Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, February 19, 2011

Thanks Gregory!
Thanks, John!

Re yesterday's report about Obama proposing a $5.50 head tax
on Canadians entering the US, that is not Obama bashing. He
seems to be doing a pretty good job of that himself. And it's not
a dumb idea by the "Republican Controlled Congress", and it's
not Bush's doing, but in Obama's budget proposal.
http://snipurl.com/5.50-fine

Canada's answer? WestJet will add more direct flights to Mexico
and the Caribbean Islands.
Canadians and Canadian Dollars are welcome there. 
There is a lot of demand for those flights for medical reasons,
because people don't want to or can't wait for Medicare, but
also to save BIG bucks on voluntary procedures like Lasik eye
surgery, dental work, and cosmetic surgery. 

Especially during a colder than normal winter a lot of people
find it hard to resist being able to combine no-wait Lasik, a few
days tanning at a warm beach plus the flight for less 
than what they pay here for an eye exam and new glasses.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



"Love many, hate few,
learn to paddle your own canoe."
--- Socratex

We are here and it is now. Further than that all human 
knowledge is moonshine.
--- H. L. Mencken

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, 
but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
--- Robert Heinlein

Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. 
We need more statesmen.
--- Bob Edwards


An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of
caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the
expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the
refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a
single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't
you try carrying several things at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her
20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."


Since nobody seems to want to have that Rogue remover getting
rid of phony virus removers and guarding against them, I have 
moved it into the Tool Box. When you do need it, and if your
infection allows you to get it, it will be there.


Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. 
Full movies in DVD quality
Legal and direct, not file sharing!
$5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, 
about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term.
No installation or extra hardware Required!
You do not need to be computer experienced to download 
and watch movies. Simply register, login, and 
start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY!
* "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space!



The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the
outhouse into the river. Later, her father told her the
story of George Washington chopping down his father's
cherry tree.

The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed
the outhouse into the river." He told her to bend over and
the shocked child protested that George Washington had not
been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father
wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!"


One day a little girl was watching her mother as she sat before
her bedroom mirror arranging her hair.  The little girl asked:
"What do you call those fancy curves you trick into your hair?"

The mother replied:  "These are waves, dear."

The little girl pondered that for a moment and then solemnly
declared:  "Poor Daddy, he's all beach."



Click through the picture to the large version.
Linda: What's that you're reading?
Judie: A diary.
Linda: What's in it?
Judie: I can't tell you that. A diary is a highly personal and
confidential affair; It has important secret dreams and secret
yearnings. It's private. It's not meant to be shared lightly with
other people. And besides, this diary belongs to Margaret.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Laura Campanello, 43, in Bradenton, Florida.

Cleavage Beef Ends With Woman's Bust
A Florida woman upset that a visitor to her son’s school was 
showing too much cleavage was arrested yesterday morning 
after she allegedly took matters into her own hands, literally.

Laura Campanello, 43, was leaving a meeting with her 
17-year-old son’s guidance counselor at Bayshore High School 
when she passed a woman whom she believes was too scantily 
clad. After Campanello demanded that the woman--who was 
visiting the Bradenton school with an enrolling student--
to cover up her chest area, an argument broke out.

According to a Manatee County Sheriff Office affidavit, 
Deputy Greg Jenkins, the school’s resourse officer, arrived 
on the scene and advised Campanello that the other woman 
“was an adult and that he could not tell this lady how to dress.”

“Oh then I can…just do this,” Campanello responded. As detailed 
by Jenkins, Campanello then allegedly “pulled the front of her 
own blouse down, reached in with both hands and pulled both 
breasts out and squeezed them together.” 

The impromptu display in front of several onlookers resulted 
in Campanello’s arrest for disorderly conduct.

Campanello was booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor 
rap. After posting $220 cash bond, she was freed early this morning.

In an interview, Campanello, a former Spanish teacher from 
Ohio whose various medical conditions forced a recent move to 
Florida, denied exposing her breasts. “I am a proper person,” 
she said, adding that Deputy Jenkins was a “chubby, rude, 
lewd, and lascivious” man who “had it out for her.”

Campanello said yesterday’s incident has left her suffering 
from post-traumatic stress disorder, and that she intends to 
sue the school, sheriff, and jail for their mistreatment of her.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Robert
Re: Running out of space on C: drive

Morning Webby, 
Still loving your new and insights.  I am looking for some advice again.
I want to buy an external hard drive to back up my computer.   
I would back up weekly my invoices, etc. from my small business 
but also want to back up my many pictures.

What back up program  would you suggest that, if used weekly, 
would only back up the files that have been changed?   Also 
where would be the best place to buy and not cost an arm 
and/or a leg?

Thanks again.  Chip

Dear Chip
A good place for USB drives is http://tigerdirect.com

For backing up, get comfortable with the DOS command: xcopy
It is awesome.

And it has been included in DOS, which is still the secret core of 
Windows, for over 30 years.

Click on 
START
RUN  and type
cmd

You are at the DOS command line.
type 
xcopy /?

It will list the switches.

The most important switch is /D
When you use that, it copies only files that are newer at the source 
than at the destination.

For example, to copy all the NEW jpg files from c:\pix\flowers
to F:\pix\2011, but ignore GIF, BMP and TIF, you would type
xcopy /D c:\pix\flowers\*.jpg F:\pix\2011

Now, stop panicking!
I know it would be too hard on the typo finger to do that each time.
So you copy and paste that command into a plain text file.
Save that as back.bat
and make a short-cut icon to it.

If you want to copy all the NEW Excel spreadsheets from
E:\Num\11 to F:\xls\11, you type
xcopy /D /Q E:\Num\11\*.xls F:\xls\11

The /Q causes it to do the copying quietly, without displaying 
the file names, as it copies them.

Copy and paste that command into the back.bat, as the second line.
Add whatever else you want to back up, one command per line,
and save it.

Whenever you hit that shortcut icon, it executes ALL the commands 
in that .bat file, in the order that you put them.
You can add more commands any time, or edit them at any time.
You have total control and total flexibility.

There are well over a hundred different commands like xcopy.
A neat one is 
echo

If you put into the bat, for example as the second line (after copying the JPG files):
echo All the JPG files are backed up now

then it will show, after it has backed up all those files,:
All the JPG files are backed up now

Another one is 
pause
It causes the computer to ask you to hit any key to continue.

In the early 80's, when I wrote the programs for the weigh 
stations in the Yukon, I wrote a back-up bat for them, and 
put these lines at the end:

echo Everything backed up successfully.
pause
echo Not THAT key!
pause
echo That's better!

I got yelled at, of course, but it was worth it.

You can use the echo command to put in a running commentary, 
so that even years later you instantly know what each line is doing.

Once you are comfortable with the xcopy and the echo command, 
you can of course play with any of the other ones too.

For example
dir /b  produces a bare directory listing.
dir /b F:\xls\11
will show all the files in that folder

dir /b F:\xls\11 >> F:\xls\log.txt
will add that list into the log.txt file.

date /T >>  F:\xls\log.txt
will add the date to the log.txt

So, by adding this to the bottom of the back.bat, you get 
a neat log of the back-ups, with the date showing when
it was done.

dir /b F:\xls\11 >> F:\xls\log.txt
date /T >>  F:\xls\log.txt
echo ====================== >>  F:\xls\log.txt


Instead of buying a back-up program, that is not nearly 
as flexible, just write a bat and edit it to suit you whenever 
you want to change or add anything.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can write emails, you can blog and make money.
Blogging To The Bank
Yes, you CAN! 
However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking
about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book
for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK


From Georgina
I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our kids
to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband
ordered a bottle of wine with the meal.

When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet
as she began the ritual uncorking. When she poured a
small amount for my husband to taste, our six-year-old
piped up, "Let Mom try it. Mom can drink a lot more than
that!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
100 Calorie Snack Packs
Why spend hard earned money on pre-packaged 100 calorie 
snacks? Here are some you can package yourself and always 
have ready for yourself or your kids' lunch box. Each of 
these will fit into a small snack zip lock bag which I buy 
at my local dollar store.

    * 1 small orange, peeled and sectioned
    * 2/3 cup of cocoa puffs cereal
    * 15 mini carrots
    * 3 tablespoons raisins
    * 6 reduced fat Triscuits
    * 1 cup of washed and cut celery slices
    * 12 soy crisps
    * 1 cup of watermelon
    * 13 Stauffer's animal crackers
    * 3/4 oz. cheddar cheese
    * 2 twizzlers stix
    * 7/8 cup of cheerios
    * 2/3 cup mini marshmallows
    * 1 cheese stick and 5 slices of shaved ham 

I am so glad I saw this suggestion. I know you will like it, too.

Source: Ladies Home Journal Sept. 2009 issue
By Bobbie G from Rockwall, TX
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to
thinking about things.
"Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?"
he asked his mother.

"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself
for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.

Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and said,
"I'm glad you don't do any thinking. You would look silly
without long hair."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost.
They are added to the age of the women that she talks about.






 »   New York Digital Gallery
 

[ view entry ] ( 290 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 462 )

---

Not enough space on C: drive 

Friday, February 18, 2011, 11:39 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, February 18, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Full Moon mania affects Obamanov, again.
This time he proposed to charge Canadians, who fly into 
the US $5.50 per trip, ostensibly to help pay down the 
deficit.

That charge or fine for hauling hard currency into the US and
spending it there, discourages travel to the US, and since 
the collection of the charge or fine is done in Canada, it
boosts Canadian jobs. 

US citizens would be excempt from that fine for hauling 
hard currency to the US, since they would be hauling 
US dollars to Canada. 

In sumary, he wants to
discourage travel to the US and
subsidize travel within Canada,
create employment in Canada, all just to
collect a ridicuous fine, that probably costs more 
to collect, than it brings in.

Either Obamanov or his speech writer, or both, 
are giving dope a bad name, 
but the Canadian tourism industry is heartily 
applauding.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



"It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy.
The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted."
--- Mary O'Connor



Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends
relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their
peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome,
visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure
themselves some privacy.

Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door
of their RV:

"Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."
--------------
Another trick that used to work quite well was putting a
violin case and a sheaf of musical scores onto the picnic
table. Nobody will park on either side of you. By the way,
you can fit 11 cans of beer or pop into a good violin case.


Since nobody seems to want to have that Rogue remover getting
rid of phony virus removers and guarding against them, I have 
moved it into the Tool Box. When you do need it, and if your
infection allows you to get it, it will be there.


Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. 
Full movies in DVD quality
Legal and direct, not file sharing!
$5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, 
about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term.
No installation or extra hardware Required!
You do not need to be computer experienced to download 
and watch movies. Simply register, login, and 
start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY!
* "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space!



One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son noticed that his
mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?"

In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a
Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a
moment.

Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"

I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple
explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," I said, "at
a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic
bowls to each other for twice the price they cost at Walmart."

He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.
Then he burst into laughter.

"Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"



Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

For those, who had trouble seeing the baby hawk, here he
is with a more contrasting background.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Texas legislature

Prisons full in Texas
The rate of violent crime in Texas has fallen sharply since 
the mid 1990s, and thanks to permissive gun laws, overall 
violent crime in Texas today is at its lowest level in more 
than thirty years, but you wouldn’t know that by looking 
at the state’s prisons.

The Texas Department of Corrections Institutional Division 
is bulging with convicts, and the Bexar County Jail is 
overflowing to the point that costs to the county are 
skyrocketing.

A conservative and business group says the reason is 
simply...Texas has too many crimes.

“There are thousands of amazing things you can be sent to 
prison for today by both state and federal courts,” said 
State Rep. Jerry Madden (R-Plano).  “You can go to jail 
for importing orchids without the proper paperwork, 
shipping lobster tails in the wrong packaging, and even 
for failing to return a library book.”



From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Robert
Re: Running out of space on C: drive

Dear Webby,
I partitioned my hard drive, like you suggested, and have
almost only the Operating System on the C: drive, but I
started getting warnings, that it is getting too full.
What is going on?
Robert

Dear Robert
Shut down all programs before sutting down the computer.
Yes, ALL! Even little and insignificant helper utilities.
That will drastically reduce the start-up cheater files pagefile.sys
and hiberfil.sys. Windows uses them to cache what is running,
and uses that to help starting up next time, so that the start-up
is not quite THAT embarrassing.

Just closing all programs can gain you 3 - 5 GB of space on 
the C: Drive. Usuallythat is enough elbow room to do some weeding.

Also use Crap Cleaner and dump the recycle bin.
By the way, you CAN move the Recycle Bin to the E: drive.

Reboot and start looking for log files.
If you, for example, use the Tab Saver, a very handy and highly
recommended FireFox Add-In, it saves the open tabs every time
you open or close another tab. That comes in extremely handy, 
when a malicious program or a nasty user malfunction closes
the browsers without saving the tabs, or dumps the cookies and
history (inluding tabs). TabSaver writes a little log file, each time
you ipen or close a tab. If you told it to save them on the C: drive,
and somebody in your famiy is a prolific browser, after a couple of
years you could have over a Million of those little 4 - 5 KB log files.

Usually there is no need to keep them longer than a week, and maybe
one a month for sentimental reasons, but the rest can be dumped.
Just make a folder and call it Tab-Keepers, and drag one from
each month into it, and delete the rest.

You will be surprised how much space you gain, and how much 
faster everything works.

The same, of course, also applies to any other program that keeps
a log.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can write emails, you can blog and make money.
Blogging To The Bank
Yes, you CAN! 
However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking
about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book
for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK


An elderly widow and widower had been dating for about five years
when the man finally decided to ask her to marry.  She immediately
said, "Yes."

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her
answer was!  "Was she happy?  I think so.  Wait, no, she looked at
me funny," he thought.  After about an hour of trying to remember
to no avail, he called her on the telephone.  He was very embarrassed
and admitted to her that he just could not remember her answer to
the marriage proposal.

"Oh", she said, "I am so glad you called.  I remembered saying 'yes'
to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Epsom Salts for Plants
Use Epson salt to perk up your plants and make them lush and 
healthy. Use a teaspoon per gallon.

By Fran from Bath, PA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance:
leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed
their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he
doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice,
why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Little Suzie ran into the house, crying as though her
heart would break. "What's wrong, dear?" asked her
mother.

"My doll! Johnny broke it!" she sobbed.

"How did he break it, Suzie?"

"With his head!
I hit him over the head with it."






 »   Snowed Over & Under
 

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---

It's Their Fault! 

Thursday, February 17, 2011, 04:32 PM -
Posted by Administrator

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---

Auto-Play PPS in Open Office 

Thursday, February 17, 2011, 10:31 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thanks Joseph!

I was surprised that nobody had any helpful idea about Adobe 
Flash Player crashing at least once a day on W7. FireFox wrote
the "Container.exe" to contain and isolate Adobe, so that 
it's crash does not crash the browser or the computer. 
Well, they tried. IF you have another window with FireFox open
with some unimportant butsafe sites open in tabs, closing some
of those will generally unlock the other window with the crashed
Adobe Flash Player, and even restart it. 

I am still hoping for a better solution than that.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that
within me there lay an invincible summer."
--- Albert Camus



These two ol' boys from Beaumont bought a new mule, but had
trouble getting him in their barn. Every time they would
get him to the door, his ears would brush the top of the
doorway and he'd start kicking and go wild. Finally, they
decide the best way to solve the problem is to jack up the
barn. So, they go out and get a half dozen jacks.

The two Texans are scrambling from jack to jack to try
to get the barn raised when this Cajun walks up. "Wot chall
doin?" Boudreaux asks.

"We's raisin thuh barn, yuh stoopid Cajun," Billy Bob says.

"Why you do dat?"

"Cause thuh mule's ears keep touchin' thuh doorway when we
try to put him in iss-here barn and he goes haf-crazy wild,"
Billy Bob says. "He kicked Ernest Wayne plumb in thuh haid
twicet already."

"Why come you don' just dig a four inch lower in de doorway?
Dat way him got to go down when he get to de do' an him ear
don't touch nutin."

"Ya stoopid Cajun," Ernest Wayne chimes in. "It's his ears
at's too long, not his laigs!"



Front Line Rogue Remover
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A State Police Officer exited the freeway near one of those
chicken restaurants and noticed that a customer had left a
bucket of chicken on top of his car and was driving out of the
parking lot.  The officer decided to pull him over and perform
a community service by giving the driver his chicken.  So, he
pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off
the roof and offered it to the driver.

The driver says, "No thanks, I just bought some."


 Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

Do you see the worried looking baby hawk ?

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Joel Dobrin, 32, of San Diego, Calif.

Dog tosses dope out the window
MORO, Ore. - An Oregon sheriff's deputy didn't need a drug dog 
to point out a stash during a recent traffic stop. The driver's 
dog did it for him.

KGW-TV reports Sherman County sheriff's Sgt. John Terrel 
was pulling over a pickup truck Feb. 9 when he saw a sock 
fly out the window. It turned out to be stuffed with marijuana 
and hashish.

The driver told Terrel he was trying to hide the sock, but 
his pit bull mix grabbed it and wouldn't let go, enjoying 
a tug-of-war game.

The dog won the tussle and tossed the sock out the 
window, and the 32-year-old driver was indicted on 
drug possession charges.

Dobrin was indicted by the Sherman County Grand Jury and 
is scheduled to appear in Sherman County Circuit Court on 
charges of possession of a controlled substance.

Not more details, but hilarious comments at http://snipurl.com/dog-tosses-dope


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Hanna
Re: Play PPS in Open Office

Dear Webby,
Open Office opens PPS files ready for copying or editing
slides. Most of the time, that's exactly the way I like it.
Sometimes, though, I just want a PPS to play on it's own.
How do I ger Open Office to do that?
Thanks
Hanna

Dear Hanna
Just hit F5
There is a sneaky trick embedded in that, though.
If you are in a long slide show presentation, you can scroll
down to where you paused, highlight the last slide you watched,
and hit F5. It will start playing there, no need to tediously 
wade through from the beginning.

You can even use the mouse scroll wheel to back up a frame
or a few frames, however, that stops the sound, until you hit
F5 again.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can write emails, you can blog and make money.
Blogging To The Bank
Yes, you CAN! 
However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking
about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank
for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK


An elderly widow and widower had been dating for about five years
when the man finally decided to ask her to marry.  She immediately
said, "Yes."

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her
answer was!  "Was she happy?  I think so.  Wait, no, she looked at
me funny," he thought.  After about an hour of trying to remember
to no avail, he called her on the telephone.  He was very embarrassed
and admitted to her that he just could not remember her answer to
the marriage proposal.

"Oh", she said, "I am so glad you called.  I remembered saying 'yes'
to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Softer Line Dried Clothing
Do you line dry your laundry only to discover when it's 
dried out that it needs ironing? Try putting 1/3 cup of 
vinegar in the washer. Vinegar will take the soap residue 
out of the laundry and your laundry will be lots softer. 

By Queen Bee from TN
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


 A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing
 and went to a marriage counselor.  After a few visits, and a lot
 of questioning and listening, the counselor said that he had
 discovered the main problem.

 He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and
 gave her a tight hug and kiss.  He looked at the man and said, 
 "This is what  your wife needs, at least once a day!"

 The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "Ok, what
 time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

An Australian travel writer touring North America was
checking out of the Spokane Hilton, and as he paid
his bill asked the manager, "By the way, what's with
the Indian chief sitting in the lobby? He's been there
ever since I arrived."

"Oh that's 'Big Chief Forget-me-Not'," said the manager.
"The hotel is built on an Indian reservation, and part
of the agreement is to allow the chief free use of the
premises for the rest of his life.
He is known as 'Big Chief Forget-me-Not' because of
his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember
the slightest detail of his life."

The travel writer took this in, and as he was waiting
for his cab decided to put the chief's memory to the test.
"'ello, mate!" said the Aussie, receiving only a slight nod
in return.
"What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?"

"Eggs," was the chief's instant reply, without even
looking up, and indeed the Aussie was impressed by
the speed and certainty in the chief's reply.

He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across
to the east coast and back, telling others of
Big Chief Forget-me-Not's great memory.

One local noted to him that 'How' was a more
appropriate greeting for an Indian chief than ''ello mate.'

On his return to the Spokane Hilton six months later
he was surprised to see 'Big Chief Forget-me-Not' still
sitting in the lobby, fully occupied with whittling away
on a stick.
"How!" said the Aussie.
"Scrambled," said the Chief.






 »  Curious Clocks
 

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---

Adobe Flash Player crashing on W7 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011, 01:17 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Thanks Joseph!

Texas wants $269 Million from Amazon for sales tax it should have
charged Texans. Amazon figured that was just a guessed ball-
park figure and is demanding in court, that the Texas Comptroller's
office fork over detailed tax information for 2005 to Dec 2009.

I have a hunch they will settle out of court for half the money.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, 
I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
--- Dorothy Parker

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time;
it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."
--- Sydney J. Harris

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. 
Willing is not enough, we must do.
--- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach
on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the
scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time.

A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the
placement of the story in the Bible.  They slipped into the
church and very carefully glued two pages of the pulpit 
Bible together.

The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text.
"Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was"
 - he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits long,
 fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high."

He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read
it silently, and turned the page again.

Then he looked up at his congregation and said, "I've been
reading this old Bible for near fifty years, but there are some
things in it that still amaze me."



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When my aunt's son was 3, he wanted a cuss word that he
could use without getting yelled at. To appease the kid she
told him that he could say, "Dag nabbit."

Well, the problem was that next time his toy crane fell over
it sounded like: "Damn Wabbit !!"


 


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Steve Urbansky, 46, of Lorain, Ohio

Sidewalk Mower, Gets DUI
This news story wouldn’t even be a news story had it not 
been for the boozebrained inspiration of the protagonist here, 
Steve Urbansky of Lorain. The 46-year old was collared by police 
a little after midnight Sunday morning, according to Fox 8. The 
driver had pulled his car into a snow bank. It got stuck.

Police arrived, did a field sobriety test which Urbansky failed. 
By way of explanation for his driving, he repeatedly told police 
he was “just trying to mow the sidewalk.”
---------------
He was probably trying to remember the old saw:
"If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk!", 
but was too drunk to remember it.



From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Ruth
Re: Adobe Flash player crashing

Dear Webby,
We use Accu-Radio for background music in the warehouse
and also in the office. In the warehouse it is running on my 
old PC, that I retired about 5-6 years ago. Other than the music 
that machine is just used for spreadsheets and email. It
gets rebooted whenever an update requires it and automatically
does it in the dark of the night. Sometimes, after an update, the
radio has to be restarted, but it has never locked up.

In the front we got the radio running on the Windows 7 machine, 
that I very briefly used last year. That machine runs just the radio
and is not used for anything else. However, on that one, the
radio stops sometimes once, somtimes a few times a day.
Each time it does that, there is an error message, that Adobe
Flash Player crashed.

That machine has 4 GB of RAM and almost 250 GB free space
on the hard drive. Why is that one crashing, and the old
fossil in the back keeps running? What can we do to fix that?
Ruth

Dear Ruth
Most likely you have occasional brief connectivity problems.
W7 does not cope with those as gracefully as the old XP.
In the days it was made, connectivity interuptions were the
rule, not the exception.

I doubt that you can do anything to guarantee that there will
never be any interruptions. If the crashes or lock-ups of the
Flash Player, browser, mail and FTP are too much of a nuisance,
you'll have to put XP or Linux onto that machine. For unattended
single task machines Linux makes a lot of sense. Then it 
makes no difference, if the user interface is not as cute. 

The same applies to XP. If you just use it for radio and fax,
it will run without crashing for years.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can write emails, you can blog and make money.
Blogging To The Bank
Yes, you CAN! 
However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking
about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank
for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK


Little Sally went to the store with her grandmother.
On the way home, she looked through her bags to see
what gramma had purchased.

In one package, Little Sally found some panty hose
and she began to sound out the words "Queen Size."

She then turned to her grandmother and exclaimed,
"Wow Gramma, your butt is as big as Mom's bed!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make a Flannel Half Slip for Warmth
Make a flannel 1/2 slip to keep you warm. Cut a piece of 
new flannel, baby blankets or section of a flannel sheet. 
For the length: measure from waist to knee. Add 2 inches 
for hem, and 3 inches for top casing for elastic. The width 
of fabric needs to equal your hip measurement plus 4 inches.

Sew side seams, hem and upper casing. Cut 1 inch elastic 
to fit waist and use large safety pin to feed it through the 
casing. Sew ends. These slips plus turtlenecks have enabled 
me to wear "summer" clothes all year.

By ruthellen from Columbia, MD
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A young and arrogant pilot wanted to "show off" on the
aviation frequencies as he was approaching an airfield
during the night.  So, he disregarded policy and, instead
of making an official request to the tower, he said,
"Guess who?"

The air traffic controller switched the field lights off
and replied, "Guess where?"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Sue: "I like cats, do you?"

Bob:  "Yes, I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes."






 »  Ocean Time Line
 

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---

Twenty Pounds 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011, 07:35 PM -
Posted by Administrator

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---

Rainlendar 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011, 12:15 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Thanks for all the Valentines cards and letters!

The servers handled this years Valentines Day quite nicely.
None of them overloaded, though one of them slowed down a
bit early in the morning, when all the pre-sent Valentines 
cards were delivered. Nowadays most people pre-send them
days or even weeks in advance, to make sure they don't
forget anybody.

Next peak will be Easter, and then comes the big Mothers Day.
Surprisingly, Fathers Day is an even bigger peak, when all
the kids butter up dad to hopefully get an increase in their 
allowance.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



"Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible,
and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
--- Saint Francis of Assisi

Always acknowledge a fault.
This will throw those in authority off their guard
and give you an opportunity to commit more.
--- Mark Twain

Always do right.
This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
--- Mark Twain


Delivering his speech at the opening banquet of a national
convention, the visiting minister told several anecdotes he
expected to repeat at meetings the next day.

Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested
that the reporters omit them from any accounts they might
turn in to their newspapers.

A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece
with the following:
"The minister told a number of stories that cannot be printed
here."



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



 One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of
 Chicken  Little to her class. She came to the part of the story
 where  Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read,
 ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said,
 "The sky is  falling, the sky is falling!"

 The teacher paused then asked the class,
 "And what do you think  that farmer said?"

 One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said:
 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'"


Thanks to Edward for this picture:
Webby, doon"t let anyone tell you ARIZONA is just ugly desert, 
these flowers bloomed in our front yard, sorry all the quail 
were missing. The neighborhood cats got them.  LOL 
 Keep up the good work friend, Edward 
 


Click through the picture to the large version.

I have been going to Arizona every spring for the last 25 years.
This year I can't, because of financial reasons, not because 
I don't like Arizona.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Jerrie Perkins, 30, of Pontiac, Micigan

Shoplifter gets stuck in doorway
ROCHESTER HILLS, Mich., Feb. 14 (UPI) -- A 400-pound Michigan 
woman was caught shoplifting when her motorized cart got stuck in 
the store's door, authorities say.

Jerrie Perkins, 30, of Pontiac was attempting to leave a Meijer 
store in Rochester Hills with more than $600 worth of stolen 
electronic merchandise Tuesday night, the Oakland County 
Sheriff's Office told The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens, Mich.

She set off the door alarm and hit a store employee, who 
confronted her, authorities said. When a sheriff's deputy 
arrived, she "took a fighting stance". She didn't appear to 
be mobility impaired, and had to be tasered to be subdued, 
the report said. 

Perkins was charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and 
obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud. 
Her bond was set at $15,000 at her arraignment Thursday.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Rebbie
Re: Rainlendar

Hi Webby,
 
Regarding your February 13th newsletter and Jeanne who wants a simple
calendar. Tell Jeanne there is a small program called Rainlendar. This cute
calendar is on my desktop and has many options to it. You can also change
the color of the calendar and have events that will pop up and inform you
of any events you might have coming up. You can also scroll to see a 
previous month, or any upcoming month. The best thing about this small
calendar is it's FREE !
 
Keep up the good work on your wonderful newsletter.
 
Smiles.............Rebbie 

Dear Rebbie
I have mentioned Rainlendar a few times before, 
and it is still in my Tool Box, 
though quite a ways down.

Quite a few subscribers use it and like it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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 was recovering from surgery when a charity representative
phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising
effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."

Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change
my mind and volunteer.

I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what
that means?"

She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"

--------------
Reminds me of the time I told a telemarketer that the reason
I was not interested in her long distance scam was because
I didn't have a phone.
She apologized for calling.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Tall Laundry Hampers as Trash Cans
Tall laundry hampers are about half the price of kitchen size 
trash cans. You can get them for as little as $5 at Deals!, 
Family Dollar, and Dollar General and they hold a kitchen 
size trash bag nicely. You can use it on laundry day for 
clothes and the rest of the time for a trash can.

By Mrslinkous from KC
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Q: What is the most dangerous part of a car?
A: The nut that holds the steering wheel.



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

"Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going
to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?"

Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say."

Well then, I'm going to milk the parrot!"






 »  Colorful Nature
 

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---

Erratic mouse 

Monday, February 14, 2011, 12:07 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day!
Since some people turn it into Guilt Day, if you don't show a sign
of life on February 14, here are some non-traditional 
Valentines cards:











You can send those cards to 25 people at a shot, and each will see it, 
as if he or she was the only one to receive a card from you.

If the links don't work in your email program, just go to the online version
of the humor letter at http://humor.webby.com

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



Never exaggerate your faults.
Your friends will attend to that.
--- Sir Francis Bacon

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
--- Anthony Burgess

A TV can insult your intelligence,
but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
--- Socratex


Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's
         try it again.
         Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: NO, SIR!



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



For our 20th anniversary my husband and I vacationed
in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling.  After an hour in
the water, everyone got back on the boat, except for
me and one handsome young man. As I continued my
underwater exploring, I noticed that everywhere I swam,
he swam.  I snorkeled for another 40 minutes.  So did he.

I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked him
coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long.

"I'm the lifeguard," he replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't
get out until you did."


Thanks to Christine from Australia for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Stanislav Vadimovich Bakanov, 30, in Marion County, Oregon

Thanks to Jackie for sending this report:
Stupid is as stupid does: Man filmed his 225-km/h 
joyride for YouTube
OREGON - A man who filmed the speedometer of his car while 
driving more than 225 kilometres per hour so he could post it on 
YouTube ended up in jail on Saturday and the video confiscated, 
police said.

Stanislav Vadimovich Bakanov, 30, was pulled over by police on 
Oregon Interstate 5 after he was clocked driving his black 2005 BMW 
at 189 kilometres per hour. He filmed Sheriff's Deputy Ryan Postlewait 
as he approached the car.

When Postlewait asked why he was videotaping, Bakanov said he was 
filming his speedometer, and his arrest, to post on YouTube. The video 
later revealed that Bakanov had attained speeds in excess of 225 
kilometres per hour.

He was arrested and confined in Marion County jail Saturday night, 
charged with reckless driving and speeding. It was his third speeding 
incident in the past year. The video was confiscated and will be used 
as evidence against him.

Marion County Police spokesman Don Thompson said winds were 
gusting at up to 80 kilometres per hour during the day.
"There were tree branches down on the freeway. To be driving at 
these speeds today was just plain crazy," he said. 


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Ann
Re: Mouse is going berserk

Dear Webby,
hope you are having a good day and the weather is nice there, 
we have beautiful weather in  Tx. today, like a spring day, loving 
it after all the cold and messy days. 
I am having a problem with my cursor freezing up and flying all 
over the screen, what can I do to fix this problem? I am about 
ready to throw this computer out the window, 
thanks   for all your  help!! 
Ann

Dear Ann
That is your mouse, or the surface you use your mouse on.
Clean the mouse, and use it on regular paper, 
not on anything shiny.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Best deal for McAfee

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I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university.
Our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library
and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that
the professors were the best in the country, and she re-
commended my daughter apply early to improve her chances
for admission. "We get so many applicants," she boasted,
"because of the stature of the school."

After the tour I asked our guide, "So, why did you choose
this school?"

"Oh," she replied matter-of-factly, "my boyfriend went there
and now works at the McDonalds across the street."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Heart Shaped Pizza for Valentine's Day
This is a great way to share your love on Valentine's Day 
or any other day. I cooked Ellio's frozen pizzas and cut 
them into hearts using a heart shaped cookie cutter after 
they cooled a bit. They were gone in no time and best 
part is Mom gets to eat the piece's that are left over after 
cutting them! Thank you for looking.

By CinnamonRoseCottage from York County, PA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Confusion is one woman plus one multiple choice left turn;
Excitement is two women plus one secret;
Bedlam is three women plus one bargain;
Chaos is four women plus one lunch check and one coupon.



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Five Belgians in an Audi Quattro arrive at the French border.
The French Customs agent stops them and tells them:
"It's illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro."

"Oh, no, Quattro is just the name of the automobile. Look
at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons."

"You can't pull that one on me," replies the French customs
agent. "Quattro means 4!"

"Oh, you are so stupid! Call your supervisor over!"
"He can't come. He's busy with the 2 guys in the Fiat Uno."






 »  Happy hearts Day
 
 Happy Hearts Day!

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---

The TSA picks up … where the Priests left off .. 

Sunday, February 13, 2011, 07:46 PM - ,
Posted by Administrator

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---

Simple calendar 

Sunday, February 13, 2011, 10:57 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, February 13, 2011

It is truly amazing how many people swallow the left-wing propaganda,
that Obama withdrawing support from Mubarak "brought democracy"
to Egypt.

Reality could not be further from the truth.
Mubarak was elected democratically in 2005.
People chose him, because they knew it took a big meany to 
drag a herd of barbarians towards civilization, especially when 
most of the burocracy insisted on religiously enshrined 
traditions of demanding and eciving bribes.

Mubarak was hated like a too strict father or coach, but
he was democratically chosen from amongst four candidates.
And he had stated, that he would not run again, and that they
should get organized and find some other scapegoat to curse.

With the left wing media equating the noisy third with "The People",
and Obama calling Mubarak a dictator, even though he was an 
elected president, the situation deteriorated, and when the US 
withdrew support, Mubarak didn't have a choice.
He had to end democracy, and hand control over to the military.

NOW they have a Military Dictatorship. Thanks to Obama,
Egypt has been set back 35 years and is no longer a democracy.
 
Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
--- William Blake

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand
--- Kurt Vonnegut


A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in the
women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst
into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for
cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,

"What's the matter, have you never seen a kid before?"



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



Here is a classic you can read to anybody:

Judie decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had
no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse,
unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Judie
begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's
mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw
her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side
of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping
rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, Judie attempts to leap
away from the horse and throw herself to safety.  Unfortunately,
her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the
mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck
against the ground over and over.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere
moments away from unconsciousness when to her great
fortune, Bill, the Wal Mart greeter, sees her difficulty and
unplugs the horse.


Thanks to Verna from Beechy, Saskatchewan


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Geneva Ward, 48 in Joliet, Ill

Drunk gramma calls 911
JOLIET, Ill., Feb. 12 (UPI) -- Authorities in Illinois said 
a drunken grandmother called 911 with a false report 
of being held hostage when family members wouldn't 
hand over her car keys.

Will County sheriff's deputies said Geneva Ward, 48, 
called 911 Sunday and reported she was being held at gunpoint, 
but deputies discovered a different situation when they arrived 
at the Lockport Township home, The (Joliet) Herald-News 
reported Friday.

"When deputies arrived, they discovered Ward had wanted to 
drive her grandchildren somewhere, but the parents felt she 
was too intoxicated and hid her keys," sheriff's spokeswoman 
Kathy Hoffmeyer said. "Ms. Ward stated when she called 911 
she said there was a gun because she 'just wanted deputies to 
get there fast.'"

Hoffmeyer said Ward was charged with disorderly conduct.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Jeanne
Re: Simple calendar

Dear Webby,
I need a simple and not too expensive calendar program, 
not to enter stuff into it, just for looking up what kind of 
weekday certain dates are.
Thanks
Jeanne

Dear Jeanne
Just hover the mouse over the clock in the right bottom of
the screen. It will show you today's day of the week and date.
Double-Click it, and you get a look-up calendar.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Best deal for McAfee

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McAfee Total Protection at $45 Discount!

This is a time limited promotion!


A little boy was attending his first wedding.  After the service,
his cousin asked him,  "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen,"  the boy responded.

His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.

"How did you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.  "All you have to do is add it up,
like the preacher said:
'Four better,  four worse,  four richer, four poorer.' "

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Less Ground Beef In Recipes
A lot of recipes call for 1 pound of beef, like Hamburger Helpers, 
tacos, etc. To get an extra meal out of a package of hamburger 
I use 3/4 of a pound of meat. I get the same flavor but more bang 
for my buck. So that way a 3 pound pack of beef will be good for 
4 meals.

Then I'll include something else to supplement the meal. For example 
when I make Hamburger Helper I'll make a salad (I'll get those 
bags of salad for 99 cents and add some tomatoes), for tacos 
since it doesn't make as much meat I'll make a can of refried 
beans so we layer meat and beans in our tacos.

My family loves it! With lasagna I'll add more cheese layers 
since meat is still more expensive than cheese.

By Parsnip39 from USA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


He'd been playing golf for years, and he had the finest
equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As
his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and
promptly drove a brand-new $25 ball into the woods.

On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a
lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of
the woods.

"Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked.

"I've never had an old ball," he said.



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at
his desk, looking very depressed.

"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.

"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly.  "She's hired a new
secretary for me."

"Well, nothing wrong in that.  Is she blonde or brunette?"

"Neither, Her grandfather is bald."






 »  Calorie Free Treats

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---

Hide Icons 

Saturday, February 12, 2011, 12:02 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, February 12, 2011

I wonder how much Obamanov's lying and whining and lack
of support for an organized transition figured in Mubarak's decision 
to tell everybody, that now THEY have a problem?

The liar was talking about "transition to democracy"!
Egypt DID have a democracy, and Mubarak was elected
democratically. 

He was forced from office, UNdemocratically, because 
40% of Egypt made more noise than the other 60%, 
and because Obama shifted support from the democratically 
elected president to the Muslim Brotherhood.

Did anybody realize, that Mubarak handed control  NOT 
to Obama's favorites, the Muslim Brotherhood,
but to the Army,? 
Or, if you look at it closely, left it with the Army?

He was Army, and came in the same way. He rode in with the
Army and became Vice president, and became President when
Sadat was assassinated.

Mubarka became the top scapegoat 30 years ago, taking
all the criticism, while the generals did the homework and
made the real decisions, which Mubarak had to announce
and defend.

There were a lot of social improvements and quite remarkable
economic develeopment during his shift, but like elsewhere, 
the creeping advance of socialism sapped the economy and 
caused a downturn and lot of unemployment. 

It will be interesting to see whether the Army rolls back 
Socialism to a sustainable level, or whether they get somebody
to play Mr Nice Guy and let things deteriorate to a bankrupt 
welfare state.
 
Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



"According to a new study, children that snore get
lower grades...especially if they're snoring in class."
--- Jay Leno

Oh, I don'rt know about that. I usually got yelled at a lot
less for snoring than for pranking.


 Sitting by the window in her convent,   Sister Anne opened
 a letter from home and found a $10 bill inside.
 As she read the letter, she caught sight of a shabbily
 dressed stranger leaning against a lamppost below.

 Quickly she wrote, "Don't despair, Sister Anne" on a piece
 of paper,  wrapped the $10 in it and dropped it out the window.

 The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled expression
 and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day
 Sister Anne was told that a man was at the door,
 insisting on seeing her.

 She went down and found the stranger waiting.
 Without a word, he handed her a roll of bills.
 "What's this?" she asked. "That's the 60 bucks you
 have coming.
  'Don't Despair' paid five to one."



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



Thanks to George for this story:
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had
died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to
get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife
to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into
our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use
it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to
her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it
needed to be pushed at a speed of at least 30mph for 
it to start.
She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.

A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror
coming at me at about 40 mph, I realized that I should have
been a bit clearer with my directions.


Thanks to Verna from Beechy, Saskatchewan


Click through the picture to the large version.

Prairie Sunset

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Sarah Casareto, 33, of Forest Lake, Minnesota


Nurse steals patient's medication
Sarah Casareto, a nurse is accused of stealing a patient’s 
pain medication moments before he was wheeled into 
surgery. The 33-year-old woman allegedly told her patient 
to “man up” because she couldn’t give him anymore pain 
medication. 

Why not? Because she’d already injected it herself. The 
man then underwent surgery to remove kidney stones with 
only 150 of the 500 micrograms of pain medication he 
should’ve been given, an experience he described as 
feeling like “very long needles going through my skin 
and down into my kidneys.” 

The nurse’s co-workers say they became suspicious 
when the patient seemed to have an unusual amount 
of pain. Their suspicions were confirmed when the 
nurse fell asleep on the job.

The medicine was Fentanyl, an opium-based medication 
used almost exclusively by hospitals for anesthesia, 
because it is powerful and fast-acting. It's considered 
80 times stronger than morphine and highly addictive.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Andrea
Re: Hide icons

Dear Webby,
is there a way to temporarily hide the icons on the desktop ?
Also, I need to know how to capture the desktop background
and save it in a usable format.
Thanks,
Andrea

Dear Andrea
JC Matt's Icon Hider does a very nice job.
This program puts an icon into your task bar. One click of it
hides the icons on your desktop. Next time you click that
Icon Hider taskbar icon, all your desktop icons return in their
old places. The program is free.

You can download it from my Tool Box at
http://webby.com/tools

The easiest way to capture your desktop is to first hide the
icons, then hit the PrintScreen key. That copies the screen
into the clipboard.
Restore the icons, open a paint program like PaintShopPro,
Hit CTRL V and a picture is opened that shows what you
captured.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Best deal for McAfee

McAfee Internet Security at $40 Discount!

McAfee Total Protection at $45 Discount!

This is a time limited promotion!


A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.
As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence,
a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and, with
a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't
you do something about this storm?"

And the minister said, "Young lady, I'm in sales, not
air conditioning."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sore Throat Remedy: Gargle With Cola
When a sore throat is beginning to develop, pull out the cola! 
Just gargle with any type of a cola (Dr. Pepper, Coke, Pepsi, 
favorite store brands of cola). Gargle and "spit" until the cola 
return looks like cola with no mucus. Do this as often as 
necessary. Sounds gross, but it works!

Source: Ole wives tale handed down through generations of 
my family.

By Joyce from Knoxville, TN
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Driving my friend Bill and his girlfriend to the airport, we
passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding a
can of beer. Bill's girlfriend glanced up at it and announced,
"I suppose if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I'd look like
her."

"No," Bill corrected, "If I drank a six-pack, THEN you'd look
like her."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Donna called in a repairman to fix his electric clock.

He examined it and told her, "There's nothing wrong with
the clock.  You didn't have it plugged in."

Donna replied, "I don't want to waste electricity, so I only
plug it in  when I want to know what time it is."

-------------
If you have a battery operated wall clock, batteries that are
too weak to run a camera or a mouse, will still power a wall
clock for about a year.






 »  Alberta Road Trip

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---

W7 even slower than it used to be 

Friday, February 11, 2011, 12:27 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, February 11, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Lindsay Lohan's crocodile tears mixed with confident smiles
didn't help her in court. The silly dingbat was confident on 
getting out ealy, like Paris Hilton, but clearly did not realize
that the sentence was booby-trapped with return tickets:
All kinds of probation, which in the case of an undisciplined 
spoiled brat just mean a delayed sentence.

For a heart warmer: 
92 year old lady beats up three robbers

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city,
it might be better to change the locks.
--- Doug Larson

The illusion that times that were
are better than those that are,
has probably pervaded all ages.
--- Horace Greeley

If taking vitamins doesn't keep you healthy enough,
try more laughter.
--- Socratex


"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends.
"First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I
was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics,
and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy."

"Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends.

"I don't know yet," the boy replied. "but it sure was the
toughest spelling test I ever had!"



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



A man will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he needs.

A woman will spend three dollars to find a two dollar item that
she does not need, but is marked on sale for one dollar off regular.




Click through the picture to the large version.

Sunset from the Webby Office

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Nicole Scott, 27 in Sandusky, Ohio

Drunk pulled herself over
SANDUSKY, Ohio - Police in Ohio can't take too much credit 
for stopping a woman they say was drinking and driving - 
they say she pulled herself over.

Officers in the town of Sandusky say the woman stopped because 
she thought she saw police lights, but it turns out the flashing 
lights were from a skating rink sign.

The Sandusky Register reports that the woman's car got stuck 
in a snowbank near the sign when she stopped early Monday 
and another motorist called police.

Officers say they took 27-year-old Nicole Scott to jail on 
charges of operating a vehicle under the influence. Police 
say Scott denied she had been driving. 

Yeah, right. It mush have been the schnow man, but he melted
wish all the glullible drinkin, ah, ah mean glullible warning,
ah, whatever it isch that causesch all the schnow.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Alex
Re: W7 even slower than it used to be

Dear Webby
Yeah, I know, getting W7 was a dumb idea. No need to rub
it in. Lately, though, it has gotten even slower than it 
used to be. Why is that, and what can I do about it?
Alex

Dear Alex
Windows in general, and W7 in particular, give sloppy
programming a bad name. A lot of stuff is duplicated all over
the place. Microsoft says, that is inevitable when over 40,000
different programmers in many different countries work on
a project, and that we should be glad it runs at all. 

You can get auto-runs from Technet. 
It is free.
It will show you which programs and procedures are started
automatically, when you boot up. Scary!
You CAN weed out stuff, that you don't need, but be careful!
Microsoft often labels different sub programs with the same 
name. 

However, it is quite safe to use for weeding out tool bars, 
that you don't want anyway, old mouse drivers, and any other
third party items, that are obsolete.

On most macines, that will speed up the boot-up quite nicely,
because Windows won't waste time searching for partially
un-installed items.

To really make a difference, though, you need a high quality
Registry Booster. 
Yes, I know, there are all kinds of free Registry tuners available. 
They are usually worth about as much as you pay for them.

With Registry Booster you will immediately
see a very noticeable difference. However, if you manually 
weed out even more than it does, Windows might not start up
again.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Best deal for McAfee

McAfee Internet Security at $40 Discount!

McAfee Total Protection at $45 Discount!

This is a time limited promotion!


Bob was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was his
first time in a casino, and he wasn't sure how the machines
operated.

"Excuse me." he said to a casino employee.  "How does
this work?"

The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin
button,  and operate the release handle.

"And where does the money come out?" he asked.

 He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying,
 "Usually at the ATM."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Storing Fishing Lures 
Fishing season is just around the corner. Pick up CD organizers 
that have separate compartments to store all your fishing rigs, 
sinkers, small lures, etc. They keep everything tangle free 
and easy to find. You can find the CD organizers at rummage 
sales this spring. They're inexpensive and effective. 

Source: Fishing magazine 

By annelaundrie from green bay, wi
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Personally, I do the opposite!
I use tackle boxes for first aid kits, 
nail and bolt bins for small screws, bolts and nails,
one for garden hose and plumbing fittings, 
even one to hold all the different types of glue I ocasionally 
need. 

Just don't send a glue box like that by air!

I made that mistake once, many years ago. Dad had admired my 
glue box, each glue in it's own little compartment. So I put 
together a tackle box just like that, and sent it to him for 
Christmas. 

For one reason or another, most of the glue tubes and 
containers burst open and permanently glued the box shut.
Not a single tray folded out after that. So I sent him another
tackle box and a gift certificate for stocking it with 25 types 
of glue.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A teenager was headed to school one morning when his
mom told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.
"I know," he replied.  "It's a fad me and some of the guys
started."

Weeks later, as the style persisted, she commented,
"I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you."
She gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair.

"Yeah," he said smiling slyly.  "All the girls do that."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

The census taker knocked on Donna's door.  She answered
all his questions except one.  She refused to tell him her age.

"But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said.

"Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?"
she asked.

"Certainly," he replied
"Well, I'm the same age as they are," she snapped.

"OK, I'll just write down: 'As old as the Hills'," he told her
as he safely stepped out of reach.






 »  Gullible Warming

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---

Hard Drive LED on task bar 

Thursday, February 10, 2011, 12:45 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, February 10, 2011

Moe sent me a link about the newest ship hijacking, a super tanker
carrying 200 Million dollars worth of oil, 
and a crew of 25 absolute minimum wage employees,
seven Greeks, 17 Filipinos and one Georgian.

Brinks uses two or more heavily armed guards to pick up the
change from the corner store, but the Greek owners of that
Billion Dollar super tanker were too cheap or too dumb to
put some protection onto that big tanker. It looks like they
were trying to lose it, probably to mess with the oil price.

Oh, well. Canada has plenty of oil, and we can always open
the valve on one of the southbound piplines a bit more.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going,
   because you might not get there.
--- Lawrence Peter Berra


Then the preacher introduced the choir:
"This is our prison choir," he said,
"behind a few bars and always looking for the key."



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty,
and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too.

"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry,"
she told him.

"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men
do you plan to marry?"




Click through the picture to the large version.

Phidippus Spider

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to the British Government Forensics Agency

Alcohol and drug sample testing dumped overnight.
The Forensic Science Service is being wound down by March
NEXT year, 13 months from now. So they stopped accepting
any more samples today. 

Police are scrambling to find licensed labs to do the testing.
The works is dead simple and easily automated, but the
licensing for producing data, that is accepted by the courts,
is apparently a nightmare, and could take many months.

In the meantime, the cops are supposed to store urine and 
blood samples in the station fridge, beside their sandwiches 
and yoghurts.

Apparently there is not a lot of enthusiasm for that, and
road side testing is expected to come to a halt.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Sara
Re: Hard Drive LED in task bar

Dear Webby
I used to have a little icon that showed me when my hard
drive was in use, so that I know if something is auto-saving
properly, and also to tell me when a download was finished.
It was just a little piece of freeware, but somehow I missed
transferring it to this computer, and I can't find it anywhere
on the net.
Thanks
Sara

Dear Sara
It is still available, but hard to find, and even harder to 
find the download link on their site. So I put it into my
Tool Box, right at the top.

For those of you, who are not familiar with it, Disk LED is a 
small task bar icon, that shows when your hard drive is active. 
It can aslo be used to show printer queue activity, so that you 
don't print into the middle of other people's print jobs.
It is a very tiny program, less than 3/4 of a MB,
and it is free, not even ads.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Best deal for McAfee

McAfee Internet Security at $40 Discount!

McAfee Total Protection at $45 Discount!

This is a time limited promotion!


"Did your wife have much to say when you got home last
night?"

"No, but that didn't keep her from yelling for two hours."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Snow To Water Houseplants
Take advantage of snow to water houseplants! We have had 
an overabundance of snow this year. It dawned on me one 
evening that just outside my front door lay a wealth of totally 
FREE nutrients for my plants!

I went just outside the door with my coffee pot and a jumbo 
drink cup and scooped them both full of powdery snow! 
Then I sat the coffee pot onto the burner plate of the 
coffee maker so it could melt and also warm a little bit 
before watering my plants with it, so they wouldn't chill 
or shock.

While there is still plenty of snow on the ground, I should 
do this enough times to fill a couple clean empty milk 
jugs for more free nutrient rich water later!

By Melody_yesterday from Otterville, MO
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Melody_yesterday, whoever told you that
there are any nutrients in snow, lied to you.

Snow is distilled water, good for African Violets, but not
much more. 

Ground water, river or lake water has the minerals and metals, 
that the plants need. Snow has absolutely nothing but H2O, 
and possibly a little bit of pollution.

If you want nutrient rich water, use dirty, silty river water,
or the clear final overflow from a three or four stage septic
system.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these expensive
gloves?

A: Buy her a diamond ring.



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over
the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on College
Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
"Plowing has been completed. The six hundred and twenty-seven
students, who went to move 26 cars, can return to class now."






 »  One Big Traffic Jam

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---

Mideast Nation Names And Their Translations 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 04:09 PM -
Posted by Administrator

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---

Leave recovery partition  

Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 11:28 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Looks like all the professional demonstrators that we see at G8, G20 
and other big conferences, have arrived in Kairo. Between them
and the left-wing media, they make quite a racket, and seem to 
do a good job of inspiring the locals. 

The anti-Mubarak side still has not come up with any plans 
or specific demands, other than that Murbarak must go, and the
professional demonstrators trying to get chants going by yelling
"Kill Mubarak". 

It will be interesting there for a while!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



Few things help an individual more than to place
responsibility upon him, and to let him know that
you trust him.
--- Booker T. Washington

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows 
you're scared to death.
--- Earl Wilson


A drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for a few seconds
at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and
kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him. He immediately apologized
and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You
look exactly like her."

"Who would marry you you worthless, wretched, no good,
drunken bum?!" she screeched at him.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound like her."



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.

“I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at
least two weeks.”

“But I could be dead by then!”

“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the
appointment.”




Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Skyler A. Evans, 24, Coty D. Faulkenberry, 21, and 
Kyle A. Seimetz, 22, all of Lakeview, Arkansas

Burglars leave footprints in snow
Lakeview's chief of police, David Manley, said Saturday that 
three men were each charged with three felonies in connection 
with a commercial burglary at Lakeview in the early hours of 
Saturday morning.

Arrested later Saturday and charged with commercial burglary, 
theft of property, and felony criminal mischief, Manley said, were 
Skyler A. Evans, 24, Coty D. Faulkenberry, 21, and Kyle A. 
Seimetz, 22, all of Lakeview. They were jailed at the Baxter 
County Detention Center on $25,000 bond each. Both 
Faulkenberry and Seimetz were released Saturday. Evans 
remained in jail Sunday.

Manley said an alarm at the Lakeview business was activated 
about 4 a.m., and Baxter County Sgt. Mike Holland and Deputy 
Rocky Morrell responded to find the business' front door glass 
broken out. Manley was notified and responded as did Brad Hurst, 
a criminal investigator with the county sheriff's office.

After the initial investigation was completed at the business, 
officers began following tracks in the freshly fallen snow, 
which eventually led to the front door of the residence of 
one of the suspects, Manley said. Property taken from the 
business was recovered at the residence, according to 
Manley. 


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Jerome
Re: Leave the recovery partition

Dear Webby
You can tell her that unless she tells the formatter to 
delete the partition that the backup is on, it will still stay 
on and will only format and install whichever partition 
you keep. I often recommend that you leave the backup 
partition, because if it is under warranty, you must have 
that partition or they won’t honor the warranty 
(Especially HP- they are by far the worst). 
So just leave it, as it wont hurt and is only 10gb 
anyway.
Jerome

Dear Jerome
Great advice, as usual!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Best deal for McAfee

McAfee Internet Security at $40 Discount!

McAfee Total Protection at $45 Discount!

This is a time limited promotion!


A new secretary was confused about paying a bill,
so she asked me for some mathematical help.

"If I were to give you $23,540, minus 7%, how much would
you take off?" she asked me.

So I told her: "Everything but my glasses!"

Judging by how hard she threw the calculator at me, 
it seems that was not quite the answer she expected

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reusing Every Bit Of Jar Candles
I hate to waste and I love to burn scented jar candles. The 
candles say to only burn the wick down to a certain point, 
then dispose of the candle. Since these candles are not 
cheap, I don't want to throw away that much wax, so I 
ignored the directions and burned the candle all the way 
to the bottom.

Until the day I almost burned my house down. The jar 
was so hot that the glass broke, and the burning wax 
began to burn my coffee table. But I still don't want to 
throw away that much wax.

So here's a tip that I came up with. When the candle 
begins to get low, put the candle in an oven safe baking 
pan that has about 1/2 inch of water in the bottom. If the 
candle should break, the glass and wax will be contained 
within the baker and the water would immediately extinguish 
whatever fire may still be burning.

As a side note, if you would rather follow the directions, 
but still hate the thought of throwing that much wax away, 
take a knife and gently break up the remaining wax into 
small bits. Take some sort of mesh, like tulle, place the 
wax bits on top of the mesh and tie it up so that it looks 
like those wedding favors that are so popular. Or put 
them in closets, drawers, cabinets, etc for a lovely scent 
when you open the doors/drawers. Or save them to use 
for a wedding or baby shower or even a birthday.

By aprilcotton from Aurora, CO
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Burning jar candles down below the
mark is dangerous, even in a water pan. When that large 
flame is too deep down, it heats up the glass. If the water
has evaporated, the glass can melt all the wax and vaporize 
some. Then you have an explosion or flare. 

It is much safer to get cheap tea-light candles and drop
them into the jar. The flame will be shorter, but they are
very predictable and very safe. And very cheap.

You can even get scented wax and bees-wax honeycomb 
sleeves, that are sized for tealight candles. 
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Thanks to Marnie for this story:
While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store.
On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along
with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise.

One evening as the manager was leaving, I expressed my concern
to him about our safety, with just us two working alone at night.

"Oh, you'll be fine," he said, waving his hand.
"If you see anybody who looks suspicious, just warn him that
Susan knows karaoke."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen
lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited
patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without
even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a
hole in the ice ten feet from him.

The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he
hooked a Largemouth Bass.

The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain
luck. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another
large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish.

Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son, I've been
here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here
only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do
you do it?"

The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rowms rrarm."

"What was that?" the old man asked.

Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rowms rrarm."

"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying."

The boy spit the bait into his hand and said,
"You have to keep the worms warm!"






 »  Big Food

[ view entry ] ( 351 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 467 )

---

??? 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 03:07 PM -
Posted by Administrator

[ view entry ] ( 361 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 646 )

---

Humor: Recovery partition 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011, 01:18 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Why are the good anti-virus programs so expensive now?
A lot of people asked me about that lately.
"Kapersky is $90, McAfee is over $80, Norton just causes
problems, what is there, that is good and still affordable?"

Possibly they want to widen the gap to the free and ultra-cheap
programs. Possibly they need to pay for all the research 
needed to keep you safe.

I gave up trying to find the answer and instead looked 
for a better deal for you. It took a lot of time to find one
and set it up, but eventually I succeeded. 

Now YOU can get the best deal on McAfee on the net,
a $45 discount!

I didn't limit the discount to just subscribers. You can pass
the link on to friends and relatives.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



Children are unpredictable. You never know what
inconsistency they're going to catch you in next."
--- Franklin P. Jones

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake
at the moment.
--- Willis Player


On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple
had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting
outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake.
While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get
married in Heaven.

Saint Peter finally showed up and they asked him.

Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has
asked. Let me go find out." and he left. The couple sat and
waited for an answer ... for two months ... and they began
to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what
with the eternal aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck
together forever?"

Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get
married in Heaven."

"Great," said the couple, "but what if things don't work out?
Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"COME ON!" Peter shouted, "it took me THREE months to
find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it would
take me to find TWO lawyers AND a judge?"



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



Computer Bumper Snickers...

Don't make me use uppercase.

Get a Life?  
Cool!  Where can I download one of them from?

The truth is out there?  Does anyone know the URL?




Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Cody Wilkins, 25, in Silver Springs, MD

Charging phone leads to burglary suspect 
SILVER SPRING, Md. (UPI) -- Police in Maryland said a man who 
left his cellphone charging when he fled the scene of a burglary 
has been charged in 10 incidents. 

Investigators said Cody Wilkins, 25, was arrested after leaving 
his cellphone plugged into the wall in a Silver Spring home 
when he was surprised by the homeowner's son and fled 
through a window during a burglary Friday.

Wilkins was arrested and charged with 10 burglaries. 
Police said they believe he may have been involved in 
more than 42 burglaries involving jewelry thefts reported 
since Jan. 1. 

The suspect was taken to the Montgomery County jail 
in lieu of $1 million bond. 


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Wayne
Re: recovery partition

Dear Webby
Here's an off the wall question for you. I have read of your 
love for XP over Win 7 and I disagreed somewhat, but with 
my brand new dell laptop with 6GB ram and 350 GB h/d started 
acting up (specifically I.E. 8) I started thinking back to XP. 

Here's my question: IF I format the c drive and start over with 
my XP disc, I also lose the recovery partition from the factory. 
What is your answer/response/suggestion.
 
Wayne

Dear Wayne
Why on earth would you want to recover W7, after exorcising 
it off the computer?

You actually do the opposite. You make double-sure that W7 
Recovery partition is thoroughly nuked, so that you don't have 
to worry about problems leaking out of there into the XP set-up.

Once you have XP installed, you can make an extended partition, 
and partition that into virtual drives.

I set up C: as a very small drive, just for the operating system.
That makes it fast to do a virus scan or defrag and makes
Windows run faster.

D: is the CD

E: is for tools and programs
F: is for the stuff I produce with those programs.
G: is for queuing stuff for back-up to the external drive H:
H: is the external USB drive
I: is the USB camera chip reader (it acts like a drive)

Except for the CD and the chip reader, that is how I have 
set up my computers since DOS in the late 80's. 
CDs and memory chips had not been invented yet in those
days. That configuration works quite well for me.

Plan out your partitioning in advance. The first time you
do it, it may be a bit scary and not a good time to do any
long range planning.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Best deal for McAfee

McAfee Internet Security at $40 Discount!

McAfee Total Protection at $45 Discount!

This is a time limited promotion!


The good bishop knew very well that not only did everyone
in his small town look to him for an example, but that all
too often, all eyes were on him as potential fodder for
the local gossip mill, as well.

This could be wearing; but usually, he was able to provide
the good example and escape the tattlers. One night,
however, after a long, hard day, a social obligation
beckoned on top of his church responsibilities, and he
came to a sudden stopping place.

His hostess, noting that he looked tired, asked with
concern, "A spot of tea, Bishop?"

"No, thank you," he managed. "No tea."

"Ah," she said. "Coffee, then?"

"No coffee either, thank you."

In the spirit of conspiracy, she leaned closer and
murmured,
"I could bring you a scotch and soda in an opaque mug?"

"My dear, this is my last word: NO soda."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Plastic Lids for Moving Furniture
Keep all of your plastic lids. They are very handy to place 
under furniture when moving it around. They are slick so 
furniture will glide easily even on carpet and they will 
protect your wood or vinyl floors.

By Tricia from Ridgeway, VA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A rather Posh Lady was sauntering around an exclusive
London art gallery  when she stopped by one particular
exhibit.

"I suppose this picture of a hideous witch is what you
would call modern  art?" she sneered in a very pompous  manner.

"No, Ma'm," replied the gallery assistant,
"it's what we call a mirror."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner.
While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the
minister asked their son what they were having.

"Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure
about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Ma say to Pa:
'Let's have the old goat for dinner this Sunday.'"






 »  Ghastly Gowns

[ view entry ] ( 321 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 950 )

---

No Thanks 

Monday, February 7, 2011, 05:19 PM -
Posted by Administrator

A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Ontario. He presents a bottle of maple syrup to the manager as a gift.

"No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried maple syrup once and I didn't like it."

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manger out for a beer.

"No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried beer once, but didn't like it."

Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."

"No, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it."

Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Bill," says the plant manager.

"Let me guess," the sale rep replies. "An only child?"


[ view entry ] ( 330 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 1842 )

---

Invoice files take too much space 

Monday, February 7, 2011, 12:21 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, February 7, 2011

Egypt seems to be settling down. Even the Muslim Brotherhood,
not the biggest opposition party, but the media favorite, 
because they can be counted on to do something photogenic
and / or stupid, whenever they see somebody with a press badge, 
decided to sit down with Suleiman and talk. They couldn't bear 
the thought of the other opposition parties getting media coverage
and they weren't. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



"We start with gifts. Merit comes from what
we make of them."
--- Jean Toomer

"Every gift, though it be small, is in reality great
if given with affection."
--- Pindar


"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,"
little Johnny said to his uncle the first time he saw him after
the holidays.  "It's the best Christmas present I ever got."

"That's great," said his uncle.  "Do you know how to
play it?"

"Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow said.
"My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day
and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night.
And I am renting it out to Billy across the street for a dollar
a day. He gets TWO dollars a day for not playing it."



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



Fima bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty
4-Wheel drive vehicles."

"Oh, she did," he replied, "But where in the world was I going to
find a fake jeep for under $50!!"


Thanks to Dianne for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan got caught stealing again
Lindsay Lohan was accused Tuesday of stealing high-end jewelery, 
and cops issued a search warrant for her Venice Beach home. 
She got away and a friend of the actress turned the necklace, 
valued at $2500, in to the Pacific Division of the LAPD Tuesday 
night. Lt. Jeff Bert told RadarOnline.com, "If the LA county DA's 
office files charges, it could be grand theft which is a felony."

Now RadarOnline reports that a "surveillance video clearly shows 
Lindsay Lohan taking the (allegedly stolen) necklace from the store." 
Their source continued, saying, "Law enforcement believe the 
video will prove that the actress took the necklace, because it 
doesn't, at any point, show her paying for the item. It's the 
strongest evidence authories have against [her] ... 
If the video didn't exist, she wouldn't be in this precarious 
situation."

This isn't the first time Lohan has been accused of having 
sticky fingers. In 2007, she was accused of stealing $10,000 
worth of shoes and accessories from a former friend. Then 
in 2008, she "accidentally" grabbed an $11,000 blond mink 
coat from a New York club, then was later photographed in 
her impromptu loaner much to the chagrin of its rightful owner.

On the flip side of things, Lohan herself was burgled by the 
"Bling Ring" in 2008, and then testified to jurors that she felt 
"so violated and uncomfortable" not because of "the things 
that were taken, it was just the fact that someone came into 
the only private space that I have in my life at this point."

The troubled 24-year-old is still on probation after allegations 
from a Betty Ford clinic worker who claimed Lohan assaulted 
her. Further trouble with the law could definitely land the starlet 
back in court, and maybe even behind bars.

However, since California judges are usually rather lenient
with her type, the story may get changed to a "misunderstanding".


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Bretta
Re: Invoices take too much file space

Dear Webby
We save the doc files of all invoices, but they are beginning to
take up more space than I want to allocate for that. They take
over 200 KB each! Any tips?
Bretta

Dear Bretta
The smallest files would be HTML format. A typical invoice in
HTML format takes 2 - 3 KB per invoice.

With HTML you can use a common header and footer and
small print include files, that are used by each invoice, when 
it is displayed or printed or emailed. So all you actually store 
is what is different on a particular invoice.

Second best is to use a word processor that allows you to
merge in a boilerplate or header and footer at print time. That
way, similar to HTML,  the invoice only contains the parts that
are specific to that particular invoice. That takes about 10 KB
per invoice.

Third best is to convert your letterhead. Don't use pictures for
logos or anything else. At 200 KB you are obviously using
pictures for your logo or whatever. Use fancy fonts instead.
That reduces the file size to about 15 KB

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you have Windows 7, sooner or later you WILL need this!

Reset your Windows Password if you forgot or 
accidentally changed it. No need to re-install Windows
or an expensive service call, IF you can find a tech
willing to do it without calling the cops about a 
potentially stolen computer.

RoboForm is great, once you are booted up.
This program takes care of the boot-up password,
so that you CAN get to RoboForm and all your other
passwords. 

YOUR memory might be perfect, and YOU might never
make a mistake, but if somebody in your house is not
quite as perfect as you are, then better get the
Password Resetter



Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Father: That happens in every country, son.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Gift Idea: Photo Album For Valentine's Day
You don't have to spend a lot of money for a nice Valentine's 
gift. A few years ago my husband had to travel overseas and 
was going to be gone over Valentine's Day. Although we don't 
normally do much for each other on that day, I hated that he 
would be alone in a hotel. I took a small photo album (the kind 
you get for $1 at some discount stores), and I put photos of 
myself, our children, and close family and friends. I wrote on 
a piece of paper and stuck in the first slot 
"Happy Valentine's Day, from those of us who love you very 
much!" I put it in his brief case for him to find later. He was 
very pleasantly surprised with his very unique gift.

By Skeesics56 from NW Ohio
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

You can do the same thing on-line as well.
$2 gets you a site. Collect some pictures, poetry, stories, etc.
and write one or more pages with a word processor, that lets
you save the file in HTML format. Upload it, and it is done.
Then you just send them an email or Internet Postcard and
tell them the URL where their page is.

With minor re-writing, you can save the pages for a different 
person. Unless you tell them, the won't know, that you wrote
a similar page, with just the name different, for all your 
other lovers, ahem relatives.

If they appropriately appreciate it, you can update their
page for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc.

If you are interested, let me know!
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A preacher retired and moved to  the country to  enjoy life and
practice his hobby of yard work.  Needing a lawn mower, he
headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign
advertising a lawn mower for sale. He stopped at the house and
a young lad came out to greet him. The preacher asked about
the lawn mower and the kid said it was behind the house. 

The two went to look at the lawn mower. The engine was sputtering
along at idle speed. The preacher increased the speed of the
engine and mowed a few strips. Satisfied that the mower would
do the job they settled on a price of $75.00.

Later in the day, the young lad was riding his bicycle when he
spied the preacher pulling on the engine starter rope. The kid
stopped and watched for a couple of minutes. He asked,
"What's wrong?"

The reply came, "I can't get this mower started. Do you know
how?"
The kid said, "Yep."

"Well,  then how do you do it? Tell me!", the preacher yelled.

The kid replied, "You have to cuss at it."

The preacher rose up indignantly. "Now you listen here. I am a
preacher and if I ever did cuss, not saying I have, I've forgotten
how to do it after all these years."

With a wise look on his face , the kid said,
"Preacher, you keep on pulling  that rope and it'll all come
back to ya."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

The real world!
The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks:
"How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks:
"How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Social Science degree asks:
"Do you want fries with that?"






 »  Super Bowl Ads

[ view entry ] ( 238 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1879 )

---

Windows forces me to select a user 

Sunday, February 6, 2011, 12:05 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, February 6, 2011

Seems the US State Department is as far out of step with reality
as the White House. After Special Envoy Wisner, who was on
location and knows what is going on, suggested that Mubarak
should stay in office to oversee a controlled transition of power,
so that it would not be too chaotic, the State Department effectively
disowned him and said that was HIS opinion, not the position
of the US Government.

Which obviously does not have a clucking fue.

Ice cream parlors and food shops at and near Tahir square
are open and doing great business with the hordes of reporters
and celebrities. who want to be seen and photographed. The 
protest seems to have simmered down to about the level of a
Seattle SPCA protest or a San Francisco Gay Rights protest.

Right now it seems to be mostly young people trying to see 
what they can get away with, and a few older ones, desperately 
trying to outnumber the media.

Most of the opposition seems to have realized that they have
nobody to replace Mubarak and his people, and need time to
get organized. Mubarak's Judo move, 'you push, so I pull' 
of dumping the entire cabinet, got them rather scared. 
Who is going to do the work? Who KNOWS how to do the work?

In the meantime, there are over 70,000 people making a big
raket in Belgrade, Serbia. And Serbians are not as calm and
laid back as Egyptians.
Huh? 
I can just hear Obama complaining that nobody tells him nothing.
Where is Serbia anyway?
Didn't Bush have some kinda war over there?
What's going on over there?

Well, they got a bit too Socialistic and their economy got 
stuck.They have trouble getting more loans, and people are
hungry. The next election is not scheduled until 2012, and 
people feel they can't survive that long on what there is
available. 

It's too early to tell whether the current protest will turn as 
violent as previous ones, but as I am writing this, the 
riot police is in firm control, and some say the protest
is surprisingly civilized. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



A Navigator's Definition of Latitude & Longitude: 
Latitude is Where We are Lost, 
  & 
Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There! 
--- USAF Navi-guesser 

Did you ever see the customers in health-food store?
They are pale, skinny people who look half dead.

In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people.
They're dying, of course, but they look terrific!
--- Bill Cosby


Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only
a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the
very edge of the pool and throw them fish?



Permanent SMTP account.
Have you ever had problems sending email?
Every traveler has had problems with that, and most people
who use their business email address.
SMTP-To-Go solves all those problems. It works from anywhere
in the world, no matter what ISP you use, even from hotels
that block outgoing emails.

There is a free trial, where you can send up to 10 emails a day,
plenty to see how well it works.

For a very limited time, you can get a standard account 
for just $1.99.

There is no need to change your address 
or your email program, and you CAN use 5 different email
addresses. You simply SMTP-To-GoBypass the ISP, that is causing
you problems.



One day, Little Johnny visited a doctor for a vaccination.
After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage
around Johnny's arm.

"I think you'd better bandage around the other arm, doc!"
asked Little Johnny.

"But, why? I'm supposed to bandage around the injected
part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it."

"You really don't seem to have a clue about how kids 
behave!"


Thanks to Dianne for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to a parking valet in Montreal, Quebec

Montrealer caught doing 240
A 20-year-old man was pulled over in Montreal early Friday 
morning for allegedly driving more than three times the 
speed limit in a BMW sport utility vehicle.

Sgt. Genevieve Bruneau of the Surete du Quebec told CTV.ca 
the young man was clocked at 240 kilometres per hour, 
in a 70 km/h zone.

The man was travelling on Highway 720 at about 3 a.m. 
when he passed by police officers conducting a speed 
monitoring operation.

The driver pulled over as soon as police pulled out behind 
him, and came to a stop just before the entrance to the 
Ville Marie Tunnel.

Bruneau said police issued a ticket for $2,598, 
suspended the man's license and had the vehicle towed.

He also received 42 demerit points. After 15 points, 
drivers in Quebec are effectively unable to obtain 
or maintain a licence.

Bruneau would not confirm nor deny reports that the 
man works as a valet at a nearby hotel, however other
sources confirmed that.

Bruneau said new laws in Quebec allow police to double 
set fines and demerit points when excessive speeds 
are reached, such as in this case.
Officers are also able to immediately suspend the 
driver's license for seven days.

Police can impose even harsher penalties on a second offence. 


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Sharon
Re: Windows forces me to select a user

Dear Webby
Thanks again for your wonderful humor. It sure brightens a 
dull looking day. Thank you for taking time to share with us. 

I have a couple of curious questions: 
Something odd happened yestrday after I ran an antispyware 
run that has not happened before. I don't think this is due 
to that action but now when I restart or turn on my pc my 
"Welcome page" comes up  1st wanting me to log in. 
Luckily all I have to do is click on "owner" as I have 
never set a password for it. I went to conrol panel & 
opened "user accts".  Then I clicked on "change the 
way users log on or off" 

Then I noticed the "use the welcome screen" had a 
check mark next to it. I didn't do anything with it. Usually 
all I do is turn on the pc & my usual desktop comes up, 
not the welcome page. Should I uncheck that box to 
go back to my usual way? I am the only one who uses this pc. 

Another thing that happens is for some reason I have to go 
almost every day to my address book & change the view in it. 
I have it set to read names by alphabet w/ A -Z in the ascending 
order but it keeps changing to the descending order. 

Neither of these seem to be major issues just a nuisance. 
Any tips on how to correct them? 
I sure appreciate you help.
Have a purrfect day, 
Sharon  

Dear Sharon
Dear Sharon
With XP, if you have only one user, and no password set, 
it normally boots straight to the desktop.
If an intruder changed that, it's fairly easy to get THAT part 
back to normal:

Go to Start -> Run.
Copy and paste the following into the Open box:

control userpasswords2

Click OK.
In the "Users for this computer" box, click on the account you 
want to have logged on automatically.
Uncheck "Users must enter a user name and password to use this 
computer".
Click OK.
In the box that pops up, make sure the account you clicked on 
earlier is entered next to User Name.
Enter your password twice.
Note: You can leave the password box blank if the account does 
not have a password.
Click OK.
Reboot to see if you get the desired results.

If you prefer, you can download a Microsoft program called
TweakUI or PowerToys and configure it accordingly. 

While you are in there, you will also see who the mystery
alternate user is. Unless that is somebody you authorized
to go in and change the address book sort order and other stuff,
but forgot about it,
you might want to dump that alternate user.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you have Windows 7, sooner or later you WILL need this!

Reset your Windows Password if you forgot or 
accidentally changed it. No need to re-install Windows
or an expensive service call, IF you can find a tech
willing to do it without calling the cops about a 
potentially stolen computer.

RoboForm is great, once you are booted up.
This program takes care of the boot-up password,
so that you CAN get to RoboForm and all your other
passwords. 

YOUR memory might be perfect, and YOU might never
make a mistake, but if somebody in your house is not
quite as perfect as you are, then better get the
Password Resetter



Mother: "How's your history paper coming?"
Son:  "Well, dad suggested that I use the Internet for 
research and it's been very helpful.

Mother:  "Really?"

Son:  "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell them!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Disinfecting Wipes for Kitchen and Bath Clean Up
To keep my kitchen and bathrooms smelling fresh and germ free, 
I use Lysol disinfecting wipes. After doing the dishes and 
wiping the counters, tables and appliances, I go back over 
the counters, tables and appliances with a Lysol wipe. I 
also use a wipe to clean the stove hood. With a simple wipe, 
all the greasy build up comes off clean.

I do the same thing in the bathroom. After cleaning, I use 
a wipe and wipe everything down again. I keep a jug of the 
wipes on the toilet and after using it, the toilet gets wiped 
down with a wipe. Another jug is kept next to the sink for 
wiping it down after each use. Only takes a second or two 
and leaves it smelling nice and tackles the germs at the 
same time!

I buy the wipes at Dollar General, and lots of times I can 
even find them at the Dollar Tree. But even if I have to 
buy them at Wal Mart, they aren't too expensive. And it's 
a small price to pay for such a clean smelling room and 
to get rid of the germs!

By Cricketnc from Parkton, NC
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Do you realize, that your obsession with germs stymies and
de-trains your immune system?
The odd germs in low quantity are good training and updating
for your immune system, so that it CAN fight off germ based
illnesses. It is usually best to not get too fanatic with the 
anti-germ-warfare in the house.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is
smarter:
First woman:  My dog is so smart.  Every morning he
waits for a paper boy to come around and then he takes
a newspaper and brings it to me.

Second woman: Yes, I know.

First one:  Who told you ??

Second one:  My dog wrote about it on FaceBook.



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

The Navy Captain looked the crew over and said, "Men before
anything more is said, I would like to clear up one thing. This
isn't MY ship, this is YOUR ship."

From deep in the ranks came a voice: "Great!  Hey guys,
let's sell the silly old boat and have a PARTY!"






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