Lost picture from ancient Humor Letter 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, February 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Upstate New York judge busted for drunken driving on her way to court in Rochester Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 29, in 1288 - Scotland established this day as one when a woman could propose marriage to a man. In the event that he refused the proposal he was required to pay a fine. History ______________________________________________________ One man's folly is another man's wife. --- Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950) The best time to plant an oak tree was twenty-five years ago. The second best time is today. --- James Carville ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Unicorn caught by CHP after 3 hour chase by cop cars and helicopters. Video ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
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with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "It's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Update from Sailor: Yesterday's Bonehead Nora Longoria,s case was dismissed and she remains a justice on the 13th Court of Appeals. Judge Rolando Cantu with Hidalgo County Court at Law No. 8 signed an order dismissing the case on grounds that prosecutors forgot to ask for the dash cam video and therefore did not have enough evidence. An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Leticia Astacio, 34, Rochester, New York Upstate New York judge busted for drunken driving on her way to court in Rochester Rochester City Court Judge Leticia Astacio was charged with misdemeanor driving while intoxicated Saturday morning and issued an appearance ticket. According to Monroe County District Attorney Sandra Doorley, Astacio, 34, was ticketed by New York State Police traveling on Interstate 490 near the Mt. Read Boulevard exit about 8 a.m. on Feb 13/2016. Trooper Chris Kowalski said troopers came upon Astacio's vehicle on I-490 and that the investigation is still ongoing. Astacio's car was damaged in what was possibly a one-car crash. No other car was reported to be involved. Astacio was headed to Rochester City Court to preside over Saturday morning arraignments The ticket was designated DWI with refusal, and she is scheduled to appear in court on March 11. According to Kowalski, Astacio refused to take a Breathalyzer test. Judge Charles Crimi presided over arraignments in Astacio's place, according to Doorley. Astacio, a Democrat, was elected to her position in 2014. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jeyavor Re: I love my computer picture Dear Webby I love your newsletter, but I have a bit of a problem. I was using a cartoon you recently published as walpaper, but I accidently erased it. I'd like to get it back... how do I do it? It was "I love my computer...all my friends are in it!" Thanks! Dear Jeyavor It was probably one of these: ILMC1 ILMC2 ILMC3 Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably. "All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making a Tiny Sewing Repair Kit By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] I made this little thread holder to use in my Felt Monster Sewing Kit, however I realized that it would also work really well as a stand alone item. It is small enough to fit in your wallet or almost anywhere. Now it will be easy to sew a loose button back onto your clothing or fix a seam. Supplies: mini craft sticks (Woodsies 2 1/2" x 3/8" x 1/12") hot glue gun felt scissors thread sewing needle Steps: Take two mini craft sticks and apply a small amount of hot glue to the middle of one stick. Then adhere the sticks together. Be sure to press them together firmly so that there isn't much of a gap between them. Cut a narrow strip of felt long enough to wrap around the middle of the sticks. Apply a small amount of glue and adhere the end of the felt, wrap it around the sticks and glue it in place, trimming off any excess felt. Slip the end of the thread in between the two sticks, then begin wrapping the thread around. Once you have a good amount of thread on the sticks, cut it loose from the spool. Now slide the loose end in between the sticks to keep it from unraveling. Repeat on the other end with another color of thread. The felt strip around the middle is the perfect place to store a spare needle. After inserting the needle through the felt, simply nestle the tip of the needle into the thread to keep it from poking you unexpectedly. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ That reminds me,..... A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $2,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." ___________________________________________________
Blue Angels - credit Lillemor
____________________________________________________ After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and gasped, "I gave you an extra two hours --and you're still not ready?" ____________________________________________________ A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church." ____________________________________________________
Hey! I know these guys and gal! My favorite Scottish band from Glasgow, Scotland. Jaquie, Davey, Kyle, Aya, Jamesie, and Donnie on the bagpipes.

Today on February 29
1288 - Scotland established this day as one when a woman 
 could propose marriage to a man. In the event that he 
 refused the proposal he was required to pay a fine. 
1860 - The first electric tabulating machine was invented 
 by Herman Hollerith. 
1904 - In Washington, DC, a seven-man commission was created 
 to hasten the construction of the Panama Canal. 
1944 - The invasion of the Admiralty Islands began with 
 "Operation Brewer." U.S. General Douglas MacArthur led his 
 forces onto Los Negros. 
1944 - The Office of Defense Transportation, for the second year 
 in a row, restricted attendance at the Kentucky Derby to 
 residents of the Louisville area. This was an effort to prevent 
 a railroad traffic burden during wartime. 
1964 - Dawn Fraser got her 36th world record. The Australian 
 swimmer was timed at 58.9 seconds in the 100-meter freestyle 
 in Sydney, Australia.
1988 - "Day by Day" premiered on NBC-TV. 
2010 - In Japan, the Tokyo Skytree tower was completed as the 
 tallest tower in the world. 
2016  smiled.


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Keyboard Shortcuts strip 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, February 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas judge busted for drunk driving pleads for special treatment: 'You are going to ruin my life'. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 28, in 1849 Regular steamboat service to California via Cape Horn arrived in San Francisco for the first time. The SS California had left New York Harbor on October 6, 1848. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. History ______________________________________________________ It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your incredible sense of humor." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "God is OK. He won't tell my wife." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Phoenix Rising! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nora Longoria, 49, McAllen, Texas Texas judge busted for drunk driving pleads for special treatment: 'You are going to ruin my life'. A Texas appeals court judge appealed for some special treatment when she was busted for drunk driving over the weekend. Justice Nora Longoria was going 69 mph in her Lexus in a 55-mph zone when she was stopped by cops in McAllen just after 1 a.m. on Saturday morning, according to court records obtained by the Valley Morning Star. As she slurred her words, Longoria begged the officers for leniency even though she admitted she had five beers that evening, the last one three hours before getting behind the wheel. “Please let me go home," she said, according to the Valley Morning Star. "I live a couple of miles away ... you are going to ruin my life. I worked hard for 25 years to be where I am today." In addition, Longoria, 49, refused to let cops put handcuffs on her until they threatened her with a charge of resisting arrest, according to the documents. Longoria also declined to take a Breathalyzer after failing several sobriety tests. She was charged with driving while intoxicated and was released from jail later that morning after posting $2,000 bond. She was elected to the 13th Court of Appeals in 2012, and now she tells cops they are ruining her, because she was drunk as a skunk. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wanda Re: Shortcut keys Dear Webby Thanks very much for all those keyboard shortcuts! My mom used to have these cardboard strips that fit onto the keyboard above the F keys and that had keyboard shortcuts printed on them. She had a strip for WordPerfect and one for Quattro and one for her magic mystery bats. Could you, pretty please, make us a strip like that for the keyboard shortcuts we need nowadays? Thanks xoxox Wanda Dear Wanda Your style seems somehow familiar, and so is the term "magic mystery bats". Please give my regards to your mother! OK, since you asked so nicely, I made a strip with the keyboard shortcuts for nowadays. You can see it and print the strip from that page at http://webby.com/humor/key-codes.html http://webby.com/humor/key-codes.html Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ >From Carla Dear Webby, re those two boys and their baptism,.... in our church we too have "pisscapalians", but here that's the name for those who sneak out for a potty break and who get stuck at the Capucino machine in the lobby until well after the collection plate has been passed. Carla ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Banana-Cinnamon Muffins with Crumb Topping By Jackie H. [141 Posts, 38 Comments] These muffins are a nice healthy crunchy snack with coffee in the morning! Banana-Cinnamon Muffins with Crumb Topping Ingredients: Muffins 2/3 cup sugar 1 stick butter, softened 2 eggs 2/3 cup mashed bananas (3 bananas) 1 tsp vanilla 1-2/3 all purpose flour 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 1 tsp (heaping) cinnamon Topping 1/4 cup white sugar 1/4 cup light brown sugar 1 tsp cinnamon 1/4 cup melted butter Steps: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease cupcake pan with shortening, spray flour, or line them with paper wrappers. In a medium bowl, beat sugar, butter and eggs until smooth. Stir in the remaining ingredients, flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon & bananas & vanilla. Mix until all moistened. Fill baking cups 2/3 full. Bake for 17-21 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Take them out and let them cool on a wire rack. In a small bowl melt the butter, and in a second bowl mix the sugar, brown sugar and cinnamon. Take the muffin and dip it in the butter and then the crumb mix. Do this to each muffin. It gives each muffin a crumbly topping. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Some Taliban decide to start a chicken farm. They get some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst. When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat confused, but they don't give up. They get some more chickens, but these are planted feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the second batch of chickens die, too. They decide to write a letter to the agriculture bureau. In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they have followed and their disappointing results. A few weeks later they receive this reply from the bureau: "Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample." ___________________________________________________
tool station - not under my roof
____________________________________________________ While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!" ____________________________________________________ Sue wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appointment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday she got there by 9 a.m and there were already ten people waiting. Sue drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so she went home. Her husband greeted her at the door. "That was fast !" he said cheerfully. "And your hair looks great!" ____________________________________________________
An LED hula hoop makes for some interesting light painting.

Today on February 28
1827 The Baltimore & Ohio Railroad became the first railroad 
 incorporated for commercial transportation of people and freight. 
1844 Several people were killed aboard the USS Princeton when a 
 12-inch gun exploded. 
1849 Regular steamboat service to California via Cape Horn arrived 
 in San Francisco for the first time. The SS California had left 
 New York Harbor on October 6, 1848. The trip took 4 months and 
 21 days. 
1854 The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 50 
 slavery opponents began the new political group. 
1883 The first vaudeville theater opened. 
1893 Edward G. Acheson showed his patent for Carborundum. 
1900 In South Africa, British troops relieved Ladysmith, which 
 had been under siege since November 2, 1899. 
1911 Thomas A. Edison, Inc. was organized. 
1940 The first televised basketball game was shown. The game 
 featured Fordham University and the University of Pittsburgh 
 from Madison Square Gardens in New York. 
1951 A Senate committee issued a report that stated that there 
 were at least two major crime syndicates in the U.S. 
1953 In a Cambridge University laboratory, scientists James D. 
 Watson and Francis H.C. Crick discovered the double-helix 
 structure of DNA. 
1956 A patent was issued to Forrester for a computer memory core. 
1974 The U.S. and Egypt re-established diplomatic relations after 
 a break of seven years. 
1983 "M*A*S*H" became the most watched television program in 
 history when the final episode aired. 
1986 Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme was assassinated in 
 Stockholm. 
1993 U.S. Federal agents raided the compound of an armed religious 
 cult in Waco, TX. The ATF had planned to arrest the leader of 
 the Branch Davidians, David Koresh, on federal firearms charges. 
 Four agents and six Davidians were killed and a 51-day standoff 
 followed. 
1994 NATO made its first military strike when U.S. F-16 fighters 
 shot down four Bosnian Serb warplanes in violation of a no-fly 
 zone over central Bosnia. 
1995 The Denver International Airport opened after a 16-month delay. 
1998 Serbian police began a campaign to wipe out "terrorist gangs" 
 in the Yugoslav province of Kosovo. 
2002 In Ahmadabad, India, Hindus set fire to homes in a Muslim 
 neighborhood. At least 55 people were killed in the attack. 
2007 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft made a gravitational slingshot 
 against Jupiter to change the planned trajectory towards Pluto. 
2013 Benedict XVI resigned as pope. He was the first pope to 
 resign since Gregory XII in 1415 and the first to resign 
 voluntarily since Celestine V in 1294. 
2016  smiled.


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Origin of pictures 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, February 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Cold Spring, Minnesota, bonehead, who was jealous because his wife was spending more time with their 4 month old than him. He tried to shoot her while she is breastfeeding the baby. Lucky for her, the gun jams. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 27, in 1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration. History ______________________________________________________ We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for. --- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much. --- John Wayne (1907 - 1979) A short saying oft contains much wisdom. --- Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC) "You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him." --- Leo Aikman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Clyde The judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It's made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?" "Well, I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband's parents." The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don't have a car." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes,both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music - all that hip hop and rap tap - but we can't seem to do anything about it." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes. Sure does.He gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee." The judge asked, "Is your husband a nagger?" "Oh, hell no, he's as white as you and me!" Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why in hell do you want a divorce? "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce, my husband does. The damn fool says he can't communicate with me." Sent from my rotary phone Clyde unsubscribed a month ago because he was going to a hospice to die. He still continues to chirp in now and then. Hang in there, Clyde! ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A taxicab went out of control and raced crazily through traffic like some Toyotas with faulty chips are apt to do. "Can't you stop it?" the passenger yelled at the driver. "No!" shouted the driver. "Well," said the passenger, "at least turn off the meter!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas George Lehmeier, 28 Cold Spring, Minnesota Cold Spring, Minnesota, bonehead is jealous his wife is spending more time with their 4 month old than him. He tries to shoot her while she is breastfeeding the baby. Lucky for her, the gun jams. A 28-year-old Cold Spring man is accused of abusing his wife for over 10 years, including nearly shooting her while she breastfed their baby last summer, according to charges filed in Stearns County. Nicholas George Lehmeier faces one felony count of second- degree assault with a dangerous weapon – a firearm – in connection to the July 2015 incident. According to the complaint, on Monday, Feb. 8, a woman spoke to a deputy at the sheriff’s office and reported that Lehmeier had been subjecting her to physical and verbal abuse for over 10 years. She said in July, Lehmeier took a 12-gauge shotgun, loaded it and pointed it at her as she was breastfeeding their 4-month-old baby. She said she remembered him cocking the gun and pulling the trigger about 3 to 4 feet from her, but it didn’t go off. He was allegedly upset that she was spending more time with the child than him. According to the complaint, the incident happened the first night they were able to bring the child home since their five children were removed from the home due to a prior incident. In that prior incident, Lehmeier was charged and convicted with assaulting their 7-year-old child. The complaint continues that after the shotgun incident, he went and grabbed a handgun, along with one round, saying “one bullet is all I need to end this.” The victim thought he was going to shoot her, but he then allegedly went downstairs and shot the gun out of a window because he didn’t want to shoot her. The victim said she didn’t tell authorities because she was too afraid, and that he always threatened to kill her or the children. She said he also controlled all their finances, controlled who she was friends with and never allowed her to have anything private in her life. The victim also accused Lehmeier of raping her and that he said because they were married she had to have sex with him. If convicted, Lehmeier faces up to seven years in prison and/or a $14,000 fine. In Minnesota what he did is apparently not a big deal. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Picture Origin Dear Webby Thanks for that Today Bonnie Smiled - I actually did when I read it! But here's what I wanted to share with you and all your subscribers. Did you know that if you come across a picture on the Internet that you can't identify or figure out where/what it is, you can Right Click once and then type S (not case sensitive) and there's a very good chance you will find that image somewhere with the info you want. I'm not sure if this will work in Internet Explorer; for sure in Chrome. I just did that with today's photo, since it didn't look like I could use it effectively for my desktop background that I change every day, and found not only that photo but tons of other similar ones. If you want to edit this & include it in the letter as a tip for all, feel free. In any case, hey, have a great day up there in your part of the world! Bonnie in Candia, NH Dear Bonnie Thanks for a very valuable tip! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. "He's on a studded snow tire, somewhere in Wisconsin." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Hot Chocolate Bar for Parties By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] At your next holiday, why not warm up your guests by having a hot chocolate bar. It was a big hit at our son's birthday party, especially for the kids! We had both a large crockpot with a ladle and an electric kettle for hot water. Supplies: hot chocolate mix whipped cream candy canes (crushed or whole) mini marshmallows sprinkles cups with lids and sleeves stir sticks ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Connie A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted: "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than a $20, I wouldn't be eating here." ___________________________________________________
why women have handbags
____________________________________________________ A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before." "That's OK", she replied. "Just pick around the already blessed stuff." ____________________________________________________ It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!" ____________________________________________________
People are AWESOME!

Today on February 27
1700 The Pacific Island of New Britain was discovered. 
1801 The city of Washington, DC, was placed under 
 congressional jurisdiction. 
1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration. 
1861 In Warsaw, Russian troops fired on a crowd protesting 
 Russian rule over Poland. Five protesting marchers were 
 killed in the incident. 
1867 Dr. William G. Bonwill invented the dental mallet. 
1883 Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling 
 machine. 
1896 The "Charlotte Observer" published a picture of an X-ray 
 photograph made by Dr. H.L. Smith. The photograph showed a 
 perfect picture of all the bones of a hand and a bullet that 
 Smith had placed between the third and fourth fingers in the palm. 
1900 In South Africa, the British received an unconditional 
 surrender from Boer Gen. Piet Cronje at Paardeberg. 
1933 The Reichstag, Germany's parliament building in Berlin, was 
 set afire. The Nazis accused Communist for the fire. 
1939 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes. 
1949 Chaim Weizmann became the first Israeli president. 
1951 The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified, 
 limiting U.S. Presidents to two terms. 
1973 The American Indian Movement occupied Wouned Knee in 
 South Dakota. 
1982 Wayne B. Williams was convicted of murdering two of the 
 28 black children and young adults whose bodies were found in 
 Atlanta, GA, over a two-year period. 
1990 The Exxon Corporation and Exxon Shipping were indicted on 
 five criminal counts in reference to the 1989 Exxon Valdez 
 oil spill. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on 
 television that "Kuwait is liberated." 
1997 In Ireland, divorce became legal. 
1998 Britain's House of Lords agreed to give a monarch's 
 first-born daughter the same claim to the throne as any 
 first-born son. This was the end to 1,000 years of male 
 preference. 
1999 Colin Prescot and Andy Elson set a new hot air balloon 
 endurance record when they had been aloft for 233 hours 
 and 55 minutes. The two were in the process of trying to 
 circumnavigate the Earth. 
1999 Nigeria returned to civilian rule when Gen. Olusegun 
 Obasanjo became the country's first elected president since 
 August of 1983. 
2002 In Boston, twenty people working at Logan International 
 Airport were charged with lying to get their jobs or 
 security badges. 
2016  smiled.


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What is a BAT file? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, February 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in History ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Things weren't going too well in the Sunday School class. Nobody seemed to recall the identity of Matthew. Nor did they do any better with Mark. Finally, the teacher said hopefully, "Surely somebody remembers Peter!" A small boy in the last row came to the rescue. "Teacher," he piped, "wasn't he a wabbit?" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
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with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A son and father went to see a doctor since the father was getting very ill. The doctor told the father and son that the father was dying from cancer. The father who was an Irishman, turned to his son and said "Son, even on this gloomy day, its our tradition to drink to health as it is in death; so let's go to the pub and celebrate my demise." Reluctantly, the son followed his father to the local pub. After they left, the son turned to his father and said, "Father, it is not AIDS you are dying from. It is cancer, why did you lie to those men?" The father reply's "Aye, my son, you are right; but I know those guys, and I don't want any of those guys getting close to your mom when I'm gone. I KNOW her rolling pin swing and know she would wind up in jail over it, and then you, poor lad, would be all alone on this sad old world." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrew Willson, 48 Bacup, Lancs, England Drama teacher jailed for smearing naked 14 year old teen girl with Nutella during sex romps Andrew Willson had the youngster pulled out of a science lesson so they could romp at a pal's house. He made sure she was returned to the school in time to catch the bus home so her parents remained unaware, Burnley Crown Court was told. Willson even befriended the girl's parents over a mutual love of Leeds United FC. The teacher, from Bacup, Lancs, kissed and groped the girl after her family had visited him and his wife at their new home on their way to a match. Emma Kehoe, prosecuting, said the pair then had full sex for the first time. Willson, 48, was jailed for 20 months after admitting five charges of indecent assault from the mid-90s. Ms Kehoe said Willson was a "trendy, young teacher" who was popular with a number of students but especially girls. The victim shone at drama and was cast in lead roles by the teacher. That involved her spending a lot of time in his company both inside and away from school. He first kissed her and rubbed her over her clothing in a school office. Ms Kehoe said: "As soon as any contact between them began she felt butterflies in her stomach. "She was happy and loving the attention. "She does not say anywhere that she was not fully co-operating with what she saw as a relationship with her teacher." The pair smeared Nutella on each other’s naked bodies then licked off the chocolate spread. Ms Kehoe added the pair spent much of the day naked as they moved around the house. "The two of them had Nutella and the licked it from their naked bodies," she said. Willson would later kiss her while giving her a lift home and twice involved the girl in carrying out a sex act on him. Judge Jonathan Gibson said Willson had to go to jail for breaching the trust of a "pupil-teacher relationship". ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: June Re: What is a bat file? Dear Webby You mentioned "bat file" in your response about copying files to a back-up drive. I have heard them mentioned lots of times but never dared to ask for fear of appearing stupid. Can you finally fill me in ? June Dear June Bat files are simple text files that hold a BATch of commands. They are used for commands that are done the same way again and again. For example, if you always copy an accounting spreadsheet like C :\ProgramFiles\Excel\Data\Accounting\Business\2002\Incoming\Checks-US.xls to E :\Archive\Accounting\Business\2002\Incoming\Checks-US.xls then that takes quite a bit of mousing around, and it's not even a verified copy. To get a verified copy you could type at the command line copy sourcefile destinationfile /v (for source file and destination file you just fill in the actual full filenames with their path like I have them above there) Typing that at the command line is a bit tedious too, and prone to error. If you type that command into a text file, and save that text file with a .bat extension, then you can make an icon for it. By clicking on that icon that command is executed. You can put as many commands as you want into that bat file, one command per line. In the days before Windows we used to do very complicated tasks with just bat files that sometimes were many hundreds of lines long. At the end of the bat file put the word PAUSE and an empty line after that. That shows you what has been done and asks you to press any key. A key press then closes that window. COPY is not the only command that you can use. There are hundreds more. Another handy and easy one is DEL If you delete the temp files and cookies at the end of the shift, the DEL command will take care of them instantly. To avoid having each command echoed onto the little window that opens, you can put the line @echo off onto the first line. After that, if you do want a message to appear, put echo in front of the message like this: echo Copying to archive drive finished If you have to copy 37 files to 37 different places and delete 7 files, you simply put the commands for all that into a text file and save that as "shift-end.bat" Then make a desktop shortcut to that shift-end.bat. Whenever you click on that shortcut icon, all that work gets done at maximum speed without any mousing around. When it is done, you hit any key and the bat window closes. Of course, instead of "Shift-End.bat", you can use any name you want. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ My Mother taught me STYLE ... "If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com St. Patrick's Day Sherbet Float By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] Steps: Put two scoops of sherbet into a glass. add sherbet 2 Add the lemon-lime soda. Top with whipped cream and sprinkles. Finish it off with a rainbow candy. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" ___________________________________________________
footage when squirrel steals camera
____________________________________________________ Here is one that I re-wrote and shortened to this form a few years ago and that came back today: A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go fix them a couple drinks. As he's standing there he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beat red and says, "Gee, oh...I'm sorry...I..." She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray." ____________________________________________________ Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! --------- A family reunion is an effective form of birth control. ____________________________________________________
They turned this old water tower into a thing of beauty.

Today on February 26


2016  smiled.


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Possibly legit telemarketers 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, February 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Ontario teacher, freed on bail, faces 36 sex charges involving minors. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in 1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. History ______________________________________________________ You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. --- Cecil Baxter Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. There is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old already in the cell. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Topfive.com's Number 1 Reason More Americans are Having Nervous Breakdowns... " 1> Because the heightened levels of adrenal secretion caused by environmen-- HEY!!! Friggin' AOL disconnected me again!! " ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jaclyn Lindsay McLaren, also known as Jaclyn (Jackie) Jones, 36, Stirling, Ontario Ontario teacher freed on bail, faces 36 sex charges involving minors. A local elementary school teacher has been released from custody after being charged with 36 counts of sex crimes involving four minors. Jaclyn Lindsay McLaren, who is also known as Jaclyn (Jackie) Jones, 36, of Stirling, is free on a $100,000 bond. She appeared in a bail hearing Friday in Belleville court. Ontario Provincial Police confirmed the woman is employed as a teacher with the Belleville-based Hastings and Prince Edward District School Board. A ban on publication has been ordered to protect the identities of the complainants, four boys who were believed to have been students at the time of the alleged incidents. None of the allegations have been proven in court, nor, said the defence lawyer for the accused, has full disclosure of all information in the Crown's case been made to the accused and her lawyer. Ontario Provincial Police investigator Sgt. Peter Leon said the charges now involve four young people ages 12 to 15 and date from 2013 to 2016. Investigators say the incidents occurred in Tweed. Sources say it is believed the alleged incidents occurred when McLaren/Jones was a French teacher in Tweed. Sources also said she had been transferred out of that school in recent months, however. McLaren/Jones is charged with eight counts of sexual exploitation, six counts of luring a person younger than 16 and six counts of making sexually explicit material available to a person under 16. McLaren/Jones is charged with three counts of making child pornography and one count of making sexually explicit material available to children. She’s also charged with with four counts each of sexual assault on a person younger than 16, sexual interference with a person younger than 16 and making an invitation to sexual touching involving a person younger than 16. Police began investigating McLaren/Jones on Sunday Feb. 14. On Monday, Feb 15, they charged the teacher and she was held in custody until her release Friday in Belleville court. It is reported McLaren/Jones has been removed from her teaching position, but it is unclear if she is on paid leave while the matters are before the court. Represented by Belleville defence lawyer Pieter Kort, McLaren/Jones was released from custody into the care of her parents by Justice of the Peace Sam Cureatz. Cureatz ordered her not to have any contact with the four minors involved as complainants in the case or with any boy younger than 18. She must avoid public places where minors may gather and has been ordered not to possess a cell phone. Computers in her parents’ home were to be removed and McLaren/Jones is also banned from possessing weapons. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen B. Re: Possibly legit telemarketers Dear Webby A while ago you had some great advice about dealing with telemarketers. That works just fine and is a lot of fun with regular telemarketers. However, we also get calls from sales people from companies that we DO regularly buy supplies from. Naturally, if their salesmen call during busy times and try to practise their sales pitch on my receptionist, she follows your advice and either sends them to the rejection line or asks them if they like goats. She is a very sweet and otherwise very proper lady in her mid sixties and I almost wet my pants the first time I heard her do that. The problem is that some of our suppliers don't have a sense of humor and get into a snit about it. What solution have you got for salesmen of potentially legitimate suppliers who simply call at a too busy time? Thanks Helen B Dear Helen Your receptionist can simply tell them to send you an email. The flakey telemarketers don't have email, and the others you can weed out a lot faster than phone answering machine messages. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry i can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured i want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups By attosa [181 Posts, 440 Comments] Making homemade fruit roll ups is one of the ways I like to use up apples that have gotten a bit soft. Making this cinnamon apple takes only a few ingredients, but technically, you could just use just apples for a super healthy plain one. Approximate Time: 3 hours Yield: 4 fruit roll ups Ingredients: 2 medium apples (I used 1 Gala and 1 Red Delicious) 1/4 cup water 1 Tbsp sugar 1 tsp cinnamon Steps: Preheat oven to 175 F. Peel and chop apples. Place them in a pot with water and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook for 10 minutes until they're soft. Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups Add sugar and cinnamon. Give it a mashing, and cook another couple minutes. Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups Place this mixture into a blender and process until smooth. Pour onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (or a Silpat). Spread into a nice, even thin layer. Bake for 2 to 3 hours. It's ready when you touch it and it doesn't stick to your fingers. Let cool and cut into strips. They will easily peel off the parchment paper. I don't peel apples, ever! That's where the healthy stuff is. I just core them and then use a blender to purree the stuff. Because I am a diabetic, I don't use sugar. A very ripe pear sweetens it quite nicely. Once in a while, to get an interesting change, I toss in Anis seed or ground cloves. And I skip the water, since it just gets boiled away anyway. With a good blender, that has a "purree" setting,there is no need for water. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A lady was shopping for a turkey in a grocery store and after pawing through the freezer section and growing dissatisfied with the small ones that were left, she turned to the stock boy and asked snippily, "Don't these turkeys get any bigger?" To which he calmly replied, "No maam. They're dead!" ___________________________________________________
When the Roses Bloom Again - Wilco
____________________________________________________ "Earl says he used to yearn for a pretty women .....now the "Y" is silent" ____________________________________________________ As a token of appreciation for their excellent work Gary and Bill got invited to a convention in New York City. There they were wined and dined by the top brass. When they finally staggered out into fresh air, Bill crossed the street, while Gary stumbled into a subway entrance. When Bill reached the other side, he noticed Gary emerging from the subway stairs. "Where've you been?" Bill slurred. "I don't know," replied Gary, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement." ____________________________________________________
Unlikely Friends

Today on February 25
1570 England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pius V.
1751 Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act 
 in the U.S. 
1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) 
 for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. 
1837 Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical 
 motor. There was no practical electical distribution system 
 available and Davenport went bankrupt. 
1901 The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. Morgan. 
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized a graduated (Marxist) income tax. 
1919 The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax 
 on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. 
1930 The bank check photographing device was patented. 
1933 The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first 
 ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel 
 up as an aircraft carrier. 
1940 The New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens played in 
 the first hockey game to be televised in the U.S. The game 
 was aired on W2WBS in New York with one camera in a fixed 
 position. The Rangers beat the Canadiens 6-2. 
1948 Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia. 
1956 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late 
 Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress 
 in Moscow. 
1972 Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorist who 
 had hijacked a jumbo jet. 
1986 Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the 
 Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election. 
1999 William King was sentenced to death for the racial murder 
 of James Byrd Jr in Jasper, TX. Two other men charged were 
 later convicted for their involvement. 
2000 In Albany, NY, a jury acquitted four New York City 
 police officers of second-degree murder and lesser charges 
 in the February 1999 shooting death of Amadou Diallo. 
2005 Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings 
 in Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced 
 to 10 life prison terms.
2016  smiled.


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Priotities when buying a computer on a budget 



Good Morning, ,

Today is WWednesday, February 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Ohio woman, who did not get a Valentines day gift from her husband. So she ttook a bat and beat him unconcious. Kept beating him until he regained conciousness.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in 1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. History ______________________________________________________ Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his. --- Franklin P. Jones The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This couple were dining out when the wife noticed her ex-husband at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "Wow!", George exclaimed, "Seven years ! That's quite some celebration !" ______________________________________________________
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or
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with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Artur absolutely hated his wife Susan's dog decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the dog was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the dog 40 blocks away and the same again. Driving back up his driveway, there was the dog! He kept taking the dog further and further and the darn dog would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the dog there. Hours later, the Artur called home to Susan: "Susan, is the dog there?" "Yes", the Susan answered..."why do you ask?" Frustrated, Artur answered: "Send him to fetch me. I'm lost and need directions!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kimberly Hammond, 48, Parkersburg, Washington County, Ohio Ohio woman did not get a Valentines day gift from her husband. So she ttook a bat and beat him unconcious. Kept beating him until he regained conciousness. An Ohio woman assaulted her husband during an argument because he did not buy her a Valentine’s Day gift, deputies told WTAP. Washington County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to a home just outside Parkersburg, Ohio around 11 a.m. Sunday and found a man with several injuries. The man told deputies his wife, Kimberly Hammond, 46, had been drinking and began to hit and scratch his face during a verbal altercation. She then allegedly grabbed a mini baseball bat and struck him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. Hammond continued to attack her husband as he regained consciousness, according to deputies. According to deputies, Hammond said she was upset because her husband did not buy her a gift on Valentine’s Day. Hammond admitted to drinking and blew a .221 during a breathalyzer test. She was arrested for felonious assault and domestic violence, according to deputies. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harvey W. Re: Priority on new computer Dear Webby We are going to take the plunge and buy a computer. We have been using our daughter's, but she and her hubby are moving out to a place of their own. Unfortunately we can't afford a fully decked out dream machine and have to cut corners on something. Which corner should we cut short, and which item should get priority? Harvey Dear Harvey Priority is the monitor. You can always get more RAM or a faster processor, but you can't get new eyes. Even a big, beautiful 24 inch screen costs less than a new pair of glasses. If computer dealers had the same mark-ups as Optometrists, a monitor would cost more than a car. Second highest priority, after you have chosen the biggest and sharpest monitor, is RAM. Get as much as you can. Hard drive and processor speed are irrelevant for casual home use. They only count when the kids brag on the school bus. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Keli: Mary, what exactly is an "oxymoron"? Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like "deafening silence." Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Baked Salmon Cakes By Judy Pariser S. 91 76 These salmon cakes are baked in muffin tins. They are moist, tasty and healthy. They freeze well for future meals, and go great in lunch boxes. Approximate Time: 30 minutes Yield: 8-10 salmon cakes Ingredients: 1 can (14 3/4 oz) salmon, drained with skin and bones removed 1 1/2 cup soft whole wheat bread crumbs (I used the heel and one slice of bread) 1/2 cup sweet red pepper, chopped fine 1/2 cup egg substitute (I used 2 eggs) 3 green onions, thinly sliced (I used 1/2 an onion, finely chopped) 1/4 cup celery, chopped fine 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, minced (I used a small amount of dried) 3 Tbsp mayonnaise 1 Tbsp lemon juice 1 garlic clove, minced a few dashes hot pepper sauce, more if desired Sauce 2 Tbsp mayonnaise 1/4 tsp capers, drained 1/4 tsp dried dill weed a dash of lemon juice Steps: In a large bowl combine the first 11 ingredients. Spray muffin tins with cooking spray. Use 1/3 cup salmon mixture for each muffin tin. (The recipe says 8, but I filled 10 muffin tins). Put water in any unfilled tins. Bake at 425°F for 10-15 minutes, or until a thermometer reads 160°F. While the cakes are baking, combine the sauce ingredients in a small bowl. Serve the cakes with some sauce on the top. Nutritional Facts: 2 salmon cakes with 1 1/2 teaspoons of sauce = 266 calories, 9 g fat (2 g saturated fat), 48 mg cholesterol, 914 mg sodium, 17 g carbs, 3 g fiber, 28 g protein. Source: Taste of Home newsletter You can use that recipe also with canned tuna. Rinse it well with lemon water. And modify the recipe slightly by adding very finely chopped onion. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Bobbie went to a church conference with his parents.. He got restless, so his mother dug into her voluminous purse and found him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the preacher said the word "and." After a while, he grew bored, and she asked, "Do you want to listen for a different word?" "Yes," he said, none too quietly, "I want to hear 'AMEN!!!'." ___________________________________________________
Expand your Key Fob range - Interesting experiment
____________________________________________________ Scott and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. They each found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Scott. "I was a bit puzzled at first, but then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," said Pete, "but I wrote down Horticulturist." ____________________________________________________ Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made. The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Alabama town: "PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST." ____________________________________________________
Sink holes are appearing all over the world and no one knows why or what to do.

Today on February 23
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded 
 in Waltham, MA. 
1820 The Cato Street conspiracy was uncovered. 
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista 
 in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary. 
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union. 
1874 Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike." 
 More widely known as lawn tennis. 
1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 
1883 Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an 
 antitrust law. 
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 
 It had been produced before in France, but not in large 
 quantities.
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake 
 that killed about 2,000. 
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 
1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, 
 "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism 
 and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 
1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa 
 between the Boers and the British army. 
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for 
 $10 million. 
1910 In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 
1916 The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial 
 $1 gold coin. 
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini. 
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, 
 hours of operation and power allocations for radio 
 broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the 
 Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 
1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial 
 battle with the Japanese.
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 
1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the U.S. 
 Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph of 
 these Marines raising the American flag was taken. 
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio 
 began in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1958 Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped 
 by Cuban rebels. 
1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military coup. 
1970 Guyana became a republic. 
1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more for 
 the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on 
 February 4th. 
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new 
 parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken 
 on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the 
 border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than four 
 days later the war was over due to the surrender or withdraw of 
 Iraqi forces. 
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents. 
1997 NBC-TV aired "Schindler's List." It was completely 
 uncensored. 
1997 Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire 
 on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire 
 State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more 
 before killing himself. 
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged 
 and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 
1999 In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with treason. 
 The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for the 
 Kurdish rebel leader. 
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of 
 kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged 
 behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 
 200 feet over an oncoming train. 
2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced 
 that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of 
 the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 
 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people 
 had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified.
2016  smiled.


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Professional size hard drive 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, February 23

Yes, I know that you can NOT vote  for "Daily Thrifty Fun" 
or ANY of the newsletters. 

Voting at the Ezinefinder does not work.
They are stuck in 2014, and nobody  there at Ezinefinder 
is competent enough to switch it to 2016.
I don't know what happened to Lewis.

They are NOT on any Webby server, they are on some Apple 
or Mac on the Westcoast, and there is nothing I can do 
about it. They are too snooty to answer me. 

You can try writing to them and see if you get a response.

support@cumuli.com
support@cumuli.com
thrifty@thriftyfun.com
lewis@cumuli.com
support@thriftyfun.com

Good Luck!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh teacher, whose 14 year old sex partner had naked pictures of her all over his phone.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 23, in 1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. History ______________________________________________________ Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from. --- Jodie Foster (1962 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Road signs are a real indication of what an area is like. Here in Virginia we have signs saying "Deer Crossing". At Yellowstone you have signs saying "Bear Crossing". In Africa you have signs saying "Elephant Crossing". And in Washington you have signs saying "Double Crossing". ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
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______________________________________________________ The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy. ______________________________________________________ El Chalten Fitzroy Argentina From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stacy Lynn Hooks, 38, Sebring, Floriduh. Floriduh teacher, whose 14 year old se partner had naked pictures of her all over his phone. A Florida middle school teacher had sex five times with a 14-year-old boy she taught and appeared naked in photos on his cell phone, police said Friday. Stacy Lynn Hooks, 38, admitted she had intercourse with her student three times and engaged in oral sex twice in their five encounters, according to a police report cited by Highlands Today. Investigators said they discovered two nude pictures of her and a collage of her butt on the boy’s phone. Hooks was arrested Thursday and charged with lewd battery, electronic 6transmission of material harmful to a minor and travelling to meet a minor to engage in unlawful sexual conduct. Hooks is a 15-year veteran elementary and middle school teacher from Sebring, which is about 85 miles southeast of Tampa. She has taught since 2012 at Hill-Gustat Middle School, where the website lists her as a science teacher. Officials with the School Board of Highlands County placed her on administrative leave ahead of a Tuesday vote on whether to suspend her without pay and an investigation that could lead to her firing, the local newspaper reported. Investigators with the Highlands County Sheriff’s Office received word Monday of inappropriate contact between her and a middle school student. Deputies said she revealed in an interview Thursday that the pair struck up a relationship in May 2015 and last had sex Feb. 5. Hooks was incarcerated on a $625,000 bond after her arrest. $625,000 bond for a teacher! That is a jail sentence without court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Birga Re: Professional size hard drive Dear Webby what do they mean with 'professional size hard drive' ? Is that a really huge harddrive? Birga Dear Birga No, quite the opposite. Beginners clutter up their hard drives with all kinds of stuff that they some day want to try. For that they need huge drives. Since beginners usually don't back up, defrag or scan anyway, big drives are OK for them. Professionals keep their drives clean and lean so that they can back up quickly, and so that they can defrag or scan during a coffee break. For that reason pros usually try to get the smallest and fastest drives they can for their working machines. For back-up purposes size is not critical. What is important there is that the back-up drive is either a removable or a portable drive so that it can be stored at a different location that would not be affected if there is a burglary, fire or other disaster at the location of the working machine. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change some- thing on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Rep told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens or the crystal or... The bride said, "No, no, keep all the important stuff the same. I just want to change the name of the groom." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Vegetables in Hanging Baskets By EllenB 799 1 Many veggies can be grown in hanging baskets. Some people like to refer to this as "minigardening". The best candidates are vegetables with compact or sprawling growth habits like squash, mini peppers, tomatoes, eggplants, runner or pole beans, peas, and cucumbers. Mini, compact, or dwarf varieties tend to work best because the fruits are smaller (and lighter) and less apt to grow too heavy for the plant. You can certainly use up your "full-sized" seeds; just expect to see diminished returns in fruit size and overall production. Strawberries, assorted greens, and a variety of herbs can also be grown successfully in hanging baskets. Alone or mixed in with a few edible flowers (like nasturtiums), a hanging basket full of cascading vegetables is both colorful and practical. Here are a few tips to keep in mind: Make sure your basket is large enough to accommodate the roots of whatever type of vegetable you decide to grow. Use the deepest, widest baskets you can and fill them with a lightweight potting mix (regular garden soil will be too heavy). Use a soil retention product and solid-style baskets to help prevent the soil from drying out too quickly. Check moisture levels daily-twice a day during extreme heat. Fertilize veggies regularly using a slow release organic fertilizer or compost tea. Baskets should hang in a location that receives at least 6 hours of sun per day. Give baskets a quarter to a half turn once each week to encourage even growth. Avoid hanging your baskets too high. Remember you will need to access them daily. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political election. "More on candidates at 10 P.M.," he said. Bill's ten-year-old son looked at me in disbelief. "I didn't know they could call politicians 'morons' on national television!" he said. ___________________________________________________
Expand your Key Fob range - Interesting experiment
____________________________________________________ Driving to a new restaurant, Judy took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?" "I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where we're going when I'm driving." ____________________________________________________ Although born to a Catholic family, Chester had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal conversion process. He studied Judaism all semester. Finally, he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the conversion. On the appointed day, he arrived at the Rabbi's office, ready to begin. The Rabbi said, "I'm sorry, but before I give you the test, I must discuss my fee, It's $5,000." "$5,000!" exclaimed Chester, "That's a lot of money. How about $500?" "Congratulations, you pass." said the Rabbi. ____________________________________________________
It's a woollies roundup. I love watching Border Collies work sheep.

Today on February 23
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded 
 in Waltham, MA. 
1820 The Cato Street conspiracy was uncovered. 
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista 
 in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary. 
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union. 
1874 Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike." 
 More widely known as lawn tennis. 
1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 
1883 Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an 
 antitrust law. 
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 
 It had been produced before in France, but not in large 
 quantities.
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake 
 that killed about 2,000. 
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 
1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, 
 "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism 
 and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 
1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa 
 between the Boers and the British army. 
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for 
 $10 million. 
1910 In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 
1916 The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial 
 $1 gold coin. 
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini. 
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, 
 hours of operation and power allocations for radio 
 broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the 
 Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 
1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial 
 battle with the Japanese.
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 
1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the U.S. 
 Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph of 
 these Marines raising the American flag was taken. 
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio 
 began in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1958 Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped 
 by Cuban rebels. 
1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military coup. 
1970 Guyana became a republic. 
1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more for 
 the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on 
 February 4th. 
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new 
 parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken 
 on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the 
 border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than four 
 days later the war was over due to the surrender or withdraw of 
 Iraqi forces. 
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents. 
1997 NBC-TV aired "Schindler's List." It was completely 
 uncensored. 
1997 Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire 
 on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire 
 State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more 
 before killing himself. 
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged 
 and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 
1999 In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with treason. 
 The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for the 
 Kurdish rebel leader. 
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of 
 kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged 
 behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 
 200 feet over an oncoming train. 
2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced 
 that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of 
 the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 
 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people 
 had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified.
2016  smiled.


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Camera for keeps 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, February 22
The full moon sure is big and bright. My evening walk was
quite enjoyable.

If you want a whole bunch of keyboard shortcuts, go to
http://www.ba-bamail.com/content.aspx?emailid=19537

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Amanda Nicole Savage and husband Gary Lee Savage, leave 5 year old in frozen car as they go shoplifting at Priscilla’s Lingerie Store in Myrtle Beach, S.C.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 22, in 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. History ______________________________________________________ The shortest distance between two points is under construction. --- Noelie Altito ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A hunting guide got himself into a bit of a fix. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. "You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!" they asserted. "I am," he said, "but I think we're in Wyoming now." ______________________________________________________
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February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
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______________________________________________________ Two-year-old Paige was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!" ______________________________________________________ Summer In Australia, from FB. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Nicole Savage, 24, Gary Lee Savage, 26, Elberton, Georgia. Amanda Nicole Savage and husband Gary Lee Savage, leave 5 year old in frozen car as they go shoplifting at Priscilla’s Lingerie Store in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Two cold-hearted parents left their 5-year-old child in a frigid car when they tried to heat up their Valentine's Day by stealing sex toys, police said. Amanda Nicole Savage, 24, and Gary Lee Savage, 26, got caught lifting toys and lubricants from Priscilla’s Lingerie Store in Myrtle Beach, S.C., on Sunday night, according to an arrest report cited by WBTW-TV. Police officers who cuffed the Elberton, Ga., couple around 11 p.m. Sunday found the kid locked in their car in 36-degree weather, the court documents showed. They now face shoplifting and child cruelty charges. Myrtle Beach police said staff told them the child languished in the car “for a while” as the husband and wife browsed around the Kings Highway shop. A sensor alarm went off when they tried to leave, according to cops. Police said they couldn’t find any guests matching the couple's names at a hotel where they claimed they were staying, and the car looked like the family was living in it. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Camera for keeps Dear Webby I need a digital camera, but a decent one this time. I have tried those $69 cameras that are advertised in spam as being crystal clear and razor sharp. Total waste of money. Now I am willing to spend some real money and get a camera that will do me for many years and that is good enough to make it worth while making an effort to get good at using it. What should I get and why? Chris Dear Chris First decide which color scheme you prefer. Get a disposable Kodak and a disposable Fuji. Tale the same pictures with both cameras. When they have been printed, you will notice that the Kodak prints are a warmer tint, and the Fuji are a colder, more greenish tint. I am by no means saying that one color rendition is better than the other. YOU have to decide which rendition looks better in YOUR eyes. If you prefer the Kodak type, get a Canon or Kodak camera. If you prefer the Fuji rendition, get a Nikon or Fuji. Once you have decided on which side of the isle to shop, get the best, that you can afford on THAT side of the isle. If you shop on the wrong side of the isle, you simply won't be happy, no matter how good the camera is. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Q:What does Thor, the god of Thunder, wear under his armor? A:Thunderwear ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottles for Storing Flower Seeds By Diane W. 4 2 I love to collect flower seeds from my own flowers to plant the next season or to share with others. I also like to collect from other places, but often found myself using napkins, or scrap paper as an impromptu container. Then it hit me! I started saving prescription bottles and added labels to them to use as collection containers! I keep a few in my car, large purse, and of course at home. Now I'm ready when I'm out and about where I can collect seeds! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Norman and his wife Marina live in Michigan. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the EVEN numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and with much huffing and puffing moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the ODD numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week, again during breakfast, the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...........", then the electric power goes out. Marina says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time? Until you get your drivers license back, I am not going to buy you any gas anyway." ___________________________________________________
people are awesome at their jobs
____________________________________________________ Henry Kissinger goes to see a poor man and says, "I want to arrange a marriage for your son. "The poor man replies, "I never interfere in my son's life." Kissinger responds, "But the girl is Lord Rothscild's daughter." "Well, in that case..." Next Kissinger approaches Lord Rothschild. "I have a husband for your daughter." "But my daughter is too young to marry." "But this young man is already a vice president of the World Bank." "Ah, in that case..." Finally Kissinger goes to see the president of the World Bank. "I have a young man to recommend to you as a vice president." "But I already have more vice presidents than I need." "But this young man is Lord Rothschild's son-in-law." "Ah, in that case...." ____________________________________________________ On her birthday Karen announced to the whole family: "From now on, starting tomorrow, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV." True to her word, promptly the next morning she moved the TV into her bedroom. ____________________________________________________
I never knew these horses existed!

Today on February 22
1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists 
 at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 
1784 "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New 
 York City for the Far East. 
1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 
1860 Organized baseball’s first game was played in San 
 Francisco, CA. 
1865 In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution 
 that abolished slavery. 
1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 
 5 and 10-cent store. 
1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit 
 opened in Emeryville, CA. 
1923 The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los 
 Angeles, CA. It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 
1973 The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish 
 liaison offices. 
1984 The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state 
 of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with 
 an increase in population of 19.2 percent. 
1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced 
 that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was 
 actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal 
 to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. 
2002 In the Philippines, An MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed 
 into the ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 
2010 A copy of "Action Comics #1" sold at auction for $1 million. 
 The comic featured the introduction of Superman. 
2010 Walmart announced it was acquiring the video streaming 
 company Vudu, Inc. 
2016  smiled.


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How to show a Web address into an email 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, February 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Drunk PA woman tried to take down a bouncer and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, police officers with her best wrestling moves and football tackles. She also punched a cop in the face.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 21, in 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, causing even more killing than Mohammed did. History ______________________________________________________ The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. --- Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - 2011) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After much urging by his wife, Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket. An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other. "Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Before Bill's daughter went off to college, he took her on a vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car. They visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, he noticed it swaying in the wind. Then a car went past them, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath their feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," he finally said. "What are you worried about?" his daughter replied. "It's a rental." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christi Howell a Casey Shackleford Kaufman County, Texas Texas mother, boyfriend charged with waterboarding her 13-year-old son and tying rope around his genitals A Texas mother and her boyfriend are accused of waterboarding her 13-year-old son and tying a rope around his genitals. Christi Howell poured water over the boy's mouth and nose while Casey Shackleford held a towel over his face, Kaufman County investigators charge in an affidavit. The boy told investigators he was punished for admitting he touched the family dog in an inappropriate way. Shackleford, while trying to get an explanation, would slap the boy in the face if he broke eye contact, according to WFAA. Shackleford ordered Howell to get a "pig rope" and tie it to the boy's "private parts," according to the station. Howell "pulled on the rope as if she was trying to pull him around and off the couch," according to a warrant obtained by the station. Shackleford then commanded Howell to tie the rope around the boy's neck while it was still connected to his genitals, WFAA reported. Shackleford pushed him onto the couch, causing him pull the rope tighter, according to the report. The rope was tied to his genitals for "five to ten minutes," according to the station. The boy suffered cuts and burns from the rope. Christi Howell and Casey Shackleford are facing charges of felony injury to a child. The teen also said he had been been previously punished by Howell for not doing push-ups correctly. Howell "would hit him 20 to 30 times in the back, butt, and elbows with a stick," according to the station. Howell admitted she tied the rope around the teen, but said her beau "came up with the idea and told her to do it," according to the station. She also admitted she waterboarded her son. Waterboarding is a controversial interrogation technique that was banned by the U.S. in questioning terror suspects. Both Howell and Shackleford are facing charges of felony injury to a child. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Trudy Re: Web address into an email Dear Webby How do I put a web address into an email so that the people who get it can click on it to jump to that web site? Trudy Most readers will be able to use it as a link if you just copy the web address from the browser location field and paste it like this: http://webby.com/humor/ For AOLers and a few others you have to use this form: Click here Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Bob has an inferiority complex. However, according to him, it's not a very good one. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottles for Storing Flower Seeds By Diane W. 4 2 I love to collect flower seeds from my own flowers to plant the next season or to share with others. I also like to collect from other places, but often found myself using napkins, or scrap paper as an impromptu container. Then it hit me! I started saving prescription bottles and added labels to them to use as collection containers! I keep a few in my car, large purse, and of course at home. Now I'm ready when I'm out and about where I can collect seeds! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Police was dispatched to an Ohio college campus this week to break up a fight involving two group of students, about 35 students total were involved. A group of black students saw what they thought were members of the KKK white supremacist organization parading around the campus. They took offense and proceeded to yell and throw empty bottles at them. A fight followed. It turned out that they were members of a campus fraternity that were going to a Halloween party dressed as the Pope and his entourage of Cardinals... That'll teach people about wearing "evil" costumes! ___________________________________________________
Throw and Shoot Camera
____________________________________________________ A man walks up the counter and says, "I'll have 2 pounds of Tofu." The man at the counter says, "Oh, you must be from California." The man responds, "How stereotypical! If I had ordered Pepperoni would you think I was Italian?" "No." answers the man at the counter. And besides, pepperoni is more Sicilian than Italian. "If I had ordered Wienerschnitzel would you have thought I was German," he asks. "No." says the man behind the counter, "and besides, Wiener Schnitzel are from Wien, the capital of Austria." "Then why," he asks, "would you think I was from California???" The man looks up from the counter and says, "'Cause you're in a hardware store." ____________________________________________________ A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The women just won't leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." And so on. After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who's driving this car anyway? You or your mother?" ____________________________________________________
I never knew these horses existed!

Today on February 21
1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was 
 demonstrated in Wales. 
1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 
1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx 
 and Friedrich Engels. 
1858 The first electric burglar alarm was installed in 
 Boston, MA. 
1878 The first telephone directories issued in the U.S. 
 were distributed to residents in New Haven, CT. It was 
 a single page of only fifty names. 
1916 During World War I, the Battle of Verdun began in 
 France. The battle ended on December 18, 1916 with an 
 Allied victory over Germany. 
932 William N. Goodwin patented the camera exposure meter. 
1947 Edwin Land demonstrated the Polaroid Land Camera to 
 the Optical Society of America in New York City. It was 
 the first camera to take, develop and print a picture on 
 photo paper all in about 60 seconds. The photos were black 
 and white. The camera went on sale the following year. 
1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age 
 of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. 
1973 Israeli fighter planes shot down a Libyan Airlines 
 jet over the Sinai Desert. More than 100 people were killed. 
1988 In Baton Rouge, LA, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart 
 confessed to his congregation that he was guilty of an 
 unspecified sin. He announced that he was leaving the pulpit 
 temporarily. Swaggart had been linked to an admitted 
 prostitute. 
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah Khomeini's 
 death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie 
 "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized behavior." 
1995 Chicago stockbroker Steve Fossett became the first person 
 to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon. He landed 
 in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada. 
2003 David Hasselhoff and his wife Pamela were injured in a 
 motorcycle accident. The accident was caused by a strong gust 
 of wind. Hasselhoff fractured his lower back and broke several 
 ribs. His wife fractured her left ankle and right wrist. 
2016  smiled.


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Make a CD unusable, but keep the print side undisturbed 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, February 20

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Drunk PA woman tried to take down a bouncer and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, police officers with her best wrestling moves and football tackles. She also punched a cop in the face.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 18, in 1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London. History ______________________________________________________ We always like those who admire us; we do not always like those whom we admire. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ By chance, John Smith witnessed a mugging. About an hour later, the cops arrived, and the officer in charge asked the witness his name. "John Smith," said Smith. "Cut the funny business," the cop barked sharply. "What's your real name?" "All right," said Smith, "put me down as Albert Einstein." "That's more like it," said the man in blue. "You can't fool ME with that Smith stuff." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ At the company water cooler, the office braggart was boring his fellow workers as usual. His topic of the day was about his children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another working in southern Italy. Then he told everyone that his daughter was working on a year's research project in India. "What is it about you," a co-worker finally asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away from you ?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Danae Blaze, 26, South Side, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Drunk PA woman tried to take down a bouncer and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, police officers with her best wrestling moves and football tackles. She also punched a cop in the face. This took place at Mario's on the South Side. A Washington County woman was arrested for allegedly assaulting a club bouncer and Pittsburgh Police officers. According to police, Danae Blaze, 26, initially tried to cut in line to get into Mario’s on the South Side late Saturday night. The bouncer saw her and told her to go to the back of the line. When she said no, the bouncer realized that she was too drunk to enter the establishment at all. At that time, Blaze said she was NOT going to leave. According to the criminal complaint, the woman got into a three-point stance like a football player and charged the bouncer with a shoulder block. When that didn’t work, she grabbed his legs and tried to execute a wrestling takedown. The bouncer blocked her, the two started to wrestle and he shoved her from the front door. Blaze reportedly fell at the feet of two Pittsburgh Police officers, who were on-duty outside of the East Carson Street bar. The officers asked her for her identification, which she refused. Police say when they tried to get her to stop, she punched one of them in the face. Police were able to arrest her, but she reportedly kicked, hit and screamed the whole way into the police vehicle. She was taken to the Allegheny County Jail, where she got numerous charges including five felony counts of assault. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harold K Re: Wipe CDs Dear Webby We have to keep the old CD's of some software to prove we didn't skip any upgrades or use pirated copies. Unfortunately it isn't very stable and needs to be re-installed now and then. The problem is that people rarely put them back right away and then the next person grabs the previous update and installs that. You can imagine the mess. Is there an absolutely 100% guaranteed way to wipe a CD so that the data on it can never be re-used, but that keeps the printed face reasonably intact ? Harold K Dear Harold 5-10 seconds in a Microwave will give you a cute miniature lightning show and an almost psychedelic finish on the data side of the CD. It OBVIOUSLY is fried, but usually the printed side is intact. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you said ...." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Two Ingredient Coconut Banana Cookies By attosa 180 435 Two Ingredient Coconut Banana Cookies By attosa 180 435 I love these little cookies! They only have two ingredients, shredded coconut and banana. They turn out like a cross between banana bread and coconut macaroons. You can use a super ripe banana and unsweetened coconut or a plain banana and sweetened coconut, however you decided to go by how sweet you like them. These are a great option for those who are vegan or gluten-free. Approximate Time: 25 minutes Yield: 9 cookies Ingredients: 1 banana 1 cup shredded coconut (I used sweetened) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a cookie sheet. Mash bananas and coconut very well with a fork. Drop little mounds onto your prepared cookie sheet. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until edges and tops are golden. Let cool completely then remove and serve. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ If your daughter wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. ___________________________________________________
Mini Maestro - so absolutely adorable!
____________________________________________________ Quote from a recent Government office meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done". ____________________________________________________ Chris: Why did you sell that brand new pressure cooker at your yard sale? Cindy: It may look like a pressure cooker to you, but in the hands of my husband, it's a secret weapon. Last Sunday, he shot a pot roast into outer space! ____________________________________________________
Top 10 Most amazing Churches, Shrines, Temples and Mosques

Today on February 20
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London. 
1809 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the power of the federal 
 government was greater than that of any individual state. 
1815 The USS Constitution, under Captain Charles Stewart 
 fought the British ships Cyane and Levant. The Constitution 
 captured both, but lost the Levant after encountering a 
 British squadron. The Constitution and the Cyane returned 
 to New York safely on May 15, 1815. The Cyane was purchased 
 and became the USS Cyane. 
1839 The U.S. Congress prohibited dueling in the District 
 of Columbia. 
1872 Luther Crowell received a patent for a machine that 
 manufactured paper bags. 
1872 Silas Noble and J.P. Cooley patented the toothpick 
 manufacturing machine. 
1901 The first territorial legislature of Hawaii convened. 
1921 The motion picture "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" 
 was released starring Rudolph Valentino. 
1931 The U.S. Congress allowed California to build the Oakland 
 Bay Bridge. 
1944 "Big Week" began as U.S. bombers began raiding German 
 aircraft manufacturing centers during World War II. 
1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world 
 three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American 
 to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury 
 capsule. Glenn witnessed the  while  in flight.
1965 Ranger 8 crashed on the moon after sending back thousands 
 of pictures of its surface. 
1987 A bomb exploded in a computer store in Salt Lake City, UT. 
 The blast was blamed on the Unabomber. 
1993 Two ten-year-old boys were charged by police in Liverpool, 
 England, in the abduction and death of a toddler. The two boys 
 were later convicted. 
1998 American Tara Lipinski, at age 15, became the youngest 
 gold medalist in winter Olympics history when she won the 
 ladies' figure skating title at Nagano, Japan. 
2001 FBI Agent Robert Phillip Hanssen was arrested and charged 
 with spying for the Russians for 15 years. 
2002 In Reqa Al-Gharbiya, Egypt, a fire raced through a train 
 killing at least 370 people and injuring at least 65. 
2003 In West Warwick, RI, 100 people were killed and more than 
 230 were injured when fire destroyed the nightclub The Station. 
 The fire started with sparks from a pyrotechnic display being 
 used by Jack Russel's Great White. Ty Longley, guitarist for 
 the band, was one of the victims in the fire. 
2008 The U.S. Navy destroyed an inoperable spy satellite with a 
 missile from the USS Lake Erie. 
2016  smiled.


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Inaccessible USB ports 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, February 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Walnut Creek High school coach, who had sex with students, exchanged lewd images
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 18, in 1685 Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the basis for France's claim to Texas. History ______________________________________________________ Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ According to statistics, last year over 47 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were students. ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A mother hopes that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Catherine Handlin, 24, Walnut Creek, California Walnut Creek High school coach had sex with students, exchanged lewd images A former girls basketball coach has been arrested and charged with two felonies after a police investigation determined she had two sexual encounters with a minor, authorities said. Catherine Handlin, 24, was a junior varsity girls basketball coach at Berean Christian High School -- a private school in Walnut Creek -- until these allegations surfaced. She faces charges of oral copulation with a minor -- which would require Handlin to register as a sex offender if she's convicted -- and sex with a minor, according to the Contra Costa County District Attorney's Office. She is also accused of exchanging sexual texts with students. The investigation started Jan. 8, after the school received an anonymous tip that Handlin had been engaging in inappropriate conduct with a student, and immediately called police. Detectives located two male students -- an 18-year-old and a 17-year-old -- who admitted to receiving nude pictures from Handlin, police said. Handlin never coached either of the students, according to authorities. Principal Nelson Noriega said he alerted parents at the beginning of the investigation and recently sent out a second mass email explaining to families what had happened. Authorities conducted interviews and determined that Handlin had engaged in two sexual encounters with the 17-year-old, and she was arrested on Jan. 10. She has been released after posting $70,000 bail but was fired from her coaching job the same day the allegations surfaced, police said. According to authorities, the sexual encounters happened Dec. 31 and Jan. 7 in cars parked in Clayton and Walnut Creek. Handlin's attorney, Dan O'Malley, called the incident "an unfortunate mistake in judgment." "She's taking responsibility for it," he said. Handlin's father, Mike, echoed that sentiment. "Catherine made a mistake," he told ABC7 News. "She's taking responsibility. She's a young adult. There's no reason to drag her over the coals for the rest of her life for this." The two charges are known to authorities as "wobblers" because they can be prosecuted as misdemeanors or felonies. After reviewing all the facts, authorities decided to prosecute the case as felonies, even though Handlin's alleged crimes weren't as egregious as many sex crimes that get prosecuted, such as child molestation or rape, Flynn said. "It's a position of trust issue, with a student and teacher or coach," he said. "That's the thing that's troubling about it." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vera P Re: USB sockets Dear Webby Why do they put the USB ports at the most awkward spots at the BACK of a computer? I curse those morons every time I have to crawl under my desk with a flashlight to plug something in. Could I drill a hole in the front and glue that silly plug in there? Vera P Dear Vera There is a much better solution. Get yourself a 4 or 6 port USB hub and a 10 foot high speed USB cable, and a little strip of double-sided tape. Plug the cable into one of the hard to get at USB ports at the back of the computer and snake it up to the monitor. With 10 feet of cable you should be able to route it in a way so that it doesn't look too messy or get in the way. Then plug the USB hub into it and glue the hub to the side of the monitor in a way so that the OUT ports of the hub are facing towards you. Now you can plug and unplug things without bashing your head against the underside of your desk. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Here is somethnig you can tell everybody in the elevator today: "Most people are really scared of werewolves but I bet if you saw one crying because the other wolves had made fun of him, you would probably feel sorry for him and try to pet him. That was my first mistake...." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easily Clean White Leather on Tennis Shoes By CatLynn 2 Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 Has the white leather on the edges of your tennis shoes turned dingy? I have found a simple way to successfully clean this. All you need is soap, water, and a battery powered toothbrush. Wet the toothbrush bristles, turn the brush on, and push the bristles against a wet bar of soap. Scrub along the nooks and crannies of the leather carefully, rinsing the brush and scrubbing once more. Then wipe clean. Very easy and cheap! Amazing difference! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two country doctors out in the hills of West Virginia were discussing the population explosion in the world. One physician says, "Why, Bubba, this crazy birth thang isa gettin' so bad that perty soon, they ain't gonna be room for ever'body! There'sa gonna be standin' room only on this here planet!" The other doctor replied, "Well, that sure oughta slow 'em down a bit!" ___________________________________________________
Good To Be Alive
____________________________________________________ My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum. "I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was working, I found the same darn book. I had bought it a couple of years ago." ____________________________________________________ They were having their first fight, and finally he said, "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." She said, "I just didn't want to embarrass you in front of all those people anf have them think you got stuck with an argumentative nag." ____________________________________________________
Amazing places on this old earth of ours.

Today on February 18
1564 The artist Michelanglelo died in Rome. 
1685 Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established 
 Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the 
 basis for France's claim to Texas. 
1841 The first continuous filibuster in the U.S. Senate 
 began. It lasted until March 11th. 
1885 Mark Twain's "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" was 
 published in the U.S. for the first time. 
1913 The famous French painting "Nude Descending a Staircase", 
 by the French artist, Marcel Duchamp, was displayed at 
 an "Armory Show" in New York City. 
1930 Elm Farm Ollie became the first cow to fly in an 
 airplane. 
1930 The planet Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh. The 
 discovery was made as a result of photographs taken in 
 January 1930. 
1952 Greece and Turkey became members of NATO. 
1970 The Chicago Seven defendants were found innocent of 
 conspiring to incite riots at the 1968 Democratic 
 national convention. 
1972 The California Supreme Court struck down the state's 
 death penalty. 
1977 The space shuttle Enterprise went on its maiden 
 "flight" sitting on top of a Boeing 747. 
1987 The executives of the Girl Scout movement decided to 
 change the color of the scout uniform from the traditional 
 Girl Scout green to the newer Girl Scout blue. 
1998 In Russia, money shortages resulted in the shutting 
 down of three plants that produced nuclear weapons. 
1998 In Nevada, two white separatists were arrested and 
 accused of plotting a bacterial attack on subways in 
 New York City. 
2000 The U.S. Commerce Department reported a deficit in 
 trade goods and services of $271.3 billion for 1999. 
2001 NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Sr., was killed in a 
 crash during the Daytona 500 race. 
2001 FBI agent Robert Philip Hanssen was arrested and 
 accused of spying for Russia for more than 15 years. He 
 later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to life in prison 
 without parole. 
2003 In South Korea, at least 120 people were killed when 
 a man lit a fire on a subway train. 
2015  smiled.


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What is the reason for Daylight Savings Time? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, February 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Twisted burglar who ransacked home caught by DNA on disgusting evidence he left behind
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 15, in 1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of Baltimore, MD. History ______________________________________________________ Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence. --- Henry Adams Do you realize that if Bernie Sanders wins, it will be the first time that a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family? --- Lillemor ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman had a faithful cat. And one day, a man ran over the cat. So, he went to the old woman and said: "I'm terribly sorry about your cat. I'd like to replace him." "That so nice of you!" said the old woman, deeply touched. "How good are you at catching mice?" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store... (please scroll down the page.) What were you thinking? -- her husband speaks English! ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jack Rutley, 20, Teeside, England Twisted burglar who ransacked home caught by DNA on disgusting evidence he left behind A twisted burglar who soiled his victim’s bed, ransacked his home and stole his car was jailed for three years. Teesside’s most senior judge told Jack Rutley, 20, that he might have thought it was funny when he smeared his excrement on the man’s bedsheets. But the disgusting mess rebounded on him because Scenes of Crime officers were able to use it to identify him from his DNA on their records. The Recorder of Middlesbrough, Judge Simon Bourne-Arton QC, sent him to prison saying: “You may have thought it entirely amusing at the time, of course, but it was your undoing, and in my view that was a very serious aspect of the case.” Prosecuter David Crook told Teesside Crown Court that the bedding had to be destroyed after the discovery at the house in Middlesbrough on September 19 last year. He read out a Victim Impact Statement from the man, who lived there alone: “I am upset and disgusted that the defendant had defecated in my home.” Graham Brown, defending, said Rutley and his family were disgusted by his actions. Mr Brown added: “We accept that the sentence likely to be passed is one only of custody. “He has no previous convictions for burglary recorded against him. (Just some other ones, that got his DNA recorded) “He has a supportive family who are ashamed of what he has done. He pleaded guilty and I accept that the evidence was such that there was no alternative to admitting it.” Mr Crook said the man had packed his VW Passat car with stock to take to a car boot sale before he went out, returning in the early hours to find the vehicle had gone and his house had been ransacked. A neighbour’s CCTV showed two men driving off in it and returning later. The car was also filmed at a filling station where the driver, Rutley, drove off without paying for petrol and diesel. Police also arrested a second man whose fingerprint was found on some of the stolen property. Tyrone Ackerman, 29, denied he was involved in the burglary but admitted being driven by Rutley in the Passat. Rachel Dyson, defending him, said that he was aware at the time that the goods were stolen but he did not know they came from a domestic burglary. Rutley, of Wand Hill Gardens, Saltburn, was jailed for 36 months, including 32 months for the burglary, after he pleaded guilty to burglary, taking without consent and making off without payment. Ackerman, of Cedarmoor Gardens, Stainton, was jailed for 37 weeks after he pleaded guilty to handling stolen goods and being carried in a car taken without consent. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Robbie Re: Daylight Savings Time Dear Webby What is the reason for daylight savings time ? Robbie Dear Robbie There is no valid reason. It's just government policy. The farmers in Saskatchewan voted against it, because the wives and the cattle don't like it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. "Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 The marks that need to line up on the toaster dial were hard to see on my parents' toaster. So they marked theirs with a little bit of red nail polish. Now it is easy to see what setting the dial is on and you will be less likely to burn your toast. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forgot the other two. ___________________________________________________
Unchained Melody - indian flutes
____________________________________________________ Shortly after arriving at the University of Washington, Babs joined some new friends on a trip to nearby Vancouver, British Columbia. It was her first trip outside the United States. At the border, a guard asked how long they would stay in Canada. Knowing it would be after midnight when they returned, she asked, "How late will we be able to get back across the border?" "Any time, Ma'am," the guard said. "We never close Canada." ____________________________________________________ Angus McIveer needed the aid of a specialist, but the fees appalled him. It was $250 for the first visit, and $100 for subsequent visits. Still, it was a matter of life and death, and besides, he had an idea. As he entered the doctor's office, the miser said cordially, "Well, Doctor, here I am -- again!" But the doctor had met this type before. He made a great show of examining the patient with minute thoroughness, and then said "Just continue with the same treatment as before!" ____________________________________________________
Cirque du Soleil, 'nuff said.

Today on February 17
1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of 
 Baltimore, MD. 
1865 Columbia, SC, burned. The Confederates were evacuating and 
 the Union Forces were moving in. 
1876 Julius Wolff was credited with being the first to can 
 sardines. 
1878 In San Francisco, CA, the first large city telephone 
 exchange opened. It had only 18 phones. 
1933 Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years 
 after Chic Young’s popular strip first debuted. 
1934 The first high school automobile driver’s education course 
 was introduced in State College, PA. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Eniwetok Atoll began. 
 U.S. forces won the battle on February 22, 1944. 
1947 The Voice of America began broadcasting to the Soviet Union. 
1964 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that congressional districts 
 within each state had to be approximately equal in population.
1992 In Milwaukee, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was sentenced to 
 life in prison. In November of 1994, he was beaten to death 
 in prison. 
1995 Colin Ferguson was convicted of six counts of murder in the 
 December 1993 Long Island Rail Road shootings. He was later 
 sentenced to a minimum of 200 years in prison. 
1996 World chess champion Garry Kasparov beat the IBM supercomputer 
 "Deep Blue" in Philadelphia, PA. 
2005 U.S. President George W. Bush named John Negroponte as the 
 first national intelligence director.
2015  smiled.


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Why alternate desktops? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, February 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Jovaughn Walker of Deerfield Beach, Florida attacks clerk at flea market with a samurai sword, beats an 81 year old man at a gas station and carjacks a car in the middle of an intersection. All before noon on Sunday.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 15, in 1959 Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow of President Fulgencio Batista. History ______________________________________________________ Some people will never learn anything because they understand everything too soon. --- Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday. ( One way to get new members! ) Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands. ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding to 18 holes. Using a machete to clear thick brush in an area I was mapping, I came upon a golf club that an irate player must have tossed away. It was in good condition, so I picked it up and continued on. When I broke out of the brush onto a putting green, two golfers stared at me in awe. I had a machete in one hand, a golf club in the other, and behind me was a clear-cut swath over 100 yards long. "There," said one of the golfers, "is a guy who hates to lose his ball!" ______________________________________________________ Greenland ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jovaughn Walker, 21, Deerfield Beach, Floriduh Jovaughn Walker of Deerfield Beach, Florida attacks clerk at flea market with a samurai sword, beats an 81 year old man at a gas station and carjacks a car in the middle of an intersection. All before noon on Sunday. The man taken into custody in connection with an attack on a Swap Shop clerk with a 3-foot samurai sword and the assault of an 81-year-old customer in a gas station has been identified as Jovaughn Walker. The 21-year-old Deerfield Beach resident faces charges of attempted murder, aggravated battery, carjacking and possession of cannabis after a Sunday morning of mayhem that sent two people to the hospital for treatment of cuts and lacerations, according to Lauderhill police. "I have seen the [surveillance] video tapes, and these attacks seem to have come out of the blue," said Maj. Rick Rocco. "It doesn't look like he had any argument or confrontation. All of a sudden, he just snapped." Questioning by detectives after he was chased around the Swap Shop flea market and detained by several witnesses to the attack, Walker "began making statements about seeing poltergeist and wanting to kill all that was evil," police said in an affidavit. The interview was suspended "due to the defendant possibly being under the influence of narcotics," police said. In Walker's pocket were two grams of suspected cannabis, police said. According to Lauderhill police and Broward Sheriff's deputies, Walker began his crime spree early Sunday in Deerfield Beach when he carjacked a 2001 Ford Ranger from a man stopped at the intersection of Southwest Natura Boulevard and 10th Street. William Lauderback, 55, told deputies a man he later identified as Walker crawled into the vehicle through a open passenger side window, put him in a headlock and pushed him out the driver's side door. Walker then drove off in the truck, Lauderback told deputies, but not before twice driving back on the wrong side of Southwest Natura Boulevard in what he thought was an attempt to run him down. At 10:05 a.m., Lauderhill police said, Walker showed up at the Shell station at 1901 N. State Road 7 in the stolen Ford Ranger. There a customer identified as Douglas Brochet told investigators he was pumping gas into his car when he noticed Walker, wearing a red hat, staring at him. When Brochet went inside the station, Walker followed and began striking him in the head with a metal rod, part of a shelf support, he found inside, police said. On the surveillance video a woman identified by police as Brochet's wife can be seen trying to push Walker away from her husband. Walker fled in the truck, only to appear about an hour later at the Swap Shop, 3291 W. Sunrise Blvd. He entered a store selling knives, swords and scissors and pulled the sword from a display, police said. The clerk, identified as Parmjit Singh, 49, an employee of a nearby shop filling in temporarily for the owner, told police that Walker "unsheathed the sword and began looking at [the clerk] strangely" before suddenly chasing him around the shop. "[The clerk] tried to take refuge in a neighboring business, but the defendant caught up" to him and "began swinging the sword profusely, striking [the clerk] at least eight times all over [his] body." Singh fell to the ground, police said, and sustained a laceration to his left hand when he tried to protect himself from the blows. Singh told police he thought Walker was "trying to kill, due to the fact that [he] was being struck with such force numerous times with the sword." Rocco praised bystanders who chased after Walker and held him in the Swap Shop until police arrived. "They were a big help" said Rocco. "They all came together to detain him. Who knows what might have happened if they hadn't." Both men injured in the assaults were treated at local hospitals and released. Brochet had several lacerations to his forehead and ear that took 18 stitches to close, police said. Walker was to appear in court Monday, but his first appearance was rescheduled because of medical issues, court officials said. He is being held without bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Edith Re: Why alternate desktops? Dear Webby What is the reason for alternate desktops? Is that for different moods or what? Edith Dear Edith That is for households with different members. For example, YOUR desktop might have a picture of a cathedral as the background, and all the icons looking like color coded angels. Perfectly safe if a member of your bible study group walks in. Your hubby might have a Major Hooters calendar picture as the background, and his icons could be various hooters, ahem owls. Your son's theme could be hot cars, and your daughter's theme could be fashion. Then depending on who walks up the driveway, you hit CTRL SHIFT 1 (for your saintly theme) CTRL SHIFT 3 (for your son's them. And so on. If you are the only one using that computer, you could still use that concept, if you are overloaded with icons. You can have one desktop with all your recipe shortcuts, another one with the churchly stuff, another one with fashion links, and one with diet links. That concept cleans up the desktop because you have only the icons from one theme showing. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ In the midst of a quarrel, the wife bitterly yells at her husband, "I was such a fool when I married you." Retorts her husband:” Yes, I know. But I was in love and didn"t notice until after the wedding." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Yeast Free Pita Bread By attosa 176 430 I love pita bread not only because it tastes great, but because you can slice it in half, stuff it, and chow down. Here's how to easily make your own at home without having to deal with yeast. Approximate Time: 10 minutes + 30 minutes dough rest time Yield: 6 pita pocketsYeast Free Pita Bread Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup flour (I used all purpose, but you can mix it up.) 1/2 tsp salt 2 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp baking soda 2 Tbsp yogurt 1 Tbsp oil 1/4 cup warm water extra flour for rolling Steps: In large bowl, whisk the flour, salt, baking powder and soda. Mix in yogurt and oil. Add warm water and mix for a couple minutes until a sticky dough forms. Cover and let sit for 30 minutes. Uncover and touch. If it sticks to your finger like this, add some flour and knead thoroughly until it no longer sticks. I had to add two tablespoons here. Place on a surface where you can roll it out on a lightly floured surface. Roll dough into a log shape. Slice into six equal sections. Roll each into a ball then flatten into about a 6 to 7 inch round. Heat a skillet over high heat (no oil necessary). Once hot, place a rolled piece of on the skillet. Immediately over with a lid and cook for 1 to 2 minutes and nicely browned. Flip over and cook the other side for 1 to 2 minutes. Repeat with rest of dough. The trick to getting a good pocket inside is using high heat and making sure you cover them while cooking. Slice the pita bread in half, open the pocket, and fill with meats, veggies, or both. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________
senior synchronized swimming
____________________________________________________ We were all celebrating our friend's 80th birthday when the mail arrived. In the mail was a summons for her to appear for jury duty. She called the court clerk. "I received a jury duty summons, but I have an age exemption." The clerk said, "Ma'am, you need to fill out an exemption form to be granted the exemption." "I did that last year." "Ma'am, you have to do it every year." "Why? I know I am getting better every year, but I am not getting younger just yet." ____________________________________________________ A student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf. "What are all these books?" he asked. Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. "Really?" he said. "You mean somebody printed out the whole CD?" ____________________________________________________
12 of the Best of 2015 photos from National Geographic's Daily Travel.

Today on February 16
1741 Benjamin Franklin published America’s second magazine, 
 "The General Magazine and Historical Chronicle". 
1804 A raid was led by Lt. Stephen Decatur to burn the U.S. 
 Navy frigate Philadelphia. The ship had been taken by pirates. 
1857 The National Deaf Mute College was incorporated in Washington, 
 DC. It was the first school in the world for advanced education 
 of the deaf. The school was later renamed Gallaudet College. 
1862 During the U.S. Civil War, about 14,000 Confederate soldiers 
 surrendered to Gen. Ulysses S. Grant at Fort Donelson, TN. 
1868 The Jolly Corks organization, in New York City, changed 
 its name to the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks (BPOE). 
1914 The first airplane flight between Los Angeles and 
 San Francisco took place. 
1918 Lithuania proclaimed its independence. 
1923 Howard Carter unsealed the burial chamber of Egyptian 
 Pharaoh Tutankhamen. The next day he entered the chamber with 
 several invited guests. He had originally found the tomb on 
 November 4, 1922. 
1932 The first fruit tree patent was issued to James E. Markham 
 for a peach tree which ripens later than other varieties. 
1937 Wallace H. Carothers received a patent for nylon. Carothers 
 was a research chemist for Du Pont. 
1938 The U.S. Federal Crop Insurance program was authorized. 
1945 During World War II, U.S. troops landed on the island of 
 Corregidor in the Philippines. 
1946 The first US designed helicopter was tested in Connecticut. 
1858 The first ironing board was patented by William Vandenburg 
 and James Harvey. 
1959 Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba after the overthrow of 
 President Fulgencio Batista. 
1960 The U.S.S. Triton began the first circumnavigation of the 
 globe under water. The trip ended on May 10. 
1968 In the U.S., the first 911 emergency telephone system was 
 inaugurated in Haleyville, AL. 
1970 Joe Frazier began his reign as the undefeated heavyweight 
 world champion when he knocked out Jimmy Ellis in five rounds. 
 He lost the title on January 22, 1973, when he lost for the 
 first time in his professional career to George Foreman. 
1977 The Anglican archbishop of Uganda, Janani Luwum, was killed 
 in automobile accident. Two other men were also killed. 
1985 "Kojak" returned to network television after an absence of 
 seven years with the CBS-TV special, "Kojak: The Belarus File." 
1987 John Demjanjuk went on trial in Jerusalem. He was accused 
 of being "Ivan the Terrible", a guard at the Treblinka 
 concentration camp. He was convicted, but the Israeli Supreme 
 Court overturned the ruling. 
1989 Investigators in Lockerbie, Scotland, announced that a bomb 
 hidden inside a radio-cassette player was the reason that Pan Am 
 Flight 103 was brought down the previous December. All 259 people 
 aboard and 11 on the ground were killed. 
1999 A bomb exploded at the government headquarters in Uzbekistan. 
 Gunfire followed the incident. The event apparently was an attempt 
 on the life of President Islam Karimov. 
1999 Kurds seized embassies and held hostages across Europe following 
 Turkey's arrest of Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan. 
1999 Testimony began in the Jasper, TX, trial of John William King. 
 He was charged with murder in the gruesome dragging death of 
 James Byrd Jr. King was later convicted and sentenced to death. 
2002 The operator of a crematory in Noble, GA, was arrested after 
 dozens of corpses were found stacked in storage sheds and 
 scattered around in the surrounding woods. 
2005 The Kyoto global warming pact went into effect in 140 nations. 
2005 The NHL announced the cancellation of the 2004-2005 season due 
 to a labor dispute. It was the first time a major sports league in 
 North America lost an entire season to a labor dispute.
2015  smiled.


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Alternate Desktops 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, February 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a married NC teacher with 3 kids, who got caught messing with a female student. Judge forbid her to contact her own kids.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 15, in 1903 Morris and Rose Michtom, Russian immigrants, introduced the first teddy bear in America. History ______________________________________________________ "The only limits are, as always, those of vision." --- James Broughton ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. "Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said. "It's okay, Dad" the boy said. "The police car right behind us did the same thing." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Laura Garrigus 30, Fayetville, North Carolina Laura Garrigus of Fayetville, North Carolina, a teacher at Cumberland International Early College. She is now banned from seeing her own kids by judge after alleged sex with 17 year old female student. She is married to a cop and has 3 kids. A North Carolina teacher who resigned after allegedly having a sexual relationship with a student was arrested on Monday. WRAL reported that Laura Garrigus, 30, of Fayetteville, faces four counts of taking indecent liberties with a student and two counts of sexual offense with a student. The suspect worked as a teacher for the Cumberland International Early College in Fayetteville, but resigned in December, the same month the alleged victim told authorities about the allegations. The allegations involved a 17-year-old female student and allegedly took place off-campus from October to December. No other students are believed to have been involved. The suspect was placed in the Cumberland County jail under a $16,000 secured bond and has court planned for Tuesday. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Icon Chaos Dear Webby If Mab is a little bit more tech savvy, point her to this sysinternals (owned by Microsoft) page Desktops This app is dead simple to operate If she has windows 10, http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/wind ... windows-10 Neil Dear Neil Switching desktops could indeed be a solution for some people. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A new baby, when he was still in hospital, said to the little babe lying next to him, 'I know I am a boy!' The other baby said, 'What! How DO you know that??' 'Well, it's under the blanket; I can show you...' 'Show me! Show me!' 'SSST! Wait till the nurses are gone...' A few minutes later: 'I can show you now. Watch!' Slowly the baby lifted up his blanket, the other baby peeking under it. 'Can you see it?' The first one said, 'You see it, down there?' 'But WHAT should I see?' 'I'm wearing blue socks!!' ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Boogie Wipes By lalala... 732 97 The little packages of boogie wipes are nice, but expensive for what you get, they are also too large in my opinion. I decided to make my own out of diaper wipes. Supplies: diaper wipes scissors zip lock baggie Steps: Cut the diaper wipes into quarters. Store them in a baggie to keep them moist. If they start to dry out you can add a tiny amount of water to rehydrate them. They are great for cleaning up little noses and this way you don't waste a whole wipe on a small job. :) ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sarah sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Sarah, "I have been having a funny pain right here near the heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Sarah, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said the Sarah, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?" ___________________________________________________
senior synchronized swimming
____________________________________________________ Pete from New York arrived in Los Angeles. In an airport taxi cab, Pete asked the driver... "Say, is this really a healthful place?" "It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said the tourist , "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." ____________________________________________________ A lawyer awakened after a serious operation only to find himself in a room with all the blinds drawn. "Why are all the blinds closed?" he asked the doctor. "Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure." ____________________________________________________
10 Amazing Staircases and ladders from around the globe

Today on February 15
1758 Mustard was advertised for the first time in America. 
1764 The city of St. Louis was established. 
1799 Printed ballots were authorized for use in elections 
 in the state of Pennsylvania. 
1842 Adhesive postage stamps were used for the first time 
 by the City Dispatch Post (Office) in New York City. 
1898 The USS Maine sank when it exploded in Havana Harbor 
 for unknown reasons. More than 260 crew members were killed. 
1900 The British threaten to use natives in their war with 
 the Boers. 
1903 Morris and Rose Michtom, Russian immigrants, introduced 
 the first teddy bear in America. 
1932 George Burns and Gracie Allen debuted as regulars on 
 "The Guy Lombardo Show" on CBS radio. 
1933 U.S. President-elect Franklin Roosevelt escaped an 
 assination attempt in Miami. Chicago Mayor Anton J. Cermak 
 was killed in the attack. 
1942 During World War II, Singapore surrendered to the Japanese. 
1961 A Boeing 707 crashed in Belgium killing 73 people. 
1962 CBS-TV bought the exclusive rights to college football 
 games from the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) 
 for a figure of $10,200,000. 
1965 Canada displayed its new red and white maple leaf flag. 
The flag replaced the old Red Ensign standard. 
1982 During a storm, the Ocean Ranger, a drilling rig, sank 
 off the coast of Newfoundland. 84 men were killed. 
1985 The Center for Disease Control reported that more than 
 half of all nine-year-olds in the U.S. showed no sign of 
 tooth decay. 
1989 After nine years of intervention, the Soviet Union 
 announced that the remainder of its troops had left 
 Afghanistan. 
1991 The leaders of Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Poland 
 signed the Visegard agreement, in which they pledged to 
 cooperate in transforming thier countties to free-market 
 economies. 
1995 The FBI arrested Kevin Mitnick and charged him with 
 cracking security in some of the nation's most protected 
 computers. He served five years in jail. 
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush approved Nevada's Yucca 
 Mountain as a site for long-term disposal of radioactive 
 nuclear waste. After a Billion $ had been spent on it,
 the Democrats vetoed it and stopped the project. It didn't
 have their name on it.
2015  smiled.


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Taming the icon chaos 



Good Morning, ,

Thank you Mildred!

Today is Sunday, February 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a two Georgia Meth producers who fell asleep in their mobile meth lab
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 14, in 1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the Inquisition. History ______________________________________________________ "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." --- Dolly Parton ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During a weekly weight-loss class, the group leader was extolling the merits of the program's prepared-food products. She raved about the rich, delicious flavor of the imitation chocolate fudge and the nondairy pop tarts, assuring us that we could eat them without the least fear of ruining our diets. The woman next to me nodded her head emphatically and then whispered, "They're even better when you spread peanut butter and jam on them!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ According to women... "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." According to men.... "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a head- ache." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for the Pizza Mutt ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin McMillan and Jeremy Fulghum Lamar County, Georgia Dustin McMillan and Jeremy Fulghum arrested after McMillan falls asleep and crashes their mobile crystal meth lab on I-75 at State Route 36 in Lamar County, Georgia. The Lamar County Sheriff’s Department said two men driving a mobile meth lab crashed into the median of I-75 near Barnesville. It happened just after 9 a.m. in the northbound lanes of I-75 close to where it crosses State Route 36.9805062_G When officers arrived on scene, they found what appeared to be chemicals used for making methamphetamine inside the car. Investigators said 35-year-old Dustin McMillan fell asleep at the wheel. McMillan and his passenger, 31-year-old Jeremy Fulghum, are both from Georgia, but by Thursday afternoon, investigators had not determined what town they are from or where they were headed. The discovery of the chemicals forced deputies to close the interstate until they were sure the substances were contained safely. Among other things, the ingredients for making methamphetamine are flammable. Lamar County Sheriff’s Captain Todd Pippin described one of the chemicals as being extremely harmful, adding, “It will burn and scortch your lungs. A single breath could actually kill you.” At one point, traffic was stopped for 10 miles in both directions. No other cars were involved in the accident. Both men survived the crash and are in jail, awaiting a first appearance before a judge. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mab Re: Icon Chaos Dear Webby We use our computer mostly for our business, but the kids also use it for homework, and later in the evening my husband and I again use it for more or less business related browsing and research. As you can imagine, the whole background is cluttered with icons and I can never find the ones I need. Wht's the solution? Mab Dear Mab find a clear spot on the background, right-click, New, Folder. Name that one Mab. Then make a folder for each family member and drag their icons into their folders. That will give you lots of room. Now make a folder and call it Business. Drag business related icons that both you and your husband use into that. You might want to make a few more thematic folders like that to hold icons that are used by more than just one person. If each icon is a proper shortcut, and not from somebody slopping a program onto the desktop, then the location of things on your hard drive won't change. When you go onto the machine, you open YOUR folder. Make sure the VIEW is set for LIST. You will still have tiny icons, but the folder takes less space. Squish it so that it is like the gray task bar at the bottom. When you log off, you close your folder and the next person opens theirs. You COULD do the same with the built in tool bars, but those are a lot less versatile and not as adaptable as folders. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ An effusive client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. She loved them so much, she couldn't keep from remarking about their cute habits. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I never realized they had to be baptized." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Split Pea Soup for Busy Mothers By Judy Pariser S. 85 70 I have been making this recipe for years, and it is always good. It will thicken the next day, so you can thin it out with a little water or broth if you choose to. Approximate Time: 3-4 hours conventionally, 8-10 hours slow-cooked. Yield: 10 to 12 cups Ingredients: 1 lb split peas 1 onion, chopped or sliced 3-6 carrots, depending on how much carrot taste you want (I used 3) 2-3 stalks celery 1 bay leaf 1-2 clove garlic, minced (I use two), or equivalent of garlic powder 1/4 tsp thyme 8-10 cups water (I use 9) 1/2 tsp salt (optional) dash cayenne pepper, optional (I use red pepper flakes) Variations 2 cups chicken stock 1 ham bone 1/4 lb salt pork or bacon leftover ham leftover turkey Steps: Rinse over the split peas. Put ingredients into a large kettle or 5 quart or larger slow cooker. Simmer, covered in the pot 3-4 hours. If you are using the slow cooker, cook 8-10 hours on low (I do this), or 3-4 hours on high. Remove the bay leaf. If you are using meat, remove from pot and separate any meat from the bones. Set aside. Blend the soup (I use an immersion blender). Return the meat bits into the soup. You may add milk to this soup if desired, to cool it off. Source: Whole Foods for the Whole Family, this cookbook is still available from La Leche League. It has excellent recipes that are high in nutritional value, and most of them are economical as well. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancee called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told him, "I'll wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!" ___________________________________________________
Baxter Black at the car wash
____________________________________________________ Five-year-old Bobbie was alarmed when he heard a lot of car horns honking enthusiastically. "People beep their horns when a couple is getting married," his mother explained. "Why?" he asked. "As a warning?" ____________________________________________________ A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft crash lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a hospital. He sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot. "Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear. "No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yister-die. ____________________________________________________
Since some of my ancestors are from Scotland I have a soft spot for anything Scottish and the scenery is breathtaking.

Today on February 14
1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the 
 fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII. 
1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the 
 Inquisition. 
1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison 
 Effect for the first time. 
1900 The Anglo-German accord of 1899 was ratified by Reichstag, 
 in which Britain renounced rights in Samoa in favor of 
 Germany and the U.S. 
1914 The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers 
 (known as ASCAP) was formed in New York City. The society was 
 founded to protect the copyrighted musical compositions of 
 its members. 
1920 The League of Nations recognized the continued neutrality 
 of Switzerland. 
1935 In Flemington, New Jersey, a jury found Bruno Richard 
 Hauptmann guilty of the kidnapping and death of the infant son 
 of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. Hauptmann was later executed for 
 the crimes. 
1937 The comic strip "Prince Valiant" appeared for the first time. 
1945 During World War II, the Soviets captured Budapest, Hungary, 
 from the remains of the retreating German army. 
1945 During World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the 
 German city of Dresden. Ten times more civilians died in that
 thre day bombing than in the Hiroshima atomic bombing.
1955 Israel acquired 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls. 
1960 France detonated its first atomic bomb. 
1971 South Vietnamese troops invaded Laos. They were backed 
 by U.S. air and artillery support. 
1990 In Ottawa, the United States and its European allies 
 forged an agreement with the Soviet Union and East Germany 
 on a two-stage formula to reunite Germany. 
1991 Hundreds of Iraqis were killed by two laser-guided 
 bombs that destroyed an underground facility in Baghdad. 
 U.S. officials identified the facility as a military 
 installation, but Iraqi officials said it was a bomb shelter. 
1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery brought the Hubble 
 Space Telescope aboard for a tune up. The tune up allowed the 
 telescope to see further into the universe. 
1999 A bomb exploded just outside a government-owned bank in 
 southern Kosovo. Nine people were killed. 
2000 Charles M. Schulz's last original Sunday "Peanuts" comic 
 strip appeared in newspapers. Schulz had died the day before. 
2001 El Savador was hit with an earthquake that measured 6.6 on 
 the Richter Scale. At least 400 people were killed. 
2002 In Alexandria, VA, John Walker Lindh pled innocent to a 
 10-count federal indictment. He was charged with conspiring 
 to kill Americans and aiding Osama bin Laden's terrorist 
 network. 
2002 Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani received an honorary 
 knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. 
2008 Roger Clemens denied having taken performance-enhancing 
 drugs in testimony before Congress. 
2008 Hollywood writers ended a 100-day strike.
2015  smiled.


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Firefox update problem 



Good Morning, ,

Thank you Mildred!

Today is Saturday, February 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia Mayor Arrested in Cop Car, Charged With Impersonating Officer and DUI
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 13, in 1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII. History ______________________________________________________ The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher. The note read: "Bill Jones having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing: "Bill Jones having gone to see his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
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with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Once when I was a teenager and I had to have an emergency operation, Pop was there and was watching every move the doctor made. At one point he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anaesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," Pop explained, "He don't know nothing now." ______________________________________________________ Gyrfalkon on top of Churchill, Manitoba, transmitter tower. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Dopson, , Jacksonville, Georgia Georgia Mayor Arrested in Cop Car, Charged With Impersonating Officer and DUI The mayor of a tiny Georgia town was charged with impersonating an officer after he was stopped by sheriff's deputies while driving a marked police car — something he does routinely — the sheriff said Tuesday. John Dopson, mayor of Jacksonville, population 140, was driving a Jacksonville police cruiser when he was pulled over Monday by Telfair County deputies, the sheriff's office said in a statement. Dopson refused to take blood and urine tests, "indicating the reason for his refusal was because he knew it would show positive for 'weed,'" according to the statement. In addition to the impersonation charge, he was charged with driving under the influence of drugs. The sheriff's office said it had been investigating the mayor for some time "in response to numerous complaints related to the daily personal use of a marked and equipped City of Jacksonville patrol car by an individual who possesses no law enforcement authority." Dopson "can be observed daily operating a marked and equipped Jacksonville GA patrol car," the sheriff's office said, often "with its blue lights activated." Dopson was appointed mayor late last year even though he has been awaiting trial since last March on a felony aggravated assault charge, according to state court records. The Associated Press reported that Dopson was accused of pointing a gun at another man in an incident that was recorded on video. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Firefox update problem Dear Webby I need your help once again. I ad Mozilla Firefox as my browser and it wasn't working properly, so I removed it and tried re-installing it. Now my virus protection tells me that Mozilla Firefox is Unsafe. I was trying to download from Mozilla's webpage. If it was safe before why would it be unsafe now. Any help you can give me will be appreciated as always. Dani Dear Dani What do you use for virus protection? I just did a big update on 30 odd things, including FF. McAfee did not protest at all. Actually, it was McAfee, that reminded me to do all those updates. A quick check just now shows that my FF is up to date. 44.0.2 So the download did work OK. Either you were trying to get FF from an illegitimate source, or your anti-virus is not working right. Or both. The legitimate download site for Firefox is: https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/ If you have country flags turned on, you should see a US flag in the address bar. If you see an Arab or Turkmenistan or Nigerian flag, get outa there in a hurry! Use the link I gave you, and NONE other! Don't use links provided by your already compromised browser. I would suggest that you download and install Chrome or Opera or Safari, and use those to download the legitimate FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed a Million years ago when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the freeway!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Split Pea Soup for Busy Mothers By Judy Pariser S. 85 70 I have been making this recipe for years, and it is always good. It will thicken the next day, so you can thin it out with a little water or broth if you choose to. Approximate Time: 3-4 hours conventionally, 8-10 hours slow-cooked. Yield: 10 to 12 cups Ingredients: 1 lb split peas 1 onion, chopped or sliced 3-6 carrots, depending on how much carrot taste you want (I used 3) 2-3 stalks celery 1 bay leaf 1-2 clove garlic, minced (I use two), or equivalent of garlic powder 1/4 tsp thyme 8-10 cups water (I use 9) 1/2 tsp salt (optional) dash cayenne pepper, optional (I use red pepper flakes) Variations 2 cups chicken stock 1 ham bone 1/4 lb salt pork or bacon leftover ham leftover turkey Steps: Rinse over the split peas. Put ingredients into a large kettle or 5 quart or larger slow cooker. Simmer, covered in the pot 3-4 hours. If you are using the slow cooker, cook 8-10 hours on low (I do this), or 3-4 hours on high. Remove the bay leaf. If you are using meat, remove from pot and separate any meat from the bones. Set aside. Blend the soup (I use an immersion blender). Return the meat bits into the soup. You may add milk to this soup if desired, to cool it off. Source: Whole Foods for the Whole Family, this cookbook is still available from La Leche League. It has excellent recipes that are high in nutritional value, and most of them are economical as well. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A City Policeman went up to a vendor selling toys and said, "I'm sorry, you can't sell that stuff without a license." The peddler replied, "I knew I wasn't selling any, but I didn't know the reason." ___________________________________________________
1994 - WHAT is the internet?
____________________________________________________ Just before a soldier made his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, "Count to ten and pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for the auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up." The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten, and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened. He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened. As he careened crazily earthward, he said to himself: "Man. Nothing goes right. I'll bet that truck won't be there either!" TWACK he bombed into a huge manure pile. Just as he burrowed his way out and saw daylight again, the head of his buddy popped out of the manure a few feet away and in his slow Texan drawl sang out: "...an one ahs TAN!" ____________________________________________________ Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual friend Mike. She figured that Sandy, another friend who seemed to have much in common with Mike, would be an ideal date. One day Mike came into the restaurant when Sandy was also there. Barbie dragged Mike over to Sandy's table and introduced the two. Then she watched as Mike put his arm around the young woman and said in his best mock-seductive voice, "Helloooo, Sandy. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" "You guys know each other?" Barbie asked. "We sure do," said Mike. "She's my sister." ____________________________________________________
These 3D drawings are so realistic.

Today on February 13
1542 Catherine Howard was executed for adultery. She was the 
 fifth wife of England's King Henry VIII. 
1633 Galileo Galilei arrived in Rome for trial before the 
 Inquisition. 
1880 Thomas Edison observed what became known as the Edison 
 Effect for the first time. 
1900 The Anglo-German accord of 1899 was ratified by Reichstag, 
 in which Britain renounced rights in Samoa in favor of 
 Germany and the U.S. 
1914 The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers 
 (known as ASCAP) was formed in New York City. The society was 
 founded to protect the copyrighted musical compositions of 
 its members. 
1920 The League of Nations recognized the continued neutrality 
 of Switzerland. 
1935 In Flemington, New Jersey, a jury found Bruno Richard 
 Hauptmann guilty of the kidnapping and death of the infant son 
 of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. Hauptmann was later executed for 
 the crimes. 
1937 The comic strip "Prince Valiant" appeared for the first time. 
1945 During World War II, the Soviets captured Budapest, Hungary, 
 from the remains of the retreating German army. 
1945 During World War II, Allied aircraft began bombing the 
 German city of Dresden. Ten times more civilians died in that
 thre day bombing than in the Hiroshima atomic bombing.
1955 Israel acquired 4 of the 7 Dead Sea scrolls. 
1960 France detonated its first atomic bomb. 
1971 South Vietnamese troops invaded Laos. They were backed 
 by U.S. air and artillery support. 
1990 In Ottawa, the United States and its European allies 
 forged an agreement with the Soviet Union and East Germany 
 on a two-stage formula to reunite Germany. 
1991 Hundreds of Iraqis were killed by two laser-guided 
 bombs that destroyed an underground facility in Baghdad. 
 U.S. officials identified the facility as a military 
 installation, but Iraqi officials said it was a bomb shelter. 
1997 Astronauts on the space shuttle Discovery brought the Hubble 
 Space Telescope aboard for a tune up. The tune up allowed the 
 telescope to see further into the universe. 
1999 A bomb exploded just outside a government-owned bank in 
 southern Kosovo. Nine people were killed. 
2000 Charles M. Schulz's last original Sunday "Peanuts" comic 
 strip appeared in newspapers. Schulz had died the day before. 
2001 El Savador was hit with an earthquake that measured 6.6 on 
 the Richter Scale. At least 400 people were killed. 
2002 In Alexandria, VA, John Walker Lindh pled innocent to a 
 10-count federal indictment. He was charged with conspiring 
 to kill Americans and aiding Osama bin Laden's terrorist 
 network. 
2002 Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani received an honorary 
 knighthood from Queen Elizabeth II. 
2008 Roger Clemens denied having taken performance-enhancing 
 drugs in testimony before Congress. 
2008 Hollywood writers ended a 100-day strike.
2015  smiled.


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Converting the TIF produced by scanner 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, February 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman arrested for attacking boyfriend after he refused to give her money for crack
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 12, in 1907 A collision of the steamer Larchmont and a schooner resulted in the death of more than 300 people. The incident occurred off New England's Block Island. History ______________________________________________________ Too much of a good thing is wonderful. --- Mae West (1892 - 1980) Humor is just another defense against the universe. --- Mel Brooks (1926 - ) "The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit." --- Eric Porterfield ( The technical term for that is: "Percussive maintenance" ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Things were rather slow so Bobbie, the reporter for the local newspaper, went to the vocational school and visited each classroom. But things were rather slow there too. In Tailoring nobody had sown through any interesting body parts, just the instructor had sown her sleve to a student's workpiece again, but she already had published a similar picture. No blood in carpentry. Nobody had parked any engine on their foot in automotive, and the guy with the transmission on his chest under the Edsel had not moved since last month. As a last resort, Bobby went to Hospitality to see if their new French chef had at least some freebie lunch. No such luck. All the students were busy stirring some gluey gunk in huge soup pots with big wooden spoons. Bobbie asked the chef if it was a French tradition to use wooden spoons for stirring. "No", he replied. "Management deezisson." Bobby asked why management dared to interfere with his superior skills. "If ve hafe 30 of zese bimbos beatin metal pots wizz metal spoonz, zen I go crezie, an zen I kill zem all before zey finish pay for zeir tuition, an ze management, zey dount like dat." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but George hates beeing wheeled about when he is sleeping and I had promised to wake him up a few minutes before it was over." ______________________________________________________ View from Mt Everest. From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ reported by Sr Anna An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Diana Burnett, 52, Lake Worth, Floriduh Woman arrested for attacking boyfriend after he refused to give her money for crack A suburban Lake Worth woman is behind bars after she attacked her 67-year-old boyfriend when he refused to give her money to buy crack, according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office report. On Tuesday night, investigators say Diana Burnett, 52, put her hands around her live-in boyfriend’s neck and scratched him after he told her he wouldn’t give her $100 to buy drugs. The boyfriend told investigators Burnett had been drinking alcohol and smoking crack most of the day when she attacked him. He told deputies that in his 19 years with Burnett, he endured ongoing domestic issues and could no longer live with the abuse, according to the report. Burnett, who refused to come to court Wednesday morning for her first appearance, faces one charge of battery on a person over age 65. She will remain in the Palm Beach County Jail without bail until her scheduled court appearance Thursday morning. Burnett has previously been arrested twice on the same charge, according to court records. Charges were never filed in those cases. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: Scanner produces TIF Dear Webby Its been a very long time, so how have you've been? As for me i lost my dad this past winter. Well its been tough and Im struggling but making it. I got a question for you. From time to time, I scann some documents and it comes out in a "TIF" form and i send it to my sisters, but 1 sister cannot open it up. so do you know a free program that can change a "TIF" file to a MS Word Doc? Take care my friend! Eddie Dear Eddie ANY graphics program will do that. Even "PAINT", which has been included free in Windows since the stone age, will do that. Click on START type paint and it will find it. It is just a very basic paint program, but you can open any picture file, including TIF, and save it as a JPG. It is not a fancy, all around paint program, but it will do just fine for basic stuff like that. You can even crop, resize, rotate and copy. That is all you need for that, and won't cost you a penny. Nothing to download. It is already installed, just not well known. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The very frugal business manager was checking on the travel expenses of his salesmen, when he began to mutter, then yell. One of the salesmen worked up his courage and came over to ask the boss what was wrong. "Look at this crook's travel expenses," the boss said. "How could he possibly spend forty dollars a day for meals in that small town in Ohio?" "It's easy," explained the salesman cheerfully. "All you have to do is skip breakfast." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pre-Marinating Chicken Before Freezing By Jackie H. 136 When I shop, I look for sales on family size packages of chicken, legs, thighs, quarters, and breasts. I love to make my own marinades, and this can be done before freezing your chicken. One of my marinade recipes is: 1 cup of brown sugar 1 cup soy sauce 2 Tbsp. lemon juice 1/2 tsp. black pepper 2 tsp. ground ginger 1/2 cup water Mix these ingredients well until the sugar is completely dissolved. Package your chicken for your meal in freezer ZipLoc bags. Add 1/4-1/2 cup of marinade to each bag. This freezes nicely, and when defrosted, it taste just like you marinated it that day. Try using Italian, Greek or Balsamic dressing as your marinade. These are delicious, too. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Ronnie volunteered to strip the bricks from the exterior of in-law's house. One morning he was out front chipping away when a man came by looking for his father-in-law. "He's not here," Ronnie said. The man thanked him, watched him remove a few more bricks, and said, "I'll bet next time they'll leave the key for you." ___________________________________________________
Paper is not dead!
____________________________________________________ When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked the little five-year-old how he liked the new place. "It's really cool," he said. "I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. Only mom still has to bunk with dad." ____________________________________________________ Most women would rather have beauty than brains, because beauty gets them close enough that men stop thinking anyway. ____________________________________________________
A man with a passion for travel and photography.

Today, February 12, in
1541 The city of Santiago, Chile was founded. 
1554 Lady Jane Grey was beheaded after being charged with 
 treason. She had claimed the throne of England for 9 days. 
1733 Savannah, GA, was founded by English colonist 
 James Oglethorpe. 
1878 Frederick W. Thayer patented the baseball catcher’s mask. 
1879 The first artificial ice rink opened in North America. 
 It was at Madison Square Garden in New York City, NY. 
1907 A collision of the steamer Larchmont and a schooner 
 resulted in the death of more than 300 people. The incident 
 occurred off New England's Block Island. 
1909 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored 
 People (NAACP) was founded. 
1912 China's boy emperor Hsuan T'ung announced that he was 
 abdicating, ending the Manchu Ch'ing dynasty. Subsequently, 
 the Republic of China was established. 
1918 All theatres in New York City were shut down in an effort 
 to conserve coal. 
1940 Mutual Radio presented the first broadcast of the radio 
 play "The Adventures of Superman." 
1971 James Cash (J.C.) Penney died at the age of 95. The company 
 closed for business for one-half day as a memorial to the 
 company's founder. 
1973 The State of Ohio went metric, becoming the first in the 
 U.S. to post metric distance signs. 
1973 American prisoners of war were released for the first time 
 during the Vietnam conflict. 
1993 In Liverpool, England, a 2-year-old boy, James Bulger, was 
 lured away from his mother at a shopping mall and beaten to 
 death. Two ten-year-old boys were responsible. 
1998 A U.S. federal judge declared that the presidential line-item 
 veto was unconstitutional. 
2001 The space probe NEAR landed on the asteroid Eros. It was the 
 first time that any craft had landed on a small space rock. 
2002 Kenneth Lay, former Enron CEO, exercised his constitutional 
 rights and refused to testify to the U.S. Congress about the 
 collapse of Enron. 
2002 Princess Stephanie of Monaco and Franco Knie won a 
 defamation-of-character lawsuit against the Swiss magazine 
 "Facts." The case involved a photomontage created by the magazine. 
2003 The U.N. nuclear agency declared North Korea in violation of 
 international treaties. The complaint was sent to the Security 
 Council. 
2004 Mattel announced that "Barbie" and "Ken" were breaking up. The 
 dolls had met on the set of their first television commercial 
 together in 1961. 
2013 North Korea conducted its third underground nuclear test. 
2015  smiled.


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Changing from GIF to JPG 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, February 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man charged with Assault with a deadly weapon after throwing an alligator into Wendy’s
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 11, in 1808 Judge Jesse Fell experimented by burning anthracite coal to keep his house warm. He successfully showed how clean the coal burned and how cheaply it could be used as a heating fuel. History ______________________________________________________ Crime does not pay ... as well as politics. --- Alfred E. Newman "If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error." --- John Kenneth Galbraith "It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them." --- Mark Twain "Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud." --- Sophocles ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ President Calvin Coolidge, 30th U.S. president (1923 to 1929) was a man of very few words. One Sunday he went to church, but his wife, Grace, stayed home. When he returned, she asked, "Was the sermon good?" "Yup," was Coolidge's brief reply. "What was it about?" Grace asked. "Sin." "And what did the minister say?" "He's against it." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ At a party, a woman walked up to Calvin Coolidge and said, "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you." Coolidge replied "You lose." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ reported by Sr Anna An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua James, Jupiter, Floriduh Assault with a deadly weapon: Florida man charged with throwing alligator into Wendy’s Authorities in Florida have arrested a man accused of throwing a live alligator through a restaurant’s drive-through window. Investigators identified Joshua James, of Jupiter, Fla., as the man who tossed the 3 1/2-foot reptile into a Wendy’s last fall, according to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission incident report. He faces three charges related to the incident: Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon; unlawful sale, possession or transporting of an alligator; and petty theft. James, 24, was taken into custody and booked into the Palm Beach County Detention Center on Monday, as first reported by NBC affiliate WPTV. The driver, wearing a backwards baseball hat, arrived at the drive-through window to receive a large drink just before 1:30 a.m. on Oct. 11, according to the report’s summary of surveillance footage. “While the attendant has her back to the window and is at her register, the male driver reaches across the inside of his vehicle in the passenger area and throws an alligator from his vehicle into the drive through window,” the report reads. A photograph in the report shows the American Alligator flat with its legs splayed on the fast food restaurant’s kitchen floor. An officer responding to the incident captured the alligator, taped its jaws shut “for safety” and released it into a nearby canal, according to the report. I would hope he cut the duck tape before dumping the baby gator into the canal! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Punk Re: Changing from GIF to JPG Dear Webby I hope you are doing well. You often mention changing pictures (and maybe documents as well) from PNG or PSP or PSD format, then save as a JPG or GIF. How do you change to or from JPG . I Have no idea how to change these. And I'm needing specific details if possible. I sometimes have some pictures that need to be changed Thank you for all the info you share as well as the good laughs on you page. Sincerely, Punk Dear Punk Don't try to change them with the file explorer. That would wreck them. Open the picture with any graphics program. There are many hundreds of them, most of them free. The biggest one is GIMP (free) Second biggest one is Photoshop (not free) Third biggest one is Corell (not free) and so on. There is even one included in Windows. Just pick any one of them, crop and resize the picture to the clipping and size you want, mess with contrast and brightness if needed, then save AS, and in the saving process select the format. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Creamy Yoghurt Salad A cumin flavored yoghurt salad with cooked potato, cucumber, carrot, apple and peas. Approximate Time: 1/2 hour Ingredients: 250 g (8 oz) yoghurt 1 potato, peeled and boiled 100 g (3.5 oz) green peas, boiled 1 apple, with peel cucumber, medium carrot, medium with peel 2 Tbsp cream 1/2 tsp black pepper 1/4 tsp cumin seed powder salt to taste pinch white pepper Steps: Peel and boil potato. Wash carrot, cucumber and apple. Beat the yoghurt in a bowl with cream, cumin powder, salt, black and white peppers. Mix well. Cube cucumber, carrot, apple and cooked potato. Add cubed ingredients and green peas to the yoghurt bowl. Mix well. Serve chilled. By Amnabas ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon. If it is Coast Guard, it's still light outside. If it's a Cessna: It's four hours of golfing light left. If it's a Piper: Pub's open." ___________________________________________________
And he waited such a long time!
____________________________________________________ The CIA lost track of one of its agents, and called in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in Dublin. He says to the bartender: "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on the bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He used to live on the top floor in 205, right down the street on the left, but he went into hiding. " No more was forthcoming from the bartender until the spyhunter paid for a round. "It's going to be misty around noon as well." ____________________________________________________ "Wow, man," Timmy said. "God parted the Red Sea and let all His people through on dry ground!" "Sorry," said the 'biblical' scholar. "But that wasn't the Red Sea; it was the Reed Sea. And its water is only about 1 foot deep. No miracle was involved." "Oh," said Timmy. Then, reading on a little more, he said, "Wow, man! What a miracle! God drowned all those Egyptians in 1 foot of water!" ____________________________________________________
Caught at just the right moment, unbelievable photos.....

Today, February 11, in
1752 The Pennsylvania Hospital opened as the very first 
 hospital in America. 
1808 Judge Jesse Fell experimented by burning anthracite 
 coal to keep his house warm. He successfully showed how 
 clean the coal burned and how cheaply it could be used 
 as a heating fuel. 
1812 The term "gerrymandering" had its beginning when the 
 governor of Massachusetts, Elbridge Gerry, signed a 
 redistricting law that favored his party. 
1858 A French girl, Bernadette Soubirous, claimed to have 
 seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Lourdes. 
1929 The Lateran Treaty was signed. Italy now recognized 
 the independence and sovereignty of Vatican City. 
1936 Pumping began the process to build San Francisco's 
 Treasure Island. 
1937 General Motors agreed to recognize the United 
 Automobile Workers Union, which ended the current sit-down 
 strike against them. 
1943 General Dwight David Eisenhower was selected to command 
 the allied armies in Europe. 
1945 During World War II, the Yalta Agreement was signed by U.S.  
 President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston 
 Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin. It was about carving
 up Europe and destroy it, so that it would never rise up
 against the Allies again.
1958 Ruth Carol Taylor was the first black woman to become a 
 stewardess by making her initial flight. 
1960 Jack Paar walked off while live on the air on the "Tonight 
 Show" with four minutes left. He did this in response to censors 
 cutting out a joke from the show the night before. 
1972 McGraw-Hill Publishing Co. and Life magazine canceled plans 
 to publish an autobiography of Howard Hughes. The work turned 
 out to be fake. 
1979 Nine days after the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini returned to 
 Iran (after 15 years in exile) power was seized by his followers. 
1982 France nationalized five groups of major industries and 
 39 banks. 
1984 The tenth Space Shuttle mission returned to Earth safely. 
1990 Nelson Mandela was freed after 27 years in captivity. 
1990 In Tokyo, Japan, James "Buster" Douglas knocked out Mike 
 Tyson in the tenth round to win the heavyweight championship. 
1993 Janet Reno was appointed to the position of attorney general 
 by U.S. President Clinton. She was the first female to hold 
 the position. 
2000 The space shuttle Endeavor took off. The mission was to 
 gather information for the most detailed map of the earth 
 ever made. 
2000 Great Britain suspended self-rule in Northern Ireland after 
 the Irish Republican Army (IRA) failed to begin decommissioning 
 (disarming) by a February deadline. 
2002 The six stars on NBC's "Friends" signed a deal for 
 $24 million each for the ninth and final season of the series. 
2015  smiled.


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Difference between GIF and JPG 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, February 10

I get all kinds of newspaper headline alerts, but
rarely read the details. 
Today I got:
Huffington Post (Democratic propaganda paper):
News Alert: Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary!

no mention of Trump

Next issue:
News Alert: A racist, sexist, xenophobe just won New 
Hampshire Republican primary

Can't really get any more UNprofessional than that!
I have a hunch those bigots will get to eat those words
before this is over. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Wisconsin couple arrested after they got their 9 year old daughter to drive them, because they were too drunk. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 10, in 1863 The fire extinguisher was patented by Alanson Crane. History ______________________________________________________ He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder. --- M. C. Escher (1898 - 1972) Never have children, only grandchildren. --- Gore Vidal (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area: Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and ketchup. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U. Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section." A: The caesarean section is the red light district in Rome. Q: What is a seizure? A: A Roman emperor. Q: What is a terminal illness? A: When you are sick at the airport. Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning. A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. Q: What is a turbine? A: Something an Arab wears on his head. Q: What is a Hindu? A: It lays eggs. ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ >From Noella Sayings of a Jewish Buddha If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story. Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about? The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. From the book ZEN JUDAISM by David M Bader ______________________________________________________ Taiwan Blue Magpies ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Eggert Jason_Roth, Balsam Lake, Wisconsin. Wisconsin couple arrested after they got their 9 year old daughter to drive them, because they were too drunk. Wisconsin couple is facing felony charges after they were caught making their nine-year-old drive their pickup after they were too drunk to drive themselves home. A Wisconsin mom and her boyfriend are facing felony charges for allowing her nine-year-old daughter drive them home in their pickup truck after they appeared too drunk to drive. Jason Roth and Amanda Eggert pled not guilty Friday to a number of felony charges including child neglect and second degree recklessly endangering safety. The couple was arrested about a week ago after authorities say they took a 911 complaint about erratic driving on rural Wisconsin roads. By the time law enforcement caught up to Eggert and Roth’s truck after it had pulled into a public boat launch along the Apple River in Polk County. Deputy Jeff Hahn told the court he was stunned when he realized driver was nine years old and that the couple’s 11-month-old baby was strapped into a car seat. “As the nine-year-old exited the truck, it was still running and in drive when Mr. Roth was sitting in the truck by himself,” Hahn testified in court. “He turned the ignition off and the truck began rolling backwards down the hill towards the river. I jumped into the truck to hit the brakes and put the truck in park.” Hahn said both adults appeared highly intoxicated, with one of Roth’s preliminary breath tests coming back at .25, more than three times the legal limit to drive. The nine-year-old allegedly drove the truck for many miles, weaving in and out of traffic. Fortunately, there were no accidents and no one was hurt. The two young children are now staying with extended family as Eggert and Roth remain jailed. Both their cases are now headed towards trial. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Difference between GIF and JPG Dear Webby Ok, so what's the big diff between GIF and JPG ? Fran Dear Fran GIF files are limited to a maximum of 256 colors. Once they have been reduced to that number of colors, they can be edited and saved as often as you want without deteriorating any further. However, watch that initial reduction in color depth. It CAN do terrible things to a picture unless it is done carefully. JPG files can have 16 - 24 Million colors and they can be compressed. However, the compression scheme is a "Lossy Compression". That means pixels are thrown away, for good. The higher compression ratio you choose, and the more often you save the file, the more washed out the picture looks. Neither GIF nor JPG are suitable for working on a picture. Always work on pictrues in PNG or PSP or PSD format, and then later, when all work is finished and the picture is perfect, and no more editing to be done on it, THEN save it in GIF or JPG for use on the Internet. GIF pictures can be animated, and with the right software you can save short movies in GIF format. If you resize that or accidentally save it in JPG format, the animation is lost. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams?" Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the five o'clock foot- ball game." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hang Hot Pads on Oven Door Handle I had this handy dollar store over-the-door hook. I wanted to hang it over the top of my cupboard next to the stove for hot pads and towels. But, I have the kind of cupboards that are not square on top. The hooks fell forward too far and rattled each time I opened them. I found it worked great on the oven door. I made a couple hot pads and crocheted a chain to keep the towel on the door so you could see the affect. I think it works great. This tip might help you, too. By Sandi/Poor But Proud ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An elderly couple who used to be childhood sweethearts had met again, got married and settled down in their old neighborhood. For old times sake, they walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they'd shared and where he had carved "I love you, Sally", and on the way home they stop and smooch in the alley just like they used to 60 years ago. While they are busy with that, a bag of money falls out of an armored car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, but they don't know what to do with it, so they take it home. There, she counts the money, and it's fifty thousand dollars. The husband says, "We've got to give it back." She says, "Finders keepers." And she puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic. The next day, two FBI men are going door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money and show up at their home. They say, "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" She says, "No." The husband says, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic." She says, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile." But the agents sit the man down and begin to question him. One says, "Tell us the story from the beginning." The old man says, "Well, when Sally and I were smooching in the warehouse alley on the way home from school..." The FBI guy looks at his partner and says, "Let's get out of here." ___________________________________________________
Rita Hayworth - Stayin' Alive
____________________________________________________ >From Hilde Two men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them my minimum fee for moving vehicles: $90. $15 extra if it was a rush job. ____________________________________________________ Bobby tells his foreman: "Boss, my wife's mother is moving, again. And I am supposed to help and move her 10 tons of silly antiques to some other top floor apartment. And as usual, it's on short notice. Tomorrow." "Well, Bobby,....", the foreman answred, " ..we're rather shorthanded these days and I can't give you a day off right now. And I'll be needing the company truck for work tomorrow." "Thanks, Boss!", Bobby beamed, "I knew I could count on you!" ____________________________________________________
Budapest Air Show. Great views of a beautiful city. The helicopter shots are unreal!

Today, February 10, in
1763 The Treaty of Paris ended the French and Indian War. 
 In the treaty France ceded Canada to England. 
1840 Britain's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of 
 Saxe Coburg-Gotha. 
1846 Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day 
 Saints began their exodus to the west from Illinois. 
1863 In New York City, two of the world’s most famous midgets, 
 General Tom Thumb and Lavinia Warren were married. 
1863 The fire extinguisher was patented by Alanson Crane. 
1870 The city of Anaheim was incorporated for the first time. 
1870 The YWCA was founded in New York City. 
1879 The electric arc light was used for the first time. 
1920 Major league baseball representatives outlawed pitches 
 that involve tampering with the ball. 
1923 Ink paste was manufactured for the first time by the 
 Standard Ink Company. 
1925 The first waterless gas storage tank was placed in 
 service in Michigan City, IN. 
1933 The singing telegram was introduced by the Postal 
 Telegraph Company of New York City. 
1933 Primo Carnera knocked out Ernie Schaaf in round 13 
 at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Schaaf died as 
 a result of the knockout punch. 
1935 The Pennsylvania Railroad began passenger service with 
 its electric locomotive. The engine was 79-1/2 feet long 
 and weighed 230 tons. 
1942 The Normandie, the former French liner, capsized in New 
 York Harbor. The day before the ship had caught fire while 
 it was being fitted for the U.S. Navy. 
1962 The Soviet Union exchanged captured American U2 pilot 
 Francis Gary Powers for the Soviet spy Rudolph Ivanovich Abel 
 being held by the U.S. 
1981 The Las Vegas Hilton hotel-casino caught fire. Eight people 
 were killed and 198 were injured. 
1989 Ron Brown became the first African American to head a major 
 U.S. political party when he was elected chairman of the Democratic 
 National Committee. 
1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk announced that black 
 activist Nelson Mandela would be released the next day after 27 
 years in captivity. 
1992 Mike Tyson was convicted in Indianapolis of raping Desiree 
 Washington, Miss Black American contestant. 
1997 The U.S. Army suspended its top-ranking enlisted soldier, Army 
 Sgt. Major Gene McKinney following allegations of sexual misconduct. 
 McKinney was convicted of obstruction of justice and acquitted of 
 18 counts alleging sexual harassment of six military women. 
1998 A man became the first to be convicted of committing a hate crime 
 in cyberspace. The college dropout had e-mailed threats to Asian 
 students. 
1999 Avalanches killed at least 10 people when they roared down the 
 French Alps 30 miles from Geneva. 
2005 North Korea publicly announced for the first time that it had 
 nuclear arms. The country also rejected attempts to restart disarmament 
 talks in the near future saying that it needed the weapons as 
 protection against an increasingly hostile United States. 
2009 A Russian and an American satellite collide over Siberia. 
2009 Amazon announced the Kindle 2.
2015  smiled.


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Voting problems for all newsletters 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, February 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Minnesota Woman Arrested for DUI While Getting Sister From Jail Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 9, in 1895 Volley Ball was invented by W.G. Morgan. History ______________________________________________________ Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900 The whole world steps aside for the man who knows where he is going. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Clara We had been on the road for 15 hours en route from New York to California and were looking for a place to spend the night. At four different motels, however, we were told, "Sorry, no vacancies." Heading back to the car, my seven-year-old son asked solemnly, "Mom, are we vacancies?" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Wife: I want to know if I have grounds for a divorce. Lawyer: Are you married? Wife: Yes, of course. Lawyer: Is there enough money or property to pay for my services? Wife: Yes, of course. Lawyer: Then you have grounds. ______________________________________________________ Grand Teton, Colorado ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erica Stang, 32, St. Cloud, Minnesota Minnesota Woman Arrested for DUI While Getting Sister From Jail Police have arrested a 32-year-old woman after she was pulled over for driving drunk while on her way to pick up her sister, who was already in jail for DWI. Sartell Police said around 2:00 Sunday morning they stopped a car, on River Ave South, and found Erica Stang of Sartell behind the wheel, and under the influence of alcohol. Police said while speaking with Stang, the officer learned that she was on her way to the Stearns County Jail to pick up her sister, who had just been arrested by Stearns County for DWI. Stang was taken to the Stearns County Jail pending charges for 2nd Degree DWI. Her car was also seized for forfeiture. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Robin Re: Voting Problem Dear Webby When I tap cast my vote, it wants a new register account. What should I do? Robin Dear Robin Voting has not worked since 2015. Logging in to registered accounts does not work either. They seem to mix up voter accounts and publisher accounts. You can write to them. They don't answer me. Maybe they will answer you? support@cumuli.com thrifty@thriftyfun.com lewis@cumuli.com support@thriftyfun.com You can try all of those addresses. Maybe on one of them you will get a response. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ After a lecture, we were invited out for lunch. I casually mentioned to the lady that I was allergic to cats. "That's okay," the woman said. "I'll serve something else." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hang Hot Pads on Oven Door Handle I had this handy dollar store over-the-door hook. I wanted to hang it over the top of my cupboard next to the stove for hot pads and towels. But, I have the kind of cupboards that are not square on top. The hooks fell forward too far and rattled each time I opened them. I found it worked great on the oven door. I made a couple hot pads and crocheted a chain to keep the towel on the door so you could see the affect. I think it works great. This tip might help you, too. By Sandi/Poor But Proud ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Johnny went with his mom and dad to his grandmother's house for dinner. When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away. "Johnny, wait until we say our prayer," said his mother. "I don't have to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house. She already knows how to cook!" ___________________________________________________
you just don't find wives like this anymore
____________________________________________________ Bill said the power went out again in L.A. His wife, Kathy had heard a plane flying low overhead. She noticed the plane's landing lights were on and said, "Must not be a widespread power outage -- the plane's lights are on." She was lucky she was not downtown. I heard that during the latest power failure in Los Angeles thousands of people were trapped for hours on store escalators. ____________________________________________________ A sargeant general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the sargeant arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it." ____________________________________________________
The most beautiful rainbow colored river is found in Columbia. The river is named Caño Cristales, or “Crystal Spout.”

Today, February 9, in
1870 The United States Weather Bureau was authorized by Congress. 
 The bureau is officially known as the National Weather Service (NWS). 
1884 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny executed a patent application 
 for a chemical recording stock quotation telegraph (U.S. Pat. 314,115). 
1885 The first Japanese arrived in Hawaii. 
1895 Volley Ball was invented by W.G. Morgan. 
1900 Dwight F. Davis put up a new tennis trophy to go to the winner 
 in matches against England. The trophy was a silver cup that 
 weighed 36 pounds. 
1909 The first forestry school was incorporated in Kent, Ohio. 
1942 The U.S. Joint Chiefs of Staff held its first formal meeting 
 to coordinate military strategy during World War II. 
1942 Daylight-saving "War Time" went into effect in the U.S. 
1943 During World War II, the battle of Guadalcanal ended with an 
 American victory over Japanese forces. 
1950 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that the State Department 
 was riddled with Communists. This was the beginning of "McCarthyism." 
1969 The Boeing 747 flew its inaugural flight. 
1971 The San Fernando Valley experienced the Sylmar earthquake that 
 registered 6.4 on the Richter Scale. 
1971 The Apollo 14 spacecraft returned to Earth after mankind's 
 third landing on the moon. 
1975 The Russian Soyuz 17 returned to Earth. 
1989 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. completed the $25 billion 
 purchase of RJR Nabisco, Inc. 
2001 "Hannibal," the sequel to "Silence of the Lambs," opened 
 in theaters.
2015  smiled.


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Bounce messages 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, February 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Virginia mom was arrested after 'knocking out son’s assistant principal in school attack' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 8, in 1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. History ______________________________________________________ A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married. --- H.L. Mencken All science is either physics or stamp collecting. --- Ernest Rutherford (1871 - 1937) And then there is elaboration of fashionable concepts without bothering to collect any data or stamps. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Grampa was telling his youngest grandson abuot his terrifying experience with cannibals. "There I was, lost in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by twenty hungry cannibals." His grandson, Alexander, said, "But last time you told me, there were only ten hungry cannibals." To which grampa answered, "Ah, but you were too young then to know the whole horrible truth!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Mike's parents have four children. Their names are Penny, Dime and Quarter. What is the fourth child's name? ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Mike's name is simply: Mike. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tracy Lawrence, 43, Portsmouth, Virginia Virginia mom was arrested after 'knocking out son’s assistant principal in school attack' A Virginia mom was arrested after attacking her son’s assistant principal in her office. Tracy Lawrence is accused of knocking out Sylvia Hodges-Melvin at Lakeview Elementary School in Portsmouth. Lawrence was told her son had been disruptive in class, when she suddenly exploded in a rage and punched Hodges-Melvin. “How would you feel if I mushed your head?” the 43-year-old reportedly screamed, according to WAVY.com. The police report says Lawrence hit Hodges-Melvin so hard, she fell down and was briefly knocked out. Police say they don't believe any children witnessed the altercation Tuesday evening. Lawrence, who has three children at the school, was arrested at her home and charged with assault and battery and disorderly conduct. She was granted a $10,000 bond during a Wednesday hearing and was also ordered to have no contact with anyone at the school. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Barbara Re: Bounce messages Dear Webby I send out messges to "group" addys for our church. Sometimes I get a message back that my mail did not get delivered because of a bad/discontinued addy. Does that mean NONE of the folks received the message or only the one(s) with bad addresses? Barbara Dear Barbara All other messages in that batch were delivered normally, only those with bounce messages were bounced. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why married women love Chinese food in general and Won Ton soup in particular. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Tea and Coffee Lattes I don't know about you, but I hate paying the price of coffee lattes and chai tea lattes. They are around $3.50 for a medium or large. I now make them at home anytime I want one, simply by using a stick blender or wand. Or you could use a mixer to get that frothy topping. I buy my favorite teas, french vanilla, black chai tea, or caramel black chai tea, or any favorite tea you would like. For coffee latte, use your leftover coffee, add vanilla extract and cinnamon or any spice you like. For both tea and coffee lattes I use liquid dairy flavored creamers. I buy the low fat and sugar free. For tea latte, boil 1 cup of water in the microwave or tea kettle. Put the tea bag and sugar or any sweetener in your cup, add the boiling water. Let this steep for a few minutes. Take the tea bag out. Add 2 tablespoons of vanilla creamer. Pour this into a large cup. I always place this in the sink, because it sometimes spatters. And blend this for 1 full minute. Pour it back into the mug, you will have the frothy top, add a few sprinkles of cinnamon or nutmeg, whichever you like. I use pumpkin spice. Follow the same steps for coffee lattes, excluding the hot water. Enjoy your lattes! Free of charge! By Jackie H. 134 ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Our neighbour used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side." ___________________________________________________
Skiing down the mountain using your phone as a lasso
____________________________________________________ I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal." ____________________________________________________ A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." "Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn." "I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old." ____________________________________________________
2Ingenious advertising.

Today, February 8, in
1802 Simon Willard patented the banjo clock. 
1861 The Confederate States of America were formed. 
1861 A Cheyenne delegation and some Arapaho leaders accepted 
 a new settlement (Treaty of Fort Wise) with the U.S. Federal 
 government. The deal ceded most of their land but secured a 
 600-square mile reservation and annuity payments. 
1900 In South Africa, British troops under Gen. Buller were 
 beaten at Ladysmith. The British fled over the Tugela River. 
1904 The Russo-Japanese War began with Japan attacking Russian 
 forces in Manchuria. 
1922 The White House began using radio after U.S. President 
 Harding had it installed. 
1927 The original version of "Getting Gertie’s Garter" opened 
 at the Hippodrome Theatre in New York City. 
1952 Queen Elizabeth II ascended to the British throne. Her 
 father, George VI, had died on February 6. 
1963 The Kennedy administration prohibited travel to Cuba 
 and made financial and commercial transactions with Cuba 
 illegal for U.S. citizens. 
1971 The Nasdaq stock-market index debuted. 
1973 U.S. Senate leaders named seven members of a select 
 committee to investigate the Watergate scandal. 
1974 The three-man crew of the Skylab space station returned 
 to Earth after 84 days. 
1978 The U.S. Senate deliberations were broadcast on radio 
 for the first time. The subject was the Panama Canal treaties. 
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced a plan to re-introduce 
 draft registration. 
1985 "The Dukes of Hazzard" ended its 6-1/2 year run on CBS 
 television. 
1993 General Motors sued NBC, alleging that "Dateline NBC" had 
 rigged two car-truck crashes to show that some GM pickups were 
 prone to fires after certain types of crashes. The suit was 
 settled the following day by NBC. 
2002 The exhibit "Places of Their Own" opened at the National 
 Museum of Women in the Arts. The works displayed were by 
 Georgia O'Keeffe, Frida Kahlo and Emily Carr.
2015  smiled.


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What accessories do you need for traveling with a laptop? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, February 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh store thief left cell phone and puddles behind. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 7, in 1882 The last bareknuckle fight for the heavyweight boxing championship took place in Mississippi City. History ______________________________________________________ I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it. --- Lord Brabazon (1884 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sometimes... when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain, no one sees your hurt. Sometimes... when you are worried, no one sees your stress. Sometimes... when you are happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just ONE TIME...! ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Medical Dictionary: Adult - One who has stopped growing except in the middle Alcoholic - A man who has worked his way from bottoms up Anatomy - Something that everyonehas, but it looks better on some than others. Arthritis - Twinges in the hinges. Baldness - Hair today and gone tomorrow. Delinquent Children - Those who have reached the age where they want to do what mama and papa are doing. Dentist - A professional who bores you to tears. Dermatologist - Specialises in rash predictions. Diet - A short period of starvation preceding a gain of five pounds. Doctor a specialist who tells you if you don't cut out something, something will be cut out of you. Doctor's Prescription - Something that looks as if it had been written on a subway train with a post office pen. Ego - The only thing that can keep on growing without nourishment. Expert - one who can take something you already know and make it sound confusing. Headache - Aspirin deficiency. Hospital - A place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill. Hypochondriac - One who can't leave well enough alone. Indigestion - The failure of a round stomach to adjust to a square meal. Life - 1. a span of time of which the first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. 2. what happens to us while we are making other plans Neurotic - One who builds castles in the air. Obesity - A condition caused by an overactive fork Overeating - Action that shapes our future Physician - One who pours drugs of which they know little into a body of which they know less. Professors - Those who go to college and never get out. Psychiatrist - One who collects rent from psychotics and neurotics living in their castles in the air Psychologist - An expert you pay to ask you questions your spouse asks you for nothing Psychotic - One who moves into the castles in the air Research - An organised method for keeping you reasonably dissatisfied with what you have Specialist - People with one-track minds Statistics - The art of drawing a crooked line from an unproved Assumption to a foregone conclusion. Sunburn - Getting what you basked for. Ulcer - A stomach disorder that you get not from what you eat but from what you have to swallow. Virus - A Latin word used by doctors to mean "Your guess is as good as mine." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brooke Amber Sutton, 27, Miramar Beach, Floriduh Floriduh store thief left cell phone and puddles behind. A 27-year-old Florida woman accused of stealing thousands of dollars in merchandise from outlet stores. She left behind two key pieces of evidence — her cell phone and puddles of urine, police say. Brooke Amber Sutton was arrested over the weekend and charged with felony retail theft, the Walton County Sheriff’s Office said in a press release. Police say they found $2,100 in merchandise stolen from stores at the Silver Sands Outlets in Miramar Beach in Sutton’s car. Sutton is accused of peeing on the floor of the dressing room and on some merchandise, the Walton County Sheriff’s Office said in its police report, according to Northwest Florida Daily News. Police said Sutton also urinated on several items of merchandise in the Ann Taylor store, according to the arrest report. Sutton told police she went into the Ann Taylor store and took several items into the fitting room, where she removed price tags and security devices. She left the store with 18 items she did not pay for, according to her arrest report. Deputies responded to the outlet mall after an employee at Ann Taylor found several security tags in a dressing room that had been removed by Sutton, the sheriff’s office said. “Along with the tags was a cell phone left by the suspect,” the sheriff’s office said Police said Sutton then went to Saks Off Fifth and went into a dressing room with between 15 to 20 pairs of jeans, hidden under a men’s suit jacket. She then left the dressing room with six pairs of the jeans, valued at more than $1,000, hidden under the jacket, and exited the store, police said in her arrest report. She set off the security alarm at the Saks outlet, police said. Police Found Designer Jeans, Costume Jewelry & Other Clothing in Her Car After Tracking Her Down Through Her Husband. Police tracked down Sutton by calling her husband, on speed dial on her phone, and getting a description of the vehicle she was driving, the sheriff’s office said. Sutton was found in the parking lot of the Silver Sands Outlet, near the Ann Taylor store. Deputies said they found the six pairs of designer jeans from Saks and $1,100 worth of costume jewelry and other clothing from Ann Taylor. She was arrested at the outlet mall. Sheriff Michael Adkinson Jr. praised the work of his deputies, who tracked down Sutton by using her cell phone. “This is a prime example of quick thinking done by our deputies,” Adkinson said. They used the phone to get a description of the suspect’s vehicle and were able to make an arrest quickly. That’s good police work.” Sutton was arrested on two counts of felony retail theft and booked into the Walton County Jail on Friday. She posted $5,000 bail on Saturday and is awaiting trial. According to online court records she has applied for criminal indigent status. Sure has expensive taste, though! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mia Re: What accessories do you need for traveling with a laptop? Dear Webby one time you mentioned a source for all the stuff one needs for a laptop when you travel. Do you still have that info? Thanks, Mia Dear Mia Times have changed. Nowadays all you need are adapter plugs to fit the outlets in the countries that you plan to t ravel to, for example an adapter, that goes into a German outlet, and into which you can plug your power bar. You can get those adapters at hardwaree stores, NewEgg, RadioShack, etc. Definitely take along a power bar, so that you can plug all of your stuff into that. The laptop charger and pretty well all of your electronics don't care if you use 110 or 200 Volt. Most trains have regular outlets the same as what you get in homes and hotels in that country. Planes usually have the small automotive type outlets, not the large cigarette lighter type. You can get adapters to go into those, so that you can plug in a regular StatPower inverter, that changes 12 Volt DC into 110 Volt AC. Check before you book a flight if that airline allows laptop use during the flight or not. Some do, some don't, and some allow only the Pay-Per-View movies, that they sell. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Bernie came into the principals office looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. “Our chickens have been disappearing.” He said. “And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o’clock, Pa got me and Ol’ Blue, our dog, and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on.” He went on. “Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol’ Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn’t expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we’ve been up a-cleanin’ and a-pluckin’ more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school. " As I handed him his “Excused” slip, he muttered, “I sure hope we don’t have no chicken for lunch this week.” ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Peeling Pickles I love dill pickles, but I do not like biting into one of the rock-like black things on the skin. It sends shivers up my spine not to mention the feeling on the teeth. So I peel my pickles before I eat them. By lnygaard 104 ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon... and it takes eight people to collect all the money!" ___________________________________________________
A Finger, Two Dots and then Me
____________________________________________________ Those men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women. Men hate self-service. It's always so damn bad ... and slow too. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something his lover said. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before his wife finishes talking. ____________________________________________________ A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing the morning service. "I missed you at service this morning," the pastor says. "Well, Reverend", the farmer says, "I had some hay to put up. I figured there would be less cussing if I sat on a dry bale of hay thinking about church, than to sit in a dry church thinking about the hay getting rained on." ____________________________________________________
28 hand built houses from around the world. I really like ’The Seagull house’ in Devon, England.

Today, February 7, in
1882 The last bareknuckle fight for the heavyweight boxing
 championship took place in Mississippi City. 
1893 Elisha Gray patented a machine called the telautograph. 
 It automatically signed autographs to documents. 
1913 The Turks lost 5,000 men in a battle with the Bulgarian 
 army in Gallipoli. 
1940 "Pinocchio" world premiered at the Center Theatre in
 Manhattan. 
1943 The U.S. government announced that shoe rationing would 
 go into effect in two days. 
1944 During World War II, the Germans launched a 
 counteroffensive at Anzio, Italy. 
1962 The U.S. government banned all Cuban imports and 
 re-export of U.S. products to Cuba from other countries. 
1974 The nation of Grenada gained independence from Britain. 
1976 Darryl Sittler (Toronto Maple Leafs) set a National Hockey
 League (NHL) record when he scored 10 points in a game against
 the Boston Bruins. He scored six goals and four assists. 
1977 Russia launched Soyuz 24. 
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Bruce McCandless II and Robert L.
 Stewart made the first untethered space walk. 
1985 "Sports Illustrated" released its annual swimsuit edition.
 It was the largest regular edition in the magazine’s history 
 at 218 pages. 
1986 Haitian President-for-Life Jean-Claude Duvalier fled 
his country ending 28 years of family rule. 
1991 The Rev. Jean-Bertrand Aristide was sworn in as Haiti's
 first democratically elected president. 
1999 NASA's Stardust space probe was launched. The mission 
 was to return comet dust samples from comet Wild 2. The 
 mission was completed on January 15, 2006 when the sample 
 return capsule returned to Earth. 
2000 California's legislature declared that February 13 
 would be "Charels M. Schulz Day." 
2008 The Space Shuttle Atlantis launched with the mission 
 of delivering the Columbus science laboratory to the 
 International Space Station. 
2015  smiled.


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Easier way to save a web address 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, February 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Driver arrested on drunk driving charge tried to persuade officer he had low blood sugar Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 6, in 1952 - Britain's King George VI died. His daughter, Elizabeth II, succeeded him. History ______________________________________________________ Never confuse movement with action. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961) A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. --- Joan Rivers (1935 - ) Heredity is something every man believes in until his own son begins acting like a darn fool! --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ That reminds me.... One day little Johnnie came home from school and announced: "Hey, Dad! Guess what we learned! We are all descended from the APES !" His dad didn't like the notion of that one bit and blew up: "That's NONSENSE!" Johnny replied: "But, but the teacher told us so!" His dad shot back: "YOU might have an ape for an ancestor, but I sure don't!" ______________________________________________________
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February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
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with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Bonnie was very busy one day working in her house. She had just gotten to the basement after quite a few trips up and down, when she heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end... "Hello, is this Bonnie D, we are calling people in your area and would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief survey." Without missing a beat, she told them... "I am BUSY, you will have to survey your briefs yourself." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella, yesterday's Lighthouse is Frankfort Lighthouse, Lake Michigan ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bradley James Mitchell, 38, Weirsdale, Floriduh Driver arrested on drunk driving charge tried to persuade officer he had low blood sugar A 38-year-old man arrested on a charge of drunk driving had tried to convince a police officer he had low blood sugar. Bradley James Mitchell of Weirsdale was pulled over late Wednesday night after his vehicle was spotted swerving on U.S. Hwy. 27 and 441 at Rolling Acres Road, according to an arrest report from the Lady Lake Police Department. Mitchell told the officer he had low blood sugar. The police officer summoned Lake EMS whose personnel concluded that Mitchell’s blood sugar was normal. Mitchell failed field sobriety exercises. He was also found to be in possession of methamphetamine and Clonazepam. His license had also been suspended for a previous DUI. He was booked on $15,000 bond at the Lake County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Virginia Re: How to save a web address easily Dear Webby I really enjoy your daily humor. Once upon a time you had a link for kids to create fantasy animals by mixing them up. I loved it, but lost it. How do I save it so my granddaughter can use it? Virginia Dear Virginia near the top left of your browser it says: "ADDRESS". Just to the right of that you see a small icon. After you browse to that site at http://www.switchzoo.com/zoo.htm grab that small icon and drag it to your desktop. From then on you can just click on that icon on your desktop and your browser will go straight to that site. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A young newly married couple inherited a parrot from an aged relative. This parrot was very talkative, and was forever informing visitors as to what went on in the newlyweds' home. One evening, after a very embarrassing comment from the bird, the husband had enough and said to the parrot, "That's it! You will be covered up much earlier in the future, and if you take your cage cover off or embarrass us again, you will be sent to the zoo." Two days later, the couple was preparing for a short trip, and as usual, the suitcase was too full to close. So the husband said, "I'll get on top and jump up and down and you see if you can get it." After a bit, the wife said, "This is no good. I'll get on top and you see if you can get it." This still did not work, and so the husband said, "Tell you what, let's both get on top and bounce up and down. That'll get it." With this, the parrot pulled off the cage cover and said, "Zoo or no zoo, BOTH on top, this I have got to see." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Plastic Bottle Top Container I love making these containers. I store everything in them, big and small, depending on the size of the bottles and caps I use. You can just stick them in your pocket or drop them in your purse and feel safe knowing the contents of the container won't fall out. All you need for this craft is an empty plastic bottle with cap, a matching cap from another bottle, a knife, and hot glue. Approximate Time: 15 minutes Yield: 1 container Supplies: 1 empty plastic drink bottle 1 matching bottle cap (could be a different colour, needs to be the same size) serrated knife or scissors hot glue gun with glue Steps: Cut off the top of the plastic bottle at the neck. I used a serrated knife because the bottle I used was thick. You can use scissors if you have a thin bottle. Warm up your glue gun. Line the inside of the unattached bottle cap with hot glue. Attach the bottle cap to the other side. Squeeze to secure and let dry a minute or two. This will be the base of the container, untwistable. Decorate the top that you will be twisting. I used a sticker in this demonstration. You can paint, bejewel, or write "open" to remind yourself that's the accessible side. Fill your cute little container, twist on the top, and enjoy! By attosa [172] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "Wait your turn," replied the waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve one table at a time." ___________________________________________________
Israeli musicians in honor of what would have been the late Bob Marley's 70th birthday
____________________________________________________ Thanks to David in Dallas for this one: My wife came home and I proudly told her I had killed 5 flies ... two males and three females. "How do you know the sex of the fly?" she asked. "Simple," I replied, "two were on the beer can and three were on the phone." ____________________________________________________ A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for fre ____________________________________________________
5 Lost Inventions From Nikola Tesla that Could Have Changed The World

Today, February 6, in
1778 - The United States gained official recognition from 
 France as the two nations signed the Treaty of Amity and 
 Commerce and the Treaty of Alliance in Paris. 
1815 - The state of New Jersey issued the first American 
 railroad charter to John Stevens. 
1899 - The U.S. Senate ratified a peace treaty between the 
 U.S. and Spain. 
1911 - The first old-age home for pioneers opened in Prescott, AZ. 
1926 - The National Football League adopted a rule that 
 made players ineligible for competition until their college 
 class graduated. 
1932 - Dog sled racing happened for the first time in Olympic 
 competition. 
1937 - K. Elizabeth Ohi became the first Japanese woman lawyer 
 when she received her degree from John Marshall Law School 
 in Chicago, IL. 
1952 - Britain's King George VI died. His daughter, Elizabeth II, 
 succeeded him. 
1959 - The U.S., for the first time, successfully test-fired 
 a Titan intercontinental ballistic missile from Cape Canaveral. 
1971 - NASA Astronaut Alan B. Shepard used a six-iron that he 
 had brought inside his spacecraft and swung at three golf 
 balls on the surface of the moon. 
1973 - Construction began on the CN Tower in Toronto, 
1985 - The French mineral water company, Perrier, debuted its 
 first new product in 123 years. The new items were water 
 with a twist of lemon, lime or orange. 
1987 - President Ronald Reagan turned 76 years old this day 
 and became the oldest U.S. President in history. 
1998 - Washington National Airport was renamed for U.S. 
 President Ronald Reagan with the signing of a bill by 
 U.S. President Clinton. 
1999 - King Hussein of Jordan transferred full political 
 power to his oldest son the Crown Prince Abdullah. 
1999 - Excerpts of former White House intern Monica Lewinsky's 
 videotaped testimony were shown at President Clinton's 
 impeachment trial. 
1999 - Heavy fighting resumed along the common border between 
 Ethiopia and Eritrea. 
2000 - Russia's acting President Vladimir Putin announced that 
 Russian forces had captured Grozny, Chechnya. The capital city 
 had been under the control of Chechen rebels. 
2000 - In Finland, Foreign Minister Tarja Halonen became the first 
 woman to be elected president. 
2000 - U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton formally declared 
 that she was a candidate for a U.S. Senate seat from the 
 state of New York. 
2001 - Ariel Sharon was elected Israeli prime minister. 
2002 - A federal judge ordered John Walker Lindh to be held 
 without bail pending trial. Lindh was known as the "American Taliban."
2015  smiled.


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How to send multiple pictures 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, February 5
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Former NBA player Gilbert Arenas, who admits to credit card fraud and then brags about it on Instagram. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 5, in 1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British. History ______________________________________________________ People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. --- A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963) Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival. --- W. Edwards Deming ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny answered. The teacher smiled and said, "I'd like to talk to your mother or father." Little Johnny said, "Sorry, but they ain't here." "Little Johnny!" she said, "what is it with your grammar?" And Little Johnny said, "Beats me, but dad sure was mad that they had to go bail her out again!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A manager is told by his doctor that he has to take up some sport, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing. "It's going fine", the manager says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!". "Really? What happens then?", the girl asks enthusiastic Then my body says: "Huh ? Who, me ??? You gotta be kidding!" ______________________________________________________ Where is that lighthouse? ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gilbert Arenas, 34 Former NBA player Gilbert Arenas admits to credit card fraud and then brags about it on Instagram. "I'll order $80,000 worth of ones,throw about $40,000 of it too the strippers, sneak the rest out the club...have one of my #teammates sign that bill....wake up the next day,call #americanexpress(my card was stolen at the strip club last night,and these charges aint mines) with a (no questions asked policy)once they see its not ur signture,they refund you ALL your money back lmaoooo soooo I got the $80,000 I spent back..PLUS the $40,000 I took out the club." HipHollywood has learned exclusively that disgraced NBA star Gilbert Arenas is now under investigation by a fraud department after bragging online about operating a credit card scam. A spokesmen for American Express tells us that they’re aware of Agent Zero’s incriminating Instagram post and are looking into it. A massive credit card company vs. Gilbert Arenas. There are no winners here. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: How to send multiple pictures Dear Webby You are a regular visitor to my home. Every day I use your humor and pithy sayings to folks all around. What is the best way to send multiple photos, some with high resolution, to another via e-mail? I use to have a program to do that but I lost it some way and can't remember what it is. I have W-7. Is there some program built in it to send photos? Thanks again for your daily visits! Hank Dear Hank Your ISP might get annoyed if you send really huge pictures, but that is tough. With Eudora you can ATTACH pictures with CTRL H or embed them by copying them from your graphics program and then paste them into a letter with CTRL V. Different email programs might be slightly different, but deep down inside, they are all just copies of Eudora and Pegasus. The basics will be similar. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Mia went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't really know when to honk the horn or not." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Orange Juice Salmon Moist, easy and fast! The orange juice and cinnamon add a sweetness that is a great contrast to the oregano, onion and garlic flavors. This is a go-to recipe in my house. Approximate Time: 20-25 minutes Yield: As many or as few people as you want-just adjust the amount of fish, spices, butter and orange juice Ingredients: 1 salmon filet for each person butter Greek Seasoning Steps: Lightly grease a baking dish. Avoid using too big a dish for the amount of fish you have. Rinse the filets. Put the fish in the dish. Dot the filets with butter. Sprinkle with Greek seasoning. Pour enough orange juice in the dish to just cover the bottom. Bake in a 400° F oven for 20-25 minutes. Fish is done, when it is firm and flakes well. Source: Yahoo cooking group By Judy Pariser S. [81] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Why men would not make good secretaries: Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: Someone from the Guyna Colleges called. They said the Pabst beer is normal." ___________________________________________________
God Only Knows by every musician you've known In order of appearance: Martin James, Pharrell Williams, Emeli Sande, Elton John, Lorde, Chris Martin, Brian Wilson, Florence Welch, Kylie Minogue, Stevie Wonder, Eliza Carthy, Nicola Benedetti, Jools Holland, Brian May, Jake Bugg, Katie Derham, Lauren Laverne, Gareth Malone, Alison Balsom, One Direction, Zane Lowe, Jaz Dhami, Paloma Faith, Chrissie Hynde, Jamie Cullum, Baaba Maal, Danielle de Niese, Dave Grohl, Sam Smith.
____________________________________________________ Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of the story. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I locked the house with both house and car keys inside." "I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. When I was about three blocks from the store, I got a flat tire. When I finally got here, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and, all the time, the damn phone was ringing off the hook." He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels. The phone was still ringing. When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. . . . all of them hit the floor and broke." "Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. . . . " "and believe me, mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her." ____________________________________________________ A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phoney $18 bills would be in some small hick Southern town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. Ya'll want 2 nines, or 3 sixes?" ____________________________________________________
The Tibetan sand fox is odd looking.

Today, February 5, in
1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British. 
1783 Sweden recognized the independence of the United States. 
1861 Samuel Goodale patented the moving picture peep show machine. 
1885 Congo State was established under Leopold II of Belgium, 
 as a personal possession. 
1917 Mexico's constitution was adopted. 
1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Immigration Act of 1917 
 (Asiatic Barred Zone Act) with an overwhelming majority. 
 The action overrode President Woodrow Wilson's December 14, 
 1916 veto. 
1924 The BBC time signals, or "pips", from Greenwich Observatory 
 were heard for the first time. They are broadcast every hour. 
1958 Gamel Abdel Nasser was formally nominated to become the first 
 president of the United Arab Republic. 
1962 French President Charles De Gaulle called for Algeria's 
 independence. 
1982 Great Britain imposed economic sanctions against Poland and 
Russia in protest against martial law in Poland. 
1988 A pair of indictments were unsealed in Florida, accusing 
 Panama's military leader, Gen. Manuel Antonio Noriega, of 
 bribery and drug trafficking. 
1997 Switzerland's "Big Three" banks announced they would create a 
 $71 million fund for Holocaust victims and their families. 
1999 Mike Tyson was sentenced to a year in jail for assaulting 
 two people after a car accident on August 31, 1998. Tyson was 
 also fined $5,000, had to serve 2 years of probation, and had 
 to perform 200 hours of community service upon release. 
2001 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman announced their separation. 
2003 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell presented evidence to 
 the U.N. concerning Iraq's material breach of U.N. Resolution 1441.
2015  smiled.


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Laptop and Blackberry 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, February 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pasco woman arrested after she uses ‘defecated pants’ as excuse for stealing $199 in groceries from Publix Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 4, in 1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with its former colonies, the United States of America. History ______________________________________________________ Live well. It is the greatest revenge. --- The Talmud ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans. Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side of the house?" "No, dear, not at all," he replied. "Our house isn't blue." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ A certain motivational speaker snuck out the back stage exit for a smoke while an assistant was showing a short audivisual presentation. Out there, huddled against the rain under the shelter of the stage loading dock were some members of a school board meeting who had gone outside "for some fresh air". One of them recognized him by his bright name tag and instantly struck up a conversation as if she was familiar with him. "Tell me," she asked, "how do you detect in somebody whether they have potential for success or not?" "Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "What sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' She thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paula Jay Ernst, 51, Pasco, Floriduh Pasco woman arrested after she uses ‘defecated pants’ as excuse for stealing $199 in groceries from Publix Deputies say a Land O’ Lakes woman used reusable grocery bags to steal $199 worth of groceries from a Hernando Publix grocery store and then claimed she walked out of the store without paying because she had crapped in her pants. On Friday, Jan. 29, Publix workers saw Paula Jay Ernst, 51, selecting items and putting them in her shopping cart at the Public located at 14371 Spring Hill Drive. She then allegedly took the groceries from her shopping cart and put them into reusable Publix shopping bags, which she had brought with her. Hernando County Sheriff’s Office detectives say Ernst walked out of the store without paying for the groceries. The incident was recorded by surveillance cameras. Publix employees wrote down Ernst’s license plate number. She was then contacted at her home by telephone and agreed to return to the store. After she was arrested, Ernst told deputies she did not mean to steal the items and walked out of the store because she had defecated in her pants, according to an arrest affidavit. Ernst was charged with shoplifting and booked into the Hernando County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frieda Re: Laptop and Blackberry Dear Webby Thanks so much for all your help over the years. This I think is a 3-fold question. First, just got a new Blackberry Classic phone which has Blackberry Blend on it to integrate with my computer. My computer is running on Windows XP. Seems that Blackberry Blend and Windows XP don't blend! So can't use Blackberry Blend between phone and computer. My tower computer is almost 15 years old. It's been fixed/updated, etc. many times. So, now I'm thinking with all this new technology that I just might as well buy a laptop. My next question is - which one? I don't watch movies, I do listen to some music. It's mainly used for emails, Facebook, banking, online shopping , office work, spreadsheets etc. Guess that was only 2 questions! lol! So, new laptop which one to accommodate BlackerryBlend and my new Blackberry Classic phone. Thanks again for your help, Wendy (Gwen) Dear Wendy Pretty well any new laptop should be able to handle that. Look at what DELL has to offer. They have the best warranty and online support. Haggle out the details over the phone. Their number is free. They will of course try to sell you a bigger machine than necessary, but you can haggle them down to your intended budget. You can also try Acer. They have some models with very large screens, for example the V3 or the e come with 17.3" screens. They are heavy klunkers intended for office use, not for yuppies to take them to Starbucks. However, for a home office they are just fine. I have a G model, that I got about 6 years ago, which I have lugged through many deserts and up many a mountain, and it is still working fine. You need a back-pack style carry case and be in fairly good shape to lug them through a large airport, but in your case, to replace the desktop in your home, they would be just fine. Because all the yuppies want small and light models suitable for the small tables at Starbucks, these big and heavy clunkers frequently go on sale at Staples and similar stores. I got mine for $330. Once you have narrowed your choices down online, check your local stores. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Judi was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch." "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said. So Judi bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Judi said. "I get into that pen and I can answer all of my mail before the first one climbs over it!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Asparagus Fresh Put your asparagus upright in a couple of inches of water. It will stay fresher several days longer than conventional methods. Source: Williams Sonoma cooking class By Judy Pariser S. [81] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: - religion - royalty - sex - mystery The prize-winning essay read: "My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?" ___________________________________________________
the fork (it's kinda special)
____________________________________________________ An extremely shy fellow once brought his date a bouquet of flowers. She threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard. After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door. She exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't!" he replied. "I'm just going to run to the the cemetery to get more flowers!" ____________________________________________________ Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a preacher hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.The preacher looks at the owner sheepishly and says, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The preacher reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. The vet told me to take that mangy mutt out to the woods and put him out of his misery, cause pills don't help him no more." ____________________________________________________
The beautiful Northern Lights filmed in real time near Fairbanks, Alaska.

Today, February 4, in
1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with 
 its former colonies, the United States of America. 
1789 Electors unanimously chose George Washington to be the 
 first president of the United States. 
1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the public. 
1847 In Maryland, the first U.S. Telegraph Company was established. 
1861 Delegates from six southern states met in Montgomery, AL, 
 to form the Confederate States of America. 
1865 The Hawaiian Board of Education was formed. 
1904 The Russo-Japanese War began after Japan laid siege 
 to Port Arthur. 
1913 Louis Perlman received a patent for his demountable 
 tire-carrying rims. 
1932 The first Winter Olympics were held in the United States 
 at Lake Placid, NY. 
1936 Radium E. became the first radioactive substance to be 
 produced synthetically. 
1948 Ceylon gained independence within the British Commonwealth. 
 The country later became known as Sri Lanka. 
1953 "The Stooge" premiered at the Paramount Theatre in New York City. 
1957 Smith-Corona Manufacturing Inc., of New York, began selling 
 portable electric typewriters. The first machine weighed 19 pounds. 
1968 The world's largest hovercraft was launched at Cowes, Isle of Wight. 
1973 The Reshef was unveiled as Israel's missile boat. 
1974 Patricia (Patty) Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, CA, by the 
 Symbionese Liberation Army. 
1976 An earthquake in Guatemala and Honduras killed more than 
 22,000 people. 
1985 U.S. President Ronald Reagan's defense budget called for a tripling 
 of the expenditure on the "Star Wars" research program. 
1993 Russian scientists unfurled a giant mirror in orbit and flashed 
 a beam of sunlight across Europe during the night. Observers saw it 
 only as a momentary flash. 
1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable in the death 
 of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Goldman's parents 
 were awarded $8.5 million in compensatory damages. 
1997 Two Israeli troop-carrying helicopters collided on their way to 
 Lebanon, all 73 soldiers and airmen aboard were killed. 
1997 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 600th National Hockey 
 League (NHL) goal during his 719th game. Lemieux reached the milestone 
 second fastest in history. Gretzky had reached the plateau during his 
 718th game. 
1998 In northeast Afghanistan, at least 5,000	people were killed in an 
 earthquake that measured 6.1 on the Richter Scale. 
1999 Warplanes from Israel attacked south Lebanon just after rockets were 
 fired toward Israel. No casualies were claimed on either side. 
2000 Austrian President Thomas Klestil swore in a coalition government 
 that included Joerg Haider's far-right Freedom Party. European Union 
 sanctions were a result of the action. 
2003 Yugoslavia was formally dissolved by lawmakers. The country was 
 replaced with a loose union of its remaining two republics, 
 Serbia and Montenegro. 
2004 The social networking website Facebook.com was launched. 
2015  smiled.


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Is MailWasher getting slow? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, February 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NY man in Florida arrested for driving wrong way on flat tire was arrested for DUI Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 3, in 1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers that were fighting in the war against Quebec. History ______________________________________________________ Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) "It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'" --- Sam Levenson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During the last session of our teaching workshop, participants were asked to state their personal goals for the immediate future. One teacher vowed to update photo albums, another to lose weight. The goal that got the most response, however, was given by a slightly out-of-shape kindergarten teacher. "I resolve to exercise until I can complete a 20-minute workout with less than 3 coffee and cake breaks," she said. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. "It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..." "This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my mother-in-law would appreciate that." "Your mother-in-law?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn to swim in a hurry." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mark D. Holiday, 54, Saratoga Springs, New York NY man in Florida arrested for driving wrong way on flat tire was arrested for DUI A 54-year-old man with a Saratoga Springs, New York, address was arrested Sunday night after he was seen driving his grey Infinity station wagon the wrong way on a street, with a flat tire, and cut off another vehicle. The witness called 911. A Marion County Sheriff's Office deputy arrived to find Mark D. Holiday found standing next to the car in the 17000 block of Buena Vista Boulevard in the Marion County section of The Villages. Holiday had a strong odor of alcohol on his breath, bloodshot eyes and slurred speech, according to the MCSO report. Holiday told the deputy he had "drank a little" and had a flat tire, the report notes. Holiday failed roadside sobriety tests. He was arrested and charged with DUI and was taken to the Marion County Jail, where he provided breath samples that showed blood alcohol levels of .192 and .200. The state legal limit at which someone is presumed to be intoxicated is .08. The report states that Holiday had prior DUI convictions in 1996 in New York and in 2005 in California. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frieda Re: Mailwasher is getting slow Dear Webby My MailWasher, -Thanks for telling me about it ! - , is getting really slow. What now ? Frieda Dump the Blacklist. Most spammers nowadays use fake disposable addresses, and never use them a second time because of the blacklists. Instead make filters from their most used topics. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, his father said, "Oh, about half of them." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Marking Adapter Cords I have a lot of electronic adapter cords with the black boxes that plug into an outlet. I don't use them all the time. To keep it straight as to which item each one belongs to, I use white out, or a white out pen (aka Liquid Paper) to mark them with. Anything black that needs to be labeled can be marked with white out. I use white out to put my social security number on things. By Nightsong [39] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" ___________________________________________________
Boys will ALWAYS be boys!
____________________________________________________ Miranda likes to sing, and whenever she begins, her husband heads outside. Hurt, she asked him, "Don't you like my singing?" "Of course, dear," he replied. "I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ____________________________________________________ "What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of registration. "He's a magician," said the new boy. "How exciting. What's his best trick?" "He saws people in half." "How impressive! Now, do you have any brothers or sisters?" "Yep...one half brother and two half sisters." ____________________________________________________
Hummm...mountains, beach or jungle.... can't make up my mind. I want to go to all of them!

Today, February 3, in
1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at 
 Mossal Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have 
 landed on the southern extremity of Africa. 
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the 
 Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers 
 that were fighting in the war against Quebec. 
1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States. 
1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was 
 established in Switzerland. 
1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed 
 it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and 
 Detroit, MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been 
 printed on a train. 
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax. 
1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings 
 burned down. 
1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, 
 which had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 
1918 The Twin Peaks Tunnel began service. It is the longest 
 streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet. 
1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore 
 Pierre Laval to office. 
1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II against Japan. 
1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the Moon 
 was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX. 
1969 At the Palestinian National Congress in Cairo, Yasser 
 Arafat was appointed leader of the PLO. 
1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at Sapporo
1998 Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker. She was the first woman 
 executed in the U.S. since 1984. 
1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing the 
 death of 20 skiers on a lift. 
2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold 
 for $103.7 million. 
2015 The British House of Commons voted to approve letting 
 scientists create babies from the DNA of three people. 
2015  smiled.


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Method for sending illustrated manual update 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, February 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida arrestedfor exposing breasts, throwing pork chops in altercation Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 2, in 1863 Samuel Langhorne Clemens used a pseudonym for the first time. He is better remembered by the pseudonym which is Mark Twain. History ______________________________________________________ If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. --- Dick Cavett (1936 - ) Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had. --- Michael Crichton (1942 - 2008) An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. --- Alfred A. Knopf ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Auto-Correct: A man went to see his eye doctor, who told him he had a case of myopera and would have to wear contract lenses. That's a lot better than his friend, who had had a cadillac removed. Still, when he worked at his computer, he would have to watch out for harbor tunnel syndrome. He worried that his authoritis of the joints might be a signal of Old Timer's disease and fretted that a genital heart defect was causing trouble with his duodemon. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ In a hat shop a salesgirl gushed, "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger." "Then I don't want it," retorted the customer. "I certainly can't afford to age ten years every time I take off my hat!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christine Taylor, 31, Jensen Beach, Florida Florida arrestedfor exposing breasts, throwing pork chops in altercation A break in the teacher sex epidemic: A Jensen Beach woman was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge after allegedly exposing herself and throwing grilled meat during an altercation, TCPalm.com reports. Martin County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to the 2500 block of Northeast Indian River Drive in Jensen Beach Jan. 2 after a male victim reported Christine Taylor, 31, was causing a disturbance. Taylor had reportedly been drinking and was trying to start a fight with residents in the mobile home park. Taylor allegedly exposed her breasts to the victim and his three children before toppling a barbecue grill and throwing pork chops. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: B Frick Re: Method for sending manual update Dear Webby We want to email out some urgent corrections to the manual of one of our products instead of snail-mailing the correction pages or entire manuals. It contains some graphics and some look-up tables, not just text. My secretary wants to do it with a PDF file but I think there must be a better way. What would you recommend? B Frick Dear B Aside from upgrading your secretarial staff immediately, I would recommend ANYTHING but PDF for that. PDF is just for reading and printing. It is difficult to use or to copy / paste it into the old manual. Just send it as regular email. As you can see with the Humor Letter, adding pictures is absolutely no problem. I have been doing that since about 1994. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a stranger's home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ummm, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Tuna Fish Cakes (Gluten Free) Turn a can of tuna into delicious fish cakes. This recipe is both easy and economical. The fish cakes can be served as a light snack on its own. It could also be served with a green salad and potato chips, which would turn it into a complete meal. The fish cakes are very flavorsome, even though it has a low salt level and gluten free flour. Approximate Time: 20 minutes Yield: 5-6 fish cakes, depending on the size of the fish cakes Ingredients: 1 can (170g) light tuna in salt water (119g drained) 1/2 cup Orgran Gluten Free Pizza & Pastry Multimix 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 cup (125ml) grated carrots 1 Tbsp finely chopped green pepper 1 egg 1 Tbsp milk 1/4 tsp ground black pepper pinch of salt pinch of mustard powder cooking oil for frying 3 Tbsp Orgran flour to coat the fish cakes before frying them Steps: Drain the tuna. Add all the ingredients to a bowl and use a wooden spoon to mix well together. Heat the oil in a frying pan. The oil should be approximately 1½ inches deep. In the palm of your hand, shape a ball and then flatten it to form a fish cake. Repeat until no more of the mixture is left. Coat the fish cakes with Orgran flour and fry in heated oil until the fish cakes are golden brown. Flip them to fry on both sides. Remove from oil and drain slightly on brown paper to remove excess oil. Serve with a dollop of mayonnaise. By Benetta [219] You can use Tuna in oil too. Just rinse it with hot water and let it drip in a colander. I also add finely chopped chives or green onions for a bit of zest. For frying them, I use a 4 inch "1 egger" frying pan to save on oil. Remember to cover the frying pan with a splatter guard! Those fish cakes WILL spit at you! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" The shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabbit or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabbit over there?" She in turn puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfhon weally givths a thit." ___________________________________________________
Boys will ALWAYS be boys!
____________________________________________________ This one is best read out loud: One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!" "IMPOSSIBLE!!" said the groom broom. "We haven't even swept together!" ____________________________________________________ A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband's voice on the other end say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number." ____________________________________________________
The ultimate man cave.

Today, February 2, in
1536 The Argentine city of Buenos Aires was founded by 
 Pedro de Mendoza of Spain. 
1653 New Amsterdam, now known as New York City, was 
 incorporated. 
1848 The Mexican War was ended with the signing of the 
 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. The treaty turned over portions 
 of land to the U.S., including Texas, New Mexico, Nevada, 
 Utah, Arizona, California and parts of Colorado and Wyoming. 
 The U.S. gave Mexico $15,000,000 and assumed responsibility 
 of all claims against Mexico by American citizens. Texas 
 had already entered the U.S. on December 29, 1845. 
1848 The first shipload of Chinese emigrants arrived in 
 San Francisco, CA. 
1863 Samuel Langhorne Clemens used a pseudonym for the first 
 time. He is better remembered by the pseudonym which is 
 Mark Twain. 
1870 The "Cardiff Giant" was revealed to be nothing more 
 than carved gypsum. The discovery in Cardiff, NY, was 
 alleged to be the petrified remains of a human. 
1878 Greece declared war on Turkey. 
1880 The S.S. Strathleven arrived in London with the first 
 successful shipment of frozen mutton from Australia. 
1887 The beginning of Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA. 
1892 William Painter patented the bottle cap. 
1893 The Edison Studio in West Orange, NJ, made history 
 when they filmed the first motion picture close-up. 
 The studio was owned and operated by Thomas Edison. 
1897 The Pennsylvania state capitol in Harrisburg was 
 destroyed by fire. The new statehouse was dedicated 
 nine years later on the same site. 
1913 Grand Central Terminal officially opened. Even though 
 construction was not entirely complete more than 150,000 
 people visited the new terminal on its opening day. 
1935 Leonard Keeler conducted the first test of the polygraph 
 machine, in Portage, WI. 
1943 During World War II, the remainder of Nazi forces from 
 the Battle of Stalingrad surrendered to the Soviets. 
 Stalingrad has since been renamed Volgograd. 
1946 The first Buck Rogers automatic pistol was made. 
1962 The 8th and 9th planets aligned for the first time in 
 400 years. 
1971 Idi Amin assumed power in Uganda after a coup that 
 ousted President Milton Obote. 
1980 The situation known as "Abscam" began when reports 
 surfaced that the FBI had conducted a sting operation that 
 targeted members of the U.S. Congress. Phony Arab businessmen 
 were used in the operation. 
1989 The final Russian armored column left Kabul, Afghanistan, 
 after nine years of military occupation. 
1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk lifted a ban on the 
 African National Congress and promised to free Nelson Mandela. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton introduced the first balanced budget 
 in 30 years. 
1999 19 people were killed at Luanda international airport when 
 a cargo plane crashed just after takeoff. 
1999 Hugo Chávez Frías took office. He had been elected 
 president of Venezuela in December 1998. 
2004 It was reported that a white powder had been found in an 
 office of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. The CDC (Centers 
 for Disease Control and Prevention) later confirmed that the 
 powder was the poison ricin.
2015  smiled.


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How to deal with unsolicited porno mail 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, February 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

>From yong
 Re: Camera view monitor is useless in sunshine.
Dear Filex...I have been using my hoodman for years...
completely blocks out the sun...comes in many sizes/uses...
folds to put in your pocket when not in use...
hoodmanusa.com 
yong


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Las Vegas high school teacher arrested for sex with special ed boy — and allegedly exchanged 13,000 text messages with teen Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 1, in 1788 Isaac Briggs and William Longstreet patented the steamboat. History ______________________________________________________ Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. -- Bill Vaughan Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had. --- Michael Crichton (1942 - 2008), ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, "What did you ask me?" She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?" Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce." ______________________________________________________
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Get 15% off those alreay 85% lower than retail
prices with this coupon link!
______________________________________________________ "I'd like two pork chops," said the patron to her butcher, "and make them lean." "Yes ma'am," said the obliging butcher, standing them on end. "Which way?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jillian B Lafave, 25, married, Las Vegas, Nevada Las Vegas high school teacher arrested for sex with special ed boy — and allegedly exchanged 13,000 text messages with teen It is getting difficult to pick just one in the current epidemic of teachers messing with students! A married Las Vegas high school teacher is accused of having sex with a special education student — and allegedly exchanged more than 13,000 text messages with the teen, many sexual in nature, according to reports. Valley High School teacher Jillian B. Lafave, 25, faces a felony charge of performing a sex act with a pupil, court records show. Lafave was put on paid administrative leave following her arrest. While she was arrested on Jan. 16, news of the arrest was first reported Monday. A police report obtained by ABC affiliate KTNV-TV alleges that the student and teacher exchanged thousands of text messages, many sexual in nature. According to the arrest report, the teen would hang out with Lafave nearly every day. A hall monitor spotted the teacher having sex during school hours with the 16-year-old, who does not understand right from wrong, school sources told NBC affiliate KSNV. Lafave, who is free on bond, is scheduled to return to court in March. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Peter P Re: Unsolicited por mail Dear Webby Af riend of mine is receiving unsolicited pronographic E-mails from the following site. http://200.43.112.5/mhg?aid=880575&i........... What can he do to stop this from happening? The site does not have an "unsuscribe" feature. He is 83 years old and not too experienced with the internet so he has asked me if I can help. Any help you can give us would be appreciated. Peter P Dear Peter First, don't ever click on the unsubscribe on shady stuff !!!! The unsubscribe only works with legitimate sites like the Humor Letter. With spam, the unsubscribe only confirms to them that your address works, and they promptly sell your address to thousands of other spammers. I would recommend that you suggest to your friend to install the MailWasher. The icon for that is on the right side on the Humor Letter. With the MailWasher he can easily bounce that spam and make it appear to the spammer that his address does not work, or better yet, make it drop straight down to hell, unseen by any human. Automatically. He can trigger MailWasher with that IP number or with words, that are common to THAT email, but not in good and proper emails. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Many answering machines have a test button to test play your different answering messages. You can easily save a special one on the alternate message and play that for nuisance callers. Here is an example: "This is the Microwave speaking. The answering machine is too busy to talk to you. If you want anything boiled, please hold it up to the phone. If you are a telemarketer, please press the star key now." There are many different free text-to-speech programs available. Most let you select different voices, male, female, old, young, and usually also a "Robo-Voice". That one is best for that message. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Change Computer Date to Extend your "Free Trial" Subscriptions We all have tried various free trial products such as subscriptions to music, games, book clubs, the list could go on and on. If your free trial is about up and you would still like to keep it without making a permanent purchase option just yet, all you need to do is go under your computer settings that manage the time and date and push the date back for however long you would like to extend your free trial. Granted, with some subscriptions you gain more perks once you subscribe and the trial they offer is just a sample of the overall service but if your undecided or run out of time before you get to check out the service this is an easy way to give you more time. Source: Life Tricks by Leslie Rodriguez By Amy May M. [1] Aside from being immoral and unethical, that trick does not work anymore. Windows updates the time and date automatically. Also, keep in mind that the people, who wrote that program, are usually just a tad smarter than the average thief. When you download the trial version, it is encoded with the date. If you play silly tricks to extend the trial period for eleven months, and then finally pay for a year, you get a year starting a month after you downloaded the one month free trial. You can't really argue about not being able to steal. Don't use that trick for more than just overnight. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One of Ginny's picture frames was broken, and she decided to try her hand at repairing it. A screw was missing in one corner, so sheI called the hardware store. "Do you carry screws for picture frames?" she asked. "What size do you need?" "I don't know, but it's rather small." The man sighed. "Ma'am, would that be closer to 'itsy-bitsy' or 'teeny-weeny?'" ___________________________________________________
balls acrobat
____________________________________________________ Morris, a parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead. Furious at the factory's incompetence, Morris promptly sent the part back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind. Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words, "Turn the box around." ____________________________________________________ A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to a dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novocain because I'm in a big hurry and don't want to waste money on a silly tooth." the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear." ____________________________________________________
Enormous salamander found in a cave that could be 200 years old.

Today, February 1, in
1788 Isaac Briggs and William Longstreet patented the steamboat.
1793 France declared war on Britain and Holland. 
1793 Ralph Hodgson patented oiled silk. 
1861 Texas voted to secede from the Union. 
1862 "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," by Julia Ward Howe was first 
 published in the "Atlantic Monthly." 
1865 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln signed a Joint Resolution 
 submitting the proposed 13th Amendment to the states. 
1867 In the U.S., bricklayers start working 8-hour days. 
1893 Thomas A. Edison completed work on the world's first 
 motion picture studio in West Orange, NJ. 
1900 Eastman Kodak Co. introduced the $1 Brownie box camera. 
1913 Grand Central Terminal (also known as Grand Central Station) 
 opened in New York City, NY. It was the largest train station in the world. 
1919 The first Miss America was crowned in New York City. 
1920 The first armored car was introduced. 
1920 Canada's Royal North West Mounted Police changed their name 
 to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The organization was 
 commissioned in 1873. 
1921 Carmen Fasanella registered as a taxicab owner and driver in 
 Princeton, New Jersey. Fasanella retired November 2, 1989 after 
 68 years and 243 days of service. 
1930 The Times published its first crossword puzzle. 
1951 The first telecast of an atomic explosion took place. 
1951 The first X-ray moving picture process was demonstrated. 
1958 The United Arab Republic was formed by a union of Egypt 
 and Syria. It was broken 1961. 
1960 Four black college students began a sit-in protest at a 
 lunch counter in Greensboro, NC. They had been refused service. 
1968 During the Vietnam War, South Vietnamese National Police 
 Chief Brig. Gen. Nguyen Ngoc Loan executed a Viet Cong officer 
 and rapist with a pistol shot to the head. The scene was captured 
 in a news photograph and used in anti war propaganda. 
1976 "Sonny and Cher" resumed on TV despite a real life divorce. 
1979 Patty Hearst was released from prison after serving 22 months 
 of a seven-year sentence for bank robbery. Her sentence had been 
 commuted by U.S. President Carter. 
1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was welcomed in Tehran as he 
 ended nearly 15 years of exile. 
1991 A USAir jetliner crashed atop a commuter plane at Los Angeles 
 International Airport. 35 people were killed. 
1994 Jeff Gillooly pled guilty in Portland, OR, for his role in 
 the attack on figure skater Nancy Kerrigan. Gillooly, Tonya 
 Harding's ex-husband, struck a plea bargain under which he 
 confessed to racketeering charges in exchange for testimony 
 implicating Harding. 
1996 Visa and Mastercard announced security measures that 
 would make it safe to shop on the Internet. 
1999 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky gave a deposition 
 that was videotaped for senators weighing impeachment charges 
 against U.S. President Clinton. 
2001 Three Scottish judges found Abdel Basset al-Mergrahi guilty 
 of the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, which killed 270 people. 
 The court said that Megrahi was a member of the Libyan 
 intelligence service. Al-Amin Khalifa, who had been co-accused, 
 was acquitted and freed. 
2003 NASA's space shuttle Columbia exploded while re-entering the 
 Earth's atmosphere. All seven astronauts on board were killed.
2015  smiled.


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Camera viewfinder monitor no good in sunshine 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, January 31

>From Richie
 As a Contract furniture specialist with 30 years experience, 
I'd like to add a few comments on your answer regarding clear 
chair mats over carpet. 
don't buy the cheap thin ones -they will curl at the edges and 
create a trip hazard, plus they will develop indents where the 
casters sit for long periods of time and make it difficult to 
roll around
also, if you have a desk chair with carpet casters (which are hard), 
you will need to switch to soft casters made for hard surfaces. 
Why" if not when you go to get up or sit in your chair, the chair 
will skate away fast and you could fall and break a bone.
make sure the mat is sized correctly to the space going under the 
desk and wide enough so the casters are not half on and half off 
the mat. good mats can be custom made in a variety of shapes
lastly get the mat with the spikes to prevent the mat from moving 
around
Good Luck
Richie



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida drunk arrrested after he drove into parked patrol car while deputy makes different DUI arrest Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 30, in 1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. History ______________________________________________________ Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy. --- Charles Peters ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter -- haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
Get 15% off those alreay 85% lower than retail
prices with this coupon link!
______________________________________________________ "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "Where is what ?", Scott answered. "My ball! My golf ball!" "Oh, I don't know. I was watching that cute lady over there. Her ball went into the water." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Todd Casey, 49, Michael Probst, 36, Tampa, Floriduh Florida drunk arrrested after he drove into parked patrol car while deputy makes different DUI arrest A drunk crashed into a patrol car while a sheriff’s deputy was making an arrest in another DUI case. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said in a news release the incident happened Sunday night. Deputies were arresting 36-year-old Michael Probst around 10:30 p.m. when another car side-swiped the patrol car. The driver didn’t stop but deputies eventually caught up with him. Michael Probst, 36, was being arrested when the crash occured. Deputies arrested 49-year-old Todd M. Casey shortly afterward. An incident report says Casey had alcohol on his breath, red and glassy eyes and slurred speech. He provided breath samples of .181 and .196. Drivers in Florida are considered impaired at .08. He is charged with DUI with property damage and was cited for not moving over when passing an emergency vehicle. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Felix Re: Camera view monitor is useless in sunshine Dear Webby I did all the homework and research on digital cameras and because I often work in marginal light conditions, I got a big and heavy and clunky Sony. It takes great pictures, but the LCD view finder is totally useless in bright light outdoors. The optical viewfinder on the side is just as bad on clear sunny days. I still love the camera, but I need to find a solution to those problems! Felix Dear Felix That problem has existed a lot longer than digital cameras. The solution is still the same as 150 years ago. Find some black satin and cut a one meter by one meter (3' x 3') square out of it and use that to cover your head and the camera when working in bright sunlight. Satin blocks the light quite well and folds up a lot smaller than any other cloth. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her a card, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. "I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." "What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "We hadn't started eating yet." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Potato Tahdig (Crispy Potato Cake) Tahdig is a traditional savoury Persian treat. What started as the crispy crust that got stuck to the bottom of your pan has rapidly become the most sought-after part of the meal. I like to eat it with stews. I learned how to make it from my mother, who learned how to make it from her mother in law, who was an amazing cook, God rest her soul. :) Approximate Time: 35 minutes Yield: 4 servings Ingredients: 3 medium potatoes 3 Tbsp oil 1 inch of carrot, sliced into flower shapes a few sprigs of Italian parsley Steps: Slice potatoes, about 3mm thick. Add oil to cold pan. Arrange carrots and parsley. Add sliced potatoes, slightly overlapping, in a circular way, spiraling around the pan then stacking up evenly. Add 3 tablespoons of water to pan, turn on heat to medium. Cover with lid, and cook about 5 minutes or until it starts to steam. When you see the steam, add a paper towel between the pan and the lid in order to catch the steam. Reduce heat to low, cook about 20-25 minutes. Do a taste/texture check to see if the potatoes on the top are cooked. When they are, raise the heat to medium for 1 minute to make the bottom super crunchy. Remove from heat. Put the lidded pan on a cold wet towel. This helps release tahdig nicely from the bottom of the pan. The same way you would flip a cake, put a plate over the pan and flip over quickly. Enjoy your yummy and pretty potato creation! *You could also add parboiled rice to a thin layer of potato from the beginning to make more of a rice cake. Source: Family recipe and method By attosa [169] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three pastors from different congregations were having lunch and sharing experiences and ideas to help each other out with their different fellowships. After several minutes of animated conversation, the first one remarks, "Hey, you know, we've got a serious problem at our church that I want to discuss with you guys." The other two pastors nod and he goes on, "Well, it's bats. We can't seem to get these bats out of our attic. The singing and organ playing wake them up, and they start flapping around. Then when I start to preach, we can still hear them moving around up there and it's really hard for anyone to pay any attention. The kids start to cry and, well, it's starting to really get in the way of a good church service." The second pastor says "Well that's interesting, because we've had the same problem, they won't stay out of our belfry. We've tried ringing the bells at all hours, spraying chemicals, we've even had a couple of exterminator companies out. Nothing's worked yet." He throws up his hands in exasperation and shakes his head. The third pastor smiles and nods his head knowingly. "Well, gentlemen. We had that problem a few years ago, and we found a quick solution." he says. The other two pastors look up with hope on their faces, and he goes on, "It was easy. We went up there, got to know 'em a little bit, got 'em baptized and started passing the collection plate to them. Haven't seen 'em since." ___________________________________________________
balls acrobat
____________________________________________________ A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice- mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long." ____________________________________________________ Dave was talking to his buddy, John, about his love life. "So, John, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," John shook his head sadly, "Whenever I mention sex, they object." ____________________________________________________
Very talented and humorous instrumentalists from Poland and their version of Wild West Music.

Today, January 31, in
1606 - Guy Fawkes was executed after being convicted for his 
 role in the "Gunpowder Plot" against the English Parliament 
 and King James I. 
1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of venereal 
 diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 
1858 The Great Eastern, the five-funnelled steamship designed 
 by Brunel, was launched at Millwall. 
1865 In America, General Robert E. Lee was named general-in-chief 
 of the Confederate armies. 
1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by 
 the U.S. House of Representatives. The amendment abolished 
 slavery in the United States. 
1876 All Native American Indians were ordered to move into 
 reservations. 
1893 The trademark "Coca-Cola" was first registered in the 
 United States Patent Office. 
1917 Germany announced its policy of unrestricted submarine 
 warfare. 
1929 The USSR exiled Leon Trotsky. He found asylum in Mexico. 
1930 U.S. Navy Lt. Ralph S. Barnaby became the first glider 
 pilot to have his craft released from a dirigible, a large 
 blimp, at Lakehurst, NJ. 
1934 Jim Londos defeated Joe Savoldi in a one-fall match in 
 Chicago, IL. The crowd of 20,000 was one of the largest 
 crowds to see a wrestling match. 
1936 The radio show "The Green Hornet" debuted. 
1940 The first Social Security check was issued by the U.S. 
 Government. 
1944 During World War II, U.S. forces invaded Kwajalein Atoll 
 and other areas of the Japanese-held Marshall Islands. 
1945 Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier since 
 the U.S. Civil War to be executed for desertion. 
1946 A new constitution in Yugoslavia created six constituent 
 republics (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia, 
 Bosnia-Herzegovina, Macedonia) subordinated to a central 
 authority, on the model of the USSR. 
1949 The first TV daytime soap opera was broadcast from NBC's 
 station in Chicago, IL. It was "These Are My Children." 
1950 U.S. President Truman announced that he had ordered 
 development of the hydrogen bomb. 
1958 Explorer I was put into orbit around the earth. It was 
 the first U.S. earth satellite. 
1971 Astronauts Alan B. Shepard Jr., Edgar D. Mitchell and 
 Stuart A. Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission 
 to the moon. 
1971 Telephone service between East and West Berlin was 
 re-established after 19 years. 
1982 Sandy Duncan gave her final performance as "Peter Pan" 
 in Los Angeles, CA. She completed 956 performances without 
 missing a show. 
1983 The wearing of seat belts in cars became compulsory in 
 Britain. 
1983 JCPenney announced plans to spend in excess of $1 billion 
 over the next five years to modernize stores and to 
 accelerate a repositioning program. 
1985 The final Jeep rolled off the assembly line at the AMC 
 plant in Toledo, OH. 
1990 McDonald's Corp. opened its first fast-food restaurant 
 in Moscow, Russia. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton invoked presidential emergency 
 authority to provide a $20 billion loan to Mexico to stabilize 
 its economy. 
1996 In Columbo, Sri Lanka, a truck was rammed into the gates 
 of the Central Bank. The truck filled with explosives killed 
 at least 86 and injured 1,400. 
2000 An Alaska Airlines jet crashed into the ocean off Southern 
 California. All 88 people on board were killed. 
2001 A Scottish court in the Netherlands convicted one Libyan 
 and acquitted a second in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 
 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that occurred in 1988. 
2015  smiled.


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Clear carpet mats around desks 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, January 30

Thank you, Jim !!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Tacoma car thief arrested after he tried to steal police car, sat in officer's lap Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 30, in 1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. History ______________________________________________________ Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. --- Timothy Leary (1920 - 1996) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean Daughter: "Daddy, I am coming home to get married! Take out your checkbook! I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me! I am in California and he lives in New York! We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viper! Dad, I need your blessings, good wishes, and a big wedding!" Father: "Wow! Really, then get married on Twitter; have fun on Tango; buy your kids on Amazon and pay through PayPal. And if you get fed up with your husband...sell him on Ebay! ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
Get 15% off those alreay 85% lower than retail
prices with this coupon link!
______________________________________________________ >From Walter, the Stonecarver: Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy, is a magical place filled with hundreds of incredible marble sculptures. Visit http://staglieno.com or https://www.facebook.com/StaglienoSculpture/ to see lots of photos of these amazing, beautiful works of art. Walter is involved in restoring these sculptures and remedying hundreds of years of pollution damage on the ancient marble. Here are a couple pictures from the many sculptures: Staglieno Cemetery in Genoa, Italy, is a magical place filled with hundreds of incredible marble sculptures. ______________________________________________________ A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the Army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, slapped his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, girlie, it's back to the village for you." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Boulet, Tacoma, Washington Tacoma car thief arrested after he tried to steal police car, sat in officer's lap A suspected car thief trying to run from police got a surprise when he tried to steal a police patrol car and wound up sitting in an officer’s lap. Fife police Lt. Tom Thompson said the man was spotted acting suspicious near a motel around 8:30 p.m. Tuesday, so a patrol sergeant stopped to check the license on the car he was driving. It came back as stolen. As the sergeant followed the suspect, identified as David Boulet, Boulet jumped from the car and ran. Police said Boulet climbed a fence and ran through traffic in both the north and southbound lanes of Interstate 5, dodging cars. Meanwhile, a Tacoma police officer, hearing the chase over the radio, stopped on the Port of Tacoma road overpass and turned on his red and blue lights. Thompson said Boulet ran from the freeway through heavy brush and onto the overpass, apparently looking for a getaway car. He spotted the patrol car with lights flashing, ran toward it, pulled the door open, got in and sat down in the officer’s lap, apparently unaware that the officer was still behind the wheel. Thompson said the officer was stunned at first, then recognized Boulet’s description as the suspect leading police on a foot pursuit. Boulet was wrestled to the ground and placed under arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Deborah Re: Clear floor mats for desks Dear Webby How well do those clear plastic floor mats that you see in many offices protect the carpet? Debrah Those clear floor mats are not really intended to protect the carpet, but to make it easier for chairs to roll around. After a year or two you can quite definitely spot where the carpet had been covered by a mat and where it had been exposed to air, light, and usage. Carpet ages differently when exposed and used, and the areas under the floor mats will look identical to the areas under the file cabinets, however, that is usually quite preferable to the bald spots your carpet might get if you don't use them. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No Bake Chocolate Mint Cookies This is a very simple way to get your fix of those crispy, chocolatey, minty cookies. I had seen a similar recipe and they used Andes baking chips. I had never heard of them. But sure enough, there they were at Target! I almost paid the $3 for the bag, but realized I probably had all the ingredients at home to make them just as good. Be warned that once you eat one, you will want to keep going until the whole platter is gone! Approximate Time: 10 minutes, plus time for the chocolate to harden Yield: About 20 "cookies" Ingredients: 20 Ritz crackers 1/4 bag (4 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used mini) 1 Tbsp shortening 1/2 tsp peppermint extract Steps: Put your chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl. Add chocolate chips and shortening. You can skip the shortening, if you like. I always use it and rarely have chocolate "seize" on me. Microwave 30 seconds to start with. Take out of the microwave and stir. Put in the microwave and heat another 20-30 seconds. Stir until the chocolate is smooth. Add 1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract, stir and then taste. Don't go crazy with this stuff. If you want it a little more minty, add a few more drops. Stir the extract into the chocolate. Take your cracker and dip it into the melted chocolate. I like to use a spoon to pour the chocolate on top. You can use a fork underneath to pull the cracker out. Wipe the fork against the bowl to get the excess chocolate off. Place on a piece of wax paper. Wait patiently for the chocolate to harden. Enjoy! By Becky Miles [100] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As a passenger ship passed a small island, a bearded man could be seen shouting and furiously waving his arms. "Who is that?" a passenger asked the captain. "I have no idea," the captain replied, "But every year when we pass he goes nuts." ___________________________________________________
Remember the one who fed you the ball watch to the end :D
____________________________________________________ Laura's husband, Ron, was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. "Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated. "Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue." "Yes, I know." said Ron. "It's my wife Laura, she is out of control." "Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you make?" asked the banker. "Frankly," replied Ron with a deep sigh, "because it is a lot safer to argue with you than with her." ____________________________________________________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. "This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The attorney must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ____________________________________________________
The strangest living bird I've ever seen.

Today, January 30, in
1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 
1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the 
 River Tyne. 
1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives 
 took place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold 
 fought on the House floor. 
1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 
1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", 
 was launched. 
1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old 
 mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his 
 hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 
1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 
1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask 
 for a larger army. 
1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway. 
 The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 
1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer 
 "Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean 
 about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 
1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time. 
 The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 
1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 
1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was 
 murdered by a Hindu extremist. 
1958 Yves Saint Laurent, at age 22, held his first major fashion 
 show in Paris. 
1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at 
 Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through 
 the airport was 1,435 feet. 
1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were 
 killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a 
 performance in Detroit, MI. 
1964 January 30 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned 
 spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally 
 crash-landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any 
 pictures to Earth. 
1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched 
 surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 
1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed 
 thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known 
 as "Bloody Sunday." 
1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided to 
 allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been living 
 in exile in France flooding Iran with cassette tapes of his 
 speeches. 
1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a 
 6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security 
 responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 
1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National 
 Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his 
 unemployment benefit. 
1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female 
 prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner 
 bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an 
 abortion. 
2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of 
 an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was defending 
 his actions during the Balkan wars. 
2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due to 
 high production costs and cheap imports. 
2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958 
 took place. 
2015  smiled.


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Secret Key combos 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, January 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Jim !!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida teacher accused of having sex with teen re-arrested on suspicion of tampering with evidence Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, January 29, in 1997 America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated customers under threat of lawsuits across the country. Customers were unable to log on after AOL offered a flat $19.95-a-month rate. History ______________________________________________________ Women always think they can change their man They never do. Men alway hope that their woman won't change They always do. --- Socratex A good wife sometimes forgives her husband when she's wrong. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink Less." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum. "Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Dough." (Plato was a famous philosopher in Greece about 2400 years ago) ______________________________________________________ Looks like Antelope Canyon ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sara Moore, 35, St Cloud, Floriduh Florida teacher accused of having sex with teen re-arrested on suspicion of tampering with evidence Ex-substitute teacher accused of sex with boy rearrested after posting bond A Florida teacher accused of having sex with her child’s friend has been rearrested on suspicion of tampering with evidence. Sara Moore, 35, is accused of sleeping with the 14-year-old boy more than two dozen times at her home in St. Cloud. Moore was released on bail last week, but has been rearrested on suspicion of evidence tampering, reported Fox 35 Orlando. Her relationship with the teen was uncovered when his parents found condoms and sexually explicit Instagram messages, according to an affidavit. Substitute teacher Moore is now accused of going to a local Verizon store to attempt to wipe information from her cellphone. According to a police report, Moore told an employee she was "in trouble with police" and asked how to delete evidence, remotely. "Apparently, she made some statements to a store clerk there about wanting to access a phone that was in evidence pertinent to her current case," said an attorney. Staff at the store alerted police, who then arrested Moore once more. The teen victim, who is friends with the married St. Cloud Middle School health teacher’s children, told police he had sex with Moore up to 25 times in the back of a car at a gas station parking lot, and in her daughter’s bedroom. When his parents learned of the sex, he burst into tears and said that he didn’t want to ruin her life. Moore, who worked with the Osceola County school district for three years, was fired last week. Moore is charged with 10 counts of sexual battery on a minor. A judge handed Moore $75,000 bail on the tampering with evidence charge Wednesday, and she will stay in jail because her bond was revoked because of the sexual battery charge. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vicky Re: Secret Key combos Dear Webby What is the secret key combination to jump back and forth between different programs ? I have seen people use that trick and it looks so cool and professional, but I don't want those people to know that I don't kow. Thanks Vicky Dear Vicky ALT TAB will jump the curser to the previously used program. Also handy are these: CTRL C copy CTRL V paste CTRL X cut (= copy and delete the copied stuff) CTRL Z OOOPS, undo the previous action Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally Lisa gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Lisa said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and honk your horn for you." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No Bake Chocolate Mint Cookies This is a very simple way to get your fix of those crispy, chocolatey, minty cookies. I had seen a similar recipe and they used Andes baking chips. I had never heard of them. But sure enough, there they were at Target! I almost paid the $3 for the bag, but realized I probably had all the ingredients at home to make them just as good. Be warned that once you eat one, you will want to keep going until the whole platter is gone! Approximate Time: 10 minutes, plus time for the chocolate to harden Yield: About 20 "cookies" Ingredients: 20 Ritz crackers 1/4 bag (4 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips (I used mini) 1 Tbsp shortening 1/2 tsp peppermint extract Steps: Put your chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl. Add chocolate chips and shortening. You can skip the shortening, if you like. I always use it and rarely have chocolate "seize" on me. Microwave 30 seconds to start with. Take out of the microwave and stir. Put in the microwave and heat another 20-30 seconds. Stir until the chocolate is smooth. Add 1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract, stir and then taste. Don't go crazy with this stuff. If you want it a little more minty, add a few more drops. Stir the extract into the chocolate. Take your cracker and dip it into the melted chocolate. I like to use a spoon to pour the chocolate on top. You can use a fork underneath to pull the cracker out. Wipe the fork against the bowl to get the excess chocolate off. Place on a piece of wax paper. Wait patiently for the chocolate to harden. Enjoy! By Becky Miles [100] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks passed before Manny and his friend got together again. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So,.... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!" ___________________________________________________
that thing you do
____________________________________________________ "BettySue," asked Dawn thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught your husband with another woman?" "Another woman with MY husband?" BettySue thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from." ____________________________________________________ The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us." ____________________________________________________
The Site Of The Salem Witch Trials Has Been Found, And It's Not Where You'd Expect

Today, January 29, in
1820 Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle. 
1845 Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" was published for the 
 first time in the "New York Evening Mirror." 
1848 Greenwich Mean Time was adopted by Scotland. 
1850 Henry Clay introduced in the Senate a compromise bill 
 on slavery that included the admission of California into 
 the Union as a free state. 
1886 The first successful petrol-driven motorcar, built by 
 Karl Benz, was patented. 
1916 In World War I, Paris was bombed by German zeppelins 
 for the first time. 
1924 R. Taylor patented the ice cream cone rolling machine. 
1940 The W. Atlee Burpee Seed Company displayed the first 
 tetraploid flowers at the New York City Flower Show. 
1949 "The Newport News" was commissioned as the first 
 air-conditioned naval ship in Virginia. 
1963 Britain was refused entry into the EEC. 
1987 "Physician’s Weekly" announced that the smile on the 
 face of Leonardo DeVinci's Mona Lisa was caused by a 
 "...facial paralysis resulting from a swollen nerve 
 behind the ear." 
1990 Joseph Hazelwood, the former skipper of the Exxon Valdez, 
 went on trial in Anchorage, AK, on charges that stemmed from 
 America's worst oil spill. Hazelwood was later acquitted of 
 all the major charges and was convicted of a misdemeanor. 
1996 French President Jacques Chirac announced the "definitive 
 end" to nuclear testing. 
1996 La Fenice, the 204 year old opera house in Venice, was 
 destroyed by fire. Arson was suspected. 
1997 America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated 
 customers under threat of lawsuits across the country. 
 Customers were unable to log on after AOL offered a flat 
 $19.95-a-month rate. 
1998 A bomb exploded at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, AL, 
 killing an off-duty policeman and severely wounding a nurse. 
 Eric Rudolph was charged with this bombing and three other 
 attacks in Atlanta. 
1999 Paris prosecutors announced the end of the investigation 
into the accident that killed Britain's Princess Diana. 
1999 The U.S. Senate delivered subpoenas for Monica Lewinsky 
 and two presidential advisers for private, videotaped 
 testimony in the impeachment trial. 
2001 In Indonesia, thousands of student protesters stormed 
 the parliament property and demanded that President 
 Abdurrahman Wahid quit due to his alleged involvement in 
 two corruption scandals. Wahid announced that he would 
 not resign. 
2014 Archaeologists announced that they had uncovered what 
 they believed to be the oldest temple in Roman antiquity. 
 The temple was found at the Sant'Omobono site in central Rome. 
2015  smiled.


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