Filter Aweber into trash? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, March 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Ingham County, Michigan, Prosecutor, Stuart Dunnings, arrested on charges of paying for prostitutes. He used prostitutes from human trafficking ring that the FBI was investigating. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 18, in 1644 200 members of the Peking imperial family/court committed suicide. ______________________________________________________ One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine. --- Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919) What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to. --- Hansell B. Duckett ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q :What's the difference between the Government and the Mafia? A: One of them is sait to be organized. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?" "I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?" "Oh.. Half a pack a day." "Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees. The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?" "Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while." "Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions." The man is a bit upset, but also agrees. The doctor asks, "How do you eat?" "Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff." "Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese." The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this really necessary?" "Do you want to live long?" "Yes." "Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet." The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do you have sex?" "Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!" he adds hurriedly. "As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None." The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?" "No, you will probably die sooner, but whatever time you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert White, 22, Salem, Oregon Ingham County, Michigan, Prosecutor, Stuart Dunnings, arrested on charges of paying for prostitutes. He used prostitutes from human trafficking ring that the FBI was investigating. Stuart Dunnings III paid for sex "hundreds of times" between 2010 and 2015, state and county law enforcement officials said Monday as they announced charges against the long-serving Ingham County prosecutor. Dunnings was arrested Monday morning outside. He is facing a total of 15 criminal charges in Ingham, Clinton and Ionia counties, the most serious being a felony charge of prostitution-pandering for allegedly using his position to coerce a woman who came to him for help with a child custody case to have sex with him for money, according to court records. The other charges are misdemeanors for engaging in the services of a prostitute and willful neglect of duty, which stems from his failure to report crimes, according to court records. According to an affidavit from an Ingham County detective, Dunnings solicited prostitutes from websites such as Escort Vault and Backpage, paid for sex as often as three or four times a week and was videotaped by one of the prostitutes. "I’ve known Stuart for a long time," Ingham County Sheriff Gene Wriggelsworth said at a news conference Monday. "We've done some campaigning together. This was a huge betrayal of his trust, his oath of office, his service to the people of this county." RELATED: Stuart Dunnings' political future unclear A year-long investigation by the Ingham County Sheriff’s Office, assisted by the FBI and the Attorney General’s office resulted in the charges. Dunnings faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted. He was arraigned in several District Courts on Monday afternoon. During the video arraignment in 54A District Court in Lansing, G. Michael Hocking, Dunnings’ attorney, told Magistrate Laura Millmore the charges might be "somewhat of a political case" full of "titillating-type accusations," but that his client was no threat to the community. He added that Dunnings had been aware of the investigation for weeks and hadn’t fled or harassed witnesses, despite ample opportunity to do so. Dunnings is a Democrat who was elected in 1996. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexis Re: Has Aweber gone bad? Dear Webby It used to be that Aweber was a mass mailing service favored by semi-legit hypnotists and get-rich-quick gurus, but claimed to keep the worst of the scam artists out. Lately I have been getting mails pretending to be from PayPal, with a link to click on, that has an underlying Aweber URL. Obviously that is a definite scam. PayPal never has links to click on and always says to log in first. Does that mean Aweber is now something to filter into the trash? Alexis Dear Alexis Have you EVER received anything truly legitimate fom Aweber and at least partially what it claims to be? Me neither. I think it would be quite safe to use their URL as a trigger for filtering. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ For years one gift I could count on when my kids were young was a bottle or two of "English Leather" after-shave lotion. I thought for a while they liked the smell. Then it dawned on me... the stuff had an aroma just like my wallet. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Butter Finger Cookies By Robyn [377 Posts, 754 Comments] These are little stick shaped cookies. There is not an overabundance of sugar in this recipe. Ingredients: 1 cup butter, softened 4 Tbsp. confectioners sugar, sifted 1 tsp. vanilla extract 3 tsp. water 2 cups flour 1 cup chopped pecans and/or almonds confectioners sugar Directions: Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. In large bowl cream butter, confectioners sugar, vanilla, and water. Using electric mixer on medium speed, slowly add flour and nuts. Shape small finger length cookies out of this dough. Place them on an un-greased baking sheet. Bake at 300 degrees F for 35 to 40 minutes. Roll in confectioners sugar. Cool on wire rack. Roll them again in confectioners sugar. Servings:3 dozen cookies Prep Time:20 Minutes Cooking Time:40 Minutes By Robyn F. from TN ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Bob After a recent move, I made up a list of companies, agencies, and services that needed to know my new address and phoned each one to ask for the change to be made. Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent flier accounts. After I explained to the representative what I wanted to do, the woman told me, "I'm sorry; we can't do that over the phone. You will have to fill out our change-of address form." "How do I get one of those?" I asked. "We'd be happy to provide you with one," she said pleasantly. "May I have your new address so that I can mail it to you?" ___________________________________________________
illusions
____________________________________________________ A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires. After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enough and said, "My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother?" ____________________________________________________ Judy went to get her hair cut. The hairstylist cut for about thirty minutes, hands her a mirror, and asked, "How do you like it?" Judy replied, "It's nice, but could you make it just a little longer in the back?" ____________________________________________________
Two grannies, one Lamborghini....how much fun is that?

Today on March 19
1571 Spanish troops occupied Manila. 
1644 200 members of the Peking imperial family/court 
 committed suicide.
1687 French explorer La Salle was murdered by his own men 
 while searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River, 
 in the Gulf of Mexico. 
1702 Upon the death of William III of Orange, Anne Stuart, 
 the sister of Mary, succeeds to the throne of England, 
 Scotland and Ireland. 
1748 The English Naturalization Act passed granting Jews 
 right to colonize in the U.S. 
1831 The first bank robbery in America was reported. The 
 City Bank of New York City lost $245,000 in the robbery. 
1866 The immigrant ship Monarch of the Seas sank in Liverpool 
 killing 738. 
1900 U.S. President McKinley asserted that there was a need 
 for free trade with Puerto Rico. 
1900 Archeologist Arthur John Evans began the excavation of 
 Knossos Palace in Greece. 
1903 The U.S. Senate ratified the Cuban treaty, gaining 
 naval bases in Guantanamo and Bahia Honda. 
1908 The state of Maryland barred Christian Scientists 
 from practicing without medical diplomas. 
1918 The U.S. Congress approved Daylight-Saving Time. 
1918 A German seaplane was shot down for the first time 
 by an American pilot. 
1920 The U.S. Senate rejected the Versailles Treaty for 
 the second time maintaining an isolation policy. 
1931 The state of Nevada legalized gambling. 
1940 The French government of Daladier fell. 
1945 About 800 people were killed as Japanese kamikaze 
 planes attacked the U.S. carrier Franklin off Japan. 
1945 Adolf Hitler issued his "Nero Decree" which ordered 
 the destruction of German facilities that could fall into 
 Allied hands as German forces were retreating. 
1947 Chiang Kai-Shek's government forces took control of 
 Yenan, the former headquarters of the Chinese Communist Party. 
1949 The Soviet People's Council signed the constitution of the 
 German Democratic Republic, and declared that the 
 North Atlantic Treaty was merely a war weapon. 
1954 Viewers saw the first televised prize fight shown in color 
 when Joey Giardello knocked out Willie Tory in round seven at 
 Madison Square Garden in New York City. 
1954 The first rocket-driven sled that ran on rails was tested 
 in Alamogordo, NM. 
1963 In Costa Rica, U.S. President John F. Kennedy and six 
 Latin American presidents pledged to fight Communism. 
1964 Sean Connery began shooting his role in "Goldfinger." 
1965 Indonesia nationalized all foreign oil companies. 
1969 British invaded Anguilla. 
1972 India and Bangladesh signed a friendship treaty. 
1976 Buckingham Palace announced the separation of 
 Princess Margaret and her husband, the Earl of Snowdon, 
 after 16 years of marriage. 
1977 France performed a nuclear test at Muruora Island. 
1981 During a test of the space shuttle Columbia two 
 workers were injured and one was killed. 
1981 The Buffalo Sabres set an NHL record when they 
 scored 9 goals in one period against Toronto. 
1984 A Mobile oil tanker spilled 200,000 gallons into 
 the Columbia River. 
1985 IBM announced that it was planning to stop making the 
 PCjr consumer-oriented computer. 
1987 Televangelist Jim Bakker resigned from the PTL due to 
 a scandal involving Jessica Hahn. 
1988 Two British soldiers were killed by mourners at a 
 funeral in Belfast, North Ireland. The soldiers were shot 
 to death after being dragged from a car and beaten. 
1990 Latvia's political opposition claimed victory in the 
 republic's first free elections in 50 years. 
1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000 
 eggs in Yokohama, Japan. 
1998 The World Health Organization warned of tuberculosis 
 epidemic that could kill 70 million people in next two decades. 
1999 53 people were killed and dozens were injured when a 
 bomb exploded in a market place in southern Russia. 
2001 California officials declared a power alert and ordered the 
 first of two days of rolling blackouts. 
2002 Operation Anaconda, the largest U.S.-led ground offensive 
 since the Gulf War, ended in eastern Afghanistan. During the 
 operation, which began on March 2, it was reported that at 
 least 500 Taliban and al Qaeda fighters were killed. Eleven 
 allied troops were killed during the same operation. 
2003 U.S. President George W. Bush announced that U.S. forces 
 had launched a strike against "targets of military opportunity" 
 in Iraq. The attack, using cruise missiles and precision-guided 
 bombs, were aimed at Iraqi leaders thought to be near Baghdad.
2016  smiled.


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Has Aweber gone bad? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, March 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon man arrested after he kidnapped grandma at knife point and forced her to drive for 12 hours Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 18, in 1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood of the Mississippi River. ______________________________________________________ Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. --- Nick Diamos ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and their mother's age. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, "It's not all the devil's fault; she's not that easy to get along with either." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert White, 22, Salem, Oregon Oregon man arrested after he kidnapped grandma at knife point and forced her to drive for 12 hours A 22-year-old Oregon man kidnapped his 87-year-old grandmother at knife point and forced her to drive for nearly 12 hours, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said Sunday. Robert White of Salem was charged Sunday with unlawful possession of methamphetamine, kidnapping, menacing, criminal mischief and violating a protective order in the incident Saturday night, the sheriff's office said in a statement. The statement said that White's family had been "struggling to help" with his meth use and that his grandmother, who wasn't identified, had briefly placed her grandson in a hotel. On Saturday night, the statement says, "she had to inform him that the money had run out and he needed to leave the hotel." When his grandmother picked him up, White climbed into the backseat of her car, then "placed a knife to [her] throat and told her to drive," the statement says. "Driving through the night while her grandson smoked methamphetamine and rambled about the police following him for the past nine months, relief finally came when Mr. White called 911 at about 8 a.m." The statement doesn't say what White told the dispatcher, but using GPS, the sheriff's office tracked his grandmother's vehicle to a road east of downtown Salem. White was taken into custody without incident, the statement notes, and his grandmother, "although tired ... was not harmed during the near 12 hour ordeal." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexis Re: Has Aweber gone bad? Dear Webby It used to be that Aweber was a mass mailing service favored by semi-legit hypnotists and get-rich-quick gurus, but claimed to keep the worst of the scam artists out. Lately I have been getting mails pretending to be from PayPal, with a link to click on, that has an underlying Aweber URL. Obviously that is a definite scam. PayPal never has links to click on and always says to log in first. Does that mean Aweber is now something to filter into the trash? Alexis Dear Alexis Have you EVER received anything truly legitimate fom Aweber and at least partially what it claims to be? Me neither. I think it would be quite safe to use their URL as a trigger for filtering. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ For years one gift I could count on when my kids were young was a bottle or two of "English Leather" after-shave lotion. I thought for a while they liked the smell. Then it dawned on me... the stuff had an aroma just like my wallet. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Heavenly Tarts By Robyn [377 Posts, 754 Comments] These are little stick shaped cookies. There is not an overabundance of sugar in this recipe. Ingredients: 1 cup butter, softened 4 Tbsp. confectioners sugar, sifted 1 tsp. vanilla extract 3 tsp. water 2 cups flour 1 cup chopped pecans and/or almonds confectioners sugar Directions: Preheat oven to 300 degrees F. In large bowl cream butter, confectioners sugar, vanilla, and water. Using electric mixer on medium speed, slowly add flour and nuts. Shape small finger length cookies out of this dough. Place them on an un-greased baking sheet. Bake at 300 degrees F for 35 to 40 minutes. Roll in confectioners sugar. Cool on wire rack. Roll them again in confectioners sugar. Servings:3 dozen cookies Prep Time:20 Minutes Cooking Time:40 Minutes By Robyn F. from TN ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A bottle of out-of-date Marks & Spencer coconut and lemon-grass salad dressing exploded in a refrigerator in the UK blowing off the refrigerator door and sending it into the kitchen door. The bottle then ricocheted and went through a window, landing 20 feet away after pushing out a kitchen wall and damaging the loft hatch above the refrigerator. "I thought at first the place had been hit by a big firework rocket mortar because there was debris everywhere," says the owner when she returned home from work. In other news, Iraq is reported to have ordered 1 million bottles of a certain salad dressing from Marks & Spencer in the UK. ___________________________________________________
Playing for Change - Songs Around the World
____________________________________________________ What is your name? A. Ernestine McDowell. Q. And what is your marital status? A. Fair. Q. Now, Mrs. McDowell, how was your first marriage terminated? A. By death. Q. And by whose death was it terminated? Q. Mrs. McDowell, did you say he was shot in the woods? A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas? A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval. ____________________________________________________ Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. ____________________________________________________
I've always wanted to stay in a haunted castle.

Today on March 18
0037 The Roman Senate annuls Tiberius’ will and 
  proclaims Caligula emperor.
1190 Crusaders killed 57 Jews in Bury St. Edmonds England.
1532 The English parliament banned payments by English church to Rome.
1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood of 
  the Mississippi River.
1673 Lord Berkley sold his half of New Jersey to the Quakers.
1813 David Melville patented the gas streetlight.
1818 The U.S. Congress approved the first pensions for 
  government service.
1834 The first railroad tunnel in the U.S. was completed. 
  The work was in Pennsylvania.
1850 Henry Wells & William Fargo founded American Express.
1891 Britain became linked to the continent of Europe by telephone.
1899 Phoebe, a moon of the planet Saturn, was discovered.
1902 In Turkey, the Sultan granted a German syndicate the first 
  concession to access Baghdad by rail.
1903 France dissolved the Catholic religious orders.
1911 Theodore Roosevelt opened the Roosevelt Dam in Arizona.
1916 Russia countered the Verdun assault with an attack at 
  Lake Naroch. The Russians lost 100,000 men and the 
  Germans lost 20,000.
1917 The Germans sank the U.S. ships, City of Memphis, 
  Vigilante and the Illinois, without any warning.
1921 Poland was enlarged with the second Peace of Riga.
1921 The steamer "Hong Koh" ran aground off of Swatow China. 
Over 1,000 people were killed.
1931 Schick Inc. displayed the first electric shaver.
1937 More than 400 people, mostly children, were killed in a 
  gas explosion at a school in New London, TX.
1938 Mexico took control of all foreign-owned oil properties 
  on its soil.
1938 New York first required serological blood tests of 
  pregnant women.
1940 The soap opera "Light of the World" was first heard on NBC radio.
1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini held a meeting at the 
  Brenner Pass. The Italian dictator agreed to join in Germany's 
  war against France and Britain during the meeting.
1942 The third military draft began in the U.S. because of 
World War II.
1943 The Reich called off its offensive in Caucasus.
1943 American forces took Gafsa in Tunisia.
1944 The Russians reached the Rumanian border World War II.
1945 1,250 U.S. bombers attacked Berlin.
1950 Nationalist troops landed on the mainland of China 
  and capture Communist held Sungmen.
1952 In Philadelphia, PA, the first plastic lenses were 
  fitted for a cataract patient.
1954 RKO Pictures was sold for $23,489,478. It became the first 
  motion picture studio to be owned by an individual:Howard Hughes.
1963 The U.S. Supreme Court handed down the Miranda decision 
  concerning legal council for defendants.
1965 Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov became the first man to spacewalk 
  when he left the Voskhod II space capsule while in orbit around 
  the Earth. He was outside the spacecraft for about 20 minutes.
1966 Scott Paper began selling paper dresses for $1.
1968 The U.S. Congress repealed the requirement for a gold reserve.
1969 U.S. President Nixon authorizes Operation Menue. It was the 
  ‘secret’ bombing of Cambodia.
1971 U.S. helicopters airlifted 1,000 South Vietnamese soldiers 
  out of Laos.
1974 Most of the Arab oil-producing nations ended their 
  five-month embargo against the United States, Europe and Japan.
1975 Saigon abandoned most of the Central Highlands of Vietnam 
  to Hanoi.
1975 The Kurds ended their fight against Iraq.
1979 Iranian authorities detained American feminist Kate Millett. 
  The next day she was deported.
1980 A Vostok rocket exploded on the launch pad killing 50.
1981 The U.S. disclosed that there were biological weapons 
  tested in Texas in 1966.
1986 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Prince Andrew 
  to Sarah Ferguson.
1989 A 4,400-year-old mummy was discovered at the Pyramid of Cheops
1990 The first free elections took place in East Germany.
1992 Leona Hemsly was sentenced to 4 years in prison for tax evasion.
1992 White South Africans voted for constitutional reforms that 
  would give legal equality to blacks.
1994 Zsa Zsa Gabor filed for bankruptcy.
2016  smiled.


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AOL mail to Eudora or Thunderbird 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 17

Happy St Patrick's Day!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Alaskan arrested after he repeatedly hits sled dogs in Iditarod race with his snowmobile Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 17, in 0461 Bishop Patrick, St. Patrick, died in Saul. Ireland celebrates this day in his honor. ______________________________________________________ Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) This is like deja vu all over again. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sue's husband went on a sudden business trip, and she accompanied him. It soon became apparent that he could not wrap things up in one day, so his employer put them up for the night in a luxury hotel. They found a convenience store and purchased toothbrushes, a razor and other necessary items. Finally they entered the lobby of the hotel, each of them toting a brown paper bag filled with supplies. The hotel manager looked them over. Raising an eyebrow, he intoned haughtily, "Would you like a bellboy to carry your matching luggage to your room ?" ______________________________________________________
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February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
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with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ The primary school teacher was preparing the class for their annual concert. Some children were to sing songs, others recite poetry and some to play musical instruments. Little Alfie had just come down from the country and the teacher asked him if he would like to do some farmyard impressions. Alfie thought this was a great idea. On the night of the concert, Alfie nervously walked onto the stage. The teacher announced: "Now Alfie is going to do some farmyard impressions and share with us the most memorable sounds he heard on the farm." Then, cupping his hands to his mouth, Alfie yelled at the top of his voice, "Get the @#$% off that f@#$%n' tractor!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carlos Adonis Ramos-Erazo, 24, Clermont, Florida Speeding driver arrested for resisting and relieving himself in the patrol car When Carlos Adonis Ramos-Erazo was pulled over for driving 75 mph in a 55 mph zone, the 24-year-old allegedly said he was rushing to get home because he had "to go No. 2," according to the police report. The officer apparently thought the excuse was crappy, in part because he said he smelled unburnt marijuana in the vehicle. Ramos-Erazo was asked to step out of the car, but he refused numerous times. Police said Ramos-Erazo managed to lock the car door and drive away from the scene. The officer followed in hot pursuit. Before Ramos-Erazo got to his house, he allegedly threw something out of his car window. The item was never located by deputies, but the arresting officer said he believed it was the marijuana he smelled when he first approached the suspect's car. When Ramos-Erazo got home, he attempted to get inside, but the officer was close behind. The officer fired a Taser after Ramos-Erazo allegedly reached into his waistband with his right hand. Despite being struck in the back with prongs, Ramos-Erazo refused to follow officer commands until he was subdued, according to the arrest report. That might be how he got that bruise on his head. Officers searched the suspect's car for marijuana. They said they only found a small amount of shake. While en route to Lake County Jail, Ramos-Erazo allegedly pooped and urinated on himself in the patrol car. "The damage was mostly in man hours dedicated to cleaning the car," said Fred Jones, a spokesman for the Lake County Sheriff's Dept. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Regina Re: AOL to Eudora or Thunderbird Dear Webby Yes, it is true. Verizon got so fed up with all the complaining and bitching and threatening about the way they handled email, that they spent over 4 BILLION bucks to buy AOL. AOL is used to a lot of bitching and threats of violence. My question is, can I handle the AOL mail with Eudora or Thunderbird? How do I set them up? Regina Dear Regina Same as with Outlook, use IMAP settings. Too much in AOL mail is graphical doodads that don't work well in POP formation. incoming IMAP server: imap.aol.com port: 993 Connection security: SSL/TLS Authentication: Normal password User name: the part of your address before @ outgoing SMTP server: smtp.aol.com port: 465 Connection security: SSL/TLS Authentication: Normal password User name: the part of your address before @ Simple enough with those two programs. With Verizon downgrading their email to AOL, it will be extremely important to get proper spam protection like MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Interesting: 11% of Americans can't find the US on a world map. 11 % of 280 Million is about 32 Million. hmmm, AOL claims to have 32 Million subscribers. Coincidence ? (Those numbers might be a bit out of date) ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheesy Baked Ziti By cherriefic [2 Posts] It's my own version of baked ziti that Italian restaurants serve. If you make it at home, you can save a lot. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 8 Ingredients: 250 mg Penne Regate Gourmet Pasta 200 mg 3 cheese tomato sauce 1/2 lb cheddar cheese, grated 1/4 lb bacon strips, crushed 1 clove garlic, chopped 1 small piece of onion, chopped 1/4 lb butter, sliced salt and pepper to taste Steps: Bring the water to a boil for the pasta. Make sure you add a little bit of oil and a pinch of salt to make your pasta perfect. Once cooked, drain water and pour cold water over to stop pasta being overcooked. Drain again and set aside. Heat saucepan on stove to medium heat. Melt butter and fry bacon strips. Once bacon is crispy, set aside to cool. In the same saucepan, add more butter until melted. Saute' garlic and onions. Pour in the three cheese sauce and bring it to boil. Assemble casserole in a baking pan. Alternate pasta, sauce and grated cheddar cheese. Repeat until all ingredients are in the pan. Top with more cheese covering most of the surface. Bake at 325 degrees F until all the cheese has melted. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps." ___________________________________________________
Spirit of Nature - Yanni
____________________________________________________ The doctor was examining a young model who was having tremendous pain in her side. "My dear, you have acute appendicitis," the doctor said. The woman became quite angry and said, "Don't try flirting with me, I just want to be examined, not complimented." ____________________________________________________ Jill and John boarded a crowded subway car on their way home to Brooklyn. Standing next to them was a man who'd clearly had a liquid lunch. When the doors opened at the next station, the man, who had been leaning onto the door, tumbled out and landed flat on his beak. John rushed to his side, picked him up, and hauled him back into the car. As the train was pulling away, the man mumbled to Jill and John, "That wasch my schtop." ____________________________________________________
David Madero does welding art and it’s incredible!

Today on March 17
0461 Bishop Patrick, St. Patrick, died in Saul. Ireland 
 celebrates this day in his honor.
1756 St. Patrick's Day was celebrated in New York City 
 for the first time. The event took place at the Crown 
 and Thistle Tavern. 
1776 British forces evacuated Boston to Nova Scotia 
 during the Revolutionary War. 
1884 In Otay, California, John Joseph Montgomery made the 
 first manned, controlled, heavier-than-air glider flight 
 in the United States. 
1886 20 Blacks were killed in the Carrollton Massacre in 
 Mississippi. 
1891 The British steamer Utopia sank off the coast of 
 Gibraltar. 
1909 In France, the communications industry was paralyzed 
 by strikes. 
1910 The Camp Fire Girls organization was founded by Luther 
 and Charlotte Gulick. It was formally presented to the 
 public exactly 2 years later. 
1914 Russia increased the number of active duty military 
 from 460,000 to 1,700,000. 
1930 Al Capone was released from jail. 
1944 During World War II, the U.S. bombed Vienna. 
1950 Scientists at the University of California at Berkeley 
 announced that they had created a new radioactive element. 
 They named it "californium". It is also known as element 98. 
1958 The Vanguard 1 satellite was launched by the U.S. 
1959 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) fled Tibet 
 and went to India. 
1962 Moscow asked the U.S. to pull out of South Vietnam. 
1966 A U.S. submarine found a missing H-bomb in the 
 Mediterranean off of Spain. 
1970 The U.S. Army charged 14 officers with suppression of 
 facts in the My Lai massacre case. 
1973 The first American prisoners of war (POWs) were released 
 from the "Hanoi Hilton" in Hanoi, North Vietnam. 
1982 In El Salvador, four Dutch television crewmembers were 
 killed by government troops. 
1985 U.S. President Reagan agreed to a joint study with 
 Canada on acid rain. 
1989 A series of solar flares caused a violent magnetic storm 
 that brought power outages over large regions of Canada. 
1992 In Buenos Aires, 10 people were killed in a suicide 
 car-bomb attack against the Israeli embassy. 
1999 A panel of medical experts concluded that marijuana had 
 medical benefits for people suffering from cancer and AIDS. 
1999 The International Olympic Committee expelled six of its 
 members in the wake of a bribery scandal. 
2000 In Kanungu, Uganda, a fire at a church linked to the 
 cult known as the Movement for the Restoration of the 
 Ten Commandments killed more than 530. On March 31, officials 
 set the number of deaths linked to the cult at more than 900 
 after authorities subsequently found mass graves at various 
 sites linked to the cult. 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 800 million applications 
 downloaded.



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AOL to Outlook 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Alaskan arrested after he repeatedly hits sled dogs in Iditarod race with his snowmobile Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 15, in 1190 The Crusaders began the massacre of Jews in York, England. ______________________________________________________ It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do think. ---- Olin Miller ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Liz, the waitress: "What would you like to drink?" Joe: "Just a coffee, without cream." Liz: "We don't have cream here. Do you want it without milk?" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach talking about how much their sons love them. Sadie says, "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son, Aaron, bought that for me for my 75th birthday. What a good boy he is, and how much he loves his mother." Minnie says,"You call that love? You know the Eldorado Cadillac I just got for Mother's Day? That's from my son Bernie. What a doll." Shirley says, "That's nothing. You know my son Stanley? He's in analysis with a psychoanalyst on Park Ave. Five session a week. And what does he talk about every session? Me." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arnold Demoski, 26, Nulato Alaska Alaskan arrested after he repeatedly hits sled dogs in Iditarod race with his snowmobile A man accused of intentionally driving a snowmobile into teams of two mushers near the front of the Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race has apologized for the incident in a Yukon River village of Alaska, but says he doesn't recall what happened. However, he claimed that the circling back and repeated attacks were just because he circled back to see if they were dead. At his speed, 80 - 90 mph, he would not have been able to tell. Arnold Demoski, 26, of Nulato, was arrested Saturday on suspicion of assault, reckless endangerment, reckless driving and six counts of criminal mischief. Demoski spoke to KTUU-TV, saying he was returning home from a night of drinking when he struck Aliy Zirkle and Jeff King's teams early Saturday morning. Hopefully he will also be charged with impaired driving. The crashes killed one of King's dogs and injured at least two others. One of Zirkle's dogs also was injured. Iditarod officials at first reported King had been injured. But the four-time champion said later the snowmobile had missed both him and his sled and just rammed the dogs. Demoski said when he woke up Saturday morning and heard what had happened to the mushers, he checked his snowmobile and realized he had done it. The snowmobile was missing a part and had rust-colored (blood) stains, he said. Demoski said he doesn't remember the collisions, which the Iditarod described as apparently intentional attacks. One dog on Zirkle's team was bruised. Officials described the injury as non-life-threatening. Zirkle reached Nulato and told a race official the incident had left her shaken. "I'm really bad. Someone tried to kill me with a snowmachine," she said on a video posted to the Iditarod Insider webpage. Snowmachine is what Alaskans call snowmobiles. King, a four-time Iditarod champion, was behind Zirkle and fared worse. When King reached the vicinity 12 miles outside of Nulato, his team was struck from behind by the snowmobile. Nash, a 3-year-old male, was killed. Crosby, another 3-year-old male, and Banjo, a 2-year-old male, received injuries and are expected to survive. King told the Iditarod Insider the snowmobile narrowly missed him and his sled, but rammed his dogs at high speed. "One of my dogs was killed pretty much on the spot, and a couple others I gave first aid to the best I could and loaded them into my sled," he told the Iditarod camera crew." Nash, who was murdered by the assassin: Musher King told Alaska Public Radio: "...And at the point of impact, the snowmachine’s cowling had flown off, the driver did not stop, and he was a distant light in an instant. He went by at 80 or 90 miles per hour, hit me, never slowed down. His snowmachine cowling flew off and he was gone.” The iditiarod dog sled race is about 1000 Miles from Anchorage to Nome to comemorate the 1925 treck of 20 mushers and dog teams that brought deperately needed diphtheria serum from Anchorage to Nome in 127 hours. I used to use dog teams for logging and transportation in the Yukon, and I sincerely hope the judge throws the book at this @#$%&*! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rita Re: AOL to Outlook Dear Webby Hope you are doing well this fine day.. I switched over to aol mail over the weekend..I always read my mail though outlook with Verizon....I have outlook 2013..Could you please tell me how to read my AOL mail through outlook? I remember now why I switched from aol many years ago..Their service is horrible.Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Rita. Dear Rita I bet all of your friends are digging up AOL jokes and razzing you. I am sorry about that, and will refrain from doing that too. You probably have a good enough reason for doing that. Verizon is a company an awful lot of people love to hate, and not really known for doing customers any favors. They have bought AOL, possibly to further annoy their victims, and will slide their email processing over to AOL. Here are the instructions for Outlook. With AOL POP is bad, IMAP is good. Apparently they can't handle standard POP email correctly. Print out this page, then follow it step by step: http://pop2imap.com/aol_outlook_2013.php Do you want to change your address of your subscription, or can you keep the Verizon address? With Verizon downgrading their email to AOL, it will be extremely important to get proper spam protection like MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A "too dumb to be a criminal" bonehead award, goes to a UK burglar who entered a couple's home with his dog to burgle it and who then escaped through the window when the couple suddenly returned, leaving his dog, Roxy, behind. Police put Roxy on a leash and then followed her home. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick Rice with Beans By dwedenoja [25 Posts, 17 Comments] Quick and easy Ingredients: 4 cups instant rice 1 (15 oz.) can pinto beans, undrained 1 cup shredded medium cheddar cheese lemon pepper seasoned salt Directions: Make 4 cups of instant rice according to directions. Add undrained pinto beans, cheese, pepper, and seasoned salt. Stir and cook on low until the cheese is melted. So good. Serve as a side dish. I like it with Tacos. Yummy and easy! Cooking Time:30 Minutes By Dorothy from New Creek, WV ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sue had invited all the ladies in her support group to a dinner party. After a full day of preparation they were all finally gathered around the table. Sue turned to her six-year-old daughter and asked: "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I don't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say something that you heard Mommy say." The daughter bowed her head, thought about what mom had said at lunch and sang out: "Good Lord, why on earth did I invite all those whiny dingbats to dinner?" ___________________________________________________
secret service reverse driver training
____________________________________________________ Linda was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired as to the reason for her worrying. Linda informed her friend that her mom was always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all!" Linda replied, "Oh, I don't know, probably waiting for me to come home." ____________________________________________________ A parent decreed one Christmas that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. The next year things were different, however. "The children came over in person to thank me," gramma told a friend triumphantly. "How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in behavior?" "Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the checks." ____________________________________________________
This guy has some serious talent with paint.

Today on March 16
1190 The Crusaders began the massacre of Jews in York, England.
1521 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the 
 Philippines. He was killed the next month by natives. 
1527 The Emperor Babur defeated the Rajputs at the Battle 
 of Kanvaha in India. 
1621 Samoset walked into the settlement of Plymouth Colony, 
 later Plymouth, MA. Samoset was a native from the Monhegan 
 tribe in Maine who spoke English. 
1871 The State of Delaware enacted the first fertilizer law. 
1907 The world's largest cruiser, the British Invincible was 
 completed at Glasgow. 
1908 China released the Japanese steamship Tatsu Maru. 
1909 Cuba suffered its first revolt only six weeks after 
 the inauguration of Gomez. 
1913 The 15,000-ton battleship Pennsylvania was launched 
 at Newport News, VA. 
1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated his throne. 
1926 Physicist Robert H. Goddard launched the first 
 liquid-fuel rocket. 
1928 The U.S. planned to send 1,000 more Marines to Nicaragua. 
1935 Adolf Hitler ordered a German rearmament and violated 
 the Versailles Treaty. 
1939 Germany occupied the rest of Czechoslovakia. 
1945 Iwo Jima was declared secure by the Allies. However, 
 small pockets of Japanese resistance still existed. 
1947 Martial law was withdrawn in Tel Aviv. 
1950 Congress voted to remove federal taxes on oleomargarine. 
1968 U.S. troops in Vietnam destroyed a village consisting 
 mostly of women and children. The event is known as the 
 My-Lai massacre. 
1988 Mickey Thompson and his wife Trudy were shot to death in 
 their driveway. Thompson, known as the "Speed King," set 
 nearly 500 auto speed endurance records including being the 
 first person to travel more than 400 mph on land. 
1993 In France, ostrich meat was officially declared fit for 
 human consumption. 
1994 Tonya Harding pled guilty in Portland, OR, to conspiracy 
 to hinder prosecution for covering up the attack on her skating 
 rival Nancy Kerrigan. She was fined $100,000. She was also 
 banned from amateur figure skating. 
1998 Rwanda began mass trials for 1994 genocide with 125,000 
 suspects for 500,000 murders. 
1999 The 20 members of the European Union's European Commission 
 announced their resignations amid allegations of corruption 
 and financial mismanagement.


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Icon for a free weather site 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 15
The oracle warned Cesar about the Ides of March, (March 15)
Guard your back, senators are on the loose!



Thank you, Bonita!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Naked Oregon man walked into stranger's home, said 'Hi', got chased away and fell off cliff. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 15, in 44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high ranking Roman Senators. The oracle had warned him about the "Ides of March." (March 15) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lucy from Alabama for this one. After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). The husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules, did taxidermy and sold Amway) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in 'Bama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me" Next the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. After that he told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherrybomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Trisha got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get caught in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got caught in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, but you can follow me over to K-Mart" ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Yesterday's Darwin Award was a hoax, that had been repeated by all kinds of sites. Sorry about that! Thanks to Subscriber Frank for alerting me to my goof. An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Burton, 30, Pendleton, Oregon Naked Oregon man walked into stranger's home, said 'Hi', got chased away and fell off cliff. First his penis was dangling, and then he was - off a cliff. A man in Pendleton, Oregon, is behind bars after allegedly walking naked into the home of a woman he didn't know. "Hi, honey," he supposedly said, while trying to hug her. Officials said they later rescued him after he fell off a cliff and got caught upside-down in a tree. He was still naked. Gail Wilson was at home eating soup Saturday afternoon when the naked man appeared in her doorway. “He had a big grin on his face,” she told the East Oregonian newspaper. “He came walking toward me with his arms open wide. I kept saying ‘Get away from me. Get out of my house.’" Wilson, who suffers from muscular dystrophy, feared for her life. “I thought, ‘This is it, I’m going to be raped or murdered,'” Wilson told the paper. “I’d more or less accepted my fate. Today was my day. But I wasn’t going to let him take me gently.” Wilson shoved the naked intruder and told him to get away. She said the man grabbed her dog and took it into one of her bedrooms for a few minutes, according to KPTV.com. Wilson called 911. The dispatcher told her to ask the man his name, but that made him mad, and he ran out the door just as police arrived. The naked suspect, later identified as 30-year-old Stephen Burton, tried to escape by climbing a fence, that had been installed to keep people from falling down the cliff, shortly before falling. “Burton was hanging upside down from a tree by his ankle,” Pendleton Police Chief Stuart Roberts told MyColumbiaBasin.com. “During this time, he was aggressive, non-cooperative. At one point, he even tried to pull the handgun from one of the assistant deputy’s holster.” “We worked to keep him calm,” Dwight Johnson, an Umatilla County Sheriff’s Deputy, told EastOregonian.com. He said Burton seemed to be in a state known as “excited delirium” that is sometimes triggered by drugs. Burton was booked at the Umatilla County Jail on charges of burglary, harassment, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fred Re: Weather site Dear Webby Do you know of a icon that will have the weather and temp. the is also free? Fred Dear Fred Go to http://www.theweathernetwork.com/ca/weather/alberta/black-diamond They will show you MY weather. Change the location in that, or sign up and put in your location and preferences. Then, when you get the weather for your town or village, drag the tiny icon from the left of the URL onto your desktop. That icon will then be your link to your weather. You can, of course, change the icon by RIGHT clicking it, Properties, Web Document Change Icon There are hundreds of icons in Windows, and you can also create your own. If you don't know how to create new icons, send me a picture that you want reduced to an icon. regular JPG is fine. I'll mail you a .ICO file back. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind ?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Question: Wine Stains on Crystal By carolyn [4 Posts] How do I clean a red wine stain left in the bottom of a crystal glass? By Carolyn from Sydney, NSW Fill the decanter with a cup of cold water add 2 tablespoons of uncooked rice. Put the stoper on and hold it down while shaking the decanter, the rice will scrub the stain off. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Joe said to his wife, "Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our road except one." She replied, " Hmmm, I'll bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis at number 23." ___________________________________________________
an old trick with a new twist
____________________________________________________ A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, she just fainted!" ____________________________________________________ Fred was in the hospital after a bad accident. He was in stable condition and expected to recover soon, but relatives from far and near were there visiting him. When the pastor heard about that he decided to pop in and get re-aquainted with them all. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate suddenly and he frantically motioned for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then suddenly died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. We'll let his widow read to us the last words Fred had for us." And with that he handed the note to Fred's widow. She opened the note, and read, "Step back, you idiot! You're standing on my oxygen tube!" ____________________________________________________
Gregory Klassen transforms knots and live edges into rivers and lakes and they're gorgeous!

Today on March 15
44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high 
 ranking Roman Senators. The oracle had warned him about the 
 "Ides of March." (March 15)
1341 During the Hundred Years War, an alliance was signed 
 between Roman Emperor Louis IV and France's Philip VI. 
1493 Christopher Columbus returned to Spain after his first 
 New World voyage. 
1778 In command of two frigates, the Frenchman la Perouse 
 sailed east from Botany Bay for the last lap of his voyage 
 around the world. 
1781 During the American Revolution, the Battle of Guilford 
 Courthouse took place in North Carolina. British General 
 Cornwallis' 1,900 soldiers defeated an American force of 4,400. 
1864 Red River Campaign began as the Union forces reach 
 Alexandria, LA. 
1875 The Roman Catholic Archbishop of New York, John McCloskey, 
 was named the first American cardinal. 
1892 New York State unveiled the new automatic ballot voting 
 machine. 
1892 Jesse W. Reno patented the Reno Inclined Elevator. It was 
 the first escalator. 
1902 In Boston, MA, 10,000 freight handlers went back to work 
 after a weeklong strike. 
1903 The British conquest of Nigeria was completed. 500,000 
 square miles were now controlled by the U.K. 
1904 Three hundred Russians were killed as the Japanese shelled 
 Port Arthur in Korea. 
1907 In Finland, women won their first seats in the Finnish 
 Parliament. They took their seats on May 23. 
1909 Italy proposed a European conference on the Balkans. 
1916 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sent 12,000 troops under 
General Pershing, over the border of Mexico to pursue bandit 
 Pancho Villa. The mission failed. 
1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated himself and his son. 
 His brother Grand Duke succeeded as czar. 
1922 Fuad I assumed the title of king of Egypt after the 
 country gained nominal independence from Britain. 
1934 Henry Ford restored the $5 a day wage. 
1935 Joseph Goebbels, German Minister of Propaganda banned 
 four Berlin newspapers. 
1937 In Chicago, IL, the first blood bank to preserve blood 
 for transfusion by refrigeration was established at the 
 Cook County Hospital. 
1938 Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia. 
1939 German forces occupied Bohemia and Moravia, and part of 
 Czechoslovakia. 
1944 Cassino, Italy, was destroyed by Allied bombing. 15,000
 civilians were killed and all buildings demolished. 
1946 British Premier Attlee offered India full independence 
 after agreement on a constitution. 
1949 Clothes rationing in Great Britain ended nearly four years 
 after the end of World War II. 
1951 General de Lattre demanded that Paris send him more troops 
 for the fight in Vietnam. 
1951 The Persian parliament voted to nationalize the oil industry. 
1955 The U.S. Air Force unveiled a self-guided missile. 
1956 The musical "My Fair Lady" opened on Broadway. 
1960 The first underwater park was established as 
 Key Largo Coral Reef Preserve. 
1964 In Montreal, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor 
 were married.
1968 The U.S. mint halted the practice of buying and 
 selling gold. 
1982 Nicaragua's ruling junta proclaimed a month-long 
 state of siege and suspended the nation's constitution 
 for one day. This came a day after anti-government 
 rebels destroyed two bridges near the Honduran border. 
1985 In Brazil, two decades of military rule came to an 
 end with the installation of a civilian government. 
1989 The U.S. Food and Drug administration decided to 
 impound all fruit imported from Chili after two 
 cyanide-tainted grapes were found in Philadelphia, PA. 
1989 The U.S. Department of Veteran's Affairs became the 
 14th Department in the President's Cabinet. 
1990 In Iraq, British journalist Farzad Bazoft was hanged 
 for spying. 
1990 Mikhail Gorbachev was elected the first executive 
 president of the Soviet Union. 
1990 The Soviet parliament ruled that Lithuania's declaration 
 of independence was invalid and that Soviet law was still 
 in force in the Baltic republic. Lithuania told them where 
 to stuff it.
1991 Four Los Angeles police officers were indicted in the 
 televised beating of Rodney King on March 3, 1991.
1991 Yugoslav President Borisav Jovic resigned after about 
 a week of anit-communist protests. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton extended the moratorium on nuclear 
 testing until September of 1995. 
1996 The aviation firm Fokker NV collapsed. 
1998 More than 15,000 ethnic Albanians marched in Yugoslavia 
 to demand independence for Kosovo. 
1998 CBS' "60 Minutes" aired an interview with former White 
 House employee Kathleen Willey. Wiley said U.S. President 
 Clinton made unwelcome sexual advances toward her in the 
 Oval Office in 1993. 
2002 Libyan Abdel Baset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi began his life 
 sentence in a Scottish jail for his role in the bombing of 
 Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21, 1988. 
2002 In the U.S., Burger King began selling a veggie burger. 
 The event was billed as the first veggie burger to be sold 
 nationally by a fast food chain. 
2002 In Texas, Andrea Yates received a life sentence for 
 drowning her five children on June 20, 2001. 
2002 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell told the Associated 
 Press that the U.S. would stand by a 24-year pledge not to 
 use nuclear arms against states that don't have them. 
2004 Clive Woodall's novel "One for Sorrow: Two for Joy" 
 was published. Two days later Woodall sold the film rights 
 to Walt Disney Co. for $1 million. 
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Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, March 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award AND a Darwin Award goes to a Florida zoo employee killed while attempting to rape an alligator Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 14, in 1489 Catherine Cornaro, Queen of Cyprus, sold her kingdom to Venice. She was the last of the Lusignan dynasty. ______________________________________________________ "Whatever it is the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else." --- PJ Orourke Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is a classic that keeps coming back: A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open. The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?" Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
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or
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______________________________________________________ Thanks to Shirley M for these famous quotes from TV shows: Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and ask him if he's married? A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score? A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A: Charley Weaver: His feet. Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls? A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin A ward has been earned by Jimmy Olsen 24, Naples, Floriduh Florida zoo employee killed while attempting to rape a young alligator A zoo keeper was killed this morning in the alligator enclosure of the Naples Zoo, while he was attempting to sexually assault a 12 foot long reptile. According to Captain Henri White, spokesman of the Naples Police Department, 24-year old Jimmy Olsen was engaged in full sexual intercourse with one of the younger reptiles, when he was surprised by one of the larger animals which attacked from behind. The young man was caught by the throat by the alligator, who dragged him underwater and drowned him. Jimmy Olsen’s death took place around 6:00 AM this morning, but his disappearance was noticed only an hour later by other employees. They finally discovered his dismembered body floating in the pool of the alligator enclosure around 8:30. “The images captured by the security cameras show that Mr Olsen had clearly placed himself in a very vulnerable position,” Captain White told reporters. “He had his pants around his knees and was lying down on top of one the animals, with his back to the others. The poor guy didn’t stand a chance! We can see him being dragged in the water, then he disappears from sight. He was probably dead within thirty seconds of the attack.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Patricia Re: Thumbnail maker Dear Webby I need a program for making thumbnails of a huge number of pictures. And NO, it can not be anything as dangerous as a paint program, it has to be simple and hubby-proof and not have the option of accidentally destroying the original by overwriting it with a little thumbnail. Also, I don't want a program that makes proof sheets because there will have to be some serious weeding out first. Just something simple and fast that will process a drive or a directory full of pictures in one batch and not need any messing around with individual pictures. Thanks Patricia Dear Patricia For that I would recommend Oscar's Thumb-Maker. You can download it free from http://www.mediachance.com/free/thumber.htm It's at the right hand bottom of that page. The left side of that page is just the story of why Oscar wrote that thumbnail maker. The trick with that program is to FIRST make a folder where you want it to store the thumbnails. The rest is easy. Browse to the drive or directory that has the originals, select that. Browse to the destination directory and select that. Choose the size, and hit start. It takes about 1/2 to 3/4 of a second per picture, and when it stops flashing the thumbnails in a high speed slide show, it is done. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ It was Judi's first plane trip. Boarding the aircraft she settled into a window seat in the smoking section. A man came over and politely said, "Ma'am, you're in my seat." "Go away and find another seat!" Judi replied. He said, "Okay, fine, you fly the plane." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing the Inside of an Egg By Katherine Main [1 Post] Stick a hole in each end of the egg with a needle being careful not to crack the egg as you slowly get the hole started with the needle. You then blow on one end of the raw egg and the egg will go through the other end if the hole is as large as the head of a pin. Hold over a bowl. You can use the eggs to make scrambled eggs if you are doing a lot. This is the only method I know of how to remove raw eggs and then you can place a sequin with glue over the small hole. Use a leather needle for the holes! They are like a 3 sided pyramid drawn to a sharp point, with each corner of the pyramid sharp enough to cut thick leather. You can twirl it like a drill and grind a hole into the shell. There is no strain on the shell and never a crack. Once you have both holes needle size, you can use a cheap 3/16" drillbit to enlage the exit hole. Just twirl it between thumb and forefinger, like you did with the leather needle. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A recent study found that 35% of men have been injured while undoing a woman's bra. That's correct. While unfastening a woman's stabilizing devise, men have received strained tendons, scratches, and other similar injuries. My neighbor Bob can vouch for that. He got injured today while trying to undo a woman's bra. When he undid the woman in front of him in the checkout line, she turned and hit him with a frozen chicken. ___________________________________________________
an old trick with a new twist
____________________________________________________ Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain what the value of the insured property was just before it burned, and then provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband." ____________________________________________________ A man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a minute?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife instantly appears out of nowhere." ____________________________________________________
These cookies are too pretty to eat!

Today on March 14
1489 Catherine Cornaro, Queen of Cyprus, sold her kingdom to 
 Venice. She was the last of the Lusignan dynasty. 
1629 A Royal charter was granted to the Massachusetts Bay Colony. 
1647 During the Thirty Years War, France, Sweden, Bavaria and 
 Cologne signed a Treaty of Neutrality. 
1757 British Admiral John Byng was executed by a firing squad on 
 board HMS Monarch for neglect of duty. 
1794 Eli Whitney received a patent for his cotton gin. 
1864 Samuel Baker discovered another source of the Nile in East 
 Africa. He named it Lake Albert Nyanza. 
1891 The submarine Monarch laid telephone cable along the bottom 
 of the English Channel to prepare for the first telephone links 
 across the Channel. 
1900 U.S. currency went on the gold standard with the ratification 
 of the Gold Standard Act. 
1900 In Holland, Botanist Hugo de Vries rediscovered Mendel's 
 laws of heredity. 
1901 Utah Governor Heber M. Wells vetoed a bill that would have 
 relaxed restrictions on polygamy. 
1905 French bankers refused to lend money to Russia until after 
 their war. 
1905 The British House of Commons cited a need to compete with 
 Germany in naval strength. 
1906 The island of Ustica was devastated by an earthquake. 
1914 Henry Ford announced the new continuous motion method to 
 assemble cars. The process decreased the time to make a car 
 from 12½ hours to 93 minutes. 
1915 The British Navy sank the German battleship Dresden off 
 the Chilean coast. 
1923 President Harding became the first U.S. President to file 
 an income tax report. 
1932 George Eastman, the founder of the Kodak company, 
 committed suicide. 
1936 Adolf Hitler told a crowd of 300,000 that Germany's only 
 judge is God and itself. 
1939 Hungary occupied the Carpatho-Ukraine. Slovakia declared 
 its independence. 
1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first U.S. 
 President to fly in an airplane while in office. 
1945 In Germany, a 22,000 pound "Grand Slam" bomb was dropped by 
 the Royal Air Force Dambuster Squad on the Bielefeld railway viaduct. 
 It was the heaviest bomb used during World War II. 
1947 The U.S. signed a 99-year lease on naval bases in the Philippines. 
1947 Moscow announced that 890,532 German POWs were held in the U.S.S.R. 
1951 U.N. forces recaptured Seoul for the second time during the Korean War. 
1958 The U.S. government suspended arms shipments to the Batista 
 government of Cuba making it possible for Castro to defeat the government. 
1964 A Dallas jury found Jack Ruby guilty of the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald. 
1976 Egypt formally abrogated the 1971 Treaty Friendship and Cooperation 
 with the Soviet Union. 
1978 An Israeli force of 22,000 invaded south Lebanon. 
 The PLO bases were hit. 
1979 Near Peking, China, at least 200 people died when a Trident aircraft 
 crashed into a factory. 
1980 A Polish airliner crashed while making an emergency landing near 
 Warsaw. 87 people were killed. A 14-man U.S. boxing team was aboard 
 the plane. 
1981 Three Pakistani airline hijackers surrendered in Syria after they 
 had exchanged 100 passengers and crewmen for 54 Pakistani prisoners. 
1983 OPEC agreed to cut its oil prices by 15% for the first time in 
 its 23-year history. 
1989 Imported assault guns were banned in the U.S. under President 
 George H.W. Bush. 
1991 The "Birmingham Six," imprisoned for 16 years for their alleged part 
 in an IRA pub bombing, were set free after a court agreed that the 
 police fabricated evidence. 
1991 Bolivian interior minister Guillermo Capobianco resigned after 
 U.S. officials accused him of receiving money from drug traffickers. 
1995 American astronaut Norman Thagard became the first American to 
 enter space aboard a Russian rocket. 
1996 U.S. President Bill Clinton committed $100 million for an 
 anti-terrorism pact with Israel to track down and root out 
 Islamic militants. 
1998 An earthquake left 10,000 homeless in southeastern Iran. 
2002 A Scottish appeals court upheld the conviction of a Libyan 
 intelligence agent for the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight 103. 
 A five-judge court ruled unanimously that Abdel Basset Ali 
 al-Megrahi was guilty of bringing down the plane over 
 Lockerbie, Scotland. 
2003 Robert Blake was released from jail on $1.5 million bail. 
 Blake had been jailed for the murder of his wife Bonny Lee Bakley.
2016  smiled.


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Is W10 OK now? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, March 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NH man charged after taking excavator, tearing down Franklin building Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 13, in 1519 Cortez landed in Mexico. ______________________________________________________ "A man is given the choice between loving women and understanding them." --- Ninon de Lenclos (1620-1705) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde. "I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady there. You insisted there could be no discount on this model." "Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and, just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman. Just then the young woman approached the aged couple and gave them the keys. "There you go," she said. "I told you I would get the dope to reduce it. See you later, grandpa. Never mess with the elderly! ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ “I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you? “All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!” ______________________________________________________ Are you there? From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jordan Ingram, 28, Franklin, New Hampshire NH man charged after taking excavator, tearing down Franklin building A New Hampshire man is facing charges after police say he took his mother's excavator and began tearing down a building in Franklin. He caused enough damage that the building is now condemned. Police arrested Jordan Ingram, 28, after receiving a report o f a person damaging a building on Tannery Street. Ingram was captured as he was in a car on Interstate 89 in New London, according to police. Police say they don't know why he decided to start tearing down the building. He has been charged with destruction of property and criminal mischief. Ingram's mother owns the excavator and was trying to buy the building on Tannery Street. She told News 9 that she planned to have Ingram live there. When she saw him in the excavator, she called the police on him. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Is W10 OK now? Dear Webby Need your advise again. Running Windows 8.1 on my one year old DELL "All in One". I have a free version of Windows 10 available on my computer. I get reminders from DELL several times a week to download. I can't afford to purchase Windows 10 and wonder whether it is OK to download now as I notice they have issued several updates. Would appreciate your advise. Bob Daily Voter. Dear Bob I know W8 is bad, but not nearly as bad as W10. Wait for 10.2 or 10.3, or better yet, get whatever is installed on your next machine. They just want to overload your machine with W10, so that you get fed up with your machine and buy a new one. Ignore their silly nagging. There might even be a way to stop it if you contact DELL support Keep in mind, YOU don't need W10. It's only the Chinese computer manufacturers who need you to overload your W8 machine and get a new one. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ From a church newsletter: We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. The Advent Retreat will be held on the second Sinday in December in the lover level of St. Mary's Church. The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared. The Ladies Auxiliary will be serving hot gods for lunch. As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. If you are not getting the church newsletter, please unsubscribe. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Porcupine Quills Before Removing By Jess [141 Posts, 789 Comments] If you ever have the bad luck to remove porcupine quills from your dog (or yourself), don't just rip the quills out. The barb will cause more damage going out than going in. If you snip off the quill, the hollow walls will collapse, allowing you to remove the barbed quill with less damage. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While shopping in the mall, two woman with three children blocked the passage while they were looking at a display in the window of a lingerie store. As one pointed to some lacy pyjamas with matching robe in the window she asked the other woman with a wink: "Do you think Fred would like this?" "No way," her about six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never wear that!" ___________________________________________________
Swanee River Boogie Woogie - Piano Solo
____________________________________________________ Mr. and Mrs. Thorne had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the plane for their two-week's vacation in the Bahamas. "I wish we'd brought the piano with us," said Mr. Thorne. "What on earth for?" asked his wife. "I left the tickets on it." ____________________________________________________ As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a woman standing by the curb waiting for somebody. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but if that dog hadn't honked..." ____________________________________________________
15 Finalists from Smithsonian’s 13th Annual Photo Contest.

Today on March 13
0607 The 12th recorded passage of Halley's Comet occurred. 
1519 Cortez landed in Mexico. 
1660 A statute was passed limiting the sale of slaves in 
 the colony of Virginia. 
1777 The U.S. Congress ordered its European envoys to appeal 
 to high-ranking foreign officers to send troops to reinforce 
 the American army. 
1781 Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus. 
1861 Jefferson Davis signed a bill authorizing slaves to be 
 used as soldiers for the Confederacy. 
1877 Chester Greenwood patented the earmuff. 
1884 Standard time was adopted throughout the U.S. 
1901 Andrew Carnegie announced that he was retiring from 
 business and that he would spend the rest of his days 
 giving away his fortune. His net worth was estimated 
 at $300 million. 
1902 In Poland, schools were shut down across the country 
 when students refused to sing the Russian hymn 
 "God Protect the Czar." 
1902 Andrew Carnegie approved 40 applications from libraries 
 for donations. 
1908 The people of Jerusalem saw an automobile for the first 
 time. The owner was Charles Glidden of Boston. 
1911 The U.S. Supreme Court approved corporate tax law. 
1915 The Germans repelled a British expeditionary force 
 attack in France. 
1918 Women were scheduled to march in the St. Patrick's 
 Day Parade in New York due to a shortage of men due 
 to wartime. 
1925 A law in Tennessee prohibited the teaching of evolution. 
1930 It was announced that the planet Pluto had been discovered 
 by scientist Clyde Tombaugh at the Lowell Observatory. 
1935 Three-thousand-year-old archives were found in Jerusalem 
 confirming some biblical history. 
1941 Adolf Hitler issued an edict calling for an invasion of the 
 U.S.S.R. 
1943 Japanese forces ended their attack on the American troops 
 on Hill 700 in Bougainville. 
1946 Reports from Iran indicated that Soviet tanks units were 
 stationed 20 miles from Tehran. 
1946 Premier Tito seized wartime collaborator General Draja 
 Mikhailovich in a cave in Yugoslavia. 
1951 Israel demanded $1.5 billion in German reparations for 
 the cost of caring for war refugees. 
1957 Jimmy Hoffa was arrested by the FBI on bribery charges. 
1963 China invited Soviet President Khrushchev to visit Peking. 
1969 The Apollo 9 astronauts returned to Earth after the 
 conclusion of a mission that included the successful 
 testing of the Lunar Module. 
1970 Cambodia ordered Hanoi and Viet Cong troops to leave. 
1970 Digital Equipment Corp. introduced the PDP-11 minicomputer. 
1974 The U.S. Senate voted 54-33 to restore the death penalty. 
1974 An embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries 
 was lifted. 
1980 A jury in Winamac, IN, found Ford Motor Company innocent 
 of reckless homicide in the deaths of three young women that 
 had been riding in a Ford Pinto. 
1990 The U.S. lifted economic sanctions against Nicaragua. 
1991 Exxon paid $1 billion in fines and for the clean-up 
 of the Alaskan oil spill. 
2002 Fox aired "Celebrity Boxing." Tonya Harding beat 
 Paula Jones, Danny Banaduce beat Barry Williams and 
 Todd Bridges defeated Vanilla Ice. 
2003 Japan sent a destroyer to the Sea of Japan amid 
 reports that North Korea was planning to test an 
 intermediate-range ballistic missile. 
2003 A report in the journal "Nature" reported that 
 scientists had found 350,000-year-old human footprints 
 in Italy. The 56 prints were made by three early, 
 upright-walking humans that were descending the side 
 of a volcano. 
2012 After 244 years of publication, Encyclopædia Britannica 
 announced it would discontinue its print edition.
2016  smiled.


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Drivers licenses over the net 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, March 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Naked New Mexico dope, who led cops on 100 mph chase Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 11, in 1496 Jews were expelled from Syria. ______________________________________________________ No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. --- Henry Adams (1838 - 1918) "It takes a lot of practice for a girl to kiss like a beginner." -- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy. "I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," the second answered. "They've got race riots, gang warfare, cops out of control, the highest crime rate....." "Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and its not bad as the media says. Find a nice home, preferably an hour or tow out from downtown, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it. .....What do you do for a living?" "Me?" said the first, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck." -------------- They used to tell that joke about Chicago, but according to one friend who lives there, Chicago has become safer than visiting his mother-in-law. ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A man was standing first in line for tickets from those who had canceled their reservations to a sold-out play. The manager said he had two together, and pointed to the two women behind the man. "You wouldn't want to come between Mother and daughter, would you?" The man turned around, and replied, "No. I did that once, and regretted it right up until the divorce." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Barbara Arellano 51, Santa Fee New Mexico Naked New Mexico dope, who led cops on 100 mph chase A naked female motorist led New Mexico cops on a 100 mph chase Saturday morning that ended when she crashed the vehicle and then was running around on the freeway. After receiving 911 calls about a woman driving recklessly on Interstate 25 in Santa Fe, cops spotted Barbara Arellano, 51, behind the wheel of a Toyota Rav4 that was careening across the road. As she drove, Arellano was throwing items from the car, which topped 100 mph before it clipped a truck and crashed, according to a police report. Somehow, Arellano escaped from the vehicle unhurt and unburdened by clothes. Police dashcam footage showing the naked and top-heavy Arellano running through traffic (while doing this, she repeatedly yelled “Jehovah!”), has been x-rated and is not available to the public.. Arellano, pictured above, was eventually wrestled to the ground by police who covered her in a blue tarp provided by a passing motorist. According to investigators, Arellano explained that she had “used heroin, took a bunch of pills and drank whisky just before driving.” As for her lack of garments, Arellano explained that she was hot. Bystanders agreed. During a search of Arellano’s vehicle, cops found prescription pill bottles containing Tizanidine, a muscle relaxant, and Lorazepam, an anti-anxiety drug. Arellano was charged with drunk driving, battery on a peace officer, reckless driving, and fleeing from police. She was released from the Santa Fe lockup late Monday night after posting bond. Arellano’s rap sheet includes prior arrests for narcotics possession and disorderly conduct. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harvey T. Re: How good are those international drivers licenses you can get over the net? Dear Webby Lately I saw a lot of mail re an international drivers license that you can order over the net and tha can even be used as ID. Is that true? Harvey T Dear Harvey Always remember: "Spammers Lie". Think about it. What would your typical state trooper say if he pulls you over and you hand him some international drivers license based on the Cayman Islands ? "OK, Mr Smart-Ass from the Cayman Islands. Show me your Visitors Visa ! Haven't got one? Well, we will just have to deport you back to the Islands then. Don't worry about these handcuffs. They won't feel so tight once you get used to them." With legitimate drivers licenses, "International" is just an addendum class of license, like an "Air-Brake" or "Bus" endorsement. Each legitimate drivers license is based on a jurisdiction that vouches for the fact that you have been properly identified and tested for your abilities. If you don't have a visitors Visa from that jurisdiction to the one in which the state trooper or policeman is based, then you are in a lot more trouble than if you had said you haven't got a drivers license. Some of those International drivers licenses are even worse, they generate a printable license with your name and addres, and a mug shot of a moneky. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house. Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No," replied Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without me asking." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Porcupine Quills Before Removing By Jess [141 Posts, 789 Comments] If you ever have the bad luck to remove porcupine quills from your dog (or yourself), don't just rip the quills out. The barb will cause more damage going out than going in. If you snip off the quill, the hollow walls will collapse, allowing you to remove the barbed quill with less damage. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "I was married 3 times" explained the woman to a newly discovered bridge partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first 2 husbands died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd one died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame." said her friend , "How did THAT happen?" "He was a fussy eater and wouldn't eat the mushrooms." ___________________________________________________
Hans Klok - World record - 15 grand illusions in 5 minutes
____________________________________________________ A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son!" Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried, "Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours before he did!" ____________________________________________________ Q: What do you call a calf after it's six months old? A:Seven months old. ____________________________________________________
15 Finalists from Smithsonian’s 13th Annual Photo Contest.

Today on March 12
1496 Jews were expelled from Syria. 
1609 The Bermuda Islands became an English colony. 
1755 In North Arlington, NJ, the steam engine was used for 
 the first time in the US. 
1809 Britain signed a treaty with Persia forcing the French 
 to leave the country. 
1889 Almon B. Stowger applied for a patent for his automatic 
 telephone system. 
1894 Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time. 
1903 The Czar of Russia issued a decree providing for nominal 
 freedom of religion throughout his territory. 
1905 In Rome, Premier Giovanni Giolliwas forced out of office 
 by continued civil strife. 
1906 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that corporations must yield 
 incriminating evidence in anti-trust suits. 
1909 The British Parliament increased naval appropriations for 
 Britain. 
1909 Three U.S. warships were ordered to Nicaragua to stem the 
 conflict with El Salvador. 
1911 Dr. Fletcher of Rockefeller Institute discovered the cause 
 of infantile paralysis. 
1912 The Girl Scout organization was founded. The original name 
 was Girl Guides. 
1923 Dr. Lee DeForest demonstrated phonofilm. It was his technique 
 for putting sound on motion picture film. 
1930 Ghandi began his 200-mile march to the sea that symbolized 
 his defiance of British rule over India. 
1933 President Paul von Hindenburg dropped the flag of the German 
 Republic and ordered that the swastika and empire banner be 
 flown side by side. 
1938 The "Anschluss" took place as German troops entered Austria. 
1940 Finland surrendered to Russia ending the Russo-Finnish War. 
1944 Britain barred all travel to Ireland. 
1947 U.S. President Truman established the "Truman Doctrine" to 
 help Greece and Turkey resist Communism. 
1966 Bobby Hull, of the Chicago Blackhawks, became the first 
 National Hockey League (NHL) player to score 51 points in a single season. 
1985 Larry Bird (Boston Celtics) scored a club-record 60 points against 
 the Atlanta Hawks. 
1985 Former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon announced that he planned 
 to drop Secret Service protection and hire his own bodyguards in 
 an effort to lower the deficit by $3 million. 
1989 About 2,500 veterans and supporters marched at the Art Institute 
 of Chicago to demand that officials remove an American flag placed 
 on the floor as part of an exhibit. 
1992 Mauritius became a republic but remained a member of the British 
 Commonwealth. 
1993 In the U.S., the Pentagon called for the closure of 31 major 
 military bases. 
1994 A photo by Marmaduke Wetherell of the Loch Ness monster was 
 confirmed to be a hoax. The photo was taken of a toy submarine with 
 a head and neck attached. 
1994 The Church of England ordained its first women priests. 
1999 Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic became members of the 
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). All three countries were 
 members of the former Warsaw Pact. 
2002 Conoco and Phillips Petroleum stockholders approved a proposed 
 merger worth $15.6 billion. 
2003 In Utah, Elizabeth Smart was reunited with her family nine months 
 after she was abducted from her home. She had been taken on June 5, 
 2002, by a drifter, who had previously worked at the Smart home. 
2003 The U.S. Air Force announced that it would resume reconnaissance 
 flights off the coast of North Korea. The flights had stopped on 
 March 2 after an encounter with four armed North Korean jets. 
2009 It was announced that the Sears Tower in Chicago, IL, would be 
 renamed Willis Tower. 
2010 In the U.S., Apple began taking pre-orders for the iPad. 
2016  smiled.


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How should back-up CDs and removable drives be stored? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, March 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Sammy Luciano arrested for 34th time after driving drunk in a stolen car at 110 mph Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 11, in 1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt authorized the Lend-Lease Act, which authorized the act of providing war supplies to the Allies. Without that, Russia and England would have been defeated in a year. ______________________________________________________ When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody. --- W. S. Gilbert (1836 - 1911) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean This is Lexi. She's an 8 week-old German Shepherd. I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife, but it turns out she is allergic to dogs. So we are now looking to find her a new home. She is 39 years old, a beautiful and caring woman, who drives, is a great cook and keeps a very neat house. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Beth walked into the doctor's waiting room and couldn't find an empty seat anywhere. Finally, she walks over to one gentleman that was sitting down, and said, "I wonder if I might trouble you for your seat. You see, I'm pregnant." The gentleman groaned, and in obvious pain struggled to his feet and lurched across the room to lean on the the water fountain for support. As Beth sat down, another lady in the waiting room looked her over and said, "You know, if you hadn't told me, I never would have guessed you were pregnant. How far along are you?" Looking at her watch, she replied, "Oh, about a half an hour!" ______________________________________________________ Hi Owlie! From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sammy Luciano, 39, Palm City, Floriduh Sammy Luciano arrested for 34th time after driving a stolen car at 110 mph 39-year old Sammy Luciano is no stranger to illegal and dangerous behavior. Early this morning, Luciano tested the skills of Martin County Sheriff’s 400-Shift deputies, finding out quickly that they don’t give up until the job gets done. Late last night, the Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office released a BOLO (be on the look-out) reference a stolen car out of their county. Just after 4 o’clock this morning, MCSO spotted that vehicle, driving recklessly at speeds of more than 110-mph. Deputies conducted a felony traffic stop near I-95 and SR714. When they attempted to speak to the driver, (who turned out to be Luciano), he took off on foot and ran into a dark muddy wooded area. Deputies set up a perimeter, and within 45-minutes, plucked Luciano out of the muck. Luciano has an extensive criminal history for crimes such as burglary, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, robbery, fleeing and eluding, battery on a law enforcement officer, violation of probation, possession of drugs, driving with a suspended license, reckless driving, and causing serious injury or death by failing to stop. This time he was charged with felony drunk driving, grand theft of a motor vehicle, and resisting arrest. He was taken to the Martin County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Julia Re: How should back-up CDs and removable drives be stored? Dear Webby How should back-up CDs and removable drives be stored? Julia Dear Julia By far the best way to store them is in those lockable hardcase briefcases. If you are in a hurry to buy them, they are around $100, but every now and then they go on sale for as little as $14.95. Look for the ones that have combination lock latches and a harmonica style expansion section. To stand up CD's in them you need that expansion space. In those hardcases they are protected from dust, humidity, and rapid temperature changes. If you are in a hurry to evacuate the building for whatever emergency reason, you can quickly grab those hardcases with the company back-ups and carry them to safety in a much more civilized manner than juggling a stack of shoe boxes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ As the rookie cop passed a store he heard a noisy argument. He paused, listened again, then stepped inside to investigate. "What's going on?" he demanded. "What's all the noise about?" "It's nothing," said Latreesha, the proprietor. "I'm all alone!" "Wait a minute, Ma'am," said the cop. "I distinctly heard an argument going on." "You don't understand, officer," said Latreesha. "I'm alone in the store. Business is terrible. So to pass the time away, I talk to myself, and when I talk to myself, there's bound to be an argument." "How can you argue with yourself?" asked the cop. "It's easy, said Latreesha, "because I hate liars!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organic Coconut Oil Chocolates By Marjorie [81 Posts, 1,754 Comments] Organic Coconut Oil Chocolates By Marjorie [81 Posts, 1,754 Comments] These are the best chocolates I have ever had. This recipe is organic and free of genetically modified ingredients. I use cacao powder, not to be confused with cocoa, real maple syrup that has to be refrigerated and coconut oil. The commercially made syrups are full of high fructose corn syrup and some maple flavoring. I buy a lot of food online through vitacost.com. Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 24 or more Ingredients: 1 cup organic virgin coconut oil 1/2 cup organic cacao powder 1/4 cup pure maple syrup Steps: Place all ingredients in a stand mixer and blend until smooth (stopping a couple times to scrape down the sides). Using a tablespoon, measure chocolate mixture and drop on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Freeze for 1-2 hours. Remove and enjoy. Keep these chocolates in an air-tight container in your freezer. Option: add a couple drops of mint extract to give these chocolates a minty flavor. If you use real coconut oil, you will have to warm it to pour and measure it. If you don't like the real maple syrup, which can be rather harsh for people, who are not used to it, you can use honey. Then you don't have to keep them in the freezer. The Costco dried Mango chips in dark chocolate are a good example. No need to freeze or refrigerate, and quite hard even at room temperature. To get the strongest flavor, use "Fair Price" Cacao. It is more expensive, but mixing even a small percentage of it with regular Cacao makes a very noticeable difference. You can add raisins to the mix Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ May was teaching Susan, her 5-year-old grandaughter how to unbuckle her seat belt. Susan asked, "Do I click the square?" May said, "Yes." Then Susan asked: "Single click or double click?" ___________________________________________________
Richard Birsdsey photography video
____________________________________________________ You overdid it with your Birthday meal, if your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this. ____________________________________________________ Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What's your excuse?" Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc." Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order." Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me." ____________________________________________________
Learn Italian hand gestures.

Today on March 11
537 The Goths began their siege on Rome. 
1302 The characters Romeo and Juliet were married this day 
 according to William Shakespeare. 
1649 The peace of Rueil was signed between the Frondeurs 
 (rebels) and the French government. 
1665 A new legal code was approved for the Dutch and English 
 towns, guaranteeing religious observances unhindered. 
1810 The Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was married by proxy to 
 Archduchess Marie Louise of Austria. 
1824 The U.S. War Department created the Bureau of Indian Affairs. 
 Seneca Indian Ely Parker became the first Indian to lead the Bureau. 
1845 Seven hundred Maoris led by their chief, Hone-Heke, burned the 
 small town of Kororareka. The act was in protest to the settlement 
 of Maoriland by Europeans, which was a breach of the 1840 Treaty 
 of Waitangi. 
1865 Union General William Sherman and his forces occupied 
 Fayetteville, NC. 
1867 In Hawaii, the volcano Great Mauna Loa erupted. 
1888 The "Blizzard of '88" began along the U.S. Atlantic Seaboard 
 shutting down communication and transportation lines. More than 
 400 people died.(March 11-14) 
1900 British Prime Minister Lord Salisbury rejected the peace 
 overtures offered from the Boer leader Paul Kruger. 
1901 Britain rejected an amended treaty to the canal agreement 
 with Nicaragua. 
1901 U.S. Steel was formed when industrialist J.P. Morgan 
 purchased Carnegie Steep Corp. The event made Andrew Carnegie 
 the world's richest man. 
1904 After 30 years of drilling, the north tunnel under the 
 Hudson River was holed through. The link was between Jersey 
 City, NJ, and New York, NY. 
1905 The Parisian subway was officially inaugurated. 
1907 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt induced California to 
 revoke its anti-Japanese legislation. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt authorized the 
 Lend-Lease Act, which authorized the act of providing war 
 supplies to the Allies. Without that, Russia and England would 
 have been defeated in a year.
1946 Communists and Nationalists began fighting as the Soviets 
 pulled out of Mukden, Manchuria. 
1946 Pravda denounced Winston Churchill as anti-Soviet and a 
 warmonger. 
1964 U.S. Senator Carl Hayden broke the record for continuous 
 service in the U.S. Senate. He had sat 37 years and seven days. 
1965 The American navy began inspecting Vietnamese junks in an 
 effort to end arms smuggling to the South. 
1969 Levi-Strauss started selling bell-bottomed jeans. 
1978 Bobby Hull (Winnipeg Jets) joined Gordie Howe by getting 
 his 1,000th career goal. 
1986 Popsicle announced its plan to end the traditional twin-stick 
 frozen treat for a one-stick model. 
1988 A cease-fire was declared in the war between Iran and Iraq. 
1990 Lithuania declared its independence from the Soviet Union. It 
 was the first Soviet republic to break away from Communist control. 
1990 In Chile, Patricio Aylwin was sworn in as the first 
 democratically elected president since 1973. 
1992 Former U.S. President Nixon said that the Bush administration 
 was not giving enough economic aid to Russia. 
1993 North Korea withdrew from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty 
 refusing to open sites for inspection. 
1994 In Chile, Eduardo Frei was sworn in as President. It was the 
 first peaceful transfer of power in Chile since 1970. 
1997 An explosion at a nuclear waste reprocessing plant caused 35 
 workers to be exposed to low levels of radioactivity. The incident 
 was the worst in Japan's history. The explosion was not nuclear
 related, except it broke some walls.
2002 Two columns of light were pointed skyward from ground zero in 
 New York as a temporary memorial to the victims of the terrorist 
 attacks of September 11, 2001. 
2016  smiled.


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Previous issues, and Microsoft phone calls 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to NM Brothers arrested for selling dope from Porta-Potty Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 10, in 1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000 civilians were killed. History ______________________________________________________ The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing. --- Henry S. Haskins "He who knows others is wise; He who knows himself is enlightened." --- Lao-Tzu ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy It's an Irish thing ya know see you all of a sudden Fox is cowering down to the president... In response to President Obama's complaint that FOX doesn't show enough Black and Hispanic people on their network, FOX has announced today that they will now air, "America's Most Wanted" twice a week. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in a backwoods eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious. “Hey,” he called out to the waitress, “these things in my soup ­ aren’t they foreign objects?” She is scrutinizing his bowl. “No, sir!” she reassured him. “Those things live around here.” ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andres Plata, 18 and his brother Aaron Gonzales, 22, Albuquerque, New Mexico NM Brothers arrested for selling dope from Porta-Potty Police say an Albuquerque drug dealer, who was doing business out of an adult video store's portable toilet was busted. The Albuquerque Journal reports 22-year-old Aaron Gonzales was arrested in the Pussycat Video store's parking lot on Tuesday and is facing drug-trafficking charges. Andres Plata, his 18 year old brother, who is accused of leading an undercover officer to Gonzales, also was arrested. Court documents show Plata, who said he was Gonzales' brother, took the officer to the porta-potty after he asked him for heroin. The officer ended up buying $10 worth of heroin and $10 worth of methamphetamine as part of the investigation before Gonzales was arrested. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Penny Re: Previous issues, and Microsoft phone calls Dear Webby Would you be so kind as to e-mail me the pics and the story of the dumb girl who made her own license plate? I have some friends who works at BMV and they would love it ! I thought I saved it, but when I went to the file it wasn't all there. Also, I am still getting calls from "Microsoft". I got into a bit of a shouting match with one the other day. I told her I know it BS and to remove my phone number from the call list. She insisted she was from Microsoft. I hung up. I'm getting these calls often on both house phone and cellphone. I just feel bad for the ones who actually DO fall for the BS. Thanks. enjoy your daily smiles Penny Dear Penny Just go to http://webby.com/humor/blog and scoot down to that day. All the old Humor letters are there going back many years. Actually, there are always about 10 years in the blog. Re the Microsoft calls, did you know that they really hate it when you call them Microslop ? They got me blacklisted and don't call me anymore. No sense of HaHa. There is all kinds of silliness you can prank them with. When I see a fake state name instead of a company name or number in the Caller ID, then sometimes I answer with "Black Diamond Psychic Readings. Youuuu have a DIRTY mind and shouuuuud be ashamed of yourself!!!" Click Other times I answer in a low, slow and really evil voice and tell them: "You have done it. Now I am going to (in a voice that they expect me to say I was going to rip their head off and stuff it up their ass) tell Santa about you!" Click Remember, it's all for YOUR fun. Sometimes I tell them to hold a moment and put the phone down in front of the speaker and let them listen to http://AccuRadio.com, and my typing in the background. Eventually they all give up. There are lots of free text-to-speech programs available. There is one even built into Windows. Get some junior teens to write you a list of all the cusswords that they have ever heard. Then pick a voice like ROBOT, or John Wayne or whoever strikes your fancy, to read that list. You can tweak it faster, slower, higher, lower, etc. When you got it sounding the most intimidating, record it with Audacity, or any audio recorder, into an MP4 file, that you can save onto the desktop. Hit that icon and have your ROBOT or John Wayne cuss at them at length. Don't get an ulcer! Get even ;-) Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Roy was going to bed the other night when Carla told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window. As Roy looked for hiself, he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. He phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. Roy made sure they had the correct address, then said OK, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people burglaring my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because my neighbor shot them all. Now HE is in that shed! He probably has his cocaine stash in there." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that your neighbor shot them!" Roy replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Plastic Bags Using Football Fold By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] Did you ever make paper napkin footballs when you were a kid? Well that childhood activity has a fabulous adulthood use too. Folding your plastic grocery bags using the football fold will reduce the space you need to store them. Plus it also makes them small enough to have a few on hand in your purse or diaper bag. Supplies: plastic shopping bags Steps: Lay the shopping bag flat and smooth it out. Fold the bag in half, lengthwise. Fold the bag in half again. Smooth it out. Start at the bottom of the bag, fold the lower left corner over towards the right side, creating a triangle shape. NOTE: By starting at the bottom of the bag, you will push out any air that is in the bag. Now fold the triangle upward, staying on the right side. Next fold the triangle over to the left side. Repeat until you reach the handle end of the bag. Tuck the handle end into the little pocket that was created. tuck ends infinished football I previously knotted our plastic bags, as you can see the football fold makes them much smaller! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ This one is a classic, that keeps coming back: A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The materials we put into our stomachs are enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, causes the most misery and yet all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake?" ___________________________________________________
Marsha Brody, You Bet Your Life You have to listen very carefully :D
____________________________________________________ At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Paddy," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did, sir." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny old world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slap- ped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother, he is such a fookin klutz, he couldn't lay one straight brick to save his life!" ____________________________________________________ There was this Chinese businessman visiting a newly acquired business in the United States. As a gesture of good will, the executives of his newly acquired business took him to a golf course for a round of golf. He had never played the game before. Upon his return to China, his family asked what he had done in the United States. He replied, "Played most interesting game. Hit little white ball with long stick in large cow pasture. Name of game is "Oh @#$%." ____________________________________________________
Learn Italian hand gestures.

Today on March 10
0241 BC The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the Battle of Aegusa.
0049 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and invaded Italy. 
1496 Christopher Columbus concluded his second visit to the Western 
 Hemisphere when he left Hispaniola for Spain. 
1629 England's King Charles I dissolved Parliament and did not call it 
 back for 11 years. 
1656 In the American colony of Virginia, suffrage was extended to all free 
 men regardless of their religion. 
1792 John Stone patented the pile driver. 
1804 The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana Purchase from France 
 to the U.S. took place in St. Louis. 
1806 The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the British. 
1814 In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a combined Allied Army 
 at the battle of Laon.
1848 The U.S. Senate ratified the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which ended 
 the war with Mexico. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call with the 
 telephone. He spoke the words 
 "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." 
1880 The Salvation Army arrived in the U.S. from England. 
1893 New Mexico State University canceled its first graduation ceremony 
 because the only graduate was robbed and killed the night before. 
1902 The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory over the British, 
 when they captured British General Methuen and 200 men. 
1902 Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an earthquake. 
1903 Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating machine. 
1906 In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion at Courrieres. 
1909 Britain extracted territorial concessions from Siam and Malaya. 
1910 Slavery was abolished in China. 
1912 China became a republic after the overthrow of the 
 Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty. 
1924 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law forbidding 
 late-night work for women. 
1927 Prussia lifted its Nazi ban allowing Adolf Hitler to speak 
 in public. 
1933 Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs. 
1941 The Brooklyn Dodgers announced that their players would begin 
 wearing batting helmets during the 1941 season. 
1941 Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain allowed 
 food to reach France. 
1944 The Irish refused to oust all Axis envoys and denied the 
 accusation of spying on Allied troops.
1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 
 100,000 civilians were killed. 
1947 The Big Four met in Moscow to discuss the future of Germany. 
1949 Nazi wartime broadcaster Mildred E. Gillars, also known as 
 "Axis Sally," was convicted in Washington, DC. of treason and 
 served 12 years in prison. 
1953 North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS Missouri. 
 The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the enemy position. 
1966 The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at 
 Ashau Valley. 
1966 France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest 
 U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its 
 headquarters from Paris. 
1971 The U.S. Senate approved an amendment to lower the voting age 
 to 18. 
1975 The North Vietnamese Army attacked the South Vietnamese town of 
 Ban Me Thout. 
1980 Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to the 
 militants holding American hostages in Tehran. 
1982 The U.S. banned Libyan oil imports due to their continued 
 support of terrorism. 
1987 The Vatican condemned surrogate parenting as well as test-tube 
 and artificial insemination. 
1990 Haitian President Prosper Avril was ousted 18 months after 
 seizing power in a coup. 
1991 "Phase Echo" began. It was the operation to withdraw 540,000 U.S. 
 troops from the Persian Gulf region. 
1994 White House officials began testifying before a federal grand jury 
 about the Whitewater controversy. 
1998 U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf began receiving the first 
 vaccinations against anthrax. 
2002 The Associated Press reported that the Pentagon informed the U.S. 
 Congress in January that it was making contingency plans for the possible 
 use of nuclear weapons against countries that threaten the U.S. with 
 weapons of mass destruction, including Iraq and North Korea. 
2003 North Korea test-fired a short-range missile. The event was one of 
 several in a pattern of unusual military maneuvers.
2016  smiled.


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Fake PayPal email 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 9

Thank you Andrew !!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Illinois woman, who was arrested for driving with tree as hood ornament Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 9, in 1454 - Amerigo Vespucci was born in Florence, Italy. Matthias Ringmann, a German mapmaker, named the American continent in his honor. History ______________________________________________________ Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. --- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!" "That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!" "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppydog!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire crew stood at attention. "I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship." "Yes, of course," was the captain's unexpected reply. "Aha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of the third man from the left there in the rear rank?" "William Jones," said the captain. The Secretary addressed the seaman himself. "What's your name, lad?" he asked. "William Jones, sir," replied Seaman Dale Abernathy, "but you can call me Bubba." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Maryann Christy, 54, Roselle, Illinois Woman arrested for driving with tree as hood ornament The Illinois woman, 54, is facing a drunk driving charge after allegedly plowing her car into a tree and then continuing to drive with the 15-foot accessory embedded in the vehicle's grille. Christy was nabbed in late-January after a Roselle Police Department officer spotted her driving with the tree as a hood ornament. Investigators estimated that Christy drove several miles before getting pulled over. Christy, who was navigating with the 2004 Lincoln’s air bags deployed, told the cop that she recalled hitting a tree, but could not remember where the 11 PM collision occurred. Christy, who was arrested a few miles from her home in Schaumburg, works as a marketing consultant, according to her LinkedIn profile. After Christy failed a series of field sobriety tests, she was arrested for drunk driving. She is next due in court in April on the misdemeanor charge. As seen above, police responding to the arrest scene made sure to photograph Christy’s vehicle. In addition to the DUI rap, Christy has also been cited for driving with an “obstructed window,” according to court records. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Fake PayPal mail Dear Webby Since you are the expert in many fields, I need to know is this e mail is legit or not. I think not as they would have addressed me by name. I have not used PayPal in many many years so I think it's phishing. If this account number might be real, delete it out of the post. Thanks and hope you are well. Wendy PayPal Dear Client, We emailed you a little while ago to ask for your help resolving an issue with your PayPal account. Your account is still temporarily limited because we haven't heard from you. We understand it may be frustrating to haven't full access to your PayPal account. You must verify your account as quickly as possible. What's the problem? We noticed some unusual activities on your PayPal account. Case ID Number: PP-084-206-403-905 VERIFY NOW Dear Wendy That is a phony as a $3 bill or as Broom Hilda'a election promises. Don't click, just dump, and then dump the recycle bin. That "VERIFY NOW" link calls a virus and trojan into your machine. Yes, PayPal uses your name, and they ALWAYS tell you to log on, and do stuff securely on their site. They NEVER tell you to click on anything in an email. AND, PayPal does not use Nigerian grammar like "frustrating to haven't full access" DUH! Just dump it! You could forward it to spoof@paypal.com But most likely a few thousand people have already reported that. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Patrick in Dublin see's a job advertised on a building site: 'Handy man wanted...apply within'. So he does and speaks to the foreman. Foreman: "Can you drive a fork-lift truck?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "Can you plaster?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "Can you lay brick?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "If you don't mind me asking, what's handy about you?" Patrick: "I live next door to the pub across the street." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Blackberry Sauce By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] We are lucky to have blackberries growing everywhere around us. I recently picked 20 lbs. of them and decided to make this simple blackberry sauce to put on ice cream! sauce on ice cream Ingredients: blackberries, rinsed and dried 1-2 Tbsp corn starch 1/4 cup sugar Steps: Rinse and dry the blackberries. Remove any mushy ones. drying blackberries Put the blackberries into a large sauce pan, over MED heat. Stir in corn starch, mixing well. Heat the blackberries, stirring frequently. As they cook down, the sauce will begin to thicken. Cook until desired consistency. Add sugar, to taste. Allow to cool, then use as a topping on ice cream or anything that sounds good! Blackberries and raspberries turn into a very delightful topping if you simply fill a small Glad or Tupperware container and freeze them till winter. When you are ready, thaw them out. They will shrink and soften a bit, and there will be juice at the bottom. Kids may want some sugar a dded, but most adults will like them as they are, just a tiny bit more tart than straight off the bushes. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. after inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead, right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead!" ___________________________________________________
Weird Al Yankovich - Bob - Palindromes
____________________________________________________ >From Noella Weird Al Yankovich's Palindromes I, man, am regal - a German am I Never odd or even If I had a hi-fi Madam, I'm Adam Too hot to hoot No lemons, no melon Too bad I hid a boot Lisa Bonet ate no basil Warsaw was raw Was it a car or a cat I saw? Rise to vote, sir Do geese see god? "Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod Rats live on no evil star Won't lovers revolt now? Race fast, safe car Pa's a sap Ma is as selfless as I am May a moody baby doom a yam? Ah, Satan sees Natasha No devil lived on Lonely Tylenol Not a banana baton No "x" in "Nixon" O, stone, be not so O Geronimo, no minor ego "Naomi," I moan "A Toyota's a Toyota" A dog, a panic in a pagoda [ Oh no! Don Ho! Nurse, I spy gypsies - run! Senile felines Now I see bees I won UFO tofu We panic in a pew Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog! Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog ____________________________________________________ The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't know what you're doing, someone else always does. ____________________________________________________
This Animal Lover Takes the Best Selfies Ever

Today on March 9
1454 - Amerigo Vespucci was born in Florence, Italy. 
 Matthias Ringmann, a German mapmaker, named the 
 American continent in his honor. 
1617 - The Treaty of Stolbovo ended the occupation of 
 Northern Russia by Swedish troops. 
1734 - The Russians took Danzig (Gdansk) in Poland. 
1745 - The first carillon was shipped from England 
 to Boston, MA. 
1793 - Jean Pierre Blanchard made the first balloon 
 flight in North America. The event was witnessed by 
 U.S. President George Washington. 
1796 - Napoleon Bonaparte and Josephine de Beauharnais 
 were married. They were divorced in 1809. 
1799 - The U.S. Congress contracted with Simeon North, 
 of Berlin, CT, for 500 horse pistols at the price of 
 $6.50 each. 
1812 - Swedish Pomerania was seized by Napoleon. 
1820 - The U.S. Congress passed the Land Act that paved 
 the way for westward expansion of North America. 
1822 - Charles M. Graham received the first patent for 
 artificial teeth. 
1839 - The French Academy of Science announced the 
 Daguerreotype photo process. 
1858 - Albert Potts was awarded a patent for the letter box. 
1862 - During the U.S. Civil War, the ironclads Monitor 
 and Virginia fought to a draw in a five-hour battle at 
 Hampton Roads, Virginia. 
1897 - A patent was issued to William Spinks and William 
 Hoskins for cue chalk. 
1900 - In Germany, women petition Reichstag for the right 
 to take university entrance exams. 
1905 - In Egypt, U.S. archeologist Davies discovered the 
 royal tombs of Tua and Yua. 
1905 - In Manchuria, Japanese troops surrounded 200,000 
 Russian troops that were retreating from Mudken. 
1905 - In Congo, Belgian Vice Gov. Costermans committed 
 suicide following an investigation of colonial policy. 
1906 - In the Philippines, fifteen Americans and 600 Moros 
 were killed in the last two days of fighting. 
1909 - The French National Assembly passed an income tax bill. 
1910 - Union men urged for a national sympathy strike for 
 miners in Pennsylvania. 
1911 - The funding for five new battleships was added to the 
 British military defense budget. 
1916 - Mexican raiders led by Pancho Villa attacked Columbus, 
 New Mexico. 17 people were killed by the 1,500 horsemen. 
1932 - Eamon De Valera was elected president of the Irish Free 
 State and pledged to abolish all loyalty to the British Crown. 
1936 - The German press warned that all Jews who vote in the 
 upcoming elections would be arrested. 
1945 - During World War II, U.S. B-29 bombers launched 
 incendiary bomb attacks against Japan. 
1946 - The A.F.L. accused Juan Peron of using the army to 
 establish a dictatorship over Argentine labor. 
1949 - The first all-electric dining car was placed in 
 service on the Illinois Central Railroad. 
1956 - British authorities arrested and deported Archbishop 
 Makarios from Cyprus. He was accused of supporting terrorists. 
1957 - Egyptian leader Nasser barred U.N. plans to share the 
 tolls for the use of the Suez Canal. 
1959 - Mattel introduced Barbie at the annual Toy Fair 
 in New York. 
1964 - Production began on the first Ford Mustang. 
1965 - The first U.S. combat troops arrived in South Vietnam. 
1967 - Svetlana Alliluyeva, Josef Stalin's daughter defected 
 to the United States. 
1969 - "The Smothers Brothers' Comedy Hour" was canceled 
 by CBS-TV. 
1975 - Work began on the Alaskan oil pipeline. 
1975 - Iraq launched an offensive against the rebel Kurds. 
1977 - About a dozen armed Hanafi Muslims invaded three 
 buildings in Washington, DC. They killed one person and 
 took more than 130 hostages. The siege ended two days later. 
1983 - The official Soviet news agency TASS says that U.S. 
 President Reagan is full of "bellicose lunatic anti-communism." 
1985 - "Gone With The Wind" went on sale in video stores across 
 the U.S. for the first time. 
1986 - U.S. Navy divers found the crew compartment of the space 
 shuttle Challenger along with the remains of the astronauts. 
1987 - Chrysler Corporation offered to buy American Motors 
 Corporation. 
1989 - In Maylasia, 30 Asian nations conferred on the issue 
 of "boat people." 
1989 - In the U.S., a strike forced Eastern Airlines into 
 bankruptcy. 
1989 - In the U.S., President George H.W. Bush urged for a 
 mandatory death penalty in drug-related killings. 
1990 - Dr. Antonia Novello was sworn in as the first female 
 and Hispanic surgeon general. 
1993 - Rodney King testified at the federal trial of four 
 Los Angeles police officers accused of violating his civil rights.
1995 - The Canadian Navy arrested a Spanish trawler for illegally 
 fishing off of Newfoundland. 
2000 - In Norway, the coalition government of Kjell Magne Bondevik 
 resigned as a result of an environmental dispute. 
2016  smiled.


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Reimageplus infection 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 8

Thank you Sig !!
Thank you, Donna!!   

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texan, who played with a gun and his kids and accidentally shot his daughter into the chest. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 8, in 1618 Johann Kepler discovered the third Law of Planetary Motion. History ______________________________________________________ Anything too stupid to be said is sung. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise. The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream. As they continued home, my sister blurted out, "Isn't it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this much money?" Just then, she went to toss the last of her ice cream cone out the window. However, the window was closed, and it smacked against the glass. Her husband replied calmly, "Yes, it is." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justin Ryan Jones, 30, Austin, Texas Father pretended to shoot daughter, gun went off. The 7-year-old son of an Austin man said his father was pretending to fire at his sister when the gun went off and he shot the 9-year-old girl, according to an arrest affidavit. Justin Ryan Jones, 30, is charged with injury to a child, a first-degree felony, and remained in the Bell County Jail Monday in lieu of a $25,000 bond, jail records showed. Jones allegedly told a Bell County Sheriff’s Department deputy he was showing his children gun safety when the gun he was holding fired and shot his 9-year-old daughter. But Jones’ son said his father was pretending to shoot them. The 7-year-old said he liked the clicking sound the gun made. He said his father pulled the trigger and “his sister was shot,” the affidavit said. Jones’ 6-year-old son said his father was pointing the gun at his sister and held it in both hands while pretending the shoot them. The girl was shot in the upper chest area and was initially in critical condition when transported to Baylor Scott and White Memorial Hospital. The injuries she had led to several surgeries, but she was recently released from the hospital and is expected to fully recover, Lt. T.J. Cruz, Bell County spokesman, said Friday. Jones was allowed to go to the hospital with his daughter after the shooting because he was so upset after the incident, Cruz said. The father was watching his children in their grandparent’s home in the 5200 block of Indian Springs Road when the shooting happened. The children live with their grandparents, Cruz said. Children’s Protective Services is investigating the case and is involved with the family, Julie Moody, spokeswoman for the Texas Department of Family & Protective Services, said Monday. CPS has not removed the children, Moody said. Jones was arrested Friday afternoon after authorities received a tip he was in a parking lot near Michaels, 3550 General Bruce Drive in Temple. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna Re: Reimageplus infection Dear Webby I've run across this as has a neighbor...when accessing a perfectly "safe" website (as if there is such a thing) such as Kohls, or my local news channel, occasionally a red screen will pop up that says "you appear to have pop ups enabled" and it wants me to call a number to have Windows 10 "repaired". Of course I realize this is a scam and just close out of it....I HAVE Adblock running, I just wondered if you've heard of this before and have any idea what it is. My neighbor came running to me because he (stupidly) called the number and gave them access to his computer so gave him some advice about getting a virus program and running in safe mode, but I'm "fairly" sure I'm ok in that regard. Any thoughts? Donna Dear Donna If the neighbor gave them access to his computer, he might as well format it. He might be able to save some data, but it will be very risky. BBQ on high will be the safest. In your case, you can easily save your machine. You just have a malware infection. Reimageplus is a known malware infection. Get MalwareBytes from http://webby.com/malwarebytes and let it clean your machine. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby YOU DA MAN, WEBBY! I downloaded the free version of Malwarebytes (good enough?) and found 37 baddies. Donna _____________________________________________________ There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby. The preacher went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Having children is an act of God!" Silence fell on the congregation. In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Snow and rain are also acts of God, but when we get too much, we wear rubbers." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Blackberry Sauce By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] We are lucky to have blackberries growing everywhere around us. I recently picked 20 lbs. of them and decided to make this simple blackberry sauce to put on ice cream! sauce on ice cream Ingredients: blackberries, rinsed and dried 1-2 Tbsp corn starch 1/4 cup sugar Steps: Rinse and dry the blackberries. Remove any mushy ones. drying blackberries Put the blackberries into a large sauce pan, over MED heat. Stir in corn starch, mixing well. Heat the blackberries, stirring frequently. As they cook down, the sauce will begin to thicken. Cook until desired consistency. Add sugar, to taste. Allow to cool, then use as a topping on ice cream or anything that sounds good! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ First golfer, Bill: "What was your score?" Bob: "Seventy-two." Bill: "That's not too bad at all!" Bob: "Thanks! I hope I'll do better on the second hole." ___________________________________________________
Robin Williams on accents
____________________________________________________ During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?" "Yes, was the reply, "I sure did! I once cured a millionaire before he was broke!" ____________________________________________________ Did you know that..... Football was actually invented by a group of women, ...as a way to keep their husbands out of the kitchen on Thanksgiving! ____________________________________________________
The floating in air bonsai trees are so calming to watch.

Today on March 8
1618 Johann Kepler discovered the third Law of Planetary Motion. 
1702 England's Queen Anne took the throne upon the death of 
 cKing William III. 
1782 The Gnadenhutten massacre took place. About 90 Indians 
 were killed by militiamen in Ohio in retaliation for raids 
 carried out by other Indians. 
1855 A train passed over the first railway suspension bridge 
 at Niagara Falls, NY. 
1862 The Confederate ironclad "Merrimack" was launched. 
1880 U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes declared that the 
 United States would have jurisdiction over any canal built 
 across the isthmus of Panama. 
1887 The telescopic fishing rod was patented by Everett Horton. 
1894 A dog license law was enacted in the state of New York. 
 It was the first animal control law in the U.S. 
1904 The Bundestag in Germany lifted the ban on the Jesuit 
 order of priests. 
1905 In Russia, it was reported that the peasant revolt was 
 spreading to Georgia. 
1907 The British House of Commons turned down a women's 
 suffrage bill. 
1909 Pope Pius X lifted the church ban on interfaith marriages 
 in Hungary. 
1910 In France, Baroness de Laroche became the first woman to 
 obtain a pilot's license. 
1910 The King of Spain authorized women to attend universities. 
1911 In Europe, International Women's Day was celebrated for 
 the first time. 
1911 British Minister of Foreign Affairs Edward Gray declared 
 that Britain would not support France in the event of a 
 military conflict. 
1917 Russia's "February Revolution" began with rioting and 
 strikes in St. Petersburg.
1917 The U.S. Senate voted to limit filibusters by adopting 
 the cloture rule. 
1921 Spanish Premier Eduardo Dato was assassinated while 
 leaving the Parliament in Madrid. 
1921 French troops occupied Dusseldorf, Germany. 
1933 Self-liquidating scrip money was issued for the first 
 time at Franklin, IN. 
1941 Martial law was proclaimed in Holland in order to 
 extinguish any anti-Nazi protests. 
1942 During World War II, Japanese forces captured Rangoon, 
 Burma. 
1943 Japanese forces attacked American troops on Hill 700 in 
 Bougainville. The battle lasted five days. 
1945 Phyllis Mae Daley received a commission in the U.S. Navy 
 Nurse Corps. She later became the first African-American nurse 
 to serve duty in World War II. 
1946 In New York City, the "Journal American" became the first 
 commercial business to receive a helicopter license. 
1946 The French naval fleet arrived at Haiphong, Vietnam. 
1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that religious instruction in 
 public schools was unconstitutional. 
1953 A census bureau report indicated that 239,000 farmers had 
 quit farming over the last 2 years. 
1954 France and Vietnam opened talks in Paris on a treaty to form 
 the state of Indochina. 
1959 Groucho, Chico and Harpo made their final TV appearance together. 
1965 The U.S. landed about 3,500 Marines in South Vietnam. They 
 were the first U.S. combat troops to land in Vietnam. 
1966 Australia announced that it would triple the number of troops 
 in Vietnam. 
1973 Two bombs exploded near Trafalgar Square in Great Britain. 
 234 people were injured. 
1982 The U.S. accused the Soviets of killing 3,000 Afghans with 
 poison gas. 
1985 The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) reported that 407,700 
 Americans were millionaires. That was more than double the total 
 from just five years before. 
1988 In Fort Campbell, KY, 17 U.S. soldiers were killed when two 
 Army helicopters collided in midair. 
1989 In Lhasa, Tibet, martial law was declared after three days of 
 protest against Chinese rule. 
1999 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the conviction of Timothy McVeigh 
 for the bombing of a federal building in Oklahoma City in 1995. 
1999 The White House, under President Bill Clinton, directed the 
 firing of nuclear scientist Wen Ho Lee from his job at the Los Alamos 
 National Laboratory. The firing was a result of alleged security 
 violations. 
2001 The U.S. House of Representatives voted for an across-the-board 
 tax cut of nearly $1 trillion over the next decade. 
2005 In norther Chechnya, Chechen rebel leader Aslan Maskhadov was 
killed during a raid by Russian forces.
2016  smiled.


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MS Works on W10 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 7
   
Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida Brother and sister arrested in Girl Scout cookie seller robbery Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 7, in 1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. History ______________________________________________________ If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. --- Mel Brooks (1926 - ) I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. --- Mahatma Gandhi (1869 - 1948) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Political correctness gone mad," award goes to the Neil Adams Fitness Center in Coventry in the UK for banning exercising vests at the gym because seeing large biceps on some people might hurt the feelings of more puny folks. Two-cup Superbounce bra enhancers will continue to be allowed though, as long as the garment worn over them is long sleeved and closed at the neck so as to protect other exercisers should they become dislodged. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if Bubba had any whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Delbrugge, 20 and his sister, Ashley Winters, 25, Deltona, Floriduh Brother and sister arrested in Girl Scout money theft Two people accused of stealing money from a Girl Scout who was selling cookies outside a local Walmart have been arrested. Nicholas Delbrugge, 20, and his sister, Ashley Winters, 25, were arrested Wednesday when they arrived in Deltona following a trip to North Carolina, the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office said. Deputies said Delbrugge grabbed a 12-year-old Girl Scout’s cash box while she was selling cookies in front of a Deltona Walmart on Sunday. Authorities keyed in on the suspects when a New Smyrna Beach police officer watched surveillance video of the theft and recognized Delbrugge from a prior incident, deputies said. Investigators used Facebook to track the pair to a Volusia County address, where a man confirmed the people in the surveillance photos were his grandchildren, but he said they were in North Carolina. Delbrugge and Winters were arrested when they returned to Florida Wednesday and the victim identified Delbrugge in a photo lineup a short time later. Two carreer crooks agains one 12 year old girl scout! And she didn't even have to tie them up. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Microsoft Works 2006 work on W10? Dear Webby From a little digging, it looks like later versions of Works work better on Windows 10 than earlier versions: Microsoft Answers... Some of that thread is pretty funny, especially the first few responses. This person asks in a Microsoft sponsored forum about one Microsoft product running on another Microsoft product, and the first answer is essentially “I dunno, contact the software developer.” Even when someone was able to get it to install, they reported spurious error messages, lockups, or lost data. So I’m not sure I would trust it with anything important. If you can convince the reader to switch to Libre Office, here is a good tip: Convert to docx Aloha, -mkr Dear Mike Thank you for your valuable information! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ There's a new jewelry store in Hollywood whose business has suddenly leaped ahead of all the competition. It rents out wedding rings. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Blackeyed Pea Croquettes By R Barbara [145 Posts, 48 Comments] Approximate Time: 1 hour prep and cooking time Yield: 12 Ingredients: 2 cups, cooked blackeyed peas, one can 1/2 cup finely chopped onion 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh pepper, such as Anaheim (you could use a hotter pepper to suit your tastes) 1/4 cup yellow corn meal mix, we used Jiffy 1/4 cup all purpose flour 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper 1/8 to 1/4 tsp Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning, our own addition and a nod to my father's love of spicy food 1 egg 1/2 cup buttermilk oil for frying, about 1/4 cup, we used canola Steps: We used canned peas so we rinsed them with cold water and patted off the excess moisture before placing in a mixing bowl. Mash some of the peas (about 1/3 to 1/2) with the back of a mixing spoon. Slice pepper lengthwise, remove pith and seeds, then chop. Chop onion. Add onion, pepper, corn meal mix, flour, salt, pepper, and Tony's to the peas in your mixing bowl. In a small bowl, whisk egg with the buttermilk until well blended. Stir egg mixture into pea mixture and mix well. Set aside and allow to rest for approximately 10 minutes. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a heavy skillet over medium heat. The recipe called for medium to high heat, but on our stovetop we went with medium as higher heat caused the croquettes to brown too quickly without cooking thoroughly. When the oil is hot, drop the batter into the skillet in heaping tablespoonfuls about 1 inch apart. Fry for about 1 to 2 minutes on each side until a rich golden brown. Continue with remaining batter. Transfer to paper towel lined plate or cookie sheet. Keep croquettes warm in a 200 degree F oven until all are cooked. Serve warm. Source: www.oatmealgourmet.com ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two teens, ages fourteen and sixteen, were turned down by the marriage license clerk. Then they asked, "Could you give us a learners' permit?" ___________________________________________________
angry yoga teacher
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter from http://stonecarver.com for this one: Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student. "Sadness," he answered. The opposite of depression?" he asked another student. "Elation," he replied. Then the professor asked a young woman from Texas:"The opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddyup." ____________________________________________________ Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children LIKED to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "And their dad is carrying that long rifle to make sure they LIKED to go along peacefully?" ____________________________________________________
Now I'm going to have to try this out.

Today on March 7
0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 
1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce. 
1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men massacred 
 more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. 
1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed. 
1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved. 
1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing machine. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent for his telephone. 
1901 It was announced that blacks had been found enslaved in 
 parts of South Carolina. 
1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok. 
1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot a 
 black man accused of murder. 
1906 Finland granted women the right to vote. 
1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before the 
 city council that, "Women are not physically fit to operate 
 automobiles." 
1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker. 
1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S. sent 
 20,000 troops to the border of Mexico. 
1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany. 
1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia. 
1927 A Texas law that banned Negroes from voting was ruled 
 unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 
1933 The board game Monopoly was invented. 
1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph 
 in Florida. 
1936 Hitler sent German troops into the German Rhineland in 
 violation of the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles. 
1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea. 
1945 During World War II, U.S. forces crossed the Rhine River 
 at Remagen, Germany. 
1947 John L. Lewis declared that only a totalitarian regime 
 could prevent strikes. 
1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway 
 launched Operation Ripper against the Chinese. 
1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey 
 competition. Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world 
 ice-hockey title in Stockholm, Sweden. 
1955 "Peter Pan" was presented as a television special 
 for the first time. 
1959 Melvin C. Garlow became the first pilot to fly over a 
 million miles in jet airplanes. 
1965 State troopers and a sheriff's posse broke up a march by 
 civil rights demonstrators in Selma, AL. 
1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end. 
1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. 
1975 The U.S. Senate revised the filibuster rule. The new rule 
 allowed 60 senators to limit debate instead of the previous 
 two-thirds. 
1981 Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed the kidnapped 
 American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman. The guerrillas 
 accused Bitterman of being a CIA agent. 
1985 The first AIDS antibody test, an ELISA-type test, was released. 
1987 Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight titleholder when he 
 beat James Smith in a decision during a 12-round fight in Las 
 Vegas, NV.
1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II massacre 
 in Katyn. Russia had blamed the Germans for that.
1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke fun at 
 an original work can be considered "fair use" that does not 
 require permission from the copyright holder. 
1999 In El Salvador, Francisco Flores Pérez of the ruling 
 Nationalist Republican Alliance (Arena) was elected president. 
2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than $88 million 
 in damages. The ruling was the latest in a legal battle over the 
 estate of Smith's late husband, J. Howard Marshall II. 
2003 Scientists at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center announced 
 that they had transferred 6.7 gigabytes of uncompressed data from 
 Sunnvale, CA, to Amsterdam, Netherlands, in 58 seconds. The data 
 was sent via fiber-optic cables and traveled 6,800 miles. 
2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching for 
 extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched from Cape 
 Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. 
2012 The successor to Apple's iPad2 was unveiled. 
2016  smiled.


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Will Microsoft Works 2006 work on W10? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, March 6

   
Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a New York woman faces felony charge for driving with homemade license plate Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 6, in 1836 The thirteen-day siege of the Alamo by Santa Anna and his army ended. The Mexican army of three thousand men defeated the 189 Texas volunteers. History ______________________________________________________ Every hero becomes a bore at last. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Pythagorean theorem : 24 Words The Lord's Prayer : 66 Words Archimedes' Principle : 67 Words The 10 Commandments : 179 Words The Gettysburg Address : 286 Words The Declaration of Independence : 1,300 Words The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 Words ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
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with this coupon link Get One Free
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______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Rose for this one: BAKED STUFFED TURKEY 16- 25 lb. turkey 2 C melted butter 2 C stuffing 2 C uncooked popcorn salt/pepper to taste Carefully search the cavity of the turkey for two plastic baggies. One contains some incomprehensible gibberish printed on paper, probably instructions. Discard that. Baked and plasticised instructions taste awful. The other contains gizzards or giblets or whatchamacallits, some mysterious inner organs of the turkey. Give those to your dog or cat. If the dog or cat dies by the time the turkey is cooked, don't eat the turkey. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with popcorn. Sew it up securely with butcher twine. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for popping sounds. When the turkey's butt blows the oven door open, and the turkey flies across the room, it's done, by golly. Microwave the stuffing and sprinkle it with turkey soup to make it easier to stuff it through a large oil-change funnel into the turkey. And you thought I couldn't cook. ______________________________________________________ Lower Yellowstone Falls From FB ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Schweickert, 28, Sardinia, Nedw York New York woman faces felony charge for driving with homemade license plate A Sardinia, NY., woman is facing several charges after Erie County Sheriff's deputies discovered her hand crafted license plate during a traffic stop. A deputy pulled over Amanda Schweickert, 28, in the western New York town of Springville Wednesday morning after the officer noticed that Schweickert's license plate just didn't look right. According to the Erie County Sherif's Office, Schweickert's license plate had been fashioned from cardboard and then painted to look like a legit plate. Schwieckert was also driving a car with a suspended registration and without insurance. The 28-year-old has been charged with a felony count of possessing a forged instrument, a misdemeanor count of operating a vehicle with a suspended registration and three vehicle and traffic infractions. Schweickert being held at the Erie County Holding Center in lieu of $400 bail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Will Microsoft Works 2006 work on W10? Dear Webby I have finally purchased a laptop and want to know if I can install Microsoft Works Suite 2006 on it with it running Windows 10 I've done some research but can't seem to find anyplace that will tell me yes or no. Thanks again, you're always such a fantastic help. Cheers, Wendy Dear Wendy Underneath the awkward user interface and more demanding rigmarole, it's still the same old Windows. Works has been replaced with Microsoft Office, but I have a hunch that it still works on W10. Install it and find out! It is not going to break anything. Microsoft claims that W10 is compatible with older Microsoft software and the reason it is so big and clumsy is because of making it compatible with old Microsoft software. However, they also make a Converter available at https://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/download/details.aspx?id=12 Install it, and see if you need that converter. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he said," are there any questions?" One girl stood up timidly. "What are you going to do to the teacher out in the hallway ?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Better Boxed Macaroni and Cheese By melissa [280 Posts, 423 Comments] Add a few extra ingredients to boxed macaroni, and end up with something a million times tastier and more substantial. Quick and easy! Approximate Time: 20 minutes? Yield: Around 8-10 servingsBetter Boxed Macaroni and Cheese Ingredients: 5-6 boxes macaroni and cheese 1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, drained 2- 15.25 cans (15.25 oz) corn, drained 2 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese 8 Tbsp butter 1 cup milk salt and pepper to taste Steps: Bring pan of water to a boil. Add macaroni and cook for about 7 minutes or until tender. Drain. Add remaining ingredients, including cheese packets. Better Boxed Macaroni and Cheese Stir over medium/high heat until butter is melted and ingredients are thoroughly combined. Enjoy! Source: My Mom You can, of course, also use No-Name-Brand Macaroni and Cheese packs, or Kirkland, from Costco. "KD" (code word for Kraft Dinner) enthusiasts and pretty well all dorm students, have Millions of "KD" reecipes. True "KD" enthusiasts take the included phony cheese packets and use them to fill sidewalk cracks. After one glance at the ingredients, you will too. Enthusiasts save cheese rinds, pieces left over from making dagwood sandwiches or cheeseburgers, and any cheese left over from anything, in a box and eventually grate it for KD. Buying new cheese for making KD is frowned upon! Most KD enthusiasts believe there should be something of every color included. Those small, colorful sweet peppers, maybe a small hot pepper cut very fine, and of course some sautee'd farmer sausage bits to provide "good" fat, that helps digest the macaroni. If you are in a real hurry, you can add a handful of crumbled bacon bits, and for color top it with fine cut chives or green onion or parsley. You DO need colors, not just Kraft style starch and glue! Always make sure you got all or at least SOME colors. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Plymouth: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. Triumph: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda: because the apostles were all in one Accord. ___________________________________________________
You Raise Me up
____________________________________________________ An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!" ____________________________________________________ Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?" ____________________________________________________
Incredible natural phenomena.

Today on March 6
1521 Ferdinand Magellan discovered Guam. 
1808 At Harvard University, the first college orchestra 
 was founded. 
1834 The city of York in Upper Canada was incorporated as 
 Toronto. 
1836 The thirteen-day siege of the Alamo by Santa Anna and 
 his army ended. The Mexican army of three thousand men 
 defeated the 189 Texas volunteers. 
1854 At the Washington Monument, several men stole the Pope's 
 Stone from the lapidarium. 
1857 The U.S. Supreme Court's Dred Scott decision ruled that 
 blacks could not sue in federal court to be citizens. 
1899 Aspirin was patented by German researchers Felix Hoffman 
 and Hermann Dreser. 
1900 In West Virginia, an explosion trapped 50 coal miners 
 underground. 
1901 An assassin tried to kill Wilhelm II of Germany in Bremen. 
1907 British creditors of the Dominican Republic claimed that 
 the U.S. had failed to collect debts. 
1928 A Communist attack on Peking, China resulted in 3,000 dead 
 and 50,000 fled to Swatow. 
1939 In Spain, Jose Miaja took over the Madrid government after 
 a military coup and vowed to seek "peace with honor." 
1944 During World War II, U.S. heavy bombers began the first 
 American raid on Berlin. Allied planes dropped 2000 tons of 
 bombs in one night. 
1946 Ho Chi Minh, the President of Vietnam, struck an agreement 
 with France that recognized his country as an autonomous state 
 within the Indochinese Federation and the French Union. 
1947 Winston Churchill announced that he opposed British troop 
 withdrawals from India. 
1947 The first air-conditioned naval ship, "The Newport News," 
 was launched from Newport News, VA. 
1957 The British African colonies of the Gold Coast and Togoland 
 became the independent state of Ghana. 
1960 Switzerland granted women the right to vote in municipal 
 elections. 
1960 The United States announced that it would send 3,500 troops 
 to Vietnam. 
1967 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announced his plan to 
 establish a draft lottery. 
1970 Charles Manson released his album "Lies" to finance his 
 defense against murder charges. 
1973 U.S. President Richard Nixon imposed price controls on 
 oil and gas. 
1975 Iran and Iraq announced that they had settled their 
 border dispute. 
1980 Islamic militants in Tehran said that they would turn 
 over American hostages to the Revolutionary Council. 
1981 Walter Cronkite appeared on his last episode of 
 "CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite." He had been on 
 the job 19 years. 
1981 U.S. President Reagan announced a plan to cut 37,000 
 federal jobs. 
1985 Yul Brynner played his his 4,500th performance in the 
 musical "The King and I." 
1987 The British ferry Herald of Free Enterprise capsized in 
 the Channel off the coast of Belgium. 189 people died. 
1990 In Afghanistan, an attempted coup to remove President 
 Najibullah from office failed. 
1990 The Russian Parliament passed a law that sanctioned the 
 ownership of private property. 
1991 In Paris, five men were jailed for plotting to smuggle 
 Libyan arms to the Irish Republican Army. 
1992 The last episode of "The Cosby Show" aired. The show had 
 been on since September of 1984. 
1997 A gunman stole "Tete de Femme," a million-dollar Picasso 
 portrait, from a London gallery. The painting was recovered 
 a week later. 
1997 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II launched the first official 
 royal Web site. 
2016  smiled.


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Outlook 2003 clash with Gmail 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, March 5

Thank you, Russell!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Washington man, who killed himself while taking gun selfie. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 5, in 1793 Austrian troops defeated the French and recaptured Liege. 1836 Samuel Colt's Patent Arms Manufacturing of Paterson, New Jersey, was chartered by the New Jersey legislature. History ______________________________________________________ When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' --- Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919) "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, --- George Carlin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they said they didn't, He sent them off to get one. They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out they had filled the names in wrong -- with his where hers belonged and vice versa. They rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, a nd got another license. This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they caught the clerk... and after five reissued licenses, the judge was finally satisfied. Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards." Groom: "That's funny - that's just what the clerk called you." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests except for one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way! " answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it!" ______________________________________________________ Johnston Canyon, Banff From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Joel Melom, 43, Concrete, Washington Washington man kills himself while taking gun selfie. According to authorities in Concrete, Washington, a man accidentally shot himself dead while taking selfies. Sources indicate that the victim was 43-year-old US Army veteran Joel B. Melom. The Skagit Valley Herald reported that the man and his girlfriend had been taking pictures of themselves with various weapons when the tragic accident occurred. Chad Clark, Patrol Chief at the Skagit County Sheriff’s Office, told reporters the woman said her boyfriend had loaded and unloaded his weapons several times. The alleged cause for the fatal shooting was a bullet that accidentally remained in the gun before the man pulled the trigger. Police are investigating the death as accidental. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Russ Re: Gmail and Outlook 2003 clash Dear Webby Hi Webby! I've been subscribed to your newsletter for years and years. Love it all..! So many times it's solved a querky problem that has had me stumped. I now have a question that I have not read about in your letter. We recently sold our home and moved to the north woods of Wisconsin into a rental cabin. I no longer have my home network and instead must rely on a hotspot provided by my Verizon smartphone. The only problem I have encountered is that Outlook 2003 (yes, I refuse to pay for an upgrade) no longer can download POP3 mail via Verizon from my gmail account (SMTP works fine). My wife uses Windows Live with POP3 and it goes about it's business as usual. I compared my POP3 settings to hers and essentially they are the same. Grrrrrr... Here's the message only I get: Task 'pop.gmail.com - Receiving' reported error (0x800408FC) : 'The server name you entered can not be found on the network (it might be down temporarily). Please verify that you are online and that the server name is correct'. Instead I've had to implement IMAP which is has created a monster. Instead of actually downloading the mail to my Outlook client, I get to view my GMail account via my Outlook client. If I want to save anything I have to drag the mail item from the IMAP INBOX into my Outlook INBOX. First of all, am I doing something wrong in defining the IMAP settings? Next, I would be willing to switch clients as long as I can retain my saved emails. Much of them are business related, CMA types. That said, can you recommend a course of action? Thanks for being there enduring wind and snow on our behalf. (:-p - Russ Dear Russ No wind or snow today, but Copper, my neighbor's dog, whom I walk every day, tossed me onto my hip and head and elbow, when he suddenly took off after some other dog. Copper weighs 175 pounds and is all muscle. My head surprisingly didn't damage the concrete, but my hip sure is sore. I am shuffling three inches at a time like a centenarian, but I AM moving. My left elbow was luckily still bandaged, but I should have worn hockey style elbow guards. Re your question: I still use Eudora, ever since about 1993. It cooperates quite nicely with Gmail POP. I still use that for test mails, because when Gmail started about ten years ago, there were some initial formatting problems. That got straightened out a long time ago, but I still have gmailtest subscribed. Works fine. With Gmail there seems to be a clash with Outlook 2003. However, I found this page, that should let you get around that. http://www.pop2imap.com/gmail-outlook-2003.php Try that. If it still does not work, let me know, and I will search further. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Signs your preacher is due for a vacation: His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "All right, listen up you heathens..." He falls asleep during his own sermon, or forgets whether he turned a page in his sermon notes and re-does a topic. He uses travel brocures as bookmarks in his big bible. He stocked the baptismal fount with goldfish. And the number one sign your preacher needs a vacation: he forgets his fishing rod by the baptismal fount. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Cauliflower By Lewissan [40 Posts, 234 Comments] I like to have meal ideas ready for any cauliflower I buy because it can only be stored for up to 7 days in your refrigerator. Store it in a plastic bag with a piece of paper towel to absorb some moisture. If you buy cauliflower that is wrapped in tight plastic, transfer it to a loose fitting bag before storing. If you aren't going to use the cauliflower within a week, be sure to freeze it! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Trisha called Delta Airlines and asked, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York"? The agent replied, "Just a minute . . ." "That's pretty good!!" Trisha answered, and hung up. ___________________________________________________
This is way cool for you history/civil war buffs!
____________________________________________________ In search of a midnight snack, a suburbanite could find nothing but a dog biscuit. He bit into it tentatively, liked it, and the next morning asked his wife to put in a large supply. The local grocer observed. "You don't need so many biscuits for a dog as small as yours." "They're for my busband." "These biscuits are strictly for dogs," grumbled the grocer. "They'll kill your husband!" Six months later, the wife admitted her husband was dead. "I told you those biscuits would kill him," the grocer reminded her. "It wasn't the biscuits," said the woman. "He was killed when he was sitting in the driveway licking his nuts and I backed over him." ____________________________________________________ The preacher said: "There's no such thing as a perfect man. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect man, stand up." One man at the very back stood up. The preacher was quite surprised and thrown out of his prepared routine. "Did you really ever know an absolutely perfect man?" he asked again. "I didn't know him personally," replied the man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband." ____________________________________________________
18 of the most awesome inventions which appeared this year

Today on March 5
1623 The first alcohol temperance law in the colonies was 
 enacted in Virginia. 
1624 In the American colony of Virginia, the upper class 
 was exempted from whipping by legislation. 
1766 The first Spanish governor of Louisiana, Antonio de Ulloa, 
 arrived in New Orleans. 
1770 "The Boston Massacre" took place when British troops fired 
 on a crowd in Boston killing five people. Two British troops 
 were later convicted of manslaughter. 
1793 Austrian troops defeated the French and recaptured Liege. 
1836 Samuel Colt's Patent Arms Manufacturing of Paterson, 
 New Jersey, was chartered by the New Jersey legislature. 
1842 A Mexican force of over 500 men under Rafael Vasquez invaded 
 Texas for the first time since the revolution. They briefly 
 occupied San Antonio, but soon headed back to the Rio Grande. 
1845 The U.S. Congress appropriated $30,000 to ship camels to 
 the western U.S. 
1867 An abortive Fenian uprising against English rule took 
 place in Ireland. 
1872 George Westinghouse patented the air brake. 
1900 Two U.S. battleships left for Nicaragua to halt 
 revolutionary disturbances. 
1901 Germany and Britain began negotiations with hopes of 
 creating an alliance. 
1902 In France, the National Congress of Miners decided to 
 call for a general strike for an 8-hour day. 
1907 In St. Petersburg, Russia, the new Duma opened. 40,000 
 demonstrators were dispersed by troops. 
1910 In Philadelphia, PA, 60,000 people left their jobs to 
 show support for striking transit workers. 
1912 The Italians became the first to use dirigibles for 
 military purposes. They used them for reconnaissance flights 
 behind Turkish lines west of Tripoli. 
1918 The Soviets moved the capital of Russia from Petrograd to 
 Moscow. 
1922 "Annie Oakley" (Phoebe Ann Moses) broke all existing records 
 for women's trap shooting. She hit 98 out of 100 targets. 
1923 Old-age pension laws were enacted in the states of Montana 
 and Nevada. 
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered a four-day bank 
 holiday in order to stop large amounts of money from being 
 withdrawn from banks. 
1933 The Nazi Party won 44 percent of the vote in German 
 parliamentary elections. 
1934 In Amarillo, TX, the first Mother's-In-Law Day was 
 celebrated. 
1943 Germany called fifteen- and sixteen-year-olds for military 
 service due to war losses. 
1946 Winston Churchill delivered his "Iron Curtain Speech". 
1946 The U.S. sent protests to the U.S.S.R. on incursions into 
 Manchuria and Iran. 
1953 Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin died. He had been in power 
 for 29 years. 
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court affirmed the ban on segregation 
 in public schools. 
1970 A nuclear non-proliferation treaty went into effect after 
 43 nations ratified it. 
1976 The British pound fell below the equivalent of $2 for the 
 first time in history. 
1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that cities had the right to 
 display the Nativity scene as part of their Christmas display. 
1984 The U.S. accused Iraq of using poison gas. 
1985 Mike Bossy (New York Islanders) became the first National 
 Hockey League player to score 50 goals in eight consecutive 
 seasons. 
1993 Sprinter Ben Johnson was banned from racing for life by 
 the Amateur Athletic Association after testing positive for 
 banned performance-enhancing substances for a second time. 
1998 NASA announced that an orbiting craft had found enough 
 water on the moon to support a human colony and rocket 
 fueling station. 
1998 It was announced that Air Force Lt. Col. Eileen Collins 
 would lead crew of Columbia on a mission to launch a large 
 X-ray telescope. She was the first woman to command a space 
 shuttle mission. 
2016  smiled.


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When the hard drive is too large 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, March 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a CT Woman, wo robed contracted limo driver after birthday celebration. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 4, in 1766 The British Parliament repealed the Stamp Act, which had caused bitter and violent opposition in the U.S. colonies. History ______________________________________________________ When you're through changing, you're through. --- Bruce Barton Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? --- Spike Milligan, from "The Goon Show" ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?" Knowing that he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?" He lifted his head and replied, "I'll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ My friend's preparations for a visit from her children in- cluded a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind her, "My children are in their 20s, and I'm still giving them money. When does it end?" "I'm not sure I'm the one to ask," the man said while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand, "I'm here to deposit a check from my mother." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Melanie Roberts, 50, Willimantic, Connecticut Woman Robs Contracted Limo Driver After Birthday Celebration. A drunk woman upset about the limo charge for her 50th birthday celebration ended up robbing the driver at gunpoint, police said Monday. The driver was not injured, police said, and the woman was arrested. Melanie Roberts of 513 Jackson St. in Willimantic was charged with first-degree robbery, sixth-degree larceny, second-degree threatening, breach of peace and carrying firearm while under the influence. Police set her bail at $100,000, which she posted at Superior Court in Danielson, a court clerk said Monday afternoon. Her next court date was scheduled for March 18. Roberts turned 50 on Feb. 15 and was belatedly celebrating the birthday by traveling to New York City with her friends, C pl. Stanley F. Parizo said. According to Parizo, Roberts was the last person to be dropped off after the trip and began arguing with the driver over the amount she owed. She removed the keys from the limo and ran to her nearby home, where she got a 9mm pistol, he said. She returned minutes later and threatened to "shoot out" the tires of the limousine, Parizo said. She also reached inside the limo and removed the GPS and a clipboard with money — and the signed contract — attached to it. The limo driver called 911 early Monday, just after midnight, and told officers he had been robbed in a parking lot off of Jackson Street. Police detained her in the parking lot and arrested her. "Anytime you mix alcohol, heightened emotions and a firearm ... things can turn sideways," Parizo said. "We were fortunate that no one was injured and that no shots were fired." According to the Secretary's of State's office, Roberts runs a business called Inspiring Independence LLC from her home. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Carla Re: Drive is too big Dear Webby I had not believed you every time you ranted against big hard drives for the main drive and got a machine with a 2 TB drive. Guess who learned the hard way ! Now what ? Carla Dear Carla Download any partitioning software and partition the drive into a bunch of separate "disks". I use a small C: drive for the operating system, D: is reserved for CD/DVD, a larger E: drive for programs a larger F: drive for spreadsheets and docs and HTML, that I create and the rest, the G: drive, for stuff I download. G: is the USB hard drive, H: is the chip reader for camera chips and back-up chips. You can of course arrange that any way you like. Just make a plan beforehand and think about it, maybe even discuss it with friends. If you have a plan, the partitioning is easy. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ >From Ethel I love to give homemade gifts which one of the kids would you like? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Cauliflower By Lewissan [40 Posts, 234 Comments] I like to have meal ideas ready for any cauliflower I buy because it can only be stored for up to 7 days in your refrigerator. Store it in a plastic bag with a piece of paper towel to absorb some moisture. If you buy cauliflower that is wrapped in tight plastic, transfer it to a loose fitting bag before storing. If you aren't going to use the cauliflower within a week, be sure to freeze it! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl died. On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years." His wife looked at him aghast. *MY* Aunt Emma! " She screamed: "I thought she was *YOUR* Aunt Emma!" ___________________________________________________
musical marble machine.
____________________________________________________ When my sister teased her four-year-old daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class, the little girl was quite indignant. "No mommy, I don't," she replied, "because he's only interested in one thing." Shocked, my sister cautiously asked what that might be. "Pokemon cards, of course," said the toddler. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Jalene for this one: The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Without hesittion Little Johnny replied: "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!" ____________________________________________________
AThe road to basecamp. Come on, where's your sense of adventure?

Today on March 4
1634 Samuel Cole opened the first tavern in Boston, MA. 
1681 England's King Charles II granted a charter to William Penn 
 for an area that later became the state of Pennsylvania. 
1766 The British Parliament repealed the Stamp Act, which had 
 caused bitter and violent opposition in the U.S. colonies. 
1813 The Russians fighting against Napoleon reached Berlin. 
 The French garrison evacuated the city without a fight. 
1826 The first railroad in the U.S. was chartered. It was the 
 Granite Railway in Quincy, MA. 
1837 The state of Illinois granted a city charter to Chicago. 
1861 The Confederate States of America adopted the "Stars and Bars" flag. 
1877 Emile Berliner invented the microphone. 
1880 Halftone engraving was used for the first time when the 
 "Daily Graphic" was published in New York City. 
1904 In Korea, Russian troops retreated toward the Manchurian 
 border as 100,000 Japanese troops advanced. 
1908 The New York board of education banned the act of whipping 
 students in school. 
1914 Doctor Fillatre successfully separated Siamese twins. 
1917 Jeanette Rankin of Montana took her seat as the first woman 
 elected to the House of Representatives. 
1933 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt gave his inauguration speech 
 in which he said "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself." 
1942 "Junior Miss" starring Shirley Temple aired on CBS radio for 
 the first time. 
1947 France and Britain signed an alliance treaty. 
1952 U.S. President Harry Truman dedicated the "Courier," the 
 first seagoing radio broadcasting station. 
1952 Ronald Reagan and Nancy Davis were married. 
1954 In Boston, Peter Bent Brigham Hospital reported the first 
 successful kidney transplant. 
1975 Queen Elizabeth knighted Charlie Chaplin. 
1991 Sheik Saad al-Jaber al-Sabah, the prime minister of Kuwait, 
 returned to his country for the first time since Iraq's invasion. 
1994 Bosnia's Croats and Moslems signed an agreement to form a 
 federation in a loose economic union with Croatia. 
1997 U.S. President Clinton barred federal spending on human cloning. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that federal law banned on-the-job 
 sexual harassment even when both parties are the same sex. 
1999 Monica Lewinsky's book about her affair with U.S. President 
 Clinton went on sale in the U.S. 
2002 Canada banned human embryo cloning but permitted government-
 funded scientists to use embryos left over from fertility 
 treatment or abortions. 
2012 Vladimir Putin won re-election in Russia's presidential election.
2016  smiled.


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Their mail is not always received 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, March 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Steven Pace and Katie Smith of Venice, Florida, leave 15 guns, two pipe bombs, two hand grenades within reach of their 5-year-old daughter. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 3, in 1817 The first commercial steamboat route from Louisville to New Orleans was opened. History ______________________________________________________ Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. --- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893 - 1986) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Several women, each trying to one-up the other, appeared in court, each accusing the others of causing the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived. The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, "Okay, I'm ready to hear the evidence...I'll hear the oldest first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony. ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
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Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just WATCHING. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Steven Pace, Katie Smith, Venice, Floriduh Steven Pace and Katie Smith of Venice, Florida, leave 15 guns, two pipe bombs, two hand grenades within reach of their 5-year-old daughter. An entire community is upset after deputies said they discovered weapons, explosives and unacceptable living conditions in a home where a couple lived with their 5-year-old. The home off of Jackson Road in Venice was shared by Steven Pace and Katie Smith, who were arrested and face several charges including aggravated child abuse. Pace also faces a possession of explosives charge. "We stick together as a family and, no, this is not acceptable and this will not be tolerated," said a neighbor named Michele. Michele did not want to give her last name, and lives on the same property shared by Pace and Smith. Michelle said over the past three years, she would babysit Smith's 5-year-old daughter, but recently became concerned. "That day that I saw those weapons, that was it. I said, 'okay Stephen, either you get rid of those or I'm gonna call the cops,'" she said. However, deputies showed up at the home before Michelle made a report. Someone made a call to the Department of Children and Families, requesting a welfare check at the home. "There were five dogs living within the house, 3 ferrets. The place was dirty, filthy, the bathrooms looked like they hadn't been cleaned in years," said Sgt. Brian Gregory with the Sarasota County Sheriff's Office. What started out as concern for the child turned into concern for everyone on the block. Inside the home, deputies said they found about 15 guns, two pipe bombs, two hand grenades and what they believe is synthetic marijuana. The items were all said to be within reach of the 5-year-old. "There were some guns just sitting right out and easily assessable. There were some that were put away. Some of them were loaded," said Sgt. Gregory. Deputies said Pace brought the bombs home about a month ago. He told deputies he didn't intend to hurt anyone with them, but the bomb squad said at least one of the devices was active. "They didn't really have a good excuse and they were aware that these things were acessable," said Sgt. Gregory. The little girl was taken into DCF custody. Neighbors said they are hopeful for her to have a second chance and a good home. "That little girl does not deserve this. She needs a life. She deserves to have a life. This is not a life for nobody," said Michele. Pace and Smith are charged with aggravated child abuse. Pace also faces 4 counts of possession of an explosive device and additional charges are pending. Both are in the Sarasota County Jail. Pace is being held on a $180,000 bond and Smith on $100,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brenda Re: Our mail is not always received Dear Webby Some of the people we write to say they don't get our mail, and some say that they either don't get our mail or they accidentally find it among old mail. What would cause that ? Brenda Dear Brenda That sounds like you have the wrong date, wrong time zone, or wrong AM/PM selected. Because many spammers use that trick to sneak unseen into the previous days pile of mail and hope to be read when you come upon an un-answered mail later, some spam filters look for that trick and dump mail with incorrect dates. However, even if your mail is not auto-dumped, it becomes nearly as invisible if it is stashed in the previous day's pile. Check your time zone setting. Most likely that is the cause of your mail problem. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Because of an ear infection, Little Johnny, had to go to the pediatrician. The doctor directed his comments and questions to Little Johnny in a professional manner. When he asked Little Johnny, "Is there anything you are allergic to?" Little Johnny nodded and whispered in his ear. Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to Little Johnny's mother. She tucked it into her purse without looking at it. As the pharmacist filled the order, he remarked on the unusual food-drug interaction Little Johnny must have. Little Johnny's mother looked puzzled until he showed her the label on the bottle. As per the doctor's instructions, it read, "Do not take with broccoli." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Healthy Breakfast Burritos By melissa [278 Posts, 423 Comments] Approximate Time: about 20 minutes Yield: 6 large burritosHealthy Breakfast Burritos Ingredients: 12 eggs 1 cup spinach, chopped 1/2 cup bell peppers, chopped 1 cup grape tomatoes, halved 6 large white mushrooms, sliced 1 1/2 cup Colby jack cheese, shredded 1 1/2 Tbsp butter 6 spinach tortillas salsa Steps: Using an electric hand mixer, blend your eggs thoroughly. Healthy Breakfast Burritos Shred, slice and chop remaining ingredients, except the tortillas.:) Healthy Breakfast Burritos Melt your butter in a large pan over medium/high heat. Healthy Breakfast Burritos Pour your eggs in the pan, add all of your veggies. Healthy Breakfast Burritos Stir continuously for about 6 minutes, or until set. Healthy Breakfast Burritos Sprinkle your cheese on top and let melt. Healthy Breakfast Burritos Add a portion of this to a tortilla, top with salsa if desired. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their guide halted before the ostriches to explain: "Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. It can see very little and can digest practically anything." "Goodness," exclaimed one of the women. "Wouldn't THAT make an ideal husband !" ___________________________________________________
Hazmat Highway to hell
____________________________________________________ "I'm applying for that mechanic's job you had advertised in this morning's paper," the fellow told the garage owner. "Well, what are your qualifications? have you had any mechanical experience with cars?" "Well, of course. I'm the fellow who used to put part 232-B-4976 onto all the carsat Fords." "Well, how come you aren't there any more?" "I had a little tough luck." "Tough luck?" "Yeah, I dropped my monkey wrench one day and by the time I stopped to pick it up I was twenty-seven cars behind." ____________________________________________________ A rancher applied for a loan at a bank. "How much do you want to borrow?" asked the loan interviewer. "Twenty-five thousand dollars." "All right, but you'll have to show security. How many bulls do you have on your ranch?" "Two hundred." "That should be enough security. The loan is approved." Several months later the rancher returned to the bank to repay the loan. "Here's your money," he declared, peeling off bills from a huge bankroll. "Well, sir, let me congratulate you on your sudden prosperity," said the interviewer, eyeing the bankroll. "And for safety's sake, may I suggest you eposit that extra money in our bank?" Staring at him coldly, the rancher asked, "How many bulls do you have?" ____________________________________________________
An American desert is in 'super bloom' this year.

Today on March 3
1791 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution that created the 
 U.S. Mint. 
1812 The U.S. Congress passed the first foreign aid bill. 
1817 The first commercial steamboat route from Louisville 
 to New Orleans was opened. 
1845 Florida became the 27th U.S. state. 
1845 The U.S. Congress passed legislation overriding a 
 U.S. President’s veto. It was the first time the Congress 
 had achieved this. 
1849 The Gold Coinage Act was passed by the U.S. Congress. 
 It allowed the minting of gold coins. 
1851 The U.S. Congress authorized the 3-cent piece. It was 
 the smallest U.S. silver coin. 
1857 Britain and France declared war on China. 
1863 Free city delivery of mail was authorized by the 
 U.S. Postal Service. 
1875 The U.S. Congress authorized the 20-cent piece. 
 It was only used for 3 years. 
1878 Russia and the Ottomans signed the treaty of San Stenafano. 
 The treaty granted independence to Romania, Serbia, Montenegro, 
 and the autonomy of Bulgaria. 
1885 The American Telephone and Telegraph (AT&T) was incorporated 
 in New York as a subsidiary of the American Bell Telephone Company. 
1900 Striking miners in Germany returned to work. 
1903 In St. Louis, MO, Barney Gilmore was arrested for spitting. 
1903 The U.S. imposed a $2 head tax on immigrants. 
1904 Wilhelm II of Germany made the first recording of a political 
 document with Thomas Edison's cylinder. 
1905 The Russian Czar agreed to create an elected assembly. 
1906 A Frenchman tried the first flight in an airplane with tires. 
1908 The U.S. government declared open war on on U.S. anarchists. 
1909 Aviators Herring, Curtiss and Bishop announced that airplanes 
 would be made commercially in the U.S. 
1910 Nicaraguan rebels admitted defeat in open war and resorted 
 to guerrilla tactics in the hope of U.S. intervention. 
1931 The "Star Spangled Banner," written by Francis Scott Key, was 
 adopted as the American national anthem. The song was originally 
 a poem known as "Defense of Fort McHenry." 
1941 Moscow denounced the Axis rule in Bulgaria. 
1945 During World War II, Finland saw who was winning and switched 
 sides and declared war on the Axis shortly before WWII ended. 
1952 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld New York's Feinberg Law that 
 banned Communist teachers in the U.S. 
1956 Morocco gained its independence. 
1969 Apollo 9 was launched by NASA to test a lunar module. 
1969 Sirhan Sirhan testified in a Los Angeles court that he 
 killed Robert Kennedy. 
1972 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft was launched. 
1973 Japan disclosed its first defense plan since World War II. 
1974 About 350 people died when a Turkish Airlines DC-10 crashed 
 just after takeoff from Orly Airport in Paris. 
1978 The remains of Charles Chaplin were stolen from his grave 
 in Cosier-sur-Vevey, Switzerland. The body was recovered 11 
 weeks later near Lake Geneva. 
1980 The submarine Nautilus was decommissioned. The vessels final 
 voyage had ended on May 26, 1979. 
1985 Women Against Pornography awarded its ‘Pig Award’ to 
 Huggies Diapers. The activists claimed that the TV ads for 
 diapers had "crossed the line between eye-catching and porn." 
1987 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a package of 
 $30 million in non-lethal aid for the Nicaraguan Contras. 
1991 25 people were killed when a United Airlines Boeing 737-200 
 crashed while on approach to the Colorado Springs airport. 
1991 Rodney King was severely beaten by Los Angeles police 
 officers. The scene was captured on amateur video.
1994 The Mexican government reached a peace agreement with the 
 Chiapas rebels. 
1995 A U.N. peacekeeping mission in Somalia ended. Several gunmen 
 were killed by U.S. Marines in Mogadishu while overseeing the 
 pull out of peacekeepers. 
1999 Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones began their attempt to 
 circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon non-stop. They 
 succeeded on March 20, 1999.
2016  smiled.


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How to make invoices 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, March 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man on Tampa’s ‘most wanted’ list chews off fingertip skin to avoid being identified by police Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 2, in 1807 The U.S. Congress passed an act to "prohibit the importation of slaves into any port or place within the jurisdiction of the United States." History ______________________________________________________ Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. --- Pete Seeger In heaven all the interesting people are missing. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." --- Confucius "Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater." --- William Hazlitt ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was their fifth anniversary, and Sandra and Michael had just returned from the movies. Sandra was feeling romantic. "Will you love me when my hair has turned to silver?" she crooned. "Why not?" Michael grunted. "Didn't I love you through hundred fourty seven other colors and shades?" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Bill decided to stop worrying about his wife's driving and took advantage of it. He got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 toll number on it. At $1 a call, her driving will have earned her a new car by Christmas. ______________________________________________________ Rome, Italy From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kirk Kelly, 24, Tampa, Floriduh Florida man on Tampa’s ‘most wanted’ list chews off fingertip skin to avoid being identified by police A Florida man went to extreme measures to avoid being identified by police, AL.com reports. Kirk Kelly, 24, was stopped by police in Tallmadge, Ohio, and in an effort to hide his identity, he chewed off the skin on his fingertips so he couldn’t be fingerprinted. Kelly was stopped at about 3 a.m. on Sunday and gave police two fake IDs and his younger brother’s name. As a result, police were having trouble verifying his identification. When he overheard police talking about using a portable device to check his fingerprints, Kelly, who was not handcuffed, chewed off all the skin on the pads of his fingers. “I’ve heard of people sanding them and so forth, but I’ve never had a person chew their fingers off during an investigative process,” Tallmage police Chief Ron Williams told NewsNet5. Tampa police believe he sold the guns that were used in multiple murders. He has a nationwide felony warrant out for drug, weapons and racketeering charges. Kelly has distinctive tattoos that in the end helped police figure out who he was, AL.com reports. He was charged with tampering with evidence. As he was being arrested, Kelly tried to run from police, who tackled him and took him into custody. He has a nation-wide warrant for his arrest, Williams said. “I think it’s shocking,” Williams told NewsNet5. “I think it explains why a person would chew their fingerprints off.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harold K Re: Making invoices Dear Webby We are doing our invoices as PDF files so that supposedly they can not be changed later. Well, nowadays there are free programs that can edit and even create PDF files. To add insult to injury, the PDF files take an awful lot of space and it wastes a lot of time making them. How do big companies handle that? Harold Dear Harold We post invoices in passworded folders on the web that can be viewed only by the person who gets an email link to their invoice. The email also carries the password. The invoice on the web can be printed by the client, but they can not change things on them. Since on invoices the fancy header and the footer with the small print stays the same for every invoice, we have those parts on the net in two include files that are called by every invoice. The only thing the actual invoice carries is what is actually different for that particular invoice. And that is just a very tiny HTML file, typically 2-3 KB. By contrast, in PDF format the same invoice would take about 300 KB. If you use HTML invoices like that, then you can generate the fresh "content" that goes between the unchanging header and footer with any program you want, as long as it can make or fake an HTML table. Even a spreadsheet will do that. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Ms Myrna from the Department of Motor Vehicles finally retired (-to everybody's great relief-). She had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. Myrna's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, "But you ARE giving me back my shot gun for that job, right?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Drying Flowers With Cat Litter Comment by Irene Dear Webby Your alternate product is much better than cat litter. As you mentioned, cat litter has Nil-Odor or a similar odor killer. Zorb-All doesn't. The roses keep their aroma, or most of it, unlike with the cat litter, which makes them smell like cat litter. Thanks Irene ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Southern style insult: "Bless her heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've stayed home." ___________________________________________________
The Gift
____________________________________________________ Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits on the sidewalk in the sun outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principal walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says, "Little Johnny what are you doing sitting here laughing?" Little Johnny says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out." The principle says, "Well then, why are you laughing?" Little Johnny says, "Cause they are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean and fresh air." ____________________________________________________ For the first time in many years, an old man travels from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stops at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. He hands the attendant $1.50 and comments, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replies, "you're really going to enjoy yourself. We have color and sound now!" ____________________________________________________
When bronze and water become one, they produce something incredible These fountains are incredible!

Today on March 2
1807 The U.S. Congress passed an act to "prohibit the 
 importation of slaves into any port or place within the 
 jurisdiction of the United States." 
1836 Texas declared its independence from Mexico and an 
 ad interim government was formed. 
1866 Excelsior Needle Company began making sewing machine 
 needles. 
1897 U.S. President Cleveland vetoed legislation that would 
 have required a literacy test for immigrants entering the 
 country. 
1899 Mount Rainier National Park in Washington was established
1899 U.S. President McKinley signed a measure that created the 
 rank of Admiral for the U.S. Navy. The first admiral was 
 George Dewey.
1900 The U.S. Congress voted to give $2 million in aid to 
 Puerto Rico. 
1901 The first telegraph company in Hawaii opened. 
1901 The U.S. Congress passed the Platt amendment, which limited 
 Cuban autonomy as a condition for withdrawal of U.S. troops. 
1903 The Martha Washington Hotel opened for business in New York 
 City. The hotel had 416 rooms and was the first hotel exclusively 
 for women. 
1906 A tornado in Mississippi killed 33 and did $5 million in damage. 
1907 In Hamburg, Germany, dock workers went on strike after the end 
 of the night shift. British strike breakers were brought in. The 

 issue was settled on April 22, 1907. 
1908 In Paris, Gabriel Lippmann introduced three-dimensional color 
 photography at the Academy of Sciences. 
1917 The Russian Revolution began with Czar Nicholas II abdicating. 
1917 Citizens of Puerto Rico were granted U.S. citizenship with the 
 enactment of the Jones Act. 
1925 State and federal highway officials developed a nationwide 
 route-numbering system and adopted the familiar U.S. shield-shaped, 
 numbered marker. 
1929 The U.S. Court of Customs & Patent Appeals was created by the 
 U.S. Congress. 
1933 The motion picture King Kong had its world premiere in New York. 
1939 The Massachusetts legislature voted to ratify the Bill of Rights 
 to the U.S. Constitution. These first ten amendments had gone into 
 effect 147 years before. 
1946 Ho Chi Minh was elected President of Vietnam. 
1949 The B-50 Superfortress Lucky Lady II landed in Fort Worth, TX. 
 The American plane had completed the first non-stop around-the-world 
 flight. 
1969 In Toulouse, France, the supersonic transport Concorde made its 
 first test flight. 
1983 The U.S.S.R. performed an underground nuclear test. 
1984 The first McDonald's franchise was closed. A new location was 
 opened across the street from the old location in Des Plaines, IL. 
1985 The U.S. government approved a screening test for AIDS that 
 detected antibodies to the virus that allowed possibly contaminated 
 blood to be kept out of the blood supply. 
1986 Corazon Aquino was sworn into office as president of the 
 Philippines. Her first public declaration was to restore the civil 
 rights of the citizens of her country. 
1987 The U.S. government reported that the median price for a new 
 home had gone over $100,000 for the first time. 
1989 Representatives from the 12 European Community nations all 
 agreed to ban all production of CFCs (chlorofluorocarbons) by 
 the end of the 20th century. 
1995 Russian anti-corruption journalist Vladislav Listyev was 
 killed by a gunman in Moscow. 
1995 Nick Leeson was arrested for his role in the collapse of 
 Britain's Barings Bank. 
1998 The U.N. Security Council endorsed U.N. chief Kofi Annan's 
 deal to open Iraq's presidential palaces to arms inspectors. 
1998 Images from the American spacecraft Galileo indicated that 
 the Jupiter moon Europa has a liquid ocean and a source of 
 interior heat. 
2000 In Great Britain, Chile's former President Augusto Pinochet 
 Ugarte was freed from house arrest and allowed to return to Chile. 
 Britain's Home Secretary Jack Straw had concluded that Pinochet 
 was mentally and physically unable to stand trial. Belgium, 
 France, Spain and Switzerland had sought the former Chilean 
 leader on human-rights violations. 
2003 Over the Sea of Japan, there was a confrontation between four 
 armed North Korean fighter jets and a U.S. RC-135S Cobra Ball. 
 No shots were fired in the encounter in international airspace 
 about 150 miles off North Korea's coast. The U.S. Air Force 
 announced that it would resume reconnaissance flights on March 12. 
2004 NASA announced that the Mars rover Opportunity had discovered 
 evidence that water had existed on Mars in the past. 
2011 Steve Jobs unveiled Apple's iPad 2.
2016  smiled.


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Is Jet Pac secure enough? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, March 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Brent Krebsbach, the drunk menace of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, is arrested for his 7th drunk driving charge. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, March 1, in 1498 Vasco de Gama landed at what is now Mozambique on his way to India. History ______________________________________________________ Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. --- Pete Seeger ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ In 1977, there were 37 Elvis impersonators in the USA. In 1993, there were 48,000. At this rate, by the year 2020, one out of every three people will be an Elvis impersonator. ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house." "Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate, yes, my dear, but not in the House." ______________________________________________________ Achensee, Tirol From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brent Krebsbach, 48, Sheboygan, Wisconsin Brent Krebsbach, the drunk menace of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, is arrested for his 7th drunk driving charge. A man arrested for his 7th OWI told officers he could drive home in his totaled car and yelled expletives at hospital staff who drew his blood. Brent Krebsbach, 48, was charged with 7th DUI, disorderly conduct and driving after revocation after being involved in a crash on Lakeshore Road and Pine Bluff Drive in Sheboygan on Wednesday, Feb. 17. If he is convicted on all the charges, he could face a maximum sentence of six years and three months behind bars. According to the criminal complaint: Officers and paramedics were dispatched to Lakeshore Road and Pine Bluff Drive for a personal injury crash. Krebsbach was found in the driver's seat of his car. While Krebsbach was removed from his car, he was unsteady and slurring his speech. Krebsbach admitted to having drinks before driving, but told responders at the scene that he didn't want treatment and wanted to drive home. Given the fact that Krebsbach car was totaled and his windshield cracked, he was transported to Memorial Medical Center to be treated. He asked hospital staff that the officer that came with him be removed from his room. Krebsbach was placed under arrest and asked to submit to a blood test, which he refused. District Attorney Joe DeCecco responded to medical center and a search warrant was obtained for his blood. Krebsbach began to be disruptive, calling the hospital staff expletives. He also urinated on himself during the trip. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Al Re: Jet Pac Connection Dear Webby I was wondering how secure is it using Jet Pac internet connection? Thanks, Al Dear Al I am not familiar with jet Pac, so I googled for it. It seems that Google has bought Jet Pac a couple of years ago. There was nothing bad listed about it. There is also a Jet Pac game, and again, nothing bad listed about that either. Verizon now also likes that name too and sells the Verizon Jet Pac as a way to connect all your mobile devices in your house like tablets, phones, laptops, etc to your existing Verizon Internet connection. It seems to work OK and I did not see any obvious complaints about it on the net. As long as you use a decent password and don't give it to your kids, who will always give it to friends and neighbors, the Verizon Jet Pac seems to be OK. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, the doctor nodded and wrote out a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer. The man asked, "How often do I take these?" "Let's start off with once every six hours. But they're not for you," replied the doctor. "They're for your wife." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Drying Flowers With Cat Litter By dorothy wedenoja [170 Posts, 111 Comments] At this time of year, we have a lot of beautiful flowers blooming. A cheaper way of drying them is to use a cheap cat litter. Make sure you use the plain clay litter. Line a box with paper towels, put a layer of cat litter on the paper towels. Place your roses (or flowers to be dried) on the litter, making sure they aren't touching. Gently add more of the litter to cover the flowers. They should be dry in about 10 days. Shake them gently to remove excess litter. Spray with the cheap super-hold hair spray. It will seal and protect them. It will take along time to use up all the litter and it works better than the expensive silica gel. The results will be beautiful. By Dorothy from New Creek, WV If you don't have cats just go to an automotive aftermarket store and ask for "Sorb-All". They might call it something different in your state, but they will know what you mean. Sorb-All is the Bentonite Clay part of cat litter, without the nose deadening Nil-Odor and the fancy packaging. Mechanics, both home and professionals, use it to pull oil and gas stains out of concrete and absorb spills. A big, huge bag of it costs less than a small box of cat litter. It doesn't stop smells like cat litter does, but is great for absorbing liquids. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site." Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"? Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time.I'm 'fraid someone will break dey laig, so I fix de hole. " Priest: "Well, that's not so bad." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left." Priest: "What did you do with it?" Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain't never had no place to get outta de wether, so I make him his own leetle doghouse." Priest: "OK, anything else?" Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left. So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to get outta de wether either, so I make her a two car garage." Priest: "Now, this is getting a little out of hand." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I still had a leetle lumber left." Priest: "Yes?" Boudreaux: "Well, my wife, she always want a bigger house. So I add two bedrooms and a new bat'room." Priest: "OK! That's definitely too much. For your penance, you are going to have to make a Novena. You do know how to make a Novena, don't you?" Boudreaux: "No, Father...But, if you got de blueprints, I got de lumber." (For those of you who don't know, a Novena is a huge set of prayers) ___________________________________________________
San Diego Ukelele Festival
____________________________________________________ >From Laura With some misgivings, we left a young baby-sitter in charge of our three energetic youngsters. When we returned a few, hours later, she was sitting alone watching TV. I went to check on the children, and found them in our narrow hallway. By bracing their arms and legs against the walls, two of them had climbed up to the ceiling. "The baby-sitter taught us how," they said gleefully. The sitter joined me, her face a deep red. "Since they had me climbing the walls, I figured they might as well be too," she stammered. ____________________________________________________ Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. Still, he was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it." So she steered the boat to shore and docked it. Later that evening, the wife walked into the livingroom where her husband was reading a novel... She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Honey, go into the kitchen. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. Do the laundry, cook dinner, set the table, and wash the dishes." ____________________________________________________
Hey!People are AWESOME best of the month February 2016

Today on March 1
1498 Vasco de Gama landed at what is now Mozambique on his 
 way to India. 
1562 In Vassy, France, Catholics massacred over 1,000 Huguenots. 
 The event started the First War of Religion. 
1692 In Salem Village, in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, the Salem 
 witch trials began. Four women were the first to be charged. 
1781 In America, the Continental Congress adopted the Articles 
 of Confederation. 
1784 In Great Britain, E. Kidner opened the first cooking school. 
1810 Sweden became the first country to appoint an Ombudsman, 
 Lars August Mannerheim. 
1811 Egyptian ruler Mohammed Ali massacred the leaders of the 
 Mameluke dynasty. 
1815 Napoleon returned to France from the island of Elba. He had 
 been forced to abdicate in April of 1814. 
1862 Prussia formally recognized the Kingdom of Italy. 
1869 Postage stamps with scenes were issued for the first time. 
1872 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of Yellowstone 
 National Park. It was the world's first national park. 
1873 E. Remington and Sons of Ilion, NY, began the manufacturing 
 the first practical typewriter. 
1896 The Battle of Adowa began in Ethiopia between the forces of 
 Emperor Menelik II and Italian troops. The Italians were defeated. 
1900 In South Africa, Ladysmith was relieved by British troops after 
 being under siege by the Boers for more than four months. 
1907 In Odessa, Russia, there were only about 15,000 Jews left 
 due to evacuations. 
1907 In Spain, a royal decree abolished civil marriages. 
1912 Captain Albert Berry made the first parachute jump from a 
 moving airplane. 
1927 The Bank of Italy became a National Bank. 
1932 The 22-month-old son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh was 
 kidnapped. The child was found dead in May. 
1937 U.S. Steel raised workers’ wages to $5 a day. 
1937 In Connecticut, the first permanent automobile license 
 plates were issued. 
1941 FM Radio began in Nashville, TN, when station W47NV 
 began operations. 
1941 Bulgaria joined the Axis powers by signing the 
 Tripartite Pact. 
1947 The International Monetary Fund began operations. 
1949 Joe Louis announced that he was retiring from boxing 
 as world heavyweight boxing champion. 
1950 Klaus Fuchs was convicted of giving U.S. atomic 
 secrets to the Soviet Union. 
1954 The United States announced that it had conducted a 
 hydrogen bomb test on the Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean. 
1959 Archbishop Makarios returned to Cyprus from exile. 
1961 The Peace Corps was established by U.S. President Kennedy. 
1962 Pakistan announced that it had a new constitution that set 
 up a presidential system of government. 
1966 The Soviet probe, Venera 3 crashed on the planet Venus. 
 It was the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the surface 
 of another planet. 
1966 Ghana ordered all Soviet, East German and Chinese technicians 
 to leave the country. 
1971 A bomb exploded in a restroom in the Senate wing of the U.S. 
 Capitol. There were no injuries. A U.S. group protesting the 
 Vietnam War claimed responsibility. 
1974 Seven people were indicted in connection with the Watergate 
 break-in. The charge was conspiring to obstruct justice. 
1987 S&H Green Stamps became S&H Green Seals. The stamps were 
 introduced 90 years earlier. 
1988 Soviet troops were sent into Azerbaijan after ethnic riots 
 between Armenians and Azerbaijanis. 
1989 In Washington, DC, Mayor Barry and the City council imposed 
 a curfew on minors. 
1990 In Cairo, 16 people were killed in a fire at the Sheraton 
 Hotel. 
1991 Yahoo was incorporated. 
1992 Bosnian Serb snipers fired upon civilians after a majority 
 of the Moslem and Croatian communities voted in favor of 
 Bosnia's independence.
1992 King Fahd of Saudi Arabia announced major political reforms 
 that ceded some powers after 10 years of disciplined rule. 
1992 Bosnian Muslims and Croats voted to secede from Yugoslavia. 
1993 The U.S. government announced that the number of food stamp 
 recipients had reached a record number of 26.6 million. 
1994 Israel released about 500 Arab prisoners in an effort to 
 placate Palestinians over the Hebron massacre. 
1996 In Kuala, Lumpur, construction was completed for the 
 Petronas Towers. 
1999 The Angolan Embassy in Lusaka, Zambia, exploded. Four 
 other bombs went off in the capital. 
1999 In Uganda, eight tourists were brutally murdered by 
 Hutu rebels. 
2002 Operation Anaconda began in eastern Afghanistan. 
 Allied forces were fighting against Taliban and 
 Al Quaida fighters. 
2003 In the U.S., approximately 180,000 personnel from 
 22 different organizations around the government became 
 part of the Department of Homeland Security. This completed 
 the largest government reorganization since the beginning 
 of the Cold War. 
2003 Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by CIA and Pakistani 
 agents near Islamabad. He was the suspected mastermind 
 behind the terrorist attacks on the United States on 
 September 11, 2001.
2016  smiled.


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Lost picture from ancient Humor Letter 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, February 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Upstate New York judge busted for drunken driving on her way to court in Rochester Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 29, in 1288 - Scotland established this day as one when a woman could propose marriage to a man. In the event that he refused the proposal he was required to pay a fine. History ______________________________________________________ One man's folly is another man's wife. --- Helen Rowland (1876 - 1950) The best time to plant an oak tree was twenty-five years ago. The second best time is today. --- James Carville ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Unicorn caught by CHP after 3 hour chase by cop cars and helicopters. Video ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "It's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Update from Sailor: Yesterday's Bonehead Nora Longoria,s case was dismissed and she remains a justice on the 13th Court of Appeals. Judge Rolando Cantu with Hidalgo County Court at Law No. 8 signed an order dismissing the case on grounds that prosecutors forgot to ask for the dash cam video and therefore did not have enough evidence. An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Leticia Astacio, 34, Rochester, New York Upstate New York judge busted for drunken driving on her way to court in Rochester Rochester City Court Judge Leticia Astacio was charged with misdemeanor driving while intoxicated Saturday morning and issued an appearance ticket. According to Monroe County District Attorney Sandra Doorley, Astacio, 34, was ticketed by New York State Police traveling on Interstate 490 near the Mt. Read Boulevard exit about 8 a.m. on Feb 13/2016. Trooper Chris Kowalski said troopers came upon Astacio's vehicle on I-490 and that the investigation is still ongoing. Astacio's car was damaged in what was possibly a one-car crash. No other car was reported to be involved. Astacio was headed to Rochester City Court to preside over Saturday morning arraignments The ticket was designated DWI with refusal, and she is scheduled to appear in court on March 11. According to Kowalski, Astacio refused to take a Breathalyzer test. Judge Charles Crimi presided over arraignments in Astacio's place, according to Doorley. Astacio, a Democrat, was elected to her position in 2014. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jeyavor Re: I love my computer picture Dear Webby I love your newsletter, but I have a bit of a problem. I was using a cartoon you recently published as walpaper, but I accidently erased it. I'd like to get it back... how do I do it? It was "I love my computer...all my friends are in it!" Thanks! Dear Jeyavor It was probably one of these: ILMC1 ILMC2 ILMC3 Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably. "All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making a Tiny Sewing Repair Kit By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] I made this little thread holder to use in my Felt Monster Sewing Kit, however I realized that it would also work really well as a stand alone item. It is small enough to fit in your wallet or almost anywhere. Now it will be easy to sew a loose button back onto your clothing or fix a seam. Supplies: mini craft sticks (Woodsies 2 1/2" x 3/8" x 1/12") hot glue gun felt scissors thread sewing needle Steps: Take two mini craft sticks and apply a small amount of hot glue to the middle of one stick. Then adhere the sticks together. Be sure to press them together firmly so that there isn't much of a gap between them. Cut a narrow strip of felt long enough to wrap around the middle of the sticks. Apply a small amount of glue and adhere the end of the felt, wrap it around the sticks and glue it in place, trimming off any excess felt. Slip the end of the thread in between the two sticks, then begin wrapping the thread around. Once you have a good amount of thread on the sticks, cut it loose from the spool. Now slide the loose end in between the sticks to keep it from unraveling. Repeat on the other end with another color of thread. The felt strip around the middle is the perfect place to store a spare needle. After inserting the needle through the felt, simply nestle the tip of the needle into the thread to keep it from poking you unexpectedly. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ That reminds me,..... A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $2,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." ___________________________________________________
Blue Angels - credit Lillemor
____________________________________________________ After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and gasped, "I gave you an extra two hours --and you're still not ready?" ____________________________________________________ A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church." ____________________________________________________
Hey! I know these guys and gal! My favorite Scottish band from Glasgow, Scotland. Jaquie, Davey, Kyle, Aya, Jamesie, and Donnie on the bagpipes.

Today on February 29
1288 - Scotland established this day as one when a woman 
 could propose marriage to a man. In the event that he 
 refused the proposal he was required to pay a fine. 
1860 - The first electric tabulating machine was invented 
 by Herman Hollerith. 
1904 - In Washington, DC, a seven-man commission was created 
 to hasten the construction of the Panama Canal. 
1944 - The invasion of the Admiralty Islands began with 
 "Operation Brewer." U.S. General Douglas MacArthur led his 
 forces onto Los Negros. 
1944 - The Office of Defense Transportation, for the second year 
 in a row, restricted attendance at the Kentucky Derby to 
 residents of the Louisville area. This was an effort to prevent 
 a railroad traffic burden during wartime. 
1964 - Dawn Fraser got her 36th world record. The Australian 
 swimmer was timed at 58.9 seconds in the 100-meter freestyle 
 in Sydney, Australia.
1988 - "Day by Day" premiered on NBC-TV. 
2010 - In Japan, the Tokyo Skytree tower was completed as the 
 tallest tower in the world. 
2016  smiled.


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Keyboard Shortcuts strip 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, February 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas judge busted for drunk driving pleads for special treatment: 'You are going to ruin my life'. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 28, in 1849 Regular steamboat service to California via Cape Horn arrived in San Francisco for the first time. The SS California had left New York Harbor on October 6, 1848. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. History ______________________________________________________ It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your incredible sense of humor." ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "God is OK. He won't tell my wife." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Phoenix Rising! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nora Longoria, 49, McAllen, Texas Texas judge busted for drunk driving pleads for special treatment: 'You are going to ruin my life'. A Texas appeals court judge appealed for some special treatment when she was busted for drunk driving over the weekend. Justice Nora Longoria was going 69 mph in her Lexus in a 55-mph zone when she was stopped by cops in McAllen just after 1 a.m. on Saturday morning, according to court records obtained by the Valley Morning Star. As she slurred her words, Longoria begged the officers for leniency even though she admitted she had five beers that evening, the last one three hours before getting behind the wheel. “Please let me go home," she said, according to the Valley Morning Star. "I live a couple of miles away ... you are going to ruin my life. I worked hard for 25 years to be where I am today." In addition, Longoria, 49, refused to let cops put handcuffs on her until they threatened her with a charge of resisting arrest, according to the documents. Longoria also declined to take a Breathalyzer after failing several sobriety tests. She was charged with driving while intoxicated and was released from jail later that morning after posting $2,000 bond. She was elected to the 13th Court of Appeals in 2012, and now she tells cops they are ruining her, because she was drunk as a skunk. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wanda Re: Shortcut keys Dear Webby Thanks very much for all those keyboard shortcuts! My mom used to have these cardboard strips that fit onto the keyboard above the F keys and that had keyboard shortcuts printed on them. She had a strip for WordPerfect and one for Quattro and one for her magic mystery bats. Could you, pretty please, make us a strip like that for the keyboard shortcuts we need nowadays? Thanks xoxox Wanda Dear Wanda Your style seems somehow familiar, and so is the term "magic mystery bats". Please give my regards to your mother! OK, since you asked so nicely, I made a strip with the keyboard shortcuts for nowadays. You can see it and print the strip from that page at http://webby.com/humor/key-codes.html http://webby.com/humor/key-codes.html Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ >From Carla Dear Webby, re those two boys and their baptism,.... in our church we too have "pisscapalians", but here that's the name for those who sneak out for a potty break and who get stuck at the Capucino machine in the lobby until well after the collection plate has been passed. Carla ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Banana-Cinnamon Muffins with Crumb Topping By Jackie H. [141 Posts, 38 Comments] These muffins are a nice healthy crunchy snack with coffee in the morning! Banana-Cinnamon Muffins with Crumb Topping Ingredients: Muffins 2/3 cup sugar 1 stick butter, softened 2 eggs 2/3 cup mashed bananas (3 bananas) 1 tsp vanilla 1-2/3 all purpose flour 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 1 tsp (heaping) cinnamon Topping 1/4 cup white sugar 1/4 cup light brown sugar 1 tsp cinnamon 1/4 cup melted butter Steps: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease cupcake pan with shortening, spray flour, or line them with paper wrappers. In a medium bowl, beat sugar, butter and eggs until smooth. Stir in the remaining ingredients, flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon & bananas & vanilla. Mix until all moistened. Fill baking cups 2/3 full. Bake for 17-21 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Take them out and let them cool on a wire rack. In a small bowl melt the butter, and in a second bowl mix the sugar, brown sugar and cinnamon. Take the muffin and dip it in the butter and then the crumb mix. Do this to each muffin. It gives each muffin a crumbly topping. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Some Taliban decide to start a chicken farm. They get some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst. When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat confused, but they don't give up. They get some more chickens, but these are planted feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the second batch of chickens die, too. They decide to write a letter to the agriculture bureau. In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they have followed and their disappointing results. A few weeks later they receive this reply from the bureau: "Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample." ___________________________________________________
tool station - not under my roof
____________________________________________________ While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!" ____________________________________________________ Sue wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appointment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday she got there by 9 a.m and there were already ten people waiting. Sue drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so she went home. Her husband greeted her at the door. "That was fast !" he said cheerfully. "And your hair looks great!" ____________________________________________________
An LED hula hoop makes for some interesting light painting.

Today on February 28
1827 The Baltimore & Ohio Railroad became the first railroad 
 incorporated for commercial transportation of people and freight. 
1844 Several people were killed aboard the USS Princeton when a 
 12-inch gun exploded. 
1849 Regular steamboat service to California via Cape Horn arrived 
 in San Francisco for the first time. The SS California had left 
 New York Harbor on October 6, 1848. The trip took 4 months and 
 21 days. 
1854 The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About 50 
 slavery opponents began the new political group. 
1883 The first vaudeville theater opened. 
1893 Edward G. Acheson showed his patent for Carborundum. 
1900 In South Africa, British troops relieved Ladysmith, which 
 had been under siege since November 2, 1899. 
1911 Thomas A. Edison, Inc. was organized. 
1940 The first televised basketball game was shown. The game 
 featured Fordham University and the University of Pittsburgh 
 from Madison Square Gardens in New York. 
1951 A Senate committee issued a report that stated that there 
 were at least two major crime syndicates in the U.S. 
1953 In a Cambridge University laboratory, scientists James D. 
 Watson and Francis H.C. Crick discovered the double-helix 
 structure of DNA. 
1956 A patent was issued to Forrester for a computer memory core. 
1974 The U.S. and Egypt re-established diplomatic relations after 
 a break of seven years. 
1983 "M*A*S*H" became the most watched television program in 
 history when the final episode aired. 
1986 Swedish Prime Minister Olof Palme was assassinated in 
 Stockholm. 
1993 U.S. Federal agents raided the compound of an armed religious 
 cult in Waco, TX. The ATF had planned to arrest the leader of 
 the Branch Davidians, David Koresh, on federal firearms charges. 
 Four agents and six Davidians were killed and a 51-day standoff 
 followed. 
1994 NATO made its first military strike when U.S. F-16 fighters 
 shot down four Bosnian Serb warplanes in violation of a no-fly 
 zone over central Bosnia. 
1995 The Denver International Airport opened after a 16-month delay. 
1998 Serbian police began a campaign to wipe out "terrorist gangs" 
 in the Yugoslav province of Kosovo. 
2002 In Ahmadabad, India, Hindus set fire to homes in a Muslim 
 neighborhood. At least 55 people were killed in the attack. 
2007 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft made a gravitational slingshot 
 against Jupiter to change the planned trajectory towards Pluto. 
2013 Benedict XVI resigned as pope. He was the first pope to 
 resign since Gregory XII in 1415 and the first to resign 
 voluntarily since Celestine V in 1294. 
2016  smiled.


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Origin of pictures 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, February 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Cold Spring, Minnesota, bonehead, who was jealous because his wife was spending more time with their 4 month old than him. He tried to shoot her while she is breastfeeding the baby. Lucky for her, the gun jams. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 27, in 1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration. History ______________________________________________________ We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for. --- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much. --- John Wayne (1907 - 1979) A short saying oft contains much wisdom. --- Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC) "You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him." --- Leo Aikman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Clyde The judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It's made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded. "I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?" "Well, I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my husband's parents." The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?" "No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we don't have a car." "Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?" "Yes,both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music - all that hip hop and rap tap - but we can't seem to do anything about it." "Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" "Yes. Sure does.He gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee." The judge asked, "Is your husband a nagger?" "Oh, hell no, he's as white as you and me!" Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why in hell do you want a divorce? "Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce, my husband does. The damn fool says he can't communicate with me." Sent from my rotary phone Clyde unsubscribed a month ago because he was going to a hospice to die. He still continues to chirp in now and then. Hang in there, Clyde! ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
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or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A taxicab went out of control and raced crazily through traffic like some Toyotas with faulty chips are apt to do. "Can't you stop it?" the passenger yelled at the driver. "No!" shouted the driver. "Well," said the passenger, "at least turn off the meter!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas George Lehmeier, 28 Cold Spring, Minnesota Cold Spring, Minnesota, bonehead is jealous his wife is spending more time with their 4 month old than him. He tries to shoot her while she is breastfeeding the baby. Lucky for her, the gun jams. A 28-year-old Cold Spring man is accused of abusing his wife for over 10 years, including nearly shooting her while she breastfed their baby last summer, according to charges filed in Stearns County. Nicholas George Lehmeier faces one felony count of second- degree assault with a dangerous weapon – a firearm – in connection to the July 2015 incident. According to the complaint, on Monday, Feb. 8, a woman spoke to a deputy at the sheriff’s office and reported that Lehmeier had been subjecting her to physical and verbal abuse for over 10 years. She said in July, Lehmeier took a 12-gauge shotgun, loaded it and pointed it at her as she was breastfeeding their 4-month-old baby. She said she remembered him cocking the gun and pulling the trigger about 3 to 4 feet from her, but it didn’t go off. He was allegedly upset that she was spending more time with the child than him. According to the complaint, the incident happened the first night they were able to bring the child home since their five children were removed from the home due to a prior incident. In that prior incident, Lehmeier was charged and convicted with assaulting their 7-year-old child. The complaint continues that after the shotgun incident, he went and grabbed a handgun, along with one round, saying “one bullet is all I need to end this.” The victim thought he was going to shoot her, but he then allegedly went downstairs and shot the gun out of a window because he didn’t want to shoot her. The victim said she didn’t tell authorities because she was too afraid, and that he always threatened to kill her or the children. She said he also controlled all their finances, controlled who she was friends with and never allowed her to have anything private in her life. The victim also accused Lehmeier of raping her and that he said because they were married she had to have sex with him. If convicted, Lehmeier faces up to seven years in prison and/or a $14,000 fine. In Minnesota what he did is apparently not a big deal. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Picture Origin Dear Webby Thanks for that Today Bonnie Smiled - I actually did when I read it! But here's what I wanted to share with you and all your subscribers. Did you know that if you come across a picture on the Internet that you can't identify or figure out where/what it is, you can Right Click once and then type S (not case sensitive) and there's a very good chance you will find that image somewhere with the info you want. I'm not sure if this will work in Internet Explorer; for sure in Chrome. I just did that with today's photo, since it didn't look like I could use it effectively for my desktop background that I change every day, and found not only that photo but tons of other similar ones. If you want to edit this & include it in the letter as a tip for all, feel free. In any case, hey, have a great day up there in your part of the world! Bonnie in Candia, NH Dear Bonnie Thanks for a very valuable tip! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. "He's on a studded snow tire, somewhere in Wisconsin." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Hot Chocolate Bar for Parties By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] At your next holiday, why not warm up your guests by having a hot chocolate bar. It was a big hit at our son's birthday party, especially for the kids! We had both a large crockpot with a ladle and an electric kettle for hot water. Supplies: hot chocolate mix whipped cream candy canes (crushed or whole) mini marshmallows sprinkles cups with lids and sleeves stir sticks ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Connie A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted: "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than a $20, I wouldn't be eating here." ___________________________________________________
why women have handbags
____________________________________________________ A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before." "That's OK", she replied. "Just pick around the already blessed stuff." ____________________________________________________ It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!" ____________________________________________________
People are AWESOME!

Today on February 27
1700 The Pacific Island of New Britain was discovered. 
1801 The city of Washington, DC, was placed under 
 congressional jurisdiction. 
1827 New Orleans held its first Mardi Gras celebration. 
1861 In Warsaw, Russian troops fired on a crowd protesting 
 Russian rule over Poland. Five protesting marchers were 
 killed in the incident. 
1867 Dr. William G. Bonwill invented the dental mallet. 
1883 Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling 
 machine. 
1896 The "Charlotte Observer" published a picture of an X-ray 
 photograph made by Dr. H.L. Smith. The photograph showed a 
 perfect picture of all the bones of a hand and a bullet that 
 Smith had placed between the third and fourth fingers in the palm. 
1900 In South Africa, the British received an unconditional 
 surrender from Boer Gen. Piet Cronje at Paardeberg. 
1933 The Reichstag, Germany's parliament building in Berlin, was 
 set afire. The Nazis accused Communist for the fire. 
1939 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes. 
1949 Chaim Weizmann became the first Israeli president. 
1951 The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified, 
 limiting U.S. Presidents to two terms. 
1973 The American Indian Movement occupied Wouned Knee in 
 South Dakota. 
1982 Wayne B. Williams was convicted of murdering two of the 
 28 black children and young adults whose bodies were found in 
 Atlanta, GA, over a two-year period. 
1990 The Exxon Corporation and Exxon Shipping were indicted on 
 five criminal counts in reference to the 1989 Exxon Valdez 
 oil spill. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on 
 television that "Kuwait is liberated." 
1997 In Ireland, divorce became legal. 
1998 Britain's House of Lords agreed to give a monarch's 
 first-born daughter the same claim to the throne as any 
 first-born son. This was the end to 1,000 years of male 
 preference. 
1999 Colin Prescot and Andy Elson set a new hot air balloon 
 endurance record when they had been aloft for 233 hours 
 and 55 minutes. The two were in the process of trying to 
 circumnavigate the Earth. 
1999 Nigeria returned to civilian rule when Gen. Olusegun 
 Obasanjo became the country's first elected president since 
 August of 1983. 
2002 In Boston, twenty people working at Logan International 
 Airport were charged with lying to get their jobs or 
 security badges. 
2016  smiled.


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What is a BAT file? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, February 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in History ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Things weren't going too well in the Sunday School class. Nobody seemed to recall the identity of Matthew. Nor did they do any better with Mark. Finally, the teacher said hopefully, "Surely somebody remembers Peter!" A small boy in the last row came to the rescue. "Teacher," he piped, "wasn't he a wabbit?" ______________________________________________________
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with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A son and father went to see a doctor since the father was getting very ill. The doctor told the father and son that the father was dying from cancer. The father who was an Irishman, turned to his son and said "Son, even on this gloomy day, its our tradition to drink to health as it is in death; so let's go to the pub and celebrate my demise." Reluctantly, the son followed his father to the local pub. After they left, the son turned to his father and said, "Father, it is not AIDS you are dying from. It is cancer, why did you lie to those men?" The father reply's "Aye, my son, you are right; but I know those guys, and I don't want any of those guys getting close to your mom when I'm gone. I KNOW her rolling pin swing and know she would wind up in jail over it, and then you, poor lad, would be all alone on this sad old world." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrew Willson, 48 Bacup, Lancs, England Drama teacher jailed for smearing naked 14 year old teen girl with Nutella during sex romps Andrew Willson had the youngster pulled out of a science lesson so they could romp at a pal's house. He made sure she was returned to the school in time to catch the bus home so her parents remained unaware, Burnley Crown Court was told. Willson even befriended the girl's parents over a mutual love of Leeds United FC. The teacher, from Bacup, Lancs, kissed and groped the girl after her family had visited him and his wife at their new home on their way to a match. Emma Kehoe, prosecuting, said the pair then had full sex for the first time. Willson, 48, was jailed for 20 months after admitting five charges of indecent assault from the mid-90s. Ms Kehoe said Willson was a "trendy, young teacher" who was popular with a number of students but especially girls. The victim shone at drama and was cast in lead roles by the teacher. That involved her spending a lot of time in his company both inside and away from school. He first kissed her and rubbed her over her clothing in a school office. Ms Kehoe said: "As soon as any contact between them began she felt butterflies in her stomach. "She was happy and loving the attention. "She does not say anywhere that she was not fully co-operating with what she saw as a relationship with her teacher." The pair smeared Nutella on each other’s naked bodies then licked off the chocolate spread. Ms Kehoe added the pair spent much of the day naked as they moved around the house. "The two of them had Nutella and the licked it from their naked bodies," she said. Willson would later kiss her while giving her a lift home and twice involved the girl in carrying out a sex act on him. Judge Jonathan Gibson said Willson had to go to jail for breaching the trust of a "pupil-teacher relationship". ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: June Re: What is a bat file? Dear Webby You mentioned "bat file" in your response about copying files to a back-up drive. I have heard them mentioned lots of times but never dared to ask for fear of appearing stupid. Can you finally fill me in ? June Dear June Bat files are simple text files that hold a BATch of commands. They are used for commands that are done the same way again and again. For example, if you always copy an accounting spreadsheet like C :\ProgramFiles\Excel\Data\Accounting\Business\2002\Incoming\Checks-US.xls to E :\Archive\Accounting\Business\2002\Incoming\Checks-US.xls then that takes quite a bit of mousing around, and it's not even a verified copy. To get a verified copy you could type at the command line copy sourcefile destinationfile /v (for source file and destination file you just fill in the actual full filenames with their path like I have them above there) Typing that at the command line is a bit tedious too, and prone to error. If you type that command into a text file, and save that text file with a .bat extension, then you can make an icon for it. By clicking on that icon that command is executed. You can put as many commands as you want into that bat file, one command per line. In the days before Windows we used to do very complicated tasks with just bat files that sometimes were many hundreds of lines long. At the end of the bat file put the word PAUSE and an empty line after that. That shows you what has been done and asks you to press any key. A key press then closes that window. COPY is not the only command that you can use. There are hundreds more. Another handy and easy one is DEL If you delete the temp files and cookies at the end of the shift, the DEL command will take care of them instantly. To avoid having each command echoed onto the little window that opens, you can put the line @echo off onto the first line. After that, if you do want a message to appear, put echo in front of the message like this: echo Copying to archive drive finished If you have to copy 37 files to 37 different places and delete 7 files, you simply put the commands for all that into a text file and save that as "shift-end.bat" Then make a desktop shortcut to that shift-end.bat. Whenever you click on that shortcut icon, all that work gets done at maximum speed without any mousing around. When it is done, you hit any key and the bat window closes. Of course, instead of "Shift-End.bat", you can use any name you want. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ My Mother taught me STYLE ... "If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com St. Patrick's Day Sherbet Float By lalala... [732 Posts, 97 Comments] Steps: Put two scoops of sherbet into a glass. add sherbet 2 Add the lemon-lime soda. Top with whipped cream and sprinkles. Finish it off with a rainbow candy. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" ___________________________________________________
footage when squirrel steals camera
____________________________________________________ Here is one that I re-wrote and shortened to this form a few years ago and that came back today: A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go fix them a couple drinks. As he's standing there he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beat red and says, "Gee, oh...I'm sorry...I..." She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray." ____________________________________________________ Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! --------- A family reunion is an effective form of birth control. ____________________________________________________
They turned this old water tower into a thing of beauty.

Today on February 26


2016  smiled.


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Possibly legit telemarketers 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, February 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Ontario teacher, freed on bail, faces 36 sex charges involving minors. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in 1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. History ______________________________________________________ You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. --- Cecil Baxter Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. There is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old already in the cell. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
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______________________________________________________ Topfive.com's Number 1 Reason More Americans are Having Nervous Breakdowns... " 1> Because the heightened levels of adrenal secretion caused by environmen-- HEY!!! Friggin' AOL disconnected me again!! " ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jaclyn Lindsay McLaren, also known as Jaclyn (Jackie) Jones, 36, Stirling, Ontario Ontario teacher freed on bail, faces 36 sex charges involving minors. A local elementary school teacher has been released from custody after being charged with 36 counts of sex crimes involving four minors. Jaclyn Lindsay McLaren, who is also known as Jaclyn (Jackie) Jones, 36, of Stirling, is free on a $100,000 bond. She appeared in a bail hearing Friday in Belleville court. Ontario Provincial Police confirmed the woman is employed as a teacher with the Belleville-based Hastings and Prince Edward District School Board. A ban on publication has been ordered to protect the identities of the complainants, four boys who were believed to have been students at the time of the alleged incidents. None of the allegations have been proven in court, nor, said the defence lawyer for the accused, has full disclosure of all information in the Crown's case been made to the accused and her lawyer. Ontario Provincial Police investigator Sgt. Peter Leon said the charges now involve four young people ages 12 to 15 and date from 2013 to 2016. Investigators say the incidents occurred in Tweed. Sources say it is believed the alleged incidents occurred when McLaren/Jones was a French teacher in Tweed. Sources also said she had been transferred out of that school in recent months, however. McLaren/Jones is charged with eight counts of sexual exploitation, six counts of luring a person younger than 16 and six counts of making sexually explicit material available to a person under 16. McLaren/Jones is charged with three counts of making child pornography and one count of making sexually explicit material available to children. She’s also charged with with four counts each of sexual assault on a person younger than 16, sexual interference with a person younger than 16 and making an invitation to sexual touching involving a person younger than 16. Police began investigating McLaren/Jones on Sunday Feb. 14. On Monday, Feb 15, they charged the teacher and she was held in custody until her release Friday in Belleville court. It is reported McLaren/Jones has been removed from her teaching position, but it is unclear if she is on paid leave while the matters are before the court. Represented by Belleville defence lawyer Pieter Kort, McLaren/Jones was released from custody into the care of her parents by Justice of the Peace Sam Cureatz. Cureatz ordered her not to have any contact with the four minors involved as complainants in the case or with any boy younger than 18. She must avoid public places where minors may gather and has been ordered not to possess a cell phone. Computers in her parents’ home were to be removed and McLaren/Jones is also banned from possessing weapons. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen B. Re: Possibly legit telemarketers Dear Webby A while ago you had some great advice about dealing with telemarketers. That works just fine and is a lot of fun with regular telemarketers. However, we also get calls from sales people from companies that we DO regularly buy supplies from. Naturally, if their salesmen call during busy times and try to practise their sales pitch on my receptionist, she follows your advice and either sends them to the rejection line or asks them if they like goats. She is a very sweet and otherwise very proper lady in her mid sixties and I almost wet my pants the first time I heard her do that. The problem is that some of our suppliers don't have a sense of humor and get into a snit about it. What solution have you got for salesmen of potentially legitimate suppliers who simply call at a too busy time? Thanks Helen B Dear Helen Your receptionist can simply tell them to send you an email. The flakey telemarketers don't have email, and the others you can weed out a lot faster than phone answering machine messages. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry i can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured i want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups By attosa [181 Posts, 440 Comments] Making homemade fruit roll ups is one of the ways I like to use up apples that have gotten a bit soft. Making this cinnamon apple takes only a few ingredients, but technically, you could just use just apples for a super healthy plain one. Approximate Time: 3 hours Yield: 4 fruit roll ups Ingredients: 2 medium apples (I used 1 Gala and 1 Red Delicious) 1/4 cup water 1 Tbsp sugar 1 tsp cinnamon Steps: Preheat oven to 175 F. Peel and chop apples. Place them in a pot with water and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook for 10 minutes until they're soft. Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups Add sugar and cinnamon. Give it a mashing, and cook another couple minutes. Cinnamon Apple Fruit Roll-Ups Place this mixture into a blender and process until smooth. Pour onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (or a Silpat). Spread into a nice, even thin layer. Bake for 2 to 3 hours. It's ready when you touch it and it doesn't stick to your fingers. Let cool and cut into strips. They will easily peel off the parchment paper. I don't peel apples, ever! That's where the healthy stuff is. I just core them and then use a blender to purree the stuff. Because I am a diabetic, I don't use sugar. A very ripe pear sweetens it quite nicely. Once in a while, to get an interesting change, I toss in Anis seed or ground cloves. And I skip the water, since it just gets boiled away anyway. With a good blender, that has a "purree" setting,there is no need for water. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A lady was shopping for a turkey in a grocery store and after pawing through the freezer section and growing dissatisfied with the small ones that were left, she turned to the stock boy and asked snippily, "Don't these turkeys get any bigger?" To which he calmly replied, "No maam. They're dead!" ___________________________________________________
When the Roses Bloom Again - Wilco
____________________________________________________ "Earl says he used to yearn for a pretty women .....now the "Y" is silent" ____________________________________________________ As a token of appreciation for their excellent work Gary and Bill got invited to a convention in New York City. There they were wined and dined by the top brass. When they finally staggered out into fresh air, Bill crossed the street, while Gary stumbled into a subway entrance. When Bill reached the other side, he noticed Gary emerging from the subway stairs. "Where've you been?" Bill slurred. "I don't know," replied Gary, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement." ____________________________________________________
Unlikely Friends

Today on February 25
1570 England's Queen Elizabeth I was excommunicated by Pope Pius V.
1751 Edward Willet displayed the first trained monkey act 
 in the U.S. 
1836 Samuel Colt received U.S. Patent No. 138 (later 9430X) 
 for a "revolving-cylinder pistol." It was his first patent. 
1837 Thomas Davenport patented the first commercial electrical 
 motor. There was no practical electical distribution system 
 available and Davenport went bankrupt. 
1901 The United States Steel Corp. was incorporated by J.P. Morgan. 
1913 The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. 
 It authorized a graduated (Marxist) income tax. 
1919 The state of Oregon became the first state to place a tax 
 on gasoline. The tax was 1 cent per gallon. 
1930 The bank check photographing device was patented. 
1933 The aircraft carrier Ranger was launched. It was the first 
 ship in the U.S. Navy to be designed and built from the keel 
 up as an aircraft carrier. 
1940 The New York Rangers and the Montreal Canadiens played in 
 the first hockey game to be televised in the U.S. The game 
 was aired on W2WBS in New York with one camera in a fixed 
 position. The Rangers beat the Canadiens 6-2. 
1948 Communists seized power in Czechoslovakia. 
1956 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev criticized the late 
 Josef Stalin in a speech before a Communist Party congress 
 in Moscow. 
1972 Germany gave a $5 million ransom to Arab terrorist who 
 had hijacked a jumbo jet. 
1986 Filippino President Ferdinand E. Marcos fled the 
 Philippines after 20 years of rule after a tainted election. 
1999 William King was sentenced to death for the racial murder 
 of James Byrd Jr in Jasper, TX. Two other men charged were 
 later convicted for their involvement. 
2000 In Albany, NY, a jury acquitted four New York City 
 police officers of second-degree murder and lesser charges 
 in the February 1999 shooting death of Amadou Diallo. 
2005 Dennis Rader was arrested for the BTK serial killings 
 in Wichita, KS. He later pleaded guilty and was sentenced 
 to 10 life prison terms.
2016  smiled.


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Priotities when buying a computer on a budget 



Good Morning, ,

Today is WWednesday, February 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Ohio woman, who did not get a Valentines day gift from her husband. So she ttook a bat and beat him unconcious. Kept beating him until he regained conciousness.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 24, in 1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. History ______________________________________________________ Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his. --- Franklin P. Jones The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This couple were dining out when the wife noticed her ex-husband at the bar. "Honey," she said as she pointed the guy out, "that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "Wow!", George exclaimed, "Seven years ! That's quite some celebration !" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Artur absolutely hated his wife Susan's dog decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the dog was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the dog 40 blocks away and the same again. Driving back up his driveway, there was the dog! He kept taking the dog further and further and the darn dog would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the dog there. Hours later, the Artur called home to Susan: "Susan, is the dog there?" "Yes", the Susan answered..."why do you ask?" Frustrated, Artur answered: "Send him to fetch me. I'm lost and need directions!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kimberly Hammond, 48, Parkersburg, Washington County, Ohio Ohio woman did not get a Valentines day gift from her husband. So she ttook a bat and beat him unconcious. Kept beating him until he regained conciousness. An Ohio woman assaulted her husband during an argument because he did not buy her a Valentine’s Day gift, deputies told WTAP. Washington County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to a home just outside Parkersburg, Ohio around 11 a.m. Sunday and found a man with several injuries. The man told deputies his wife, Kimberly Hammond, 46, had been drinking and began to hit and scratch his face during a verbal altercation. She then allegedly grabbed a mini baseball bat and struck him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. Hammond continued to attack her husband as he regained consciousness, according to deputies. According to deputies, Hammond said she was upset because her husband did not buy her a gift on Valentine’s Day. Hammond admitted to drinking and blew a .221 during a breathalyzer test. She was arrested for felonious assault and domestic violence, according to deputies. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harvey W. Re: Priority on new computer Dear Webby We are going to take the plunge and buy a computer. We have been using our daughter's, but she and her hubby are moving out to a place of their own. Unfortunately we can't afford a fully decked out dream machine and have to cut corners on something. Which corner should we cut short, and which item should get priority? Harvey Dear Harvey Priority is the monitor. You can always get more RAM or a faster processor, but you can't get new eyes. Even a big, beautiful 24 inch screen costs less than a new pair of glasses. If computer dealers had the same mark-ups as Optometrists, a monitor would cost more than a car. Second highest priority, after you have chosen the biggest and sharpest monitor, is RAM. Get as much as you can. Hard drive and processor speed are irrelevant for casual home use. They only count when the kids brag on the school bus. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Keli: Mary, what exactly is an "oxymoron"? Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like "deafening silence." Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Baked Salmon Cakes By Judy Pariser S. 91 76 These salmon cakes are baked in muffin tins. They are moist, tasty and healthy. They freeze well for future meals, and go great in lunch boxes. Approximate Time: 30 minutes Yield: 8-10 salmon cakes Ingredients: 1 can (14 3/4 oz) salmon, drained with skin and bones removed 1 1/2 cup soft whole wheat bread crumbs (I used the heel and one slice of bread) 1/2 cup sweet red pepper, chopped fine 1/2 cup egg substitute (I used 2 eggs) 3 green onions, thinly sliced (I used 1/2 an onion, finely chopped) 1/4 cup celery, chopped fine 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, minced (I used a small amount of dried) 3 Tbsp mayonnaise 1 Tbsp lemon juice 1 garlic clove, minced a few dashes hot pepper sauce, more if desired Sauce 2 Tbsp mayonnaise 1/4 tsp capers, drained 1/4 tsp dried dill weed a dash of lemon juice Steps: In a large bowl combine the first 11 ingredients. Spray muffin tins with cooking spray. Use 1/3 cup salmon mixture for each muffin tin. (The recipe says 8, but I filled 10 muffin tins). Put water in any unfilled tins. Bake at 425°F for 10-15 minutes, or until a thermometer reads 160°F. While the cakes are baking, combine the sauce ingredients in a small bowl. Serve the cakes with some sauce on the top. Nutritional Facts: 2 salmon cakes with 1 1/2 teaspoons of sauce = 266 calories, 9 g fat (2 g saturated fat), 48 mg cholesterol, 914 mg sodium, 17 g carbs, 3 g fiber, 28 g protein. Source: Taste of Home newsletter You can use that recipe also with canned tuna. Rinse it well with lemon water. And modify the recipe slightly by adding very finely chopped onion. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Bobbie went to a church conference with his parents.. He got restless, so his mother dug into her voluminous purse and found him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the preacher said the word "and." After a while, he grew bored, and she asked, "Do you want to listen for a different word?" "Yes," he said, none too quietly, "I want to hear 'AMEN!!!'." ___________________________________________________
Expand your Key Fob range - Interesting experiment
____________________________________________________ Scott and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. They each found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Scott. "I was a bit puzzled at first, but then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," said Pete, "but I wrote down Horticulturist." ____________________________________________________ Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made. The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Alabama town: "PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST." ____________________________________________________
Sink holes are appearing all over the world and no one knows why or what to do.

Today on February 23
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded 
 in Waltham, MA. 
1820 The Cato Street conspiracy was uncovered. 
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista 
 in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary. 
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union. 
1874 Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike." 
 More widely known as lawn tennis. 
1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 
1883 Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an 
 antitrust law. 
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 
 It had been produced before in France, but not in large 
 quantities.
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake 
 that killed about 2,000. 
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 
1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, 
 "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism 
 and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 
1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa 
 between the Boers and the British army. 
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for 
 $10 million. 
1910 In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 
1916 The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial 
 $1 gold coin. 
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini. 
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, 
 hours of operation and power allocations for radio 
 broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the 
 Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 
1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial 
 battle with the Japanese.
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 
1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the U.S. 
 Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph of 
 these Marines raising the American flag was taken. 
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio 
 began in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1958 Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped 
 by Cuban rebels. 
1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military coup. 
1970 Guyana became a republic. 
1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more for 
 the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on 
 February 4th. 
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new 
 parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken 
 on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the 
 border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than four 
 days later the war was over due to the surrender or withdraw of 
 Iraqi forces. 
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents. 
1997 NBC-TV aired "Schindler's List." It was completely 
 uncensored. 
1997 Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire 
 on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire 
 State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more 
 before killing himself. 
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged 
 and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 
1999 In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with treason. 
 The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for the 
 Kurdish rebel leader. 
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of 
 kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged 
 behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 
 200 feet over an oncoming train. 
2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced 
 that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of 
 the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 
 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people 
 had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified.
2016  smiled.


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Professional size hard drive 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, February 23

Yes, I know that you can NOT vote  for "Daily Thrifty Fun" 
or ANY of the newsletters. 

Voting at the Ezinefinder does not work.
They are stuck in 2014, and nobody  there at Ezinefinder 
is competent enough to switch it to 2016.
I don't know what happened to Lewis.

They are NOT on any Webby server, they are on some Apple 
or Mac on the Westcoast, and there is nothing I can do 
about it. They are too snooty to answer me. 

You can try writing to them and see if you get a response.

support@cumuli.com
support@cumuli.com
thrifty@thriftyfun.com
lewis@cumuli.com
support@thriftyfun.com

Good Luck!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh teacher, whose 14 year old sex partner had naked pictures of her all over his phone.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 23, in 1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. History ______________________________________________________ Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from. --- Jodie Foster (1962 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Road signs are a real indication of what an area is like. Here in Virginia we have signs saying "Deer Crossing". At Yellowstone you have signs saying "Bear Crossing". In Africa you have signs saying "Elephant Crossing". And in Washington you have signs saying "Double Crossing". ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy. ______________________________________________________ El Chalten Fitzroy Argentina From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stacy Lynn Hooks, 38, Sebring, Floriduh. Floriduh teacher, whose 14 year old se partner had naked pictures of her all over his phone. A Florida middle school teacher had sex five times with a 14-year-old boy she taught and appeared naked in photos on his cell phone, police said Friday. Stacy Lynn Hooks, 38, admitted she had intercourse with her student three times and engaged in oral sex twice in their five encounters, according to a police report cited by Highlands Today. Investigators said they discovered two nude pictures of her and a collage of her butt on the boy’s phone. Hooks was arrested Thursday and charged with lewd battery, electronic 6transmission of material harmful to a minor and travelling to meet a minor to engage in unlawful sexual conduct. Hooks is a 15-year veteran elementary and middle school teacher from Sebring, which is about 85 miles southeast of Tampa. She has taught since 2012 at Hill-Gustat Middle School, where the website lists her as a science teacher. Officials with the School Board of Highlands County placed her on administrative leave ahead of a Tuesday vote on whether to suspend her without pay and an investigation that could lead to her firing, the local newspaper reported. Investigators with the Highlands County Sheriff’s Office received word Monday of inappropriate contact between her and a middle school student. Deputies said she revealed in an interview Thursday that the pair struck up a relationship in May 2015 and last had sex Feb. 5. Hooks was incarcerated on a $625,000 bond after her arrest. $625,000 bond for a teacher! That is a jail sentence without court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Birga Re: Professional size hard drive Dear Webby what do they mean with 'professional size hard drive' ? Is that a really huge harddrive? Birga Dear Birga No, quite the opposite. Beginners clutter up their hard drives with all kinds of stuff that they some day want to try. For that they need huge drives. Since beginners usually don't back up, defrag or scan anyway, big drives are OK for them. Professionals keep their drives clean and lean so that they can back up quickly, and so that they can defrag or scan during a coffee break. For that reason pros usually try to get the smallest and fastest drives they can for their working machines. For back-up purposes size is not critical. What is important there is that the back-up drive is either a removable or a portable drive so that it can be stored at a different location that would not be affected if there is a burglary, fire or other disaster at the location of the working machine. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change some- thing on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Rep told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens or the crystal or... The bride said, "No, no, keep all the important stuff the same. I just want to change the name of the groom." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Vegetables in Hanging Baskets By EllenB 799 1 Many veggies can be grown in hanging baskets. Some people like to refer to this as "minigardening". The best candidates are vegetables with compact or sprawling growth habits like squash, mini peppers, tomatoes, eggplants, runner or pole beans, peas, and cucumbers. Mini, compact, or dwarf varieties tend to work best because the fruits are smaller (and lighter) and less apt to grow too heavy for the plant. You can certainly use up your "full-sized" seeds; just expect to see diminished returns in fruit size and overall production. Strawberries, assorted greens, and a variety of herbs can also be grown successfully in hanging baskets. Alone or mixed in with a few edible flowers (like nasturtiums), a hanging basket full of cascading vegetables is both colorful and practical. Here are a few tips to keep in mind: Make sure your basket is large enough to accommodate the roots of whatever type of vegetable you decide to grow. Use the deepest, widest baskets you can and fill them with a lightweight potting mix (regular garden soil will be too heavy). Use a soil retention product and solid-style baskets to help prevent the soil from drying out too quickly. Check moisture levels daily-twice a day during extreme heat. Fertilize veggies regularly using a slow release organic fertilizer or compost tea. Baskets should hang in a location that receives at least 6 hours of sun per day. Give baskets a quarter to a half turn once each week to encourage even growth. Avoid hanging your baskets too high. Remember you will need to access them daily. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political election. "More on candidates at 10 P.M.," he said. Bill's ten-year-old son looked at me in disbelief. "I didn't know they could call politicians 'morons' on national television!" he said. ___________________________________________________
Expand your Key Fob range - Interesting experiment
____________________________________________________ Driving to a new restaurant, Judy took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?" "I thought you knew where you were going," he replied. "You always know where we're going when I'm driving." ____________________________________________________ Although born to a Catholic family, Chester had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal conversion process. He studied Judaism all semester. Finally, he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the conversion. On the appointed day, he arrived at the Rabbi's office, ready to begin. The Rabbi said, "I'm sorry, but before I give you the test, I must discuss my fee, It's $5,000." "$5,000!" exclaimed Chester, "That's a lot of money. How about $500?" "Congratulations, you pass." said the Rabbi. ____________________________________________________
It's a woollies roundup. I love watching Border Collies work sheep.

Today on February 23
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots. 
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden. 
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded 
 in Waltham, MA. 
1820 The Cato Street conspiracy was uncovered. 
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began. 
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista 
 in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary. 
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union. 
1874 Walter Winfield patented a game called "sphairistike." 
 More widely known as lawn tennis. 
1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria). 
1883 Alabama became the first U.S. state to enact an 
 antitrust law. 
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum. 
 It had been produced before in France, but not in large 
 quantities.
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake 
 that killed about 2,000. 
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield. 
1898 In France, Emile Zola was imprisoned for his letter, 
 "J'accuse," which accused the government of anti-Semitism 
 and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus. 
1900 The Battle of Hart's Hill took place in South Africa 
 between the Boers and the British army. 
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone for 
 $10 million. 
1910 In Philadelphia, PA, the first radio contest was held. 
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law. 
1916 The U.S. Congress authorizes the McKinley Memorial 
 $1 gold coin. 
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini. 
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies, 
 hours of operation and power allocations for radio 
 broadcasters. On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the 
 Federal Communications Commission (FCC). 
1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial 
 battle with the Japanese.
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island. 
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released. 
1945 The 28th Regiment of the Fifth Marine Division of the U.S. 
 Marines reached the top of Mount Surabachi. A photograph of 
 these Marines raising the American flag was taken. 
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio 
 began in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1958 Juan Fangio, 5-time world diving champion, was kidnapped 
 by Cuban rebels. 
1966 The Bitar government in Syria was ended with a military coup. 
1970 Guyana became a republic. 
1974 The Symbionese Liberation Army demanded $4 million more for 
 the release of Patty Hearst. Hearst had been kidnapped on 
 February 4th. 
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new 
 parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages taken 
 on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the 
 border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less than four 
 days later the war was over due to the surrender or withdraw of 
 Iraqi forces. 
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents. 
1997 NBC-TV aired "Schindler's List." It was completely 
 uncensored. 
1997 Ali Hassan Abu Kamal, a Palestinian teacher, opened fire 
 on the 86th-floor observation deck of New York City's Empire 
 State Building. He killed one person and wounded six more 
 before killing himself. 
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged 
 and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses. 
1999 In Ankara, Turkey, Abdullah Ocalan was charged with treason. 
 The prosecutors were seeking the death penalty for the 
 Kurdish rebel leader. 
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of 
 kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged 
 behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas. 
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 
 200 feet over an oncoming train. 
2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced 
 that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains of 
 the people killed at the World Trade Center on September 11, 
 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. About 1,600 people 
 had been identified leaving more than 1,100 unidentified.
2016  smiled.


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Camera for keeps 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, February 22
The full moon sure is big and bright. My evening walk was
quite enjoyable.

If you want a whole bunch of keyboard shortcuts, go to
http://www.ba-bamail.com/content.aspx?emailid=19537

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Amanda Nicole Savage and husband Gary Lee Savage, leave 5 year old in frozen car as they go shoplifting at Priscilla’s Lingerie Store in Myrtle Beach, S.C.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 22, in 1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists at their first Thanksgiving dinner. History ______________________________________________________ The shortest distance between two points is under construction. --- Noelie Altito ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A hunting guide got himself into a bit of a fix. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. "You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!" they asserted. "I am," he said, "but I think we're in Wyoming now." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Two-year-old Paige was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!" ______________________________________________________ Summer In Australia, from FB. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Nicole Savage, 24, Gary Lee Savage, 26, Elberton, Georgia. Amanda Nicole Savage and husband Gary Lee Savage, leave 5 year old in frozen car as they go shoplifting at Priscilla’s Lingerie Store in Myrtle Beach, S.C. Two cold-hearted parents left their 5-year-old child in a frigid car when they tried to heat up their Valentine's Day by stealing sex toys, police said. Amanda Nicole Savage, 24, and Gary Lee Savage, 26, got caught lifting toys and lubricants from Priscilla’s Lingerie Store in Myrtle Beach, S.C., on Sunday night, according to an arrest report cited by WBTW-TV. Police officers who cuffed the Elberton, Ga., couple around 11 p.m. Sunday found the kid locked in their car in 36-degree weather, the court documents showed. They now face shoplifting and child cruelty charges. Myrtle Beach police said staff told them the child languished in the car “for a while” as the husband and wife browsed around the Kings Highway shop. A sensor alarm went off when they tried to leave, according to cops. Police said they couldn’t find any guests matching the couple's names at a hotel where they claimed they were staying, and the car looked like the family was living in it. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Camera for keeps Dear Webby I need a digital camera, but a decent one this time. I have tried those $69 cameras that are advertised in spam as being crystal clear and razor sharp. Total waste of money. Now I am willing to spend some real money and get a camera that will do me for many years and that is good enough to make it worth while making an effort to get good at using it. What should I get and why? Chris Dear Chris First decide which color scheme you prefer. Get a disposable Kodak and a disposable Fuji. Tale the same pictures with both cameras. When they have been printed, you will notice that the Kodak prints are a warmer tint, and the Fuji are a colder, more greenish tint. I am by no means saying that one color rendition is better than the other. YOU have to decide which rendition looks better in YOUR eyes. If you prefer the Kodak type, get a Canon or Kodak camera. If you prefer the Fuji rendition, get a Nikon or Fuji. Once you have decided on which side of the isle to shop, get the best, that you can afford on THAT side of the isle. If you shop on the wrong side of the isle, you simply won't be happy, no matter how good the camera is. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Q:What does Thor, the god of Thunder, wear under his armor? A:Thunderwear ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottles for Storing Flower Seeds By Diane W. 4 2 I love to collect flower seeds from my own flowers to plant the next season or to share with others. I also like to collect from other places, but often found myself using napkins, or scrap paper as an impromptu container. Then it hit me! I started saving prescription bottles and added labels to them to use as collection containers! I keep a few in my car, large purse, and of course at home. Now I'm ready when I'm out and about where I can collect seeds! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Norman and his wife Marina live in Michigan. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the EVEN numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and with much huffing and puffing moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the ODD numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week, again during breakfast, the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...........", then the electric power goes out. Marina says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time? Until you get your drivers license back, I am not going to buy you any gas anyway." ___________________________________________________
people are awesome at their jobs
____________________________________________________ Henry Kissinger goes to see a poor man and says, "I want to arrange a marriage for your son. "The poor man replies, "I never interfere in my son's life." Kissinger responds, "But the girl is Lord Rothscild's daughter." "Well, in that case..." Next Kissinger approaches Lord Rothschild. "I have a husband for your daughter." "But my daughter is too young to marry." "But this young man is already a vice president of the World Bank." "Ah, in that case..." Finally Kissinger goes to see the president of the World Bank. "I have a young man to recommend to you as a vice president." "But I already have more vice presidents than I need." "But this young man is Lord Rothschild's son-in-law." "Ah, in that case...." ____________________________________________________ On her birthday Karen announced to the whole family: "From now on, starting tomorrow, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV." True to her word, promptly the next morning she moved the TV into her bedroom. ____________________________________________________
I never knew these horses existed!

Today on February 22
1630 Quadequine introduced popcorn to English colonists 
 at their first Thanksgiving dinner. 
1784 "Empress of China", a U.S. merchant ship, left New 
 York City for the Far East. 
1819 Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 
1860 Organized baseball’s first game was played in San 
 Francisco, CA. 
1865 In the U.S., Tennessee adopted a new constitution 
 that abolished slavery. 
1879 In Utica, NY, Frank W. Woolworth opened his first 
 5 and 10-cent store. 
1920 The first dog race track to use an imitation rabbit 
 opened in Emeryville, CA. 
1923 The first successful chinchilla farm opened in Los 
 Angeles, CA. It was the first farm of its kind in the U.S. 
1973 The U.S. and Communist China agreed to establish 
 liaison offices. 
1984 The U.S. Census Bureau statistics showed that the state 
 of Alaska was the fastest growing state of the decade with 
 an increase in population of 19.2 percent. 
1997 Scottish scientist Ian Wilmut and colleagues announced 
 that an adult sheep had been successfully cloned. Dolly was 
 actually born on July 5, 1996. Dolly was the first mammal 
 to have been successfully cloned from an adult cell. 
2002 In the Philippines, An MH-47E Chinook helicopter crashed 
 into the ocean. All 10 men aboard were killed. 
2010 A copy of "Action Comics #1" sold at auction for $1 million. 
 The comic featured the introduction of Superman. 
2010 Walmart announced it was acquiring the video streaming 
 company Vudu, Inc. 
2016  smiled.


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How to show a Web address into an email 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, February 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Drunk PA woman tried to take down a bouncer and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, police officers with her best wrestling moves and football tackles. She also punched a cop in the face.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 21, in 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, causing even more killing than Mohammed did. History ______________________________________________________ The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. --- Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - 2011) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After much urging by his wife, Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket. An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other. "Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ Before Bill's daughter went off to college, he took her on a vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car. They visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, he noticed it swaying in the wind. Then a car went past them, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath their feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," he finally said. "What are you worried about?" his daughter replied. "It's a rental." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christi Howell a Casey Shackleford Kaufman County, Texas Texas mother, boyfriend charged with waterboarding her 13-year-old son and tying rope around his genitals A Texas mother and her boyfriend are accused of waterboarding her 13-year-old son and tying a rope around his genitals. Christi Howell poured water over the boy's mouth and nose while Casey Shackleford held a towel over his face, Kaufman County investigators charge in an affidavit. The boy told investigators he was punished for admitting he touched the family dog in an inappropriate way. Shackleford, while trying to get an explanation, would slap the boy in the face if he broke eye contact, according to WFAA. Shackleford ordered Howell to get a "pig rope" and tie it to the boy's "private parts," according to the station. Howell "pulled on the rope as if she was trying to pull him around and off the couch," according to a warrant obtained by the station. Shackleford then commanded Howell to tie the rope around the boy's neck while it was still connected to his genitals, WFAA reported. Shackleford pushed him onto the couch, causing him pull the rope tighter, according to the report. The rope was tied to his genitals for "five to ten minutes," according to the station. The boy suffered cuts and burns from the rope. Christi Howell and Casey Shackleford are facing charges of felony injury to a child. The teen also said he had been been previously punished by Howell for not doing push-ups correctly. Howell "would hit him 20 to 30 times in the back, butt, and elbows with a stick," according to the station. Howell admitted she tied the rope around the teen, but said her beau "came up with the idea and told her to do it," according to the station. She also admitted she waterboarded her son. Waterboarding is a controversial interrogation technique that was banned by the U.S. in questioning terror suspects. Both Howell and Shackleford are facing charges of felony injury to a child. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Trudy Re: Web address into an email Dear Webby How do I put a web address into an email so that the people who get it can click on it to jump to that web site? Trudy Most readers will be able to use it as a link if you just copy the web address from the browser location field and paste it like this: http://webby.com/humor/ For AOLers and a few others you have to use this form: Click here Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Bob has an inferiority complex. However, according to him, it's not a very good one. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottles for Storing Flower Seeds By Diane W. 4 2 I love to collect flower seeds from my own flowers to plant the next season or to share with others. I also like to collect from other places, but often found myself using napkins, or scrap paper as an impromptu container. Then it hit me! I started saving prescription bottles and added labels to them to use as collection containers! I keep a few in my car, large purse, and of course at home. Now I'm ready when I'm out and about where I can collect seeds! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Police was dispatched to an Ohio college campus this week to break up a fight involving two group of students, about 35 students total were involved. A group of black students saw what they thought were members of the KKK white supremacist organization parading around the campus. They took offense and proceeded to yell and throw empty bottles at them. A fight followed. It turned out that they were members of a campus fraternity that were going to a Halloween party dressed as the Pope and his entourage of Cardinals... That'll teach people about wearing "evil" costumes! ___________________________________________________
Throw and Shoot Camera
____________________________________________________ A man walks up the counter and says, "I'll have 2 pounds of Tofu." The man at the counter says, "Oh, you must be from California." The man responds, "How stereotypical! If I had ordered Pepperoni would you think I was Italian?" "No." answers the man at the counter. And besides, pepperoni is more Sicilian than Italian. "If I had ordered Wienerschnitzel would you have thought I was German," he asks. "No." says the man behind the counter, "and besides, Wiener Schnitzel are from Wien, the capital of Austria." "Then why," he asks, "would you think I was from California???" The man looks up from the counter and says, "'Cause you're in a hardware store." ____________________________________________________ A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The women just won't leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." And so on. After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who's driving this car anyway? You or your mother?" ____________________________________________________
I never knew these horses existed!

Today on February 21
1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was 
 demonstrated in Wales. 
1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 
1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx 
 and Friedrich Engels. 
1858 The first electric burglar alarm was installed in 
 Boston, MA. 
1878 The first telephone directories issued in the U.S. 
 were distributed to residents in New Haven, CT. It was 
 a single page of only fifty names. 
1916 During World War I, the Battle of Verdun began in 
 France. The battle ended on December 18, 1916 with an 
 Allied victory over Germany. 
932 William N. Goodwin patented the camera exposure meter. 
1947 Edwin Land demonstrated the Polaroid Land Camera to 
 the Optical Society of America in New York City. It was 
 the first camera to take, develop and print a picture on 
 photo paper all in about 60 seconds. The photos were black 
 and white. The camera went on sale the following year. 
1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age 
 of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. 
1973 Israeli fighter planes shot down a Libyan Airlines 
 jet over the Sinai Desert. More than 100 people were killed. 
1988 In Baton Rouge, LA, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart 
 confessed to his congregation that he was guilty of an 
 unspecified sin. He announced that he was leaving the pulpit 
 temporarily. Swaggart had been linked to an admitted 
 prostitute. 
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah Khomeini's 
 death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie 
 "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized behavior." 
1995 Chicago stockbroker Steve Fossett became the first person 
 to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon. He landed 
 in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada. 
2003 David Hasselhoff and his wife Pamela were injured in a 
 motorcycle accident. The accident was caused by a strong gust 
 of wind. Hasselhoff fractured his lower back and broke several 
 ribs. His wife fractured her left ankle and right wrist. 
2016  smiled.


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Make a CD unusable, but keep the print side undisturbed 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, February 20

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Drunk PA woman tried to take down a bouncer and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, police officers with her best wrestling moves and football tackles. She also punched a cop in the face.
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 18, in 1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London. History ______________________________________________________ We always like those who admire us; we do not always like those whom we admire. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ By chance, John Smith witnessed a mugging. About an hour later, the cops arrived, and the officer in charge asked the witness his name. "John Smith," said Smith. "Cut the funny business," the cop barked sharply. "What's your real name?" "All right," said Smith, "put me down as Albert Einstein." "That's more like it," said the man in blue. "You can't fool ME with that Smith stuff." ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ At the company water cooler, the office braggart was boring his fellow workers as usual. His topic of the day was about his children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another working in southern Italy. Then he told everyone that his daughter was working on a year's research project in India. "What is it about you," a co-worker finally asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away from you ?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Danae Blaze, 26, South Side, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Drunk PA woman tried to take down a bouncer and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, police officers with her best wrestling moves and football tackles. She also punched a cop in the face. This took place at Mario's on the South Side. A Washington County woman was arrested for allegedly assaulting a club bouncer and Pittsburgh Police officers. According to police, Danae Blaze, 26, initially tried to cut in line to get into Mario’s on the South Side late Saturday night. The bouncer saw her and told her to go to the back of the line. When she said no, the bouncer realized that she was too drunk to enter the establishment at all. At that time, Blaze said she was NOT going to leave. According to the criminal complaint, the woman got into a three-point stance like a football player and charged the bouncer with a shoulder block. When that didn’t work, she grabbed his legs and tried to execute a wrestling takedown. The bouncer blocked her, the two started to wrestle and he shoved her from the front door. Blaze reportedly fell at the feet of two Pittsburgh Police officers, who were on-duty outside of the East Carson Street bar. The officers asked her for her identification, which she refused. Police say when they tried to get her to stop, she punched one of them in the face. Police were able to arrest her, but she reportedly kicked, hit and screamed the whole way into the police vehicle. She was taken to the Allegheny County Jail, where she got numerous charges including five felony counts of assault. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Harold K Re: Wipe CDs Dear Webby We have to keep the old CD's of some software to prove we didn't skip any upgrades or use pirated copies. Unfortunately it isn't very stable and needs to be re-installed now and then. The problem is that people rarely put them back right away and then the next person grabs the previous update and installs that. You can imagine the mess. Is there an absolutely 100% guaranteed way to wipe a CD so that the data on it can never be re-used, but that keeps the printed face reasonably intact ? Harold K Dear Harold 5-10 seconds in a Microwave will give you a cute miniature lightning show and an almost psychedelic finish on the data side of the CD. It OBVIOUSLY is fried, but usually the printed side is intact. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you said ...." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Two Ingredient Coconut Banana Cookies By attosa 180 435 Two Ingredient Coconut Banana Cookies By attosa 180 435 I love these little cookies! They only have two ingredients, shredded coconut and banana. They turn out like a cross between banana bread and coconut macaroons. You can use a super ripe banana and unsweetened coconut or a plain banana and sweetened coconut, however you decided to go by how sweet you like them. These are a great option for those who are vegan or gluten-free. Approximate Time: 25 minutes Yield: 9 cookies Ingredients: 1 banana 1 cup shredded coconut (I used sweetened) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a cookie sheet. Mash bananas and coconut very well with a fork. Drop little mounds onto your prepared cookie sheet. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes or until edges and tops are golden. Let cool completely then remove and serve. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ If your daughter wants to learn how to drive, don't stand in her way. ___________________________________________________
Mini Maestro - so absolutely adorable!
____________________________________________________ Quote from a recent Government office meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done". ____________________________________________________ Chris: Why did you sell that brand new pressure cooker at your yard sale? Cindy: It may look like a pressure cooker to you, but in the hands of my husband, it's a secret weapon. Last Sunday, he shot a pot roast into outer space! ____________________________________________________
Top 10 Most amazing Churches, Shrines, Temples and Mosques

Today on February 20
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London. 
1809 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the power of the federal 
 government was greater than that of any individual state. 
1815 The USS Constitution, under Captain Charles Stewart 
 fought the British ships Cyane and Levant. The Constitution 
 captured both, but lost the Levant after encountering a 
 British squadron. The Constitution and the Cyane returned 
 to New York safely on May 15, 1815. The Cyane was purchased 
 and became the USS Cyane. 
1839 The U.S. Congress prohibited dueling in the District 
 of Columbia. 
1872 Luther Crowell received a patent for a machine that 
 manufactured paper bags. 
1872 Silas Noble and J.P. Cooley patented the toothpick 
 manufacturing machine. 
1901 The first territorial legislature of Hawaii convened. 
1921 The motion picture "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" 
 was released starring Rudolph Valentino. 
1931 The U.S. Congress allowed California to build the Oakland 
 Bay Bridge. 
1944 "Big Week" began as U.S. bombers began raiding German 
 aircraft manufacturing centers during World War II. 
1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world 
 three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American 
 to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 Mercury 
 capsule. Glenn witnessed the  while  in flight.
1965 Ranger 8 crashed on the moon after sending back thousands 
 of pictures of its surface. 
1987 A bomb exploded in a computer store in Salt Lake City, UT. 
 The blast was blamed on the Unabomber. 
1993 Two ten-year-old boys were charged by police in Liverpool, 
 England, in the abduction and death of a toddler. The two boys 
 were later convicted. 
1998 American Tara Lipinski, at age 15, became the youngest 
 gold medalist in winter Olympics history when she won the 
 ladies' figure skating title at Nagano, Japan. 
2001 FBI Agent Robert Phillip Hanssen was arrested and charged 
 with spying for the Russians for 15 years. 
2002 In Reqa Al-Gharbiya, Egypt, a fire raced through a train 
 killing at least 370 people and injuring at least 65. 
2003 In West Warwick, RI, 100 people were killed and more than 
 230 were injured when fire destroyed the nightclub The Station. 
 The fire started with sparks from a pyrotechnic display being 
 used by Jack Russel's Great White. Ty Longley, guitarist for 
 the band, was one of the victims in the fire. 
2008 The U.S. Navy destroyed an inoperable spy satellite with a 
 missile from the USS Lake Erie. 
2016  smiled.


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Inaccessible USB ports 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, February 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Walnut Creek High school coach, who had sex with students, exchanged lewd images
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 18, in 1685 Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the basis for France's claim to Texas. History ______________________________________________________ Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ According to statistics, last year over 47 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were students. ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ A mother hopes that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Catherine Handlin, 24, Walnut Creek, California Walnut Creek High school coach had sex with students, exchanged lewd images A former girls basketball coach has been arrested and charged with two felonies after a police investigation determined she had two sexual encounters with a minor, authorities said. Catherine Handlin, 24, was a junior varsity girls basketball coach at Berean Christian High School -- a private school in Walnut Creek -- until these allegations surfaced. She faces charges of oral copulation with a minor -- which would require Handlin to register as a sex offender if she's convicted -- and sex with a minor, according to the Contra Costa County District Attorney's Office. She is also accused of exchanging sexual texts with students. The investigation started Jan. 8, after the school received an anonymous tip that Handlin had been engaging in inappropriate conduct with a student, and immediately called police. Detectives located two male students -- an 18-year-old and a 17-year-old -- who admitted to receiving nude pictures from Handlin, police said. Handlin never coached either of the students, according to authorities. Principal Nelson Noriega said he alerted parents at the beginning of the investigation and recently sent out a second mass email explaining to families what had happened. Authorities conducted interviews and determined that Handlin had engaged in two sexual encounters with the 17-year-old, and she was arrested on Jan. 10. She has been released after posting $70,000 bail but was fired from her coaching job the same day the allegations surfaced, police said. According to authorities, the sexual encounters happened Dec. 31 and Jan. 7 in cars parked in Clayton and Walnut Creek. Handlin's attorney, Dan O'Malley, called the incident "an unfortunate mistake in judgment." "She's taking responsibility for it," he said. Handlin's father, Mike, echoed that sentiment. "Catherine made a mistake," he told ABC7 News. "She's taking responsibility. She's a young adult. There's no reason to drag her over the coals for the rest of her life for this." The two charges are known to authorities as "wobblers" because they can be prosecuted as misdemeanors or felonies. After reviewing all the facts, authorities decided to prosecute the case as felonies, even though Handlin's alleged crimes weren't as egregious as many sex crimes that get prosecuted, such as child molestation or rape, Flynn said. "It's a position of trust issue, with a student and teacher or coach," he said. "That's the thing that's troubling about it." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vera P Re: USB sockets Dear Webby Why do they put the USB ports at the most awkward spots at the BACK of a computer? I curse those morons every time I have to crawl under my desk with a flashlight to plug something in. Could I drill a hole in the front and glue that silly plug in there? Vera P Dear Vera There is a much better solution. Get yourself a 4 or 6 port USB hub and a 10 foot high speed USB cable, and a little strip of double-sided tape. Plug the cable into one of the hard to get at USB ports at the back of the computer and snake it up to the monitor. With 10 feet of cable you should be able to route it in a way so that it doesn't look too messy or get in the way. Then plug the USB hub into it and glue the hub to the side of the monitor in a way so that the OUT ports of the hub are facing towards you. Now you can plug and unplug things without bashing your head against the underside of your desk. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Here is somethnig you can tell everybody in the elevator today: "Most people are really scared of werewolves but I bet if you saw one crying because the other wolves had made fun of him, you would probably feel sorry for him and try to pet him. That was my first mistake...." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easily Clean White Leather on Tennis Shoes By CatLynn 2 Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 Has the white leather on the edges of your tennis shoes turned dingy? I have found a simple way to successfully clean this. All you need is soap, water, and a battery powered toothbrush. Wet the toothbrush bristles, turn the brush on, and push the bristles against a wet bar of soap. Scrub along the nooks and crannies of the leather carefully, rinsing the brush and scrubbing once more. Then wipe clean. Very easy and cheap! Amazing difference! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two country doctors out in the hills of West Virginia were discussing the population explosion in the world. One physician says, "Why, Bubba, this crazy birth thang isa gettin' so bad that perty soon, they ain't gonna be room for ever'body! There'sa gonna be standin' room only on this here planet!" The other doctor replied, "Well, that sure oughta slow 'em down a bit!" ___________________________________________________
Good To Be Alive
____________________________________________________ My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum. "I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was working, I found the same darn book. I had bought it a couple of years ago." ____________________________________________________ They were having their first fight, and finally he said, "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." She said, "I just didn't want to embarrass you in front of all those people anf have them think you got stuck with an argumentative nag." ____________________________________________________
Amazing places on this old earth of ours.

Today on February 18
1564 The artist Michelanglelo died in Rome. 
1685 Robert Cavelier, Sieur de LaSalle established 
 Fort St. Louis at Matagorda Bay, and thus formed the 
 basis for France's claim to Texas. 
1841 The first continuous filibuster in the U.S. Senate 
 began. It lasted until March 11th. 
1885 Mark Twain's "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" was 
 published in the U.S. for the first time. 
1913 The famous French painting "Nude Descending a Staircase", 
 by the French artist, Marcel Duchamp, was displayed at 
 an "Armory Show" in New York City. 
1930 Elm Farm Ollie became the first cow to fly in an 
 airplane. 
1930 The planet Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh. The 
 discovery was made as a result of photographs taken in 
 January 1930. 
1952 Greece and Turkey became members of NATO. 
1970 The Chicago Seven defendants were found innocent of 
 conspiring to incite riots at the 1968 Democratic 
 national convention. 
1972 The California Supreme Court struck down the state's 
 death penalty. 
1977 The space shuttle Enterprise went on its maiden 
 "flight" sitting on top of a Boeing 747. 
1987 The executives of the Girl Scout movement decided to 
 change the color of the scout uniform from the traditional 
 Girl Scout green to the newer Girl Scout blue. 
1998 In Russia, money shortages resulted in the shutting 
 down of three plants that produced nuclear weapons. 
1998 In Nevada, two white separatists were arrested and 
 accused of plotting a bacterial attack on subways in 
 New York City. 
2000 The U.S. Commerce Department reported a deficit in 
 trade goods and services of $271.3 billion for 1999. 
2001 NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Sr., was killed in a 
 crash during the Daytona 500 race. 
2001 FBI agent Robert Philip Hanssen was arrested and 
 accused of spying for Russia for more than 15 years. He 
 later pleaded guilty and was sentenced to life in prison 
 without parole. 
2003 In South Korea, at least 120 people were killed when 
 a man lit a fire on a subway train. 
2015  smiled.


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What is the reason for Daylight Savings Time? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, February 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Twisted burglar who ransacked home caught by DNA on disgusting evidence he left behind
Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 15, in 1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of Baltimore, MD. History ______________________________________________________ Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence. --- Henry Adams Do you realize that if Bernie Sanders wins, it will be the first time that a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family? --- Lillemor ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman had a faithful cat. And one day, a man ran over the cat. So, he went to the old woman and said: "I'm terribly sorry about your cat. I'd like to replace him." "That so nice of you!" said the old woman, deeply touched. "How good are you at catching mice?" ______________________________________________________
Save up to 85% OFF retail prices on Ink & Toner-Click here
February Deal: Buy one, get one free, on most products
with this coupon link Get One Free
or
Get 15% off ANY ink and toner
with THIS coupon link 15% off ANY ink and toner
______________________________________________________ There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs. The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted. The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. She brought her husband to the store... (please scroll down the page.) What were you thinking? -- her husband speaks English! ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jack Rutley, 20, Teeside, England Twisted burglar who ransacked home caught by DNA on disgusting evidence he left behind A twisted burglar who soiled his victim’s bed, ransacked his home and stole his car was jailed for three years. Teesside’s most senior judge told Jack Rutley, 20, that he might have thought it was funny when he smeared his excrement on the man’s bedsheets. But the disgusting mess rebounded on him because Scenes of Crime officers were able to use it to identify him from his DNA on their records. The Recorder of Middlesbrough, Judge Simon Bourne-Arton QC, sent him to prison saying: “You may have thought it entirely amusing at the time, of course, but it was your undoing, and in my view that was a very serious aspect of the case.” Prosecuter David Crook told Teesside Crown Court that the bedding had to be destroyed after the discovery at the house in Middlesbrough on September 19 last year. He read out a Victim Impact Statement from the man, who lived there alone: “I am upset and disgusted that the defendant had defecated in my home.” Graham Brown, defending, said Rutley and his family were disgusted by his actions. Mr Brown added: “We accept that the sentence likely to be passed is one only of custody. “He has no previous convictions for burglary recorded against him. (Just some other ones, that got his DNA recorded) “He has a supportive family who are ashamed of what he has done. He pleaded guilty and I accept that the evidence was such that there was no alternative to admitting it.” Mr Crook said the man had packed his VW Passat car with stock to take to a car boot sale before he went out, returning in the early hours to find the vehicle had gone and his house had been ransacked. A neighbour’s CCTV showed two men driving off in it and returning later. The car was also filmed at a filling station where the driver, Rutley, drove off without paying for petrol and diesel. Police also arrested a second man whose fingerprint was found on some of the stolen property. Tyrone Ackerman, 29, denied he was involved in the burglary but admitted being driven by Rutley in the Passat. Rachel Dyson, defending him, said that he was aware at the time that the goods were stolen but he did not know they came from a domestic burglary. Rutley, of Wand Hill Gardens, Saltburn, was jailed for 36 months, including 32 months for the burglary, after he pleaded guilty to burglary, taking without consent and making off without payment. Ackerman, of Cedarmoor Gardens, Stainton, was jailed for 37 weeks after he pleaded guilty to handling stolen goods and being carried in a car taken without consent. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Robbie Re: Daylight Savings Time Dear Webby What is the reason for daylight savings time ? Robbie Dear Robbie There is no valid reason. It's just government policy. The farmers in Saskatchewan voted against it, because the wives and the cattle don't like it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. "Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers with a friend." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 Marking the Dial on a Toaster By lalala... 732 97 The marks that need to line up on the toaster dial were hard to see on my parents' toaster. So they marked theirs with a little bit of red nail polish. Now it is easy to see what setting the dial is on and you will be less likely to burn your toast. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forgot the other two. ___________________________________________________
Unchained Melody - indian flutes
____________________________________________________ Shortly after arriving at the University of Washington, Babs joined some new friends on a trip to nearby Vancouver, British Columbia. It was her first trip outside the United States. At the border, a guard asked how long they would stay in Canada. Knowing it would be after midnight when they returned, she asked, "How late will we be able to get back across the border?" "Any time, Ma'am," the guard said. "We never close Canada." ____________________________________________________ Angus McIveer needed the aid of a specialist, but the fees appalled him. It was $250 for the first visit, and $100 for subsequent visits. Still, it was a matter of life and death, and besides, he had an idea. As he entered the doctor's office, the miser said cordially, "Well, Doctor, here I am -- again!" But the doctor had met this type before. He made a great show of examining the patient with minute thoroughness, and then said "Just continue with the same treatment as before!" ____________________________________________________
Cirque du Soleil, 'nuff said.

Today on February 17
1817 The first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of 
 Baltimore, MD. 
1865 Columbia, SC, burned. The Confederates were evacuating and 
 the Union Forces were moving in. 
1876 Julius Wolff was credited with being the first to can 
 sardines. 
1878 In San Francisco, CA, the first large city telephone 
 exchange opened. It had only 18 phones. 
1933 Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years 
 after Chic Young’s popular strip first debuted. 
1934 The first high school automobile driver’s education course 
 was introduced in State College, PA. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Eniwetok Atoll began. 
 U.S. forces won the battle on February 22, 1944. 
1947 The Voice of America began broadcasting to the Soviet Union. 
1964 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that congressional districts 
 within each state had to be approximately equal in population.
1992 In Milwaukee, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was sentenced to 
 life in prison. In November of 1994, he was beaten to death 
 in prison. 
1995 Colin Ferguson was convicted of six counts of murder in the 
 December 1993 Long Island Rail Road shootings. He was later 
 sentenced to a minimum of 200 years in prison. 
1996 World chess champion Garry Kasparov beat the IBM supercomputer 
 "Deep Blue" in Philadelphia, PA. 
2005 U.S. President George W. Bush named John Negroponte as the 
 first national intelligence director.
2015  smiled.


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