Reset toner status 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, January 6

Thank You, Doug!

______________________
>From Lee
Recently I've seen strange tabs appear in my Firefox browser
saying my OS needs updating urging me to download something.  It
is from some strange site with a cloudfront.net address.  I
delete the tab and move on.  But I hope others aren't falling for
it.

By the way I use Malwarebytes Premium and do regular checks with
spybot.

Happy New Year,
Lee
______________________



Today's Bonehead Award: 
Serious Bimbo Malfunction allegedly sent 
159K texts after single date, threatened 
to ‘make sushi’ of man’s kidneys

______________________________________________________
Today, January 6 in
1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and 77,000
Allied casualties. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage the morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged. --- Abraham Lincoln When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) ______________________________________________________ Driving home from church one Sunday, the father turned the radio to a country and western station. "How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights, bar rooms and broken hearts." Knowing his son preferred more modern music, the dad asked, "Well, what's your music about?" "That's the beauty of it," the son said. "You just don't know!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From GCF We took the family to one of those restaurants where the walls are plastered with movie memorabilia. I went to see the hostess about reserving a table. When I returned, I found my 11-year-old daughter staring at a poster of Superman standing in a phone booth. She looked puzzled. "Doesn't she know who Superman is?" I whispered to my husband. "Worse," he replied, "she doesn't know what a phone both is." ______________________________________________________ Lynx kitten ventured onto Tim's porch in Alaska _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jaqueline Ades, 33. Phoenix, Arizona Serious Bimbo Malfunction allegedly sent 159K texts after single date, threatened to ‘make sushi’ of man’s kidneys A woman accused of bombarding a man with 65,000 text messages after a single date is now believed to have sent more than twice that amount. According to court documents obtained by the Arizona Republic, then 31-year-old Jaqueline Ades, of Phoenix, sent the victim more than 159,000 texts – many of them threatening – over a 10-month period starting in July, 2017. “I’d wear ur fascia n the top of ur skull n ur hands n feet,” one of the alleged texts read. Another read, “I’d make sushi outta ur kidneys n chopsticks outta ur hand bones,” according to police. Ades told investigators they met on a site called Luxy, which advertises that it can connect users with “verified millionaires.” In July 2017, Ades was found parked outside of the victim’s Paradise Valley home, police said. Officers found Ades still outside the victim’s home when they arrived and told her to leave, officials said. Shortly after, the man started to receive threatening text messages from the suspect. Police received a similar report in December from the same residence, but officers were unable to locate her. On April 8, the victim called a detective a third time, saying he was out of the country, but saw Ades in his home while checking his home surveillance video. When officers arrived at the home, the woman was taking a bath, police said. Body camera video obtained in a public records request by the Arizona Republic allegedly shows her telling an officer, “I guess that I made up a whole scenario in my head where I live here, so I came here and pretended that’s what was happening.” A large butcher knife was discovered on the passenger’s seat of her car, court paperwork said. She was taken into custody and charged with trespassing. Police noted in her arrest record that she showed signs of mental illness. After Ades was released from jail, she allegedly started sending more threatening text messages to the victim — some of the messages alluded that “harm may come to him,” according to KNXV. Less than three weeks later, the victim called authorities to report receiving multiple threatening text messages from her, court documents said. The man also explained that they met on a dating website, and after one date Ades began stalking and harassing him. The victim said that she sent about 500 text messages to him a day, court documents said. In one of Ades’ messages, she allegedly stated, “…Don’t ever try to leave me…I’ll kill you…I don’t wanna be a murderer.” She also said that she wanted to wear his body parts and bathe in his blood, court paperwork said. Ades is being held without bond at the Maricopa County Jail after pleading not guilty to charges of stalking and criminal trespassing. Her trial is due to begin in early February.
From: Michael e: Reset Toner status Dear DearWebby, One more thing you might want to tell your readers about laser printers: About a year and a half ago, my Brother printer complained that I needed to replace the black toner. I googled for how to reset the message without replacing the cartridge, and found a page that showed exactly how to do it. I have printed many hundreds of pages since then, without replacing the black toner. I have no idea how much longer this “empty” toner will last, but I’m not going to replace it until it is actually out. The process to reset the “toner empty” indicator varies between printers, and is not possible with some, but for any that do allow it, I highly recommend trying it. Aloha, -mkr Dear Michael Yes, some printers like those from Brother, count the pages and when you have printed enough to theoretically deplete the toner, they whine about it, If you just print orders or receipts, that use very little toner, the container may still be half full. They don't weigh the toner container, just use the counter. It is sort of similar to the orange idiot light in a car telling you to go to service after a certain number of miles. With some printers, like the ones from DELL, you have to take the chip from the toner container and replace it. Companies that sell toner refills, sell those chips for around $10. It is definitely worth googling about toner for your particular printer, before you spend money. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man is waiting in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women. The usher comes along and says that he has two seats together. Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man. "Let them go first. You wouldn't want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?" The man says, "No, sir. I did that once, and I've been sorry ever since."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker. "I win!" said Johnson. Henderson threw down his cards. "That's it! I've had it! Johnson is cheating!!!" "How can you tell?" Phillips asked. "Those aren't the cards I dealt him!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thawing Frozen Locks "Vegetarian" - An old Indian word meaning "poor hunter". Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Animals behaving oddly in 2018
___________________________________________________ >From Nan I REALIZED the impact of computers on my young son one evening when there was a dramatic sunset. Pointing to the western sky, David said, "I wish we could click and save that!" ___________________________________________________ We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our 28-member family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and light bulbs. "Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!" "Don't look where?" my brother asked. "There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web site!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Chuck WHILE I WAS SERVING as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, La., my son and namesake was also serving there. His two-month-old son, whose name was the same as ours, was receiving medical treatments at the base hospital. I went on sick call one morning, and as the doctor reviewed my file, he looked at me in disbelief. "Are you Curtis E. Chaffin?" he asked. When I answered yes, he told me, "It says here that you turn blue when you cry." ___________________________________________________

Today January 6 in
0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the Battle of
Ashdown. 

1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans. 

1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of Cleves,
his fourth wife. 

1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph for the
first time. 

1896 The first American women’s six-day bicycle race was held at
Madison Square Garden in New York City. 

1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people were dying
from starvation. 

1900 Off of South Africa, the British Navy seized the German
steamer Herzog. The boat was released on January 22, 1900. 

1930 The first American diesel-engine automobile trip was
completed after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to New
York City, NY. 

1942 The first commercial around-the-world airline flight took
place. Pan American Airlines was the company that made history
with the feat. 

1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and 77,000
Allied casualties. 

1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China. 

1952 "Peanuts" debuted in Sunday papers across the United States.


1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major offensive,
known as Operation "Deckhouse V", in the Mekong River delta. 

1982 William G. Bonin was convicted in Los Angeles, CA, of being
the "freeway killer" who had murdered 14 young men and boys. 

1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was presented
with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. It was the first
occurrence of a repeat winner of the award. 

1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right leg by
an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four men were later
sentenced to prison for the attack, including Tonya Harding's ex-
husband. 

1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit around
the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, in an effort to
find water under the lunar surface, on July 31, 1999. 

1999 The 106th U.S. Congress opened. The first item on the agenda
was the impeachment proceedings of U.S. President Bill Clinton.
The trial was set to begin January 7, 1999. 

2004 In the United Arab Emirates, construction began on the Burj
Khalifa skyscraper. Upon completion it was the world's largest
building. 

2018  smiled.


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Why do lasers take so long to start? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, January 5

Thank You, Doug!


Today's Bonehead Award: 
Assault on workers at McDonalds

______________________________________________________
Today, January 5 in
1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a new daily
minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. Anonymous, often attributed to Dan Quayle ______________________________________________________ A listener called the disc jockey on the air at our radio station to ask about the upcoming lunar eclipse. "The eclipse can be seen at 1:30 in the morning," the DJ told her. "That late?" she snapped. "Why can't they schedule these things earlier so kids can enjoy them too?" "We don't want everybody in traffic to stare at the moon instead of watching for you and the kids on the road." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ ONE DAY after a heavy snowfall, this announcement appeared on the bulletin board in the nurses lounge of my local hospital: "Student nurses will please refrain from ever again using this institution's sterile bedpans for makeshift snow sleds." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A three-year-old in the congregation regularly watched football games with his father. So much so, that he knew some of the signals the referee makes. On a recent Sunday, as the pastor raised his hands high to offer a blessing, the child interrupted the service by leaping to his feet and shouting, "Touchdown!" ______________________________________________________ Is he groping her front or her back? _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Daniel Taylor, 40, St Petersburg, Floriduh Assault on workers at McDonalds Assault at McDonalds The customer seen in a viral video accosting a female McDonald’s employee allegedly kicked a second worker in the stomach as he was being escorted out of the Florida restaurant on New Year’s Eve, according to police who arrested him on a pair of battery charges. Daniel Taylor, 40, was in the St. Petersburg restaurant around 7 PM Monday when he reached across the front counter and grabbed worker Yasmine James by the collar and “jerked her forward.” Yasmine is much shorter than Taylor. A video of the incident, seen above, shows James punching Taylor in an attempt to loosen his grip. After letting go of James, Taylor snaps his fingers at a McDonald’s manager and says, “Excuse me, sir. Gimme a refund.” When James later reappears at the counter, Taylor says, “And I want her ass fired right now.” As alleged in court filings, as Taylor was being escorted out of the restaurant by McDonald’s management, he kicked worker Tateona Bell in the stomach as she was standing near the exit door. The confrontation, cops says, “was captured on video.” Seen above, Taylor was arrested on two misdemeanor battery counts and booked into the Pinellas County jail (where he remains locked up in lieu of $1000 bond). A judge has ordered him to stay away from McDonald’s and have no contact with James or Bell. Taylor, listed as a transient in arrest affidavits, may have been under the influence of alcohol during his McDonald’s meltdown, cops reported. Taylor’s rap sheet includes convictions for lewd and lascivious behavior, passing bad checks, driving without a license, and failure to appear in court. Chances are good that Taylor will get tuned up in jail by McDonalds customers, who don't like it when boneheads assault young McDonalds workers.
From: Teddie Re: Why is a laser so slow? Dear Webby, Why does it take so much time before a Laser printer starts printing? I need one for the counter, because those ridiculous ink squirters are too expensive to operate, and they break down in half a year. Teddie Dear Teddie Lasers use a toner, which is basically a powder made from hard wax, magnetic powder and color pigment. The built in magic deposits the dry powder exactly where it needs to be, and then the hot fuser roller melts the toner so that it flows into the paper. What takes time is to heat up that fuser roller. If you print again in a few minutes, it will still be hot and won't take long to get to the right operating temperature. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for Texans?" One student's response: "Remember the alimony!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When I was a child, I remember my Mom telling me, "Son, when you grow up, you can marry any girl you please." When I became a young man, I learned the sad fact was that I could not please many of them. Actually, I STILL have that problem! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thawing Frozen Locks If a lock outside has stopped working in cold weather, it might be frozen. Try heating it with a hair dryer until you are able to turn the key. You can also heat the key with a lighter or match before using. Be careful as the key will get hot. Thriftyfun.com If it is your car lock, a zip-lock baggie filled with hot coffee and held against the lock for 60 seconds, will thaw it out quite nicely, without burning your fingers. DearWebby ____________________________________________________
How the Smithsonian Helped Sleuth Out the True Identity of a Pair of Dorothy's Ruby Slippers
___________________________________________________ SITTING IN HIS CAB waiting for a fare, my friend's husband, William, watched as a torrential downpour left lake-size puddles just off the curb of the busy street. Then the back door opened and a customer got in. As William asked the destination, the would-be passenger exited through the other door, successfully avoiding the puddles. "Thanks," she said. "Chivalry isn't dead after all." ___________________________________________________ >From Mary I HAVE a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
MY 50-SOMETHING friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular "Ask Jeeves" site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it." As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "Did Aunt Helen go to Heaven or to Hell?" ___________________________________________________

Today January 5 in
1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition led
by Benedict Arnold. 

1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to offer
piggy-back rail service which was the transportation of farm
wagons on trains. 

1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm
Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became known
as Roentgen Rays in Europe and as X-rays in America. 

1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond called
for a revolt against British rule. 

1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for the very
first time. 

1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a new daily
minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. 

1925 Mrs. Nellie Taylor Ross was sworn in as the governor of
Wyoming She was the first female governor in the U.S. 

1933 In California, construction of the Golden Gate Bridge began.


1944 The London "Daily Mail" was the first transoceanic newspaper
to be published. 

1948 Warner Brothers-Pathe showed the very first color newsreel.
The footage was of the Tournament of Roses Parade and the Rose
Bowl football classic. 

1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two legs for
the first time. 

1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the development of
the space shuttle. 

1987 U.S. President Ronald Reagan underwent prostate surgery. 

1993 The state of Washington executed Westley Allan Dodd. It was
America's first legal hanging since 1965. Dodd was an admitted
child sex killer. 

1996 Yahya Ayyash, a member of the Hamas in Israel, is killed by
a booby-trapped cellular phone. 

1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono died in skiing accident. 

2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, crashed a small
plane into a building in Tampa, FL. Bishop was about to begin a
flying lesson when he took off without permission and without an
instructor. 

2018  smiled.


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When shouold you switch to a Laser mprinter? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, January 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Today's Bonehead Award: 
Indiana toddler left in freezing car in 
‘soaked’ diaper while mom was inside bar

______________________________________________________
Today, January 4 in
1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist
Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) Imagination is more important than knowledge. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ >From Elsa AS A NEW federal employee, I felt a combination of excitement and anxiety about meeting the strict standards of discretion and respect that our government imposes on its workers. Fearful of making a costly mistake, I decided to read up on procedures and standards on the federal Office of Personnel Management web page. I'm not sure if I was relieved or worried when I clicked on one page and found: "Ethics: Coming Soon!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future politician? She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tiffany Hebling, 29, Starke County, Indiana Indiana toddler left in freezing car in ‘soaked’ diaper while mom was inside bar Officers with the Knox City Police Department responded to O’s Tap on Main Street around 2 a.m. Sunday after someone spotted the child in a car that wasn’t running. Police say the temperature was 25 degrees. According to a police report obtained by WKVI, the baby’s diaper was soaked and no baby food, bottle or diapers were found in the diaper bag or car. Police say Tiffany Hebling, 29, was inside the bar. She was arrested and charged with neglect of a dependent and criminal recklessness. The baby was checked out by medics and released to her father. Police are reviewing the bar’s surveillance video to determine how long the baby was left alone in the car and how hard to throw the book at her.
From: Elsie Re: Ink or Laser printer Dear Webby, You mentioned a number of pages per month one time, that would be time to switch from ink to laser printers. But I forgot what that number was. And it probably has changed in the meantime. What is that number nowadays? Elsie Dear Elsie, if your old inkjet is still OK for fax and scanning, then you can buy a cheap single function network laser printer, and the magical number drops to one tenth of a case of paper per month. Toner has come down in price, but ink has gone up. It is so ridiculously expensive that some companies give you the ink jet printer free or almost free, so that they can hold you for ransom with the ink. During the first year you will feel paranoid about when your toner will run out. Keep in mind, most stores like Staples or BestBuy will sell Lasers with a cheapscate Mr Grinch type toner sample, that will run out shortly after you leave the store. Ignore that and get a proper toner replacement. THEN you will see how long it will last, and you will be pleasantly surprised. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The woman needed encouragement to keep pedaling the exercise bike in her gym. So my friend, the gym manager, said, "Close your eyes and imagine you're riding along Broadway in New York City. It will be more interesting." Inspired, the woman cycled on, but after a minute she stopped. "What's wrong?" asked my friend." "The traffic light's red," she replied.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Being in the bee removal business, I'm used to frantic phone calls, like the one from the woman whose home was infested with bees. "You don't understand," she said, explaining why she was so upset, "I have two small children here." "I do understand," I reassured her. "I have six children of my own." "Oh," she said, now calmer. "I guess you don't have the 'birds' part down yet." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Tax Write Offs for Home Businesses If you work from home, be sure to take advantage of any tax deductions that are available to you. For example, if you set up an office in your home that is only used for business purposes, you can write off the space on your tax return. Thriftyfun.com Above all, save any and all even vaguely related receipts! Without a receipt, it does not count. However, with a receipt you can write off an allowance to junior as "Snow Removal", as long as he shoveled the driveway to the (home) office, or "Landscaping" if he mowed the lawn. If you provide coffee to "employees" and visitors, you can buy it in bulk and also write it off, IF you save the receipts. You or your accountant can always dump invalid receipts, but you can't do anything about the ones you forgot to save. DearWebby ____________________________________________________
The Internet's most viewed videos of the year.
___________________________________________________ The day a friend of mine was promoted, he arrived home to be greeted by his wife saying, "Welcome home, Colonel! "My dear, you needn't call me Colonel," he teased, "a simple Sir will do." For quite some time after, she addressed him as Simple Sir. ___________________________________________________ A doctor, received an emergency call from a patient: She had a fly in her ear. He suggested an old folk remedy. "Pour warm olive oil in your ear and lie down for a couple of minutes," he said. "When you lift your head, the fly should emerge with the liquid." The patient thought that sounded like a good idea. But she had one question: "Which ear should I put the oil in?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, tell me which company bears the slogan, JUST DO IT?" And John answered, "Mom." ___________________________________________________

Today January 4 in
1850 The first American ice-skating club was organized in
Philadelphia, PA. 

1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 

1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was
published by "Billboard" magazine. 

1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British
Fifth Army in Italy. 

1948 Britain granted independence to Burma. 

1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist
Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 

1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick Mills. 

1957 "Collier’s" magazine was published for the last time. The
periodical was published for 69 years. 

1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from its
orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 

1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without
conductors and motormen. 

1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13 million. 

1974 U.S. President Nixon refused to hand over tape recordings
and documents subpoenaed by the Senate Watergate Committee. 

1984 Wayne ‘The Great One’ Gretzky scored eight points (four
goals and four assists) for the second time in his National
Hockey League (NHL) career. Edmonton’s Oilers defeated the
Minnesota North Stars, 12-8. The game was the highest-scoring NHL
game to date. 

1991 The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to condemn
Israel's treatment of the Palestinians in the occupied
territories. 

1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to buy S-
300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 

1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the
Norwegian oil tanker Joelm. The fishermen had been lost at sea
for 35 days after the engine of their vessel quit working. 

1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in as
Minnesota's 37th governor. 

2007 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of
Representatives. She was the first woman to hold the position. 

2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai Tower)
opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. 

2018  smiled.


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Free Interior Design program 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, January 2

Thank you, Clyde!!!


Today's Bonehead Award: 
Cowboy boot-wearing racist kicked black 
baby boy onto supermarket floor

______________________________________________________
Today, January 2 in
1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon 
Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. --- Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. --- Miss Piggy ______________________________________________________ >From Ada MY 12-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER asked me, "Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I need it for a school project." I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was. A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created. The title of their project was "The oldest thing in my house." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ COLLECTED COMMENTS OF COLLEGE STUDENTS He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high. Help! I've fallen asleep and I can't wake up! His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame. Textbook is confusing ... someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it. This class was a religious experience for me ... I had to take it all on faith. The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him. Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material. Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing - it's a great stress reliever. Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose - spraying in all directions - no way to stop it. He knows the facts, but doesn't seem to understand why or how they occur. Philosophy might be interesting for a profesor, who is scared of reality. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St.Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie, and answered, "1,228." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Riff Trace, 31, Wichita, Kansas Cowboy boot-wearing racist kicked black baby boy onto supermarket floor A cowboy boot-wearing white supremacist kicked a one year-old black baby in the back and sent him tumbling to a supermarket floor, police said. Jhavii Whitaker was attacked from behind by Trace Riff, 31, as Trace screamed the N-word at the baby and his 11 year-old sister. Recalling the incident at a Dillon's supermarket in Wichita, Kansas, Sunday, Jhavii's mother Lashantai Whitaker said: 'I heard a thud like a loud thud, and I'm thinking it's something that fell off a shelf or something. One year-old Jhavii Whitaker was kicked in the back by a racist and tumbled to the floor while shopping with his mother and sister on Sunday 'But my daughter started to scream, so I turned around, and she was picking my son off the ground. He was screaming to the top of his lungs.' Lashantai, who is pregnant, was walking just ahead of her children when she heard the commotion, and turned around to hear her daughter screaming that Jhavii had been kicked. The impact had sent the little boy crashing face-down onto the floor, with Riff then alleged to have tried to run away. He was apprehended by shocked eyewitnesses who pinned him to the ground, with Riff reportedly screaming more racist slurs, and claiming to be a white supremacist. Lashanta told KSN: 'He was just referring to us as the N-word and just making it known that he was a white supremacist and repeatedly saying it over and over. 'What person is sitting around at the Dillon's waiting to attack children?' She added: 'I'm hoping that they give him time, and it doesn't happen to somebody else's child.' Riff, who has numerous previous convictions including DUI and domestic violence, was arrested and charged with ethnic intimidation, battery and resisting police. He has since been released on $3,500 bond, with no conditions, to the horror of his alleged victim's family.
From: Kay Re: Free interior design program Dear Webby, I am looking for a safe free download program to design rooms in my new home. For instance, new flooring, carpet etc. There are several offered on line, but not sure if they are safe. Thank you for all of your really useful information in you daily letter. Hope you have a blessed, happy and healthy New Year. Kay I am not familiar with any of those design programs. Google for Interior Design programs. You will probably find a few comparative reviews. By the way, stay away from carpets except at the entrance door, where you take your muddy shoes off, and in the bedroom to cut down the noise you make. For the rest of the house use cushion vinyl. Then you can use those flying saucer vacuum and mop robots. And most emphatically INSIST that the vinyl is pulled up 4 inches at every wall, instead of floor boards or trim, that creates black lines unless your maid scrubs off the black line on hands and knees. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
An Australian entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman. "Where are you from, pal?" asked the Scotsman, after they had chatted for a while. "I'm from the finest country in the whole wide world," said the Australian. "Are you?" said the other, "you have a funny accent for a Scotsman."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Last summer my wife and I met a couple at a restaurant. After lunch, the women decided to go shopping, and I invited the man to go sailing. While we were out on the water, a storm blew up. The tide had gone out, and we were down wind trying to work our way back through a narrow channel. At one point the boat grounded and we had to climb overboard and shove with all our might to get it back in deeper water. As my new friend stood there, ankle deep in muck, the wind blowing his hair wildly, icy rain streaming down his face, he grinned at me, and with unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Serving Wine My niece's class assignment was to interview a senior citizen about his or her life, so she asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?" "I'd have to say the moon walk," I replied. She looked disappointed. "That dance was so important to you?" Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The 10 Weirdest Science Stories of 2018
___________________________________________________ A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The caller said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone. Screeeech!" ___________________________________________________ >From Ella I used to live in New Brunswick, New Jersey, the home of Rutgers University. The new flock of kids attending college always includes those who need a little help with everyday chores they themselves never did before, such as laundry or grocery-shopping. I was in the dairy aisle for some eggs. As usual, I opened the carton to check them over before putting them in my cart. Beside me, a young man did the same to his carton ...then leaned toward me and asked, "What are we looking for?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Judge: I thought I told you I didn't want to see you in this court again. Defendant: I told the policeman that, but he didn't believe me. ___________________________________________________

Today January 2 in
1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered
to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella
I. 

1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge was
opened to traffic. 

1859 Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of Practical
Etiquette." 

1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church,
was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 

1879 Thomas Edison began construction on his first generator. 

1882 The Standard Oil Trust agreement was completed and dated.
The document transferred the stock and property of more than 40
companies into the control of nine trustees lead by John D.
Rockefeller. This was the first example of what became known as a
holding company. 

1890 Alice Sanger became the first female White House staffer. 

1892 Ellis Island opened as America's first federal immigration
center. Annie Moore, at age 15, became the first person to pass
through. 

1900 U.S. Secretary of State John Hay announced the Open Door
Policy to prompt trade with China. 

1900 The Chicago Canal opened. 

1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 

1929 The United States and Canada reached an agreement on joint
action to preserve Niagara Falls. 

1935 Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the kidnap-murder
of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was found guilty and
executed. 

1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese
forces during World War II. 

1953 "The Life of Riley" debuted on NBC-TV. 

1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 

1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in
Cuba. 

1971 In the U.S., a federally imposed ban on television cigarette
advertisements went into effect. 

1974 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring all
states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The law was
intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an embargo imposed
by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal speed limits were
abolished in 1995. 

1983 The musical "Annie" closed on Broadway at the Uris Theatre
after 2,377 performances. 

1991 Sharon Pratt Dixon was sworn in as mayor of Washington, DC.
She was the first black woman to head a city of that size and
prominence. 

1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over
three years. 

1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep
inflation in check and promote confidence. 

2004 NASA's Stardust space probe collected samples from the comet
Wild 2. The samples returned to Earth on January 15, 2006. 

2008 The price of oil hit $100 per barrell for the first time. 

2018  smiled.


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Computer won't shut down 




Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, January 1

Happy New Year, !

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Maine Homeowner Finds Intruder Watching TV, 
Wearing His Clothing

______________________________________________________
Today, January 1 in
1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen
Square (China). It did not go over well. Some people are still 
in jail.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
On the global warming hoax: It's all because of Bush's poor energy policy, that the people listened to and believed Al Gore! --- Hillary Clinton "Love is being stupid together." --- Paul Valery The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. --- Bertrand Russell Don't judge men's wealth or godliness by their Sunday appearance. --- Benjamin Franklin Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men pass for wise. --- Francis Bacon ______________________________________________________ Tombstones: Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903--Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go. On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery , Nova Scotia : Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the Good Die Young. In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 In a Ribbesford, England , cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, and the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife, and the Devil sent him Anna. In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising. A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange. In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. In a Silver City , Nevada , cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, dig six feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny. In a Hartscombe, England cemetery: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God. In a cemetery in England : Remember man, as you walk by, as you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be. Remember this and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you, I'll not consent until I know which way you went. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "You have proven to yourself that you are in truly awesome shape. If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. "My recruiter." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Derek Tarbox, 35, Standish, Maine Maine Homeowner Finds Intruder Watching TV, Wearing His Clothing A Maine man is facing a number of charges after authorities say he broke into a Waterboro home, grabbed a bite to eat, took a shower, then got a car ride from his victim. Derek Tarbox, 35, of Standish, was arrested Sunday and is facing charges of class B burglary, two counts of unauthorized use of property, leaving the scene of property damage accident, failure to report an accident and theft by unauthorized taking. The York County Sheriff's Office said Tarbox was found watching television when a Bennet Hill Road resident arrived home Sunday. Authorities said Tarbox told the homeowner he mistakenly thought the house belonged to a friend and asked for a ride home. The homeowner told authorities that seemed plausible, so he drove him to a house in Hollis, which actually belonged to Tarbox's relatives. When the victim returned, he realized his home had been ransacked and that Tarbox had broken in through a back door. According to WCSH-TV, the homeowner called police and deputies and troopers were able to quickly apprehend Tarbox without incident. Through an investigation with Maine State Police, authorities also learned that Tarbox had allegedly stolen a vehicle in Portland prior to the break-in and ran out of gas in Hollis where he allegedly stole another vehicle and drove it to the Bennet Hill Road home where he went off the road and crashed. Authorities said that's when Tarbox walked to the victim's house where he broke in. Tarbox was expected to be arraigned Dec. 26. It's unclear if he has an attorney. He's scheduled to appear in Alfred Superior Court on Feb. 8, 2019.
From: Jaxs Re: Computer not shutting down Dear Webby, I have with my computer not shutting down. A times it tells me it is running a long string at that time it will time out and close the program and when i shut it down at night it stays in the shutdown screen, it stayed in that screen for 5 hrs till I turned off manually with the power switch. Any ideas? Jaxs Dear Jaxs That sounds like an infection. There is no mechanical part that can cause that. Probably some hacker is not quite finished with whatever he is doing. I would recommend that you run Malwarebytes. Try downloading it, then pulling the Internet connection or unplug the modem, and THEN run the install of Malwarebytes. Let me know if that dumps the slave master. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Secretary: "Pastor, we've got a problem in the computer lab where you met with the confirmation class last week. Some of the boys in the class started messing with the mice." Pastor: "What?!?" (thinking: we've got mice in there!?) Secretary: "Yeah, it seems some of the boys removed their balls." Pastor (incredulously...): "Th..th...they did what??? How in the world did they do that???" Secretary: "They must have used a screwdriver or something." Pastor: "We've got some pretty sick boys... I... I... didn't even realize mice had balls...!" Secretary: "Yeah, they roll around on 'em all the time!" Pastor: "What???" (still thinking of the little fury real animals) "Well...what can *we* do?" Secretary: "I guess we'll have to put 'em back on the mice. I can probably do it if I can get enough little screws." Pastor: "WHAT?!?" Secretary: "Hmmm....Pastor, are we talking about the same thing?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bubba applied for an engineering position at a Lake Charles refinery. A Yankee applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Bubba and said: "Thank you for your interest but we've decided to give the Yankee the job." Bubba asked: "And why are you giving him the job? We both got nine questions correct. This being Louisiana , and me being a Southern boy I should ge t the job!" The manager said: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but rather on the one question that you both missed." Bubba then asked: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" The manager replied: "Bubba, it's like this... on question #4, the Yankee put down, 'I don't know'. And you put down, 'Neither do I'." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Serving Wine Uncork red wine an hour before drinking so it can breathe and rise to room temperature. Chill white wine and open right before you are ready to drink it. If you have leftover wine, put the cork back in the bottle, it will keep for a few days. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
HAPPY NEW YEAR Everyone! The Gavle Bocken (Christmas Goat)
___________________________________________________ An old Texan went to the local church and asked to join. The preacher said, 'OK, but you have to pass a small Bible test first.' The first Question is 'Where was Jesus born?' The man answered, 'Longview.' The preacher said. 'Sorry...you can't join our church.' Soooooo....he went to another church and asked to join. The preacher said, 'We would love to have you, but you have to pass a Bible test first. Where was Jesus born?' The man said. 'Tyler.' The preacher said, 'Sorry...you can't join our church.' Soooo....he goes to another church and asks, to join. The preacher said, 'That's great; we welcome you with open arms.' The man said, 'I don't have to pass no Bible test first?' The preacher said, 'No.' The man said, 'Can I ask you a question?' The preacher said, 'Sure.' The man said, 'Where was Jesus born?' The preacher said, 'Palestine.' The man mumbled to himself, 'I knew it was in East Texas somewhere.' ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Gloria for this story: The best thing about moving back to my hometown was seeing so many familiar faces. One day, in the grocery store, I recognized a man who had been a good friend of my parents. He noticed me staring, so I quickly introduced myself as John and Helen's daughter. "Helen's daughter!" he exclaimed. "Oh, such a beautiful lady." He called to his wife, "Martha, come and see Helen's daughter. You remember Helen - such a beautiful lady." "Oh yes," Martha replied. "She was always so pretty." After raving on about my mother, he turned to me and said, "You look like your father!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra. Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her. "What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues. She replied, "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived!" ___________________________________________________

Today January 1 in
0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome. 

1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning of
the New Year (instead of March 25th). 

1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London. 

1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, replacing New
York City. 

1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first person
to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres. 

1804 Haiti gained its independence. 

1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa. 

1840 The first recorded bowling match was recorded in the U.S. 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation,
which declared that all slaves in the rebel states were free. 

1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi. 

1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened to traffic. 

1895 In Battle Creek, MI, C.W. Post created his first usable
batch of Monks Brew (later called Postum). It was a cereal-based
substitute for caffeinated drinks. 

1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island
were consolidated into New York City. 

1900 Hawaii asked for a delegate to the Republican national
convention. 

1900 Nigeria became a British protectorate with Frederick Lagard
as the high commissioner. 

1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun
officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General. 

1902 The first Tournament of Roses (later the Rose Bowl)
collegiate football game was played in Pasadena, CA. 

1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in Britain.
People over 70 received five shillings a week. 

1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries. 

1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste. It had been
used for many centuries, but nobody had bothered to patent it.

1926 The Rose Bowl was carried coast to coast on network radio
for the first time. 

1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison. 

1934 The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) began
operation. 

1936 The "New York Herald Tribune" began microfilming its current
issues. 

1937 The First Cotton Bowl football game was played in Dallas,
TX. Texas Christian University (T.C.U.) beat Marquette, 16-6. 

1939 The Hewlett-Packard partnership was formed by Bill Hewlett
and Dave Packard. 

1945 France was admitted to the United Nations. 

1956 Sudan gained its independence. 

1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations. 

1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio Batista,
and seized power in Cuba. 

1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control of
his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over the
ornamental fountains in front of Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. 

1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in advertising
were banned from TV and radio broadcast. 

1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC. 

1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the invention
of a personal computer called Altair. MITS, using an Intel
microprocessor, developed the computer. 

1979 The United States and China held celebrations in Washington,
DC, and in Beijing to mark the establishment of diplomatic
relations between the two countries. 

1981 Greece joined the European Community. 

1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies under terms
of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. Federal government. 

1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC). 

1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen
Square (China). It did not go over well. Some people are still in
jail.

1990 David Dinkins was sworn in as New York City's first black
mayor. 

1992 The ESPN Radio Network was officially launched. 

1992 In Kuala, Lumpur, the groundbreaking ceremony for the
Petronas Towers took place. 

1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the Czech
Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had been engineered
in 1992. 

1994 Bill Gates, Chief Executive Officer of Microsoft and Melinda
French were married. 

1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into
effect. 

1995 Frederick West, an alleged killer of 12 women and girls, was
found hanged in his jail cell in Winston Green prison, in
Birmingham. West had been under almost continuous watch since his
arrest in 1994, but security had reportedly been relaxed in the
months preceding the apparent suicide. 

1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The group
of 125 nations monitors global trade. 

1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. The
law prohibits people from lighting up in bars. 

1999 The euro became currency for 11 Member States of the
European Union. Coins and notes were not available until January
1, 2002. 

1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined "invasion
of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture audio or
video images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging in a
personal or family activity." 

2001 The "Texas 7," rented space in an RV park in Woodland Park,
CO. 

2007 Binney & Smith Company became Crayola LLC under its parent
company Hallmark

2018  smiled.


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Which is safer? Wired or wireless 




Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, December 31

Today's Bonehead Award: 

______________________________________________________
Today, December 31 in
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of
Good Hope, where they would later create the South African wine
industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. --- Jack London (1876 - 1916) On the global warming hoax: It's all because of Bush's poor energy policy, that the people listened to and believed Al Gore! --- Hillary Clinton ______________________________________________________ One day a mother was out and the dad was in charge. The little one was maybe one and a half years old. Someone had given her a little tea set as a gift and it was one of her favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when she brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the toddler bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Mom waited, and sure enough, here comes baby down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?' ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At a session, last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few, minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!" The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go to get her and bring her back." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: A middle-aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, "How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Am I too flat, or is it my face?" "No, ma'am," explained the officer, "it's your foot." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture! Mount Ararat, erupting without a permit. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Charles Albert Garcia, 40, Big Pine Key, Floriduh Florida dope tried to prevent car search by locking keys into the car. A Florida Keys man pulled over for speeding Christmas Eve locked his keys inside his car when Monroe County Sheriff’s Office deputies told him they were going to search the vehicle, according to his arrest report. Charles Albert Garcia, 40, had reason to worry. Deputies found small amounts of cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, amphetamine pills and marijuana inside the Lexus, according to Deputy Jason Farr’s affidavit. Garcia, from Big Pine Key, was arrested on multiple felony drug possession counts, felony driving with a suspended license and misdemeanor marijuana possession and misdemeanor obstruction. He was released Wednesday on a bond of $64,000. He did not return a phone call seeking comment. Farr stated that he pulled Garcia over shortly after 11 p.m. Monday after clocking him on his radar driving his Lexus 70 mph in a 45 mph zone of U.S. 1 at mile marker 102 heading south. Farr asked Garcia for his license, but Garcia said it was suspended but would be reinstated soon, according to the report. He told Farr the Lexus he was driving was his father’s and he was returning home to Big Pine with Christmas presents. According to Farr’s report, Garcia’s license has been suspended since April 2012, and he had been arrested for driving on a suspended license three previous times. He also had a warrant out for his arrest for not showing up to court for a traffic violation, Farr wrote in his report. After Farr said he was going to search the Lexus, Garcia threw the keys inside the vehicle and locked the doors. A towing company unlocked the door, and deputies searched the vehicle, finding the drugs, according to Farr’s report.
From: Earl Re: What is safer, wired or wireless Dear Webby, Enjoy the humor letter, What is safer from hacking wireless or wired? Earl Dear Earl Wired is safer, though if you change your password frequently, wireless CAN be safe enough. Keep in mind, you are not a political target and no real experts are trying to hack into your stuff. You just have to close the door and lock it against casual drive by hackers. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in he ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spit the bait into his hand and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities. In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Storing Potatoes Store potatoes in a cool (40F), dark place for months. Do not allow potatoes to freeze. Potatoes should be stored in a bin that is at least a few inches off the ground but not piled more than 18 inches deep. Thriftyfun.com Where I grew up, most houses had a potato cellar that had at least a quarter of the floor just packed dirt. The rest, and walkways were concrete or boardwalks. Folk wisdom said that potatoes needed the gases emerging from the earth, otherwise they would not last until the next harvest. The potatoes were in wooden bins sitting on 2x4's. That trick worked fine for us and we always still had some old potatoes, when we started harvesting the new ones. Even if you can't grow potatoes, it's still worth storing them if you have a basement. By spring potatoes in the store often cost three times as much as at harvest time. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
We have strange customs....Picnicking in cemeteries.
___________________________________________________ >From Mary My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So one evening I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage. "With this ring..." I began romantically. "We could pay off your Visa," he responded. ___________________________________________________ For our honeymoon my fiancee and I chose a fashionable hotel known for its luxurious suites. When I called to make reser- vations, the desk clerk inquired, "Is this for a special occasion?" "Yes," I replied." It's our honeymoon." "And how many adults and how many kids will there be?" she asked. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Sandy I came across a letter that had been written to me 12 years earlier while I was in college. I still fondly remembered the sender -- a Shakespeare-quoting, truth-seeking young man -- and wrote to his parents, asking where I could contact him. My letter was returned promptly, with this note scrawled across the bottom: "Our son went on to law school and is a successful attorney. He is active politically, unmarried and, believe it or not, lives at home. PLEASE COME GET HIM!" ___________________________________________________

Today December 31 in
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape of
Good Hope, where they would later create the South African wine
industry with the vines they took with them on the voyage. 

1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted in
many windows being bricked up. 

1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army generals
Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. Montgomery was
killed in the battle. 

1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the capital
of Canada. 

1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of
incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ. 

1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis Island,
to provide improved facilities for the massive numbers of
arrivals. 

1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben. 

1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne"
as a New Year's Eve song for the first time. 

1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of
hostilities in World War II. 

1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to earn
more than one billion dollars in a single year. The Unions made
sure they never did that again.

1961 In the U.S., the Marshall Plan expired after distributing
more than $12 billion in foreign aid. 

1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold for
the first time in more than 40 years. 

1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final time
from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event marked the
end of diplomatic relations with the U.S. 

1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the start of
1979. 

1986 A fire at the Dupont Plaza Hotel in San Juan, Puerto Rico,
killed 97 and injured 140 people. Three hotel workers later pled
guilty to charges in connection with the fire. 

1997 Michael Kennedy, 39-year-old son of the late U.S. Sen.
Robert F. Kennedy, was killed in a skiing accident on Aspen
Mountain in Colorado. 

1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister
Vladimir Putin was designated acting president. 

1999 Five hijackers left the airport where they had been holding
150 hostages on an Indian Airlines plane. They left with two
Islamic clerics that they had demanded be freed from an Indian
prison. The plane had been hijacked during a flight from
Katmandu, Nepal to New Dehli on December 24. 

1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the
world's oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 

2004 In Taiwan, the Taipei 101 skyscraper opened to the public. 

2018  smiled.


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IE is no longer enforced 




Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, December 30

Today's Bonehead Award: 

______________________________________________________
Today, December 30 in
1922 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) was formed.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. --- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - ) - More quotations on: [Children] If you look good and dress well, you don't need a purpose in life. --- Robert Pante Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. --- Thomas Jones We are none of us infallible--not even the youngest of us. --- W. H. Thompson ______________________________________________________ While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "And while you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to jrc for this story: Subject: How journalists see things A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl. The biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the biker, says - "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life." "It was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and SOMEBODY had to save her." "Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know", the reporter said, "and tomorrow's papers will have this on the first page. What motorcycle do you drive?" "A Harley Davidson." The journalist leaves. The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on first page: BIKER GANG MEMBER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks To Sandie For This Story: Two Buddies Are Fishing, But They Haven't Caught Anything All Day. Then Another Fisherman Walks By With A Huge Load Of Fish. They Ask Him, "Excuse Me, But Where Did You Get All Those Fish?" The Other Fisherman Replies," If You Just Go Down The Stream Until The Water Isn't Salty, There Are A Ton Of Hungry Fish." They Thank Him And Go On Their Way. Fifteen Minutes Later, One Fisherman Says To The Other, "Fill The Bucket Up With Water And See If The Water Is Salty." He Dips The Bucket In The Stream And Drinks Some. "Nope. Still Salty." Thirty Minutes Later, He Asks Him To Check Again. "Nope, Still Salty." One Hour Later, They Check Again. "Nope. Still Salty." "This Isn't Good," The Fisherman Finally Says. "We Have Been Walking For Almost Two Hours And The Water Is Still Salty!" "I Know," Says The Other. "And The Bucket Is Almost Empty!" ______________________________________________________ How many people? _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Perez Johnson, 29, Aloha, Oregon Amazon delivery driver is caught with GPS stealing packages from home he delivered to Amazon delivery driver was arrested after stealing a bait package from a porch The bait package was tagged with a GPS device so sheriff's could track it Once Amazon delivery driver Perez Johnson, 29, was caught he admitted to delivering packages to the same home before The package was also tagged with an alarm that alerted deputies the package was snatched off the property Deputies found 18 other Amazon packages inside his personal vehicle They confiscated them and personally delivered them to the right receivers An Amazon delivery driver has been arrested after he took the bait and stole packages fitted with GPS devices. Perez Johnson was taken into custody after he snagged the tagged boxes from an unattended from a home in Aloha, Oregon - a property he had already delivered to. The incident happened in the area of Aloha around 6.40pm Sunday. The Washington County Sheriff's office also tagged the package with an alarm that alerted deputies as soon as it was snatched off the porch. While some thieves follow behind delivery trucks, the 29-year-old Amazon delivery driver, Johnson, admitted to taking the bait package after leaving a legitimate delivery at the same address, according to Oregon Live. When deputies tracked the GPS'd bait package they found it in Johnson's black Nissan Altima. They also found 18 other Amazon packages that never made it to their destination. The sheriff's deputies took the packages and 'personally delivered the remaining packages that had been found inside the suspect's vehicle to their addresses to avoid any delay in receipt.' Johnson was arrested and booked into the Washington County Jail on charges of second-degree theft. This is the fourth year the sheriff's office has implemented the theft protection program that uses GPS tracking to find packages stolen from people's porches. The Washington County Sheriff's office says it has doubled its bait packages to be left on doorsteps as the program has become more successful.
From: Frank Re: IE no longer enforced by Microsoft Dear Webby, First, I wish you a Happy and Healthy New Year. I've checked your toolbox 3 times, my eyesight is not what it was many years ago. I cannot seem to locate the IE blocking link. Peace Frank Dear Frank I took it down because it does not work anymore. Now you simply get Chrome or FireFox or Opera or Bing, or whatever browser you want to use, transfer your bookmarks or import them to the new browser, then UNinstall IE from the Control panel. It won't try to sneak back in. Even Microsoft has given up on IE and came out with BING. Bing works, and according to some people, is not as socialist tinted as Chrome. For now, anyway, it is not hurting your machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Irene for this story: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Watch Shipping Charges With Online Auctions You can find good deals at online auctions but one trick that some sellers play is they offer a low bid price for the product, but have a really high shipping price. Never bid on an item until you have calculated the cost of your bid and the shipping charge. Thriftyfun.com You got a month and a hyalf to plan and practise! ____________________________________________________
4000 year old desert cemetery in China.
___________________________________________________ A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer said he had buried them. The sheriff then asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie." ___________________________________________________ After driving all night, a man arrived in a small town where he decided to stop in the local park and catch some sleep. Just as he dozed off, there was a knock on the window. Outside the car, was a jogger. "Excuse me, can you give me the time?" the jogger inquired. "Groggily, the man replied, "It's 6:27." The man closed his eyes and just as he dozed off there was another knock on the window. There stood another jogger who said, "I'm sorry to disturb you. Do you have the time?", Struggling to keep up his spirits he replied, "It's 6:34." The man rolled up the window but realizing that this could go on indefinitely, he took paper and pen and created a sign which read: "I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME." He stuck the sign in the window, closed his eyes, and was barely asleep when there came yet another tap on the window. The man looked and sure enough, there was another jogger. He disgustedly rolled down the window and said, "Yeah, what is it?" The jogger replied, "It's 6:42." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Marina I was waiting tables at a country club when an elegantly dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin. Having plenty of experience with getting out feed stains, I asked, "Can I bring you some club soda?" "Young lady," she barked, "I'll be the judge of when I've had enough to drink. Bring me another martini!" ___________________________________________________

Today December 30 in
1460 At the Battle of Wakefield, in England's Wars of the Roses,
the Duke of York was defeated and killed by the Lancastrians. 

1853 The United States bought about 45,000 square miles of land
from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase.

1879 Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Pirates of Penzance" was first
performed, at Paignton, Devon, England. 

1880 The Transvaal was declared a republic. Paul Kruger became
its first president. 

1887 A petition to Queen Victoria with over one million names of
women appealing for public houses to be closed on Sundays was
handed to the home secretary. 

1903 About 600 people died when fire broke out at the Iroquois
Theater in Chicago, IL. 

1919 Lincoln's Inn, in London, admitted the first female bar
student. 

1922 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) was formed. 

1924 Edwin Hubble announced the existence of other galactic
systems. 

1927 The first subway in the Orient was dedicated in Tokyo,
Japan. 

1935 Italian bombers destroyed a Sweedish Red Cross unit in
Ethiopia. 

1936 The United Auto Workers union staged its first sit-down
strike at the Fisher Body Plant in Flint, MI. 

1940 California's first freeway was officially opened. It was the
Arroyo Seco Parkway connecting Los Angeles and Pasadena. 

1942 "Mr. and Mrs. North" debuted on NBC radio. 

1944 King George II of Greece proclaimed a regency to rule his
country, virtually renouncing the throne. 

1947 King Michael of Romania abdicated in favor of a Communist
Republic. He claimed he was forced from his throne. 

1948 "Kiss Me Kate" opened at the New Century Theatre in New York
City. Cole Porter composed the music for the classic play that
ran for 1,077 performances. 

1953 The first color TV sets went on sale for about $1,175. 

1954 James Arness made his dramatic TV debut in "The Chase". The
"Gunsmoke" series didn’t begin for Arness until the fall of 1955.


1961 Jack Nicklaus lost his first attempt at pro golf to Gary
Player in an exhibition match in Miami, FL. 

1972 The United States halted its heavy bombing of North Vietnam.


1976 The Smothers Brothers, Tom and Dick, played their last show
at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas and retired as a team from show
business. Both continued as solo artists and they reunited
several years later. 

1980 "The Wonderful World of Disney" was cancelled by NBC after
more than 25 years on the TV. It was the longest-running series
in prime-time television history. 

1993 Israel and the Vatican established diplomatic relations. 

1996 A passenger train was bombed by Bodo separatists in India's
eastern state of Assam. At least 26 people were killed and dozens
were seriously injured. 

1996 About 250,000 striking workers shut down vital services
across Israel in protests against budget cuts proposed by Prime
Minister Netanyahu. 

1997 More than 400 people were massacred in four villages in the
single worst incident during Algeria's insurgency.

2018  smiled.


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Is Microsoft still enforcing IE ? 




Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, December 29

Today's Bonehead Award: 

______________________________________________________
Today, December 29 in
1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. --- Saint Augustine (354 AD - 430 AD) The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. --- Arthur C. Clarke "So they've got us surrounded, good! Now we can fire in any direction, those bastards won't get away this time!" --- General Lewis "Chesty" Puller, USMC ______________________________________________________ It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Some Boy Scouts from the big city were on a camping trip for the first time. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, "We might as well give up. Now they're coming after us with flashlights!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ College student: "Hey, Dad! I've got some great news for you!" Father: "What, son?" College student: "Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean's list?" Father: "I certainly do." College student: "Well, you get to keep it!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jess Evans, 26 Oswestry, Shropshire, Britain Mum realises far too late that daughter’s advent calendar is meant for cats A mum is in the dog house with her daughter after buying her an advent calendar that was actually meant for cats. The problem is, it took Jess Evans, 26, 11 whole days to realise that instead of eating chocolate Alissa, 9, had been chomping down on catnip. The little girl endured four days of the green-tinged treats before refusing to eat anymore, but Jess assumed she was just being picky. The mum-of-three was horrified when she turned the £1.99 Garfield calendar over only to discover the ‘apple flavoured chocolates’ were in fact yoghurt and catnip delicacies – for cats. Jess, from Oswestry, Shropshire, said: ‘I was in shock and felt like the worst mother ever when I realised I’d bought her a calendar for cats. Alissa had said they looked a bit green but I thought they were probably just apple-flavoured ones and didn’t think anything of it. ‘She said they tasted a bit strange, but hadn’t said they were horrible, so I just forgot about it. ‘Alissa hadn’t been eating them for a few days and when I asked why she brought the box over to me. ‘I remember thinking they did look a funny shade of green and didn’t have a chocolatey smell. ‘When I turned the calendar over and read that it was yoghurt and catnip flavour I couldn’t believe it – and that it had taken 11 days for us to notice.’ Jess had picked the advent calender up while out shopping with Alissa and her younger sisters Alexis Davies-Evans, three, and 11-month-old Aurora Davies-Evans in the Oswestry branch of B&M. Assuming the advent calendars on display were all for children she quickly scanned the shelves, picked up the Garfield one and added it to the trolley after getting Alissa’s nod of approval. Jess said: ‘When I looked at the box I couldn’t believe it. I have a degree in English literature and creative writing but still couldn’t read a calendar and it had taken me 11 days to realise. ‘Once she got over the shock she found the funny side of it. Thankfully she’s absolutely fine and I’ve checked online that she will be ok. ‘I’m going to give the calendar to my friend for her cat.’ Jess has vowed to get another advent calendar for Alissa and will bring 27-year-old lawn specialist fiancé Sean Davies along to ensure she snaps up a chocolate one. Jess said: ‘I’ll definitely be getting Sean to come with me to get one, it definitely has to be a really good one, otherwise knowing my luck I’ll end up buying one for dogs this time.’
In response to complaints by Rev. Sharpton and Jesse Jackson that there are not enough illegal immigrants appearing on TV, the Network has decided that in the future " America's Most Wanted".... will be shown 'TWICE' weekly. From: BroJoe Re: IE enforced my Microsoft Dear Webby, Your thoughts on this, please. BroJoe (.... a whole bunch of incorrect drivel from Microsoft sheep Erin at worldstart...) Dear BroJoe That is pure BS. We, amongst many others like the US Department of Defense banned IE from all of our computers. The writer of that lame drivel seems to be a particularly dumb sheep. To block IE you do NOT disable automatic updates and patches. You get the IE Blocker from my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools, or search for it at Microsoft, but you don't turn off automatic updates to Windows! You can use about 50 other browsers. There is absolutely no need for IE. Even Microsoft has given up on it and came out with BING. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time, Jones?" he asked sarcastically. "Let's hear a good excuse for a change." Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the river -- look, my suit's still damp -- ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson's helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes." "You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss, obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten minutes."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Hilda Last October, after much deliberation, I bought a magnolia tree from our local nursery. After only a few weeks I noticed that the leaves had started to shrivel and the tree appeared to be on its last legs in spite of my tender care. So I took some leaf samples and marched back to the nursery to demand an explanation or get my money back. "I know exactly what's wrong with your magnolia," said the manager. "Good!" I exclaimed. "What's it suffering from?" You can imagine how stupid I felt when he said, "Autumn." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Serving Food at Parties Put food out in smaller batches and replace it as it runs out. That way, the first food is just as good as the last. If food needs to be left out for long periods of time, make sure it is properly cooled or kept warm using either ice or warming trays. Thriftyfun.com You got a month and a hyalf to plan and practise! ____________________________________________________
Trucks can twerk! Your Daily Dose of Internet
___________________________________________________ While hiking in the country, my friend Eve and I spotted a huge bed of mushrooms that we knew to be edible. We gathered a large basketful and sauteed them that night. My husband Phil refused to eat them, thinking they might be poisonous. Two weeks later, Eve and I gathered some more mushrooms. This time, Phil joined us. "How is it that you're eating these mushrooms tonight," I asked, "when you wouldn't touch the ones we brought home two weeks ago? What changed your mind?" "I thought about it," Phil explained seriously, "and I figured it would be better to be found dead with you two than to try to explain two dead women in my home." ___________________________________________________ A traveling salesman stops at a farm house and is talking with the farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt and suspenders. He says, "What the heck is that all about?" The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed, so my wife made him clothes to keep him warm. You think he looks funny now, you should see him try to hold a hen down with one foot and get his pants off with the other!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A burglar needing money to pay his income taxes decided to burgle the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading, "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob." He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging. As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning "Can't trust nobody no more!" ___________________________________________________

Today December 29 in
1170 St. Thomas à Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, was
murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting on Henry
II's orders. 

1812 The USS Constitution won a battle with the British ship HMS
Java about 30 miles off the coast of Brazil. Before Commodore
William Bainbridge ordered the sinking of the Java he had her
wheel removed to replace the one the Constitution had lost during
the battle. 

1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812. 

1837 Canadian militiamen destroyed the Caroline, a U.S. steamboat
docked at Buffalo, NY. 

1848 U.S. President James Polk turned on the first gas light at
the White House. 

1860 The HMS Warrior, Britain's first seagoing iron-hulled
warship, was launched. 

1888 The first performance of Macbeth took place at the Lyceum
Theatre. 

1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 men, women and
children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. This was the last major
conflict between Indians and U.S. troops. 

1895 The Jameson Raid from Mafikeng into Transvaal, which
attempted to overthrow Kruger's Boer government, started. 

1911 Sun Yat-sen became the first president of a republican
China. 

1913 "The Unwelcome Throne" was released by Selig’s Polyscope
Company. This was a moving picture and the first serial motion
picture. 

1934 The first regular-season, college basketball game was played
at Madison Square Garden in New York City. New York University
defeated Notre Dame 25-18. 

1934 Japan renounced the Washington Naval Treaty of 1922 and the
London Naval Treaty of 1930. 

1940 During World War II, Germany began dropping incendiary bombs
on London. 

1945 The mystery voice of Mr. Hush was heard for the first time
on the radio show, "Truth or Consequences", hosted by Ralph
Edwards. 

1945 Sheb Wooley recorded the first commercial record made in
Nashville, TN. 

1949 KC2XAK of Bridgeport, Connecticut became the first ultrahigh
frequency (UHF) television station to begin operating on a
regular daily schedule. 

1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered for sale by
Sonotone Corporation. 

1972 Following 36 years of publication, the last weekly issue of
"LIFE" magazine hit the newsstands. The magazine later became a
monthly publication. 

1975 A bomb exploded in the main terminal of New York's LaGuardia
Airport. 11 people were killed. 

1985 Phil Donahue and a Soviet radio commentator hosted the
"Citizens’ Summit" via satellite TV. 

1986 The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, FL, reopened for
business after eighteen years and $47 million expended on
restoration. 

1989 Following Hong Kong's decision to forcibly repatriate some
Vietnamese refugees, thousands of Vietnamese 'boat people'
battled with riot police. 

1989 Vaclav Havel was elected president of Czechoslovakia by the
country's Federal Assembly. He was the first non-Communist to
hold the position in more than four decades. 

1996 The Guatemalan government and leaders of the leftist
Guatemalan National Revolutionary Union signed a peace accord in
Guatemala City, ending a civil war that had lasted 36 years. 

1997 Hong Kong began killing 1.25 million chickens, the entire
population, for fear of the spread of 'bird flu.' 

1998 Khmer Rouge leaders apologized for the 1970s genocide in
Cambodia that claimed 1 million lives. 

1999 The Nasdaq composite index closed at 4,041.46. It was the
first close above 4,000. 

2018  smiled.


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Pictures in email 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, December 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Today's Bonehead Award: 
Suicide by cops in Hawaii

______________________________________________________
Today, December 28 in
1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all - he's walking on them. --- Leonard Louis Levinson This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Since I was processing my first accident report at the transport company where I worked, I was being particularly attentive. The driver had hit a deer on the highway and the result was a severely damaged hood and fender. My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached the section of the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?" The driver had put, "Full gallop." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Billie I was at my local cell phone company to pay my bill and upgrade my service. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an older gentleman with a cane nearby. It was unclear which one of us would be called next. When the representative called for one of us to step up, the man with the cane motioned politely and said, "After you." I smiled at him and replied, "No, please, after you. I have all day." The man smiled back and said, "No, you go ahead. My doctor says I have at least six months." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then answered, "That would be 4, I think." "Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right. Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming..., "Come on coach, give him another chance!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dylan Printz, 18, Shippensburg, Pennsylvania Arson Charge For Man Behind Burning Dog Poop Prank A crappy Christmas Eve prank landed a Pennsylvania man in jail on arson and other criminal charges, according to police. Firefighters and cops were dispatched Monday at 3 AM following a report that a “bag of dog poop was lit on fire on a porch” in Shippensburg, a borough about 40 miles southwest of Harrisburg. A female tenant told police she was awoken when other residents spotted the fire and began “yelling to call 911 and to get out of the house.” The fire was quickly extinguished and there was no damage to the residence. Asked who might have set the bag of feces on fire, the tenant fingered Dylan Printz, 18, “due to them having a falling out that night and she told him he could not stay or be there anymore.” Police subsequently located Printz, who reportedly copped to starting the fire. Seen above, Printz said that he “grabbed a brown paper bag from a Chinese food order” and filled it with dog poop. He then “put the bag of feces on the porch and lit it on fire with a Bic lighter.” Printz, cops reported, said he set the fire to “get back at the people who lived there due to an earlier fight.” Shippensburg cops arrested Printz on two felony counts--arson and risking catastrophe. He was also hit with misdemeanor reckless endangerment charges. The teen--whose Facebook page lists his nickname as “Spyder”--is free on $20,000 bail and is scheduled for a January 7 pretrial hearing.
From: Daniel Re: Pictures in email Dear Webby, two questions.how can you enlarge a picture that is on an email you are sending, and why won't my stamp stay on the right side of the email ? as soon as i touch a key,it slides to the left side. thanks again, daniel Dear Daniel You can't enlarge pictures in email after you have pasted them. You have to make them larger before you paste them. To make a picture stay on the right side, with Eudora you highlight the picture, then click on the Right-Align button. Some other email programs are also capable of that. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me..... I know we've been friends for a long time..... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A father spoke to his son, "It's time we had a little talk, my son. Soon, you will have urges and feelings you've never had before. Your heart will pound & your hands will sweat. You'll be preoccupied and won't be able to think of anything else." He added, "But don't worry, it's perfectly normal... it's called golf." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Flip The Script For Valentine's Day For guys (or gals) who don't cook a lot, take it upon yourself to cook a Valentine's dinner for your significant other. Try cooking your partner's favorite dish. Even if the meal turns out less than perfect, the thoughtfulness and effort will be appreciated. Thriftyfun.com You got a month and a hyalf to plan and practise! ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ AFTER OUR FRIEND TOM had been a temporary bachelor for several weeks, we stopped by his home to visit him. My wife asked if he was eating properly. "Well, I do eat a lot of dog food," Tom told her. "Dog food!" my wife exclaimed, horrified. "I can't believe you would be eating anything like that!" "Come to the kitchen and I'll show you," Tom replied. Opening the refrigerator door, he waved his hand at a row of doggie bags from some of the best restaurants in town. --------- In the 70's my dad came over from Europe to visit me. I also took him to the local Chinese restaurant and showed him how everybody on the table ordered their favorites, but got an empty plate, with all the ordered foods placed in the center. Then everybody took some of each plate, sort of a mini buffet. The food was plentiful with lots left over. Then the waiter asked: "Yoo wann doggie bags?" I was familiar with that and of course agreed. Dad had never experienced that in Europe and he was quite impressed, and when he returned to Austria, proceded to tell everybody about "doggie bags". In the meantine now most other restaurants adopted that custom. Some, like Boston Pizza, even have very nice, reusable containers, but still call them "doggie bags". ___________________________________________________ President Calvin Coolidge once invited friends from his hometown to dine at the White House. Worried about their table manners, the guests decided to do everything that Coolidge did. This strategy succeeded, until coffee was served. The president poured his coffee into the saucer. The guests did the same. Coolidge added sugar and cream. His guests did, too. Then Coolidge bent over and put his saucer on the floor for the cat. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course at the university. "Oh, great," I said. "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family." "No, no," he replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester." ___________________________________________________

Today December 28 in
1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the
Confessor. 

1694 Queen Mary II of England died after five years of joint rule
with her husband, King William III. 

1732 "The Pennsylvania Gazette," owned by Benjamin Franklin, ran
an ad for the first issue of "Poor Richard’s Almanack." 

1832 John C. Calhoun became the first vice president of the
United States to resign, stepping down over differences with
President Jackson. 

1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain. 

1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an acceptable
chewing gum. 

1877 John Stevens applied for a patent for his flour-rolling
mill, which boosted production by 70%. 

1879 In Dundee, Scotland the central portion of the Tay Bridge
collapsed as a train was passing over it. 75 people were killed. 

1895 In Paris, the first commercial public screening of
cinematographic films took place. 

1897 "Cyrano de Bergerac," the play by Edmond Rostand, premiered
in Paris, France. 

1902 The first professional indoor football game was played at
Madison Square Garden in New York City. Syracuse defeated the
Philadelphia Nationals 6-0. 

1908 An earthquake killed over 75,000 at Messina in Sicily. 

1912 The first municipally-owned street cars were used on the
streets of San Francisco, CA. 

1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland when a
new constitution established the country as a sovereign state
under the name of Eire. 

1942 R.O. Sullivan crossed the Atlantic Ocean for the 100th time.


1945 The U.S. Congress officially recognized the "Pledge of
Allegiance." 

1950 The Peak District became Britain's first designated National
Park. 

1964 Initial filming of the movie "Dr. Zhivago" began on location
near Madrid, Spain. The movies total running time is 197 minutes.


1973 The Chamber of Commerce of Akron, OH, terminated its
association with the All-American Soap Box Derby. It was stated
that the race had become "a victim of cheating and fraud." 

1973 Alexander Solzhenitsyn published "Gulag Archipelago," an
expose of the Soviet prison system. 

1981 Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American test-tube baby,
was born in Norfolk, VA. 

1982 Nevell Johnson Jr. was mortally wounded by a police officer
in a Miami video arcade. The event set off three days of race
related disturbances that left another man dead. 

1987 The bodies of 14 relatives of R. Gene Simmons were found at
his home near Dover, AR. Simmons had gone on a shooting spree in
Russellville that claimed two other lives. 

1989 Alexander Dubcek, who had been expelled from the Communist
Party in 1970, was elected speaker of the Czech parliament. 

1991 Nine people died in a rush to get into a basketball game at
City College in New York. 

1995 Pressure from German prosecutors investigating pornography
forced CompuServe to set a precedent by blocking access to sex-
oriented newsgroups on the Internet for its customers. 

2000 U.S. District Court Judge Matsch held a hearing to ensure
that confessed Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh understood
that he was dropping his appeals. McVeigh said that he wanted an
execution date set but wanted to reserve the right to seek
presidential clemency. 

2018  smiled.


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Can't delete mails from Hotmail 





Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, December 27

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Suicide by cops in Hawaii

______________________________________________________
Today, December 27 in
1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey
Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor
bottles that could be seen. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. --- William Feather (1908 - 1976) Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there. --- Mickey Friedman ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this story: Sitting through fire safety and prevention programs can make anyone nod off. So the instructor tried to lighten the mood by going around the room asking where all the guests were from. "Burnt Mattress, Arkansas," called out the friend sitting next to me. "Burnt Mattress!" said the instructor, suppressing a laugh. "I've heard some unusual town names before, but never that one. Where's it located?" My friend shot back, "Right above Hot Springs." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: My friend, Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to referee an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign that read: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only!" As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message, written in Braille. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to oredwine for bringing back this classic: Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it. Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then, unfortunately, Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?" Of course the rest is history. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Michael An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Natalee Kahl, 23, Coralville, Iowa Endangerment Charges For Iowa Mom An Iowa woman who left her three small children home alone late Thursday night was arrested on endangerment charges after one of the children called 911 to report that her mom and dad left and she needed help watching YouTube, according to court filings. Investigators charge that Natalee Kahl, 23, left the children-- ages five, three, and one--alone around 10 PM in the family's apartment in Coralville, an Iowa City suburb. Police were dispatched to the residence after one of the children called 911 to report that she needed help watching videos online. Cops estimated that Kahl left the children by themselves for about 40 minutes. Seen above, Kahl returned to the home while officers were inside the residence with her children. Kahl reportedly admitted to leaving the house to go get her boyfriend from a neighbor's house and that her offspring would not be able to take care of themselves in case of an emergency. Kahl was arrested on three counts of misdemeanor child endangerment. She also faces a possession of drug paraphernalia rap after cops found a glass pipe with marijuana residue in the home. Kahl was released this morning from the Johnson County jail after being booked into custody yesterday evening. In late-2015, Kahl, then living in Wisconsin, was in the news when her infant daughter was hospitalized after drinking vodka. According to press reports, Kahl said that the child's father had, unbeknownst to her, poured vodka into a plastic water bottle. Kahl later used the bottle to add two ounces of liquid to baby formula, which her daughter subsequently consumed. The child became ill and was rushed to a hospital, where her blood alcohol content was measured at .284 (nearly four times the legal limit). After the baby was released from the hospital, Kahl told a TV reporter of her thoughts upon seeing her daughter stricken. There's a lot that goes through your mind, like, 'Oh, my baby is going to get taken away, or she could die,' Kahl said. It is unclear whether Kahl's current boyfriend is the same man involved in the 2015 vodka incident.
Keli and Greg were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," said Greg in a conciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." Keli agreed and, like the dear she is, insisted Greg go first. "I'm wrong," Greg said. With a twinkle in her eye, Keli responded, "You're right!" From: Mike Re: Can't delete hotmail mails Dear Webby, I have a hotmail account well I have two of them, one is working fine, but the second one is not. In that I delete messages from my inbox but then they reappear the next time I open up the inbox, consequently I have 400 some messages in this particular hotmail account. Microsoft has not been much help, to say the least. Thanks Mike Dear Mike Maybe it's time to leave ho'mail to the kids, and graduate to Gmail. You knew that sooner or later you would get fed up enough to finally graduate, so you might as well do it now. Gmail is free and reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
At their 50th anniversary celebration, the husband was asked the secret of their longevity. "Well, we agreed in the beginning that if we ever got into a fight, I would just take my hat and go for a walk. After a while, I would return and throw my hat through the doorway. If she threw it back, it was time to take another walk. So I account my longevity to all the exercise I've gotten over the years!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Ross for this story: An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall. 'Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?' The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?' 'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with boobs like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.' ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Fish Buying Tips Fish meat should be firm, not soft or mushy. Fish eyes should be shiny and protrude from the fish. If they are dull or sunken, the fish should be avoided. The fish should smell fresh and not overly fishy or musty. The skin should have a nice sheen and the scales should not be coming off. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
27 Unique New Year’s Traditions
___________________________________________________ From the archive: Someone said this to me today, and I about laffed myself silly. Maybe you can clean it up a tad and use it. Jai...>^.^<... "Opinions are like asses. Everybody has one, And nobody thinks their's stinks." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Recently, a young woman came into my father's insurance office with her newborn twins. Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart. She gave him a funny look before responding, "No, I haven't had any problem. This is Benjamin and that one is Elizabeth." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
If you need a last minute Christmas present, get the Heirloom Christmas Book You can send the download, or print it out and hand deliver it. What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! This offer comes down tonight. ___________________________________________________

Today December 27 in
1703 The Methuen Treaty was signed between Portugal and England,
giving preference to the import of Portuguese wines into England.


1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard the
HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage helped him
form the basis of his theories on evolution. 

1845 Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth
for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child
in Jefferson, GA. 

1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the Carey
Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of the liquor
bottles that could be seen. 

1904 James Barrie's play "Peter Pan" premiered in London. 

1927 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party. 

1938 The first skimobile course in America opened in North
Conway, NH. 

1945 The World Bank was created with an agreement signed by 28
nations. 

1947 The children's television program "Howdy Doody," hosted by
Bob Smith, made its debut on NBC. 

1949 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty to
Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule. 

1951 In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a steering
wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle of its kind to
be placed in service for mail delivery. 

1965 The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with the
loss of 13 lives.
 
1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy
after 40 years of dictatorship. 

1979 Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak Karmal
succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was overthrown and
executed. 

1985 Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and
Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, including
five of the attackers, who were slain by police and security
personnel. 

1992 The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the
Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi
warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace over
southern Iraq. 

1996 CIA trained and armed Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces
retook the strategic air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer
zone around Kabul, the Afghanistan capital. 

1997 In Northern Ireland, Billy Wright was assassinated. He was
imprisoned as a Protestant paramilitary leader. 

2000 Mario Lemeiux (Pittsburgh Penguins) returned to the National
Hockey League (NHL) as a player after over 3 years of retirement.
He was the first owner-player in the modern era of pro sports.
Lemieux had purchased the Pittsburgh Penguins during his
retirement from playing. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent normal
trade status with the United States. 

2002 North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the
country and said that it would restart a laboratory capable of
producing plutonium for nuclear weapons. 

2002 In Chechnya, at least 40 people were killed when suicide
bombers attacked the administartion of Grozny.

2018  smiled.


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Occasional printing of large quantities 




Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, December 26

Merry Christmas!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

>From Bill
Maybe Helene should get a mouse with two LEFT buttons.
Merry Christmas.
Bill


Today's Bonehead Award: 
Suicide by cops in Hawaii

______________________________________________________
Today, December 26 in
1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 

2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement 
was made by Clonaid. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Michelangelo Buonarroti (1475 - 1564) Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head. --- Andy Rooney (1919 - ) "Iran is going to build an island just for women who want to go on vacation. No men will be allowed on the island. Which leads to the question, 'If something goes wrong, whose fault will it be?'" --- Jay Leno ______________________________________________________ Fresh out of business school, a young man answered a want ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Laura was attending her High School reunion and was having a blast. As the evening was drawing to a close, the master of ceremonies for the night proceeded to hand out bottles of champagne to the graduates who had traveled the farthest distance to attend the reunion, the graduate who had been married the longest time, the graduate who had become the most successful, etc. And Laura wondered if she was going to get a prize too. Sure enough, the master of ceremonies called out her name. "Laura, you win with 11 kids." and then, trying to be clever, he added in "And champagne is only half the prize. The other half is a giant, economy size bottle of aspirin." "Don't bother with the aspirin," Laura replied. "It's obvious with these many kids that I've never had a headache." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Michael An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Kaulana “Toji” Reinhardt, 26, Wailuku, Hawaii Suicide by cop in Hawaii On Sunday, December 23, 2018 at about 10:35 a.m., officers observed a stolen red Toyota Tacoma being driven by Kaulana “Toji” Reinhardt. Reinhardt was wanted for numerous outstanding arrest warrants to include one for Attempted Murder in the First Degree with a bail set at $1 million. Officers attempted to initiate a traffic stop on the truck but Reinhardt refused to stop and a pursuit ensued. The pursuit continued and ended on Kaohu Street at Market Street in Wailuku. As two officers attempted to apprehend Reinhardt, he pulled out a handgun. Shots were exchanged and Reinhardt was hit. Officers immediately administered CPR and applied an AED until medical personnel arrived. Reinhardt was then transported to the Maui Memorial Medical Center where he would succumb to his injuries. One officer sustained minor injuries that did not require medical treatment. No other officers or bystanders were hurt in this incident. Police temporarily closed off a portion of South Market Street and Kaohu Street to conduct the investigation. The officers involved had three and 15 years of experience, respectively. Both officers have been placed on Administrative Leave, which is normal procedure in these types of investigations.
From: Armond Re: Occasional priting Dear Webby, I only use my printer for one week every quarter year, but then print quite a lot. After sitting for three months, even fresh name brand cartridges are dead. Is there a way to keep them from dying in the meantime? Would it help to take them out and put them into the freezer? Armond Dear Armond The freezer will destroy them for sure. Wrapping them tightly with Saran wrap, or similar stretch film wrap, may help occasionally, with some brands, but is not really a reliable solution. Especially if you 'print quite a lot', get a laser printer. Laser printers are cheaper per page, and since the toner, that they use instead of ink, is a dry powder, it does not make any difference how long it sits between print jobs. A Laser takes 5 - 10 seconds to warm up after cold hibernation, but it does not care if the hibernation was during lunch hour or a few years. Once warmed up, it will print MUCH faster than an inkjet printer. It spits out a page in the time an inkjet printer prints one line. The warming up is not for the toner, but for the hot fuser roller, that melts the dry toner into the paper. All the photos, that you get at photo finishing places, are printed with laser printers on photo paper. Laser printers have come way down in price. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year. "Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" another friend suggested. "I already thought of that," he replied. "But my keyboard doesn't have Roman numerals on it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Karla While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Karla couldn't help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember -- run to Dad first, then the dog." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Working With Glitter If you are working with glitter or other small material for crafts, be sure to put down a piece of newspaper before you start working. Then when you are done, you can form the newspaper into a funnel and pour the extra back into the glitter container. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ >From Joan My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items. Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had 1 bag of sugar, 2 dozen eggs, 3 hams, 4 boxes of detergent, 5 boxes of crackers, 6 eggplants, and 7 green peppers. ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Wendy for sending this story: A Taxi driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The taxi driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold up?' 'Terrorists have kidnapped Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and Traitor Flake. They are asking for a $1 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.' The cabbie asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?' 'Oh, about a gallon. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 26 in
1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found
Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 

1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of Trenton
during the American Revolutionary War. 

1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 

1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 

1908 Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy Burns
in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer to win the
world heavyweight title. 

1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation
of the nation's railroads. 

1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing
dominion of Great Britain. 

1927 The East-West Shrine football game featured numbers on both
the front and back of players’ jerseys. 

1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister to
address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress. 

1941 U.S. President Roosevelt signed a resolution that set the a
fixed-date, the fourth Thursday of November, for the Federal
Thanksgiving Day holiday. 

1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the North
Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 

1944 Tennessee Williams' play "The Glass Menagerie" was first
performed publicly, at the Civic Theatre in Chicago, IL. 

1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying
New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The severe
weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 

1953 "Big Sister" was heard for the last time on CBS Radio. The
show ran for 17 years. 

1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow
the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed. 

1982 The Man of the Year in "TIME" magazine was a computer. It
was the first time a non-human received the honors. 

1986 "Search for Tomorrow" was seen for the last time on CBS-TV.
The show had been on the air for 35-years. 

1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country out
of existence. 

1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the
Palestinian Authority. 

1996 Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found beaten
and strangled in the basement of her family's home in Boulder,
CO. 

1998 Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British
warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 

1999 Alfonso Portillo, a populist lawyer, won Guatemala's first
peacetime presidential elections in 40 years. 

2000 Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of
employment killing seven people. McDermott had no criminal
history. 

2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was
made December 27 by Clonaid. 

2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 500-
mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The tsunami
killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, including
Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India.

2018  smiled.


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No right click on the mouse 




Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, December 25

Merry Christmas!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Killer finally faces justice 
30 years after he murdered girl, 8

______________________________________________________
Today, December 25 in
1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, at the
Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith The smaller the mind the greater the conceit. --- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC) ______________________________________________________ A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the end of it. She is so beautiful he cannot take his mind off her, so he calls the bartender over and says, "Take that woman a drink on me." The bartender says, "It won't work." "What do you mean, it won't work?" "That woman," says the barkeep, "is hard-hearted and hostile. You won't get nowhere with her - nobody does!" "Okay," says the guy. "How about this: you got any Spanish fly?" "Spanish fly? No," says the bartender, "I've got Jewish Fly." "So, what the hell is Jewish fly?" "I don't know; I've never used it. You want to give it a try?" "Yes," says the guy, and the next chance he gets, on his way to the men's room, he reaches behind her back and drops the stuff in the woman's drink. Nothing happens for a long time, but then all of a sudden he feels her body close against his, and her voice is whispering hotly in his ear, and she's saying "I can't stand it anymore! .......You excite me so much...take me shopping!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctors would watch this guy do this day after day. One doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Dana My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large manufacturing firm. One morning, word came from the top that some visiting VIPs would be touring the plant in just a few minutes. All production was immediately shut down as employees scrambled to quickly tidy up the work place. When the appointed lookout yelled, "Here they come!" fifty fingers that were poised over fifty machine start-up buttons pressed down in unison and blew every fuse in the building. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Miller, 59, Grabill Indiana Killer finally faces justice 30 years after he murdered girl, 8 John Miller, 59, was sentenced to 80 years jail for the molestation and murder for the gruesome death of April Tinsley, who disappeared from her Fort Wayne, Indiana neighborhood on April 1, 1988. Tinsley’s body was found 20 miles away in a ditch in a ditch by a jogger and a witness at the time told police a man in his thirties had pulled the girl into his blue pickup truck. One of her shoes was found 1,000 feet from the body. Authorities determined that Tinsley was sexually assaulted then strangled to death. For decades, the little girl’s killer tormented the family by sending taunting letters and used condoms, according to WPTA. In 1990, Miller left a note on a barn that read: ‘ I kill 8 year old April M Tinsley, did you find her other shoe haha I will kill agin (sic),’ NBC reported. Police were eventually able to determine Miller committed the heinous crime when DNA testing became and genealogy databases became available. Authorities narrowed the search down to two brothers and pulled used condoms containing DNA evidence from Miller’s trailer park trash in July. He was arrested at his home on Grabill on July 15 and when police knocked on his door, he replied ‘April Tinsley’. Miller appeared in Allen Superior Court in a wheelchair. His lawyer read a statement expressing regret, but prosecutors did not believe the apology was genuine. April’s mother, Janet, urged prosecutors to seek the death penalty, but Miller avoided death row by pleaded guilty early. We’re glad the case is solved and has come to closure a little bit, but in a way … April really didn’t got the justice that she deserves,’ Janet Tinsley said according to Wane.com. ‘Right now, it’s a start. But we’re never going to forget her. Her name’s going to be out there.’
From: Helene Re: No Right Click Dear Webby, Although I disagree with most of your political & social beliefs, your letter is really addictive and, hate to admit this, but enjoy -- a lot. So, thanks. Before I go through an elaborate process, any hints about what causes the right button of a mouse to suddenly stop functioning? It worked fine yesterday. Appreciate any advice. Helene Dear Helene It's not political that your RIGHT click does not work. First go into Settings, Control Panel, Mouse, Buttons and make sure that right clicking has not been turned off by some left-wing liberal program. If that is OK, shake and bash the mouse on the table. Don't be too gentle, except with the mouse cord. Make sure that there won't be any strain on the mouse cord during that. If that does not help either, replace the mouse. They are not made to last forever. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
We were thoroughly confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, my co-worker came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometrie." Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head. "This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Rob I knew I had been in the military too long when my five-year- old daughter sang her version of "Silent Night." It went like this: "Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright, Round yon virgin mother and child, Holy infantry, tender and mild..." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Get More Life Out of Sandpaper Just because a sandpaper has become flat doesn't necessarily mean it's worn out. The sandpaper may just be clogged with sawdust. Try removing the sawdust with a soft bristled brush. Thriftyfun.com A suede brush made with brass wire or brass plated steel wire works very well for reviving sand paper, even if it is clogged with not completely dry glue or paint. The wire is harder than the glue, but softer than the grit. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
Merry Christmas everyone and may God bless our Military where ever they are for Christmas.
___________________________________________________ Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick. "How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter. She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: As the owner of an old clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One day at the supermarket, just after I had filled my trunk with groceries, I noticed a stream of fluid pouring out of the bottom of the car. I knew I had to get home before the car was once again out of action. When I arrived, I asked my husband to take a look at the problem. Expecting the worst, I braced myself for his diagnosis. When he came back in, he was smiling. "It's apple juice," he said. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 25 in
800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor in Rome by
Pope Leo III. 

1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England. 

1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first Nativity
scenes, in Greccio, Italy. 

1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the Delaware
River for a surprise attack against Hessian forces at Trenton,
NJ. 

1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, at the
Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria. 

1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional
pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion that
resulted in the Civil War. 

1896 John Philip Sousa finally titled the melody "The Stars and
Stripes Forever." 

1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed an
unofficial truce, exchanging presents and even playing football
together on the Western Front. 

1917 The play "Why Marry?" opened at the Astor Theatre in New
York City. "Why Marry?" was the first dramatic play to win a
Pulitzer Prize. 

1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death of his
father Emperor Taisho. 

1930 The Mt. Van Hoevenberg bobsled run at Lake Placid, New York
opened to the public. It was the first bobsled track of
international specifications to open in the U.S. 

1931 Lawrence Tibbett was the featured vocalist as radio came to
the Metropolitan Opera House in New York City. The first opera
was "Hansel und Gretel" and was heard on the NBC network of
stations. 

1939 "A Christmas Carol," by Charles Dickens, was read on CBS
radio for the first time. 

1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese. 

1946 W.C. Fields died at the age of 66. 

1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, DC,
recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188,000,000. 

1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake.
Over 10,000 people were killed. 

1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war and
protect USSR interests. 

1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife,
Elena, were executed following a popular uprising. 

1989 Dissident playwright Vaclav Havel was elected president of
Czechoslovakia. 

2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by fire
at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. The incident
occurred at the Dongdu Disco.

2018  smiled.


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Storage for back-ups 




Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, December 24



Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
NC Man who loved riding on top of passenger 
trains got decapitated by bridge

______________________________________________________
Today, December 24 in
1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the
country's Marxist government. The CIA organized, trained and
armed the Taliban to fight the Soviets.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause. --- P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - ), Parliament of Whores (1991) Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again. --- Mike Myers ______________________________________________________ A firefighter is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little Red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a Firefighter's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The firefighter says, "Hey, little girl, whatcha doing?" The little girl says, "I'm pretending to be a firefighter, and this is my fire truck!" The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl, that sure is a nice fire truck!" the firefighter says. "Thanks, mifter," says the little girl. The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the wagon to the dog's testicles. "Little girl," says the firefighter, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck, I think you could go faster." The little girl says, "You're probably right, mifter, but then I wouldn't have a siren!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Conversation with Mom Mother: 'Hello?' Daughter: 'Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?' Mother: 'You're going out?' Daughter: 'Yes.' Mother: 'With whom?' Daughter: 'With a friend.' Mother: 'I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.' Daughter: 'MOM, I didn't leave him. He left me!' Mother: 'You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.' Daughter: 'MA, I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?' Mother: 'I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.' Daughter: 'There are lots of things that you did and I don't.' Mother: 'What are you hinting at? Daughter: 'Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight..' Mother: 'You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?' Daughter: 'MA, its My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!' Mother: 'So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?' Daughter: 'MOM, He's not a loser.' Mother: 'A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.' Daughter: 'MA, I don't want to argue; should I bring over the kids or not?' Mother: 'Poor children with such a mother.' Daughter: 'Such a what?' Mother: 'With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.' Daughter: 'ENOUGH MA!!!' Mother: 'Don't scream at me. You probably scream at the loser too!' Daughter: 'Great MA, Now you're worried about the loser?' Mother: 'Ah, so you see he is a loser and I spotted him immediately.' Daughter: 'Goodbye, mother.' Mother: 'Wait! Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over? ' Daughter: 'I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!' Mother: 'If you never go out ...how do you expect to meet anyone?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One of the busiest times for a meat-department manager in a supermarket occurs when there is a sale on particular cuts. When we put cross-rib roasts on sale one day the result was predictable. I'd bring out a cart of roasts and before I could get them on display, women customers were jostling for their share. Three times I returned with a cart of roasts and three times they were gone before I got to the counter. The fourth time out I noticed that a man who had quietly been watching began to approach my cart. He elbowed his way in, pushing and shoving, and finally grasped a roast. Before he could retreat from the crush, an irate woman glared at him and said, "Sir, how about being a gentleman!" The fellow turned and said, "Ma'am, for twenty minutes I've been a gentleman, now I'm going to be a lady!" And with that he smiled, took his roast and walked away. ______________________________________________________ Hussaini-Bridge, Pakistan _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award has been earned by Varcy Locklear, 24, Lumberton, North Carolina NC Man who loved riding on top of passenger trains got decapitated by bridge Varcy Locklear’s dangerous hobby is believed to have killed him as he rode an Amtrak train in Lumberton, North Carolina in late October. The 24 year-old’s skull was found on December 11 by train crew, and formally identified as belonging to him Thursday. Locklear’s headless corpse was discovered shortly after his death on October 30. Officials believe it lay on top of the train after Locklear was decapitated, then fell off shortly after the locomotive passed through a track switching area and swayed from side to side as a result. After the train in question was examined, investigators found blood spatter on its roof consistent with the decapitation theory. He was known to cops for hopping on trains without a ticket, and had been charged numerous times with trespassing. Enfield Police Captain Dreher Bozard told the Fayetteville Observer: ‘He has been charged in the past with some trespassing charges dealing with trains. ‘He has been charged, and he’s also been warned several times about trespassing on train property, so he has a history of this. ‘He also has gone on Facebook before and posted a video on Facebook live of him standing in front of a train and jumping out of the way at the last second.’ Murphy added: ‘It’s a bizarre case. (Investigators) were shocked like anybody else would be to see anything of that magnitude.? His death saw the train he was traveling atop forced to stop for 46 minutes. An Amtrak spokesman said that 99 passengers were on board at the time, and added that no-one else was injured. Locklear’s death is being treated as accidental. Possibly the bonehead sat up to get above the Diesel exhaust, was riding looking backwards and did not see the bridge.
From: Gale Re: Back-up storage Dear Webby, I want to tell you how much I admire your picture in which you are wearing the red shirt and hood. You make it look good! Months ago you were highly recommending a storage/recovery system for pictures; alas, I did not note the name of it. My skills are remedial and now I know enough to wish I had such a good system. Thank you for your newsletter. Gale Dear Gale Quite a few electronics and camera stores are giving away thumb drives looking like key fobs, with their company logo printed on them. Some try to sell them, but fork them over if you ask nicely. You can also use camera chips. They are cheap. The problem with those is that they are small and like getting lost unless you have a dedicated place to store them and are an obnoxious nuisance insisting that EVERYBODY stores them there. A zip-lock or sturdy freezer zip bag attached to a monitor or shelf with double-sided tape is a good solution. Ideally you have two or more camera chips, and always have one of them in the bank safe deposit box, far away from the computer and the house. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years." "Amazing," said the councelor. "How did you do it?" "I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a chicken."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At a high School in Montana a group of high schoolers played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose in the school. Before they let them go they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1,2,4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3. We did that with cows. Cows walk up, but do NOT walk down stairs, and have to be carried down the stairs on stretchers. Did we ever get yelled at! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com GNo Snow Pants? If you don't want to buy snow pants, just spray an old pair of jeans with water repellent. Wear a pair of long johns underneath to help keep you warm. Plastic bags work as a substitute to snow boots in a pinch Thriftyfun.com Baby Oil works great as an emergency water repellant, especially in the cold, and washes out clean. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
This little girl is so adorable.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Marg for this report: For all of you with teenagers or who had teenagers, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: 1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name. 2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all human efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on them hand and foot. 3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents. 4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor you teen will ever crack a smile. 5. No cat or teenager shares you taste in music. 6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing. 7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did. 8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom. 9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture. 10. Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior. Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned. As for the use of catnip as a reward or an enticement, that is being hotly debated. ___________________________________________________ The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk ." What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly he scribbled his definitive answer: 4. Available in attractive containers. He got an A for it. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 24 in
1814 The War of 1812 between the U.S. and Britain was ended with
the signing of the Treaty of Ghent in Belgium. 

1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Germany composed the music for
"Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr. 

1828 William Burke who, with his partner William Hare, dug up the
dead and murdered to sell the corpses for dissection, went on
trial in Edinburgh. 

1851 A fire devastated the Library of Congress in Washington, DC,
destroying about 35,000 volumes. 

1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a private
social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan. 

1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to broadcast a
music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA. 

1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made when
a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a rectory in
Dover. 

1928 The first broadcast of "The Voice of Firestone" was heard. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt appointed Gen. Dwight D.
Eisenhower supreme commander of Allied forces as part of
Operation Overlord. 

1944 The Andrews Sisters starred in the debut of "The Andrews
Sisters’ Eight-To-The-Bar-Ranch" on ABC Radio. 

1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport ship S.S.
Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 800 American
soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the English Channel to
be reinforcements at the battle that become known as the Battle
of the Bulge. 

1948 For the first time ever, a midnight Mass was broadcast on
television. It was held at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York
City. 

1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied in
Dover, MA. 

1951 NBC-TV presented, "Amahl and the Night Visitors," the first
opera written for television. 

1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of Libya,
under King Idris. 

1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed about
100lbs. 

1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon. 

1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and Frank
Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 times before
coming back to Earth. Seven months later man first landed on the
moon. 

1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the
country's Marxist government. The CIA organized, trained and
armed the Taliban to fight the Soviets.

1981 In Eastern Kazakh/Semipalatinsk, the Soviet Union performed
a nuclear test. 

1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he had
stopped smoking.

1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at the
Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City. 

1990 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married. 

1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former Defense
Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the Iran-Contra
scandal. 

1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, known as "Carlos the Jackal," was
sentenced by a French court to life in prison for the 1975
murders of two French investigators and a Lebanese national. 

1998 At Disneyland in Anaheim, CA, a tourist was hit by a piece
of flying metal while waiting to board a ride. The man's wife and
a Disneyland employee were also injured. Luan Phi Dawson died
December 26th from his injuries. 

1999 Ivory Coast President Henri Konan Bédié was overthrown in a
coup. 

1999 An Indian Airlines plane was seized during a flight from
Katmandu, Nepal, to New Delhi. In Afghanistan, the 150 hostages
were freed on December 31 after India released three Kashmir
militants from prison. 

2000 36 minutes after the end of a game, both the New England
Patriots and the Miami Dolphins were called back to the playing
field. The teams had to play the final 3 seconds of the game
which the Dolphins had won 27-24. The end result did not change. 

2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas
prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. 

2018  smiled.


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Hiding recipient's addresses 




Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, December 23

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
British dad bit his baby’s nose and 
shook him to death

______________________________________________________
Today, December 23 in
1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley
 invented the transistor. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. --- Bernard Bailey ______________________________________________________ Then there was the hillbilly woman who came to the hospital to have her first child. A year later she was back for a second child. The next year, almost like clockwork, she was back for her third child. The hospital staff naturally began to expect her, and she was there, just like clockwork. In the twelfth year - she didn't show, and the staff wondered what happened...A couple of years later she shows up, but she's not pregnant. The hospital staff wonder what happened - did her husband die, or what? When asked why she hadn't been there having a baby the past couple of years, she replied: "No, no more. Found out what was causin' it." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Vince: When my wife says, "Do you know what we need to do?" it's a pretty safe bet, that she doesn't really mean "we." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the people at the clerk's office that she was exempt because of her age. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," they said. "I've already done that," she replied. "I did it last year." "You have to do it every year," she was told. "Why?" came the response. "Do you think I'm going to get younger without telling anybody?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Doulton Phillips, 17, Southampton Great Britain British dad bit his baby’s nose and shook him to death Neighbours recalled hearing ‘blood-curdling screams’ as Doulton Phillips killed his son Reggie. The teenager, now 17, can be named for the first time after jurors found him guilty of murder. Doulton Phillips bit his baby’s nose before violently swinging him to death His identity was protected while he stood trial alongside his girlfriend Alannah Skinner, 19, the baby’s mother. Jurors found Skinner, who was 18 at the time, guilty of child cruelty for failing to protect or seek help for her baby. Phillips fractured the baby’s skull and ribs, leaving him with a broken leg and bruises, a court heard. The ‘deliberate’ attack happened in the early hours of February 11 at Skinner’s one-room flat in Southampton after they spent the night drinking vodka and beer at a neighbour’s party. Prosecutor Adam Feest QC said the series of injuries showed how the baby met with a ‘violent end’. ‘Residents across the road recall hearing what they described as a blood-curdling or painful scream coming from the flat at about 3am,’ he added. One neighbour heard ‘a gut-wrenching cry of pain coming from a baby’ and the ‘sort of screaming that turned her stomach’, he said. When the baby was taken to hospital, Phillips told a neighbour: ‘What have I done?’ But he later claimed to police that Reggie accidentally fell from the sofa when having his nappy changed, or fell from his arms while the couple were arguing. Mr Feest said the explanation could not account for the ‘severity or multiplicity of the injuries sustained’. He added: ‘They are more in keeping with a violent shaking or swinging, or indeed both.
From: Jeanne Re: Hiding recipient addresses Dear Webby, My question is how do you forward a list of information or jokes to list of friends without it showing up on the To: or Cc: I want it to go out without them seeing who I sent it to. Thanks, Jeanne, From London Dear Jeanne Look for the BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) The BCC addresses don't show to other recipients. Make sure you put your own address into the TO, otherwise your mail will look like spam and be filtered out by a lot of mail services. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Ross for sending this story and picture: Daughter: My friends and I want to go out tonight. Mother: Where are ya'll going? Daughter: To the cowboy bar on the edge of town. Mother: I'm don't think you should. There's been a lot of trouble at that place. I heard there was a fight there last weekend, and several people got hurt. Daughter: But mom!! Please!! It'll be okay. Mother: No, your life is more important than going out. Daughter: But Tiny is going with us... Mother: Well, in that case, it should be okay. Ya'll have fun!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Dianne for this wise advice: Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married. The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... three cuckoos plus nine cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos— MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT.' He didn't seem annoyed in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, 'oh, shit.' Cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, farted and tripped over the coffee table. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Give A Live Plant Instead Of A Bouquet Instead of a flower bouquet that will be wilted and in the trash in a week or two, consider buying a plant. It could be a houseplant or something to plant in the yard in the spring. You can enclose a card saying, "Watch our love grow!" Thriftyfun.com Your plant could even be some herbs in a window-sill her garden. I have seen windowsill herb gardens that have half a dozen popular herbs in them. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
That will teach them to steal packages off your front porch!
___________________________________________________ Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years." ___________________________________________________ An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 23 in

1823 The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore ("
'Twas the night before Christmas...") was published. 

1834 English architect Joseph Hansom patented his 'safety cab',
better known as the Hansom cab. 

1856 Ralph Collier was issued a U.S. patent for the first rotary
egg beater with rotating parts. 

1880 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Electric Light Company
of Europe. 

1888 Following a quarrel with Paul Gauguin, Dutch painter Vincent
Van Gogh cut off part of his own earlobe. 

1893 The Engelbert Humperdinck opera "Hansel und Gretel" was
first performed, in Weimar, Germany. 

1913 The Federal Reserve Bill was signed into law by U.S.
President Woodrow Wilson. The act established 12 Federal Reserve
Banks. 

1919 The first ship designed to be used as an ambulance for the
transport patients was launched. The hospital ship was named USS
Relief and had 515 beds. 

1930 Ruth Elizabeth Davis, an unknown actress, arrived in
Hollywood, under contract to Universal Studios. Universal changed
her name to Bette Davis for the movies. 

1941 During World War II, American forces on Wake Island
surrendered to the Japanese. 

1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. It was
the first of the traditional Christmas shows. 

1943 "Hansel and Gretel," the opera, was televised on New York's
WRBG. It was the first complete opera to be televised. 

1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley
invented the transistor. 

1948 Former Japanese premier Hideki Tojo and six other Japanese
war leaders were executed in Tokyo. They had been found guilty of
crimes against humanity. 

1951 A National Football League (NFL) championship game was
televised nationally for the first time. The Los Angeles Rams
beat the Cleveland Browns 24-17. The DuMont Network had paid
$75,000 for the rights to the game. 

1953 Soviet secret police chief Lavrenti Beria and six of his
associates were shot for treason following a secret trial. 

1954 The Walt Disney movie "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" was
released. 

1965 A 70-mph speed limit was introduced in Britain. 

1968 The crew of the U.S. Navy ship, Pueblo, was released by
North Korea. The Captain of the Pueblo, Commander Lloyd M.
Bucher, and 82 of his crew were held for 11 months after the ship
was seized by North Korea because of suspected spying by the
Americans. 

1970 In New York, the topping out ceremony for original One World
Trade Center (North Tower) took place. The South Tower's ceremony
took place on July 19, 1971. 

1981 NASA approved a plan to continue the Voyager II spacecraft
on a trajectory that would take it within 66,000 miles of Uranus
on July 24, 1986. 

1986 The experimental airplane Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and
Jeana Yeager, completed the first non-stop, around-the-world
flight without refueling as it landed safely at Edwards Air Force
Base in California. 

1987 Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, serving a life sentence for the
attempted assassination of U.S. President Ford in 1975, escaped
from the Alderson Federal Prison for Women in West Virginia. She
was recaptured two days later. 

1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife,
Elena, were captured as they were attempting to flee their
country. 

1990 Elections in Yugoslavia ended, leaving four of its six
republics with non-Communist governments. 

1995 A fire in Dabwali, India, killed 540 people, including 170
children, during a year-end party being held near the children's
school. 

1995 The bodies of 16 members of the Solar Temple religious sect
were found in a clearing near Grenoble, France. 14 were presumed
shot by two people who then committed suicide. 

1997 Terry Nichols was convicted by a Denver jury on charges of
conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 federal
building bombing in Oklahoma City. The bomb killed 168 people. 

1998 Guerrillas in south Lebanon fired dozens of rockets at
northern Israel.

2018  smiled.


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Sbcglobal Problems 




Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, December 22
Days are getting longer now! YeeHaw!
This year's Winter Solstice is special, because we got a full
moon!
The solstice this year is special because the much anticipated  
"Cold Moon" will be visible during the night along with the Ursid
meteor shower.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida man tried to pay for McDonald's 
with bag of weed, police say

______________________________________________________
Today, December 22 in
1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray
photograph, of his wife's hand. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. --- David M. Ogilvy The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil but because of those who look on and do nothing. --- Albert Einstein ______________________________________________________ An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses. "Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death." "What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge. "Nuns with scissors." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this classic: Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. 'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, 'but in just a few weeks, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 BILLION dollars.' Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Three days later, she became his stepmother. Women are so much better at estate planning than men. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ TRANSLATION OF VACATION TERMS When choosing a vacation spot, be aware of the following advertising terminology and their meanings . . . Tropical . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Rainy. Old world charm . . . . . . . . No bath. Open bar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Free ice cubes Pre registered rooms . . . . .Both already occupied. Majestic setting . . . . . . . . . A long way from town. Secluded hideaway . . . . . . Impossible to find except by cab Options galore . . . . . . . . . . Nothing on the itinerary is included. Knowledgeable trip hosts . .They've been on a greyhound once Gentle breezes . . . . . . . . . OccasionalGale force winds. Plush . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Top and bottom sheets. Light and airy . . . . . . . . . . No air conditioning. Picturesque . . . . . . . . . . . Cutie on the billboard across the street Nominal fee . . . . . . . . . . . . Outrageous charge. Explore on your own . . . . . Pay for it yourself. No extra fees . . . . . . . . . . . No extras. Standard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sub-standard. Deluxe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Standard. Superior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . One free shower cap. All the amenities . . . . . . . . Shower cap and soap. Internet access . . . . . . . . You need your own dial-up account Only 25 cents per call . . . We knock you off-line every 5 minutes ______________________________________________________ Bryce Canyon. In the morning or evening Bryce Canyon is even more spectacular. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Andrew Gallagher, 23, Port St. Lucie, Floriduh Florida man tried to pay for McDonald's with bag of weed, police say Police were alerted to Anthony Andrew Gallagher's offer early Sunday morning and got a description of him from the worker. Police in Florida say a 23-year-old man went through a McDonald's drive-thru and tried to pay for his order with a bag of marijuana. News outlets report Port St. Lucie police say the fast food worker denied the trade and Anthony Andrew Gallagher drove off, only to return again a short time later. Police arrested him Sunday on charges of marijuana possession and driving under the influence. Police were alerted to Gallagher's offer early Sunday morning and got a description of him from the worker. They say a suspect matching his description went through the drive-thru a little while later and police approached him. It's unclear if Gallagher attempted to pay for his order with drugs the second time.
From: Rosalie Re: sbcglobal problems Dear Webby, I have been signed up to your web site for a long time and yet I only get your e-mails maybe once a month or every other month. I also signed up to Webby's site and never get anything, although I use to receive it everyday. Don't' know what the problem is but I sure do miss your's and Webby's everyday musings. Rosalie ******@sbcglobal.net Dear Rosalie With Yahoo's sbcglobal you have to expect that. It is not something you did or didn't do. Most Yahoos have that problem. Just get yourself a free gmail address for important stuff. Gmail is free and quite reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
How the stock market works Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He then announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 ! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each." The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Some even got loans from a new bank in order to buy monkeys at $35 ! Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys and bankers everywhere! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Brigit for this report: In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits used belonged to our drill instructor. For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash" and to the racks where we slept as "my racks." One time when when we were whispering in the head (bathroom) while making "head calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us. To our surprise, she suddenly yelled, "Why do I hear voices in my head?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Old Mail Box As A Train Tunnel If you know a toy train enthusiast (or are one yourself) you can use an old metal mailbox to create a tunnel for your train. Just remove the door and back of the mailbox and let your toy train travel through it. Thriftyfun.com An old, worn out door mat or throw rug works fine too. Build the track first. It can be curved and even exit on the same side higher up, like the spiral tunnel at Kicking Horse Canyon in BC. Use a 2" vaccum cleaner hose or similar spacer on the track, drape the throw rug over it and sprinkle it with cement and water. You don't need a lot, it just has to be stiff enough, that it doesn't collapse when you pull the hose out a day later. You can, of course also use boxes or pieces of wood as spacers and create a realistic looking mountain. A ragged old cocos mat door entrance mat, sprayed with a bit of green spray paint makes a very realistic looking mountain. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
That will teach them to steal packages off your front porch!
___________________________________________________ A boy was watching his father, a preacher, write a sermon. He asked, "How do you know what to say, dad?" His father said, "Why, God tells me, son." The boy was silent for a moment, then said, "Then why do you keep crossing things out?" ___________________________________________________ The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family waiting for the news, "We had twins!" The family was so excited, they immediately asked, "Who do they look like?" The father paused, smiled and said, "Each other." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 22 in
1715 James Stuart, the "Old Pretender", landed at Petershead
after his exile in France. 

1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the rebellious
American colonies under the command of Ezek Hopkins. 

1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed to force
peace between Britain and France by cutting off all trade with
Europe. 

1864 During the American Civil War, Union Gen. William T. Sherman
sent a message to U.S. President Lincoln from Georgia. The
message read, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city
of Savannah." 

1877 The "American Bicycling Journal" went on sale for the first
time. 

1894 French army officer Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of treason
in a court-martial that triggered worldwide charges of anti-
Semitism. Dreyfus was eventually vindicated. 

1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray, of
his wife's hand. 

1910 U.S. Postal savings stamps were issued for the first time.
They were discontinued in 1914. 

1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world pistol
record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 points. She was 17
years old at the time. 

1943 Sporting goods manufacturers received permission to use
synthetic rubber for the core of baseballs. 

1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt. 

1961 James Davis became the first U.S. soldier to die in Vietnam,
while U.S. involvement was still limited to the provision of
military advisers. 

1984 New York City resident Bernhard Goetz shot four black youths
on a Manhattan subway. Goetz claimed they were about to rob him. 

1989 Romania's hard-line Communist ruler, Nicolae Ceausescu, was
overthrown in a popular uprising. 

1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly elected
president. 

1991 The body of Lt. Col. William R. Higgins, an American hostage
murdered by his captors, was found along a highway in Lebanon. 

1996 A car bomb exploded in Belfast, injuring a known IRA
supporter. Police suspected that Protestant loyalists were
responsible for the attack. 

1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to smuggle
cigarettes into Canada. 

2001 Thirty Afghans, including two women, were sworn in as part
of the new interim government in Afghanistan. Hamid Karzai was
the head of the post-Taliban government.

2018  smiled.


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Extra USB ports 



1945 U.S. Gen. George S. Patton died in Heidelberg, Germany, 
of injuries from a car accident. 



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Attaching files to email 




Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, December 20

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
PA lawyer and girlfriend took sexually 
explicit photos of drugged woman

______________________________________________________
Today, December 20 in
1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his 
incandescent light at Menlo Park, NJ.

1990 The world's first website and server go live at CERN. The
first website was
http://info.cern.ch/hypertext/WWW/TheProject.html. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. --- Stephen King (1947 - ) A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The first virtue of all really great men is that they are sincere. They eradicate hypocrisy from their hearts. --- Anatole France Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded. —-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner ______________________________________________________ When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," the doctor said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Ed Can't Win for Losing I use to go out with a lovely lady who was attending the local university striving for a PhD in her chosen field of medicine, Psychiatry. But I had to throw in the towel, cuz I just couldn't win. If I was late for a date, I was hostile. If I was early, I had an anxiety complex. If I was on time, I was compulsive." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older-Person-Friendly" policies. One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, he called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang on job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome." "Yes, I know, boss, and I am working on it." "Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?" "They usually said, 'Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, sir?'" ______________________________________________________ Maijishan Caves, Tianshui, China _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lawrence Weinstein, left, and Kelly Drucker Doylestown, Pennsylvania. PA lawyer and girlfriend took sexually explicit photos of drugged woman Prosecutors say a former Pennsylvania township official and his girlfriend spiked a woman's drink and used a hidden camera to take sexually explicit photographs of her while she was unconscious. Lawrence Weinstein and Kelly Drucker are charged with false imprisonment, invasion of privacy, recklessly endangering another person, criminal conspiracy and violations of the Pennsylvania Wiretap Act. They surrendered to Bucks County detectives Tuesday. Weinstein is a lawyer who recently left his job as a Northampton Township supervisor. The Philadelphia Inquirer reports the plot came to light after Drucker's ex-husband noticed his teenage daughter had been given her mom's old phone. He discovered the texts detailing the plan. Investigators say they found photos on Weinstein's iPad showing him assaulting another unconscious woman in 2012. He's facing additional charges in that case.
From: Nora Re: Attach files to email Dear Webby, Could you explain how to send and attachment's. I have had my computer for 7 year's now and no one to show me how to do it. And sometime's there are thing's I would like to send on and I can't because I don't know how. If you could would you print it out so I can follow it in your column . I catch on really fast but that is one thing I don't even know how to start doing it. Nora Dear Nora I don't really know what email program you use. With Eudora, you simply drag a file from an Explorer or File Save window into the header area of a mail that you are writing, or onto the Eudora shortcut on your desktop. Or if you prefer to do it with just the keyboard, hit CTRL H, and a file browser opens to let you find and select what to attach. Eudora is one of the oldest email programs, and most others copied most or all of Eudora's code, and will therefore work similarly. Considering the ad on your mail, you might have Incredimail, which is sometimes called the funky great-granddaughter of Eudora and has inherited a lot from it. Chances are very good that the same procedure still works. Keep in mind that there are two ways to send pictures or movies: Embedded and Attached. Embedded are pictures showing inline like the pictures here. Attached are items like the Large picture here, that you have to click on a link to open it up. Usually, you can open a picture in your paint program, hit CTRL C to copy it, jump to your mail, and hit CTRL V to paste it. That trick has worked since about 1993. Attaching is usually used just for items too large to fit on a page, or for movies. To Attach, hit CTRL H, or whatever combo your email program uses, and browse to the item. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Hillary had been busy campaigning, and her last stop of the day was at a Senior Citizens Home. After walking in and looking around for a while she approached an elderly woman in a wheel chair. Bending over to be on eye level with her, she asked her "Do you know who I am?" The elderly lady gave her a good looking over, then told her "No I don't. You don't look familiar. Just go to the front desk, they will tell you who you are."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Georgina for this report: I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our kids to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. When she poured a small amount for my husband to taste, our six-year-old piped up, "Mom can drink a lot more than that!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Think Twice About to Rent-To-Own They offer expensive financing which will cost at least double for any products you buy. You are much better served by getting a loan from a credit union, using a low interest credit card, or better yet, saving money every month so you can buy the product outright. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Christmas miracles by West Jet.
___________________________________________________ About a year ago a friend, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?" "Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Visiting the National Museum of the American Indian in Washington, D.C., my sister and I were admiring a beautiful tribal headdress decorated with eagle feathers. A man came up to us and identified himself as a Native American. "Do you know how warriors got those?" the man asked, pointing to the feathers. "They covered a hole with brush, tied a live rabbit on top of it and hid underneath. When an eagle swooped down for the kill, they would grab its wing or tail." "Fascinating," I said. "You learned that from your tribal elders?" "Actually, no," the man confessed. "I saw it on the Discovery Channel." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 20 in
1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set sail
from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the start of the
first permanent English settlement in America. 

1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be changed
from September 1 to January 1. 

1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States began
operating at Pawtucket, RI. 

1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included the
Louisiana Territories from France for $15 million. The transfer
was completed with formal ceremonies in New Orleans. 

1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax bachelors
between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. The tax was $1 a
year. 

1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent
light at Menlo Park, NJ. 

1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way"
when it was lighted by electricity. 

1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the
pneumatic tire. 

1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME. 

1933 The film "Flying Down to Rio" was first shown in New York. 

1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope television
system. 

1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare between
Vietnam partisans and French troops began. 

1954 Buick Motor Company signed Jackie Gleason to one of the
largest contracts ever entered into with an entertainer. Gleason
agreed to produce 78 half-hour shows over a two-year period for
$6,142,500. 

1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to West
Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It closed again on
January 6, 1964. 

1973 The Spanish premier Carrero Blanco was assassinated in
Madrid. 

1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, a
Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector off
Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion. 

1989 General Noriega, Panama's former dictator, was overthrown by
a United States invasion force invited by the new civilian
government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause. 

1990 The world's first website and server go live at CERN. The
first website was
http://info.cern.ch/hypertext/WWW/TheProject.html. 

1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, Colombia,
crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of the 163 people
aboard. 

1996 Doctors reported that a Cypriot woman who had taken
fertility drugs was carrying about 11 embryos. 

1998 In Houston, TX, a 27-year-old woman gave birth to the only
known living set of octuplets. 

1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples were
entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded couples
of the opposite sex. 

1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred from
Portugal to China. 

2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance
the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan. 

2001 Argentina's President Fernando De la Rua resigned after two
years in power. 

2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan to
help the nation heal after decades of war.

2018  smiled.


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Moving old mail to a thumb drive 




Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, December 19

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Indiana car jacking victim shot back
Car jacker seriously injured and arrested

______________________________________________________
Today, December 19 in
1871 Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
[Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. --- Al Capp (1909 - 1979) The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ______________________________________________________ Contemporary Latin Phrases: "Domino vobiscum." (The pizza guy is here.) "Auda similarum ad seattles." (They all sound just like Pearl Jam.) "Sharpei diem." (Seize the wrinkled dog.) "Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus." (Remove foil before microwaving.) "Il guyus nissanem iste ickye." (That Nissan guy gives me the creeps.) "Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi ad infinitum." (Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.) "Motorolus interruptus." (Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel.) "Veni, vidi, Pesci." (I came, I saw, I moidered da bum.) "Revelare Pecunia!" (Show Me The Money!) "Sic semper tyrannus." (Your dinosaur is ill.) "No Quid Pro Quo." (I'm Sorry, We're All Out of Quid.) "Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus." (It's Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer.) "Veni, Vidi, Velcro" (I came; I saw; I stuck around.) "Et tu, pluribus unum?" (The government just stabbed me in the back!) ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome - one has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David. Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. I! n fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite." The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date, I'd disapprove of every young man who took them out. But when the time came, I was pleased that my friend's prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well mannered. Talking to my daughter Joanna one day, I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters brought home. "You know, Dad," she replied, "we don't show you everybody." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by (Mug shot is from a previous arrest) Derrick Hart Lawrence, Indiana Indiana car jacking victim shot back Car jacker seriously injured and arrested Carjackers and other petty criminals often think that being armed puts them in charge, but an incident in Indiana has once again shown that the Second Amendment can quickly transform a predator into prey. On Thursday, a would-be robber jumped into another person’s car during broad daylight. The accused criminal, later identified as Derrick Hart, flashed a gun and demanded money. Hart had made a grave miscalculation. The “victim” in the car was also armed, and willing to put up a fight. According to WXIN News, the driver of the car told Hart that he didn’t have any cash, and was then ordered at gunpoint to drive to a nearby Chase Bank ATM. The victim complied, but was hatching a plan of his own. “At the time, an armored vehicle was stocking the branch’s ATMs, so the victim attempted to steer towards it hoping to find help. When the robber told the victim to avoid the truck, a fight broke out,” the station reported. “The robbery victim grabbed his gun and they started fighting in the vehicle in very close quarters over that gun,” Deputy Chief Gary Woodruff said. As the two men were fighting, the car crashed into a fence and both the robber and the resisting victim jumped out of the vehicle. That’s when the car’s owner — who has asked to remain anonymous — drew his own concealed handgun. “Unbeknownst to the robbery suspect, the victim had his own firearm and so they engaged in an exchange of gunfire,” Woodruff said. Hart was shot two times, while the car owner was also injured. Luckily, nearby police officers heard the gunfire. “They hear the gunfire and immediately respond, and they’re able to stabilize the situation and make an almost immediate apprehension of the suspect,” the deputy chief explained. Hart was placed under arrest and taken to a hospital where he was listed in serious condition. Police said he already had at least one warrant and would now be facing additional charges of armed robbery, aggravated battery and criminal confinement. Although the anonymous armed citizen was hurt, he or she is expected to be OK. “We’re just thankful it wasn’t worse, we’re thankful there was no loss of life, and thankful that there weren’t any other people directly impacted as a result of this incident for sure,” Woodruff said. This is the type of story that is often overlooked by the media and gun-grabbing politicians on the left. “States with the largest increases in gun ownership also have the largest drops in violent crimes,” gun violence expert John R. Lott Jr. summarized to the University of Chicago Press. “Concealed handgun laws reduce violent crime for two reasons,” Lott explained. “First, they reduce the number of attempted crimes because criminals are uncertain which potential victims can defend themselves. Second, victims who have guns are in a much better position to defend themselves.” While statistically rare tragedies like mass shootings dominate the headlines, incidents of legally armed citizens defending themselves are much more common — and thankfully, this latest incident ended with the good guy winning.
From: Fred Re: Moving mail to flash drive Dear Webby, I may be having a senior moment- But how do I save my e-mails to a flash drive???? Not new incoming mail, just the years of old mail. Thanks in advance-- FRED Dear Fred That depends on the email program you use. With Eudora, you simply drag IN.MBX and IN.TOC onto the flash drive, to get whatever you have in the IN mailbox. OUT.MBX and OUT.TOC would be your OUT mailbox. And so on. Different programs use different names, but most have two files per mailbox. If you use a 1 or 2 GB key-fob flash drive, you can easily drag all of your mailboxes to and from it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We can get a new cat tomorrow."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One day three redneck couples in a mini van are heading to Yellowstone National Park on a vacation. One couple is from Nebraska, one is from Kansas, and one is from New Jersey. They stop at a little cafe on the side of the road for breakfast. Their waitress serves them their food, and the husband from Nebraska says, "Could you pass the honey, Honey?" to whom his wife, hands over the honey. Then, the husband from Kansas says, "Could you pass the sugar, Sugar?" and she passes him the sugar. The third husband sits there for a minute, then looks at his wife and says, "Wanna pass me the bacon, porky?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Keeping Paint Off Hinges It can be difficult to put masking tape on hinges to keep paint off them. Instead, cover them with petroleum jelly. Any paint that gets on them will be easy to wipe off, even after the paint dries. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
___________________________________________________ A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But, if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise." ___________________________________________________ Some helpful rules for better writing: 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat) 6. Comparisons are as bad as clichs. 7. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 8. Be more or less specific. 9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 10. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 11. No sentence fragments. 12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14. One should NEVER generalize. 15. Don't use no double negatives. 16. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 18. The passive voice is to be ignored. 19. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. 20. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 22. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 19 in
1154 Henry II became King of England. 

1562 The Battle of Dreux was fought between the Huguenots and the
Catholics, beginning the French Wars of Religion. 

1732 Benjamin Franklin began publishing "Poor Richard's Almanac."


1777 General George Washington led his army of about 11,000 men
to Valley Forge, PA, to camp for the winter. 

1842 Hawaii's independence was recognized by the U.S. 

1843 Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first published in
England. 

1871 Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones. 

1887 Jake Kilrain and Jim Smith fought in a bare knuckles fight
which lasted 106 rounds and 2 hours and 30 minutes. The fight was
ruled a draw and was halted due to darkness. 

1903 The Williamsburg Bridge opened in New York City. It opened
as the largest suspension bridge on Earth and remained the
largest until 1924. It was also the first major suspension bridge
to use steel towers to support the main cable.

1907 A coalmine explosion in Jacobs Creek, PA, killed 239
workers. 

1917 The first games of the new National Hockey League (NHL) were
played. Five teams made up the league: Toronto Arenas, Ottawa
Senators, Quebec Bulldogs, the Montreal Canadiens and the
Montreal Wanderers. 

1918 Robert Ripley began his "Believe It or Not" column in "The
New York Globe". 

1932 The British Broadcasting Corp. began transmitting overseas
with its "Empire Service" to Australia. 

1957 Meredith Wilson’s "The Music Man" opened at the Majestic
Theatre in New York City. It ran for 1,375 shows. 

1957 Air service between London and Moscow was inaugurated. 

1959 Penn State’s Nittany Lions beat Alabama, 7-0, in the first
Liberty Bowl football game. 

1959 Walter Williams died in Houston, TX, at the age of 117. He
was said to be the last surviving veteran of the U.S. Civil War. 

1961 "Judgment At Nuremberg" opened in New York City. 

1972 Apollo 17 splashed down in the Pacific, ending the Apollo
program of manned lunar landings. 

1973 Johnny Carson started a fake toilet-paper scare on the
"Tonight Show." 

1978 Indira Gandhi was expelled from the Lok Sabha for contempt
and imprisoned. 

1979 ESPN televised its first NHL game. The teams were the
Washington Capitals and the Hartford Whalers. 

1984 Wayne Gretzky, 23, of the Edmonton Oilers, became only the
18th player in the National Hockey League (NHL) to score more
than 1,000 points. 

1984 Britain and China signed an accord returning Hong Kong to
Chinese sovereignty on July 1, 1997. 

1986 The Soviet Union announced it had freed dissident Andrei
Sakharov from internal exile, and pardoned his wife, Yelena
Bonner. 

1989 U.S. troops invaded Panama to overthrow the regime of
General Noriega. 

1996 The school board of Oakland, CA, voted to recognize Black
English, also known as "ebonics." The board later reversed its
stance. 

1997 "Titanic" opened in American movie theaters. 

1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two charges of
perjury and obstruction of justice by the U.S. House of
Representatives. 

1998 A four-day bombing of Iraq by British and American forces
ended. 

2000 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose sanctions on
Afghanistan's Taliban rulers unless they closed all terrorist
training camps and surrender U.S. embassy bombing suspect Osama
bin Laden. 

2003 Images for the new design for the Freedom Tower at the World
Trade Center site were released. The building slopes into a
spire
that reaches 1,776 feet. 

2008 U.S. President George W. Bush signed a $17.4 billion rescue
package of loans for ailing auto makers General Motors and
Chrysler.

2018  smiled.


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Yet another registry cleaner 




Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, December 18

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
A grandmother was arrested for dumping 
a vulnerable 17 year-old orphan at a 
highway rest area.

______________________________________________________
Today, December 18 in
1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 kph).

1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time 
by Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. --- Carl Sagan (1934 - 1996) Carl Sagan was a mediocre SF author and major proponent of the "Ice Age Is Coming because of YOUR muscle cars and YOUR CO2" scare in the late 60's and early 70's. He made big money giving speeches on that topic. Now that the Gullible Warming cycle is finished and we are entering the next "Ice Age is coming" cycle, you can re-use all of Carl Sagan's drivel. If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the session on weather, the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of sublimation, which is the act of going from a gas to a solid, while skipping the intermediate liquid stage. As an example, he gave water vapor in the air condensing on a windshield to form ice. Wanting to see if the class had understood the concept, the instructor asked if anyone could provide an example of something that went straight from a solid to a gas. He was expecting dry ice as the answer when one of the students blurted out, "Burritos!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. "Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, wildy gesturing with one hand and jerking the mike cord along with the other. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and said, "If he gets loose, we better run!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Janie Gill, 69, Greenwood County, Kansas A grandmother was arrested for dumping a vulnerable 17 year-old orphan at a highway rest area. Janie Gill, 69, drove the 'possibly autistic' teenager, who is also non-verbal, across state lines in late November and left him off the highway in Greenwood County, Kansas. She left the boy, named as Guy, with no money, medication, identification, or means to communicate and says she did so because she could not handle the teenager, police say. 'It's just really upsetting knowing that he was left,' the teenager's former teacher, Jessica Burdine told KAKE News. 'He's non verbal, unable to communicate his feelings and his needs and it just breaks my heart that he would just be left without anybody to care for him' It was unclear how long Guy, whose parents are dead, had been at the rest stop before Kansas deputies found him, said Rogers County Sheriff Scott Walton. Authorities believe he was abandoned for up to 24 hours before he was found by a custodian at the rest stop. 'It's just sad as all get out,' Walton said. 'On a positive note, I really believe this kid's going to come out better.' A neighbor told investigators that Gill locked her grandson in a room overnight and when she went to work. When authorities searched her home they found a 'deadbolt locking device' that 'had a key on the outside of the door,' so it could only be locked, or unlocked, from the outside. Gill told authorities multiple false stories about why she abandoned her grandson before she finally confessed that she left the boy at the rest stop because she knew someone would find him and give him the care he needs. Investigators say Gill was on her way to pick up her husband, who was being released from a Kansas prison. Originally, she told police that she left the boy with a relative in Ada, Oklahoma, but that was proven to be false. According to Walton, the incident may have a happy ending. He said the boy is happy and likes where he is now, in protective custody in Kansas. Gill was arrested for child neglect and is being held on $500,000 bond until she will be extradited to Greenwood County to be formally charged. According to Sheriff Walton, the incident may have a happy ending. He said the boy is happy and likes where he is now, in protective custody in Kansas.
From: Lee Re: Another registry cleaner Dear Webby, Enjoy your newsletter.'I have a question. Are you familiar with a software program called "Advenced Cleaner"? If so, is it effective, and is there any cost involved with it. Will it interfere with any other cleaning programs I have unstalled such as window washer, or Quick clean? The company website does not have a phone number, etc. so cannot talk to anyone live. Thank you, Lee Dear Lee Just use Spybot-Search&Destroy and Crap Cleaner. Those are proven to be good for decades, and are free. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present, but you may kiss the bride."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of the sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandma in bloomers." Cashier reply's: "That'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology to my wife!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Keeping Paint Off Hinges It can be difficult to put masking tape on hinges to keep paint off them. Instead, cover them with petroleum jelly. Any paint that gets on them will be easy to wipe off, even after the paint dries. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Ten times earth revealed it's weirdness in 2017.
___________________________________________________ Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?" ___________________________________________________ A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 18 in
1796 The "Monitor," of Baltimore, MD, was published as the first
Sunday newspaper. 

1862 The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New York
City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and Crippled. 

1865 U.S. Secretary of State William Seward issued a statement
verifying the ratification of the 13th Amendment to the U.S.
Constitution. The amendment abolished slavery with the
declaration: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except
as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly
convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place
subject to their jurisdiction." 

1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 kph). 

1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by the
U.S. for an annual rent. 

1912 The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was
announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953. 

1915 U.S. President Wilson, widowed the year before, married
Edith Bolling Galt at her Washington home. 

1916 During World War I, after 10 months of fighting the Allies
defeated the Germans in the Battle of Verdun. 

1935 A $1 silver certificate was issued for the first time in the
U.S. 

1936 Su-Lin, the first giant panda to come to the U.S. from
China, arrived in San Francisco, CA. The bear was sold to the
Brookfield Zoo for $8,750. 

1940 Adolf Hitler signed a secret directive ordering preparations
for a Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union. Operation "Barbarossa"
was launched in June 1941. 

1944 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the wartime relocation of
Japanese-Americans, but also stated that undeniably loyal
Americans of Japanese ancestry could not be detained. 

1950 NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western
Europe, including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary. 

1953 WPTZ, in Philadelphia, PA, presented a Felso commercial, it
was the first color telecast seen on a local station. 

1956 "To Tell the Truth" debuted on CBS-TV. 

1956 Japan was admitted to the United Nations. 

1957 The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania went
online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate electricity
in the United States. It was taken out of service in 1982. 

1963 Ron Clarke set a world record when he ran six miles in 28
minutes and 15.6 seconds. 

1965 Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates. 

1969 Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for murder.


1970 Divorce became legal in Italy. 

1972 The United States began the heaviest bombing of North
Vietnam during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 12 days later. 

1973 The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in London. 

1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time by
Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph. 

1983 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point in
the 34th game of the season. 

1987 Ivan F. Boesky was sentenced to three years in prison for
plotting Wall Street's biggest insider-trading scandal. He only
served about two years of the sentence. 

1996 Despite a U.N. truce, factional fighting in the Somali
capital of Mogadishu, broke out in which at least 300 fighters
and civilians were killed. 

1998 The U.S. House of Representatives began the debate on the
four articles of impeachment concerning U.S. President Bill
Clinton. It was only the second time in U.S. history that process
had begun. 

1998 Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the U.S.
attacks on Iraq. 

1998 South Carolina proceeded with the U.S.' 500th execution
since capital punishment was restored. 

1999 After living atop an ancient redwood in Humboldt County, CA,
for two years, environmental activist Julia "Butterfly" Hill came
down, ending her anti-logging protest. 

2001 Mark Oliver Gebel, a Ringling Bros. Circus star, went on
trial for animal abuse. The charges stemmed from an incident with
an elephant that was marching too slowly into a circus
performance on August 25, 2001. He was acquitted on December 21,
2001. 

2001 A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The
cathedral is the largest in the United States. 

2001 In Seattle, WA, Gary Leon Ridgeway pled innocent to the
charge of murder for four of the Green River serial killings. He
had been arrested on November 30, 2001. 

2009 General Motors announced that it would shut down its Saab
brand. 

2009 A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law with
its policy of digitizing books and fined the company a $14,300-a-
day fine until it rids its search engine of the literary
extracts. 

2009 James Cameron's movie "Avatar" was released in the United
States. On January 26, the movie became the highest-grossing film
worldwide. 

2010 In Nanjing, China, the Zifeng Tower opened. 

2018  smiled.


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Open Office or Google Docs? 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, December 14
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Did you see the Geminid meteor shower?
It is not always in winter. I remember when I was ten or maybe
twelve, it was in summer. The Alpine club went for a climbing
excursion to the Dolomites in South Tirol, now awarded to Italy
to punish Austria for losing WWI. Well, the folks still talked
German with a heavy Tirolean accent.

We got there just by nightfall and had a four or five hour march
up to the Alpine Club lodge. As soon as it was pitch black dark,
and the trail just lit by star light, I noticed a falling star!
WOW! Naturally I remembered the stories, that if you wished upon
a falling star without breathing, the wish would come true.

Well, I had a crush on a girl named Maria. So I silently said her
name each time I saw a falling star. Around midnight there were
probably ten falling stars per minute, maybe more.

Well, the climb the next day was very exciting. Nothing ever
happened with Maria. The cousin who had promised to give her a
message, forgot. And eventually I forgot about that Maria.
However, for about 25 years, every girl, who tangled with me, had
Maria or Mary in her name. 

Even the American, who talked me into coming to this continent
with her in 1970, and who then promptly dumped me after hitch-
hiking from New York to the Yukon, was named Mary. 
Around 1990 the Mary's tapered off. 
The stars apparently had stopped working.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
DUI suspect found asleep at wheel, 
arrested after high-speed chase

______________________________________________________
Today, December 14 in
1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and bolt
machine. Machine made consistent and interchangeable nuts and
bolts are often considered the main ingredient of the Industrial
Revolution. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Too much of a good thing is wonderful. --- Mae West (1892 - 1980) If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. --- Mo Udall Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. --- Thomas Jefferson Is that why Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton want gun control so badly? ______________________________________________________ If some hacker using one of your friend's messenger posts this: "I saw your name on the list and i want to know if you've got your money from the authority or not before it's closes..." feel free to use your most insulting cuss words. Get right carried away! When your friend sees that, she or he will fall down laughing. They know you would not talk to THEM that way. Contact your friends via email and tell them to change their Facebook and Messenger password, because some no-good Nigerian crook is abusing it. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When Trump was visiting Israel he met the Israeli Prime Minister. In classic Trump style, the U.S. President offers a gift to his guest. "Here you go, says Trump. "Try out this shiny new Cadillac. It's their finest model." "Thank you, Mr. President, but I can not accept this magnificent gift." replies the Prime Minister. "Oh. I understand about gift limits. Ok then ... give me a half dollar for it. Then it won't be a gift." replies Trump. The Prime Minister gives Trump a dollar. "I don't have any change ... too bad" says the President. "No big deal... you'll just give me two Cadillacs" retorts the Prime Minister. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ When John died, his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered than a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I knew he died of diarrhea. But it was his last wish, for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than just full of crap, like he always was." ______________________________________________________ Don't worry. If you don't open your parachute, you will probably land in the same country as your car keys. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Valdez Carrillo, Maricopa, Arizona DUI suspect found asleep at wheel, arrested after high-speed chase It was 6 a.m. on Sunday when Maricopa Police found 20-year-old Luis Valdez Carrillo asleep behind his steering wheel on State Route 347. Earlier that morning, police received a report that a dark- colored Dodge Charger ran into the center median on Interstate 10 and the vehicle was sitting at a green light for several cycles at SR 347 and Edison Road in Maricopa. After being woken up by officers, Valdez Carrillo appeared to have “bloodshot watery eyes, slow dextral movement and dazed expression,” according to the report. When police activated their red and blue lights, Valdez Carrillo acknowledged the officers’ presence and allegedly drove off at a “high rate of speed.” According to the report, he was weaving through lanes and nearly struck an officer with his vehicle. Officers eventually lost visual sight of Valdez Carrillo and set up a perimeter of his last known location. The vehicle was spotted later across town on Dutchman Drive in Maricopa Meadows, and Valdez-Carrillo was located in the back seat and arrested. At the police station, he blew a 0.150 and 0.147 during an alcohol breath test, according to police records. Valdez Carrillo was charged with underage driving under the influence of alcohol and possession of alcohol by an underage person, unlawful flight from law enforcement vehicle, endangerment, reckless driving, aggravated DUI with license revoked and an open container violation. Valdez Carrillo is held in the Pinal County Jail on $40,000 bond. He is scheduled to appear in court on Dec. 18.
From: Donny Re: Open Office or Google? Dear Webby, Thank you again for your newsletter and for your help in the past. I am just wondering if you know whether or not "Google Spreadsheets and Documents" are as good as "Open Office". I am now running MS Office 2000 and can no longer get updates so I'm considering changing. Also. will these other programs read my previously created documents (Word, Excel) and allow editing of them ? Any advice would be helpful and a reply would be appreciated - I will, however, watch the newsletter; which I am getting with no problems in Gmail. Thank you, Donny Dear Donny Google spreadsheets and documents are in Google format, and stored on Google, so that collaborators can work on them from various locations. While that may be handy for some specific tasks, it's not really what you need. I found them to be awkward and very slow. Open Office uses OPEN format, totally independent of the type of machine or operating system. It can read your WORD DOC and Excel stuff and even save in that format Converting to Open Office is totally painless and there is no need to get rid of M$ Office. It is free but a huge program, though, and will take a while to download. But it is well worth it! Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Q. What do you call a redneck couple with only two kids, each? A. Newlyweds.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Kati for this story: One day, Johnny Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. Bubba, where'd ya git dat truck?!?" "Tina gived it to me" Bubba replied "She gived it to ya? "I know'd she wuz kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?" "Well, Johnny, let me tell you what happened. We wuz drivin' out on County Road 301, in the middle of nowheres. Tina pulled off the road, put the truck in four-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want.' So I took the truck! " "Bubba, yore a smart man! Her clothes woulda never fit ya." She will shoot him when she gets back to town. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Writing Notes on the Bathroom Mirror When I need to do something in the AM, I jot a note on the bathroom mirror with a dry-erase marker at night. I see it as I am dressing and brushing teeth, and I can then wipe it off the mirror with a tissue. Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ >From Thorn During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., my squad was on a night patrol through some thick brush. Halfway through, we realized we'd lost our map. The patrol navigator informed us, "Our odds are 1 in 359 that we'll get out of here." "How did you come up with that?" someone asked. "Well," he replied, "one of the degrees on the compass has to be right." ___________________________________________________ A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.' The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take..! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.' The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand our wives I want to know how she feels inside what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment.., why she cries.., what she means when she says: 'Nothing's wrong'.., and how I can make a woman truly happy!' The Lord replied: 'Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?' ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 14 in
1503 Physician, astrologer and clairvoyant Nostradamus was born
at St. Remy, Provence, France. 

1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and bolt
machine. Machine made consistent and interchangeable nuts and
bolts are often considered the main ingredient of the Industrial
Revolution.

1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his
revolutionary Quantum Theory. 

1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight. The
engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged in the
attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made, the modern
aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft for 12 seconds
and flew 102 feet. 

1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man to
reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days ahead of
Captain Robert F. Scott. 

1918 For the first time in Britain women (over 30) voted in a
General Election. 

1939 The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations. 

1945 Josef Kramer, known as "the beast of Belsen," and 10 others
were executed in Hamelin for the crimes they committed at the
Belsen and Auschwitz Nazi concentration camps. 

1946 The U.N. General Assembly voted to establish the United
Nation's headquarters in New York City. 

1959 Archbishop Makarios was elected Cyprus' first president. 

1962 The U.S. space probe Mariner II approached Venus. It
transmitted information about the planet's atmosphere and surface
temperature. 

1975 Six South Moluccan terrorists surrendered to police after
holding 23 people hostage for 12 days on a train near the Dutch
town of Beilen. 

1981 Israel annexed the Golan Heights, seized from Syria in war
in 1967. 

1983 The U.S. battleship New Jersey fired on Syrian positions in
Lebanon for the first time after American F-14 reconnaissance
flights were fired on. 

1985 Wilma Mankiller became the first woman to lead a major
American Indian tribe as she formally took office as principal
chief of the Cherokee Nation of OKlahoma. 

1986 The experimental aircraft Voyager, piloted by Dick Rutan and
Jeana Yeager, took off from California on the first non-stop,
non-refueled flight around the world. The trip took nine days to
complete. 

1987 Chrysler pled no contest to federal charges of selling
several thousand vehicles as new when Chrysler employees had
driven the vehicles with the odometer disconnected. 

1988 CBS won the exclusive rights to major league baseball's
1990-94 seasons for $1.1 billion. 

1988 The first transatlantic underwater fiber-optic cable went
into service. 

1990 After 30 years in exile, ANC president Oliver Tambo returned
to South Africa. 

1993 A judge in Colorado struck down the state's voter-approved
Amendment Two prohibiting gay rights laws, calling it
unconstitutional. 

1993 The United Mine Workers approved a five-year contract that
ended a strike that had reached seven states and involved some of
the nation's biggest coal operators. 

1995 The presidents of Bosnia and Herzegovina, Serbia, Croatia
signed the Dayton Accords to end fighting in Bosnia. 

1995 AIDS patient Jeff Getty received the first-ever bone-marrow
transplant from a baboon. 

1997 Iran's newest president, Mohammad Khatami, called for a
dialogue with the people of the United States. The preceding
Iranian leaders had reviled the U.S. as "The Great Satan." 

1997 Mike Gartner (Phoenix Coyotes) became only the fifth player
in National Hockey League (NHL) history to score 700 career
goals. 

1997 Cuban President Fidel Castro declared Christmas 1997 an
official holiday to ensure the success of Pope John Paul II's
upcoming visit to Cuba. 

1998 Hundreds of Palestinian leaders renounced a call for the
destruction of Israel. 

1999 U.S. and German negotiators agreed to establish a $5.2
billion fund for Nazi-era slave and forced laborers. 

1999 Charles M. Schulz announced he was retiring the "Peanuts"
comic strip. The last original "Peanuts" comic strip was
published on February 13, 2000. 

2000 It was announced that American businessman Edmond Pope would
be released from a Russian prison for humanitarian reasons. Pope
had been sentenced to 20 years in prison after his conviction on
espionage charges. 

2001 European Union leaders agreed to dispatch 3,000-4,000 troops
to join an international peacekeeping force in Afghanistan. 

2001 The first commercial export, since 1963, of U.S. food to
Cuba began. The 24,000 metric tons for corn were being sent to
replenish what was lost when Hurricane Michelle struck on
November 4. 

2013 The Chinese spacecraft Chang'e 3 became the first spacecraft
to "soft"-land on the Moon since 1976. It was only the third
robotic rover to land on the moon. 

2018  smiled.


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Free Anti Virus Feedback 




Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, December 13

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Woman pulled over for DUI in St. Augustine claims "it sucks to be pretty," 

______________________________________________________
Today, December 13 in
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left
Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of the
globe. The journey took almost three years.  
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood. --- Fred Thompson Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. --- Author unknown ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for this story: A 3-year-old tells all One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 1 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favourite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??' And sure enough........!!! ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?' She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.' The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?' She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.' The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.' She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan , how are ye these days?' She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!' The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?' She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!' The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?' She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow up yer fookin' candle.' _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Angela for bringing back this classic: Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had? PIGEONS since I'm retired, with little to do? I told her that no I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I explained that I probably shouldn't be going back on this diet because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, although I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story). Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; that I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kim Tranter, 42, St. Augustine, Floriduh Woman pulled over for DUI in St. Augustine claims "it sucks to be pretty" A woman was arrested in St. Augustine for driving under the influence, according to St. Augustine Beach Police Department. St. Augustine police pulled over Kim Tranter for going 45 mph in a 30 mph, according to the report. The report said Tranter told police she was trying to get away from someone but could not tell the officer from whom she was trying to get away from. While Tranter was looking for her license, registration and proof of insurance the report said, "The defendant picked up her cell phone and put in a numerical code to unlock her cell phone, as if she forgot I requested her driver license, registration, and proof of insurance." The report says she claimed she only had two drinks. The report noted on the way to the jail, the defendant said, "It sucks to be pretty, but that's life though," and that she "stole two pieces of pizza and a sh---y box of wine." Not pretty enough to get away with drunk driving, stealing pizza and wine.
From: many Re: Free Anti Virus programs A lot of people wrote in and reported that AVG seems to be working fine for them, even on old systems. As long as there are no delicate data involved, it seems to be good enough. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Jai for this story: A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?" The mother answered: "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made." Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them." The confused girl returns to her mother and says: "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says we developed from monkeys?" The mother answers: "Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Moshe Rosenberg is a new recruit in the British Army. One day an officer asked him "What is your name?" "Moshe Rosenberg" he replied. The officer responded "You must say 'Sir' when you answer an officer of the British Army. What is your name?" "Sir Moshe Rosenberg." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning With Salt A paste of salt and vinegar help clean tarnished brass or copper. You can cover spilled juice or wine with salt to absorb much of the stain. Soaking washable fabrics in salt water will help remove many stubborn stains. For cleaning purposes use plain salt not iodized salt. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Cast iron frying pans and Woks that have an age old "seasoning" or oil patina, can be safely cleaned with salt, without endangering the patina or enraging the chef. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
Miss Universe 2018 national costume contest.
___________________________________________________ Bill was attending an outdoor music concertwith a young woman he had recently begun dating. Standing at the back of the crowd, they wrapped their arms around each other, swaying to the music. After a particularly romantic song, his date turned to face him. With a loving smile, she said, "I wish we were closer..." Totally thrilled, he looked into her eyes and whispered, "Do you mean our houses or our friendship?" Puzzled, she replied, "No, you dummy! ...To the stage." ___________________________________________________ An elderly woman walked into a liquor store with two guns, pointed them at the shop-keeper and said "Give me six bottles of scotch whiskey, all the money in the till, and then I want you to take me into your storeroom and make love to me." The shopkeeper got her the six bottles of scotch, emptied the money from the till into the old woman's handbag, and then went with her into the storeroom and made love to her. In the excitement the old lady dropped the guns on the floor. The shop-keeper paused a moment, then said "Madam, could you please pick up your guns again, I'm expecting my wife to arrive any minute." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 13 in
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left
Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of the
globe. The journey took almost three years. 

1636 The United States National Guard was created when militia
regiments were organized by the General Court of the
Massachusetts Bay Colony. 

1642 New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman. 

1809 The first abdominal surgical procedure was performed in
Danville, KY, on Jane Todd Crawford. The operation was performed
without an anesthetic. 

1816 John Adamson received a patent for a dry dock. 

1862 In America, an estimated 11,000 Northern soldiers were
killed or wounded when Union forces were defeated by Confederates
under General Robert E. Lee, at the Battle of Fredericksburg. 

1883 The border between Ontario and Manitoba was established. 

1884 Percy Everitt received a patent for the first coin-operated
weighing machine. 

1913 It was announced by authorities in Florence, Italy, that the
"Mona Lisa" had been recovered. The work was stolen from the
Louvre Museum in Paris in 1911. 

1921 Britain, France, Japan and the United States signed the
Pacific Treaty. 

1937 Japanese forces took the Chinese city of Nanking (Nanjing).
An estimated 200,000 Chinese were killed over the next six weeks.
The event became known as the "Rape of Nanking." 

1944 During World War II, the U.S. cruiser Nashville was badly
damaged in a Japanese kamikaze suicide attack. 138 people were
killed in the attack. 

1964 In El Paso, TX, President Johnson and Mexican President
Gustavo Diaz Ordaz set off an explosion that diverted the Rio
Grande River, reshaping the U.S.-Mexican border. This ended a
century-old border dispute. 

1980 Three days after a disputed general election, Uganda’s
President Milton Obote was returned to office. 

1981 Authorities in Poland imposed martial law in an attempt to
crack down on the Solidarity labor movement. Martial law ended
formally in 1983. 

1982 The Sentry Armored Car Company in New York discovered that
$11 million had been stolen from its headquarters overnight. It
was the biggest cash theft in U.S. history. 

1987 U.S. Secretary of State George Shultz told reporters in
Copenhagen, Denmark, that the Reagan administration would begin
making funding requests for the proposed Star Wars defense
system. 

1988 PLO chairman Yasser Arafat addressed the U.N. General
Assembly in Geneva, where it had reconvened after the United
States had refused to grant Arafat a visa to visit New York. 

1988 A bankruptcy judge in Columbia, SC, ordered the assets of
the troubled PTL television ministry sold to a Toronto real
estate developer for $65 million. 

1989 South African President F.W. de Klerk met for the first time
with imprisoned African National Congress leader Nelson Mandela,
at de Klerk's office in Cape Town. 

1991 Five Central Asian republics of the Soviet Union agreed to
join the new Commonwealth of Independent States. 

1991 North Korea and South Korea signed a historic non-aggression
agreement. 

1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people must receive a
hearing before property linked to illegal drug sales can be
seized. 

1993 The European Community ratified a treaty creating the
European Economic Area (EEA), to go into effect January 1, 1994. 

1994 An American Eagle commuter plane carrying 20 people crashed
short of Raleigh-Durham International Airport in North Carolina,
killing 15 people. 

1995 China's most influential democracy activist, Wei Jingsheng,
who already had spent 16 years in prison, was sentenced to 14
more years. 

1998 Puerto Rican voters rejected U.S. statehood in a non-binding
referendum. 

1998 Gary Anderson (Minnesota Vikings) kicked six field goals
against Baltimore. In the game Anderson set an National Football
League (NFL) record for 34 straight field goals without a miss. 

2000 U.S. Vice President Al Gore conceded the 2000 Presidential
election to Texas Gov. George W. Bush. The Florida electoral
votes were won by only 537 votes, which decided the election. The
election had been contested up to the U.S. Supreme Court, which
said that the Florida recount (supported by the Florida Supreme
Court) was unconstitutional. 

2000 Seven convicts, the "Texas 7," escaped from Connally Unit in
Kenedy, TX, southeast of San Antonio, by overpowering civilian
workers and prison employees. They fled with stolen clothing,
pickup truck and 16 guns and ammunition. 

2001 The U.S. government released a video tape that showed Osama
bin Laden and others discussing their knowledge of the terrorist
attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush served formal notice to Russia
that the United States was withdrawing from the 1972 Anti-
Ballistic Missile Treaty. 

2001 Israel severed all contact with Yasser Arafat. Israel also
launched air strikes and sent troops into Palestine in response
to a bus ambush that killed 10 Israelis. 

2001 Gunmen stormed the Indian Parliament and killed seven people
and injured 18. Security forces killed the attackers during a 90-
minute gunbattle. 

2001 NBC-TV announced that it would begin running hard liquor
commercials. NBC issued a 19-point policy that outlined the
conditions for accepting liquor ads. 

2001 Michael Frank Goodwin was arrested and booked on two counts
of murder, one count of conspiracy and three special
circumstances (lying in wait, murder for financial gain and
multiple murder) in connection to the death of Mickey Thompson.
Thompson and his wife Trudy were shot to death in their driveway
on March 16, 1988. Thompson, known as the "Speed King," set
nearly 500 auto speed endurance records including being the first
person to travel more than 400 mph on land. 

2018  smiled.


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Free Anti-virus 




Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, December 12

Tomorrow, Thursday night will be the best night for watching
falling stars.
The Geminid Meteor shower peaks Thursday night around midnight
with about 120 falling stars per hour. Dress warmly and set up a
lawn chair facing South or South-West. 
The Geminids come in high up, no obstructions along the horizon
interfering. As long as it does not snow in your area, you should
see lots of them!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Ohio Tattoo monster facing shoplifting
and drug charges

______________________________________________________
Today, December 12 in
1915 The first all-metal aircraft, the German Junkers J1, 
made its first flight. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. --- Susan Ertz, ______________________________________________________ A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway. She turned to a co-worker and said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting to cross?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one of the inmates has been watching the whole thing. "Hey, pal! Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of the other three wheels? That'll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage or something." Jones is startled by the patient's seeming rationality, but realizes the plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident. Before he leaves, he calls back to the patient. "You know, that was pretty sharp thinking. Why do they have you in there?" The patient smiles and says, "I'm in here because I'm crazy, not because I'm stupid." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The new patient was sharing his woes with an understanding doctor: "After the first, I'm usually tired and winded, Doc. After the second, my chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-hour for my heart and respiration to return to normal." "Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor. "How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient. "I live on the third." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alyssa Zebrasky, 27, Youngstown, Ohio Ohio Tattoo monster facing shoplifting and drug charges An Ohio woman is facing theft and drug-related charges after a shoplifting arrest at Walmart. According to WFMJ-TV, police were called to the store near Youngstown when an employee saw a woman stealing a bag while leaving the store. Officers arrested 27-year-old Alyssa Zebrasky and found a hypodermic needle and baggies containing what Zabrasky admitted were methamphetamine and a Suboxone pill. Zebrasky, who has gained fame online after her arrest due to her unique facial tattoos, was already wanted for failure to appear on an obstructing justice charge, WFMJ reported.
From: Sharon Re: Free Anti Virus programs Dear Webby, I have been reading your letter for several years now & really do enjoy a fresh way to start the day. I love the good clean jokes & some wonderful pictures. Also your tech dept has been very useful. Thanks, ever so much. I am curious about what you know about the free" avast" antivirus" program & free "avg antivirus" program. Thanks so much for all the help. Sharon Dear Sharon Those free anti-virus programs are definitely better than nothing at all. Personally, I consider paying $30 for MalwareBytes well worth it. It all depends on how much your data is worth to you. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "Just do it!!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A church had a man in the choir who could not sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I am going to resign and the choir members are going to quit too. Please do something." So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir." "Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked. "Well, five or six people have told me that you can't sing." "That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Canned Cream Soups Cream soups, like cream of mushrooms, make easy sauces for vegetables, sauces and casserole filling. Stock up on cream soups when they are sale, they are a great time saving staple to have in your pantry. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this one: My husband, sons, and I had stopped to take in a spectacular sunset and were on our way back to our car when four Buddhist monks walked by. When our sons asked about them, I explained, "Their life is a quest for enlightenment." "I wonder what kind of car they drive," my husband said and jokingly suggested, "A Ford Focus?" "Or a Honda Odyssey," I said. The monks got into a Pathfinder. ___________________________________________________ GROAN ALERT! (Some of you may have to read this one out loud, to get it.) Mrs. O'Malley arrived in Boston from Ireland, and in no time at all her bean soup made her the talk of New England society. At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron approached Mrs. O'Malley and said, "My dear girl, what is the secret of your soup?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "The secret o' me soup is that I use but two-hundred thirty-nine beans to make it." The woman said, "Why only two-hundred thirty-nine?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "Because one more would make it too farty." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ___________________________________________________

Today December 12 in
1792 In Vienna, 22-year-old Ludwig van Beethoven received one of
his first lessons in music composition from Franz Joseph Haydn. 

1800 Washington, DC, was established as the capital of the United
States. 

1896 Guglielmo Marconi gave the first public demonstration of
radio at Toynbee Hall, London. 

1897 The comic strip"The Katzenjammer Kids" (Hans and Fritz), by
Rudolph Dirks, appeared in the New York Journal for the first
time. 

1899 George Grant patented the wooden golf tee. 

1900 Charles M. Schwab formed the United States Steel
Corporation. 

1901 The first radio signal to cross the Atlantic was picked up
near St. John's Newfoundland, by inventor Guglielmo Marconi. 

1915 The first all-metal aircraft, the German Junkers J1, made
its first flight. 

1917 Father Edward Flanagan opened Boys Town in Nebraska. The
farm village was for wayward boys. In 1979 it was opened to
girls. 

1925 The "Motel Inn," the first motel in the world, opened in San
Luis Obispo, CA. 

1937 Japanese aircraft sank the U.S. gunboat "Panay" on China's
Yangtze River. Japan apologized for the attack, and paid $2.2
million in reparations. 

1947 The United Mine Workers union withdrew from the American
Federation of Labor. 

1951 The U.S. Navy Department announced that the world's first
nuclear powered submarine would become the sixth ship to bear the
name Nautilus. 

1955 It was announced that the Ford Foundation gave $500,000,000
to private hospitals, colleges and medical schools. 

1955 British engineer Christopher Cockerell patented the first
hovercraft. 

1963 Kenya gained its independence from Britain. 

1975 Sara Jane Moore pled guilty to a charge of trying to kill
U.S. President Ford in San Francisco the previous September. 

1982 20,000 women encircled Greenham Common air base in Britain
in protest against proposed cite of U.S. Cruise missiles there. 

1983 Car bombs were set off in front of the French and U.S.
embassies in Kuwait City. Shiite extremists were responsible for
the five deaths and 86 wounded. Total of five bombs went off in
different locations. 

1984 In a telephone conversation with U.S. President Reagan,
William J. Schroeder complained of a delay in his Social Security
benefits. Schroeder received a check the following day. 

1985 248 American soldiers and eight crewmembers were killed when
an Arrow Air charter crashed in Gander, Newfoundland after
takeoff. 

1989 Britain forcibly removed 51 Vietnamese from Hong Kong and
returned them to their homeland. 

1989 Leona Helmsley was fined $7 million and sentenced to four
years in prison for tax evasion. 

1991 At the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center (SLAC) in
California, the first web server outside of Europe was installed.

1994 The Brazilian Supreme Court acquitted former President
Fernando Collor de Mello of corruption charges that had forced
him to resign in 1992. 

1995 The U.S. Senate stopped a constitutional amendment giving
Congress authority to outlaw flag burning and other forms of
desecration against the American flag. 

1995 Two French airmen shot down over Bosnia arrived home after
almost four months of being held captive by the Bosnian Serbs. 

1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, the international terrorist known as
"Carlos the Jackal," went on trial in Paris on charges of killing
two French investigators and a Lebanese national. He was
convicted and sentenced to life in prison. 

1997 The U.S. Justice Department ordered Microsoft to sell its
Internet browser separately from its Windows operating system to
prevent it from building a monopoly of Web access programs. 

1998 The House Judiciary Committee rejected censure, and approved
the final article of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton.
The case was submitted to the full House for a verdict. 

2000 The U.S. Supreme Court found that the recount ordered by the
Florida Supreme Court in the 2000 U.S. Presidential election was
unconstitutional. U.S. Vice President Al Gore conceded the
election to Texas Gov. George W. Bush the next day. 

2000 Timothy McVeigh, over the objections of his lawyers,
abandoned his final round of appeals and asked that his execution
be set within 120 days. McVeigh was convicted of the April 1995
truck bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Fedal Building in Oklahoma
City, OK, that killed 168 and injured 500. 

2000 The Texas Rangers signed Alex Rodriguez to a record breaking
10-year, $252 million contract. The contract amount broke all
major league baseball records and all professional sports
records. 

2001 Gerardo Hernandez was sentenced to life in prison for being
the leader of a Cuban spy ring. His conviction was based on his
role in the infiltration of U.S. military bases and in the deaths
of four Cuban-Americans whose planes were shot down five years
before. 

2001 In Beverly Hills, CA, actress Winona Ryder was arrested at
Saks Fifth Avenue for shoplifting and possessing pharmaceutical
drugs without a prescription. The numerous items of clothing and
hair accessories were valued at $4,760. 

2018  smiled.


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Too much spam 




Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, December 11

Thursday night will be the best night for watching falling stars.
The Geminid Meteor shower peaks Thursday night around midnight
with about 120 falling stars per hour. Dress warmly and set up a
lawn chair facing South or South-West. 
The Geminids come in high up, no obstructions along the horizon
interfering. As long as it does not snow in your area, you should
see lots of them!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Wyoming man, woman make 900-mile drive with 
children in trunk, dogs in back seat

______________________________________________________
Today, December 11 in
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris 
with nine exhibitors. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. --- Howard Aiken (1900 - 1973) ______________________________________________________ What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'put' or 'putt'?" she asked the instructor. "'Putt' is correct," he replied. "'Put' means to place a thing where you want it. 'Putt' means a vain attempt to do the same thing. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you." The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An American tourist was visiting in the Netherlands. During his stay in Amsterdam his watch stopped running. He asked one of the locals where he could get his watch fixed. The tourist was guided to the Jewish section of town. He was then directed toward a shop that had clocks displayed in the window. The American tourist entered the shop. Inside, behind a desk, sat an elderly Jewish man with a full beard. TOURIST: Hello. JEWISH MAN: Hello. TOURIST: I came here to have my watch fixed. JEWISH MAN: Sorry, I don't fix watches. I am a Mohel. TOURIST: What's a Mohel? JEWISH MAN: A Mohel is a Jewish Man who performs ritual circumcisions. TOURIST: Ritual circumcisions! But why do you have all those clocks in the window?! JEWISH MAN: So what you want me to have in my window? ______________________________________________________ Sent by Trish Storm picture by Ricky Pool in Bendigo Victoria Australia _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael J. Fee, 63, Amber L. Freudenstein, 31, Casper, Wyoming Wyoming man, woman make 900-mile drive with children in trunk, dogs in back seat A man and woman admitted in court they drove from Arizona to Wyoming with two children in the trunk of their car. Sixty-three-year-old Michael J. Fee and 31-year-old Amber L. Freudenstein each pleaded guilty Thursday to two misdemeanor counts of child endangerment. The Casper Star-Tribune reports Circuit Judge Steven Brown sentenced each to 30 days in jail. Fee is from Peoria, Arizona, and Freudenstein is from Tempe, Arizona. Sheriff's office officials say a third party told them the children reported riding in the trunk for much of the 900-mile drive while two German shepherds sat in the back seat. Fee said in court there was not enough room for everyone so the children were relegated to the trunk. Court documents show the children are about 6 and 10 years old. “I tried to make things as safe as I could for them,” he said. “It wasn’t anything malicious.”
From: Jaye Re: Problem with junkmail Dear Webby, Getting flooded with a ton of junk mail and need to know if there is a good spam catcher. Thanks for all your hellp.... You advice keeps my Computer running smoothly. Jaye. Dear Jaye Go to http://webby.com/mailwasher and get MailWasher. You can get a free 30 day trial and get started immediately. I have been using MailWasher for years and it takes care of over 4000 pieces of spam in my mail every day. When you do eventually buy it, it is just under $30, and well worth it. Plus they buy me a regular coffee for dragging you in out of the rain. I have tried many spam control products over the years, and MailWasher beats them all. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A bad joke bonehead award goes to a Texas rancher who depreciated 15 to 20 animals, something only allowed if the animals are used in breeding who, when asked by the IRS agent at an audit, "I presume you breed these animals?" replied that he didn't, giving his accountant a heart attack. But then, after a pregnant pause, continued, "I've got a bull for that."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Everybody's heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They fueled up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...only this time there were two people inside. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!" ------------------------ If you ARE interested in Area 51, head up Interstate 15 from Las Vegas towards Utah, hang a left at Highway 93, turn left at Extraterrestrial Highway, yes it's really called that!, about 40 Miles to 51 Road on the left. If you don't get stopped, about half an hour down that road is Area 51. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Day of the Week Hangers To make things easier, I made up a set of hangers with the days of the week on them. On Sundays, I go through my son's closet and put outfits together, then hang one on each "day of the week" hanger. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Amazing Images: The Best Science Photos of the Week.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to John for this story: I made the decision to finally do something about the 600 pounds I'm carrying on my 5'4" frame. So, I headed down to the local sports shoe store and was just amazed at the tremendous selection of different shoes. Flat arch, high arch, over-pronator, neutral-pronator, under-pronator . . . my God! I finally selected a pair and, as I was trying 'em on, I asked the saleslady, "What's this little pocket thing on the side for?" She said, "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call a cab when you've jogged too far." ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Marion for this: Women's Lament: The nice men are ugly. The handsome men are not nice. The handsome and nice men are gay. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. The handsome men without money are after our money. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! And yet, WOMEN are the CONFUSED sex??? ----------------------- What's so confusing with clear guidelines like that? Make the first move and get on with life! ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Wendy tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to Paul her good friend. Paul told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Wendy, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said Paul. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, Wendy made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, Paul asked Wendy, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied Wendy, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it." ___________________________________________________

Today December 11 in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis took
place in New England. 

1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 

1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, which
had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges of treason.
He was convicted and condemned and was sent to the guillotine the
following January. 

1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a tooth
extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental procedure.
Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthetic. 

1872 Pinckney Benton Stewart Pinchback became America's first
black governor when he took office as acting governor of
Louisiana. 

1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. It was the
first American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity. 

1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine
exhibitors. 

1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life of
President-elect Herbert Hoover. 

1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 

1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry
American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of Windsor. 

1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the League
of Nations. 

1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. The U.S
in turn declared war on the two countries. 

1946 The United Nations International Children's Emergency Fund
(UNICEF) was established by the U.N. General Assembly. The fund
provides relief to children in countries devastated by war. 

1961 The first direct American military support for South Vietnam
occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army helicopters
arrived in Saigon. 

1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first time
in Toulouse, France. 

1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime Minister
Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich pact when
they signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure of
Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 

1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation
creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would be
used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic waste
dumps. 

1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight
to Trevor Berbick. 

1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation for
$6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio and
Television. 

1986 The government of South Africa expanded its media
restrictions by imposing prior censorship and banning coverage of
a wide range of peaceful anti-apartheid protests. 

1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at
Christie's for £82,500. 

1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons
of illegal fireworks exploded. 

1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 years of
marriage. 

1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for
blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in New
York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the First
Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech in the U.S.). 

1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets
entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to restore
control in the breakaway republic. 

1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when leaders
of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade declaration
known as "The Miami Process." 

1996 In Crystal City, VA, "The Art of the Toy" opened. The
exhibit was at the Patent and Trademark Office Museum. 

1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political ally
of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He conferred
with Prime Minister Tony Blair in London. 

1997 More than 270 Tutsi refugees from the Democratic Republic of
Congo were killed by Juto guerillas in Mudende, Rwanda. 

1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming
conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's "greenhouse
gases." 

1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the entire
genetic blueprint of a tiny worm. 

1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month journey
to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in September of
1999, apparently destroyed because scientists had failed to
convert English measures to metric values. 

1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed
through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President
Clinton. 

2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced that
he would end his three-plus year retirement and become an active
National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When Lemieux returned
officially he became the first owner/player in NHL history. 

2001 U.S. Attorney General Ashcroft announced the first federal
indictment directly related to the terrorist attacks on the
United States on September 11, 2001. Zacarias Moussaoui was
charged with six conspiracy charges. Moussaoui was in custody at
the time of the attacks. 

2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison
ranches. 

2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would
withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty
with Russia. 

2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part of
"Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence
against an international software piracy ring. 

2009 The game Angry Birds was released. 

2013 Standard & Poors announced that Facebook would join its S&P
500 index "after the close of trading on December 20." 

2018  smiled.


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Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, December 10

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Fla. Man Stole Sneakers After Job 
Interview at Kohl's

Blondie jumping onto frozen lake 
______________________________________________________
Today, December 10 in
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy
demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused
and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow. --- Plato ______________________________________________________ What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about? It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she was a kid. I want these stories to be preserved. You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions "bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi'," but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers, probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put them all together into one e-book. This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format, you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the CD with family pictures and other keepsakes, making it a true heirloom. I have produced a smaller version last year. This final edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the price down to the same $10. The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice Christmas gift! Click on the book cover to get your copy or click on Heirloom Christmas Book http://webby.com/cb You can download it and give the file as a gift! ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for this story: A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made contact, "Connie....Connie." "Is that you, Joe?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud- lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again." "Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!" "Not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona ." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cookie for this story: (As sent by her, from the hospital) Cookie, Upset over the recent death of her husband Bob, So she decided to just kill herself And join him in death. Thinking it would be best to get it Over with quickly, she took out Bob's old Army pistol and made the decision to Shoot herself in the heart since it was So badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location. "Since you're a woman ," the doctor said, "the easiest way to locate your heart is, it is just below your left breast. Why do you ask?" She hung up without answering Later that night, Cookie was admitted to the hospital With a gunshot wound to her left knee. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Heather Mapes, 43, Des Moines, Iowa Mom drove to school drop-off while drunk, nearly plowed into elementary students Police said a Des Moines mother drove to the school drop-off while drunk and nearly plowed into a group of elementary students. Heather Mapes, 43, is in jail Monday after police charged her with child endangerment. Police said Mapes was drunk, with slurred speech and watery eyes, as she swerved into the bus lane at Garton Elementary School and narrowly missed hitting a group of students. "(It is) probably one of the worst-case scenarios, when you think about it," said Des Moines police Sgt. Paul Parizek. Parizek said Mapes was dropping off her 5-year-old daughter when she hit the curb, and that the curb prevented her from hitting students getting off the bus. "It's really scary, because we've got not just her children involved, which is bad enough, but now you're putting the children of a lot of other families at risk when you show up at the school in that condition," he said. Jessica Bensley, whose 7-year-old daughter attends the school, said she is thankful her child is safe. "That's really scary that my daughter goes here and that could have been her," Bensley said. A bus driver, the principal and the dean of students at Garton Elementary intervened and wouldn't let Mapes leave the scene. According to a police report, Mapes told officers, "I didn't hit the kids." "There was a little bit of a dispute that began between Mapes and one of the staff members at the school where there might have been some pushing and shoving," Parizek said. "They called 911 (and) did the absolute right thing to keep the kids safe." School officials also reported that Mapes had her 5-year-old daughter in the front seat without a seat belt or a booster seat. Police reports said Mapes told school officials that she had taken prescription medications, but the school officials reported smelling alcohol. "She might need some help, you know, and I hope that she can be honest and say that, because there (are) other people's lives that are at factor and that she needs to be concerned about that," Bensley said. A spokesperson for Des Moines Public Schools said the district commends the principal, dean of students and bus driver for their quick response in making sure the incident did not turn out worse.
From: Bill Re: Internet Shortcuts not linking to browser Dear Webby, HI I HAVE PASTED INTERNET SHORT CUTS ONTO MY DESKTOP, BUT WHEN I CLICK ON THEM THEY GIVE A MESSAGE THAT I WILL HAVE TO CREATE A ASSOCIATION FOR THEM IN THE FOLDER OPTIONS. I HAVE TRIED THIS BUT I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG, CAN YOU HELP ? THANKS BILL Dear Bill Open a File Explorer, Click on Tools, Folder Options File Types In there scroll down to Internet Shortcut and make sure your chosen browser is associated with it. You might also want to try to just drag the little icon on the left of the browser address bar onto the desktop, instead of pasting anything. Dragging that icon to the desktop makes an instant Internet shortcut, that can even be used to open your chosen browser. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Having been married ten years and still living in an apartment, Keli would often complain about anything, as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a "dream home". Trying to placate her, Greg found a new apartment, within their budget. However, after the first week, she began complaining again. "Greg," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me every time I take a bath." "Don't worry." replied Greg. "If the neighbors do see you, they'll buy curtains."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Wife: Oh, come on. Husband: Leave me alone! Wife: It won't take long. Husband: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Wife: I can't sleep without it. Husband: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Wife: Because I'm hot. Husband: You get hot at the darnedest times. Wife: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you. Husband: If you love me you'd be more considerate. Wife: You don't love me anymore. Husband: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight. Wife: (Sob-Sob) Husband: Alright, I'll do it. Wife: What's the matter? Need a flashlight? Husband: I can't find it. Wife: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it! Husband: There! Are you satisfied? Wife: Oh, yes, honey. Husband: Is it up far enough? Wife: Oh, that's fine. Husband: Now go to sleep and from now on, when you want the window open, open it before you go to bed. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Losing Weight A common New Year's Resolution is losing weight. Companies will sell you products that claim to help you lose weight, when accompanied with changes in diet and exercise. Rather than buying these products, start by developing a good exercise routine and a healthy diet first. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Hundreds of caves filled with thousands of centuries-old statues and murals In China.
___________________________________________________ "Hello?" Linda responded, answering the phone. "I bet you want me to come over to your house, take you into the bedroom, undress you, lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love to you all night long," the male voice whispered sensuously. "Gee," she replied. "You think you could tell all that just from me saying 'hello' ? Well, you are wrong. But if you are good at cleaning toilets, come on down to the High School." ___________________________________________________ After meeting with the boss, the head salesperson mustered the troops. "People," she said, "I've just been informed that we're going to be having a fire sale." "A fire sale?" spoke up one agent. "But we sell insurance." "I said a fire sale, and I meant it," she replied coldly. "Anyone who doesn't make a sale gets fired." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A computer program crashed in the lawyer's office, so he called a programmer. The programmer arrived, unpacked his case, did mysterious programmer-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $600. The lawyer exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a lawyer!." The programmer quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a lawyer." ___________________________________________________

Today December 10 in
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy
demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused
and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 

1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first
pneumatic tires. 

1851 American librarian Melvil Dewey was born. He created the
"Dewey Decimal Classification" system. 

1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the
Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 

1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first American
to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for helping mediate an end
to the Russo-Japanese War. 

1941 Japan invaded the Philippines. 

1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse were
sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 

1950 Dr. Ralph J. Bunche was presented the Nobel Peace Prize. He
was the first African-American to receive the award. Bunche was
awarded the prize for his efforts in mediation between Israel and
neighboring Arab states. 

1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine with an
investment of $7,600. 

1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in the
U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami on a
National Airlines Boeing 707. 

1964 In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received the
Nobel Peace Prize. He was the youngest person to receive the
award. 

1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries in
Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 

1984 South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the Nobel Peace
Prize. 

1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, a
long-acting contraceptive implant. 

1992 Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he called
"unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. However, he
refused to resign. 

1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the repaired
Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 

1994 Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, NJ,
was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the Unabomber. 

1994 Yasser Arafat, Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin received the
Nobel Peace Prize. They pledged to pursue their mission of
healing the Middle East. 

1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of
Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the
former Yugoslavia. 

1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new
democratic constitution, completing the country's transition from
white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy. 

1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international
space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 

1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional clauses
that rejected Israel's existence. 

1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for China,
computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was charged with
removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. Lee later pled
guilty to one count of downloading restricted data to tape and
was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 

2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, opponents
of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi reconstruction projects.
The ban did not prevent companies from winning subcontracts. 

2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first elected
female president. 

2018  smiled.


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Open Office and PPS 




Good Morning, !

Thank you very much, Frank!!!

Today is Sunday, December 9

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Fla. Man Stole Sneakers After Job 
Interview at Kohl's

Blondie jumping onto frozen lake 
______________________________________________________
Today, December 9 in
1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent 
for the ball-bearing roller skate. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix. --- Christina Baldwin If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me --- Jimmy Buffett Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. --- Albert Einstein ______________________________________________________ Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he hanged the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: My creative mother enjoys doing crafts, such as making potpourri boxes decorated with ribbon and lace. Sometimes she gets so involved that she disappears into her upstairs workroom for hours, forgetting about more mundane things, like making dinner. One evening, I arrived home to find the kitchen empty again. But this time, I found a note that said, "Warning! Small craft advisory. Buy yourself a pizza!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Meredith for this famous classic: ( For English as a second language students: The old word for donkey, as used in the bible, is ass. When used in that sense, the word is no more obscene or objectionable than the word donkey. ) The Pastor's Ass The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the head lines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The bishop was buried two days after that. ______________________________________________________ Dumbass parking _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominick Christopher Breedlove, 24, Spring Hill, Floriduh Fla. Man Stole Sneakers After Job Interview at Kohl's A Florida man was arrested after he allegedly stole two pairs of sneakers from a department store – minutes after interviewing for a job there. Deputies in Hernando County arrested Dominick Breedlove and charged him with retail theft after the incident Wednesday afternoon at a Kohl’s store in Spring Hill, located north of Tampa. According to NBC affiliate WFLA-TV, 24-year-old Breedlove went into the store shortly after the interview and started looking at a Nike display for women's shoes that did not have security tags. Breedlove left the store and later returned with a bag from a previous trip. A loss prevention officer called the Hernando County Sheriff's Office after seeing Breedlove put the sneakers, worth a combined $150, inside the bag and leaving the store. Officers arrested Breedlove on the way to his car, where he told deputies that he had planned to gift the shoes to his mother. Breedlove was booked into jail with a $500 bond. Needless to say, he did not get the job, the sheriff's office said.
From: Cookie Re: Open Office and PPS Dear Webby, My personal computer Guru, Do I understand this correctly??? With Open Office you can snag individual pictures from pps shows? I sure hope so...there are so many fantastic pictures in pps files. Cookie Dear Cookie Yes, you can! It opens the PPS with thumbnails of the individual pictures down along the left margin, and the highlighted thumbnail as the big picture in the center. You can edit the pictures, put text on them, change the duration of the show time, etc. And you can of course save the individual pictures that are "keepers". Or you can hit F5 for a traditional sit-back show. I can just hear you now: "Oh WOW! This is the way it should have been all along!" All of Open Office is that way. Like Microsoft Office SHOULD have been all along. Microsoft Office is trying to catch up, but in the meantime it got priced way too high for you and me. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: My wife and I were making our own funeral arrangements and the director showed us into a room in which containers for ashes were on display. After we looked at the choices, I asked my wife if she had decided. She sighed, "Yes, the wood-finish one, as it will likely go into the ground." After a moment's pause, however, she continued, "But I really prefer the blue one. You know I always look good in blue!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly. At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side. When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?" Well, Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty," so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, "Is that mule for sale?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com December's Best Food Buys Buy food that is in season and you can save money at the grocery store. Here are December's Best Buys: Apples, Beef, Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, Chicken, Eggs, Grapefruit, Oranges, Pork, Rhubarb, and Turnips. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Let's go to the Arctic.
___________________________________________________ Abe came home one day and found his wife Esther in tears. "Darling, what's the matter?" "Oh, Abe," cried Esther, "Doctor Cohen says I have tuberculosis." "What! A big healthy woman like you has tuberculosis? Ridiculous," said Abe. "I'll call Doctor Cohen and get this sorted out right now." So Abe called his doctor. "Doctor, Esther says ! you told her she has tuberculosis." The doctor said something to Abe, and with that, Abe began laughing. "So what's so funny about my having such a dreadful disease?" asked Esther. "Esther, Doctor Cohen didn't say you that you have 'tuberculosis,' he said you have 'too big a tuchas'!" ___________________________________________________ Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes. Later that semester, she asked him how the mixer was working for him. "Not very good," Terry said, "the potatoes keep flying all over the kitchen." After a perplexed pause, his mother asked, "Terry, did you cook the potatoes first?" To which a surprised Terry responded, "You have to cook the potatoes first?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Polands Worst Air Disaster The worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. The search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. The pilot and passenger are helping with the digging. ___________________________________________________

Today December 9 in
1783 The first executions at Newgate Prison took place. 

1793 "The American Minerva" was published for the first time. It
was the first daily newspaper in New York City and was founded by
Noah Webster. 

1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light
Brigade," was published in England. 

1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company. 

1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball-bearing
roller skate. 

1892 In London, "Widowers' Houses," George Bernard Shaw's first
play, opened at the Royalty Theater. 

1907 Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the
Wilmington, DE, post office. 

1926 The United States Golf Association legalized the use of
steel-shafted golf clubs. 

1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops led
by Viscount Allenby. 

1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first major
offensive in North Africa. 

1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM radio
advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR in New York
City. 

1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy. 

1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained his
world middleweight boxing title. 

1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other men
met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society. 

1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known as
"Univac 1107." 

1962 "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world premiere in
London. 

1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion seasonal
loan authorization to prevent New York City from having to
default. 

1978 The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League (WBL)
was played between the Chicago Hustle and the Milwaukee Does. 

1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members received
sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty war" in which
nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared." 

1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising)
against Israeli occupation. 

1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the Jabliya
refugee camp. 

1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential election
in the country's history. 

1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's first
free elections in 50 years. 

1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iran began
arriving in the U.S. 

1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a single
currency in 1999. 

1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their
separation. 

1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of lying
to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. U.S. President
George H.W. Bush later pardoned George. 

1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee
delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore Hope'. 

1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II
missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms
control treaty. 

1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed
repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope. 

1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists produced a
controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3 million watts. 

1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the British
government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland. 

1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal allowing
Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the UN trade embargo
imposed on Iraq in 1990. 

1999 The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian diplomat
who had been caught gathering information with an eavesdropping
device at the U.S. State Department. 

2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after losing
$4 billion in the previous two years. It was the sixth largest
bankruptcy filing. 

2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 300-
year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch etchings, a self-
portait and a depiction of the artist's mother, were valued
around $518,000. 

2013 AMR Corporation and US Airways Group completed a merger and
was listed on the NASDAQ as American Airlines Group, Inc. 

2018  smiled.


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Locked icons 




Good Morning, !

Thank you very much, Frank!!!
Today is Saturday, December 8

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Utah Mom Lured Ex Out of Apartment Before 
Murdering his current wife

Blondie jumping onto frozen lake 
______________________________________________________
Today, December 8 in
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate 
Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, 
was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. --- Marie Curie (1867 - 1934) It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." --- Dylan Thomas ______________________________________________________ A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know... why don't you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?" Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ DEMOCRACY You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICANISM You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good. RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons. IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing. POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy. FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow. CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Many are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders. ______________________________________________________ Waiting for hubby _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chelsea Watrous Cook, 32, Salt Lake City, Utah Utah Mom Lured Ex Out of Apartment Before Murdering his current wife Utah has never executed a woman or had a woman on death row, but that could change after Sunday night's murder in suburban Salt Lake City. Chelsea Watrous Cook, 32, has been charged with aggravated murder in the shooting of Lisa Vilate Williams, 26, and could face the death penalty, Deseret News reports. Police say the teacher lured ex-husband Travis Cook out of his apartment by saying she had cold medicine for one of their 3-year-twins, reports the AP. Security camera footage captured her hiding in the hallway as he walked out to the parking lot. Police say she then sneaked into the apartment, where she ended up shooting Williams, her ex-husband's new girlfriend, who had been making Christmas tree ornaments with the twins. Authorities say Travis Cook managed to get the gun away from his ex-wife and pin her to a wall until police arrived. Williams' mother and sister tell the AP that they feared for her safety after Cook harassed her and bullied her online for months. Public records state that Cook was charged with misdemeanor domestic violence last month after arguing with her ex-husband when he tried to pick up the twins. Court records state that she yelled "disparaging comments" about Williams, who was not present, and grabbed her ex-husband by the hair, causing him to tumble down stairs. Cook, who worked as a health and yoga teacher at a Lehi high school, is being held without bail.
From: Kitty Re: Locked icons Dear Webby, here i am again. how do i unlock the icons. to where we can move them around the screen. not all bunched toughther. ? Kitty Dear Kitty Right-click on the desktop and choose Arrange Icons. Unclick Auto Arrange. Unclick Align to grid. They should now stay where you put them. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: The doctor said to a patient's husband, "I'm sorry. We did all that was humanly possible, but we just can't wake her from her coma. It doesn't look good, I'm afraid." "But doctor, she's so young! She's only thirty-nine." Upon which the comatose wife weakly said, "Thirty-seven!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Old buddies Father Mulhaney and Rabbi Silverman were having their monthly breakfast. Father Mulhaney was enjoying his usual bacon and eggs, while Rabbi Silverman was savoring his lox and bagels . Father Mulhaney asked, "Would you like to try a piece of bacon? Lots of people eat bacon, and it is very tasty. Why don't you try a piece?" Rabbi Silverman replied, "You are quite right, my friend. I think I will try some bacon." "When?" asked the priest. "At your wedding, of course," responded the rabbi. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Storing Dry Dog Food If you have a large dog, store dog food in a plastic garbage can or large tub. For smaller dogs, you can you use a small plastic tub or one of those decorative tins that popcorn comes in. Just empty the bag of dry food into the container and keep a scoop in it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
C Stop Everything and Discover the World of 3D Cat Portraiture
___________________________________________________ Today at work, the boss wanted to know when Father's Day was. "Easy," I answered. "It's nine months before Mother's Day." ___________________________________________________ While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Tom My mother has a "lead foot," so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car. "I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer. "What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?" ___________________________________________________

Today December 8 in
1765 Eli Whitney was born in Westboro, MA. Whitney invented the
cotton gin and developed the concept of mass-production of
interchangeable parts. Before him only plows were mass produced
with interchangeable parts.

1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American
Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to
Pennsylvania. 

1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate
Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was free
of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 

1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for the
Reconstruction of the South. 

1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and became
the first world heavyweight champion. 

1886 At a convention of union leaders in Columbus, OH, the
American Federation of Labor was founded. 

1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared war
against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese attacked
Pearl Harbor. Canada declared war on Japan on the day of the
Pearl Harbor attack. 

1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese
mainland to Formosa (Taiwan) due to Communists pressure. 

1952 On the show "I Love Lucy," a pregnancy was acknowledged in a
TV show for the first time. 

1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the United
States. 

1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union began
striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. The strike
lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963. 

1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found guilty
in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under a law that
protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism. 

1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held the
Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up with
explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later he was
shot to death by police. 

1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine
publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry Falwell
with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was awarded $200,000
for emotional distress. 

1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev
signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations' arsenals of
intermediate-range nuclear missiles. 

1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in the
Israeli-occupied territories began. 

1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender
their control over the government and accept a minority role in a
coalition Cabinet. 

1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet national
government to be dead. They forged a new alliance to be known as
the Commonwealth of Independent States. The act was denounced by
Russian President Gorbachev as unconstitutional. 

1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. troops
landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation Restore Hope.
(Due to the time difference, it was December 9 in Somalia.) 

1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American
Free Trade Agreement. 

1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, but
continued to detain about 300 others. 

1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the O.J.
Simpson murder trial. 

1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement
that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation would
merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion. 

1997 Jenny Shipley was sworn in as the first female prime
minister of New Zealand. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a
person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic
violation. 

1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. The
file contained over 1,300 pages. 

1998 Nkem Chukwu and Iyke Louis Udobi's first of eight babies was
born. The other seven were delivered 12 days later.

1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data
networking business for $5 billion cash. 

1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was
played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 

1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther King
Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, not a lone
assassin. 

1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an economic
and political confederation. 

2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that he
planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player
at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player in U.S. pro
sports. 

2018  smiled.


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No right click 




Good Morning, !

Thank you very much, Frank!!!

Today is Friday, December 7
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Naked N.H. attacked police officer.
He got tased and jailed.

https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E
______________________________________________________
Today, December 7 in
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA. 
That caused the U.S. to enter into World War II. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ >From Ed I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge. The girl replied, "The hot fudge only comes in one temperature, Sir." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun. "I'm afraid I cannot, Sister." "Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun questioned sternly. "Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun." "Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God." "Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two voices, male and female, on an overnight "red eye" plane flight. "I think everyone's asleep, lets go" Sound of steps. "This one's empty. No ones is looking. You go in first" "It a bit cramped, let me sit down" "Have you got the condom? Quick, put it on" Sniff sniff "Ah perfume you think of everything" "This is great..." (long sigh) Static on the loud speaker then a new voice. "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the fake smoke detector!" ------------- Frequent fliers know that airplane toilets have "fart extractors", the smelly air is suckd down the toilet and allowed to escape to the thin air outside. By bending low over the toilet, as if praying to Ralph, the god of drunks, you can have that smelly cigarette, that is between going berserk and relaxed calmness. ______________________________________________________ So much for Algorian Warming! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Chase, 52, Merrimack, New Hampshire Naked N.H. attacked police officer. He got tased and jailed. A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say he tried to punch an officer. Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure, attempted assault and resisting arrest. A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say he tried to punch an officer. Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure, attempted assault and resisting arrest.
From: Helene Re: No Right Click Dear Webby, Although I disagree with most of your political & social beliefs, your letter is really addictive and, hate to admit this, but enjoy -- a lot. So, thanks. Before I go through an elaborate process, any hints about what causes the right button of a mouse to suddenly stop functioning? It worked fine yesterday. Appreciate any advice. Helene Dear Helene First go into Settings, Control Panel, Mouse, Buttons and make sure that right clicking has not been turned off by some left-wing liberal program. If that is OK, shake and bash the mouse on the table. Don't be too gentle, except with the mouse cord. Make sure that there won't be any strain on the mouse cord during that. If that does not help either, replace the mouse. They are not made to last forever. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus." "We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin." "You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins when the children have graduated from college and moved out of the house."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break. "We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Acron, Ohio." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Storing Video Tapes Be careful that your video and camcorder tapes are stored away from electronics that have a magnetic field, like stereo speakers and TV's. Store your tapes somewhere dry and room temperature (60-70 F). Consider having a backup created on DVD of irreplaceable home movies. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Cool ceiling! I love the way it ripples.
___________________________________________________ Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking." ___________________________________________________ A young man volunteered to babysit one night so his mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back. At 9:00 p.m., the doorbell rang. It was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No." Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Father - Daughter Talk A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs; in other words, redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. One day, she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich, and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professor had to be the truth, and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends either because she spent all her time studying. Her father listened, then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over." Her father asked her, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend Audrey, who only has a 2.0? That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA, and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea! How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work. And she's done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!" The father slowly smiled and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican Party." ___________________________________________________

Today December 7 in
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France. 

1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S.
constitution becoming the first of the United States. 

1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri became the
first referee to officiate from inside a boxing ring. 

1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 150-
yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. He
went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 

1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux
Servel Corporation. 
I had one of those in the Yukon.

1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA. 
Tht caused the U.S. to enter into World War II. 

1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people.
It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, W.
Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire. 

1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's
assets. 

1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last
U.S. moon mission. 

1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E.
Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. The
man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards. 

1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months in
exile. 

1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of
Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray by
the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash. 

1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the
first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a
prison in Huntsville, TX. 

1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with an
Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for takeoff.
The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people aboard the
DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 

1987 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil
for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington
summit with U.S. President Reagan. 

1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a fellow
passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest Airlines
jetliner. 

1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major
earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake
measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 

1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the
reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by half a
million. 

1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the
plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 

1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law
which, required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours
before terminating their pregnancies. 

1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman
opened fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train. 

1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S.
government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in
secret at its Nevada test site. 

1993 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested that the U.S.
government study the impact of drug legalization. 

1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into
Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership
before it was presumably destroyed. 

1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-ever
shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 

1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by
fighting between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 

1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 1996
campaign financing. 

1999 A U.S. federal grand jury indicted a former convict in the
1995 disappearance of atheist leader Madalyn Murray O'Hair. 

2002 In Amsterdam, Netherlands, two Van Gogh paintings were
stolen from the Van Gogh Museum. The two works were "View of the
Sea st Scheveningen" and "Congregation Leaving the Reformed
Church in Nuenen." On July 26, 2004, two men were convicted for
the crime and were sentenced to at least four years in prison
each. 

2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movies theaters were bombed
within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed
and over 200 were injured. 

2003 A 12-inch by 26-inch painting of a river landscape and
sailing vessel by Martin Johnson Heade was sold at auction for $1
million. The painting was found in the attic of a suburban Boston
home where it had been stored for more than 60 years.

2018  smiled.


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Touchpad solution 




Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, December 6

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally 
attacking, crushing boyfriend

https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E
______________________________________________________
Today, December 6 in
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a 
state education system. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) ______________________________________________________ A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, 'Marian, Marian!' Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, 'You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know.' 'I know,' said the child, 'but the store is full of mothers.' ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. "Hello," said the little boy "Hi," replied the little girl. "Where are you going?" asked the little boy. "I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl. "I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy. "I go to the Baptist church back down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?" "I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill," replied the little boy. They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet. "If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl. "My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy. "I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across." "That's a good idea,"replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit." So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, when the little boy finally remarked "You know, I never realized before just how much difference there really is between a Baptist and a Methodist! ______________________________________________________ Lightbulb changing in Chicago _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Windi Thomas, 44. Erie Pennsylvania 300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally attacking, crushing boyfriend A woman has pleaded guilty to killing her boyfriend by stabbing him, hitting him with a table leg and crushing him under the weight of her roughly 300 pounds. Windi Thomas, of Erie, faces a sentence of 18 to 36 years after pleading guilty to third-degree murder. She had been scheduled for trial next week, but instead will be sentenced on Dec. 21. The 44-year-old Thomas admitted killing Keeno Butler last March, partially by lying on top of him. Thomas weighs about 300 pounds, while the 44-year-old Butler weighed about 120 pounds. The Erie Times-News reports Thomas told investigators she had been drinking throughout the day and left the apartment to purchase crack cocaine. After she returned home, she was sitting on the couch with a knife and, at one point, cut Butler's hand. Thomas told police that Butler went to the kitchen and returned with a table leg, which she took from him and used to hit him on the head. As the two wrestled on the ground, Thomas said she was able to pin Butler down. Thomas then called 911 and reported she had killed someone. Butler’s death was ruled a homicide “caused by respiratory insufficiency secondary to blunt force trauma to the neck and thoracic compression, exacerbated by blunt force trauma to the head,” according to the affidavit. Butler's sister said her family is still coping with her brother's death and had been hoping for a longer prison sentence for Thomas. “I feel like she should have 40 or more,” Sandra Butler said. “She deserved life.”
From: Joan Re: Touch Pad Dear Webby, You told me once in the 90's to put a cardboard into the touchpad depression. I did. And carefully moved it to new machines every time a machine had to be replaced. My cardboard is thin enough so that if I really whack it with my thumb, it works like the Enter key. Just light movement of the thumb does not affect it at all. I am perfectly happy with your solution. Thanks Joan Dear Joan Thanks for the feedback! It is rare that people tell me how a solution worked. I do appreciate it! Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirm- ation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every couple that walked by and desired such. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
While attending a convention, I breakfasted in a cafe, next to two gray-haired men from the same symposium. I overheard one remark, "You know, this is the first time in 40 years we've gone to one of these without our wives." His pal leaned back, contemplating what such freedom might portend. "I know," he said, laying his menu aside. "Let's have biscuits and gravy!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Eat Half Your Entree Restaurant serving sizes are often more than a person can or should eat. Try this: as soon as the server sets down a plate, divide your meal in half. Eat half at the restaurant and take the other half home to eat for lunch the following day. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Denny's Restaurants tend to get carried away a bit, in some towns. Here is a picture of my dad when I took him into Dennys for a well deserved Banana Split in Barstow one year. We had been driving and running through the desert all day, taking pictures of cacti, but that was too much. Dennys also used to get quite carried away with their Chef Salad. You can eat one normal portion and have enough left over to take home for side salads for four people the next day. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
To each his own......I guess.
___________________________________________________ Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was just an "ID ten T" error." A puzzled expression ran over Judy's face. "An "ID ten T" error? What's that?.. in case I need to fix it again??" He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an "ID ten T" error before?" "No," replied Judy. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." She wrote..... I D 1 0 T ___________________________________________________ During our Marine boot-camp class on combat gear, the drill instructor told us to put on the equipment we had been issued; then he would inspect us. Soon after, a frantic recruit, helmet liner in hand, ran up to the DI. "Sir," he began, "the private's helmet liner does not fit the private's head, sir." The DI, obviously perturbed that the recruit hadn't listened to his instructions on how to adjust the liner, looked into the Marine's face. "Okay, private," he said. "This is what I want you to do. Go into the gear locker, find a new head to fit your helmet liner and use that one!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A missionary recruit goes to Venezuela for the first time, struggling with the language. He visits one of the local churches and sits in the front row. So as not to make a fool of himself, he decides to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He decides to follow the man sitting next to him in the front pew. As they sing, the man claps his hands, so the missionary recruit claps, too. When the man stands up to pray, the missionary recruit stands up, too. When the man sits down, the missionary sits down. Later in the service, the man next to him stands up again, so the missionary stands up, too. Suddenly a hush falls over the entire congregation. A few people gasp. The missionary looks around and sees that no one else is standing. So he sits down. After the service ends, the missionary recruit greets the preacher. "I take it you don't speak Spanish," the preacher says. The missionary replies, "No, I don't. Is it that obvious?" "Well yes," the preacher says. "I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born baby boy, and I asked the proud father to please stand up." ___________________________________________________

Today December 6 in
1735 In London, French surgeon Claudius Amyand peformed the first
successful appendectomy at St. George's Hospital. The patient was
an 11-year old boy that had swallowed a pin. 

1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state
education system. 

1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified.
The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S. 

1876 The city of Anaheim was incorporated for a second time. 

1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with a
recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. 

1883 "Ladies' Home Journal" was published for the first time. 

1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was completed by
Army engineers. The project took 34 years. 

1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first and
only president of the Confederate States of America. 

1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's worst
mine disaster. 

1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships
collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia. 

1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia. 

1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self-
governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish treaty was
signed. 

1923 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge became the first president to
give a presidential address that was broadcast on radio. 

1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on bachelors. 

1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by U.S.
President Truman. 

1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International Brotherhood
of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in 1987. 

1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit
failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at Cape
Canaveral, FL. 

1973 Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the vice-president of the
United States after vice-president Spiro Agnew resigned.

1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb exploded
in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish National
Liberation Army was responsible for planting the bomb. 

1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing six
Israelis and wounding 44. 

1985 Congressional negotiators reached an agreement on a deficit-
cutting proposal that later became the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings law.


1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred when a
man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's school
of engineering. The man then killed himself. 

1989 Egon Krenz resigned as leader of East Germany. 

1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 foreign
hostages. 

1992 Germany's primary political parties agreed to tighten
postwar asylum laws. 

1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a mosque.
The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting resulted in at
least 2,000 people being killed. 

1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20
years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children in the
1960s. 

1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due to
investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one of the
richest in the U.S. and became the largest municipality to file
for bankruptcy. 

1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a
residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 70
people were killed. 

1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was
elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt against
the government six years earlier. 

1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected the
first two building blocks of the international space station in
the shuttle cargo bay. 

2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation and 480
hours of community service stemming from her conviction for
shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was also ordered to pay
$10,000 in fines and restitution. 

2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7 million
memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large oval fountain
was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde Park.

2018  smiled.


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Wandering mouse cursor 




Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, December 5

Where I grew up in Austria, December 5 was the day Santa 
came by, and read the kids the riot act about their behavior
during the year. 

Because of my frequently not so exemplary behavior, I was often
threatened with getting sent to Jagdberg, an ancient castle
converted to a juvenile jail and reform school. Well, I never
quite got sent there.

When I was 18 a college professor volunteered me to go play Santa
at Jagdberg. Beside stage fright, there was the fear they would
lock me up there, but I dressed up in the supplied garments,
hopped on my motorcycle and roared up there.

At Jagdberg they gave me a glass of Cherry Water Schnapps to calm
my nerves, and for each classroom a stack of papers. I called the
name on the top sheet, and read that kid's sins, then gave him or
her a paper bag filled with goodies.

Probably thanks to the Schnapps by the time I got to the second
classroom, I got right into my act and really lit into the little
twerps. 

I think they had about 16 classrooms, but by the time I was done
with them all, I was sorry it was already finished.
They gave me a couple of very tasty salami sandwiches and a
coffee, and I left.

On the way back I stopped at the place where my gtirlfriend
stayed, a dormitory attached to the hospital nunnery. She tossed
the key down when she heard my bike, and I silently crept up the
stone steps to her floor and her room. 
Well some other girl was lurking and so I had to play Santa for
her too. I only had a small bag of goodies for my girlfriend, so
the lurker just got a hug and a kiss and a grope from Santa. She
was happy.

And shortly after that, my girlfriend was made happy by Santa
himself.

The sky was just beginning to lighten in the East when I finally
rode my bike home.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Mom charged after OWI arrest led to 
4-year-old being found alone in tow lot 

______________________________________________________
Today, December 5 in
1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in
Washington, DC. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Writing well means never having to say, 'I guess you had to be there.' --- Jef Mallett, Frazz, 07-29-07 Mustard's no good without roast beef. --- Chico Marx (1891 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ David was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with his wife. He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding anniversary. “David!! David!! Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. What do you suggest?” David put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two minutes of silence?” ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Mary for this: When you get angry it's because you're ill-tempered... It just happens that my nerves are bothering me. When you don't like someone it's because you're prejudiced... I just happen to be a good judge of human nature. When you compliment people it's because you use flattery to get your way... I only encourage people. When you take a long time to do a job it's because you're unbearable slow and pokey... I take a long time because I believe in quality workmanship. When you spend your paycheck in 24 hours, it's because you're a spendthrift... When I do, it's because I'm generous. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." ______________________________________________________ I see you! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Blair Springfield, 28, Milwaukee County, Wisconsin Mom charged after OWI arrest led to 4-year-old being found alone in tow lot pleads not guilty A 28-year-old Milwaukee mother whose OWI arrest led to her 4- year-old daughter being found alone in a van in the city tow lot hours later has been ordered to stand trial. On Tuesday, Nov. 27 Blair Springfield waived her right to a preliminary hearing, and pleaded not guilty. Springfield faces 10 charges:
  • OWI, first offense, with a passenger under the age of 16
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • Neglecting a child (specified harm did not occur)
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • OWI, first offense with a passenger under the age of 16
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability
  • Operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration with a passenger under the age of 16
Springfield pleaded not guilty to three of the charges on Saturday, Nov. 17, when she appeared in court for the first time — Count 1, Count 3, Count 7 and Count 10. Cash bond was set at $1,500. Springfield was taken into custody near 39th and Forest Home on Nov. 12, after prosecutors said she passed out behind the wheel of a minivan. She was not charged in that case. Her adult passenger and baby were removed from the vehicle, but the 4-year-old was left in the back seat. Prosecutors said the child was not mentioned by her mother and also missed by officers. The incident happened just weeks after prosecutors said Springfield passed out in a McDonald's drive-thru with children and bottles of vodka in the car. Milwaukee County Circuit Court Judge Cynthia Davis ordered the latest case go to trial during Springfield's court hearing on Tuesday. If convicted, Springfield could gain more time behind bars. She could also lose the children. The Milwaukee Police Department has not yet released squad or body camera footage from Nov. 12, the night Springfield was arrested. Springfield's next court appearance has been scheduled for Dec. 5.
From: Joyce Re: Wandering Arrow Dear Webby, I hope you can help me.I thought i seen it once on here & forgot to save it. What a ninnie i was there. OK when I am just reading or browesing pages, the arrow on my laptop just takes off. How can i stop it from doing that, but i need step by step instrustion, or i can't do it cause i am a ninnie & my daughter don't like helping. Love your letter every morning Thank You Joyce Dear Joyce The mouse arrow taking off is usually not due to a program setting, but to your thumb on the silly touch pad on the laptop. Since you have a mouse anyway, just cut a piece of cardboard to just fit the touch pad level with the keyboard area. Problem solved instantly. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bernie was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Bernie boy decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Bernie said, "May I speak with the Vice President of prunes, please?" The clerk replied, "Dried, canned or frozen?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Bank Those Savings for Next Christmas When I save money by using coupons or buying something on sale, I put the saved money into a savings account. By the end of the year I have enough money in the account to pay for Christmas presents without having to go into debt. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
A 12 million year old praying mantis encased in amber.
___________________________________________________ While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!" ___________________________________________________ A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions. On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead. When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!" To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party. Two were dead, ten were dyiing. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Manure," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours." ___________________________________________________

Today December 5 in
1560 Charles IX succeeded as King of France on the death of
Francis II. 

1766 James Christie, founder of the famous auctioneers, held his
first sale in London. 

1797 Napoleon Bonaparte arrived in Paris to command forces for
the invasion of England. 

1812 Napoleon Bonaparte left his army as they were retreating
from Russia. 

1848 U.S. President Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by
confirming the fact that gold had been discovered in California. 

1876 The Stillson wrench was patented by D.C. Stillson. The
device was the first practical pipe wrench. 

1904 The Russian fleet was destroyed by the Japanese at Port
Arthur, during the Russo-Japanese War. 

1908 At the University of Pittsburgh, numerals were first used on
football uniforms worn by college football players. 

1913 Britain outlawed the sending of arms to Ireland. 

1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa making
it possible for him to enter the U.S. even though he was a Jew. 

1933 Prohibition came to an end when Utah became the 36th state
to ratify the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 

1934 Fighting broke out between Italian and Ethiopian troops on
the Somalian border. 

1934 The Soviet Union executed 66 people charged with plotting
against Joseph Stalin's government. 

1935 In Montebello, CA, the first commercial hydroponics
operation was established. 

1936 The Soviet Union adopted a new Constitution under a Supreme
Council. 

1944 During World War II, Allied troops took Ravenna, Italy. 

1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S.
Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a training
mission at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. They were never
heard from again. 

1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in
Washington, DC. 

1955 The American Federation of Labor and the Congress of
Industrial Organizations merged to form the AFL-CIO. 

1956 British and French forces began a withdrawal from Egypt
during the Suez War. 

1958 Britain's first freeway, the Preston by-pass, was opened by
Prime Minister Macmillan. 

1961 United Nations forces launched an attack in Katanga, the
Congo, near Elizabethville. 

1962 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to cooperate in the
peaceful uses of outer space. 

1971 The Soviet Union, at United Nations Security Council, vetoed
a resolution calling for a cease-fire in hostilities between
India and Pakistan over Kashmir. 

1976 Jacques Chirac re-founded the Gaullist party as the RPR
(Rassemblement pour la République). 

1977 Egypt broke diplomatic relations with Syria, Libya, Algeria,
Iraq and South Yemen due to peaceful relations with Israel. 

1978 The American space probe Pioneer Venus I, orbiting Venus,
began beaming back its first information and picture of the
planet. 

1979 Sonia Johnson was formally excommunicated by the Mormon
Church due to her outspoken support for the proposed Equal Rights
Amendment to the Constitution. 

1983 In west Beirut, Lebanon, more than a dozen people were
killed when a car bomb shattered a nine-story apartment building.


1983 The video arcade game "NFL Football" was unveiled in
Chicago. It was the first video arcade game to be licensed by the
National Football League. 

1984 Iran's official news agency quoted the hijackers of a
Kuwaiti jetliner parked at Tehran airport as saying they would
blow up the plane unless Kuwait released 14 imprisoned
extremists. 

1985 The Dow Jones Industrial Average rose above 1,500 for the
first time. 

1986 The Soviet Union said it would continue to abide by the SALT
II treaty limits on nuclear weapons. This was despite the
decision by the U.S. to exceed them. 

1988 Jim Bakker and former aide Richard Dortch were indicted by a
federal grand jury in North Carolina on fraud and conspiracy
charges. 

1989 Israeli soldiers killed five heavily armed Arab guerrillas
who crossed the border from Egypt. The guerrillas were allegedly
going to launch a terrorist attack commemorating the anniversary
of the Palestinian uprising. 

1989 East Germany's former leaders were placed under house
arrest. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin kept the power to appoint
Cabinet ministers, defeating a constitutional amendment that
would have put his team of reformers under the control of
Russia's Congress. 

1998 James P. Hoffa became the head of the Teamsters union, 23
years after his father was the head. His father disappeared and
was presumed dead. 

2001 In Germany, Afghan leaders signed a pact to create a
temporary administration for post-Taliban Afghanistan. Two women
were included in the cabinet structure. Hamid Karzai and his
Cabinet were planned to take over power in Afghanistan on
December 22. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 300 million applications
downloaded. 

2010 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft became the longest-operating
spacecraft ever sent to Mars. The Odyssey entered orbit around
Mars on October 23, 2001. 

2014 NASA's Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (MPCV) debuted when
it was launched for a four hour test flight. It landed on target
in the Pacific Ocean. 

2018  smiled.


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Not receiving newsletters 





Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, December 4

The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up!


They have a web cam working intermittently at 
http://visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken
It is working a bit once in a while, but they 
definitely need some help.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Man says he's not required to register 
vehicle due to personal beliefs. Jailed now

______________________________________________________
Today, December 4 in
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally
adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated
1,000 people per day. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. --- Jean Kerr If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --- Harry Shearer ______________________________________________________ >From Lise My five children and I were playing hide-and-seek one evening. With the lights turned off in the house, the kids scattered to hide, and I was "it." After a few minutes I located all of them. When it was my turn to hide, they searched high and low but couldn't find me. Finally one of my sons got a bright idea. He went to the phone and dialed; they found me immediately because my phone started beeping. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let all that expensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into the empty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. ______________________________________________________ Lake Michigan _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Steven Logan Lincoln, Nebraska Man says he's not required to register vehicle due to personal beliefs Lincoln Police arrested a 35-year-old-man for failing to comply with an officer during a traffic stop when he said he didn't have to register his vehicle due to personal beliefs. Officers pulled over Steven Logan near 42nd and Baldwin streets on Nov. 29th, shortly after 9 p.m. After parking his car, police say Logan starting walking away from his vehicle. The officer told him to stop but he refused and kept walking so the officer grabbed Logan's arm. The officer then noticed Logan had a firearm and detained him. When asked for his identification, he told the officer that due to his personal beliefs, he's not required to register his vehicle. He was arrested for failing to comply, no insurance and no valid registration.
From: Kathy Re: Not receiving newsletter Dear Webby, Why haven't I been getting any emails from you I haven't gotten any in a while now Dear Kathy Your subscription goes out to kg*****@gmail.com Check your spam and trash and categories. You can search ALL MAIL You might have to make a filter to ensure GMAIL does not put your Humor Letter anywhere else but in the INBOX. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong. She must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The vicar spoke to Jane in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Save Old Toothbrushes Save old toothbrushes to use in your cleaning kit and tool box. Hard bristled toothbrushes work well for cleaning stubborn grout or hard to reach places. Soft bristled toothbrushes are effective on jewelry. They are useful for a variety of cleaning jobs. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Peter Jackson's Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I've Seen
___________________________________________________ Soon after I retired from the Air Force, I went to work in a warehouse where several other military retirees were employed. One day we received a large crate too big to fit in our storage area. A retired Army sergeant major immediately took charge. After 45 minutes of rearranging items and using various lifting devices, he finally got the crate in place. "And that's how the Army gets things done!" he boasted. "That's the Army way," said an Air Force retiree. "The Air Force would have made the delivery person put the crate away and gone for coffee." ___________________________________________________ >From Ann Today Is Not a Good Day Today is not a good day. I woke up sick in bed. My stomach has a stabbing pain thats spreading to my head. My knees are weak and achy. My eyes are full of flu. I fear I may contaminate; I have a fever too. I cannot see. I cannot breathe. I cannot read or write. My eyes are shut. My nose is blocked. Im not a pretty sight. I cannot lift a finger or move a tired toe. My throat is hot and scratchy. The answers simply NO . . . I cannot go to school today; Im awfully sorry too, this had to happen on the day my book report was due. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 1867 The National Grange of Husbandry was founded. 1875 William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail and fled from the U.S. 1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. The program had been created in order to provide jobs during the Great Depression. 1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first time during World War II. 1943 Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis announced that any club was free to employ black players. 1945 The U.S. Senate approved American participation in the United Nations. 1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 1977 Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire, crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to have cost more than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years later. 1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 1979 For the second time, the United Nations Security Council voted unanimously to urge Iran to free American hostages that had been taken on November 4. 1980 The bodies of four American nuns slain in El Salvador two days earlier were unearthed. Five national guardsmen were later convicted of the murders. 1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was shot down and captured by Syria. 1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran. Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers. 1986 Both U.S. houses of Congress moved to establish special committees to conduct their own investigations of the Iran-Contra affair. 1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt. 1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding. 1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon. 1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops to lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 1,000 people per day. 1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes. 1997 The National Basketball Association (NBA) suspended Latrell Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors for one year for choking and threatening to kill his coach, P.J. Carlesimo. 2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists face while pulling off the man's glasses. 2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking, satellite service pilfering and money laundering. An unused satellite TV tuner kit was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs were found. 2018 smiled.


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Not sent mail returned 




Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, December 3

The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up!

They are still disorganized with the live web cams, but
hopefully they can get them working soon.
Every year it is a competition to see if the good people can
protect the goat, or whether the punks can set it on fire.
Millions of people all over the world watch the web cams 
hoping to see the punks in time to alert the cops and 
fire department.

Once I find a working live web cam, I will post it again, 
as usual. 

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been 
found guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby.

______________________________________________________
Today, December 3 in
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris
Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges
Claude. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. --- Joseph Stalin (1879 - 1953) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for returning this classic: A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.' So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' God simply replied 'You are what you are.' The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?' The zebra looked puzzled. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'' St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.' The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?' 'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is.'' (.. Caution... If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton & Jesse will be on yo' ahss) ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dolly for this: My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely, And so does my lawn. I think I might never..... Put my glasses back on. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your father a big hug." ______________________________________________________ Camo Cat _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mathew Law, 50 in jail, Bristol, Britain British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been found guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby. Mathew Law, 50, is the eighth person to be convicted as part of an investigation by the National Crime Agency (NCA), following a two week trial at Bristol Crown Court. He first came into contact with the paedophile ring, who communicated using anonymous software Tor and the dark web, through prominent member Christopher Knight. Knight, 38, was jailed for 24 years in 2015 after being convicted of rape of a child under 13, conspiracy to rape a child under 13, sexual assault of a child under 13 and possessing indecent images of children. Law pleaded guilty to conspiring to rape a child under the age of 13 and has been remanded into custody to be sentenced at a later date. ‘Mathew Law is the eighth individual to be jailed since this investigation began in 2014,’ Luke Phillips from the NCA said.
From: Debbie Re: Not sent mail returned Dear Webby, Here I am again...:o) I just got an email that said "Your message has encountered delivery problems to the following recipient(s): claudio.oliveira@twaron.com.br Delivery failed User not known" I know I can trust you. I don't know who this person is. I didn't email anyone with that address. Attached are two files AT00026.dat and AT00029.dat could these be some kind of a virus or spy ware? Thank you so much for saving my day so many times! Debbie Delete the attached files and then delete that email. That Brasilian address is just a spoof, to make you curious enough to click on those attachments. That email was sent from an infected machine that has your address in an Outlook Express address book, probably the machine of a friend or relative of yours. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Cookie for this story: A Minnesota Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "Listen mister, I have the authority of the State of Minnesota to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land." So the old farmer went over, sat down and picked up his newpaper. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the Highways employee at every step. The old farmer called out, "Show him your card, smartass!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Ruth took her car to her mechanic. She told him 'Every time I Take any of my friends out in my car, After a while there is this terrible smell !! . It never happens when I am driving alone'?? This intrigued the mechanic, so he said, 'OK, lets go for a spin And see what the problem is.' Off they went. She drove down a one-way street in the wrong direction At 70 MPH, swerving, Hitting the curb on both sides of the street, Narrowly missed three pedestrians in Pedestrian crossings, Ran several red lights, And just missed a Policeman on street traffic duty. Then, they returned to the shop, and she said, 'There it is now... there's that terrible smell! Can you smell it?' 'Smell it? Lady, I'm sittin' in it ! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Credit Card Rewards Don't be fooled by a credit card company's claims that credit cards can help you save money. Finance charges quickly erase any benefits that credit cards offer in cash back incentives unless you pay your credit card off at the end of each month. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Peter Jackson’s Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I’ve Seen
___________________________________________________ Mother cat with several kittens are walking in the park when a handsome Tom cat walks by and says, "Hi, Honey." Mother cat says, "Don't you 'Honey' me! You said we were only fighting!" ___________________________________________________ Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a father asked the boy how much his last date had cost. The son calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15 or so I think." "Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening." "To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more, but that was all the money she had." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
"Vocabulary Building" 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404 man." ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss. BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week." IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running in reverse.

Today December 3 in
1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. He was
eventually put to death for the 33 charges. 

1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly
coeducational school of higher education in the United States. 

1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance
Company issued the first fire insurance policy. 

1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris
Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges
Claude. 

1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 years
of planning and construction. The bridge suffered partial
collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11). 

1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time. 

1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire"
opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater. 

1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House Un-
American Activities Committee announced that former Communist spy
Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm of secret documents
hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm. 

1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by Dr.
Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart transplant on
Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 18 days after that. 

1967 The famed luxury train, "20th Century Limited," completed
its final run from New York to Chicago. 

1968 The rules committee of Major League Baseball (MLB) announced
that in 1969 the pitcher's mound would be lowered from 15 to 10
inches. This was done in order to "get more batting action." 

1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter.
The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972. 

1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two White
House entrances. 

1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed after a
cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide plant. The plant
was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary. 

1992 The UN Security Council unanimously approved a U.S.-led
military mission to help starving Somalians. 

1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna,
Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil. 

1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting her
public appearances because she was tired of the media's
intrusions into her life. 

1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a cease-
fire in their 18-year war. 

1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release
hundreds of UN peacekeepers. 

1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested for
his role in a 1979 coup. 

1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented
to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of anti-
personnel land mines. The United States, China and Russia did not
sign the treaty. 

1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International
Monetary Fund to bailout its economy. 

1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the
Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French
Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands. 

1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day
meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new round
of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests by
various groups who had no clue what the meeting was aboout, but
they caused $2 Billion in damages. 

1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)
lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered Mars'
atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned. 

2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth on successfully after its
first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010. 

2018  smiled.


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