How to set default text size in OUTLOOK 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 7

Thank you Clyde !!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Ohio Man's arrest due to Drunk-Driving Facebook Video Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 7 1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, was recaptured by the French. History ______________________________________________________ A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company. --- Gian Vincenzo Gravina (1664 - 1718) The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. --- Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bob prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party he was giving. In his haste, however, he forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. He was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. He called the local Poison Control Center and voiced his concern. They advised Bob to boil the sauce again. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. "Hey, Bob! It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out." ______________________________________________________ The police chief in the Mexican border city of Ciudad Juarez says his new fleet of patrol cars won't do for his "ample" officers. Armando Castaneda says he doesn't want the fleet of 160 Chevrolet Cavaliers. He wants the roomier Ford Crown Victorias, which officers currently use. Mr Castaneda said: "The officers are very ample and very tall and don't fit comfortably inside the cars. Mr Castaneda says the Cavaliers also won't work because they are standards and officers cannot be shifting gears during high-speed chases. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin Rittgers, 28, Obetz, Ohio
Ohio Man's arrest due to Drunk-Driving Facebook Video An Ohio man took cellphone video of himself drinking while driving and posted it on Facebook, leading to his arrest hours later in a case that illustrates how social media can help law enforcement, a sheriff's office said. Someone tipped off deputies about the video after it was posted Monday, and the vehicle was stopped that afternoon south of Columbus, in Hamilton Township, the Franklin County sheriff's office said. A copy of the 12-second video provided by the sheriff's office shows a man sitting in a vehicle, looking into the camera while music plays in the background, then raising his eyebrows and taking a swig from a partially covered bottle. He doesn't speak. As the clip ends, the camera is flipped around to show a hand with only one finger raised to guide the steering wheel as a wiper moves across the vehicle's windshield. The driver, Dustin Rittgers, 28, pleaded not guilty Tuesday in Franklin County Municipal Court on five misdemeanor charges, including operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol or drugs and having an open container in a vehicle. Court records indicate Rittgers pleaded guilty earlier this year in a separate impaired-driving case stemming from a September 2014 stop by state troopers.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: How to set default text size in OUTLOOK Dear Webby, I have microsoft outlook for my email.i can't keep the fonts and size permanent.i will set it the way I want,close email and when I open it again a different font and size are there. any clue? DJ Dear DJ In Outlook, the default font that is used when you create, reply to, or forward an email message is 11-point Calibri. You can change the default font and its color, size, and style — such as bold or italic. NOTE Recipients of your messages must also have the same font installed on his or her computer so that they see the message the same way it appears on your computer. If the font that you use isn't installed on the recipient's computer, then the recipient's mail program substitutes an available font. Change the default font style for new messages that you compose Click the File tab. Click Options. Click Mail. Under Compose messages, click Stationery and Fonts. On the Personal Stationery tab, under New mail messages, click Font. On the Font tab, under Font, click the font that you want to use for all new messages. If you want, select a font style and size. Click OK on the Font, the Signatures and Stationery, and the Outlook Options dialog boxes. When you create a message, the new settings take effect. Change the default font style for messages that you reply to or forward Click the File tab. Click Options. Click Mail. Under Compose messages, click Stationery and Fonts. On the Personal Stationery tab, under Replying or forwarding messages, click Font. On the Font tab, change the font options to what you want to use for future messages. Click OK on the Font, the Signatures and Stationery, and the Outlook Options dialog boxes. When you reply to or forward a message, the new settings take effect. With received messages all bets are off. If your Sweetie uses some weird and wacky font, if your computer has that font, it will use it. If not, your computer will substitute some other font. If the font size in a received message is too large or too small, hit REPLY and you will see it in YOUR defaults. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A sweet young Miss thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him when was the last time he had had sex. "1956," came his immediate reply. "No wonder you look so uptight!" she exclaimed. "Honey, you need to get out more." "I'm not sure I understand what you mean," he answered, glancing at his watch. "It's only 2014 now." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Merry Meringues A wonderfully light, easy, low calorie Christmas treat to make. Approximate Time: 2 hours, including cool time Yield: 5 dozen Ingredients: 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 cup powdered sugar 1 tsp cream of tartar dash salt 1 tsp vanilla 4 egg whites, room tempurature 1 tsp cinnamon Steps: These are possible without an electric mixer, but so much easier with! Beat the egg whites and salt until soft peaks form (about 3 minutes on high). Add in sugars, salt, vanilla and cinnamon a little bit at a time. Beat on high for about 6 minutes or until glossy peaks form. Preheat oven to 250 F. Drop by teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheets (you'll need 4*) and bake for 50 minutes. Turn the oven OFF. Keep the cookies in the oven as it cools, for at least an hour. No peeking! Makes about 5 dozen cookies. Yummy! *You may want to half the recipe if you don't have enough sheets. These need to bake all in one batch. By Rae G. [22] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained six new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!" ___________________________________________________
Ghost Riders in the Sky written and sung by Stan Jones - rare recording
____________________________________________________ A girl says to the salesman, "I'm not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker." He says, "Well, that depends. Are you going sweat, or are you gonna break wind?" ____________________________________________________ The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the teacher decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals. "I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is. First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees." The children looked at her blankly. "I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns." No response. This wasn't going well at all! Finally a kid volunteered: "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!" ____________________________________________________
A few photos of the 2016 Harbin Ice and Snow Festival. The sculptures are awesome.

Today, January 7, in
1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, 
 was recaptured by the French. 
1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He named 
 them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 
1785 French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the 
 first air-crossing of the English Channel from the English 
 coast to France. 
1887 Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle trip. 
 He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his bike traveled 
 13,500 miles in almost three years time. 
1894 W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture film. 
1896 The "Fannie Farmer Cookbook" was published. 
1904 The distress signal "CQD" was established. Two years later 
 "SOS" became the radio distress signal because it was quicker to 
 send by wireless radio. 
1927 Transatlantic telephone service began between New York and 
 London. 31 calls were made on this first day. 
1932 Chancellor Heinrich Brüning declared that Germany cannot, 
 and will not, resume reparations payments. 
1940 "Gene Autry’s Melody Ranch" debuted on CBS Radio. The show 
 aired for 16 years. 
1942 The World War II siege of Bataan began. 
1949 The first photograph of genes was shown at the University of 
 Southern California in Los Angeles. 
1953 U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development of the 
 hydrogen bomb. 
1954 The Duoscopic TV receiver was unveiled this day. The TV set 
 allowed the watching of two different shows at the same time. 
1959 The United States recognized Fidel Castro's new government 
 in Cuba. 
1975 OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which began a 
 time of world economic inflation. 
1979 Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh, 
 overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government. 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that authorized 
 $1.5 billion in loans for the bail out of Chrysler Corp. 
1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan following the 
 death of his father, Emperor Hirohito. 
1990 The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public. The 
 accelerated rate of "leaning" raised fears for the safety of its 
 visitors. 
1996 Alvaro Arzu was elected president of Guatemala. 
1996 One of the biggest blizzards in U.S. history hit the eastern 
 states. More than 100 deaths were later blamed on the severe weather. 
1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky signed an affidavit 
 denying that she had an affair with U.S. President Clinton. 
1999 U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the Senate. It was 
 only the second time in U.S. history that an impeached president 
 had gone to trial. Clinton was later acquitted of perjury and 
 obstruction of justice charges. 
2002 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates introduced a new device 
 code named Mira. The device was tablet-like and was a cross between 
 a handheld computer and a TV remote control. 
2009 Russia shut off all gas supplies to Europe through Ukraine. 
 Prime Minister Vladimir Putin publicly endorsed the move and urged 
 greater international involvement in the energy dispute. 
2015  smiled.


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How to set default text size in WORD 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Illinois teacher, who had sex with a minor while his mother was in the house and snooping around. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 6 1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, his fourth wife. History ______________________________________________________ Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. --- Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Remember when mice had balls? Secretary: "Pastor, we've got a problem in the computer lab where you met with the confirmation class last week. Some of the boys in the class started messing with the mice." Pastor: "What?!?" (thinking: we've got mice in there!?) Secretary: "Yeah, it seems some of the boys removed their balls." Pastor (incredulously...): "Th..th...they did what??? How in the world did they do that???" Secretary: "They must have used a screwdriver or something." Pastor: "We've got some pretty sick boys... I... I... didn't even realize mice had balls...!" Secretary: "Yeah, they roll around on 'em all the time!" Pastor: "What???" (still thinking of the little fury real animals) "Well...what can we do?" Secretary: "I guess we'll have to put 'em back on..." Pastor: "WHAT?!?" Secretary: "Hmmm....Pastor, are we talking about the same thing?!" ______________________________________________________ On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small town and pointing to it, told the children that it was St. Francis' Church. "It must be a franchise," her eight-year-old son said. "We've got one of those in our town too." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christine Taylor, 44, Naperville, Illinois
Illinois teacher arrested for sex with a minor while his mother was in the house and snooping around. A Naperville middle school teacher was charged with one count of aggravated criminal sexual abuse, police said, after she sexually abused a 16-year-old boy in her home with the boy’s mother in the house. Christine Taylor, 44, of the 1100 block of Spring Garden Circle, had the boy and his mother over for pizza on New Year’s Day, ABC Chicago reported. Taylor then convinced the mom to let the boy come with her to walk the dog. Instead, she took the boy to her bedroom and sexually abused him, according to the report. Taylor was caught abusing the boy by his mom. Another resident in Taylor’s home called the police. Her bail was set at $300,000 on Sunday. Taylor taught at Jefferson Middle School. The boy was not a student at the school, reports the Chicago Sun-Times.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jane Re: How to set default text size in WORD Dear Webby, I keep a lot of my files as plain text in Word 2010. A few days ago, they started opening in size 10.5 whereas they used to be about 8 or 9. I have no idea what I might have done to change the size. Also, I have not located a way to change the opening size. Is there a place to change the default? Clyde Dear Clyde To change the style of the default font in Word 2010, follow these steps: If you do not have a document open, create a new document that is based on the Normal template. To do this, click File, click New, click Blank Document, and then click Create. In the Font group, click the Font flyout. Select the options that you want to apply to the default font, such as font style and font size. If you selected specific text, the properties of the selected text are set in the dialog box. Click Set As Default. Select the All documents based on the Normal.dotm template? option, and then click OK. Personally I use NoteTab from http://Notetab.com and have used it for many years. NoteTab is an excellent text editor, and allows you to have dozens of tabs with different documents open, and has all kinds of handy tools, including HTML. I use it for all newsletters and most HTML work too, not just plain text. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said: "Get your own dope." How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient. Then I noticed the rest of her message: "Buy a politician." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shaped Sugar Cubes My kids love having tea parties. We dress up and make it special. Well, I discovered a while back that you can make shaped sugar cubes. How fancy is that? With a little trial and error, I figured out the right measurements to make it work. The tea parties have been taken to another level! These also make a nice gift. You could package some up and include with a mug and tea bags for a sick friend. It's something simple, but would mean so much. Approximate Time: 10 minutes or so. About 2-3 days to dry. Yield: These measurements made 16 flower-shaped cubes. Supplies: 1 cup sugar - I used white but I've seen others use brown sugar or tubinado. I've not tried it with those, though. The measurements may be different.) 1 Tbsp water ice cube mold or candy mold, the less intricate, the better. If there are too many features, the sugar may break easier. bowl and spoon to mix it Steps: Pour 1 cup of sugar into a bowl. Pour the water, trying to wet as much sugar as possible. Don't add too much water, or these will take forever to dry. Mix. It may take a little coaxing at first, but keep stirring. The sugar needs to be the consistency of moist sand. Spoon some mixture into each mold. Press firmly. You really want to apply some pressure or the cubes won't hold together. Use the back of your spoon to push a little more and to level it off. Let your cubes dry in a dry spot. After 2 days, check on it. Try to get the cube out by gently pressing on the back of the mold. If it breaks apart, they aren't ready! Wait til tomorrow. Then, try gently pressing it out again. There will be a couple that break off, but most of your cubes should be intact. Flip the cubes onto a plate or some other flat surface so they can dry a little more, for a day or so. By Becky Miles [97] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible." The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service. ___________________________________________________
dog plays pool
____________________________________________________ >From Darsheena in Iowa Why do our kids have to take the Iowa Test for Basic Skills? Why can't we have a Georgia Test of Basic Skills with questions like, "Bubba's got three cars and he done traded for two more. How many cement blocks is Bubba gonna need?" ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I called him a horse@#$%. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I really didn't give a hoot. That car now belongs to my ex wife. I had walked to the store. ____________________________________________________
22 Incredibly rare things from this fascinating world.

Today, January 6, in
0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the 
 Battle of Ashdown.
1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans. 
1453 Frederick III erected Austria into an Archduchy. 
1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves, 
 his fourth wife. 
1720 The Committee of Inquiry on the South Sea Bubble 
 published its findings. 
1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph. 
1896 The first American women’s six-day bicycle race was 
 held at Madison Square Garden in New York City. 
1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people 
 were dying from starvation. 
1900 Off of South Africa, the British seized the German 
 steamer Herzog. The boat was released on January 22
1930 The first diesel-engine automobile trip was completed 
 after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to 
 New York City, NY. 
1942 The first commercial around-the-world airline flight 
 took place. Pan American Airlines was the company.
1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German 
 and 77,000 Allied casualties. 
1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China. 
1952 "Peanuts" debuted in Sunday papers across the US. 
1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major 
 offensive, known as Operation "Deckhouse V", in the 
 Mekong River delta. 
1982 William G. Bonin was convicted in Los Angeles, CA, 
 of being the "freeway killer" who had murdered 14 
 young men and boys. 
1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was 
 presented with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. 
 It was the first occurrence of a repeat winner of 
 the award. 
1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right 
 leg by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four 
 men were later sentenced to prison for the attack, 
 including Tonya Harding's ex-husband. 
1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit 
 around the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, 
 in an effort to find water under the lunar surface, 
 on July 31, 1999. 
2004In the United Arab Emirates, construction began on 
 the Burj Khalifa skyscraper. Upon completion it was the 
 world's largest building. 
2015  smiled.


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TV close to computer 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a KY man arrested after police say they discovered him with drunk, 17-year-old 'prostitute' after a DUI accident. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 5, in 1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition led by Benedict Arnold. History ______________________________________________________ As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. --- Dick Cavett (1936 - ) All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Noella An old fishing joke. If you go fishing with a Baptist, and you want your Baptist friend NOT to drink all your beer ... simply bring another Baptist along. ______________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just before she dismissed them to go to church she asked them, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain was the correct answer, "Because people are sleeping!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Gutterman, 54, Louisville, Kentucky
Man arrested after police say they discovered him with drunk, 17-year-old 'prostitute' LOUISVILLE, KY (WAVE) – A 54-year-old man was arrested after police discovered him with a drunk 17-year-old, who he claimed was a prostitute. Police said John Gutterman, 54, was involved in a non-injury accident on January 2 at I-65 south and Warnock Street. He apparently tried to flee the scene. When officers arrived, both Gutterman and his passenger appeared to be under the influence of alcohol, smelled strongly of alcohol and were unsteady on their feet. They also had urinated on themselves, said police. An arrest report states the passenger was a 17-year-old girl. Gutterman told police she was a prostitute and they had just left the Day's Inn after partying. Gutterman is being charged with leaving the scene of an accident, unlawful transaction with a minor, DUI and wanton endangerment.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jane Re: TV and Computer nearby Dear Webby, We live in a small condo which does not include an extra room for the computer. It have the computer on my desk with the back of it about a fingers width from the television. Is it safe to run the computer and TV at the same time or should I turn one off before turning the other on? Thanks. Jane Dear Jane With modern TVs there is absolutely no problem. With some of them you can even use them as a computer monitor. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. "My recruiter." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Microwave Fudge Ingredients: 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk dash of salt 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup chopped walnuts, optional Steps: Put chocolate chips and condensed milk into a microwave safe bowl. Add salt and stir well. Microwave on HIGH for 1 minute 30 seconds. Stir well and microwave on HIGH for another 1 minute 30 seconds. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Add walnuts and stir well. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Line an 8 x 8 inch glass pan with foil. Scoop fudge into the pan. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Use a spatula to spread fudge out evenly, gently packing it down into the corners of the pan. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Lift the fudge out of the pan and carefully pull away the foil. Allow fudge to warm up a little bit, then cut into 1 inch squares. Enjoy! By lalala... [729] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Gary was playing soccer with his local team. He got a breakaway and headed towards the goal. He missed an easy shot to tie the game, which meant the other team won. "I could kick myself," he groaned, as the players came off the field. "Don't bother," said the captain, "you'd miss." ___________________________________________________
Jumping Jive
____________________________________________________ Catching her in the act, I jokingly confronted a visitor's 3-year-old daughter, "Are you eating your little sister's grapes?" "No," she innocently replied, "I'm teaching her to share!" ____________________________________________________ A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful woman enters the room. ____________________________________________________
Top 20 photos of 2015 from National Geographic.

Today, January 5, in
1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition 
 led by Benedict Arnold. 
1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to 
 offer piggy-back rail service which was the transportation 
 of farm wagons on trains. 
1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm 
 Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became 
 known as X-rays. 
1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond called 
 for a revolt against British rule. 
1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for the 
 very first time. 
1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a new 
 daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. 
1933 In California, construction of the Golden Gate Bridge 
 began. 
1940 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) got its 
 very first demonstration of FM radio. 
1948 Warner Brothers-Pathe showed the very first color 
 newsreel. The footage was of the Tournament of Roses 
 Parade and the Rose Bowl football classic. 
1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two 
 legs for the first time. 
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the 
 development of the space shuttle. 
1993 The state of Washington executed Westley Allan Dodd. 
 It was America's first legal hanging since 1965. Dodd 
 was an admitted child sex killer. 
1996 Yahya Ayyash, a member of the Hamas in Israel, 
 is killed by a booby-trapped cellular phone. 
1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono died in skiing 
 accident. 
2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, 
 crashed a small plane into a building in Tampa, FL. 
 Bishop was about to begin a flying lesson when he 
 took off without permission and without an 
 instructor. 
2015  smiled.


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Vacuuming around computers 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a British roofer who choked his girlfriend, when she offered to buy him breakfast at McDonalds. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 4, in 1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful appendectomy. The patient was Mary Gartside. History ______________________________________________________ He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, That's how the light gets in. --- Leonard Cohen ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ You have all seen pictures of the Little Mermaid at the entrance of the Copenhagen harbor. Now FaceBook has decided the 1913 statue is too naked for FaceBook. Well, she is NOT too naked for the Dear Webby Humor letter: ______________________________________________________ Bob's grandfather came to America to gain freedom, but it didn't work. Bob's grandmother came over on the very next boat. ______________________________________________________ Jolene had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen. A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and mentioned, "We were sure glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen, and that he was able to clean up the mess before you got back!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dad for this picture from his kitchen window. Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ \ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lee Barton, 28, Carlisle,
Roofer who choked his girlfriend and threatened to kill her after she offered to buy him a McDonald's breakfast while he was on a diet is jailed for 26 months A roofer who throttled his girlfriend while screaming 'I'm going to kill you' after she offered to buy him a McDonald's breakfast while he was on a diet has been jailed for two years. Lee Barton, 28, flew into a rage and throttled Ashley Irvine after she suggested getting him a McMuffin while he was trying to lose weight. Barton shoved her onto a bed and choked her until she struggled to breathe. 'She could see the relationship between them was coming to an end. She went upstairs to take her wages from a locked box so she would have money for her and her children once the accused left. 'The accused followed her upstairs and confronted her in the bedroom. She had the money in her hand and he grabbed it from her and threatened to burn it in front of her. 'He attempted to light it with his lighter. He sparked the lighter but it failed to ignite the bundle of money. He raised his fist as if to punch her and she screamed. 'He pinned her down on the bed by the throat. He had his hands round her throat and continued to choke her. He compressed her throat and stated "I'm going to kill you".' She escaped by telling Barton she was texting a friend to meet for coffee but instead she told the friend what happened and got them to call 999. Barton was arrested and initially denied throttling his lover, but admitted squeezing her face and told officers he 'would have killed her.' The court heard that he had attacked her in a similar manner last autumn when she tried to usher him out of the house. 'He grabbed her by the throat and choked her until she felt she could not breath,' the fiscal depute told the court. Barton, from Carlisle, admitted attacking Ashley Irvine at Dunnock Park in Perth between September and November last year by compressing her throat. He admitted assaulting her again on 21 February by grabbing her throat, shoving her onto a bed and throttling her while making threats of violence. He admitted seizing bank notes from her hand and threatening to burn them. Mr Letford said: 'Miss Irvine described the relationship as awful and she is extremely fearful and frightened of the accused. She said she was walking on eggshells around the accused because of fears about how he would react.' Barton had a further year's supervised release imposed and was made subject to a three year non-harassment order in a bid to keep him away from his victim.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sue Re: Is it safe to vacuum around computers? Dear Webby, Is it safe to vacuum around computers or will the static cause problems? Sue Dear Sue Yes, it is perfectly safe to vacuum around computers. They are grounded electrically and nowadays all inputs are shielded. Do NOT unplug them before vacuuming around or inside them. You should, however, turn them off before you begin vacuuming. The reason for that is that you might accidentally unplug some cables and that could cause the machine to crash. Depending on the environment they are in, desktop computers should be vacuumed out once per year, under-the-desk floor models should be opened and vacuumed out twice a year. 99% of computer cases are designed by fashion conscious morons who think it is a good idea to suck the dustballs and cathairs and whatever in through your computer's drives, let the dustballs get snagged on the heatsinks inside the case, and then blow the clean air out through the cheapest part of all, the power supply. DUH! So just open the computer and vacuum it out before the fuzzy dust blanket inside causes expensive parts to overheat and malfunction. All you have to remember is: Turn the computer OFF, but do NOT UNPLUG IT. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Nancy knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at her, and said, "Nancy, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake. You probably need new glasses." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Microwave Fudge Ingredients: 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk dash of salt 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract 1 cup chopped walnuts, optional Steps: Put chocolate chips and condensed milk into a microwave safe bowl. Add salt and stir well. Microwave on HIGH for 1 minute 30 seconds. Stir well and microwave on HIGH for another 1 minute 30 seconds. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Add walnuts and stir well. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Line an 8 x 8 inch glass pan with foil. Scoop fudge into the pan. Easy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave FudgeEasy Microwave Fudge Use a spatula to spread fudge out evenly, gently packing it down into the corners of the pan. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Lift the fudge out of the pan and carefully pull away the foil. Allow fudge to warm up a little bit, then cut into 1 inch squares. Enjoy! By lalala... [729] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A drummer got bored with his instrument and decided to take up the accordion instead. Walking into a music shop, he spotted one he liked and asked the shopkeeper, "how much is that accordion by the wall?" The shopkeeper looked at him and said, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" "Yes, how did you know?" he said. "That's the radiator, and it is not for sale." ___________________________________________________
How to Get to Mars. Very Cool !
____________________________________________________ A passenger train is creeping along slowly through the plains of Alabama. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ____________________________________________________ Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" He asked, very concerned. She said, "Well, we met by accident, I hit his wheelchair with the car." ____________________________________________________
"Don't trust a man with the luggage." I love this lady's sense of humor.

Today, January 4, in
1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 
1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful 
 appendectomy. The patient was Mary Gartside. 
1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was 
 published by "Billboard" magazine. 
1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British 
 Fifth Army in Italy. 
1948 Britain granted independence to Burma. 
1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist 
 Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 
1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick Mills. 
1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from 
 its orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 
1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without 
 conductors and motormen. 
1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13 million. 
1984 Wayne ‘The Great One’ Gretzky scored eight points (four goals 
 and four assists) for the second time in his National Hockey League 
 (NHL) career. Edmonton’s Oilers defeated the Minnesota North Stars, 
 12-8. The game was the highest-scoring NHL game to date. 
1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to buy 
 S-300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 
1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the Norwegian 
 oil tanker Joelm. The fisherman had been lost at sea for 35 days 
 after the engine of their vessel quit working. 
1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in as 
 Minnesota's 37th governor. 
2006 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. 
 She was the first woman to hold the position. 
2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower) 
 opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. 
2015  smiled.


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How to remove previous choices in forms 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Masked, costumed, tattooed man who was arrested for disturbance at Oklahoma Kum & Go Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 3, in 1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the South Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the islands from the British, but Britain took them back after a 74-day war, after their submarines sank Argentina's only destroyer. History ______________________________________________________ The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. --- Joe Martin --------- The technical term for that is "Percussive maintenance". ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Dear Rev When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this? Bubba Dear Bubba Change the setting on your barbecue from "Well Done" to "Medium" or "Rare". Not only is the odor more pleasing, but the steaks taste a lot better. ______________________________________________________ After a long, bumpy flight, the passengers were glad to finally land. They disembarked, and the attendants checked for items left behind. In a seat pocket, one found a bag of homemade cookies with a note saying "Much love, Mom." Quickly, she brought the bag to the gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. In few minutes, this announcement came over the public-address system in the concourse: "Would the passenger who lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big version Levitant ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Carter, 26, Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
Masked, costumed, tattooed man who was arrested for disturbance at Oklahoma Kum & Go A masked, costumed man was arrested yesterday after causing a disturbance at a Kum & Go convenience store in Oklahoma, police report. Michael Carter, 26, was collared Wednesday morning by Broken Arrow cops for obstructing or interfering with police, a misdemeanor. According to police, Kum & Go employees asked Carter to leave the business, but he refused. Instead, Carter locked himself in a store bathroom. In addition to the mask, Carter wore a red bandana that was accessorized with forks, a makeshift red cape, and red sweatpants. A toy gun was tucked into Carter’s waistband. Before entering the Kum & Go, Carter was seen at a nearby Whataburger restaurant, where a diner took the photos of him. Carter, seen above, is locked up in lieu of $500 bond. His mask partly covered a fully tattooed face that includes a swastika on his forehead and “Jesus Christ” on his right cheek.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dotty Re: remove previous choices in forms Dear Webby, Dear Webby When I fill forms Windoze is always trying to be helpful and offering previously used words or phrases. For example when filling a form in my blog with the date, it "suggests" all the previously used dates. Well, December is gone, so is November and October. How do I clean out those previously used choices? I am using Chrome. Dotty Dear Dotty There is no easy one click deal for that. As soon as you enter a letter and it shows previously used choices, hold down SHIFT and hit DELETE. Keep your finger on SHIFT and keep hitting DELETE. After you have clened the 5 first choices, type a letter to bring up another 5, and repeat the silly process. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Customer: I just registered my domain name with you guys. Someone in our office told me it was only good in your state. BUZZY: No, ma'am. A domain name is good in all states and in all countries. Customer: So, it is good in all 52 states? BUZZY: Yes, all states and all countries of the earth. Customer: Alabama too ? BUZZY: Do you mean the Alabama on Earth or the other one ? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stuffing Mix Meatloaf I asked my husband to pick up stuffing mix for the holidays. He came back with 4 boxes, saying they had a buy 2 get 2 free sale. I didn't have enough people over to use all 4 boxes so we had some mix left over. Ground beef seemed to go on sale, too, seeing as how poultry and ham has been more popular. Here's how to make a fabulous, juicy, seasoned meatloaf using boxed stuffing mix. This recipe can be doubled perfectly to use a whole box. Approximate Time: 1 Hour Yield: 4-6 servings Ingredients: 1 lb ground beef 1/2 pkg stuffing mix 1/2 cup water 1 egg 2 Tbsp ketchup 1/3 cup ketchup 1 Tbsp mustard 1/2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce 3 Tbsp brown sugar Steps: Preheat oven to 350F. In a bowl, mix meat, stuffing mix, water, egg and 2 Tbsp ketchup. Stuffing Mix MeatloafStuffing Mix Meatloaf Shape into a loaf on a lightly greased baking dish. Stuffing Mix Meatloaf Mix ketchup, mustard, Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar in a little bowl. Brush 2/3's of this mixture on top of the loaf. Stuffing Mix MeatloafStuffing Mix Meatloaf Bake for about 50 minutes until done (registers at 160F). Stuffing Mix Meatloaf Serve with remaining 1/3 of sauce mixture. Stuffing Mix Meatloaf Source: My twist on a Kraft recipe with my own sauce. By attosa [153] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Several women appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The women were arguing noisily even in the court. The judge, banging his gavel to quiet them said, "We are going to do this in an orderly manner. I can't listen to all of you at once. I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. ___________________________________________________
obedient dogs
____________________________________________________ Any CEO caught using corporate funds for his own personal gains should be charged with impersonating a politician. ____________________________________________________ Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh. ____________________________________________________
Beautiful snow scenes from a spray can.

Today, January 3, in
1496 References in Leonardo da Vinci notebooks suggested that 
 he tested his flying machine. The test didn't succeed and he 
 didn't try to fly again for several years. 
1521 Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther. 
1777 The Battle of Princeton took place in the War of Independence, 
 in which George Washington defeated the British forces
1815 By secret treaty, Austria, Britain, and France formed a defensive 
 alliance against Prusso-Russian plans to solve the Saxon and Polish 
 problems. 
1823 Stephen F. Austin received a grant from the Mexican government 
 and began colonization in the region of the Brazos River in Texas. 
1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the South 
 Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the islands from 
 the British, but Britain took them back after a 74-day war, after 
 their submarines sank Argentina's only destroyer. 
1868 The Shogunate was abolished in Japan and Meiji dynasty was 
 restored. 
1871 Henry W. Bradley patented oleomargarine. 
1888 The drinking straw was patented by Marvin C. Stone. 
1924 English explorer Howard Carter discovered the sarcophagus of 
 Tutankhamen in the Valley of the Kings, near Luxor, Egypt. 
1925 In Italy, Mussolini announced that he would take 
 dictatorial powers. 
1947 In Trenton, NJ, Al Herrin, passed away at age 92. He had 
 claimed that he had not slept at all during his life. 
1957 The Hamilton Watch Company introduced the first electric 
 watch. 
1959 In the U.S., Alaska became the 49th state. 
1961 The U.S. severed diplomatic relations with Cuba. 
1962 Pope John XXIII excommunicated Cuban prime minister 
 Fidel Castro. 
1967 Jack Ruby died in a Dallas, TX, hospital. 
1980 Conservationist Joy Adamson, author of "Born Free," 
 was killed in northern Kenya by a servant. 
1984 A woman died at Disneyland after falling from a ride. 
 She had apparently unfastened her seatbelt while on the 
 Matterhorn bobsled. 
1990 Ousted Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega surrendered 
 to U.S. forces, 10 days after taking refuge in the Vatican's 
 diplomatic mission. 
1993 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Russian President 
 Boris Yeltsin signed the second Strategic Arms Reduction 
 Treaty (START) in Moscow. 
1998 China announced that it would spend $27.7 billion to 
 fight erosion and pollution in the Yangtze and Yellow 
 river valleys. 
1999 Israeli authorities detained, and later expelled, 
 14 members of Concerned Christians. Israili officials 
 claimed that the Denver, CO-based cult was plotting 
 violence in Jerusalem to bring about the Second Coming 
 of Christ. 
2000 Charles M. Schulz's final original daily comic 
 strip appeared in newspapers. 
2001 The ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms) 
 charged the "Texas 7" with weapons violations. An autopsy 
 showed that Officer Aubrey Hawkins, killed by the convicts, 
 had been shot 11 times and run over with a vehicle. 
2004 NASA's Spirit rover landed on Mars. The craft was able 
 to send back black and white images three hours after landing.
2015  smiled.


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Skype Alternative 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Jailed Man Charged With Bigamy After 2 Wives Pay Him A Visit Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 2, in 1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. History ______________________________________________________ Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little girl was playing quietly while her mom and another lady friend were talking. The little girl let out a big fart. Her mother said "What do you say Suzy?", expecting the reply, "Excuse me." What the little girl said instead was: "Watch out, here comes another one!" ______________________________________________________ Cindy was at an interview with the company psychiatrist as part of a job interview. As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company. Things were not not going well for her. The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give her one last chance. He asked, "if you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" Cindy quickly responded, "the living one." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Wayne for this picture: Click through for the big version ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Frank E. Blake Jr., , In Jail in Henrico, Virginia
Jailed Man Charged With Bigamy After 2 Wives Pay Him A Visit A Virginia man will be spending more time behind bars after his second and third wives showed up to visit him in jail at the same time. The Richmond Times-Dispatch reports that Frank E. Blake Jr.'s visitors led investigators to discover that Blake hadn't divorced his second wife before he married his third wife. Authorities also say Blakemarried his second wife before his divorce from his first wife was finalized. It's unclear why Blake was initially in jail. Blake pleaded no contest Tuesday to a charge of bigamy, stemming from the overlap between the end of his first marriage and the start of his second. He was sentenced to 1.5 years imprisonment, with 3.5 years suspended. Blake says he didn't realize he was committing a felony.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dick Re: Skype alternative Dear Webby, Here's a comparison between Skype, Zoom, and Google+ Comparison. One of the excellent features of Zoom is that you can have up to 25 participants even with the free version. And while you can do screen sharing, the comparison says you can't do file sharing, but of course, you can share a picture of a page of your file on your screen. And here is info on exporting Skype contacts: http://www.cnet.com/how-to/how-to-expor ... -contacts/ Happy New Year, Dick Dear Dick That looks excellent! It would be a nightmare to get hundreds of clients to suddenly switch, but it would definitely be a good tool to have in the tool box, and get new clients to sign up with Zoom. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy No Cook Chocolate Fudge Here is a quick and easy way to make a pan of chocolate fudge. No cooking required. Approximate Time: 15 minutes Yield: 8 inch square pan Ingredients: 1 can (16 oz) chocolate fudge cake frosting 2 cups chocolate chips 1 tsp vanilla 1 pinch salt 1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional) Steps: Butter an 8 inch square pan or line with parchment paper. Put chocolate chips in a microwavable bowl. Partially melt in your microwave. This should take from 30 seconds to 1 minute. Stir in can of frosting and continue melting in the microwave until the mixture is smooth. I do it in 20 second increments. Stirring after each 20 seconds. Remove from microwave and stir in vanilla, salt, and nuts if you are using them. Pour immediately into the prepared pan and let set. If you are in a hurry you can put the pan in the refrigerator. After they have set, cut into pieces and enjoy. Source: My sister-she can't remember where she found it. By Diana W. [14] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Mom, you'd better come outside! I've just knocked over the ladder at the side of the house." "I'm busy. Go and tell your father." "He already knows. He's hanging from the roof." ___________________________________________________
Holy Hologram! 7D
____________________________________________________ Trina and Trisha, obviously nervous about their flight, bought some flight insurance at the terminal. They couldn't decide who to name as beneficiaries, however. Finally they ended up each naming the other and happily boarded the same plane. ____________________________________________________ In bygone days, a thin man insulted a fat man. The fat man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols. On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution. "Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body," he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines, we won't count." ____________________________________________________
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Today, January 2, in
1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered 
 to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 
1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge was 
 opened to traffic. 
1859 Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of Practical Etiquette." 
1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, 
 was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 
1879 Thomas Edison began construction on his first generator. 
1882 The Standard Oil Trust agreement was completed and dated. 
 The document transferred the stock and property of more than 
 40 companies into the control of nine trustees lead by 
 John D. Rockefeller. This was the first example of what became 
 known as a holding company. 
1900 U.S. Secretary of State John Hay announced the Open Door 
 Policy to prompt trade with China. 
1900 The Chicago Canal opened. 
1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 
1929 The United States and Canada reached an agreement on joint 
 action to preserve Niagara Falls. 
1935 Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the kidnap-murder 
 of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was found guilty and 
 executed. 
1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese 
 forces during World War II. 
1953 "The Life of Riley" debuted on NBC-TV. 
1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 
1957 The San Francisco and Los Angeles stock exchanges merged. 
1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. 
1974 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring all 
 states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The law was 
 intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an embargo imposed 
 by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal speed limits were 
 abolished in 1995. 
1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over 
 three years. 
1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep 
 inflation in check and promote confidence. 
2004 NASA's Stardust space probe collected samples from the 
 comet Wild 2. The samples returned to Earth on January 15, 2006. 
2008 The price of oil hit $100 per barrell for the first time. 
2015  smiled.


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How to stop Skype updater attacks 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 1
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman arrested for carrying pot and a cigar in her vagina, plus outstanding warrants. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 1, in 0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. History ______________________________________________________ Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. --- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On the morning after the consummation of the marriage of two senior citizens. The new bride awoke purring. Hearing her new husband running water in the bathroom, she said, "Did you just brush your teeth?" The husband answered, "Yes, dear. And while I was at it, I brushed yours too." ______________________________________________________ Angus McGillicuddy was looking for a gift for a friend of his. Everything he saw in the store was too expensive. Then he came across a glass vase that had been broken, which could be purchased for next to nothing. The tightwad asked the store clerk to send the gift, hoping his friend would think that the vase had been broken during transit. A couple of weeks later, the tightwad received an acknowledgment for the gift. "Thanks for the vase," read the card. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carneeka Sanders, 20, St. Petersburg, Florida
Florida woman arrested for carrying pot and a cigar in her vagina, plus outstanding warrants. Sanders was arrested last night on an outstanding warrant after a car she was traveling in was stopped by St. Petersburg police. After being patted down by a cop, Sanders "stated she had marijuana and a cigar in her vagina," according to a criminal complaint. Sanders then “provided the marijuana and cigar” to an officer. Seen above, Sanders was arrested for pot possession and the outstanding warrant (which was related to her alleged failure to return a rental car). Sanders, who was arrested twice last year for pot possession, was released from custody early this morning after posting $5000 bond. Police records list Sanders’s employer as the Steak 'n Shake restaurant chain. The complaint does not detail the weight of the marijuana seized, the size of the stashed cigar, or whether the stogie was stuffed with pot.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Attack by Skype 7 Dear Webby, I don't like Skype 7. Period. It is a piece of crap, and the way it wastes screen space is ridiculous. Yes, I know, I can UNinstall the bloody nuisance and then install 6.20 again, but I hate the way it assumes I want 7.something every time Windows bungs up and I am frantically trying to save and close programs. Just then, when I really don't want anything else starting up, it does an unauthorized "update". Is there a way to stop those sneaky update attacks? Thanks Karen Dear Karen That is a very common problem, since Skype 7 is about as popular as Windows 8. Click on START, then type services.msc when it finds it, click on it. Eventually Services will start, just be patient. After it shows a list of services, look for Skype Updater. Click on it, and select Properties in there change Automatic to Disabled. That will stop the nuisance attacks. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know" said the man, "but I can't. Until snow plowing season starts and more money comes in, I can't afford a divorce!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheese Tart Recipe Ingredients 1 package cream cheese, softened 1 can sweetened condensed milk 1/3 cup lemon juice from concentrate 1 tsp. vanilla 2 packages. graham cracker crusts Assorted fruit (such as strawberries, blueberries, bananas, raspberries, orange segments, cherries, kiwi fruit, grapes, pineapple, etc.) 1/4 cup apple jelly, melted (opt.) Directions With mixer, beat cheese until fluffy. gradually beat in sweetened condensed milk until smooth. Stir in lemon juice and vanilla. Spoon into crusts. Chill 2 hours or until set. Just before serving, top with fruit; brush with jelly, if desired. Refrigerate leftovers. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ___________________________________________________
cool guitar invention
____________________________________________________ GRANDMA SHOES When I was very little, All the Grandmas that I knew All walked around this world, In ugly grandma shoes. You know the ones I speak of, Those black clunky heeled kind, They just looked so very awful That it weighed upon my mind, For I knew, when I grew old, I'd have to wear those shoes, I'd think of that, from time to time It seemed like such bad news. I never was a rebel, I wore saddle shoes to school. And next came ballerinas Then the sandals, pretty cool. And then came spikes with pointed toes, Then platforms, very tall, As each new fashion came I wore them, one and all. But always, in the distance, Looming in my future, there, Was that awful pair of ugly shoes, The kind that Grandmas wear. I eventually got married And then I became a Mom. Our kids grew up and left, And then their children came along. I knew I was a Grandma And the time was drawing near, When those clunky, black, old lace up shoes Was what I'd have to wear. How would I do my gardening? Or take my morning hike? I couldn't even think about How I would ride my bike! But fashions kept evolving, And one day I realized That the shape of things to come Was changing, right before my eyes. And now, when I go shopping What I see, fills me with glee. For, in my jeans and Reeboks I'm as comfy as can be. And I look at all these teenage girls And there, upon their feet Are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes, And they really think they're neat. ____________________________________________________ Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a Nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a Lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, but now I have to run. Got some urgent phone calls to make!" ____________________________________________________
Some funny 2015 photobombs.

Today, January 1, in
0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. 
1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning 
 of the New Year (instead of March 25th). 
1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London. 
1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, replacing 
 New York City. 
1801 The Act of Union of England and Ireland came into force. 
1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first person 
 to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres. 
1804 Haiti gained its independence. 
1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, 
 which declared that all slaves in the rebel states were free. 
1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi. 
1892 Ellis Island Immigrant Station formally opened in New York. 
1892 Brooklyn and New York merged to form the single city of New York. 
1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened to traffic. 
1895 In Battle Creek, MI, C.W. Post created his first usable batch 
 of Monks Brew (later called Postum). It was a cereal-based substitute 
 for caffeinated drinks. 
1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island were 
 consolidated into New York City. 
1900 Hawaii asked for a delegate to the Republican national convention. 
1900 Nigeria became a British protectorate with Frederick Lagard 
 as the high commissioner. 
1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun 
 officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General. 
1902 The first Tournament of Roses (later the Rose Bowl) collegiate 
 football game was played in Pasadena, CA. 
1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in Britain. 
 People over 70 received five shillings a week. 
1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries. 
1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste. 
1926 The Rose Bowl was carried coast to coast on network radio for 
 the first time. 
1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison. 
1937 The First Cotton Bowl football game was played in Dallas, 
1939 The Hewlett-Packard partnership was formed by Bill 
 Hewlett and Dave Packard. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt and British Prime 
 Minister Winston Churchill issued a declaration called the 
 "United Nations." It was signed by 26 countries that vowed 
 to create an international postwar World War II peacekeeping 
 organization. 
1945 France was admitted to the United Nations. 
1956 Sudan gained its independence. 
1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations. 
1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio Batista, 
 and seized power in Cuba. 
1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control 
 of his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over 
 the ornamental fountains in front of Caesar’s Palace in 
 Las Vegas. 
1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in advertising 
 were banned from TV and radio broadcast. 
1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC. 
1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the invention 
 of a person computer called Altair. MITS, using an Intel 
 microprocessor, developed the computer. 
1979 The United States and China held celebrations in Washington, 
 DC, and Beijing to mark the establishment of diplomatic 
 relations between the two countries. 
1981 Greece joined the European Community. 
1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies under 
 terms of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. Federal government. 
1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC). 
1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen 
 Square (China). 
1992 In Kuala, Lumpur, the groundbreaking ceremony for the 
 Petronas Towers took place. 
1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the Czech 
 Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had been engineered 
 in 1992. 
1994 Bill Gates, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft and Melinda 
 French were married. 
1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect. 
1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The group of 
 125 nations monitors global trade. 
1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. The law 
 prohibiting people from lighting up in bars. 
1999 The euro became currency for 11 Member States of the European 
 Union. Coins and notes were not available until January 1, 2002. 
1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined "invasion 
 of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture audio or video 
 images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging in a personal or 
 family activity." 
2001 The "Texas 7," rented space in an RV park in Woodland Park, CO. 
2007 Binney & Smith Company became Crayola LLC under its parent 
 company Hallmark. 
2015  smiled.


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How do I set up a screen saver? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 31

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NJ man arrested after he pretended to be a cop and pulled over a real cop. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 31, in 1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of Good Hope, where they would later create the South African wine industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage. History ______________________________________________________ I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two men were playing golf together for the very first time. The first player teed off and hit the ball into a clump of trees. He finally got onto the fairway, only to hit the ball into a water hazard. The next shot resulted in a new ball flying over a fence onto a busy street. The second player said, "Maybe you should use an old ball for this shot." The first player replied, "I don't have any old balls." ______________________________________________________ An FBI agent was talking to a bank teller after the bank had been robbed for the third time by the same bandit. "Did you notice anything special about the man?" he asked. "Yes, he seems to be better dressed each time," the teller replied. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Svend for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Goldrick, 68, Nutley, New Jersey
NJ man arrested after he pretended to be a cop and pulled over a real cop. A Nutley man, posing as a cop, was arrested by state authorities after he allegedly attempted to stop an off-duty Woodbridge Police Department sergeant. Richard Goldrick, 68, of Nutley was arrested and charged with attempting to impersonate a police officer. PHOTO COURTESY OF NEW JERSEY STATE POLICE Richard Goldrick, 68, of Nutley was arrested and charged with attempting to impersonate a police officer. Richard Goldrick, 68, was charged with impersonating a police officer, possession of a weapon, and possession of false government documents, according to a press release. According to state police, on Monday, Dec. 21, at 7:15 p.m., Woodbridge police Sgt. Charles Stab was driving in his personal vehicle northbound on the Garden State Parkway at milepost 116 when Goldrick, driving a 2013 black Chevrolet Suburban, pulled behind him, and activated emergency lights. Stab then pulled over, believing the vehicle stopping him was an undercover one. However, once both vehicles were stopped, Goldrick shut off his emergency lights and quickly drove away, police said. Stab noticed that the incident was suspicious and was able obtain a description of the suspect and a license plate number, which he later provided to State Police detectives. As a result, Goldrick was arrested by Troop "D" Criminal Investigation Office detectives. During an interview with Goldrick Tuesday, Dec. 22, at Holmdel Station, police seized a .22 caliber handgun, hollow point ammunition, and fraudulent documents from inside his car. He was arrested, charged and then lodged at Monmouth County Jail in lieu of $52,000 full cash bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marla Re: How do I install a screensaver Dear Webby, I have read plenty about downloaded screensavers having a hidden "payload" of adware, spyware and malware. I don't want those. How do I install or set up the built in screen savers, that you hinted at? Marla Dear Marla First set up a folder for the pictures, that you want featured in your screen saver, and move or copy those pictures to there. Next carefully double-check those pictures by browsing them with a graphics program to make 100% sure that folder does not contain any pictures, that you don't want shown while your daughter or the minister are visiting. Once you are sure the collection is safe, Open Screen Saver Settings by clicking the Start button clicking Control Panel, clicking Appearance and Personalization, clicking Personalization, and then clicking Screen Saver. Under Screen saver, in the drop-down list, click Photos. (In some versions that is listed as Slide Show) Click Settings to choose the folder you want used by your slide show and select other options. After you make your changes, for example how long a period of inactivity will turn it on, whether you demand a password when coming back, how long each picture is supposed to stay on, etc. click Save. Click OK. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband "Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Walmart?" "Just an educated guess." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Soothing a Sore Throat This remedy was given to me by an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor. To get immediate relief of a sore throat, eat Fritos Corn chips and eat popsicles. You cannot gargle enough to reach all the way down the throat that is sore. I get a bag of Fritos and some popsicles and keep them in the freezer until needed. It is not scratchy like you think they would be. Also you can dissolve a chicken bullion cube in cup of water in the microwave and drink when it cools. By patricia laubscher [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Pat in Oz The weather was very hot and pastor Fred wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. Having forgotten to pack a swimming suit, he chose to skinny dip. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of middle-aged ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He strategically positioned the bucket and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said: "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds." "Impossible," said the embarrassed pastor. "You can't really know what I think!" She said: "Yes, I do know. Right now I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom." ___________________________________________________
Instagram husband (for the record, this was shot in Springfield, Missouri, and David was in Skinny Improv with this guy - 4,000,000+ views in one day!)
____________________________________________________ A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. "But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it." "This is my position, and I will not compromise!" ____________________________________________________ "I understand, Doctor, that many husbands snore," said the young wife, "but you've got to help me stop mine. He's a ventriloquist and snores on both sides of me at the same time!" ____________________________________________________
Annual compilation of the Best of People Are Awesome for 2015.

Today, December 31, in
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of 
 Good Hope, where they would later create the South African 
 wine industry with the vines they took with them on the 
 voyage. 
1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted 
 in many windows being bricked up. 
1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army generals 
 Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. Montgomery was 
 killed in the battle. 
1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the capital 
 of Canada. 
1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of 
 incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. 
1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis 
 Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive numbers 
 of arrivals. 
1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben. 
1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne" 
 as a New Year's Eve song for the first time. 
1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of 
 hostilities in World War II. 
1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to earn 
 more than one billion dollars in a single year. 
1960 The farthing coin, which had been in use in Great Britain 
 since the 13th century, ceased to be legal tender. 
1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold 
 for the first time in more than 40 years. 
1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final 
 time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event 
 marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S. 
1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the start 
 of 1979. 
1986 A fire at the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico, 
 killed 97 and injured 140 people. Three hotel workers later 
 pled guilty to charges in connection with the fire. 
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister 
 Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. 
1999 Five hijackers left the airport where they had been holding 
 150 hostages on an Indian Airlines plane. They left with two 
 Islamic clerics that they had demanded be freed from an Indian 
 prison. The plane had been hijacked during a flight from Katmandu, 
 Nepal to New Dehli on December 24. 
1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the world's 
 oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 
2004 In Taiwan, the Taipei 101 skyscraper opened to the public. 
2015  smiled.


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Problem installing screensavers 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 30

Thank you, Lillemor and Gene!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Wisconsin reading teacher arrested for having sex with her 16-year-old student 12 times at high school Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1853 The United States bought about 45,000 square miles of land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase. History ______________________________________________________ If the fans don't wanna come out to the ballpark, no one can stop 'em. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. --- George Carlin (1937 - 2008) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is part of the log from the Tech Support Pits 20 years ago: CALLER: How come I get your Humor Letter a whole bunch of times every day ? DearWebby: How many different addresses do you have? CALLER: Oh, I got lots! DearWebby: Well, Ma'am, when somebody likes you, they might give you a gift subscription to the Humor Letter, and naturally they would give it to you at the address they normally use to write to you. You can do the same. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! You mean, the more gift subscriptions I get, the more friends I have ? DearWebby: Yes, and it also reminds you of how many addresses you have. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! I love this stuff! DearWebby: If you like somebody, you can give them a gift subscription. It's free. CALLER: How do I do that ? DearWebby: There is a link for that at the bottom of the Humor Letter. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! I can get even more friends that way! They will probably get me a new gift subscription too if I use a different address for each of them. That is tooo COOL! .....But, ....do I have to read each of them when I get so many? DearWebby: No, not really. Just read those from your best friends and imagine they are reading it to you. CALLER: That is tooo COOL! You are cool! Thanks! ---------- Nowadays if you give somebody a gift subscription, they have to approve. If they don't, they won't get one. ______________________________________________________ A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra. Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her. "What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues. She replied, "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by April Novak, 30, Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin
Wisconsin reading teacher arrested for having sex with her 16-year-old student 12 times at high school A Milwaukee-area high school reading teacher had sex with a 16-year-old male student in her classroom a dozen times, officials said. April Novak, 30, was charged with 12 felony counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff Tuesday, a day after her husband filed for divorce, according to court documents cited by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. Novak resigned from her job as a reading interventionist at Menomonee Falls High School after police opened an investigation earlier this month, officials with the School District of Menomonee Falls said. April Novak, 30, is charged with 12 felony counts of sexual assault of a student by school staff. Another teacher at the school alerted school administrators Dec. 11, after seeing Novak and the teen embracing and possibly kissing in her classroom, according to her arresting documents. Investigators believe the pair shared intercourse and oral sex on school grounds starting in the middle of October. Novak told detectives she understood the teen was underage but said they had “very strong feelings for each other,” the documents said. Police said she and the teen had agreed to keep their relationship a secret. Novak, who started working at the school in August 2013, was incarcerated on a $100,000 bail, according to the Journal Sentinel. She’ll face up to six years behind bars and a fine of up to $10,000 for each count of sexual assault if she’s convicted.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: Can't install screensaver Dear Webby, I have windows7 and my screen saver will open but I can't installl any saver.any clue? DJ Dear DJ That is probably good. Almost all screen savers nowadays have some adware or malware attached. Just use the built in slide show screen saver, and let it cycle through your vast stash of well dressed ladies, ahem I mean nuns and prayers. That is safe, and easier on your eyes anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Having trouble with the doctor's notes on an emergency case which read, "Shot in the lumbar region," the new girl was flustered and at her wit's end. At last she thought she had it figured out and brightened up as she typed up the record, "Wounded in the woods." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Vac to Defrost a Box Freezer I use a clean shop vac to remove all the water that melts when I defrost our large box freezer. The shop vac is quick and gets into corners where I can't reach. All I have to do then is dry the freezer and replace the food. Source: I thought of this when I was in a hurry and the freezer needed defrosting. By Iluv2nit [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One night while Sue was cat-sitting her daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, Sue found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, she called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When Sue persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough." How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said. Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast. ___________________________________________________
Instagram husband (for the record, this was shot in Springfield, Missouri, and David was in Skinny Improv with this guy - 4,000,000+ views in one day!)
____________________________________________________ The CEO was scheduled to give the keynote address at an important convention so he asked one of his top employees to write a punchy, 20 minute speech for him. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour long speech?!" he demanded. "Half the audience walked out before I was finished." George was baffled. "I wrote you a 20 minute speech," he replied. I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for." ____________________________________________________ Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. "Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?" "Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I made it risk." ____________________________________________________
This Golden Eagle bit off more than he could chew.

Today, December 30, in
1460 At the Battle of Wakefield, in England's Wars of the 
 Roses, the Duke of York was defeated and killed by the 
 Lancastrians. 
1853 The United States bought about 45,000 square miles of 
 land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase. 
1880 The Transvaal was declared a republic. Paul Kruger became 
 its first president. 
1887 A petition to Queen Victoria with over one million names 
 of women appealing for public houses to be closed on Sundays 
 was handed to the home secretary. 
1903 About 600 people died when fire broke out at the Iroquois 
 Theater in Chicago, IL. 
1922 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) was formed. 
1924 Edwin Hubble announced the existence of other galactic systems. 
1927 The first subway in the Orient was dedicated in Tokyo, Japan. 
1935 Italian bombers destroyed a Sweedish Red Cross unit in Ethiopia. 
1936 The United Auto Workers union staged its first sit-down strike, 
 at the Fisher Body Plant in Flint, MI. 
1940 California's first freeway was officially opened. It was the 
 Arroyo Seco Parkway connecting Los Angeles and Pasadena. 
1944 King George II of Greece proclaimed a regency to rule his 
 country, virtually renouncing the throne. 
1947 King Michael of Romania abdicated in favor of a Communist 
 Republic. He claimed he was forced from his throne. 
1953 The first color TV sets went on sale for about $1,175. 
1972 The United States halted its heavy bombing of North Vietnam. 
1993 Israel and the Vatican established diplomatic relations. 
1996 A passenger train was bombed by Bodo separatists in India's 
 eastern state of Assam. At least 26 people were killed and dozens 
 were seriously injured. 
1996 About 250,000 striking workers shut down vital services 
 across Israel in protests against budget cuts proposed by Prime 
 Minister Netanyahu. 
1997 More than 400 people were massacred in four villages in the 
 single worst incident during Algeria's insurgency.
2015  smiled.


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Block all Nigerian emails 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Virginia woman was arrested after being reported as dead by child Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1170 St. Thomas ŕ Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting on Henry II's orders. History ______________________________________________________ We are the people our parents warned us about. --- Jimmy Buffett Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963), ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Peter: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and ask him if he's married? Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. -------------------------- Peter: Why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. ______________________________________________________ Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do? A: Make him bark? ______________________________________________________ I used to feature that picture as "Alaskans praying for spring". Now Moe corrected me. It's a new Alaskan sect. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver.com An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jennifer Lee Patrick, 32, Crimora, Virginia
Virginia woman was arrested after being reported as dead by child A Crimora woman is facing a felony charge for assault and battery of a police officer after officials say she received treatment for taking "several" prescription drugs. First responders found Jennifer Lee Patrick, 32, at a carwash after her 5-year-old son walked into a Waynesboro restaurant and told the customers there he thought she was dead. Waynesboro police say the boy had walked from Pinky’s Car Wash, 105 East Ave., to Weise’s Kitchen, 130 East Broad St., on Tuesday seeking help for his mother who was in a vehicle with his 6-year-old brother. When found, Patrick was unconscious but alive. The Waynesboro First Aid Crew revived Patrick, who was "highly impaired and incoherent," said Waynesboro Police Sgt. Brian Edwards Patrick allegedly told police she had taken several prescription pills. An officer arrested Patrick after notifying child protective services, charging her with misdemeanor public intoxication and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The children were released into the care of their father. The officer then took Patrick to Augusta Health to be evaluated, but while waiting to be examined she “became difficult to manage,” kicking the officer and attempting to free herself from custody, Edwards said. According to a press release, medical personnel later examined and discharged Patrick from Augusta Health. “While the officer was escorting Patrick to his police car, Patrick continued to flail, causing her pants to fall down,” Edwards said. “She also grabbed the officer’s Taser and tried to un-holster it.” The officer attempted to stun the woman with the Taser, which Edwards said had no effect on the woman, causing the officer to use physical force to gain control of Patrick and place her in his vehicle. Patrick was charged with felony assault and battery of a law enforcement officer and a misdemeanor charge of obstruction of justice following the incident at Augusta Health, Edwards said.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Paul Re: Block Nigeria? Dear Webby, Would it be a good idea to block any mail, that mentions Nigeria? Pauline Dear Pauline It would be easy to do, but is not a good idea. If you do that, and your daughter sends you an email telling you about a Nigerian scam mail, it would getr blocked too. And similar scams, that don't mention Nigeria, would get through. It is much safer to tell Mailwasher to flag mails, that contain ".doc" and ".docx", for deleting. If they are just flagged for deleting, you still hav a chance to let them through if they are legit. It COULD happen that a friend sends you an email that contains Gramma's experiments with Microsoft Word. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The band class was just getting under way when a large insect flew into the room. The sixth-graders, eager to play their shiny new instruments, tried to ignore the buzzing intruder, but eventually one student, Tommy, could stand it no more. He rolled up his music book and swatted the insect, then he stomped on it to ensure its fate. "Is it a bee?" another student asked. "Nope," Tommy replied. "Bee flat." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Key Wind Chime Take some old keys from long forgotten or lost padlocks, wrecked and binned suitcases, your granny's replaced wooden front door, and the key to untold riches which never quite fitted the lock and make them bright and colorful. Tie them and hang them to make beautiful music when the cold windy weather would otherwise make you miserable. Supplies: an old stick, twig of a tree, a pencil, or a chopstick gorgeous ribbons and braids acrylic paint and a brush or nail varnish/polish Steps: Paint your keys. Nail varnish will work better than acrylic paint. You will need much patience waiting for several coats to dry. See how I have recycled breakfast cereal packaging to protect my work surface. This has a feel good effect even if it doesn't do much to save the planet. Tie ribbons and braids to the keys Tie the other ends to your stick I used a spent raspberry cane which worked nicely. Tie a final cord for hanging Dangle and enjoy. By ShirleyE [47] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A firefighter is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little Red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a Firefighter's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The firefighter says, "Hey, little girl, whatcha doing?" The little girl says, "I'm pretending to be a firefighter, and this is my fire truck!" The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl, that sure is a nice fire truck!" the firefighter says. "Thanks, mister," says the little girl. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the tow rope to the dog's collar and the rein to the dog's testicles. "Little girl," says the firefighter, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that second rope around the dog's neck, I think you could go faster." The little girl says, "You're probably right, mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!" ___________________________________________________
cat nurses ducklings
____________________________________________________ A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the end of it. She is so beautiful he cannot take his mind off her, so he calls the bartender over and says, "Take that woman a drink on me." The bartender says, "It won't work." "What do you mean, it won't work?" "That woman," says the barkeep, "is a hard-hearted bitch. You won't get nowhere with her - nobody does!" "Okay," says the guy. "How about this: you got any Spanish fly?" "Spanish fly? No," says the bartender, "I've got Jewish Fly." "So, what the heck is Jewish fly?" "I don't know; I've never used it. You want to give it a try?" "Yes," says the guy, and the next chance he gets, on his way to the men's room, he reaches behind her back and drops the stuff in the woman's drink. Nothing happens for a long time, but then all of a sudden he feels her body close against his, and her voice is whispering hotly in his ear, and she's saying "I can't stand it anymore! .......You excite me so much... take me shopping!" ____________________________________________________ A young officer is working late at the Pentagon one evening. As he comes out of his office about 8pm he sees a General standing by the classified document shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand. "Do you know how to work this thing?" the General asks. "My secretary's gone home and I don't know how to run it." "Yes, sir," says the young officer, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the General, and feeds it in. (PAUSE) "Now," says the General, "I just need one copy." ____________________________________________________
Amazing haircuts for horses.

Today, December 29, in
1170 St. Thomas ŕ Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, 
 was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting on 
 Henry II's orders. 
1812 The USS Constitution won a battle with the British ship 
 HMS Java about 30 miles off the coast of Brazil. Before 
 Commodore William Bainbridge ordered the sinking of the 
 Java he had her wheel removed to replace the one the 
 Constitution had lost during the battle. 
1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812. 
1837 Canadian militiamen destroyed the Caroline, a U.S. 
 steamboat docked at Buffalo, NY. 
1848 U.S. President James Polk turned on the first gas light 
 at the White House. 
1860 The HMS Warrior, Britain's first seagoing iron-hulled 
 warship, was launched. 
1888 The first performance of Macbeth took place at the 
 Lyceum Theatre. 
1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 unarmed men, 
 women and children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. after they had 
 been persuaded to hand over all weapons. This was the last 
 major battle between Indians and U.S. troops. 
1911 Sun Yat-sen became the first president of a 
 Republican China. 
1940 During World War II, Germany began dropping incendiary 
 bombs on London. 
1945 Sheb Wooley recorded the first commercial record made in 
 Nashville, TN. 
1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered for sale 
 by Sonotone Corporation. 
1975 A bomb exploded in the main terminal of New York's 
 LaGuardia Airport. 11 people were killed. 
1986 The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, FL, reopened for business 
 after eighteen years and $47 million expended on restoration. 
1989 Following Hong Kong's decision to forcibly repatriate some 
 Vietnamese refugees, thousands of Vietnamese 'boat people' 
 battled with riot police. 
1996 The Guatemalan government and leaders of the leftist Guatemalan 
 National Revolutionary Union signed a peace accord in Guatemala 
 City, ending a civil war that had lasted 36 years. 
1997 Hong Kong began killing 1.25 million chickens, the entire 
 population, for fear of the spread of 'bird flu.' 
1998 Khmer Rouge leaders apologized for the 1970s genocide in 
 Cambodia that claimed 1 million lives. 
2015  smiled.


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FedEx emails 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Moday, December 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Naked burglar hits home owner's friend with getaway vehicle Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor. (14 years after Hagar, the Horrible's Grandfather started a colony in Newfoundland, Canada) History ______________________________________________________ It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that things are difficult. --- Seneca In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves. --- R. A. Butler (1902 - 1982) ----------- The same applies if you pull ahead of the pack. ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything. The woman often ended the arguments by stating vociferously, “I'll dance on your grave ... I'll dance on your grave!” Sure enough, the man died first. His last request? … To be buried at sea. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Last summer, John took Jill camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore. One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. John tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (There was no moss.), direction of the sun (It was an overcast day). Just as he was beginning to panic, John spotted a small cabin off in the distance. John pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned, and led them right back to the campsite. "That was terrific," Jill said. "How did you do it?" "Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country all satellite dishes point south." ______________________________________________________ There was a gentleman in the hospital bed next to me. He was covered with bandages from head to toe. I said to him, "What do you do for a living?" He said, "I'm a former window washer." I asked, "When did you give it up?" He said, "Oh, about halfway down." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam Pettibone, 28, Auburn, California
Naked burglar hits home owner's friend with getaway vehicle Police in California are trying to determine why a man was naked in frigid temperatures when he entered a home and stole a purse. Auburn police say the homeowner's boyfriend then chased 28-year-old Adam Pettibone on Friday night before Pettibone got into an SUV and drove off. Sgt. Tucker Huey says Pettibone struck the boyfriend with the SUV. The boyfriend declined medical treatment. Auburn is about 30 miles northeast of Sacramento. The temperature dipped into the 30s Friday. Police say they found the SUV a short distance away in front of a home where Pettibone was. They booked him at Placer County Jail on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon and burglary. He is being held on $250,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Estelle Re: FedEx Dear Webby, I got this email from FedEx Express, with an attachment. I am forwarding it to you. Is it safe to open? At the bottom it has: This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active. https://www.avast.com/antivirus FedEx Express®.docx FedEx Express®.docx Estelle Dear Estelle MailWasher dumped your email. Apparently it objected to the crap in the phony doc, and possibly also to the fact, that the email came from Nigeria. I had a good laugh about it: Dispatched Officer: Mr. Bob Morris E-mail: fe.dexdispatchservice@hotmail.com Contact Phone number: (+234 8022378598) The real fedEx does not use a +234 phone number. They use a 1- 800 number. And they most defiitely don't use a ho'mail address. The FROM address claims to be From: "FedEx Express®" Hilarious! And they want you to send them $180 ! And they don't even use your name, just "Customer" ! The line about Avast is totally phony too. Anybody can add that to an email. Carefully delete the attached docx file, and dump that email. If you click on that docx file, it will most likely unleash a virus hidden in macros. Just delete it, and then delete it out of the Recycle bin, so that it can never be restored. In the future, if you see an email from Nigeria or thereabouts, promising ridiculous amounts of money and requesting money from you, dump it. The same goes for doc and docx attachments. Dump them. If a friend sends an email with a doc or docx attachment, question them why, and tell them, if the content is clean and does not require a virus carrier, to just paste it into email, just like the grown-ups do. Eventually they will get the hint. If they want to create a special song and dance with their info, tell them to lock it in a PDF file. PDF is fairly safe, and hopefully, they will get the hint, that anything other than regular email is not appreciated. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ "Get this." said a guy to his friends, "Last night, while I was down here at the bar with you guys, a burglar broke into my house. "Did he get anything?" his friends asked. "Yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. Susan thought it was me coming home drunk." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Key Wind Chime Take some old keys from long forgotten or lost padlocks, wrecked and binned suitcases, your granny's replaced wooden front door, and the key to untold riches which never quite fitted the lock and make them bright and colorful. Tie them and hang them to make beautiful music when the cold windy weather would otherwise make you miserable. Supplies: an old stick, twig of a tree, a pencil, or a chopstick gorgeous ribbons and braids acrylic paint and a brush or nail varnish/polish Steps: Paint your keys. Nail varnish will work better than acrylic paint. You will need much patience waiting for several coats to dry. See how I have recycled breakfast cereal packaging to protect my work surface. This has a feel good effect even if it doesn't do much to save the planet. Tie ribbons and braids to the keys Tie the other ends to your stick I used a spent raspberry cane which worked nicely. Tie a final cord for hanging Dangle and enjoy. By ShirleyE [47] If you want a louder and deeper sound, use the empty cores of Christmas wrapping. Make a trough by draping clear plastic between two 2x4's or any boards or books, so that a core can be partially immersed in the trough, after you dump some flour and water glue, or varnish or paint into the trough. You don't have to immerse the whole roll, a quarter of it is enough. Just roll it to wet all of it, then hang it up to dry overnight. After weatherproofing it like that, you can paint it white or chrome and then fake a candy-apple coat by mixing a bit of color with varnish. Hang your tubes with dental-floss and enjoy a deep, relaxing bass wind chime. You can, of course, tune the tubes by shortening some of them. Don't bother using a tuning fork. Just a small difference will make a pleasant melody. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob and Nancy had a huge argument. They ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, Bob asked where one of his shirts was. "Oh," she said, "now you're speaking to me." He looked confused, "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?" she challenged. "No," he said, "I just, thought you were finished with arguing and we were getting along again." ___________________________________________________
peacock spider
____________________________________________________ A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids." ____________________________________________________ A son comes home from the Army. After a few hours, he finally gets to talk to his father alone behind the barn. "So, son, what did the Army teach you?" asked the father. "Well, they taught me how to kill people," said the son. "With what?" asked father. "We used all kinds of things, like guns and knives, but my favorite was the grenade," said the son. "What's a grenade?" asked the father. "Well, I brought one home to show you. You just pull this pin out and throw it as far as you can," said the son. The son proceeded to give a demonstration. Lo and behold, the son throws the grenade on top of the outhouse. KABOOM!!! The outhouse is demolished. All the lumber and everything else lands in a heap in the yard. Grandpa sticks his head out of the pile and says, 'Whew, glad I didn't let THAT one loose in the house!"' ____________________________________________________
Fascinating light painting photography.

Today, December 28, in
1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the Confessor.
 (14 years after Hagar, the Horrible's Grandfather started a 
 colony in Newfoundland, Canada)
1694 Queen Mary II of England died after five years of joint rule 
 with her husband, King William III. 
1732 "The Pennsylvania Gazette," owned by Benjamin Franklin, ran 
 an ad for the first issue of "Poor Richard’s Almanack." 
1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain. 
1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an acceptable 
 chewing gum. 
1877 John Stevens applied for a patent for his flour-rolling mill, 
 which boosted production by 70%. 
1879 In Dundee, Scotland the central portion of the Tay Bridge 
 collapsed as a train was passing over it. 75 people were killed. 
1895 In Paris, the first commercial public screening of 
 cinematographic films took place. 
1897 "Cyrano de Bergerac," the play by Edmond Rostand, premiered 
 in Paris, France. 
1902 The first professional indoor football game was played at 
 Madison Square Garden in New York City. Syracuse defeated the 
 Philadelphia Nationals 6-0. 
1908 An earthquake killed over 75,000 at Messina in Sicily. 
1912 The first municipally-owned street cars were used on the 
 streets of San Francisco, CA. 
1917 The New York Evening Mail published a facetious essay by 
 H.L. Mencken on the history of bathtubs in America. 
1926 The highest recorded cricket innings score of 1,107 runs 
 was hit by Victoria, against New South Wales, in Melbourne. 
1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland when 
 a new constitution established the country as a sovereign 
 state under the name of Eire. 
1945 The U.S. Congress officially recognized the 
 "Pledge of Allegiance." 
1964 Initial filming of the movie "Dr. Zhivago" began on 
 location near Madrid, Spain. The movies total running time 
 is 197 minutes. 
1973 The Chamber of Commerce of Akron, OH, terminated its 
 association with the All-American Soap Box Derby. It was 
 stated that the race had become "a victim of cheating and fraud." 
1973 Alexander Solzhenitsyn published "Gulag Archipelago," 
 an expose of the Soviet prison system. 
1981 Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American test-tube baby, 
 was born in Norfolk, VA. 
1982 Nevell Johnson Jr. was mortally wounded by a police officer in 
 a Miami video arcade. The event set off three days of race related 
 disturbances that left another man dead. 
1989 Alexander Dubcek, who had been expelled from the Communist 
 Party in 1970, was elected speaker of the Czech parliament. 
1991 Nine people died in a rush to get into a basketball game at 
 City College in New York. 
1995 Pressure from German prosecutors investigating pornography 
 forced CompuServe to set a precedent by blocking access to sex-
 oriented newsgroups on the Internet for its customers. 
2000 U.S. District Court Judge Matsch held a hearing to ensure 
 that confessed Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh understood 
 that he was dropping his appeals. McVeigh said that he wanted 
 an execution date set, but wanted to reserve the right to seek 
 presidential clemency. 
2015  smiled.


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More postcards 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, December 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida inmate gets new charges prior to release from prison Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 27, in 1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor bottles that could be seen. History ______________________________________________________ The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. --- Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881) ______________________________________________________ When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!" "Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?" the manager asked. "That's the one!" That's great!" the manager cried, "I thought we'd never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand bandaged?" "Oh," the clerk replied, "after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye guide dog bit me." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A History professor was explaining how society's ideal of beauty changes with time. "Take Miss America in 1921," he noted. "She stood 5'1" tall, weighed 108 pounds, and had measurements of 30-29-32. How do you think she'd do in today's beauty contest?" "One student piped up, "Not very well! She'd be way too old!" ______________________________________________________ Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Tyler Emens, 27, Clermont, Florida
Florida inmate gets new charges prior to release from prison A prisoner at Lake Correctional Institution was allegedly caught with synthetic marijuana he reportedly obtained during visitation hours. Joshua Tyler Emens, 27, who was slated to be released on Jan. 1, was hit with new charges Wednesday for possession of a controlled substance and possession of contraband at a state prison. He was taken to the Lake County Jail on the charges and is being held without bond. According to an arrest affidavit, Emens was visiting with his mother, Stacy Rodriguez, at the Clermont prision. He was searched by guards upon leaving the restroom and 43 grams of synthetic marijuana were found in a sandwich bag wrapped in black electrical tape in his back pocket. The affidavit adds Emens later claimed that another inmate named “Hotboy” gave him the drugs during the visitation with the promise of $50 to move it into the compound. Emens was sentenced to two years and six months in prison in March 2014 in Orange County after being convicted of grand theft, trafficking in stolen property and giving false information to a pawnbroker, according to the Florida D epartment of Corrections.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: More Postcards Dear Webby, Duh, I missed that, and I've had http://dawna.com bookmarked for years, totally forgot about it and drew a complete blank - thanks! Bonnie Dear Bonnie There is also a very nice and very elegant card site at http://silverteacup.com/ If you like animations, try Yana's http://www.actioncat.com Yana created the famous cat unrolling the toilet paper animation about 20 years ago. There are of course hundreds more animations on her site. Another famous card site is Cards By Mouse at http://mouse.webby.com/ Mouse does not use a page editor. She writes everything by hand, and just quietly keeps adding more cards all the time. She stopped counting at 2000 about five years ago. Nobody knows how many she has by now. Bettye at Spirit Scents has Native themed cards, LOTS of them. Spirit Scents Another huge site is Cyberkisses.com at http://www.cyberkisses.com/ If love and / or kisses are on your mind, that ist the site to go to. Anything from tender sweet to hilariously smart-ass. There are lots more, of course, but these should keep you busy for some time. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ===From Harold I love the Humor Letter and only wish you would send out the Sunday issue a bit earlier. You wouldn't believe how much inspiration I get from it and how much I borrow from it when I write the sermons for our pastors! Harold F.=== ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon Juice Ice Pack I re-purposed an empty Jif Lemon juice container for a handy ice-pack. I suffered for a long time with nose bleeds due to a perforation and I found the shape of the Jif bottle was ergonomically shaped to keep the bridge of my nose cold thus stopping the bleeding. It's also handy for other uses such as on bruises and 'boo-boo's'! Just refill the container with water and keep in your freezer. If you collect a few of them, you can a lso pop them into pitchers without watering down your drinks (as ice does) and they look appealing too! Source: My own By Monique [108] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!" ___________________________________________________
dogs annoying cats with friendship
____________________________________________________ Anni was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale." "I'm sure the old boy'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains," her friend replied. "Maybe," said Anni. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set." ____________________________________________________ A teacher asked one of her students, "What's the nation's capital?" The student said, "Washington DC." When asked what the 'DC' stood for, the student said, "Dot Com." ____________________________________________________
As Lillie Jo said "This is some serious talent here! WOW!!"

Today, December 27, in
1703 The Methuen Treaty was signed between Portugal and England, 
 giving preference to the import of Portuguese wines into England. 
1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard 
 the HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage helped 
 him form the basis of his theories on evolution. 
1845 Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth 
 for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child 
 in Jefferson, GA. 
1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey 
 Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor 
 bottles that could be seen. 
1904 James Barrie's play "Peter Pan" premiered in London. 
1927 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party. 
1938 The first skimobile course in America opened in 
 North Conway, NH. 
1945 The World Bank was created with an agreement signed 
 by 28 nations. 
1949 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty 
 to Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule. 
1951 In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a steering 
 wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle of its kind 
 to be placed in service for mail delivery. 
1965 The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with 
 the loss of 13 lives. 
1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy 
 after 40 years of dictatorship. 
1979 Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak Karmal 
 succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was overthrown and 
 executed. 
1985 Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and 
 Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, including 
 five of the attackers, who were slain by police and security 
 personnel. 
1992 The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the 
 Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi 
 warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace over 
 southern Iraq. 
1996 Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces retook the strategic 
 air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer zone around Kabul, 
 the Afghanistan capital. 
1997 In Northern Ireland, Billy Wright was assassinated. He was 
 imprisoned as a Protestant paramilitary leader. 
2000 Mario Lemeiux (Pittsburgh Penguins) returned to the National 
 Hockey League (NHL) as a player after over 3 years of retirement. 
 He was the first owner-player in the modern era of pro sports. 
 Lemieux had purchased the Pittsburgh Penguins during his retirement 
 from playing. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent normal 
 trade status with the United States. 
2002 North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the country 
 and said that it would restart a laboratory capable of producing 
 plutonium for nuclear weapons. 
2002 In Chechnya, at least 40 people were killed when suicide bombers 
 attacked the administartion of Grozny.
2015  smiled.


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What are Postcard Sites 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 26

Thank You, Richard!
Thank you, Josef!

-25 C, -10 F
Amazing, when I was living in the Yukon, that was just
"refreshing". Perfect for chopping firewood by moon light,
or snowblowing my road with the Kubota, or logging and 
hauling trees with the dogs. 

Now that same temperature is two classes colder: 
Quite chilly!

I went for my walk anyway. It was beautiful walking in the
bright moonlight on the noisy snow and admiring the multitude
of stars. It would have been perfect if some lady old enough
to be out after dark were walking with me. Oh, well.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 26, in 1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. History ______________________________________________________ Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ >From the 1995 Tech Support Pits >From Trisha Trisha: I had run across the term cyber sex a few times lately, so I decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the computer, so I started trying to find the sex drive on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on the My Computer section, the add/uninstall software, install hardware part of the control panel then I got out all the manuals and went through them. I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one. So I decided to go to the computer store and see if I could buy one. I wanted to look intelligent and scholarly, so I wore my math hat. Well, the salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking woman. I gave her the make and model of my computer and asked her if she had any sex drives in stock. She kinda scowled at me and asked me if I was trying to get smart with her. Then she said, rather rudely I thought, that she couldn't help me and walked away. HUH, must not have had any in stock. In the second store, I gave the salesperson the make and model of my computer and asked if they had any sex drives in stock. He kind of snickered and asked if I meant a hard drive. I thought about it for a minute and told him yeah, maybe that, but I think I should already have one installed. He started laughing at me said something about me trying to kill him. "You're killing me!" Something like that and walked away. Hmmmm, must be out here too. Must be hard to keep in stock I wasn't trying to kill him I wasn't even hurting him. The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I'd just fallen off the turnip truck. I assured him I'd never been on a turnip truck, but I'd fallen off the manure wagon a few times. He mumbled something about that explaining it and walked away laughing. The guy in the fourth store said something like, "boob" under his breath and walked away. Wonder why he only noticed one? Anyway I figured they must not carry them in stores maybe have to order from a catalog or something. So that's why I am writing you for help. I'm sure you tech support people can help me locate my sex drive, and I would appreciate it if you would also help me figure out what to do with it. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. "It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..." "This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my sister will appreciate it." "Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry." ______________________________________________________ Jill suggested a book to her husband to read to enhance their relationship. It's entitled, 'Women are From Venus, Men Are Wrong.'" ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kyle Damato-Kushel, 45, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Connecticut teacher's aide arrested for 2-year affair with student. A married 45-year-old teacher's aide has been accused of having a sexual relationship for more than two years with a 15-year-old boy, whom she had once taught in preschool. Kyle Damato-Kushel, who worked at Wooster Middle School in Bridgeport, Connecticut, had allegedly been having sex with the victim since he was in the seventh grade. Her husband reportedly found out about the alleged illicit affair when he woke up to hear their voices inside their family home and, fearing it was an intruder, called the police. Police found her and the kid at it in the husban's den. Police say Damato-Kushel's DNA was found in the boy's underwear. They say the former aide offered the victim $900 if he didn't reveal their relationship. The teenager told police their first sexual encounter took place in Damato-Kushel's husband's man cave, The Connecticut Post reported. They had sex in a number of other places in their family home and in other places around the town of Stratford, police say. The victim allegedly got Damato-Kushel pregnant at one point but she had a miscarriage. Police say the victim told officers he had been having sex with Damato-Kushel since the summer of 2013. She was arraigned Monday on charges of sexual assault, impairing the morals of a child and tampering with a witness. She didn't enter a plea and went free on a $50,000 bond. Damato-Kushel declined comment as she left the courthouse. According to her Facebook page she has three daughters.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Postcards Dear Webby, OK, really dumb question. I note above that you do tech support for postcard sites. Um, what are those? Bonnie Dear Bonnie Check out the two I mentioned in the Humor Letter: Last minute Christmas Cards: Last minute Christmas Cards: Angelwinks Christmas menu If you want some not so pious cards, go to FlutterInn They are just free Internet postcards. You select a picture, write your message, enter sender and recipient address, and fire it off. Another one I use is my dad's: http://dawna.com Totally non-religious and not political. Just cactus and scenery pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A married couple were having a disagreement while sitting in bed. The wife said to her husband, "You're impossible," to which the husband replied, "No. I'm next to impossible." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Vaseline for Painting Around Moulding Painting the inside door moulding around the hinges is a job I've never relished because it's picky work. I always ended up getting paint on the hinges no matter how careful I was. It looked awful and needed scraping off when the paint was dry. My most recent paint job throughout the entire house has been so much easier, thanks to simple Vaseline. With a Q-tip, I smeared the hinge bracket full of Vaseline and painted away without worrying about getting paint where it didn't belong. When the paint was dry, I cleaned the hinge bracket with a paper towel and I had a hinge that looked brand new again. I'm thinking that this would work well when I do the window frames. No more taping and no more scraping paint off the glass. Sorry, I haven't got a picture available. We've just moved and I haven't found the camera yet. But I'm sure you can appreciate what I'm talking about, we've all been there. By Mina [25] Vaseline workd very well on hinges, but don't use it on windows! An old painter explained to me that for best sealing you a re supposed to paint about 1/8" onto the glass. To do that neatly, you have to either tape the glass or use a razor to peel the paint off the glass. Paint supply shops sell razors made just for that, with the blade inset the right amount for running it along frames. With metal frames that 1/8" paint might be redundant, but it definitely won't hurt. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,"Thou shall not kill." ___________________________________________________
OK Go - Here It Goes Again
____________________________________________________ Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "Why did you paint one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "When I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other." ____________________________________________________ Jack is making dinner I've seen it all before French fries black and burning And meatloaf on the floor Jack is making dinner The sugar bowl just broke Fido ate the gravy The house has filled with smoke Jack is making dinner But I'm not one to moan Soon he will surrender And go pick up the phone Jack made the dinner Today's my lucky day Dinner's in the trashcan And pizza's on the way! ____________________________________________________
Santa had a few mishaps!

Today, December 26, in
1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found 
 Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 
1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of 
 Trenton during the American Revolutionary War. 
1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 
1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 
1908 Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy 
 Burns in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer 
 to win the world heavyweight title. 
1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over 
 operation of the nation's railroads. 
1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing 
 dominion of Great Britain. 
1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the 
 North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 
1944 Tennessee Williams' play "The Glass Menagerie" was first 
 performed publicly, at the Civic Theatre in Chicago, IL. 
1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying 
 New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The 
 severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 
1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to 
 overthrow the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters 
 were killed. 
1982 The Man of the Year in "TIME" magazine was a computer. 
 It was the first time a non-human received the honors. 
1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country 
 out of existence. 
1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the 
 Palestinian Authority. 
1996 Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found beaten 
 and strangled in the basement of her family's home in 
 Boulder, CO. 
1998 Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British 
 warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 
2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was 
 made the December 27 by Clonaid. 
2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 
 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The 
 tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, 
 including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India.
2015  smiled.


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Recover PaytPal Password 



Merry Christmas, ,
Today is Friday, December 25
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Last minute Christmas Cards:
Angelwinks Christmas menu

If you want some not so pious cards, go to FlutterInn

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas teacher, who was arrested for messing with to boys. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 24, in 1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy. History ______________________________________________________ On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. --- George Orwell (1903 - 1950) Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) Being Politically Correct means Always Having to Say You're Sorry. --- Socratex Be bold in what you stand for; be careful in what you fall for. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Jill has her own version of money laundering. She cleans out everybody's pockets when she washes their pants. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The manager of our hospital's softball team I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season. When he walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, he passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist." ______________________________________________________ The young son of a Baptist minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time baptism by immersion. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub. The youngest kitten bore it very well, and so did the younger cat, but the old family tom cat rebelled. The old feline struggled with the boy, clawed his skin, and finally got away. With considerable effort the boy caught the old tom again and proceeded with the "ceremony." But the cat acted worse than ever, clawing and spitting, and scratching the boy's face. Finally, after barely getting the cat splattered with water, he dropped him on the floor in disgust and said: "Fine, Then be a Methodist!" ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Haeli Wey, Austin, Texas
Arrested for Texas teacher Haeli Wey was on a trip to Africa with the family of one of her students when she and the 17-year-old first became intimate, the teenager told police, according to an affidavit obtained by 48 Hours' Crimesider. Wey, a former math teacher at Westlake High School, in Austin, Texas, was arrested on Dec. 17 on two counts of felony improper relationship between educator and student, for a pair of alleged months-long relationships with teenage boys. Police say the alleged crimes occurred during the summer and fall of 2015. Under Texas law, it is illegal for teachers to have sex with students, even if they are over 17 years old, the state's legal age of consent. One victim allegedly told police he met Wey at a "student ministry program" in June, and that later in the summer she accompanied his family on a trip to Africa. "The victim said while in Africa his relationship with Ms. Wey become more personal and on a deeper level," a detective wrote in the affidavit. "The victim stated while in Africa their relationship became physical." The victim allegedly told police he had sex with Wey more than 10 times after the trip, but stopped the relationship after he heard a rumor that she went on a hike with the second alleged victim. Police say the first victim later told his parents about the relationship, and they contacted authorities. "There were a lot of rumors at school about (Wey and the second victim) 'hooking up,'" a detective wrote, adding that the teen at first denied the rumors, which were fueled by alleged Instagram messages between the two. The second victim said Wey invited him on a hike, which lasted about two hours, before they allegedly went to a secluded area and had sexual contact. The victim, asked by a detective if he expected to have sex on the hike, allegedly said yes, and added, "a teacher just doesn't hang out with a student just to hang out." The affidavits also allege that Wey tried to keep the relationships under wraps, at one point instructing the second victim on how to erase their conversations. "Delete our convo (sic) from Instagram please and don't let anyone get a hold of ur (sic) phone," she allegedly texted the victim. And to the first victim, after finding out about the police report, she allegedly asked, "What did you tell them?" And, "Why did you tell them?" Wey was released on bond and is scheduled to appear in court on January 7.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cay Re: Lost PayPal Password Dear Webby, Very clear PayPal instructions, but you need to tell the writer to put the password somewhere it can be accessed. I neglected to do that several years ago so now I cannot get into my account. They won't let me open a new account, either. Cay from FL🍠Dear Cay! You are right! Tattoo the password into the ear of the cat or dog or hubby. It wouldn't do to get the free RoboForm, that I have recommended since the days when you were jail bait. It is still at http://roboform.com and it's still free. To reset your PayPal password, go to http://snipurl.com/resetpaypal Spread your window as wide as your neighbor's rear end to make sure that link does not line-wrap. Enter your email address, the one you used in the days before you forgot the password. Enter the Squiggly code Hit continue After you reset your password, put it into RoboForm, or tattoo it into the ear of your cat or dog or hubby. By the way, you can even recover your email address there. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Bad spelers of the world untie! ============================================ That reminds me.... I also do tech support for all the postcard sites. Here is a goodie from today: lucyann: when i send the postcard nun of the words i but on it are there. Hi Lucyann Try selecting a different font color that is not the same as the background color. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Merry Meringues A wonderfully light, easy, low calorie Christmas treat to make. Approximate Time: 2 hours, including cool time Yield: 5 dozen Ingredients: 1/2 cup sugar 1/2 cup powdered sugar 1 tsp cream of tartar dash salt 1 tsp vanilla 4 egg whites, room tempurature 1 tsp cinnamon Steps: These are possible without an electric mixer, but so much easier with! Beat the egg whites and salt until soft peaks form (about 3 minutes on high). Add in sugars, salt, vanilla and cinnamon a little bit at a time. Beat on high for about 6 minutes or until glossy peaks form. Preheat oven to 250 F. Drop by teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheets (you'll need 4*) and bake for 50 minutes. Turn the oven OFF. Keep the cookies in the oven as it cools, for at least an hour. No peeking! Makes about 5 dozen cookies. Yummy! *You may want to half the recipe if you don't have enough sheets. These need to bake all in one batch. By Rae G. [22] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jill has her own version of money laundering. She cleans out everybody's pockets when she washes their pants. ___________________________________________________
The Christmas story
____________________________________________________ An airline customer service agent, received a call from a lady who wanted to know if she could take her dog on board. The agent told her the dog was welcome, as long as she paid a $50 charge and provided her own kennel. The agent further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around and roll over. Then the lady said, "I will never be able to teach him all that by tomorrow!" and hung up. ____________________________________________________ As the bus pulled away, Jane realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later she called the company and was relieved that the driver had found her bag. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded her. One man handed her the empty purse, six typewritten pages and a bushel box containing the contents of her purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything back into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it." ____________________________________________________
Star Wars Christmas light show.

Today, December 25, in
0800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor
 in Rome by Pope Leo III. 
1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England. 
1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first 
 Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy. 
1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the 
 Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian 
 forces at Trenton, NJ. 
1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, 
 at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. 
1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional 
 pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion 
 that resulted in the Civil War. 
1896 John Philip Sousa finally titled the melody 
 "The Stars and Stripes Forever." 
1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed 
 an unofficial truce and even playing football together on 
 the Western Front. 
1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death 
 of his father Emperor Taisho. 
1930 The Mt. Van Hoevenberg bobsled run at Lake Placid, 
 New York opened to the public. It was the first bobsled 
 track of international specifications to open in the U.S. 
1939 "A Christmas Carol," by Charles Dickens, was read on 
 CBS radio for the first time. 
1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese. 
1946 W.C. Fields died at the age of 66. 
1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, DC, 
 recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188,000,000. 
1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake. 
 Over 10,000 people were killed. 
1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war 
 and protect USSR interests. 
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, 
 Elena, were executed following a popular uprising. 
1998 Seven days into their journey, Richard Branson, Steve Fossett 
 and Per Lindstrand of Sweden gave up their attempt to make the first 
 nonstop round-the-world balloon flight. They ditched near Hawaii. 
2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by fire 
 at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. The incident 
 occurred at the Dongdu Disco.
2015  smiled.


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How to send money with PayPal  




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 24

Time to panick and / or wrap!

Last minute Christmas Cards:
Angelwinks Christmas menu

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 23, in 1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Germany composed the music for "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. History ______________________________________________________ I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) ______________________________________________________ If nobody knows the troubles you've seen, then you don't live in a small town. ------- Ha ! I grew up in a town so small, they were gossiping about things I had supposedly done, before I actually got around to doing them! That is why I emigrated. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of being happily married, the man had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life, he would have to stop having sex with his wife. The man and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation. One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said, "I was coming up to die." She laughed and replied, "And I was coming down to kill you!" ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Anita for this one: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Edgar Cortes, Orlando, Florida
Arrested for drinking in traffic next to a cop Drinking a cold one in traffic rarely ends well. It's especially true when the car in the next lane is labeled "Orlando Police Department." That's how Edgar Cortes found himself in jail shortly before noon Saturday on charges of driving with an open container, carrying a concealed firearm and armed possession of pot with intend to sell, court records show. "As I passed the vehicle...I observed the driver drink from a bottle that appeared to resemble that of an alcoholic beverage," Officer Jose Sanchez wrote. "The bottle's content appeared to be dark yellow in color, reasonably appearing to me to be the color of beer." It turned out to be Corona Extra, a pale lager brewed in Mexico, records show. "Initially Cortes did not want to pass my patrol vehicle and wanted to stay behind avoiding a traffic stop," the arrest report states. "I knew he was doing this because he reduced his speed to almost a complete stop in the roadway." Both drove slowly east on Vineland Road until Cortes passed and Sanchez lit up his patrol car's red lights. Approaching the stopped Honda compact, Sanchez wrote, he drew his pistol and ordered Cortes to raise his hands after watching him push or pull something underneath the driver's seat. He also noticed the smell of unburned marijuana and spotted an open bottle of Corona behind the front passenger seat. "The same bottle I saw Cortes drinking from," he wrote. Cortes subsequently handed over a small bag of marijuana and said there was an open bottle of beer behind the seat. After he was removed from the car, a 9 mm. pistol loaded with 11 cartridges was found under the driver's seat, records state. Cortes was released from the Orange County Jail after posting bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Andy Re: How do I send money with PayPal? Dear Webby, I don't want to explain why, but I need to send some money to a grand daughter, instantly, so that she can come home for Christmas. She laughed at me and said "Just use PayPal!" Well, you wrote about PayPal quite a bit. How do I send money to her? Andy Dear Andy Go to http://PayPal.com and sign up. It is fast and easy. They use your credit card to verify that you are over 18. You can also use your bank account for that. Don't worry, it is totally secure. Put your checking account in tehre as fall-back, and a credit card as the second fall-back. A fall-back is used when you don't have quite enough in there for a purchase. Say, you have $35 in there, but want to buy a $45 item, then it reaches to the fall-back for the extra $10. Then you get a chance to stock your account with funds. If you want to send $50 to her, put $55 in there. Always put a bit more than necessary in there and slowly build up a little stash, that Mama doesn't know about. OK, so now you got money in there to use any way you want. You only go through that set-up once in your lifetime. From now on you just sign in with the password, that you have chosen. At the top there is a button that says SEND MONEY. Hit that. Enter recipient PayPal email address. Enter the email address she told you to use. Usually you use an address other than your regular mailing address for PayPal, but it can be the same one. Enter the one she told you to use. Then you Enter the amount. Now you can add a message. The message field looks small, but it scrolls. Then hit SEND. You might have to enter your password once more, and it is done. The money is in her PayPal account, and she can use it to slide it onto her debit card or whatever she needs it for. Keep in mind, instructions like these sound intimidating and more complicated than they are. If you have a credit or debit card or a bank account number ready, the whole set-up is fast and easy. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges,but eventually you find a hairstyle you like. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Christmas Wrap The best way to store wrapping paper is to unroll it from the cardboard tube and then re-roll it and store it inside the tube. Source: Been doing it for years ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ That reminds me,.... one time as I was doing the Denver airport marathon (arrive at gate A2 and walk to D42). I observed a lady leaning more and more because of a heavy shoulder-slung laptop case. So I showed her how I had slung mine around the handle of the wheeled carry-on, so that it hung nice and low in front of the carry-on and perfectly counter-balanced everything. She was desperate enough to get the weight off her shoulder, but couldn't stand the thought of her precious laptop being behind her, out of her sight. So she PUSHED her wheeled carry-on in front of her like a baby stroller. While that definitely CAN be done, if somebody can walk in a perfectly straight line and has learned to steer with minimal movements, she definitely needed a lot of practise in both of those skills. Her carry-on zig-zagged in front of her like it was frantically trying to escape. To make it worse, every time she turned her head to talk to me, -and she did a lot of that-, she also turned her body a bit and promptly steered her carry-on into the not moving rubber sidewall of the moving walkway. As you can probably imagine, that sudden stop of the PUSHED carry-on caused her to run into it, OOOFFF, and bounce with her generous bumpers into me, OOOOFFF. The more embarrassed and exasperated she got, the more she talked, and the more she talked, the more her carry-on zig-zagged. In the old days I would have gladly hung her big laptop case on top of mine, (-always been "strong like bull, smart like shovel"-) but since 9/11 it is bad form to even talk about touching anybody elses stuff. When we finally got to the departure gate, just in time, and the security guard asked her if she had been in control of her luggage at all times, she blew up. She screeched at the poor guy that NOBODY could be in control of that @#$% cart, that IT was possessed and that it controlled her, and on and on. Guards from other gates started fastwalking over to where we were, with rather concerned looks on their faces, and it appeared like they were going to haul her off. So I explained to them that she had PUSHED her carry-on to be able to keep an eye on it. They of course knew all about that, and relaxed. ___________________________________________________
The Christmas story
____________________________________________________ Bubba asked his wife, if he died and she remarried, would she let her new husband drive his pickup truck? Betty-Sue replied: "Heck no. He has a new one." ____________________________________________________ Bobby, a devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences on uncle Jack's farm. Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, with great joy..."It's a miracle!" "Not Really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover." ____________________________________________________
Star Wars Christmas light show.

Today, December 24, in
1814 The War of 1812 between the U.S. and Britain was ended 
 with the signing of the Treaty of Ghent in Belgium. 
1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Germany composed the music for 
 "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. 
1851 A fire devastated the Library of Congress in Washington, DC, 
 destroying about 35,000 volumes. 
1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a private 
 social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan. 
1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to broadcast 
 a music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA. 
1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made when 
 a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a rectory 
 in Dover. 
1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport ship 
 S.S. Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 800 American 
 soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the English Channel 
 to be reinforcements at the battle that become known as the 
 Battle of the Bulge. 
1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied in 
 Dover, MA. 
1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of Libya, 
 under King Idris. 
1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed about 100lbs. 
1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon. 
1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and Frank 
 Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 times before 
 coming back to Earth. Seven months later man first landed on the 
 moon. 
1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the country's 
 Marxist government. The CIA trained and supplied the Taliban to
 oppose and fight the Russians.
1981 In Eastern Kazakh/Semipalatinsk, the Soviet Union performed 
 a nuclear test. 
1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he had 
 stopped smoking.
1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at the 
 Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City. 
1990 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former Defense 
 Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the Iran-Contra 
 scandal. 
1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, known as "Carlos the Jackal," was 
 sentenced by a French court to life in prison for the 1975 
 murders of two French investigators and a Lebanese national. 
1999 Ivory Coast President Henri Konan Bédié was overthrown 
 in a coup. 
2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas 
 prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. The suspects 
 killed Officer Aubrey Hawkins, stole $70,000, 25 weapons and 
 clothing. The men had escaped on December 13.
2015  smiled.


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What kind of programming for PayPal buttons? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 23

Time to start panicking and / or wrapping!
Last minute Christmas Cards:
Angelwinks Christmas menu

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oklahoma Hornhead robber Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 23, in 1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley invented the transistor. History ______________________________________________________ The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. --- Aneurin Bevan (1897 - 1960) "Whatever it is the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else." --- PJ Orourke ______________________________________________________ The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, "I would like to know two things. First: Why did you revolt? Second: How did you get out of your cell?" One of the three men stepped forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful." "I see. And what did you use to break the bars?" The warden asked. Replied the spokesman, "French Toast." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said "dry", so I gave him a pint of beer and he was well enough to go to work!" ______________________________________________________ If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think the locals will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, they wouldn't call 'em biscuits. ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Terry, 26, Sonja Moro, 29, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Hornhead was arrested for robbery An Oklahoma man is horning in on the dubious honor of "mugshot of the year." Paul Terry was arrested Saturday after a man told police that he was robbed by two people, one of whom was sporting some very unique forehead tattoos. The victim described a man with devil horns and the words "f*** cops" inked on his noggin, according to NewsOn6.com. Police said 26-year-old Terry robbed the ex-boyfriend of his alleged accomplice, Sonja Moro, 29, Friday evening. When the victim opened the door of his home, Terry and Moro allegedly forced their way inside. The victim told police that Terry threatened to stab him if he didn't give them money. Terry allegedly left after the victim gave him a wallet, according to KRMG.com. Police said Moro stayed behind trying to get more money from the victim. She fled the scene after the man told her he was calling 911. Officers used that information to arrest Terry and Moro Saturday evening, according to Tulsa World. Terry was booked on armed robbery charges and is currently being held in the Tulsa County Jail in lieu of $100,000 bond. Moro was booked on the same charge and is also at the Tulsa County Jail on $50,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ellen Re: What kind of programming for payPal buttons? Dear Webby, Those payPal buttons work fine, really slick, especially how they serve up the download. What Kind of programming skills do I need to create one of those? I used to know some C, but have not used it since college, many years ago. Thanks Ellen Dear Ellen None at all. That has all been done for you. All you do is fill in forms with stuff you know, like the location of your download page, and select items like your choice of button. Then it shows you the "code" to paste onto your page or into your emails. Your buttons are saved, and you can retrieve them and slightly modify them for your next item to sell. It is quite simple and civilized. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Tom had been a compulsive worrier for years until he found a way to overcome this problem. His friends noticed the dramatic change. "You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore." "I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week." Tom replied. "I haven't had a single qualm since." "A Thousand a week!" said Doug. "How are you going to pay him?" "That's his problem." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Christmas Wrap The best way to store wrapping paper is to unroll it from the cardboard tube and then re-roll it and store it inside the tube. Source: Been doing it for years ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sandra: “Did you know you should test your smoke detectors regularly?” Cindy: “Oh, yeah! I do. Every now and then, I cook something.” ___________________________________________________
Christmas tree & elephant
____________________________________________________ Lady of the house: “I want you to stand at the front door and call the guests' names as they arrive.” Butler: “Very well, madam. I've been wanting to do that for years.” ____________________________________________________ Compelling evidence that Jesus was a woman: 1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work to do. ____________________________________________________
Star Wars Christmas light show.

Today, December 23, in
1788 Maryland voted to cede a 100-square-mile area for the 
 seat of the national government. About two-thirds of the area 
 became the District of Columbia. 
1823 The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore 
 (" 'Twas the night before Christmas...") was published. 
1834 English architect Joseph Hansom patented his 'safety cab', 
 better known as the Hansom cab. 
1856 Ralph Collier was issued a U.S. patent for the first rotary 
 egg beater with rotating parts. 
1888 Following a quarrel with Paul Gauguin, Dutch painter Vincent 
 Van Gogh cut off part of his own earlobe. 
1893 The Engelbert Humperdinck opera "Hansel und Gretel" was 
 first performed, in Weimar, Germany. 
1919 The first ship designed to be used as an ambulance for the 
 transport patients was launched. The hospital ship was named 
 USS Relief and had 515 beds. 
1941 During World War II, American forces on Wake Island 
 surrendered to the Japanese. 
1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. It was 
 the first of the traditional Christmas shows. 
1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley invented 
 the transistor. 
1948 Former Japanese premier Hideki Tojo and six other Japanese war 
 leaders were executed in Tokyo. They had been found guilty of 
 crimes against humanity. 
1953 Soviet secret police chief Lavrenti Beria and six of his associates 
 were shot for treason following a secret trial. 
1954 The Walt Disney movie "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" was released. 
1957 Dan Blocker made his acting debut on television in the "Restless Gun." 
1965 A 70-mph speed limit was introduced in Britain. 
1968 The crew of the U.S. Navy ship, Pueblo, was released by North Korea. 
 The Captain of the Pueblo, Commander Lloyd M. Bucher, and 82 of his crew 
 were held for 11 months after the ship was seized by North Korea because 
 of suspected spying by the Americans. 
1970 In New York, the topping out ceremony for original One 
 World Trade Center (North Tower) took place. The South Tower's 
 ceremony took place on July 19, 1971. 
1981 NASA approved a plan to continue the Voyager II spacecraft on a 
 trajectory that would take it within 66,000 miles of Uranus on 
 July 24, 1986. 
1986 The experimental airplane Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and 
 Jeana Yeager, completed the first non-stop, around-the-world flight 
 without refueling as it landed safely at Edwards Air Force Base in 
 California. 
1987 Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, serving a life sentence for the 
 attempted assassination of U.S. President Ford in 1975, escaped from 
 the Alderson Federal Prison for Women in West Virginia. She was 
 recaptured two days later. 
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, Elena, 
 were captured as they were attempting to flee their country. 
1990 Elections in Yugoslavia ended, leaving four of its six republics 
 with non-Communist governments. 
1995 A fire in Dabwali, India, killed 540 people, including 170 children, 
 during a year-end party being held near the children's school. 
1997 Terry Nichols was convicted by a Denver jury on charges of conspiracy 
 and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 federal building bombing in 
 Oklahoma City. The bomb killed 168 people. 
1998 Guerrillas in south Lebanon fired dozens of rockets at northern Israel.
2015  smiled.


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Is PayPal OK for selling eBooks? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 22

Thank you, Lynda!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa anti-gun sheriff who shot his own hand Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 22, in 1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. History ______________________________________________________ There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say. --- Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974) ______________________________________________________ > From Billy B When my wife had to rush to the hospital unexpectedly, she asked me to bring her a few items from home. One item on her list was "comfortable underwear." Not sure what she considers comfortable, I asked, "How will I know which ones to pick?" "Hold them up and imagine them on me," she answered. "If you smile, put them back and pick some different ones." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife's going deaf." The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you'll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is." The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he's standing just a few feet away from her. Finally, she turns around and screams at him: "For the eleventh time, I said we're having MEATLOAF!" ______________________________________________________ A Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "I'm sure you're wrong." The man pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what, let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I called your wife. I was on the phone for five hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously says, "Yes, please." "Take the poison!" ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ From Noella Morning fog near Bolivar, MO. 9-30-05 ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mike Johnstone, , Des Moines County, Iowa
Iowa anti-gun sheriff who shot his own hand Anti-gun Sheriff Mike Johnstone in Des Moines County, Iowa shot himself in the hand. This is the sheriff that’s known for pushing the anti-gun lie that concealed carry will lead to “wild-west” shootouts. Mike Johnstone didn’t clear his personally owned firearm properly while he was cleaning it at his home. The firearm went off and shot him in the hand. Smooth move buddy. Seems like anti-gun and anti-hunting “activists” are always getting themselves into trouble. The report did not state whom or what he had shot with his personal handgun, just that he was preparing to clean it.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marie Re: Is PayPal safe? Dear Webby, I heard a lot of horror stories about PayPal, but you seem to be using it without trouble. What's the real story about it? I need some way to accept money for my eBook. Marie Dear Marie Yes, it might be indeed terrible if you don't sign up for it, or if you don't read the instructions. However, if you actually sign up, which is simple and straightforward, and follow basic instructions, it works very well. Look at any eBook for sale on the net, for example my book of all the classic Christmas Stories, that are slowly getting lost. Have you been told every one of them? Have you read every one of them to your kids or grandkids? That is a good example for a simple PayPal button. When a buyer clicks on it, they can pay with a credit/debit card or their PayPal balance, and when they do, the "Thank-You" page gives them the download, and they can instantly download it. It can't be any simpler for the buyer. For the seller it is quite simple too. You just step through and follow the instructions. Each step has explanations, if you need them. You just make a different button for each eBook, that you sell. Don't forget, though, you DO need a web site to put your buttons on. While the buttons work on many email programs, they are blocked by a few. For those, you just send the buyers to a page, where you got your button. Go ahead and click on my eBook and see how it works. The book clickthrough in the email just gets you to the page, where the real PayPal button is. On the web it works for everybody, no matter which email program they use. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Joe Bob, John Boy and Bubba were moving furniture. While Joe Bob and John Boy were struggling with a particularly heavy oak wardrobe, Joe Bob noticed that Bubba was nowhere in sight. "John Boy, where's Bubba?" asked Joe Bob. "That big galoot should be helping us with this thing." "He is helping," said John Boy. "He's inside holding the clothes hangers in place!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Brownie Bowls With this dessert, you can eat the dish! Approximate Time: 25 min prep, 30 to bake Yield: 12 bowls Ingredients: Brownie mix or recipe* for an 8-inch square pan of brownies 4 muffin tins Steps: Grease and flour the cups of one muffin tin. Fill the first muffin tins no more than 2/3 full of batter. Grease and flour the underside of the second muffin tin. Press the second tin on top of the first. Repeat with the third and fourth muffin tin. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25-30 minutes. Let cool completely before you separate the tins. Fill with ice cream, pudding, or fruit. You may top with whipped cream, if you wish. Source: Pinterest based By Judy Pariser S. [73] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking about a specific condition, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the back of the room raised his hand and said, "A basket ball coach?" ___________________________________________________
Christmas Eve Sarajevo
____________________________________________________ An English teacher often wrote little notes on student assignments. He was working late one night, and as the hours passed, his handwriting deteriorated. The next day a student came to him after class with her essay he had corrected. "I can't make out this comment you wrote on my paper." The teacher took the paper, and after squinting at it for a minute, sheepishly replied, "It says that you need to write more legibly!" ____________________________________________________ On a Southwest Airlines flight, just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault . . . it was the asphalt!" ____________________________________________________
When you need a break and to remember the amazing beauty in this world. Beautiful photography.

Today, December 22, in
1715 James Stuart, the "Old Pretender", landed at Petershead 
 after his exile in France. 
1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious 
 American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. 
1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed to 
 force peace between Britain and France by cutting off all 
 trade with Europe. 
1894 French army officer Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of 
 treason in a court-martial that triggered worldwide charges 
 of anti-Semitism. Dreyfus was eventually vindicated. 
1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray, 
 of his wife's hand. 
1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world 
 pistol record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 points. 
 She was 17 years old at the time. 
1943 Sporting goods manufacturers received permission to use 
 synthetic rubber for the core of baseballs. 
1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt. 
1961 James Davis became the first U.S. soldier to die in Vietnam, 
 while U.S. involvement was still limited to the provision of 
 military advisers. 
1984 New York City resident Bernhard Goetz shot four black youths 
 on a Manhattan subway. Goetz claimed they were about to rob him. 
1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly elected 
 president. 
1991 The body of Lt. Col. William R. Higgins, an American hostage 
 murdered by his captors, was found along a highway in Lebanon. 
1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to smuggle 
 cigarettes into Canada. 
2001 Thirty Afghans, including two women, were sworn in as part of 
 the new interim government in Afghanistan. Hamid Karzai was the 
 head of the post-Taliban government.
2015  smiled.


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Ezinefinder Voting 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 21

Thank you, Jim!
Thank you Betty!!
Thank You Conrad!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida felon desperate for Christmas behind bars arrested with 5 stolen vehicles plus lots of other stuff Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 21, in 1898 Scientists Pierre and Marie Curie discovered the radioactive element radium. History ______________________________________________________ The only way to be truly misogynistic is to be a woman. --- Randy K. Milholland ______________________________________________________ "Computers in the future may weigh less than 1.5 tons." ---POPULAR MECHANICS, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949 (They just feel that heavy, when you lug your laptop and spare batteries from one end of an airport to the other.) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ ROOM, NO VIEW, $20 The location isn't desirable, the rooms are cramped, the food isn't that appealing and you don't get your own key -- but the rent is only $20 a day. The Dakota County Jail already charges inmates a fee for booking. Beginning Sept. 1, offenders will be billed $20 a day to defray the $90 daily expense to jail them. Law enforcement officials say that those who can't come up with the money won't be evicted from their cells. They say the indigent will be eligible for waivers. Others can negotiate a payment plan. ______________________________________________________ An elderly lady from a remote little town went to one of Philadelphia's most fashionable suburbs to visit her niece and husband. Nearby was a very well known golf course. On the second afternoon of her visit, the elderly lady went for a stroll. Upon her return, the niece asked, "Well, Auntie, did you enjoy yourself?" "Oh, yes, indeed," said Auntie, beaming. "Before I had walked very far, I came to some beautiful rolling fields. There seemed to be a number of people about, mostly men in weird clothes. Some of them kept shouting at me in a very eccentric manner, but I took no notice. There were four men who followed me for some time, uttering curious excited barking sounds. Naturally, I ignored them, too." "Oh, by the way," she added, as she held out her hands, "You know how I detest littering. I found a number of these curious little round white balls, so I picked them all up and brought them home hoping you could explain what they're all about. I got my whole purse full of them." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ Came across this one in my archives: Jerome, Arizona ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Peterson, 31, Leesburg, Florida
Florida felon desperate for Christmas behind bars arrested. Lake County deputies arrested a felon Tuesday who appeared to be getting an early start to his Christmas shopping. Joshua Peterson, 31, was nabbed for numerous thefts across Lake and Sumter counties, with an approximate value of $100,000, Lake County Sheriff's Office Sgt. Fred Jones said. Officials recovered five stolen pickup trucks: a Ford, a Toyota, a Mazda, a GMC and a Dodge. They also recovered a travel trailer, three lawn mowers, three weedeaters, a chainsaw and a four wheeler, from various locations across Lake and Sumter counties. Peterson, who was driving a white Ford F-150 and was towing a trailer, was stopped at a Speedway gas station near U.S. Highway 27 south of Leesburg. The deputy recognized the truck as one that had been reported stolen earlier in the night, he also recognized the driver as Peterson, according to an arrest report. The truck's license plate was reported stolen Monday from a vehicle at Leesburg Regional Medical Center, deputies said. Peterson also had methamphetamine, syringes and pills, the report states. He's been arrested six times previously in Lake County, and faced charges for theft and aggravated assault. He was most recently released from prison in March. He was sentenced on March 18, 2013 to two years and nearly 8 months in prison for 11 crimes, including grand theft and using forged bills, in Lake County. He was sentenced to two years, six months in prison on June 18, 2009 for at least 12 burglary charges. Peterson and another man, both Groveland residents at the time, were accused in 2009 of 15 burglaries, mainly of cars, along the U.S. 27 corridor. Records show he went to prison on July 8, 2009 and was released on March 1, 2011. He returned to prison on April 2, 2013 and was released on March 21 2015.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Voting Dear Webby, Usually the voting at the Ezinefinder doesn't mess up until the new year. It has been messed up and not allowing me to get into my favorites, actually not allowing me to log in! I know, writing to them does no good. What is going on? Fran Dear Fran Try voting now. It looks like they fixed it on Sunday afternoon. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another male chauvinist pig trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by condescendingly offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up. Finally, the man says: "Look, weird lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Brillo Pads for Clean Stainless Steel Sinks After several years of using harsh agents to clean my stainless steel sinks and destroying my hands in the process I have started using Brillo type soap pads (store brand of course). My hands are getting better and the sinks look fantastic! By Marty Dick [166] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ That remids me.... At a a crowded and busy bus stop, a woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the top step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screamed, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends." ___________________________________________________
Still, Still, Still
____________________________________________________ And that reminds me of ANOTHER bus joke: Reverend George had minor surgery after a bad accident and gets on the bus to get back to the rectory. He looks quite bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the anesthetic. He staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly woman. She looks Reverend George up and down and screeches at him: "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The Reverend George jumps up out of his seat and shouts: "Hold it, driver! I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!" ____________________________________________________ One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." and continued his rounds. When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor recognized the famous scientist and said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it." "You're very kind," the professor said, "But I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off the train." ____________________________________________________
I love the color red!

Today, December 21, in
1620 The "Mayflower"landed at Plymouth Rock, MA. 
1898 Scientists Pierre and Marie Curie discovered the radioactive 
 element radium. 
1913 Arthur Wynne published a new "word-cross" puzzle in the 
 "New York World" in England. The name was later changed to 
 "crossword." 
1914 Marie Dressler, Charlie Chaplin, Mabel Normand and Mack 
 Swain appeared in the first six-reel, feature-length comedy. 
 The film was entitled "Tillie’s Punctured Romance". 
1925 Eisenstein's film "Battleship Potemkin" was first shown 
 in Moscow. 
1937 Walt Disney debuted the first, full-length, animated 
 feature in Hollywood, CA. The movie was "Snow White and the 
 Seven Dwarfs." 
1944 Horse racing was banned in the United States until after 
 the end of World War II. 
1945 U.S. Gen. George S. Patton died in Heidelberg, Germany, 
 of injuries from a car accident. 
1948 The state of Eire (formerly the Irish Free State) 
 declared its independence. 
1968 Apollo 8 was launched on a mission to orbit the moon. The 
 craft landed safely in the Pacific Ocean on December 27. 
1971 The U.N. Security Council chose Kurt Waldheim to succeed 
 U Thant as secretary-general. 
1988 270 people were killed when Pan Am Boeing 747 exploded 
 over Lockerbie, Scotland, due to a terrorist attack. 
1990 In a German television interview, Saddam Hussein declared 
 that he would not withdraw from Kuwait by the UN deadline. 
1991 Eleven of the 12 former Soviet republics proclaimed the 
 birth of the Commonwealth of Independent States. 
1995 The city of Bethlehem passed from Israeli to Palestinian 
 control. 
1996 After two years of denials, U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich 
 admitted violating House ethics rules. 
1998 Israel's parliament voted overwhelmingly for early elections. 
 It was the signal to the demise of Prime Minister Benjamin 
 Netanyahu's hard-line government. 
1998 A Chinese court sentenced two dissidents to long prison 
 terms for attempting to organize an opposition party. A third 
 man was sentenced to 12 years in prison on December 22, 1998. 
1998 The first vaccine for Lyme disease was approved. 
2001 The Islamic militant group Hamas released a statement that 
 said it was suspending suicide bombings and mortar attacks in Israel. 
2002 Larry Mayes was released after spending 21 years in prison for 
 a rape that he maintained that he never committed. He was the 
 100th person in the U.S. to be released after DNA tests were 
 performed. 
2015  smiled.


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How to get rid of the nuisance W10 pop-up 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 19

Thanks for resuming your farting around.
The cold broke and temps were much more comfortable druring
my evening walk.

Sorry about the goofy format in yesterday's Humor Letter.
Somehow I clipped a > at the top, qand after that none
of the line ends worked.
Sorry about that!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida mom arrested after leaving baby bound and gagged with packing tape in a locked car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 19, in 1562 The Battle of Dreux was fought between the Huguenots and the Catholics, beginning the French Wars of Religion. History ______________________________________________________ Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. --- Daniel J. Boorstin (1914 - ) "A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway." --- Fr. Jerome Cummings The number of divorces in this country proves that this is the land of the free. The number of marriages proves that it is truly the home of the brave. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ A group of tourists was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining, "The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful." The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days, if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't even kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ How do you tell the difference between the psychologists and the patients in a psychiatric hospital? Short term: The psychologists show off better footwear. Long term: The patients get better and leave. ______________________________________________________ A business traveller was passing through a small town when he came upon a huge funeral procession. "Who died?" he asked a nearby local. "I'm not sure," replied the local, " but I think it's the one in the coffin. Just come along, even if we don't get close enough to hear at the cemetary, maybe we'll find out at the party afterward." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Grace An, 18, Gainesville, Georgia
Florida mom arrested after she left baby bound and gagged with tape in car. A Georgia mother has been arrested on child cruelty charges after law enforcement discovered her 16-month-old bound with cellophane and packing tape in the back seat of her vehicle. The toddler’s mother, 18-year-old Grace An, was later arrested and charged with first-degree child cruelty, reckless conduct, and false imprisonment. According to the Hall County Sheriff’s Office, deputies were called after somebody reported a suspicious looking vehicle parked outside of a suburban home outside of Gainesville around 6:45 p.m. on Wednesday. When they arrived at the scene, they were greeted by a local locksmith who said he had been called by somebody that he assumed had been locked out of their car. After walking closer to the locked vehicle, however, he noticed a small child bound by cellophane and packaging tape in the back seat. “The locksmith indicated that while he was unlocking the vehicle he discovered a small child bound by tape in the back seat,” police revealed in a press release. When deputies checked inside the seemingly abandoned car, they “found (the child) lying in the back seat with cellophane and packing tape wrapped around the child’s mouth, hands and feet.” Fortunately, an ambulance was called and the child was quickly rushed to Northeast Georgia Medical Center, where he was soon released into the custody of the Department of Family and Children Services. According to the Sheriff’s Office, Grace An was later picked up and taken to the Hall County Jail, where she remains without bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Get Rid of W10 nagger pop-up Dear Webby, Dear Webby, A year ago I had a new computer made with Windows 7. Now I keep getting a pop up trying to get me to upgrade to Windows 10. Is there a way to stop the pop up? Thank you so much. Merry Christmas and a Blessed, Healthy and Happy New Year. Dani Dear Dani The nuisance pop-up is just to remind you of how big a nuisance Microsoft is. Because there is practically no demand for W10 but a huge demand for getting rid of the nuisance nagger, the good people at GitHub created a little program to take care of it once and for all. Most other remedies are only temporary, and then the nagger mysteriously re-appears. This one is permanent. It is not instant. The GitHub remedy searches the computer for hidden seeds, that could restart the nagger. That takes a few minutes. Here is the program in ZIP form. You have to download it and unzip it, and then run it. I made a short URL for you: http://tinyurl.com/No10Nagger If you want to see what is in the short URL, the long one is: https://github.com/rn10950/I-Dont-Want-Windows- 10/releases/download/4.0/I_Dont_Want_Windows_10_v4.zip The program works well. I have used it myself. Have FUN! DearWebby Ted's daughter had adopted a stray cat. To his wife's distress, the cat began to use the back of their new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," Ted reassured her. "I'll have him trained in no time." Nettie watched for several days as Ted patiently "trained" their new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, Ted deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com DIY Lazy Susan with Marbles Make your own incredibly inexpensive Lazy Susan! Just take a pan, pour some marbles in it, put another pan on top and voila! A fully functional DIY Lazy Susan. Put your items on the top pan and spin. I saw this on the corner of the counter in my parents' kitchen and thought it was brilliant! Source: My thrifty mum :) By attosa [148] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news. "We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good, I'm afraid," the doctor told Ralph in a quiet, somber voice. Ralph looked at Lena, and with a soft trembling voice, he said, "But doctor, she's so young. She's only 45." "37," came the weak reply from Lena. ___________________________________________________
Hallelujah
____________________________________________________ During lunch with a friend in a fast-food restaurant, I was telling her about a woman who had rear-ended my car at a traffic light. She had tried without any success to blame me for the accident. "She even called me every dirty name in the book!" I said. Just then I looked over to the next table where two nine-year-old boys had apparently been paying close attention to my story. One said to the other, "There's a book?" ____________________________________________________ A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" ____________________________________________________
Bali from the air

Today, December 19, in
1562 The Battle of Dreux was fought between the Huguenots 
 and the Catholics, beginning the French Wars of Religion. 
1732 Benjamin Franklin began publishing "Poor Richard's Almanac." 
1777 General George Washington led his army of about 11,000 men 
 to Valley Forge, PA, to camp for the winter. 
1842 Hawaii's independence was recognized by the U.S. 
1843 Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first published. 
1871 Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones. 
1887 Jake Kilrain and Jim Smith fought in a bare knuckles fight 
 which lasted 106 rounds and 2 hours and 30 minutes. The fight 
 was ruled a draw and was halted due to darkness. 
1903 The Williamsburg Bridge opened in New York City. It opened 
 as the largest suspension bridge on Earth and remained the largest 
 until 1924. It was also the first major suspension bridge to use 
 steel towers to support the main cable. 
1907 A coalmine explosion in Jacobs Creek, PA, killed 239 workers. 
1917 The first games of the new National Hockey League (NHL) were 
 played. Five teams made up the league: Toronto Arenas, Ottawa Senators, 
 Quebec Bulldogs, the Montreal Canadiens and the Montreal Wanderers. 
1918 Robert Ripley began his "Believe It or Not" column in 
 "The New York Globe". 
1957 Air service between London and Moscow was inaugurated. 
1959 Penn State’s Nittany Lions beat Alabama, 7-0, in the first 
 Liberty Bowl football game. 
1959 Walter Williams died in Houston, TX, at the age of 117. He was 
 said to be the last surviving veteran of the U.S. Civil War. 
1961 "Judgment At Nuremberg" opened in New York City. 
1972 Apollo 17 splashed down in the Pacific, ending the 
 Apollo program of manned lunar landings. 
1973 Johnny Carson started a fake toilet-paper scare on the 
 "Tonight Show." 
1979 ESPN televised its first NHL game. The teams were the 
 Washington Capitals and the Hartford Whalers. 
1984 Wayne Gretzky, 23, of the Edmonton Oilers, became only 
 the 18th player in the National Hockey League (NHL) to score 
 more than 1,000 points. 
1984 Britain and China signed an accord returning Hong Kong to 
 Chinese sovereignty on July 1, 1997. 
1986 The Soviet Union announced it had freed dissident Andrei 
 Sakharov from internal exile, and pardoned his wife, Yelena Bonner. 
1989 U.S. troops invaded Panama to overthrow the regime of 
 General Noriega. 
1996 The school board of Oakland, CA, voted to recognize Black English, 
 also known as "ebonics." The board later reversed its stance. 
1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two charges of 
 perjury and obstruction of justice by the U.S. House of 
 Representatives. 
2003 Images for the new design for the Freedom Tower at the World 
 Trade Center site were released. The building slopes into a spire 
 that reaches 1,776 feet. 
2008 U.S. President George W. Bush signed a $17.4 billion rescue 
 package of loans for ailing auto makers General Motors and Chrysler.
2015  smiled.


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How to go back to W7 



PRE style="font-family:Arial, sans-serif; color:navy;">
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


-20 C (0 degrees F) Refreshing! 
That was during my walk. It's going to cool off some 
more tonight.
Absolutely no danger of Gullible Warming.
Please resume farting around.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Vero Beach man arrested after he attempted jail break-in, becam entangled in razor wire Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 17, in 1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the U.S. for an annual rent. History ______________________________________________________ You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. --- Ray Bradbury (1920 - ) "The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr." ---- Will Rogers "Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt." --- Herbert Hoover ______________________________________________________ Overheard in the bank today: A few ladies were discussing the newsreport about the hormone pills for women in or after menopause claiming that the hormones could lead to 8 more heart attacks in 10 000 people. Most figured that 8 in 10 000 was so small a number that it was probably due to some fluke ot error, and only one of them seemed inclined to consider giving up the estrogen pills. Then the old country doctor, who had just come in, interrupted in her usual gruff and surly manner. She said: "8 in 10 000 is silly! If 10 000 stop using the hormone pills, you'll see 8000 divorces and 800 murders! 8 Heart attacks. Those I can deal with nowadays, but not 10 000 grouchy dingbats!" Everybody cracked up laughing, especially because she has a reputation for being quite a grouch. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Arthur, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it." ______________________________________________________ One day, a guy was driving with his four-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She said, "I know that, daddy." He said, "How did you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't yell, 'JERK,' after you honked." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Rempe, 24, Vero Beach, Florida
Vero Beach man arrested after he attempted jail break-in, becam entangled in razor wire A man high on Flakka rammed the fence at the Indian River County Jail and attempted to scale the fence, but became stuck at the top, authorities said. A man high on a synthetic stimulant rammed the fence at the Indian River County Jail and became entangled in razor wire when he attempted to scale the fence early Tuesday, the Indian River County Sheriff's Office said. Patrick Rempe, 24, of the 2200 block of 53rd Avenue, Vero Beach, had to be assisted out of the wire by deputies and paramedics before he was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer and several other charges. Rempe had been using the drug Flakka, Flowers said. "The people who are on this drug lose control of themselves," Flowers said. Flakka is a synthetic drug that has also been compared to cocaine and methamphetamine, law enforcement officials said. It causes hallucinations and euphoria for its users, but can also cause paranoia, confusion and psychosis. The Sheriff's Office estimates the jail sustained at least $5,000 worth damage to the doors and the fence. "The good thing is, we were never compromised," Flowers said. Even if Rempe had not been entangled in the wire, he would have had to scale a second fence, also topped with razor wire, before reaching the jail building, which would have been locked, Flowers said. About 4:15 a.m. Tuesday, Rempe rammed his 2002 Toyota into the front doors of Building C, barely missing a deputy who was outside the jail. The glass on the doors shattered, but the doors held up, Flowers said. Rempe then drove at a high rate of speed and rammed into the fence outside of building E, Flowers said. With the fence tipping slightly toward the building, Rempe tried to scale it and became stuck. Rempe spit on one of the deputies after being removed, Flowers said. Rempe was treated at Indian River Medical Center before he was booked into the jail. He told deputies he just wanted to visit friends who were in the jail. Rempe was charged with aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, battery on a law enforcement officer, three counts of felony criminal mischief, leaving the scene of a crash with property damage and driving under the influence.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mary M Re: Go back to W7 Dear Webby, My granddaughter was on my desk top and the window's 10 came up. I had been ignoring it. I like my 7 just fine and she downloaded W10 plus the 10 Norton. HELP !! I need to get rid of this and go back to 7. I know you had told how to do this a while back but I wasn't planning on getting 10. Thank you & Merry Christmas !! Mary Dear Mary Yes, I agree it is time to get rid of that granddaughter. She is evil! First UNistall Norton. Then, if it has been less than a month since she downgraded to Windows 10, you can go back to your previous version of Windows by going to Settings > Update & security > Recovery and selecting Go back to Windows 7. That should do it. You may have to re-Install Mcafee and MalwareBytes afterwards. With that link you can currently get the 2016 McAfee at 50% off. Have FUN! DearWebby Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened, and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the woman reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mushroom and Cheese Orzo Risotto People tend to get intimidated by the thought of making risotto. I can assure you, this version is a super easy method that results in a very elegant, delicious dish. Approximate Time: 20 minutes Yield: 4 servings Ingredients: 2 tsp oil 3/4 cup sliced or chopped mushrooms 1/4 cup chopped onions 2 cloves minced garlic 2 cups dried orzo pasta 3 cups chicken broth 1/3 cup any type of cheese (I used aged cheddar here) salt and pepper to taste 1 Tbsp butter Steps: Add oil to frying pan over high heat. Cook mushrooms, onions and garlic until browned, about 5 minutes. Reduce heat to medium and add dried orzo. Stir often until pasta is light golden brown, a few minutes. Add chicken broth and bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat and simmer. Stirring often. It will take about 8 minutes or so until orzo is tender and most of the liquid is absorbed. If its too thick or dry, add a bit of water at a time until you reach desired consistency. If too wet, cook a bit longer. Turn off heat then drop in cheese, butter, and salt and pepper to taste. Stir until cheese melts. I'm getting hungry just writing this! Enjoy! By attosa [147] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home." "Why?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. ........ Now I do it in seven." ___________________________________________________
Santa’s shop
____________________________________________________ A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said "My husband just won't go to church with me, I think he's going to go to Hell." This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in Hell. So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said "I try to be good - I'm sure I'll make it to Heaven." One after the other, and all at the sime time, as is common in these gatherings, they enumerated their good deeds and their sufferings and reasons why they would surely go to heaven. Then they noticed that one of the ladies wasn't saying anything. They looked at her and said "You're always soo a kind and good, surely you're going to Heaven?" "Not me," she says, "Tonight I am going to go burn down a church or two. Maybe a rectory too." They were shocked and asked "Why??" "Well, none of the men I like are going to go to heaven. I am just going to make sure I won't either". ____________________________________________________ A lady from Chicago was visiting New York City. Her hostess was determined to make the Midwesterner feel cheap and unimportant. "My dear," said the New York matron snobbishly, "here in the East we think breeding is everything." The lady from the Midwest replied. "Out where I come from we think it's fun, too, but we try to have a few other interests as well." ____________________________________________________
Pretty colorful igloo!

Today, December 17, in
1862 The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New 
 York City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and Crippled. 
1865 U.S. Secretary of State William Seward issued a statement 
 verifying the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the U.S. 
 Constitution. The amendment abolished slavery with the 
 declaration: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except 
 as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been 
 duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any 
 place subject to their jurisdiction." 
1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 kph). 
1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the 
 U.S. for an annual rent. 
1912 The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was 
 announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953. 
1916 During World War I, after 10 months of fighting the French 
 finally won a battle at Verdun. 
1936 Su-Lin, the first giant panda to come to the U.S. from China, 
 arrived in San Francisco, CA. The bear was sold to the 
 Brookfield Zoo for $8,750. 
1940 Adolf Hitler signed a secret directive ordering preparations 
 for a Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union. Operation "Barbarossa" 
 was launched in June 1941. 
1944 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the wartime relocation of 
 Japanese-Americans.
1950 NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western Europe, 
 including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary. 
1953 WPTZ, in Philadelphia, PA, presented a Felso commercial, it was 
 the first color telecast seen on a local station. 
1956 Japan was admitted to the United Nations. 
1957 The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania went 
 online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate electricity 
 in the United States. It was taken out of service in 1982. 
1965 Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates. 
1969 Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for murder. 
1970 Divorce became legal in Italy. 
1972 The United States began the heaviest bombing of North Vietnam 
 during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 12 days later. 
1973 The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in London. 
1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time by 
 Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph. 
1983 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point in 
 the 34th game of the season. 
1998 Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the U.S. 
 attacks on Iraq. 
1998 South Carolina proceeded with the U.S.' 500th execution 
 since capital punishment was restored. 
1999 After living atop an ancient redwood in Humboldt County, CA, 
for two years, environmental activist Julia "Butterfly" Hill came 
 down, ending her anti-logging protest. 
2001 A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The 
 cathedral is the largest in the United States. 
2009 General Motors announced that it would shut down its 
 Saab brand. 
2009 A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law 
 with its policy of digitizing books and fined the company 
 $14,300-a-day until it rids its search engine of the 
 literary extracts. 
2009 James Cameron's movie "Avatar" was released in the United 
 States. On January 26, the movie became the highest-grossing 
 film worldwide. 
2010 In Nanjing, China, the Zifeng Tower opened. 
2015  smiled.


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What to do about phony invoices 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 17

Thank you, Nancy!


-20 C (-5 F) here.
Gullible Warming seems to be limited to near sources of 
hot air.
Ocean levels are dropping in California and in Alaska.
The NorthWest Passage is frozen solid, and polar bears are
migrating South.

Please resume farting around. 
-20 C (-5 F)is too cold for comfort.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texan arrested after he drives his pickup into Alva, Oklahoma hotel lobby, on perpose. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 17, in 1777 France recognized American independence. History ______________________________________________________ "And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" --- Homer Simpson "Those who have knowledge, don't predict. Those who predict, don't have knowledge. " --- Lao Tzu (6th Century BC Chinese Poet) "When it is time to die, let us not discover that we never lived." --- Henry David Thoreau ______________________________________________________ How does Janice like being pregnant?" Bob asked his friend John. "Oh, she's not pregnant," John replied, "she's expecting." "What's the difference?" Bob pressed. "Well, John explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to bring her daily presents, she's expecting me to rub her feet . . ." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Why am I so much stronger than you are?" The trembling monkey said, "Because you are the King of the Jungle, mighty lion!" Later, the lion confronted a deer and bellowed, "Why am I so much stronger than you are?" The terrified deer stammered, "Oh great lion, because you are the King of the Jungle, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!" On a roll, the lion swaggered up to little field mouse and roared, "Why am I so much stronger than you are?" And the little field mouse replied, "Because I haven't had my coffee yet." ______________________________________________________ Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or any physical sport?" "No, not at all. Sometimes when we play bridge with our neighbors, I have to partner with my wife." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Parsley, 62, Gonzales, Texas
Texan arrested after he drives his pickup into Alva, Oklahoma hotel lobby, on perpose. A Texas man accused of driving his pickup into the lobby of an Alva hotel is facing felony charges in the incident. John Parsley, 62, of Gonzales, Texas, faces two felony counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and one count of malicious injury to property over $1,000, according to oscn.net. Woods County District Attorney Chris Boring filed charges late Monday afternoon. According to an Alva Police Department incident report, Parsley drove his 2006 Sierra GMC into the lobby of Alva Comfort Inn and Suites on Thursday afternoon after asking for a refund on two transactions. According to the report, Parsley, was told the card he used initially was declined both times. “Parsley stated he had paid cash for the last two nights because his card was declined both nights,” according to the report. Alva Police Officer Wade Suffon reported he tried to explain to Parsley that he would go into the hotel to discuss the situation with management. “Parsley rolled his window down and looked at me as I was speaking to him trying to explain to him I was going to go inside to speak with the manager,” according to Suffon's report. “I observed Parsley reach up and place his vehicle in drive and accelerate rapidly, crashing into the hotel front entrance and into the lobby.” Parsley left the vehicle in the lobby and walked out with his hands up, according to the report. He was arrested and is being held in Woods County Jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Olga Re: Weird invoices Dear Webby, Lately I have reeceived all kinds of weird invoices from companies I have never dealt with, usually companies that I have never heard of before. They all want me to click on a link for details. Well, as you can probably tell from my seasoned looks, I have not fallen off the turnip wagon last night. So naturally I did not click on any link. My question is where did those benighted scammers get my email address, and how can I stop getting those phony invoices? Olga Dear Olga Most of those phony invoices are from Russia. If you use MailWasher, and you have not set it to send stuff like that to hell automatically, it would tell you something like blah, blah, blah Mr. Kenton Mendez Accounting Specialist| Bank of America, N.A., Cabot Oil & Gas Corp. invoice_14318911_scan.doc If mailwasher could laugh out loud, it would. First, the .ru (Russia) in the FROM filed knocks it out. I never get legitimate mail from Russia, so I won't let them waste my time. Then ....scan.doc in the BODY knocks it down to hell. I had to look in the Recycle Bin for that example. My MailWasher dumps those automatically, without showing them to me. Just make filters like those, and you will never see those phony invoice emails ever again. Are you getting the hint why I love mailWasher so much? Have FUN! DearWebby A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com 15-Minute Chicken Cacciatore A delicious meal cooked in a pressure cooker. Your house will smell like an Italian restaurant. Next time I make this recipe, I'm going to chop all the vegetables the night before. It will be even faster. Approximate Time: 30 minutes Yield: 4 servings Ingredients: 1 (3 1/2 lb) chicken, cut into 8 pieces (I used chicken thighs, and took off the skin) 1 1/2 tsp salt, divided (I used less) 1 tsp black pepper, divided 1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, undrained 8 oz fresh mushrooms, cut in quarters 1 large green pepper, cut into 1-inch chunks 1 large onion, chopped 3 cloves, garlic, minced 1 jar (24 ounce) spaghetti sauce 2 tsp Italian seasoning Steps: Sprinkle the chicken with the salt and pepper. Put in a 5-quart or larger pressure cooker. Add the remaining ingredients in the order listed. Do not stir! Lock the lid. Put on high heat and bring to full pressure. Reduce the heat to maintain the pressure for 12 minutes. If you are using an electric pressure cooker, set the timer for 12 minutes. Quick release. Remove the lid, stir and serve the chicken with the sauce on the top. Source: Cook it Slow, Cook it Fast by Mr. Food By Judy Pariser S. [73] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two men from Arkansas are Walking along Sam Houston Street they see a sign which reads, "Suits $5.00 each, Shirts $2.00 each, Trousers $2.50 per pair" Bubba says to his pal, Josh: "LOOK! We could buy a whole lot of those, and when we get back home we could make a fortune. Now when we go into the shop, you be quiet, okay? Just let me do all the talking 'cause if they hear our accent, they might not serve us. I'll speak in my best Texas drawl." They go in and Bubba orders 50 suits at 5.00 each, 100 shirts at 2.00 each and 50 pairs of trousers at 2.50 each. "I'll back up my pickup and...." The owner of the shop interrupts, "You're from Arkansas, aren't you?" "Oh, yes," says a surprised Bubba. "How come you know that?" The owner says, "This is a dry-cleaners business." ___________________________________________________
Silent Monks singing Hallelujah Chorus
____________________________________________________ Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked. ____________________________________________________ The Indians asked their Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replied that the winter will be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then drove to town, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter is indeed going to be very cold." So the Chief went back to encourage his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, and asked again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief went back to his people and ordered them to go out and bring back every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that this winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely" the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!" ____________________________________________________
Japanese Army Brigade builds 50 ft. Vader out of snow.

Today, December 17, in
1777 France recognized American independence. 
1791 A traffic regulation in New York City established the 
 first street to go "One Way." 
1895 George L. Brownell received a patent for his paper-twine
1903 The first successful gasoline-powered airplane flight took 
 place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright made the 
 flight. 
1939 The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled by 
 its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the Rio de la 
 Plata off Uruguay to an end. 
1944 The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of excluding 
 Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which ensured that Japanese-
 Americans were released from concentration camps. 
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas 
 intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time. 
1969 The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by 
 concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial 
 spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings. 
1973 Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when Arab 
 guerillas hijacked a German airliner. 
1978 OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end of 1979. 
1986 Wayne "Danke Schoen" Newton won a $19.2 million suit against 
 NBC News. NBC had aired reports claiming a link between Newton and 
 mob figures. The reports were proven to be false. 
1986 Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient of a heart, 
 lungs, and liver transplant. 
1986 Eugene Hasefus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua. He 
 had been convicted of running guns to the Contras. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime Minister Brian 
 Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos Salinas de Gortari signed the 
 North American Free Trade Agreement. 
1992 Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese territory 
 in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected militants. 
1996 Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage at the 
 Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on April 22, 1997, 
 with a commando raid that resulted in the deaths of all the 
 rebels, two commandos and one hostage. 
1996 The Red Cross pulled all but a few of its western staff 
 out of Chechnya after six foreign aid workers were killed by 
 masked gunmen. 
1997 U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act. 
 The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that 
 they took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted 
 works and downloading them from the Internet. 
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush ordered the Pentagon to have 
 ready for use within two years a system for protecting American 
 territory, troops and allies from ballistic missile attacks. 
2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed into law the largest 
 overhaul of U.S. intelligence gathering in 50 years. The bill 
 aimed to tighten borders and aviation security. It also created 
 a federal counterterrorism center and a new intelligence director.
2015  smiled.


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Did you win money from FaceBook? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Paranoid Florida man was arrested after he called 911 on himself. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 16, in 1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots were disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation without representation and the monopoly the government granted to the East India Company. History ______________________________________________________ An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it. --- Jef Mallett, Frazz, 04-04-07 "Vegetarians don't live longer, they just look older." --- Socratex A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library. --- Westheimer's Discovery ______________________________________________________ While leading a party of girl guides through the woods in silent Cowboys and Indian fashion, our troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a young couple was engaged in some rather romantic activities. "Back ladies, back !" cried the leader, "There's a very dangerous beast out there!" But it was too late, several of the kids had more-or-less seen all. They asked their leader what was happening. "Well, if you... er... must know, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration." "WOW !" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I sure know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As the Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding along towards the north, they spotted a war party of about 50 Apaches coming at them. They turned south, but another war party appeared. They turned east and met another party of 100. They turned west as their last remaining hope and saw a party of 500. The Lone Ranger turned to his friend and said, "Well, Tonto, this is the end, there's not much we can do." Tonto looked back at the Lone Ranger. "What you mean WE, white man?" ______________________________________________________ Once upon a time,.... Margaret Thatcher and her Cabinet were meeting over lunch to discuss an important bit of impending legislation. "And what will you have, Madam?" asked the waiter, coming over with his notepad. "I'll have the Beef Wellington," replied the Prime Minister promptly, eager to get on with the business at hand. "And, for the vegetables?" continued the waiter politely. Thatcher replied briskly, "They'll have the same." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: These bloomed today, like every December. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jasper Harrison, 47, Edgewater, Florida
Paranoid Florida man was arrested after he called 911 on himself. A Florida man, accused of growing marijuana in a storage unit was arrested after he called 911 on himself. According to the Orlando Sentinel, Jasper Harrison was in the storage unit when he heard a helicopter hovering over the area in Edgewater, Florida. Worried that he’d soon be arrested, he called 911. “I’m the guy they’re looking for,” he told the dispatcher. As it turned out, police weren’t in the area looking for Harrison. Instead, they were there investigating the suspicious but unrelated death of a man on the same street. The helicopter Harrison heard while in the storage unit was that of a television station reporting on the suspicious death, police say. When they responded to the storage unit, police found marijuana growing inside it. He now faces charges of cultivating cannabis within 1,000 feet of a school, and possession with intent to sell. He was released from jail on bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Peter Re: Did I win money from FaceBook Dear Webby, Some too cute looking lady friended me on FaceBook, and told me I had won $5000 on some kind of FaceBook draw. Since I had never heard of any money give-away at FaceBook, I did not respond yet. What should I do? Peter Dear Peter Just tell her to deposit it into your PayPal account. Don't give out any bank information or street address or phone number or email address, just your PayPal address. Since it is just a cheap crook, feel free to get as ornery and obnoxious as you want. Tell her that if she is not a lying crook in Nigeria or Ghana or Russia, to stop her BS and deposit YOUR money into your PayPal account. She will go away. Have FUN! DearWebby A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said, "Zoo or no zoo, both on top, THAT I gotta see!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick and Easy Poached Eggs Fill a pot half way with water and bring to a boil. Spray the inside of a baggie with cooking spray and break one or more eggs into the baggie. Squeeze out most of the air while zipping the baggie closed. Drop the baggie into the pot of water reducing heat to medium/low and cover. I cooked two eggs for 5 minutes but increase/decrease time according to number of eggs being poached. The baggie allows for a good visual check during cooking. When the eggs are done, remove the baggie from the water using tongs. Open baggie carefully - contents will be hot - and simply pour the eggs out. No more stringy whites clinging to the inside of the pot! By oSandi [17] If you don't have a microwave, this method might work OK for you. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Talk about your fruits and nuts! Radical vegans - who avoid any product that comes from animals - are now buzzing about the evils of honey. They claim its production uses the labor of oppressed non-union worker bees, according to a Time magazine report on the growing numbers of American nuts, ahem vegetarians. ___________________________________________________
Why, yes it IS my twisted sense of humor. Why do you ask?
____________________________________________________ This moose be Alaska! ____________________________________________________ A man walks into a bar with a duck and a big bisquit tin. He sets the duck on top of the biscuit box on the bar and the duck begins dancing. The barman finds this rather interesting, as do the rest of the patrons in the bar. They all gather around the duck and watch it for a long time. While everyone is watching the duck dance, they buy more drinks from the bar. By the end of the night, the bar is full of people watching this amazing duck, still dancing and letting out an odd quack now and again. The barman realizes that he hasn't had business this good in a long time. Business is so good, in fact, that he offers to buy the duck from the man. The man tells the bartender that he can have the duck for 500 pounds. The barman thinks it is a bit expensive, but agrees to buy the duck anyway. After selling the duck, the man goes home, leaving a crowded pub watching his dancing duck. Later that night, the man gets a telephone call from the barman, who exclaims that the duck is a great success and that he has earned his money back in the amount of drinks he has sold. Then the barman says, "There is one thing, though. How do you get the duck to stop dancing?" And the man says, "Oh, it's simple. Just take the lid of the biscuit box and blow out the candle." ____________________________________________________
A wood Christmas tree that is truly a work of art.

Today, December 16, in
1653 Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England, 
 Scotland and Ireland. 
1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor 
 off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots were 
 disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation without 
 representation and the monopoly the government granted to the 
 East India Company. 
1809 Napoleon Bonaparte was divorced from the Empress Josephine 
 by an act of the French Senate. 
1835 In New York, 530 buildings were destroyed by fire. 
1838 The Zulu chief Dingaan was defeated by a small force 
 of Boers at Blood River celebrated in South Africa as 
 'Dingaan's Day'. 
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived 
 at Lyttleton, New Zealand. 
1901 "The Tale of Peter Rabbit," by Beatrix Potter, was 
 printed for the first time. 
1940 French Premier Petain arrested Pierre Laval after learning 
 of a plan for Laval to seize power and set up a new government 
 with German support. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of the Bulge began in 
 Belgium. It was the final major German counteroffensive. 
1950 U.S. President Truman proclaimed a national state of 
 emergency in order to fight "Communist imperialism." 
1960 A United Air Lines DC-8 and a TWA Super Constellation 
 collided over New York City, killing 134 people. 
1990 Jean-Bertrand Aristide, a leftist priest, was elected 
 president in Haiti's first democratic elections. 
1991 The U.N. General Assembly rescinded its 1975 resolution 
 equating Zionism with racism by a vote of 111-25. 
1996 Britain's agriculture minister announced the slaughter of 
 an additional 100,000 cows thought to be at risk of 
 contracting BSE in an effort to persuade the EU to lift its 
 ban on Britain. 
1998 The U.S. and Britain fired hundreds of missiles on Iraq 
 in response to Saddam Hussein's refusal to comply with U.N. 
 weapons inspectors. 
1998 Eric Michelman filed the earliest patent for a scroll wheel 
 for a computer mouse. 
1999 Torrential rains and mudslides in Venezuela left thousands 
 of people dead and forced at least 120,000 to leave their homes. 
2000 Researchers announced that information from NASA's Galileo 
 spacecraft indicated that Ganymede appeared to have a liquid 
 saltwater ocean beneath a surface of solid ice. Ganymede, a 
 moon of Jupiter, is the solar system's largest moon. The 
 discovery is considered important since water is a key 
 ingredient for life. 
2000 U.S. President-elect George W. Bush selected Colin Powell 
 to be the first African-American secretary of state.
2001 In Tora Bora, Afghanistan, tribal fighters announced that 
 they had taken the last al-Quaida positions. More than 200 
 fighters were killed and 25 captured. They also announced that 
 they had found no sign of Osama bin Laden. 
2001 Cuba received the first commercial food shipment from the 
 United States in nearly 40 years. The shipment was sent to help 
 Cuba after Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba on November 4, 2001. 
2009 Astronomers discovered GJ1214b. It was the first-known 
 exoplanet on which water could exist.
2015  smiled.


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How to get a more visible cursor 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 15

Thank you, John!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Ohio woman arrested after eating cereal during high speed chase Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 15, in 2000 - New York Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed to accept an $8 million book deal with Simon & Schuster. The book was to be about her eight years in the White House. History ______________________________________________________ A good listener is usually thinking about something else. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) The difference between truth and fiction: fiction has to make sense. --Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up. The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a house-bound 98 year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation. The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?" The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?" The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." Then the rabbi said to the old man, "The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand." The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is the tradition!" ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At one point in my life I had considered joining the Baptist Church. For those of you who don't know, the Baptists practice total body immersion to baptize a person. Luckily I even knew a minister in that faith, having once dated his daughter, and I asked him if he would consider performing the service. He paused a minute or two, gave me a long thoughtful look and said, "Yes,....I could do it, if you're serious about this. However, just a quick dipping won't do it for you. We'll have to find a deep place to anchor you overnight." ______________________________________________________ A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paula Johannessen, 42, Columbus, Ohio
Ohio woman arrested after eating cereal during high speed chase A motorist who was spotted eating cereal as she drove along an Ohio interstate led police on a 30-mile chase that ended with her arrest on multiple criminal charges. According to investigators, Paula Johannessen was spotted driving erratically around 2:30 AM Tuesday on Interstate 70 outside Columbus. After pulling over Johannessen’s car, a Madison County Sheriff’s Office deputy noticed that the 42-year-old was "eating a bowl of cereal as she was driving." After Sergeant Tim Winebrenner told Johannessen that she was stopped for weaving across the road, she “stated that she had been eating her cereal and didn’t mean to go over the lines” according to a criminal complaint. During the traffic stop, Johannessen sped away from the cop, prompting a high-speed chase that moved into a neighboring county. At times driving over 100 mph, Johannessen ran over “stop sticks” that cops deployed to deflate her tires. After her shredded left front tire came off the car, Johannessen continued to drive on the rim. But when the vehicle lost its transmission and became disabled, Johannessen bolted from the auto (though she was quickly apprehended by pursuing officers). Seen above, Johannessen was charged with fleeing or eluding police, a felony, and obstructing justice, a misdemeanor. She is also facing raps for reckless driving and driving with a suspended license. Investigators have not identified Johannessen’s preferred brand of cereal. Johannessen pleaded guilty earlier this year to a felony heroin possession charge, for which she was sentenced to five years probation. A judge also suspended her driver’s license for six months and ordered, “No drugs, no alcohol, no bars.” A court filing notes that if Johannessen violates her probation, she will be sent to state prison for one year.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alicia Re: More visible cursor Dear Webby, Lately I have had more and more trouble seeing my cursor. It has gotten worse since I added a second monitor. How can I fix that? I have Windows 7. Alicia Dear Alicia There are programs that provide different and colorful cursors, however, some of them have a "payload", malware attached or included. Unless you have Malwarebytes running, be extremely careful and read the "agreement" carefully. Before going that far, try the built in options. Click on START Control Panel Ease of Access Make the Mouse easier.... That option may be labelled slightly different, Hit that and you see some examplpe mouse pointers. Select the middle one on the right side: Large Inverting Hit APPLY and then OK. Exit the Control Panel. Now you have a cursor that changes from dark to light depending on the background. You can go a step larger if necessary, but try this size first. Have FUN! DearWebby Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?" "No, she sure didn't," sobbed Jeff. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out." "Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father. "More or less, but maybe I got it mixed up a bit," Jeff groaned. "I said, 'My Dear, you have a face that would stop a clock'!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick and Easy Poached Eggs Fill a pot half way with water and bring to a boil. Spray the inside of a baggie with cooking spray and break one or more eggs into the baggie. Squeeze out most of the air while zipping the baggie closed. Drop the baggie into the pot of water reducing heat to medium/low and cover. I cooked two eggs for 5 minutes but increase/decrease time according to number of eggs being poached. The baggie allows for a good visual check during cooking. When the eggs are done, remove the baggie from the water using tongs. Open baggie carefully - contents will be hot - and simply pour the eggs out. No more stringy whites clinging to the inside of the pot! By oSandi [17] If you don't have a microwave, this method might work OK for you. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An old fellow came into the hospital almost dying due to an infected gallbladder. After what seemed aeons of tests and preparations, the gall bladder surgeon removed the gall bladder without any fuss or problem and had the patient sent up to the post-op ward. The charge nurse there insisted that all patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, even though the head nurse had to raise her mighty voice, once, and keep her stern gaze on him the first three days as two student nurses half carried, half dragged him up and down the hallway. On the fifth day they were able to walk him hangin on to only one nurse, and on the tenth day the nurse noticed that the reason he was hanging on now had not much to do with balance and support any more. After two weeks the patient was ready to go home. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father, telling him he was a miracle worker. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and that they had been lucky to get him into the hospital time. "Oh no,doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Our father hasn't walked in over ten years!" ___________________________________________________
Chuck Norris Christmas Split
____________________________________________________ Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure she'd have no trouble finding a new position, because of the nursing shortage in her area. She e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers and attached her resume to each one. Two weeks later, Catherine was dismayed and bewildered that she had not received even one request for an interview. Finally she received a message from a prospective employer that explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else. It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, how- ever, want to thank you for the meatloaf-lasagna recipe." ____________________________________________________ Ray had just reached his 175th birthday last week. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, "Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 175?" Ray answered, "It was easy. I just never argue with anyone." A reporter shot back, "That's crazy. It had to be something else -- diet, meditation, or *something*. Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 175 years!" The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds. Then he shrugged. "Hmmm. Maybe you're right." ____________________________________________________
People are awesome! Best of the month November 2015.

Today, December 15, in
1654 - A meteorological office established in Tuscany began 
 recording daily temperature readings. 
1840 - Napoleon Bonapart's remains were interred in Les 
 Invalides in Paris, having been brought from St. Helena, 
 where he died in exile. 
1854 - In Philadelphia, the first street cleaning machine 
 was put into use. 
1877 - Thomas Edison patented the phonograph. 
1890 - American Sioux Indian Chief Sitting Bull and 11 other 
 tribe members were killed in Grand River, SD, during an 
 incident with Indian police. 
1939 - "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick 
 based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at Loew's 
 Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien Leigh and 
 Clark Gable. 
1944 - A single-engine plane carrying U.S. Army Major Glenn 
 Miller disappeared in thick fog over the English Channel while 
 en route to Paris. 
1944 - Dr. R. Townley Paton and a small group of doctors laid 
 the groundwork for the Eye-Bank for Sight Restoration. 
1961 - Former Nazi official Adolf Eichmann was sentenced to death 
 in Jerusalem by an Israeli court. He had been tried on charges 
 for organizing the deportation of Jews to concentration camps. 
1964 - Canada's House of Commons approved a newly designed flag 
 thereby dropping the Canadian "Red Ensign" flag. 
1965 - Two U.S. manned spacecraft, Gemini 6 and Gemini 7, 
 maneuvered within 10 feet of each other while in orbit around 
 the Earth. 
1970 - The Soviet probe Venera 7 became the first spacecraft to 
 land softly on the surface of Venus. The probe only survived the 
 extreme heat and pressure for about 23 minutes and transmitted 
 the first data received on Earth from the surface of another 
 planet. 
1978 - U.S. President Carter announced he would grant diplomatic 
 recognition to Communist China on New Year's Day and sever 
 official relations with Taiwan. 
1979 - The former shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left the 
 United States for Panama. He had gone to the U.S. for medical 
 treatment on October 22, 1979. 
1982 - Gibraltar's frontier with Spain was opened to pedestrian 
 use after 13 years. 
1983 - The last 80 U.S. combat soldiers in Grenada withdrew. It 
 was just over seven weeks after the U.S.-led invasion of the 
 Caribbean island. 
1992 - IBM announced it would eliminate 25-thousand employees. 
1992 - El Salvador's government and leftist guerrilla leaders 
 formally declared the end of the country's 12-year civil war. 
1996 - Boeing Co. announced plans to pay $13.3 billion to acquire 
 rival aircraft manufacturer McDonnell Douglas Corp. 
2000 - The Chernobyl atomic power plant in Kiev, Ukraine, 
 was shut down. 
2000 - New York Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed to 
 accept an $8 million book deal with Simon & Schuster. The book 
 was to be about her eight years in the White House. 
2015  smiled.


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What to do when my email address is forged as sender? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 14

For a few days I had a terrible and mysterious pin at the
left knee, and could not figure out what caused it. Friends
had all kinds of helpful suggestions, heat, ice, organic 
cherry juice, and so on. 

I still went for my daily walk. though fopr a couple days
a different route. Then last night I went again the old
route. Getting close to home I stepped off the sidewalk
and onto the street to bypass a frozen puddle.

That reminded me that I had slipped there, done some wild
acrobatics and twerked the moon, but landed back on my feet.
Looking at that frozen puddle I realized that I had simply
put my knee out and just pulled a ligament or something.

Once I had it figured out and knew it was not some 
mysterious, long lasting illness, everything got better
quickly. I am now already walking without any limping.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 14, in 1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his revolutionary Quantum Theory. History ______________________________________________________ We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ The happy couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. The society reporter asked, "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?" "Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," the husband replied. "Murder fequently," the wife offered, "but never divorce." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Great Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since: 1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting 2. it is a major component in acid rain 3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state 4. accidental inhalation can kill you 5. it contributes to erosion 6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes 7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients 8. It is linked to Global Warming He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. Forty-three said yes, six were undecided, and only one knew that the chemical was water. The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?" He feels the conclusion is obvious. ______________________________________________________ Have you heard about the new alcoholic beverage that's on the market now? It's called Bourbon Renewal. After a few drinks your old neighborhood starts to look a lot better. ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tanisha Gilyard, 23, Fort Myers Florida
Fla. woman arrested after she threatened fast-food workers A southwest Florida woman was arrested on Tuesday after police said she become angry over a wrong order at a Fort Myers area Burger King and threatened the workers. Tarnisha Gilyard, 23, placed an order in the drive-through of a Burger King at 6 p.m. Tuesday and called later to say it was made incorrectly, WTSP reports. Police said Gilyard then “returned to the store, threw her bag of food down, and started cursing at workers.” Witnesses told police that Gilyard was “screaming and cursing at workers about the order,” police report. An assistant manager offered to replace the order, which one worker said was a “Crispy Chicken Jr.” plain. According to police, a witness said Gilyard told workers “I’m going to get a gun and shoot people with it,” “I’m gonna get something from my car and get you,” “I’m gonna spray up Burger King” and “I’ll beat the dog right out of you.” Police said Gilyard had a black metal baton with her and “struck a counter area near a cash register” as she screamed curses at the workers. She was arrested and faces two charges of aggravated assault and one charge of marijuana possession.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Catherine Re: Spam using my address Dear Webby, I send mail to myself quite often as a lazy and quick way to sorta file stuff temporaritly. That way I can send memos and ideas from any machine, and file it properly, when I get to my main machine. That seems to work well. Lately, though, I get a lot of spam pretending to be from me. I do have MailWasher, and it works very well, but how do I get it to dump mail, that has my address as the sender, but only if it is phony? Thanks Catherine Dear Catherine A lot of us do that for fast memos or archiving. The trick to use is the same as what I have used with the Humor Letter since about 1994: Consistent subject line start. You may have noticed that the subject line of the Humor Letter always starts with "Humor: ", no matter what the topics are. That allows you to filter it and never delete it, no matter what. Do the same with your "Inter Machine Memos" or whatever you call them. Start the subject line with "` " or some easy symbol and a space. Then make a filter telling MailWasher that IF the sender is (your email address) and IF NOT the Subject line starts with "` ", then mark that mail for deleting. Scoot that filter up to the top. You probably have already white-listed your own address, if not, go ahead and white-list it (Friend). Have FUN! DearWebby A Preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead donkey in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the Preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now the Preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the Preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant & rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?" The preacher paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his response. He was led to say, "Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always notify the next of kin first, since they get to decide what kind of burial they will pay for!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fork to Hang Christmas Stocking My roomie has a lovely fireplace. There is no way to hang her stocking without a hook so I came up with an idea. She has a salad fork that has been broken for a while. With a little packaging tape and 3 minutes, her stocking is now up there temporarily and no one had to go out in the rain for a hanger. Done and Done! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [455] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, where as women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for awhile and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" ___________________________________________________
It's not about the nail
____________________________________________________ Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part." ____________________________________________________ Warning, this is a bad pun: Three French legionnaires were crossing the desert. One looked up and saw a mirage ad said. "By Gar!" The second looked up and say the mirage and said, "By Gar!" The third looked up and said, "Gee, a two gar mirage." ____________________________________________________
I love watching figure skaters and this Canadian team just blew me away, they were so perfectly in sync! I wonder how many hours, days and weeks it took to perfect this routine.

Today, December 13, in
1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and 
 bolt machine. 
1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed 
 his revolutionary Quantum Theory. 
1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight. 
 The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged 
 in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made, 
 the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft 
 for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet. 
1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man 
 to reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days 
 ahead of Captain Robert F. Scott. 
1918 For the first time in Britain women (over 30) voted in 
 a General Election. 
1939 The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations. 
1945 Josef Kramer, known as "the beast of Belsen," and 10 
others were executed in Hamelin for the crimes they committed 
 at the Belsen and Auschwitz Nazi concentration camps. 
1946 The U.N. General Assembly voted to establish the United 
 Nation's headquarters in New York City. 
1959 Archbishop Makarios was elected Cyprus' first president. 
1962 The U.S. space probe Mariner II approached Venus. It 
 transmitted information about the planet's atmosphere and 
 surface temperature. 
1975 Six South Moluccan terrorists surrendered to police after 
 holding 23 people hostage for 12 days on a train near the Dutch 
 town of Beilen. 
1981 Israel annexed the Golan Heights, seized from Syria in war 
 in 1967. 
1983 The U.S. battleship New Jersey fired on Syrian positions in 
 Lebanon for the first time after American F-14 reconnaissance 
 flights were fired on. 
1985 Wilma Mankiller became the first woman to lead a major 
 American Indian tribe as she formally took office as principal 
 chief of the Cherokee Nation of OKlahoma. 
1986 The experimental aircraft Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan 
 and Jeana Yeager, took off from California on the first non-stop, 
 non-refueled flight around the world. The trip took nine days to 
 complete. 
1987 Chrysler pled no contest to federal charges of selling several 
 thousand vehicles as new when Chrysler employees had driven the 
 vehicles with the odometer disconnected. 
1988 The first transatlantic underwater fiber-optic cable went 
 into service. 
1995 AIDS patient Jeff Getty received the first-ever bone-marrow 
 transplant from a baboon. 
1997 Cuban President Fidel Castro declared Christmas 1997 an 
 official holiday to ensure the success of Pope John Paul II's 
 upcoming visit to Cuba. 
1999 U.S. and German negotiators agreed to establish a $5.2 billion 
 fund for Nazi-era slave and forced laborers. 
1999 Charles M. Schulz announced he was retiring the "Peanuts" 
 comic strip. The last original "Peanuts" comic strip was published 
 on February 13, 2000. 
2000 It was announced that American businessman Edmond Pope would 
 be released from a Russian prison for humanitarian reasons. Pope 
 had been sentenced to 20 years in prison after his conviction 
 on espionage charges. 
2001 European Union leaders agreed to dispatch 3,000-4,000 troops 
 to join an international peacekeeping force in Afghanistan. 
2001 The first commercial export, since 1963, of U.S. food to Cuba 
 began. The 24,000 metric tons for corn were being sent to replenish 
 what was lost when Hurricane Michelle struck on November 4. 
2013 The Chinese spacecraft Chang'e 3 became the first spacecraft 
 to "soft"-land on the Moon since 1976. It was only the third 
 robotic rover to land on the moon. 
2015  smiled.


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Fake mil delivery failure alert virus 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, December 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alaskan arrested after cops find "wad" of cash, drugs inside her. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 13, in 1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of the globe. The journey took almost three years. History ______________________________________________________ Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. --- John F. Kennedy ______________________________________________________ Several months after a young man is hired, he is called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asks. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years of experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well," the young man replies, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination, and since it was your accounting department who found out, and not my supervisor, I would say that was good enough." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two fathers-to-be met in the maternity waiting room. "Can you believe this? The first day of our vacation, and she goes into labor!" The second one looks at the first and says, "What do you have to complain about? This is our honeymoon!" ______________________________________________________ ===Thanks to Mary N for this: DearWebby, I had to check this out the minute I got the message. I never knew this was available. Did you????? To all: This is very disconcerting! Now you can see anyone's Drivers License on the Internet including your own. I just searched for my license, and there it was, picture and all. This was something I didn't know you could do. I am not sure I like this info out there for everyone. What do you think? Go to: http://www.license.shorturl.com/ , I looked up yours. Cute! ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chelsea Sperry, 31, Fairbanks, Alaska
Alaskan arrested after cops find "wad" of cash, drugs inside her. An Alaska woman appears to have set the record for the amount of counterfeit currency and narcotics hidden inside body orifices, according to court records. Fairbanks police were dispatched last month to an adult novelty store after a clerk called 911 to report that a couple sought to purchase merchandise with a counterfeit $100 bill. Before cops could get to the Castle Megastore, suspect Chelsea Sperry, 31, left the business with a “large wad of cash” provided by her boyfriend (who waited for police to arrive). Shortly after Sperry drove away from the business, she was pulled over by police who had been given her description by the store employee. When a check revealed that Sperry was driving with a suspended license, she was arrested and transported to the Fairbanks Correctional Center. At the jail, a corrections officer observed Sperry “making furtive movements toward her vagina,” according to a criminal complaint. Sperry was then “put through a body scan,” which revealed that she “had items concealed in her vagina and/or anus.” A female corrections officer subsequently “removed a wad of cash and drugs from inside” Sperry. The haul included six $100 bills, three $50 bills, and seven $20 bills, all of which were counterfeit. The $890 in funny money, however, was supplemented by a genuine $10 bill that “was discovered in Sperry’s anus.” Sperry’s vagina, investigators noted, also held two baggies of methamphetamine, a baggie containing seven morphine sulfate pills, and two baggies containing a “brown tarry substance” that tested positive for heroin. The corrections officer also recovered a “clear plastic baggie” containing 40 smaller baggies that were similar in size to the ones containing the meth and heroin. The smaller baggies, the complaint notes, are “commonly used for the distribution of smaller amounts of heroin and methamphetamine.” Pictured above, Sperry was indicted on felony narcotics and forgery charges, as well as two misdemeanor counts related to driving with a suspended license. Sperry, who is free on $5000 bond, has been arrested twice this year for theft, though charges were subsequently dropped in each case. A police search of Sperry’s boyfriend, Jeffrey Martin, turned up several hundred dollars and a digital scale, though he does not appear to have been charged.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: USPS virus alert Dear Webby, The newest virus circulating is the UPS/Fed Ex/USPS Delivery Failure..... Jim Dear Jim That one used to be popular a couple of years ago, but because most recipients had adequate virus protection, it fizzled. However, the alert about is it still making the rounds. That is quite OK. It reminds people to be vigilant and not fall for any flakey scam from unsolicited mail. If you have MailWasher, it will recognize scams like that and show you that the actual sender is not UPS or Western Union or the post office, but some scammer in Russia. Have FUN! DearWebby The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions." "To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Poaching Eggs A skillet with a lid is needed. Add water to about 1 inch or 1and a half inches. Put the lid on the skillet, and bring the water to a boil. Then reduce the heat to simmer, making certain that the skillet has smoldery, foggy water inside of it, kind of like a "spa." Then take the lid off, and crack the eggs, and gently put them in the "smoldery, foggy" water. Put the lid back on the skillet. Let the eggs "steam" for several minutes. When they are done to your likeness, remove them to a plate or plates. You should now have very pretty poached eggs that are either oval in shape, or round, but not bunched up, and ragged like they often show on tv. Source: I discovered this on my own. By Carol L. from South Bend, IN Personally, I prefer the microwave instructions a day or two ago. Those work well fo me. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any newspapers!" ___________________________________________________
Family of ducks tries to cross highway
____________________________________________________ >From Fred A client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to a veterinary clinic for inoculations. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized." ____________________________________________________ A drill sergeant escorted new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!" Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Sir!" ____________________________________________________
Beautiful homes made from shipping containers.

Today, December 13, in
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left Plymouth, 
 England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of the globe. The 
 journey took almost three years. 
1636 The United States National Guard was created when militia 
 regiments were organized by the General Court of the Massachusetts 
 Bay Colony. 
1642 New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman. 
1809 The first abdominal surgical procedure was performed in 
 Danville, KY, on Jane Todd Crawford. The operation was 
 performed without an anesthetic. 
1816 John Adamson received a patent for a dry dock. 
1862 In America, an estimated 11,000 Northern soldiers were 
 killed or wounded when Union forces were defeated by Confederates 
 under General Robert E. Lee, at the Battle of Fredericksburg. 
1883 The border between Ontario and Manitoba was established. 
1884 Percy Everitt received a patent for the first coin-operated 
 weighing machine. 
1913 It was announced by authorities in Florence, Italy, that the 
 "Mona Lisa" had been recovered. The work was stolen from the 
 Louvre Museum in Paris in 1911. 
1918 U.S. President Wilson arrived in France, becoming the first 
 chief executive to visit a European country while holding office. 
1921 Britain, France, Japan and the United States signed the 
 Pacific Treaty. 
1937 Japanese forces took the Chinese city of Nanking (Nanjing). 
 An estimated 200,000 Chinese were killed over the next six weeks.
 The event became known as the "Rape of Nanking." 
1944 During World War II, the U.S. cruiser Nashville was badly 
 damaged in a Japanese kamikaze suicide attack. 138 people were 
 killed in the attack. 
1964 In El Paso, TX, President Johnson and Mexican President 
 Gustavo Diaz Ordaz set off an explosion that diverted the Rio 
 Grande River, reshaping the U.S.-Mexican border. This ended a 
 century-old border dispute. 
1978 The Philadelphia Mint began stamping the Susan B. Anthony 
 U.S. dollar. The coin began circulation the following July. 
1980 Three days after a disputed general election, Uganda’s 
 President Milton Obote was returned to office. 
1981 Authorities in Poland imposed martial law in an attempt to 
 crack down on the Solidarity labor movement. Martial law ended 
 formally in 1983. 
1982 The Sentry Armored Car Company in New York discovered that 
 $11 million had been stolen from its headquarters overnight. It 
 was the biggest cash theft in U.S. history. 
1988 A bankruptcy judge in Columbia, SC, ordered the assets of the 
 troubled PTL television ministry sold to a Toronto real estate 
 developer for $65 million. 
1989 South African President F.W. de Klerk met for the first time 
 with imprisoned African National Congress leader Nelson Mandela, 
 at de Klerk's office in Cape Town. 
1991 Five Central Asian republics of the Soviet Union agreed to 
 join the new Commonwealth of Independent States. 
1991 North Korea and South Korea signed a historic non-aggression 
 agreement. 
1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people must receive a hearing 
 before property linked to illegal drug sales can be seized. 
1993 The European Community ratified a treaty creating the European 
 Economic Area (EEA), to go into effect January 1, 1994. 
1994 An American Eagle commuter plane carrying 20 people crashed short 
 of Raleigh-Durham International Airport in North Carolina, 
 killing 15 people. 
1995 China's most influential democracy activist, Wei Jingsheng, who 
 already had spent 16 years in prison, was sentenced to 14 more years. 
1998 Puerto Rican voters rejected U.S. statehood in a non-binding 
 referendum. 
2000 U.S. Vice President Al Gore conceded the 2000 Presidential election 
 to Texas Gov. George W. Bush. The Florida electoral votes were won by 
 only 537 votes, which decided the election. The election had been 
 contested up to the U.S. Supreme Court, which said that the Florida 
 recount (supported by the Florida Supreme Court) was unconstitutional. 
2000 Seven convicts, the "Texas 7," escaped from Connally Unit in Kenedy, 
 TX, southeast of San Antonio, by overpowering civilian workers and prison 
 employees. They fled with stolen clothing, pickup truck and 16 guns 
 and ammunition. 
2001 The U.S. government released a video tape that showed Osama bin Laden 
 and others discussing their knowledge of the terrorist attacks on the 
 United States on September 11, 2001. 
2001 Israel severed all contact with Yasser Arafat. Israel also launched 
 air strikes and sent troops into Palestine in response to a bus ambush 
 that killed 10 Israelis. 
2001 Gunmen stormed the Indian Parliament and killed seven people and 
 injured 18. Security forces killed the attackers during a 90-minute 
 gunbattle. 
2001 NBC-TV announced that it would begin running hard liquor commercials. 
 NBC issued a 19-point policy that outlined the conditions for accepting 
 liquor ads. 
2001 Michael Frank Goodwin was arrested and booked on two counts of murder, one count of conspiracy and three special circumstances (lying in wait, murder for financial gain and multiple murder) in connection to the death of Mickey Thompson. Thompson and his wife Trudy were shot to death in their driveway on March 16, 1988. Thompson, known as the "Speed King," set nearly 500 auto speed endurance records including being the first person to travel more than 400 mph on land. 





2015  smiled.


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Clickbook 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a California man arrested after he car jacks FedEx truck, but did not know how to drive it. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 12, in 1792 In Vienna, 22-year-old Ludwig van Beethoven received one of his first lessons in music composition from Franz Joseph Haydn. History ______________________________________________________ When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. --- Marquis de la Grange (1639 - 1692) ______________________________________________________ A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back? Are you crazy???" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A knight and his men return to their castle after a hard month of riding. "How are we faring?" his king asks. "Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all month, burning the towns of your enemies in the west." "What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!" "Oh." replies the knight. "Well, you do now." ______________________________________________________ Rina puts a book on the librarian's desk and says, "This book has no story and way too many characters." The librarian says, "Thanks for bringing the phone book back!" ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Albert Luna, 19, Coachella, California
California man arrested after he car jacks FedEx truck, but did not know how to drive it. A 19-year-old man is behind bars today for allegedly trying to carjack a FedEx delivery truck. Albert Luna was being held in lieu of $60,000 bail at the Riverside County jail in Indio, where he was booked on suspicion of carjacking. The attempted carjacking was reported about 3:45 p.m. Saturday in the 85000 block of Araby Avenue, sheriff's Sgt. John Clark said. A delivery driver was parked in front of a home, unloading packages, when Luna allegedly got into the truck and demanded the keys, the sergeant said. The driver gave the suspect the keys and ran to a nearby home to call authorities, Clark said. The suspect, meanwhile, allegedly started the truck, but didn't know how to drive it, so he ran away, the sergeant said. Luna was identified and arrested during a follow-up investigation on Sunday, Clark said.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Book printer Dear Webby, Once upon a time you mentioned a printer utility for printing big PDF files in paperback format for easier reading on airplanes and buses. Do you still have that link? Ron Dear Ron Yes, of course! ClickBook is a fantastic tool that is indispensable. With Clickbook you can print in any format you can dream of. I use it to print in paperbook size (Half page) It shuffles things and tells you to hit GO, then it prints one side. Then it tells you to drop the output into the Input tray without turning anythging. Then it runs the back sides. After that, you drive some staples through the center, and fold it.All pages are in proper sequence, printed front and back. Book is ready. You just glue a cute cover around it, and it is done. It boggles the mind how it shuffles the pages so that they all are in proper sequence front ant back, when they are folded. Clickbook has over 170 different layouts to choose from. You can even do tri-fold brochures and CD case inserts. Have FUN! DearWebby A man with a heart condition inherits a million dollars. His family, concerned that the shock might trigger a heart attack, asks his minister to tell him about the windfall. The minister goes to the man's house and, after pleasantries, asks him, "What would you do if you inherited a million dollars?" "Well, pastor," the man says, "I think I would give half of it to your church." At that, the pastor keels over dead. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Peeling Boiled Eggs Years ago when I cooked a lot, I read a tip for preventing eggs from cracking while being boiled. The method was simple; punch a hole in one end of the eggs with a pin before dropping them into the water. This method works very well. Note: I always peel my eggs under running water. Once water gets between the shell membrane and the egg, the shell slides off easily, sometimes in as little as three or four large pieces. By likekinds [113] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced a soccer enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square that has only room for one letter?" ___________________________________________________
Snowball fight
____________________________________________________ Two young men are speculating on how long they might live, and one says he thinks he has a long life ahead of him. "After all," he says, "my grandfather lived to be 96." "Ninety-six? What finally got him?" the other man asks. "Liquor and women." "Well, that just goes to show you," snickers the friend, "both will get you in the end." "Well actually, no, it's not what you think," says the first man. "Toward the end, Grandpa couldn't get either one, so he just laid down and died." ____________________________________________________ Two highway patrolmen stop a driver for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they are writing up the ticket, one trooper turns to the other and asks, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replies, "I don't know." "What are we going to do?" the first one asks. "If we spell it wrong, the judge will dismiss the charge." "Well," says his partner, "why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Waco?" ____________________________________________________
7 Day Forecast

Today, December 12, in
1791 The Bank of the United States, also known as the First Bank, 
 opened for business in Philadelphia, PA. 
1792 In Vienna, 22-year-old Ludwig van Beethoven received one of 
 his first lessons in music composition from Franz Joseph Haydn. 
1800 Washington, DC, was established as the capital of the US. 
1896 Guglielmo Marconi gave the first public demonstration 
 of radio at Toynbee Hall, London. 
1899 George Grant patented the wooden golf tee. 
1900 Charles M. Schwab formed the United States Steel Corporation. 
1901 The first radio signal to cross the Atlantic was picked up 
 near St. John's Newfoundland, by inventor Guglielmo Marconi. 
1915 The first all-metal aircraft, the German Junkers J1, made 
 its first flight. 
1917 Father Edward Flanagan opened Boys Town in Nebraska. The 
 farm village was for wayward boys. In 1979 it was opened to girls. 
1925 The "Motel Inn," the first motel in the world, opened in 
 San Luis Obispo, CA. 
1937 Japanese aircraft sank the U.S. gunboat "Panay" on China's 
 Yangtze River. Japan apologized for the attack, and paid 
 $2.2 million in reparations. 
1946 A United Nations committee voted to accept a six-block tract 
 of Manhattan real estate to be the site of the UN's headquarters. 
 The land was offered as a gift by John D. Rockefeller Jr. 
1951 The U.S. Navy Department announced that the world's first 
 nuclear powered submarine would become the sixth ship to bear 
 the name Nautilus. 
1955 It was announced that the Ford Foundation gave $500,000,000 
 to private hospitals, colleges and medical schools. 
1955 British engineer Christopher Cockerell patented the first 
 hovercraft. 
1963 Kenya gained its independence from Britain. 
1983 Car bombs were set off in front of the French and U.S. 
 embassies in Kuwait City. Shiite extremists were responsible 
 for the five deaths and 86 wounded. Total of five bombs went 
 off in different locations. 
1984 In a telephone conversation with U.S. President Reagan, 
 William J. Schroeder complained of a delay in his Social 
 Security benefits. Schroeder received a check the following day. 
1985 248 American soldiers and eight crewmembers were killed when 
 an Arrow Air charter crashed in Gander, Newfoundland after takeoff. 
1989 Britain forcibly removed 51 Vietnamese from Hong Kong and 
 returned them to their homeland. 
1989 Leona Helmsley was fined $7 million and sentenced to four 
 years in prison for tax evasion. 
1991 At the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center (SLAC) in California, 
 the first web server outside of Europe was installed. 
1995 The U.S. Senate stopped a constitutional amendment giving 
 Congress authority to outlaw flag burning and other forms of 
 desecration against the American flag. 
1995 Two French airmen shot down over Bosnia arrived home after 
 almost four months of being held captive by the Bosnian Serbs. 
1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, the international terrorist known as 
 "Carlos the Jackal," went on trial in Paris on charges of killing 
 two French investigators and a Lebanese national. He was 
 convicted and sentenced to life in prison. 
1997 The U.S. Justice Department ordered Microsoft to sell its 
 Internet browser separately from its Windows operating system to 
 prevent it from building a monopoly of Web access programs. 
2000 Timothy McVeigh, over the objections of his lawyers, abandoned 
 his final round of appeals and asked that his execution be set 
 within 120 days. McVeigh was convicted of the April 1995 truck 
 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Fedal Building in Oklahoma City, OK, 
 that killed 168 and injured 500. 
2001 Gerardo Hernandez was sentenced to life in prison for being the 
 leader of a Cuban spy ring. His conviction was based on his role in 
 the infiltration of U.S. military bases and in the deaths of four 
 Cuban-Americans whose planes were shot down five years before. 
2001 In Beverly Hills, CA, actress Winona Ryder was arrested at 
 Saks Fifth Avenue for shoplifting and possessing pharmaceutical 
 drugs without a prescription. The numerous items of clothing and 
 hair accessories were valued at $4,760. 
2002 North Korea announced that it would reactivate a nuclear power 
 plant that U.S. officials believed was being used to develop weapons.
2015  smiled.


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Book printing software 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh drunk hit-and-run driver, who was turned in by her On-Star calling the cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 11, in 1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis took place in New England. History ______________________________________________________ Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC) Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ A couple came to the police department, wanting to dispose of some ammunition. They handed the desk officer a wooden box and explained that it contained two bullets an uncle had given them as souvenirs from World War II. "We didn't know what to do with them," the woman explained. "So all these years, we've kept the bullets in the locked drawer of the china cabinet, away from our children." The officer assured the couple he'd dispose of the bullets safely. But when he took one out of the box, the top of the bullet popped off, revealing a strange blackish substance. His suspicions aroused, the officer removed the top of the other bullet and found a hard white substance. There was no doubt about it. The bullets were souvenir salt-and-pepper shakers. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?" ______________________________________________________ "Say, Ralph, you want to hit the golf course this afternoon?" "Sorry, I can't." "Why not?" "The doctor told me I can't play." "Oh, he's seen your game?" ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cathy Bernstein, PORT ST. LUCIE Floriduh
Floriduh drunk hit-and-run driver, who was turned in by her On-Star calling the cops Police responded to a hit-and-run in the 500 block of Northwest Prima Vista Boulevard on Monday afternoon. The victim, Anna Preston, said she was struck from behind by a black vehicle that took off. Preston was taken to the hospital with back injuries. Around the same time, police dispatch got an automated call from a vehicle emergency system stating the owner of a Ford vehicle was involved in a crash and to press zero to speak with the occupants of the vehicle. The person in the vehicle, Cathy Bernstein, told dispatch there had been no accident, that someone pulled out in front of her and that she was going home. She said she had not been drinking and didn't know why her vehicle had called for help. Police went to Bernsteins's home on Northwest Foxworth Avenue and saw that her vehicle had extensive front-end damage and silver paint from Preston's vehicle on it. Bernstein's airbag had also been deployed. Police said Bernstein again denied hitting another vehicle, saying she had struck a tree. After further discussions, police said Bernstein admitted to the hit-and-run. She also admitted that she had talked to someone at Ford and told them she had not been in an accident. It was later discovered that Bernstein had been involved in another accident prior to the one with Preston and was fleeing from that incident. Bernstein was arrested and taken to the St. Lucie County Jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Book printer Dear Webby, Once upon a time you mentioned a printer utility for printing big PDF files in paperback format for easier reading on airplanes and buses. Do you still have that link? Ron Dear Ron Yes, of course! ClickBook is a fantastic tool that is indispensable. With Clicklbook you can print in any format you can dream of. I use it to print in paperbook size (Half page) It shuffles things and tells you to hit GO, then it prints one side. Then it tells you to drop the output into the Input tray without turning anythging. Then it runs the back sides. After that, you drive some staples through the center, and fold it.All pages are in proper sequence, printed front and back. Book is ready. You just glue a cute cover around it, and it is done. It boggles the mind how it shuffles the pages so that they all are in proper sequence front ant back, when they are folded. Clickbook has over 170 different layouts to choose from. You can even do tri-fold brochures and CD case inserts. Have FUN! DearWebby A meat counter clerk, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer. "That really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?" Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the freezer, paused a moment, then took the same one out again. "This one," he said faintly, " will be $6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. "I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Scrape Crumbs off Tabletop If your table is beautifully decorated and would be difficult to undo just to shake it out, use a credit card or business card to scrape those crumbs into a dust pan or some type of container. I also use the same method when removing pins after quilting, although I admit that the crumbs are much more cooperative! By Jean Geisel R. [1] A small, handheld, rechargeable car vacuum works even better. To pick up pins, use a magnet inside a pin cushion or in a ziplock baggie turned inside out. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone. "I went to get a haircut," was the reply. "But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?" "Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then." ___________________________________________________
Christmas Ad
____________________________________________________ An attractive young girl, chaperoned by a very old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination," said the young girl. "All right," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue." ____________________________________________________ The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed. She asked for a little warm milk to sip so a nun went to the kitchen to warm some milk. Remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more, then before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother, Mother" the nuns cried, "Give us some wisdom before you die!" She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face, and pointing out the window she said, "Don't EVER sell that cow!" ____________________________________________________
Interesting photos of this colorful earth from above.

Today, December 11, in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis 
 took place in New England. 
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 
1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, 
 which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges 
 of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent 
 to the guillotine the following January. 
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person in America 
 to have a tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic 
 for the dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, 
 was the anesthetic. 
1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It was 
 the first American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity. 
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine 
 exhibitors. 
1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life 
 of President-elect Herbert Hoover. 
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry 
 American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the 
 Duke of Windsor. 
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome withdrew Italy from the 
 League of Nations. 
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. 
 The U.S in turn declared war on the two countries. 
1946 The United Nations International Children's Emergency 
 Fund (UNICEF) was established by the U.N. General Assembly.
1961 The first direct American military support for South 
 Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army 
 helicopters arrived in Saigon. 
1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first 
 time in Toulouse, France. 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation 
 creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would 
 be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic 
 waste dumps. 
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st 
 fight to Trevor Berbick. 
1986 The government of South Africa expanded its media 
 restrictions by imposing prior censorship and banning 
 coverage  of a wide range of anti-apartheid protests. 
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were 
 sold at Christie's for Ł82,500. 
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace 
 when tons of illegal fireworks exploded. 
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 
 years of marriage. 
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for 
 blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 
 in New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary 
 of the First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of 
 speech in the U.S.). 
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets 
 entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to 
 restore control over the breakaway republic. 
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when 
 leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a 
 free-trade declaration known as "The Miami Process." 
1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the 
 entire genetic blueprint of a tiny worm. 
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month 
 journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared 
 in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because 
 scientists had failed to convert English measures to 
 metric values. 
2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for 
 Bison ranches. 
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would 
 withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile 
 Treaty with Russia. 
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as 
 part of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain 
 evidence against an international software piracy ring. 
2009 The game Angry Birds was released. 
2015  smiled.


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Sundays in an Excel spreadsheet graph 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award AND a Darwin Award goes to a Floriduh burglar, who fed himself to an alligator Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 10, in 1520 - Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1845 - British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. History ______________________________________________________ The Swedish Christmas Goat in Gaevle is up and the web cam is online live at http://m.visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken The webcam is at the top. ______________________________________________________ It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. --- Mark Twain "It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted." --- Mary O'Connor ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As usual, Hank was working a few hours extra after the rest of the staff had gone home. Just before he too left, his secretary called him and asked him to give her a lift home because she had a drink too many at the bar across the street from the office. He gladly did and congratulated her on having enough sense to not drive herself when impaired. Although nothing happened in the car, same as nothing happened between him and his secretary at the office, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who was more than jealous enough without any provocation or reason. Later that night Hank was drivng his wife to a baby shower party when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window. When they arrived a short time later and she was about to get out of the car, she asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" ______________________________________________________ Overheard after church, one young teen girl to another: `I got tired of being fouled all the time and the official not calling on those cretins. Then this humongous girl elbowed me and knocked me down. Well, I was fed up. I got up and I decked her. Of course, I got sent out. So I'm sitting there and this girl on my team comes up to me and says, "I'm Baptist and I just wanted to let you know that God will forgive you for hitting that girl.". Then I said to her, "Well, I'm Presbyterian and `MY God' knows she deserved that!".' ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ Gaevle Goat in Sweden, clip from the webcam ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Matthew Riggins, 22, Brevard County Floriduh
Floriduh burglar fed himself to an alligator A suspected burglar jumped into a Florida lake apparently hiding from law enforcement before an 11-foot alligator killed him, investigators said Monday. His hand and foot reportedly turned up inside the animal's stomach. Brevard County Sheriff's Maj. Tod Goodyear says 22-year- old Matthew Riggins told his girlfriend he would be in Barefoot Bay to commit burglaries with another suspect. Authorities received calls Nov. 13 about two suspicious men in black walking behind homes and investigated. Riggins was reported missing the next day. Goodyear said sheriff's divers recovered Riggins' body 10 days later in a nearby lake, and that the injuries suggested the alligator had pulled him below the surface. "He hid in the wrong place," resident Laura Farris told Bay News 9. Authorities said Riggins drowned and the alligator, which behaved aggressively toward divers, was trapped and euthanized. Florida Today reports a second person was taken into custody.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eloise Re: Spreadsheet Sunday Dear Webby, You know more about spreadsheets than my professor does, and you don't contradict yourself twice a minute. I followed your instructions for the lady who wanted a spreadsheet with graph for her weight without any problem, and even dressed it up nice and colorful. Now I wanted a bar to indicate Sundays. The professor got all flustered and told me it was a dumb idea to watch my weight differently on Sundays. I guess he didn't know. Can you please tell me? Thanks Eloise Dear Eloise At the top of the next free column, for example D, paste: =IF(WEEKDAY(A1,1)=1,25,"") What that does is IF the date in A1 is a day 1 (Sunday) then put 25 into D1, otherwise put nothing in there. Copy that down colund D as far as you want. Weekday (A1,1) checks the date in A1, and uses schedule 1 which has Sunday as day 1. The IF wrapped around that checks if we get a 1 (Sunday), and if we do, it puts a 25 into that cell, IF not, then it puts nothing into that cell. "" is nothing. If you were checking for a Saturday, you would use 7 =IF(WEEKDAY(A1,1)=7,25,"") In the graph, right-click, Source Data, add a series. Smear Column D as far down as the other columns, hit ENTEr, and all Sundays have a bar from 0 to 25. Right-click one of them and give it a nice Sunday color. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A hunter in Africa ran across a pigmy standing next to a huge dead elephant. The hunter then asked, "How does a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?" Said the pigmy, "My club did it." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied, "There are about 60 of us." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Potato Peel Crisps My husband calls this the epitome of Thriftyfun recipes. When you peel your potatoes, don't throw out the skins. Instead, make this super easy, super yummy appetizer. It only takes a few ingredients. As a bonus, potato skins contain all the best health benefits, packed with B vitamins, vitamin C, potassium and calcium. Score! Approximate Time: 25 minutes Ingredients: leftover potato peels 1 tsp oil salt, pepper (any seasonings you like) 1 Tbsp Parmesan cheese chives (optional) Steps: Preheat oven to 400°F. I use my toaster oven. Toss skins, oil and seasonings together and lay in a thin layer on a cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes. I like to broil them for a few minutes at the end to get the super crispy! Remove, sprinkle with Parmesan and optional chives. So good! By attosa [145] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Selma and Irving receive an invitation in the mail. Since it had been many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. Everything looked fine, until they read the last line on the invitation. Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this 'RSVP' mean?" Selma was at a loss and simply could not remember. Finally, she cries out: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!" ___________________________________________________
Walking on air One of my favorite Christmas videos
____________________________________________________ David told me he overheard a couple of guys talking about scary things. Guy #1: "You'll never believe this. If you play an AOL 7.0 CD *backwards* you can hear all kinds of evil and Satanic messages!" Guy #2: "That's nothing. If you play it forwards, it installs AOL !" ____________________________________________________ >from dteeple A Hotel guest calls the Front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window." The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter." The man replies, "Listen, the window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter." ____________________________________________________
I never thought of carving bananas!

Today, December 10, in
1520 - Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy 
 demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused 
 and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 
1845 - British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first 
 pneumatic tires. 
1869 - Women were granted the right to vote in Wyoming. 
1898 - A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the 
 Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 
1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for helping 
 mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 
1941 - Japan invaded the Philippines. 
1941 - The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse 
 were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 
1948 - The United Nations General Assembly adopted its 
 Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 
1953 - Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine 
 with an investment of $7,600. 
1958 - The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in 
 the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami 
 on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 
1964 - In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received 
 the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1982 - The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries 
 in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 
1983 - Raul Alfonsin was inaugurated as Argentina's first 
 civilian president after nearly eight years of military rule. 
1984 - South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the 
 Nobel Peace Prize. 
1990 - The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, 
 a long-acting contraceptive implant. 
1992 - Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he 
 called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. 
 However, he refused to resign. 
1993 - The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the 
 repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 
1994 - Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, 
 NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the 
 Unabomber. 
1995 - The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital 
 of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in 
 the former Yugoslavia. 
1996 - South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new 
 democratic constitution, completing the country's transition 
 from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy. 
1998 - Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international 
 space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 
1998 - The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional 
 clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 
1999 - After three years under suspicion of being a spy for 
 China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was 
 charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. 
 Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted 
 data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 
2003 - The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, 
 opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi 
 reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies 
 from winning subcontracts. 
2007 - Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first 
 elected female president. 
2015  smiled.


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Cox net not delivering newsletters 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 9

Thank you, Frank!!!
Thank You, Jim!


>From Sailor
Dell C1760nw Workgroup LED Color Laser Printer 1200 dpi 
Brand New Free Shipping
    $129.79
    Buy It Now
    Free shipping 
   on e-bay right now  --- 129.79 with shipping and no taxes !!!! 

That looks like a steal of a deal!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunken Saudi tourist, who exposed himself, spilled cocaine on Aspen taxi driver Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 9, in 1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," was published in England. History ______________________________________________________ It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. --- Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Lillemor Don't loan your tools I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night (as I often do) and I noticed a diaper-headed individual with a knife, sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden. Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel a few times, killing him quite thoroughly. He then dug a grave, put the body in it and covered it. Astonished, I got back into bed. As I tossed and turned my wife said, "You're upset, what is it?" “You'll never believe what I've just seen,” I said. “That SOB next door still has my shovel.” ______________________________________________________ While walking in the park one morning, Bill found a couple of brand new golf balls by a bench. They obviously must have fallen out of a pocket or bag when somebody rested there the day before. "Waste not, Want not" he thought as he slipped the balls into the pocket of his shorts, intending to give them to a co-worker who was a golf nut. Later, on his way home, he stopped at a pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him saw the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked,... with her eyes gleaming lustfully. "Golf balls," he replied. "Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once!"
Heirloom
Big Book Of Classic
Christmas Stories
2nd Edition with more
stories and pictures
$10 instant download
Instant download in PDF format for hassle free viewing and printing.
By the way, there are NO refunds for downloaded e-books,
even if they use up all your printer ink or CDs.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Majed Alhamad, 23, Los Angeles, California
Drunken Saudi tourist exposed himself, spilled cocaine on Aspen taxi driver A Saudi Arabian man allegedly cursed an Aspen taxi driver and exposed himself to the man before spilling cocaine on him during a ride to the St. Regis Hotel last weekend, according to court documents. Majed Alhamad, 23, later admitted he was intoxicated and told Aspen police officers “he wanted to go ‘extreme’ while in Aspen,” according to an affidavit filed in District Court on Friday. The 60-year-old driver for High Mountain Taxi told police that Alhamad — whose booking sheet lists him as a student in Los Angeles — offered him cocaine “a number of times” on the ride early Friday morning to the St. Regis, but the driver refused, the affidavit states. “(The driver) stated this angered Alhamad,” according to the affidavit written by an Aspen police officer. “(The driver) said that Alhamad used vulgar language and derogatory racial terms ... and ‘f---ing American’ while in the vehicle.” The taxi driver also said Alhamad “exposed his genitals to him” and “opened the baggie of cocaine and spilled it on him,” the affidavit states. “(The driver) stated that he did not want anything to happen to the individual but felt the need to report the incident to law enforcement,” according to the officer’s affidavit. When officers spoke with Alhamad and his friend, a sergeant recognized them because he’d helped them get a taxi back to their hotel earlier in the night. Alhamad admitted to buying the cocaine for $100 from someone on the street he didn’t know, the affidavit states. “Alhamad stated he knew it was not real cocaine and stated it was baby powder,” according to the affidavit. “I asked Alhamad how he knew it was not cocaine and he said it smelled like baby powder and he had done cocaine in the past.” An officer tested the cocaine baggie and received a “presumptive positive” on it for cocaine, according to the affidavit. Alhamad admitted to using derogatory words toward the driver but said he didn’t spill the white powder on him, according to the affidavit. The officer wrote that Alhamad smelled of alcohol. “Alhamad said he wanted to go ‘extreme’ while in Aspen but will have to pay for this incident,” the affidavit states. Alhamad was charged with felony possession of cocaine and harassment. If he ever goes back to Saudi Arabia, he is likely to face dire consequences.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Ghostery Dear Webby, Now I have a BIG problem with receiving your daily newsletter. I've not received it the last 4 - 5 days. I utilize Mailwasher and have for years. Your newsletter is flagged as 'never mark for delete'. Late last week I installed the following.... https://www.ghostery.com/ and checked the column to block at 'trackers' because I get tired of seeing all the ads, etc. I don't know how that would stop mail from going to the Cox server but I'm not a genius about those things. I'm getting emails from friends and since I don't do much on line shopping I cannot tell whether or not businesses are blocked. The last business email was from Amazon on Dec. 4 about the same time I installed the program. I'm able to see you newsletter and vote daily but I do like to get my personal edition. If I need to delete ghostery.com I will but it has been nice not to get all that junk. Perhaps I can accept some tracking but I don't know which to change and which to keep. Need your assistance if possible. If you feel it is my ISP how do I go about getting their co-operation and have any others with a Cox.net ISP complained. How will I know if you respond IF my ISP has blocked your address? Perhaps a note in Wednesdays letter would tell me. Peace Frank Dear Frank You are in the list, and your personalized newsletter goes out towards you every night. Ghostery is mostly a tracking system reporting on you, and does a bit of cookie control to make you think it is a benefit to you. Unlike Malwarebytes it does not stop real malware. If you want to dump cookies, CrapCleaner has done that quite nicely for fifteen years, maybe more, without any snooping or reporting whatsoever. However, Ghostery just reports on your browsing to the advertising industry. I don't see how it would interfere with your email. Browsing and email are totally separate, like highways are separate from railroads. If your email stopped on the same day as you attached the Ghostery snoop&report add-on, that is probably just a coincidence. Have a look in the MailWasher Recycle Bin. If the Humor Letter is NOT in there, then it got dumped before it ever got to you. In that case, pitch a temper tantrum at your ISP. Please tell me if and when you get this letter. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see, my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong, would go outside and take a walk. By the time Jenny died thirtyfive years ago, my walks had become a habit and it was no big deal to keep them up." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cook Frozen Dinner Rolls in the Microwave Just like many of the other foods I warm daily in the microwave, frozen dinner rolls are great hot out of the microwave as well. I have the highest wattage microwave and, on thirty seconds, these yeast rolls are hit and ready to be enjoyed. Note that they will be very hot when coming out of the microwave, so exercise due caution as you would with any other food coming out of the microwave. By Robyn [373] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sarah's car was unreliable and she called Sam for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sam got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out," Sarah said. "Can you come to get me?" "Where are you?" Sam asked. "I'm in the drugstore," Sarah responded. "And where's the car?" Sam asked. Sarah replied, "It's in here with me." ___________________________________________________
Twelve Days of Christmas (funny)
____________________________________________________ It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising on the net) were the main reason for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw by a slightly overweight lady, knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I'm not opening the store!" ____________________________________________________ Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ____________________________________________________
Canadian artist Calvin Nicholls creates extraordinary 3D sculptures using paper.

Today, December 9, in
1793 "The American Minerva" was published for the first time. 
 It was the first daily newspaper in New York City and was 
 founded by Noah Webster. 
1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," 
 was published in England. 
1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company. 
1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball-bearing 
 roller skate. 
1907 Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the 
 Wilmington, DE, post office. 
1914 The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire. 
1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops led 
 by Viscount Allenby. 
1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first 
 major offensive in North Africa. 
1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM radio 
 advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR in 
 New York City. 
1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy. 
1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained 
 his world middleweight boxing title. 
1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other 
 men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society. 
1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known 
 as "Univac 1107." 
1960 The first episode of "Coronation Street" was screened 
 on ITV. 
1962 "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world 
 premiere in London. 
1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion 
 seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from 
 having to default. 
1978 The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League 
 (WBL) was played between the Chicago Hustle and the 
 Milwaukee Does. 
1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members 
 received sentences in prison for their roles in the 
 "dirty war" in which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared." 
1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising) 
 against Israeli occupation. 
1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the 
 Jabliya refugee camp. 
1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential 
 election in the country's history. 
1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's 
 first free elections in 50 years. 
1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iraq 
 began arriving in the U.S. 
1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a 
 single currency in 1999. 
1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced 
 their separation. 
1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of 
 lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. 
 U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George. 
1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee 
 delivery of international food aid. 
1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 
 Minuteman II missile silos that were marked for 
 elimination under an arms control treaty.
1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed 
 repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope. 
1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists 
 produced a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 
 3 million watts. 
1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the 
 British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland. 
1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal 
 allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the 
 UN trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990. 
1999 The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian 
 diplomat that had been caught gathering information with 
 an eavesdropping device at the U.S. State Department. 
2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after 
 losing $4 billion in the previous two years. It was the 
 sixth largest bankruptcy filing. 
2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 
 300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch etchings, 
 a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's mother, were 
 valued around $518,000. 
2015  smiled.


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Quality color laser printer, that is not expensive 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kansas armed robber, who killed a store owner, and claimed he was entitled to 'self-defense' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 8, in 1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. History ______________________________________________________ When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision. --- Lord Falkland (1610 - 1643) Confusion is always the most honest response. --- Marty Indik ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really weird people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.' 'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that.' 'Oh,' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside me apartment all day and night, playing me bagpipes.' ______________________________________________________ Homonyms are similar sounding words, and they CAN be clean ones, like Soap and Hope. As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset." She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by De’Anthony A. Wiley, 20, Shawnee, Kansas
Armed robber kills store owner, claims he was entitled to 'self-defense' The widow of a Kansas gun-shop owner killed in a violent shootout with four armed robbers in January doesn't mince words when it comes to the issue of guns and the role they play in self-defense. “The fact of the matter is, society has gotten to the point where we have to defend ourselves," Becky Bieker to KCTV-TV. De’Anthony A. Wiley claims he had no choice and was entitled to return fire in "self-defense" while trying to flee the ensuing gun battle with the store's owner, Jon Bieker. Court papers filed on Thursday by Wiley's attorney seek protection by statutory immunity against his felony murder charge, reports WDAF-TV. Wiley claims after he communicated his intent to surrender, Bieker continued firing upon him and his three accomplices. Court papers say Wiley was shot in the spine and paralyzed, leaving him unable to escape. Wiley's attorney argues because he exhausted reasonable means to escape, he was entitled to use deadly force in self-defense. Prosecutors say Wiley and his cohorts plotted for several days before entering "She's a Pistol", which specializes in providing personal protection items for women. The men apparently thought Becky Bieker was working alone when they pointed a gun at her and started shouting demands. They punched her, breaking her nose. One of the men jumped over the counter to stuff a backpack with guns. They didn't see Jon Bieker in the back room. Surveillance video captured the entire gun battle inside the store. As Becky falls to the floor, Jon bursts from the back firing his weapon. Jon managed to shoot all three of the suspects. One of the injured suspects fled along with the getaway driver. Wiley remained in the store and continued to exchange gunfire with Jon, who was killed when a bullet pierced his aorta. Becky regained her composure and emptied her weapon into Wiley, critically injuring him. Prosecutors said Wiley, who has admitted robbing the store, was identified on the surveillance tape as the man who killed Jon. His co-defendants, Hakeem Malik, Londro Patterson and Niquan Midgyett, have pleaded not guilty and will stand trial on charges that include first-degree murder. Police believe the men were also behind a string of convenience store armed robberies in the area in the weeks before the shootout, reported KCTV-TV. Wiley's defense lawyers responded by filing the bombshell motion that he was "entitled to use deadly force" against the Biekers. The claim reads in part: “… Wiley, withdrew from any physical confrontation with the Biekers and he specifically communicated his intent to surrender to Jon Bieker. Despite that communication, Mr. Bieker continued to advance and/or fire upon the defendant and the codefendants. The defendant was shot in the spine and paralyzed, herefore unable to further escape. As such, the defendant was entitled to use force to protect himself."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ric Re: Laser printer for home business Dear Webby, Tech question: can you recommend a color laser printer (wireless)for home/small bussiness? And nor break the bank? Thank you, Ric Dear Ric I would recommend the DELL C1760nw It has WiFi and color and is good for 30,000 pages per month. It sells for $199, plus shipping. DELL C1760nw If quality is not important, and if you don't mind toner cost to be more than the printer, check out your local Staples store and see what they got on Special. Last time I was there they had a Brother color laser for $149, and the toner for it $249. Keep in mind, printers usually ship with near empty toner cartridges, and you will need new ones very soon. If you have an old Multi-Function ink squirter, don't heave it into the dumpster. Most likely you can use the scanner and fax function for another ten years. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ So if the world is truly getting "smaller", how come the US Postal rates keep going up? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Rice with Half the Calories I've read about this on multiple platforms and just saw it on TV again, so I thought I would share this method with you. Scientists have proven that by simply cooking your rice with some coconut oil, it changes the rice's digestible starch to indigestible starch, which prevents much of the rice from being metabolized into glucose, cutting the calories by about 60%. That's huge! The only difference is, you must let it sit in the fridge before you eat it. Here's what you need: 1 cup white rice 2 tsp. coconut oil 1 3/4 cups water Bring water to a boil in a pot. Add coconut oil and rice to pot. Cover, lower heat, and cook for 20 to 25 minutes. Let rice cool, then chill in the fridge for at least 12 hours. Reheat before serving. Source: Many, many internet searches and TV shows. ThriftyFun Note: Here is an article with information about the scientific research. http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/ ... 021915.php By attosa [144] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk." What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly he scribbled his definitive answer: 4. Available in attractive containers. ___________________________________________________
Sent by Lillemor: When the lights go out
____________________________________________________ Imelda reported for her University PHD final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am rechecking my answers, and half of them are wrong !" ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Andy Rooney On Cripes: "My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?" ____________________________________________________
These artists create something beautiful with canvas.

Today, December 8, in
1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American 
 Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to 
 Pennsylvania. 
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate 
 Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, 
 was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 
1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and 
 became the first world heavyweight champion. 
1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared 
 war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese 
 attacked Pearl Harbor. Britain and Canada also declared war 
 on Japan. 
1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese 
 mainland to Formosa due to Communists pressure. 
1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the US. 
1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found 
 guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under 
 a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism. 
1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held 
 the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up 
 with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later 
 he was shot to death by police. 
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine 
 publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry 
 Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was 
 awarded $200,000 for emotional distress. 
1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in 
 the Israeli-occupied territories began. 
1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender 
 their control over the government and accept a minority role 
 in a coalition Cabinet. 
1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet 
 national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance 
 to be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The 
 act was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as 
 unconstitutional. 
1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. 
 troops landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation 
 Restore Hope.
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American 
 Free Trade Agreement. 
1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, 
 but continued to detain about 300 others. 
1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the 
 O.J. Simpson murder trial. 
1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement 
 that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation would 
 merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a 
 person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic 
 violation. 
1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. The 
 file contained over 1,300 pages. 
1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data networking 
 business for $5 billion cash. 
1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was played. 
 Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 
1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. 
 had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, not a lone assassin. 
1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an economic and 
 political confederation. 
2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that he 
 planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player 
 at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player in 
 U.S. pro sports. 
2015  smiled.


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Why ignore the bottom part of a graph 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Illinois man, who punched his girlfriend, hid in vacant apartment, blocked jail cell toilet and masturbated Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 7, in 1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux Servel Corporation. History ______________________________________________________ A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. --- Joey Adams ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During the cold war we had a series of radar sites known as the "Distant Early Warning" system or "DEW" line, a string of big huge radar stations in Northern Canada, powerful enough to microwave a goose at 5 Miles, advanced enough to look over the North Pole into Russia, accurate enough to tell the difference between a thrown rolling pin and a missile. Gradually the satellites took over the surveillance job and the DEW line got abandoned and just sat there rusting away quietly. Only recently some contractors were sent up there to dismantle the sites and bury or cart away the remains. One mechanic stationed there asked his buddy at home to arrange a date for him when he got leave. The buddy did so, but told the girl that she'd better be careful, as the guy had been working on the DEW line for 6 months. She replied, "No problem. I've been working on my 'DON'T line' for six years." ______________________________________________________ Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the barn just before it burned, and provide you with a new one of comparable worth, up to a maximum of fifty thousand dollars." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "In THAT case, I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband RIGHT friendly NOW!" ______________________________________________________ Aetna smoking without a permit ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matthew Campus, 23, Wilmington, Illinois
Illinois man punched girlfriend, hid in vacant apartment, blocked jail cell toilet and masturbated A Wilmington man started Thanksgiving morning by punching his girlfriend and hiding out from the cops in an empty apartment, then blocked up his holding cell toilet with clothes, masturbated, tried to escape from a moving squad car and bit an officer, police said. By early afternoon, 23-year-old Matthew Campus had ended up in the Will County jail. He appeared in court Friday morning but his bond information was not available. Officers were sent to Campus’ County Road home and spoke to his girlfriend, who reportedly said he punched her several times “during an argument over alcohol.” Campus’ sister witnessed the attack, police said. Campus hid out in a vacant apartment in his building, police said, but he was hunted down by two officers. The cops carted Campus off to the police station but once he got there, he “started threatening officers and their families with physical violence,” police said. “While being placed into a holding room Campus spit on the officers. Once in the holding room Campus removed his clothing and began to masturbate and continued to make threats to the officers. Campus then packed some of his clothing into the toilet of the holding room and attempted to flood the room.” At this point, the cops loaded Campus into a squad car so they could take him over to the county jail. “While being transported, Campus attempted to escape by breaking a portion of the prisoner transport partition and trying to climb to the rear storage area and door hatch on Route 53 in Elwood,” police said. “The Elwood Police Department responded to assist.” At the jail, “Campus continued to threaten officers and deputies,” police said, and he was taken to Presence St. Joseph Medical Center. “Campus continued to be aggressive towards paramedics and medical staff, using profanities and spitting on them and officers,” police said. “Campus damaged equipment at the medical center and bit a police officer.” Campus was returned to jail after a brief stay at the hospital.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Why not show lower 130 in graph? Dear Webby, Who told you about my lower 130? Just kidding. I don't understand why deduct the 130 and not show it in the graph. What is the reasoning behind that? Wouldn't that distort the graph? Lynn Dear Lynn There is no change in the lower 130, so we can ignore that. It is as if you were simply covering up that part of the graph and only looked at the top. By only looking at the changing tops, and stretching the colums in the graph so that the few pounds of change are stretched the full height of the graph, you see the actual changes greatly and equally emphasized. 4 - 5 pounds change are a tiny wiggle of 150, but a significant jump of 20. That is all we are doing. We justb cover up the bottom 130 and zoom the upper balance to the full height of the graph. Unlike what the Gullible Warming grant recipients do, who can't predict next Tuesday's weather but claim the polar ice caps will melt in 2050 unless they get more grant money, you simply zoom onto and visualize the changes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ How can you tell if people are married ? "You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Very Easy Poached Egg This is a very easy way to poach an egg in one minute that turns out perfect every time. Approximate Time: 90 seconds Yield: 1 serving Ingredients: 1/2 cup water 1 egg Steps: Put water in a glass cereal bowl. Add 1 egg. Cover and microwave for 1 minute. Pour water off the egg through a slotted spoon. Source: Myself By CaroleeRose [4] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The teacher asked: What do you think your mom and dad have in common? Little Johnnie: "Both don't want no more kids." ___________________________________________________
Sent by Lillemor: When the lights go out
____________________________________________________ Arthur goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $49.00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go." The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $49.00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1,399.00." "Oh, no you don't," says the Arthur, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says `$49.00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want." "Okay," says the agent, who takes his money then grabs a baseball bat from under the desk and hits him on the head. Arthur wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean! He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another guy on the raft. "What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us. Do we get meals and booze?" "I don't think so," responds his new-found travelling companion, "they didn't last year, and if you don't have any booze in your back pocket, you are out of luck." ____________________________________________________ The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The medical man examined him and backed away, saying: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal." "Could you give me a pen and paper?" said the businessman. "Do you want to write your will?" "No, I want to make a list of all the people with overdue invoices, and then I am going out for a few bites." ____________________________________________________
The ring dance.

Today, December 7, in
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France. 
1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri became 
 the first referee to officiate from inside a boxing ring. 
1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 
 150-yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. 
 He went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 
1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The 
 Electrolux Servel Corporation. 
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was 
 attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack 
 resulted in the U.S. entering into World War II. 
1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people. 
 It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, 
 W. Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire. 
1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's 
 assets. They never forgave them for that.
1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last 
 U.S. moon mission. 
1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E. 
 Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. 
 The man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards. 
1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months 
 in exile. 
1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of 
 Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray 
 by the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash. 
1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the 
 first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a 
 prison in Huntsville, TX. 
1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with 
 an Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for 
 takeoff. The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people 
 aboard the DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 
1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a 
 fellow passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest 
 Airlines jetliner. 
1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major 
 earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake 
 measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 
1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the 
 plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 
1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law which
 required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours before 
 terminating their pregnancies. 
1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman opened 
 fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train. 
1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S. government 
 had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in secret at its 
 Nevada test site. 
1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into Jupiter's 
 atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership before it 
 was presumably destroyed. 
1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-ever 
 shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 
1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by fighting 
 between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 
2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movie theaters were bombed 
 within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed 
 and over 200 were injured. 
2015  smiled.


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