Quicken and Picasa for Linux
     
     
 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, February 28.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Chief Jim!
Thank you, Ron!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Illinois couple tried to stiff cabbie after sex in the cab Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1986 Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme was assassinated in Stockholm. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
No one can really pull you up very high-- you lose your grip on the rope. But on your own two feet you can climb mountains. --- Louis Brandeis
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

>From Glen autocorrect gone wrong A man received the following text from his neighbor: I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been 'tapping' your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again. The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: "Damn 'autocorrect'. I meant 'WIFI', not 'wife'.
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. "Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version This one bloomed today: Ripsalis-guenteri2
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Vukovich and Stefanie Herringer Couple Tried To Stiff Taxi Driver After Sex Session In Rear Of Illinois Cab Perhaps they thought the performance was payment enough. An Illinois cab driver recently called police to complain that a couple who had just finished having sex in the rear of his cab were refusing to pay the $83 fare. Hack Faisal Kokazeh, 28, told Orland Park Police Department officers that passengers Andrew Vukovich and Stefanie Herringer claimed they were unable to pay him at the conclusion of a recent 3:30 AM ride. Kokazeh noted that he “witnessed both Andrew and Stefanie perform intercourse in the back of the van,” and “simply wanted both of them out of the taxi, and the fare paid,” according to a police report. Vukovich and Herringer, an officer reported, smelled of booze and “were producing incoherent sentences, attempting to gather clothing that was strewn throughout the taxi.” And neither of them “had a purse or wallet on their person.” The couple, who had been driven by Kokazeh to Vukovich’s home, avoided arrest when Vukovich, seen above, “was able to obtain his mother’s credit card” to pay for the fare. Apparently he lives at his mother's place. Herringer, who police believed needed medical treatment "due to ... incoherent statements, inability to walk without assistance, constant change in emotion, and pale appearance," was treated at the scene, then transported to the police department until a relative could pick her up. Tech Support Pits From: Fred Re: Quicken on Linux Dear Webby, I bought a used Dell Optiplex760 without an operating system. I put Linux Mint15 and Opera on it. It does great on the web. I can't find a suitable replacement for Quicken (Deluxe98) and Picasa3. Is there a way around this without going to Windows? I would appreciate any help you can give me. Thanks, Fred Dear Fred You can use CodeWeaver's Crossover https://www.codeweavers.com/compatibility/browse/name/?app_id=10748 and install Quicken 2013. Most likely you can install your ancient 1898 version too. Picasa is a different story. Google has stopped supporting Picasa for Linux a couple of years ago. The Windoze version is still supported, but it would be a good idea to look for an alternative. There are plenty of those in Linux. If you HAVE to use Picasa, install it with WINE. Here is how to install it onto Mint15: Picasa onto Mint15 For those of you, who are not Penguins (Linux Fans), Mint15 is a popular flavor of Linux. Unlike with Microsoft, that dictates which operating system is good for their Asian computer factories, ahem, is good for you, There are hundreds of different "flavors" or versions of Linux, all of them free. Some versions like "Puppy" are so compact, that you can have it on a key fob thumb drive or camera chip. At the opposite end is CentOS, that is used on Millions of web servers. You probably have never visited a web site, that was not on a server powered by CentOS Linux. For home use, though, Mint15 is much friendlier. Ubuntu is also quite popular. If you consider trying Linux with a Live CD, without giving up Windows, find a Linux user in your area and start with whatever flavor she or he recommends. You can always experiment and try other flavors later. Most people do. But start with whatever your "mentor" uses. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Towel for a Makeshift Bib When you need to protect your clothing while eating, use a towel with binder clips as a "bib". Tie the ends of a lightweight cord or yarn, long enough to go around your neck plus a bit more, to two binder clips. Using a small towel or something of that nature, attach the binder clips to two corners and you have a quick "bib" for whenever you are eating something messy. Detach when done, wash the "bib" and either take apart the "bib" holder or put away for another time. I would use this for an older child. I don't know if it would be safe for a baby or toddler because of the metal clips. By Mkymlp from NE PA Electronic Test leads with alligator clips on each end work even better. They come in assorted bright colors ten per bag for less than a binder clip. And if they get left on accidentally and go through the wash and the dryer, they don't suffer and they don't make a racket and they don't damaage other items. Get the shortest ones they have at your electronics store. Have FUN! DerWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Chanow and his drinking buddy are sitting at a bar . See those guys over there ? Chanow says." I'm going over there and ask them what they think of Slobovians." Chanowki walks up to the two guys sitting at the other end of the bar and asks them what they think of Slobovians. One of the men gives Chanow the finger. The middle finger. Chanow then walks back to his drinking buddy. "Well , what do they think of Slobovians?'' he asks. "We're still number one , " replies Chanow.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Wife: I want to know if I have grounds for a divorce. Lawyer: Are you married? Wife: Yes, of course. Lawyer: Then you have grounds.
>From Dianne I was having trouble with my computer. So I called my friend Richard, the computer geek, to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "Yo, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T error? What's that .. in case I need to fix it again?" Richard grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote down. I D 1 0 T ....IDIOT.... I used to like Richard

» Hot Air Balloons

Today in 
1827 The Baltimore & Ohio Railroad became the first railroad 
 incorporated for commercial transportation of people 
 and freight.
1849 Regular steamboat service to California via Cape Horn 
 arrived in San Francisco for the first time. The SS California 
 had left New York Harbor on October 6, 1848. The trip took 
 4 months and 21 days.
1854 The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 
 50 slavery opponents began the new political group.
1893 Edward G. Acheson showed his patent for Carborundum.
1956 A patent was issued to Forrester for a computer memory core.
1974 The U.S. and Egypt re-established diplomatic relations 
 after a break of seven years.
1983 "M*A*S*H" became the most watched television program in 
 history when the final episode aired.
1986 Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme was assassinated 
 in Stockholm.
1993 U.S. Federal agents raided the compound of an armed 
 religious cult in Waco, TX. The ATF had planned to arrest 
 the leader of the Branch Davidians, David Koresh, on 
 federal firearms charges. Four agents and six Davidians 
 were killed and a 51-day standoff followed.
1994 NATO made its first military strike when U.S. F-16 
 fighters shot down four Bosnian Serb warplanes in violation 
 of a no-fly zone over central Bosnia.
1998 Serbian police began a campaign to wipe out "terrorist gangs" 
 in the Yugoslav province of Kosovo.
2014  smiled.


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XP fear mongering 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, February 27.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Floriduh teacher's Aide Jailed for Bottomless DUI Safari Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on TV that "Kuwait is liberated." Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent. --- Langston Coleman
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

>From Walter, the Stonecarver at http://stonecarver.com The current phone number for Obamacare (Obama's healthcare) now is 1-800-318-2596 which spells out 1-800-f1uckyo Not as naughty. Sorry about the misinformation yesterday!
He was on the bus where he normally gets his lunch stolen when he brought out a bottle that had what looked like small brown balls in it. He then, making sure no one was looking, secretly took from his pocket some milk duds and started popping them in his mouth, as obvious to the rest of the kids as possible, making yum yum noises. The bully, without asking, snatched the jar from Ken's hand and asked, "What's in the bottle that you are making such a big deal of?" "Well, they're smart pills." "Smart pills?" the bully asked, then opened the jar and popped a couple of the foreign brown balls in his mouth. "Pweeuuweppblahhh!!" he reacted. "What is this stuff? It tastes like rabbit turds!!" "Do you eat a lot of rabbit turds to be able to recognize them so quickly? Or are you getting smarter already?"
Thanks to Janina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Tropical flowers in Port Douglas, Australia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kristi Steuber, 41, Wesley Chapel, Floriduh Jailed for Bottomless DUI Safari Kristi Steuber, a 41-year-old teacher's aide at Paul R Smith Middle School, was jailed Saturday after she was allegedly caught driving drunk with no pants on. According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Steuber was stopped early Saturday morning when a deputy clocked her traveling 69 miles-per-hour in a 55-mph zone. When the deputy approached the driver's window and smelled the odor of alcohol, Steuber was asked to step out of the vehicle to complete a field sobriety test. That's when the deputy realized that Steuber was completely nude from the waist down. Steuber, according to the arrest affidavit, didn't realize that she had no pants on. Deputies pointed out her lack of clothing four times before she finally understood what they were saying and put some pants on. Steuber's blood alcohol level was measured at 0.135 and 0.137 after failing a field sobriety test. She was booked into the Pasco County Jail and charged with DUI. Tech Support Pits From: Darla Re: XP fearmongering Dear Webby, I wrote to you back in January regarding the no support issue for XP after April 8th. I’ve been reading more info & getting more confused. I have a couple of question’s to ask you because I don’t want to have to buy a new computer right now. If I keep my old computer with XP & continue to use Internet Explorer & Outlook Express (Also use Kasperksy) will I be ok from Hacker's etc ? Or would I be any safer using Chrome as my default browser while still using Outlook Express ? A employee at a "store" that sells computers said I could keep XP and change to Chrome and still be able to use Outlook Express for my mail. Thank you so much for your time, Darla Dear Darla Your XP with Kasperski and IE and Outlook Express will continue to function as usual. Just because you are cute and sexy, that does not mean the hackers will stop trying to break into banks and government, and suddenly focus on you. Keep in mind that industry and commerce uses 55% Linux and 45% XP. The ones that use XP all have a Linux "Live CD' in a drawer and can switch to Linux in minutes. All the store POS (Point Of Sale) machines run fine on Linux, but nobody in their right mind would try to run them on W7. For W7 and W8 they would have to replace the machines. While that would delight Microsoft and their Asian computer manufacturing businesses, industry and commerce does not consider that a justifiable business expense, not when everything runs just fine on XP or Linux. Any hostile action by Microsoft against XP users will just drive Industry and Commerce to Linux. So, don't panic about the sales hype. Outlook Express is on Death Row. It would probably be a good idea to start getting used to an email program, that is viable. I still use Eudora, and have since 1993. The modern version of it, using the source code of it, is Thunderbird. I have never heard anything bad about it. You might want to look at Thunderbird and get familiar with it. The major difference between Eudora and Thunderbird is that Thunderbird has a Linux version. That way, if you some day have to replace your XP when it dies of old age, and you get fed up with W8 and switch to Linux, you are already comfortable with the email program. The same goes for browsers. FireFox is the same on Windows and Linux. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Toothbrush In Cabinet We have all heard keeping a toothbrush in the vicinity of a flushing toilet is not good, as it can catch what sprays into the air, ick! So, all it takes is a wood bathroom cabinet and cup hooks, problem easily solved. By linda h. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down out- side the operating room where another golfer who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated. "Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer. "No," replied the man, "That's my ball!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Casey When I was a child my family used to sometimes take our vacations, in British Columbia. In those days all Canadians appreciated their American neighbors. We had a favorite place to visit, mostly because of the fine fishing. It was at a Lake that was about 30 miles long and a 1/2 mile wide. While we were around our campfire in the evening the local Indians would go from camp to camp selling their wares. They would also tell of the Legends of the area. This one Legend always stuck in my mind. It seemed that on this particular Lake two Indian Tribes made their homes. They were, however, at War, with one another from years before. There was an Indian Maiden in one Camp who was in love with a young Brave in the other Camp. They used to stand, on the shore, each on their respective side of the Lake, and chant Indian love calls to each other...even though they were warned by their Chiefs that nothing could ever come of it. One day they just could not stand being apart any longer. That evening, on a cold Fall night, they each jumped into the Lake and swam towards each other in the Moonlight. When they reached each other in the center of the Lake, they embraced and eventually froze to death. This act so im- pressed the Brave's Tribe that they named the Lake after the young man. I will never forget those wonderful vacations that we spent at "Lake Stupid".
THESE ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS: Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species. Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards. The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers. The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation. The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours. To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle. When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier. For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose. For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead. When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

» Tiny Shacks:

Today in 
1700 The Pacific Island of New Britain was discovered.
1801 The city of Washington, DC, was placed under 
 congressional jurisdiction.
1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration.
1861 In Warsaw, Russian troops fired on a crowd protesting 
 Russian rule over Poland. Five protesting marchers were 
 killed in the incident.
1867 Dr. William G. Bonwill invented the dental mallet.
1883 Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling 
 machine.
1896 The "Charlotte Observer" published a picture of an 
 X-ray photograph made by Dr. H.L. Smith. The photograph 
 showed a perfect picture of all the bones of a hand and 
 a bullet that Smith had placed between the third and 
 fourth fingers in the palm.
1900 In South Africa, the British received an unconditional 
 surrender from Boer Gen. Piet Cronje at Paardeberg.
1933 The Reichstag, Germany's parliament building in Berlin, 
 was set afire. The Nazis accused Communist for the fire.
1939 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes.
1949 Chaim Weizmann became the first Israeli president.
1951 The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified, 
 limiting U.S. Presidents to two terms.
1973 The American Indian Movement occupied Wouned Knee in 
 South Dakota.
1981 Chrysler Corporation was granted an additional $400 million 
 in federal loan guarantees. Chrysler had posted a loss of 
 $1.7 billion in 1980.
1986 The U.S. Senate approved the telecast of its debates 
 on a trial basis.
1990 The Exxon Corporation and Exxon Shipping were indicted 
 on five criminal counts in reference to the 1989 Exxon 
 Valdez oil spill.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on TV
 that "Kuwait is liberated."
1997 In Ireland, divorce became legal.
1998 Britain's House of Lords agreed to give a monarch's 
 first-born daughter the same claim to the throne as any 
 first-born son. This was the end to 1,000 years of male 
 preference.
2002 In Boston, twenty people working at Logan International 
 Airport were charged with lying to get their jobs or 
 security badges. 
2014  smiled.


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How to delete redundant mailboxes in Eudora 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, February 26.

In spots that are sheltered from the wind, the sun has
already quite noticeable warmth, even at -26.
With the hood up, back to the wind, face to the sun, 
it is actually quite pleasant. 
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Floriduh woman called 911 twice for sex Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 - In Oregon, a health panel rules that taxpayers must help to pay for doctor-assisted suicides. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. --- Bill Cosby (1937 - ) Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

>From Tom The phone number for Obamacare (Obama's healthcare) is 1-800-382-5968 or 1-800 Fuck You Very thoughtful of them to pick a number, that is easy to remember!
Thanks to Kati for this story: People frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had an Obama bumper sticker. I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
Thanks to Janina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Tropical flowers in Port Douglas, Australia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Maria Montanez-Colon, 58, Punta Gorda, Floriduh Floriduh woman called 911 twice for sex A Florida woman who described herself as “horny” was arrested Friday after calling 911 to summon a police officer to her home, where she aggressively pawed and propositioned him and announced, “I haven’t been penetrated in years.” Maria Montanez-Colon, 58, initially called police Friday night regarding a family dispute over ownership of a Corvette that belonged to her late husband (who she said was a former New York Police Department officer). When a Punta Gorda Police Department cop arrived at her residence, a tipsy Montanez-Colon began hitting on him, according to a police report. Pictured above, Montanez-Colon reportedly told Officer Justin Davoult, “You are so sexy,” and asked about his marital status. She also announced, “I haven't been penetrated in years,” and “I am so horny.” Davoult, 31, noted that, “I asked her what I could help her with and she stated ‘You can fuck me.’” In addition to the verbal come-ons, Montanez-Colon allegedly tried to rub the cop’s chest and grab his arm. After Davoult told Montanez-Colon that her behavior was inappropriate, she stated, “I’m bad, I know.” Less than an hour after Davoult departed her home, Montanez-Colon again called 911, announcing that the cop had “pissed her off” and she “wanted to see another officer.” Davoult and a police lieutenant responded to the emergency call. Montanez-Colon told the lieutenant that Davoult had been “a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to fuck me, he turned me down so that made me angry.” When Davoult then asked Montanez-Colon whether she recalled their prior conversation about misuse of the 911 system, she answered, “I do, but how else am I going to get you to fuck me?” Montanez-Colon was then arrested for making false 911 calls, a misdemeanor, and booked into the Charlotte County jail, where she remains locked up. Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Delete redundant mailboxes in Eudora Dear Webby, Per your recommendation I've been using Eudora for a number of years. I've set up numerous mailboxes to retain information. I would like to delete some of those mailboxes but cannot figure out how to do it. I've searched Eudora 'help', and FAQ's to no avail. I've deleted all the mail in the mailboxes but cannot delete the box from my listing. Peace Frank Ark City Dear Frank Click on TOOLS Mailboxes highlight an obsolete mailbox hit Delete You will get a little warning pop-up telling you, that it will be permanent and not reversible, Hit OK. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Vacuum To Clean Vacuum Filter I own a vacuum cleaner that has a dust bin instead of using a bag. It contains a cylindrical fluted filter which is rather difficult to clean. I usually clean by banging it on a cement wall outside. However, we have so much snow this winter here in ND, there is no good place to do this outside. What to do...? I solved the problem by vacuuming the filter using my upstairs vacuum cleaner. This worked so well that I won't go back to doing it outside any more. The upstairs vacuum cleaner has a sponge-like filter and I can clean that one with my downstairs vacuum cleaner. I believe I will also clean the fluted filter on my Dustbuster that way. By Judy from Valley City, ND For health considerations, the filters should be blown off in a reverse direction, outside. Many vacuum cleaners have an air outlet, where you can plug a hose in to use as a blower. You don't need compressed air for that or a leaf blower, just any old vacuum cleaner, that has an Air-OUT fitting for the hose. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda..."The Apostles were in one Accord."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

That reminds me of this story: A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut; then we'll talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said, "Son, I'm really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didn't get your hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and then replied, "You know dad, I've been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went."
Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the only male to venture a number. "Looks like 9 pounds," he offered confidently. "This must not be your first," I said. "Oh, yes," he said. "It's my first." "Then how would you know the weight of a baby?" I asked. He shrugged. "I'm a fisherman."

» Butterflies

Today in 
1815 - Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from the Island of Elba. 
 He then began his second conquest of France.
1848 - The second French Republic was proclaimed.
1870 - In New York City, the first pneumatic-powered 
 subway line was opened to the public.
1907 - The U.S. Congress raised their own pay to $7500.
1916 - Mutual signed Charlie Chaplin to a film contract.
1919 - In Arizona, the Grand Canyon was established as a 
 National Park with an act of the U.S. Congress.
1929 - U.S. President Coolidge signed a bill creating the 
 Grand Teton National Park.
1930 - New York City installed traffic lights.
1933 - A ground-breaking ceremony was held at Crissy Field 
 for the Golden Gate Bridge.
1945 - In the U.S., a nationwide midnight curfew
1952 - British Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced 
 that Britain had developed an atomic bomb.
1986 - Corazon Aquino was inaugurated president of the 
 Philippines. Long time President Ferdinand Marcos 
 went into exile.
1987 - The Tower Commission rebuked U.S. President Reagan for 
 failing to control his national security staff in the wake 
 of the Iran-Contra affair.
1987 - The U.S.S.R. conducted its first nuclear weapons test 
 after a 19-month moratorium period.
1991 - Iraqi President Saddam Hussein announced on Baghdad Radio 
 that Iraqi troops were being withdrawn from Kuwait.
1993 - Six people were killed and more than a thousand injured 
 when a van exploded in the parking garage beneath the World 
 Trade Center in New York City. The bomb had been built by 
 Islamic extremists.
1998 - A Texas jury rejected an $11 million lawsuit by Texas 
 cattlemen who blamed Oprah Winfrey for price drop after 
 on-air comment about mad-cow disease.
1998 - In Oregon, a health panel rules that taxpayers must 
 help to pay for doctor-assisted suicides.
2009 - Former Serbian president Milan Milutinovic was acquitted 
 by the International Criminal Tribunal for the former 
 Yugoslavia regarding war crimes during the Kosovo War.
2009 - The Pentagon reveresed its 18-year policy of not 
 allowing media to cover returning war dead. The reversal 
 allowsd some media coverage with family approval.
2014  smiled.


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FLV Player 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, February 25.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Arizona man, who tried a jail break to see his girlfriend Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1919 The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Who is more busy than he who hath least to do? --- John Clarke Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real. --- Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999)
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

Jackie and her husband were foster parents years ago. At one point they had a 4-year-old girl they were quite attached to. Jackie thought she had done a good job in teaching her manners, good behavior, etc. So when the 4-year-old said to her one day, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!" Jackie's heart swelled with pride... until the 4-year-old finished her sentence... "so that I can reach the @#$% light switch by myself!"
When Amanda's son was 6, they were going to Amanda's mother's house where he was going to spend the night. He had been playing on Amanda's nerves the entire day and finally, right before they pulled into Amanda's mother's driveway, she put the standard "mother's curse" on him, saying, "When you grow up, I hope you have a child just like you." He looked at Amanda with big crocodile tears in his eyes and said, "Gee, Mommy, I thought you wanted me to be happy!"
Click on the picture for the large version Early Jasmin As you can see all the buds. This hedge has just begun to bloom. Its fragrance is fantastic ~~ Just sharing. Lillemor...
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Andrew Dekenipp, 40, Arizona man tried a jail break to see his girlfriend An Arizona jail inmate who escaped by climbing two walls and crawling through razor wire and was reportedly meeting his sweetheart on Valentine's Day is back in custody. The Pinal County Sheriff's office says in a release that inmate Joseph Andrew Dekenipp was arrested in the town of Coolidge, a few hours after he escaped Friday from the county detention center. The office says he would undergo treatment for serious cuts he got from the wire. The Arizona Republic reports that the 40-year-old Dekenipp was arrested without incident after he arrived at a saloon and grill where he was to meet his girlfriend. Dekenipp has been in jail since his arrest Jan. 10 on suspicion of vehicle theft, trafficking in stolen property, unlawful flight, and driving on a suspended license. Officials say he is now facing an escape charge. Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: FF player Dear Webby, Hope this finds you in good health and good cheer. I have another question for you dealing with a download. I was in a website that i have been visiting for years now,a radio station one and something happened that has never happened before. I got need to download a FLV player. Well that is a new one on me so i went searching and now i am more confused about it than when i started this search. Do i need to download a FLV player? I read where it stated on my search that it is needed to play videos from YouTube but i was on there to check out the story and it still works as normal...should i get the feeling my leg is getting pulled or what? I will await your response before i proceed with any downloading the FLV player? Thanks in advance. Randall Dear Randall FLV is an obsolete format, mostly because it is unsuitable for mobile devices. Adobe stopped making updates to it about four years ago. Just like there are still hard cover paper books around, there are still some Flash movies around, and there are still tons of flash players available on the Internet. Be careful, though! Many of them come with a nasty payload of malware, trojans and viruses. I would recommend that you get a player from a reputable company like REAL, that has been around for a long time. Here is a link to their download page: Real Player Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Bleach to Clean Jacuzzi Jets I was surprised that folks do not realize that the "black stuff" in the Jacuzzi tub jets is black mold! There is no need to scrub. Simply fill the tub with water and then add a half gallon of household bleach. Turn on the pump and let it run for an hour. Turn off the pump and let the bleach water stand overnight. In the morning, put on a rubber glove and pull the plug to drain the tub. You must do this at least once per month. I have been using this method for thirteen years and my tub is fresh and clean. No black mold and no tub damage. By Julia Marie K. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she got home she asks her husband, "What is a specimen?" He replies," Heck if I know. Go next door and ask Edith. She's a nurse." The woman goes next door and comes back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body. "What in the world happened?" asked her husband. "Damned if I know," she replies. "I asked Edith what a specimen was, and she told me to go piss in a bottle. I told her to go shit in her hat, and then all hell broke loose!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Regina My 20th high school class reunion was held at a hotel on the same night that another school's 10th-year reunion was taking place. While my girl friends and I were in the rest room talking, some unfamiliar women entered. After their stares became uncomfortable, we turned toward them. One of the women said, "Don't mind us. We just wanted to see how we'd look in another 10 years."
>From Rolly I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his ancient Maserati sports car. He had just driven it from Ohio, and as he pulled into my driveway, the car broke down. Calls to auto-supply houses and garages in search of re- placement parts proved futile. The 1962 model was simply too rare. Responses ranged from "Mas-a-what?" to "You've got to be kidding." One guy just laughed. I was at the end of the listings in the Yellow Pages when I dialed Victor's Garage. "Vic," I said, "you're my last hope. Do you carry any parts for a 1962 Maserati?" There was a long pause. Finally, Victor cleared his throat. "Yes," he replied. "Oil."

» Polar Bear Luv:

Today in 
1570 England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by 
 Pope Pius V.
1836 Samuel Colt received a patent for a "revolving gun".
1901 The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. 
 Morgan.
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was 
 ratified. It authorized a graduated income tax.
1919 The state of Oregon became the first state to place 
 a tax on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon.
1933 The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the 
 first ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from 
 the keel up as an aircraft carrier.
1948 Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia.
1972 Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorist 
 who had hijacked a jumbo jet.
1986 Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the Philippines 
 after 20 years of rule after a tainted election.
2005 Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings in 
 Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 
 10 life terms in prison.

2014  smiled.


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What to do about 419 scams? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, February 24.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Philadelphia assclown who pretended to be an armed robber Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1956 The city of Cleveland invoked a 1931 law that barred people under the age of 18 from dancing in public without an adult guardian. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible. --- W. H. Auden (1907 - 1973) This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. --- George Burns (1896 - 1996)
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

Robert and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. Though both of them found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Robert. "I thought it was tough at first.... then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," Pete said. "But I wrote down Horticulturist."
A frantic guy runs out of a Las Vegas hotel and says to a stranger, "Buddy, please, can you loan me a hundred bucks? My wife had a terrible accident and I need to get her to the hospital." The stranger says, "If you so desperately need a hundred dollars, what are you doing in a casino?" The guy replies, "Oh, I've got gambling money."
Thanks to dad for this picture. This one bloomed today. Click on the picture for the large version Ripsalis Guenteri
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daron Stinson, 21, Philadelphia Assclown jailed for acting like an armed robber A Philadelphia man is jailed on a variety of felony charges after uploading Instagram videos showing him pointing what appeared to be a handgun at a series of terrified victims. According to investigators, Daron Stinson, 21, and an accomplice drove around filming themselves as they accosted pedestrians. Those clips were then uploaded to Stinson’s Instagram page (“funniestnphilly”), which portrays Stinson (seen above) as a prankster and wannabe comedian/actor. Tech Support Pits From: Linda Re: What to do about a scam? Dear Webby, My friend shared your today's message with me. Delightful. She also suggested you might be able to answer a question for me. This morning I received a spam message from "someone" purporting to be "An American Soldier" but really it was spam (i.e. discovered some money in Iraq and needed help, etc.). It made me angry. Is there anyone I can send this spam message to and they can stop it?? Thank you. Linda Dear Linda That's just a 419 scam, also called "Nigerian scam" or "Advance Fee scam", and it has been going around since the first Iraq war. Unless you are willing to travel to Nigeria and take the law into your own hands, about all you can do is send it to the US Secret Service. The Secret Service is not really doing anything about it, even though this scam costs Americans over 100 Million Dollars a year, but apparently they draw up neat charts showing how many more people fall for that same old scam each year. Just dump it and forget it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Dog Bone As a Foot Massager I saw the tip about exercising a bad back/leg/foot with a Pringles can and had to tell you my discovery. I had one of those leg problems and found that if I rolled a rubber nubby dog bone shaped toys under my foot, it not only relieved my leg pain but gave my foot a massage! They can be found in any pet dept and are inexpensive too! Source: My own discovery! By Terry R from Goodsprings Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
My 2 1/2-year-old niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to a Catholic church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, "God will get you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see his doctor. The doctor asked him all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when the veterinarian interrupted him, saying, "Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions. I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?" The doctor nodded, looked him up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to him and said, "There you are. Of course, if *that* doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had a great idea! They could sit on top of the boulders and get a better view of their wives working. This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ulti- mately led to television...and later to the remote control.

» Unbelievable Earth Facts

Today in 
1803 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled itself to be the final 
 interpreter of all constitutional issues.
1839 Mr. William S. Otis received a patent for the 
 steam shovel.
1863 Arizona was organized as a territory.
1903 In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the 
 U.S. for a naval base.
1925 A thermit was used for the first time. It was used 
 to break up a 250,000-ton ice jam that had clogged 
 the St. Lawrence River near Waddington, NY.
1938 The first nylon bristle toothbrush was made. It was 
 the first time that nylon yarn had been used commercially.
1942 The U.S. Government stopped shipments of all 12-gauge 
 shotguns for sporting use for the wartime effort.
1945 During World War II, the Philippine capital of Manilla, 
 was liberated by U.S. soldiers.
1956 The city of Cleveland invoked a 1931 law that barred 
 people under the age of 18 from dancing in public 
 without an adult guardian.
1987 An exploding supernova was discovered in the Large 
 Magellanic Cloud galaxy.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a $200,000 award to 
 Rev. Jerry Falwell that had been won against "Hustler" 
 magazine. The ruling expanded legal protections for 
 parody and satire.
1989 Iran’s Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini sentenced Salman 
 Rushdie to death for his novel "The Satanic Verses". 
 A bounty of one to three-million-dollars was also put 
 on Rushidie's head.
1989 A United Airlines 747 jet rips open in flight killing 
 9 people. The flight was from Honolulu to New Zealand.
1997 The U.S. The Food and Drug Administration named six 
 brands of birth control as safe and effective "morning-after" 
 pills for preventing pregnancy.
2008 Cuba's parliament named Raul Castro president. His 
 brother Fidel had ruled for nearly 50 years.
2014  smiled.


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Spam Epidemic 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, February 23.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to two Teenagers Charged In Slaying Of Jail Guard Amanda Baker Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 200 feet over an oncoming train. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer. --- From the 1985 movie "Bliss"
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

A man bought several acres of wasteland and within a year, turned it into a thriving produce farm. The local pastor stopped by and complimented the man on his vast progress. Then he added, "Wondrous things can surely happen when man and God work together." "Amen," said the man, "but you should've seen the place when God was running it alone."
A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float? The father replied, "Don't right know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't right know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father repied. "Don't right know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" The father repied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dylan Cardeilhac, 15, Guy Eagle Elk, 16 Teenagers Charged In Slaying Of Jail Guard Amanda Baker Two teenagers are facing adult felony charges after a 24-year-old guard at a western Nebraska jail was strangled in a cell on Valentine's Day. Scotts Bluff County Attorney Doug Warner said Thursday in a news release that 16-year-old Guy Eagle Elk, of Lisco, has been charged as an adult with felony aiding and abetting assault. On Wednesday, 15-year-old Dylan Cardeilhac, of Torrington, Wyo., was charged as an adult with first-degree murder in the death of Amanda Baker. The two teens were being held in a juvenile section of the Scotts Bluff County Detention Center in Gering, just east of the Wyoming border, when Baker was attacked. Cardeilhac was being held on charges of armed robbery and use of a weapon in a Dec. 3 convenience store robbery in nearby Mitchell. He also was charged as an adult in that case, according to online court documents. Eagle Elk had been convicted as a juvenile of shoplifting, according to the Scottsbluff Star-Herald. Jail security video shows Cardeilhac talking Baker into checking something on his cell floor on Friday, then pouncing on the guard when she turned her back, according to an arrest affidavit. Authorities have said the video shows that Baker was strangled for more than 2 1/2 minutes. Baker, the mother of a 6-year-old boy, was taken to a local hospital, where she died. An arrest affidavit for Eagle Elk says investigators say he advised Cardeilhac to choke a jailer into submission after Cardeilhac told other inmates that he wanted to escape. The affidavit says Eagle Elk suggested Cardeilhac attack Baker, because she would be an easier target. The older teen then showed Cardeilhac through windows of door cells the best way to apply a choke hold, the affidavit says. Tech Support Pits From: Ruby Re: Spam Epidemic Dear Webby, Have you noticed that there is a real spam epidemic going on? 90% of my mail is spam, and it's driving me nuts! How does a company like yours deal with it? And why isn't anybody doing something about it? Ruby Dear Ruby No, I haven't noticed that. You see, I live a very simple and sheltered life. One of my shelters is MailWasher. I just see the 120 - 200 mails a day that I need to see and answer. I don't really give a hoot about how or which way Mailwasher dumps the other 4800 - 5000 spams every day, but I know that they are reported to the FireTrust spam database. The reason nobody in the US is doing anything against spam is because the spammers bought your Senate and financed the CAN SPAM act, and so they are nicely protected. US law protects the spammers and you get fined if you try to fight them. MailWasher also can be set to automatically report spam to SpamCop. SpamCop then informs the ISP about one of their clients spamming. If the ISP is a major spammer in Russia, that doesn't do much, but in a lot of cases the spammer is some clueless PC user with an infected machine, which is used by the Russian mega spammers. In those cases, the ISP can contact their client and tell them that they are cut off until they run a proper virus scan. Mamny ISPs react quite fast, because the spam and the bounces constipate their system. Unless you can rent more senators than the spammers have, all I can recommend is that you get MailWasher, and let it nuke the spam right on the server and not let it bother you. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hide Extra Key in Purse If you happen to accidently lock your keys in your car, just hide an extra key in your purse and use that one. Works every time! By cowgirldiva Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check. The mugger said dumbfounded, "A check? Why would I take a check from you? I don't even know you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do... (especially when you share the same major!) PSYCHOLOGY Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his Mother. SOCIOLOGY Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship. ARCHAEOLOGY One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying to dig it up. THEATRE "OH! Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!" BIOLOGY "You just wanted to get in my genes!" PHYSICS Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must come down. JOURNALISM "Today was the end of an era. Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..." WOMEN'S STUDIES "HE did it!" BUSINESS Both decide that they're spending way too much money together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single. HISTORY Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the other party did in the past. GEOGRAPHY Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each other. ANATOMY "I never liked your body anyway." ECONOMICS One party demands more than the other can supply.
Thanks to Rosie for this story: My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started." Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented, "I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you." I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair. "Yeah," he said smiling slyly. "All the girls do."

» How Wolves Change Rivers

Today in 
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots.
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden.
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded 
 in Waltham, MA.
1820 The Cato Street conspiracy was uncovered.
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began.
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista 
 in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary.
1861 U.S. President-elect Abraham Lincoln arrived secretly 
 in Washington to take his office after an assassination 
 attempt in Baltimore.
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union.
1870 The state of Mississippi was readmitted to the Union.
1883 Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an 
 antitrust law.
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum.
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake 
 that killed about 2,000.
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield.
1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, 
 "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism 
 and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus.
1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa 
 between the Boers and the British army.
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone 
 for $10 million.
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law.
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini.
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, 
 hours of operation and power allocations for radio 
 broadcasters. 
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island.
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released.
1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the 
 U.S. Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. 
 A photograph of these Marines raising the American 
 flag was taken.
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against 
 polio began in Pittsburgh, PA.
1963 The 24th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was 
 ratified. It prohibited poll taxes in federal elections.
1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a 
 military coup.
1970 Guyana became a republic.
1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million 
 more for the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been 
 kidnapped on February 4th.
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's 
 new parliament would have to decide the fate of the 
 hostages taken on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran.
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed 
 the border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. 
 Less than four days later the war was over due to the 
 surrender or withdraw of Iraqi forces.
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against 
 his parents.
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and 
 damaged and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses.
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty 
 of kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged 
 behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas.
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 200 
 feet over an oncoming train.
2014  smiled.


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Red X instead of pictures 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, February 22.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Teacher jailed for messing with a 15 year old Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger. --- Dan Rather (1931 - )
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

At the scale manufacturers' convention, people often wanted to weigh themselves on different scales to see if they agreed. However, some visitors abstained, not wishing to advertise their weight. A smooth-talking representative coaxed a woman onto his scale by promising her that he would not look and that she could even cover the digital display so only she could see her weight. She finally stood on the scale, whereupon a loud, robo-voice from within the machine announced: "One hundred and ninety seven pounds."
They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went. The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer and communion times went quite well,but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground." The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!"
Click on the picture for the large version Vermillion Cliffs from above and behind
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Mason, 30, Calgary, AB Teacher jailed for messing with 15 year old Jennifer Mason, a 30-year-old teacher at Our Lady of the Assumption Elementary School, has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with a 15-year-old student. According to Calgary Police, an investigation was launched last November after police received an anonymous tip regarding suspicious activity inside a vehicle that was parked in northwest Calgary. Officers arrived on the scene to find Mason involved in an inappropriate relationship with a 15-year-old student who attends the same Catholic school. A subsequent investigation revealed that Mason and the b oy had been involved in a sexual relationship from August until police caught them in November. The school conducted it's own investigation once the allegations came to light and has since suspended the teacher pending the outcome of the case. Mason was booked into jail and charged with sexual assault of a minor, sexual interference of a minor, sexual exploitation by a person in a position of trust and invitation to sexual touching. She was released after posting $5,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Dianne Re: Flags not showing Dear Webby, The flags on the flag counter are not showing, only a big red X. Please fix it! Dianne Dear Dianne The flag counter is in Europe, somewhere. There is nothing I can do to "fix it". If you don't see the flags, then there is a connectivity problem between them and you. It is probably just temporary and will get fixed soon. Friend Jorcha has a different problem. He uses Gmail and whenever Gmail chooses to use a banner that advertises stuff, that I write about, then they apparently censor ad pictures I have on that topic. Malwarebytes on the top right in the side menu is a good example. When that happens, just go to the online copy at http://webby.com/humor and you will see the uncensored version. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Placemats as Modern Furniture "Doilies" They used to put doilies at points of wear on chairs and sofas. For a modern take on that, I use tapestry placemats to put on the edges of an easy chair where the arms have gotten dirty and worn. (On another chair I use some pillow covers I found.) You can tuck these into the space between the chair and the cushion to anchor them, or even secure by spraying adhesive and gluing the mats down. It makes the chair covers wear that much longer, and are a colorful addition to your decor. By pam munro Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Mel There was a Scot, American, and a Iraqui in a plane on fire and about to crash. There were no parachutes and the only exit was to jump from 49,000 feet high. As the Scottish jumped he yelled, "God save me!" and landed safely in a haystack. When the American jumped he also yelled, "God save me!" and landed safely in another haystack. The Iraqui wasn't good at his English and when he jumped he yelled, "God shave me!", and went splat on the roof of a barber shop.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Judy goes to get her hair cut. The hairstylist cuts for about thirty minutes, hands Judy a mirror, and asks, "How do you like it?" Judy says, "It's nice, but could you make it just a little longer in the back?"
Lola is on the phone, "Hello? Pizza Shack? Do you have anything on special?" From the other end of the line comes, "Yeah, our veggie haters delight. It has twelve kinds of meat and five different cheeses. Lola asks, "Does anything come with that?" "A coupon for the gym."

» Best Pix out of Singapore

Today in 
1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists 
 at their first Thanksgiving dinner.
1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States.
1855 The U.S. Congress voted to appropriate $200,000 for 
 continuance of the work on the Washington Monument. The 
 next morning the resolution was tabled and it would be 
 21 years before the Congress would vote on funds again. 
 Work was continued by the Know-Nothing Party in charge 
 of the project.
1865 Tennessee adopted a new constitution that abolished 
 slavery.
1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 
 5 and 10-cent store.
1885 The Washington Monument was officially dedicated 
 in Washington, DC. It opened to the public in 1889.
1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit 
 opened in Emeryville, CA.
1994 The U.S. Justice Department charged Aldrich Ames and 
 his wife with selling national secrets to the Soviet Union. 
 Ames was later convicted to life in prison. Ames' wife 
 received a 5-year prison term.
1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced 
 that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly 
 was actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first 
 mammal to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell.
2014  smiled.


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What is a Codec? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, February 21.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Illinois Shoe-sterbator jailed Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah Khomeini's death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized behavior." Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer? --- George Price
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

>From Tessa I overheard my father telling a family friend about my newly- assigned mission in the U.S. Coast Guard. I work on a cutter that escorts all cruise ships and international vessels under the bridges in California's Bay Area. But what my father told his friend was, "She's involved in some sort of escort service."
Flying to Los Angeles from San Francisco the other day, a passenger noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one. Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it. "Well," she explained, "up front there are 17 University of California girls going to Los Angeles for the weekend. "In back, there are 25 Marine enlistees. What would you do?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alexandra Westover, 21, West Boca, Floriduh Jailed After Shoesterbating The security director at an Illinois university allegedly ejaculated inside the shoe of a female coworker who told cops that she became suspicious after spotting him "buttoning his pants and fastening his belt" while leaving her office one recent evening. Timothy Margis, 39, was arrested last week and charged with public indecency and disorderly conduct in connection with the lewd act at Concordia University, according to a River Forest Police Department statement. The female employee told investigators that after Margis exited her office she discovered a “clear liquid” inside one of her shoes. Margis, seen above, reportedly copped to the February 10 workplace masturbation when questioned by cops. The woman told police that when she asked Margis why he had been in her office, he claimed to have been checking the space since it was left unlocked. Police noted that Margis and the victim were not involved in a relationship. Margis, free on $150 bail, has been fired from his job at Concordia, a Chicago-area school that describes itself as being “centered in the gospel of Jesus Christ.” Tech Support Pits From: Francis Re: What really are Codecs? Dear Webby, if I had a million years, I could probably read all the mostly contradictory information about what codecs are. What is the REAL story, in plain English? Thanks Francis Dear Francis Technically, a codec is a program that prepares video and/or musinc for transmission and then restores it for playback. There are a bunch of different codec programs, often including an enforced payment scheme. For example, if you buy music or movies online, it is usually encoded in some way, so that only YOU can enjoy it. They put a cookie onto your computer, that acts like a key and has the path to the codec (decryptor), that you paid for, There are also public codecs, that let Youtube or WMP play stuff, that is encrypted with that public codec. Some criminals claim that they can sell you a pack of codecs for certain games or porno movies. All it will cost you is your sould and control over your computer. Naturally they don't word it quite like that, but that is what their browser hijacker Trojan amounts to. Whenever you see "codec pack" or anything similar, get outa there FAST! You already do have all the codecs for all the legitimate stuff. Don't shop on the dark side with YOUR computer. Have FUN! DearWebby Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Microwave to Melt Bars of Soap I microwaved pieces of Dove and Lever together. Next time, I will not mix them, as the Dove melted faster and frothed up. By RhondaLouise Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A little boy returning home from his first day at the new school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, I knew all that, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A young executive was leaving the office one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important and my assistant has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly", said the young man, flattered that the CEO had asked him for help. He turned the the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button. "Excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I need two copies of that."
>From Louise: ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"

» Cars of The Future

Today in 
1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was 
 demonstrated in Wales.
1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine.
1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx 
 and Friedrich Engels.
1858 The first electric burglar alarm was installed in Boston, MA.
1878 The first telephone directories issued in the U.S. were 
 distributed to residents in New Haven, CT. It was a single page 
 of only fifty names.
1916 During World War I, the Battle of Verdun began in France. 
 The battle ended on December 18, 1916 with a French victory 
 over Germany.
1932 William N. Goodwin patented the camera exposure meter.
1947 Edwin Land demonstrated the Polaroid Land Camera to the 
 Optical Society of America in New York City. It was the 
 first camera to take, develop and print a picture on photo 
 paper all in about 60 seconds. The photos were black and white.
1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age 
 of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims.
1973 Israeli fighter planes shot down a Libyan Airlines 
 jet over the Sinai Desert. More than 100 people were killed.
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah Khomeini's 
 death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie 
 "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized behavior."
1995 Chicago stockbroker Steve Fossett became the first person 
 to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon. He landed 
 in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada.
2014  smiled.


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Fake request for more codeces 




Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, February 20.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a 21 year old Floriduh woman, who was jailed after making up rape story to avoid work Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury capsule. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments. --- William H. Borah
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

Married for a night A man and a woman, who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed." "Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket!" After a moment of silence, he farted, long and loud.
Jimmy is almost 29 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Jimmy just dates and dates. Finally a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Jimmy replies. "I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggests, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole mother?" Many weeks go by and again Jimmy and his friend get together. "So, Jimmy, did you find the perfect girl yet? One that's just like your mother?" Jimmy shrugs his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like mom. My mother loved her, they quickly became friends." "Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not, my father can't stand her!"
Click on the picture for the large version We need more CO2!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alexandra Westover, 21, West Boca, Floriduh Jailed After Making Up Rape Story To Avoid Work Alexandra Westover, a 21-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Thursday after she allegedly lied about being raped to get out of trouble for skipping work. According to Florida State Police, an investigation was launched Tuesday after Westover reported to police that she had been raped by a stranger who stopped to help her w hile she was having car trouble on the Florida Turnpike. Investigators say Westover told them that she was on her way to work Tuesday morning when her vehicle broke down between the Palm Beach Gardens and Jupiter exits. She went on to say that a Hispanic male stopped and offered to help her, however, when she opened the passenger side door of her vehicle, the man attacked her from behind. Westover then claimed the man tore open her panties and sexually assaulted her before fleeing the scene. After giving police a detailed description of the suspect, investigators spent more than 100 man-hours investigating the alleged assault. Investigators began to doubt the woman's story, however, when they reviewed video surveillance of the highway and were unable to find any indication that a vehicle had broken down on that particular stretch of highway. Their suspicions were confirmed further when Westover's father called police Thursday and reported that his daughter admitted to him that she made up the story. During a subsequent police interview, Westover admitted to making up the story. When asked why she falsely claimed to have been raped, Westover stated that she didn't want to get into trouble for not showing up for work at her great uncle's house that day. She was booked into Palm Beach County Jail and charged with false reporting of a crime and perjury not during official proceedings. She was released on Friday after posting bond. Tech Support Pits From: Woody Re: Codeces and tool bars Dear Webby; Hope all is well with your eyes! Another question for you This morning i was in a web site and i got this warning message that i Had to update my Codec Pack with a new version of it. Well reading down thru the information i seen that i had to download a different browser and toolbar and then it would download the codec pack. I did not update it but now the question is what does the codec pack do and do i need to go look for a update for it. I went to the program file and could not find the codec pack anywhere, so its above my head. Can you explain it in plain English? Thanks for your expertise in the field.... have a nice day Woody. Dear Woody Don't go back there! That is evil shit! Whenever some site tells you that you need a different browser, search engine and/or tool bar, codecs, etc. get outa there and NEVER go back! Some of those things are awfully difficult to get rid off. And you do NOT need any of that crap. They fall into the Browser Hijacker class of Malware. Those Browser Hijackers open a back-door into your computer and you lose control over what you can and can't do. Do you see that BIG button for Malwarebytes in the side menu? Most likely you would need Malwarebytes to get rid of that. Because those Browser Hijackers con people, who are less smart than you are, into AGREEING to sell their soul and access to their computer to the hijackers, normal Anti-Virus programs can't do anything. After all, YOU sold your soul and your computer, and YOU had invited and installed that crap. Malwarebytes gets rid of it anyway, but not instantly. It is an interactive process and you have to participate in the cleanup. If you do occasionally mess around on the dark side, get Malwarebytes in advance. It will block evil shit. Re Codeces, don't worry about them. Windows Media Player, Quicktime Music Player, YouTube, etc. have all the Codeces you need. If some site claims that to listen to the Russian Pussy Riot punk band, you would need extra codeces, get out of there fast. They are just trying to stampede you into all kinds of nonsense. If you want to listen to that punk band, search for it with Google. You won't need any extra codeces, just earplugs. Good Luck! DearWebby Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Repairing a Burn Hole in Carpet My son burned a hole in our carpet. I took my vacuum and an old panty hose over the wand with a rubber band and then proceeded to vacuum the carpet. The fibers that collected in the panty hose were then placed in the hole that I had put super glue in to. Voila! The hole was fixed and no one could tell. By Sally from Buffalo, NY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones."
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at an academic function, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'" The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

» The Chalk Guy is Back:

Today in 
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London.
1792 U.S. President George Washington signed the Postal 
 Service Act thereby creating the U.S. Post Office.
1809 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the power of the federal 
 government was greater than that of any individual state.
1839 The U.S. Congress prohibited dueling in the District of Columbia.
1872 Luther Crowell received a patent for a machine that 
 manufactured paper bags.
1872 Silas Noble and J.P. Cooley patented the toothpick 
 manufacturing machine.
1931 The U.S. Congress allowed California to build the 
 Oakland Bay Bridge.
1933 The U.S. House of Representatives completed congressional 
 action on the amendment to repeal Prohibition.
1944 "Big Week" began as U.S. bombers began raiding German 
 aircraft manufacturing centers during World War II.
1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world 
 three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American 
 to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury capsule.
1965 Ranger 8 crashed on the moon after sending back thousands 
 of pictures of its surface.
1987 A bomb exploded in a computer store in Salt Lake City, UT. 
 The blast was blamed on the Unabomber.
1993 Two ten-year-old boys were charged by police in Liverpool, 
 England, in the abduction and death of a toddler. The two boys 
 were later convicted and have been releasedafter a few years.
1998 American Tara Lipinski, at age 15, became the youngest 
 gold medalist in winter Olympics history when she won the 
 ladies' figure skating title at Nagano, Japan.
2001 FBI Agent Robert Phillip Hanssen was arrested and charged 
 with spying for the Russians for 15 years.
2002 In Reqa Al-Gharbiya, Egypt, a fire raced through a train 
 killing at least 370 people and injuring at least 65.
2003 In West Warwick, RI, 99 people were killed when fire 
 destroyed the nightclub The Station. The fire started with 
 sparks from a pyrotechnic display being used by Great White. 
 Ty Longley, guitarist for Great White, was one of the 
 victims in the fire.
2014  smiled.


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Humor: What is the difference between Open Office and Office Libre? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, February 19.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to A snow shoveler, who beaned a snowplow driver Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2008 Fidel Castro resigned the Cuban presidency. His brother Raul was named as his successor. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The point of living and of being an optimist, is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come. --- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)
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"If you're going to work here young man, " said the boss, "the number two thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm." "Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?" "Oh, yes, sir." responded the young man. "And another thing the number one thing we are very keen on is truthfulness. There is no mat." said the boss.
A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum. "Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Douglas, Haskell, 40, Lakeville, MA Jailed for beaning snowplow driver with a snow shovel A Massachusetts man was arrested Saturday night for allegedly clobbering a plow driver in the head with a shovel in a “snow rage” attack, according to police. Douglas Haskell, 40, was charged with assault and battery with a deadly weapon following a violent confrontation with a neighbor in Lakeville, a town about 40 miles south of Boston. Investigators allege that Haskell, seen in the above mug shot, became angered when the plow driver pushed snow onto his side of a narrow street. After exchanging words with the male driver, Haskell allegedly hit the victim in the head and shoulder with a shovel. The plow driver suffered a cut above his left eye, but declined transport to a hospital when interviewed by Lakeville Police Department officers. Haskell was arraigned today on the felony count and released on his own recognizance. He is next due in Wareham District Court on March 27. Tech Support Pits From: Elena Re: What is the difference between Open Office and Office Libre? Dear Webby, What is the difference between Open Office and Office Libre? Elena Dear Elena I don't really see any significant difference. The main reason for the two different versions of what is more or less just Open Office, seems to be just to encourage competition between the groups of programmers. They both work fine, and are good and suitable FREE alternatives to Microsoft Office. To get any work done you need one of the three. What is important is not which one you choose, but that you choose ONE, and get good and comfortable with it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Heel of Shoe Linings from Wearing Out My sneakers often wear out in the lining, especially at the heel, before the rest of the shoe. So, I mend the inside of the back of the heels with either clear First Aid tape - or white First aid tape (which matches my white sneakers). If the padding has totally worn through at the heel, you can also replace the worn padded lining with a piece of molefoam and glue it or tape the edges. You may have to keep after the tape, as it slips after a while, but it makes your sneakers wearable and comfortable, so you can get your full use out of them. By pam munro Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Philosophy of Love... If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But... If it just sits in your living room, watches your TV, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you a ctually set it free in the first place, then you either married it or gave birth to it!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A husband asks his wife, "If I should die first would you marry again?" "I would be heart-broken, of course," was her reply, "but I think eventually I would remarry." "But you wouldn't bring him here to our house?" "Why not? I've worked and slaved to make this house a home. There is no reason to abandon it." "But you wouldn't sleep in our bed?" "Well, I wouldn't run out and buy a new bed right away." "Surely, you wouldn't let him use my golf clubs?" "Of course not! He's lefthanded!"
"Do you love me with all your heart and soul?" asked Becky. "Mmm hmm." replied Dave. "Do you think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world?" "Mmm hmm." "Do you think my lips are like rose petals?" "Mmm hmm." "Oh Dave," gushed Becky, "you say the most beautiful things!"

» Wild Flowers

Today in 
1846 The formal transfer of government between Texas and the 
 nited States took place. Texas had officially become a state 
 on December 29, 1845.
1856 The tintype camera was patented by Professor Hamilton 
 L. Smith.
1878 Thomas Alva Edison patented a music player (the phonograph).
1881 Kansas became the first state to prohibit all alcohol
1942 U.S. President Roosevelt signed an executive order 
 giving the military the authority to relocate and intern 
 Japanese-Americans.
1942 Approximately 150 Japanese warplanes attacked the 
 Australian city of Darwin.
1945 During World War II, about 30,000 U.S. Marines landed 
 on Iwo Jima.
1959 Cyprus was granted its independence
1963 The Soviet Union informed U.S. President Kennedy it would 
 withdraw "several thousand" of its troops from Cuba.
1981 The U.S. State Department called El Savador a 
 "textbook case" of a Communist plot.
1981 Ford Motor Company announced its loss of $1.5 billion.
1985 Mickey Mouse was welcomed to China as part of the 30th 
 anniversary of Disneyland. The touring mouse played 30 
 cities in 30 days.
1985 Cherry Coke was introduced by the Coca-Cola Company.
1986 The U.S. Senate approved a treaty outlawing genocide. 
 The pact had been submitted 37 years earlier for 
 ratification.
1986 The Soviet Union launched the Mir space station.
1997 Deng Xiaoping of China died at the age of 92. He was 
 the last of China's major revolutionaries.
2002 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began using its thermal 
 emission imaging system to map Mars.
2004 Former Enron Corp. chief executive Jeffrey Skilling was 
 charged with fraud, insider trading and other crimes in 
 connection with the energy trader's collapse. Skilling was 
 later convicted and sentenced to more than 24 years in 
 prison.
2008 Fidel Castro resigned the Cuban presidency. His brother 
 Raul was named as his successor.

2014  smiled.


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FireFox becoming fragile 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, February 18.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to An Ohio Woman, who assaulted supermarket worker with pair of filets. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2001 NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Sr., died in a crash during the Daytona 500 race. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
For aught that I could ever read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love never did run smooth. --- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. --- Mae West
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

>from Daniel An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.” The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
My new girlfriend, Karen, got a job at a local hardware store. "The owner doesn't want us hanging out with our friends," she said. "If you stop by, tell them you're my brother." On my first visit, I walked to the customer service desk and asked the older woman there, "Is Karen around"? When she looked at me quizzically, I added, "I'm her brother." She smiled, "What a nice surprise. I am so pleased to meet you! I'm Karen's mother."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Lillemor's Christmas Cactus0 2 17 2014
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frances Slyman, 44, Brunswick, Ohio Ohio Woman Assaulted Supermarket Worker With Pair Of "Special Cut Filets" Frances Slyman. The 44-year-old was arrested for assault after allegedly striking an Ohio supermarket employee with a pair of “special cut filets,” police report. While shopping with her family at the Giant Eagle store in Brunswick, a city 25 miles south of Cleveland, Slyman “went to the meat counter to retrieve some special cut filets,” according to a police report. “At some point,” cops noted, “Slyman threw 2 of the filets” at Alzbeta Barath, a 64-year-old woman working the meat counter. The filets went flying “over an alleged comment she climed Barath supposedly had made earlier toward Slyman’s husband,” according to investigators. The derogatory comment--which Barath denied making-- purportedly involved the weight of Slyman. A witness told cops that she did not hear Barath say anything to the Slymans to prompt the filet assault. The flung filets struck Barath in the eye and shoulder, though she declined medical treatment for the meat attack. But Barath did opt to press charges against Slyman, who was arrested for misdemeanor assault. She was booked into the local jail and later released. Quite possibly the comments sounding like "Ten Ton Porker" were by somebody different and not concerning her. It is unclear if the “special cut filets” were placed in the police evidence locker following the February 8 incident, or whether somebody "destroyed the evidence". Tech Support Pits From: Angela Re: Is it W7 or FireFox Dear Webby, Is it W7 or FireFox? I used to be able to have two dozen tabs open for later perusal, and there was no problem whatsoever. Then gradually, over the last year, that did become a problem. Firefox slowed down more and more and only a reboot would speed it up to normal. Is W7 sabotaging it? How do I get around that problem? Angela Dear Angela I have no proof that, with each Windows Update, Firefox becomes a bit slower and more fragile. Like you, I found that it APPEARS that way. Naturally, nobody will admit to nothing. Instead of rebooting you can hit CTRL SHIFT ESC to bring up the Task Manager. Click on Processes Usually, by that time Firefox will be at the top. Highlight it, and hit ALT E to end it. Hit ENTER to OK. FireFox will close as if with a light switch. Start it up again. You will get a screen asking you, if you want to restore. On that screen you see all the tabs, that you had open. That gives you a chance to take the checkmarks off duplicates and no longer needed tabs. After weeding it out a bit, hit OK. Firefox will open at normal speed after that. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dryer Sheets For Garbage Odor I put a scented fabric softener sheet under every trash bag and inside of the bag, too, for the trashcans in my house. It seems to really help not only the trashcans by absorbing odors but seems to freshen the air in the room too! By julrobs from North Augusta, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The 7 Ages of Marriage 1ST YEAR: The husband says, "Oh, sweetie pie, I'm really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There's no telling what that could turn into with all the strep that's been going around. I'm going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I'm going to bring you some takeout from Tosini's. I've already arranged it with the head nurse." 2ND YEAR: "Listen, honey, I don't like the sound of that cough. I called the doc and he's going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don't you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?" 3RD YEAR: "Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy you need the rest. I'll bring you something-- do we have any canned soup around here?" 4TH YEAR: "No sense wearing yourself out when you're under the weath! er. When you finish those dishes and the kids' baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!" 5TH YEAR: "Why don't you take a couple aspirin?" 6TH YEAR: "You oughta go gargle or something, instead of sitting around barking like a dog!" 7TH YEAR: "For Pete's sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You'd better pick up some tissues while you're at the store."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Hilla As the owner of an old clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One day at the supermarket, just after I had filled my trunk with groceries, I noticed a stream of fluid pouring out of the bottom of the car. I knew I had to get home before the car was once again out of action. When I arrived I asked my husband to take a look at the pro- blem. Expecting the worst, I braced myself for his diagnosis. When he came back in, he was smiling. "It's apple juice," he said.
A gent from Chicago was on a fishing vacation up north in the Wisconsin woods. He was out fishing on a lake in a small boat and not having much luck. He noticed a man in another small boat that was close by, open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and enquired, "What is the mirror for?" "That's my secret way to catch fish," replied the other man. "I Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim up to the surface. Then I just reach down, net them and pull them into the boat." "Wow! Does that really work?" exclaimed the guy from Chicago "You bet it does." was the response. "Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $50 for it." offered the big city gent. "Well, okay." said the country guy. After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many did you catch this week?" The country local, grinned and said, "You're the sixth."

» Critters & More

Today in 
1564 The artist Michelanglelo died in Rome.
1685 Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established 
 Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the 
 basis for France's claim to Texas.
1841 The first continuous filibuster in the U.S. Senate began. 
 It lasted until March 11th.
1885 Mark Twain's "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" was published 
 in the U.S. for the first time.
1913 The famous French painting "Nude Descending a Staircase", 
 by the French artist, Marcel Duchamp, was displayed at an 
 "Armory Show" in New York City.
1930 Elm Farm Ollie became the first cow to fly in an airplane.
1930 The planet Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh. The 
 discovery was made as a result of photographs taken in 
 January 1930.
1952 Greece and Turkey became members of NATO.
1972 The California Supreme Court struck down the state's 
 death penalty.
1998 In Russia, money shortages resulted in the shutting 
 down of three plants that produced nuclear weapons.
2001 NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Sr., was killed in a 
 crash during the Daytona 500 race.
2003 In South Korea, at least 120 people were killed when 
 a man lit a fire on a subway train.
2014  smiled.


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Is there a W7 - Firefox conflict? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, February 17.



Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 47 yr old teacher jailed for having sex with 13-Year-Old Relative Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1947 - The Voice of America began broadcasting to the Soviet Union. "Voice of America" was a series of very strong broadcasting stations all along the Iron Curtain. You could, of course, hear it all over Europe too. A lot of propaganda, which I forgot, but also Great music! Only Radio Luxembourg was stronger and had even newer music. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When you come to a fork in the road, take it. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - )
Who owns that unidentified phone number? Look up all the details quickly and easily with Reverse Lookup. Extremely low annual fee for unlimited use.

A man is struck by a bus on a busy New York City street. He lies on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd, but there's no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. "A priest, please," the injured man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a wrinkled and wizened Jewish man of advanced years. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for 50 years now I've lived behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every night I've listened to the Catholic rites. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agrees and brings the old man over to where the man lies. The old man kneels down on the sidewalk, leans over the injured victim and intones in a solemn voice: "Under the B - 4. Under the I - 19. Under the N - 38. Under the G - 54. Under the O - 72." BINGO!
A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five- year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator. Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator." To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no! Don't shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute, so I can take my son's picture on his back."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christine Mazzarella, 47, Tucson, AZ 47 yr old teacher jailed for having sex with 13-Year-Old Relative Christine Mazzarella, a 47-year-old special education teacher at Lineweaver Elementary School, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a 13 year old relative. According to Tucson Police, an investigation was launched earlier this month when the department's child sex crime unit received a tip alleging that Mazzarella was having a sexual relationship with an underage relative. Investigators say Mazzarella had sex with the boy on numerous occasions in July 2013. There is no indication, however, that she engaged in sexual misconduct at Lineweaver Elementary. Mazzarella was booked into the Pima County Jail and charged with four counts of sexual conduct with a minor. Tech Support Pits From: Angela Re: Is it W7 or FireFox Dear Webby, Is it W7 or FireFox? I used to be able to have two dozen tabs open for later perusal, and there was no problem whatsoever. Then gradually, over the last year, that did become a problem. Firefox slowed down more and more and only a reboot would speed it up to normal. Is W7 sabotaging it? How do I get around that problem? Angela Dear Angela I have no proof that, with each Windows Update, Firefox becomes a bit slower and more fragile. Like you, I found that it APPEARS that way. Naturally, nobody will admit to nothing. Instead of rebooting you can hit CTRL SHIFT ESC to bring up the Task Manager. Click on Processes Usually, by that time Firefox will be at the top. Highlight it, and hit ALT E to end it. Hit ENTER to OK. FireFox will close as if with a light switch. Start it up again. You will get a screen asking you, if you want to restore. On that screen you see all the tabs, that you had open. That gives you a chance to take the checkmarks off duplicates and no longer needed tabs. After weeding it out a bit, hit OK. Firefox will open at normal speed after that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remove Garlic and Onion Odors from Hands To get the garlic smell off your hands just rub them against your stainless steel sink. It takes the smell right away! By skiven from MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>Lena One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough." "How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said. Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "'Is this a question?' - Discuss." After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam.
As a ski instructor, I sometimes tease my little pupils. Once I told seven year old Luke that if my skis were faster than his, it was because I'd waxed them with butter. The next morning his grandmother came to class with him. She took me aside and said, "We had no butter left for breakfast. Luke had spread it all over his skis, claiming that it was the proper way to wax them. I think you should tell the children that instead of listening to nonsense from idiots, they should only take advice from their teacher."

» Tools and Hardware

Today in 
1817 - The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets 
 of Baltimore, MD.
1865 - Columbia, SC, burned. The Confederates were evacuating 
 and the Union Forces were moving in.
1876 - Julius Wolff was credited with being the first to can
 sardines.
1878 - In San Francisco, CA, the first large city telephone 
 exchange opened. It had only 18 phones.
1933 - Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years 
 after Chic Young’s popular strip first debuted.
1944 - During World War II, the Battle of Eniwetok Atoll began. 
 U.S. forces won the battle on February 22, 1944.
1947 - The Voice of America began broadcasting to the 
 Soviet Union.
1992 - In Milwaukee, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was 
 sentenced to life in prison. In November of 1994, he was 
 beaten to death in prison.
2014  smiled.


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Screen Savers 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, February 16.



Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a 24 yr old Washington teacher jailed after having sex with three of her students Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2002 The operator of a crematory in Noble, GA, was arrested after dozens of corpses were found stacked in storage sheds and scattered around in the surrounding woods. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

>From Brent I came home one night and my wife was crying. I said, "whats wrong?" She said, "I'm home sick." I said, "But, this IS your home." "Yes," she replied, "and I'm sick of it!"
Bob and his wife Judy live in Wisconsin. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say: "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through" Judy goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says: "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through." Judy goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says: "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park........... ," then the electric power goes out. Judy is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I just don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice, which all men, who are married to beautiful women, exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Click on the picture for the large version Green lovebird
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Meredith Claire Powell, 24, Sequim, Washington 24 yr old teacher jailed after haveing sex with three students Meredith Claire Powell, a 24-year-old math teacher at Lincoln High School, was jailed Thursday after she allegedly had sex with two students and engaged in sexually explicit chat with a third student. According to court documents, Powell told detectives that she performed oral sex on a 15-year-old student in her Tacoma classroom after sending him nude photographs of herself using the application 'Snapchat.' Investigators say Powell also admitted to exchanging inappropriate text messages with a 16-year-old student before engaging in sexual activity with him during a January 17 school assembly. An arrest affidavit explained that Powell used the assembly as an opportunity to be alone with the student inside her classroom. A third student, who attended her class last year, told investigators that he and Powell exchanged sexually explicit text messages but did not engage in sexual contact. An investigation was launched on February 4 after school administrators learned of the alleged sexual activity and contacted police. The investigation kicked into high gear after investigators were provided a letter that Powell had written to a boy's girlfriend apologizing for her "promiscuous" and "unprofessional" comments and text messages. Powell was booked into the Pierce County Jail and charged with two counts of third-degree child rape and communication with a minor for immoral purposes via electronic communication. She was released without bail Friday night. --------------- This does not say much for the male teachers in Tacoma! Tech Support Pits From: Trish Re: Screen Saver Dear Webby, Hi Webby It occurred to me that I don't have a 'screen saver' on. I don't know if it's best to have it on or not to, I'm sure some other readers would be interested to know. I tried some, but after half an hour or so the screen went black as it usually is when I leave my computer on. Is this the 'power saving thing happening' or what, I really am not sure why one should have a 'screen saver', does it 'save the screen' or what, "please explain". Think I read once that they just take up space on the computer. Not talking about the desktop picture, just screen saver and why if you put one on if the thing goes black after a short while anyway. Thanks if you can answer this. Regards to you and yours, Trish Dear Trish Once upon the time, long long ago, the monitors were eight to ten inch wide, and "greenie" two color vacuum tube displays. The screen was coated on the inside with phosphors, that glowed when hit by an electron beam. Beam = whitish glow, no beam = dark green. We were qite pleases when we got two types of brightness, and could do Bold! The problem with those "greenies" was that the phosphors gpt burned into the glass, if a screen was left on too long. I remember coming onto office floors to pick up dead machines after regular working hours, when the lights were dimmed, and seeing hundreds of monitors with the DW3 or DW4 (IBM DisplayWrite) menu brightly visible, The computers and monitors were all turned off, it was just the menu burned into the screen. So I wrote the ladies some really simple screen savers, basically just their name jumping from one line to another and slowly clearing the entire screen. No big deal at all. Naturally, I got yelled at for that, and some higher up went through channels and bought a "proper" screensaver from IBM for a huge chunk of money. Now you know PART 1 of the history of screen savers. PART 2 came in when the need arose to protect sensitive data, like where a lady was on Solitaire, when she had to go to the powder room or the coffee room. Then screensavers were set to require a password to go away. With modern LCD monitors PART 1 is obsolete. PART 2, protecting senditive data is more critical than ever. They would not want their co-workers to take cellphone snapshots of their Farmville and Mafia Wars screens, while they are momentarily away. Even though there is no physical need for screen savers any more, they are by no means obsolete. You CAN set your power saving options to turn off the screen after so many minutes, like you got it by factory default. That too protects your sensitive Mafia Wars data, but is generally considered less fashional than some snazzy screensaver. To save electricity it is definitely a good idea to go through your power options and set them in a way, that make sense for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycled Plastic Container for Dryer Lint After finishing up my Folgers Decaf instant coffee, I looked at the container and thought it would be perfect for holding dryer lint. I gave it a try and found that it works great. It takes up just a little space and the flip top lid is so convenient. I leave the lid open until all the laundry is done. Then I snap it shut. When it gets full, which is taking weeks, I'll empty it into the trash or save the lint for the birds to use in their nests this spring. By Litter Gitter Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
This is an ancient classic: AMERICAN JOURNALISM Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded. Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content." Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "O Canada" one last time." The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully. Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said,"Now I can die happy." The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?" "Kick me in the ass," said the Marine. "What?" asked the leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour? "F'n Rights! I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his fatigues, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?" "What!" replied the Marine, "And have you three assholes report that I carried out an unprovoked attack against poor, innocent locals?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Back in the days when Roman galleys plied the Mediterranean, a crew of oarsmen was sweating and straining to propel the ship through high seas when the first mate appeared. "I've got good news and bad news," he says. "The good news is we've spotted an island, so the plan is to stop, drink rum, hunt a couple of wild boars, have a feast and relax with the native girls." The sailors all cheer in happiness, all but one, who asks, "And what is the bad news?" "Well," the first mate replies, "tomorrow, the captain wants to go water skiing."
Consider the Kansas farm couple who are sleeping early one morning when a tornado roars over their farmhouse. It lifts the roof off, picks up the bed the farmer and his wife are sleeping in, and sets them down gently in the next county. The wife begins to cry. "Don't be scared, dear," her husband says. "We're not hurt." The woman continues to cry. "I'm not scared," she says between sobs. "I'm crying because I'm happy. This is the first time in 24 years we've been out together."

» Workshop Tools

Today in 
1741 Benjamin Franklin published America’s second magazine, 
"The General Magazine and Historical Chronicle".
1804 A raid was led by Lt. Stephen Decatur to burn the 
 U.S. Navy frigate Philadelphia. The ship had been taken 
 by pirates.
1857 The National Deaf Mute College was incorporated in 
 Washington, DC. It was the first school in the world for 
 advanced education of the deaf. The school was later 
 renamed Gallaudet College.
1862 During the U.S. Civil War, about 14,000 Confederate 
 soldiers surrendered to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at 
 Fort Donelson, TN.
1868 The Jolly Corks organization, in New York City, 
 changed it name to the Benevolent and Protective Order 
 of Elks (BPOE).
1918 Lithuania proclaimed its independence.
1923 Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Egyptian 
 Pharaoh Tutankhamen. The next day he entered the chamber 
 with several invited guests. He had originally found the 
 tomb on November 4, 1922.
1932 The first fruit tree patent was issued to James E. 
 Markham for a peach tree which ripens later than other 
 varieties.
1937 Wallace H. Carothers received a patent for nylon. 
 Carothers was a research chemist for Du Pont.
1938 The U.S. Federal Crop Insurance program was authorized.
1945 During World War II, U.S. troops landed on the island 
 of Corregidor in the Philippines.
1946 The first commercially designed US helicopter was tested 
 in Connecticut.
1959 Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow 
 of President Fulgencio Batista.
1960 The U.S.S. Triton began the first circumnavigation of 
 the globe under water. The trip ended on May 10.
1968 In the U.S., the first 911 emergency telephone system 
 was inaugurated in Haleyville, AL.
1970 Joe Frazier began his reign as the heavyweight world 
 champion when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis in five rounds. 
 He lost the title on January 22, 1973, when he lost for the 
 first time in his professional career to George Foreman.
1987 John Demjanjuk went on trial in Jerusalem. He was 
 accused of being "Ivan the Terrible", a guard at the 
 Treblinka concentration camp. He was convicted, but the 
 Israeli Supreme Court overturned the ruling.
1989 Investigators in Lockerbie, Scotland, announced that 
 a bomb hidden inside a radio-cassette player was the reason 
 that Pan Am Flight 103 was brought down the previous December. 
 All 259 people aboard and 11 on the ground were killed.
1999 Kurds seized embassies and held hostages across Europe 
 following Turkey's arrest of Kurdish rebel leader 
 Abdullah Ocalan.
2002 The operator of a crematory in Noble, GA, was arrested 
 after dozens of corpses were found stacked in storage sheds 
 and scattered around in the surrounding woods.
2005 The Kyoto global warming pact went into effect in 140 
 nations.
2005 The NHL announced the cancellation of the 2004-2005 
 season due to a labor dispute. It was the first time a major 
 sports league in North America lost an entire season to a 
 labor dispute.
2014  smiled.


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Upside Down Video 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, February 15.

How many times did you see me get hostile and irate about
"compressed air"?
Five hundred times?
Or are you just new around here?

A very good longtime friend in California, whom I even 
visited during one of the Cactus Safaris, told me last 
night, that her step son had been found, 
dead from huffing,
in a pile of empty "compressed air" cans.

If you see those "Compressed Air" cans, no matter
what name is on them, trash them!

Do you want to see YOUR kids or grandkids snorting carpet,
flat on the floor, from supposedly safe "Compressed Air"?

Anybody with the IQ of a stepped on dung beetle can
understand, that it is very stooopid to use compressed
gas of any kind to blow dirt from hard to get at places 
towards harder to get at places. DUHH!!!

The whole BS that those "Compressed Air" cans supposedly 
are for "cleaning" anything is like saying shooting up 
heroin is just for needlecraft practise.
Bull Sheeet !

Whenever a moron is seen buying a big bag of "Compressed Air"
cans, by any name, he is not going to go door to door 
blowing dust off unused pussies. Somebody is going to be
huffing, and quite possibly dying on the floor.

Small vacuums for cleaning keyboards or the innards of 
computers, are $2.50 - $50.

Dirt Devil and Black & Decker make VERY good rechargeable
bagless vaccuums for $30, Yes, rechargeable, and bagless!
Professional quality for continuous use!
They have a cyclone inside that spins the air and separates
out any dirt or lost widdle screws. 

There are cheap store brand battery powered vacuums for 
sale for $2.50 and up. 
Check your Dollar store.

Even a regular household vacuum works fine.
In the 80's, when I was a mobile computer tech, I was 
sprinting around with a portable DirtDevil, that looked
like a bagpipe, had to be plugged in and made a racket 
like a jet, but it has cleaned a few thousand keyboards
and computers and monitors. Aside from tripping the odd
cutie with it's hose, it didn't put anybody on the floor.

If you see those "Compressed Air" cans, by ANY name,
don't accept any of the LIES and excuses. Trash them!
You might be saving a family member.

DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to An Arizona woman who went on a rampage, when she could not get laid Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2002 U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive nuclear waste. He got back-stabbed on that by Harry Reid and Obama, and the project got murdered. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) All marriages are happy - it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. --- Socratex
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

Jennifer had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went. "Pretty good, I think," replied Jennifer, "but if I go to work there I won't get a vacation until I'm married." Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing. "Is that what they told you?" "No",replied Jennifer, "but right on the application it said 'vacation time may notbe taken until you've had your First Anniversary.'"
For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. "We're saved!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!" "Sure," said the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this: Click on the picture for the large version Outside our breakfast nook/baywindow .Some of the lillys are still down, after a short but heavy rain. The hedge is Jasmin.Not due to bloom yet. The taller Camelia on the left ,is outside the kitchen sink window. The mess on the ground by the table , to the right, are some of the trimmings from the potted plants on the table. Thought I'd share. ~~ Lillemor
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ashley Marie Prenovost, 24, Glendale, AZ An Arizona woman who went on a rampage, when she could not get laid An Arizona woman went on a naked rampage early Monday after her live-in boyfriend refused to have sex with her, police report. Ashley Marie Prenovost, 24, was already intoxicated when her beau returned to the Glendale residence the couple shares with their four-month-old daughter. Prenovost, according to a court filing, “wanted to have sex with him and got naked.” When her boyfriend declined to have sex, Prenovost became enraged, according to police. She allegedly punched two holes in a bedroom wall, and “punched a picture hanging on the wall in the hallway, causing glass to break and causing injuries to both of suspect’s hands.” As Prenovost ran around inside the home, “she bled all over the floor in the master bedroom, hallway, common area by the front door and kitchen.” When cops arrived at the residence, a naked Prenovost attempted to flee through the garage. Pictured in the above mug shot, Prenovost was arrested on a variety of charges, including assault, disorderly conduct, and criminal damage. She was also hit with several child abuse counts since, during her tirade, she raced around the home with her baby in her arms. At one point, the child’s head struck a bedroom dresser. Prenovost was freed from custody yesterday. She is scheduled for a February 24 court appearance. Tech Support Pits From: Renae Re: Upside Down Video Dear Webby, I'm new to your ezine but I want to let you know that I am enjoying it very much. Now I have a question for you. About a week ago my mother called and said her computer was upside down. I sent my husband over and he found the desktop was upside down. The wallpaper was upside down and the icons were upside down and in the bottom right corner. He didn't know what to do for it so he solved the problem by picking up the monitor and turning it over making everything appear right-side-up. Any suggestions how to solve this problem? Renae Dear Renae In the old days of Windows 3 and before, there used to be a lot of TSR prank programs that we used to put on coworkers machines. With those you could set a trigger key, for example SHIFT Q. Nothing happened until the user hit SHIFT Q during their normal typing. When they did, then three seconds later the video flipped upside down. Other TSR's flippd the screen sideways, some had letters dropping out of the text and accumulating in a pile at the bottom of the screen, and one even had a cute little gopher popping at random spots out of the page. However, those harmless fun days are gone and I have not seen any of those TSRs for ten years or more. Your mother can try opening a new text document and then hitting every key on the keyboard one after the other, to see if one of them toggles the video back to normal, just to rule out that possibility. Within Windows XP, certain video drivers or graphics card chipsets supporting 180 degree screen rotation can cause the Windows XP display to be presented upside down. This can be (but is not always) tied to lowering the screen resolution in some accessibility programs. To revert to a right-side up display, hold down the CTRL, ALT and UP (arrow) keys. lp, increase the screen resolution. From what I read, this problem is very rare and only occurs in the coarse resolutions. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pineapple Bran Muffins Ingredients 1/2 cup sugar 1/3 cup shortening 1/3 cup honey 2 large eggs 1 1/3 cup shreds of wheat bran cereal 1 cup milk 1 can crushed pineapple, well drained 1 1/2 cup flour 1 1/2 tsp. baking soda Directions Combine first 3 ingredients in a large bowl; beat at medium speed with an electric mixer until blended. Add eggs, one at a time, beating just until yellow disappears. Stir in cereal, milk, and pineapple. Combine flour and soda; add to creamed mixture, stirring just until moistened. Spoon into paper-lined muffin pans, filling 3/4 full. Bake at (preheated) 400 degrees F for 18-20 minutes. Remove from pans immediately. Yield: 18 muffins. By Robin from Washington, IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A backslider suddenly began attending church faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing. The pastor was highly gratified and told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services!" "Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "it's a matter of choice. I'd rather hear your sermon than my wife's."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Guido's first job when he got to the United States was sweeping the floors in a pizzeria. After 15 years of hard work, Guido owned not only the store he started in, but a chain of 50 pizza stores. Guido believes it's now time to relax a little bit. Enjoy the fruits of his hard labor. He calls a contractor to have a huge mansion built for himself. Guido tells the contractor, "Makea you sure you puta lotsa da halo statues inna da house. I wanna have lotsa da halo statues in my mansion, capiche? One inna every room. One in da kitchen. One in da bathroom. Every room!" The contractor is impressed with how religious Guido is, promises to do a good job, and carefully plans a niche in every room for Guido's statues. The contractor personally searches for just the perfect religious statues for each room. Finally, the house is completed and the contractor takes Guido on a tour of Guido's new mansion. The contractor is full of pride showing off his work, but Guido looks concerned and fretful. Finally, the contractor says, "Is there something wrong, sir?" "Wherea are alla my halo statues?" Guido cries. The contractor points to the different statues he's carefully selected and placed everywhere. "They're in every room, sir, just like you asked!" Guido replies, "No no no! I doan wanna no Saintas. I wanna da halo statues!" "Sir?" "You know? Halo statues! Deya ring-a-ding-ding! You picka dem up, anna you say, 'Halo? S'tat you?"
When I was in the fourth grade, we had the horrible Mr. Johnson as our teacher. Once he got called to the office. When he got back, he found all of us sitting absolutely still and quiet. Shocked, he asked, "Boys and girls, I've never seen anything like this. It's wonderful. But what made you all act so well behaved and quiet?" We all looked at each other and I finally raised my hand. "Well," I said, "one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you'd drop dead. We are waiting with bated beath!"

» Hell & Ruff Water

Today in 
1758 Mustard was advertised for the first time in America.
1764 The city of St. Louis was established.
1799 Printed ballots were authorized for use in elections 
 in the state of Pennsylvania.
1898 The USS Maine sank when it exploded in Havana Harbor 
 for unknown reasons. More than 260 crew members were killed.
1900 The British threaten to use natives in their war with 
 the Boers.
1903 Morris and Rose Michtom, Russian immigrants, introduced 
 the first teddy bear in America.
1942 During World War II, Singapore surrendered to the 
 Japanese.
1961 A Boeing 707 crashed in Belgium killing 73 people.
1965 Canada displayed its new red and white maple leaf flag. 
 The flag was to replace the old Red Ensign standard.
1982 During a storm, the Ocean Ranger, a drilling rig, sank 
 off the coast of Newfoundland. 84 men were killed.
1989 After nine years of intervention, the Soviet Union 
 announced that the remainder of its troops had left 
 Afghanistan.
1991 The leaders of Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Poland 
 signed the Visegard agreement, in which they pledged to 
 cooperate in transforming thier countties to free-market 
 economies.
1995 The FBI arrested Kevin Mitnick and charged him with 
 cracking security in some of the nation's most protected 
 computers. He served five years in jail.
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca 
 Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive 
 nuclear waste. He got back-stabbed on that by Harry Reid 
and Obama.
2014  smiled.


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Alphabetize links in IE 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, February 14.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Happy Valentines Day!

If you don't like mushy stuff, go to
CuPig

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to David Bastin, in Jupiter, Floriduh, for smoking weed in a maternity ward. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1989 Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the government of India. The court-ordered settlement was a result of the 1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn't be so anxious. --- Mignon McLaughlin I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me. --- Anwar el-Sadat (1918 - 1981)
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

>From Roland Roland, an older man, approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall. ''Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'' The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, ''Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'' ''I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with boobs like yours, Ruth appears out of nowhere.''
Thanks to Connie for this: If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too. If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers you or your cubs into next week. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them into the next county. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yup..... I wanna be a bear.
>From Lillemor Click on the picture for the large version Send this as a Valentines Card! Free, just fill in the details. More goofy Valentines cards are at http://dawna.com/p11v.html
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Bastin, Jupiter, Floriduh David Bastin, in Jupiter, Floriduh, for smoking weed in a maternity ward. A resident of Jupiter, Fla. is accused of smoking weed inside a maternity ward. David Bastin, 28, was arrested at Martin Medical Center in Stuart, Fla., last Tuesday evening, WPTV reported. Someone called the cops because they smelled marijuana in the delivery and infant unit, according to a police report obtained by TC Palm. The responding officer said the scent was coming from the room where Bastin's girlfriend was admitted. After confronting Bastin, he allegedly coughed up a vaporizer, and, the officer wrote in the report, "a green leafy substance that I know from my training and experience to be raw cannabis." Bastin was charged with possession of cannabis under 20 grams and possession of drug paraphernalia, according to ABC Action News. His bond was set at $1,500. Tech Support Pits From Chuck Re: Alphabetize Links in IE Dear Webby, I've got a silly, tech question for you. I like it when my links in the "Favorites" folder are alphabetized. But Windows seems to ramdomly do this every once in a blue moon. Same thing with the little icons on newly saved links. Sometimes there are really neat icons when you save a link, but Windows will eventually wipe it out a few days or weeks later back to the dumb, default icon. Do you know any tricks to keep the neat icons and alphabetize the links? Thanks, Chuck Dear Chuck The SmartIcons are an "undocumented feature" and Microsoft does not know why they keep falling off or how they should work. As for sorting the favorites, yes, there IS an easy way, though Microsoft won't tell you. They tell you to mess with the registry. I found that if you right-click on the topmost grey menu bar and take the checkmark off the STANDARD BUTTONS, then instead of the favorites showing in a long list on the left side, they pull down from the word FAVORITES. Right click anywhere in there, and you will see the option to sort. After sorting, you can put the checkmark back onto STANDARD BUTTONS, and the favorites will remain nicely sorted for a while. However, new ones get added at the bottom, and those won't be sorted alphabetically. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pin Sponges to Your Pants If you need to be kneeling down, but don't have a pad for your knees, take two large safety pins and two large sponges and pin one sponge to the knees of your pants. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'" "See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him." She wasn't selected for the jury.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and me for a visit. After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in search of an entrance to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly said, "We're getting closer." "How do you know?" I asked. He pointed to a sign that read, "Sonny's Bar & Grill -- Tank Parking Available."
A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stonewall, holding hands, and gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps its aboot time for a wee cuddle." The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the girl, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad. The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request. Angus blurted out, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me those first two pennies?"

» Hell & Ruff Water

Today in 
1778 The Stars and Stripes was carried to a foreign port, 
 in France, for the first time. It was aboard the American 
 ship Ranger.
1803 Moses Coates received a patent for the apple parer.

1849 The first photograph of a U.S. President, while in 
 office, was taken by Matthew Brady in New York City. 
 President James Polk was the subject of the picture.
1876 Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a 
 patent for the telephone. It was officially issued on 
 March 7, 1876.
1889 In Los Angeles, CA, oranges began their first trip 
 to the east.
1899 The U.S. Congress approved voting machines for use 
 in federal elections. Florida will get theirs fixed by 2017
1900 Russia imposed tighter imperial control over Finland 
 in response to an international petition for Finland's 
 freedom.
1900 In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts invaded Orange 
 Free State with 20,000 troops.
1912 The first diesel engine submarine was commissioned 
 in Groton, CT.
1929 The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in 
 Chicago, IL. Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone 
 were killed.
1932 The U.S. won the first bobsled competition at the 
 Winter Olympic Games at Lake Placid, NY.
1946 ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) 
 was unveiled. The device, built at the University of 
 Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose 
 electronic computer.
1961 Lawrencium, element 103, was first produced in Berkely, CA.
1962 U.S. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy gave a tour of the
  White House on television.
1979 Adolph Dubs, the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan, was 
 kidnapped in Kabul by Muslim extremists. He was killed in 
 a shootout between his abductors and police.
1985 Cable News Network (CNN) reporter Jeremy Levin was 
 freed. He had been held in Lebanon by extremists.
1989 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini called on Muslims to kill 
 Salman Rushdie because of his novel "The Satanic Verses."
1989 The first satellite of the Global Positioning System 
 was placed into orbit around Earth.
1989 Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the 
 government of India. The court-ordered settlement was a 
 result of the 1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster.
1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery began 
 a series of spacewalks that were required to overhaul 
 the Hubble Space Telescope.
2003 In Madrid, Spain, a ceramic plate with a bullfighting 
 motif painted by Pablo Picasso in 1949 was stolen from 
 an art show. The plate was on sale for $12,400.
2014  smiled.


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Synchronized backups 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, February 13.

One day till GUILT DAY !

Forget a valentines gift, and you WILL find out, what
GUILT DAY is all about.

If you don't like mushy stuff, go to
CuPig

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an SC Vickie Lynn Morgan Allegedly Takes Break From Anal Sex To Attack Lover's Wife Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2003 The U.N. nuclear agency declared North Korea in violation of international treaties. The complaint was sent to the Security Council. They severely Tsk-Tskd about that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. We need more statesmen. --- Bob Edwards I think the world is run by 'C' students. --- Al McGuire Can "O" prove he ever earned a "C" ?
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

Thanks to Ruth for this: Why do our kids have to take the Iowa Test for Basic Skills? Why can't we have a 'Bama Test of Basic Skills with questions like, "Bubba's got three cars and he done traded for two more. How many cement blocks is Bubba gonna need?"
A father and his small daughter were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. Father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and she was taking it all in with a serious expression. Dad," the girl said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up ..." "Yes, Cindy?" the father said expectantly. "What bus should I take home?" the girl finished.
>From Lillemor Click on the picture for the large version Horseshoe Bend
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Vickie Lynn Morgan, 38, Spartanburg, SC an SC woman Takes Break From Anal Sex To Attack Lover's Wife Authorities in South Carolina say a woman was attacked by her husband's new girlfriend after walking in on the couple having sex. The Smoking Gun reports that 49-year-old Pamela Lynn Turney walked into her husband's Spartanburg, S.C. home Saturday evening. Though she could hear him, Turney was unable to locate him, so she followed the noises all the way to the bedroom. That's where she found the man in the midst of drinking, smoking weed and having anal sex with his 38-year-old Vickie Lynn Morgan (above). Morgan did not take kindly to the interruption, allegedly springing up from the bed and attacking Turney, knocking her down three times before she was finally able to escape. The incident left Turney with bruises on her forehead and cheek, as well as a black eye. Turney called police the next morning, and the Smoking Gun claims authorities are investigating Morgan, who was arrested for assault the previous February, but not sentnced yet. This doesn't bode well for her. Tech Support Pits From: Ronald Re: Syncronizing Back-Ups Dear Webby, What's new with Syncronizing back-ups? Dozens of programs all claim to be the best at it, abut all they really do is add more confusion and rigmarole. What's the word from the TOP? Ronald Dear Ronald There isn't really anything new with back-ups. I use XCOPY, which we got free since Windos 3.1 Click on START, cmd and in the scary black screen type: xcopy /? All the back-up programs simply use XCOPY and some of the switches listed there. Yeah, right. Ho-Hum. Make a list of everything, that you want to have backed up. With the complete path! For example: e:\alpha\eudora\*.* >> H:\alpha\eudora You don't really need the >>, that is just me making it more obvious You can also use Wildcards! Yeehaw! C:\*.xls >> H:\ That simply copies all Excel .xls files With the /D (date) switch, it copies ONLY the ones, that are newer at the source (C:\) than on the destination. Pretty snazzy, eh? And the geeks have had that available fre since the 80's? Yep. And where is all that top secret information hidden away from the tax paying public? Click on START, cmd and in the scary black screen type: xcopy /? Do I sound like a broken record? Well, I HAVE mentioned this a few thousand times since the mid 80's. So, make a plain text file with all your sources and destinations, without the >>>, just a space Then, to save you getting brain sprain from reading all those fancy "Switches", paste this in front of each line: xcopy /S /D /E /C /H /R /K /Y /Z so that you get, for example: xcopy /S /D /E /C /H /R /K /Y /Z C:\*.xls H:\ Do the same with all your stuff, and you have the equivalent of a $149 back-up program. They still make you list what you want backed up. There is no way out of that. When done, copy it into c:\ or c:\Windows\System or thereabouts. Then make a desktop shortcut to it. Now, when you hit that shortcut icon, it backs up WHAT IS NEWER on the source, than on the destination. It will not waste time with stuff, that is the same on both. If there is any interest, I'll show you how to add some neat tricks tomorrow. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dress Kids in the Same Color When in Crowd When my children were young, I used to dress them in the same color clothing anytime we would plan to be out in a large crowd. We all know how little ones can get excited at theme parks or even in a crowded mall and almost disappear before our eyes. It's so much easier to keep track of them when they're all wearing the same color clothing. With summer coming up and lots to be done, it's easy for us, and our children to become distracted. This tip may help relieve some of the stress, while keeping our kids a little safer. By Laurie from TN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted. "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out!!!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Once upon a time NASA decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The first astronaut decided to take along his wife, the second decided to take along books to learn how to speak German, while the third astronaut decided to take along cigarettes. Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. First came the first astronaut and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next, out came the second astronaut speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing applause. Suddenly out came the third astronaut with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium and snarled to the crowd and asked, 'Has anyone got a friggin' match?!?'
A lawyer read the will of a rich man to the deceased's family: "To my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my dumb cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will - well you are wrong: Hi Dan!"

» Up Up & Away:

Today in 
1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the 
 fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII.
1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the 
 Inquisition.
1635 The Boston Public Latin School was established. It was 
 the first public school building in the United States.
1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison 
 Effect for the first time.
1900 The Anglo-German accord of 1899 was ratified by Reichstag, 
 in which Britain renounced rights in Samoa in favor of 
 Germany and the U.S.
1920 The League of Nations recognized the continued neutrality 
 of Switzerland.
1945 During World War II, the Soviets captured Budapest, Hungary, 
 from the German army.
1945 During World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the 
 German city of Dresden, a disarmed Red Cross town.
1955 Israel acquired 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls.
1960 France detonated its first atomic bomb.
1971 South Vietnamese troops invaded Laos. They were backed by 
 U.S. air and artillery support.
1990 In Ottawa, the United States and its European allies forged 
 an agreement with the Soviet Union and East Germany on a two-stage 
 formula to reunite Germany.
1991 Hundreds of Iraqis were killed by two laser-guided bombs 
 that destroyed an underground facility in Baghdad. U.S. 
 officials identified the facility as a military installation, 
 but Iraqi officials said it was a bomb shelter.
1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery brought the 
 Hubble Space Telescope aboard for a tune up. The tune up 
 allowed the telescope to see further into the universe.
2000 Charles M. Schulz's last original Sunday "Peanuts" comic 
 strip appeared in newspapers. Schulz had died the day before.
2002 Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani received an honorary 
 knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II.
2008 Hollywood writers ended a 100-day strike.
2014  smiled.


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Taming the icon mess 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, February 12.

Thank you, Nancy!

If any of you have hoe mail or yahoo, or it's sbcglobal,
don't complain about not getting emails. I am not referring 
to emails form me,
If you go to http://webby.com/humor/no-sub.html, you will 
see all the hoops I am jumping through to make sure MY mail 
gets through to you. 

Very few others go to all that hassle, however, good local 
ISPs are often quite good, and you can walk oer there with 
a baseball bat, if they aren't. You'll be surprised how 
well they respond to some personal attention.

You can't do that with Verizon or hoe nail or Yahoo.

It just might be time to graduate from the childish notion,
that the horde of stalkers you enticed when you mooned them 
from the overpass in '92, are still after you. Believ me,
they aren't. And with IP-mapping the cops and the NSA and 
the repo-guys can nail your hoe-nail or yahoo mail right
to your door, even if you are in a 50 floor highrise.

Fortunately, none of the people, who know how to read an
IP-mapping, really care where you live. 

Forget that early 90's BS about AOL and Yahoo masking your
identity. That was BS then, and is even phonier now.
It is time to get a  decent address!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Arizona woman who jumped out a second floor window when her juvenile lover's mother caught them. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2003 The U.N. nuclear agency declared North Korea in violation of international treaties. The complaint was sent to the Security Council. They severely Tsk-Tskd about that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Fortune can, for her pleasure, fools advance, And toss them on the wheels of Chance. --- Juvenal (55 AD - 127 AD) What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. "I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a con- ciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right." He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first. "I'm wrong," she said. With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, "You're right!"
>From Nana I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
>From Nanarina Click on the picture for the large version Cougar prowling outside
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ker Gonzalez, 34, Marana, AZ Arizona woman jailed after she jumps out a second story window, when mom of her juvenile lover yells at her An Arizona woman jumped from the second-floor bedroom of a 15-year-old boy after his mother caught her cavorting naked with the teen last month, investigators report. Keri Gonzalez, 34, broke her ankle when she crashed to the ground outside the residence in Marana, a town 30 miles northwest of Tucson. According to the Pinal County Sheriff’s Office, Gonzalez snuck into the home after the boy’s mother fell asleep. The boy said that he and Gonzalez consumed alcohol she had brought to the home, and “had sex twice that evening” before his mother caught them in bed, deputies reported. The boy’s mother told investigators that she awoke around 2 AM on January 21 to “knocking sounds by the stairs and on the wall.” When she sought to enter her son’s room, the door was locked. When her son subsequently opened the door, his mother spotted “a naked female crouching down on the floor between the bed and wall. The mother yelled at the female to get out of her house.” After gathering her clothes, Gonzalez exited via the window. The boy’s mother spotted Gonzalez “limping as she walked down the street away from the home,” deputies noted. After fleeing the home, Gonzalez later returned to report to the boy’s mother that she had broken her ankle. The teen’s mother recognized Gonzalez as a “family acquaintance” whom she had previously caught “flirting” with her son. During a January 25 police interview, Gonzalez, who had a cast on her ankle, provided a deputy with “information which helped to verify what the mother and victim had said occurred.” She was later arrested for sexual misconduct with a minor and providing false information to police, and booked in to the county jail, where the above mug shot was taken. Tech Support Pits From: Carolyn Re: Taming the Icon Mess Dear Webby, I have lots of icons on my desktop that are so handy but it sure distracts from my picture. I have a Dell laptop, Windows XP. I have seen a couple of ways to hide the icons but would like you to tell me a safe way as I trust you more than others. I don't want to take a chance of losing them. Thanks Carolyn Dear Carolyn All the Hide-Icon programs are more nuisance than they are worth, since to get at the icons, when you need them, you still got to unhide the whole disorganized mess. And there is your key: Organize them! Make a few thematic folders on the desktop, for example Music, Pix, Alpha, Numeric, Sites, Pages, etc. Then drag your icons into the folders of their topic. Now, when you want a Music related shortcut, you click on the music folder, and tehre is all your music related stuff. And yes, you CAN make thematic sub-folders in there. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Gasoline to Remove Sticky Duct Tape I've recently experienced the same problem. I used a little bit of gasoline and it came right off, worked great! By x0breezibabix0 Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Talking to a tourist the manager of a exquisite older hostelry said "The hotel is built on an Indian reservation and part of the agreement is to allow the chief free use of the premises for the rest of his life. He is known as Big Chief Forget-me-Not because of his phenomenal memory. He is 92 and can remember the slightest detail of his life. "The travel writer took this in and as he was waiting for his cab decided to put the chief's memory to the test. "What did you have for breakfast on your 21st birthday?" said the Aussie. "Eggs," was the instant reply, and indeed the Aussie was impressed. He went off on his travel writing itinerary, right across to the east coast and on his return to the Spokane Hilton six months later was surprised to see the Indian chief still sitting in the lobby whittling away on a stick. "How", said the Aussie.(They think that is an undian greeting) "Scrambled," said the chief.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

GROAN ALERT My Aunt Myrtie was in the fertilized egg business when I was young. She had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. My aunt kept records, and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now, this took an awful lot of time. So my aunt got a set of tiny bells and attached them to her roosters so she could hear them chasing pullets. Now she could sit on the porch and still fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells. My aunt's favorite rooster was Old Fart. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Aunt Myrtie went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a ringing. O. F. had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, have his way with her and walk on to the next one. Aunt Myrtie was so proud of O.F., she entered him in the county fair. Old Fart was an overnight sensation. The judges awarded him both the No Bell Prize, and the Pullet Surprise. Obama got a No Bell price too. Apparently he snuck up on a lot of sheeple.
The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today.'"

» Julian Board Games Changed! or have they?

Today in 
1541 The city of Santiago, Chile was founded.
1554 Lady Jane Grey was beheaded after being charged with 
 treason. She had claimed the throne of England for only 
 nine days.
1733 Savannah, GA, was founded by English colonist James 
 Oglethorpe.
1870 In the Utah Territory, women gained the right to vote.
1879 The first artificial ice rink opened in North America. 
It was at Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY.
1907 A collision of the steamer Larchmont and a schooner 
 resulted in the death of more than 300 people. The incident 
 occurred off New England's Block Island.
1909 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored 
 People (NAACP) was founded.
1912 China's boy emperor Hsuan T'ung announced that he was 
 abdicating, ending the Manchu Ch'ing dynasty. Subsequently, 
 the Republic of China was established.
1940 Mutual Radio presented the first broadcast of the radio 
 play "The Adventures of Superman."
1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in 
 the U.S. to post metric distance signs.
1973 American prisoners of war were released for the first 
 time during the Vietnam conflict.
1999 U.S. President Clinton was acquitted by the U.S. Senate
 on two impeachment articles. The charges were perjury and 
 obstruction of justice.
2001 The space probe NEAR landed on the asteroid Eros. It was 
 the first time that any craft had landed on a small space rock.
2002 Princess Stephanie of Monaco and Franco Knie won a 
 defamation-of-character lawsuit against the Swiss magazine 
 "Facts." The case involved a photomontage created by the 
 magazine.
2003 The U.N. nuclear agency declared North Korea in violation 
 of international treaties. The complaint was sent to the 
 Security Council. They severely Tsk-Tskd about that.
2004 Mattel announced that "Barbie" and "Ken" were breaking up. 
 The dolls had met on the set of their first television 
 commercial together in 1961. 
2014  smiled.


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Dumping redundant restore points 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, February 11.

Thank you, Nancy!

The voting seems to have been fixed, finally!
Thanks to all who wrote to Ezinefinder or Cumuli and 
complained!

There was no apology, which seems to be tradition with
Mac users, after all, it is OUR fault for changing from 
January to February without telling them!

They did not add an approximation for the lost 10 days,
for example multiplying the Jan 31 votes by 10 to cover
the lost votes, but apparently allowed some wild voting 
for about an hour. 
Don't take the current or tonight's figures as accurate, 
but wait for tomorrow night's numbers. Hopefully by then
their system will work properly.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a fugitive who stole her step-sister's new baby. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2006 In Texas, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a quail hunt. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will. --- James Stephens
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

A man woke up one morning to find his wife packing her bags. "Where the heck are you going?" demanded the husband. The wife replied, "You know all this free sex I've been giving you all these years? Well I just found out I can get $200 a shot for it out in Las Vegas." With that the husband jumped out of bed and began packing HIS bags, too. "Where do you think you're going?" demanded the wife. "I want to see how you can live in Las Vegas on $400 a year!"
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sits for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?, " they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Jeez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a @#$%& lawyer!?"
Click on the picture for the large version Niagara at night Rare shot from above.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kristen Smith Jailed for stealing infant from step sister An hour after a woman reported her newborn son missing from a Wisconsin home, police were questioning her step-sister — found with a prosthetic pregnancy belly, baby clothes and a stroller, but no baby, according to court documents. It was more than 24 hours after Kayden Powell went missing before authorities discovered the infant, less than a week old, in a plastic storage crate outside an Iowa gas station, miraculously alive and well despite frigid temperatures. Kristen Smith of Denver had pretended to be pregnant, went to Wisconsin and stole her step-sister's baby from his bassinet as his parents slept, court documents say. Then, as police closed in on her, she allegedly abandoned the infant, who was swaddled in blankets. Federal prosecutors in Madison charged Smith with kidnapping Friday afternoon, hours after an Iowa police chief found Kayden. The discovery of the infant shortly after 10 a.m. Friday capped a frantic search that involved police officers in Wisconsin, Illinois and Iowa. It began after the boy's mother, Brianna Marshall, called police around 4:30 a.m. Thursday to report her newborn had vanished from Bennett's home, where she and the baby's father, Bruce Powell, had been staying, according to police and the affidavit. Marshall, the mother, said Smith, the step-sister, had left the house a couple of hours earlier to return to Colorado. While police were at the house, Smith called on her cellphone. She told police that Marshall and Bruce Powell were planning to move to Denver on Saturday to live with her and she had Kayden's clothes in her car but didn't have the boy. Police told her to pull over for questioning. An officer met her at a Kum & Go gas station near Interstate 80 in West Branch, Iowa. She was arrested about 5:30 a.m. on an outstanding Texas warrant, but she denied any knowledge of Kayden's whereabouts, the affidavit says. A search of her cellphone revealed emails in which she said she gave birth on Feb. 5, according to the court document. A search of her Facebook page turned up postings in which she claimed she was pregnant. Smith didn't appear pregnant, according to the affidavit. A pregnancy test that was administered while she was in custody came back negative, U.S. Attorney John Vaudreuil said. Meanwhile, dozens of officers began searches for the child at possible stop-offs along Smith's route from Wisconsin to Iowa. West Branch Police Chief Mike Horihan decided to check the area around a BP station about 500 yards from the station where Smith was arrested. He heard a baby's cries and discovered Kayden in a closed storage crate alongside the building. The newborn was responsive and healthy, the chief said. "I had tears in my eyes," BP station manager Jay Patel said, recalling his reaction to the police chief telling him that the infant had been found. "It's good news, but it's sad, too." Temperatures in West Branch, about 180 miles southwest of the Town of Beloit, dipped below zero Thursday night into Friday. They were still in the single digits when the baby was found. "Surprisingly with the weather the way it was, he was surprisingly healthy," Horihan, the Iowa police chief, said. "To be honest with you, that's not what I expected." The baby was taken to an Iowa City hospital, where he was reunited with his parents and released Friday evening. Online court records didn't list a defense attorney for Smith. She faces life in prison if convicted. Police interviewed Smith again after Kayden was discovered, the affidavit said, and she admitted she had taken the baby and left him at the BP station. Smith appears to go by multiple names and has had run-ins with the law in multiple states, authorities said. The Texas warrant stems from a felony indictment charging her with tampering with government documents late last year while she was in jail in Colorado. They don't know why Colorado released her instead of extraditing her to Texas. Somebody might get yelled at over that. Tech Support Pits From: Sandie Re: Dumping restore points Dear Webby, Should I do this suggestion below, a lady I know sent this and said doing this may help clear up some space???? Sandie How to free up disk space by removing old restore points. Click start, all programs, accessories, system tools, clean up. The clean up wizard appears and scans the drive on which windows is installed (usually C ). After it scans click OK then "More options" "Remove restore points". Wizard asks if you want to remove all but the last restore point, if so click OK. Then confirm OK. Sandie Dear Sandie IF and when you are running out of space, then you may want to think about that. Until then, don't worry about it. The restore points are just text and don't amount to beans. If you need space, first go after duplicates of 5MB or bigger movies. Dumping big stuff makes a much bigger difference. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Rice to Absorb Excess Moisture in Electronics I washed my cell phone in the washing machine. I got it out, took it all apart, and placed it in a bag of rice. It is working fine now :) By fancy2253 from Cincinnati, Ohio Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the Condo clubhouse, when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five finish playing the hand standing up. Then Finkelstein looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell his wife?" They draw straws and Goldberg picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. Goldberg says, "Gentlemen! Discreet? I'm the most discreet mensch you will ever meet. Discretion is my middle name, leave it to me." Then Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks what he wants. Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost five hundred dollars in a poker game and is afraid to come home." Mrs. Meyerwitz yells, "TELL HIM DEAD HE SHOULD DROP!" And Goldberg says, "Okay, I'll go tell him."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A school bus full of kindergarten students was taking the children home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian. The children began discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child came to a different conclusion. "They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
Groan Alert! Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons? Marriage is the mourning after the knot before. Banning the bra was a big flop A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

» Julian Lennon's Lens

Today in 
1752 The Pennsylvania Hospital opened as the very first 
 hospital in America.
1808 Judge Jesse Fell experimented by burning anthracite coal 
 to keep his house warm. He successfully showed how clean the 
 coal burned and how cheaply it could be used as a heating fuel.
1812 The term "gerrymandering" had its beginning when the 
 governor of Massachusetts, Elbridge Gerry, signed a 
 redistricting law that favored his party.
1858 A French girl, Bernadette Soubirous, claimed to have 
 seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Lourdes.
1929 The Lateran Treaty was signed. Italy now recognized 
 the independence and sovereignty of Vatican City.
1936 Pumping began the process to build San Francisco's 
 Treasure Island.
1937 General Motors agreed to recognize the United Automobile 
 Workers Union, which ended the current sit-down strike.
1960 Jack Paar walked off while live on the air on the 
 "Tonight Show" with four minutes left. He did this in 
 response to censors cutting out a joke from the show 
 the night before.
1979 Nine days after the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini 
 returned to Iran (after 15 years in exile) power was 
 seized by his followers.
1982 France nationalized five groups of major industries 
 and 39 banks.
1990 Nelson Mandela was freed after 27 years in captivity.
1990 In Tokyo, Japan, James "Buster" Douglas knocked out 
 Mike Tyson in the tenth round to win the heavyweight 
 championship.
2000 The space shuttle Endeavor took off. The mission 
 was to gather information for the most detailed map of 
 the earth ever made.
2000 Great Britain suspended self-rule in Northern Ireland 
 after the Irish Republican Army (IRA) failed to begin 
 decommissioning (disarming) by a February deadline.
2002 The six stars on NBC's "Friends" signed a deal for 
 $24 million each for the ninth and final season of 
 the series.
2006 In Texas, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally 
 shot and wounded a companion during a quail hunt.
2014  smiled.


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Restore trashed spam 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, February 9.


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a guy in Floriduh, who used Baby Stroller, Pickup Truck, Wrench and broom handle in Lakeland Attack Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State Department was riddled with Communists. This was the beginning of "McCarthyism." Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. --- Bishop Sheen Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. --- Lee Trevino
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "Called in Sick yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
>From Kat Thanks to Kati for this report: New Sign in Bank Lobby Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender. MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ********************************************** FEMALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up required distance to align car window with machine 3. Set parking brake, put window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with PIN written on inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into appropriate slot. 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.
Click on the picture for the large version sky-whale-pigeon-point
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jamaal Tarshae Johnson, 21, Lakeland, Floriduh Baby Stroller, Pickup Truck, Socket Wrench Broom Handle Used in Lakeland Attack A baby stroller. A socket wrench. A Ford pickup. A broom handle. And a revolver. A 21-year-old man was in jail Monday, accused of hitting or threatening a childhood acquaintance with all five items Friday because he was unhappy about how his pickup was running. Jamaal Tarshae Johnson of 3109 Crystal Hills Loop S., Lakeland, faces an assortment of charges, including aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, because he pointed a gun at Randall Settles, 22, of Fletcher Avenue, Lakeland, according to a Polk County Sheriff's Office arrest report. Settles had been working on Johnson's 1999 Ford F-250 for a week and a half before Friday's incident, according to the report. The two men have known each other since they were children, the report said. Johnson was unhappy with how it was running after a test drive near 3018 Crystal Hills Drive, Lakeland, and Settles explained that he couldn't fix the truck any better without parts. After Settles left to walk home, Johnson followed him with the truck and struck him from behind in an empty lot. The impact threw Settles about 10 feet and knocked him to the ground, the report said. The arrest report said Johnson got out of the truck and began hitting Settles with a broom handle, which Johnson allegedly used to beat Settles. Then came the revolver, which John allegedly pointed at Settles. Then there was more, according to The Ledger: As the altercation continued, Johnson went back to his truck and "armed himself with a baby stroller," swinging it in the direction of Settles... Johnson then grabbed a socket wrench and threw it through the open window of the car, hitting Settles in the face. A friend drove Settles to a convenience store, where an ambulace picked him up. Settles was rushed by ambulance to Lakeland Regional Medical Center where he was treated for various injuries. Johnson is charged including aggravated battery and assault with a deadly weapon. Tech Support Pits FFrom: Betty Re: Restoring trashed spam Dear Webby, I have Mailwasher and have tried to restore some email recently for the first time and cannot get it to restore. Can you help me. I get the message that the restored mail is being sent to ****@sbcglobal.net. Then I get an error message that the connection to the in coming server was reset, check the Internet connection, which I did and it seemed ok to me. What do I need to do to correct the problem. Thank you, Betty Dear Betty In MailWasher, go to TOOLS, OPTIONS, GENERAL SET SMTP Server You have to set the same SMTP server as in your email program. I know it's a nuisance when you travel and use different connections every night, but without that, MailWasher can't send the retrieved mail from your 3-day spam trash to your yahoo/sbcglobal mailbox. If you use SMTP2go it is a lot simpler. Basically, MailWasher has to act like outgoing meil, and send the restored mail to your incoming mail, as if it had just arrived and not been dumped into Spam. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Put Alarm Sticker in Your Window If you don't have a house alarm, you can always put an alarm system sticker in your window anyways! It may help deter burglars. Also, a car alarm can be used, if you can sleep with your car alarm remote with you. If you hear someone trespassing, hit the the panic button! If your car is close enough it will sound and hopefully scare the burglar away. By Selina from Hollywood, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably. "All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know..... I don't eat cats."
'BAMA U DICTIONARY OF MEDICAL TERMS Anti-Body - against everyone Artery - study of paintings Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria Barium - what to do when treatment fails Bowel - letters lik A E I O or U Caesarean Section - a district in Rome Cardiology - advanced study of poker playing Cat Scan - searching for ones lost kitty Cauterize - made eye contact with her Colic - sheep dog Coma - punctuation mark Congenital - friendly D & C - where Washington is Dilate - to live long Enema - not a friend Fester - quicker Genes - blue denim slacks Genital - non-Jewish Hangnail - coat hook Hemorrhoid - a male From outer space Herpes - what women do in the Ladies Room Hormones - what a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid Impotent - distinguished, well known Inpatient - tired of waiting Labor Pain - hurt at work Medical Staff - a doctor's cane Minor Operation - coal digging Morbid - a higher bid Nitrate - cheaper than the Day Rate Node - was aware of Organic - organ repairman Outpatient - a person who has fainted Paralyze - two far-fetched stories Pharmacist - person who makes a living dealing in agriculture Post-Operative - a letter carrier Protein - in favor of young people Recovery Room - place to upholster furniture Rectum - what happened to the Corvette Rheumatic - amorous Saline - where you go on your boyfriend's boat Secretion - hiding something Tablet - a small table Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport Tibia - country in North Africa Tumor - an extra pair Urine - opposite of You're Out Varicose - nearby Vein - conceited

» Sochi

Today in 
1825 The U.S. House of Representatives elected John Quincy 
 Adams president. No candidate had received a majority of 
 electoral votes.
1861 The Provisional Congress of the Confederate States of 
 America elected Jefferson Davis as its president.
1870 The United States Weather Bureau was authorized by 
 Congress. The bureau is officially known as the National 
 Weather Service (NWS).
1884 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny executed a patent 
 application for a chemical recording stock quotation 
 telegraph (U.S. Pat. 314,115).
1885 The first Japanese arrived in Hawaii.
1895 Volley Ball was invented by W.G. Morgan.
1895 The first college basketball game was played as 
 Minnesota State School of Agriculture defeated the 
 Porkers of Hamline College, 9-3.
1900 Dwight F. Davis put up a new tennis trophy to go to 
 the winner in matches against England. The trophy was a 
 silver cup that weighed 36 pounds.
1932 America entered the 2-man bobsled competition for the 
 first time at the Olympic Winter Games held at Lake 
 Placid, NY.
1942 The U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff held its first formal 
 meeting to coordinate military strategy during World War II.
1942 Daylight-saving "War Time" went into effect in the U.S.
1943 During World War II, the battle of Guadalcanal ended 
 with an American victory over Japanese forces.
1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State Department 
 was riddled with Communists. This was the beginning of 
 "McCarthyism."
1953 The movie "Superman" premiered.
1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight.
1971 The San Fernando Valley experienced the Sylmar earthquake 
 that registered 6.4 on the Richter Scale.
1971 The Apollo 14 spacecraft returned to Earth after mankind's 
 third landing on the moon.
1975 The Russian Soyuz 17 returned to Earth.
2001 "Hannibal," the sequel to "Silence of the Lambs", opened.
2014  smiled.


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Installing Linux instead of IE 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, February 8.

I got hit with the worst flu of my live. Eyes watering,
air panic when coughing, thick discharge from the nose.
very painful swallowing, and zero appetite.
My voice makes John Wayne sound like a juvenile squeaker
by comparison. Quite funny when I tell a telemarketer to
HOLD and click on Accuradio.com

They might still hear my coughing, even  with the phone
sitting in front of the left speaker, but I really don't 
care. After ten minutes or so, I get the BEEP BEEP BEEP
signal telling me that they have hung up.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Married Teacher - Charged After Nude Selfie Pops Up On Revenge Porn Site Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS television. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. --- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930) -------------- Somebody should 'splain that to Al Gore and the Climate Change sheeple
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

Two very elderly friends, Max and Wally, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Wally didn't show up Max didn't think much about it, figured maybe he had a cold or some such. But after Wally hadn't shown up for a week or so Max really got worried. However, the only time they ever got together anymore (they used to play a lot of golf together) was at the park, and Max couldn't remember where Wally lived so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month passed and Max figured old Wally had gone to his heavenly reward, but one day Max approached the park and, lo and behold, there sat Wally! Max was very excited and happy to see him and told him so! Then he said, "For crying out loud Wally, what happened to you???" Wally replied, "I have been in jail." "Jail???," cried Max!! "What in the world for???" "Well," Wally said, "You know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where we sometimes get coffee?" "Yeah" said MAX, "I remember her. What about her?" "Well one day last month she got mad at me and to get even, she charged me with rape. I was so proud of what everyone would think an old fart like me could still do, that when I got into court, I pled 'Guilty'. The judge then took a good look at me and gave me 30 days for perjury."
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?" "Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues... "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 >years?'" "I remember that too" she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today.
Click on the picture for the large version sky-whale-pigeon-point
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jamie Climie, 36, West Chester, OH Married Teacher - Charged After Nude Selfie Pops Up On Revenge Porn Site Jamie Climie, a 36-year-old married teacher at Cincinnati Hills Christian Academy, has been charged after she allegedly lied to police when nude self-taken photographs popped up on a revenge-porn website. According to West Chester police, Climie was arrested late last month after investigators learned that a mobile phone that she had reported stolen, went missing for an entirely different reason. The trouble began when nude photographs of the 5th grade science teacher appeared on the revenge-porn website myex.com back on November 23. Below the images appeared a message which states "Jaimie is married, has children, and works for Cincinnati Hills Christian Academy. She loves showing off her fake tits to anyone willing to give her attention." Investigators say Climie lied to officers on November 24 when she reported that her iPhone had been stolen from her residence. Climie also told investigators that her phone contained racy photographs that she had taken for her husband. Climie resigned from her teaching position at the school on November 30 when news of the photographs reached school officials. At the time, Climie and her husband told local news outlets that they were working with law enforcement to catch the suspect responsible for stealing the phone that contained the nude images. A forensic investigation of Climie's cellphone records and IP address backtracking revealed, however, that Climie sent at least one of the photographs to someone other than her husband prior to the date she claimed that the phone had been stolen. Charges were filed on Jan 16 and a warrant was issued for her arrest. She reportedly turned herself in to police 5 days later. Climie was charged with second-degree obstruction of official business and then released on her own recognizance. Her crime was not the pictures, she is quite cute enough, but lying to the cops. It would be interesting to find out who posted the pictures, whether she had broken a student's heart, or whether she stopped an affair with a grown-up. Tech Support Pits From: Candy Re: Migrating to Linux Dear Webby, I have internet explorer. How do I go about getting Linux for my computer? Thank you. Candy Dear Candy Linux is not a browser, it is an operating system, a very good one! 99.99% of all web servers, that serve the pages, when you browse, and 60% of the POS (Point Of Sale) computers in stores use Linux, the other 40% use Windows XP, and will jump to Linux the day they can't continue to use XP. The Ezinefinder, that is stuck in January, uses a Mac server. Unlike Windows, it does not keep crashing, and for getting actual work done, it is pretty well impossible to beat. To migrate to Linux first get used to Open Office or Office Libre. They are free equivalents of the expensive Microsoft Office. On Linux you use Open Office or Office Libre. Like almost everything on Linux, they are free. And get comfortable with FireFox for your browser. It is better anyway, and works exactly the same on Linux as in Windows. For email, try Thunderbird. It was built with Eudora's source code and has the same reliability and features, but the features are voluntary, only what you choose, not the whole shebang installed automatically. If you like Outlook, try Evolution. Again, same as everyting on Linux, there are a lot more to choose from, and they ar all free. If all the Penguins in your LUG use a certain program, use that program for a start. They will know all the tricks and features. You can always switch to a different program later. The idea is to get good and comfortable with all the programs, that you will be using. Then get used to a graphics program, that has a Linux version. Most of them do, Once you are comfortable with those programs, have a look for a LUG in your area. A LUG is a Linux User Group, where all the Penguins hang out. Linux users are usually called Penguins. Join some LUGs, they are usually Online Forums. Some are nice and friendly, some have mouthy kids, who probably know a lot, but have not yet learned diplomacy. Dump those and stick with the friendly ones, Just lurk for a while and see who on that group is the most knowledgeable and friendly. You will soon pick up the lingo. On friendly LUGs it is quite OK to ask dumb questions like "What is a Live CD" and where can I get one. Sooner or later you will have to ask that question. A "Live CD" is a CD, that lets you boot from it into Linux, without formatting your computer. You basically run Linux off that CD. The people on that LUG will by that time know enough about you, so that they can recommend a certain flavor of Linux. If you don't like that flavor of Linux, don't be shy on the forum. Having tried a Live CD makes you a Penguin, an Insider. There are dozens of different flavors of Linux. Sooner or later you will find one, that you like, and from each flavor, you will learn something. Then all of a sudden you realize that you are enjoying yourself, and even answering question on the forum. Once you have decided on a certain flavor of Linux, then you can install it on your computer, so that it will ask you on boot-up: Windows or Linux Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Hair Color to Combat Head Lice I brought up 5 children and when one got lice, they all got lice. It is not a very funny subject in that you have to wash and dry everything in the house. The medication is not really great so I used hair dye on them. Each child's hair was dyed the same color it was before they had lice. I found the hair coloring killed the lice better than any prescription medication ever did. Boy, was I thankful when they got older and there were no more lice infestations! By gem Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car. "If we decided to live there permanently, away from civil- ization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife. She replied, "You." ------------- Sounds familiar. Where are you now, Marilee? Still alive?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

This has been nominated for best email of 1999. The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. So the story begin: Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service" RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"! ; G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS : "Hokay. An San tos?" G: "What?" RS:"San tos. July San tos?" G: "I don't think so" RS: "No? Judo one toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes means." RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes,an English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bother?" G: "No..just put the bother on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Sorry?" RS: "Copy...tea...mill?" G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say" RS: "Tendjewberrymud" G : "You're welcome"
>From Liz Everybody's a comedian. I called my local home improvement store for a simple piece of advice. "I know the Sheetrock is nailed to the studs," I said to the guy who answered the phone, "but how do I find the studs?" "Call me after 5 or put an ad in the personals column." he suggested.

» Sunrise

Today in 
1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock.
1861 The Confederate States of America was formed.
1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted 
a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal 
government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 
600-square mile reservation and annuity payments.
1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were 
 beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River.
1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking 
 Russian forces in Manchuria.
1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her 
 father, George VI, had died on February 6.
1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba and 
 made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba illegal 
 for U.S. citizens.
1963 Lamar Hunt, owner of the American Football League 
 franchise in Dallas, TX, moved the operation to Kansas 
 City. The new team was named the Chiefs.
1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned 
 to Earth after 84 days.
1978 The U.S. Senate deliberations were broadcast on radio 
 for the first time. The subject was Panama Canal treaties.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to 
 re-introduce draft registration.
1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on 
 CBS television.
1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" 
 had rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM 
 pickups were prone to fires after certain types of crashes. 
 The suit was settled the following day by NBC.
2014  smiled.


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What is an SMTP? And what is SMTP2go? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, February 6.
Did my walk today at Costco. A lot more fun than at 
-35 wind chill outside. And at Costco they give you
all kinds of different new foods about every 1/8 mile.
Usually the foods are nicely contrasting. One station 
might have three bite chunks of deep dish pizza, the
next might be a tangy 4-bean salad, then some crackers 
with chunky salsa, then some Greek yoghurt, and so on.

I just had to go pick up my meds, but naturally, I hiked
the store, enjoyed all the samples, and even bought a 
few items.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to A Floriduh nut wo was jailed for setting an apartment fire because a manager told him to stop masturbating in front of the window. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2000 Russia's acting President Vladimir Putin announced that Russian forces had captured Grozny, Chechnya. The capital city had been under the control of Chechen rebels. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) I homesteaded in the Yukon, and built my own road. Next time I do that in Florida. --- DearWebby
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him. Yet the feeling persisted. When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried, "Daddy, where's Mommy?"
>From Beth A lot of people wonder how you know if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this one question: "Would I mind being destroyed financially by this person?"
Click on the picture for the large version Photo Bomber
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kenneth Haskins,58, Tampa, Floriduh Jailed for setting apartment fire because manager told him to stop masturbating Reported by the Huffington Post If I can't masturbate in front of the window, nobody can. That's the attitude Florida man Kenneth Haskins may have had when he allegedly set his apartment complex on fire Sunday night, leaving four people homeless. The 58-year-old Tampa resident reportedly used flammable liquids to start the blaze because he wanted to get back at the complex's management company, Mar Plaza, Tampa Bay Times reports. Recently, management told him he needed to stop masturbating in front of his windows and front door, police told the paper. Haskins reportedly admitted to starting the fire to exact his revenge. No injuries were reported after the fire, which started at about 10 p.m. Bay News reports that firefighters had to evacuate more than 28 units and four were damaged, including Haskins'. Mar Plaza is a community of about 80 small apartments, serving low-income and disabled residents, according to the International Business Times. Haskins has lived there for more than a decade. Previously, his face was disfigured when he shot himself with a shotgun, police said. He didn't previously have a criminal history in Florida. He was charged with first-degree arson on Monday. He's being held in the Orient Road Jail without bail. Tech Support Pits From: Gordon Re: SMTP, wassat? Dear Webby, I have heard that term quite frequently, but nobody has ever been able to 'splain it satisfactorily. Most IT people claim it is some big, huge server, that can handle Gazzilions of emails, but that will shut me down without warning if I fail to obbey the stuff on page 47 of the user agreement. And now you got one of them "big huge servers" TO GO? You better explain that stuff so mere mortals can understand it! Thanks Gordon Dear Gordon I will ignore what it actually is, an agreed on protocol. That is sort of like the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. Kinda vague, and not everybody agrees with it.. In reality it is the nickname for the part of a web server, that is the port, through which your email enters the net. Your email gets stamped by the SMTP (use that as a memory bridge) with the date and time and IP number of where your mail entered the net. If you send a threatening email to a certain Kenyan, the cops can look at the stamp and see that it was YOUR IP number. The SMTP also does a bunch of checking to make sure your email obeys the agreed on protocols. If it is OK, and with most email programs it will be OK, and if you are authorized to use that SMTP port, then the email is sent out towards the destination. That "authorized" bit is the snag. It prevents a spammer from using your ISP's SMTP port to send out tons of spam. You can send valentines cards to all your 300 Sweeties, no matter where they are, because YOU are authorized by your ISP. The spammer isn't. And if your ISP's SMTP port catches you spamming, then you will be cut off without warning, instantly and automatically. You won't even be able to write to your ISP about it. Such is the power of the SMTP port. At home your authorization is established by your DSL modem / router or your cable modem / router or even by your dial-up log-in. No problem there. The SMTP knows you are legit. However, if you are at a motel or hamburger joint or donut shop, the WiFi works fine and you can browse at acceptable speeds, but you can't send email. To make sure that no spammer comes in, buys a coffee and a donut, and then sends out a Million spams, they simply don't let their SMTP accept anybody except the manager. Here is where you need that SMTP2go. With that you got an SMTP port, that will recognize YOU, no matter where you are, at home, at the donut shop, at McDonalds in Peking, at Walmart on Mars, anywhere. There is also another important consideration. Most ISPs DEMAND, that you use their name after the @, not your own domain name, unless you pay $100 extra for a business account. With SMTP2go you can use gordon@gordonsboats.com as your FROM and REPLY-TO address. For business people that makes a huge difference. Try it out for free, and if you like it, get their $4.50 plan. Even without a big business, it is a lot nicer to send email with YOUR chosen address. I register domain names for $10 per year. Other registrars do it for $15 to $75 Hosting a small site is $4.50 a month, and nobody censors it except you, as long as it is reasonably legal. Then you can send mail as sexy@inthedungeon.net via your SMTP2go and receive mail at your domain. There you can use any email program you want. Information Overload? Ask me about details, that are not quite clear. By the way, inthedungeon.net is still available on a first come, first served basis. Whoever orders it first, gets it. amongstflowers.com is also still available. inthepew.com is still available. Tell me what you want, and I'll find you a suitable name. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusable Refills for Swiffer I purchase microfiber dish towels at the dollar store. Since they're not very good for drying dishes because they do not absorb water, I use them for my Swiffer to clean my kitchen and bathroom floor. I just wet them down with warm water, wring them out then place them over the Swiffer and scrub the floor. They're washable, thus reusable and I don't have to spend the big bucks for refills. Source: Got the idea from my friend Julia. She does the same thing By Kathy Microfiber dishtowels absorb a cup full of water, if you treat them right. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER dry them in the dryer with a sheet of Bounce or similar anti-static! That makes them repel water! Just wring them out and hang them up. For drying dishes, which seems to be a lost art with today's dish soaps, that let everything dry without drop marks, lightly wet the microfiber cloth and wring it out HARD, as hard as you can. It won't hurt it, even when I do it. Then use that slightly damp microfiber cloth for drying and polishing dishes and silverware. It is the same on the floor. Until the microfiber is wet or at least damp, it does not do anything. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
From Lil The fragrance department of a major New York City store where I shop is always pushing the latest scents. Attractive models move about the floor offering to spray customers with the newest bouquet. One day, outside the store's restaurant, a model sprayed two women who had just finished their lunch. When one woman com- mented that the perfume was too strong, the model replied, "The fragrance will be softer once the alcohol wears off." "See!" her friend chided. "I told you not to have that second drink."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The new family in the neighborhood overslept, and their six- year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work, had to drive her if she'd direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes - but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a block from their home. The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she'd led him around in such a circle. The child explained, "That's the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It's the only way I know."
>from Victor I was working as a student operator at Michigan Tech. One particularly trying afternoon, the system was merrily crashing for a number of reasons. After about four such spectacles, we broadcast that the computer would be down for the remainder of the afternoon. There was a resigned groan from the users and they began to file out of the Center, except for one comely young woman with wide blue eyes who wandered up to the counter and queried: "What's wrong with the computer?" Too tired and irritated to give her a straight answer, I looked her straight in the eye and replied: "Broken muffler belt." A look of deep concern wafted into her expression as she asked: "Oh, that's bad. Can you call Midas?"

» Pesky Critters

1778 The United States gained official recognition from France
1815 The state of New Jersey issued the first American railroad 
 charter to John Stevens.
1899 The U.S. Senate ratified a peace treaty between the U.S. 
 and Spain.
1900 The Holland Senate ratified the 1899 peace conference 
 decree that created in international arbitration court at 
 The Hague.
1911 The first old-age home for pioneers opened in Prescott, AZ.
1926 The National Football League adopted a rule that made 
 players ineligible for competition until their college class 
 graduated.
1932 Dog sled racing happened for the first time in Olympic 
 competition.
1952 Britain's King George VI died. His daughter, Elizabeth II, 
 succeeded him.
1959 The U.S., for the first time, successfully test-fired a Titan 
 intercontinental ballistic missile from Cape Canaveral.
1971 NASA Astronaut Alan B. Shepard used a six-iron that he 
 had brought inside his spacecraft and swung at three golf 
 balls on the surface of the moon.
1972 Over 500,000 pieces of irate mail arrived at the mail 
 room of CBS-TV, when word leaked out that an edited-for-TV 
 version of the X-rated movie, "The Demand," would be shown.
1985 The French mineral water company, Perrier, debuted 
 its first new product in 123 years. The new items were water 
 with a twist of lemon, lime or orange.
1987 President Ronald Reagan turned 76 years old this day and 
 became the oldest U.S. President in history.
1998 Washington National Airport was renamed for U.S. 
 President Ronald Reagan with the signing of a bill by 
 U.S. President Clinton.
1999 King Hussein of Jordan transferred full political power 
 to his oldest son the Crown Prince Abdullah.
1999 Excerpts of former White House intern Monica Lewinsky's 
 videotaped testimony were shown at President Clinton's 
 impeachment trial.
1999 Heavy fighting resumed along the common border between 
 Ethiopia and Eritrea.
2000 Russia's acting President Vladimir Putin announced that 
 Russian forces had captured Grozny, Chechnya. The capital 
 city had been under the control of Chechen rebels.
2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton formally declared 
 that she was a candidate for a U.S. Senate seat from the 
 state of New York. It was a secure seat with no competition.
2001 Ariel Sharon was elected Israeli prime minister.
2002 A federal judge ordered John Walker Lindh to be held 
 without bail pending trial. Lindh was known as the 
 "American Taliban."
2014  smiled.


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Bouncing spam? DONT! 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, February 5.
-26 and windy. I skipped my walk today. 

When I was living in the bush in the Yukon, after a -40 spell,
that would have been quite comfortable and great weather to 
go cut and sled some firewood. A dozen years here in Alberta
have softened me up and though I COULD look for some long
underwear and dress properly, since it is not really 
necessary, I stayed inside.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Nebraska teacher, who was jailed for having sex 50 - 60 times with a 15 year old. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1999 Mike Tyson was sentenced to a year in jail for assaulting two people after a car accident on August 31, 1998. Tyson was also fined $5,000, had to serve 2 years of probation, and had to perform 200 hours of community service upon release. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! --- Tom Lehrer (1928 - )
If you are traveling or have a dynamic IP address, or occasionally send from McDonalds or a coffee shop, then you need SMTP2go for reliable and uncensored email SENDING. AND, Most ISPs demand that you use THEIR name after the @, instead of your chosen domain name. With SMTP2go you can use YOUR domain name, even if you travel or are at a Hotspot downtown. Send email from anywhere without ANY hassle with SMTP2go.

Thanks to Kati for this story: Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's me husband?" "That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw his crutches down the stairs. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Uh, he's over there by the holy water, sprawled on the floor, and cussing up a real storm."
Click on the picture for the large version Hongkong skyline from Victoria peak
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carrie Miller, 24, Tecumseh, NE Teacher - Charged With Repeatedly Having Sex With 15 Year Old Student Reported by the Weekly Vice Carrie Miller, a 24-year-old Spanish teacher at Johnson County Central High School, was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly had sex with a 15-year-old student. According to the Johnson County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched Monday after allegations surfaced accusing Miller of having sexual contact with a minor student 50 to 60 times during the fall of 2012. Investigators say several of the alleged sexual encounters took place at an abandoned farmstead in Nemaha County and were often arranged over text messages and calls to the boy's mobile phone. Miller reportedly turned herself in after a warrant had been issued for her arrest. She was booked into jail and charged with sexual assault and using an electronic device to entice a minor. Her bond has been set at $25,000. ------- Bonehead, or Bimbo-malfunction? I know teachers have always messed around, but they used to be a lot pickier about who they chose. The only writing used to be fancy poetry, extremely careful and without naming any names, always assuming that the poetry WOULD fall into the wrong hands. Tech Support Pits From: Ella Re: Bouncing Spam Dear Webby, I have always been bouncing spam back at the sender, but now my daughter told me that you had written once that was a dumb idea. She couldn't remember the details, though, and told me to write you myself. So, what's the story with bouncing spam? Ella Dear Ella The only email to bounce is when your mother-in-law writes that she will come for an uninvited but extended visit. Spammers never use their own address as the sender address, and often they even forge the recipient's address as the sender address. Not all, but some spammers use a collector address to catch all the bounces. They can tell if the mail was bounced by a spam control program. A fake bounce to them is confirmation that the address works, and they sell it as "guaranteed live". Except for the one exception mentioned above, bouncing does not work in your favor. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bleach to Clean Hard Surfaces A 22 oz. bottle of Clorox Spray Cleaner for hard surfaces costs about $3.00 per bottle. If you check the ingredients list, it will indicate 1% sodium hypochlorite (aka bleach) and 99% H20 (aka water). Make your own and save yourself the cash when your 3 dollar bottle runs out! By Nan from Texas Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
*Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire* 1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand) 6. Light Match 7. Light Match 8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene." 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Relabel can to read "gasoline." 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. When thunderstorm has passed, repeat steps.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Man to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald. Ticket Agent, Searching Book: Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway? Man: Over there. He's my brother-in-law.
From Ella While walking through a parking lot, I slipped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?" "No, I'm fine," I said, touched by her concern. "Oh, good," she continued. "So will you be vacating that parking space soon?"

» Wind Blown

Today, February 5, in
1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British.
1783 Sweden recognized the independence of the United States.
1861 Samuel Goodale patented the moving picture peep show 
 machine.
1885 Congo State was established under Leopold II of Belgium, 
 as a personal possession.
1917 Mexico's constitution was adopted.
1924 The BBC time signals, or "pips", from Greenwich Observatory 
 were heard for the first time. They are broadcast every hour.
1931 Maxine Dunlap became the first woman licensed as a 
 glider pilot.
1952 In New York City, four signs were installed at 44th Street 
 and Broadway in Times Square that told pedestrians "don't walk."
1958 Gamel Abdel Nasser was formally nominated to become the 
 first president of the United Arab Republic.
1962 French President Charles De Gaulle called for Algeria's 
 independence. 
1982 Great Britain imposed economic sanctions against Poland 
and Russia in protest against martial law in Poland.
1988 A pair of indictments were unsealed in Florida, accusing 
 Panama's military leader, Gen. Manuel Antonio Noriega, of 
 bribery and drug trafficking.
1997 Switzerland's "Big Three" banks announced they would 
 create a $71 million fund for Holocaust victims and 
 their families.
1999 Mike Tyson was sentenced to a year in jail for assaulting 
 two people after a car accident on August 31, 1998. Tyson 
 was also fined $5,000, had to serve 2 years of probation, 
 and had to perform 200 hours of community service upon release.
2003 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell presented evidence 
 to the U.N. concerning Iraq's material breach of U.N. 
 Resolution 1441.
2014  smiled.


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Humor: Computer set-up when moving to a different town 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, February 3.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Atlanta man who stole a tow truck and used it to steal stranded cars from their snowapocalypse. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold for $103.7 million. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. --- Edward De Bono God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

"Look at ME!!" boasted the fit old man, pounding a very flat and firm stomach, having just finished 100 sit-ups before a group of young people. "Fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why?? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after loose women!!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, "And tomorrow, YAHOO, I'm going to celebrate my *95th* birthday!!!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How? With an extra bran muffin?"
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old nuns in the car - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that "22" was the highway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be alright in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119." 119 is a gravel highway, one lane in each direction. When the cop relayed the event to the dispatcher, he was told: You better shoot them down before they get to the 401!" (The 401 is now #1, the Highway of Heroes, named that to honor the soldiers, who died in service in Afghanistan.)
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Aurora Astralis from space
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Louis Mitchell Jr., 34, Atlanta, GA an Atlanta man who stole a tow truck and used it to steal stranded cars from their snowapocalypse. A 34-year-old man is accused of using a tow truck to take cars that were abandoned in Atlanta during the winter storm and traffic jam. Police said Louis Mitchell Jr. was arrested Thursday and charged with auto theft, forgery and other offenses. Atlanta Police Sgt. Greg Lyon told The Atlanta Journal- Constitution (http://bit.ly/1gz4aKo) that a police officer saw an unmarked tow truck pulling a car. The truck fled when the officer tried stopping it. The driver and passenger fled the truck during the chase withut stopping it, sending it crashing. Investigators say the tow truck was stolen this month. It was pulling a Toyota that was stranded on Interstate 85. The investigation led police to five other cars taken from highways. Mitchell is being held in the Fulton County jail on five counts of theft by taking auto, three counts of second-degree forgery and one count each of criminal damage to property, affixing a license plate to conceal, and driving with a suspended license, according to records. His next court appearance is Feb. 14 at the Fulton County Justice Center. Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Moving Dear Webby, My question and PLEASE don't laugh because I never did this before and I don't know how. This is my very first computer. I have things on here, by checking acct., bills I pay online, other web sites, stored things like recipes etc., How do I go about changing addresses on all of them if I have to move and once moved will my computer still have all the info once plugged back in? Seriously Webby, I DO NOT know that's why I'm asking you. You never steered me wrong before. Thank You. Chris Dear Chris It depends on how far you are going to move. If you move to the moon, then your address will change from gmail to gmoon. There is also gmars, gvenus, and gheaven. There is no ghell. If you go to hell, you'll have to use Yahell. However, if you stay on earth, then your gmail email address won't change. If you use the same ISP at the new place, for example earthlink, then all you change is the dial-up number to the number of that town. If you use DSL, your ISP will provide you with a pre-programmed modem-router combo, and instructions about phoning them, once you have it unpacked and plugged in. They will, if necessary, walk you rgeough the registration. Usually it is automatic these days. Everything else will stay the same. You can change the default shipping address at DELL, Victoria's Secret, and wherever you shop, when you place your next order. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Photo Coasters Soap Makes Needles Glide Through Fabric You can stick your needles and pins in a bar of soap to make them slide into your material easier. I use the little bars that you get at the motel. You can keep them in the wrapper and it doesn't sliver off. By Mary Warren Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck. Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room. "No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and he can wait there."
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closching schong, hic, let ussch sching Hymn # 365: "Schall We Gather at, hic, the Rrriver."

» Classic Cars

Today, February 3, in
1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at 
 Mossal Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have 
 landed on the southern extremity of Africa.
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the 
 Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers 
 that were fighting in the war against Quebec.
1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States.
1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was 
 established in Switzerland.
1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed 
 it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and 
 Detroit, MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been 
 printed on a train.
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax.
1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings 
 burned down.
1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, 
 which had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare.
1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore 
 Pierre Laval to office.
1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II against Japan.
1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the 
 Moon was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX.
1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at 
 Sapporo, Japan.
1988 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected U.S. 
 President Reagan's request for at least $36.25 million 
 in aid to the Nicaraguan Contras.
1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing 
 the death of 20 skiers on a lift.
2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche 
 sold for $103.7 million. 
2014  smiled.


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How to prepare a computer for moving to a new location? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, February 2.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mom who pimped out daughter, 15, for Super Bowl sex Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1989 The final Russian armored column left Kabul, Afghanistan, after nine years of military presence. At that time the CIA had trained and equipped the Taliban to help them kick the Russians out. Like the Americans now, the Russians were not defeated in the field, but at home. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

>From Alison I had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the grocery store, I used the last of my personalized checks bearing my old address. The cashier examined the document and asked if everything on it was correct. I assured her that it was, and she started to put the check in the cash drawer. But then she inquired again if everything was accurate. "Why do you ask?" I responded. "Because," she replied, "my husband and I moved to this address last week." Then she paused while she kicked the 911 floor button a few times, and then continued: "and I don't remember seeing you at breakfast."
Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Kyiv, Ukraine. The protest running since late November, is getting more violent.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Yolanda Ostolaza, 39, Florida, now in jail in New York Mom Pimped Out Daughter, 15, For Super Bowl Sex reported by the Smoking Gun JANUARY 31--A Florida woman is jailed after making a Super Bowl week trip from her home to New York City, where she allegedly sought to pimp out her 15-year-old daughter, according to police. When questioned by cops after her arrest Wednesday, Yolanda Ostolaza, 39, admitted that, “We came up here to work and make money with a pimp. I knew it was for escorting and prostitution,” according to a misdemeanor criminal complaint. As for her child’s role in the illegal activity, Ostolaza remarked, “I thought my daughter was just going to do the fetish stuff.” Undercover vice detectives, who initially contacted the teen via an online ad, arranged to pay $200 for a sexual encounter at a Manhattan hotel. When officers later took the girl into custody, she told them her age and said that her mother was waiting for her at a nearby hotel. Ostolaza, pictured above, was subsequently charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor. She remains locked up in lieu of $2000 bail. Her daughter has been placed in the custody of child welfare officials. A New Jersey native, Ostolaza’s rap sheet includes a narcotics distribution conviction for which she was sentenced to probation. Florida court records show that Ostoloza was sued last month for eviction by the owner of the apartment complex where she resides with her family. The report did not state how many years the pair has been working as hookers or as a pimp-hooker team. Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Moving Dear Webby, My question and PLEASE don't laugh because I never did this before and I don't know how. This is my very first computer. I have things on here, by checking acct., bills I pay online, other web sites, stored things like recipes etc., How do I go about changing addresses on all of them if I have to move and once moved will my computer still have all the info once plugged back in? Seriously Webby, I DO NOT know that's why I'm asking you. You never steered me wrong before. Thank You. Chris Dear Chris It depends on how far you are going to move. If you move to the moon, then your address will change from gmail to gmoon. There is also gmars, gvenus, and gheaven. There is no ghell. If you go to hell, you'll have to use Yahoo. However, if you stay on earth, then your gmail email address won't change. If you use the same ISP at the new place, for example earthlink, then all you change is the dial-up number to the number of that town. If you use DSL, your ISP will provide you with a pre-programmed modem-router combo, and instructions about phoning them, once you have it unpacked and plugged in. They will, if necessary, walk you rgeough the registration. Usually it is automatic these days. Everything else will stay the same. You can change the default shipping address at DELL, Victoria's Secret, and wherever you shop, when you place your next order. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Photo Coasters Insert a photo into small square picture frames. Then, seal the edge where the glass meets the frame with clear caulking or a thick bead of hot glue; this will protect the picture from sweaty glasses or spills. Give a set to a grandmother and put a picture of each grandchild in each coaster, or have each child draw a special picture for each coaster and give the set to Mom. By Kelly Ann Butterbaugh Instead of a breakable and not dishwasher safe picture frame, you can get clear laminate. Some are pre-glued and have one edge open with a removable protector strip, others are heat sealed, and some are just plain sheats of heat activated laminate. Those are the best by far, though they require ironing to glue onto the picture front and back. After that, they are as sturdy and washable as security tags or lift tickets. They last forever. You can use the same method for placemats. The pictures will fade a bit after 30 years, but the laminate is still fine. Yoou can also go to the nearest truck stop, and buy laminated picture placemats for a very reasonable price. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Mr. Allen, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter, get my broker!" The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's clear voice saying, "Yes, sir, stock or pawn!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

As paramedics, my partner and I were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. We decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, I questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, I asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" He slowly looked up at me, then gazed out the ambulance window. "Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!

» The Mosaic Culture

Today, February 2, in
1536 The Argentine city of Buenos Aires was founded by 
 Pedro de Mendoza of Spain.
1653 New Amsterdam, now known as New York City, was 
 incorporated.
1848 The Mexican War was ended with the signing of the 
 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. The treaty turned over 
 portions of land to the U.S., including Texas, New Mexico, 
 Nevada, Utah, Arizona, California and parts of Colorado 
 and Wyoming. The U.S. gave Mexico $15,000,000 and assumed 
 responsibility of all claims against Mexico by American 
 citizens. Texas had already entered the U.S. on 
 December 29, 1845.
1848 The first shipload of Chinese emigrants arrived in 
 San Francisco, CA.
1863 Samuel Langhorne Clemens used a pseudonym for the 
 first time. He is better remembered by the pseudonym 
 which is Mark Twain.
1878 Greece declared war on Turkey.
1880 The S.S. Strathleven arrived in London with the 
 first successful shipment of frozen mutton from Australia.
1887 The beginning of Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA.
1892 William Painter patented the bottle cap.
1893 The Edison Studio in West Orange, NJ, made history 
 when they filmed the first motion picture close-up. The 
 studio was owned and operated by Thomas Edison.
1913 Grand Central Terminal officially opened
1935 Leonard Keeler conducted the first test of the 
 polygraph machine, in Portage, WI.
1943 During World War II, the remainder of Nazi forces from 
 the Battle of Stalingrad surrendered to the Soviets. 
 Stalingrad has since been renamed Volgograd.
1945 U.S. President Roosevelt and British Prime Minister 
 Winston Churchill left for a summit in Yalta with 
 Soviet leader Josef Stalin.
1962 The 8th and 9th planets aligned for the first time 
 in 400 years.
1971 Idi Amin assumed power in Uganda after a coup that 
 ousted President Milton Obote.
1980 The situation known as "Abscam" began when reports 
 surfaced that the FBI had conducted a sting operation 
 that targeted members of the U.S. Congress. Phony 
 Arab businessmen were used in the operation.
1989 The final Russian armored column left Kabul, 
 Afghanistan, after nine years of military occupation.
1998 U.S. President Clinton introduced the first balanced 
 budget in 30 years.
1999 Hugo Chávez Frías took office. He had been elected 
 president of Venezuela in December 1998.
2004 It was reported that a white powder had been found 
 in an office of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. The 
 CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) later 
 confirmed that the powder was the poison ricin.
2014  smiled.


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How to use a memory stick 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, February 1.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Convicted Killer Raymond Morillo, who escapes from New York psychiatric hospital a few days before scheduled release. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2003 NASA's space shuttle Columbia exploded while re-entering the Earth's atmosphere. All seven astronauts on board were killed. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) Health food makes me sick. --- Calvin Trillin (1935 - )
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

Sam and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter hit with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers," Ruth wondered. "It sure does," said Sam, looking through the owner's manual. "Here it is...rear defrosters."
Thanks to Sandie for this story: When we agreed to help our sergeant move to a new apartment, we didn't know the elevator wasn't working. So after hours of carrying heavy boxes and furniture up 11 floors, we were wiped out. And when the sergeant asked us to search for his favorite pot, no one moved. "I'll give a bottle of Scotch to whoever finds it," he shouted. Within minutes, a private found his pot. "Good," said the sarge. "Now look for the Scotch."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version One of our orchids. There are 4-5 more stems coming along, so this plant will be showy for a while forward. Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Raymond Morillo, 33, Convicted Killer Raymond Morillo Escapes From New York Psychiatric Hospital a few days before scheduled release. reported by the Huff Post Police in Tennessee captured a convicted killer who snuck out of a New York City psychiatric hospital by swapping clothes with a friend who was visiting him. Cops apprehended Raymond Morillo, 33, at a Memphis bus station on Thursday night, according to the New York Post. The capture should relieve anxieties in Queens where the Daily News reported that residents feared running into the violent felon who slipped out of the Creedmoor Psychiatric Center on Tuesday. Morillo and an accomplice were convicted of slashing the throats of two men on a subway platform in 1998, according to an earlier New York Post article. While he was out on bail for that crime, a man was fatally shot during a dispute with Morillo and a group of teenagers. Morillo completed a 14-year sentence for manslaughter and assault in December. Authorities deemed him too dangerous for release, however, and sent him to Creedmoor for further evaluations, the Daily News said. He escaped just a few days ahead of his scheduled release. The New York Police Department tracked his cellphone to the Greyhound terminal in Memphis and alerted authorities there, DNAinfo reported. NYPD officers also arrested the friend who allegedly put on Morillo's hospital uniform. They charged him with criminal impersonation and obstruction of governmental administration, the Associated Press reported. Morillo's scheduled release will be rescheduled to after serving time for escaping. Tech Support Pits From: Klaus Re: Using memory sticks Dear Webby, I have just purchased a 16 GB memory stick which when I plug it into a USB port shows up on my computer as 'USB Disk (J:)'. My question is how do I transfer files onto this memory stick from stuff on the computer and outlook express? Your help in the past has been greatly appreciated. Thanks Klaus Dear Klaus With most memory sticks you simply drag the files and folders to and from it, like it was a hard drive. It is very rare that a computer does not see and recognize them. Making shortcuts from old default directories to the USB drive really speeds things up. Find out where your Outlook deposits pictures. Go there and make a shortcut to a "Keepers" folder on the USB drive. Then when you sort out pictures, you can just drag them to that shortcut. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Phone Service Wherever You Have Wi-Fi If you have internet service anywhere (even free Wi-Fi at McDonalds), then you also have phone service. Create yourself a free Gmail email account. Then, find the telephone receiver icon on the Gmail email home page. Hit that icon, then dial the number. If you want privacy, be sure to use a headset with a microphone and earplugs, otherwise, it works as a speaker phone. I have used this when traveling. Often you can access free Wi-Fi in parking lots of major hotels, McDonalds, libraries and such. I have also used it at some of the kids camps I work at during the summer months. We have wi-fi, but are so remote our cell phones don't work. You can only call out this way (can't receive), and your number will show up differently every time you call out. But, it beats a service you have to pay for or none at all. By April You can also use Skype. Calling other Skype users is free, text or voice or video. You can also be called by other Skype users. Calling land lines and cell phones is about 2 cents per minute. The downside is that after Microsoft bought Skype, they messed up the font sizes in the contact list, and many people now need a magnifyng glass to read it. Other than that, Skype is still a great program. I have used it for tech support for a dozen years or more, and also use it daily for a quick free video chat with my dad in Austria, Europe. Gmail has better video quality, but needs a better connection. The main advantage of Skype is that a lot more people are using it, and can therefroe be called free. You can also use Skype to send text to mobile phones. "hey Gramma! Put yer teeth in and come onto Skype!" Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet last week."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
>From Sheila in Oz I was driving with my three young children one warm evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

» The NCDC:

Today, February 1, in
1788 Isaac Briggs and William Longstreet patented the steamboat.
1793 France declared war on Britain and Holland.
1793 Ralph Hodgson patented oiled silk.
1861 Texas voted to secede from the Union.
1862 "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," by Julia Ward Howe 
 was first published in the "Atlantic Monthly."
1867 In the U.S., bricklayers start working 8-hour days.
1900 Eastman Kodak Co. introduced the $1 Brownie box camera.
1920 The first armored car was introduced.
1920 Canada's Royal North West Mounted Police changed their 
 name to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The organization 
 was commissioned in 1873.
1921 Carmen Fasanella registered as a taxicab owner and driver 
 in Princeton, New Jersey. Fasanella retired November 2, 1989 
 after 68 years and 243 days of service.
1929 Weightlifter Charles Rigoulet of France achieved the first 
 400 pound ‘clean and jerk’ as he lifted 402-1/2 pounds.
1930 The Times published its first crossword puzzle.
1951 The first telecast of an atomic explosion took place.
1951 The first X-ray moving picture process was demonstrated.
1958 The United Arab Republic was formed by a union of Egypt 
 and Syria. It was broken 1961.
1960 Four black college students began a sit-in protest at a 
 lunch counter in Greensboro, NC. They had been refused service.
1968 During the Vietnam War, South Vietnamese National Police Chief 
 Brig. Gen. Nguyen Ngoc Loan executed a Viet Cong officer, who 
 had raped and killed a number of women, with a pistol shot to 
 the head. The scene was captured in a news photograph and was
 instrumental in raising anti-war hysteria.
1976 "Sonny and Cher" resumed on TV despite a real life divorce.
1979 Patty Hearst was released from prison after serving 22 
 months of a seven-year sentence for bank robbery. Her 
 sentence had been commuted by U.S. President Carter.
1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was welcomed in Tehran 
 as he ended nearly 15 years of exile.
1991 A USAir jetliner crashed atop a commuter plane at Los 
 Angeles International Airport. 35 people were killed.
1999 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky gave a 
 deposition that was videotaped for senators weighing 
 impeachment charges against U.S. President Clinton.
2001 Three Scottish judges found Abdel Basset al-Mergrahi 
 guilty of the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, which 
 killed 270 people. The court said that Megrahi was a member 
 of the Libyan intelligence service. Al-Amin Khalifa, who 
 had been co-accused, was acquitted and freed. 10 years later
 The National Enquirer and CNN blamed Gadhafi, because he had
 paid a few Billion dollars in rrestitutions, and then had 
 the nerve to flirt at Condolezza Rice.
2003 NASA's space shuttle Columbia exploded while re-entering 
 the Earth's atmosphere. All seven astronauts on board were 
 killed.
2014  smiled.


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Slave Drives 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, January 31.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


It cooled off enough so that the snow became noisy when
walked on. In case you are a Southerner, and have never
heard that, it is a sound half way between a creak and
a scream.

Traction is quite good on snow, when it is noisy. My left
elbow and both hips are still sore from bombing the 
sidewalks yesterday, so I was quite apopreciative of the 
noisy new snow.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Floriduh Deputy charged with scorching 3 year old child's genitals with blow dryer because child wouldn't let him sleep Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"The Constitution does not specify how long the State of the Union address must be. You know who gave the longest State of the Union address ever? Bill Clinton. You know who gave the shortest? George Washington. It was just a couple of minutes. Well sure, when a politician cannot tell a lie, it limits how much they can say." --- Jay Leno ------------ That may have to be updated. Not sure, though, since I don't have time to listen that long.
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

>From Roland Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher. I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately. "You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied. "I just threw my wife's credit cards in there."
>From George Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals .......very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now.
A still evening a few days ago. You still see the almost smoothed over snow angel and drift I mentioned a couple of weeks ago. During a Chinook that chime in the foreground flies straight horizontally. Noisily too! Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cody Marrone, 21, Spring Hill, Floriduh Deputy charged with scorching 3 year old child's genitals with blow dryer because child wouldn't let him sleep reported by the Weekly Vice Cody Marrone, a 21-year-old Florida man, was jailed Friday after he allegedly burned a 3-year-old boy's genitals because the child wouldn't let him sleep. According to the Hernando County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched to Spring Hill Regional Hospital after a 3-year-old boy was admitted for burn marks that didn't appear accidental. The boy reportedly had burn marks to multiple parts of his body including his genital area, buttocks and chest. To make matters worse, the boy's genital area had become inflamed and severely swollen from the burns. The burn marks also took the shape of a grill, which the mother noted as being the same shape and pattern of her blow dryer. Investigators say the mother, Meghan Sherron, had been at work when the boy was injured and had placed the child in the care of her ex-boyfriend, Cody, as she had done many times in the past. When deputies questioned Marrone about the burns, Marrone told them that the boy injured himself while playing with the blow dryer. However, after he was read his Miranda Rights, Marrone admitted to causing the child's injuries. Marrone, who is a Hernando County Detention Deputy, went on to inform investigators that he burned the little boy with the blow dryer because the child would not "let him sleep," according to the arrest affidavit. Marrone was booked into jail and charged with aggravated child abuse and child neglect. His bond has been set at $20,000. Now the detention deputy is in detention. Tech Support Pits From: Ricky Re: Slave setting Dear Webby, How do I change a master hard drive to a slave? I have a couple older hard drives that I would like to be able to add to my com. There is one particular drive that I got out of a computer from freecycle.org, lets call that drive I, always starts when I turn on the computer. I end up running on "Windows 95" I dont' want that. I want to run my current drive, C, and be able to access I as a seperate drive. You see, drive I has a lot of music on it and I just want to be able to access it like I do any of my other spare drives.... Thanks Webby -Ricky On really old drives the jumpers for that are on the circuit board, on newer ones they are between the ribbon cable and the power plug-in. If you look close, you'll see one or two miniature Lego blocks. Those are the jumpers. Now, if you look at the label side of the drive, there is a small diagram showing you how to set the jumper to tell it to be a Master drive, Slave drive or RAID drive. Nowadays the simples way to run extra drives is in external drive enclosures and plugged into a USB port. Externally, with USB-2 drive enclosures you can run another two drives. USB drives have to be set as Slaves. Your C: drive is the Master, it determines which Operating system is used. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ski Mask For Winter Cycling Cold weather cycling can be made much more comfortable by a trip to your local ski shop. Ski gear is designed for breaking the cold wind you're likely to face when winter cycling. A knit ski mask with a vapor-permeable membrane will protect your face from icy winds but won't get soggy as you breathe hard during exertion. It should fit closely enough to allow you to wear your normal helmet on top. By joesgirl Make sure you take it off before going into the bank or even stopping at a drive-through! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
There was a king in Africa who had a close friend that he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!" One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail. About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied him to a stake surrounded by wood. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king had but one thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. They untied the king and sent him away. As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt so very badly about his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right" he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this." "No," his friend replied, "this is good!" "What do you mean, 'this is good'! How could it be good that I sent you, my good friend, to jail for all this time?" "If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you - and eaten!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday an- nouncement posted on the bulletin board: "All employees are invited to the annual Valentines Day party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren."
>From Myrna Using a new painting program on my computer, I managed to come up with a very credible still life of fruit. I made a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a graphic designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't it good?" I asked. She chuckled, and in a tone that echoed mine from years ago, replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We put it on the refrigerator."

» Land of Hope

Today, January 31, in
1606 - Guy Fawkes was executed after being convicted for his 
 role in the "Gunpowder Plot" against the English 
 Parliament and King James I.
1747 - The first clinic specializing in the treatment of 
 venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital.
1858 - The Great Eastern, the five-funnelled steamship 
 designed by Brunel, was launched at Millwall.
1865 - In America, General Robert E. Lee was named 
 general-in-chief of the Confederate armies.
1865 - The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed 
 by the U.S. House of Representatives. It was ratified by the 
 necessary number of states on December 6, 1865. The amendment 
 abolished slavery in the United States.
1876 - All Native American Indians were ordered to move into 
 reservations.
1893 - The trademark "Coca-Cola" was first registered in the 
 United States Patent Office.
1917 - Germany announced its policy of unrestricted submarine 
 warfare.
1929 - The USSR exiled Leon Trotsky. He found asylum in 
 Mexico.
1930 - U.S. Navy Lt. Ralph S. Barnaby became the first glider 
 pilot to have his craft released from a Zeppelin, at 
 Lakehurst, NJ.
1940 - The first Social Security check was issued by the 
 U.S. Government.
1944 - During World War II, U.S. forces invaded Kwajalein 
 Atoll and other areas of the Japanese-held Marshall Islands.
1945 - Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier 
 since the U.S. Civil War to be executed for desertion.
1946 - A new constitution in Yugoslavia created six 
 constituent republics (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia, 
 Bosnia-Herzegovina, Macedonia) subordinated to a central 
 authority, on the model of the USSR.
1949 - The first TV daytime soap opera was broadcast from 
 NBC's station in Chicago, IL. It was "These Are My Children."
1950 - U.S. President Truman announced that he had ordered 
 development of the hydrogen bomb.
1958 - Explorer I was put into orbit around the earth. It was 
 the first U.S. earth satellite.
1971 - Astronauts Alan B. Shepard Jr., Edgar D. Mitchell and 
 Stuart A. Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission 
 to the moon.
1971 - Telephone service between East and West Berlin was 
 re-established after 19 years.
1982 - Sandy Duncan gave her final performance as "Peter Pan" 
 in Los Angeles, CA. She completed 956 performances without 
 missing a show.
1983 - The wearing of seat belts in cars became compulsory 
 in Britain.
1983 - JCPenney announced plans to spend in excess of $1 B
 over the next five years to modernize stores
1985 - The final Jeep rolled off the assembly line at the 
 AMC plant in Toledo, OH.
1990 - McDonald's Corp. opened its first fast-food restaurant 
 in Moscow, Russia.
1995 - U.S. President Clinton invoked presidential emergency 
 authority to provide a $20 billion loan to Mexico to 
 stabilize its economy.
1996 - In Columbo, Sri Lanka, a truck was rammed into the 
 gates of the Central Bank. The truck filled with explosives 
 killed at least 86 and injured 1,400.
2000 - An Alaska Airlines jet crashed into the ocean off 
 Southern California. All 88 people on board were killed.
2001 - A Scottish court in the Netherlands convicted one 
 Libyan and acquitted a second in the bombing of Pan Am 
 Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that occurred in 1988.
 Ten years later Col.Gadhafi was blamed for it.
2014  smiled.


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Recommend a printer 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, January 30.
We got a couple inches of new snow.
There was some ice hidden underneath and on tonight's walk
I bombed the sidewalk in a few places. No real damage done,
but it took the fun out of the walk.
I am going to try the Yak-tracks that a friend gave me.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to British Escort, who got taxpayer funded 32-A to 36-DD implants, now wants reduction surgery Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due to too high wages and cheap imports. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. --- H. H. Williams Every crowd has a silver lining. --- Phineas Taylor Barnum "Politics is a dirty business. And with Hillary Clinton announcing that she is running for president, Republicans are already digging up dirt on her. And they found out that she once slept with Bill Clinton." --- Dave Letterman
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour. "No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp - without an alarm clock." "Very good, sir," the clerk replied, then asked, "Would you mind calling me at six?"
Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?" The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars." "I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?" "Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear." "Well, you can't be disappointed with that!" "Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars." "Incredible... so how come you look so glum?" "Well, this week...nothing!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Josie Cunningham, 23, London, England Escort, who got taxpayer funded 32-A to 36-DD implants, now wants reduction surgery reported by the Huffington Post Josie Cunningham incurred some wrath when she revealed she’d had a £4,800 tax payer-funded breast enlargement. Despite proudly posing topless in The Sun to show off her 36DD breasts, shortly afterwards Cunningham announced her new chest was “ruining her life” and that she intended to sue the NHS for clinical negligence and emotional distress. (NHS is England's version of Obamacare) A skin cancer scare caused Cunningham to perform yet another U-turn and now the 23-year-old single mother of two has vowed to pay for her own reduction surgery, as well as reimburse the NHS for the original implants – by working as an escort. Cunningham, who had her surgery at St James’ Hospital in Leeds a year ago, tells Closer magazine: “Escorting is a fast way to make money and I’ve discovered it’s a great job. “The only hard part is not falling for the client because some are really attractive. I enjoy sex so it’s not like it’s a chore and the free dinners are great – it’s like being paid to date. “I charge £450 for dinner and £1,000 for the night, including sex. It’s much better than scraping by on minimum wages working in a shop!” The mother-of-two had hoped to re-launch herself as the “new Katie Price” after the surgery, which was approved after she told doctors her 32A chest was “ruining her life” (there's that phrase again!) But despite claims she had been “inundated” with further offers to pose, Cunningham’s glamour modelling dreams fell flat. She said: “I thought I’d give up when I made enough money for the reduction and to pay back the NHS, but I’ve been splashing out on gifts for my family instead. “I’ve saved £1,000 so far (in two years since the implant surgery) and I’m having my reduction in the next few months. It won’t take me long to raise the rest I need to reimburse the NHS. So far her threat of reduction surgery seems to be just a publicity stunt to get escort clients. Tech Support Pits From: Marj Re: Recommend a printer Dear Webby, please recommend printer, copier, fax that is economical but reliable . I value your opinion and appreciate you help. Marj Dear Marj I use a DELL 13020c color laser for printing for about 6 years now. For scanning I use a twelve year old Brother 4-function printer, that stopped printing about yen years ago, but still scans just fine. For faxing I use Windows. You can fax straight out of any word processor, spreadsheet or graphics program. You hit CTRL P, select FAX as the printer, and then POPP (Print Other People's Paper) Setting up Fax on your computer is easy. Just hit F1, type FAX, and let it guide you through it. DELL now has much cheaper printers than the old 1320c, but it is still available too. Just get a color laser that is in your price range. Inkjets are cheaper to purchase, but then you really get punished with the ink. If you get a 4 function Inkjet printer free with a magazine subscription, watch out! Good Luck! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Vinegar You can save on cleaning products by using white vinegar and newspaper to clean your windows, windows come out sparkling clean. You can also use white vinegar for washing your floors, add 1/2 cup white vinegar to last rinse cycle of your wash to control static cling. Also white vinegar is good for cleaning coffeemakers, tea kettles, tea pots, coffee and tea mugs. There are so many uses for white vinegar and it is non-toxic and does many jobs much better than cleaners from the store. By Anita in Toms River, NJ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then just how serious is my condition, because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The building contractor proudly pointed to the nearly completed residence. "Lady, this house may seem a little shaky right now, but you just wait until we put up the wallpaper."
An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife!"

» Frozen in Time

Today, January 30, in
1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded.
1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the 
 River Tyne.
1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives 
 took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold 
 fought on the House floor.
1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco.
1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the 
 "Monitor", was launched.
1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old 
 mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his 
 hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna.
1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer.
1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask 
 for a larger army.
1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile 
 speedway. The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA.
1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the 
destroyer "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land 
 in the ocean about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba.
1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first 
 time. The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955.
1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor.
1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi 
 was murdered by a Hindu extremist.
1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service 
 at Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway 
 through the airport was 1,435 feet.
1964 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned spacecraft 
 carried television cameras and was intentionally crash-landed
 on the moon. The cameras did not return any pictures to Earth.
1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched 
 surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals.
1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed 
 thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is 
 known as "Bloody Sunday."
1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided 
 to allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been 
 living in exile in France sending tape recordings to Iran,
 that were instrumental in getting the Shah kicked out.
1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed.
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a 
 6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security 
 responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces.
1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National 
 Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his 
 unemployment benefit.
1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a 
 female prisoner must have legal representation. He denied 
 the prisoner bail reduction to enable her to leave the 
 jail and obtain an abortion.
2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were 
 due to too high wages and cheap imports. 
2014  smiled.


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How to get rid of Conduit malware 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, January 29.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Shahzad Iqbal, who was jailed after threatening Walmart employee with BB Gun when he couldn't return a used tablet without receipt. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1997 - America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated customers under threat of lawsuits Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why. --- Mignon McLaughlin For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. --- Bob Wells
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A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I guess so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, golly!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my ducks!"
Thanks to Allen for this story: I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she'd solved the problem by turning off the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been listening leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't tell her about the engines."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shahzad Iqbal, 41, Laurel, MD Shahzad Iqbal, who was jailed after threatening Walmart employee with Gun, when he couldn't return a used tablet without receipt reported by the Weekly Vice Shahzad Iqbal, a 41-year-old Maryland man, was jailed Monday after he allegedly threatened a Walmart employee with a BB gun when he was told he could not return an item without a receipt. (After the "Entitlement Crowd" used to march in, take items off the shelf, walk them to the Cutomer Service counter and cash them in, ahem, return them for cash, they started asking for a receipt long before they expanded to Maryland.) According to police, the mayhem started Monday at about 11 p.m. when Iqbal walked into a Laural Walmart, approached the customer service counter and attempted to "return" a used electronic tablet device. Investigators say a woman working at the customer service counter asked to see a purchase receipt, however Iqbal was unable to provide one. He then removed a pair of headphones from his head and demanded cash in return for them as well. When the employee informed Iqbal that no items could be returned without a receipt, he reportedly became angry. That's when he allegedly placed a backpack on the counter, removed what appeared to be a machine gun and pointed it at the employee. When the employee screamed, Iqbal reportedly fled the scene. He was located a short time later a short distance from the store. The gun was located in Iqbal's backpack and was later identified as a CO2 powered BB gun. He was booked into jail and charged with attempted robbery, attempted first-degree assault and possession of a controlled dangerous substance. ____________ Yeah, ya gotta watch that CO2. Dangerous stuff! It can cause Government grants! Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: How do you get rid of Conduit? Dear Webby Hi there. Here I come with another question and I'm thinking you could be making a mint by charging for all these questions! HA!HA! I have this horrid "Conduit Search" on my screen after downloading Firefox which I love. Switched from IE to Firefox and just love it, but can't seem to figure out how I got the "Conduit Search" and now , how to get rid of it. Have you got any suggestions? I'm open to just about anything. Went to Control Panel, Add & Remove Programs but there's nothing there resembling "Conduit Search" so no help from that avenue. Hope you're toughing out this very cold winter right across Canada. We live in Ontario and it's been bitterly cold for so long that I'm wondering if spring will ever come! Thanks for all your help, Wendy Dear Wendy It's nice and warm here. Clear sky, warm sun, +3C, and the snow around the West side of the house is gone. On the South side there are still snow drifts. Conduit is a very nasty browser hijacker. It has nothing to do with FireFox, it just hijacks it. It also hijacks other browsers. You get it when you download stuff from dubious sources like Open Candy. For example, if you are searching for a replacement for the no longer working Windows clock gadget, you might find some really cute clocks and fall in love with them. Then, when you are downloading them, there are a few "User Agreement" forms, that APPEAR harmless enough, but somewhere in the small print you agree to the Conduit search and tool bar. It won't necessarily appear right away, so that you won't know, how you got infected with it. Because you agreed to the crap, Anti-Virus programs can't do anything. Conduit burrows deep into your computer, and is not easy to remove. You can try CrapCleaner and Spybot-Search&Destroy from my tool box at http://webby.com/tools. Chances are pretty good that CrapCleaner will get rid of that crap. Run Spybot afterwards for extra cleaning. If those do not do the trick, here are some removal guides: http://botcrawl.com/how-to-remove-condu ... h-malware/ http://www.wikihow.com/Remove-Conduit-Search-Protect http://malwaretips.com/blogs/remove-con ... d-toolbar/ (scroll down past the BS) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6V83Z0YIhY This one has the instructions in a video Good Luck! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lysine for Treating a Cold Sore Regarding cold sores, I find it much easier to take extra Lysine. One or two 1,000 mg tabs stops it in its tracks. Lysine is an amino acid and unless one has had an actual fever, most cold sores are caused from an amino acid imbalance (too much arginine - for me from nuts). I first heard about Lysine from the Parade Magazine that was carried in the St. Louis Post Dispatch back in the 1970s. The weekend that paper came out, grocery and pharmaceutical shelves were cleared of Lysine. However, it soon became available again. It is not expensive and it works. I always keep a bottle on hand. Noella Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
In the mood for joking, a vacationer strolled over to a farmer working in a field and asked, "Did you happen to see a wagonload of monkeys go by?" "Nope," replied the farmer. "Did you fall off?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Good, what are we having for breakfast," said the new husband. "Toast and juice," she replied.
One of the burdens of office of the small town mayor was his brother in-law, a fellow who liked to throw his or, rather, his in-law's political weight around. The mayor had instructed his policemen and other city officials to treat him just like they would any other taxpayer. The brother-in-law got a ticket for overtime parking. He immediately descended in fury on police headquarters, waving the ticket and sputtering, "Hey, do you know who I am?" The desk sergeant surveyed him calmly, picked up his phone and dialed the mayor's office. "Tell the mayor," he said to the secretary, "that his brother-in-law is down here and can't remember his name. Should we send him to the loonie bin, or just lock him up for a few days and see if his memory returns?"

» Ugly Critters

Today, January 29, in
1820 - Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle.
1848 - Greenwich Mean Time was adopted by Scotland.
1850 - Henry Clay introduced in the Senate a compromise bill 
 on slavery that included the admission of California into 
 the Union as a free state.
1886 - The first successful petrol-driven motorcar, built 
 by Karl Benz, was patented.
1916 - In World War I, Paris was bombed by German zeppelins 
 for the first time.
1924 - R. Taylor patented the ice cream cone rolling machine.
1949 - "The Newport News" was commissioned as the first 
 air-conditioned naval ship in Virginia.
1963 - Britain was refused entry into the EEC.
1987 - "Physician’s Weekly" announced that the smile on 
 the face of Leonardo DeVinci's Mona Lisa was caused by a 
 "...facial paralysis resulting from a swollen nerve 
 behind the ear."
1990 - Joseph Hazelwood, the former skipper of the Exxon 
 Valdez, went on trial in Anchorage, AK, on charges that 
 stemmed from America's worst oil spill. Hazelwood was 
 later acquitted of all the major charges and was 
 convicted of a misdemeanor.
1997 - America Online agreed to give refunds to 
 frustrated customers under threat of lawsuits 
1998 - A bomb exploded at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, 
 AL, killing an off-duty policeman and severely wounding 
 a nurse. Eric Rudolph was charged with this bombing and 
 three other attacks in Atlanta.
1999 - Paris prosecutors announced the end of the 
 investigation into the accident that killed Britain's 
 ex-Princess Diana.
2001 - In Indonesia, thousands of student protesters 
 stormed the parliament property and demanded that President 
 Abdurrahman Wahid quit due to his alleged involvement in 
 two corruption scandals. Wahid announced that he would 
 not resign.
2014  smiled.


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Here is how to make filters in Gmail 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, January 28.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes for Most memorable mug shot after getting jailed for criminal impersonation Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. --- Phyllis Diller He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. --- Friedrich Nietzsche
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Thanks to Connie for this story: The telemarketer did his best to convince me to renew my subscription for another year. "At this price, it's really a great bargain," he said. I'm elderly," I laughed. "I might die before the subscription ends." "No problem," he assured me. "You'll get a refund."
Thanks to Margaret for this story: Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic and fearing he really was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all. Jesse did and replied, "That tasted like bull sh..!" The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Arena Arnold, 27, Penfield, NY Most memorable mug shot after getting jailed for criminal impersonation reported by Huff Post Investigators say Arnold was in a car crash, and tried to portray herself as a passenger when she was the driver, WHEC.com reported. Arnold was allegedly untruthful about her identity and also was intoxicated, investigators told the Victor Post. Arnold was arraigned and taken to the Monroe County Jail where she remains in lieu of $2,500 cash bail or $5,000 bond. Regardless of the outcome of the case, her bug-eyed, cross-eyed mug is one for the ages. Arnold is hamming it up in her mugshot and apparently doesn't have cross-eyes. Tech Support Pits From: Ruby Re: How do you make filters on Gmail? Dear Webby You have mentioned lots of times to make filters on Gmail, but the issue where you told us how to do that, must have been censored by the œ@#$%&!! at Verizon. They are getting to be a real nuisance. So I need to know the tricks for customizing Gmail to my needs. Thanks Sweetie! Ruby (jewelry please, not lips!) Dear Ruby In Gmail look for the cutesy little gear at the top right corner. Click that Select Settings In there near the top you see a long line of topics. Usually the 5th from the left is "Filters". They are "Alternate Lifestyle" type links without underline. Click "Filters". Scroll all the way to the bottom. There you see another one of those lukewarm links, called "Create a new filter". That gets you to a form, where you can create a filter. It looks confusing, but is probably quite clear to the people at Google. What they mean is you can put in what to look for in the FROM line, or the TO line or the Subject line or the Body. Don't put stuff into more than one field. Their filters are not as robust as the ones in MailWasher. Just fill one field, for example put humor@webby.com into the FROM field. DON'T click on the magnifying glass at the left bottom to test, unless you want to start all over. They klutz3ed up the return from test. So don't do a test unless you really doubt your ability to enter valid criteria. Instead click on CREATE FILTER In the next screen you have all kinds of options for what to do with caught stuff. For example put a checkmark into "Never send it to Spam" and into "Apply the label" and pull that down to the letter H You can even make new labels there. Thenn, down near the bottom is a checkbox "Also apply filter to matching conversations." Check that one. Then hit CREATE FILTER In there the test works without messing up, and from now on that filter will protect your Humor Letter from getting tossed into the Spam, if I am thundering about certain Malware. You can just as easily make filters to nuke unwanted stuff. Theoretically they were going to make it so that it learns about what people deliberately toss into Spam, but that does not work yet. You have to make filters. After the first one it is quite easy. Just don't click on the TEST button. Gmail has VERY good spam filtering, but sometimes their well intentiond efforts go a bit too far and you need filters more to protect legitimate mail than to dump bad stuff. For fine tuning the results I use MailWasher. There you can use "but not if" and similar rules. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ice for Treating a Cold Sore When you first start to feel the uncomfortable tingle start applying ice to the infected area on and off till the cube has melted. Afterward pat dry. Make a mixture out of extra virgin coconut oil about 1 tbs, and tea tree oil (3-4 drops). Heat the coconut oil in a small bottle by submerging it with a lid on it in warm water, then add the tea tree oil shake to mix. Use ice, then mixture 3-5× daily. It should not get any bigger and heal in 2-4 days in my experience. It is best if the mixture is applied with a Q-tip. By mrs.emmert Aloe Vera works well too. I cut or puncture a capsule and squeeze a drop onto the starting cold sore, and repeat that half a day later, if necessary. If not, I eat the cut capsule. Like honey, Aloe Vera does not go bad, but cut capsules littering the medicine shelf are a nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Laura is driving down the highway with her hand stuck out the window and waving in every direction. The police officer that is following behind her finally has had enough and hits the lights and signals Laura to pull over. "First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer. "I decided not to turn right," Laura explains. "Then why the up and down?" asks the officer. "Officer," Laura sniffs, "I was erasing!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

How many gears in a French tank? Sixteen, fifteen reverse, and one forward in case they are attacked from behind.
>From Chris Dear Webby, can you please bring the "Dogfood Diet" again? Sure! DOGFOOD DIET I have a Labrador Retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog (?) On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a truck hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he roared with laughter staggering to the door and fresh air.

» Black Top Art

Today, January 28, in
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer 
 Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church.
 Diets have had a bad name ever since.
1547 England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by 
 his 9 year-old son, Edward VI.
1788 The first British penal settlement was founded at 
 Botany Bay.
1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street lit 
 by gaslight.
1871 France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War.
1878 The first telephone switchboard was installed 
 in New Haven, CT.
1909 The United States ended direct control over Cuba.
1915 The Coast Guard was created to fight contraband trade
1918 The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland.
1935 Iceland became the first country to introduce 
 legalized abortion.
1938 The first US ski tow started operation in Vermont.
1945 During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching 
 China over the newly reopened Burma Road.
1958 Construction began on first private thorium-uranium 
 nuclear reactor.
1965 General Motors reported the biggest profit of any 
 U.S. company in history.
1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, 
 Iran, on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian 
 diplomatic passports. The Americans had been hidden at 
 the Canadian embassy in Tehran.
1982 Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier 
 General James L. Dozier 42 days after he had been kidnapped 
 by the Red Brigades.
1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after 
 takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed.
1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's 
 Volvo AB for $6.45 billion.
2014  smiled.


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Lost Excel data 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, January 27.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a bonehead who was jailed after stealing 480 ton ferry. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2003 Altria Group, Inc. became the name of the parent company of Kraft Foods, Philip Morris USA, Philip Morris International and Philip Morris Capital Corporation. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
All movements go too far. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
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>From Bev One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary words. "Mom," she asked, "what's a quarter horse?" As I thought of a simple explanation, my five-year-old son piped up, "It's the one they have in front of the grocery store."
Here is a Classic: A thief in Paris planned to steal some Paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet To buy Degas To make the Van Gogh.' Do you have De Gaulle to tell this to someone else? Hey, you have nothing Toulouse .
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture of one of her Calla Lilies: Click on the picture for the large version In our yard today. This is the medium size flower. The big kind gets over 6 feet tall,with flowers to match. We live on the Central Coast of California. ~~ Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Samuel McDonough, 33, Preston, Washington Jailed after stealing 480 ton ferry reported by Huff Post A man who told police he took the Victoria Clipper ferry from its Seattle waterfront berth as a birthday present to himself has been sentenced to nearly 2 ½ years in prison. Samuel McDonough of Preston was able to break the ferry away from the dock on Dec. 1 but didn't know how to operate the vessel, which was spotted drifting in Elliott Bay. The 33-year-old was eventually arrested. McDonough was sentenced Friday. He earlier pleaded guilty to burglary and theft charges. He also told police he was a "pirate" and said he wanted to go to Victoria, British Columbia. In charging papers, prosecutors say McDonough took the $8 million, 480-ton boat after climbing through a hole in a fence and using keys he found in the boat's pilot house. Tech Support Pits From: Ken Re: Lost Excel data I took your suggestion and downloaded crap cleaner. To my chagrin it seems to have have cleaned out all my addresses I had in Microsoft Excel. Any suggestions on how/where to recover them if it is even possible? Thanks. Ken Dear Ken I have never heard of CrapCleaner messing with Excel files. I use it all the time and have Excel files all over the place. It has never touched them. If your Excel file was in the recycle Bin, then it is gone, because one of the first things CrapCleaner does, is dump the Recycle Bin to give you some elbow room. If you "hid" it in the Recycle Bin, chances of recovery are slim. You can try the Undeleter Possibly you had more than one shortcut going to that Excel file. If you did, depending on your settings, it could have deleted the redundant ones. Look for older shortcuts, or search for *.xls with the Search in the START button. Once you find it again, make a new desktop shortcut to it. CrapCleaner most definitely does not reach into Excel files and delete anything inside them. If you have the file, just not the addresses, check the tabs at the bottom. Are you on Sheet 1? If the cat tabbed it to Sheet 5, it would look like the addresses have been cleaned out. I often use tabs further back as a scratch pad, but delete my calculations after pasting the result into an email or invoice. It HAS happened to me that I opened a spreadsheet and not realized, that I was not on Sheet 1 and was momentarily quite worried. Once I checked the tabs and clicked onto Sheet 1, everything was there. I HAVE called myself names over that issue! Check that first. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Liquid Soap in Purse Often when we need hand soap in a public place; none is available. An empty pill bottle is easy to carry with liquid soap in your pocket or purse. No spills or mess. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The missionary asked the cannibal chief, "Do you people know anything about Christian religion?" After a pause, the chief answered, "We got a little taste of it when the last missionary was here."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth! This particular genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" Immediately the genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished to her freedom. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee into the boat."
Thanks to Martin for this story: A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as some churches call it, "Cry Sunday," one Sunday morning. She took the microphone from one of the church ushers and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation: "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum." The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. "Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. "He can't lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new." A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sunk in and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken. Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then said to the congregation: "I'm Jim and I have only one word to say: The word is STERNUM."

» Lifestyle

Today, January 27, in
1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators began. 
 They were executed on January 31.
1880 Thomas Edison patented the electric incandescent lamp.
1900 In China, foreign diplomats in Peking, fearing a revolt, 
 demanded that the imperial government discipline the Boxer 
 rebels.
1926 John Baird, a Scottish inventor, demonstrated a pictorial 
 transmission machine called television.
1943 During World War II, the first all American air raid 
 against Germany took place when about 50 bombers attacked 
 Wilhlemshaven.
1944 The Soviet Union announced that the two year German 
 siege of Leningrad had come to an end.
1945 Soviet troops liberated the Nazi concentration camps 
 Auschwitz and Birkenau in Poland.
1948 Wire Recording Corporation of America announced the 
 first magnetic tape recorder. The ‘Wireway’ machine with 
 a built-in oscillator sold for $149.50.
1951 In the U.S., atomic testing in the Nevada desert began 
 as an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton bomb on 
 Frenchman Flats.
1967 At Cape Kennedy, FL, astronauts Virgil I. "Gus" Grissom, 
 Edward H. White and Roger B. Chaffee died in a flash fire 
 during a test aboard their Apollo I spacecraft.
1973 The Vietnam peace accords were signed in Paris.
1977 The Vatican reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's ban 
 on female priests.
1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted the 52 former American 
 hostages released by Iran at the White House.
1984 Wayne Gretzky set a National Hockey League (NHL) record 
 for consecutive game scoring. He ended the streak at 51 games.
1985 The Coca-Cola Company, of Atlanta, GA, announced a plan 
 to sell its soft drinks in the Soviet Union.
1992 Former world boxing champion Mike Tyson went on trial for 
 allegedly raping an 18-year-old contestant in the 1991 Miss 
 Black America Contest.
1997 It was revealed that French national museums were 
 holding nearly 2,000 works of art confiscated from Jews 
 by the Nazis during World War II.
1998 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared on NBC's 
 "Today" show. She charged that the allegations against her 
 husband were the work of a "vast right-wing conspiracy."
1999 The U.S. Senate blocked dismissal of the impeachment 
 case against President Clinton and voted for new testimony 
 from Monica Lewinsky and two other witnesses.
2002 A series of explosions occurred at a military dump in 
 Lagos, Nigeria. More than 1,000 people were killed in the 
 blast and in the attempt to escape.
2003 Altria Group, Inc. became the name of the parent company 
 of Kraft Foods, Philip Morris USA, Philip Morris International 
 and Philip Morris Capital Corporation.
2010 Steve Jobs unveiled the Apple iPad.
2014  smiled.


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Printing in Black 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, January 26.
Back in the saddle again!

Aileen from PayPal wrote about Betty's problem:

Hi! My name is Aileen from PayPal Customer Support. 
I'll definitely help you with the website payment inquiry.

I checked your site and the payment or checkout process 
was smooth. If the drop down menu for the state does not 
show up, rest assured it has nothing to do with your site. 
It's a browser issue, I suggest to contact the client 
and advice her to clear the browsing history, cache and 
cookies and try it again.

In case you need further assistance, please let us know. 
You can also reach us at 1-877-569-1116 during these 
hours:
4:00 AM PT to 10:00 PM PT, Monday–Friday
6:00 AM PT to 8:00 PM PT, Saturday and Sunday

I'm glad I was able to resolve your concern and assisted 
an important customer like you. Thank you for choosing 
PayPal for your online payments. Take care and have a 
wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Aileen
PayPal Consumer Support


Isn't it nice to get prompt and friendly customer service?
I have used PayPal for about 15 years and never had a 
problem with them.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Freeland, Pa. crook, who was jailed after posting his WANTED poster on his Facebook page. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2009 - The Icelandic government and banking system collapsed. Prime Minister Geir Haarde resigned. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. --- Robert Frost
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

>From sexysassysatin Lab Report: Our lab results confirm that the red ring around your penis was not cancer. It was lipstick. We are sincerely sorry for the diagnostic error. We apologize for the amputation and regret any inconvenience this might have caused. Your Obamacare Surgeon
>From Dianne This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk. The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of single malt there after. Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he has just been arrested. The Englishman answers With humour: "No! Do you know that this is a British car and that my wife is the driver... on the other side???
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version One of our Camelias has started to bloom.It should really be a 'showcase' soon with all those buds. ~~ Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jim Lescowitch Jr., 35, FREELAND, Pa. Jailed after posting his WANTED poster on his Facebook page reported by Mail Online He has evaded police since November, but Anthony James Lescowitch Jr. was finally nabbed yesterday - after sharing a wanted picture of himself on his own Facebook page. Freeland Police Department hunted Lescowitch for two months over allegations he assaulted a man in July last year, before posting the wanted bulletin on their Facebook about 9.20pm yesterday. When the Pennsylvania man unwittingly shared the bulletin on his own page about three minutes later, undercover cops baited him. Police arrest Jim Lescowitch Jr., 35, less than two hours after he shared a wanted photo of himself on Facebook and taunted police for not being able to find him Lescowitch was one one of four men charged by police over the July 14 assault of a man on Ridge St. Court papers filed against Lescowitch on November 27 said he was wanted for hitting the victim in the head. Police said the victim fell to the street, was knocked out and robbed while incapacitated. According to court papers, Lescowitch, who was also wanted by Luzerne County Adult Probation, was arraigned. Lescowitch had reportedly been incarcerated about 15 times, the first time for stealing computers when he was 18. He is now 35. Posing as an attractive woman, one of the investigating officers, T.J. Rentschler, began chatting online with Lescowitch about his wanted picture. Over about 30 minutes, the 'woman' was able to gather key information about Lescowitch which led to his arrest. The undercover cop invited Lescowitch to meet for a drink. When the fugitive declined, the cop said: 'The least you can do is come out and have a cigarette with me.' Lescowitch agreed and when he pulled up in a car at the specified location, cops arrested him. Tech Support Pits From: Sir Squirrel Re: Printing in Black I have a problem I have not seen you address as yet. As we both know when typing a letter with the computer and include your e-mail address, your printer is going to print the e-mail address in blue. Until after the 3rd of Feb. I'm stuck with an empty color ink cartridge. SO! My question is, how can I make the printer print out the e-mail address in black? Sir Squirrel Dear Sir Squirrel Just set your printer to print in Black/White instead of color. You can usually do that in File, PageSetup, where you tell it whether to print in Portrait or Landscape. Most printers have a checkbox there for selecting color or Black. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Loose Leaf Paper In Your Printer Here is a great tip that I came up with out of "desperation": I love to peruse craft websites and print out free directions for ones I want to do later. Well, one day I went to print out a couple and found I was out of printer paper. Bummer! But, I found that loose leaf paper worked just as well, plus it has the holes, so now I can put my collection in a 3 ring binder! Now I always print my crafts and recipes on loose leaf paper, cheap and handy! :) By Carol from Landisville, PA On cheap inkjet printers that is quite OK, but I would not advise it on color laser printers. You can get "copy" paper at Costco for $30 a case (5000 sheets) or under $20 for half a case. Loose leaf is much more expensive. Keep in mind, though, that once you have a case, relatives and friends will want to borrow reams (250 packs) of paper. Set a price and write it onto the case, for example $2 / ream. They will still come and get paper from you, but at least your paper will be paid for. (Your actual cost is about $1.50 per 250 sheet ream, if you buy a $30 case.) What is called "Copy" paper is fine for inkjet and laser and normal correspondence. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Ed My wife and I were stopped by a state policeman. He started to write up a speeding ticket. My wife, who is a hairstylist, said, "If you let us off with a warning, I'll give you free haircuts for a year." The policeman removed his hat. He was completely bald.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

“Look at this mess!” roared an angry customer at a local cafe, pointing to his squashed doughnut. “It’s just as you ordered it, sir,” the waitress replied meekly. "You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut and step on it. So I did.”
As I pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store, I noticed a car with its headlights on. I jotted down the make, color and license number. Inside the store I joined the line at the information desk, and when it was my turn, I told the clerk that there was a green Ford in the parking lot that had its lights on and gave her the license number. "Thank you," she replied, and went on to another customer. The gentleman next to me asked her indignantly, "Aren't you going to announce it?" "There's no need," she replied sheepishly. "That's my car."

» 1947 Ford Truck

Today, January 26, in
1500 - Vicente Yáñez Pinzón discovered Brazil.
1736 - Stanislaus I formally abdicated as King of Poland.
1784 - In a letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin 
 expressed unhappiness over the eagle as the symbol of 
 America. He wanted the symbol to be the turkey.
1788 - The first European settlers in Australia, led by 
 Captain Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as 
 Sydney. The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight 
 days before. This day is celebrated as Australia Day.
1827 - Peru seceded from Colombia in protest against 
 Simón Bolívar's alleged tyranny.
1841 - Britain formally occupied Hong Kong, which the 
 Chinese had ceded to the British.
1861 - In the U.S., Louisiana seceded from the Union.
1870 - The state of Virgina rejoined the Union.
1875 - George F. Green patented the electric dental drill 
 for sawing, filing, dressing and polishing teeth.
1905 - The Cullinan diamond, at 3,106.75 carats, was found 
 by Captain Wells at the Premier Mine, near Pretoria
1911 - Inventor Glenn H. Curtiss flew the first successful 
 seaplane.
1939 - In the Spanish Civil War, Franco's forces, with 
 Italian aid, took Barcelona.
1942 - The first American expeditionary force to go to 
 Europe during World War II went ashore in Northern Ireland.
1950 - India officially proclaimed itself a republic as 
 Rajendra Prasad took the oath of office as president.
1950 - The American Associated Insurance Companies, of  St. 
 Louis, MO, issued the first baby sitter’s insurance policy.
1962 - The U.S. launched Ranger 3 to land scientific 
 instruments on the moon. The probe missed its target 
 by about 22,000 miles.
1965 - Hindi was made the official language of India.
1969 - California was declared a disaster area two days 
 of flooding and mudslides.
1972 - In Hermsdorf, Czechoslovakia, a JAT Yugoslav Airlines
 flight crashed after the detonation of a bomb in the forward 
 cargo hold killing 27 people. The bomb was believed to have 
 been placed on the plane by a Croatian extremist group. 
 Vesna Vulovic, a stewardess, survived after falling 33,000 
 feet in the tail section. She broke both legs and became 
 paralyzed from the waist down.
1992 - Russian president Boris Yeltsin announced that his 
 country would stop targeting U.S. cities with nuclear weapons.
1993 - Former Czechoslovak President Vaclav Havel was elected 
 president of the new Czech Republic.
1994 - In Sydney, Australia, a young man lunged at and fired 
 two blank shots at Britain's Prince Charles.
1996 - U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton testified 
 before a grand jury concerning the Whitewater probe.
1998 - U.S. President Clinton denied having an affair with 
 a former White House intern, saying "I did not have 
 sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."
1999 - Saddam Hussein vowed revenge against the U.S. in 
 response to air-strikes that reportedly killed civilians. 
 The strikes were U.S. planes cratering areas with 
 anti-aircraft guns.
1999 - Gary Busey was released from jail after being arrested 
 the night before for investigation of misdemeanor spousal 
 abuse. Tiana Busey had no visible injuries.
2001 - Near Ciudad Boliva, Venezuela, twenty four people 
 were killed when a 50-year-old DC-3 crashed.
2009 - The first trial at the International Criminal Court 
 was held. Former Union of Congolese Patriots leader Thomas 
 Lubanga was accused of training child soldiers to kill, 
 pillage, and rape.
2009 - The Icelandic government and banking system collapsed. 
 Prime Minister Geir Haarde resigned.
2010 - It was announced that James Cameron's movie "Avatar" 
 had become the highest-grossing film worldwide. 
2014  smiled.


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