Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, February 6
Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pastor who preached ‘Integrity’ caught pants-down 
in bed with married woman
Details at  Boneheads
Today, February 5 in
1778 - The United States gained official recognition from France
as the two nations signed the Treaty of Amity and Commerce and
the Treaty of Alliance in Paris. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. --- Henry Kissinger (1923 - ) He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have. --- Don Juan Manuel (1282 - 1349) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ HUSBAND: 1) A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had. 2) A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife's permission to say so. WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet. SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place. MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "How was your game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went," he answered. "But you're 75 years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's 85 and doesn't play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He would watch the ball for you," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot." ----------------- Time to start playing with imaginary balls or the 15 cent exploding balls. They don't really explode, they are made from compressed clay and look like they exploded when hit with a golf club. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rev. O. Jermaine Simmons Sr., 36, Talahassee, Floriduh Pastor who preached ‘Integrity’ caught pants-down in bed with married woman A married pastor in Florida who recently chastised the media for dishonesty was caught having sex with a married mom, according to a police report. The Rev. O. Jermaine Simmons Sr., 36, ran naked from Claynisha Stephens’ Tallahassee apartment after her husband of seven years caught the two in bed together on Jan. 17, the police report said. The husband, Benjamin Stephens, chased after the pastor with a pistol, but police ? summoned by the wife ? found him first, hiding with no clothes behind a fence. Simmons, pastor at Jacob Chapel Baptist Church in Tallahassee, wrote a blog post just weeks ago titled, “Journalism is Dead.” He argued modern news reporting lacks honesty and integrity. “I can’t help but mourn the death of pure, untainted journalism,” Simmons wrote. Simmons also authored a 2016 book, I Need A Man, touted in a press release as “a fresh perspective on the issues of godly manhood and mentoring.” A photo included in a press kit announcing the release of a new book by Rev. O. Jermaine Simmons Sr. Tallahassee police said they learned of Simmons’ extramarital relationship when Stephens’ wife called 911. She told officers her husband grabbed a small handgun after he caught them in bed and “went out the door in search of Simmons.” “I’m going to shoot both of you,” Benjamin Stephens said, according to the police report. Benjamin Stephens was nowhere to be found when officers arrived. Police found Simmons hiding behind a nearby privacy fence. Simmons told officers he visited Claynisha Stephens that day to discuss “church matters.” One thing led to another and the meeting “took an inappropriate turn,” the police report quoted him as saying. Claynisha Stephens told officers she and her husband attend Simmons’ church. She acknowledged having sex with Simmons and said he bolted after her husband caught them in bed. She said her husband told her he’d considered shooting her, but decided not to “because of their son,” police said. Officers eventually tracked down Benjamin Stephens and found him in possession of Simmons’ clothes, wallet and car keys. He told officers he caught his wife and the pastor having sex in his oldest daughter’s bedroom, according to the police report. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rhonda Re: Phishing Dear Webby Is it true that some of those phishing sites can steal your passwords and bank information even if you don't click on anything ? Rhonda Dear Rhonda Yes, but not if you use MailWasher. (blue button one the right) In MailWasher you see how phoney their mails are, before you download the dangerous part. It shows you the underlying real URL under the phoney one. If you don't have MailWasher, be extremely careful with mail that pretends to be from ANY bank or government agency or any shipping company. Just opening, without actually clicking on anything in some of those mails, will start a script that will install a tiny trojan, that will later call for the rest of the program to harvest your computer. Whenever something looks like it could be from ANY bank, have a close look at the top 20 or 50 lines that you let MailWasher check. You can easily tell from that if the mail is legit or phoney. Don't even bother filling things out with your favorite politicians name and address. Just accepting the form or going to it is enough to contaminate your computer. If it looks the least bit suspicious, let Maillwasher send it to hell. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom has one," the other replied. "What's it for?" "It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered. "Every time she stands on it she gets really mad and starts cussing."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Fixing Wallpaper Bubbles If you have a larger wallpaper bubble, bigger than quarter, cut an X into the bubble and carefully peel back each corner from the center of the X. Then apply some wallpaper paste to each corner and flatten them out with a damp sponge. For smaller bubbles, cut a slit into the bubble using a sharp utility knife. Then use a syringe to squirt some wall paper adhesive into the slit and smooth out the bubble.
cowboy medley
____________________________________________________ Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and the junior one by 10 years said to the elder on his birthday; "How do you feel now that it's your 95th birthday... I mean... How do you really feel? You're 95 years old today... how do you honestly feel?" "Honestly, you say? You really want to know? I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, can't walk, just wet myself, and I think it's funny." ___________________________________________________
Stormtrooper animal helmets.
A man was in the hospital recovering from an operation when a nun walked into his room. She was there to cheer up the sick and ailing. The man and nun started talking and she asked about his life. He talked about his wife and 13 children. "My, my," said the nun, "13're a good, proper Catholic family. The Lord is very proud of you!" "I'm sorry, Sister," he said, "I am not Catholic. I'm Jewish." "Jewish!?" she replies. "'re a sex maniac, aren't you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on February 6

1778 - The United States gained official recognition from France
as the two nations signed the Treaty of Amity and Commerce and
the Treaty of Alliance in Paris. 

1815 - The state of New Jersey issued the first American railroad
charter to John Stevens. 

1899 - The U.S. Senate ratified a peace treaty between the U.S.
and Spain. 

1900 - The Holland Senate ratified the 1899 peace conference
decree that created in international arbitration court at The

1932 - Dog sled racing happened for the first time in Olympic

1937 - K. Elizabeth Ohi became the first Japanese woman lawyer
when she received her degree from John Marshall Law School in
Chicago, IL. 

1952 - Britain's King George VI died. His daughter, Elizabeth II,
succeeded him. 

1959 - The U.S., for the first time, successfully test-fired a
Titan intercontinental ballistic missile from Cape Canaveral. 

1971 - NASA Astronaut Alan B. Shepard used a six-iron that he had
brought inside his spacecraft and swung at three golf balls on
the surface of the moon. 

1973 - Construction began on the CN Tower in Toronto, Ontario,

1985 - The French mineral water company, Perrier, debuted its
first new product in 123 years. The new items were water with a
twist of lemon, lime or orange. 

1987 - President Ronald Reagan turned 76 years old this day and
became the oldest U.S. President in history. 

1998 - Washington National Airport was renamed for U.S. President
Ronald Reagan with the signing of a bill by U.S. President

1999 - King Hussein of Jordan transferred full political power to
his oldest son the Crown Prince Abdullah. 

1999 - Excerpts of former White House intern Monica Lewinsky's
videotaped testimony were shown at President Clinton's
impeachment trial. 

1999 - Heavy fighting resumed along the common border between
Ethiopia and Eritrea. 

2000 - Russia's acting President Vladimir Putin announced that
Russian forces had captured Grozny, Chechnya. The capital city
had been under the control of Chechen rebels. 

2000 - In Finland, Foreign Minister Tarja Halonen became the
first woman to be elected president. 

2000 - U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton formally declared
that she was a candidate for a U.S. Senate seat from the state of
New York, after the sitting Democrat senator was ordered by the
Democrat party to resign and vacate his seat for her.

2001 - Ariel Sharon was elected Israeli prime minister. 

2002 - A federal judge ordered John Walker Lindh to be held
without bail pending trial. Lindh was known as the "American

2017  smiled.

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Hide raw directory listing 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, February 5
Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Mom Claimed Daughter Was Kidnapped So Cops Would 
Find Her Car faster
Details at  Boneheads
Today, February 5 in
1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them. --- Leo Tolstoy Conceit is God's gift to little men. --- Bruce Barton Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," David thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better because it locks." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Corinne I believe my young daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses. I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though. She was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart. She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,' but not the 'N' and the 'Z.'" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jessica Pickett, 22, Columbus, Ohio Mom Claimed Daughter Was Kidnapped So Cops Would Find Her Car faster A woman in Columbus, Ohio, is facing charges for allegedly filing a false report of a missing child just so officers would find her stolen car faster. On Monday morning, Jessica Pickett’s 2004 silver Chevy Impala was stolen in front of her home while she was warming it up. She told police that she put her 4-year-old daughter into the car and went back into her home to get another kid. When she came back out, the vehicle was missing, according to WSAZ TV. Authorities issued an Amber Alert in Central Ohio to find the missing girl. The car was found about a mile away from where it was stolen, but no child was inside, according to WBNS TV. Bradley Stroud, 22, was charged with grand theft auto, but the girl wasn’t found until the 911 dispatcher got a call saying she was at her aunt’s house, according to WCMH TV. Columbus Police Sergeant Terry McConnell told the station that investigators determined she had been with the aunt since Sunday, long before the car was stolen. Officers questioned Pickett who allegedly admitted reporting that her daughter was missing so police would prioritize finding her car, according to WBNS TV. Pickett was charged with misdemeanor falsification and was issued a summons to appear in court. Her children are now in the custody of Franklin County Child Services, according to the station. Stroud appeared in court Tuesday and the judge set his bond at $50,000. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Angel Re: Avoiding raw directory listing Dear Webby How do I hide the raw directory listing that shows up on folders on my web site, that have only pictures in them? Angel Dear Angel Just upload any page that is named "index.html". Then that page will be the default page. You can put a prayer or picture of a church onto that page, and nobody will have a clue what kind of sexy prayer and poultry pictures lurk beneath. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Irene My husband's uncle thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and, also, their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband." His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came home, kissed his wife and said offhandedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?" ----------- He should have used MyMemorizer It is free and sends emails and even texts messages same day, and any number of days you set prior to any event or appointment. You can even set the time of day for it to text an alert to you. I have used it for many years and it has never let me down.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Fruity Pudding By katrine2706 I never knew how to make pudding until my sister-in-law gave me several packs of pudding mix from Germany. I had wondered how to cook it, but never really knew how, since the package directions are written in German. I didn't have the time to google search recipes, so I tried my best to make use of the pudding mix in my own way. The result looked and taste just like our traditional desert called "maja blanca". It tasted better than I expected. Ingredients: 1 can (300 gram) fruit cocktail, drained 1 pack vanilla pudding mix 1 can (270 ml) evaporated milk 1 cup water 1/4 cup sugar 1/3 cup grated cheese Steps: Mix milk, water and sugar together. Stir until sugar is dissolved. Divide the mixture into two. Use one part of the milk mixture to dilute 1 pack of vanilla pudding mix. Simmer the other part of milk mixture over medium heat. Continue stirring until desired consistency is achieved. Pour into container or you can use gelatine mold. Allow to cool for about 3 minutes. Stir the mixture until thick. Add in half of the fruit cocktail. Set aside the remaining half for the top. Top your pudding with remaining fruit cocktail and grated cheese. Chill in the refrigerator for 3-4 hours (do not put in the freezer). Serve.
She wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T-!
____________________________________________________ Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'." The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it. And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100. "What happened?" asked one of the members. "Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, that jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls... then yelled 'Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf, never knowing when or what the second 'gotcha' would be?" ___________________________________________________
People Are Awesome! Best of the Month for January 2017.
COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on February 5
1782 The Spanish captured Minorca from the British. 

1783 Sweden recognized the independence of the United

1861 Samuel Goodale patented the moving picture peep show

1885 Congo State was established under Leopold II of
Belgium, as a personal possession. 

1881 Phoenix, AZ, was incorporated. 

1917 Mexico's constitution was adopted. 

1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Immigration Act of 1917
(Asiatic Barred Zone Act) with an overwhelming majority.
The action overrode President Woodrow Wilson's December 14,
1916 veto. 

1924 The BBC time signals, or "pips", from Greenwich
Observatory were heard for the first time. They are
broadcast every hour. 

1952 In New York City, four signs were installed at 44th
Street and Broadway in Times Square that told pedestrians
"don't walk." 

1958 Gamel Abdel Nasser was formally nominated to become
the first president of the United Arab Republic. 

1962 French President Charles De Gaulle called for
Algeria's independence. 

1982 Great Britain imposed economic sanctions against
Poland and Russia in protest against martial law in Poland.

1988 A pair of indictments were unsealed in Florida,
accusing Panama's military leader, Gen. Manuel Antonio
Noriega, of bribery and drug trafficking. 

1994 White separatist Byron De La Beckwith was convicted in
Jackson, MS, of the 1963 murder of civil rights leader
Medgar Evers. 

1997 Switzerland's "Big Three" banks announced they would
create a $71 million fund for Holocaust victims and their

1997 Investment bank Morgan Stanley announced a $10 billion
merger with Dean Witter. 

1999 Mike Tyson was sentenced to a year in jail for
assaulting two people after a car accident on August 31,
1998. Tyson was also fined $5,000, had to serve 2 years of
probation, and had to perform 200 hours of community
service upon release. 

2001 Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman announced their

2017  smiled.

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How to get rid of AdAware 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, February 4
Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman stabbed her lover after he refused a 
threesome with her and another woman.
Details at  Boneheads
Today, February 4 in
1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities
with its former colonies, the United States of America. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.' --- Frederick L Collins ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This one came back from Tim I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow- covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm. "I wonder why he didn't land," I said. "He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said. As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented. "No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time." "How can you tell?" I asked. "Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the snow plow." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ John and Bob were two of the bitterest golf rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the others arithmetic. One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob, "What'd you have?" Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. "Six!" he said and then hastily corrected himself. "No--a five." Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud "Eight!" "Eight?" Bob said, "I couldn't have had eight." John said, "Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five. But actually you had seven." "Then why did you mark down eight?" asked Bob. John told him, "One stroke penalty, for improving your LIE." ______________________________________________________ Let's try this again without Spanish characters, that caused problems for some people's browsers: From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by (Old glamor pix) Teresa M Gillard, 42, Lake Havasu, Arizona Woman stabbed her lover after he refused a threesome with her and another woman Teresa M Gillard, 42, of Lake Havasu City in Mohave County, Arizona, has been accused of stabbing her boyfriend with a pair of scissors after she wanted him to take part in sex with her and another woman she had met earlier that day in a dog park, the News-Herald reported. Gillard allegedly told Havasu City Police Department that she told her boyfriend that she wanted to invite her new female friend over for the threesome, which she and her boyfriend “have always talked about doing”. However, according to Gillard, her boyfriend — whom she has been dating on-and-off since 2008 — “did not want to have a threesome because he wasn’t feeling well.” The pair began arguing before Gillard is alleged to have attacked her lover with a pair of scissors. While warding her off he got stabbed in the arm and abdomen. Police stated that the victim only suffered minor injuries. Gillard faces felony charges for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and disorderly conduct with a weapon per domestic violence. It was Gilalrd who called the police after the victim locked her out of his home and accused him of beating her up. She got back into the property once and the physical altercation continued before she was locked out a second time. Gillard is now in custody at Mohave County Jail in Kingman, Arizona. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: How to get rid of AdAware? Dear Webby I am having a problem with the AdAware installer. I have purged my computer of every instance of AdAware that I can find. Every time I right click on an icon, the AdAware installer wants to install AdAware. I click cancel, then I have to continue pressing cancel before it gives up. Sometimes it will hang the computer. On searching the internet, it was suggested installing a context menu editor. Sounds good, but I hate to install a program to get rid of another program. What do you think? Thanks. Bill Dear Bill AdAware has been somewhere between a well known problem and a Bloody Nuisance for at least ten years. There are many un- install programs available on the net. It is almost a cottage industry! You also have to get rid of anything to do with Lavasoft. They will re-infect your computer. Do that first. UNinstall anything related to Lavasoft. Then use your Everything searcher and search for unwise in any directory related to Lavasoft or AdAware. Run that. It is an UNinstaller. Then use Everything to search for lavasoft adaware and each time, when it finds something, delete it. If you are one of the poor disadvantaged newbies, who vegetate in the dark without the Everything searcher, get it quickly at After that, dump any and all folders, that have lavasoft or adaware in the name. That should do the trick. The tiny Everything searcher program is most definitely a keeper. You will soon love it and find it as indispensable as a lot of us do. The first time you run it, it is a bit slow, while it catalogs all your drives. After that it will be blazingly fast, even with Terabyte external drives filled with sexy poultry and prayer pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Fran: I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor hold me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak. The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure." "You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "Please continue." "Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will? And who should we contact in case you don't wake up?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Fight Grease With Grease By pho1608 [1 Post] Don't spend money on expensive de-greasers and don't inhale toxic ammonia. Take 1 part mineral or vegetable oil to 2 parts baking soda. This makes the perfect cleanser for greasy cupboards. With a little rubbing, this gets even the most gummy build-up. For greasy film on the oven hood, just drop some oil on a paper towel and wipe it clean. This technique is so effective, I now keep a spray bottle with mineral oil to clean the gucky grease.
nude men clock
____________________________________________________ Overheard at the bus stop - Coed A: "My roommate hogs the TV!" - Coed B: "My roommate keeps borrowing my makeup without asking!" - Coed C: "My roommate keeps stealing my boyfriends before I'm done using them!" ___________________________________________________
Movie effects in the silent film era.
Jill had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen. A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on February 4
1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities
with its former colonies, the United States of America. 

1789 Electors unanimously chose George Washington to be the
first president of the United States. 

1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the

1847 In Maryland, the first U.S. Telegraph Company was

1861 Delegates from six southern states met in Montgomery,
AL, to form the Confederate States of America. 

1895 The Van Buren Street Bridge opened in Chicago, IL. 

1904 The Russo-Japanese War began after Japan laid siege to
Port Arthur. 

1913 Louis Perlman received a patent for his demountable
tire-carrying rims. 

1932 The first American Winter Olympics were held in the
United States at Lake Placid, NY. 

1936 Radium E. became the first radioactive substance to be
produced synthetically. 

1945 During World War II, U.S. President Franklin
Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and
Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a conference at Yalta to
outline plans for what to do with Germany after they finish
bombing it back into the stone age. 

1948 Ceylon gained independence within the British
Commonwealth. The country later became known as Sri Lanka. 

1957 Smith-Corona Manufacturing Inc., of New York, began
selling portable electric typewriters. The first machine
weighed 19 pounds. 

1968 The world's largest hovercraft was launched at Cowes,
Isle of Wight. 

1973 The Reshef was unveiled as Israel's missile boat. 

1974 Patricia (Patty) Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, CA,
by the Symbionese Liberation Army. 

1976 An earthquake in Guatemala and Honduras killed more
than 22,000 people. 

1985 U.S. President Ronald Reagan's defense budget called
for a tripling of the expenditure on the "Star Wars"
research program. 

1993 Russian scientists unfurled a giant mirror in orbit
and flashed a beam of sunlight across Europe during the
night. Observers saw it as a momentary flash. 

1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable
in the death of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron
Goldman. Goldman's parents were awarded $8.5 million in
compensatory damages. 

1997 Two Israeli troop-carrying helicopters collided on
their way to Lebanon, all 73 soldiers and airmen aboard
were killed. 

1997 President Milosevic of Serbia surrendered to the will
of his people, ordering his government to recognize
opposition victories in local elections held in November

1997 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 600th
National Hockey League (NHL) goal during his 719th game.
Lemieux reached the milestone second fastest in history.
Gretzky had reached the plateau during his 718th game. 

1998 In northeast Afghanistan, at least 5,000	people were
killed in an earthquake that measured 6.1 on the Richter

1999 Warplanes from Israel attacked south Lebanon just
after rockets were fired toward Israel. No casualies were
claimed on either side. 

1999 Gary Coleman was sentenced to a $400 fine, a suspended
90-day jail sentence, and ordered to attend 52 anger-
management classes. The sentence stemmed from Coleman
assaulting an autograph seeker on July 30, 1998. 

1999 Amadou Diallo, an unarmed West African immigrant, was
shot and killed in front of his Bronx home by four
plainclothes New York City police officers. The officers
had been conducting a nighttime search for a rape suspect. 

2000 Austrian President Thomas Klestil swore in a coalition
government that included Joerg Haider's far-right Freedom
Party. European Union sanctions were a result of the

2003 Yugoslavia was formally dissolved by lawmakers. The
country was replaced with a loose union of its remaining
two republics, Serbia and Montenegro. 

2004 The social networking website was

2017  smiled.

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Compressed air or vacuum for cleaning? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, February 3
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!

It appears a lot of ISPs censored yesterdays Humor Letter.
You can still read it in the blog at

NOBODY, absolutely NOBODY voted about a new award.
Not a single $1 or $2 vote came in. 
No votes came in.
OK, I can take a hint.

Todays Bonehead Award:
Oklahoma teacher arrested for doing cartwheel 
without undies
Details at  Boneheads
Today, February 3 in
1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the
Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers that
were fighting in the war against Quebec. When they got killed,
no real money had been spent.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. --- Socratex I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977 "Do not talk a little on many subjects, but much on a few. --- Pythagoras The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball "The longest word in the english language is the one that follows the phrase, 'And now a word from our sponsor'." --- Hal Eaton ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Fran: A fellow was walking up to a Doctors office and met another man coming out. Just before they meet the fellow coming out fell face forward dead. The first fellow went in and told the recepionist that a man had just fallen dead outside the office. The receptionist asked him "which way was he going? The man replied "he was leaving the office." The receptionist said, "Well, do me a favor, will you, and go back out and turn him around." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Edna Office trick for today: Go through the waste basket at the printer or copier and collect all papers that are not kinked or crumpled. Neatly stack them and cut them in half. Then put them into the paper tray of the copier or printer. Stick around, because the results are hilarious ! --------- I haven't tried that one myself, but I can just imagine! ______________________________________________________ From FRB: Ravine Bańos, Ecuador ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lacey Sponsler, 34, Pawhuska, Oklahoma Oklahoma teacher arrested for doing cartwheel without undies A substitute teacher was arrested and thrown in jail yesterday for indecent exposure after she performed a cartwheel in a high school choir class “with no under garments on,” police allege. According to cops, Lacey Sponsler, 34, exposed herself to students last Friday at Pawhuska High School in Pawhuska, a city about 50 miles north of Tulsa. Sponsler, seen above, was wearing a long dress, but no underwear, “which caused her to expose herself to the students in this class,” cops allege. “This act was gleefully captured by a student on their cell phone,” said Police Chief Scott Laird. As detailed in a probable cause affidavit, as Sponsler (seen above) performed the cartwheel in the “Junior High Choir room,” her dress was “flipped up,” exposing her buttocks. An officer who reviewed the video of the incident added, “I further noticed that the Defendant was not wearing any type of underwear.” A 17-year-old female student told police that Sponsler “had said that she was not wearing underwear before performing the cartwheel,” which exposed her “bare vagina.” The student noted that she saw Sponsler’s “vagina open and close, as her legs were in the air.” The girl also told police that Sponsler “had been talking about using drugs” and commented on how she “thought fourteen year old boys were like men.” When questioned by police, Sponsler initially denied performing the cartwheel in class. When told that a student captured the cartwheel in a Snapchat video, Sponsler replied that she “did not remember performing a cartwheel or exposing her vagina and buttocks.” Sponsler told police that she was “just dancing with the students” and "trying to be a cool teacher." According to court records, Sponsler pleaded guilty in 2008 to marijuana possession, public intoxication, and possession of drug paraphernalia (for which she received a two-year deferred sentence, was fined $1100, and was ordered to perform 100 hours of community service). In December 2009, a judge ruled that Sponsler violated her probation, in part because she had not disclosed being questioned by police investigating an accused meth cook. Sponsler told cops that she had been present in the suspect’s home when he was manufacturing the drug, adding that the man was “careless when he cooks.” In September 2011, Sponsler pleaded guilty to possession of methamphetamine and marijuana in the presence of a child and possession of drug paraphernalia. She was sentenced to a three- year deferred sentence. As part of that plea deal, prosecutors dropped a burglary charge against Sponsler, who is pictured above in a mug shot snapped yesterday. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rose Re: Clean with compressed air or vaccum ? Dear Webby What is better for cleaning keyboards and computers, cans of compressed air or vacuum cleaner? Rose Dear Rose Cans of compressed air are good for people who sell them. A vaccumm cleaner is the better choice for all computer related items. Instead of blowing dirt into even harder to reach places, a vaccum gets rid of it. While kids will use canned air for huffing and experimenting how close they can get to dying, none have been recorded of using a vacuum cleaner without having been explicitly ordered to do that. Have FUN! DearWebby
True Story My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, just tell me what state it is in!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Easy Cookie Sheet Sliders By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] This is an easy way to make sliders for a large group. We made them for the Super Bowl and they were a huge hit! Source: Food Network Ingredients: #Toppings 10 x 15 in rimmed cookie sheet 3 lb ground beef (90/10) 1 medium onion, finely diced 2 eggs 1/2 cup plain breadcrumbs 4 tsp vegetable oil 1-2 tsp salt ground black pepper garlic powder slider buns cheddar cheese lettuce pickles tomato sliced onion ketchup and mustard Steps: Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. In a large bowl, combine ground beef, breadcrumbs, eggs, and salt. Finely dice the onion and press between paper towels to remove excess moisture. Spread onions out evenly on the bottom of the cookie sheet. Drop ground beef mixture in small pieces onto the onions. Use a spatula to press the ground beef down evenly into the bottom of the cookie sheet. Try to fill in any gaps in the meat. Then use the spatula to gently score the beef into small patties. Brush the patties with vegetable oil. Lightly season the patties by sprinkling them with pepper and garlic powder. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until meat is cooked through. Check them part way through and drain off any moisture/fat that has collected in the cookie sheet. If you want you can broil the patties for a few minutes to brown them up a little. Cut cheese slices into quarters and put a piece of cheese onto each patty. Put the patties back in the oven for 1 minute or until cheese is bubbly. Carefully recut patties and remove from the pan. Serve with grilled onions or lettuce, tomato, and sliced onion. Enjoy! Most definitely broil them a bit to fake that nice charcoal BBQ crisp! WARNING: Some people consider "sliders" as appetizers! Have FUN! DearWebby
interesting and unique - lots of precision
____________________________________________________ >From Trina I just picked up a copy of People's 100 Most Eligible Bachelors... I've searched cover to cover and I still can't find the order form. ___________________________________________________
Art out of silverware.
Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for awhile. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment, she gently nudges her husband and whispers, "Whistle to let that young couple know that someone can hear them." To which Murphy replies, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on February 3

1488 The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at Mossal
Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have landed on the
southern extremity of Africa. 

1690 The first paper money in America was issued by the
Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay soldiers that
were fighting in the war against Quebec. When they got killed,
no real money had been spent.

1783 Spain recognized the independence of the United States. 

1815 The world's first commercial cheese factory was established
in Switzerland. 

1862 Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and distributed
it to train passengers traveling between Port Huron and Detroit,
MI. It was the first time a newspaper had been printed on a

1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified.
It authorized the power to impose and collect income tax. 

1916 In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings burned

1917 The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with Germany, which
had announced a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 

1918 The Twin Peaks Tunnel began service. It is the longest
streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet. 

1941 In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore Pierre
Laval to office. 

1945 Russia agreed to enter World War II on the winning side
against Japan. 

1951 The Tennessee Williams play, "The Rose Tattoo", opened on
Broadway in New York. 

1966 The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the Moon
was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX. 

1969 At the Palestinian National Congress in Cairo, Yasser
Arafat was appointed leader of the PLO. 

1972 The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at Sapporo,

1984 Challenger 4 was launched as the tenth space shuttle

1998 Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker. She was the first woman
executed in the U.S. since 1984. 

1998 In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing the
death of 20 skiers on a lift. 

2009 Eric Holder was sworn in as attorney general. He was the
first African-American to hold the post. 

2010 The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche sold
for $103.7 million. 

2015 The British House of Commons voted to approve letting
scientist create babies from the DNA of three people. 

2017  smiled.

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Fix for when Windows is not updating 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, February 2

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pussy-brain judge in Texas wears pussy-hat in court
Details at  Boneheads
Today, February 2 in
1536 The Argentine city of Buenos Aires was founded by 
Pedro de Mendoza of Spain.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Linda Do You Know What Day It Is? ======================== Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life! ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds, is in good health, and he's already used to getting yelled at and taking orders LadyDi ______________________________________________________ From Linda on FB Looks like Skagway, Alaska to me. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Noella An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sarah Ekhardt, 57, Travis County, Texas Pussy-brain judge in Texas wears pussy-hat in court A judge in Travis County, Texas showed up to the bench earlier this week wearing a notable clothing item, a "Marching Vaginas Pussy Hat", from where some women in a few towns where Democrats won, protested that Americans had elected Melania's hubby instead of Broom Hilda. (via IJR). The worst part, though, is the city said it's perfectly legal for her to do so. Travis county is currently about to be defunded because of not obeying state law regarding illegal immigrant felons. A photo of Judge Sarah Eckhardt wearing the "Marching Vaginas Pussy Hat" in her courtroom first appeared on Facebook, then soon after, went viral on Twitter. One tweet questioned whether defendants felt they could "expect a fair trial, especially as a man" if the judge was wearing a pussy hat. However, apparently she has been known to be a raving Democrat and not letting legalities stand in her way. Should Judge Sarah Eckhardt be awarded a Pussyhead award instead of a Bonehead Award? Vote with your PayPal! (I need to get my car fixed) If the result is an even number of dollars, I'll design a Pussyhead Award, if it is an odd number, I will call it a Sarah Eckhardt award. Your call! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Terrie Re: Windows Patches Dear Webby I still have not got those Windows patches that are mentioned in some magazines. Why am I being excluded? Terrie Dear Terrie Don't panic. Windows is not going to fall down and break. They are just fixing old bugs and putting new ones in. Most likely you have Automatic Updates turned off. Just click on START, ALL PROGRAMS Windows Update And get your patches that way. In there you can also set your updating preferences. Have FUN! DearWebby
Office trick for the day: Print a neat little label and glue it onto a piece of metal or cardboard large enough to cover the button panel on the photocopier. Attach it with double-sided tape. On the label print: This copier is now VOICE activated. Please speak loudly and clearly.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Keep Your Feet Dry With Plastic Bags By Cyinda [214 Posts, 1,286 Comments] When we were kids and wanted to play outside in the rain or snow, we didn't have boots. My mother would put plastic bags over our socks then put our shoes on then cover the plastic bags up with our pants. My mom used bread bags but I used recycled plastic grocery bags for my kids. These days I still cover my socks with plastic bags before I go out into the snow. It's one more useful thing you can do with those plastic bags that are just waiting to be reused! By CDR
What to do with your old ship
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Bonnie for this one: One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. I'll give you two good reasons." He said. "One, they don't like me,and two, I don't like them." His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!" ___________________________________________________
The haunting images of an abandoned Italian villa. Makes one wonder why it's sitting there so lonely.
When I attended a convention of oil men, the first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texan said, "Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas." The second speaker said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight, there ain't NO state in the Union that can out-lie Texas."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on February 2
1536 The Argentine city of Buenos Aires was founded by Pedro
de Mendoza of Spain. 

1653 New Amsterdam, now known as New York City, was

1848 The Mexican War was ended with the signing of the
Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. The treaty turned over portions
of land to the U.S., including Texas, New Mexico, Nevada,
Utah, Arizona, California and parts of Colorado and Wyoming.
The U.S. gave Mexico $15,000,000 and assumed responsibility
of all claims against Mexico by American citizens. Texas had
already entered the U.S. on December 29, 1845. 

1848 The first shipload of Chinese emigrants arrived in San
Francisco, CA. 

1863 Samuel Langhorne Clemens used a pseudonym for the first
time. He is better remembered by the pseudonym which is Mark

1878 Greece declared war on Turkey. 

1880 The S.S. Strathleven arrived in London with the first
successful shipment of frozen mutton from Australia. 

1887 The beginning of Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, PA. 

1892 William Painter patented the bottle cap. 

1893 The Edison Studio in West Orange, NJ, made history when
they filmed the first motion picture close-up. The studio
was owned and operated by Thomas Edison. 

1897 The Pennsylvania state capitol in Harrisburg was
destroyed by fire. The new statehouse was dedicated nine
years later on the same site. 

1913 Grand Central Terminal officially opened at 12:01 a.m.
Even though construction was not entirely complete more than
150,000 people visited the new terminal on its opening day. 

1935 Leonard Keeler conducted the first test of the
polygraph machine, in Portage, WI. 

1943 During World War II, the remainder of Nazi forces from
the Battle of Stalingrad surrendered to the Soviets.
Stalingrad has since been renamed Volgograd. 

1945 U.S. President Roosevelt and British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill left for a summit in Yalta with Soviet
leader Josef Stalin. 

1946 The first Buck Rogers automatic pistol was made. 

1962 The 8th and 9th planets aligned for the first time in
400 years. 

1971 Idi Amin assumed power in Uganda after a coup that
ousted President Milton Obote. 

1989 The final Russian armored column left Kabul,
Afghanistan, after nine years of military occupation. 

1990 South African President F.W. de Klerk lifted a ban on
the African National Congress and promised to free Nelson

1998 U.S. President Clinton introduced the first balanced
budget in 30 years. 

1999 19 people were killed at Luanda international airport
when a cargo plane crashed just after takeoff. 

1999 Hugo Chávez Frías took office. He had been elected
president of Venezuela in December 1998. 

2004 It was reported that a white powder had been found in
an office of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. The CDC
(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) later confirmed
that the powder was the poison ricin.

2017  smiled.

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Clean site about space 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, February 1

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Ohio doctor pleads guilty to drug, tax evasion charges
Details at  Boneheads
Today, February 1 in
1788 Isaac Briggs and William Longstreet patented 
the steamboat. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have. --- Don Juan Manuel (1282 - 1349) Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. --- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink... GIRL : Why not ? BOY : I'm broke. GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number? ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bobbie for bringing back this classic: A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. "No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole in a blizzard." ______________________________________________________ From Wendy Best TV Tray! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dr. Kevin Lake 50, Columbus, Ohio Ohio doctor pleads guilty to drug, tax evasion charges A doctor and former university trustee pleaded guilty Monday to charges of tax evasion and running a pill mill in Columbus that served hundreds of patients a day, authorities said. Dr. Kevin Lake acknowledged knowing that doctors and staff at his Columbus medical clinic were prescribing painkillers without a legitimate medical purpose, according to the indictment and plea deal made public Monday. Lake oversaw illegal operations at Columbus Southern Medical Center that included more than $38 million in patient payments, the government said. Hundreds of patients showed up each day — most of them returning patients — for prescriptions of oxycodone, hydrocodone and Xanax, the U.S. Attorney's Office said. Lake admitted engaging in more than $20 million in money laundering transactions with clinic proceeds, prosecutors said. Lake also evaded $3.5 million in taxes, authorities said. The deal calls for Lake to serve five years in prison. A sentencing date was not set. A message was left with Lake's attorney seeking comment. Lake "got rich by feeding the addictions of hundreds and hundreds of people," said Benjamin Glassman, U.S. Attorney for Columbus and the southern half of Ohio. Lake, 50, served one year as a Bowling Green State University trustee in 2009. He resigned when he was appointed by then-Gov. Ted Strickland to a nine-year term as Ohio University trustee beginning in 2010. He resigned from that position effective immediately on Jan. 21. The university declined to comment. The state medical board lists Lake's status as a doctor as active. Three others already have pleaded guilty in the case, including two doctors at the clinic and a clinic employee. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brenda Re: Clean site about space Dear Webby Do you have a link to a site about stars that does not have ads that may be unsuitable for kids? I don`t want a high tech site, but something like the Sky Maps we used to have as kids. Thanks Brenda Dear Brenda Look on the right side of the Humor Letter ands scoot down the side menu to a link called Sky Map. There is your old-fashioned Sky Map with all instructions. Have FUN! DearWebby
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely. "The front row please." She answered. "You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring." "Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. "No." he said. "I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly. "Do you know who I am?" he asked. "No." she said. "Good," he answered.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Coffee Mug Cake Recipes By Sirrush [1 Post, 22 Comments] Ingredients: 4 Tbsp. flour 4 Tbsp. sugar 2 Tbsp. cocoa 3 Tbsp. oil 3 Tbsp. milk 3 Tbsp. chocolate chips (optional) 1 egg splash of vanilla extract Directions: Mix dry ingredients first in a med/large coffee mug, then add the wet ones. Microwave for 3 minutes in a 1000 watt nuker. Instant and easy 5 minute chocolate cake! Serve it alamode, drizzle with chocolate syrup, inject with caramel... the possibilities are endless. By Sirrush from Alamo, New Mexico
It's a Great Day to Whip Somebody's A**
____________________________________________________ Fred's teenage daughter, who does not have amobile phone, has been trying to run away from home for a year, but every time she gets to the front door, the phone rings." ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
Thanks to Bonnie for this one: In the washroom at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "THOAP!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on February 1
1788 Isaac Briggs and William Longstreet patented the

1793 France declared war on Britain and Holland. 

1793 Ralph Hodgson patented oiled silk. 

1842 In New York City, the "City Despatch Post" began
operations. It was a private company that was the first to
introduce adhesive postage stamps in the western hemisphere.
The company was bought by the U.S. governemnt a few months
laster and renamed "United States City Despatch Post." 

1862 "The Battle Hymn of the Republic," by Julia Ward Howe was
first published in the "Atlantic Monthly." 

1867 In the U.S., bricklayers start working 8-hour days. 

1884 The first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary was

1893 Thomas A. Edison completed work on the world's first
motion picture studio in West Orange, NJ. 

1896 Puccini's opera "La Boheme" premiered in Turin. 

1898 The Travelers Insurance Company of Hartford, CT, issued
the first automobile insurance policy. Dr. Truman Martin of
Buffalo, NY, paid $11.25 for the policy, which gave him $5,000
in liability coverage. 

1900 Eastman Kodak Co. introduced the $1 Brownie box camera. 

1913 Grand Central Terminal (also known as Grand Central
Station) opened in New York City, NY. It was the largest train
station in the world. 

1920 The first armored car was introduced. 

1920 Canada's Royal North West Mounted Police changed their
name to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The organization was
commissioned in 1873. 

1921 Carmen Fasanella registered as a taxicab owner and driver
in Princeton, New Jersey. Fasanella retired November 2, 1989
after 68 years and 243 days of service. 

1929 Weightlifter Charles Rigoulet of France achieved the first
400 pound ‘clean and jerk’ as he lifted 402-1/2 pounds. 

1951 The first telecast of an atomic explosion took place. 

1951 The first X-ray moving picture process was demonstrated. 

1958 The United Arab Republic was formed by a union of Egypt
and Syria. It was broken 1961. 

1960 Four black college students began a sit-in protest at a
lunch counter in Greensboro, NC. They had been refused service.

1968 During the Vietnam War, South Vietnamese National Police
Chief Brig. Gen. Nguyen Ngoc Loan executed a Viet Cong officer
with a pistol shot to the head. The scene was captured in a
news photograph that the opposition press used for campaigning
against the US government.

1979 Patty Hearst was released from prison after serving 22
months of a seven-year sentence for bank robbery. Her sentence
had been commuted by U.S. President Carter. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was welcomed in Tehran as he
ended nearly 15 years of exile. 

1987 Terry Williams won the largest slot machine payoff, at the
time, when won $4.9 million after getting four lucky 7s on a
machine in Reno, NV. 

1991 A USAir jetliner crashed atop a commuter plane at Los
Angeles International Airport. 35 people were killed. 

1994 Jeff Gillooly pled guilty in Portland, OR, for his role in
the attack on figure skater Nancy Kerrigan. Gillooly, Tonya
Harding's ex-husband, struck a plea bargain under which he
confessed to racketeering charges in exchange for testimony
implicating Harding. 

1996 Visa and Mastercard announced security measures that would
make it safe to shop on the Internet. 

1999 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky gave a
deposition that was videotaped for senators weighing
impeachment charges against U.S. President Clinton. 

2001 Three Scottish judges found Abdel Basset al-Mergrahi
guilty of the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, which killed
270 people. The court said that Megrahi was a member of the
Libyan intelligence service. Al-Amin Khalifa, who had been co-
accused, was acquitted and freed. 

2003 NASA's space shuttle Columbia exploded while re-entering
the Earth's atmosphere. All seven astronauts on board were

2017  smiled.

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Capture pictures from PPS 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 31

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Burglar caused home owner to get shot and killed by cops
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 30 in
1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of
venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others. --- Jonathan Winters A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping. --- Kenneth Tynan Pro is to con as progress is to Congress. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >Requested by Celia: Have you still got the one about the Australian, who went for beer, while his wifew was delivering? Yes, sure. A perennial favorite: Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another one." Swampy turns a little pale and leaves. Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he is the father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another one on the way, so call back later." At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth one is on the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double scotch. Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the recording is still going strong: "The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and the last one was a duck." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the blade broke and then she killed the last one with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible story?" "Stay the heck away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking." ______________________________________________________ From FB Imagine the racket they make! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Juan Brian Jetter-Clark, 23, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Burglar caused home owner to get shot and killed by cops "They shot the wrong guy," the victim's ex-wife said. Police fatally shot an armed Pittsburgh man inside his home Sunday as officers responded to a call about a burglary in progress, authorities said. Christopher Thompkins ex-wife, Brenda Richmond, said the nightmare began around 4 a.m. when the couple woke to a stranger standing in their bedroom. "I opened my eyes and a man was standing there above us," Richmond, 51, who had reconciled with her ex-husband years ago, told the Pittsburg Post-Gazette. Richmond said Thompkins, 57, asked for her handgun, which was licensed to her. The burglar fled their room, but she said Thompkins became concerned for his elderlyblind and disabled mother who was sleeping downstairs. "He was just saying, 'My mom, my mom,'" she told The Tribune Review. "That's all he was worrying about." Thompkins hurried down their homes staircase and opened fire at the burglar. Two officers, who were about to attempt to enter the home after receiving a call about a possible burglary in progress shot through the closed door without warning and killed Thompkins. Richmond said that she wasn't aware that a security alarm had been tripped, alerting local police. She later called 911 herself after climbing out onto her house's roof, she told the Post-Gazette. Suspect Juan Brian Jetter-Clark, 23, was taken into custody at the scene for criminal trespass, police said. "They shot the wrong guy," Richmond told the Tribune. "He didn't want to hurt no cops. He was trying to save his mother." Speaking to the Post-Gazette, she said she realizes that officers were just trying to do their job. "They heard somebody shooting, they shoot," she said. Still, she said she wishes that "the protocol can be made better." Theoretically they should have announced their presence, not just shot through the door. According to the Post-Gazette, Thompkins spent 10 years in prison for the shooting death of another man during a domestic dispute involving Richmond. The couple was married at the time of the 1994 shooting but had been separated for a month. Richmond said Thompkins "was not the same man today that he was back then." In a statement, police said that the two officers involved have been placed on administrative leave. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Martin Re: Capturing pictures from PowerPoint Presentrations Dear Webby I'd just like to capture the picture, not the drivel. Some would make great wallpaper. Ideas? Martin Dear Martin Open PSP or any decent paint program Start the Powerpoint Presentation Just hit PrintScreen when you get to the slide that you want That prints it to the clipboard. Hit ESC out ALT TAB to get out of the PPS and into PSP CTRL V to open the capture as a picture ALT TAB back into the PPS and so on. ALT TAB jumps you from the open application to the one you were in just before, and you can jump back and forth easily. However, ALT TAB is quite literal. It jumps to the previous one, not the one before that. To avoid jumping from PSP to your mail, temporarily drag the PPS file onto the desktop and open it from there. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Wayne During a recent business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The cast iron weights were bright yellow and black and marked, "14,000 lbs." But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight. Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flying."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Gluten Free Lemon Bars By Ida Claire [10 Posts, 20 Comments] Total Time: 40 minutes Yield: 9-12 depending on how you cut them Source: Bethel Methodist Church cookbook Ingredients: Crust 1/2 cup butter-softened 1/3 cup sugar 1 cup gluten free Bisquick Pam cooking spray Filling 3/4 cup sugar 2 eggs 3 Tbsp gluten free Bisquick zest from 1 large lemon juice from 1 large lemon Topping powdered sugar Steps: Combine softened butter, sugar and gluten free Bisquick in a bowl and mix together until it resembles coarse crumbs. Spray a 9x9 inch baking dish with Pam. Be sure to get the sides sprayed well too. Press crumb mixture into the bottom of dish. Pack down well, especially around the edges. Bake this at 350 degrees F for 15-17 minutes until edges are brown. While this is cooking mix the eggs, sugar and Bisquick together in a bowl. Grate lemon peel from a large lemon and then juice the lemon and add to mixture. Beat on medium speed until blended. Once the crust is finished cooking, pour the wet mixture on top of crust. Be sure to stir the mixture up real good right before pouring over crust. Return to oven and continue baking until top is golden; about 20 minutes. When done remove from oven and sprinkle with powdered sugar. While still hot, take a spatula and gently go around the edges of the dish. This will make removal easier once it has cooled. Once it is cooled, cut into squares and enjoy!
for your popping enjoyment
____________________________________________________ Newspapers 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who like seeing the news twisted to be suitable for badmouthing any Republican government. Facts are irrelevant, as long as the date is correct. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave LA to do it. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. 9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country .... or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they strenuously oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats. 10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores. 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store. ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
Seen in an office downtown: Office Rules 1) If it rings, put it on hold. 2) If it clanks, call the repairman. 3) If it whistles, ignore it. 4) If it's a friend, take a break. 5) If it's the boss, look busy. 6) If it talks, take notes. 7) If it's handwritten, type it. 8) If it's typed, copy it. 9) If it's copied, file it. 10) If it's Friday, forget it!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 31
1606 Guy Fawkes was executed after being convicted for his
role in the "Gunpowder Plot" against the English Parliament
and King James I. 

1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of
venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 

1858 The Great Eastern, the five-funnelled steamship
designed by Brunel, was launched at Millwall. 

1865 In America, General Robert E. Lee was named general-in-
chief of the Confederate armies. 

1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed
by the U.S. House of Representatives. It was ratified by the
necessary number of states on December 6, 1865. The
amendment abolished slavery in the United States. 

1876 All Native American Indians were ordered to move into

1893 The trademark "Coca-Cola" was first registered in the
United States Patent Office. 

1917 Germany announced its policy of unrestricted submarine

1929 The USSR exiled Leon Trotsky. He found asylum in

1930 U.S. Navy Lt. Ralph S. Barnaby became the first glider
pilot to have his craft released from a dirigible, a large
blimp, at Lakehurst, NJ. 

1934 Jim Londos defeated Joe Savoldi in a one-fall match in
Chicago, IL. The crowd of 20,000 was one of the largest
crowds to see a wrestling match. 

1936 The radio show "The Green Hornet" debuted. 

1940 The first Social Security check was issued by the U.S.

1944 During World War II, U.S. forces invaded Kwajalein
Atoll and other areas of the Japanese-held Marshall Islands.

1945 Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier since
the U.S. Civil War to be executed for desertion. 

1946 A new constitution in Yugoslavia created six
constituent republics (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia,
Slovenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Macedonia) subordinated to a
central authority, on the model of the USSR. 

1949 The first TV daytime soap opera was broadcast from
NBC's station in Chicago, IL. It was "These Are My

1950 U.S. President Truman announced that he had ordered
development of the hydrogen bomb. 

1958 Explorer I was put into orbit around the earth. It was
the first U.S. earth satellite. 

1971 Astronauts Alan B. Shepard Jr., Edgar D. Mitchell and
Stuart A. Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission to
the moon. 

1971 Telephone service between East and West Berlin was re-
established after 19 years. 

1982 Sandy Duncan gave her final performance as "Peter Pan"
in Los Angeles, CA. She completed 956 performances without
missing a show. 

1983 The wearing of seat belts in cars became compulsory in

1983 JCPenney announced plans to spend in excess of $1
billion over the next five years to modernize stores and to
accelerate a repositioning program. 

1985 The final Jeep rolled off the assembly line at the AMC
plant in Toledo, OH. 

1990 McDonald's Corp. opened its first fast-food restaurant
in Moscow, Russia. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton invoked presidential emergency
authority to provide a $20 billion loan to Mexico to
stabilize its economy. 

1996 In Columbo, Sri Lanka, a truck was rammed into the
gates of the Central Bank. The truck filled with explosives
killed at least 86 and injured 1,400. 

2000 John Rocker (Atlanta Braves) was suspended from major
league baseball for disparaging foreigners, homosexuals and
minorities in an interview published by Sports Illustrated. 

2000 An Alaska Airlines jet crashed into the ocean off
Southern California. All 88 people on board were killed. 

2001 A Scottish court in the Netherlands convicted one
Libyan and acquitted a second in the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that occurred in 1988. 

2017  smiled.

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Transferring 1500 pictures 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 30

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Fisherman's $500K Catch Could Get Him Life in Prison
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 30 in
1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on 
the River Tyne.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog. --- Peter Steiner The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. --- Flannery O'Connor (1925 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Texan, a Scot and a Californian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Texan, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the Texan, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Californian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew was back here." "That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the Texan, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Californian was waiting for the government to pay his." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. Today is Monday, the day YOU drive." ______________________________________________________ From FB Zhangjiajie National Park China, by Thomas Dawson ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Thomas Breeding, 32, Panama City, Floriduh Fisherman's $500K Catch Could Get Him Life in Prison Thomas Breeding chose to sell cocaine bale When commercial fisherman Thomas Breeding found 45 pounds of cocaine floating in the Gulf of Mexico last January, he says he knew the right thing was to turn it over to police. The Florida man instead opted to sell it, a decision that could land him in prison for life. Breeding—a 32-year-old boat captain with drug and weapons convictions, per the Panama City News Herald—says he hadn't "ever been involved in the drug trade before. I was just a hard-working, young commercial fisherman." But the package—worth $500,000 to $620,000 on the street, per—was apparently too tempting. In June, he gave the cocaine to four others, who sold the drug and paid Breeding a cut. Authorities unraveled the scheme and charged all five with conspiracy to distribute a controlled substance. Breeding, found with a gun in his vehicle, also was charged with unlawfully transporting a firearm. Like his co-defendants, Breeding pleaded guilty to the drug charge on Wednesday. He now faces a maximum sentence of life in prison and a $4.25 million fine, and he's warning others not to follow his lead. "I would like to let the public know the dangers and what not to do if this situation comes about," says Breeding, who is to be sentenced Feb. 16. "This changed my life and way of thinking and also made me aware of some of the dangers that can be found off shore." It makes no difference whether he bought it in Mexico or found it near Floriduh. It is cocaine. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: Transfering pictures Dear Webby I have about 15000 digital photos, all titled and arranged in folders. I also have a new computer. Is there any way to get the pictures, titles and folders into the new computer easily. The program I tried just put the pictures on the CD, nothing else. Thanks for your help. Dave S. Dear David The easiest way is to network the computers. Just get a $4.95 crossover cable and set up a home network, or network via the router. Then you can drag entire folders including their sub-folders over to the new machine. Setting up the home network is easy. Just go into the network set-up wizard and hit Enter a whole bunch of times. There are only very few questions that you have to actually answer. Keep in mind that you will meet some resistance and will have to mess with sharing and permissions, but it's not a big deal. Open all permissions wide. You can always close them after the big move. Then simply drag the directory tree with the pictures to the new machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?". The little boy pondered for a minute and replied "Spinach ? Broccoli ?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Cornstarch, Vinegar and Water for Window Cleaning By Robyn [469 Posts, 873 Comments] A wonderful window cleaner can be made out of the following: Mix 2 cups of hot water with 1/4 cup of vinegar and a tablespoon of cornstarch. Mix very well, and the pour into a spray bottle. Use with crumpled up newspaper. The windows will shine!
- o what's "wrong" with this video? No cheating by reading the comments Thanks
____________________________________________________ During an arctic training exercise in Alaska a cold snap played havoc with vehicles and equipment. One harassed new battery commander was trying to cope with vehicles that wouldn't run and machinery that wouldn't work. He was wondering what else could go wrong when the door flew open and a soldier rushed in and announced, "Hey, captain, the northern lights are out! Exasperated and without looking, the captain barked, "Well, don't tell me! Go get the generator mechanic and have him fix the dang things!" ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
A vacationing golfer was out playing on a course that he had never played before. He hired a caddie from the pro shop to show him the layout of the course, and help him decide what shots to play. On the first tee, the golfer missed his shot, and it dribbled forward about 15 yards. He was slightly embarrassed, but determined to play a better second shot. He hit his second shot into the bordering fairway, and his third shot into a sand trap. By the time he holed out on this Par 4, he was 6 over par. The man turned to his caddie and said, "Well, I have never played this badly before!" To which the caddie replied, "What game are you playing, Sir ?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 30
1649 England's King Charles I was beheaded. 

1790 The first purpose-built lifeboat was launched on the River

1798 The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives took
place. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold fought on
the House floor. 

1847 The town of Yerba Buena was renamed San Francisco. 

1862 The U.S. Navy's first ironclad warship, the "Monitor", was

1889 Rudolph, crown prince of Austria, and his 17-year-old
mistress, Baroness Marie Vetsera, were found shot in his
hunting lodge at Mayerling, near Vienna. 

1894 C.B. King received a patent for the pneumatic hammer. 

1900 The British fighting the Boers in South Africa ask for a
larger army. 

1910 Work began on the first board-track automobile speedway.
The track was built in Playa del Ray, CA. 

1911 The first airplane rescue at sea was made by the destroyer
"Terry." Pilot James McCurdy was forced to land in the ocean
about 10 miles from Havana, Cuba. 

1933 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the first time.
The program ran for 2,956 episodes and ended in 1955. 

1933 Adolf Hitler was named the German Chancellor. 

1948 Indian political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi was
murdered by a Hindu extremist. 

1958 Yves Saint Laurent, at age 22, held his first major
fashion show in Paris. 

1958 The first two-way moving sidewalk was put in service at
Love Field in Dallas, TX. The length of the walkway through the
airport was 1,435 feet. 

1962 Two members of the "Flying Wallendas" high-wire act were
killed when their seven-person pyramid collapsed during a
performance in Detroit, MI. 

1964 January 30 The U.S. launched Ranger 6. The unmanned
spacecraft carried television cameras and was intentionally
crash-landed on the moon. The cameras did not return any
pictures to Earth. 

1968 The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched
surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals. 

1972 In Northern Ireland, British soldiers shot and killed
thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers. The day is known
as "Bloody Sunday." 

1979 The civilian government of Iran announced it had decided
to allow Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini to return. He had been
living in exile in France. 

1989 The U.S. embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan was closed. 

1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized the deployment of a
6,000-member U.N. peace-keeping contingent to assume security
responsibilities in Haiti from U.S. forces. 

1995 Researchers from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
announced that clinical trials had demonstrated the
effectiveness of the first preventative treatment for sickle
cell anaemia. 

1996 Gino Gallagher, the reputed leader of the Irish National
Liberation Army, was shot and killed as he queued for his
unemployment benefit. 

1997 A New Jersey judge ruled that the unborn child of a female
prisoner must have legal representation. He denied the prisoner
bail reduction to enable her to leave the jail and obtain an

2002 Slobodan Milosevic accused the U.N. war crimes tribunal of
an "evil and hostile attack" against him. Milosevic was
defending his actions during the Balkan wars. 

2002 Japan's last coal mine was closed. The closures were due
to high production costs and cheap imports. 

2005 In Iraq, the first free Parliamentary elections since 1958
took place. 

2017  smiled.

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Sneaky way to dump spam, that has your address forged into the sender field 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 29

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Former Tennessee college student allegedly stalked teen 
cheerleader before fatally shooting her.
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 28 in
1820 Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Never answer a critic, unless he's right. --- Bernard M. Baruch (1870 - 1965) It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. --- Evelyn Waugh Those who boast of their descent, brag on what they owe to others. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ginny for this one: After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him and got a woman. "Is Robert there?" I asked. "He's in the shower," she responded. "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up. When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Robert," he said. "You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed. "I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. "I feel tired all the time, my head hurts, I've got a sore butt, and I'm not sleeping. What is it, Doc?" The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find anything wrong. It must be the drinking." "Fair enough," replied the lush. "Happens to me too. I'll come back when you sober up." ______________________________________________________ From FB Murray Lundberg, Alaska ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Riley Gaul, 18, Maryville, Tennessee Former Tennessee college student allegedly stalked teen cheerleader before fatally shooting her. A former college football player stalked a high school cheerleader for weeks before fatally shooting her as she slept inside her east Tennessee home, newly filed charges claim. William Riley Gaul, 18, was charged Monday with first-degree murder, aggravated stalking, theft, tampering with evidence, reckless endangerment, employing a firearm during a dangerous felony, and felony murder, WVLT-TV reported. Gaul has been behind bars since November when 16-year-old Emma Walker was found fatally wounded in her Knoxville home. Authorities said the two had been in a relationship and that Walker had broken up with the former Maryville College student before she was killed. The indictment against Gaul says the teen was deeply distraught over her decision, Maryville’s The Daily Times reported. "She had chosen to move on," Walker’s aunt, Jenny Weldon, told The Knoxville News Sentinel in December of her niece’s decision. "He refused to accept it. He chose not to accept her wishes." Gaul allegedly proceeded to stalk Walker throughout October and November before he hid outside her home and fired a gun – one that he reportedly took from his grandfather into her bedroom on the morning of Nov. 23, The Daily Times reported citing a copy of the indictment. Walker was pronounced dead at the scene, authorities said. “He knew where she was when he shot through the house," Maj. Michael K. MacLean, of the Knox County Sheriff’s Office, previously told the News Sentinel. In a dark twist, in the hours after Walker’s death, Gaul took to social media to profess his love for the slain teen. He was arrested one day later when authorities said he tried to hide evidence in the shooting. The District Attorney’s office did not respond to a request for comment Wednesday. Gaul’s bond has been set at $1 million. His next court date is scheduled for Jan. 30, online records show. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dolores Re: Spam with my address as sender Dear Webby Lately I have been getting more and more spam with my address forged in as the sender. How can I stop that? I sometimes send mail to myself, so I can't just filter for the sender address. Help! Dolores Dear Dolores If you don't have a home network set up, set one up. Just use the Network Wizard. Give your machine a very colorful name, for example MORKY1. You don't really need any other machines, just set up your machine as first machine of a network. Then send an email to yourself and look at the header. In there you will now see the name that you have given your machine. With MailWasher it's easy to make a filter for that. If the FROM address CONTAINS dolores@.... AND the ENTIRE HEADER DOESN'T CONTAIN MORKY1 then delete the mail, automatically, without showing it in the list. After that, you will never again be bothered with spam that has your address forged in, but you can send memos to yourself all you want, and those will come through reliably. Sneaky, but it works! Have FUN! DearWebby
The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a pub in Dublin. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives three villages right down the river, but he occasionally comes in here around 6 PM. I'll page you if he shows up."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Healthy Breakfast Burritos By melissa [293 Posts, 425 Comments] Quick and easy recipe to make. Pack a nutritional punch you just can't get through a fast-food drive-through! Total Time: about 20 minutes Yield: 6 large burritos Source: Self Ingredients: 12 eggs 1 cup spinach, chopped 1/2 cup bell peppers, chopped 1 cup grape tomatoes, halved 6 large white mushrooms, sliced 1 1/2 cup Colby jack cheese, shredded 1 1/2 Tbsp butter 6 spinach tortillas salsa Steps: Using an electric hand mixer, blend your eggs thoroughly. Shred, slice and chop remaining ingredients, except the tortillas.:) Melt your butter in a large pan over medium/high heat. Healthy Breakfast Burritos - cooking the eggs and veggies Stir continuously for about 6 minutes, or until set. Sprinkle your cheese on top and let melt. Add a portion of this to a tortilla, top with salsa if desired. Enjoy!
- o what's "wrong" with this video? No cheating by reading the comments Thanks
____________________________________________________ Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception? A: They're the ones dancing with everyone but their wives. Q: What is a wedding tragedy? A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money. Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves? A: Buy her a nice ring. Q: What's long and hard and a Polish man gives it to his bride on their wedding night? A: A last name. ___________________________________________________
Awesome metal and river rock sculptures.
I was waiting to talk to the pharmacist at the local drug store about his web site when a sweet young lady from the neighborhood came in. She had just recently gotten married. She was looking at the men's toiletries. and the clerk asked her if she needed any assistance. I heard her say, "Well, I'm looking for some deodorant for my new husband , but I don't know what kind he uses." The clerk asked, "Is it the ball type?" I almost lost it when she responded, "Oh No ...It's for his under his arms."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 29
1820 Britain's King George III died insane at Windsor Castle. 

1848 Greenwich Mean Time was adopted by Scotland. 

1856 Britain's highest military decoration, the Victoria Cross,
was founded by Queen Victoria. 

1886 The first successful petrol-driven motorcar, built by Karl
Benz, was patented. Otto's car was earlier, but not patented.

1916 In World War I, Paris was bombed by German zeppelins for the
first time. 

1924 R. Taylor patented the ice cream cone rolling machine. 

1940 The W. Atlee Burpee Seed Company displayed the first
tetraploid flowers at the New York City Flower Show. 

1949 "The Newport News" was commissioned as the first air-
conditioned naval ship in Virginia. 

1958 Charles Starkweather was captured by police in Wyoming. 

1963 Britain was refused entry into the EEC. 

1979 U.S. President Carter formally welcomed Chinese Vice Premier
Deng Xiaoping to the White House. The visit followed the
establishment of diplomatic relations. 

1987 "Physician’s Weekly" announced that the smile on the face of
Leonardo DeVinci's Mona Lisa was caused by a "...facial paralysis
resulting from a swollen nerve behind the ear." 

1990 Joseph Hazelwood, the former skipper of the Exxon Valdez,
went on trial in Anchorage, AK, on charges that stemmed from
America's worst oil spill. Hazelwood was later acquitted of all
the major charges and was convicted of a misdemeanor. 

1996 French President Jacques Chirac announced the "definitive
end" to nuclear testing. 

1996 La Fenice, the 204 year old opera house in Venice, was
destroyed by fire. Arson was suspected. 

1997 America Online agreed to give refunds to frustrated
customers under threat of lawsuits across the country. Customers
were unable to log on after AOL offered a flat $19.95-a-month

1998 A bomb exploded at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, AL,
killing an off-duty policeman and severely wounding a nurse. Eric
Rudolph was charged with this bombing and three other attacks in

1999 Paris prosecutors announced the end of the investigation
into the accident that killed Britain's Princess Diana. Everybody
involved was drunk and stoned.

2001 In Indonesia, thousands of student protesters stormed the
parliament property and demanded that President Abdurrahman Wahid
quit due to his alleged involvement in two corruption scandals.
Wahid announced that he would not resign. 

2014 Archaeologists announced that they had uncovered what they
believed to be the oldest temple in Roman antiquity. The temple
was found at the Sant Omobono site in central Rome. 

2017  smiled.

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Best spam control 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 28

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Teacher had sex with student and then got blackmailed
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 28 in
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer 
Luther was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Of course the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you-- if you don't play, you can't win. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) "Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders." --- Nietzsche ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As an experiment, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are placed in separate rooms and left with a can of food, but no can opener. A day later, the rooms are opened, one-by-one. In the first room, the engineer is snoring, with a battered, opened and emptied can. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he beat the can to its failure point. In the second room, the physicist is seen mouthing equations, with a can popped open beside him. When asked, he explains that when he got hungry, he examined the stress points of the can, applied pressure, and "pop!" In the third room, the mathematician is found sweating, and mumbling to himself, "For tax purposes, let's assume that the can is open. For tax purposes, let's assume that the can is open. For..." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just a lazy old fart." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the latin term so I can tell my wife." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Thao Sandy Doan, 27, West Oak Cliff, Texas Teacher had sex with student and then got blackmailed A Texas middle school teacher charged with sexually assaulting an eighth-grade student may lose her freedom and nearly $30,000 police said she paid the teenager for his silence. Thao "Sandy" Doan, 27, a math teacher at Raul Quintanilla Senior Middle School in West Oak Cliff, was charged Friday with last year’s sexual assault of a student, who was 14 at the time. Doan was freed on $25,000 bond. According to an affidavit for a search warrant obtained by the Dallas Morning News, Doan was making massive blackmail payments to the teen to buy his silence. The scheme fell apart when the teen’s mother found a disturbing text message on her son’s cellphone. The Dallas Independent School District Police Department began investigating this month. “He received a message from the teacher that morning, saying, "I'll be at a meeting until 11 o’clock and I'll drop off the money to the address you told me to," the student’s mother, who asked not to be identified, told Fort Worth’s CBS 11 News. The mysterious message, along with the mother’s impression that her son suddenly had a lot of money, led her to suspect he was selling drugs, she said. According to the police affidavit, Doan admitted to investigators that she exchanged explicit text messages with the teen and confessed to sexually assaulting him on at least three occasions. She said the student extorted cash from her in exchange for his silence, the document says. Doan appeared to have used her savings and payday loans to give her victim roughly $28,000, according to police. "She did bad," the teen’s mother, referring to the teacher, told Fort Worth’s FOX 4 News. "And I’m not condoning what he did, because I know he was wrong at what he also did, because blackmailing is not acceptable." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Spam Control Dear Webby hello my friend, just wanted to tell you i'm still voting and ask a question. is there a spam blocker that will block spam before it get's to your comp. but at the same time be simple enough for a computer illerate like myself to use? thanks, daniel Dear Daniel Yes, there sure is. Just click on the FireTrust Mailwasher button on the right here in the Humor Letter. I have used it for about 16 years now and would be lost without it. I have tested others, but always keep coming back to MailWasher. The major difference is that MailWasher a) gets rid of the spam without downloading it b) is really easy for making precision filters d) is 100% reliable e) has a recycle bin for retrieving stuff accidentally deleted. What more do you want? Have FUN! DearWebby
Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, "Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?" Phil replies, "Yes Judge, that is correct." "And how do you explain this unusual conduct?" the judge inquires. Phil replies, "Your Honor, my Ma told me not to interrupt when a woman is speaking."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Valentine's Day on a Shoestring Budget Due to unforeseen circumstances, my budget for this year's Valentine's Day will be very small. I will not be able to afford expensive food or a lavish dessert, but that does not mean that I want to skimp on the celebrations. Valentine's Day on a Shoestring Budget By Benetta [277 Posts, 170 Comments] Due to unforeseen circumstances, my budget for this year's Valentine's Day will be very small. I will not be able to afford expensive food or a lavish dessert, but that does not mean that I want to skimp on the celebrations. A heart shaped butterscotch pudding dessert, on a plate. I decided to make a dessert with butterscotch instant pudding, but to add a touch to make it more special. Obviously I wanted to practice first, not leaving it for Valentine's Day, to see if it would look good enough to do the trick. I used six small heart-shaped silicone molds, which I first sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. I added a crust (made from crushed vanilla wafers and a little bit of melted butter) to the bottom of each mold. Then I filled each mold to the brim with instant pudding and dusted the top with grated chocolate. Into the freezer so that the molds would set. To serve, I dusted the plate with cocoa powder and icing sugar, turned the heart out on the plate and added a cherry on top. Serve immediately and voila! Perfect! I think this should do the trick, don't you think? Instead of expensive instant pudding you can use Birds Custard, just like your Great Gramma used. It is still available, though you might have to look on high shelves in the baking supplies isles. In addition to lower cost and better taste, you don't need to spray the molds with WD40 or PAM, just wet them with cold water. Birds Custard is neutral with a very slight Vanilla flavor. You can flavor it any way you want, chocolate, fruit, mint, malt, whatever turns your crank that day. From living in the bush I got used to using cans of condensed milk. One can of milk, one can of melted snow or water, 1 TBSP of honey, bring to just about boiling. In the meantime mix 1 heaping TBSP Bird Custard powder with just enough water to make a smooth paste. Wash and wet a bunch of small bowls and set them out for easy filling. Hammer or cut a square of Baker's Semi-Sweet chocolate to small bits and have it ready. When the milk is just about boiling, stir in the paste and keep stirring. It will thicken fast. When it makes blb-blb-blb sounds, swirl in the chocolate bits for a nice marble and pour the custard into the wet bowls. Let them cool and enjoy.
- the galaxy
____________________________________________________ How is playing the bagpipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don't have to be good to get everyone's attention. ___________________________________________________
Making soap the old fashioned way.
Bob and his wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged down. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. Bob readily accepted and minutes later the car was free. Bob looked at the muddy tracks around the puddle and remarked that a lot of cars must be getting stuck there. "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today, the farmer said" Bob looked around at the fields incredulously and asked the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? You must do it at night." "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole. My wife plows and disks the farm with the tractor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 28
1521 The Diet of Worms began, at which Protestant reformer Luther
was declared an outlaw by the Roman Catholic church. 

1547 England's King Henry VIII died. He was succeeded by his 9
year-old son, Edward VI. 

1788 The first British penal settlement in Australia was founded
at Botany Bay. 

1807 London's Pall Mall became the first street lit by gaslight. 

1871 France surrendered in the Franco-Prussian War. 

1878 The first telephone switchboard was installed in New Haven,

1909 The United States ended direct control over Cuba. 

1915 The Coast Guard was created by an act of the U.S. Congress
to fight contraband trade and aid distressed vessels at sea. 

1918 The Bolsheviks occupied Helsinki, Finland. 

1935 Iceland became the first country to introduce legalized

1945 During World War II, Allied supplies began reaching China
over the newly reopened Burma Road. 

1958 Construction began on first private thorium-uranium nuclear

1965 General Motors reported the biggest profit of any U.S.
company in history. 

1980 Six Americans who had fled the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran,
on November 4, 1979, left Iran using false Canadian diplomatic
passports. The Americans had been hidden at the Canadian embassy
in Tehran. 

1982 Italian anti-terrorism forces rescued U.S. Brigadier General
James L. Dozier 42 days after he had been kidnapped by the Red

1986 The U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded just after
takeoff. All seven of its crewmembers were killed. 

1998 In Manilla, Philippines, gunmen held at least 400 children
and teachers for several hours at an elementary school. 

1999 Ford Motor Company announced the purchase of Sweden's Volvo
AB for $6.45 billion. 

2002 Toys R Us Inc. announced that it would be closing 27 Toys R
Us stores and 37 Kids R Us stores in order to cut costs and boost
operating profits.

2017  smiled.

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Recipe site 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support 
for the troops!

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pregnant woman beaten by sister in weave dispute
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 26 in
1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators
 began. They were executed on January 31. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There are only two ways of telling the complete truth--anonymously and posthumously. --- Thomas Sowell (1930 - ) Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. --- Benjamin Franklin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of being happily married, the man had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that to prolong his life, he would have to stop having sex with his wife. The man and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family room downstairs to save them both from temptation. One night, after several weeks, he decided that life without sex wasn't worth living. So he headed upstairs. He met his wife on the staircase and said, "I was coming up to die." She laughed and replied, "And I was coming down to kill you!" They both outlived his doctor. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Bobby, a devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences on uncle Jack's farm. Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, with great joy..."It's a miracle!" "Not Really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aryanna Ieasha Reed, 25, Jacksonville, Floriduh Pregnant woman beaten by sister in weave dispute Angered that her one month pregnant sister refused to return a weave, a Florida woman allegedly pummeled her sibling, according to cops who arrested the accused assailant on a felony battery charge. Police allege that Aryanna Ieasha Reed, 25, battered her sister Tyteahni, 24, during a confrontation Saturday afternoon at the victim’s Jacksonville apartment. As detailed in a police report, Tyteahni told investigators that Reed had called her to demand the return of the hairpiece, which Reed had given to her sister as a Christmas present. When Tyteahni refused to return the weave, Aryanna “came to the victim’s apartment and confronted her.” Tyteahni again “refused to give it to her because she had it on her head and didn’t want to go to work without it on her head.” At that point, the sisters began scuffling, with Reed attempting to snatch the weave off Tyteahni’s head. Reed then allegedly began raining punches down on her sister, who is a month into her pregnancy. Police noted that while Tyteahni appeared uninjured, “She said that she was very sore and was going to the hospital to get her and her unborn baby checked out.” During a police interview, Tyteahni’s five-year-old daughter said that Reed came to the family’s home and “beat her mommy up.” Reed told cops that a “physical altercation” occurred in the apartment, but she could not remember the details. Reed said that she knew her sister was pregnant, and told cops that she was also pregnant. The report did not state if she was more than a month pregnant. The police report does not disclose why Reed sought the return of the Christmas present. Reed, pictured above, was charged with aggravated battery on a pregnant woman, a felony. Following her arrest, a cop noted, Reed became “very uncooperative” and “yelled at the top of her lungs, cursed me out, and accused me of being a racist.” Reed was released from custody Sunday after posting $35,000 bond. In 2009, Reed was arrested on a felony count for battering a pregnant woman. That charge was subsequently reduced to misdemeanor battery, for which Reed pleaded no contest. She was sentenced to probation and was ordered to perform 100 hours of community service and attend anger management classes. After subsequently violating her probation terms, Reed was sentenced to 20 days in the county jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Joyce Re: Recipe Site Dear Webby On reading the Tech Support and reading about Rons' query, I have a wonderful site that he might like to check out. It has 1,000's of recipes from all over the world, categorized into their countries. I find this site the most informative and it's free ! Joyce Dear Joyce That is indeed a very comprehensive site! I am sure a lot of readers will appreciate it. Thanks! Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Bonnie: Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges,but eventually you find a hairstyle you like.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Ink Stain on Laundered Clothing You know, I used to use hairspray, but a couple of years ago it wasn't working, and I did some internet research. I found on the "Heloise" website (don't know if you're too young to remember Heloise) that rubbing alcohol works better on today's inks and fabrics. I have had good success with it. I put some on before washing, let it sit for a minute or so, then just throw it in with the other clothes. Check to see that the stain is entirely gone before putting in the dryer. Good luck. By cindywaggoner
the Flying Frenchies
____________________________________________________ A woman meant to call a music store, but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme?'" she asked. "Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children." "Is that a record?" she inquired, puzzled in her turn. "I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get." ___________________________________________________
This guy transforms old buildings into works of art. Amazing talent!
Thanks to Judy for this one: My niece has 4 kids and was breast feeding the baby when #3 child, Jack wanted to climb up into her lap. During the process he was using his elbows to push his way up and hit her other breast so she said 'watch the elbows Jack'. When Grandmother came over later, Jack climbed up into her lap, patted her rather ample bosom and said "I like your elbows, Grandma". Needless to say, they will always be elbows to us from now on and Jack can look forward to a lot of teasing about it in the future.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 27
1606 The trial of Guy Fawkes and his fellow conspirators
began. They were executed on January 31. 

1880 Thomas Edison patented the electric incandescent

1900 In China, foreign diplomats in Peking, fearing a
revolt, demanded that the imperial government discipline
the Boxer rebels. 

1926 John Baird, a Scottish inventor, demonstrated a
pictorial transmission machine called television. 

1943 During World War II, the first all American air raid
against Germany took place when about 50 bombers attacked

1944 The Soviet Union announced that the two year German
siege of Leningrad had come to an end. 

1945 Soviet troops liberated the Nazi concentration camps
Auschwitz and Birkenau in Poland. 

1948 Wire Recording Corporation of America announced the
first magnetic tape recorder. The ‘Wireway’ machine with a
built-in oscillator sold for $149.50. 

1951 In the U.S., atomic testing in the Nevada desert
began as an Air Force plane dropped a one-kiloton bomb on
Frenchman Flats. 

1967 At Cape Kennedy, FL, astronauts Virgil I. "Gus"
Grissom, Edward H. White and Roger B. Chaffee died in a
flash fire during a test aboard their Apollo I spacecraft.

1967 More than 60 nations signed the Outer Space Treaty
which banned the orbiting of nuclear weapons and placing
weapons on celestial bodies or space stations. 

1973 The Vietnam peace accords were signed in Paris. 

1977 The Vatican reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's
ban on female priests. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted the 52 former American
hostages released by Iran at the White House. 

1984 Wayne Gretzky set a National Hockey League (NHL)
record for consecutive game scoring. He ended the streak
at 51 games. 

1985 The Coca-Cola Company, of Atlanta, GA, announced a
plan to sell its soft drinks in the Soviet Union. 

1992 Former world boxing champion Mike Tyson went on trial
for allegedly raping an 18-year-old contestant in the 1991
Miss Black America Contest. 

1996 Mahamane Ousmane, the first democratically elected
president of Niger, was overthrown by a military coup.
Colonel Ibrahim Bare Mainassara declared himself head of

1997 It was revealed that French national museums were
holding nearly 2,000 works of art stolen from Jews by the
Nazis during World War II. 

1998 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared on
NBC's "Today" show. She charged that the allegations
against her husband were the work of a "vast right-wing

1999 The U.S. Senate blocked dismissal of the impeachment
case against President Clinton and voted for new testimony
from Monica Lewinsky and two other witnesses. 

2002 A series of explosions occurred at a military dump in
Lagos, Nigeria. More than 1,000 people were killed in the
blast and in the attempt to escape. 

2003 Altria Group, Inc. became the name of the parent
company of Kraft Foods, Philip Morris USA, Philip Morris
International and Philip Morris Capital Corporation. 

2010 Steve Jobs unveiled the Apple iPad.

2017  smiled.

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Capable HTML mailer 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 26

Happy Australia Day!

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Connecticut man charged with breaking into Pet Hospital
and leaving his wallet and keys and blood at the scene
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 26 in
1500 Vicente Yáńez Pinzón discovered Brazil. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. --- Phyllis Diller I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days, I lost two weeks. --- Joe E. Lewis Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. --- Benjamin Franklin Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than light. --- C. V. R. Thompson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy I used to think I was just a regular person, but . . . I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist. I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist. I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now makes me a homophobic. I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel. I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes me a militant. I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the lame stream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary. I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right- wing extremist. I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist. I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant. Funny, it has all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years! I would like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through these abrupt, new found changes in my life and my thinking! I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to me so quickly! Please help me come to terms with the new me . . . because I'm just not sure who I am anymore! As if all this crap wasn't enough to deal with. I'm now afraid to go into either restroom! In God We Trust. ------------ Wendy, there is a name for people like you and me, because we do something, that those name callers don`t do: We are The Tax Payers. Because of that, feel free to walk into any restroom and moon anybody you want. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men. Mary: TELL me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions! Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask? Mary: I thought I asked legitimate, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Bruner 31, Stratford, Connecticut Connecticut man charged with breaking into Pet Hospital and leaving his wallet and keys and blood at the scene A Stratford man, traced by a blood trail, keys and a cell phone, has been charged with an October break-in at a veterinary hospital. Nicholas Bruner, 31, of Eureka Avenue, was arrested Saturday, Jan. 21, on the strength of a warrant charging him with third-degree burglary and second-degree criminal mischief. Stratford Police responded to a burglar alarm at the Pet Hospital of Stratford, 1185 Linden Ave., on Oct. 2, 2016. Officers found a broken window and blood on the windor frame, as well as a trail of blood on the floor, a set of keys and a cell phone. Police said the keys and phone were traced to Bruner. Bond was $10,000. Bruner is scheduled to appear in Bridgeport Superior Court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Kyle Re: Get a capable html e-mailer Dear Webby When I preview mail in MailWasher I have quite frequently seen the message: Get a capable html e-mailer in the top of a message. I use Legacy Eudora 6.5, and you simply can't get a more capable emailer than that. What is that all about? Thanks Kyle Dear Kyle Scammers frequently put that insto their scam to trick people into using an emailer, that will not protect them and cause problems for them, or simply an HTML based emailer, that will show their deceptive advertising pictures. Just make a filter to hide delete automatically if the body CONTAINS Get a capable html e-mailer and you will never see that garbage again. That`s all there is to it. I pity the few people, who don`t have MailWasher yet. Try the free version and see how easy it is! Have FUN! DearWebby
Two guys were discussing the prospects of "looming" retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies, the other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do. The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, "Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year." The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, "I'm one of eighteen kids in my family." The first fellow's eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain. "You see, my mother was hard of hearing. My Mom and Dad would go to bed at night, and my Dad would ask, 'Do you want to go to sleep, or what?' and my Mom would say, "What?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Cream Cheese Thumbprint Cookies By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] I had these at my friend Melanie's house, and they are definitely going to be one that we make every year! Yield: Approx. 32 cookies Source: All Recipes - Apricot Cream Cheese Thumbprints Ingredients: 1 1/2 cup butter, softened 1 1/2 cup sugar 1 pkg (8 oz) cream cheese, softened 2 eggs 1 large lemon (2 Tbsp. juice and 1 1/2 tsp. zest) 4 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 1 cup fruit preserves (I used Smucker's Simply Fruit Apricot and Red Raspberry) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a large bowl, soften cream cheese. Add sugar and softened butter. Mix thoroughly. Beat eggs, one at a time, into cream cheese mixture. Zest one large lemon. Add to cream cheese mixture. Squeeze 1/2 lemon for juice. Add 2 Tbsp. lemon juice and stir well. In a separate bowl, combine flour and baking powder. Add combined dry ingredients to cream cheese mixture in small amounts mixing well. Refrigerate for 1 hour, or until dough is firm. Scoop out 1 Tbsp. dough and roll into a ball in your hands. Continue until all the dough is shaped. Place the dough balls onto an ungreased cookie sheet, about 2 inches apart. Gently press your thumb into the center of each dough ball, leaving an indentation. Turn your thumb and press again for a more uniform cavity. Spoon 1/2 tsp. preserves into the center of each cookie. Place the cookie sheet into the oven and bake for 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Note: I prefer a softer cookie, so I do not bake them until the edges turn golden brown. Allow cookies to cool for a few minutes on the cookie sheet. Then place them on a wire rack to cool thoroughly. When packing them into a container, I recommend not stacking them directly on top of each other, as they will stick together.
24 1/2 mile jump
____________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie house when she got a phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Nine dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, it's nine dollars per seat." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." ___________________________________________________
Wonder what it would do if music from Mannheim Steamroller & Trans-Siberian Orchestra was played.
A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing, "Yes he did," the boy replied, "dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 26
1500 Vicente Yáńez Pinzón discovered Brazil. 

1736 Stanislaus I formally abdicated as King of Poland. 

1784 In a letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin
expressed unhappiness over the eagle as the symbol of
America. He wanted the symbol to be the turkey. 

1788 The first European settlers in Australia, led by
Captain Arthur Phillip, landed in what became known as
Sydney. The group had first settled at Botany Bay eight
days before. This day is celebrated as Australia Day. 

1827 Peru seceded from Colombia in protest against Simón
Bolívar's alleged tyranny. 

1841 Britain formally occupied Hong Kong, which the
Chinese had ceded to the British. 

1875 George F. Green patented the electric dental drill
for sawing, filing, dressing and polishing teeth. 

1905 The Cullinan diamond, at 3,106.75 carats, was found
by Captain Wells at the Premier Mine, near Pretoria, South

1911 Inventor Glenn H. Curtiss flew the first successful

1934 The Apollo Theatre opened in New York City. 

1939 In the Spanish Civil War, Franco's forces, with
Italian aid, took Barcelona. 

1942 The first American expeditionary force to go to
Europe during World War II went ashore in Northern

1950 India officially proclaimed itself a republic as
Rajendra Prasad took the oath of office as president. 

1950 The American Associated Insurance Companies, of St.
Louis, MO, issued the first baby sitter’s insurance

1961 U.S. President John F. Kennedy appointed Dr. Janet G.
Travell as the first woman to be the "personal physician
to the President". 

1962 The U.S. launched Ranger 3 to land scientific
instruments on the moon. The probe missed its target by
about 22,000 miles. 

1965 Hindi was made the official language of India. 

1969 California was declared a disaster area after two
days of flooding and mudslides. 

1972 In Hermsdorf, Czechoslovakia, a JAT Yugoslav Airlines
flight crashed after the detonation of a bomb in the
forward cargo hold killing 27 people. The bomb was
believed to have been placed on the plane by a Croatian
extremist group. Vesna Vulovic, a stewardess, survived
after falling 33,000 feet in the tail section. She broke
both legs and became paralyzed from the waist down. 

1979 The ‘Gizmo’ guitar synthesizer was first

1992 Russian president Boris Yeltsin announced that his
country would stop targeting U.S. cities with nuclear

1993 Former Czechoslovak President Vaclav Havel was
elected president of the new Czech Republic. 

1994 In Sydney, Australia, a young man lunged at and fired
two blank shots at Britain's Prince Charles. 

1996 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton testified
before a grand jury concerning the Whitewater probe. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton denied having an affair with a
former White House intern, saying "I did not have sexual
relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." 

1999 Saddam Hussein vowed revenge against the U.S. in
response to air-strikes that reportedly killed civilians.
The strikes were U.S. planes defending themselves against
anti-aircraft fire. 

2009 The Icelandic government and banking system
collapsed. Prime Minister Geir Haarde resigned. 

2010 It was announced that James Cameron's movie "Avatar"
had become the highest-grossing film worldwide. 

2017  smiled.

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How reliable is PayPal? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 25

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida nom arrested for threatening day care worker 
with machete
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 25 in
1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against
retainers and liveries to curb private warfare. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. --- George F. Will (1941 - ) It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. --- Krishnamurti ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Today in 2005 Drunk Avalanche and Rescue Escape Man peed way out of avalanche A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it. Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains. He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out. But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through. He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported. He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there." Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours. ------------------- If he had followed the guidelines and stayed with his car, instead of staggering off into the landscape, he would have been rescued the same day. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Nancy got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got lost or stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ashley Dailey, 25, Sunrise, Florida Florida nom arrested for threatening day care worker with machete A woman in Sunrise, Florida, is facing numerous charges after police said she attempted to kidnap her children from a day care center and threatened an employee with a machete. Police said Ashley Dailey, 25, showed up at Early Learning Preschool on Wednesday morning and attempted to remove her children from the center, local station WSVN TV reports. Dailey currently does not have custody of her two children and is under court order to stay away from the school, according to the Miami Herald. According to an arrest report obtained by the paper, Dailey’s mother currently has full custody of the kids because the suspects mental instability make her a danger to herself and her children. Police said Dailey tried to leave with her kids, but her mother, who was also at the preschool grabbed them away from her. When the preschool director told her to leave, Dailey allegedly smashed a computer monitor in anger before going to the parking lot. The director followed her to the car and threatened to call the police. That’s when Dailey allegedly grabbed a machete she had in her Toyota Camry and swung it around. Officers arrived on the scene as Dailey was driving away, according to WSVN. Police said she crashed into two cars before being stopped in the southbound lanes of Interstate 95. In order to take Dailey into custody, officers had to smash her car window. Dailey was booked on numerous charges including aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, kidnapping, leaving the scene of a crash, and reckless driving, according to the Sun Sentinel. She remains at the Broward County Jail on $14,500 bail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ulrike Re: How reliable is PayPal Dear Webby I read that it is the most convenient way to pay over the net, but how reliable and how safe is PayPal ? Thanks Ulrike Dear Ulrike PayPal is 100% reliable and safe. There are a few cautions to keep in mind though. Don't use PayPal for large payments at the last minute before going on vacation. Their autoresponders may decide to consider them suspicious, stop them and send emails to you to confirm them. If you are on a world cruise, or helping a relative or friend somewhere, or doing missionary or development work in a foreign country, you might come home to a disconnected phone, foreclosed mortgage, re-possessed car, and all kinds of problems, not the least of which is that you will be arguing with autoresponders at PayPal.. However, as long as you keep that in mind and make any large or important payments two weeks before you expect to be off the net for a while, everything is fine. They are just protecting you. The same goes if there is a dispute with a merchant. They will side with you, but will also listen to the merchant side. Naturally, you should read the small print when ordering stuff, especially free samples of supplements, that have in the small print that if you don`t want to automatically sign up for a lifetime of automatic charges, you have to return the free samples 10 days before you receive them. PayPal will still help you, but it won`t be as fast and easy as for example if you have a dispute with a reasonably legitimate vendor. I have dealt with PayPal since around 2000, and have never had a problem with them. Have FUN! DearWebby
A high school teacher arrived late for class to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of herself on the blackboard. Fuming, she asked the class, "Who is responsible for this atrocity?!" The class clown won tremendous prestige among his peers by answering, "I don't know for sure, but it's probably something hereditary."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Indoor Snowball Fight Kit By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] Supplies: Bernat baby blanket yarn (white) giant pom pom maker scissors Steps: Open one half of the pom pom maker and begin wrapping yarn around it, working your way from one end to the other. Continue wrapping until it is almost full and there is only a slight arched space in the middle. Then clip that half closed and repeat on the other half. Use scissors to cut through the center of the wrapped yarn, along the groove. Repeat on the other side. Cut a length of yarn and pull it firmly into the groove, bringing the ends together. Tie a tight knot. I like to wrap the yarn around a second time and tie another knot. Cut off the excess yarn. Unclip the two sides, then separate the pom pom maker to release the pom pom. Trim any long pieces of yarn, if necessary. Make as many snowballs as you like.
Evan at school
____________________________________________________ >Thanks to Darla for this one: OPPORTUNITY ! Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! TRY it now! Follow this simple procedure: 1. Open a new text or word document 2. Hold down the shift key. 3. Hit the 4 key four times really fast. ___________________________________________________
Wonder what it would do if music from Mannheim Steamroller & Trans-Siberian Orchestra was played.
After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large sack of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put her outside!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 25
1504 The English Parliament passed statutes against
retainers and liveries to curb private warfare. 

1533 England's King Henry VIII secretly married his second
wife Anne Boleyn. Boleyn later gave birth to Elizabeth I.

1579 The Treaty of Utrecht was signed marking the
beginning of the Dutch Republic. 

1799 Eliakim Spooner patented the seeding machine. 

1858 Mendelssohn’s "Wedding March" was presented for the
first time at the wedding of the daughter of Queen
Victoria and the Crown Prince of Prussia. 

1870 G.D. Dows patented the ornamental soda fountain. 

1881 Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell and others
signed an agreement to organize the Oriental Telephone

1890 The United Mine Workers of America was founded. 

1915 In New York, Alexander Graham Bell spoke to his
assistant in San Francisco, inaugurating the first
transcontinental telephone service. 

1924 The 1st Winter Olympic Games were inaugurated in
Chamonix in the French Alps. 

1946 The United Mine Workers rejoined the American
Federation of Labor. 

1959 In the U.S., American Airlines had the first
scheduled transcontinental flight of a Boeing 707.

1971 Maj. Gen. Idi Amin led a coup that deposed Milton
Obote and became president of Uganda. 

1981 The 52 Americans held hostage by Iran for 444 days
arrived in the United States and were reunited with their

1999 In Louisville, KY, man received the first hand
transplant in the United States. 

2011 A revolution began in Egypt with the demonstrations
that demanded the end of President Hosni Mubarak's rule. 

2017  smiled.

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Where is Spybot? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 24

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Colorado man made sexual advances 
to female officer while he was naked
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 24 in
1848 James W. Marshall discovered a gold nugget at
Sutter's Mill in northern California. The discovery led to
the gold rush of '49. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I don't understand how anybody can call themselves intelligent and not believe in evolution. Just look at statues of people from ancient Greece and Rome, in ancient times most people had no noses or arms. Today almost everybody has them. --- Timmy King The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A small boy walked into a police station one day and said, 'I've got three big brothers and we all live in the same room. My eldest brother has seven cats. Another one has three dogs and the third has a goat. I want you to do something about the smell.' 'Are the any windows in your room?' asked the officer. 'Yes, of course there are!' said the boy. 'Have you tried opening them?' 'What and lose all my pigeons....?' ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you?" Ed asked. "Not too good," Ted replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dock into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust." "That sounds terrible", Ed said. "What business were you in?" Ted replied, "I sold good luck charms." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Olson, 24, Aspen, Colorado Colorado man made sexual advances to female officer while he was naked Olson is accused of making "verbal sexual advances" to a female police officer — actions that definitely stood out, as it were, since at the time, the only thing he wore was a pair of ipod headphones. The story comes to us from the aspen times, which has been tracking olson's shenanigans for quite some time. In may 2015, the paper notes, he became acquainted with members of the aspen police department after being found sleeping in the stairwell of a tony restaurant, casa tua. Then, last july, cops found him dancing in the middle of castle creek road, allegedly under the influence of meth — a substance he was arrested for possessing the following month. But on sunday, september 11, police say he took things to the next level. At 6:15 p.M. That evening, officers were called to the spectacular limelight hotel on a report that olson was passed out on the establishment's front lawn. He was gone by the time they arrived. However, they managed to track him down a couple of blocks away, at which point he asked a sergeant on the scene for some meth. That was pretty standard behavior for olson, so the cops sent him on his way. But they had to take action just under two hours later, when they spotted him near the intersection of south monarch street and hopkins avenue. The reason was as plain as the penis on olson's body, which was in view because he'd ditched his clothes, reportedly in order to "feel free" as he listened to his ipod. At that point, a female officer told olson to get dressed — an order to which he allegedly responded by making what the times refers to as "verbal sexual advances toward the officer." In response, olson was given something to wear: a set of handcuffs. This choice of attire doesn't appear to have thrilled him much. He's accused of being uncooperative when the cops tried to put him into their patrol car, then refusing to leave it once they got to jail, where he was booked on suspicion of indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Westchester Animal Clinic Re: When I go to the Spybot site, there are a whole bunch of options. Which one is Spybot? I do not want to download ten things I do not need. Dear Westchester Animal If you go to the Spybot site via the link in the side menu of the Humor Letter, you get to a href=<""> There, under Home Users you see Spybot Free Edition That gets you to On that site, click on any of the mirrors and select Download Spybot Search and Destroy Windows Installer Or click on it here. Download Spybot Search and Destroy Windows Installer Have FUN! DearWebby
It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their daughter in a cap and gown, posed with her father. "I want a good picture, so try to make this look natural," she said."Susan, put your arm around your dad's shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have her put her hand in my pocket and on my wallet ?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Muffin Tin Spinach Frittatas By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] Steps: Preheated oven to 375 degree F. Tear baby spinach into small pieces. Place in a large bowl. Add ricotta, sour cream, and cheddar and Parmesan cheeses. Stir to combine well. In a small bowl, beat together eggs, milk, Tabasco, cumin, salt, and pepper. Add the egg mixture to the spinach mixture. Stir well. Spray a muffin tin liberally with cooking spray. Spoon the mixture equally into the muffin tins. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes, then remove from muffin tins.
The Streaker
____________________________________________________ A career military man, who had retired as a corporal, was telling the younger men how he handled officers during his years of service. "It didn't matter a hoot if he was a Major General, an Admiral, or the Commander-in- Chief. I always told those guys exactly where to get off. "Wow, you must have been something," the admiring young soldiers remarked. "What was your job in the service?" "Elevator operator in the Pentagon." ___________________________________________________
Art out of silverware.
What's the difference between education and experience? If you read the instructions, you have education. If you don't read the instructions, you WILL get experience.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 24
1848 James W. Marshall discovered a gold nugget at
Sutter's Mill in northern California. The discovery led to
the gold rush of '49. 

1899 Humphrey O’Sullivan patented the rubber heel. 

1908 In England, the first Boy Scout troop was organized
by Robert Baden-Powell. 

1916 Conscription was introduced in Britain. 

1922 Christian K. Nelson patented the Eskimo Pie. 

1924 The Russian city of St. Petersburg was renamed
Leningrad. The name has since been changed back to St.

1930 Primo Carnera made his American boxing debut by
knocking out Big Boy Patterson in one minute, ten seconds
of the opening round. 

1935 Krueger Brewing Company placed the first canned beer
on sale in Richmond, VA. 

1952 Vincent Massey was the first Canadian to be appointed
governor-general of Canada. 

1964 CBS-TV acquired the rights to televise the National
Football League’s 1964-1965 regular season. The move cost
CBS $14.1 million a year. The NFL stayed on CBS for 30

1965 Winston Churchill died at the age of 90. 

1972 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws that denied
welfare benefits to people who had resided in a state for
less than a year. 

1978 A nuclear-powered Soviet satellite plunged through
Earth's atmosphere and disintegrated. The radioactive
debris was scattered over parts of Canada's Northwest

1980 The United States announced intentions to sell arms
to China. 

1985 Penny Harrington became the first woman police chief
of a major city. She assumed the duties as head of the
Portland, Oregon, force of 940 officers and staff. 

1986 The Voyager 2 space probe flew past Uranus. The probe
came within 50,679 miles of the seventh planet of the
solar system. 

1987 In Lebanon, gunmen kidnapped educators Alann Steen,
Jesse Turner, Robert Polhill and Mitheleshwar Singh. They
were all later released. 

1989 Ted Bundy, the confessed serial killer, was put to
death in Floridas electric chair for the 1978 kidnap-
murder of 12-year-old Kimberly Leach. 

1990 Japan launched the first probe to be sent to the Moon
since 1976. A satellite was placed in lunar orbit. 

1996 Polish Premier Jozef Oleksy resigned due to
allegations that he had spied for Moscow. 

2001 In Colorado Springs, CO, Patrick Murphy Jr. and
Donald Newbury were taken into custody after a 5-minute
phone interview was granted with a TV station. They were
the remaining fugitives of the Texas 7.

2002 John Walker Lindh appeared in court for the first
time concerning the charges that he conspired to kill
Americans abroad and aided terrorist groups. Lindh had
been taken into custody by U.S. Marines in Afghanistan. 

2003 The U.S. Department of Homeland Security began
operations under Tom Ridge.

2017  smiled.

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Does a screensaver slow down a download? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 23

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Evil stepmother arrested in Pennsylvania for 
torturing 4 year old stepp-son
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 23 in
1556 An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, 
was thought to have killed about 830,000 people.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. --- Cyril Connolly ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there, waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it." "That's right, Ma'am," one of them said. "That's why each one of us needs your autograph." And they held out their ticket pads for her to sign. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The Rev. Billy Graham tells of at time early in his career when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, Rev. Graham thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get . to Heaven." "I don't think I'll be there," the boy said. "You don't even know your way to the post office." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this one: This one bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Danielle L. Miller, 31, Providence, Pennsylvania Evil stepmother arrested in Pennsylvania for torturing 4 year old stepp-son A stepmom in Pennsylvania has been arrested relating to claims she abused her 4-year-old stepson by beating and burning the toddler and feeding him adult laxatives and hot sauce. 31-year-old Danielle L. Miller of Providence Township, Pennsylvania is still in jail on a $300,000 bond. Nathan P. Duke, the boy's dad, is also incarcerated on $100,000 bail. He is charged with failing to stop or report the abuse, which may have been ongoing for as long as a year. The investigation began when a family member showed law enforcement pictures of the boy with bruises and injuries across his body. Medical experts determined most of the injuries were intentionally inflicted or suspicious burns. The criminal complaint noted the injuries were "too numerous to be explained by normal childhood activity and clearly indicative of inflicted trauma." One witness claimed she saw Miller verbally and physically abuse the boy every day for about three months. Miller made the toddler eat poop beans,ť which contained adult laxatives and then pour hot sauce in his mouth, and not give him water for 15 minutes. The witness also claimed Miller would play mermaid, that is, wrapping up the legs with a sheet and duct tape and confining him, and the boy also wore soiled pull-ups for hours at a time. It also appears that the stepmom locked the boy in a padded room, a closet, and then tortured him by scratching the wall and saying the "rats would come and get him." Miller also regularly cursed at the toddler, yelling: "I'm gonna kick your ass. You are a f–ing pig, You nasty ass hole,ť and You have a stupid, f–ing, ugly faace." Charges of aggravated assault, false imprisonment, unlawful restraint, endangering the welfare of a child, terroristic threats, reckless endangerment, and harassment have been filed against Miller. Duke faces charges of conspiracy to commit aggravated assault and endangering the welfare of a child, because he knew about it and did not stop or report the abuse. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Corey Re: Does a screensaver slow down a download? Dear Webby, Does a screensaver slow down a long download ? Corey Dear Corey If you use one of the standard screensavers, that come with Windows, except for the slide show, then they won't slow down a download. If you use third party screensavers, you will have to test them and see. Most don't affect downloads, but some, especially slide show type screensavers, do access the hard drive and could slow down your downloads. Have FUN! DearWebby
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, ", can you spell 'before'?" stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent , now can you use it in a sentence?" says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Cheese Lover's Treat By likekinds [238 Posts, 1,102 Comments] I use to make a wicked baked macaroni and cheese, with two kinds of cheese for the macaroni and a third for the topping. On one occasion I baked that and an apple cake based on a carrot cake recipe, that Mama took to a church social. When I picked her up, I asked how the macaroni and cake tasted. She said, "I don't know. It was all gone before I got to taste either". I don't cook like that anymore. Anything I cook now is usually quick and easy. When I did cook macaroni, I let the cheese topping get a little brown and crusty around the edges. To me, that was the best part of the dish. With that in mind, I contrived a little snack I can't get enough of; simple, quick and delicious. Sooo good, people. And if you were doing this for breakfast, you could put scrambled eggs atop the snack once it has finished cooking. Much, much better than scrambled eggs with the cheese just melted on top or mixed in when scrambling. Go for it, y'all! Steps: Cut French bread into about 3/4 to an inch slices. Put a thin film of mayonnaise on one side of each. Put the slices in a non stick pan greased with melted butter, mayo side up. Then sprinkle a hefty layer of finely grated cheddar cheese on top. Watch and check closely. When the bread has toasted to a nice golden brown on the bottom, flip it over. With the cheese on the bottom, you have to work quickly. In less than a minute, the cheese will turn a rich, crusty brown, just like on the macaroni. Immediately remove from the pan onto a ready plate.
" target="_blank" >"> doggie ad
____________________________________________________ A Jewish lady goes into a furniture store owned by a Jewish man. She picks out a lamp she likes and brings it to the counter. She finds out the price is $69.95 and says, "Oy, down the street at Goldstein's these are only $49.95!" The owner asks why she doesn't buy it from Goldstein's, and she says because they just ran out of them. The owner then says, "Ha! Their price I beat! They're only $29.95 when I'm out of them!" ___________________________________________________
Sneaker art
A police car pulls up in front of Aunt Gertrude's house, and Uncle Leo gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home. "Oh Leo", said Aunt Gertrude, "You've been going to that park for over 30 years! How could you get lost?" Leaning close to Aunt Gertrude, so that the policeman couldn't hear, Uncle Leo whispered, "I wasn't lost. I was just too tired to walk home."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 23
1556 An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought
to have killed about 830,000 people. 

1571 The Royal Exchange in London, founded by financier
Thomas Gresham, was opened by Queen Elizabeth I. 

1789 Georgetown College was established as the first
Catholic college in the U.S. The school is in Washington,

1920 The Dutch government refused the demands from the
Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. 

1937 In Moscow, seventeen people went on trial during
Josef Stalin's "Great Purge." 

1943 Duke Ellington and the band played for a black-tie
crowd at Carnegie Hall in New York City for the first

1950 The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming
Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. 

1960 The U.S. Navy bathyscaphe Trieste descended to a
record depth of 35,820 feet (10,750 meters) in the Pacific

1968 North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo,
charging it had intruded into the nation's territorial
waters on a spying mission. The crew was released 11
months later. They kept the ship.

1971 In Prospect Creek Camp, AK, the lowest temperature
ever recorded in the U.S. was reported as minus 80

1973 U.S. President Nixon announced that an accord had
been reached to end the Vietnam War. 

1978 Sweden banned aerosol sprays because of damage to
environment. They were the first country to do so. 

1985 O.J. Simpson became the first Heisman Trophy winner
to be elected to pro football’s Hall of Fame in Canton,

1989 Surrealist artist Salvador Dali died in Spain at age

1997 A judge in Fairfax, VA, sentenced Mir Aimal Kasi to
death for an assault rifle attack outside the CIA
headquarters in 1993 that killed two men and wounded three
other people. 

1997 A British woman received a record Ł186,000 damages
for Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). 

2001 A van used by the remaining two fugitives of the
"Texas 7" was recovered in Colorado Springs, CO. A few
hours later police surrounded a hotel where the convicts
were hiding. Patrick Murphy Jr. and Donald Newbury were
taken into custody the next morning without incident. 

2002 John Walker Lindh returned to the U.S. under FBI
custody. Lindh was charged with conspiring to kill U.S.
citizens, providing support to terrorists and engaging in
prohibited transactions with the Taliban while a member of
the al-Quaida terrorist organization in Afghanistan. 

2003 North Korea announced that it would consider
sanctions an act of war for North Korea's reinstatement of
its nuclear program.

2017  smiled.

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What is my IP number  

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 22

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Mother Beat Up Child’s Assistant Principal
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 22 in
1666 Shah Jahan, a descendant of Genghis Khan and Timur,
died at the age of 74. He was the Mongol emperor of India
that built the Taj Mahal as a mausoleum for his wife
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There are more fools in the world than there are people. --- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. --- Richard Bach A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing." --- Sir Arnold Bax "Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses." ---Lord Dewar ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "A curiosity-breeding little joker" is how Mark Twain described the typewriter. His Life on the Mississippi (1883) was the first book-length manuscript published that had been written on one of the new machines. It's rumored that a Twain's descendant wrote the first novel on a windows based computer. After losing a chapter when the machine crashed, she is said to have called the computer a #@*#@$ little *$%#@. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss!. After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam. That was the good old days. Nowadays "Discuss!" would be considered an order, and as such the proper reply for a philosophy major would be: "Do you want fries with that?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carisa Rhoads, 37, Frackville, Pennsylvania Mother Beat Up Child’s Assistant Principal Police in Schuylkill County say a woman attacked her child's assistant principal. Carisa Rhoads, 37, of Frackville was allegedly arguing with Janel Hansbury, the assistant principal at North Schuylkill Elementary, at the Schuylkill County Courthouse on Monday morning. According to police, Hansbury was called by Children and Youth to testify at a hearing regarding Rhoads's child. Hansbury told officers Rhoads threw her to the ground, punched her, and kicked her in the parking lot. A Children and Youth worker told police Rhoads came into her office afterwards and admitted to beating up Hansbury in the parking lot. Rhoads was charged with aggravated assault, simple assault, harassment by physical contact, disorderly conduct, and retaliation against witness or victim. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vivian Re: IP number Dear Webby, How can I tell what IP number I am using to get on-line? Thanks Vivian Dear Vivian Just go to That will instantly tell you, without any fuss, what your IP is. It will show something like this: You are visiting from IP Address: Have FUN! DearWebby
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little three-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing. "What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father. Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us bwought up in a good and regwitches home, but, but, but I don' wanna go to a witches home, I wanna stay with YOU and MOM!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Keeping Your Windshield Free of Snow and Ice Use an old set of car floor mats to cover your car's windshield in the evening and you won't have any ice to scrape in the morning. Carpet remnants also work.
Friday arrested Spock! :D
____________________________________________________ Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands. They are called "Dick Taters." Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called "Speck Taters." Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called "Commie Taters." Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet. They are called "Aggie Taters." There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help. They are called, "Hezzie Taters." Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not. They are called "Emma Taters." Then there are those who love and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called "SWEET TATERS." ___________________________________________________
Sneaker art
An engineering student, a physics student, and a mathematics student were each given $150 dollars and were told to use that money to find out exactly how tall a particular hotel was. All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this. The physics student went out, gathered a few friends, purchased some stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, and a calculator. He had the friends time the drop of ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out the height from the time it took for the bearings to accelerate from rest until they impacted with the sidewalk. The math student purchased a protractor, plumb line, tripod and measuring tape. She waited until the sun was going down, then used her equipment to measure the length of the shadow, and find the angle the building's roof made from the ground. Then she used trigonometry to figure out the height of the building. Of course, with all that was involved in getting this experiment done, they were up plenty late studying for exams in other courses. These two students bumped into the engineering student the next day, who looked quite refreshed. When asked what he did to find the height of the building he replied, "Well, I walked up to the bell hop, gave him 10 bucks, asked him how tall the hotel was, and went inside for happy hour!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 22

1666 Shah Jahan, a descendant of Genghis Khan and Timur,
died at the age of 74. He was the Mongol emperor of India
that built the Taj Mahal as a mausoleum for his wife

1771 The Falkland Islands were ceded to Britain by Spain. 

1824 The Asante army crushed British troops in the Gold

1874 A patent was issued to Samuel W. Francis for the

1879 British troops were massacred by the Zulus at

1889 The Columbia Phonograph Company was formed in
Washington, DC. 

1895 The National Association of Manufacturers was
organized in Cincinnati, OH. 

1900 Off of South Africa, the British released the German
steamer Herzog, which had been seized on January 6. 

1901 Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for
nearly 64 years. Edward VII, her son, succeeded her. 

1903 The Hay-Herrán Treaty was signed by United States
Secretary of State John M. Hay and Colombian Chargé Dr.
Tomás Herrán. The treaty granted the United States rights
to the land proposed for the Panama Canal. 

1905 Insurgent workers were fired on in St Petersburg,
Russia, resulting in "Bloody Sunday." 500 people were

1917 U.S. President Wilson pleaded for an end to war in
Europe, calling for "peace without victory." America
entered the war the following April. 

1930 In New York, excavation began for the Empire State

1941 Britain captured Tobruk from German forces. 

1944 Allied forces began landing at Anzio, Italy, during
World War II. 

1951 Fidel Castro was ejected from a Winter League
baseball game after hitting a batter. He later gave up
baseball for politics. 

1957 Suspected "Mad Bomber" was arrested in Waterbury, CT.
George P. Metesky was accused of planting more than 30
explosive devices in the New York City area. 

1957 The Israeli army withdrew from the Sinai. They had
invaded Egypt on October 29, 1956. 

1962 Cuba's membership in the Organization of American
States (OAS) was suspended. 

1970 The first regularly scheduled commercial flight of
the Boeing 747 began in New York City and ended in London
about 6 1/2 hours later. 

1972 The United Kingdom, the Irish Republic, and Denmark
joined the EEC. 

1973 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down state laws that
had been restricting abortions during the first six months
of pregnancy. The case (Roe vs. Wade) legalized abortion. 

1984 Apple introduced the Macintosh during the third
quarter of Super Bowl XVIII. 

1987 Phil Donahue became the first talk show host to tape
a show from inside the Soviet Union. The shows were shown
later in the year. 

1992 Rebel soldiers seized the national radio station in
Kinshasa, Zaire's capital, and broadcast a demand for the
government's resignation. 

1995 Two Palestinian suicide bombers from the Gaza Strip
detonated powerful explosives at a military transit point
in central Israel, killing 19 Israelis. 

1998 Theodore Kaczynski pled guilty to federal charges for
his role as the Unabomber. He agreed to life in prison
without parole. 

2000 Elian Gonzalez's grandmothers met privately with U.S.
Attorney General Janet Reno as they appealed for help in
removing the boy from his Florida relatives and reuniting
him with his father in Cuba. 

2001 Former National Football League (NFL) player Rae
Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 18 years and 11 months
in prison for his role in the 1999 shooting death of his
pregnant girlfriend, Cherica Adams. Adams died a month
later from her wounds. The baby survived and lives with
the victim's mother. 

2001 Acting on a tip, authorities captured four of the
"Texas 7" in Woodland Park, CO, at a convenience store. A
fifth convict killed himself inside a motor home. 

2002 In Calcutta, India, Heavily armed gunmen attacked the
U.S. government cultural center. Five police officers were
killed and twenty others, including one pedestrian and one
private security guard, were wounded. 

2002 Lawyers suing Enron Corp. asked a court to prevent
further shredding of documents due to the pending federal

2002 announced that it had posted its first net
profit in the fourth quarter (quarter ending December 31,

2002 AOL Time Warner filed suit against Microsoft in
federal court seeking damages for harm done to AOL's
Netscape Internet Browser when Microsoft began giving away
its competing browser. 

2002 Kmart Corp. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy making it
the largest retailer in history to seek legal protection
from its creditors. 

2003 It was reported that scientists in China had found
fossilized remains of a dinosaur with four feathered

2017  smiled.

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Should you dump McAfee? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 21

Thank you, Norm!

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Michigan drunk arrested 14th time for drunk driving
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 21 in
1793 During the French Revolution, King Louis XVI was
executed on the guillotine. He had been condemned for
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. --- Lynda Barry "Never put off till tomorrow what you can get someone else to do today." --- Douglas Ottati ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Beachbum for this one: One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.' Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her. The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?" A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right @#$% NOW!" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead." "How come?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: From my son Mikel at Hillsboro Beach FL ( Town just north of Ft Lauderdale). ~~ Lillemor ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zenon Bialokur, 54, Macomb County, Michigan Michigan drunk arrested 14th time for drunk driving A Michigan man whose rap sheet includes 13 convictions for drunk driving has again been arrested for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. Zenon Bialokur, 54, was nabbed Friday after a sheriff’s deputy pulled him over for running a traffic signal. “Upon talking to the driver, the deputy determined that he was intoxicated,” police report. A subsequent records check revealed Bialokur’s 13 drunk driving convictions, which date back to 1998. Additionally, Bialokur’s record includes ten convictions for driving with a suspended license and 12 “current suspensions of his driving privilege.” Bialokur was charged with felony drunk driving, driving without a license, and possessing “open intoxicants” in a motor vehicle. At Bialokur’s arraignment yesterday, a judge set his bond at $50,000. Bialokur is locked up in the Macomb County jail. His car, a 1998 Pontiac Grand Prix, has been impounded by police. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Should McAfee be dumped? Dear Webby, Dear Webby. In regard to your comments below. I'm currently running (based upon your advice over the years) McAfee Pro and Malwarebytes. Malware as you know came out with an update on January 17th. I installed the update on my W7 system. Both of these are currently running on my PC. Should I un install the McAfee? I have about 160 days remaining on current subscription. How does the average individual know what is the best protection? You have been an invaluable source of knowledge in the past. What about the future? Thank you for educating those of us that have been subscribers for many years. Frank PS...Ark City barely escaped the hugh ice storm over the weekend because our temps hovered at 33° F for two days. We remember the storm in 2002 that left us without power for 7-10 days. Dear Frank Yes, at one time you needed both, but Malwarebytes has been improved sufficiently, so that you don't need both programs anymore. When neither I nor the chat techs of Mcafee could get it to work on my W7-Pro, they suggested to just put MalwareBytes on, that it was all I needed. Well, I was going to do that anyway, right after setting up McAfee. So I dumped the not working McAfee and installed Malwarebytes. No more problems. You don't have to dump McAfee as long as it works and doesn't cause problems. Just make sure it is not on Auto- Renew. I remember that 2002 ice storm that broke trees and bushes and power lines in Ark City. I got there just after that. Have FUN! DearWebby
As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was re- sponsible for returning equipment to the proper owners before the start of the next season. When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Chicken Bacon Surprise By sharon6345 [34 Posts, 90 Comments] I was low on everything and figured what the heck. Well, bacon surprise came out fantastic. The seasoning and flavors married together well. Total Time: 1 hour Yield: 4 Source: myself Ingredients: 1 can cream of chicken soup 1 cup water 1 lb chicken, any kind you like. I used chicken breast. 1 onion, chopped 1/4 lb bacon, cut 1 pinch seasoning salt 1 pinch other spices you choose 2 cups cooked rice Steps: In your pot add a can of creamed chicken soup. Add a can of water and rinse the can too. Chop onion and cut up some bacon. Season your pot with your favorite seasoning salt. Add onion and bacon to the pot. In separate pan prepare rice according to directions. Let it all cook till the chicken falls a part. Eat and be happy.
The cute new teacher :D
____________________________________________________ Kyle and Justin were about to eat with the baby sitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" Daddy's not home," the baby sitter replied. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss." Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you sit over there in Mommy's chair!" ____________________________________________________
If you like fog.....enjoy.
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter -- haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 21

1793 During the French Revolution, King Louis XVI was
executed on the guillotine. He had been condemned for

1812 The Y-bridge in Zanesville, OH, was approved for

1853 Dr. Russell L. Hawes patented the envelope folding

1861 The future president of the Confederacy, Jefferson
Davis of Mississippi, resigned from the U.S. Senate. Four
other Southerners also resigned. 

1865 An oil well was drilled by torpedoes for the first

1900 Canadian troops set sail to fight in South Africa.
The Boers had attacked Ladysmith on January 8, 1900. 

1911 The first Monte Carlo car rally was held. Seven days
later it was won by Henri Rougier. 

1915 The first Kiwanis club was formed in Detroit, MI. 

1924 Soviet leader Vladimir Ilyich Lenin died. Joseph
Stalin began a purge of his rivals for the leadership of
the Soviet Union. 

1927 The first opera broadcast over a national radio
network was presented in Chicago, IL. The opera was

1954 The Nautilus was launched in Groton, CT. It was the
first atomic-powered submarine. U.S. First Lady Mamie
Eisenhower broke the traditional bottle of champagne
across the bow. 

1954 The gas turbine automobile was introduced in New York

1970 The Boeing 747 made its first commercial flight from
New York to London for Pan American. 

1970 ABC-TV presented "The Johnny Cash Show" in prime

1976 The French Concorde SST aircraft began regular
commercial service for Air France and British Airways. 

1977 U.S. President Carter pardoned almost all Vietnam War
draft evaders. 

1980 Gold was valued at $850 an ounce. 

1986 Former major-league player, Randy Bass, became the
highest-paid baseball player in Japanese history. Bass
signed a three-year contract for $3.25 million. He played
for the Hanshin Tigers. 

1994 A jury in Manassas, VA, acquitted Lorena Bobbitt by
reason of temporary insanity of maliciously wounding
(severing his penis) her husband John. She accused him of
sexually assaulting her. 

1997 Newt Gingrich was fined as the U.S. House of
Representatvies voted for first time in history to
discipline its leader for ethical misconduct. 

1998 A former White House intern said on tape that she had
an affair with U.S. President Clinton. 

1999 The U.S. Coast Guard intercepted a ship headed for
Houston, TX, that had over 9,500 pounds of cocaine aboard.
It was one of the largest drug busts in U.S. history. 

2002 In Goma, Congo, about fifty people were killed when
lava flow ignited a gas station. The people killed were
trying to steal fuel from elevated tanks. The eruption of
Mount Nyiragongo began on January 17, 2002. 

2002 In London, a 17th century book by Capt. John Smith,
founder of the English settlement at Jamestown, was sold
at auction for $48,800. "The General History of Virginia,
New England and the Summer Isles" was published in 1632. 

2003 It was announced by the U.S. Census Bureau that
estimates showed that the Hispanic population had passed
the black population for the first time.

2017  smiled.

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Do you need BOTH Malwarebytes AND McAfee? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
South Dallas woman arrested after she ran down man 
after domestic dispute
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 20 in
1265 The first English parliament met in Westminster 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. --- Alfred A. Knopf On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. --- George Orwell (1903 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to J.Falk for this story: "Dear Lord", the pastor began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you we are but dust. . " He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, what is 'butt dust' ?" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Mary was married to Charlie, a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. "That," he declared, "is woman's work!" One evening, Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charlie had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. Mary said, "Charlie even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charlie was too tired." ______________________________________________________ Rhodesia Falls ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lakinta Cosby, 39, Dallas, Texas South Dallas woman arrested after she ran down man after domestic dispute On Saturday afternoon, a white SUV plowed into Sherron Berry, 36, on a Martin Luther King Boulevard sidewalk in South Dallas. Police arriving on the scene a little after 12:30 p.m. quickly discovered from witnesses that the deadly collision was no accident, as video from the scene would make clear. The white SUV pauses in the middle lane as Berry begins walking in the opposite direction. The SUV flips a U-turn and begins following Berry slowly. As Berry walks down the sidewalk, the SUV appears to speed up, before running onto the sidewalk. Berry runs, the SUV close on his heels. The collision itself is obscured by a building. Cosby had driven up and down the street several times until she saw Berry, police said. She dragged him under her car for about a city block, according to an arrest warrant affidavit. Earlier Saturday, Cosby and Berry were involved in a domestic altercation at a home on Pennsylvania Avenue, police said. DPD put out a request for information on its blog Saturday afternoon. By Saturday night, they received the tip they needed. The car that hit Berry was parked outside 2109 Prichard Street. Officers drove to Prichard Lane late Saturday after receiving a tip that the SUV seen in the video was there. Cosby arrived in a blue BMW. She stepped out, held up her hands and confessed. Eventually, Lakinta Cosby arrived at the house. DPD gang unit officers arrested her. Later, according to DPD, she confessed that she ran Berry over after a domestic dispute. She has been charged with murder. Cosby, currently in Dallas County Jail on $100,000 bond, has a long, if nonviolent history with DPD. According to county records, she has previously been convicted of giving a cop a fake ID, driving without a license, theft and prostitution. Just BL&M ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Miriam Re: Malwarebytes AND Mcafee? Dear Webby, Dear Webby. Do you recommend both McAfee and Malewarebytes for Windows 7? Miriam Dear Miriam All you need is Malwarebytes. Save your money. And time too. McAfee slows things down and can be a real nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks, was shock proof to 60 G, could be driven over and even dropped from a plane. Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill will ruin the keyboard !"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Individual Chocolate Cakes By Becky Miles [100 Posts, 158 Comments] This is taken from Nigella Lawson's recipe for Chocohotopots. (I made a few changes). They are delicious and quick to whip up. My picky kids can't wait for these to come out of the oven. Definitely a keeper! Total Time: 10 minutes to make, 20-25 minutes to cook Yield: 4 cakes Source: Nigella Lawson's Chocohotopots Ingredients: 1 stick of butter (8 tablespoons) 4 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped (I just use half a cup of chocolate chips) 2 eggs 3/4 cup sugar 3 Tbsp flour 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp of instant coffee dissolved in 1 teaspoon of hot water Steps: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Butter 4 ramekins with an extra tablespoon of butter. Melt chocolate and butter. Cool a little (a few minutes). In separate bowl, combine eggs, sugar, flour, vanilla, salt, and dissolved coffee. Add chocolate mixture to the bowl. Stir til combined. Pour into ramekins. The original recipe says to bake for 20 minutes. But, it's a little too gooey and under-cooked to serve to my kids. I bake them for 25-28 minutes, til there's no jiggle and the cakes are more set. When the cakes come out, you can add some chocolate to the middle or if you like to live dangerously, a spoonful of Nutella. Ice cream is really good on it, too. Seems like an awful lot of work compared to "Chocolate Cake in a cup". You can put all the ingredients for "Chocolate Cake in a cup" into ziplock baggies, while you are watching and waiting for something, and have a shoebox full of magic ready and waiting for whenever you need one minute cakes. Kids really oooh and aaah when they see the cake rise out of the cup, and then settle back down. That is pure MAGIC! There are lots of cake in a cup recipes on the net. Mine is glued to the inside of a cabinet door in the kitchen. Have FUN! DearWebby
I Remember You
____________________________________________________ Another excuse for a student's being late for school: Arnie came into the office looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. "Our chickens have been disappearing." He said. "And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o'clock, Pa got me and Ol' Blue, our dog, and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on." He went on. "Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol' Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn't expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we've been up a-cleanin' and a-pluckin' more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school." ____________________________________________________
Wonder what it would do if Mannheim Steamroller & Trans-Siberian Orchestra music was played.
A grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered, "The one I feed."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 20
1265 The first English parliament met in Westminster

1839 Chile defeated a confederation of Peru and Bolivia
in the Battle of Yungay. 

1841 The island of Hong Kong was ceded to Great Britain.
It returned to Chinese control in July 1997. 

1885 The roller coaster was patented by L.A. Thompson. 

1886 The Mersey Railway Tunnel was officially opened by
the Prince of Wales. 

1887 The U.S. Senate approved an agreement to lease Pearl
Harbor in Hawaii as a naval base. 

1891 James Hogg took office as the first native-born
governor of Texas. 

1929 The movie "In Old Arizona" was released. The film
was the first full-length talking film to be filmed

1942 Nazi officials held the Wannsee conference, during
which they arrived at their "final solution" that called
for exterminating Europe's Jews. 

1944 The British RAF dropped 2,300 tons of bombs on

1952 In Juarez, Mexico, Patricia McCormick debuted as the
first professional woman bullfighter from the United

1953 "Studio One" became the first television show to be
transmitted from the United States to Canada. 

1954 The National Negro Network was formed on this date.
Forty radio stations were charter members of the network.

1972 The number of unemployed in Britain exceeded 1

1981 Iran released 52 Americans that had been held
hostage for 444 days. The hostages were flown to Algeria
and then to a U.S. base in Wiesbaden, West Germany. The
release occurred minutes after the U.S. presidency had
passed from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan. They did not
want to mess with Reagan.

1985 The most-watched Super Bowl game in history was seen
by an estimated 115.9 million people. The San Francisco
49ers defeated the Miami Dolphins, 38-16. Super Bowl XIX
marked the first time that TV commercials sold for a
million dollars a minute. 

1986 Britain and France announced their plans to build
the Channel Tunnel. 

1986 New footage of the 1931 "Frankenstein" was found.
The footage was originally deleted because it was
considered to be too shocking. 

1987 Anglican Church envoy Terry Waite was kidnapped in
Beirut, Lebanon. He was there attempting to negotiate the
release of Western hostages. He was not freed until
November 1991. 

1994 Shannon Faulkner became the first woman to attend
classes at The Citadel in South Carolina. Faulkner joined
the cadet corps in August 1995 under court order but soon
dropped out. 

1996 Yasser Arafat was elected president of the
Palestinian Authority and his supporters won two thirds
of the 80 seats in the Legislative Council. 

1998 American researchers announced that they had cloned
calves that may produce medicinal milk. 

1998 In Chile, a judge agreed to hear a lawsuit that
accused Chile's former dictator Augusto Pinochet with

1999 The China News Service announced that the Chinese
government was tightening restrictions on internet use.
The rules were aimed at 'Internet Bars.' 

2000 Greece and Turkey signed five accords aimed to build
confidence between the two nations.

2017  smiled.

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Text edtor 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 19

Thank you, Attila

My car, a 1991 Chrysler LeBaron, did not start today.
I worked on it for hours, and a friend will try tomorrow.
It has been a good car for a long time, but sure has me
worried now.

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Wife Of U.S. Marshal charged with Diabolical 
Rape Frame-Up Of his Ex-Lover
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 19 in
1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City
patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters
and lobsters. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Nothing is more characteristic of a man than the manner in which he behaves toward fools. --- Henri-Frédéric Amiel Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A wealthy playboy met a beautiful young girl in an exclusive lounge. He took her to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was not a tramp, but was well groomed and apparently very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions by famous authors and offered her a glass of wine. He asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry and she said, "Oh, Sherry by all means. To me, it's the nectar of the gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When the stopper is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole being begins to glow. The sound of a thousand violins being softly played fills my ears and I'm transported into another world. "Port, however, just makes me fart." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on the nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was." ______________________________________________________ Too Late! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Angela Maria Diaz, 31, Annaheim, California Wife Of U.S. Marshal charged with Diabolical Rape Frame-Up Of his Ex-Lover The wife of a U.S. marshal has been charged with kidnapping and falsely reporting a crime in a bizarre rape-fantasy frame-up of her husband’s former girlfriend, Southern California officials revealed Monday. Investigators say Angela Maria Diaz, 31, who then lived in Anaheim, posed as the victim of a fabricated Craigslist rape fantasy ad in a bid to land rival Michelle Suzanne Hadley, 30, in prison. Diaz married a U.S. marshal, referred to as John Doe in court documents, a year ago. Hadley was his girlfriend from 2013 to 2015. Diaz tried to make it appear that Hadley, of nearby Ontario, had placed the fake ad last June to entice men to rape Diaz, according to investigators. The ad said Diaz wanted to indulge in her rape fantasies and supplied photos of Diaz and information about her routines. The ad encouraged men to have forcible sex with Diaz, "even if she screamed or resisted". Diaz reported to police that men had appeared at her home intending to rape her and that one had attacked her but fled before police arrived. In an apparent effort to bolster her false claims, Diaz showed police her torn shirt and redness on her neck and breast, the DA’s office said. Diaz had reported to Anaheim police earlier that Hadley sent several threatening emails — and obtained a restraining order against Hadley — but investigators said Diaz had sent the threats to herself. Orange County District Attorney Tony Rackauckas called it a "diabolical scheme." Investigators initially believed Hadley was responsible for the false ad and for the danger to Diaz, and Hadley was charged with 10 felonies, including stalking and attempted forcible rape. If convicted, she faced up to life in prison, noted KTLA-TV in Los Angeles. She was held in lieu of $1 million bail from July to October, until her attorney, Michael Guisti, helped uncover information that authorities said exonerated her. As important as the filing of charges against Ms. Diaz, is the dismissal of the previous complaint and full exoneration of Michelle Hadley, Rackauckas said in a statement. Ms. Hadley is cleared in every possible way in the courtroom and in the court of public opinion. It should be clear in the media and in cyberspace. Ms. Hadley is an innocent victim of a diabolical scheme. Guisti told the Los Angeles Times that Hadley was a wide- eyed, very bubbly young woman with a lust for life whose family had to borrow money for her defense. To have her so thoroughly exonerated by the district attorney is a huge relief to her. Diaz was arrested Jan. 6 in Phoenix and was charged with two felony counts each of kidnapping (linked to false reports that landed Hadley in jail) and false imprisonment by menace, fraud or deceit, one felony count of perjury, one felony count of grand theft and two felony counts of forgery, among a number of other charges, according to the Orange County district attorney’s office. She also is accused of faking cervical cancer and a pregnancy, pretending to be an attorney and forging doctor’s notes during the alleged scheme. Diaz is awaiting extradition to Orange County. All charges were dropped against Hadley on Monday. This has been a huge nightmare for me, she told reporters as she left the courthouse. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Text editor Dear Webby, Is there a simple text editor that doesn't have the problems that NotePad and WordPad have ? (messing up file name extensions, putting formatting info into the text, failing on long files, unpredictable searches, etc.) Preferably one that does not break the bank. Frank Dear Frank A very basic one is NoteMaid. You can download it free from If you want one that uses tabs for different files, and even split screen for easy copying from one file to another, there is NoteTab from They have a free version, and a paid version, which won't break the bank. Try the free version first. The paid version might be a bit overwhelming with all the included tools. It does everything you need for writing a series of books or a university thesis, but if you simply ignore all the tools, it is a very powerful text editor. I have been using it for about 9 years for the Humor Letter. Have FUN! DearWebby
An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a 'clunk.' He then made a left turn and again heard a 'clunk.' Back at the shop he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. He returned the repair order to the service manager with the notation, "Removed dead pumpkin from trunk".
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Recycling Political Campaign Signs My biggest pet peeve around here is that after the election our city is littered with election signs and issue signs that no one ever gets around to picking up. So here is my solution. Everyone out there in Thrifty tip land probably has had a yard sale or two so here is my deal, grab up those signs and recycle them for your next yard sale. The ones that are just a plastic sleeve over a wire base can be reused by sliding off the plastic sleeve. Cut down a white kitchen trash bag and sizing it down to fit on the white frame snugly. Use big stick on letters to tell about your next sale. The ones that are rigid foam board can be spray painted to cover campaign slogans and your info stenciled on instead. Recycling at its best I say. By Debra in CO
Scary Road!
____________________________________________________ A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting." "Oh..." said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck." The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: "My wife's expecting." The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off." When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed. "Yes sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She's still expecting." "What in heaven is she expecting?" yelled the Officer. "Me." said the soldier simply. ____________________________________________________
This guy's talent is humongus!
There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist. A dignified southern gentleman came up and said, "Ma'am, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting your skirt blow around, being indecent, while both hands hold your hat." She said, "Look mister, everything down there is seventy years old. This hat is brand new!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 19
1419 Rouen surrendered to Henry V, completing his
conquest of Normandy. 

1793 King Louis XVI was tried by the French Convention,
found guilty of treason and sentenced to the guillotine. 

1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City
patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters
and lobsters. 

1883 Thomas Edison's first village electric lighting
system using overhead wires began operation in Roselle,

1915 George Claude, of Paris, France, patented the neon
discharge tube for use in advertising signs. 

1915 More than 20 people were killed when German
zeppelins bombed England for the first time. The bombs
were dropped on Great Yarmouth and King's Lynn. 

1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He
flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28
minutes and 25 seconds. 

1942 The Japanese invaded Burma (later Myanmar). 

1944 The U.S. federal government relinquished control of
the nation's railroads after the settlement of a wage

1949 The salary of the President of the United States was
increased from $75,000 to $100,000 with an additional
$50,000 expense allowance for each year in office. 

1969 In protest against the Russian invasion of 1968,
Czech student Jan Palach set himself on fire in Prague's
Wenceslas Square. 

1971 At the Charles Manson murder trial, the Beatles'
"Helter Skelter" was played. At the scene of one of his
gruesome murders, the words "helter skelter" were written
on a mirror. 

1977 U.S. President Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D'Aquino
(the "Tokyo Rose"). 

1981 The U.S. and Iran signed an agreement paving the way
for the release of 52 Americans held hostage for more
than 14 months and for arrangements to unfreeze Iranian
assets and to resolve all claims against Iran. 

1983 China announced that it was bannning 1983 purchases
of cotton, soybeans and chemical fibers from the United

1993 IBM announced a loss of $4.97 billion for 1992. It
was the largest single-year loss in U.S. corporate

1995 Russian forces overwhelmed the resistance forces in

1996 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was
subpoenaed to appear before a federal grand jury. The
investigation was concerning the discovery of billing
records related to the Whitewater real estate investment

1997 Yasser Arafat returned to Hebron for the first time
in more than 30 years. He joined 60,000 Palestinians in
celebration over the handover of the last West Bank city
in Israeli control. 

2001 Texas officials demoted a warden and suspended three
other prison workers in the wake of the escape of the
"Texas 7." 

2006 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft was launched. The
mission was the first to investigate Pluto. 

2013 In Scottsdale, AZ, the original Batmobile for the TV
series "Batman" sold at auction for $4.6 million. It was
the first of six Batmobiles produced for the show. 

2016  smiled.

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Is W7 really no longer secure? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 18

Pioneer Cabin Tree, the giant Sequoiatree with a tunnel
through it, has fallen.

The tree was probably about 3000 years old and still
showed signs of life, but powerful storms in the area
caused flooding that it could not withstand. The ground
got too soft for it's weight, including the huge amount
of water it had soaked up, it toppled over and shattered.

The tunnel through it had been carved in the 1800s.

I am glad I took my dad to see those giant sequoias when
he could still hike in rough terrain.

Here he is standing beside "General Sherman", which at
the time in 2002 was 275 feet tall and had a diameter of
36 feet at the base. 
Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man with mom's name tattooed on chest is 
arrested for battering her
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 18 in
1778 - English navigator Captain James Cook discovered
the Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963), Yep. It sure did for me too! ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One spring evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said, "I have to sleep with daddy." A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" "Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," replied the boy's father. His friend thought for a moment and responded, "That's a rather strange ambition to have for a career." "Well," said the boy's father, "he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!" ______________________________________________________ What ball? From Baba ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Thomas Pinson, 21, St. Petersburg, Florida Florida man with mom's name tattooed on chest is arrested for battering her A Florida man who has his mother’s full name tattooed on his chest was arrested early Saturday for shoving the woman to the ground during a confrontation in their residence, cops report. Investigators allege that Thomas Pinson, 21, battered his mother Carmon, 47, around 3:45 AM Saturday. Pinson, police say, “grabbed his mother with two hands and shoved her backwards into a kitchen chair.” She then fell to ground “and hit her head as a result of being shoved,” a criminal complaint charges. Pinson, who fled his family’s St. Petersburg home before police arrived, was subsequently apprehended and charged with domestic battery, a misdemeanor. Pinson was released yesterday afternoon on his own recognizance from the Pinellas County jail. According to police and jail records, Pinson (seen above) has “Carmon Pinson” inked on his chest. Next to that tribute is a tattoo of a rose. Pinson’s rap sheet includes collars for marijuana possession, attempted robbery with a firearm, and grand theft auto. But he has only been convicted of the pot charge. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Is W7 not secure? Dear Webby, Today, I read concerns about W 7 being so outdated that patches can't keep it secure. These articles come from Kim Komando and ZD Net. What is your take on this? Thanks Bill Dear Bill Consider the source. Kim Kommando is a cute Microsoft shill, and ZD net makes Millions on ads for Microsoft and for new computers. Kim Kommando used to read exactly the same bullshit about XP. Same shit, different names. Many subscribers STILL use XP without a problem! Neither XP nor VISTA nor W7 nor W8 nor W10 are secure, no matter how many patches and bug fixes you put on them. You still need Malwarebytes to make them secure. If you want to paw your monitor like the kids pawing their phones while chasing a pokemon and running into telephone poles, then get W10. If that is not a priority, keep your money in your pocket and stick with W7. Many of it's bugs have been patched and it is running relatively smoothly these days. Have FUN! DearWebby
>Thanks to Dave for this one: A man walked into the Women's Department of Macy's in New York City. He tells the saleslady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B." With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?" He repeated "A Jewish Bra - She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish Bra, and that you would know what she wanted." "Ah, now I remember," said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian type." Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked "Oy, what differences they are ?" The saleslady responded. "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright." He mused on that information for a minute, and asked "So, what is the Jewish type for?" "They," she replied, "make mountains out of molehills." -------------------------- And then there is the "Job Interview Bra".
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Homemade Sloppy Joes By lalala... [795 Posts, 103 Comments] I love it when my best friend comes over to make sloppy joes. I like the kind that uses tomato paste and a seasoning packet, but I love hers! :) Total Time: 30 minutes Yield: 8 sloppy joes Ingredients: 1 lb ground turkey 1 lb ground beef 1 1/2 cup ketchup 1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce 1 1/2 tsp dry mustard 1/4 cup brown sugar 1 tsp garlic powder Steps: Brown meat in a skillet and drain off any liquid. Add ketchup, stir to combine. Then add Worcestershire sauce and brown sugar. Mix well. Stir in the garlic powder, adjust amount to taste. Allow to simmer on LOW for 5 minutes. Serve hot a hamburger bun. Best Sloppy Joe I ever had was at an "Original Tommy's" in Henderson, Nevada. Friends in California kept raving about Original Tommys, so I looked for one near my route. My friend Ann told me about one in Henderson, Nevada. It was the only one outside California at that time. My friends warned me to DEFINITELY NOT try to eat it in the car. OK, OK. So my dad and I went inside, ordered, and sat down by the window, that overlooked the drive- through lane. They brought our burgers, snugly wrapped in alu foil, with a stack of napkins and a box of fries. Stack of napkins? Yep. And a spoon. When I undid the foil, the burger exploded. On top of the patty was a big scoop of Sloppy Joe. I could hear snickering from behind the counter. One bite, and Sloppy Joe was squishing out on all sides. More snickering from behind the counter. Then I happened to glance out the window. A fancily dressed up lady in a silver Camaro with white fur upholstery just received a burger like the ones we got. Everything got deathly quiet in the restaurant as everybody held their breath. I was tempted to scream that she should NOT open it in the car. She did, holding it close to her face. When her Original Tommy exploded, and the hot Sloppy Joe ran down her chins and into her cleavage and down her dress, there was considerably more than just snickering from behind the counter and from all the diners. One lady positively howled. She must have tried it in the car at one time. Quite aside from the side show, they definitely had the best Sloppy Joe I had ever tasted. Have FUN! DerWebby
How does Big Ben keep Accurate time?
____________________________________________________ "Jane," a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, "do you mind telling me whose class you're cutting this time?" "Like," the young teen replied, "uh, see, okay, like it's like I really don't like think like that's really important, y'know, like because like, I'm y'know, like I don't get anything out of it." "Oh, English class." replied the smiling teacher. ____________________________________________________
Scar covering tattoos and the stories behind them.
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. "Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches." "I know, and that's all right," Satan answered. "We've got all the umpires."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 18

1778 - English navigator Captain James Cook discovered
the Hawaiian Islands, which he called the "Sandwich

1788 - The first English settlers arrived in Australia's
Botany Bay to establish a penal colony. The group moved
north eight days later and settled at Port Jackson. 

1871 - Wilhelm, King of Prussia from 1861, was proclaimed
the first German Emperor. 

1886 - The Hockey Association was formed in England. This
date is the birthday of modern field hockey. 

1896 - The x-ray machine was exhibited for the first

1911 - For the first time an aircraft landed on a ship.
Pilot Eugene B. Ely flew onto the deck of the USS
Pennsylvania in San Francisco harbor. 

1919 - The World War I Peace Congress opened in
Versailles, France. 

1939 - Louis Armstrong and his orchestra recorded
"Jeepers Creepers." 

1943 - During World War II, the Soviets announced that
they had broken the Nazi siege of Leningrad, which had
began in September of 1941. 

1943 - U.S. commercial bakers stopped selling sliced
bread. Only whole loaves were sold during the ban until
the end of World War II.

1950 - The federal tax on oleomargarine was repealed. 

1957 - The first, non-stop, around-the-world, jet flight
came to an end at Riverside, CA. The plane was refueled
in mid-flight by huge aerial tankers. 

1964 - The plans for the original World Trade Center in
New York were unveiled to the public. 

1967 - Albert DeSalvo, who claimed to be the "Boston
Strangler," was convicted in Cambridge, MA, of armed
robbery, assault and sex offenses. He was sentenced to
life in prison. Desalvo was killed in 1973 by a fellow

1972 - Former Rhodesian prime minister Garfield Todd and
his daughter were placed under house arrest for
campaigning against Rhodesian independence. 

1978 - The European Court of Human Rights cleared the
British government of torture but found it guilty of
inhuman and degrading treatment of prisoners in Northern

1990 - A jury in Los Angeles, CA, acquitted former
preschool operators Raymond Buckey and his mother, Peggy
McMartin Buckey, of 52 child molestation charges. 

1990 - In an FBI sting, Washington, DC, Mayor Marion
Barry was arrested for drug possession. He was later
convicted of a misdemeanor. 

1995 - The "" domain was created. 

1995 - A network of caves were discovered near the town
of Vallon-Pont-d'Arc in southern France. The caves
contained paintings and engravings that were 17,000 to
20,000 years old. 

1997 - Hutu militiamen killed three Spanish aid workers
and three soldiers and seriously wound an American in a
night attack in NW Rwanda. 

2000 - The Chinese web services company Baidu, Inc. was
incorporated in Beijing. 

2002 - The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
announced the approval of a saliva-based ovulation test. 

2012 - Wikipedia began a 24-hour "blackout" in protest
against proposed anti-piracy legislation (S. 968 and H.R.
3261) known as the Protect Intellectual Property Act
(PIPA) in the Senate and the Stop Online Piracy Act
(SOPA) in the House. Many websites, including Reddit,
Google, Facebook, Amazon and others, contended would make
it challenging if not impossible for them to operate. 

2016  smiled.

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Mailbox names and hot keys 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 17

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pennsylvania woman busted for child porno
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 17 in
1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when
a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen
Liliuokalani to abdicate. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. --- Jackie Mason (1934 - ) Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds. --- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902) hmmm. I must be a genius! ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is an ancient classic: I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 4-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mifter?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her own business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "They are for my girlfriend". She replied with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot of them, too! You muft have REALLY skwoowed up!" Needless to say, nearly everyone on the train was in stitches, except Mom who was now trying to crawl between the seats! ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob." He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging. As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "Can't trust anybody anymore!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kaitlin Plascjak, 28, Allegheny County, Pennsylvania Pennsylvania woman busted for child porno Kaitlin Plascjak made Allegheny County (Pa.) history, but not the kind that will endear her to her neighbors, or anyone else for that matter. According to the District Attorney, Plascjak, 28, became the first woman in 16 years in the county to be arrested on child pornography charges. She is facing the charges after authorities discovered more than 100 sexually explicit images and videos of infants, toddlers and teenagers stored in her cell phone, law enforcement said. The woman allegedly admitted to the crime, telling WPXI- TV that the videos served as a “coping mechanism,” because she was molested when she was younger. An FBI task force unit received a cyber-tip in August that led them to Plascjak’s mobile home, where she lived with her mother. “It blows me away, just blows me away,” neighbor Nancy Milligan told the TV station. The FBI found disturbing photos and videos of “infants being sexually assaulted” and of teens “exposing themselves” while searching her cell phone. Typically, child pornography is a crime committed by men. If convicted of child pornography, she could face a minimum of 15 to 30 years in prison under federal law. Police said Plascjak had more porn on her phone, but she said she deleted it before she underwent surgery so no one would find the graphic images if something had gone wrong with the operation. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helene Re: Mailbox shortcuts Dear Webby, I am using the old legacy Eudora, noit the yuppie version, and am quite happy with it. I like especially the fast way to sort mail into different mail boxes, just ALT R and the first letter of a mailbox name. However, I have run out of letters in the alphabet! I realize that if I hit E twice, it will go to th second one that starts with an E, but then I have to hit Enter to select that one. Yes, I know, I am a spoiled brat, but you probably have a trick to get 4 - 5 more out of it. Thanks Helene Dear Helene You can also use the numbers.from 0 to 9 as the first letter of a mailbox. The exclamation mark will bring a name to the very top, the tilde ~ as the first letter will bring it to the bottom. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Dorothy for this story: My son was in the process of bineg potty trained. One summer day, he came in from outside, all wet. I asked, "Did you have an accident?". "Yes.", he replied. "Well," I asked, "what did you do, water the trees, the bushes,...?" "Oh, no," he replied. "I went in the garage." Shocked, I responded, "Well, you shouldn't do that. It will start to stink and draw flies; now I'll have to go out and hose down the garage." My son replied happily, " But Mom, it's OK, I didn't go in our garage, I went in Jane's garage!!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Grocery List Chalkboard I have a grocery list board on my kitchen cupboard. I don't always have a pen and paper handy when I think of something I need at the grocery store. So I decided to use chalkboard paint to create a surface that I will always have handy. I prepared the surface of the cupboard as directed on the can and painted the cupboard. I also framed it with a 11 x 14 inch wooden painted picture frame (nailed on with small brads) I hot glued a small strip of wood to the frame to hold the chalk. The picture frame is decorated with miniature roosters. Which is the theme of my kitchen. When it is time to do the shopping I just copy the list off the board. By Debbie Z If you don't like the chalk dust or a blackboard does not fit your decor, you can get 24" x 36" Wall Pops WPE0446 24-Inch by 36-Inch Peel and Stick Dry Erase Message Board from Aamzon for about $10. Since that is probably way too big for the kitchen, you can cut it in half and sell the other half to a friend. You simply clean a cupboard door with windex and stick the whiteboard on like contact paper. As long as the kids don't get hold of the dry-erase marker, one will last many years. By the way, forget about whiteboard paint. It is ridiculously expensive and requires an immaculately smooth surface. Not worth it when you can buy peel and stick so cheaply. Have FUN! DearWebby
pit stops 1950 vs 2013
____________________________________________________ A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for five dollars." The neighbor said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this 'talking dog' stuff? There is no such animal." Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes and pleaded, "Please buy me, sir. This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten times!" "Hey!" said the neighbor. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just five dollars?" And the man said, "Because, I'm getting tired of all his lies." ____________________________________________________
I've had this battle when I have the sheet turned the wrong way.
"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say 'babies'. She was disappointed when all the children cried out, "Happy!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 17

1377 The Papal See was transferred from Avignon in France
back to Rome. 

1562 French Protestants were recognized under the Edict
of St. Germain. 

1773 Captain Cook's Resolution became the first ship to
cross the Antarctic Circle. 

1852 The independence of the Transvaal Boers was
recognized by Britain. 

1871 Andrew S. Hallidie received a patent for a cable car

1882 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Crystal Palace
Exhibition in London. 

1893 The Kingdom of Hawaii's monarchy was overthrown when
a group of businessmen and sugar planters forced Queen
Liliuokalani to abdicate. 

1900 The U.S. took Wake Island where there was an
important cable link between Hawaii and Manila. 

1900 Yaqui Indians in Texas proclaimed their independence
from Mexico. 

1900 Mormon Brigham Roberts was denied a seat in the U.S.
House of Representatives for his practicing of polygamy.

1905 Punchboards were patented by a manufacturing firm in
Chicago, IL. 

1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott reached the
South Pole. Norwegian Roald Amundsen had beaten him there
by one month. Scott and his party died during the return

1913 All partner interests in 36 Golden Rule Stores were
consolidated and incorporated in Utah into one company.
The new corporation was the J.C. Penney Company. 

1928 The fully automatic film-developing machine was
patented by A.M. Josepho. 

1934 Ferdinand Porsche submitted a design for a people's
car, a "Volkswagen," to the new German Reich government. 

1945 Soviet and Polish forces liberated Warsaw during
World War II. 

1945 Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg disappeared in
Hungary while in Soviet custody. Wallenberg was credited
with saving tens of thousands of Jews. 

1946 The United Nations Security Council held its first

1959 Senegal and the French Sudan joined to form the
Federal State of Mali. 

1966 A B-52 carrying four H-bombs collided with a
refuelling tanker. The bombs were released and eight
crewmembers were killed. 

1977 Double murderer Gary Gilmore became the first to be
executed in the U.S. in a decade. The firing squad took
place at Utah State Prison. 

1991 Coalition airstrikes began against Iraq after
negotiations failed to get Iraq to retreat from the
country of Kuwait. 

1992 An IRA bomb, placed next to a remote country road in
County Tyrone, Northern Ireland, killed seven building
workers and injured seven others. 

1994 The Northridge earthquake rocked Los Angeles, CA,
registering a 6.7 on the Richter Scale. At least 61
people were killed and about $20 billion in damage was

1995 More than 6,000 people were killed when an
earthquake with a magnitude of 7.2 devastated the city of
Kobe, Japan. 

1997 A court in Ireland granted the first divorce in the
Roman Catholic country's history. 

1997 Israel gave over 80% of Hebron to Palestinian rule,
but held the remainder where several hundred Jewish
settlers lived among 20,000 Palestinians. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his deposition in the
Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit against him. He was
the first U.S. President to testify as a defendant in a
criminal or civil lawsuit. 

2000 British pharmaceutical companies Glaxo Wellcome PLC
and SmithKline Beecham PLC agreed to a merger that
created the world's largest drugmaker. 

2001 Congo's President Laurent Kabila was shot and killed
during a coup attempt. Congolese officials temporarily
placed Kabila's son in charge of the government. 

2001 The director of Palestinian TV, Hisham Miki, was
killed at a restaurant when three masked gunmen walked up
to his table and shot him more than 10 times. 

2002 It was announced that Microsoft had signed a joint
venture agreement to produce software with two partners
in China. The two partners were Beijin Centergate
Technologies (Holding) Co. and the Stone Group.

2016  smiled.

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Spam concern 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, January 16

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Maid of honor turns Florida wedding into nightmare
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 16 in
1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's. --- Richard Whately ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Roy One of my first evenings back from a business trip, my girl's understanding parents left us alone in the living room. Naturally, we did not talk all the time. In the midst of a kiss, I noticed her little sister in her nightgown watching us from the top of the stairway. I told her: "If you will be a good girl and go to bed, I will give you a quarter." Without taking the bribe or saying a word, she ran off but soon was back again. "Here is a dollar," she said. "I wanna watch." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ There was this bank where the employees went on strike leaving the bank officers to do the teller's tasks. While the strike was on, Jane called the bank, and asked if they were open. They told her they had two windows open upstairs in the office area. Then Jane asked, . . . "I'm afraid of heights, couldn't you just let me in though the back door?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Willis 35, Charlotte County, Florida Maid of honor turns Florida wedding into nightmare It was supposed to be the best day of their life. Instead, their maid of honor got arrested and is facing several charges from a wedding day gone wrong. The Charlotte County ceremony has been described as beautiful, but when the reception kicked off, guests said the maid of honor Amanda Willis hit the bottle hard — and almost hit the best man with his own car. The wedding pictures tell the story of a content couple, Brian and Jennifer Butler. They had their cake and first dance while Willis started drinking. “She was a mess. She drank almost a whole entire bottle of Fireball,” said guest Robert Templeton. “She was drunk within 20 minutes to half an hour,” said Jennifer Butler. Willis started asking people for their keys, according to those in attendance. “She just went up to the best man and grabbed his keys out of his pocket and jumped in his car,” said Templeton. Willis backed out and almost hit the best man — Brian’s brother, who grabbed on to the car, according to WBBH-TV. “She took off, and his feet were dragging across the ground. He had to hit the E-brake,” said Templeton. Guests wrestled Willis out of the car. “She went back inside. She grabbed up the big bottle of Captain Morgan and just guzzled it like this,” said Jennifer Butler. Then they say she got violent. “As soon as I turned around, she came up and cracked me upside of the face,” said Templeton. He said he swung back before he knew what was happening, and the deputies were called. “It was insane. Absolutely insane,” said Jena Templeton. Deputies said Willis claimed to be having an asthma attack and started shaking as if she were having a seizure. They took her to Bayfront Punta Gorda, where she exposed herself to deputies, assaulted two medics and kicked over her bed pan, according to the sheriff’s office. “She had her be her maid of honor, and it was a bad decision,” said Robert Templeton. While Willis was supposed to be the bride’s best friend, Jennifer Butler said the two are no longer friends. This arrest is Willis’ ninth in Charlotte County. She faces charges of larceny, battery, grand theft of a motor vehicle, and violation of probation. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Spam concern Dear Webby, I am a recipe collector. I am a member of several different cooking and recipe ezines, much like yours. There are a great deal of recipe web sites as you know. Some do not ask for your email address, however I have run across a couple that look to be good sites but they ask me for my email address and a bit about me, but they are not offering a weekly mailing. Am I likely to get spyware from these type of sites. How about commercial recipe sites i.e. Kraft, Nabisco and so forth, do these companies waste time spamming and putting spyware on these sites? Perhaps this is a dumb question, but I have my machine cleaned up and am trying to keep it fairly clean. Thank you for the suggestion of switching from Norton to McAfee, I am amazed at the difference of what got through. Thank you Ron Dear Ron The big and well known outfits are normally quite legit. When they have something to lose, they toe the line. With unknown ones I would be a lot more careful. Just give them a disposable hotmail address and put a forward into the ho'mail to go to your earthlink address. If that hotmail address becomes a nuisance, dump it. You can set up a forwarding address for each subscription. Subscribe with for example grandrecipes234", then set that hotmail address to forward to your normal earthlink address. That way, if you get a lot of spam sent to that address, then you know that GrandRecipes has sold your address to the swine. If you still like their recipes, just use MailWasher to make a filter that dumps everything sent to that address but does not have recipe in the body of the mail. MailWasher is still at Have FUN! DearWebby
The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Sorting Dirty Clothing Put a cardboard divider in your clothes hamper and use one side for whites and one for darks. Then when your family puts clothes in, they will already be sorted. Towels and sheets can also go on the white side if you have more dark clothes in family. This has worked very well in my household for several years. By Hazel
pit stops 1950 vs 2013
____________________________________________________ MOODS OF A WOMAN An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, A woman is a bundle of contradiction, She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose, She'll win you in rags, enchant you in silk, She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk; At times she'll be vengeful, merry, and sad, She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad. MOODS OF A MAN Hungry, Horny (Not necessarily in that order) ____________________________________________________
What this man does with stone is unreal!
A man started to snore in his seat in church. "Please stop snoring,Sir." the usher pleaded. "You are disturbing the others." "Look, buddy," the man said angrily, "I donated enough to this church that I probably own this whole pew, not just this seat, and I'll do whatever I want." "Yes Sir," said the usher. "But you are keeping everybody awake."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 16
1547 Ivan the Terrible was crowned Czar of Russia. 

1572 The Duke of Norfolk was tried for treason for
complicity in the Ridolfi plot to restore Catholicism in
England. He was executed on June 2. 

1759 The British Museum opened. 

1809 The British defeated the French at the Battle of
Corunna, in the Peninsular War. 

1866 Mr. Everett Barney patented the metal screw, clamp

1896 The first five-player college basketball game was
played at Iowa City, IA. 

1900 The U.S. Senate consented to the Anglo-German treaty
of 1899, by which the U.K. renounced rights to the Samoan

1920 Prohibition went into effect in the U.S. 

1925 Leon Trotsky was dismissed as Chairman of the
Revolutionary Council of the USSR. 

1944 General Dwight D. Eisenhower took command of the
Allied invasion force in London. 

1970 Colonel Muammar el-Quaddafi became virtual president
of Libya. 

1970 Buckminster Fuller, the designer of the geodesic
dome, was awarded the Gold Medal of the American
Institute of Architects. 

1979 The Shah of Iran and his family fled Iran for Egypt.

1982 Britain and the Vatican resumed full diplomatic
relations after a break of over 400 years. 

1985 "Playboy" magazine announced its 30-year tradition
of stapling centerfold models in the bellybutton and
elsewhere would come to an immediate end. 

1988 Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder was fired as a CBS sports
commentator one day after telling a TV station in
Washington, DC, that, during the era of slavery, blacks
had been bred to produce stronger offspring. 

1998 Researchers announced that an altered gene helped to
defend against HIV. 

1991 The White House announced the start of Operation
Desert Storm. The operation was designed to drive Iraqi
forces out of Kuwait. 

1992 Officials of the government of El Salvador and rebel
leaders signed a pact in Mexico City ending 12 years of
civil war. At least 75,000 people were killed during the

1998 The first woman to enroll at Virginia Military
Institute withdrew from the school. 

1998 It was announced that Texas would receive $15.3
billion in a tobacco industry settlement. The payouts
were planned to take place over 25 years. 

2000 Ricardo Lagos was elected Chile's first socialist
president since Salvador Allende. 

2002 U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft announced that
John Walker Lindh would be brought to the United States
to face trial. He was charged in U.S. District Court in
Alexandria, VA, with conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens,
providing support to terrorist organizations, and
engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban of

2002 The U.N. Security Council unanimously adopted
sanctions against Osama bin Laden, his terror network and
the remnants of the Taliban. The sanctions required that
all nations impose arms embargoes and freeze their

2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 500 million
applications downloaded.

2016  smiled.

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How to get rid of streaks on monitor 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 12

Today I have to go to Calgary again for Lucentis injections
through my eyeballs to the Macular, the platform behind the 
retina. That means nothing gets sent out on Friday,
Saturday or Sunday. And NO mail gets answered on those days.

Fantastic moon and stars out tonight. Skies are clear and
the stars are bright and close. 

A friend introduced me to a book, that she just finished
writing and put onto Amazon: Burnout to Bliss. $1.99
So I thought that would be a good excuse to learn about
Kindle. A quick download and install and my computer was a
free Kindle reader. That was slick!

The book came down just as fast. Reading with that PC Kindle
took some getting used to. No scrolling to read at the
center of the monitor! Each tap of the up or down arrow
flips a page, same as trying to scroll with the mouse.
Once I got the hang of that, it was great!

The Burnout book was great too. I read it non-stop. Have not
done that for decades! Highly recommended! With demand,
Amazon will raise the price, so buy it while it is still
low priced. 

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Dumb crooks risk blowing themselves up in Ł25,000 ATM 
raid then get caught by trail of bank notes
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 12 in
49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling
a war between Rome and Gaul. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for this story: A tale is told about a small town that had historically been "dry," but then a local businessman decided to build a tavern. A group of Christians from a local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask God to intervene. It just so happened that shortly thereafter lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The owner of the bar sued the church, claiming that the prayers of the congregation were responsible, but the church hired a lawyer to argue in court that they were not responsible. The presiding judge, after his initial review of the case, stated that "no matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear. The tavern owner believes in the power of prayer and the Christians do not." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: bark in the park ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Bowyer, 32, Christopher Myatt, 20, Cheadle, Stockport, England Dumb crooks risk blowing themselves up in Ł25,000 ATM raid then get caught by trail of bank notes A pair of bungling crooks who blew up a cash machine were caught after they left a trail of banknotes leading to their hideout. Christopher Bowyer, 32, and Christopher Myatt, 20, risked killing themselves and those nearby when they used gas to blow up an ATM on a petrol station forecourt in Cheadle, Stockport. After scooping Ł25,000 from the mangled dispenser at the BP Garage on Stockport Road, in Manchester, the pair drove off in a getaway car. But Manchester’s Minshull Street Crown Court heard how the pair left Ł2,500 of notes scattered around the area and a trail of cash in the direction they had made off. Police who raced to the scene were quickly able to trace the getaway vehicle with the help of the force helicopter, reports Manchester Evening News. Prosecutor David Bentley told the court how the crooks were found hiding on the M56 gantry at the Wythenshawe junction and an officer was forced to save one of them when they were unable to come down. He added Myatt, in particular, was unable to budge from his perched position, fearing he was ‘going to fall’ to the motorway below. Mr Bentley added: “The officer then grabbed his clothing and dragged him to a safe area.” The court heard how the two had plotted to pump explosive gas into the ATM - a type of crime which has swept the region in recent years. Bowyer, of Woodsend Crescent Road, Urmston, and Myatt, of Wastdale Road, Wythenshawe, drove to the forecourt shortly before 2am on January 11 this year and blew up the cash machine, sending notes flying into the air. After being caught, Myatt’s mobile phone was checked by police and there were images of the forecourt as well as internet searches for gas used in the explosion. His blood was also found on the cash machine itself and glass fragments were found in his shoe. Bowyer was said to be the brains behind the plot - but said he didn’t physically get out to pump the gas or pick up the cash. The pair had previously pleaded guilty to causing an explosion likely to endanger life, and theft. Jailing Bowyer for eight years, and Myatt for seven and a half years, Judge Leslie Hull, said he hoped the sentences would deter others doing the same thing. He said the plot could have endangered lives given its location to residential areas and being so close to highly combustible substances. He added: “The risk of putting other people’s lives on the line was a risk which both of you were willing to take.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Monitor streaks Dear Webby, What's the best way to clean a monitor? Mine shows streaks within a day or so of cleaning. Thanks Lynn Dear Trish First, turn the monitor off for five minutes. You can leave the computer running, but turn the monitor off and ignore it for five minutes. Next, vacuum the entire monitor, but especially the screen, even if you can't see any dust on it. The dust is in the invisible little craters etched into the surface to make it less reflective. Then put an old towel below the front of the screen and sponge wipe the screen with plenty of window cleaner or vinegar. Vacuum the screen dry. Repeat that a few times. Spray window cleaner onto the screen and wipe it off with micro fiber cloth or an old tee-shirt. Leave the drip towel in place because usually after a while all the excess liquid that seeped into the case will drip out somewhere. Let it completely dry for at least 15 minutes, then give it a very light spray of a good quality furniture polish and gently wipe it with paper towel or Kleenex. That will repell dust and keep it nice and shiny. It will be a bit more reflective, but not streaky. Have FUN! DearWebby
During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When Bubba asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "No way," Bubba said, "Ol' Blue don't need none. I always do the drivin' these days. He gets way too many speeding tickets and started biting cops!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Clearing Potato Peelings From Disposal By momof3boys [1 Post] After deciding to send potato peelings and carrot peelings down the drain, I immediately regretted it. They had gone past the disposal, but had clogged the pipe. I was home alone with 2 kids under 3. I happened upon this post and saw the baking soda and vinegar as well as a plunger tip. So I took the plunge. I plunged the sink a couple times and got the clog loose. Then for good measure I did the baking soda with vinegar, let it sit while a kettle of water boiled. Then poured that down. Works like a charm! As soon as I tell my husband, he is sure to say "I told you so" about the peelings going down the drain. But I fixed it myself. You live, you learn.
Ella and Elvis
____________________________________________________ >From Brenda A car with Massachusetts license plates drove up to the Canadian customs booth I was manning. When I asked the driver his name, he looked at me strangely and asked, "How much?" I repeated my question, and this time he answered. But when proceeded to question him further, he told me he just wanted to pay the toll and go. "You're not at a tollbooth, sir," I patiently explained. "This is Canadian customs." The man paled. He had left Boston six hours earlier . . . headed for New York City. ____________________________________________________
What this man does with stone is unreal!
How to answer female telemarketers: **BEEP** You have reached the Breast Self-Examination Hotline. Press one to continue. (pause) Now, press the other one. **Click**
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 12
49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling a
war between Rome and Gaul. 

1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died. 

1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China. 

1879 The British-Zulu War began when the British 
invaded Zululand. 

1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct in
London began operation. 

1896 At Davidson College, several students took x-ray
photographs. They created the first X-ray photographs to be
made in America. 

1904 Henry Ford set a new land speed record when he reached
91.37 miles per hour. 

1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first
time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris. 

1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal
to give women the right to vote. 

1915 The U.S. Congress established the Rocky Mountain
National Park. 

1932 Hattie W. Caraway became the first woman elected to the
U.S. Senate. 

1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain. 

1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland. 

1942 U.S. President Roosevelt created the National War Labor

1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that
standard frankfurters/hot dogs/wieners would be replaced by
'Victory Sausages.' 

1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge
offensive against the Germans in Eastern Europe. 

1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful
revolt against the government and a republic was proclaimed.

1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union
address that the United States should stay in South Vietnam
until Communist aggression there was ended. 

1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the
Nigerian civil war came to an end. 

1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV. 

1986 Space shuttle Columbia blasted off with a crew that
included the first Hispanic-American in space, Dr. Franklin
R. Chang-Diaz. 

1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing
President Bush to use military power to force Iraq out of

1995 Northern Ireland Secretary Patrick Mayhew announced
that as of January 16 British troops would no longer carry
out daylight street patrols in Belfast. 

1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to
former Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined $6

1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning. 

1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth
Starr's office with taped conversations between herself and
former White House intern Monica Lewinsky. 

1999 Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball was sold at auction
in New York for $3 million to an anonymous bidder. 

2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police
broad authority to stop and question people who run at the
sight of an officer. 

2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned
to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 million-
mile journey. 

2016  smiled.

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What is an Ezine 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 11

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Drunk Florida woman, 61, clobbered hubby 
for sex refusal
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 11 in
1569 England's first state lottery was held.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off. --- Ellen DeGeneres Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. --- Thomas Szasz ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Liz When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy" "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your bum?" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. Once an hour the nurses walked the patient in the hall, a nurses aide on each side with his arms over their sholders. Behind them the floor nurse stomped along, gesticulating with all kinds of fearsome devices and explaining just what kind of enema he would need if he stopped walking. After a week, the patient was ready to go home. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation but that they had been lucky to get him to the hospital in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," his daughter said, "Dad hasn't walked in over five years!" ______________________________________________________ Secret Waterfall, Japan ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kerry Lee Pineiro, 61, Seminole, Florida Drunk Florida woman, 61, clobbered hubby for sex refusal After her husband refused to have sex with her, a 61-year- old Florida woman punched her spouse in the face before twice kneeing him in the groin, according to police who arrested the woman for domestic battery. As detailed in a criminal complaint, a drunk Kerry Lee Pineiro last night clobbered her husband inside the couple’s condominium in Seminole. Pineiro, cops charge, became “upset” with the 60-year-old victim “after he would not have sex with her.” After punching her husband in the eye, Pineiro kneed him in the groin when he sought to keep her from driving away drunk from their home, investigators allege. Pineiro is also accused of kneeing her spouse in the groin a second time and then kneeing him in the thigh. When questioned by a cop, Pineiro said she had “zero story,” adding that she wanted to go to jail. En route to the county lockup, Pineiro, seen above in an old Facebook photo, denied striking her husband. Charged with domestic battery, a misdemeanor, Pineiro spent the night in jail before a judge released her today on her own recognizance. She has been ordered to wear a “continuous alcohol monitor” during the duration of her criminal case. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Trish Re: Ezine Dear Webby, Can you please tell me what Ezine means, I'm sure there are other people who also are not so knowledgeable on internet speak. Thanks a lot, Trish from Oz Dear Trish ezine is just short for Electronic magaZINE and means any newsletter that also has pictures and that you get via email or on the web. Have FUN! DearWebby
Human Resource Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for our entry level positions."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Goldfish Shaped Mini Pizzas By lalala... [793 Posts, 103 Comments] Ingredients: Pillsbury Classic canned pizza dough pizza sauce cheddar cheese, grated sliced black olives goldfish cookie cutter, optional Steps: Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Dust counter with flour and unroll the pizza dough. Cut out the mini pizzas with the cookie cutter. Place the pizza onto a greased cookie sheet. Spoon some pizza sauce onto the pizzas and spread it out. Top them with cheese. Add an olive slice for the eye. Bake for 14-18 minutes or until the bottom of the pizza is light brown. I recommend checking them frequently towards the end, so that they don't overcook. Allow to cool on the pan for a few minutes, then enjoy!
The Man Song
____________________________________________________ At a diner, I was standing in line to pay my bill behind two women who handed the young waitress a credit card. After swiping the card, she loudly called out to her manager, "Mr. Allen, what do I do if it says 'reject'?" As the women's faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr. Allen, also the cook, calmly walked out from the kitchen. "Well," he answered, the first thing you do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking about leaving a tip for the cook. Next you go check and see if McDonalds will take you back." ____________________________________________________
What this man does with stone is unreal!
Three couples are in line at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says to the first couple, "Sorry, I can't let you in." "Why not?" asked the husband. "Because all the two of you ever cared about was drinking. You were either stone drunk or hung over. You didn't have a sober day in your marriage." said St. Peter. "That's not true!" pleaded the couple. "Really, now." said St. Peter. "What's your wife's name?" "Sherry", said the man "See, you even married a woman named after a drink!" said St. Peter just as he released a trap door, sending them straight down to hell. Then he a told the second couple they couldn't get in to Heaven, either. "Why not?" asked the second husband. "Because all you ever cared about was making money, and you didn't care how you did it. You would cheat anybody, anytime to make your fortune." said St. Peter. "You even cheated your own brothers and sisters out of their inheritance!" "That's not true!" pleaded the husband. "Oh, really?" queried St. Peter "What's your wife's name?" "Penny", said the husband. "See?" said St. Peter, "You even have wife named after money." At which point he released the trap door sending them down to hell. The third husband, grinning, said to his wife, "Well, Fanny, I'm sure glad we were not interested in booze or money!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 11
1569 England's first state lottery was held. 

1770 The first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the United
States from London. 

1867 Benito Juarez returned to the Mexican presidency,
following the withdrawal of French troops and the execution
of Emperor Maximilian. 

1878 In New York, milk was delivered in glass bottles for
the first time by Alexander Campbell. 

1902 "Popular Mechanics" magazine was published for the
first time. 

1913 The first sedan-type car was unveiled at the National
Automobile Show in New York City. The car was manufactured
by the Hudson Motor Company. 

1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became
the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. 

1935 Amelia Earhart Putnam became the first woman to fly
solo from Hawaii to California. 

1938 In Limerick, ME, Frances Moulton assumed her duties as
the first woman bank president. 

1942 Japan declared war against the Netherlands. The same
day, Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies. 

1943 The United States and Britain signed treaties
relinquishing extraterritorial rights in China. 

1964 U.S. Surgeon General Luther Terry released a report
that said that smoking cigarettes was a definite health

1977 France released Abu Daoud, a Palestinian suspected of
involvement in the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972
Munich Olympics. 

1978 Two Soviet cosmonauts aboard the Soyuz 27 capsule
linked up with the Salyut 6 orbiting space station, where
the Soyuz 26 capsule was already docked. 

1980 Nigel Short, age 14, from Bolton in Britain, became the
youngest International Master in the history of chess. 

1986 Author James Clavell signed a 5$ million deal with
Morrow/Avon Publishing for the book "Whirlwind". The book is
a 2,000 page novel. 

1988 U.S. Vice President George Bush met with
representatives of independent counsel Lawrence E. Walsh to
answer questions about the Iran-Contra affair. 

1991 An auction of silver and paintings that had been
acquired by the late Ferdinand Marcos and his wife, Imelda,
brought in a total of $20.29 million at Christie's in New

1996 Ryutaro Hashimoto become Japan's prime minister. He
replaced Tomiichi Murayama who had resigned on January 5,

2000 The merger between AOL and Time Warner was approved by
the U.S. government with restrictions. 

2000 The U.S. Postal Service unveiled the second Vietnam
Veterans Memorial commemorative stamp in a ceremony at The

2001 The Texas Board of Criminal Justice released a review
of the escape of the "Texas 7." It stated that prison staff
missed critical opportunities to prevent the escape by
ignoring a fire alarm, not reporting unsupervised inmates
and not demanding proper identification from inmates. 

2001 The U.S. Federal Trade Commission approved the merger
of America Online and Time Warner to form AOL Time Warner. 

2016  smiled.

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Bounced emails 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 10

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
North Carolina pastor arrested, charged with 
9 counts of robbery in string of heists 
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 10 in
1776 "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine was published.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously. --- Nicholas Butler Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Father, passing through his son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window, "Whadoya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch and we'll drag him in in the morning." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two dogs were walking down the street. One dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs a fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my pee-mail messages." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Thomas Lindsey, 47, Charlotte, N.C. North Carolina pastor arrested, charged with 9 counts of robbery in string of heists suspected to be drug-motivated Thou shalt not steal. A Charlotte, N.C. pastor put one of the 10 commandments on the backburner and was ultimately arrested Wednesday in connection to a number of armed robberies on local businesses. John Thomas Lindsey, 47, a pastor at True Love Church of Refuge, was charged with 9 counts of robbery with a dangerous weapon, 9 counts of conspiracy to commit robbery with a dangerous weapon and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, reports. Lindsey allegedly robbed two 7-Eleven stores, a Family Dollar store, a Circle K and two Sam’s Marts. He’s suspected to have fired a shot inside a Family Dollar store back in October. Surveillance footage in the stores shows a person resembling Lindsey engaged in the robberies. Sources told WSOC that drugs are suspected to be the motive for the crimes. Police zeroed in on Lindsey after being led to him by a 24- year-old man named Fernando Carillo-Hernandez, who was arrested Tuesday and charged with three counts of robbery with a dangerous weapon and three counts of conspiracy to commit robbery with a dangerous weapon, according to WSOC. Carillo-Hernandez, who does not appear to be connected to True Love Church of Refuge, is allegedly responsible for robberies at Circle K locations. He also has a rap sheet that includes two drug-related convictions. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Delivery has changed Dear Webby, can you enlighten me on something? I have mailwasher pro..thank god...and lately I am getting some "delivery has changed" emails returned from addresses that I have not sent to and don't know...they do have part of my address in them....I think this may be nasty... now what???? Thanks my dear...Hugggs Ann Dear Ann Just spam. Probably somebody, who has you in their address book, has a nasty infection and got harvested. If you ARE in the habit of sending mails to yourself as a lazy way to keep notes, get into the habit of putting a special mark like ~ into the front of the subject line. Then make a filter in Mailwasher to dump all mail pretending to be from you, that does not have that ~, into the trash, automatically, unseen. You will never seen that crap again, but your ~ prefixed memos come through nicely. Have FUN! DearWebby
Human Resource Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for our entry level positions."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Gluten Free Potato Cakes By Litter Gitter [198 Posts, 638 Comments] Cook Time: approximately 15 minutes Total Time: approximately 20 minutes Yield: 3-6 servings Ingredients: 2 cups chilled creamed potatoes 1 Tbsp gluten free flour 1 egg bacon grease Steps: Mix flour with potatoes. Whisk egg. Stir egg into potato mixture. Place bacon grease in frying pan. Heat enough to cover the bottom of the pan well. Remove excess. Drop tablespoons of mixture into hot bacon drippings. Fry on medium heat until golden brown on each side. Serve hot. I am usually suspicious about supposedly gluten free flour, so I use simple instant mashed potatoes, which are basically just dried mashed potatoes, instead of flour. And naturally, I brown some fine cut onions in the bacon grease. That makes a HUGE improvement! The recipe is totally flexible. In season I chop some parsley or chives into it. A timid sprinkle of garlic powder is also nice, and of course salt and pepper. Have FUN! DearWebby
Janitor gets revenge when shoveling snow!
____________________________________________________ Suffering from a bad case of the flu, a man phoned his doctor to get an appointment. When he was told scheduled date of the appointment, he became outraged and bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!" Calmly, the receptionist replied, "If so, could you have your wife call to cancel the appointment?" ____________________________________________________
I love the little bonsai forests.
Just before the public viewing at a funeral parlor, a widow notices her deceased husband's hairpiece is flapping in the breeze caused by the air conditioner. "This won't do!" She orders the director to take care of the problem. He assures her that he will take care of it, if she'll just wait in the outer office for ten minutes. She leaves and comes back after exactly 600 seconds. Sure enough, her husband's hair is all in place. A month later, the widow is reviewing the bill for the funeral and she notices there was no charge for the hair problem. She calls to inquire as to why. She is told that it was "on the house." "Nonsense," she retorts, "you expended time and materials and I will compensate you for it. Now, give me a price!" "Ok, madam", the funeral director wearily agrees. He holds the phone away and hollers across the room, "Hey, Charlie, how much did those three nails cost to put that toupee in place last month?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 10
1776 "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine was published. 

1840 The penny post, whereby mail was delivered at a
standard charge rather than paid for by the recipient, began
in Britain. 

1861 Florida seceded from the United States. 

1863 Prime Minister Gladstone opened the first section of
the London Underground Railway system, from Paddington to
Farringdon Street. 

1870 John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil. 

1901 Oil was discovered at the Spindletop oil field near
Beaumont, TX. 

1911 Major Jimmie Erickson took the first photograph from an
airplane while flying over San Diego, CA. 

1920 The League of Nations ratified the Treaty of
Versailles, officially ending World War I with Germany. 

1927 Fritz Lang's film "Metropolis" was first shown, in

1928 The Soviet Union ordered the exile of Leon Trotsky. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt sailed from Miami,
FL, to Trinidad thus becoming the first American President
to visit a foreign country during wartime. 

1943 The quiz show, "The Better Half," was heard for the
first time on Mutual Radio. 

1946 The first meeting of the United Nations General
Assembly took place with 51 nations represented. 

1951 Donald Howard Rogers piloted the first passenger jet on
a trip from Chicago to New York City. 

1978 The Soviet Union launched two cosmonauts aboard a Soyuz
capsule for a redezvous with the Salyut VI space laboratory.

1981 In El Salvador, Marxist insurgents launched a "final

1984 The United States and the Vatican established full
diplomatic relations for the first time in more than a

1990 Chinese Premier Li Peng ended martial law in Beijing
after seven months. He said that crushing pro-democracy
protests had saved China from "the abyss of misery." 

1990 Time Inc. and Warner Communications Inc. completed a
$14 billion merger. The new company, Time Warner, was the
world's largest entertainment company. 

1994 In Manassas, VA, Lorena Bobbitt went on trial. She had
been charged with maliciously wounding her husband John. She
was acquitted by reason of temporary insanity. 

1997 Shelby Lynne Barrackman was strangled to death by her
grand-father when she licked the icing off of cupcakes. He
was convicted of the crime on September 15, 1998. 

2000 It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy
America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever corporate
merger priced at $162 billion. The Federal Trade Commission
(FTC) approved the deal on December 14, 2000. 

2001 American Airlines agreed to acquire most of Trans World
Airlines (TWA) assets for about $500 million. The deal
brought an end to the financially troubled TWA. 

2002 In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all
women could get the morning-after contraception pill for
free in pharmacies. 

2003 North Korea announced that it was withdrawing from the
global nuclear arms control treaty and that it had no plans
to develop nuclear weapons. 

2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.3 million feature
length films sold and 50 million television episodes sold.

2016  smiled.

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Desktop icon on W10 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, January 8

Thank you, Michael!

Thanks to the 40 who figured out how to vote! 
Top ranked again!

On Thursday, January 12, I have to go to Calgary again for
Lucentis injections through my eyeballs to the Macular, the
platform behind the retina. That means nothing gets sent
out on Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
And NO mail gets answered on those days.

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman arrested for hitting fiance 
with plank with nails in it
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 8 in
2009 In Egypt, archeologists entered a 4,300 year old
pyramid and discovered the mummy of Queen Sesheshet. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. --- Hunter S. Thompson (1939 - 2005) The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his right rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, he drops the spare onto the hub cap in which he was keeping the lug nuts. The nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one of the inmates has been watching the whole thing. "Hey, pal! Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of the other three wheels? That'll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage or something." Jones is startled by the patient's seeming rationality, but realizes the plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident. Before he leaves, he calls back to the patient. "You know, that was pretty sharp thinking. Why do they have you in there?" The patient smiles and says, "I'm in here because I'm crazy, not because I'm stupid." --------------- Last time I ran this joke about five years ago, about a hundred people wrote me and told me that pretty well summed up why they worked where they did. I'm glad they are having fun! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cindy for reminding me of this one: An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building. A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of Expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!" Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce!" About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and trumpets a fart like the finale of an opera. Just before the elevator doors close behind her, she turns and whispers into the eyewatering fumes: "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound." ______________________________________________________ Panama Flower Market ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Enrevie Hinayon Bendejo, 25, Fernandina Beach, Florida Florida woman arrested for hitting fiance with plank with nails in it A Florida woman was arrested after authorities say she beat her boyfriend with a wooden plank with nails in it during an argument over an engagement ring. Enrevie Hinayon Bendejo, 25, was arrested Monday on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, the Nassau County Sheriff's Office said. Bendejo remained behind bars on $5,000 bond Thursday, jail records showed. No attorney information was immediately available. Deputies arrested Bendejo, of Fernandina Beach, after responding to reports of a fight between a man and a woman, The Florida Times-Union reported. When deputies arrived they found Bendejo walking away from the 26-year-old man carrying a plank with nails in one end which they ordered her to drop, the report said. Bendejo told the deputies she and the man had been engaged for about a week, and the man said they were arguing about the ring her gave her when he proposed, the report said. They were arguing when she picked up the plank and started hitting him then bit him on the arm and punched him in the face, according to the report. The man had red marks and bruises and a bite mark on his arm. The report did not say whether she was drunk or just evil. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: Desktop icon Dear Webby, I put Accuradio on my computer and want to put an icon on my desktop for it so I won't have to go through y reading list to find it. It does not work the way it used to (right-click on internet address). Would you please tell me how it is done now in W10? As always, I appreciate your help and your Humor Letter. Thank you, Carol Dear Carol On the browser, I use Chrome, there is a tiny little icon to the left of the URL. Drag that onto the desktop. Simply double-click that, and Chrome will go there. Have FUN! DearWebby
Speaking of broccoli.... A couple are asleep in their beds late one night, when the wife thinks she hears a noise downstairs. She nudges her husband and whispers, "Wake up, wake up!" "What's the matter?" he asks. "There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the broccoli casserole I made tonight." "That'll teach them!" says the husband.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Homemade Oxi-Clean Materials a container with a lid 1 cup water 1/2 cup hydrogen peroxide 1/2 cup baking soda Keep a jar of this next to your laundry machine and let soak in the stains for 15 minutes to overnight. I have not had any problems with color bleeding, but as always test a small spot on clothes you may be unsure of, as to not have any surprises. By Teri M from Omaha, NE
Janitor gets revenge when shoveling snow!
____________________________________________________ Thanks to JoAnn for this: Interesting 1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8 + 2 = 98 123 x 8 + 3 = 987 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765 123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654 1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543 12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432 123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321 ____________________________________________________
This is just sad...
"So," Jane asked the detective she had hired. "Did you trail my husband?" "Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out- of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile crossed Jane's face. "Aha! I've got him!" she said gloating. "Is there any doubt what he was doing?" "No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "There is absolutely no doubt. It's pretty clear that he was following you, ... and taking pictures for his web site."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 8
1642 Astronomer Galileo Galilei died in Arcetri, Italy. 

1675 The first corporation was chartered in the United
States. The company was the New York Fishing Company. 

1815 The Battle of New Orleans began. The War of 1812 had
officially ended on December 24, 1814, with the signing of
the Treaty of Ghent. The news of the signing had not
reached British troops in time to prevent their attack on
New Orleans. 

1838 Alfred Vail demonstrated a telegraph code he had
devised using dots and dashes as letters. The code was the
predecessor to Samuel Morse's code. 

1853 A bronze statue of Andrew Jackson on a horse was
unveiled in Lafayette Park in Washington, DC. The statue
was the work of Clark Mills. 

1856 Borax (hydrated sodium borate) was discovered by Dr.
John Veatch. 

1877 Crazy Horse (Tashunca-uitco) and his warriors fought
their final battle against the U.S. Cavalry in Montana. 

1886 The Severn Railway Tunnel, Britain's longest, was

1889 The tabulating machine was patented by Dr. Herman
Hollerith. His firm, Tabulating Machine Company, later
became International Business Machines Corporation (IBM). 

1894 Fire caused serious damage at the World's Columbian
Exposition in Chicago, IL. 

1900 U.S. President McKinley placed Alaska under military

1900 In South Africa, General White turned back the Boers
attack of Ladysmith. 

1908 A catastrophic train collision occurred in the smoke-
filled Park Avenue Tunnel in New York City. Seventeen were
killed and thirty-eight were injured. The accident caused a
public outcry and increased demand for electric trains. 

1916 During World War I, the final withdrawal of Allied
troops from Gallipoli took place. 

1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson announced his Fourteen
Points as the basis for peace upon the end of World War I. 

1935 The spectrophotometer was patented by A.C. Hardy. 

1962 Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa was exhibited in America
for the first time at the National Gallery of Art in
Washington, DC. The next day the exhibit opened to the

1973 Secret peace talks between the United States and North
Vietnam resumed near Paris, France. 

1973 The trial opened in Washington, of seven men accused
of bugging Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate
apartment complex in Washington, DC. 

1982 American Telephone & Telegraph (AT&T) settled the
Justice Department's antitrust lawsuit against it by
agreeing to divest itself of the 22 Bell System companies. 

1982 The U.S. Justice Department withdrew an antitrust suit
against IBM. 

1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush collapsed during a
state dinner in Tokyo. White House officials said Bush was
suffering from stomach flu. 

1993 Bosnian President Izetbegovic visited the U.S. to
plead his government's case for Western military aid and
intervention to halt Serbian aggression. 

1994 Tonya Harding won the ladies' U.S. Figure Skating
Championship in Detroit, MI, a day after Nancy Kerrigan
dropped out because of a clubbing attack that injured her
right knee. The U.S. Figure Skating Association later took
the title from Harding because of her involvement in the

1998 Ramzi Yousef was sentenced to life in prison for his
role of mastermind behind the World Trade Center bombing in
New York. 

1998 Scientists announced that they had discovered that
galaxies were accelerating and moving apart and at faster

1999 The top two executives of Salt Lake City's Olympic
Organizing Committee resigned amid disclosures that civic
boosters had given cash to members of the International
Olympic Committee. 

2009 In Egypt, archeologists entered a 4,300 year old
pyramid and discovered the mummy of Queen Sesheshet. 

2016  smiled.

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Internet Radio 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, January 7

Thanks to Lewis at for fixing the 
Ezinefinder. You can vote again!

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
First Drive-Thru Rage Arrest Of 2017 is in Florida,
again, what a surprise!
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 7 in
1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. 
He named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 

Can YOU spot them?

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that it's against the law. --- Alex Levin One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. --- Niels Bohr ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as a passenger hopelessly overloaded with bags tried to stuff his belongings in the overhead bin of the plane. Finally, she informed him that he would have to check the oversized luggage. "When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I never have this problem." She smiled and said, "Sir, when you fly other airlines, I don't have this problem either." ______________________________________________________ A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it." "You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run for the bridge. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "but I was wondering if you have any bronze politicians!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Silva, 49, Clearwater, Florida First Drive-Thru Rage Arrest Of 2017 is in Florida, again, what a surprise! A McDonald’s employee was kicked in the stomach by an “irate and violent” customer who was “extremely unhappy with his service in the drive-thru,” according to Florida cops. Investigators allege that William Silva, 49, exploded after being "tied up" in the drive-thru lane, which was “backed up” Sunday around 10:30 PM. Silva, cops say, entered the Clearwater McDonald’s and started screaming and cursing at employees. After being asked to calm down, Silva allegedly attacked worker Manuel Cano, who was off-duty at the time. Silva, a criminal complaint alleges, "delivered a front kick" to Cano, who countered with several blows to Silva’s head and held him for police. While Silva, pictured above, denied starting the January 1 altercation or creating a disturbance inside the restaurant, his account of the incident was contradicted by Cano and a McDonald’s manager. Silva was arrested for disorderly conduct and battery, both misdemeanors. He was released from the county jail last night after posting $650 bond. Silva’s rap sheet includes convictions for cocaine possession and possession of drug paraphernalia. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Diane Re: Web Radio Dear Webby, The radio stations in this town stink. Both of them. Is ther a way to get different radio stations over the web? Do I need any specila program to listen to them and what is involved in setting my computer up for them? Thanks Diane Dear Diane Just browse to Registration is free and highly recommended. That way they keep track of what you like and what you dump. For example, if you click on SKIP to skip a certain screecher, who threatened to move to Canada, but failed, it will remember that and avoid her in the future. You can nicely customize your listening experience. There are countless different channels like Brazilian, Blues, Celtic, even Top100. You can even search by artist, if you don't remember the channel. If you are registered, it will show you the last few channels you used. It is quite slick! And totally free. No setup hassles either. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Linda Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting together for Christmas, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.” The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.” The third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.” Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks: “Dear Milton,” she wrote one son, “The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room, but I have to keep the whole house clean!” “Dear Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes.” “Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “You have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was Dee-licious.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Salt Stains on Leather If you get salt stains on your leather shoes or boots in the wintertime, mix one tablespoon of white vinegar in one cup of water. Dip a clean soft rag in the liquid, the wipe the salt stains. Allow to dry and your shoes should be good as new! By Becki in Indiana
Dance of the Reed Flutes (from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite) - Kinda different!
____________________________________________________ An Irishman went to London for a visit to the circus. While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's age. The Irishman was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. The man had the elephant look at a small boy and the elephant stamped its foot 9 times. "Is that right?" he asked the boy. "Yes, I'm nine!" the boy said. The Irishman continued his loud heckling, still not believing that this was true. The man asked the elephant to tell the ages of several other people, and each time the elephant stamped his foot and the people said he was correct. The Irishman got even louder and more abusive toward the man. Finally the man could take it no longer and wagered the Irishman that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age. The Irishman took him up on the wager. The elephant looked real close at the Irishman, turned around, raised his tail and cut wind like you wouldn't believe. Then he turned back around, knocked the Irishman to the ground with his trunk and then stomped on him twice. The Irishman, crumpled and bleeding, staggered back to his feet and with a sound of disbelief in his voice cried, "Lard, Thunder and Murphy, he's right!...Farty-two!" ____________________________________________________
The bizarre origins behind 10 of the world’s most common superstitions.
That joke reminds me of this one: Mrs. O'Malley arrived in Boston from Ireland, and in no time at all her bean soup made her the talk of New England society. At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron approached Mrs. O'Malley and said, "My dear girl, what is the secret of your soup?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "The secret o' me soup is that I use but two-hundred thirty-nine beans to make it." The woman said, "Why only two-hundred thirty-nine?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "Because one more would make it too farty."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 7
1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland
France, was recaptured by the French. 

1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He
named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto. 

1782 The Bank of North America opened in Philadelphia. It
was the first commercial bank in the United States. 

1785 French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard
successfully made the first air-crossing of the English
Channel from the English coast to France. 

1789 Americans voted for the electors that would choose
George Washington to be the first U.S. president. 

1887 Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle
trip. He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his
bike traveled 13,500 miles in almost three years time. 

1894 W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture

1896 The "Fannie Farmer Cookbook" was published. 

1904 The distress signal "CQD" was established. Two years
later "SOS" became the radio distress signal because it was
quicker to send by wireless radio. 

1927 Transatlantic telephone service began between New York
and London. 31 calls were made on this first day. 

1927 In Hinckley IL, the Harlem Globetrotters played their
first game. 

1929 The debut of "Buck Rogers 2429 A.D." occurred in
newspapers around the U.S. The title of the comic strip was
later changed to "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century." 

1932 Chancellor Heinrich Brüning declared that Germany
cannot, and will not, resume reparations payments. 

1935 French Foreign Minister Pierre Laval and Italian Prime
Minister Benito Mussolini signed the Italo-French

1940 "Gene Autry’s Melody Ranch" debuted on CBS Radio. The
show aired for 16 years. 

1941 The NBC Blue radio network presented "The Squeaky
Door" for the first time. The show was later known as
"Inner Sanctum." 

1942 The World War II siege of Bataan began. 

1949 The announcement of the first photograph of genes was
shown at the University of Southern California in Los

1953 U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development
of the hydrogen bomb. 

1954 The Duoscopic TV receiver was unveiled this day. The
TV set allowed the watching of two different shows at the
same time. 

1959 The United States recognized Fidel Castro's new
government in Cuba. 

1975 OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which
began a time of world economic inflation. 

1979 Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of
Phnom Penh, overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government. 

1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that
authorized $1.5 billion in loans for the bail out of
Chrysler Corp. 

1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan
following the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito. 

1990 The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public.
The accelerated rate of "leaning" raised fears for the
safety of its visitors. 

1996 Alvaro Arzu was elected president of Guatemala. 

1996 One of the biggest blizzards in U.S. history hit the
eastern states. More than 100 deaths were later blamed on
the severe weather. 

1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky signed an
affidavit denying that she had an affair with U.S.
President Clinton. 

1999 U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the
Senate. It was only the second time in U.S. history that an
impeached president had gone to trial. Clinton was later
acquitted of perjury and obstruction of justice charges. 

2002 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates introduced a new
device code named Mira. The device was tablet-like and was
a cross between a handheld computer and a TV remote

2009 Russia shut off all gas supplies to Europe through
Ukraine. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin publicly endorsed
the move and urged greater international involvement in the
energy dispute. 

2016  smiled.

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XP SP3 update onto an AMD Athlon machine 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, January 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you, Clyde!!!!

Yes I know that the Ezinefinder is stuck in last year.
Last year I had to nag until the middle of April.

Here are the addresses that I mail to: ... hare_id=11

Maybe, if I am not the only one nagging, 
we will get some action going.

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Newark, New York Business Executive Arrested for DWI, 
Buys All Local Newspapers to Hide It.
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 6 in
2017 Obama awarded the Defense Department’s “Medal of
Distinguished Public Service” to himself. North Korea style.
Maybe it refers to his golf games.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. --- Evan Davis The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. --- Albert Einstein ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: A group of Americans was traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours." ______________________________________________________ >From Jewel from Down Under (where they have summer now) This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper. Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're aking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself." So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea. The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?" "Huh? I thought you were out of town." The funeral will be on Saturday. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joseph Talbot, 43, Newark, New York New York Business Executive Arrested for DWI, Buys All Local Newspapers to Hide It Joseph Talbot, 43, was arrested in Newark, New York (not New Jersey) recently for driving while intoxicated. According to local reports, Talbot refused to be photographed by police, refused to have his fingerprints taken, and would not give a breath sample. The reason? He didn’t want to end up in the local paper. Talbot is a vice president of Key Insurance and Benefits Services Inc., an arm of Key Bank, which would partially explain his desire to keep the arrest hidden. The more successful you are, the more these types of scandals can hurt. His efforts landed him a second-degree obstructing governmental administration charge on top of the DWI. Talbot refused to give up on his attempt to hide his arrest, however, and he went out the next day to buy up as many local papers as he could to hide the news. According to Ron Holdraker, the editor and owner of the Times of Wayne County, Talbot purchased over 900 copies. With Newark’s population sitting around 8,952, Talbot clearly believed that he had purchased enough copies to hide the news. Despite spending over $1000 to hide his arrest, Talbot is now being plastered all over the internet for his silly attempt. Maybe next time Talbot can save himself the time and money by just not driving while intoxicated. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leesa Re: XP SP3 update onto an AMD Athlon machine Dear Webby, How goes it way up north in the "almost as cold as we are" country? Gets any colder here, I think we should just burrow into one of the many deep hard snow drifts, and spend the winter in hibernation. Have a question for you. Remember way back when microsoft first came out with the sp3 update for xp? At that time they said it would cause problems for amd athlon. Do you know if it was ever fixed so it could be run on amd? I so hate to give up my computer, but now can't get any updates because most seem to require sp3. I don't want to just install it then not be able to get it back out of there. I haven't had time to get all my backups done for 2016, and it may be a while before that gets done. You wise and intelligent answer would be appreciated. Stay warm. Stay safe. Havin' tons of fun now leesa dear leesa no gullible warming here either. I think I skipped sp3. There is no definite answer about it. Some say it is ok, some say it isn't. Since your machine works quite nicely without those "updates", why bother with them? Xp has been completely fixed years ago. There are no more bug fixes, just the odd security update. If you have malwarebytes, then don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Susan: My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds that she had put on recently. "Good," I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too! We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I get the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," she replied. "I'll ride with you. I'll pay for the ice cream on the way back!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Freezing Food Without a Vacuum Sealer By paulawill2 To freeze and vacuum seal foods, try this no cost vacuum sealer. Get a large enough bowl of water that will fit what you want to freeze. Zip package partway closed, leaving a small opening. Push out air. Slip baggy into the bowl of water until the opening is just above the surface of water. Gently squeeze out remaining air. Zip close. Dry with towel, place in freezer. Wala, a protection from air for your hard earned food!
" target="_blank" >"> when you go hunting with a girl
____________________________________________________ From my archives, today in 2005 POSTED: 8:22 am EST January 7, 2005 PHILADELPHIA -- A Philadelphia fanatic is heading to federal prison. It took a jury less than two hours on Thursday to convict Allan Carlson, 41, of sending out thousands of e-mails blasting the management of the Philadelphia Phillies. He had listed sportswriters and team officials as the senders, so spam that bounced back went to them. As a result, people he named had their computers clogged with thousands of messages. A federal prosecutor says reporters weren't able to find their real e-mails in all the garbage. Carlson, who's been living with his parents in New Jersey, could get up to 41 months in federal prison. Only senators can get away with doing that. ____________________________________________________
Drone footage and time lapse of surreal landscape and sky in Iceland.
An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy addressed his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married over 50 years, and they appeared still very clearly in love. While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names." The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth, he said. "I forgot her name about ten years ago."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 6
2017 Obama awarded the Defense Department’s “Medal of
Distinguished Public Service” as the administration’s token
of appreciation, to himself.

0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the Battle
of Ashdown. 

1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans. 

1453 Frederick III erected Austria into an Archduchy. 

1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of
Cleves, his fourth wife. 

1720 The Committee of Inquiry on the South Sea Bubble
published its findings. 

1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph for
the first time. 

1896 The first American women’s six-day bicycle race was
held at Madison Square Garden in New York City. 

1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people were
dying from starvation. 

1900 Off of South Africa, the British seized the German
steamer Herzog. The boat was released on January 22, 1900. 

1930 The first diesel-engine automobile trip was completed
after a run of 792 miles from Indianapolis, IN, to New York
City, NY. 

1942 The first commercial around-the-world airline flight
took place. Pan American Airlines was the company that made
history with the feat. 

1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and
77,000 Allied casualties. 

1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China. 

1952 "Peanuts" debuted in Sunday papers across the United

1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major
offensive, known as Operation "Deckhouse V", in the Mekong
River delta. 

1982 William G. Bonin was convicted in Los Angeles, CA, of
being the "freeway killer" who had murdered 14 young men and

1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was
presented with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. It was
the first occurrence of a repeat winner of the award. 

1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right
leg by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four men
were later sentenced to prison for the attack, including
Tonya Harding's ex-husband. 

1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit
around the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, in an
effort to find water under the lunar surface, on July 31,

1999 The 106th U.S. Congress opened. The first item on the
agenda was the impeachment proceedings of U.S. President
Bill Clinton. The trial was set to begin January 7, 1999. 

2004 In the United Arab Emirates, construction began on the
Burj Khalifa skyscraper. Upon completion it was the world's
largest building. 

2016  smiled.

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Are Link exchanges good or bad? 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, January 5

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
UF bonehead broke into a home, found sleeping with a 
broom. Got arrested. 
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 5 in 
1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval 
expedition led by Benedict Arnold. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure. --- Samuel Johnson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Three preachers decided to have a joint revival meeting. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained four new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained six new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our ten biggest trouble makers!" ______________________________________________________ The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. He said, "Yes, I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" asked the teacher. "Four," says little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" Little Johnny smiles and says, "A jack." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christian Chambers Kobes, 20, Universitry of Floriduh, Floriduh UF bonehead broke into a home, found sleeping with a broom. Got arrested. After a night out at Midtown on Wednesday, a UF student broke into a house and fell asleep with a broom, Gainesville Police said. At about 5:10 a.m., Christian Chambers Kobes, 20, used the broom to break a window pane at the home, located in the 1700 block of eighth avenue, according to the police report. Police responded to the home’s alarm and found Kobes asleep with the broom, according to the report. Kobes, a UF food and resource economics student, began taking classes in Fall, John Hines, the UF public records and public affairs coordinator, wrote in an email. Police confirmed the broom was used to break the window and enter the home, according to the report. The damage is estimated to be $100. When approached by officers, Kobes did not comply with commands and continued gripping the broom, according to the report. Police used a K-9 unit to apprehend Kobes. The owner of the home said no one had permission to enter his home, and the broom was moved from where it was originally left outside, according to the report. Kobes told officers he was drinking in Midtown earlier that evening and had no memory of breaking into the house, according to the report. Kobes was arrested on charges of burglary, criminal mischief and resisting an officer without violence. Authorities took him to the Alachua County Jail where he remains, as of press time, without bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sylvie Re: Link exchange Dear Webby, I keep getting mail from people wanting me to exchange links with them. They promise that it would include traffic to my site. Is there any truth to that? Sylvie Dear Sylvie Quite the opposite. If the search engines catch you linking to those spammers, then they penalize you and dump your hard earned ranking. Forget the rethoric and BS of the self styled Search Engine Optimizers. 99.99% of them are clueless con artists. The search engines spend very serious money to be relevant, to show what you are looking for, and NOT showing some irrelevant garbage promoted by search engine "experts" trying to sneak around the rules. Just make sure your content is relevant and matches your site title, and you'll soon rank high in the search engines. Have FUN! DearWebby
A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Painting Old Windows With a few inexpensive supplies you can create your own faux stained glass window to display in your home. This is a guide about painting faux stained glass on old windows. I got this old window at a salvage store. $5.00. I used clear Elmer's glue mixed with a small amount of acrylic paint to create faux stained glass paint. I outlined my pattern with black paint that comes with a tip. Then I added embellishments and presto, trash to treasure. By Bruzier from Omaha, Ne I used to do a lot of that in the 70's. You can get cheap acrylic (plexiglass), and "Liquid Leading" at craft stores. It is lead grey and comes in a needle tip toothpaste tube. You pencil your design and run a bead of leading along the pencil line. Then you put a few drops of filler into the fields. You can use any outdoor varnish with a bit of paint from the same brand added. Acrylic, not Latex! If you have some money, you can get different "wrinklers" for stained glass. A drop of that into a freshly filled field will give it a starburst or spiderweb texture. Very pretty! Then you put the plexiglass behind the clear glass on a door or top window. Easy and VERY artsy and very expensive looking! Have FUN! DearWebby
how to catch fish while water skiing
____________________________________________________ To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not at all try to understand her. ____________________________________________________
This transparent graffiti illusion is awesome!
A question had appeared in a students' medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed to his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in very attractive containers.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 5

1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition
led by Benedict Arnold. 

1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to
offer piggy-back rail service which was the transportation
of farm wagons on trains. 

1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm
Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became
known as X-rays. 

1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond
called for a revolt against British rule. 

1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for the
very first time. 

1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a new
daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday. 

1925 Mrs. Nellie Taylor Ross was sworn in as the governor of
Wyoming. She was the first female governor in the U.S. 

1933 In California, construction of the Golden Gate Bridge

1934 Both the National and American baseball leagues decided
to use a uniform-size baseball. It was the first time in 33
years that both leagues used the same size ball. 

1940 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) got its
very first demonstration of FM radio. 

1944 The London "Daily Mail" was the first transoceanic
newspaper to be published. 

1948 Warner Brothers-Pathe showed the very first color
newsreel. The footage was of the Tournament of Roses Parade
and the Rose Bowl football classic. 

1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two legs
for the first time. 

1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the development
of the space shuttle. 

1987 U.S. President Ronald Reagan underwent prostate

1993 The state of Washington executed Westley Allan Dodd. It
was America's first legal hanging since 1965. Dodd was an
admitted child sex killer. 

1996 Yahya Ayyash, a member of the Hamas in Israel, is
killed by a booby-trapped cellular phone. 

1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono died in skiing accident.

2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, crashed a
small plane into a building in Tampa, FL. Bishop was about
to begin a flying lesson when he took off without permission
and without an instructor. 

2016  smiled.

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Garbled emails 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, January 4

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Wisconsin bonehead arrested after he belly-flopped
onto windshield of Wisconsin police car
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 4 in 
1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales 
was published by "Billboard" magazine. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. --- Mae West (1892 - 1980) Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. --- Will Rogers ___________ Right. Always cuss in Latin. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced. The wife answered the door. "Come in," she said. The other couple came in,sat down, then asked, "Where's John?" "Oh," replied his wife,"he's in the bathroom, grouting and spackling." "Oh, dear," said the other lady, "I had that once and didn't get over it for two weeks. ______________________________________________________ The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Romano, 25, Menasha, Wisconsin Wisconsin bonehead arrested after he belly flopped onto windshield of Wisconsin police car The 25-year-old Wisconsin resident rang in the New Year by performing an exquisite belly flop atop the windshield of a police cruiser. Romano, for some reason, charged the stationary squad car shortly after midnight Sunday. As he reached the vehicle’s front end, Romano launched himself into the air. Upon landing, Romano smashed the windshield of the cruiser, which was occupied by a Menasha Police Department officer. After a scuffle with cops, Romano was taken into custody and transported to a local hospital for treatment. He was then booked into the county jail on multiple charges, including battery on a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct, and criminal damage to property. Investigators say that Romano (seen above) “had been drinking” prior to his ill-conceived execution of the January 1 belly flop in Menasha, a city about 35 miles south of Green Bay. According to his LinkedIn page, Romano works as a customer service manager at Walmart. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Debby Re: Garbled emails Dear Webby, The humor letter is great Thanks! I hope you can give me a little insight as to why I receive emails that is full of useless words, just words all garbled up. Is it some kind of code or something? Some emails are the entire thing, some have just a paragraph at the end of a letter. Thanks, Debby Dear Debby Spam is for trashing, not for getting philosophical about. They are just putting crap in there to try and sneak past spam control programs, and then show their phony ads as a picture. Obviously, somebody who uses such a crooked approach is a crook, and not worth your time or money. Just trash their garbage. Have FUN! DearWebby
I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions ... and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"
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Daily tip from Lip Balm By Becky Miles [100 Posts, 158 Comments] My lips have been so dry lately and I couldn't find my usual lip stuff. Instead of going out and buying yet another one, I made some. I had all the ingredients, but that's because I make lots of homemade hand salves and foot balms, etc. The most expensive supply is the beeswax. You can buy the beeswax pastilles. I bought a huge 1 pound block with a 60% off coupon at the craft store (for about $5) and I grated it myself. It took some work and I don't recommend using a grater that you want to use again for food (it is hard to clean off). But, it has lasted a long time and I use it a lot. This lip balm worked perfectly. My lips are no longer dry and I saved a few bucks! Total Time: 10 minutes, plus cooling time Yield: 3 containers Source: Supplies: 1 Tbsp grated beeswax, to act as your moisturizer 1 Tbsp coconut oil, to promote hydration a dash of honey - The instructions call for raw honey, but I had none. Regular honey worked, too. 2 vitamin E capsules (I didn't have the capsules, so I squirted in what seemed like 2 capsules-worth) pot to heat water clean can or glass jar containers to put your lip balm in Steps: Heat a small pan with about 1 inch of water to simmering. I use an old pot that I don't cook with. Take a small clean metal can and add the grated beeswax. If you are opposed to using the can, you could use a glass jar. It's hard to clean out, but you could use it over and over again. Add the can or glass jar to the water. Melt the beeswax about halfway. Add the coconut oil and honey. Stir with a plastic utensil, chopstick, or Popsicle stick. Once the mix hardens, it's hard to clean off. Use something that you don't mind tossing. Once melted, carefully take the can out of the pan of water. Use a towel or potholders. I squish my can so that it has a spout to pour out without getting the mixture all over my counter. Pour into your containers. I had a couple of old lip stuff containers. I also poured some into a cleaned baby food container. Don't touch your containers as they cool. It takes about 15 to 20 minutes to harden. Enjoy!
how to catch fish while water skiing
____________________________________________________ The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred In R. D. Jones' ad yesterday. It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M." WEDNESDAY: Notice: R. D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale -- R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him." THURSDAY: Notice: I, R. D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I intentionally broke it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she has now quit. ____________________________________________________
This transparent graffiti illusion is awesome!
After setting off the alarm while passing through a metal detector at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas, a traveler was asked by a security agent if she had any change in her pockets. "Gee," she says, turning towards her husband, I told you we should of gone to Florida instead. Here everyone expects to be tipped."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 4
1850 The first American ice-skating club was organized in
Philadelphia, PA. 

1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London. 

1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful
appendectomy. The patient was Mary Gartside. 

1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was
published by "Billboard" magazine. 

1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British
Fifth Army in Italy. 

1948 Britain granted independence to Burma. 

1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist
Chinese forces captured the city of Seoul. 

1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick

1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth from
its orbit. The craft had been launched on October 4, 1957. 

1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without
conductors and motormen. 

1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for $13

1984 Wayne ‘The Great One’ Gretzky scored eight points (four
goals and four assists) for the second time in his National
Hockey League (NHL) career. Edmonton’s Oilers defeated the
Minnesota North Stars, 12-8. The game was the highest-
scoring NHL game to date. 

1991 The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to condemn
Israel's treatment of the Palestinians in the occupied

1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to buy
S-300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia. 

1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the
Norwegian oil tanker Joelm. The fisherman had been lost at
sea for 35 days after the engine of their vessel quit

1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn in
as Minnesota's 37th governor. 

2007 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of
Representatives. She was the first woman to hold the

2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai (Dubai
Tower) opened as the world's tallest tower at 2,625 feet. 

2016  smiled.

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Leaving mail on the server 

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, January 3

Have FUN!

Todays Bonehead Award:
Teen stole cop car after being cuffed for drunk driving
Details at  Boneheads
Today, January 3 in 
1496 References in Leonardo da Vinci notebooks suggested
that he tested his flying machine. The test didn't succeed
and he didn't try to fly again for several years. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. --- Terry Pratchett Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples. --- François La Rochefoucauld What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. --- Oscar Levant If marriage were outlawed, then only outlaws would have inlaws. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher asked her students why they had to be quiet during the Church service. One bright little girl replied "Because people are sleeping." ______________________________________________________ I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor Where is the Gullible Warming? ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dekota Locklear, 18, Lumberton, NC Teen stole cop car after being cuffed for drunk driving A North Carolina teen humiliated three NYPD cops early Sunday by escaping a Manhattan DWI checkpoint in a police cruiser — despite having been tossed into the back seat with his hands cuffed behind his back, law enforcement sources said. Police brass were weighing disciplinary action against the two cops whose marked patrol car was stolen and taken on a joyride, then ditched about 12 miles away in Yonkers, the sources said. “Somebody’s getting suspended,” one high-ranking police source said. But the cops claim they were ordered by a sergeant to leave Dekota Locklear, 18, alone in the car — which had no divider between the front and back — before hauling him off to the 33rd Precinct station house in Washington Heights. “The sergeant wanted to get another arrest. He told them to put Locklear in the car,” said a source familiar with the incident. “It was cold out and they left the engine on because they didn’t want him to freeze,” the source added. “It was all under the sergeant’s orders and there weren’t enough people to do a checkpoint.” A law enforcement source said Sunday night that the sergeant and both cops were under investigation for the debacle. The caper, which could have come straight out of “The Dukes of Hazzard,” began unfolding around 2 a.m. at 158th Street and the Henry Hudson Parkway. Dekota Locklear in an undated Facebook photoFacebook Locklear, of Lumberton, NC, was stopped while driving a black 2008 Hyundai through the checkpoint and placed under arrest for having bloodshot eyes and failing a sobriety test, sources said. While in the back seat of the police car, Locklear maneuvered his hands in front of his body, then allegedly slipped into the driver’s seat and took off. “He climbed over the seat and took the vehicle,” court papers state. The NYPD used GPS technology to find the cruiser abandoned near the Saw Mill River Parkway in Yonkers. One of its sides had been damaged in a collision, according to police sources. The car was left in a parking space hidden by trees on Saw Mill River Road, a neighbor said. Following its discovery, about 50 cops with search dogs and high-powered lights beat the bushes in the heavily wooded area, according to the neighbor. Locklear — who has a lengthy rap sheet, including a kidnapping charge in North Carolina — was busted nearby around 4:10 a.m., according to police sources. He was charged with a slew of crimes, including grand larceny and reckless endangerment. The teen was arraigned Sunday night and ordered held in lieu of $50,000 bond. The suspect’s Facebook account features photos that show him flashing gang signs and holding firearms. He was traveling with an unidentified 13-year-old boy at the time of his arrest, sources said. It was unclear what happened to the kid. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Farah Re: Re: Leaving mail on the server Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I have to go to the East for four days to a conference and asked my ISP if I can read my mail from there but leave it on the server till I get back to my home machine. I have done that with other ISP's before and they were quite OK with it as long as I told them before each trip. This one went right hysterical and she threatened to cut me off if I get caught doing that. Have there been any changes regarding mail that I am not aware of? Farah Dear Farah The only change is that some ISP's hire dumber boneheads than they used to. Considering how silly that one is, I doubt that they can even tell if you have checked your mail. All they can see is the total size of your mailbox. Most hotel guest machines and cybercafe machines are set to "leave mail on the server" and not to delete it. Just use them like that and then download and delete the mail off the server when you get back home. I would be willing to bet that they won't notice that for those 4 days. And with THAT ISP, don't waste your time telling them about any trips that you go on. Have FUN! DearWebby
When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "It certainly wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the best towels we had... the ones we got from the Hotel when we were on vacation."
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Daily tip from Bean and Bacon Soup Souper quick and souper easy ;-) Ingredients: 6 strips bacon 1 small celery stalk, finely chopped 1 medium onion, finely chopped 4 tsp. minced garlic 2 (15 oz.) cans white kidney beans, not drained 2 cups water 2 Tbsp. fresh parsley, chopped salt and pepper, to taste Directions: Cook the bacon in a large saucepan over medium heat until crisp, about 6 to 8 minutes. Transfer bacon with a slotted spoon to a paper or cloth towel, let cool and break into small pieces. Return the saucepan with bacon drippings to medium heat, add the celery, onion, and garlic and cook for 3 to 4 minutes, or until celery and onion are just tender, stirring well. Add the beans and water and bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer for 10 minutes. Uncover and partially mash the bean mixture until it thickens slightly. Stir in the parsley, bacon, salt, and pepper to taste and serve. By Deeli from Richland, WA
The Snowman - classic!
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Diana for this one: Jack was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was an absolute wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" Jack asked "Oh man... I've been transferred to California," the other guy answered, there's crazy people in California and they have shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, the highest crime rate..." "Hold on," Jack interrupted, "I've lived in California all my life, and it is not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The other passenger relaxed and stopped shaking for a moment and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?" "Me?" said Jack, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck in Oakland." ____________________________________________________
This transparent graffiti illusion is awesome!
>From Susan: In the early 1990's, when I was stationed at Caserna Carlo Ederle in Italy, it was very common to see soldiers riding bicycles back and forth to work. So it came as no big surprise that, after a series of painfully comic accidents, a new policy was announced, saying in summary, "Soldiers shall no longer salute officers who are engaged in the riding of a bicycle."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today on January 3
1496 References in Leonardo da Vinci notebooks suggested
that he tested his flying machine. The test didn't succeed
and he didn't try to fly again for several years. 

1521 Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther. 

1777 The Battle of Princeton took place in the War of
Independence, in which George Washington defeated the
British forces, led by Cornwallis. 

1815 By secret treaty, Austria, Britain, and France formed a
defensive alliance against Prusso-Russian plans to solve the
Saxon and Polish problems. 

1823 Stephen F. Austin received a grant from the Mexican
government and began colonization in the region of the
Brazos River in Texas. 

1825 The first engineering college in the U.S. , Rensselaer
School, opened in Troy, NY. It is now known as Rensselaer
Polytechnic Institute. 

1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the
South Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the
islands from the British, but Britain took them back after a
74-day war. 

1868 The Shogunate was abolished in Japan and Meiji dynasty
was restored. 

1871 Henry W. Bradley patented oleomargarine. 

1888 The drinking straw was patented by Marvin C. Stone. 

1924 English explorer Howard Carter discovered the
sarcophagus of Tutankhamen in the Valley of the Kings, near
Luxor, Egypt. 

1925 In Italy, Mussolini announced that he would take
dictatorial powers. 

1938 The March of Dimes was established by U.S. President
Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The organization fights
poliomyelitis. The original name of the organization was the
National Foundation for Infantile Paralysis. 

1947 In Trenton, NJ, Al Herrin, passed away at age 92. He
had claimed that he had not slept at all during his life. 

1951 NBC-TV debuted "Dragnet." 

1957 The Hamilton Watch Company introduced the first
electric watch. 

1959 In the U.S., Alaska became the 49th state. 

1961 The U.S. severed diplomatic relations with Cuba. 

1962 Pope John XXIII excommunicated Cuban prime minister
Fidel Castro. 

1967 Jack Ruby died in a Dallas, TX, hospital. 

1973 The Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS) sold the New
York Yankees to a 12-man syndicate headed by George
Steinbrenner for $10 million. 

1980 Conservationist Joy Adamson, author of "Born Free," was
killed in northern Kenya by a servant. 

1983 Tony Dorsett (Dallas Cowboys) made the longest run from
scrimmage in NFL history. Dorsett ran 99 yards in a game
against the Minnesota Vikings. 

1984 A woman died at Disneyland after falling from a ride.
She had apparently unfastened her seatbelt while on the
Matterhorn bobsled.

1990 Ousted Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega surrendered to
U.S. forces, 10 days after taking refuge in the Vatican's
diplomatic mission, which was blasted with loud rock music
intended to drive him insame.

1995 WHO reported that the cumulative total of officially
reported cases of AIDS had risen to 1,025,073 in 192
countries as at the end of 1994. 

1998 China announced that it would spend $27.7 billion to
fight erosion and pollution in the Yangtze and Yellow river

1999 Israeli authorities detained, and later expelled, 14
members of Concerned Christians. Israili officials claimed
that the Denver, CO-based cult was plotting violence in
Jerusalem to bring about the Second Coming of Christ. 

2000 Charles M. Schulz's final original daily comic strip
appeared in newspapers. 

2001 The ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms)
charged the "Texas 7" with weapons violations. An autopsy
showed that Officer Aubrey Hawkins, killed by the convicts,
had been shot 11 times and run over with a vehicle. 

2004 NASA's Spirit rover landed on Mars. The craft was able
to send back black and white images three hours after

2016  smiled.

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