Fuzzy digital pictures 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What is going on with the Wisconsin Fleabaggers?

They did over 6 Million bucks worth of damage, and so qualify 
for the same left-wing media patronage as the anti Gadafi rebels. 

What if the Fleabaggers appeal to 22 nations for armed support?

I know, Harper would tell them "Sorry, our helicoppers are both in 
Afghanistan, and you can't have our snow-blowers! 
Besides, we are on the side of the majority, not on the side of 
the noisy hostage takers and trouble-makers."

Venezuela and Iran would probably respond more favorably to
the accusations and peas for help by the Fleabaggers, that 
they are getting unjustly persecuted and their rights to destroy, 
pillage, and loot getting interfered with.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. --- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. --- Friedrich Nietzsche Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it. --- Tallulah Bankhead
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get Mother !"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

At a a crowded and busy bus stop, a woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the top step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screamed, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!" The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tamera Grant, 49, Costa Mesa, California Calif. woman nabbed in odd mail attempt COSTA MESA (KTLA) -- A woman was hospitalized Saturday after being bit by a dog while trying to break in to the Department of Motor Vehicles office in Costa Mesa, police said. According to Costa Mesa police, 49-year-old Tamera Grant drove her car into the front of the office in the 600 block of West 19th Street around 5:30 p.m. Saturday and tried to access several computers. Police, fire, highway patrol and bomb squad officials responded within minutes to the location, which was closed for the weekend. After a two hour stand-off, Grant emerged and was trying to get back into her vehicle when a police dog attacked her. She sustained minor dog bites to her hand and head, Costa Mesa police told KTLA. Officers on scene noted that Grant, a resident of Irvine, may be suffering from a mental disorder. She was taken to a local hospital for her injuries and arrested around 7 p.m. Saturday on charges of attempted burglary.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kath Re: Fuzzy pictures Dear Webby Some of my digital pictures turn out nice and sharp, but others, with exactly the same setting (Auto), are fuzzy. The mid day pictures seem to be the sharpest ones. Kath Dear Kath Most likely your camera has a small lens and needs to take longer exposures when light is limited. With longer exposures the slightest microscopic jitter will cause fuzzy pictures. I would recommend that you use a sturdy tripod or an old leather purse filled with rice and glued shut. Balance the camera on that for a super steady shot and clear pictures.. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

And that reminds me of ANOTHER bus joke: Reverend George had minor surgery after a bad accident and gets on the bus to get back to the rectory. He looks quite bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the anesthetic. He staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly woman. She looks Reverend George up and down and screeches at him: "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!" The Reverend George jumps up out of his seat and shouts: "Hold it, driver! I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Label Tops of Electric Plugs This isn't exactly a money-saving tip - it's more of an "annoyance minimizing" tip. It seems like every time I grab a plug to plug something in, I am holding the plug upside down. To make it quicker, I put a dot of red nail polish on the top of every plug so I can tell instantly if I have it the right way up. By lindal from Vista, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ For those of you, who don't have red nail polish handy, I recommend Nissen Metal Markers. You can buy them from industrial suppliers or on-line. I prefer the super-fine soft-barrel markers. They are absolutely permanent on metal, plastic, glass, stone and wood and also work well for identifying tools, appliances and keys. Have FUN! DearWebby . Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the man left his baseball hat on the bench, but didn't miss it until they were back on the highway and the sun was glaring into his eyes. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The woman fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. She called him every bad name she could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and he got out of the car to retrieve his cap, the woman yelled to him, "And while you're in there, you might as well get my glasses too."

» Ugly






[ view entry ] ( 238 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 291 )
Story 


[ view entry ] ( 218 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 654 )
Adope Flash Player pause problem 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 21, 2011

What's the big rush about everybody ganging up on Gadafi?

I am by no means a fan of Gadafi, and think he should have been
dealt with after Lockerbie. But until this weekend everybody 
said, that an a..hole like him was necessary, to keep his 
barbarians under control. Now suddenly, there is a big panic.

Twenty Two countries are suddenly eager to test their new and 
old missiles. They seem to be extremely concerned that, if 
Gadaffi's opposition was given time to get organized, they 
would take over the world by Friday!

So the opposition now gets frantic support. News coverage
by The Enemy Times and The national Enquirer is twisted in 
their favor. It's quite OK that the heroic rebels in Benghazi
do a bit of looting and burning and atrocifying, after all,
they are opposing Gadafi and the brutal cops, that have the 
nerve to frown upon a bit of friendly looting.

To support the heroic rebels in Benghazi, Gadafi's sports car
museum in Tripoli was destroyed with a whole bunch of British 
cruise missiles. And Gadafi's phony cease fire was broken
by some heavy ship-to-shore artillery from a US war ship in
the Mediterranean. 

Somehow I have a hunch, that with THAT much incompetence 
on the lose, this is not going to be over soon.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience. --- Shelley Winters
During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?" "Yes, was the reply, "I once cured a millionaire of indigestion in just thirty three visits!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture of blue orchids: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Adam Yarbrough, 22, Indianapolis, Indiana Female Cop Rejects Moped Boy's Sex Bribe MARCH 14--When a female cop pulled him over last night for driving his moped erratically on an Indiana interstate, Adam Yarbrough allegedly sought to bribe the officer with $5, a kiss, and the promise of having sex with her. Somehow, Officer Christin Rudell turned down the three-pronged offer and instead busted Yarbrough, 22, for felony bribery, according to an Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department report. Yarbrough is pictured in the mug shot at right. Yarbrough was pulled over at 11:45 last night after Rudell spotted him “swerving in his lane” on his green moped. After Rudell, 31, ticketed him for several vehicular infractions, Yarbrough said, "How about we call it even and I give you five dollars and you just get rid of this ticket and let me go?" Though Rudell explained that “there would be no exchange and that he needed to take the citation,” Yarbrough persisted. This time, according to the report, Yarbrough said, “OK if you won't take the money how about I give you a kiss? And well I haven't had sex in a while so how about we do that?" Rudell then arrested Yarbrough for bribery. Yarbrough “continued to make sexually explicit remarks” and yell profanities, Rudell noted, adding that she asked him several times to lower his voice. When he refused to comply, the cop “added disorderly conduct to his charges. Yarbrough is being held in lieu of $120,000 bond at the Marion County jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rita Re: Flash Player Problems Dear Webby Most radio stations seem to be using the Adobe Flash player. Which browser / player combination causes the fewest lock-ups? Thanks Rita Dear Rita Try the newest FireFox and the newest Adope Flash Player. Yes, it IS a tedious nuisance to install the flash player. They act, as if they had proof that YOU were going to take apart their code, fix it and compete against them. Just elbow your way through that nonsense and install it. The current version does not lock up, unless you pause the playing. Don't expect the pause bug to get fixed in the near future, just get used to hitting refresh and hunting for where you left off. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

Thnks to Rose for this: Thanks to Lily for this one: While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy bodice with matching robe. "No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never wear that!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Toiletries When Staying at Hotels We always save the soap, shampoos, toothpaste, and lotions we get at hotels when we stay in them. They come in handy when we run out of out regular soaps and things, especially when we can't make it to the store right away. Plus, they are perfect for traveling when you don't want to bring your bigger bottles. When company is staying over it is nice to give them their own bar of soap with their towels, too! By morbetomommy from Topeka, KS http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Bob and Bill were sitting in a bar, and Bob was looking really down in the dumps. "What's the matter?" Bill asked. "I don't' get it," Bob sighed. "The dating scene is so confusing. There are so many damn people you have to please. "Like this one woman, she liked me, her mom liked me, but her father hated me. "Then there was this other woman, both of her parents really liked me, but SHE didn't like me. "And then there was this woman I met last night. She absolutely loved me, her parents seemed to really like me too, BUT her husband couldn't stand me!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

» Global Travel Photos
(click on hide menu at bottom)





[ view entry ] ( 137 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 457 )
iPad help 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, March 20, 2011

Thank you John!




Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. --- Willis Player
One night a man - who was in no shape to drive - wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along the road, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And just who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. Once an hour the nurses walked the patient in the hall, a nurses aide on each side with his arms over their sholders. Behind them the floor nurse stomped along, gesticulating with all kinds of fearsome devices and explaining just what kind of enema he would need if he stopped walking. After a week, the patient was ready to go home. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation but that they had been lucky to get him to the hospital in time. "But doctor, you don't understand," his daughter said, "Dad hasn't walked in over five years!"
Thanks to Christine for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carolee Bildsten, 57, in Gurnee, Ill Sex toy attacker pleads guilty GURNEE, Ill. (UPI) -- An Illinois woman accused of striking a police officer with a sex toy pleaded guilty to drunken driving and theft charges. Carolee Bildsten, 57, was sentenced to six months of periodic imprisonment and 30 months of probation after pleading guilty Monday in a Lake County court to felony aggravated driving under the influence and a misdemeanor count of theft, the Waukegan News Sun reported Thursday. Prosecutors said Bildsten, who was pulled over and charged with driving under the influence Sept. 5, faced the theft charge due to a separate incident in which she left a Joe's Crab Shack restaurant without paying her bill. She was found by a Gurnee police officer and given a ride home, where she claimed to have money for the restaurant bill, and upon arriving attacked the officer with "a clear, rigid, feminine pleasure device," a police report said. Bildsten had faced an assault charge stemming from the incident but the charge was dropped in exchange for her guilty plea.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Donovan Re: Pictures on iPad Dear Webby Good to have you back. I'm glad you're feeling better. Regarding the iPad, if Wayne calls 1-800-MY-APPLE, there's free tech support for the first three (?) months. Regards Donovan Dear Donovan Thanks for your tip! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

At a diner, I was standing in line to pay my bill behind two women who handed the young waitress a credit card. After swiping the card, she loudly called out to her manager, "Mr. Allen, what do I do if it says 'reject'?" As the women's faces reddened and customers turned to look, Mr. Allen, also the cook, calmly walked out from the kitchen. "Well," he answered, the first thing you do is shout it out loud enough to embarrass the customer, who might have been thinking about leaving a tip for the cook. Next you go check and see if McDonalds will take you back."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com A Drinking Straw for Dust Bunnies When those dust bunnies got away from me under my refrigerator I could never get to them back behind the grates. Well no more, I taped about one inch of a large drinking straw to the inside of the long slender attachment for my vacuum leaving the rest of the straw sticking out. I used masking tape making sure to cover the hole while securing the straw. After taking off the cover at the front bottom of the refrigerator I can now reach them. The little buggers can no longer stay safe back behind the grates as I can reach them with the flexible straw. By latrtatr from Loup City, NE http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses. "Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?" "Fishin', sir." "Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?" The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine cigar. His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today ?" The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After a lengthy conference with the estranged husband, the lawyer reported to his client: "Jill, I have succeeded in making a settlement with your husband that is eminently fair to both of you." "Fair to both!?!" exploded Jill. "I could have done that myself. Why do you think I hired a lawyer?"

» Big Rock Candy Mountain






[ view entry ] ( 200 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 314 )
Pictures onto an iPad? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 18, 2011

Thanks Carolyn!
Thanks Catherine!
Thanks Mary! Lilacs Forever!


McAfee has detected a surge of scammers using the 
tragedy in Japan to try conning people into sending 
money to them. Use extreme caution!
Some scammers are renting ad space on legitimate
sites, so don't be foled by where you see tose ads.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God. --- Heywood Broun In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right. --- Ellen Goodman Nowadays, getting it LEFT and getting noticed by the Enemy Times seems to be all that counts in journalism. --- Socratex And Walter, the Stonecarver sent this one: The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine. --- Abraham Lincoln
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, little Sally spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Katherine Morse, 49, in Westminster, Colorado Drunk driver approached police to complain WESTMINSTER, Colo. (UPI) -- Police in Colorado said a woman was arrested for drunken driving when she approached police at a crash site to complain about their parking. Westminster police said the incident began at 5:17 p.m. MDT Sunday while they were attempting to coax a drunk driver involved in a collision to exit his vehicle, KMGH-TV, Denver, reported Wednesday. "The first drunk was actually in his car and he wouldn't put it in park and the car was running," police investigator Trevor Materasso said. "So, the officers were on the passenger side of the car trying to get it safe, so that he couldn't drive away and hit somebody else." Materasso said an officer climbed into the man's passenger seat and turned off his car's engine. He said another motorist then got out of her car and approached the man's vehicle. "The officers are saying, 'Ma'am, you need to go back to your car.' And she gets belligerent with them, telling them it was a stupid place to do a traffic stop," he said. "And it turns out she too was drunk. "I wish every drunk would seek us out. It would be great," Materasso said. Katherine Morse, 49, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving and obstructing police.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wayne Re: Picture on iPad Ok. Here's a question. How do I put one of your pictures on my iPad? Sent from my iPad Dear Wayne I have never had an iPad in my hand and haven't got a clue. You will have to ask somebody, who has one and who has access to the user manual. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

Maxine reported for her final examination which consisted of Yes / No answers. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for heads and "N" for tails. Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period, Maxine frantically started flipping the coin again. The moderator, concerned about what she was doing, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok. "Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago--but," explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I'm going back thru and checking my answers!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com A Drinking Straw for Dust Bunnies When those dust bunnies got away from me under my refrigerator I could never get to them back behind the grates. Well no more, I taped about one inch of a large drinking straw to the inside of the long slender attachment for my vacuum leaving the rest of the straw sticking out. I used masking tape making sure to cover the hole while securing the straw. After taking off the cover at the front bottom of the refrigerator I can now reach them. The little buggers can no longer stay safe back behind the grates as I can reach them with the flexible straw. By latrtatr from Loup City, NE http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately she began flirting at him and and flattering him outrageously. Naturally he liked the young ladys attention, but he was taken a bit aback by her fast and ardent pitch. He was utterly amazed when after 30 minutes she seriously proposed marriage. "Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young lady declared. "For the past 5 years your paycheck has been automatically deposited to the bank where I work. Just because you prefer to use the ATM machine outside, that doesn't mean I don't know all about you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A doctor sees an old man merrily walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm and recognizes him as one of his clients whom he had not seen in quite a few years. Half a year later he sees the old man and his young companion at the bank in line ahead of him. The doctor says, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." "I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart murmur, be careful..." "Too late!", the woman replied, "we like the other version better and got married 3 years ago!"

» Big Rock Candy Mountain






[ view entry ] ( 205 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1364 )
Stimulus Story 

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower. The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town prostitute that in these hard times, gave her services on credit. The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there. The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism….

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States does business.

At least the hooker and the hogs made out okay.



[ view entry ] ( 224 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 725 )


Home again! 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 18, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


I am home again!

According to the doctors, 
I am not supposed to drive for a month,
exert myself for two months, 
go to work for three months,
smoke for 30 years.
Easy for them!

Well, I found out what the problem with my feet is.
They  had swelled up and gotten so painful in the hospital, 
that I could barely shuffle along slowly.
After I spotted blood on the hospital floor, I took a closer 
look at my feet. Deep cracks from the excessively dry air.
None of the nurses, to whom I had complained about painful
feet, had said anything. They were probably scared, that
somebody might ask them to sand those callouses down.

Well, I am going for a soak in the tub now, and then sand down 
the callouses, so that the skin can heal together again. 

My biggest problem, though, is sleeping. 
When connected to oxygen at the hospital, I can sleep OK.
Withou that, I wake up with a panicky feeling 2-3 minutes after 
falling asleep. Not restful at all!
Having somebody toss a boot at me, when I stop breathing,
would be a fantastic improvement!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. --- Pat Paulsen Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too. --- Richard M. Nixon
A russian wife shouts at her husband: " Drunkard! I can`t stand it any longer! Why are you constantly drinking vodka?" He replied: "I drink it becausche itsch liquid. If it wasch scholid, I`d chew it."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom have one," the other replied. "What's it for?" "It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered. "Every time mom stands on hers she gets really mad."
Rhanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Monroe LeBeau, 28, in Morris Lake, GA Doper abandons son A man pulled over for speeding in Milton ran from police, leaving his crying 6-year-old son, seven pounds of marijuana and $80,000 in vacuum-sealed packages in his Dodge Charger, police said. The suspect, Monroe LeBeau, 28, then tried unsuccessfully to carjack two residents of the Morris Lake subdivision, police said. Officers used tracking dogs to catch LeBeau in the subdivision. He was bitten twice by a K-9 unit but declined medical attention. The wild incident began Tuesday night on Deerfield Parkway when an officer clocked LeBeau driving 49 miles per hour, 14 over the speed limit. The officer "could smell a strong odor of marijuana coming from inside the vehicle," the police report states, and asked LeBeau to step to the back of the car while it was searched. That's when LeBeau took off down Morris Road toward Morris Lake, the report says. "When Mr. LeBeau ran from his vehicle towards Morris Lake, he left his six-year-old son in the back seat of the car unattended," the report states. "The child was not wearing a seatbelt and the door to the vehicle was left open toward traffic. The child was visibly upset and crying." LeBeau, of Norcross, also left behind a backpack containing several vacuum-sealed bags of marijuana, another backpack with loose bags of marijuana and a third bag with two vacuum-sealed packages, police said. Those packages each held $40,000 in cash, a Dodge Charger vehicle guide and a Marijuana Grower's Bible, according to the report. LeBeau was charged with obstruction, two counts of attempted robbery, reckless conduct, possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, seatbelt violation, speeding and failure to maintain lane. LeBeau was booked into the Fulton County Jail, and his son was placed with a relative, AM 750 and now 95.5 FM News/Talk WSB reported.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: nobody Re: no question today Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

A very attractive lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Your Butter Wrappers I save my empty butter stick wrappers in a zip lock bag in the freezer. They usually have just enough butter on them to grease a cake pan with. After they are used, I move them to another ziplock baggie marked with a large x and refreeze to keep them critter free. They make great fire starters for the fireplace or lighting the trash. Cheap, but it works! By mom-from-missouri from MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Fisherman: "Hey, pal! You've been standing there watching me fish for three hours! Why don't you get a rod and reel and do some fishing yourself?" Onlooker: "No, thanks. I don't have the patience for it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Before our daughter went off to college, our family took a vacation in Colorado. So we flew to Denver and rented a car. We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, I noticed it swaying in the wind. Then a car went past us, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath my feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," I finally said. "What are you worried about?" our daughter replied. "It's a rental."

» Solid Rock Stars






[ view entry ] ( 212 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 374 )
Thanks! 


[ view entry ] ( 195 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 501 )
Happy St Patrick's Day! 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's  Thursday, March 17, 2011
Happy St Patrick's Day!

They moved me into a room today, with huge store front type windows,
looking South over the reservoir and towards the mountains.
Once the blizzards stop, I am going to wish I had a camera here!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Lead me not into temptation. Just tell me where it is; I'll find it! --- Cookie
Thanks to Roland for this story: Didja hear about the hillbilly whose wife was an amputee? He figgered the "reckoned ammendment" of the constitution gar'n'teed him the privilege to purchase newlimbs for her. "Sez right heer, ah have the right to buy 'er arms." The hillbilly didn't exactly get it right. What he could do was have arms transplanted from a grizzly because ... she had the right to bear arms. And she could show them to anyone she pleased because ... she had the right to bare arms.
"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
Two English ladies were discussing their vacation plans on a London bus near an Irish nun. "We're planning a lovely holiday in Devon this year," said one. "Oh you oughtn't to do that," said the other, "there are Irish there! It would be awful." "Dear me!" said the first lady. "well where are you going?" "Salisbury," she replied. "But Salisbury is simply crawling with Irish!" the first lady objected. At this point the Irish nun could no longer hold her tounge. "Why don't ye go t' hell," she suggested. "There be no Irish there!"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nathan Wayne Pugh, 49, of Sachse, Texas. Bank robber shows 2 setsof ID DALLAS -- A hapless bank robber who abided by a Dallas teller's request to provide two forms of identification before she could give him money is going to prison. A judge sentenced 49-year-old Nathan Wayne Pugh of Sachse to more than eight years on Tuesday, to be served concurrently with the 25 years he got for defaulting on 2 previous suspended sentences. He will probably not commit any morebank robberies for five years. While robbing a Wells Fargo Bank on July 26, Pugh gave the teller a note saying a “bom” was inside a paper bag he was carrying and ordered her to put money in an envelope. The newly-hired teller remained calm and asked Pugh to show her two IDs before she could give him the money. The absent minded robber complied and showed her his Wells Fargo debit card and a Texas state ID card. The teller had pressed the silent alarm at her teller station before giving Pugh $900, the only money in her cash drawer. Pugh took the money and proceeded to leave the bank when arriving police prompted him to take a customer hostage. However, that customer refused to participate and fought off Pugh, causing him to fall down hard. Police sat on him, and once they stopped laughing, arrested him.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: How to copy pictures from Newsletters Dear Webby I would like to copy some of the cool pictures you put in your Humor Letter but can't figure out how to print just the picture, without the rest of the letter. When I right click I get a box with "copy" in it but it don't work. Can you help? tx. Ron Dear Ron If you use "COPY", then you have to immediately jump to your paint program or word processor and click on "PASTE". The "COPY" command only copies it into the temporary clipboard. Instead of "COPY", you can select "SAVE AS", then tell it the file name and folder that you want. Have Fun! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
"I presume, Mrs Murphy, you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" "Indeed I do, sir, it's a lock of my Dan's hair." "But your husband is still alive." "That he is," said she "but his hair is long gone!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cereal Box Liner for Child's Craft Surface I use the cereal box liners as a protective surface when children are painting or gluing. Open the bag up on the seam so that you have a good size surface. Happy crafting! By Cher from ME http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got Riley down and was hammering him unmercifully when Riley called out several times, "Enough!" As Casey paid no attention, but kept on administering punishment, a bystander said, "Why don't you let him up? Don't you hear him say that he's had enough?" "I do," says Casey, "but he's such a liar, you can't believe him."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Robby is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party."
And here is the "Specimen" joke so many of you ask for every St Patrick's Day. It's a classic Irish joke that may dent some people's halo, so if you are sensitive to rough language, skip this one. Maureen was feeling a bit ill, and not recovering from a night out anywhere near as fast as Paddy. So he sent her off to the doctor. She came back shortly with a puzzled frown and said: "Oh, Paddy, he wants a "Specimen", but fo the life o me I don't know if we have one or if we can affod t'buy one!" Paddy hemmed and hawed for a while, but couldn't figure it out either. So he finally suggested: "me lass, why don't you go upstairs and ask Maud O'Reilly, she used to work the streets in town and she'll know." So Maureen climbed up the stairs and knocked. Not a minute later, screaming and cussing and the noise of a ferocious fight echoed down the stairwell, soon followed by much banging and clatter as poor Maureen came tumbling down the stairs. As Paddy helped her up he asked her what happend. "Oh Paddy, she's so mean! All I did was ask her what a 'specimen' was, and she told me to 'piss in abottle'! So of course I told her to shit in a hat, and the fight was on."

» Finding a Shamrock





[ view entry ] ( 215 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 272 )
How safe are online reservations? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The hoped for early release did not happen. Somehow, there was
a relapse and the lungs seemed to fill up with liquid again. 
That is not a confidence inspiring or cheerful feeling at all.
I wasn't continuously gasing for breath, but often enough, that I could
not relax. That made for a two hour night last night, no sleep at
all since then.

Since I was sitting up and working on my latop, they 
commandeered my bed for somebody, who needs a bed, 
and moved me to the TV lounge. It is going to be a long 
night.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends." --- Alphonse de Lamartine
Thanks to Carl for this story: A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
This drunk is sitting in a bar and asks the bartender where the bathroom is. The bartender said, go down the hall & make a right. Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hears this loud scream and wonders what is going on in the bathroom. A few minutes go by again and everybody at the bar hears another loud scream that came out of the bathroom again. This time the bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. He stops at the door and askes the drunk, "What's all the screaming about in there? You are scaring all my customers away." The drunk replies, "I'm sitting on the can and every time I go to flush it, something icey cold comes up and squeezes me where it hurts!" With that, the bartender opens up the door and looks in and says, "Try sitting on the toilet instead of,the mop bucket!"
Thanks to Guinn for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Trias, 20, in Mesa, AZ Man's burglary plans hampered after he gets tangled in laundry hamper A bungling would-be burglar was stopped from carrying out his crime...by a laundry hamper. Michael Trias, 20, was in custody tonight after allegedly jumping through the bathroom window of an apartment in Mesa, Arizona. He fell from the window straight into the clothes basket that was directly underneath. Trias became tangled up in the basket, made from PVC and netting, and had to be helped by the owner of the house, who then escorted him outside to wait for police. The 45-year-old man was in the bathroom of his apartment when he heard a noise coming from his bedroom, Mesa police detective, Mike Melendez, told the Phoenix New Times. The man went to the bedroom with a broom as his defence, where he found Trias caught in the hamper. Authorities say no property was taken from the home, but there was some damage to the window.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fran Re: How reliable are on--line hotel bookings? Dear Webby How reliable is it to make hotel reservations over the net? I am planning a trip with the whole family and don't want to risk any nast last minute surprises. Fran Dear Fran I have not done it any other way in at least 15 years and never had a problem. I print out the order, confirmation, and road map to get from the freeway to the hotel of the day. If I am delayed and find that I may be very late getting to a hotel the next day, I email them and tell them not to expect me before for example 10 PM. You could never do that if you were just gambling on finding a motel with vacancies. Then you would have to be there by late afternoon and miss the best traveling time of the day. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
"Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "You've got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed when all of a sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes." The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?" "I push them away!" "I see. And what can I do to help you with this?" The patient implored, "Please,Doc... Break my arms!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Coffee My daughter taught me this tip about saving money on coffee costs. She worked in a fancy coffee shop and they taught her tons about coffee, even though she is not a coffee drinker. Grind your coffee very fine (espresso grind) and it will go much further. Only use half your normal amount of scoops to get the same or even darker pot of coffee. You may need to use a double filter in your drip coffee maker so no grounds get through. We have been doing this for awhile now and are very pleased with the results. And, our coffee costs are going down so we are even able to purchase socially responsible coffee also. By Suzanne from Bainbridge Island WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ One of the big "No-Name-Brand" chains, the one that uses "President's Choice" as a cover for some of their experimental marketing, many years ago came out with a "President's Choice-Extra Fine Grind" coffee. They didn't claim any specific origin or roast, just that it was extra fine and a blend. Yeah, right. Accidentally ground too fine for percolators and re-usable filters. May be 127 different blends. And it was VERY cheap. They considered it "reject", and did not know the value of it. Knowing the trick Suzanne writes about, I cleaned them out, and firmly made that experiment a permanent feature. That was about a dozen years ago a dozen years ago. In the meantime, due to increasing demand, the price of the "reject" coffee crept up to higher than big name brand regular grind, but it was still a very good deal. A 12 cup pot requires 6 heaping teaspoons for good, strong coffee, or 4 - 5 for all day sipping coffee. To get anywhere near the same flavor with Maxwell House, it takes 16 teaspoons. Eventually somebody clued in the manager there and told her that it was not appropriate for a No-Name-Brand store to use hard pricing according to demand, but that they should aim for a reputation of a fair, but not excessive mark-up. Since then the price was reasonable again. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Keep in mind that in Australia this is the hot season. The weather was very hot, so this preacher wanted desperately to take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn't bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone. So, he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket, which lay on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of his private parts and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds." "Impossible," said the embarrassed preacher, "You really know what I'm thinking?" "Yes," the lady replied, "I know that you think that the bucket you're holding in front of you, has a bottom in it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting. When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!" "Something that THEY would not do.....", the husband mused, "I suppose, we could clean the house."

» Cuddly Critters





[ view entry ] ( 128 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 410 )
History repeating itself with W7 ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Thank you, Carl!

Got moved out of the Intensive Care Cardiac section up to Tower 71
or Area 71. Even though I told her, that I could walk, a cute nurse
insisted, that I sit into a wheel chair. Am I THAT much easier to €
chase when I am sitting down ?

Then they piled stuff on me. 
First my laptop, then my laptop case, then four thick binders with my
name on them, then a bag with my clothes and sneakers, then an
armload of cables and monitoring stuff, an oxygen bottle, and as 
I was glancing aound for partridges and pear trees, she tucked a
mobile monitor under my nose. My job was not to enjoy the ride,
but to keep all the stuff from clattering down!

Must have looked hilarious! A big pile of mysterious stuff, with 
my nose and top of the head looking out over top of it,
hair blowing in the breeze, - yeah, it needs to be trimmed again-,
pushed by a grinning nurse, who is trying to scare me with 
power-drifts and 180-Escapes backwards into elevators.
We had a HOOT! She knew that route well and seemed to really 
thrive on encouragement.

Eventually we wound up in the right tower at the right level.
After she unloaded all the stuff off me, she started pulling cables
off me. Different set-up. I got my own roaming transceiver, and the
EKG and whatever leads just went to the transceiver in a pocket
in my goofy gown, sort of like a futuristic probation anklet that
transmits a live ElectroKardioGram.

The new location has a WINDOW! Looks NorthWest, away from the 
mountains, but there is sunshine and scenerey out there!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Economists are probably the one group who make astrologers look like professionals when it comes to telling the future. --- Socratex If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. ---- Socratex
A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o'clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again. He didn't arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, "What took ya so long? You're over two hours late." "Hey ! Give me a break." whined the Yuppie. "I have a 27 handicap!"
A question had appeared in a students' medical examination which read: "List four benefits of breast milk." A student began to answer the question: 1. No need to bottle it. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. But the fourth point eluded him. When there were barely a couple of minutes before the exam ended, the fourth point flashed to his mind. So he completed the answer by writing: 4. Available in attractive containers.
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Ouellette, 20, in Port Orange, Florida Motorcyclist caught trying to bribe a cop A motorcyclist was arrested in the Port Orange area early Saturday after he tried to bribe his way out of a speeding ticket, the Volusia County Sheriff's Office said. According to sheriff's spokesman Gary Davidson, a deputy spotted 20-year-old Andrew Ouellette traveling 67 mph in a 50 mph zone on Nova Road about 3:30 a.m. Saturday. The deputy pulled Ouellette over near the intersection of Herbert Street and Old Hammock Road. According to the Sherriff's Office, Ouellette told the deputy he had been ticketed several times recently and "couldn't afford another one," asking if there was anything he could do to avoid being cited. Davidson said Ouellette then pulled a roll of cash from his pocket and asked the deputy, "Are you sure we can't do anything?" When the deputy handcuffed him, Ouellette insisted his comment was not meant to be taken as a bribe, Davidson said. "However, he also couldn't provide another explanation for the meaning of his comment."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Andy Re: Why not just get used to W7 ? Dear Webby I admit that my W7 computer is my first and only one. Sure, it IS frustrating, but that's the current Operating System, and all your complaining is not going to change it. Sooner or later you WILL have to get used to W7. Andy Dear Andy No, I won't. People told me exactly the same BS while VISTA was the "current" Operating System. Well, guess what? VISTA is on the same shelf as DOS-4, the FORD Edsel and a few similarly unpopular ideas. And like a lot of Industry and Commerce, I am still using XP. If the day ever comes, when I can't use XP, I will simply switch to Linux, or possibly MAC. I really don't care about the name of the Operating system, as long as it works reliably and predictably and fast. If Windows 9 is good enough, I'll gladly use it. But I am not going to slow down to W7 speed. It is actually not so much the computing speed of the Operating System, but the countless klutzy ways that W7 has, to make routine work take longer. Since you CAN pay a $70 penalty for W7-Plus (with XP factory installed), so that Microsoft can brag about "One more W7 sold!", it's not really a problem. The penalty is annoying, but not nearly as annoying as W7. By mid 2012 there will be enough Third Party utilities to smooth W7 enough to make it competitive. Rememeber, XP and XP-SP1 were not really that hot either, and a lot of Industry and Commerce hung on to Windows 98 until XP-SP2. Then we switched like a land slide. History might well repeat itself. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "It's so bad in our church now on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pouring Ketchup Faster When you have a sluggish ketchup bottle, push a drinking straw to the bottom and then remove it. This will allow enough air to start the the ketchup flowing. By Sandy from Graettinger IA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car; both ladies could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was again red, and again they went right through. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention at the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through. At this point she turned to her friend and said, "Mildred! Do you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could get killed us!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Holy Moly! Am I driving?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?" To which Jack replied, "The holes are numbered!"

» Wilderness Astronomky





[ view entry ] ( 266 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 1610 )
Ground Zero 

Ground Zero II

Have you ever wondered what would happen if a nuclear bomb goes off in your city?
With Google's Maps framework and a bit of Javascript, you can see the outcome.
And it doesn't look good.




[ view entry ] ( 210 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1700 )


W7 Laptop gift or scam 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Monday, March 14, 2011

Thanks Guinn !
Thanks Bill !

Thank you also for the many get well cards and letters and prayers! 

Yes, I did stop smoking. 
The diet here is not helping any, but so far I am smoke free 
for ten days.

Today I am supposed to be able to see sunshine again.
Cardiac Intensive Care is pretty well in the center of RockyView
hospital, a quarter mile straight into the building from one of 
the ambulance ports. 

That deep into the building everything is totally quiet, absolutely
no indication  of a bustling city around it. 

Right now there are just four nurses in this unit, quietly working at
their computers, updating the data on their patients and listening
for beeps and squawks on the monitors. At this time of
night it is fairly quiet, but during daytime, when patients 
are more active, there is sometimes quite a racket going on.

Each event has a different tone. They can tell from the sound
alone, before even glancing at their copy of a room monitor,
whether the problem is a loose EKG wire, somebody's pulse or
blood oxygen too high or too low, or some printer out of paper,
or any of the things they watch. Quite an impressive set-up.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. --- Doug Larson Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. --- Christopher Hampton
If garbage workers in your community ever go out on strike, you might like to know how a wise New Yorker dispoed of his refuse for several days when sanitation workers were on strike. Each day he wrapped his garbage in gift paper. Then he put it in a shopping bag. When he parked his car, he left the bag on the front seat with the window open. When he got back to the car, the garbage had always been collected. --------------- That trick works for old monitors too, but I prefer to put them into the bed of a pick-up truck. Never had to haul one to the dump yet!
Martin was known among his friends for the punctuality with which he sent his wife her alimony payment each month. When asked the reason for his haste, he shivered and explained: "I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in my payments, she might decide to repossess me."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tina Belinda Masta, 46,in Naples, Florida Naked Naples woman arrested after throwing stones, teeth NAPLES — An intoxicated naked Naples woman threw stones at people and her teeth into a canal Saturday night, Collier County sheriff’s deputies reported. Deputies responded to a call of a woman who was drunk, naked, throwing rocks at people and calling them names in the Bayshore area of Naples at about 8 p.m. Saturday. When they arrived on Mango Drive, deputies found Tina Belinda Masta, 46, sitting on the dock near her home with a blanket wrapped around her. Masta then turned toward the deputies, took off her blanket and exposed herself to them, according to reports. She had taken some of her teeth out and threw them into the canal, she told deputies. Masta “kept picking at her teeth and asked to use some pliers,” deputies said. After Masta was arrested, a neighbor brought some of her clothes to the patrol car, deputies said. The male deputy helped dress Masta the best he could, according to reports. Witnesses said Masta cursed at three men, threw rocks at the men, pulled her clothes off and threatened to beat them up. Masta then tried to break a light and wooden fence, the witnesses told deputies. Deputies said Masta smelled of alcohol.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Irene Re: W7 Laptop gift or insult? Dear Webby I received an almost brand new W7 laptop from my EX-MIL. Personally, I don't like it at all. It is slow, klutzy, awkward, unpredictable, and without an external mouse, totally unusable. That idiotic touch pad is insane! And now she is hinting, that since she had bought me the Newest and Bestest, it would be appropriate, if I gave my old XP desktop to her. What would you suggest? Thanks Irene Dear Irene I probably should not answer that question while sitting on an uncomfortable Hospital chair in front of a very similar W7 lemon. When dealing with a crooked manipulator, you can't always remain on friendly terms. I would probably tell her where to stuff the lemon, and offer to assist. If you want to be diplomatic about it, tell her that, unfortunately, JUST LIKE HER, you can't use the W7 machine either, and she should try to get her money back from whoever conned her into it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them. Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. That's my ad."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Set Up a Week's Coffee on Sunday Night Save time by setting your weekly morning coffee up Sunday night. Just fill up seven coffee filters with your favorite grounds. Then stack the coffee filters on top of each other and place them inside an empty coffee can with a sealable lid. In the morning, just pull out a pre-filled filter, add water to your pot and serve to taste. By Florida Gal from Spring Hill, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A golfer's drive lands on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decides to hit it where it lies. He gives a mighty swing. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants explodes from the end of his club, but the golf ball remains in the same spot. So he lines up and tries another shot. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants goes flying again. The golf ball doesn't even wiggle. Two ants survive. One dazed ant says to the other, "Whoa. What are we going to do?" Says the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Sherry and Barbie got together on a regular basis, and they usually discussed families or local gossip. One day they decided to change things a bit, and discuss important political issues; the Middle East, Afghanistan, North Korea, etc. Barbie said, "But what about Red China?" Sherry responded, "Fantastic... it looks especially good on a white tablecloth!"

» Digesting Proteins and Starches





[ view entry ] ( 1 view )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 466 )
Gratification 


[ view entry ] ( 219 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 407 )
Back again! 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's  Sunday, March 12, 2011

I sure am glad to be almost back!
What happened?

First I had a weird flu, that hid a small heart attack.
Minor nuisance, I thought.. I'll burn that off in no time flat.
A few drops of Hydrogen Peroxide into each ear, and a very brisk
2 mile walk in the fresh snow on Feb 19, and half a day later, 
the flu was gone.

Strangely, a heavyness in the chest area remained, and a 
shortness of breath.

So, on February 26 I went for another one of those brisk two
Mile walks. Almost didn't make it back home due to serious
shortage of oxygen. Not a breathing obstruction, but similar
to climbing at very high altitude. The air was there, plenty
of it, but I just could not extract enough Oxygen from it.

Mentioned that to a friend, she chased an ambulance after me,
and when I did not go with it, argued me into going to the 
hospital the next morning.

The doctor there told me, after a whole battery of tests, 
including X-Rays, that I had COPD, pneumonia and emphysema.
Well, I was in rough shape, believed it, and went to Costco
to get $97.50 worth of pills.

Wednesday, March 2, I was feeling a bit better and went to see 
my regular doctor. Next morning I  drove to the bank to get
money for more prescriptin pills. Almost passed out at the
bank counter, went back outside for a puff of Apo Salvent,
went back in, scooped up my money, which the teller had ready 
by then. No questions asked, "Just don't die at THIS counter!"

Made it outside, to the car and opened the door. Sat on the seat,
with the feet outside, and gasped for breath, about two gasps
per second of crisp, clear, -22 morning air. While doing that, I had the
ridiculous thought that I was wrecking my voice for good and would 
never be able to sing again. Not that I ever wanted to, that is why it
was so ridiculous.

In the meantime I was beating my chest like a demented gorilla
to pump some blood up to the empty spaces between my ears.

Finally some bank customer called 911, eventually the ambulance
got there, put me on oxygen and calmed things down.

They hauled me to a hospital in Calgary, 60 miles away.
Another big series of tests, again including X-Rays.
And another expensive prescription for COPD, pneumonia and 
emphysema.

Next morning Barb's hubby Richard brought me to our little
local country hospital. After getting chewed out by former
drill sergeant Pat about my smoking habit, same range of
tests again. 16 vials of blood and two big X-Rays.

That doctor, who is a bit older than me, a REAL rarity, because
most seem to die off a couple of years after yelling at me for
smoking, told me: "Don't worry about COPD. You don't have it.
You had a heart attack, actually a bunch of them. We can fix that."

First he injected me with some drugs that drained the stuff
from the lungs and converted it to urine. By the time I had
filled about 5 Liter jugs, the ambulance was there, and took me
to Rockyview in Calgary again. 

Different entrance and staff, and a mobile digital X-Ray machine. 
The tech put a 2 foot by 2 foot tablet on a cord behind my back, 
focused the lights on my chest, grabbed a heavy lead apron,
ran 40 feet down the hall, held up the apron in front of her,
yelled "Deep Breath!", ducked behind a concrete pillar and hit the
remote control switch.

I never even had to get up from the stretcher! She pulled the
tablet from behind my back with it's power cord, and trundled
her baby elephant off down the hall. The picture had
already been transmitted to the Cardiac department.

Shortly afterward a genial specialist with a cute resident intern
in tow showed up from the opposite direction.

"Yep, you had some massive heart attacks. We'll put you into 
Cardiac Intensive care, settle you down some and then on 
Monday get you an angiogram, so that we can see what kind of 
damage you did to your heart.

OK, so while waiting for that, I am connected to ten (10)EKG 
wires leading to a monitor,that is just visible by geting out 
of bed and peeking up into the top corner behind the bed. That
monitor is connected to some network. Then I am also hooked up 
to a bunch of inttavenous lines, probably to make sure I don't
sneak out for a smoke.

To increase the stress level to absolute max, the inmates, 
ahem patients are not allowed to use the Internet. As you can
imagine, that is NOT going over very well.

Since I get six very strong wireless signals, I asked to talk 
to somebody in IT and / or Security about a donut shop style 
hot-spot password. 

They sent some older "lady", who had absolutely NO clue 
about the internet, but some totally INSANE notions about 
how a donut shop style hot-spot would compromise privacy. 

I tried to 'splain, using simple and short words, that a bank 
of wireless routers on top of the parkade tower, not connected 
to the Hospital at all, but directly to the Internet, and 
sponsored by a local donut shop, is not only totally secure,
but could even raise money for the hospital. I can think of
quite a few businesses, who would be quite proud to advertise, 
that they sponsor the Hot-Spot at the RockyView Hospital.

March 12: revise that.
It just required a bit more begging and pleading from different sides, 
and tonight, Saturday,  March 12, I got a basic connection.
I can't answer email just yet, but think I can send this out
Yeeee Hawwww!

I am still connected to more cables than half a dozen office computers,
have no mouse and am pecking away at an awkward laptop keyboard
at chin level, will have to stay another day or two, and most likely be 
getting into a meaningful relationship with an oxygen tank, but I am 
communicating with you again! That's all that counts!

Btw., I experienced a sudden and drastic change in my vision.
By pushing my glasses to the tip of my nose and leaning 10" 
further than I am used to, the screen is sharp again. Do any of you 
know, if that is due to the heart attack, or the sudden stopping
of smoking, and if the change is permanent? 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire crew stood at attention. "I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship." "Yes, of course," was the captain's unexpected reply. "Aha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of the third man from the left there in the rear rank?" "William Jones," said the captain. The Secretary addressed the seaman himself. "What's your name, lad?" he asked. "William Jones, SIR!" replied Seaman Dale Abernathy, "but you can call me Bubba."
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir', it's real simple: If the hatch or a door drips, don't open it."
How often have we heard that television watching can be detrimental? Pastor Bob carried that message one Sunday morning in an impassioned sermon on the evils of TV. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other, more worthwhile things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife muttered to the woman next to her, "but it gets awfully crowded in there, when Bob is out of town and his two brothers come over!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Lewis Ludwig, 54, of Okemos, Mich. Michigan Dentist caught usinf Veteran's creedit card A Michigan dentist in town for his son's baseball game was arrested late Saturday on credit-card theft and forgery charges after Polk County deputy sheriffs said he stole a college student's credit card and used it to buy pizza. Richard Lewis Ludwig, 54, of Okemos, Mich., also faces charges of impersonating and attempting to use the ID of another person without consent. The Polk County Sheriff's Office gave this account: The victim, Harrun Majeed of Davenport, accidentally dropped his credit card in the parking lot of a Publix at 2424 Sand Mine Road in Davenport on Saturday evening. Majeed, a military veteran studying at a community college, realized the card was gone when he got home and called to cancel it. While on the phone with the credit-card company, a representative told Majeed someone had used the card to make a purchase at Mia Pizza Pasta Kitchen, in the same plaza as the Publix where Majeed lost his card. Majeed immediately called the Polk County Sheriff's Office. Polk County deputy sheriffs arrested Ludwig after finding him at the restaurant waiting for his order. They said Ludwig admitted to finding Majeed's credit card in the parking lot, ordering two large pizzas with extra olives and using Majeed's card to pay the $40.64 bill. Ludwig had $250 in cash in his wallet at the time of his arrest, deputies said. When asked if he was having financial problems, the sheriff's office said, Ludwig laughed and said "absolutely not." He told deputies his net worth was between $3 million and $4 million. Ludwig told deputies he was visiting Polk County because his son is playing in a baseball tournament in Winter Haven.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Vern Re: Safe way to write Dear Webby Is there a way to write to old customers to tell them about a new catalog in a way that they don't put us on their mail-washer and filter us into the trash? Thanks Vern Dear Vern You probably toss mails into the trash, if they are obviously reminders about program updates, and figure, that other people do the same, when YOU try to remind them. Make it less obvious! Just send them a nice postcard, without even mentioning your product. If they like your product, they will make the connection, and go check it out. It is also quite helpful to occasionally send related articles, but don't be a nuisance about it. Only do that, when you come across something, that is really relevant and will be appreciated, not the first silly forward you come across. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Bill's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. When they were over for a weekend visit, she came into the front room where my office is. I guess I stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing I remember saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Spaghetti to Test When Baking http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Heard on a United Express flight during the exit announcement: "Please remove all personal items from the aircraft. Any items left on board can be found at my yard sale next Sunday."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Consider the fellow who went to a new doctor for his annual physical. "You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78," the man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year-old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off, and I would go outside for a walk to settle down," the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life, and the food at the golf club is pretty decent."

» Graffitti Slide Show





[ view entry ] ( 248 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1628 )
Cheap Flights 



[ view entry ] ( 285 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.2 / 493 )


Lost 


[ view entry ] ( 258 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 456 )
Tough 


[ view entry ] ( 245 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 273 )
Stop 


[ view entry ] ( 235 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 274 )
Patriot Guard Riders 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 4, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The Patriot Guard Riders still provide some insulation around funerals. 
The state captains are listed here:
http://snipurl.com/pgr-state-captains

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. --- Gloria Borger
A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game. Then the father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence Day. The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, "PLAY BALL!!!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

The seven-year old girl told her mom, "A boy in my class asked me to play doctor after school." "Oh, dear," the mother nervously sighed. "What happened ?" "Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes while he was busy double-billing the insurance company. So his big brother and me played in the hay stack on the other side of the road until the schoolbus came ."
Thanks to Martin for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Nephew Greg has been working in Cambodia for several months now He's sent several pics, but this one 'caught my eye' because of the colors. Martin Water Festival, November 2010, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Jones, 45,in Sacramento, CA Store workers recognize stolen meat SACRAMENTO (UPI) -- Police in California said they arrested a man who allegedly tried to sell meat to employees of the store where the meat had been stolen. Sacramento police said the suspect, David Jones, 45, approached two people in a bar Sunday and tried to sell them meat stolen from the store where the two both work, The Sacramento Bee reported Tuesday. The employees, who the man apparently did not know were store workers, called police to the bar, department activity logs said. Jones was arrested and charged with possessing stolen property and a parole violation.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Re: Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "Hmmm, if you had done that too, I would be the son of the president and could have a lot faster computer!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Prescription Bottles for Storing Quarters I save pill and film containers to put quarters in - for laundry, toll booths, snack vending machines, car wash, vacuum coin slots, or anything else I need quarters for in a hurry. They fit easily in my purse or in my car cup holder and they don't take up too much room. By Angeltea9 from Pawtucket, RI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. "Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked. "Not very likely," his wife said. "It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!" The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.

» Sistine Chapel






[ view entry ] ( 101 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 224 )
Gift 


[ view entry ] ( 213 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 779 )
Problems opening PDF files with the browser 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 3, 2011

Supreme court rules in favor of Westboro Perverts

Have you ever read some news, that made you HOPPING MAD ?
It took me some time to calm down enough, so that I could write 
without using profanity. 

How can a country expect people to go risk and lose their lives,
but refuse to keep hate-mongering perverts away from their
funerals?

Good people go fight and die for their country, 
and at their funeral the hate-mongering perverts are allowed 
to trample the flag and hold big signs saying 
"Thank God for dead soldiers"

That just makes me BOIL!

Since the law does not protect the families of fallen heroes,
don't be surprised if something outside the law will step
in!

In the meantime, the Patriot Guard Riders still provide some
insulation around funerals. The state captains are listed here:
http://snipurl.com/pgr-state-captains

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. --- Thomas Jefferson People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought, which they seldom use. --- Soren Kierkegaard A thought is often original, though you have uttered it a hundred times. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

A college dean was berating a veteran economics professor for having used the same tests for the past 35 years. "Don't you realize, professor, that the students have been sharing these tests for decades and that all of your students know EXACTLY what's on the test before they sit for it?" "Doesn't matter," replied the professor. "It's Economics. Therefore the correct answers change every year."
Thanks to Ross for sending this picture, that he clipped from the Winnipeg Free Press: Click through the picture to the large version. A little buck, looking festive with a dusting of snow, decides to relax and enjoy the sunshine on the front step of a house in Pinawa, Manitoba.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Debra Oberlin, 48, in Gainesville, Florida Former President of Florida Chapter of MADD...Arrested for DUI A woman who was the former president of the Mothers Against Drunk Driving chapter in Gainesville has been arrested for drunk driving. Debra Oberlin, 48, was arrested around 1:00 a.m. February 18 after police say the car she was driving was swerving on Northwest 39th Street. According to the arrest report she was given two breathalyzer tests and measured .234 and .239. The limit in Florida is .08 She had been out to watch a friend play at an acoustic night and was giving somebody a lift home because she thought they were even drunker than she was. Blowing a .239 is not just a little drunk, a hair over the limit, either. That’s shit-faced drunk. The woman was lucky to find her own car after leaving the bar. But she was even more fortunate that she didn’t hurt or kill anybody on her little drunken excursion through the streets of Florida.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Robert Re: Can't open PDF with the browser Der Webby, I need your help. When I attempt to open a pdf file on a website, I get a message that the acrobat reader running cannot open a pdf in a web browser. I have removed Adobe Acrobat Reader from my computer and installed Foxit and that works fine except in this case. When I open a pdf in my email account, Foxit does the job.perfectly. What gives? Robert Dear Robert Open a File Explorer Tools FolderOptions File Types and make sure you got Foxit assigned to handle PDF files. That should do the trick Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

Thanks to Dianne for tis story: I was eating lunch today with my 10 year old grandson when his mom asked him "What is tomorrow?" He said "It's President's Day" She asked "What does that mean?" I was waiting for something profound... He said "President's Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment." I almost snorted my iced tea.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lengthen Jeans With Contrasting Fabric Parents of small girls, don't throw away those jeans because they're a little short yet still fit everywhere else! I used spare fabric to make a top (using one of her dresses for a pattern), and then sewed a cuff around the bottom of the pants to match. The pants were getting short but still fit her in the waist. For the cuffs, I cut a piece of elastic the size of the pant leg and then cut material double that so it would gather. I sewed a casing for the elastic and hemmed the bottom. Then I basted it to the pant leg so that when she does outgrow this I can take it off and still sell or give away the pants. This is definitely a way to make those clothes last longer! By Tonya from Louisville, TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b." "I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speech impediment," said the owner. "I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!" said the man. "OK. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them." said the owner. So the man went out and came back half an hour later. "H-here-sss your m-m-money." said the man. The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out. The man came back in two hours and said, "Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money." The owner said, "This is fantastic. You sold more Bibles in two and a half hours than anyone has sold in a week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the door?" "W-welllll," said the man, "I r-r-ring the d-door bell, a-a-and s-s-say 'H-Hel-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w- want t-t t-to b-b-b-buy thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m'me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and I put ALL my money into it, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."

» Soups and Stews






[ view entry ] ( 157 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 301 )
Shooting advice 

Never let someone or thing that threatens you get inside arms length and never say "I got a gun". If you feel you need to use deadly force for heavens sake let the "first sound they hear is the safety clicking off" and they shouldn't have time to hear anything after that if you are doing your job.

'The average response time of a 911 call is over 3 minutes....the response time of a .44 magnum is 1400 feet per second.'

Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is a drill instructor (Thunder Ranch is a firearms training facility in Arizona ). Here are a few of his observations on tactics, firearms, self-defense and life as we know it in the civilized world.

"The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win and cheat if necessary."

"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way.."

"Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets. You may get killed with your own gun, but he'll have to beat you to death with it, cause it's going to be empty."

"If you're not shooting', you should be loading'. If you're not loading', you should be moving', if you're not moving', someone's going to cut your head off and put it on a stick."

"When you reload in low light encounters, don't put your flashlight in your back pocket.. If you light yourself up, you'll look like an angel or the tooth fairy... and you're going to be one of 'em pretty soon."

"Do something. It may be wrong, but do something."

"Shoot what's available, as long as it's available, until something else becomes available."

"If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. That's ridiculous. If you have a gun, what in the hell do you have to be paranoid for?"

"Don't shoot fast, unless you also shoot good."

"You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will work, but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much the universal language."

"You have the rest of your life to solve your problems.. How long you live depends on how well you do it."

"You cannot save the planet but you may be able to save yourself and your family."

"Thunder Ranch will be here as long as you'll have us or until someone makes us go away, and either way, it will be exciting."

More Excellent Gun Wisdom.......

The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.'

6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle.'

8. Beware of the woman who only has one gun, because she probably knows how to use it very well.

'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

A people that values its privileges above its principles will soon lose both.

"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not..." - Thomas Jefferson.



[ view entry ] ( 210 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 499 )


Does PayPal keep any info on your computer? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Thanks Sheena!

A lot of readers wrote and reminded me, that in the US, Costco
sells prescription medication to anybody, not just members.
That is indeed good to know, and may well mean the difference
for some people, between being able to afford necessary 
medicine, or not.

Costco is also an excellent place for buying batteries, not just
because of the price, but because they have not been aging 
on a shelf for a year. They don't even put them on a shelf!

When I needed some in January, I asked where they were.
"AA ? Way down that aisle, see, they are just bringing in 
another pallet!"

You can't move fast in there. Too many people, and they use
oversize shopping carts.

As I came closer I saw most people grab one of the 40-packs 
and toss them into their cart. By the time I actually got there, 
the pallet stack was down more than a foot on one side, 
and they sure were ice cold! They had not started aging yet.

Yes, you CAN slow down or stop the aging of Alkaline batteries
by keeping them in the freezer. I just put them onto a shelf
under the BBQ out on the deck.

At the moment it is -22 out there. Plenty cold enough for
batteries. Just let them warm up for 5 minutes, and dry them
off before putting them into a mouse or camera, so that 
there wont be any condensation on them.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. --- Arthur C. Clarke If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. --- Bradley's Bromide It isn't what you know that counts, it's what you think of in time. ---Benjamin Franklin
3 Cajuns and 3 Texans are taking a train to attend a conference. At the station, each Texan buys a ticket, but they notice that only one Cajun buys a ticket. "Don't you-all need tickets?" they ask. "Mais Non," reply the Cajuns, "one is more dan enough, boo." Once they board the train, the Texans take their seats and notice that all 3 Cajuns cram themselves into a toilet. As the conductor passes through the car, he knocks on the toilet door and yells, "Tick-Eht, Please!" The door cracks ever so slightly, a hand passes out a ticket, and then the door quickly closes. "Ahhh... very clever" think the Texans. After the conference, the 3 Cajuns and the 3 Texans are again at the train station for the return trip. Since the Texans are now so 'money-wise', they smirk as they only purchase one ticket... but then they notice that the Cajuns don't buy a ticket at all. "How will you-all get back without even a single ticket?" they ask. "Mais, we don need dat, us on de back trip!" say the Cajuns. Once they board the train, the 3 Texans cram themselves into the largest toilet (naturally), and the 3 Cajuns ease into another toilet. As the train begins to move away from the station, one of the Cajuns leaves the toilet and knocks on the door of the Texans' toilet and yells, "Tick-Eht, Please!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

A college student with a young child was pleased when her daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at the University. The director of the day care gave the mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the center's high standards, the young mother asked about the curriculum. "Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh."
Click through the picture to the large version. I have not done that for way too long!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kris Richards, 30, Jason Beyor, 31, of St. Albans, Passengers smoked pot during DUI stop Two drunk passengers in a car stopped by police were caught smoking pot — less than 20 ft. from Vermont State Troopers — while waiting for a sober driver to pick them up, Vermont State Police said. One of those passengers, Kris Richards, 30, of St. Albans, told Troopers that it was probably a "dumb idea" to be smoking marijuana while at a DUI traffic stop, according to police. Troopers stopped the car, driven erratically by Scott Patterson, 30, of Highgate, at 12:27 a.m. Sunday on Berkshire Center Road in Berkshire, police said. Police arrested Patterson on suspicion of driving drunk, saying his blood alcohol content was 0.187 percent. Yep. Very schuschpischousch indeed! Troopers said they placed Patterson in their cruiser, returned to Patterson’s car and discovered two of his three passengers, Richards and Jason Beyor, 31, of St. Albans, smoking pot. Police identified the third passenger as Sabrina Stewart, 28, of St. Albans. Police cited Beyor to appear March 28 in Vermont Superior Court in St. Albans on suspicion of possessing marijuana. Police cited Patterson to appear March 14 in Vermont Superior Court in St. Albans on suspicion of driving under the influence, his alleged second offense.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mary Re: Is Paypal storing private information on a computer? Dear Webby.... Is Paypal storing private information on a computer? Thanks Mary Dear Mary No, they don't store ANYTHING on your computer. PayPal is completely safe. Billions of people use it every day. Setting up a PayPal account is a bit of a nuisance, because it is all done on THEIR site, "behind the padlock". No information stays on your computer. Once you are set up, you have a user name and password. You simply remember those.So, choose some, that are easy for you to remember, and impossible for others to guess. With that user name and password, you can get onto PayPal at any computer, since it does not need anything FROM your computer. It just needs the user Name and Password from your memory. If you somehow lose your computer or hard drive, you can go to any CyberCafe, browse to http://tigerdirect.com, select a computer or hard drive, and pay for it with your PayPal. They don't need anything, that was on your previous computer, and don't put anything onto it. Then, when you want buy something or pay a utility bill, you hit the PayPal button, get asked for your user name and password, it shows you your balance and lets you re-consider whether this is a good time for that purchase or not. If you decide to go ahead, hit the Pay button, and it is done. All without ever showing or asking for any gory details. I realize it sounds scary, if you don't know how it works, but it is actually the safest thing around. It may take a day or so to for a new PayPal account to be activated, because they do a thorough check and make 100% sure, that you actually ARE the prson you claim to be, and that nobody else uses your name in vain. Once you are set up, everything suddenly becomes easy. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

On a Unitred flight lately the pilot announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." It DID help. The days of "Coffee, tea or me?" are definitely over.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Water Spritz to Stick Sprinkles on Frosting When frosting cookies or cakes with butter cream frosting, sprinkles seems to roll right off! This just happened to me, but then I had a moment of inspiration. I went and grabbed my water spray bottle from the ironing board, put fresh water in, and gave the remaining cookies a spritz. Voila! The sprinkles stuck! Don't use too much spray, just enough to lightly coat the frosting surface. Have fun. By kljohn from Crawford, CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods." The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?" "Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it." Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?" Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that"?

» Awwwww






[ view entry ] ( 196 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 154 )
Huh 


[ view entry ] ( 242 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 211 )
How good is BableFish ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Thanks Bob!
Thanks Bobbie!

I also appreciate the many Get-Well cards and letters.

So, what did I learn so far?
If you get one of these new designer-flu's, don't stop moving
around, even if movement makes you nauseous. Otherwise it
will move into your lungs and get really serious.

Tell your friends about what is going on!
When Dianne sent the EMTs after me on Saturday, and Barb
harrangued me over Skype on Sunday morning to hurry up and 
get to the hospital, it made me realize, that this was not 
something that I could tough out and that would just go away
on it's own.

Get a Costco card. Yes, there is a $50 membership fee, which
seems unfair and possibly illegal. Never mind that, and get one.
On Sunday, that card made it possible for me to get the 
medication I need to survive. I simply did not have the money,
that a regular pahrmacy would have demanded. Aside from
saving my life, which is rather handy in itself, that card paid
for itself on that day about three times over.

Save up and glue an emergency medical stash into a heel of
a boot or somewhere, where it won't get touched, except in
extreme emergencies. Medicare does not pay for expensive
medication like Azithromycin, and even if they re-imbursed
you part of the cost, it would be a slow re-imbursement, that
would not help you at the pharmacy counter.

Hopefully this advice will save YOU some day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"A couple of months in the laboratory can save a couple of hours in the library." --- Westheimer's Discovery
Thanks to Sandie for this story: I was trying to restart an intravenous line in a male patient while his wife sat next to the hospital bed, watching my every move. I had made several attempts to insert a 22-gauge catheter and had used up all I had in my IV tray. Another nurse passed by the doorway and I yelled, "Lisa, can you bring me a 22?" The patient's wife's eyes opened wide and she said, "You've done it now Bobby. She's going to shoot you!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

My neighbor is engaged in a major custody battle. His wife doesn't want him... and his mother won't take him back.
On vacation a six-year-old boy and his father were at the pool, where two very attractive women wearing skimpy bikinis were sunning themselves. The father noticed that his son kept staring at the girls and would occasionally glance back at him. He was bracing himself for questions his son might have when they got up to leave. His son watched the girls very closely as they left, then he turned to his father and said, "Dad, can I take that candy bar those girls left behind?" ---------- Times sure have changed ! I would have waited till they were out of sight of my father, then sprinted after them with their candy bar, and I would have gotten a hug amd smooch, maybe even a little kiss. Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles Grier, 52, in Ocala, Florida Suspect changed in Porta-Potty OCALA, Fla. (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a suspected bank robber was arrested when he was spotted exiting a portable toilet in different clothes shortly after the crime. Ocala police said Charles Grier, 52, entered a Bank of America location about 9:40 a.m. Friday and gave a teller a threatening note demanding cash and indicating he had a gun. Grier left the bank with an unspecified amount of cash and was next spotted by a police detective who noticed "a suspicious man" exiting a Porta-Potty across the street from the bank branch. The detective followed the man to a nearby restaurant and he was arrested with money from the bank. Police said a search of the portable toilet turned up the robbery note, an Airsoft pellet gun and the clothing the robber wore during the crime. Grier was jailed on robbery charges in lieu of $10,000 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fran Re: How good is that Babelfish translator that you got on the side menu? Dear Webby.... How good is that Babelfish translator that you got on the side menu? Fran Dear Fran It is excellent for getting the general idea of what a letter or web page is about. However, I would not recommend it for writing resumes or web pages or business letters. While it gets the ideas across, the grammar is often a bit on the funny side. If you have to use it in a chat or mail, it's best if each side writes in their own language and the receiving side uses the Babelfish to translate to their language. That way it is more obvious to each, that occasional wacky grammar and weird word choices are due to the translation and not intoxication of the sender. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

"Why do the Irish always fight amongst themselves?" "Everybody else is relatively sober by comparison. They don't have the right rhythm."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Change the Batteries in Your Programmable Thermostat If you have a programmable thermostat running your heating/air conditioner, before calling a service tech, check the batteries. A lot of customers do not know that they usually have 2 AA batteries that run them. You should change them every time you change the batteries in your smoke detector, that way you won't forget! Source: I used to be a service technician. By Everett from Hornell, NY http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Batteries, that are too weak for your camera, usually still work fine for about a year in a programable thermostat or wall clock. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Rina for this story: At the company water cooler, Ibragged about my children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a year-long research project in India. One co-worker's quip, however, stopped me short. "What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away from you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again and he screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." He sat down and an even larger chunk of plaster fell, this time hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"

» Miniatures






[ view entry ] ( 185 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 237 )
Get rarely used icons out of the way 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, February 28, 2011

Thanks Carol!
You made the world beautiful again!

I had just gotten more or less over one of the nasty designer-flu's,
but it had taken me almost a week to beat it, and during that
time I had not moved much more than the fingers on the keyboard,
because anything more than that, made me dizzy. I knew that
my lungs were starting to feel tight and heavy, so on Saturday
I went for a 2 mile walk. 

That was rough, and I briefly mentioned it on Skype to Dianne
the lady who provides the Bonus Links, sorta excusing why I 
was going to have a 45 minute power-nap.

44 minutes later, as I was just waking up, there was a knock 
on the door. Three friendly and smiling EMTs and a huge,
Winnebago size Ambulance. 

While I was wondering what charity or who they were collecting
for, they kept asking me how I was doing. Apparently Dianne had
called them and asked them to check up on the ol curmudgeon.

30 seconds after they left, the RCMP showed up. No hostile glare
as I am used to, when I get a speeding ticket, but friendly, smiling
face. Just doubling up on the EMTs and Ambulance.

Eventually Dianne came onto Skype, and explained things. She had
figured out, that I had COPD and Pneumonia, and needed to go
to the hospital to have my lungs drained.

Huh ?
Not much point going there late Saturday night. Our little rural 
hospital is not fully staffed on Saturday night.

When I couild not get enough oxygen, when I went to bed after
sending then newsletters out, and had to spend the night sitting
up, I realized that Dianne indeed had a point.

Then Carol's letter came in, and the world was beautiful again!
Thanks,Carol!

Then I was wondering, if they still did that lung draining like they 
used to in the Yukon (hold on to one nurse, and when she says
SQUEEZE, another nurse or a doctor rams a hollow lance in
below the rib cage and connects it to a vacuum jar). 

Once it was daylight, I did go to the hospital, looking forward to
squeezing a cute nurse. 

No such luck. One pretty nurse asked a bunch of questions while
another cutie took blood samples and checked blood pressure,
then they let me snooze in a chair, while I was waiting for the
X-Ray nurse to show up. 

They had a big fancy Toshiba X-Ray machine that would have 
looked good in a Star-War movie, but she took actual film
X-ray pictures, not digital.

Then I got to snooze in the chair again until the doctor showed 
up. "You got COPD, Pneumonia and Emphysema. Get this stuff 
from the drug store, no exercise or anything strenuous for three
days, and you'll be OK in a week. But it may happen again." 

Oh, OK.
That's exactly what Dianne had told me via Skype from far away.

I currently can't afford the local drug store, so I drove to Costco
in the next town. Their prices are about a third of what they
charge at most drug stores, but even that was way more than 
I had. 

So the pharmacist, who really knows his stuff, re-arranged the
prescription and knocked it down to close to what I had. Then 
phoned the hospital and flirted the nurse there into giving me a 
bong for the inhaler.

That saved another $28 and brought it down to $97.50
My emergency medical stash in the heel of my hiking boot
was $100, so I squeaked through. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. --- Will Rogers
A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact, I've discovered I can throw them at least 10 yards farther than I could my last ones."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

"Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on 'Destructive Pests.' A large number were present."
An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it. She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $5000." He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $2000." Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a dope grower in Prospect, NS Man arrested after 375 pot plants seized A 37-year-old man from Prospect, N.S., faces charges of marijuana production and electricity theft after police raided a large grow-op in Bedford overnight Saturday. RCMP said they seized 375 marijuana plants from above a car repair shop in an industrial building on Bluewater Road. This was the second major bust in three days in Nova Scotia. On Friday, police seized more than 200 plants from a home in Lakeview, near Lower Sackville. Staff Sgt. Roddie MacDonald, the federal drug co-ordinator for the RCMP, said the Bedford operation had more marijuana plants than typical grow-ops. "The normal, or the typical grow-op, around these areas are 50,100,150 to 200 maybe," MacDonald said. "So, you know, 375 marijuana plants — this is a large grow and it was very sophisticated." "Someone with 375 marijuana plants, it's definitely not for personal use. This would be harvested and sold at a high level so there would have to be some organized crime component." MacDonald said police secured the building Saturday night, but investigators did not take an inventory of the drugs until Sunday morning for safety reasons. "We found hazardous electrical wiring," he said, describing bare wires resting against wood. "This put the other tenants in the complex at great risk for fires." The man will be in court in May.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Amanda Re: rarely used icons Dear Webby.... I would like to get some icons off my desktop but not remove them from my computer...can you help? Thanks Amanda Dear Amanda Just make a folder on your desktop and name the folder "Rarely-used-stuff" or "Rare" or whatever you want. Then drag the icons into that new folder. You can make folders like that for task groups, for example one for all your graphics stuff, one for all your wordprocessing stuff, one for all your spreadsheets, and so on. have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Cookie Sheets Lined With Foil I have two young boys and a very busy life. I found keeping nonstick foil on my cookie sheets and storing them in the oven to be both a money and time saver. I have two cookie sheets; one large and one smaller one. I store them lined with nonstick foil at all times in the oven. I take them out to preheat the oven and then put whatever I am cooking directly on them. This saves on time since they are always ready to go, space in my cabinets and since I can just re-use them without washing, or remove the foil if it is dirty. Then I don't have to wash the cookie sheet. This tip saves money and time. By Cheryllynn from Smithsburg, MD http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Short on funds, Lisa decided with some apprehension to let her roommate, a professional dog groomer, give her a haircut. To her relief, she did a terrific job. "It's great!" she said. "But how can I be sure to get the same style the next time I go to the beauty shop?" "Simple," she answered. "Just tell me you want the top cut like a poodle, the sides like a schnauzer, and the back like a Lhasa apso."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile asked, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?" They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers asked why. The worker yelled, "His wife is here with his lunch".

» Carnival in Rio De Janero






[ view entry ] ( 204 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 741 )
Mystery Pop-Ups 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, February 27, 2011


A Greek policeman who was trying to stop the looting and burning,
got hit by a Molotov Cocktail. His buddy managed to slap the flames
out, and he lived. I have not seen pictures like that on the left wing
media, but in my opinion, that cop is a hero!

The anarchists are trying to cause chaos, because the Greek 
Government can't borrow money for some of the fancier socialist
perks, that people have gotten used to. The anarchists don't have 
a better idea, other than raising the taxes to over 100% for 
anybody not on Social Assistance. 

Just like the noisy crowd in Madison, they just don't get it.
When you can't borrow any more, then there has to be some
belt tightening, even if the unionized writers at the Enemy 
Times disagree.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will. --- John Kenneth Galbraith
While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?" The guide replied: "One."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

A man told his friend, "I haven't been feeling very well, so I visited the doctor yesterday." His friend was concerned and asked, "Did he find out what you had?" "Almost," answered the man. "What do you mean by 'almost'?" asked his friend. "Well," the man continued, "I had $76.50 and he charged me $75.00."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Winter Aconite
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Phillip Niere, 38, in Aachen, Germany Bank robber sues police after being arrested with his underpants showing The 38-year-old was arrested after he threatened to kill five staff at Noris Bank in Aachen, west Germany, if they did not dispense £200,000 to him immediately. He was caught out when a cashier pushed the silent alarm button in the bank without him realising, and police soon surrounded the building. Police managed to convince him that if he handed himself in, he would be treated nicely. He surrendered after an hour and he was removed from the bank by a single police officer, and taken down the street with his trousers around his ankles and his jumper dangling over his head. Mr Niere said he was left ‘humiliated’ after being led away with his underwear exposed. His lawyer said: 'The handcuffs are understandable, but what the police have to explain is why he was brought out with his jeans pulled down and his underwear on show. ‘It is clearly a breach of his human rights.' If you decide to wave a gun around in Germany and they are short of cops and ankle cuffs, wear clean underwear, because you might be doing the Penguin Parade.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Mysterious Pop-Ups Dear Webby, its me again, first I want to say how much I enjoy your news letter every day and what a big help you are to me!! thanks for everything, now! can you tell me how I can get this to stop! a little window will pop up and then all kinds of things pop up going wacky, the message is windows task bar what does that mean, should I click on where it says to organize task bar? I do not know what this is all about, thanks Sincerly Ann. Dear Ann That sounds like a nasty infection. Don't click on an of that weird stuff, and try to clean up the machine with a good and reputable anti-virus cleaner, like McAfee. It may be too late, because the first thing most of those viruses do, is block any anti-virus programs, that could get rid of them. So, please don't waste any time! You can get McAfee at a $45 discount, if you go in through the wholesale entrace at http://webby.com/mac Good Luck! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and raw eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know.... I don't eat raw cats."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Cookie Sheets Lined With Foil I have two young boys and a very busy life. I found keeping nonstick foil on my cookie sheets and storing them in the oven to be both a money and time saver. I have two cookie sheets; one large and one smaller one. I store them lined with nonstick foil at all times in the oven. I take them out to preheat the oven and then put whatever I am cooking directly on them. This saves on time since they are always ready to go, space in my cabinets and since I can just re-use them without washing, or remove the foil if it is dirty. Then I don't have to wash the cookie sheet. This tip saves money and time. By Cheryllynn from Smithsburg, MD http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of rum they had received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. When she walked back to Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said…”Don't sell that cow.”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Carole was planning her upcoming wedding and asked to wear her mother's wedding gown. When she tried it on, it was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Suddenly, her mother's eyes filled with tears. Putting an arm around her, Carole lovingly said, "Don't cry, Mom. Remember, you aren't losing a daughter, you're gaining a son." "Oh, forget about that sillinyess!" her mother sobbed. "You know and I know that he is an idiot, but has a steady job and is just barely smart enough not to argue with you or me. That doesn't bother me." "Then what is it, Mom?", Carole pleaded. "Waaaaaaaa! Sob, Sniff! I, I, I used to fit into that gown!", her mother wailed.

» 2011 Oscars






[ view entry ] ( 196 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 515 )
Worry 

The Worrying Doctrine

Write down everything that you want to worry about.

Pick one hour per week, anytime that you desire, to do nothing but worry about the things on your list.

Note: No other time is acceptable once a predetermined Time is established - should something prevent you from Utilizing that time period for worrying, you must wait Until that period arrives the following week.

Never, under any circumstances, worry before noon Or after 5 PM, Monday through Friday or before 10 AM Or after 8 PM on Saturday, Sunday, or Holidays.

Never, under any circumstances worry while at work, or While working on work materials or business related items.

If you insist on worrying, this immediately disqualifies your spouse or any other family member in the same household, from worrying. . . Only ONE worrier per household is allowed.

If any other member of the family wishes to assume the Responsibility as the OFFICIAL WORRIER, you may Relinquish the position, but immediately you are disqualified From future worrying. In this event, you must adhere to The above schedule and list all of your worries for the Appointed WORRIER to worry about for you.

You must never put on your list, or entertain worrying about things over which you have absolutely no control.

As a WORRIER, upon acceptance and association with any other group, club, association, etc., you must adhere to the above principles and monitor those with whom you associate, That they do also.

Severe penalties for "Not Worrying Properly"
Must be administered.



[ view entry ] ( 1047 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 484 )


What is winmail.dat about? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, February 26, 2011

Today's Tech Support Pits are about Winmail.dat and similar
turdlets. They don't do me any good, so I just dump them, 
but a lot of people have very strong opinions about them,
so I will lear up the mystery about them.

W7-SP1 is out. So far, there are no dire warnings about it, 
and apparently it helps the Adobe Flash Player to run for
hours without crashing. W7-SP1 is a surprisingly small file, 
but it DOES require a reboot.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there. -- Indira Gandhi ---------- Yeah, I know, a lot less pay, though :(
A third grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell "before." He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?" Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?" Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse. Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Phillipines
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles Cain, Hamilton, NJ Hamilton Township Deputy Mayor Charles Cain asked for "professional courtesy" during DWI arrest On the night he was charged with drunken driving, Hamilton Township Deputy Mayor Charles Cain pleaded for "professional courtesy" from the arresting officer, saying he was the "designated driver," according to a police report obtained by The Press of Atlantic City through an Open Public Records Act request. "Come on, you and I both know I'm gonna blow over the limit, how about a little professional courtesy," Cain reportedly told the arresting officer after being taken to the police station for a breath test and processing. "Come on, it's not like I was hurting anyone. I was the designated driver. I was just trying to drive them home." Cain also said, "I can't believe you're going to do this to me. I can't believe you're going to hang me out there like this," according to a report of the motor vehicle stop. Cain was arrested early Jan. 22 on Clarksville Road, just a few blocks from his Mays Landing house. The arrest came five days after Hamilton Township Committee began the process of laying off 20 percent of the municipal government, including, at the time, 11 police officers. They still seem to have enough cops to catch idiots like Charles Cain. In the police report, Officer Peter Burns stated that he was monitoring Clarktown Road for drunken drivers because it is "known as an alternative route for motorists attempting to avoid police patrols on Route 559". Burns stated that a vehicle with its high beams on traveled across the middle line and was heading directly at his patrol car. "I began preparing to avoid an impact when the vehicle veered right, back toward its side of the road." Burns then clocked the SUV at 40 mph in a 25 mph zone and pulled it over, the report says. Cain was too drunk to cooperate in a field sobriety test. ------------------ Mentioning "Designated Driver" while drunk is a really, really dumb idea.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mike Re: What are those Winmail.dat files about? Dear Webby, Occasionally I get mail that has a winmail.dat or similar file attached, that I can't open. What is that all about? Mike Dear Mike Actually, quite a few people asked about that lately. Most people refer to them as turds or turdlets. They are a harmless nuisance. Once upon a time, long, long ago, in the days of 7.2 KB networks, somebody at Microsoft smoked some really weird stuff, and decided to do things different from Eudora and Pegasus, the popular email programs in those days. Instead of embedding formatting information like fonts, sizes, colors, etc., they were going to keep all that info on the SENDER machine, and only attach routing information, so that a recipient, who was on the same LAN, could retrieve it. That routing information, not the formatting information, is in the turdlet, the .dat file. It doesn't work over the Internet, but on a LAN is a security issue. Over the Internet that LAN specific routing information is useless, especially since the sender machine is probably not even running when you get your mail. Within companies or departments, that led to really beautiful emails, and a drastic drop in roductivity. People spent more time on making their emails look pretty, than on the content. From the same machine, or the one downstairs, your wife can send you a beautifully formatted shopping list. But if she sends it to your work address, it will be very plain. The attached .dat turdlet won't find the formatting information over the net. The same applies to not only Outlook and Outlook Express, but most Microsoft programs. If people are complaining about you littering turdlets onto their computer, here is how to configure Outlook NOT to send turdlets. To Turn off Rich Text sending for messages in Microsoft Outlook 1) Click on Tools 2) Click Options, and then click the Mail Format tab. 3) In the Send in this Message Format list, select Plain Text, and then click OK. This will set your default sending method to Plain Text, which will lose your special formatting options with fonts, colors, etc. However everyone, no matter what email program they are using, will now be able to receive your email with no problems. If you want specific formatting like colors, fonts, sizes, etc to work over the Internet, then you need a full-featured email program like Eudora, Pegasus, Alpine, etc. Those do it without turdlets, that nobody can use. There isn't really a good reason to use fancy formatting, if the sender is the only one, who can see that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

Thanks to Ross for this story: After booking my 96 year old aunt on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my aunt because of her arthritis and impaired vision and absentmindedness.. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your aunt need a rental car?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Air Out New Shower Curtain Before Hanging We bought a new plastic shower liner, used inside fabric curtain. You should not hang up in the bathroom, as it gives off harmful chemicals. So what we did was hang the liner in the outside garage for 10 days. By Sally from Buffalo, NY http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
While waiting for a prescription to be filled, I heard an explosion from behind the divider, followed by an outpouring of dense black smoke. The Pharmacist emerged several minutes later, his white uniform scorched black. He glared at the woman waiting next to me and said, "Would you ask your doctor to write your prescription again, and this time -- PRINT IT !"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented "These are very good! You must have a good camera." He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to go home he said: "That was a really delicious meal! You must have a very good stove."

» Scenic America






[ view entry ] ( 331 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 280 )
How to get rid of icon arrows on W7 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, February 25, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Don't learn the hard way, that it’s illegal to recite the 
Gettysburg Address on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial 
without a permit, even if you are 6'4 and dressed up as Lincoln!

Read more at: The Daily Caller

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. --- Arthur C. Clarke
Linda is from New Jersey, a state where pumping your own gas is prohibited. So when she moved to Florida, she had to get used to to self-serve stations. Linda was embarrassed when she stopped for gas in Orlando and couldn't figure out how to use the pump. Finally she went into the station and confessed to the women behind the counter that she needed help. One said, "Honey, are you a recent widow, or are you from New Jersey?"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited* downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited* downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! They also provide the tools to burn your Movie Downloads to CD or DVD, so you can play them on your standalone DVD Player

A Sunday-school teacher was trying to explain about saying grace before meals. One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, "Jerry, what does you father say when the family sits down to dinner?" Jerry answered, "He says 'Go easy on the butter, kids -- it's four dollars a pound!'"
Click through the picture to the large version. Krka, Croatia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mark Spellen, 23 in Sudbyry, Ontario Drunken driver missing a tire fails to elude police Police arrested a drunken driver last night after a short chase in which the driver, whose car was missing a tire, drove down a dead-end street and crashed into a snowbank. Officer Kevin Abraham investigated a hit-and-run accident around 9:30 p.m. and first heard Marc Spellen driving north on Broadway. Spellen's Chevrolet Cavalier had heavy front end damage and was missing a front tire, said Sgt. Stephen Smith. "He was driving on the rim. He was just shooting sparks everywhere." Abraham tried to stop Spellen while on foot, but Spellen drove around him. The officer got into his cruiser and chased Spellen, and Spellen drove down Horne Street, which is a dead end. "He hit a few snowbanks on the way and eventually got the car stuck in the snow," Smith said. Police hadn't booked Spellen as of 11:15 last night because he was too drunk.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marnie Re: Dear Webby, you are amazing! I have been asking all kinds of people for a way to remove those stupid, ugly arrows, and there you have been doing it for a dozen years. Does that work for Blonde Windows too? Marnie Dear Marnie Unfortunately not. There are some VISTA programs that work on W7-32 bit, but don't work on W7-64 bit. Apparently W7-32 bit is just more or less Vista with cosmetic changes, so those programs work fine. Hit the Windows key and PAUSE, to see which OS you got. If you have W7-32 bit, then you can use Vista Shortcut Overlay Remover 2.0 For 64 bit W7, you will need the programs from Kill W7 Arrow Since I don't have time to mess with W7, I have not personally tried that, but there are no warnings about that program on the net. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can write emails, you can blog and make money. Blogging To The Bank Yes, you CAN! However, you have to actually start doing it, not just thinking about it. Here is a way to get the famous Blogging To The Bank book for 1/5 of what you pay elsewhere. Stop dreaming and CLICK

Father O'Malley answers the phone: "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?" "It is" "This is the IRS. Can you help us?" "I can" "Do you know a Ted Houlihan?" "I do" "Is he a member of your congregation?" "He is" "Did he donate $10,000 to the church?" "He will".
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Polystyrene Containers for Seedlings My tip is saving all the polystyrene cups you get for take outs, and use them for potting up seedlings. The take-away trays can be used as mini propagators sitting nicely along a sunny window; no need for a big glass house. Source: My old auntie told me. By Bubbleswire from Ireland http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character. Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence. The service matched them together instantly. They both had identical scores on the BS meter.

» Lichens of North America






[ view entry ] ( 182 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 423 )

<<First <Back | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | Next> Last>>