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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
North Carolina man arrested for killing newborn 
and toddler daughters: BLM
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 4 in
1581 Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. A few
months earlier he became the first Englishman to
circumnavigate the world. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "OK." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to 'WRITE CLICK' and I wrote 'click'." ______________________________________________________ At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you. Nobody ever gave ME no money or compermising anything." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow." "I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face." When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, free groceries and free rent for the last 16 years, and watch the expression on HIS face!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tillman Freeman III, 30, Fayetteville, North Carolina North Carolina man arrested for killing newborn and toddler daughters: BLM BLM A Fayetteville, North Carolina, mother who had just given birth to a baby girl should have been celebrating her new arrival. Instead, she was frantically trying to find out where her daughter was. Candice Freeman's four-day-old baby, Genesis Freeman, was missing along with her two-year-old sister, Serenity Freeman. The mother went to a doctor's appointment and came home to find her children were gone. She had left them with their father, Tillman Freeman, who was also gone, according to The New York Daily News. Candice Freeman called the police to report her missing children and a search ensued. Tillman was located after employees at a doctor's office in a neighboring town contacted police to “report a man acting suspiciously outside the building.” As ABC7 reports, Tillman was arrested at the scene. He refused to tell police where his daughters were once he was in custody. Tillman was charged with two counts of child neglect and child abuse; but that was just the beginning of the charges the man would come to face. Authorities later found Genesis and Serena's bodies in the woods, in his car. They were both stabbed to death. The reason the children were killed allegedly stems from their father's jealousy. According to WTKR, Tillman believed his wife was cheating on him. According to The Fayetteville Observer, Tillman already has a long rap sheet— he has served time in prison for robbery, assault, and burglary. He was also previously placed on probation for drug and theft charges. Tillman has now been charged with two counts of first degree murder for killing his four-day-old and two-year-old children. He is being held without bail. As for Candice Freeman, she is currently recovering in the hospital. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Terry Re: Blacklist or filters? Dear Webby What is better for controlling spam, blacklisting, or filters? Terry Dear Terry Whenever you spot a pattern, make a filter. Filters are permanent. Your blacklist grows large and unwieldy very quickly, but is usually quite useless, since spammers never re-use the same forged sending address anyway. The only difference you'll notice when you dump your blacklist, is that the program works faster. Filters can work on the body of the email, not just on the usually forged sender address, and they do that no matter how misleading the subject line is. Have FUN! DearWebby
Nancy went into her local hardware store and bought two instant barbeques - the ones with the pictures of succulent foods on the lid. The next day, she returned one of these to the customer service desk at the store complaining that there was no food inside! The assistant patiently told her that these were just barbeque trays and that the food was not supplied with them. "Oh dear" said the lady. "I'd better take the other one out of the freezer then"!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Mineral Deposits from a Tea Kettle By Holly [365 Posts, 1,258 Comments] Best Answer If you have any old lemon juice in the fridge that is too old to be used, boil it in the kettle. Or boil vinegar in the kettle. A couple of soakings, boilings and thorough washings will help. Then use filtered water to keep the pot cleaner. No matter whether you use lemon juice or vinegar, you have to fill up the kettle with it. Right to the top! You don't need a rolling boil, just a gentle simmer for an hour or two. Have FUN! DearWebby
Foot Juggling
____________________________________________________ >From Rose: My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Tina," I commented, "I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?" "At the store," she answered. "Which one?" I asked. She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them!" ___________________________________________________
Start your week with a smile with animal funnies.
A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his accomplishment and was not all surprised when another seaman approached him with a message from the captain. He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My personal congratulations upon completing your underway preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the rules: To ensure that you won't be courtmartialled and hanged for stealing a ship, make sure the Captain is aboard before getting under way."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on April 4

0896 Formosus ended his reign as pope. 

1541 Ignatius of Loyola became the first superior-general of
the Jesuits. 

1581 Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth I. A few
months earlier he became the first Englishman to
circumnavigate the world. 

1687 King James II ordered that his declaration of
indulgence be read in church. 

1812 The territory of Orleans became the 18th U.S. state and
later became known as Louisiana. 

1850 The city of Los Angeles was incorporated. 

1862 In the U.S., the Battle of Yorktown began as Union
General George B. McClellan closed in on Richmond, VA. 

1887 Susanna M. Salter became mayor of Argonia, KS, making
her the first woman mayor in the U.S. 

1902 British Financier Cecil Rhodes left $10 million in his
will that would provide scholarships for Americans to Oxford
University in England. 

1905 In Kangra, India, an earthquake killed 370,000 people. 

1914 The first known serialized moving picture opened in New
York City, NY. It was "The Perils of Pauline". 

1917 The U.S. Senate voted 90-6 to enter World War I on the
Allied side. 

1918 The Battle of Somme, an offensive by the British
against the German Army ended. 

1932 After five years of research, professor C.G. King, of
the University of Pittsburgh, isolated vitamin C. 

1945 At the end of WWII Hungary was liberated from Nazi
occupation. 

1945 At the end of World War II, U.S. forces liberated the
Nazi death camp Ohrdruf in Germany. 

1949 Twelve nations signed a treaty to create The North
Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 

1953 Fifteen doctors were released by Soviet leaders. The
doctors had been arrested before Stalin had died and were
accused of plotting against him. 

1967 The U.S. lost its 500th plane over Vietnam. 

1967 Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show." He returned
three weeks later after getting a raise of $30,000 a week. 

1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age of
39. 

1969 Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first temporary
artificial heart. 

1971 Veterans stadium in Philadelphia, PA, was dedicated
this day. 

1973 In New York, the original World Trade Center twin
towers opened. At the time they were the tallest building in
the world. 

1975 More than 130 people, most of them children, were
killed when a U.S. Air Force transport plane evacuating
Vietnamese orphans crashed just after takeoff from Saigon. 

1979 Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the president of Pakistan, was
executed. He had been convicted of conspiring to murder a
political opponent. 

1981 Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American
elected mayor of a major U.S. city, which was San Antonio,
TX. 

1983 At Cape Canaveral, the space shuttle Challenger took
off on its first flight. It was the sixth flight overall for
the shuttle program. 

1984 U.S. President Reagan proposed an international ban on
chemical weapons. 

1985 In Sudan, a coup ousted President Nimeiry and replaced
him with General Dahab. 

1986 Wayne Gretzky set an NHL record with his 213th point of
the season. 

1987 The U.S. charged the Soviet Union with wiretapping a
U.S. Embassy. 

1988 Arizona Governor Evan Mecham was voted out of office by
the Arizona Senate. Mecham was found guilty of diverting
state funds to his auto business and of trying to impede an
investigation into a death threat to a grand jury witness. 

1990 In the U.S., securities law violator Ivan Boesky was
released from federal custody. 

1991 Pennsylvanian Senator John Heinz and six others were
killed when a helicopter collided with Heinz's plane over a
schoolyard in Merion, PA. 

1992 Sali Berisha became the first non-Marxist president of
Albania since World War II. 

1994 Netscape Communications (Mosaic Communications) was
founded. 

1995 U.S. Senator Alfonse D'Amato ridiculed judge Lance Ito
using a mock Japanese accent on a nationally syndicated
radio program. D'Amato apologized two days later for the
act. 

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, April 3

We got a blizzard going on right now. Three inches of snow
and getting deeper. We are supposed to get our first rain of
the year on the weekend, almost an inch. That will wash away
the winter's dust.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Atlanta man arrested for arson, 
that destroyed major overpass.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 3 in
1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and
Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days.
The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. --- Dorothy Parker ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Liz I got a message that there had been a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account. So, I called my bank and the operator asked me what Josh's last name was and I explained that he hadn't left his last name. When she asked for his department, I said that I didn't know. "There are 1500 employees in this building, Sir!," she told me rather sharply. So I asked her for her name. "Danielle," she said. "And your last name?" I asked. "Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names." "Well, in that case," I replied, "tell the Josh with no last name and no department to send me an email." And hung up. ------------ Sounds like my bank used to be. Now they have some Taliban playing stupid and being useless. When they call me I tell them I can't hear them, and that they should send me an email. They never do. They always figure out their problem without my help. That seems to be easier than finding somebody, who knows how to send an email. ______________________________________________________ On a flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the wing tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Billy-Bob and Bubba were driving a semi down a road when they came to an overpass. The sign said 10 feet zero inches, so they got out to measure their truck. Unfortunately, the truck was just over 12 feet high. They didn't know what to do, when finally Bubba looked in both directions and said, "I don't see any cops, let's go for it!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Basil Eleby, 39, Atlanta, Georgia Basil Eleby Charged With First-Degree Arson in Atlanta blaze The man accused of starting a massive fire that collapsed a crucial stretch of highway north of downtown Atlanta has been charged with arson. Basil Eleby, 39, was in court Saturday to face charges of first-degree arson and first-degree criminal damage to property in connection with the Thursday blaze, which caused an elevated portion of Interstate 85 to crumble. Eleby Has an Extensive Criminal History & Was Previously Arrested 19 Times Eleby, who remains in Fulton County Jail on a $200,000 bond, was arrested Friday along with Sophia Bruner and Barry Thomas, both of whom were charged with criminal trespass. "We believe they were together when the fire was set and Eleby is the one who set the fire," Jay Florence, deputy commissioner of the state Department of Insurance, told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Investigators believe the trio may be homeless. The inferno broke out during rush hour Thursday, quickly devouring construction materials that had been stored underneath the overpass. At around 7 p.m. ET, the bridge gave way in a flaming heap that spewed thick, black smoke that could be seen from miles away. Russell R. McMurry, the commissioner of the Georgia Department of Transportation, said Friday the fire was started in an area used as a storage location for "surplus construction materials," such as polyvinyl chloride (PVC) piping. McMurry said it would take several months to rebuild. "That is no small feat," he told reporters Friday, "but we're up to the challenge." The U.S. Department of Transportation has released $10 million in emergency release funds to the state to kick- start the rebuilding process. No one was injured in the bridge collapse, authorities said Friday. But the dramatic incident snarled traffic around one of the busiest stretches of roadway in America, and Gov. Nathan Deal declared a state of emergency for Fulton County. "This is about as serious a transportation crisis as we can imagine," Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed said late Thursday as commuters scrambled to find new routes home. Officials have said more than 225,000 vehicles pass through the affected area on an average weekday. Authorities do not know how or why Eleby started the fire. Florence said details would be released as the investigation goes forward. Those overpasses are a semi-sanctioned suburb for the homeless, just like in many major cities. To get the homeless out of the business and residential areas, they are tolerated under the overpasses and not hassled there. The problem is that there is no garbage pick-up and a lot of flammable material accumulates. Eleby was observed setting a big, stuffed chair on fire, and that in turn set the stacks of PVC pipes on fire. It is not known yet whether Eleby had planned to use the chair to set the piping on fire, or whether he just wanted to burn the chair. Quite likely this incident will cause many major cities to reconsider allowing their overpasses to be used as sanctuary suburbs for the urban campers to keep them out of residential and commercial areas, and if they should conduct occasional clean-up and garbage pick-up in those areas. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elvira Re: PDF editor Dear Webby On my last machine I used to have a nice PDF editor, but that is gone with that old hard drive. I wasted a day trying to find that one or one like it, but now they all are just phony crap, pretending to be free, but then demanding $60 or more if you want to actually use them. Plus, they are crap that I would not pay $5 for. All I need is something to fill out the occasional forms because my handwriting is getting a bit jittery. Isn't there a good alternative out there? Elvira Dear Elvira There sure is! Yes, all the PDF editors advertised as "Free Download" are indeed phony crap. And I agree, I would not pay $5 for any of them either, never mind $60 or $90 or even more. I use Nitro READER, and have for many years. It is not advertised, just word of mouth from friend to friend. Nitro READER is not just for reading or for form filling. I have even used it for converting ordinary huge docs docs to eBooks. Nitro also works the other way around. You can convert a PDF file to a Word document! You can get it at Nitro You can create PDFs from virtually any Windows application and from over 300 formats. Drag and drop files to instantly create a PDF. Customize your PDFs with tools like custom colors, font- embedding, page size, orientation and output quality or keep it simple with preset options. Convert to plain text Extract images and tons more. They do have a PRO version, but most likely you will be quite pleasantly surprised with the free version. Have FUN! DearWebby
, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?", asked. The woman glanced at s shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. " No!" she said rather sternly. "Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she said again. "Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!" By this time she was shouting. asked, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently. "D'ye suppose," asked, "I might have a word with George?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Smoke Off Walls Kitchen fires, candles and other occurrences can leave smoke residue on your walls. This is a guide about cleaning smoke off walls. By likekinds [244 Posts, 1,143 Comments] I can tell you how I would do it. First, I would get a fan large enough to keep the area well ventilated, place it where it is most effective and turn it on. Next, I would fill a large, clean, empty spray bottle with household ammonia. Add nothing to the ammonia, certainly not bleach. Any type of cleanser added would just cause you to have to rinse and would not improve the effectiveness of the ammonia. With plenty of clean rags handy, start spraying the ammonia at the bottom most area of smoke damage. You will quickly learn just how much to spray and how many seconds to wait before wiping. It needs to stay on the wall 2-3 seconds, but not long enough to run down the wall. From this point, work your way up the wall, either rinsing your rag in clear water often or switching to an unused one. How much ammonia, time and labor is involved depends on the amount of damage. Other suggestions were to use Spray9 or Grease Lightning.
Foot Juggling
____________________________________________________ On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it that said: "Broken." A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building. "What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter and snapping a picture with his phone. "There's plenty of time left!" ___________________________________________________
Start your week with a smile with animal funnies.
John was talking to George "So, George, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," George shook his head. "Whenever I mention sex, they object."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on April 3

1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon landed in Florida.
He had sighted the land the day before. 

1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill. 

1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and
Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days.
The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half. 

1865 Union forces occupy Confederate capital of Richmond,
Virginia. 

1866 Rudolph Eickemeyer and G. Osterheld patented a blocking
and shaping machine for hats. 

1882 The American outlaw Jesse James was shot in the back
and killed by Robert Ford for a $5,000 reward. There was
later controversy over whether it was actually Jesse James
that had been killed. 

1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North
America was climbed. 

1936 Richard Bruno Hauptmann was executed for the kidnapping
and death of the son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh. 

1942 The Japanese began their all-out assault on the U.S.
and Filipino troops at Bataan. 

1946 Lt. General Masaharu Homma, the Japanese commander
responsible for the Bataan Death March, was executed in the
Philippines. 

1948 U.S. President Harry Truman signed the Marshall Plan to
revive war-torn Europe. It was $5 billion in aid for 16
countries. 

1967 The U.S. State Department said that Hanoi might be
brainwashing American prisoners and started experimenting
doing the same. 

1968 Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "mountaintop"
speech just 24 hours before he was assassinated. 

1968 North Vietnam agreed to meet with U.S. representatives
to set up preliminary peace talks. 

1972 Charlie Chaplin returned to the U.S. after a twenty-
year absence. 

1979 Jane Byrne became the first female mayor in Chicago. 

1983 It was reported that Vietnamese occupation forces had
overrun a key insurgent base in western Cambodia. 

1984 Col. Lansana Konte became the new president of Guinea
when the armed forces seized power after the death of Sekou
Toure.

1985 The U.S. charged that Israel violated the Geneva
Convention by deporting Shiite prisoners. 

1986 The U.S. national debt hit $2 trillion. 

1987 Riots disrupted mass during the Pope's visit to
Santiago, Chili. 

1996 An Air Force jetliner carrying Commerce Secretary Ron
Brown crashed in Croatia, killing all 35 people aboard. 

1996 Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski was arrested. He
pled guilty in January 1998 to five Unabomber attacks in
exchange for a life sentence without chance for parole. 

2010 The first Apple iPad was released. 

2017  smiled.


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Investment advice via email 
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Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 2

Thank you, Judy!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Colorado woman locked young children in 
bedroom at home while she was away in 
North Carolina
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 2 in
1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish ships were
destroyed by the British fleet at the Battle of Copenhagen. 
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him. --- Paul Eldridge In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you. --- Frank Wilczek (1951 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A big, burly man visited his pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. "Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father of the family is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400." "How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?" The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm Jacob Schwartz, the landlord," he sobbed. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Nothing gets past these guys. A Harvard School of Public Health survey found that people report more noise and other disruptions in binge-drinking college neighborhoods than in other neighborhoods. And a $4 million study by University of Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions revealed that employees are much more likely to call in sick if they have drunk alcohol the night before. $4 million! No kidding? I could have told them that for free. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kanesha Godin, 25, Fountain, Colorado Colorado woman locked young children in bedroom at home while she was away in North Carolina A woman faces two counts of felony child abuse after she allegedly left her two young children locked in a bedroom while away on a trip. It’s unclear exactly how long Kanesha Godin, 25, was away from the two children, but police say they were malnourished when they were discovered. The Fountain Police Department says it was called to the home in the 100 block of Wellington Street on March 8 after a friend of Godin’s discovered the children weren’t being cared for. Police say Godin claimed that she had arranged for a friend to check on the children while she was gone, to feed them and to change their diapers. She claimed that she had told the friend that a neighbor would be caring for the children day and night as well, according to the police department. But the friend eventually discovered that there was no neighbor checking on the children and called police. The bedroom in which the children were locked up had no working light and the temperature on the thermostat was turned up to 90. There was feces and urine all over the place as well as soiled diapers. Officers obtained an arrest warrant for Godin on Tuesday, and she turned herself in. According to El Paso County jail records, her bond was set at $25,000 but she also has two active duty Fort Carson holds. Godin is a Fort Carson soldier. The North Carolina native has been with the military for more than seven years. According to the arrest affidavit, Godin texted the woman who was feeding the children, "The police officers in fountain r guna ask u questions. They r guna put me in jail. I need u to do me a favor. I know wat I told u as far as the kids but plz say tht u were confused about who was supposed to stay the night. Cus if u dont say tht Im guna be charged with child neglect. And Cynthia actin shady af. They are guna take the kids. Erase these messages." The neighbor named by Godin told police that she had not seen the children since December 2016. She said that Godin did not ask her to babysit the children although she had babysat them in the past and she thought they were with their father. Godin had been estranged from the father of the kids for 16 months. The neighbor showed police a text that Godin sent her on March 9, "I need u to do me a favor. I need u to vouch as my daytime sitter. They r guna take my kids and throw me in jail and I did nothing wrong. I kno it’s weird and a lot but I just want to ask u tht favor." Police did not say how old the children were or how long Godin was gone from her home. When her commanding officer found out about the kids he texted her and ordered her to get back from North Carolina with the next plane and turn herself in to the police immediately. She is due in court March 16. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Rosanna Re: Investment advice via email Dear Webby I received some investment advice in the email that warned that the US dollar ....... Rosanna Dear Rosanna No, of course not. You should not believe a word you read in spam. That's just moron bait. He is just trying to con you into bad investments and trying to get rid of what he is stuck with. Dump it! You get better investment advice from a penny scale. Right now it would be best to just double your money. Fold it in half and stick it back into your wallet, or invest it in your own business. Pay off loans, buy tools, equipment and supplies. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thoughts on Marriage NOVICE: Do clever men make good husbands? SAGE: Clever men don't BECOME husbands! A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this? NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no. DIET DEFINITION: The word 'stressed' makes perfect sense when you realize it is 'desserts' spelled backwards. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Meatless Quiche Recipe Quiche can be an easy meal to make if a visitor turns out to be a vegetarian. By Donna [396 Posts, 403 Comments] Total Time: 1hour 15 minutes Yield: 2 pies Ingredients: 2 pre made pie crusts (the roll out ones in the refrigerated section were great size to make a nice edge and they tasted better than the frozen ones! 1 1/2 cup half and half 8 eggs 1 can of 'cream of' soup (I have used cream of celery, cream of mushroom and cream of brocolli on different occasions) 1/2 cup various cut up veggies (Celery, carrots, onions, red or green pepper, mushrooms, broccoli) 1/4 cup flour 1 cup shredded cheese (cheddar, swiss or your favorite) salt and pepper 1/4 tsp garlic salt (optional) 1/8 tsp tumeric or your favorite spices (optional) Note: I added some mushrooms to one of my pies and not the other and sprinkled paprika on top to differentiate the two. Feel free to add your favorite veggies and spices to your recipe for your guests tastes! Steps: Cut up your choice of veggies and dredge in flour. Add to the bottom of the uncooked pie crusts. Mix together the eggs, half and half and creamed soup. Pour on top of the floured veggies. Cover the edges of your pie crust with aluminum foil so it doesn't burn Bake in a 425 degree oven for 45 minutes. Remove the aluminum foil from the edges and bake 15 minutes longer (or until brown) Let it rest a while and it will condense somewhat. Enjoy!
Lightning hits car in Morocco
____________________________________________________ The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked. The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again." ___________________________________________________
A Panda day care center.
>From Len, many years ago: The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do, ... Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was s tarting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin'." Len, if you read this, send an email!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on April 2
1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon sighted Florida.
The next day he went ashore. 

1792 The U.S. Congress passed the Coinage Act to regulate
the coins of the United States. The act authorized $10
Eagles, $5 Half Eagles, $2.50 Quarter Eagle gold coins,
silver dollars, dollars, quarters, dimes and half-dimes to
be minted. 

1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish ships were
destroyed by the British fleet at the Battle of Copenhagen. 

1860 The first Italian Parliament met in Turin. 

1865 Confederate President Davis and most of his Cabinet
fled the Confederate capital of Richmond, VA. 

1872 G.B. Brayton received a patent for the gas-powered
streetcar. 

1889 Charles Hall patented aluminum. 

1902 The first motion picture theatre opened in Los Angeles
with the name Electric Theatre. 

1905 The Simplon rail tunnel officially opened. The tunnel
went under the Alps and linked Switzerland and Italy. 

1910 Karl Harris perfected the process for the artificial
synthesis of rubber. 

1917 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson presented a declaration
of war against Germany to the U.S. Congress. 

1932 A $50,000 ransom was paid for the infant son of Charles
and Anna Lindbergh. He child was not returned and was found
dead the next month. 

1935 Sir Watson-Watt was granted a patent for RADAR. 

1944 The Soviet Union announced that its troops had crossed
the Prut River and entered Romania. 

1947 The U.N. Security Council voted to appoint the U.S. as
trustee for former Japanese-held Pacific Islands. 

1958 The National Advisory Council on Aeronautics was
renamed NASA. 

1960 France signed an agreement with Madagascar that
proclaimed the country an independent state within the
French community.

1963 Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King began the first non-
violent campaign in Birmingham, AL. 

1966 South Vietnamese troops joined in demonstrations at Hue
and Da Nang for an end to military rule. 

1967 In Peking, hundreds of thousands demonstrated against
Mao foe Liu Shao-chi. 

1972 Burt Reynolds appeared nude in "Cosmopolitan" magazine.


1981 In Lebanon, thirty-seven people were reported killed
during fighting in the cities of Beirut and Zahle. It was
the worst violence since the 1976 cease fire. 

1982 Argentina invaded the British-owned Falkland Islands.
The following June Britain took the islands back. 

1983 The New Jersey Transit strike that began on March 1
came to an end. 

1984 In Jerusalem, three Arab gunmen wounded 48 people when
they opened fire into a crowd of shoppers. 

1986 On a TWA airliner flying from Rome to Athens a bomb
exploded under a seat killing four Americans. 

1987 The speed limit on U.S. interstate highways was
increased to 65 miles per hour in limited areas. 

1989 General Prosper Avril, Haiti's military leader,
survived a coup attempt. The attempt was apparently provoked
by Avril's U.S.-backed efforts to fight drug trafficking. 

1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein threatened to incinerate
half of Israel with chemical weapons if Israel joined a
conspiracy against Iraq. 

1992 Mob boss John Gotti was convicted in New York of murder
and racketeering. He was later sentenced to life in prison. 

1996 Russia and Belarus signed a treaty that created a
political and economic alliance in an effort to reunite the
two former Soviet republics. 

1996 Lech Walesa resumed his old job as an electrician at
the Gdansk shipyard. He was the former Solidarity union
leader who became Poland's first post-war democratic
president. 

2002 Israeli troops surrounded the Church of the Nativity.
More than 200 Palestinians had taken refuge at the church
when Israel invaded Bethlehem. 

2014 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that limits on the total
amount of money individuals can give political candidates
and political action committees were unconstitutional. 

2017  smiled.


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Are more MegaPixels better? 
<B></B>




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, April 1

At noon today the Internet will be shut down for annual
clearing of lost files. Turn your machine off before that to
avoid crashing your computer. Don`t turn it back on until
you get an email telling you it is safe.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Australian law professor pretends to be Justin Bieber 
and cons 200 girls into sex and pornography
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 31 in
1578 William Harvey of England discovered blood circulation.

See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. --- Maureen Murphy Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. --- Franklin P. Jones The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. --- B. F. Skinner ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is a really ancient classic from the days before the Internet: 'Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an 18-year-old daughter. After the wedding, my father came to visit a number of times, and suddenly he fell in love with my step-daughter. My father eventually married her without my authorization. As a result, my step-daughter legally became my step-mother and my father my son-in-law. My father's wife (also my step- daughter) and my step-mother, gave birth to a son who is my grandchild because I am the husband of my step-daughter's wife. This boy is also my brother, as the son of my father. All at once, my wife became a grandmother, because she is the mother of my father's wife. Therefore, it appears that I am also my wife's grandchild. A short time after these events, my wife gave birth to a son, who became my father's brother-in-law, the step-son of my father's wife, and my uncle. My son is also my step-mother's brother, and through my step-mother, my wife has become a grandmother and I have become my own grandfather. In light of the above mentioned, I would like to know the following: Does my son, who is also my uncle, my father's son-in-law, and my step-mother's brother fulfill the requirements for receiving childcare benefits? ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Saba was telling the little ones of how it was when he was a young boy in Brooklyn, in Manhattan's immigrant ghetto. "When I was a kid," he said, "we didn't even have a radio. So our dad bored a hole through the wall into the neighbor's living room to hear all the great boxing fights. That's when we discovered that they didn't have a radio either." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gordon Douglas Chalmers, 42, Australia Australian law professor pretends to be Justin Bieber and cons 200 girls into sex and pornography About 200 girls think 42-year-old Gordon Douglas Chalmers on a fake Bieber page oin FaceBook is Justin Bieber. They skype with him and meet him for sex and they can’t tell the difference. He’s atually a law professor in Brisbane, Australia. Among the victims of the sickening scam are reportedly 50 American, 20 British, and six Australian children who sent nude photos of themselves and, in several cases, managed to meet the perpetrator, who pretended to be the Beeb, for sexual encounters or photo sessions. The impersonator, a 42-year-old law professor named Gordon Douglas Chalmers, Australian media outlets report, has just been charged with 931 child-sex offenses, including rape, assault, and soliciting pedophilic pornography from 157 fans in the name of the pop star. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: Do more pixels indicate a better camera? Dear Webby Do more pixels indicate a better digital camera? Betty Dear Edith Dear Betty No, not at all. A 2 or 3 Megapixel Canon will make MUCH better pictures than for example a 6 Megapixel HP. The biggest difference is made by the quality and size of the lenses, second is how straight the light hits the CCD inside that translates light into electricity, third is how well that analog electricity is converted to a digital picture, fourth is how deep and how large each CCD pixel is, and finally in fifth place is the number of pixels. None of that is explained in the sales hype, and very few salespeople have a clue about that. If they brag about Megapixels, take that as proof that they are totally clueless. If a salesperson tells you that the optics are made in the same factory as for example the optics for Canon professional film type cameras, and how important a large lens is, then you have found somebody who knows the stuff, and who probably is an advanced photographer. Those people will likely try to talk you into the camera that THEY want to buy for themselves. Depending on your budget, scale back from that, but in the same line. Don't hesitate getting last years model in a good line. It will produce nicer pictures than current HP or Kodak, and cost considerably less. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Tina When my husband, Mark, took his beat-up pickup truck to our insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection, the teen-age receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. When she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Mark replied, "It's a '75 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Mark. "Mr. Evans, no matter what I try," she explained, "but the computer can't find a Ford Fossil."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Moss Growing on Bricks This is a guide about removing moss growing on bricks. Moss can make brick paths and driveways very slippery. They need to be cleaned for safety. By Sandi/Poor But Proud [561 Posts, 2,340 Comments] Go to the Dollar Tree or any other places to by cheap laundry detergent. Sprinkle it liberally on the moss and mold, and in three to five days, it will start to turn brown. At that point, you can brush it off with a stiff push broom or a strong spray nozzle. I have done this for years, and it works. Also good for soaking up oil spills in garages, and smells better than cat litter.
Don't mess with the Queen's guard
____________________________________________________ "I understand, Doctor, that many husbands snore," said the young wife, "but you've got to help me stop mine. He's a ventriloquist and snores on both sides of me at the same time!" ___________________________________________________
A Panda day care center.
Lorne McGinty was looking for a gift for a friend of his. Everything he saw in the store was too expensive. Then he came across a glass vase that had been broken, which could be purchased for next to nothing. The tightwad asked the store clerk to send the gift, hoping his friend would think that the vase had been broken during transit. A couple of weeks later, he received an acknowledgment for the gift. "Thanks for the vase," read the card. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on April 1

0527 Justinianus became the emperor of Byzantium. 

1572 The Sea Beggars under Guillaume de la Marck landed in
Holland and captured the small town of Briel. 

1578 William Harvey of England discovered blood circulation.


1621 The Plymouth, MA, colonists created the first treaty
with Native Americans. 

1724 Jonathan Swift published Drapier's letters. 
 
1748 The ruins of Pompeii were found. 

1778 Oliver Pollock, a New Orleans businessman, created the
"$" symbol. 

1793 In Japan, the volcano Unsen erupted killing about
53,000. 

1826 Samuel Mory patented the internal combustion engine. 

1853 Cincinnati became the first U.S. city to pay fire
fighters a regular salary. 

1863 The first wartime conscription law went into effect in
the U.S. 

1864 The first travel accident policy was issued to James
Batterson by the Travelers Insurance Company. 

1865 At the Battle of Five Forks in Petersburg, VA, Gen.
Robert E. Lee began his final offensive. 

1867 Blacks voted in the municipal election in Tuscumbia,
AL. 

1867 The International Exhibition opened in Paris. 

1867 Singapore, Penang & Malakka became British crown
colonies. 

1873 The British White Star steamship Atlantic sank off Nova
Scotia killing 547. 

1881 Anti-Jewish riots took place in Jerusalem. 

1881 Kingdom post office in Netherlands opened. 

1889 The first dishwashing machine was marketed (in
Chicago). 

1891 The London-Paris telephone connection opened. 

1891 The William Wrigley Jr. Company was founded in Chicago,
IL. The company is most known for its Juicy Fruit gum. 

1905 The British East African Protectorate became the colony
of Kenya. 

1905 Paris and Berlin were linked by telephone. 

1918 England's Royal Flying Corps was replaced by the Royal
Air Force. 

1924 Adolf Hitler was sentenced to five years in prison for
high treason in relation to the "Beer Hall Putsch." 

1924 Imperial Airways was formed in Britain. 

1927 The first automatic record changer was introduced by
His Master's Voice. 

1928 China's Chiang Kai-shek began attacking communists. 

1929 Louie Marx introduced the Yo-Yo. 

1930 Leo Hartnett of the Chicago Cubs broke the altitude
record for a catch by catching a baseball dropped from the
Goodyear blimp 800 feet over Los Angeles, CA. 

1931 An Earthquake devastated Managua Nicaragua killing
2,000. 

1931 Jackie Mitchell became the first female in professional
baseball when she signed with the Chattanooga Baseball Club.


1933 Nazi Germany began the persecution of Jews by
boycotting Jewish businesses. 

1935 The first radio tube to be made of metal was announced.


1937 Aden became a British colony. 

1938 The first commercially successful fluorescent lamps
were introduced. 

1939 The U.S. recognized the Franco government in Spain at
end of Spanish civil war. 

1945 U.S. forces invaded Okinawa during World War II. It was
the last campaign of World War II. 

1946 Weight Watchers was formed. 

1946 A tidal wave (tsunami) struck the Hawaiian Islands
killing more than 170 people. 

1948 The Berlin Airlift began. 

1950 Italian Somalia became a United Nations trust territory
under Italian administration. 

1952 The Big Bang theory was proposed in "Physical Review"
by Alpher, Bethe & Gamow. 

1960 France exploded 2 atom bombs in the Sahara Desert. 

1960 The U.S. launched TIROS-1. It was the first weather
satellite. 

1963 Workers of the International Typographical Union ended
their strike that had closed nine New York City newspapers.
The strike ended 114 days after it began on December 8,
1962. 

1970 The U.S. Army charged Captain Ernest Medina in the My
Lai massacre. 

1971 The United Kingdom lifted all restrictions on gold
ownership. 

1972 North Vietnamese and Viet Cong troops renewed their
offensive in South Vietnam. 

1973 Japan allowed its citizens to own gold. 

1976 Apple Computer began operations. 

1979 Iran was proclaimed to be an Islamic Republic by
Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini after the Shah was kicked out. 

1980 A failed assassination attempt against Iraqi vice-
premier Tariq Aziz occurred. 

1982 The U.S. transferred the Canal Zone to Panama. 

1985 World oil prices dropped below $10 a barrel. 

1986 The U.S. submarine Nathaniel Green ran aground in the
Irish Sea. 

1987 Steve Newman became the first man to walk around the
world. The walk was 22,000 miles and took 4 years. 

1987 U.S. President Reagan told doctors in Philadelphia,
"We've declared AIDS public health enemy No. 1." 

1991 Iran released British hostage Roger Cooper after 5
years. 

1991 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that jurors could not be
barred from serving due to their race. 

1991 The Warsaw Pact was officially dissolved. 

1992 Players began the first strike in the 75-year history
of the National Hockey League (NHL). 

1998 A federal judge dismissed the Paula Jones' sexual
harassment lawsuit against U.S. President Clinton saying
that the claims fell "far short" of being worthy of a trial.


1999 In Zhytomyr, Ukraine, Anatoliy Onoprienko was sentenced
to death for the deaths of 52 men, women and children. 43 of
the killings occurred in a 6-month period. 

1999 The Canadian territory of Nunavut was created. It was
carved from the eastern part of the Northwest Territories
and covered about 772,000 square miles. 

2001 China began holding 24 crewmembers of a U.S.
surveillance plane. The EP-3E U.S. Navy crew had made an
emergency landing after an in-flight collision with a
Chinese fighter jet. The Chinese pilot was missing and
presumed dead. The U.S. crew was released on April 11, 2001.

2001 Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic was
arrested on corruption charges after a 26-hour standoff with
the police at his Belgrade villa. 

2003 North Korea test-fired an anti-ship missile off its
west coast. 

2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the Unborn Victims
of Violence Act. The bill made it a crime to harm a fetus
during an assault on a pregnant woman. 

2004 Gateway Inc. announced that it would be closing all of
its 188 stores on April 9. 

2009 Albania and Croatia joined the North Atlantic Treaty
Organization (NATO). 

2010 The U.S. Congress cut Medicare reimbursements to
physicians by 21%. 

2017  smiled.


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Real portrait for resume 
<B></B>




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, March 31
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support 
for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Alabama Arrestee so loose he defecates gun 
into his shorts 
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 31 in
1492 King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain 
issued the Alhambra edict expelling Jews who were 
unwilling to convert to Christianity.
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) "If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect." --- Benjamin Franklin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being--a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol, whom one can treat as one's absolute own, who will be kind and faithful when times are hard, who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Can I help you choose what kind of puppy to buy?" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Today's reading is from the Book of Corporate Life, Chapter 1, verses 1-15: 1. In the beginning was the Plan. 2. And then came the Assumptions. 3. And the Assumptions were without form. 4. And the Plan was without Substance. 5. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. 6. And the Workers spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of crap and it stinks." 7. And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, "It is a crock of dung and we cannot live with the smell." 8. And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying, "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." 9. And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength." 10. And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong." 11. And the directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful." 12. And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, "It has very powerful effects." 13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good. 14. And the Plan became Policy. 15. And that is how crap happens. ______________________________________________________ 2017 Superbloom in Death Valley ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jesse Roberts, 23, Elkmont, Alabama Alabama Arrestee so loose he defecates gun into his shorts An Alabama man being booked into jail for public intoxication had a stolen handgun hidden in a certain body cavity, according to police who noticed that the defendant was walking “strangely” upon arrival at the county jail. Jesse Roberts, 23, was collared early today by cops responding to a 911 call about a prowler near a residence in Elkmont, a town outside Huntsville. Seen above, Roberts was arrested and transported to the Limestone County jail, where corrections officers took notice of his odd gait. As Roberts was being searched, an unloaded Jimenez Arms .380-caliber pistol fell from his rear end into his underwear. “I immediately considered that he defecated on himself before noticing a familiar shape in the form of a pistol in his boxers,” a jailer noted in a report, according to Sheriff Mike Blakely. Upon recovering the unloaded weapon from Roberts’s drawers, cops determined that the $100 handgun had been reported stolen out of Florence, a city 50 miles away. Along with a misdemeanor public intoxication rap, Roberts is facing charges for receiving stolen property, introducing contraband into a correctional facility, and carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. Roberts is locked up in lieu of $7250 bail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Edith Re: Portrait for Resume in California Dear Webby I am pretty good with Selfies that look OK on Facebook, but they are NOT the quality I need for a resume. I am not loking for a freebie with a cheap phone, but a real, professional, high resolution glamor shot. I am willing to spend a bit to get a decent glamor shot for a fancy resume. If I get this job, the cost of that portrait will be paid for in a day. Edith /i> Dear Edith The ideal photographer for you would be Karen Vaisman. I have known Karen since the early 90's, when we used to go on PowWow cruises and argued a lot. Just go to Karen and see the difference a real, professional photographer can make. Karen has various other sites too, but that one is a good introduction. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer. The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew." "Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?" "Yes he did," the man replied. "And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?" "Just once," the man replied. The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?" And the man said, "I was looking for my father."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Socks Together If you are tired of lonely socks, attach pairs of socks with a safety pin before putting them in the washer. Even better, pin them together when you take them off and toss them in the dirty clothes hamper. The best safety pins are diaper safety pins which are less likely to snag and damage other clothing.
Impossible driving test
____________________________________________________ A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee!" ___________________________________________________
I need to go thrift store shopping!
SIXTEEN STEPS TO BUILD A CAMPFIRE Building a campfire is easy… just follow these sixteen steps (in order): Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. Bandage left thumb. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments. Bandage left foot. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand). Light Match. Light Match. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. Apply burn ointment to nose. When fire is burning, collect more wood. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene." Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. Relabel can to read "gasoline." When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 31
1492 King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain issued the
Alhambra edict expelling Jews who were unwilling to convert
to Christianity. 

1779 Russia and Turkey signed a treaty concerning military
action in Crimea. 

1831 Quebec and Montreal were incorporated as cities. 

1854 The U.S. government signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with
Japan. The act opened the ports of Shimoda and Hakotade to
American trade. 

1862 Skirmishing between Rebels and Union forces took place
at Island 10 on the Mississippi River. 

1870 In Perth Amboy, NJ, Thomas Munday Peterson became the
first black to vote in the U.S. 

1880 Wabash, IN, became the first town to be completely
illuminated with electric light. 

1885 Binney & Smith Company was founded in New York City.
The company later became Crayola, LLC. 

1889 In Paris, the Eiffel Tower officially opened. 

1900 The W.E. Roach Company was the first automobile company
to put an advertisement in a national magazine. The magazine
was the "Saturday Evening Post". 

1900 In France, the National Assembly passed a law reducing
the workday for women and children to 11 hours. 

1901 In Russia, the Czar lashed out at Socialist-
Revolutionaries with the arrests of 72 people and the
seizing of two printing presses. 

1902 In Tennessee, 22 coal miners were killed by an
explosion. 

1904 In India, hundreds of Tibetans were slaughtered by the
British. 

1905 Kaiser Wilhelm arrived in Tangier proclaiming to
support an independent state of Morocco. 

1906 The Conference on Moroccan Reforms in Algerciras ended
after two months with France and Germany in agreement. 

1908 250,000 coal miners in Indianapolis, IN, went on strike
to await a wage adjustment. 

1909 Serbia accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-
Herzegovina. 

1917 The U.S. purchased and took possession of the Virgin
Islands from Denmark for $25 million. 

1921 Great Britain declared a state of emergency because of
the thousands of coal miners on strike. 

1923 In New York City, the first U.S. dance marathon was
held. Alma Cummings set a new world record of 27 hours. 

1932 The Ford Motor Co. debuted its V-8 engine. 

1939 Britain and France agreed to support Poland if Germany
threatened invasion. 

1940 La Guardia airport in New York officially opened to the
public. 

1941 Germany began a counter offensive in North Africa. 

1946 Monarchists won the elections in Greece. 

1948 The Soviets in Germany began blocking the Western
trains headed toward Berlin. 

1949 Winston Churchill declared that the A-bomb was the only
thing that kept the U.S.S.R. from taking over Europe. 

1949 Newfoundland entered the Canadian confederation as its
10th province. 

1958 The U.S. Navy formed the atomic submarine division. 

1960 The South African government declared a state of
emergency after demonstrations led to the death of more than
50 Africans. 

1966 An estimated 200,000 anti-war demonstrators march in
New York City. They eventually defeated the US military at
home.

1966 The Soviet Union launched Luna 10, which became the
first spacecraft to enter a lunar orbit. 

1970 The U.S. forces in Vietnam down a MIG-21, it was the
first since September 1968. 

1976 The New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that Karen Anne
Quinlan could be disconnected from a respirator. Quinlan
remained comatose until 1985 when she died. 

1980 U.S. President Carter deregulated the banking industry.


1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, four of five Indonesian
terrorists were killed after hijacking an airplane on March
28. 

1986 167 people died when a Mexicana Airlines Boeing 727
crashed in Los Angeles. 

1989 Canada and France signed a fishing rights pact. 

1991 Albania offered a multi-party election for the first
time in 50 years. Incumbent President Ramiz Alia won. 

1991 Iraqi forces recaptured the northern city of Kirkuk
from Kurdish guerillas. 

1994 "Nature" magazine announced that a complete skull of
Australopithecus afarensis had been found in Ethiopia. The
finding is of humankind's earliest ancestor. 

1998 U.N. Security Council imposed arms embargo on
Yugoslavia. 

2000 In Uganda, officials set the number of deaths linked to
a doomsday religious cult, the Movement for the Restoration
of the Ten Commandments, at more than 900. In Kanungu, a
March 17 fire at the cult's church killed more than 530 and
authorities subsequently found mass graves at various sites
linked to the cult. 

2004 Google Inc. announced that it would be introducing a
free e-mail service called Gmail. 

2016 Apple released the iPhone SE. 

2017  smiled.


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How often should Windows 7 be rebooted? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 30
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Man drives drunk in the wrong direction of the road, 
urinates on himself twice
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 30 in
1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched
into Paris. They did not like his ideas of democracy, and
really hated the decimal metric system.

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence. --- Henrik Tikkanen "He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another." --- Seneca the Younger ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A ten-year-old girl asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, the girl approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila." "T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian. The girl thanked her and went back to her search. A short time later she came to the desk, looking quite distraught. "I just can't find it." she said. "What book are you looking for, honey?" the librarian asked. And the little girl said, "Tequila Mockingbird." ______________________________________________________ Old WhitePass wall calendar. They have a different picture every year. 2013 is one of my favorites. I used to collect them since the 70`s but left all the ones prior to 2000 in the Yukon when I moved to Alberta. You can order them. Keep in mind, they are BIG, poster size wall calendars! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robbie Charles Watson, 55, Alachua, Florida Man drives drunk in the wrong direction of the road, urinates on himself twice After being pulled over for driving drunkenly on the wrong side of a highway, a Newberry man urinated his pants in front of a police car, Alachua Police said. Robbie Charles Watson, 55, was driving north in the southbound lanes of State Road 25 in Alachua when a police car tried to pull him over at about 12:14 a.m., according to an arrest report. He pulled over in the median before driving off to a Sunco parking lot, at 11921 NW U.S. Highway 441. An officer noticed Watson had bloodshot eyes and slurred speech, according to the report. Watson had also urinated in his pants. When officers asked Watson for documents, he couldn’t follow directions and gave police the wrong documents multiple times, police said. He was unsteady and leaned against his car for support, a responding officer noted. Watson was unable to complete field sobriety exercises, according to the report. After officers placed him in front of a police car, he urinated in his pants again, according to the report. Watson refused to submit to a breathalyzer test, and a jail nurse told police he had to be taken to a hospital, police said. At about 5:50 a.m., Watson was cleared by the hospital and brought back to the Alachua County Jail, according to the report. When police asked him to sign a criminal citation, Watson refused even after officers told him refusal would be a misdemeanor. Police arrested him on charges of driving under the influence and refusing to sign a criminal citation. Watson was released from jail on his own recognizance Tuesday morning. He could not be reached for comment. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Reboot how often ? Dear Webby How often should a computer with Windows 7 be rebooted? Chris /i> Dear Chris That depends entirely on what you have on it. If the machine is near stock, with Malwarebytes on it, and just used for business, with spreadsheets, word processors, databases and normal Internet access for bill paying and shopping, then once a week is plenty. If the machine has Norton on it, and a dozen tweaks and utilities and toolbars and similar stuff, then once an hour is good, unless it crashes before then. Have FUN! DearWebby
Jane went to the bank and applied for a loan. "I want a loan, I'm going to divorce my husband." "Oh, we don't give loans for divorces" the manager says "We make loans for appliances, automobiles, businesses, home improvements...." Jane interrupts and says "Well, this is certainly a 'Home Improvement.'
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pressure Cooker Pea Soup By Judy Pariser S. [269 Posts, 1,925 Comments] Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 45 minutes Total Time: 55 minutes Yield: 9 cups Source: Budget Bytes Soup in 45 minutes with no standing over the stove watching! Ingredients: 1 yellow onion, diced 3 carrots, cut in thin rounds 3 ribs celery, cut in small pieces 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 lb split peas 2 Tbsp oil 1 bay leaf 1/2 Tbsp paprika 1/4 tsp thyme salt and pepper to taste 6 cups water or broth Steps: Rinse the peas in a colander. Put all ingredients in the pressure cooker. Add one bay leaf on the top. Set the cooker for 15 minutes of cooking. Let the cooker release on its own. This will take about 15 minutes. Stir the soup and taste. Adjust seasonings if necessary. You may blend, if you wish. Serve and enjoy. I usually toss a ham bone or a diced ham end piece into pea spup for traditional Canadian pea soup flavor. You can concentrate Canadian pea soup at VERY low heat until it is very thick, then ladle it into ziplock baggies sitting in cups.When they are cold, put them into the freezer. The reason for the cups is uniform sizes and not interlocking in the freezer. When frozen, you can tip the hockey pucks out of the cups. To use, just toss a puck into boiling water, and you will have pea soup in a few minutes. Just add bread, and you have a good meal. Have FUN! DearWebby
twins argue over who gets the car
____________________________________________________ >From Fred The other night, my friend and I were going out. She sat there and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, foundation, mascara, toner, blush, trim, siding, shingles, lighting and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?" ___________________________________________________
Clever ads that will make you look twice.
The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student and asked, "Why have you chosen this career?" The young man said, "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father." "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean. "No," replied the applicant, "but he always dreamed of it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 30
1533 Henry VIII divorced his first wife, Catherine of
Aragon. 

1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched
into Paris. They did not like his ideas of democracy, and
really hated the decimal metric system.

1822 Florida became a U.S. territory. 

1842 Dr. Crawford W. Long performed the first operation
while his patient was anesthetized by ether. 

1855 About 5,000 "Border Ruffians" from western Missouri
invaded the territory of Kansas and forced the election of a
pro-slavery legislature. It was the first election in
Kansas. 

1858 Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil. 

1867 The U.S. purchased Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million
dollars. 

1870 The 15th amendment, guaranteeing the right to vote
regardless of race, was passed by the U.S. Congress. 

1870 Texas was readmitted to the Union. 

1903 Revolutionary activity in the Dominican Republic
brought U.S. troops to Santo Domingo to protect American
interests. 

1905 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt was chosen to mediate
in the Russo-Japanese peace talks. 

1909 The Queensboro bridge in New York opened linking
Manhattan and Queens. It was the first double decker bridge.


1909 In Oklahoma, Seminole Indians revolted against meager
pay for government jobs. 

1916 Pancho Villa killed 172 at the Guerrero garrison in
Mexico. 

1936 Britain announced a naval construction program of 38
warships. 

1940 The Japanese set up a puppet government called Manchuko
in Nanking, China. 

1941 The German Afrika Korps under General Erwin Rommel
began its first offensive against British forces in Libya. 

1944 The U.S. fleet attacked Palau, near the Philippines. 

1945 The U.S.S.R. invaded Austria after World War II. 

1946 The Allies seized 1,000 Nazis attempting to revive the
Nazi party in Frankfurt. 

1950 The invention of the phototransistor was announced. 

1950 U.S. President Truman denounced Senator Joe McCarthy as
a saboteur of U.S. foreign policy. 

1957 Tunisia and Morocco signed a friendship treaty in
Rabat. 

1972 The British government assumed direct rule over
Northern Ireland. The irish did not like that one bit.

1972 The Eastertide Offensive began when North Vietnamese
troops crossed into the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) in the
northern portion of South Vietnam. 

1975 As the North Vietnamese forces moved toward Saigon
South Vietnamese soldiers mob rescue jets in desperation. 

1981 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded in
Washington, DC, by John W. Hinckley Jr. Two police officers
and Press Secretary James Brady were also wounded. 

1982 The space shuttle Columbia completed its third and its
longest test flight after 8 days in space. 

1984 The U.S. ended its participation in the multinational
peace force in Lebanon. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" was bought for $39.85
million. 

1993 In Sarajevo, two Serb militiamen were sentenced to
death for war crimes committed in Bosnia. 

1994 Serbs and Croats signed a cease-fire to end their war
in Croatia while Bosnian Muslims and Serbs continued to
fight each other. 

1998 Rolls-Royce was purchased by BMW in a $570 million
deal. 

2002 Suspected Islamic militants set off several grenades at
a temple in Indian-controlled Kashmir. Four civilians, four
policemen and two attackers were killed and 20 people were
injured. 

2009 The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey confirmed
that the new World Trade Center building would be officially
known by its legal name of "One World Trade Center." 

2017  smiled.


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How to deal with hard to read font colors 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 29
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Texas pastor caught with child porno
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 28 in
1867 The British Parliament passed the North America 
Act to create the Dominion of Canada.

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence. --- Henrik Tikkanen Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge's chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view. --- Lillian Hellman (1905 - 1984) A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. --- Robert Frost ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of that carpet!" MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC "Because I said so, that's why!" MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER "It looks like a tornado went through your room!" MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" And most of all..... MOM TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Rankin, 78, Hurst, Texas Texas pastor caught with child porno A Texas pastor is claiming that child pornography images allegedly found on his computer were “to remind himself of what other people like to look at,” according to an affidavit for a search warrant. Local police disagree. “That explanation did not really pan out for us,” police Sgt. Lonnie Brazzel told The Huffington Post. Authorities on Friday seized computers, digital storage devices and cameras belonging to 78-year-old James Rankin, of Hurst, Texas. Rankin was arrested after employees at a Best Buy alerted police to suspected child pornography allegedly found Thursday on an Apple iMac that Hurst brought in for repair. When investigators examined the computer, they allegedly found about 50 images of nude children, some of which they described as having a “‘home-made’ quality.” Rankin told police he’d discovered the images seven or eight years ago “and saved these images because he had researched a possible lesson involving Cupid, love, and human trafficking,” according to the search affidavit. However, authorities say some of the images have dates as recent as February associated with them. “This is now a matter of whether this a downloaded collection or photos he’s taken,” Brazzel said. A forensic analysis of the images is pending. At the time of his arrest, Rankin told police he was an associate pastor at Bellevue Baptist Church in Hurst. A now- defunct page on the church’s website states that Rankin is a married father of two who served in churches in Tennessee, Fort Worth and Amarillo. He also served as a chaplain in the U.S. Army. The church did not respond to a request for comment. Rankin also allegedly said the photos served as a reminder of “how bad human trafficking is.” However, it appears his concern didn’t motivate him to take any further action. Court documents do not indicate that Rankin ever notified authorities or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children of the existence of the alleged child porn images, or the website from which he allegedly downloaded them. Rankin, who faces a charge of possession of child pornography, is jailed in lieu of $5,000 bond. The forensic analysis of the alleged evidence is expected to take five to six weeks, Brazzel said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Olaf Re: Hard to read font colors Dear Webby Some people use very difficult to read font colors, like for example silver on white, or dark blue on black. Is there a way to make that easier to read ? Thanks Olaf /i> Dear Olaf Why ? Have you ever found anything worth reading on a site whose writer was afflicted with that type of insanity ? I haven't, and I don't waste my time on that kind of site. There are plenty of sites with good content presented in easy to read color combinations. However, if you think you HAVE to read a site like that, hit CTRL A to select and highlight All. Have FUN! DearWebby
"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Italian Lentil and Swiss Chard Soup Recipe By Jess [166 Posts, 971 Comments] Total Time: approximately 2 hours Yield: 8 Source: I adapted my friend Lisa's basic recipe for lentils. Ingredients: 1 Tbsp olive oil 2 cups lentils 1 onion, chopped 3 cloves garlic, minced 2 stalks celery, finely chopped 1 cup mushrooms, chopped 2 carrots, chopped 1 cup spaghetti sauce or 1 can diced tomatoes 1 qt vegetable broth salt, pepper and Italian seasoning to taste 1 bunch Swiss chard, chopped This recipe used what I had on hand. You could substitute or leave out pretty much any of these ingredients to suit your family's taste. I often make a similar soup with noodles instead of lentils and call it Spaghetti Soup. Steps: Heat olive oil in a heavy bottomed pot, over medium heat. Add onions, then garlic. Cook until slightly softened. Add lentils and sauté for a couple of minutes. Add celery and stir, then add mushrooms after a minute or two, then carrots. Allow to cook off the excess moisture for a few minutes. Add in spaghetti sauce, vegetable broth and seasonings. Increase heat to bring soup to just a boil, then turn to low and simmer until lentils are cooked. I cooked my soup for about two hours on low but I'm sure it would have been ready sooner. Add more water to give the soup the right consistency. Just before serving, check seasonings and make adjustments as necessary. Add Swiss chard and cook for about 5 more minutes before serving. Cheese would have been a wonderful garnish to this soup. I served it with a green salad but it would have been nice to have bread too.
" target="_blank" >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ik9AtJQXaHQ#t=11"> My Country Tis of Thee/God Save the Queen
____________________________________________________ While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was actually an earphone from a transistor radio. The wire had been cut and was sticking out of his shirt. "How does that help your hearing?" I asked. "Don't help my hearing none," he replied. "Makes people talk louder." ___________________________________________________
Best of the month-People Are Awesome!
>From Bill While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said,"go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 29
1461 Edward IV secured his claim to the English thrown by
defeating Henry VI’s Lancastrians at the battle of Towdon. 

1638 First permanent European settlement in Delaware was
established. 

1847 U.S. troops under General Winfield Scott took
possession of the Mexican stronghold at Vera Cruz. 

1848 Niagara Falls stopped flowing for one day due to an ice
jam. 

1867 The British Parliament passed the North America Act to
create the Dominion of Canada. 

1901 The first federal elections were held in Australia. 

1903 A regular news service began between New York and
London on Marconi's wireless. 

1906 In the U.S., 500,000 coal miners walked off the job
seeking higher wages. 

1913 The Reichstag announced a raise in taxes in order to
finance the new military budget. 

1916 The Italians call off the fifth attack on Isonzo. 

1936 Italy firebombed the Ethiopian city of Harar. 

1941 The British sank five Italian warships off the
Peloponnesus coast in the Mediterranean. 

1943 In the U.S. rationing of meat, butter and cheese began
during World War II. 

1946 Gold Coast became the first British colony to hold an
African parliamentary majority. 

1951 The Chinese reject MacArthur's offer for a truce in
Korea. 

1951 In the United States, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were
convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage. They were
executed in June 19, 1953. 

1962 Cuba opened the trial of the Bay of Pigs invaders. 

1966 Leonid Brezhnev became the First Secretary of the
Soviet Communist Party. He denounced the American policy in
Vietnam and called it one of aggression. 

1967 France launched its first nuclear submarine. 

1971 Lt. William Calley Jr., of the U.S. Army, was found
guilty of the premeditated murder of at least 22 Vietnamese
civilians. He was sentenced to life imprisonment. The trial
was the result of the My Lai massacre in Vietnam on March
16, 1968. 

1971 A jury in Los Angeles recommended the death penalty for
Charles Manson and three female followers for the 1969 Tate-
La Bianca murders. The death sentences were later commuted
to live in prison. 

1973 The last U.S. troops left South Vietnam. 

1974 Mariner 10, the U.S. space probe became the first
spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. It had been launched
on November 3, 1973. 

1974 Eight Ohio National Guardsmen were indicted on charges
stemming from the shooting deaths of four students at Kent
State University on May 4, 1970. All the guardsmen were
later acquitted. 

1975 Egyptian president Anwar Sadat declared that he would
reopen the Suez Canal on June 5, 1975. 

1979 The Committee on Assassinations Report issued by U.S.
House of Representatives stated the assassination of
President John F. Kennedy was the result of a conspiracy. 

1983 Erno Rubik was granted a patent for his Magic Cube.
(U.S. Patent 4,378,116) 

1986 A court in Rome acquitted six men in a plot to kill the
Pope. 

1987 Hulk Hogan took 11 minutes, 43 seconds to pin Andre the
Giant in front of 93,136 Wrestlemania III fans at the
Silverdome in Pontiac, MI. 

1992 Democratic presidential front-runner Bill Clinton said
"I didn't inhale and I didn't try it again" in reference to
when he had experimented with marijuana. Nobody believed
him.

1993 The South Korean government agreed to pay financial
support to women who had been forced to have sex with
Japanese troops during World War II. 

1995 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a
constitutional amendment that would have limited terms to 12
years in the U.S. House and Senate. 

1999 At least 87 people died in an earthquake in India's
Himalayan foothills. 

2004 Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia
and Slovenia became members of NATO. 

2010 In Japan, the Tokyo Skytree tower became the tallest
structure in Japan when it reached 1,109 feet. 

2017  smiled.


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Power bar UPS 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Daniel, changing from one .att address to another .att
address is not going to help you. 
That is still at Yahoo.
I know you are proud to be called a yahoo, but I have told
you many times, that if you want reliable mail, you will
have to get a respectable address. 

Some people can fix the Yahoo spam control, but you
obviously have not been able to. Get a free Gmail account
and reliable mail instantly. On Gmail making filters is as
easy as falling into bed. Try it!


Todays Bonehead Award:
Pilot Busted trying to haul 230 Pounds of Pot
from Oregon to Texas
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 28 in
1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine. 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. --- Cullen Hightower ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This preacher was looking for a good used lawn mower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though." The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start. Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough." "Well," Johnny said, "you need to cuss at it sometimes." The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ THE COMPUTER SWALLOWED GRANDMA The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly its true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online'. So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! If you print that with a fancy font on some art paper, maybe on top of a nice picture, I think it would make a great Mothers Day present for grandma! ______________________________________________________ "Your girlfriend phoned to say she is pregnant. Your truck is over at her place in her garage now. My foot slipped when she phoned me while I was driving." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wayne Douglas Brunet, in jail in Texas now. Pilot Busted trying to haul 230 Pounds of Pot from Oregon to Texas A pilot, who landed his plane in Llano Monday, was arrested for allegedly attempting to distribute more than 200 pounds of hydroponic marijuana. According to the United States Department of Justice, Wayne Douglas Brunet, 64, was taken into custody by the Department of Public Safety. Homeland Security Investigators were tipped off to suspicious activity by Brunet Sunday night as he attempted to land his aircraft at an unmanned airport in Bulverde, Texas. Soon after, authorities began tracking Brunet's plane. According to an arrest affidavit, they noticed in his flight from Medford, Oregon to Texas he had only stopped once to refuel in Arizona. When Brunet landed for the second time at the unmanned Bulverde airport, he didn't stay for long. The affidavit states that he departed again after noticing authorities waiting for him on the ground. Officials said Brunet flew to the Llano Municipal airport where he landed at midnight. Brunet then attempted to flee the area but was quickly caught by DPS. Authorities said they recovered 15 duffle bags filled with vacuum-sealed packages of marijuana along with an estimated amount of $6,000 in cash. If convicted, Brunet faces between five and 40 years in federal prison. Officials said he is scheduled to appear at a detention hearing in Austin Thursday at 2:15 p.m. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Power bar style UPS Dear Webby How good are those power bar style UPS (Uninterruptible Power Supplies) ? Thanks Ron /i> Dear Ron They are mostly just hype and nearly useless. They usually last long enough to hit CTRL S and save what you have been working on on ONE program. During the first year you may even be able to do a controlled shut-down, but don't count on it. To keep working you need a heavy floor model UPS, but if all you need to do is save your work in progress, those power bar UPS'es might help until you can get a real one. With Laptops, of course, you don't have to worry about power failures. Even an ancient laptop battery will allow you a controlled shut down. Have FUN! DearWebby
I just came across this 2005 Bonehead award: BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gregory Alston, 20 of Baltimore, Maryland Carjacker Reports 'His' Car Stolen BALTIMORE - A suspect takes a car at gunpoint and drives it around for two weeks before the owner spots the car and has it towed. The thief then calls police to report "his" car stolen. Those events seemed so improbable that Baltimore police detective Gregory Jenkins felt compelled to end his report of the incident with the admonition, "Again, this really happened." "Another detective told me, 'Greg, you had to make this up,'" the detective told The (Baltimore) Sun. Police charged Gregory Alston, 20, Tuesday with armed robbery, possession of a stolen car and a handgun violation. Police say the carjacking occurred about 10:30 p.m. on April 20 when two women reported that a man armed with a silver handgun and wearing a black bandanna approached them while they were parked on a street in northeast Baltimore. The women said the gunman ordered them out of their car and sped off. Tuesday, one of the women spotted the stolen car in front of an apartment building about a half-mile from where it had been taken. She called police who towed it to the department's Northeast District station. Two hours later, a man called police and reported the car stolen. Officers brought the man back to the station for questioning. At first, police said, he insisted he had bought the car for $1,700 on March 11. Eventually, he confessed to the robbery. Why did he report it stolen? The suspect told police he had left his wallet in the car.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chicken Tortilla Soup Recipes Ingredients: 1 1/2 tsp ground cumin 1 1/4 tsp chili powder 1/2 tsp garlic powder 1/2 tsp salt, plus more to taste 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts 2 Tbsp olive oil 1 cup diced onion 1/4 cup diced green bell pepper 1/4 cup diced red bell pepper 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 10 oz. can diced tomatoes and green chilis (Rotel) 4 cups chicken broth 4 cups hot water 3 Tbsp tomato paste 1 15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed 3 Tbsp corn meal 5 small corn tortillas Garnishes diced avocado diced red onion sour cream chopped fresh cilantro cheese Steps: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Combine cumin, 1 tsp. chili power, garlic powder, and salt in a small bowl. Drizzle chicken with 1 Tbsp olive oil. Sprinkle with 1 tsp. of the spice mixture. Set the rest of the spice mixture aside. Bake until chicken is cooked through, about 15-20 minutes. Remove from oven, cut into cubes, and set aside. Heat remaining 1 Tbsp. olive oil in a large pot over medium- high heat. Add onions, green and red peppers, and garlic. Add a tablespoon of the spice mixture and 1/4 tsp. chili powder. Saute' vegetables, stirring, until they begin to turn golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add chicken, diced tomatoes and juice, chicken broth, hot water, and tomato paste. Stir to combine and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to low and add black beans. Mix cornmeal with 1/2 cup of the soup broth. Add the mixture to the pot and simmer the soup for 10-15 minutes. Add salt and seasonings to taste. Cut the tortillas into 2-3 inch strips. Place several tortlilla strips in the bottom of your serving bowls and top with soup. Top with desired extra toppings and extra tortilla strips. Enjoy!
Feel the adrenaline as you look at these pics
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Lisa for this list of new drugs for women: NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. ST. M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for ol der women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .. Can we get naked now?. BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him for four hours. ___________________________________________________
Lets take a trip or two or three......
Thanks to Linda for this one: My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?" "That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?" A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh..what should I feed Lily for lunch?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 28
1774 Britain passed the Coercive Act against Massachusetts. 

1797 Nathaniel Briggs patented a washing machine. 

1854 The Crimean War began with Britain and France declaring
war on Russia. 

1864 A group of Copperheads attack Federal soldiers in
Charleston, IL. Five were killed and twenty were wounded. 

1865 Outdoor advertising legislation was enacted in New
York. The law banned "painting on stones, rocks and trees." 

1898 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a child born in the
U.S. to Chinese immigrants was a U.S. citizen. This meant
that they could not be deported under the Chinese Exclusion
Act. 

1905 The U.S. took full control over Dominican revenues. 

1908 Automobile owners lobbied the U.S. Congress, supporting
a bill that called for vehicle licensing and federal
registration. 

1910 The first seaplane took off from water at Martinques,
France. The pilot was Henri Fabre. 

1917 During World War I the Women’s Army Auxiliary Corps
(WAAC) was founded. 

1930 Constantinople and Angora changed their names to
Istanbul and Ankara respectively. 

1933 In Germany, the Nazis ordered a ban on all Jews in
businesses, professions and schools. 

1938 In Italy, psychiatrists demonstrated the use of
electric-shock therapy for treatment of certain mental
illnesses. 

1939 The Spanish Civil War ended as with the help of Germany
the Communists lost and Madrid fell to Francisco Franco. 

1941 The Italian fleet was defeated by the British at the
Battle of Matapan. 

1942 British naval forces raided the Nazi occupied French
port of St. Nazaire. 

1945 Germany launched the last of the V-2 rockets against
England. The next one was a captured one fired into space in
the US.

1947 The American Helicopter Society revealed a flying
device that could be strapped to a person's body. 

1968 The U.S. lost its first F-111 aircraft in Vietnam when
it vanished while on a combat mission. North Vietnam claimed
that they had shot it down. 

1979 A major accident occurred at Pennsylvania's Three Mile
Island nuclear power plant. A nuclear power reactor
overheated and suffered a partial meltdown. 

1981 In Bangkok, Thailand, Indonesian terrorists hijacked an
airplane. Four of the five terrorists were killed on March
31. 

1986 The U.S. Senate passed a $100 million aid package for
the Nicaraguan contras. 

1986 More than 6,000 radio stations of all format varieties
played "We are the World" simultaneously at 10:15 a.m. EST. 

1991 The U.S. embassy in Moscow was severely damaged by
fire. 

1994 Violence between Zulus and African National Congress
supporters took the lives of 18 in Johannesburg. 

2010 China's Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. signed a deal
to buy Ford Motor Co.'s Volvo car unit.

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida doctor and probationer charged with 
prescription fraud, again.

Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 27 in
1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including
their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders
from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30
Texans escaped execution. 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. --- From "Taxi" ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Form Noella Repairing the downspout" ... the wife said to me.... "Honey, go fix that gutter downspout! We've had that on our to do list for ages, and I want it done before the end of the day!" Well, as you all know, at our age, my friend, and most of our friends, are retired and we do have the time to address such "Honey do's"…. So, I invited some neighborhood buddies over to help with the project. One is a sheet metal fabricator. One brought his welder. One brought beer and Nachos. One brought a grill and burgers. Took us about 6 hours, and 30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we were finishing off the last of the beer and burgers. As usual, the wife is still not happy !! Can't understand, cause all us guys love it! Personally, I cannot wait for it to rain. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Marge: Dear Webby, can you please print that joke about the mathematical and the logical nuns again? Thanks Marge Sure, Marge! Here it is. There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we possibly do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. The man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL:The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical,Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down........ (And those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's.....) ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dr. Christina Whitaker, 42, Gretchen Alldredge, 41, Coldwater, Florida Florida doctor and probationer charged with prescription fraud, again. Coldwater doctor Christina Whitaker, 42, was charged with eight felony drug charges on a warrant sought after a Coldwater Police investigation. Branch County District Court Judge Brent Weigle told her Friday morning in a video arraignment her bond would be $200,000 because of future charges. "There will be a significant number of similar complaints," said Coldwater Police Officer Jessica Elsaidi. Arrested with Whitaker was Gretchen Alldredge, 41, also charged in the scheme to obtain Adderall for Whitaker, who is addicted to the drug, according to the complaint. Elsaidi began her investigation following the arrest of Whitaker, after she obtained three pills of Vyvanse from an undercover informant in Hillsdale County. She was stopped in Branch County, and the drugs were located. Elsaidi went to the Michigan Automated Prescription System to find prescriptions for Adderall that Whitaker had written to other patients. The officer then went to Alldredge, who is on felony probation for possession of meth. The police report indicated that Alldredge admitted that she got the prescriptions for Whitaker. Whitaker paid her for them and gave Alldredge prescriptions for the painkiller Tramadol, Alldredge's drug of choice, in return. The drugs were obtained four times between August and October of 2016. Alldredge is charged with four counts of delivery of the Adderall. Whitaker is charged with conspiracy to obtain the drug. The charges are seven-year felonies. Both are charged with four counts of obtaining prescriptions by fraud, four year felonies. Alldredge is being held under a $100,000 bond. Preliminary proceedings are set for both April 4 and April 11. In 2007, Dr. Whitaker pleaded guilty to obtaining Adderall by fraud. Then in court, she said she had been told to use Adderall in medical school to help with her patient rapport. She said she turned to it again in a residency program and after she came to Coldwater. Adderall is a synthetic amphetamine. In January 2015, Aldredge was charged with possession of meth, after items were found with residue on them in her South Centennial Road home when her name appeared on pseudoephedrine purchase logs and police went to her home to talk with her. In April 2015, Alldredge was sentenced to 10 months jail and two years probation. A violation of probation is pending in Branch County Circuit Court. Both knew what to expect when caught. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Not getting subscription at AOL Dear Webby I have not received your Humor site in over two months. Has something happened that I have missed? I take trips a lot and don't catch up previous entries. I do hope that you are okay and all is well with you. My prayers are with you ever day. One of your loving fans.always. God Bless you. Sharon /i> Dear Sharon Ask AOL support why you can't see it. Your subscription is getting sent out to you every night like it has been every night since 1994. Once it has entered the AOL server, there is nothing more, that I can do about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
A little old lady is sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sweet Bacon Chicken By Sandi/Poor But Proud [572 Posts, 2,379 Comments] I have had this recipe in my book for over two years now and finally made it the night before Thanksgiving. It has three ingredients (not including a few spices) and is so good! Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 25-30 minutes Total Time: 40-45 minutes Yield: About 6 strips if you use a large breast. Source: http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/main- course/chicken/sweet-spicy-bacon-chicken.html Link: www.justapinch.com I have had this recipe in my book for over two years now and finally made it the night before Thanksgiving. It has three ingredients (not including a few spices) and is so good! Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 25-30 minutes Total Time: 40-45 minutes Yield: About 6 strips if you use a large breast. Source: http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/main- course/chicken/sweet-spicy-bacon-chicken.html Link: www.justapinch.com Sweet Bacon Chicken ingredients Ingredients: 2-3 chicken breasts (boneless and skinless) cut into larger strips 4-6 slices bacon, cut into halves lengthwise 1/2 cup brown sugar 2 Tbsp chili powder 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder Steps: When the chicken is cut up, sprinkle with garlic and onion. Wrap the cut bacon around the chicken so it is even. Roll the breasts in the brown sugar/chili powder mix and bake for 30-35 minutes at 350 degrees F. Serve with a side and perhaps a salad. Enjoy!
Jason Brown - Riverdance on Ice (starts at :25)
____________________________________________________ US State mottos: Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Not Everything *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S" *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Many Tax Brackets) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Very Little Else *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Nevada: Hookers and Poker! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Tennessee: The Edacashun State *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Vermont: Yep *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Wyoming: Where Men Are Many ... and the sheep are scared! ___________________________________________________
Lets take a trip or two or three......
A construction boss in Boston was interviewing men when along came a guy named Vinny from New York. I'm not hiring any wise-ass New Yorker, the foreman thought, so he made up a test hoping that Vinny wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into a dispute. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Widout numbiz?" Vinny says. "Dat's easy," and he proceeds to draw 3 trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. The New Yorker replies, "Ain't you got no brains? Tree 'n Tree 'n Tree makes nine. Faghedaboutit......" "Fair enough," says the Boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time use the number 99." Vinny stares into space for a minute, then picks up the picture he has drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dare ya go, Buddy." The Boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Vinny says "Each a da tree's is dirty now! So it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree' n dirty tree-dat's 99". The Boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the New Yorker, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules but this time use 100." Vinny stares into space again, then picks up the picture once again, makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dare ya go, Mac, a hunnert." The Boss looks at the picture for a moment and says, "You must be nuts if you think that represents 100!" New York Vinny leans forward and points to the marks at the base of the trees. "A little doggie comes along and takes a crap on each a dem trees, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd - which makes one hundred. Bada boom, bada bing.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 27
1794 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of the U.S.
Navy. 

1802 The Treaty of Amiens was signed ending the French
Revolutionary War. 

1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including
their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders
from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30
Texans escaped execution. 

1836 The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH. 

1841 The first steam fire engine was tested in New York
City. Steam pump, horse pulled.

1860 The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn. 

1866 U.S. President Andrew Johnson vetoed the civil rights
bill, which later became the 14th amendment. 

1884 The first long-distance telephone call was made from
Boston to New York. 

1899 The first international radio transmission between
England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor G.
Marconi. 

1900 The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that gave
35 million pounds to the Boer War cause in South Africa. 

1900 The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops for active
duty. 

1901 Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo was captured by
the U.S. 

1904 Mary Jarris "Mother" Jones was ordered by Colorado
state authorities to leave the state. She was accused of
stirring up striking coal miners. 

1907 French troops occupied Oudja, Morocco, as a punitive
action for the murder of French Dr. Muchamp. 

1912 The first cherry blossom trees were planted in
Washington, DC. The trees were a gift from Japan. 

1917 The Seattle Metropolitans, of the Pacific Coast League
of Canada, defeated the Montreal Canadiens and became the
first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 

1931 Actor Charlie Chaplin received France’s Legion of Honor
decoration. 

1933 About 55,000 people staged a protest against Hitler in
New York City. 

1933 In the U.S., the Farm Credit Administration was
authorized. 

1941 Tokeo Yoshikawa arrived in Oahu, HI, and began spying
for Japan on the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor. 

1942 The British raided the Nazi submarine base at St.
Nazaire, France. 

1946 Four-month long strikes at both General Electric and
General Motors ended with a wage increase. 

1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in
Korea, the original dividing line between the two Koreas. 

1958 Nikita Khrushchev became the chairman of the Soviet
Council of Ministers in addition to First Secretary of the
Communist Party. 

1958 The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the
moon. 

1993 In China, Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin was
appointed President. 

1997 Russian workers, nearly 2 million, held a nationwide
strike to protest unpaid wages. 

1997 In Australia, Governor-General William Deane signed a
bill to overturn a 1996 Northern Territory act to legalize
assisted suicides. The 1996 act was the first in the world
to permit assisted suicides. 

1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved the prescription drug
Viagra. It was the first pill for male impotence. 

1998 Top civilian aircraft makers in France, Spain, Germany
and Britain agreed to create a single European aerospace and
defense company. 

2004 NASA successfully launched a remote controlled X-43A
jet that hit Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph). 

2007 NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent
officiating tool.

2017  smiled.


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AOL blocking newsletter 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida doctor and probationer charged with 
prescription fraud, again.

Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 27 in
1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including
their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders
from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30
Texans escaped execution. 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. --- From "Taxi" ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Form Noella Repairing the downspout" ... the wife said to me.... "Honey, go fix that gutter downspout! We've had that on our to do list for ages, and I want it done before the end of the day!" Well, as you all know, at our age, my friend, and most of our friends, are retired and we do have the time to address such "Honey do's"…. So, I invited some neighborhood buddies over to help with the project. One is a sheet metal fabricator. One brought his welder. One brought beer and Nachos. One brought a grill and burgers. Took us about 6 hours, and 30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we were finishing off the last of the beer and burgers. As usual, the wife is still not happy !! Can't understand, cause all us guys love it! Personally, I cannot wait for it to rain. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Marge: Dear Webby, can you please print that joke about the mathematical and the logical nuns again? Thanks Marge Sure, Marge! Here it is. There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we possibly do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. The man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL:The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical,Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down........ (And those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's.....) ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dr. Christina Whitaker, 42, Gretchen Alldredge, 41, Coldwater, Florida Florida doctor and probationer charged with prescription fraud, again. Coldwater doctor Christina Whitaker, 42, was charged with eight felony drug charges on a warrant sought after a Coldwater Police investigation. Branch County District Court Judge Brent Weigle told her Friday morning in a video arraignment her bond would be $200,000 because of future charges. "There will be a significant number of similar complaints," said Coldwater Police Officer Jessica Elsaidi. Arrested with Whitaker was Gretchen Alldredge, 41, also charged in the scheme to obtain Adderall for Whitaker, who is addicted to the drug, according to the complaint. Elsaidi began her investigation following the arrest of Whitaker, after she obtained three pills of Vyvanse from an undercover informant in Hillsdale County. She was stopped in Branch County, and the drugs were located. Elsaidi went to the Michigan Automated Prescription System to find prescriptions for Adderall that Whitaker had written to other patients. The officer then went to Alldredge, who is on felony probation for possession of meth. The police report indicated that Alldredge admitted that she got the prescriptions for Whitaker. Whitaker paid her for them and gave Alldredge prescriptions for the painkiller Tramadol, Alldredge's drug of choice, in return. The drugs were obtained four times between August and October of 2016. Alldredge is charged with four counts of delivery of the Adderall. Whitaker is charged with conspiracy to obtain the drug. The charges are seven-year felonies. Both are charged with four counts of obtaining prescriptions by fraud, four year felonies. Alldredge is being held under a $100,000 bond. Preliminary proceedings are set for both April 4 and April 11. In 2007, Dr. Whitaker pleaded guilty to obtaining Adderall by fraud. Then in court, she said she had been told to use Adderall in medical school to help with her patient rapport. She said she turned to it again in a residency program and after she came to Coldwater. Adderall is a synthetic amphetamine. In January 2015, Aldredge was charged with possession of meth, after items were found with residue on them in her South Centennial Road home when her name appeared on pseudoephedrine purchase logs and police went to her home to talk with her. In April 2015, Alldredge was sentenced to 10 months jail and two years probation. A violation of probation is pending in Branch County Circuit Court. Both knew what to expect when caught. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Not getting subscription at AOL Dear Webby I have not received your Humor site in over two months. Has something happened that I have missed? I take trips a lot and don't catch up previous entries. I do hope that you are okay and all is well with you. My prayers are with you ever day. One of your loving fans.always. God Bless you. Sharon /i> Dear Sharon Ask AOL support why you can't see it. Your subscription is getting sent out to you every night like it has been every night since 1994. Once it has entered the AOL server, there is nothing more, that I can do about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
A little old lady is sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sweet Bacon Chicken By Sandi/Poor But Proud [572 Posts, 2,379 Comments] I have had this recipe in my book for over two years now and finally made it the night before Thanksgiving. It has three ingredients (not including a few spices) and is so good! Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 25-30 minutes Total Time: 40-45 minutes Yield: About 6 strips if you use a large breast. Source: http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/main- course/chicken/sweet-spicy-bacon-chicken.html Link: www.justapinch.com I have had this recipe in my book for over two years now and finally made it the night before Thanksgiving. It has three ingredients (not including a few spices) and is so good! Prep Time: 15 minutes Cook Time: 25-30 minutes Total Time: 40-45 minutes Yield: About 6 strips if you use a large breast. Source: http://www.justapinch.com/recipes/main- course/chicken/sweet-spicy-bacon-chicken.html Link: www.justapinch.com Sweet Bacon Chicken ingredients Ingredients: 2-3 chicken breasts (boneless and skinless) cut into larger strips 4-6 slices bacon, cut into halves lengthwise 1/2 cup brown sugar 2 Tbsp chili powder 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder Steps: When the chicken is cut up, sprinkle with garlic and onion. Wrap the cut bacon around the chicken so it is even. Roll the breasts in the brown sugar/chili powder mix and bake for 30-35 minutes at 350 degrees F. Serve with a side and perhaps a salad. Enjoy!
Jason Brown - Riverdance on Ice (starts at :25)
____________________________________________________ US State mottos: Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Not Everything *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S" *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Many Tax Brackets) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Very Little Else *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Nevada: Hookers and Poker! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Tennessee: The Edacashun State *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English) *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Vermont: Yep *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor? *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really! *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Wyoming: Where Men Are Many ... and the sheep are scared! ___________________________________________________
Lets take a trip or two or three......
A construction boss in Boston was interviewing men when along came a guy named Vinny from New York. I'm not hiring any wise-ass New Yorker, the foreman thought, so he made up a test hoping that Vinny wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into a dispute. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Widout numbiz?" Vinny says. "Dat's easy," and he proceeds to draw 3 trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. The New Yorker replies, "Ain't you got no brains? Tree 'n Tree 'n Tree makes nine. Faghedaboutit......" "Fair enough," says the Boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time use the number 99." Vinny stares into space for a minute, then picks up the picture he has drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dare ya go, Buddy." The Boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Vinny says "Each a da tree's is dirty now! So it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree' n dirty tree-dat's 99". The Boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the New Yorker, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules but this time use 100." Vinny stares into space again, then picks up the picture once again, makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dare ya go, Mac, a hunnert." The Boss looks at the picture for a moment and says, "You must be nuts if you think that represents 100!" New York Vinny leans forward and points to the marks at the base of the trees. "A little doggie comes along and takes a crap on each a dem trees, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd - which makes one hundred. Bada boom, bada bing.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 27
1794 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of the U.S.
Navy. 

1802 The Treaty of Amiens was signed ending the French
Revolutionary War. 

1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including
their commander James Fannin, were executed under orders
from Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30
Texans escaped execution. 

1836 The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH. 

1841 The first steam fire engine was tested in New York
City. Steam pump, horse pulled.

1860 The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn. 

1866 U.S. President Andrew Johnson vetoed the civil rights
bill, which later became the 14th amendment. 

1884 The first long-distance telephone call was made from
Boston to New York. 

1899 The first international radio transmission between
England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor G.
Marconi. 

1900 The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that gave
35 million pounds to the Boer War cause in South Africa. 

1900 The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops for active
duty. 

1901 Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo was captured by
the U.S. 

1904 Mary Jarris "Mother" Jones was ordered by Colorado
state authorities to leave the state. She was accused of
stirring up striking coal miners. 

1907 French troops occupied Oudja, Morocco, as a punitive
action for the murder of French Dr. Muchamp. 

1912 The first cherry blossom trees were planted in
Washington, DC. The trees were a gift from Japan. 

1917 The Seattle Metropolitans, of the Pacific Coast League
of Canada, defeated the Montreal Canadiens and became the
first U.S. hockey team to win the Stanley Cup. 

1931 Actor Charlie Chaplin received France’s Legion of Honor
decoration. 

1933 About 55,000 people staged a protest against Hitler in
New York City. 

1933 In the U.S., the Farm Credit Administration was
authorized. 

1941 Tokeo Yoshikawa arrived in Oahu, HI, and began spying
for Japan on the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor. 

1942 The British raided the Nazi submarine base at St.
Nazaire, France. 

1946 Four-month long strikes at both General Electric and
General Motors ended with a wage increase. 

1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in
Korea, the original dividing line between the two Koreas. 

1958 Nikita Khrushchev became the chairman of the Soviet
Council of Ministers in addition to First Secretary of the
Communist Party. 

1958 The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the
moon. 

1993 In China, Communist Party leader Jiang Zemin was
appointed President. 

1997 Russian workers, nearly 2 million, held a nationwide
strike to protest unpaid wages. 

1997 In Australia, Governor-General William Deane signed a
bill to overturn a 1996 Northern Territory act to legalize
assisted suicides. The 1996 act was the first in the world
to permit assisted suicides. 

1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved the prescription drug
Viagra. It was the first pill for male impotence. 

1998 Top civilian aircraft makers in France, Spain, Germany
and Britain agreed to create a single European aerospace and
defense company. 

2004 NASA successfully launched a remote controlled X-43A
jet that hit Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph). 

2007 NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent
officiating tool.

2017  smiled.


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Can you bolt down a computer? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, March 26

Europe goes on Summer Time today.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida Woman Commits ID Theft 
To Pay For Plastic Surgery
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 26 in
1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians 
east of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill No one can earn a million dollars honestly. --- William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Myrna I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What's the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary?" And you know what the answer was? "Morning Sickness." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of both femurs and pelvis. "What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment. "He fell out of a tree," I reported. The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree. "I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Acme Tree Experts." Looking again at the X rays, the radiologist said, "Cross out 'experts.'" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter the The Stonecarver for this picture: Typical Chicago ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nyaira Thomas 20, Lakeland, Floriduh Florida Woman Commits ID Theft To Pay For Plastic Surgery A Florida woman accused of stealing someone's identity to pay for thousands of dollars in plastic surgery is on the run. Lakeland Police said they are looking for 20-year-old Nyaira Thomas for allegedly stealing a woman's identity and personal information to pay for breast implants, butt lift and lip injection. Detectives said Thomas opened a credit application at Watson Clinic in Lakeland using the identity of a woman living in Illinois. Police said the suspect had a fraudulent Illinois ID with her picture on it. Thomas had two procedures done on separate occasions. On Feb. 20, Thomas underwent surgery for breast implants, liposuction of her flanks, and the fat from the flanks were placed in her buttocks, according to a police report. Detectives said the suspect also received one CC of Juvederm in her lips on Feb. 27. The total cost for the procedures is $11,025. Detectives said they located a Lake Wales address off of a credit application report and identified Thomas as the culprit. Police are currently looking for the suspect. Target Goes Photoshop-Free in New Swimsuit Campaign She faces a slew of charges including grand theft, forgery and criminal use of personal ID. Anyone with information on Thomas' whereabouts is urged to call the Lakeland Police Department at 863-834-8993. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Roger Re: Bolting down a computer Dear Webby Is it safe to bolt or screw desktop computer down to the floor, so that it can't be moved? What is the best way to do it? Roger /i> Dear Roger With an upright case that is easier than you think. The bottom in it is usually free, with nothing in the way. Everything is attached to the side wall opposite to the wall, that opens. Take a drill with a small, 1/8" drill bit and drill a few holes into the bottom. Then line up the computer, so that you have full access to the back, where everything is plugged in and so that all cables can be plugged in. That might limit the locations! Once the location is satisfactory, use sheet-metal screws and screw the machine to the floor. They will widen the hole as necesary. Those screws are available with all kinds of heads, including tamper-proof. Have FUN! DearWebby
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a long hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, "Your pastor is sure a lot friendlier than mine!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Getting Rid of Ants in the Kitchen By anglophile [10 Comments] An exterminator said to put your used but unwashed jelly, jam and other sugar containing items outside near ant's access and they will clean those up and stay out of the house, works for us. I keep them hidden behind a decorative item. They will clean up those with regular sugar first and if desperate will clean out those with corn syrup. I have only had ants since if I forget to put the jars out in the spring. Saves the ants a long walk, lol. -------------- Other hints listed were to use Windex or Pledge.
Unloading a truck Taiwan-style
____________________________________________________ Three guys are fishing in the Caribbean. One guy says, "I had a terrible fire; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here." The second guy says, "I had a terrible explosion; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here." The third guy says, "What a coincidence. I had a terrible flood; lost everything. Now the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I'm here." The other guys turn to him with confusion and ask, "Flood? How do you start a flood?" ___________________________________________________
Lets take a trip or two or three......
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 26
1026 Conrad II was crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John
XIX. 

1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine. 

1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France.


1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east
of the Mississippi to Louisiana. 

1804 The Louisiana Purchase was divided into the District of
Louisiana and the Territory of Orleans. 

1854 Charles III, duke of Parma, was attacked by an
assassin. He died the next day. 

1871 The Paris Commune was formally set up. 

1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced
the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY. 

1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the
Sabi Game reserve, was designated. 

1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali
as shah in place of the constitutional government. 

1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907
Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists
and carriers of disease from settling in the U.S. 

1913 During the Balkan War, the Bulgarians took Adrianople. 

1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry
withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance. 

1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue
of Popeye. 

1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria. 

1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland. 

1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended. 

1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when
the Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska and
were intercepted by a U.S. naval force. 

1953 Dr. Jonas Salk announced a new vaccine that would
prevent poliomyelitis. 

1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful
satellite, Explorer III. 

1962 The U.S. Supreme Court supported the 1-man-1-vote
apportionment of seats in the State Legislature. 

1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the
independent republic of Bangladesh. 

1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the
premiership and said "the stage of total confrontation (with
Israel) has become inevitable." 

1973 Women were allowed on the floor of the London Stock
Exchange for the first time. 

1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt
that ended the 31-year state of war between the countries. 

1983 The U.S. performed a nuclear test at the Nevada Test
Site. 

1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet
Union. Boris Yeltsin was elected. 

1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and
Uruguay signed an agreement that established the Southern
Cone Common Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995. 

1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson
was found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in
prison. He only served three. 

1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border
controls. 

1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2
billion loan for Russia to help the country transform its
economy. 

1997 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a
mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed
suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship
following behind the comet Hale-Bopp. 

1998 In the U.S., the Federal government endorses new HIV
test that yields instant results. 

1998 Unisys Corp. and Lockheed Martin Corp. pay a $3.15
million fine for selling spare parts at inflated prices to
the U.S. federal government. 

1999 The macro virus "Melissa" was reported for the first
time. 

1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of
second-degree murder for giving a terminally ill man a
lethal injection and putting it all on videotape on
September 17, 1998 for "60 Minutes." 

2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a
new football arena. It was shown live on the Internet.

2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected
president outright. He won a sufficient number of votes to
avoid a runoff election. 

2007 The design for the "Forever Stamp" was unveiled by the
U.S. Postal Service.

2017  smiled.


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Is it OK to delete all downloads? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, March 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Deltona woman arrested after toddler shoots out 
car window at school
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 25 in
1655 Christian Huygens discovered Titan. 
Titan is Saturn's largest satellite. 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies. --- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty. --- Eugene McCarthy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company. The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly. To show just "how" the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game: "The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the 2016 Softball Season, we came in second place, having lost only one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game and came in second-last overall." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Sweden ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Abbie Maldonado, 30, Deltona, Floriduh Deltona woman arrested after toddler shoots out car window at school A 30-year-old Deltona woman was arrested Monday afternoon after a 3-year-old boy grabbed her loaded gun and shot out the window of a car parked at a church school, the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office said. Abbie Maldonado had the toddler in the car with her when she drove to the Good Shepherd Academy on Howland Boulevard to pick up her son from school shortly before 3:45 p.m., Sheriff's Office spokesman Gary Davidson said. "Maldonado got out to walk around and left the boy unsecured in the back of the vehicle with the rear passenger door propped open so she could keep an eye on the child," Davidson said. Maldonado told investigators she was walking in the parking lot with some other parents when she heard a loud bang, deputies said. She said she didn't immediately realize it was gunfire. "She went to the vehicle to check on the child and then walked around the parking lot some more," Davidson said. "Maldonado then returned to the vehicle and took the child into the school to go to the bathroom, still not realizing anything was wrong." When Maldonado returned to her car, she said she heard glass crackling and noticed the front driver’s side window shattered, Davidson said. Deputies said Maldonado walked toward the front of the church to see if anyone had seen someone by her vehicle, and upon returning to the vehicle, she noticed that her loaded gun wasn’t in the driver’s side door pocket where she had left it. "It was on the front seat," Davidson said. "Maldonado told deputies that she normally keeps the gun locked in the trunk." Maldonado received a valid concealed-carry weapon permit from the state last month, deputies said. Maldonado's boyfriend picked up the children, and she was arrested and charged with child neglect. She was freed from jail after paying bail. No one was injured in the incident. "I'm like shaking right now to think that... just a child to grab it. Thank God he didn't get hurt," said parent Mary Justino. The Department of Children and Families told Channel 9's Mike Springer that it's investigating the incident. ------------- There are book size gun safes with fingerprint recognition available, and have been for a long time. I bought one for my dad about 15 years ago. You just stick a finger into a hole on it, it checks the fingerprint, and if it recognizes the finger, it unlocks. Simple, easy, and costs less than a handgun. With kids on the loose it is indeed criminal to leave loaded guns within reach of the kids. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann S Re: Is it OK to delete all downloads? Dear Webby Is it okay to delete all the files I downloaded??? Thanks Ann S /i> Dear Ann That is like asking if ALL women or all men are bad. Some are good and worth keeping. If you know that all files you downloaded are in the download directory, and they are all just uTube and similar stuff, that keep coming around again anyway, yes, then it would be safe to delete them all. You might have some program downloads in there too. Those you can always get again, if you ever need them. Just browse that folder and sort by type to get all pictures together, then check those. There might be a few valuable keepers in there. Also check the folders, that you have set as the default folders for email attachments and embedded files. If some of your friends use Incredimail, then those will be polluted with all the little butterflies and flowers and stuff attached to Incredimail. There could be many thousands unless you weed out that stuff occasionally. Also browse the directory where Skype saves pictures and transfers. Most of those pictures and movie clips were probably fun or important at the time, but are no longer useful. You can gain quite a bit of space there. Have FUN! DearWebby
Some guy is claiming that a tonic of beer and urine will improve your garden. That might explain why the lawns around frat houses always seem to be in desperate need of mowing.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Best Ever Lemon-Coconut Squares By Jackie H. [228 Posts, 108 Comments] A sweet coconut twist on the ever popular lemon squares. Total Time: 20 minutes prep time 50 minutes cooking time Yield: Serves 24 Source: A little taken from a few recipes, the coconut and confectioners topping was my idea. Something different! Ingredients: 2 cups all purpose flour 1 cup confectioners' sugar 1 cup melted butter 4 eggs, beaten with mixer 2 cups white sugar 1 tsp baking powder pinch salt 1/4 cup all-purpose flour 5/8 cup Real Lemon juice 1/4 cup sifting confectioners' sugar 1/3 cup flaked coconut Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease (I spray oil) and flour a 9x13 inch pan. In a medium bowl, stir together 2 cups of flour and 1 cup confectioners' sugar. Blend in melted butter. Press into the bottom of the prepared pan. Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes, or until golden. In a large bowl, beat eggs with mixer until light. Combine the white sugar, baking powder, salt, and 1/4 cup of flour so there will be no flour lumps. Stir the sugar mixture into the eggs. Finally, stir in the lemon juice. Pour over the prepared crust and return to the oven. Bake for an additional 30-40 minutes or until bars are set. Allow to cool completely before cutting into squares. Using a sifter, sift accross the squares with a light coating of confectioners' sugar and scatter a light coating of flake coconut. Then put in the broiler for 3-5 minutes, just to toast the coconut. Watch it carefully! Enjoy!
Funny Horse Scout
____________________________________________________ Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too. "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry," she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?" ___________________________________________________
Cute melting animals....
A teacher was winding up a discussion in her fourth grade class on the importance of curiosity. Teacher: "Where would we be today if no one had ever been curious?" Lucy: "In the Garden of Eden?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 25
0421 The city of Venice was founded. 

1306 Robert the Bruce was crowned king of Scotland. 

1634 Lord Baltimore founded the Catholic colony of Maryland.


1655 Puritans jailed Governor Stone after a military victory
over Catholic forces in the colony of Maryland. 

1655 Christian Huygens discovered Titan. Titan is Saturn's
largest satellite. 

1669 Mount Etna in Sicily erupted destroying Nicolosi.
20,000 people were killed. 

1774 English Parliament passed the Boston Port Bill. 

1776 The Continental Congress authorized a medal for General
George Washington. 

1802 France, Netherlands, Spain and England signed the Peace
of Amiens. 

1807 The first railway passenger service began in England. 

1807 British Parliament abolished the slave trade. 

1813 The frigate USS Essex flew the first U.S. flag in
battle in the Pacific. 

1814 The Netherlands Bank was established. 

1820 Greece revolt against Ottoman attack 

1821 Greece gained independence from Turkey. 

1856 A. E. Burnside patented Burnside carbine. 

1857 Frederick Laggenheim took the first photo of a solar
eclipse. 

1865 The SS General Lyon caught fire at Cape Hatteras and
sank. 400 people were killed. 

1865 During the American Civil War, Confederate forces
captured Fort Stedman in Virginia. 

1879 Japan invaded the kingdom of Liuqiu (Ryukyu) Islands,
formerly a vassal of China. 

1895 Italian troops invaded Abyssinia (Ethiopia). 

1900 The U.S. Socialist Party was formed in Indianapolis. 

1901 55 people died when a Rock Island train derailed near
Marshalltown, IA. 

1901 The Mercedes was introduced by Daimler at the five-day
"Week of Nice" in Nice, France. 

1901 It was reported in Washington, DC, that Cubans were
beginning to fear annexation. 

1902 Irving W. Colburn patented the sheet glass drawing
machine. 

1902 In Russia, 567 students were found guilty of "political
disaffection." 95 students were exiled to Siberia. 

1904 E.D. Morel and Roger Casement formed the Congo Reform
Association in Liverpool. 

1905 Rebel battle flags that were captured during the
American Civil War were returned to the South. 

1905 Russia received Japan's terms for peace. 

1907 Nicaraguan troops took Tegucigalpa, the capital of
Honduras. 

1909 In Russia, revolutionary Popova was arrested on 300
murder charges. 

1911 In New York City, 146 women were killed in fire at the
Triangle Shirtwaist Company in New York City. The owners of
the company were indicted on manslaughter charges because
some of the employees had been behind locked doors in the
factory. The owners were later acquitted and in 1914 they
were ordered to pay damages to each of the twenty-three
families that had sued. 

1915 21 people died when a U.S. F-4 submarine sank off the
Hawaiian coast. 

1919 The Paris Peace Commission adopted a plan to protect
nations from the influx of foreign labor. 

1923 The British government granted Trans-Jordan autonomy. 

1931 Fifty people were killed in riots that broke out in
India. Gandhi was one of many people assaulted. 

1931 The Scottsboro Boys were arrested in Alabama. 

1936 The Detroit Red Wings defeated the Montreal Maroons in
the longest hockey game to date. The game lasted for 2 hours
and 56 minutes. 

1940 The U.S. agreed to give Britain and France access to
all American warplanes. 

1941 Yugoslavia joined the Axis powers. 

1941 The first paprika mill was incorporated in Dollon, SC. 

1947 A coalmine explosion in Centralia, IL, killed 111
people. 

1947 John D. Rockefeller III presented a check for $8.5
million to the United Nations for the purchase of land for
the site of the U.N. center. 

1953 The USS Missouri fired on targets at Kojo, North Korea.


1954 RCA manufactured its first color TV set and began mass
production. 

1957 The European Economic Community was established with
the signing of the Treaty of Rome. 

1960 A guided missile was launched from a nuclear powered
submarine for the first time. 

1965 Martin Luther King Jr. led a group of 25,000 to the
state capital in Montgomery, AL. 

1966 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the "poll tax" was
unconstitutional. 

1970 The Concorde made its first supersonic flight. 

1971 The Boston Patriots became the New England Patriots. 

1972 Bobby Hull joined Gordie Howe to become only the second
National Hockey League player to score 600 career goals. 

1975 King Faisal of Saudi Arabia was shot to death by a
nephew. The nephew, with a history of mental illness, was
beheaded the following June. 

1981 The U.S. Embassy in San Salvador was damaged when
gunmen attacked using rocket propelled grenades and machine
guns. 

1982 Wayne Gretzky became the first player in the NHL to
score 200 points in a season. 

1983 The U.S. Congress passed legislation to rescue the U.S.
social security system from bankruptcy. 

1985 It was reported that a U.S. Army Major stationed in
East Germany had been shot and killed by a Soviet Border
Guard. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan ordered emergency aid for
the Honduran army. U.S. helicopters took Honduran troops to
the Nicaraguan border. 

1988 Robert E. Chambers Jr. pled guilty to first-degree
manslaughter in the death of 18-year-old Jennifer Levin. The
case was known as New York City's "preppie murder case." 

1989 In Paris, the Louvre reopened with I.M. Pei's new
courtyard pyramid. 

1990 A fire in Happy Land, an illegal New York City social
club, killed 87 people. 

1990 Estonia voted for independence from the Soviet Union. 

1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein launched a major
counter-offensive to recapture key towns from Kurds in
northern Iraq. 

1992 Soviet cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev returned to Earth
after spending 10 months aboard the orbiting Mir space
station.

1993 President de Klerk admitted that South Africa had built
six nuclear bombs, but said that they had since been
dismantled. 

1994 United States troops completed their withdrawal from
Somalia. 

1995 Boxer Mike Tyson was released from jail after serving 3
years. 

1996 An 81-day standoff by the antigovernment Freemen began
at a ranch near Jordan, MT. 

1996 The U.S. issued a newly redesigned $100 bill for
circulation. 

1998 A cancer patient was the first known to die under
Oregon's doctor-assisted suicide law. 

1998 The FCC nets $578.6 million at auction for licenses for
new wireless technology. 

1998 Quinn Pletcher was found guilty on charges of
extortion. He had threatened to kill Bill Gates unless he
was paid $5 million. 

2004 The U.S. Senate voted (61-38) on the Unborn Victims of
Violence Act (H.R. 1997) to make it a separate crime to harm
a fetus during the commission of a violent federal crime.

2017  smiled.


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Can`t use the mouse to copy from the Windows calculator 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, March 24
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Oregon man arrested for stealing street sweeper
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 24 in
1545 German Parliament opened in Worms.

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. --- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945) Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. --- Jimmy Demaret "The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more." --- Max Kauffmann ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Rick I had put in an 18-hour day at work and was upset to find my four-year-old Zack asleep in bed with my wife when I got home. Zack squirms so much it is impossible to get a decent night's sleep when he is with us. Exhausted, I collapsed into his bed instead, where I slept better than I had in years. The next morning, I asked my wife, "Why was Zack in bed with you?" "Oh," she replied, shrugging, "he wet his bed, and I was too tired to change his sheets." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From David My mother once gave me two sweaters for Christmas. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tyler HaguewoodTyler Haguewood, 33, Hillsboro, Oregon Oregon man arrested for stealing street sweeper An Oregon man did not make a clean getaway early Sunday after stealing a street sweeper and leading police on a 10- mile chase. According to cops, Tyler Haguewood, 33, jumped into the street sweeper around 3:45 AM after the driver, a private contractor, exited the running vehicle to “use a handheld blower in order to clean an area where the street-sweeper could not reach.” Haguewood then drove off in the Isuzu street sweeper. Upon learning of the theft, cops in Hillsboro, a city 20 miles outside Portland, quickly located the vehicle on the deserted pre-dawn streets. “Officers activated their overhead emergency lights. The street-sweeper failed to yield,” cops say. For 10 miles, officers pursued the street sweeper, which topped out at 65 mph. The chase ended after Haguewood drove over spike strips placed in the roadway by Washington County Sheriff's Office deputies. Pictured above, Haguewood was taken into custody without incident and charged with multiple counts, including auto theft and attempting to elude police. He is also facing a parole violation charge in connection with a prior conviction for aggravated harassment. Haguewood is being held in the Washington County jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Vera Re: Cant copy from Windows calculator Dear Webby How come I can't copy from the calculator in Windows by using the mouse ? Vera /i> Dear Vera The Windows calculator always had that shortcoming, even in Windows 3.0 because basically it is a DOS program. Just treat it like a DOS program and imagine you had no mouse. When done calculating, type ALT E C Then with ALT TAB jump back to the program you were using before using the calculator. CTRL V pastes the result that you have copied from the calculator. It is actually a lot faster than taking a hand off the keyboard and mousing around. There are a number of calculator programs available that let you copy with the mouse, however, my recommendation is to use a spreadsheet like Calc or Excel, whether you are a mouse addict or prefer hot-keys. With a spreadsheet you see all your entries, you can correct typos no matter how far back they are, do sorting, searching, show numbers below or above a limit that you set in a different color, and thousands of other tricks. I normally have a spreadsheet open and narrowed to about 1/10 of the screen on the left side, and I use that as a calculator, scratch-pad and even calculating calendar. You really get spoiled once you get comfortable with spreadsheets. Have FUN! DearWebby
's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and an unfamiliar voice from inside called, "Get me outa here!" "Don't worry," replied, "Maintenance should be sending somebody shortly." "They did," said the voice.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mustard Green Soup with Chicken By 15mhhm15 [56 Posts, 137 Comments] This is a healthy and delicious staple soup in our household and I wanted to share it with you all. Prep Time: 10 Cook Time: 15 Total Time: 35 Yield: 2 Ingredients: 1/2 bundle mustard greens 1/2 white onion 1/2 lb chicken breasts 2 cups water 2 Tbsp fish sauce dash salt dash sugar Steps: Prep your ingredients. Wash mustard green and cut into 3" in pieces or your desire. Slice onions. Slice chicken breast to your desire. Boil water in a pot, throw your onions in and sliced chicken breast. Add fish sauce, dash of sugar and salt then boil for 15 minutes. Throw in your vegetables and turn off the heat. Cover for 10 more minutes with the stove off. Ready to serve. Optional: Garnish with black pepper on top of the soup.
Funny Horse Scout
____________________________________________________ The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples, a tractor, and a vase." ___________________________________________________
Dead Sea dress.
Three rabbinical students were caught by the Rabbi gambling and drinking in the company of undesirable characters before the sun set on the evening of the Sabbath. The Rabbi called them into his study the next day. They all confessed to having given in to weakness, and admitted that they deserved punishment. The Rabbi thought for a moment, then went into his kitchen and brought back three bags of dried peas. "Put these in your shoes," he told them, "and walk on them for a week, to remind yourself how hard life can be when you turn away from your faith." A few days later the three students met. One was limping terribly, had dark circles under his eyes, and looked very tired. The others seemed much as he had been the week before. The first student said, "How is it that you are walking so freely? Didn't you do as the Rabbi told us and put the peas in your shoes?" "Of course I did," said the second. "How could I disobey the Rabbi? I just chose to wear a different pair of shoes." The third student interrupted, "The rabbi expressly stated that we were to WALK on the peas." The first student inquired how he could be walking so well if he was walking on the peas. The third student smiled and said, "I boiled them first."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 24
1379 The Gelderse war ended. 

1545 German Parliament opened in Worms. 

1550 France and England signed the Peace of Boulogne. 

1629 In Virginia, the first game law was passed in the
American colonies. 

1664 A charter to colonize Rhode Island was granted to Roger
Williams in London. 

1720 In Paris, banking houses closed due to financial
crisis. 

1765 Britain passed the Quartering Act that required the
American colonies to house 10,000 British troops in public
and private buildings. 

1828 The Philadelphia & Columbia Railway was authorized as
the first state owned railway. 

1832 Mormon Joseph Smith was beaten, tarred and feathered in
Ohio. 

1837 Canada gave blacks the right to vote 

1848 A state of siege was proclaimed in Amsterdam. 

1868 Metropolitan Life Insurance Company was formed. 

1878 The British frigate Eurydice sank killing 300. 

1880 The first "hail insurance company" was incorporated in
Connecticut. It was known as Tobacco Growers’ Mutual
Insurance Company. 

1882 In Berlin, German scientist Robert Koch announced the
discovery of the tuberculosis germ (bacillus). 

1883 The first telephone call between New York and Chicago
took place. 

1900 Mayor Van Wyck of New York broke the ground for the New
York subway tunnel that would link Manhattan and Brooklyn. 

1900 In New Jersey, the Carnegie Steel Corporation was
formed. 

1904 Vice Adm. Tojo sank seven Russian ships as the Japanese
strengthened their blockade of Port Arthur. 

1905 In Crete, a group led by Eleutherios Venizelos claimed
independence from Turkey. 

1906 In Mexico, the Tehuantepec Istmian Railroad opened as a
rival to the Panama Canal. 

1906 The "Census of the British Empire" revealed that
England ruled 1/5 of the world. 

1911 In Denmark, penal code reform abolished corporal
punishment. 

1920 The first U.S. coast guard air station was established
at Morehead City, NC. 

1924 Greece became a republic. 

1927 Chinese Communists seized Nanking and break with Chiang
Kai-shek over the Nationalist goals. 

1932 Belle Baker hosted a radio variety show from a moving
train. It was the first radio broadcast from a train. 

1938 The U.S. asked that all countries help refugees fleeing
from the Nazis. 

1946 The Soviet Union announced that it was withdrawing its
troops from Iran. 

1955 Tennessee Williams' play "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"
debuted on Broadway. 

1955 The first oil drill seagoing rig was put into service. 

1960 A U.S. appeals court ruled that the novel "Lady
Chatterly’s Lover" was not obscene and could be sent through
the mail. 

1972 Great Britain imposed direct rule over Northern
Ireland. 

1976 The president of Argentina, Isabel Peron, was deposed
by her country's military. 

1980 In San Salvador, Archbishop Oscar Arnulfo Romero was
shot to death by gunmen as he celebrated Mass. 

1982 Soviet leader Leonid L. Brezhnev stated that Russia was
willing to resume border talks with China. 

1985 Thousands demonstrated in Madrid against the NATO
presence in Spain. 

1989 The Exxon Valdez spilled 240,000 barrels (11 million
gallons) of oil in Alaska's Prince William Sound after it
ran aground. 

1989 The U.S. decided to send humanitarian aid to the
Contras. 

1990 Indian troops left Sri Lanka. 

1991 The African nation of Benin held its first presidential
elections in about 30 years. 

1993 In Israel, Ezer Weizman, an advocate of peace with
neighboring Arab nations, was elected President. 

1995 Russian forces surrounded Achkoi-Martan. It was one of
the few remaining strongholds of rebels in Chechenia. 

1997 The Australian parliament overturned the world's first
and only euthanasia law. 

1998 In Jonesboro, AR, two young boys open fire at students
from woods near a school. Four students and a teacher were
killed and 10 others were injured. The two boys were 11 and
13 years old cousins. 

1999 NATO launched air strikes against Yugoslavia (Serbia,
Montenegro, Kosovo and Vojvodina). The attacks marked the
first time in its 50-year history that NATO attacked a
sovereign country. The bombings were in response to Serbia's
refusal to sign a peace treaty with ethnic Albanians who
were seeking independence for the province of Kosovo. 

1999 The 7-mile tunnel under Mont Blanc in France became an
inferno after a truck carrying flour and margarine caught
fire. At least 30 people were killed. 

2001 Apple Computer Inc's operating system MAC OS X went on
sale. 

2005 The government of Kyrgyzstan collapsed after opposition
protesters took over President Askar Akayev's presidential
compound and government offices. 

2006 In Spain, the Basque separatist group ETA announced a
permanent cease-fire. 

2014 It was announced that the U.S. and its allies would
exclude Russia from the G8 meeting and boycott a planned
summit in Sochi in response to Russia's takeover of Crimea. 

2017  smiled.


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When changing icons for shortcuts does not work 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Iowa man busted after receiving 10 pounds of marijuana 
in the mail
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 23 in
1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, 
"give me liberty, or give me death!" 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them. --- Dame Rose Macaulay (1881 - 1958) I'm lazy. But it's the lazy people who invented the wheel and the bicycle because they didn't like walking or carrying things. --- Lech Walesa (1943 - ) Women demand their men to be reliable and predictable, mostly so that they can accuse them of being boring. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for...." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ During an award ceremony the wife of Spain's ambassador to Washington asked a certain senator if he could make his speech a bit longer, since the ambassador had still not arrived from the airport. The senator replied: "I spent years in the U.S. Senate, Madam. I can speak on any subject for any length of time -- especially on a subject about which I have no particular knowledge." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Charles A. Simpson, 25, Davenport, Iowa Man busted after receiving 10 pounds of marijuana in the mail A 25-year-old Davenport man is facing charges of peddling marijuana after his brother mailed him 10 pounds of the drug to sell locally, Davenport police said. The marijuana was mailed through the U.S. Postal Service. Postal inspectors teamed with Davenport police on the case. Charles A. Simpson, of 2216 Grand Ave., is charged with one count each of possession with the intent to deliver less than 50 kilograms of marijuana, conspiracy to possess and deliver less than 50 kilograms of marijuana, and failure to affix an Iowa drug tax stamp. Naughty! Each of the charges is a Class D felony under Iowa law that carries a prison sentence of up to five years. According to the arrest affidavit filed by a member of the Davenport Police Department’s Tactical Operations Bureau, Devin Simpson mailed 10 pounds of marijuana through the U.S. Postal Service to his brother, Charles Simpson. The deal was that Charles Simpson would sell the marijuana to multiple customers. For every pound of marijuana Charles Simpson sold Devin Simpson would reward him with $100 and free marijuana. Since the dope was not discovered where it was sent, most likely Charles had mentioned the expected arrival within earshot of a narc. Charles Simpson was arrested Monday. He was released from the Scott County Jail after posting 10 percent of a $5,000 bond through a bonding company. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Changing icons on shortcuts does not work Dear Webby This is not a major problem, just an annoyance. For some reason, I am able to change the icon on some desktop shortcuts, but not on others. I use your method for making icons and store them in an icon folder. I choose a shortcut/right click/Properties/Change Icon/choose new icon from the icon folder/OK/Apply. The new icon shows in the "Change Icon" window. OK then Apply. The icon should change, but it remains the same on the desktop shortcut. I don't know why it works only sometimes. Any ideas? Thanks. Bill /i> Dear Bill You are doing it the right way. That should definitely work with shortcuts. Are your icons 64 x 64, saved as .bmp and then, after closing the bmp file, renaming the icon with the file explorer to .ico ? If it is not .ico, then Windows usually plays stupid. Check that and tell me if that makes a difference. Microsoft claims it is because of Backward Compatibility, but that is total BS. Nobody is using Windows 3 anymore. Windows went graphical with Windows95. Try that and let me know if it helped. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby Thanks again for your help. I had failed to reduce the size to 64 X 64 pixels. That was my mistake. It now works! All the best. Bill /i>
A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Eggshells for Planting Tomatoes By Litter Gitter [204 Posts, 663 Comments] To prevent blossom rot, I put a handful of egg shells in the hole with the tomato plant when setting them. This gives the tomatoes calcium and it works. For 2 dozen tomato plants, I use 2 gallons of crushed egg shells. It takes me a year to save up that many. Whenever I use eggs, I rinse the sticky stuff out of the shells and set them on a paper towel to drain. After they dry, they are ready to crush and add to the bag. I usually let them build up in the bag and then put them in a bowl and crush with my hands and fingers. (This also buffs my rough skin and makes it smooth.) I store the bag in the pantry until spring planting time. If you want to try this, you need to start saving your egg shells. In the 50's, when having the reddest and brightest Geraniums in the outside window boxes was of vital importance in the village, Grandma used to send me around the neighborhood collecting egg shells. I was of course also tasked with scooping "road apples" donated by the still fairly frequent horses. She ground the egg shells with the big cast iron hand crank grinder and then the egg shells and the road apples were put into a barrel and "steeped" until spring. That was her secret fertilizer for her prize winning Geraniums.
Cleaning the St. Louis Arch
____________________________________________________ Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just absolutely had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he wasn't felling well and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why would you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?" ___________________________________________________
Caves of art in New Mexico.
Murphy came home drunk as a skunk for the third night in a row. Judi, his wife, dragged him to the window and pointed out to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance. "Do you see how big it is?" she thundered. "They can always make it faster than you can drink it!" "Maybe so, [hic]," he burped, "but I've got 'em working nights!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 23
1026 Koenraad II crowned himself king of Italy. 

1066 The 18th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
took place. 

1490 The first dated edition of Maimonides "Mishna Torah"
was published. 

1775 American revolutionary Patrick Henry declared, "give me
liberty, or give me death!" 

1794 Josiah G. Pierson patented a rivet machine. 

1806 Explorers Lewis and Clark, reached the Pacific coast,
and began their return journey to the east. 

1808 Napoleon's brother Joseph took the throne of Spain. 

1835 Charles Darwin reached Los Arenales, in the Andes. 

1836 The coin press was invented by Franklin Beale. 

1839 The first recorded printed use of "OK" [oll korrect]
occurred in Boston's Morning Post. 

1840 The first successful photo of the Moon was taken. 

1848 Hungary proclaimed its independence from Austria. 

1857 Elisha Otis installed the first modern passenger
elevator in a public building. It was at the corner of
Broome Street and Broadway in New York City. 

1858 Eleazer A. Gardner patented the cable streetcar. 

1861 London's first tramcars began operations. 

1880 John Stevens patented the grain crushing mill. The mill
increased flour production by 70 percent. 

1881 The Boers and Britain signed a peace accord ending the
first Boer war. 

1889 U.S. President Harrison opened Oklahoma for white
colonization. 

1901 Dame Nellie Melba, revealed the secret of her now
famous toast. 

1901 It was learned that Boers were starving in British
concentration camps in South Africa. 

1902 In Italy, the minimum legal working age was raised from
9 to 12 for boys and from 11 to 15 for girls. 

1903 The Wright brothers obtained an airplane patent. 

1909 British Lt. Shackleton found the magnetic South Pole. 

1909 Theodore Roosevelt began an African safari sponsored by
the Smithsonian Institution and National Geographic
Society.


1912 The Dixie Cup was invented. 

1917 Austrian Emperor Charles I made a peace proposal to
French President Poincare. 

1917 In the Midwest U.S., four tornadoes kill 211 people
over a four day period. 

1918 Lithuania proclaimed independence. 

1921 Arthur G. Hamilton set a new parachute record when he
safely jumped from 24,400 feet. 

1922 The first airplane landed at the U.S. Capitol in
Washington, DC. 

1932 In the U.S., the Norris-LaGuardia Act established
workers' right to strike. 

1933 The German Reichstag adopted the Enabling Act. The act
effectively granted Adolf Hitler dictatorial legislative
powers. 

1934 The U.S. Congress accepted the independence of the
Philippines in 1945. 

1936 Italy, Austria & Hungary signed the Pact of Rome. 

1942 The Japanese occupy the Andaman Islands. 

1942 During World War II, the U.S. government began
evacuating Japanese-Americans from West Coast homes to
concentration camps. 

1951 U.S. paratroopers descended from flying boxcars in a
surprise attack in Korea. 

1956 Pakistan became the first Islamic republic. It was
still within the British Commonwealth. 

1956 Sudan became independent. 

1957 The U.S. Army sold the last of its homing pigeons. 

1965 America's first two-person space flight took off from
Cape Kennedy with astronauts Virgil I. Grissom and John W.
Young aboard. The craft was the Gemini 3. 

1965 The Moroccan Army shot at demonstrators. About 100
people were killed. 

1967 Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. called the Vietnam War
the biggest obstacle to the civil rights movement and
started a movement to backstab the war effort. 

1970 Mafia "Boss" Carlo Gambino was arrested for plotting to
steal $3 million. 

1972 The U.S. called a halt to the peace talks on Vietnam
being held in Paris. 

1972 Evel Knievel broke 93 bones after successfully jumping
35 cars. 

1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left
Panama for Egypt. 

1981 U.S. Supreme Court upheld a law making statutory rape a
crime for men but not women. 

1983 U.S. President Reagan first proposed development of
technology to intercept enemy missiles. The proposal became
known as the Strategic Defense Initiative and "Star Wars." 

1983 Dr. Barney Clark died after 112 days with a permanent
artificial heart. 

1989 A 1,000-foot diameter asteroid missed Earth by 500,000
miles. 

1989 Joel Steinberg was sentenced to 25 years for killing
his adopted daughter. 

1989 Two electrochemists, Stanley Pons and Martin
Fleischman, announced that they had created nuclear fusion
in a test tube at room temperature. It was a hoax.

1990 Former Exxon Valdez Captain Joseph Hazelwood was
ordered to help clean up Prince William Sound and pay
$50,000 in restitution for the 1989 oil spill. 

1993 U.N. experts announced that record ozone lows had been
registered over a large area of the Western Hemisphere. 

1994 Luis Donaldo Colosio, Mexico's leading presidential
candidate, was assassinated in Tijuana. Mario Aburto
Martinez was arrested at the scene and confessed to the
killing. 

1994 Wayne Gretzky broke Gordie Howe's National Hockey
League (NHL) career record with his 802nd goal. 

1996 Taiwan held its first democratic presidential
elections. 

1998 Germany's largest bank pledged $3.1 million to Jewish
foundations as restitution for Nazi looting. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that term limits for state
lawmakers were constitutional. 

1998 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired his Cabinet. 

1998 The movie "Titanic" won 11 Oscars at the Academy
Awards. 

1998 The German company Bertelsmann AG agreed to purchase
the American publisher Random House for $1.4 billion. The
merger created the largest English-language book-publishing
company in the world. 

1999 NATO Secretary-General Javier Solana gave formal
approval for air strikes against Serbian targets. 

2001 Russia's orbiting Mir space station was dumped into the
South Pacific after its 15-years of use.

2017  smiled.


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Keyboard letter stickers 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Nashville teens arrested for shooting at pizza shop
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 22 in
1903 Niagara Falls ran out of water due to a drought. 

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse. --- Miguel de Cervantes If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things. --- Rene Descartes ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery. On the day he was admitted his mother asked if the doctor would please circumcise the boy, since he's already going to be under anaesthesia. The boy woke up and was very sore "down there" there for several days. About a week later he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he, too, was also going to have to have his tonsils out. He asked the boy to tell him about the surgery. The little boy replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ As I left the supermarket, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band. "I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to one of the boys. "That you eat it for me." As I handed him back the candy bar, he shook his head. "I can't," he said. "Why not?" Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "Because I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by juan Bowers, 18, Tynerick Turner, 17, and a 16-year-old boy Nashville, Tennessee Nashville teens arrested for shooting at pizza shop A trio of Tennessee teenagers opened fire on a Nashville food market after a clerk gave them a pizza with the wrong toppings, according to police who arrested the gunmen on an assortment of felony charges. The shooting Tuesday afternoon at the DB Todd market was witnessed by an undercover detective who was conducting surveillance in the area. The suspects left the scene in a stolen Honda Accord, which the detective tailed as he summoned backup officers. Police subsequently arrested Djuan Bowers, 18, Tynerick Turner, 17, and a 16-year-old boy. According to court records, Bowers was carrying a loaded Smith & Wesson pistol when apprehended, while two other handguns--a stolen .45 caliber Glock and a .40 caliber Beretta--were found inside the vehicle. While being interviewed by officers, one of the defendants revealed that the market was fired upon due to a botched pizza order, police say. Nobody was injured by the gunfire. The teenagers are facing multiple counts of aggravated assault, weapons possession, and auto theft. Since his alleged accomplices are underage, Bowers was also charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor. Bowers (seen above left) and Turner were also charged with the gunpoint robbery last month of a man who turned over $900 during the stick-up. Bowers is being held in the Davidson County jail in lieu of $50,000. Turner and the 16-year-old defendant have been charged in juvenile court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Susan Re: Keyboard stickers Dear Webby I was overjoyed to find Arabic/English and Farsi/English stickers for my desktop and laptop keyboards because I hadn't memorized the corresponding letters on my "plain" English keyboard. I noticed on Amazon that there are English replacement stickers as well (I saw one set for $6.99) which seemed like less hassle and less potential for keyboard damage than painting your own or gluing letters on paper to the keycaps. They go on easily, come off easily, and are cheaper to replace than a keyboard. I had tried using the professional fine point white marker you mentioned a few years ago, but was not successful so the key cap stickers are a fast and cost-effective solution! Susan /i> Dear Susan Thank you very much for a great tip! Have FUN! DearWebby
After a hardy Arkansas rainstorm filled all the potholes in the back alley, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in a water puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of the head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the younger boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother ran to the back yard in a panic. "Why on Earth did you do that to your little brother?" she screamed as she shook the older boy in anger. "We were just playing 'church,' Mommy" He said. "I was baptizing him like the preacher did in church last Sunday. I said, "I now baptize you in the name of the father, the son, and in-da-hole-he-goes!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pulling Tissues from a Roll By joanWZ [47 Posts, 9 Comments] If you don't have a tissue holder in your office or inside a car and want to avoid pulling it in a messy way. Actually it's very simple to do. Pulling tissue from the middle of a roll of toilet paper. Removing the hard middle roll from toilet paper. First, do not pull the tissue from the cellophane because you don't have a tissue holder, right? Can you see in the middle of the tissue? There is a round, hard, cardboard at the center. So, here's the idea, slowly pull that round, hard cardboard at the center, just pull it outside the tissue. After pulling it, you can see the end cut of the tissue and that's the one you will pull out every time you get your tissue. And you can cover it back with the cellophane. Clean, simple and not messy at all. If you ever had a smoker in your house, chances are that there are some empty tobacco tins under some work bench. By sheer coincidence ;-) a roll of TP just fits inside. Many fine outhouses and camp site biffys have a screw top lid tobacco tin holding a roll of nice and dry toilet paper.
How far back in time can one go and still understand English
____________________________________________________ In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. One of the old farmers stood up and said, "What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes a pig has?" Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots, Bobo, and count them yourself!" ___________________________________________________
Caves of art in New Mexico.
Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physician, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. A bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 22
1457 Gutenberg Bible became the first printed bible. The
first books printed with movable type were done by Bi Sheng
in China about 500 years earlier.

1622 Indians attacked a group of colonists in the James
River area of Virginia. 347 colonists were killed. 

1630 The first legislation to prohibit gambling was enacted.
It was in Boston, MA. 

1638 Anne Hutchinsoon, a religious dissident, was expelled
from the Massachusetts Bay Colony. 

1719 Frederick William abolished serfdom on crown property
in Prussia. 

1733 Joseph Priestly invented carbonated water (seltzer). 

1765 The Stamp Act was passed. It was the first direct
British tax on the American colonists. It was repealed on
March 17, 1766. 

1794 The U.S. Congress banned U.S. vessels from supplying
slaves to other countries. 

1841 Englishman Orlando Jones patented cornstarch. 

1871 William Holden of North Carolina became the first
governor to be removed by impeachment. 

1872 Illinois became the first state to require sexual
equality in employment. 

1873 Slavery was abolished in Puerto Rico. 

1874 The Young Men's Hebrew Association was organized in New
York City. 

1882 The U.S. Congress outlawed polygamy. 

1888 The English Football League was established. (Soccer)

1894 The first playoff competition for the Stanley Cup
began. Montreal played Ottawa. 

1895 Auguste and Louis Lumiere showed their first movie to
an invited audience in Paris. 

1901 Japan proclaimed that it was determined to keep Russia
from encroaching on Korea. 

1902 Great Britain and Persia agreed to link Europe and
India by telegraph. 

1903 Niagara Falls ran out of water due to a drought. 

1903 In Columbia, the region near Galera De Zamba was
devastated by a volcanic eruption. 

1904 The first color photograph was published in the London
Daily Illustrated Mirror. 

1905 Child miners in Britain received a maximum 8-hour
workday. 

1907 Russians troops completed the evacuation of Manchuria
in the face of advancing Japanese forces. 

1907 In Paris, it was reported that male cab drivers dressed
as women to attract riders. 

1910 In Liberia, a telegraph cable linked Tenerife and
Monrovia. 

1915 A German zeppelin made a night raid on Paris railway
stations. 

1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill
legalizing the sale and possession of beer and wine
containing up to 3.2% alcohol. 

1935 In New York, blood tests were authorized as evidence in
court cases. 

1935 Persia was renamed Iran. 

1941 The Grand Coulee Dam in Washington began operations. 

1943 The Dutch workweek was extended to 54 hours. 

1943 Obligatory work for woman ends in Belgium. 

1945 The Arab League was formed with the adoption of a
charter in Cairo, Egypt. 

1946 The British granted Transjordan independence. 

1946 The first U.S. rocket to leave the earth's atmosphere
reached a height of 50-miles. It was a confiscated German V2
rocket without an explosive head.

1947 The Greek government imposed martial law in Laconia and
southern Greece. 

1948 The United States announced a land reform plan for
Korea. 

1954 The first shopping mall opened in Southfield, Michigan.

1954 The London gold market reopened for the first time
since 1939. 

1960 A.L. Schawlow & C.H. Townes obtained a patent for the
laser. It was the first patent for any laser. 

1965 U.S. confirmed that its troops used chemical warfare
against the Vietcong. 

1974 The Viet Cong proposed a new truce with the U.S. and
South Vietnam. The truce included general elections. 

1977 Comedienne Lily Tomlin made her debut on Broadway in
"Lily Tomlin on Stage" in New York. 

1977 Indira Ghandi resigned as the prime minister of India. 

1978 Karl Wallenda, of the Flying Wallendas, fell to his
death while walking a cable strung between two hotels in San
Juan, Puerto Rico. 

1979 The National Hockey League (NHL) voted to accept 4 WHA
teams, the Oilers, Jets, Nordiques & Whalers. 

1980 People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) was
founded by Ingrid Newkirk and Alex Pacheco. 

1981 RCA put its Selectra Vision laser disc players on the
market. 

1981 The first Mongolian entered space aboard the Russian
Soyuz 39. 

1982 The Space Shuttle Columbia was launched into orbit on
mission STS-3. It was the third orbital flight for the
Columbia. 

1987 A barge loaded with 32,000 tons of refuse left Islip,
NY, to find a place to unload. After being refused by
several states and three countries space was found back in
Islip. 

1990 A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Captain Hazelwood
not guilty in the Valdez oil spill. 

1991 Pamela Smart, a high school teacher, was found guilty
in New Hampshire of manipulating her student-lover to kill
her husband. 

1992 A Fokker F-28 veered off a runway at New York's
LaGuardia airport and into Flushing Bay, killing 27 people. 

1993 Intel introduced the Pentium-processor (80586) 64 bits-
60 MHz-100+ MIPS. 

1995 Russian cosmonaut Valeri Polyakov returned to Earth
after setting a record for 438 days in space. 

1997 Tara Lipinski, at 14 years and 10 months, became the
youngest women's world figure skating champion. 

2017  smiled.


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Replace worn lettering on laptop keyboard 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman arrested after throwing syringes into 
backseat with child during traffic stop
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 21 in
1556 Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, was
burned at the stake at Oxford after retracting the last of
seven recantations that same day.

 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ If you wish me to weep, you must mourn first yourself. --- Horace (65 BC - 8 BC) The highest reward for man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it. --- John Ruskin (1819 - 1900) Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest. --- Alexandre Dumas ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bob was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Fran: It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christine Maier, 31, Okeechobee, Florida Florida woman arrested after throwing syringes into backseat with child during traffic stop Police officers in Florida said they found three hypodermic needles within arms reach of a toddler Tuesday afternoon during a traffic stop. When a woman in the vehicle was asked how this could happen, she said she panicked when she saw the patrol cars emergency lights and threw the needles in the backseat, according to a Boca Raton police report. Christine Maier, 31, of Okeechobee, told the officer it was a "panicked, stupid, mistake," police said. She remained in the Palm Beach County Jail early Thursday on $3,000 bail on charges of child neglect and possession of drug equipment. On Tuesday afternoon, police noticed a Jeep parked in a handicapped parking spot at the Marathon gas station on Glades Road just east of Town Center at Boca Raton. After a while, another vehicle parked next to it, and a woman, later identified as Maier, walked out of the passenger side of the Jeep. Maier met with a man who was inside the other car, and he handed her a plastic baggie, according to the report. After the two left, the Boca Raton officer noticed the Jeep did not make a full stop at a stop sign and a brake light was out, so the officer pulled the vehicle over. The officer noted he saw Maier make movements with her head and hands as he pulled the Jeep over. The officer wrote when he walked up to the car, he noticed a toddler whose face had a fresh cut on it in the backseat without a car seat. The relationship between the woman and the child is redacted from the report. After the officer took the information from the man driving the Jeep, he said he saw Maier make what appeared to be a "drug transaction" at the gas station and asked if he could search the vehicle. After the man agreed, the officer found three hypodermic needles within arm’s reach of the toddler. A sunglasses case in the front passenger side of the car where Maier was sitting contained two more needles and "a white crystal-like residue." The officer noted one of the needles "had a metal screw in place of a plastic plunger." The officer read the man and Maier their rights. Then the man began yelling at Maier after he saw the needles. Maier told officers she was just getting them for a friend so "he could use them to inject methamphetamines." When asked about the cut on the toddler’s nose, she said the child had fallen the day before. The driver told officers he had no idea about the needles and the only reason he drove Maier from Okeechobee to Boca Raton was because he had just gotten out of jail, and "it’s been a while since I’ve had a girl.” The driver does not appear to have been arrested, according to jail records. The child is in the care of the Florida Department of Children and Families, according to the report. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Patti Re: Laptop keyboard lettering Dear Webby The white lettering on my laptop keyboard is coming off. Is there a way to replace it???? Patti /i> Dear Patti You can try Lettraset and then seal it with a drop of marine spar varnish or clear nail polish. Lettraset is getting hard to find, but I have seen clones of it at the Dollar Store. You could even cut the letters out from a magazine or thin ad flyer, and glue them on with regular white glue. Don't use Crazy Glue. It will stick before you can line up the letter correctly. When the glue is good and dry, you can seal the letter with a drop of clear nail polish. Have FUN! DearWebby
Alex sets up his friend Bob to go on a blind date with his cousin. Bob is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Bob, "I'll be with her all night." "Don't worry," Alex says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake a heart attack." That night Bob knocks at the girl's door. When she comes out he is awe-struck at how hot and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly grabs for her chest and lets out a loud ... "Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Vegetables in an Apartment By guest (Guest Post) Best Answer I have a nice yard but prefer to grow my vegetables on the deck since the deer can't get up there. You can grow snow peas in containers if you give them something to climb on and the leaf lettuces work well. These are spring veggies. When they're done, you can plant something else like green beans in the same containers. Tomatoes work well in pickle buckets as long as they have some support (circular cages will work). You will have to water the tomatoes often. Also, wash out your egg shells and sprinkle them on the soil. They give the tomatoes their needed calcium and help to prevent blossom end rot. You can even grow melons with the roots in containers and the fruit resting on the deck.
- sharp takeoff
____________________________________________________ A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class. Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said, "Did you write this poem all by yourself?" The student said, "Every word of it." The professor said, "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Poe. However, all these books here say you are dead. Since I can not correct all the books about you, .... Which way would you like to die ?" ___________________________________________________
A hidden surprise.
A man spent several hours enduring long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the L.A. Department of Motor Vehicles. On his way home, he stopped to pick up a gift for his son. He selected a baseball bat. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash!" the man snapped, then apologizing for his rudeness, he explained, "I've just spent the entire afternoon at the Motor Vehicle office." "I understand," the clerk replied, and then asked, "Shall I gift wrap the bat, or ... are you going back there...?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 21
1349 3,000 Jews were killed in Black Death riots in Efurt
Germany. 

1556 Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury, was
burned at the stake at Oxford after retracting the last of
seven recantations that same day. 

1788 Almost the entire city of New Orleans, LA, was
destroyed by fire. 856 buildings were destroyed. 

1804 The French civil code, the Code Napoleon, was adopted. 

1824 A fire at a Cairo ammunitions dump killed 4,000 horses.


1835 Charles Darwin & Mariano Gonzales met at Portillo Pass.


1851 Emperor Tu Duc ordered that Christian priests be put to
death. 

1851 Yosemite Valley was discovered in California. 

1857 An earthquake hit Tokyo killing about 107,000. 

1858 British forces in India lift the siege of Lucknow,
ending the Indian Mutiny. 

1871 Journalist Henry M Stanley began his famous expedition
to Africa. 

1902 In New York, three Park Avenue mansions were destroyed
when a subway tunnel roof caved in. 

1908 A passenger was carried in a bi-plane for the first
time by Henri Farman of France. 

1909 Russia withdrew its support for Serbia and recognized
the Austrian annexation of Bosnia-Herzegovina. Serbia
accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-Herzegovina on March
31, 1909. 

1918 During World War I, the Germans launched the Somme
Offensive. 

1925 The state of Tennessee enacted the Butler Act. It was a
law that made it a crime for a teacher in any state-
supported public school to teach any theory that was in
contradiction to the Bible's account of man's creation. 

1928 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge gave the Congressional
Medal of Honor to Charles Lindbergh for his first trans-
Atlantic flight. 

1934 A fire destroyed Hakodate, Japan, killing about 1,500. 

1935 Incubator ambulance service began in Chicago, IL. 

1941 The last Italian post in East Libya, North Africa, fell
to the British. 

1945 During World War II, Allied bombers began four days of
raids over Germany. 

1963 Alcatraz Island, the federal penitentiary in San
Francisco Bay, CA, closed. 

1965 The U.S. launched Ranger 9. It was the last in a series
of unmanned lunar explorations. 

1965 More than 3,000 civil rights demonstrators led by the
Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. began a march from Selma to
Montgomery, AL. 

1966 In New York, demolition work began to clear thirteen
square blocks for the construction of the original World
Trade Center. 

1971 Two U.S. platoons in Vietnam refused their orders to
advance. 

1972 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could not
require one year of residency for voting eligibility. 

1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced to the U.S.
Olympic Team that they would not participate in the 1980
Summer Games in Moscow as a boycott against Soviet
intervention in Afghanistan. 

1984 A Soviet submarine crashed into the USS Kitty Hawk off
the coast of Japan. 

1985 Larry Flynt offered to sell his pornography empire for
$26 million or "Hustler" magazine alone for $18 million. 

1990 Namibia became independent of South Africa. 

1994 Wayne Gretzky tied Gordie Howe's NHL record of 801
goals. 

1994 Bill Gates of Microsoft and Craig McCaw of McCaw
Cellular Communications announced a $9 billion plan that
would send 840 satellites into orbit to relay information
around the globe. 

2002 In Paris, an 1825 print by French inventor Joseph
Nicephore Niepce was sold for $443,220. The print, of a man
leading a horse, was the earliest recorded image taken by
photographic means. 

2016 It was reported that the Kepler space telescope had
captured the visible light of a "shock breakout" when the
star KSN 2011a exploded. It was the first time an exploding
star's brilliant flash shockwave had been captured. 

2017  smiled.


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How to stop a W7 machine from shutting down 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 20

Thanks Joseph!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Drug deal went down in front of 3 officers in 
western Wisconsin 
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 20 in
1816 The U.S. Supreme Court affirmed its right to review
state court decisions. 

Would that mean the Supreme court could overrule Obama`s
college smoking buddy in Hawaii?
It doesn't really mean much since 23 countries won't allow
their nationals to be sent back there if caught committing
crimes and deported. 
Maybe the deportees belonging to those 23 countries would
have to be sent to Guatanamo Bay in Cuba?
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. --- Thomas Pickering (1931 - ) There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. --- Frank Leahy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Drug deal went down in front of 3 officers in western Wisconsin A Drug deal went down in front of 3 officers in western Wisconsin gas station just paces away from Pierce County’s law enforcement center might not be the most inconspicuous place for a drug deal, but prosecutors allege that’s just what a trio of teens did last week. The young men were flanked by officers — including a nine- year veteran of the St. Croix Valley Drug Task Force pumping gas into his squad car — who watched them make the sale of a quarter-pound of marijuana on March 9, according to charges filed in the case. Investigation of the case led investigators to Plum City High School, where a student there allegedly admitted to being behind the sale. The Pierce County Attorney’s Office charged Ellsworth resident Desmond T. Trok, 18; Knapp resident Matthew P. Jones, 18; and Menomonie resident Trace Schofield, 17, with delivering THC, a felony. No charges had yet been filed against the Plum City student and it wasn’t clear Monday if the case received a juvenile referral. Pierce County sheriff’s investigator Marty Shepler was pumping gas into his squad car at 11:55 a.m. when he saw what looked like a drug deal in the nearby parking lot. He watched a brown vehicle back into a parking stall next to a white vehicle. On the other side of the brown vehicle was a Department of Natural Resources warden’s patrol truck. The warden happened to be walking out of the neighboring Pierce County Sheriff’s Office with another deputy during the drug deal. They called it in to dispatchers, who seconds later were alerted by Shepler of the same thing. Shepler and the deputy, Robbie Jaeger, connected over their radios and formulated a plan to conduct a traffic stop on the two vehicles. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Computer keeps shutting down Dear Webby My computer is about 7 years old and running Windows 7. Lately, it has been shutting itself down and restarting, sometimes several tiems a day. What could be causing this problem and is there any way I can correct it? Thank you so much for your advice and help. Chris /i> Dear Chris Most likely your computer is just full of dust bunnies, and overheating. Take the side cover off, vacuum it out with the couch crevice tool, and clean all the heat sinks with Q-tips and Windex or vinegar. Look closely at the fans. If they are dirty, clean them too. Peek into the welded shut box of the power supply. The fan in there might need cleaning too. Don`t try to open that box, just poke in there with Q-tips. After that your machine will run nice and cool and not shut down when it gets too hot. If your computer is sitting on the floor sucking up all the cruising dust bunnies, put it up on blocks! Bricks look nice and traditional, but even some small 2x4 pieces will raise it above the dust bunny freeway. There used to be a shut-down virus many years ago, but if you have Malwarebytes, that would have been killed long ago. Let me know if the cleaning fixed the problem. Have FUN! DearWebby
A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it. "This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it." "What's the curse?" the man asked. "Mr. Klopman...."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Healthy Onion Rings By Terri If you love onion rings but are looking for a healthier option, then try these baked onion rings. Ingredients: non-stick cooking spray 1 large onion 1 1/4 cups Italian style bread crumbs 1/2 tsp. minced fresh garlic 1 cup low fat milk 1 cup all purpose flour 3 large egg whites, beaten slightly Directions: Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray 2 large cookie sheets with nonstick spray. Cut onion into 1/2 inch thick slices. Separate slices into rings. In a small bowl, combine bread crumbs and garlic. Set aside. Place milk, flour, and egg whites into 3 separate small bowls. Dip each onion ring into milk, flour, egg white and bread crumbs (in that same order). Place on prepared cookie sheets and bake for 20 minutes. Turn onion rings over and bake till golden brown, about 10 minutes longer. Because the bread crumbs are last, you don't really need the unhealthy cooking spray. Save that for the rusty lug nuts on your car. Also, don't forget to add salt and pepper to the flour, and just a bit of nutmeg. For the popular beer battered onion rings use beer instead of milk, and add a bit of cream of tartar with the salt and pepper. Have FUN! DearaWebby
this is kind of amazing!
____________________________________________________ CHANGING A LIGHT-BULB... How many members does it take to change a light bulb? Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air. Roman Catholics: None. They use candles. Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off. Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much more they liked the previous one.. Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our annual Light Bulb Sunday Service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three committees to approve the change. Oh, and also a couple to provide a casseroles. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change. Atheists: None. Lightbulbs are just superstition. -------- I liked the baptists, mainly becasue of the casseroles, however, when a girl once tried to convert me and the baptism was discussed, they were looking for a place to anchor me for a week. So I declined and learned to cook casseroles myself. ___________________________________________________
Colorful houses in this tiny Polish village.
>From Judy "I fall in love really quickly and this scares guys away. I'm like, 'I'm in love with you, I want to marry you, I want to move in with you! I want to bear your kids!' They usually reply with such bland and unromatic stuff like, 'Ma'am, just give me the ten bucks for the pizza and I'm outta here.'"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 20
0141 The 6th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
took place. 

1413 Henry V took the throne of England upon the death of
his father Henry IV. 

1525 Paris parliament began its pursuit of Protestants. 

1602 The United Dutch East Indian Company (VOC) was formed. 

1616 Walter Raleigh was released from Tower of London to
seek gold in Guyana. 

1627 France & Spain signed an accord for fighting
Protestantism. 

1739 In India, Nadir Shah of Persia occupied Delhi and took
possession of the Peacock throne. 

1760 The great fire of Boston destroyed 349 buildings. 

1792 In Paris, the Legislative Assembly approved the use of
the guillotine. 

1800 French army defeated the Turks at Helipolis, Turkey,
and advanced into Cairo. 

1814 Prince Willem Frederik became the monarch of
Netherlands. 

1815 Napoleon Bonaparte entered Paris after his escape from
Elba and began his "Hundred Days" rule. 

1816 The U.S. Supreme Court affirmed its right to review
state court decisions. 

1833 The U.S. and Siam signed a commercial treaty. 

1852 Harriet Beecher Stowe’s book "Uncle Tom’s Cabin,"
subtitled "Life Among the Lowly," was first published. 

1854 The Republican Party was organized in Ripon, WI. About
50 slavery opponents began the new political group. 

1865 A plan by John Wilkes Booth to abduct U.S. President
Abraham Lincoln was ruined when Lincoln changed his plans
and did not appear at the Soldier’s Home near Washington,
DC. 

1868 Jesse James Gang robbed a bank in Russelville, KY, of
$14,000. 

1883 The Unity treaty of Paris was signed to protect
industrial property. 

1885 John Matzeliger of Suriname patented the shoe lacing
machine. 

1886 The first AC power plant in the U.S. began commercial
operation. 

1888 The Sherlock Holmes Adventure, "A Scandal in Bohemia,"
began. 

1890 The General Federation of Womans' Clubs was founded. 

1891 The first computing scale company was incorporated in
Dayton, OH. 

1896 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to protect U.S.
citizens in the wake of a revolution. 

1897 The first U.S. orthodox Jewish Rabbinical seminary was
incorporated in New York. 

1897 The first intercollegiate basketball game that used
five players per team was held. The contest was Yale versus
Pennsylvania. Yale won by a score of 32-10. 

1899 At Sing Sing prison, Martha M. Place became the first
woman to be executed in the electric chair. She was put to
death for the murder of her stepdaughter. 

1900 It was announced that European powers had agreed to
keep China's doors open to trade. 

1902 France and Russia acknowledged the Anglo-Japanese
alliance. They also asserted their right to protect their
interests in China and Korea. 

1903 In Paris, paintings by Henri Matisse were shown at the
"Salon des Independants". 

1906 In Russia, army officers mutiny at Sevastopol. 

1911 The National Squash Tennis Association was formed in
New York City. 

1914 The first international figure skating championship was
held in New Haven, CT. 

1915 The French called off the Champagne offensive on the
Western Front. 

1918 The Bolsheviks of the Soviet Union asked for American
aid to rebuild their army. 

1922 U.S. President Warren G. Harding ordered U.S. troops
back from the Rhineland. 

1922 The USS Langley was commissioned. It was the first
aircraft carrier for the U.S. Navy. 

1932 The German dirigible, Graf Zepplin, made the first
flight to South America on regular schedule. 

1933 The first German concentration camp was completed at
Dachau. 

1934 Rudolf Kuhnold gave a demonstration of radar in Kiel
Germany. 

1940 The British Royal Air Force conducted an all-night air
raid on the Nazi airbase at Sylt, Germany. 

1943 The Allies attacked Field Marshall Erwin Rommel's
forces on the Mareth Line in North Africa. 

1947 A blue whale weighing 180-metric tons was caught in the
South Atlantic. 

1952 The U.S. Senate ratified a peace treaty with Japan. 

1956 Mount Bezymianny on Kamchatka Peninsula (USSR)
exploded. 

1956 Tunisia gained independence from France. 

1963 The first "Pop Art" exhibit began in New York City. 

1964 The ESRO (European Space Research Organization) was
established. 

1965 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered 4,000 troops
to protect the Selma-Montgomery civil rights marchers. 

1969 U.S. Senator Edward Kennedy called on the U.S. to close
all bases in Taiwan. 

1972 19 mountain climbers were killed on Japan's Mount Fuji
during an avalanche. 

1976 Patricia Hearst was convicted of armed robbery for her
role in the hold up of a San Francisco Bank. 

1980 The U.S. made an appeal to the International Court
concerning the American Hostages in Iran. 

1981 Argentine ex-president Isabel Peron was sentenced to
eight years in a convent. 

1982 U.S. scientists' returned from Antarctica with the
first land mammal fossils found there. 

1984 The U.S. Senate rejected an amendment to permit spoken
prayer in public schools. 

1985 For the first time in its 99-year history, Avon
representatives received a salary. Up to that time they had
been paid solely on commissions. 

1985 Libby Riddles won the 1,135-mile Anchorage-to-Nome dog
race becoming the first woman to win the Iditarod. 

1987 The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved AZT. The
drug was proven to slow the progress of AIDS (Acquired
Immune Deficiency Syndrome). 

1989 A Washington, DC, district court judge blocked a curfew
imposed by Mayor Barry and the City Council. 

1989 In Belfast, two policemen were killed. The IRA claimed
responsibility. 

1990 Namibia became an independent nation ending 75 years of
South African rule. 

1990 Imelda Marcos, widow of ex-Philippines dictator
Ferdinand Marcos, went on trial for racketeering,
embezzlement and bribery. 

1990 In Rumania, tanks were sent to the town of Tirgu Mures
to quell ethnic riots. 

1991 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled unanimously that employers
could not exclude women from jobs where exposure to toxic
chemicals could potentially damage a fetus. 

1991 The U.S. forgave $2 billion in loans to Poland. 

1992 Janice Pennington was awarded $1.3 million for accident
on the set of the "Price is Right" TV show. 

1993 Russian President Boris Yeltsin declared emergency
rule. He set a referendum on whether the people trusted him
or the hard-line Congress to govern. 

1993 An Irish Republican Army bomb was detonated in
Warrington, England. A 3-year-old boy and a 12-year-old boy
were killed. 

1995 About 35,000 Turkish troops crossed the northern border
of Iraq in pursuit of the separatist rebels of the Kurdistan
Workers Party (PKK). 

1995 In Tokyo, 12 people were killed and more than 5,500
others were sickened when packages containing the nerve gas
Sarin was released on five separate subway trains. The
terrorists belonged to a doomsday cult in Japan. 

1996 In Los Angeles, Erik and Lyle Menendez were found
guilty of first-degree murder in the killing of their
parents. 

1996 The U.K. announced that humans could catch CJD (Mad Cow
Disease). 

1997 Liggett Group, the maker of Chesterfield cigarettes,
settled 22 state lawsuits by admitting the industry marketed
cigarettes to teenagers and agreed to warn on every pack
that smoking is addictive. 

1998 India's new Hindu nationalist-led government pledges to
"exercise the option to induct nuclear weapons." 

1999 Bertrand Piccard and Brian Jones became the first men
to circumnavigate the Earth in a hot air balloon. The non-
stop trip began on March 3 and covered 26,500 miles. 

1999 Legoland California opened Carlsbad, California. 

2000 Former Black Panther Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin, once known
as H. Rap Brown, was captured following a shootout that left
a sherriff's deputy dead. 

2002 Actress Pamela Anderson disclosed that she had
hepatitis C. 

2002 Arthur Andersen pled innocent to charges that it had
shredded documents and deleted computer files related to the
energy company Enron. 

2003 Cisco Systems Inc. announced it was buying The Linksys
Group INc. for $500 million in stock. 

2003 U.S. and British forces invaded Iraq from Kuwait. 

2017  smiled.


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Changing watch batteries 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, March 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Naked Missouri woman sitting on couch when mom 
and young boys come home.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 19 in
1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000
eggs in Yokohama, Japan. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A motion to adjourn is always in order. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers. --- Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The following quiz consists of four questions that tell you whether or not you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for the answers. The questions are not that difficult. You just need to think like a professional. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? * * * * The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether or not you are doing simple things in a complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator ? * * * * Incorrect answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and shut the refrigerator. Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, take out of the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This question tests your foresight. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? * * * * Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator! This tests if you are capable of comprehensive thinking. OK, if you did not answer the last three questions correctly, this one may be your last chance to test your qualifications to be a professional. 4. You have to cross Crocodile River and have no boat or weapon. How do you cross it? * * * * Correct Answer: Simply swim through it. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting! This question tests your reasoning ability. If you answered four out of four questions correctly, you are a true professional. Wealth and success await you. If you answered three out of four, you have some catching up to do but there's hope for you. If you answered two out of four, consider a career as a hamburger flipper in a fast food joint. If you answered one out of four, try selling some of your organs. It's the only way you will ever make any money. If you answered none correctly, consider a career that does not require logic or any higher mental functions at all, such as local politics. ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Jill heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, "Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting." "It was postponed." he replied. "The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate won't let him attend until he finishes doing the laundry." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Catherine Therrell, 55 Pevely, Missouri Naked Missouri woman sitting on couch when mom and young boys come home. A Missouri woman called police last week when she returned home with her two young boys to find a naked woman sitting on their couch, according to KTVI. “I asked her who she was and why she was there and she told me her name was Catherine and she was there for the birthday party,” said Brianna Willey. “And she was definitely dressed for it.” There was no birthday party and the woman was stripped down to her birthday suit, wearing nothing. “I had to ask her to let me in the house because she put the latch on, and she put her clothes on backwards, then she realized her clothes were on backwards, so she proceeded to take them back off as I was standing there,” Willey said. “Officers who later arrived on scene and placed her in custody advised that she was highly intoxicated,” said Cpl. Benjamin Litterall of the Pevely Police Department. This isn’t the first time the woman has crashed someone’s home drunk. The woman, identified as Catherine Therrell, was charged when she crashed her vehicle into a home back in February. In that incident, Therrell narrowly missed hitting a mother and child sitting in the living room watching TV, according to police. Police said Therrell's blood alcohol level was three times the legal limit. She was charged with driving while intoxicated persistent offender and second-degree property damage, with a $10,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jennifer Re: Electric watch battery Dear Webby I know this is not computer or web related, but nobody else can answer me. Is it possible to change the battery in a wrist watch, or are they all just disposable now? There is no clockmaker in the entire valley any more, and I am stuck. Jennifer /i> Dear Jennifer Changing watch batteries is easy, IF you have the right tools. Don't ever attempt to do it by holding the watch in your hand. That is a guarantee that you will stab your hand. You have to use a knife-sharp screwdiver or wood chisel to pry open the back. Noting to it if the watch is held rock-solid in a vise, away from vulnerable hands. Luckily the tools are amazingly cheap. A good watch vise is $8 - $10. A "professional watchmaker's tool kit" is around $60 - $70, but unless you want to change the batteries for everybody in the valley, you will easily get away with a $15 battery-changer's tool kit. You can always add more tools if there is a demand. If you have a decent watch vise, you can improvise on the tools, or use tools you already have. Battery makers, like Energizer, have good on-line instructions for how to change watch batteries. They are almost like a course, and in PDF for easy printing as a manual. An example is at Energizer Watch Battery Replacement Guide If you have problems seeing very small stuff, either get a magnifying glass, or get some kid to help you. It's actually really easy if you can see small stuff, like the + or - on the tiny battery. At Walmart they change batteries on watches bought there, and if you are really good at flirting, they will do it on other watches too. Have FUN! DearWebby
Today's Bonehead reminded me of this story: A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work beer when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Designer Orange Muffins Recipe By Judy Pariser S. [265 Posts, 1,779 Comments] I love recipes that are flexible, and this one has so many options. The muffins freeze well, and you have a quick breakfast that is healthy and inexpensive. Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 12-15 minutes Total Time: 22-25 minutes Yield: 12 Source: Mary Hunt website Ingredients: 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (I used half whole wheat) 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1/2 cup buttermilk (I used 1/2 cup milk and 1/2 tsp. white vinegar) 1 egg 1/4 cup honey (used 1/8 cup stevia) 2 Tbsp butter 2 Tbsp applesauce 1/2 cup peeled and chopped fresh oranges Steps: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease or line a 12-cup muffin tin. In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking powder and baking soda. Mix well. In medium bowl, combine the buttermilk, egg, honey, butter and applesauce. Mix well. Make a well in the dry ingredients, and add the wet ingredients. Then fold in the oranges. Fill the muffin cups 3/4 full. Bake 12-15 minutes. Cool on wire rack. Optional Glaze: 1 cup powdered confectioner's sugar. 1/2 tsp. grated orange zest, and 1 Tbsp. orange juice. Whisk sugar with the zest and juice until smooth. Frost muffins while still warm. There are so many substitutes for everything! Buttermilk: Soy milk, sour cream, regular milk, yogurt, orange juice, apple juice Flour: Can combine whole wheat or cornmeal. You can also substitute up to 1/2 cup cooked bran or rice cereal for 1/2 cup of flour. Honey: maple syrup, white sugar, brown sugar, molasses, frozen apple juice concentrate Butter: oil or margarine Applesauce: pureed fruit or nonfat plain yogurt
Peacock spider
____________________________________________________ The clinic down the road from here finally decided to get a computer. Their bookkeeper was making so many errors, they figured they better get a computer to blame them on. ___________________________________________________
12 most amazing messages in a bottle ever found.
>from Millie: Dear Webby, you are going to get a chuckle outa this: We have always had your Humor Letter on the bulletin board, probably long before I started here. The last two years it was my duty and pleasure to print it and put it up every morning. Because nobody had read the boss's announcements re a picnic on the company anniversary, I was told today that in future all of his announcements be put "right beside the Webby Humor Letter, which seems to be the only part of the bulletin board anybody reads". Millie
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 19
1571 Spanish troops occupied Manila. 

1628 The Massachusetts colony was founded by Englishmen. 

1644 200 members of the Peking imperial family/court
committed suicide. 

1687 French explorer La Salle was murdered by his own men
while searching for the mouth of the Mississippi River, in
the Gulf of Mexico. 

1702 Upon the death of William III of Orange, Anne Stuart,
the sister of Mary, succeeds to the throne of England,
Scotland and Ireland. 

1748 The English Naturalization Act passed granting Jews
right to colonize in the U.S. 

1775 Poland & Prussia signed a trade agreement. 

1831 The first bank robbery in America was reported. The
City Bank of New York City lost $245,000 in the robbery. 

1865 The Battle of Bentonville took place. The Confederates
retreated from Greenville, NC. 

1866 The immigrant ship Monarch of the Seas sank in
Liverpool killing 738. 

1879 Jim Currie opened fire on the actors Maurice Barrymore
and Ben Porter near Marshall, TX. The shots wounded
Barrymore and killed Porter. 

1895 The Los Angeles Railway was established to provide
streetcar service. 

1900 U.S. President McKinley asserted that there was a need
for free trade with Puerto Rico. 

1900 Archeologist Arthur John Evans began the excavation of
Knossos Palace in Greece. 

1903 The U.S. Senate ratified the Cuban treaty, gaining
naval bases in Guantanamo and Bahia Honda. 

1905 French explorer S. de Segonzac was taken prisoner by
Moroccans. 

1906 Reports from Berlin estimated the cost of the German
war in S.W. Africa at $150 million. 

1908 The state of Maryland barred Christian Scientists from
practicing without medical diplomas. 

1915 Pluto was photographed for the first time. However, it
was not known at the time. 

1917 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the Adamson Act that made
the eight-hour workday for railroads constitutional. 

1918 The U.S. Congress approved Daylight-Saving Time. 

1918 A German seaplane was shot down for the first time by
an American pilot. 

1920 The U.S. Senate rejected the Versailles Treaty for the
second time maintaining an isolation policy. 

1924 U.S. troops were rushed to Tegucigalpa as rebel forces
took the Honduran capital. 

1931 The state of Nevada legalized gambling. 

1945 About 800 people were killed as Japanese kamikaze
planes attacked the U.S. carrier Franklin off Japan. 

1945 Adolf Hitler issued his "Nero Decree" which ordered the
destruction of German facilities that could fall into Allied
hands as German forces were retreating. 

1947 Chiang Kai-Shek's government forces took control of
Yenan, the former headquarters of the Chinese Communist
Party. 

1948 Lee Savold knocked out Gino Buonvino in 54 seconds of
the first round of their prize fight at Madison Square
Gardens. 

1949 The Soviet People's Council signed the constitution of
the German Democratic Republic, and declared that the North
Atlantic Treaty was merely a war weapon. 

1953 Tennessee Williams' "Camino Real" premiered in New York
City. 

1954 Viewers saw the first televised prize fight shown in
color when Joey Giardello knocked out Willie Tory in round
seven at Madison Square Garden in New York City. 

1954 The first rocket-driven sled that ran on rails was
tested in Alamogordo, NM. 

1963 In Costa Rica, U.S. President John F. Kennedy and six
Latin American presidents pledged to fight Communism. 

1964 Sean Connery began shooting his role in "Goldfinger." 

1965 Indonesia nationalized all foreign oil companies. 

1965 Rembrandt's "Titus" sold for $7,770,000. 

1968 Students at Howard University seized an administration
building. 

1969 British invaded Anguilla. 

1972 India and Bangladesh signed a friendship treaty. 

1976 Buckingham Palace announced the separation of Princess
Margaret and her husband, the Earl of Snowdon, after 16
years of marriage. 

1977 Congo President Marien Ngouabi was killed by a suicide
commando. 

1977 France performed a nuclear test at Muruora Island. 

1984 A Mobile oil tanker spilled 200,000 gallons into the
Columbia River. 

1985 IBM announced that it was planning to stop making the
PCjr consumer-oriented computer. 

1985 The U.S. Senate voted to authorize production of the MX
missile. 

1987 Televangelist Jim Bakker resigned from the PTL due to a
scandal involving Jessica Hahn. 

1988 Two British soldiers were killed by mourners at a
funeral in Belfast, North Ireland. The soldiers were shot to
death after being dragged from a car and beaten. 

1990 Latvia's political opposition claimed victory in the
republic's first free elections in 50 years. 

1990 The first world ice hockey tournament for women was
held in Ottawa. 

1991 Brett Hull, of the St. Louis Blues, became the third
National Hockey League (NHL) player to score 80 goals in a
season. 

1994 The largest omelet in history was made with 160,000
eggs in Yokohama, Japan. 

1998 The World Health Organization warned of tuberculosis
epidemic that could kill 70 million people in next two
decades. 

1999 53 people were killed and dozens were injured when a
bomb exploded in a market place in southern Russia. 

2000 Vector Data Systems conducted a simulation of the 1993
Branch Davidian siege in Waco, TX. The simulation showed
that the government had not fired first. 

2001 California officials declared a power alert and ordered
the first of two days of rolling blackouts. 

2002 Operation Anaconda, the largest U.S.-led ground
offensive since the Gulf War, ended in eastern Afghanistan.
During the operation, which began on March 2, it was
reported that at least 500 Taliban and al Qaeda fighters
were killed. Eleven allied troops were killed during the
same operation. 

2003 U.S. President George W. Bush announced that U.S.
forces had launched a strike against "targets of military
opportunity" in Iraq. The attack, using cruise missiles and
precision-guided bombs, were aimed at Iraqi leaders thought
to be near Baghdad. 

2015 Apple replaced AT&T in the Dow Jones Industrial
Average. 

2017  smiled.


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How to use STRIPMAIL 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, March 18

Happy St Patrick Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Indiana man arrested for sleeping in his car 
Wednesday night with meth lab components and guns.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 18 in
1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood of
the Mississippi River.  
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A graduate in economics who completed his degree in the 1950's returned to his old university for a visit. He was amazed to see that the examination questions were identical to the ones asked in his day. When he pointed this out to a member of staff, the reply was, "That's true, but since Economics is the science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions made yesterday did not occur today, the answers are quite different now." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Signs seen around the World Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. Doctors office, Rome: SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES. In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. (and the sign is very hard to read) A sign seen on an automatic restroom hot air hand dryer: Push button for a brief messge from the manager. Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED. Hotel elevator, Paris: PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK. Hotel, Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID. Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID. An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS. A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chad Kiser, 42, Fremont, Indiana Indiana man arrested for sleeping in his car Wednesday night with meth lab components and guns. Coldwater Police arrested a man, Chad Kiser, 42, found sleeping in his car Wednesday night with meth lab components and guns. Officer Sean Meyer was asked to check the man who was sleeping there for five hours. As Kiser opened the car door, in the lot at 186 E. Chicago St., the officer saw a .22 pistol. Kiser admitted he did not have a concealed carry permit. The officer also spotted several knives, plus a meth pipe, on the floor. When backup arrived, the officer located two white plastic trash bags behind the driver's seat filled with meth lab components. A meth hazard disposal team was called to remove the materials. Kiser, of Fremont, Indiana, said he was waiting for his daughter. He had an expired driver's license. Kiser was charged with two 20-year felonies, possession of hazardous meth lab materials and possession of a meth lab. Possession of pseudoephedrine used to make meth, possession of a concealed weapon — five year felonies. He was also charged with possession of a weapon during the commission of a felony — a two-year offense. Preliminary proceedings were ordered. His bond was set at $250,000. Kiser has felony convictions from Steuben County, Indiana for stolen property and possession of a sawed off shotgun. Police also recovered a number of long guns from his trunk. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: James Re: StripMail Dear Webby Greatly appreciate the prompt reply. I, as well as four of my friends, have tried to get this download to work to no avail. Am I missing something? James /i> It does work, quite nicely, but it is one of those nasty programs that require you to read the instructions. Yes, I agree, that's quite sneaky of them. Especially sneaky since their instructions are a lot longer than mine usually are. OK, here is what you do: 1) make a shortcut icon to Stripmail and drag it onto the desktop. 2) When you need to strip some mail, then in the mail hit CTRL A CTRL C to copy it all. 3) Jump into stripmail and click on the PASTE button on top. That will paste the mail (and overwrite the instructions) 4) Click on STRIP to strip the >>> stuff 5) Click on COPY and jump back to your mail. 6) CTRL A to select the old version, CTRL V to overwrite the selection with the stripped mail. Next time you use it, the instructions will be there again. Have FUN! DearWebby
A beautiful young lady arrived breathlessly at the church, jsut as the congregation was rushing to their cars. "Is - m - ass - out?" she panted to one of the slower dowagers. "No, child, but your skirt IS a little short," she replied.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses for Whey By Judy Pariser S. [265 Posts, 1,775 Comments] Now that I'm making yogurt, I always have whey leftover. It can be used to replace liquid in baking, diluted for watering plants, as a starter for yogurt, as an addition to pet food,and can be added to the compost pile. You can freeze whey and use as needed. Source: Read online - various sources
Freight Train (I grew up with this version, Dad worked for the railroad and I loved all things "train.")
____________________________________________________ College student: "Hey, Dad! I've got some great news for you!" Father: "What, son?" College student: "Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean's list?" Father: "I certainly do." College student: "Well, you get to keep it!" ___________________________________________________
Talented master craftsman creating pottery and ceramics pieces.
A millionaire miser has died and is completing his interview with Saint Peter. To avoid distractions, he was sitting in a bare and rather uncomfortable interview booth. At the conclusion of the interview, St. Peter asks if he has any questions. The man replies, "Yes, I'd heard as a youth that in Heaven one of your seconds was like a thousand years for us, and that a penny was like a billion dollars. Is that true?" He was getting kinda giddy at the calculations in his head. St. Peter answered, "Yes, that is certainly is true." The millionaire handed him a ten dollar bill with a big grin, asking for its worth. St Peter took the bill from him, smiled and said "Well, since you are still on the outside, the exchange rate works against you. I'll have to crank up the big computer to figure out if we have anything that small. Just wait in that interview booth, I'll be back in few minutes."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 18
0037 The Roman Senate annuls Tiberius’ will and proclaims
Caligula emperor. 

1123 The first Lateran Council (9th ecumenical council)
opened in Rome. 

1190 Crusaders killed 57 Jews in Bury St. Edmonds England. 

1532 The English parliament banned payments by English
church to Rome. 

1541 Hernando de Soto observed the first recorded flood of
the Mississippi River. 

1583 Dutch States General & Anjou signed a treaty. 

1673 Lord Berkley sold his half of New Jersey to the
Quakers. 

1692 William Penn was deprived of his governing powers. 

1766 Britain repealed the Stamp Act. 

1813 David Melville patented the gas streetlight. 

1818 The U.S. Congress approved the first pensions for
government service. 

1834 The first railroad tunnel in the U.S. was completed.
The work was in Pennsylvania. 

1835 Charles Darwin left Santiago Chile on his way to
Portillo Pass. 

1850 Henry Wells & William Fargo founded American Express. 

1865 The Congress of the Confederate States of America
adjourned for the last time. 

1874 Hawaii signed a treaty giving exclusive trading rights
with the islands to the U.S. 

1881 Barnum and Bailey's Greatest Show on Earth opened in
Madison Square Gardens. 

1891 Britain became linked to the continent of Europe by
telephone. 

1899 Phoebe, a moon of the planet Saturn, was discovered. 

1900 Ajax (Amsterdam Football Club) was formed. 

1902 In Turkey, the Sultan granted a German syndicate the
first concession to access Baghdad by rail. 

1903 France dissolved the Catholic religious orders. 

1909 Einar Dessau of Denmark used a short wave transmitter
to become the first person to broadcast as a "ham" operator.


1911 Theodore Roosevelt opened the Roosevelt Dam in Arizona.
It was the largest dam in the U.S. at the time. 

1911 North Dakota enacted a hail insurance law. 

1913 Greek King George I was killed by an assassin.
Constantine I succeeded him. 

1916 Russia countered the Verdun assault with an attack at
Lake Naroch. The Russians lost 100,000 men and the Germans
lost 20,000. 

1917 The Germans sank the U.S. ships, City of Memphis,
Vigilante and the Illinois, without any warning. 

1919 The Order of DeMolay was established in Kansas City. 

1920 Greece adopted the Gregorian calendar. 

1921 Poland was enlarged with the second Peace of Riga. 

1921 The steamer "Hong Koh" ran aground off of Swatow China.
Over 1,000 people were killed. 

1922 Mohandas K. Gandhi was sentenced to six years in prison
for civil disobedience in India. He served only 2 years of
the sentence. 

1931 Schick Inc. displayed the first electric shaver. 

1937 More than 400 people, mostly children, were killed in a
gas explosion at a school in New London, TX. 

1938 Mexico took control of all foreign-owned oil properties
on its soil. 

1938 New York first required serological blood tests of
pregnant women. 

1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini held a meeting at the
Brenner Pass. The Italian dictator agreed to join in
Germany's war against France and Britain during the meeting.


1942 The third military draft began in the U.S. because of
World War II. 

1943 The Reich called off its offensive in Caucasus. 

1943 American forces took Gafsa in Tunisia. 

1944 The Russians reached the Rumanian border in the Balkans
during World War II. 

1945 1,250 U.S. bombers attacked Berlin. 

1945 Maurice "Rocket" Richard became the first National
Hockey League (NHL) player to score 50 goals. 

1948 France, Great Britain, and Benelux signed the Treaty of
Brussels. 

1949 The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) was
ratified. 

1950 Nationalist troops landed on the mainland of China and
capture Communist held Sungmen. 

1952 In Philadelphia, PA, the first plastic lenses were
fitted for a cataract patient. 

1953 An earthquake hit West Turkey killing 250 people. 

1954 RKO Pictures was sold for $23,489,478. It became the
first motion picture studio to be owned by an individual.
The person was Howard Hughes. 

1959 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Hawaii statehood
bill. 

1962 French and Algerian rebels agreed to a truce. 

1963 France performed an underground nuclear test at Ecker
Algeria. 

1963 The U.S. Supreme Court handed down the Miranda decision
concerning legal council for defendants. 

1965 Cosmonaut Alexei Leonov became the first man to
spacewalk when he left the Voskhod II space capsule while in
orbit around the Earth. He was outside the spacecraft for
about 20 minutes. 

1966 The government of Indonesia was formed by General
Suharto. 

1966 Scott Paper began selling paper dresses for $1. 

1968 The U.S. Congress repealed the requirement for a gold
reserve. 

1969 U.S. President Nixon authorizes Operation Menue. It was
the ‘secret’ bombing of Cambodia. Cambodians noticed.

1970 The U.S. Postal Service experienced the first postal
strike. 

1971 U.S. helicopters airlifted 1,000 South Vietnamese
soldiers out of Laos. 

1971 A landslide in Lake Yanahuani, Chungar Peru, killed
200. 

1974 Most of the Arab oil-producing nations ended their
five-month embargo against the United States, Europe and
Japan. 

1975 Saigon abandoned most of the Central Highlands of
Vietnam to Hanoi. 

1975 The Kurds ended their fight against Iraq. 

1977 Vietnam turned over an MIA to a U.S. delegation. 

1980 The Vostok rocket exploded on the launch pad killing
50. 

1981 The U.S. disclosed that there were biological weapons
tested in Texas in 1966. 

1986 Buckingham Palace announced the engagement of Prince
Andrew to Sarah Ferguson. 

1986 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that a clear,
polyester thread was to be woven into bills in an effort to
thwart counterfeiters. 

1987 The U.S. performed nuclear tests at a Nevada test site.

1990 Thirteen paintings were stolen from the Isabella
Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston. The value was $100 million
making it the largest art robbery in history. 

1989 A 4,400-year-old mummy was discovered at the Pyramid of
Cheops in Egypt. 

1990 The first free elections took place in East Germany. 

1990 In Tampa, FL, a little league player was killed after
being hit with a pitch. 

1992 Leona Hemsly was sentenced to 4 years in prison for tax
evasion. 

1992 White South Africans voted for constitutional reforms
that would give legal equality to blacks. 

1994 Zsa Zsa Gabor filed for bankruptcy. 

1997 A Russian AN-24 crashed killing 50 people. 

2003 China's new president, Hu Jintao, announced that his
country must deepen reforms and raise living standards of
workers and farmers.

2017  smiled.


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GIF versus JPG 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, March 17
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Happy St Patrick Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Daycare worker pushes 4 year old girl to fall down the
stairs, then she sees the new security camera.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 16 in
1884 In Otay, California, John Joseph Montgomery made the
first manned, controlled, heavier-than-air glider flight in
the United States. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) Virtue is choked with foul ambition. --- William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in the drink. A dozen times the olive bounced away. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick. "Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive. "Big Deal," muttered. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sarah Gable, 52, Delaware Country, Pennsylvania Daycare worker pushes 4 year old girl to fall down the stairs, then she sees the new security camera. Sarah Gable had been an employee of Childcare of the Future in Delaware Country, Pennsylvania for about a year. Before that, the 52-year-old had a long career, working at least 25 years in childcare. However, as ABC 6 reports, she was fired from her latest job on March 3. Shawayne Tavares, the daycare's administrator, was monitoring the center's newly installed security camera when she watched Gable push four-year-old Alayah Humphrey down the steps. The video shows Gable walking down the steps to help Humphrey back on her feet, before looking directly into the camera. The security camera had just been installed before the incident took place. Tavares told CBS Philly that as soon as she saw the incident occur, she confronted Gable: “I said, ‘What are you doing? We don’t do this to children.’” Once the police were notified, Gable was fired, arrested and charged with simple assault and child endangerment. Neither Gable nor her attorney have commented on the incident. She was released from jail on a $25,000 secured bond. A motive as to why she pushed Humphrey down the stairs is not yet known. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Corey Re: GIF versus JPG Dear Webby What's better, GIF or JPG ? JPG pictures look a lot better, but now I was told to always make all catalog pictures in GIF format. What is the reason for that? Corey /i> GIF has a color depth of 256. Believe it or not, at one time that was drool-slobber far out, compared to 16 colors. JPG can show up to 16 MILLION colors, and JPG pictures can easily be compressed. If you don't compress them too much, JPG pictures look nicer. However, the compression is "lossy" and can not be reversed. Every time you save an edit, you wash out more color depth and eventually wind up with a washed out and very bland picture. In addition to that, JPG pictures grow coronas and accumulate fuzz. Never edit in JPG format. Use PSP or PNG format for editing, and save to JPG format just before uploading. Oldfashioned GIF does have several advantages. One is that GIF pictures don't degrade. Another is that you can use transparent sections that are reliably transparent on all browsers and all viewers. And you can make animations that work predictably. The reason that GIF is the favorite for catalog makers is because of the ability to make transparencies. You can make the background transparent and the item appear to float on the page. Have FUN! DearWebby
Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. "This I've got to see," I thought. They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Soot From Candle Jars By guest (Guest Post) Best Answer The absolute easiest way to clean the soot from a candle jar is to wipe a dry used fabric softener sheet on the glass. This tip was posted on ThriftyFun and I have had fantastic results. Now we don't toss the used fabric softener sheets!
so you want to take a cruise?
____________________________________________________ A few women were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said, "My husband just won't go to church with me, I think he's going to go to Hell." This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in Hell. So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said, "I try to be good - I'm sure I'll make it to Heaven." Another one said "No, I did this bad thing, I won't make it unless I mend my ways, I better start soon." At this point they noticed that one of the ladies (the only single women in the group, and a blonde, mind you) wasn't saying anything. They turned to her and said, "You're such a nice lady, surely you'll be going to Heaven?" She says, "No way! In fact, first thing in the morning, I'm going to buy me a ticket straight to Hell!" They were shocked and asked, "Why??" "Well, you don't expect me to live in a world without men, do you??!?" ___________________________________________________
Very pretty glass blown animal sculptures.
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 17
0461 Bishop Patrick, St. Patrick, died in Saul. Ireland
celebrates this day in his honor. 

1756 St. Patrick's Day was celebrated in New York City for
the first time. The event took place at the Crown and
Thistle Tavern. 

1766 Britain repealed the Stamp Act that had caused
resentment in the North American colonies. 

1776 British forces evacuated Boston and fled to Nova Scotia
during the Revolutionary War. 

1868 Postage stamp canceling machine patent was issued. 

1884 In Otay, California, John Joseph Montgomery made the
first manned, controlled, heavier-than-air glider flight in
the United States. 

1886 20 Blacks were killed in the Carrollton Massacre in
Mississippi. 

1891 The British steamer Utopia sank off the coast of
Gibraltar. 

1901 In Paris, Vincent Van Gogh's paintings were shown at
the Bernheim Gallery. 

1909 In France, the communications industry was paralyzed by
strikes. 

1910 The Camp Fire Girls organization was founded by Luther
and Charlotte Gulick. It was formally presented to the
public exactly 2 years later. 

1914 Russia increased the number of active duty military
from 460,000 to 1,700,000. 

1930 Al Capone was released from jail. 

1930 In New York, construction began on the Empire State
Building. Excavation at the site began on January 22. 

1942 Douglas MacArthur became the Supreme Commander of the
Allied forces in the Southwestern Pacific. 

1944 During World War II, the U.S. bombed Vienna back into
the stone age. 

1950 Scientists at the University of California at Berkeley
announced that they had created a new radioactive element.
They named it "californium". It is also known as element 98.


1958 The Vanguard 1 satellite was launched by the U.S. 

1959 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) fled
Tibet and went to India. 

1961 The U.S. increased military aid and technicians to
Laos. 

1962 Moscow asked the U.S. to pull out of South Vietnam. 

1966 A U.S. submarine found a missing H-bomb in the
Mediterranean off of Spain. 

1969 Golda Meir was sworn in as the fourth premier of
Israel. 

1970 The U.S. Army charged 14 officers with suppression of
facts in the My Lai massacre case. 

1972 U.S. President Nixon asked Congress to halt busing in
order to achieve desegregation. 

1973 Twenty were killed in Cambodia when a bomb went off
that was meant for the Cambodian President Lon Nol. 

1973 The first American prisoners of war (POWs) were
released from the "Hanoi Hilton" in Hanoi, North Vietnam. 

1982 In El Salvador, four Dutch television crewmembers were
killed by government troops. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan agreed to a joint study with
Canada on acid rain. 

1989 A series of solar flares caused a violent magnetic
storm that brought power outages over large regions of
Canada. 

1992 In Buenos Aires, 10 people were killed in a suicide
car-bomb attack against the Israeli embassy. 

1992 White South Africans approved constitutional reforms to
give legal equality to blacks. 

1995 Gerry Adams became the first leader of Sinn Fein to be
received at the White House. 

1998 Washington Mutual announced it had agreed to buy H.F.
Ahmanson and Co. for $9.9 billion dollars. The deal created
the nation's seventh-largest banking company. 

1999 A panel of medical experts concluded that marijuana had
medical benefits for people suffering from cancer and AIDS. 

1999 The International Olympic Committee expelled six of its
members in the wake of a bribery scandal. 

2000 In Norway, Jens Stotenberg and the Labour Party took
office as Prime Minister. The coalition government of Kjell
Magne Bondevik resigned on March 9 as a result of an
environmental dispute. 

2000 In Kanungu, Uganda, a fire at a church linked to the
cult known as the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten
Commandments killed more than 530. On March 31, officials
set the number of deaths linked to the cult at more than 900
after authorities subsequently found mass graves at various
sites linked to the cult. 

2004 NASA's Messenger became the first spacecraft to enter
into orbit around Mercury. The probe took more than 270,000
pictures before it crashed into the surface of Mercury on
April 30, 2015. 

2007 Mike Modano (Dallas Stars) scored his 502nd and 503rd
career goals making him the all-time U.S. leader in goal-
scoring. 

2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 800 million applications
downloaded. 

2017  smiled.


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Get rid of automatically starting programs 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Mother clobbered man, who pulled toddler’s diaper down
and tried to sodomize her at Missouri playground
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 16 in
1190 The Crusaders began the massacre of Jews in York,
 England. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. --- Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An unemployed actor is getting pretty desperate for work. He happens upon this guy that needs actors for a zoo that couldn't get the permits to import a new ape. The actor thinks that this is stupid, but he takes the job anyway. He gets bored and decides to walk around and examine his cage. With this, he notices that people are watching his every move. He decides to give them a show. Soon, he is swinging on the poles and dancing around making a lot of gorilla noises and is drawing quite a crowd. One day, he is showing off for a group of kids. He is swinging around and around a pole, when all of a sudden, his hand slips and he goes flying over the cage wall and right into the lion's pit. Immediately the lion is stalking him. The actor backs up as far as he can, and when he sees no other option, he start screaming "HELP !" With that, the lions growls. "Shut up, you idiot, or you'll get us all fired!" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went. While walking he met a fair young lady. She told him she was lost, and asked, "Can you tell me how to get to 5 Bird Lane?" The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I could go visit my brother at 16 Bird Lane. Let's take a short cut and go down this alley. We'll save half the time to get there". The fair young lady said, "How do I know that when we get into the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull down my skirt and ravish me?" The farmer said, "I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, 2 chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?" The young lady said, "That's easy! Set the goose down, put the bucket over the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the silly chickens!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William L. Bates Jr., 24, Kansas City, Missouri Mother clobbered man, who pulled toddler’s diaper down and tried to sodomize her at Missouri playground A Missouri man is in custody and faces multiple charges after he allegedly assaulted a 2-year-old girl at a playground in Kansas City, Missouri, on Friday. William L. Bates Jr., 24, of Kansas City, is charged with first-degree attempted sodomy, and attempted statutory sodomy with a person less than 12 years old, according to KTLA sister station WDAF. A 2-year-old girl was playing on a swing at Kemp Playground near Ninth and Harrison streets when Bates began “eyeballing” her children, the girl’s mother told police. The mother said Bates then walked up behind the girl and snatched her off the swing before grabbing the toddler by the hips and pulling her diaper down. The mother said she saw Bates lift his shirt, take his pants down and begin thrusting against her daughter. Police said the girl’s mother ran at Bates and knocked him to the ground, pummeling him with her fists while he was down. Bates eventually managed to get away and run from the park, but the child’s mother ran to reStart, a nearby homeless shelter, and called police. Officers arrested Bates near the playground, and found he was carrying marijuana and an unidentified white vial of fluid with a chemical odor, according to the arrest report. The mother later identified Bates from a police photo as the attacker. At the Jackson County Detention Center, Bates told police he had gotten a cigarette from someone near the park and doesn’t remember anything of the incident until he awoke inside a fenced in area and was taken into custody by police. Bates’s bond is set at $150,000 cash only. He was scheduled to appear in court on Monday. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Control automatically starting programs Dear Webby I always check the ccleaner Startup Tool. Find a bunch of crap leftover from uninstalls some times or obnoxious apps... ie google updates. others too. And also go to the Process section of Task Manager to End Job if not needed... Backup crap has gotten terrible with the cloud or auto backups. Then the Services section in Task Manager has more of the same crap - so can STOP many of the unwanted junk. Oddly, ccleaner now starts on own. Even if removed. My Sys Mechanic does a check for unwanted start ups, and always finds ccleaner. Sometimes two of them. Moe /i> There you have it from the real Expert. Moe has been tweaking since fence wire dial-up and if he is not tweaking his and his inlaws machines, he is reading about tweaks. CrapCleaner is in the Tool Box, and also in the side menu. Have FUN! DearWebby
>From Deeli On my 15th birthday, I opened a package from my mom and sister. Out came a beauty case containing samples of my very own makeup... "Oh, neat," my dad said excitedly, "a tackle box!" My mother and sister explained that it was a beauty kit, not a tackle box. As I proceeded to open the beauty case and showed everyone the eye shadow, mascara, and rouge, my father leaned over to my mother and whispered, "I told you it was a tackle box. Just look at all those lures."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Soot From Candle Jars By guest (Guest Post) Best Answer The absolute easiest way to clean the soot from a candle jar is to wipe a dry used fabric softener sheet on the glass. This tip was posted on ThriftyFun and I have had fantastic results. Now we don't toss the used fabric softener sheets!
little girl learns the Italian way to use her hands while talking
____________________________________________________ Six-year-old called mother from Charlie's house and confessed that a lamp had been broken by throwing a ball in their living room. "But, Mom," said, brightening, "you don't have to worry about buying another one. Charlie's mother said it was irreplaceable." ___________________________________________________
Renovating an 18th century neoclassical French chateau with 96 rooms.
"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school teacher. "He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny. "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher. "He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny. "Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Little Johnny answered, "One half brother and two half sisters."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 16
1190 The Crusaders began the massacre of Jews in York,
England. 

1521 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the
Philippines. He was killed the next month by natives. 

1527 The Emperor Babur defeated the Rajputs at the Battle of
Kanvaha in India. 

1621 Samoset walked into the settlement of Plymouth Colony,
later Plymouth, MA. Samoset was a native from the Monhegan
tribe in Maine who spoke English. 

1882 The U.S. Senate approved a treaty allowing the United
States to join the Red Cross. 

1907 The world's largest cruiser, the British Invincible was
completed at Glasgow. 

1908 China released the Japanese steamship Tatsu Maru. 

1909 Cuba suffered its first revolt only six weeks after the
inauguration of Gomez. 

1913 The 15,000-ton battleship Pennsylvania was launched at
Newport News, VA. 

1915 The Federal Trade Commission began operation. 

1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated his throne. 

1926 Physicist Robert H. Goddard launched the first liquid-
fuel rocket. 

1928 The U.S. planned to send 1,000 more Marines to
Nicaragua. 

1935 Adolf Hitler ordered a German rearmament and violated
the Versailles Treaty. 

1939 Germany occupied the rest of Czechoslovakia. 

1945 Iwo Jima was declared secure by the Allies. However,
small pockets of Japanese resistance still existed. 

1946 Algerian nationalist leader Ferhat Abbas was freed
after spending a year in jail. 

1947 Martial law was withdrawn in Tel Aviv. 

1950 Congress voted to remove federal taxes on
oleomargarine. 

1968 U.S. troops in Vietnam destroyed a village consisting
mostly of women and children. The event is known as the My-
Lai massacre. 

1978 Italian politician Aldo Moro was kidnapped by left-wing
urban guerrillas. Moro was later murdered by the group. 

1982 Russia announced they would halt their deployment of
new nuclear missiles in Western Europe. 

1984 Mozambique and South Africa signed a pact banning the
support for one another's internal enemies. 

1984 William Buckley, the CIA station chief in Beirut, was
kidnapped by gunmen. He died while in captivity. 

1985 "A Chorus Line" played its 4,000 performance. 

1985 Terry Anderson, an Associated Press newsman, was taken
hostage in Beirut. He was released in December 4, 1991. 

1988 Indictments were issued for Lt. Colonel Oliver North,
Vice Admiral John Poindexter of the National Security
Council, and two others for their involvement in the Iran-
Contra affair. 

1988 Mickey Thompson and his wife Trudy were shot to death
in their driveway. Thompson, known as the "Speed King," set
nearly 500 auto speed endurance records including being the
first person to travel more than 400 mph on land. 

1989 In the U.S.S.R., the Central Committee approved
Gorbachev's agrarian reform plan. 

1989 The Soviet Communist Party's Central Committee approved
large-scale agricultural reforms and elected the party's 100
members to the Congress of People's Deputies. 

1993 In France, ostrich meat was officially declared fit for
human consumption. 

1994 Tonya Harding pled guilty in Portland, OR, to
conspiracy to hinder prosecution for covering up the attack
on her skating rival Nancy Kerrigan. She was fined $100,000.
She was also banned from amateur figure skating. 

1994 Russia agreed to phase out production of weapons-grade
plutonium. 

1995 NASA astronaut Norman Thagard became the first American
to visit the Russian space station Mir. 

1998 Rwanda began mass trials for 1994 genocide with 125,000
suspects for 500,000 murders. 

1999 The 20 members of the European Union's European
Commission announced their resignations amid allegations of
corruption and financial mismanagement.

2017  smiled.


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Control automatically starting programs 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Liar, Liar, Pants on fire!
Miami lawyer’s pants erupt in flames during arson trial
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 15 in
44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high
ranking Roman Senators. Thw Oracle had told him to watch it
on the "Ides of March." 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. --- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972) Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper. --- Francis Bacon Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people. --- Philip Guedalla ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead, just when headquarters initiated a call to him. Immediately, he jumped into a jeep and ordered a sergeant to speed to the command station. When the major and the sergeant ran in, the group cheered their arrival. The commanding officer then stepped forward and shook the major's hand. "Don't congratulate me, sir," he said modestly as he pointed to his driver. "It was all the sergeant's doing." The commanding officer nodded and turned to the sergeant. "Congratulations," he deadpanned without so much as a smirk. "The major's wife just had a baby girl." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A man sat at a bar, drinking slowly. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. The bartender asked, "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?" The man said, "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month." The bartender said, "That should make you happy!" The man said, "It did. Unfortunately, the month is up today!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Gutierrez, 28, the lawyer Claudy Charles, 48, the arsonist Miami, Florida Liar, Liar, Pants on fire! Miami lawyer’s pants erupt in flames during arson trial A Miami defense lawyer’s pants burst into flames Wednesday afternoon as he began his closing arguments in front of a jury — in an arson case. Stephen Gutierrez, who was arguing that his client’s car spontaneously combusted and was not intentionally set on fire, had been fiddling in his pocket as he was about to address jurors when smoke began billowing out his right pocket, witnesses told the Miami Herald. He rushed out of the Miami courtroom, leaving spectators stunned. After jurors were ushered out, Gutierrez returned unharmed, with a singed pocket, and insisted it wasn’t a staged defense demonstration gone wrong, observers said. Instead, Gutierrez blamed a faulty battery in an e- cigarette, witnesses told the Miami Herald. “It was surreal,” one observer told the Miami Herald. Repeated calls to Gutierrez’s cellphone went unanswered. Miami-Dade police and prosecutors are now investigating the episode. Officers seized several frayed e-cigarette batteries as evidence. “A lot of people could have been hurt,” another observer in court told the Miami Herald. Gutierrez was representing Claudy Charles, 48, who is accused of intentionally setting his car on fire in South Miami-Dade. He had just started his closing arguments when the fire broke out. Jurors convicted Charles anyway of second-degree arson. Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Michael Hanzman, in the coming days, could decide to hold Gutierrez in contempt of court. The 28-year-old lawyer graduated from Florida International University’s law school in 2015. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Randy Re: Control automatically starting programs Dear Webby I have way too many things starting up automatically and running in the background. How do I control what starts up automatically and what I have to start manually if and when I need it? Thanks Randy /i> Dear Randy The best way to prevent a program from running at Startup, is to check the program's own options for a way to prevent this. Most good quality programs will provide an option for this. If you can't find the option there, click Start, Run and type MSCONFIG Go to the Startup tab, and uncheck the item there. This method is not always 100% successful. An example is a program that you do use, but you don't want running automatically. Some programs will check to see if the program's own options say it should run at Startup. If the program thinks its supposed to load at startup, it will re-create the autorun entry. While MSCONFIG works, it's typical Microsoft. The information it gives you is maybe understandable to some Windows programmers, but is just a bunch of weird words for most people. A rainy weekend spent on google will help you make a list of what each of those weird things do. THEN you can make an informed decision about what is safe to disable. An alternative is to use the tools in Spybot-Search&Destroy from the right side menu. It is not only a lot more descriptive about the programs, but it won't let you disable anything that is required to be running. Have FUN! DearWebby
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. Little Johnny said, "Well . . . every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ! Are you still in there?!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Apple Pie for Pi Day By Jackie H. [227 Posts, 107 Comments]Pi Day (3/14) is an annual celebration of the mathematical constant Pi (3.14159...) Ingredients: 1 3 lb. bag apples, peeled, cored, sliced thin 1 bottom pie crust 1 roll pie crust, for top crust 2 Tbsp flour 1 Tbsp cinnamon dash of salt 1/4 cup sugar 2 Tbsp butter, cut into small cubes 1 egg beaten (for egg wash) Steps: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Peel all apples, cut into quarters, core, then slice in thin slices. Put all slices in a bowl. Add sugar, cinnamon, flour, dash of salt Mix well with a large spoon, mixing the apples so they get well coated. Add the cubes of butter and fold into the apples Take your bottom crust, fill it well over the brim with apples, Build a mountain of apples in the middle. Using your clean hands, press the apples down to fill in any empty areas. Round off this mountain of apples. Using the roll out type of top crust, flour the surface, peel the crust out. Using a rolling pin, flour the rolling pin. Roll out just a little bigger. Carefully lie the pie crust over the apples evenly. Pinch the top crust with the bottom crust. Make 4 double slits in the center of the pie. Beat one egg. Using clean hands, scoop up some egg and rub it over the top and sides of the pie. This makes the pie shiny and golden brown. Cut aluminum foil in long thin strips. Put the foil around the edges of the crust until the last 10 minutes of baking. Remove and continue baking. Bake for 35 minutes or until it is golden brown and bubbly. Cook the pie on a baking sheet!
Swan Lake - not what you think
____________________________________________________ Secretary: "My printer is flashing '''Error 13 Paper Out" Buzzy: "Check to see if there is paper in the machine" Secretary: "Already did, no - there is no paper in the machine" Buzzy: "Try filling the paper bin, see if that fixes the 'error''." Secretary: "Hold on.... Yes that fixed it, but every time it runs out of paper I get the error again." Buzzy: "Hmmmm, I'll have to research that problem. Might be best if you drop the printer off at my office. By the way, the thermostat here does not work. Don`t wear more than your underwear when you come up here." ___________________________________________________
WOW!
Taxiing down the tarmac, the jet abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she explained. "It's OK now. It just took a while to find a pilot who is deaf."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 15
44 BC Roman Emperor Julius Caesar was assassinated by high
ranking Roman Senators. The day is known as the "Ides of
March." 

1341 During the Hundred Years War, an alliance was signed
between Roman Emperor Louis IV and France's Philip VI. 

1493 Christopher Columbus returned to Spain after his first
New World voyage. 

1778 In command of two frigates, the Frenchman la Perouse
sailed east from Botany Bay for the last lap of his voyage
around the world. 

1781 During the American Revolution, the Battle of Guilford
Courthouse took place in North Carolina. British General
Cornwallis' 1,900 soldiers defeated an American force of
4,400. 

1862 General John Hunt Morgan began four days of raids near
the city of Gallatin, TN. 

1864 Red River Campaign began as the Union forces reach
Alexandria, LA. 

1875 The Roman Catholic Archbishop of New York, John
McCloskey, was named the first American cardinal. 

1877 The first cricket test between Australia and England
was played in Melbourne. Australia won by 45 runs. 

1892 New York State unveiled the new automatic ballot voting
machine. 

1892 Jesse W. Reno patented the Reno Inclined Elevator. It
was the first escalator. 

1901 German Chancellor von Bulow declared that an agreement
between Russia and China over Manchuria would violate the
Anglo-German accord of October 1900. 

1902 In Boston, MA, 10,000 freight handlers went back to
work after a weeklong strike. 

1903 The British conquest of Nigeria was completed. 500,000
square miles were now controlled by the U.K. 

1904 Three hundred Russians were killed as the Japanese
shelled Port Arthur in Korea. 

1907 In Finland, women won their first seats in the Finnish
Parliament. They took their seats on May 23. 

1909 Italy proposed a European conference on the Balkans. 

1910 Otto Kahn offered $500,000 for a family portrait by
Dutch artist Frans Hals. Kahn had outbid J.P. Morgan for the
work. 

1916 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson sent 12,000 troops, under
General Pershing, over the border of Mexico to pursue bandit
Pancho Villa. The mission failed. 

1917 Russian Czar Nicholas II abdicated himself and his son.
His brother Grand Duke succeeded as czar. 

1919 The American Legion was founded in Paris. 

1922 Fuad I assumed the title of king of Egypt after the
country gained nominal independence from Britain. 

1934 Henry Ford restored the $5 a day wage. 

1935 Joseph Goebbels, German Minister of Propaganda banned
four Berlin newspapers. 

1937 In Chicago, IL, the first blood bank to preserve blood
for transfusion by refrigeration was established at the Cook
County Hospital. 

1938 Oil was discovered in Saudi Arabia. 

1939 German forces occupied Bohemia and Moravia, and part of
Czechoslovakia. 

1944 Cassino, Italy, was destroyed by Allied bombing. 

1946 British Premier Attlee offered India full independence
after agreement on a constitution. 

1949 Clothes rationing in Great Britain ended nearly four
years after the end of World War II. 

1951 General de Lattre demanded that Paris send him more
troops for the fight in Vietnam. 

1951 The Persian parliament voted to nationalize the oil
industry. 

1955 The U.S. Air Force unveiled a self-guided missile. 

1960 The first underwater park was established as Key Largo
Coral Reef Preserve. 

1964 In Montreal, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were
married. 

1968 The U.S. mint halted the practice of buying and selling
gold. 

1982 Nicaragua's ruling junta proclaimed a month-long state
of siege and suspended the nation's constitution for one
day. This came a day after anti-government rebels destroyed
two bridges near the Honduran border. 

1985 In Brazil, two decades of military rule came to an end
with the installation of a civilian government. 

1989 The U.S. Food and Drug administration decided to
impound all fruit imported from Chili after two cyanide-
tainted grapes were found in Philadelphia, PA. 

1990 In Iraq, British journalist Farzad Bazoft was hanged
for spying. 

1990 Mikhail Gorbachev was elected the first executive
president of the Soviet Union. 

1990 The Ford Explorer was introduced to the public. 

1990 The Soviet parliament ruled that Lithuania's
declaration of independence was invalid and that Soviet law
was still in force in the Baltic republic. 

1991 Four Los Angeles police officers were indicted in the
beating of Rodney King on March 3, 1991. (California) 

1991 Yugoslav President Borisav Jovic resigned after about a
week of anit-communist protests. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton extended the moratorium on
nuclear testing until September of 1995. 

1996 The aviation firm Fokker NV collapsed. 

1998 More than 15,000 ethnic Albanians marched in Yugoslavia
to demand independence for Kosovo. 

2002 Libyan Abdel Baset Ali Mohmed Al-Megrahi began his life
sentence in a Scottish jail for his role in the bombing of
Pan Am Flight 103 on December 21, 1988. 

2002 In the U.S., Burger King began selling a veggie burger.
The event was billed as the first veggie burger to be sold
nationally by a fast food chain. 

2002 In Texas, Andrea Yates received a life sentence for
drowning her five children on June 20, 2001. 

2002 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell told the
Associated Press that the U.S. would stand by a 24-year
pledge not to use nuclear arms against states that don't
have them. 

2017  smiled.


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¸Restore recycle bin icon in W7 and W10 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Sweating dope mule arrested in Marathon, Florida
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 14 in
1489 Catherine Cornaro, Queen of Cyprus, sold her kingdom 
to Venice. She was the last of the Lusignan dynasty. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Crime does not pay ... as well as politics. --- Alfred E. Newman Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them yelled, "Ma'am, it looks like you knocked out your cat with the first slam. If you are going to keep doing that, you are going to get some very expensive vet bills!" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ross for this one: A kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support. The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term. "This time you stole a can of tomatoes. Let us suppose that there were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?" The woman agreed. "Then I sentence you to six nights in jail." The husband jumped to his feet , addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?" "Well," said his honor, this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench." The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he said in a low voice, "She also stole a can of peas, your honor." ______________________________________________________ Cardinal-Gynandromorph ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tyler Doidge, 21, Cape Coral, Florida Sweating dope mule arrested in Marathon, Florida A Cape Coral man told police he was delivering drugs to friends in Key West in exchange for a free vacation before being pulled over for speeding in Marathon Tuesday. Tyler Doidge, 21, was stopped just before 8 p.m. for going almost twice the speed limit near mile marker 48, according to the arrest report from Monroe County Sheriff’s Office Deputy Matthew Cory. Doidge told Cory he was aware of warning signs that the 35 mph limit is strictly enforced in the area and was on his way to Key West for vacation. After Cory smelled marijuana and told Doidge he was going to search the 2008 Buick Lacrosse, he noted in the report Doidge began to develop beads of sweat on his forehead. “This is not normal behavior since the outside temperature [was] near 75 degrees. I have a protective vest and long pants on and I was not sweating,” Cory wrote. “Doidge was wearing a tank top and shorts. On the same evening I conducted three other traffic stops and none of those drivers appeared to be sweating.” During the search, Cory wrote he found a black backpack with 84.5 grams (about 3 ounces) of marijuana in plastic bags. Underneath the divider between the trunk bottom and the spare tire was a glass jar inside of which were 318 ecstasy pills with smiley faces stamped on both sides. Doige said his friends forgot the drugs on the mainland and in exchange for the delivery, they’d pay for his entire trip. He also told Cory he’d smoked some of the marijuana before the drive. “When asked to rate it from 1 to 10, he advised that it was an 8,” Cory wrote of the pot’s quality. “He advised that this cannabis was usually sold for around $200 an ounce.” Doige was arrested for possession of marijuana with intent to sell, possession of more than 20 grams of marijuana, possession of 10 grams or more of phenethylamines (ecstasy), and use of paraphernalia to transport drugs, all felonies. He was also ticketed for speeding. Doige was transported to the jail in Marathon without bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Iris Re: Restore Recycle bin icon Dear Webby My ex klutzed around on my computer, supposedly un-installing some of his programs, and since then the recycle bin icon is gone. While it's easy enough to delete stuff with the delete key, the odd time I need to restore a mistakenly deleted file. For that I need access to the recycle bin. Anybody around here whom I asked, said to just re-install Windows and that would fix it. Isn't there a better way ? Thanks Iris /i> Dear Iris In Windows 7 and 8 Go to Control Panel \ Personalize (or right-click on the desktop and select Personalize), and then choose the link for “Change Desktop Icons” on the left-hand side. Now you can chose the icons you want back on the desktop by checking the box next to the name: Click the Apply button, and you should see the icon show up on the desktop immediately. Just to be a nuisancee, it is slightly different in W10: First, right-click on the desktop and choose Personalize. Now select Themes on the left-hand menu, and then once you are there, you can select Desktop icon settings under the “Related Settings” section. And now you can click the checkboxes for the icons that you want back. You should see the icons show up as soon as you click Apply. Have FUN! DearWebby
Cats view of God -On the first day of creation God created the cat. -On the second day God created man to serve the cat. -On the third day God created all the animals of earth to serve as potential food for the cat. -On the fourth day God created honest toil so man could labor for the good of the cat. -On the fifth day God created the sparkle ball so the cat might or might not play with it. -On the sixth day God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and man broke. -On the seventh day God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litterbox.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making a Popsicle Stick Toy Harmonica By ShirleyE [143 Posts, 100 Comments] Just 2 sticks and a bit of plastic makes this fun toy. It's not the most tuneful of musical instruments. In fact it only plays one squeaky little note, but for youngish children it's a lot of fun. Supplies: 3 wooden lolly/Popsicle sticks 2 small hair elastics or loom bands small piece of cellophane scissors Optional sticky backed decorations Steps: Snip a little off the end of one of the sticks. It will probably splinter into smaller pieces, but that's OK. Take a small piece of cellophane packaging and cut it to fit the length of a stick. Lay it on top of one of the sticks. Place a piece of the splintered wood on top of the cellophane at each end. Lay the last wooden stick on top. Secure each end with an elastic band. Decorate with sticky back jewels if you like. Put it to your mouth and blow through the gap between the sticks. The cellophane will vibrate and make a noise
Die Maiers Comedy Trapeze
____________________________________________________ Joe's wife had a sex change... Now it's Wednesday's and Saturday's instead of Tuesday's and Friday's. ___________________________________________________
Well, this is different.
There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: "Hello?" "Honey, It's me. Are you at the club?" "Yes." "Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat... It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $1,500.00" "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." "Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2017 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What price did he quote you?" "Only $76,000..." "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! Before we hang up, something else..." "What?" "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account.... and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property..." "How much are they asking?" "Only $850,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover the downpayment..." "Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $820,000. OK?" "OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" "Bye... I do too..." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present....: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 14
1489 Catherine Cornaro, Queen of Cyprus, sold her kingdom to
Venice. She was the last of the Lusignan dynasty. 

1629 A Royal charter was granted to the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. 

1647 During the Thirty Years War, France, Sweden, Bavaria
and Cologne signed a Treaty of Neutrality. 

1743 First American town meeting was held at Boston's
Faneuil Hall. 

1757 British Admiral John Byng was executed by a firing
squad on board HMS Monarch for neglect of duty. 

1794 Eli Whitney received a patent for his cotton gin. 

1864 Samuel Baker discovered another source of the Nile in
East Africa. He named it Lake Albert Nyanza. 

1891 The submarine Monarch laid telephone cable along the
bottom of the English Channel to prepare for the first
telephone links across the Channel. 

1900 U.S. currency went on the gold standard with the
ratification of the Gold Standard Act. 

1900 In Holland, Botanist Hugo de Vries rediscovered
Mendel's laws of heredity. 

1901 Utah Governor Heber M. Wells vetoed a bill that would
have relaxed restrictions on polygamy. 

1903 The U.S. Senate ratified the Hay-Herran Treaty that
guaranteed the U.S. the right to build a canal at Panama.
The Columbian Senate rejected the treaty. A deal was signed
on November 6, 1903 with the newly independent Panama. 

1904 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the governments claim
that the Northern Securities Company was an illegal merger
between the Great Northern and Northern Pacific Railway
companies. 

1905 French bankers refused to lend money to Russia until
after their war. 

1905 The British House of Commons cited a need to compete
with Germany in naval strength. 

1906 The island of Ustica was devastated by an earthquake. 

1912 An anarchist named Antonio Dalba unsuccessfully
attempted to kill Italy's King Victor Emmanuel III in Rome. 

1914 Henry Ford announced the new continuous motion method
to assemble cars. The process decreased the time to make a
car from 12½ hours to 93 minutes. 

1915 The British Navy sank the German battleship Dresden off
the Chilean coast. 

1918 An all-Russian Congress of Soviets ratified a peace
treaty with the Central Powers. 

1923 President Harding became the first U.S. President to
file an income tax report. 

1932 George Eastman, the founder of the Kodak company,
committed suicide. 

1936 Adolf Hitler told a crowd of 300,000 that Germany's
only judge is God and itself. 

1939 Hungary occupied the Carpatho-Ukraine. Slovakia
declared its independence. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first
U.S. President to fly in an airplane while in office. 

1945 In Germany, a 22,000 pound "Grand Slam" bomb was
dropped by the Royal Air Force Dumbuster Squad on the
Beilefeld railway viaduct. It was the heaviest bomb used
during World War II. 

1947 The U.S. signed a 99-year lease on naval bases in the
Philippines. 

1947 Moscow announced that 890,532 German POWs were held in
the U.S.S.R. 

1951 U.N. forces recaptured Seoul for the second time during
the Korean War. 

1958 The U.S. government suspended arms shipments to the
Batista government of Cuba. 

1964 A Dallas jury found Jack Ruby guilty of the murder of
Lee Harvey Oswald. 

1967 John F. Kennedy's body was moved from a temporary grave
to a permanent one. 

1976 Egypt formally abrogated the 1971 Treaty Friendship and
Cooperation with the Soviet Union. 

1978 An Israeli force of 22,000 invaded south Lebanon. The
PLO bases were hit. 

1979 The Census Bureau reported that 95% of all Americans
were married or would get married. 

1979 Near Peking, China, at least 200 people died when a
Trident aircraft crashed into a factory. 

1980 A Polish airliner crashed while making an emergency
landing near Warsaw. 87 people were killed. A 14-man U.S.
boxing team was aboard the plane. 

1981 Three Pakistani airline hijackers surrendered in Syria
after they had exchanged 100 passengers and crewmen for 54
Pakistani prisoners. 

1983 OPEC agreed to cut its oil prices by 15% for the first
time in its 23-year history. 

1989 Imported assault guns were banned in the U.S. under
President George H.W. Bush. 

1991 The "Birmingham Six," imprisoned for 16 years for their
alleged part in an IRA pub bombing, were set free after a
court agreed that the police fabricated evidence. 

1991 Bolivian interior minister Guillermo Capobianco
resigned after U.S. officials accused him of receiving money
from drug traffickers. 

1995 American astronaut Norman Thagard became the first
American to enter space aboard a Russian rocket. 

1996 U.S. President Bill Clinton committed $100 million for
an anti-terrorism pact with Israel to track down and root
out Islamic militants. 

1998 An earthquake left 10,000 homeless in southeastern
Iran. 

2002 A Scottish appeals court upheld the conviction of a
Libyan intelligence agent for the 1988 bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103. A five-judge court ruled unanimously that Abdel
Basset Ali al-Megrahi was guilty of bringing down the plane
over Lockerbie, Scotland. 

2003 Robert Blake was released from jail on $1.5 million
bail. Blake had been jailed for the murder of his wife Bonny
Lee Bakley.

2017  smiled.


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How to Strip >>> from emails 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
A Florida man is arrested after trying to kill his boss
after he was fired from his job.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 13 in
1519 Cortez landed in Mexico. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day." "Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" "Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One night father was helping with the homework. Father asked "What is the Gross National Product?" pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach? Broccoli?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Irelio Reyes Osorio, 52, Hialeah, Florida A Florida man is arrested after trying to kill his boss after he was fired from his job. Irelio Reyes Osorio, 52, of Hialeah, was arrested on Tuesday for attempted first-degree murder, KTRK reported. Hialeah Police released video footage of the suspect allegedly trying to run over the victim with his car. Authorities say Osorio was fired from his job at an AC repair company for allegedly showing up to work intoxicated, NBC Miami reports. Days after his termination, “Osorio was angry at his former supervisor for firing him and was demanding to be paid for the two days he worked before he was fired,” according to a police report. “Police said Osorio sent the man numerous text messages, threatening to use a gun, machete or knife on him if he didn’t get paid,” KTRK reported. “Police said the man agreed to meet Osorio at a cafeteria” out of fear. When they met up, police said Osorio was armed with a knife and attacked the victim. The victim suffered cuts to his chest and arm while trying to escape. He threw a rock at the suspect, “knocking the knife out of his hand.” Both men then returned to their vehicles. “Surveillance video shows Osorio’s pickup truck slamming into the man’s work van” in an attempt to run him over. At one point, Osorio pinned the victim against a chain link fence. The victim was taken to a local hospital with stab wounds and bruises. Police say the suspect admitted to attacking and hitting the victim with his truck when he was arrested. Osorio is being held without bond at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center, WPLG reported. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Strip >>> from emails Dear Webby I had to get this @#$%^%$# reformatted and the techy didn't reinstall that wonderful program I got from you for cleaning up emails before I send them on.(as in getting rid of the >>>> 's etc., ...and...I can't remember the name of it or find it on your site.....sheeeesh..maybe I'm losing it. I had made a cute icon for it, and always used that instead of looking for it's name. Anyway would you be so kind as to send me the link so I can re-install it and not send " dirty" emails on. Thanks so much.. Ann /i> Dear Ann I think that is StripMail. Try it anyway. It's free. StripMail http://www.snapfiles.com/get/stripmail.html Have FUN! DearWebby
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor for a check up. The doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again." To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will five times!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dawn and Baking Soda to Clean a Smooth Top Range Here's an easy and eco-friendly method for cleaning a smooth top range. It removed all but the very worst stains with minimal effort. Total Time: 25 minutes Yield: 1 Supplies: 1 Cups baking soda 2 Tablespoons Dawn 1 towel 1 bowl or bucket Steps: Clean any loose debris off of the range top. Apply baking soda liberally to the top of your stove. Add a squirt of a dish soap to a bowl of water. About 2 teaspoons of dish soap to 1 gallon of water. Soak a towel in the soap and water mixture. Remove, leaving it pretty wet. Place the towel on top of the baking soda. Let sit for 20 minutes. Remove the towel and then dry off the range with a paper towels. Enjoy your clean and glistening range! The only stains not removed are seen in the picture below. Those can be be removed using a little Cerema Bryte. Cerema Bryte is nice to have around, but can be expensive for frequent cleaning.
blind man and his angel dance
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Wanda for this story: Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had sent. Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below. Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Barbara," on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills. "What's this?" she asked. "That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied. "Don't Despair paid 80-to-1." ___________________________________________________
Amazing Highlights from Smithsonian’s 14th Annual Photo Contest.
Two storks are on a nest-a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry Son, your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy," he says. The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies," the mother stork says to the crying baby stork. A few days later, the stork parents are desperate-their son is gone from the nest all night. Finally, shortly before dawn, he returns. The parents ask their son where he has been all night. The baby stork says, "Awww, just scaring the hell out of teenagers!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 13
0483 St. Felix III began his reign as Pope. 

0607 The 12th recorded passage of Halley's Comet occurred. 

1519 Cortez landed in Mexico. 

1639 Harvard University was named for clergyman John
Harvard. 

1660 A statute was passed limiting the sale of slaves in the
colony of Virginia. 

1777 The U.S. Congress ordered its European envoys to appeal
to high-ranking foreign officers to send troops to reinforce
the American army. 

1781 Sir William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus. 

1852 The New York "Lantern" newspaper published the first
"Uncle Sam cartoon". It was drawn by Frank Henry Bellew. 

1865 Jefferson Davis signed a bill authorizing slaves to be
used as soldiers for the Confederacy. 

1877 Chester Greenwood patented the earmuff. 

1884 Standard time was adopted throughout the U.S. 

1900 In South Africa, British Gen. Roberts took
Bloemfontein. 

1901 Andrew Carnegie announced that he was retiring from
business and that he would spend the rest of his days giving
away his fortune. His net worth was estimated at $300
million. 

1902 In Poland, schools were shut down across the country
when students refused to sing the Russian hymn "God Protect
the Czar." 

1902 Andrew Carnegie approved 40 applications from libraries
for donations. 

1908 The people of Jerusalem saw an automobile for the first
time. The owner was Charles Glidden of Boston. 

1911 The U.S. Supreme Court approved corporate tax law. 

1915 The Germans repelled a British expeditionary force
attack in France. 

1918 Women were scheduled to march in the St. Patrick's Day
Parade in New York due to a shortage of men due to wartime. 

1925 A law in Tennessee prohibited the teaching of
evolution. 

1930 It was announced that the planet Pluto had been
discovered by scientist Clyde Tombaugh at the Lowell
Observatory. 

1933 U.S. banks began to re-open after a "holiday" that had
been declared by President Roosevelt. 

1935 Three-thousand-year-old archives were found in
Jerusalem confirming some biblical history. 

1940 The war between Russia and Finland ended with the
signing of a treaty in Moscow. 

1941 Adolf Hitler issued an edict calling for an invasion of
the U.S.S.R. 

1942 Julia Flikke of the Nurse Corps became the first woman
colonel in the U.S. Army. 

1943 Japanese forces ended their attack on the American
troops on Hill 700 in Bougainville. 

1946 Reports from Iran indicated that Soviet tanks units
were stationed 20 miles from Tehran. 

1946 Premier Tito seized wartime collaborator General Draja
Mikhailovich in a cave in Yugoslavia. 

1951 Israel demanded $1.5 billion in German reparations for
the cost of caring for war refugees. 

1951 The comic strip "Dennis the Menace" appeared for the
first time in newspapers across the country. 

1957 Jimmy Hoffa was arrested by the FBI on bribery charges.


1963 China invited Soviet President Khrushchev to visit
Peking. 

1969 The Apollo 9 astronauts returned to Earth after the
conclusion of a mission that included the successful testing
of the Lunar Module. 

1970 Cambodia ordered Hanoi and Viet Cong troops to leave. 

1970 Digital Equipment Corp. introduced the PDP-11
minicomputer. 

1974 The U.S. Senate voted 54-33 to restore the death
penalty. 

1974 An embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries was
lifted. 

1980 A jury in Winamac, IN, found Ford Motor Company
innocent of reckless homicide in the deaths of three young
women that had been riding in a Ford Pinto. 

1990 The U.S. lifted economic sanctions against Nicaragua. 

1991 Exxon paid $1 billion in fines and for the clean-up of
the Alaskan oil spill. 

1995 The first United Nations World Summit on Social
Development concluded in Copenhagen, Denmark. 

2003 Japan sent a destroyer to the Sea of Japan amid reports
that North Korea was planning to test an intermediate-range
ballistic missile. 

2003 A report in the journal "Nature" reported that
scientists had found 350,000-year-old human footprints in
Italy. The 56 prints were made by three early, upright-
walking humans that were descending the side of a volcano. 

2012 After 244 years of publication, Encyclopædia Britannica
announced it would discontinue its print edition. 

2017  smiled.


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Answer to AOL mail large font problem 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, March 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida tourist flips golf cart while attempting to 
run over rooster
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 12 in
1903 The Czar of Russia issued a decree providing for
nominal freedom of religion throughout his territory. 

2013 His successor told the Mooselimbs to get lost or 
go to hell.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons. --- R. Buckminster Fuller (1895 - 1983) Sound really does travel slower than light. The advice parents give to their 18 year olds doesn't reach them until they're about 40. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips.. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An old Jewish woman has been invited to help screen a movie for the rating it'll carry. The movie is an old remake of a Roman Gladiator-type movie. In the middle of the movie is a scene where the Romans are feeding people to the lions. The little old lady hits the buzzer she's been given, which stops the movie. The attendant comes down to her chair and says, "Yes, ma'am?" "This movie should be rated 'R'," she says, "because those Jews are being fed to the lions!" The attendant says, "Ma'am, those are Christians, not Jews." "Oh..... Ok. Well, start the movie up again." A few minutes later she again presses the buzzer. The attendant comes down to her chair. "Yes ma'am?" She points to the screen. "Those lions over there... ...they're not eating!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Daniel H. Jones, 34, Cinnaminson, N.J. Florida tourist flips golf cart while attempting to run over rooster A drunk tourist in the Keys is accused of attempting to commit a “fowl crime”. Daniel H. Jones, of Cinnaminson, N.J., had a blood-alcohol content over three times the legal limit while erratically driving a golf cart and attempting to run down a rooster in a Key West neighborhood on March 3, according to FL Keys News. He was adamant about trying to hit the rooster,” witness Vincent Vurro told FL Keys News. However, Jones, 34, did more damage to himself and his two passengers when he rolled the cart over and ejecting everyone from the vehicle. The rooster jumped onto a sidewalk and avoided injury. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eve Re: Answer to Large Font on AOL Dear Webby hi saw my webby today and someone needed to change back their fonts ........on aol? On aol's toolbar up top go to "Settings" icon and click it will bring up a page directory for all the aol settings and browser settings, buddy, wallpaper, etc. A to Z! Go to T........for Text and Fonts , click on that and you can change your font size and color everything! ok? Eve Dear Eve Thanks for sending the solution ! Have FUN! DearWebby
A woman was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal beliefs to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm spirit, so he tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "this is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel their kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed the woman, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Mismatched Socks for Cleaning By 15mhhm15 [37 Posts, 58 Comments] If you have mismatch socks, socks with holes, or the elastic of your socks is stretched out - you can reuse the socks to clean around your house and car. Just slip your hands in the socks and since the socks have been washed - you can use it as a rag, duster and it is more effective and cleans a lot faster! I especially love waxing the car with socks because it applies the wax nicely and it is easy to maneuver the wax on my car. Other usages: - make sock toys - polish your shoes - clean the white board - and many more things you can do
Bathroom etiquette
____________________________________________________ Groan Alert from Vicky! I hadn't been to a class reunion in decades. When I walked into this latest one, I thought I recognized a wife of a classmate over in the corner, so I approached her and extended my hand in greeting, saying, "You look like Helen Brown." "Well," the woman snapped back, "You don't look so great in blue either!" ___________________________________________________
18 common misconceptions.
A hat was passed around a church congregation to take up an offering for the visiting minister. Presently it was returned to him...embarrassingly empty. Slowly the parson inverted the hat and shook it meaningfully. From the back came this comment: "With a sermon THAT long he should be glad he got his hat back!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 12
1496 Jews were expelled from Syria. It didn't go over well.

1609 The Bermuda Islands became an English colony. 

1664 New Jersey became a British colony. King Charles II
granted land in the New World to his brother James (The Duke
of York). 

1755 In North Arlington, NJ, the steam engine was used for
the first time in the US. 

1789 The U.S. Post Office was established. 

1809 Britain signed a treaty with Persia forcing the French
to leave the country. 

1889 Almon B. Stowger applied for a patent for his automatic
telephone system. 

1894 Coca-Cola was sold in bottles for the first time. 

1903 The Czar of Russia issued a decree providing for
nominal freedom of religion throughout his territory. 

2013 His successor told the Mooselimbs to get out and/or go
to hell.

1905 In Rome, Premier Giovanni Giolli was forced out of
office by continued civil strife. 

1906 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that corporations must
yield incriminating evidence in anti-trust suits. 

1909 The British Parliament increased naval appropriations
for Britain. 

1909 Three U.S. warships were ordered to Nicaragua to stem
the conflict with El Salvador. 

1911 Dr. Fletcher of Rockefeller Institute discovered the
cause of infantile paralysis. 

1912 The Girl Scout organization was founded. The original
name was Girl Guides. 

1923 Dr. Lee DeForest demonstrated phonofilm. It was his
technique for putting sound on motion picture film. 

1930 Ghandi began his 200-mile march to the sea that
symbolized his defiance of British rule over India. 

1933 President Paul von Hindenburg dropped the flag of the
German Republic and ordered that the swastika and empire
banner be flown side by side. 

1935 Parimutuel betting became legal in the State of
Nebraska. 

1938 The "Anschluss" took place as German troops marched
into Austria. 

1944 Britain barred all travel to Ireland. 

1947 U.S. President Truman established the "Truman Doctrine"
to help Greece and Turkey resist Communism. 

1959 The U.S. House joined the U.S. Senate in approving the
statehood of Hawaii. 

1966 Bobby Hull, of the Chicago Blackhawks, became the first
National Hockey League (NHL) player to score 51 points in a
single season. 

1974 "Wonder Woman" debuted on ABC-TV. The show later went
to CBS-TV. 

1984 Lebanese President Gemayel opened the second meeting in
five years calling for the end to nine years of war. 

1985 The U.S. and the U.S.S.R. began arms control talks in
Geneva. 

1985 Larry Bird (Boston Celtics) scored a club-record 60
points against the Atlanta Hawks. 

1985 Former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon announced that
he planned to drop Secret Service protection and hire his
own bodyguards in an effort to lower the deficit by $3
million. 

1987 "Les Miserables" opened on Broadway. 

1989 Prime Minister Sadiq al Mahdi of Sudan formed a new
cabinet to end civil war. 

1989 About 2,500 veterans and supporters marched at the Art
Institute of Chicago to demand that officials remove an
American flag placed on the floor as part of an exhibit. 

1992 Mauritius became a republic but remained a member of
the British Commonwealth. 

1993 In the U.S., the Pentagon called for the closure of 31
major military bases. 

1993 Janet Reno was sworn in as the first female U.S.
attorney general. 

1994 A photo by Marmaduke Wetherell of the Loch Ness monster
was confirmed to be a hoax. The photo was taken of a toy
submarine with a head and neck attached. 

1994 The Church of England ordained its first women priests.


1999 Hungary, Poland and the Czech Republic became members
of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). All three
countries were members of the former Warsaw Pact. 

2002 Conoco and Phillips Petroleum stockholders approved a
proposed merger worth $15.6 billion. 

2003 In Utah, Elizabeth Smart was reunited with her family
nine months after she was abducted from her home. She had
been taken on June 5, 2002, by a drifter, who had previously
worked at the Smart home. 

2003 The U.S. Air Force announced that it would resume
reconnaissance flights off the coast of North Korea. The
flights had stopped on March 2 after an encounter with four
armed North Korean jets. 

2009 It was announced that the Sears Tower in Chicago, IL,
would be renamed Willis Tower. 

2010 In the U.S., Apple began taking pre-orders for the
iPad. 

2017  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, March 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Iowa bank robbery ends in brief chase, crash, arrest.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 10 in
537 The Goths began their siege on Rome. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once. --- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Pat Our five-year-old son went to a church conference with my wife and me. He got restless, so my wife handed him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the speaker said the word "and." After a while, he grew bored, and I asked, "Would you like to listen for a different word?" "Yes," he whispered. "I'd like to listen for 'Amen'." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Raccoon for this story: Jane and Gina and Mona died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was. Jane said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he turned her away. Gina said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he turned her away. Mona said she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, "OK, tell me." She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder..." St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good!" Mona continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dante Rhodes, 40, of Dubuque Iowa Iowa bank robbery ends in brief chase, crash, arrest. A bank robbery in Maquoketa led to a car chase and crash on Wednesday, March 8. Dante Rhodes, 40, of Dubuque, was arrested following the crash. Maquoketa police say they received a call about a robbery around 1:45 p.m. from Fidelity Bank on Highway 64. A teller says the man handed her a note and implied that he had a gun, but did not show one. Rhodes was able to flee with an undisclosed amount of cash and took off in a vehicle. Dubuque police identified Rhodes’ vehicle, but he did not pull over. Dubuque police say he lost control at the intersection of Highways 61 and 52S, where he sideswiped a stopped vehicle. Rhodes continued on and eventually struck an unmarked patrol car head-on. Rhodes tried to flee on foot but was Tasered and arrested. He was treated and released from an area hospital. The driver of the cars he struck were also treated and released. Evidence was found in the vehicle linking Rhodes to the bank robbery, says police. A whole bunch of different charges will be announced next week. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Large Font mail Dear Webby My grandkids were just here for a week during spring break. Not only did their departure leave me with lots of chores to catch up on but also left my computer emails using large print. I'm sure it was a joke about how old they think their Grammy is, but I really don't like it and I don't know how to change it back. Of course none of them took credit for this little prank so they obviously can't blow their cover by telling me how to return it to normal. I even asked the BIG isp, but of course they haven't had time to get back to me ??? Can you help? Thanx, Lee Dear Lee I haven't got a clue about how things are done at AOL. Up here with Eudora, I would click TOOLS, OPTIONS, FONTS and select medium or small fonts. Maybe somebody from AOL can send the instructions on how to do it there, and I'll print them here tomorrow. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Hope for this story: A Southern Baptist minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." With even greater emphasis he yelled, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he hollered, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it all and pour it into the river. AMEN! " With the sermon complete, he sat down. The choir leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closhing sschong, let usch be schinging Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Crescent Pizza Rolls By tiffanytallent1981 [62 Posts, 29 Comments] I think it is safe to bet that almost everyone loves pizza! And if you are looking for a great tasting variation, these rolls are the perfect choice. They make fabulous appetizers for events, parties, and reunions. I actually prepare one package and split them between dinner one night, and lunch the next day. They are just as good reheated in the microwave, so nothing has to be wasted if there are leftovers. Prep Time: 10 Cook Time: 10-12 minutes Total Time: 20-25 minutes Yield: 8 Source: Pinterest Ingredients: 1 pkg. crescent rolls 24 pieces pepperoni 4 mozzarella string cheese sticks Marinara, ranch, or other dipping sauce 1 sprinkle garlic powder 1/8 cup grated Parmesan cheese cooking spray (for some pans) Steps: Cut string cheese sticks in half. Lay out the crescent roll triangles. Add 3-4 slices of pepperoni to each triangle, slightly overlapping. Place them along the base of the triangle, going toward the middle. Add a cheese stick half on top of each set of pepperoni Preheat oven to 350-375 degrees F. You will bake them at the temperature given in the crescent roll directions. Every oven is different and mine works better at 350 F. Use cooking spray if you feel it is needed. I actually did not have any with this current batch. The rolls still practically slid off of my pan! Fold the crescent corners around the pepperonis and cheese sticks, leaving no holes. If you have any holes, the cheese will melt out and burn on the pan. Sprinkle garlic powder on top of the rolls. Place in the oven for 5-8 minutes. The darker you want the bottoms of the rolls, the longer you leave them in the oven. Take them out and flip each roll over. Place back in the oven for 4-6 minutes. The time depends on how dark you want them. I try to leave mine for 6 minutes the first time and 3-4 minutes after they have been flipped. Take them out of the oven and sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on top. Serve with your choice of dipping sauce. If you prefer traditional Pizza Pockets, turn up a quarter inch along the edge of the dough, smear Pizza sauce or Marinara Spaghetti sauce onto the dough, toss small cubed ham, onion, salami, pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple, whatever you want, except chocolate, onto the triangle. Top with shredded cheese. Squirt or drizzle some more of the sauce, cover with slices of tomato. Bake it for 10 minutes. If you want it to be fast filling, cover it with a dough triangle and smear pizza sauce on top of that and sprinkle some Mozzarella on top of that. Whatever you do, do NOT forget the Pizza sauce (or spaghetti sauce). It's the baked pizza sauce that gives it the expected pizza smell and flavor, not the dough. Have FUN! DearWebby
What Room Does Fear Have?
____________________________________________________ "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. Karin complied, and he wrote her a $45 ticket. She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her chequebook, should learn of the incident. Then inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, "One pullover, $25." ___________________________________________________
Down a secret rabbit hole.
A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice, "two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So vat did you do with the money?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 11
537 The Goths began their siege on Rome. 

1302 The characters Romeo and Juliet were married this day
according to William Shakespeare. 

1649 The peace of Rueil was signed between the Frondeurs
(rebels) and the French government. 

1665 A new legal code was approved for the Dutch and English
towns, guaranteeing religious observances unhindered. 

1791 Samuel Mulliken became the first person to receive more
than one patent from the U.S. Patent Office. 

1810 The Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte was married by proxy to
Archduchess Marie Louise of Austria. 

1824 The U.S. War Department created the Bureau of Indian
Affairs. Seneca Indian Ely Parker became the first Indian to
lead the Bureau. 

1845 Seven hundred Maoris led by their chief, Hone-Heke,
burned the small town of Kororareka. The act was in protest
to the settlement of Maoriland by Europeans, which was a
breach of the 1840 Treaty of Waitangi. 

1861 A Confederate Convention was held in Montgomery,
Alabama, where a new constitution was adopted. 

1865 Union General William Sherman and his forces occupied
Fayetteville, NC. 

1867 In Hawaii, the volcano Great Mauna Loa erupted. 

1888 The "Blizzard of '88" began along the U.S. Atlantic
Seaboard shutting down communication and transportation
lines. More than 400 people died.(March 11-14) 

1900 British Prime Minister Lord Salisbury rejected the
peace overtures offered from the Boer leader Paul Kruger. 

1901 Britain rejected an amended treaty to the canal
agreement with Nicaragua. 

1901 U.S. Steel was formed when industrialist J.P. Morgan
purchased Carnegie Steep Corp. The event made Andrew
Carnegie the world's richest man. 

1904 After 30 years of drilling, the north tunnel under the
Hudson River was holed through. The link was between Jersey
City, NJ, and New York, NY. 

1905 The Parisian subway was officially inaugurated. 

1907 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt induced California to
revoke its anti-Japanese legislation. 

1907 In Bulgaria, Premier Nicolas Petkov was killed by an
anarchist. 

1935 The German Air Force became an official department of
the Reich. 

1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt authorized the
Lend-Lease Act, which authorized the act of providing war
supplies to the Allies. 

1946 Communists and Nationalists began fighting as the
Soviets pulled out of Mukden, Manchuria. 

1946 Pravda exposed Winston Churchill as anti-Soviet and a
warmonger. 

1964 U.S. Senator Carl Hayden broke the record for
continuous service in the U.S. Senate. He had worked 37
years and seven days. 

1965 The American navy began inspecting Vietnamese junks in
an effort to end arms smuggling to the South. 

1969 Levi-Strauss started selling bell-bottomed jeans. 

1978 Bobby Hull (Winnipeg Jets) joined Gordie Howe by
getting his 1,000th career goal. 

1985 Mikhail Gorbachev was named the new chairman of the
Soviet Communist Party. 

1986 Popsicle announced its plan to end the traditional
twin-stick frozen treat for a one-stick model. 

1988 A cease-fire was declared in the war between Iran and
Iraq. 

1990 Lithuania declared its independence from the Soviet
Union. It was the first Soviet republic to break away from
Communist control. 

1990 In Chile, Patricio Aylwin was sworn in as the first
democratically elected president since 1973. 

1992 Former U.S. President Nixon said that the Bush
administration was not giving enough economic aid to Russia.


1993 North Korea withdrew from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation
Treaty refusing to open sites for inspection. 

1994 In Chile, Eduardo Frei was sworn in as President. It
was the first peaceful transfer of power in Chile since
1970. 

1997 An explosion at a nuclear waste reprocessing plant
caused 35 workers to be exposed to low levels of
radioactivity. The incident was the worst in Japan's
history. 

2002 Two columns of light were pointed skyward from ground
zero in New York as a temporary memorial to the victims of
the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. 

2017  smiled.


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Is a firewall really necessary? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, March 10
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Man who beat murder rap on technicality killed minutes 
after leaving jail
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 10 in
0241 BC The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the
 Battle of Aegusa off Sicily. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. --- Doug Larson Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care. --- William Safire (1929 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ went to the store with gramma and on the way home, was looking at the things she had purchased. found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "Queen Size", then turned to gramma and exclaimed, "Look Grandma, you wear the same size as mom's bed!" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One afternoon, a woman was in her back yard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. The woman could tell from the dog’s collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when she walked into the house, the dog followed her, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and the woman let him out. The next day the dog was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, the woman pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon, your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "We have ten children. He's trying to catch up on his sleep." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award has been earned by Kamari Belmont, 23, Chicago, Illinois Man who beat murder rap on technicality killed minutes after leaving jail A Chicago man accused of murder who beat his case when prosecutors couldn't give him a speedy trial was killed after leaving Cook County Jail on Monday night, according to authorities. Kamari Belmont, 23, was being held on separate murder and robbery cases stemming from a single night in 2015 in which he was accused of shooting one man during a robbery who later died and robbing another man a couple of hours later. Cook County prosecutors in January dropped murder charges against Belmont and his co-defendant, Terrance Hogan, 23, after allowing too much time to elapse under the state's speedy trial statute without bringing the case to trial, according to court records and Belmont's attorney. Bail on Belmont's robbery case was set at $100,000 the same day charges were dropped. At 5:30 p.m. Monday, a friend of Belmont's posted $10,000 bond. Belmont was released at 11:12 p.m. Someone pulled alongside him in a white SUV on California Avenue a couple of blocks south of Cook County Jail on Monday night before midnight and started shooting. Belmont was shot multiple times. The white SUV crashed, and those inside fled, according to police. Belmont collapsed in the street trying to flee and died at the scene. "Oh, my God, I can't believe it," said Belmont's attorney, Michael Johnson, who said he has known Belmont's family for over two decades. He said he'd seen his client recently at the jail as Belmont's family put together the bail money. Hogan remains locked up. "I told him, once he gets out he's got to get out of the neighborhood," Johnson said. "Unfortunately this isn't the first time I've seen this." The man Belmont was accused of killing, Sorrell Marshall, 40, was wounded in a robbery May 1, 2015, and died three weeks later. But after his death, prosecutors chose to indict Hogan and Belmont only on attempted murder and armed robbery charges, according to a motion filed by Hogan's attorneys last fall and later adopted by Belmont. It wasn't clear why prosecutors waited so long to file murder charges or why the two were still indicted for attempted murder after Marshall died May 23. Marshall's death, however, was not immediately ruled a homicide by the Cook County medical examiner's office, which initially marked the case as pending further investigation. The two weren't indicted on murder charges until a year later, but the speedy trial clock had already been ticking because the new indictment was based on the same set of facts, the three-page motion said, leaving prosecutors no choice but to drop the charges. Marshall had dropped off his girlfriend near her apartment at 37th and Vincennes that night and had parked when Belmont and Hogan tried to rob him, according to authorities. A struggle ensued, and Marshall was shot in the leg and the groin. He died later in the month. Belmont was arrested in Canaryville that night after a second robbery, according to authorities. He and Hogan held up a man in the South Loop. A woman with him fled and flagged down a police car that tracked the phone to Canaryville. Hogan was accidentally shot during the arrest, but got away and was arrested after he showed up at Mercy Hospital and Medical Center seeking treatment for his wound. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Beat Re: Is a firewall necessary? Dear Webby Is a firewall necessary for a computer that is only used for an hour or so every day? Beat Dear Beat Yes, it is. They did a test with a thousand brand new computers and they were attacked on the average within 14 minutes. If you don't think a good all round protection like Malwarebytes that protects you from everything including hijackers and ransome ware, is too good for you, then use at least Windows Defender. Yes, I know, all the experts laugh about it, but it IS better than nothing at all. Just use a lot of common sense, be extremely careful when downloading any programs, and if in doubt, Skype me. Watch out for "payloads" attached to free programs. They are only pretending to be neat and nifty helpers, but usually are just a back-door for trouble. Have FUN! DearWebby
You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pressure Cooker Mongolian Beef By Judy Pariser S. [257 Posts, 1,596 Comments]
LE PLUS GRAND CABARET DU MONDE - Guang Dong - Pas de deux
____________________________________________________ Bob's Secrets to a Happy Marriage 1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans. 2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex. 4. It is important that these three women never meet. ___________________________________________________
Makes me want to start digging in my backyard!
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her. Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about 6 months ago, it had revived their marriage and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 10
0241 BC The Roman fleet sank 50 Carthaginian ships in the
Battle of Aegusa off Sicily. 

0049 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and invaded Italy.


1496 Christopher Columbus concluded his second visit to the
Western Hemisphere when he left Hispaniola for Spain. 

1629 England's King Charles I dissolved Parliament and did
not call it back for 11 years. 

1656 In the American colony of Virginia, suffrage was
extended to all free men regardless of their religion. 

1785 Thomas Jefferson was appointed minister to France. He
succeeded Benjamin Franklin. 

1792 John Stone patented the pile driver. 

1804 The formal ceremonies transferring the Louisiana
Purchase from France to the U.S. took place in St. Louis. 

1806 The Dutch in Cape Town, South Africa surrendered to the
British. 

1814 In France, Napoleon Bonaparte was defeated by a
combined Allied Army at the battle of Laon. 

1848 The U.S. Senate ratified the Treaty of Guadalupe
Hidalgo, which ended the war with Mexico. 

1849 Abraham Lincoln applied for a patent for a device to
lift vessels over shoals by means of inflated cylinders. 

1864 Ulysses S. Grant became commander of the Union armies
in the U.S. Civil War. 

1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the first successful call
with the telephone. He spoke the words "Mr. Watson, come
here, I want to see you." 

1880 The Salvation Army arrived in the U.S. from England. 

1893 New Mexico State University canceled its first
graduation ceremony because the only graduate was robbed and
killed the night before. 

1894 New York Gov. Roswell P. Flower signed the nation's
first dog-licensing law. 

1902 The Boers of South Africa scored their last victory
over the British, when they captured British General Methuen
and 200 men. 

1902 Tochangri, Turkey, was entirely wiped out by an
earthquake. 

1902 U.S. Attorney General Philander Knox announced that a
suit was being brought against Morgan and Harriman's
Northern Securities Company. The suit was enforcement of the
Sherman Antitrust Act. Northern Securities loss in court was
upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court on March 14, 1904. 

1903 Harry C. Gammeter patented the multigraph duplicating
machine. 

1903 In New York's harbor, the disease-stricken ship
Karmania was quarantined with six dead from cholera. 

1906 In France, 1,200 miners were buried in an explosion at
Courrieres. 

1909 Britain extracted territorial concessions from Siam and
Malaya. 

1910 Slavery was abolished in China. 

1912 China became a republic after the overthrow of the
Manchu Ch'ing Dynasty. 

1924 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a New York state law
forbidding late-night work for women. 

1927 Prussia lifted its Nazi ban allowing Adolf Hitler to
speak in public. 

1933 Nevada became the first U.S. state to regulate drugs. 

1941 Vichy France threatened to use its navy unless Britain
allowed food to reach France. 

1944 The Irish refused to oust all Axis envoys and denied
the accusation of spying on Allied troops. 

1945 American B-29 bombers attacked Tokyo, Japan, 100,000
were killed. 

1947 The Big Four met in Moscow to discuss the future of
Germany. 

1947 Poland and Czechoslovakia signed a 20-year mutual aid
pact. 

1949 Nazi wartime broadcaster Mildred E. Gillars, also known
as "Axis Sally," was convicted in Washington, DC. Gillars
was convicted of treason and served 12 years in prison. 

1953 North Korean gunners at Wonsan fired upon the USS
Missouri. The ship responded by firing 998 rounds at the
enemy position. 

1966 The North Vietnamese captured a Green Beret camp at
Ashau Valley. 

1966 France withdrew from NATO's military command to protest
U.S. dominance of the alliance and asked NATO to move its
headquarters from Paris. 

1969 James Earl Ray pled guilty in Memphis, TN, to the
assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Ray later repudiated
the guilty plea and maintained his innocence until his death
in April of 1998. 

1971 The U.S. Senate approved an amendment to lower the
voting age to 18. 

1975 The North Vietnamese Army attacked the South Vietnamese
town of Ban Me Thout. 

1980 Iran's leader, Ayatollah Khomeini, lent his support to
the militants holding American hostages in Tehran. 

1982 The U.S. banned Libyan oil imports due to their
continued support of terrorism. 

1987 The Vatican condemned surrogate parenting as well as
test-tube and artificial insemination. 

1990 Haitian President Prosper Avril was ousted 18 months
after seizing power in a coup. 

1991 "Phase Echo" began. It was the operation to withdraw
540,000 U.S. troops from the Persian Gulf region. 

1994 White House officials began testifying before a federal
grand jury about the Whitewater controversy. 

1995 U.S. Secretary of State Warren Christopher told Yasser
Arafat that he must do more to curb Palestinian terrorists. 

1998 U.S. troops in the Persian Gulf began receiving the
first vaccinations against anthrax. 

2002 The Associated Press reported that the Pentagon
informed the U.S. Congress in January that it was making
contingency plans for the possible use of nuclear weapons
against countries that threaten the U.S. with weapons of
mass destruction, including Iraq and North Korea. 

2003 North Korea test-fired a short-range missile. The event
was one of several in a patter of unusual military
maneuvers.

2017  smiled.


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Name in jokes 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 9

Thanks Jim!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Texan jailed in Florida after stealing two vehicles and 
a patrol car
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 8 in
1454 Amerigo Vespucci was born in Florence, Italy. Matthias
Ringmann, a German mapmaker, named the American continent in
his honor. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) The love of truth lies at the root of much humor. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The proprietor of a successful optical shop was instructing on how to charge a customer. "After you have fitted the customer's glasses," he said, "and he asks you what the charge will be, you say, '$200.' Then see if he winces." "If the customer doesn't wince you say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be another $200.'" "If he still doesn't wince you say firmly, 'Each.'" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon's house. After a two-minute job, he demanded $150. The neurosurgeon exclaimed, "I don't even charge that amount and I am a brain surgeon." The plumber replied, "I agree. You are right! I didn't either, when I was a surgeon. That's why I switched to plumbing." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cody Dwayne Hynum, 30, Highlands, Texas Texan jailed in Florida after stealing two vehicles and a patrol car A vehicle fire on Interstate 10 in Walton County leads to an unprecedented chain of events including two stolen vehicles and a handcuffed suspect stealing a patrol car. Friday morning at approximately 9:50am Walton County Sheriff’s Deputies responded to a vehicle fire near mile marker 85 on I-10. After the fire was extinguished it was discovered the vehicle was stolen out of DeFuniak Springs and was purposely set on fire following the crash. Shortly after, a citizen notices a man sitting in his Jeep attempting to steal it at a home on Bob Sikes Road. The citizen detained the suspect, holding him at gunpoint until deputies arrived. The suspect, identified as Cody Dwayne Hynum, 30, was cuffed and put in the back of a patrol car. Following his arrest it was determined Hynum had also burglarized a carport and stolen a Ford pickup truck, which was disabled in the area. While deputies were working both crime scenes Hynum kicked out the rear driver’s side window and, still cuffed, was able to get out of the vehicle and gain access to the driver’s seat. The suspect fled the area and driving with his knees and chin drove down Woodyard Road. Hynum then hit a private citizen’s fence, drove down a driveway and struck a barrier at the end of the driveway. The suspect fled from the patrol vehicle into the woods and was tased and apprehended by deputies after a short foot pursuit. Hynum was charged with escape, two counts of grand theft auto with damages over $1,000, two counts of burglary, larceny over a $1,000, criminal mischief over $1,000, resisting arrest with violence, and fleeing and eluding. He was taken to a local hospital to be evaluated and later booked into the Walton County Jail. Additional charges may be added. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jae Re: Name in the jokes Dear Webby My name as you know is Jae. I love your humor letter a lot, i subscribed because my dad had been subscribed ages ago and would tell us some of the jokes you had. One day i decided i just had to get in on this and subscribed. I have not been dissapointed yet. I love the pictures that get included and all the jokes are just epic (although we have to agree that the bonehead award winners are the biggest joke of all). One of my favourite things about it is you use my name in it a couple of times so i love that a lot. Sorry for a long email but just wanted to say thank you and to tell you that everyday you bring a smile to a one legged boy who really needs to smile every now and then. Jae Dear Jae Good for you! That shows you are one of the smart ones. Unfortunately about 10 % of the subscribers did not put their first or nickname into the First Name slot, left it blank or put their full name ito it. A joke falls flat if the name is missing, or if the hero in the joke is Mrs Ernerstine Heather Slivowitz-Brownbottom III I use the same code as with the greeting at the top. There is no way to edit that for thousands every day. If your subscription does not have the correct first name or nickname, hit REPLY and type the correct first name or nickname, that you want to see in the Good Morning greeting at the top. I will edit your subscription. No need to unsubscribe and re-subscribe. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Diana for this story: While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pressure Cooker Mongolian Beef By Judy Pariser S. [257 Posts, 1,596 Comments] Prep Time: 20 minutes Cook Time: 20 minutes Total Time: 40 minutes Yield: 6 servings Source: Instant Pot Community group on Facebook Ingredients: 2 lb flank steak, cut into 1/4 strips 1 Tbsp vegetable oil 4 cloves garlic, minced or pressed 1/2 cup soy sauce 1/2 cup water 2/3 cup dark brown sugar (I used 1/3 cup Truvia brown sugar blend) 1/2 tsp minced fresh ginger 2 Tbsp cornstarch 3 Tbsp water 3 green onions, sliced into 1-inch pieces Steps: Make sure your vegetables are all cut up and your sauce is made. This recipe requires you to work quickly. Season the cut beef with salt and pepper. cut garlic and onions flank steak cut in strips Make the sauce and reserve for later. Add soy sauce, water, brown sugar and ginger. Stir to combine. Put oil in bottom of pot. Saute the beef in batches. Don't crowd. Move the beef to a plate when done. Add the garlic and saute for 1 minute. Add the sauce you made earlier. Add the beef and any juices. Lock the lid. Pressure cook on high for 12 minutes. Quick release. Combine the cornstarch and water and mix thoroughly. Simmer the sauce and add the cornstarch and water, stirring often until the sauce thickens. Stir in the green onions and serve.
the Wilhelm Scream Compilation
____________________________________________________ After watching a rather hot love scene on cable, Bob looked over at his wife Shirley and said, "How come you never make love to me like that?" "Are you kidding me?", she replied. "She gets paid big money to act like she loves him!" ___________________________________________________
These ancient ceramic whistling bottles have been dated as far back as ca. 500 BC.
Thanks to Jimmie for this story: In search of a new shower for our home, my wife and I went to a bathroom-supply store. We discussed our needs with a young saleswoman. Since it was near closing time, we had to curtail our discussion and made plans to come back the next day to make our final decision. Later that evening, my wife and I were at a restaurant, where the same young lady from the bathroom-supply store was now working a shift as a waitress. As she passed our table, she suddenly recognized us and called to me in a loud voice, "HEY! YOU'RE THE MAN WHO NEEDS A SHOWER!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 9
1454 Amerigo Vespucci was born in Florence, Italy. Matthias
Ringmann, a German mapmaker, named the American continent in
his honor. 

1617 The Treaty of Stolbovo ended the occupation of Northern
Russia by Swedish troops. 

1734 The Russians took Danzig (Gdansk) in Poland. 

1745 The first carillon was shipped from England to Boston,
MA. 

1793 Jean Pierre Blanchard made the first balloon flight in
North America. The event was witnessed by U.S. President
George Washington. 

1796 Napoleon Bonaparte and Josephine de Beauharnais were
married. They were divorced in 1809. 

1799 The U.S. Congress contracted with Simeon North, of
Berlin, CT, for 500 horse pistols at the price of $6.50
each. 

1812 Swedish Pomerania was seized by Napoleon. 

1820 The U.S. Congress passed the Land Act that paved the
way for westward expansion of North America. 

1822 Charles M. Graham received the first patent for
artificial teeth. 

1832 Abraham Lincoln announced that he would run for a
political office for the first time. He was unsuccessful in
his run for a seat in the Illinois state legislature. 

1839 The French Academy of Science announced the
Daguerreotype photo process. 

1858 Albert Potts was awarded a patent for the letter box. 

1859 The National Association of Baseball Players adopted
the rule that limited the size of bats to no more than 2-1/2
inches in diameter. 

1860 The first Japanese ambassador to the U.S. was
appointed. 

1862 During the U.S. Civil War, the ironclads Monitor and
Virginia fought to a draw in a five-hour battle at Hampton
Roads, Virginia. 

1863 General Ulysses Grant was appointed commander-in-chief
of the Union forces. 

1897 A patent was issued to William Spinks and William
Hoskins for cue chalk. 

1900 In Germany, women petition Reichstag for the right to
take university entrance exams. 

1905 In Egypt, U.S. archeologist Davies discovered the royal
tombs of Tua and Yua. 

1905 In Manchuria, Japanese troops surrounded 200,000
Russian troops that were retreating from Mudken. 

1905 In Congo, Belgian Vice Gov. Costermans committed
suicide following an investigation of colonial policy. 

1906 In the Philippines, fifteen Americans and 600 Moros
were killed in the last two days of fighting. 

1909 The French National Assembly passed an income tax bill.


1910 Union men urged for a national sympathy strike for
miners in Pennsylvania. 

1911 The funding for five new battleships was added to the
British military defense budget. 

1916 Mexican raiders led by Pancho Villa attacked Columbus,
New Mexico. 17 people were killed by the 1,500 horsemen. 

1929 Eric Krenz became the first athlete to toss the discus
over 160 feet. 

1932 Eamon De Valera was elected president of the Irish Free
State and pledged to abolish all loyalty to the British
Crown. 

1933 The U.S. Congress began its 100 days of enacting New
Deal legislation. 

1936 The German press warned that all Jews who vote in the
upcoming elections would be arrested. 

1945 During World War II, U.S. B-29 bombers launched
incendiary bomb attacks against Japan. 

1946 The A.F.L. accused Juan Peron of using the army to
establish a dictatorship over Argentine labor. 

1949 The first all-electric dining car was placed in service
on the Illinois Central Railroad. 

1956 British authorities arrested and deported Archbishop
Makarios from Cyprus. He was accused of supporting
terrorists. 

1957 Egyptian leader Nasser barred U.N. plans to share the
tolls for the use of the Suez Canal. 

1959 Mattel introduced Barbie at the annual Toy Fair in New
York. 

1964 Production began on the first Ford Mustang. 

1965 The first U.S. combat troops arrived in South Vietnam. 

1967 Svetlana Alliluyeva, Josef Stalin's daughter defected
to the United States. 

1969 "The Smothers Brothers' Comedy Hour" was canceled by
CBS-TV. 

1975 Work began on the Alaskan oil pipeline. 

1975 Iraq launched an offensive against the rebel Kurds. 

1977 About a dozen armed Hanafi Muslims invaded three
buildings in Washington, DC. They killed one person and took
more than 130 hostages. The siege ended two days later. 

1983 The official Soviet news agency TASS says that U.S.
President Reagan is full of "bellicose lunatic anti-
communism." 

1985 "Gone With The Wind" went on sale in video stores
across the U.S. for the first time. 

1986 U.S. Navy divers found the crew compartment of the
space shuttle Challenger along with the remains of the
astronauts. 

1987 Chrysler Corporation offered to buy American Motors
Corporation. 

1989 The U.S. Senate rejected John Tower as a choice for a
cabinet member. It was the first rejection in 30 years. 

1989 In Maylasia, 30 Asian nations conferred on the issue of
"boat people." 

1989 In the U.S., a strike forced Eastern Airlines into
bankruptcy. 

1989 In the U.S., President George H.W. Bush urged for a
mandatory death penalty in drug-related killings. 

1993 Rodney King testified at the federal trial of four Los
Angeles police officers accused of violating his civil
rights. (California) 

1995 The Canadian Navy arrested a Spanish trawler for
illegally fishing off of Newfoundland. 

2000 In Norway, the coalition government of Kjell Magne
Bondevik resigned as a result of an environmental dispute. 

2017  smiled.


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How to dump obsolete FaceBook accounts 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Georgia vegetarian jailed for playing chicken against a
chicken truck 
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 8 in
1618 Johann Kepler discovered the third Law of Planetary Motion.
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear. --- Herbert Agar How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away. --- Ronald Reagan ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A large, well-established Oregon lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe and knocked on the head lumberjack's door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. "I'm Pee-aire Thibboduce frem Keebeck, best lumberguy dis side of Moh-reall! Jesst gimme a schonce to show you what ha real lumberguy can do," said the skinny man. "Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down." The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut down de tree," Pierre said. The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?" "In de Sahara Forest," replied the puny man. "You mean the Sahara Desert ?" asked the lumberjack. The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh fer sure, tha'ss what dey call it now!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Judith Moriah Armstrong, 26, Hull, Madison County, Georgia Georgia vegetarian jailed for playing chicken against a chicken truck A Georgia woman who was arrested for allegedly purposely crashing her car into the side of a truck carrying a load of chickens told police she did so because she’s a vegan. Veganism is the practice of not eating or using in other ways any animal product; they object to exploiting animals. The incident occurred Feb. 21 on Georgia Highway 72 in Hull, Georgia in the northeastern part of the state near Athens. According to media reports, the truck’s driver told police he was driving on the highway when a red car struck his vehicle. The driver said he put on the brakes and the car hit the truck again before leaving the scene. At the scene, the trucker described the collision and the car to police, who found a license plate in the debris. They eventually found the car and the woman at her home. Judith Moriah Armstrong, 26, refused to leave her house when police arrived. Law enforcement officials spoke with her through a window and she admitted to ramming the truck and leaving the scene. She also told police she hit the truck because she is a vegan. Armstrong was eventually taken into custody and faces charges for hit and run, aggressive driving, driving under the influence, and obstruction. Major Jeffrey Vaughn from the Madison County Sheriff’s office told the New York Post that, “She was protecting the life of those little baby chickens … she thought.” Vaughn added the chickens, none of which had been injured in the collision, had been picked up at a local farm and were in their way to a processing plant. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annette Re: Dump extra Facebook accounts Dear Webby I have 3 accounts that I dont know how to delete 2 of them. the only account I use is the one with my pic on it. Annette Dear Annette Log into the obsolete account, download or save anything, that is worth keeping, then go to https://www.facebook.com/help/delete_account and hit Delete My Account. You will have to answer a few "Do you really ..."questions, and then they will take care of it. Have FUN! DearWebby
"Did you see this? Yesterday a 4.2 earthquake shook Arkansas. Over 12000 cars were knocked off their blocks."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pressure Cooker Hard Boiled Eggs By Judy Pariser S. [256 Posts, 1,595 Comments] Prep Time: Less than 2 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes Total Time: 15 minutes Yield: As many eggs as you want Source: Instant Pot Community on Facebook Ingredients: eggs water Steps: Put 1 cup of water in the cooker. Get a bowl of ice water ready. You will need it at the end. Put your eggs on a trivet or steamer. You may stack the eggs, but make sure they don't touch the side of the pot or they will crack and some of the cooked egg will seep out. Lock the lid. Pressure cook for 5 minutes. Natural release for 5 minutes. Put the eggs into the ice water for 5 minutes. They will peel very easily. You can peel now or when you are ready to eat them. If you do not want the ugly grey boundary on the yolk, just put the eggs into boiling water with tongs, bring the water back up to a rolling boil, turn off the burner or move the pot off the fire, and put a lid on it. Let it steep for 5-6 minutes. Pour cold water into the pot and shake the pot vigorously to crack the shells a bit. As the eggs are cooling rapidly, they will pull some water under the shells and will be really easy to peel. Have FUN! DearWebby
The Day the Music Died - March 3
____________________________________________________ As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox. Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?" The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?" ___________________________________________________
People are awesome. The month of February 2017.
When three-year-old opened a birthday gift from Gramma and found a water pistol. There was delightful squealing and a sprint to the sink to fill it. Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Gramma and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Gramma smiled and then replied, "I remember." Just wait till you see open Grampa's present!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 8
1618 Johann Kepler discovered the third Law of Planetary
Motion. 

1702 England's Queen Anne took the throne upon the death of
King William III. 

1782 The Gnadenhutten massacre took place. About 90 Indians
were killed by militiamen in Ohio in retaliation for raids
carried out by other Indians. 

1853 The first bronze statue of Andrew Jackson is unveiled
in Washington, DC. 

1855 A train passed over the first railway suspension bridge
at Niagara Falls, NY. 

1862 The Confederate ironclad "Merrimack" was launched. 

1880 U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes declared that the
United States would have jurisdiction over any canal built
across the isthmus of Panama. 

1887 The telescopic fishing rod was patented by Everett
Horton. 

1894 A dog license law was enacted in the state of New York.
It was the first animal control law in the U.S. 

1904 The Bundestag in Germany lifted the ban on the Jesuit
order of priests. 

1905 In Russia, it was reported that the peasant revolt was
spreading to Georgia. 

1907 The British House of Commons turned down a women's
suffrage bill. 

1909 Pope Pius X lifted the church ban on interfaith
marriages in Hungary. 

1910 The King of Spain authorized women to attend
universities. 

1911 In Europe, International Women's Day was celebrated for
the first time. 

1911 British Minister of Foreign Affairs Edward Gray
declared that Britain would not support France in the event
of a military conflict. 

1917 Russia's "February Revolution" began with rioting and
strikes in St. Petersburg. The revolution was called the
"February Revolution" due to Russia's use of the Old Style
calendar. 

1917 The U.S. Senate voted to limit filibusters by adopting
the cloture rule. 

1921 Spanish Premier Eduardo Dato was assassinated while
leaving the Parliament in Madrid. 

1921 After WWI French troops occupied Dusseldorf. 

1933 Self-liquidating scrip money was issued for the first
time at Franklin, IN. 

1941 Martial law was proclaimed in Holland in order to
extinguish any anti-Nazi protests. 

1942 During World War II, Japanese forces captured Rangoon,
Burma. 

1943 Japanese forces attacked American troops on Hill 700 in
Bougainville. The battle lasted five days. 

1945 Phyllis Mae Daley received a commission in the U.S.
Navy Nurse Corps. She later became the first African-
American nurse to serve duty in World War II. 

1946 In New York City, the "Journal American" became the
first commercial business to receive a helicopter license. 

1946 The French naval fleet arrived at Haiphong, Vietnam. 

1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that religious instruction
in public schools was unconstitutional. 

1953 A census bureau report indicated that 239,000 farmers
had quit farming over the last 2 years. 

1954 France and Vietnam opened talks in Paris on a treaty to
form the state of Indochina. 

1959 Groucho, Chico and Harpo made their final TV appearance
together. 

1961 Max Conrad circled the globe in a record time of eight
days, 18 hours and 49 minutes in the Piper Aztec. 

1965 The U.S. landed about 3,500 Marines in South Vietnam.
They were the first U.S. combat troops to land in Vietnam. 

1966 Australia announced that it would triple the number of
troops in Vietnam. 

1973 Two bombs exploded near Trafalgar Square in Great
Britain. 234 people were injured. 

1982 The U.S. accused the Soviets of killing 3,000 Afghans
with poison gas. 

1985 The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) reported that
407,700 Americans were millionaires. That was more than
double the total from just five years before. 

1986 Four French television crew members were abducted in
west Beirut. All four were eventually released. 

1988 In Fort Campbell, KY, 17 U.S. soldiers were killed when
two Army helicopters collided in midair. 

1989 In Lhasa, Tibet, martial law was declared after three
days of protest against Chinese rule. 

1999 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the conviction of Timothy
McVeigh for the bombing of a federal building in Oklahoma
City in 1995. 

1999 The White House, under President Bill Clinton, directed
the firing of nuclear scientist Wen Ho Lee from his job at
the Los Alamos National Laboratory. The firing was a result
of alleged security violations. 

2001 The U.S. House of Representatives voted for an across-
the-board tax cut of nearly $1 trillion over the next
decade. 

2005 In norther Chechnya, Chechen rebel leader Aslan
Maskhadov was killed during a raid by Russian forces.

2017  smiled.


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Driver update Pop-Up scam 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Singapore teen jumps to his death in reported snapchat stunt
by hopping over a glass barrier and through a decoration
down 4 floors.
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 7 in
1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before
the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to
operate automobiles."  
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. --- Gail Godwin An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. --- Simon Cameron ------------ That is why you just lease them nowadays. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business! The CEO walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Unflinching, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay; now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?" Just then the foreman comes into the room with his wallet in his hand. He looks around and says, "Hey! Did the pizza delivery guy leave without his tip ?" ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vi for this story. George, age 92, and Edith, age 89, had been seeing each other for 2 years when they decided that life was too short and they might as well be together for the rest of their lives. Excited about their decision to become newlyweds, they went for a stroll to discuss the wedding and what plans need to be made. Along their way, they found themselves in front of a drugstore. George said to his bride-to-be, "Let's go in. I have an idea." They walked to the rear of the store and addressed the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" asked George. The pharmacist answered, "Yes sir, I am. How can I help you?" George: "Do you sell heart medications?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." George: "How about support hose for circulation?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." George: "What about medications for rheumatism, osteoporosis & arthritis?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." George: "How about waterproof furniture pads and Depends?" Pharmacist: "Yes sir." George: "Hearing aids, denture supplies & reading glasses?" Pharmacist: "Yes." George: "What about eye drops, sleeping pills, Geritol, Preparation-H and ExLax?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." George: "You sell wheelchairs, walkers, and canes?" Pharmacist: "All kinds and sizes. Why all these questions?" George smiled, glanced shyly at Edith and replied to the pharmacist, "We've decided to get married and we'd like to use your store as our Bridal Registry." -------- Good idea to avoid the usual 27 toasters and 11 toaster ovens from the Flea Market. Unless you craft a personal gift, the best idea is a coupon for a fixed amount payment to be put onto their credit cards. Dont give cash in envelopes if more than 5 guests are expected. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Jonathan Chow, 17, Singapore Singapore teen jumps to his death in reported snapchat stunt by hopping over a glass barrier and through a decoration down 4 floors. He thought he was jumping onto a concrete ledge, his friend says. One teen reportedly leapt to his death in Singapore after attempting a Snapchat stunt that went tragically wrong. Jonathan Chow, 17, jumped over a barrier and fell four floors at Singapore’s Orchard Central mall Friday, The Straits Times reported. Footage leaked from the mall’s closed-circuit television, which made its rounds on the internet Tuesday, appears to show Chow and a girl standing next to a railing in the mall. Chow jumps over the railing while the girl raises her arm, as if she’s recording the jump with a phone. Then she appears to panic and peers over the railing. Orchard Central confirmed the authenticity of the 15-second video to The Straits Times.
A girl who identified herself only as Ruth to local media said she was there when Chow jumped. Ruth said she and Chow were shopping at the mall and “when we went to the bridge, he came up with the idea of doing the stunt,” she told Today Online, a Singapore news website, during Chow’s wake. Ruth explained that there was a ledge past the railing that appeared to be concrete. They were both supposed to leap onto the ledge and record each other. “We both thought the ledge was concrete, but when he jumped, he fell straight through,” Ruth told Today Online. The ledge was made of a decorative plasterboard casing and was not meant to bear weight, The Straits Times reported. According to Ruth, Chow’s last words were, “Help me take a Snapchat video and I’ll jump.” Far East Organization, the retail business that owns Orchard Central, said in a statement that the glass railing along the bridge is 1.2 meters (3.9 feet), “acts as a safety barrier” for the public and “prohibits access to the plasterboard box-up,” according to Today Online. Chow’s father, however, called for more safety measures at Orchard Central. “The [decorative structure] was wide enough to look like a passageway, and there was no warning sign to tell people that it should not be walked on,” Matthew Chow told The Straits Times. “We don’t want other families to go through what we went through.”
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Randal Re: Driver Update PopUp Dear Webby Hope this finds you in good spirits and your eyes in good condition. My questions for you this morning is about free drivers updates? Every morning i get hit with a screen saying my drivers need to be updated and when i went thru all of the screens i got to a credit card screen well i just kindly back my way out of there. My question is there a free driver update service? any knowledge on this subject would be greatly appreciated... Have a great week... Randy Dear Randy Your computer is infected. You don't need drivers, you need Malwarebytes and clean that infection out of your machine. Drivers are totally free. You simply go to the company site of whatever driver you need, for example the printer manufacturer, click on Drivers, Download. They are all totally free. Many devices do that automatically, when you connect them the first time. What you get bugged with is some crooks, who want your credit card data. Get rid of them! Have FUN! DearWebby
Here is a classic that came back via Jolly: It was Palm Sunday, and the mother's 3 year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what they were for. His mother explained, "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by." "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, and Jesus shows up!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Toilet Paper Tube Seedling Pots A great way to recycle toilet paper tubes is to use them as containers to start vegetable and flower seeds for garden plants. This is a guide about toilet paper tube seedling pots. Supplies: toilet paper tubes scissors Steps: Cut the TP tube in half. Then make 4 cuts that are approx. 1/2 in., creating 4 flaps of equal size. Fold one flap inward, then working clockwise, fold the other flaps down. Tuck the corner of the last flap under the corner of the first flap. (Like when you are closing a cardboard box.) Turn them over and gently press them down on a flat surface so make the bottoms flat, so that they will stay upright. Turn them over, fill with soil, and plant your seeds. Once the seeds have sprouted and are ready to go into the ground, just plant them with the pot. The cardboard will disintegrate in the soil.
car curling
____________________________________________________ A chemistry teacher wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. "Now, class. Observe the worms closely," said the teacher putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a door nail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the teacher asked. , who naturally sat at the back, raised a hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms." ___________________________________________________
Beautiful bouquets made from old silverware. It was hard for me to pick a favorite.
There was this guy in a mental hospital. All day long he had his ear to the wall, listening. The Dr. Cohen would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah doc, I know. It's been like that for months."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 7
0322 BC Aristotle, the Greek philosopher, died. 

1774 The British closed the port of Boston to all commerce. 

1799 In Palestine, Napoleon captured Jaffa and his men
massacred more than 2,000 Albanian prisoners. 

1848 In Hawaii, the Great Mahele was signed. 

1849 The Austrian Reichstag was dissolved. 

1854 Charles Miller received a patent for the sewing
machine. 

1876 Alexander Graham Bell received a patent (U.S. Patent
No. 174,465) for his telephone. 

1901 It was announced that blacks had been found enslaved in
parts of South Carolina. 

1904 The Japanese bombed the Russian town of Vladivostok. 

1904 In Springfield, OH, a mob broke into a jail and shot a
black man accused of murder. 

1906 Finland granted women the right to vote. 

1908 Cincinnati's Mayor Leopold Markbreit announced before
the city council that, "Women are not physically fit to
operate automobiles." 

1911 Willis Farnworth patented the coin-operated locker. 

1911 In the wake of the Mexican Revolution, the U.S. sent
20,000 troops to the border of Mexico. 

1918 Finland signed an alliance treaty with Germany to get
Germany to protect them from Russia. 

1925 The Soviet Red Army occupied Outer Mongolia. 

1927 A Texas law that banned Negroes from voting was ruled
unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1933 The board game Monopoly was invented. 

1935 Malcolm Campbell set an auto speed record of 276.8 mph
in Florida. 

1936 Hitler sent German troops into the German Rhineland in
violation of the Locarno Pact and the Treaty of Versailles. 
The German Rhineland had been given to France after WWI.

1942 Japanese troops landed on New Guinea. 

1945 At the end of World War II, U.S. forces crossed the
Rhine River at Remagen, Germany after bombing the area back
into the stone age. 

1947 John L. Lewis declared that only a totalitarian regime
could prevent strikes. 

1951 U.N. forces in Korea under General Matthew Ridgeway
launched Operation Ripper against the Chinese. 

1954 Russia appeared for the first time in ice-hockey
competition. Russia defeated Canada 7-2 to win the world
ice-hockey title in Stockholm, Sweden. 

1955 Baseball commissioner Ford Frick said that he was in
favor of legalizing the spitball. 

1959 Melvin C. Garlow became the first pilot to fly over a
million miles in jet airplanes. 

1965 State troopers and a sheriff's posse broke up a march
by civil rights demonstrators in Selma, AL. 

1968 The Battle of Saigon came to an end. 

1971 A thousand U.S. planes bombed Cambodia and Laos. 

1975 The U.S. Senate revised the filibuster rule. The new
rule allowed 60 senators to limit debate instead of the
previous two-thirds. 

1981 Anti-government guerrillas in Colombia executed the
kidnapped American Bible translator Chester Allen Bitterman.
The guerrillas accused Bitterman of being a CIA agent. 

1985 The first AIDS antibody test, an ELISA-type test, was
released. 

1987 Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight titleholder
when he beat James Smith in a decision during a 12-round
fight in Las Vegas, NV. 

1989 Poland accused the Soviet Union of a World War II
massacre in Katyn. The Russians had accused the Germans but
had to admit it in the face of evidence. They had rounded up
all Polish officers, University and college graduates and
executed them in the Katyn forest.
Eventually they built a memorial for them and invited all
kinds of Polish politicians and intelligentsia to attend the
grand dedication of the memorial. That plane nysteriously
crashed, killing all aboard.

1994 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that parodies that poke
fun at an original work can be considered "fair use" that
does not require permission from the copyright holder. 

1994 In Moldova, a referendum was rejected by 90% of voters
to form a union with Rumania. 

1999 In El Salvador, Francisco Flores Pérez of the ruling
Nationalist Republican Alliance (Arena) was elected
president. 

2002 A federal judge awarded Anna Nicole Smith more than $88
million in damages. The ruling was the latest in a legal
battle over the estate of Smith's late husband, J. Howard
Marshall II. Her lawyers got most of that.

2003 Scientists at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center
announced that they had transferred 6.7 gigabytes of
uncompressed data from Sunnvale, CA, to Amsterdam,
Netherlands, in 58 seconds. The data was sent via fiber-
optic cables and traveled 6,800 miles. 

2009 NASA's Kepler Mission, a space photometer for searching
for extrasolar planets in the Milky Way galaxy, was launched
from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida. 

2017  smiled.


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Mysterious computer shut-downs 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, March 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Miami Man Arrested For Transporting Over 350 Pounds 
of Marijuana Near Fort Myers
Details at  Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 6 in
1836 - The thirteen-day siege of the Alamo by Santa Ana and
his army ended. The Mexican army of three thousand men
defeated the 189 Texas volunteers. 
 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. --- Rita Rudner An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. --- Simon Cameron "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." --- Socratex It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. --- Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Tony, having his second son christened, was much concerned about getting the correct name on the birth certificate. "Will you, please, name the baby just as I give it to you?" "Certainly," answered the minister, "why shouldn't I?" "Well you see, it's like this," replied Tony. "When I told you I wanted to name my first boy Tom, you added "AS" and wrote on his birth certificate 'Thomas.' This boy I want to name Jack." ______________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make? God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon answered, "Yeah, but God won't tell my wife." ______________________________________________________ Chinese woodpecker, by James Tsao, China ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carlos Aguilar, 51, Fort Myers, Florida Miami Man Arrested For Transporting Over 350 Pounds of Marijuana Near Fort Myers A Miami man is behind bars in Southwest Florida after police found him driving a van with over $1 million worth of marijuana inside. According to NBC affiliate WBBH-TV, officers from the Lee County Sheriff’s Office were trying to pull over a van on I- 75 in North Fort Myers for illegal window tint when it took off. The driver later stopped in a wooded area before fleeing the vehicle. Inside, deputies found 11 bags of what they say was freshly harvested marijuana weighing it at 355 pounds. Officers later found the driver, 51-year-old Carlos Aguilar in the woods and arrested him. Aguilar is charged with multiple counts, including drug trafficking and resisting arrest. He remains in custody on a $36,500 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Merv Re: Computer keeps shutting down Dear Webby Hi dear Webby, I had this problem too. My computer kept on shutting down and restarting. I took it to my computer man and he said I had a faulty power supply. He replaced the power supply and I never had the problem again. I hope this helps. Kind regards, Merv. Dear Merv Yes, a bad power supply will cause that too. Because they have a capacitor in there for taming the sine wave from the AC, that is big enough to knock amateurs into next week, they are riveted or spot-welded shut. Luckily they are cheap enough that it is cheaper to replace them than to try and clean the dust bunnies out or to replace the fan inside them. It is quite rare nowadays that a power supply fails. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past a row of empty shopping carts when the middle aged cart-girl standing there called after him, "Excuse me, don't you want a cart?" "Nah," he answered. "I'm only after one thing." As he walked into the store, he heard her murmur, "Typical male!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Berry Overnight Oats By Judy Pariser S. [253 Posts, 1,554 Comments] Breakfast makes itself in the refrigerator overnight! Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: None - chill overnight in refrigerator Total Time: 8 hours Yield: 1 very large serving. It was 2 servings for me. Source: Quaker Website By Judy Pariser S. [253 Posts, 1,554 Comments] Vote for this contest contender! Breakfast makes itself in the refrigerator overnight! An inexpensive and easy recipe, and a great way to recycle any jars you have. Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: None - chill overnight in refrigerator Total Time: 8 hours Yield: 1 very large serving. It was 2 servings for me. Source: Quaker Website Berry Overnight Oats in bowl Ingredients: 1/2 cup regular oats 1/2 cup nonfat milk (I used cashew milk) 1/2 cup nonfat plain Greek yogurt 1 tsp chia seeds (I substituted flax meal) 1 cup fresh berries/fruit (I used frozen-fresh is better) Steps: Add the oats to a jar. Pour in milk. Layer the yogurt, seeds and berries. Chill overnight in the refrigerator. Stir and serve. I added a bit of cinnamon to mine.
Unchained Melody on Pan Flute (beautiful)
____________________________________________________ Thanks to LadyDi for this one: Build me one of these triangles! ___________________________________________________
look inside abandoned cooling towers.
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. “Darling, it was just a shark,” said his wife when he came to. “You’ve got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere.”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________

Today on March 6
1521 Ferdinand Magellan discovered Guam. 

1820 The Missouri Compromise was enacted by the U.S.
Congress and signed by U.S. President James Monroe. The act
admitted Missouri into the Union as a slave state, but
prohibited slavery in the rest of the northern Louisiana
Purchase territory. 

1834 The city of York in Upper Canada was incorporated as
Toronto. 

1836 The thirteen-day siege of the Alamo by Santa Ana and
his army ended. The Mexican army of three thousand men
defeated the 189 Texas volunteers. 

1857 The U.S. Supreme Court's Dred Scott decision ruled that
blacks could not sue in federal court to be citizens. 

1899 Aspirin was patented by German researchers Felix
Hoffman and Hermann Dreser. 

1900 In West Virginia, an explosion trapped 50 coal miners
underground. 

1901 An assassin tried to kill Wilhelm II of Germany in
Bremen. 

1907 British creditors of the Dominican Republic claimed
that the U.S. had failed to collect debts. 

1928 A Communist attack on Peking, China resulted in 3,000
dead and 50,000 fled to Swatow. 

1939 In Spain, Jose Miaja took over the Madrid government
after a military coup and vowed to seek "peace with honor." 

1944 During World War II, U.S. heavy bombers began the first
American raid on Berlin. Allied planes dropped 2000 tons of
bombs onto civilians.

1946 Ho Chi Minh, the President of Vietnam, struck an
agreement with France that recognized his country as an
autonomous state within the Indochinese Federation and the
French Union. 

1947 Winston Churchill announced that he opposed British
troop withdrawals from India. 

1947 The first air-conditioned naval ship, "The Newport
News," was launched from Newport News, VA. 

1957 The British African colonies of the Gold Coast and
Togoland became the independent state of Ghana. 

1960 Switzerland granted women the right to vote in
municipal elections. 

1960 The United States announced that it would send 3,500
troops to Vietnam. 

1967 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announced his plan to
establish a draft lottery. 

1970 Charles Manson released his album "Lies" to finance his
defense against murder charges. 

1973 U.S. President Richard Nixon imposed price controls on
oil and gas. 

1975 Iran and Iraq announced that they had settled their
border dispute. 

1980 Islamic militants in Tehran said that they would turn
over American hostages to the Revolutionary Council. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan announced a plan to cut 37,000
federal jobs. 

1983 The United States Football League began its first
season of pro football competition. 

1985 Yul Brynner played his his 4,500th performance in the
musical "The King and I." 

1987 The British ferry Herald of Free Enterprise capsized in
the Channel off the coast of Belgium. 189 people died. 

1990 The Russian Parliament passed a law that sanctioned the
ownership of private property. 

1991 In Paris, five men were jailed for plotting to smuggle
Libyan arms to the Irish Republican Army. 

1997 A gunman stole "Tete de Femme," a million-dollar
Picasso portrait, from a London gallery. The painting was
recovered a week later. 

1997 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II launched the first
official royal Web site. 

1998 A Connecticut state lottery accountant gunned down
three supervisors and the lottery chief before killing
himself.

2017  smiled.


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