Monday, March 25, 2013, 09:54 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, March 25.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
 |
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
There is only one you... Don't you dare change just because you're outnumbered!
--- Charles Swindoll
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
--- T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the
youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an
army recruiter's office.
There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter,
as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could
handle this new situation.
"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.
"You didn't really do that, did you?"
"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she
was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply
asked, "YOU ? Making your own bed every morning?"
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to
become Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the
teenager over to the weight-lifting department, admiring a
set of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy, "I promise
I'll use 'em every day."
"I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment on your
part," the father pointed out.
"Please, Dad?" the boy continued.
"They're not cheap either," the father came back.
"I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see."
Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed
for the door. From the corner of the store he heard his son
yelp, "What! You mean I have to carry them to the car?"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Dustin Stirewalt, 20 of Grace Church Road, SALISBURY, NC
Smelly Dope
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Police in North Carolina said the odor of freshly-sprayed
cologne at a traffic checkpoint led to the discovery
marijuana and pills.
The Salisbury Police Department said Officer J.R. Cable
became suspicious when he detected "the strong odor
of freshly sprayed cologne" coming from a vehicle at
a traffic checkpoint and searched the vehicle.
Cable discovered marijuana and pills in the vehicle,
police said.
Dustin Stirewalt, 20, was jailed on three counts
of drug possession. He was released after posting
$5,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Daniel
Re: No tools in spybot
Dear Webby,
in my copy of " spybot-search & destroy "
there is no "tools" listed. is there a newer version
available?
daniel
Dear Daniel
Switch to advanced mode,
then you see the tools in the left bottom.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Mesh Bag for Cleaning Cookie Cutters
Use the mesh bag from your next turkey to throw your cookie
cutters into. Place the mesh and cookie cutters in your
dish washer making sure that the end is closed and placed
over a prong. The cutters can swish around and not get
thrown around. Cleaning is a breeze this way.
By Louella from Billings, MT
You can use 5 lb Onion bags for washing drooled on and
dirty lego blocks and small toys. Works fine in the
sink too. Just get your toddler to swish around the
noisy bag for a while, then rinse it. Because it makes
noise, they love doing it. They will even put the blocks
into the onion bag after playing.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been recommending since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with
the sweetest face for the opening scene of the play.
"Now, all you have to do is, when I direct the choir to
sing '...and the angel lit the candle', you come on stage
and light all the candles."
"I can do it - I can do it!" the little boy said, excited
to be the one picked.
Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night
arrived. The choir was in grand voice, the stage was
beautifully decorated with dozens of unlit candles all
around, awaiting the moment when the cute littlest
angel made his interest.
The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play,
and the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with
an expectant "...and the angel lit the candle," and everyone
looked stage right for the entrance.
No little boy. The director gave the downbeat again, and
gestured for a louder line, which the choir gave him -
"...and the angel lit the candle," and again, all eyes looked
stage right. No little boy.
The director, beginning to sweat, motioned with great,
sweeping gestures, and the choir thundered into the line
- the curtains belled slightly from the sound -
"...AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE!"
And into the silence which followed came a clear,
boy-soprano voice floating piercingly from stage right
"...and my sister took my lighter!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A little girl notices that her mother has several strands of
white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.
She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are
some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then asked, "All of grandma's hairs are white.
You must have been really evil!"
Today, March 25, in
0421 The city of Venice was founded.
1306 Robert the Bruce was crowned king of Scotland.
1409 The Council of Pisa opened.
1634 Lord Baltimore founded the Catholic colony of Maryland.
1655 Puritans jailed Governor Stone after a military
victory over Catholic forces in the colony of Maryland.
1669 Mount Etna in Sicily erupted destroying Nicolosi.
20,000 people were killed.
1700 England, France and Netherlands ratify the
2nd Extermination Treaty.
1807 The first railway passenger service began in England.
1807 British Parliament abolished the slave trade.
1821 Greece gained independence from Turkey.
1856 A. E. Burnside patented Burnside carbine.
1857 Frederick Laggenheim took the first photo of a
solar eclipse.
1865 The SS General Lyon at Cape Hatteras caught fire
and sank. 400 people were killed.
1879 Japan invaded the kingdom of Liuqiu (Ryukyu) Islands, formerly a vassal of China.
1895 Italian troops invaded Abyssinia (Ethiopia).
1900 The U.S. Socialist Party was formed in Indianapolis.
1901 The Mercedes was introduced by Daimler at the
five-day "Week of Nice" in Nice, France.
1901 It was reported in Washington, DC, that Cubans were
beginning to fear annexation.
1905 Russia received Japan's terms for peace.
1909 In Russia, revolutionary Popova was arrested
on 300 murder charges.
1911 In New York City, 146 women were killed in fire at the
Triangle Shirtwaist Company in New York City. The owners
of the company were indicted on manslaughter charges
because some of the employees had been behind locked
doors in the factory. The owners were later acquitted
and in 1914 they were ordered to pay damages to each
of the twenty-three families that had sued.
1915 21 people died when a U.S. F-4 submarine sank off
the Hawaiian coast.
1919 The Paris Peace Commission adopted a plan to protect
nations from the influx of foreign labor.
1940 The U.S. agreed to give Britain and France access
to all American warplanes.
1947 A coalmine explosion in Centralia, IL, killed 111 people.
1953 The USS Missouri fired on targets at Kojo, North Korea.
1954 RCA manufactured its first color TV set
1957 The European Economic Community was established
with the signing of the Treaty of Rome.
1960 A guided missile was launched from a nuclear powered
submarine for the first time.
1970 The Concorde made its first supersonic flight.
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan ordered emergency aid for
the Honduran army. U.S. helicopters took Honduran troops
to the Nicaraguan border.
1990 A fire in Happy Land, an illegal New York City social
club, killed 87 people.
1990 Estonia voted for independence from the Soviet Union.
1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein launched a major
counter-offensive to recapture key towns from Kurds
in northern Iraq.
1992 Soviet cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev returned to Earth after
spending 10 months aboard the orbiting Mir space station.
1993 President de Klerk admitted that South Africa had
built six nuclear bombs, but said that they had
since been dismantled.
1996 An 81-day standoff by the antigovernment Freemen
began at a ranch near Jordan, MT.
1998 The FCC nets $578.6 million at auction for
licenses for new wireless technology.
2004 The U.S. Senate voted (61-38) on the Unborn Victims
of Violence Act (H.R. 1997) to make it a separate crime
to harm a fetus during the commission of a violent
federal crime.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 8 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3.1 / 618 )
Is this the end of MSN Mail ?
Sunday, March 24, 2013, 12:43 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, March 24.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad.
People are either charming or tedious.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
Love does not dominate; it cultivates.
--- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
--- William G. McAdoo
If you tell the Navy to secure a building,
they will turn out the lights and lock the door.
If you tell the Army to secure a building, they will occupy
it and forbid entry to those without a pass.
If you tell the Marines to secure a building, they assault
with heavy fire, crater the building, and call for an air
strike to make sure.
If you tell the Air Force to secure a building, they will
negotiate a three year lease with an option to buy.
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
From Bobbie:
On vacation this year I went to a resort in Wyoming. As
part of the usual activities, a neighboring ranch invited
guests from our resort to participate in a cattle drive.
After watching 50 make-believe cowpokes whooping and
hollering, I rode up to the ranchowner and asked
her how many cowboys it normally takes to drive a herd of
that size.
"One," she replied, "and a dog."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Derwayne Sharp, 38, Greensboro, N.C.
Jailed for Sexually Assaulting
Child And Dog
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Derwayne Sharp, a 38-year-old North Carolina bonehead, has
been jailed after he allegedly raped a child and sexually
assaulted a dog.
According to the Guilford County Sheriff's Office, Sharp
is accused of sexually assaulting a young girl and a dog.
Although the alleged crime reportedly took place in 2005,
an investigation hadn't been launched into the matter until
January of this year.
Sharp was arrested on January 11th and was charged with
sexual exploitation of a minor.
Those charges were upgraded on Monday to first-degree rape
of a child, crimes against nature, sexual offense with a
child, taking indecent liberties with children and two
counts of sexual exploitation of a minor.
Sharp's bond has been set at $525,000. He made an initial
court appearance on Tuesday and is expected back in court
some time next week.
Tech Support Pits
From: Penny
Re: MSN Problems
Dear Webby
Just wondering, Did MSN change to Outlook, or did I do something
to change my Hotmail to Outlook???
I don't like it. And what can I do to go back to MSN?
Also...We'd REALLY appreciate it if you'd stop sending the
cold and snow to Ohio !!!
Penny
Dear Penny
MSN mail is dead or dying.
Just like Microsoft decided that Windows 7 is suitable
punishment for the sins of your wild youth, so is
Windows Live, that they want you to use instead of HoeMail,
MSN Mail and Outlook Depressed.
You have a choice: Follow the edict from the papal throne
and get used to Windows Live,
or be an uncouth heathen rebel and switch to Gmail
or one of the classic email programs.
I have used Eudora since long before there was MSN mail,
and I am not about to change to a lesser program in the
foreseeable future. If I had to change, I would go with
Thunderbird.
If you want a full-featured email program, there is a lot
of choice: Eudora, the good old Rolls Royce;
Pegasus, another classic, still going strong, though it may
reqire reading some instructions;
Thunderbird: New and slick and diligently updated by the
Mozilla crew, that takes care of FireFox.
And so on.
By the way, you CAN use a nice and respectable Gmail adress
with a full-featured land based email program. You are not
restricted to use it as just WebMail. You can pull it down
and manage your mail with a full-featured email program.
The Webmail part of Gmail is very brief and very limited.
It is good enough to quickly check your mail while at
McDonalds or some other WiFi Hotspot, but not intended
for proper email management.
For that you use a full featured POP email program.
Re the cold in Ohio: My lap is nice and warm!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Frozen Drinks for Flying
I flew recently out of the country and had a few bottles of
thirst quencher with me. I had decided to freeze two of
them, and these were the only ones that made it though
the security screening. So I learned it's the only way
you can carry drinks - frozen solid.
By SSilva from Chicago, IL
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been recommending since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
When future U.S. president William Howard Taft was president
of the Philippine Commission in 1900, Secretary of War Elihu
Root cabled him to ask how he was--Root had heard that Taft
was ill. Taft, who weighed over 350 pounds, reassured Root
by cabling that he was much better and that he had, in fact,
just returned from a twenty-five-mile ride on horseback.
Elihu Root cabled back, "How is the horse?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
>From Bim
Each day when I would come home from work I would drop to
my knees and ask my 4-year-old son if he wanted to box. I
wanted him to learn how to protect himself. We would spar
around for a few minutes before supper.
One day my wife and I took our son to get new shoes. The
shoe salesman was fiendly and allowed my son to try on
several pairs of shoes before we decided on a particular
pair that he liked. We asked if he wanted to wear them home
and he replied, "yes".
The salesman, who was kneeling on the floor in front of our
son, held the old shoes in his hands and asked, "do you
want a box?"
Our son stood up and punched him right on the nose and in
the right eye.
After grabbing our son we had to spend the next several
minutes explaining why this happened. Luckilly, our
salesman was also the father of a 4-year-old.
Today, March 24, in
1379 The Gelderse war ended.
1545 German Parliament opened in Worms.
1720 In Paris, banking houses closed due to financial crisis.
1765 Britain passed the Quartering Act that required the American
colonies to house 10,000 British troops
1832 Mormon Joseph Smith was beaten, tarred and feathered in Ohio.
1837 Canada gave blacks the right to vote
1878 The British frigate Eurydice sank killing 300.
1880 The first "hail insurance company" was incorporated in
Connecticut.
It was known as Tobacco Growers’ Mutual Insurance Company.
1882 In Berlin, German scientist Robert Koch announced the
discovery of the tuberculosis germ (bacillus).
1898 The first US made automobile was sold.
1904 Vice Adm. Tojo sank seven Russian ships as the Japanese
strengthened their blockade of Port Arthur.
1906 In Mexico, the Tehuantepec Istmian Railroad opened as a
rival to the Panama Canal.
1906 The "Census of the British Empire" revealed that England
ruled 1/5 of the world.
1911 In Denmark, penal code reform abolished corporal punishment.
1924 Greece became a republic.
1927 Chinese Communists seized Nanking and break with Chiang
Kai-shek over the Nationalist goals.
1938 The U.S. asked that all powers help refugees fleeing
from the Nazis.
1946 The Soviet Union announced that it was withdrawing its
troops from Iran.
1955 The first oil drill seagoing rig was put into service.
1960 A U.S. appeals court ruled that the novel,
"Lady Chatterly’s Lover", was not obscene and could be
sent through the mail.
1972 Great Britain imposed direct rule over Northern Ireland.
1976 The president of Argentina, Isabel Peron, was deposed
by her country's military.
1989 The Exxon Valdez spilled 240,000 barrels
(11 million gallons) of oil in Alaska's Prince William Sound
after it ran aground.
1989 The U.S. decided to send humanitarian aid to the Contras.
1999 NATO launched air strikes against Yugoslavia (Serbia,
Montenegro, Kosovo and Vojvodina). The attacks marked the
first time in its 50-year history that NATO attacked a
sovereign country. The bombings were in response to Serbia's
refusal to sign a peace treaty with ethnic Albanians who
were seeking independence for the province of Kosovo.
1999 The 7-mile tunnel under Mont Blanc in France was an
inferno after a truck carrying flour and margarine caught
on fire. At least 30 people were killed.
2005 The government of Kyrgyzstan collapsed after opposition
protesters took over President Askar Akayev's presidential
compound and government offices.
2006 In Spain, the Basque separatist group ETA announced a
permanent cease-fire.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 11 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3.1 / 673 )
Saturday, March 23, 2013, 10:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, March 23.
They got the 3 dead and 300 injured car pile-up on the #2,
north of where Dianne, the lady who does the Bonus links,
lives, cleaned up.
She sent me this picture:
Apparently the Jack-Knife happened really slowly, and none
of the cattle in the trailer were hurt.
The truck needed major equipment, though, to get straightened
out.
By the way, Dianne celebrates her 29th birthday today.
You can write to her at funk1@fire-cat.com
and wish her a happy birthday.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Television has raised writing to a new low.
--- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974)
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
--- Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957)
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
A woman, her husband, and their three rambunctious young sons
were in their car waiting at a traffic. The woman glanced
over at the car next them, noticing a blissfully happy mother
with her baby daughter.
Looking at her husband she said, "As soon as I lose my weight
from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter."
The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of
snacks, and said, "Here, have another cookie."
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his
anxious Patient. "You only have six months to live."
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.
Regaining his Composure, he apologetically told his physician
that he had no medical Insurance. "I can't possibly pay you
in that time."
"Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Crystal Frantzen, 28, of 938 Big Hollow Road, Blountville,
and Gary Lynn Tipton, 58, of 2300 Portland Ave., Kingsport.
Prostitute and car seller sent to jail
in Tennessee for low down haggling
Reported by
Haggling over the price of a car took a turn towards the
illegal Wednesday morning, according to police, after
reports of indecent exposure at a Blountville gas station
prompted the arrest of a pair on prostitution-related
charges.
The female suspect allegedly admitted to performing oral
sex on a man who was selling a used car, in an effort to,
"get a better deal."
Police report they also located 6 Valium in possession of
the male suspect, prompting additional drug charges.
Shortly before noon the Sullivan County Sheriff's Office
began receiving multiple calls about a possible indecent
exposure in progress at the BP Station, 1309 Highway 394.
An incident report says a responding deputy observed the
suspects' vehicle, a gray Cadillac, at the nearby
intersection of Highway 394 and Franklin Drive.
A stop was conducted with the occupants identified as
Gary Lynn Tipton, 58, of 2300 Portland Ave., Kingsport,
and Crystal Frantzen, 28, of 938 Big Hollow Road, Blountville.
The report says Frantzen admitted to being at the gas
station inside the vehicle with Tipton, who was selling
the car, and performing oral sex to get a better price.
She was arrested and charged with prostitution.
Police say Tipton also admitted to the incident, prompting
his arrest on charges of solicitation of prostitution.
In Tipton's pocket officers reportedly located a plastic
container containing six Valium, meriting an additional
charge of possession of schedule II drugs.
Frantzen and Tipton were booked into the Sullivan County
jail. Mr Tipton's bond had been set at $2,000
while ms Frantzen's bond is $1000.
They really seem to frown upon carrying Valium while
haggling out the price of an old car.
Tech Support Pits
From: Penny
Re: MSN Problems
Dear Webby
Just wondering, Did MSN change to Outlook, or did I do something
to change my Hotmail to Outlook???
I don't like it. And what can I do to go back to MSN?
Also...We'd REALLY appreciate it if you'd stop sending the
cold and snow to Ohio !!!
Penny
Dear Penny
MSN mail is dead or dying.
Just like Microsoft decided that Windows 7 is suitable
punishment for the sins of your wild youth, so is
Windows Live, that they want you to use instead of HoeMail,
MSN Mail and Outlook Depressed.
You have a choice: Follow the edict from the papal throne
and get used to Windows Live,
or be an uncouth heathen rebel and switch to Gmail
or one of the classic email programs.
I have used Eudora since long before there was MSN mail,
and I am not about to change to a lesser program in the
foreseeable future. If I had to change, I would go with
Thunderbird.
If you want a full-featured email program, there is a lot
of choice: Eudora, the good old Rolls Royce;
Pegasus, another classic, still going strong, though it may
reqire reading some instructions;
Thunderbird: New and slick and diligently updated by the
Mozilla crew, that takes care of FireFox.
And so on.
By the way, you CAN use a nice and respectable Gmail adress
with a full-featured land based email program. You are not
restricted to use it as just WebMail. You can pull it down
and manage your mail with a full-featured email program.
The Webmail part of Gmail is very brief and very limited.
It is good enough to quickly check your mail while at
McDonalds or some other WiFi Hotspot, but not intended
for proper email management.
For that you use a full featured POP email program.
Re the cold in Ohio: My lap is nice and warm!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fixing Dry Skin
I have been using pure coconut oil for the past two months.
I no longer have red, cracked, and bleeding hands nor do my
feet have large unhappy cracks in them. It even stopped my
fingernails from flaking and splitting. I use it daily and
if applying to my feet, at bedtime, I wear socks to bed.
But the oil doesn't seem to stain anything. It is also a
good deodorant and anti-fungal cream, thus removing
unwanted odors as well. Seems to be an excellent all
around product.
By jayston
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been recommending since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview
for a good paying job. The company boss asked various
questions about him and his education, but then asked him,
"What is three times seven?"
"22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on
his calculator (he *knew* he should have taken it to the
interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.
About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was
hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse
in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day,
he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he
got such a simple question wrong.
The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Today, March 23, in
1026 Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy.
1066 The 18th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
1657 France and England formed an alliance against Spain.
1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared,
"give me liberty, or give me death!"
1794 Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine.
1806 Explorers Lewis and Clark, reached the Pacific coast,
and began their return journey to the east.
1808 Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain.
1836 The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale.
1839 The first recorded use of "OK" [oll korrect] was
used in Boston's Morning Post.
1840 The first successful photo of the Moon was taken.
1848 Hungary proclaimed its independence of Austria.
1857 Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger
elevator in a public building. It was at the corner
of Broome Street and Broadway in New York City.
1858 Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar.
1880 John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill.
The mill increased flour production by 70 percent.
1889 U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white
colonization.
1901 Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her
now famous toast.
1901 It was learned that Boers were starving in British
concentration camps in South Africa.
1903 The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent.
1909 British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole.
1917 Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal
to French President Poincare.
1918 Lithuania proclaimed independence.
1925 The state of Tennessee enacted a law that made it
a crime for a teacher in any state-supported public
school to teach any theory that was in contradiction
to the Bible's account of man's creation (in 7 days).
1933 The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act.
The act effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial
legislative powers.
1940 "Truth or Consequences" was heard on radio
for the first time.
1942 The Japanese occupy the Andaman Islands.
1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began
evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes
to concentration camps.
1951 U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars
in a surprise attack in Korea.
1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons.
1965 America's first two-person space flight took off from
Cape Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and
John W. Young aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3.
1965 The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators.
About 100 people were killed.
1967 Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam War
the biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement.
1970 Mafia "Boss" Carlo Gambino was arrested for
plotting to steal $3 million.
1972 Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully
jumping 35 cars.
1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi,
left Panama for Egypt.
1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory
rape a crime for men but not women.
1983 U.S. President Reagan first proposed development
of technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal
became known as the Strategic Defense Initiative and
"Star Wars."
1989 Two electrochemists, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischman,
announced that they had created nuclear fusion in a
test tube at room temperature.
1990 Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was ordered
to help clean up Prince William Sound and pay $50,000 in
restitution for the 1989 oil spill.
1993 U.N. "experts" announced that record ozone lows had been
registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere.
1994 Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey
League (NHL) career record with his 802nd goal.
1996 Taiwan held its first democratic presidential elections.
1998 Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to
Jewish foundations as restitution for Nazi looting.
1998 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet.
2001 Russia's orbiting Mir space station plunged into the
South Pacific after its 15-years of use.
2013 Bonus-Link Dianne turned 29
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 13 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 618 )
Printing in the wrong font size
Friday, March 22, 2013, 12:44 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, March 22.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
From Walter, the Stonecarver:
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
--- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.
He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached
a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
That student got back his test score and $64 change.
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning,
having just awoken from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not," he asks.
She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
The husband says to her, "What are you talking about?
We're both lying here in bed together and talking to
one another."
The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."
Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world
makes you think you're dead?"
His wife answers, "I know I'm dead, because I woke up
this morning and nothing hurts!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Ashley Nicole Williams, 19, Lebanon, Mo
jailed for Molesting her own baby
Reported by Weekly Vice
Ashley Nicole Williams, a 19-year-old Missouri woman, has
been jailed after she allegedly molested her own
infant child.
According to the Laclede County Sheriff's Office, deputies
were dispatched to Mercy Hospital of Lebanon after receiving
a report of suspected child abuse.
During the investigation, Williams' husband told detectives
that he saw Ashley touch the child in a sexual manner on
"several occasions" during the past five days.
When deputies interviewed Ashley, she allegedly admitted to
the charge stating that she wanted to know what it was like
to be a molester instead of the one being molested.
Ashley Willaims was booked into the Laclede County Jail and
charged with first-degree child molestation. She remains held
in lieu of $100,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Guinn
Re: Printing in wrong font size
Dear Webby
I type in font size 10, but it prints out in font size 12.
How can I correct this without any fuss? I haven't asked
for any help for a few months as I have been in hospital
or recovery for six months and still find it hard to get
things done, like writing letters.
Now if you can just fix my problem....
Guinn
Dear Guinn
The printing is not really done in font sizes any more,
unless you use a Dot matrix printer.
For the page Set-Up click on File, Page Setup,
and set it up there. You can zoom or shrink the page,
make ithe page fit the sheet, and do all kinds of neat stuff.
Basically, since the demise of the Dot matrix printers,
the print job is converted to a picture right on your
computer. That picture can be squished or stretched any
way you want. You can check with the Print Preview how
it will look. The printer does no longer store fonts,
that can be called during printing. It simply prints
the picture of the page.
I get my toner from Atlantic Inkjet, very cheap, especially
with the WEBBY coupon. Thanks to Atlantic Inkjet I can
afford to print nice pictures and hang them up. To make
them fit exactly one sheet, I use the Page Setup and
Print Preview.
So, don't worr about point sizes, just squish the page
to your liking.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Preventing Blisters in Tight Shoes
I found that swathing between my toes lightly with lotion,
vaseline or face cream before I put on my socks eases
this friction before a blister can form. Any other
ideas out there? Placing lambswool became a problem
keeping it in place.
By Avis
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been recommending since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
>From AmberRose:
I'd noticed that my 60-year-old father seemed to be
losing his hearing, so I mentioned it to my mother.
"Things haven't changed that much," she said.
"Only difference is, before, he didn't listen.
Now, he can't."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Why English Teachers Retire Early
The following similes and metaphors were committed by
US high school students.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had
its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking
alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from
experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at
a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole
in it and now goes around the country speaking at high
schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E coli and
he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that
sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
7. The revelation that his marriage had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock,
like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly
the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
9. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a
Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
10. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene
had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation
in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead
of 7:30.
11. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after
a sneeze.
12. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like
maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
13. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers
raced across the grassy field toward each other like two
freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling
at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm traveling at 35 mph.
14. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
who had also never met.
15. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she
was the East River.
16. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame
duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe
from stepping on a land mine or something.
18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended
one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
19. He was deeply in love. When she spoke he thought he
heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
20. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98
missing legs.
21. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally
staple it to the wall.
Today, March 22, in
1457 Gutenberg Bible became the first printed book.
1622 Indians attacked a group of colonist in the
James River area of Virginia. 347 residents were killed.
1630 The first legislation to prohibit gambling was
enacted. It was in Boston, MA.
1719 Frederick William abolished serfdom on crown property
in Prussia.
1733 Joseph Priestly invented carbonated water (seltzer).
1794 The U.S. Congress banned U.S. vessels from supplying
slaves to other countries.
1841 Englishman Orlando Jones patented cornstarch.
1872 Illinois became the first state to require sexual
equality in employment.
1882 The U.S. Congress outlawed polygamy.
1895 Auguste and Louis Lumiere showed their first movie
to an invited audience in Paris.
1901 Japan proclaimed that it was determined to keep
Russia from encroaching on Korea.
1903 Niagara Falls ran out of water due to a drought.
1904 The first color photograph was published in the
London Daily Illustrated Mirror.
1905 Child miners in Britain received a maximum 8-hour workday.
1907 Russians troops completed the evacuation of Manchuria
in the face of advancing Japanese forces.
1907 In Paris, it was reported that male cab drivers
dressed as big busted women to attract riders.
1915 A German zeppelin made a night raid on Paris railway
stations.
1935 Persia was renamed Iran.
1941 The Grand Coulee Dam in Washington began operations.
1943 Obligatory work for woman ends in Belgium.
1946 The first U.S. rocket (a captured German V2) to leave
the earth's atmosphere reached a height of 50-miles.
1948 The United States announced a land reform plan for Korea.
1960 A.L. Schawlow & C.H. Townes obtained a patent for the laser.
1965 U.S. confirmed that its troops used chemical warfare
against the Vietcong.
1974 The Viet Cong proposed a new truce with the U.S. and
South Vietnam. The truce included general elections.
1981 RCA put its Selectra Vision laser disc players on market.
1987 A barge loaded with 32,000 tons of refuse left Islip, NY,
to find a place to unload. After being refused by several
states and three countries space was found back in Islip.
1990 A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Captain Hazelwood
not guilty in the Valdez oil spill.
1991 Pamela Smart, a high school teacher, was found guilty
in New Hampshire of manipulating her student-lover
to kill her husband.
1992 A Fokker F-28 veered off a runway at New York's
LaGuardia airport and into Flushing Bay, killing 27 people.
1993 Intel introduced the Pentium-processor (80586)
64 bits-60 MHz-100+ MIPS.
1995 Russian cosmonaut Valeri Polyakov returned to Earth
after setting a record for 438 days in space.
2002 A collection of letters and cards sent by Princess Diana
of Wales sold for $33,000. The letters and cards were
written to a former housekeeper at Diana's teenage home.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 151 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 693 )
Thursday, March 21, 2013, 09:52 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, March 21.
Happy first day of spring!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.
The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to
give careful consideration to both sides of the same side,
as long as somebody else is paying for it.
--- Socratex
There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your
heart's desire. The other is to get it.
--- George Bernard Shaw
Two friends signed up for college. When they looked at their
schedules, the first friend noticed he had Logical Reasoning
as a class. Not knowing what it was, he went to the class
and asked the teacher what logical reasoning was.
The teacher than proceeded to explain:
"Do you have a weed eater?"
"Yes," replied the guy.
"You have a weed eater, which means you have a lawn,
which means you have a house, which means you have kids,
which means you have a wife, which means you're straight."
When he got out of class, he met with his friend who asked
him what logical reasoning was about.
"Well," said the guy. "Do you have a weed eater?"
"No," replied the friend.
"Then you're gay!"
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
>From Edna
A few years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house,
which was situated on a busy thoroughfare. Our real estate
agent decided to have open-house inspection nearly every day
to promote the sale. We instructed the children not to talk
to anyone about the house.
One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and
asked if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first
reaction was to smile and ignore his question. But he became
more persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one
secret but she could not tell it to him.
"Now we're getting somewhere," he said. "Tell me the secret.
I promise I won't tell anyone."
She looked him straight in the eye and whispered, "We have
monsters in our sewer."
Click on the picture for the large version
Where is spring?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Bridgett Dixon, 42, Monongahela, Pennsylvania
Jailed After Parking Car On Railroad Tracks
To Prevent Trains From Blowing Their Horns
Reported by Weekly Vice
Bridgett Dixon, a 42-year-old Monongahela woman, was jailed
Friday after she allegedly parked her car on a set of
railroad tracks to stop any train that might come through
town blowing its horn.
DUH!
When they see anything on the tracks, they blow their
horns until the stuff has been removed!
According to Monongahela police, officers were dispatched
after receiving a report that a woman, later identified as
Dixon, was at a local convenience store complaining that
her car was stuck on a set of nearby railroad tracks.
When officers arrived on the scene around 11:30 p.m., they
found Dixon's vehicle parked on the tracks with the vehicle's
doors left open.
When officers asked Dixon why her vehicle was parked on the
tracks to begin with, she stated that the sound of the train's
horn made her angry and she intended to stop any train that
might come through with its horn blowing.
Officers determined that Dixon didn't live in the area where
her car was parked on the tracks.
She was booked into jail on numerous charges, including
risking a catastrophe. She was released after posting
$5,000 bond. She is scheduled to appear in court on
March 26th for a preliminary hearing.
Tech Support Pits
From: Adam
Re: PayPal buttons
Dear Webby
How difficult is it to set up PayPal buttons like you
have? I want to sell some wooden toys via an online
page.
Adam
Dear Adam
PayPal buttons are extremely difficult and intimidating,
until you actually get started.
Once you get started with them, and follow the
step by step instructions, it's easy.
You wonder what all the fuss was about.
As long as you have a PayPal account,
and a web site, there is really nothing difficult
about making a button.
To have buttons work with email is a different story.
Many email programs can't handle that. So for email,
just send people to your site.
That makes it very easy and straight forward.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Back Scrubber For Washing Feet
I keep a back brush that I purchased for a dollar at
the dollar store in my shower, and use it to clean my
heels and toes. A light scrubbing with it exfoliates and
keeps calluses from forming. It's much easier than
bending over to clean my feet.
By Ginny from Murrells Inlet, SC
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been recommending since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
>From Connie
Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to
add a touch of my home state, Kansas, to the wedding. My
fiancee, explaining this to a friend, said that we were
planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the
ceremony.
Our friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly,
"It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A Sunday school teacher asked her students why they had
to be quiet during the Church service.
One bright little girl replied
"Because the people are sleeping.
Today, March 21, in
1349 3,000 Jews were killed in Black Death riots in
Erfurt Germany.
1556 Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, was
burned at the stake at Oxford after retracting the
last of seven recantations that same day.
1788 Almost the entire city of New Orleans, LA, was
destroyed by fire. 856 buildings were destroyed.
1804 The French civil code, the Code Napoleon, was adopted.
1824 A fire at a Cairo ammunitions dump killed 4,000 horses.
1851 Yosemite Valley was discovered in California.
1857 An earthquake hit Tokyo killing about 107,000.
1908 A passenger was carried in a bi-plane for the
first time by Henri Farman of France.
1909 Russia withdrew its support for Serbia and recognized
the Austrian annexation of Bosnia-Herzegovina. Serbia
accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-Herzegovina on
March 31, 1909.
1945 During World War II, Allied bombers began four days
of raids over Germany.
1963 Alcatraz Island, the federal penitentiary in
San Francisco Bay, CA, closed.
1971 Two U.S. platoons in Vietnam refused orders to advance.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced to the U.S.
Olympic Team that they would not participate in the
1980 Summer Games in Moscow as a boycott against Soviet
intervention in Afghanistan.
1982 The United States, U.K. and other Western countries
condemned the Soviet intervention in Afghanistan.
1984 A Soviet submarine crashed into the USS Kitty Hawk
off the coast of Japan.
1985 Larry Flynt offered to sell his pornography empire
for $26 million or "Hustler" magazine alone for $18 million.
1989 Randall Dale Adams was released from a Texas prison
after his conviction was overturned. The documentary
"The Thin Blue Line" had challenged evidence of Adams'
conviction for killing a police officer.
1994 Dudley Moore was arrested for hitting his girlfriend.
1994 Bill Gates of Microsoft and Craig McCaw of McCaw Cellular
Communications announced a $9 billion plan that would send
840 satellites into orbit to relay information around the globe.
1999 Israel's Supreme Court rejected the final effort to have
American Samuel Sheinbein returned to the U.S. to face
murder charges for killing Alfred Tello, Jr. Under a
plea bargain Sheinbein was sentenced to 24 years in prison.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 361 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 544 )
Wednesday, March 20, 2013, 10:12 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, March 20.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion
for old age.
--- Christopher Morley (1890 - 1957)
In this life you sometimes have to choose
Between pleasing God and pleasing man.
In the long run it's better to please God.
He's more apt to remember.
--- Pat Dickerson
Son, always tell the truth. Then you'll never have to
remember what you said the last time.
--- Sam Rayburn (1882 - 1961)
A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend.
"It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend
observed. "But didn't you tell me you were planning to visit
Colorado?"
"Well," the husband said, "we changed our plans because, uh..."
His wife cut in, "Oh, tell the truth, Fred!"
He fell silent and she continued, "You know, it's just
ridiculous. Fred simply will not ask for directions."
-----------
And Fred obviously does not use MapQuest !
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A. Don't worry. Your secrets are safe.
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Eran Hess, 44, Tel Aviv, Israel
Israeli jailed for fake bomb scare at airport
Reported by Ann
An Israeli tourist set off a massive security panic at
Newark Airport and grounded a plane to Miami yesterday
after his family was bumped from a flight and he angrily
threatened to create a bomb scare, officials said.
Eran Hess was charged with “creating a false public alarm”
after he allegedly flew into a rage at a United Airlines
counter and started a chain of events that put security
on high alert and delayed travelers for hours.
The trouble started at about 9 a.m. after Hess, 44, arrived
from Tel Aviv with his wife and two kids and was told that
his connecting flight to Florida was oversold and that they
would be on the next plane, and that their luggage was checked
through automatically and already on the plane.
Apparently he screamed: “I’m going to go over there and tell
the TSA I put a bomb in my bag and get my bag back.”
After that, Hess and family disappeared into the crowd.
Naturally, those words set off an automatic alarm.
The plane, that the bages were on was stopped, emptied
and searched, and all bags were sniffed.
Hess was located a few gates away, trying to board a plane
of a different airline. He was arrested and hauled away.
He will probably be released after his return flight to
Israel has left.
------------
It has happened to me many times, that my luggage arrived by
a different plane. When asking at the lost luggage counter
for my luggage, they ALWAYS asked:"Has your plane arrived yet?"
"No, ya silly bimbo. I am still up in the air, I just sent
my body on ahead. Can't you tell?"
Then they finally looked it up in their messages, and told
me that my luggage would be at carousel #whatever in a few
minutes, or had arrived already at some other carousel#.
Not a big deal, and since they always made me laugh with
the same idiotic question, no matter which airport, I have
always looked at it as a joke. Nothing to get upset about.
Tech Support Pits
From: Sharon
Re: Record radio to CD
Dear Webby
I love the news & fun. It's usually the 1st mail I open in
this box.
Some of your tech questions & answers have been very
helpful. Thanks so much. I have a question about listneing
to radio online. I have a program I usually tape off my reg
radio that comes on every day at the same hour. If for some
reason I do not get it I can go the the site online & listend
to it again.
Is there a way to tape this broadcast onto a cd? If so
how mucht time will usually fit on 1 cd.I am using cd-rw
that say 700mb & 80 min. Does this mean i can get
1hr +20 min on 1 cd?
I appreciate your help on this.
Thanks again, Sharon
Dear Sharon
If you compress the audio to MP3 or MP4, you will get
a lot more than 80 minute's worth onto CD, and probably
a month's worth of that brodcast onto a DVD.
Use a program like Audacity to record the broadcast,
save it as MP3 or MP4, and when you got a bunch of those
recordings ready, drag them to a CD or DVD.
You can add your own comments at the begin or end of each
day's recording, and also name each file descritively.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keeping Track of Paint Can Opener
I attach a can opener, to the end of a
paintbrush, that is removable. This makes
things so much more simple instead of
searching for the opener every time.
By lnygaard
I got mine tied to the step ladder with a shoe lace.
Even if I don't need the stepladder for the painting,
it is easy enough to find.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been recommending since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
Anecdotes of a Washington DC area travel agent,
who thinks she understands from these
anecdotes why we are having problems in the US.
I've been a Travel Agent for thirty Years.
Following are examples of why our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near
the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Cape Town, I started to explain the length of the flight and
the passport information, then she interrupted me with,
"I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Cape town is
in Massachusetts,"
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly explained,
"Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape town is in Africa,"
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view
room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in
the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked
on the map and Florida is a very thin state!
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible
to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, “But they
look so close on the map."
5 An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he
could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation,
I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked
him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was
a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to
save time."
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed
to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at
8:30 am and got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that
Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the
plane went fast, she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose
luggage belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they
put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight.
I think that's very rude!"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I ‘looked into it'
(I was laughing) I came back and explained the city code
for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a
destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package
to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,
"Would it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the
train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman
who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked
him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told
my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes
have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed
a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never
had to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa
when I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four
times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations,
“I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are
you sure that's the name of the town?"
Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma’am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and
can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where
it is. Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.
Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A vacationer called a seaside hotel in England to ask its
location.
"It's only a stone's throw away from the beach," he was told.
"But how will I recognize it?" asked the man.
Back came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."
Today, March 20, in
0141 The 6th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
1413 Henry V took the throne of England upon the death of
his father Henry IV.
1525 Paris' parliament began its pursuit of Protestants.
1616 Walter Raleigh was released from Tower of London
to seek gold in Guyana.
1627 France & Spain signed an accord for fighting
Protestantism.
1739 In India, Nadir Shah of Persia occupied Delhi and
took possession of the Peacock throne.
1760 The great fire of Boston destroyed 349 buildings.
1792 In Paris, the Legislative Assembly approved
the use of the guillotine.
1800 French army defeated the Turks at Helipolis,
Turkey, and advanced into Cairo.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte entered Paris after his escape
from Elba and began his "Hundred Days" rule.
1852 Harriet Beecher Stowe’s book "Uncle Tom’s Cabin,"
subtitled "Life Among the Lowly," was first published.
1868 Jesse James Gang robbed a bank in Russelville, KY,
of $14,000.
1885 John Matzeliger of Suriname patented shoe lacing machine.
1886 The first US AC power plant began commercial operation.
1891 The first computing scale company was incorporated
in Dayton, OH.
1896 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to protect U.S.
citizens in the wake of a revolution.
1918 The Bolsheviks of the Soviet Union asked for
American aid to rebuild their army.
1922 U.S. President Warren G. Harding ordered U.S.
troops back from the Rhineland.
1922 The USS Langley was commissioned. It was the first
aircraft carrier for the U.S. Navy.
1932 The German dirigible, Graf Zepplin, made the first
flight to South America on regular schedule.
1933 The first German concentration camp was completed at Dachau.
1934 Rudolf Kuhnold gave a demonstration of radar in Kiel Germany.
1940 The British Royal Air Force conducted an all-night air
raid on the Nazi airbase at Sylt, Germany.
1943 The Allies attacked Field Marshall Erwin Rommel's forces
on the Mareth Line in North Africa.
1947 A blue whale weighing 180-metric tons was caught
in the South Atlantic.
1956 Mount Bezymianny on Kamchatka Peninsula (USSR) exploded.
1956 Tunisia gained independence from France.
1969 U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy called on the U.S. to
close all bases in Taiwan.
1976 Patricia Hearst was convicted of armed robbery for
her role in the hold up of a San Francisco Bank.
1981 Argentine ex-president Isabel Peron was sentenced
to eight years in a convent.
1984 The U.S. Senate rejected an amendment to permit
spoken prayer in public schools.
1985 Libby Riddles won the 1,135-mile Anchorage-to-Nome
dog race becoming the first woman to win the Iditarod.
1990 Imelda Marcos, widow of ex-Philippines dictator
Ferdinand Marcos, went on trial for racketeering,
embezzlement and bribery.
1991 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously that employers
could not exclude women from jobs where exposure to
toxic chemicals could potentially damage a fetus.
1991 The U.S. forgave $2 billion in loans to Poland.
1995 About 35,000 Turkish troops crossed the northern border
of Iraq in pursuit of the separatist rebels of the
Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK).
1995 In Tokyo, 12 people were killed and more than 5,500
others were sickened when packages containing the nerve
gas Sarin was released on five separate subway trains.
The terrorists belonged to a doomsday cult in Japan.
1998 India's new Hindu nationalist-led government pledges to
"exercise the option to induct nuclear weapons."
2002 Actress Pamela Anderson disclosed that she had hepatitis C.
2002 Arthur Andersen pled innocent to charges that it had
shredded documents and deleted computer files related to
the energy company Enron.
2003 U.S. and British forces invaded Iraq from Kuwait.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 1029 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 638 )
Tuesday, March 19, 2013, 09:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, March 19.
Hillary kicked off her presidential campaign by getting all
the divorce lawyers on her side with a carefully crafted
and meticulously rehearsed speech in favor of same sex
marriage. It sounded really phony compared to Madonna's
speech on the same topic, even though Madonna was dressed
in a thilly Boy Scout uniform.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
--- Slovenian Proverb
Love truth, and pardon error.
--- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
>From Kim
I was very pregnant, and it was rotten luck when,
several days before my due date, my husband fell
from the porch roof, sprained both ankles and was
restricted to crutches. So when I went into labor and he couldn't drive, I took the wheel, stopping every time
I had a contraction.
Finally, we got to the hospital. I dropped him at the
maternity entrance, and he hobbled off to the admitting
desk, where the nurse told him to go to the emergency room.
"No, it's my wife," he told her. "She's in Labor."
"Where is she?" the nurse asked.
"She's parking the car and bringing in the bags."
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she
sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees
the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a
rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams,
"Will you knock off the Peeping Tom routine?
I'm trying to poop!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Rachelle Braaten, 24, and Tyler Lee, 25 in Centralia, WA
Couple Jailed After Video Shows Mother
Letting Toddler Inhale Bong Hit
Rachelle Braaten, 24, and Tyler Lee, 25, were jailed after
they allegedly forced their 22-month-old son to smoke
marijuana out of a bong.
According to Centralia police, an investigation was launched
after detectives received a cell phone video from an
anonymous witness that showed a mother placing a smoke
filled marijuana bong up to her child's face, so that he
could inhale from it.
Investigators say the room erupted in laughter after the
toddler began coughing from the smoke.
Police took the child's parents into custody at their
residence. A search of the residence turned up 40 marijuana
plants and several firearms.
The toddler, as well as his 5-year-old brother, were removed
from the residence and placed into protective custody.
During a police interview, Lee admitted to selling marijuana
to a dispensary, but denied being at the residence when the
video was recorded.
Braaten was booked into the Lewis County Jail and charged
with manufacture of marijuana and delivery of a controlled
substance to a minor. Her bail was set at $20,000.
Lee was booked into jail and charged with unlawful possession
of a firearm (because he is a convicted felon) and
manufacturing marijuana. He was released on Monday.
Tech Support Pits
From: Anna
Re: Russian spam
Dear Webby
I got a whole bunch of addresses, and I am getting
phony CNN Headline News to each of them.
The underlying URL to click on is some Russian domain.
There are no Cyrillic characters in the spam, so the
filter I got from you, does not catch it.
How do I catch it?
Anna
Dear Anna
Yes, I got those silly spams too.
What is common with all of them is
.ru/
part of the URL of some Russian attack site.
If you don't expect any legitimate mail from Russia,
simply filter for that.
In Mailwasher you make a filter like this:
ANY Rule below
IF the entire header CONTAINS .ru/
IF the body of the email CONTAINS .ru/
then mark it for deleting
automatically.
After you make that filter, you will never see a spam
with a hidden Russian URL again. That filter does not care
wether the URL is visible or hidden. Either way it opens
the trap-door to hell.
Now I have to modify that filter and make it make an exception
for mail from humor@webby.com, otherwise it would dump my
test copy of the Humor Letter too.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Buy Cookie Cutters at the Thrift Store
Brand new cookie cutters can be quite expensive.
The reality is that many people purchase cutters
and then don't use them. Quite often you can
find cookie cutters at the thrift store that
are like new. The best part is that they are
sold at a fraction of the original price. We
recently found a large bag full of cookie
cutters for $5.99 at Goodwill! It is well
worth looking the next time you need cookie
cutters.
By lalala...
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been advocating since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with
a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" he asked.
"Nah." was the reply.
A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk out of his
leg. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
the man said indignantly.
"That's not my dog." was the answer.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
I got this one from Roland many years ago
:
Ole is a farmer in Minnesota.
He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one
for sale over in Nordakota (that would be 'North Dakota'
for you non-Scandahoovians out there).
He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.
Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs
the teat and pulls...the cow farts.
Ole is very surprised.
He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches
under the cow to try again.
He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.
Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with
the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take
it home.
When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor,
Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new
cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens."
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.
Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in
Nordakota, didn't yah?"
Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his
trip.
Ole replies, "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?"
Sven says, "My wife is from Nordakota."
Today, March 19, in
0721 -BC- 1st recorded lunar eclipse; Location, Babylon
1452 Frederick III of Hapsburg crowned Roman German Emperor
1571 Spanish troops occupied Manila.
1628 The Massachusetts colony was founded by Englishmen.
1644 200 members of the Peking imperial family/court
committed suicide.
1687 French explorer La Salle was murdered by his own men
while searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River
1748 The English Naturalization Act passed granting Jews
right to colonize in the U.S.
1831 The first bank robbery in America was reported. The City Bank
of New York City lost $245,000 in the robbery.
1866 The immigrant ship Monarch of the Seas sank in Liverpool
killing 738.
1900 Archeologist Arthur John Evans began the excavation of
Knossos Palace in Greece.
1903 The U.S. Senate ratified the Cuban treaty, gaining naval
bases in Guantanamo and Bahia Honda.
1918 The U.S. Congress approved Daylight-Saving Time.
1918 A German seaplane was shot down for the first time by
an American pilot.
1924 U.S. troops were rushed to Tegucigalpa as rebel forces
took the Honduran capital.
1931 The state of Nevada legalized gambling.
1945 About 800 people were killed as Japanese kamikaze planes
attacked the U.S. carrier Franklin off Japan.
1945 Adolf Hitler issued his "Nero Decree" which ordered the
destruction of German facilities that could fall into Allied
hands as German forces were retreating.
1947 Chiang Kai-Shek's government forces took control of Yenan,
the former headquarters of the Chinese Communist Party.
1954 The first rocket-driven sled that ran on rails was
tested in Alamogordo, NM.
1963 In Costa Rica, U.S. President John F. Kennedy and six
Latin American presidents pledged to fight Communism.
1965 Indonesia nationalized all foreign oil companies.
1969 British invaded Anguilla.
1984 A Mobile oil tanker spilled 200,000 gallons into
the Columbia River.
1985 IBM announced that it was planning to stop making the
PCjr consumer-oriented computer.
1985 The U.S. Senate voted to authorize production of
the MX missile.
1987 Televangelist Jim Bakker resigned from the PTL due to a
scandal involving Jessica Hahn.
1988 Two British soldiers were killed by mourners at a
funeral in Belfast, North Ireland.
1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000 eggs
in Yokohama, Japan.
2001 California officials declared a power alert and ordered
the first of two days of rolling blackouts.
2003 U.S. President George W. Bush announced that U.S. forces
had launched a strike against "targets of military opportunity"
in Iraq. The attack, using cruise missiles and precision-guided
bombs, were aimed at Iraqi leaders thought to be near Baghdad.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 776 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 673 )
Monday, March 18, 2013, 09:17 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Mpnday, March 18.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
--- Abbie Hoffman (1936 - 1989)
The real problem is not whether machines think,
but whether men do.
--- B. F. Skinner
On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage.
The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no 'I' in the word 'marriage.'''
The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."
No Turbo-Tomatoes or High Speed lettuce?
OK, fine. If you change your mind, tell me.
Eat deserts to lose weight!
Scientifically Proven.
Get three free recipes just for checking it out.
Eat Deserts!
A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach
contemplating how badly screwed up she got, getting all
woried over getting the most in the divorce settlement,
when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore.
She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!!
The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles
to him.
As a consolation, the genie informs that he will give her
three wishes. But, he cautions her that because he does
not believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten
times the amount of whatever she wishes.
The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly
fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish was for
a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds
herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar bills.
The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the
recipient of 10 billion dollars. The woman can barely
contain her anger when she makes her second wish.
The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore
of her own private beach.
In an instant it was granted, but the genie then reminds
again that her ex-husband now owns ten of what she wished
for, and points down the beach to a small development of
ten such mansions.
Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate
her last wish.
Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman
informs the genie that she wants to make the last wish.
But, before she can do this, the genie again warns her that
her ex-husband will get ten times what she wishes for.
No problem, said the woman as she grinned in estasy.
For my last wish...
"I'd like to give birth to twins".
"Ok....." the genie says.
As she is wheelbarreling the dollar bills into the spacious
garage, her belly is swelling up with twins.
Then the genie comes back.
"Since your ex is a male, he can't bear and deliver twins.
So you will bear and deliver them over the next ten years.
Those ten sets of twins, however, unlike your previous
three kids, will be his."
Thanks to dad for these pictures:
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Natisha Hillard, 24, Gary, Indiana
Christopher Bour, 39, Hammond, Indiana
Natisha Hillard Was The Baby Maker,
Chris Bour Was The Baby Raper
Gary, Indiana (The Weekly Vice) - Natisha Hillard, 24,
Indiana female, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly
sold her 1-year-old daughter to a sexual predator - who
then used the baby girl to make child pornography.
According to Federal Prosecutors, an investigation was
launched on February 13 after a woman came forward to
report that an acquaintance, identified as 39-year-old
Christopher Bour, had sent her graphic text messages that
boasted about his alleged intentions to sexually abuse
a baby.
Two of the text messages reportedly said in context
"U wanna watch me play with a baby tomorrow a real one ;)"
and "I get a chance once in a while I was just seeing if
you would hold the camera."
The witness told detectives that she had seen child porn
movies on Bour's laptop computer during visits to his home.
She also stated that Bour had expressed an interest in
"animal love" during prior conversations she had with him.
At this point, according to court documents, investigators
assumed the identity of the woman and continued chatting
with Bour.
When investigators asked Bour if the child's mother was
aware of his activities with the child, Bour responded that
she approved of them and that he had done it before.
During a lengthy text message chat, Bour described his lust
for children and what he liked to do with them sexually.
"Its the best sex I ever had," Bour reportedly stated in
another message.
FBI agents, who had to be crawling out of their skin at
this point, raided Bour's home in Hammond and seized his
computer. During a search of his computer, investigators
found videos and photographs of adults having sex with
pre-pubescent children on the computer's hard drive.
The computer also contained "numerous images depicting
Bour engaged in various sexual acts with an infant female,"
according to court documents.
Hillard, the child's mother, is also shown in some of the
images.
During questioning, Bour stated that his text messages were
nothing more than fantasy role playing and that he never
intended to have sexual contact with a child.
When agents confronted him with the photographs they found
on his computer, he realized that his ass was in a sling
and admitted to paying Hillard for the opportunity to
sexually abuse and then exploit her baby daughter.
Hillard was booked into jail and charged with
"selling her child with the knowledge that she would be
portrayed in a visual depiction assisting another person
to engage in sexually explicit conduct."
Bour was booked into jail and charged with production of
child pornography, purchasing a child for the production
of child pornography, and possession of child pornography.
Both are being held without bond.
They just might throw away the key.
Tech Support Pits
From: Frank
Re: Firefox Session Manager
Dear Webby
I use a Firefox plugin called SessionManager.
Once installed, I've configured it to save my
session periodically and on shutdown
(voluntary or crash) and then prompt me whether
to reload my previous (or another) session when
I restart FireFox.
Regards
Frank
Thanks, Frank!
I will try it out.
Save My Tabs works, but is rather klutzy.
Unfortunately, just like Save My Tabs, due to a lack of
donations, Session Manager is no longer updated, and
does not seem to cope too well with some functions,
that are nowadays handled by FireFox itself.
For example, Adele's problem yesterday was not lost tabs,
she manually killed each and every one of them. Her problem
was that she had squished down FireFox to icon size in a
corner, where she did not expect it or look for it.
Closing and re-opening it just re-opened it the same way
in that corner.
Once she got my message, found it and stretched it back
to half screen size, Session Manager probably would have
helped her selecting a previous day's session and restore
all her tabs.
I installed Session Manager and will report on it in a
few months.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Dress Up Plain Shoes
If you have clip on earrings, they are great to dress up
plain toed shoes. Just clip them on where you slip your
foot into the shoe. You now have a pair of glamorous
shoes that would ordinarily be plain. You can get clip
on earrings at a lot of garage sales.
By chef4u from Sylvania, OH
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you!
Solar Water Heat
This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of
your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater,
like I have been advocating since the 70's.
When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with
the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top
it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are
used to.
The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that
system even in the Yukon. It works.
You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find
components. For the glazing you can even use clear
corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows.
The glazing is never touched by the water, it just
holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house
for the pipe and outer tank.
Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!
>From Liz
My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the
first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in
a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.
He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more
space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down,
only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the
patio level.
He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following
morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.
Observing all this, our next-door neighbor asked, "Ray, are
you going to put your patio away every night?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A beautiful young woman is getting dressed for work one
morning in her high-rise apartment building. She glances
out her fiftieth-story bedroom window and sees a window
washer outside.
Thinking she will rattle him, she slowly takes off her dress.
The window washer just goes about the business of cleaning
the windows.
Next, she removes her slip in a very provocative manner.
Still, the man just keeps working away.
Taking her striptease to the full extent, she takes off her
bra and panties and begins parading around her room.
The window washer still takes no notice of her.
Finally, the woman walks over to the window and just stands
there, totally naked, staring at the man outside her window.
At last the window washer puts down his pail and says,
"What's the matter, lady, haven't you ever seen a window
washer before?"
Today, March 18, in
0037 The Roman Senate annuls Tiberius’ will and
proclaims Caligula emperor.
1190 Crusaders killed 57 Jews in Bury St. Edmonds England.
1532 The English parliament banned payments by English church to Rome.
1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood of
the Mississippi River.
1673 Lord Berkley sold his half of New Jersey to the Quakers.
1813 David Melville patented the gas streetlight.
1818 The U.S. Congress approved the first pensions for
government service.
1834 The first railroad tunnel in the U.S. was completed.
The work was in Pennsylvania.
1850 Henry Wells & William Fargo founded American Express.
1891 Britain became linked to the continent of Europe by telephone.
1899 Phoebe, a moon of the planet Saturn, was discovered.
1902 In Turkey, the Sultan granted a German syndicate the first
concession to access Baghdad by rail.
1903 France dissolved the Catholic religious orders.
1911 Theodore Roosevelt opened the Roosevelt Dam in Arizona.
1916 Russia countered the Verdun assault with an attack at
Lake Naroch. The Russians lost 100,000 men and the
Germans lost 20,000.
1917 The Germans sank the U.S. ships, City of Memphis,
Vigilante and the Illinois, without any warning.
1921 Poland was enlarged with the second Peace of Riga.
1921 The steamer "Hong Koh" ran aground off of Swatow China.
Over 1,000 people were killed.
1931 Schick Inc. displayed the first electric shaver.
1937 More than 400 people, mostly children, were killed in a
gas explosion at a school in New London, TX.
1938 Mexico took control of all foreign-owned oil properties
on its soil.
1938 New York first required serological blood tests of
pregnant women.
1940 The soap opera "Light of the World" was first heard on NBC radio.
1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini held a meeting at the
Brenner Pass. The Italian dictator agreed to join in Germany's
war against France and Britain during the meeting.
1942 The third military draft began in the U.S. because of
World War II.
1943 The Reich called off its offensive in Caucasus.
1943 American forces took Gafsa in Tunisia.
1944 The Russians reached the Rumanian border World War II.
1945 1,250 U.S. bombers attacked Berlin.
1950 Nationalist troops landed on the mainland of China
and capture Communist held Sungmen.
1952 In Philadelphia, PA, the first plastic lenses were
fitted for a cataract patient.
1954 RKO Pictures was sold for $23,489,478. It became the first
motion picture studio to be owned by an individual:Howard Hughes.
1963 The U.S. Supreme Court handed down the Miranda decision
concerning legal council for defendants.
1965 Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov became the first man to spacewalk
when he left the Voskhod II space capsule while in orbit around
the Earth. He was outside the spacecraft for about 20 minutes.
1966 Scott Paper began selling paper dresses for $1.
1968 The U.S. Congress repealed the requirement for a gold reserve.
1969 U.S. President Nixon authorizes Operation Menue. It was the
‘secret’ bombing of Cambodia.
1971 U.S. helicopters airlifted 1,000 South Vietnamese soldiers
out of Laos.
1974 Most of the Arab oil-producing nations ended their
five-month embargo against the United States, Europe and Japan.
1975 Saigon abandoned most of the Central Highlands of Vietnam
to Hanoi.
1975 The Kurds ended their fight against Iraq.
1979 Iranian authorities detained American feminist Kate Millett.
The next day she was deported.
1980 A Vostok rocket exploded on the launch pad killing 50.
1981 The U.S. disclosed that there were biological weapons
tested in Texas in 1966.
1986 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Prince Andrew
to Sarah Ferguson.
1989 A 4,400-year-old mummy was discovered at the Pyramid of Cheops
1990 The first free elections took place in East Germany.
1992 Leona Hemsly was sentenced to 4 years in prison for tax evasion.
1992 White South Africans voted for constitutional reforms that
would give legal equality to blacks.
1994 Zsa Zsa Gabor filed for bankruptcy.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 821 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 647 )
FireFox disappeared after power failure. How do I get FireFox back?
Sunday, March 17, 2013, 04:56 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, March 17.
Happy St Patricks Day
Stay off the roads today, if you can!
A lot of people think St patrick's Day is a legitimate
excuse for getting plastered.
Sorry about the newsletter being late. We had a
whole bunch of power failures, and of course the net
did not work.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
England and America are two countries
separated by a common language.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
Man is ready to die for an idea,
provided that idea is not quite clear to him.
--- Paul Eldridge
>From Phil
Friday, we had a tornado drill. We're underneath a parking
garage and there's a PA announcement
"This is a tornado drill.
Please move quickly away from any and all windows."
Somebody yelled out: "Quick, get to a DOS prompt!"
Turbo-Tomatoes! High Speed lettuce!
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
A business executive injured his leg skiing one
weekend. By the time he got home Saturday,
the leg was very swollen and he was having
difficulty walking, so he called his physician at
his home. The doctor told him to soak it in hot
water. He tried soaking it in hot water but the leg
became more swollen and painful.
His maid saw him limping and said, "I don't know,
I'm only a maid, but I always thought it was better
to use cold water, not hot, for swelling." He tried
switching to cold water, and the swelling rapidly
subsided.
On Sunday afternoon he called his Dr. again to
complain. "Say Doc, what kind of a doctor are you
anyway? You told me to soak my leg in hot water,
and it got worse. My maid told me to use cold water
and it got better."
"Really?!?" answered the doctor, "I don't understand
it. MY maid said hot water."
Thanks to dad for these pictures:
Click on the picture for the large version
Early Easter Cactus 2013
Still snow outside
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Misty VanHorn, 22, Sallisaw, Oklahoma
Jailed After She Tried To Sell Two Children
Misty VanHorn, a 22-year-old Oklahoma woman, was jailed after
she allegedly tried to sell her two children to a woman on
Facebook in an attempt to raise money for her boyfriend's bail.
According to Sallisaw Police, an investigation was launched
after a Fort Smith woman called the Oklahoma Department of
Human Services and reported that a woman had contacted her
over Facebook and was attempting to sell her two children.
Investigators say VanHorn offered to sell her 2-year-old
child for $1,000 and her 10-month old child for $4,000.
Oklahoma DHS officials turned the case over to Sallisaw
Police, who located VanHorn and took her into custody
without incident.
When officers asked VanHorn why she was trying to sell her
children, she stated that she needed money to bail her
boyfriend out of jail. Witnesses who lived in VanHorn's
neighborhood stated that she had been knocking on her
neighbors' doors in an attempt to raise cash for his bail.
"She was going door to door, here to all the way across
town asking everybody for money to get him out," said
Tony Mosby, who lives in VanHorn's neighborhood.
VanHorn was booked into the Sequoyah County Jail and
charged with child trafficking. She remains held in
lieu of $40,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Adele
Re: Firefox disappeared after power failure
Dear Webby
The power failures tonight, I am sure you were affected
too, ate my FireFox!
I know I probably had too many tabs of sites, that I was
planning to check out later, when I get some time, but
I am sure there were fewer than 100.
You are probably laughing your fool head off, but that's
the way I operate.
Anyway, after those erratic power failures FireFox has
become invisible. The AccuRadio.com Internet radio still
works, at full volume, and hovering over the FF icon in the task bar shows ll the open tabs.
When I could not get anywhere, I loboriously closed all
of them, to start a totally fresh FF, still no luck.
How do I get my FF back?
Adele
Dear Adele
Yes, I had the same power failures too.
You might have had a spastic reaction to the power failures,
thrown the mouse, or maybe the power failures did it,
and shrunk your FF to the size of your huge icons and left
it in a corner.
Have a close look at all the icons on your desktop.
Most likely one of them is not an icon, but your FireFox
shrunk down to the size of a thumbnail.
Gently grab one of it's sides, and drag it back
to the size you like.
Then find the "Save My Tabs" data file,
find one from before the power failure,
import it into Excel, hit F2 and ENTER on each line
to make it clickable, and then re-open all the tabs,
that you are stil interested in.
We just had another one of those power failures.
Power is back on, the net isn't yet. I sure hope
it comes back on before daylight, so that I can send
the nesletters out!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Chives for Quick and Easy Flowers
for the Table
Picture graduation time and a house of boys.
No fancy table decorations. Just the cake and then
a quick run out to the herb garden to pick a bouquet
of flowering chives. Beautiful purple blossoms on
green stems.
By Grandma J
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
Having been married ten years and still living in an
apartment, Sarah would often complain about anything,
as she was tired of saving every penny to buy a
"dream home".
Trying to placate her, the husband found a new apartment,
within their budget. However, after the first week,
she began complaining again.
"Joel," she said, "I don't like this place at all. There
are no curtains in the bathroom. The neighbors can see me
every time I take a bath."
"Don't worry." replied her husband. "If the neighbors
do see you, they'll buy curtains."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A man had fallen between the rails in a subway station.
People were all crowding around trying to get him out before
the train ran him over. They were all shouting.
"Give me your hand!" but the man would not reach up.
Ralph elbowed his way through the crowd and leaned
over the man. "Friend," he asked, "what is your profession?"
"I am an income tax inspector," gasped the man.
"In that case," said Ralph, "take my hand!"
The man immediately grasped Ralph's hand and was hauled
to safety and a lengthy accident related delay was safely
avoided.
Ralph turned to the amazed by-standers.
"Never ask a tax man to *give* you anything,
you fools."
Today, March 17, in
0461 - Bishop Patrick, St. Patrick, died in Saul.
Ireland celebrates this day in his honor.
1756 St. Patrick's Day was celebrated in New York City
for the first time. The event took place at the
Crown and Thistle Tavern.
1776 British forces evacuated Boston to Nova Scotia during
the Revolutionary War.
1884 In Otay, California, John Joseph Montgomery made the
first manned, controlled, heavier-than-air glider
flight in the United States.
1891 The British steamer Utopia sank off the coast of
Gibraltar.
1914 Russia increased the number of active duty military
from 460,000 to 1,700,000.
1930 Al Capone was released from jail.
1944 During World War II, the U.S. bombed Vienna
back to the stone age.
1950 Scientists at the University of California at Berkeley
announced that they had created a new radioactive element.
They named it "californium". It is also known as
Element 98.
1958 The Vanguard 1 satellite was launched by the U.S.
1959 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso)
fled Tibet and went to India.
1961 The U.S. increased military aid and technicians to Laos.
1962 Moscow asked the U.S. to pull out of South Vietnam.
1966 A U.S. submarine found a missing H-bomb in the
Mediterranean off of Spain.
1970 The U.S. Army charged 14 officers with suppression of
facts in the My Lai massacre case.
1972 U.S. President Nixon asked Congress to halt busing in
order to achieve desegregation.
1973 The first American prisoners of war (POWs) were released
from the "Hanoi Hilton" in Hanoi, North Vietnam.
1985 U.S. President Reagan agreed to a joint study with
Canada on acid rain.
1989 A series of solar flares caused a violent magnetic storm
that brought power outages over large regions of Canada.
1992 White South Africans approved constitutional
reforms to give legal equality to blacks.
1999 A panel of medical experts concluded that marijuana had
medical benefits for people suffering from cancer
and AIDS.
2000 In Kanungu, Uganda, a fire at a church linked to the
cult known as the Movement for the Restoration of the
Ten Commandments killed more than 530. On March 31,
officials set the number of deaths linked to the cult
at more than 900 after authorities subsequently found
mass graves at various sites linked to the cult.
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 800 million applications
downloaded.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 677 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 619 )
Make windows 7 show file name extensions
Saturday, March 16, 2013, 12:22 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, March 16.
How do they make the white or black smoke in the papal
election?
White smoke is from the ballot papers and some socks.
Black smoke is from the ballots and some sneakers.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
--- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642)
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning
coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio.
"There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency
has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered
side of the streets."
Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Well, okay."
Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their
cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is,
"There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow
emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on
the even numbered side of the streets.
"Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Well, okay."
Three days later, again they both are sitting down
with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is,
"There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow
emergency has been declared. You must park your cars
on the..."
and then the power went out and Ole didn't get the
rest of the instructions.
He says to Lena, "What am I going to do now, Lena?"
Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the car in the
garage."
Turbo-Tomatoes! High Speed lettuce!
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
Thanks to Jim for this story. The season is a bit off,
but by summer I would likely forget it.
An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat,
learning methods to counter offensive tactics. That
summer, the area had experienced an infestation of
rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given one
magazine of live ammunition to counter this danger,
as several men had already been bitten.
So much ammunition was expended shooting, supposedly,
at snakes that the post commander demanded that every
officer and NCO who had shot at a snake present the
dead snake as proof that the expenditure of rounds was
justifiable.
The next day, the post commander entered his office
and spotted a shoe box on his desk. He opened it,
revealing a very live rattlesnake. Inside the box
also were twenty expended cartridges, and a short
note. The note said, "I missed!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Dale Arave,
Drunk driver goes into Home Depot rampage
RIVERDALE, Utah — A drunk driver who smashed his truck into
sheds, a swing set and light post in a Home Depot parking
lot is facing multiple charges.
KSL-TV reports that Riverdale police arrested 38-year-old
Dale Arave on Wednesday. Part of Arave’s rampage was
videotaped by a shopper and later used as evidence by police.
Riverdale Police Lt. James Ebert says Arave refused to get
out of his truck after the vehicle hit a curb and became
high centered.
Arave is facing multiple charges, including criminal
mischief. Police found two handguns and three rifles
in this truck. All were loaded. None were used when he
resisted exiting the truck. Possibly he was just too
drunk to jump out of the truck as quickly as police
expected.
Arave says he drank large amounts of whiskey. His family
members say he is going through personal problems and is
despondent.
The damage to the store is estimate to be $20,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Inga
Re: Extensions hidden in W7
Dear Webby
I am used to seeing the file extensions in the Windows File
Explorer. How is that accomplished in Blonde Windoze?
Thanks
Inga
Dear Inga
Open the File Explorer
Click on Tools
Folder Options
View
and in there take off the checkmarks from
Hide Extensions for nown file types.
Then tell it to apply it to all folders.
Keep in mind, though, Internet shortcuts are stored like
files, but withut an extension. DUH!
If you got things set correctly, and still don't see
an extension, then it is either an Internet shortcut,
or a file without an extension.
While you are in there, sort by file type.
If you see a bunch of zip files in your email Attachment
directory, dump them. They are mal ware. Only scammers
and hackers send zip files by email.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Surprise Guests With Flowers in the Bathroom
Having a party? Give your guests something more to talk
about than the food and who did not show up. Surprise
them with a bathtub full of lilacs. They're fun and
inexpensive. They are in bloom just in time for graduation.
It will be a party to remember, I promise.
By Joanne from Fond du Lac, WI
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
Thanks to Big Frank for this Classic:
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when
he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and
tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes
of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits
the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go
of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified
parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter
addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most
gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really,
the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in
danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go
unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will
have this story on the front page.
So, what do you do for a living and what political
affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see
news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS
YOUNG AFRICAN IMMIGRANT
AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the
news these days.
Big Frank
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little
nervous and about ten minutes into the talk his mind went
blank. He remembered some advice they gave him in seminary
school when a situation like this arose -- repeat your last
point. Often this will help you remember what should come
next. So he gave it a try.
"Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank.
So he tried again, "Behold, I come quickly!" Still nothing.
He tried once more, this time with so much vehemence that he
tripped over his microphone wire and fell off the stage,
right into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.
The young preacher was very embarrassed and tried to apolo-
gize, but the woman replied, "That's all right, young man.
It was my fault...I should have gotten ready for you.
After all, you did tell me three times you were coming!"
Today, March 16, in
1190 The Crusaders began the massacre of Jews in York, England.
1521 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the
Philippines. He was killed the next month by natives.
1621 Samoset walked into the settlement of Plymouth Colony,
later Plymouth, MA. Samoset was a native from the Monhegan
tribe in Maine who spoke English. He greeted the Pilgrims
by saying, "Welcome, Englishmen! My name is Samoset."
1871 The State of Delaware enacted the first fertilizer law.
1907 The world's largest cruiser, the British Invincible was
completed at Glasgow.
1908 China released the Japanese steamship Tatsu Maru.
1909 Cuba suffered its first revolt only six weeks
after the inauguration of Gomez.
1926 Physicist Robert H. Goddard launched the first
liquid-fuel rocket.
1935 Adolf Hitler ordered a German rearmament and violated
the Versailles Treaty.
1939 Germany occupied the rest of Czechoslovakia.
1945 Iwo Jima was declared secure by the Allies.
However, small pockets of Japanese resistance still existed.
1947 Martial law was withdrawn in Tel Aviv.
1950 Congress voted to remove federal taxes on oleomargarine.
1968 U.S. troops in Vietnam destroyed a village consisting
mostly of women and children. The event is known as the
My-Lai massacre.
1993 In France, ostrich meat was officially declared fit
for human consumption.
1994 Tonya Harding pled guilty in Portland, OR, to conspiracy
to hinder prosecution for covering up the attack on
her skating rival Nancy Kerrigan. She was fined $100,000.
She was also banned from amateur figure skating.
1994 Russia agreed to slowly phase out production of
weapons-grade plutonium.
1998 Rwanda began mass trials for 1994 genocide with
125,000 suspects for 500,000 murders.
1999 The 20 members of the European Union's European Commission
announced their resignations amid allegations of corruption
and financial mismanagement.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 519 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 608 )
Limit printing to one page
Friday, March 15, 2013, 10:55 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, March 15.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
I found it hilarious how various wanna-be authorities
are predicting what the new pope is going to do.
They are all wrong.
Sure, he is originally an Italian, became a Jesuit, an
intellectual storm trooper, in germany, and became
very close to the Franciscan order and a bishop and
cardinal in South America.
However, he retired from all that, because he felt he was
too old.
What does all that sum up to?
As a former Italian he is not about to raise much of a fuss
about Mafia investments in the Vatican bank.
His youthful Jesuit passion for modernisation has mellowed
a long time ago and changed to Franciscan conservatism,
probably when he realized that fighting the inner circle of
old cardinals in Rome leads to nowhere.
He almost got elected last time, because he is so obedient
to the inner circle. He just helps the poor, and stays out
of hotheaded discussions about modern topics like condoms.
He lets others incur the wrath and the vetoes of the inner
circle. Even benedict didn't get anywhere trying to use logic.
He was told that the pope is the spokesman for the cabinet,
the back office, not the dictator.
That seems to be fine for Francis I.
I don't expect any fundamental changes while he is pope,
but I would be VERY surprised, if the long neglected
Franciscans and Grey Clares didn't get their funding
updated.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
It is well to remember that the entire universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
--- John Andrew Holmes
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive
to become old fools.
--- Doug Larson
A very elderly but bright-eyed gentleman, very well dressed,
hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel
smelling slightly of after shave, walks into an upscale
cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking
lady tricked out in a modest but very becoming cocktail
dress.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a
drink, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here
often?"
Turbo-Tomatoes! High Speed lettuce!
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you
have sex until you are blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when
you have been with your partner for a short time and you are
so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when
you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has
gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when
you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass
each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."
The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means
you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and
Nun at night.
The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. This is when you
cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and
screws you in front of everyone
And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called:
Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not
enough to live on.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Wendy Tucker, 56, Barnegat, NJ
Jailed after flashing security cameras
-- Police in New Jersey said they arrested a woman accused
of flashing her breasts to security cameras being monitored
by dispatchers.
Barnegat police said dispatchers saw Wendy Tucker, 56,
"get out of a car in the middle of Lexington Boulevard, pull
up her shirt and bra, exposing her breasts while facing
several security cameras" around 2 a.m. Wednesday, the
Asbury Park (N.J.) Press reported Tuesday.
Lt. Keith Germain said the video footage also depicts Tucker
"looking up at the cameras while extending her middle fingers
to the cameras."
Patrolman Michael Diblasi located Tucker's car and took her
into custody. Police said she was wanted on an outstanding
warrant from Atlantic County and was charged with an additional
count of lewdness.
Because of her relation to some higher-ups, they declined to
provide a mug shot. "The Raw Story" provided this picture,
which seems to be from a few years ago.
Tech Support Pits
From: Sammie
Re: Limit printing to a page
Dear Webby
Your trick with listing the files in a folder works great!
My problem is that when I print it, it usually leaks a few
lines over onto a second page. How can I stop that without
deleting any lines?
Thanks
Sammie
Dear Sammie
In the spreadsheet or word processor, hit
CTRL A to select All, or highlight everything
except for the headlines,
then change the font to a smaller font family, like
for example Calibri or Tunga, and maybe reduce the point
size.
Then make sure there are no fragments like calculations,
shopping lists or phone numbers further down.
If there are, and you want to keep them,
highlight just what you want to print,
then click on Print PreView.
Most likely it will now fit onto one page quite nicely.
When you print, make sure you select
Selection Only
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fixing a Slow Tub Drain
For slow drains in old houses, pour a bottle of bleach down
the tub drain once a month in the evening (every 5 weeks
for the bathroom sink). In the morning, heat up a tea
kettle and pour one gallon of water down the drain. Aim
for the drain (or use a funnel), so as not to crack
porcelain. This works only on slow drains.
Source: Frugal Village
By duckie-do from Cortez, CO
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
This one is attributed to melvin Durai, but probably has
been edited over the years.
I've been watching the reports from China, the ones about
the gender imbalance and all those young men having trouble
finding brides, and I can't help wondering what their
parents and others were thinking when they chose, through
abortion and abandonment, to avoid having female children.
Perhaps they thought they could provide other options to
their sons.
Son: "My dear parents, I am ready to get married. Please
help me find a bride."
Mother: "You are ready to get married already? But my son,
you are only 50. Can't you wait a few more years?"
Father: "Your mother speaks with the wisdom of age, son. If
you wait a few more years, there will be more brides
available. The government is opening special laboratories to
create more females. It is a process called cloning."
Son: "But they are cloning sheep. I do not want to marry a
sheep."
Mother: "Son, you are 50. You cannot be too choosy."
Father: "Your mother speaks with the wisdom of age, son. You
should look at the positive side: A sheep has plenty of
wool. It will keep you warm at night."
Son: "No, I can't do it. I can't settle for anything but a
human."
Father: "You have high standards, son. But we expected this.
That is why we've made arrangements to introduce you to
someone special."
Son: "Someone special? Is this really true, Father?"
Father: "Yes, it's true, son. We will introduce you to a
special inspector named Ying-Ming. He is looking for a
companion too."
Son: "Did you say 'he'? I hope you meant to say 'she'!"
Father: "He, she, what's the difference? Together, you will
still be 'we.' Ying-Ming is very rich, son. While most
Chinese men have been busy searching for brides, he has been
busy searching for bribes."
Son: "But I do not want a 'he'! I am straight!"
Mother: "Opposites attract, my son. You are straight and he
is crooked. You will be happy together."
Father: "Your mother speaks with the wisdom of age, son. You
should look at the positive side: Ying-Ming has plenty of
wool blankets. He will keep you warm at night. What do you
say, son?"
Son: "How soon will the cloning take place?"
Father: "Ah, that's better, son. I knew you would come
around. It's important to be open-minded. There are only a
few brides and their demands are impossibly high: they want
a man who is not just rich and handsome, but who also stops
his car to ask for directions."
Mother: "In all my years, I have never met such a man."
Son: "Not on this planet. But how did this happen, this
terrible shortage of women?"
Father: "I blame it on the government. They created the
one-child policy to control the population. They knew we
would turn it into the one-boy policy, which would really
control the population. Don't blame us: all we wanted was
one boy."
Son: "Don't blame me: All I want is one girl. Is it an
impossible dream?"
Father: "Well, there are two other options. You can find
another man, put your savings together, and pay for a sex
change operation. Ying-Ming does not want to do it. We
already asked. But he is willing to wear a dress on
weekends. He will even shave his mustache -- if you insist."
Son: "Ying-Ming is a ding-a-ling. What's the other option?"
Father: "You can go to America."
Son: "America? Are there many brides there?"
Father: "Well, once you are settled in America, you can do
what many American men do: get yourself a mail-order bride
from Russia or the Philippines."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
The God of thunder rode forth one day
Upon his fearsome filly
"I'M THOR!!" he cried
His horse replied
"You forgot your thaddle, thilly !"
Today, March 15, in
44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high
ranking Roman Senators. The day is known as the "Ides of March."
1493 Christopher Columbus returned to Spain after his first
New World voyage.
1892 New York State unveiled the new automatic ballot voting machine.
1892 Jesse W. Reno patented the Reno Inclined Elevator.
It was the first escalator.
1904 Three hundred Russians were killed as the Japanese shelled
Port Arthur in Korea.
1916 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sent 12,000 troops, under
General Pershing, over the border of Mexico to pursue bandit
Pancho Villa. The mission failed.
1934 Henry Ford restored the $5 a day wage.
1938 Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia.
1939 German forces occupied Bohemia and Moravia, and the German speaking
part of Czechoslovakia.
1944 Cassino, Italy, was destroyed by Allied bombing.
1949 Clothes rationing in Great Britain ended nearly four years after
the end of World War II.
1951 General de Lattre demanded that Paris send him more troops
for the fight in Vietnam.
1951 The Persian parliament voted to nationalize the oil industry.
1955 The U.S. Air Force unveiled a self-guided missile.
1960 The first underwater park was established as Key Largo Coral Reef Preserve.
1990 In Iraq, British journalist Farzad Bazoft was hanged for spying.
1990 The Soviet parliament ruled that Lithuania's declaration of
independence was invalid and that Soviet law was still in force
in the Baltic republic.
1994 U.S. President Clinton extended the moratorium on nuclear testing
1996 The aviation firm Fokker NV collapsed.
2002 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell told the Associated Press
that the U.S. would stand by a 24-year pledge not to use nuclear
arms against states that don't have them.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 832 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 693 )
Directory listing to edible file
Thursday, March 14, 2013, 09:53 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, March 14
Thank you, William!
Feds buy 100 years worth of ammo for Homeland Security!
Next, they are going to buy guns, that require different
ammo.
Nothing to worry about. Nobody is going to shoot at you.
It's just routine commission based kick-backs,
pork-barreling and job creation.
That's how Government works.
Rumors have it, that they are going to sell the obsolete
guns to Mexico, in order to put the gun shops in Arizona
and Texas out of business, and they are apparently planning
to sell all the no longer matching ammo to some Arabic
speaking guy, so that the local gun nuts can't buy it at
Army Surplus and have fun at the gravel pit.
Nothing personal, that's just how the Government works.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
--- James Feibleman
Most advances in science come when a person for one reason
or another is forced to change fields.
--- Peter Borden
A mother asked her small son what he would like for his
birthday.
"I'd like a little brother," a boy said.
"Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. Why do you
want a little brother"?
"Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can blame
on my dog."
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
Two guys had businesses on the same street.
One had customers coming and going and the other, well,
maybe two or three a day.
Finally, Morris, whose business was doing badly,
decided to visit Shapiro, who was doing very well.
Going in the door, he saw a large banner over the
entrance which read : "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE."
Morris wanted to know why Shapiro was going out of
business, since he seemed to be doing so well.
Shapiro confided, "That sign has been in my window
for almost nineteen years. If I took it down,
I would go out of business."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Paul, 62 and Wendy, 56, Marshallsea, in Merthyr Tydfil,
South Wales, Britain
Fired for shark wrestling
while on paid sick leave
Reported by Sun Metro
Holidaying for two months in Australia, while on paid
sick leave, did not go over well.
It was not reported whether the very young shark was
trying to play with the kids or had inadvertently gotten
washed up too high on the shore and was lost.
Tech Support Pits
From: Ed
Re: Directory listing to editable file
Dear Webby
I forgot how to get to DOS, so that I can send an
editable directory listing to a file. I know you told
us a few times, but now I got Windoze7 and that is more
blonde than my pretty wife.
Thanks
Ed
Dear Ed
You can send your wife over here.
To open DOS, use the File Explorer
Right-Click START
Windos File Explorer
browse to the folder, that you are interested in.
Hold CTRL SHIFT and RIGHT-click
Select: Open Command Window Here
Yes, I know it is a silly rigamarole, but Microsoft
figures that is good for you.
Once you have the DOS Window open, type
dir /?
That will show you all the different options for the DIR
command.
Most likely you will want the Bare format, sorted by
extensions.
That would be
dir /b /o:e
Or with all the info, sorted by size:
dir /o:s
You will be amazed at the speed!
OK, now to send that to a file named somedir.txt
in the root directory:
dir /o:s > c:\somedir.txt
Naturally, you can send it to any file of your choosing.
It will seem that nothing happened when you hit Enter with
that on the command line. That is because DOS is so fast.
Don't worry, the listing will be in that file!
Then open Quattro or Calc or Excel and open that file.
It will ask you if you want it sorted into columns,
etc. Yes, yes, yes.
Once it has imported it, it will still be sorted
like you had specified, but neatly shuffled into
columns.
Now you can delete entrie columns and format it all
quite neatly for printing.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Memory Foam Bath Mats
for Leather Car Seats
I found our leather seats so cold during the winter,
and when I wore shorts or a dress in the summer,
I stuck to the seat. Ouch! You can buy seat covers,
but they are quite a pain to put on and take off.
I came up with an inexpensive, very comfy solution,
memory foam bath mats. You can get them at most
department or bath stores in various colours and
sizes, but I got this one at Walmart.
By Ann from Goulais River, Ontario
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
A customer was so infatuated with his waitress he decided to ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her.
With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented.
He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served me? You wouldn't even make eye contact."
"Oh," replied the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?"
"I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where we're going when I'm driving."
Today, March 14, in
1489 Catherine Cornaro, Queen of Cyprus, sold her kingdom
to Venice. She was the last of the Lusignan dynasty.
1743 First American town meeting was held at Boston
1757 British Admiral John Byng was executed by a firing squad
on board HMS Monarch for neglect of duty.
1794 Eli Whitney received a patent for his cotton gin.
1864 Samuel Baker discovered another source of the Nile in
East Africa. He named it Lake Albert Nyanza.
1891 The submarine Monarch laid telephone cable along the
bottom of the English Channel to prepare for the first
telephone links across the Channel.
1900 U.S. currency went on the gold standard with the
ratification of the Gold Standard Act.
1900 In Holland, Botanist Hugo de Vries rediscovered
Mendel's laws of heredity.
1901 Utah Governor Heber M. Wells vetoed a bill that would
have relaxed restrictions on polygamy.
1905 French bankers refused to lend money to Russia until
after their war.
1905 The British House of Commons cited a need to compete
with Germany in naval strength.
1914 Henry Ford announced the new continuous motion method
to assemble cars. The process decreased the time to make a
car from 12½ hours to 93 minutes.
1915 The British Navy sank the German battleship Dresden
off the Chilean coast.
1932 George Eastman, the founder of the Kodak company,
committed suicide.
1936 Adolf Hitler told a crowd of 300,000 that Germany's only
judge is God and itself.
1939 Hungary occupied the Carpatho-Ukraine.
Slovakia declared its independence.
1945 In Germany, a 22,000 pound "Grand Slam" bomb was dropped by
the Royal Air Force Dambuster Squad on the Bielefeld railway
viaduct. It was the heaviest bomb used during World War II.
1947 The U.S. signed a 99-year lease on naval bases in the Philippines.
1947 Moscow announced that 890,532 German POWs were held in the U.S.S.R.
1951 U.N. forces recaptured Seoul for the second time during the
Korean War.
1954 The Viet Minh launched an assault on Dien Bien Phu in Saigon.
1958 The U.S. government suspended arms shipments to the Batista
government of Cuba.
1976 Egypt formally abrogated the 1971 Treaty Friendship and
Cooperation with the Soviet Union.
1978 An Israeli force of 22,000 invaded south Lebanon.
1981 Three Pakistani airline hijackers surrendered in Syria
after they had exchanged 100 passengers and crewmen for
54 Pakistani prisoners.
1989 Imported assault guns were banned in the U.S. under
President George H.W. Bush.
1996 U.S. President Bill Clinton committed $100 million for
an anti-terrorism pact with Israel to track down and root
out Islamic militants.
1998 An earthquake left 10,000 homeless in southeastern Iran.
2003 Robert Blake was released from jail on $1.5 million bail.
Blake had been jailed for the murder of his wife Bonny Lee Bakley.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 879 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 694 )
How do you get music from Tape to CD?
Wednesday, March 13, 2013, 11:13 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, March 13
Man makes daily commute on unicycle
ST. PAUL, Minn. (UPI) -- A Minnesota man said he makes his
daily 18-mile commute year-round on an unusual vehicle --
a unicycle.
Bob Clark, 51, said he travels to his office in downtown
St. Paul every day on a unicycle, regardless of the weather,
the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported Monday.
"It's not as hard as most people think it is," Clark said.
Anyone who can ride a bike can ride a unicycle, with a little
practice. It's a mind-body thing that happens automatically.
Clark said he owns four unicycles and averages about 10 mph
in the winter and 12 mph in the summer.
He said riding his unicycle in public gets him a lot of
attention. "The comments are 99 percent positive," he said.
Lots of people stick their cellphones out the car window
to take a picture.
"Most people," he said, just ask where the other wheel is.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
If knowledge can create problems,
it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
--- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen;
in small things they show themselves as they are.
--- Nicholas Chamfort (1741 - 1794)
Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you?
Old too soon...smart too late."
--- Mike Tyson
Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner.
The first Pastor said, "Ya know, since summer started I've
been having trouble with mice in my church. I've tried
everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare
them away.
The second Pastor then said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds
living in the basement of the church. I've set traps and
even called an expert to get rid of them, yet they still
won't go away."
With a grin on his face, the third Pastor said, "I had
the same problem so I baptized all mine and made them
members of the church and passed the collection plate.
Haven't seen one back since!!!"
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
One evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother
was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn
off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
"Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said, "I have to sleep with daddy."
A long silence was broken at last by a shaken
little voice saying, "The big sissy."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Jarad S. Carr
Arrested After Returning A Printer With Two
Counterfeit Bills Inside
Reported by Judy
It's hard enough to return a printer to Walmart without a
receipt, but things become more difficult when the printer
in question contains counterfeit $100 bills.
On Thursday, Jarad S. Carr tried to return a printer to a
Walmart in Lake Hallie, Wis., without any proof he bought
it there. Employees examined the device and found a single
sheet of photocopy paper with two counterfeit $100 bills
printed on it, MobileMag.com reported.
When Walmart clerks refused to take back the printer, Carr
raised a ruckus that drew local police. Officers allegedly
found another $300 in homemade money on him, according to
the blog Gizmodo.
The officers accused Carr of threatening to harm them, but
he was arrested without anyone being injured, the Chippewa
Herald reported. He was charged with attempted theft by fraud,
forgery and resisting arrest.
Lake Hallie Police officers are looking for a man who was with
Carr, and who they are terming a person of interest.
Bail has not been set yet.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jessie
Re: Tape to CD
Dear Webby
I get a lot of good tips from you. Thank you. Can you tell
me if there is a way to record from a Cassette to a CD?
I have an Iomega Super DVD/CD burner that I can record
from my camcorder to, but haven't figured out the cassette.
Thanks for any help.
Jessie
Dear Jessie
You need a patch cable, hat has standard 1/8" plugs on
each end. That is the same kind of plug as you got on
your tape player's headphone set.
Plug one end into the tape player, the other end into
the BLUE socket on the computer. That one is sometimes
labelled AUX Input.
Then record the input with any sound recorder, like for
example Audacity. You can save the recorded file as WAV
or MP3 or whatever you want.
You can set up your CD as a data CD, playable on computers
only, or as an Audio CD, that you can play in your car
as well.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Band Instruments At Pawn Shops
When my kids decided they wanted to be in band at school,
I went to Pawn Shops and looked around to see what they
had. I did not know if my kids would stick with it, and
I did not want to put a lot of money into an instrument
in case they did not take it but one year.
Both of my kids stuck with it from middle school through
high school! We never had any problems with the
instruments. You just clean the mouth piece good.
Someone at a music store can tell you how or the music
teacher at school can. We had both a clarinet and
saxophone.
By Teresa from Durham, NC
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
A YOUNG WOMAN inherited a home that had been built by distant
relatives. Before she could take possession of the property,
however, government surveyors had to decide whether it was
located in the United States or Canada.
When they declared the home was just inside the U.S. border,
the young woman was very much relieved.
“I’m glad to hear that,” she admitted.
“I’ve been told that Canadian winters are quite terrible!”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A teacher asked her students to draw a picture of their
favorite Old Testament story, and as she moved around the
class, she saw there were many wonderful drawings being
done. Then she came across Johnny who had drawn an old man
driving an old car. In the back seat were two passengers,
both naked.
"It's a lovely picture," said the teacher, "but which story
does it tell?"
Johnny seemed surprised at the question. "Well," he exclaimed,
"doesn't it say in the BIBLE that God drove Adam and Eve
out of the Garden of Eden in a fury?
And THAT's a Plymouth Fury just like Grampa got up on blocks
in his yard!"
Today, March 12, in
0607 The 12th recorded passage of Halley's Comet occurred.
1519 Cortez landed in Mexico.
1660 A statute was passed limiting the sale of slaves
in the colony of Virginia.
1777 The U.S. Congress ordered its European envoys to appeal
to high-ranking foreign officers to send troops to
reinforce the American army.
1781 Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus.
1861 Jefferson Davis signed a bill authorizing slaves to
be used as soldiers for the Confederacy.
1877 Chester Greenwood patented the earmuff.
1884 Standard time was adopted throughout the U.S.
1901 Andrew Carnegie announced that he was retiring from
business and that he would spend the rest of his days
giving away his fortune. His net worth was estimated at
$300 million.
1902 In Poland, schools were shut down across the country
when students refused to sing the Russian hymn "God Protect
the Czar."
1915 The Germans repelled a British expeditionary force
attack in France.
1925 A law in Tennessee prohibited the teaching of evolution.
1930 It was announced that the planet Pluto had been discovered
by scientist Clyde Tombaugh at the Lowell Observatory.
1935 Three-thousand-year-old archives were found in Jerusalem
confirming some biblical history.
1941 Adolf Hitler issued an edict calling for an invasion of
the U.S.S.R.
1946 Reports from Iran indicated that Soviet tank units were
stationed 20 miles from Tehran.
1951 Israel demanded $1.5 billion in German reparations for
the cost of caring for war refugees.
1957 Jimmy Hoffa was arrested by the FBI on bribery charges.
1963 China invited Soviet President Khrushchev to visit Peking.
1969 The Apollo 9 astronauts returned to Earth after the
conclusion of a mission that included the successful
testing of the Lunar Module.
1970 Digital Equipment Corp. introduced the PDP-11 minicomputer.
1974 The U.S. Senate voted 54-33 to restore the death penalty.
1974 An embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries was lifted.
1990 The U.S. lifted economic sanctions against Nicaragua.
1991 Exxon paid $1 billion in fines and for the clean-up of
the Alaskan oil spill.
2003 Japan sent a destroyer to the Sea of Japan amid reports
that North Korea was planning to test an intermediate-range
ballistic missile.
2003 A report in the journal "Nature" reported that scientists
had found 350,000-year-old human footprints in Italy.
The 56 prints were made by three early, upright-walking
humans that were descending the side of a volcano.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 307 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 595 )
Mouse causing need to reboot
Tuesday, March 12, 2013, 10:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, March 12
>From Dr Bill
BTW - the best pancakes you ever ate are make with Krusteaz
(don't have to add eggs etc) and beer - instead of water or
milk - and using different beers, dark, light, ales,
Guiness etc, and/or wheat flour makes some amazing
varieties - all light, fluffy, yummy, etc - typically,
my guests on Shrove Tuesday eat three helpings or more -
they are fabulous - yes, both the pancakes and the guests.
Bill
Two extremes:
Bernard Anderson Bey, 32, New York, homeless entitlement
freak, is suing his parents, because they are no longer
supporting him.
----------------------
Albert Lexie, a shoe-shiner working at a Pittsburgh children's
hospital has donated more than $200,000 of his tips to the
facility during the past 32 years
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.
--- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821)
It is our responsibilities, not ourselves,
that we should take seriously.
--- Peter Ustinov
"A man's character is his fate.
--- Heraclitus (540 BC - 480 BC),
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that
read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what
he wanted.
"What´s your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly.
"Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have ANY idea how
disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating
anything that came out of a chicken´s mouth!" the man
fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "Well, what would you
like then, sir?"
The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."
"Right, sir."
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.
"In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double
negative is still a negative."
"However," the professor continued, "there is no language
wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Leticia Silva, a 31
Jailed for Sending Children Switchblade Knife,
Instructing Them To Murder Grandparents With It
Reported by the Weekly Vice
Leticia Silva, a 31-year-old Florida woman, has been
charged after she allegedly mailed her young children a
knife, then instructed them to kill their grandparents
with it.
According to the Pitt County Sheriff's Office, Silva lost
custody of her two daughters (ages 7 and 9) seven years
ago when she was arrested in Florida for possession of
methamphetamine.
The two children were removed from Silva's care and sent
to live with their paternal grandparents in Greenville,
North Carolina. Both children remain in the care and
custody of their grandparents.
Investigators say Silva plotted to have the grandparents
(her former in-laws) murdered while she was incarcerated
in a Florida prison.
In December, Silva mailed a switchblade pocket knife to
her daughters with a written note instructing them to
murder their grandparents with it. Silva then called her
daughters around Christmas time and instructed them to
grab a steak knife from the kitchen and use it for the
murder instead.
The murder plot began to unravel in February when the
childrens' grandmother found the knife under a pillow
while changing the girls' bed sheets. That's when the
grandmother brought the two girls to the Pitt County
Sheriff's Office, and the girls explained what they
had been instructed to do with the knives.
Silva, who was temporarily out of jail and had traveled
to North Carolina, turned herself in at the Pitt County
Detention Center on Monday. She has been charged with four
counts of first-degree solicitation to commit murder.
She remains in jail in lieu of a $5 million bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Susan
Re: Mouse causes re-start
Dear Webby,
I have been having a problem with my computer and mouse for
a couple of months now and have not heard of this problem
from anyone before.
Sometimes when I go to drag a window to a different spot
or resize it, the cursor, it's like it's frozen on
the screen. So I move the mouse several times to try and
move it, however, it never moves and my computer re-starts.
This might happen several times a day.
Very annoying.......especially if I'm in the middle of
something and have not saved it yet.
I ran CrapCleaner.....that didn't fix the problem.
I replaced the mouse.....that didn't fix the problem.
I'm really at a loss here not knowing where to look next.
I am using Windoze 7. This has never happened on XP.
Any suggestions?
Susan
Dear Susan
That is actually quite common with W7, especially if
you have a bargain machine with only 2 GB of RAM.
You can go do the dishes and see if it recovers
in the meantime. Sometimes it does.
If it doesn't recover, hit CTRL SHIFT ESC to start
the Task Manager. It might take a while to start up.
Windows 7 is good for teaching you patience and humility.
Saint Bill figures that is good for you.
When the Task Manager finally opens, tab over to "Processes".
Sort it by MEM, biggest on top.
Chances are good, that the top item is your browser.
Highlight it and hit CTRL E to "END PROCESS".
Usually that will free enough memory, that you can return
to your work and save it.
Yes, you CAN do all that without the mouse!
It would be a good idea to practise that, so that when
you are in a big panic, you can do it as slick as any
Eggspurt.
While you probably CAN limp along like that, it would
be a good idea to hint, that some extra RAM would be an
appropriate Easter basket item, or at the very latest,
something for Mothers Day.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Treating Chapped Lips
If your lips are peeling and chapped, they are annoying
and unattractive. Apply a little vasoline to your lips
and use a nail file to gently remove any dead skin.
Your lips will feel refreshed and look healthy again.
Lip gloss can build up on your lips and prevents normal
shedding of dead skin cells.
Source: Wendy Williams Show
By mary jean from Morristown, NJ
You can use some of the hand sanitizer, that is available
free at a lot of store entrances, on a paper towel, to
remove old gloss or "remedies", then smear some Vaseline
onto the back of your hand and kiss it. That gives you
just the right amount. You need just a little bit to retain
a little bit more moisture.
If your lips get a barely noticeable erratic tingle or
tightening feeling, that is usually an early warning signal,
that you are about to notice in a day or two,
that you have the flu.
If you catch it early enough, you can get rid of it by drinking
Silver Water, or by putting 5 drops of Hydrogen Peroxide into
each ear for 5 minutes, repeated after 4 hours. If you do
that, then you don't get even the half flu, that you get
from the flu shots.
During flu season, make sure your lips are not cracked and
well protected, wipe them only with sanitizer or windshield
washer moistened paper towel, and kiss your vaseline smeared
hand right afterward, and NEVER rub or touch your eyes unless
you have first sanitized your hands.
Then you too can avoid the flu for dozens of years,
like I have.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
From Phil
I took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling
people for their views on various issues.
On my very first call, I introduced myself,
"Hello, this is a telephone poll."
The man replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging
between them a young man.
"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King, until he called
for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, " and I shall
hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a
half."
"Sounds good to me,"said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent
blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man
must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the
king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon.
"That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."
Today, March 12, in
1496 Jews were expelled from Syria.
1609 The Bermuda Islands became an English colony.
1664 New Jersey became a British colony. King Charles II
granted land in the New World to his brother James
(The Duke of York).
1809 Britain signed a treaty with Persia forcing the
French to leave the country.
1879 The British Zulu War began.
1889 Almon B. Stowger applied for a patent for his
automatic telephone system.
1894 Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time.
1903 The Czar of Russia issued a decree for freedom of religion
1904 After 30 years of drilling, the tunnel under the Hudson
River was completed. The link was between Jersey City, NJ,
and New York, NY.
1909 Three U.S. warships were ordered to Nicaragua to stem
the conflict with El Salvador.
1911 Dr. Fletcher of Rockefeller Institute discovered the
cause of infantile paralysis.
1912 The Girl Scout organization was founded. The original
name was Girl Guides. They have since changed back to that.
1923 Dr. Lee DeForest demonstrated phonofilm. It was his
technique for putting sound on motion picture film.
1938 The "Anschluss" took place as German troops entered Austria.
1940 Finland surrendered to Russia ending the Russo-Finnish War.
When the Axis appeared to be winning, they joined Germany.
When the Allies were obvious to win, they broke with Germany
and joined the Allies in 1945
1944 Britain barred all travel to Ireland.
1959 The U.S. House joined the U.S. Senate in approving the
statehood of Hawaii.
1985 Former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon announced that
he planned to drop Secret Service protection and hire his
own bodyguards in an effort to lower the deficit by
$3 million.
1989 About 2,500 veterans and supporters marched at the
Art Institute of Chicago to demand that officials
remove an American flag placed on the floor as part
of an exhibit.
1993 In the U.S., the Pentagon called for the closure of
31 major military bases.
1994 The Church of England ordained its first women priests.
1998 Astronomers cancelled a warning that a mile-wide
asteroid might collide with Earth saying that calculations
had been off by 600,000 miles.
1999 Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic became members
of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). All three
countries were members of the former Warsaw Pact.
2003 In Utah, Elizabeth Smart was reunited with her family
nine months after she was abducted from her home. She had
been taken on June 5, 2002, by a drifter, that had
previously worked at the Smart home.
2003 The U.S. Air Force announced that it would resume
reconnaissance flights off the coast of North Korea.
The flights had stopped on March 2 after an encounter
with four armed North Korean jets.
2009 It was announced that the Sears Tower in Chicago, IL,
would be renamed Willis Tower. Sears was no longer leasing
the main floor and had moved.
2010 In the U.S., Apple began taking pre-orders for the iPad.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 3 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 644 )
How to filter out Chinese spam
Monday, March 11, 2013, 01:00 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, March 11.
>From Dr Bill
I am interested in the beer - but I've been making it for
years - love to tip a bottle with you some day - maybe
your readers don't know that you can buy the bottles with
the self-stopper attached so you don't need a capper? -
I also buy and save up Groelsch beer bottles for that reason.
Bill
That book has sources for everything needed for small batch
home brewing. AND you can easily even brew non-alcoholic beer,
that has the same taste and all the micro-nutrients and complex
B vitamines needed to boost immunity.
My dad is 90, and he has never had a flu shot, instead he has a
non-alcoholic beer with many meals. He doesn't drive any more,
but just got used to the non-alcoholic beer and is not about
to change now.
>From Carol
Dear Webby, Regarding the off shore bomb: Wouldn't the tsumani
go both ways and destroy parts of the west coast of Japan?
Dear Carol
Compared to an earthquake, a bomb is nothing.
An earth-quake, for example from a plate or shelf moving,
gives the water a shove in ONE direction. Sure it spreads
eventually, but the main thrust is in one direction.
With a bomb, the push is omnidirectional, in all directions,
and diminishing with the cube of the distance.
It would be measurable, but would not be catastrophic a few
hundred miles away. Like most of the stuff from tsunami
warnings, just barely measurable.
An H bomb, not a little Plutonium type bomb, like they
have themselves, but a big, noisy H bomb,
3-4 miles off the coast of North Korea gong off a
few hundred feet under water sure would get them wet, and
the bang would give them the hint, without killing a lot
of civilians, not like the bombs did in Japan.
However, even in Japan, those 2 little nukes killed a lot
fewer civilians, than they had killed with the fire-bombing.
Those 2 little nukes made one hell of a bang, that scared
their pants off. They have been the most polite and respectful
people on this planet ever since.
THAT is the idea.
Same as the way to deal with a yapping Chihuahua.
You place a cardboard box near where they are yapping, and
flatten it with one mighty swipe of the big broom.
They get the hint and become reasonable in mid-yap.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
--- Larry Gelbart
The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between
work and play.
--- Arnold Joseph Toynbee
An old couple was just settling in to bed one night when
the phone rang. The husband got out of bed and went into
the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear
him say, "H ello?" Then he said, "Sure is."
He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out
of bed and went into the other room and his wife could
hear him say, "Hello?" and then he said, "Sure is."
He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
The wife asked who it was.
The man said he didn't know.
A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out
of bed and went into the other room and his wife could
hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is."
He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
The wife asked again about the caller.
The man said he didn't know who it was.
The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say?"
He said, "It's odd, a woman just keeps saying,
'Long distance from
Chicago..'"
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
Three expectant fathers were in the waiting room.
The nurse came out of the delivery room and announced to
one of the fathers that he was the father of twins. He was
delighted and said what a coincidence, since he was a
member of the Minnesota Twins team.
A little later the nurse came out again and said to the next
father, congratulations, your wife just had triplets. He was
so a happy, and said, "Isn't that a coincidence --
I work for 3M."
The other father took off like a shot -- the nurse ran after
him, saying, "Where are you going?"
Over his shoulder, the nurse heard him mumbling something
about his work at 7UP, and heading for Mexico.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Amanda Feenstra, 30, Houston, Texas
Married Teacher Jailed For Having Long-Term
Lesbian Relationship With Student
Reported by the Weekly Vice
Amanda Feenstra, a 30-year-old dance teacher at Humble High
School, has been jailed after she allegedly engaged in a
long-term sexual relationship with a female student.
According to Police, Feenstra allegedly became involved in
a sexual relationship with a female student that lasted for
more than a year. Police believe the alleged relationship
began in August 2010 and continued through November 2011.
Investigators say the student, who was on the dance team
Feenstra taught, was 16 years old when she and Feenstra met.
That's when Feenstra allegedly approached the girl and told
her that she was attracted to her and wanted to get to know
her.
Feenstra and the teen began spending time with each other
from that point forward.
During a police interview, the student told detectives that
she and Feenstra had sex so many times, she couldn't remember
them all. The first sexual encounter took place at Feenstra's
home when her husband was away. During that encounter, Feenstra
allegedly kissed and "dry humped" the student.
On the second sexual encounter, Feenstra allegedly performed
oral sex on the teen. She also reportedly used an "erect
vibrating penis" on the girl during some of the sexual
encounters, according to the arrest affidavit.
As the relationship continued, Feenstra and the student had
sex inside the dance teacher's office, at extra-curricular
school events and Feenstra's home when her husband was away.
At some point the student decided to end the relationship
and thought that graduating from the school would bring
the relationship to a close. That's when Feenstra allegedly
began stalking the girl by showing up at her work uninvited
and calling her on the phone.
This is the point in which the girl "thought she needed to
talk to someone," according to the arrest report. The student
approached another teacher at the school, and the teacher
notified the school principal.
Feenstra resigned her position with the Humble School District
in 2011 and began working in the Daytom school district a
short time after. She resigned her position with Dayton ISD
in December after the criminal investigation began.
Feenstra was booked into jail and charged with improper
relationship between educator and student. Her bond has been
set at $30,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Edith
Re: Filter out Chinese spam
Dear Webby,
I bet you were expecting this.
How do you filter out Chinese spam?
I don't read or understand Chinese, and I am not in the
least interested in spam from morons, who expect me to
learn Chinese to be able to read their unsolicited crap.
So, how do I dump it, unseen, on the server?
Edith
Dear Edith
If the entire header contains RegExpr"
Content-type[^\n]*(\n[^\n]*)?charset=(3D)?"?(gb2312|euc-cn|big5)"
then mark the message as mail to be deleted,
automatically.
Just copy and paste the part for the value field.
For Korean spam, if you are sure it is not fan mail from
Kim Young-One, use:
If the entire header contains
RegExpr"Content-type[^\n]*(\n[^\n]*)?charset=(3D)?"?(ks_c_5601-1987|euc-kr|iso-2022-kr)" then mark the message as mail to be deleted,
automatically.
That should remove 10 - 15% of your spam.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Natural Cleaning for Spring
It's that time of the year to spring clean. It's better
to make your own cleaners; no harsh chemicals, cheaper,
and it's better for the environment. To clean my kitchen
and bathroom counters, I sprinkle baking soda on them
and then scrub with a cleaning brush. To clean windows,
I use 2 tablespoons of white vinegar with a gallon of water.
Put in a spray bottle and you're all set. You can also use
lemon juice instead of vinegar which smells good.
Instead of buying expensive drain cleaner for clogged
drains, I use 2 cups of baking soda. Pour into the drain
and then pour hot water from the teapot in. It works
really well.
By Debbie G.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
A guy wanted to get in the temple on Yom Kippur, but without a
ticket they don't let you in on the Jewish high holidays.
He said, "Look, I have to give an emergency message to a
doctor friend in there."
The guy at the door says, "Sorry, you got to have a ticket."
The first guy replies, "Just let me in for one minute, I'll give the doctor
the message and then I'll be right out."
"All right," says the guy at the door, "but I better not catch you
praying."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Flying to San Francisco from San Diego the other day, a passenger
noticed that the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign was kept lit during the whole
journey although the flight was a particularly smooth one.
Just before landing, he asked the stewardess about it.
"Well," she explained, up front there are 17 University of San Diego
girls going to San Francisco for the weekend.
In back, there are 25 Navy recruits out on weekend liberty.
"What would you do?"
Today, March 11, in
537 The Goths began their siege on Rome.
1302 The characters Romeo and Juliet were married this day
according to William Shakespeare.
1810 The Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was married by proxy to
Archduchess Marie Louise of Austria.
1824 The U.S. War Department created the Bureau of Indian
Affairs. Seneca Indian Ely Parker became the first Indian
to lead the Bureau.
1867 In Hawaii, the volcano Great Mauna Loa erupted.
1900 British Prime Minister Lord Salisbury rejected the peace
overtures offered from the Boer leader Paul Kruger.
1901 Britain rejected an amended treaty to the canal agreement
with Nicaragua.
1901 U.S. Steel was formed when industrialist J.P. Morgan
purchased Carnegie Steel Corp. The event made Andrew Carnegie
the world's richest man.
1907 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt induced California to
revoke its anti-Japanese legislation.
1927 The Flatheads Gang stole $104,250 in the first armored-car
robbery near Pittsburgh, PA.
1965 The American navy began inspecting Vietnamese junks in
an effort to end arms smuggling to the South.
1978 Bobby Hull (Winnipeg Jets) joined Gordie Howe by getting his
1,000th career goal.
1978 Palestinian guerrillas on the Tel Aviv Haifa highway killed
34 Israelis.
1990 Lithuania declared its independence from the Soviet Union.
It was the first Soviet republic to break away from Communist
control.
1991 In South Africa a curfew was imposed on black townships after
fighting between political gangs had left 49 dead.
1992 Former U.S. President Nixon said that the Bush administration
was not giving enough economic aid to Russia.
1993 North Korea withdrew from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty
refusing to open sites for inspection.
1997 An explosion at a nuclear waste reprocessing plant caused 35
workers to be exposed to low levels of radioactivity. The incident
was the worst in Japan's history.
2004 In Madrid, Spain, several coordinated bombing attacks on commuter
trains killed at least 190 people and injured more than 2,000.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 920 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 634 )
How to filter out Japanese spam
Sunday, March 10, 2013, 11:12 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, March 10.
Remember to set your alarm clock ahead an hour, and
the one on the stove and the one on the coffee machine.
I was surprised to see that not one single reader was
interested in the home-brew beer for next to no cost.
Beer, in moderation, is actually extremely healthy,
especially home made beer, that has all the natural
micro-nutrients and vitamines still in it.
Well, in case you change your mind, I will keep the link
alive at http://webby.com/beer
In case you forget, just write me.
Sailor wrote to me:
"Webby, let me ask you this --
Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea and then two days later,
North Korea says it "WANTS TO NUKE THE UNITED STATES OFF
THE FACE OF THE WORLD"
Is Rodman really that ugly?
Sailor"
Well Kim Jon-Un is no prize himself, except in North Korea.
What Rodman did not realize is that North Korea has
traditionally been guided by Chihuahua philosophy.
If anyone tries to make any friendly or conciliatory
gesture to a yapping Chihuahua, it interpretes that as a
sign of weakness and retreat, and it gets noisier.
Obviously, what Rodman did was not the correct way to deal
with a short and chubby practitioner of Chihuahua philosophy.
A polite little Hiroshima nuke would not be good either.
They can do that themselves now.
A HUGE Hydrogen bomb a few miles off-shore, lighting up the
night with a horrific thunder clap and causing a bit
of a Tsunami would suitably reset the relationship and
initiate suddenly friendly terms.
It remains to be seen if the Government retreats or
responds properly.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous
to offer me the position.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
--- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
Joe's wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church
choir. From time to time she would practice while she was
in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start
in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch.
His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter,
Joe? Don't you like my singing?"
Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want
to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!
What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!
It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!
You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.
If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!
By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!
A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable
to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans.
Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone
else, she asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make
me look like the side of the house?"
"No, dear, not at all," he replied, "Our house is more
faded than that."
Click on the picture for the large version
BIG ZOOM
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Jose Acevedo, 41, Cape Coral, Florida
Jailed After Beating Wife's Head
Repeatedly With Baseball Bat While
Couple's Son Watched In Horror
Reported by the Smoking Gun
Jose Acevedo, a 41-year-old Florida man, was jailed after he
allegedly crashed a minivan into his wife's bedroom, grabbed
a baseball bat and began beating her in front of the couple's
7-year-old son.
According to Cape Coral Police, officers were dispatched to
the couple's home at around 6:30 a.m. Tuesday after 911
operators received a report of domestic violence.
When officers arrived at the scene, they saw a white minivan
that had crashed into the couple's house, just outside the
master bedroom. Inside the house they found Jose Acevedo
and his wife, 45-year-old Yolima Papa-Sanchez.
Papa Sanchez was seriously injured while Acevedo appeared
uninjured.
As the investigation unfolded, detectives learned that Acevedo
intentionally crashed the couple's minivan into the house
knowing that his wife and 7-year-old son were asleep inside
the master bedroom.
Since the minivan did not successfully penetrate the wall
and enter the bedroom, Acevedo decided to finish the task
a different way. That's when he allegedly exited the van,
grabbed an aluminum baseball bat and commenced beating his
wife in the head with it.
Acevedo allegedly struck his wife with the bat multiple
times while their 7-year-old son watched in horror. He
allegedly stopped the attack when his wife cried
"I love you, Don't kill me."
Investigators say Yolima Papa-Sanchez sustained severe
trauma to her skull, a fractured forearm, multiple
lacerations and a number of defensive wounds.
She was rushed to Lee Memorial Hospital where she continues
to be treated and is expected to survive her injuries.
During a police interview, Acevedo stated that he wanted
his wife to die and admitted that he "broke her head."
When asked how he knew what kind of damage he caused,
Acevedo stated that he "saw stuff coming out of her head."
Acevedo was booked into the Lee County Jail and charged
with attempted murder and aggravated assault.
Tech Support Pits
From: Freddy
Re: Filter out Japanese email
Dear Webby,
you mentioned at one time a way to filter out Japanese spam.
Since I can neither read nor understand Japanese, I am quite
definitely not interested in Spam, that is in Japanese writing.
Now, how do I do that?
I do have mailWasher, and sometimes it flags it for deletion
automatically, but not always.
Thanks
Freddy
Dear Freddy
Make a filter and name it Japanese Mail
Set it to take precedence over the Friends List
Hide the email
Status descriptionL Japanese email
Checkmark: Mark the email fordeletion
Automatically (without notification)
ANY rule below
Rules:
The Entire header
Contains Reg Expr
then in the next field paste:
Content-type[^\n]*(\n[^\n]*)?charset=(3D)?"?(euc-jp|iso-2022-jp)
Hit OK
It will probably squawk that deleting without notification
is dangerous. Yeah, so what. You can't read Japanese anyway.
From then on you won't see Japanese spam any more.
It gets deleted automatically, on the server, without even
telling you about it.
You can see in the pie chart in the stats what percentage
of spam had been nabbed with that filter.
This sounds complicated, if you don't have MailWasher.
However, if you have it in front of you and see those
options, just clicking on them is no big deal at all.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Pay Forward
To pay forward is nice - How do I pay forward?
Menard's has US made flags on sale this week,
Yesterday I bought a dozen of them. Why so many?
When I go down the road and see a torn and tattered
flag I replace it with a new one.
I keep the old ones and display them in my garage.
sailor
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Nervous about having to MC a relative's or friend's wedding?
Get the Wedding MCWedding MC book.
It includes all the jokes and coaching you need
to be a smash hit!
I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska.
Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I
was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a
snow-covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple
hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled
back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me
seemed calm.
"I wonder why he didn't land," I said.
"He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed,"
the man said.
As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window.
"It looks plowed to me," I commented.
"No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for
some time."
"How can you tell?" I asked.
"Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives
the plow."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
RETARDED GRANDPARENTS
(this was actually reported by a teacher)
After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they
spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the
following:
We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and
Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa
got retarded and they moved to Florida. Now they live in a
tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass.
They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags
because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they
must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, and do
exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There
is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and
down with hats on.
At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man
sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape.
Sometimes they sneak out. They go cruising in their golf
carts.
Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the
same thing every night ---early birds. Some of the people
can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who
do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call
it pot luck.
My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn
his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be
retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want
to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out
so they can visit their grandchildren.
Today, March 10, in
0241 BC The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the
Battle of Aegusa.
0049 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and invaded Italy.
1496 Christopher Columbus concluded his second visit to the
Western Hemisphere when he left Hispaniola for Spain.
1629 England's King Charles I dissolved Parliament and did
not call it back for 11 years.
1776 "Common Sense" by Thomas Paine was published.
1792 John Stone patented the pile driver.
1804 The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana Purchase
from France to the U.S. took place in St. Louis.
1806 The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the British.
1814 In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a combined
Allied Army at the battle of Laon.
1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call with the
telephone.
1902 The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory over the
British, when they captured British General Methuen and 200 men.
1902 Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an earthquake.
1903 Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating machine.
1903 In New York's harbor, the disease-stricken ship Karmania was
quarantined with six dead from cholera.
1906 In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion
at Courrieres.
1910 Slavery was abolished in China.
1912 China became a republic after the overthrow of the
Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty.
1924 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law forbidding
late-night work for women.
1933 Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs.
1941 Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain
allowed food to reach France.
1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 were killed.
1953 North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri.
The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position.
It is not known whether they hit anything.
1966 The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at Ashau Valley.
1966 France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest
U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its
headquarters from Paris.
1980 Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to the
militants holding American hostages in Tehran.
1994 White House officials began testifying before a federal
grand jury about the Whitewater controversy.
2002 The Associated Press reported that the Pentagon informed the
U.S. Congress in January that it was making contingency plans for
the possible use of nuclear weapons against countries that threaten
the U.S. with weapons of mass destruction, including Iraq and North Korea.
2003 North Korea test-fired a short-range missile. The event was
one of several in a patter of unusual military maneuvers.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 346 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 609 )
Saturday, March 9, 2013, 10:20 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, March 9.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us.
--- George Eliot (1819 - 1880)
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
--- Will Rogers (1911 - 1980)
Three little boys were concerned
because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been baptized
and didn't go to Sunday School.
So they went to the nearest church.
Only the janitor was there.
One little boy said,
"We need to be baptized
because no one will come out and play with us.
Will you baptize us?"
"Sure," said the janitor.
He took them into the bathroom
and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl,
one at a time.
Then he said, "You are now baptized!".
" When they got outside,
one of them asked,
"What religion do you think we are?"
The oldest one said,
"We're not Kathlick, .....because they pour the water
on you."
"We're not Babtis, .....because they dunk all of you
in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, ......because they just sprinkle
water on you."
The littlest one said,
"Didn't you smell that water!"
They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do you think that means?"
"I think it means we're Pisscopailians.
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing
an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily
sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial
sponge bath.
Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask.
"Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse
replies "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your
upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his
testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his
testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.
Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing
wrong with them, Sir!!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful,
but listen very, very closely......
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?
--------------------
I tried that stunt, but the nurses aide, that was doing the
job, was in a big rush to get back to playing Mafia-Wars
and FarmVille, and probably had read that joke, the last
time I had featured it.
Also, they don't use oxygen masks any more. Nowadays they
just stick some small molded plastic hoses into your nose.
Works great and the oxygen enriched air sure makes a
difference!
Click on the picture for the large version
View OVER Black Diamond and to the mountains behind it.
If you look closely, near the bottom, just a tiny bit to
the right from center, you see our water tower.
I took the picture from a hill about ten miles East
of Black Diamond.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Christie Dawn Harris, 28, Ada, Oklahoma
Perp Had Loaded Revolver In Her Vagina
Reported by the Smoking Gun
An Oklahoma woman arrested Monday on drug charges had a
loaded handgun hidden in her vagina, according to police.
The weapon was discovered during a search of Christie Dawn
Harris, 28, by a female officer with the Ada Police Department.
According to a police report, the cop spotted the handle of
the five-shot revolver "sticking out from" inside Harris.
In a less shocking find, investigators also discovered plastic
baggies containing methamphetamine lodged in the crack of
Harris’s buttocks.
The Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun was loaded with three
live rounds and one spent shell, cops reported. As to where
the weapon was recovered, the police report noted,
“gun located in suspect vagina.”
At around 3:45 AM Monday, cops spotted Harris and another
woman, Jennifer Delancy, inside a vehicle parked outside a
closed restaurant. The women were in the front of the vehicle
and “both seats were laid all the way back.”
Asked by a cop if the car contained weapons or drugs, Harris,
who was behind the wheel, answered that “she did not think
there was anything.”
But when a drug dog alerted to both the driver and passenger
sides of the Toyota Yaris, cops searched the vehicle and found
meth, drug paraphernalia, a pistol, and a loaded magazine.
Harris and Delancy were then arrested.
While being transported to jail, Harris “stated several times
that she needed to go to the bathroom.”
At the lockup, Harris was directed to change out of her
clothes into “jail clothing.” When directed to lower her
underwear so that a female cop could check for contraband,
Harris “advised that she was on her period and did not want to.”
Harris eventually complied with the cop’s order. “I observed at
that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina
area,” reported Officer Kathy Unbewust, who added that she
“pulled the item from her vagina, and found it to be a 5 shot
revolver with rounds in the chamber.”
Harris is scheduled to be arraigned this afternoon on felony
Harris did not have a permit to carry a concealed weapon in
her special holster.
Tech Support Pits
From: Annelise
Re: Recognize Spoofs
Dear Webby,
Is there an easy way to recognize spoofs like the fake mails
from PayPal, banks and postcards ?
Annelise
Dear Annelise
Yes, there is.
If you have MailWasher, it will recognize them and flag them
for deleting. You can also peek at the header,
without downloding the mail. It will show you what address is
underlying thefake PayPal address.
Also, with the better email programs you can hover your
mouse over the embedded links and watch the bottom status
line. It will show you where the link actually goes to.
If it goes to some number domain or some other weird name
instead of the one it pretends to go to, trash that mail.
Don't bother blackisting. Spammers never forge the same
phony sending address twice in a row.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Pay Tolls Forward
I live on an island in the middle of a river in upstate
NY. To get home, I must pay a toll, as must all drivers
who cross the island on the NY State Thruway. Each week,
I stash dollar bills in the visor. When I enter the
tollbooth ahead of an out of state car, I pay their toll
of $1 per car. Gives them a pleasant small surprise.
So pay the toll for the car behind you at a toll booth.
That is paying forward, literally.
By jean leiner
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
GuiltFREE!
Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural,
Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts.
Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies!
Enjoy GuiltFREE! deserts and ease off any excess weight!
LOOSE weight and enjoy the goodies without guilt!
Included Bonus books: "Better Breads" and "Awesome Appetizers"
60 Day money back Guarantee!
Where would you be if:
You come home and the finest meal is awaiting you,
your bathwater has been run, and your partner is
awaiting you in skimpy clothing with open arms
and kisses.
Where would you be?
In the wrong house, Dummy!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
The other day I was in the local auto parts store. A lady
comes in and asks for a seven ten cap. We all looked at
each other and said, "What's a seven ten cap?"
She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost
somehow and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" they asked.
Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she
said, "It's a Buick."
"OK lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in
diameter.
"What does it do?" we asked.
She said, "I don't know but it's always been there."
One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she
could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about
3 inches in diameter and in the center she writes 710.
The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down
as she writes it and they just fall down behind the counter.
Finally one of them told her that they have lots of 710 caps,
because Buicks seem to loose them quite frequently.
Today, March 9, in
1454 Amerigo Vespucci was born in Florence, Italy. Matthias Ringmann, a German mapmaker, named the American continent in his honor.
1496 Jews are expelled from Carintha Austria
1497 Nicolaus Copernicus 1st recorded astronomical observation,
1500 Pedro Cabral departs with 13 ships to India
1522 Martin Luther preaches his Invocavit
1562 Kissing in public banned in Naples (punishable by death)
1617 The Treaty of Stolbovo ended the occupation of Northern
Russia by Swedish troops.
1697 Czar Peter the Great begins tour of West-Europe
1734 The Russians took Danzig (Gdansk) in Poland.
1745 The first carillon was shipped from England to Boston, MA.
1791 George Hayward, 1st US surgeon to use ether
1793 Jean Pierre Blanchard made the first balloon flight in
North America. The event was witnessed by U.S. President
George Washington.
1796 Napoleon Bonaparte and Josephine de Beauharnais were married.
They were divorced in 1809.
1799 The U.S. Congress contracted with Simeon North, of Berlin, CT,
for 500 horse pistols at the price of $6.50 each.
1812 Swedish Pomerania was seized by Napoleon.
1822 Charles M. Graham received the first patent for
artificial teeth.
1839 The French Academy of Science announced the Daguerreotype
photo process.
1858 Albert Potts was awarded a patent for the letter box.
1862 During the U.S. Civil War, the ironclads Monitor and
Virginia fought to a draw in a five-hour battle at Hampton
Roads, Virginia.
1905 In Egypt, U.S. archeologist Davies discovered the royal
tombs of Tua and Yua.
1905 In Manchuria, Japanese troops surrounded 200,000 Russian
troops that were retreating from Mudken.
1911 The funding for five new battleships was added to the
British military defense budget.
1916 Mexican raiders led by Pancho Villa attacked Columbus,
New Mexico. 17 people were killed by the 1,500 horsemen.
1945 During World War II, U.S. B-29 bombers launched incendiary
bomb attacks against Japan.
1956 British authorities arrested and deported Archbishop Makarios
from Cyprus. He was accused of supporting terrorists.
1957 Egyptian leader Nasser barred U.N. plans to share the tolls
for the use of the Suez Canal.
1964 The first Ford Mustang rolled off of the Ford assembly line.
1965 The first U.S. combat troops arrived in South Vietnam.
1975 Work began on the Alaskan oil pipeline.
1975 Iraq launched an offensive against the rebel Kurds.
1977 About a dozen armed Hanafi Muslims invaded three buildings
in Washington, DC. They killed one person and took more than
130 hostages. The siege ended two days later.
1986 U.S. Navy divers found the crew compartment of the space
shuttle Challenger along with the remains of the astronauts.
1989 In the U.S., a strike forced Eastern Airlines into bankruptcy.
1989 In the U.S., President George H.W. Bush urged for a mandatory
death penalty in drug-related killings. He was ignored.
1993 Rodney King testified at the federal trial of four Los Angeles
police officers accused of violating his civil rights.
1995 The Canadian Navy arrested a Spanish trawler for illegally
fishing near Newfoundland.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 936 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 504 )
Friday, March 8, 2013, 10:42 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, March 8.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
--- Anais Nin
Listening to a young Yuppie couple argue as they waited for
their prescriptions at least helped me pass the time. When
their meds were finally ready, they paid and walked away. The
druggist stood there and shook his head.
I asked, "What's with them ?"
He sighed and replied, "They're incompatible. He's on Xanax
and she's on Prozac....."
Thanks to Bill for this:
Unemployment explained
THESE ARE PRETTY SMART FELLAS!!!
So how can over 873,000 people come off the unemployment
rolls when there were only a little over 114,000 jobs created?
Below is a transcript of a conversation between two eminent
economists discussing this very question!
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 7.8%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.
COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.
ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 14.7% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that's 7.8%.
COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%?
ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work.
COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, Congress said you can't count the "Out of Work"
as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!
ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted
with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work.
Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up,
you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that
would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't
look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down.
That's how they get it to 7.8%.
Otherwise it would be 14.7%.
Our govt. doesn't want you to read about 14.7% unemployment.
COSTELLO: That would be tough on those running for reelection.
ABBOTT: Absolutely.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you.
That means there are two ways to bring down the
unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop
looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down,
and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an Economist.
COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Congress.
Thanks to Sailor for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
Sailor's garden shed
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Regina Sanders, 55, Tulsa, Oklahoma
"My Job Is To Harass You Bitches," Explained
The Woman Who Dialed 911 Operators
59 Times In One Day
Reported by the Smoking Gun
An Oklahoma woman charged with placing dozens of obscene and
harassing calls to 911 gave a police emergency operator a
curious rationale for her actions:
“My job is to harass you bitches,” said Regina Sanders.
The 44-year-old Sanders, seen above, dialed the Tulsa
Emergency Communications Center 59 times over an
eight-hour period last year, according to a District
Court criminal information.
Sanders has been charged with placing
“obscene/threatening/harassing” phone calls and
interfering with police emergency operators,
both misdemeanors.
She got her free room and board, pleasantly heated.
Tech Support Pits
From: Bonnie
Re: Anti Spyware
Dear Webby
I love your newsletter and have used many of your computer tips.
I have been searching the web for a good anti-spyware program.
Of course, there are thousands of them.
Is there one that you would highly recommend; and one that's
not complicated.
Thanks
Bonnie
Dear Bonnie
I recommend the Spybot-Search&Destroy so highly that I have
been making space for it in my Tool Box for a dozen years
or more.
Just click on the big blue Spybot-Search&Destroy button and
download it. It's free!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Check Amazon For Replacement
Charging Cords
When you need a charger cord for your Nintendo DS or DSI,
always check at amazon.com first before buying another one.
I bought one for four dollars and that included shipping.
Of course, as soon as I ordered it on the internet, then
we found the old charger. LOL.
By Robyn Fed from Tri-Cities, TN
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
GuiltFREE!
Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural,
Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts.
Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies!
Enjoy GuiltFREE! deserts and ease off any excess weight!
LOOSE weight and enjoy the goodies without guilt!
Included Bonus books: "Better Breads" and "Awesome Appetizers"
60 Day money back Guarantee!
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her
idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends.
"The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company.
He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain.
And stay home at night!"
An old granny overheard and spoke up,
"Girl, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Researchers now say that most dogs can be trained to understand
more than 200 words. That gives them language skills equal to
apes, dolphins, and most politicians.
Today, March 8, in
1418 Jacoba van Bayern marries her cousin John IV van Brabant
1618 Johann Kepler discovered the third Law of Planetary Motion.
1702 England's Queen Anne took the throne upon the death of
King William III.
1855 A train passed over the first railway suspension bridge
at Niagara Falls, NY.
1862 The Confederate ironclad "Merrimack" was launched.
1880 U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes declared that the
United States would have jurisdiction over any canal
built across the isthmus of Panama.
1887 The telescopic fishing rod was patented by Everett Horton.
1905 In Russia, it was reported that the peasant revolt was
spreading to Georgia.
1907 The British House of Commons turned down a women's suffrage bill.
1910 The King of Spain authorized women to attend universities.
1911 British Minister of Foreign Affairs Edward Gray declared
that Britain would not support France in the event of a
military conflict. They did anyway.
1917 Russia's "February Revolution" began with rioting and
strikes in St. Petersburg. The revolution was called the
"February Revolution" due to Russia's use of the Old Style
calendar.
1921 French troops occupied Dusseldorf, Germany.
1933 Self-liquidating scrip money was issued for the first
time at Franklin, IN.
1941 Martial law was proclaimed in Holland in order to extinguish
any anti-Nazi protests.
1942 During World War II, Japanese forces captured Rangoon, Burma.
1943 Japanese forces attacked American troops on Hill 700 in
Bougainville. The battle lasted five days.
1946 The French naval fleet arrived at Haiphong, Vietnam.
1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that religious instruction
in public schools was unconstitutional.
1953 A census bureau report indicated that 239,000 farmers
had quit farming over the last 2 years.
1959 Groucho, Chico and Harpo made their final TV appearance together.
1965 The U.S. landed about 3,500 Marines in South Vietnam. They were
the first U.S. combat troops to land in Vietnam.
1966 Australia announced that it would triple the number of troops
in Vietnam.
1982 The U.S. accused the Soviets of killing 3,000 Afghans
with poison gas.
1989 In Lhasa, Tibet, martial law was declared after three days
of protest against Chinese rule.
1999 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the conviction of Timothy McVeigh
for the bombing of a federal building in Oklahoma City in 1995.
1999 The White House, under President Bill Clinton, directed the
firing of nuclear scientist Wen Ho Lee from his job at the
Los Alamos National Laboratory. The firing was a result of
alleged security violations.
2005 In norther Chechnya, Chechen rebel leader Aslan Maskhadov was
killed during a raid by Russian forces.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 883 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 702 )
Thursday, March 7, 2013, 11:40 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, March 7
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no
more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is
happier than a sober one.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he
needed a haircut before his meeting tomorrow, he called
down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the
premises.
"I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically,
"but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that
should serve your purposes."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine,
inserted $15, and stuck his head into the opening, at which
time the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen seconds
later, he pulled out his head and look in the mirror, and saw
the best haircut of his life. "Would wonders never
cease! This futuristic stuff is amazing," he thought.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,
"Manicures $10."
"Why not?" he thought. He paid the money, inserted his hands
into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen
seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly
manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, "Machine provides a
service men need when away from their wives, 50 Cents."
"Oh, man.... do I ever need that!" He looked both ways, put
fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some
anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, he let out a shriek of
agony and almost passed out.
Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, he was
able to withdraw his member
which now had a button neatly sewn on the end.
"So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you
got any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?"
"Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year
I had two short stories published in national magazines,
and I finished my novel."
"Very impressive," he commented, "but I was thinking of
skills you could apply during office hours."
Mrs. Smith explained brightly, "Oh, I wrote them during
office hours."
Thanks to Sailor for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
Sailor's garden shed
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Jamie Jeanette Craft
Woman charged with DWI after trying
to drive off in toy truck
Reported by the Huffington Post
A Jonesboro woman was arrested on DWI charges after police
say she slammed into a mobile home then tried to leave the
scene of the accident in a child’s battery-operated truck.
Jamie Jeanette Craft, 29, is also charged with public
intoxication, refusal to submit, disorderly conduct,
leaving the scene of an accident with property damage
and driving while license cancelled, suspended or revoked.
Just 5:30 p.m. Sunday officers were called to 4303 Aggie
Road. According to a witness, Craft was traveling at a
“high rate of speed” when her 2001 Pontiac Grand Am rounded
a corner and hit the under panel of his trailer.
Another witness told police that Craft, who was dressed in a
white sweat shirt with no pants or shoes on, began
yelling at him. According to the police report, she grabbed
the man’s daughter and got into his son’s Power Wheels truck.
The man told police he grabbed his children and took them to
his parent’s house. When he came back out he said Craft was
still in the toy truck “trying to drive it.”
After he and his father made her get out of the truck, the
man told police she began yelling and walked to her mother’s
house.
That’s where police found her when they arrived. They say
she was also “irate and very intoxicated.”
Officer Scott Byrd administered a portable breathalyzer
test to Craft. “Because she could barely stand,” he and
Officer Cody Coley had to hold her shoulders “so that
she would not fall over,” according to Byrd’s report.
Byrd reported the PBT gave a reading of .217 blood alcohol
content, which is nearly three times the legal limit.
During the investigation, Officer Coley reported Craft
“started to yell and scream.” She continued to scream after
she was placed into custody and began to kick the door of
his police car, he reported.
Craft “continued to be very disorderly and uncooperative”
once she arrived at Craighead County Detention Center,
according to the report. She put on a nce smile for the
mug-shot, though.
Craft was left at the jail in lieu of $2,067 surety bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Julie
Re: Image stabilizer
Dear Webby
I have seen some cameras advertised that claim to have
an image stabilizer. Does that really work, or is it just
hype? If it DOES work, how does it work? I have always
been told, even by you, that for long zoom shots there is
no substitute for a sturdy tripod.
Julie
Dear Julie
An image stabilizer takes an average of a few microseconds
of jittering around and electronically locks that for a
second or two.
It works great for long distance landscape pictures at high
zoom, but is not so good for fast action shots. If you, for
example want to take pictures of a fast basketball game,
get in closer, use less zoom, and turn the image stabilizer
off.
Use it for slow moving animals like alligators, turn it off
for butterflies and humming birds.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Kool-Aid to Dye Easter Eggs
Instead of using expensive Easter egg dye kits use packets
of Kool-Aid instead. It's much less expensive and you don't
have to end up with all of the doo dads included in each
dye kit package that you'll probably not use. All you need
to do is mix one packet of Kool-Aid with 3/4 cup warm water
in small glass bowls.
For colors the following Kool-Aid flavors work the best:
red = cherry
orange = orange
yellow = lemonade plus a little bit of orange
green = lime
blue = berry blue
By Deeli
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
GuiltFREE!
Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural,
Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts.
Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies!
Enjoy GuiltFREE! deserts and ease off any excess weight!
LOOSE weight and enjoy the goodies without guilt!
Included Bonus books: "Better Breads" and "Awesome Appetizers"
60 Day money back Guarantee!
A passenger in Rusty's taxi tapped him on the shoulder to
ask him a question.
Rusty screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus,
went up on the bank, and stopped six inches from a large
window.
For a moment everything went quiet in the cab, then Rusty
said, "Look man, don't ever do that again. You scared the
daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize
that a little tap would scare you so much."
Rusty calmed down a little and replied, "Sorry, it's not
really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver -
I've been driving a funeral hearse for the last 25 years."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
One day a mother took her 6-year-old son with her to visit
a friend at work. Everyone there knew her, and she was
offered a cup of coffee. That day, as one of the employees
went to make more coffee, her son followed her and asked,
"What are you doing?"
"I'm making your mom's favorite drink," she answered.
Imagine the woman's shock when she heard her son say, "Wow!
You know how to make beer?"
Today, March 7, in
-0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died.
1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce.
1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men
massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners.
1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed.
1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved.
1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing machine.
1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent for his telephone.
1901 It was announced that blacks had been found enslaved
in parts of South Carolina.
1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok.
1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot
a black man accused of murder.
1906 Finland granted women the right to vote.
1908 Cincinnati's mayor, Mark Breith announced before
the city council that, "Women are not physically fit
to operate automobiles."
1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker.
1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S.
sent 20,000 troops to the border of Mexico.
1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany.
1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia.
1933 The board game Monopoly was invented.
1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph
in Florida.
1936 Hitler sent German troops into the Rhineland (German
s[eaking areas taken by France after WWI) in violation of
the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles.
1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea.
1945 During World War II, U.S. forces crossed the Rhine River
at Remagen, Germany.
1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway launched
Operation Ripper against the Chinese.
1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey
competition. Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world
ice-hockey title in Stockholm, Sweden.
1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end.
1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos.
1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II
massacre in Katyn.
1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke
fun at an original work can be considered "fair use" that
does not require permission from the copyright holder.
2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than
$88 million in damages. The ruling was the latest in a
legal battle over the estate of Smith's late husband,
J. Howard Marshall II.
2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching for extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida.
2012 The successor to Apple's iPad2 was unveiled.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 505 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3.1 / 699 )
Wednesday, March 6, 2013, 11:07 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, March 6
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
--- Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957)
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas
must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
-- H. L. Mencken
..and misquoted and held against him by the media,
and anybody who did not do their homework.
From Peter
Hi
Thought the funnies below may be of interest to you -
they may not be new, but they do raise a smile.
========================================================================
Thinking of you, I recently had a lens graft for my right eye,
to replace an earlier graft starting to reject.
I originally had the lenses in both eyes replaced with
grafts in 1996 - as a result almost losing my vision from
Fuchs’ endothelial dystrophy.
Peter
Australia
=======================================================================
HOLY ORDERS
Church Ladies
With typewriters.
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get
rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell'
to someone who doesn't care much about you...
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,'
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24
in the church. So ends a friendship that began in
their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of
some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come
prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall
after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for
the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm.
Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet
in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is
invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign
slogan last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".
Thanks to Ellie for this:
My dry cleaner very generously provides a stack of free news-
papers for his customers.
As I took my copy, I told him, "I hope the business grows
enough to offset the cost of the papers."
"Oh, don't worry about us," he chuckled... "Nothing dirties
clothes more than newsprint."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Mary Maloney, 53,
Teacher, Offers Oral Sex To Police
Officer After Hit-And-Run Charge
Reported by the Huffington Post
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered
oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a
hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.
Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van
into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off,
according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel.
A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's van to a parking
spot and then called police.
The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug
of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately
smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting
from her person," according to WPTV. The report states
that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially
closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted
that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just
let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"
She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and
allow him to play with her breasts.
Maloney was charged with driving under the influence,
leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an
officer without violence, driving with a suspended license
and attempted bribery of a public servant.
A spokesman for the Palm Beach County school district told
WPBF that the teacher could potentially be suspended or
terminated, depending on how her case turns out.
Maloney was convicted of a DUI in 2009, and was arrested on
a battery charge, then later on a charge of probation
violation, in 2010.
Tech Support Pits
From: Eloise
Re: Sorting in WORD
Dear Webby
Once upon a time, long, long ago, you told us how to
quickly sort a list in WORD. Unfortunately, at the time I
did not need that and did not pay attention. Can you
please tell me again?
Thanks
Eloise
Dear Eloise
Highlight what you want to sort,
hit ALT F9 (or click on TOOLS, SORT,
then choose if you want to sort the lines or paragraphs.
If you are sorting email addresses that are one address
per line, select LINE. If you are sorting physical addresses
that are 4 or 5 lines per contact, make sure you have a
paragraph break (empty line) between each address block.
If your sort task spans many pages, it's usually best to
temporarily copy the data to be sorted to a new file,
sort it there, and then copy it back into the original
document.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Mama's Belly Butter
To avoid stretch marks while pregnant, make 4 ounces of
Mama's belly butter.
Ingredients:
1/2 cup cocoa butter
2 Tbsp. wheat germ oil
2 tsp. sesame seed oil
2 tsp. apricot kernel oil
2 tsp. vitamin E oil
4 tsp. grated beeswax
2 tsp. vanilla extract
Directions:
Put all ingredients in saucepan, except vanilla. Warm over
low heat until cocoa butter and beeswax are melted. Stir well.
Remove from heat stir and in vanilla. Cool briefly.
Pour into glass jar. Leave lid off until completely cool.
Source: A magazine but I cannot remember which one.
By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
GuiltFREE!
Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural,
Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts.
Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies!
Enjoy GuiltFREE! deserts and ease off any excess weight!
LOOSE weight and enjoy the goodies without guilt!
Included Bonus books: "Better Breads" and "Awesome Appetizers"
60 Day money back Guarantee!
It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged mother, but John
felt that he must: "Mom, you're no longer a spring chicken and you do
need to think ahead of what'll happen in the future. Why don't we make
arrangements about when...you know...when...you pass on?"
The mother didn't say anything, just sat there staring ahead.
"I mean, Mom, like...how do you want to finally go? Do you want to be
buried? Cremated?"
There was yet another long pause. Then the mother looked up and said,
"Son, why don't you surprise me?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married
son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was
shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch,
totally naked, soft music was playing and the aroma of
perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the
daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained.
"It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this
dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravishes me for
hours on end. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed,
showered,put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put
on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her
husband to arrive.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her
lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
His funeral will be held next Thursday
Today, March 6, in
1521 Magellan discovered Guam.
1834 The city of York in Upper Canada was
incorporated as Toronto.
1836 The thirteen-day siege of the Alamo by Santa Anna and
his army ended. The Mexican army of three thousand men
defeated the 189 Texas volunteers.
1854 At the Washington Monument, several men stole the Pope's
Stone from the lapidarium.
1899 Aspirin was patented by German researchers Felix Hoffman
and Hermann Dreser.
1928 A Communist attack on Peking, China resulted in
3,000 dead and 50,000 fled to Swatow.
1939 In Spain, Jose Miaja took over the Madrid government
after a military coup and vowed to seek "peace with honor."
1944 During World War II, U.S. heavy bombers began the first
American raid on Berlin. Allied planes dropped 2000 tons
of bombs.
1946 Ho Chi Minh, the President of Vietnam, struck an agreemen
with France that recognized his country as an autonomous
state within the Indochinese Federation and the French Union.
1947 The first air-conditioned naval ship, "The Newport News,"
was launched from Newport News, VA.
1957 The British African colonies of the Gold Coast and
Togoland became the independent state of Ghana.
1960 Switzerland granted women the right to vote in municipal
elections.
1960 The United States announced that it would send 3,500
troops to Vietnam.
1970 Charles Manson released his album "Lies" to finance
his defense against murder charges.
1973 U.S. President Richard Nixon imposed price controls
on oil and gas.
1975 Iran and Iraq announced that they had settled their
border dispute.
1980 Islamic militants in Tehran said that they would
turn over American hostages to the Revolutionary Council.
1981 U.S. President Reagan announced a plan to cut 37,000
federal jobs.
1987 The British ferry Herald of Free Enterprise capsized
in the Channel off the coast of Belgium. 189 people died.
1990 The Russian Parliament passed a law that sanctioned the
ownership of private property.
1991 In Paris, five men were jailed for plotting to smuggle
Libyan arms to the Irish Republican Army.
1997 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II launched the first official
royal Web site.
1998 A Connecticut state lottery accountant gunned down three supervisors and the lottery chief before killing himself.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 239 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 805 )
Tuesday, March 5, 2013, 11:24 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, March 5
From Tim Trask, long time friend and famous sculptor:
Hello Everyone
We are in the first phase of raising money for the
Buffalo Soldier Memorial! Please go to the following website
on Indiegogo For Duty and Country
Donate if you can, at least like, and share this with others.
Help us to get this project off the ground.
Tim Trask
By the way, the 8 foot tall Wyatt Earp bronze statue in
Tombstone, Arizona, is typical of Tim's work. Here he is
still working on the form:
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
--- George Burns
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his
four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl
was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the
pumpkin turns into a golden coach.
Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into
a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-
term capital gain?"
Fifty-one years ago Herman James, a Tennessee Mountain Man,
was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in Basic, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Nathan Wells and Joshua Granger, Evangeline Parish, Louisiana
Jailed After Sexually Abusing Dog,
Posting Video Of The Act Online
Reported by the Weekly Vice
Evangeline Parish residents Nathan Wells and Joshua Granger
have been jailed after they engaged in sexual acts with a
Siberian Husky, recorded the encounters and then shared the
abusive video over the Internet.
According to the Evangeline Parish Sheriff's Office, an
investigation was launched after the Humane Society of Louisiana
received a tip about the abuse. The information was then
forwarded to the Louisiana State Police Sex Crimes Unit.
When detectives interviewed Wells and Granger at their residence,
the two men admitted to videotaping the acts and sharing it online.
The victim, a Siberian Husky named "Nyla," received no serious
internal injuries and will soon be available for adoption,
according to HSL director Jeff Dorson.
Wells and Granger were booked into the Evangeline Parish Jail
and charged with crimes against nature. Both men were released
after posting a 7,500 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Brenda
Re: Wireless Connectivity
Dear Webby
I am used to using the wireless modem in my laptop to
connect to hotels where I am staying, and am fairly
comfortable with the procedure. However, now and then
it happens that I connect to the hotel's router, and see
good signal strength, but can't get anywhere. What
do you recommend in those cases?
Brenda
Dear Brenda
Get your money back and go to a better hotel.
They gambled on a 4 station router being enough, and
you were #5. They rarely admit that and that type of hotel
usually tries to blame it on your computer.
It is NOT your computer's fault, and not your settings.
Do not let them talk you into changing your settings,
and don't let them waste your time, while they hope that
somebody will log off. Just demand your money back
and go to a better hotel.
Without messing with your settings, you can usually
get better connectivity from the parking lot of a Holiday Inn,
than from the lobby of for example a Baymont Inn.
When enough people smarten up and demand their money
back, they will eventually get more routers and stop
trying to blame you.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Save Store Gift Cards For Big Purchases
If you shop at Target or any other stores that have the
promotional "get a gift card with purchase of this item",
save your gift cards (someplace you won't forget or lose
them, like I tend to do) until the amount builds enough
for you to buy a big item - preferably around the
holidays.
A friend of mine shops at the Target sales frequently.
Quite often they have a sale where you get a $5 gift card
for buying an item. Two years ago she started saving her
gift cards in January. By December, she had enough saved
to get her family an xBox 360 for less than $30 out of
pocket! They never would have been able to afford one any
other way! I thought this was a great idea, so I've been
saving my own gift cards, instead of using them on my
next purchase!
By lyonpridej from Oklahoma
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
re yesterday's dummer...
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A graduate in economics who completed his degree in the 1950's
returned to his old university for a visit. He was amazed to
see that the examination questions were identical to the ones
asked in his day.
When he pointed this out to a member of staff, he replied,
"That's true, but, of course, the answers are completely
different now."
Today, March 5, in
1461 Henry VI was deposed by Duke of York during War of the Roses
1496 English King Henry VII hires John Cabot to explore
1528 Utrecht Governor Maarten van Rossum plunders The Hague
1558 Smoking tobacco introduced in Europe by Francisco Fernandes
1623 The first alcohol temperance law in the colonies was
enacted in Virginia.
1624 In the American colony of Virginia, the upper class was
exempted from whipping by legislation.
1770 "The Boston Massacre" took place when British troops
fired on a crowd in Boston killing five people. Two British
troops were later convicted of manslaughter.
1793 Austrian troops defeated the French and recaptured Liege.
1836 Samuel Colt manufactured the first pistol (.34-caliber).
1842 A Mexican force of over 500 men under Rafael Vasquez
invaded Texas for the first time since the revolution. They
briefly occupied San Antonio, but soon headed back to the
Rio Grande.
1845 The U.S. Congress appropriated $30,000 to ship camels to
the western U.S.
1867 An abortive Fenian uprising against English rule took
place in Ireland.
1872 George Westinghouse patented the air brake.
1900 Two U.S. battleships left for Nicaragua to halt
revolutionary disturbances.
1901 Germany and Britain began negotiations with hopes of
creating an alliance.
1907 In St. Petersburg, Russia, the new Duma opened. 40,000
demonstrators were dispersed by troops.
1910 In Philadelphia, PA, 60,000 people left their jobs to
show support for striking transit workers.
1912 The Italians became the first to use dirigibles for military
purposes. They used them for reconnaissance flights behind Turkish
lines west of Tripoli.
1918 The Soviets moved the capital of Russia from Petrograd to Moscow.
1922 Phoebe Anne Oakley Mozee broke all existing records for
women's trap shooting. She hit 98 out of 100 targets.
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered a four-day bank
holiday in order to stop large amounts of money from being
withdrawn from banks.
1933 The Nazi Party won 44 percent of the vote in German
parliamentary elections.
1934 In Amarillo, TX, the first Mother's-In-Law Day was celebrated.
1946 Winston Churchill delivered his "Iron Curtain Speech".
1953 Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin died. He had been in power
for 29 years.
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court affirmed the ban on segregation
in public schools.
1970 A nuclear non-proliferation treaty went into effect
after 43 nations ratified it.
1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that cities had the right
to display the Nativity scene as part of their Christmas display.
1993 Cuban President Fidel Castro said that Hillary Clinton
is "a beautiful woman."
1998 NASA announced that an orbiting craft had found enough water
on the moon to support a human colony and rocket fueling station.
2004 Martha Stewart was found guilty of lying about the reason
for selling 3,298 shares of ImClone Systems stock, conspiracy,
making false statement and obstruction of justice.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 292 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 651 )
Monday, March 4, 2013, 09:46 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, March 4
Thank you, Allene!
March is not the beginning of spring in Alberta,
and Gullible Warming only applies in areas, where people
want to give Al Gore some money to administer.
A vicious blizzard reminded us of that fact.
Horizontal snowing, high snow drifts in some places
and bare grass showing in others. The windows on one side
are caked with snow, and on the other side of the house
I see a four foot high snow drift between the house and
the garage, and grass showing ten feet away from that.
I am not going to shovel that 4 foot deep snow drift.
Not yet, anyway. The wind would just replenish it in
ten minutes. Chances are good, that the wind will change,
and move that snow drift to the other side of the garage.
The RCMP closed the highways and told everybody to stay
at home, indoors, and not even think about driving anywhere.
For a change people seem to listen to them. There are no
tracks in the snow on 2nd Street and none on 4th Avenue
either. No traffic at all since Saturday evening.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
To find yourself jilted is a blow to your pride. Do your best
to forget it and if you don't succeed, at least pretend to.
--- Moliere (1622 - 1673)
Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot
of expense and aggravation later in life.
--- Robert Byrne
Thanks to Gina for this story:
When my youngest daughter was three, she begged to be
allowed to attend a concert with her older sister and brother.
She assured me she was a big girl and would behave herself.
As we took our seats in the orchestra hall, I handed programs
to the kids. Following the lead of her older siblings, my
three-year-old opened her program, and in her most grown-up
voice said, "Mommy, I'll have the chicken-balls, please."
A little boy runs up to his mother and shouts, "Mommy!
Mommy! I want to be a drummer when I grow up!"
The mother sweetly replies, "You can't do BOTH."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Hannah Steiner, 18, Jackson, Tennessee
Jailed for Raping 13-Year-Old Boy
Inside Church
Reported by the Weekly Vice
Hannah Steiner, an 18-year-old Tennessee female was jailed
Wednesday after she allegedly raped a 13-year-old boy at a
local church - just moments before Sunday services began.
According to Jackson Police, Steiner and the victim were
attending Skyline Church of Christ Sunday morning when the
alleged sexual encounter took place.
Investigators say the encounter started off with consensual
touching. When the boy felt things had gone far enough, he
attempted to stop. That's when Steiner allegedly forced him
to have sex.
During police interviews, Steiner and the victim both
confirmed the incident.
Steiner was booked into the Madison County Jail and charged
with rape and two counts of statutory rape. Her bail has been
set at $5,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Thomas
Re: Sort Favorites in IE
Dear Webby
I have a PC.Is there a way to arrange the favorite list in
alphabetical order?
Thanks
--Thomas
Dear Thomas
Yes, there IS an easy way, though Microsoft won't tell you.
They tell you to mess with the registry.
I found that if you right-click on the topmost grey menu bar
and take the checkmark off the STANDARD BUTTONS,
then instead of the favorites showing in a long list on the left
side, they pull down from the word FAVORITES.
Right click anywhere in there, and you will see the option
to sort.
After sorting, you can put the checkmark back onto
STANDARD BUTTONS, and the favorites will remain
nicely sorted for a while.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Get More Out of Your Apples
If you want to maximize the amount of fruit you can get
out of an apple, consider cutting it up before eating it.
First, cut the apple from top to bottom, from the stem end
to the blossom end. Using a small paring knife, cut a tiny
"v" shaped notch at the top and bottom of the cut halves,
removing the blossom end and stem. Then, using either your
small paring knife in a circular motion, or a small melon
baller, remove the center of each half, taking out the
seeds. You will be amazed at how little you have removed,
and how much edible portion you have left. Now you can cut
it up for use in a recipe or just for a healthy snack.
By Ginny
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend
and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in
the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we
talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue
after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said,
"only we see stars, too."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes
to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem; I make a mistake and then spend
three hours trying to find it."
Today, March 4, in
1152 Frederik I Barbarossa elected Roman-German king
1634 Samuel Cole opened the first tavern in Boston, MA.
1570 King Philip II bans foreign Dutch students
1681 England's King Charles II granted a charter to
William Penn for an area that later became the
state of Pennsylvania.
1813 The Russians fighting against Napoleon reached Berlin.
The French garrison evacuated the city without a fight.
1826 The first railroad in the U.S. was chartered. It was the
Granite Railway in Quincy, MA.
1861 The Confederate States of America adopted the
"Stars and Bars" flag.
1877 Emile Berliner invented the microphone.
1880 Halftone engraving was used for the first time when
the "Daily Graphic" was published in New York City.
1904 In Korea, Russian troops retreated toward the Manchurian
border as 100,000 Japanese troops advanced.
1914 Doctor Fillatre successfully separated Siamese twins.
1954 In Boston, Peter Bent Brigham Hospital reported the first
successful kidney transplant.
1975 Queen Elizabeth knighted Charlie Chaplin.
1997 U.S. President Clinton barred federal spending on human cloning.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that federal law banned
on-the-job sexual harassment even when both parties are
the same sex.
1999 Monica Lewinsky's book about her affair with U.S.
President Clinton went on sale in the U.S.
2002 Canada banned human embryo cloning but permitted
government-funded scientists to use embryos left over
from fertility treatment or abortions.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 836 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3.1 / 704 )
Sunday, March 3, 2013, 12:19 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, March 3
Europeans are still reeling from the horse meat "contaminated"
hamburgers, and suspiciously eying any youngster on a
bicycle, not sure whether they should hope or worry, that
he or she turn into a Lance Armstrong. After all, he DID
pedal up all those mountains and he DID raise over $100
million for cancer research and DID look after his parents.
While they are still all confused about that, the next
food scandal hit them. Some corn from Croatia was contaminated
with some fungus, that COULD cause cancer in mice.
Wasn't that LSD, that the North Americans grooved to in the
60's and 70's, and that the Europeans freaked out on in the
80's, based on some kind of grain fungus?
Naturally, their media are taking advantage of it all and
are busy agitating the stress puppies.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
--- Karen Sunde
Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?
--- Frank Scully
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the
most fatal to true happiness.
--- Bertrand Russell
The 5 Scariest Things in the Army!
1. A Private saying, "I learned this in basic training..."
2. A Sergeant saying, "Trust me, sir..."
3. A Second Lieutenant saying, "Based on my experience..."
4. A Captain saying, "I was just thinking..."
5. And a Warrant Officer chuckling, "Y'all watch this $%!#..."
From Nana
Please bring the Spellchecker song again!
Nana
OK, here it is:
Ode to the spellchecker
Eye halve a spelling checker
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marks four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
and weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My checker tolled me sew.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Michael Stout, 19, Wright City, Missouri
Jailed for Stealing Large Number Of Panties,
Sex Toys And Used Tampons From Women's Homes
Reported by the Weekly Vice
Michael Stout, a 19-year-old Wright City bonehead,
was jailed after he allegedly stole a large number
of panties, sex toys and used tampons from area women.
According to Wright City Police, officers were dispatched
to a Wright City residence after Stout burglarized the home
without realizing that a 16-year-old girl was still inside.
Investigators say the girl, who was staying home sick from
school, called her mother at 10:15 a.m. and informed her
that someone had broken into the house. The mother
immediately called police.
The girl then fled the home, jumped into a car parked on the
side of the house and then began honking the horn.
She saw a man, later identified as Stout, fleeing from the
home.
Arriving officers used canine units to search a wooded area
near the victim's home. The canine units led officers to Stout's
residence where he lives with his mother.
Detectives searched Stout's room and recovered 59 pairs of
women's underwear, various sex toys and a number of used
tampons. Police believe the stolen items belonged to at least
four women who also live in the area. Some of the items in
Stout's possession belonged to the 16-year-old victim.
Stout was booked into jail and charged with four counts
of burglary, four counts of stealing, and one count of
property damage. His bond was set at $100,000 cash-only.
Tech Support Pits
From: Many
Re: Text Edit for Mac
DEAR WEBBY,
thank you very much for all your help. I was able to,
following your advice, to download my poems and storied
to a flash drive, now i'll take them to my library
and print them all, them go to FEDEX OFFICE to make
additional copies.
I have another QUESTION, am unable to find WORD PAD
on our APPLE all in one, do you know where i should look?
Again, thanks forr all your help, if we weren't so
short all the time i'd be sending some funds your way.
Maybe later we'll have extra.
your friend ED.
From Ric Lee
In response to Ed's question about Word Pad for the Mac:
Like windows, there is a simple text program.
It's called Text Edit. It usually is in the pop up
applications bar.
Ric Lee
-----------------
From Gary
Re: your freind Ed and wordpad for Mac..
the mac is a pretty weird set-up until you get used to it,
but it does have an incredibly user freindly word program
called "Text Edit". When I got my iMac, it took me a
while to find all the common thing it had built in and
how to access the programs that weren't on my desk top.
Mac has a thing called "Launchpad" in the quick satrt
toolbar at the bottom of the desktop. The Launchpad icon
is a little spaceship. If you click on that you'll see
all of the programs that are installed on your machine.
You can actually flip through pages of them as you get
more stuff in your Mac.
Text Edit is one of the factory installed programs and
works just like Micro-Slop WordPad, it's just easier and
more user freindly. MS Office and Open office will both
open the files created on Text Edit. TE saves them as an
.rtfd file, which I have had no problems sending to my
work computer and opening with Office 2010..
the only thing I have had problems with is when I try
to insert a picture into a text document... then word
sees the insertion as a reference to a document on my
home computer...
Hope that helps Ed.
Gary
------------------
From Samantha
Tell Ed to look for "Text Edit"
It is fairly easy to use, as long as you don't go outside
of your machine. Nobody else can read it.
You have to pick up the wacky .rtfd files with Open Office
or Microsoft Office and save them in a more portable format
before you send them to anybody.
To make the files really and properly portable and readable
by anybody, and printable by anybody, save them as PDF.
That way all your formatting is nailed down and NO program
will mess it up, no matter on what kind of machine.
Samantha
-------------------------
From Donovan
The WordPad equivalent for Mac is called TextEdit. If you
click on the magnifying glass in the top, right corner
and type TextEdit, it will pop up. You should also be
able to find it in the Applications folder.
Donovan
Hope that helps!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Starting Seeds
March is a great time to start your vegetable and flower
seeds indoors. You can use any container. Here is how
I am doing mine.
I took the plastic lids off my storage boxes and filled
it with seed starting soil. I moistened the soil and laid
the seeds on top of the soil. I am getting a bumper crop.
Keep them moist and in the sun. On warm days, they go on
the porch. Tomatoes grow quickly. In May, they all go
outside.
I am a do it myself person and made this method up.
It works.
By bali from Summerhill, PA
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
The priest was instructing a class of third-graders at All
Saints grammar school. He said, "There were two brothers,
and one of them chose the wicked path of Satan. The brother
was evil and corrupt and did great damage to many people,
and wound up a convicted criminal in a tiny, dark cell. But,
the other brother studied hard and became a great, rich,
knowledgeable politician. Now, children, what is the
difference between these two brothers, who started out in
the same place, who together embarked upon life's stormy
seas?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and said,
"Easy. One of them learned not to get caught."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Jones sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. The
wife decided to drive me to the station. She got ready in ten
minutes, but then the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let
you down, I swam across the river -- look, my suit´s still
damp -- ran out to the airport, got a ride on Mr. Thompson´s
helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music Hall, and was
carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes."
"You'll have to do better than that, Jones," said the boss,
obviously disappointed. "No woman can get ready in ten
minutes."
Today, March 3, in
0078 Origin of Saka Era (India)
0493 Ostrogoten King Theodorik the Great beats Odoaker
1409 Austrian civil war ends
1746 Bonnie Prince Charlie occupies Castle of Inverness
1776 US commodore Esek Hopkins occupies Nassau Bahamas
1817 The first commercial steamboat route from Louisville
to New Orleans was opened.
1857 Britain and France declared war on China.
1878 Russia and the Ottomans signed the treaty of San Stenafano.
The treaty granted independence to Romania, Serbia,
Montenegro, and the autonomy of Bulgaria.
1903 The U.S. imposed a $2 head tax on immigrants.
1904 Wilhelm II of Germany made the first recording of a
political document with Thomas Edison's cylinder.
1905 The Russian Czar agreed to create an elected assembly.
1906 A Frenchman tried the first flight in an airplane with tires.
1908 The U.S. government declared open war on on U.S. anarchists.
1909 Aviators Herring, Curtiss and Bishop announced that airplanes
would be made commercially in the U.S.
1918 The Treaty of Brest Litovsky was signed by Germany, Austria
and Russia. The treaty ended Russia's participation in World War I.
1931 The "Star Spangled Banner," written by Francis Scott Key,
was adopted as the American national anthem. The song was
originally a poem known as "Defense of Fort McHenry."
1939 In Bombay, Ghandi began a fast to protest the state's
autocratic rule.
1945 During World War II, Finland switched sides and declared
war on the Axis.
1952 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld New York's Feinberg Law
that banned Communist teachers in the U.S.
1956 Morocco gained its independence.
1973 Japan disclosed its first defense plan since World War II.
1985 Women Against Pornography awarded its ‘Pig Award’ to
Huggies Diapers. The activists claimed that the TV ads for
diapers had "crossed the line between eye-catching and porn."
1991 Rodney King was severely beaten by Los Angeles police officers.
The scene was captured on amateur video. (California)
1994 The Mexican government reached a peace agreement with the
Chiapas rebels.
1995 A U.N. peacekeeping mission in Somalia ended. Several gunmen
were killed by U.S. Marines in Mogadishu while overseeing the
pull out of peacekeepers.
1999 Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones began their attempt to
circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon non-stop. They
succeeded on March 20, 1999.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 1038 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 484 )
Saturday, March 2, 2013, 12:26 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, March 2
I should have cropped yesterday's picture.
Here it is:
Click through the pictrue for the bigger size
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The world is a tragedy to those who feel,
but a comedy to those who think.
--- Horace Walpole
People demand freedom of speech as a compensation
for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.
--- Soren Kierkegaard
Thanks to Ed for this:
While my wife and I were shopping at a mall, a shapely young
woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes
involuntarily followed her.
Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife
asked, "Was that worth the trouble you're in now?"
One Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the
children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and
pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the
children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Raleigh Reynolds, 25, Molalla, Oregon
Butt-Dialled into jail
Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver
Butt-dialing has led to many embarrassing situations,
but police say that for one Oregon drug dealer,
it could lead to jail.
Police in Molalla, a city near Portland, Ore., say they received
a phone call about a drug deal after one of the suspects sat on
her phone and accidentally dialed 911.
Using the phone's GPS signal, officers were led to an alley
just a block away from the police station.
The two suspects denied having a cell phone, but the officer
on scene spoke loudly and the emergency dispatcher confirmed
that she could hear him over the phone, a recording of the
911 call shows. The police said they found methamphetamine
when searching one of the suspects.
"Everybody had a good laugh, things are normally not that easy,"
said Sgt. Chris Long.
Raleigh Reynolds, 25, was arrested on felony drug charges of
possession and delivery. Dana Lucht, 25, was in possession
of less than one ounce of marijuana and was summoned to
appear in court, police said. No mugshot of her is available
at this time. Seems she got off with a warning.
Tech Support Pits
From: Ed
Re: WordPad for Mac
DEAR WEBBY,
thank you very much for all your help. I was able to,
following your advice, to download my poems and storied
to a flash drive, now i'll take them to my library
and print them all, them go to FEDEX OFFICE to make
additional copies.
I have another QUESTION, am unable to find WORD PAD
on our APPLE all in one, do you know where i should look?
Again, thanks forr all your help, if we weren't so
short all the time i'd be sending some funds your way.
Maybe later we'll have extra.
your friend ED.
Dear Ed
WordPad is a Windoze program.
You need to look for a Mac word processor.
I am sure they have one built in,
just like WordPad is built in with Windoze.
I have not been on a Mac since the late 80's
and am not familiar with their current software.
I searched on the net and found Open Office For Mac
http://openoffice-mac.en.softonic.com/mac/download
That might be a bit more than what you need, but if your
machine can handle it, go for it!
I have been using Open Office for many years, and I would
imagine the Mac version is just as stable and reliable
as the Linux and Windows versions are.
It has not only a world class Word Processor, but also
spreadsheet, PPS viewer/editor, and all kinds of other
stuff included.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keeping Your Garbage Disposal In Mint Condition
Garbage disposals not only get really stinky if you don't
maintain them, the blades will also go dull. Here's is a
fast and easy way to eliminate odors and sharpen the
blades.
Throw two lemon wedges and a cup of ice in the disposal.
Turn on the cold water and turn on the disposal. The lemon
will help with the bad odors and the ice helps to get
those blades sharp!
By attosa from Los Angeles, CA
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A couple hired a maid to cook and do housework.
She worked out fine, till one day, after about six months,
she said she would have to quit.
"But why?" asked the disappointed wife.
She said: "Well on my day off a couple of months ago I met
this good-looking fellow from over in the next county,
and well, I'm pregnant."
The wife said, "Look, we don't want to lose you. My husband
and I don't have children, and we'll adopt your baby if
you will stay."
She talked to her husband; he agreed, and they adopted the
baby.
All went well, but soon the maid was pregnant again.
The wife talked to her husband, and they adopted baby two.
Soon it happened again. They made the same offer, and
adopted the third baby.
She worked for a week or two after that, but then said,
"I am definitely leaving this time."
"Don't tell me you're pregnant again?" asked the wife.
"No," she said, "there are just to many kids here to
pick up after."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Thanks to Sparks for this story:
Two airmen were driving across country on leave. They come
to a Marine Corps base and decide to visit. They approach
the gate and the Marine Guard walks up to the driver's
window, and taps on it with his nighstick.
The driver rolls down the window, and the Marine smacks
him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, "Why'd you do that?
The Marine says, "You're on a United States Marine Corps
Base, son. When I come up to your car, you'll have your
ID card ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, We're in the Air Force, and we
didn't know."
The Marine examines the I.D. card and gives it back to the
driver. The Marine walks around to the passenger side
and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window
down, and the Marine smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The Marine says,"Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The Marine says, "I know that as soon as you pull away
you're gonna say, 'I wish he would've tried that stuff
with me!'"
Today, March 2, in
0871 Battle at Marton: Ethelred van Wessex beats Danish
invasion army
1776 Americans begin shelling British troops in Boston
1789 Pennsylvania ends prohibition of theatrical performances
1799 Congress standardizes US weights & measures
1807 Congress bans slave trade effective January 1, 1808
1836 Texas declared its independence from Mexico and an
ad interim government was formed.
1866 Excelsior Needle Company began making sewing machine
needles.
1877 In the U.S., Rutherford B. Hayes was declared the winner
of the 1876 presidential election by the U.S. Congress.
However, Samuel J. Tilden had won the popular vote on
November 7, 1876.
1897 U.S. President Cleveland vetoed legislation that would
have required a literacy test for immigrants entering
the country.
1901 The U.S. Congress passed the Platt amendment, which
limited Cuban autonomy as a condition for withdrawal of
U.S. troops.
1903 The Martha Washington Hotel opened for business in
New York City. The hotel had 416 rooms and was the first
hotel exclusively for women.
1907 In Hamburg, Germany, dock workers went on strike after
the end of the night shift. British strike breakers were
brought in. The issue was settled on April 22, 1907.
1908 In Paris, Gabriel Lippmann introduced three-dimensional
color photography at the Academy of Sciences.
1917 The Russian Revolution began with Czar Nicholas II
abdicating.
1917 Citizens of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship
1933 The motion picture King Kong had its world premiere
1946 Ho Chi Minh was elected President of Vietnam.
1949 The B-50 Superfortress Lucky Lady II landed in
Fort Worth, TX. It had completed the first non-stop
around-the-world flight.
1969 In Toulouse, France, the supersonic transport Concorde
made its first test flight.
1989 Representatives from the 12 European Community nations
all agreed to ban all production of CFCs (chlorofluorocarbons)
by the end of the 20th century.
1995 Russian anti-corruption journalist Vladislav Listyev
was killed by a gunman in Moscow.
1998 Images from the American spacecraft Galileo indicated
that the Jupiter moon Europa has a liquid ocean and a source
of interior heat.
2004 NASA announced that the Mars rover Opportunity had
discovered evidence that water had existed on Mars
in the past.
2011 Steve Jobs unveiled Apple's iPad 2.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 1245 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3.1 / 622 )
Friday, March 1, 2013, 11:43 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, March 1.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The higher the buildings, the lower the morals.
--- Noel Coward
The trouble with America is that there are far too many
wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
--- Charles Luckman
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right,
he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
--- Charles Wadsworth
There was a time when we expected nothing of our children
but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect
everything of them but obedience.
--- Anatole Broyard
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new
colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on
the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel
quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then
said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this
afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime,
thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young
enlisted man, he asked brusquely, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied,
"just here to hook up your telephone."
A private is on duty in the motor pool when the phone rings:
"Soldier, can you tell me what equipment is available for
use immediately?"
"Well, sir, we have two tanks, a half dozen half-tracks,
two armored personnel carriers, a couple of motorcycles,
and fat-ass Johnson's command jeep."
"Soldier? Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"No sir." "This is Major Johnson, your commander!"
"Uh Sir? Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"Not yet!"
"That's good! This is Beetle Bailey. Bye, Fat-Ass!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Now with 110% money back guarantee!
Click on the picture for the large version
This morning, at 07:25, when I saw that, I ran outside,
with nothing on but the camera, to get you that picture.
Too nice not to share!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Jalissa Baez, 19, reading, Pennsylvania
Jailed After Repeatedly Having Sex With
9-Year-Old Boy She Was Hired To Babysit
Reported by the Weekly Vice
Jalissa Baez, a 19-year-old Pennsylvania woman, was charged
Thursday after she allegedly had sex with a 9-year-old boy
she had been hired to babysit.
According to police, Baez was arrested following a six-month
long investigation into allegations that she repeatedly had
sex with a 9-year-old boy over a period of several months.
Investigators say Baez was hired to watch the boy while his
father was at work. The alleged sexual contact took place
on several occasions between March and June of last year.
Baez was booked into jail and charged with involuntary
deviate sexual intercourse with a child, indecent assault,
endangering the welfare of children, corruption of minors
and indecent exposure. Her bail has been set at $25,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Walter
Re: Pop-Ups
Hi dear Webby,
am I the only one who has been getting an ever increasing
number of pop-up ads, many with high pitched sound, that
seem to get around the 'no pop-up ads' which I have
enabled.
Your thoughts always would be much appreciated.
Be well, live long, and prosper.
Walter
Dear Walter
I don't have 'no pop-up ads' set up,
but have never seen those Pop-Up ads.
Maybe FireFox kills them automatically.
Which browser are you using?
Have you run a good virus scan lately?
Also, try running Spybot-Search&Destroy
from my Tool Box. Quite possibly those
wacky Pop-Ups are in lieu of paying for
some program, that you downloaded.
Since "agreed to" payment scams can not
be removed by regular virus scans, you
have to use a different approach. Try to
find out who serves those ads.
Then I can search for a way to get out
of that scam.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
DIY Bleach Gel Pen
In a saucepan, add 2 Tbsp. of cornstarch to 1 cup of water.
Stir until dissolved. Place mixture on the stove and stir
until it comes to a boil. Turn off stove. The mix will become
really thick. Let it cool completely.
Then add 5-6 Tbsp. of bleach. It will turn into a gel. If it's
thicker or thinner, just adjust water and cornstarch until you
get the result you are looking for. Pour mix into an empty
squeeze bottle for dispensing. So much cheaper and works great.
By coville123
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop.
They were both just getting finished with their shaves-the
barbers were reaching for some after-shave to slap on their
faces. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me!
My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put
it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse
smells like.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's
try it again.
Officer: Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!
Today, March 1, in
1498 Vasco de Gama landed at what is now Mozambique
on his way to India.
1562 In Vassy, France, Catholics massacred over 1,000 Huguenots.
1692 In Salem Village, in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, the Salem
witch trials began. Four women were the first to be charged.
1784 In Great Britain, E. Kidner opened the first cooking school.
1810 Sweden became the first country to appoint an Ombudsman,
Lars August Mannerheim.
1811 Egyptian ruler Mohammed Ali massacred the leaders of the
Mameluke dynasty.
1815 Napoleon returned to France from the island of Elba. He
had been forced to abdicate in April of 1814.
1845 U.S. President Tyler signed the congressional resolution
to annex the Republic of Texas.
1862 Prussia formally recognized the Kingdom of Italy.
1872 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of
Yellowstone National Park. It was the world's first
national park.
1873 E. Remington and Sons of Ilion, NY, began the
manufacturing the first practical typewriter.
1896 The Battle of Adowa began in Ethiopia between the
forces of Emperor Menelik II and Italian troops.
The Italians were defeated.
1907 In Odessa, Russia, there were only about 15,000 Jews left
due to evacuations.
1907 In Spain, a royal decree abolished civil marriages.
1907 In New York, Salvation Army opened anti-suicide bureau
1912 Captain Albert Berry made the first parachute jump
from a moving airplane.
1927 The Bank of Italy became a National Bank.
1937 U.S. Steel raised workers’ wages to $5 a day.
1937 In Connecticut, the first permanent automobile
license plates were issued.
1941 FM Radio began in Nashville, TN, when station
W47NV began operations.
1941 Bulgaria joined Axis powers by signing Tripartite Pact.
1947 The International Monetary Fund began operations.
1947 Chinese Premier T.V. Soong resigned.
1950 Klaus Fuchs was convicted of giving U.S. atomic secrets
to the Soviet Union.
1954 The United States announced that it had conducted a
hydrogen bomb test on the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
1959 Archbishop Makarios returned to Cyprus from exile.
1966 The Soviet probe, Venera 3 crashed on the planet Venus.
It was the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the surface of
another planet.
1966 Ghana ordered all Soviet, East German and Chinese technicians
to leave the country.
1988 Soviet troops were sent into Azerbaijan after ethnic riots
between Armenians and Azerbaijanis.
1989 In Washington, DC, Mayor Barry and the City council imposed a
curfew on minors.
1992 Bosnian Serb snipers fired upon civilians after a majority of
the Moslem and Croatian communities voted in favor of Bosnia's
independence.
1992 King Fahd of Saudi Arabia announced major political reforms
that ceded some powers after 10 years of disciplined rule.
1992 Bosnian Muslims and Croats voted to secede from Yugoslavia.
1993 The U.S. government announced that the number of food stamp
recipients had reached a record number of 26.6 million.
1994 Israel released about 500 Arab prisoners in an effort to
placate Palestinians over the Hebron massacre.
1995 The European Parliament rejected legislation that would have
allowed biotechnology companies to patent new life forms.
1995 Yahoo! was incorporated.
1999 The Angolan Embassy in Lusaka, Zambia, exploded. Four other
bombs went off in the capital.
1999 In Uganda, eight tourists were brutally murdered by
Hutu rebels.
2003 In the U.S., approximately 180,000 personnel from 22 different
organizations around the government became part of the Department
of Homeland Security. This completed the largest make-work project
since the beginning of the Cold War.
2003 Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by CIA and Pakistani agents
near Islamabad. He was the suspected mastermind behind the terrorist
attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 1928 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 537 )
Thursday, February 28, 2013, 09:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, February 28
Thank you Roswitha!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark;
the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
--- Plato
Thanks to dteeple for nringing back this classic:
Ever since i was a child, I've always had a fear of someone
under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him:
'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's
somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink.
'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to
get rid of those fears..'
'How much do you charge?'
'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor.
'I'll sleep on it,' I said..
Six months later the doctor met me on the street.
'Why didn't you come to see me about those fears
you were having?' he asked.
'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is
an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10.
I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and
bought me a new pickup!'
'Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said,
'and how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?'
'He told me to cut the legs off the bed! -
Ain't nobody under there now!!!'
Thabnks to Kim for this story:
The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office,
and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat
the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm
across the back of my seat.
I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic
light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became
obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering
him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell
you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Now with 110% money back guarantee!
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Tish Coleman, 31, Chicago, Ill
Jailed After Stabbing Cousin's Cat
To Death Following Family Spat
Tish Coleman, a 31-year-old Chicago female, was jailed Friday
after she allegedly stabbed her cousin's cat to death.
According to police, Coleman and her 26-year-old cousin were
arguing Friday night when Coleman allegedly punched her
cousin in the face and tore her shirt.
The cousin wrestled Coleman out onto the apartment's patio
and slammed the door shut, however, Coleman continued to
antagonize her cousin by creating a disturbance outside
the residence, according to an arrest affidavit.
A short time later, another woman entered the apartment
through the patio area - which allowed the victim's cat
to run outside.
When the victim went outside to look for her cat, she
discovered the animal laying on a nearby stairwell with
multiple stab wounds.
After police were called, officers located Coleman about a
block away from her cousin's apartment. During a search,
officers recovered a bloody Swiss pocket knife from
Coleman's purse.
Coleman was booked into jail and charged with aggravated
cruelty to an animal and domestic battery. Her bond has
been set at $75,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Kay
Re: Small Calendar
Dear Webby,
Good morning, hope all is well with you.
I was just checking your tool page looking for a very small
calendar to put on my desk top.
I didn't see one and was wondering if there is a site you
would recommend download one?
Thank you for all of your help.
Kay
Dear Kay
On the Tools page look for
Rainlendar
It is some ways down, because I had that link for probably
a dozen or more years.
If you use FireFox
hit CTRL F
and type
Rain
and it will find and highlight it.
When you run it the first time, close all other windows.
It IS quite small, and EXTREMELY polite.
In the d efault configuration, when not in use,
or moused over, it fades into the background, and you won't
see it.
There are tons of options in it, that you can set to your
preferences. Just don't reduce the "Transparency" to less
than 50%, otherwise you won't be able to see it on some
backgrounds.
Leave the "MouseOver" at 100% and don't reduce "Transparency"
too much. That way it will fade to almost invisible when
not in use, but come alive when moused over.
And set it to be "On Top"
Like that example, you can personalize it any which way,
and even have a number of "skins" to choose from. I use the
default skin, which is basically like glass. You see the
writing on top of totally transparent glass, and it will float
on top of whatever window is open in that area. You can drag
it around, of course, but it is just a calendar floating on top.
Windoze 7 tried to copy that trick, but just managed to
annoy people.
Rainlendar has a ToDo and an Events part. Birthdays and
Anniversaries go into the Events part.
If some part of Rainlendar annoys you, go into the options
and change it. You CAN.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Plastic Water Cups out of Soda Bottles
I have been taking the soda bottles, the little ones,
and removing the cap, squeezing them down, and cutting
across the top. Then I smooth out the top by cutting
it again. This provides me with a lot of plastic
drinking cups that are stronger than paper cups and
they are larger, and they won't break. We have been
enjoying them a great deal!
By Robyn
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every
hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere,"
he pleaded with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care
where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant --
an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be
glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores
so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in
the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him, "I'll take it."
The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-
eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.
"Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with
the other guy snoring?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time,"
said the Navy guy. "How'd you manage that?" asked the
manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the
room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss
on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat
up all night watching me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort
were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit.
Being an all male combat force, they decided to request
coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend.
The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that
arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their
most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then
said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of
the other kind ?"
Today, Feb 28, in
1844 - Several people were killed aboard the USS Princeton
when a 12-inch gun exploded.
1849 - Regular steamboat service to California via Cape Horn
arrived in San Francisco for the first time. The SS California
had left New York Harbor on October 6, 1848. The trip took
4 months and 21 days.
1854 - The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About
50 slavery opponents began the new political group.
1861 - The U.S. territory of Colorado was organized.
1885 - AT&T (American Telephone and Telegraph) was incorporated.
The company was capitalized on only $100,000 and provided
long distance service for American Bell.
1893 - Edward G. Acheson showed his patent for Carborundum.
1900 - In South Africa, British troops relieved Ladysmith,
which had been under siege since November 2, 1899.
1940 - The first televised basketball game was shown. The
game featured Fordham University and the University of
Pittsburgh from Madison Square Gardens in New York.
1953 - In a Cambridge University laboratory, scientists
James D. Watson and Francis H.C. Crick discovered the
double-helix structure of DNA.
1956 - A patent was issued to Forrester for a computer memory core.
1974 - The U.S. and Egypt re-established diplomatic relations
after a break of seven years.
1983 - "M*A*S*H" became the most watched television program
in history when the final episode aired.
1986 - Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme was assassinated
1993 - U.S. Federal agents raided the compound of an armed
religious cult in Waco, TX. The ATF had planned to arrest
the leader of the Branch Davidians, David Koresh, on federal
firearms charges. Four agents and six Davidians were killed
and a 51-day standoff followed.
1994 - NATO made its first military strike when U.S. F-16
fighters shot down four Bosnian Serb warplanes in violation
of a no-fly zone over central Bosnia.
1995 - The Denver International Airport opened after a
16-month delay.
1998 - Serbian police began a campaign to wipe out "terrorist
gangs" in the Yugoslav province of Kosovo.
2002 - In Ahmadabad, India, Hindus set fire to homes in a Muslim
neighborhood. At least 55 people were killed in the attack.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 1412 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 519 )
Wednesday, February 27, 2013, 12:41 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, February 27
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is
funnier.
--- Blore's Razor
A man who thinks he has a higher purpose can do terrible
things, even to those he professes to love.
--- Denise Mina
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid
end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
--- Dorothy Parker
An American tourist had visited all the usual sights.
He'd seen the Sydney Harbor and everything else but he
wanted to see the real Australia. So there he was on the
weekly rail motor out to Thargomindah. There wasn't
much to see. There was a drought on it was hot and the
wind was blowing dust everywhere.
He got off the train and made for the pub, sweating and
cursing as he swatted in vain at the clouds of files that
buzzed around him. The pub's only customer, a bloke in
a blue singlet, greeted him with a "G'day."
The American ordered a beer.
"Yank eh?" quizzed the Aussie.
"Sure am buddy" the Yank replied.
"Waddya think of this part of Australia, yank?"
the bloke asked.
"It's the @#$% a....hole of the world," the Yank
replied.
There was a five second pause as the local sucked
on his smoke. Then he asked: "You just passing through,
or going further up?"
Morris complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other
doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis."
The doctor calmly replied, " BS ! Just wait until the
autopsy, then you'll see that I was right."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Now with 110% money back guarantee!
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Jim Skursky, 36,
Jailed For Stealing Video Game Consoles
From Hospital While Visiting Severely
Injured Son
Jim Skursky, a 36-year-old Pennsylvania man, was jailed
Thursday after he allegedly broke into a cabinet and stole
several video game consoles while visiting his 5-year-old
son in the hospital.
According to police, Skursky's 5-year-old son was playing
with a lighter at Skursky's girlfriend's residence when he
accidentally caught his shirt on fire and was seriously
burned during the incident.
The boy was rushed to UPMC Mercy Hospital where he was
treated for serious burns to his chest, back, arms and neck.
The boy reportedly underwent surgery on Friday to repair
some of the damage with skin graphs.
Investigators say Skursky was visiting his son in the
hospital on Thursday when he reportedly broke into a metal
cabinet and stole Wii, Playstation and Xbox game consoles.
Skursky also allegedly stole several game controllers, placing
most of the items into a black garbage bag.
Hospital staff contacted police after they saw a game controller
in Skursky's pocket and learned that the hospital's game
consoles were missing from the cabinet.
Skursky was booked into the Allegheny County Jail and charged
with theft and criminal mischief.
Tech Support Pits
From: Bob
Re: Facebook Link
Hi Dear Webby,
with your seeming inexhaustible cyber world knowledge
can you explain and hopefully tell me how to correct
letters from jumping around when I type in Gmail in
Windows 7?
Be well, live long, and prosper.
Walter
-------------
Yes, Dear Webby,
I am using a Dell Laptop with the built in keyboard.
Be well, live long, and prosper.
Walter
Dear Walter
How did i guess?
Get yourself a decent mouse, preferably a 7 button mouse:
left, right
copy,paste
left scroll, right scroll
Enter
or whatever mouse you got lying around.
Then cut a piece of cardboard or plastic
to fit over that silly thumb pad below the keyboard.
The jumping cursor is because of your thumbs grazing
over that silly thumb pad, driving you nuts until you
either cut some cardboard to cover that, or else cut
off your thumbs.
By the way, you can also plug in a real keyboard.
I always do, and make a stand for the laptop, so that
it's screen is up as high as that of regular monitors.
No point turning into a hunched over little old man
before I have to.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Leave Notes On Bathroom Mirror
With a busy schedule, leaving notes and messages becomes a
'way of life'. I got tired of the kids 'not seeing' the
notes I left, so I came up with a way I knew they couldn't
miss. I use dry erase markers on their bathroom mirrors.
Everyone gets the messages now, and no making excuses
that they didn't see it! Wipes off so easy and no more
'missed' messages or excuses. I even write myself notes
sometimes. I've done this for years, now, and it works
for us.
By Patty from East Peoria, Illinois
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Her husband had passed on and the new widow was so
distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her
that her husband was just fine.
She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion
with her.
"Is there anything he needs ?" the distraught woman asked,
between tears.
The spiritualist went into a trance state, then replied,
"He says he'd love a package of cigarettes."
"I'll send a carton immediately." the woman said joyfully.
"But did he say where I should send them ?"
"No." replied the Seer somberly.
"But he didn't ask for matches."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A teacher in Los Angeles asked one of her pupils,
"What's the nation's capital?"
The reply was, "Washington DC."
After the teacher asked the pupil what 'DC' stood for, the
student added, "Dot com!"
Today, Feb 27, in
1700 The Pacific Island of New Britain was discovered.
1801 The city of Washington, DC, was placed under
congressional jurisdiction.
1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration.
1861 In Warsaw, Russian troops fired on a crowd protesting
Russian rule over Poland. Five protesting marchers were
killed in the incident.
1867 Dr. William G. Bonwill invented the dental mallet.
1883 Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling
machine.
1896 The "Charlotte Observer" published a picture of an X-ray
photograph made by Dr. H.L. Smith. The photograph showed a
perfect picture of all the bones of a hand and a bullet that
Smith had placed between the third and fourth fingers in the
palm.
1900 In South Africa, the British received an unconditional
surrender from Boer Gen. Piet Cronje at Paardeberg.
1933 The Reichstag, Germany's parliament building in Berlin,
was set afire. The Nazis accused Communist for the fire.
1939 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes.
1951 The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified,
limiting U.S. Presidents to two terms.
1973 The American Indian Movement occupied Wouned Knee in
South Dakota.
1981 Chrysler Corporation was granted an additional $400 million
in federal loan guarantees. Chrysler had posted a loss of
$1.7 billion in 1980.
1990 The Exxon Corporation and Exxon Shipping were indicted on
five criminal counts in reference to the 1989 Exxon Valdez
oil spill.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on television
that "Kuwait is liberated."
1997 In Ireland, divorce became legal.
1998 Britain's House of Lords agreed to give a monarch's
first-born daughter the same claim to the throne as any
first-born son. This was the end to 1,000 years of male
preference.
1999 Colin Prescot and Andy Elson set a new hot air balloon
endurance record when they had been aloft for 233 hours and
55 minutes. The two were in the process of trying to
circumnavigate the Earth.
1999 Nigeria returned to civilian rule when Gen. Olusegun
Obasanjo became the country's first elected president since
August of 1983.
2002 In Boston, twenty people working at Logan International
Airport were charged with lying to get their jobs or
security badges.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 973 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3.2 / 455 )
Tuesday, February 26, 2013, 01:13 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, February 26
Thank you Jim!
Re yesterday's picture:
In case you are interested, that waterfall picture
was taken in Croatia.
Bill Vlasak
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
When you don't know what to do, get still.
Get very still until you do know what to do.
--- Oprah Winfrey
Between two evils, I always pick the one I
never tried before.
--- Mae West
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others, whenever they go.
--- Oscar Wilde
Mom had been teaching her 3-year-old daughter to recite the
Lord's Prayer. The youngster dutifully repeated it after
her mother at bed time for several nights.
One night, the girl insisted she was ready to pray "solo,"
so her mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
every word.
The mother was a bit exasperated and knew they needed to
work on it some more as her daughter ended the prayer:
"And lead us not into temptation," the youngster prayed,
"but deliver us some email. Amen."
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next
enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think
they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "Probably about a hundred feet, unless
somebody locks the gate at night!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Now with 110% money back guarantee!
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Rasoul Speight, 32, New Jersey
Jailed for carrying 100 bags of heroin
in his anus.
Rasoul Speight, a Bloods gang member, is facing a narcotics
charge after New Jersey cops yesterday discovered a whopping
100 bags of heroin hidden in his anus, police report.
Speight, 32, was driving on the Palisades Interstate Parkway
when his 2005 Mitsubishi Lancer was pulled over during a
routine traffic stop. When cops detected the smell of marijuana
they asked for--and received--permission to search the car.
While investigators found “nothing of evidentiary value”
inside the vehicle, Speight and passenger Gary Sylak, 25,
were both arrested due to outstanding traffic warrants,
according to cops.
While Speight, seen above, was being processed at police headquarters, he “was found to be in possession of 100 bags
of heroin which were concealed in his anus and undetectable
at the scene.” Police estimated the heroin’s vale at $1000
in New York City, and $2000 in upstate New York,
“where both subjects were traveling to.”
Speight, who cops noted is “also listed as a Bloods gang
member,” was jailed in lieu of $38,500 bail on a pair of
felony drug counts.
Tech Support Pits
From: Bob
Re: Facebook Link
Hello Webby:
I think you have published this before, but could
you tell me how to insert the Facebook icon in a
page on my website? And, does Facebook charge to
have their icon on a website?? Thanks!!!
Bob
Dear Bob
Facebook does not charge for that, they even encourage you
to do that.
Go to your FaceBook page, your equivalent of https://www.facebook.com/DearWebby
and copy that URL.
Then find a suitable FaceBook button, like for example
the one Ophelia made for her site at http://dingbatter.com
and copy that button picture. She won't mind.
You can, of course, also make your own button, or resize
hers to suit your page.
Then simply put that button on your page, and link it to
the URL of your facebook page, that you copied earluer.
That is all there is to it.
There is some silly convoluted way that FaceBook used
to recommend, but that is not necessary at all.
A simple link button works just fine.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Freeze Cookie Dough in a Juice Can
To save time, when making cookie dough, make at least one
extra batch. Divide the extra batch, and put into clean
frozen juice cans, covering the open end with foil, and
freeze. When you want to bake cookies, take out one of the
cans, open the other end and push out the dough through
the can. Slice with a sharp knife, place rounds on cookie
sheet, and bake. Fresh home made cookies in a jiffy!
By Jen
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, "what did you learn today?"
He answered, "The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt."
"How?"
The boy said "Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharoah
up. Then while he was down, he got all the people together
and ran towards the sea. When he got there, he has the
Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge. Once they got on
the other side, they blew up the bridge while the
Egyptians were trying to cross."
The father was shocked. "Is that what the Rabbi taught you?"
The boy replied, "No. But you would never believe the BS
he DID tell us!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
When the fellow called a motel and asked how much they
charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates
depended on room size and number of people.
"Do you take children?' the man asked.
"No, sir" replied the clerk. "only cash and credit cards."
Today, Feb 26, in
1815 - Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from the Island of Elba.
He then began his second conquest of France.
1848 The second French Republic was proclaimed.
1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the National Currency Act.
1870 In New York City, the first pneumatic-powered subway
line was opened to the public.
1907 The U.S. Congress raised their own pay to $7500.
1916 Mutual signed Charlie Chaplin to a film contract.
1919 In Arizona, the Grand Canyon was established as
a National Park with an act of the U.S. Congress.
1929 U.S. President Coolidge signed a bill creating
the Grand Teton National Park.
1930 New York City installed traffic lights.
1945 In the U.S., a nationwide midnight curfew went
into effect.
1952 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced
that Britain had developed an atomic bomb.
1986 Corazon Aquino was inaugurated president of the
Philippines. Long time President Ferdinand Marcos
went into exile.
1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein announced on Baghdad
Radio that Iraqi troops were being withdrawn from Kuwait.
1993 Six people were killed and more than a thousand
injured when a van exploded in the parking garage
beneath the World Trade Center in New York City.
The bomb had been built by Islamic extremists.
1998 A Texas jury rejected an $11 million lawsuit by Texas
cattlemen who blamed Oprah Winfrey for price drop after
on-air comment about mad-cow disease.
1998 In Oregon, a health panel rules that taxpayers must
help to pay for doctor-assisted suicides.
2009 Former Serbian president Milan Milutinovic was
acquitted by the International Criminal Tribunal for
the former Yugoslavia regarding war crimes during the
Kosovo War.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 1116 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 2.9 / 763 )
How to reduce printing size of online items
Monday, February 25, 2013, 01:08 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, February 25
Yesterday's picture is from Kay, taken at her cottage
a few years ago. If I had known, I would have cheerfully
added her copyright at the bottom.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
"I taught sex education in the South Bronx, and as a sixth
grade teacher I was told to answer all their sex questions.
One kid asked, 'Is there any part of the woman's body known
as the Volvo?'
Which I thought was a good question.
I said, 'Only on Swedish women.'"
---Dennis Wolfberg
"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the
wrong golf ball."
--- Jack Lemmon
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car;
both ladies could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along they came to an intersection.
The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself,
"I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through
a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection
and the light was again red, and again they went right through.
This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure
that the light had been red but was really concerned that she
was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay
very close attention at the next intersection to see what was
going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely
red and they went right through. At this point she turned to
her friend and said, "Mildred! Do you know we just ran
through three red lights in a row?
You could get killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Holy Moly! Am I driving?"
An woman went to traffic violation court for speeding,
lost the argument as it always happens, and paid the fine.
So the police clerk issued her a receipt for her payment
of the fine. The lady annoyed at her defeat in the court
asked him curtly, "What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Keep it," the clerk advised politely. "When you get three
of them, you can buy yourself a bicycle, Ma'am."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Now with 110% money back guarantee!
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Jose Angel Perales Jr., 24, of 609 Adams St., Muscatine
Tattooed Naked Burglar
Reported by Sailor
A man accused of breaking into a Davenport lingerie store
should have kept his clothes on and his tattoos covered
as Davenport police said they had little trouble
identifying him.
Jose Angel Perales Jr., 24, of 609 Adams St., Muscatine,
is charged with third-degree burglary and third-degree theft
in connection with the burglary of Dr. John’s Lingerie
Boutique, 4158 N. Brady St., the morning of Feb. 17.
Perales was arrested Friday. He was released from the Scott
County Jail after posting bond.
According to the arrest affidavit filed by Davenport police,
investigators viewing surveillance video saw a man enter the
southeast door of the business about 4:10 a.m. The affidavit
states the door was left unlocked.
According to the affidavit, the man walked around the store
and shopped before going into the manager’s office.
When the man walked out of the office, he was naked, and the
surveillance video showed a tattoo on the man’s back that
read “Perales” in old English lettering.
In checking Iowa’s mug shot system, police said they
identified the man in the video as Jose Perales.
Perales spent about two hours in the store trying on various
items, according to the affidavit.
He then left the store wearing a dress and a blond wig b
elonging to the business. He also was carrying a Dr. John’s
merchandise bag containing various items belonging to the
business, according to the affidavit.
Investigators seized merchandise from the store during a
search of Perales’ residence, according to the affidavit.
Third-degree burglary is a Class D felony under Iowa law
that carries a prison sentence of up to five years.
Third-degree theft is an aggravated misdemeanor that
carries a prison sentence of up to two years.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jim
Re: Printing online stuff is too big
Dear Webby
Greetings from Ohio,
Still lovin' you newsletter and tech support.
Now I am in need again.
Recently when I try to print something from "on line" the
size of the printing is about 3 time what it should be.
This happens no matter what printer I use.
Just tried to print a bank statement and huge print.
My wordperfect and works does fine as does my paint
shop pro. Any thoughts?
Thanks in advance, jh
Dear
Dear Jim
When you want to print something,
the in Firefox hit
ALT F (File)
U (Page Setup)
for page setup.
In there put a checkmark onto
Shrink to fit page width
or select a percentage.
I usually have mine set at 70%.
That seems to work fine.
Those settings will stay in effect until you change
them again.
Other browsers are similar.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Eyeglass Case To Store Small Items
We always have a lot of empty eyeglass cases around.
I use them to carry my scissors, toe nail clippers,
tweezers, etc. in my purse. I carry lipstick and other
small items when traveling; like buttons, thread and
needle just in case. I also carry pens in them as well.
By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las
Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she
exclaims, "can my luck be any worse?!? What in the
world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down,
suggests, "I don't know...why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by
a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won!
He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through
the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table
operator kneeling over her.
The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all
right?"
The operator replied, "I don't know. She put all her
money on 29, and 36 came up.
Then she just fainted!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small,
uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue
him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but
none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out
of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store
his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging
for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames,
the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned
with grief and anger.
"God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound
of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to
rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary
man of his rescuers.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
Today, Feb 25, in
1502 Austrian emperor Maximilian I reformats government machine
1570 England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by
Pope Pius V.
1751 Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act
in the U.S.
1836 Samuel Colt received a patent for a "revolving gun".
1901 The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by
J.P. Morgan.
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified.
It authorized a graduated (Marxist) income tax, that taxes
hard workers more than lazy ones.
1919 The state of NE became the first state to place a tax
on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon.
1930 The bank check photographing device was patented.
1933 The first aircraft carrier, Ranger, was launched.
1948 Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia.
1956 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late
Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress
1972 Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorist who
had hijacked a jumbo jet.
1986 Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the
Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election.
2000 In Albany, NY, a jury acquitted four New York City police
officers of second-degree murder and lesser charges in the
February 1999 shooting death of Amadou Diallo.
2005 Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings in
Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to
10 life prison terms.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 364 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 751 )
How to deal with spam and mail after an absence?
Sunday, February 24, 2013, 01:00 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, February 24
Thank you Bill M.!
Thank you Helen K.!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere
with what you can do."
--- John Wooden
Failure is not the only punishment for laziness;
there is also the success of others.
--- Jules Renard
“Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t
question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it,
don’t try to look it up. I don’t know who made it,
all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four.
So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy?
I don’t know.”
-- Shaquille O’Neal
Thanks to Dave for this story:
My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back.
"Doesn't it embarrass you that people have seen you go up
to the buffet table five times???"
"Not a bit," I replied. "I just tell them I'm filling up
the plate for you!"
A guy walked into a post office one day to see a
middle aged balding man standing at the counter
methodically placing "love" stamps on bright pink
envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then took out a perfume bottle and started
spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he went up
to the balding guy and asked him what he
was doing. The man said, "I'm sending out 1,000
lovey-dovey cards signed, 'Guess Who?'"
"But why?" asked the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer." the man replied.
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Now with 110% money back guarantee!
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Aalaya Walker, 18, St. Petersburg, Florida
Woman shot by oven while
trying to cook waffles
An 18-year-old Florida woman was only slightly injured this
week when she was shot by her friend's oven, police said.
Aalaya Walker was visiting a friend in St. Petersburg Monday
when they decided they wanted some late-night waffles, The
Tampa Bay Times reported. So Walker began preheating the oven
— unaware that her friend, JJ Sandy, 25, was storing a magazine
from his .45-caliber Glock 21 in the oven.
The magazine exploded about 9 p.m. ET, spraying casing
fragments at high speed and striking Walker. She managed to
pick some of the fragments out of her leg and chest and then
took a bus to the hospital, where she was treated and released.
Sandy told police he'd stored the gun in a drawer but had
stored the magazine in the oven. Four rounds were in the
13-capacity magazine, he said.
Sandy wasn't charged because he had a proper concealed
weapons permit, The Tampa Tribune reported.
Aalaya will hopefully check the oven in the future not just
for ammo, but also for fireworks, cats, and toys.
Tech Support Pits
From: Edith
Re: Mail after an absence
Dear Webby
How do you deal with mail, that accumulates while you can't
see after the injections? Considering that you have never
changed your email address, there must be thousands of emails
after a few days not cleaning them.
How do you cope with all the spam, that must be lurking
and waiting for you?
Edith
Dear Edith?
What spam?
I use MailWasher. When I come back, I hit F6 and it sends
all the stuff that it figures I won't read anyway, straight
to hell, right on the server.
Once it has done that, it opens Eudora, the email program.
CTRL M gets the Mail, just the hundred or so emails, that
I will actually answer. All the rest has gone to hell.
Sure, I have made some filters in MailWasher to make it
even more precise, but that is easy, and not limited like
in Gmail. You can make awfully convoluted filters using
AND, BUT NOT IF, etc., all the regular expressions, and
then top if off with an additional rule telling it that
your Friends list takes precedence.
You can also make a filter that dumps anything, that has
for example Arabic or Korean characters in the text,
if you won't be able to read that anyway.
MailWasher also tells me if a mail has an attachment.
Any crap pretending to be from UPS or a bank or the
Government, but has an attachment is obviously phony.
That also never makes it to my computer.
The way email is these days, if you plan to keep
the same email address for a few years, you need to have
a competent anti-spam program. I use and recommend
MailWasher. I have used it since it was a free experimental
program over a dozen years ago, with a grub-stake donation encouraged, but not
required. I have never regretted sending Nick that donation.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Set a Timer to Put Out Candles
I enjoy seeing my candles lit. It gives a warm cosy feeling
on a cold winter's day. But how many times have we heard
about candles left unattended causing fires. My tip for
today is to "put on the stove timer when you light the
candle, for the length of time you want them lit".
This will remind you to blow them out. If this tip
will prevent one fire, then its worth the effort.
By Sheila
If your oven timer is not loud enough or near enough,
put the candle into a glass jar and fill it with water
up to the level that you want to budget for that night.
When the candle burns down to that level, the water
will extinguish it automatically and safely.
If you put the candle out manually, NEVER blow it out!
Aside from the nuisance of hot wax splattering all over the
place, you are destroying an hour's use of the wick,
when a hot wick is blown. You can buy fancy wick dippers
or easily make one from a straightened out paper clip.
Just bend a tiny "U" or "V" into one end. Then you
can use that to DIP the wick into the puddle of molten
wax around it, to extinguish it. That covers it with
an airtight hermetic seal, so that the hot wick can not
oxydize and turn it's tip into useless ash,
- and get shorter each time.
Just briefly dip the wick into the molten wax, and then
straighten it out, ready for next time.
That two second procedure will gain you an hour extra
burning time, and no wax splatters on your fancy table
linen.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an
argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious
expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded
that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly
forbidding polygamy.
"Nothing easier," Twain said.
"No man can serve two masters."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant.
When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places,
Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling
out her own pair.
"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve
of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."
The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Velly beautiful,"
he said politely. "Ivoly fwom almost extinct mountain
eliphant!"
Today, Feb 24, in
0303 1st official Roman edict for persecution of Christians issued
1510 Pope Julius II excommunicates the republic of Venice
1803 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled itself to be the final interpreter of all constitutional issues.
1821 Mexico gains independence from Spain
1835 "Siwinowe Kesibwi" (The Shawnee Sun) was issued as the first Indian language monthly publication in the U.S.
1839 Mr. William S. Otis received a patent for the steam shovel.
1863 Arizona was organized as a territory.
1868 The first parade to use floats occurred in New Orleans
at Mardi Gras.
1900 New York City Mayor Van Wyck signed the contract to
begin work on New York's first rapid transit tunnel.
The tunnel would link Manhattan and Brooklyn. The ground
breaking ceremony was on March 24, 1900.
1903 In Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, an area was leased to the U.S.
for a naval base.
1917 Russian revolution breaks out
1925 A thermit was used for the first time. It was used to
break up a 250,000-ton ice jam that had clogged the
St. Lawrence River near Waddington, NY.
1938 The first nylon bristle toothbrush was made. It was
the first time that nylon yarn had been used commercially.
1942 The U.S. Government stopped shipments of all 12-gauge
shotguns for sporting use for the wartime effort.
1942 The Voice of America (VOA) aired for the first time.
1945 During World War II, the Philippine capital of Manilla,
was liberated by U.S. soldiers.
1946 Juan Peron was elected president of Argentina.
1956 The city of Cleveland invoked a 1931 law that barred
people under the age of 18 from dancing in public without
an adult guardian.
1980 NBC premiered the TV movie "Harper Valley P.T.A."
1981 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Britain's
Prince Charles to Lady Diana Spencer.
1987 An exploding supernova was discovered in the Large
Magellanic Cloud galaxy.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a $200,000 award to
Rev. Jerry Falwell that had been won against "Hustler"
magazine. The ruling expanded legal protections for
parody and satire.
1989 Iran’s Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini sentenced Salman
Rushdie to death for his novel "The Satanic Verses".
A bounty of one to three-million-dollars was also put
on Rushidie's head.
1989 A United Airlines 747 jet rips open in flight killing
9 people. The flight was from Honolulu to New Zealand.
1997 The U.S. The Food and Drug Administration named
six brands of birth control as safe and effective
"morning-after" pills for preventing pregnancy.
1999 In southeast China, a domestic airliner crashed
killing all 64 passengers.
2008 Cuba's parliament named Raul Castro president.
His brother Fidel had ruled for nearly 50 years.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 1174 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 619 )
Saturday, February 23, 2013, 11:27 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, February 23
Back in the saddle again!
This time there was no pain, just irritation and blurred
vision after the shots, and the next ones are not until
April 3.
Dad told me that the European media are all hysterical about
horse meat in their hamburgers, even Canadian horse meat.
The funny thing is, those gullible Euros all think that
both horses in Canada are doped up like Lance Armstrong,
and that their kids might turn into athletes.
The simple souls don't realize that Canada has Millions
of horses, and none of them are doped up. The cowboys
definitely don't spend money on dope for company horses,
and the rest of the horses are owned by families, who
consider it fashionalbe to have few horses, and who
have them boarded somewhere, so that they can go for a
leisurely trail ride a few times a year. A full gallop
would scare the pants off most of them, and they complain
all year long about the vet bills for the necessary shots
and vitamins. They most definitely are not interested in
any costly dope.
The funny thing is, cattle in Europe is now recorded from
birth to supermarket, just like cattle in North America,
but many farmers there dope their cattle fiercely, so that
they put on more weight quicker. They call them "Turbo-Cows",
I remember how they walked the cattle to "Alps", grazing
areas in the mountains, up above the tree line. And in fall,
walked them down into the valley again. With the "Turbo Cows"
they can't do that any more. Partly because they are too
heavy to walk that far, partly because their owners are
worried the cows might lose some weight from that long walk.
So they built or improved the roads up there and are now
hauling the Turbo Cows up and down with cattle trucks, or
leave them in stalls in the valley.
Meat from doped up Turbo Cows is quite acceptable in Europe,
but meat from healthy free range horses in Canada freaks
them out. Horses are like Holy Cows to them.
On the other hand, they eat Bambies. Young deer.
They breed deer in captivity and somehow got the knack of
getting them to have half a dozen bambies. They feed them
up with corn and dope and lettuce for a year, and then
sell the meat for big money.
But the thought of meat from Canadian free range horses
freaks them out. Must be the dope from the Turbo Cows!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Idealism is what precedes experience;
cynicism is what follows.
--- David T. Wolf
Television has raised writing to a new low.
--- Samuel Goldwyn
Mankind is divided into three classes:
those that are immovable,
those that are movable,
and those that move.
--- Benjamin Franklin
A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day when
she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $50
bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift
from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention
was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger
who was leaning against a post in front of the convent.
She couldn't get him off her mind and thinking that he might
be in financial difficulties. She took the $50 bill and wrapped
it in a piece of paper, on which she had written,
"Don't despair, Sister Eulalia."
She threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up,
read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his
hat and went off down the street.
The next day she was in her room saying her prayers when
she was told that a man was at her door who insisted on
seeing her.
She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger
waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll
of bills.
When she asked what the bills were for he replied,
"That's the four-hundred bucks you have coming.
Don't Despair paid 7-1."
Good old classic!
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character.
She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was
found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I
cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"
The judge said that was true.
"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?"
the man asked.
The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig
Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said,
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Now with 110% money back guarantee!
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Ronald Howard, 30, Mnatee County, Florida
Jailed for bad manners and assault
Ronald Howard was sitting on the couch “scratching his balls”
yesterday when his girlfriend told him to cease the scratching
“because it was rude and disgusting and she was about to eat
dinner,” police report.
Howard, 30, reportedly rose from the couch in the Florida
home he shares with Shalamar Petrarca and confronted her.
Howard, seen in the above mug shot, allegedly got in the
25-year-old Petrarca’s face and yelled at her to
“stop judging him.”
Petrarca told Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputies
that Howard then pushed her to the ground--causing a
scraped ankle--and then “threw her outside and told her
to get the hell out.”
In an interview with investigators, Howard claimed that
Petrarca punched him in the eye for “scratching his balls.”
He added that he pushed her out of their residence
“in self defense,” adding that he did not call cops because
he “didn’t want it to go that far.”
While Howard did not have
any visible injuries, Petrarca,
seen at left, had “a scratch on
her leg that was consistent
with her version of events.”
Howard was arrested for
misdemeanor battery and
booked into the Manatee
County jail.
Bail has not been set.
If he gets bail, it will
most likely include an
order to stay away from
Petrarca and their shared
residence.
Howard is scheduled for a March 21 court appearance.
Interesting how Petrarca achieves
a "concerned" appearance by painting
fake eyebrows tilted 45 degrees up
from where her shaved off eyebrows
would have been. One way to look
"concerned" without furrowing that
immaculate brow.
Mr Howard has to actually raise his eyebrows to achieve
that well practised "exasperated and hard done by" look.
Tech Support Pits
From: Mia
Re: Permanent ads
Dear Webby
I hope your eyes have recovered from the injections! I would
freak out if someone was going to poke needles into my
eyeballs! They would have to knock me out and better not
wake me up for a few days!
That was quite interesting about the ads.
What about ads in the side margin, that you have kept
for years, like "Find A Human", which I use quite often,
or the Translator, or the NASA gallery, Sky Watch,
the Hunger Site and the Mammogram girls, just to mention
a few. Somehow I doubt that any of those ever pay you even
a penny.
What's the story with those?
Mia
Dear Mia
You are right. Those ads don't pay me at all.
Those are "Public Service",
just a favor from me.
Just "paying it forward", or "banking good Karma",
whatever you might call it.
I know you proabbly COULD find those links on your own
in a few hours of searching, but a lot of people find them
handy to have them all in one place. Since enough subscribers
DO like them there, I will keep the right side side-menu.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Safety Pin to Eliminate Static Cling
The natural way to fix static cling is to pin a small
safety pin to the seam of the slip you are wearing. It
acts like a grounding device. It eliminates the static
cling in your dress. If you wear slacks, then place the
safety pin in the seam of your slacks, to keep static
off of your panty hose when wearing them under slacks.
I just found this out from the internet.
By Robyn
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems
for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor
was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that
allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman
went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said,
"Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased
you can hear again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations.
I've changed my will five times so far!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
There once was a Preacher that went to heaven.
(In jokes that CAN happen!)
When he got to the pearly gates, there was a man in front
of him. The man was a mess (dirty t-shirt, holes in his jeans,
long hair, and wearing flip flops).
The man told St Peter his name and told him he was a New York
taxi driver. St Peter looked up his name and gave him a silk
robe and a silver staff with built in juke box and police
scanner.
The Preacher then walked up to St Peter gave his name.
He told him he was a Preacher of such & such church.
St Peter looked up his name and gave him a short, hospital
style cotton robe with rear draft and a plain wooden stick.
The Preacher complained and said " Hey, the guy before me
was a taxi driver and you gave him a silk robe and a silver
staff. I'm a preacher of the word of God and all I got was
this flimsy cotton robe and a dumb wooden stick."
St Peter said to the Preacher, "When you preached people slept,
When he drove people prayed."
Today, Feb 23, in
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots.
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden.
1792 The Humane Society of Massachusetts was incorporated.
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded in
Waltham, MA.
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began.
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista
in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary.
1861 U.S. President-elect Abraham Lincoln arrived secretly in
Washington to take his office after an assassination
attempt in Baltimore.
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union.
1870 The state of Mississippi was readmitted to the Union.
1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria).
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum.
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake
that killed about 2,000.
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield.
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone
for $10 million.
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law.
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini.
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies,
hours of operation and power allocations for radio broadcasters.
On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the Federal
Communications Commission (FCC).
1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial
battle with the Japanese. (more info)
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island.
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released.
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio
began in Pittsburgh, PA.
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new
parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages
taken on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran.
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the
border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less
than four days later the war was over due to the surrender
or withdraw of Iraqi forces.
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents.
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses.
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of
kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged
behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas.
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 200 feet over an oncoming train.
2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced
that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains
of the people killed at the World Trade Center on
September 11, 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology.
About 1,600 people had been identified leaving more than
1,100 unidentified.
2013 smiled
|
[ view entry ]
( 947 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 191 )
<<First <Back | 66 | 67 | 68 | 69 | 70 | 71 | 72 | 73 | 74 | 75 | Next> Last>>
» Seeing Legs
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Still snow outside
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click through the pictrue for the bigger size
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Click on the picture for the large version
Recognize
a spoof
Web
Tools
Babelfish
Translator
HungerSite
BreastCancer
Site
Calendar
