Can you convert movies to printable images? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 31, 2010
Memorial Day in the US

If you cannot convince them, confuse them. --- Harry S Truman On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time. --- George Orwell
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a group of half dozen or so officers that included personnel from most of the countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked: "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?" Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."
Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" The man replied, "That's one benefit of owning the company."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Major Lee Barnes, 19, of Fort Pierce, Florida Rapist / Robber shot with his own gun Major Lee Barnes, a 19-year-old Fort Pierce man, was jailed Monday after he allegedly forced a woman to perform oral sex on him, which resulted in her shooting him with his own gun. According to Fort Pierce police, Barnes was riding his bike when he approached a woman who was on a walk around midnight Friday. Investigators say Barnes offered to pay the woman for sex. When she declined, he pointed a handgun at her and forced her to remove her pants. He searched her private area for money, stole her cell phone, then made her get on her knees and perform oral sex on him. While the victim followed her attacker's instructions, she noticed Barnes had relaxed and placed the gun in his pocket. In a moment of sheer bravery, she grabbed for the gun and shot at her attacker, who fled the scene. She was unsure if she hit him, but saw him lean over his right leg as if she did. She was able to flag down police, and filed a report against Barnes. Barnes was later taken to the hospital by friends with a gunshot wound to his right leg. At first, he told officers that he was an innocent bystander caught in the middle of a shooting. Later, he changed his statement, claiming he was shot by an unnamed assailant after finding a gun. Barnes was booked into the St. Lucie County jail and charged with sexual battery, robbery with a firearm, and possession of a weapon by a convicted felon. He remains jailed in lieu of $1,050,000 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank RE: Convert movies to images Dear Webby, My wife has a Cannon Powershot SD1200 IS camera. Inadvertently the switch was on record instead of Auto. Pictures of our grandchildren last week are MVI_02161.AVI instead of IMG_0261.JPG. Can I convert to a JPG? If so how? We want to get prints made but the IMG's won't show on the picture printer at the store. You help is greatly appreciated as always. Let's remember our Veterans on Memorial Day. Peace Frank Dear Frank Movies are a sequence of low resolution and small size pictures. You CAN freeze-frame movies and screen capture a frame, but you have to be quite desperate to actually print them. That is the same for all cameras. Even for cinema movies, the cover stills and poster stills are shot with a different camera, and are not a frame snatched from the sequence. About the only time snatched frames are used for print is when a security camera catches a good shot of a crook. You probably have seen examples, and how low the picture quality is. With a movie or TV, our eyes fill in for a lot. With a still image that does not happen. Best to just invite the grandchildren over again, and redo the pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "Called in SICK yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Recycled Containers for Lunches I was eating some applesauce and yogurt today, and while stacking them together for rinsing and recycling, I had this amazing idea. If you filled the yogurt cup 1/2 full of water and froze it, you could fill the applesauce cup with fruit, pudding, yogurt, dip, dressing, ice cream, or even applesauce! It will stay cold, and once the ice begins to melt, the cup will stay on top as the lips are almost a perfect match! Perfect for parties, picnics, and BBQs! By Poor But Proud from Salem, OR http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Yoghurt and cream cheese containers are just the perfect size for rhubarb or fruit. When I have some fruit, that is getting a bit past it's prime but still good enough to go with pancakes or as dumpling filling, I cut it up and put it into those small containers and toss them into the freezer. For thawing, I upend the container into a saucer or small bowl. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30 p.m. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dangit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose EVERYTHING?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway. This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple and snuggle? Where did the love go, honey?" Her question was met with a few moments of silence while he threw quick glances at his hands on the steering wheel. Then he quietly replied, "I haven't moved."

» Strain the brain
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Monitor for laptop 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, May 30, 2010

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. --- Mark Twain For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. --- Bob Wells "A man paints with his brains and not with his hands." --- Michelangelo
Found this in the archive: Thanks to the Folks from Erie for this one: WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely And so does my lawn. I think I might never Put my glasses back on.
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
Sorry, Ma'am!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Makele G. Habtom, 29 in Fairfax, Virginia Sent in by Jacqueline Va. bank robber stuck around in parking lot after robbery Published May 29, 2010| Associated Press ALEXANDRIA, Va. (AP) — Police in Virginia say a man who robbed a bank in Fairfax County was still standing around in the parking lot with his loot when officers arrived. The Washington Post reported that twenty-nine-year-old Makele G. Habtom was arrested and charged with robbery on Thursday. Habtom allegedly walked into a BB&T bank branch bank, demanded money, and walked out with an undisclosed sum. Police arrived three minutes later and found the unarmed suspect in the parking lot. They could not explain why the man stuck around.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: David RE: Monitor for laptop Dear Webby, Like you, I can't find a laptop with a proper screen, just the sawed off stuff. What is involved in order to use a regular old CRT monitor with a laptop? David Dear David You simply plug the CRT monitor into the back of the laptop, and of course also to an electrical outlet. Then rightclick on the desktop, Properties, Settings. In there you can select the monitor and increase the resolution. You do exactly the same if you use an LD monitor. Due to high demand, 1600 x 1200 LCD monitors have increased in price, since I last wrote about them, but with some googling you can still find a few for under $200. Have FUN! DearWebby
Joe was hospitalized for a few days, and his wife reported that his dog really missed him. "She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an example of true love," he replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," his wife answered, as she grabbed the rolling pin, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shampoo for Ring Around the Collar Got ring around the collar? I've found that since the stain is basically caused by the same body oils that make our hair greasy, why not use shampoo to clean that greasy stain on our collars? I keep a cheap brand of shampoo over my washer, and pre-treat the collar ring with it. It does a great job! Small sample bottles or ones that have accumulated from many hotel visits are also a good source for the shampoo. By Sandy from Elon, NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another male chauvinist pig trying to keep suppressing the independence of a woman by implying she is obligated to be grateful for a lousy seat", and she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up.Finally, the man says, "Lady, you'll have to go molest somebody else now. I'm two miles past my stop already and got to get off the bus."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?" The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing." The wife says, "Six and a half weeks."

» Hulls Up
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Ezinefinder problems 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 29, 2010

Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. --- Foster's Law We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems. --- John W. Gardner
A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He looked at her soberly for a time. "I know this must hurt," she said, trying to soften the blow. "Oh, it's not that," he said. "It's just that I wasn't planning on spending quite that much."
The woman yelled at her husband, "You're gonna be really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!" He responded, "Make up your mind! Which one is it gonna be?"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dean Rockmore, 49 in Deland, Florida Life for stealing socks Daytona Beach, Florida (The Weekly Vice) - Dean Rockmore, a 49-year-old Florida man, was sentenced to life in prison Friday after stealing $4 worth of socks from an area Wal-Mart proved that he is incorrigible. According to the Deland Police Department, Rockmore was observed by a loss-prevention security officer trying to steal a T-shirt and socks by stuffing them into his pants, back in March. Investigators say when Rockmore ran from the store, the officer followed. The employee backed off when Rockmore revealed a gun while telling the employee "Let it be, you don't want none." Rockmore ditched the T-shirt but got away with the socks. Rockmore had been out of prison for two months when he stole the socks valued at $4. He was found guilty of robbery with a firearm during his trial in April. The Circuit Judge found Rockmore qualified as a prison-release re-offender. Rockmore has a record in Volusia County dating to 1980 which includes Arson, Aggravated Assault on a Firefighter/Paramedic, trafficking stolen merchandise and forgery. He was released from Florida Department of Corrections in January 2009 after spending four years in jail for battery on a law-enforcement officer.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne RE: Ezinefinder not working Dear Webby, Maybe your drop in votes is due to the problems at the Ezinefinder. It has been getting more and more erratic, and for the last few days in a row, I have not received the vote confirmation request. Judging by the stats at their site, their problem is definitely not too many votes or traffic. You are sending them more visitors than the rest of the newsletters together! So, what IS the problem? Dianne Dear Dianne The Ezinefinder is totally independent and not on one of our servers. Judging by the number of people who complain about voting problems and by the graph of the votes, they do seem to have problems, but there is nothing I can do about them. You can write to Lewis at support@cumuli.com and tell him. Have FUN! DearWebby
Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening. I'll never take her out again!" Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,''Stop,' and 'Don't!'"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Holiday Clearances All Year Round Here is a tip that you can use following any holiday, stock up! If you use paper plates and napkins, now is the time to stock up on those outdated, never to be used again graduation plates, napkins and paper cups. I purchase these for as little as 25 cents a package and use them for a BBQ at the lake or tailgating in the fall. Since we are going to throw them away any how, who cares if they are outdated. Stock up for next year's school party after Valentines or Easter. Put a festive napkin in your lunchbox to brighten your day around the holidays. Even paper table cloths make great wrapping paper for large, hard to wrap gift items (ie. bicycle). Happy Saving! By skibum1910 from Prospect, KY http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's three- year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband's voice on the other end say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A college student, noticeably pregnant, keeps rubbing her side during a final exam. Before she leaves, the professor asks if she is OK. "I noticed you were holding onto your side," he says. "Oh, I'm fine," she answers. "It's just that my baby was pushing his foot up and down my ribs, and it hurt a little." "Well, that's good," the professor says, feeling genuinely relieved. "Yes," she continues. "It's strange. We both normally sleep during your class."

» Wobbly Elephants
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Editing the Auto-Fill 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, May 28, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. --- Edison A true friend is one that lets his grass grow as tall as yours. --- Socratex
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And why not, darling?" "You know that you always have a headache next morning after wearing that suit!"
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that YOU won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the young guy replied. The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, "Alright. Get in."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Visitor at the birdbath
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a very drunk wife in Chaska, Minnesota Sent in by Ramona Drunk Wife Drives To Jail For Drunk Husband May 26, 2010 5:43 pm US/Central Cops: Drunk Wife Drives To Jail For Drunk Husband CHASKA, Minn. (WCCO) The Chaska Police Department said an intoxicated woman was arrested after driving to pick up her husband from jail, who had also been arrested for driving while intoxicated. Police say after the man was arrested and brought to Carver County Jail, his wife called dispatch asking what was happening to her husband. The operator told her he was being charged with fourth-degree DWI, had been booked in jail but could be released to a sober party. The wife told the dispatcher that she was too drunk to drive and that she would either take a cab or have a friend drive her to the jail. A few hours later, the wife called dispatch again and said she was driving in Chaska and needed directions to the jail. The dispatcher said she sounded more intoxicated than the previous call. The wife was given directions and the dispatcher notified police of her location. An officer quickly found the wife driving in the wrong lane of traffic on Fourth Street and onto Beech Street. The officer pulled her over and placed her under arrest, after she failed field sobriety evaluations. During a breathalyzer test, the wife blew a .300 BAC. She was taken to jail, where she requested to be placed in the same cell as her husband, so they could be together. The request was denied and she was placed in a detox facility.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon RE: Weeding out th Auto-Fill Dear Webby, Here I am again with nuisance question for you. When I go to some sites when it ask for the receiver I begin to type in the address & a drop down box comes up various addresses. I can click on it & not have to fill it all in. I like this except there are some older or wrong addresses in there & some I don't use anymore. Is there a way to clear this auto fill so I can start over again. I think you told us at some point how to do it but I don't remember. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your humor, pics & tips with us. I really do appreciate you. Have a purrfect day, Sharon Dear Sharon Just hover the mouse over a bad address, and hit the Delete key. You can weed out the auto-fill very quickly that way. No need to dump all of it. Have FUN! DearWebby
The doorbell rang and the little girl ran to open the door. In the doorway stood a man with a clipboard. He explained that he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how many were in the family. Walking to the door, drying her hands on her apron, the mother said, "Let's see. There's me and my husband, and my children: Tracy, Katherine, Amanda, Edward, Alfred, Martin . . ." The census taker interrupted, saying, "I'm not interested in the names, ma'am. The numbers will be enough." The little girl said, "We don't use numbers yet. So far we haven't run out of names yet!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tending Your Garden I want all of you to become familiar with "tending your garden." If you don't tend your garden, you won't get much of anything out of it. Lots more on that topic at: http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla Removers." He calls the number and the gorilla remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are you going to do", the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab the gorilla's groin and not let go. The gorilla will then be sidetracked enough for me to put a rope on him and winch him into the cage in the back of the van." So the guy puts the ladder up, gets the bat and the shotgun, and walks towards the ladder. As he gets to the base of the ladder, he hands the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park --the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonalds they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a theater to see Star Wars--more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."

» Earth Shots
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Accepting money over the net 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 27, 2010

The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post. --- L. Thomas Holdcroft Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Maggy had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen. A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had, while you were gone was confined to the kitchen."
The other day my neighbor was playing golf and saw an unusual thing. A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new set of golf clubs into the lake. A few minutes later he came back, waded into the lake, and retrieved his club bag. He proceeded to take his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs back into the water.
Thanks to Steve for this picture of the petroglyphs at Escalante, Utah. Steve was the climber I mentioned on May 5th, who gave me a helping hand on a tricky spot on the way up that cliff. He has a ton more pictures on his FB page. Just click on his picture to get there.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nathan Jay Seidel, 19 and Tyler Joseph McLaughin, 19 in Sioux falls, SD Two Sioux Falls men charged with robbery of pizza delivery man Two Sioux Falls men were jailed early this morning after a pizza delivery order turned into a robbery outside a central Sioux Falls apartment complex. A delivery driver for Boss' Pizza and Chicken left to deliver an order to an apartment complex on the 400 block of North Lake Avenue just after 3 a.m. Tuesday, police spokesman Sean Kooistra said. As he approached the building on foot, a man appeared with a gun and demanded cash. The driver handed over his money, two pizzas and his cell phone, but the robber dropped his handgun, Kooistra said. The driver picked it up and began to beat the robber as two other men jumped out from the bushes. One of them followed the driver back to his vehicle along with the robber, and tried to stop the car by jumping on the hood. The driver called police when he got back to the store. Officers found 21-year-old Nathan Jay Seidel and 19-year-old Tyler Joseph McLaughin outside the apartment building, surrounded by pizzas and loose cash, Kooistra said. Seidel, who was bleeding from the head, attempted to ride away on a bicycle, but fell over. McLaughlin tried to run, but police caught him. Both were arrested for first-degree robbery. A third man was interviewed and released. The gun, which the delivery man brought back to the store with him, was confiscated by police.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Anita RE: Socks via Internet Dear Webby, I read your advice about knitting socks. It is indeed pretty good money. A lot of people really appreciate and even demand knit socks instead of the mass produced Chinese socks that never fit. Especially diabetics need proper fitting socks without elastics, and are quite willing to pay a good price. I can see the need for having a site where people can order socks, but how to I get paid? Do I need one of those credit card accepting merchant accounts, that everybody cusses about? Which is the least crooked one? Thanks Anita Dear Anita Fortunately you don't really need a credit card accepting merchant account any more, unles you have clients in far away countries. You can use PayPal. Your clients don't even need a PayPal account. They can pay with their regular credit or debit cards, and even pay with e-checks. If you have fixed prices, you can easily put simple PayPal buttons on your page, and don't need an expensive shopping cart. A cheap forms manager will do the trick quite nicely. I have used merchant accounts for credit card processing since the mid 80's, and still have one. Currently the best one seems to be Royal Bank of Sottland WorldPay, but nowadays I only use them, when I absolutely have to. Whenever possible, I use PayPal. We have used PayPal for about a dozen years and never had a problem with them. Our cart and all of our regular invoicing uses PayPal. PayPal has very strict rules and regulations, but as long as you are legit, you got nothing to worry about. Actually, these days, if an on-line merchant can NOT accept PayPal, then I do a LOT of extra checking, before I trust them. If you need any help with the site design, you can pay me with socks. Have FUN! DearWebby
A country woman passed out and her husband, Bubba, called 911. The operator said they would send someone out right away and asked, "Where do you live?" Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally, Bubba said, "How about I drag her over to Oak Street and you can meet us there?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shower Curtains as Tablecloths Now is the season for outdoor parties, graduations, etc. Instead of using paper tablecloths, use shower curtains from the dollar store. They come in all colors, and are large enough to put on any table. They're waterproof so if anything is spilled, it can be mopped up, and they can be used again! By Lynda from Kearny, NJ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where Jill work, she asks the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists. Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas. Imagine Jill's surprise, when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming: "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?"
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A lady was driving from her husband's office to the kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when she blew past a red light, and a police car. Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic safety, and finished by saying, "Lady, don't you know when to stop?" Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said, "Officer, only seven of them are mine!"

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Are there real and legitimate business opportunities on the web? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Don't take life too seriously. You'll never escape it alive anyway. --- Elbert Hubbard Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream. --- Malcom Muggeridge
One Sunday a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the mother picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on her way out. Just before reaching the the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
In Canada the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are? In England they say "Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock do you know where your husband is?" In Washington they say Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Elizabeth Moffett, 35,in Columbia, MO Woman Arrested After Trying to Run Man Down Police say a Columbia woman used a phone call from jail to harrass a man she had earlier tried to run over with her car. Elizabeth Moffett, 35, was arrested Sunday afternoon after trying to run over the man with a 1997 Ford Contour on Jefferson Street. Police say she then backed into an adjacent yard. After officers caught up with her nearby and arrested her, Moffett was taken to jail. There, she asked to speak to an attorney, police say, but used the call to contact the man she had tried to run over. A Columbia Police Department spokeswoman called the phone conversation "pretty ugly." Witnesses said Moffett was under the influence of crack cocaine.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon RE: Are there legit business opportunities on the net? Dear Webby; I love your humor letter & find it so enjoyable to start my day. thanks so much for your time. Since you are one person I know I can trust I have a question that you may have an answer for. I see a lot of "online work at home" offers. I am wondering if you know of any site I can check to see if they are legit or not. I know some of them are not, especially if they say you can make several hundred dollars in one day. If it sounds too good too be true it probably isn't. But some do sound ok. Not too hyped up. There are couple of surveys I do get paid for doing & have for several years. Not a whole lot at one time but they do pay. I'm not looking to become a millionaire overnight but would like to make a few bucks since I am home & have some free time. I'd appreciate your answer. Have a purrfect day, Sharon Dear Sharon There is no list of bona fide business ventures. Nobody has the time to check them all out, and nobody, or not enough people would pay them for doing that work. Here is some general tips and tricks: If you find out about a business in an email that has --your address forged in as the sender address --a sender address that you can not reply to, but have to use an address in the body of the message --has a weird domain name ending or long and awkward name, then it is guaranteed a fraud. Links with weird and encrypted URLs are perfectly legit and normal for getting you TO a site, but the destination site better show up with a clean and respectable domain name! Unless the scheme involves YOUR creativity, it is most likely a fraud. All vetures are EITHER based on your creativity OR based on the gullibility of you and your victims. Some surveys do pay, but if you track your time on ALL the survey work you do, you will find that you would make 25 times more per hour knitting socks and watching youTube movies. If you want to make money, you have to create something, that some people want. An example are the postcards. Snap together a nice postcard site. It's easy, and actually a lot of fun. All the hard work is already done in the templates. Your creativity comes in with finding or taking pictures, that people would want on cards they send. Then you check the stats to see which pictures are in demand, and get more of that type. And dump the ones that are not in demand. If you do that tuning, and have descriptive text, that the search engines can catalog, you'll quickly get good traffic. Once you have traffic, you can sell stuff. With enough traffic, you can sell anything. Naturally, selling stuff related to your theme is a lot easier. You can get private label rights eBooks cheap, reword them a bit, and sell them. For even more profit, write them from scratch. The recipe is simple: 1) Open a web site and start goofing around to get comfortable with web basics 2) Use postcards to create targeted traffic. 3) Create something that is in demand by your target audience. Some people DO make good money by knitting socks, especially when they plow their profits back into the business and get a table-top knitting machine, but you will probably be happier with selling downloadabe eBooks, mainly because with those have to hassle with shipping stuff, and you don't have to knit new books for each client. Keep in mind, though, First things FIRST, and in THAT order. Without traffic, nothing moves. (pun intended) Have FUN! DearWebby
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys. They are all on different limbs... at different levels. Some are climbing up, some are climbing down. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but a bunch of .....
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Foods Before Grating I used to hate cleaning the grater when I was little. Well, before grating anything, make sure the food is hard or frozen. This will help keep the food from clogging the grater. Frozen ginger will grate into fine powder without all the stringy fibers sticking to holes. You don't have to peel it either. Just wash the whole thing before freezing. Frozen cheese can be frozen and crumbled on a grater easier than the soft kind. I would buy a block instead of the cubed or grated kind. Frozen cubes are just better processed in the food processor. Just add them sparingly before dumping the whole bag into the machine. Frozen meat can be grated if allowed to defrost a little. The fat will grate easier than the red part. And that is what you want to grate first anyway. If you don't, it will clog up the holes worse than the meat will. By Middlekid from Science Hill http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he barked at him: "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "just here to hook up your telephone."
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During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

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How to get rid of AntySpyware Soft 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Courage is being scared to death… and saddling up anyway. --- John Wayne A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach do it now. There may be a law against it tomorrow." --- Laurence Peter
In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. She posed this question to her students: "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, "A basketball coach?"
Little Tony was so happy to see his grandmother that he ran up and gave her a big hug. "I'm so happy to see you, grandma. Now daddy will have to do that trick he promisied to do!" His grandmother was curious. "What trick is that, sweetie?" The little guy smiled at her, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 29 year old dope in WENATCHEE, Wash. Man in room 119 arrested after mistaken 911 call WENATCHEE, Wash. (AP) - A wrong number led police to make a drug bust at a motel in Wenatchee. The Wenatchee World reported a man staying at one room attempted to call someone staying in Room 119 - but dialed 911 instead. Officers arrived Wednesday to see if there was a problem and discovered there was an arrest warrant for the man in Room 119. They arrested the 29-year-old man and seized heroin and other drugs.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cookie RE: Anti spyware soft Dear Webby my friend has been invaded with 'Anti spyware soft', any safe sites to go to for removal??? Cookie Dear Cookie Tell your friend, who installed Anti Spyware Soft, to try these: http://www.wiki-security.com/wiki/Paras ... pywareSoft http://remove-malware.net/how-to-remove ... i-spyware/ http://malwarebytes.org/ Have FUN! DearWebby
A man took his wife, who had no interest in football, to the opening game at the local university. The home team was battered all over the field by the more dominant opponents. At one point, the referee blew his whistle; the call was unnecessary roughness. "You mean to tell me," the woman said to her husband, "That all that roughness up until now has been NECESSARY?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Foods Before Grating I used to hate cleaning the grater when I was little. Well, before grating anything, make sure the food is hard or frozen. This will help keep the food from clogging the grater. Frozen ginger will grate into fine powder without all the stringy fibers sticking to holes. You don't have to peel it either. Just wash the whole thing before freezing. Frozen cheese can be frozen and crumbled on a grater easier than the soft kind. I would buy a block instead of the cubed or grated kind. Frozen cubes are just better processed in the food processor. Just add them sparingly before dumping the whole bag into the machine. Frozen meat can be grated if allowed to defrost a little. The fat will grate easier than the red part. And that is what you want to grate first anyway. If you don't, it will clog up the holes worse than the meat will. By Middlekid from Science Hill http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

This guy was walking along the beach one day and ran across a lamp (what a surprise). He picked it up a rubbed it and a genie popped out (ohh, another big surprise). The genie told him he would grant the man three wishes. "First," the guy began, "I'd like a million dollars." POOF! A million dollars was suddenly showing on his checkbook balance. "Second," he continued, "I'd like a new Mercedes." POOF! A Mercedes appeared right in front of him. "Third," the guy smirked, "I'd like to be irresistible to women." POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.
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In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so. "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell quiet until one wise guy raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Budweiser?"

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Fixing hijacked Windows compuer with Linux Live CD 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 24, 2010

If you want to cut down on the number of relatives who are hanging around, borrow money from the rich ones and lend money to the ones who are poor. You will never see any of them again. --- Socratex "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." --- Eleanor Roosevelt
Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other. Upon closer examination, he identifies the books: the Bible, and Darwin's "Origin of Species". Curious, he asks the chimp, "What's with the books?" The chimp replies, "I'm trying to decide whether I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."
Katharina, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, recently accused George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.
Somebody is going to get a haircut!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Wayne Johnson, 24, Johnson City, Tennessee Escapee zaps himself ELIZABETHTON — A prisoner in the Carter County Jail had a shocking experience during an alleged escape attempt Thursday night. Mathes said guards were making their regularly scheduled security checks at 10:13 p.m. when they heard “a loud scraping noise” coming from D Block. Mathes said Correctional Officer James Stevens found three chairs stacked on top of each other and noticed some dust that appeared to have come from the ceiling. When Stevens looked up at the ceiling, they noticed the metal plate in the ceiling of the shower had been moved. Officers moved the plate and saw prisoner John Wayne Johnson, 24, 815 Lincoln Ave., Johnson City, in a crawl space above the ceiling. Johnson began to crawl out of the space and touched some electrical wires, shocking him and tripping a circuit breaker, causing a temporary power outage. Maintenance personnel were called in to restore power. Mathes said Johnson was not injured. He had been serving a sentence on violation of probation. Corporal Christina Phillips said Johnson damaged both the ceiling plate and the ceiling. She said Johnson said he was attempting to get to the property room, where those who are arrested are required to place their personal items when they are booked into jail. The sheriff said whatever Johnson’s intent may have been, the department considers it to be an escape attempt whenever a prisoner is found in the ceiling crawl space.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jan RE: Computer not able to start programs HI Webby, I have a problem with my e-mail and internet,it was very slow so I contacted my provider ,they helped make it faster, but now I can't open any attachments,will not put up my facebook page,only my profile.I can't open my McAfee, or my restore system,can'nt play any you tube vidios either.I called a repair man and they tell me I have a malware or a hacker in my system.My question is why did everything work until I called my provider and they fixed it. I really enjoy your site and it is the first one I read.I really like all your great pictures and your trips too. THANKS Jan Dear Jan Your repair man is right. Only malware will prevent you from using your computer, as if you had paid for it and owned it. Most of the trojans and viruses nowadays block you from using McAfee and some other programs, that would kill them. They also block progrms, which would slow down whatever they are using your computer for. Did your provider by any chance tell you to temporarily turn off McAfee while they "fixed" your speed problem? Now you may have to use Linux to fix the problem. There are other, more cumbersome solutions, but those will cost you more. Don't worry, you don't have to format the hard drive for that. You can use Linux from a "Live CD", and boot and run Linux from that CD. You or your repairman will have to download Ubuntu Live CD. It comes as an iso file. Use the ISO burner from my tool box to burn that download as a bootable CD. Then boot up the computer from that CD. When you do that, it will be running Linux instead of Windows. There are step by step instructions for what to do once your are in Linux at Rescue via Linux http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/14434/sc ... u-live-cd/ Then you can scan and fix the invasion. The hacker, who currently controls and "owns" your computer, has no power when you are in Linux. Don't worry. You probably won't get hooked on Linux. When running off a CD, instead of from a proper installation on the hard drive, Linux is not that much faster than Windows. And when you have scanned and fixed the virus problem, you can take the Linux CD out and reboot back into Windows. A "Live CD" is just enough of the Linux Operating System to boot up and do basic stuff, -and to compare different "flavors" of Linux. Ubuntu is by no means the only brand, and most of them are free. You don't have to burn the "Live CD" on your machine. Anybody with a slight familiarity with Linux can burn it on their computer, and walk it over to you. Have FUN! DearWebby
Husband: "Why were you driving so fast?" Wife: "Because the brakes don't work on the car and I wanted to get home before I had an accident."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Dremel Tool for Dog Nail Trimming This is a tip I got from my vet several years ago. She said to use a Dremel tool to keep my dogs' nails trimmed. It is so much safer, and easier on the dogs and on me. I don't worry so much anymore about cutting the vessel inside their nails, and also their nails come out smooth and not apt to snag and split. And there's no pain for the dogs either. To get them used to it I started when they were puppies. I did their nails for just a second or two on each nail every day for several weeks, then once a week, and now once or twice a month. This got them used to not only the sound, but also the feel of the vibrations. Now they just lay there and sleep while I do their nails! By Cricketnc from Parkton, NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. " The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
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Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: Someone from the Guyna College called. They said Pabst beer is normal.

» Wallpapers
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Standard screen laptop 4:3 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, May 23, 2010

To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent. --- Berton Averre "Man shapes himself through decisions that shape his environment." --- Rene Dubos Everybody is ignert, just on different topics. --- Socratex
How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: A crew. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done-they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process. LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out. VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth. LIBRA: ER, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you? SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order. SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes. AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so.... PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb?
A woman walks into a busy butcher's shop. She's examining all the meats and poultry on display when she grabs a dressed chicken and holds it up. The butcher watches as she raises one leg, sniffs it, picks up the other leg, sniffs it, then squeezes the chickenbreast to check for firmness. Finally, she puts the bird back in the case. "What's wrong?" the butcher asks. "I'm not sure that chicken is fresh," she says. "Well, lady," says the butcher, "would you pass, if I tested you the same way?"
Thanks to Joan for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Neal, 56, La Jolla, California Former NASCAR driver nailed for eluding cops in high-speed chase According to the Los Angeles Times, Neal, a small-time racer in the 1980s at the now defunct Ascot Park in Gardena (Calif.), led Orange County sheriffs on a chase from San Clemente to La Jolla on Monday, before a blown engine stopped him. The chase started oddly enough when authorities attempted to stop Neal for driving his 2003 Chevy Corvette without a front license plate. Seeing the police behind him, Neal gunned it and dared police to keep up with him as he reached speeds of 140 mph. Unfortunately for Neal, his Corvette's engine could not sustain such speeds, and it blew up, bringing an end to the chase and landing him in police custody. Neal pleaded guilty to misdemeanor felony evasion and reckless driving on Tuesday, and was sentenced to a month of jail and probation.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank RE: Laptop that is not widescreen Dear Webby Are regular screen laptops extinct? I can't find one anywhere. They all seem to have deteriorated to the sawed off wide screen format. Salespeople tell me I get more on the side, but that obviously is a lie, as anybody working with spreadsheets or graphics knows. Just like the BS about "economies of scale becuse wide screen TVs use the same aspect ratio" is a total lie too. Have you ever seen a laptop size TV in the last year or two? On THIS planet? Was it handheld, or did it have a boom to clamp it to the arm of your easy chair? My wife is just as upset that we can't find 4:3 ratio laptops, but she is a lot less polite about it. Doesn't ANY company care what the buyers WANT and DEMAND? If you know of any, please tell me! Frank Dear Frank You are absolutely correct. I have propped a laptop on a stand beside my 4:3 monitor, and when displaying the same spreadsheet or web page at the same width resolution, on the laptop the bottom third is missing. They lied to you. Same as when they lied to you about Blonde Windows being faster than XP. And no, Laptop makers gon't give a hoot about what you want, same as Microsoft doesn't. You are a dumb sheep, and a low screen with Blonde Windows is good enough for you. I keep searching for a decent laptop too, but about all you can do is look for refurbs and used laptops, or, at home anyway, connect the laptop to a standard 4:3 monitor. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Nancy has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. ........ "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right." .......... "You want to speak with her? All right." .......... He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Nancy, your mother wants to talk to you!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organize With 5 Gallon Plastic Buckets Home and especially garage organization can be as short as a trip to your local fast food restaurant. Five-gallon pickle buckets have a huge list of uses: fishing, gardening, storage, etc. They are usually free, and you are doing the green thing by not filling the dump. By WM from INat http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter "Hoover!" under his breath. On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time. On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Fr. Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!" He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. "HOOVER!!!!" By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer, and asked why the priest said "Hoover". "It's the biggest dam I know."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a big law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. The lawyer picks it up and rubs it, and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the secretary. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof. She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseur, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof. She's gone. The genie looks at the lawyer. "You're next," he says. Says the lawyer, "I want those two back in the office right after lunch."
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» Wallpapers
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Back Issues 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 22, 2010

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. --- Blore's Razor "Work can wait while you show a child the rainbow. The rainbow won't wait while you do the work." --- Kathy Mckimens
I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, "I do."
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied, "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jim Brennan, 43 in Mt Juliet, Tennessee Plumber Hides Camera To Capture Client In Shower LA VERGNE, Tenn. - A man hired to fix a leaky shower was arrested for illegally videotaping his client in the nude. Jim Brennan was charged with Photographing Without Consent, a Class A Misdemeanor. "That's not just something that just happens. It takes plans," said La Vergne Police Chief Ted Boyd. Investigators said the 43-year-old Mt. Juliet man was called to the victim's house on Tuesday morning. While there, Brennan told the female victim she had to take a shower so he could find the leak. Before the victim entered the bathroom, Brennan set up a hidden video camera in the bathroom. "Just all sorts of red flags there that says to me that this probably is not the first time," said Boyd. Brennan also captured himself on video spending about 15 minutes setting the camera up to capture the victim near the shower. Police said after the victim took a shower she saw a blinking red light coming from the handyman's tool bag. "Curiosity takes over. She removes something that's over the bag to see what it is and low and behold it's a video camera," said Boyd. The woman called her husband and LaVergne police. Officers arrived to arrest Brennan before he could leave. Boyd said the suspect's actions suggest this is not the first time he has videotaped an unsuspecting client. Police are asking anyone who thinks they have been victimized by Brennan to call the authorities.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Trader RE: Back Issues Dear Webby A couple of days ago, you post how to fix the screen so I wouldn’t have to expand everytime I clicked on a new page. I delete it by mistake. Wanted my son to fix mine fer me. Thanks. Trader Dear Trader I post every day's issue to the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog as an archive. That day is there at IE tiny Window Problem Have FUN! DearWebby
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Steam Iron to Remove Stickers How many of you moms out there have spent entirely too much time trying to remove stickers that have been stuck on every surface in the entire house by your ornery toddler? Hold onto your bonnets, ladies! You ready? Use the steam from your iron to remove any type of sticky sticker off any surface! Fill your iron chuck full of water and turn the heat and steam on High. Let it get good and hot, then hold your iron upright or over your sticker nightmare and start pressing that steam button as fast as you can. In seconds, the entire sticker can be lifted off with absolutely NO residue left on the surface. May all of you sticker-removing mommies sleep better tonight knowing that at least one toddler mess can be cleaned up with ease. By April from Albany, GA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ A hot air gun or a hair dryer work fine too. Have some chisel-nose tweezers ready to peel the sticker off. You can practise with the labels on jam jars to find out how long you have to blow hot air with your tool of choice. Unlike steam, the hot air will not cause burns if you get impatient and reach in too early. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Marvin's trailer house, Marvin asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Marvin. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." "What are you studying?" asked Marvin. The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

» Miscelaneous, etc
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Resizer 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, May 21, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

College is that bright interlude of freedom a young man has, between subjection to his mother and control by his wife. --- Socratex Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. --- Mark Twain Sure does not seem to apply for women ! Lady Godiva got the taxes eliminated in her county, and some of the best chocolates on this planet are named after her.
Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a used car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he figured he could use the old sales pitch that the car was *like brand-new* and had only been driven by a little old lady on Sundays. He tried that approach on every prospective buyer but none seemed to believe him and no sales were made that day. His boss was furious and threatened to fire Bill if he didn't sell any cars the following day. The following day he decided to change his sales pitch and sure enough he sold three cars. The manager of the used car dealership called him over and asked what he had done to bring about all these sales. Bill grinned, "Well they didn't believe my little old lady story, so I told them that the car had previously been owned by your daughter, and that she only used the backseat."
The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious young man knocked on a door and a sour- faced lady came to the door and yelled: "What do you want, kid?" "D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?" he stammered. "Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" sneered the lady. "S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"
Thanks to Sandie for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jessica Halter, 18, North Ridgeville, Ohio Drive-Thru Taser Incident At Wendy's Jessica Halter. The Ohio student, 18, was arrested Saturday night at her high school prom after she drunkenly assaulted a policeman, tried to kick a paramedic, and spewed a "bloody ball of spit" at one cop. According to a Lorain Police Department report, an officer working the North Ridgeville High School prom was approached by school administrators who had received several complaints about the "highly intoxicated" Halter. When told of these complaints, Halter replied, "This is my fucking prom, this is bullshit." Halter, her speech slurred, denied drinking alcohol and cursed out the school's principal and assistant principal. "You are fucking bitches, this is my prom, I'm not drunk," said Halter. After refusing to take a Breathalyzer test, Halter attempted to swing a chair at cops, and then began "smacking her face into the chair handle causing her nose to bleed." While being handcuffed, Halter "began kicking, screaming, spitting and thrashing about." As she was walked out of DeLuca's catering hall, Halter--screaming obscenities--"let her legs go limp," so officers had to carry the teen to a patrol car. That is when Halter "cleared her throat and spit a bloody ball of spit" at Officer Kyle Gelenius, whose name tag was ripped from his uniform by Halter during the confrontation. Seated in the back of the cruiser, Halter "continued to spit blood on the windows, the divider, and the roof," and kicked the vehicle's window. For her prom night meltdown, Halter was booked into the Lorain County jail and charged with assaulting a cop, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and underage drinking. The drinking won't go onto her adult record, but assaulting a cop will, and will never come off her record, so that other officers are warned, what kind of bitch she can be.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Phyllis Re: Resizing Dear Webby I am taking a course in photography and showed your trip pictures to the instructor. Usually she tears apart and criticises any picture (except her own, of course), but with yours she got very quiet. Finally, after looking at over a hundred, she muttered about "consistently good composition, good contrast and color, precise sizing, must be a former student of mine". And she wrote down the URL to study them some more later. I am way ahead of the class just because of your advice a few years ago to crop each picture at least a little bit, mainly to review it critically and identify what on it is best. As you predicted, that reviewing carried over into composing each shot before I even raise my camera. I still have problems with the resizing. Partly due to the camera, and partly due to the cropping, my pictures are all in different sizes. Sure, I can resize them manually, one at a time, but is there a program that will resize a whole folder at a time? Thanks Phyllis Dear Phyllis When I crop a picture, I make sure that the width to height ratio is 1.3333. The graphics program shows the ratio in the task bar. Then I use the FastStone Resizer to resize them and save them to a different folder, still as JPG. After that I use the FastStone to resize them down to thumbnail size and save them as GIF in that same destination folder. You can do a whole folder, or highlight just the ones you want resized, and do it without changing the original. And you can add your copyright text or a watermark to the whole batch at the same time. FastStone works flawlessly and extremely fast. The only caution I would recommend is to change the default output quality to 100%. By default it is set to about 90%, probably to speed up page loading time. It is easy enough to change that setting, just remember to do it. You can get FastStone free from the link in my Tool Box. Have FUN! DearWebby
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?" The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." The judge then said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?" The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today at http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead. "Ah," he sighed, "that must be her checking out now."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Tallahassee." The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again." ------------ Reminds me of my student days. It was common knowledge there, that nobody EVER got arrested while on Gymnasium Street.

» Virtual Parks
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Internet TV 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 20, 2010

What happened? The votes dived to 100, an all time low.
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
Did you hear about the Indian chief who traded in his forty year old wife for two twenty year olds? A couple of weeks later a fellow brave saw him back with his original forty-year old wife. He said, "What happened to your two twenty- year-olds?" The Chief replied, "Hmmph, not wired for 220!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Melanese Reid, 20, in Daytona Beach, Florida sent in by Helen Drive-Thru Taser Incident At Wendy's MAY 17--Angered that drive-thru workers at a Wendy's incorrect order, a Florida woman stormed the Daytona Beach restaurant this morning and tried to tase an employee with a stun gun. Melanese Reid, 20, reportedly became enraged after fast food workers failed to provide her with the requisite number of mustard and mayonnaise packets. After Reid and Katrina Bryant, 23, argued with drive-thru employee Jason Hill (and called him "bitch" and "faggot") Hill "told them that they were childish and to leave," according to a charging affidavit prepared by cops. Reid then attempted to slap Hill, but the worker was able to deflect her hand. At that point, witnesses told cops, Reid and Bryant exited their red PT Cruiser and entered the Wendy's. While inside, Reid, armed with a pink Cheetah brand stun gun, chased Hill "around the kitchen/employee area of the restaurant with the Taser turned on and making the 'electric' noises." For her part, Bryant "cheered [Reid] on" while continuing the previous argument using "profane and discriminatory language." After Hill escaped, the women fled when a Wendy's manager announced that she was calling police. Reid and Bryant were arrested early this afternoon and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a felony. The stun gun was recovered from one of the women's purses. While Reid denied ever going inside Wendy's, Bryant contradicted her pal's claim. Bryant told cops that after Hill released Reid's hand at the drive-thru window, Reid entered the restaurant and threatened the worker with the handheld stun gun. A picture of the bimbos, who considered an incorrect number of free mustard packages serious enough to go to jail for, is at the Smoking Gun
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bob re: Internet TV I watch TV on the Internet. www.hula.com is a good one. I also just go to the networks and I am able to watch from there also. Hope this helps that person out. Kathy -------- I can offer two answers to Bob's question about internet TV. If he can get Hulu.com, there are piles of different TV shows there. If he can't get it, give him my email and I'll send him a work-around. The other alternative is to go directly to the networks' websites. Quite a number of them have full episodes of different shows available on their websites. Take care, Donovan There are a lot of reviews if you look on Google You can also subscribe to various stations, so that they send you headlines by plain text emails with links to the mentioned content. That way you can watch just those news items, that you are interested in. You "pay" by having to sit through the commercials, just like on regular TV. Have FUN! DearWebby
The teenaged girl discovered she was pregnant. She moaned to a friend, "I knew we should have just gone to the movies." The friend asked, "Well... why didn't you?" "We couldn't." she replied. "The only good ones playing were all R-rated, and wouldn't allow us in."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Banana Peels for Roses For beautiful roses, I emulsify old bananas and peels in my blender with water. I pour this on the base of the rose bush. You will not believe how well this works. By Laurie from St. Charles, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Overheard in the elevator... "This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my wife. I'll never forget that game of cards."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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If you see 100 Winnebagos pull into your camp site, it is easier to turn the road signs around than to pass them all on the next day.

» Fake Science
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TV over the Internet 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 19, 2010

To err is human-- and to blame it on a computer is even more so. --- Robert Orben The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. --- Lucille S. Harper
When Vickie's co-worker received a phone call from her daughter, she heard her exclaim joyfully, "Seven and a half pounds! I'm so proud!" After she had hung up, she asked, "Boy or girl?" "Neither," her colleague replied... "Diet."
A spiritualist who'd recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she'd just received a message from her dead husband - asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. "The only thing is," she mused, "that I don't know where to send them." "Why not?" asked her friend. "Well, he didn't actually say that he was in Heaven - but I can't imagine he'd be in Hell." "Hm," responded the friend. "Well, maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but. . . did he mention anything about including matches in the package?"
Desert is not boring!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carey C. Sterling, 43, transient in Missoula, Montana Scooter thief tries to steal police car The woman accused of stealing a meter-reader scooter and crashing it into a parked car on Tuesday was arrested again early Thursday, this time for apparently trying to steal a Missoula police car. A 43-year-old transient woman accused of stealing a Missoula parking enforcement scooter while the attendant was writing a ticket has been arrested again, this time for apparently trying to steal a police car. The woman was arrested Tuesday and charged with felony theft and drug possession after the three-wheeled scooter crashed into a parked car. She was released from jail Wednesday afternoon. But she was arrested again Thursday for allegedly trying to climb inside a Missoula police car while two officers responded to a traffic stop. Sterling now faces an additional charge of obstructing a police officer and was being held at the Missoula County jail. Sterling has a 2004 sexual battery charge out of California and is a registered sex offender. She is apparently a transient.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bob re: TV via Internet Good Evening Webby, Got a good one for you. Being on a fixed income it is becoming harder and harder to make ends meet. I called our local cable company and wanted to make changes on my TV service. Regardless of how I tried to work something out the charges were still to high. I decided to cancel my TV service but keep my phone and Internet cable service. I still want to watch TV and understand it can be done through my computer at a one time nominal cost. Can you make some suggestions as to what program would be the best and the most economical. Any help would be appreciated. Bob Daily Voter Dear Bob I know it can be done, but I have no experience with TV. Since I don't watch TV, I would not even know what would be important with such a program. Look for some forums on the "TV via Internet" topic and lurk for a while to get to know who on the forum knows their stuff and who is just an empty shirt flapping to make noise. Every forum has some of each. Unless you get your answer by just lurking, wait until some good people are on and then post your question. Have FUN! DearWebby
More than anything, my brother-in-law wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said my brother-in-law, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organize Your Shopping List By Aisle Next time you go to the grocery store, take a little extra time to write down the main items of each aisle, and area. When you get home, type it out in the order you shop in the store. Make copies of this and you can just check off or highlight the items you need each week. This will save time on making a list, and it will be easier to read. If you shop at several stores, make one for each store. By kmcb59 from Leavenworth, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

» Master of Origami
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Where do downloaded files go? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, or a Hell of Heaven. --- Socratex
Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale. "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date." "So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor. "Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work, I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."
Bulletin Board Bloopers: Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir. ------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Lily of the Nile
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Paul Hutton from Essex in the UK Man Arrested For Drunk Driving In A Toy Barbie Car Paul Hutton, a father of 4 from Essex in the UK, has been banned from driving for three years after he was caught behind the wheel of a pink toy Barbie car while drunk. According to The Sun, Paul Hutton was over the UK legal limit when he was pulled over near his Essex home by a police patrol car. The judge took away his license for 12 months. This is his second DWI arrest. The toy car was confiscated by police but Hutton hopes to get it back.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Walter re: Where do downloaded files go? Hi dear Webby, thank you so much for your daily dose of fun, info and tech tips. I am using Gmail and Firefox and when I get a file to download where does it go after it downloads. I can't find it. Please help. Regards, Walter Dear Walter In FireFox click on TOOLS, OPTIONS, GENERAL Put a checkmark just on "Show the Downloads window" Turn on "Save Files To" and specify a location. I always make a directory called ! on drive F: for downloads on all machines. The Exclamation mark always puts it at the top of the alphabet and easy to find. Because I am too lazy to search all over, to go after a download, I can just go to F:\! If you didn't partition your drives, you can make a folder like that in the C: drive. In FireFox, you can hit CTRL J and it will open the Download window. By right-clicking an item in there, you can select to open that item, or go to the folder where it is. Have FUN! DearWebby
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?" Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?" Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Don't Overfeed Your Pet Don't over feed your pet. I know we all love our babies, but too much food is not good for anyone. Show them your love by taking them for a walk or playing in the backyard with the little one's favorite toy. By inluvwithmypup from TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A teenager was sitting in church, and when the collection plate was passed around, he quickly pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in. Just then, the person behind him tapped him on his shoulder and handed him a $20 bill. The boy smiled, placed the $20 in the plate and passed it on, admiring that the man was being generous. Then the boy felt another tap from behind and heard a whisper: "Son," the man said, "that was your $20 bill that had fallen out of your pocket."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail."

» Winscape
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IE opens links in tiny windows 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 17, 2010

I got a few more pages of the 2010 Cactus Rally uploaded. Up to day 9 so far. My favorite picture is Day 9 #29 with my dad in the bottom right hand corner gleefully snapping a picture of something interesting he spotted.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --- Wilson Mizner Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. --- Socratex
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for our anniversary and even paying their own fares...Now what do we tell them for Thanksgiving ?"
The doctor noted with astonishment a tattoo of a bluebird on the shoulder of his 70 year old patient, who was in his office for her annual check up. She told him that she had wanted one her whole life, so she and her 16 year old grandson decided that they would get birthday tattoos together. The doctor inquired why she had not got one sooner. "Until now," she replied, "I was afraid of what my mother would say."
Do you see the couple in the lower left area, and their kids a bit to the right of them? That is not a carving, it's just the way the rocks look, when the sun is at that particular angle. in 800 x 600 in 1024 x 768
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kenneth Parkerson,28 in Coral Springs, Florida Picked wrong house CORAL SPRINGS By the time Kenneth Parkerson told a nurse he made a mistake, the evidence was already on his face. Parkerson, 28, was arrested Wednesday night after he allegedly sneaked into the screened patio of a home, carrying a video camera, police said. The homeowner's wife saw him and yelled for her husband, Pembroke Pines firefighter Ireneusz Fajkis, according to the police report. Fajkis chased Parkerson onto his front lawn and tackled him to the ground, according to the police report. Parkerson, of Coral Springs, was taken to Coral Springs Medical Center, where he talked to a nurse treating his wounds. "I picked the wrong house," he reportedly said, "because a UFC [mixed martial arts] fighter lived there and beat me up." Parkerson was arrested on one count of burglary, one count of video voyeurism, one count of marijuana possession and one count of tampering with evidence, for allegedly trying to destroy the camera while he was being chased. If you want to see his bruised and lumpy face, after it had been cleaned up by the nurse, it is at Sun-Sentinel
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nancy re: IE opens in tiny window HELP...........Mr Genius Guy When I click on a link, it no longer opens in a screen size. Just a little tiny box that I have to click on to enlarge. How can I fix this, it is taking up way toooooo much of my time. Thank you Nancy Dear Nancy That is an old Internet Explorer bug. Theoretically, Internet Explorer will remember the window size of when it closed last time, but sometimes it messes up and acts as if you had resized a window to a ridiculously small size before closing, and then decides that is your favorite window size. That bug is one of the reasons why so many people upgraded to FireFox, Opera or Chrome. However, there IS a way to tell Internet Explorer that the dumb idea of a stamp size window is NOT your preference. Close all instances of Internet Explorer that are currently open, except for one. Right click a link on the web page and select Open in new window. CLOSE the first instance of the browser that was originally open using the “X” in the top corner. Resize the tiny new window by dragging the top and sides until it is the size that you prefer. Hold down the CTRL key and click the “X” in the top corner. The next time you open your browser, the window should again appear in a civilized size. For a while anyway. That bug will probably re-surface in a few months, but then you will know how to fix it. You can always switch to FireFox. Nobody has ever reported a similar problem in FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you have a lot of tension and you get headaches, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirins and keep away from children."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Don't Overfeed Your Pet Don't over feed your pet. I know we all love our babies, but too much food is not good for anyone. Show them your love by taking them for a walk or playing in the backyard with the little one's favorite toy. By inluvwithmypup from TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

During a sermon a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. "About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' "It worked."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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"I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club. "Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive." "Not really," said the little old man. "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke."

» Gas $ in US and Canada
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How to capture pictures from a PPS with Open Office 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, May 16, 2010

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. --- Herbert Rappaport Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. --- Wendell Johnson
The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all." The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home."
A pastor was speaking to a group of second-graders about the resurrection of Jesus when one student asked, "What did Jesus say right after He came out of the grave?" The pastor explained that the Gospels do not tell us what He said. The hand of one little girl shot up. "I know what He said: He said, 'Tah-dah!'"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bradley Norris, 20, in Polk County, Florida naked inmate tries to escape from hospital POLK COUNTY, FL -- A Polk County Deputy was injured while trying to prevent an inmate from escaping from a hospital wearing nothing but socks with his ankles shackled together. Bradley Norris, who was arrested on May 1, 2010, for 10 counts of violation of parole, ranging from Grand Theft to Burglary and Trespassing, Armed Robbery, Aggravated Battery and Conspiracy, was transferred to Lake Wales Hospital on May 6, 2010, for medical reasons. 40-year-old Detention Deputy Michelle Threatt was on hospital watch over 20-year-old Bradley Norris when a struggle began in the hospital room after Norris said he needed to use the bathroom. Deputy Threatt shackled Norris’ ankles together before he was allowed to get up from the bed. When he got up he began attacking the Deputy hitting her on the head, struggling with her, overpowering her and eventually fleeing the room at Lake Wales Hospital. During the struggle, Norris’ gown was torn from his body and when he fled hospital, he was wearing only socks, and his ankles were shackled together. It was immediately dispatched over the radio that an inmate had escaped from the Lake Wales Hospital. Norris was spotted at the Lake Wales Art Center first by Lake Wales Police Officers and was taken into custody. Norris will face additional charges, including Escape, and Battery on a Law Enforcement Officer. Detention Deputy Threatt was treated and released from the hospital for a minor injury to her head. The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are likely to be added.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Diana re: Capture pictures from PPS with Open Office Dear Webby: Thanks for your good newsletter in my inbox each morning. Have enjoyed reading about your trip and look forward to each day's pictures. Once again I'm asking for help which you always so willingly give. You once mentioned being able to capture pictures from PPS files with Open Office. I recently downloaded and installed Open Office and would greatly appreciate you explaining how to capture some of those pictures. (Please, in very simple terms ....I'm a novice in the computer world.) Thanks for your help - I appreciate you. Diana Dear Diana Open the PPS with Open Office Impress Click on Normal if it is not already selected. If you got it set to start playing in full screen mode, hit Escape. In Normal mode you got the thumbnails on the left side. Select the one you want. It will show in the main content area. To get more space, you can close the right side Task Side bar. Now you can edit, delete or add captions to the picture, and even resize it. When ready, right-click the picture C for copy jump to your graphics or other program, CTRL V to paste the picture. You can also paste the picture into a word processor or spreadsheet or most email programs. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon was astonished that the hungry lions had not eaten Daniel. He summoned Daniel and promised him that if he would reveal his secret, the king would give him his freedom. "It was easy, your excellency," Daniel said. "I went around and whispered in each lion's ear - 'After dinner, there will be speeches.'"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Have a Laundry Basket for Each Person When taking dry clothes off the washing line have a basket for each person (either with their name written on the wash basket or a different colour). When you take the baskets in, each person is responsible for putting their clothes away. My two boys have done this since they were 6 years old. I still have their drawers labeled so not only they can put their things away but if I get someone in to help me they can do it easily too. By talkingbookworm from NSW, Australia http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

When a young minister was still single, he preached a sermon he entitled, "Rules for Raising Children." After he got married and had children of his own, he changed the title of the sermon to "Suggestions for Raising Children." When his children got to be teenagers, he stopped preaching on that subject altogether.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Church Bloopers "The church had a going-away party for Pastor Brown. The congregation was anxious to give him a little momentum." "We will have a Special Holiday Bingo & Dinner on Monday evening. You will be given two bingo packs, which cover all games played, and your choice of children or roast beef for dinner."

» Michigan
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No automatic page redirect 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 15, 2010
The fifth page of the Cactus Rally is up:
Fifth Day


"Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher." --- Ty Cobb "Do it big or stay in bed." --- Larry Kelly When you're down to nothing, God's up to something! --- Anon
From Narissa Dear Webby, I know you remind us each Friday to wear a bit of red to show our support for the troops. My youngest son is in the Navy, and my oldest grand daughter is in Afghanistan with the Army, but some Fridays I firget, -until I read the Humor Letter. Because of my limited wardrobe, that sometimes leads to weird combinations. I noticed on the pictures from your trip, that not only you but your father as well were wearing red on Fridays, even on your vacation. That really teared me up. I don't think I will ever forget Fridays from now on. Bless your hearts! Narissa
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well- preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have walked 5 miles in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk, for 5 miles."
Joe and his wife get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting up with her pestering, he finally decided he'd had enough and advised her that he would no longer drive with her in the car. Later that day, on his way home from doing some shopping at the mall, he heard his cell phone ring as he was merging onto a freeway. It was his wife calling. By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind him. "Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights; it's starting to rain."
White Tail Deer on "Devil's Backbone" south of Torrey, UT
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Matthew Creel in Santa Fee, Texas Man arrested during traffic stop after pot found wrapped in court papers by khou.com staff Posted on May 11, 2010 at 8:36 AM SANTA FE, Texas – A man was facing charges Monday after police said they found pot wrapped in a deferred adjudication order for possession of marijuana in the suspect’s vehicle. Around 11 p.m., a Santa Fe police officer pulled over Matthew Creel in the 4200 block of FM 1764 for a defective headlight. The officer arrested Creel after determining that the suspect was driving on a suspended license. When the officer searched Creel’s vehicle, he said he found a small amount of marijuana concealed in a folded piece of paper. Upon further investigation, the officer noticed that the paper was actually an official court document – Creel’s deferred adjudication order for a March 16 possession of marijuana charge in Galveston County. Creel was charged with possession -- again -- and booked into the Santa Fe City Jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron re: No automatic page redirect Dear Webby I watched your trip and google earth too, great for those of us who cannot travel much. I need help with Firefox. I have been using Firefox over a year now but all of a sudden I am getting this pop down messege from the top. "Firefox prevented this page from automatically redirecting to another page." T hen I must hit the allow button. This happens almost every time I click on another place to go. What happened? Thanks as always Ron P Dear Ron That is actually due to a security setting. You can change that in Tools, Options, Advanced. If you don't want to be warned, when a site automatically redirects you from a tame Bible-Study Entrance to a not so tame Horny Mugwomp Dating site, then take the checkmark of the third box there. Try it for a few days. Depending on your surfing pattern, you may want to put that checkmark back. Or not. It's up to you. Have FUN! DearWebby
From a church bulletin: "A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by Bert, one of our loyal members, in honor of his wife."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Carry Wipes in Your Pocketbook Just a quick tip for the ladies. When you are out and about make sure you carry flushable wipes in your pocketbook. You never know when you'll have to "go" and the restroom will have no toilet paper. It's a life saver! By Brocksmommy from SC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man is having a really bad day on the golf course. By the 14th hole, he's missed one putt too many, and he lets loose with a string of profanities, grabs his putter, and storms off toward the lake by the 15th tee. "Uh-oh," says his playing partner to the caddie, "There goes that club." "You think so?" asks the caddie. "I've got five bucks saying he'll miss the water."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday ...and not too many weeks thereafter, just as services are starting, they show up. Attendance was good in the small Methodist church, and there wasn't a pew available; several church members were already seated on folding chairs. When the minister, just starting the service, saw the three Baptist deacons enter, he leaned down from the pulpit and stage-whispered to the nearest usher, "Please get three chairs for my Baptist friends in the back." The usher, hard of hearing, leaned closer and said, "I beg your pardon?" "Get three chairs for my Baptist friends," repeated the minister, but the usher strained closer with a puzzled look still on his face. Once more the minister tried, speaking slowly and distinctly. "Three chairs. For the Baptists," he enunciated. The usher's face lit up in comprehension, and he turned to face the congregation. "All right, everybody," he called out to the assembled worshippers. "Three cheers for the Baptists!"

» Iceland Volcano
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Open Office Clipboard 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, May 14, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The third and fourth pages of the Cactus Rally are up:
Third Day
Fourth Day


No man ever listened himself out of a job. --- Calvin Coolidge First things first, but not necessarily in that order. --- Doctor Who
"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to Busch Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times!"
A college freshman comes home after being away all semester. Her father looks her up and down, then says, "Aren't you a lot fatter than when you went away?" "Yes I am, Dad," the girl admits. "I weigh 140 pounds stripped for gym." The father stares at her for a moment in horrified amazement. Finally, he shouts, "Well, tell me this: Just who is Jim?"
Last Friday in Utah
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a ouple of boneheads on the Isle of Wight, England Man dressed as Snoopy tries to break into jail A gun-toting man tried to break into a jail to free another inmate - while wearing a Snoopy costume. The man was arrested by police after attempting to break into the Albany site of HMP Isle of Wight, while carrying what appeared to be a firearm and dressed up as the canine hero of the Peanuts cartoons, according to a report in the Sun. He was accompanied by a sidekick, who wasn't dressed as any kind of cartoon character. Unfortunately for the would-be jailbreakers, it later emerged that they had in fact tried to break into the wrong jail - the family member they had planned to free was actually being held at another site in the Isle of Wight prison complex. The 'gun' was also revealed to actually be a water pistol. The duo had attempted to break down a staff door at the prison site, but couldn't get it to budge. When that plan failed, they resorted to throwing concrete missiles at prison officers' cars. The two were quickly arrested on suspicion of criminal damage, and detained under the Mental Health Act.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cybergranny99 re: Open Office Clipboard Dear Webby Hello and thanks for all the cool things you send our way. I enjoyed reading about your trip and now seeing some of the photos too. I have recently switched from Office 2007 to OpenOffice and I like it. I believe that I can copy and paste from this to my eBay listings and not get all those "funny" looking additions that MS word does. My question is whether Open Office has a clipboard like MS Word. I find several mentions of clipboard in help but cannot find a program and I really use this a lot. Do you know if this available with OpenOffice? Thanks again for all the great stuff. I depend on your jokes to tell at my weekly visit to a local Assisted living and they love them!! Dear Cyergrannie Open Office uses the same concept as Word Perfect and Word Star users are accustomed to since the days when you were jail-bait. You simply open two (or more) docs, copy and paste from one to the other. It makes no difference whether you have a permanent "Cheat-Sheet" with commonly used stuff like ©, §, €, etc, or copy from a live web page like the currency conversions of the hour. Just jump from the doc to the "Cheat Sheet" or source page, highlight what you want to copy, hit CTRL C to Copy, ALT TAB back to the receiving doc, place the cursor where you want the copied stuff, hit CTRL V, and it is done. You can just as easily copy stuff from a web page and paste it into both the Cheat Sheet AND the receiving doc, and you can of course have as many different thematic Cheat Sheets as you want, for example one for Recipes, one for Prayers, one for cruise lines that charge 50% less per day than Fogie Farms do, etc. Start with one Cheat Sheet, and when it gets too long, add a second thematic one and shuffle the stuff with THAT theme over there. You are not limited to text. Right-Click on a picture on a web page, select COPY, jum to your Open Office Doc and hit CTRL V to paste it where the cursor is. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man is celebrating his 100th birthday, so the editor of the local newspaper sends a reporter over to do a feature story on the old timer. The reporter begins by asking the old tried and true question, "To what do you attribute your longevity?" "Well, young lady," the gentleman says, "I never smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day, never got drunk and didn't over-eat. I didn't get up too early every morning, but I sure stay up and active past midnight ." "But, I had an uncle who did exactly the same," the reporter says, "and he only lived to be 80. How do you account for that?" "He didn't keep it up long enough," says the centenarian.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ask a Master Gardener Ever wonder what you should plant? For free answers from experts about what grows best in your area, and for questions about insects and garden pests, ask a Master Gardner. They offer their advice free at most Farmers' Markets and also online. Master Gardeners are trained for free at most universities and in return they are required to offer their advice to the local community. Besides local farmers markets you can also get in touch with them by searching the words "Master Gardeners" then adding your state. For example "Master Gardeners Minnesota" or "Master Gardeners University of Washington". You can then connect to a Master Gardner Forum in your area. If you are interested in becoming a Master Gardner contact the university closest to you. Master Gardeners are some of the most helpful and friendliest people around. They have a booth at the Saturday Market that I sell at. By Cyinda from near Seattle http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I reckon so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, shoot!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my little ducks!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
In the faculty lounge of an excellent elementary school, some teachers were talking about reincarnation. One teacher remarked "If there's anything to the idea of reincarnation, I know what I'd like to come back as." "Oh, tell us what," said a couple of colleagues. "I'd like to come back," said the teacher, "as a childhood disease."

» Calendar Albums
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Problems with Audio Recording 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 13, 2010

The second page of the Cactus Rally is up:
Second Day


The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. --- George Bernard Shaw If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. --- Dick Cavett Practice Safe Food -- Use Condiments --- Socratex
A lunatic is sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another patient, who has been watching, suddenly cries, "Wait a minute! I just caught you cheating yourself." The first man puts his finger to his lips. "Shhh," he whispers. "Don't tell anybody, but I've been cheating myself at solitaire for years." "You don't say," says his surprised pal. "Don't you ever catch yourself cheating?" The first man shakes his head. "Naw," he says proudly. "I'm much too clever."
Sherlock Holmes : "Ah Watson, I see you have on your winter underwear." Watson : "Marvelous, Holmes, marvelous! How did you ever deduce that!" Sherlock Holmes : "Well, you've forgotten to put on your trousers."
Monument Valley, Utah
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brandi Smith, 41 of Gardnerville, Nevada Topless, drunk woman accused of theft, DUI Wednesday, May 12, 2010 A 41-year-old Gardnerville woman, intoxicated and topless, was hospitalized Monday after she reportedly stole a bottle of wine from a Gardnerville grocery store and nearly drove into a fast food restaurant in the midst of a raging snow squall. According to witnesses, a woman identified as Brandi Smith, was driving erratically before pulling into the parking lot at Scolari's grocery store. Smith, naked from the waist up, entered Scolari's and left without paying for a $20 bottle of wine. The store provided video footage of Smith. One of the clerks said he confronted her about her lack of clothing and said, “She just walked right past me,” without acknowledging him and left the store. She got into her car and drove toward Burger King. She stopped near the entrance to the drive-through with the right front tire over the curb and in the landscaping. She was met by an off-duty sheriff's deputy who removed the keys from the ignition and held the driver's door closed to keep her in the vehicle. Paramedics took her to Carson Valley Medical Center for treatment. A preliminary breath test at the center indicated a breath-alcohol content of .144, nearly twice the legal limit. The sheriff's office originally was contacted by a motorist who reported the driver of a black Corvette driving erratically from Tillman and Dresslerville in the Gardnerville Ranchos, down Centerville, nearly hitting the abutment at Lutheran bridge. He followed the car to the shopping center and watched Smith exit the vehicle and enter the store. A search of her records indicated two prior convictions of driving under the influence in California in 2008 and 2009. Her California driver's license is suspended and there is no record of a Nevada license. She also is on probation in Douglas County for an October theft of beer from the Tillman Lane 7-Eleven. She remained hospitalized for observation, according to reports, while they check how many other jurisdictions are looking for her.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Suryakant re: Problem with Audio Recording Dear Webby Thanks a lot for helping me several times before. Now here is yet another problem. While replying to a reader’s query, you recommended “Audacity” to record streaming audio. I downloaded Audacity and was using it for various applications to audio files. But since last week Audacity stopped recording. Presuming that the program might be corrupted, I downloaded it again but there is no change in the situation. Before downloading audacity I was using “Digital Audio Recorder” from www.asoftwareplus.com This program records streaming audio in MP3 format. But now this program is also not working. What might be wrong? Is there any setting that is disturbed or is it a problem with my sound card? Suryakant Dear Suryakant Theortically Audacity should have straightened out any settings, when you re-installed it. I have used it occasionally for just that purpose. I am by no means a specialist in audio, since it always worked fine for me, without having to read instructions or experimenting. Try contacting the maker of your computer. Chances are good that they came across that problem before. Have FUN! DearWebby
In his Sunday sermon the preacher used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a much too long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. With thoughts of awaiting Sunday dinners all responded except one old woman in the rear. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' "I don't have any." "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty-six" "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell this congregation how a woman can live to eighty-six and not have an enemy in the world." The old woman teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around and said "It's easy. I just outlived the B's and SOB's."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Find Craft Supplies at Garage Sales Garage sales are great. There is such an endless variety, and you never know what you will find. If you're into crafting the garage sale can be a goldmine. The goldmine is the joy you feel when you see a table full of fabric, a box filled with skeins of yarn, dozens of frames and pictures, and all priced from 10 cents to a dollar. I found little frames 4/$1.00, in perfect condition. I could have put little pictures in them, but opted to place my pressed flowers in them and use them on top of gift boxes, in place of cards. It was a pretty touch, and cheaper than a card or a bow. By Deb from East Brunswick, NJ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

When a husband finally gave in and began to clean out his bureau, he discovered a bunch of socks that didn't match. As his wife looked at them, she noted that most of them had holes in them. "Land's sakes, man !" she exclaimed. "How long have you had these things?" "Since before we were married," he admitted. "I guess you could say that I had a lot of premarital socks!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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"Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe in Gosh."

» Strange Critters
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Show roads on Google Earth 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The first page of the Cactus Rally is up:
First Day


It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them. --- Pierre Beaumarchais A waist is a terrible thing to mind. --- Jane Caminos
"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?" Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
The Father, passing thru the son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whaddya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch and we'll hose him down in the morning."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a Jane Simmons, 45, in Poughkeepsie, NY Woman reporting for jail sentence has heroin, Hydrocodone pills on her KINGSTON – The Ulster County Sheriff’s Office has charged a Poughkeepsie woman with felony promoting prison contraband in the first degree for possession drugs at the jail. Deputies said on Friday, May 7, Jane Simmons, 45, of Glenwood Avenue in Poughkeepsie reported to the Ulster Sheriff’s Office Corrections Division to report for her intermittent sentence for a previous charge of petit larceny. As she was being processed into the jail, corrections staff found her to be in possession of 18 decks of heroin and 10 Hydrocodone pills. When she was told to turn over the drugs, she tried to destroy them by throwing them into a toilet and flushing them. Corrections staff was able to recover the items. Simmons was charged with promoting prison contraband in the first degree, a felony, promoting contraband in the second degree, a misdemeanor, two counts of criminal possession of a controlled substance in the seventh degree, misdemeanors, and the felony of tampering with physical evidence. She was arraigned and remanded to the Ulster County Jail on $25,000 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland re: Google Earth Settings Dear Webby Hey: Good to hear you had a good trip, followed you for quite a ways as have been in that part of the world as well. have a question, how do you get the roads to come in on GLOBAL EARTH? I have tried and can not get any roads to come in. Even when looking for an address that is listed as a road, like 3654 Weld Road 6. Hope you can give me a lesson on this in good ole plain English. Keep up the good work, Roland Dear Roland In Google Earth turn the side bar on CTRL ALT B Down in the bottom half of the bar put checkmarks on all the stuff that you want to be visible. Add the checkmarks one at a time, so that you see what it does. Some of them are a bit of a nuisance, and you'll want to un-check them quickly. On mine, I just have checkmarks on Primary Database Borders and Labels Roads 3D Buildings Ocean Terrain The rest I don't need or want. Have FUN! DearWebby
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run." With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Peters was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be the driver for my jeep."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Bugs Out Of Your Drink Outside Here's another great use for Press and Seal. When you take a drink outside, you risk getting bugs in it. So put a small piece of Press and Seal over your glass leaving a drink hole or poke a tiny hole in it and stick a straw through it. You will drink bug free. For a recyclable way to do the same thing, you can also use those little bowl covers that look like mini shower caps and poke a hole in those for a straw, then they can be washed over and over! I have used both and it works great. By Melmarr from MI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ I have used an insulated stainless steel travel mug with a sliding cover for the drinking hole for many years for that purpose. You can get plastic travel mugs at flea markets for under a dollar and they last for many years too. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man and his wife are walking down the street when he suddenly said, "That lovely girl just looked at me and smiled." "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest," his wife replied. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
An 18th century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, comes on a roadside inn emblazoned with a sign carrying the name "St. George and the Dragon." He knocks on the door, and the innkeeper's wife sticks her head out of a window above the sign. "Could ye spare some victuals?" the man asks. The woman glances at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No,"she shouts. "Could I have a pint of ale then?" he asks. "No, I said." "Could I at least use your privy?" "No," she shouts again. "Well, might I please....?" "What now?" the woman screeches, not allowing him to finish. "D'ye suppose that I might have a word with George?"

» Strange Critters
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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IE8 pop-ups 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Home again!

Returning the National rental car was a breeze. The guy scanned
the bar code on the window, glanced at the odometer, and wished 
us a safe journey home. Just as slick as when we picked up 
the car two weeks ago. With the Emerald Club card I walked past 
the lineups at the counter, straight to where the cars are. There
a guy told me to pick any that suited me. At the exit they 
verified my credit card, gave me some papers and wished me a
pleasant trip. I can definitely recommend national Car Rental!

The security rigmarole was quick and simple, and the flight 
was typical Westjet. They always take off late, fly above the 
storms and arrive early. My secretary picked me up at the
airport in Calgary and brought me home.

It ws a great trip, but I am glad to be home again!
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. --- Mark Twain
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"
Once, while driving around in my pickup with my pet donkey in the back, I discovered I had a flat tire. I got out and had the donkey stick its head under the bumper and lift the truck.A passing farmer asked, "Hey, that's a pretty clever trick. How did you teach your donkey to lift the truck?" I replied, "Its a simple matter of the breed; this is a jack ass!"
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Pine Siskin
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 14 year old girl in Boca, Raton, Florida Florida girl, 14, accused of carjacking BOCA RATON, Fla. (UPI) -- A 14-year-old Florida girl was arrested after she allegedly stole a car at a gas station pump, and ordered the 12-year-old girl inside to get out, police said. The alleged thief Tuesday in Boca Raton rushed into the car's driver's seat while the victim's father paid for gas. The father had left the motor running and the doors unlocked, the Florida Sun Sentinel reported. The suspect took off in the car after the victim left, the newspaper said. Police said they saw the car on the road and laid down spiked stop sticks. The suspect came to a stop in a parking lot, but backed up into a police car as the officer was getting out of his car to approach her. The officer was not hurt and the suspect was arrested. The suspect told detectives she and a friend sat on a bench at the gas station for around three hours, and that her friend told her to steal the car. She said she had been involved in stealing a car from the same gas station on Monday, the newspaper reported. A police investigation and further charges are pending.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette re: IE8 Pop-up Dear Webby I just need to ask you one question, I keep getting this pop up that wants me to D/L Internet Explorer 8, should I D/L this? thank you for all your help, don't know what I would do without you at times!!! Sincerly, Annette. Dear Annette That is what the IE8 blocker in my tool box is for. IE8 is not malicious, but it would seriously slow down your computer. Since FireFox is better anyway, and does not slow you down, just use that for a browser. Have FUN! DearWebby
A woman who lives in Mississippi, was talking with her four year old son. He asked her why all their relatives in Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right? They talk funny!" he stated. "Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Bugs Out Of Your Drink Outside Here's another great use for Press and Seal. When you take a drink outside, you risk getting bugs in it. So put a small piece of Press and Seal over your glass leaving a drink hole or poke a tiny hole in it and stick a straw through it. You will drink bug free. For a recyclable way to do the same thing, you can also use those little bowl covers that look like mini shower caps and poke a hole in those for a straw, then they can be washed over and over! I have used both and it works great. By Melmarr from MI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ I have used an insulated stainless steel travel mug with a sliding cover for the drinking hole for many years for that purpose. You can get plastic travel mugs at flea markets for under a dollar and they last for many years too. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The company psychiatrist was interviewing Nancy. As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company. Things were not not going well for Nancy. The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give Nancy one last chance. He asked, "if you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" Nancy quickly responded, "the living one."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
On still another diet, Sue had lost a few pounds and a lot of her usual sunny disposition. After making a snappish remark to her husband, she apologized and reminded him that he was supposed to stick by her through thick and thin. "I know," he said, dryly, "but thick was a lot easier."

» Floating Islands
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Mouse Mystery 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 10, 2010

Good Morning, ! The 2010 Cactus Rally was a beautiful and exciting trip. Scenery overload, challenging roads, friendly people everywhere, all contributed to a great memory harvest. Meticulous planning and booking every hotel over the Internet of course helped. There was never any worry about not finding a suitable motel at a day's end. Other than having to cope with Windoze 7 to do my office work every night, the trip was perfect, and we already started planning for next year's trip. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you're going through hell, keep going. --- Sir Winston Churchil Fools rush in where fools have been before. --- Socratex
The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he said, "I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day." "Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dana Seaman, 61 in Belleview, Florida Man awaiting sobriety test takes last swig BELLEVIEW, Fla. (AP) - Authorities said a central Florida man took one last swig of alcohol while waiting to take a sobriety test. Marion County Sheriff's deputies stopped 61-year-old Dana Seaman after noticing his car swerve three times. Seaman said he'd been drinking and agreed to a sobriety test. But first, Deputy Eric Larson said he watched Seaman drink from a cup and toss it under the passenger seat. According to a police report, the cup smelled strongly of alcohol. Seaman then refused a breath test. He has been charged with DUI.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bob Re: Mouse Mystery Dear Webby I am having trouble with my mouse.(HP) I have lost the ability to open certain windows with my left click button. The mouse is an HP with the red light on the bottom side. I can open most things by right clicking and hitting open but as with my address book, I cannot get the Insert addresses tab to open so I can select the names I want to send the email to then hit the insert tab, but nothing happens. Ant help would be appreciated. Dear Bob Try making the double-click speed a bit slower, so that you don't have to double-click quite so fast. If that doesn't help, try a different mouse. You probably have a standard el-cheapo mouse, that came with a computer, lying around somewhere. They are perfectly good for testing. If the left-clicking works with that mouse, then your expensive HP mouse needs to be replaced. Currently the best mice are from Logitech. Mice are a very personal item. What might be comfortable for me, might be awkward for you, and vice versa. If possible, buy your mose from Staples. They are not the cheapest vendor, but they have by far the best return and replacement policy. Their employees cheerfully side with you, to make you a happy and loyal customer. Have FUN! DearWebby
A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married in a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nine single women, six widows and two single men rushed to the front.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Polishing Stainless Steel Appliances Save Extra Fast Food Napkins When eating out at fast food restaurants, we are usually given too many napkins that end up in the trash. Now we fold them up and take them with us. They end up in the car for kid clean up, in the purse for emergencies, on the vanity for makeup removal, in the kitchen as a substitute for paper towels or on the table as - surprise - napkins. I'm sure you can come up with lots of places to use these leftover napkins. We never let them go to waste. By Marchall from San Juan, Puerto Rico http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn't talk about his Mother's cooking, and Eve couldn't mention all the men she could/should have married.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, magnificent house, big car, the love of beautiful woman, then, POW! It was all gone!" "What happened?," asked the friend. "My wife found out."

» Cactus Rally 2010
(Dianne is on vacation)
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Can you run Outlook Express on Windows 7 ? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunrday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!


Good Morning, ! Today we left Utah after a very filling breakfast buffet at JB's and headed down I-15. At Exit 18 we peeled off, but instead of the paved part to the campground and recreational area on the eastern side of the freeway, we headed up the steep dirt road on the right side. It is called Cedar Pocket and connects over the mountains to the Old US 91. It is not advised that you drive that road any further than you are willing to hike back from, unless you are in a convoy of off-road vehicles. We only drove up about five miles this time. There the road levels off a bit and there are some gentle ridges with an abundance of many types of cacti. Quite a lot of them were blooming today. After that we headed south, through Virgin Canyon to Nevada. In Virgin Canyon the freeway is carved right into the bottom of a very steep and dramatic canyon. The canyon is too narrow for pull-out spots. You can't stop to take pictures, all you can take is memories, and promise yourself, that some day you'll travel that canyon standing up in a convertible. It is truly awesome! Have FUN! DearWebby
"God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers." --- Jewish Proverb "A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes." --- Robert Frost
Bert's wife decided to use curlers in her hair after she washed it. She came into the Family Room as Bert was watching TV. He said he only stared at her for a moment when she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? At what time is it set to go off?"
The young bride's mother had some old- fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something." "Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?" "Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?" "Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lois J. Harvey, 40, Woman robs bank in front of uniformed officer A would-be bank robber learned a valuable lesson today: Always be aware of your surroundings. The FBI said that Lois J. Harvey, 40, handed a robbery note to a teller at Chase Bank on 1245 E. Long Street. Little did she know, an off-duty Columbus police officer in full uniform was in line behind her. The teller looked at the note and told Harvey she couldn't read it. Frustrated, she tried to explain the note to the teller. Then she noticed the officer, who was in the bank to make a deposit, the FBI said. Harvey grabbed the note and left the bank. The officer, not realizing what was happening, stepped up to the teller and was told about the attempted robbery. The officer left the bank and caught up to Harvey, who then tried to eat the note. She was arrested and made to cough up the note onto the sidewalk. Harvey was charged with robbery.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hermon Re: Can you run Outlook Express on Windows7 ? Dear Webby good to see you not catering to all the wimps. keep on giving real people what we want. as usual I want to ask a ?. just got a new machine with o/s 7. is it possible to run outlook express without an act of congress? hermon in KY. Dear Hermon I doubt it. In the long run you will be happier, if you pay somebody to exorcise Blonde Windows off that machine and put XP on it. Live is too short to get used to cussing all the time. Have FUN! DearWebby
One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white? Were you THAT bad ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Polishing Stainless Steel Appliances For 3 years I have been struggling to keep my stainless steel appliances clean. They always have drip marks and finger prints on them. Finally, I found the perfect solution and it is something almost everyone has in their home. First clean the surface with warm soapy water and rinse. Yes, I know, you're going to see a lot of streaks. But, then spray WD-40 on a soft, lint-free cloth (I used an old t-shirt) and wipe over the stainless steel surface. Just a tiny bit will do it. A very thin layer of WD-40 will really shine your appliances up and keep them smudge free for a long time. If finger prints or smudges do show up, just a dry soft cloth will erase them instantly. What a time saver this has been! Try it for yourself. Source: I found this tip online after a very frustrating, and unsuccessful cleaning attempt. By antiquefreeque from WI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Woman's Wine Quote: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which we'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter Wine Quote: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A Texan was visiting a Maine farmer ("fahmah"). The Texas rancher was boasting to his host about the size of his spread: "I can get into my pickup truck and drive all day and still not reach the boundary of my ranch", he bragged. The Mainer shook his head knowingly, and replyed, "Aayuhh, I had a truck like that once, too."

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Is XP support really ending? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 8, 2010

Good Morning, ! Today we took a shortcut to Cedar City, through anb area where both Opuntias (Prickly Pears) and Engelmanns were both abundant and in full bloom. Dad was ecstatic. Click, Click, Click, Click,... Yes, we did climb some barb wire fences, but out in the desert nobody seems to pay attention to that. We don't take anything (except pictures), and we don't leave anything behind. In Cedar City we had some excellent cheese cake at an empty Dennys, where they were so glad to see us, that the manager came out to open the door for us. The coffee there was way above Utah average too, I would say on par with Tim Hortons in Canada, three classes above Starbucks. From there it was a high speed run up Highway 56 to Beryl Junction, then down Highway 18 to Veyo. Beautiful road and no traffic, well no slow traffic holding you back. A bit past Veyo we veered off to Snow Canyon, a hidden gem known to very few people. There you see black volcanic craters amidst red and burned orange and apricot mountains, and at this time of year a lot of blooming desert flowers and cacti, a real riot of color. Many of the craggy mountains show a lot of holes, left by animals or sea life that were buried in the ocean bottom mud and turned to oil and gas, while the mud turned to stone. Eventually, though, we headed down to St George, up the Interstate 15 and off to Hurricane. A great salad bar buffet at JBs rounded off a beautiful day. Have FUN! DearWebby
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." --- Sydney J. Harris A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. --- Doug Larson
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
A young man wanted to get his beautiful wife Tricia something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day Tricia goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do you like your new phone?" She replies "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal- Mart?"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the principal and vice principal of Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, Mexifornia. Students kicked out for displaying American flag Daniel Galli says he and his friends were sitting at a table during brunch break when the vice principal asked two of the boys to remove American flag bandannas that they wearing on their heads and for the others to turn their American flag T-shirts inside out. When they refused, the boys were ordered to go to the principal's office. "They said we could wear it on any other day," Daniel Galli said, "but today is sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it's supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear American flags today." "They said if we tried to go back to class with our shirts not taken off, they said it was defiance and we would get suspended," Dominic Maciel, Galli's friend, said. The boys really had no choice, and went home to avoid suspension. They say they're angry they were not allowed to express their American pride. Their parents are just as upset, calling what happened to their children, "total nonsense." The five boys and their families met with a Morgan Hill Unified School District official Wednesday night. The district and the school do not see eye-to-eye on the incident and released the following statement: The district does not concur with the Live Oak High School administration's interpretation of either board or district policy related to these actions. The boys will not be suspended and were allowed to return to school Thursday. We spotted one of them when he got to campus -- and, yes, he was sporting an American flag T-shirt.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chiquita Re: Is XP support really ending? Dear Webby I read at various places that Microsoft support for XP will be ending soon. Is that just paid propaganda, or something to worry about? Chiquita Dear Chiquita Just paid propaganda. Make a note of whoever spouts that propaganda, and remember that they are full of crap. They will lie about the next topic too, just like they lied about XP support ending in favor of Vista. Most of them are just re-using their old lies and just replacing the word Vista with Windows 7. Microsoft doesn't support Windows 7 either. They just tell you to go to whoever you bought the computer from, AFTER they make you type in the Windows serial number. Since Blonde Windows is not suitable for industry and commerce, the moment they stop security updatesffor XP, there will be a mass migration to Linux. In the current economy companies can't afford to dump millions of perfectly good XP machines and hire 20% more people to cope with the slower W7 operating system. Blonde Windows probably has many cute features for game players and recreational users, but as far as industry and commerce is concerned, it is not something that is needed or justified in the current economy. Especially, since there ARE still problems with Windows 7. A good example is the inability to read SD camera chips, that already have pictures on them. Windows 7, straight out of the box, can't read them. You have to take them to somebody, who is smart enough to either keep an XP machine or else has switched to Linux or Mac. Even though bare-bones machines are more expensive without the subsidy, that Microsoft pays the manufacturers for putting Windows 7 onto new machines, Bare-bones and XP machines are well worth the extra cost in the long run. With XP machines companies don't have to increase staff levels. Same story as with Vista. That is why they skipped Vista. Also, a lot of companies have a "Plan B" ready, a customized Linux installation, that will run all of that company's WORK programs. Plan B can be implemented overnight, and many companies are paving the way towards that by switching from the expensiv e Microsoft Office to the free Open Office. Since nobody ever comes back from Linux to Windows, Microsoft is in no hurry to push industry and commerce to implement Pan B. So, don't let the paid shills stampede you. It would probably be a good idea, though, to get on friendly terms with a neighbor, who has already switched to Linux. Have FUN! DearWebby
A monastery in the English countryside has fallen on hard times, and the monks decide to open a fish- and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, "I suppose you're the 'fish friar?'" "No," answered the brother, straight-faced. "I'm the 'chip monk.'"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Safety Straps to Secure Purse While Shopping Whenever I'm shopping, and shopping carts are available, I "strap" my purse into the child seat. Doing this allows me to shop and not have to worry about my purse being stolen. By ptbyarspp from Lockney, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Q. What is the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A. A hunter lies in wait and a fisherman waits and lies.

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Wrist problem from typing 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, May 7, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Good Morning, ! Today we viewed Zion Park from West to East. Yes, I know, people who have never seen mountains in full color, and think they are all just shades of gray, will think that is silly. However, Zion Park is the equivalent of switching from a Black & White movie to full color. All the mountains, a few thousand of them, are in some shade of red, from apricot to dark wine red. And the mountains there are anything but smooth. Except at mid-day, when the sun is straight overhead, the rough and craggy cliffs on the steep and sheer sides show in great contrast. Like Utah Road 95, Zion Park is 3D on turbo! About 15 years ago I saw a face in one of the mountains in Zion Park, and have shown pictures of it to people. It is a kind and smiling face, a few hundred feet high. Nobody I talked to had noticed it before, but a few people, who have seen my pictures, have since then seen it. Some even got quite religious about it. I don't blame them one bit. That kind and benevolent face in full color in the midst of that magnificent scenery is definitely awe inspiring. But then so are simple boulders in that park. There is one right beside the road, about the size of a small house, with holes in the side from where small and medium size ocean dwellers had displaced mud while it turned to stone Millions of years ago, and on top of it is a three foot high bent and twisted mountain pine, that looks like it is about three to four hundred years old. Everybody else just drives on by, but I am grateful that I saw and noticed it. I stopped and walked back to it, and once I am back on an XP machine, I'll show you a picture of it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job. --- Socratex
A fifth grader looks sad, so her teacher asks, "What's the problem? I hope it's not homework again." "Well, uh, yes it is," the little girl says. "I accidentally made my homework paper into a paper airplane." "That wasn't a very bright thing to do," says the teacher, "but just this once, I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in." "Oh, but that won't work," the girl says, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked, and Little Johnny already handed it in as his."
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer LaPenta, 19, of Round Lake Park, Illinois Jail for inappropriate t-shirt A Round Lake Park woman was held in contempt and jailed for two days for the message on her T-shirt. The message was: "I own the (female body part), so I make the rules." LaPenta said she bought the shirt in the gay section of Spencer's. She said she is openly homosexual and said the judge was a "homophobe" for putting her in custody for wearing the shirt. In addition to her looks, which seem to be quite adequate for permanent protection from pregnancy, her sexual orientation make the text on her t-shirt totally irrelevant. She needs a brain implant even more desperately than silicone, before anybody would consider her wishes as a rule. Associate Judge Helen Rozenburg charged LaPenta with contempt of court for wearing the garment in her courtroom Monday. LaPenta was sitting in the gallery waiting for a friend's case to be called when the judge called her forward. Rozenburg asked LaPenta if she thought her shirt was appropriate. LaPenta said she told the judge that it would have been inaprorpriate had she been the defendant. Rozenburg immediately sentenced her to 48 hours in jail and had her cuffed, LaPenta said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elvira Re: Sore wrists from typing Dear Webby My job involves a lot of typing, and lately it seems that causes me sore and painful wrists. I told my boss that my desk was too high for my kind of work, but he just laughed and said that maybe I was too short and should sit on a stack of pillows. What do you recommend? Elvira Dear Elvira Keep a log of any and all conversations on that topic, with dates and times. Put it in writing that you request a desk or typing surface, that is at the proper height for typing. (Upper arms straight up and down, lower arms and wrists level and wrists supported) There is plenty of information about that on the web, and, depending on your location, your boss could get into serious trouble over that. Keep in mind, though, that contacting Workers Compensation or OSHA behind your boss'es back would most likely be a career limiting move. If it does come to hostilities, your log will make a tremendous difference. Best, though is to try and solve the problem amicably. Find out if your desk can be lowered. Quite often that can be done without incurring any costs. If that can't be done, Home Depot has sturdy slide-out keyboard trays that can be screwed under a desk or even under a drawer for $12 to $15. I have even seen solutions, where a drawer on a counter was reduced in height, and a slide-out keyboard tray was screwed onto the bottom of the modified drawer. There are many solutions, that don't require replacing the desk. Also, consider the high-stem typist chairs with ring type foot rests. Before the women's lib movement decided that typist chairs made women look like sex objects, and promoted executive slouch chairs, there were a lot fewer permanent wrist injuries. Those high stem typist chairs are still available, usually in the $49 - $99 range, but may require some searching. Most furniture places prefer to stock and sell $350 executive chairs. If you can present your boss with a reasonable solution, chances are that he will coopoerate and hostilities won't be necessary. Have FUN! DearWebby
Joe, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Joe's job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered. At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Joe's place?" "Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Safety Straps to Secure Purse While Shopping Whenever I'm shopping, and shopping carts are available, I "strap" my purse into the child seat. Doing this allows me to shop and not have to worry about my purse being stolen. By ptbyarspp from Lockney, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

From Australia, where they have the cold season now: It was so cold last night the police stopped 3 youths pushing a mobile home down the street! When questioned by police they claimed to be trying to jump start the furnace!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Nancy went to the emergency room for medical treatment on two badly burned ears . "What happened" asked the doctor. "Well, I was ironing while I was also watching a soap on TV, when the phone rang. I answered the iron." The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?" "Well, no sooner had I hung up," said Nancy, "when the neighbor called and asked what all the screaming was about."

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¸Mouse dies after two minutes 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 6, 2010

Good Morning, ! It's early morning here, in Hurricane, Utah. We had gone for supper to Lupitas, a Mexican restaurant we had been to before, about five years ago. We had Fajitas again. This time they were totally bland but really greasy. It seemed like the cook had run out of Fajita spices and just used a lot of grease and MSG. MSG has a very predictable effect on me. It makes me very sleepy. After we got back to the hotel I answered email for an hour, but then felt an irresistable urge to have a brief nap. When I regained consciousness, at 4 am, I was not happy. By now all newsletters should have been written and sent out. I will most definitely stay away from Lupitas and the world's blandest Fajitas. Yesterday we traveled South from Escalante and took a mess of pictures of all the orange and apricot-red spires north of Bryce canyon, but didn't go elbow tourists right at the canyon. Done that often enough. Instead, we headed North to Panguitch. The road from there to Broken Cedar National Monument unfortunately was closed. It had snowed the night before and they had not cleared the road yet. Apparently no Glow-Bull warming there. So we headed straight south to the Kanab National Forest. Great scenery and fast, beautiful mountain road. Lake Jacobs, behind the Grand Canyon, looked closed too, but it's not far from there to a breathtaking viewpoint over the Vermillion Cliffs. For those of you, who have never seen the Vermillion Cliffs, it is a red rock cliff 3000 to 6500 feet tall rising abruptly from a flat valley, for over 40 miles! Yes, a 40 mile long red cliff rising out of a green valley. When you come over the crest of the mountain facing them, there is the valley and the cliffs. POW! No matter how often you have seen them, they are totally\ awesome. After gazing at them for a while, we headed North again to Carmel Junction and took a left through Zion Park. Zion Park is breathtaking at any time, but is by far the best very late in the afternoon, when the evening sun casts a warm glow and deep contrasts on all the red and orangy spires. The proper way to enjoy Zion Park would be standing up in a convertible, but with a lot of photo stops the park is awesome enough. Expect tourists to stop in the middle of the road to gawk and take pictures. Just grin and use the opportunity to take some pictures too. You would be extremely silly trying to be in a hurry through Zion Park anyway. By the way, the $25 toll for the park gives you a permit to enter the park for seven days. If it is your first time to see Zion Park, plan on spending a night at either end and seeing it again the next day. You will see a lot, that you missed on the first trip through. Have FUN! DearWebby
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. --- Albert Camus Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. --- Voltaire Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau
If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, why would anyone want to wear a windbreaker?
A woman was in the habit of having long telephone conversations that sometimes lasted over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes. "What is the matter?" asked her husband. "You were on the phone talking for less than half an hour." "I got a wrong number," the woman replied.
Thanks to Sheryl for this picture: Mojave Poppies Dear Webby, I thought you'd like this photo I took of the California Poppies in the Mojave Desert, California. It was taken in April. Sheryl
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 20 year old car thief from Milwaukee, Wisconsin Car thief in drag leads cops on high-speed chase A man dressed in women's clothing and makeup has been stealing cars and leading police on high-speed chases. According to Wauwatosa police: The most recent incident occurred Friday morning, when a motorcycle cop stopped a speeding vehicle in the 9800 block of Byron Place. The officer immediately noticed the male driver was dressed as a woman, so he asked for identification. The driver did not have a license and got nervous when the officer asked who owned the car. The driver quickly accelerated the car and fled. A chase ensued for about a minute, but with the fleeing vehicle reaching speeds of 100 mph and driving recklessly, officers decided to stop the chase for the safety of other drivers. A check of the license plate number showed the vehicle had been stolen from Brookfield Square two weeks earlier. Brookfield police say the driver is a 20-year-old Milwaukee man who has taken several vehicles and used them in high-speed chases, each time dressed in women's clothing and makeup. One of these days they are going to get him and not let him get away.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette re: Mouse dies after two minutes Dear Webby I need your help sweetheart! why is it everytime here lately I am online about 2 mins and my mouse freezes up? what can I do to stop this?, I love your letter every day and I do appreciate all you do, I know you put a lot of work into your website, take care and thanks for all your help, Sincerly, Annette. Dear Annette I would try replacing the driver for that mouse straight from the CD, that came with it, or downloaded from the manufacturer's web site. If that doesn't help, replace the mouse. You may be able to limp along by unplugging and re-plugging the mouse, whenever it locks up. If that briefly helps, it is a good indication that it is time for a replacement. If a different mouse does not cause the same problem, don't put the bad mouse on a shelf to frustrate you again some other time. Dispose of it permanently. Have FUN! DearWebby
A heart surgeon died and his wife carefully planned his funeral. She had arranged for his coffin to sit in front of a large heart made from flowers. At the end of the funeral the heart opened and the coffin was rolled into it. At that point a man in the back started laughing hysterically. The woman beside him, appalled at his behavior, asked "Why are you laughing!" "I was just thinking about my own funeral," he sputtered out between laughs. "I am a ......ologist!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mother's Day Garden For Mother's Day 7 years ago, my husband and sons picked several rose bushes to plant for me in my "Mother's Day" Garden. It has bloomed beautifully since then and it was great to have all 4 sons and my husband work together on a project for me. By Maria from Dallas, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The crumbling, old church building needed re- modeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." As he sat back down, somebody a few rows behind him lightly tossed a bit of plaster that had fallen there, onto him. The rich guy virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." As he sat down, somebody tossed an even larger chunk of plaster onto him. He jumped up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon, who had not seen the pranksters, to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again! We'll get a new church yet!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Brenda's 6 year old was explaining to the other kids what "extinct" meant: "Well," she said in all seriousness, "it means that the dinosaurs are all dead and have been dead so long they don't stink anymore, that's why they call them exstinkt."

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How to fix file association problems 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Good Morning, ! Today we backtracked on our route to look at some features in more detail. Across from the Hotel here is the Escalante Gallery, where there isn't just beautiful artwork displayed and sold, but also Tracy and Jan, the proprietors, who have an XP computer! Jan copied the pictures from one camera chip onto a DVD for me, and I finally got to see what kinds of pictures this camera takes. My good ol Canon IS-2S didn't survive the airport security, or maybe the flight, and I wound up having to buy a cheap replacement on the way out of Las Vegas. While Jan did the copying, Tracy told me about interesting places in the area, and even drew me a map. He even told me about some ancient rock drawings near the bridge about 13 miles back and even showed me some pictures he took. It didn't take us long to get to that bridge, and by sheer coincidence a couple of very athletic, young rock climbers happened to be there, preparing to climb up to where the petroglyphs are. So I followed them, and found out rather quickly that my climbing skills and condition had deteriorated somewhat in the 40 years difference in our ages. One of the friendly fellows even gave me a helping hand on a challenging spot, but after that I lagged behind. I made it up about 300 feet above the road and saw the small set of petroglyphs, but started to seriously overheat. So I turned back, and made it safely back to the road just a minute before they got back too. They had gon on to a second set, but according to them, I didn't really miss anything. On the way down I had found some very pretty triglochitaus cacti with fire red blossoms, and took a bunch of pictures of them. On the road up from the canyon bottom I decided to take a picture for an overview showing the terrain where that type of cactus lives. From there nI saw that there nwould have been a much easier and a lot less strenuous route up that cliff. Next time. After that we checked out some sights on the "Hole In The Rock" area and found quite a few more cacti to take pictures of. Wednesday, as you read this, we will be traveling to Bryce Canyon, Panguitch Lake, Brian Head, Cedar Breaks National Monument, Carmel, Zion Park, and Hurricane. I got another 2 Gb camera chip and spare batteries ready in the car. Have FUN! DearWebby
When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi, Mom! --- Laurie Anderson "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." ---Ben Williams
Several months after a young man is hired, he is called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asks. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years of experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well," the young man replies, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination, and since it was your accounting department who found out, and not my foreman, I would say that was good enough."
Two highway patrolmen stop a driver for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they are writing up the ticket, one trooper turns to the other and asks, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replies, "I don't know." "What are we going to do?" the first one asks. "If we spell it wrong, the judge will dismiss the charge." "Well," says his partner, "why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Waco?"
Indian Paintbrush on Route 12 in Utah
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a Bonehead in Calgary, Alberta. Sent in by Dianne: Man takes dangerous CTrain ride Calgary Transit is investigating after a dangerous stunt on a moving CTrain. CTrain is Calgary's Light Rapid Transit train. Ctrains are operated by remote control, mostly by computer. There is no staff on board the trains or at the stations. A man was caught on video, by a CTV Calgary viewer, riding on the coupling between two CTrain cars. The video was taken last Thursday and shows the man riding outside the train over the Bow River. At one point he pulls out a bottle of booze and gives fellow passengers the finger. Laura Bevelander took the video and says she called for help using the LRT help box, as well as dialing 911. Calgary transit says it received her messages and dispatched police. The man hopped off the train at the next station and stood on the platform. By the time officers got to the station the man was no longer there. Officers are still trying to track him down. According to Calgary bylaws, the man could be charged with a penalty of up to $2,000. Calgary Transit officials say they will be meeting with police on Wednesday and will forward the case onto them. If the man is found, he could face criminal mischief charges which come with a penalty of six-months in prison and/or a $2,000 fine.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jaye re: File Association problem Dear Webby Windows has the following information about this file type. This page will help you find software needed to open your file. File Type: Unknown Description: Windows does not recognize this file type. UT-12Tour. Now what?": Jaye Dear Jaye first download Google Earth from http://earth.google.com and install it. Then, when Windows plays stupid, and acts like it does not know what to do with a kmz file, hit the browse button on that screen and select Google Earth, and tell it to always use that program for that type of file. KMZ files have been around for a long time, but Windows acts like they are something new. By the way, it would be a very good idea, if you went into the File Explorer, Tools, Folder Options, View, and put a checkmark on showing file extensions at all times. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two young men are speculating on how long they might live, and one says he thinks he has a long life ahead of him. "After all," he says, "my grandfather lived to be 96." "Ninety-six? What finally got him?" the other man asks. "Liquor and women." "Well, that just goes to show you," snickers the friend, "both will get you in the end." "Well actually, no, it's not what you think," says the first man. "Toward the end, Grandpa couldn't get either one, so he just laid down and died."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Label Reusable Containers With Dry Erase Markers I buy most of my dry goods in bulk and store them in the pantry in re-used glass or plastic containers. Rather than labeling the containers with tape which sometimes leaves the sticky residue, I use erasable markers (vis-a-vis), the kind that wipe off with water. We use the same markers on the wipe-off calendar to keep up with the family schedule. I write on the side of the container what it is, and the basic directions, and the date. Several items appear the same, and the kids can easily tell the difference now between flour and pancake mix. The marker will smudge if handled with wet hands, but when that happens I just re-write it. By jwheeler from Stockton, IA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Late one night in Washington, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money!" he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this. I'm a United States Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his anxious patient. "You only have six months to live." The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time." "Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."

» Cactus Rally 2010
(Dianne is on vacation)
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Google earth tour speed control 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Good Morning, ! It appears that some of you like my travel reports enough to write and comment, but that enough others don't like them taking space away from the jokes, so that the votes dropped quite noticeably. Actually, I had expected the opposite, that personal content would improve the voting. Well, live and learn. I'll keep this part short. Today we traveled from Torrey, Utah to Escalante. According to a sign, Highway UT12 was built as a make-work project from 1933 to 1935, with a lot of sweat and a lot of dynamite. Nowadays it would take longer than that just to get the Environmental Impact Studies done, and those alone would cost ten times more than the one Million Dollars that UT12 cost. It is an awesome road! If you looked at UT-12 Tour and clicked on Play Tour half way down the left menu, then you know how awesome it is. Especially the "Devil's Backbone" area had us stopping to take pictures often more than twice in the same mile. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Sandie for this one: As she was about to leave the house for her new job, she thought it would be fun if he picked her up at work and they could go out to dinner. She put a note on their dining room table that said, "For a good time, call..." and she put her new work number. When her husband failed to call, she took the bus home. "Where were you?" she asked. "Didn't you get my note?" "Oh," he replied with a sheepish grin, "I wasn't sure who wrote it."
Bert's wife enrolled Molly, her lovable but dumb cocker spaniel, in a ten-week obedience class. At the end of the term Molly had made little progress. She re-enrolled her, but at the end of the second course Molly was still noticeably behind her canine classmates. The instructor, perhaps determined to succeed with that dog, offered to let her repeat the course for the third time at no charge. That evening Bert heard his wife on the phone with her mother. "Guess what?" she said. "Molly was the only dog in her class to get a scholarship!"
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Song Sparrow in the rain
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 47 year old Bonehead in Calgary, Alberta. Calgary man nearly electrocuted A 47-year-old Calgary man is in critical condition after nearly being electrocuted near Strathmore. The man was severely jolted while trying to retrieve a model rocket from a high-volotage power line at a rural property northwest of Strathmore at about 10 a.m. Sunday. RCMP say the man was on a metal ladder and used a metal pole to dislodge the rocket from the power line. After the massive jolt, he plunged about eight metres (25 feet) to the ground. Bystanders performed CPR until EMS arrived. The man was transported to Strathmore Hospital where he was picked up by STARS Air Ambulance and transported to Foothills Medical Centre in Calgary where he remains in critical condition. A second man was also injured. He was treated at Strathmore Hospital and released.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Angela re: Google Earth Tour Dear Webby I have been on a LOT of bus tours, trying to make sure that my ungratefrul heirs won't be burdened with any undeserved funds, -and I am still working on that project-, but I have NEVER been on any tour, on which I saw a tenth of the scenery, that I saw on your tours. The only part, that I don't like is the high speed. Driving that fast is rather nerve-wracking for me. Do you really have to drive THAT fast? Is there a way to watch the tour in slow motion, like the instant replays in sports? Thanks Angela Dear Angela Those tours are not real movies of me driving. They are just a computer simulation, and you can adjust the speed. I set the speed quite high, so that people can watch it during a coffee break. You can adjust the speed to whatever is most comfortable for you. Just click on Tools, Options, Touring, and slide the control for speed to the left. A fringe benefit of that is that a slower driving speed gives the computer time to show more landscape details. For those of you, who just saw a route line and no movie of flying the route, go half way down the side menu on Google Earth, and look for a button with 3 little squares or a movie camera on it. If you hover over that, it says: "Play Tour". Hit that! Here is the link again: UT-12 Save that and run it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Roland for this story: As I was nursing my baby, my cousin's six-year-old daughter, Krissy, came into the room. Never having seen anyone breast feed before, she was intrigued and full of all kinds of questions about what I was doing. After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom has some of those, but I don't think she knows how to use them.'
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Second Hand Smoke Hurts Pets I was recently hospitalized when I couldn't breathe because of what began as a bad cold. Not surprisingly, after being a life long smoker, I was diagnosed with COPD (Acute Bronchitis). Needless to say an oxygen saturation count of 84 was enough for me to finally give up those cigarettes for good, but it also has made me think about the effects my unhealthy habit has had on others in my life. Thankfully, I have not smoked inside my home for over a decade and this new alert from the ASPCA makes me even more thankful for that, because my seven year old indoor cat Rachel had serious lung problems already when I rescued her as a kitten. Please read this alert! And it's not only the second hand smoke you need to consider when it comes to the health of your loved ones and your beloved pets: * Secondhand Smoke: Silent Killer Hurts Pets, Too By Deeli from Richland, WAhttp://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

His wife's graveside service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Sounds like she's been told!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?" "No, sir," a student called out. "No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin won't dissolve." "Well, Professor Mc Scottish, if it would, you would have asked for MY coin for the experiment !"

» Cactus Rally 2010
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Configuring Google Earth for a tour 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 3, 2010

Good Morning, ! Sunday morning greeted us with snow and very uncomfortable wind. So we decided on a day of rest and catching up on email. Yesterday, I didn't mean to pooh-pooh Monument Valley. Those majestic spires are definitely very unique and very interesting sights. That is why Millions of people come from all over the world to look up at them and shiver in awe, and to take memories and pictures home. Those lonely spires only pale, when you drive SR95. There you see forests of multi-colored rock spires, from ochre to black, from apricot to orange to dark wine colored, and often many colors in contrasting bands. Some of the craggy spires have countless round holes of different sizes. The holes are from once living things that died, sunk into the mud to the bottom of the ocean and eventually turned to oil and gas, while the mud turned to stone. It is anybody's guess whether the holes were once filled by an ocean dweller, or by something washed into the ocean by a river. The high incidence of holes in some areas, and total absence in others, definitely makes me think that the areas with lots of holes were once a river estuary or delta, where dead land animals flushed towards the ocean by a flood Millions of years ago, have sunk into the mud. All those spires and craggy, steep and colorful mountains and canyons are totally awesome, and well worth a trip. If you can't get there, here is a Google Earth tour of it: SR95, save, then run ( You need Google Earth installed to run that tour. ) Keep in mind that Google Earth smoothes the details of steep mountains and canyons, no matter how rugged and craggy they are, to be able to show a fast tour on even an old computer. It will still be an awesome trip! Have FUN! DearWebby
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. --- Charlie McCarthy Lazyness is the mother of invention, not necessity. --- Socratex
An airport ticketing agent was working at the counter and began asking a passenger the required security questions. "Have you received any objects from an unknown person to carry aboard the airplane today?" "No," said the woman. "Did you pack your own suitcase?" she inquired, pointing to the traveler's rolling carry- on bag. "Yes," she answered. "Has your bag been under your control since you've been in the airport?" "Well, no, not exactly," the passenger said with a sigh. "The silly thing keeps either trying to go every which way, or else it's trying to trip me. I feel like I am under IT's control."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steven Simmons, 49, in Marion, Florida VERY Bad Example: Teacher caught stealing from student's lockers Students sick of getting their lockers broken into and having their money disappear set up a cell phone camera to hopefully catch the crook in the act. Deputies said the video showed the crook was Steven Simmons, 49, their PE teacher. It's news that spread quickly at North Marion High School. “There's videos going around and forwarded messages of his mug shot, and it's crazy,” said Shelby Revels, a North Marion High student. Deputies said at first Simmons denied going into the lockers. However, when confronted with the video, they said he confessed to stealing money from students for years. This year, it totaled around $400. “When you think about it, like, he does have a job,” Revels said. “He can work for his money. Why would he steal it, especially from the school he works at. I just think that's insane.” A spokesman for Marion County Schools said Simmons has nothing negative in his employee file after working in the school district for 25 years, which makes this all the more surprising to those who know him. Deputies said after years of thefts and no other suspects, the video played a key role. “It wasn't until a student set up this video and actually caught the teacher doing it and he was able to say look you can clearly see it's the Physical Education teacher,” said Jenifer Lowe, a spokeswoman for the Marion County Sheriff’s Office. A school spokesman said it's possible the student who recorded the cell phone video will get in trouble as well, because students are not supposed to use their phones during the day. School officials said they are not allowed to record video in locker rooms because of privacy. There is no word on what the repercussions for the student will be. --- I have a hunch that they will have a major discipline problem and quite possibly some major vandalism, if they punish that student.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Maia re: Google Earth Dear Webby I downloaded Google Earth, but the whole thing is a bit intimidating. How do you set all those parameters for a tour? I am afraid I will mess it up for good. Can you 'splain it in simple terms? Thanks Maia Dear Maia Don't worry, you can always restore the defaults. There is a button for that at the left bottom corner in TOOLS, OPTIONS in Google Earth. If you download and save the tour file, that I mention at the top, it will set the parameters for you. If you want to set them for a tour of your own, set the camera angle to 80 degrees, the distance to 1000 Meters / 3000 feet and the speed about half way. You can always increase the speed, if your computer can handle it, without smoothing and glossing over too many details. In the 3D part in the options, set the height exaggeration to 2:1. At a camera angle like 80 degrees, that gives you the best results. While you are reading this, I will be driving UT-12 Save that and run it. Have FUN! DearWebby
In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." and hand written underneath: "Sandals can eat any place they want."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Your Bread Bag Ties no new tip at http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age. --- We spend the first six years teaching our children to walk and talk, and the next fifteen years telling them to sit down and be quiet.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Bernie's mom admitted to being a less than fastidious housekeeper. One evening dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and said, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel." Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Well, darling, that's a pretty good start! I'm sure with some patient practising you could even learn to dust it!"

» Cactus Rally 2010
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Norton Adware after UN-installing Norton 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, May 2, 2010

Good Morning, ! Today we headed north from Holbrook to ganado, Chinle, and Many Farms. There we took Indian Road 59 as a shortcut to Kayenta. It is an unknown and largely ignored road, but has good pavement and great scenery. After gassing up in Kayenta we headed north into Utah and Monument Valley. Still looks the same as last time we had clear weather there for taking pictures, but we did detour in to Goulding for lunch. Then we passed all the slow gawkers, and made good progress on Highway 163 and 261 up to Blanding. Don`t look for ANY signs or mention of SR95. Just drive to Blanding. At the southern end of the village is an inconspicuous sign that finally acknowledges that SR95 exists, and that it goes off to the left. State Route 95 apparently is a secret. It has excellent pavement, and truly AWESOME scenery. Monument Valley and Valley Of The Gods are nice, but rather boring by comparison. Keep going afterwards to Torrey, Utah, and you have 175 miles of scenery overload. The road is wide and the curves are gentle. You can take anybody along on that road. SR95 has just become my most scenic road today. I will most definitely drive it again. To get a rough idea of that road, fly it with Google Earth! First do DIRECTIONS, from Blanding, UT to Torrey, UT. Set the options for a camera angle of 85 degrees, your altitude to 250 meters or 750 feet, and the speed to SLOW. The faster you fly, the more Google Earth will round things off. It will still look like everything is smoothed with a thick layer of ice on your helicopter window, but you will get a good idea of the terrain. Have FUN! DearWebby
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."
Two women are discussing marriage, and one says, "We've been married 10 years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food." "That's awful," the other woman says. "That must really bother you." "No, not in the slightest," says the first one. "You must be a saint," her friend says. "Why should I object?" the first one says. "A lot of people don't like their own cooking."
SR95, not my picture. My camera is still sandbagged by W7.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jayson Stevenson, Rico Razaly, Dennis Heinz and some other hockey coaches from Cobourg Ontario. Bad Example Hockey brawls aren’t news. When they’re in a bar, that makes them a little more interesting. When they’re in a bar and they involve the DADS of the players….who are also the coaches… now you’re talking. So we’re pleased to bring you an update on the boozy battle at the bar at the Holiday Inn Grand Island. But first…let’s refresh your memory. Erie County sheriff’s deputies were called to the bar last December. When they arrived they were….and this is a direct quote from their press release… “met by a bar full of belligerent, obnoxious, intoxicated Ontario men”. Which kind of sums up most Ontario men….but that’s another story. The Canadians were in town for a youth hockey tournament. Deputies say they were attacked the minute they entered the bar….so they called for backup. That led to a bunch of American cops and a bunch of Canadian hockey dads pretty much re-enacting the War of 1812 (ironically, in the same area where the War of 1812 was actually fought). Oh yeah….one of the Canadians also pulled his pants down. So after the ruckus, three men from Cobourg Ontario were arrested. The rest apparently got away. They were in Grand Island Town Court last night. Jayson Stevenson pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of attempted obstructing governmental administration….had every other charge dismissed…and paid a little over $700 in fines. Rico Razaly was told if he stays out of trouble for six months, his case will be dismissed. Dennis Heinz had his case adjourned till May 12th. Stevenson and Heinz, by the way, both resigned their positions as youth hockey coaches….you know, the whole “setting a bad example for the kids” thing. But if they ever make “Slap Shot 4”, these guys should be first in line for a consulting job.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jean re: Norton nagger after un-install I've uninstalled Norton, and used your Norton Removal Tool to get rid of it, but the Norton Online Backup Window keeps coming up when I start the computer! I'm using Windows 7 knowing I should have gotten XP, but live and learn. Any help in getting rid of it would be appreciated Thanks, Jean Dear Jean Is that ad-ware put onto your machine by some sleazy seller of the machine? Screech a temper tantrum at the obnoxious crooks, and tell them you paid for your machine and that you won't tolerate that the W7 lemon, that they conned you into, is being used to earn commissions for a bunch of two-bit con artists. Demand that they tell you instantly how to get their obnoxious ad-ware off the machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
Good jokes always come back. Here is an Oldie Goldie that came back to me today: What would Bible characters drive? One theory is that God would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua also drove a Triumph, but with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Thus following their Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda ...."All the Apostles were in one Accord."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Your Bread Bag Ties Do not throw away your bread ties from the bread bags. I reuse them for opened frozen veggies, or anything that I open that needs a tie. Keep a stash in your kitchen drawer, you will be amazed how handy they become. By Justin from Yakima, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over to the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties... He's the one without horns."

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How do I reclaim space used by Windows Live OneCare Backup 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 1, 2010

Good Morning, ! Today we headed north from Willcox, AZ, via Safford. The part after Safford is a bit confusing, since it looks like a 2-bit country road at first, but eventually 191 turns into quite a decent highway. Next town is Clifton, a cute old mining town, and Morenci a truly awesome, world class copper mine. From Morenci straight north to Alpine is a hundred miles of pure fun for a curve carving, tire squealing adrenalin junkie, but probably sheer terror for timid drivers, and even worse for their passengers. When you see signs saying 15 MPH Motorcycles use extreme caution! then you know that hairpin is going to be a noisy squealer, and most likely followed by another squealer in the opposite direction. Needless to say, there are no trucks on that road, and very few cars. However, the pavement is excellent, and the scenery superb. This was my second, but by no means last time I drove that road. That road dipps into some valleys but is mostly up high, and some areas still had deep snow beside the road. Glow-bull warming is definitely over for this cycle. Also saw a bunch of white-tail deer beside the road. They kept a safe distance when I stopped and backed up to take pictures, but they didn't bolt into the forest. Past Alpine there was Blue Vista, a view point definitely worth stopping for. You look down over lower mountains and the foothills and the rolling prairies, and the view most definitely has a distinctly blue tinge. After we got down to lower altitudes, it was mostly just rolling prairies and fast, empty roads all the way to Holbrook. Have FUN! DearWebby
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. --- Robert Frost It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought. --- John Kenneth Galbraith
Little Johnny was reading from a Hans Christian Anderson book. "Miss Figpot?" Little Johnny asked, "Does m-i- r-a-g-e spell marriage?" "No Johnny," sighed the teacher. "But it should."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Travis E. Conner III, 18 in Chicago Man charged after police track him through GPS in stolen taxi CHICAGO (STMW) -- A man is charged with robbery and aggravated vehicular hijacking after police found him at a gas station through the GPS in a stolen taxi cab. Travis E. Conner III, 18, of the 2900 block of West Fulton Street, is charged with one count of robbery and aggravated vehicular hijacking, according to a release from police News Affairs. Conner allegedly forced a taxi cab driver out of his taxi at gun point about 3:30 a.m. Sunday, the release said. He dropped his cell phone at the scene before fleeing in the cab, which is equipped with a Global Positioning System. Using the GPS, police found Conner at a gas station in the 6300 block of North Central Avenue, the release said. He was identified and a semi-automatic handgun was recovered. Conner is scheduled for a bond hearing Monday, the release said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Glenn re: How do I reclaim space used by Windows Live OneCare Backup Hi, Webby, thank you so much for all of your helpful insights into computer (usually) malfunctions. For several years I used Windows Live One Care, till a virus wiped it out. So of course now it doesn't work. I can't use any of the Microsoft programs to restore the backups I made with Windows Live "Screw Up". Nor can I delete the *** gigabytes of external hard disk space used by that useless backup program. I had to do the format recovery to save the hard disk, but have lost everything I saved on the computer. No backup with Windows. How do I remove all the read only memory protected files of Live One "Don't Care" on that external hard disk? Thanks, Glenn Dear Glenn I am not familiar with Windows Live One Care, and considering the reputation it has, I don't plan to become familiar with it. If you don't have other, good stuff on that drive, you can format it. However, if you just want to get rid of certain parts of it, you can go to that drive with the DOS command line and change the file attributes. Let's assume that drive is drive E: START RUN cmd e: attrib -R -A -S -H E:\*.* /D then you should be able to delete that folder, and with any luck subdirectories inside that folder. You may have to repeat that for subdirectories. Quite possibly One Care also set the back-up folder as a network folder, as if it was across a LAN network, instead of on the second drive or on the end of a USB cable, and took ownership of that fake networked drive, just as if that drive was on your Mother-In-Law`s computer at the other end of the house, and she was the only one with access to it. Find that back-up folder and select it. In the right click menu, select Sharing and Security. When the Sharing and Security tab of the Properties dialog comes up, place a check mark in the middle section - "Share this folder on the network." Give the Share a name in the box for "Share Name". And place a check mark in "allow network users to change files." If necessary, change the attributes again after you set the network permissions. Have FUN! DearWebby
Delta Airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dawn Dish Soap as a Stain Remover I had a cat go on the carpet in my boy's bedroom. I was out of carpet cleaner, so I got an old tea towel. I made it wet with hot water and put Dawn dish soap on it. The stain came out and then I tried it on other stains in the room that I had already tried all kinds of cleaning products on that had never came out. The stains were gone and the carpet looks new again. I am going to use Dawn dish soap on all my carpet spills, and stains. With 3 kids, a dog and 2 cats I will always be needing it. By Kristie from Glen Rock, PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Jack's grandfather left him $10 million, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men's names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her. "Diane," he said, "the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me $10 million when he died." "Don't be ridiculous," she replied, "I don't care who gave you the money!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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When his eyes began to give him trouble, a man went to a ophthalmologist in Prague. The doctor showed the patient the eye chart, displaying the letters CVKPNWXSCZ. "Can you read that?" the doctor asked. "Can I read it?" the Czech replied. "I dated his sister!"

» Cactus Rally 2010
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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