Tuesday, May 31, 2016, 10:26 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 3
June 2nd I have to go to Calgary for injections into
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Indiana man arrested after drinking rubbing alcohol,
threatening nephews, waving sword at deputies
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 31, in
1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
--- Anais Nin (1903 - 1977)
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow
why the things he predicted yesterday
didn't happen today.
--- Laurence J. Peter
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Rita
When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where
occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress
down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks.
A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he
exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You
look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger.
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A farmer & his hired man were eating breakfast at the local
diner. Thinking of all the work they had to get done that
day, the farmer told the hired man he might as well go ahead
& eat his dinner too. The hired man didn't say a word, but
filled his plate a second time & proceeded to eat. After
awhile the farmer said, "We've got so much work to do today,
you might as well eat your supper now too."
Again, the hired man didn't respond but refilled his plate a
third time & continued to eat. Finally, after eating his
third plate of food, the hired man pushed back his chair &
began to take off his shoes. "What are you doing?" the
farmer asked.
The hired man replied, "I don't work after supper."
______________________________________________________
"Louisa, could you help me with my math homework?"
asked her younger brother.
Certainly not," replied Louisa indignantly.
"It wouldn't be right."
"Probably not," said her brother, "but you could at least
try and show me how you faked it !"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Natalike for this picture:
Natalie's Epiphylum
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Indiana man arrested after drinking rubbing alcohol,
threatening nephews, waving sword at deputies
Harley Pasley,
23,
Taylorsville,
Indiana
Deputies arrested a man who allegedly waved a sword at them
after drinking rubbing alcohol.
On Monday just after 7:30 p.m., Bartholomew County sheriff’s
deputies responded to a 911 call about domestic battery.
The caller told police her brother, 23-year-old Harley
Pasley of Taylorsville, was intoxicated and causing a
disturbance.
She said Pasley had cut her hand with glass and was
threatening to hurt his nephews, ages 2 and 8.
A deputy was told on the scene that Pasley had been drinking
rubbing alcohol and had gone to a storage building outside.
The deputy went out and said Pasley leaned out holding a
cutlass sword. He allegedly began swinging it and yelling at
deputies.
Pasley came outside the the deputies had him at gunpoint. He
refused to drop the sword at first, but eventually
complied.
Police say when Pasley dropped to his knees again, he
reached for the sword. A deputy used his Taser at that time
but it was not effective.
They eventually got the sword away from Pasley and took him
into custody. He was transported to Columbus Regional
Hospital to be evaluated for consuming rubbing alcohol.
He was then taken to the Batholomew County Jail on charges
of battery and interfering with a 911 call.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ross
RE: CrapCleaner
Dear Webby
Is CrapCleaner still around?
Ross
Dear Ross
Yes, sure!
It is still at http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner
And of course also still on my toolbox page at
http://webby.com/tools
Just scroll down.
Over the years, CrapCleaner has gotten even better,
and is still the first tool to use when your machine
slows down.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant.
When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann
made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her
own pair.
"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve
of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."
The waiter inspected her chopsticks.
"Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly from sca-ace,
endange-ad animahs, instead of fahm gwown choptick wood.
In old time ony litch sumbitch bigshot use ivoly choptick to
make shua wood was not poisoned."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Question: Rotary Tool (Dremel) Crafts
By Kathleen Champlain [1 Post]
Are there any Dremel tool projects on line? Can someone help
by recommending a site?
By Kathleen from Broomfield, CO
By Lisa [2 Posts, 656 Comments]
Flag
December 21, 2010
Have you checked the Dremel website? I looked there a few
months ago, and I feel like I saw quite a few projects.
Also, there might be videos on youtube if you do a search.
I've been using ours with the flex shaft attachment to
polish some of the jewelry I make. Probably not as good as
the dedicated flex shafts available to jewelry makers, but
since we already had the equipment, it works for me!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Dear Webby,The joke about the kid wanting money
reminded me of my little brother who was always
"borrowing" money and never remembered to pay it back.
Soon everyone learned to say they didn't have any if he
asked to borrow money , then one night he asked me if I
had change for a twenty dollar bill, so, like a fool I said
yes .
He said "Can I borrow it."
I just had to thump him, for his own good.
___________________________________________________
 | she sat and smiled at strangers - moving |
____________________________________________________
A doctor in Oklahoma recently made a seriously incorrect
diagnosis.
He treated a patient for a cold before learning the
guy could afford a virus and a flu.
____________________________________________________
While on their honeymoon Judy told her new husband:
"Dear, don't expect the first few meals to be great.
It takes time to find the right restaurant.”
____________________________________________________
 |
May- Best of the Month.....PEOPLE ARE AWESOME!
|
Today on May 31
1433 Sigismund was crowned emperor of Rome.
1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation.
1870 E.J. DeSemdt patented asphalt.
1884 Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented "flaked cereal."
1889 In Johnstown, PA, more than 2,200 people died after
the South Fork Dam collapsed.
1900 U.S. troops arrived in Peking to help put down the
Boxer Rebellion.
1902 The Boer War ended between the Boers of South Africa
and Great Britain with the Treaty of Vereeniging.
1907 The first taxis arrived in New York City. They were
the first taxis in the United States.
1910 The Union of South Africa was founded.
1913 The 17th Amendment went into effect. It provided for
popular election of U.S. senators.
1915 A German zeppelin made an air raid on London.
1927 Ford Motor Company produced the last "Tin Lizzie"
in order to begin production of the Model A.
1947 Communists seized control of Hungary.
1961 South Africa became an independent republic.
1962 Adolf Eichmann was hanged in Israel. Eichmann was a
Gestapo official.
1970 An earthquake in Peru killed tens of thousands of people.
1974 Israel and Syria signed an agreement on the Golan Heights.
1977 The trans-Alaska oil pipeline was finished after 3
years of construction.
1979 Zimbabwe proclaimed its independence.
1994 The U.S. announced it was no longer aiming long-range
nuclear missiles at targets in the former Soviet Union.
1995 Bob Dole singled out Time Warner for "the marketing
of evil" in movies and music. Dole later admitted that he
had not seen or heard much of what he had been criticizing.
2003 In North Carolina, Eric Robert Rudolph was captured.
He had been on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list for five years
for several bombings including the 1996 Olympic bombing.
2016 smiled.
|
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Monday, May 30, 2016, 08:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 30
Grateful Memorial Day!
June 2nd I have to go to Calgary for injections into
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Auburn,Washington man, who hit his wife with the getaway
car as she was being chased by loss prevention officers.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 30, in
1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the
time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes
Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool
usually has his suspicions.
--- Wilson Mizner
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Ann
My kids never understood my logic.
They totally failed to see why they had to go to bed
when I was tired.
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an
easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!"
Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct
two special services last night, three today, and give a
total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?"
"Dearest," she replied, "I had to pretend to listen to all
of them!"
______________________________________________________
A woman approached the minister after the sermon,
and thanked him for his discourse.
"I found it so helpful," she said.
The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful
as the last sermon you heard me preach."
"Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman.
"Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three
years."
______________________________________________________
Meteora in Kalabaka, Greece
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Auburn man hits wife with getaway car as she is being
chased by loss prevention officers.
Ernest Price, 49,
Cynthia Cornethan, 49,
Auburn,
Washington.
A husband hit his wife with his pickup in a department-store
parking lot in Redmond, thwarting the couple’s attempt to
make off with stolen merchandise, according to King County
prosecutors.
A shoplifting excursion to the Kohl’s store in Redmond
didn’t go as planned for a trio of thieves, even though two
women managed to carry out more than $750 worth of
merchandise in foil-lined shopping bags, according to King
County prosecutors.
One member of the alleged shoplifting team dropped the bags
containing perfume, clothing, shoes and other items, along
with her purse and ID, when her husband hit her with their
pickup as the getaway went awry, charging papers say.
The husband had intended to run down the store’s pursuing
loss-prevention officer, who jumped out of the way, and the
truck plowed into the driver’s wife instead, according to
the documents.
The wife and a second woman got in the truck, and the three
sped off, according to the charges filed for the Nov. 11
incident.
The suspected driver, 49-year-old Ernest Price, of Auburn,
was arrested on a warrant and booked into the Maleng
Regional Justice Center in Kent on Thursday, jail and court
records show. Charged with second-degree assault and second-
degree theft, Price is being held in lieu of $50,000 bail.
His wife, Cynthia Cornethan, also 49, is wanted on a warrant
for second-degree theft. She is also wanted on a bench
warrant for a 2015 felony drug case, court records show.
The couple’s female accomplice has not been identified,
charging papers say.
Price, Cornethan and the other woman walked into the Kohl’s
store on Union Hill Road, but Price left while the two women
stuffed items in the shopping bags, which were “lined with
foil to defeat the security system.”
The women ran through an emergency exit and were chased by
the loss-prevention officer. He tried to stop them in the
parking lot when Price accelerated his truck toward the
officer. The officer jumped out of the way and was struck in
the leg, but apparently was not seriously injured.
Price “very easily could have killed someone or caused more
serious injury,” Deputy Prosecutor Jessica Manca wrote in
charging documents. “His actions demonstrate he is willing
to use violence to further his criminal activities.”
Price has an “extensive” criminal history in Washington,
including felony convictions for drug possession, taking a
motor vehicle, forgery and assault, as well as seven felony
convictions in Minnesota, charging papers say. Since 1995,
warrants have been issued for his arrest 39 times in King
County, the papers say.
As of 2007, Cornethan had 91 warrants issued for her arrest
since 1984, say the charges. She has been convicted on 25
theft charges in the past 27 years, most of them gross
misdemeanors, though she also has felony convictions for
forgery, identity theft and drug possession, court records
show.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ray
RE: Shortcuts
Dear Webby
I hope you do well with your injections. Sounds painful.
I wish I had been keeping track of all the shortcuts you
have suggested over the years like the most recent one to
get to Disk cleanup.
Is there somewhere on your site where I can get these
"shortcuts"?
Always appreciate your mails.
Ray
Dear Ray
Since Windows 3.1 there have been way too many shortcuts,
and not all of them still work in newer versions of Windows.
Just write and ask about what trick to use for whatever you
want to do.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A math teacher is instructing her class in
multiplication and gives the students a
problem to solve.
"Now class," she says. "We know there are
60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an
hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a
year. So who can tell me how many
seconds there are in a year?"
All the kids look baffled by the question
except one little fellow sitting in the back
row. He raises his hand and waves it
excitedly, and the teacher points to him.
"All right, how many seconds are there in a
year?" the teacher asks.
"Twelve, ma'am," the little fellow says
brightly. "January second, February second,
March second ..."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Angel Biscuits
By Roxanne [6 Posts, 1 Comment]
These have a wonderful, fresh yeast taste; very light and
folks think you took a long time to make them
Ingredients:
1 package dry yeast or 1 1/2 Tbsp. dry yeast
3 tsp. warm water
5 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup shortening
2 cups buttermilk, make sour milk by adding 2 Tbsp. vinegar
or lemon juice to regular milk
Directions:
Dissolve yeast in warm water and set aside.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Combine all dry ingredients. Cut in shortening until
resembles coarse corn meal. Add yeast mixture and
buttermilk. Turn dough onto a well floured surface. Knead
dough 1 minute. Roll or pat dough out 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick
and cut into 3 inch sized biscuits. Bake for 15 minutes or
until golden brown.
Note: This dough can be stored in the refrigerator up to 1
week so you can have fresh biscuits when you want them.
Time: 20 Minutes Preparation Time
15 Minutes Cooking Time
Source: My mom made these when she didn't have time to make
the regular yeast rolls.
By Roxanne from Terre Haute, IN
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
There was this gracious lady mailing an old family
Bible to her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the
postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
___________________________________________________
| And some gave all. I am so thankful
|
____________________________________________________
Thanks to the folks from Erie for this one:
Well, it seems these two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter,
decided they should go to college so they could get ahead.
Bubba went in first, and the professor advises him to take
Math,
History, and Logic.
"Whass Logic?" Bubba asked.
"Well, let me give you an example," said the professor.
"Do you own a weed-eater?"
"Sure do," the redneck responded. "Okay. Then I assume,
using logic, that you have a yard," the professor went on.
"That's real good," said the redneck, in awe.
"Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you also
have a house. Is that right?"
"GAWL-LEE!" the redneck shouted.
"And since you own a house and a house is tough to take
care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife.
Right?"
"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
Bubba is catching on now.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume you
are heterosexual rather than homosexual. Is that right?"
"You are absolutely darn right! Why that's the most
fascinatin' thang I ever heerd of. I can't wait to take this
here logic class!"
Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back
into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin"? Cooter asks.
"Math, History, and Logic," replied Bubba.
"What in tarnation is logic?" asks Cooter.
"Let me give you an example," Bubba says.
"Do you own a weed- eater?"
"No," says Cooter, "but my wife has two."
"You're Queer, aintcha?"
____________________________________________________
>From Erin
On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one
of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an
educational psychologist.
The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she
was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks
visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten
great-grandchildren in Boston.
Then she inquired what I did for a living.
I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free
professional advice.
Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If
there's anything you want to know, just ask me."
____________________________________________________
|
Let's all remember our Military Veterans past, present and future, today.
|
Today on May 30
1416 Jerome of Prague was burned as a heretic by the Church.
1431 Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in Rouen, France, at the age of 19.
1527 The University of Marburg was founded in Germany.
1539 Hernando de Soto, the Spanish explorer, landed in Florida with 600 soldiers to search for gold.
1814 The First Treaty of Paris was declared, which returned
France to its 1792 borders.
1848 W.G. Young patented the ice cream freezer.
1854 The U.S. territories of Nebraska and Kansas were
established.
1868 Memorial Day was observed widely for the first time in
the U.S.
1879 William Vanderbilt renamed New York City's Gilmore’s
Garden to Madison Square Garden.
1883 Twelve people were trampled to death in New York City
in a stampede when a rumor that the Brooklyn Bridge was in
danger of collapsing occurred.
1896 The first automobile accident occurred in New York
City.
1903 In Riverdale, NY, the first American motorcycle hill climb was held.
1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the
time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes
Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour.
1912 The U.S. Marines were sent to Nicaragua to protect
American interests.
1913 The First Balkan War ended.
1921 The U.S. Navy transferred the Teapot Dome oil reserves
to the Department of the Interior.
1922 The Lincoln Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC.
1933 Sally Rand introduced her exotic and erotic fan dance
to audiences at Chicago’s Century of Progress Exposition.
1943 American forces secured the Aleutian island of Attu
from the Japanese during World War II.
1958 Unidentified soldiers killed in World War II and the
Korean conflicts were buried at Arlington National Cemetery.
1967 Daredevil Evel Knievel jumped 16 automobiles in a row
in a motorcycle stunt at Ascot Speedway in Gardena, CA.
1967 The state of Biafra seceded from Nigeria and Civil war
erupted.
1971 Mariner 9, the American deep space probe blasted off on
a journey to Mars.
1981 In Chittagong, Bangladesh, President Ziaur Rahman was
assassinated.
1982 Spain became the 16th NATO member. Spain was the first
country to enter the Western alliance since West Germany in
1955.
1983 Peru's President Fernando Belaunde Terry declared a
state of emergency and suspended civil rights after bombings
by leftist rebels.
1989 The "Goddess of Democracy" statue (33 feet height) was
erected in Tiananmen Square by student demonstrators.
1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson were granted
an uncontested decree ending their 10-year marriage.
1997 Jesse K. Timmendequas was convicted in Trenton, NJ, of
raping and strangling a 7-year-old neighbor, Megan Kanka.
The 1994 murder inspired "Megan's Law," requiring that
communities be notified when sex offenders move in.
1998 A powerful earthquake hit northern Afghanistan killing
up to 5,000.
2002 In New York, a ceremony was held to officially mark the
end of the clean up from the World Trade Center terrorist
attacks on September 11, 2001.
2012 New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced the
Portion Cap Rule. The proposed amendment to the city health
code would have required that food service establishments
limit the size of sugary beverages to 16 ounces. On June 26,
2014, the New York Court of Appeals ruled that the New York
City Board of Health had exceeded the scope of its
regulatory authority.
2016 smiled.
|
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Sunday, May 29, 2016, 11:03 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 29
June 2nd I have to go to Calgary for injections into
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
NY Woman, who crashed car, went to nearby home for help.
When police arrived, she ran off into the woods
and fell off a cliff down 60 feet.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 29, in
1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II,
ending the Byzantine (Eastern half of Roman) Empire.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Traditions are a cozy way to ensure that the
smart people don't have to learn everything the
hard way.
--- Socratex
In a new interview, Uma Thurman says that when she wants to
lose weight, she keeps her food intake down by eating in the
nude. Actually, I tried that once, but I was kicked out of
Denny's.
---Conan O'Brien
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed
ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
>From Alex
One night at about 3am my wife was getting up from the
toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It
was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be
right in the bathroom with her.
She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any
further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that
she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent
scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence.
Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat
from the bathroom.
This time the noise was accompanied by something touching
the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She
literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot
board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side.
The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of
toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bath-
room.
______________________________________________________
>From Susan
During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from
crying---until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother
had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently
touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's
tears flowing.
After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told
her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst.
"Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied,
"but I was just checking if the old fart was awake.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
NY Woman, who crashed car, went to nearby home for help.
When police arrived, she ran off into the woods
and fell off a cliff down 60 feet.
Erika A. Barkman,
38,
Voorheesville,
New York
The Albany County Sheriff’s Office coordinated a rope rescue
at a 60-foot cliff in John Boyd Thacher State Park on
Tuesday night, after a woman crashed her car against a
guardrail, sought help from a nearby residence, then ran
away and fell off a cliff.
Erika A. Barkman, 38, of Voorheesville, was rescued while
conscious and taken to Albany Medical Center. According to a
hospital representative, no information about Barkman was
available on Wednesday.
The rescue took two hours, and began after police found the
woman’s car just before 9 p.m. The bumper was missing from
the front of the vehicle.
An 8:49 p.m. report of an accident led sheriff’s deputies to
find a green 1996 Volvo crashed into a guardrail on Thacher
Park Road, its front end damaged, said a release from the
sheriff's office.
A witness at the scene said the driver had been tailgating
and driving erratically before the crash and that she had
asked the witness for help in finding her cell phone, the
release said.
“The witness stated the operator did not appear to be
injured but was stumbling around and then climbed over the
guide rail and fled into the woods,” the release said.
The sheriff’s communication center then got a call from a
Thacher Park Road resident saying a woman came to his door,
asking for help and smelling like alcohol, the release says;
she told the resident she was being “chased by cops.”
When sheriff’s deputies arrived at the home, Barkman “fled
into the woods,” the release says; a police dog began
tracking her from the home through the woods to the edge of
a cliff.
“Sheriff’s deputies began yelling Erika’s name and they
could hear her calling for help from the bottom of the
cliff, but they were unable to see her,” the release says.
The sheriff’s search and rescue unit was then called to lift
her from the bottom of the cliff, the release says; once
she
was found, she was loaded into a rescue basket and hauled
back up the cliff.
Barkman was taken to Albany Medical Center by the
Onesquethaw Ambulance Squad for non-life-threatening
injuries sustained in the fall.
“A lot of lives got put to risk tonight,” said Sheriff Craig
Apple at a press conference Tuesday. He said that the
police
will “find out if alcohol was involved — what exactly was
going on — and take it from there.”
The car crash is still being investigated and officials
believe alcohol may have been a contributing factor.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Sharon S
RE: Cleaning temporary Internet files
Dear Webby
in today's tech dept question re music that fades
in & out occasionally, you mentioned cleaning out temporary
internet file. Is that the same as deleting cookies? If so
can you please tell me again how to do it. How often should
it be done?
Is rebooting the same as restart after doing this?
Sharon S
Dear Sharon
Cookies are just some of the temporary Internet files. They
are the smallest ones. To clear all temporary Internet files
open the
File Explorer:
Windows Key E
Highlight and right-click the C: drive
Properties
TAB, ENTER (or click on Disk Cleanup)
Hit OK.
Rebooting and restarting, yes, on Windows those two mean
the same.
How often? That depends on the machine and the type of
work you do with it. Just do it whenever things slow down.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Teacher: Lucille, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a
sentence.
Lucille: De horse run across de field, and defeat went over
defence before detail.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Banana Peels and Tea Bags for Roses
By MELISSA [2 Posts, 2 Comments]
Give your rose bushes your used tea bags and banana peels.
They will love you for it. Also hydrangeas will love your
water from when you boil potatoes. You can also use the
potato peels at the bottom of your plants.
By tennis4two from Madison, IN
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
The showers in Jane's daughter's dorm turned scalding
hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others,
residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time
they flushed the toilets.
During one of her daughter's visits home, a friend stopped
by to chat for a while. Jane was explaining how her daughter
was acting more distant now that she was in college, and
that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used
to.
Suddenly they heard the daughter call out from the bathroom,
"Flushing!"
"Good grief," said Jane's friend, "How much more do you want
to know?"
___________________________________________________
| kid recites NT books with surprise
|
____________________________________________________
A young minister, in his first days at his first parish,
is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an
eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home,
he stands before the open casket and tries to think of
words to console the widow.
Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very
hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that
what we see here is only the husk, the shell.
The nut has gone to heaven."
____________________________________________________
An extremely shy fellow brought his date a bouquet of
flowers. She was so overcome she threw her arms
around him and kissed him long and hard.
After the kiss, red-faced, he turned and bolted for the
door.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to offend you."
"You didn't," he replied. "I'm just running down to the
cemetery for more flowers."
____________________________________________________
|
A different sort of sand art.
|
Today on May 29
1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II,
ending the Byzantine (Eastern half of Roman) Empire.
1660 Charles II was restored to the English throne
after the Puritan Commonwealth.
1765 Patrick Henry denounced the Stamp Act before
Virginia's House of Burgesses.
1849 A patent for lifting vessels was granted to Abe Lincoln.
1910 An airplane raced a train from Albany, NY, to New York City.
The airplane pilot Glenn Curtiss won the $10,000 prize.
1911 The first running of the Indianapolis 500 took place.
1912 Fifteen women were dismissed from their jobs at the
Curtis Publishing Company in Philadelphia, PA, for
dancing the Turkey Trot while on the job.
1916 U.S. forces invaded Dominican Republic and remained
until 1924.
1922 Ecuador became independent.
1932 World War I veterans began arriving in Washington, DC.
to demand cash bonuses they were not scheduled to receive
for another 13 years.
1951 C.F. Blair became the first man to fly over the
North Pole in single engine plane.
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became
first men to reach the top of Mount Everest and live.
1985 Thirty-nine people were killed and 400 were injured
in a riot at a European Cup soccer match in Brussels, Belgium.
1986 Colonel Oliver North told National Security Advisor
William McFarlane that profits from weapons sold to
Iran were being diverted to the Contras.
1988 U.S. President Reagan began his first visit to the
Soviet Union in Moscow.
1999 Space shuttle Discovery completed the first
docking with the International Space Station.
2000 Fiji's military took control of the nation and
declared martial law following a coup attempt by
indigenous Fijians in mid-May.
2001 In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden
were convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans.
The crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S.
embassies in Africa that killed 224 people.
2001 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer
Casey Martin could use a cart to ride in tournaments.
2016 smiled.
|
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Intermittent sound probloems Friday, May 27, 2016, 08:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, May 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh Woman, who records herself on video buying
cocaine and then shows it to the police.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 26, in
1647 Achsah Young, a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed
for being a "witch."
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for
being Baptists.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
I am not young enough to know everything.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at
science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
--- Kelvin Throop III
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Ella
On a curvy mountain highway late one night, my dad was com-
plaining about the car behind us. "That guy must be drunk!"
he said. "Every time I move over to let him pass, he slows
down. When I get back on the road, he gets closer and stays
on my tail."
A few minutes later, the car turned on a set of flashing
blue lights. Coming up to our window, the officer said,
"Sir, I'd like you to take an alcohol test. You've been
swerving on and off the road for the last fifteen minutes!"
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
> from Roland
Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church
choir.
From time to time she would practice while she was in the
kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on
a song, Joe would head outside onto the porch.
His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe?
Don't you like my singing?"
Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to
make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
______________________________________________________
How do you get 10 sweet little 80-year-old ladies
to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
"BINGO!"
______________________________________________________
Hanging Glacier Queulat National Park Chile
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Floriduh Woman records herself on video buying cocaine
and then shows it to the police.
Kathleen Laroche,
27,
Fort Pierce,
Florida,
If you just bought cocaine and recorded the drug deal on
your own dashcam video, it might not be a good idea to show
the footage to the sheriff’s deputy who pulled you over for
erratic driving without a license.
But that’s just what Kathleen Laroche, 27, did May 12 in
Fort Pierce, according to arrest affidavits.
The case began as St. Lucie County sheriff’s investigators
traveled south on South 25th Street at Edwards Road and a
Ford Focus sped past them.
They stopped the vehicle, which Laroche was driving. Laroche
apologized for weaving and speeding, and said she didn’t
have a license because it was suspended.
Laroche was arrested on a driving on a suspended license
charge.
One of the investigators noticed a dashcam type camera that
was recording, and asked about the video quality. He asked
if he could see the video, and Laroche said he could.
“(The detective) saw that the video captured Laroche
purchasing cocaine just prior to the traffic stop,” an
affidavit states.
Noting the accused drug seller, the detective went back to
the spot and spoke to the seller, identified as 43-year-old
William Hills.
The investigator told Hills he’d just seen him sell Laroche
cocaine on video. Hills fessed up to selling $30 worth of
the drug.
Laroche told investigators the cocaine was in her brassiere.
A spoon with blood and drug residue on it was in her purse.
Laroche, of Port St. Lucie, also was arrested on charges of
cocaine possession, cocaine purchasing and possession of
drug equipment.
Hills, of Fort Pierce, was arrested on a cocaine selling
charge.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Drew
RE: Intermittent sound problems
Dear Webby
On occasion, when running a program, I lose the sound for a
while and sometimes it comes back on. What can cause this
and what can I do to prevent it from happening again?
This occurs when I am playing games or running a child's
program for my Granddaughter.
Drew
Dear Drew
One possibility is a bad speaker cord or plug. That is the
most common.
Another is that you need to clean out your tmporary Internet
files and spybots and reboot.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around
a coffee shop in Miami, talking about all their ailments.
"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of
coffee," said one.
"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad, I
can't even see my coffee."
"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are
so crippled," volunteered a third.
"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,"
said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed
another.
"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an
old man as he slowly shook his head.
The others nodded in agreement.
"Well, count your blessings," said one woman cheerfully
"and thank God we can all still drive".
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Caring for Cast Iron Cookware
If the rust is a bit deep get some sandpaper and try to
remove it. After removal of the rust, clean it well with
soap and water, then dry it. Brush some vegetable oil on it
and heat in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes. Remove and let
cool. Then reapply more oil and heat for another 30 minutes.
If the rust is only topical then you can rub it out using
equal parts vegetable oil and salt. Then follow the
instructions for the seasoning and heating from above. Good
luck!
By Tahloolabelle [36 Posts, 90 Comments]
I knew an old Swiss Chef, who would have gotten VERY violent
if somebody did that to his frying pans.
He always used warm water and if necessary some salt to
scour cast iron pans. After that he always immediately dried
and heated them, and re-seasoned them with whatever was
handy, a bacon rind, butter, or oil, and heated them until
they started to smoke.
His pans were slick enough to flip pancakes, omlettes,
crepes, quiche, even fish. He came over from Switzerland
every summer to fish, and even built a cabin near my place
in the Yukon. He grew a very nice garden and fished every
day until he died, while fishing.
Sandpaper is silly. It just cleans the high spots. Rust is
usually in the pits and pores of neglected pans. Salt or
fine sand scrubs it out nicely, or even a brass suede brush.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son."
"OK: He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an
intermittent rage disorder,
punctuated by episodic radical mood swings,
but his prognosis is good for full recovery."
"How can you say all that without even meeting him?"
"I thought you said he's 13?"
___________________________________________________
| dog rats out sister
|
____________________________________________________
When Bill and Sue were getting married, they wanted to
add a touch of Sue's home state, Kansas, to the wedding.
Bill explained this to a friend and said that they were
planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the
ceremony.
His friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly,
"It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."
____________________________________________________
After shopping at a busy store, Mary and another woman
happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with
the daunting task of finding their cars in the crowded
parking lot. Just then Mary's car horn beeped, and she
was able to locate her vehicle easily.
Wow," the other woman said. "I sure could use a gadget
like that to help me find my car."
"Actually," I replied, "that was my husband who honked
the horn when he saw me walking off in the wrong direction."
____________________________________________________
|
The 20 best photos of the month that you just can't take your eyes off of.
|
Today on May 27
1647 Achsah Young, a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed
for being a "witch."
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for
being Baptists.
1896 255 people were killed in St. Louis, MO, by a tornado.
1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco.
1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first transatlantic
flight.
1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the
stratosphere, by balloon.
1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to
pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco
and Marin County.
1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an
"unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions.
1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British
naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed.
1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive
in Libya with his Afrika Korps.
1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey.
1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center
in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10.
1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96
industrial goods.
1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds
from the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century.
1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire
to the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader
of the rebels.
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment
suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President
Clinton was in office.
1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for
not warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City
federal building.
1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted
Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo.
2016 smiled.
|
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Deceptive W10 Pop-Up explained Thursday, May 26, 2016, 08:21 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 26
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Georgia mom arrested for sitting on toddler’s head
for one hour.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 26, in
1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
No matter what side of the argument you are on,
you always find people on your side
that you wish were on the other.
--- Jascha Heifetz (1901 - 1987)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.
"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was
just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What
a dream."
"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was
in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my
life."
His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had
two women, and you didn't call me?"
"Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, you'd gone
fishing."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by a rather scary
looking older woman, entered the doctor's office.
"We have come for an examination" said the young girl.
"All right," smiled the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and
take your clothes off."
"No, not me" said the girl. "It's my aunt here."
"Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue
and say AHH."
______________________________________________________
An man remarks, "You always carry my photo in your handbag
to the office. Why?"
"When there is a problem, no matter how impossible," replies
his wife, "I look at your picture and the problem becomes
relatively insignificant."
"You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" says the
man.
"Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
'Just how bad is this problem, ......
compared to him?'"
______________________________________________________
Fox pups at the end of my street
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Georgia mom arrested for sitting on toddler’s head
for one hour
Susan Elizabeth Kelley,
Kennesaw,
Georgia
A Kennesaw woman was arrested after police said she sat on
her 2-year-old son’s head for an hour.
Susan Elizabeth Kelley placed her son’s head on the seat
portion of a wooden dining room chair with a towel placed
under the child’s head, according to a warrant obtained
Monday by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
“The accused sat on the child’s head, with full body weight,
for approximately 1 hour in an attempt to gain ‘submission’
from the child,” according to the warrant.
The child, who had redness on his head, chest and back,
became unresponsive and was taken to Children’s Healthcare
of Atlanta at Egleston. He is expected to make a full
recovery, according to the warrant.
Kelley was arrested on a charge of first degree cruelty to
children. She was released from the Cobb County Adult
Detention Center on $55,220 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Michael
RE: Microsoft has admitted that they are mugging
Dear Webby
Microsoft has admitted that the W10 Pop-Ups are deceptive
and "X"ing out of them is treated as approving the
installation of W10.
Michael
Dear Michael
Yes, the Department of Sleaze has indeed been getting
scared of Archie Bunker, Jr. and very desperate. They want
everybody enslaved by W10 before the election gets serious.
Their newest sleazy trick is that infamous W10 Pop-Up.
Ever since Windows 1 the X in the right hand top corner has
meant:
"Stop! Don't do anything! Just get me outa here!"
Now, when everybody has been trained to that, and the
term "X-ing out of there" has become part of the language,
With the W10 Mugging Pop-Up it signals "Yes, Install W10"
Do NOT hit the X unless you DO want W10 !
Click on the "here", that I circled in red.
In the PopUp it is a yuppie style NOT underlined link,
unlike the underlined compatibility report link further
down. It is purposly almost hidden and hard to spot.
Hit that "here" and set the W10 installation date to
Feb 29, 2099
Please note: The "x out of here" perversion does not apply
to anything else. All software and the rest of Windows use
the "X" in the traditional way, like it has been used since
Windows 1.
Yes, I know that is extremely sleazy, but the Department of
Sleaze is in a panic and freaking out about the thought,
that you might escape.
What is funny is that, as Cindy has found out, their legal
department overrules the Department Of Sleaze. If you let it
install W10, but at the end refuse to accept their terms
and refuse to give all rights on everything including to not
yet ordered pizza to Microsoft, then they un-install, take
their marbles and waddle away in a pout.
They may or may not try again, but setting the installation
date to 2099 seems to work well. I did that years ago, and
they have not bothered me since.
Even funnier is that W10 is not really that bad. It is about
as good as XP was before the Service Packs and works well
enough. W10 is just klutzy and awkward because they use an
awkward user interface designed by somebody's dopey niece.
If you get the very popular third party Classic Shell, it is
just as good as W7.
So far over 15 Million people use Classic Shell.
You can get it free at
http://filehippo.com/download_classic_shell/
There are other shells available too, but Classic Shell is
the best known and has a good forum.
Hopefully Microsoft will use it in W11 or W12.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide,
"Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?"
"The glaciers brought them down," said the guide.
"But where are the glaciers?"
"The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice,
"have gone back for more rocks."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Ham With Pineapple
By Vi Johnson [287 Posts, 800 Comments]
Ingredients:
1 lb. sliced ham
1/2 cup pineapple juice
4 slices pineapple
12 marshmallows
Directions:
Bake ham for 30 minutes. Drain off fat. Cover ham with
pineapple and juice. Bake in slow oven (325 degrees F) until
ham is tender.
Baste frequently. Turn pineapple and allow both sides to
brown. Cover with marshmallows. Place in slow oven until
marshmallows are puffed and slightly brown. Serve at once.
Source: 1935 Household Searchlight Cook Book This recipe by
Mrs. B.W. Alward, Erie, PA.
By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Jason was having a tough day and had stretched himself out
on the couch to do a bit of what he thought to be well-
deserved complaining and self-pitying.
He moaned to his wife, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world
hates me!"
His wife, busily occupied with other things, hardly looked
up at and passed on this encouraging word:
"That's not true, Jason. Can't be everybody. Some people
don't know you."
___________________________________________________
| English Country Garden
|
____________________________________________________
Daughter: Mom, Can I have some money for a new dress?
Mother: Go ask your father, dear. You are getting
married in a month and you need the practise.
____________________________________________________
The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the
outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the
story of George Washington chopping down his father's
cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the
truth.
The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed
the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and
the shocked child protested that George Washington had not
been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father
wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!"
---------------
That story inspired the Outhouse Races on Lakeelse Lake
in northern BC in the 60's and early 70s. It seems the
people living there now are not as adventurous as we used
to be.
Instead of paddling a 4 foot x 4 foot ( 1.2 m x 1.2 m )
raft with a 6 foot high outhouse on it across the lake,
they now have a wine tasting party and raffle off a boat.
____________________________________________________
|
Eight beautiful cities that are starting to go car-free.
|
Today on May 26
0017 Germanicus of Rome celebrated his victory over the Germans.
1328 William of Ockham was forced to flee from Avignon
1521 Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms because
of his religious beliefs and writings.
1647 A new law banned Catholic priests from the colony of
Massachusetts. The penalty was banishment or death for
a second offense.
1660 King Charles II of England landed at Dover after being
exiled for nine years.
1670 A treaty was signed in secret in Dover, England, between
Charles II and Louis XIV ending the hostilities between them.
1736 The British and Chickasaw Indians defeated the French
at the Battle of Ackia.
1791 The French Assembly forced King Louis XVI to hand over
the crown and state assets.
1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan
1831 Russians defeated the Poles at battle of Ostrolenska.
1896 The last czar of Russia, Nicholas II, was crowned.
1908 In Persia, the first oil strike was made in the Middle East.
1913 Actors’ Equity Association was organized in New York City.
1940 The evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, began
1946 A patent was filed in the United States for an H-bomb.
1946 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill signed a military
pact with Russian leader Joseph Stalin.
1956 The first trailer bank opened for business in Locust Grove,
Long Island, NY. The 46-foot-long trailer took in $100,000
in deposits its first day.
1959 The word "Frisbee" became a registered trademark of Wham-O.
1961 A U.S. Air Force bomber flew across the Atlantic in a
record time of just over three hours.
1969 The Apollo 10 astronauts returned to Earth after a successful
eight-day dress rehearsal for the first manned moon landing.
1975 American stuntman Evel Knievel suffered severe spinal
injuries in Britain when he crashed while attempting to jump
13 buses in his car.
1977 George H. Willig was arrested after he scaled the
South Tower of New York's World Trade Center. It took him
3 1/2 hours.
1991 A Lauda Air Boeing 767 crashed in Thailand, killing all
223 people aboard.
1994 U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China,
and announced that his administration would no longer link
China's trade status with its human rights record. Since then our computers and components have been built in China.
2016 smiled.
|
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Best trick to revert after getting mugged by W10 Wednesday, May 25, 2016, 10:09 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, May 25
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Mugger who got caught after his car did not start at the
Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, Florida
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 25, in
585 BC The first known prediction of a solar eclipse was
made in Greece.
1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him.
--- Paul Eldridge
I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune'
and the other one isn't.
--- Victor Borge
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A college professor asked his class a question.
"If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is
1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles
from Chicago, how old am I?"
One student in the back of the class raised his hand and
when Called upon said, "Professor you're 44.."
The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me,
how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"
The student said, "You see professor, I have a brother; he's
22, and he is half crazy."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from
each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he
told
me that he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my
grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never
lend
anything to your kids, because you will never get it back."
And my neighbor said, "Well, it's not really my ladder.
It's actually my dad's."
______________________________________________________
SUE: "Karen, do you carry a momento of some sort
in that locket of yours?"
KAREN: Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair.
SUE: But your husband is still alive.
KAREN: I know, but his hair is gone.
______________________________________________________
Pekin Robin
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
0
Mugger gets caught after his car won't start at the
Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, Florida
Edenson Major,
26,
Belle Glade,
Floriduh
A Belle Glade man accused of a mugging at the Seminole Hard
Rock Hotel and Casino was arrested after his getaway car
failed to start and he had to catch a ride from a passer-by,
Seminole authorities said.
Edenson Major, 26, was arrested in connection with a robbery
that took place about noon Monday on the third floor of the
Winner's Way parking garage at the casino near Hollywood,
said spokesman Gary Bitner.
Major allegedly walked up behind the 73-year-old, reached
into the man's pocket and stole $1,895 in cash. The man fell
and Major walked away, Bitner said.
Surveillance video showed Major leaving the garage and
walking toward a vehicle, which would not start.
A passer-by offered to jump-start the vehicle, but then gave
Major a ride to the intersection of Stirling Road and U.S.
441, leaving the disabled car behind, investigators said.
Seminole police found the car in the parking lot and called
its owner, who said he had loaned the car to Major, his
cousin.
Police arrested Major just before 3 p.m. Wednesday and
charged him with robbery by sudden snatching, theft from a
person 65 or older, and battery on a person 65 or older,
records show.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Cindy
RE: Easiest way to deal with W10 mugging
Dear Webby
Hi, read your tip today about Windows 10 being installed
without requesting it. Same happened to me today. I woke
up to a screen telling me Windows 10 was now installed!
After attempting to make it go away, including turning off
my computer and restarting it, I finally clicked B>next
which led to the legal talk wanting me to agree to their
terms. I said “no†and it then re-installed my previous
version automatically.
Might help some others when it happens to them! As always,
thanks for the fabulous computer wisdom you share with us.
Cindy
Dear Cindy
Thank you very much for that tip!
It is certainly the easiest method to get out from under
the mugging.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it.
Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand
your paintings."
I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist.
Liz replied: "Yeah, I can understand that. I feel that way
too when I eat my hubby's cooking!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Tip: Opening Jars with Arthritic Hands
I have arthritis in my hands and it is hard to open some jar
lids. So I cut a square of rubber shelf lining to use on the
lid . If it is stubborn, I put the jar under hot running
water for just a few seconds, dry the lid and it works for
me.
By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Three guys were standing around talking about dying when
one asked, "What would you like people to say about you
as they come to pay their last respects?"
The second man said, "I hope they say I was a respected
doctor in my field, a good family man, and had lots of
friends."
The third man said, "I hope they say I was a well spoken
attorney, helped my fellow man, good citizen, and played
a mean round of golf."
The first man said, "That's probably what will be said of
the two of you.
My hope is that when they look down in my coffin they say,
"Look...he's moving"!
___________________________________________________
| Wall Street explained in 3 minutes
|
____________________________________________________
The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding
doctor:
"After the first, I'm tired, Doc. After the second, my
chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After
the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-hour
for my heart and respiration to return to normal."
"Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor.
"How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient.
"I live on the third floor!"
____________________________________________________
Robert, age eight, was the son of strict Presbyterian
parents. He was very, very good, worked hard at school, did
his chores, and was generally helpful and obedient. But one
morning, for some reason, he came down to breakfast in a
very nasty mood. When his mother served him prunes, he
snarled, "I don't want prunes," and he refused to eat them.
His parents were aghast, and his father said, "Robert, you
know that Lord commanded children to honor and obey their
parents, and He will punish those who do not."
But Robert still refused and was angrily sent back to bed,
and the prunes were put in the refrigerator.
A few minutes later, a terrible thunderstorm came up with
great roars of thunder and flashes of lightning. "Ah,
wonderful," said Robert's mother, "this will teach him a
lesson."
To their great surprise though, Robert came to the top of
the stairs and called down: "Sounds like God doesn't want
you to make such a fuss about some silly prunes!"
____________________________________________________
|
Take me to Australia! From some of the comments there is some misinformation in the picture identities, but the photos are gorgeous.
|
Today on May 25
585 BC The first known prediction of a solar eclipse was
made in Greece.
1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems.
1810 Argentina declared independence from Napoleonic Spain.
1844 The gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry.
1895 Oscar Wilde, a playwright, poet and novelist, was
convicted of a morals charge and sentenced to prison in London.
1927 Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would
replace the Model T.
1953 In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired.
1961 America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work
toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade.
1970 Boeing Computer Services was founded.
1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs appeared
in "The Washington Post." The article called for a national
memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation of what it has done
to its sons" that had served in the Vietnam War.
1979 An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at
Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people were killed.
1981 Daredevil Daniel Goodwin scaled Chicago's Sears Tower,
while wearing a "Spiderman" costume, in 7 1/2 hours.
1985 Bangladesh was hit with a hurricane and tidal wave that
killed more than 11,000 people.
1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces
of communism.
2001 Erik Weihenmeyer, 32, of Golder, CO, became the first blind
climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
2008 NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic plains
of Mars.
2009 North Korea announced that it had conducted a second
successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong.
2016 smiled.
|
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What to do after you got mugged by W10 Tuesday, May 24, 2016, 08:59 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 24
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Two Tennessee ministers nabbed in child-prostitution sting
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 24, in
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered
solar system. That did not go over well.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed
in overalls and looks like work.
--- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)
Millions long for immortality who do not know
what to do with themselves on a rainy
Sunday afternoon.
--- Susan Ertz
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy
is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the
greatest threat to liberty.
--- Eugene McCarthy
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of
Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and
stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly,
he noticed a huge animal walk by.
"Och, whut's thaaat?" he said.
His Canadian friend looked out and said,
"Oh, that's a moose."
"Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats aroond
here?"
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are
always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad
engineer.
"How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a
schedule?" replied the engineer.
______________________________________________________
From the Olden Days when we had floppy drives:
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need
to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly,
and the secretary has gone home already."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an
Intel inside."
Tech Support: "hmmmm, Have a look at the front of the
computer. Does it have an ATM slot like at a bank machine?
If there is a button sticking out there, then you are behind
in your ID ten T tax. Are you familiar with that?"
Customer: "Yes, of course. I know all about that. We have
a 10 T network here."
Tech Support: "Excellent. Normally you would pay the ID-10-T
tax on-line, but since you can't get on-line, I'll have to
take
your VISA over the phone. We'll just charge it $10 for now,
and tomorrow your secretary can bring it up to date.
What is your VISA number?"
.....VISA info...
OK, Sir, now look for that ATM button again, and push it in
really hard."
Customer: "Something black popped out!"
Tech Support: "Excellent ! You are doing great, Sir!
Now go back to the keyboard and hold down these 3 keys
together: CTRL ALT DEL, just for a second or so."
Customer: "Its's starting properly now! "
Tech Support: "Excellent! Leave a note for the secretary
to re-imburse you for the ID-10-T tax payment you made."
Customer: "Thanks, I'll do that."
-----------
If somebody leaves you a note to reimburse him or her for
the IDIOT TAX that they paid, now you know what that is
all about.
______________________________________________________
Johnston Canyon, Banff
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Two Tennessee ministers nabbed in child-prostitution sting
Jason Kennedy, 46,
Knoxville
Tennessee
Zubin Parakh, 32
Clinton,
Tennessee
Two Knoxville-area ministers face felony charges for seeking
sex with underage girls as part of an undercover sting
operation targeting human trafficking and prostitution this
week.
Jason Kennedy, 46, of Knoxville was charged Thursday with
felony human trafficking and patronizing prostitution and
trafficking after he and Zubin Parakh answered online
advertisements specifically offering sex with an underage
girl, said Mark Gwyn, director of the Tennessee Bureau of
Investigation. Kennedy was a children's minister at Grace
Baptist Church in the Knoxville suburb of Karns, Tenn.,
until his arrest; his name had been scrubbed as of Friday
from the church's website, Twitter and Facebook feeds.
Also charged with felony trafficking is Parakh, 32, of
Clinton, who served as creative pastor with LifeHouse Church
in Oak Ridge, according to a cached version of the church's
website. By Friday afternoon, references to Parakh also had
been taken off his church's site.
Kennedy has been fired from his job at Grace Baptist,
according to a statement the church released Friday
afternoon.
"The actions of the children's pastor for which he has been
arrested were part of his life outside the church, and we
have received no questions or concerns related to his
conduct within the church or its ministries," church
officials said. A background check, done before Kennedy was
hired 2½ years ago, and the minister himself indicated no
problems.
Kennedy was one of two charged with felony trafficking
because he specifically sought out an underage girl,
authorities said. The trafficking charge is normally a Class
B felony, which could mean eight to 30 years in prison and
a
fine of up to $25,000; however, authorities said they will
enhance it to a Class A felony, which could mean 15 to 60
years in prison and a fine of up to $50,000, because their
sting operation took place within 1,000 feet of a church.
Another church is next door to the Best Western motel where
Knoxville police officers conducted the three-day sting, the
fifth operation of its kind in Tennessee to serve as a
crackdown on human trafficking.
Kennedy remained in Knox County jail Friday in lieu of
$50,500 bond.
He is accused of responding via text message to an online ad
posted on backpage.com offering sex with two females
including one that undercover agents said was "15, going on
16," according to arrest warrants. After arriving at the
motel, Kennedy stated that "he wanted to have sex with both
the underage juvenile and the other female in the room,"
placed $100 on the counter, removed his pants and was taken
into custody.
Kennedy, a married father of three, was responsible for
ministry for the church's children from birth through fifth
grade, according to a cached page of the church's website
from Feb. 13, 2015.
Parakh initially was one of 26 men cited for patronizing
prostitutes and released, according to spokeswoman Susan
Niland of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. But
authorities since secured a warrant for his arrest on a
felony trafficking charge although he had not yet been re-
arrested Friday afternoon.
“We wanted to make sure there is no safe place to hide for
criminals who would victimize the most vulnerable among us,”
Gwyn said.
The Southern Baptist Convention lists Grace Baptist Church,
celebrating its 100th year this year, as having more than
4,000 members with an average attendance of almost 2,500
people. The affiliation of Baptist churches has resources
online to help a church's staff check the backgrounds of
potential hires, but any background check will fall short if
a person has no previous arrests.
Parakh, a Chattanooga native, is a longtime friend of
LifeHouse Church's lead pastor, who arrived at the Oak Ridge
church in 2010, according to a cache of that church's
website.
The agents who posted advertisements on backpage.com
received more than 300 inquiries, including more than two
dozen contacts for the ad involving an underage girl,
officials said.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Franklin
RE: Got mugged by W10
Dear Webby
Last Saturday, after many months of no problems, Microsoft
decided to take over her laptop and install win 10. I
stopped the install, but now she gets a "warning" her win 7
is bogus and we cannot get a desktop background to stay.
when she leaves the desktop to do something she comes back
to a blank background and insinuations her copy was not
purchased from Microsoft. What can be done as I cannot find
our install disk?
Thanks for your humor.
Dear Franklin
It is better to let it finish the mugging and then do an
UNinstall.
Just make sure you don't do the "Cleanup to save disk
space", that it recommends. That dumps the W7 files.
I wrote about it on May 19. A date easy to remember, the day
before my birthday.
I wrote:
==================
Dear Esme
DON'T clean up to free space after they sleaze in W10!
Just do these steps.
Open up Settings via the Start menu or the taskbar icon.
Click Update & Security and
then move to the Recovery section.
Under the Go back to Windows 7 or Go back to Windows 8.1
heading, click Get started and
you'll be guided through the rest of the process.
That's pretty well all you have to do.
If you want to read more about it, go to
Details are at
http://betanews.com/2015/08/17/how-to-u ... indows-10-
and-go-back-to-windows-7-or-8-1/
============
If she did the "Cleanup" and cremated Lazarus, then you can
save all important files onto a removable drive or camera
chips, and restore to factory default. You may have to call
the computer maker's tech support and let them step you
through restoring the factory default.
That totally formats the machine, including the BIOS, and
will make it like the day it was sold to you. That is why
you have to copy any and all importart files onto other
media.
For programs, back up the downloaded setup files. You will
have to re-install them after the format.
Calling the Taliban at Microsoft is usually a total waste of
time.
Just follow the instructions above, and if that does not
help, restore to factory default.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A small boy was standing near an escalator in a department
store watching the moving handrail.
"Is there anything wrong?" asked a saleslady.
"Nope," he said,
I'm just waiting for my gum to come around again.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Spiked Persimmon Cake
By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments]
This is one of my favourite cakes to make around the
holidays, or any time it's cold. The flavours are so
comforting and the added alcohol gives a kick of warmth.
Approximate Time: 1 hour
Yield: 10 servings
Ingredients:
5 super ripe persimmons
1 1/2 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp orange zest
1 cup milk
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 Tbsp melted butter
1/4 cup rum or brandy
whipped cream, ice cream, nuts for topping (optional)
Steps:
Preheat oven to 350°F.
Pull out the stems of the persimmons. Using a spoon, scoop
out the persimmon pulp and add to a bowl (throw out the
skins). Mash the pulp with a fork
Mix the flour, baking powder, salt, baking soda, nutmeg,
cinnamon, and orange zest in a large bowl.
Add the persimmon, milk, sugar, and eggs in another bowl and
mix until blended. Add the melted butter and alcohol.
Stir the flour mixture into the wet mixture little by
little, making sure it's very well combined. Pour this
mixture into a greased baking dish.
Bake for 40-45 minutes. Use a toothpick to poke it, it's
ready when it comes out clean. You'll also know its ready
when the edges of the cake pull away from the baking dish
and your home smells amazing! Expect it to be crispy at the
edges, and extremely moist in the middle. Serve with whipped
cream or ice cream and sprinkle of nuts.
Source: A spin off a cross between my mother's persimmon
bread and a recipe for brandy banana bread.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena
in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told
us about a woman who contacted police working on a
missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed
instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said.
"In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had
described. Now what would you call that kind of person?"
While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's
officer taking the course raised his hand and replied,
"A suspect."
___________________________________________________
| frog tries to catch fly on smart phone
|
____________________________________________________
There were these two guys out hiking when they came
upon an old, abandoned mineshaft. Curious about its
depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of
it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went
and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited.
Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger
and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the
two men carried it to the opening and threw it in.
While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted
between them and leapt into the hole!
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks
upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man
walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat
anywhere in the area and they said that one had just
jumped into the mineshaft in front of them!
The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be MY goat,
mine was tied to a railroad tie."
____________________________________________________
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized
as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board
a train, he was unable to find his ticket.
The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."
When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't
find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous
scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget
about it."
"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it,
otherwise I won't know where to get off. I forgot where
I am supposed to be going today!"
____________________________________________________
|
How in the world does he mold stone like this?
|
Today on May 24
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered
solar system.
1607 Captain Christopher Newport and 105 followers found
the colony of Jamestown at the mouth of the James River
on the coast of Virginia.
1624 After years of unprofitable operation Virginia’s
charter was revoked and it became a royal colony.
1689 The English Parliament passed Act of Toleration,
protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics were specifically
excluded from exemption.
1764 Bostonian lawyer James Otis denounced "taxation without
representation" and called for the colonies to unite in
demonstrating their opposition to Britain’s new tax measures.
1798 Believing that a French invasion of Ireland was
imminent, Irish nationalists rose up against the British
occupation.
1830 The first passenger railroad service in the U.S.
began service.
1844 Samuel F.B. Morse formally opened America's first
telegraph line. The first message was sent from
Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD. The message was
"What hath God wrought?"
1878 The first American bicycle race was held in Boston.
1883 After 14 years of construction the Brooklyn Bridge
was opened to traffic.
1930 Amy Johnson became the first woman to fly from
England to Australia.
1941 The HMS Hood was sunk by the German battleship Bismarck
in the North Atlantic. Only three people survived.
1954 The first moving sidewalk in a railroad station was
opened in Jersey City, NJ.
1976 Britain and France opened trans-Atlantic Concorde
service to Washington.
1994 The four men convicted of bombing the New York's
World Trade Center were each sentenced to 240 years
in prison.
1999 39 miners were killed in an underground gas
explosion in the Ukraine.
2000 Five people were killed and two others wounded
when two gunmen entered a Wendy's restaurant in Flushing,
Queens, New York. The gunmen tied up the victims in the
basement and then shot them.
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives approved permanent
normal trade relations with China.
2000 A Democratic Party event for Al Gore in Washington
brought in $26.5 million. The amount set a new record.
2001 Temba Tsheri, 15, became the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
2016 smiled.
|
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Monday, May 23, 2016, 09:15 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 23
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
WV man in Florida arrested after he shot the door of his
hotel room, after he locked himself out.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 23, in
1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians.
She was then sold to the English.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
No matter how rich you become, how famous or
powerful, when you die,
the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend
on the weather.
-- Michael Pritchard
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has
been operating in Detroit, Michigan. Police advised earlier
today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Detroit Metro
Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin,
Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on
immigration issues.
The Detroit public is advised to stay calm as absolutely
NO ONE fitting the description of the fourth cell member,
Bin Workin, is anywhere near the area. Police are confident
that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very
easy to spot in the community.
The police have just surrounded a department store in the
center of Detroit. They've heard Bed Linen is on the
second floor!
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their
diploma but Jon.
At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and
shouts, "Let Jon graduate, let Jon graduate!"
The principal agrees to give Jon one last chance.
"If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left
hand, Jon, how many apples do I have?" he asked.
Jon thought long and hard and then said, "Ten."
At that the entire senior class and their teachers
stood up and shouted,
"Give Jon another chance. Give Jon another chance!"
______________________________________________________
Marge was royally peeved! She was arguing with the
druggist because her favourite cure-all could no longer
be bought without a prescription.
"Look, lady. You can't have this without a prescription
because it's been declared a habit-forming drug."
"IT IS NOT!!!!" Screamed Margaret! "I ought to know:
I've been taking it regularly for thirtyseven years!"
______________________________________________________
Fitz Roy, Patagonia
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
WV man in Florida arrested for shooting the door of his
hotel room, after he locked himself out.
Charles Richardson,
35,
St. Pete Beach,
Florida.
Deputies say a St. Pete Beach hotel guest used a handgun to
shoot the lock on his room door because he had locked
himself out.
Deputies: Man shoots hotel door because he got locked out
Incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel on St. Pete Beach
The incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel, located at
6200 Gulf Boulevard in St. Pete Beach, at approximately 7:58
a.m. on Thursday.
According to deputies, when they arrived at the hotel they
located the suspect, 35-year-old Charles Richardson, of
Dunbar, West Virginia, sitting in the lobby unarmed.
Deputies determined that Richardson, who was a guest at the
hotel, used a handgun to shoot the lock on his hotel room
door because he had locked himself out of his room.
Deputies said Richardson then proceeded to shoot a glass
window at the hotel for no apparent reason.
No one was injured at the hotel as a result of the shooting.
Deputies recovered the handgun near Richardson's hotel room.
Richardson was arrested and transported to the Pinellas
County Jail without incident. He was charged with two felony
counts of shooting a deadly missile into/at/within an
occupied building.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: William
RE: Does OCR really work?
Dear Webby
I have about 150 pages of typewritten material I would like
to put in a word processor and on a disk. Does this OCR
software I see advertised really work?
Thanks for the great jokes, and all of your tech pit help.
William
Dear William
OCR programs have probably improved more than any other
programs. Try a few of the free ones and see if they work
well with the fonts used on that project.
Some OCR programs take typewritten fonts quite nicely,
others only work well with modern computer generated fonts.
There are also a bunch of professional OCR programs that do
cost some money, but are of higher quality and usually have
spell checks built in. With the spell-checks you have to be
careful and not let them automatically correct. They tend to
work like the auto-correct on many programs, that substitute
similar sounding but totally wrong words.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Jill's economic philosophy is middle of the road.
She spends money left and right and center.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments]
Approximate Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 4 sides
Ingredients:
6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums)
2 strips of bacon
5 walnuts
salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste
Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
Steps:
Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the
sprouts.
Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in
bowl/plate.
Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium
heat until crispy.
Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave
bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook
for about 5 minutes.
If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted
side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid,
cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't
really do this ;)
Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in.
Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much
because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to
pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up
and enjoy!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became
increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted
to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde
suddenly whirled around, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That
will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with
his wife when he choked, "I . . . I . . . didn't pinch that
girl."
"Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly.
"I did."
___________________________________________________
| Bird of paradise
|
____________________________________________________
Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college
in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and
didn't return home again until the Spring break.
When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller
he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now
stood at 5 feet, 11 inches.
Mark was as surprised as I.
"Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked.
"Well, since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied,
"I just figured everything had shrunk."
____________________________________________________
Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic
letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom"
have been proudly displayed for all to see.
One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell
bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his
hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I
spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face.
"That's wonderful!" she said. "Now go put them on the
fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight."
That Christian education is certainly having an impact,
she thought, happily.
Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen.
"Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"
____________________________________________________
|
Stormtrooper Boogie
.
|
Today on May 23
1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians.
She was then sold to the English.
1533 Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon was
declared null and void.
1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of
the Reformation were thrown through a window.
1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after
being convicted of murder and piracy.
1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had
invented bifocals.
1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was
established. The organization's name was changed to
Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920.
1915 During World War I, Italy changed sides to join
the Allies as they declared war on Austria-Hungary.
1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde
Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers.
The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe.
1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head
of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while
imprisoned by the Allied forces.
1949 The Republic of West Germany was established.
1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann
in Argentina.
1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the
Central Bank and took 200 hostages.
1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison
for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union.
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City
was demolished.
1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern
Ireland approved a peace accord.
1999 In Kansas City, MO, Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) died when
he fell 90 feet while being lowered into a WWF wrestling ring.
1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale
El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record
that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old.
2016 smiled.
|
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( 2 views )
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How to make file name extensions visible Sunday, May 22, 2016, 07:19 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 22
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh woman caught being too lazy to pay for
shoplifted items
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 22, in
1570 Abraham Ortelius in Belgium published the first modern
atlas.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
The problems we face today exist because the people
who work for a living are outnumbered by those who
vote for a living.
--- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Ida
For years my husband denied he was an aggressive driver.
That changed one day when we were out for a ride with our
three-year-old, Matthew. Seeing a teaching opportunity, I
began quizzing Matthew about traffic lights.
"What does a red light mean?" I asked.
"Stop."
"How about green?"
"Go."
"And yellow?"
In his best impression of Daddy, Matthew bellowed,
"Haaaanng on!"
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns,
drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit
when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of
his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by
again, even more slowly. Another flash.
He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed.
Same result.
"This guy must have messed up the settings," the off-duty
officer thought.
A few weeks later, when he received the violations in
the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for
not wearing a seat belt!
______________________________________________________
Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her
the secret I told you not to tell her."
"Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell
you I told her."
"Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you
that she told me."
-------------
That reminds me:
A womans definition of a secret:
Gossip which is spread only one person at a time.
______________________________________________________
Cool Duck!
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Woman stole sex toys from Wal-Mart, said she was too
lazy to pay.
Therasa Prine,
25,
St. Petersburg,
Florida.
A 25-year-old woman identified as Therasa Prine was arrested
in St. Petersburg, Florida after police caught her stealing
items from a local Walmart. Those items included a
vibrating penis ring, arousal gel and other sex toys.
When asked by the officer about why she didn't pay,
Therasa's response was both funny and pathetic: She said she
was "too lazy" to pay. We've heard a lot of shoplifting
excuses but admitting to being lazy usually isn't part of a
criminal's defense.
Things quickly got less amusing for Ms. Prine when cops
searched her purse and found pills and weed. Now she faces
drug charges on top of the shoplifting charge.
Therasa Prine has been arrested multiple times for
everything from domestic violence to grand theft to
resisting arrest.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Leon
RE: How do I make file name extensions visible?
Dear Webby
My computer doesn't show any "Extensions" behind the file
name. Is that a hardware problem or something that can
be fixed b upgrading Windows?
Leon
Dear Leon
Just open the File Explorer
click on TOOLS
click on FOLDER OPTIONS
click on VIEW
move the radio button to "SHOW hidden files and folders"
take the checkmark off "Hide extensions"
click APPLY
click OK
Now your Windows will show file extensions all of the time.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A lady had just finished taking a CPR course, and was on
the lookout for a chance to try it out. As she left the
shopping center, she saw a man lying on the road with a
lot of people around him.
Screaming, "I know CPR!", she ran to the person, threw
her bag down, loosened all tight clothing and got ready to
turn him around and start mouth-to-mouth.
At this stage, a huge policeman tapped her on the shoulder
and said: "Ma'am, I'm sure Ole appreciates your attention,
but I am paying him by the quarter hour to try and fish my
keys out of the storm sewer."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments]
Approximate Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 4 sides
Ingredients:
6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums)
2 strips of bacon
5 walnuts
salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste
Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
Steps:
Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the
sprouts.
Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in
bowl/plate.
Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts
Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium
heat until crispy.
Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave
bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook
for about 5 minutes.
If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted
side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid,
cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't
really do this ;)
Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in.
Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much
because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to
pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up
and enjoy!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a
private waved to someone in the audience. "Jones, never
do that again!" the drill instructor whispered.
But a few minutes later, the soldier waved a second time.
Back in the barracks after the parade, the DI stormed in
and barked for Jones to come front and center.
"Son, you knew I was going to see you," he screamed.
"You knew it was wrong. Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Yes, SIR!" replied Jones. "But you don't know my mother!
You better hide quickly. I can hear her truck approaching,
SIR!"
___________________________________________________
| Historical everyday pictures
|
____________________________________________________
During a lull between the speeches at the recent White House
Correspondent's dinner, Michelle Obama leans over to chat
with Joe Biden.
"Ya know, I bought Barack a parrot for his birthday. The
bird is so smart, Barack has already taught him to pronounce
over two hundred words!"
"Wow, that's pretty impressive," says Joe, "but, you do
realize that he just speaks the words -- he doesn't really
understand what they mean."
"Oh, I know," Michelle replies, "Neither does the parrot."
____________________________________________________
A man and his wife hadn't been out to dinner in a long time
and they decided to try a restaurant they had never been to
before. They were seated and, as they looked over the menu,
they noticed some movement at a nearby table, but there were
no people there. As they took a closer look, they saw that
there were mice on the table, eating the un-cleared
leftovers from the group that had been sitting there.
The man was shocked and called the manager over. He pointed
at the table and said, "Look! There are mice on that
table!"
The manager scratched his head and calmly said,
"Now, that's odd. They usually stay in the kitchen."
____________________________________________________
|
Beautiful Spring in different parts of the world.
|
Today on May 22
1246 Henry Raspe was elected anti-king by the Rhenish
prelates in France.
1455 King Henry VI was taken prisoner by the Yorkists at the
Battle of St. Albans, during the War of the Roses.
1570 Abraham Ortelius in Belgium published the first modern
atlas.
1819 The steamship Savannah became the first to cross the
Atlantic Ocean.
1841 Henry Kennedy received a patent for the first reclining chair.
1849 Abraham Lincoln received a patent for the floating dry dock.
1868 Near Marshfield, IN, The "Great Train Robbery" took place.
The robbery was worth $96,000 in cash, gold and bonds to the
seven members of the Reno gang.
1872 The Amnesty Act restored civil rights to Southerners.
1882 The U.S. formally recognized Korea.
1891 The first public motion picture was given in Thomas Edison's lab.
1892 Dr. Sheffield, a British dentist, invented the toothpaste tube.
1908 The Wright brothers registered their flying machine for a U.S. patent.
1939 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini signed a military alliance
between Germany and Italy known as the "Pact of Steel."
1955 A scheduled dance to be headlined by Fats Domino was canceled by
police in Bridgeport, Connecticut because "rock and roll dances might be featured."
1969 A lunar module of Apollo 10 flew within nine miles of the moon's surface.
The event was a rehearsal for the first lunar landing.
1972 The island Ceylon adopted a new constitution and became the
republic of Sri Lanka.
1990 Microsoft released Windows 3.0.
2002 Chandra Levy's remains were found in Washington, DC's Rock Creek Park.
She was last seen on April 30, 2001.
2016 smiled.
|
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What are double extensions on file names? Saturday, May 21, 2016, 11:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, May 21
Thanks to all who sent Birthday wishes! There was no way
I could reply to each, ho here is a Thank You to all of you!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Colorado woman, who robbed a bank while babysitting kids
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 21, in
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
You can't wait for inspiration.
You have to go after it with a club.
--- Jack London (1876 - 1916)
"The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work."
--- Harry Golden
Promise?
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery
center often chatted with patients before their
operations to help them relax.
One day he thought he recognized a woman as a
co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was
correct, he said,
"So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to
be?"
"Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
My doctor's receptionist called me to the desk to update my
personal file. Before I could tell her that all the infor-
mation she had was still correct, she asked, "Has your birth
date changed?"
Here they ask you for the date of birth as a kind of
password. If you don't know it, they tell you to get lost.
______________________________________________________
>From Dennis
There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big
to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with.
The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if
left alone long enough, will develop into something you
can't afford either.
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Colorado woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids
Rachel Einspahr,
28,
Weld County,
Colorado
A Colorado woman is facing charges of robbery and child
abuse after allegedly attempting to rob a bank while
babysitting two kids.
Rachel Einspahr, 28, was arrested Friday afternoon after
police said she robbed the drive-through window of the
Colorado East Bank & Trust in Severance.
According to the release from the Weld County Sheriff’s
Office, Einspahr passed a note to the teller through a
vacuum tube stating that there was a man in her car who was
threatening to harm her children if he didn’t get money.
The note read, “Do not sound alarm, the man in the very back
wants $100s and $50s … no dye packs or trackers … he has gun
on my kids,” according to CBS Denver.
Fearing lives were in danger, the teller gave the suspect
$500, who drove off in a white Nissan SUV.
After the robbery was reported, deputies secured the bank
and canvased the area.
A vehicle matching the teller’s description was discovered a
short distance from the bank, according to the Coloradoan.
Investigators interviewed Einspahr and her employer, and
discovered she had been hired to babysit the two kids who
had been in the back of the SUV used in the robbery,
according to Coloradoan.com.
The kids were unharmed during the robbery.
Einspahr told police, “I can’t go back to jail,” according
to the Denver Channel.
At first, Einspahr maintained that an unknown man forced her
to go to the bank and get money, but police said she
eventually admitting planning the robbery.
Her motive, according to police, was to use the money to pay
$15,000 as part of a restitution/plea deal for previous
offenses, according to the arrest affidavit.
Einspahr has an open case in Evans for over 30 counts of
forgery, ID theft and felony theft and a second open case in
Larimer County on two counts of ID theft, according to the
paperwork.
Einspahr was charged with one count of robbery and two
counts of child abuse. She remains behind bars at the Weld
County Jail.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Marge
RE: What are Double Extensions
Dear Webby
I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you
mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain.
Thank you.
Marge
Dear Marge
Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached.
It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, ot
it could be some malware like a virus or a worm.
Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that
tells the computer what to do with it.
If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the
extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif"
When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a
file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file
with a picture viewer or picture editor.
If the extension is ".xls" or ".wb4" then Windows knows it
is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program.
Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe
looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it.
If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then
that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs
a
backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably
also sends itself to everybody in your Outlook or Outlook
Express address book.
Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension
on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and
swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife,
who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.
"What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't
cut!" he answered.
"Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me
your beard is tougher than linoleum?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Snickerdoodle Wraps
By attosa [202 Posts, 485 Comments]
You would never guess these crispy wraps were made of flour
tortillas. They are like thin cookies crossed with crepes
with a creamy filling. You can use a variety of fillings
like cream cheese, ricotta, or sour cream. I went with
yogurt. I can assure you when you take your first bite,
you'll be absolutely addicted. These are great for any time
of the day, and even make a fantastic dessert.
Approximate Time: 5 minutes
Yield: 2 wraps
Ingredients:
2 medium flour tortillas
2 Tbsp yogurt (or cream cheese, ricotta, sour cream)
1 Tbsp jam
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
oil for frying
Steps:
Spread tortilla with yogurt.
Add a thin layer of jam.
Tightly wrap, removing any filling that oozes out the sides.
Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps
Repeat.
You can use a toothpick to secure the wrap. I like to dab a
bit of yogurt on the end flap to seal. Works great.
Mix together your cinnamon and sugar thoroughly. This will
be for dipping after the frying process.
Add a couple tablespoons of oil to a pan on high heat. Fry
the wraps until golden brown, about 1 minute on each side.
Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps
Drain on paper towels for 10 seconds.
Roll the wraps in the cinnamon sugar.
Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps
Check out these amazing layers!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Sign posted in the Army recruiting office:
"Marry a veteran, Girls!
He can cook, make beds, sew,
and is already used to taking orders."
___________________________________________________
| the nature of God
|
____________________________________________________
Love is a form of temporary insanity
curable only by marriage.
----
No one ever falls in love with another person's mind
at a cocktail party.
----
The faster way to discover all your bad habits
is to move in with your lover.
----
Women are only fertile a few days each month...
unless they're single.
____________________________________________________
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger
who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair.
"You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he
sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and
family; I was a respected member of the community. But all
that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost
the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My
wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they
- some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the
morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse.
Doctor -
it's getting worse!"
"This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist
said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a
rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me
in advance."
"Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA."
After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist:
"OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled
events?"
The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted:
"Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up
on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?"
____________________________________________________
|
I could be so happy living in Devonshire, England, Monsanto, Portugal, Hobbiton, New Zealand...
|
Today on May 21
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London.
Edward IV took the throne.
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, CH
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain
Bartholomew Gosnold.
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City.
They were originally known as "swift walkers."
1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first
national convention.
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony.
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable
tire-carrying rim.
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop
airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to
fingerprint all of its citizens.
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the
Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll.
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men
aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later
found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores.
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at
Ohio State University.
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began.
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR,
killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic
rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his
parents before the rampage.
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a
butyric acid-attacker.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 3 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 539 )
What are double extensions on file names? Saturday, May 21, 2016, 11:42 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, May 21
Thanks to all who sent Birthday wishes! There was no way
I could reply to each, ho here is a Thank You to all of you!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Colorado woman, who robbed a bank while babysitting kids
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 21, in
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
You can't wait for inspiration.
You have to go after it with a club.
--- Jack London (1876 - 1916)
"The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work."
--- Harry Golden
Promise?
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery
center often chatted with patients before their
operations to help them relax.
One day he thought he recognized a woman as a
co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was
correct, he said,
"So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to
be?"
"Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
My doctor's receptionist called me to the desk to update my
personal file. Before I could tell her that all the infor-
mation she had was still correct, she asked, "Has your birth
date changed?"
Here they ask you for the date of birth as a kind of
password. If you don't know it, they tell you to get lost.
______________________________________________________
>From Dennis
There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big
to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with.
The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if
left alone long enough, will develop into something you
can't afford either.
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Sign posted in the Army recruiting office:
"Marry a veteran, Girls!
He can cook, make beds, sew,
and is already used to taking orders."
___________________________________________________
| the nature of God
|
____________________________________________________
Love is a form of temporary insanity
curable only by marriage.
----
No one ever falls in love with another person's mind
at a cocktail party.
----
The faster way to discover all your bad habits
is to move in with your lover.
----
Women are only fertile a few days each month...
unless they're single.
____________________________________________________
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger
who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair.
"You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he
sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and
family; I was a respected member of the community. But all
that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost
the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My
wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they
- some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the
morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse.
Doctor -
it's getting worse!"
"This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist
said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a
rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me
in advance."
"Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA."
After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist:
"OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled
events?"
The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted:
"Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up
on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?"
____________________________________________________
|
I could be so happy living in Devonshire, England, Monsanto, Portugal, Hobbiton, New Zealand...
|
Today on May 21
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London.
Edward IV took the throne.
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, CH
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain
Bartholomew Gosnold.
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City.
They were originally known as "swift walkers."
1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first
national convention.
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony.
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable
tire-carrying rim.
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop
airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to
fingerprint all of its citizens.
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the
Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll.
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men
aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later
found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores.
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at
Ohio State University.
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began.
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR,
killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic
rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his
parents before the rampage.
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a
butyric acid-attacker.
2016 smiled.
|
|
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Double extensions on file names Friday, May 20, 2016, 08:41 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, May 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Good Luck!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Female drug dealer indicted for her sex with pit bull
stored on her phone.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 20, in
1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the
Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis."
The trip took 33 1/2 hours.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people
vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
--- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
WOMAN SUES HOSPITAL
A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman,
one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that
after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost
all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually
admitted into Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his
eyesight."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Bob, a trendy dresser, fancied himself quite a romeo, and
was delighted to find a note pinned inside a new shirt. It
contained a girl's name and address, and asked the
recipient to send a photograph. How romantic, he thought
to himself, very taken with the idea of this mystery woman
so eager to meet him, and promptly mailed off a note and a
photo.
Heart aflutter, he opened her response. It read,
"Thanks for writing. I was just curious to see what kind of
guy would buy such a goofy shirt."
______________________________________________________
A priest had the weight of the world on him and was
showing the effects. The church sent him to a psychiatrist,
who ordered him to take a week off. The priest went to the
largest city in the area. After about a dozen belts of neat
whiskey, he found himself in one of the city's clip joints. A
very well built waitress in a flimsy, low-cut uniform came
over and asked, "What'll it be, Father?"
The priest felt to see if he was still wearing his collar by
mistake, but he had none on. "How did you know I'm a
priest? he asked.
The waitress laughed: "I'm Sister Mary Margaret. I go to the
same psychiatrist!"
______________________________________________________
Italian Valleys
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Female drug-dealing suspect accused of having sex with PITBULL
and filming it on her mobile phone
Jenna Louise Driscoll,
25,
Enoggera,
Australia
Jenna Louise Driscoll was being investigated by police on
suspicion of drug trafficking when officers claim they found
shocking bestiality footage
A woman will stand trial for bestiality after police claim to
have found a video of her having sex with a dog .
Jenna Louise Driscoll will was being investigated by cops on
suspicion of drug trafficking.
When they examined her phone as part of the case they found
footage of a woman - said to be Driscoll - having sexual
intercourse with the dog.
She has now officially been indicted on bestiality and drug
trafficking charges, reports the Brisbane Courier Mail .
Lawyers for 25-year-old Driscoll, from Enoggera, were in
Australia's Supreme Court this morning.
Prosecutors officially indicted Driscoll on two indictments,
each containing three charges. The suspect did not appear in
court as she was legally represented.
The drug charges related to trafficking in cannabis.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Lynn
RE: Double Extensions
Dear Webby
I know you said to always trash any attachments that have
two extensions, because they never have anythin worthwhile
but usually something harmful. My brother sent me a letter
that had an attachment with two extensions, so I deleted it
and told him to clean up his act. He told me they are not bad,
and that it can happen when one picks up a page saved
from the net and opens it with a spreadsheet program.
He told me not to worry about double extensions.
Lynn
Dear Lynn
Yes, it can happen, if somebody is too absentminded to
save a file properly, just like it can happen that somebody
like him watches people on the other side of the street,-
and walks into a lightpole.
Only somebody who has walked into too many light poles
would tell anybody to not worry about double extensions.
There may be the odd harmless ooops, but with double
extensions the hostile and dangerous files outnumber the
ooopses by a huge margin. With viruses and worms it is
much smarter to err on the safe side. You did the smart
thing.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard
lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?"
"I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily.
"Good," said the officer.
"Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?"
The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Drying a Toilet Brush
By Litter Gitter [166 Posts, 591 Comments]
After you finish, just stick the brush under the seat to hold
it in place while the water drips off and the brush dries.
Solves the problem of water and gunk collecting in your brush
holder.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Here is an old classic, returned by Collette:
During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I
married him in the first place.
"I was just stupid," I teased.
When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an
explanation.
"People get divorced all the time because they fall out of
love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out
of stupid."
___________________________________________________
| Scott Joplin's Peachrine Rag
|
____________________________________________________
Instead of a wise king,
we have whoever is left over when
each half of the country votes against
one of the competing manure spreaders.
____________________________________________________
One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm,
knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door.
"Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked.
"Sure is. He's over to the cow barn."
"Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have
any difficulty finding him?"
"Shouldn't have any difficulties... He's the one with the
beard, mustache and glasses, - and no horns."
____________________________________________________
| Fascinating Wire Mesh Sculptures
|
Today on May 200325 - The Ecumenical council was inaugurated by Emperor
Constantine in Nicea, Asia Minor.
1303 A peace treaty was signed between England and France
over the town of Gascony.
1506 In Spain, Christopher Columbus died in poverty.
1520 Hernando Cortez defeated Spanish troops that had been
sent to punish him in Mexico.
1690 England passed the Act of Grace, forgiving followers
of James II.
1674 John Sobieski became Poland’s first King.
1774 Britain's Parliament passed the Coercive Acts to
punish the American colonists for their increasingly
anti-British behavior
1775 North Carolina became the first colony to declare
its independence. This is the date that is on the George
state flag even though the date of this event has been
questioned.
1784 The Peace of Versailles ended a war between France,
England, and Holland.
1830 The fountain pen was patented by H.D. Hyde.
1861 North Carolina became the eleventh state to secede from the Union.
1861 During the American Civil War, the capital of the
Confederacy was moved from Montgomery, AL, to Richmond, VA.
1874 Levi Strauss began marketing blue jeans with copper rivets.
1899 Jacob German of New York City became the first driver to
be arrested for speeding. The posted speed limit was 12 miles
per hour.
1902 The U.S. military occupation of Cuba ended.
1902 Cuba gained its independence from Spain.
1926 The U.S. Congress passed the Air Commerce Act. The act
gave the Department of Commerce the right to license pilots
and planes.
1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the
Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis."
The trip took 33 1/2 hours.
1930 The first airplane was catapulted from a dirigible.
1932 Amelia Earhart took off to fly solo across the Atlantic
Ocean. She became the first woman to achieve the feat.
1941 Germany invaded Crete by air.
1942 Japan completed the conquest of Burma.
1949 DearWebby was born in Rankweil, Austria
1961 A white mob attacked the Freedom Riders in Montgomery, AL.
The event prompted the federal government to send U.S. marshals.
1969 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces captured Apbia Mountain,
which was referred to as Hamburger Hill.
1970 100,000 people marched in New York supporting U.S. policies
in Vietnam.
1978 Mavis Hutchinson, at age 53, became the first woman to run
across America. It took Hutchinson 69 days to run the 3,000 miles.
1990 The Hubble Space Telescope sent back its first photographs.
1993 The final episode of "Cheers" was aired on NBC-TV.
1996 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Colorado measure
banning laws that would protect homosexuals from discrimination.
2010 Scientists announced that they had created a funtional
synthetic genome.
2010 Five paintings worth 100 million Euro were stolen from the Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris.
2016 smiled.
|
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What to do when you get mugged by W10 Thursday, May 19, 2016, 10:09 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 19
Good Luck!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear.
He got 25 years for child porn on forgoten thumbdrive.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 19, in
1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King
Henry VIII, was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery.
1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the
Queen of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned
by Queen Elizabeth.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
May, 1961 "We will put men on the moon." John F. Kennedy
May, 2016 "We will put men in women's restrooms." Barack Obama
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the
table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why.
The waiter said "Chopsticks were provided only on request."
"But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chop-
sticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the
forks."
"True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire
three more people to clean up the mess."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Jill was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light,
the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the
traffic behind her grew quickly. The man in the car directly
behind her started honking his horn continuously, as Jill
continued trying to get the car to started again. Finally,
Jill got out of her car and approached the man in the car
behind her.
She smiled and said to him, "I can't seem to get my car
started. Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you
can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and
lean on your horn for you."
______________________________________________________
Returning from a trip to visit his grandmother in Canada,
Bill was stopped by a state trooper in New York for
exceeding the speed limit.
Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket,
Bill gave him a small bag of his grandmother's delicious
chocolate chip cookies and proceeded on his way.
Later, he was stopped by another trooper.
"What have I done now?" he asked.
"Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were
passing out great chocolate chip cookies."
______________________________________________________
From Noella
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Mother caught drunk and drinking beer with her 2 year old
strapped in the back seat. This at the drive thru at Arby's
in Chenango, New York.
Rebecca Shoemaker,
30,
Birmingham,
New York
Police have arrested a Binghamton mother after they say she
was caught drinking a beer while going through an Arby's
drive-thru.
New York State Police say the arrest occurred after troopers
responded to reports that Rebecca Shoemaker, 30, of
Binghamton, was drinking a beer while in the drive-thru at
Arby's on Upper Front Street in the Town of Chenango.
Police say Shoemaker was driving while intoxicated while she
had her 2-year-old child in the back seat.
Police say she refused to take a breath test to determine her
BAC.
She's been charged with the felony of aggravated DWI because a
child under the age of 16 was allegedly in her vehicle.
She was issued tickets returnable to Town of Chenango Court.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Esme
RE: What to do if I get mugged by W10?
Dear Webby
I turned off the automatic updates as advised but I was
viewing facebook when the pc stopped and started installing
Windows 10!
I don't think I pressed a wrong button but who knows?
Is this the latest way to get you converted.
regards Esme
Dear Esme
DON'T clean up to free space after they sleaze in W10!
Just do these steps.
Open up Settings via the Start menu or the taskbar icon.
Click Update & Security and
then move to the Recovery section.
Under the Go back to Windows 7 or Go back to Windows 8.1
heading, click Get started and
you'll be guided through the rest of the process.
That's pretty well all you have to do.
If you want to read more about it, go to
Details are at
http://betanews.com/2015/08/17/how-to-u ... indows-10-
and-go-back-to-windows-7-or-8-1/
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A woman was having a medical problem - her husband
snoring. So she called the doctor one morning, and asked
him if there was anything he could do to relieve her
"suffering."
"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure
your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will
cost $2500 down, and payments of $550 for 24 months,
plus payments for extras."
"My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing
a new sports car!"
"Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Drying a Toilet Brush
By Litter Gitter [166 Posts, 591 Comments]
After you finish, just stick the brush under the seat to hold
it in place while the water drips off and the brush dries.
Solves the problem of water and gunk collecting in your brush
holder.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital
waiting room, while their wives were in labor.
The nurse arrived and announced to the first man,
"Congratulations sir, You're the father of twins."
"What a coincidence," the man said with some obvious
pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team."
The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the
second man, "You sir, are the father of triplets."
"Wow, That's really an incredible coincidence," he
answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation." My buddies
at work will never let me live this one down.
An hour later, while the other two men were passing
cigars around, the nurse came back, this time she turn
to the 3rd man - who had been quiet in the corner. She
announced that his wife had just given birth to
quadruplets.
Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don't tell me!
Another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally
regaining his composure, he said "I don't believe it,
I work for the Four Seasons Hotel."
After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to
the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the
floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some
time, he slowly gained back his consciousness.
When he was finally able to speak, you could hear him
whispering repeatedly the same phrase over and over
again.
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven...
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven...
"I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven..."
___________________________________________________
| Johnny Carson/Dom DeLuise - the eggs
|
____________________________________________________
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than
men, showed her a study which indicated that men use
about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000
words a day.
She thought about this, then told her husband that women
use twice as many words as men because they have to
repeat everything they say.
Looking stunned, he said, "What?"
____________________________________________________
The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and
possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each
smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the
town square.
The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone
call, since he was unable to reach either parent.
Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant
said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer."
"Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver a pizza."
____________________________________________________
| 28 Dog And Cat Species That You Had No Idea Existed
|
Today on May 19
1535 French explorer Jacques Cartier set sail for
North America.
1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King
Henry VIII, was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery.
1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the
Queen of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned
by Queen Elizabeth.
1588 The Spanish Armada set sail from Lisbon to England.
1608 The Protestant states formed the Evangelical Union
of Lutherans and Calvinists.
1643 French army defeated a Spanish army at Rocroi, France.
1796 The first U.S. game law was approved. The measure called
for penalties for hunting or destroying game within
Indian territory.
1847 The first English-style railroad coach was placed in
service on the Fall River Line in Massachusetts.
1857 The electric fire alarm system was patented by William
F. Channing and Moses G. Farmer.
1858 A pro-slavery band led by Charles Hameton executed
unarmed Free State men near Marais des Cygnes on the
Kansas-Missouri border.
1864 The Union and Confederate armies launched their last
attacks against each other at Spotsylvania in Virginia.
1911 The first American criminal conviction that was
based on fingerprint evidence occurred in New York City.
1921 The U.S. Congress passed the Emergency Quota Act,
which established national quotas for immigrants.
1926 Thomas Edison spoke on the radio for the first time.
1926 Benito Mussolini announced that democracy was deceased.
Rome became a fascist state.
1926 In Damascus, Syria, French shells killed 600 people.
1935 T.E. Lawrence "Lawrence of Arabia" died from injuries
in a motorcycle crash in England.
1943 Winston Churchill told the U.S. Congress that his country
was pledging their full support in the war against Japan.
1958 Canada and the U.S. formally established the
North American Air Defense Command.
1962 Marilyn Monroe performed a sultry rendition of
"Happy Birthday" for U.S. President John F. Kennedy. The
event was a fund-raiser at New York's Madison Square Garden.
1964 The U.S. State Department reported that diplomats had
found about 40 microphones planted in the U.S. Embassy
in Moscow.
1967 The Soviet Union ratified a treaty with the US and
Britain that banned nuclear weapons from outer space.
1967 U.S. planes bombed Hanoi for the first time.
1988 In Jacksonville, FL, Carlos Lehder Rivas was convicted
of smuggling more than three tons of cocaine into the US.
Rivas was the co-founder of Colombia's Medellin drug cartel.
1992 In Massapequa, NY, Mary Jo Buttafuoco was shot and
seriously wounded by Amy Fisher. Fisher was her husband
Joey's teen-age lover.
1998 In Russia, strikes broke out over unpaid wages.
1998 Bandits stole three of Rome's most important paintings
from the National Gallery of Modern Art.
1999 "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" was released
in the U.S. It set a new record for opening day sales at
28.5 million.
2000 The bones of the most complete and best-preserved
Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton went on display in Chicago.
2000 Disney released the movie "Dinosaur."
2003 It was announced that Worldcom Inc. would pay investors
$500 million to settle civil fraud charges over its $11
billion accounting scandal.
2003 Hundreds of Albert Einstein's scientific papers, personal
letters and humanist essays were made available on the Internet.
Einstein had given the papers to the Hebrew Universtiy of
Jerusalem in his will.
2005 "Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith" brought in
50.0 million in its opening day.
2016 smiled.
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How do I turn automatic updates off? Wednesday, May 18, 2016, 07:22 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, May 18
Good Luck!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear.
He got 25 years for child porn on forgoten thumbdrive.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 18, in
1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people
were killed and 3 billion in damage was done.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
God made everything out of nothing,
but the nothingness shows through.
--- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came
into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary
words. "Mom," she asked, "what's a quarter horse?"
As I thought of a simple explanation, my five-year-old son
piped up, "I know! It's the one they have in front of the
grocery store."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
______________________________________________________
Bill loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy
about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to
spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of
lower Manhattan.
So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from
the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an
hour's wait.
He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees,
a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck.
He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to
a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?'
"Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited
a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear
gets 25 years for child porn
Haschel Capps,
34,
England
An Arkansas petsitter arrested earlier this year after an
investigation into explicit photos of young girls found
on a thumb drive has pleaded guilty to child pornography
charges.
Pulaski County sheriff’s office spokesman Capt. Carl
Minden said in a statement Friday that Haschel Capps, 34,
of England was sentenced to 25 years in prison as part of
a plea deal.
Capps’ arrest in January came after a man reported
finding Capps — who had been hired to watch over the
man’s pets during an out-of-town trip — wearing women’s
underwear and using a laptop in his home in August 2014,
according to a report.
The homeowner told the sheriff's office that the two then
got into an argument and he kicked Capps out of the
residence.
The man reported in October of that year to the sheriff’s
office that he had found a thumb drive in his couch that
contained photos of “small girls nude and in a
pornographic nature.”
That drive also contained photos of Capps wearing women’s
underwear, apparently taken by someone else, he told
authorities.
Capps remained at the Pulaski County jail as of Friday
evening, according to an inmate roster.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Tom
RE: How do I turn automatic updates off?
Dear Webby
Good Morning, -- at least it was --
I have a Toshiba laptop, about 4 years old, with Windoze
7.
Question, How do I find out if it has an ASUS motherboard
and, if I do, how do I turn off auto update? This was my
wife's machine and has a few sticcky keys which got that
way from spilled wine (don't ask)
As usual, I enjoy your site and this notice about Windows
7 has me buffaloed.
My desktop is running Windows 8.1 and my little netbook
is using XP which works for me.
I also have a tablet running on Android so I assume that
is safe, at least for now.
tom
DearTom!
Writer to Toshiba support and ask them.
re Updates:
Open Windows Update by clicking the Start button
In the search box, type Update, and then,
in the list of results, clickWindows Update.
In the left pane, click Change settings.
Choose the option that you want.
Personally, I let McAfee take care of that.
It checks for updates and then lets me choose which ones
I want, and which ones I don't want.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
my friend Roland, a long time subscriber and frequent
contributor wrote me today:
Dear Webby
Lost my job today.
Came into work on time...
I did exactly what the boss told me to do! I followed all the
rules, and never once disrespected anybody.
Then, the first time I ever had a chance to drive one of
them forklifts, I made one little mistake, and everyone
starts running around in circles screaming and shouting.
You'd think I blew the place up or something, the way
people were looking at me afterwards!
I don't understand it... I didn't mean to do it... It was just
a little accident, nobody got hurt and the forklift didn't
even get scratched.
Everyone messes up some time, it could've happened to
anyone! I have no idea why they got so uptight and fired
me. Do you think it might be discrimination?
Why Roland got laid off
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Brownie Bowls
By Judy Pariser S. [99 Posts, 102 Comments]
When you put your pudding, ice cream, or fruit in a
homemade brownie bowl, you can eat the dish!
Approximate Time: 25 min prep, 30 to bake
Yield: 12 bowls
Ingredients:
Brownie mix or recipe* for an 8-inch square pan of
brownies
4 muffin tins
*Here is the link to my brownie recipe: Best Brownies
Steps:
Grease and flour the cups of one muffin tin.
Fill the first muffin tins no more than 2/3 full of
batter.
Grease and flour the underside of the second muffin tin.
Press the second tin on top of the first.
Repeat with the third and fourth muffin tin.
Bake at 350 degrees F for 25-30 minutes.
Let cool completely before you separate the tins.
Fill with ice cream, pudding, or fruit. You may top with
whipped cream, if you wish.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an
old lady in the park.
Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave
her the dollar.
"There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me,
isn't the lady able to work any more?"
"Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."
___________________________________________________
| inside Blue Angels
|
____________________________________________________
A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on
television about becoming a teacher. She called the number
shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the
student babbled on about how she thought she had found
her life's calling and could she send her some information.
The lady who answered the phone asked the student what
number she was calling. The student told her and there was
a pause. Then she said, "You misspelled TEACH."
____________________________________________________
A little boy came home from the playground with a
bloody, nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious
he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was
patching him up, he asked his son what happened.
"Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel.
And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"
____________________________________________________
| "The Old New World" Photo-based animation project.
|
Today on May 18
1302 The weaver Peter de Coningk led a massacre of the
Flemish oligarchs.
1642 Montreal, Canada, was founded.
1643 Queen Anne, the widow of Louis XIII, was granted sole
and absolute power as regent by the Paris parliament,
overriding the late king's will.
1652 In Rhode Island, a law was passed that made slavery
illegal in North America. It was the first law of its kind.
1792 Russian troops invaded Poland.
1802 Great Britain declared war on Napoleon's France.
1804 Napoleon Bonaparte was proclaimed emperor by the
French Senate.
1828 Battle of Las Piedras ended the conflict between
Uruguay and Brazil.
1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Selective Service act,
which called up soldiers to fight in World War I.
1926 Evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson vanished while
visiting a beach in Venice, CA. She reappeared a month
later with the claim that she had been kidnapped.
1931 Japanese pilot Seiji Yoshihara crashed his plane in the
Pacific Ocean while trying to be the first to cross the ocean
nonstop. He was picked up seven hours later by a passing ship.
1933 The Tennessee Valley Authority was created.
1934 The U.S. Congress approved an act, known as the "Lindberg Act,"
that called for the death penalty in interstate kidnapping cases.
1944 Monte Cassino, Europe's oldest Monastic house, was
finally captured by the Allies in Italy.
1953 The first woman to fly faster than the speed of sound,
Jacqueline Cochran, piloted an F-86 Sabrejet over California
at an average speed of 652.337 miles-per-hour.
1974 India became the sixth nation to explode an atomic bomb.
1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people
were killed and 3 billion in damage was done.
1983 The U.S. Senate revised immigration laws and gave millions
of illegal aliens legal status under an amnesty program.
1994 Israel's three decades of occupation in the Gaza Strip
ended as Israeli troops completed their withdrawal and
Palestinian authorities took over.
1998 The U.S. federal government and 20 states filed a
sweeping antitrust case against Microsoft Corp., saying the
computer software company had a "choke hold" on competitors
which denied consumer choices by controlling 90% of the
software market.
1998 U.S. federal officials arrested more than 130 people
and seized $35 million. This was the end to an investigation
of money laundering being done by a dozen Mexican banks and
two drug-smuggling cartels.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 3 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3.2 / 337 )
Where do spammers get the addresses from? Tuesday, May 17, 2016, 10:32 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 17
If you use Windows 7 and have an ASUS motherboard, turn
auto-update off NOW!
Make 100% sure you don't do the W7 Murder update #
KB3133977
Microsoft did update the support document for KB3133977
with a warning which states: “After you install
update 3133977 on a Windows 7 x64-based system that
includes an Asus-based main board, the system does not
start”.
They warned you about their cold blooded murder.
If you DID let KB3133977 sleaze in, DO NOT try to
restart! It will not start up again, ever.
Carefully back up everything you will need on your next
machine onto an external drive or camera chips or onto
the net.
Then order your next machine.
Details are at
Microsoft kills W7 on machines
with ASUS motherboards
Microsoft knew about this in advance, but it has no
plans to do anything about it. You can always buy a W10
machine.
The only not quite so bad news is that you can take the
hard drive from the murdered W7 machine, put it into an
USB drive enclosure, and plug it into a W7 machine, that
has not been murdered yet, and transfer the data to
that machine. IF you have such a machine sitting around.
Other than that, you can buy a W10 machine and plug the
USB drive into that.
Keep an eye out for a KB3133977 blocker, but be aware
that Microsoft is out to kill W7. They are not going to
let it live forever like XP.
ASUS has a way toget around Microsoft's bomb, IF you
have another machine to read the isntructions at
go to the following Asus support website to learn how to
disable Secure Boot for Windows 7 or print them out
beforehand.
http://www.asus.com/support/FAQ/1016356/
Good Luck!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Man who smashed ‘Molotov cocktail’ into cop car
‘wanted to go to jail.’
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 17, in
1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood
after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former
Miami police officers of fatally beating black insurance
executive Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in
the rioting.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If people never did silly things,
nothing intelligent would ever get done.
--- Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951)
"To get rich, never risk your health. For it is the truth
that health is the wealth of wealth."
--— Richard Baker
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A small company that had frequent break-ins installed a
new security system with alarms, codes and key pads.
Late one night the alarm went off and the police raced to
the scene. Outside the building, wandering around the
grounds, they spotted and apprehended a suspect.
The police called the Security Director for the company
and said, "We caught the culprit, an old guy with a cane,
well dressed, but kinda slow. He tried to pass as an
employee, but he knows nothing about your business."
The Security Director said, "Oh, that's the president of
the company. He can never remember his exit code."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just
before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked.
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple
operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so
frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the
doctor!"
______________________________________________________
The Father knocked on the bathroom door where his
teenage daughter had been taking a bath for over an
hour.
"Cindy! Just how long will you be in that bathtub?"
From the other side of the door came an exasperated
reply: "Oh Daddy! Water affects your weight,
not your height. I'm still 5'4"!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Man who smashed ‘Molotov cocktail’ into cop car
‘wanted to go to jail.’
Jose Rodriguez
28
Gloucester City,
New Jersey
A Gloucester City who man was arrested for allegedly
lighting a “Molotov cocktail” and smashing it into a
marked police car Saturday said he did it because he
wanted to go to jail, authorities said.
Gloucester City police say 28-year-old Jose E. Rodriguez
walked into the parking lot of the police department
around 8:17 p.m. carrying a Molotov cocktail.
Authorities say he set it ablaze and then smashed the
device against the side of a marked 2015 Ford Explorer.
When police went to the parking lot to extinguish the
flames, they found Rodriguez standing in the lot and
asked if he saw the person who started the fire.
“When the officers asked the male if he saw who started
the fire, he told them he did because he wanted to go to
jail,” police said in a statement on their Facebook
page.
Following an investigation, Rodriguez was charged with
aggravated arson, possession of a weapon, possession of
a weapon for an unlawful purpose and criminal mischief.
He is being held in Camden County Jail on $100,000 bail.
Authorities say the patrol vehicle only sustained minor
damage.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Jean
RE: Spam from known addresses
Dear Webby
Some of the spam I get is from addresses that I KNOW
are not spammers. How can one tell where the spam is
really coming from? And WHERE do they get the return
addresses from that they forge onto their spam?
Jean
Dear Jean
If you have ever forwarded a sappy chain letter, that was
a thinly disguised harvesting of addresses, or if you
have a Yahoo or AOL a ddress, or if you work for the
hacked US Government or any of the hacked companies, then
your address is in the hands of the spammers.
If you have MailWasher,
it will reveal the actual FROM address, that they
disguise with your or a friend's address.
There is no point writing back to spammers. They usually
just use disposable addresses, that they never check
anyway. Just dump the spam.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital
where his teenage son was about to have an operation.
Watching the doctor's every move, he asked,
"What's that?"
The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he
gets this he won't know a thing."
"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't
know nothing now."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making Paper Tea Light Shades
By ShirleyE [76 Posts, 56 Comments]
These beautiful light shades will give a beautiful fairy
grotto feel to a springtime buffet.
Use electric tea lights rather than real candles so there
is no danger of the paper catching on fire.
Supplies:
A5 coloured paper
pencil
thumb tack/drawing pin
a chopping board, corrugated card, or polystyrene tile
double sided sticky tape
electric tea light
Steps:
Draw a simple design onto your paper. If you don't have
any A5 paper, just cut a sheet of A4 in half.
Place your design onto your chopping board, corrugated
card, or polystyrene tile to protect your work surface.
Use the thumb tack or other sharp tool to make holes
along the lines of your design.
If your design includes words, don't forget to write the
letters backwards.
Apply double sided sticky tape to one short edge.
Curl the paper into a cylinder and secure with the tape.
Turn on your light, place inside the tube and enjoy the
display.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Lately at a restaurant I overheard the couple at the next
table discuss their bill.
"Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based
of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog
back on the farm worth at least $ 137,000."
___________________________________________________
| inside Blue Angels
|
____________________________________________________
A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit.
So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured
for a suit. A week later he went in for his first
fitting.
He put on the suit and he looked stunning; he felt that
in this suit he could really do business.
As he was preening in front of the mirror, he reached
down to put his hands in the pockets. To his surprise, he
noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to
the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a
banker?"
The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
The tailor then said, "Whoever heard of a banker with his
hands in his own pockets?"
____________________________________________________
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his
three sons. The instructions left in the will said that
the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest
one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons,
recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into
these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule
and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to
the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or
nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the
youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2
equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument,
hitched up his mule and drove home.
____________________________________________________
| Serenity for your soul. I wonder what it's like to live in these charming villages from around the world.
|
Today on May 17
1540 Afghan chief Sher Khan defeated Mongul Emperor
Humayun at Kanauj.
1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi saw the belts on
Jupiter's surface.
1681 Louis XIV sent an expedition to aid James II in
Ireland. As a result, England declares war on France.
1756 Britain declared war on France again, beginning
the French and Indian War.
1792 The New York Stock Exchange was founded at 70 Wall
Street by 24 brokers.
1814 Denmark ceded Norway to Sweden. Norway's constitution,
which provided a limited monarchy, was signed.
1875 The first Kentucky Derby was run at Louisville, KY.
1877 The first telephone switchboard burglar alarm was
installed by Edwin T. Holmes.
1932 The U.S. Congress changed the name "Porto Rico"
to "Puerto Rico."
1940 Germany occupied Brussels, Belgium and began the
invasion of France.
1946 U.S. President Truman seized control of the nation's
railroads, delaying a threatened strike by engineers
and trainmen.
1948 The Soviet Union recognized the new state of Israel.
1954 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled for school
integration in Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka.
The ruling declared that racially segregated schools were
inherently unequal.
1956 The first synthetic mica (synthamica) was offered for
sale in Caldwell Township, NJ.
1973 The U.S. Senate Watergate Committee began its hearings.
1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood
after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former Miami
police officers of fatally beating black insurance executive
Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in the rioting.
1985 Bobby Ewing died on the season finale of "Dallas"
on CBS-TV. He returned the following season.
1987 An Iraqi warplane attacked the U.S. Navy frigate Stark
in the Persian Gulf, killing 37 American sailors. Iraq
and the United States called the attack a mistake.
1996 U.S. President Clinton signed a measure requiring
neighborhood notification when sex offenders move in.
Megan's Law was named for 7-year-old Megan Kanka, who
was raped and killed in 1994.
1997 Rebel leader Kabila declared himself president of the
Democratic Republic of the Congo, formerly Zaire.
2000 Thomas E. Blanton Jr. and David Luker surrendered to police
in Birmingham, AL. The two former Ku Klux Klan members were
arrested on charges from the bombing of a church in 1963 that
killed four young black girls.
2000 Austria, the U.S. and six other countries agreed on the
broad outline of a plan that would compensate Nazi-Era
forced labor.
2001 The U.S. Postal Service issued a stamp based on
Charles M. Schulz's "Peanuts" comic strip.
2006 The U.S. aircraft carrier Oriskany was sunk about
24 miles off Pensacola Beach. It was the first vessel
sunk under a Navy program to dispose of old warships
by turning them into diving attractions. It was the
largest man-made reef at the time of the sinking.
2007 Trains crossed the border dividing North and South Korea
for the first time since 1953.
2016 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
( 2 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 216 )
Icon text background transparent Monday, May 16, 2016, 10:44 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 16
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Las Vegas teacher arrested after she kept a journal of her
sexual relationship with under-age ex-student
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 16, in
1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set
up the Afghan state.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
"A common mistake that people make when trying to make
something completely foolproof is to underestimate the
ingenuity of complete fools."
--- Douglas Adams
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing
gained control of the country,
it would probably fly around in circles.
--- Pat Paulsen
Be thankful we're not getting all the government
we're paying for.
--- Will Rogers
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Joe
At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he
planned to be around for his 104th.
"I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few
people die between the ages of 103 and 104."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma.
Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?"
The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail."
______________________________________________________
Ma and Pa made their annual visit to church for the Easter
service. As they were leaving, the minster said,
"Pa, it sure would be nice to see you and ma here more
than once a year!"
"I know," replied Pa, "but at least we keep the Ten
Commandments."
"That's great," the minister said. "I'm glad to hear that
you keep the Commandments.""Yup," Pa said proudly,
"Ma keeps six of 'em and I keep the other four."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to dad for this picture:
Due to lack of Gullible Warming the Easter Cacti are a
bit late this year. These bloomed today.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Las Vegas teacher arrested after she kept
journal of her sexual relationship with ex-student
Nicole Wilfinger,
37,
Las Vegas,
Nevada
Molasky Junior High School math teacher Nicole Wilfinger
kept a journal on her cellphone of her relationship history
with a former student, according to her arrest report.
The journal had entries listing first-time occurrences,
according to the report. For instance, it lists May 22 as
“first time talking and friendship changes forever” and July
11 as “first time we had sex.”
Wilfinger was a family friend to the former student, who
told police she was his soccer coach for two years, the
report said. She had been to his family’s home and attended
some outings with his family.
According to the report, she babysat the family’s 7-year-old
daughter, and the family sometimes babysat her 7-year-old
daughter.
The report indicates that more than 1,970 phone calls were
exchanged between Wilfinger and the student. Police said
they recovered 156 text messages and 325 images that had
been deleted from Wilfinger’s phone.
According to the arrest report, the sexual relationship
started when the former student was 14. Wilfinger and the
teenager both told police they had sex three times.
Wilfinger, 37, was arrested April 28. She faces three counts
of statutory sexual seduction by a person older than 21,
one count of engaging in sexual conduct with a student
between the ages of 14 and 15, one count of engaging in
sexual conduct with a student between the ages of 16 and 17,
and three counts of lewdness with a child older than 14.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Nathan
RE: Get rid of icon text background
Dear Webby
On my desktop the icons and the words under them used to
have an invisble background and it looked Good...But I made
my own background and now the words have colors behind
them. Is there a way to get the invisibilty back again?
Thank you for your time!!
Nathan
Dear Nathan
Open System Properties in Control Panel,
choose the Advanced tab,
click Settings in the Performance section.
Turn on the Use drop shadows for icon labels on the
desktop option, and click Ok.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
After receiving his medication from the pharmacist, the
customer asks, "Are these time release pills?"
The pharmacist replies, "Yes. They begin to work after
your check clears."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Double Crust Taco Pie
By Paige P. [2 Posts]
This recipe came from a cookbook in my vintage book
collection. I made it once and was an instant family
favorite. Children love it!
Approximate Time: 30 Minutes
Yield: 6 to 8 servingsDouble Crust Taco Pie
Ingredients:
2 cans crescent rolls
1 lb lean ground beef
1 pkg taco seasoning
1/2 cup salsa
4 cups shredded cheese
Steps:
On sprayed cookie sheet, spread out one can of crescent
rolls in a flat sheet. Pinch perforations closed.
Brown ground beef in skillet with taco seasoning, drain if
desired. Add salsa.
Layer beef mixture and shredded cheese until all used,
starting with a beef layer, ending with a cheese layer on
crescent dough.
Unroll second can of crescent rolls onto beef mixture and
cheese layering. Roll and pinch edges together, leaving the
natural perforations open to serve as steam vents.
Bake at 400 degrees F for 15 minutes.
Serve with sour cream and salsa as desired.
Source: Cooking to Beat the Band!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
After trying a new shampoo for the first time. A guy fired
off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer.
Several weeks later he came home from work to a large
carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples
of the many products the company produced: soaps,
detergents, tooth paste and paper items.
"Well, what do you think" his wife asked smiling.
"Next time," he replied. "I'm writing to General Motors!
___________________________________________________
| dad dressing twins
|
____________________________________________________
Home is where you can say anything you like
because nobody listens to you anyway.
____________________________________________________
Thanks to the Folks from Erie for these ancient Burma
Shave poems. Once upon a time, before the big billboards
became popular, these were on simple boards along the
highways all across the country.
DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave
DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
IS NOT AMUSING
Burma Shave
BROTHER SPEEDER,
LET'S REHEARSE;
ALL TOGETHER,
GOOD MORNING NURSE
Burma Shave
CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND LOTS MORE STEER
Burma Shave
SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKES THE SPOT
Burma Shave
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED HIM TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave
AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
A BEAUTIFUL NEW CAR
WASN'T IT
Burma Shave
NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU
Burma Shave
A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'
Burma Shave
AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY
Burma Shave
BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S CODE
Burma Shave
THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING
Burma Shave
CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.
Burma Shave
PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma Shave
____________________________________________________
| 20 gorgeous real life villages which come straight out of fairytales.
|
Today on May 16
1770 Marie Antoinette, at age 14, married the future King
Louis XVI of France, who was 15.
1866 The U.S. Congress authorized the first 5-cent piece
1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson was acquitted during
the Senate impeachment, by one vote.
1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set
up the Afghan state.
1881 In Germany, the first electric tram for the public
started service.
1888 The first demonstration of recording on a flat disc
was demonstrated by Emile Berliner.
1888 The capitol of Texas was dedicated in Austin.
1920 Joan of Arc was canonized in Rome.
1946 "Annie Get Your Gun" opened on Broadway.
1946 Jack Mullin showed the world the first magnetic
tape recorder.
1960 Theodore Maiman, at Hughes Research Laboratory
in California, demonstrated the first working laser.
1963 After 22 Earth orbits Gordon Cooper returned to
Earth, ending Project Mercury.
1969 Venus 5, a Russian spacecraft, landed on the
planet Venus.
1975 Japanese climber Junko Tabei became the first woman
to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
1987 The Bobro 400 set sail from New York Harbor with
3,200 tons of garbage. The barge travelled 6,000 miles
in search of a place to dump its load. It returned to
New York Harbor after 8 weeks with the same load.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police do not have
to have a search warrant to search discarded garbage.
1991 Queen Elizabeth II became the first British monarch
to address the U.S. Congress.
1997 In Zaire, President Mobutu Sese Seko gave control of
the country to rebel forces ending 32 years of autocratic
rule.
2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was nominated
to run for U.S. Senator in New York. She was the first U.S.
first lady to run for public office.
2005 Sony Corp. unveiled three styles of its new
PlayStation 3 video game machine.
2016 smiled.
|
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Sunday, May 15, 2016, 10:07 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 15
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Venezuelan Stripper, who was arrested for knocking out her
Mother In Law.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 15, in
1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its
115,000 troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been
there for more than eight years battling the US armed and
trained Taliban.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A committee can make a decision that is dumber
than any of its members.
--- David Coblitz
No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own
mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.
--- Donald Foster
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The country doctor was just returning from a delivery at
an outlying cattle ranch, when he crossed paths with the
town's gossip while filling up his car at the gas station.
"Doctor Wilson, how is the Smith baby?"
"Well, the child was born without a penis." he replied.
"Oh, oh my goodness!" said the gossip... and with a smile
on her face, she turned to head into town to spread the
news.
Once she was out of earshot, he told the gas station
attendant: "They are going to call her Eva."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a bit more than a
dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking
for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted past a stop
sign.
"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an
irate man.
She rolled down her window and screamed back:
"What makes you think these are all mine???"
______________________________________________________
A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist
down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"
Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser.
This happens everyday for a week straight, and the
bartender turns into a nervous wreck.
He asks his wife for advice, and she tells him he should
stand up for himself. Easier said than done, he thinks,
but he decides to try it.
The next day, the hooligan returns.
"Give me a Budweiser, or...!"
"O-o-o-o-r-r-r w-what?" stammers the bartender.
"A small Coke, please."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Venezuelan stripper and glamor model was
arrested after she knocked out her mother in law.
Diosa Canales, 29,
Roberto Rojas Romero, 32,
Naguanagua, Carabobo
Venezuela
According to her statement, the mother in law says, the
incident happened after the couple’s two-year-old daughter
accidentally swallowed Rivotril pills - a tranquiliser drug
sometimes known as Clonazepam - and threw away the
bottle.She described how the model, who has more than 36,000
followers on Instagram, began to verbally abuse the little
girl and she intervened. At this point her son grabbed onto
her neck and strangled her until she could not breath, after
which Canales punched her in her left eye, leaving her
unconscious for some minutes.
According to a police report , both of them have been
arrested for having "caused physical injury to the mother in
various parts of the body".
The alleged victim, Solange Ramona Romero Mota, 50, went to
the police station to report the attack.
Diosa Canales is a Venezuelan singer, pole-dancer, and model
well known for making promises of getting naked if her
country's national football team wins a football tournament.
She became an internet phenomenon when she got naked in
front of her twitcam and was watched by more than 30,000
people in less than 12 minutes. She even became a trending
topic until she was censored by Twitter.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Bob
RE: Spybot versus Malwarebytes
Dear Webby
I use the free version of Malwarebytes to protect my
computer from Spyware and Malware. Â Someone told me that
the free version of SPYBOT is better protection against
Spyware & Malware.
Would appreciate your comments.
Bob Faria
Daily Voter
Bob
Dear Bob
Spybot is pretty good and does get rid of a lot of spying
ad-ware, but that is only a small portion of malware, that
needs to be gotten rid of.
Even the free version of Malwarebytes gets
rid of a lot more
malware.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
After Psycho was released, Hitchcock received an
angry letter from the father of a girl who refused to take
a bath after seeing Les Diaboliques.
Now she was refusing to take a shower after seeing
Psycho.
Hitchcock sent him a note back simply saying,
"Send her to the dry cleaners."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cakes Sticking to the Pan
By sadiena [3 Posts, 3 Comments]
What is the easiest way to bake a cake without it sticking
to the pan and spending all this time scrubbing the pan?
By booboo kitty from Jacksonville, FL
Best Answer
I've always greased the pan the old fashioned way and then
after removing the cake just simply soak the pans in water
for about five minutes and it comes off easily with even
your fingertips. Definitely no scrubbing and save money by
not using extra or fancy products.
By Michelle Landreth [17 Posts, 67 Comments]
Best Answer
Baker's Joy or store brand, works like a charm! I wouldn't
try these for years because I didn't want to risk my cake
possibly sticking to the pans. I always greased and floured
my pans the old fashioned way. I finally broke down and
tried the sprays. They work great and so simple to use.
Cakes pop right out of the pans with no problem.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Mother: "Soooo... you want to become my son-in-law."
Suitor: "No, not really. But I don't see any other way to
marry your daughter."
___________________________________________________
| two dogs dining
|
____________________________________________________
A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind,
I'll do it myself;" lets her.
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind,
I'll do it myself,"
and he lets her; gets mad.
A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind,
I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad; says,
"Now what are you mad about?"
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind,
I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad, and he
says, "Now what are mad about?" says "If you are such an
insensitive and inconsiderate and seflish bonehad that you
don't know, then there is no point wasting my time to tell
you.
____________________________________________________
An overweight Lucy consulted her doctor for advice. The
doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days.
This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty
pounds.
Lucy followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days,
she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky
twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for
the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.
At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last
question: "Are you going to come pick me up, or do I have to
run home 300 Miles?"
____________________________________________________
| 25 little places which are just too wonderful to be real.
|
Today on May 15
1602 Cape Cod was discovered by Bartholomew Gosnold.
1614 An aristocratic uprising in France ended with the
treaty of St.Menehould.
1618 Johannes Kepler published his harmonics law.
1702 The War of Spanish Succession began.
1768 Under the Treaty of Versailles, France purchased
Corsica from Genoa.
1795 Napoleon entered the Lombardian capital of Milan.
1849 Neapolitan troops entered Palermo, and were in
possession of Sicily.
1911 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the dissolution of
Standard Oil Company, ruling it was in violation of
the Sherman Antitrust Act.
1916 U.S. Marines landed in Santo Domingo to quell
civil disorder.
1930 Ellen Church became the first female flight attendant.
1940 Nylon stockings went on sale in the U.S.
1942 Gasoline rationing began in the U.S. The limit was
3 gallons a week for nonessential vehicles.
1948 Israel was attacked by Transjordan, Egypt, Syria,
Iraq and Lebanon only hours after declaring its
independence.
1951 AT&T became the first corporation to have one
million stockholders.
1957 Britain dropped its first hydrogen bomb on Christmas
Island in the Pacific Ocean.
1958 Sputnik III, the first space laboratory, was launched
in the Soviet Union.
1963 The last Project Mercury space flight was launched.
1970 U.S. President Nixon appointed America's first
two female generals.
1970 Phillip Lafayette Gibbs and James Earl Green, two
black students at Jackson State University in Mississippi,
were killed when police opened fire during student
protests.
1972 Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot by Arthur Bremer
in Laurel, MD while campaigning for the U.S. presidency.
Wallace was paralyzed by the shot.
1975 The merchant ship U.S. Mayaguez was recaptured from
Cambodia's Khmer Rouge.
1980 The first transcontinental balloon crossing of the
United States took place.
1983 In Boston,MA, the Madison Hotel was destroyed by
implosion.
1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its
115,000 troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been
there for more than eight years battling the US armed and
trained Taliban.
1990 Vincent Van Gogh's "Portrait of Doctor Gachet" was
sold for $82.5 million. The sale set a new world record.
1997 The Space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission
to deliver urgently needed repair equipment and a fresh
American astronaut to Russia's orbiting Mir station.
2016 smiled.
|
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What to do with forwarding requests Saturday, May 14, 2016, 08:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, May 14
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
former NY principal who was fired for being always
late, was 88 days late for appealing the firing.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 14, in
1264 Baron's War fought in England
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Human beings are the only creatures that allow
their children to come back home.
--- Bill Cosby
"The spirit in which a thing is given determines how
the debt is acknowledged; it's the intention,
not the face-value of the gift, that's weighed."
--- Seneca the Younger
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Not long after his marriage, Ernie Junior and his father
Ernie senior, met for lunch.
"Well son," asked Ernie senior, "How is married life
treating you?"
"Not very well, I'm afraid," sighed junior, "It seems I
married a nun."
"A nun?" his father questioned.
"That's right," moaned Ernie junior, "None in the morning,
none at night, and none at all unless I beg!"
Ernie senior nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the
back. "Why don't we all get together for dinner tonight and
have a nice talk?"
Young Ernie smiled, "Say, Dad, that's a great idea!"
"Fine," replied Ernie senior, "I'll call home and ask the
successor to Mother Superior to set two extra plates."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through
the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling
hung over and tired, he finally nods off.
The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his
apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the
sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him.
In almost a whisper he says to his congregation, "All those
wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand."
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping
man. Then the preacher yells with increasing loudness:
"And he who will find a place in hell please STAND UP!"
The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands
up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what we're
voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me
are the only ones standing for it!"
______________________________________________________
The French Government announced today that it is
imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney.
The decision comes the day after the fireworks
display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris,
caused soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to
surrender to a group of Czech tourists who had gotten
lost and wound up in the army garrison instead of at
Euro-Disney.
______________________________________________________
Patagonia From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
NY principal who was fired for being always
late, was 88 days late for appealing the firing.
Marcella Sills
Far Rockaway,
New York.
The city fired Sills in February from her $128,000-a-year
gig at PS 106 in Far Rockaway after
The Post exposed her out-of-control tardiness.
Infamous “School of No” Principal Marcella Sills, who was
fired for excessive lateness, is tardy again — filing a
lawsuit to get her job back months after the legal deadline.
This, when PS 106 earned the “School of No” moniker because
it had nothing — no books, no gym
or art classes, no nurse’s office, no special-ed teachers,
no books for the Common Core
curriculum.
Yet now she’s suing for reinstatement — noting that her
union contract never specified what
time she was to show for work.
The hooky-playing Sills cheated taxpayers as well as
students at PS 106 in Far Rockway, an arbitrator ruled in
firing her Jan. 22.
The arbitrator slapped Sills for arriving up to several
hours late 178 times between September 2012 and January
2014, but never documented the absences and “committed theft
of time.”
She had 10 days under state law to appeal her termination.
She filed a lawsuit in Manhattan Supreme Court on April 19 —
88 days after the decision.
Her suit contends the city’s contract with principals
doesn’t set a start and end time for a work day, so she
can’t be nailed for lateness.
Her lawyer, Douglas Rosenthal, admitted the filing was
delinquent, but asked the judge to make an exception for
Sills “in the interest of justice.”
The city Law Department declined to comment.
Schools Chancellor Carmen Fariña ousted Sills in February
2014 after The Post exposed her abuses, dubbing PS 106 the
“School of No” because it had lacked basics such as books
for the Common Core curriculum. Instead of gym and art
classes, kids watched movies.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Doug
RE: Mails to be forwarded
Dear Webby
At the bottom is a forwarding type email.
I get this 'type' of email from a young girl(13 - cousin-in-
law).
I don't mind them too much.
They never work.
I was wondering if you know what is so hot about them?
They are vastly 'forwarded'.
What's the appeal?
take care,
Doug
---------
.....To find out what was inside the container you must
fprward this to at least 10 people...
-------
Dear Doug
13 year olds often like to behave like little smartass
pranksters. Sometimes, some of them like that so much,
that they never reach the relative maturity expected of a
14 year old.
By the way, there is absolutely no point in writing to the
originators of those pranks and telling them that they are
not going to see a box, and not going to get a check from
Bill Gates or anybody.
Doing that would be like trying to teach a pig to sing.
It hurts the ears, and it annoys the pig.
In case you do want to hit back with an appropriate chain
letter, I wrote the Fert Club page in 1994. Just send them
the URL:
http://webby.com/
humor/fert.html
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living
in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner.
Shirley says, "Abe, darling, do you want me to wear this
Chanel suit or the Gucci?"
Abe says, "Do I care?"
A few minutes later Shirley says, "Abe, should I wear my
Cartier watch or my Rolex?"
Abe says, "Who cares?"
A few more minutes pass and Shirley says, "Abe, love, shall
I wear my five-carat pear diamond ring or my six-carat round
diamond ring with the baguettes?"
Abe says, "Shirley, I really don't care what you wear, but
if you don't get moving, we're going to miss the Early Bird
Special."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Individual Chocolate Cakes
By Becky Miles [100 Posts, 151 Comments]
This is taken from Nigella Lawson's recipe for
Chocohotopots. (I made a few changes). They are delicious
and quick to whip up. My picky kids can't wait for these to
come out of the oven. Definitely a keeper!
cake with ice cream
Approximate Time: 10 minutes to make, 20-25 minutes to cook
Yield: 4 cakes
Ingredients:
1 stick of butter (8 tablespoons)
4 oz semisweet chocolate, chopped (I just use half a cup of
chocolate chips)
2 eggs
3/4 cup sugar
3 Tbsp flour
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp of instant coffee dissolved in 1 teaspoon of hot
water
Steps:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Butter 4 ramekins with an extra tablespoon of butter.
Melt chocolate and butter. Cool a little (a few minutes).
chocolate melted with butter
In separate bowl, combine eggs, sugar, flour, vanilla, salt,
and dissolved coffee.
mixing dry ingredients with eggs and coffee
Add chocolate mixture to the bowl. Stir til combined. Pour
into ramekins.
pour batter into ramekins
The original recipe says to bake for 20 minutes. But, it's a
little too gooey and under-cooked to serve to my kids. I
bake them for 25-28 minutes, til there's no jiggle and the
cakes are more set.
out of the oven
When the cakes come out, you can add some chocolate to the
middle or if you like to live dangerously, a spoonful of
Nutella. Ice cream is really good on it, too.
Let cakes cool for about 10 minutes, so no one gets burned.
Enjoy!
Source: Nigella Lawson's Chocohotopots
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Two Iranians meet in California. One starts to greet the
other in Farsi,the language of their native country.
The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and
said, "We're in California now. Speak Spanish!"
___________________________________________________
| dog loves his favorite song
|
____________________________________________________
A little son of a Lutheran minister was in church one
morning when he saw for the first time the rite of baptism.
He was greatly interested in it, and the next morning
proceeded to baptize his three cats in the bathtub.
The first kitten bore it very well, and so did the young
cat, but the old family cat rebelled. It struggled, clawed
and tore at him, and got away.
With considerable effort he caught it again and proceeded
with the ceremony. But she acted worse than ever, clawed
at him, spit, and scratched his hands and face.
Finally, after barely getting her splattered after chasing
her with a casserole filled with water, he disgustedly
declared: "Fine, be a Casserole Baptist !"
____________________________________________________
One day a mother was explaining to her young son
that you should never tell a lie. She told him that God
saw everything and heard everything.
She explained, "Even though your father and I may
not know if you are telling a lie God will know."
The young son replied, "But will He tell?"
____________________________________________________
| Miss America 1924
|
Today on May 14
1264 Baron's War fought in England
1607 1st permanent English settlement in New World, Jamestown VA
1664 Turkish great Köprülü attacks 120,000 Donau soldiers
1767 British government disbands Americans import duty on tea
1787 Delegates gather in Philadelphia to draw up US constitution
1796 1st smallpox inoculation administered, by Edward Jenner
1804 Lewis & Clark set out from St Louis for the Pacific Coast
1862 Adolphe Nicole of Switzerland patents the chronograph
1894 Fire in the Boston bleachers spreads to 170 adjoining buildings
1908 1st passenger flight in an airplane
1921 Florence Allen is 1st woman judge to sentence a man to death
1932 "We Want Beer!" parade in New York
1940 Netherlands surrender to Germany
1945 Kamikaze-Zero strikes US aircraft carrier Enterprise
1945 US offensive on Okinawa, Sugar Loaf conquered
1948 Jordan's Arab League captures Atarot, north of Jerusalem
1948 PM David Ben-Gurion establishes State of Israel
1948 US grants Israel de facto recognition
1955 Warsaw Pact is signed by the Soviet Union, Albania, Bulgaria,
Czechoslovakia, East Germany, Hungary, Poland & Romania
1969 Abortion & contraception legalized in Canada
1969 Last Chevrolet Corvair built
1973 Skylab launched, the 1st Space Station
1974 Symbionese Liberation Army destroyed in shoot-out, 6 killed
1976 Oil tanker Urqui Ola explodes off Spanish coast
Since 1897: Ireland : Feis Ceoil music festival
2016 smiled.
|
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What to do when you can't move icons Friday, May 13, 2016, 10:20 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, May 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Friday, the 13th !
Be careful! It is bad luck to be superstitious!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Georgia woman who was arrested for having an orgy with
under-age youths.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 13, in
1110 Crusaders march into Beirut causing a bloodbath
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is
bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have
gone wrong.
--- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936)
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
--- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone.
"Is this the SPCA?"
"Yes."
"I want you to send somebody over right away."
"What's wrong?"
"There's a horrid magazine salesman sitting in a tree
teasing my dog."
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A woman sees a beautiful tennis bracelet in a jewelry store
window. She goes in and asks the clerk if a small deposit
will hold it until she catches her husband at something
proportionaltely unforgivable.
______________________________________________________
Justin, 10, had been ill, requiring several doctors' visits
and tests before a specialist came up with the final
diagnosis and treatment. Afterwards, his mother asked him if
he understood what the doctor had explained to him.
"No," replied Justin, "not really."
"Okay," his mother replied, "the doctor said you started
with a virus..."
At which point Justin interrupted to ask, "Does that mean I
need a new hard drive ?"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
a Georgia woman who was arrested for having
an orgy with under-age youths.
Rachel Lenhardt
35,
Evans,
Georgia
An Evans woman opened up to her Alcoholic Anonymous sponsor
and ended up in jail based partly on what she revealed about
an underage party and sex romp at her home, according to
authorities.
Rachel Lenhardt, 35, was charged Monday with two counts of
contributing to the delinquency of a minor for allegedly
providing marijuana and alcohol to minors at her home on
Whitney Pass in Evans.
The sponsor told investigators that she was recently asked
to help Lenhardt, so she asked her over for coffee on April
10 to talk about Lenhardt’s plans for sobriety and such.
Lenhardt informed her she was four days sober since April 6
when she lost custody of her five children ages 4, 6, 8, 10
and 16. Lenhardt told her that an emergency hearing was
conducted this month when her kids were taken away from her
due to an incident that occurred at her house.
According to a sheriff’s report, Lenhardt gave her sponsor
this account of the party:
Her kids were with their father one night when her 16-year-
old daughter texted her and asked if her and some friends
could come over “to party.” Lenhardt replied “come on, let`s
party.” Lenhardt allowed her teen daughter and her friends
to smoke marijuana and drink her alcohol in her home. The
group of minors and her played naked Twister in the living
room.
Lenhardt had sex with an 18 year old in the bathroom while
the others continued to play Twister. Lenhardt told her
sponsor she was still “horny” afterward so she brought her
sex toys out in the living room and began to use them on
herself in front of the group.
The group and Lenhardt then got in her hot tub naked where
the party continued. Lenhardt said she was asleep in her bed
and woke up around 3:30 a.m. when she felt someone having
sex with her. She thought it was the 18-year-old but
realized it was her daughter’s 16-year-old boyfriend. The
daughter later told her mother that she felt guilty because
the boyfriend’s 10-inch penis was too large for her and he
needed to have sex so he used the mother instead.
Lenhardt also told her sponsor that she had shown her
daughter pornographic photos, including photos of her and
her current boyfriend having sex.
The sponsor told investigators that Lenhardt has opened up
about being a sexual deviant and porn addict.
Sheriff’s Capt. Steve Morris said this week’s arrest of
Lenhardt is based partially on the account given to them by
the AA sponsor. He said no sexual crime charges were being
filed because 16 is the legal age of consent.
AA apparently is not anonymous and confidential in Georgia.
Her picture looks very familiar, as if I had given her or
her sister a bonehead award already.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Marifay
RE: Icons can't be moved
Dear Webby
Sure hope you can help me with this problem,
I can no longer click on to the icons on my desk top
and move them .When I do they zip right back to
where they were.For some reason they have all
moved to the left side of my desk top and cant be
moved. Can you help me with this?
Marifay
Dear Marifay
Rightclick an empty spot on the desktop, select
ARRANGE ICONS BY
and take the checkmark off from AUTO ARRANGE
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fix Reel Mower Treads
By MITCH [17 Posts, 7 Comments]
My "Weed-eater" reel mower is 5 1/2 years old, and it shows.
But if the plastic wheel treads won't dig in against the
resistance of the grass, then it's over. That's probably by
design to make us toss 'em sooner and buy new!
Here's a simple solution to planned obsolescence. Find a few
tiny wood screws, enough to go around both wheels (4 or 5
each) and screw into treads at thickest places. Not too deep
or they'll scrape metal below and slow or stop machine.
Especially for self propelled mowers, better than "tiny wood
screws" are fat hex head sheet metal screws like are used
to mount metal roofing. They have wide shoulders that sit
flush on the plstic wheels and don't get torn out. You can
get a socket for them and an adapter to fit into any drill.
You can do both driving wheels in a couple of minutes.
Then it will pull you along instead of you pushing it. I had
to do that on my 26" YardWorks mower and it madea huge
difference.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Bubba met with the mayor to talk about him using his good
influence to help Bubba get the new construction contract.
The mayor agreed.
Bubba said, "To show my appreciation for all the things
you've done for our town, I want to present you with a
brand new Cadillac. It's loaded! It has everything!
Here you go. Here are the keys."
The mayor, "Now, Bubba, you know that I can't accept that!"
Bubba said, "Oh, yeah, right! Gift limits and all that!
Here! I'll sell it to you for half a dollar!"
The mayor said, "Okay, Bubba," and gave him a 5 dollar bill.
Bubba grinned as he pocketed the bill, "Oops! I don't have
change!".
The mayor just shrugged and said,
"That's okay. I'll just take ten of those half dollar
Cadillacs."
___________________________________________________
| the kid wanted to be baptized :D
|
____________________________________________________
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to
the point - he really never said too much.
One day, a saleswoman knocked his door and asked to
see his wife, so he told her that she wasn't home.
"Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?"
The man wordlessly directed her to the bench on the
porch and left her there while he continued with some
yardwork.
After 3 hours she got quite worried and called out for him
and asked, "May I know where your wife is?"
"At the cemetery," he replied.
"And when is she coming?"
"I don't really know," he said.
Then she asked "When did she go there ?"
"About eleven years ago"
____________________________________________________
I asked a new temp once how she liked working for the
manager of the Facilities Division. She replied, "Well, he's
OK I guess. But he sure is bigoted."
Somewhat taken aback, I said, "Rose that's a very serious
allegation. Exactly what do you mean by 'bigoted' ?"
She replied, "Well, for one thing, he thinks words can only
be spelled one way."
____________________________________________________
| Ghost towns fascinate me. Wouldn’t you like to know the people who lived there in its heyday?
|
Today on May 13
1110 Crusaders march into Beirut causing a bloodbath
1568 Mary Queen of Scots is defeated by English
1588 King Henri III flees Paris
1607 - An expedition led by Captain Christopher Newport arrived at
Jamestown, Virginia. The passengers went ashore the next day and this
site became the first permanent settlement English colony in America.
1637 Cardinal Richelieu of France creates the table knife to
reduce the number of fatal and messy arguments at his table
1654 Venetian fleet under Admiral Adeler beats Turkish
1779 - The War of Bavarian Succession ended.
1787 - Captain Arthur Phillip left Britain for Australia. He
successfully landed eleven ships full of convicts on January 18,
1788, at Botany Bay. The group moved north eight days later and
settled at Port Jackson.
1828 US passes Tariff of Abominations
1821 - The first practical printing press was patented in the
U.S. by Samuel Rust.
1846 - The U.S. declared that war existed with Mexico.
1861 - Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War.
1865 - The last land engagement of the American Civil War was fought
at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in far south Texas, more than a month
after Gen. Lee's surrender at Appomattox, VA.
1873 - Ludwig M. Wolf patented the sewing machine lamp holder.
1880 - Thomas Edison tested his experimental electric railway in
Menlo Park.
1888 - Slavery was abolished in Brazil.
1897 - Guglielmo Marconi sent the world's first wireless
communication over open sea.
1913 - Igor Sikorsky (Russia) flew the first four engine aircraft.
1917 - Near Fatima, Portugal, three peasant children reported
seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary.
1918 - The first airmail postage stamps were issued with airplanes
on them. The denominations were 6, 16, and 24 cents.
1927 - "Black Friday" occurred in Germany.
1949 - The first gas turbine to pump natural gas was installed in
Wilmar, AR.
1954 - U.S. President Eisenhower signed into law the St. Lawrence
Seaway Development Act.
1958 - French troops took control of Algiers.
1958 - U.S. Vice President Nixon's limousine was battered by rocks
thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators in Caracas, Venezuela.
1968 - Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began in Paris.
1975 - Hailstones the size of tennis balls hit Wenerville, TN.
1985 - A confrontation between Philadelphia authorities and the
radical group MOVE ended as police dropped an explosive onto the
group's headquarters. Eleven people died in the fire that resulted.
1998 - India did a second round of nuclear tests. The first round had
been done 2 days earlier. Within hours the U.S. and Japan imposed
tough economic sanctions. India claimed that the tests were necessary
to maintain India's national security.
1999 - In Moscow, the impeachment of Russian President Boris Yeltsin
began.
2003 - The U.S. government unveiled a newly designed version of the
$20 bill. It was the first to be colorized in an effort to stop
counterfeiters.
2016 smiled.
|
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Thursday, May 12, 2016, 07:42 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 12
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
naked Florida woman arrested in street wearing only
black boots and assaulting senior and deputy.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 11, in
1096 The Jews of Regensburg, who resisted forced conversion,
were killed
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.
--- Cyril Connolly (1903 - 1974)
Aristotle taught that the brain exists merely to
cool the blood and is not involved in the process
of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
--- Will Cuppy (1884-1949)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President
of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it
to his wife for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him,
"Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president
of prunes at the grocery store!"
"I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not,
Tom decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answered and Tom said, "Can I please talk to the
Vice President of prunes?"
The clerk replied, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
With THIS LINK you get 50%
off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Two mothers are talking about a friend who has just given
birth to triplets.
"You know, that only happens one in 120,000 times," says
one.
"Amazing," says the other. "How did she ever find time to
do any housework?"
______________________________________________________
Jane was selling tickets at the movie house when she got a
phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?"
Jane said, "Nine dollars."
She said, "How much for children?"
Jane said, "Same price, nine dollars."
She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children."
Jane said, "OK, you come to the movie
- put the kids on a plane."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Kelly Marie Carpenter,
51,
Rio Ponderosa Village,
Florida
naked Florida woman arrested in street wearing only
black boots and assaulting senior and deputy.
A Villager has been jailed on $10,000 bond following her
arrest after she was found naked in the street wearing
nothing but a pair of black boots.
A couple had been driving their car down Estrada Place in
the Village of Rio Ponderosa at 6:30 p.m. Saturday when they
encountered 51-year-old Kelly Marie Carpenter standing
naked
in the middle of the street, according to an arrest report
from the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office. When their vehicle
approached her, she started beating on it with her fists.
The man driving the car rolled down the window because he
feared she would break it. When the man, who is over the age
of 90, rolled down the window, she struck him in the
shoulder while she was screaming incoherently.
The couple, afraid of what harm she might inflict, drove
around the corner and called law enforcement.
When a deputy arrived, Carpenter was still standing in the
street, surrounded by household items. When the deputy
approached her, Carpenter threw a plastic spray bottle at
the deputy and used vulgar language, the report indicated.
“I’m naked, arrest me,” she said, according to the report.
She then hit the deputy in the waist with a windshield
squegee.
When the deputy handcuffed Carpenter and put her in the back
of a patrol car, she kicked the door, resulting in damage
to the locking mechanism of the door.
She is facing charges of battery on a law enforcement
officer, battery on a person over the age of 65, simple
assault on a person over the age of 65 and indecent
exposure.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Den
RE: Winzip naggers
Dear Webby
My computer keeps receiving notices to upgrade WINZIP for
$39 or $49 to update my computer.
Should I be purchasing this?
Den
Dear Denise
If you are using Winzip once a month or more often, then it
would be good and proper to get the paid version. However,
if you are using it just once or twice a year, continue
using the free evaluation version, or else get the free 7-
zip.
Since you are using Gmail, you can easily make a filter to
send their monthly naggers straight to spam or trash.
Get comfortable with making filters!
Whenever something annoys you, make a filter.
Don't get mad, filter it to hell.
Filters are for more than just MILs and Nigerian scammers!
Since all zip files in email are scams or viruses or
trojans, I have filtered them to hell with MailWasher for
many years. So far no legitimate sender complained.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Bacon Pancake
By Robin [5,891 Posts, 29 Comments]
I like this just because it's a different kind of pancake
recipe and I love the bacon!
Ingredients:
1/2 - 1 lb. bacon
2 cups milk
1 tsp. salt
4 eggs
1 1/4 cups flour
Directions:
Cut bacon in small pieces and fry in pan. Place bacon pieces
in pan (9x13 inches) and enough of the bacon fat to cover
pan bottom generously. Beat egg; add salt, milk, and flour
alternately. Mix well and pour over bacon. Bake in 400
degree F oven for 30-40 minutes or until set and brown.
Serve at once with butter, strawberry jam, or syrup. Makes 4
generous servings.
Servings:4
Prep Time:15 Minutes
Cooking Time:30-40 Minutes
By Robin from Washington, IA
If you are in a hurry, you can use Costco
or Hormel crumbled bacon and mix it in with the dough.
If you want to cut back on flour, mash in a couple of
bananas instead. Don't forget a bit of baking soda to make
them light and fluffy.
You can do them in 2 x 60 seconds on a griddle or frying
pan.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's computer.
She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
-------------
Every tech support person knows people like that.
___________________________________________________
| the kid wanted to be baptized :D
|
____________________________________________________
Three churches - Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian
worked together to sponsor a community-wide revival.
After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were
discussing the results with one another.
The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great
for us! We gained 4 new families."
The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We
gained 6 new families."
The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better
than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!"
____________________________________________________
When Judy arrived for her daughter's parent-teacher
conference, the teacher seemed a bit flustered, especially
when she started telling her that her little girl didn't
always pay attention in class and was sometimes a little
flighty.
"For example, she'll do the wrong page in the workbook," the
teacher explained, "and I've even found her sitting at the
wrong desk."
"I don't understand," Judy replied defensively.
"Where could she have gotten that?"
The teacher went on to reassure Judy that her daughter
was still doing fine in school and was sweet and likable.
Finally, after a pause, she added, "By the way, your
appointment was actually scheduled for tomorrow."
____________________________________________________
| Highlights from Nat Geo’s 2016 Travel Photographer of the Year Contest
|
Today on May 12
0254 St Stephan I replaces Lucius I as Catholic Pope
1096 The Jews of Regensburg, who resisted forced conversion, were killed
1551 San Marcos University in Lima Peru, opens
1733 Maria Theresa crowned queen of Bohemia in Prague
1777 1st ice cream advertisement (Philip Lenzi-New York
Gazette)
1792 Toilet that flushes itself at regular intervals is
patented
1835 Charles Darwin visits copper mines in North Chile
1885 Battle of Batoche, French Canadians rebel against
Canada
1925 Uzbekistan & Kirgizistan become autonomous Soviet
republics
1928 Mussolini ends woman's rights in Italy
1928 Opium laws enforced in USA
1940 Nazi blitz conquest of France began by crossing Meuse
River
1942 1,500 Jews gassed in Auschwitz
1943 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrives in US
1944 900+ 8th Air Force bombers attack Zwikau, Bohlen &
Brüx
1949 West begins Berlin Airlift to get supplies around
Soviet blockade
1951 1st H Bomb test, on Enewetak Atol
1980 1st nonstop crossing of US via balloon (Maxie Anderson
& son Chris)
1997 Russia & Chechnya sign peace deal after 400 years of
conflict
1997 Susie Maroney, 22, of Australia, is 1st to swim from
Cuba to Florida
1997 Tornado narrowly misses downtown Miami
2016 smiled.
|
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Is Verizon really going to use AOL mail ? Wednesday, May 11, 2016, 06:47 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, May 11
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to the
Mayor of Frankfort Village, NY. He was arrested for stealing
111 road signs from the state and giving them to his village.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 11, in
1189 Emperor Frederik I Barbarossa & 100,000 crusaders depart
Regensburg
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Few people can see genius in someone
who has offended them.
--- Robertson Davies
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning
experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid
I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less
stupid.
--- P. J. O'Rourke
If you want to cut down on the number of relatives who are
hanging around, borrow money from the rich ones and lend
money to the ones who are poor. You will never see any of
them again.
--- Socratex
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Doug and Bill were at the racetrack.
Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the
track tells the government."
Bill says, "Well it could be worse."
Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the
government you won $600."
Bill sighs, "Telling your wife."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A plane took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announ-
cement over the intercom,
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome
to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles.
The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a
smooth and uneventful flight. Sit back and relax - OH NO!"
Silence.
After a moment, the captain came back on the intercom and
said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you
earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant
brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in
my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. You should see
the back of mine!"
______________________________________________________
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing
his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He
greeted her with a hug and a long kiss, and gave her another
hug and an even longer kiss when he left.
Later, the wife's roommate commented: "Your pastor is sure
friendlier than mine."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Frank Moracco,
60,
Frankfort Village,
NY
Frankfort NY mayor arrested for stealing 111 road signs
Apparently, no one saw the signs.
A mayor in upstate New York is facing criminal charges for
allegedly stealing 111 road signs from the state’s Department
of Transportation, according to WKTV.com.
New York State Police arrested Frank Moracco Monday on charges
of misconduct and petit larceny.
Both charges are Class “A” misdemeanors, according to
CNYCentral.com.
Moracco, 60, has served as the mayor of Frankfort Village
since 2004, and has worked as a sign shop foreman for the
state’s Department of Transportation since 2001, Syracuse.com
reports.
Police started investigating Moracco in July of 2015 after
getting a tip from someone in the town, New York State Police
spokesman Jack Keller told The Huffington Post.
They said he took 111 road signs made at the shop and gave
them to the Village of Frankfort Street Department, according
to the Utica Observer-Dispatch.
“There were a variety of signs, including yield and stop
signs,” Keller told HuffPost. “A village usually has to apply
to get signs and then pay a fee. [Moracco] bypassed that
process.”
Moracco was issued an appearance ticket for the charges and is
due in Frankfort Town Court May 3.
It is unknown what has happened to the road signs allegedly
stolen by Moracco. Neither he, the Frankfort Village Street
Department nor the New York State Police have responded to
inquiries from HuffPost.
Frankfort Village clerk Karlee Tamburro told the Observer-
Dispatch that the village has no comment on the situation, but
that Moracco will continue to serve as mayor.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Eno
RE: Verizon and AOL mail
Dear Webby
Is it true that Verizon bought AOL because AOL knows how to
deal with people upset about mail not working? Did they buy
all of AOL, or just the mail part?
Eno
Dear Eno
Yes, apparently they did. They want to focus on phones and
the use of phones to get onto the Internet, and are tired
of getting yelled at about email problems.
Initially the switch is just for some regions to test how
well AOL can handle the email for Verizon customers.
There is no need to panic. You can still continue to use
Gmail, set it to POP and then use Eudora, Thunderbird or
even Outlook to take care of your email.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded
up Jack's station wagon and headed north. After driving for
a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They
pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive
lady of the house if they could spend the night.
"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the
neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Not to worry," Jack said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."
Nine months later, Jack got a letter from the widow's
attorney. He called up his friend Bob and said,
"Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm
we stayed at?"
"Yes, I do."
"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up
to the house and have sex with her?"
"Yes, I have to admit that I did."
"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your
name, and leave her one of my business cards ?"
Bob's face turns red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."
"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Black Rubber Marks on Laminate Floors
By Nick Rous [1 Comment]
Use lighter fuel on a piece of kitchen towel. The marks come
of immediately. No elbow grease required!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer,
while a telephone repairman worked nearby. One preacher
claimed, "Kneeling is definitely best."
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing
with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective
prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey,
fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did
was hanging by my climbing spurs upside down from a
telephone pole in a thunder and lightning storm."
___________________________________________________
| watch for the bird - so cool
|
____________________________________________________
One night a father was helping his son with his homework.
The father asked, "What is the Gross National Product?"
His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"
__________________________________________________
Thanks to Judy for this one:
At the company where I work, the other operators and I
share a coffeepot. One morning I took it into the ladies
room to fill it with water. Then I began preening in the
mirror, brushing my hair and reapplying some makeup.
I didn't realize how long I'd been until someone slid a note
under the door.
"You win," it read. Any ransom demand will be met. Just
release the coffeepot, re-filled please, if the water has gone
stale."
____________________________________________________
| Sculptures that defy gravity
|
Today on May 11
1189 Emperor Frederik I Barbarossa & 100,000 crusaders depart Regensburg
1330 Constantinople (Istanbul) becomes new capital
for Eastern Roman Empire
1421 Jews are expelled from Styria
1751 1st US hospital founded (Pennsylvania Hospital)
1752 1st US fire insurance policy issued (Philadelphia)
1792 Columbia River discovered & named by US Captain Robert Gray
1812 Waltz introduced into English ballrooms - Most observers
consider it disgusting & immoral. No wonder it caught on!
1814 Americans defeat British at Battle of Plattsburgh
1818 Cincinnati Reds Hod Eller no-hits St Louis Cardinals, 6-0
1833 "Lady-of-the-Lake" strikes iceberg & sinks in N Atlantic; kills 215
1850 Work starts on 1st brick building in San Fransisco
1916 Einstein's Theory of General Relativity presented
1921 Tel Aviv is 1st all Jewish municipality
1928 General Electric opens 1st TV-station (Schenectady NY)
1929 1st regularly scheduled TV broadcasts (3 nights per week)
1931 Credit-Anstalt, Austria's largest bank, fails
beginning financial collapse of Central Europe
1942 Japanese troops conquer Kalewa
1943 US 7th division lands on Attu, Aleutian
1947 BF Goodrich manufactures 1st tubeless tire, Akron OH
1949 1st Polaroid camera sold $89.95 (NYC)
1951 Jay Forrester patents computer core memory
1955 Israel attacks Gaza
1962 US sends troops to Thailand
1967 100,000,000th US phone connected
1978 Margaret A Brewer is 1st female general in the US Marine Corps
1987 1st heart-lung transplant take place (Baltimore)
1989 President Bush orders nearly 2,000 troops to Panamá
2016 smiled.
|
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Tuesday, May 10, 2016, 08:09 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 10
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Florida woman, who tried to rip off boyfriend's testicles.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 10, in
1267 Vienna's church orders all Jews to wear distinctive garb
1278 Jews of England imprisoned on charges of coining
1427 Jews are expelled from Berne Switzerland
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If knowledge can create problems, it is not through
ignorance that we can solve them.
--- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-
fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading
local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was
chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at
the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic, so the priest
decided to say his own few words while they waited.
"You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional,
can never be broken. However, I got my first impressions of
the parish from the very first confession I heard here. I can
only hint vaguely about this, but when I came here twenty-five
years ago I thought I had been assigned
to a terrible place.
The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he
had stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police,
had almost murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had
stolen money from his parents, embezzled money from his place
of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal
drugs, and given VD to his cousin.
I was appalled, but as the days went on I came to realize that
my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a
fine parish full of understanding and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived
full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make
the presentation and give his talk...
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in
this parish," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor
of being the first one to go to him in confession."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Lawyer: "Now would you please tell the Jury the truth -
why did you shoot your husband with bow and arrow?"
Defendant : "I didn't want to wake up the children."
______________________________________________________
Two keys hang in an undertaker's office - one for the
organ in the chapel; the other for the garage.
Two small signs above the keys read "Hymn" and "Hearse."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Rosaire Francois,
28
Ellenton,
Florida.
Florida woman busted for battering her beau's
testicles
A woman arrested last night for battering her live-in
boyfriend confessed to cops that she “tried to rip his balls
off” during a confrontation in the couple’s Florida home,
according to a police report.
The victim told investigators that he initially got into a
“verbal altercation” with Rosaire Francois, 28, as they
traveled in a car en route to their apartment in Ellenton.
When the squabbling couple arrived home, the man told police,
he attempted to take a shower. However, the report notes, he
was interrupted by Francois, who “kicked in the bathroom door
and grabbed the victim by his testicles.”
The altercation, police say, “then moved to the kitchen, where
the offender grabbed the victim by the testicles and
scratched
the victim’s face.”
When cops arrived at the home, Francois reportedly made no
bones about her intentions during the domestic scuffle. “I
tried to rip his balls off,” she said, according to police.
Pictured above, Francois was arrested on a misdemeanor
domestic battery charge. She is being held at the Manatee
County jail.
The police report does not indicate whether Francois’s
boyfriend was injured during the testicle attack.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: SHARON
RE: AOL MAIL
From SHARON
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MAIL AT
AOL WHEN YOU DONT EVEN HAVE AN AOL
ACCOUNT.AND MAIL IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT
ANYWAY.SOMEBODY WANTS SOMETHING
BAD ENOUGH,THEY WILL WRITE AGAIN
SHARON
Dear Sharon
For some people mail is important enough to write
to me and inquire what the problem is.
because of the amount of mail I get, I simplify my
chores and if the question on a repetitive topic is the
same, I paste the same reply.
here is the one I use most:
---------------------
Dear
You are still on the list and the Humor Letter DID
go out to you. Unfortunately there is nothing I can
do about the routine AOL malfunctions.
Apparently, to be able to handle all that outgoing spam,
AOL severely restricts incoming mail. Most likely
your Humor Letter got tagged as spam and was
censored. That seems to happen a lot at AOL lately.
If you can't get AOL to stop messing with your mail,
you could try using a Gmail account on the side.
In the meantime, you can always browse to
http://webby.com/humor/
Humor Letter
and see what was sent out to you,
but not delivered by AOL.
----------------------
By the way, that is the only "canned" response that I use.
All other mail is answered individually.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A pair of senators met for lunch to hash out their
political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one
angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted.
"Of course I'm lying," the other said, "I'm a senator.
So you've got to hear me out!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Black Rubber Marks on Laminate Floors
By Nick Rous [1 Comment]
Use lighter fuel on a piece of kitchen towel. The marks come
of immediately. No elbow grease required!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses
advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she
said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an
abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be
condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open
letter to Dr. Laura penned by an east coast resident. It's
funny, AND informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When
someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example,
I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it
to
be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from
you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and
how to follow them:
1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem
is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to
them. Should I smite them?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you
think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she
is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24.
The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most
women take offense.
4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to
Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own
Canadians?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath..
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is
an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there
some wiggle room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting
two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread
(cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme
a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble
of
getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
affair
like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that
God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted fan, Jim.
___________________________________________________
| That ONE moment!
|
____________________________________________________
In Mike's work for a cable-television company, he often
encounters illegal hookups that drive up costs for other
customers. One day he arrived at a repair job just as the
homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the
way to the den, where the TV was located, and then walked
out to get the mail.
As Mike approached the TV, he saw a note taped to
the screen.
It read: "Don't forget to hide the descramblers before the
cable guy comes. Love, Tom."
__________________________________________________
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a
lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and
showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins
with the letter `M' and I pick up things. What am I?"
A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother."
____________________________________________________
| Who would have thought a salt mine could be so beautiful.
|
Today on May 10
1267 Vienna's church orders all Jews to wear distinctive garb
1278 Jews of England imprisoned on charges of coining
1427 Jews are expelled from Berne Switzerland
1497 Italian navigator Amerigo Vespucci leaves for
1st voyage to New World
1503 Columbus discovers Cayman Islands
1534 French navigator Jacques Cartier reaches Newfoundland
1655 Jamaica captured by English
1752 Benjamin Franklins 1st tests the lightning rod
1797 1st Navy ship, the "United States" is launched
1823 1st steamboat to navigate the Mississippi River arrives
at Fort Snelling
1908 1st Mother's Day observed (Philadelphia)
1910 1st aircraft air display held (Hendon, England)
1933 Paraguay declares war on Bolivia
1940 French troops arrive in Zealand/Brabant Netherlands
1940 Nazi armies invade the Benelux countries of Netherlands,
Belgium & Luxembourg
1941 Adolf Hitler's deputy Rudolf Hess parachutes into
Scotland
1941 England's House of Commons & Holborn Theater
destroyed in a blitz
1944 Chinese offensive in West-Yunnan
1945 Allies capture Rangoon from the Japanese
1945 A week after Germany surrendered, Russian troops
occupy Prague
1948 1st attack by Egyptian irregular forces at Kfar Darom
Israel
1959 Soviet forces arrive in Afghanistan
1960 US atomic sub USS Triton completes 1st circumnavigation
of globe under water
1968 Vietnam peace talks began in Paris between the US &
North Vietnam
1969 Apollo 10 transmit 1st color pictures of Earth from space
1969 US troops begin attack on Hill 937/Hamburger Hill
1994 Nelson Mandela sworn in as South Africa's 1st
black president
2016 smiled.
|
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( 3 views )
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How to open an email attachment Monday, May 9, 2016, 10:34 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 9
Thank you, Nancy!
Ft McPherson Heroes Click through for full size picture
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Florida siblings charged with DUI
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 9, in
1671: Thomas "Captain" Blood stole the crown jewels from the
Tower of London.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his
sister does.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
Start by doing what's necessary,
then do what's possible,
and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
--- Saint Francis of Assisi
Always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you
don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself.
--- Richard Nixon
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A two-year-old daughter was with her mother while her older
sister was being examined by a dentist. The two-year-old
kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room
until she noticed that her mom was resting, with her eyes
closed.
With about six other patients waiting, the child toddled up
to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her
shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not
church!"
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
"Your honor," a defense attorney began, "I have a series of
witnesses that can testify that Mr. Johnson was nowhere near
the scene of the crime when it occurred."
The judge looked at the defense table and said,
"This is the third time you've been in this court room this
week, and I'm getting sick of hearing your lies."
The defendant stood up with a confused expression and said,
"Your honor, you must be mistaken. I've never been here in my
life."
Waving his finger, the judge replied,
"I was referring to your lawyer."
______________________________________________________
The temperature had taken an overnight plunge, and
Minnesota reaffirmed its reputation as one of the nation's
coldest states.
Despite a wind-chill of minus 40, the steelworkers
erecting a TV tower in a Minneapolis-St. Paul suburb
showed up for work. By 9 a.m., a tall Texan climbed down
from the tower and entered the construction trailer. He took
his lunch pail from the shelf and headed for the door.
"What's up?" the foreman asked. "You sick?"
"Nope," the Texan replied. "Goin' home to get my jacket."
"Where's home?" the foreman persisted.
"Dallas," he said.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to dad for this picture
These bloomed today
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Josue Moncada, 31,
Ercilia Moncada, 41,
Ocala,
Florida.
Florida siblings charged with DUI
A 41-woman and her 31-year-old brother were arrested by
Florida Highway Patrol troopers and charged with DUI Friday
morning.
Officials said they received a bulletin to be on the lookout
for a reckless driver traveling southbound on Interstate 75
and a trooper spotted the vehicle and was able to stop it on
State Road 200 east of Southwest 43rd Street Road. While
talking with the driver, later identified as Josue Moncada,
the trooper detected alcohol and arrested him on a DUI
charge at 2:55 a.m.
Minutes later, Moncada's sister, Ercilia Moncada, arrived at
the incident location and argued with the trooper about why
he was arresting her brother.
Another trooper was called to the location and while talking
with her, found her to be impaired. After their
investigation, she was also arrested on a DUI charge at 3:18
a.m. and placed in second trooper's cruiser.
The first trooper left the scene to take Moncada's brother
to the Marion County Jail, leaving the second trooper and
the woman behind. The woman, who was handcuffed, managed to
escape, but was later captured in the 2300 block of
Southeast 19th Circle.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ray
RE: How to open email attachments
Dear Webby,
I am receiving e-mails with attachments and can not open
them. When I click on the attachment the "window" is not
highlighted and nothing happens. What can I do?
Thank you,
Ray
Dear Ray
I realize that as far as email is concerned, because I
use Eudora, I am leading a very sheltered life.
Personally I have not seen that problem yet, but I have
been using email for only about 23 years.
Find out where your attachments are saved to. All the
better email programs let you set that destination. If
yours doesn't, copy the name of the attachment and do a
search for it with "SearchEverything", or if you have a
lot of time, with the Windows Search. Once you have found
that location, you should see the extension, the part of
the file name after the dot.
If it is jpg, gif, or png, it is a picture and usually
quite safe.
If it is mid, mp3, mp4 or wav, it is sound or video and
safe too.
If it is pdf or pps, then it is a PDF file or a
presentation. Those are usually safe too.
If it is DOC or DOCX or XLS or XLSX, then it is from
Microsoft Office and it COULD be safe, or it could be
extremely dangerous. Check those with a good and reliable
virus checker like McAfee.
If the file is .zip, dump it fast.
Once upon a time .zip was used to compress files or to
deliver collections of files over slow internet
connections. Nowadays only scammers use .zip files in
emails. Dump those.
Once you have made sure the attachment file is safe,
hit it in the search or go after it with the file
explorer.
Windows will probably tell you the same as your email
program did, that no program is assigned to work with
that stuff, but it will let you assign a program and give
you some choices.
If you don't see any usable choices, then you will have
to install a suitable program. Just google for
"program to open .xxx" where xxx is the extension of
that attachment file. Just pick a free one from a
reputable source and install it.
During the installation that program will offer to be
your default program for opening xxx and a few other
types of files. Once that has been assigned, try your
email again, and it will open the attachment just like it
is supposed to.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Walking downtown one day, I noticed that a music store had
just opened. Inside the shop, my attention was caught by a
huge Oriental gong, and I went up to take a closer look.
The gong was four feet in diameter. On a rope next to it
hung a two-foot-long mallet with a top the size of a soft-
ball. A piece of notebook paper bearing one word in large
letters was taped to the center of the gong.
The word was "NO!"
----------------
That reminds me....
During my University days we had two types of students,
"Commuter" and "Party-Town". I was a "Commuter", mainly
because I had a 5PM to 1AM night job across the nearby
border, and only lived 10 miles from the University.
"Party-Towners" were the residents of the dorms, frat and
sorry houses within walking distance of the University.
Since Party-Town was half way between my job and home,
and since my bike was a fast but rather chilly ride, I usually
stopped at a sorry-house to warm up. (Sorry-House is
a sorority house, female version of a frat-house, where
you are always greeted with either: "Sorry it's such a mess."
or with "Sorry, not tonight, I have a headache.")
On one of those warm-up stops a lady I knew from one
of my seminars, invited me up to her room to show me
her "Multilingual Talking Clock". Yes, you guessed it,
it was one of those huge brass gongs. When she grabbed
the mallet, I grabbed a couple of pillows. One for each ear.
In that tiny, stone-walled room the noise was still awesome.
A minute later voices from all over the sorry-house drifted
in, all yelling in various different languages something like:
"Kock it off, you airhead! It's 1:45 in the morning!"
What made it really funny was a few hours later, when
we were woken up, ahem, I mean interrupted in our
dilligent studying, by a similar gong echoing through the
building. Maria twisted my wrist to see my watch, and then
screamed:
"Knock it off you airhead! It's 4:50 in the morning!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Substituting Tomato Paste for Tomato Sauce
By Dorothy [2 Posts, 9 Comments]
I often make changes like that, primarily because you get a
better-quality product when you do. Try using 1/2 water (or
stock if you have any) and 1/2 tomato paste. Add a little
Italian seasoning, i.e. basil, oregano, garlic, parsley and
a bit of sugar. Start with 1/4 tsp. of each, taste your
concoction and go from there. Most recipes are not so
finicky that they would suffer from such a change, and the
bonus is that there are no unpronounceable ingredients in
your sauce. Good luck!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
The price of gas has gotten so high in California, that
women who want to run over their husbands have started
carpooling!
___________________________________________________
| Mothers Day Video
|
____________________________________________________
A generously endowed young lady often got teased by
her sisters for being so top-heavy. At a party a young
man asked her what she would like to drink.
"Diet soda, please," she replied.
"Oh, you must be the double D." he said.
The girl was furious, wondering which of her so-called
friends had divulged such personal information.
"And just what do you mean by that?" she snapped.
Surprised at her angry response, the young man meekly
answered, "Oh, you know
-- the Designated Driver."
__________________________________________________
*"If it" office advice*
If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly.
If it clanks, call the repairman.
If it whistles, ignore it.
If it is a friend, take a break.
If it is the boss, look busy.
If it talks, take notes.
If it is handwritten, type it.
If it is typed, copy it.
If it is copied, file it.
If it is Friday, forget it!
____________________________________________________
| You'll be surprised at what this cute little Australian tree frog eats.
|
Today on May 9
1429: Joan of Arc defeated the besieging English at Orleans.
1502: Christopher Columbus left Spain for his final trip to
the Western Hemisphere.
1671: Thomas "Captain" Blood stole the crown jewels from the
Tower of London.
1754: The first newspaper cartoon in America showed a
divided snake "Join or die" in "The Pennsylvania Gazette."
1785: Joseph Bramah patented the beer-pump handle.
1825: The Chatham Theatre opened in New York City. It was
the first gas-lit theater in America.
1901: In Australia, the Duke of Cornwall and York declared
the First Commonwealth Parliament open.
1904: The Great Western Railway Number 3440 City of Truro
became the first railway locomotive to exceed 100 miles per
hour.
1915: German and French forces fought the Battle of Artois.
1926: Americans Richard Byrd and Floyd Bennett became the
first men to fly an airplane over the North Pole.
1930: A starting gate was used to start a Triple Crown race
for the first time.
1936: Fascist Italy took Addis Abba and annexed Ethiopia.
1936: The first sheet of postage stamps of more than one
variety went on sale in New York City.
1941: The German submarine U-110 was captured at sea by
Britain's Royal navy.
1945: U.S. officials announced that the midnight
entertainment curfew was being lifted immediately.
1946: King Victor Emmanuel II of Italy abdicated and was
replaced by Umberto.
1955: West Germany joined NATO.
1958: Richard Burton made his network television debut in
the presentation of "Wuthering Heights" on CBS-TV.
1960: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved
for sale an oral birth-control pill for the first time.
1962: A laser beam was successfully bounced off Moon for the
first time.
1974: The House Judiciary Committee began formal hearings on
the Nixon impeachment.
1978: The bullet-riddled body of former Italian Prime
Minister Aldo Moro was found in an automobile in the center
of Rome. The Red Brigades had abducted him.
1980: A Liberian freighter hit the Sunshine Skyway Bridge
over Tampa Bay in Florida. 35 motorists were killed and a
1,400-foot section of the bridge collapsed.
1987: Tom Cruise and Mimi Rogers were married.
1994: Nelson Mandela was chosen to be South Africa's first
black president.
1996: In video testimony to a courtroom in Little Rock, AR,
U.S. President Clinton insisted that he had nothing to do
with a $300,000 loan in the criminal case against his former
Whitewater partners.
2002: In Bethlehem, West Bank, a deal was reached that would
end the 38-day standoff at the Church of the Nativity.
Thirteen suspected militants were to be deported to several
different countries. The standoff had begun on April 2,
2002.
2002: In Kaspiisk, Russia, 39 people were killed and at
least 130 were injured when a remote-controlled bomb
exploded during a holiday parade.
2002: In Bahrain, people were allowed to vote for
representatives for the first time in nearly 30 years. Women
were allowed to vote for the first time in the country's
history.
2016 smiled.
|
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| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 531 )
Sunday, May 8, 2016, 09:20 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 8
Ft McMurray Hero
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh Dad arrested for .6o4 DUI, kids in the backseat
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 8, in
1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary.
They passed through without much resistance.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
--- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
It's harder to make something good when you can't curse all the time.
--- Tina Fey
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Nature has many laws that hold fast and true.
For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape;
likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon.
A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig.
A baby jackass will always become a jackass.
Yet oddly enough, women say a young man may grow-up to
be any one of these.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Katie, an honest seven year old girl, admitted calmly to her
parents that Freddie had kissed her after class.
"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady,
"but Mary and her sisters helped me catch him and held him
down."
______________________________________________________
A Florida officer pulls over old Mrs. Fisher because her
hand signals were confusing.
"Mirs Fisher," he said, "I know that your turn signal has
been stuck on right-turn since you bought that car six years
ago, but now your hand signals are getting a bit too
confusing for us mere mortals to understand. First you put
your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your
hand up and down, then you turn left," said the officer.
"I decided not to turn right," she explains.
"Then why the up and down?" asks the officer.
"Officer," she sniffs, "I was erasing!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Stephen Allbritton,
Estero,
Floriduh
Dad arrested for .6o4 DUI, kids in the backseat
Lee County Sheriff's deputies arrested Stephen Allbritton
Friday morning. They say he was passed out behind the wheel
of his SUV with his kids in the backseat.
Deputies say he was unresponsive and after they took him to
the hospital, doctors found out just how intoxicated he was.
Allbritton's blood alcohol content was measured at .604 --
more than seven times the legal limit.
Allbritton's B.A.C. was so high he was too drunk to take to
jail. Deputies waited seven hours until the level dropped to
around 0.4, and he was arrested for DUI and child neglect.
Neither Allbritton nor his young kids were hurt. The kids
are with their mother.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Margee
RE: History
Dear Webby,
"1998 Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for
the first time in history. The vote would take place in May
2000."
And it only took the Muslims 16 years to vote in a Muslim
mayor.
Hmmm. Why on earth does that sound so UN-democratic??
Margee
Dear Margee
Until 2016 the non-Muslims still outnumbered the Muslims.
Don't worry, the non-Muslims won't have to leave until 2020.
They can go to Syria and Iraq.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Bradley and Michael took a job on a farm to eke out a meager
existence. One day while Bradley was baling hay, he sees
Michael come running up yelling, "Bradley, come quick!
Seamus just fell into the manure pit up to his ankles!"
Bradley was not alarmed in the least. He asked Michael, "If
he's only in up to his ankles, can't he just walk out?"
"No," said Michael, running off again. "Grab a shovel,
and hurry, he fell in head first!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Archive: Removing ink from a wood table
Pour the rubbing alcohol onto the sponge or pad of paper
towels. Make sure the sponge or paper towels are soaked in
the alcohol solution then rub the alcohol-soaked cloth or
towels vigorously into the stain. Rub the stain until the
majority of it is gone or absorbed into your rubbing device.
(12/29/2009)
By ecogirl91304
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Two kids are talking to each other.
One says, "I'm really worried.
Dad works twelve hours a day so that I got a nice house and
lotsa food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and
cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about?
Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid says, "I saw some suitcases. I think they are
trying to escape!"
___________________________________________________
| NASA Video : Earth From Space Real Footage - Video From The International Space Station ISS
|
____________________________________________________
Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two
fellows who had been rivals all their lives followed
different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in
the Navy, the other went into the Catholic Church and became
a Bishop.
As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the Airport.
The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly,
"Oh Porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?"
The Admiral approached, bowed, and said
"Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your
condition ?"
__________________________________________________
In one job my boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent
a memo saying that any paperwork left on desks would be
removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to get
it back.
So we left all our trash paper on our desks every night.
In a week, the boss had an office full of trash, nobody filled
out a retrieval form, and we never heard about that policy
ever again.
____________________________________________________
| Some people just have a little trouble parking.
|
Today on May 8
1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary.
They passed through without much resistance.
1450 Jack Cade's Rebellion-Kentishmen revolted against
King Henry VI.
1541 Hernando de Soto reached the Mississippi River.
He called it Rio de Espiritu Santo.
1794 Antoine Lavoisier was executed by guillotine.
He was the French chemist who discovered oxygen.
1794 The United States Post Office was established.
1846 The first major battle of the Mexican War was fought.
The battle occurred in Palo Alto, TX.
1847 The rubber tire was patented by Robert W. Thompson.
1879 George Selden applied for the first automobile patent.
1886 Pharmacist Dr. John Styth Pemberton invented what
would later be called "Coca-Cola."
1902 Mount Pelee on Martinique erupted and killed over
30,000 people and destroyed the town of St. Pierre.
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangier to protect the
Belgian legation.
1914 The U.S. Congress passed a Joint Resolution that
designated the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day.
1921 Sweden abolished capital punishment.
1933 Gandhi began a hunger strike to protest British
oppression in India.
1943 The Germans suppressed a revolt by Polish Jews and
destroyed the Warsaw Ghetto.
1956 Alfred E. Neuman appeared on the cover of "Mad Magazine"
for the first time.
1960 Diplomatic relations between Cuba and the Soviet Union resumed.
1967 Muhammad Ali was indicted for refusing induction in U.S. Army.
1970 Construction workers broke up an anti-war protest on
New York City's Wall Street.
1973 Militant American Indians who had held the South Dakota
hamlet of Wounded Knee for 10 weeks surrendered.
1985 "New Coke" was released to the public on the 99th
anniversary of Coca-Cola. 78 days later it was dumped.
1986 Reporters were told that 84,000 people had been evacuated
from areas near the Chernobyl nuclear plant in Soviet Ukraine.
1998 A pipe burst leaving a million residents without water in
Malaysia's capital area. This added to four days of shortages
that 2 million already faced.
2016 smiled.
|
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Saturday, May 7, 2016, 08:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, May 7
The Alberta provincial government, which declared a state of
emergency, said more than 1,100 firefighters, 145
helicopters, 138 pieces of heavy equipment and 22 air
tankers are fighting the fire,
The Government of Alberta will match donations to the Red
Cross in support of the people of Fort McMurray.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Pennsylvania brothers busted for selling heroin
in Burger king play area
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 7, in
1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for
experiments, and they wander off through equation after
equation, and eventually build a structure which has no
relation to reality.
--- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943)
If all economists were laid end to end,
they would not reach a conclusion.
--- George Bernard Shaw
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to
preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my
sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon,
the minister asked for a show of hands.
He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand
went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters.
I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
"St. Patrick's Day Engagement"
An Irishman, by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl
on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic
diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father,
a jeweler. He took a close look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her
future husband. She protested vehemently about his
cheapness.
"It was in honor of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled.
"I gave you a sham rock."
______________________________________________________
Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but
one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on
the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The
foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow
Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front
door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said,
"I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at
work today when he fell into the vat and drowned."
She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a
time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?"
"Knowing Pat Murphy like I do, I don't think so," said the
foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Otis Pegues, 31,
East Pittsburgh,
Marlan Byars, 28,
West Mifflin,
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania brothers busted for selling heroin
in Burger king play area
Two men are in the Allegheny County Jail after police said
they were caught selling heroin in the play area of a North
Versailles fast food restaurant.
The two men are brothers, and police say one of the men
brought his 6-year-old son along with him.
Otis Pegues, 31, of East Pittsburgh, and Marlan Byars, 28,of
West Mifflin, were arrested on drug, conspiracy and related
charges.
They were arrested, investigators said, in the kids’
playground area of the North Versailles Burger King.
Police say Byars had his 6-year-old son with him at the
time.
According to police, Pegues set up the buy with an
undercover officer. He was allegedly planning to sell 20
bricks of heroin for $4,600.
The drugs and money were recovered.
Holding her young daughter in her arms, one woman reacted to
the arrest saying, “It makes me nervous. I’ve taken my kids
[to the Burger King] before, but I probably won’t be taking
them there again.”
A man in North Versailles said, “It’s real sad, but nothing
happens around here anymore that surprises me.”
The undercover investigation was conducted by North
Versailles and Swissvale Police Departments, working with
the Allegheny County District Attorney’s Narcotics
Enforcement Team.
Police said undercover officers had made previous heroin
buys from Pegues during the past two weeks at both the North
Versailles Walmart and the Kmart stores.
In addition to drug and conspiracy charges, both men face
charges of endangering the welfare of a child.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Jaye
RE: 895-system32 virus
Dear Webby,
This keeps showing up when I click on something to watch on
Yahoo home page????
There is a .net framework file missing
possibly due to some harmful virus
Debug malware error 895-system32.exe failure.
Please contact Microsoft technicians to rectify the issue.
Please do not open internet browsers for your security and
to avoid data corruption on your registry of your operating
system. Please contact Microsoft technicians at:
Toll-Free Helpline 1(855) 737-2627
********************
PLEASE DO NOT SHUT DOWN OR RESTART YOUR COMPUTER. DOING SO
MAY LEAD TO DATA LOSS AND OPERATING SYSTEM FAILURE, CAUSING
blah, blah, blah
Jaye
Dear Jaye
Don't call that number, unless you wish to tell them what to
give your pet goat.
Get Malwarebytes.
I doublechecked and yes, Malwarebytes does clean that 895
scam ware off your machine. They say if it does not, use the
live chat and they will remove the scamware.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Eve called the police.
"My next door neighbor is exposing himself. Oh my," she
continued, "he's just standing there, big as you please,
taking a shower with his window shades up!"
The squad car arrived immediately to catch the evil culprit
in the act. She led the cop into her bedroom and pointed out
her window.
"See what I mean, officer."
The policeman scratched his head and said, "Ma'am, I can
only see the top of his head."
The lady replied, "Crazy fool, just put a chair on that
dresser over there and stand on that!
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Grease Splatters Off Walls
By Ashersisk [1 Comment]
A quality citris cleaner should work well. Make sure its not
a watered down version. Home improvement centers with have
it. Use it with a soft mildly abrasive cloth or sponge.
Apply to area let sit 10-15 mins and wipe. Repeated
applications may be needed.
If its been there too long you may take the paint off and
that would have to be repaired. Mr. Clean pads don't work
well I tried that already myself.
Whatever you use for cleaning a glass stove
top will also work just as well on walls and inside of range
hood. I use Weimans, but I bet "Barkeepers Friend" will work
too.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
>From Lillemor
Brilliant Beijing Hotel Brochure -
Translated as only they can do.
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this
brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels
depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word
from Mandarin to English.
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The
bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will
feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are
getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend.
The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always
tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The Hotel:
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and
unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table
to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts.
In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony
offering views of outstanding obscenity! ... You will not be
disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the
hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed:
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition.
If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid.
Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to
squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she
will also squeeze your trousers.
Above All:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have
no hope. You will struggle to forget it.
___________________________________________________
| Humming birds snore! Yes, just like the partner who kept you awake last night.
|
____________________________________________________
The CIA lost track of one of its operatives, and so calls in
one of their top spy hunters.
The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is
Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think
you've located him, tell him the code words,'The weather
forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's
really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as
well.'"
So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in the first bar
he sees. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me.
I'm looking for a guy named Murphy."
The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more
specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named
Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop
on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, across the
street. There's Murphy the Plumber next door.
And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too."
Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try
the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather
forecast calls for mist in the morning."
The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the
Spy. He lives on 24 East Broadmoor in Dublin, on the second
floor. But,.... from what I hear he's vacationing in Hawaii
right now. You'll have to ask Murphy the travel agent to get
the phone number of the hotel he's staying at.
__________________________________________________
Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a
dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging
through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled
across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would
appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement
of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular
genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one
wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted
out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped
his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the
entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping
of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men
considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been
granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going, you idiot! All that beer, and only such a
small boat for a urinal !"
____________________________________________________
| Some people just have a little trouble parking.
|
Today on May 7
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople
collapsed. It was immediately rebuilt as ordered by Justinian.
1274 The Second Council of Lyons opened in France to regulate
the election of the pope.
1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc.
1525 The German peasants' revolt was crushed by the ruling
class and church.
1763 Indian chief Pontiac began all out war on the British
in New York.
1912 The first airplane equipped with a machine gun flew
over College Park, MD.
1915 The Lusitania, a civilian ship, was sunk by a German
submarine. 1,201 people were killed.
1926 A U.S. report showed that one-third of the nation's
exports were motors.
1937 The German Condor Legion arrived in Spain to assist
Franco’s forces.
1939 Germany and Italy announced a military and political
alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis.
1940 Winston Churchill became British Prime Minister.
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American
navies attacked each other with carrier planes. It was the
first time in the history of naval warfare where two enemy
fleets fought without seeing each other.
1945 Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II.
It would take effect the next day.
1946 Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. was founded.
The company was later renamed Sony.
1951 Russia was admitted to participate in the 1952 Olympic Games
by the International Olympic Committee.
1954 French Colonial Forces surrendered to the Vietminh at
Dien Bien Phu after 55 days of fighting.
1954 The United States and the United Kingdom rejected the
Soviet Union's bid to join NATO.
1975 U.S. President Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War.
1984 A $180 million out-of-court settlement was announced in
the Agent Orange class-action suit brought by Vietnam veterans
who claimed they had suffered injury from exposure to the
defoliant while serving in the armed forces.
1992 A 203-year-old proposed constitutional amendment barring
the U.S. Congress from giving itself a midterm pay raise was
ratified as the 27th Amendment.
1997 A report released by the U.S. government said that
Switzerland provided Nazi Germany with equipment and credit
during World War II. Germany exchanged for gold what had been
plundered or stolen. Switzerland did not comply with postwar
agreements to return the gold.
1998 Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 billion.
It was the largest industrial merger on record.
1998 Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for the
first time in history. The vote would take place in May 2000.
1999 In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, three Chinese citizens were killed
and 20 were wounded when a NATO plane mistakenly bombed the
Chinese embassy.
2003 In Washington, DC, General Motors Corp. delivered six
fuel cell vehicles to Capitol Hill for lawmakers and others
to test drive during the next two years.
2016 smiled.
|
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( 2 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3.2 / 262 )
Friday, May 6, 2016, 09:08 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Thank you Allene!
Thank you, Sig!
Today is Friday, May 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas woman arrested with dope on her and a
fetus in her purse.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 6, in
1527 German troops began sacking Rome, bringing about the
end of the Renaissance.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Where we have strong emotions,
we're liable to fool ourselves.
--- Carl Sagan
(Like he did with his "Ice Age Is Coming" campaign
at the END of the previous cooling ripple, which was
the model for Al Gore's "Gullible Warming" campaign,
at the END of the warming ripple.)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Sandra: Have you tried that nicotine gum to help you
quit smoking, Marion?
Marion: No, I haven't tried that.
Sandra: My mother used it. She's down to one carton
a day now.
Marion: One carton of cigarettes?
Sandra: No, she only smokes one pack of cigarettes a
day. Now she has a one 10-pack carton-a-day gum habit!
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men
and a dog playing cards. The dog was playing with
extraordinary performance.
"This is a very smart dog," the man commented.
"Not THAT smart," said one of the players. "Every time
he gets a good hand he wags his tail."
______________________________________________________
Shortly after returning home from a trip to Sea World in
Florida, a friend went shopping for swimsuits with her
children.
When she emerged from the dressing room in a
contrasting black-and-white suit, her four-year-old daughter
exclaimed her approval: "Oh, Mommy, I love it! You look
just like Shamu, the fat whale!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Bernadette Rivera,
32,
San Antonio,
Texas.
Texas woman arrested with dope on her and a
fetus in her purse.
Park Police made a startling discovery during an arrest at
Cassiano Park west of downtown San Antonio late Thursday
night.
Officers were making an arrest on 32-year-old Bernadette
Rivera for drug possession when they said they also located
what appeared to be a human fetus.
Multiple sources said police located several felonies worth
of illegal narcotics near Rivera's private area. They said
the fetus was found inside of a handbag Rivera was carrying.
Rivera has been booked on three felony drug charges but has
yet to be charged in relation to the fetus.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Helen
RE: Copy the screen
Dear Webby,
I would love the answer to this one. When I have trouble
shutting down my computer, I run it through a couple of
programs before going to the start menu. Last night I
opened
Word and hit "Paste", and in popped a picture of my screen
that had been copied earlier in the evening, complete with
shortcut bar on the side! I have no idea how I managed to
execute a copy command that made a copy of my screen.
Can you tell me how to do it again?
Thank you!
Helen
Dear Helen
The PrintScreen key will do exactly that. It "prints" the
entire screen into the clipboard.
If you hold down the ALT key while you hit PrintScreeen,
it copies only the contents of the window that is active.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Two dogs were walking down the street. The one
dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be
right back." He walks across the street and sniffs
this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks
back across the street.
The other dog says, "What was that about?"
The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my
pee-mail."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Growing Tomato Slices
Mesh Bags As Dish Scrubbers
Reuse mesh onion bags as pan scrubbers! Just stuff a few
into one bag and then tie a knot at the end of the bag!
By Michele G from Buchanan, GA
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Try this only once and be honest...
This is not a joke, but a true test to see what kind of
connection to the Internet you are suited for.
Read the following sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF
SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now read through the above sentence counting aloud
the "F"s as you find them (1...2...etc).
Count them aloud, but ONLY ONCE. It makes no
difference how many you get on the second or third try.
(Answer farther down)
___________________________________________________
| Humming birds snore! Yes, just like the partner who kept you awake last night.
|
____________________________________________________
On a flight I was on a few years ago, this elderly woman
kept peering past me out the window. (I always pick window
seats, so that I can lean against the wall and snooze)
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the
wing tip light.
Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
"I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you
should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on
and has been for some time."
__________________________________________________
The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.
"Tyson," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language.
Where did you hear it?"
"My daddy said it," he responded.
"Well, that doesn't matter," she explained,
"I don't want to hear that language in here again."
After a moment, she muttered under her breath,
"At least he doesn't know what it means."
"I do, too," Tyson corrected. "It means the car won't start."
=======
There are 6 F's
____________________________________________________
| Old photos taken at just the right second.
|
Today on May 6
1527 German troops began sacking Rome, bringing about the
end of the Renaissance.
1529 Babur defeated the Afghan Chiefs in the Battle of
Ghagra, India.
1840 The first adhesive postage stamps went on sale in GB
1851 The mechanical refrigerator was patented by Dr. John Gorrie.
1851 Linus Yale patented the clock-type lock.
1861 Arkansas became the ninth state to secede from the Union.
1877 Chief Crazy Horse surrendered to U.S. troops in Nebraska.
1882 The U.S. Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act. The act
barred Chinese immigrants from the U.S. for 10 years.
1889 The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, France, marking
the dedication of the Eiffel Tower. Also at the exposition was
the first automobile in Paris, the Mercedes-Benz.
1937 The German airship Hindenburg crashed and burned in
Lakehurst, NJ. Thirty-six people (of the 97 on board) were killed.
1941 Joseph Stalin assumed the Soviet premiership.
1942 During World War II, the Japanese seized control of the
Philippines. About 15,000 Americans and Filipinos on Corregidor
surrendered to the Japanese.
1945 Axis Sally made her final propaganda broadcast to
Allied troops.
1957 U.S. Senator John Fitzgerald Kennedy was awarded the Pulitzer
Prize for his book "Profiles in Courage".
1960 Britain's Princess Margaret married Anthony Armstrong Jones.
They were divorced in 1978.
1960 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Civil Rights Act of 1960.
1962 The first nuclear warhead was fired from the Polaris submarine.
1994 The Chunnel officially opened. The tunnel under the English Channel
links England and France.
1994 Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones filed suit against U.S.
President Clinton. The case alleged that he had sexually harassed
her in 1991.
1999 A parole board in New York voted to release Amy Fisher.
She had been in jail for 7 years for shooting her lover's wife,
Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face.
2002 "Spider-Man" became the first movie to make more than
$100 million in its first weekend.
2016 smiled.
|
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( 3 views )
| permalink | print article | ( 3.1 / 329 )
Picture of tornado and eagle Thursday, May 5, 2016, 07:14 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 5
Everybody is helping the evacuees from Fort McMurray.
The OilSands operations are still running, but all off-shift
and non-essential workers are cruising the highway with
drinking water tankers and tidy-tanks with fuel, and giving
their bunk houses to needy families.
There are now over a dozen firefighting helicopter tankers
on site and busy saving houses, but the smoke and falling
ash and tinders make movement on the ground not safe yet.
Military is heading up there, but it is not clear yet, what
they will do, since evacuation is pretty well complete.
By Monday they hope the fire will be burned out or under
control, and the human tide will reverse. People will come
back and rebuild.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
19 year old charged with arson in connection
to Mayerthorpe CN Rail trestle bridge fire.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 5, in
1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space when
he made a 15 minute suborbital flight.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
It's all right letting yourself go
as long as you can let yourself back.
--- Mick Jagger (1943 - )
Eat your spinach and you'll grow up big and strong,
just like Popeye.
Then you can get a girlfriend that looks like Olive Oyl.
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From the archive
I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut.
Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself,
and I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine
next door to make a copy of the photo.
"Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she
said.
"But my husband is here getting a haircut," I explained.
"Yes," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back
for."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
For a holiday, Patty Murphy from Dublin decided to go
to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the
Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared
the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to
them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.
"We're saved!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's
best friend!"
"Sure," said the Irishman.
"An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"
______________________________________________________
What's a million years like
Little Johnny asked God "What's a million years like to
you?"
Knowing that Johnny couldn't understand eternity God
said "A million years is like a minute to me."
Johnny: Wow! What's a million dollars like?
God: A million dollars is like a penny to me.
Johnny: Gee God you're so generous. Can I have one of
your pennies?
God: Sure Johnny, just hang on a minute till I find
something that small.
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Lawson Michael Schalm
19,
Mayerthorpe,
Alberta
19 year old charged with arson in connection
to Mayerthorpe CN Rail trestle bridge fire.
Mayerthorpe RCMP have charged a 19-year-old man with 18
counts of arson in relation to a fire that burned the CN
trestle bridge on Tuesday.
Mayerthorpe, about 120 kilometres northwest of Edmonton, saw
as many as 21 suspicious fires over a six day period.
Lawson Michael Schalm, who is from Mayerthorpe, is charged
in connection to many of them. Schalm is the son of former
mayor Albert Schalm.
He was the mayor of Mayerthorpe when four RCMP officers were
killed near the town in 2005.
A Facebook page for Schalm includes photos showing the young
man dressed in a firefighter cadet uniform and bunker gear.
The article says the Mayerthorpe fire department has a
cadets program. Youth can join at the age of 15. When they
turn 17, they are allowed to respond to general fire calls,
it says.
The arson case was high priority within the Mayerthorpe
detachment.
Cpl. Sharon Franks said RCMP were able to find and charge
the man because of "numerous tips" from the public.
"The dry conditions certainly made it concerning for us and
a lot of the officers from Mayerthorpe were certainly
focused on finding the person responsible," said Franks.
The CN bridge fire forced the evacuation of nearby schools
and a trailer park with 38 mobile homes. Some Lac St. Anne
County residents living nearby were also told to be ready to
leave on one-hour notice.
Mayerthorpe fire chief Randy Schroeder said last week almost
three dozen firefighters from four different fire
departments in the area were called to help douse the
flames, alongside agriculture and forestry services members,
helicopters and a water bomber.
The loss of the bridge will impact the lumber and oil
industries "extensively" Schroeder said.
Schalm will remain in custody until he makes his first court
appearance on May 4th at Stony Plain Provincial Court.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Gus
RE: Old picture of tornado and eagle
Dear Webby,
I love your humor email.
I have one problem that maybe you can help with. I put a
photo from your email on my desktop and now everybody
that sees it also wants it. It is the one with the desert
scene
and the approaching tornado that is an American eagle.
Is there a way to access old homor letters or photos??
Gus
I upload a fresh Humor Letter every night and overwrite
the previous one. Most people just read it on-line at
http://webby.com/humor,
because they are not supposed to get personal mail at work.
Only a very small percentage (about 24000 people for the
HTML version) get it in actual email.
Because the pictures have a different name every day,
they are not overwritten and I usually leave them up on
the server for for a year, but take them down if people
link to them.
The picture that you are referring to is "Storm Brewing".
Unfortunately I don't know the name of the artist who
created it.
I had to take that picture down but for now have uploaded
three versions of the picture onto the server again:
http://webby.com/humor/StormBrewing-450x338.jpg
That is the size you see above, small enough to
paste into emails. However, don't link to it ! Just save it
to your computer and insert or embed or attach it. If
the AOLers and WebTVers find it and a Million of them
link it into their email signatures again, I'll take it down
again.
http://webby.com/humor/StormBrewing600x450.jpg
is a bit bigger. That one is 43.5 KB but still loads fairly
fast.
http://webby.com/humor/StormBrewing-5x375-1500x1000.jpg
That picture is 1500 x 1000 pixels at 300 dots per inch
and sized for printing a 5" x 3.75" or larger photo.
With good quality photo print paper you can get it to
look quite decent even at 10" x 8" and frame it in a
14" x 12" frame.
Naturally at that size and printer resolution that picture
will take a while to load even with a fast DSL connection.
Those comments about not linking apply not just to the
pictures I upload for you. No webmaster can afford the
file transfer bills if a lot of people link to their
pictures.
Some just take the pictures down when that happens,
but many replace them with really nasty pictures that
will embarrass the abuser.
If you want the picture, best to download it today or
tomorrow, because most likely I will have to take it
down again in a few days.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted
his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had
bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the
store looking at the dress. Then I found myself
trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering
to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You
should buy it.'"
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal
with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It
looks great from back here, too"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Growing Tomato Slices
By ShirleyE [74 Posts, 54 Comments]
I don't mean you can get ready sliced tomatoes off a plant
:0) that would be silly. However, rather than pay for an
expensive pack of seeds, or go to the trouble of picking
seeds out of a tomato and drying them, you can actually
plant slices of tomatoes. It's so easy to do. Simply lay
them out, cover with compost and keep them watered.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Biblical bloopers from Sunday school students:
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day,
but a ball of fire by night.
-------
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history
they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
-------
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam
to eat the apple.
-------
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
-------
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not
admit adultery.
-------
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told
his son to stand still and he obeyed him
-------
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and
700 porcupines.
-------
When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived,
they found Jesus, - in the manager. Jesus was born
because Mary had an emaculate contraption.
-------
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
___________________________________________________
| Humming birds snore! Yes, just like the partner who kept you awake last night.
|
____________________________________________________
Selma and Irving receive a wedding invitation in the mail.
Since it was many years since they were invited
anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that
they were asked to attend a wedding.
All was fine until they reached the last line.
Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this
"RSVP" mean?"
Selma was at a loss, as for the life of her, she
simply couldn't remember. Finally, she cries out:
"Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means
"Remember, Send Vedding Present!"
__________________________________________________
A flight attendant noticed a passenger clutching the arms
of his chair until his knuckles turned white.
"Are you nervous?" she asked.
"I'm petrified!" said the man. "I don't travel well in
the best of times, but lately . . ."
"I understand," the attendant said. "You must develop a
sense of balance and reality about such things. Some say,
if it's your time, it's your time. There's nothing you
can do."
"I know," said the man, "but I'd feel better on the train."
"The train?" chuckled the attendant. "Did you read about
the train going through Death Valley last month? A clear,
hot day; miles of visibility; nothing near the track for
miles; then - Boom! - the train exploded and all was lost."
"Heavens!" said the man. "What happened?"
Answered the attendant: "A plane fell on it."
____________________________________________________
| Stunning photos of abandoned places around the world. It's so sad to see these
once beautiful places gone to ruin.
|
Today on May 5
1494 Christopher Columbus sighted Jamaica on his second trip
to the Western Hemisphere. He named the island Santa Gloria.
1798 U.S. Secretary of War William McHenry ordered that the
USS Constitution be made ready for sea. The frigate was
launched on October 21, 1797, but had never been put to sea.
1809 Mary Kies was awarded the first patent to go to a woman.
It was for technique for weaving straw with silk and thread.
1814 The British attacked the American forces at Ft. Ontario,
Oswego, NY.
1834 The first mainland railway line opened in Belgium.
1862 The Battle of Puebla took place. It is celebrated
as Cinco de Mayo Day.
1865 The Thirteenth Amendment was ratified, abolishing
slavery in the U.S.
1891 Music Hall was dedicated in New York City. It was
later renamed Carnegie Hall.
1892 The U.S. Congress extended the Geary Chinese
Exclusion Act for 10 more years. The act required Chinese
in the U.S. to be registered or face deportation.
1901 The first Catholic mass for night workers was held at
the Church of St. Andrew in New York City.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda began publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invaded the Dominican Republic.
1925 John T. Scopes, a biology teacher in Dayton, TN, was
arrested for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.
1926 Eisenstein's film "Battleship Potemkin" was shown in
Germany for the first time.
1926 Sinclair Lewis refused a 1925 Pulitzer for "Arrowsmith."
1936 Edward Ravenscroft received a patent for the screw-on
bottle cap with a pour lip.
1945 The Netherlands and Denmark were liberated from Nazis.
1945 A Japanese balloon bomb exploded on Gearhart Mountain
in Oregon. A pregnant woman and five children were killed.
1955 The Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) became
a sovereign state.
1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space when
he made a 15 minute suborbital flight.
1987 The U.S. congressional Iran-Contra hearings opened.
2016 smiled.
|
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Wednesday, May 4, 2016, 08:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, May 4
Started mowing this afternoon, but after doing the edges
had to stop. 50 degrees (120 in British Empire Fahrenheit)
is too hot without a wind. Well, the grass is not going to
run away. I'll go after it when it cools off in the morning.
Fort McMurray, the town north of here, known for oil sands,
has a major wild fire. 70,000 people had to run. Forced
evacuation.
Forest fire erupts behind reporter
Shelter for the 70,000 + people is getting organized via
FaceBook and Skype.
Shelter for Ft McMurray Refugees
>From Bill M
Hello Webby,
In my version of Microsoft Word, to add or remove horizontal
and vertical scroll bars:
Left-click the ball at the top left corner of the screen >
left-click on Word Options at the bottom of the dialog box >
left-click on Advanced in the Word Options dialog box >
scroll down to Display > check or uncheck the "Show
Horizontal scroll bar" and the Show vertical scroll bar".
Click on OK
I don't see a Tools menu.
Bill Moore
Thanks Bill
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Memphis Ministry prophetess, who stole $60K that were
intended for a summer feeding program for low-income
children.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 4, in
1626 Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on Manhattan Island.
Native Americans later sold the island (20,000 acres) for
$24 in cloth and buttons.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A 6 year old was overheard reciting the Lord's
Prayer at a church service, "And forgive us our gas
passes, as we forgive those who passed gas against us."
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Bob and his wife have structured conversations:
firstly, she gives him her opinion,
then she gives him his opinion.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
>From Bobbie
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest
buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and
weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group
keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest
members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells,
but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells
first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine.
Thasch why you alwaysch feel scho musch schmarter
after a few beers.
______________________________________________________
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy
Arthur, "How come you aren't married?"
Arthur: "I haven't found the right woman yet."
George: "So what are you looking for?"
Arthur: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and
house-keeper, and she's got to know how to handle money, a
really nice and pleasant personality is a must - and money,
she's got to have money...and a home, a nice big house, is
what she has to have."
George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU."
Arthur: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Jeanette Jives-Nealy,
48,
Memphis,
Tennessee
Ministry prophetess stole $60K that were
intended for a summer feeding program for low-income
children. Jeanette Jives-Nealy, worked at Kingdom
Dominion Worldwide Ministries of Memphis, Tennessee.
A former Memphis woman has been indicted in a TBI theft
investigation. The woman is accused of stealing money
intended to fund a summer program for low-income
children.
TBI According to a press release, 48-year-old Jeanette
Jives-Nealy was indicted Tuesday by the Shelby County
Grand Jury and charged with one count of Theft over
$60,000. Nealy is a former prophetess of Kingdom Dominion
Worldwide Ministries of Memphis. The release states the
nonprofit organization’s financial statements were
investigated for discrepancies in 2014 by TBI Special
Agents. During the course of the investigation,
investigators developed information that Nealy was the
individual responsible for the missing funds, according
to the release.
Officials say the funds were provided by the Tennessee
Department of Human Services and were intended to fund a
2014 summer program food feeding program for low-income
children.
Nealy currently resides in Tampa, Florida where she was
arrested without incident Friday by the Florida
Department of Corrections Tampa Circuit Office, according
to authorities.
Officials say Nealy was booked into the Hillsborough
County, Florida Jail, where at the time of the release
she was being held without bail, awaiting extradition to
Shelby County, Tennessee.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: John
RE: Vertical scroll bar in WORD
Dear Webby,
Good Morning Webby,
My wife is running Vista Home and has run into a problem. Â
She received a document that needs Adobe Reader XI to open.
Is it safe to download Adobe Reader.
Daily Voter,
Bob
Hi Bob
ANY PDF reader will do.
Adobe Reader is OK, but rather limited.
I use Nitro, a PDF reader / Editor.
With that you can even fill out PDF forms from the IRS.
I routinely use that for any forms, not just tax, fill them
out, paste my signature, then "print" it to FAX, and pint it
on THEIR paper.
Nitro is at
https://www.gonitro.com/pdf-reader
but nowadays, there are quite a few other free PDF editors
available,
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Here is an oldie-goldie that came back to me today. Thanks
to Ginnie for sending it!
Two nuns who worked in a hospital were out driving in the
country when they ran out of gas. As they were standing
beside their car on the shoulder of the road, a truck
approached them.
Noticing the nuns in distress, the trucker stopped and
offered to help. When the nuns explained they had run out
of gas, the trucker said he would be more than happy to
drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or a
can.
Hearing this, one of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan from
the trunk and asked the trucker if it would do. He said it
would and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts into the
pan. He then handed the pan to the sisters, got back into
his truck and waved goodbye.
While the nuns were carefully pouring the precious fuel
into their gas tank, a cop happened by. He stopped and
watched them for a few moments, then said, "Sisters,
somehow I don't think that's going to work, but if it does,
I am going to become a Catholic!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Uses for Styrofoam Meat Trays
I found another use for styrofoam meat trays! I needed a
nice surface to put a hot pizza on that wouldn't heat up
the counter top.
These are invaluable for all kinds of things, but a hot
pad was the one I thought was the most useful at the
time. They are also great for under planters, draining
bacon and sausage on with a paper towel or two, spoon and
utensil rests when making multiple meals, and so much
more.
N-JOY!
Source: My own need to keep the counters safe and clean.
By Poor But Proud from Salem OR
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.
"In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a
positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double
negative is still a negative. However," the professor
continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive
can form a negative."
A sarcastic voice from the back of the room piped up:
"Yeah, right."
___________________________________________________
| pontoon plane takes off from flatbed behind pickup
|
____________________________________________________
A man went to see his eye doctor, who told him he had a case
of myopera and that he and would have to wear contract
lenses. That's a lot better than his friend, who had had a
cadillac removed.
Still, when he worked at his computer, he would have to
watch out for harbor tunnel syndrome. He worried that his
authoritis of the joints might be a signal of Old Timer's
disease and fretted that a genital heart defect was causing
trouble with his duodemon.
__________________________________________________
The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman
asked if the seat next to Paul was free, his male ego
soared. Soon they were chatting pleasantly, and she told him
it was her first flight.
"Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust,"
she confessed nervously. "And you look just like my dad."
____________________________________________________
| There is so much beauty in just a drop of water.
|
Today on May 4
1471 In England, the Yorkists defeated the Landcastrians
at the battle of Tewkesbury in the War of the Roses.
1493 Alexander VI divided non-Christian world between
Spain and Portugal.
1626 Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on Manhattan Island.
Native Americans later sold the island (20,000 acres) for
$24 in cloth and buttons.
1715 A French manufacturer debuted the first folding umbrella.
1776 Rhode Island declared its freedom from England two months
before the Declaration of Independence was adopted.
1795 Thousands of rioters entered jails in Lyons, France,
and massacre 99 Jacobin prisoners.
1814 Napoleon Bonaparte disembarked at Portoferraio on the
island of Elba in the Mediterranean.
1886 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter patented the
gramophone. It was the first practical phonograph.
1916 Germany agreed to limit its submarine warfare after a
demand from U.S. President Wilson.
1930 Mahatma Gandhi was arrested by the British.
1932 Al Capone entered the Atlanta Penitentiary federal
prison for income-tax evasion.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commenced as American and
Japanese carriers launched their attacks at each other.
1942 The United States began food rationing.
1946 A two-day riot at Alcatraz prison in San Francisco Bay
ended. Five people were killed.
1970 The Ohio National Guardsmen opened fire on students
during an anti-Vietnam war protest at Kent State University.
Four students were killed and nine others were wounded.
1979 Margaret Thatcher became Britain's first woman
prime minister.
1989 Oliver North, a former White House aide was convicted
of shredding documents and two other crimes. He was acquitted
of nine other charges stemming from the Iran-Contra affair.
The three convictions were later overturned on appeal.
1998 Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski was given four life
sentences plus 30 years by a federal judge in Sacramento, CA.
The sentence was under a plea agreement that spared Kaczynski
the death penalty.
2000 Londoners elected their mayor for the first time.
2010 Pablo Picasso's "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust" sold for
$106.5 million.
2016 smiled.
|
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Vertical scroll bar in WORD Tuesday, May 3, 2016, 07:20 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, May 3
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
New Hampshire man wearing a “This Guy Needs A Beer” t-
shirt was arrested for drunk driving after crashing his
car.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 3, in
1992 - Five days of rioting and looting ended in Los Angeles,
CA. The riots, that killed 53 people, began after the
acquittal of police officers in the beating of Rodney King.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
The personnel manager was impressing the applicant
with the prospective job.
"We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required
to work with lenses that are only 1/100th of an inch
thick."
"I can handle it," the applicant said, "That would be
about four slices of roast beef in the deli where I
worked. I can cut ham so thin, that it is kosher."
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Bob and his wife have structured conversations:
firstly, she gives him her opinion,
then she gives him his opinion.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
After ten years of twice weekly therapy, Sharon decided
to ask her psychiatrist if she had made any progress.
His answer, though very brief and succinct, absolutely
devastated her.
He said:"'No hablo ingles."
______________________________________________________
A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are
appalled to see that the tombstone reads:
"Here lies Shirley, wife of Morris Schwartz, L. L. D.,
Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigration Legal
Services "
Suddenly, Morris bursts into tears. His brother-in-law
says, "You should cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on
Shirley's tombstone !"
Through his tears, Morris sobs, "Oy, you don't
understand! The phone number and Email was left out!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture by her friend
Ann
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Joshua Tackett,
29,
Kensington,
New Hampshire
A New Hampshire man wearing a “This Guy
Needs A Beer” t-shirt was arrested for drunk driving
after crashing his car.
A New Hampshire man wearing a “This Guy Needs A Beer” t-
shirt was arrested for drunk driving after crashing his
car Friday evening.
Joshua Tackett, 29, was nabbed after his Chevy Cruz
veered off the road in the town of Kensington (pop.
2124). The auto hit a stone wall, a granite post, and a
utility pole before coming to a stop across the street
from the Kensington Police Department headquarters.
Pictured above, Tackett was arrested for drunk driving
and booked into the local jail (from which he was later
released on $750 bail).
Tackett suffered minor injuries in the crash, but
declined medical treatment. He is scheduled to be
arraigned Wednesday on the misdemeanor charge.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: John
RE: Vertical scroll bar in WORD
Dear Webby,
In Microshaft Word, I have lost my scroll/slider bar
on the right side of the window that allows me to go up
and down in the document. Thankful for wheel mice or I
wouldn't be able to do any reasonable editing.
Any ideas on how to get it back?
John
Dear John
To display or hide scroll bars
On the Tools menu, click Options,
and then click the View tab.
Under Show, select or clear the Horizontal scroll bar
and Vertical scroll bar check boxes.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
The president of the service club asked his new
member, "Would you like to donate something to the
home for the aged?"
The new member replied,
"Yes, sure. How about my mother-in-law?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sweet Potato Fries
This is the easiest way I've found to make sweet potato
(or any other type of) fries.
Ingredients:
sweet potato (1 or enough to serve your family/guests)
Italian dressing (I use bottled "house" Italian)
pepper (to taste)
paprika (to taste)
The Italian dressing takes care of most of the
seasonings, and I do not need to add any more salt.
Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a jelly roll pan with
aluminum foil for easy clean up.
Wash sweet potato and cut into quarter inch fries (I
leave the skin on). Drizzle Italian dressing lightly over
fries. The amount you use will depend on the number of
potatoes you are serving. Sprinkle with seasonings (to
taste). Toss lightly with your fingers to coat all the
potatoes, then spread flat in one layer the cookie sheet.
Bake for 20-30 minutes to desired crispness. Serve with
Ranch dressing as a dip.
Source: I saw something similar for regular potatoes in a
magazine several years ago. Finally tried it with the
sweet potato fries. Yum!
By skeesics56 from NW OH
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Having lost weight over the past few years, I was
discarding
things from my wardrobe that no longer fit. My seven-
year-old
niece was watching as I held up a huge pair of slacks.
"Wow," I said. "I must have worn these when I was 183."
My niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you
now?"
___________________________________________________
| Our beautiful planet
|
____________________________________________________
"Dawn," asked Mary thoughtfully one day, "what would you
do if you caught your husband with another woman?"
"Another woman with MY husband?" Dawn thought it over.
"Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and
call a cab to take her back to the institution she
escaped from."
__________________________________________________
The bathroom scale manufacturer was very proud of the new
model being introduced at the trade fair. "Listen to
these features: it's calibrated to one-one-hundredth of a
pound; it can measure your height as well, in feet or
meters; it gives you a readout via an LED or human-voice
simulator; and that's not all..."
"Very impressive," interrupted a none-too-slender sales
rep for a chain of home furnishings stores, "but before I
place an order I'll have to try it out."
"Be my guest," said the manufacturer graciously.
No sooner had the sales rep taken his place on the scale
than a loud, very human-sounding voice issued forth: "One
at a time, please, one at a time!"
He didn't place an order.
____________________________________________________
| Beautiful painted landscapes on fallen logs.
|
Today on May 3
1568 - French forces in Florida slaughtered hundreds of Spanish.
1802 - Washington, DC, was incorporated as a city.
1859 - France declared war on Austria.
1888 - Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Works.
1916 - Irish nationalist Padraic Pearse and two others were
executed by the British for their roles in the Easter Rising.
1921 - West Virginia imposed the first state sales tax.
1926 - In Britain, trade unions began a general strike.
1945 - Indian forces captured Rangoon, Burma, from
the Japanese.
1948 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that covenants
prohibiting the sale of real estate to blacks and other
minorities were legally unenforceable.
1952 - The first airplane landed at the geographic North Pole.
1968 - After three days of battle, the U.S. Marines retook
Dai Do complex in Vietnam. They found that the North
Vietnamese had evacuated the area.
1971 - Anti-war protesters began four days of demonstrations
in Washington, DC.
1986 - In NASA's first post-Challenger launch, an unmanned
Delta rocket lost power in its main engine shortly after
liftoff. Safety officers destroyed it by remote control.
1988 - The White House acknowledged that first lady Nancy
Reagan had used astrological advice to help schedule
her husband's activities.
1992 - Five days of rioting and looting ended in Los Angeles,
CA. The riots, that killed 53 people, began after the
acquittal of police officers in the beating of Rodney King.
1997 - The "Republic of Texas" surrendered to authorities
ending an armed standoff where two people were held hostage.
The group asserts the independence of Texas from the U.S.
2000 - The trial of two Libyans accused of killing 270 people
in the bombing of Pan Am flight 103 (over Lockerbie) opened.
2006 - In Alexandria, VA, Al-Quaida conspirator Zacarias
Moussaoui was given a sentence of life in prison for his
role in the terrorist attack on the U.S. on
September 11, 2001.
2016 smiled.
|
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Monday, May 2, 2016, 10:42 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 2
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Arkansas elementary school teacher arrested
for giving alcohol to minors
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 2, in
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's
only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland
Islands War. More than 350 people died.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
"No matter how much cats fight,
there always seems to be plenty of kittens."
--- Abraham Lincoln
There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher
has said it.
--- Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is
waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his
wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor
when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little
boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup
of coffee, because there may be another one."
Swampy turns a little pale and leaves. Some time later he
phones the hospital and is told that he the father of
twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another
one on the way, so call back later."
At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough,
so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones
the hospital again he is told that the third baby has
arrived and a fourth is on the way.
White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double
scotch.
Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is
so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the
recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off
the floor the recording is still going strong:
"The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and
the last one was a duck."
He passed out.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed
by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't
a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer
evening?"
The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, sister. But I
would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am
certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand."
"I can handle that without a problem," the other nun
replied. Then she picked up a six-pack and headed for
the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on his
face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.
"We use beer for washing our hair," the nun said. "Back
at our nunnery, we call it catholic shampoo."
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the
counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and
placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the
nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: "The curlers
are on the house."
______________________________________________________
Two women were at a bar. One said, "You know, eighty
percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other, "if that caught on, that would
definitely revolutionize the game of hockey!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to my dad for this picture:
This one bloomed today.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Ryan William Dickson,
39,
Des Moines,
Iowa
Arkansas elementary school teacher arrested
for giving alcohol to minors
A Sherwood elementary school teacher accused of giving
alcohol to more than 30 minors at an after-prom party has
been suspended, a district spokesman said Monday.
Marcie Duncan, 48, who works at William Jefferson Clinton
Elementary School, is suspended pending an internal
investigation in accordance with district policy, Deb
Roush of the Pulaski County Special School District said.
Duncan teaches fourth grade and has worked at the school
for eight years, according to the school's website.
Duncan was arrested Sunday and charged with 33 counts of
contributing to the delinquency of a minor, 33 counts of
furnishing alcohol to a minor, two counts of third-degree
endangering the welfare of a minor and violation of the
Arkansas Social Host Law, according to information
provided by the Lonoke County jail.
Deputies arrested Duncan after they responded around 4
a.m. to a party on her family's property near West
Lewisburg Road, Lonoke County Sheriff John Staley said.
They found several empty alcohol containers as well as a
full-sized keg.
Duncan, who appeared intoxicated while talking to police,
said she had "everything under control" and didn't see a
problem because she had been there the entire night
making sure everyone was OK, according to a news release
from the sheriff's office.
Staley said that several intoxicated students between the
ages of 15 and 18 were passed out throughout the
premises. Others tried to hide in the nearby woods or
escape in their cars, he said.
Deputies called students' parents as well as an ambulance
for those who were extremely intoxicated, Staley said.
None was taken to a hospital for treatment.
Duncan was released from the Lonoke County jail Sunday on
a $21,000 bond, the sheriff said Monday.
4th grade, 15 - 18 years old and driving their own pick-
ups? Must be Arkansas
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: None
RE: No Question today
No question
Here is an ancient joke about tech support:
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently
need to print a document, but the computer won't
boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and
non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a
floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an intel inside. How do I get that one out? "
Tech Support: "It's actually fairly easy if you had the
IQ
chip upgraded lately. Have you had that done?"
Customer: "No, I don't think so. I'm always one of the
last to get the new stuff."
Tech Support: "OK, then go tell your manager that I
said you qualify for an IQ upgrade."
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association
(ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing
psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving
psychiatric treatment of some kind.
A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be
concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive
drug-therapy.
--------------
Dr Bubba Trailerjack, who bought his degree from
Menthol State Unifercity, summed it up quite succinctly:
"You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sweet Potato Fries
This is the easiest way I've found to make sweet potato
(or any other type of) fries.
Ingredients:
sweet potato (1 or enough to serve your family/guests)
Italian dressing (I use bottled "house" Italian)
pepper (to taste)
paprika (to taste)
The Italian dressing takes care of most of the
seasonings, and I do not need to add any more salt.
Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a jelly roll pan with
aluminum foil for easy clean up.
Wash sweet potato and cut into quarter inch fries (I
leave the skin on). Drizzle Italian dressing lightly over
fries. The amount you use will depend on the number of
potatoes you are serving. Sprinkle with seasonings (to
taste). Toss lightly with your fingers to coat all the
potatoes, then spread flat in one layer the cookie sheet.
Bake for 20-30 minutes to desired crispness. Serve with
Ranch dressing as a dip.
Source: I saw something similar for regular potatoes in a
magazine several years ago. Finally tried it with the
sweet potato fries. Yum!
By skeesics56 from NW OH
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Various organizational philosophies explained in "two
cow" terms.
Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one
and give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them
both and provides you with milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and
sells you the milk.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
milk, and then pours it down the drain.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a
bull.
Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the
other to produce the milk of four cows and then act
surprised when it drops dead.
Democratic: You have two cows. The government taxes you
to the point that you must sell them both in order to
support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow
which was a gift from your government.
Conservative: You have two cows. You hide one in the back
yard and sell the milk from it to neighbors for cash to
raise the money to pay for the tax on the front yard cow.
California: You have two cows and paint minority rights
slogans onto them. The government gives you two more
cows.
New York: You have two cows. You sell one cow so that you
can afford to send the other one to an off-shore farm on
an island that you can't find on the map.
___________________________________________________
| 42 times will get you to the moon!
|
____________________________________________________
After making a silly mistake, an instructor tried to
excuse his absentmindedness by telling the class of his
plans to propose marriage to his girlfriend later that
day.
A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked
his girlfriend to marry him as well.
"What was her answer?" the instructor asked.
"I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't
e-mailed me back yet."
__________________________________________________
When my neighbor's 3-year-old son opened the birthday
gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.
He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
His mother was not so pleased.
She turned turned her mother and said, "I'm surprised at
you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy
with water guns?"
Her mother smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember..."
____________________________________________________
| Dublin, Ireland from 100+ years ago.
|
Today on May 2
1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's
King Charles II.
1776 France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American
rebels fighting the British.
1797 A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead
to the rest of the fleet.
1798 The black General Toussaint L’ouverture forced British
troops to agree to evacuate the port of Santo Domingo.
1808 The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon.
1813 Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army at
Grossgorschen.
1865 U.S. President Andrew Johnson offered $100,000 reward for
the capture of Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
1885 The Congo Free State was established by King Leopold II
of Belgium.
1885 The magazine "Good Housekeeping" was first published.
1887 Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid
photographic film. This is the film from which movies are
shown.
1902 "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film
was released. It was created by magician George Melies.
1926 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt
and to protect U.S. interests. They did not depart until
1933.
1933 Hitler banned trade unions in Germany.
1941 Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq
and that country’s pro-German faction.
1945 Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce
house-to-house fighting. The Allies announced the surrender
of Nazi troops in Italy and parts of Austria.
1946 Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison.
1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit television
pictures across the Atlantic.
1970 Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State University
burn down the campus ROTC building. The National Guard took
control of the campus.
1974 Former U.S. Vice President Spiro T. Agnew was disbarred by
the Maryland Court of Appeals.
1974 The filming of "Jaws" began in Martha's Vineyard, MA.
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's only
cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland Islands War.
More than 350 people died.
1994 Nelson Mandela claimed victory after South Africa's first
democratic elections.
1999 In Panama, Mireya Moscoso de Grubar, of the Armulfista
Party, was elected president.
2016 smiled.
|
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Copying just a small selection Sunday, May 1, 2016, 09:07 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 1
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Iowa Man, who arrived at job interview for a taxi
company drunk and hits 2 cars in the parking lot before
going inside for his interview. Ryan William Dickson, is
arrested for drunk driving in Des Moines.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 1, in
1707 England, Wales and Scotland were united to form
Great Britain.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A crust eaten in peace is better than
a banquet partaken in anxiety.
--- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one
useless man is a shame, two is a law firm,
and three or more is a congress.
--- John Adams (1735 - 1826)
That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men.
They do not grow wise. They grow careful.
--- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the
mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned
it to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny.
When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there
are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last
time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change
for a reward."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded
about a table watching a little show. On the table was
an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy
the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing
they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in
anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot
before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single
step!"
"That's strange" said the duck's former owner,
"did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
______________________________________________________
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his
change, and then goes back and says to the cashier,
"Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"
Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We
don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing
I can do about it now.
That's the policy of the bank !"
Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know
you gave me hundred dollars too much. Bye, Bye.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Ryan William Dickson,
39,
Des Moines,
Iowa
Man arrives at job interview for a taxi
company drunk and hits 2 cars in the parking lot before
going inside for his interview. Ryan William Dickson, is
arrested for drunk driving in Des Moines, Iowa.
A Des Moines man was arrested Monday after he allegedly
drove himself drunk to an interview with a taxi cab
company, hitting parked cars in the lot.
Ryan William Dickson, 39, arrived for his interview with
Trans Iowa, a taxicab and shuttle company on Army Post
Road, at 9:25 a.m., but had a little trouble parking.
That’s likely because he blew a .273 on a preliminary
breath test, which is three-times the legal limit to
drive, according to a police report.
A woman on her smoke break saw Dickson trying to
maneuver into a parking space, but hit an adjacent car
while he was backing up, the report states.
Dickson straightened out and pulled into the space, but
he crashed into the car in front of him.
At first, Dickson told police he hadn’t been drinking,
but admitted it later.
He said he’d stopped drinking around 2 that morning and
went to the hospital for his alcohol consumption. The
hospital released him at about 8 a.m., Dickson said, but
he drank another fifth of vodka afterward, the report
states.
When police asked him to complete a walk and turn test
at the scene, Dickson began to fall and had to be caught
by officers. He said he couldn’t complete the rest of
the field sobriety test.
He was arrested for operating while intoxicated and
booked into the Polk County Jail, but was released later
that day.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Marge
RE: Copy just portions of text
Dear Webby
Now for the real question. There are times when I want to
save just one or two of the jokes but I can't seem to do
it.
What is the right way to do this?
Marge
Dear Marge
Line up the joke that you want to copy so that all of it
shows
on the screen. Click at the begin of it, hold down the
SHIFT key, and without letting go of it, click the mouse
at
the end of the joke.
Now it is highlighted.
Hit CTRL and C simultaneously to copy it.
Jump to where you want to paste it,
click at the spot where you want it,
and hit CTRL V to paste it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A man comes home late one night, drunk.
"Where have you been?" asks his wife.
"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden
glasses, golden beer, and even a golden urinal!"
This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife. She calls the
Golden Bar.
"Do you have golden chairs?"
"Yes."
"Do you have golden glasses?"
"Yes."
"Do you have golden beer?"
"Yes."
"Do you have a golden urinal?"
"Hold on."
On the other end, she hears "Hey Bob! I think we
have a line on the guy who messed up your tuba!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Kentucky Style Fried Chicken
Found this at "The Cooking Nook".
Ingredients
1 whole chicken, cut into pieces
2 - 3 eggs, beaten
3 - 4 Tbsp. oil for frying
Coating Mixture:
2 cups flour
4 tsp. paprika
2 1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 - 1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. poultry seasoning
1 tsp. thyme
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. tarragon
1/2 tsp. garlic salt
1/2 t. onion salt
1/2 tsp. celery salt
Directions
Mix together all the coating ingredients and place in a
clean plastic bag. Dip each piece into beaten egg, then
into the flour mixture in the bag. Coat the chicken
completely with the flour mixture.
Place the oil in a skillet and heat. Brown the chicken in
oil slowly (225 degrees F, if you are using an electric
skillet), uncovered. Cover the skillet and continue to
fry at a very low heat until the chicken is fully cooked,
approximately 1 hour.
Drain well on paper towels.
Tips and Variations:
This recipe can be prepared using a deep fryer and is
actually perfect for the fryer. Follow the directions on
your fryer. Make sure your oil is hot before adding the
chicken. The chicken shouldn't be greasy when it is
cooked in hot oil, but if the oil is cool, it will absorb
the grease.
By redskin. from Brockville, Ont., Can.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store,
a woman came up to my register with a package of white
athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how
the socks feel?" she asked.
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized
the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying,
"I like them."
Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she
interrupted me.
"Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
___________________________________________________
| bohemian rhapsody - cool version :)
|
____________________________________________________
Bob was having a little trouble with a leg so he
went to the doctor.
"You have a touch of gout," the doctor said.
"I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking
and sex for a while."
"What?" said the man. "Just so I can walk a little better?
Forget it !"
__________________________________________________
During her stay at an expensive hotel in Sue woke upin
the middle of the night with an upset stomach. She called
room service and ordered some soda crackers. When
she looked at the charge slip, she was instantly furious.
Sue calledroom service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury
hotel,but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"
"The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other
end cooly explained........."Ma'am, I believe you are
complaining about your room number sir."
____________________________________________________
| Welcome to Longyearbyen, the Northernmost Town on Earth
|
Today on May 1
0408 Theodosius II succeeded to the throne of Constantinople.
1308 King Albert was murdered by his nephew John, because
he refused his share of the Hapbsburg lands.
1486 Christopher Columbus convinced Queen Isabella to fund
an expedition to the West Indies.
1707 England, Wales and Scotland were united to form Great Britain.
1805 The state of Virginia passed a law requiring all freed
slaves to leave the state, or risk either imprisonment or
deportation.
1863 In Virginia, the Battle of Chancellorsville began.
General Robert E. Lee's forces began fighting with Union
troops under General Joseph Hooker. Confederate General
Stonewall Jackson was mortally wounded by his own soldiers
in this battle. (May 1-4)
1867 Reconstruction in the South began with black voter registration.
1877 U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes withdrew all Federal
troops from the South, ending Reconstruction.
1884 The construction of the first American 10-story
building began in Chicago, IL.
1889 Asa Candler published a full-page advertisement in The
Atlanta Journal, proclaiming his wholesale and retail drug
business as "sole proprietors of Coca-Cola ... Delicious.
Refreshing. Exhilarating. Invigorating." Mr. Candler did
not actually achieve sole ownership until 1891 at a cost
of $2,300.
1898 The U.S. Navy under Dewey defeated the Spanish fleet
at Manila Bay in the Philippines.
1905 In New York, radium was tested as a cure for cancer.
1915 A German submarine sank the U.S. ship Gulflight.
1927 Adolf Hitler held his first Nazi meeting in Berlin.
1931 The Empire State Building in New York was dedicated
and opened. It was 102 stories tall and was the tallest
building in the world at the time.
1934 The Philippine legislature accepted a U.S. proposal
for independence.
1937 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed an act of
neutrality, keeping the United States out of World War II.
1944 The Messerschmitt Me 262, the first combat jet,
made its first flight.
1945 Martin Bormann, private secretary to Adolf Hitler,
escaped from the Fuehrerbunker as the Red Army
advanced on Berlin.
1945 Admiral Karl Doenitz succeeded Hitler as leader of
the Third Reich. This was one day after Hitler suicided.
1948 The People's Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea)
was proclaimed.
1958 James Van Allen reported that two radiation belts
encircled Earth.
1960 Francis Gary Powers' U-2 spy plane was shot down over
the Soviet Union. Powers was taken prisoner.
1961 Fidel Castro announced there would be no more
elections in Cuba.
1967 Anastasio Somoza Debayle became president of Nicaragua.
1968 In the second day of battle, U.S. Marines, with the
support of naval fire, continue their attack on a North
Vietnamese Division at Dai Do.
1970 Students at Kent State University riot in downtown
Kent, OH, in protest of the American invasion of Cambodia.
1981 The Japanese government announced that it would limit
passenger car exports to the United States over the next
three years.
1986 The Tass News Agency reported the Chernobyl nuclear
power plant accident.
1986 Bill Elliott set a stock car speed record with his
Ford Thunderbird in Talladega, AL. Elliott reached a
speed of 212.229 mph.
1992 On the third day of the Los Angeles riots resulting
from the Rodney King beating trial, King appeared in
public to appeal for calm, he asked, "Can we all get along?"
1998 Arrow Air was fined $5 million for using spare parts
that lacked federal approval in the U.S.
1999 On Mount Everest, a group of U.S. mountain climbers
discovered the body of George Mallory. Mallory had died in
June of 1924 while trying to become the first person to
reach the summit of Everest. At the time of the discovery
it was unclear whether or not Mallory had actually
reached the summit.
2001 Chandra Levy was last seen in Washington, DC. Her
remains were found in Rock Creek Park on May 22, 2002.
California Congressman Gary Condit was questioned in
the case due to his relationship with Levy.
2011 It was announced that U.S. soldiers had killed Osama
bin Laden in Pakistan.
2016 smiled.
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Italian Valleys
From FB
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From Noella
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From FB
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From FB
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Due to lack of Gullible Warming the Easter Cacti are a
bit late this year. These bloomed today.
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From FB
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Patagonia From FB
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From FB
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From FB
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From FB
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From FB
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These bloomed today
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From FB
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From FB
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From FB
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From FB
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From FB
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This one bloomed today.
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