Earth Week Coupon for ink and toner 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 26

Thank you Marian!
--------------
If you are running low on ink or toner, get refills THIS week!

Atlantic Inkjet has Earth Week discounts this week.
You get free shipping even on small orders, 
and a 10 % discount with this coupon code:
EARTH2012

Feel free to give the coupon to friends. They will get the
same Earth Week discount and same free shipping
in Canada and the USA. And you don't lose the coupon
by giving it to friends, same as i don't lose it, by giving 
it to you. 

I don't get anything for giving you the coupon, other than 
knowing you will get top quality ink or toner at the best 
possible price.

I just combined my April, May and June order and got the
discount. 

Dig out the coins from your sofa and order your ink or toner
now. The Earth WEEK discount is only THIS WEEK!

By the way, Atlantic Inkjet does accept PayPal, not just
credit cards. 

If you need ink or toner in the next 3 months, 
then don't lose the 10% discount and free shipping!
Go to Atlantic Inkjet .com
select what you need, and in the checkout, where you can 
enter a coupon, use EARTH2012

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1478 Easter is celebrated for the first time 
1514 Copernicus makes his 1st observations of Saturn
1563 Jews are expelled from France by order of Charles VI
1607 1st British to establish an American colony land at Cape Henry VA
1645 Michael Cardozo becomes 1st Jewish lawyer in Brazil
1654 All Jews are expelled from Brazil 
1721 Smallpox vaccination 1st administrated 
1841 "Bombay Gazette" begins publishing on silk 
1887 Huntsville Electric Company is established to sell electricity 
1915 Italy secretly signes Pact of London with Britain, France & Russia
1959 Cuba invades Panama
1971 Turkey state of siege proclaimed 
1980 Iran begins scattering US hostages from the US Embassy
1981 Largest US bank robbery (Tucson AZ), more than $33 million stolen
1984 President Ronald Reagan visits China 
1986 Arnold Schwarzenegger weds newscaster Maria Shriver 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. --- Cullen Hightower "Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." --- Groucho Marx
Stupid laws in Colorado: It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. Are they trying to imply that the dogs are smarter than Colorado law makers ?
Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

A little old lady is sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."
Click on the picture for the large version That looks like the Klettergarten (Climbing garten, a kindergarten for rock climbers), where I learned to climb, when I was a kid.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Darius Williams, 19, in Memphis, tennessee Bonehead asks officer if he's Jesus, steals patrol car MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) - Darius Williams saw the light. It just happened to be blue. According to The Commercial Appeal, a police officer found the 19-year-old Williams walking before dawn Thursday along Interstate 240. Police said after asking if the officer was Jesus, Williams became irate in the back of the police car, pushed down the window and climbed on top of the vehicle. The officer got out and tried to talk Williams down and ended up in a scuffle with him. Williams got away from the officer, got into the police car and took off the wrong way on the freeway. He wrecked a short distance away and was captured. He was charged with felony theft, aggravated assault and resisting arrest.
Tech Support Pits: From: Many Re: Photoshop course link Problem with that link Sorry about the goof-up. That should have been http://webby.com/photoday. I forgot the http: Yes, it is an eBook, a very low cost course. However, it does not include the cost of the Photoshop program! It is just a course to learn how to use it and get comfortable with it. Millions of people have bought the program, but got overwhelmed by all the options and possibilities, and the fancy terms and vocabulary, and they are not using it. This eBook course is for those people, who HAVE the program, but are scared of it. A lot of what you learn in that course will also apply to most other graphics programs. Photoshop is simply the best known, becasue it is the most advertised. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One workman asks another, "How long have you been working here?" The other one replies, "Since they threatened to fire me."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pillow Case as Sewing Machine Cover For an inexpensive sewing machine cover, purchase a good quality pillow case from the thrift store or yard sale. Cut and shape the bottom, fancy open end to fit your sewing machine. Sew across the edge you just cut. You can add lace or whatever you like to embellish it. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
This preacher was looking for a good used lawn mower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though." The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start. Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough." "Well," Johnny said, "you need to cuss at it sometimes." The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" The lady asked. "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks."
» Weird Wrecks


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Can't vote 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, April 25

Thank you Georgiana!!

When putting a fitted shet onto a bed, I have always admired,
and envied, how women look for a tiny mark, that is totally
invisible to men, shake the sheet and it is lined up, then 
they flop onto the bed, tuck down the corners and in 
seconds it is all done. 

I have to try the sixteen different ways and still suspect, that
the sheet is upside down.

Today I managed to get it right in only 15 tries!
As tight as a painter's canvas and all the seams underneath.
I considered that a good omen and went to get my big Mark-All.
Now each corner has a clearly legible mark on the downwards
portion: SE, SW, NE, NW.
So there!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1507 Geographer Martin Waldseemuller 1st used name America 
1607 Battle at Gibraltar Dutch fleet beats Spanish/Portuguese fleet
1684 Patent granted for the thimble
1792 Guillotine 1st used, executes highwayman Nicolas J Pelletier 
1850 Paul Julius Reuter, uses 40 pigeons to carry stock market prices
1859 Ground broken for Suez Canal
1898 US declares war on Spain over Cuba 
1901 New York becomes 1st state requiring auto license plates
1905 Whites win right to vote in South Africa 
1926 Persian cossack officer Reza Chan crowns himself Shah Palawi 
1945 Last Boeing B-17 attack against Nazi Germany 
1945 US & Soviet forces meet at Torgau Germany on Elbe River
1953 Scientists identify DNA
1954 Bell labs announces 1st solar battery
1957 1st experimental sodium nuclear reactor operated 
1959 St Lawrence Seaway linking Atlantic, Great Lakes opens to shipping
1960 1st submerged circumnavigation of Earth completed (Triton) 
1961 Robert Noyce patents integrated circuit 
1971 About 200,000 anti-Vietnam War protesters march on Washington DC 
1980 Announcement of Jimmy Carter hostage rescue bungle in Iran 
1982 In accordance with Camp David, Israel completes Sinai withdrawal
1994 14" of snow in Southern California 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn't. --- L. L. Henderson In politics, absurdity is not a handicap. --- Napoleon Bonaparte "Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you." --- William Arthur Ward
I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."
Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

Thanks to Irene for this: I have the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, "Let's eat out!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kimberly King Great-granny drinks fifth while babysitting, gets arrested Police arrested a West Monroe woman after she reportedly got drunk and passed out while she was babysitting her two great-grandchildren. Kimberly King,50, of 222 Trace West, was arrested Thursday following a complaint by her granddaughter According to the arrest affidavit, King’s granddaughter left her one and two year old children with King while she went to work. When the complainant came back four hours later, King was reportedly passed out. Police say both children had soiled their diapers to the point that the diapers were falling off. Police found King in the bed where officers shined a flashlight in her face and woke her up. Police say King had no visible injuries but admitted to drinking a fifth of Jim Beam while the children were in her care. King was arrested and charged with two counts of child abandonment.
Tech Support Pits: From: Carole Re: Can't vote Dear Webby, I haven't been able to vote for you for a long time, what is going on? Carole Dear Carole Theoretically they have fixed it. You can try registering there and then vote. If you are registered and logged in, then you don't have to wait for an email confirmation request. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A young couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at a rattlesnake farm they discovered along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes. "Gosh!" exclaimed the young woman. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?" "Yes, on rare occasions," answered the handler. "Well," she continued, "what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?" "I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make cut across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound." "What, uh...what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman. "Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Post its For Bookmarks I use post it note paper as bookmarks. You can get the really small ones in a variety of colors, they work really great. Plus, they don't slip out of books like regular bookmarks. By LuLu from Chicago, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend Morris came to visit him. Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside." "What does she read?" asks Morris. "My life insurance policy."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."
» Wieliczka Salt Mine





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The Little Red Hen [version 2012] 

"Who will help me plant my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself." She planted her crop and the wheat grew and ripened.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Out of my classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.

"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.

They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share but the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Harry Reid)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came He said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said Barack the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle."

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Liberals smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs. Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?



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X'ed pictrues in Hotmail 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 24

Thank you, Jeane!

We had our first really warm day! On the way back from the
post ofice, I had to take my jacket off, and decided to bring 
it and the mail home before going to vote, instead of voting 
on the way home.

The hot wind from the West sure felt nice!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1061 Halley's Comet sparks English monk to predict country will be destroyed 
1558 Queen Mary Stuart of Scotland marries French crown prince François
1704 "Boston News-Letter", 1st successful newsletter in US, is established 
1833 Patent granted for 1st soda fountain to Jacob Evert & George Dulty 
1872 Volcano Vesuvius erupts 
1877 Russia declares war on Turkey through Romania
1898 Spain declares war on US rejecting ultimatum to withdraw from Cuba 
1898 US fleet under commodore Dewey sails from Hong Kong to Philippines
1908 Mr & Mrs Jacob Murdock become the 1st to travel across the US by car, 
they leave Los Angeles in a Packard & arrive in NYC in 
32 days-5 hours-25 minutes 
1915 Massacre of Armenians by Turks (Armenian Martyrs Day) 
1916 Easter rebellion of Irish against British occupation begins
1920 British Mandate over Palestine goes into effect (lasts 28 years)
1920 Polish troops attack Ukraine 
1923 Colonel Jacob Schick patents Schick shavers
1941 British army begins evacuation of Greece 
1944 1st Boeing B-29 arrives in China "over the Hump"
1944 RAF bombs Munich 
1954 Australia & USSR break diplomatic relations
1961 JFK accepts "sole responsibility" following Bay of Pigs 
1961 The Vasa, which sunk on her maiden voyage in 1628, is raised 
1962 MIT sends TV signal by satellite for 1st time California to Massachusetts 
1968 Leftist students take over Columbia University, New York NY 
1969 Lebanese army in battle with Palestinians
1969 US B-52's drop 3,000 tons of bombs at Cambodian boundary 
1970 People's Rebublic of China launches its 1st satellite transmitting song "East is Red" 
1980 US military operation to save 52 hostages in Iran, fails, 8 die
1981 IBM-PC computer introduced
1981 US ends grain embargo against USSR
1992 Vinson Pike fined £1000 for distributing obscene computer pictures 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"It is well to think well; it is divine to act well." --- Horace Mann Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. --- Charles Caleb Colton
A man is struck in the head by a rock during a demonstration in Israel. A woman rushes over, kneels down and places his head in her lap. "Are you comfortable?" she asks. "Oh, I do OK." he replied. "Some part time work here & there and I have a pretty good stock portfolio."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

"Hey Bob, did your wife have much to say when you got home last night?" "No, but that didn't keep her from yelling for two hours."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Marcus Hunt, 22 Homesick for jail in 16 minutes Marcus Hunt, a 22-year-old Florida man was arrested Tuesday after he allegedly committed a crime just 16 minutes after he was released from jail for another crime. According to Tampa Police, Hunt was booked into jail last Saturday after he was allegedly caught driving without a license and then attempting to flee from police. He was released from county jail at 4:22 p.m. Saturday after he posted a $2,250 bond. Just 16 minutes after Hunt was released from jail, he approached a man on a bike, struck him in the face and then stole his bike. Officers arrested Hunt at his home Tuesday after a warrant had been issued for his arrest. He was booked into the Hillsborough County Jail and charged with robbery. His new and improved bond has been set at $25,000.
Tech Support Pits: From: Janet Re: X'ed pictures on hotmail Dear Webby, why do I get an X in a little box in the upper left hand corner of all the pictures that are sent, or that I receive on my in coming and out going email. I either get this X or the pictures are all grey, I am pretty dumb when it comes to trying to figure out this computer. You give others such good advice, maybe you can help me!!!!!! I have been on your Dear Webby News Letter for several years, lots of laughs and good help tips, thanks.. Since my name is Janet I always look to see if it's still at the bottom of your "Today In" 2012 Janet smiled Thank you Janet Dear Janet Your Ho'mail designates your subscription as spam. Quite possibly that causes it to mess up with the pictures. The pictures are there, and when you reply to me, they become visible again. I guess they are embarrassed about their screw-up and don't want outsiders to see that, For the short term, try putting humor@webby.com into the Friends List. That might fix the problem. For the long term, it might be a good idea to get a respectable address. Unless you are logging on with Yahoo, you can get a respectable address from your ISP. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of both femurs and pelvis. "What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment. "He fell out of a tree," I reported. The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree. "I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Acme Tree Experts." Looking again at the X rays, the radiologist said, "Cross out 'experts.'"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add Storage By Going Up When you don't have a lot of space, try going up instead of around the room. A stacked washer and dryer is a good example. Floor to ceiling gives you lots of storage for anything. Try stacking pieces of furniture for more space. By MelindaR. from Jessieville, AR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a long hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, "Your pastor is sure a lot friendlier than mine!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy." "Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends. "I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."
» Crop Circles, Apline Style





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The Illogic Of Climate Hysteria 
Humans have a rocky relationship with randomness. On the one hand, we declare that “shit happens”–an acknowledgment that bad things sometimes occur for no particular reason. But more often than not, our minds resist randomness, searching for meaning even where none exists.

read more here





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Walter Williams: The Power of Profit 





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The Humane Society 





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If I Wanted America To Fail 





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Sad News 







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Toner for odd numbered DELL printer 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 23

Thank you Betty!

In case you have not heard the ruckus about Kraft Food's
Oreo Ad, showing a breastfeeding baby not feeding at a 
model's breast, Kraft says the ad was not meant for the 
public. After Youtube and others spread it all over the web,
Kraft claimed it was just meant for executives at an 
advertising forum. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1014 King Brian Boru of Ireland beats Danes at Battle of Clontarf 
1348 1st English order of knighthood founded (Order of the Garter) 
1633 Sweden & Protestant German monarchy form Union of Heilbronn 
1851 Canada issues its 1st postage stamps
1867 Queen Victoria & Napoleon III turn down plans for a channel tunnel 
1891 Jews are expelled from Moscow Russia 
1938 Sudeten Germans in Czechoslovakia demand self government
1941 Greece Army surrenders to German Nazi's 
1941 RAF brings Greek king George II to Egypt 
1942 4-day allied bombing on Rostock begins 
1949 Chinese Red army conquerors Nanjing
1949 Netherlands annexes Elten & Tudderen
1956 US Supreme court ends race segregation on buses
1962 1st US satellite to reach the moon launched 
1965 Launch of 1st Soviet communications satellite
1967 Soyuz 1 launched; Vladimir Komarov becomes 1st in-flight 
casualty when its parachute lines became tangled and the 
parachutes failed to open properly upon return to Earth 
1968 1st decimal coins issued in Britain (5 & 10 pence) 
1971 Soyuz 10 launched; soft docked with Salyut 1
1972 Apollo 16 astronauts explore Moon surface 
1977 Military workers kill 300-500 students in Addis Ababa 
1988 A Greek pedals human-powered aircraft 74 miles 
1992 McDonald's opens its 1st fast-food restaurant in China 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"This has all the earmarks of an eyesore." --- James McSheehy "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian." --- Dennis Wholey
A teacher was winding up a discussion in her fourth grade class on the importance of curiosity. Teacher: "Where would we be today if no one had ever been curious?" Lucy: "In the Garden of Eden?"
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

>From Myrna I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What's the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary?" And you know what the answer was? "Morning Sickness."
Click on the picture for the large version Politically correct green cat
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Renee Jackson, 35 in Fort Smith, Arkansas Silver Tonged Drunk Renee Jackson, a 35-year-old New Orleans man was jailed after he allegedly attempted to rob a convenience store with a pair of hot dog tongs. According to the Fort Smith Police Department, Jackson allegedly entered a local convenience store, grabbed a pair of silver tongs used for hot dogs, then demanded money from the clerk and customers. Witnesses say Jackson appeared to be extremely intoxicated, so no one took him seriously. The clerk called 911 and stated that he was attempting to stab people inside the store with the tongs. He ultimately pushed one of the customers, but no one was inured. Investigators say when officers arrived on the scene, Jackson was outside the building. Police stated that he had written a note to the store, apologizing for what he had done. Jackson told investigators that he became distraught after arguing with his wife and wanted to go to jail because his family didn't appreciate him. He was booked into jail and charged with two counts of attempted aggravated robbery.
Tech Support Pits: From: Earl Re: Toner for DELL printer Hi Webby, The newsletter is great and the Teck tips save a lot of time figuring out how to correct mistakes. My question is, do you get your toner for your 1350 laser printer from Atlanticinkjet, my 1250c takes the same toner and I can't find it on their web site. Thanks for any help you can give me on this subject. Thanks Earl Dear Earl We use DELL 1320c Color Laser, and yes, I get the toner from Atlantic Inkjet.com I have been getting the toner from Atlantic long before I got that printer many years ago. As a matter of fact, I will be ordering a couple of toner cartridges from Atlantic tomorrow. I like having full spares for every color sitting on the shelf, and their toner does not go bad. If you can't find the toner you need at Atlantic Inkjet.com, write to Dimnitris at dimitris@easygroup.us. Since DELL keeps adding new models and names almost daily, your model might not be listed. Dimitris will cross it over to whatever cartridge style it uses. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Elvira for this: I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester. "You'll get $24," said the clerk. "This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check. "I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail that course."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Fabric Softener Squares Take a package of soft cloths (e.g., generic brand of J-Cloth) and cut them in half. Soak them in fabric softener, wring out well, and hang dry. When ready to put a load of clothes in the dryer, slip a dried softener sheet in. These can be used a few times over and then you can start the soaking process over again. The sheets last forever and you'll never need to buy fabric softener sheets again. By sooz from Toronto, ON Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Joseph was excited by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export? Smiling confidently, he wrote, "1776. None."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away."
» Popocatepetl





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Misc. Quotes 

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be more angry about what Mitt Romney does with his own money than what Barack Obama does with mine." --- Lillemor

The sages do not consider that making no mistakes is a blessing. They believe, rather, that the great virtue of man lies in his ability to correct his mistakes and continually make a new man of himself. --- Wang Yang-Ming

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. --- Jimmy Demaret

"The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more." --- Max Kauffmann




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What to do when no mail is coming through Gmail? 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, April 22

Thank you Doris!
Thank you Nellie!

Finally I see well enough again to work.
Last night at 8 pm the shady back yard East of the house
still looked like fresh snow in bright sunlight. So I decided to
catch up on some of last year's missed sleep.

I wrote to Lewis at the Ezinefinder a few more times to
all his addresses, and by Saturday evening it seemed to be
working again, for registered users anyway. Whether the
voting via confirmation request email also works, we will 
find out when I enter the numbers into the graph tomorrow 
night, actually Monday morning around 02:30 am, 
when they normally update and show the previous day's votes.

Saturday was a beautiful and warm and sunny day. First day 
of the year, where I could comfortably eay lunch out on the
deck. I sure enjoyed that!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0687 -BC- Chinese record a meteor shower in Lyra 
1056 Supernova Crab nebula last seen by the naked eye
1526 1st slave revolt occurs in South Carolina
1648 English army claims king Charles I responsible for bloodshed
1838 English steamship "Sirius" docks in NYC after Atlantic crossing 
1861 Robert E Lee named commander of Virginia Confederate forces
1864 US mints 2¢ coin (1st appearance of "In God We Trust") 
1889 Oklahoma land rush officially starts; as many as nine out of ten
 of these settlers had jumped the gun, earning themselves the name "Sooners" 
1898 1st Spanish-American War action USS Nashville, takes enemy ship 
1898 US President William McKinley orders blockade of Cuban harbors
1940 Rear Admiral Joseph Taussig testifies before US Senate Naval Affairs 
Committee that war with Japan is inevitable (He was right) 
1943 RAF shoots down 14 German transport planes over Mediterranean Sea 
1952 1st atomic explosion on network news, Nob NV 
1955 Congress orders all US coins bear motto "In God We Trust" 
1969 1st human eye transplant performed 
1983 Great Britain performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site 
1995 George Foreman beats Axel Schulz in 12 for heavyweight boxing title 
2012 US finished building a $750,000 soccer field for 
detainees in Guantanamo, Cuba
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be more angry about what Mitt Romney does with his own money than what Barack Obama does with mine." --- Lillemor The sages do not consider that making no mistakes is a blessing. They believe, rather, that the great virtue of man lies in his ability to correct his mistakes and continually make a new man of himself. --- Wang Yang-Ming Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. --- Jimmy Demaret "The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more." --- Max Kauffmann
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples, a tractor, and a vase...."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

Three rabbinical students were caught by the Rabbi gambling and drinking in the company of undesirable characters before the sun set on the evening of the Sabbath. The Rabbi called them into his study the next day. They all confessed to having given in to weakness, and admitted that they deserved punishment. The Rabbi thought for a moment, then went into his kitchen and brought back three bags of dried peas. "Put these in your shoes," he told them, "and walk on them for a week, to remind yourself how hard life can be when you turn away from your faith." A few days later the three students met. One was limping terribly, had dark circles under his eyes, and looked very tired. The others seemed much as he had been the week before. The first student said, "How is it that you are walking so freely? Didn't you do as the Rabbi told us and put the peas in your shoes?" "Of course I did," said the second. "How could I disobey the Rabbi? I just chose to wear a different pair of shoes." The third student interrupted, "The rabbi expressly stated that we were to WALK on the peas." The first student inquired how he could be walking so well if he was walking on the peas. The third student smiled and said, "I boiled them first."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Shriya Biman Patel, 25 in Austin, Texas Jailed After Setting Husband On Fire, Locking Him In Bathroom To Burn Shriya Biman Patel, a 25-year-old North Austin woman was jailed Thursday after she allegedly set her husband on fire and then locked him in the bathroom to burn. According to the Austin Police Department, officers were called to the couple's apartment around 9:15 p.m. after witnesses reported that a man was screaming for help from his balcony. One caller told police that the man was yelling things like "why would you burn me?" and "All I wanted to do is love you." When officers arrived on the scene, they found a badly burned man. He was naked and writhing on the floor, screaming in pain. When officers asked the man what happened, he stated that he was in the bathtub expecting to receive a massage from Patel when instead, she burst in and poured gasoline on him. Patel then lit him on fire with a candle and then locked the bathroom door, trapping the man inside. The man was able to kick down the door and escape, but not before sustaining severe burn injuries. Investigators say Patel had removed the smoke detectors from the apartment and disabled the sprinklers in preparation for the assault. They also found a Walmart receipt showing that she had purchased items used in the attack earlier that day. The victim was taken to the San Antonio Military Medical Center where he was treated for burns to 70% of his body. Although the couple has been married for about a year, Patel had just moved to the U.S. from India about a week prior. Patel was booked into jail and charged with arson and assault with a deadly weapon. She is currently being held in lieu of $1,000,000 bail.
Tech Support Pits: From: Betty Re: Not receiving any email Hi Webby I wrote to you yesterday but noticed i have not recieved any e-mails from anyone since the 18th. can you tell me why? Thanks Sweetie Betty Would you please send your answer to b*****@frontier.com in case this one does not work Betty B Dear Betty Most likely you have reached your limit with your Gmail. Dump the spam, dump the trash. That will give you some elbow room. Then go into the settings and look for where you assign Keyboard Hotkeys Assign for example "1" to select all mails on that page and "`",the key to the left of the "1" for deleting all selected mails. (Without the "quotes of course) Next set it to show 100 mails per page. Then go to the oldest. Hit 1 to select all Hit ' to dump those. Keep doing that until you have 50% free. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company. The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly. To show just "how" the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game: "The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the Softball Season, we came in second place, having lost but one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Book Exchange Party One year, my daughter hosted a book exchange for some of her friends and neighbors. Kids brought their used books and took turns selecting new old books. We baked a cake shaped like a book and that was it. The kids played outside afterward. No expense but for the cake and everyone had some books to enjoy afterward. By Jackie from Medinah, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Some guy is claiming that a tonic of beer and urine will improve your garden. That might explain why the lawns around frat houses always seem to be in desperate need of mowing.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."
» Machu Picchu





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Politician 

An old doctor and his nurse were on the train, going to a Medical Conference. Opposite them was a man furiously scratching his elbow.

"I wonder what's the matter with him?" asked the nurse.

"He's a patient of mine and, in confidence, I can tell you that he suffers badly from hemorrhoids," replied the doctor.

"Well, why he's scratching his elbow?" asked the puzzled nurse.

"Oh, he's a politician, and he doesn't know his ass from his elbow."-





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How to fix pictures, that are sawed off on new W7 Laptop? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Thank you Doris!
Thank you Nellie!

Today I have to go to Calgary and get injections into both 
eyes. I might not see well enough to write and send the 
Saturday issue, so I apologize for that in advance.
By Sunday I should be able to again see enough.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0295 8th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet 
1505 Jews are expelled from Orange Burgundy by Philibert of Luxembourg 
1770 Captain Cook arrives in New South Wales
1775 British begin siege of Boston 
1792 France declares war on Austria, Prussia & Sardinia 
1861 Colonel Robert E Lee resigns from Union army
1894 136,000 mine workers strike in Ohio for pay increase 
1919 Polish Army captures Vilno, Lithuania from Soviet Army 
1926 1st check sent by radio facsimile transmission across the Atlantic 
1936 Jews repel an Arab attack in Petach Tikvah Palestine 
1945 Soviet troops enter Berlin 
1958 Morocco demands departure of Spanish troops 
1967 US planes bomb Haiphong for 1st time during the Vietnam War
1972 Apollo 16's Young & Duke land on Moon with Boeing Lunar Rover #2 
1973 Canadian ANIK A2 becomes 1st commercial satellite in orbit 
1980 Cubans begin to arrive in US from Mariel boatlift
1983 President Ronald Reagan signs a $165 billion bail-out for Social Security 
1988 US accuses Renamo of killing 100,000 Mozambiquians
1999 Deadliest school shooting in US history at Columbine High School, Littleton CO
Jewish Passover/Pesach (Feast of Deliverance) (Nisan 15, 5760 AM) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse. --- Miguel de Cervantes Women demand their men to be reliable and predictable, mostly so that they can accuse them of being boring. --- Socratex
During an award ceremony the wife of Spain's ambassador to Washington asked former Sen. George Mitchell if he could make his speech a bit longer, since the ambassador had still not arrived from the airport. Mitchell replied: "I spent years in the U.S. Senate, Madam. I can speak on any subject for any length of time -- especially on a subject about which I have no particular knowledge."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him."
Click on the picture for the large version Popocatepetl, Mexico, messing up the pollution statistics again!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Michael Baker, 20 in Jenkins, Kentucky Facebooked into jail APRIL 18--A Kentucky bonehead is facing a misdemeanor rap after he siphoned gasoline from a police car, a theft that came to the attention of cops after the perp posted a Facebook photo memorializing the crime. As seen in the above photo, as Michael Baker, 20, was swiping the gas last month from a Jenkins Police Department squad car, he made sure to flip the bird as his girlfriend snapped a picture. After obtaining a copy of the photo (which began circulating in Jenkins) police arrested Baker Monday evening for theft by unlawful taking, according to an arrest warrant, which alleges that he “stole gas from a Jenkins City Police Cruiser” and then “posted a picture of his theft on facebook.” Baker, pictured in the mug shot, is scheduled to be arraigned today in Letcher County District Court.
Tech Support Pits: From: Rheta Re: Pictures sawed off DearWebby: It's been a while. But I read all your tips, and advice. Think you for sharing. My question to day is. First I have a new laptop. With Windows 7 :( and none of my pictures fit my screen. I even tried to save this sweet little mouse you have. Rheta Dear Rheta I guess you found out the hard way why I have been bitching against sawed off monitors. If you still have a standard monitor, plug it into the socket on the back or side of the laptop. W7 will recognize it and allow you to configure it any way you want it. Set it to 1600 x 1200, if the video card in that laptop can handle that. Then you can see everything in standard 4;3 format and proper sharpness on the old monitor, and have the sawed off monitor on the side. Some people turn the laptop "on it's ear", sideways. They use a regular keyboard anyway so as not to wreck their wrists with the laptop keyboard. With the sawed off laptop screen turned sideways, so that it is a tall and slim portrait format, it becomes quite handy for long lists, spreadsheets to record links, and especially for writing. With today's preference for narrow columns, the tall portrait format is just perfect. And on the right you have the old monitor in standard 4:3 format and high resolution for graphics or anything that looks better in standard format. Almost all modern laptops can handle a standard monitor on the side, in addition to their sawed off screen. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just absolutely had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he wasn't felling well and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why would you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Trash Bags in Place When I buy trash bags that don't like to stay in place, I simply measure off a length of elastic, sew it together and fit it over the trash can. When the bag is put into the can we simply pull the elastic over the edges and this keeps it from moving. We never take the elastic off, (except to clean it) we simply push it down a little, lift out the bag, and replace it. By Gem from VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
>From David My mother once gave me two sweaters for my birthday. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and an unfamiliar voice from inside called, "Get me outa here!" "Don't worry," replied, "Maintenance should be sending somebody shortly." "They did," said the voice.
» Machu Picchu





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Solar Lights 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 19

Thank you Katherine!
Thanks you Dorothy!
Thank you Hermon!
Thank you Larry!
Thank you Richard!

Thanks to all who responded about the voting problems!
I wrote to Lewis at the Ezinefinder. He rarely responds,
but usually just works on problems, when there are a certain
nuber of reports. That seems to be the norm with Mac 
server administrators. Lewis is no exception.

For some silly reason, Mac server administrators seem to 
view any problem report as an attack on their cult and take 
it very personal. Well, if you don't get confirmation requests
today either, let me know and I'll write to him again.

You CAN avoid the confirmation requests, if you register at 
the EzineFinder. When you do that, it plants a one month 
cookie in your browser. Don't worry, that cookie does not 
have your bra size or weight or age. It just has your "pass key"
to get through to voting without the need for a confirmation email.
And in a month, that cookie crumbles. So, use a simple user
name and password. You have to put it in every month.
Of course, if you have RoboForm, then it will remember the
user name and password for you.

If you have not got it yet, I highly recommend it! You can even
use RoboForm to sync your passwords between different computers,
for eample desktop at work and laptop at home. Quite civilized!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1587 Sir Frances Drake sails into Cadiz Spain & sinks Spanish fleet 
1770 Captain James Cook 1st sees Australia 
1775 Revolution begins-Lexington Common, shot "heard round the world" 
1861 Lincoln orders blockade of Confederate ports (Civil War) 
909 Joan of Arc, declared a saint
1919 French assembly decides on 8 hour work day 
1923 New Egyptian law allows suffrage for men, except soldiers 
1932 President Herbert Hoover suggests 5 day work week 
1943 Jews attack Nazi occupation forces at Warsaw Ghetto under Mordechai Anielewicz 
1944 Allied fleet attack Sabang Sumatra 
1945 US aircraft carrier Franklin is heavily damaged in Japanese air raid 
1947 French ship explodes in Texas City harbor, kills about 522
1948 Chiang Kai-shek elected President of Nationalist China 
1971 USSR Salyut 1 launched; 1st manned lab in orbit 
1971 Charles Manson sentenced to life
1975 India launches 1st satellite with help of USSR
1982 USSR Salyut 7 space station put into orbit 
1987 Jacqueline Blanc, sets women's downhill ski speed record (124.902 mph) 
1987 Last wild condor captured on California wildlife reserve 
1991 Greyhound Bus posts $195 million loss for 1990 
1993 Branch Dividians/FBI 51 day standoff in Waco TX ends with the deaths of 
4 FBI Agents and numerous deaths of the cult members 
1994 Rodney King award $3,800,000 in compensation of police beating 
1995 Truck bomb outside Alfred P Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, 
kills 168 & injures 500, including subscriber Martin
Today they celebrate
Cuba : Bay of Pigs Victory Day (1961)
England : Primrose Day
2012  smiled


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work. --- Peter Drucker The significance of man is that he is insignificant and is aware of it. --- Carl Becker
Adam and Eve had the ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to." Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Con- gratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!" Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, and I don't have to go to Confession any more?"
Click on the picture for the large version Icelandia Falls
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Mallory Renee Mims, 22, Orond Beach, Florida Lo-Jack foiled insurance fraud LoJack busts man who reported car stolen HESPERIA, Calif. (UPI) -- A California man was arrested for insurance fraud when the security system in a vehicle he reported stolen led police to where he allegedly hid the car. Ricardo Felix, 31, is accused of concealing the vehicle behind a family member's home, and then reporting it stolen to Huntington police and his insurance company, the Daily Press of Victorville, Calif., reported Monday. Victor Valley police said Saturday they received a LoJack notification of the location of the vehicle and tracked it to the home in Hesperia. Authorities detained four people in the home and notified Felix about the discovery of the vehicle. Investigators later learned Felix allegedly conspired with the family members to hide the vehicle, not knowing it was equipped with the LoJack system, Hesperia police spokeswoman Sue Rose told the Daily Press. Felix was being held on $25,000 bail for alleged insurance fraud and grand theft auto. Prosecutors office were considering filing charges against the alleged conspirators, the newspaper said.
Tech Support Pits: From: Tina Re: Solar lights Dear Webby This is not about computers or the Internet, but sorta electrical. You must have seen those little solar garden lights. Would they work as night lights inside a house? Thanks Tina Dear Tina Most of them are not really intended for lighting in a specific direction, but to just look pretty in all directions. If you take the milky diffuser off them, and make a small parabolic mirror with aluminum foil, it can light a patch of floor or stairs jst barely enough. Since they are cheap, $1 - $2, you can use a bunch of them shining at critical spots like steps or stairs. They don't need to be outside in direct sunlight, but indoors should be in a reasonably well lit area. The main advantage of them is that they will work fine during power outages. The disadvantage is that the amount of light they produce, is very low. They are cheap enough, that you can easily experiment and see if they produce enough light for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Frank for this: No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double- checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the back, kicked her right in the head, lost my balance, tipped over, with her ending up in the rose bush, and me in the algae slime covered lily pond. She didn't cry, but because of the hysterical screaming laughter from mom was quite confused about the whole thing, and it took her a few seconds before she cheered up and yelled: "Do it again, daddy!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grow Morning Glory Around Dog Kennel I tossed Morning Glory seeds all around the dog kennel in hopes it would provide a nice shade cover for summer, and it sure did. It looked nice too. By freedombelle2001 from Bellevue, NE Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physician, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. A bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."
» Machu Picchu





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Oh Boy! 

I exercise regularly.
I eat moderate amounts of healthy food.
I make sure to get plenty of rest.
I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year.
I floss every night.
I've had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests, EKG's and colonoscopies.
I've seen a psychologist once, and she thought I was A-OK.
I have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress.
I don't drink and drive.
I quit smoking a long time ago.
I don't do drugs.
I try not to disparage others.
I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.


If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.





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Help for worn off Laptop keyboard lettering 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, April 18

Is there any reason for the number of votes plummeting
and donations becoming extinct?

I realize, most of you are too shy to hit REPLY and tell me, 
but hopefully some of you will clue me in!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1521 Parliament of Worms Cardinal Alexander questions Martin Luther 
1838 Wilkes' expedition to South Pole sails 
1853 1st train in Asia (Bombay to Tanna, 36 km) 
1861 Colonel Robert E Lee turns down offer to command Union armies 
1902 Denmark is 1st country to adopt fingerprinting to identify criminals
1923 Poland annexes Central Lithuania
1934 1st "Washateria" (laundromat) opens (Fort Worth TX) 
1946 US recognizes Tito's Yugoslavia government 
1949 Republic of Ireland withdraws from British Commonwealth
1950 1st transatlantic jet passenger trip 
1956 Egypt & Israel agree to a cease fire
1980 Zimbabwe (formerly Southern Rhodesia) declares independence from UK 
1982 Zimbabwe capital Salisbury renamed Harare 
1983 A lone suicide bomber kills 63, at the US Embassy in Lebanon 
1994 Lebanon drops relations with Iran 
2012  smiled


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." --- Aldous Huxley There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability. --- Robert Half
Thanks to Trish for this: Husband by text to wife at work ............ "Windows at home frozen - what should I do?" Wife - "spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them" Husband a few minutes later - "Did that - now computer won't work at all"!
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery. On the day he was admitted his mother asked if the doctor would please circumcise the boy, since he's already going to be under anaesthesia. The boy woke up and was very sore "down there" there for several days. About a week later he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he, too, was also going to have to have his tonsils out. He asked the boy to tell him about the surgery. The little boy replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils are not where you think they are."
Click on the picture for the large version "Scientists" waiting for Gullible Warming or Government handouts
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Mallory Renee Mims, 22, Orond Beach, Florida Leaving Child Locked Inside Car While Applying And Drinking At Local Bar Mallory Renee Mims, a 22-year-old Ormond Beach woman was jailed Friday after she allegedly left her 5-year-old child unattended in a car for over an hour while she applied for a job at a bar, then stuck around to drink a few shots. According to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office, Mims went to the Pirana Bar and Grill to fill out a job application. Investigators say Mims left her child in a locked car with the windows rolled up while she went inside. After applying for the job, she hung out at the bar for over an hour, consuming three shots of vodka. When a bar patron asked Mims about the child, Mims denied that the child was hers. When Mims tried to leave the bar, the bartender took away her keys. Police were called when Mims went behind the bar to retrieve her keys. When officers arrived on the scene, Mims smelled of alcohol and appeared to be intoxicated, according to the arrest affidavit. She was booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail and charged with child neglect and leaving a child unattended in a vehicle for more than 15 minutes, which is the limit in Florida. She was released after posting $1,500 bail. The child was placed in the care of a relative.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ric Re: Keyboard Labels Dear Webby In response to the key board lettering wearing out, my daughter had the same problem. The computer store (MicroCenter: Microcenter.com) had sets of stickers specifically for key boards. It was about $15. I did a search on the microenter web site for "keyboard labels" and found them. Keyboard Labels Ric Dear Ric Thanks for that info! Have FUN! DearWebby From Dani Hi Webby, I also wore off the letters on my keyboard. I took a plain white label and wrote the letters that were missing and attached them to the keys. Problem solved. Dani Thanks Dani! That would definitely be the cheapest solution! Have FUN! DearWebby
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As I left the supermarket, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band. "I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to one of the boys. "That you eat it for me." As I handed him back the candy bar, he shook his head. "I can't," he said. "Why not?" Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "Because I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Book Exchange Party One year, my daughter hosted a book exchange for some of her friends and neighbors. Kids brought their used books and took turns selecting new old books. We baked a cake shaped like a book and that was it. The kids played outside afterward. No expense but for the cake and everyone had some books to enjoy afterward. By Jackie from Medinah, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
What's an eight letter word that has only one letter in it? An envelope!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro- perly in case of emergency. If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact the receptionist."
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How to replace worn off Laptop keyboard Lettering 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1421 Dikes at Dort Holland breaks, 100,000 drown
1492 Christopher Columbus signs contract with Spain to find the Indies
1521 Martin Luther is excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church 
1524 Giovanni Verrazano, a florentine navigator, discovers New York Bay
1711 Charles VI Habsburg becomes king of Austria 
1808 Napoleon orders seizure of US ships 
1824 Russia abandons all North American claims south of 54º 40' N 
1861 Virginia become 8th state to secede 
1939 Stalin signs British-France-Russian anti-nazi pact 
1941 British troops land in Iraq and Yugoslavia; surrender to Nazi's 
1945 8th Air Force bombs Dresden for 3 days
1946 Syria declares independence from French administration
1961 1,400 Cuban exiles land in Bay of Pigs attempt to overthrow Castro
1964 Ford Mustang formally introduced ($2368 base) 
1967 Surveyor 3 launched; soft lands on Moon, April 20
1975 Khmer Rouge captures Phnom Penh, Cambodia
1982 Canada adopts its constitution 
1983 India entered space age launching SLV-3 rocket
1997 John Bell, 115, recieves new pacemaker 
2012  smiled


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Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble. --- Samuel Johnson
Bob was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

Bob sets up his friend Mike to go on a blind date with his cousin. Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Mike, "I'll be with her all night." "Don't worry," Bob says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake a heart attack." That night Mike knocks at the girl's door. When she comes out he is awe-struck at how hot and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly grabs for her chest and lets out a loud ... "Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"
Click on the picture for the large version Iceland Northern Fjallabak
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Lawrence Deptola, 49, of Cottage Place in Utica, NY Man attempted to rob three banks with a toilet plunger A Utica man faces felony charges. Police say he attempted to rob three different banks armed with a toilet plunger. Surveillance photos captured the suspect entering the Key Bank on Genesee Street Thursday afternoon. Around 1:30 Thursday afternoon, Utica Police responded to the Key Bank for a report of an attempted robbery. Officers also were contacted by two other banks that said the man had also entered there and demanded money. Bank employees say he came in started yelling obscenities, telling them to put money in a bag. Police say he threatened the tellers with the plunger. Officers in an unmarked car responded to the scene and saw the suspect walking away. When the suspect saw the officers, he ran. Police caught up with him and took him into custody. Lawrence Deptola, 49, of Cottage Place in Utica is charged with attempted robbery, a class "E" felony. The plunger was recovered inside Citizen's Bank.
Tech Support Pits: From: Robert Re: Laptop keyboard lettering Dear Webby The white lettering on my laptop keyboard is coming off. Is there a way to replace it???? Robert Dear Robert You can try Letraset and then seal it with a drop of marine spar varnish or clear nail polish. You can get letraset at art supply stores. They are getting away from clean industrial fonts and drifting to artsy-fartsy stuff, but one or tow of their fonts are usable. The alternative is to get a super-fine Nissen paint marker. They are actually made for industrial use in machine shops and welding shops for lay-out and identifying pieces, and the paint is extremely durable. You can order them online at Nissen Markers. Depending on the size you get, they are $4 - $6 each. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class. Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said, "Did you write this poem all by yourself?" The student said, "Every word of it." The professor said, "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Poe. However, all these books here say you are dead. Since I can not correct all the books about you, .... Which way would you like to die ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Craft Patterns I love to sew, but one thing I don't like is trying to get the pattern pieces back into those little envelopes that have the pattern in it originally. I knew I had to do something. I went to an office supply store and bought some cheap file folders. I sew them along the sides then cut the pattern envelope to the size of the file folder and tape or glue it on the outside. It is so much easier to fold the pattern pieces to fit the file folder. I bought a file cabinet at an auction for $1.00 and I was set. No more frustration. By Carole from Klamath, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man spent several hours enduring long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles. On his way home, he stopped to pick up a gift for his son. He selected a baseball bat. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash!" the man snapped, then apologizing for his rudeness, he explained, "I've just spent the entire afternoon at the Motor Vehicle office." "I understand," the clerk replied, and then asked, "Shall I gift wrap the bat, or ... are you going back there?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. One of the old farmers stood up and said, "What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes a pig has?" Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots, Bobo, and if you can count that high, count them yourself!"
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More Change 








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Conspiracy Theory? 


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"e" symbol on European packages 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 16

The Enemy Times blares in their headlines:
"Suicide bombers and gunmen struck the Afghan capital and
three provinces in a clear attempt to erode confidence in
NATO and Afghan military gains."

I would say Bull Sheet!

They are not trying to send a message like that at all.
The Taliban would prefer it, if the NATO troops went elsewhere.
It's simply time for the traditional spring "offensive", 
that goes back to long before NATO arrived there.
Once upon a time, the CIA supplied them with ammo to shoot
at the Russians during the spring event, now it is the other way
around. 

Apparently it is very noisy there in spring.
NATO troops are sitting back and watching the festivities,
and hoping the Afghan Government will ask them to participate.
So far they haven't. 

Even though the Taliban and the Afghan forces and police are
using up ammo in record amounts, so far the spring offensive
has only caused 14 injuries amongst police and 11 amongst 
civilians. Keep in mind, Taliban are not uniformed. They count
as civilians, unless they are holding a gun.

With the amount of ammo being expended, and the skills of the
participants, or lack thereof, those injuries are quite likely 
not caused by enemies. That is to be expected during 
spring break events, ahem, the Spring Offensive!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1346 King Stefanus IX of Serbia proclaims himself czar of Greece 
1521 Martin Luther arrives at Diet of Worms 
1705 Queen Anne of England knights Isaac Newton at Trinity College 
1724 1st Easter observed 
1861 US President Abraham Lincoln outlaws business with confederate states 
1862 Slavery abolished in District of Columbia 
1866 Nitroglycerine at Wells Fargo & Company office explodes 
1908 Natural Bridges National Monument established (Lake Powell UT)
1917 Lenin returns to Russia to start Bolshevik Revolution
1938 Great-Britain recognizes Italian annexation of Abyssinia
1939 Stalin requests British, French & Russian anti-nazi pact 
1942 Japanese occupying army on Java installs film censorship 
1946 1st US launch of captured V-2 rocket, White Sands NM; 8 km altitude 
1947 Massive explosion & fire kills 500 in Texas City TX 
1953 British royal yacht Britannica taken out of service 
1956 1st solar powered radios go on sale 
1962 Brazil nationalizes US businesses 
1979 Failed Palestinian attack on Zaventem Airport in Belgium
1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaims Canada's new constitution 
2012  smiled


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Inspiration is wonderful when it happens, but the writer must develop an approach for the rest of the time... The wait is simply too long. --- Leonard Bernstein Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. --- Jon Lithgow 'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. --- Malaclypse the Younger Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think. --- Niels Bohr "Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity." --- Frank Leahy
>From Judy "I fall in love really quickly and this scares guys away. I'm like, 'I'm in love with you, I want to marry you, I want to move in with you! I want to bear your kids!' They usually reply with such bland and unromatic stuff like, 'Ma'am, just give me the ten bucks for the pizza and I'm outta here.'"
Knitting For Profit An Exciting New Book That Shows Step-by-step How To Make Money From Knitting Or Crochet. Great For Home-based Business And Work-at-home Mums, And Learning How To Turn A Hobby Into Real Cash Income! No knitting patterns, but REAL step by step business plans and complete business advice!

Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture by her friend Brenda Click on the picture for the large version Near Tucson, AZ
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Teresa Agayo, 46, Costa Mesa, California Jailed After Beating Store Clerk Over Bottle Of Beer Teresa Aguayo, a 46-year-old Orange County woman was jailed Sunday after she attacked a store clerk because the store couldn't sell her an individual bottle of beer. Teresa Aguayo, 46, is being held on suspicion of attempted murder. Costa Mesa police say Aguayo attacked a clerk at the California Stop, 600 W. 19th Street in Costa Mesa, Sunday afternoon after she refused to sell the woman one bottle of beer. California Stop does not sell single beers, according to officials. Aguayo proceeded to hit the clerk on the head with the bottle and then tried to strangle her with a blanket, officials said. Police say Aguayo also rubbed acetone, bug spray and rubbing alcohol in the clerk’s face during the attack. The female clerk was taken to a local hospital for observation. Aguayo is being held on $500,000 bail at an Orange County jail.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: Euro symbol versus beat up "e" Dear Webby On items from Europe I see a symbol that looks like a slightly beat up "e", but the same size as a CAP letter. Is that a lazy form for the Euro symbol, or what is it? Ron Dear Ron Europeans tend to get snotty about you calling it an "e", as if you had called the Pi symbol "the little milking stool". The "beat up e" is the ESTIMATED symbol. The Estimated symbol indicates that at some time in history the contents should have weighed about what is indicated on the package. That is not to be construed, that it has actually been weighed, just that the package designer has ESTIMATED, that the contents should weigh about that much. It is often fairly close, but when they use the symbol, you can't sue them about small differences. It also comes into play with pasta. They use a certain number of, for example, Lasagna noodles. They are not going to file down a noodle, or add a splinter of one to make the weight closer to what the package says. With the symbol, it is close enough. Have FUN! DearWebby
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One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Cut Flowers Last Longer To prolong the life of cut flowers in a vase, add a couple of drops of chlorine bleach. Never submerse any of the stem with leaves in the water. It adds to the decay factor. By Teresa from Vine Grove, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
In primitive society, when privileged members dressed funky, beat the ground with clubs and yelled and screamed, it was called witchcraft; today, it is called golf.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. "This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it." "What's the curse?" the man asked. "Mr. Klopman."
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How to create new PDF files without Adobe 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, April 15
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1250 Pope Innoncent III refuses Jews of Cordova Spain to build a synagogue 
1450 French defeat English at Battle of Formigny in 100 Years' War 
1493 Columbus meets with King Ferdinand & Queen Isabella
1738 Bottle opener invented
1776 Duchess of Kingston found guilty of bigamy 
1800 James Ross discovers North Magnetic pole
1858 Battle of Azimghur, Mexicans defeat Spanish loyalists
1864 General Steeles' Union troops occupies Camden AR 
1878 Harley Procter introduces Ivory Soap
1892 General Electric Company forms
1900 An early 50 mile race is won by an electric car in over 2 hour
1912 Titanic sinks at 2:27 AM in North Atlantic as the band plays on
1941 1st helicopter flight of 1 hour duration, Stratford CT 
1948 1st Jewish-Arab military battle, Arabs defeated 
1952 1st B-52 prototype test flight
1952 Franklin National Bank issues 1st bank credit card
1955 Ray Kroc starts the McDonald's chain of fast food restaurants (Illinois) 
1959 Fidel Castro begins US goodwill tour 
1962 US national debt above $300,000,000,000 (1/3 Trillion)
1970 Libyan leader Qadhafi launches "Green Revolution" 
1986 US air raids Libya, responding to La Belle disco, Berlin bombing 
1989 95 crushed to death at Sheffield Soccer Stadium in England 
1989 Students in Beijing pro-democracy protests 
1992 Billionaire Leona Helmsley is sent to jail for tax evasion
2012  smiled


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Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity. --- Albert Camus Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. --- Scott Adams
College student: "Hey, Dad! I've got some great news for you!" Father: "What, son?" College student: "Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean's list?" Father: "I certainly do." College student: "Well, you get to keep it!"
Nobody was interested in the 100 book cook book library. Let's try this:
Knitting For Profit An Exciting New Book That Shows Step-by-step How To Make Money From Knitting Or Crochet. Great For Home-based Business And Work-at-home Mums, And Learning How To Turn A Hobby Into Real Cash Income! No knitting patterns, but REAL step by step business plans and complete business advice!

Thanks to Merryl for this: After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?" "Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all mine." The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?" "Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those things, I would have used them by now." The official allowed us to pass without opening a single suitcase.
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Near Tucson
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Edith Shellow, 39 in Macon, Georgia Jailed After Stabbing Husband In Groin With Screwdriver, Beating Him With Wrench Macon, Ga. (The Weekly Vice) - Edith Shellow, a 39-year-old Georgia woman was jailed Sunday after she stabbed her husband in the genitals with a screwdriver, then beat him in the head with a big wrench. According to Macon Police, Shellow and her husband were involved in an argument Sunday when the dispute turned decidedly violent. Investigators say Edith Shellow charged towards her husband with a pair of scissors. Her husband reportedly grabbed the scissors and attempted to call 911. While the husband was dialing the phone, Shellow reportedly called for her daughter to help restrain her husband while striking him in the face and head with a big wrench. The husband was defending himself from the daughter, when Shellow grabbed a Phillips screwdriver and stabbed him in the groin. When the husband asked to be taken to a hospital, Edith Shellow grabbed a baseball bat and threatened to beat him with it if he attempted to leave the room. She eventually took him to a hospital at about 3 a.m. the next morning. Edith Shellow was arrested at her home later the same day. She was booked into the Bibb County Jail on a charge of aggravated assault/domestic violence. Her bond was set at $9,550. Shellow's daughter was also arrested, but was not charged with a crime. Ordering her to get involved in the violence would be considered "Mob Action" in some states, but not necessarily in Georgia.
Tech Support Pits: From: Pattie Re: How do I create new PDF files? Dear Webby Is there an easy way to convert regular docs, written with an ordinary word processor, into PDF files, that can not be easily changed and ripped off? Pattie Dear Pattie Just use Open Office. It does have a standard word porcessor, and also can pick up files, that were written with other word processors. In Open Office Write, you simply hit FILE, EXPORT TO PDF choose a file name and hit OK. That is all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband. When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!" he said with appreciation. "It's my old Plymouth Fury!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Can for Filling Freezer Bags I just made a discovery and have got to share it. I have been wishing for a gadget to hold my Zip Lock Freezer Bag open while I fill it. I thought about the tin can and went to my recycling bin and pulled out a 28 oz. Hunt's Tomato can. I cut the bottom out, washed it good and gave it a try. It works great and makes putting stuff in the bag much easier. It fits perfectly down into the quart size bag and can be used on the gallon size bag also. This can will go in my utility drawer now. By Betty from NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After being with his blind date all evening, Sean couldn't takeanother minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The clinic down the road from here finally decided to get a computer. Their bookkeeper was making so many errors, they figured they better get a computer to blame them on.
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How to edit PDF without Adobe 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, April 14

On my walk to the post office today it was nice and sunny,
with the sky in the West clear, but stormy clouds everywhere 
else. About half way there I noticed some rain drops!
It felt quite neat, feeling the warm sun on my face, and 
cool rain drops on top of my head.

The rain drops were sparse enough, so that they did not 
really wet the road or sidewalk. They showed briefly, but
evaporated in a few seconds. I quite enjoyed it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1536 English king Henry VIII expropriate minor monasteries
1614 Pocahontas, daughter of chief Powhatan, marries planter John Rolfe 
1756 Governor Glen of South Carolina protests against 900 Acadia Indians
1792 France declares war on Austria, starting French Revolutionary Wars
1799 Napoleon called for establishing Jerusalem for Jews
1809 Napoleon defeated Austria in the Battle of Abensberg, Bavaria
1814 Napoleon banished to Elba
1828 18-gun sloop "Acorn" sinks off Halifax with 115 men aboard 
1860 1st Pony Express rider arrives in San Francisco CA from St Joseph MO 
1863 William Bullock patents continuous-roll printing press
1865 President Abraham Lincoln shot in Ford's Theatre by John Wilkes Booth 
1871 Canada sets denominations of currency as dollars, cents, & mills 
1872 Dominion Lands Act passed-Canada's Homestead Act 
1894 1st public showing of Thomas Edison's kinetoscope (moving pictures) 
1903 Dr Harry Plotz discovers vaccine against typhoid
1909 Anglo-Persian Oil Company forms in London
1912 The Titanic strikes iceberg off the coast of Halifax, Nova Scotia
1914 Stacy G Carkhuff patents non-skid tire pattern 
1931 Spain becomes republic with overthrow of King Alfonso XIII 
1935 Sandstorm ravages US midwest (Dust Bowl) 
1940 Allied troops land in Norway 
1940 RCA demonstrates its new electron microscope in Philadelphia
1941 1st massive German raid in Paris France, 3,600 Jews rounded up
1941 King Peter leaves Yugoslavia 
1945 American B-29 incendiary raids on Tokyo damage the Imperial Palace
1948 A flash of light is observed in the crater Plato on the Moon
1953 Viet-Minh offensive in Laos
1956 Ampex Corp demonstrates 1st commercial videotape recorder 
1958 Sputnik 2 (with dog Laika) burns up in atmosphere 
1961 1st live television broadcast from the Soviet Union
1961 Cuban-American invasion army departs Nicaragua 
1967 In the Vietnam War, US planes bomb Haiphong for 1st time 
1971 Supreme Court upheld busing as means of achieving racial desegregation 
1978 Korean Air Lines Boeing 707, fired on by Soviets, crashes in Russia
1980 1st Cubans of the Mariel boatlift sail to Florida 
1981 1st Space Shuttle-Columbia 1-returns to Earth 
1986 US aircraft tested in bombing 5 locations in Libya after 
   non-stop flight from US (with aerial refueling, and landing in England afterwards.
1988 USSR, US, Pakistan & Afghanistan sign Afghanistan treaty
1989 1,100,000,000th Chinese born
1992 UN-imposed embargo against Libya takes effect
2012  smiled


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Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. --- Thomas Sowell
A young guide took a man hunting. The man got a good share of ground squirrels but, unhappy with the lack of real sport, said, "Young fella, take me where there's some action. There's some danger in going after cougar, or puma, or bear." The young man said, "If you're looking for danger, you ought to go out hunting with my dad. Last week he shot my uncle."
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

When I was in Navy boot camp, we were required to write home once a week. My mother promised return letters from the family. The best one I received was from my kid brother. "Hi," he wrote. "I miss you very much. I have to do the dishes every night."
Click on the picture for the large version Iguazu Falls
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Megan Denman, 29, in Fresno, California 5th Fresno teacher in 8 month jailed after Sex With Student Fresno, Calif. (The Weekly Vice) - Megan Denman, a 29-year-old teacher at Hoover High School in Fresno has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with a student. According to Fresno police, Denman performed oral sex on and slept with a student under the age of 18. Denman has been placed on paid administrative leave by school officials while the investigation continues. Denman, who also assists as a cheerleading coach at the school, was reportedly married just 18 months ago. She was booked into the Fresno County Jail on charges of sex with a minor and oral sex with a person under the age of 18. She was released after posting $55,000 bail. There definitely seems to be a trend showing recently. Recently married teachers pick on gossipy students for extra sex. Sex between teachers and students has been going on for thousands of years, but in the past, nobody talked.
Tech Support Pits: From: Maurice Re: Can you edit PDF files? Dear Webby Is it possible to edit PDF files without shelling out $900 for that Adobe program? I just need to fill out forms, that are in PDF, so that I can fax them back from the computer. Maurice Dear Maurice Yes, sure you can! I use PDF Exchange from Tracker. They have a free version, which is mainly a viewer, but lets you do some basic editing. The more advanced versions give you complete control of PDF files, as if you had them in a word processor. One word of caution, though, the program has been written in England, and you might find the top menu not very intuitive. It works, but takes some getting used to. Just like electro-mechanics cuss about "weird limey logic" when working on British equipment, you might be doing some cussing until you get the hang of it. One tip, to enter data into a spot on a PDF form, you don't click on "EDIT" or "INSERTt", but on "TYPEWRITER". Weird, by our logic, but it does work! However, to paste a transparent background GIF picture with your signature, there you use EDIT, PASTE. You can then grab the corners of the signature picture and stretch or squish it to fit. If you have to fill out a big stack of forms, you will get used to the British logic soon, and even get fast at it. However, if you use the program only at tax time, make a text file with notes and tips in YOUR words, so that you can refresh your knowledge next year at this time with a minimum of cussing. For Home use you can now get PDF-XChange Lite for FREE. Just download it and start using it. If you need more features, buy the PRO license and unlock the already installed PRO features. That company has recently moved to Vancouver Island in BC, but the program is still unmistakenly British. Have FUN! DearWebby
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An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter Soviet offensive tactics. That summer, the area had experienced an infestation of rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given one magazine of live ammunition to counter this danger, as several men had already been bitten. So much ammunition was expended shooting, supposedly, at snakes that the post commander demanded that every officer and NCO who had shot at a snake present the dead snake as proof that the expenditure of rounds was justifiable. The next day, the post commander entered his office and spotted a shoe box on his desk. He opened it, revealing a sleepy and sluggish, but very live, rattlesnake. Inside the box were twenty expended cartridges, and a short note. The note said, "I missed!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Eggs Until a good friend shared this tip with me, I did not know that fresh eggs can be whisked together and frozen for up to six months. I have been doing this for over a year now. I buy large eggs when they are on sale in the 18 pack cartons. I keep out about six for use in the fridge and then whisk together whites and yolks of the remaining 12 eggs until just combined. I then measure them into my ice ice-cube trays, using 3 Tbsp. of the mixture per segment (3 Tbsp. is equivalent to 1 large egg). Freeze them until solid, then transfer the cubes to a freezer bag for up to 6 months. Don't forget to date the freezer bag. When ready to use take out one or more and thaw in the refrigerator. By Bobbie G from Rockwall, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. Common sign in Arizona. If you don't see the sign in or before a dip, wait for some silly tourist to try driving through. and take pictures. Other funny signs: Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A beautiful young lady arrived breathlessly at the church, jsut as the congregation was rushing to their cars. "Is - m - ass - out?" she panted to one of the slower dowagers. "No, child, but your skirt IS a little short," she replied. Her well-endowed sister tried to enter the church the following week and was refused by one of the ushers because he felt she wasn't properly attired. "But, I have a divine right!" she argued. The usher answered, "And your left isn't bad either, but you can't come in here unless you cover them up a bit more." That usher got fired that day.
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How do you set up a Signature Block in Windows Live Mail 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Snow again, but first it rained a bit. I have a hunch by
Sunday I'll see the first daffodils!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0837 Best view of Halley's Comet in 2000 years
1204 Crusaders occupy, sack and plunder Constantinople
1556 Portuguese Marranos who revert back to Judaism burned by order of Pope 
1741 Dutch people protest bad quality of bread
1860 1st Pony Express reaches Sacramento CA 
1861 After 34 hours of bombardment, Fort Sumter surrenders to Confederates
1869 Steam power brake patented (George Westinghouse) 
1902 JC Penney opens his 1st store in Kemmerer WY 
1941 Russian-Japan no-attack treaty goes into effect 
1943 Nazi's discover mass grave of Polish officers near Katyn
1944 South Carolina rejects black suffrage
1945 Allies occupy Wien (Vienna) without resistance
1945 US marines conquer Minna Shima off Okinawa 
1959 Vatican edict forbids Roman Catholics from voting for communists
1961 UN General Assembly condemns South Africa for apartheid 
1962 US steel industry forced to give up price increases
1970 Apollo 13 announces "Houston, we've got a problem!" as oxygen tank
       explodes en route to Moon
1975 Christian Falange kills 27 Palestinians, begins Lebanese civil war
1983 Undefeated middleweight boxer Tony Ayala gets 35 years on sex assault 
1987 Portugal signs agreement to return Macau to China (in 1999) 
1994 President guard at Kigali Rwanda, chops 1,200 church members to death
1994 Target date for Israeli complete withdrawal, doesn't occur 
2012  smiled


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There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking. --- Thomas A. Edison We are more ready to try the untried when what we do is inconsequential. Hence the fact that many inventions had their birth as toys. --- Eric Hoffer In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. --- Johann von Neumann
Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they all left. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. "This I've got to see," I thought. They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off.
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."
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***
Tech Support Pits: From: DJ Re: How do you set up a Signature Block in Windows Live Mail I have windows 7 with windows live mail. I cannot find the signature line that you spoke of today. any idea where to look? thanks, D.J. Dear DJ I have never touched Windows Live Mail, but according to Google, it is quite easy: Select the Menu in Windows Live Mail Select Tools | Options Go to the Signatures tab. Click New under Signatures. Type the text of your signature under Edit Signature. Hit OK Have FUN! DearWebby
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As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important. Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you." Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice. "Where did the $82,500 come from?" he asked. "Oh, that's the money I made selling all the doilies."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Colander to Remove Excess Salt from Nuts We love pistachios, but many times they have a lot of salt on them. I discovered that by shaking them in a mesh colander, I was able to removed a large quantity of the salt. I also shake pumpkin seeds. By mascenika from Westminter, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Scanning the phone book for a garbage collection service, I came across one that clearly wasn't afraid to tackle any job. Their ad read: "Residential hauling. All types of junk removed. No load too large or too small. Garages, basements, addicts."
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Importance of signature block 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 12

Dear Webby, 
I want to tell your readers that, based on your recommendation, 
I purchased a couple of printer ink cartridges from Atlantic
 InkJet via the web. They work perfectly in my HP multifunction
printer, and they even paid for the shipping!  

So the next time someone complains about the few 
ads you have, just remind them how to unsubscribe. 
That was good and valuable information.
Cheers! 
Scott


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1065 Pilgrims under bishop Günther of Bamberg reach Jerusalem
1204 4th Crusade occupies & plunders Constantinople
1545 French king François I orders protestants of Vaudois to be killed 
1654 England, Ireland & Scotland unite
1811 1st US colonists on Pacific coast arrive at Cape Disappointment WA
1844 Texas became a US territory
1861 Fort Sumter SC is shelled by Confederacy, starting the Civil War
1863 Gunboat battle at Bayou Teche LA
1905 French Dufaux brothers test helicopter 
1908 Fire makes 17,000 homeless in Chelsea MA
1919 British Parliament passes a 48-hour work week with minimum wages
1927 General Chiang Kai-shek begins counter revolution in Shanghai 
1931 Spanish voters reject the monarchy 
1934 Highest velocity wind ever recorded on Mount Washington NH, 231 mph 
1940 Italy annexes Albania 
1945 Canadian troops liberate Nazi concentration camp Westerbork, Netherlands
1945 Richard Strauss completes his "Metamorphosis" 
1946 Syria gains independence from France
1954 Bill Haley & the Comets record "Rock Around the Clock" 
1955 Salk polio vaccine safe & effective; 4 billion dimes marched 
1966 1st B-52 bombing on North Vietnam
1973 France recognizes North Vietnam 
1981 Maiden voyage Space Transit System-space shuttle Columbia launched 
1987 Texaco files for bankruptcy 
1988 Sonny Bono elected mayor of Palm Springs CA
1992 Trump Shuttle becomes US Air Shuttle 
2012  smiled


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I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. --- Herbert Rappaport
An unemployed actor is getting pretty desperate for work. He happens upon this guy that needs actors for a zoo that couldn't get the permits to import a new ape. The actor thinks that this is stupid, but he takes the job anyway. He gets bored and decides to walk around and examine his cage. With this, he notices that people are watching his every move. He decides to give them a show. Soon, he is swinging on the poles and dancing around making a lot of gorilla noises and is drawing quite a crowd. One day, he is showing off for a group of kids. He is swinging around and around a pole, when all of a sudden, his hand slips and he goes flying over the cage wall and right into the lion's pit. Immediately the lion is stalking him. The actor backs up as far as he can, and when he sees no other option, he start screaming "HELP !" With that, the lions growls. "Shut up, you idiot, or you'll get us all fired!"
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry...we can't hire you." "But wait", he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!" "Really? Great! Show me!" "So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking. "Well", said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country!" "Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!" "Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?" "Oh, that", he laughed, "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winked, and asked for aspirin?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Calvin Coolidge Wiggins, 31 Phony Postal Inspector Busted For Swiping Pot Shipments MARCH 5--On the hunt for illegal narcotics being shipped via Express Mail, a Michigan man allegedly repeatedly entered a sorting facility, claimed to be a postal inspector, and walked out with dozens of parcels, many of which contained marijuana, investigators charge. According to a criminal complaint filed yesterday in U.S. District Court in Detroit, Calvin Coolidge Wiggins, 31, said, “You got me” when questioned Saturday morning by federal agents who had arrested him outside the Priority Mail Center in Romulus. Wiggins, an investigator reported, admitted that he “previously had been involved in mailing Marijuana via USPS Express Mail and was tired of having the parcels seized.” So he allegedly sought to seize the parcels of other drug traffickers. A surveillance team spotted Wiggins entering the facility on March 3 and walking “towards the area of the plant where the Express Mail was being processed.” There, Wiggins was seen taking two parcels and placing them into a wheeled hamper. Wiggins told federal agents that on “numerous occasions” he had gone to the Romulus facility and “posed as a Postal Inspector in order to steal Express Mail parcels which he believed contained controlled substances,” according to an affidavit sworn by a postal inspector. Many of the pinched parcels “did contain Marijuana,” revealed Wiggins, who estimated that he had swiped between 40 and 50 Express Mail packages. The probe of the mail thefts began in January, when postal inspectors determined that multiple packages destined for the Detroit area went missing. Many of the parcels were characteristic of packages that, in the past, had been found to contain controlled substances. Last month, a review of surveillance footage showed a black male suspect entering the Romulus plant on Saturday, February 11 and walking out with eight packages ranging in weight from two to 28 pounds. The swiped parcels “all originated from known narcotic source areas,” noted Postal Inspector Edmond Rose. Anticipating that the suspect would return, federal agents Saturday staked out the Priority Mail Center, where they allegedly caught Wiggins in the act. Wiggins was named in a two-count felony complaint charging him with theft of mail and impersonating a government employee. At a court appearance yesterday, a magistrate judge freed Wiggins on a $10,000 unsecured bond. Records show that Wiggins is a registered sex offender as a result of a sexual battery conviction in Ohio. He first registered in June 2000, and will have to remain on the offender list for the rest of his life.
Spouse [noun]; A person who will stand by you through all of the trouble that you wouldn't have had, if you had stayed single.

Tech Support Pits: From: Hey You! Re: What do you mean with Signature Block What do you mean with Signature Block Dear "Hey You!" Have you ever noticed that AOLers, and recent graduates from AOL, are anonymous "Hey YOU!"s, just anonymous hecklers in the ditch, and that other people sign off with a proper signature line? Every email program has the option to automate that, and automatically append your signature. You can do it formally, with a mug-shot, like I do, or classical like Vestrum Vere Julius Ceasar or casual like See ya later, alligater Betty-Sue or flowery like With love and horny anticipation Penelope Oglethorp-Smythe III or whatever you like, as long as it includes the name, that you want to see after the "Dear" in the salutation of the reply coming back to you. You can change your name. That is quite OK. I don't mind seeing Sincerly and soberly Hortensia (formerly Penelope) It gives me a name to use after the DEAR, and a real person to write to. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Six-year-old called mother from Charlie's house and confessed that a lamp had been broken by throwing a ball in their living room. "But, Mom," said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Summer Fun Box School is almost out! A great surprise gift idea for elementary-aged children, grandchildren, or nieces and nephews is a 'Summer of Fun' surprise package. Try to think of all the things you loved as a child. Your grandchild, child or niece/nephew will probably have a little of you in them. I did this last summer and my granddaughter was absolutely delighted! Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Little Johnny wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test: Tester: If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny : SEVEN! Tester : No, listen carefully again. If I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny : SEVEN! Tester : Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, and two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got? Little Johnny : SIX. Tester : Good! Now, if I give you two Rabbits, and two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Little Johnny : SEVEN! Tester : How on Earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven? Little Johnny : I've already got one rabbit at home!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Whatever could have happened?" he thinks, "Who died?" "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart," she sobs, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. I'll get you a new cat in the morning."
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Problems with wide monitor 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, April 11

Thank you John B!

I went to the Dollar Store to get coffee filters, and as usual,
had a quick look around. There are always some chuckles.
Today's chuckle was a USB powered keyboard vaccuum cleaner.
I din't buy it, of course. Since I stopped smoking over a 
year ago, my keyboard does not need daily vacuuming any more,
but it was funny to see a little USB powered vacuum cleaner
priced at $1.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1814 1st abdication of France by Napoleon; he is exiled to Elba 
1848 Hungary becomes constitutional monarchy under king Ferdinand of Austria
1895 Anaheim completes its new electric light system
1900 US Navy's 1st submarine made its debut 
1906 Einstein introduces his Theory of Relativity
1939 Hungary leaves League of Nations
1941 Germany blitzes Conventry, England 
1944 RAF bombs census bureau in The Hague
1945 Allies liberate abandoned Buchenwald Nazi concentration camp 
1950 Prince Rainier III becomes ruler of Monaco
1950 US B-29 bomber shot down above Latvia
1951 President Harry Truman fires General Douglas McArthur 
1956 French government sends 200,000 reservists to Algeria
1960 1st US weather satellite launched (Tiros 1) 
1965 40 tornadoes strike US midwest killing 272 & injuring 5,000 
1970 Apollo 13 launched to Moon; unable to land, returns in 6 days
1977 Ireland sets fishing zone at 50 mile 
1979 Ugandan dictator Idi Amin overthrown; Tanzania takes Kampala
1992 Euro-Disney opens near Paris France
2012  smiled


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Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. --- Philip Guedalla "It is well enough that the people of this nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning." --- Henry Ford
Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver from http://stonecarver.com for this story: A minister in a little church announced from the pulpit, "Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Brother Martin's hen house please refrain from giving any money to the Lord. The Lord doesn't want money from a thief." That week for the first time in months, everyone gave.
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

My home church welcomes all denominations, but mainly they prefer tens and twenties.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Tammy Roseman, 40, in Vero beach, Florida Naked and drunk again VERO BEACH, Fla. (UPI) -- Florida authorities say a woman offered them no good explanation for her being naked in a parked car. An Indian River County deputy sheriff found Tammy Roseman "au naturel" in the front seat of her boyfriend's car while investigating a disturbance in Vero Beach on the afternoon of March 23. "I inquired why she was in a parked vehicle without any clothes at this time of day," a report states. She could offer no explanation. The investigator deduced alcohol probably had something to do with the situation and busted her for disorderly intoxication. Roseman's boyfriend told deputies the nudity didn't begin in the car. He said he came home earlier in the day and found her naked, drunk and busting up the place. The TC Palm said the arrest was not the first for the 40-year-old Roseman that involved public exposure. She was busted last year for allegedly dropping her pants as a school bus full of elementary kids passed by, and another time for walking in front of a busy mall showing off her breasts.
Tech Support Pits: From: Rose Re: Problem with wide (sawed off) monitor I have a new Dell monitor. My pictures and games are all too wide. How can I change the settings to make them normal. Rose Dear Rose Sounds like you chose to disregard my suggestions, and selected a "sawed off" monitor, that has the bottom third missing. They DO sell 4:3 monitors at DELL, for example the Dell UltraSharp 2007FP 20.1'' LCD Monitor, but you can find a lot better deals from other companies. If you choose to keep the "sawed off" monitor, you will just have to get used to the bottom third sawed off. Lots of people got used to that. Just set the resolution to the best your computer and your monitor can handle, and get used to not having that bottom third. If you look for 4:3 monitors at Pricegrabber, you can find some beautiful monitors at surprisingly low cost. I bought my 1600 x 1200 Lenovo monitor there a few years ago for $199, and am VERY happy with it. By the way, with monitors don't hesitate to buy "Refurb" units. They are usually returns because they were too large and would not fit into somebody's hutch desk, or some other silly reason. They will be just like brand new, but most likely in non-standard packaging. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Taxiing down the tarmac, the jet abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she explained. "It's OK now. It just took a while to find a pilot who is deaf."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Summer Fun Box School is almost out! A great surprise gift idea for elementary-aged children, grandchildren, or nieces and nephews is a 'Summer of Fun' surprise package. Try to think of all the things you loved as a child. Your grandchild, child or niece/nephew will probably have a little of you in them. I did this last summer and my granddaughter was absolutely delighted! Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"Hey Bubba, what do you think about gun control?" "Well, Betty-Sue, it means yall have to use both hands."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?"
» Optical Illusions





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Laptop battery draindown 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 10

Thank you John B!

Today in 
0837 Comet Halley approaches within 0.0334 astronomical units (AUs) of Earth 
1516 1st ghetto, Jews are compelled to live in specific area of Venice 
1656 Dutch fleet occupies Colombo Ceylon
1790 Robert Gray is 1st American to circumnavigate the Earth 
1825 1st hotel in Hawaii opens
1864 Austrian Archduke Maximilian becomes emperor of México
  (That's how Mexicans learned Alpine Brass music)
1912 RMS Titanic sets sail for its 1st & last voyage 
1930 Synthetic rubber 1st produced 
1938 Occupied Austria becomes a state of Germany
1938 New York makes syphilis test mandatory in order to get a marriage license 
1945 Canadian troops conquer Deventer 
1945 US troops land on Tsugen Shima Okinawa 
1961 Adolf Eichmann tried as a war criminal in Israel 
1973 Pakistan suspends constitution 
1995 NYC bans smoking in all restaurants that seat 35 or more
2012  smiled

It's not really warm yet, but thes snow is melting, and the days
are getting longer.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper." --- Francis Bacon
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 3:44 A.M. by his ringing telephone. "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning at precisely 3:44 A.M., Bernard called his neighbor back. "Good morning, Mr. Williams. just called to tell you, that I don't have a dog."
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

An Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead, just when headquarters initiated a call to him. Immediately, he jumped into a jeep and ordered a sergeant to speed to the command station. When the major and the sergeant ran in, the group cheered their arrival. The commanding officer then stepped forward and shook the major's hand. "Don't congratulate me, sir," he said modestly as he pointed to his driver. "It was all the sergeant's doing." The commanding officer nodded and turned to the sergeant. "Congratulations," he said. "The major's wife just had a baby girl."
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Ann, a sharp-eyed reader, asked what the bush in the far right corner of yesterday's pictrue was. It is a "Christus Dorn", Christ Thorn. The bush blooms at Easter, and has very wicked, poisonous thorns, that cause painful swelling and irritation. Nowadays that bush grows in the wild only in Madagascar, and it is a controversial mystery, how it had gotten to Jerusalem 2000 and some years ago, but then totally disappeared from that area. It is shown in drawings and paintings ot the time, but not since then.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to James Patrick Brennan III, 31 in Gresham, Oregon Police dog persuades burglary suspect to give up GRESHAM, Ore. (AP) - A burglary suspect holed up in an Oregon deli refused police commands to come out, but changed his mind after hearing from a police dog. Gresham police say the police dog persuaded 31-year-old James Patrick Brennan III to surrender early Wednesday because the man was worried its bite would be worse than its bark. Apparently, James Patrick Brennan III, 31, was worried about getting bitten. He immediately walked out of the Deli Barn at 2410 S.E. 182 Ave. and surrendered to police, who had already taken Trino Lopez Sr. a suspected accomplice, into custody. The alleged robbery was uncovered at 2:56 a.m. Wednesday by Gresham Officer Mark Hawley, who was on patrol. He noticed a car parked out in front of the deli, which was closed. He remembered the store had been robbed in January and that the surveillance tape had shown a car parked in the same spot at the time of that break-in. Hawley pulled out a pair of binoculars to get a good look from a safe distance, and saw that the glass door had been smashed in. He parked east of the store and crept up on foot, discovering a suspect in the car. He could hear crashing sounds inside the Deli Barn. Hawley ordered the man inside the vehicle, Trino Lopez Sr., 39, to surrender. He did. Hawley and other officers called to the scene ordered Brennan to come out. He refused. That's when the Portland K-9 was called to the scene to try to bark the suspect into giving up. It's a commonly used tactic to keep police from having to use their weapons or risk being hurt themselves, Grandjean said. It worked. Lopez was booked into Multnomah County jail on suspicion of burglary one and possession of methamphetamine. Brennan faces allegations of burglary one, criminal mischief two and possession of burglary tools.
Tech Support Pits: From: Raina Re: laptop battery draindown Dear Webby, How often should a laptop battery be drained down to make sure it does not go stale? I normally have my laptop plugged in all the time. Thanks Raina Dear Raina Once a month is a good time. Just use it without power and drain it down until the computer goes into hybernation. Then plug it back in. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well . . . every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Cloth Napkins Instead Of Paper Our family of four includes two children who can get very messy during mealtime. Instead of having them use cheap one-ply napkins that fall apart the minute you try to wipe your hands with them, I decided to use cloth napkins. The napkins can usually be purchased for $0.50 to a $1.00 each depending on where you buy them. I once purchased a clearance priced set of 4 from Target for a $1.00. I made sure to purchase enough for when we have family over. You can also make your own from old cotton t-shirts but keep in mind the type of fabric you use will determine the amount of absorbency. I would strongly recommend you refrain from decorating the homemade napkins with glitter or puff paint as that might defeat their purpose. By linex_4 from San Antonio, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there. Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?"answered the wife. Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I am lost and I need directions."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Secretary: "My printer is flashing '''Error 13 Paper Out" Buzzy: "Check to see if there is paper in the machine" Secretary: "Already did, no - there is no paper in the machine" Buzzy: "Try filling the paper bin, see if that fixes the 'error''." Secretary: "Hold on.... Yes that fixed it, but every time it runs out of paper I get the error again." Buzzy: Hmmmm, I'll have to research that problem. Might be best if you drop the printer off at my office.
» Knee-high Equines





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Not getting subscriptions on Yahoo 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 9

Five Million Dollars to send Obama's 13 year old daughter 
and 25 Secret Service bodyguards for a brief spring break 
trip to Oaxaca. Mexico, with two jets of course, since 
Muslims are not supposed to fly on the same jet as their dogs, 
I don't know if she has a real dog, or that the Obamas just 
considers the Secret Service bodyguards and bullet shields 
as dogs. 

It's just taxpayer's money, and lots more where that came 
from.

When I still went on spring break in college and university,
I used to go up into the mountains with (fake) seal skins
strapped onto the skis. With those you can climb any mountain,
that has snow on it. We usually overnighted in Alpine Club 
lodges for next to nothing, sometimes in small tents, and
sometimes in snow caves. 

We were just a small group, though, and considered totally
nuts by the rest, who stayed home and watched TV. But I
always suspected, that they were a bit envious.

Today in 
1241 Battle of Liegnitz - Mongol armies defeat Poles & Germans 
1388 Battle of Näfels; Glarius: Swiss defeat Habsburg (Austrian) army 
1682 Robert La Salle claims lower Mississippi (Louisiana) for France 
1829 Danzig (Gdansk) dike break flood kills 1,200
1864 Battle of Pleasant Hill LA, 2870 casualities 
1912 Titanic leaves Queenstown Ireland for New York 
1914 Tampico incident - US ship crew arrested in Mexico
1917 Vimy Ridge France stormed by Canadian troops 
1945 Battleship Admiral Scheer sinks British aircraft carrier 
1957 Suez Canal cleared for all shipping 
1960 South African premier Verwoerd wounded in battle
1965 India & Pakistan engage in border fight 
1967 1st Boeing 737 rolls out. They STILL make those!
1969 1st flight of Concorde 002
1972 USSR & Iraq sign friendship treaty
1973 Netherlands recognizes North Vietnam
1981 US sub George Washington rams Japanese freighter Nisso Maru 
1991 Release of Microsoft MS-DOS 5.0, by many considered to be the last stable OS.
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it." --- Sam Ewing "Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kind of like being the guy on a date." --- Caroline Rhea
One night father was helping with the homework. Father asked "What is the Gross National Product?" pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what happened on Sunday night when she thought she heard a noise downstairs. She nudged me and whispered, "Wake up, wake up!" "What's the matter?" I asked. "There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the broccoli casserole I made tonight." "That'll teach them!" I replied.
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Easter 2012, April 8 Fresh snow outside. The big one in the center is a Echinocereus Matudae.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Joseph Faulk, 27 Drunk street sweeper hits cop car ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- A state street sweeper cleaning up after a crash was allegedly involved in his own crash with a Bernalillo County deputy's patrol car. It happened on Interstate 40 last Friday when 59-year-old Herbert Morgan was called out to clean up a scene. A police report says that after hitting the deputy's patrol car, the deputy asked Morgan to step out of the sweeper and noticed Morgan stumbling and having difficulty walking. The complaint says Morgan was also slurring his words. According to the complaint, Morgan agreed to submit to field sobriety tests, which he failed. The Albuquerque Journal reports a breath test later measured Morgan's blood-alcohol concentration at or above 0.16 percent, which is twice the state's presumed level of intoxication. Morgan was arrested on suspicion of aggravated DWI. Morgan had THREE prior DUI arrests.
Tech Support Pits: From: Louise Re: Problem getting subscriptions at Yahoo I am not getting humor letter at all. louise........@yahoo,com Dear Louise That is normal with your type of Yahoo address. Once your subscription has entered the Yahoo server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. Most yahoos only get about 1/3 of their subscriptions. Until you get a respectable address, you can browse to http://webby.com/humor and see what Yahoo stole from you. I sent you an invitation to Gmail. They are 100% reliable, especially if you make a filter. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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A delightful classic, that keeps coming back: A well-to-do young man met a beautiful young woman at an exclusive party and was immediately smitten with her. He took her on the town and eventually to his apartment where he discovered she was not only a beautiful woman, but also well-groomed, cultured and very intelligent. Hoping to impress her, he offered her a glass of wine and asked whether she preferred Port or Sherry. "Oh, Sherry," she said, "by all means. To me, it's the nectar of the Gods. Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When that gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion... "On the other hand, Port just makes me fart."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Business Cards I like taking calling cards, especially from stores like beauty salons, doctors office, even restaurants. I did not know where to store them. I bought a wallet size photo album from a dollar store ($1) and started putting all the cards I have taken in there. At the back of the calling cards, I note down comments like the hours and days for my favorite hairstylist or for restaurants favorite menus and what not to order (good for take outs). By Rosario from FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Anni noticed something funny about Dawn's ear and she said, "Dawn, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Dawn answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out & stared at it. Then she said, "Anni, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Alice for this: Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its hot lingerie. To my delight, however, I found just what I was looking for. Waiting in the line to pay, I noticed a young woman behind me holding the same nightgown. This confirmed what I suspected all along: despite being over 50, I still have a very "with it" attitude. "I see we have the same taste," I said proudly to the 20 something behind me. "Yes," she replied. "I'm getting this for my grandmother."
» Classy Hot Wheels





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The "Experts" Are Always Right--Right? 

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."
The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what is it good for?"
Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
Bill Gates, 1981

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication.
The device is inherently of no value to us,"
Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible,"
A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper,"
Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,"
Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out,"
Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible,"
Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this,"
Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?
You're crazy,"
Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value,"
Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre , France .

"Everything that can be invented has been invented,"
Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.

"The super computer is technologically impossible. It would take all of the water that flows over Niagara Falls to cool the heat generated by the number of vacuum tubes required."
Professor of Electrical Engineering, New York University

"I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself."
the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse , 1872

And last but not least...

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977





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Worship 


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How to restore the Recycle Bin icon on Windows 7 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, April 8
Happy Easter,  !


Click through for the large version.

Remember what Easter is all about?

Today in 
0563 -BC- Gautama Buddha was born
1759 British troops chase French out of Masulipatam India
1766 1st fire escape patented, wicker basket on a pulley & chain 
1783 Catharina II of Russia annexes the Krim
1802 French Protestant church becomes state-supported & -controlled 
1879 Milk is sold in glass bottles for 1st time 
1940 Germany battle cruiser sinks British aircraft carrier Glorious
1945 Nazi occupiers in Holland executed
1947 Largest recorded number of sunspots (7,000) observed 
1961 British liner "Dara" explodes in Persian Gulf, kills 236
1969 1st Baseball game in Canada - Montréal Expos beats New York Mets 10-9
1994 Smoking banned in Pentagon & all US military bases 
2012  smiled

Woke up to 15 cm (six inches) of snow. It melted off the 
roads fairly fast and by evening most roads were mostly dry.
On the lawns the snow disappeared from the sunny spots
and stayed in the shade. 

Next week we are supposed to get our first rain! 
That will turn the brown lawns green and trigger the flowers.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. --- George Orwell "The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream." --- Harry Kemp
Thanks to Robbie for this one: A few years ago the battery in my beat up Volkswagen Beetle had died because I'd left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work, so I ran into the house to get my girlfriend to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to start our second car, a big old monster sized gas guzzler. I told her we're going to use the big car to push the bug fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission (a rare one, indeed), it needed to be pushed at least 40 miles per hour for it to start. She got in the car and drove off. Drove off? What the hell was she doing? I was waiting in the bug, getting impatient. After a minute I looked in the rear view mirror. She was coming at me at about 40 - 50 miles per hour. I suddenly realized I should have been a little bit clearer with my instructions.
The E-cookbooks Library Discover The All New E-cook books Library! Over 100 Full Length Cookbooks All In PDF Format. Read them on your computer or print them out. Fantastic deal works out to under 18 cents per book! Limited time deal. Get the 100 book Library now!

San Francisco has become the first US city to pay for civil employees' sex change operations. The rest rooms at San Francisco's City Hall are now labeled "Men," "Women," and "Pending."
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Easter 2012 The crimson colored one on the right is the original Easter Cactus, fthe fire red one on the left is a modern hybrid.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Joseph Faulk, 27 Robber left phone with his photo CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- Charlotte-Mecklenburg police say an accused armed robber left his cell phone at the crime scene, complete with a digital photo of himself posing with the same handgun he used to threaten his victims. The Charlotte Observer reports that 27-year-old Joseph Faulk of Brooklyn, N.Y., was arrested Wednesday after officers searched a car in which he was a passenger. They found a pistol and a red bandanna stuffed in the waistband of Faulk's pants. The day before, a man armed with a handgun and wearing a red bandana robbed three men in apartment complexes on the city's east side. During the first robbery, police say Faulk dropped his phone. After his subsequent arrest for firearms possession by a felon, police linked Faulk to the robberies through the phone photo.
Tech Support Pits: From: Iris Re: How do I restore the Recycle Bin icon in W7 ? Dear Webby, My ex klutzed around on my computer, supposedly un-installing some of his programs, and since then the recycle bin icon is gone. While it's easy enough to delete stuff with the delete key, the odd time I need to restore a mistakenly deleted file. For that I need access to the recycle bin. Anybody around here whom I asked, said to just re-install Windows and that would fix it. Isn't there a better way ? Thanks Iris Dear Iris right-click on the desktop and select Personalize, then choose the link for “Change Desktop Icons” on the left-hand side. Now you can chose the icons you want back on the desktop by checking the box next to the name: After you hit APPLY, the recycle bin icon will be on the desktop somewhere, but not necessarily where you expect it. Just keep searching, it is somewhere, and you can drag it to where you prefer it to be. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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A kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support. The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term. "This time you stole a can of tomatoes. Let us suppose that there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?" The woman agreed. "Then I sentence you to six nights in jail." The husband jumped to his feet , addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?" "Well," said his honor, this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench." The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he said in a low voice, "She also stole a can of peas, your honor."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Garden Organizer Bucket Idea Four gallon square buckets fit inside five gallon round buckets. By putting the square one inside the round one, you have a center place for your potting soil and small spaces for the gardening implements and garden stakes. I am enclosing a picture. The four gallon diameter is 9 15/16 inches and the diameter of the five gallon is 11 inches approximately. You may have to play around with the different sizes, but if you have two at home that you can try out, why not? This would also work with boots in the center and umbrellas around the edges, tall and short dried flowers, or anything you want to keep handy and don't want to dig around for. Hope this helps! By Poor But Proud from Sweet Home, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Joe's wife had a sex change. Now it's Wednesday's and Saturday's instead of Tuesday's and Friday's.
» The Water Lilies>





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