Winter Blows 


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Privacy Concerns 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 31, 2011

There are times when quitting smoking is a lot tougher than at
other times. Tonight seems to be one of the tougher times.
So far I am only chewing pencils, pens, screwdrivers, etc.
and wondering if this is how it feels, when one is going nuts.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." --- Abraham Lincoln
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an announcement on the web site were the reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw and knocked around a bit, then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line: "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store till everybody goes home!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, an RCMP officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly nuns -- two in the front seat and three in the back - all except for the driver wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly ... Twenty-two miles an hour!" the nun says quite proudly. The RCMP officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the Higway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask ... is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off that awful gravel road, with the 149 signs." There was some crackling in the officer's radio, then the dispatcher's voice came through: Whatever you do, do NOT let those nuns get onto the 401 !"
Thanks to betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kevon Whitfield, 19, in Clifton, Ohio Pizza Robbers leave phone of the hook Police are saying that a phone left off the hook led to a local pizza parlor employee overhearing a plan to rob a delivery driver. Police say that someone called Topper's Pizza in Clifton early Monday morning and placed a large order. The customer apparently forgot to hang up the phone, and the employee who took the order stayed on the line heard a plan to rob the delivery driver for the order. The worker called 911, and an undercover police officer replaced the normal delivery driver. When the undercover officer delivered the pizzas, the suspects took the pizza and ran. 19-year-old Kevon Whitfield and a 14-year-old juvenile were arrested in the 900 block of Mound Street, and both are now charged with robbery. Police say other suspects were arrested in a West End apartment building, but aren't specifying how many were arrested or on what charges..
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Randall Re: Privacy Dear Webby Glad to hear you are on the road to recovery. I will keep you in my prayers for a complete recovery. My question to you this morning is: Is there a way to block your activity on the internet from being posted on the internet? No i am not a freak or crook, i parted ways with a friend of mine who i thought was a friend,and now i posted something on a website that i am sure she is not a member of and she pasted it on facebook ( i canceled my facebook account months ago,and some family members in another state said that they had seen this person post my family business on facebook. I did a search of my name this morning and was shocked at what came up in the search!!!! or now do I have to worry about what I post on any website in the future? Thanks for any assistance you come up with..... Randall Dear Randall Yes, some people can be quite a nuisance. Whatever you PUBLISH, is public knowledge, and anybody may repeat it elsewhere. Copyright restrictions apply only to art, not to gossip. If you want to provide access to data to just a select few people, you can password the location. However, if you let somebody else take care of the passwording, like for example Yahoo, and that company lets anybody join, then there is no point in the passwording and you are just wasting time. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cake Decorating Tool Holder While learning how to decorate cakes online, I thought of a way of organizing some of my supplies. I used two silverware baskets that were saved from several old dishwashers. My husband found one basket inside an old dishwasher sitting next to a dumpster in the apartment complex. And other one was from a broken down dishwasher in my apartment which was replaced with a new one. The second basket is used for my decorating tubes and I use a piece of wax paper underneath to catch the drips. Now I don't have to spend any money to buy a cake decorating bag holder. By MCW from Lewiston, NY http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Dr Bubba Trailerjack, who bought his degree from Menthol State Unifercity, summed it up quite succinctly: "You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an intel inside. How do I get that one out? " Tech Support: "It's actually fairly easy if you had the IQ upgraded lately. Have you had that done?" Customer: "No, I don't think so. I'm always one of the last to get the new stuff." Tech Support: "OK, then go tell your manager that I said you qualify for an IQ upgrade."

» ShutterBug Special






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Inatieff 
My dog's view of the Liberal Leader of Canada



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Keyboard for laptop 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I was amazed at all the letters I got telling me to slow down, 
and that two and a half miles are way too much this early 
after a heart operation. OK, OK, I'll slow down.
I scaled today's walk back to two miles, and got the same
planned for tomorrow.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. --- Aesop
A man comes home late one night, drunk. "Where have you been?" asks his wife. "In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and even a golden urinal!" This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife. She calls the Golden Bar. "Do you have golden chairs?" "Yes." "Do you have golden glasses?" "Yes." "Do you have golden beer?" "Yes." "Do you have a golden urinal?" "Hold on." On the other end, she hears "Hey Bob! I think we have a line on the guy who messed up your tuba!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked. Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I like them." Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. St Stephen's Dome in Vienna
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a speeder in Saguenay, Quebec 3600 + Speeding ticket A driver in Saguenay, Que. is facing more than $3,600 in fines after being caught driving more than 140 kilometres an hour over the speed limit. Police caught the 23-year-old late Wednesday night driving 233 km/h in a 90 km/h zone in a Dodge SX 2.0. Police had set up a speed trap in the Laterrière neighbourhood after residents complained about street racing on nearby roads. The man was fined $2,137 for speeding, $274 for having worn out tires, and another $1,267 for endangering the life of his passenger. He received 40 demerit points, and could also lose his licence for the next two years. The driver was caught on Talbot Boulevard in the Laterrière neighbourhood in the south end of Saguenay. He was not under the influence of alcohol.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Renee Re: Keyboard Dear Webby I am going to follow your advice and get a proper keyboard for my laptop. Typing on the built n keyboard ruins my wrists, plusit is too slow for my patience. Which or what keyboard do you recommend? Renee Dear Renee I buy DELL 18" wide keyboards, plain, no frills. They just barely fit into my 18" wide case, are reasonaly quiet, and last a fairly long time, before I wear the letters off the keys. Installation is simple. I pry the CAPS LOCK key off, so that I can epoxy it onto the coin-op copyer at Walmart, plug the keyboard in and start working. No fuss, no installation CD. Just plug it in and it works. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Consider this dialogue between a museum guard and a group of tourists gaping at dinosaur bones in a natural history museum. "Can you tell us how old the dinosaur bones are?" one asks. "They are 3 million, four years and six months old," the guard says authoritatively. "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so definitely?" "Well, the bones were 3 million years old when I started working here, and that was 4 1/2 years ago."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Write Expiration Dates On Your Calendar When you sign up for a special telephone or cable deal, it can be difficult to remember when your deal is about to run out before you get stuck with a much larger bill. In order to avoid this, try putting a sticky note reminder on your calendar the month before the deal is set to expire. This way you have time to decide whether or not you will keep it and pay the higher premium or call to change to a lower priced service option. By Marie from West Dundee http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An art collector was on a stroll through the city. In the doorway of a deli he noticed a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer and did a double take. The saucer was extremely old and very valuable. The collector walked casually into the store and offered to buy the cat for $2. "I'm sorry," said the owner, "but the cat isn't for sale." The collector pleaded. "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you $50 for that cat." "Sold," said the owner, and he handed over the cat. The art collector paused. "For the 50 bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." "Sorry buddy," said the owner, "but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold 68 stray cats."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
During her stay at an expensive hotel in Sue woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. She called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When she looked at the charge slip, she was instantly furious. Sue calledroom service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel,but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end cooly explained........."Ma'am, I believe you are complaining about your room number."

» Fascinating Fotos






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Digital pictures of low quality 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Thanks L. Byron!


I managed two and a half miles today. Towards the end of it, 
I had to slow down and was wishing, that I had taken the 
Nitroglycerin along, but I made it without having to stop and 
lean on the scenery. 

The swelling on the feet has gone down, and thanks to the 
miracle power of Duck Tape, most of the heel cracks have 
healed. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand. --- Leonardo da Vinci
Valuable scientific data. Two proposed new additions to the periodic table (from Chemistry class)elements: Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180+/-50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: Good methane source. Some specimens are able to produce large quantities especially at inappropriate times. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Lorikeets
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Patrick Williams of Adams County, Miss. Man fleeing police falls through apt. ceiling naked HATTIESBURG, Miss. - It was a normal Tuesday morning until a man in his birthday suit crashed through the ceiling of an unsuspecting woman. A man was running from police when he crashed through a woman's ceiling. He was completely nude. "Well I was asleep in my bed and hear this loud crashing noise," Foxgate resident Kaliegh Townsend said. Startled by the noise, Townsend got out of bed to investigate. She received a rude awakening. "He was naked," Townsend said. "There's this guy standing in the middle of my living room, and there's a big gaping hole in my ceiling." Townsend screamed for the man to leave, but the man wanted to borrow a pair of shorts. Townsend kept telling him to leave, and he bolted out the front door. "Then, he gets halfway out the door and runs back in screaming at me just to borrow a pair of shorts." Townsend said. "So, finally I get him to leave, and he grabs my jacket and steals it. He wraps it around him and runs out the door." According to Townsend, the man was staying in a nearby apartment. The man crawled into the attic, busted through the fire wall and fell into their apartment. Lamar County officals say the intruder's name is Patrick Williams of Adams County. He was convicted in 2007 for possession of cocaine, and in 2010, a warrant was issued for his arrest because of failure to report to his probation officer. Lamar County officials say they have since captured Williams. So, what about the hole in Townsend's ceiling? And her jacket? "They returned it and asked if I would like it back, and I said 'no,'" Townsend said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Christine Re: Poor picture quality Dear Webby first, I love those snowy trees. Looks like heaven to me. And congratulations! walking that distance. Remember not to push the river of wellness upstream? Of course you do. Here is another of those birds I took a while back. But my friend, I haven't got the foggiest idea what AOLing might be. It's way beyond my technical know-how. But all my pictures are taken the same way, except at times I zoom in. What is different about the blue trees, that you liked? I can see what you mean by the white frame around them. I will crop it off and send them again, but in my opinion, they are too fuzzy to begin with and the quality not really good. I just wanted you to see them. They are called "lorikeets", pesky little blighters and not afraid of any bird, even crows. Hugs, Christine Dear Christine Yes, this last batch is better! "AOLing" refers to downgrading pictures, so that people on AOL or other slow connections could send and receive them. AOL even had it's own color palette. While everybody else used 16 Million colors, AOLers were restricted to just 219 colors. Heavy-handed lossy JPG compression and wide margins were other methods to cut down picture size. I am glad to say that AOL is not doing that any more, but they did for many years and the term has stuck. Many graphics programs and even cameras still let you mess with the JPG compression ratio, and they suggest a compromise between Highest Quality and Smallest File Size. JPG compression is "Lossy Compression". It washes color depth out of the picture. Once those pixels have been thrown away, you can never get them back. So it is best to check all your graphics programs and make sure each is set to save files at "Highest Quality". You can always weed out pictures if you need more space, but it is usually impossible to go back and re-take old pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "That's strange" said the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Measure Oil Before Honey Whenever a recipe calls for honey, first measure out the oil for the recipe (or if it doesn't call for oil, just spread a little oil all over the measuring cup). Then measure out the honey, and it should come out of the cup like a charm! By estypesty from Baltimore, MD http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Three old pilots walking on the ramp. The first one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one yells in reply, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one hollers back, "So am I. Let's go get a beer!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
From Ms Myrna What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

» Intl Atomic Energy






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Use Picasa to organize pictures 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 28, 2011

Today I felt I could dare going for a walk, so I bundled up 
comfortably, checked which way the wind was blowing, and
walked around the block. That's when I realized, I should have 
taken the camera along. 

Even though the wind was nasty and there was no sun, the
frosty trees looked too pretty for not sharing.

So I got the camera and walked around the block again, and  
this time took those pictures for you. Since heart and lungs
were cooperating, I walked a bit further than planned, and
got almost two miles together. 

The feet are still swollen and sore, but thanks to sanding them
a bit every day, they are getting better. Tomorrow I will try
for two and a half miles!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." --- Franklin P. Jones
Coming out of church, Mrs. Smith asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?" "I didn't notice," admitted Mr. Smith. "And that dress Mrs. Davis was wearing," continued Mrs. Smith, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two." "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Smith. "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Smith. "A lot of good it does you to go to church!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" Doc asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," Doc said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime!"
Managed to go for a walk today, then went again after getting my camera. Click through the picture to the large version. Click through the picture to the large version. Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kevin Lee Cokayne, 24, Man named Cokayne arrested for...drug dealing The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed because otherwise it wouldn’t be that interesting. The Fairfax County police on Tuesday arrested a man named Kevin Lee Cokayne and charged him with dealing drugs. The police were looking to acquire Cokayne, so they went to a house on Franklin Farm Road in the Herndon area and found Cokayne in a rented apartment in the basement, according to a search warrant affidavit filed in court . As the undercover detective walked downstairs and discovered Cokayne, the detective asked if he could search the apartment. That was no good for Cokayne, who told the detective, “I don’t see why you want to waste your time for an eighth of weed. It’s a misdemeanor,” according to the affidavit. So the cops got a search warrant for the home of Cokayne. But apparently Cokayne was selling marijuana, not cocaine, the court documents indicate. Police found a safe with marijuana, a wooden box with marijuana, two jars containing marijuana, a smoking device with marijuana, a digital scale, and “records and documents for Kevin Cocaine [sic],” a search inventory reveals. Cokayne, 24, was charged with two felony counts of distributing marijuana. On what appears to be his Facebook page, he has a picture of an eight-ball. We could not make this up.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lori Re: Picasa Dear Webby I am so glad you are feeling better. Thoughts and prayers on your speedy recovery. In reference to Jai, who needed to find pictures on his computer, I think it would be much easier to just download Picasa. It will search the hard drive for all pictures. It also makes it incredibly easy to email your pics or send them off to be printed. Here is the link for easy access http://picasa.google.com/ Once again, stay healthy--I enjoy your letter so much each morning with my coffee. Hugs, Lori Thanks Lori Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

At 75 Millie still walked down to the park every day, sat on "HER" bench and fed old bread from the old folks home kitchen to the birds. One day she picked up a whole loaf that had gone past it's prime instead of the buns she usually got. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each bird with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of dumb birds that could find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. She smiled at him and exclaimed:" That is an excellent idea!" Then she handed him the half loaf of bread she still had, and said: "Here, you bring it to them."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Post-It to Clean a Keyboard A few years ago I thought I was so bright when I cleaned my keyboard with the edge of an index card. That is completely outdated. Today I learned to use the sticky edge of a Post It. I got gunk out of there I didn't even know I had brought near my computer. Try it. You'll be amazed that something so simple, works so great. Source:Tip in a Yahoo news article. By MartyD http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ An ordinary vacuum cleaner works even better. You don't have to reach in between the keys. Anything that fell into the cracks, can be easily sucked out with vacuum. You don't need any fine crevice tools, even just the hose is enough. Fitst vacuum the keyboard just dry, as is, wipe the keys with a fairly wet sponge or micro-fiber rag, then vacuum it dry. It just takes a few seconds per keyboard. Have FUN! Dearwebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once." "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?" "Well, I don't know about yours, but MY mother did."

» Russian Aurora Borealis






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Finding specific pictures on the hard drive 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, March 27, 2011

Thanks, Conrad!
Thanks Elizabeth!

"No boots on the ground in Libya!" Yeah, right. 
Just sneakers and sandals. The 1200 troops are not wearing
their regular uniforms, same as the rebels are also disguised
as innocent civilians, even though they carry machine guns
and grenade launchers. 

Arresting a machine gun carrying innocent civilian is an atrocity,
bombing a truck convoy, that might potentially harass the
poor, innocent, machine gun carrying civilian, that is just 
humanitarian work, especially if the civilian is a member of 
Al Quaeda and / or the Islamic Brotherhood. 
Aren't those the good guys, according to the White House?

Well, the US, British and French troops and air attacks have
successfully pushed back the enemys of Al Quaeda,
and Obama is happy about that.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. --- Socratex Those men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight, they should do it out of sight of women. ---Liz Taylor
A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" he asked. The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A child was on his first visit to the country at his grandparents' ranch and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard. He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was making breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come and see! One of the chickens is blooming!"
Click through the picture to the large version. Ajanta caves, India
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chad A. Baxa and Rhonda F. Wilson in Lincoln, Nebraska Fussy counterfeiters A man and woman who police say paid for a pizza with a pair of fake $5 bills Wednesday called the restaurant and complained it was too doughy, police say. A manager at the Pizza Hut already had called police, and shortly after Chad A. Baxa and Rhonda F. Wilson got their replacement pizza, officers went to Baxa's mobile home in west Lincoln to question the pair. Officer Katie Flood said police searched the trailer at 2340 W. O St. and found a pouch with four fake $5 bills in the kitchen and Wilson, 47, of Raymond, hiding in a bedroom. Baxa, 31, and Wilson were jailed on suspicion of possessing a forged instrument and first-degree forgery. Baxa also was arrested on suspicion of failing to comply with police and resisting arrest, Flood said. Police say he ran inside after an officer told him to take his hand from his pocket.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jai Re: Finding lost pictures Dear Webby Hope you are improving as each day passes... I have a problem with my pc, or rather myself involved with my pc. Seems years back I loaded a bunch of photos (of my now dead Arabian horse) onto my pc. I forgot them, and just discovered them recently. I neglected to note where they were, and now cannot find them again. I need to get to them as I need to do a format, and do not want to lose them. Do you have any idea how to find them? I have no idea what name they are under, so cannot do a search for them. Thanks loads, you always know how to do stuff we cannot seem to do. I appreciate you so much. Jai Dear Jai Make a folder in the root directory or some easy to find location, and call it AllPix Do a search for *.jpg and drag them all to C:\AllPix View the C:\AllPix directory in Thumbnail mode and locate those horse pictures. When you got them, drag them to an easy to find and remember location. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

During a readiness exerciseBob and Jim were guarding the entrance to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept. When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it. "I don't see why I have to show you my ID," the pilot snapped. "After all, it is my plane." "Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane," replied Jim, "but it's sitting in my garage, and if you don't change your attitude right now, you will never see it again!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Coffee Filters Instead Of Paper Towels Save on paper towels by using round coffee filters instead. They are the size of your hand which is the area you generally use on a paper towel. You can buy filters unbleached too, if you prefer. You get plenty per pack for a dollar and they have a million uses. As I use them I just set out a new pile of them on the counter so they are right where I need them. Source: I changed coffee pots and had plenty left over that I just started to grab them. By darli1115 from Chicago, IL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ You can trade filters at most coupon trading pages. For cleaning, just about anything works better than unused coffee filters. Best are MicroFiber cloths. The claims you read about them, are true. I have a stack I bought in the mid 90's, and they are as good as new. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually. Liz: I'm the examiner!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do that."

» An incredible Creature






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Finding lost pictures 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, March 26, 2011

Friday it was foggy, frosty and snowing. The trees and bushes
would have looked quite nice with all that thick frost, if the sun
had broken through. 

The wind shifted to the East and filled in the low areas between
the snow drifts. No gullible warming here in Alberta. 
Actually, it looks exactly like 70's style climate, with too 
much snow to melt before April.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. --- Mark Twain The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. --- Dudley Moore
The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced. Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over. They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it and had already done that once.
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

In bygone days, a thin man insulted a fat man. The fat man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols. On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution. "Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body," he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines, we won't count."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lebain Preston, 40, in Foley, Alabama Man who served 16 years for stealing six-pack, $29 arrested again for similar offense in Foley FOLEY, Alabama -- A Foley man who spent 16 years in jail after robbing an Opelika convenience store at knifepoint in 1992 was arrested Monday on a charge that he did the same thing at a Tom Thumb gas station in Foley. "It’s almost as if he wanted to get caught," Lt. David White of the Foley Police Department said Tuesday. "He looked right at the camera when he walked into the store." In the 1992 incident, Lebain Preston stole a six-pack of beer and took $29 in small bills while drunk. He was sentenced to 23 years in that case and was paroled in 2008, court records indicate. On Monday, the 40-year-old allegedly took a 12-pack and $37 from the Tom Thumb on Ala. 59, White said. In this case, like the previous one, "it appears that he had been drinking," White said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jai Re: Finding lost pictures Dear Webby Hope you are improving as each day passes... I have a problem with my pc, or rather myself involved with my pc. Seems years back I loaded a bunch of photos (of my now dead Arabian horse) onto my pc. I forgot them, and just discovered them recently. I neglected to note where they were, and now cannot find them again. I need to get to them as I need to do a format, and do not want to lose them. Do you have any idea how to find them? I have no idea what name they are under, so cannot do a search for them. Thanks loads, you always know how to do stuff we cannot seem to do. I appreciate you so much. Jai Dear Jai Make a folder in the root directory and call it AllPix Do a search for *.jpg and drag them all to C:\AllPix View the C:\AllPix directory in Thumbnail mode and locate those horse pictures. When you got them, drag them to an easy to find and remember location. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one - none of that three wishes jazz, OK?" The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying, and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie was taken aback a bit, but after some thought said, "No, I don't think I can do that; think about the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement and steal and concrete that would be needed. I'm sorry, you will have to choose another wish." The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why do they get upset at us so easily, what are their true desires and needs? What do they mean when they say "Nothing!". Basically what makes them tick?!" The genie stared at him and blinked a couple times. "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Extra Earrings as Push Pins Have you ever lost an earring rendering the other one useless? Try using your old earrings or mismatched ones as thumb tacks on a bulletin board. Not only does it give a funky eclectic vibe but it also serves a purpose. By abrupt_silence http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A theologian and an astronomer were talking together one day. The astronomer said that after reading widely in the field of religion, he had concluded that all religion could be summed up in a single phrase: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," he said, with a bit of smugness, knowing that his field is so much more complex. After a brief pause, the theologian replied that after reading widely in the area of astronomy he had concluded that all of it could be summed up in a single phrase also. "Oh, and what is that?" the astronomer inquired. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star; how I wonder what you are!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?" "Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?" "There are so many soldiers with beards, but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards." "Oh, that's because most men, who go to Heaven, get there by a close shave."

» Freeze






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Copying one paragraph only 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 25, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Now there are 28 countries ganging up on Gadafi, 
supposedly enforcing a No-Fly Zone. The few planes he had, 
have all been destroyed on the ground by mid week, but the
way the news get twisted, those 28 countries are relly worried,
that ol Gadafi might put on his sandals and whoop them!

Wherever Gadafi's cops and military interfere with looting
and destruction and other peaceful opposition demonstrations, 
they get attacked with Coalition jets, missiles and artillery, 
by 28 countries. He really has them worried now, and the
prime topic in Washington and Brussels now is figuring out
a safe exit strategy.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. --- David T. Wolf Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings. --- Evan Esar Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. --- Blore's Razor
An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" The woman turns to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!" The patrolman said, "May I see your license?" The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave him her license. The patrolman said, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the most absentminded woman I've ever met." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's sitting on the remote?"
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Crystal Ivory, in Riviera beach, Florida Woman drives off in Riviera Beach police cruiser after being handcuffed in back seat RIVIERA BEACH — Like a scene out of an action film, police say, a woman was handcuffed and placed in the back of a police cruiser today, only to shift her wrists to the front of her body, squeeze through a window to enter the driver's seat and escape in the cop car before striking a pickup truck. According to a spokeswoman from the Riviera Beach Police Department, police responded to a call about a possible sexual assault this afternoon. After arriving on the scene at the 1300 block of North Congress Avenue, police determined that the subject of the call, Crystal Ivory, "may have been experiencing some type of mental illness event due to the nature of actions witnessed by the officers," the spokeswoman said in a news release. Ivory was placed in the back of the police car for her own safety while police officers investigated. That's when the mayhem began. After managing to drive away in the cruiser, Ivory allegedly drove north on Congress Avenue to Blue Heron Boulevard where she struck a white pickup. She then continued northbound for about 300 more feet before crossing a median and coming to a stop near a bank parking lot on the west side of Congress Avenue, according to the release. Ivory, as well as the driver of the truck, were transported to the hospital for observation and treatment.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marge Re: Copying one joke only Dear Webby Now for the real question. There are times when I want to save just one or two of the jokes but I can't seem to do it. What is the right way to do this? Marge Dear Marge Line up the joke that you want to copy so that all of it shows on the screen. Click at the begin of it, hold down the SHIFT key, and without letting go of it, click the mouse at the end of the joke. Now it is highlighted. Hit CTRL and C simultaneously to copy it. Jump to where you want to paste it, click at the spot where you want it, and hit CTRL V to paste it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was, however, not at all happy with it, so she called over the waiter and said: "I've sure tasted fresher fish!" "Not in here," replied the waiter.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Aquarium Water For Plants Dirty fish tank water makes great plant food. Instead of pouring all those great nutrients down the drain use it to make your plants look great. When I clean my 29 gallon tank I empty the water into my kitchen trash container then plunge an empty plastic kitty litter jug into it and fill it with the plant water. An empty cleaned out milk jug could be used. If you don't use it right away, be sure to shake it before using as it does tend to settle on the bottom. It works better than plant food in my opinion. By dlginlove from Saint Peters, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possibilities of the brokerage business. "Look at that yacht," he said as they drove slowly past a marina. "That 96' beauty belongs to the senior partner at Merrill Lynch. That one over there 104' is owned by the head of Goldman, Sachs. And look at that huge 210' yacht out there. That's the pride and joy of the top seller at Prudential-Bache." His friend Morris was silent. Goodman turned to look at him and saw a pained look on his face. "What's the matter?" Goodman asked. "That economy rowboat rental down there beside the marina, " Morris said,. "is that for the people they have sold to?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.

» Human Planet (make time!)






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How secure is Skype? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thank you, Norm!


Hold off with either updating FireFox to 3.6.15 or with today's
Adobe Bug Fix. If you do update both, don't keep too many
tabs open, and expect a lock-up.

3.6.15 and 3.6.16 work fine with yesterday's Adobe and 
don't seem to cause any lock-ups.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. --- Kahlil Gibran Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word. --- Charles De Gaulle
This morning my neighbor came over and we shot a few lines of bull, and settled the world problems. When I asked him why he never brought his wife with him, his response was: "The last time she got ready to go out with me on the same day, was when the Fire Alarm Went Off."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks. "That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied. A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him. "Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last batch too close together."
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Keith gruber, 49 of Swan Lake, NY NY Man Jailed After Bringing Beer To DWI Hearing A 49-year-old Sullivan County man was sent to jail without bail Monday after authorities said he showed up an hour and a half late for a court hearing on a felony DWI charge. If that wasn’t bad enough, Keith Gruber was intoxicated and was carrying an open can of Busch beer and had four more cans in a bag when he went through the courthouse security check, police said. Gruber, of Swan Lake, appeared Monday before Sullivan County Judge Frank LaBuda, who asked him if he enjoyed his “liquid lunch,” The Middletown Times Herald-Record reported. Gruber said he did, then said he was sorry. LaBuda sent him to jail with no bail. Gruber, who has prior DWI convictions, was arrested on Dec. 27 in the town of Liberty and was out on $30,000 cash bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nat Re: How secure is Skype? Dear Webby How secure is Skype? Can anybody intercept Skype messages, calls or video, and harvest the information? Nat Dear Nat With enough time and enough money, any encryption can eventually be broken. However, if it costs Millions, and takes many years to break it, it is not practical to even try. For all practical purposes, Skype is perfectly secure. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals: "We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Sheets Inside Pillowcases This tip will save you looking for a matching bottom and top sheet with matching pillowcases. Put folded sheets and one of the pillowcases inside one of the pillowcases. Next, place a used dryer sheet in also and it will keep them smelling sweet. Everything can be stored neatly in its own case! No more hunting for a matching set. Saves time and the sheets smells fresh because of the dryer sheet! By Dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
From Kim: During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the field roughing it. It rained the entire week. We arose daily in our swampy tent, took a cold-water beauty bath from our helmets, donned our pistol belts and ponchos, and trudged through the mud to set up field hospitals. Obviously, our personal appearance frequently left much to be desired. The final blow to our feminine pride occurred while we waited in the mess line in the mud and rain. A young private came by with a camera and asked to take our picture. "It will prove to my girl," he said, "that she has NO reason to be jealous!" Thanks to the excellent health care plan of the Army, he will eventually be able to talk and walk again, but it may take a while.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr , I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong. "Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?" Being a nurse of long standing, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!" At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again, "Are my test results back from the lab ???

» 10,000 Birds






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Dear Twilight Fans 


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Snakes on a Plane - Canadian Style 


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Drivers back-up 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 23, 2011

From John B.:
I am from Wisconsin and don't know what a Wisconsin fleabagger is.  
Can you explain to me and others in a forthcoming issue?
    John

Dear John
The Democratic minority Wisconsin Senators who fled outside the state, 
in order to prevent a democratic vote, are generally referred to as 
flee-baggers or fleabaggers.

I find it amazing that the fleabaggers call themselves Democrats, 
even though they are sabotaging democracy and not allowing the
legitimate majority to vote.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter
Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work. But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. "Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

From Rose: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you look pretty good too!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel E. Rahynes, 35, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Harrisburg man gave bank tellers ID, then robbed bank City police had no trouble identifying an accused bank robber who gave tellers his identification so he could open an account before changing his mind and demanding cash Sunday, officers said. Officers said tellers at the Metro Bank on Second Street thought Daniel E. Rahynes, 35, of Harrisburg was interested in opening an account when he came in around 1:40 p.m. So they asked for two forms of identification, which he handed over, and got him started on the application. Rahynes then announced that he’d made a mistake and said he was actually there to rob the bank, officers said. He drove off in a nearby car with a small amount of cash, officers said. Moments later, that same car hit another vehicle at Second and Maclay Streets and kept going, officers said. Detectives meanwhile confirmed Rahynes’ identity and got an arrest warrant for him. Later in the afternoon, Rahynes was arrested by state troopers for suspicion of driving under the influence after he got in another crash in the Carlisle area, officers said. Troopers found out about the bank robbery warrant, recovered the money and handed Rahynes over to city police, officers said. Rahynes faces various charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brie Re: Driver Back-Up Program Dear Webby Brie Our consultant tried to sell us a program that backs up all the drivers for printers and so on. Do we really need that? Brie Dear Brie I used to back up drivers but found that to be a silly nuisance. Some of them won't install properly unless installed from the CD that came with the device they are for, and some have become obsolete. For example, if you send a printer to the garage sale and get a new one, do you really bother to get rid of the driver for the old one? The same goes for fax programs. Each one that you try and discard leaves behind a driver. That of course leads to a dangerous accumulation of drivers that may or may not interfere with each other or other programs. At best they waste time during start-up, at worst they prevent programs or devices from operating as well as they should. Drivers are easy enough to download from the manufacturers web site, and if you get a CD with a new device, store that in a ziplock bag taped to the side of that machine. That way, if you replace the harddrive or the computer, you got everything handy. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals: "We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Sheets Inside Pillowcases This tip will save you looking for a matching bottom and top sheet with matching pillowcases. Put folded sheets and one of the pillowcases inside one of the pillowcases. Next, place a used dryer sheet in also and it will keep them smelling sweet. Everything can be stored neatly in its own case! No more hunting for a matching set. Saves time and the sheets smells fresh because of the dryer sheet! By Dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the entire store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - Let me show you how."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. Even though she was not injured, he carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs. As they arrived safely outside the building, she looked at him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful. It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me the way you did." "Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off three other firemen who were trying to get to you."

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Gun Control 


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Fuzzy digital pictures 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What is going on with the Wisconsin Fleabaggers?

They did over 6 Million bucks worth of damage, and so qualify 
for the same left-wing media patronage as the anti Gadafi rebels. 

What if the Fleabaggers appeal to 22 nations for armed support?

I know, Harper would tell them "Sorry, our helicoppers are both in 
Afghanistan, and you can't have our snow-blowers! 
Besides, we are on the side of the majority, not on the side of 
the noisy hostage takers and trouble-makers."

Venezuela and Iran would probably respond more favorably to
the accusations and peas for help by the Fleabaggers, that 
they are getting unjustly persecuted and their rights to destroy, 
pillage, and loot getting interfered with.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. --- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. --- Friedrich Nietzsche Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it. --- Tallulah Bankhead
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get Mother !"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

At a a crowded and busy bus stop, a woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the top step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screamed, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tamera Grant, 49, Costa Mesa, California Calif. woman nabbed in odd mail attempt COSTA MESA (KTLA) -- A woman was hospitalized Saturday after being bit by a dog while trying to break in to the Department of Motor Vehicles office in Costa Mesa, police said. According to Costa Mesa police, 49-year-old Tamera Grant drove her car into the front of the office in the 600 block of West 19th Street around 5:30 p.m. Saturday and tried to access several computers. Police, fire, highway patrol and bomb squad officials responded within minutes to the location, which was closed for the weekend. After a two hour stand-off, Grant emerged and was trying to get back into her vehicle when a police dog attacked her. She sustained minor dog bites to her hand and head, Costa Mesa police told KTLA. Officers on scene noted that Grant, a resident of Irvine, may be suffering from a mental disorder. She was taken to a local hospital for her injuries and arrested around 7 p.m. Saturday on charges of attempted burglary.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kath Re: Fuzzy pictures Dear Webby Some of my digital pictures turn out nice and sharp, but others, with exactly the same setting (Auto), are fuzzy. The mid day pictures seem to be the sharpest ones. Kath Dear Kath Most likely your camera has a small lens and needs to take longer exposures when light is limited. With longer exposures the slightest microscopic jitter will cause fuzzy pictures. I would recommend that you use a sturdy tripod or an old leather purse filled with rice and glued shut. Balance the camera on that for a super steady shot and clear pictures.. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

And that reminds me of ANOTHER bus joke: Reverend George had minor surgery after a bad accident and gets on the bus to get back to the rectory. He looks quite bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the anesthetic. He staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly woman. She looks Reverend George up and down and screeches at him: "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The Reverend George jumps up out of his seat and shouts: "Hold it, driver! I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Label Tops of Electric Plugs This isn't exactly a money-saving tip - it's more of an "annoyance minimizing" tip. It seems like every time I grab a plug to plug something in, I am holding the plug upside down. To make it quicker, I put a dot of red nail polish on the top of every plug so I can tell instantly if I have it the right way up. By lindal from Vista, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ For those of you, who don't have red nail polish handy, I recommend Nissen Metal Markers. You can buy them from industrial suppliers or on-line. I prefer the super-fine soft-barrel markers. They are absolutely permanent on metal, plastic, glass, stone and wood and also work well for identifying tools, appliances and keys. Have FUN! DearWebby . Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the man left his baseball hat on the bench, but didn't miss it until they were back on the highway and the sun was glaring into his eyes. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The woman fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. She called him every bad name she could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and he got out of the car to retrieve his cap, the woman yelled to him, "And while you're in there, you might as well get my glasses too."

» Ugly






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Story 


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Adope Flash Player pause problem 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 21, 2011

What's the big rush about everybody ganging up on Gadafi?

I am by no means a fan of Gadafi, and think he should have been
dealt with after Lockerbie. But until this weekend everybody 
said, that an a..hole like him was necessary, to keep his 
barbarians under control. Now suddenly, there is a big panic.

Twenty Two countries are suddenly eager to test their new and 
old missiles. They seem to be extremely concerned that, if 
Gadaffi's opposition was given time to get organized, they 
would take over the world by Friday!

So the opposition now gets frantic support. News coverage
by The Enemy Times and The national Enquirer is twisted in 
their favor. It's quite OK that the heroic rebels in Benghazi
do a bit of looting and burning and atrocifying, after all,
they are opposing Gadafi and the brutal cops, that have the 
nerve to frown upon a bit of friendly looting.

To support the heroic rebels in Benghazi, Gadafi's sports car
museum in Tripoli was destroyed with a whole bunch of British 
cruise missiles. And Gadafi's phony cease fire was broken
by some heavy ship-to-shore artillery from a US war ship in
the Mediterranean. 

Somehow I have a hunch, that with THAT much incompetence 
on the lose, this is not going to be over soon.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience. --- Shelley Winters
During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?" "Yes, was the reply, "I once cured a millionaire of indigestion in just thirty three visits!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture of blue orchids: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Adam Yarbrough, 22, Indianapolis, Indiana Female Cop Rejects Moped Boy's Sex Bribe MARCH 14--When a female cop pulled him over last night for driving his moped erratically on an Indiana interstate, Adam Yarbrough allegedly sought to bribe the officer with $5, a kiss, and the promise of having sex with her. Somehow, Officer Christin Rudell turned down the three-pronged offer and instead busted Yarbrough, 22, for felony bribery, according to an Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department report. Yarbrough is pictured in the mug shot at right. Yarbrough was pulled over at 11:45 last night after Rudell spotted him “swerving in his lane” on his green moped. After Rudell, 31, ticketed him for several vehicular infractions, Yarbrough said, "How about we call it even and I give you five dollars and you just get rid of this ticket and let me go?" Though Rudell explained that “there would be no exchange and that he needed to take the citation,” Yarbrough persisted. This time, according to the report, Yarbrough said, “OK if you won't take the money how about I give you a kiss? And well I haven't had sex in a while so how about we do that?" Rudell then arrested Yarbrough for bribery. Yarbrough “continued to make sexually explicit remarks” and yell profanities, Rudell noted, adding that she asked him several times to lower his voice. When he refused to comply, the cop “added disorderly conduct to his charges. Yarbrough is being held in lieu of $120,000 bond at the Marion County jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rita Re: Flash Player Problems Dear Webby Most radio stations seem to be using the Adobe Flash player. Which browser / player combination causes the fewest lock-ups? Thanks Rita Dear Rita Try the newest FireFox and the newest Adope Flash Player. Yes, it IS a tedious nuisance to install the flash player. They act, as if they had proof that YOU were going to take apart their code, fix it and compete against them. Just elbow your way through that nonsense and install it. The current version does not lock up, unless you pause the playing. Don't expect the pause bug to get fixed in the near future, just get used to hitting refresh and hunting for where you left off. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

Thnks to Rose for this: Thanks to Lily for this one: While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy bodice with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never wear that!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Toiletries When Staying at Hotels We always save the soap, shampoos, toothpaste, and lotions we get at hotels when we stay in them. They come in handy when we run out of out regular soaps and things, especially when we can't make it to the store right away. Plus, they are perfect for traveling when you don't want to bring your bigger bottles. When company is staying over it is nice to give them their own bar of soap with their towels, too! By morbetomommy from Topeka, KS http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Bob and Bill were sitting in a bar, and Bob was looking really down in the dumps. "What's the matter?" Bill asked. "I don't' get it," Bob sighed. "The dating scene is so confusing. There are so many damn people you have to please. "Like this one woman, she liked me, her mom liked me, but her father hated me. "Then there was this other woman, both of her parents really liked me, but SHE didn't like me. "And then there was this woman I met last night. She absolutely loved me, her parents seemed to really like me too, BUT her husband couldn't stand me!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

» Global Travel Photos
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iPad help 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, March 20, 2011

Thank you John!




Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. --- Willis Player
One night a man - who was in no shape to drive - wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along the road, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And just who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. Once an hour the nurses walked the patient in the hall, a nurses aide on each side with his arms over their sholders. Behind them the floor nurse stomped along, gesticulating with all kinds of fearsome devices and explaining just what kind of enema he would need if he stopped walking. After a week, the patient was ready to go home. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation but that they had been lucky to get him to the hospital in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," his daughter said, "Dad hasn't walked in over five years!"
Thanks to Christine for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carolee Bildsten, 57, in Gurnee, Ill Sex toy attacker pleads guilty GURNEE, Ill. (UPI) -- An Illinois woman accused of striking a police officer with a sex toy pleaded guilty to drunken driving and theft charges. Carolee Bildsten, 57, was sentenced to six months of periodic imprisonment and 30 months of probation after pleading guilty Monday in a Lake County court to felony aggravated driving under the influence and a misdemeanor count of theft, the Waukegan News Sun reported Thursday. Prosecutors said Bildsten, who was pulled over and charged with driving under the influence Sept. 5, faced the theft charge due to a separate incident in which she left a Joe's Crab Shack restaurant without paying her bill. She was found by a Gurnee police officer and given a ride home, where she claimed to have money for the restaurant bill, and upon arriving attacked the officer with "a clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device," a police report said. Bildsten had faced an assault charge stemming from the incident but the charge was dropped in exchange for her guilty plea.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Donovan Re: Pictures on iPad Dear Webby Good to have you back. I'm glad you're feeling better. Regarding the iPad, if Wayne calls 1-800-MY-APPLE, there's free tech support for the first three (?) months. Regards Donovan Dear Donovan Thanks for your tip! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

At a diner, I was standing in line to pay my bill behind two women who handed the young waitress a credit card. After swiping the card, she loudly called out to her manager, "Mr. Allen, what do I do if it says 'reject'?" As the women's faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr. Allen, also the cook, calmly walked out from the kitchen. "Well," he answered, the first thing you do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking about leaving a tip for the cook. Next you go check and see if McDonalds will take you back."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com A Drinking Straw for Dust Bunnies When those dust bunnies got away from me under my refrigerator I could never get to them back behind the grates. Well no more, I taped about one inch of a large drinking straw to the inside of the long slender attachment for my vacuum leaving the rest of the straw sticking out. I used masking tape making sure to cover the hole while securing the straw. After taking off the cover at the front bottom of the refrigerator I can now reach them. The little buggers can no longer stay safe back behind the grates as I can reach them with the flexible straw. By latrtatr from Loup City, NE http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses. "Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?" "Fishin', sir." "Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?" The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine cigar. His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today ?" The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported to his client: "Jill, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you." "Fair to both!?!" exploded Jill. "I could have done that myself. Why do you think I hired a lawyer?"

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Pictures onto an iPad? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 18, 2011

Thanks Carolyn!
Thanks Catherine!
Thanks Mary! Lilacs Forever!


McAfee has detected a surge of scammers using the 
tragedy in Japan to try conning people into sending 
money to them. Use extreme caution!
Some scammers are renting ad space on legitimate
sites, so don't be foled by where you see tose ads.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God. --- Heywood Broun In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right. --- Ellen Goodman Nowadays, getting it LEFT and getting noticed by the Enemy Times seems to be all that counts in journalism. --- Socratex And Walter, the Stonecarver sent this one: The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine. --- Abraham Lincoln
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, little Sally spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Katherine Morse, 49, in Westminster, Colorado Drunk driver approached police to complain WESTMINSTER, Colo. (UPI) -- Police in Colorado said a woman was arrested for drunken driving when she approached police at a crash site to complain about their parking. Westminster police said the incident began at 5:17 p.m. MDT Sunday while they were attempting to coax a drunk driver involved in a collision to exit his vehicle, KMGH-TV, Denver, reported Wednesday. "The first drunk was actually in his car and he wouldn't put it in park and the car was running," police investigator Trevor Materasso said. "So, the officers were on the passenger side of the car trying to get it safe, so that he couldn't drive away and hit somebody else." Materasso said an officer climbed into the man's passenger seat and turned off his car's engine. He said another motorist then got out of her car and approached the man's vehicle. "The officers are saying, 'Ma'am, you need to go back to your car.' And she gets belligerent with them, telling them it was a stupid place to do a traffic stop," he said. "And it turns out she too was drunk. "I wish every drunk would seek us out. It would be great," Materasso said. Katherine Morse, 49, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving and obstructing police.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wayne Re: Picture on iPad Ok. Here's a question. How do I put one of your pictures on my iPad? Sent from my iPad Dear Wayne I have never had an iPad in my hand and haven't got a clue. You will have to ask somebody, who has one and who has access to the user manual. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

Maxine reported for her final examination which consisted of Yes / No answers. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for heads and "N" for tails. Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period, Maxine frantically started flipping the coin again. The moderator, concerned about what she was doing, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok. "Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago--but," explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I'm going back thru and checking my answers!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com A Drinking Straw for Dust Bunnies When those dust bunnies got away from me under my refrigerator I could never get to them back behind the grates. Well no more, I taped about one inch of a large drinking straw to the inside of the long slender attachment for my vacuum leaving the rest of the straw sticking out. I used masking tape making sure to cover the hole while securing the straw. After taking off the cover at the front bottom of the refrigerator I can now reach them. The little buggers can no longer stay safe back behind the grates as I can reach them with the flexible straw. By latrtatr from Loup City, NE http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately she began flirting at him and and flattering him outrageously. Naturally he liked the young ladys attention, but he was taken a bit aback by her fast and ardent pitch. He was utterly amazed when after 30 minutes she seriously proposed marriage. "Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young lady declared. "For the past 5 years your paycheck has been automatically deposited to the bank where I work. Just because you prefer to use the ATM machine outside, that doesn't mean I don't know all about you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A doctor sees an old man merrily walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm and recognizes him as one of his clients whom he had not seen in quite a few years. Half a year later he sees the old man and his young companion at the bank in line ahead of him. The doctor says, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." "I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart murmur, be careful..." "Too late!", the woman replied, "we like the other version better and got married 3 years ago!"

» Big Rock Candy Mountain






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Stimulus Story 

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower. The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town prostitute that in these hard times, gave her services on credit. The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there. The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism….

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States does business.

At least the hooker and the hogs made out okay.



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Home again! 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 18, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


I am home again!

According to the doctors, 
I am not supposed to drive for a month,
exert myself for two months, 
go to work for three months,
smoke for 30 years.
Easy for them!

Well, I found out what the problem with my feet is.
They  had swelled up and gotten so painful in the hospital, 
that I could barely shuffle along slowly.
After I spotted blood on the hospital floor, I took a closer 
look at my feet. Deep cracks from the excessively dry air.
None of the nurses, to whom I had complained about painful
feet, had said anything. They were probably scared, that
somebody might ask them to sand those callouses down.

Well, I am going for a soak in the tub now, and then sand down 
the callouses, so that the skin can heal together again. 

My biggest problem, though, is sleeping. 
When connected to oxygen at the hospital, I can sleep OK.
Withou that, I wake up with a panicky feeling 2-3 minutes after 
falling asleep. Not restful at all!
Having somebody toss a boot at me, when I stop breathing,
would be a fantastic improvement!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. --- Pat Paulsen Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too. --- Richard M. Nixon
A russian wife shouts at her husband: " Drunkard! I can`t stand it any longer! Why are you constantly drinking vodka?" He replied: "I drink it becausche itsch liquid. If it wasch scholid, I`d chew it."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom have one," the other replied. "What's it for?" "It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered. "Every time mom stands on hers she gets really mad."
Rhanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Monroe LeBeau, 28, in Morris Lake, GA Doper abandons son A man pulled over for speeding in Milton ran from police, leaving his crying 6-year-old son, seven pounds of marijuana and $80,000 in vacuum-sealed packages in his Dodge Charger, police said. The suspect, Monroe LeBeau, 28, then tried unsuccessfully to carjack two residents of the Morris Lake subdivision, police said. Officers used tracking dogs to catch LeBeau in the subdivision. He was bitten twice by a K-9 unit but declined medical attention. The wild incident began Tuesday night on Deerfield Parkway when an officer clocked LeBeau driving 49 miles per hour, 14 over the speed limit. The officer "could smell a strong odor of marijuana coming from inside the vehicle," the police report states, and asked LeBeau to step to the back of the car while it was searched. That's when LeBeau took off down Morris Road toward Morris Lake, the report says. "When Mr. LeBeau ran from his vehicle towards Morris Lake, he left his six-year-old son in the back seat of the car unattended," the report states. "The child was not wearing a seatbelt and the door to the vehicle was left open toward traffic. The child was visibly upset and crying." LeBeau, of Norcross, also left behind a backpack containing several vacuum-sealed bags of marijuana, another backpack with loose bags of marijuana and a third bag with two vacuum-sealed packages, police said. Those packages each held $40,000 in cash, a Dodge Charger vehicle guide and a Marijuana Grower's Bible, according to the report. LeBeau was charged with obstruction, two counts of attempted robbery, reckless conduct, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, seatbelt violation, speeding and failure to maintain lane. LeBeau was booked into the Fulton County Jail, and his son was placed with a relative, AM 750 and now 95.5 FM News/Talk WSB reported.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: nobody Re: no question today Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

A very attractive lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Your Butter Wrappers I save my empty butter stick wrappers in a zip lock bag in the freezer. They usually have just enough butter on them to grease a cake pan with. After they are used, I move them to another ziplock baggie marked with a large x and refreeze to keep them critter free. They make great fire starters for the fireplace or lighting the trash. Cheap, but it works! By mom-from-missouri from MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Fisherman: "Hey, pal! You've been standing there watching me fish for three hours! Why don't you get a rod and reel and do some fishing yourself?" Onlooker: "No, thanks. I don't have the patience for it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Before our daughter went off to college, our family took a vacation in Colorado. So we flew to Denver and rented a car. We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, I noticed it swaying in the wind. Then a car went past us, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath my feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," I finally said. "What are you worried about?" our daughter replied. "It's a rental."

» Solid Rock Stars






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Thanks! 


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Happy St Patrick's Day! 



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Good Morning,  !
It's  Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St Patrick's Day!

They moved me into a room today, with huge store front type windows,
looking South over the reservoir and towards the mountains.
Once the blizzards stop, I am going to wish I had a camera here!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Lead me not into temptation. Just tell me where it is; I'll find it! --- Cookie
Thanks to Roland for this story: Didja hear about the hillbilly whose wife was an amputee? He figgered the "reckoned ammendment" of the constitution gar'n'teed him the privilege to purchase newlimbs for her. "Sez right heer, ah have the right to buy 'er arms." The hillbilly didn't exactly get it right. What he could do was have arms transplanted from a grizzly because ... she had the right to bear arms. And she could show them to anyone she pleased because ... she had the right to bare arms.
"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
Two English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London bus near an Irish nun. "We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one. "Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful." "Dear me!" said the first lady. "well where are you going?" "Salisbury," she replied. "But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first lady objected. At this point the Irish nun could no longer hold her tounge. "Why don't ye go t' hell," she suggested. "There be no Irish there!"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nathan Wayne Pugh, 49, of Sachse, Texas. Bank robber shows 2 setsof ID DALLAS -- A hapless bank robber who abided by a Dallas teller's request to provide two forms of identification before she could give him money is going to prison. A judge sentenced 49-year-old Nathan Wayne Pugh of Sachse to more than eight years on Tuesday, to be served concurrently with the 25 years he got for defaulting on 2 previous suspended sentences. He will probably not commit any morebank robberies for five years. While robbing a Wells Fargo Bank on July 26, Pugh gave the teller a note saying a “bom” was inside a paper bag he was carrying and ordered her to put money in an envelope. The newly-hired teller remained calm and asked Pugh to show her two IDs before she could give him the money. The absent minded robber complied and showed her his Wells Fargo debit card and a Texas state ID card. The teller had pressed the silent alarm at her teller station before giving Pugh $900, the only money in her cash drawer. Pugh took the money and proceeded to leave the bank when arriving police prompted him to take a customer hostage. However, that customer refused to participate and fought off Pugh, causing him to fall down hard. Police sat on him, and once they stopped laughing, arrested him.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: How to copy pictures from Newsletters Dear Webby I would like to copy some of the cool pictures you put in your Humor Letter but can't figure out how to print just the picture, without the rest of the letter. When I right click I get a box with "copy" in it but it don't work. Can you help? tx. Ron Dear Ron If you use "COPY", then you have to immediately jump to your paint program or word processor and click on "PASTE". The "COPY" command only copies it into the temporary clipboard. Instead of "COPY", you can select "SAVE AS", then tell it the file name and folder that you want. Have Fun! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
"I presume, Mrs Murphy, you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" "Indeed I do, sir, it's a lock of my Dan's hair." "But your husband is still alive." "That he is," said she "but his hair is long gone!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cereal Box Liner for Child's Craft Surface I use the cereal box liners as a protective surface when children are painting or gluing. Open the bag up on the seam so that you have a good size surface. Happy crafting! By Cher from ME http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got Riley down and was hammering him unmercifully when Riley called out several times, "Enough!" As Casey paid no attention, but kept on administering punishment, a bystander said, "Why don't you let him up? Don't you hear him say that he's had enough?" "I do," says Casey, "but he's such a liar, you can't believe him."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Robby is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party."
And here is the "Specimen" joke so many of you ask for every St Patrick's Day. It's a classic Irish joke that may dent some people's halo, so if you are sensitive to rough language, skip this one. Maureen was feeling a bit ill, and not recovering from a night out anywhere near as fast as Paddy. So he sent her off to the doctor. She came back shortly with a puzzled frown and said: "Oh, Paddy, he wants a "Specimen", but fo the life o me I don't know if we have one or if we can affod t'buy one!" Paddy hemmed and hawed for a while, but couldn't figure it out either. So he finally suggested: "me lass, why don't you go upstairs and ask Maud O'Reilly, she used to work the streets in town and she'll know." So Maureen climbed up the stairs and knocked. Not a minute later, screaming and cussing and the noise of a ferocious fight echoed down the stairwell, soon followed by much banging and clatter as poor Maureen came tumbling down the stairs. As Paddy helped her up he asked her what happend. "Oh Paddy, she's so mean! All I did was ask her what a 'specimen' was, and she told me to 'piss in abottle'! So of course I told her to shit in a hat, and the fight was on."

» Finding a Shamrock





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How safe are online reservations? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The hoped for early release did not happen. Somehow, there was
a relapse and the lungs seemed to fill up with liquid again. 
That is not a confidence inspiring or cheerful feeling at all.
I wasn't continuously gasing for breath, but often enough, that I could
not relax. That made for a two hour night last night, no sleep at
all since then.

Since I was sitting up and working on my latop, they 
commandeered my bed for somebody, who needs a bed, 
and moved me to the TV lounge. It is going to be a long 
night.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends." --- Alphonse de Lamartine
Thanks to Carl for this story: A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
This drunk is sitting in a bar and asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender said, go down the hall & make a right. Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom again. This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He stops at the door and askes the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in there? You are scaring all my customers away." The drunk replies, "I'm sitting on the can and every time I go to flush it, something icey cold comes up and squeezes me where it hurts!" With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "Try sitting on the toilet instead of,the mop bucket!"
Thanks to Guinn for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Trias, 20, in Mesa, AZ Man's burglary plans hampered after he gets tangled in laundry hamper A bungling would-be burglar was stopped from carrying out his crime...by a laundry hamper. Michael Trias, 20, was in custody tonight after allegedly jumping through the bathroom window of an apartment in Mesa, Arizona. He fell from the window straight into the clothes basket that was directly underneath. Trias became tangled up in the basket, made from PVC and netting, and had to be helped by the owner of the house, who then escorted him outside to wait for police. The 45-year-old man was in the bathroom of his apartment when he heard a noise coming from his bedroom, Mesa police detective, Mike Melendez, told the Phoenix New Times. The man went to the bedroom with a broom as his defence, where he found Trias caught in the hamper. Authorities say no property was taken from the home, but there was some damage to the window.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fran Re: How reliable are on--line hotel bookings? Dear Webby How reliable is it to make hotel reservations over the net? I am planning a trip with the whole family and don't want to risk any nast last minute surprises. Fran Dear Fran I have not done it any other way in at least 15 years and never had a problem. I print out the order, confirmation, and road map to get from the freeway to the hotel of the day. If I am delayed and find that I may be very late getting to a hotel the next day, I email them and tell them not to expect me before for example 10 PM. You could never do that if you were just gambling on finding a motel with vacancies. Then you would have to be there by late afternoon and miss the best traveling time of the day. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
"Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "You've got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed when all of a sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes." The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?" "I push them away!" "I see. And what can I do to help you with this?" The patient implored, "Please,Doc... Break my arms!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Coffee My daughter taught me this tip about saving money on coffee costs. She worked in a fancy coffee shop and they taught her tons about coffee, even though she is not a coffee drinker. Grind your coffee very fine (espresso grind) and it will go much further. Only use half your normal amount of scoops to get the same or even darker pot of coffee. You may need to use a double filter in your drip coffee maker so no grounds get through. We have been doing this for awhile now and are very pleased with the results. And, our coffee costs are going down so we are even able to purchase socially responsible coffee also. By Suzanne from Bainbridge Island WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ One of the big "No-Name-Brand" chains, the one that uses "President's Choice" as a cover for some of their experimental marketing, many years ago came out with a "President's Choice-Extra Fine Grind" coffee. They didn't claim any specific origin or roast, just that it was extra fine and a blend. Yeah, right. Accidentally ground too fine for percolators and re-usable filters. May be 127 different blends. And it was VERY cheap. They considered it "reject", and did not know the value of it. Knowing the trick Suzanne writes about, I cleaned them out, and firmly made that experiment a permanent feature. That was about a dozen years ago a dozen years ago. In the meantime, due to increasing demand, the price of the "reject" coffee crept up to higher than big name brand regular grind, but it was still a very good deal. A 12 cup pot requires 6 heaping teaspoons for good, strong coffee, or 4 - 5 for all day sipping coffee. To get anywhere near the same flavor with Maxwell House, it takes 16 teaspoons. Eventually somebody clued in the manager there and told her that it was not appropriate for a No-Name-Brand store to use hard pricing according to demand, but that they should aim for a reputation of a fair, but not excessive mark-up. Since then the price was reasonable again. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Keep in mind that in Australia this is the hot season. The weather was very hot, so this preacher wanted desperately to take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So, he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which lay on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds." "Impossible," said the embarrassed preacher, "You really know what I'm thinking?" "Yes," the lady replied, "I know that you think that the bucket you're holding in front of you, has a bottom in it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting. When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!" "Something that THEY would not do.....", the husband mused, "I suppose, we could clean the house."

» Cuddly Critters





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History repeating itself with W7 ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Thank you, Carl!

Got moved out of the Intensive Care Cardiac section up to Tower 71
or Area 71. Even though I told her, that I could walk, a cute nurse
insisted, that I sit into a wheel chair. Am I THAT much easier to €
chase when I am sitting down ?

Then they piled stuff on me. 
First my laptop, then my laptop case, then four thick binders with my
name on them, then a bag with my clothes and sneakers, then an
armload of cables and monitoring stuff, an oxygen bottle, and as 
I was glancing aound for partridges and pear trees, she tucked a
mobile monitor under my nose. My job was not to enjoy the ride,
but to keep all the stuff from clattering down!

Must have looked hilarious! A big pile of mysterious stuff, with 
my nose and top of the head looking out over top of it,
hair blowing in the breeze, - yeah, it needs to be trimmed again-,
pushed by a grinning nurse, who is trying to scare me with 
power-drifts and 180-Escapes backwards into elevators.
We had a HOOT! She knew that route well and seemed to really 
thrive on encouragement.

Eventually we wound up in the right tower at the right level.
After she unloaded all the stuff off me, she started pulling cables
off me. Different set-up. I got my own roaming transceiver, and the
EKG and whatever leads just went to the transceiver in a pocket
in my goofy gown, sort of like a futuristic probation anklet that
transmits a live ElectroKardioGram.

The new location has a WINDOW! Looks NorthWest, away from the 
mountains, but there is sunshine and scenerey out there!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Economists are probably the one group who make astrologers look like professionals when it comes to telling the future. --- Socratex If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. ---- Socratex
A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o'clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again. He didn't arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, "What took ya so long? You're over two hours late." "Hey ! Give me a break." whined the Yuppie. "I have a 27 handicap!"
A question had appeared in a students' medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed to his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in attractive containers.
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Ouellette, 20, in Port Orange, Florida Motorcyclist caught trying to bribe a cop A motorcyclist was arrested in the Port Orange area early Saturday after he tried to bribe his way out of a speeding ticket, the Volusia County Sheriff's Office said. According to sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson, a deputy spotted 20-year-old Andrew Ouellette traveling 67 mph in a 50 mph zone on Nova Road about 3:30 a.m. Saturday. The deputy pulled Ouellette over near the intersection of Herbert Street and Old Hammock Road. According to the Sherriff's Office, Ouellette told the deputy he had been ticketed several times recently and "couldn't afford another one," asking if there was anything he could do to avoid being cited. Davidson said Ouellette then pulled a roll of cash from his pocket and asked the deputy, "Are you sure we can't do anything?" When the deputy handcuffed him, Ouellette insisted his comment was not meant to be taken as a bribe, Davidson said. "However, he also couldn't provide another explanation for the meaning of his comment."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Andy Re: Why not just get used to W7 ? Dear Webby I admit that my W7 computer is my first and only one. Sure, it IS frustrating, but that's the current Operating System, and all your complaining is not going to change it. Sooner or later you WILL have to get used to W7. Andy Dear Andy No, I won't. People told me exactly the same BS while VISTA was the "current" Operating System. Well, guess what? VISTA is on the same shelf as DOS-4, the FORD Edsel and a few similarly unpopular ideas. And like a lot of Industry and Commerce, I am still using XP. If the day ever comes, when I can't use XP, I will simply switch to Linux, or possibly MAC. I really don't care about the name of the Operating system, as long as it works reliably and predictably and fast. If Windows 9 is good enough, I'll gladly use it. But I am not going to slow down to W7 speed. It is actually not so much the computing speed of the Operating System, but the countless klutzy ways that W7 has, to make routine work take longer. Since you CAN pay a $70 penalty for W7-Plus (with XP factory installed), so that Microsoft can brag about "One more W7 sold!", it's not really a problem. The penalty is annoying, but not nearly as annoying as W7. By mid 2012 there will be enough Third Party utilities to smooth W7 enough to make it competitive. Rememeber, XP and XP-SP1 were not really that hot either, and a lot of Industry and Commerce hung on to Windows 98 until XP-SP2. Then we switched like a land slide. History might well repeat itself. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "It's so bad in our church now on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pouring Ketchup Faster When you have a sluggish ketchup bottle, push a drinking straw to the bottom and then remove it. This will allow enough air to start the the ketchup flowing. By Sandy from Graettinger IA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car; both ladies could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was again red, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention at the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. At this point she turned to her friend and said, "Mildred! Do you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could get killed us!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Holy Moly! Am I driving?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?" To which Jack replied, "The holes are numbered!"

» Wilderness Astronomky





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Ground Zero 

Ground Zero II

Have you ever wondered what would happen if a nuclear bomb goes off in your city?
With Google's Maps framework and a bit of Javascript, you can see the outcome.
And it doesn't look good.




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W7 Laptop gift or scam 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Monday, March 14, 2011

Thanks Guinn !
Thanks Bill !

Thank you also for the many get well cards and letters and prayers! 

Yes, I did stop smoking. 
The diet here is not helping any, but so far I am smoke free 
for ten days.

Today I am supposed to be able to see sunshine again.
Cardiac Intensive Care is pretty well in the center of RockyView
hospital, a quarter mile straight into the building from one of 
the ambulance ports. 

That deep into the building everything is totally quiet, absolutely
no indication  of a bustling city around it. 

Right now there are just four nurses in this unit, quietly working at
their computers, updating the data on their patients and listening
for beeps and squawks on the monitors. At this time of
night it is fairly quiet, but during daytime, when patients 
are more active, there is sometimes quite a racket going on.

Each event has a different tone. They can tell from the sound
alone, before even glancing at their copy of a room monitor,
whether the problem is a loose EKG wire, somebody's pulse or
blood oxygen too high or too low, or some printer out of paper,
or any of the things they watch. Quite an impressive set-up.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. --- Doug Larson Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. --- Christopher Hampton
If garbage workers in your community ever go out on strike, you might like to know how a wise New Yorker dispoed of his refuse for several days when sanitation workers were on strike. Each day he wrapped his garbage in gift paper. Then he put it in a shopping bag. When he parked his car, he left the bag on the front seat with the window open. When he got back to the car, the garbage had always been collected. --------------- That trick works for old monitors too, but I prefer to put them into the bed of a pick-up truck. Never had to haul one to the dump yet!
Martin was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When asked the reason for his haste, he shivered and explained: "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in my payments, she might decide to repossess me."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tina Belinda Masta, 46,in Naples, Florida Naked Naples woman arrested after throwing stones, teeth NAPLES — An intoxicated naked Naples woman threw stones at people and her teeth into a canal Saturday night, Collier County sheriff’s deputies reported. Deputies responded to a call of a woman who was drunk, naked, throwing rocks at people and calling them names in the Bayshore area of Naples at about 8 p.m. Saturday. When they arrived on Mango Drive, deputies found Tina Belinda Masta, 46, sitting on the dock near her home with a blanket wrapped around her. Masta then turned toward the deputies, took off her blanket and exposed herself to them, according to reports. She had taken some of her teeth out and threw them into the canal, she told deputies. Masta “kept picking at her teeth and asked to use some pliers,” deputies said. After Masta was arrested, a neighbor brought some of her clothes to the patrol car, deputies said. The male deputy helped dress Masta the best he could, according to reports. Witnesses said Masta cursed at three men, threw rocks at the men, pulled her clothes off and threatened to beat them up. Masta then tried to break a light and wooden fence, the witnesses told deputies. Deputies said Masta smelled of alcohol.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Irene Re: W7 Laptop gift or insult? Dear Webby I received an almost brand new W7 laptop from my EX-MIL. Personally, I don't like it at all. It is slow, klutzy, awkward, unpredictable, and without an external mouse, totally unusable. That idiotic touch pad is insane! And now she is hinting, that since she had bought me the Newest and Bestest, it would be appropriate, if I gave my old XP desktop to her. What would you suggest? Thanks Irene Dear Irene I probably should not answer that question while sitting on an uncomfortable Hospital chair in front of a very similar W7 lemon. When dealing with a crooked manipulator, you can't always remain on friendly terms. I would probably tell her where to stuff the lemon, and offer to assist. If you want to be diplomatic about it, tell her that, unfortunately, JUST LIKE HER, you can't use the W7 machine either, and she should try to get her money back from whoever conned her into it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them. Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. That's my ad."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Set Up a Week's Coffee on Sunday Night Save time by setting your weekly morning coffee up Sunday night. Just fill up seven coffee filters with your favorite grounds. Then stack the coffee filters on top of each other and place them inside an empty coffee can with a sealable lid. In the morning, just pull out a pre-filled filter, add water to your pot and serve to taste. By Florida Gal from Spring Hill, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A golfer's drive lands on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decides to hit it where it lies. He gives a mighty swing. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants explodes from the end of his club, but the golf ball remains in the same spot. So he lines up and tries another shot. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants goes flying again. The golf ball doesn't even wiggle. Two ants survive. One dazed ant says to the other, "Whoa. What are we going to do?" Says the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Sherry and Barbie got together on a regular basis, and they usually discussed families or local gossip. One day they decided to change things a bit, and discuss important political issues; the Middle East, Afghanistan, North Korea, etc. Barbie said, "But what about Red China?" Sherry responded, "Fantastic... it looks especially good on a white tablecloth!"

» Digesting Proteins and Starches





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Gratification 


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Back again! 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Sunday, March 12, 2011

I sure am glad to be almost back!
What happened?

First I had a weird flu, that hid a small heart attack.
Minor nuisance, I thought.. I'll burn that off in no time flat.
A few drops of Hydrogen Peroxide into each ear, and a very brisk
2 mile walk in the fresh snow on Feb 19, and half a day later, 
the flu was gone.

Strangely, a heavyness in the chest area remained, and a 
shortness of breath.

So, on February 26 I went for another one of those brisk two
Mile walks. Almost didn't make it back home due to serious
shortage of oxygen. Not a breathing obstruction, but similar
to climbing at very high altitude. The air was there, plenty
of it, but I just could not extract enough Oxygen from it.

Mentioned that to a friend, she chased an ambulance after me,
and when I did not go with it, argued me into going to the 
hospital the next morning.

The doctor there told me, after a whole battery of tests, 
including X-Rays, that I had COPD, pneumonia and emphysema.
Well, I was in rough shape, believed it, and went to Costco
to get $97.50 worth of pills.

Wednesday, March 2, I was feeling a bit better and went to see 
my regular doctor. Next morning I  drove to the bank to get
money for more prescriptin pills. Almost passed out at the
bank counter, went back outside for a puff of Apo Salvent,
went back in, scooped up my money, which the teller had ready 
by then. No questions asked, "Just don't die at THIS counter!"

Made it outside, to the car and opened the door. Sat on the seat,
with the feet outside, and gasped for breath, about two gasps
per second of crisp, clear, -22 morning air. While doing that, I had the
ridiculous thought that I was wrecking my voice for good and would 
never be able to sing again. Not that I ever wanted to, that is why it
was so ridiculous.

In the meantime I was beating my chest like a demented gorilla
to pump some blood up to the empty spaces between my ears.

Finally some bank customer called 911, eventually the ambulance
got there, put me on oxygen and calmed things down.

They hauled me to a hospital in Calgary, 60 miles away.
Another big series of tests, again including X-Rays.
And another expensive prescription for COPD, pneumonia and 
emphysema.

Next morning Barb's hubby Richard brought me to our little
local country hospital. After getting chewed out by former
drill sergeant Pat about my smoking habit, same range of
tests again. 16 vials of blood and two big X-Rays.

That doctor, who is a bit older than me, a REAL rarity, because
most seem to die off a couple of years after yelling at me for
smoking, told me: "Don't worry about COPD. You don't have it.
You had a heart attack, actually a bunch of them. We can fix that."

First he injected me with some drugs that drained the stuff
from the lungs and converted it to urine. By the time I had
filled about 5 Liter jugs, the ambulance was there, and took me
to Rockyview in Calgary again. 

Different entrance and staff, and a mobile digital X-Ray machine. 
The tech put a 2 foot by 2 foot tablet on a cord behind my back, 
focused the lights on my chest, grabbed a heavy lead apron,
ran 40 feet down the hall, held up the apron in front of her,
yelled "Deep Breath!", ducked behind a concrete pillar and hit the
remote control switch.

I never even had to get up from the stretcher! She pulled the
tablet from behind my back with it's power cord, and trundled
her baby elephant off down the hall. The picture had
already been transmitted to the Cardiac department.

Shortly afterward a genial specialist with a cute resident intern
in tow showed up from the opposite direction.

"Yep, you had some massive heart attacks. We'll put you into 
Cardiac Intensive care, settle you down some and then on 
Monday get you an angiogram, so that we can see what kind of 
damage you did to your heart.

OK, so while waiting for that, I am connected to ten (10)EKG 
wires leading to a monitor,that is just visible by geting out 
of bed and peeking up into the top corner behind the bed. That
monitor is connected to some network. Then I am also hooked up 
to a bunch of inttavenous lines, probably to make sure I don't
sneak out for a smoke.

To increase the stress level to absolute max, the inmates, 
ahem patients are not allowed to use the Internet. As you can
imagine, that is NOT going over very well.

Since I get six very strong wireless signals, I asked to talk 
to somebody in IT and / or Security about a donut shop style 
hot-spot password. 

They sent some older "lady", who had absolutely NO clue 
about the internet, but some totally INSANE notions about 
how a donut shop style hot-spot would compromise privacy. 

I tried to 'splain, using simple and short words, that a bank 
of wireless routers on top of the parkade tower, not connected 
to the Hospital at all, but directly to the Internet, and 
sponsored by a local donut shop, is not only totally secure,
but could even raise money for the hospital. I can think of
quite a few businesses, who would be quite proud to advertise, 
that they sponsor the Hot-Spot at the RockyView Hospital.

March 12: revise that.
It just required a bit more begging and pleading from different sides, 
and tonight, Saturday,  March 12, I got a basic connection.
I can't answer email just yet, but think I can send this out
Yeeee Hawwww!

I am still connected to more cables than half a dozen office computers,
have no mouse and am pecking away at an awkward laptop keyboard
at chin level, will have to stay another day or two, and most likely be 
getting into a meaningful relationship with an oxygen tank, but I am 
communicating with you again! That's all that counts!

Btw., I experienced a sudden and drastic change in my vision.
By pushing my glasses to the tip of my nose and leaning 10" 
further than I am used to, the screen is sharp again. Do any of you 
know, if that is due to the heart attack, or the sudden stopping
of smoking, and if the change is permanent? 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire crew stood at attention. "I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship." "Yes, of course," was the captain's unexpected reply. "Aha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of the third man from the left there in the rear rank?" "William Jones," said the captain. The Secretary addressed the seaman himself. "What's your name, lad?" he asked. "William Jones, SIR!" replied Seaman Dale Abernathy, "but you can call me Bubba."
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir', it's real simple: If the hatch or a door drips, don't open it."
How often have we heard that television watching can be detrimental? Pastor Bob carried that message one Sunday morning in an impassioned sermon on the evils of TV. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other, more worthwhile things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife muttered to the woman next to her, "but it gets awfully crowded in there, when Bob is out of town and his two brothers come over!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Lewis Ludwig, 54, of Okemos, Mich. Michigan Dentist caught usinf Veteran's creedit card A Michigan dentist in town for his son's baseball game was arrested late Saturday on credit-card theft and forgery charges after Polk County deputy sheriffs said he stole a college student's credit card and used it to buy pizza. Richard Lewis Ludwig, 54, of Okemos, Mich., also faces charges of impersonating and attempting to use the ID of another person without consent. The Polk County Sheriff's Office gave this account: The victim, Harrun Majeed of Davenport, accidentally dropped his credit card in the parking lot of a Publix at 2424 Sand Mine Road in Davenport on Saturday evening. Majeed, a military veteran studying at a community college, realized the card was gone when he got home and called to cancel it. While on the phone with the credit-card company, a representative told Majeed someone had used the card to make a purchase at Mia Pizza Pasta Kitchen, in the same plaza as the Publix where Majeed lost his card. Majeed immediately called the Polk County Sheriff's Office. Polk County deputy sheriffs arrested Ludwig after finding him at the restaurant waiting for his order. They said Ludwig admitted to finding Majeed's credit card in the parking lot, ordering two large pizzas with extra olives and using Majeed's card to pay the $40.64 bill. Ludwig had $250 in cash in his wallet at the time of his arrest, deputies said. When asked if he was having financial problems, the sheriff's office said, Ludwig laughed and said "absolutely not." He told deputies his net worth was between $3 million and $4 million. Ludwig told deputies he was visiting Polk County because his son is playing in a baseball tournament in Winter Haven.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Vern Re: Safe way to write Dear Webby Is there a way to write to old customers to tell them about a new catalog in a way that they don't put us on their mail-washer and filter us into the trash? Thanks Vern Dear Vern You probably toss mails into the trash, if they are obviously reminders about program updates, and figure, that other people do the same, when YOU try to remind them. Make it less obvious! Just send them a nice postcard, without even mentioning your product. If they like your product, they will make the connection, and go check it out. It is also quite helpful to occasionally send related articles, but don't be a nuisance about it. Only do that, when you come across something, that is really relevant and will be appreciated, not the first silly forward you come across. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Bill's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. When they were over for a weekend visit, she came into the front room where my office is. I guess I stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing I remember saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Spaghetti to Test When Baking http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Heard on a United Express flight during the exit announcement: "Please remove all personal items from the aircraft. Any items left on board can be found at my yard sale next Sunday."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Consider the fellow who went to a new doctor for his annual physical. "You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78," the man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year-old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off, and I would go outside for a walk to settle down," the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life, and the food at the golf club is pretty decent."

» Graffitti Slide Show





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Cheap Flights 



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Lost 


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