Dear Webby: Juno.com email problems 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  March 10, 2009


Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex
George had minor surgery after a bad accident and gets on the bus one afternoon. He looks quite bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the anesthetic staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly woman. She looks George up and down and screeches at him: "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" George jumps up out of his seat and shouts: "Hold it, driver. I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks toDianne for sending this picture:
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time,a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screamed, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Harry Jackson, 25, Camden County, Georgia Convict caught breaking into prison An escaped prisoner has been arrested in the US after guards caught him trying to sneak back into the jail. Harry Jackson, 25, was spotted trying to slip back into the prison with 14 packs of cigarettes allegedly stolen from a nearby shop, authorities said. Sheriff Tommy Gregory said Jackson had opened the door to the exercise yard and climbed an outer fence to escape, reports the Daily Telegraph. Officers have alleged that Jackson walked a few hundred yards to a convenience store, took the cigarettes, and returned to the prison. Jackson was in jail in Camden County in southeast Georgia for charges including possession of a controlled substance and violating probation. He now faces new charges of breaking out of jail and burglary.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin ploughing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "The twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars may now return to class."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sarah Re: Could not open these pics Could not open these pics....... disappointed. sarah......@juno.com Dear Sarah Whenever Juno.com messes up your email, just browse to http://webby.com/humor and see what everybody else got in their email. Have FUN! DearWebby
An inter-church gathering was well attended when someone suddenly cried "FIRE!" The Methodists gathered in a corner to pray. The Baptists hollered "Everyone in the water !" The Lutherans nailed a paper to the door declaring fire was evil. The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out in an orderly manner. The Unitarians concluded the fire had as much right to be there as anyone. The Christian Scientists agreed there really wasn't a fire. The 7th Day Adventists said it was "the vengeance of an angry God." The Presbyterians formed a committee to study the problem. The Catholics passed the plate to cover the damages. The janitor grabbed a fire extinguisher and put the fire out.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Pizza Cutter Use Foil On Ironing Board Put foil under your ironing board cover to help insulate it. The foil will help heat the underside of the item you are pressing. Actually, foil conducts the heat away. To keep the heat confined to a small area, use the opposite, a good insulator like felt. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Two young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed and discussing any abnormalities with each other that they may have seen in passers-by. They saw this old fellow sort of duck waddling down the street at a slow pace. The two students introduced themselves to the gentleman and told him that they didn't agree with each others diagnosis of the old mans problem. One says, "my friend thinks you have a bad case of hemorrhoids, and I think you have a hernia." The old man said, "Well, I thought it was a going to be fart, but it looks like all three of us were wrong with our guessing."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Big Cheese
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 162 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 630 )
Dear Webby: Availability of XP 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  March 9, 2009


The truth is rarely pure and never simple. --- Oscar Wilde I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. --- Franklin P. Adams
"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own TV, phone, computer and DVD player. "So what do you do?" asked his friend. "I send him to MY room!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


The lawyer emailed his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Do you want us to order burial or cremation ?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both, but not in that order."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ricky Lee Sample, 47, Fort Worth, Texas Grandma chases down purse snatcher FORT WORTH, Texas (UPI) -- A Texas grandmother said she jumped in her car and chased down a man who shoved her and snatched her purse in a Fort Worth parking lot. Val Renfro, 65, said she was getting into her car outside of an Office Depot when a man, identified by police as Ricky Lee Sample, 47, pushed her twice, snatched her purse and fled on foot, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported Wednesday. Renfro dialed 911 on her cell phone and began chasing the man in her car. She gave the operator a detailed description of the suspect while she followed the suspect and shouted for him to give her purse back or she would hit him with her car. The mother of three and grandmother of four said she hit the man once with her car but he continued running until bystanders who joined the chase on foot cornered the suspect and retrieved the purse. Renfro said Sample shouted apologies to her when they both arrived at the police station. She was giving a statement and he was under arrest on a charge of aggravated robbery. "I thought, 'How do I respond to that?'" she said. "He said it a third time and I said, 'Apology accepted. God bless you.'" Sample was held at the Mansfield Jail in lieu of $20,000 bail.
Michael strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to a Mrs. Rogers." "Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?" Michael says, "Since he found out that the birth control pills that you prescribed for me did nothing about my hemorrhoids, and the salve you prescribed for Mrs Rogers did not stop her from getting pregnant."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chuck Re: Which XP ? Dear Webby, I've got a question that maybe, if you can answer it, will help more people than just me. A non-profit that I work with just received several pcs as a gift, but the operating systems have been wiped off the hard drive. They didn't include the install disks, so now we are looking to buy Windows XP for all of them. I can find several XP versions on the internet. Some of them going for as low as $55-$60. Would this be what I'm looking for or do I need a more complete/costlier version? And can one XP disk be used for several machines? Thanks for all your fantastic tips and help! Chuck Dear Chuck XP-SP2 is the best version. XP-SP3 may or may not work on those older machines. XP-SP2-PRO can be installed on two machines, preferably o the same network. The normal price for XP-SP2 is $90 - $120 If you see something drastically lower than that, proceed with extreme caution! It could be pirated or just a tutorial, or with the serial number in active use. Last time I checked, Tigerdirect still had legitimate XP-SP2 CDs, but their stock won't last much longer. Investing in XP-SP2 CDs is probably the wisest move, if you have any spare cash. By the time Windoows 7 comes out, the price will have more than doubled. Have FUN! DearWebby
The cowboy who was preparing the horses for the tourists asked a lady she wanted a Western or an English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic out here."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Pizza Cutter For quick and easy cleanup, don't wait for cheese and sauce to dry on your pizza cutter. Rinse it off right after you cut the pizza and clean up will be a snap. http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf55199969.tip.html Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Arthur came home after a late-night poker game and was greeted by Donna, his nagging, sourpussed wife. "And just where have you been all night?," Donna screeched at him. "Playing cards," says Arthur, "but that's not important. What matters is that I lost you to Bubba Smith." "Lost me!!" Donna screamed, "How did you manage that?" "It was a heartbreaker," Michael admitted. "I had to fold with a royal flush."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: American Legends
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 126 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 879 )
Dear Webby: Not receiving subscriptions 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  March 8, 2009


Time change tonight in many parts of North America! Daylight Saving Donut In the U.S., Arizona doesn’t observe Daylight Saving Time, but the Navajo Nation (parts of which are in three states) does. However, the Hopi Reservation, which is entirely surrounded by the Navajo Nation, doesn’t observe DST. There is a donut-shaped area of Arizona that does observe DST, but the “hole” in the center does not. There is a list of when different countries change to Summer time at Summer Time
was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to Verue for these pictures: I just took these pictures (at 7:30 at night) of a male Cardinal in the Magnolia Fuscata Tree that is on the side of my house. I got within 2 feet of it and it just sat there while I took about 10 pictures with the flash of it. These were the best of the 10 Verue
A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He had them lined up and was preaching to them. The mother turned around to do some work. A while later she heard meowing and scratching on the door. She went to the window and saw Johnny baptizing the kittens. She opened the window and said, "Johnny, stop that! You'll drown those kittens." Johnny looked at her and said with much conviction in his voice: "They should had thought of that before they joined my church."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Hart Rentals in Madison, Wisconsin Wrong apartment cleared of belongings MADISON, Wis. (UPI) -- Police say a Madison, Wis., man who returned home to find his apartment cleared out later found his landlord had mistakenly emptied the wrong residence. Investigators said Edward Peterson, 36, flagged down a police officer after returning to his downtown apartment on the afternoon of Feb. 20 to find all of his furniture and belongings had been cleared out during the five hours he was away, The Capital Times of Madison reported Tuesday. The officer, Nicholas Ellis, discovered that Peterson's landlord at Hart Rentals had instructed a maintenance worker to clean out the apartment. Unfortunately, Peterson's apartment shared the same number as a unit located in another building that was supposed to be cleared out.. Peterson said he recovered most of his property from the trash bin where it had been dumped, except for about 150 CDs, a boom box, 10 DVDs, about 100 astrology-related books, about $300 cash, a cell phone, credit cards and other items remain missing. His TV and remote control were returned after the maintenance worker took them to Hart Rental's maintenance office. Shirley Eckes, business manager of Hart Rentals, told Ellis that "whatever is missing from Peterson's apartment we will make him whole again," the police report of the incident said. The report did not say if criminal charges were being sought.
"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done? My aim is much better than yours!..."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Not receiving subscriptions Dear Webby, I'm no longer receiving your newsletter. I tried subscribing again, but was told I was already subscribed so I still can't get your newsletter. What else can I do? Thanks, Helen Dear Helen That means your subscription is being sent out to you every night. You will have to contact Centurytel Support and demand that they let you have your subscription, or pay you for your loss. Have FUN! DearWebby
A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel in England to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw away from the beach," he was told. "But how will I recognize it?" asked the man. Back came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Zoo Memberships If you have a zoo near buy, consider buying a zoo membership to save money and have fun. While admission tickets seem quite expensive if you are going for the day, family memberships are usually very reasonable. If you go just once a month, the membership price is well worth while. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Little Johnny's class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence with a direct object. Little Johnny stood and thought, then said, "Teacher, I think you have lost weight." "Why thank you, Little Johnny," the teacher said, blushing. "But what is the direct object?" "A good report card next month," he replied.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: American Legends
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 100 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 640 )
Dear Webby: Only one choice of monitor refresh rates 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  March 7, 2009


The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced. --- Frank Zappa Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. --- Herbert Hoover
Thanks to Sandie for this story: On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there's no I in the word marriage." The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


Thanks to Sandie for this story: In the office where I work, there's a constant battle between our technical support director and customer service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too high. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah, right. So, how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kari Heath, 20 of Strum, Wisconsin Felony Charge For Craigslist Prank Cops: Posing as ex-boyfriend, Wisconsin woman placed "talk dirty" ad MARCH 5--Meet Kari Heath. The Wisconsin woman, 20, is facing a felony charge for allegedly posing as an ex-boyfriend and posting a Craigslist personals ad seeking other men to call him at work and "talk dirty to him." According to a criminal complaint, a copy of which you'll find here, Heath placed the ad last month after arguing with her boyfriend Joseph Strasburg. The ad, which was posted in Craigslist's "Casual Encounters" section, included several photos of the 24-year-old Strasburg, including one explicit image, and his business phone number. Heath's former beau contacted cops when a man called him about the online ad. Strasburg, 24, told investigators that Heath subsequently sent him a text message admitting responsibility for the prank, which resulted this week in her arrest for identity theft. When interviewed by police, Heath admitted placing the online ad in Craigslist's "personal column, homosexual section."
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Shortly thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said, "I've discovered what runner's euphoria is." When we questioned this, he explained, "Runner's euphoria is what I experience at 5:30am on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Monitor Frequency Dear Webby, Hi..I tried to pull down another number but 60 was the only choice... how do I put in another number please.. Thanks as always. ???? Ann Dear Ann If 60 is the only choice you got, then that's it. You can not insert unlisted choices. Make sure your actual monitor is selected, and not a generic default monitor. You might have to change that from generic to "Plug-And-Play", so that Windows queries the monitor for it's make and model and abilities. Have FUN! DearWebby
I requested identification from a department store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase. After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address. It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Swap Out Bad Socks For Good When I buy socks for my husband, I buy at least 6 of the largest packages that I can find. I open one or two packages and put the rest in the closet. When one wears out (and after it's been mended several times), I save the good sock and match it with another sock. When several wear out, I introduce several new pairs into his stash. They last years this way and he always has matching pairs. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks to Sandie for this story: Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So, when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight. I wrote, "Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f. In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your program." A minute later, I got this reply, "Mine must be dephective."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Extreme Body Parts
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 216 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 689 )
Dear Webby: Monitor refresh rate 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  March 6, 2009
Time to wear something red to show your support for the troops!


"Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." --- John F. Kennedy In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it. ---George Bernard Shaw For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. --- Gloria Borger
Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?' said the do-gooder. 'It's too late,' replied Murphy. 'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one. 'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
A 16-year old comes home and says "Dad, I just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car." Father replies, "O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, keep the yard trimmed, and cut your hair. Come back when you've done all of that." Well, a month passes and the son approaches his dad, report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?" Father replies, "But, son, you didn't cut your hair." Son says, "But, Dad, Jesus had long hair." Father replies, "Yes, son, you're right. He never got to drive either."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to police in Liverpool, England Motorist stopped by police for laughing A Liverpool motorist was stopped by a police officer and questioned - for laughing at the wheel of his car. Gary Saunders was using a hands-free phone when he burst out laughing at a joke told by his brother-in-law. A few moments later he noticed a traffic officer flashing his lights at him and gesticulating at him to stop his Renault. When Mr Saunders got out of his car, the policeman told him: "Laughing while driving a car can be an offence." The officer spent half an hour questioning the company director and ordered him to produce his licence and other documents at a police station. Mr Saunders, managing director of Spontex Workwear, said the delay meant that he missed an important appointment. "I couldn't believe it when he told me I'd been pulled over for laughing," he said. "I was driving very safely in the Birkenhead Tunnel and took a call. Supt Kevin Hagger, of the Mersey Tunnels Police, said: "There is no record of the incident in the system so it seems the gentleman was just spoken to by the officer and the matter not taken any further."
It may still be winter where you are, but in South Carolina it's the season of the big spring mosquitos. The other evening, a man walked out into his yard and two mosquitos picked him up. As they lifted him, one says to the other, "Let's take him down by the lake and have a picnic." The other one said, "No way ! If we carry him down there, the big mosquitos will take him away from us."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Monitor Frequency Dear Webby, 1st- thanks so much for sharing all your news, jokes pic, & tech advice. I have had a lot of laughs & learned a lot of useful tips. In the past couple of letters you've talked about changing the momitor frequency. How do I do that? I have a dell w/ windows xp. Also what is the difference between 16 bit color & 32 bit? Again, thanks for all your help. Dear Sharon The monitor frequency can be changed with the buttons on some monitors, and in the Display properties on others. Rightclick the desktop Properties Settings Advanced Monitor In there pull down the Screen Refresh rate selector, and choose any number other than 60 Hz. In Europe, where the fluorescents flicker at 50 Hz, choose any number other than 50.. You will be surprised at how much better pictures look! Have FUN! DearWebby
The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!" So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart, with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome.. The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!" "Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning With Vinegar You can save on cleaning products by using white vinegar and newspaper to clean your windows, windows come out sparkling clean. You can also use white vinegar for washing your floors, add 1/2 cup white vinegar to last rinse cycle of your wash to control static cling. Also white vinegar is good for cleaning coffeemakers, tea kettles, tea pots, coffee and tea mugs. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a guy with his name had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "Graduated in 1955." "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Singapore Air Show
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 190 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 1627 )
Dear Webby, is "is.gd" safe ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  March 5, 2009


"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help." --- Judith Martin
"You seem to have more than average intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath to speak the truth, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to my dad for this picture: It was too stormy on the terrace, ice needles flying horizontally. Nice and warm in the mountain top restaurant.
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ahmed Boyer, 36 in Vienna, Austria Groom robbed banks to pay for wedding A desperate bridegroom staged four bank robberies after his wife-to-be's plans for a huge white wedding got out of hand. The groom netted more than £300,000 in the heists in Austria before he was caught. But it still wasn't enough for his fiancee who demanded 500 guests, a Chanel gown, a new car for the drive to the service and a Caribbean honeymoon. Ahmed Boyer, 36, was caught when an off duty policeman grabbed him as he fled a bank in Vienna. "The wedding was costing a lot of money and I realised I would never be able to pay for it," he told the court. "The money from the first robbery went in a day so I just kept going." He faces jail.
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "The nurse told me that I will be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor. "Hmmm, then I better start learning to read sheet music!"
From the Tech Support Pits: A lot of people wrote in and reported tat changing the monitor frequency stopped their eye problems and headaches instantly. From: Elmar Re: Are is.gd URLs safe? Dear Webby, Lately, especially on Twitter, people have sent me URLs with is.gd in the front. I don't even know where .gd is! Elmar Dear Elmar is.gd is just a site that shortens long URLs, similar to tinyurl.com, snipurl.com, etc. Some URLs, especially uTube movies, can be very long, much longer than the 140 characters you are allowed per message on Twitter. So you have to shorten it. Because is.gd is shorter than snipurl.com or tinyurl.com, it is rapidly becoming a favorite URL shortening site. I'll use the URL where you can see today's picture in full size, and even send it as a postcard, as an example: http://is.gd/lRGJ As you can see, it safely gets you there. The problem with most of the URL shortening sites is that somebody could send you to a bad site, without you knowing in advance. is.gd solved that problem. You can copu the shortened URL, paste it to the address bar and add a minus sign at the end. http://is.gd/lRGJ- Now, instead of directly going to the mystery site, it shows you the full and long URL. That makes it a lot safer. You can decide whether to go there or not, AFTER seeing the actual, long URL. Have FUN! DearWebby
An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Yard Sales for Garden Supplies When I moved into my first house, I didn't have any garden supplies at all. Since we had just closed, and money was tight. I went to yard sales looking for anything I could come across. I found lots of items, including a shovel, a pick, a pole saw, an axe and more. The pole saw was $10 (I got it at a flea market). The other items were $1 or $2. I also saw spreaders (the kind you use to fertilize the lawn) for around $5. By Tony Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor, who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, "Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile." "Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carr, with a giant grin on his face from ear to ear, "I thought you were going to want me to pay with money."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Italian Edibles
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 168 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 531 )
Dear Webby: Monitor related eye problems 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  March 4, 2009


Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a question and you're a fool for the rest of your life. --- Chinese Proverb
Two Venusians are walking down the street. One Venusian finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again. Puzzled, she says to the other one, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says the other Venusian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly! It's me!!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to Dusty for this picture:
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Derick Gates of Hoopa, California Man stole ambulance after crash EUREKA, Calif. (UPI) -- A 20-year-old California man stole an ambulance from paramedics sent out to help him after he crashed into some trees, police allege. The California Highway Patrol said after Derick Gates of Hoopa drove his car over a state Route 299 embankment, he refused treatment from responding paramedics and then made off with their emergency vehicle, the Eureka (Calif.) Times-Standard reported. The ambulance was then pursued by a Humboldt County Sheriff's Office deputy and a state patrol officer. The chase lasted an entire hour even though both of the ambulance's right tires deflated during the pursuit, police said. The officers eventually took Gates into custody after the ambulance finally broke down. The Times-Standard said Gates faces charges of stealing an emergency vehicle, driving under the influence of a controlled substance and evading a police officer.
Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them automatically said, "Hello, Father." The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no father, you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and got three kids!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cathi Re: Burning eyes Dear Webby, Your suggestion to Martina was excellent and probably will work. If it doesn't she may want to determine if the overhead fluorescent lighting in her office is the problem. I experience the same symptoms from fluorescent lights, particularly the energy saver type. My optometrist explained it too me, but I don't remember the details. Thanks for keeping me laughing. Cathi Dear Cathi Change the monitor refresh rate from 60 Hz to 72Hz or anything other than 60. In addition to that, tilt the monitor forward a bit. Have FUN! DearWebby
The most remarkable thing about Ernie's mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Finding Leaks in an Air Mattress Get a thin sheet of tissue paper, the kind you use for wrapping gifts. Make sure the room is relatively quiet and the mattress is full. Lay the tissue paper on the mattress and let it rest. If the hole is under the paper, it will make a very audible hissing noise. If you don't hear any hissing after a few seconds, move the paper to cover another area. By Brian Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"I'm so worried," the nervous patient said as the nurse plumped up his pillows. "Last week, I read about a man who was in the hospital because of heart trouble and he died of malaria." "Relax" the nurse said, smiling. "This is a first-rate hospital. When we treat someone for heart trouble, he dies of heart trouble."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Clearwater National Forest
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 182 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1553 )
Dear Webby: Monitor causing burning eyes 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  March 3, 2009


Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. --- Gail Godwin When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. --- Hermann Hesse
Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife's bedside table that said "Wake me at six." An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "It's six, you lazy bum! Get out of bed!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Burrowing Owl
was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said. turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lawrence Dove Sr., 61, Barrington, NJ Bank robber lives next to police BARRINGTON, N.J. (UPI) -- Authorities in New Jersey said a 61-year-old man accused of three bank robberies lives next door to a police station. The Camden County Prosecutor's Office said Lawrence Dove Sr., 61, was arrested Tuesday after his alleged third robbery at a Susquehanna Bank branch in Lawnside, N.J., the Camden Courier reported Thursday. Dove -- who is also accused of a Feb. 6 robbery at a Bank of America branch in Haddon Township and a Feb. 17 robbery at The Bank in Haddonfield -- lives next door to the Barrington municipal building and police department. Dove was seen near his home driving a car that matched a description of the vehicle used in the Susquehanna Bank robbery, prosecutors said. Police said during each of the robberies, Dove would hand a bank teller a note demanding money and would flee without openly displaying any weapons. Dove, who has not yet been indicted, was being held at the Camden County Correctional Facility in lieu of $225,000 bond.
Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!" "Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine." "What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Martina Re: Burning eyes Dear Webby, I have to work at the computer all day, but after three hours my eyes get sandy and burning, and my eyelids keep falling shut. Going outside with the smokers for five minutes clears the problem every time. My doctor told me to get a different job, but on weekends, I can work on my computer at home 12 - 14 hours and don't have any problem at all. What is your advice? Thanks Martina Dear Martina Turn down the brightness of your work computer and change the default background of open windows from white to a light blue. Beige or cornsilk works too for some people, but I would recommend that you try a light blue first. Have FUN! DearWebby
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "I'm sorry, your Honor," the startled witness said, "Five thousand is out of my league. I thought he was talking to you."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Milk My family doesn't like drinking powdered milk. So to save money. I have a big freezer and when milk is on sale I buy a lot. I pour a little off each gallon into the milk bottle in the fridge and then I freeze the rest. when the milk in the fridge is getting low I just go to the freezer and pull out what I need. It takes about 24 hours for it to thaw. I just set the bottles in the sink and when they are almost completely thawed I put them in the fridge. I am never out of milk this way. By Suzanne Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing all by yourself."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Penny Postcards
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 281 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 705 )
Dear Webby, can I use two keyboards? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  March 2, 2009


More powerful than the will to win is the courage to begin. --- Socratex There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 - 406 BC)
A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!" "Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

03 01 09. No gullible warming in Austria either.
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Joy Griffin, 37, of Dacula, Georgia Sex with public vacuum LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. (UPI) -- A Georgia man said he was unharmed after a wild ride on the hood of a car he had attempted to block from leaving the scene of a collision. Eric Hefton, 36, said he was heading home with his wife and 10-year-old son when he spotted an elderly man chasing a Nissan Altima in the parking lot of a gas station in Lawrenceville, the Atlanta Journal- Constitution reported Tuesday. Hefton said he got out of his family car and stood in front of the Altima at a red light outside of the gas station. The elderly man, Richard Januszewski, told him that the woman driving the Altima had side-swiped his car in the parking lot. Hefton said the woman inched her car forward while he and Januszewski were standing in front of it and eventually sped off, flinging Hefton onto the windshield. He said the woman attempted to shake him off by braking, swerving and accelerating quickly, but he held on until the woman rear-ended another vehicle and came to a stop about a quarter of a mile from the gas station. Hefton said he was miraculously unhurt after the ordeal. The woman, identified as Jennifer Joy Griffin, told police she had taken anti-anxiety medication Xanax and anti-psychotic drug Seroquel prior to the incident. She was charged with aggravated assault, hit and run, reckless driving and driving under the influence. Hefton said the incident struck more terror in his son than any slasher film. “After everything my son said, ‘Why’d you do that?’ and I said I didn’t have a choice,” Hefton said. “It was either that or get run over.”
The drunk was brought into night court, having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried. "I was going to a lecture." "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, schure," said the drunk. "Schometimes my wife schtarts 'em even later than that."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Erika Re: Two keyboards Dear Webby, Can I use two keyboards on the same computer without an expensive KVM switch? I have to use a curved and split keyboard because of an injury, but everybody else, especially my students, find it hard to get used to. Thanks Erika Dear Erika KVM switches are used for using one keyboard to control two or more computers. You hit a hot key, and keyboard, video, mouse and audio flip to the next machine. In your case, you simply plug the second keyboard into a USB port. Some computers will recognize input from the second keyboard instantly, some drop the first keystroke. You get around that easily by hitting the right and left arrow keys before you start typing. Have FUN! DearWebby
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Preparing Clothing for Washing Before laundering clothing, close zipper, snap naps, fasteners, and button buttons. That way your zippers and fasteners won't snag other clothing. The best time to do this is before you toss clothing in the dirty clothes hamper. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago to Bison, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there ! Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?" Click
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Tiny Creatures from the Deep
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 143 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 452 )
Dear Webby: Synchronizing time 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  March 1, 2009


Laugh, and the world laughs with you, snore, and you sleep alone. --- Anthony Burgess A person who trusts no one can't be trusted. -- Jerome Blattner The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. -- Lucille Ball
A well worn dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty arrived at the bureau of Engraving and Printing to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to the shredder they struck up a conversation. The twenty reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life." the twenty proclaimed. "I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise from Miami." "Wow!" said the single, "you really have gotten around." "So tell me", says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian Church, the Lutheran Church, the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church, Assembly of God Church, the Brethren Church, the United Church of Christ, ...." And the twenty says, "What's a church?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Re yesterday's picture, from Roseann If the picture was of last night's moon and lonely star, I saw it all the way in Guyana too. So it looks like it wasn't that lonely after all. Roseann
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jason L. Savage, 29, of Swan Creek, Michigan Sex with public vacuum Thursday February 26, 2009, 7:16 AM Jason L. Savage pleaded no contest to indecent exposure in a sex act involving a Thomas Township car wash vacuum. Savage, 29, of 11615 Swan Creek in Swan Creek Township entered the plea Wednesday in Saginaw County Circuit Court. A no contest plea means a defendant doesn't contest the prosecutor's evidence and accepts the punishment. Prosecutors agreed to dismiss a charge of aggravated indecent exposure. Circuit Judge Fred L. Borchard will sentence Savage on Wednesday, March 25. He faces up to a year in jail. Savage admitted in court he was on parole for fourth-degree fleeing from a police officer Oct. 14, 2004. Borchard told Savage the Department of Corrections could find that he violated terms of his parole by admitting to committing a crime. The report said a Thomas Township resident saw "someone acting suspicious" at a car wash about 6:45 a.m. Oct. 16 at 7362 Gratiot. A Thomas Township police officer parked some distance away, approached on foot and caught the man in the act, investigators said.
Frustrated at always being corrected by his wife, Harold decided the next time it happened, he would have a comeback. That moment arrived soon enough, and he was ready. "You know," he challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." Gina looked at him and replied, "Twice a day."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mark Re: Can't syncronize time Dear Webby, The clock on my computer goes about 4 minutes slow per month. I have been told, that is perfectly normal and to double-click the clock and click Internet time to syncronize it. However, when I try that, I just get an error that says Windows failed. Mark Dear Mark That is just your firewall not allowing the time server to tell your computer what to do. Just turn the firewall off for a minute, update the time, and turn the firewall on again. Have FUN! DearWebby
Junior was one of those holy terrors and dad was quite surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday. "Do you really believe that'll help improve his behavior ?" he asked. "Well, yes," she said, "it will be a lot more peaceful INSIDE the house."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090301@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottle Sewing Kit You can use a prescription bottle to make a little sewing kit for travel or as a gift for a college student. It's the perfect size to fit a couple small spools of thread, a few needles, a needle threader, a thimble and some buttons. If you can find an old, brass cigarette case at a yard sale, they are even better.They open like a book, and have elastic straps in it to hold cigarettes in place. You can tuck foldable scissors, seam rippers, etc under the straps, stick an array of needles into the straps. For buttons I use the stamp size coin collector's ziplock baggies and tuck them under the straps on the other side. Don't lend it out! Nobody will voluntarily return it. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Q. The truth of the matter is that you are not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas? A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Palm Trees
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 138 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 573 )
Dear Webby, how much RAM should I have? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  February 28, 2009


"We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts." -- Harold Nicholson "When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, 'The handle is one of us!'" -- Turkish proverb
A travelling salesman finds himself stranded in the tiniest town in Australia. He knocks on the door of a little hotel. "Sorry, we don't have a spare room," says the manager, "but you're welcome to share with a little red-headed schoolteacher, if that's okay." "Oh, that'll be great," says the bloke, grinning from ear to ear."And don't worry, I'll be a real gentleman." "Just as well," says the manager. "So will the little red-headed schoolteacher."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

From my office window. Moon and one lonely star ------------------------- Thanks to Patsy for this one: Tennessee Burglar
A lawyer was cross-examining a witness: "You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?" "No," the witness said. "I looked at the sundial in the garden." "That's absurd," screamed the lawyer. "How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?" "I had a flashlight," the witness said.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sandra Stephens-Foster, 60, Euless, Texas Police: Highway chase ends at tollbooth EULESS, Texas (UPI) -- Texas authorities said a high-speed chase ended Thursday when the driver stopped to pay a toll near Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. Police said Sandra Stephens-Foster, 60, sped away from an officer during a traffic stop at about 3:30 a.m. on State Highway 183 in Euless, The Dallas Morning News reported. Stephens-Foster continued on the road to Dallas before driving through the airport and stopping at the tollbooth at about 4:15 a.m., police said. She was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated and evading arrest. She was taken to the Euless jail.
A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband. The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "Oy vey! I said for you to marry a Rich Doctor! A Rich Doctor!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: How much RAM Dear Webby, I am "older" and this laptop is my first computer. My only lessons have been from reading your newsletter and I thank you so much. I feel I should be paying you for being my "tutor." Someone told me I need more Ram in my laptop. I have 256 right now. Do you think I do and if so how do I go about getting more? I appreciate all your help. Carolyn Dear Carolyn Yes, 256 MB is definitely crimping your style. Most computers nowadays run fine with 2000 MB (2 GB) Contact the maker of the machine and ask them if it can handle a RAM upgrade, and what kind of RAM you need. Once you have that info, you can shop around for the best price for RAM. Installing it is usually quite easy, if you have tiny screwdrivers, but it might be an affordable way to get to know your neighborhood computer fixer. You can probably trade the work for some baking. Have FUN! DearWebby
There was an elderly southern widow who lived in a large mansion. She was feeling generous when it came towards Easter, so she called up the local military base, and asked to speak with the lieutenant. "Please send up four nice young men to eat dinner here on Easter, but please, don't send any Jews. Please, no Jews." The lieutenant replied, "No problem ma'am, and I am sure I speak for the army when I say we all appreciate your kindness." Well, Easter rolled around, and the widow went to answer the door when it rang. She was surprised to see four of the blackest boys that anyone had ever seen, especially in the South. "But... But... There must be some mistake," she stammered. One of them replied, "No ma'am, lieutenant Morris Goldstein doesn't make mistakes."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Tea Always store loose tea in a container with a tight fitting lid to preserve the quality of the herbs. Even if your tea bags are individually wrapped, it's good to store them in a sealed container as well. Try to avoid plastic containers for tea. You are gambling on whether or not it will acquire a weird taste. Dark glass, ceramic or metal are best for tea. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and how he should repent at once, he asked if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the heart attack. The patient responded, "Don't be ridiculous, the attack only lasted 6 hours."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Montana Wildflowers
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 240 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 1439 )
Dear Webby: Debugging 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  February 2, 2009
Time to wear something red to show your support for the troops!


An idiot with a plan will beat a genius without a plan. --- Socratex "If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle." --- Jack Adams
On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that he left his left-turn indicator on and seems to have forgotten about it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Reed Flute Cave
Friday, we had a tornado drill. We were in the generator pit under underneath the garage and there's a PA announcement "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows." Somebody yelled out: "Quick, switch to UNIX!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Donna Greenwell, 51, Brandy Romero, 27, and Paul Romero, 46. Trio Swapped Kids For Bird Kidnapping charges filed in birdbrained Louisiana exchange FEBRUARY 26--A trio of Louisiana nitwits agreed to swap two young children for a $1500 cockatoo and $175, police charge. The deranged exchange was hatched after Donna Greenwell, a 51-year-old trucker, learned that the bird was being offered for sale by Brandy Romero, 27, and Paul Romero, 46. According to Evangeline Parish Sheriff's Office investigators, Brandy Romero told cops that Greenwell contacted her and said that while she could not afford the cockatoo's price tag, she did have children to trade In a bid to sell the bird, the Romeros posted a flyer at a barn, where Greenwell spotted the notice, which included a photo of the cockatoo. Investigators have determined that Greenwell is not the mother of the children, a four-year-old girl and a five-year-old boy. It appears as if the children, whose mother is a criminal fugitive, have resided with various families over the past several years, and have spent the past year in the custody of Greenwell, a convicted pedophile with a lengthy rap sheet. Greenwell and the Romeros, have each been charged with aggravated kidnapping. The children swapped for the bird are now living with a temporary foster family, according to investigator Keith Dupre, who added that the cockatoo was recovered from Greenwell's home, where two other birds resided. When confronted by deputies, Greenwell denied trading the children for the bird, which she claimed was simply given to her by the Romeros.
Groan Alert! What disease can you get from kissing birds? Chirpes! (A canarial disease, but it's untweetable.)
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Steff Re: Debugging Dear Webby, I love your newsletter, and have learned so much from your tech tips. I have a very annoying problem that I hope you can help me with. When I log into certain sites I get a message that there is a "runtime error" and asks "do you wish to debug?". I have selected "yes" a few times, but the (only) debug program - "new instance of Microsoft script editor" never goes through, I get a message "the URI to be decoded is not a valid encoding". Most of the time if I do not attempt debugging I am able to go to the site. Should I just put up with being annoyed, or is there something I can do? Microsoft charges $59 for support help. Thanks so much. Steff Dear Steff That debugging is a leftover from when they copied Netscape and made Internet Explorer. Somehow they can't quite get rid of it. Theoretically, Webmasters and page designers can use that feature for finding problems in java script in their pages. That part is not intended for end users. Just go into TOOLS, Internet Options, Advanced, and look for lines referring to script debugging. Take the checkmarks off those lines. After that, you won't see alerts about script errors any more. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man appears at a woman's front door and announces, "Madam, I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't send for a tuner," the piano-playing woman replies. "I know, lady," the man says. "Your neighbor did."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Wood Furniture When you are storing nice wood furniture, make sure you store it in a dry, well ventilated room. If you store it in a damp basement, you could discover moldy and warped furniture when you go to retrieve it. Don't get too carried away with the "well ventilated" bit. Unless it is as well varnished as a fiddle, it will absorb humidity on humid days. Best is to use furniture bags or tightly taped plastic. Just as important is proper and level stacking. Otherwise shelves turn into propellers and tables and chairs turn into rockers. Unless you have a definite time table for refinishing or using the furniture, your best bet is to sell it and put the money onto a furniture store lay-away plan for a future purchase. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a woman in her 20s and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asks a friend. "With her, your chances are better," says the friend, "if you tell her you're 90."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Reeds and Cat Tails
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 187 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 593 )
Dear Webby, what should be unplugged? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  February 26, 2009


Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones. --- Benjamin Franklin
A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and daddy get divorced?" The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything." Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old." The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds." "Where did you learn that?" The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


On a visit to Chicago, Jill was eager to visit a posh department store about a dozen blocks from their hotel. Her husband obligingly hailed a cab. They got in and he told the driver, "My wife wants to go to Neiman Marcus." The cabby looked over his shoulder at us and said, "And the gentleman? Does he want to go to the bank or the pawn shop?"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kennith Jenkins, Escambia County, Florida Naked Homeowner KO’s Burglar An Escambia County, Florida homeowner took the law into his own hands, literally. The man told deputies he was in the shower this morning when he heard a noise. His wife had already left for work, so he knew it wasn't her. He got out of the shower and found Kennith Jenkins rummaging through his bedroom. The 6'3", 285 pound homeowner hit Jenkins in the face. Jenkins fell to the floor and laid there, bleeding from the mouth, until deputies arrived. Jenkins was transported to West Florida Hospital to be treated for his injuries and then to the Escambia County Jail where he's being held on a $10,000 bond.
During a sermon the pastor stated that money wasn't important in the afterlife, because in heaven, there is no money. One parishioner loudly stage-whispered to his wife, "Did you hear that, Maude? We're already in heaven."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: What to unplug Dear Webby, I have a Dell laptop and at night I unplug it. Should I also turn off my 660 series that shows the Internet lights? Carolyn Dear Carolyn I imagine that your "660 series" is your cable modem. There is no need to shut the modem down. It has no moving parts that wear out. Modems usually become obsolete and are replaced with faster ones, long before they die of old age. If you use Voice Over IP telephone, then the modem also acts as a splitter, to peel off the phone channel, and your phones will stop working if you unplug the modem. As long as you have a surge protector before your power bar, it is best to leave th modem and router plugged in. Have FUN! DearWebby
Kathrina was visiting the modern art museum and turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she sneered, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Carry Extra Zip-Lock Bags When Traveling When you travel, throw in a few extra zip-lock bags. They are great for wet swimsuits, a half-full bottle of shampoo, some animal crackers for the car, or even to fill with ice at the motel to use in the cooler while you drive. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Hawaiian Wonderland
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 206 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 578 )
Dear Webby, Can you filter gmail by date? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  February 25, 2009


Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. --- Doug Larson If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. --- Al Bernstein
Jeff goes in to see the manager. "I have to have a raise, boss," the man says. "There are three other companies after me." "Is that so?" the manager says. "What companies are after you?" "The electric company, the telephone company and the gas company."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


Ronnie McInnis walked into a dentist's office and asked how much it would cost to extract a wisdom tooth. "That'll be $80," the dentist said. "That's ridiculous," Ronnie spat. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist said, "if I don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $60." "That's still too expensive," the man whined. "Okay," the dentist countered, "if I save on anaesthetic and simply rip the tooth out with extraction pliers, I could probably get away with charging $20." "Nope," moaned the man. "It's still too much." "Hmmm," the dentist pondered, scratching his head. "If I let one of my students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just $10." "Marvellous," the man beamed. "Could you book my wife for 5:30 next Friday, after she gets off work?"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Pittman, 37 in Pensacola, Florida Suspect tripped up by own pants PENSACOLA, Fla. (UPI) -- Authorities in Florida said a fleeing burglary suspect was arrested after he tripped over his own fallen pants. The Escambia County Sheriff's Office said a deputy responded to an alarm at Beer City in Pensacola, Fla., at about midnight Tuesday and saw a suspect fleeing through the smashed front door of the business with several packs of cigarettes in his arms, the Pensacola News-Journal reported. The officer said the suspect's armloads of cigarettes prevented him from holding up his sagging pants, causing the trousers to fall and trip the suspect. Sheriff's Office spokesman Sgt. Ted Roy said the deputy caught up to the suspect and "he had cigarettes scattered all around him and his pants were down by his ankles." The 37-year-old suspect, who was released from Escambia County Jail after posting $12,000 bond, was charged with criminal mischief, burglary, theft and possession of drug paraphernalia.
An American teacher asked one of her pupils, "What's the nation's capital?" The reply was, "Washington DC." On being asked what the 'DC' stood for, the pupil added, "Dot com!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shelly Re: Can you filter gmail by date? Dear Webby, I changed jobs an need to weed out old emails. Is there any way to make a filter that will dump all mails from a certain time period or from before a certain date? Thanks Shelly Dear Shelly No, you can't do that. Google has claimed that it is on their To-Do list for ages, but it doesn't look like they are getting an closer to it. Instead they are now selling extra space. The fastest way to weed out old mails is to change the settings to show 100 mails per page, click on OLDEST, Select ALL, and DELETE. Then just keep doing that, selecting and deleting 100 mails at a time, until you are up to the date, from which onward you want to keep mails. Yes, I kow that is slow and tedious, but currently that is the fastest possible method. Have FUN! DearWebby
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old daughter out for a drive in the car. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this Sunday she would take their daughter out. They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father. "Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with Mommy?" "Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what.......we didn't see a single bastid or dingbat, 'cause Mommy was doing the dingbat stuff herself, and scared them all away!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Debt Consolidation Warning Debt consolidation can offer a great opportunity for people with credit trouble. The problem many people have is that they then start using their newly paid off credit cards again and end up with even more debt. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. "In Texas," he drawls, "you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall." "Well", replies the Yankee, "We have some rather slow trains in Rhode Island too, but none that are THAT slow."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: American Food
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 150 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 1017 )
Dear Webby, What is Twitter, and how safe is it? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  February 24, 2009


You are not a product of your surroundings. You are a product of your own perceptions! --- Socratex I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not --- Robert G. Ingersoll Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. ---Scottish Proverb Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --- H. L. Mencken
A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Linda doing the bench press
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man! You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tom Mattice, Indianapolis WWII headline creates flap at VA hospital INDIANAPOLIS (UPI) -- The director of a VA hospital in Indiana has offended some veterans by removing a framed newspaper with the headline "Japs Surrender." The framed front page of the Indianapolis Times had been hanging at the Roudebush Veterans Affairs Medical Center for more than 60 years. Director Tom Mattice said he decided to take it down after a new employee complained about the display of an ethnic slur from World War II, the Indianapolis Star reported Wednesday. Ronald "Bud" Albright, who commands a Marine Corps League chapter, has launched a campaign to get the newspaper back on the wall. He hopes veterans from around the country will write to complain. "We feel it's a slap in the face of the U.S. military," he said. "That newspaper is history, part of United States history." ------------- When you read "Japs win soccer game" it's an innocuous abbreviation, but on an authentic newspaper announcing the end of WWII, it's a "racial slur" ? Sounds more like Mattice got a private Million Dollar + offer for that paper.
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Merseyside, Liverpool. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Merseyside Regional Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on welfare fraud issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in their community.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Vicky Re: What is Twitter? Dear Webby, I read so many mentions about Twitter these days and I am wondering what it is and if it is safe. Vicky Dear Vicky Twitter is like the very early IRC chats in the early 80's, but with mug shots and a 140 character per message limit. If you choose to "follow" somebody, then every time they send a message, you see it in your Twitter page. Some people make it a game similar to FaceBook and try to get as many people as possible to "follow" them. That doesn't mean that all or any of thir followers actually read their posts. If they just focus on collecting followers, chances are that their followers are just as bland and shallow. Every now and then you have to weed out the people whom YOU follow. That's easy enough to do. A single click and they are gone. The same happens to you. If you don't contribute anything worth reading, people will stop following you. As far as safety is concerned, I don't see any problem with Twitter. It is limited to 140 characters of plain text, and you just follow people interested in the same stuff you are interested in. Twitter is a good way to meet people in a very casual way. If somebody turns out to be worth it, you can send them your email address or Skype handle in a private message. You can sign up free at http://twitter.com. It is easy, but most of the short names are already in use. You might have to try for a while until you come up with a user name that is not already in use. It is a good idea to limit your time on Twitter, and show up at the same hour when you do go onto Twitter. That way you accumulate friend with the same convenience time zone, instead o having them spread over the whole day. Have FUN! DearWebby
Nancy stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, ma'am?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian. "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. You must be the person who took our phone book!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Memory Aid: Tie a Ribbon Around Your Wrist If you have a problem remembering something, tie a ribbon around your wrist and write down what you are trying to remember. Then when you look on your wrist, there it is plain as day! Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

In the washroom in the airport I saw this handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: "Please push button and listen for a short message from our new President."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Brazilian Carnival
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 182 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 598 )
Dear Webby, I need a program for sorting 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  February 23, 2009


From what we get,we can make a living: what we give, however makes a life. --- Arthur Ashe
At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Eye Contact
Thanks to Lillemor for this: When I was younger I hated going to weddings. All my aunts and other grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "YOU'RE NEXT". They stopped that stuff after I started doing the same at funerals.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Thomas Kohler, 21, in Siegburg, Germany Police nab trouserless crook A German robber was caught after he escaped with his loot - but left his trousers behind. Thomas Kohler, 21, punched taxi driver Daniel Eiffel, 53, in the face and tried to run off with his mobile phone at Siegburg, near Cologne. But as he turned to flee the cabbie grabbed his loose fitting trousers - which were torn free as he fled. Mr Eiffel said: "My natural reaction as he tried to make off with my phone was to grab for him but I could only reach his trousers. He kept struggling and managed to wriggle out of them and run off half-naked." Mr Eiffel called police on a phone he borrowed from a passer-by and gave them a description of the trouserless crook. "I didn't think the police would have a hard job catching a man running round the city in his underwear," he said. Police successfully arrested the thief at a train station trying to board a train in his underpants.
Lissa went to see a psychiatrist about her husband (he wouldn't go with her). "Doctor, my husband, Kurt, has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!" "My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..." Lissa leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Kurt sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Monique Re: Program for sorting Dear Webby, May I say first of all that I thoroughly enjoy reading your mails - I appreciate all your hard work! My question is: I need a program that will alphabetize things. I am a person who likes her lists, from recipes to my Google group member lists- it would really help to have them in A-Z order. Do you know of any such program please? My very best wishes from across the pond, Monique :) Dear Monique Any spreadsheet program like Calc, Quattro, Excel, etc. will do that nicely. In a spreadsheet you have rows and columns, and you can sort the entire sheet by whichever column you want. If your columns are Topic | Subtitle | Description | Date | URL/Link | Details hen you can tell it to sort by for example: Date then Topic then Subtitle and in the blink of an eye, it will have shuffled the sheet around to that sort order. You can even do a search and let it find a key word. When done, you can even save it as an HTML file and upload it to the web, or leave it in spreadsheet format. Do I need to mention pretty graphs ? Whenever there are dates or numbers involved in at least one column, spreadsheets will plot colorful graphs for you. Even though I have been a fan of Quattro since the 80's, the one I recommend currently is Calc in Open Office. It is free, and the future definitely is in Open Office. The link to Open Office is in my toolbox. Have FUN! DearWebby
Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?" One student piped up, "Tuition!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wire Hanger Trellis Make Hamburger Patties for the Freezer Form patties, less than 1 inch thick and set them on wax paper and place them on a cookie sheet. Freeze for about an hour or until the patties have set. Then stack up the patties and wax paper, and store in an air tight container or freezer bag. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. He said, "Yes, I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" asked the teacher. "Four," says little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" Little Johnny smiles and says, "A jack."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Greatest Statues
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 167 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 639 )
Dear Webby: Wallpaper and icons switched to earlier setting 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  February 22, 2009


Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. --- Dale Carnegie
When a guy's printer began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually, it is my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make a LOT more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Clueless "rescuers". Ropes and cranes are NOT the answer! The horse is standing on something, and has a dirty mouth from showing you how to scrape dirt into the hole. Just get a shovel, and put dirt into the hole. The horse will trample it down and step up a bit with each shovel full of dirt. Soon the dirt will be high enough, that it can jump out on it's own.
"How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It's not that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "All the beer is in the boat on my trailer!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Barbara Joly, 68. of Middletown, Ohio 'Granny Robber' gets 3 years for bank robberies 'Granny Robber' gets 3 years for bank robberies; faces up to 15 years more THE ASSOCIATED PRESS HAMILTON, Ohio - A retired bank teller who became known as the "Granny Robber" for a string of bank robberies in southwest Ohio has been sentenced to three years in prison. Sixty-eight-year-old Barbara Joly of Middletown was sentenced Wednesday in Butler County Common Pleas Court. She pleaded guilty in December and could have been sentenced to up to five years in prison. Joly also has pleaded guilty to three counts of bank robbery in neighbouring Warren County. She faces a sentence of up to 15 years in prison on those counts when she goes before a judge Feb. 20. Joly's lawyer has said the robberies were an attempt to continue supporting a grown son who had fallen on hard times.
Two city swingers were walking in the country when one of them spotted a bug walking across the road. "What kind of bug is that?" he asked his companion. The companion leaned over and looked at the bug. "It's a Lady bug." The first man looked at the bug again, then at his friend, and said: "Man, you sure got good eyes."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Beneda Re: Wallpaper and icons switched to earlier setting Dear Webby, Your letter is the first thing I read in my email. I get my laugh for the day with the jokes and learn something every day from people you help with the tech problems. I am hoping you can help me. I don't know what happened but I can no longer access help and support or get into updates or system restore. I run Register Mechanic, SpyBot,Mail Washer, and I just subscribed to a new Norton virus program that I run every week also. I have used Norton for years so nothing has changed there. My icons have been rearranged on my desktop and the wallpaper changed to one I used a long time ago. I am frustrated. Thank you so much for any help. Beneda Dear Beneda Sounds like one of the Norton quirks, or Norton let some Trojan though, which is just as bad. I don't use Norton, but I have heard about that. There is nothing else that I know of, which will change icons and wallpaper to an earlier setting and block help. You will have to call Norton support about that. Have FUN! DearWebby
A missionary heard about a native who had five wives. He paid a visit to the native's hut, and sure enough there were five wives. The two men sat outside the hut and talked. The missionery said "You are violating a law of God. Man can only have one wife, so you must go and tell four of those women that they can no longer live here or consider you their husband." The native thought a few moments, then said, "I'll wait here. You tell 'em."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wire Hanger Trellis You can make a small trellis out of a wire hanger. Straighten the hanger's hook and then bend the remaining hanger into whatever shape you want your trellis to be. Then stick the straighten hook into the dirt and you have a wire trellis for potted plants. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Italians drink lots of wine and have fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans On the other hand, the Finns drink very little wine, and also have fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Wildlife Photos
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 137 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 630 )
Dear Webby: POP email program comparison 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  February 21, 2009


The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers. --- Arthur Koestler The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. --- Dolly Parton
His wife phoned Abe in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." "Good" replied Abe, "make sure she's well boiled."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to mine was free, my male ego soared. Soon we were chatting pleasantly, and she told me it was her first flight. "Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously. "And you look just like my dad."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Fan in Quingdao, China Chinese mistress contest takes tragic turn BEIJING, China (CNN) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep. But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported. The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said. The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said. Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death. The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs. http://snipurl.com/cch26
When Lisa noticed a broken vise grip in the trash can, she decided to buy her husband a new one for his birthday. She went to the hardware store and asked the salesman, "Do you have any heavy-duty vises?" "Sorry, ma'am," he replied. "I gave them all up for Lent."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Richard Re: Thunderbird Dear Webby, as you can see from this email, Thunderbird doesn't work with the CTRL R approach. It just creates a reply email without inserting any of the original email. I tried it with both highlighted text and no highlighted text. I'm not complaining but I just thought that you would like to know. ***************** Richard Dear Richard Yes, Thunderbird is rather basic and crude. I tried it once. However, since I am spoiled with Eudora, that trial was very brief. There is a good comparison of POP email programs at POP email program comparison Have FUN! DearWebby
The young construction worker was boasting that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of his older co-workers. Finally, the old guy decided he'd had enough and said to the youngster, "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is? I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart said. "Let's see you do your stuff!" The old man reached out and grabbed a wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Painting Above Your Head When you need to paint above your head and don't want paint drips fall on the floor or on your face, cut a slit in a paper plate and put your paint brush handle through it. The plate will catch the drips. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a polite little tap on the shoulder could scare him so much. The driver replied, "You're right. I'm sorry it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years".
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Grand Canyons
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 211 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 512 )
Dear Webby: Quote part of received mail in reply 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

An American lands at Paris CDG airport. 
At the checkpoint, the  immigration officer asks him: 
"Occupation? "

He promptly replies: "No, no, just visiting this time!"


A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure He's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and He is always ready to help you when you need Him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to martin for sending these pictures that his son took yesterday. Click on the pictures for full size
A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" he asked. The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Irish traffic police Sent in by Arturas You're in big trouble now, Mr. Drivers License! Thu Feb 19, 2009 DUBLIN (Reuters) - Irish police have solved the mystery of a Polish recidivist who clocked up 50 traffic offenses on different addresses and who was never caught, after one officer noticed his name meant "driving license" in Polish. An internal police memo cited by Irish papers Thursday said officers taking details of Polish traffic offenders had been mistakenly using "Prawo Jazdy," printed in the top corner of the driving license, as the holder's name. "Prawo Jazdy is actually the Polish for driving license and not the first and surname on the license," the police memo said. "It is quite embarrassing to see the system has created Prawo Jazdy as a person with over 50 identities." http://snipurl.com/ca0rj [news_bbc_co_uk]
While my son was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: June Re: Quote part of received mail in reply Dear Webby. Now......how do I correct this and have the previous correspondence go out with my e-mail without my having to cut and paste????? Thanks in advance. June Dear June To "quote" the mail that you are responding to, I hit CTRL R To "quote" just part of it, like I did here, I highlight that part and THEN hit CTRL R. That's how it is done in Eudora since the start of the Internet. Almost all email programs copied that, but AOL might be "special". However, you might have an option in the settings about how it should treat quoted text. Have FUN! DearWebby
In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? In Canada they say: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you kow where the beer is?" In England they say: "Its 11 o'clock. Do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?" In Afghanistan they say:" Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is...?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Plastic Wrap In Half One way to save money on plastic wrap is to cut a roll in half. Then you have two narrow rolls that work great for small items like brownies and cookies. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A 6 year old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And give us our bus passes, as we forgive those who gas pass against us."
Re yesterday's Bonus link: Dear Webby: I was fascinated with today's bonus link sent by Dianne. Among the flowers, I almost jumped out of my skin when I saw the Kadupal Flower, originally from Sri Lanka. A friend of mine had sold her house, and she always told me that she had a plant she wanted me to have. In Argentina they call it Lady of the Night (Dama de la Noche). Well, as I felt very sorry to uproot the plant, which would have needed to be done by a professional gardener so as not to break the roots, plus transporting it home, I told my friend that she should leave it, and that I would go round an cut a few branches, plant them, and hope to God they would grow at home. The plant had a special meaning to my friend, as it was given to her by her ex-mother in law, whom she really liked. So I planted the 3 or four pieces I brought home, in September 2008. Late December, one of the new plants gave me a flower! And during the first week or so of January, I was given 4 more by the rest of them !!!! Talk about a gift from God! I was as anxious to see the flower open slowly as watching a child being born! It started opening around 10 p.m., and by midnight it was fully open. The perfume is exquisite, the outer petals are pink, and the inner ones are mother-of-pearl white. Glorious to watch, and I spied it with a flashlight, in case electric light bothered it. So thank you Dianne and thanks for sending it in your daily letter, Webby! Have fun Manin Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Fancy Shacks
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 222 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 786 )
Dear Webby: Incredimail not sending out 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  February 19, 2009

The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block. --- Inigo DeLeon Advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take. --- Lothar Kaul
Ice Fishing Tips When smoking a fish, don't inhale. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. Hot enchiladas or pizzas do NOT work. After they permanently melt into your sleeping bag, you will have a permanent cold spot in that location. If you set up a tent to be sheltered from the wind while ice-fishing, do NOT sleep in THAT tent. Somebody will get up at night and step into the hole. Extracting a foot with a sprained ankle firmly wedged into the hole in the ice tends to cause foul language. That scares the fish away. If a family member has borrowed your ice auger to drill a fence post hole, it is a good idea to mark and identify that auger with a hack-saw by cutting it into little bitty pieces. That is best done cool and calm, before you carry it up to that mountain lake. Salmon eggs in little pouches made from old pantyhose work better for ice fishing than any other bait or lure, and if you don't get permission to use some bits of pantyhose, remember that salmon eggs are just deluxe caviar at one tenth the cost, and are great with devilled eggs.
There is this American tourist on a trip around Ireland. When the tour arrives at Belfast he decides to go for a stroll with the aim of taking in this new culture. After he's been walking for a while someone rushes up behind him and sticks a gun in his back. The person says to the tourist, "What are you, Catholic or Protestant?" The American thinks to himself "Great -- if I say I'm Catholic, this guy is sure to be Protestant. If I say I'm Protestant, he's sure to be Catholic. Either way I'm dead." Then he has a brain wave and says to the guy, "Actually I'm Jewish." This, he thinks to himself, will surely keep him safe. The guy behind him then replies, "Gee, I must be the luckiest Arab in Ireland."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


Charlie was a regular visitor at the racetrack. One afternoon he noticed an unusual site. Right before the first race, a Catholic Priest visited one of the horses in the stable area and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the horse race very carefully, and, sure enough, the blessed horse came in first! Charlie followed the Priest before the next race. Again, the Priest went to the stables and blessed another horse. Charlie quickly put two dollars on that horse and won close to fifty bucks! The Priest kept blessing horses and Charlie kept betting on them and they won! The last race of the day was the biggest and Charlie saw the Priest with that horse, also! He quickly went to his bank and withdrew his life's savings of $20,000, went back to the racetrack and put it all on that horse! He watched the race in certain anticipation of leaving a millionaire! The horse was last to cross the line and Charlie was dead broke! He couldn't believe what happened so he went looking for the Priest. He found the man and asked, "What happened to that last horse you blessed? Because your blessing didn't work, I've lost all of my money!" The Priest said, "That's the trouble with you Protestants. You can't tell the difference between a blessing and the Last Rites!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 14-year-old Wauwatosa. Wisconsin girl Wisconsin girl, 14, nabbed after refusing to stop messaging FEBRUARY 17--A 14-year-old Wisconsin girl who refused to stop texting during a high school math class was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, according to police. The teenager was busted last Wednesday at Wauwatosa East High School after she ignored a teacher's demand that she cease texting. The girl initially denied having a phone when confronted by a school security officer. However, the phone was located after the girl was frisked by a female cop. The Samsung Cricket, the police report noted, was recovered "from the buttocks area" of the teenager. The student was issued a criminal citation for disorderly conduct, which carried "a bail of $298," and had her phone confiscated. The girl, who was barred from school property for a week, is scheduled for an April 20 court appearance on the misdemeanor rap. http://snipurl.com/c6a9y
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for quite some time now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any more." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, I personally placed an order for them just a couple of days ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked if we had any?" "Poisonous piders in the fruit department"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Larry Re: Incredimail not sending Dear Webby. I have a problem sending out email. I have incredimail. It lets incoming mail in, but can't send any out. This started happening when I got high speed interneet. Incredimail says that I need to go to my firewall and uncheck it and add incredimail. I'm having trouble finding and adding incredimail. Can you help me in this matter. Thank you Larry Dear Larry Don't expect usable info from Incredimail support. Your firewall settings regarding email don't change when you switch fom dial-up to DSL. Most likely you just have to change the SMTP server name over to the one of your new DSL ISP. Same as when you travel, you have to always put in the SMTP server name that you use at the time. Your DSL provider should have that listed on their site, or you can call them. Have FUN! DearWebby
During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When Bubba asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "No way," Bubba said, "Ol' Blue don't need none. He's getting too shortsighted fer doin' the drivin'."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Water With Mulch Mulch around plants with grass clippings, compost, straw or ground bark. Mulch will hold moisture in the soil and reduce evaporation. Over time, mulching will increase your soil's water holding capacity. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Schwartz and Feldman, partners in the garment industry, had just suffered through their worst season ever. 8,000 Madras sports coats were hanging on racks in their warehouse, unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer each day. Out of the blue, in walks a buyer from Australia. "G'day," he begins, "you blokes wouldn't happen to have any Madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them everywhere." Schwartz says he MIGHT have a few left, he'd have to check the warehouse. Well, to make a long story short, before long a deal was struck to ship all 8,000 coats to Australia at a handsome profit. But before he left, the Australian buyer says, "There is just one thing. For an order this large, I'll have to get confirmation from my home office in Sydney. I don't anticipate any problems, though, so unless you hear from me by Friday, plan on shipping the coats as we agreed." Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed slowly, with both partners nervously wondering if the Australians would cancel their order and ruin the business. Friday arrives. The morning passes without incident. The afternoon drags on, but finally the partners allow themselves a little hope as they begin to close up shop late in the day. Five minutes before closing, however, the door opens and a messenger arrives, shouting, "Telegram!" The partners froze. In a cold sweat and trembling, Feldman takes the telegram and opens it. Fearing the worst, his eyes slowly scan the words ... then his face lights up and with a beaming smile he shouts, "Schwartz! GREAT NEWS! It's just your wife! A heart attack she had!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Most expensive flowers
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 219 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 610 )
Dear Webby: Firefox problems 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  February 18, 2009

So far Obama has cost US tax payers and their descendants four times as much as the Chernobyl disaster has cost the Ukrainian taxpayers. ---
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he continued on for another twenty minutes, repeating his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one older gentleman in the rear. "Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," replied Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty six," was the reply. "Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to eighty six and not have an enemy in the world." The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around. "It's easy. I just outlived all them rotten no-good nuisances!"
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A. The car salesman knows when he's lying to you.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


The Classifieds - 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. - Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. - A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. - The hotel has howling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Allahmanamjad Barbel, 21, in BARNSTABLE, Mass. Man arrested after seeking handcuff help BARNSTABLE, Mass. (UPI) -- Police in Massachusetts said a man who asked officers for help removing handcuffs wound up in another pair when officers discovered warrants for his arrest. Barnstable police said Allahmanamjad Barbel, 21, arrived at the police station at 2 p.m. Wednesday with a set of police-issue handcuffs dangling from one wrist, the Cape Cod (Mass.) Times reported. Barbel told officers that his younger sister had slipped the handcuffs onto his wrist during a children's party in Hyannis, Mass. He said he decided to ask police for help after his family was unable to locate a key or cut through the Smith and Wesson police-issue handcuffs. However, Barnstable police Sgt. Sean Sweeney said officers were suspicious and ran Barbel's name through the state warrant system. Officers were able to find a key to remove the cuffs from the 21-year-old's wrist, but those cuffs were soon replaced by a pair of the station's handcuffs when the search revealed warrants for driving with a suspended license, leaving the scene of an accident, threatening to commit a crime and making annoying phone calls. "He asked if we used the cuffs he'd come in with, but no, we got a brand new set for him," Sweeney said. Police said they were unable to discover the origin of the handcuffs Barbel was wearing when he arrived.
At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: Firefox not playing music Dear Webby Why is my Firefox browser not playing the music some sites have? The music plays OK when I use IE6, but I hate having to open a second browser on my old klunker. How can I fix that? Frank Dear Frank Firefox does not have a midi player built in like all the other browsers. You have to download and install a midi player, and then tell Windows to use that player for midi files. The easiest is to just use IE or Opera until Firefox grows up. The alternative is to download and install any of the countless midi players available on the net. Keep in mind that you will have to tell Windows to use the newly installed midi player for midi files. Have FUN! Dear Webby
An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes." "I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie. "Marge," whispered Mildred. "What?" said Marge. "I think the guy next to me is a pervert." "What makes you think so?" asked Marge. "He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred. "Well, don't worry about it," said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all." "Yes," said Mildred, "But this one's eating my popcorn!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refresh Your House Plants Take advantage of a light rain and set your houseplants outside. Just like giving them plant food and you don't have to pay for it. Helps keep the plants clean, too! Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

You can compress the diameter of a rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car. Tempting as it may be to "just-do-it", it IS considered good manners to tell your mother-in-law to get out of her sleeping bag before that procedure.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Food Labels
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 231 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 626 )
Dear Webby: RoboForm Password Manager 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  February 17, 2009

When ideas fail, words come in very handy. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. --- Robert Benchley
"We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce."
Research had been going on for many years as to the invention of the toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose of the device, wanted to know and acknowledge the originating location. After a very long and exasperating study the researchers came to their conclusion as to the origin of thetoothbrush. It was decided that the brush was invented in Maine. Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was simple deduction, "If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Pinwheel Galaxy. Click it for the big version
Trishia is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trishia," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tesco Express store in St Annes, Lancashire, England. Store dmands ID from seniors http://snipurl.com/c1412 [www_dailymail_co_uk] James Earls is almost 60, has grey hair and uses a walking frame. So he was more than a little surprised when he tried to buy a packet of cigarettes and was asked to prove he was over 18. He was even more shocked when staff refused to sell him the cigarettes because he had no ID on him to prove his age. Earlier this month a great-grandfather was shocked when a store assistant refused to sell him fishing equipment - unless he could prove he was over 18. John Payne, 73, wanted to buy the tackle at the Original Factory Shop, in Melksham, Wiltshire, when he was asked to show valid identification to prove he was over 18. Mr Payne, a great-grandfather of nine, from Bremhill, Calne, Wiltshire, has been fishing for more than 50 years and said he had never encountered this sort of problem before.
A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, "but the store is full of mothers."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: JJS Re: RoboForm Dear Webby I use and like the free version of Roboform you suggested even tho it is limited to 10 passwords. What is your opinion of Password Partner ? I don't dare download any programs like that without your comment. Thanks for your news letter as it is the first I read every day. JJS Dear JJS No idea if that Password Partner is reliable or even malware. I have used the Roboform PRO for many years and I would be totally lost without it. Because I test the email addresses, that I set up for clients, I have thousands of user name / password combos in it. Never any problem with Roboform. Syncing it to the laptop so that I can work while away from the office is a snap. I wholeheartedly recommend Roboform PRO, that is why I have carried a link in the side menu for so many years. Have FUN! Dear Webby
One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, " What did you ask me?" She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?" Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Coring Iceberg Lettuce Using a knife to cut lettuce causes the lettuce to brown more quickly. To remove the core from a head of iceberg lettuce, hit the core end against the counter sharply and twist the core out. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks to Myriam for this story: One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife: " What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Russian Cake Art
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 233 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 907 )
Dear Webby: Yahoo blocking mail 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  February 16, 2009

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --- George Bernard Shaw,
Thanks to Cookie for this story: A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.' The biker replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.' The reporter says, 'Well, I'm a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?' The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.' ----------------- The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page: U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
A 6 year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees". When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


Colonel Jack: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Colonel Jack: I always call my drivers by their last names. What's your last name, driver? Driver: It's Sweetheart, sir. Colonel Jack: Drive on, Alfred.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to French and British navies French and British nuclear subs collide http://snipurl.com/byo4z [www_thesun_co_uk] BRITISH and French nuclear submarines which collided deep under the Atlantic could have sunk or released deadly radioactivity, it emerged last night. The Royal Navy’s HMS Vanguard and the French Navy’s Le Triomphant are both nuclear powered and both were carrying nuke missiles. Between them they had around 250 sailors on board. The MoD insisted last night there had been no nuclear security breach. But this is the biggest embarrassment to the Navy since Iran captured 15 sailors in 2007. The naval source said: “Crashing a nuclear submarine is as serious as it gets.” Vanguard is one of Britain’s four V-Class subs forming their Trident nuclear deterrent. Each is armed with 16 ballistic missiles, ready to fire them off at a moment's notice, just in case the Irish are acting up. Vanguard weighs 16,000 tons, is 150 metres long and has a crew of 140. She was last night towed into Faslane in Scotland, with dents and scrapes visible on her hull. Triomphant limped to Brest with extensive damage to her sonar dome. Triomphant has a crew of 101 and a dozen atom bomb tipped missiles. It wasn't clear who the French are afraid of and planning to run from, but they say they are ready.
Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time, and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired." So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays," Neville then said, "Na, maite, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya blimey idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, aiy!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jivan Re: Yahoo is blocking mail Dear Webby I would like to inform you that I do not get the "HUMOUR "daily please send me daily Thanks Jivan Dear Jivan That is not surprising with Yahoo. I can't fix Yahoo's problems, I can only send your subscription out to you every day. After it has entered the Yahoo server, there is nothing more I can do about it. Once you get a respectable address, that problem will instantly go away. Have FUN! Dear Webby
Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sticky Zipper If you have a sticky zipper on a piece of clothing, try rubbing the zipper with a pencil. The graphite in the pencil should help lubricate the zipper. A bar of soap also can be effective. Keep in mind that zippers don't rust. If a zipper sticks, it is because of misalignment, usually from unevenly stretched fabric. You can NOT fix that while wearing the garment. Take it off, soak it or steam it with the zipper closed all the way, then stretch it evenly and iron it dry. The zipper will work like new. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

They were burying Irish Pat today and the priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of us MUST get up and say something nice about the man.It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His brother was worse!".
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Rural Brasil
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 198 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 646 )
Dear Webby: ISP blocks email 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  February 15, 2009

How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. ---Ronald Reagan
Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds!
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you please thank her for two pies?"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Antonio Gallo, 50, in in Montemignaio, Italy Motorist's wee mistake A driver stopped his car to answer a call of nature - and watched in horror as it slid over a cliff. Antonio Gallo, 50, had put on the handbrake but failed to notice he had parked on an ice-covered slope. To make matters worse, his wife and children were in the passenger seats - but all escaped unharmed. The car slipped over a cliff ledge and hurtled down a slope until it crashed into a tree 50 yards below, in Montemignaio, northern Italy. A police spokesman said: "He hasn't been charged with any crime but he's definitely going to get a life sentence of backseat driving from now on."
A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?", he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' "
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hank Re: ISP blocking mail Dear Webby, Yes, it is my POP 3 e-mail that is being blocked. I have subscribed to you and Ophelia on POP 3 and then I no longer received them. I then subscribed through Hotmail as I had to do with another newsletter. When I have tried to resubscribe I received a note saying I was already subscribed under my POP 3 mail. I use Incredimail as my mail server. My ISP has a home mail page but I cannot get you through that. The ISP assured me they are not blocking any e-mails to my account. Thanks for your help, hank Dear Hank That is quite a sad-ass bunch of incompetent morons at your ISP, if they don't allow you the get the Humor Letter. What is that ISP's name? People in your area need to be warned about those klutzes. If I was in your shoes, I would get my money back, and chose a better ISP. If there is no other ISP in your neck of the woods, get yourself a gmail address, just like most of the yahoos do. You can download your gmail with any of the better POP3 programs. Gmail does quite impressive spam filtering, but at times can get a bit too aggressive. However, if you drag a piece of mail out of the spam into the INbox, it will respect that from then on. Gmail is quite civilized! Have FUN! Dear Webby
A pastor told his congregation that he was going to do a 4 point message series over the next few weeks. Whatever word I end on", he told them, "I want you to sing a song that goes with that word". The 1st week the word was Rock. So the congregation sang "Rock of Ages". The 2nd week the word was Assurance. So they sang "Blessed Assurance". The 3rd week the word was Cross. They sang "At the Cross". The 4th week the word was sex. The congregation was baffled at what to sing. Finally an 85 yr old man stood up from the back of the church and started singing "Precious Memories". Try singing that song next time without laughing.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Put a Pan Under Sink When Making Repairs If you change the faucet or drain in your kitchen or bathroom sink, put a shallow pan under the sink to catch any drips. Keep the pan there for 4 weeks to make sure water isn't accumulating. Check it periodically and tighten fixtures if necessary. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Lightning over Texas
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 174 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 605 )
Dear Webby: Firefox Midi Problem 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  February 14, 2009
GUILT Day!


"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." -- Antoine de Saint Exupery "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." -- Franklin P. Jones
Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "You should try some Tums and eat properly!"
One nun is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants? SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And?? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a man with his pants down! (...And, for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's...! )
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Dear
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your special Sunday dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Curtis Pickard, 17, Columbia County, GA Busted For "Upskirt" Teacher Photos FEBRUARY 12--Meet Curtis Pickard. The Georgia student was arrested this week after he allegedly used his cell phone to take "upskirt" photos of a teacher, which he then showed to fellow high schoolers. According to a Columbia County Sheriff's Office report, Pickard, 17, surreptitiously snapped photos of Greenbrier High School teacher Ellen Hotchkiss on Monday. After several students on Tuesday told a school safety officer that he was showing the photos around, the officer seized Pickard's phone. The 33-year-old Hotchkiss, pictured at right, examined the images and "identified her legs and underwear from the previous day." Pickard was charged with unlawful eavesdropping or surveillance and booked into the Columbia County Detention Center, where the below mug shots were taken. He was released after posting $2600 bond on the felony rap. Pictures and details are at The Smoking Gun
The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job," he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." The painter thanked him and agreed to do that. Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope," replied the painter. "I'm a man of my word. I'm here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elaine Re: Music on cards not playing in FireFox Dear Webby, Why is Firefox not playing the music on cards? Any other browser plays the music just fine. Elaine Dear Elaine That is NOT a problem with the cards. The music IS there. It is a problem with Firefox. Unlike other browsers, it does not have a built in midi player. To get around that Firefox problem, you have to install and configure a midi player, for example Apple's QuickTime. Like all Apple stuff, it is huge and bulky and a nuisance to configure. There are precise step by step instructions for installing QuickTime at http://www.terryscomputertips.com/compu ... -files.php Yes, I know it is a silly rigamarole, but that's the way FireFox is. Other than that embarrassing midi playing problem, Firefox is just as good as other browsers, but their midi problem sure makes them look like incompetent klutzes. After installing a midiplayer, and telling all your visitors to either do the same, or to use a browser that plays midis without any hassle, it would be a good idea if you wrote to Firefox and told them about how you feel about their shortcomings. Have FUN! Dear Webby
A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Romantic Meal at Home For Valentines Day This can be even more special than eating at a restaurant and at a fraction of the cost. If you don't feel like cooking, you can order dinner from your favorite restaurant that offers carry out. Create the atmosphere of dining out by setting the table with your best dishes and candles. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Hot Air Balloons
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 219 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 1436 )
Dear Webby: Powerpoint files on OE 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday,  February 13, 2009
Time to wear something red, to show your support for the troops!

Friday, the 13th! Better be careful! It is bad luck to be superstitious.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. --- Will Rogers If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. --- Doug Larson
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman ! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" "My mother did."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jesse Jackson Birds of a feather, flock together Jesse Jackson has added former Chicago Democrat Congressman Mel Reynolds to Rainbow/PUSH Coalition's payroll. Reynolds was among the 176 criminals excused in President Clinton's last-minute forgiveness spree. Reynolds received a commutation of his six-and-a-half-year federal sentence for 15 convictions of wire fraud, bank fraud, and lies to the Federal ElectionCommission. He is more notorious, however, for concurrently serving five years for sleeping with an underage campaign volunteer. American politics: An ex-congressman who had sex with a subordinate...won clemency from a president who had sex with a subordinate...then was hired by a clergyman who had sex with a subordinate! His new job? Ready for this?? According to some rumors: Youth Councilor. Officialy, though, since that pays a lot more, he has been hired as consultant on prison reform, based on his brief prison experience before Clinton pardoned him.
Teacher: Max, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a sentence. Max: The rabbit ran across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frieda Re: PowerPoint Trick for OE Dear Webby Dear Webby, My solution when my Power Point started doing that was to right click attachment and save to documents. Then Power Point opens it right up. Just another option for Ann. Your tech. tips help so many people and I look forward each day to your pictures. You have something for everyone. Bless you, Frieda Thanks Frieda! Have FUN! Dear Webby
A number of new Air-Force recruits were being taken on their first training flight. The plane had just leveled out after taking off when one of the engines seized up, and another began smoking badly. Adjusting his parachute, the instructor strove for nonchalance as he made his way to the hatch door. "Now I want you men to keep perfectly calm," he said, "while I go for help."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thrifty Reusable Napkins Instead of paper towels, we use washcloths for napkins. The cheap ones work great, and you can wash and reuse them. You can usually buy packs of colored ones for not much money. You can also cut up old shirts, blouses, even jeans, and hem the squares. Some people even embroider them. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Critter Pictures
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 159 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 521 )
Dear Webby: Not associated with any program 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  February 12, 2009

The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half. --- Fyodor Dostoevsky
Thanks to Trish for this follow-up on that cute Koala in the wildfire: VIDEO: Thirsty koala Sam the koala survives the bushfire and drinks three bottles of water courtesy of CFA volunteer David Tree
Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one woman's foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her, trying to get her attention. "Look, Martha," her friend said. "he wants to go home with you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening church service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of it's valuables, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (....repent and be baptized....) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture??" replied the burglar, "She said she had an ax and two 38's!!!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Amber Carter, 35 in Bellefontaine, Ohio Teacher cut class for prostitution BELLEFONTAINE, Ohio - A fourth-grade teacher had a side job as a prostitute, and even skipped class after using a school computer to arrange an afternoon tryst at a motel, authorities said Wednesday. Amber Carter, 35, left school early Tuesday — taking half a sick day — and was arrested in a motel parking lot in Bellefontaine, where authorities had set up a sting operation. An anonymous e-mail was sent to the Logan County Sheriff's Department on Feb. 4 saying a local woman was posting cash-for-sex ads on the popular Web site Craig's list, Lt. Rob Bibart said. Detectives found the ad and arranged Tuesday's meeting with Carter, he said. "It was done very subtly. We pulled up, I identified myself," he said. "I put her in an unmarked car, and off we went." Detectives were uncertain how long Carter had been advertising for sex, Bibart said. Bellefontaine, a small city of 13,000, is about 50 miles northwest of Columbus. Carter was placed on administrative leave, said Bellefontaine City Schools Superintendent Larry Anderson. She has worked for the district for 13 years, starting as a kindergarten teacher. Carter was charged with misdemeanor prostitution and a felony count of unauthorized use of property, related to the school computer. She was released from Logan County jail Tuesday.
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root. That will be one payment on my sandals, please." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer. That will be one payment on my donkey, please." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. That will be one payment on my wagon, please." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow these pills. That will be one payment on my Buick, please." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. That will be one payment on my Mercedes, please." 2002 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root! That will be one payment on my yacht, please."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: No program associated with Dear Webby Quite often (but not all the time) I get the following notice with an email...."This file does not have aprogram associated with it for performing this action. Create an association in the Folder Options Control Panel" It is mostly with Power Point files. Do you have any idea what this is and how I actually do that... or is this an "Empress" question? Thanks as always for your great ezine and advice. Ann Dear Ann RIGHT-click START, Explore Tools FolderOptions File Types And in there look for the file extensions PPS and PPT, and assign the PowerPoint Viewer to those extensions. From then on, Windows will use that program for that file type. If you have Open Office, you can use that as the viewer, if you don't, use Microsoft's Power Point Viewer. You can get both free from my Toolbox Have FUN! Dear Webby
A Southerner had just moved to New York, and one day, a robber approached him and said, "Give me your money or I'll blow your brains out!" "Blow away," replied the Southerner, "You obviously can live in New York without brains, but I shore could not live here without money."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Cast Iron Pans Don't use dish soap or diswashers to clean cast iron pans. Fill the dirty pan with water and bring it to a boil, then you should be able to scrub off any debris. Rinse with hot water, let the pan dry and rub a small amount of shortening, lard, cooking spray or cooking oil inside the pan before storing. For really stubborn stuff, you can use sea salt as grit without damaging the patina too much. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man was being proselytized by group of friends: "Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind's relationship to God." "I'm married; I learned long ago that my opinions don't matter." "But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?" "Wherever my wife tells me to."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Good Reads
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 153 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 659 )
Dear Webby: How to edit PDF files 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  February 11, 2009

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. --- John Lennon
An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer: "As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$275.' ... If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $250.'... If his eyes still don't flutter, you add ...'Each.' ---- Looks like I better learn to flutter my eyes!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to Donny for this picture. True Love Newfie Style He didn't say if that was him in the picture.
The finance committee of our church refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier, because none of the members knows how to play one.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jean Fortune, 66, Boynton Beach, Florida Man Calls 911 In Burger Beef Florida patron dials cops over lemonade-less combo meal FEBRUARY 9--"You cannot dial 911 'cause you're unhappy with your burger." That's what a police operator told a Florida man early Saturday morning when he called 911 to complain about his order at a Burger King in Boynton Beach. As can be heard on the below police recording, Jean Fortune, 66, called 911 when a Burger King employee told him that they did not have lemonade. Fortune told cops that he had placed an order for a #7 combo meal (chicken fries, French fries, and a soda for $4.49) while in the drive-thru line. But when he got to the window, Fortune was told the fast food outlet did not have lemonade. He was offered Coke, but Fortune decided instead to call police. "Sir, come on. I know you don't seriously think that the police need to make Burger King give you food faster. I cannot believe that," said an exasperated 911 operator. She also noted, "Customer service is not a reason to call 911. 911 is if you're dying. Do you understand that?" Fortune was charged with abuse of 911 communications, according the below Boynton Beach Police Department report. 911 Recording
A third grade teacher asked her class: "I'd like you to be very quiet today. I've got a dreadful headache." "Excuse me," said little Johnny, "why don't you do what my mom does when she has a hangover?" "What's that?" asked the teacher. "She sends us outside to play."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Eno Re: Editing PDF files Dear Webby Is there a way to edit PDF files without shelling out big money? A lot of job application forms are long PDFs, and I hate printing them out, scribbling on them and then faxing them. Thanks, Eno Dear Eno There is some software out there for filling in fields, IF the form had been created in interactive mode. That is probably about 3% of them, and hardly justifies the expense. The cheapest method is to use a graphics program like PSP or Photoshop or whatever you got, Reduce the PDF View to 75% so that each page just fits onto the screen, take a screen shot of each page, type or paste your info onto the pages with the text tool in the graphics program. For your signature, just scan it and make a small jpg file just big enough for the signature. Paste that where the signature goes. Then paste each of those pages into an Open Office WRITE document, one per page, and export it to PDF. Then you can attach that PDF file to an email or upload it. Save the document too, because there are probably parts that you can re-use later. Have FUN! Dear Webby
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He was trying every excuse in the world, trying to get out of it but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the Grey suit with those shifty eyes and that dishonest face and I said, "He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty." So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!" With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box. That's his lawyer."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grocery Bags for Cleaning the Litter Box If you use scoop-able cat litter, the bags you get at grocery stores work great for disposing of the litter. Just keep some near the litter box. Tie the bag handles together before throwing away and it will help cut down on odors in your garbage can. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man entered a barbershop and said, "I am tired of looking like everyone else. I want a change. Part my hair from ear to ear!" The barber nodded and said, "Are you sure?" His customer said, "yes," so the barber did as he was told, and the satisfied gentleman left the shop a happy man. Three hours passed and the man reentered the barber shop. "Put it back the way it was," hesaid. "What's the matter?" said the barber. "Are you tired of being a non-conformist already?" "No," the customer replied, "I'm tired of people whispering at my nose."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Caribbean Coral
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 183 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 651 )
Dear Webby: Program Updates 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  February 9, 2009

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. --- Bertrand Russell A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. --- P. J. O'Rourke
Petra had forgotten to get her estrogen patch prescription refilled, and soon the symptoms of menopause--hot flashes, forgetfulness, irritability, short temper, bossiness, aches and pains, etc., etc. returned. Eventually she wound up at the drugstore and was telling the pharmacist all about her problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help" "Sure it does, " he grinned, "this way I can see the numbers."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Emelie Berglund, 32, from Kalmar, Sweden Cop fined for leaving gun in loo A Swedish police officer who left her hand gun in a public loo when she went to spend a penny has been fined £700. ($1000) Inspector Emelie Berglund, 32, from Kalmar, had unstrapped her weapon as she took a break from giving evidence at the city's district court. An honest janitor found the gun and returned it to her but a colleague reported her to superiors and she was disciplined with the £700 fine. "By failing to keep control of your weapon, with the consequence that it was left behind in the toilets, you have displayed insufficient care," the police tribunal judge ruled.
I noticed the neighbor down the street was home and sitting on his porch every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened . . . Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kay Re: Program Updates Dear.Webby I enjoy and rely on your advice about computers---- Thank you. What are your thoughts about "Secunia Online Software Inspector"? I have this installed on my computer, and they seem to advise constant upgrades on all my software. I am wondering if this is necessary and if they are a reliable company. Thank you for your help. Kay from Mn. Dear Kay I remember Petunia, one of my first girlfriends, but I have never heard of Secunia. Our computers work quite fine without it. It is a good idea to let anti-virus and anti-spyware update whenever they have new definitions, and many of Microsoft's patches for their buggy software actually have fewer bugs than what they patch, but other than that, updates are usually not that critical. Good programs, like for example the Quattro spreadsheet, are just fine if you use the version from 2000. Have FUN! Dear Webby
Mark, went into a convenience store to prepay for gasoline and returned with two plastic bottles of soda. As he filled the tank, his wife opened a bottle. To her dismay it fizzed and foamed all over her lap. Several miles down the road, Mark asked for his soda. Handing it to him, She warned, "Be careful. These are really over-carbonated." But when Mark opened his bottle, it barely hissed. Eyes on the road, he nonchalantly said, "You must have gotten the one I dropped."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Today's Entrées and Tomorrow's Sandwiches Incorporate leftover sandwiches into your weekly menu For example, have meat loaf one night and meat loaf sandwiches the next night. Some other ideas: Spaghetti and Meatballs and then meatball sandwiches. Turkey and then leftover hot turkey sandwiches with gravy. Roast beef and then French dip. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Six-year-old Jay's father was a rector in a small church. One day, his father told Jay that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Jay became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet the bishop. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Jay bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Jay was very excited about the opportunity to do this. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop's room and then say to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Jay was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally, morning came and Jay rehearsed his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though, that his lines got mixed up and Jay said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Newseum
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 172 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 815 )
Dear Webby: Sharing a connection 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  February 8, 2009

I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy. --- Richard Feynman There are only two ways of telling the complete truth-- anonymously and posthumously. --- Thomas Sowell
Arnie came into the office looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. "Our chickens have been disappearing." He said. "And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o'clock, Pa got me and Ol' Blue, our dog, and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on." He went on. "Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol' Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn't expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we've been up a-cleanin' and a-pluckin' more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from Preikestolen
While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?" The guide replied: "One."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to over 100 unprepared fishermen in Ohio 'Warning - zombies ahead!' OAK HARBOR, Ohio – One person who was among those stuck Saturday on a miles-wide slab of ice, that floated away from the Ohio shoreline of Lake Erie has died, while more than 100 others were rescued, authorities said. The village size slab had already cracked off the night before, just like it does every February, but they laid some planks from the shore to the village size ice floe, and spent a merry day fishing and drinking beer. Not necessarily in that order. When it came time to stagger homewards, they discovered that the afternoon wind had pushed their floating village 1000 feet off shore, and the planks had fallen into the water. Since most of them were out of beer by that time, a big panic ensued. One guy, apparently looking for an imaginary ice bridge, stumbled into the water and drowned. Several ships and helicopters from Toledo and Marblehead, and from Detroit, were sent to rescue the people from the 1 mile wide and 8 mile long ice floe. He said 100 to 125 were ferried to the shore by late afternoon. Due to the colder than normal winter, the ice was a bit thicker than usual, but it cracked off the shore at about the same date as every year. As usual, none of the fishermen had an inflatable rubber dinghy or other emergency boat. However, the Algorian sheep blamed the drowning death and the expensive rescue operation on Global Warming.

From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hank Re: Sharing a connection Dear.Webby I still read your emails first. I am a sharp senior with time on my hands. I was reading about wireless connectins etc. Is it a real crime in all states to pirate connections from a neighbor etc or just something we should protect against. How about if your neighbor invites you to do it? thanks for any response. A cheapskate senior friend of mind was thrilled when the neighbor let him use his connection to save him a few bucks so he could go out to eat every night. Hank Dear Hank Same as with electricity, it is not a crime IF you get permission. I actually encourage people to pool their resources and get ONE greased lightning fast connection, and then share it with a long reach router and long reach PC cards. As long as none of the 6 pool members abuses it to haul down lots of movies, it works fine and is a lot cheaper than six low speed accounts. You buy the router and the cards once, and save on the monthly connection fees foreverafter. In a tight cluster like an apartment building even a decent regular router will be enough. Just make sure you exclude download hogs. Have FUN! Dear Webby
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sawdust Floor Sweeping Compound Use this recipe to help keep dust down when sweeping your basement garage or workshop. Mix 6 cups sawdust, 2 cups rock salt, and 1 1/2 cups mineral oil and put it in a jar with a lid for storage. To use, sprinkle it on your floor before sweeping. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Modern Thunder Box
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 150 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 654 )
Dear Webby, are long range routers a threat? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  February 7, 2009

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do." --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir. ------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to George Bartusek, 51 in Cape Coral, Florida 'Warning - zombies ahead!' FEBRUARY 5--A Florida man was arrested yesterday after he was spotted fondling and making out with a pair of blow-up dolls in a supermarket parking lot. Shoppers called cops when they spotted George Bartusek, 51, getting busy in the front seat of his 1998 Lincoln Town Car, which was parked directly in front of a Publix store. According to a police report, witnesses told cops that Bartusek was "performing activity" to two different blow up dolls in his vehicle." He was also spotted "aggressively" kissing the dolls. When confronted by police, Bartusek said that he was headed to Target to "get some clothes for his dolls." Bartusek, charged with breach of peace, was wearing shorts with a three-inch opening "in the crotch area." Of course, he "had no underwear on under the shorts," noted police. ------------------ He probably won't have to worry abut his heating bills for a while.
A teenager was sitting in church, and when the collection plate was passed around, he quickly pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in. Just then, the person behind him tapped him on his shoulder and handed him a $20 bill. The boy smiled, placed the $20 in the plate and passed it on, admiring that the man was being generous. Then the boy felt another tap from behind and heard a whisper: "Son," the man said, "that was your $20 bill that had fallen out of your pocket."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland Re: Are long reach routers a threat? Dear.Webby Say a neighbor has one of these long reach routers, can he get into my computer? Roland Dear Roland No, that is not how it works. If he has one of those modern long range routers, HIS router will do a handshake and communicate with HIS laptop, even when he sits down at Hooters, 3 miles away. You or anybody else trying to use his high speed connection are out of luck, because HIS router simply ignores your computer's attempt to do a handshake and log in. He is secure, because he uses the new standards, which even professionals can't break. Keep in mind that the connection is initiated by the computer, not the router. The computer reaches out to the routers in the area and initiates the first handshake. His router just sits and waits for that. If you selected your wireless router by price, then any kid can break into your network and use it. That doesn't mean, that they can or will get into your computer. Usually they just use your Internet access to download movies and games, because on their own connection they have already gone over their monthly limit. They don't use long range cards with high security in their laptops, but the cheapest they can get, to match the routers in most homes. If you see kids parked near you house and suspect, that they are using your connection, just unplug the power to your router. If they drive on to the next house, you got your proof. There are other ways too to tell if you got hitch-hikers on the LAN, but that is the easiest way to dump them. Have FUN! Dear Webby
It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said: "Poor Devil!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090201@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Gopherproof Flower Beds You can create a gopherproof flower bed by digging down about 18 inches and lining the bottom and sides of the bed with screens (old window screens work well) or avery mesh. Then replace the dirt and plant the flower bed. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Brands in Paintings
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 147 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1034 )

<<First <Back | 122 | 123 | 124 | 125 | 126 | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | Next> Last>>