Whoops! 

While sitting at the dinner table, a little boy asked:
'Dad, where did my Intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother,
Cause I still have mine'
And then the fight started.


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Wow! 


I first thought this was a joke.

Here is the link to Amazon!



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Forwarded emails 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 11, 2011

There is some major unrest brewing in Poland, but so far the 
main stream media are hushing it up. Yesterday was the 
anniversary of when Poland lost their president and a large
part of their government, when the plane carrying them to
a memorial service for 20,000 Polish citizens executed in 
WWII, mysteriously crashed in Russia. 

There was some mourning yesterday, but also huge 
demonstrations by people, who are not happy with the 
pro-Russian slant of the replacement government.

http://eng.maidanua.org/node/1227/

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something. --- Henry David Thoreau
Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? Can you give me a few of your loudest screams?" Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the five o'clock foot-ball game."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

One day a mother was explaining to her young son that you should never tell a lie. She told him that God saw everything and heard everything. She explained, "Even though your father and I may not know if you are telling a lie God will know." The young son replied, "But will He tell?"
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Kookaburra
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jason Lynn Gay, 37, Orange County, Florida Florida Man Wields Guitar And Katana In Battle To The Death An Orange County, Fl man has now found himself behind bars on two counts of attempted murder as well as two counts of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Jason Lynn Gay, who was recently released from prison in August after completing a 10 year sentence, walked into the tattoo parlor of Patrick Walker, proclaiming to both him and his customer, "You guys are gonna die." A brief melee ensued, involving Gay utilizing Walker's wall mounted guitar and blunt edged ceremonial sword as weapons. However, Walker and his customer proved to be formidable opponents, smashing Gay over the head with a glass tabletop, forcing him to retreat. The literal trail of blood helped police easily track him down, where he was promptly arrested and put into Orange County Jail after a brief visit to the hospital for some facial work.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Doug Re: Forwarded emails Dear Webby At the bottom is a forwarding type email. I get this 'type' of email from a young girl (13 - cousin-in-law). I don't mind them too much. They never work. I was wondering if you know what is so hot about them? They are vastly 'forwarded'. What's the appeal? take care, Doug --------- .....To find out what was inside the container you must forward this to at least 10 people... Dear Doug 13 year olds often like to behave like little smartass pranksters. Sometimes, some of them like that so much, that they never reach the relative maturity expected of a 14 year old. By the way, there is absolutely no point in writing to the senders of those pranks and telling them that they are not going to see a box, and not going to get a check from Bill Gates or anybody. Doing that would be like trying to teach a pig to sing. It hurts the ears, and it annoys the pig. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

There's a new virus about. It is called C-Nile. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of it so be warned. It appears to mostly affect those who were born before 1960. Symptoms of C-Nile Virus: 1. Causes you to send same e-mail twice 2. Causes you to send blank e-mail 3. Causes you to send to wrong person 4. Causes you to send back to person who sent it to you 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Girl's Fashion Show to Clean Out Closet Here is a fun way to get your girls ages 7 and up to clean out their closest. Hold a "Fashion" show, where they model each of their summer/winter outfits. Any outfit that does not fit, or that they no longer want can go to a charity like Goodwill or a younger family member. My mom started me on this when I was 11 and I still do it every spring and fall as a fun way to organize the clothes I want to keep and those that I need to give away. If your budget is tight, have them sell the unwanted clothes at a garage sale or consignment store. They can use the money made to buy something new to them from Goodwill or the consignment store where they sold their unwanted clothes. By McCollonough from TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A little son of a Lutheran minister was in church one morning when he saw for the first time the rite of baptism. He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub. The first kitten bore it very well, and so did the young cat, but the old family cat rebelled. It struggled, clawed and tore at him, and got away. With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded with the ceremony. But she acted worse than ever, clawed at him, spit, and scratched his hands and face. Finally, after barely getting her splattered after chasing her with a casserole filled with water, he disgustedly declared: "Fine, be a Casserole Baptist !"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Iranians meet in California. One starts to greet the other in Farsi,the language of their native country. The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and said, "We're in America now. Speak Spanish!"

» Doppler Effect






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How to move stuck icons? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 11, 2011

Thank you Dan!

A bunch of you asked for a picture of dad.
Well, after a couple of quick pictures of the cacti, that bloomed
yesterday morning, - you saw one of them -, he waked to the 
train station, took the train to Langen near the top of the Alps,
where it goes into the tunnel to Tirol on the eastern side of the Alps.
There he caught a bus to Lech, and from there a cable car up
a mountain. The same as in the US and Canada, the ski season
is lasting much longer this year than it did during the warm
ripple, so he had an easy time hiking from the cable car top 
station to the peak. Somebody shot this picture on that stretch.

There are lots more pictures from yesterday at http://dawna.com

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. --- Charles Wadsworth
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Bubba met with the mayor to talk about him using his good influence to help Bubba get the new construction contract. The mayor agreed. Bubba said, "To show my appreciation for all the things you've done for our town, I want to present you with a brand new Cadillac. It's loaded! It has everything! Here you go. Here are the keys." The mayor, "Now, Bubba, you know that I can't accept that!" Bubba said, "Oh, yeah, right! Gift limits and all that! Here! I'll sell it to you for half a dollar!" The mayor said, "Okay, Bubba," and gave him a 5 dollar bill. Bubba grinned as he pocketed the bill, "Oops! I don't have change!". The mayor just shrugged and said, "That's okay. I'll just take ten of those half dollar Cadillacs."
Click through the picture to the large version. April 10/2011
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frederick Harris III, 43, of Wilmerding, PA Man jailed for 'squatting' in upscale Western Pennsylvania home A man has been jailed on charges that he took up residence in a $500,000 western Pennsylvania home without the owner’s permission. Frederick Harris III, 43, of Wilmerding, remained in the Westmorland County Prison today on burglary, criminal trespass and criminal mischief charges filed Wednesday when Murrysville police say they found him in the home. Police say Harris had toured the home with a real estate agent who refused to give him keys. Harris later broke a window, pulled up the "for sale" sign and moved in anyway. Police were alerted when a caretaker noticed someone in the house. Police Chief Thomas Seefeld tells the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review that Harris’ “car was in the garage. He had personal items in the home. He basically moved in and was making a home there.”
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marifay Re: Can't move icons Dear Webby Sure hope you can help me with this problem, I can no longer click on to the icons on my desk top and move them .When I do they zip right back to where they were.For some reason they have all moved to the left side of my desk top and cant be moved. Can you help me with this? Marifay Dear Marifay Rightclick an empty spot on the desktop, select ARRANGE ICONS BY and take the checkmark off from AUTO ARRANGE Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman knocked his door and asked to see his wife, so he told her that she wasn't home. "Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?" The man wordlessly directed her to the bench on the porch and left her there while he continued with some yardwork. After 3 hours she got quite worried and called out for him and asked, "May I know where your wife is?" "At the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she coming?" "I don't really know," he said. Then she asked "When did she go there ?" "About eleven years ago"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flatten Ground Beef Before You Freeze I used to buy 5 lb rolls of ground beef, cut them into 5 portions, wrap and freeze them in solid hunks. But it was not conducive for quickly thawing, and if one fell out of our well-stocked freezer, it could break a toe. Now I grind my own meat and freeze it "flat" in thick freezer bags. This would still apply to the rolls too. It's much easier to stack neatly in my freezer and thaws more evenly if I need a "quick thaw". By Kelli from Sentani, Indonesia http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I asked a new temp once how she liked working for the manager of the Facilities Division. She replied, "Well, he's OK I guess. But he sure is bigoted." Somewhat taken aback, I said, "Rose that's a very serious allegation. Exactly what do you mean by 'bigoted' ?" She said, "Well, for one thing, he thinks words can only be spelled one way."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off. The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him. In almost a whisper he says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand." The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man. Then the preacher yells with increasing loudness: "And he who will find a place in hell please STAND UP!" The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he's the only one standing. Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"

» Flavonoids, the Good Food






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Oh No! 


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Classic CRT or flat LCD monitor 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 10, 2011

Thank you Carlene!

Looks like Obamanov's gamble with the paychecks for military 
families got a lot of people's blood pressure up, and made up
their minds about how to vote next year. 
Somehow I don't think that is a "forgive and forget" case, and
it looks like a whole bunch of politicians will have to learn about
working for a living.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. --- Mickey Mantle, (attributed) Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. --- Cullen Hightower
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's computer. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." ------------- Every tech support person knows people like that.
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new Mink Coat?" he asks. "Not really," says Mary. "Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John. "No," she responds. "What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well what would you like for our anniversary?" John asks. "John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary. "Sorry honey, I wasn't planning on spending quite THAT much,"
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. These bloomed today.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steven P. Malone in Louisville, Kentucky Slow-Speed Pursuit Suspect Unleashes Bizarre Rant On Camera LOUISVILLE, Ky. — A Louisville man is facing criminal charges after, police said, he attempted to smuggle poultry out of a grocery store by concealing it in his shorts. According to arrest records, Steven P. Malone was seen stuffing four pounds of chicken down the front of his shorts around 4 p.m. Sunday at a Valu Market on Mitscher Avenue. Police said he was walking down the aisle with his shorts falling down past his knees. According to arrest records, he was confronted by store personnel. Police said Malone smelled of alcohol. He also had two packages of M&Ms in his pockets, police said. Malone is charged with theft and public intoxication.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: Classic or LCD monitor? Dear Webby I am getting my own work station, no more sharing with hubby and the kids. The computer is a three year old XP-SP2, freshly formatted, and runs circles around hubby's W7. He got a new computer, I will get a new monitor next month. I have a choice of a brand new 20" wide screen LCD or a refurb 24" classic CRT monster. Space is not a problem. What would you get? Shirley Dear Shirley I would pick the 24" classic CRT without a second of hesitation. On it, everything shows in the 4:3 ratio, that you are used to. Wide screen monitors have the bottom third sawed off, wich makes not only picture editng, but also spread sheet and word processor work rather awkward. Some people eventually get used to the sawed off monitors, but when given a chance, will always go to the standard 4:3. If space is not a problem, go with the big monster. The big CRT monitors have real high resolution, not oily look gimmicks to simulate it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

When Judy arrived for her daughter's parent-teacher conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially when she started telling her that her little girl didn't always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little flighty. "For example, she'll do the wrong page in the workbook," the teacher explained, "and I've even found her sitting at the wrong desk." "I don't understand," Judy replied defensively. "Where could she have gotten that?" The teacher went on to reassure Judy that her daughter was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable. Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, your appointment was actually scheduled for tomorrow."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Scouring Pad in Half When you have only one or two pans to scrub, try cutting a scouring pad in half. Not only will you save money by using only half the pad but you will be sharpening your scissors as well when you use them to cut the pad! If you have a pan that has badly burnt on food, put it back on the stove with water, add some automatic dishwasher powder, or liquid and boil the mixture and leave to sit for a few hours. The burnt on mess will literally come right off the pan with no scrubbing at all. By Michelle from Lanett, AL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A woman sees a beautiful tennis bracelet in a jewelry store window. She goes in and asks the clerk if a small deposit will hold it until she catches her husband at something proportionaltely unforgivable.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Justin, 10, had been ill, requiring several doctors' visits and tests before a specialist came up with the final diagnosis and treatment. Afterwards, his mother asked him if he understood what the doctor had explained to him. "No," replied Justin, "not really." "Okay," his mother replied, "the doctor said you started with a virus..." At which point Justin interrupted to ask, "Does that mean I need a new hard drive ?"

» Cool Pictures






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Ramadan in April ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 9, 2011

Thank you, Millie!

Looks like a last minute budget deal was reached in the US, 
and bankruptcy has been successfully postponed. 

The big looser is Obamanov.
All previous presidents always excempted the troops and passed
laws and measures that guaranteed pay for the troops, even if
all other federal funding is cut. 
Obamanov changed that, and instantly lost whatever respect
he still had from the troops.

That is a BIG chunk of voters! 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The most dangerous part about playing cymbals is near the nose. --- Socratex If you cannot convince them, confuse them. --- Harry S Truman
Thanks to Judy for this one: At the company where I work, the other operators and I share a coffeepot. One morning I took it into the ladies room to fill it with water. Then I began preening in the mirror, brushing my hair and reapplying some makeup. I didn't realize how long I'd been until someone slid a note under the door. "You win," it read. Any ransom demand will be met. Just release the coffeepot, re-filled please, if the water has gone stale."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Tom said, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
Thanks to Bill for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Across the Back Bay in Biloxi, MS
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Latasha Danielle Dellinger, 22 in Gastonia, NC 27 days in jail for stealing a glass of tea GASTONIA, N.C. — Police say a woman has been sentenced to 27 days in jail for stealing a $2 glass of tea. The Gaston Gazette reports Friday that 22-year-old Latasha Danielle Dellinger was one of two women who ordered water, then filled up their glasses with tea at a self-service drink stand in a Gastonia restaurant. The women said they didn't like the restaurant's service and then yelled out to customers that there was a bomb in the building. Police searched the building to make sure there was no actual bomb threat, and both women were arrested. Dellinger accepted a plea agreement that dropped the false bomb threat charge, for which she could have received a couple of years in jail, if she pleaded guilty to larceny. Her accomplice, Kia Tineka Sessons is expected in court April 29 on other charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette Re: Ramadan Dear Webby Wedding ring is in for repairs - Read ASAP! Another piece falls into place. In a press conference last week Obama was not wearing his wedding ring nor was he wearing his watch When noticed, his staff said his ring was out for repairs. No reason was given for the missing watch. So it's just a coincidence that Muslims are forbidden from wearing jewelry during the month of Ramadan ........ Annette Dear Annette I am no fan of Obamanov, but I think somebody is rattling your chain. Ramadan: 2010 date 11/12 August – 09/10 September 2011 date 1–29 August 2012 date 20 July-18 August http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramadan Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Suppose a new student enrolls at your school. Her name is Le - a. How would you pronounce the child's name??? Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE! Lay - a?? NO! Lei?? Guess Again. It's pronounced 'Ledasha,' oh yes...you read it right. The dash is not silent. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. When asked about the pronunciation of the name, the mother replied, "the dash don't be silent." The mother, Latreena McQueesha, explained that "in Ebonics, 'Le - a' make more since, as when honkies calls her daughter Granola".
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Packing Peanuts for Dog Mattress I had to throw out the mattress to our dog's bed. So I used packing peanuts with a freshly laundered cover to replace it with. Works fine! By dlginlove from Saint Peters, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Make sure you use the smooth, satiny packing peanuts, NOT the dull or rough ones. The dull ones are designed to break down and deteriorate with moisture. While the packing disappearing is just a minor nuisance, the chemicals freed, when they do, can kill your pet. The smooth, satiny ones are safe for 25 years. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two mothers are talking about a friend who has just given birth to triplets. "You know, that only happens one in 120,000 times," says one. "Amazing," says the other. "How did she ever find time to do any housework?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked, "What is the Gross National Product?" His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"

» Aerial Pix of London UK






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Beware of Auto-Responders 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 8, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you, John!

We had another blizzard all morning, but according to the 
forecast, that is supposed to be the end of the snowfalls for a while.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense. --- Gertrude Stein If you want to cut down on the number of relatives who are hanging around, borrow money from the rich ones and lend money to the ones who are poor. You will never see any of them again. --- Socratex
A pair of seantors met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "but I'm a senator, so you've got to hear me out !"
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

In Mike's work for a cable-television company, he often encounters illegal hookups that drive up costs for other customers. One day he arrived at a repair job just as the homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the way to the den, where the TV was located, and then walked out to get the mail. As Mike approached the TV, he saw a note taped to the screen. It read: "Don't forget to hide the descramblers before the cable guy comes. Love, Tom."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Santa barbara Fig Tree
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Randall Travis Roberts, 20, of Davenport, FL Stole a doughnut truck OCALA, Fla. -- A man accused of stealing a doughnut truck because he was tired of walking is being held in the Marion County jail on charges of grand theft auto and marijuana possession. When officers arrived at the scene of a minor traffic accident involving the doughnut truck and another vehicle on March 31, Randall Travis Roberts allegedly admitted he stole the 2011 GMC from a spot behind a Walmart Jail records show 20-year-old Randall Travis Roberts of Davenport was arrested Thursday. He's being held on $10,500 bond. His next court date is scheduled for May 3. Ocala police say Roberts stole a truck filled with 388 boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts. He told officers he was tired of walking and wanted to sleep. Police also found 10 grams of marijuana in a plastic bag in the car, but Roberts said the drugs didn't belong to him. It is not known if he consumed any of the doughnuts.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Responders Dear Webby I am taking a business course and the instructor told us that we need an auto-responder for times, when we can't answer the mail immediately. I seem to remember, though, that you were quite adamantly against those. Is that still the case? Ann Dear Ann Yes, definitely! Intelligent responders, that deliver requested data, are OK. However, dumb nuisance responders telling you that somebody is not in the office and will respond some other time, are an unsolicited annoyance, and in many cases result in getting black-listed. After all, who wants to deal with a moron, who pesters you with stupid auto-responders? There are enough good businesses out there, who are more considerate than that. You can tell the old fossil that auto-respondrs went out of fashion in the early 90's, when email became reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter `M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Spanish Moss in Lattice Shades Porch This idea will be best where the snow does not blow. I live in Key West, FL. The hot sun just keeps on shining on my lattice laced porch. In order to keep my windows open, and block the heat, I needed a privacy shade. I bought some Spanish moss, and stuck in the the lattice holes. The moss is like an air plant. No soil needed, and with a water spray a day they flourish. Source: Selena H. By Cindy from Key West, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a long kiss, and gave her another hug and an even longer kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented: "Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Doug and Bill were at the racetrack. Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government." Bill says, "Well it could be worse." Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the government you won $600." Bill sighs, "Telling your wife."

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Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder 



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How to stop nuisance attachments 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, April 7, 2011

Obama's $35,800-per-person fund raising dinner in San Francisco, 
planned as part of the President's April 20 visit to the Bay Area,
is obviously not aimed at regular Democrat voters, but at members
of the left wing media, who don't worry about how much it costs
their employer.

Don't expect to see me there!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible." --- Saint Francis of Assisi
Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of devotion," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey, if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door", she said, as she was playfully twirling her marble rolling pin.
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

The temperature had taken an overnight plunge, and Minnesota reaffirmed its reputation as one of the nation's coldest states. Despite a wind-chill of minus 40, the steelworkers erecting a TV tower in a Minneapolis-St. Paul suburb showed up for work. By 9 a.m., a tall Texan climbed down from the tower and entered the construction trailer. He took his lunch pail from the shelf and headed for the door. "What's up?" the foreman asked. "You sick?" "Nope," the Texan replied. "Goin' home to get my jacket." "Where's home?" the foreman persisted. "Dallas," he said.
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Esther Armbrister, 20, of Miami, FL Thief hid loot under her wig Esther Armbrister (Broward Sheriff's Office / April 5, 2011) Hollywood, FL police say one theft suspect really used her noggin — but not in a good way. Officers stopped Esther Armbrister, 20, of Miami, on Monday afternoon outside the Westin Diplomat Hotel on Hollywood beach after a man who had been staying there accused her of stealing more than $1,600 in cash from his shorts pocket. In denying the theft accusation, Armbrister turned out her pants pockets and also showed an officer she wasn't hiding anything in her bra, police said. An officer did, however, find something peculiar about Armbrister's glued-on wig and upon removing it discovered 15 $100 bills and six $20 bills that had been hidden underneath, police said. Officers arrested Armbrister, and she later confessed to the crime, according to a police report of the incident. Armbrister remained in a Broward jail Tuesday night, without bond, on charges of grand theft and resisting an officer without violence.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Harriet Re: Too many attachments Dear Webby I made the mistake of showing a certain relative how to send attachments along with email. I tried stopping that by limiting the file sizes of mail to accept, but that just bungs up my mailbox on the server. I do want the letters she writes, but not an hours worth of music. Is there a way to separate that before it is downloaded? Harriet Dear Harriet Just use MailWasher to preview and read the mail on the server, without downloading it. You can send a fresh email to her, referring to the one with the big attachments, and just mark that one as to be deleted without downloading it. If you can't find any other way to stop that relative from attaching big stuff, mark it for BOUNCE. That way the sender will get an idea of what it feels like to have to wait an hour for some silly attachment to download, before she can get the mail that she is waiting for. Dear Harriet Just use MailWasher to preview and read the letter, copy the text into a new mail, and then mark that mail to be deleted. If you can't find any other way to stop that relative from attaching big stuff, mark it for BOUNCE. That way the sender will get an idea of what it feels like to have to wait an hour for some silly attachment to download, before she can get the mail that she is waiting for. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Walking downtown one day, I noticed that a music store had just opened. Inside the shop, my attention was caught by a huge oriental gong, and I went up to take a closer look. The gong was four feet in diameter. On a rope next to it hung a two-foot-long mallet with a top the size of a soft- ball. A piece of notebook paper bearing one word in large letters was taped to the center of the gong. The word was "NO!" ---------------- That reminds me.... During my University days we had two types of students, "Commuter" and "Party-Town". I was a "Commuter", mainly because I had a 5PM to 1AM night job across the nearby border, and only lived 10 miles from the University. "Party-Towners" were the residents of the dorms, frat and sorry houses within walking distance of the University. Since Party-Town was half way between my job and home, and since my bike was a fast but rather chilly ride, I usually stopped at a sorry-house to warm up. (Sorry-House is a sorority house, female version of a frat-house, where you are always greeted with either: "Sorry it's such a mess." or with "Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache.") On one of those warm-up stops a girl I knew from one of my seminars, invited me up to her room to show me her "Multilingual Talking Clock". Yes, you guessed it, it was one of those huge brass gongs. When she grabbed the mallet, I grabbed a couple of pillows. One for each ear. In that tiny, stone-walled room the noise was still awesome. A minute later voices from all over the sorry-house drifted in, all yelling in various different languages something like: "Kock it off, you airhead! It's 1:45 in the morning!" What made it really funny was a few hours later, when we were woken up, ahem, I mean interrupted in our dilligent studying, by a similar gong echoing through the building. Maria twisted my wrist to see my watch, and then screamed: "Knock it off you airhead! It's 4:50 in the morning!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Same as yesterday: Making a Cover for an Outdoor Grill With warm weather coming and lots of BBQ's, I found a old vinyl table cloth that no longer matches my color schemes. I folded it in half lengthwise, turned inside out, and stitched up both ends. Turn it back so the pretty side shows. Now I have a pretty BBQ grill cover and it's so much prettier than the ones you buy and a whole lot cheaper. Also, it's so quick and easy to make. If you don't sew, you could glue the sides with a vinyl glue. Happy grilling. By dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, You use to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a few seconds and then tried to get back to sleep. A few minutes later she said, Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to nibble and bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed covers and got out of bed. Where are you going?" she asked. "To gep my peeth"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won't leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the left." After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who's driving this car - you or your mother?"

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Sideways display 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A heart doesn't heal as fast as some other muscles, but walking is 
definitely becoming easier. With a stronger heart pumping 
the blood more effectively, the painful swelling of the feet
has been reduced in almost measurable steps every day.

I still duck-tape the heels to help the cracks heal, but 
without excessive internal pressure in the feet, the feet
are getting to be quite comfortable for walking.

If your feet are not comfortable, that could be an indication
of trouble ad probably should be checked out!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. -- Abraham Lincoln
Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. Dad works twelve hours a day so that I got a nice house and lotsa food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "I saw some suitcases. I think they are trying to escape!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A Florida officer pulls over old Mrs. Fisher because her hand signals were confusing. "Mirs Fisher," he said, "I know that your turn signal has been stuck on right-turn since you bought that car six years ago, but now your hand signals are getting a bit too confusing for us mere mortals to understand. First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer. "I decided not to turn right," she explains. "Then why the up and down?" asks the officer. "Officer," she sniffs, "I was erasing!" ----------- In California the excuse would have been, that she, or he, was drying her or his finger nails.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Terrance Banks, 41, Detroit Cab robber locked into cab DETROIT -- Authorities say a Detroit cab driver who was shot during a robbery attempt locked the suspect in his vehicle, then flagged down police. Forty-one-year-old Terrance Banks was arraigned Saturday on charges including assault with intent to murder, armed robbery and firearms violations. The ex-convict is due back in Detroit District Court on April 12. A judge set Banks' bond at $200,000, and it's unknown if he has a lawyer. Police say the 44-year-old cab driver picked up Banks on Wednesday. They say Banks shot the driver with a rifle and demanded money. The Detroit Free Press says the driver locked Banks in the back seat and flagged down a police car. Police say the driver was taken to a hospital for treatment of his wounds.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Len Re: Laptop rotated screen display Dear Webby I accidentally dropped a phone book onto my laptop keyboard, and the screen display rotated 90 degrees. Rebooting did not help. When I log on with Kim's user name, everything is normal, but as soon as I switch to my user name, the stuff on the screen is turned sideways. Help! Len Hi Len Open Control Panel Display Settings Advanced, navigate through the tabs to find the rotate display option. Depending on the brand of laptop you got, it is in the tabs in there somewhere. Have a look at Len's site! Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two fellows who had been rivals all their lives followed different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop. As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the Airport. The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly, "Oh Porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?" The Admiral approached, bowed, and said "Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making a Cover for an Outdoor Grill With warm weather coming and lots of BBQ's, I found a old vinyl table cloth that no longer matches my color schemes. I folded it in half lengthwise, turned inside out, and stitched up both ends. Turn it back so the pretty side shows. Now I have a pretty BBQ grill cover and it's so much prettier than the ones you buy and a whole lot cheaper. Also, it's so quick and easy to make. If you don't sew, you could glue the sides with a vinyl glue. Happy grilling. By dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A two-year-old daughter was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. The two-year-old kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, with her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, the child toddled up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In one job my boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent a memo saying that any paperwork left on desks would be removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to get it back. So we left all our trash paper on our desks every night. In a week, the boss had an office full of trash, nobody filled out a retrieval form, and we never heard about that policy ever again.

» Mid East History 5000 years in 90 seconds






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Display turned sideways 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Today I got a very nice "donation" via PayPal. Briefly I was
quite elated and envisioned putting a nice little dent into the 
phone bill.

Then the next letter explained....
A friend and customer is currently in Egypt, where the 
government seems to be still messing around with trying to 
control the Internet. PayPal of course objects to anybody 
messing around and didn't let him use PayPal in a less than
secure method to pay for his web hosting bill. 

So Chuck emailed a friend in the US and asked him to click
me some money. Instead of going to the online invoice, that
friend clicked me a donation and had me grinning like a fool
for a minute.

I am still happy about a paid invoice, but somehow it is not
the same as a surprise donation.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. --- Publilius Syrus (~100 BC) Education is what survives, when what has been learned, has been forgotten. --- B. F. Skinner
The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher. "Tyson," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "I don't want to hear that language in here again." After a moment, she muttered under her breath, "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too," Tyson corrected. "It means the car won't start."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
Thanks to Martin for these pictures: Click through the picture to the large version. Click through the picture to the large version. Tree'd Lion
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kisten Anise Hall, 24, in Memphis, Tessessee Woman arrested after assaulting cops rather than clean up her dog's mess MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) - A Memphis woman who was adamant about not cleaning up after her dog in a park has been charged with assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. It all started on Thursday when officers saw 24-year-old Kristen Anise Hall's pit bull defecate in a city park at Spottswood and Prescott, and then watched Hall walk on. When police told her she needed to clean up the mess, she refused and said she walked her dog there often and never scooped up after it. When an officer attempted to issue her a citation, police say Hall kicked and bit the officer's hand, apparently trying to incite her pit bull to "defend" her and attack the cop. However, the dog was smart enough and did not have to be shot. Hall was charged with disorderly conduct, assault and resisting arrest.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Len Re: Laptop rotated screen display Dear Webby I accidentally dropped a phone book onto my laptop keyboard, and the screen display rotated 90 degrees. Rebooting did not help. When I log on with Kim's user name, everything is normal, but as soon as I switch to my user name, the stuff on the screen is turned sideways. Help! Len Hi Len Open Control Panel Display Settings Advanced, navigate through the tabs to find the rotate display option. Depending on the brand of laptop you got, it is in the trabs in tehre somewhere. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Pat Murphy like I do, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Wire Hangers Into Scarf Hangers Scarves are all the rage now and I wear them almost daily. I have always had a scarf collection, but with the fashion, I like to keep them handy. I hang them on wire clothes hangers that I have bent to form an "O" shape. I hang my scarves on them and then hang the wire scarf hangers on the wall. It makes them much easier to locate. By pamphyila from CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! All that beer, and only such a small boat for a urinal !"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The CIA lost track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words,'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in the first bar he sees. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, across the street. There's Murphy the Plumber next door. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives on 24 East Broadmoor in Dublin, on the second floor. But,.... from what I hear he's vacationing in Hawaii right now. You'll have to ask Murphy the travel agent to get the phone number of the hotel he's staying at.

» Beautiful Fountains






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Don't Get Caught! 


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Email address to identify a subscription 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 4, 2011

We hd  beautiful, sunny Sunday, and some of the snow
actually melted. Some of the drifts in my yard are definitely 
losing height, but in front of the garage, it still looks grim.
Hopefully tomorrow some of that will melt, or at least soften up.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. --- Socratex Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them. --- Suzanne Necker Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. --- Albert Schweitzer
Selma and Irving receive a wedding invitation in the mail. Since it was many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. All was fine until they reached the last line. Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this "RSVP" mean?" Selma was at a loss, as for the life of her, she simply couldn't remember. Finally, she cries out: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with extraordinary performance. "This is a very smart dog," the man commented. "Not THAT smart," said one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Young Red Shoulder Hawk
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Don Carr, 29 in Boca Raton, Florida Test Drives turned into rip-offs A 29-year-old Boca Raton man was arrested Tuesday night by two police departments after police say a test drive turned into a joy ride, twice. Don Carr, already on probation for grand theft, was charged with grand theft and larceny. Police say on Monday Don Carr was at Carmax, on High Ridge Road in Boynton Beach, looking into a 2011 Silver two-door Cadillac CTS. Carr went for a test drive with a salesperson. The salesperson was required to drive the car out of the security gates and then could change seats with the customer. Once the two left the car to switch seats, Carr jumped in and took off before the salesperson could get in, a Boynton Beach police report says. Carr sped off heading north on High Ridge Road but was able to be located by the On Star system. The next afternoon, around the same time, Carr told a salesperson with Mercedes Benz of Delray Beach that he was interested in a 2007 Mercedes Benz E350. The salesperson showed Carr a white Mercedes being worked on and Carr said he wanted to test drive it, a Delray Beach police report says. Carr, accompanied by a woman, and the salesperson drove around the parking lot and then Carr turned off the car. After the salesperson got out, he continued to speak with Carr and the woman through the open passenger door, the report says. Carr then pushed the button for the Keyless Go system, fled out of the parking lot and sped toward Wallace Road. The salesperson tried driving after him in a golf cart but lost sight of him. A few hours later, another employee of the dealership was driving near Interstate 95 and Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard and found the white Mercedes parked on the side of the exit ramp, the report says.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jan Re: Address for McAfee account Hi Webby, glad you are feeling better.I have a question for you.Do you need a email address on both computers to get McAfee on both?My laptop does not have a email address only internet.Also what do you think about AVG. for protection? Jan Dear Jan An email address is not tied to any certain machine. You can check your email from a cyber-cafe or via a friend's computer. McAfee just asks what email address you used last time to register or update. They could just as easily ask for your phone number or user name. Your email address seems to be the easiest to remember.. Just look up what address you used last time, or which one you are using to register now, and file that somewhere, or write it on the back of your monitor. Then, whenever you are updating one of your subscriptions, look it up and type it in. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Paper Plates for Packing Plates I am getting ready to move and packing up my dishes. I have packed my plates between paper plates that I got from the dollar store. They take up less room than newspaper. When I get to my new place, I can just put the plates in the cupboard without washing them once again, and the paper plates are used over again for lunch time. By Sandy from Nova Scotia http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Shortly after returning home from a trip to Sea World in Florida, a friend went shopping for swimsuits with her children. When she emerged from the dressing room in a contrasting black-and-white suit, her four-year-old daughter exclaimed her approval: "Oh, Mommy, I love it! You look just like Shamu, the fat whale!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my pee-mail."

» Animal Tracks






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Firefox for posting 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 3, 2011

We got 40 cm (16 inches) of snow. Mother nature really 
seems to want to rub it in, that there is NO Gullible warming.
OK, OK, I never believed that BS anyway, so can we have 
some bikini weather now? Please?

I did walk downtown and back. Didn't see any other walkers.
Apparently everybody else was too disgusted and parked
on their couches instead.

Naturally, the sidewalks had not been cleared, but the roads
were nicely packed and often the wet snow turned to mush
or melted with generous applications of salt. Since there was
hardly any traffic, I walked on the road. What little bit of 
traffic I saw, was slow and politely gave me a good margin.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Eat your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong, just like Popeye. Then you can get a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl. --- Socratex
The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to Paul was free, his male ego soared. Soon they were chatting pleasantly, and she told him it was her first flight. "Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously. "And you look just like my granddad."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

For a holiday, Patty Murphy from Dublin decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin. "We're saved!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!" "Sure," said the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Grevillias
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charlene Johnson, Okeechobee, Florida Traffic stop reveals drunk woman driving naked INDIANTOWN — Deputies anticipated a detailed traffic stop investigation when they pulled over a driver and smelled both alcohol and marijuana in her car. But before they could proceed, they had to ask the driver put her clothes on.One deputy said he noticed Charlene Johnson drifting in and out of her lane as she traveled west on Warfield. When Johnson pulled over at the corner of Southwest Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard and the deputy saw she was naked, he called a female deputy to assist, according to the arrest affidavit. From the neck up, deputies said they could see Johnson's hazel-colored eyes were bloodshot and brimming with tears. They later determined the bloodshot eyes likely had to do with her blood-alcohol content test results, which were .182 and .169, both at least twice that of the state's .08 legal limit. Johnson told them she was crying because of an argument she had with her boyfriend in West Palm Beach. But from the neck down, Johnson had no explanation as to why she was driving nude. It's not known whether Johnson started her trip in the buff. Deputies said she had a shirt and a pair of shorts on the driver's side floor. However, she struggled to find the clothes and to put them on after deputies said they instructed her to do so. Johnson stepped out of the car with clothes on but with her balance off. Three times, the deputies had to catch the 5-foot-10, 140-pound motorist. Inside her Ford, they found 46.5 grams of marijuana and several prescription pills, according to the affidavit. Johnson was charged with possession of marijuana over 20 grams and drug paraphernalia and driving under the influence. She posted $11,500 bail Wednesday at the Martin County Jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Randall Re: Firefox for posting Dear Webby Thanks for the quick response to my question. I have another question. Its about Firefox, A friend of mine said to use that and that would solve my problem with my postings, is he passing bad information to me or is he on the mark. thanks again for any assistance to my query.... Get well soon but dont rush it... Randall Dear Randall FireFox is indeed the modern standard. I have not used any other browser for years, and have not had any problem with FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Recently Dave wandered off in search of the men's room in a restaurant and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee. "Excuse me; I need to use the restroom," he said, gesturing toward the doors, "Which one should I use?" "Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men." "Bronco and Cactus are our private dining rooms."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Paper Plates for Packing Plates I am getting ready to move and packing up my dishes. I have packed my plates between paper plates that I got from the dollar store. They take up less room than newspaper. When I get to my new place, I can just put the plates in the cupboard without washing them once again, and the paper plates are used over again for lunch time. By Sandy from Nova Scotia http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
What's a million years like Little Johnny asked God "What's a million years like to you?" Knowing that Johnny couldn't understand eternity God said "A million years is like a minute to me." Johnny: Wow! What's a million dollars like? God: A million dollars is like a penny to me. Johnny: Gee God you're so generous. Can I have one of your pennies? God: Sure Johnny, just hang on a minute till I find something that small.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too"

» Pictures in the clouds






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Audio Sockets on laptops 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 2, 2011

Thank you, Richard!


Don't worry about Windows L
That was the 2011 April Fools Joke.

If you DO need a Windows LOOK on Linux, that is no problem.
You don't have to wait for Windows L.

The instructions to set that up are here: Ubuntu with W7 Skin
It is quite popular, when people need Linux performance and 
reliability, but need to make it appear, as if they were 
running Windows 7. It is also a favorite with IT and Security
staff. To the casual observer, it looks as if they were running W7,
but of course all Windows viruses and malware fly right by
and don't stop at their machines at all.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Man who sink in woman's arms, soon have arms in woman's sink. --- Confucius Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don't reach them until they're in their 40s. --- Socratex
The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?" The new member replied, "Yes, sure. How about my mother-in-law?"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

Thanks to Rose for this: Having lost weight over the past few years, I was discarding things from my wardrobe that no longer fit. My seven-year-old niece was watching as I held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," I said. "I must have worn these when I was 183." My niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Eric Homen, 23 in Middleton, Mass Robber tripped by artificial leg MIDDLETON, Mass. (AP) -- A Massachusetts man who used his prosthetic leg to take down a robber says he didn't have time to think, he just reacted. Stephen Cornell peered through the window of his neighborhood convenience store in Middleton on Wednesday and saw a man pointing a gun at the owner. He tells The Salem News he intended to tackle the robber when he left JC Grill & Pizza, but instead stuck out his artificial leg and tripped him first. Cornell and owner Edson Andrade disarmed the thief and dragged him back into the store in a chokehold and sat on him until police arrived. The weapon was a pellet gun. The suspect, 23-year-old Eric Homen, pleaded not guilty to charges including armed robbery.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Erin Re: Speaker connectors Dear Webby On my old laptop I plug the pink microphone plug into the socket on the side, that has a red ring, and the cable going to the house stereo goes into the socket with the green ring. On the new laptop, when I plug things in the same way, the microphone works, but the speakers don't, except for the system error beeps. Since those work, I know the stereo works. Some music is coming through occasionally on the built in little squeakers, but never on the external speakers. Why is no other sound working right? Erin Dear Erin That seems like a typical W7 laptop. Look for the third audio socket, with a blue or black marking. Traditionally, that would be an input line, but with W7 that line can be assigned for other things, like external speakers. Move your stereo plug over from the green socket to the blue or black one, and most likely you will get pretty good sound on your stereo speakers. I have been told that true W7 fanatics can accomplish the same by mousing around and cussing for an hour or two, but that the results are no different than moving the speaker line to the "illegal" blue socket. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

The bathroom scale manufacturer was very proud of the new model being introduced at the trade fair. "Listen to these features: it's calibrated to one-one-hundredth of a pound; it can measure your height as well, in feet or meters; it gives you a readout via an LED or human-voice simulator; and that's not all..." "Very impressive," interrupted a none-too-slender sales rep for a chain of home furnishings stores, "but before I place an order I'll have to try it out." "Be my guest," said the manufacturer graciously. No sooner had the sales rep taken his place on the scale than a loud, very human-sounding voice issued forth: "One at a time, please, one at a time!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Perfume Pages for Sachet My daughter has tons of fashion magazines with those glossy high-end perfume samples. Besides their obvious use, a quick, one-use product try, she found that saving them in baggies until ready to give them a whirl helps them last indefinitely. I like to put them in dresser drawers and the drawers, shelves and under bed storage boxes my bed linens and comforters are in. They're also great for keeping that mustiness away from out-of-season clothing bins and in holiday decoration storage containers. By Candy from Hollywood, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative." "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A sarcastic voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah, right."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy Arthur, "How come you aren't married?" Arthur: "I haven't found the right woman yet." George: "So what are you looking for?" Arthur: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and house-keeper, and she's got to know how to handle money, a really nice and pleasant personality is a must - and money, she's got to have money...and a home, a nice big house, is what she has to have." George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU." Arthur: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy."

» April Showers






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Confusion over McAfee discounts 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 1, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Microsoft announced today that there will be no W7-SP1 or SP2,
just like there were no SP's for VISTA,  since nobody, except certain 
sales people, really like Windows 7.

Instead Microsoft will be working on Windows L, a Linux clone.
The prototype shown to the press seems to be relying heavily on 
MacBuntu, a Mac look-alike skin popular with Linux fans pretending
to conform in Mac-Only businesses, and the result actually looks 
more like Mac OS X than Windows 7 or Vista. However, that may 
change by the time the BETA version is released in April 2012. 
It definitey is much faster than Windows 7.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. --- Kin Hubbard Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. --- Anthony Burgess People want economy and they will pay any price to get it. --- Lee Iacocca The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it. --- Benjamin Disraeli
After making a silly mistake, an instructor tried to excuse his absentmindedness by telling the class of his plans to propose marriage to his girlfriend later that day. A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

When my neighbor's 3-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. His mother was not so pleased. She turned to her mother and said, "I'm surprised! Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Her mother just grinned and then replied, "Oh, I remember ...."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles Zingo, 48, in Milville, Delaware Liquor Thief Found Passed Out On Street A man found unconscious on an street is charged with breaking into a liquor store and stealing bottles of alcohol. Forty-eight-year-old Charles Zingo of Millville is charged with burglary and theft, according to Delaware State Police. He is being held on $6,300 cash bond. Troopers say surveillance footage shows Zingo throwing a rock and breaking a large window at Banks Wine and Spirits in Millville, then reaching in and taking liquor bottles. Authorities say Zingo was found unconscious on the street by OceanView police and arrested. Officers say he had a duffle bag with liquor bottles in it.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kate Re: McAfee discounts Dear Webby I have eyed your links to McAfee discounts, but I am a bit wary. Last time I renewed McAfee, it cost me almost $100. Also, I have a hunch, that I have more subscriptions than I need. It's a pretty big company. Can you trust them? Kate Dear Kate Yes, you CAN trust them. For the slickest possible update of your subscription, close all programs except one browser. Yes, definitely close all email related prorams. Then click on the McAfee link in the left side margin. That will get you a $40 - $50 discount right there. Sign in with the email address and password you used last time. Now you will notice a pleasant surprise: 1 - 3 machines! Even with the $40 - $50 discount, your subscription is good for up to three machines. You don't have to get a separate subscription for your laptop! Check if you have any old, unused subscriptions still in your account. Use those up first, before paying for new ones. Once you got that clarified, let it do the installation. It will carefully clean out any old versions and then install the newest one. On XP that goes nice and fast. On W7 just ignore it. It will take time, but usually you don't have to hit any keys to continue. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Bob and his wife have structured conversations: firstly, she gives him her opinion, then she gives him his opinion.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Perfume Pages for Sachet My daughter has tons of fashion magazines with those glossy high-end perfume samples. Besides their obvious use, a quick, one-use product try, she found that saving them in baggies until ready to give them a whirl helps them last indefinitely. I like to put them in dresser drawers and the drawers, shelves and under bed storage boxes my bed linens and comforters are in. They're also great for keeping that mustiness away from out-of-season clothing bins and in holiday decoration storage containers. By Candy from Hollywood, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are only 1/100th of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "That would be about four slices of roast beef in the deli where I worked."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After ten years of twice weekly therapy, Mia decided to ask her psychiatrist if she had made any progress. His answer, though very brief and succinct, absolutely devastated her. He said:"'No hablo ingles."

» Botanical Bonanza






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Winter Blows 


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Privacy Concerns 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 31, 2011

There are times when quitting smoking is a lot tougher than at
other times. Tonight seems to be one of the tougher times.
So far I am only chewing pencils, pens, screwdrivers, etc.
and wondering if this is how it feels, when one is going nuts.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens." --- Abraham Lincoln
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an announcement on the web site were the reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw and knocked around a bit, then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line: "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store till everybody goes home!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, an RCMP officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly nuns -- two in the front seat and three in the back - all except for the driver wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly ... Twenty-two miles an hour!" the nun says quite proudly. The RCMP officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the Higway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask ... is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks with concern. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off that awful gravel road, with the 149 signs." There was some crackling in the officer's radio, then the dispatcher's voice came through: Whatever you do, do NOT let those nuns get onto the 401 !"
Thanks to betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kevon Whitfield, 19, in Clifton, Ohio Pizza Robbers leave phone of the hook Police are saying that a phone left off the hook led to a local pizza parlor employee overhearing a plan to rob a delivery driver. Police say that someone called Topper's Pizza in Clifton early Monday morning and placed a large order. The customer apparently forgot to hang up the phone, and the employee who took the order stayed on the line heard a plan to rob the delivery driver for the order. The worker called 911, and an undercover police officer replaced the normal delivery driver. When the undercover officer delivered the pizzas, the suspects took the pizza and ran. 19-year-old Kevon Whitfield and a 14-year-old juvenile were arrested in the 900 block of Mound Street, and both are now charged with robbery. Police say other suspects were arrested in a West End apartment building, but aren't specifying how many were arrested or on what charges..
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Randall Re: Privacy Dear Webby Glad to hear you are on the road to recovery. I will keep you in my prayers for a complete recovery. My question to you this morning is: Is there a way to block your activity on the internet from being posted on the internet? No i am not a freak or crook, i parted ways with a friend of mine who i thought was a friend,and now i posted something on a website that i am sure she is not a member of and she pasted it on facebook ( i canceled my facebook account months ago,and some family members in another state said that they had seen this person post my family business on facebook. I did a search of my name this morning and was shocked at what came up in the search!!!! or now do I have to worry about what I post on any website in the future? Thanks for any assistance you come up with..... Randall Dear Randall Yes, some people can be quite a nuisance. Whatever you PUBLISH, is public knowledge, and anybody may repeat it elsewhere. Copyright restrictions apply only to art, not to gossip. If you want to provide access to data to just a select few people, you can password the location. However, if you let somebody else take care of the passwording, like for example Yahoo, and that company lets anybody join, then there is no point in the passwording and you are just wasting time. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cake Decorating Tool Holder While learning how to decorate cakes online, I thought of a way of organizing some of my supplies. I used two silverware baskets that were saved from several old dishwashers. My husband found one basket inside an old dishwasher sitting next to a dumpster in the apartment complex. And other one was from a broken down dishwasher in my apartment which was replaced with a new one. The second basket is used for my decorating tubes and I use a piece of wax paper underneath to catch the drips. Now I don't have to spend any money to buy a cake decorating bag holder. By MCW from Lewiston, NY http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Dr Bubba Trailerjack, who bought his degree from Menthol State Unifercity, summed it up quite succinctly: "You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an intel inside. How do I get that one out? " Tech Support: "It's actually fairly easy if you had the IQ upgraded lately. Have you had that done?" Customer: "No, I don't think so. I'm always one of the last to get the new stuff." Tech Support: "OK, then go tell your manager that I said you qualify for an IQ upgrade."

» ShutterBug Special






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Inatieff 
My dog's view of the Liberal Leader of Canada



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Keyboard for laptop 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I was amazed at all the letters I got telling me to slow down, 
and that two and a half miles are way too much this early 
after a heart operation. OK, OK, I'll slow down.
I scaled today's walk back to two miles, and got the same
planned for tomorrow.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. --- Aesop
A man comes home late one night, drunk. "Where have you been?" asks his wife. "In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and even a golden urinal!" This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife. She calls the Golden Bar. "Do you have golden chairs?" "Yes." "Do you have golden glasses?" "Yes." "Do you have golden beer?" "Yes." "Do you have a golden urinal?" "Hold on." On the other end, she hears "Hey Bob! I think we have a line on the guy who messed up your tuba!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked. Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I like them." Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. St Stephen's Dome in Vienna
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a speeder in Saguenay, Quebec 3600 + Speeding ticket A driver in Saguenay, Que. is facing more than $3,600 in fines after being caught driving more than 140 kilometres an hour over the speed limit. Police caught the 23-year-old late Wednesday night driving 233 km/h in a 90 km/h zone in a Dodge SX 2.0. Police had set up a speed trap in the Laterrière neighbourhood after residents complained about street racing on nearby roads. The man was fined $2,137 for speeding, $274 for having worn out tires, and another $1,267 for endangering the life of his passenger. He received 40 demerit points, and could also lose his licence for the next two years. The driver was caught on Talbot Boulevard in the Laterrière neighbourhood in the south end of Saguenay. He was not under the influence of alcohol.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Renee Re: Keyboard Dear Webby I am going to follow your advice and get a proper keyboard for my laptop. Typing on the built n keyboard ruins my wrists, plusit is too slow for my patience. Which or what keyboard do you recommend? Renee Dear Renee I buy DELL 18" wide keyboards, plain, no frills. They just barely fit into my 18" wide case, are reasonaly quiet, and last a fairly long time, before I wear the letters off the keys. Installation is simple. I pry the CAPS LOCK key off, so that I can epoxy it onto the coin-op copyer at Walmart, plug the keyboard in and start working. No fuss, no installation CD. Just plug it in and it works. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

Consider this dialogue between a museum guard and a group of tourists gaping at dinosaur bones in a natural history museum. "Can you tell us how old the dinosaur bones are?" one asks. "They are 3 million, four years and six months old," the guard says authoritatively. "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so definitely?" "Well, the bones were 3 million years old when I started working here, and that was 4 1/2 years ago."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Write Expiration Dates On Your Calendar When you sign up for a special telephone or cable deal, it can be difficult to remember when your deal is about to run out before you get stuck with a much larger bill. In order to avoid this, try putting a sticky note reminder on your calendar the month before the deal is set to expire. This way you have time to decide whether or not you will keep it and pay the higher premium or call to change to a lower priced service option. By Marie from West Dundee http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An art collector was on a stroll through the city. In the doorway of a deli he noticed a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer and did a double take. The saucer was extremely old and very valuable. The collector walked casually into the store and offered to buy the cat for $2. "I'm sorry," said the owner, "but the cat isn't for sale." The collector pleaded. "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you $50 for that cat." "Sold," said the owner, and he handed over the cat. The art collector paused. "For the 50 bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." "Sorry buddy," said the owner, "but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold 68 stray cats."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
During her stay at an expensive hotel in Sue woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. She called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When she looked at the charge slip, she was instantly furious. Sue calledroom service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel,but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end cooly explained........."Ma'am, I believe you are complaining about your room number."

» Fascinating Fotos






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Digital pictures of low quality 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Thanks L. Byron!


I managed two and a half miles today. Towards the end of it, 
I had to slow down and was wishing, that I had taken the 
Nitroglycerin along, but I made it without having to stop and 
lean on the scenery. 

The swelling on the feet has gone down, and thanks to the 
miracle power of Duck Tape, most of the heel cracks have 
healed. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand. --- Leonardo da Vinci
Valuable scientific data. Two proposed new additions to the periodic table (from Chemistry class)elements: Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180+/-50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: Good methane source. Some specimens are able to produce large quantities especially at inappropriate times. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Lorikeets
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Patrick Williams of Adams County, Miss. Man fleeing police falls through apt. ceiling naked HATTIESBURG, Miss. - It was a normal Tuesday morning until a man in his birthday suit crashed through the ceiling of an unsuspecting woman. A man was running from police when he crashed through a woman's ceiling. He was completely nude. "Well I was asleep in my bed and hear this loud crashing noise," Foxgate resident Kaliegh Townsend said. Startled by the noise, Townsend got out of bed to investigate. She received a rude awakening. "He was naked," Townsend said. "There's this guy standing in the middle of my living room, and there's a big gaping hole in my ceiling." Townsend screamed for the man to leave, but the man wanted to borrow a pair of shorts. Townsend kept telling him to leave, and he bolted out the front door. "Then, he gets halfway out the door and runs back in screaming at me just to borrow a pair of shorts." Townsend said. "So, finally I get him to leave, and he grabs my jacket and steals it. He wraps it around him and runs out the door." According to Townsend, the man was staying in a nearby apartment. The man crawled into the attic, busted through the fire wall and fell into their apartment. Lamar County officals say the intruder's name is Patrick Williams of Adams County. He was convicted in 2007 for possession of cocaine, and in 2010, a warrant was issued for his arrest because of failure to report to his probation officer. Lamar County officials say they have since captured Williams. So, what about the hole in Townsend's ceiling? And her jacket? "They returned it and asked if I would like it back, and I said 'no,'" Townsend said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Christine Re: Poor picture quality Dear Webby first, I love those snowy trees. Looks like heaven to me. And congratulations! walking that distance. Remember not to push the river of wellness upstream? Of course you do. Here is another of those birds I took a while back. But my friend, I haven't got the foggiest idea what AOLing might be. It's way beyond my technical know-how. But all my pictures are taken the same way, except at times I zoom in. What is different about the blue trees, that you liked? I can see what you mean by the white frame around them. I will crop it off and send them again, but in my opinion, they are too fuzzy to begin with and the quality not really good. I just wanted you to see them. They are called "lorikeets", pesky little blighters and not afraid of any bird, even crows. Hugs, Christine Dear Christine Yes, this last batch is better! "AOLing" refers to downgrading pictures, so that people on AOL or other slow connections could send and receive them. AOL even had it's own color palette. While everybody else used 16 Million colors, AOLers were restricted to just 219 colors. Heavy-handed lossy JPG compression and wide margins were other methods to cut down picture size. I am glad to say that AOL is not doing that any more, but they did for many years and the term has stuck. Many graphics programs and even cameras still let you mess with the JPG compression ratio, and they suggest a compromise between Highest Quality and Smallest File Size. JPG compression is "Lossy Compression". It washes color depth out of the picture. Once those pixels have been thrown away, you can never get them back. So it is best to check all your graphics programs and make sure each is set to save files at "Highest Quality". You can always weed out pictures if you need more space, but it is usually impossible to go back and re-take old pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "That's strange" said the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Measure Oil Before Honey Whenever a recipe calls for honey, first measure out the oil for the recipe (or if it doesn't call for oil, just spread a little oil all over the measuring cup). Then measure out the honey, and it should come out of the cup like a charm! By estypesty from Baltimore, MD http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Three old pilots walking on the ramp. The first one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one yells in reply, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one hollers back, "So am I. Let's go get a beer!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
From Ms Myrna What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

» Intl Atomic Energy






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Use Picasa to organize pictures 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 28, 2011

Today I felt I could dare going for a walk, so I bundled up 
comfortably, checked which way the wind was blowing, and
walked around the block. That's when I realized, I should have 
taken the camera along. 

Even though the wind was nasty and there was no sun, the
frosty trees looked too pretty for not sharing.

So I got the camera and walked around the block again, and  
this time took those pictures for you. Since heart and lungs
were cooperating, I walked a bit further than planned, and
got almost two miles together. 

The feet are still swollen and sore, but thanks to sanding them
a bit every day, they are getting better. Tomorrow I will try
for two and a half miles!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." --- Franklin P. Jones
Coming out of church, Mrs. Smith asked her husband, "Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?" "I didn't notice," admitted Mr. Smith. "And that dress Mrs. Davis was wearing," continued Mrs. Smith, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the proper outfit for a mother of two." "I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Smith. "Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Smith. "A lot of good it does you to go to church!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" Doc asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," Doc said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime!"
Managed to go for a walk today, then went again after getting my camera. Click through the picture to the large version. Click through the picture to the large version. Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kevin Lee Cokayne, 24, Man named Cokayne arrested for...drug dealing The story you are about to read is true. The names have not been changed because otherwise it wouldn’t be that interesting. The Fairfax County police on Tuesday arrested a man named Kevin Lee Cokayne and charged him with dealing drugs. The police were looking to acquire Cokayne, so they went to a house on Franklin Farm Road in the Herndon area and found Cokayne in a rented apartment in the basement, according to a search warrant affidavit filed in court . As the undercover detective walked downstairs and discovered Cokayne, the detective asked if he could search the apartment. That was no good for Cokayne, who told the detective, “I don’t see why you want to waste your time for an eighth of weed. It’s a misdemeanor,” according to the affidavit. So the cops got a search warrant for the home of Cokayne. But apparently Cokayne was selling marijuana, not cocaine, the court documents indicate. Police found a safe with marijuana, a wooden box with marijuana, two jars containing marijuana, a smoking device with marijuana, a digital scale, and “records and documents for Kevin Cocaine [sic],” a search inventory reveals. Cokayne, 24, was charged with two felony counts of distributing marijuana. On what appears to be his Facebook page, he has a picture of an eight-ball. We could not make this up.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lori Re: Picasa Dear Webby I am so glad you are feeling better. Thoughts and prayers on your speedy recovery. In reference to Jai, who needed to find pictures on his computer, I think it would be much easier to just download Picasa. It will search the hard drive for all pictures. It also makes it incredibly easy to email your pics or send them off to be printed. Here is the link for easy access http://picasa.google.com/ Once again, stay healthy--I enjoy your letter so much each morning with my coffee. Hugs, Lori Thanks Lori Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

At 75 Millie still walked down to the park every day, sat on "HER" bench and fed old bread from the old folks home kitchen to the birds. One day she picked up a whole loaf that had gone past it's prime instead of the buns she usually got. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each bird with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of dumb birds that could find food anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. She smiled at him and exclaimed:" That is an excellent idea!" Then she handed him the half loaf of bread she still had, and said: "Here, you bring it to them."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Post-It to Clean a Keyboard A few years ago I thought I was so bright when I cleaned my keyboard with the edge of an index card. That is completely outdated. Today I learned to use the sticky edge of a Post It. I got gunk out of there I didn't even know I had brought near my computer. Try it. You'll be amazed that something so simple, works so great. Source:Tip in a Yahoo news article. By MartyD http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ An ordinary vacuum cleaner works even better. You don't have to reach in between the keys. Anything that fell into the cracks, can be easily sucked out with vacuum. You don't need any fine crevice tools, even just the hose is enough. Fitst vacuum the keyboard just dry, as is, wipe the keys with a fairly wet sponge or micro-fiber rag, then vacuum it dry. It just takes a few seconds per keyboard. Have FUN! Dearwebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once." "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?" "Well, I don't know about yours, but MY mother did."

» Russian Aurora Borealis






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Finding specific pictures on the hard drive 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, March 27, 2011

Thanks, Conrad!
Thanks Elizabeth!

"No boots on the ground in Libya!" Yeah, right. 
Just sneakers and sandals. The 1200 troops are not wearing
their regular uniforms, same as the rebels are also disguised
as innocent civilians, even though they carry machine guns
and grenade launchers. 

Arresting a machine gun carrying innocent civilian is an atrocity,
bombing a truck convoy, that might potentially harass the
poor, innocent, machine gun carrying civilian, that is just 
humanitarian work, especially if the civilian is a member of 
Al Quaeda and / or the Islamic Brotherhood. 
Aren't those the good guys, according to the White House?

Well, the US, British and French troops and air attacks have
successfully pushed back the enemys of Al Quaeda,
and Obama is happy about that.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. --- Socratex Those men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight, they should do it out of sight of women. ---Liz Taylor
A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" he asked. The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A child was on his first visit to the country at his grandparents' ranch and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard. He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was making breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come and see! One of the chickens is blooming!"
Click through the picture to the large version. Ajanta caves, India
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chad A. Baxa and Rhonda F. Wilson in Lincoln, Nebraska Fussy counterfeiters A man and woman who police say paid for a pizza with a pair of fake $5 bills Wednesday called the restaurant and complained it was too doughy, police say. A manager at the Pizza Hut already had called police, and shortly after Chad A. Baxa and Rhonda F. Wilson got their replacement pizza, officers went to Baxa's mobile home in west Lincoln to question the pair. Officer Katie Flood said police searched the trailer at 2340 W. O St. and found a pouch with four fake $5 bills in the kitchen and Wilson, 47, of Raymond, hiding in a bedroom. Baxa, 31, and Wilson were jailed on suspicion of possessing a forged instrument and first-degree forgery. Baxa also was arrested on suspicion of failing to comply with police and resisting arrest, Flood said. Police say he ran inside after an officer told him to take his hand from his pocket.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jai Re: Finding lost pictures Dear Webby Hope you are improving as each day passes... I have a problem with my pc, or rather myself involved with my pc. Seems years back I loaded a bunch of photos (of my now dead Arabian horse) onto my pc. I forgot them, and just discovered them recently. I neglected to note where they were, and now cannot find them again. I need to get to them as I need to do a format, and do not want to lose them. Do you have any idea how to find them? I have no idea what name they are under, so cannot do a search for them. Thanks loads, you always know how to do stuff we cannot seem to do. I appreciate you so much. Jai Dear Jai Make a folder in the root directory or some easy to find location, and call it AllPix Do a search for *.jpg and drag them all to C:\AllPix View the C:\AllPix directory in Thumbnail mode and locate those horse pictures. When you got them, drag them to an easy to find and remember location. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

During a readiness exerciseBob and Jim were guarding the entrance to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept. When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it. "I don't see why I have to show you my ID," the pilot snapped. "After all, it is my plane." "Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane," replied Jim, "but it's sitting in my garage, and if you don't change your attitude right now, you will never see it again!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Coffee Filters Instead Of Paper Towels Save on paper towels by using round coffee filters instead. They are the size of your hand which is the area you generally use on a paper towel. You can buy filters unbleached too, if you prefer. You get plenty per pack for a dollar and they have a million uses. As I use them I just set out a new pile of them on the counter so they are right where I need them. Source: I changed coffee pots and had plenty left over that I just started to grab them. By darli1115 from Chicago, IL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ You can trade filters at most coupon trading pages. For cleaning, just about anything works better than unused coffee filters. Best are MicroFiber cloths. The claims you read about them, are true. I have a stack I bought in the mid 90's, and they are as good as new. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually. Liz: I'm the examiner!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do that."

» An incredible Creature






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Finding lost pictures 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, March 26, 2011

Friday it was foggy, frosty and snowing. The trees and bushes
would have looked quite nice with all that thick frost, if the sun
had broken through. 

The wind shifted to the East and filled in the low areas between
the snow drifts. No gullible warming here in Alberta. 
Actually, it looks exactly like 70's style climate, with too 
much snow to melt before April.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. --- Mark Twain The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. --- Dudley Moore
The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced. Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over. They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it and had already done that once.
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

In bygone days, a thin man insulted a fat man. The fat man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols. On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair advantage held by the thin man because he was a much smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution. "Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body," he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit outside the chalk lines, we won't count."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lebain Preston, 40, in Foley, Alabama Man who served 16 years for stealing six-pack, $29 arrested again for similar offense in Foley FOLEY, Alabama -- A Foley man who spent 16 years in jail after robbing an Opelika convenience store at knifepoint in 1992 was arrested Monday on a charge that he did the same thing at a Tom Thumb gas station in Foley. "It’s almost as if he wanted to get caught," Lt. David White of the Foley Police Department said Tuesday. "He looked right at the camera when he walked into the store." In the 1992 incident, Lebain Preston stole a six-pack of beer and took $29 in small bills while drunk. He was sentenced to 23 years in that case and was paroled in 2008, court records indicate. On Monday, the 40-year-old allegedly took a 12-pack and $37 from the Tom Thumb on Ala. 59, White said. In this case, like the previous one, "it appears that he had been drinking," White said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jai Re: Finding lost pictures Dear Webby Hope you are improving as each day passes... I have a problem with my pc, or rather myself involved with my pc. Seems years back I loaded a bunch of photos (of my now dead Arabian horse) onto my pc. I forgot them, and just discovered them recently. I neglected to note where they were, and now cannot find them again. I need to get to them as I need to do a format, and do not want to lose them. Do you have any idea how to find them? I have no idea what name they are under, so cannot do a search for them. Thanks loads, you always know how to do stuff we cannot seem to do. I appreciate you so much. Jai Dear Jai Make a folder in the root directory and call it AllPix Do a search for *.jpg and drag them all to C:\AllPix View the C:\AllPix directory in Thumbnail mode and locate those horse pictures. When you got them, drag them to an easy to find and remember location. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one - none of that three wishes jazz, OK?" The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying, and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie was taken aback a bit, but after some thought said, "No, I don't think I can do that; think about the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement and steal and concrete that would be needed. I'm sorry, you will have to choose another wish." The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why do they get upset at us so easily, what are their true desires and needs? What do they mean when they say "Nothing!". Basically what makes them tick?!" The genie stared at him and blinked a couple times. "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Extra Earrings as Push Pins Have you ever lost an earring rendering the other one useless? Try using your old earrings or mismatched ones as thumb tacks on a bulletin board. Not only does it give a funky eclectic vibe but it also serves a purpose. By abrupt_silence http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A theologian and an astronomer were talking together one day. The astronomer said that after reading widely in the field of religion, he had concluded that all religion could be summed up in a single phrase: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," he said, with a bit of smugness, knowing that his field is so much more complex. After a brief pause, the theologian replied that after reading widely in the area of astronomy he had concluded that all of it could be summed up in a single phrase also. "Oh, and what is that?" the astronomer inquired. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star; how I wonder what you are!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?" "Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?" "There are so many soldiers with beards, but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards." "Oh, that's because most men, who go to Heaven, get there by a close shave."

» Freeze






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Copying one paragraph only 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 25, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Now there are 28 countries ganging up on Gadafi, 
supposedly enforcing a No-Fly Zone. The few planes he had, 
have all been destroyed on the ground by mid week, but the
way the news get twisted, those 28 countries are relly worried,
that ol Gadafi might put on his sandals and whoop them!

Wherever Gadafi's cops and military interfere with looting
and destruction and other peaceful opposition demonstrations, 
they get attacked with Coalition jets, missiles and artillery, 
by 28 countries. He really has them worried now, and the
prime topic in Washington and Brussels now is figuring out
a safe exit strategy.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. --- David T. Wolf Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings. --- Evan Esar Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. --- Blore's Razor
An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?" The woman turns to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!" The patrolman said, "May I see your license?" The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave him her license. The patrolman said, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the most absentminded woman I've ever met." The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's sitting on the remote?"
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Crystal Ivory, in Riviera beach, Florida Woman drives off in Riviera Beach police cruiser after being handcuffed in back seat RIVIERA BEACH — Like a scene out of an action film, police say, a woman was handcuffed and placed in the back of a police cruiser today, only to shift her wrists to the front of her body, squeeze through a window to enter the driver's seat and escape in the cop car before striking a pickup truck. According to a spokeswoman from the Riviera Beach Police Department, police responded to a call about a possible sexual assault this afternoon. After arriving on the scene at the 1300 block of North Congress Avenue, police determined that the subject of the call, Crystal Ivory, "may have been experiencing some type of mental illness event due to the nature of actions witnessed by the officers," the spokeswoman said in a news release. Ivory was placed in the back of the police car for her own safety while police officers investigated. That's when the mayhem began. After managing to drive away in the cruiser, Ivory allegedly drove north on Congress Avenue to Blue Heron Boulevard where she struck a white pickup. She then continued northbound for about 300 more feet before crossing a median and coming to a stop near a bank parking lot on the west side of Congress Avenue, according to the release. Ivory, as well as the driver of the truck, were transported to the hospital for observation and treatment.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marge Re: Copying one joke only Dear Webby Now for the real question. There are times when I want to save just one or two of the jokes but I can't seem to do it. What is the right way to do this? Marge Dear Marge Line up the joke that you want to copy so that all of it shows on the screen. Click at the begin of it, hold down the SHIFT key, and without letting go of it, click the mouse at the end of the joke. Now it is highlighted. Hit CTRL and C simultaneously to copy it. Jump to where you want to paste it, click at the spot where you want it, and hit CTRL V to paste it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was, however, not at all happy with it, so she called over the waiter and said: "I've sure tasted fresher fish!" "Not in here," replied the waiter.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Aquarium Water For Plants Dirty fish tank water makes great plant food. Instead of pouring all those great nutrients down the drain use it to make your plants look great. When I clean my 29 gallon tank I empty the water into my kitchen trash container then plunge an empty plastic kitty litter jug into it and fill it with the plant water. An empty cleaned out milk jug could be used. If you don't use it right away, be sure to shake it before using as it does tend to settle on the bottom. It works better than plant food in my opinion. By dlginlove from Saint Peters, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possibilities of the brokerage business. "Look at that yacht," he said as they drove slowly past a marina. "That 96' beauty belongs to the senior partner at Merrill Lynch. That one over there 104' is owned by the head of Goldman, Sachs. And look at that huge 210' yacht out there. That's the pride and joy of the top seller at Prudential-Bache." His friend Morris was silent. Goodman turned to look at him and saw a pained look on his face. "What's the matter?" Goodman asked. "That economy rowboat rental down there beside the marina, " Morris said,. "is that for the people they have sold to?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.

» Human Planet (make time!)






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How secure is Skype? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 24, 2011

Thank you, Norm!


Hold off with either updating FireFox to 3.6.15 or with today's
Adobe Bug Fix. If you do update both, don't keep too many
tabs open, and expect a lock-up.

3.6.15 and 3.6.16 work fine with yesterday's Adobe and 
don't seem to cause any lock-ups.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. --- Kahlil Gibran Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word. --- Charles De Gaulle
This morning my neighbor came over and we shot a few lines of bull, and settled the world problems. When I asked him why he never brought his wife with him, his response was: "The last time she got ready to go out with me on the same day, was when the Fire Alarm Went Off."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks. "That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean business," the city slicker replied. A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100 chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming," the man told him. "Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few problems." "Problems?" asked the proprietor. "Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last batch too close together."
Thanks to Christine for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Keith gruber, 49 of Swan Lake, NY NY Man Jailed After Bringing Beer To DWI Hearing A 49-year-old Sullivan County man was sent to jail without bail Monday after authorities said he showed up an hour and a half late for a court hearing on a felony DWI charge. If that wasn’t bad enough, Keith Gruber was intoxicated and was carrying an open can of Busch beer and had four more cans in a bag when he went through the courthouse security check, police said. Gruber, of Swan Lake, appeared Monday before Sullivan County Judge Frank LaBuda, who asked him if he enjoyed his “liquid lunch,” The Middletown Times Herald-Record reported. Gruber said he did, then said he was sorry. LaBuda sent him to jail with no bail. Gruber, who has prior DWI convictions, was arrested on Dec. 27 in the town of Liberty and was out on $30,000 cash bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nat Re: How secure is Skype? Dear Webby How secure is Skype? Can anybody intercept Skype messages, calls or video, and harvest the information? Nat Dear Nat With enough time and enough money, any encryption can eventually be broken. However, if it costs Millions, and takes many years to break it, it is not practical to even try. For all practical purposes, Skype is perfectly secure. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals: "We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Sheets Inside Pillowcases This tip will save you looking for a matching bottom and top sheet with matching pillowcases. Put folded sheets and one of the pillowcases inside one of the pillowcases. Next, place a used dryer sheet in also and it will keep them smelling sweet. Everything can be stored neatly in its own case! No more hunting for a matching set. Saves time and the sheets smells fresh because of the dryer sheet! By Dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
From Kim: During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were required to spend one week in the field roughing it. It rained the entire week. We arose daily in our swampy tent, took a cold-water beauty bath from our helmets, donned our pistol belts and ponchos, and trudged through the mud to set up field hospitals. Obviously, our personal appearance frequently left much to be desired. The final blow to our feminine pride occurred while we waited in the mess line in the mud and rain. A young private came by with a camera and asked to take our picture. "It will prove to my girl," he said, "that she has NO reason to be jealous!" Thanks to the excellent health care plan of the Army, he will eventually be able to talk and walk again, but it may take a while.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know Mr , I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong. "Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?" Being a nurse of long standing, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!" At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again, "Are my test results back from the lab ???

» 10,000 Birds






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Dear Twilight Fans 


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Snakes on a Plane - Canadian Style 


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Drivers back-up 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 23, 2011

From John B.:
I am from Wisconsin and don't know what a Wisconsin fleabagger is.  
Can you explain to me and others in a forthcoming issue?
    John

Dear John
The Democratic minority Wisconsin Senators who fled outside the state, 
in order to prevent a democratic vote, are generally referred to as 
flee-baggers or fleabaggers.

I find it amazing that the fleabaggers call themselves Democrats, 
even though they are sabotaging democracy and not allowing the
legitimate majority to vote.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter
Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work. But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. "Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired."
End Panic Attacks and General Anxiety in minutes, without drugs. This is serious stuff and it really works! Legitimate enough, so that you can use PayPal! If you have ANY kind of anxiety, get PanicAway!

From Rose: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you look pretty good too!"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel E. Rahynes, 35, in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania Harrisburg man gave bank tellers ID, then robbed bank City police had no trouble identifying an accused bank robber who gave tellers his identification so he could open an account before changing his mind and demanding cash Sunday, officers said. Officers said tellers at the Metro Bank on Second Street thought Daniel E. Rahynes, 35, of Harrisburg was interested in opening an account when he came in around 1:40 p.m. So they asked for two forms of identification, which he handed over, and got him started on the application. Rahynes then announced that he’d made a mistake and said he was actually there to rob the bank, officers said. He drove off in a nearby car with a small amount of cash, officers said. Moments later, that same car hit another vehicle at Second and Maclay Streets and kept going, officers said. Detectives meanwhile confirmed Rahynes’ identity and got an arrest warrant for him. Later in the afternoon, Rahynes was arrested by state troopers for suspicion of driving under the influence after he got in another crash in the Carlisle area, officers said. Troopers found out about the bank robbery warrant, recovered the money and handed Rahynes over to city police, officers said. Rahynes faces various charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brie Re: Driver Back-Up Program Dear Webby Brie Our consultant tried to sell us a program that backs up all the drivers for printers and so on. Do we really need that? Brie Dear Brie I used to back up drivers but found that to be a silly nuisance. Some of them won't install properly unless installed from the CD that came with the device they are for, and some have become obsolete. For example, if you send a printer to the garage sale and get a new one, do you really bother to get rid of the driver for the old one? The same goes for fax programs. Each one that you try and discard leaves behind a driver. That of course leads to a dangerous accumulation of drivers that may or may not interfere with each other or other programs. At best they waste time during start-up, at worst they prevent programs or devices from operating as well as they should. Drivers are easy enough to download from the manufacturers web site, and if you get a CD with a new device, store that in a ziplock bag taped to the side of that machine. That way, if you replace the harddrive or the computer, you got everything handy. Have FUN! DearWebby
Get More Done! Quit 'Spinning Your Wheels', Stop Going To Bed Feeling Guilty You Wasted Your Day. Easy time management tricks to get more acomplished. Action Machine Excellent deal!

The following is a quote from a director of sports information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals: "We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Sheets Inside Pillowcases This tip will save you looking for a matching bottom and top sheet with matching pillowcases. Put folded sheets and one of the pillowcases inside one of the pillowcases. Next, place a used dryer sheet in also and it will keep them smelling sweet. Everything can be stored neatly in its own case! No more hunting for a matching set. Saves time and the sheets smells fresh because of the dryer sheet! By Dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the entire store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - Let me show you how."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. Even though she was not injured, he carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs. As they arrived safely outside the building, she looked at him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful. It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me the way you did." "Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off three other firemen who were trying to get to you."

» San Francisco






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Gun Control 


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