Anti-Aliasing on the forgery 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 30, 2011

Some sheeple sure got hysterical complaining about me 
mentioning the White House forgery. Does the truth hurt that much?

It makes no difference who the kuckoo actually is. 
It is too late to do anything about that. 

What irks me is the arrogant sloppiness of the forgery.
"Good enough for brainwashed sheep!"

Well, you got at least one person standing up for you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner
An extremely shy fellow brings his date a bouquet of flowers. She's so overcome she throws her arms around him and kisses him long and hard. After the kiss, red-faced, he turns and bolts for the door. "Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't," he replies. "I'm just going for more flowers."
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A driver pulls up beside a farmhouse in eastern Nebraska. He gets out and knocks at the door. An old woman answers, and the driver asks her for directions to Des Moines, Iowa. "Don't know," the woman says. The driver gets back in his car and pulls away. Then he hears voices. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees the woman and a man of about the same age waving for him to come back. He makes a U-turn and drives back to them. "This is my husband," the old woman says. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either." ------------ They sound like gas station attendants in Phoenix, AZ.
Tanks to Kim for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. True doublke rainbow, with reversed colors.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dorothy McGurk, 43, new York Woman Caught Belly Dancing Loses Disability Claim NEW YORK (AP) - A New York City woman who was getting $850 a month in alimony because she was supposedly disabled and unable to work had her payments slashed after her ex-husband spotted online photos of her belly dancing. Brian McGurk went to court after discovering a blog that showed his 43-year-old ex-wife dancing for pay at a gallery. In other Internet postings, she wrote about dancing vigorously for several hours every day. Dorothy McGurk told the court that the dancing was physical therapy for injuries she suffered in a car accident in the mid-1990s. Richmond County Supreme Court Justice Catherine DiDomenico didn't buy it — and reduced her payments to $400 per month. The judge also ordered her to pay her ex-husband's legal fees and 60 percent from the sale of their home.
From the Tech Support Pits: Re-Run, WITH the picture I mentioned. From Randal Re: What is anti-aliasing? Dear Webby, Most of the mail and reports about the official White House forgery mention that some of the stuff klutzed into the certificate has modern anti-aliasing, that was not available in those days, just like the name of the hospital or the name of the country of the father. So what is anti-aliasing? Randal ear Randal Have a look at the certificate at the White House site: Official Birth certificate If that site is too busy and too slow, here is a cut of the top right corner from there: Look at the "1" that I circled and enlarged. Ignore the amateurish mismatch in size, look at the contour. See that nice smoothing of the outline, that makes it so much more pleasant to look at, than the "1"s from 1961 ? That smoothing is called anti-aliasing. All modern graphics programs have that since the mid 80's and have the option to turn it on or off. The official White House forger forgot to turn that anti-aliasing option off on his Mac, and thereby made it quite obvious at first glance, that it was a clumsy forgery. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

The showers in Jane's daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time they flushed the toilets. During one of her daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. Jane was explaining how her daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly they heard the daughter call out from the bathroom, "Flushing!" "Good grief," said Jane's friend, "How much more do you want to know?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Replacement Boxes For Playing Cards My kids are always tearing the boxes that playing cards come in. I cut a Little Debbie oatmeal box down to where it is a little taller than the cards and put the cards in it. I used the bottom of the box and cut the top part off. I plan on decorating it later. The box will stand up or lay down. By Sandrafadeley from Portland, TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
My kids never understood my logic. They totally failed to see why they had to go to bed when I was tired.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to pretend to listen to all of them!"

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What is anti-aliasing? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 29, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

During the first half of Thursday I received all kinds of mail about
the many klutzy flaws in the White House forgery. 

In the second half, the topic changed to the question: "Why is 
the main stream media not commenting about the forgery?
Have they been scared and intimidated and forbidden to
comment on the forgery?"

Well, that seems to be rather obvious.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. --- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. --- Socratex
Two English men are walking along O'Connell Street in Dublin, Ireland when they see a sign in a shop window. Suits $15.00, shirts $2.00, trousers $2.50. One said to the other one "Look at that - we could buy a lot of that gear and, when we get back to England we could make a fortune, When we go into the shop don't say anything, let me do all the talking, cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us, so I'll speak in my best Irish accent." They go in and he orders, 50 suits at $15.00, 100 shirts at $2.00 and 50 trousers at $2.50 The owner of the shop says "You're English aren't you?" The Englishman replies "Oh bother... Yes, how did you know that?" The owner says, "This is a Dry Cleaner shop."
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Donald wore a toupe. One Sunday morning he was fussing about how bad it looked and everyone would know he wore a toupe. His 7 year old daughter told him "No they won't... no one I told, had known!"
Tanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel Alberto Barros, 23, in Miami-Dade, Florida Man struck by own car, still snags suspect DES MOINES, Iowa -- A tire store employee was hit with his own car when he tried to stop someone from stealing it over the weekend -- but despite an injured leg, he ran the car down on foot and took the suspect into custody. Timothy Ray is still sore, but he managed to return to work Monday. "Yeah, he hit me with my own car," said Ray, 36. "I tried to stop him, but he clipped me pretty good. He got me in the knee, and I rolled my ankle." The impact threw Ray back into the side of the tire store. Ray works at Graham Tire and was on duty early Saturday afternoon when someone noticed a man going through cars at some nearby businesses. By the time Ray was aware that someone was going through his Buick in the tire store parking lot, the man was starting it with keys he'd found under the seat. Ray, who was about 30 feet away when the culprit started the car and drove off, tried to stop him. After hitting Ray with the stolen car, the driver hit a fence, a utility pole and the building, and then he drove off, snapping another utility pole. Shortly thereafter, the driver crashed into a parked car. Despite his injuries, Ray was running behind his stolen car, and he caught up with the driver . His car was totaled. Ray took the thief to the ground and put him in a headlock and choke hold. Store manager Jeff Chapman was right behind Ray and helped sit on the suspect until police arrived. Robert Noah Reynolds, 18, of West Des Moines, Iowa, is charged with first-degree theft, interference with official acts, assault with intent to inflict serious injury and six counts of hit-and-run. He was in the Polk County Jail on Monday, held on $21,300 bond. Chapman said the alleged car thief "seemed to have lost his mind." "He caused a lot of destruction in a short amount of time," Chapman said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Randal Re: What is anti-aliasing? Dear Webby, Most of the mail and reports about the official White House forgery mention that some of the stuff klutzed into the certificate has modern anti-aliasing, that was not available in those days, just like the name of the hospital or the name of the country of the father. So what is anti-aliasing? Randal Dear Randal Have a look at the certificate at the White House site: Official Birth certificate If that site is too busy and too slow, here is a cut of the top right corner from there: Look at the "1" that I circled and enlarged. Ignore the amateurish mismatch in size, look at the contour. See that nice smoothing of the outline, that makes it so much more pleasant to look at, than the "1"s from 1961 ? That smoothing is called anti-aliasing. All modern graphics programs have that since the mid 80's and have the option to turn it on or off. The official White House forger forgot to turn that anti-aliasing option off on his Mac, and thereby made it quite obvious at first glance, that it was a clumsy forgery. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

One time, sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer. About a minute later all eight of those people sat down grumpily, as the lady behind the ticket counter announced: "If there is anyone else, OTHER than the flight crew, who'd like to volunteer, please step forward."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Basil Growing Basil Basil is one of the most popular herbs in the home garden. Known for its strong, peppery flavor (with hints of licorice), and its striking ornamental foliage. Basil is as versatile in the landscape as it is in the kitchen. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Ellie for this one: To confirm her suspicions my sister needed to purchase a pregnancy test kit. Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me to pick one up for her. I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk when I waddled up, nine months pregnant, to pay for the kit. "Honey," she said, "I can save you $15 right now. You're definitely pregnant."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young minister, in his first days at his first parish, is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home, he stands before the open casket and tries to think of words to console the widow. Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is only the husk, the shell. The nut has gone to heaven."

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White House Forgery revealed! 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, April 28, 2011

I got a fair bit of mail today about Obamanov's birth certificate posted
on the White House site:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default ... g-form.pdf
Official Birth certificate

Yes, it IS official, 
and it IS indeed forged.
It is actually a very, very klutzy forgery.
Whoever did it, even forgot to merge the layers and left a wide open
forensic itinerary of the forgery. DUH!
That is about as boneheaded as the guy, who held up a bank with
a note written on the back of his probation papers, and left those
at the bank.

I just had a quick glance at the official forgery, and saw 
that it was obvious and klutzy. If you want to read about how to spot
the many mistakes on that forgery, try
You've GOT To Be Kidding Me (Birth Certificate)

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. --- Barbara Tober Traditions are a cozy way to ensure that the smart people don't have to learn everything the hard way. --- D.W.
Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
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What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A northern zoo has the English and the Latin name of the animal on the front of the cage. A southern zoo has the English name of the animal and cooking instructions on the front of the cage.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel Alberto Barros, 23, in Miami-Dade, Florida Police Impersonator Arrested A quick thinking woman saves herself from potentially becoming a victim. The 23-year-old says Daniel Alberto Barros pulled up behind her Friday night, flashed red and blue lights and a badge at her and tried to get her to pull over. She immediately called her stepfather, a real officer. He met her and Barros at a Southwest Miami-Dade gas station, which propelled Barros to make a run for it. He was arrested a short distance away and charged with impersonating an officer. Investigators say the badge was real. Barros' brother is a real officer. The unmarked BMW was also his brother's. The report did not mention who owned the illegal red and blue lights..
From the Tech Support Pits: From Mandy Re: Is it safe to vacuum a keyboard? Dear Webby, Is it safe to vacuum a keyboard? I got yelled at for trying to do that, but thought you had recommended it at one time. Mandy Dear Mandy Yes, it is quite safe to vacuum today's keyboards. Unplug it first, and it is also quite safe to slam it upside down onto a hard surface, preferably one covered with old newspaper or an open garbage bag. You will be surprised what all falls out. After that, go ahead and vacuum it thoroughly, then wash it with a damp sponge and dry it with an old t-shirt. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son." "OK: He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery." "How can you say all that without even meeting him?" "I thought you said he's 13?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Bracelets and Watches on a Mug Rack I moved to a small flat last November and am still finding items that I have not unpacked. Amongst these are my bling bracelets and watches, only cheap from holidays but I just love them. Because storage is very limited, I bought a stainless steel mug rack and have hung everything, watches and all. It it looks really pretty and no need to hide away. By Helen from UK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When Bill and Sue were getting married, they wanted to add a touch of Sue's home state, Kansas, to the wedding. Bill explained this to a friend and said that they were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony. His friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After shopping at a busy store, Mary and another woman happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding their cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then Mary's car horn beeped, and she was able to locate her vehicle easily. Wow," the other woman said. "I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find my car." "Actually," I replied, "that was my husband who honked the horn when he saw me walking off in the wrong direction."

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New Antisceptic 


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Internet TV 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 27, 2011

If you, or a family member, uses a Sony Play Station,
it would be a good idea to inform your credit card companies 
and request fresh cards. The data o 77 Million users has been
copied by hackers. They won't get around to cleaning out 
the cards of all of them immediately, but they will start at
one end. Let's hope, by the time they get to your card,
you will have replaced yours with a new one!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
A person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17 and he should be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17 --- Socratex Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. --- Confucius It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. --- John Wooden
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter, "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables."
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I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!" The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. "I don't know about you," he said incredulously. "But I usually just put my car in park."
Click through the picture to the large version. Are those blue lines level, or not?
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 55 year old drunk driver in Melbourne, Australia Melbourne drunk driver on way to 'test teeth' at KFC A WOMAN caught drink-driving has told Melbourne police she was on her way to try her new teeth on fried chicken. The 55-year-old from St Kilda East was caught outside the Prahran Police Station on Friday night and recorded a reading of 0.052. It was her second offence in 10 years and she received an automatic loss of licence. Police say the woman said she had decided to drive because she wanted to try out her new false teeth on KFC. Also in Melbourne, police pulled over a vehicle at Prahran on yesterday with two males standing on the back seats protruding from their waist up through the sunroof. Police fined the two almost $360 each and the driver $480 and gave him six demerit points.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Gale Re: Internet TV Dear Webby, Glad your feeling better and walking further these days. All the snow your having doesn't sound like much fun. Here in St. Louis, Missouri area we are dealing with tornadoes that are setting records. I notice the advertisement on your news letter for "Internet TV" through your lap top or PC and I have a question about it. I don't want to sit in front of my PC all evening and watch TV so is this program able to come through regular TVs with some sort of program or just through the PCs? Sitting in front of the PC and watching TV of the evening and watching TV on a small computer screen just doesn't seem relaxing to me. So can it be view on regular TV screen? Thank you for your help and advice. Gale Dear Gale Apparently all you need is the cable that normally connects the TV to the tuner or channel selector, and then use your big TV as your monitor. With the new format TVs, that should be no prolem at all, unless you have the TV in a different building than the computer. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

Thanks to Donna for this one: While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1957." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How Do I Thin Nail Polish? I had some nail polish that was getting too thick to use, so instead of throwing it away, I poured nail polish remover in it. I just poured a little at a time. Shake it good and if it's still too thick, add a little more. Do this until you can put on your nails smoothly. Nail polish is getting expensive now, so I have to be thrifty. Some bottles are $5.00 or $6.00. Can't throw them away, just fix them - thin them down! Also, if you have a color that you think is too light, just mix in a darker color. Too dark, pour in a lighter color. I have made some pretty colors doing this and saved money. Give it a try, it really works! By dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the story of George Washington chopping down his father's cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the truth. The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and the shocked child protested that George Washington had not been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!"

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Can you use an alternate email while on AOL? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Had to laugh when I read that Lindsay Lohan was "angry about
getting sentenced to 120 days". 
Booo hooo.
The cutesy dingbat did not realize that she got the 120 days 
not so much for stealing a necklace, but for fighting the 
conviction, even though she was on tape!

And now she paid $75,000 bail to be out while appealing the
120 day sentence. She obviously STILL has not learned her 
lesson.

The $75,000 are just ID-10-T tax, of course, since the dingbat 
is bound to get caught for something or another between now
and her next court appearance. Superior Court Judge Stephanie 
Sautner is probably laughing her butt off about it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't. --- Victor Borge Among the English language's many puzzling words is "economy," which means the large size in soap flakes and the small size in cars.
Baby camel to his dad, "Dad, why have we got such big feet?" "so that we can carry our masters through the hot shifting sands of the desert where no other animal can go," replied Dad. "Dad, why have we such long spindly legs?" "So that we can carry our masters through all the prickly thorn bushes in the desert without scratching their legs," replied Dad. "Dad, why do we have such big humps on our backs?" "So that we can carry our masters for long distances across the desert without stopping for food or water," replied Dad. "Dad, why our we sitting in the back of this pickup truck?"
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SUE: "Karen, do you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?" KAREN: Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair. SUE: But your husband is still alive. KAREN: I know, but his hair is gone.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to dopey pilots in New Mexico Cocaine floating in N.M. lake after plane crash State police divers have recovered what a spokesman describes as "fragmented pieces of human remains" from a northern New Mexico lake where authorities have been finding bundles of cocaine since a small plane crashed into the lake. State police spokesman Lt. Eric Garcia said he doesn't know if the remains found Monday belong to more than one person or if there are more remains. The plane, the pilot and any passengers haven't been identified, he said. Winds and current have caused plane debris to spread since Sunday's crash, but more than 20 packages of cocaine have been recovered. Dive team members, who were working 100 feet below the water's surface Monday afternoon, recovered only small pieces of the plane — the largest about the size of a piece of paper, Garcia said. Divers have found nothing that would identify the aircraft, but "the more the water gets rocky, the more debris turns up," he said. The human remains have been turned over to the state Office of the Medical Investigator. Witnesses reported the plane crashed into Heron Lake, about 100 miles north of Santa Fe, at about 10:30 a.m. Sunday. Lake patrol officers found several packages of cocaine, each weighing about a kilogram, or 2 pounds, floating on the lake. State police have blocked the road to the lake to stop people from getting into the area while the search continues. Air trafficking historically has been a significant issue for Southwest border states, state police Chief Robert Shilling said Monday. "I won't say it's keeping us super busy and we're interdicting a plane a week, but ... air smuggling in New Mexico always has been and will continue to be an issue for law enforcement," Shilling said from state police headquarters in Santa Fe. The largest problem now comes from ultra-light craft used in trafficking along the southern border, he said. A couple of commercial pilots staying at a cabin on Heron Lake told CBS affiliate KRQE that they heard the plane circling above them, then the sound of the engine changed and the next thing they heard was a boom.
From Mark Re: Can you use an alternate email while on AOL? Dear Webby, My boss is way behind on her ID-10-T taxes and insists that we dial up through AOL, because she has a stack of those Free AOL CDs. We get all the spam, but we lose way too much of real mail. Pus of course, most customers lauch and snicker when they see our addresses and ask if we are a real business. Is there a way to get reliable mail even when you are on AOL? Mark Dear Mark Yes, sure there is! You can use web mail based on your domain name, or Gmail. You can use either of those and even process them with a full-featured professional email program like Eudora, Pegasus, Outlook, Thunderbird, etc., just like the real businesses do. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. Liz replied: "Yeah, I can understand that. I feel that way too when I eat my hubby's cooking!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Switch Burners When Simmering This is a tip for when you are cooking something that needs to be brought to the boil and then simmered for a period of time. If you are using an electric stove, you know that it takes considerable time to cool down that burner so that the simmering can begin. To avoid the wait, and possible boiling over, just turn on another burner (of the same size) on "low" and transfer your boiling pot to it. Turn off the original burner, of course. No more boiled over sauces, soups, or chili. By Ginny W from Murrells Inlet, SC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding doctor: "After the first, I'm tired, Doc. After the second, my chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-hour for my heart and respiration to return to normal." "Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor. "How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient. "I live on the third floor!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, "Damn...3 .2 meters!" The second one looks furtively around and says, "No police, anywhere. try it!"

» Landscape Pictures






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Not all pictures forward in my Gmail 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 25, 2011

We had a beautiful Easter weekend and I was able to add another
half mile to my daily walk. I don't think I would be able to work
at a hamburger joint for a whole shift just yet, but I can do a 
brisk 3 mile walk without significant pain in the heart area.
I was told to expect some discomfort, since here was major
healing and growing going on, and to just keep at it steadily.

That is what I am doing, and still not smoking!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty. --- Eugene McCarthy
Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?' Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?' 'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?' 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'. 'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury!'
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who contacted police working on a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect."
Click through the picture to the large version. Spring in the foothills I had to darken the picture quite a bit, because the blowing drift snow in the mountains was extremely bright. Those clouds over the mountains are actually just drift snow thrown up by a rambunctious Chinook coming over the Rockies. The snow in the foreground was bright and sunlit. Only by darkening everything, as if I had put strong sun glasses in front of the camera, was I able to show the mountains and super bright drift-snow clouds.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cameron Pittman, 20, St Petersburg, Florida Florida resident Cameron Pittman failed in his attempt to rob a shop with a PlayStation controller, not least because police officers walked into the convenience store in the middle of the fiasco. Mr Pittman was arrested by police in St Petersburg and charged with strong-arm robbery and violation of probation after trying to hold up staff in the Sunshine Foods outlet. According to Bay 9 News, the 20-year-old hid the 'Sony Playstation remote control' in his pocket and pretended it was a gun. When police officers walked in and caught him in the act, he dropped his, err, weapon and yielded to them. Mr Pittman was apparently a suspect in a previous robbery at a Subway restaurant in the same shopping plaza, hence the convenient arrival of the law (they'd received a nifty tip-off).
From Ginger Re: Not all pictures forward in my Gmail Dear Webby, I have Gmail accounts on both of my computers. On my desktop computer I can forward email messages with the graphics included. On the netbook when I try to forward a message I get the empty box with a red "X" where the graphics are. Is there a setting I need to change on my netbook to enable me to forward graphics? Thank you Ginger Dear Ginger Forwarding inline images To forward a message containing inline images, please ensure you have Rich formatting enabled.* To enable Rich formatting or to check whether you have it enabled: Click Compose Mail. Click Rich formatting >> above the blank text field of the message (if you don't see this link, you already have Rich formatting enabled and won't need to do anything else). Discard the blank message. With Rich formatting enabled, just open the message you'd like to forward, click Forward along the bottom of the message, and then click Send. * Note that Rich formatting is not available in Gmail's basic HTML view. Forward pictures in Gmail Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mineshaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mineshaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be MY goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Revitalize Old Clothes I've just changed the buttons on an old coat and it looks just like a new one! I buy buttons in thrift stores (where you can find horn, mother-of-pearl, or brass ones) or take them off other pieces of clothing. I also often dye clothes - particularly woolens - to revitalize them. Beige or cream sweaters or cardigans, if they are looking grubby or dull, cab be dyed a brilliant cherry red or bright pink. Yellows, greens and blues should be dyed again somewhere in their own color range or the color looks a bit muddy. Use Dylon dyes which can go in the washing machine. They are not expensive. New buttons and colors give you a whole new wardrobe. By Lucy from UK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A cat and a mouse walked into a restaurant. The mouse ordered a plate of cheese and crackers. The waiter asked the cat what he wanted and the mouse answered, "The cat is not hungry." The waiter said, "Why don't you let the cat answer for himself?" And the mouse said, "Think about it. If he were hungry, do you think I would be sitting here?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me that he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." And my neighbor said, "Well, it's not really my ladder. It's actually my dad's."

» Real Snail Mail






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Automatic mail sabotage 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter!

There is more to Easter than gas price gouging.
Remember what Easter is all about?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --- Michael Pritchard Great and good are seldom the same man. ---Thomas Fuller
Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the Spring break. When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. Mark was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked. "Well, since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" she said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anthony Garcia in California Gang Tattoo Leads To A Murder Conviction Inked on the chest of a Pico Rivera gang member was the detailed scene of a liquor store slaying that had stumped an L.A. County sheriff's investigator for more than four years. It leads to a jailhouse confession from Anthony Garcia - and a first-degree murder conviction. Details are at Tattoo Confession
From Malcolm Re: Auto... Moron Alert Dear Webby, At first I was really upset about your comments regarding auto... No, I better not write it out, so that your MaiWasher won't censor myletter. I have been teaching for 15 years, that a repsonder should be used. And you have the nerve, calling them "Moron Alerts"! While I was fuming and steaming and searching for some choice words, my wife and my mother agreed with you! Totally outnumbered, skunked. They told me the same as you did, just not as diplomatically. Eventually, I had to agree. They are a nuisance, and really not necessary. While an order summary is appreciated, a dumb mail telling me that somebody will answer during office hours is indeed rather dumb. I won't use or recomment moron alerts any more. Malcolm Dear Malcolm Glad you saw the light! Next we have to work on the snoots, who expect everybody to fill out a form, before their email is allowed through. Yeah, right. Their address gets blacklisted instantly. Believe it or not, some of them are so dumb, they expect a newsletter delivery program to fill out their childish form! I am very glad, that there are plenty of people, who ensure their email is not sabotaged with automatic nonsense. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad engineer. "How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a schedule?" replied the engineer.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buying Second Hand Clothing The best way to buy clothing is to buy them second-hand. A lot of people will not shop second-hand because they prefer their clothing brand new, but guess what? Once you've worn your new outfit once or twice it is now USED! Since I've come to that realization it's been a lot easier for me to shop at second-hand clothing stores. And the money saved can be phenomenal. By Wanda from Winnipeg, Manitoba http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Jill was speeding and an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A small boy was standing near an escalator in a department store watching the moving handrail. "Is there anything wrong?" asked a saleslady. "Nope," he said, I'm just waiting for my gum to come around again.

» Wandering Forest






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Some people don't get her email 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 23, 2011

There is more to Easter than gas price gouging.
Remember what Easter is all about?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers. --- Deepak Chopra: You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Jon. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts, "Let Jon graduate, let Jon graduate!" The principal agrees to give Jon one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Jon, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Jon thought long and hard and then said, "Ten." At that the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Jon another chance. Give Jon another chance!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

Marge was royally peeved! She was arguing with the druggist because her favourite cure-all could no longer be bought without a prescription. "Look, lady. You can't have this without a prescription because it's been declared a habit-forming drug." "IT IS NOT!!!!" Screamed Margaret! "I ought to know: I've been taking it regularly for thirtyseven years!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bruce Manlove, 36, in Dover, Delaware Pre-Botched Hold-Up DOVER, Del. -- Dover police say a robber made their jobs easy by handing a convenience store clerk a demand note that had his name on the back. Thirty-six-year-old Bruce Manlove was arrested shortly after the robbery early Wednesday. He's accused of stealing 17 packs of Newport cigarettes. Police say Manlove walked into a 7-Eleven around 3:15 a.m. and handed the clerk a note that read, "This is a robbery." The clerk handed over the cigarettes but refused to give the note back. Police say the note was written on the back of Manlove's Department of Correction paperwork. Apparently Brucie Manlove really wanted to go back to his lover. And no, he was not allowed to take the robbed cigarettes along into jail.
From Jerry Re: Some people don't get my email Dear Webby, what could be causing my mail to work OK to some people but not to others. I don't spam, and I have no idea what could cause this. Some of the people who can't get my regular mail, get it OK if I mail to them by using a disposable hotmail address, like the one I am using for this mail. I even stopped getting your newsletter! Jerry Dear Jerry You won't get answers from a lot of people, because you have a "moron alert". (AutoResponder) In this day of mail overload, a lot of people put any address that results in nuisance autoresponder mails, into their spam block. Automatically. I do too. MailWasher recognizes autoresponders, and I set it to blacklist anybody, who is trying to waste my time with a silly auto-responder. Just get rid of your moron alert, change your address, and you won't have a problem. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

A small boy walked into a police station one day and said, I've got three big brothers and we all live in the same room. My eldest brother has seven cats. Another one has three dogs and the third has a goat. I want you to do something about the smell.“ Are the any windows in your room? “ asked the officer. Yes, of course there are! “ said the boy. Have you tried opening them? “ "I can't...all my pigeons would escape."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycled Planters From Old Shoes Our PTA president had us ask the school for a week to bring in old shoes for our green theme. Lots of the children brought shoes and the PTA bought soil and seeds. We had the children come one class at a time. Any shoes that had holes, rips, or were very old we put soil in and about 6-8 seeds. The kids lined them up against one of the school's walls. The classes are taking turns watering their shoes and now one month later little sprouts are popping up. The children are so happy and so are we. By LisaLou from Los Angeles, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A wise schoolteacher sent this note to all parents: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

» Crystal Cave






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Can you swap printer ink? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 22, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

It warmed up enough to finally wash the salt and mud off the car.
Luckily there were only a few small spots where I saw some rust.
If the sun comes out tomorrow, I will treat those with Naval Jelly
and convert the rust to Iron Phosphate. 

Same as every Easter weekend, the price of fuel as gone up. 
This time the official blame is put on Gadafi. His tankers
are getting blocked by the 28 country Anti-Gadafi Alliance.
None of that blocked oil is destined for here, but that is 
beside the point. It's all Gadafi's fault, just like it is his fault, 
that the poor innocent rebels are forced to use land mines,
RPGs, out of date cluster munitions and rocket launchers
without instructions.

Luckily the left wing media agrees, that it all is Gadafi's fault.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
On the topic of long Sermons: When ideas fail, words come in very handy. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. --- Horace Walpole
A worried Mrs. Murray sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?" "Why, George! Your husband! ....Is this 555-1374? "No, this is 555-1347." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the audience. "Jones, never do that again!" the drill instructor whispered. But a few minutes later, the soldier waved a second time. Back in the barracks after the parade, the DI stormed in and barked for Jones to come front and center. "Son, you knew I was going to see you," he screamed. "You knew it was wrong. Aren't you afraid of me?" "Yes, SIR!" replied Jones. "But you don't know my mother! You better hide quickly. I can hear her truck approaching, SIR!"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Desert Rose
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittany Marie Sterna-Lanaghan, 20, of Billings, Montana Woman charged $6K to fiance's dad's card BILLINGS, Mont. (UPI) -- Authorities in Montana said a woman admitted making nearly $6,000 in unauthorized purchases using her fiance's father's credit card. Brittany Marie Sterna-Lanaghan, 20, of Billings pleaded guilty Monday in District Judge Gregory Todd's courtroom to felony deceptive practices by common scheme, the Billings Gazette reported Tuesday. Sterna-Lanaghan admitted making 55 unauthorized transactions on the credit card of her prospective father-in-law, including wedding-related purchases. Under the plea agreement, prosecutors and Sterna-Lanaghan's public defender are recommending a six-year deferred sentence and a $500 fine. The agreement also requires her to write a letter of apology and pay $5,776 in restitution. The newspaper did not say if the wedding has been called off, postponed six years or what the plans are.
From Erin Re: Swap unused printer ink Dear Webby, My HP printer died shortly after the warranty expired. Their warranty timers are getting too accurate for my taste! I won't buy another HP ever! The problem is that I still have lots of ink for it. Can I trade that for ink for a different printer? Thanks Erin Dear Erin That depends entirely on where you bought the ink. If you got it from a good and respectable outfit like Atlantic Inkjet, it is no problem at all. You simply send the ink back to them and tell them what printer you got now. Usually within a few days you will get the ink for the new printer. We did that at least four times already, and there was never any problem. Regarding the HP warranty timers: Buy your printers from Staples and add the $10 extra warranty, put the paperwork into a shipping pouch and stick it to the bottom or side of the printer. When the warranty timer kills the printer, bring it back to Staples and they will exchange it for a new one. By the way, Atlantic Inkjet does have Laser Toner too! If you want to graduate from the short lived inkjet printers and move up to color lasers, Atlantic Inkjet has toner for my favorite, the Dell 1320c for under $25, and you can order just the colors that you actually need. Right now I got a bit over 117,000 on the counter on that old color laser printer, and never had a problem with it. As long as you use high quality toner, a good printer like that will last for many years. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

A lady had just finished taking a CPR course, and was on the lookout for a chance to try it out. As she left the shopping center, she saw a man lying on the road with a lot of people around him. Screaming, "I know CPR!", she ran to the person, threw her bag down, loosened all tight clothing and got ready to turn him around and start mouth-to-mouth. At this stage, a huge policeman tapped her on the shoulder and said: "Ma'am, I'm sure Ole appreciates your attention, but I am paying him by the quarter hour to try and fish my keys out of the storm sewer."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Plastic Grocery Bags Plastic bag clutter? Quickly smooth the bag. Starting on one side, roll into a sausage. Now tie it in a single knot then tuck each end in. This takes up the space of a small baseball and is neat and tidy. A small container with a lid will keep them contained. By Joan from Ontario, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Loosely wadded and stuffed into a plastic grocery bag, they make very light weight but very high performance insulation. Fill the attic with those bags, and/or the crawl space under the house or trailer. They won't rot or mildew or feed bugs. I lived in the Yukon for 30 years and KNOW how well those losely wadded up grocery bags work. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy. "Nothing easier," Twain said. "No man can serve two masters."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting the weather for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."

» Eggzotica








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RAH 

Robert A. Heinlein Quotes



A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow if tomorrow might improve the odds.

Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.

No intelligent man has any respect for an unjust law.

A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an intellectual- find out how he feels about astrology.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

The hardest part of gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false idea occupying that niche.

Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.

If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!

Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; its more sanitary.

The three-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots.

To get anywhere, or even to live a long time, a man has to guess, and guess right, over and over again, without enough data for a logical answer.

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense.

There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.

Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.

Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

In a society in which it is a moral offense to be different from your neighbor your only escape is never to let them find out.

Anyone can see a forest fire. Skill lies in sniffing the first smoke.

If "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one.

Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.

Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence.

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Most people can't think, most of the remainder won't think, the small fraction who do think mostly can't do it very well.

If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing, with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.

Belief gets in the way of learning.

Humans hardly ever learn from the experience of others. They learn - when they do, which isn't often - on their own, the hard way.

No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word.

It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.




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The Prince 


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Can you swap printer ink? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, April 21, 2011

Some of the snow is disappearing. There are very few puddles.
With the dry wind, it just evaporates and heads East. There is
more snow forecast for later today, but then no snow at all for
the weekend and for next week! We will have spring yet!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
When making decisions for yourself, you should use your head; When making decisions that involve other people, use your heart. --- Socratex "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers." --- Doug Larson
A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, wise beyond his years, "but the store is full of mothers!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they - some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!" "This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me in advance." "Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA." After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist: "OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled events?" The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted: "Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kendra Colvin, 26, in Crestview, Florida Beer heist CRESTVIEW — Kendra Colvin, 26, was charged with stealing beer from a Tom Thumb without entering the convenience store. On April 2, Kendra Colvin drove her red Chevrolet Impala to the Tom Thumb at 994 James Lee Boulevard. She parked the car at the edge of the parking lot, which was out of the sight of the cashier. The woman’s helper, identified only as “Nikki,” went into the store, grabbed an 18-pack of Bud Light beer, shoved it under her shirt and left the store without paying, according to an arrest report from the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office. The cashier followed Nikki out of the store and took down the license plate of the Impala. Later, the 26-year-old owner of the Impala dropped Nikki off at an unknown location, the report said. The driver was charged with larceny, a second degree misdemeanor and released on $500 bail.
From Erin Re: Unused printer ink Dear Webby, My HP printer died shortly after the warranty expired. Their warranty timers are getting too accurate for my taste! I won't buy another HP ever! The problem is that I still have lots of ink for it. Can I trade that for ink for a different printer? Thanks Erin Dear Erin That depends entirely on where you bought the ink. If you got it from a good and respectable outfit like Atlantic Inkjet, it is no problem at all. You simply send the ink back to them and tell them what printer you got now. Usually within a few days you will get the ink for the new printer. We did that at least four times already, and there was never any problem. Regarding the HP warranty timers: Buy your printers from Staples and add the $10 extra warranty, put the paperwork into a shipping pouch and stick it to the bottom or side of the printer. When the warranty timer kills the printer, bring it back to Staples and they will exchange it for a new one. By the way, Atlantic Inkjet does have Laser Toner too! If you want to graduate from the short lived inkjet printers and move up to color lasers, Atlantic Inkjet has toner for my favorite, the Dell 1320c for under $25, and you can order just the colors that you actually need. Right now I got a bit over 117,000 on the counter on that old color laser printer, and never had a problem with it. As long as you use high quality toner, a good printer like that will last for many years. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again, even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have messed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Plastic Coffee Can Yarn Holder Someone wrote in that she rolls her yarn into a ball and puts it in a coffee can with a hole in the lid for the yarn to come up through. I tried that, but the edge of the plastic lid kept cutting the yarn. So I came up with a better method. I still use the coffee can and its plastic lid. But I cut the hole much larger. Then I take a circle of plastic canvas and cut out the center of it just a few rounds in. After doing this I use double strands of yarn and whip stitch all the way around to cover the edge completely. But I only do this for the edge. Next I glue the unworked plastic canvas to the under side of the plastic lid. Now my yarn comes up nicely without catching or breaking. By Cricketnc from Parkton, NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ That sounds like an awful lot of tedious work! Get two small self-stick glue-on dish towel hooks per can. Glue them inside the can near the top on opposite sides. Stretch a rubber band between the hooks and pull the yarn or wool out between or beside the rubber band. The rubber band will keep the yarn ball from jumping out, even when it encounters a tangle. And when you ar done for the day, you can snap the lid on for a dustproof cover. After all, keeping the yarn or wool clean is the reason for the can in the first place! If you don't have access to the dish towel hooks, just poke holes from the inside of the can out, poke a loop of the rubber band out through the hole and anchor it with a short piece of uncooked spaghetti or match. Using a rubber band for the "keeper" allows fast and easy replacement of the ball. I don't do needle work, but for 15 years did my best to reduce my girlfriend's cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me." ------------- That reminds me: A womans definition of a secret: Gossip which is spread only one person at a time.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled around, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I . . . didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did."

» Newspaper House






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What is a double extension? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 20, 2011

It didn't snow today, but people sure kept looking over towards
th mountains. There is a lot of fresh snow over there, no bare
rocks showing anywhere. The general feeling is that the delay
of spring is winding up a slingshot. If it stays cold unti May,
and then a hot May sun hits this mess, there is going to be
a lot of flooding.

I am going to test my basement sump pump today.

Usually, after we have a flood, I see quite a few hot water 
tanks out on the lawns, waiting for a trip to the dump.
This time I plan to snag one or two, and put them up into 
my attic. Initially they will just use waste heat, from when 
the sun heats up the space between the roof and the insulation,
and they will pre-heat the water, that goes to the water heater. 
That way the heater just has to top it off a bit, instead of
starting with icy cold water from the feed line.

Since the water heater remains as my biggest energy consumer,
that will make the biggest difference of anything I can do.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Isn't it funny that the same people, who laugh at science fiction, listen to weather forecasts and economists?" --- Dianne
Thanks to Mike from http://10000birds.com/ for this story: A duck walks into a pet store and says to the clerk, “Got any duck food?” “No,” says the clerk, “we only sell dog food and cat food.” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?” The clerk once again replies, “No, like I told you, we only sell cat food and dog food.” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?” The clerk says, “Hey look, I told you two times already that we only sell cat food and dog food!” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?” This time the clerk yells, “We don’t sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any nails?” “No,” says the confused clerk. Then the duck says, “Got any duck food?”
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

"Good afternoon, Landlord, a pint of Less if you please," said the old man. "Less? Never heard of it," replied the barman. "Oh, come now surely you have," he persisted. "No sorry, we certainly don't stock it. What is it anyway? Some foreign beer?" "Well I'm not sure," admitted the man. "It was the doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink LESS."
Thanks to Ch uck for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. "Don'tKnowNameApr0610" Have FUN! DearWebby
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rita Counts, 48, of Wellington, Florida Woman arrested after remote attack WELLINGTON, Fla. (UPI) -- Authorities in Florida said a woman who used a remote control to strike her husband was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said the husband of Rita Counts, 48, of Wellington, called authorities following a Monday night argument, the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post reported Thursday. The 50-year-old husband, whose name was not released, told deputies his wife had struck him on the head with a remote control and on his head and arms with a telephone during the argument. A deputy's report said the man had "visible red and black bruises which were caused by Rita." Rita Counts iss being held without bail on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
From Marge Re: What are Double Extensions Dear Webby, I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain. Thank you. Marge Dear Marge Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached. It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, ot it could be some nuisance stuff like a virus or a worm. Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that tells the computer what to do with it. If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif" When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file with a picture viewer or picture editor. If the extension is ".xls" or ".wb4" then Windows knows it is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program. Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it. If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs a backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably also sends itself to everybody in your Outlook or Outlook Express address book. Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly. If you don't see ANY extension at the ends of file names, then either Microsoft or a hacker has turned that off. In that case, open a File Explorer right-click START Explore Tools Folder Options View In there go through all the confusing looking options and make it SHOW all extensions. Don't let it hide anything from you. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with. The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if left alone long enough, will develop into something you can't afford either.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baskets To Organize Refrigerator And Freezer I find that if I use wire baskets (or plastic) to organize my freezer and refrigerator, it is so much easier to find things and also to clean them. I move the oldest items in the freezer to the bottom bin so they get used sooner. This has saved me a lot of time looking for things. By desertgal from Phoenix, AZ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Sign posted in the Army recruiting office: "Marry a veteran, Girls! He can cook, make beds, sew, and is already used to taking orders."

» Faberge Eggs






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Are double extensions ever safe ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Thank you John McC

The sun was out today! It wasn't warm enough to melt much snow,
but it felt good to stand in sheltered spots out of the wind 
and enjoy the rays of the sun.

When I went for my walk to the post office after 5, I noticed
that most houses had bare roofs, and only a few still had snow
on them. That makes it really easy to tell, who has proper 
insulation and who is wasting their heating money.

My roof has lots of snow on it. I use a good vapor barrier
in the ceiling, sealed the idiotic attic vents, that the
furnace fuel merchants talked the previous owners into,
and over the years heaved hundreds of shopping bags,
filled with losely wadded up shopping bags and egg cartons,
up there. The insulation value is probably around R-400,
and all those bags are sitting on top of the R-6 insulation,
that was up there, when I bought the house.

Some friends suggested I should patent my ideas about
insulation. Nah, waste of money. With ideas THAT good
and effective, you can't force most people to copy them,
and the rare ones who ARE smart enough, they deserve
a freebie.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. --- Socratex It is bad luck to be superstitious. --- Socratex
The trendy dresser fancied himself quite a romeo, and was delighted to find a note pinned inside a new shirt. It contained a girl's name and address, and asked the recipient to send a photograph. How romantic, he thought to himself, very taken with the idea of this mystery woman so eager to meet him, and promptly mailed off a note and a photo. Heart aflutter, he opened her response. It read, "Thanks for writing. I was just curious to see what kind of guy would buy such a goofy shirt."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over at the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties... He's the one with the beard, mustache and glasses, - and no horns."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Black-Swans-in-the-distance Sorry for the slight fuzz, but it was an awfully long zoom to the other side of that lake. Sandie Don't worry, Sandie! It is a great picture and Milions of times better than all the pictures, that were not taken because of worry about fuzz. Have FUN! DearWebby
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Harry Lee Gray, 67, in Fort Pierce, Florida Cyclist says man in electric wheelchair chased her around parking lot on three days ST. LUCIE COUNTY, Fla. - Police arrested a 67-year-old man after a woman said he “charged” her in his electric wheelchair, crashing into her bicycle after chasing her around a parking lot on three days. The victim earlier this week told Fort Pierce police she was on her bicycle when Harry Lee Gray “charged her in his electric wheelchair” at an address in the 600 block of Avenue B, according to a recently released arrest affidavit. She said Gray purposely crashed into her leg and bicycle, knocking her off. Further, she said he picked up the bike, which her late father had given to her, and “slammed” it down, causing the front tire to come off. “(The victim) stated that Gray has chased her on the last three days around the parking lot, but she never called the police,” an affidavit states. Gray, who police said appeared “very intoxicated,” denied doing anything. He then offered the woman money to repair the bike. Witnesses said they saw Gray knock the victim from the bicycle before picking it up and slamming it down. “It should be noted that Gray is not wheelchair bound, and he can walk” the affidavit states. Gray, of the 600 block of Avenue B in Fort Pierce, was arrested on misdemeanor battery and criminal mischief charges.
From Lynn Re: Double Extensions Dear Webby, I know you said to always trash any attachments that have two extensions, because they never have anythin worthwhile but usually something harmful. My brother sent me a letter that had an attachment with two extensions, so I deleted it and told him to clean up his act. He told me they are not bad, and that it can happen when one picks up a page saved from the net and opens it with a spreadsheet program. He told me not to worry about double extensions. Lynn Dear Lynn Yes, it could happen, if somebody is too absentminded to save a file properly, just like it can happen, that somebody like him watches people on the other side of the street,- and walks into a lightpole. Only somebody who has walked into too many light poles would tell others to not worry about double extensions. There may be the odd harmless ooops, but with double extensions the hostile and dangerous files outnumber the ooopses by a Million to one. With viruses and worms it is much smarter to err on the safe side. You did the smart thing. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

"Here's something that will really make you feel grown up," said a father to his teenage daughter, "Your very own phone bill."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baskets To Organize Refrigerator And Freezer I find that if I use wire baskets (or plastic) to organize my freezer and refrigerator, it is so much easier to find things and also to clean them. I move the oldest items in the freezer to the bottom bin so they get used sooner. This has saved me a lot of time looking for things. By desertgal from Phoenix, AZ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?" "I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily. "Good," said the officer. "Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?" The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Here is an old classic, returned by Collette: During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid."

» Darling Starlings






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Nozzle Rage 




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How to make icon text background transparent? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 18, 2011

Sunday it snowed most of the day, but surprisingly, the snow on
the ground did not increase. Some time you could just barely 
make out the sun behind the clouds, and that was enough to
warm some of the sidewalks and some of the streets, 
so that the snow melted and evaporated as fas as it fell.

It felt eerie, seeing snow falling, and dry sidewalks.
Didn't stop me from my walk.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win." --- Joey Adams
Jill was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her grew quickly. The man in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously, as Jill continued trying to get the car to started again. Finally, Jill got out of her car and approached the man in the car behind her. She smiled and said to him, "I can't seem to get my car started. Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and honk your horn for you."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day!

A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering." "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $2500 down, and payments of $550 for 24 months, plus payments for extras." "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!" "Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a Florida bank robber Dye pack explodes in suspect's pocket WINTER PARK, Fla., April 13 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a dye pack exploded in a bank robbery suspect's pocket, injuring him and leading to his being detained by restaurant workers. Winter Park police said the man, whose identity was not released, used a threatening note to rob the Bank of America on Aloma Avenue about 11:20 a.m. Tuesday and fled with an undisclosed amount of cash, the Orlando Sentinel reported Wednesday. Police said the suspect was injured when the dye pack hidden in the stolen cash exploded in his pocket and he attempted to hide inside the nearby Giovanni's Italian Restaurant. However, restaurant workers chased the man out of the business and eventually caught up with and detained him until police arrived. The nature of the man's injury was not released.
From Nathan Re: Icon text background Dear Webby, On my desktop the icons and the words under them used to have an invisble background and it looked Good...But I made my own background and now the words have colors behind them. Is there a way to get the invisibilty back again? Thank you for your time!! Nathan Dear Nathan In Windows XP Open System Properties In Control Panel, choose the Advanced tab, click Settings in the Performance section. Turn on the Use drop shadows for icon labels on the desktop option, and click Ok. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book. Download and use right away. Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park --the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonalds they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a theater to see Star Wars--more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Lid to Measure Vanilla When using vanilla or other flavor extracts in a recipe, you can save your measuring spoon and use the lid instead. The lid on every bottle of vanilla I've used for years holds almost exactly 1 tsp. Check yours and see if I'm right! After you measure into the lid, be sure to wipe it out with a paper towel, or do as I do and just run the lid under water and shake it dry. If you put the lid back on without rinsing or cleaning it, it will stick shut the next time you try to use it. By lyonpridej from Tulsa, OK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent. Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer." "Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver a pizza."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this, then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to r epeat everything they say. Looking stunned, he said, "What?"

» Oh Oh






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Reverse phone number look-up 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 17, 2011

Friends from both sides in Libya have sent me pictures and 
videos. 

Considering that the 28 Allied countries are busy testing
their equipment and smashing the infrastructure safely far 
away from any action, the rebels are getting frustrated and
are demanding weapons and ammo and missiles.

The Government side points out that the rebels are killing
more than enough people already with weapons and ammo,
that they stole from the government, and that the Allies are
just making it worse. The death toll is getting almost as bad
as weekends in New Orleans!

About the only thing they all agree on, is that they would 
rather be somewhere outside of Libya.

What puzzles me is why are those 28 countries doing all
their weapons testing in Libya?

Yes, I know, they are too chicken to tackle Iran or 
North Korea or Venezuela or Somalia.

However, with Somalia they could get China and Russia
to help them. Then they COULD bring the piracy issue
to an end.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody, nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"
A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a teacher. She called the number shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the student babbled on about how she thought she had found her life's calling and could she send her some information. The lady who answered the phone asked the student what number she was calling. The student told her and there was a pause. Then the lady told her, "You misspelled TEACH."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply USING certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. It's not a matter of buying stuff, just use what you got in smarter combinations. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

In Kabul this morning, the Minister of the Department of National Security held a meeting of all the Karzai "doubles." "I have good news, and some bad news for you all. The good news is, our illustrious leader, Hamid Karzai, is alive!", he announced. A great cheer erupted within the room. "The bad news is that that he lost his testicles and an arm. Corrective surgery for you guys is scheduled for 10 am"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christian Brock, 21, of Dacula, GA Felon with road rage picks on deputy A Gwinnett County felon who picked on the wrong guy during a bout of alleged road rage near Loganville was ordered held without bond at his first court appearance Friday. Police told Channel 2 Action News that Christian Brock, 21, of Dacula, tried to run another driver off Georgia 20 around 11 p.m. Wednesday. It didn't end well for Brock. The other driver was Deputy Paul Frederick of the Gwinnett County Sheriff's Office, who was commuting to work in his own car. The deputy told Channel 2 Action News that the driver swerved to hit him two or three times. "I made every attempt to avoid the situation, slowing down, stopping and he still tried to run into my vehicle," Frederick said in a report by the TV station Thursday. Frederick said he called dispatch, and Gwinnett County police officers arrested Brock. When police searched his car, Frederick said they found a gun, loaded and cocked. The deputy told Channel 2 Action News that police also found Tasers, drugs and black gloves. Brock, who was charged with reckless conduct, aggressive driving, marijuana possession, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and violation of probation, appeared in court at the Gwinnett County Jail on Friday morning, and a magistrate ordered him held without bond until his preliminary hearing on April 21. Brock told Judge Phyllis Russell that he had been unemployed since November, and asked the judge for a court-appointed attorney.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wilma Re: Reverse telephone look-up Dear Webby, Do you know of any Reverse Telephone Look-Ups that are really free? The ones I find will come back saying they found the number; but if you want the name or anything they charge you...even the ones that say free aren't. wilma Dear Wilma I don't think there are any free ones, that are reliable. If somebody is harassing you, tell the cops. If they are not harassing you, harass them! Or put them on hold until after supper. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book. Download and use right away. Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said "Chopsticks are provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chop- sticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks." "True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire three extra people to clean up the mess."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use The Other Side Of Swiffer Pads When I use the disposable Swiffer type cleaning cloths, I flip them over to use the clean side before tossing them in the trash. This works well with the dry dust mop cloths. It doubles the use of each cloth. The wet ones do ok, but not as well. They seem to tear and pull out of the base when flipped. By Priscilla from Lawton, OK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ I have been using a micro-fiber dust mop for about a dozen years. Usually I just shake it out in the wind, out on the deck, sometimes I vacuum it, and now and then I toss it into the laundry with jeans. With real Micro-Fiber you have to avoid dryer sheets and if possible, the dryer alltogether. Drying it in a good wind works best to make them real dust magnets. I have seen people use those expensive Swiffers and they don't seem to work nearly as well. I will probably get another twenty years out of it, before I have to think about replacing it. The same goes for my wet mop. It actually is just a heavy string mop, also with a Micro-Fiber material. Not a round yacht mop, but a classic flat string mop like you probably rememember from your school days. Yes, I know, it is heavy, even when it is just damp, and too heavy for one handed use, unless you have industry strengthened arms, but the weight of the mop works to it's advantage and high gloss vinyl and hardwood floors come up shiny with just one pass of the dampened mop. The thought of wasting money on periodic replacements just makes me laugh. It will probably outlive me. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The battery in John's beat-up VW beetle had died because he left the lights on overnight. He was in a hurry to get to work on time so he ran into the house to get his wife to give him a push to start the car. John told her to get into her car, a prehistoric, oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push the VW fast enough to start it. John pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at a speed of at least 40 MPH for it to start. She said fine, hoped into her car and drove off. John sat there fuming, wondering what could be taking her so long. A minute passed by and then he saw her in the rearview mirror, coming at him at about 50 MPH. It was then that John realized that he should have been A LOT clearer with his directions....
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church. Later that night, her daughter took all of her dolls into the bathtub with her and held her own "baptism." As she dunked each doll under the water, she repeated, "Now I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and hold your nose."

» Flora and Fauna






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In The Good Old Days 

The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it "in the old days."
Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.


Second Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

First Runner-Up:

In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them not like today.

And the winner:

In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Honorable Mentions:

In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly tickedoff voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.

In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of grayhaired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of grayhaired, liberal 60-year-old guys.

Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight.

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Mouse occasionally very slow 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 16, 2011

Had to laugh today about some of the claims of the Libyan
rebels. They accused Gadafi of using Cluster Bombs.
Did they forget that Gadafi's planes all got trashed sitting 
on the ground, weeks ago? Anything flying and dropping
bombs belongs to the rebels or the 28 countries of the 
Anti-Gadafi Alliance.

The media spin doctors also blame the shelling from the
Allied ships on Gadafi.

Hmm, maybe I can blame the blizzard and lousy spring on
Gadafi too?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. People will pay more to be entertained than educated. --- Johnny Carson
A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Lately at a restaurant I overheard the couple at the next table discuss their bill. "Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm worth at least $ 137,000."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Hot Air Ballon Flight Reflection from lake below. That is probably the best balloon picture I have ever seen! Great shot, Sandie!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Borys Wrzesnewskyj, Liberal Minister of Parliament in Toronto, Ontario King of Sleaze [youtube_com] http://snipurl.com/king-of-sleaze While distributing toys collected by firefighters, Borys consistently neglected to mention the firefighters bad made sure everybody knew who HE is, Borys Wrzesnewskyj, Liberal Minister of Parliament Most people thought that was merely tacky and typical for Ignatieff's crew, some considered it rather sleazy. I doubt that the firefighters here in the West would let him get away with that, but in Toronto he is fairly safe.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Verna from Beechy Re: Slow mouse Dear Webby, Me again with desktop issues this time.... Computer: iNET pro, Pentium 4 CPU, 2.80GHz, 448 MB of RAM, Windows XP with Microsoft (cordless) mouse and keyboard. Mouse and keyboard have become, periodically, very sluggish. Batteries checked OK. Have checked connection on receiver/ transmitter (??) and it appears OK, and is placed very close to both hardware components. At times, both work well, and all of a sudden there is a delay of response to keystrokes or mouse movement. There do not appear to be any updates to the drivers..... Suggestions??? (other than 'corded' components!) Thanks again. Verna Dear Verna How are you? We got blizzard again. I would check to see if you have a virus scan or defrag going on and taking priority. They can really drag things down. Since it does work OK at times, it is not hardware or drivers. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

With the quality of education declining in the U.S. the IRS is considering a new simplified tax form where all you have to do is color it in.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Backs Of School Notices As Scratch Paper When the children bring notices home and I don't need them, I rip them in half and use them as scrap paper. I leave them near the phones. The ones I use are the ones that have empty back sides. By Lorraine from Venice, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ The insides of junk-mail envelopes also make handy scratch paper, and there is always a good supply of it. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older brother explained. "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the dollar. "There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."

» Virtual Body






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How to stop the computer from shutting down 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 15, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you Jurrie!

Yesterday morning we had 25 cm (10") fresh snow on top of the 
old snow and the few bare patches. The weather office claims,
they will use a new forecast for May, but not to expect a lot
of changes between now and then. Sounds like 1970's weather.

Once the snow is gone, I am going to put a ladder up the side
of the house and overhaul the office air conditioner. It will 
proably be running a LOT this summer. The 70's had cold and 
late springs and absolute scorchers for summers.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody listens to you anyway --- Socratex
Ancient Burma Shave poems. Once upon a time, before the big billboards became popular, these were on simple boards along the highways all across the country. DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT Burma Shave DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING Burma Shave BROTHER SPEEDER, LET'S REHEARSE; ALL TOGETHER, GOOD MORNING NURSE Burma Shave CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND LOTS MORE STEER Burma Shave SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN X MARKES THE SPOT Burma Shave THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED HIM TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE Burma Shave AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT A BEAUTIFUL NEW CAR WASN'T IT Burma Shave NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU Burma Shave A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN' Burma Shave AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY Burma Shave BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE Burma Shave THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING Burma Shave CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. Burma Shave
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

A small company that had frequent break-ins installed a new security system with alarms, codes and key pads. Late one night the alarm went off and the police raced to the scene. Outside the building, wandering around the grounds, they spotted and apprehended a suspect. The police called the Security Director for the company and said, "We caught the culprit, an old guy with a cane, well dressed, but kinda slow. He tried to pass as an employee, but he knows nothing about your business." The Security Director said, "Oh, that's the president of the company. He can never remember his exit code."
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Roberta Spen, 64, Coral Springs, Florida. Instead of pulling over for police, Coral Springs woman pulls into McDonald’s drive-thru, orders lunch Police say when an officer tried to pull over Roberta Spen, 64, Monday for having faulty brake lights, she instead pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru lane and ordered lunch. The bizarre exchange happened along University Drive just south of Atlantic Boulevard at about 2 p.m., and it spawned an all-out police pursuit. Officer Courtney Vassell pulled up behind Spen in the drive-thru lane, and got out of the patrol car. With police lights flashing behind him, he told her to pull out into the parking lot for a traffic stop, according to a police report. Spen, though, completed her food order, paid the bill, and then drove her bronze 2001 Chevrolet out of the parking lot and onto Northwest Sixth Court, Vassell said. Vassell again flipped on his siren and stopped Spen outside the McDonald's, where he said she "rolled her window down one inch and said she was not speeding and she would not roll her window down." Spen also refused to hand over her driver's license, vehicle registration and proof of insurance, then drove away from Vassell, police said. Vassell got back in his patrol car, flipped on his emergency lights again, and followed Spen as she turned north onto Northwest 98th Avenue, east onto Atlantic and then north on University Drive. Several other police officers joined in the pursuit. Although the police lights did not stop Spen, a red light at University and Ramblewood Drive did, and several officers attempted to box in Spen's car. Somehow, though, Spen was able to drive in reverse out of the box and continued driving north on University, police said. Spen finally stopped at the Mobil gas station at 1351 University Drive, where officers again surrounded her car. This time, when she refused to leave the car, the officers went in and got her smashing the driver's side window and pulling her out the hard way, police said. After a quick check-up at Coral Springs Medical Center, Spen was taken to a Broward jail, arrested on charges of fleeing and eluding, resisting arrest without violence and driving with defective equipment. Police said on the arrest report that they found no indication Spen was under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the chase, and they could find no explanation for why Spen, who before her arrest Monday had no criminal record in Florida, didn't just pull over. In bond court Tuesday Judge John "Jay" Hurley ordered her release under the condition she submit to a mental health evaluation.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rose Re: Mystery Shut Down Dear Webby, Glad to see you're health is returning.....you'd be missed it you got worse. I've got an odd problem with my Dell XP computer, It keeps shutting itself off, for no apparent reason. I checked the Settings but nothing indicates whyh that happens. tt's driving me up the sall, specially when I'm in the midst of something imprtant. Using an antiquated 'puter to send this to you. Any advice you can give (other tyhan tossing the beast) would be greatly appreciated. Rose Dear Rose I would vacuum out the computer and clean all the heat sinks. The shrouds over them snap off with a bit of fiddling. If it still does it after a thorough cleaning, call DELL's 1-800 support number. . On a DELL, there is some diagnostic stuff in a hidden partition. They will guide you over the phone through activating that diagnostic software and they can figure out from there, whether your CPU is overheating or whether your power supply is getting flakey. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

With the quality of education declining in the U.S. the IRS is considering a new simplified tax form where all you have to do is color it in.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Toilet Paper Seed Strips About two weeks ago, a gardening tip on ThriftyFun talked about cutting toilet paper into strips and gluing seeds onto the strips. I found it hard to cut into strips. What I did was I rolled the paper out the length of my table. Keeping in rows along the length nine to a square then I let it dry. I rolled it up and then cut it into strips. It worked out well for me. By Laura from Ocala, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked. He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, It will probably be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The Father knocked on the bathroom door where his teenage daughter had been taking a bath for over an hour. "Cindy! Just how long will you be in that bathtub?" From the other side of the door came an exasperated reply: "Oh Daddy! Water affects your weight, not your height. I'm still 5'4"!"

» 50's - 60's TV shows






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Slow? 

The other day I went to a local kitchen store to buy a utensil holder for my newly renovated kitchen.

In case you don't know, a utensil holder is a pot that sits on your counter top to hold various kitchen implements like a whisk, large spoons etc.



I found one I liked and went to the checkout. While the woman was ringing up the purchase I started reading the sticker on the side of the holder that said where the holder was made.

The cashier saw me reading the sticker and said, slowly and in a loud voice,

"You put your utensils in it and put it on the counter".


I gave her a blank stare, so she repeated her sentence in a louder voice

"This holds your kitchen tools."

I guess she thought I was a little slow.

Tomorrow I am going to return it to the store and claim it dosen't work.





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More ways to type the Euro sign 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Allied Air Assault on Libya is getting sillier by the day.
The US is still buying fuel at retail and doing aerial refueling,
because the wimpy British and French jets can't take off
with fuel AND bombs, plus the US is still doing all of the
attacks against targets, that might shoot back.

England and France are bitching and whining that some of the
members of the 28 country Alliance are not fanatic enough in
their attempts to defeat Gdafi.

Meanwhile NATO is pointing out that their mandate is not to defeat
Gadafi, but to prevent his troops from harming civilians. Since
most of the killing of civilians these days is done by British 
bombers and especially by rebel factions settling old scores, 
NATO is scaling back its enthusiasm.

Some people are wondering why England is so hysterical about
repeating the mistakes they made with Palestine. 
Creating future ammo clients there did not really work in 
their favor. 

Considering that Gadafi has been behaving like a choir boy
compared to the regimes in Iran or North Korea, why are all
the hyppocrites ganging up on him, and ignoring Iran and 
North Korea?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Imagination is the true magic carpet. --- Norman Vincent Peale The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. --- Bertrand Russell
"I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club. "Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive." "Not really," said the little old man. "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail."
Click through the picture to the large version. Gulible Warming? LMAO
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dalton Beyer, 19, of Charlestown, Indiana. Car thief asks cops for help with gas WEST FARGO, N.D. -- An Indiana man was arrested after he showed up at a North Dakota police station in a stolen car looking for help to buy gas. West Fargo Assistant Chief Mike Reitan tells The Forum that the 19-year-old man from Charlestown, Ind., showed up at the station Monday morning asking for a gas voucher. Police work with a local charity to provide such vouchers to people in emergencies. Reitan says the man told police he was trying to get to Wisconsin to attend a funeral. When the car he was driving turned out to be registered to a Dickinson convenience store, West Fargo authorities checked and discovered the vehicle had been stolen. Reitan says that put an end to the gas voucher discussion. Officers took the man to jail. Instead of gas, he got free room and board and a boyfriend.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mike Re: More ways to type the Euro Sign Dear Webby Another option; buried deeply is a library of Windows symbols Start All Programs Accessories System Tools Character Map Michael D. Dear Michael you can also click START R charmap That will get you there too or, if you are online: http://webby.com/char Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

It was the first day of school after spring break. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he said, "are there any questions?" One girl stood up timidly. " Please sir," she asked," May we have our rap teacher back?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Silicone Baking Sheet for Beading When stringing many beads together, use a silicone baking sheet. It's flexible and holds the beads in place. Using a large eyed stringing needle makes a perfect combination for fast beading without having the beads fall all over everywhere. By Sandra from Montvale, NJ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After receiving his medication from the pharmacist, the customer asks, "Are these time release pills?" The pharmacist replies, "Yes. They begin to work after your check clears."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north." "What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer. "The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."

» Air Bags






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How t type the Euro sign? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Federal Election on May 2 after the minimum required
campaign time of one month looks like a done deal. Harper is
leading with 86%. 

Talk on the street is not about election issues, since it is 
pretty well agreed, that none of the left wing challengers have
any credibility.

"Who forced this hockey season election?"
"The liars on the left."
"Make them work for a living!"
"Damn rights. Are you going to watch hockey tonight?"

The only potential upset I can envision is if nobody shows
up to vote except organized crime and organized unions.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The shortest distance between two points is usually under construction. --- Socratex
Thanks to Hunny for this one: In my job with a credit union, I often run across accounts that are protected by password. The credit-union member, when withdrawing funds, must produce identification and then give the password to the teller. Recently, when I asked a woman for her password, she sighed, rolled her eyes and replied, "Save." I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband used that password so I'd have to say it every time I make a withdrawal."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

The country doctor was just returning from a delivery at an outlying cattle ranch, when he crossed paths with the town's gossip while filling up his car at the gas station. "Doctor Wilson, how is the Smith baby?" "Well, the child was born without a penis." he replied. "Oh, oh my goodness!" said the gossip... and with a smile on her face, she turned to head into town to spread the news. Once she was out of earshot, he told the gas station attendant: "They are going to call her Eva."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. From a hot air balloon (shortly before the emergency landing on a street)
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sara Dedek, 26 year old heroin addict in Chicago 110-pound woman hurt 2 cops at police station Apr 10, 2011 Weighing only 110 pounds and standing just 5-foot-4, Sara Dedek doesn’t look like the most dangerous inmate at the Cook County Jail, but she will definitely be locked up and guarded accordingly for the next few years. The pint-sized, pink-haired mother of two put two Chicago cops into the hospital, after she was arrested for injecting heroin in University Village, prosecutors allege. Dedek, 26, tried to hide her syringe after police officers spotted her shooting up in a parked car near 14th and Emerald Saturday morning, according to a police report. Taken to the Monroe District police station, she punched and shoved two female officers down a flight of stairs, prosecutors told Cook County Judge Donald Panarese Sunday morning. One officer suffered a broken ankle, while a second got a damaged the ligament in her left hand. Dedek, who pouted at a male friend, who was following proceedings in court on Sunday, is charged with two counts of aggravated battery to a peace officer, as well as possession of a controlled substance. Judge Panarese set her bail at $150,000.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kim Re: How to type the Euro Sign Dear Webby How do I make the Euro currency sign ? I need it both for word processing and for the web. Thanks Kim Dear Kim In the Arial font hold down the ALT key and type 0128 and you get € On web pages you can do the same, or if you forget those numbers, just use "€" (without the quotes) Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A woman drove a mini-van filled with a bit more than a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted past a stop sign. "Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and screamed back: "What makes you think these are all mine???"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Girl's Fashion Show to Clean Out Closet Here is a fun way to get your girls ages 7 and up to clean out their closest. Hold a "Fashion" show, where they model each of their summer/winter outfits. Any outfit that does not fit, or that they no longer want can go to a charity like Goodwill or a younger family member. My mom started me on this when I was 11 and I still do it every spring and fall as a fun way to organize the clothes I want to keep and those that I need to give away. If your budget is tight, have them sell the unwanted clothes at a garage sale or consignment store. They can use the money made to buy something new to them from Goodwill or the consignment store where they sold their unwanted clothes. By McCollonough from TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the bartender turns into a nervous wreck. He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks, but he decides to try it. The next day, the hooligan returns. "Give me a Budweiser, or...!" "O-o-o-o-r-r-r w-what?" stammers the bartender. "A small Coke, please."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Mother: "Soooo... you want to become my son-in-law." Suitor: "No, not really. But I don't see any other way to marry your daughter."

» Channeled Scablands






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Whoops! 

While sitting at the dinner table, a little boy asked:
'Dad, where did my Intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
Cause I still have mine'
And then the fight started.


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Wow! 


I first thought this was a joke.

Here is the link to Amazon!



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Forwarded emails 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 11, 2011

There is some major unrest brewing in Poland, but so far the 
main stream media are hushing it up. Yesterday was the 
anniversary of when Poland lost their president and a large
part of their government, when the plane carrying them to
a memorial service for 20,000 Polish citizens executed in 
WWII, mysteriously crashed in Russia. 

There was some mourning yesterday, but also huge 
demonstrations by people, who are not happy with the 
pro-Russian slant of the replacement government.

http://eng.maidanua.org/node/1227/

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something. --- Henry David Thoreau
Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? Can you give me a few of your loudest screams?" Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the five o'clock foot-ball game."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

One day a mother was explaining to her young son that you should never tell a lie. She told him that God saw everything and heard everything. She explained, "Even though your father and I may not know if you are telling a lie God will know." The young son replied, "But will He tell?"
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Kookaburra
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jason Lynn Gay, 37, Orange County, Florida Florida Man Wields Guitar And Katana In Battle To The Death An Orange County, Fl man has now found himself behind bars on two counts of attempted murder as well as two counts of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Jason Lynn Gay, who was recently released from prison in August after completing a 10 year sentence, walked into the tattoo parlor of Patrick Walker, proclaiming to both him and his customer, "You guys are gonna die." A brief melee ensued, involving Gay utilizing Walker's wall mounted guitar and blunt edged ceremonial sword as weapons. However, Walker and his customer proved to be formidable opponents, smashing Gay over the head with a glass tabletop, forcing him to retreat. The literal trail of blood helped police easily track him down, where he was promptly arrested and put into Orange County Jail after a brief visit to the hospital for some facial work.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Doug Re: Forwarded emails Dear Webby At the bottom is a forwarding type email. I get this 'type' of email from a young girl (13 - cousin-in-law). I don't mind them too much. They never work. I was wondering if you know what is so hot about them? They are vastly 'forwarded'. What's the appeal? take care, Doug --------- .....To find out what was inside the container you must forward this to at least 10 people... Dear Doug 13 year olds often like to behave like little smartass pranksters. Sometimes, some of them like that so much, that they never reach the relative maturity expected of a 14 year old. By the way, there is absolutely no point in writing to the senders of those pranks and telling them that they are not going to see a box, and not going to get a check from Bill Gates or anybody. Doing that would be like trying to teach a pig to sing. It hurts the ears, and it annoys the pig. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

There's a new virus about. It is called C-Nile. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of it so be warned. It appears to mostly affect those who were born before 1960. Symptoms of C-Nile Virus: 1. Causes you to send same e-mail twice 2. Causes you to send blank e-mail 3. Causes you to send to wrong person 4. Causes you to send back to person who sent it to you 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Girl's Fashion Show to Clean Out Closet Here is a fun way to get your girls ages 7 and up to clean out their closest. Hold a "Fashion" show, where they model each of their summer/winter outfits. Any outfit that does not fit, or that they no longer want can go to a charity like Goodwill or a younger family member. My mom started me on this when I was 11 and I still do it every spring and fall as a fun way to organize the clothes I want to keep and those that I need to give away. If your budget is tight, have them sell the unwanted clothes at a garage sale or consignment store. They can use the money made to buy something new to them from Goodwill or the consignment store where they sold their unwanted clothes. By McCollonough from TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A little son of a Lutheran minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time the rite of baptism. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub. The first kitten bore it very well, and so did the young cat, but the old family cat rebelled. It struggled, clawed and tore at him, and got away. With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded with the ceremony. But she acted worse than ever, clawed at him, spit, and scratched his hands and face. Finally, after barely getting her splattered after chasing her with a casserole filled with water, he disgustedly declared: "Fine, be a Casserole Baptist !"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Iranians meet in California. One starts to greet the other in Farsi,the language of their native country. The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and said, "We're in America now. Speak Spanish!"

» Doppler Effect






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How to move stuck icons? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 11, 2011

Thank you Dan!

A bunch of you asked for a picture of dad.
Well, after a couple of quick pictures of the cacti, that bloomed
yesterday morning, - you saw one of them -, he waked to the 
train station, took the train to Langen near the top of the Alps,
where it goes into the tunnel to Tirol on the eastern side of the Alps.
There he caught a bus to Lech, and from there a cable car up
a mountain. The same as in the US and Canada, the ski season
is lasting much longer this year than it did during the warm
ripple, so he had an easy time hiking from the cable car top 
station to the peak. Somebody shot this picture on that stretch.

There are lots more pictures from yesterday at http://dawna.com

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. --- Charles Wadsworth
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Bubba met with the mayor to talk about him using his good influence to help Bubba get the new construction contract. The mayor agreed. Bubba said, "To show my appreciation for all the things you've done for our town, I want to present you with a brand new Cadillac. It's loaded! It has everything! Here you go. Here are the keys." The mayor, "Now, Bubba, you know that I can't accept that!" Bubba said, "Oh, yeah, right! Gift limits and all that! Here! I'll sell it to you for half a dollar!" The mayor said, "Okay, Bubba," and gave him a 5 dollar bill. Bubba grinned as he pocketed the bill, "Oops! I don't have change!". The mayor just shrugged and said, "That's okay. I'll just take ten of those half dollar Cadillacs."
Click through the picture to the large version. April 10/2011
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frederick Harris III, 43, of Wilmerding, PA Man jailed for 'squatting' in upscale Western Pennsylvania home A man has been jailed on charges that he took up residence in a $500,000 western Pennsylvania home without the owner’s permission. Frederick Harris III, 43, of Wilmerding, remained in the Westmorland County Prison today on burglary, criminal trespass and criminal mischief charges filed Wednesday when Murrysville police say they found him in the home. Police say Harris had toured the home with a real estate agent who refused to give him keys. Harris later broke a window, pulled up the "for sale" sign and moved in anyway. Police were alerted when a caretaker noticed someone in the house. Police Chief Thomas Seefeld tells the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review that Harris’ “car was in the garage. He had personal items in the home. He basically moved in and was making a home there.”
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marifay Re: Can't move icons Dear Webby Sure hope you can help me with this problem, I can no longer click on to the icons on my desk top and move them .When I do they zip right back to where they were.For some reason they have all moved to the left side of my desk top and cant be moved. Can you help me with this? Marifay Dear Marifay Rightclick an empty spot on the desktop, select ARRANGE ICONS BY and take the checkmark off from AUTO ARRANGE Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so he told her that she wasn't home. "Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?" The man wordlessly directed her to the bench on the porch and left her there while he continued with some yardwork. After 3 hours she got quite worried and called out for him and asked, "May I know where your wife is?" "At the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she coming?" "I don't really know," he said. Then she asked "When did she go there ?" "About eleven years ago"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flatten Ground Beef Before You Freeze I used to buy 5 lb rolls of ground beef, cut them into 5 portions, wrap and freeze them in solid hunks. But it was not conducive for quickly thawing, and if one fell out of our well-stocked freezer, it could break a toe. Now I grind my own meat and freeze it "flat" in thick freezer bags. This would still apply to the rolls too. It's much easier to stack neatly in my freezer and thaws more evenly if I need a "quick thaw". By Kelli from Sentani, Indonesia http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I asked a new temp once how she liked working for the manager of the Facilities Division. She replied, "Well, he's OK I guess. But he sure is bigoted." Somewhat taken aback, I said, "Rose that's a very serious allegation. Exactly what do you mean by 'bigoted' ?" She said, "Well, for one thing, he thinks words can only be spelled one way."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off. The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him. In almost a whisper he says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand." The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man. Then the preacher yells with increasing loudness: "And he who will find a place in hell please STAND UP!" The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing. Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"

» Flavonoids, the Good Food






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Oh No! 


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Classic CRT or flat LCD monitor 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 10, 2011

Thank you Carlene!

Looks like Obamanov's gamble with the paychecks for military 
families got a lot of people's blood pressure up, and made up
their minds about how to vote next year. 
Somehow I don't think that is a "forgive and forget" case, and
it looks like a whole bunch of politicians will have to learn about
working for a living.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. --- Mickey Mantle, (attributed) Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. --- Cullen Hightower
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's computer. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." ------------- Every tech support person knows people like that.
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new Mink Coat?" he asks. "Not really," says Mary. "Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John. "No," she responds. "What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well what would you like for our anniversary?" John asks. "John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary. "Sorry honey, I wasn't planning on spending quite THAT much,"
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. These bloomed today.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steven P. Malone in Louisville, Kentucky Slow-Speed Pursuit Suspect Unleashes Bizarre Rant On Camera LOUISVILLE, Ky. — A Louisville man is facing criminal charges after, police said, he attempted to smuggle poultry out of a grocery store by concealing it in his shorts. According to arrest records, Steven P. Malone was seen stuffing four pounds of chicken down the front of his shorts around 4 p.m. Sunday at a Valu Market on Mitscher Avenue. Police said he was walking down the aisle with his shorts falling down past his knees. According to arrest records, he was confronted by store personnel. Police said Malone smelled of alcohol. He also had two packages of M&Ms in his pockets, police said. Malone is charged with theft and public intoxication.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: Classic or LCD monitor? Dear Webby I am getting my own work station, no more sharing with hubby and the kids. The computer is a three year old XP-SP2, freshly formatted, and runs circles around hubby's W7. He got a new computer, I will get a new monitor next month. I have a choice of a brand new 20" wide screen LCD or a refurb 24" classic CRT monster. Space is not a problem. What would you get? Shirley Dear Shirley I would pick the 24" classic CRT without a second of hesitation. On it, everything shows in the 4:3 ratio, that you are used to. Wide screen monitors have the bottom third sawed off, wich makes not only picture editng, but also spread sheet and word processor work rather awkward. Some people eventually get used to the sawed off monitors, but when given a chance, will always go to the standard 4:3. If space is not a problem, go with the big monster. The big CRT monitors have real high resolution, not oily look gimmicks to simulate it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

When Judy arrived for her daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling her that her little girl didn't always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. "For example, she'll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I've even found her sitting at the wrong desk." "I don't understand," Judy replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?" The teacher went on to reassure Judy that her daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, your appointment was actually scheduled for tomorrow."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Scouring Pad in Half When you have only one or two pans to scrub, try cutting a scouring pad in half. Not only will you save money by using only half the pad but you will be sharpening your scissors as well when you use them to cut the pad! If you have a pan that has badly burnt on food, put it back on the stove with water, add some automatic dishwasher powder, or liquid and boil the mixture and leave to sit for a few hours. The burnt on mess will literally come right off the pan with no scrubbing at all. By Michelle from Lanett, AL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A woman sees a beautiful tennis bracelet in a jewelry store window. She goes in and asks the clerk if a small deposit will hold it until she catches her husband at something proportionaltely unforgivable.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Justin, 10, had been ill, requiring several doctors' visits and tests before a specialist came up with the final diagnosis and treatment. Afterwards, his mother asked him if he understood what the doctor had explained to him. "No," replied Justin, "not really." "Okay," his mother replied, "the doctor said you started with a virus..." At which point Justin interrupted to ask, "Does that mean I need a new hard drive ?"

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Ramadan in April ? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 9, 2011

Thank you, Millie!

Looks like a last minute budget deal was reached in the US, 
and bankruptcy has been successfully postponed. 

The big looser is Obamanov.
All previous presidents always excempted the troops and passed
laws and measures that guaranteed pay for the troops, even if
all other federal funding is cut. 
Obamanov changed that, and instantly lost whatever respect
he still had from the troops.

That is a BIG chunk of voters! 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose. --- Socratex If you cannot convince them, confuse them. --- Harry S Truman
Thanks to Judy for this one: At the company where I work, the other operators and I share a coffeepot. One morning I took it into the ladies room to fill it with water. Then I began preening in the mirror, brushing my hair and reapplying some makeup. I didn't realize how long I'd been until someone slid a note under the door. "You win," it read. Any ransom demand will be met. Just release the coffeepot, re-filled please, if the water has gone stale."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Tom said, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
Thanks to Bill for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Across the Back Bay in Biloxi, MS
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Latasha Danielle Dellinger, 22 in Gastonia, NC 27 days in jail for stealing a glass of tea GASTONIA, N.C. — Police say a woman has been sentenced to 27 days in jail for stealing a $2 glass of tea. The Gaston Gazette reports Friday that 22-year-old Latasha Danielle Dellinger was one of two women who ordered water, then filled up their glasses with tea at a self-service drink stand in a Gastonia restaurant. The women said they didn't like the restaurant's service and then yelled out to customers that there was a bomb in the building. Police searched the building to make sure there was no actual bomb threat, and both women were arrested. Dellinger accepted a plea agreement that dropped the false bomb threat charge, for which she could have received a couple of years in jail, if she pleaded guilty to larceny. Her accomplice, Kia Tineka Sessons is expected in court April 29 on other charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette Re: Ramadan Dear Webby Wedding ring is in for repairs - Read ASAP! Another piece falls into place. In a press conference last week Obama was not wearing his wedding ring nor was he wearing his watch When noticed, his staff said his ring was out for repairs. No reason was given for the missing watch. So it's just a coincidence that Muslims are forbidden from wearing jewelry during the month of Ramadan ........ Annette Dear Annette I am no fan of Obamanov, but I think somebody is rattling your chain. Ramadan: 2010 date 11/12 August – 09/10 September 2011 date 1–29 August 2012 date 20 July-18 August http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramadan Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Suppose a new student enrolls at your school. Her name is Le - a. How would you pronounce the child's name??? Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE! Lay - a?? NO! Lei?? Guess Again. It's pronounced 'Ledasha,' oh yes...you read it right. The dash is not silent. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. When asked about the pronunciation of the name, the mother replied, "the dash don't be silent." The mother, Latreena McQueesha, explained that "in Ebonics, 'Le - a' make more since, as when honkies calls her daughter Granola".
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Packing Peanuts for Dog Mattress I had to throw out the mattress to our dog's bed. So I used packing peanuts with a freshly laundered cover to replace it with. Works fine! By dlginlove from Saint Peters, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Make sure you use the smooth, satiny packing peanuts, NOT the dull or rough ones. The dull ones are designed to break down and deteriorate with moisture. While the packing disappearing is just a minor nuisance, the chemicals freed, when they do, can kill your pet. The smooth, satiny ones are safe for 25 years. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two mothers are talking about a friend who has just given birth to triplets. "You know, that only happens one in 120,000 times," says one. "Amazing," says the other. "How did she ever find time to do any housework?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked, "What is the Gross National Product?" His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"

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