Monday, May 2, 2016, 10:42 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 2
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Arkansas elementary school teacher arrested
for giving alcohol to minors
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 2, in
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's
only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland
Islands War. More than 350 people died.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
"No matter how much cats fight,
there always seems to be plenty of kittens."
--- Abraham Lincoln
There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher
has said it.
--- Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is
waiting anxiously outside the maternity ward where his
wife is having their first baby. He is pacing the floor
when the nurse comes out and says, "You have a little
boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better go out and have a cup
of coffee, because there may be another one."
Swampy turns a little pale and leaves. Some time later he
phones the hospital and is told that he the father of
twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another
one on the way, so call back later."
At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough,
so he goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones
the hospital again he is told that the third baby has
arrived and a fourth is on the way.
White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a double
scotch.
Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is
so drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the
recorded cricket game score. When they pick him up off
the floor the recording is still going strong:
"The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and
the last one was a duck."
He passed out.
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Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed
by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "Wouldn't
a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer
evening?"
The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, sister. But I
would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am
certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand."
"I can handle that without a problem," the other nun
replied. Then she picked up a six-pack and headed for
the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on his
face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.
"We use beer for washing our hair," the nun said. "Back
at our nunnery, we call it catholic shampoo."
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the
counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and
placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the
nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: "The curlers
are on the house."
______________________________________________________
Two women were at a bar. One said, "You know, eighty
percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love."
"Well," said the other, "if that caught on, that would
definitely revolutionize the game of hockey!"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to my dad for this picture:
This one bloomed today.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Ryan William Dickson,
39,
Des Moines,
Iowa
Arkansas elementary school teacher arrested
for giving alcohol to minors
A Sherwood elementary school teacher accused of giving
alcohol to more than 30 minors at an after-prom party has
been suspended, a district spokesman said Monday.
Marcie Duncan, 48, who works at William Jefferson Clinton
Elementary School, is suspended pending an internal
investigation in accordance with district policy, Deb
Roush of the Pulaski County Special School District said.
Duncan teaches fourth grade and has worked at the school
for eight years, according to the school's website.
Duncan was arrested Sunday and charged with 33 counts of
contributing to the delinquency of a minor, 33 counts of
furnishing alcohol to a minor, two counts of third-degree
endangering the welfare of a minor and violation of the
Arkansas Social Host Law, according to information
provided by the Lonoke County jail.
Deputies arrested Duncan after they responded around 4
a.m. to a party on her family's property near West
Lewisburg Road, Lonoke County Sheriff John Staley said.
They found several empty alcohol containers as well as a
full-sized keg.
Duncan, who appeared intoxicated while talking to police,
said she had "everything under control" and didn't see a
problem because she had been there the entire night
making sure everyone was OK, according to a news release
from the sheriff's office.
Staley said that several intoxicated students between the
ages of 15 and 18 were passed out throughout the
premises. Others tried to hide in the nearby woods or
escape in their cars, he said.
Deputies called students' parents as well as an ambulance
for those who were extremely intoxicated, Staley said.
None was taken to a hospital for treatment.
Duncan was released from the Lonoke County jail Sunday on
a $21,000 bond, the sheriff said Monday.
4th grade, 15 - 18 years old and driving their own pick-
ups? Must be Arkansas
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: None
RE: No Question today
No question
Here is an ancient joke about tech support:
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently
need to print a document, but the computer won't
boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and
non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a
floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an intel inside. How do I get that one out? "
Tech Support: "It's actually fairly easy if you had the
IQ
chip upgraded lately. Have you had that done?"
Customer: "No, I don't think so. I'm always one of the
last to get the new stuff."
Tech Support: "OK, then go tell your manager that I
said you qualify for an IQ upgrade."
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association
(ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing
psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving
psychiatric treatment of some kind.
A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be
concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive
drug-therapy.
--------------
Dr Bubba Trailerjack, who bought his degree from
Menthol State Unifercity, summed it up quite succinctly:
"You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sweet Potato Fries
This is the easiest way I've found to make sweet potato
(or any other type of) fries.
Ingredients:
sweet potato (1 or enough to serve your family/guests)
Italian dressing (I use bottled "house" Italian)
pepper (to taste)
paprika (to taste)
The Italian dressing takes care of most of the
seasonings, and I do not need to add any more salt.
Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a jelly roll pan with
aluminum foil for easy clean up.
Wash sweet potato and cut into quarter inch fries (I
leave the skin on). Drizzle Italian dressing lightly over
fries. The amount you use will depend on the number of
potatoes you are serving. Sprinkle with seasonings (to
taste). Toss lightly with your fingers to coat all the
potatoes, then spread flat in one layer the cookie sheet.
Bake for 20-30 minutes to desired crispness. Serve with
Ranch dressing as a dip.
Source: I saw something similar for regular potatoes in a
magazine several years ago. Finally tried it with the
sweet potato fries. Yum!
By skeesics56 from NW OH
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Various organizational philosophies explained in "two
cow" terms.
Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one
and give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them
both and provides you with milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and
sells you the milk.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the
milk, and then pours it down the drain.
Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a
bull.
Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the
other to produce the milk of four cows and then act
surprised when it drops dead.
Democratic: You have two cows. The government taxes you
to the point that you must sell them both in order to
support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow
which was a gift from your government.
Conservative: You have two cows. You hide one in the back
yard and sell the milk from it to neighbors for cash to
raise the money to pay for the tax on the front yard cow.
California: You have two cows and paint minority rights
slogans onto them. The government gives you two more
cows.
New York: You have two cows. You sell one cow so that you
can afford to send the other one to an off-shore farm on
an island that you can't find on the map.
___________________________________________________
 | 42 times will get you to the moon!
|
____________________________________________________
After making a silly mistake, an instructor tried to
excuse his absentmindedness by telling the class of his
plans to propose marriage to his girlfriend later that
day.
A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked
his girlfriend to marry him as well.
"What was her answer?" the instructor asked.
"I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't
e-mailed me back yet."
__________________________________________________
When my neighbor's 3-year-old son opened the birthday
gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.
He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
His mother was not so pleased.
She turned turned her mother and said, "I'm surprised at
you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy
with water guns?"
Her mother smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember..."
____________________________________________________
 | Dublin, Ireland from 100+ years ago.
|
Today on May 2
1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's
King Charles II.
1776 France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American
rebels fighting the British.
1797 A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead
to the rest of the fleet.
1798 The black General Toussaint L’ouverture forced British
troops to agree to evacuate the port of Santo Domingo.
1808 The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon.
1813 Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army at
Grossgorschen.
1865 U.S. President Andrew Johnson offered $100,000 reward for
the capture of Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
1885 The Congo Free State was established by King Leopold II
of Belgium.
1885 The magazine "Good Housekeeping" was first published.
1887 Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid
photographic film. This is the film from which movies are
shown.
1902 "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film
was released. It was created by magician George Melies.
1926 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt
and to protect U.S. interests. They did not depart until
1933.
1933 Hitler banned trade unions in Germany.
1941 Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq
and that country’s pro-German faction.
1945 Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce
house-to-house fighting. The Allies announced the surrender
of Nazi troops in Italy and parts of Austria.
1946 Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison.
1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit television
pictures across the Atlantic.
1970 Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State University
burn down the campus ROTC building. The National Guard took
control of the campus.
1974 Former U.S. Vice President Spiro T. Agnew was disbarred by
the Maryland Court of Appeals.
1974 The filming of "Jaws" began in Martha's Vineyard, MA.
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's only
cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland Islands War.
More than 350 people died.
1994 Nelson Mandela claimed victory after South Africa's first
democratic elections.
1999 In Panama, Mireya Moscoso de Grubar, of the Armulfista
Party, was elected president.
2016 smiled.
|
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Copying just a small selection Sunday, May 1, 2016, 09:07 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 1
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Iowa Man, who arrived at job interview for a taxi
company drunk and hits 2 cars in the parking lot before
going inside for his interview. Ryan William Dickson, is
arrested for drunk driving in Des Moines.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, May 1, in
1707 England, Wales and Scotland were united to form
Great Britain.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A crust eaten in peace is better than
a banquet partaken in anxiety.
--- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one
useless man is a shame, two is a law firm,
and three or more is a congress.
--- John Adams (1735 - 1826)
That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men.
They do not grow wise. They grow careful.
--- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the
mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned
it to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny.
When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there
are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last
time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change
for a reward."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded
about a table watching a little show. On the table was
an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it.
The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy
the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing
they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in
anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot
before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single
step!"
"That's strange" said the duck's former owner,
"did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
______________________________________________________
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his
change, and then goes back and says to the cashier,
"Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"
Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We
don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing
I can do about it now.
That's the policy of the bank !"
Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know
you gave me hundred dollars too much. Bye, Bye.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Ryan William Dickson,
39,
Des Moines,
Iowa
Man arrives at job interview for a taxi
company drunk and hits 2 cars in the parking lot before
going inside for his interview. Ryan William Dickson, is
arrested for drunk driving in Des Moines, Iowa.
A Des Moines man was arrested Monday after he allegedly
drove himself drunk to an interview with a taxi cab
company, hitting parked cars in the lot.
Ryan William Dickson, 39, arrived for his interview with
Trans Iowa, a taxicab and shuttle company on Army Post
Road, at 9:25 a.m., but had a little trouble parking.
That’s likely because he blew a .273 on a preliminary
breath test, which is three-times the legal limit to
drive, according to a police report.
A woman on her smoke break saw Dickson trying to
maneuver into a parking space, but hit an adjacent car
while he was backing up, the report states.
Dickson straightened out and pulled into the space, but
he crashed into the car in front of him.
At first, Dickson told police he hadn’t been drinking,
but admitted it later.
He said he’d stopped drinking around 2 that morning and
went to the hospital for his alcohol consumption. The
hospital released him at about 8 a.m., Dickson said, but
he drank another fifth of vodka afterward, the report
states.
When police asked him to complete a walk and turn test
at the scene, Dickson began to fall and had to be caught
by officers. He said he couldn’t complete the rest of
the field sobriety test.
He was arrested for operating while intoxicated and
booked into the Polk County Jail, but was released later
that day.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Marge
RE: Copy just portions of text
Dear Webby
Now for the real question. There are times when I want to
save just one or two of the jokes but I can't seem to do
it.
What is the right way to do this?
Marge
Dear Marge
Line up the joke that you want to copy so that all of it
shows
on the screen. Click at the begin of it, hold down the
SHIFT key, and without letting go of it, click the mouse
at
the end of the joke.
Now it is highlighted.
Hit CTRL and C simultaneously to copy it.
Jump to where you want to paste it,
click at the spot where you want it,
and hit CTRL V to paste it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A man comes home late one night, drunk.
"Where have you been?" asks his wife.
"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden
glasses, golden beer, and even a golden urinal!"
This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife. She calls the
Golden Bar.
"Do you have golden chairs?"
"Yes."
"Do you have golden glasses?"
"Yes."
"Do you have golden beer?"
"Yes."
"Do you have a golden urinal?"
"Hold on."
On the other end, she hears "Hey Bob! I think we
have a line on the guy who messed up your tuba!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Kentucky Style Fried Chicken
Found this at "The Cooking Nook".
Ingredients
1 whole chicken, cut into pieces
2 - 3 eggs, beaten
3 - 4 Tbsp. oil for frying
Coating Mixture:
2 cups flour
4 tsp. paprika
2 1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 - 1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. poultry seasoning
1 tsp. thyme
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. tarragon
1/2 tsp. garlic salt
1/2 t. onion salt
1/2 tsp. celery salt
Directions
Mix together all the coating ingredients and place in a
clean plastic bag. Dip each piece into beaten egg, then
into the flour mixture in the bag. Coat the chicken
completely with the flour mixture.
Place the oil in a skillet and heat. Brown the chicken in
oil slowly (225 degrees F, if you are using an electric
skillet), uncovered. Cover the skillet and continue to
fry at a very low heat until the chicken is fully cooked,
approximately 1 hour.
Drain well on paper towels.
Tips and Variations:
This recipe can be prepared using a deep fryer and is
actually perfect for the fryer. Follow the directions on
your fryer. Make sure your oil is hot before adding the
chicken. The chicken shouldn't be greasy when it is
cooked in hot oil, but if the oil is cool, it will absorb
the grease.
By redskin. from Brockville, Ont., Can.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store,
a woman came up to my register with a package of white
athletic socks. "Will you open this up so I can see how
the socks feel?" she asked.
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized
the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying,
"I like them."
Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she
interrupted me.
"Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
___________________________________________________
| bohemian rhapsody - cool version :)
|
____________________________________________________
Bob was having a little trouble with a leg so he
went to the doctor.
"You have a touch of gout," the doctor said.
"I recommend that you give up smoking, drinking
and sex for a while."
"What?" said the man. "Just so I can walk a little better?
Forget it !"
__________________________________________________
During her stay at an expensive hotel in Sue woke upin
the middle of the night with an upset stomach. She called
room service and ordered some soda crackers. When
she looked at the charge slip, she was instantly furious.
Sue calledroom service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury
hotel,but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"
"The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other
end cooly explained........."Ma'am, I believe you are
complaining about your room number sir."
____________________________________________________
| Welcome to Longyearbyen, the Northernmost Town on Earth
|
Today on May 1
0408 Theodosius II succeeded to the throne of Constantinople.
1308 King Albert was murdered by his nephew John, because
he refused his share of the Hapbsburg lands.
1486 Christopher Columbus convinced Queen Isabella to fund
an expedition to the West Indies.
1707 England, Wales and Scotland were united to form Great Britain.
1805 The state of Virginia passed a law requiring all freed
slaves to leave the state, or risk either imprisonment or
deportation.
1863 In Virginia, the Battle of Chancellorsville began.
General Robert E. Lee's forces began fighting with Union
troops under General Joseph Hooker. Confederate General
Stonewall Jackson was mortally wounded by his own soldiers
in this battle. (May 1-4)
1867 Reconstruction in the South began with black voter registration.
1877 U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes withdrew all Federal
troops from the South, ending Reconstruction.
1884 The construction of the first American 10-story
building began in Chicago, IL.
1889 Asa Candler published a full-page advertisement in The
Atlanta Journal, proclaiming his wholesale and retail drug
business as "sole proprietors of Coca-Cola ... Delicious.
Refreshing. Exhilarating. Invigorating." Mr. Candler did
not actually achieve sole ownership until 1891 at a cost
of $2,300.
1898 The U.S. Navy under Dewey defeated the Spanish fleet
at Manila Bay in the Philippines.
1905 In New York, radium was tested as a cure for cancer.
1915 A German submarine sank the U.S. ship Gulflight.
1927 Adolf Hitler held his first Nazi meeting in Berlin.
1931 The Empire State Building in New York was dedicated
and opened. It was 102 stories tall and was the tallest
building in the world at the time.
1934 The Philippine legislature accepted a U.S. proposal
for independence.
1937 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed an act of
neutrality, keeping the United States out of World War II.
1944 The Messerschmitt Me 262, the first combat jet,
made its first flight.
1945 Martin Bormann, private secretary to Adolf Hitler,
escaped from the Fuehrerbunker as the Red Army
advanced on Berlin.
1945 Admiral Karl Doenitz succeeded Hitler as leader of
the Third Reich. This was one day after Hitler suicided.
1948 The People's Democratic Republic of Korea (North Korea)
was proclaimed.
1958 James Van Allen reported that two radiation belts
encircled Earth.
1960 Francis Gary Powers' U-2 spy plane was shot down over
the Soviet Union. Powers was taken prisoner.
1961 Fidel Castro announced there would be no more
elections in Cuba.
1967 Anastasio Somoza Debayle became president of Nicaragua.
1968 In the second day of battle, U.S. Marines, with the
support of naval fire, continue their attack on a North
Vietnamese Division at Dai Do.
1970 Students at Kent State University riot in downtown
Kent, OH, in protest of the American invasion of Cambodia.
1981 The Japanese government announced that it would limit
passenger car exports to the United States over the next
three years.
1986 The Tass News Agency reported the Chernobyl nuclear
power plant accident.
1986 Bill Elliott set a stock car speed record with his
Ford Thunderbird in Talladega, AL. Elliott reached a
speed of 212.229 mph.
1992 On the third day of the Los Angeles riots resulting
from the Rodney King beating trial, King appeared in
public to appeal for calm, he asked, "Can we all get along?"
1998 Arrow Air was fined $5 million for using spare parts
that lacked federal approval in the U.S.
1999 On Mount Everest, a group of U.S. mountain climbers
discovered the body of George Mallory. Mallory had died in
June of 1924 while trying to become the first person to
reach the summit of Everest. At the time of the discovery
it was unclear whether or not Mallory had actually
reached the summit.
2001 Chandra Levy was last seen in Washington, DC. Her
remains were found in Rock Creek Park on May 22, 2002.
California Congressman Gary Condit was questioned in
the case due to his relationship with Levy.
2011 It was announced that U.S. soldiers had killed Osama
bin Laden in Pakistan.
2016 smiled.
|
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Is it necessary to back up drivers? Saturday, April 30, 2016, 08:43 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, April 30
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
NC man arrested when he tried to pay
bail with counterfeit money
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 30, in
1803 The U.S. purchased the Louisiana Territory from
France for $15 million.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many
for appointment by the corrupt few.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
--- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000)
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
there to appreciate it."
--- Franklin P. Jones
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Women hate self-service gas stations.
The service is always so poor ... and slow too.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
When a physician remarked on a new patient's
extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood
pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" Doc asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family."
"Oh, come now," Doc said. "How could your wife's family
give you high blood pressure?"
He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime!"
______________________________________________________
Three old pilots walking on the ramp. The first one says,
"Windy, isn't it?"
Second one yells in reply, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one hollers back, "So am I. Let's go get a beer!"
______________________________________________________
Taber
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
David Bailey,
31,
Albany,
Indiana
Indiana REGIONAL
Burglar sues homeowner claiming he suffered 'serious and
permanent damage' when he was shot in the arm by the
resident as he fled the scene
A burglar who broke into an Indiana man's garage two
years ago has sued the homeowner for shooting him during
the incident.
David Bailey, now 31, of Albany, Indiana, broke into
David McLaughlin's Dunkirk garage on April 21, 2014,
authorities said.
McLaughlin, now 33, fired gunshots at the intruder as he
fled, hitting Bailey in the left arm as he ran through an
alley.
Bailey's lawsuit, which was filed last week against
McLaughlin, asks for 'a monetary award in an amount
sufficient to compensate (Bailey) for all damages',
according to KSDK.
David Bailey (pictured), 31, of Albany, Indiana, broke
into David McLaughlin's Dunkirk garage on April 21, 2014
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Brie
RE: Driver Updates
Dear Webby
Our consultant tried to sell us a program that backs up
all the drivers for printers and so on. Do we really
need that?
Brie
Dear Brie
I used to back up drivers but found that to be a silly
nuisance.
Some of them won't install properly unless installed from
the CD that came with the device they are for, and some
have become obsolete. For example, if you send a printer
to the garage sale and get a new one, do you really
bother to get rid of the driver for the old one? The same
goes for fax programs. Each one that you try and discard
leaves behind a driver. That of course leads to a
dangerous accumulation of drivers that may or may not
interfere with each other or other programs. At best they
waste time during start-up, at worst they prevent
programs or devices from operating as well as they
should.
Drivers are easy enough to download from the
manufacturers web site, and if you get a CD with a new
device, store that in a ziplock bag taped to the side of
the computer or desk. That way, if you replace the
harddrive or the computer, you got everything handy.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
At 75 Millie still walked down to the park every day, sat
on "HER" bench and fed old bread from the old folks home
kitchen to the birds.
One day she picked up a whole loaf that had gone past
it's prime instead of the buns she usually got.
Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each bird with
joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in the
rich suburban neighborhood.
Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on her
parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away
good food on a bunch of dumb birds that could find food
anywhere when there are a lot of people starving in
Africa.
She smiled at him and exclaimed:" That is an excellent
idea!"
Then she handed him the half loaf of bread she still had,
and said: "Here, you bring it to them."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Kentucky Style Fried Chicken
Found this at "The Cooking Nook".
Ingredients
1 whole chicken, cut into pieces
2 - 3 eggs, beaten
3 - 4 Tbsp. oil for frying
Coating Mixture:
2 cups flour
4 tsp. paprika
2 1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 - 1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. poultry seasoning
1 tsp. thyme
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. tarragon
1/2 tsp. garlic salt
1/2 t. onion salt
1/2 tsp. celery salt
Directions
Mix together all the coating ingredients and place in a
clean plastic bag. Dip each piece into beaten egg, then
into the flour mixture in the bag. Coat the chicken
completely with the flour mixture.
Place the oil in a skillet and heat. Brown the chicken in
oil slowly (225 degrees F, if you are using an electric
skillet), uncovered. Cover the skillet and continue to
fry at a very low heat until the chicken is fully cooked,
approximately 1 hour.
Drain well on paper towels.
Tips and Variations:
This recipe can be prepared using a deep fryer and is
actually perfect for the fryer. Follow the directions on
your fryer. Make sure your oil is hot before adding the
chicken. The chicken shouldn't be greasy when it is
cooked in hot oil, but if the oil is cool, it will absorb
the grease.
By redskin. from Brockville, Ont., Can.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a
drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of
picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his
horse had been stolen.
He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into
the air, catches it above his head without even looking
and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?"
he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
"I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back
outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun
back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun
back in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly.
He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was
back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town.
The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked,
"Say partner, what happened in Texas?"
The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."
___________________________________________________
| mason bee pulling a nail out of a cement block
|
____________________________________________________
Groan Alert !
From Ms Myrna
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
__________________________________________________
An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-
examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been
married?"
"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."
"Whom did you marry?"
"Well, a woman."
The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman.
Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"
The witness said meekly, "MY mother did."
____________________________________________________
| 25 Cell Phone Towers Disguised to Look Like Something Else
|
Today on April 30
0030 Jesus of Nazareth was crucified.
0313 Licinius unified the whole of the eastern empire.
1250 King Louis IX of France was ransomed for one million dollars.
1803 The U.S. purchased the Louisiana Territory from France
for $15 million.
1849 The republican patriot and guerrilla leader Giuseppe
Garabaldi repulsed a French attack on Rome.
1864 Work began on the Dams along the Red River. The work would
allow Union General Nathaniel Banks' troops to sail over the
rapids above Alexandria, Louisiana.
1900 Hawaii was organized as an official U.S. territory.
1900 Casey Jones was killed while trying to save the runaway
train "Cannonball Express."
1938 Happy Rabbit appeared in the cartoon "Porky's Hare Hunt."
This rabbit would later evolve into Bugs Bunny.
1939 The first railroad car equipped with fluorescent lights
was put into service. The train car was known as the
"General Pershing Zephyr."
1943 The British submarine HMS Seraph dropped 'the man who
never was,' a dead man the British planted with false
invasion plans, into the Mediterranean off the coast
of Spain.
1945 Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun committed suicide. They had
been married for one day. One week later Germany surrendered
unconditionally.
1947 The name of Boulder Dam, in Nevada, was changed back
to Hoover Dam.
1964 The FCC ruled that all TV receivers should be equipped to
receive both VHF and UHF channels.
1968 U.S. Marines attacked a division of North Vietnamese in
the village of Dai Do.
1970 U.S. troops invaded Cambodia to disrupt North Vietnamese
Army base areas. The announcement by U.S. President Nixon
led to widespread protests.
1972 The North Vietnamese launched an invasion of the South.
1975 Communist North Vietnamese troops entered the
Independence Palace of South Vietnam in Saigon. 11 Marines
lifted off of the U.S. Embassy were the last soldiers to
evacuate.
1980 Terrorists seized the Iranian Embassy in London.
1984 U.S. President Reagan signed cultural and scientific
agreements with China. He also signed a tax accord that
would make it easier for American companies to operate
in China.
1991 An estimated 125,000 people were killed in a cyclone
that hit Bangladesh.
1998 NATO was expanded to include Poland, Hungary and the
Czech Republic. The three nations were formally admitted
the following April at NATO's 50th anniversary summit.
1998 United and Delta airlines announced their alliance that
would give them control of 1/3 of all U.S. passenger seats.
1998 In the U.S., Federal regulators fined a contractor
$2.25 million for improper handling of oxygen canisters on
ValuJet that crashed in the Florida Everglades in 1996.
2002 Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf was
overwhelmingly approved for another five years as
president.
2016 smiled.
|
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| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 740 )
How to avoid network Logon hassle Friday, April 29, 2016, 11:18 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
NC man arrested when he tried to pay
bail with counterfeit money
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 29, in
1429 Joan of Arc lead Orleans, France, to victory over
Britain.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
--- Donald H. Rumsfeld
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous,
the sensible man hardly anything.
--- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a
London bus for five miles along its route, all the while
attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the
conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up:
"You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please,
and 10p for your suitcase."
The Scotsman responds: "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare,
just got on this vera moment."
They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more
and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over
London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls
it out of the bus.
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace.
The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the
ticket collector, "Not only are ya trin' to overcharge
me for the ticket -- but now you're gone 'n drowned me
boy Jonny."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
During a readiness exerciseBob and Jim were guarding the
entrance to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were
kept.
When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached
without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for
it.
"I don't see why I have to show you my ID," the pilot
snapped.
"After all, it is my plane."
"Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane," replied
Jim, "but it's sitting in my garage, and if you don't change
your attitude right f....riendly now,
you will never see it again!"
______________________________________________________
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!
Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually.
Liz: I'm the examiner!
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Jarious Treymayne Mock
20
High Point,
North Carolina
NC man arrested when he tried to pay
bail with counterfeit money
A 20-year-old High Point man's bail jumped from $200 to
$2,000 tonight after authorities added charges that he
tried to pay his original bail with counterfeit money.
Magistrates said it all started when Jarious Treymayne
Mock
of 728 Forrest St. walked out of a Greensboro night club,
saw
nearby police officers and yelled, “Screw the police,”
but in
a more graphic manner.
That got the Greensboro officers’ attention, magistrates
said.
The officers ran a check on Mock and found he was wanted
on a
warrant on a charge of failing to appear in court, a
charge
that normally carries a $200 bail.
As he was processed in the Guilford County jail, officers
asked him if he’d like to pay his bail with cash in his
wallet. He agreed and officers pulled money out of the
wallet. Authorities said a $100 bill and a $20 bill from
the
wallet were both counterfeit.
Mock now faces a charge of possession of a counterfeit
instrument or currency. He remains in the Guilford County
jail. His bail is now $2,000.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Don
RE: Network Logon Hassle
Dear Webby
my day would not be complete with out the Humor Letter, I
love it, thanks for sending it to me. I have a problem, I
recently sign up for SBC DSL and after installing the
software for it, I now receive the following message
every time I boot my computer:
"Enter your network password for Microsoft Networking",
I haven't put in a password because I don't want that
message to come up every time the computer is booted. Can
you tell me what to do to get rid of the message, so I
don't have to click cancel every time I boot?
Thank you for your help.
Don
Dear Don
Try this:
Click the Start menu, mouse over Settings, then click the
control panel.
Double-click the Network icon.
Under "Primary Network Logon," selected the "Microsoft
Network Logon." Depending on your version and set-up,
you may have to mouse around a bit there till you find
the spot to give the primary network user a name. Any
short nickname usually does the trick.
After restarting, when the logon window comes up, enter
that user name, leave the password blank, and hit Enter.
When your computer asks you to confirm that blank
password, hit Enter again.
After that, you should never see the logon screen again.
That blank password trick does not work when the user
has not been given a name.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Computer users are divided into three types:
novice, intermediate and expert.
Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing
a key might break their computer.
Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their
computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert Users - People who press keys on other peoples
computers.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recycled Drink Bottle for Watering Seeds
By ShirleyE [71 Posts, 53 Comments]
Seeds and seedlings of course need watering carefully so they
don't get battered or washed about. If you don't have a small
watering can you can use a drink bottle.
Carefully make holes in the lid. This is best done with a
drill bit, but if you don't possess a drill you can use
pointed scissors. Be very careful if using scissors as they
can slip or pierce quite suddenly and injure you. Make sure
you use a wooden board and press the scissor point directly
downwards.
Now you can fill the bottle, replace the lid and use it like
a watering can.
Do yourself a favor and use a nail to poke the holes.
Scissors tend to suddenly close and hurt you. Nails won't
do that.
By the way, if you don't have a hammer, use a package of
frozen ground meat as a hammer, not an expensive shoe!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word
spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor.
"'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to
place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain
attempt to do that."
___________________________________________________
| for mother's day
|
____________________________________________________
Coming out of church, Mrs. Smith asked her husband,
"Do you think that Johnson girl is tinting her hair?"
"I didn't notice," admitted Mr. Smith.
"And that dress Mrs. Davis was wearing," continued Mrs.
Smith, "Really, don't tell me you think that's the
proper outfit for a mother of two."
"I'm afraid I didn't notice that either," said Mr. Smith.
"Oh, for heaven's sake," snapped Mrs. Smith. "A lot of
good it does you to go to church!"
__________________________________________________
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking
about something his lover said.
After marriage, many men fall asleep before their wife
finishes talking.
____________________________________________________
| A Giant Gallery of Unique Staircase Designs. I would fall through some of these!
|
Today on April 29
1289 Qala'un, the Sultan of Egypt, captured Tripoli.
1429 Joan of Arc lead Orleans, France, to victory over Britain.
1661 The Chinese Ming dynasty occupied Taiwan.
1672 King Louis XIV of France invaded the Netherlands.
1813 Rubber was patented by J.F. Hummel.
1852 The first edition of Peter Roget's Thesaurus published.
1858 Austrian troops invaded Piedmont.
1862 New Orleans fell to Union forces during the Civil War.
1913 Gideon Sundback patented an all-purpose zipper.
1924 An open revolt broke out in Santa Clara, Cuba.
1927 Construction of the Spirit of St. Louis was
completed for Lindbergh.
1945 The German Army in Italy surrendered
unconditionally to the Allies.
1945 In a bunker in Berlin, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun
were married. Hitler designated Admiral Karl Doenitz
his successor.
1946 Twenty-eight former Japanese leaders were indicted
in Tokyo as war criminals.
1974 U.S. President Nixon announced he was releasing
edited transcripts of secretly made White House tape
recordings related to the Watergate scandal.
1975 The U.S. embassy in Vietnam was evacuated as North
Vietnamese forces fought their way into Saigon.
1984 In California, the Diablo Canyon nuclear reactor
went online after a long delay due to protests.
1990 The destruction of the Berlin Wall began.
1992 Exxon executive Sidney Reso was kidnapped outside
his Morris Township, NJ, home by Arthur Seale. Seale
was a former Exxon security official. Reso died while
in captivity.
1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit
four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating
trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days.
1994 Israel and the PLO signed an agreement in Paris which
granted Palestinians broad authority to set taxes,
control trade and regulate banks under self-rule in the
Gaza Strip and Jericho.
1998 The U.S., Canada and Mexico end tariffs on $1 billion
in NAFTA trade.
1998 Brazil announced a plan to protect a large area of
Amazon forest. The area was about the size of Colorado.
2009 NATO expelled two Russian diplomats from NATO
headquarters in Brussels over a spy scandal in Estonia.
Russia's Foreign Ministry criticized the expulsions.
2016 smiled.
|
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| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 767 )
Adding a wireless machine to a wired W10 network Thursday, April 28, 2016, 09:57 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 28
The fox at the end of the street has 2 young ones this year,
and they were outside the first time today, bouncing around,
chasing bugs and butterflies as if they had not made up their
mind whether they are going to be pups or kittens. I'll take
my camera along on my walk tomorrow evening.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
PA woman, who was arrested after she was found with
counterfeit credit cards, fake IDs and erratically
driving a $125,000 BMW, that was not hers.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 28, in
1789:A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a
rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island.
The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've
noticed
those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.
--- Bethania McKenstry
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that
never were; and I say, 'Why not?
--- George Bernard Shaw
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
==From Jennie
Dear Webby, at one time you had some funny description
of men and women as if they were chemical elements. Do
you still have those and could you run them again?
Please and Thank You
Jenni===
Here they are:
"Periodic Elements"
Valuable scientific data. Two proposed new additions to the
periodic table (from Chemistry class)elements:
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at
nothing
and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses
strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious
stones.
Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of
exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a
shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for
dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income
reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets
bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any
chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with
itself.
Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child)
for prolonged period of time.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: Good methane source. Some specimens are able
to produce large quantities especially at inappropriate
times.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly
decomposes and begins to smell.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.
He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish,
but only one - none of that three wishes jazz, OK?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I have always
wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because
I'm afraid of flying, and ships make me claustrophobic and
ill.
So, I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie was taken aback a bit, but after some thought said,
"No, I don't think I can do that; think about the pilings
needed
to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be
to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement
and steal and concrete that would be needed. I'm sorry, you
will have to choose another wish."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie,
"There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would
like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh
and cry, why do they get upset at us so easily, what are
their true desires and needs? What do they mean when they say
"Nothing!". Basically what makes them tick?!"
The genie stared at him and blinked a couple times.
"So, do you want two lanes or four?"
______________________________________________________
An older couple regularly attended church. The pastor was
much impressed by how harmonious and how in love they
seemed. They always held hands all through the service.
One day after church, the pastor couldn't resist going up to
them to express his admiration. He said, "I find it so
inspirational to see how deeply in love you are, even, after
all these years, holding hands like that."
The wife looked up sharply and said, "It's not love, Pastor,
I'm just keeping him from cracking his knuckles."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Markia Cherise Williams,
19
Willington,
Pennsylvania
PA woman arrested after she was found with
counterfeit credit cards, fake IDs and erratically
driving a $125,000 BMW, that was not hers.
Connecticut State Police arrested a Pennsylvania woman on
identity theft charges after they stopped a 2016 BMW they
said may have been purchased fraudulently.
Officers arrested Markia Cherise Williams, 19, after police
observed her driving erratically on I-84 in Willington
Sunday, April 24, 2016 around 4 p.m.
When they stopped the BMW X6 M-series, valued at $125,000,
they found counterfeit credit cards and numerous fake IDs
from Connecticut, Rhode Island and Florida, according to
police. Her passenger had no identification.
On paper, the car was purchased in New Jersey a week earlier
by someone who lived in Virginia – but police believe that
person’s identity may have been stolen to finance the luxury
car.
Police reported finding a slew of credit cards, bills and
drivers licenses from several states in her possession.
Neither the driver nor the passenger could explain how they
ended up in the vehicle or where the registered owner was.
Williams was charged with traveling at an unreasonable
speed, credit card theft (five counts), credit card
counterfeiting (five counts), identity theft (six counts),
and forgery (six counts). The male passenger was not charged
at the time, but police said they were still investigating.
She is held on $15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Donna
RE: Adding a wireless laptop to a wired network
Dear Webby
..here's one for you.
While I'm pretty well versed with computers in general, as
far as networks and sharing goes, I'm a complete moron.
My MAIN computer is the desktop here, hardwired into the
cable modem. It has all the files on it I need to maintain.
My new laptop is wireless and in the living room.
Is it possible to set up some"thing" where the laptop can
access the files that are on the desktop and update them
THERE? Or am I just wishing on a star?
Love, Donna
UPDATE ============
As luck would have it, all the research I did, all the help
and instructions you gave me, (the stonecarvers was going to
be my last shot because the button on the modem also controls
my TV wireless and a wifi extender)...the answer turned out
to be RIDICULOUSLY SIMPLE.
While on the phone with Time Warner yesterday with a cable TV
related issue, he asked if he could help with anything else,
and I jokingly mentioned the networking issue (figuring of
course the TV tech support knew nothing of computer issues.)
He gave me a password from Time Warner, and told me to start
with the LAPTOP, since it was the "alien being" to the modem
instead of starting with the desktop, when creating the Home
Network.
Well, sure enough, I created the Home Network on the Laptop
(which gave me a different password) (and yes, the wi fi
extender and the wi fi have passwords as well), then I came
in HERE to the main computer, the desktop and added IT to the
homegroup created by the "alien" laptop, entered the password
and VOILA! I even went back to the laptop and successfully
accessed files in HERE which was my main objective.
So that might be something you want to note for Windoze 10
(which I know you just LOVE)....start with the NEW computer,
create the Network, then add the ORIGINAL computer.
Thanks for all your help...I LOVE the stonecarvers work.
(and as always..hehehe)
Love,
Donna
Dear Donna
Thanks for that very valuable information!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Associated Press,
New Orleans, LA
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists have
been operating, or planning to, in New Orleans. Louisiana
Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 had been
detained.
The Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin
Sleepin,
Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested issues.
The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting
the
description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the
area.
However, police are confident that anyone who looks like
he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cranberry Salsa
By attosa [197 Posts, 474 Comments]
I admit I used to only serve cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving
and Christmas dinner because of the bright colour to add a
little umph to the plate. Now that I make cranberry salsa,
it's all about the amazing sweet, salty, spicy flavour! I get
asked for this recipe ALL the time. I hope you enjoy it, too!
Approximate Time: 25 minutes
Ingredients:
1 pkg (12 oz) fresh or frozen cranberries
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 apple
2 limes
2 Tbsp water
3 green onions
1 jalapeno pepper
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
salt and sugar to taste
Steps:
Empty your cranberries into a saucepan.
Transfer 1/2 a cup of them to a bowl.
Peel off a couple strips of zest from one of the limes, drop
in with cranberries. Add the sugar and water to the pan and
cook over low heat. Stir occasionally, cooking for about 10
minutes until the sugar melts and the cranberries are soft.
Increase the heat to medium and let the cranberries burst.
This takes about 5 minutes.
While that's cooking down, peel and chop the 1/2 apple and
coarsely chop reserved cranberries. Reduce heat to low and
add to the pot. Stir for 2 minutes.
Turn off heat and add lime juice. Chop your jalapeno and
green onions, add to pot. Season with salt and sugar to
taste. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Before serving, add chopped cilantro and mix well. Enjoy!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Stress Test:
If you see two dolphins in this picture,
then your stress level is OK.
If you see anything else, your stress level is too high and
you need some chocolate.
___________________________________________________
| The Raven - James Earl Jones
|
____________________________________________________
Q: What is a wedding tragedy?
A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money
Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.
Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception?
A: They're the ones dancing with everyone.
__________________________________________________
Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister.
At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them
automatically said, "Hello, Father."
The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's not a father,
you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and
got three kids!"
____________________________________________________
| Beautiful waterfalls around the planet.
|
Today on April 28
0357:Constantius II visited Rome for the first time.
1282:Villagers in Palermo led a revolt against French rule
in Sicily.
1635:Virginia Governor John Harvey was accused of treason
and removed from office.
1686:The first volume of Isaac Newton's "Principia
Mathamatic" was published.
1789:A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a
rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island.
The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.
1818:U.S. President James Monroe proclaimed naval
disarmament on the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain.
1896:The Addressograph was patented by J.S. Duncan.
1902:A revolution broke out in the Dominican Republic.
1910:First night air flight was performed by Claude
Grahame-White in England.
1914:W.H. Carrier patented the design of his air
conditioner.
1916:The British declared martial law throughout Ireland.
1919:The League of Nations was founded.
1920:Azerbaijan joined the USSR.
1932:The yellow fever vaccine for humans was announced.
1937:The first animated-cartoon electric sign was displayed
on a building on Broadway in New York City. It was created
by Douglas Leight.
1945:Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci were
executed by Italian partisans as they attempted to flee
the country.
1946:The Allies indicted Tojo with 55 counts of war crimes.
1947:Norwegian anthropologist Thor Heyerdahl and five
others set out in a balsa wood raft known as Kon Tiki to
prove that Peruvian Indians could have settled in Polynesia.
The trip began in Peru and took 101 days to complete the
crossing of the Pacific Ocean.
1952:The U.S. occupation of Japan officially ended when a
treaty with the U.S. and 47 other countries went into
effect.
1953:French troops evacuated northern Laos.
1965:The U.S. Army and Marines invaded the Dominican
Republic to evacuate Americans.
1967:Muhammad Ali refused induction into the U.S. Army and
was stripped of boxing title. He cited religious grounds
for his refusal.
1969:Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France.
1974:The last Americans were evacuated from Saigon.
1988:In Maui, HI, one flight attendant was killed when the
fuselage of a Boeing 737 ripped open in mid-flight.
1989:Mobil announced that they were divesting from South
Africa because congressional restrictions were too costly.
1994:Former CIA official Aldrich Ames, who had given U.S.
secrets to the Soviet Union and then Russia, pled guilty to
espionage and tax evasion. He was sentenced to life in
prison without parole.
1996:U.S. President Clinton gave a 4 1/2 hour videotaped
testimony as a defense witness in the criminal trial of his
former Whitewater business partners.
1997:A worldwide treaty to ban chemical weapons took
effect. Russia and other countries such as Iraq and North
Korea did not sign.
2001:A Russian rocket launched from Central Asia with the
first space tourist aboard. The crew consisted of California
businessman Dennis Tito and two cosmonauts. The destination
was the international space station.
2016 smiled.
|
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Wednesday, April 27, 2016, 07:18 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 27
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
2 arrested after child found in hot car
outside Nashville strip club
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 26, in
1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at Battle of
Dunbar.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Generosity is giving more than you can,
and pride is taking less than you need.
--- Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)
Given a choice between two theories,
take the one which is funnier.
--- Blore's Razor
Since a politician never believes what he says,
he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.
--- Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several
times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it
hasn't changed since Adam. Theoretically you should have
gotten the hang of it by now.
We have to study continuously to keep up to date with new
models coming every month from 27 different makers!"
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
>From Roland
This morning my neighbor came over and we shot a few
lines of bull, and settled the world problems.
When I asked him why he never brought his wife with him,
his response was: "The last time she got ready to go out
with me on the same day, was when the Fire Alarm Went Off."
______________________________________________________
A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a
piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store
and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take
up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.
"That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean
business," the city slicker replied.
A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100
chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken
farming," the man told him.
"Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few
problems."
"Problems?" asked the proprietor.
"Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last
batch too close together."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Kelsey McMurtry, 24, left,
Summer Taylor, 19
Nashville,
Tennessee
2 arrested after child found in hot car
outside Nashville strip club
A mother and her friend are facing charges after her child
was found in a hot car outside a Nashville strip club.
Police said they found the 9-month-old inside a PT Cruiser
outside Deja Vu on Demonbreun Street at 4 p.m. Thursday.
The responding officer talked to the mother's friend, Summer
Taylor, who said she was helping to keep an eye on the child
while her mother was on the stage stripping for an audition.
Taylor said she had been coming outside to check on the
child, but witnesses said Taylor never left the strip club.
Two witnesses told police both women had been inside the
strip club for at least 30 minutes before officers
responded.
According to the affidavit, all the windows in the car were
rolled up. Police said the child was wearing a medium to
heavy coat and was "drenched in sweat."
At the time, temperatures outside were 70 degrees. In the
affidavit, police estimated it may have been up to 101
degrees inside the vehicle.
The girl was rushed to the hospital and is now in the care
of the Tennessee Department of Children's Services.
Police said the child's mother, Kelsey McMurtry, lied to
them about her name. She reportedly had an outstanding
warrant.
Both McMurtry and Taylor have been charged with child
neglect. McMurtry was also charged with criminal
impersonation.
Purnima Unni is the Pediatric Trauma Injury Prevention
manager at Vanderbilt. She said most of the time parents
don’t mean to hurt their children. It is usually an
accident.
“There is no time that is an acceptable time for a child to
be left alone in a car. It’s as simple as that,” Unni said.
With warmer temperatures on the way, medical professionals
wanted to remind parents to be aware.
Last year, 24 children were killed after being left in
hot cars. Two have already died this year.
“The child’s body temperature rises three to five times
faster and higher than an adult,” Unni said. “So 104
degrees, you find the internal organs of the child begin to
shut down. And when it’s 107 degrees, we can see near
death.”
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Neil
RE: Re Carols Automatic email
Dear Webby
She could make an icon using a selfie or her picture by
going to this free converter site.
http://www.rw-designer.com/image-to-icon
Neil
Thanks Neil!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater
waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up
with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we
noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence
continued for several moments.
Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd
demanded, "Okay, who's sitting on the remote?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Corn Dog Recipes
By Cindy [111 Comments]
This is the recipe my family has been using since the late
1950's.
Corny Dogs
1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup cornmeal
1 egg, well beaten
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk
Insert skewers into 8 frankerfurters. Dip franks into
cornmeal mixture. Drop into deep fat and fry until golden
brown.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was,
however, not at all happy with it, so she called over
the waiter and said: "I've sure tasted fresher fish!"
"Not in here," replied the waiter.
___________________________________________________
| birth to 12 years with a LOT of words
|
____________________________________________________
Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who
dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his
friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully
in order to impress on him the possibilities of the
brokerage business.
"Look at that yacht," he said as they drove slowly
past a marina. "That 96' beauty belongs to the senior
partner at Merrill Lynch. That one over there 104'
is owned by the head of Goldman, Sachs. And look
at that huge 210' yacht out there. That's the pride
and joy of the top seller at Prudential-Bache."
His friend Morris was silent. Goodman turned to look
at him and saw a pained look on his face.
"What's the matter?" Goodman asked.
"That economy rowboat rental down there beside the marina,
" Morris said,. "is that for the people they have sold to?"
__________________________________________________
The congregation of a small stone church decided that the
stone which formed the step up to the front door had become
too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced.
Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the
replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that
the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply
turning the block of stone over.
They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten
them to it and had already done that once.
____________________________________________________
| Fawzia Fuad, Queen of Iran and Princess of Egypt, 1939 was extraordinarily beautiful!
|
Today on April 26
1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at Battle of Dunbar.
1509 Pope Julius II excommunicated the Italian state of Venice.
1521 Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was killed by
natives in the Philippines.
1565 The first Spanish settlement in Philippines was
established in Cebu City.
1805 A force led by U.S. Marines captured the city of Derna,
on the shores of Tripoli.
1813 Americans under Gen. Pike capture York (present day
Toronto) the seat of government in Ontario.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln suspended the writ of habeas
corpus.
1861 West Virginia seceded from Virginia after Virginia
seceded from the Union during the American Civil War.
1865 In the U.S. the Sultana exploded while carrying
2,300 Union POWs. Between 1,400 2,000 were killed.
1880 Francis Clarke and M.G. Foster patented the
electrical hearing aid.
1909 The sultan of Turkey, Abdul Hamid II, was overthrown.
1937 German bombers devastated Guernica, Spain.
1938 Geraldine Apponyi married King Zog of Albania.
She was the first American woman to become a queen.
1945 The Second Republic was founded in Austria.
1946 The SS African Star was placed in service.
It was the first commercial ship to be equipped
with radar.
1950 South Africa passed the Group Areas Act, which
formally segregated races.
1953 The U.S. offered $50,000 and political asylum
to any Communist pilot that delivered a MIG jet.
1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan.
1975 Saigon was encircled by North Vietnamese troops.
1978 Pro-Soviet Marxists seized control of Afghanistan.
1984 In London, Libyan gunmen left the Libyan Embassy 11
days after killing a policewoman and wounding 10 others.
1989 Student protestors took over Tiananmen Square in
Beijing.
1987 The U.S. Justice Department barred Austrian President
Kurt Waldheim from entering the U.S. He was accused of
aiding in the deportation and execution of thousands of
Jews and others as a German Army officer during WWII,
even though he was too young for that.
2005 The A380, the world's largest jetliner, completed
its maiden flight. The passenger capability was 840.
2006 In New York, NY, construction began on the
1,776-foot Freedom Tower on the site of former
World Trade Center.
2016 smiled.
|
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Tuesday, April 26, 2016, 06:29 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 26
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman with .708 Blood Alcohol
in stolen truck arrested in South Dakota
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 26, in
1514 - Copernicus made his first observations of Saturn.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Nobody can be exactly like me.
Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
--- Tallulah Bankhead
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on
a cliff several hundred feet in the air.
The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a
basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who
pulled and tugged with all their strength.
Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was
terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about
half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was
suspended was old and frayed.
With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding
with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The
monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever
it breaks."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A burglar needing money to pay his income taxes decided to
burgle the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very
pleased to find a note reading, "Please don't use dynamite.
The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob." He did so.
Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises
were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.
As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard
moaning, "Can't trust nobody anymore!"
______________________________________________________
At mighty USC
pay your fee
and get a "B"
but at fancy UCLA
for that you get an "A"
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Lillemor for an update on her sneaky roses:
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Marguerite Engle,
45,
Rapid City,
South Dakota
Woman with .708 Blood Alcohol
in stolen truck arrested in South Dakota
The South Dakota woman recorded a mind-boggling .708 blood
alcohol content after being arrested earlier this month when
a state trooper found her passed out behind the wheel of a
stolen truck.
Engle's whopping BAC was measured by a Rapid City Police
Department chemist who tested a blood sample drawn from
Engle.
Engle is pictured above in a mug shot taken earlier this
year after she was arrested for assaulting a government
employee and being intoxicated and disruptive. Engle was
named in a two-count South Dakota Magistrate Court
indictment charging her with driving under the influence and
driving with a BAC beyond the .08 limit.
A traffic ticket issued to Engle notes that she "bonded out-
hospitalized" after being collared in Sturgis just before
noon on December 1. Engle is also facing charges in
connection with her possession of the stolen vehicle.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Carol
RE: Email Automatic
Dear Webby
My mother's health is not good and I want her to have the
absolute simplest way to page me. She forgets to get off-
line and figures the line is busy when she tries to call me
and so doesn't even try using her cell phone.
Is there a way to make a desktop icon that will start a mail
to my pager, with the subject line already filled in?
Thanks
Carol
Dear Carol
Yes, there is a way. On her machine go into her browser,
click on bookmarks or favorites and find some old and
obsolete bookmark. Right-click it and select Properties.
Change the name of the bookmark to "ET CALL HOME"
or something like that. Then in the URL slot, replace what
is there with
mailto:cell-email-address@domain.com?subject="CALL MOM"
Of course, instead of "cell-email-address@domain.com" you
use your actual pager or cellphone email address.
Hit OK.
Then go into her bookmarks again, find the "ET CALL HOME"
bookmark, right-click it, choose SEND TO, and send it to the
desktop.
That will make a desktop shortcut icon.
Find the icon and change the icon picture to one that is
different from all the others and easily recognizable,
then drag the icon to the top left or right corner where it
is easy to find.
Clicking that icon will open the mail program, start a new
mail, fill in your cellphone or pager email address, fill in
the subject line, and all she has to do is click on SEND and
your phone will start beeping and show her address and the
subject line.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked
full time, but he never did anything around the house and
certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was
woman's work.
But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the
children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine
and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a
beautifully set table, complete with flowers.
She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to
know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her
husband, had read a magazine article that suggested
working wives would be more romantically inclined if
they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework
in addition to holding down a full-time job.
The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the
office.
"How did it work out?" they asked.
"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even
cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the
laundry and put everything away."
"But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.
"It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too tired."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Corn Dog Recipes
By Cindy [111 Comments]
This is the recipe my family has been using since the late
1950's.
Corny Dogs
1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup cornmeal
1 egg, well beaten
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk
Insert skewers into 8 frankerfurters. Dip franks into
cornmeal mixture. Drop into deep fat and fry until golden
brown.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
The following is a quote from a director of sports
information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots
from the Naval Academy by Army rivals:
"We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut
through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away
there was an unlocked gate."
___________________________________________________
| Glen Campbell - WilliamTell Overture - Hi Ho Silver!
|
____________________________________________________
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, generally 35 children are enough.
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes school.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to
feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids have moved out.
__________________________________________________
The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued
a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of
her baby-doll nightgown.
Even though she was not injured, he carried her in his arms
down three flights of stairs.
As they arrived safely outside the building, she looked at
him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful.
It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me
the way you did."
"Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off
three other firemen who were trying to get to you."
____________________________________________________
| People are awesome!
For the month of April 2016.
|
Today on April 26
1478 - Pazzi conspirators attacked Lorenzo and killed
Giuliano de'Medici.
1514 - Copernicus made his first observations of Saturn.
1607 - The British established an American colony at Cape Henry,
Virginia. It was the first permanent English establishment in
the Western Hemisphere.
1865 - John Wilkes Booth was killed by the U.S. Federal Cavalry.
1929 - First non-stop flight from England to India was completed.
1964 - The African nations of Tanganyika and Zanzibar merged
to form Tanzania.
1968 - Students seized the administration building at Ohio
State University.
1985 - In Argentina, a fire at a mental hospital killed 79
people and injured 247.
1986 - The world’s worst nuclear disaster to date occurred
at Chernobyl, Ukraine. Thirty-one people died in the incident
and thousands more were exposed to radioactive material.
1998 - Auxiliary Bishop Juan Gerardi Conedera was bludgeoned
to death two days after a report he'd compiled on atrocities
during Guatemala's 36-year civil war was made public.
2000 - Charles Wang and Sanjay Kumar purchased the NHL's
New York Islanders.
2002 - In Erfurt, Germany, an expelled student killed 17
people at his former school. The student then killed himself.
2016 smiled.
|
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Monday, April 25, 2016, 05:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, April 25
We got the first real rain of the year.
All the brown lawns turned green in a matter of hours,
bushes and trees started showing buds and little leaflets,
and my raspberries made it quite clear which shoots are
live and which ones need to be cut.
I am going to have to invent pruning shears with long
handles at a right angle for operating without bending
down or crawling on the ground.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Arkansas Pastor turned in by his wife after finding child
pornography on their computer. Anthony Waller also raped two
girls at the First Ass. Church of God in Jonesboro,Arkansas.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 24, in
1684 A patent was granted for the thimble.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
The world is a tragedy to those who feel,
but a comedy to those who think.
--- Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
When the spread of the now protected seals and the fishing
by foreign fleets made fishing less and less profitable in
Newfoundland, Angus and Farley approached the Governemnt
with a bid to dig a tunnel to the mainland. They asked for
$100,000 each.
"Considering equipment and labor costs", the Transport Dept
asked them, "how do you propose to do the job for such a
pittance?"
"It's simple," the Angus replied. "My partner grabs a
shovel, goes to the mainland and starts digging. I take
another shovel and start digging from here.
We dig until we meet -- and you've got a tunnel!"
"But what if you never meet?"
"Then you've got TWO tunnels for the price of one!"
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were
required to spend one week in the field roughing it. It
rained the entire week. We arose daily in our swampy tent,
took a cold-water beauty bath from our helmets, donned our
pistol belts and ponchos, and trudged through the mud to set
up field hospitals. Obviously, our personal appearance
frequently left much to be desired.
The final blow to our feminine pride occurred while we
waited in the mess line in the mud and rain. A young private
came by with a camera and asked to take our picture. "It
will prove to my girl," he said, "that she has NO reason to
be jealous!"
He lived, barely.
______________________________________________________
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She
told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he
doesn't even believe there's a Hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two
of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Anthony Waller,
39,
Jonesboro,
Arkansas
Wife turns in Pastor after finding child
pornography on their computer. Anthony Waller also raped two
girls at the First Ass. Church of God in Jonesboro,
Arkansas.
Arkansas pastor whose wife discovered his horrendous child
porn collection will serve two life sentences over the rape
of girls at his church
Anthony Waller, 39, raped two girls at the First Assembly
Church of God in Jonesboro, Arkansas
His wife found pornographic images on his computer and told
police
He was then found to have raped two girls in the bathroom at
the church and also in other locations
Waller is also facing charges of video voyeurism and child
pornography
A disgraced Arkansas pastor who was charged with the rape of
two girls after his wife discovered his shocking collection
of child pornography on their laptop, will serve two life
sentences in prison.
Anthony Waller, 39, was given no chance of parole after
pleading guilty to two counts of rape on Tuesday, according
to the Jonesboro Sun.
The former children's pastor committed the offences while an
employee at the First Assembly of God Church in Jonesboro,
Arkansas, about 70 miles north-west of Memphis, Tennessee.
The court heard Waller raped the girls in the bathroom of
the church and at other locations.
In addition to the rape charges, Waller still faces 50
counts of video voyeurism and one count of child
pornography.
Waller began working at the church in 1999, but his crimes
were only discovered when his wife Angela found disturbing
images of young girls on a computer they shared.
After confronting her husband over what she had found, Mrs
Waller handed the images over to police.
Police praised the decision of Mrs Waller in what they
described as one of the biggest child pornography cases
they'd seen.
A police detective testified to finding 400,000 images of
child pornography and videos of young females inside the
church bathroom on an external hard drive of Waller's.
The detective says he found holes in the ceiling of the
church bathroom and a place for a hidden camera nearby.
In 2015, Waller told officers 'he had been addicted to child
pornography for over 20 years'.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ramona
RE: Multiple outlet bars
Dear Webby
I needed more electrical outlets for all the gadgets that
connect to the laptop, so I got a second plug strip and
plugged that into the first one. Everything worked fine, but
when a friend of mine saw that, he freaked out and told me I
would burn the house down by doing that.
Both plug strips have surge protectors and little overload
breakers, and the wall socket is also protected with a
breaker at the panel. His explanation didn't make sense to
me but he was dead serious. Is there anything I don't know
about and that I should worry about ?
Ramona
Dear Ramona
Except for your choice of friends, what you are doing is
perfectly OK and absolutely nothing to worry about. The
power used by all those gadgets doesn't amount to much. Most
likely all of them together plus your laptop use less than
a quarter of what a hair dryer would use.
As long as you don't plug in kitchen appliances, hair dryers
and vacuum cleaners like that, you have absolutely nothing
to worry about. If you do, you will pop a breaker. However,
in a normally wired building, nothing will overheat.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart
and back together again.
The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?"
The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like
this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an
old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and
pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a
small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched small circles of lights above the walls light up.
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse
direction.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old
woman stepped out.
The father said to his son, "Go get Mother !"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Corn Dog Recipes
By Cindy [111 Comments]
This is the recipe my family has been using since the late
1950's.
Corny Dogs
1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup cornmeal
1 egg, well beaten
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk
Insert skewers into 8 frankerfurters. Dip franks into
cornmeal mixture. Drop into deep fat and fry until golden
brown.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Here is a joke that keeps coming back to me:
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front
of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up
the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor,
defenseless woman his seat," so she pushes him back onto the
seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is
still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.
Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get
up. I'm twelve blocks past my stop already."
___________________________________________________
| Desert Air. Switch to HD. It is in High Definition
|
____________________________________________________
That remids me..
At a a crowded and busy bus stop, a woman wearing a tight
leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and
it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt
was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of
the first step of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her
leg.
Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still
couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for
the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to
her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.
With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to
unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her
picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on
the top step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and
screamed, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know
who you are!"
The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would
agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times,
I kinda figured we was friends."
__________________________________________________
And that reminds me of ANOTHER bus joke:
Reverend George had minor surgery after a bad accident and
gets on the bus to get back to the rectory. He looks quite
bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than
being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the
anesthetic.
He staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly
woman. She looks Reverend George up and down and
screeches at him:
"I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"
The Reverend George jumps up out of his seat and shouts:
"Hold it, driver!
I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!"
____________________________________________________
| One of a kind motorcycle.
|
Today on April 25
1590 The Sultan of Morocco launched his successful attack
to capture Timbuktu.
1644 The Ming Chongzhen emperor committed suicide by
hanging himself.
1684 A patent was granted for the thimble.
1707 At the Battle of Almansa, Franco-Spanish forces
defeated the Anglo-Portugese.
1792 The guillotine was first used to execute highwayman
Nicolas J. Pelletier.
1846 The Mexican-American War ignited as a result of disputes
over claims to Texas boundaries. The outcome of the war
fixed Texas' southern boundary at the Rio Grande River.
1859 Work began on the Suez Canal in Egypt.
1860 The first Japanese diplomats to visit a foreign power
reached Washington, DC. They remained in the U.S. capital
for several weeks while discussing expansion of trade
with the United States.
1862 Union Admiral Farragut occupied New Orleans, LA.
1864 After facing defeat in the Red River Campaign,
Union General Nathaniel Bank returned to Alexandria, LA.
1867 Tokyo was opened for foreign trade.
1882 French commander Henri Riviere seized the citadel of
Hanoi in Indochina.
1898 The U.S. declared war on Spain. Spain had declared war
on the U.S. the day before.
1901 New York became the first state to require license
plates for cars. The fee was $1.
1925 General Paul von Hindenburg took office as
president of Germany.
1926 In Iran, Reza Kahn was crowned Shah and choose
the name "Pehlevi."
1928 A seeing eye dog was used for the first time.
1945 U.S. and Soviet forces met at Torgau, Germany
on Elbe River.
1952 After a three-day fight against Chinese Communist
Forces, the Gloucestershire Regiment was annihilated
on "Gloucester Hill," in Korea.
1957 Operations began at the first experimental sodium
nuclear reactor.
1959 St. Lawrence Seaway opened to shipping. The water
way connects the Great Lakes and the Atlantic Ocean.
1961 Robert Noyce was granted a patent for the
integrated circuit.
1962 The U.S. spacecraft, Ranger, crashed on the Moon.
1971 The country of Bangladesh was established.
1974 Portuguese dictator Antonio Salazar was overthrown
in a military coup.
1976 Portugal ratified a constitution. It was first
revised on October 30, 1982.
1980 In Iran, a commando mission to rescue hostages was
aborted after mechanical problems disabled three of the
eight helicopters involved. During the evacuation, a
helicopter and a transport plane collided and exploded.
Eight U.S. servicemen were killed. The mission was aimed
at freeing American hostages that had been taken at the
U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979. The event
took place April 24th Washington, DC, time.
1982 In accordance with Camp David agreements, Israel
completed its Sinai withdrawal.
1983 The Pioneer 10 spacecraft crossed Pluto's orbit,
speeding on its endless voyage through the Milky Way.
1984 In France, over one million people demonstrated
to show they favored the decentralization of education.
1984 David Anthony Kennedy, the son of Robert F. Kennedy,
was found dead of a drug overdose in a hotel room.
1987 In Washington, DC, 100,000 people protested the U.S.
policy in Central America.
1988 In Israel, John "Ivan the Terrible" Demjanuk was
sentenced to death as a Nazi war criminal.
1990 Sandinista rule ended in Nicaragua.
1990 The U.S. Hubble Space Telescope was placed into
Earth's orbit. It was released by the space shuttle
Discovery.
1992 Islamic forces in Afghanistan took control of most of
the capital of Kabul following the collapse of the
Communist government.
1996 The main assembly of the Palestine Liberation Organization
voted to revoke clauses in its charter that called for an
armed struggle to destroy Israel.
1998 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton on was questioned
by Whitewater prosecutors on videotape about her work as a
private lawyer for the failed savings and loan at the center
of the investigation.
2003 Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, the anti-apartheid leader and
ex-wife of former President Nelson Mandela, was sentenced
to four years in prison for her conviction on fraud and theft
charges. She was convicted of 43 counts of fraud and 25 of
theft of money from a women's political league.
2016 smiled.
|
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Cleaning a dirty keyboard Sunday, April 24, 2016, 09:35 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 24
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas Youth Pastor Beaten by Witnesses Who
Caught Him Sexually Assaulting Kindergartner
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 24, in
1967 The newest Greek regime banned miniskirts.
Greeks have never forgiven their government.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Reality is the leading cause of stress
amongst those in touch with it.
--- Jane Wagner
If marriage were outlawed,
then only outlaws would have inlaws.
--- Socratex
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
I met a man who had been married for 66 years.
"Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to
such a long, happy marriage?"
"Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all
the big decisions ... and the woman just makes the
little decisions."
"Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?"
"Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not
one big decision!"
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working
so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his
apprentice.
The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot
of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you
to do."
One day the old blacksmith took a nicely glowing piece of
iron out of the forge and with his long metal tongs held it
it over the horn of the anvil. "Get the hammer over there,"
he said.
"When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith....
______________________________________________________
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said.
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture
The roses are actually behind the hedge, but growing up
through the hedge.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Willie Lee Bell Jr.,
29
Cedar Hill,
Texas
Texas Youth Pastor Beaten by Witnesses Who
Caught Him Sexually Assaulting Kindergartner
Police arrested Willie Lee Bell Jr., 29, a children’s
minister at First United Church of Cedar Hill, after he was
reportedly caught molesting a 6-year-old.
Witnesses beat a Texas youth pastor whom they allegedly
caught sexually assaulting a 6-year-old he had lured behind
an apartment building. The report did not state how
thoroughly the pastor was beat up, but he was not able to
limp away when the police finally showed up.
Police arrested Willie Lee Bell Jr., 29, a children's
minister at First United Methodist Church in Cedar Hill, on
Thursday, Fox 4 News reports. According to the news station,
Bell's recent arrest was not the first time the youth pastor
has been charged with sexual assault. He's currently facing
two charges of sexually assaulting little boys at a Dallas
apartment in February. The two boys reportedly told police
that they were abused behind an apartment complex. The boys
said that the man was wearing "church shoes."
Despite those charges, Fox 4 reports that Bell continued
working around children at the church until his most recent
arrest.
"It's painful. It's devastating. It's a nightmare," the mom
of the most recent alleged victim, who did not want to be
iden
tified, told the news station. She said that she doesn't
know Bell and nor does her family, adding that her son was
outside playing when Bell lured him behind an apartment
building. Bystanders noticed Bell and the child behind the
building and attacked him. Police were called and arrested
Bell.
"If it wasn't for them, he probably would have done more to
my child," the mom said.
United Methodist Church of North Texas issued a statement to
Fox 4 noting that it had "no knowledge of any criminal acts
happening at the church, and that it is cooperating with
police."
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ellen
RE: Cleaning a keyboard
Dear Webby
What is the best way to clean a keyboard?
My husband's keyboard is starting to look utterly
disgusting with everything from pizza to cake permanently
attached to it.
Thanks
Ellen
Dear Ellen
Whack it upside down on a newspaper covered table or
sidewalk to shake crumbs and paperclips and French Fries
out.
Then take a soft bath sponge and hot soapy water and while
somebody holds the keyboard upside down, scrub it thoroughly
with the sponge.
After that, just let it drip dry in the sun.
If you scrubbed hard enough, it will be like new.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A voice on the government building loudspeaker announced:
"We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will
work properly in case of emergency."
My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the
voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement,
please contact Security."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Custard Layer Cake
By April [9 Posts, 74 Comments]
A unique cake with a custard center. Easier than it looks.
It starts out as basic cake batter and turns into a custard
layer cake. Be sure to try the chocolate version too!
http://www.thriftyfun.com/Chocolate-Custard-Cake.html
Approximate Time: 20 minutes to prep, 1 hour to bake
Yield: 9-12 pieces
Ingredients:
4 eggs (room temperature)
3/4 cup sugar
8 Tbsp butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup all purpose flour
2 cups lukewarm milk
powdered sugar for dusting top
Steps:
Line 8 x 8" baking dish with parchment paper.
Separate eggs. Beat whites until stiff, set aside.
Beat the yolks and sugar until light and fluffy.
Add butter and vanilla. Beat 2 mins.
Add the cocoa and flour, and mix thoroughly.
Slowly add the milk and beat until everything is well
blended.
Gently fold in the egg whites using a spatula, a third at a
time. Repeat until all the whipped egg whites are folded in.
You will no longer have large white clumps.
Pour batter into baking dish and bake approx. 60 min. until
top is lightly golden.
Cool to room temperature, and then chill.
Dust top with powdered sugar.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, "You know,
honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this
article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves
a stumbling block to the son."
"Well, thank heaven," said the wife, "at least our James has
nothing standing in his way."
___________________________________________________
| Desert Air. Switch to HD. It is in High Definition
|
____________________________________________________
Father teaching his daughter to drive:
"Stop on red, go on green, and
slow down when I turn purple."
__________________________________________________
Some people must have been put on this world just to amuse!
I got this spam today with the subject line:
Subject: Get a Diploma from a pretigous University
Their hilarious spelling of prestigious makes me wonder in
which California trailer court that University is located.
The area code is 310, and they don't require any tests,
classes books or interviews. Just your credit card info.
Judging by the spelling, the teachers of that con artist
probably got their diplomas the same way.
____________________________________________________
| One of a kind motorcycle.
|
Today on April 24
1519 Envoys of Montezuma II attended the first Easter mass
in Central America.
1547 Charles V's troops defeated the Protestant League of
Schmalkalden at the battle of Muhlburg.
1558 Mary, Queen of Scotland, married the French dauphin,
Francis.
1805 The U.S. Marines attacked and captured the town of
Derna in Tripoli.
1833 A patent was granted for first soda fountain.
1877 Russia declared war on the Ottoman Empire.
1877 In the U.S., federal troops were ordered out of
New Orleans. This was the end to the North's post-Civil War
rule in the South.
1884 Otto von Bismarck cabled Cape Town that South Africa
was now a German colony.
1889 The Edison General Electric Company was organized.
1898 Spain declared war on the U.S., rejecting America's
ultimatum for Spain to withdraw from Cuba.
1915 During World War I, the Ottoman Turkish Empire began
the mass deportation of Armenians.
1916 Irish nationalists launched the Easter Rebellion against
cBritish occupation forces. They were overtaken several
days later.
1944 The first B-29 arrived in China, over the Hump of the
Himalayas.
1961 U.S. President Kennedy accepted "sole responsibility"
following Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba.
1962 MIT sent a TV signal by satellite for the first time.
1967 Soviet astronaut Vladimir Komarov died when his craft
crashed with a tangled parachute.
1967 The newest Greek regime banned miniskirts.
1970 The People's Republic of China launched its first satellite.
1973 Albert Sabin reported that herpesviruses were factors in
nine kinds of cancer.
1989 Thousands of students began striking in Beijing.
1990 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off from Cape
Canaveral, FL. It was carrying the $1.5 billion Hubble
Space Telescope.
2016 smiled.
|
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Showing file name extensions Friday, April 22, 2016, 08:34 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 22
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Pennsylvania father arrested after 'recklessly'
waving gun and killing 4 year old daughter
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 22, in
1500 Portuguese navigator Pedro Alvares Cabral discovered
Brazil.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere,
may be happy.
--- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
A liberal is a person whose interests aren't
at stake at the moment.
--- Willis Player
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few
minutes. When she returned, she found the children in
perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet.
She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen
anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell
me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved
and quiet?"
Finally, after much urging, little Sally spoke up and said,
"Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and
found us quiet, you would drop dead."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your
appointment.
Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and
regular attention? What's your excuse?"
Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."
Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about?
I gave you no such order."
Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."
______________________________________________________
Maxine reported for her final examination which consisted
of Yes / No answers.
She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the
question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a
quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and
marking the answer sheet "Yes" for heads and "N" for tails.
Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the
class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes
of the exam period, Maxine frantically started flipping the
coin again.
The moderator, concerned about what she was doing,
stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.
"Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago--but,"
explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I'm going back thru
and checking my answers!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Maurice Phillips,
30,
Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania father arrested after 'recklessly'
waving gun and killing 4 year old daughter
Authorities allege that a Philadelphia father was "carelessly
and recklessly" waving a gun around a bedroom with seven
children present when it went off, killing his 4-year-old
daughter.
Thirty-year-old Maurice Phillips is charged with third-degree
murder, involuntary manslaughter, child endangerment and
reckless endangerment in Saturday's death of 4-year-old
Tahirah Phillips.
Homicide division Capt. James Clark said Monday the girl and
her six siblings were watching television when Phillips came
in and started waving the weapon around. It discharged and
hit the girl in the back of the head.
Police allege that Phillips then struck his 5-year-old
daughter and wiped blood onto her shirt in an apparent effort
to shift blame. Police previously believed the girl's 5-year-
old sibling was the shooter. Phillips fled but later turned
himself in and ultimately confessed.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Barb
RE: File name extensions
Dear Webby
My machine at work shows the extensions of files and I can
see for example if a picture is a GIF or a JPG. How do I
trick my home machine to do that too?
Barb
Dear Barb
Go into the File Explorer and click on
Tools
Folder Options
View
Turn ON the radio button that says:
"Show hidden files and folders"
Take the ckeckmark OFF
"Hide Extensions for known file types"
Click OK, and it's done.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A doctor sees an old man merrily walking down the street with
a gorgeous young lady on his arm and recognizes him as one
of his clients whom he had not seen in quite a few years.
Half a year later he sees the old man and his young companion
at the bank in line ahead of him.
The doctor says, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
"Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful."
"I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart murmur, be
careful..."
"Too late!", the woman replied, "we like the other version
better and got married 3 years ago!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Jar Snow Globe
By audrey5682.844 [11 Posts]
Here is a cute personalized snow globe you can make with
anything you have gotten from other places. This project has
simple steps and uses limited supplies. It is a fun way to
spice up your desk or dresser.
Approximate Time: 15minJar Snow Globe
Supplies:
glass jar, a canning style works well
glue
objects of interest
glitter
Steps:
Unscrew the lid from the jar and collect your object.
Glue your object onto the lid of the jar.
Let object sit until dry.
Fill the jar with water.
Add colored glitter in the amount wanted.
Put the lid on and tip it upside down and your done!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an
attractive girl. Immediately she began flirting at him and
and flattering him outrageously. Naturally he liked the young
ladys attention, but he was taken a bit aback by her fast
and
ardent pitch. He was utterly amazed when after 30 minutes
she seriously proposed marriage.
"Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can
you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
"You're wrong," the young lady declared. "For the past 5
years your paycheck has been automatically deposited to the
bank where I work. Just because you prefer to use the ATM
machine outside, that doesn't mean I don't know all about
you!"
___________________________________________________
| Aurora from space
|
____________________________________________________
An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door
due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the
gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking
in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood
clots forming in the leg veins.
Once an hour the nurses walked the patient in the hall, a
nurses aide on each side with his arms over their sholders.
Behind them the floor nurse stomped along, gesticulating with
all kinds of fearsome devices and explaining just what kind
of enema he would need if he stopped walking.
After a week, the patient was ready to go home. His family
came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely
for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was
pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was
really a simple operation but that they had been lucky to
get
him to the hospital in time.
"But doctor, you don't understand," his daughter said,
"Dad hasn't walked in over five years!"
__________________________________________________
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New
York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in
hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses.
"Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight.
That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see
if I can help."
So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,
"What are you doing, my friend?"
"Fishin', sir."
"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink
with me?"
The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind
stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka
and a fine cigar.
His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old
man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you
catch today ?"
The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful
smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
____________________________________________________
| Model Swims With Sharks On Fashion Shoot
|
Today on April 22
1500 Portuguese navigator Pedro Alvares Cabral discovered Brazil.
1509 Henry VIII ascended to the throne of England
1529 Spain and Portugal divided the eastern hemisphere in the
Treaty of Saragosa.
1792 U.S. President George Washington proclaimed American
neutrality in the war in Europe.
1861 Robert E. Lee was named commander of Virginia forces.
1864 The U.S. Congress passed legislation that allowed the
inscription "In God We Trust" to be included on one-cent
and two-cent coins.
1889 At noon, the Oklahoma land rush officially started as
thousands of Americans raced for new, unclaimed land.
1898 The first shot of the Spanish-American war occurred
when the USS Nashville captured a Spanish merchant ship.
1915 At the Second Battle Ypres the Germans became the
first country to use poison gas.
1918 British naval forces attempted to sink block-ships
in the German U-boat bases at the Battle of Zeeburgge.
1930 The U.S., Britain and Japan signed the London Naval
Treaty, which regulated submarine warfare and limited
shipbuilding.
1931 James G. Ray landed an autogyro on the lawn of the
White House.
1944 During World War II, the Allies launched a major
attack against the Japanese in Hollandia, New Guinea.
1952 An atomic test conducted in Nevada was the first
nuclear explosion shown on live network television.
1954 The U.S. Senate Army-McCarthy televised hearings began.
1993 The U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum was dedicated in
Washington, DC.
1997 In Lima, Peru government commandos storm and capture
the residence of the Japanese ambassador ending a 126-day
hostage crisis. In the rescue 71 hostages were saved.
Those killed: one hostage (of a heart attack), two soldiers,
and all 14 rebels.
2002 Filippino President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo ordered a
state of emergency in the city of General Santos in
response to a series of bombing attacks the day before.
The attacks were blamed on Muslim extremists.
2010 The Boeing X-37 began its first orbital mission. It
successfully returned to Earth on December 3, 2010.
2016 smiled.
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Thursday, April 21, 2016, 08:54 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 21
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Wisconsin man reports car stolen,
is arrested for drunk driving for the 4th time.
Brian Primm was pulled over for speeding in his own car.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 21, in
753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses,
is in the eye of the beholder.
--- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
The secret of happiness is to make others believe
they are the cause of it.
--- Al Batt
"U.S. educators are reeling from the low math and
science test scores of American students. We bombed
in history too. Over 90 percent of American students
think BC means Before Cable."
--- Argus Hamilton
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Hair Cuts
Women's version:
Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me
the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too
fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my
hair cut like that, but I think my face is too
wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I
think.
Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable,
and you could easily get one of those layer
cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was
actually going to do that except that I was
afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your
neck! Anything to take attention away from this
two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love
to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so
well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how
short they are? If I had your shoulders I could
get clothes to fit me so much easier.........
Men's version:
Man1: Got your ears lowered?
Man2: Yeah.
Man1: Beer tonight?
Man2: Yeah, sure.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A russian wife shouts at her husband: " Drunkard!
I can`t stand it any longer! Why are you constantly
drinking vodka?"
He replied: "I drink it becausche itsch liquid.
If it wasch scholid, I`d chew it."
______________________________________________________
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on
display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom have one," the other replied.
"What's it for?"
"It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered.
"Every time mom stands on hers she gets really mad."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Brian Primm
39,
Madison,
Wisconsin
Wisconsin man reports car stolen,
is arrested for drunk driving for the 4th time.
Brian Primm was pulled over for speeding in his own car.
A Madison man who reported his car stolen was later
arrested for his fourth operating while intoxicated
offense early Thursday morning.
According to a release from the Madison Police
Department, an officer spent over six minutes on the
phone talking to 39-year-old Brian M. Primm after he had
called 911 around 1:00 a.m. to report his car stolen.
Primm told the officer that he last saw his car parked
in the 100 block of W. Dayton Street.
Police said UW-Madison Police officers executed a high-
risk traffic stop around 1:40 a.m. near N. Breese
Terrace after they spotted Primm's car because they
believed the person behind the wheel was a thief. It
turned out to be the car's owner, Primm.
Primm failed to call police back and let them know he
had found his car. When Primm was asked why he had not
called back to let authorities know he had found his
car, he shrugged his shoulders. Apparently he was too
embarassed to admit that it was where he had parked it.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Adamo
RE: Virtual drive
Dear Webby
I read once that there is a way to declare a deep down
and difficult to get to folder in Explore as a virtual
drive. How is that done in W7 ?
Dear Adamo
In the days of DOS that would have taken 2 seconds to
do. In Windows 7 it's way more work and hassle than it's
worth. There is a workaround though.
Put your mouse on a free spot on the deskto,
right-click, NEW, Shortcut,
navigate to that "deep down and difficult to get to" folder,
click OK, then give it a short nickname,
click OK, and you have a shortcut right from your desktop
into an Explorer window pre-set to that location.
If you put an e xclamation mark at the front of the name of
that shortcut, for example !-in-from-Skype, then it will
sort alphabetically on top in Explorer.
If you have a number of those and use them for example
for sorting ind weeding out music or pictures, you could
make a desktop folder and call that "Weeding", and drag
all of them into that "Weeding" task folder.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Kids' Science Answers:
"The wind is like the air, only pushier."
"Rain is called a soft water,
the opposite is hard water. I call it hail."
"Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people
forget to put the lid on."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Spray Nozzle for Dish Soap Container
By KIM HOGGAN [35 Posts, 61 Comments]
Here is a way to control how much soap comes out of your
dish soap container. Get a sturdy spray nozzle from an old
bottle and just screw it on. Make the adjustment as to how
stong or soft you want the spray to be. You will save soap,
plus it will spray out more evenly over dishes.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Bigamy is against the law,
you can't have your Kate and Edith , too!
___________________________________________________
| Aurora from space
|
____________________________________________________
Before our daughter went off to college, our family took
a vacation in Colorado. So we flew to Denver and rented
a car. We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more
than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River.
Walking out onto the bridge, I noticed it swaying in the
wind. Then a car went past us, and the wood-plank
roadway moved beneath my feet. "I don't think I want to
drive the car across this bridge," I finally said.
"What are you worried about?" our daughter replied.
"It's a rental car."
__________________________________________________
Fisherman: "Hey, pal! You've been standing there
watching me fish for three hours! Why don't you get a
rod and reel and do some fishing yourself?"
Onlooker: "No, thanks. I don't have the patience for
it."
____________________________________________________
| Holy cow!
|
Today on April 21
753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome.
43 BC Marcus Antonius was defeated by Octavian near Modena, Italy.
1526 Mongol Emperor Babur annihilated the Indian Army of
Ibrahim Lodi.
1689 William III and Mary II were crowned joint king and queen
of England, Scotland and Ireland.
1836 General Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna at the Battle of
San Jacinto. This battle decided the independence of Texas.
1856 The Mississippi River was crossed by a rail train for the
first time (between Davenport, IA, and Rock Island, IL).
1892 The first Buffalo was born in Golden Gate Park.
1898 The Spanish-American War began.
1914 U.S. Marines occupied Vera Cruz, Mexico. The troops
stayed for six months.
1916 Bill Carlisle, the infamous ‘last train robber,’
robbed a train in Hanna, WY.
1918 German fighter ace Manfred von Richthofen, "The Red Baron,"
was shot down and killed during World War I.
1959 Alf Dean caught a 16-foot, 10-inch white shark that weighed
2,664 pounds. At the time it was the largest catch with a rod and reel.
1960 Brasilia became the capital of Brazil.
1961 The French army revolted in Algeria.
1967 In Athens, Army colonels took over the government and
installed Constantine Kollias as premier.
1972 Apollo 16 astronauts John Young and Charles Duke explored
the surface of the moon.
1975 South Vietnam president, Nguyen Van Thieu, resigned,
condemning the United States.
1984 In France, it was announced that doctors had found
virus believed to cause AIDS.
1985 Manuel Ortega proposed a cease-fire for Nicaragua.
1994 Jackie Parker became the first woman to qualify to fly
an F-16 combat plane.
1998 Astronomers announced in Washington that they had
discovered possible signs of a new family of planets
orbiting a star 220 light-years away.
2000 In Sinking Spring, PA, a man chased his estranged
girlfriend through town and then forced her car into the
path of an oncoming train. The woman and her 3 passengers
were killed.
2000 North Carolina researchers announced that the heart of
a 66 million-year-old dinosaur was more like a mammal or
bird than that of a reptile.
2002 In the city of General Santos, 14 people were killed
and 69 were injured in a bomb attack on a department store.
The attack was blamed on Muslim extremists.
2016 smiled.
|
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What happened to Internet Explorer on W10 ? Wednesday, April 20, 2016, 08:38 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 20
Beautiful full moon out!
It is still warm out too, but not as hot as it was in the
afternoon. My Saskatoon bushes are about to burst into
bloom any day now, and the raspberries are showing tiny
green leaflets, reminding me to cut the old shoots and
restring the hay wire to bring in the new shoots, that
decided to shoot up outside the wire. As soon as I find
my garden snips, or when the UFOs that borrowed them,
bring them back, I'll do that.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Ohio woman charged with livestreaming rape of teen friend
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 20, in
1879 First Winnebago (horse drawn) was used in a journey
from London to Cyprus.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
You do ill if you praise,
but worse if you censure,
what you do not understand.
--- Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Keep in mind that in Australia this is the hot season.
The weather was very hot, so this preacher wanted
desperately to take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn't
bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone.
So, he undressed and got into the water. After some
delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies
walked onto the shore in his direction.
He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket,
which lay on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of
his private parts and sighed with relief.
The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and
wanted to move.
Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special
gift, I can read minds."
"Impossible," said the embarrassed preacher,
"You really know what I'm thinking?"
"Yes," the lady replied, "I know that you think that the
bucket you're holding in front of you has a bottom in it."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
"Flight 1234," the control tower advised,
"turn right 45 degrees for noise abatement, RIGHT NOW!."
"Roger," the pilot responded, "but we're at 35,000 feet.
How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir," the radar man replied, "have you ever heard the
noise you get when a 727 gooses a 747?"
______________________________________________________
A couple went out for a romantic dinner for Valentines Day.
Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and
leave it waiting.
When they got home, they saw that the dining room table
was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and
there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the
refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead
and do something we wouldn't do!"
"Something that THEY would not do.....", the husband mused,
"I suppose, we could clean the house."
______________________________________________________
My neighbor's Mt Rainier Cherries bloomed today. The bees
were having a feast. There are no flowers yet, not even
dandylions.
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Marina Lonina,
18,
Franklin County,
Ohio
Ohio woman charged with livestreaming rape of teen friend
A 17-year-old was raped by a man with whom she had been
drinking and her 18-year-old female friend livestreamed the
attack on the social media app Periscope, a prosecutor
said Wednesday in announcing a rape and kidnapping
indictment.
Authorities learned of the assault when an out-of-state
friend of the accused woman saw the images, Franklin County
Prosecutor Ron O'Brien said.
Marina Lonina and Raymond Gates, 29, were charged with
rape, kidnapping, sexual battery and pandering sexual
matter involving a minor. The rape charge involved
intercourse by force and was not related to the 17-year-
old's age, O'Brien said. Lonina was also charged with
illegal use of a minor in a nudity-oriented material or
performance.
Lonina and the victim were socializing with Gates at a home
in Columbus on Feb. 27 when Gates raped the 17-year-old,
O'Brien said.
Lonina had also livestreamed pictures of the girl in the
nude the night before at Lonina's house, he said.
Lonina "categorically denies these charges," said her
attorney Josh Bedtelyon.
Gates is scheduled for arraignment Friday. Court records
don't list an attorney for him who could comment on the
charges.
They each face up to 40 years in prison, if convicted.
O'Brien said the motive for the livestreaming was unclear,
but he said alcohol was a factor. Gates, Lonina and the
victim had all been drinking, he said.
"People need to know and understand that the use of a
smartphone to video events can constitute serious felony
crimes," O'Brien said. "They should think twice before they
use their smartphones to either photograph or video
anything that's of a sexual nature."
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ginger
RE: What happened to Internet Explorer on W10?
Dear Webby
What happened to my Internet Explorer?
While I was busy using Chrome, it seems to have been
replaced by Microsoft Edge.
Is it okay to download another copy of Internet Explorer or
would that mess things up with this Windows 10 ??
Help!
Ginger
Dear Ginger
Stick with Chrome.
It is much more secure than Internet Explorer, and can do
everything it can do.
Even Microsoft agreed that Internet Explorer is to be
retired and forgotten, so they came up with Edge.
You CAN use Internet Explorer on W10, but keep in mind, it
is not very secure and might attract bad stuff. Just use
Chrome and Edge.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
They gave a hoot.
"Each evening birdlover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting
like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him.
For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back
and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough
in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her
next door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she
said.
"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."
Then it dawned on them.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ajax for Water Spots
By ajbblondie1210 [1 Post]
My brother parks his car on the street and every night
the sprinklers go on. When he wakes up in the morning, he
has water spots on the right side of his car. He tried
washing his car but the spots would not come off. He also
tried Windex, white vinegar, brake cleaner, anything you
could think of!
Then my mom said, "Hey, try this Ajax!" With a little bit
of water, the spots came right off! So the trick is AJAX!
Hope this helps.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both
of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.
"I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a con-
ciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right."
He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," she said.
The last thing he remembers is saying: "You're right!"
___________________________________________________
| Piano Juggler
|
____________________________________________________
The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one
morning I was taking my shower when I heard my wife call
out to me from the kitchen. "The garbage disposal is dead.
Come reset it."
"You know where the button is," I protested through the
shower "You can reset it yourself!"
"I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and
sucks me in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a
statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without
consequence.
I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the
button. That is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, without respect to my
circumstances.
Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing
metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the
dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been
poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait
under the sink.
At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt
at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her
needle-like kitten claws.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight"
option. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the
impact knocked me out cold.
At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out
of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk.
"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
If they had only known.
__________________________________________________
Mike's parents have four children.
Their names are Penny, Dime and Quarter.
What is the fourth child's name?
____________________________________________________
| Nope, nope, nope, nope! Driving on these roads can be hazardous to your health!
|
Today on April 20
1139 The Second Lateran Council opened in Rome.
1534 Jacques Cartier, a French explorer, set sail from
St. Malo to explore the North American coastline.
1653 In England, Oliver Cromwell expelled the Long Parliament
for trying to pass the Perpetuation Bill that would have
kept Parliament in the hands of only a few members.
1769 Ottawa Chief Pontiac was murdered by an Illinois
Indian in Cahokia.
1775 American troops began the siege of British-held Boston.
1792 France declared war on Austria, Prussia, and Sardinia.
It was the start of the French Revolutionary wars.
1809 Napoleon defeated Austria at Battle of Abensberg,
Bavaria.
1832 Hot Springs National Park was established by an act
of the U.S. Congress.
1841 In Philadelphia, PA, Edgar Allen Poe's first detective
story, "The Murders in the Rue Morgue," was published
1861 Robert E. Lee resigned from U.S. Army.
1865 Safety matches were first advertised.
1879 First mobile home (horse drawn) was used in a journey
from London to Cyprus.
1902 Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the
radioactive element radium.
1916 Sir Roger Casement landed in Ireland to incite rebellion
against the British. Casement, a British diplomat, was
captured within hours and was hanged for high treason
on August 3.
1919 The Polish Army captured Vilno, Lithuania from the Soviets.
1940 The First electron microscope was demonstrated by RCA.
1942 Pierre Laval, the premier of Vichy France, in a radio
broadcast, establishes a policy of "true reconciliation
with Germany."
1945 Soviet troops began their attack on Berlin.
1945 During World War II, Allied forces took control of the
German cities of Nuremberg and Stuttgart.
1951 General MacArthur addressed the joint session of Congress
after being relieved by U.S. President Truman.
1953 Operation Little Switch began in Korea. It was the
exchange of sick and wounded prisoners of war. Thirty
Americans were freed.
1953 The Boston marathon was won by Keizo Yamada with a record
time of 2:18:51.
1961 FM stereo broadcasting was approved by the FCC.
1962 The New Orleans Citizens' Council offered a free one-way
ride for blacks to move to northern states.
1967 U.S. planes bombed Haiphong for first time during the
Vietnam War.
1972 The manned lunar module from Apollo 16 landed on the moon.
1981 A spokesman for the U.S. Navy announced that the U.S. was
accepting full responsibility for the sinking of the Nissho
Maru on April 9.
1984 Britain announced that its administration of Hong Kong
would cease in 1997.
1987 In Argentina, President Raul Alfonsin quelled a military revolt.
1988 The U.S. Air Forces' Stealth (B-2) bomber was officially unveiled.
1989 Scientist announced the successful testing of high-definition TV.
1992 The worlds largest fair, Expo '92, opened in Seville, Spain.
1998 Kenyan runner Moses Tanui, 32, won the Boston Marathon for the
second time. He also registered the third fastest time with 2 hours
7 minutes and 34 seconds.
2016 smiled.
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How to copy and print pictures from the newsletters Tuesday, April 19, 2016, 07:35 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 10
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Georgia man charged with assaulting pregnant
wife, cruelty to children
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 19, in
1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor
and sank the Spanish fleet.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you have trouble getting your children's attention,
just sit down and look comfortable.
--- Socratex
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben
slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his
8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine
in search of his ball.
Ben searches diligently throughout the thick underbrush
and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer,
he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in
the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.
Ben excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: "Hey
Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here."
Thomas comes running over to the edge of the ravine and
calls out: "What's the matter Ben?"
Ben shouts back in a nervous voice: "Throw me my 7-iron!
Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so
naughty during the week, that her mother decided to give
her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she
couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.
When the day came, her mother felt she had been too
harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little
girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was
one of gloom and unhappiness.
"What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to
the picnic." her mother said.
"It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already
prayed for rain!"
______________________________________________________
A physician presented his bill to the attorney
representing a deceased person's estate. Each of them
knew the other, having tangled quite a few times in
court, where the doctor was often called as an "expert
witness."
The Doctor asked the lawyer if he wanted the bill sworn
to.
"No," replied the lawyer, "the death of my client is suf-
ficient evidence that you attended him professionally."
"Be that as it may," replied the doctor, "the fact that
you handled his affairs is probably why he couldn't
afford to pay this bill on time in the first place."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Ryan Paquette,
35,
Appling,
Georgia.
Georgia man charged with assaulting pregnant
wife, cruelty to children
A Columbia County man turned himself into the Columbia
County Sheriff’s Office Sunday afternoon for allegedly
abusing his wife.
Ryan Paquette, 35, of Appling, allegedly abused his wife
for more than a decade, with the latest incident
happening on Saturday.
Four of the couple’s children were home at the time and
the alleged victim is also pregnant.
According to an incident report, Ryan Paquette’s wife
claims he beat her after he complained she purchased the
wrong kind of bread on a sub sandwich she picked up at
the grocery store.
Paquette is charged with Battery and Cruelty to Children
in the Third Degree.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ron
RE: Copy pictures from Humor Letter
Dear Webby
I would like to copy some of the cool pictures you
put in your Humor Letter but can't figure out how to
print just the pic. without the rest of the letter.
When I right click I get a box with "copy" in it
but it don't work. Can you help?
tx.
Ron
Dear Ron
The COPY IMAGE command just copies the picture into the
clipboard memory.
Open a graphics program. ANY graphics program, even
Windows PAINT will do. When you have it open, Hold CTRL
and hit V. That pastes it into the Graphics program.
Then you can print the picture with CTRL P.
You can also crop the picture to use only a part of it,
or edit it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A group of women were talking together. One woman
said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40
on a Sunday."
Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our
congregation is down to six or seven."
A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "It's so
bad in our church now on Sundays that when the minister
says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ajax for Water Spots
By ajbblondie1210 [1 Post]
My brother parks his car on the street and every night
the sprinklers go on. When he wakes up in the morning, he
has water spots on the right side of his car. He tried
washing his car but the spots would not come off. He also
tried Windex, white vinegar, brake cleaner, anything you
could think of!
Then my mom said, "Hey, try this Ajax!" With a little bit
of water, the spots came right off! So the trick is AJAX!
Hope this helps.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car; both
ladies could barely see over the dashboard.
As they were cruising along they came to an intersection.
The stoplight was red but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself,
"I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went
through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another
intersection and the light was again red, and again they
went right through.
This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure
that the light had been red but was really concerned
that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and
decided to pay very close attention at the next
intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was
definitely red and they went right through. At this point
she turned to her friend and said, "Mildred! Do you know
we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could
get killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Holy Moly! Am I
driving?"
___________________________________________________
| world class skier
|
____________________________________________________
>From Linda
Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic,
but one of them is paranoid
and the other one is out to get her.
__________________________________________________
Woman cleaning fish at sink to angler husband:
"Why can't you be like the rest of the men?
They never catch anything."
"I can't afford that much beer."
____________________________________________________
| Blue is my favorite color!
|
Today on April 19
1012 Aelfheah was murdered by Danes who had been ravaging
the south of England. Aelfhear became the 29th Archbishop
of Canterbury in 1005.
1539 Emperor Charles V reached a truce with German
Protestants at Frankfurt, Germany.
1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor
and sank the Spanish fleet.
1689 Residents of Boston ousted their governor, Edmond Andros.
1713 Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction,
which gave women the rights of succession to Hapsburg possessions.
1764 The English Parliament banned the American colonies from
printing paper money.
1770 Captain James Cook discovered New South Wales, Australia.
Cook originally named the land Point Hicks.
1775 The American Revolution began as fighting broke out at
Lexington, MA.
1782 The Netherlands recognized the new United States.
1794 Tadeusz Kosciuszko forced the Russians out of Warsaw.
1802 The Spanish reopened the New Orleans port to American
merchants.
1861 Thaddeus S. C. Lowe sailed 900 miles in nine hours in
a hot air balloon from Cincinnati, OH, to Unionville, SC.
1861 The Baltimore riots resulted in four Union soldiers and
nine civilians killed.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln ordered a blockade of
Confederate ports.
1892 The Duryea gasoline buggy was introduced in the U.S.
by Charles and Frank Duryea.
1897 The first annual Boston Marathon was held. It was the
first of its type in the U.S.
1927 In China, Hankow communists declared war on
Chaing Kai-shek.
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt issued a proclamation
that removed the U.S. from the gold standard.
1938 General Francisco Franco declared victory in the Spanish
Civil War.
1943 The Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Nazi rule began. The
Jews were able to fight off the Germans for 28 days.
1951 General Douglas MacArthur gave his "Old Soldiers" speech
before the U.S. Congress. In the address General MacArthur
said that "Old soldiers never die, they just fade away."
1951 Shigeki Tanaka won the Boston Marathon. Tanaka had
survived the atomic blast at Hiroshima, Japan during WWII.
1956 Actress Grace Kelly became Princess Grace of Monaco
when she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco. The civil
ceremony took place on April 18.
1967 Surveyor 3 landed on the moon and began sending photos
back to the U.S.
1971 Russia launched the Salyut into orbit around Earth.
It was the first space station.
1975 India launched its first satellite with aid from the USSR.
1981 In Davao, Philippines, thirteen people were killed when
members of the New People's Army threw hand grenades into
the Roman Catholic cathedral during Easter services.
1982 The U.S. announced a ban on U.S. tourist and business
traval to Cuba. The U.S. charged the Cuban government with
subversion in Central America.
1987 In Phoenix, AZ, skydiver Gregory Robertson went into a
200-mph free-fall to save an unconscious colleague 3,500
feet from the ground.
1987 The last California condor known to be in the wild was
captured and placed in a breeding program at the San Diego
Wild Animal Park.
1989 A gun turret exploded aboard the USS Iowa. 47 sailors
were killed.
1989 A giant asteroid passed within 500,000 miles of Earth.
1993 The Branch-Davidian’s compound in Waco, TX, burned to
the ground. It was the end of a 51-day standoff between
the cult and U.S. federal agents. 86 people were killed
including 17 children. Nine of the Branch Davidians escaped
the fire.
1994 A Los Angeles jury awarded $3.8 million to Rodney King
for violation of his civil rights.
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, OK,
was destroyed by a bomb. It was the worst bombing on U.S.
territory. 168 people were killed including 19 children,
and 500 were injured. Timothy McVeigh was found guilty of
the bombing on June 2, 1997.
1998 Wang Dan, a leader of 1989 Tienanmen Square pro
democracy protests, was freed by the Chinese government.
2000 In the Philippines, Air Philippines GAP 541 crashed
while preparing to land. 131 people were killed.
2002 The USS Cole was relaunched. In Yemen, 17 sailors were
killed when the ship was attacked by terrorists on October
12, 2000. The attack was blamed on Osama bin Laden's
Al-Qaida network.
2016 smiled.
|
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How to stop saving pictures in PNG format Monday, April 18, 2016, 10:35 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, April 18
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Mesa man arrested for bestiality and for
exploiting minors
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 18, in
1521 Martin Luther confronted the emperor Charles V in the
Diet of Worms and refused to retract his views that led to
his excommunication.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
--- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892)
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
--- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.
-- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)
(or to belong to a sympathetic wife)
Where humor is concerned there are no standards -
no one can say what is good or bad,
although you can be sure that everyone will.
--John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced
amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to
start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the
local newspaper.
After reading through all the listings, I circled three that
seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off
calling them.
Two days later, there was a message on my answering
machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to
borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled
in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column.
That's my ad. and don't call the one in the fourth column.
That is my mother's ad."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A golfer's drive lands on an anthill. Rather than move the ball,
he decides to hit it where it lies. He gives a mighty swing.
A cloud of dirt and sand and ants explodes from the end
of his club, but the golf ball remains in the same spot.
So he lines up and tries another shot. A cloud of dirt and
sand and ants goes flying again. The golf ball doesn't even
wiggle.
Two ants survive. One dazed ant says to the other,
"Whoa. What are we going to do?"
Says the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going
to get on the ball.
______________________________________________________
Sherry and Barbie got together on a regular basis, and they
usually discussed families or local gossip. One day they
decided to change things a bit, and discuss important
political issues; the Middle East, Afghanistan, North Korea, etc.
Barbie said, "But what about Red China?"
Sherry responded, "Fantastic... it looks especially good
on a white tablecloth!"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Aaron Thomas Usery,
21,
Mesa,
Arizona
Mesa man arrested for bestiality,
exploiting minors
Mesa police arrested a 21-year-old man Tuesday after
investigators said he was involved in a sexual relationship
with a pair of 12-year-old Kansas girls and had engaged in
sexual activity with a dog, according to court records.
Police said Aaron Thomas Usery was arrested on suspicion of
sexual exploitation of a minor and bestiality after police
found messages and videos on his computer and phone.
Police said Usery met the girls on an art-sharing website
and went by the name "Zel the Wolf," documents reported.
The relationship started in September 2014 and ended in
February 2015, according to court records.
Mesa police said investigators from Overland Park, Kansas,
reported the relationship after the mother of one of the
girls told police about the relationship.
Investigators found nude pictures and videos on both Usery's
and the girls' phones, including a video of Usery engaging
in bestiality with the family dog, according to court
records.
According to reports, the relationship started friendly then
gradually turned sexual as Usery and the girls used Skype
and Google Hangouts to keep in touch.
In the messages, police said Usery admitted that he knew the
relationship was wrong but that he continued doing it.
Usery was being held on a $25,000 bond and is scheduled to
appear at Maricopa County Superior Court on April 20.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Kay
RE: Computer saves pictures in PNG format
Dear Webby
I would like to thank you for all of your previous help.
I have a question about saving pictures that are sent to
me in my email.
Always before when I would save a picture it would save it
as a jpg, now when I save a picture it saves it as a PNG
(*.png)Â even though it shows the picture as a jpg.
Thank you for such a great newsletter and all the help and
advice on computer questions.
Kay
Dear Kay
Most graphics programs let you save in a great variety of
formats, including PNG.
PNG is actually a much better format than JPG, because it
does not degrade the picture every time you save it.
Usually, whatever format you save something in, is the
default format from then on.
If you prefer to save pictures in JPG, select that.
Usually you can select that in the second line, below the
file name line.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A young lady died and went to heaven. St. Peter met her
at the gate.
He told her, "In order to enter here you must tell me the
name of the Lord."
The young lady wrinkled her brow and said, "Oh, I do know
it, just a minute, let me think. Um -- um -- oh yes, it's
Andy!!"
St. Peter said, "Andy? ANDY? Where did you ever get
THAT name?"
"Well, you know, it's in that song -- we sang it all the
time in church!" she said defensively. Then she proceeded
to sing the song,
"Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me ..."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Spice Jar Labels
By Amanda Cope [3 Posts, 19 Comments]
I have accumulated about 40 spice jars and want to have
them displayed on my counter on one of those 3 tier
expandable shelves. I want to label them, but my Dymo
labels don't stick very well. They do fine on everything
else. Any suggestions?
Acope
You can wash your spice jars in hot dish water. They all
have tight fitting caps. If they haven't been washed for
twenty years, they will need a bit more effort, but they
will come just as clean as your wine glasses. Then
anything will stick properly. However, Dymo labels look
rather tacky in the kitchen and heat will make them curl
up.
2" x 3/4" Avery return address labels look the best, but
they have tons of different sizes. To make them washable,
spray them with spray varnish after you stick them onto
the jars.
Since you will need just one sheet of labels, you can give
sheets to friends and relatives, and for some even print
the labels for them for Christmas.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult
while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
___________________________________________________
| moose fighting in the neighborhood
|
____________________________________________________
Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup,
and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should
know about.
That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he
found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just
sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went
to get ready for a wedding recently.
The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there.
You probably just put on a few pounds."
"That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single
pound since the last time I wore it."
"Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of
Furniture Disease."
"What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked.
"Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in
life when your chest starts slidin' down into your
drawers."
__________________________________________________
>From Donna
Every year or so somebody asks you to bring again that
one about some guy trying to spell the name of an
insurance company to a phone operator. This year, it's me.
Can you please bring it again?
Thanks
Donna
Here it is:
"Information? I need the number of the
Caseway Insurance Company."
"Would you spell that, please?"
"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as
in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."
"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
____________________________________________________
| The oldest hotel in the world that was built in 705 AD. It has been owned and operated by the same family for 52 generations, 1,311 years!
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 18
1521 Martin Luther confronted the emperor Charles V in the
Diet of Worms and refused to retract his views that led to
his excommunication.
1676 Sudbury, Massachusetts, was attacked by Indians.
1818 A regiment of Indians and blacks were defeated at the
Battle of Suwann, in Florida, ending the first Seminole War.
1846 The telegraph ticker was patented by R.E. House
1847 U.S. troops defeated almost 17,000 Mexican soldiers
commanded by Santa Anna at Cerro Gordo. (Mexican-American War)
1853 The first train in Asia began running from Bombay to Tanna.
1877 Charles Cros wrote a paper that described the process of
recording and reproducing sound. In France, Cros is regarded
as the inventor of the phonograph. In the U.S., Thomas Edison
gets the credit.
1895 New York State passed an act that established free
public baths.
1906 San Francisco, CA, was hit with an earthquake. The
original death toll was cited at about 700. Later information
indicated that the death toll may have been 3 to 4 times
the original estimate.
1910 Walter R. Brookins made the first airplane flight at night.
1934 The first Laundromat opened in Fort Worth, TX.
1937 Leon Trotsky called for the overthrow of Soviet leader
Josef Stalin.
1942 James H. Doolittle and his squadron, from the USS Hornet,
raided Tokyo and other Japanese cities.
1942 The Vichy government capitulated to Adolf Hitler and
invited Pierre Laval to form a new government in France.
1943 Traveling in a bomber, Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto,
was shot down by American P-38 fighters.
1949 The Republic of Ireland was established.
1950 The first transatlantic jet passenger trip was completed.
1954 Colonel Gamal Abdel Nasser seized power in Egypt.
1956 Actress Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier of Monaco were married.
The religious ceremony took place April 19.
1960 The Mutual Broadcasting System was sold to the 3M Company of
Minnesota for $1.25 million.
1978 The U.S. Senate approved the transfer of the Panama Canal to
Panama on December 31, 1999.
1983 The U.S. Embassy in Beirut was blown up by a suicide car-bomber.
63 people were killed including 17 Americans.
1984 Daredevils Mike MacCarthy and Amanda Tucker made a sky dive
from the Eiffel Tower. The jump ended safely.
1985 Ted Turner filed for a hostile takeover of CBS.
1989 Thousands of Chinese students demanding democracy tried to
storm Communist Party headquarters in Beijing.
1999 Wayne Gretzky (New York Rangers) played his final game
in the NHL. He retired as the NHL's all-time leading scorer
and holder of 61 individual records.
2002 Actor Robert Blake and his bodyguard were arrested in
connection with the shooting death of Blake's wife about
a year before.
2002 The Amtrack Auto Train derailed in a remote area of
north Florida. Four people were killed and 133 were injured.
2002 The city legislature of Berlin decided to make Marlene
Dietrich an honorary citizen. Dietrich had gone to the United
States in 1930. She refused to return to Germany after
Adolf Hitler came to power.
2016 smiled.
|
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Sunday, April 17, 2016, 07:09 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 17
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Wisconsin English Teacher Charged With
Sexual Assault of a Student
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 17, in
1421 Dikes at Dort Holland break, 100,000 drown
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as
when they do it from a religious conviction.
--- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
God is a comedian
playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
--- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when
he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The
date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven
years old.
They both laughed and tried to remember which of them
might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a
decade ago.
"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold
asked.
"Not very likely," his wife said.
"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He
went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the
store.
With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind
the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said,
"Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."
He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.
Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"
The man came back to the counter, empty-handed.
"They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed
of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress
the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.
The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen,
'sir', it's real simple: If the hatch or a door drips,
don't open it."
______________________________________________________
Bill's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it.
When they were over for a weekend visit, she came into
the front room where my office is. I guess I stared at
her funny because she said, "I just set my hair."
The last thing I remember saying was,
"Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Sara Domres,
29,
New Berlin,
Wisconsin
Wisconsin English Teacher Charged With
Sexual Assault of a Student
A Wisconsin high school teacher is facing charges of
sexual assault following an alleged sexual relationship
with a student, including on the night of her husband's
bachelor's party.
Sara Domres, a 29-year-old former teacher at the New
Berlin West High School, was charged last week for sexual
assault of a student by school staff following an alleged
relationship with a 16-year-old lasting approximately ten
months.
According to the criminal complaint, the sophomore was in
Domres' English class, where they became fast friends, and
texted each other frequently, the police report stated.
During their relationship, lasting between April 2015 and
January 2016, they reportedly exchanged over 1,100
messages. One of the many text messages said, "I love
being your baby boo. (heart emoji) run away with me!!! I
want you forever," according to the criminal complaint.
According to the police statement, the boy was allegedly
"a virgin prior to having sexual intercourse" with the
teacher.
One of the counts she is being charged with was for an
encounter in Domres' car in a park-and-ride lot in July,
according to the criminal complaint. The boy was 16 at the
time.
The other count she is being charged with responded to
their encounter in a Motel 6, where she had paid for a
single bed with cash, and it was discovered that the boy's
phone was connected to the WiFi on the same day,
authorities said.
According to police, a message was sent the night before:
"You're extremely attractive to me!!! I can't wait for our
night we are doing it no matter what!!!"
However, the boy as well as witnesses reportedly told the
police that the couple had sex more frequently than the
two instances. According to WISN, they even had sex on the
night of Domres' now-husband's bachelor party.
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported that Domres was
married in August, in the midst of her relationship with
the student.
The police report also said that the couple had passed
handwritten notes "of a sexual nature" to each other. One
of them allegedly read: "I want to do you (smiley face)
NOW!!"
According to a police report, three juveniles reported the
relationship on January 16.
Police later uncovered multiple Internet searches from the
student's phone from the previous day, the police report
stated. One was a Yahoo search for, "how to delete a sent
snapchat?" Another was a google search for "what evidence
does a judge need to charge a teacher with sexual
assault."
The school had reportedly discovered the relationship
sometime in January and she was immediately let go.
Read: Man Raped 17-Year-Old Girl While Her Friend Recorded
Attack on Periscope: Prosecutors
Domres was released on $1,000 bail following the arrest,
on the condition that she has "no contact with
victim/witness/and family members, New Berlin West High
School, students or staff listed in the Criminal
Complaint," the Wisconsin Circuit Court noted on their
website.
She has pleaded not guilty to the charges, and her next
hearing is on May 4.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Maria
RE: Cheap computer desk
Dear Webby
I need a computer desk but they all cost way more than
my budget allows. Do you have any ideas that might help
me?
Thanks
Maria
Get some bedside nightstands at a second hand store,
preferably the type that has a bunch of drawers.
Then get an interior door and cut it to fit into the space
you have. They are usually hollow and easy to cut.
Put that door over your nightstands and your desk is
finished.
Use it like that for a week or more until you have
adjusted and shuffled everything just right before you
glue anything down. However, normally the weight of the
monitor will hold everything quite nicely and gluing won't
be necessary.
Use the door with the hole for the lock towards the wall
or away from you. It is perfect to bing up power and phone
cords.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Heard on a United Express flight during the exit announcement:
"Please remove all personal items from the aircraft. Any
items left on board can be found at my yard sale next
Sunday."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Quick Vetkoek
By Benetta [226 Posts, 121 Comments]
Vetkoek (fried dough bread) is another well-loved part of
our South African food heritage. Whenever we have church
bazaars, you can bet your bottom dollar that vetkoek will
be sold at one of the food stalls. It can be served with
savory mince, or cheese and honey, or cheese and jam.
When I was forced to go gluten-free (due to health
concerns), it was one of the first recipes that I played
around with until I managed to come up with a good gluten-
free version. Here goes...
Approximate Time: 20 minutes
Yield: 6-7 vetkoek, depending on the size
Ingredients:
1 cup Health Connection gluten free self-raising cake
flour
1/2 cup soda water (carbonated water)
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg
cooking oil
Steps:
Sift together the flour and salt.
Add the egg and soda water. Mix all the ingredients
together to get a smooth batter.
Add enough oil to a pan so that the oil will measure 1cm
up the side of the pan. Place over medium-high heat and
heat the oil.
Drop spoonfuls of batter in the warm oil and fry until
golden brown on both sides.
Allow to cool down a bit, before serving with mince, or
with butter, cheese and honey.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
How often have we heard that television watching can be
detrimental?
A pastor carried that message one Sunday morning in an
impassioned sermon on the evils of TV.
"It steals away precious time that could be better spent
on other, more worthwhile things," he said.
He advised the congregation to do what he and his family
had done. "We put our TV away in the closet."
"That's right," his wife muttered to the woman next to
her, "and it gets awfully crowded in there!"
___________________________________________________
| the double date
|
____________________________________________________
If garbage workers in your community ever go out on
strike, you might like to know how a wise New Yorker
disposed of his refuse for several days when sanitation
workers were on strike.
Each day he wrapped his garbage in gift paper. Then
he put it in a shopping bag. When he parked his car,
he left the bag on the front seat with the window open.
When he got back to the car, the garbage had always
been collected.
__________________________________________________
Martin was known among his friends for the punctuality
with which he sent his ex-wife her alimony payment each
month. When asked the reason for his haste, he shivered
and explained:
"I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in my
payments, she might decide to repossess me."
____________________________________________________
| What amazing strength and ability.
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 17
1421 Dikes at Dort Holland break, 100,000 drown
1492 Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to
find a passage to Asia and the Indies.
1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated.
1524 New York Harbor was discovered by Giovanni Verrazano.
1629 Horses were first imported into the colonies by the
American Massachusetts Bay Colony.
1808 Bayonne Decree by Napoleon I of France ordered
the seizure of U.S. ships.
1810 Pineapple cheese was patented by Lewis M. Norton.
1824 Russia abandoned all North American claims south of 54' 40'.
1860 New Yorkers learned of a new law that required fire
escapes to be provided for tenement houses.
1895 China and Japan signed the Treaty of Shimonoseki.
It was the end of the first Sino-Japanese War. In the
treaty China ceded Taiwan to Japan.
1941 Igor Sikorsky accomplished the first successful
helicopter lift-off from water near Stratford, CT.
1946 The last French troops left Syria.
1961 About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba
at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro.
It was an unsuccessful attack.
1964 Jerrie Mock became first woman to fly an airplane
solo around the world.
1964 The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model.
1975 Khmer Rouge forces capture the capital of Cambodia,
Phnom Penh. It was the end of the five-year war.
1983 In Warsaw, police routed 1,000 Solidarity supporters.
1985 In Lebanon, the cabinet resigned as Shiites took W. Beirut.
1987 In Sri Lanka, Tamil guerrillas killed 122 people
in a road ambush.
1989 In Poland, courts gave Solidarity legal status.
1993 A federal jury in Los Angeles convicted two former police
officers of violating the civil rights of beaten motorist
Rodney King. Two other officers were acquitted.
1996 Erik and Lyle Menendez were sentenced to life in prison
without parole for killing their parents.
2016 smiled.
|
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Obnoxious program on new laptop Saturday, April 16, 2016, 08:16 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, April 16
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Ohio "Fun Mom" Charged With Her 16-Year-Old Son's
Heroin Overdose Death. His grandmother has been charged
as well.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 16, in
1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution
in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with
Britain. Canada was already metric since 1970 and not
using the British Imperial units of measurement anymore.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
"Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
--- Robert Heinlein
If computers get too powerful,
we can organize them into a committee --
that will do them in.
--- Bradley's Bromide
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
3 Cajuns and 3 Texans are taking a train to attend a
conference. At the station, each Texan buys a ticket,
but they notice that only one Cajun buys a ticket.
"Don't you-all need tickets?" they ask.
"Mais Non," reply the Cajuns, "one is more dan enough,
boo."
Once they board the train, the Texans take their seats
and notice that all 3 Cajuns cram themselves into a
toilet.
As the conductor passes through the car, he knocks on the
toilet door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door cracks ever so slightly, a hand passes out a
ticket,
and then the door quickly closes.
"Ahhh... very clever" think the Texans.
After the conference, the 3 Cajuns and the 3 Texans are
again
at the train station for the return trip. Since the Texans
are now so 'money-wise', they smirk as they only purchase
one ticket...
but then they notice that the Cajuns don't buy a ticket at
all.
"How will you-all get back without even a single ticket?"
they ask.
"Mais, we don need dat, us on de back trip!" say the
Cajuns.
Once they board the train, the 3 Texans cram themselves
into
the largest toilet (naturally), and the 3 Cajuns ease into
another toilet. As the train begins to move away from the
station, one of the Cajuns leaves the toilet and knocks on
the door of the Texans' toilet and yells, "Ticket Please."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A college student with a young child was pleased when her
daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at
the University. The director of the day care gave the
mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the
center's high standards, the young mother asked about the
curriculum.
"Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are
studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh."
______________________________________________________
A doctor told Mrs. McMurphy to give her husband one
pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his
stamina. A month later, when Mrs. McMurphy came in
for another visit, the doctor asked,
"How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?"
Mrs. McMurphy answered, "Well, he's a little behind
with the pills,
but he's about six years ahead with the whiskey."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Heather Frye, 31,
Brenda Frye, 52
Green,
Ohio
"Fun Mom" Charged With Her 16-Year-Old Son's
Heroin Overdose Death. His grandmother has been charged too.
Heather Frye, 31, and her mother Brenda, 52, are charged
with the involuntary manslaughter of Heather's biological
son Andrew's death as well as corrupting another with
drugs, child endangering, and tampering with evidence, the
Akron Beacon Journal reports. The 16-year-old was found
facedown dead in a Green, Ohio, Super 8 motel room after
partying with the two women.
According to the Washington Post, Heather and Brenda were
also high on heroin and fentanyl when Andrew died, and it
appears they "had a hand in obtaining and disseminating
heroin among themselves" at the motel party, Summit County
Sheriff Steve Barry said. Two of the women's friends were
also partying with them. Andrew was pronounced dead on the
scene, and investigators found drug paraphernalia and
syringes in the motel room.
After she was arrested, Heather told police she wanted to
be Andrew's "fun weekend mom," the Cleveland Plain Dealer
reports. Heather had not had custody of Andrew since he was
6 months old when she gave him up for adoption to his
great-aunt Tammy Smith. When Smith's fiancé died in 2010,
Andrew had a hard time coping, Tammy said. He then began
seeking out his biological mother's company.
Heather, who was in prison three times between 2007 and
2014 for drug-related charges, would visit a few times a
year, but "never in a million years did we think she would
get him into heroin," Tammy's daughter Julie Andrea said.
"We think the only reason he did it was to get her
approval." She reportedly told Andrew to shoot up in the
bathroom of the motel room because she didn't like watching
him use drugs.
Should they be convicted, Heather and Brenda face up to 11
years in prison.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Donna
RE: Obnoxious program on new laptop
Dear Webby
OK,so I bit the bullet and bought a new laptop, which of
course came with Windoze 10. I'm managing fine with
Windoze 10 Pro on my desktop, but the laptop came with
Windoze 10 home (no big difference) so of course upon it's
arrival I powered it up and started unstalling the JUNK I
didn't want on it.
There's one program I cannot seem to get rid of, every time
I try and uninstall it is says it cannot uninstall it
because it's running.
If I alt/ctl/delete and bring up Task Manager, it does NOT
show. It's called KNCTR and is some dumb phone program and
says "click here to activate your free phone.
I'm thinking of booting the laptop up in safe mode and
trying to delete it that way. Any thoughts oh wise one?
Love, Donna :)
PS. It is absolutely AMAZING what MalwareBytes finds on an
clean, out of the box laptop.
======================
I swear, just writing to you is magical. It was in the
"load in startup" commands. You are a true magician!
Donna
Dear Donna
I am glad that worked.
Your tip about checking the start-up commands will
hopefully help others too!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
An old man was a witness in a burglary case.
The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit
this burglary?"
"Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are
you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old
and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see
at night?"
Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that"?
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Storing Tomato Paste
By Sweezykay [7 Posts, 10 Comments]
What is the best way to store tomato paste for future use?
Frozen is best but not in the can. Fill ice cube trays with
left over tomato paste and freeze. Once frozen, remove from
the trays and store in a freezer bag for 2-3 months.
This trick works for pasta sauce too. Often just a cube
works wonders for a stew that needs "something" to be
perfect.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young
father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are
you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers
and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and
cakes for all of our guests."
"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you
prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a
case of whiskey."
___________________________________________________
| How did he DO this?
|
____________________________________________________
A father noticed that his son was spending way too much
time playing computer games.
In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more
attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son,
"When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by
the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "Hmmm, if you had done that too, I would be
the son of the president and would have a much faster
computer!"
__________________________________________________
Insanity is hereditary.
You get it from your kids.
____________________________________________________
| The Breathtaking Melissani Cave in Greece
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 16
0069 Otho committed suicide after being defeated by
Vitellius' troops at Bedriacum.
1065 The Norman Robert Guiscard took Bari. Five centuries
of Byzantine rule in southern Italy ended.
1705 Queen Anne of England knighted Isaac Newton.
1746 The Duke of Cumberland defeated Bonnie Prince Charlie
(and his Jacobites) at the battle of Culloden.
1818 The U.S. Senate ratified Rush-Bagot amendment to form
an unarmed U.S.-Canada border.
1854 San Salvador was destroyed by an earthquake.
1905 Andrew Carnegie donated $10,000,000 of personal money
to set up the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement
of Teaching.
1912 Harriet Quimby became the first woman to fly across
the English Channel.
1917 Vladimir Ilyich Lenin returned to Russia to start
Bolshevik Revolution after years of exile.
1922 Annie Oakley shot 100 clay targets in a row, to set
a women's record.
1942 The Island of Malta was awarded the George Cross in
recognition for heroism under constant German air attack.
1943 In Basel, Switzerland, chemist Albert Hoffman
accidently discovered the the hallucinogenic effects of
LSD-25 while working on the medicinal value of
lysergic acid.
1944 The destroyer USS Laffey survived immense damage from
attacks by 22 Japanese aircraft off Okinawa.
1947 The Zoomar lens, invented by Dr. Frank Back, was
demonstrated in New York City. It was the first lens
to exhibit zooming effects.
1947 In Texas City, TX, the French ship Grandcamp, carrying
ammonium nitrate fertilizer, caught fire and blew up. The
explosions and resulting fires killed 576 people.
1951 75 people were killed when the British submarine Affray
sank in the English Channel.
1968 The Pentagon announced that troops would begin coming
home from Vietnam. The Vietnam war became a defeat from home.
1972 Apollo 16 blasted off on a voyage to the moon. It was
the fifth manned moon landing.
1975 The Khmer Rouge Rebels won control of Cambodia after
five years of civil war. They renamed the country Kampuchea
and began a reign of terror.
1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution
in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain.
1983 China shelled the Vietnam border in retaliation for raids.
1983 Brazil detained four Libyan planes en route to Nicaragua
after finding weapons, explosives and ammunition on planes.
1987 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) sternly
warned U.S. radio stations to watch the use of indecent
language on the airwaves.
1987 The U.S. Patent Office began allowing the patenting of
new animals created by genetic engineering.
1992 The House ethics committee listed 303 current and former
lawmakers who had overdrawn their House bank accounts.
1995 The European Union and Canada agreed to protect
threatened fish stocks in the north Atlantic.
1996 An Italian court found former Prime Minister Bettino
Craxi guilty on charges of corruption. He was sentenced to
eight years and three months in prison.
1999 Wayne Gretzky announced his retirement from the
National Hockey League (NHL).
2002 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned major parts of a 1996
child pornography law based on rights to free speech.
2007 In Blacksburg, VA, a student killed 33 people at Virginia
Tech before killing himself.
2016 smiled.
|
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( 9 views )
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Moving Eudora with all filters and settings to W8 Friday, April 15, 2016, 09:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
NJ Woman, who set apartment on fire after
learning her boyfriend is now gay.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 15, in
1989 In Sheffield, England, 96 people were killed and hundreds
were injured at a soccer game at Hillsborough Stadium when
a crowd surged into an overcrowded standing area.
Ninety-four died on the day of the incident and two
more later died from their injuries.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A good listener is not only popular everywhere,
but after a while he gets to know something.
--- Wilson Mizner
"A couple of months in the laboratory can save
a couple of hours in the library."
--- Westheimer's Discovery
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
My neighbor is engaged in a major custody battle.
His wife doesn't want him...
and his mother won't take him back.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
"Why do the Irish always fight amongst themselves?"
"Everybody else is relatively sober by comparison"
______________________________________________________
Cindy said: "I come from a wealthy divorced family.
My mom's wealthy, my dad's divorced."
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Lakishette Williams,
25,
Trenton,
New Jersey
Woman sets apartment on fire after
learning her boyfriend is now gay.
A woman accused of starting fires in her apartment was
burning love letters from her boyfriend after she
discovered he was gay and cheating on her, the woman's
defense attorney said Friday.
Lakishette Williams, 25, appeared for a bail
reconsideration hearing Friday - four months after she was
charged with aggravated arson for the incident.
Police said at the time that they pulled Williams from her
apartment on North Gouverneur Avenue and found that she had
started fires in two rooms.
Prosecutors said Friday that police found evidence of the
first fire on a stovetop in the kitchen where they
discovered remnants of charred paper on a burner.
After investigating the rest of the apartment, they found
broken glass and evidence of more burned papers in the
living room and an aerosol can nearby, prosecutors said.
They added that the building held other apartments,
including one that was occupied when Williams lit the
fires. Prosecutors believe Williams intended to damage the
building.
Caroline Turner, an attorney representing Williams, said
that the 25-year-old wasn't trying to light the apartment
on fire – she was just burning love letters from her
boyfriend.
Williams had recently discovered online that her boyfriend
was gay and in relationships with other men, Turner said.
Distraught over her failed relationship, the 25-year-old
mother of two decided to get rid of the love letters,
Turner said.
"She was devastated."
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: David
RE: Transfer Eudora to W8
Dear Webby
Thanks for the advice on the classic shell for windows 8.
Now the next problem. On my old machine in Eudora I have
saved a number of emails and set up a number of filters.
Is there any way to transfer this info to my new machine
short of having to recreate each one individually?
Thanks again.
David L
Dear David
Yes, that part is easy. I have done that since Windows 3.1
If your machines are networked, copy the Eudora setup file
to the new machine and set it up.
That puts it into the registry.
Next drag the entire Eudora directory over to the new
machine.
Make a shortcut for Eudora.exe and drag it to the task bar
or the desktop.
That's all there is to it.
After that Eudora on the new machine will be identical to
how it was on the old one, including filters and
preferences.
If you don't have the Eudora Setup file, come onto Skype.
My handle is, of course, dearwebby
Then I can slide you version 6.2.5.6 (paid mode)
That is the last good version, before they went to 7.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
On vacation a nine-year-old boy and his father were at the
pool, where two very attractive women wearing skimpy
bikinis were sunning themselves.
The father noticed that his son kept staring at the girls
and would occasionally glance back at him. He was bracing
himself for questions his son might have when they got up
to leave. His son watched the girls very closely as they
left, then he turned to his father and said,
"Dad, can I take that candy bar those girls left behind?"
----------
Times sure have changed ! I would have waited till they
were out of sight of my father, then sprinted after them
with their candy bar, and I would have gotten a hug, maybe
even a kiss.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Easy Asian Soup
By Donna [321 Posts, 336 Comments]
A quick and delicious soup using left over chicken, pork,
or beef. Much healthier, cheaper and better than any
canned soup you can buy.
Approximate Time: 20 minutes
Yield: 4 servings
Ingredients:
1/2 onion, chopped
1 rib celery, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
small piece of fresh ginger, minced or sprinkle of
dried ginger
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cup water
1 cup leftover chicken, pork or beef
1 Tbsp soy sauce
2 Tbsp lime juice
Steps:
Chop onion, celery and carrot. I use a Black and Decker
mini chopper that I found in a free box at a garage sale
and love it! Saves a lot of time and energy.
Cook vegetables in a heavy pot in olive oil until tender;
about 3 minutes.
Add minced garlic and ginger to taste.
Add chicken broth and water. Bring to simmer.
Add cooked meat to mix and simmer for 10 minutes.
Stir in soy sauce and lime juice.
Optional: Add noodles or rice if desired.
Enjoy!
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
At the company water cooler, bragged about the
children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia,
another was working in southern Italy, and the daughter was
completing a year-long research project in India.
One co-worker's quip, however, stopped short.
"What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids
want to get so far away from you?"
___________________________________________________
| the piano player
|
____________________________________________________
The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so
the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly
at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the
rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute
$1,000."
Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the
rich man on the shoulder.
He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will
increase my donation to $5,000."
Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again
and he screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."
He sat down and an even larger chunk of plaster fell, this
time hitting him on the head.
He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give
$20,000!"
This prompted a deacon to shout,
"Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"
__________________________________________________
British bus drivers always like stopping in the biggest
puddle on the block, but this one seems to have gotten a
bit carried away.
____________________________________________________
| We celebrate the heroes of history, why do we not celebrate the heroines of which there are many?
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 15
1784 The first balloon was flown in Ireland.
1813 U.S. troops under James Wilkinson attacked the Spanish
held city of Mobile that would be in the future state of
Alabama.
1850 The city of San Francisco was incorporated.
1858 At the Battle of Azimghur, the Mexicans defeated
Spanish loyalists.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln mobilized the Federal army.
1871 "Wild Bill" Hickok became the marshal of Abilene, Kansas.
1892 The General Electric Company was organized.
1899 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Portland Cement Co
1912 The ocean liner Titanic sank in the North Atlantic
after hitting an iceberg the evening before. 1,517 people
died and more than 700 people survived.
1917 The British defeated the Germans at the battle of Arras.
1919 British troops killed 400 Indians at Amritsar, India.
1923 Insulin became generally available for people suffering
with diabetes.
1940 French and British troops landed at Narvik, Norway.
1948 The Arabs were defeated in the first Jewish-Arab battle.
1952 The first B-52 prototype was tested in the air.
1953 Charlie Chaplin surrendered his U.S. re-entry permit
rather than face proceedings by the U.S. Justice Department.
Chaplin was accused of sympathizing with Communist groups.
1959 Cuban leader Fidel Castro began a U.S. goodwill tour.
1983 Tokyo Disneyland opened.
1986 U.S. F-111 warplanes attacked Libya in response to the
bombing of a discotheque in Berlin on April 5, 1986.
1989 Students in Beijing launched a series of pro democracy
protests upon the death of former Communist Party leader
Hu Yaobang.
1989 In Sheffield, England, 96 people were killed and hundreds
were injured at a soccer game at Hillsborough Stadium when
a crowd surged into an overcrowded standing area. Ninety-four
died on the day of the incident and two more later died
from their injuries.
1994 The World Trade Organization was established.
1998 Pol Pot died at the age of 73. The leader of the Khmer
Rouge regime thereby evaded prosecution for the deaths of
2 million Cambodians.
1999 In Rawalpindi, Pakistan, a panel of two Lahore High Court
judges convicted former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto and
her husband, Asif Ali Zardari, of corruption.
2000 600 anti-IMF (International Monetary Fund) protesters
were arrested in Washington, DC, for demonstrating without
a permit.
2016 smiled.
|
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Thursday, April 14, 2016, 09:32 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 14
Daniel wrote that he uses the ridiculously expensive
aerosol cans, that cause brain damage and kill people,
in his work restroring old padlocks.
Tiny air compressors that produce up to 300 pounds
per square inch compressed air for inflating tires
and come with all kinds of fittings, incuding a needle
tip for inflating balls, are $15 - $20.
Just google for "small air compressors" and take your pick.
Find one sold locally, so that you don't have to pay
shipping. For $15 - $20 once, you will never have to buy
dangerous cans again.
By the way, the easiest method to get cookie crumbs and dirt
out of keyboards is to lay some newspaper onto the floor,
and slam the keyboard upside down onto the newspaper.
Do it a few times and teach it a lesson about all those
typos!
After that just use a sponge moistened with dish water or
window cleaner, and rub the still upside down keyboard.
Then slam it, still upside down, onto a towel on the floor.
After that is is like new and didn't cost you anything.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Drunk Pennsylvania guy, who made a fake DUI checkpoint,
gets charged with DUI
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 14, in
1988 In New York, real estate tycoons Harry and Leona
Helmsley were indicted for income tax evasion.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
--- Will Rogers
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but
didn't quite make it.
She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the
father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $1500."
He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born
on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived:
"Greens Fee: $500."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the
pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of
Woods.
The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used
them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come
in and demand his money back.
But the next time he came in, he was all smiles.
"They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact,
I've discovered I can throw them at least 10 yards farther
than I could my last ones."
______________________________________________________
Dubai Gardens
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Logan Shaulis,
20,
Somerset,
Pennsylvania
Drunk guy makes fake DUI checkpoint,
gets charged with DUI
A Pennsylvania man set up a fake drunken-driving checkpoint
only to be charged with drunken driving himself when real
troopers arrived to investigate.
The (Somerset) Daily American says 20-year-old Logan Shaulis
will be sentenced June 27. He pleaded guilty Thursday to
drunken driving, possessing instruments of crime, and
impersonating a public servant.
Police say Shaulis used a flashing blue light bar, parked
diagonally across state Route 601 and set up road flares
about 4 a.m. on May 30.
A motorist who stopped says Shaulis claimed he was a trooper
with the “drug and alcohol division” and demanded to see her
identification.
When police arrived, Shaulis tried to hand a BB pistol to the
car’s passenger, saying he couldn’t get caught with it.
Shaulis’ attorney says Shaulis has since completed substance
abuse treatment.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Ria
RE: Linux BASH on Windows?
Dear Webby
I heard that W10 Now has access to thge Linux Bash shell
or will really soon. Is that true?
Is it a real Linux/UNIX bash shell, or just a relabled
DOS shell?
How easy is it to get it, and how reliable is it, compared
to real Linux?
Ria
Dear Ria
First, it is not easy to get. You have to sign up for all
kinds of stuff and agree, that there won't be any guarantees
whatsoever. Microsoft says it COULD work.
After that, and joining some insider developers gang, you can
download and install it.
I would highly recommend that you first save a mirror image
of your hard drive onto a spare drive.
Eventually most bash commands, that you use on Linux, should
work, just like DOS commands work when you go to the command
line in Windows with START, cmd.
That does not mean you can run Linux programs or Linux
versions of programs. For that you need real Linux.
If you have a bunch of BASH programs (Linux/UNIX equivalent
of DOS bat files), then you can now use those for sorting
and weeding out files on Windows 10, just like you do on your
Linux machines.
By the time they force us to "upgrade" to Windows 15 or 16,
Windows will have a version that is just another flavor of
Linux, like Linux Ubuntu is a flavor.
That has been announced a long time ago. Windows is getting
too big and slow because of trying to cope with old versions
of software, so they are going to make a clean break some day
and possibly split off a professional version, that runs
Linux Microsoft.
The big problem is that Linux is free, and Microsoft is
allergic to that concept. It will be interesting!
But not yet. For now you are better off converting your bash
files to DOS bat files. DOS is alive and well deep down
inside of Windows.
I use a bat file that uses xcopy with a bunch of neat
switches to do my backup to an external drive.
That backup bat file is from Windows 3.1, just has a lot
more lines added to it.
Xcopy is the DOS equivalent of UNIX rsync, but without the
silly authentication rigmarole, and with more switches than
rsync has. Yes, sometimes I wish there was a DOS shell for
Linux.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next
morning."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Salt Spout Mason Jar
By lalala...
Don't throw that empty salt container away. You can remove
the top with the spout and cut it down to fit inside a mason
jar ring! Now you can put all kind of things in the jar and
easily pour out the amount you want.
For best results dip the cardboard
cut-out from the salt box in spar varnish or any good,
waterproof varnish. Even spray on varnish works. You will
have to wiggle the spout a bit while the varnish is setting
up, so that it does not lock. When I was living in the bush
in the Yukon I even used pasta sauce jars with screw top
caps, marked and poked a hole into the lid and then glued one
of my varnished cardboard toppers onto the screw-on cap.
No need to buy expensive mason jars for that.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could deliver
their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor
came out to talk to him.
The doctor said, "I have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad
news is that it is a cesarean."
Ole started crying, and said, "Vel, I'm glad it is a
healthy baby, but being from Minnasohta, I vas kinda hoping
it vould be Norvegian.
___________________________________________________
| fight for your life - Fed Ex Flight 705 - Intense
|
____________________________________________________
Thanks to Father Time for this one:
At Heathrow Airport, a 300-foot long red carpet stretches out
to Air Force One and Mr. Bush strides to a warm but dignified h
and shake from Queen Elizabeth II.
They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of
central London where they then board an open 17th century
coach pulled by six magnificent white matching horses. They
ride toward Buckingham Palace, each looking sideways and
waving to the thousands of cheering Britons.
So far everything is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most
horrendous, earth-rending, eye-smarting blast of flatulence
ever heard in the British Empire and so powerful,that it
shakes the coach.
Uncomfortable, but under control, the two Dignitaries of
State do their best to ignore the incident.
But, embarrassed, the Queen decides it's impossible to ignore
it.
"Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you
understand that there are some things not even a Queen can
control."
Ever the Texas gentleman, the President replies, "Your
Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You
know, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it
was one of the horses."
__________________________________________________
Short on funds, Lisa decided with some apprehension to let
her roommate, a professional dog groomer, give her a haircut.
To her relief, she did a terrific job. "It's great!" she said.
"But how can I be sure to get the same style the next time
I go to the beauty shop?"
"Simple," she answered. "Just say you want the top cut like
a poodle, the sides like a schnauzer, and the back like a
Lhasa apso."
____________________________________________________
| Where's my back pack!
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 14
1775 The first abolitionist society in U.S. was organized
in Philadelphia with Ben Franklin as president.
1793 A royalist rebellion in Santo Domingo was crushed by
French republican troops.
1860 The first Pony Express rider arrived in San Francisco
with mail originating in St. Joseph, MO.
1865 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in
Ford's Theater by John Wilkes Booth. He actually died
early the next morning.
1894 First public showing of Thomas Edison's kinetoscope
took place.
1902 James Cash (J.C.) Penney opened his first retail store
in Kemmerer, WY. It was called the Golden Rule Store.
1912 The Atlantic passenger liner Titanic, on its maiden
voyage hit an iceberg and began to sink. 1,517 people lost
their lives and more than 700 survived.
1931 King Alfonso XIII of Spain went into exile and the
Spanish Republic was proclaimed.
1946 The civil war between Communists and nationalist
resumed in China.
1953 Viet Minh invaded Laos with 40,00 troops.
1956 Ampex Corporation of Redwood City, CA, demonstrated
the first commercial magnetic tape recorder for sound
and picture.
1981 America's first space shuttle, Columbia, returned
to Earth after a three-day test flight. The shuttle
orbited the Earth 36 times during the mission.
1984 The Texas Board of Education began requiring that
the state's public school textbooks describe the evolution
of human beings as "theory rather than fact".
1986 U.S. President Reagan announced the U.S. air raid on
military and terrorist related targets in Libya.
1987 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev proposed banning all
missiles from Europe.
1988 Representatives from the U.S.S.R., Pakistan, Afghanistan
and the U.S. signed an agreement that called for the
withdrawal of Soviet forces from Afghanistan starting on
May 15. The last Soviet troop left Afghanistan on
February 15, 1989.
1988 In New York, real estate tycoons Harry and Leona
Helmsley were indicted for income tax evasion.
1998 The state of Virginia ignored the requests from the
World Court and executed a Paraguayan for the murder of
a U.S. woman.
1999 Pakistan test-fired a ballistic missile that was capable
of carrying a nuclear warhead and reaching its rival neighbor
India.
2002 Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez returned to office two
days after being arrested by his country's military.
2008 Delta Air Lines and Northwest Airlines announced they were
combining.
2016 smiled.
|
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Killed by aerosol duster, that was recommended by morons Wednesday, April 13, 2016, 10:36 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 13
Voting is finally working again!
Do you remember how?
Please try to vote!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Naked Fresno man watering his lawn arrested after
confronting deputies with 8-inch knife
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 13, in
1598 King Henry IV of France signed the Edict of Nantes which
granted political rights to French Protestant Huguenots.
1829 The English Parliament granted freedom of religion to Catholics.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side
in a quarrel.
--- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets.
Someone asked her what the bracelet was for.
She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and raw eggs."
The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?"
The girl said, "I don't know.... I don't eat raw cats."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was
dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make
her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink,
but she refused it.
Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.
Remembering a bottle of rum they had received as a gift the
previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous
amount into the warm milk.
When she walked back to Mother Superior's bed, she held
the glass to her lips.
Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it,
she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us
some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her
face and said…”Don't sell that cow.”
______________________________________________________
MtRainier-Hood-Adams
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Robert Lopez,
37,
Fresno,
California
Naked man watering his lawn arrested after
confronting deputies with 8-inch knife
Neighbors called police after seeing a naked man watering
his lawn Wednesday evening.
When deputies got there they say he was sitting in his yard
drinking a beer - yes - still naked.
According to a press release, 37-year-old Robert Lopez
refused to put on clothes when asked, throwing the glass
beer bottle at them.
The bottle missed, but Lopez continued threatening the
deputy, saying "that he would get a gun and shoot him."
With the situation escalating, the deputy called for
backup, and got his rifle from the car for protection.
Lopez eventually put on a pair of shorts and went inside,
coming back out with a knife with an 8-inch blade that he
threw at the deputy.
Once backup arrived, they used a bean bag round from a
shotgun, which hit Lopez, and allowed authorities to place
him into custody.
Lopez faces felony charges of assault with a deadly weapon
on a peace officer, resisting arrest, and a misdemeanor for
indecent exposure.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Irene
RE: Compressed air cans for cleaning
Dear Webby
I remember that you always get right irate and obnoxious
when some idiot recommends using canned air for cleaning
keyboards or computers, or even having it in the house.
I was reminded of your tirades when I read that a 36 year
old woman in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, died from huffing
aerosol keyboard cleaner in the washroom at the local Staples.
Dead from huffing aerosol keyboard cleaner
There are none of those cans in my house, -I am not stupid-,
but maybe it is time to remind the rest of the subscribers
to check the garage and basement and toss any cans that
might still be lurking. What is actually deadly in it?
Irene
Dear Irene
It definitely is no secret that those aerosol cans designed
to blow dirt to harder to reach places are deadly. It never
ceases to amaze me that otherwise almost sane people still
recommend them.
Aside from the fact, that they kill people, they just move
dirt to harder to reach places. DUH! Real moron malfunction.
Any vacuum cleaner, even a rechargeable car vacuum like you
used to get for subscribing to Popular Mechanics or similar
magazines, will get rid of dirt and dust and cookie crumbs.
Not move it, but get rid of the dirt!
The dangerous stuff in the cans is a Tetrafluoroethan gas.
It doesn't always kill. Sometimes it just causes brain
damage.
Major brand car vacuum cleaners like Dirt Devil or ArmorAll
or Dust Buster are about $25 - $30. They all work and get
rid of dirt and crumbs and dust bunnies.
And of course your regular vacuum cleaner with the crevice
attachment works even better.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Carole was planning her upcoming wedding and asked to wear
her mother's wedding gown. When she tried it on, it was a
perfect fit on her petite frame.
Suddenly, her mother's eyes filled with tears. Putting an
arm around her, Carole lovingly said, "Don't cry, Mom.
Remember, you aren't losing a daughter, you're gaining a
son."
"Oh, forget about that sillinyess!" her mother sobbed. "You know
and I know that he is an idiot, but has a steady job and is just
barely smart enough not to argue with you or me. That doesn't
bother me."
"Then what is it, Mom?", Carole pleaded.
"Waaaaaaaa! Sob, Sniff! I, I, I used to fit into that gown!",
her mother wailed.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Lipstick From Inside a Dryer
By nanaskids0611 [1 Post]
Lipstick in your dryer is easily removed by using Comet
with bleach. I tried so many things and nothing worked, so
I took my Comet with beach and started cleaning my dryer
and wow it took it all out. It was so easy.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Seen on a tee-shirt:
That's enough of that!!!
I'm Calling Grandma!
___________________________________________________
| German engineering - backhoe climbing a tower
|
____________________________________________________
Seen in the paper...
"Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and
lectured on 'Destructive Pests.' A large number were
present."
__________________________________________________
The principal was ready to teach little Johnny a lesson.
He told Johnny to take a seat, he wanted to tell him a story.
He said, "Johnny, the other day I decided to go duck hunting,
but I only had two shots. So, I fired my first shot and killed
two ducks. They were falling out of the sky and fell into a tree,
where they hit four squirrels, and killed them.
So, the two ducks and four squirrels came falling to the
ground where they hit two rabbits and killed them.
Just as I was going to gather up my animals, a bear came
out and started to get them.
Then the weirdest thing happened. A little dog showed up
out of nowhere and attacked the bear, so I was able to get all
the animals I had killed. Now, little Johnny, you believe that
story don't you?"
Little Johnny said, "Sure I do, That's my dog and that's
the third bear she's got this year!"
____________________________________________________
| Where's my back pack!
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 13
1598 King Henry IV of France signed the Edict of Nantes which
granted political rights to French Protestant Huguenots.
1759 The French defeated the European allies in Battle of Bergen.
1829 The English Parliament granted freedom of religion to Catholics.
1849 The Hungarian Republic was proclaimed.
1860 The first mail was delivered via Pony Express when a westbound
rider arrived in Sacremento, CA from St. Joseph, MO.
1861 After 34 hours of bombardment, the Union-held Fort Sumter
surrenders to Confederates.
1916 The first hybrid seed corn was purchased for 15-cents a
bushel by Samuel Ramsay.
1919 British forces killed hundreds of Indian nationalists in
the Amritsar Massacre.
1933 The first flight over Mount Everest was completed by
Lord Clydesdale.
1941 German troops captured Belgrade, Yugoslavia.
1945 Vienna fell to Soviet troops.
1949 Philip S. Hench and associates announced that cortizone
was an effective treatment for rheumatoid arthritis.
1960 The first navigational satellite was launched into Earth's orbit.
1961 The U.N. General Assembly condemned South Africa due to apartheid.
1962 In the U.S., major steel companies rescinded announced price
increases. The John F. Kennedy administration had been applying
pressure against the price increases.
1970 An oxygen tank exploded on Apollo 13, preventing a planned
moon landing.
1976 The U.S. Federal Reserve introduced $2 bicentennial notes.
1979 The world's longest doubles ping-pong match ended after 101 hours.
1984 U.S. President Reagan sent emergency military aid to El Salvador
without congressional approval.
1990 The Soviet Union accepted responsibility for the World War II
murders of thousands of imprisoned Polish officers in the Katyn Forest.
The Soviets had previously blamed the massacre on the Nazis.
1998 Dolly, the world's first cloned sheep, gave natural birth to a
healthy baby lamb.
1999 Jack Kervorkian was sentenced in Pontiac, MI, to 10 to 25
years in prison for the second-degree murder of Thomas Youk.
Youk's assisted suicide was videotaped and shown on "60 Minutes"
2002 Twenty-five Hindus were killed and about 30 were wounded when
grenades were thrown by suspected Islamic guerrillas near Jammu-Kashir.
2002 Venezuela's interim president, Pedro Carmona, resigned a day
after taking office. Thousands of protesters had protested
over the ousting of president Hugo Chavez.
2016 smiled.
|
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Move icon to the task bar Tuesday, April 12, 2016, 07:11 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 12
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Virginia auto repair shop robber
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 12, in
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously
called an old man for the first time.
--- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Mother: "How's your history paper coming?"
Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the
Internet for research and it's been very helpful.
Mother: "Really?"
Son: "Yes, I checked Effectivepapers.com and
they have everything I need to pass."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital.
"This is the most hazardous section in the hospital for you.
The men on this floor are almost well."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dad for this picture:
Amarilis
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Thomas Earl Lewis Jr.
28,
Newport news,
Virginia
Virginia auto repair shop robber
The suspect involved in a robbery of auto repair shop
workers is behind bars.
Police say that on Tuesday, Thomas Earl Lewis Jr. left
his vehicle at the shop located in the 11000 block of
Jefferson Avenue for repairs. Lewis came back to the shop
and asked for his vehicle, which was still being worked
on. When told his vehicle was not ready, Lewis reportedly
became angry and pulled out a handgun.
Lewis then robbed two shop workers of their cell phones,
car keys and other items. Lewis then left the scene in a
silver colored vehicle. The shop workers then called 911.
Police located Lewis after noticing the vehicle in the
victim’s description at a traffic light.
Lewis was arrested and charged with two counts of robbery
and two counts of use of a firearm in the commission of a
felony.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Sharon
RE: Move icon to the task bar
Dear Webby
I am trying out how to put a desktop icon on the taskbar also.
On my desktop I have a shortcut icon for "Outlook Express"
& would like to also have the icon on the taskbar.I want it
on the taskbar and on the desktop too.
Thanks, Sharon
Dear Sharon
Just drag the icon onto the taskbar next to the START button.
If you hold down SHIFT while you do that, it will MOVE it,
if you hold down CTRL, it will leave the old one and put a
copy onto the taskbar.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends
and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She
looked at the photos and commented
"These are very good! You must have a good camera."
He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to
go home he said: "That was a really delicious meal! You
must have a very good stove."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Soda Can Lantern as Outdoor Decor
By KIM HOGGAN [34 Posts, 60 Comments]
Approximate Time: 5 minutes
Supplies:
soda can
a little knife
battery tea light
a hook such as a paper clip
Steps:
Gather your supplies.
Get any soda can and begin to cut about an inch
below top of rim.
Carefully and slowly cut 9 lines of equal width.
Use a pencil, spatula handle, or anything else to seperate
the rows. Bend the center of each row.
Make one opening a bit bigger to insert the tea light.
Once done, using both hands the can should easily bend
and spring up and down.
Pull the cap up and hang a paper clip or hook.
Finally hang wherever you'd like. My spiral wind spinner
already had a hole at the end and so I hung it there.
Enjoy! :)
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed
several students on their hands and knees assessing
the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.
"What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.
"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen
ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving
this courtyard."
When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend
asked our guide: "So what's the answer?"
The guide replied: "One."
___________________________________________________
| Dixie with Ella and Elvis
|
____________________________________________________
A man told his friend, "I haven't been feeling very well,
so I visited the doctor yesterday."
His friend was concerned and asked,
"Did he find out what you had?"
"Almost," answered the man.
"What do you mean by 'almost'?" asked his friend.
"Well," the man continued, "I had $76.50
and he charged me $75.00."
____________________________________________________
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives
alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,
loses control and crashes into the ditch.
The farmer comes out and finding the politicians,
buries them.
The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the
man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police
officer. "Were they all dead?"
The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know
how politicians lie."
____________________________________________________
| TWhere's my back pack!
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 12
1096 Peter the Hermit gathered his army in Cologne.
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople.
1606 England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag.
1782 The British navy won its only naval engagement against
the colonists in the American Revolution at the Battle
of Saints, off Dominica.
1799 Phineas Pratt patented the comb cutting machine.
1811 The first colonists arrived at Cape Disappointment,
Washington.
1833 Charles Gaylor patented the fireproof safe.
1861 Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting
America's Civil War.
1864 Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest captured Fort
Pillow, in Tennessee and slaughtered the black Union
troops there.
1892 Voters in Lockport, New York, became the first in the
U.S. to use voting machines.
1911 Pierre Prier completed the first non-stop London-Paris
flight in three hours and 56 minutes.
1916 American cavalrymen and Mexican bandit troops clashed
at Parrel, Mexico.
1927 The British Cabinet came out in favor of women
voting rights.
1938 The first U.S. law requiring a medical test for a
marriage license was enacted in New York.
1944 The U.S. Twentieth Air Force was activated to begin
the strategic bombing of Japan.
1945 In New York, the organization of the first eye bank,
the Eye Bank for Sight Restoration, was announced.
1955 The University of Michigan Polio Vaccine Evaluation
Center announced that the polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk
was "safe, effective and potent."
1961 Soviet Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became first man to
orbit the Earth.
1963 Police used dogs and cattle prods on peaceful civil
rights demonstrators in Birmingham, AL.
1981 The space shuttle Columbia blasted off from Cape
Canaveral, FL, on its first test flight.
1982 The British Navy began enforcing a blockade around
the Falkland Islands.
1984 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Challenger made
the first satellite repair in orbit by returning the
Solar Max satellite to space.
1984 Israeli troops stormed a bus that had been hijacked
the previous evening by four Arab terrorists. All the
passengers were rescued and 2 of the hijackers were killed.
1985 U.S. Senator Jake Garn of Utah became the first senator
to fly in space.
1985 In Spain, an explosion in a restaurant near a U.S. base
killed 17 people.
1985 Federal inspectors declared that four animals of the
Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus were not
unicorns. They were goats with horns that had been surgically
implanted.
1987 Texaco filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy after it failed to
settle a legal dispute with Pennzoil Co.
1988 Harvard University won a patent for a genetically altered
mouse. It was the first patent for a life form.
1989 In the U.S.S.R, ration cards were issued for the first
time since World War II. The ration was prompted by a sugar
shortage.
1993 NATO began enforcing a no-fly zone over Bosnia and
Herzegovina.
2000 More than 1,500 anti-drug agents raided four cities
in Colombia and arrested 46 members of the "most
powerful" heroin ring.
2000 Israel's High Court ordered the release of eight
Lebanese detainees that had been held for years without
a trial.
2002 It was announced that the South African version of
"Sesame Street" would be introducing a character that
was HIV-positive.
2016 smiled.
|
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Friday, April 8, 2016, 09:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
There won't be any newsletters on Saturday, Sunday or Monday.
I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs
today.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh man, who was arrested after he left his own wallet
with ID at the scene of an armed robbery.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 8, in
1525 Albert von Brandenburg, the leader of the Teutonic Order,
assumes the title "Duke of Prussia" and passed the first laws
of the Protestant church, making Prussia a Protestant state.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny:
the officious demands of policemen, government clerks,
and electromechanical gadgets.
--- Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A woman went to a computer dating service and said she
didn't care about looks, income or background. All she
wanted was a man of upright character.
Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was
seeking in a woman was intelligence.
The service matched them together instantly. They both
had identical scores on the BS meter.
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
A third grade class is doing some spelling drills. The
teacher asks Tommy if he can spell "before."
He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."
The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell
before?"
Another little boy stands up and says, "Before,
B-E-F-O-O-R."
Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher
asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?"
Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."
"Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?"
Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Devonte Levoris Pace,
28,
Panama City,
Floriduh
Floriduh man, who was arrested after he left his own wallet
with ID at the scene of an armed robbery.
A man accused of robbing two men of their wallets allegedly
dropped his own wallet while fleeing the scene, according to
arrest records.
Devonte Levoris Pace, 28, was arrested Tuesday as a principal
to armed robbery and grand theft following the incident.
Panama City Police reports allege Pace was one of three men
involved in an armed robbery Jan. 16 outside the Watershed,
1118 Bayview Ave. PCPD reported that the trio walked up on
two men sitting in a car and pulled a gun on the victims,
demanding their money and wallets. The men stole about $600
in cash and then fled on foot, PCPD reported.
However, during the getaway, Pace allegedly dropped his own
wallet, which contained his Florida ID. He was also allegedly
captured on surveillance video, police reported.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Vi
Re: Scam calls
Dear Webby
I got this forward from a cousin and looked to see if it
was on the Hoax list. I didn't see it but thought you
might know about it.
> I received a telephone call last evening from an individual identifying
> himself as an AT&T Service technician who was conducting a test on
> telephone lines. He stated that to complete the test I should touch
> nine(9), zero(0),
> the pound sign (#), and then hang up. ....
Vi
Dear Vi
That trick with forwarding the phone works in some areas,
but not exactly the same way all across the country.
However, REAL phone techs NEVER ask you to do silly stuff
like that. They have much easier ways to check your line,
without bothering you..
Depending on your mood at the time, there are various ways
to respond if somebody asks you to punch ANY numbers on
the phone.
You could for example tell him that he must have the
wrong number because you don't have a phone. Feel free
to practise any insults that you remember from your teen
years. What the scammers are trying to do is get you to
forward the call, on YOUR billing, to some Caribbean or
Asian country and then call all day on your bill.
By the way, all phone companies recommend that if something
like that happens, that you DO NOT punch in any number and
immediately afterward dial zero for the operator and tell
them all about it. They can trace the last call, and they
will send some really big phone techs over there to tune
the crook in to phone company policy.
They get right miffed when some two-bit crook is trying to
give them a bad name.
Calling the operator may or may not work with your phone
company. You might have to look up their operator's number
in the GET A HUMAN link on the right side-menu here.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A deputy stopped a man for speeding in a residential
neighborhood. The man begged the deputy not to give him
a ticket, saying that he was handling an emergency. The
deputy asked if the emergency was life threatening.
The man said, "When my wife finds out I got another
ticket, it will be."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Soda Can Lantern as Outdoor Decor
By KIM HOGGAN [34 Posts, 60 Comments]
Approximate Time: 5 minutes
Supplies:
soda can
a little knife
battery tea light
a hook such as a paper clip
Steps:
Gather your supplies.
Get any soda can and begin to cut about an inch
below top of rim.
Carefully and slowly cut 9 lines of equal width.
Use a pencil, spatula handle, or anything else to seperate
the rows. Bend the center of each row.
Make one opening a bit bigger to insert the tea light.
Once done, using both hands the can should easily bend
and spring up and down.
Pull the cap up and hang a paper clip or hook.
Finally hang wherever you'd like. My spiral wind spinner
already had a hole at the end and so I hung it there.
Enjoy! :)
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
John brought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner. As
they arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms
around John and kissed him passionately.
"My goodness", said Peter, "and how long have you been
married?"
"22 years", replied John.
"You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like
that after all those years."
"Don't be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous."
___________________________________________________
| poor little boy got his head stuck
|
____________________________________________________
Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to
me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when
my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on
the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse.
Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour
and 45 minutes!"
----------
I usually just have a nap and embarrass them into calling
me sooner than they do others, who are not napping.
____________________________________________________
>From Glenda
After booking my 96 year old aunt on a flight from Florida
to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The
representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair
and an attendant for my aunt because of her arthritis and
impaired vision and absentmindedness..
My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured
me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her
profusely.
"Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up
when she cheerfully asked,
"And will your aunt need a rental car?"
____________________________________________________
| The Entire Alphabet Carved Into Mechanical Pencil Lead
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 8
1513 Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain.
1525 Albert von Brandenburg, the leader of the Teutonic Order,
assumes the title "Duke of Prussia" and passed the first laws
of the Protestant church, making Prussia a Protestant state.
1832 About 300 American troops of the 6th Infantry left
Jefferson Barracks, St. Louis, to confront the Sauk Indians
in the Black Hawk War.
1873 Alfred Paraf patented the first successful oleomargarine.
1939 Italy invaded Albania.
1942 The Soviets opened a rail link to the besieged city of Leningrad.
1952 U.S. President Truman seized steel mills to prevent a nationwide strike.
1953 The bones of Sitting Bull were moved from North Dakota to South Dakota.
1962 Bay of Pigs invaders got thirty years imprisonment in Cuba.
1985 India filed suit against Union Carbide for the Bhopal disaster.
1985 Phyllis Diller underwent a surgical procedure for permanent eyeliner
to eliminate the need for eyelid makeup.
1986 Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, CA.
1990 In Nepal, King Birendra lifted the 30-year ban on political parties.
1992 In Britain, the last issue of "Punch Magazine" was published.
1994 Smoking was banned in the Pentagon and all U.S. military bases.
2002 Ed McMahon filed a $20 million lawsuit against his insurance company,
two insurance adjusters, and several environmental cleanup contractors.
The suit alleged breach of contract, negligence and intentional infliction
of emotional distress concerning a toxic mold that had spread through
McMahon's Beverly Hills home.
2016 smiled.
|
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Thursday, April 7, 2016, 10:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 7
The Ezinefinder is working again!
Got 29 votes. Looks like a lot of steady voters have
retired.
Let's show them that we did not forget how to vote!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oklahoma
Salad bar slob arrested for assaulting off-duty cop
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 7, in
1712 A slave revolt broke out in New York City.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool;
and he who dares not is a slave.
--- Sir William Drummond
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income
tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--- Arthur C. Clarke
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A young mother paying a visit to a friend and her husband, who
was the village doctor. She made no attempt to restrain her
five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But
finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say,
"I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."
"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet soon. Those are
just different snake poisons."
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
Linda is from New Jersey, a state where pumping your
own gas is prohibited. So when she moved to Florida, she
had to get used to to self-serve stations. Linda was
embarrassed when she stopped for gas in Orlando and
couldn't figure out how to use the pump.
Finally she went into the station and confessed to the women
behind the counter that she needed help.
One said, "Honey, are you a widow,
or are you from New Jersey?"
______________________________________________________
Snoqualmie Falls Washington
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Lindsay Williams,
29,
Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma
Salad bar slob arrested for assaulting off-duty cop
An Oklahoma woman who kept using her bare hands to scoop
lettuce from a salad bar bowl allegedly punched an
off-duty cop in the face after being told to cease her
unsanitary behavior.
According to investigators, a female sheriff’s deputy was
having lunch Friday afternoon with her two children at
Mazzio’s Pizza when she was assaulted by Lindsay Williams, 29.
As detailed in an Oklahoma City Police Department report,
Deputy Adebola Atoka was “at the salad bar selecting food
for her plate” when she spotted Williams using “her bare
hands to grab salad out of the salad bowl.”
Atoka, cops noted, alerted restaurant staffers, “who
changed out the salad.”
After the lettuce had been replaced, Williams returned to
the salad bar and again dug in with her hands, prompting
Atoka to tell her that, “she should not do that.”
Williams, police allege, responded by punching Atoka in
the face, a blow that knocked the deputy’s glasses off.
Seen above, Williams was subsequently arrested for
assault and battery.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Lee
Re: Formatting DVDs
Dear Webby
I've recently reformated some DVD-r's which I had personal
data on.
In reformating the computer says all will be lost. Is that
absolutely true? I don't want a reuser to gain anything
from them.
Thanks,
Lee
Dear Lee
Yes, formatting erases everything.
For absolute military grade security, put them into the
Microwave for 45 seconds and watch the miniature lightning
storm. They look quite cute after that and can never be
re-used. NOTHING can recover anything after that.
They make really cute coasters. When AOL was still sending
their CDs around, I exorcised them that way. Those coasters
last for many years.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A Sunday-school teacher was trying to explain about saying grace
before meals. One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of
that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, "Jerry,
what does you father say when the family sits down to dinner?"
Jerry answered, "He says 'Go easy on the butter, kids -- it's
four bucks a pound!'"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Honey Lemon Cake
By attosa [191 Posts, 467 Comments]
Approximate Time: 50 minutes
Yield: 10 servingsHoney Lemon Cake
Ingredients:
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup honey
1 Tbsp butter or oil
1 Tbsp lemon zest
1/4 cup lemon juice
Glaze
3/4 cup powdered sugar
3 tsp lemon juice and some lemon zest
Steps:
Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a 9 x 9 inch baking pan.
Combine egg, applesauce, honey, butter or oil, zest and lemon
juice. Whisk thoroughly.
Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.
Whisk thoroughly.
Fold dry ingredients into wet, eliminating all lumps.
Pour batter into pan.
Bake in 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Remove and cool.
To make the glaze, combine the powdered sugar, lemon juice
and zest. Mix with a clean whisk until it is smooth.
Pour over the cooled cake.
In this example, I cut my 9 inch cake and half, put a bit
of glaze on layer one, then most on the very top.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Father O'Malley answers the phone: "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"
"It is"
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"I can"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will".
___________________________________________________
| Discussing who gets the car tonight :D
|
____________________________________________________
Thanks to Roland for this one:
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm
getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."
"That's not senility," replied the doctor.
"Senility is when you forget to zip down."
____________________________________________________
A young man walked into the insurance office to purchase
coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused
him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"
It has a kickstand," he replied. "Is that the same thing?"
____________________________________________________
| An amazing aerial hoop performance on
“The World’s Greatest Cabaret” French television show.
|
Power of puppies
Today on April 7
1712 A slave revolt broke out in New York City.
1864 The first camel race in America was held in Sacramento,
California.
1922 U.S. Secretary of Interior leased Teapot Dome naval oil
reserves in Wyoming.
1930 The first steel columns were set for the Empire State Building.
1933 Prohibition ended in the United States.
1943 British and American armies linked up between Wadi Akarit
and El Guettar in North Africa to form a solid line against
the German army.
1945 The Japanese battleship Yamato, the world’s largest
battleship, was sunk during the battle for Okinawa. The fleet
was headed for a suicide mission.
1953 IBM unveiled the IBM 701 Electronic Data Processing
Machine. It was IBM's first commercially available scientific
computer.
1963 Yugoslavia proclaimed itself a Socialist republic.
1963 Josip Broz Tito was proclaimed to be the leader of
Yugoslavia for life.
1966 The U.S. recovered a hydrogen bomb it had lost off
the coast of Spain.
1967 Israel reported that they had shot down six Syrian MIGs.
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously struck down laws
prohibiting private possession of obscene material.
1970 John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his role
in "True Grit." He had been in over 200 films.
1971 U.S. President Nixon pledged to withdraw 100,000 more
men from Vietnam by December.
1980 The U.S. broke diplomatic relations with Iran and imposed
economic sanctions in response to the taking of hostages
on November 4, 1979.
1983 Specialist Story Musgrave and Don Peterson made the first
Space Shuttle spacewalk.
1983 The Chinese government canceled all remaining sports and
cultural exchanges with the U.S. for 1983.
1985 The Soviet Union announced a unilateral freeze on
medium-range nuclear missiles.
1988 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev agreed to final terms of
a Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan. Soviet troops began
leaving on May 16, 1988.
1988 In Fort Smith, AR, 13 white supremacists were acquitted
on charges for plotting to overthrow the U.S. federal government.
1989 A Soviet submarine carrying nuclear weapons sank in the
Norwegian Sea.
1990 In the U.S., John Poindexter was found guilty of five counts
at his Iran-Contra trial. The convictions were later reversed
on appeal.
1998 Mary Bono, the widow of Sonny Bono, won a special election
to serve out the remainder of her husband's congressional term.
1999 Yugoslav authorities sealed off Kosovo's main border crossings
to prevent ethnic Albanians from leaving.
2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the Senior Citizens Freedom
to Work Act of 2000. The bill reversed a Depression-era law
and allows senior citizens to earn money without losing
Social Security retirement benefits.
2006 The Boeing X-37 conducted its first flight as a test drop
at Edwards Air Force Base, CA.
2009 Former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori was sentenced
to 25 years in prison for ordering killings and kidnappings
by security forces.
2016 smiled.
|
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Wednesday, April 6, 2016, 10:17 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 6
The Ezinefinder is working again!
The votes from the first third of the year were not counted,
but theoretically, any new votes will count.
let's show them that we did not forget how to vote!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Massachusetts man, who was angry that Taco Bell was closed,
rammed ATM vestibule, knocked himself out.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 6, in
1814 Granted sovereignty in the island of Elba and a pension
from the French government, Napoleon Bonaparte abdicates
at Fountainebleau. He was allowed to keep the title of emperor.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are
decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other
lousy two percent that get all the publicity.
But then--we elected them.
--- Lily Tomlin (1939 - )
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
--- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
At the conclusion of his lecture to a group of young recruits,
the legendary paratrooper asked for questions. A hand shot
up. "What made you decide to make that first jump, sir?"
Without hesitating, the paratrooper replied, "An airplane at
eighteen thousand feet with a bad engine."
______________________________________________________
>From Max
My wife doesn't complain often, but once she was having
a old-fashioned "heart-to-heart" with me and said,
"Hon, you never listen to me. Every time I try to talk to
you, you get this far-away look in your eyes after only a
few seconds. Please promise me you'll try to work on that."
The last thing I remember was replying, "I'm sorry, what
was that you were saying?"
______________________________________________________
Lemua
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Derrick LaForest,
33,
Pittsfield,
Massachusetts.
Massachusetts man, who was angry that Taco Bell was closed,
rammed ATM vestibule, knocked himself out.
A city man was knocked unconscious early Thursday when he
rammed his car into an unused ATM vestibule after becoming
upset that Taco Bell was closed.
Derrick C. LaForest, 33, allegedly told police he had, "no
idea," how he hit the building.
Witnesses said LaForest, of Argyle Road, pulled up to the
Taco Bell drive-thru window shortly after 1:30 a.m. and began
honking his horn.
When no one answered at the window, LaForest allegedly "laid
on the horn for at least two minutes," before a staff member
went outside and told him the restaurant was closed.
LaForest then sped through the drive-thru lane and
accelerated through the Taco Bell parking lot at high speeds,
witnesses said. He then struck a curb, lost control of the
car, hit a second curb and smashed into a small structure
which formerly housed a TD Bank ATM.
The vehicle's airbag deployed and both the vehicle and the
building suffered "extensive" damage, according to police.
Several Taco Bell employees went to the car and dragged
LaForest's unconscious body out while police were en route.
He had a cut over his eye and refused medical treatment,
police said.
LaForest told police he went to the restaurant and when he
learned it was closed, drove away and somehow hit the
building.
He pleaded not guilty in Central Berkshire District Court to
charges of reckless operation of a motor vehicle and
vandalism.
Judge William O'Grady released LaForest on $500 bail and
ordered him back in court on May 3 for a pretrial hearing.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Martha
Re: Classic Children Stories
Dear Webby
You had a link once for the traditional, classical children
stories. Can you please find that again ?
Thanks
Martha
Dear Martha
The best presentation of the classical Grimm Brothers tales
in English is probably at the National Geographic site:
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/grimm/
Keep in mind, these are ancient stories written down in the
1800's from oral tradition, and may not necessarily all be
politically correct in modern suburbia. They are still good
stories though, and since they are frequently referred to
in all kinds of literature, I would definitely recommend them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband
asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas,
but she couldn't remember.
"You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could
account for the engine running so rough."
"No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.
"Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband.
"It cost the same as always," said the wife. "I bought the
usual ten dollars worth to get me home."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Honey Lemon Cake
By attosa [191 Posts, 467 Comments]
Approximate Time: 50 minutes
Yield: 10 servingsHoney Lemon Cake
Ingredients:
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup honey
1 Tbsp butter or oil
1 Tbsp lemon zest
1/4 cup lemon juice
Glaze
3/4 cup powdered sugar
3 tsp lemon juice and some lemon zest
Steps:
Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a 9 x 9 inch baking pan.
Combine egg, applesauce, honey, butter or oil, zest and lemon
juice. Whisk thoroughly.
Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.
Whisk thoroughly.
Fold dry ingredients into wet, eliminating all lumps.
Pour batter into pan.
Bake in 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Remove and cool.
To make the glaze, combine the powdered sugar, lemon juice
and zest. Mix with a clean whisk until it is smooth.
Pour over the cooled cake.
In this example, I cut my 9 inch cake and half, put a bit
of glaze on layer one, then most on the very top.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend.
___________________________________________________
| push ups with a polar bear
|
____________________________________________________
BOY : Since we met, I haven't been able to eat or drink.
GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I'm broke.
BOY : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
GIRL : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.
____________________________________________________
I was in line at the store checkout. In front of me was a mother
with her college-age son and his girlfriend. It was in the middle
of the lunch rush, and many customers were restless at the
long wait, but the young couple, holding hands and kissing,
were oblivious to everything around them.
Although clearly not approving, the mother was silent until one
prolonged kiss when the young man had his face and hands
buried in his girlfriend's long, curly locks.
"Do you have to do that here?" the embarrassed mother asked.
"I'm not doing anything, Mom," came her son's muffled voice.
"My nose ring is caught in her hair."
____________________________________________________
| This Guy Carves Miniature Artworks Onto the Tips of Pencils.....how does he do that! |
Power of puppies
Today on April 6
1199 English King Richard I was killed by an arrow at the
siege of the castle of Chaluz in France.
1652 Jan van Riebeeck established a settlement at Cape Town,
South Africa.
1814 Granted sovereignty in the island of Elba and a pension
from the French government, Napoleon Bonaparte abdicates
at Fountainebleau. He was allowed to keep the title of emperor.
1830 Joseph Smith and five others organized the Mormon Church
in western New York.
1830 Relations between the Texans and Mexico reached a new low
when Mexico would not allow further emigration into Texas by
settlers from the U.S.
1875 Alexander Graham Bell was granted a patent for the multiple
telegraph, which sent two signals at the same time.
1896 The first modern Olympic Games began in Athens, Greece.
1909 Americans Robert Peary and Matthew Henson claimed to be
the first men to reach the North Pole.
1916 Charlie Chaplin became the highest-paid film star in the
world when he signed a contract with Mutual Film Corporation
for $675,000 a year. He was 26 years old.
1917 The U.S. Congress approved a declaration of war on Germany
and entered World War I on the Allied side.
1938 The United States recognized the German conquest of Austria.
1941 German forces invaded Greece and Yugoslavia.
1953 Iranian Premier Mossadegh demanded that the shah's power
be reduced.
1965 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson authorized the use of
ground troops in combat operations in Vietnam.
1967 In South Vietnam, 1,500 Viet Cong attacked Quangtri and
freed 200 prisoners.
1981 A Yugoslav Communist Party official confirmed reports of
intense ethnic riots in Kosovo.
1983 The U.S. Veteran's Administration announced it would give
free medical care for conditions traceable to radiation exposure
to more than 220,000 veterans who participated in nuclear tests
from 1945 to 1962.
1998 Federal researchers in the U.S. announced that daily
tamoxifen pills could cut breast cancer risk among high-risk women.
1998 Pakistan successfully tested medium-range missiles capable of
attacking neighboring India.
2016 smiled.
|
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How to deal with Chain Letter Believers Tuesday, April 5, 2016, 10:27 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 5
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Alabama math teacher arrested for sex with student
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 5, in
1806 Isaac Quintard patented the cider mill.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah
started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she
was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her
mother, "and I'll grant them."
Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand
and proclaimed the request fulfilled. Next, her mother
requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a
sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged. The mother, with a
glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish,
"I wish to have a trim figure again."
The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly,
and throwing furtive glances at her mother, checking for the
first signs of any results.
Finally she sighed and exclaimed: "For THAT I'll need more
power!"
______________________________________________________
An older Jewish man is on the operating table awaiting
surgery. He has insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation. As he is about to receive the
anesthesia, the patient asks to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, do your best, and just remember, if
it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother
is going to come and live with you and your wife."
______________________________________________________
Weeping Cherry Tree, Tokyo
A weeping cherry tree at Rikugien Garden in Tokyo's Bunkyo Ward
is seen almost in full bloom on March 29, 2016. The place is
designated as a national spot of scenic beauty, and its famous
weeping cherry tree -- about 15 meters tall and 20 meters wide
-- is now 80 percent in bloom. The faint pink-colored cherry
blossom can be enjoyed until early April. The tree is lit up
after sunset through April 3. (Mainichi)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Jeannie Shiver,
37,
Phoenix City,
Alabama
Alabama math teacher arrested for sex with student
An Algebra teacher at Central High Freshman Academy in
Phenix City is accused of having sex with a student.
Jeannie Shiver, 37, was arrested Wednesday and charged with
school employee engaging in a sex act or deviant sexual
intercourse with a student under the age of 19 years, Phenix
City police stated in a release.
According to Central High Freshman Academy's website, Shiver
is an alum of Central High School and Columbus State
University. It was her ninth year teaching at Central High
Freshman Academy.
Her current employment status wasn't released.
Phenix City police were notified by the Phenix City Board of
Education on March 3 that Shiver was believed to be having
an inappropriate relationship with an underage student.
"It appears the school may have had information as early as
February," Phenix City Police Chief Ray Smith told the
Ledger-Enquirer. "There is information that the employee had
been warned to stay away from the student sometime in
February, but that information was not made known to law
enforcement until March. We're still investigating that part
of it."
The school also apparently issued a warning letter to
Shiver in February, police say.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Amanda
Re: Chain letters
Dear Webby
where is your page, the one you made to send to those
silly chain letter believers? On AOL apparently they still
believe that Microsoft will send them $245 if they forward
that chain letter to 500 people.
Dear Amanda
That page is at
http://webby.com/humor/fert.html
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern
Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles
inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a phone in his car,
so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing
into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for
assistance.
A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location."
"I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish."
The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?"
"I-75, two miles south of Standish."
A longer pause. Then an incredulous voice asked,
"How fast were you going when you hit shore?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Permanent Marker (Sharpie) on a Microfiber Couch
I was with my son when he purchased his microfiber furniture.
The salesman SHOWED us how to remove Sharpie on the sample.
He just used regular rubbing alcohol. He just poured it on
the marks he made and it took it right out.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
My husband and I were browsing in a crafts store when he
noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After
looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, he picked
up a shiny, one-stringed instrument he took to be a mouth harp.
He put it to his lips and, much to the amusement of other
shoppers, twanged a few notes on it.
After watching from a distance, I walked up and whispered
in his ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying
to play a cheese slicer."
___________________________________________________
| wooden ball plays Bach
|
____________________________________________________
Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the
curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many
motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how
enormous it was, they'd leave.
Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out.
"This I've got to see," I thought. They removed the cushions,
turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they
picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off.
____________________________________________________
A priest was vested in his surplice and cassock ready to
proceed at the beginning of the service. His surplice was
very ornate, and he was swinging the incense pot which had
smoke coming from it.
Lance's visiting friend from San Francisco touched the
priest on the shoulder and said, "Darling, I love your dress,
but your purse is on fire!"
____________________________________________________
| The Winners of Smithsonian’s 13th Annual Photo Contest |
Power of puppies
Today on April 5
1242 Russian troops repelled an invasion attempt by the
Teutonic Knights.
1614 American Indian Pocahontas married English colonist
John Rolfe in Virginia.
1806 Isaac Quintard patented the cider mill.
1843 Queen Victoria proclaimed Hong Kong to be a British
crown colony.
1887 Anne Sullivan taught Helen Keller the meaning of the
word "water" as spelled out in the manual alphabet.
1892 Walter H. Coe patented gold leaf in rolls.
1908 The Japanese Army reached the Yalu River as the Russians
retreated.
1923 Firestone Tire and Rubber Company began the first regular
production of balloon tires.
1930 Mahatma Ghandi defied British law by making salt in India.
1941 German commandos secured docks along the Danube River in
preparation for Germany’s invasion of the Balkans.
1951 Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were sentenced to
death for committing espionage for the Soviet Union.
1955 Winston Churchill resigned as British prime minister.
1986 A discotheque in Berlin was bombed by Libyan terrorists.
The U.S. attacked Libya with warplanes in retaliation on
April 15, 1986.
1998 The Akashi Kaikyo Bridge in Japan opened becoming the
largest suspension bridge in the world. It links Shikoku
and Honshu. The bridge cost about $3.8 billion.
1999 Two Libyans suspected of bombing a Pan Am jet in 1988
were handed over so they could be flown to the Netherlands
for trial. 270 people were killed in the bombing.
2004 Near Mexico City's international airport, lightning
struck the jet Mexican President Vicente Fox was on.
2009 North Korea launched the Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket,
prompting an emergency meeting of the United Nations
Security Council.
2016 smiled.
|
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Retrurn W8, W10 to classic look Monday, April 4, 2016, 12:29 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, April 4
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida Man arrested after he was bitten by his
own pit bull while fleeing from officers.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 4, in
1581 Francis Drake completed the circumnavigation of the world.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Never attribute to malice what can be adequately
explained by stupidity.
--- Robert Heinlein
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother
do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her
mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something
wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for while and
then said, "You must have been REALLY wicked to turn ALL of
grandma's hairs white!"
______________________________________________________
A couple decided to take their teenage daughter to a
shopping mall in a nearby town one weekend. As they were
getting ready to go, the girl came downstairs dressed in
short shorts and a spaghetti string top.
An anticipated fight broke out between her and the husband
over her inappropriate attire. In order to keep the peace,
the mother stepped in and reminded her husband that when
they were young she had dressed the same way, it was the
style.
He said, "Yeah! Well if you remember right I had something
to say about that, too!"
"Yes dear," she said, "you did . . . you asked me for my
phone number!"
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Avery Davis,
26,
Riviera Beach,
Florida
Florida Man arrested after he was bitten by his
own pit bull while fleeing from officers.
As Avery Davis ran from Riviera Beach police officers
Monday morning, he released his pit bull and directed the
animal to attack the officers, according to authorities.
However, the dog apparently had other ideas.
Davis’ pit bull bit him in the buttocks and tried to bite
his head before Davis ran and hid in a nearby apartment
complex, according to a police arrest report made public
Tuesday.
The 26-year-old Riviera Beach man eventually was caught in
the 1500 block of West 29th Street. He was arrested on two
counts of aggravated assault on a law-enforcement officer
and one count resisting an officer with violence. He
remained in custody Tuesday at the Palm Beach County Jail.
The scene reportedly unfolded shortly before 8 a.m. Monday.
According to the report, police officers were in the area
investigating a reported burglary in the 2300 block of
Avenue S. Officers observed Davis, who matched the
description of the suspect. He reportedly was carrying hair
care products.
Officers ordered Davis to lay on the ground. He did so
while hugging the dog. Davis reportedly told officers,
“Y’all gonna have to kill us” before getting up and running
away.
An officer fired a stun at Davis, temporarily knocking him
back to the ground. Davis reportedly got up and ran again.
As officers pursued, Davis released the dog from its leash
and yelled, “Kill ’em boy, kill ’em,” while pointing at the
officers, the report said.
Officers later found Davis hiding under an SUV in an
apartment complex on Avenue R. He ran again but was caught
on West 29th Street. Davis was treated at St. Mary’s
Medical Center in West Palm Beach and then released into
police custody.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: David
Re: W7 look and feel for W8
Dear Webby
I was given a computer with Windows 8 on it.
I thought I remembered a program you recommended to give 8
the look of 7. Do I remember that correctly? If so, where
do I find it? At this point do you recommend upgrading to 10?
Thanks
David L
Dear David
To get the Classic look and feel get
Classic Shell
Wait with W10 until about W10.1 or 10.2
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
One day a co-worker told my friend, Stan, that she was
going home early because she didn't feel well. Since Stan
was just getting over something himself, he wished her well
and said he hoped it wasn't something he had given her.
A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has morning
sickness."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Tip: Getting Rid of Smell on Vintage Coats
Take a bunch of newspapaers wad them up and fill the arms
of the coat, get one of those dry cleaning garment bags,
and put the coat with the newspaper inside of it, adding
more newspaper, close it and seal it with tape to make it
air tight. Wait about 3-4 days open it up and remove some
of the newspaper, the newspaper should smell like the
coats. Newspaper absorbs ordors and I have had wonderful
luck with it getting out the vintage smell in clothes. You
may have to take out the newspaper and refill the coat a
couple times but, works wonders.
By shelly [4 Posts, 4 Comments]
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide
what makes him so sexy.
When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns
around to see who's the handsome dude behind him.
But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he
looks down to see if he's unzipped.
___________________________________________________
| Beauty in the Back Yard from TED Talks
|
____________________________________________________
The doorbell rang and the little girl ran to open the door.
In the doorway stood a man with a clipboard. He explained
he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how
many were in the family.
Coming over, drying her hands on her apron, the mother
said, "Let's see. There's me and my husband, and my
children Tracy, Katherine, Amanda, Alfred, Benjamin--"
The census taker interrupted, saying, "I'm not interested
in the names. The numbers will be enough."
The little girl pitched in. "We don't use numbers yet. So
far we haven't run out of names, an my brothers always make
up new ones for me anyway!"
____________________________________________________
"How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife.
"Just fine until I asked the bride if she would obey and
she said, 'Do you think I'm nuts?' and the groom said,
'I do,' and then things really began to happen fast."
____________________________________________________
| Incredible USA Counties Map Made from Over 3,000 Carved Wooden Blocks |
Today on April 4
1541 Ignatius of Loyola became the first superior-general
of the Jesuits.
1581 Francis Drake completed the circumnavigation of the world.
1687 King James II ordered that his declaration of indulgence
be read in church.
1850 The city of Los Angeles was incorporated.
1902 British Financier Cecil Rhodes left $10 million in his
will that would provide scholarships for Americans to
Oxford University in England.
1905 In Kangra, India, an earthquake killed 370,000 people.
1914 The first known serialized moving picture opened in
New York City, NY. It was "The Perils of Pauline".
1917 The U.S. Senate voted 90-6 to enter World War I
on the Allied side.
1918 The Battle of Somme, an offensive by the British
against the German Army ended.
1932 After five years of research, professor C.G. King,
of the University of Pittsburgh, isolated vitamin C.
1945 Hungary was liberated from Nazi occupation.
1945 During World War II, U.S. forces liberated the Nazi
death camp Ohrdruf in Germany.
1949 Twelve nations signed a treaty to create The North
Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).
1967 The U.S. lost its 500th plane over Vietnam.
1967 Johnny Carson quit "The Tonight Show." He returned
three weeks later after getting a raise of $30,000 a week.
1968 Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated at the age of 39.
1969 Dr. Denton Cooley implanted the first temporary artificial heart.
1971 Veterans stadium in Philadelphia, PA, was dedicated this day.
1975 More than 130 people, most of them children, were killed
when a U.S. Air Force transport plane evacuating Vietnamese
orphans crashed just after takeoff from Saigon.
1979 Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, the president of Pakistan, was
executed. He had been convicted of conspiring to murder
a political opponent.
1981 Henry Cisneros became the first Mexican-American elected mayor
of a major U.S. city, which was San Antonio, TX.
1983 At Cape Canaveral, the space shuttle Challenger took off on
its first flight. It was the sixth flight for the shuttle program.
1984 U.S. President Reagan proposed an international ban on
chemical weapons.
1986 Wayne Gretzky set an NHL record with his 213th point of
the season.
1987 The U.S. charged the Soviet Union with wiretapping a
U.S. Embassy.
1988 Arizona Governor Evan Mecham was voted out of office by
the Arizona Senate. Mecham was found guilty of diverting
state funds to his auto business and of trying to impede
an investigation into a death threat to a grand jury witness.
1991 Pennsylvanian Senator John Heinz and six others were
killed when a helicopter collided with Heinz's plane over
a schoolyard in Merion, PA.
1994 Netscape Communications (Mosaic Communications) was founded.
1995 U.S. Senator Alfonse D'Amato ridiculed judge Lance Ito
using a mock Japanese accent on a nationally syndicated radio
program. D'Amato apologized two days later for the act.
2016 smiled.
|
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Email program for older machines Sunday, April 3, 2016, 07:25 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 3
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas mother arrested after she got drunk,
let sex offender tattoo her three kids
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 3, in
1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Love many, hate few,
learn to paddle your own canoe.
--- Socratex
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Little Suzie ran into the house, crying as though her
heart would break. "What's wrong, dear?" asked her
mother.
"My doll! Johnny broke it!" she sobbed.
"How did he break it, Suzie?"
"I hit him over the head with it."
______________________________________________________
https://www.facebook.com/upliftingdaily2/videos/965550283521578/
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of
caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the
expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the
refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a
single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't
you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her
20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Ashley Nikole Weir
31,
Lago Vista,
Texas
Texas mother arrested after she got drunk,
let sex offender tattoo her three kids
A Central Texas mother got drunk and allowed a sex
offender to tattoo her three underage children, according
to police.
Ashley Nikole Weir, 31, was arrested Monday in Lago Vista
and charged on three counts of tattoos prohibited for
certain persons, a Class A misdemeanor.
If convicted, Weir could spend up to three years in
prison.
The father of the three children told Lago Vista police
that his 13-year-old son called and asked him to pick
them up from Weir's house, according to an arrest
affidavit.
The son told the father that "they had a surprise for him
and that he might not like it," the affidavit said.
Weir was "passed out drunk" in bed when the father
arrived, the father told police. The three children were
unsupervised.
All three had fresh tattoos on their ankles: the 13-year-
old son had a tattoo of a cross on his right ankle, the
10-year-old daughter had a cross and infinity symbol on
her left ankle and the 9-year-old daughter had a heart-
and-arrow design on her right ankle, according to police.
The 13-year-old told police that Weir wanted the children
to get tattoos when they arrived at their mother's house,
the affidavit reads.
Two men were there at the time: Weir's boyfriend and his
brother — who is a sex offender, according to the Texas
Department of Public Safety's sex offender registry.
The children told police that Weir told them to get the
tattoos "but not to cry or whine about it when it hurts,"
according to the affidavit.
Weir's boyfriend's brother tattooed the three children,
the children told police.
The father asked police to conduct a welfare check on
Weir, according to the affidavit.
Police said Weir smelled of alcohol and that she
"wobbled, swayed and was unsure on her feet while
walking."
Weir told police that she allowed the children to get
tattoos but wouldn't say who actually performed the act
of tattooing the children.
The 31-year-old woman said she, her boyfriend and her
boyfriend's brother were the only adults in the home at
the time.
Weir also knew the design of each tattoo, according to
the affidavit.
Weir is currently being held in Travis County Jail on a
$15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Harold
Re: Email program for older machines
Dear Webby
I used to think it was so cute that our kids were already
using email at six and seven, that I forgot to delete
Outlook Express. Considering that 99.9% of all viruses
are written to take advantage of some of Outlook's
"features" to break in and do their dirty deed, it should
actually have been quite predictable that either "Not Me!"
or "Me Neither!" would click on something dangerous.
Now "Not Me" and "Me Neither" are banished to two
older machines that I set up for them. Do you know of
an email program that will work with older versions of
Windows?
Thanks
Harold K
Dear Harold
Try Pegasus.
They have one version that not only works in all older
versions of Windows, but even works in DOS.
Pegasus has had mail filtering for a twenty years now
and has such niceties as mail merge, multiple identities
with separate address books, expandng nicknames, etc.
And it is still free. You can download it from
http://www.pmail.com/
Pegasus has been around since 1990 and has always been free.
They will still click on interesting looking links, but if
you put McAfee and Malwarebytes onto the machines, they should
eliminate most malware.
Both of those services are good for three machines anyway.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Linda: What's that you're reading?
Judie: A diary.
Linda: What's in it?
Judie: I can't tell you that. A diary is a highly personal and
confidential affair; It has important secret dreams and secret
yearnings. It's private. It's not meant to be shared lightly
with other people.
And besides, this diary belongs to Margaret.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Tip: Stain Wood With Shoe Polish
If you have small pieces of unfinished wood that you would
like stained, use liquid shoe polish. The applicator on the
top helps keep your hands clean.
By Diane
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to
thinking about things.
"Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?"
he asked his mother.
"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself
for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.
Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and said,
"I'm glad you don't do any thinking. You would look silly
without long hair."
___________________________________________________
| little boy playing with his shadow |
____________________________________________________
The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost.
They are added to the age of the women that she talks about.
____________________________________________________
From Georgina
I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our kids
to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband
ordered a bottle of wine with the meal.
When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet
as she began the ritual uncorking. When she poured a
small amount for my husband to taste, our six-year-old
piped up, "Let Mom try it. Mom can drink a lot more than
that!"
____________________________________________________
| A cross between a terrarium and indoor ‘grow light’.
|
Today on April 3
1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill.
1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and
Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days.
The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half.
1865 Union forces occupy Confederate capital of Richmond, VA.
1866 Rudolph Eickemeyer and G. Osterheld patented a blocking
and shaping machine for hats.
1882 The American outlaw Jesse James was shot in the back
and killed by Robert Ford for a $5,000 reward. There was
later controversy over whether it was actually Jesse James
that had been killed.
1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North
America was climbed.
1942 The Japanese began their all-out assault on the U.S. and
Filipino troops at Bataan.
1946 Lt. General Masaharu Homma, the Japanese commander
responsible for the Bataan Death March, was executed.
1948 U.S. President Harry Truman signed the Marshall Plan to
revive war-torn Europe. It was $5 billion in aid for 16
countries.
1967 The U.S. State Department said that Hanoi might be
brainwashing American prisoners.
1972 Charlie Chaplin returned to the U.S. after a 20 year absence.
1983 It was reported that Vietnamese occupation forces had
overrun a key insurgent base in western Cambodia.
1985 The U.S. charged that Israel violated the Geneva Convention
by deporting Shiite prisoners.
1986 The U.S. national debt hit $2 trillion.
1987 Riots disrupted mass during the Pope's visit to
Santiago, Chili.
1996 An Air Force jetliner carrying Commerce Secretary Ron
Brown crashed in Croatia, killing all 35 people aboard.
1996 Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski was arrested. He
pled guilty in January 1998 to five Unabomber attacks in
exchange for a life sentence without chance for parole.
2016 smiled.
|
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How does BMP fit in the world of GIF, JPG. PNG, PSP, PSD? Saturday, April 2, 2016, 10:02 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, April 2
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alabama
teacher couple, both arrested for sex with students
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 2, in
1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish fleet was
destroyed by the British at the Battle of Copenhagen.
The Danes were pro-democracy and Britain was against it.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of
ignorance is just as bad.
--- Bob Edwards
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Roland
Sally was puzzled recently by the odd messages she kept
getting on her voice mail. Day after day, all she'd hear,
from friends, family, and customers alike, would be their
message and then they'd ALL say, "BEEP."
We were talking about something else at the moment but
I had her check her voice mail message anyway to see if
there was a clue. She discovered the solution to the
BEEP riddle when she dialed her own phone number.
Her message said, "I'm not available right now, so
please leave a beep after the message."
______________________________________________________
These two ol' boys from Beaumont bought a new mule, but had
trouble getting him in their barn. Every time they would
get him to the door, his ears would brush the top of the
doorway and he'd start kicking and go wild. Finally, they
decide the best way to solve the problem is to jack up the
barn. So, they go out and get a half dozen jacks.
The two Texians are scrambling from jack to jack to try
to get the barn raised when this Cajun walks up. "Wot chall
doin?" Boudreaux asks.
"We's raisin thuh barn, yuh stoopid Cajun," Billy Bob says.
"Why you do dat?"
"Cause thuh mule's ears keep touchin' thuh doorway when we
try to put him in iss-here barn and he goes haf-crazy wild,"
Billy Bob says. "He kicked Ernest Wayne plumb in thuh haid
twicet already."
"Why come you don' just dig a four inch lower in de doorway?
Dat way him got to go down when he get to de do' an him ear
don't touch nutin."
"Ya stoopid Cajun," Ernest Wayne chimes in. "It's his ears
at's too long, not his laigs!"
______________________________________________________
Amazonian Royal Flycatcher from FB
Visit The world of birds
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Jamie Franklin Parker
Charli Parker
Alabama
Alabama teacher couple, both arrested for
sex with students
Jamie Franklin Parker and his wife Charli seem like any young
private school teachers at Pickens Academy.
Both Jamie and Charli coached the Alabama school’s sports
teams and served as teachers, sculpting their young minds
and pushing them towards a bright future.
Like millions of others, they fell in love in college and got
married in 2010. Not long after that they brought a baby boy
into the world.
But there was something much darker that this cheerful couple
was hiding from their peers.
The students and faculty at Pickens Academy were in for a
shock when the two were arrested, just two days apart, for an
all-too-common crime these days.
According to AL.com, Charli was arrested Monday on the charges
of engaging in a sex act with a student under the age of 19.
Just two days later, Jamie would be arrested for the same crime.
Charli had sex with a male student, while Jamie’s relationship
was with a female who used to attend the school. While these
instances are similar, the couple’s crimes were not related.
According to WVTM all of the acts took place away from school
grounds. Due to the crimes status as a Class B Felony, both
teachers could potentially serve a prison sentence of two to
20 years.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Doug
Re: How does BMP fit in the world of GIF, JPG. PNG, PSP, PSD
Dear Webby
How does BMP fit in the world of GIF, JPG. PNG, PSP, PSD?
Doug
Dear Doug
BMP, the old Microsoft DOS Bit-Map-Picture format is still
used a bit for desktop backgrounds and start-up logo
screens, and icons. You can paint icons 64 x 64 or 32 x 32,
save them as a .BMP file, close the file, and rename it
to a .ico file, and it will be a regular icon that you
can assign to any program or shortcut.
Other than that and start-up logos, .BMP is not used
anymore now.
Web browsers can read GIF and JPG and PNG. That's it.
PNG, PSP and PSD are used for work in progress, which
is then saved as JPG before uploading to a web site.
PNG is also used for archiving, because it does not
degrade pictures like JPG does.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
A State Police Officer exited the freeway near one of those
chicken restaurants and noticed that a customer had left a
bucket of chicken on top of his car and was driving out of the
parking lot. The officer decided to pull him over and perform
a community service by giving the driver his chicken. So, he
pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off
the roof and offered it to the driver.
The driver said, "No thanks, I just bought some."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Tip: Stain Wood With Shoe Polish
If you have small pieces of unfinished wood that you would
like stained, use liquid shoe polish. The applicator on the
top helps keep your hands clean.
By Diane
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
How does Janice like being pregnant?" Bob asked his friend
John.
"Oh, she's not pregnant," John replied, "she's expecting."
"What's the difference?" Bob pressed.
"Well, John explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner,
she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me
to rub her feet, she's expecting me to do anything and
everything but wipe her nose."
___________________________________________________
| Amish move house by hand |
____________________________________________________
One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son noticed that his
mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?"
In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a
Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a
moment.
Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"
I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple
explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," I said, "at
a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic
bowls to each other."
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.
Then he burst into laughter.
"Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"
____________________________________________________
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance:
leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed
their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he
doesn't seem very nice."
"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice,
why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
____________________________________________________
| 25 mind bending photos. I like the model city
built out of toothpicks that took 36 years to build.
|
Today on April 2
1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon sighted Florida.
1801 During the Napoleonic Wars, the Danish fleet was
destroyed by the British at the Battle of Copenhagen.
The Danes were pro-democracy and Britain was against it.
1872 G.B. Brayton received a patent for the gas-powered
streetcar.
1889 Charles Hall patented aluminum.
1905 The Simplon rail tunnel officially opened. The tunnel
went under the Alps and linked Switzerland and Italy.
1910 Karl Harris perfected the process for the artificial
synthesis of rubber.
1917 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson presented a declaration
of war against Germany to the U.S. Congress.
1935 Sir Watson-Watt was granted a patent for RADAR. It had
been shown in Germany two years before, but not patented.
1947 The U.N. Security Council voted to appoint the U.S. as
trustee for former Japanese-held Pacific Islands.
1960 France signed an agreement with Madagascar that proclaimed
the country an independent state within the French community.
1963 Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King began the first
campaign in Birmingham, AL.
1966 South Vietnamese troops joined in demonstrations at Hue and
Da Nang for an end to military rule.
1967 In Peking, hundreds of thousands demonstrated against Mao
foe Liu Shao-chi.
1972 Burt Reynolds appeared nude in "Cosmopolitan" magazine.
1982 Argentina invaded the British-owned Falkland Islands. The
following June Britain took the islands back.
1984 In Jerusalem, three Arab gunmen wounded 48 people when they
opened fire into a crowd of shoppers.
1986 On a TWA airliner flying from Rome to Athens a bomb exploded
under a seat killing four Americans.
1989 General Prosper Avril, Haiti's military leader, survived a
coup attempt. The attempt was apparently provoked by Avril's
U.S.-backed efforts to fight drug trafficking.
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein threatened to incinerate half
of Israel with chemical weapons if Israel joined a conspiracy
against Iraq.
1992 Mob boss John Gotti was convicted in New York of murder and
racketeering. He was later sentenced to life in prison.
1996 Russia and Belarus signed a treaty that created a political
and economic alliance in an effort to reunite the two former
Soviet republics.
1996 Lech Walesa resumed his old job as an electrician at the
Gdansk shipyard. He was the former Solidarity union leader who
became Poland's first post-war democratic president.
2002 Israeli troops surrounded the Church of the Nativity. More
than 200 Palestinians had taken refuge at the church when Israel
invaded Bethlehem.
2016 smiled.
|
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| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 190 )
Friday, April 1, 2016, 10:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 1
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Tulsa, OK stripper and friends arrested for
kidnapping and robbing an invited visitor.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 1, in
1578 William Harvey of England discovered blood circulation.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
--- A. H. Weiler (1909 - 2002)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
"Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going
to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?"
Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say."
Well then, I'm going to milk the parrot!"
______________________________________________________
Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would preach
on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the
scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time.
A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the
placement of the story in the Bible. They slipped into the
church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together.
The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text.
"Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was"
- he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits long,
fifty cubits wide and thirty cubits high."
He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read
it silently, and turned the page again.
Then he looked up at his congregation and said, "I've been
reading this old Bible for near fifty years, but there are some
things in it that still amaze me."
______________________________________________________
Slovenia
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Bobby Willhite, 24,
Anastasia Pitts, 19,
Chang Saulsberry,33,
Tulsa,
Oklahoma
Tulsa, OK stripper and friends arrested for
kidnapping and robbing an invited visitor.
According to Tulsa Police, a man who went to meet a stripper
at her house was attacked and kidnapped by two men and the
woman.
As the victim walked into the stripper's residence Saturday
night, two men jumped him, tied him up, pulled his shirt
over his head and started to beat him. Then after he was
robbed, they threw him into the trunk of his own car, where
the suspects drove around for an hour, according to the victim.
Once the vehicle came to a stop and the victim heard the
suspects leave the vehicle, he kicked the seats in the back
of the car open, and was able to escape before they returned.
When the victim got out of the vehicle, he noticed he was
in Catoosa in the Hard Rock Casino parking lot. He
immediately told casino security what had happened and they
contacted Catoosa Police.
All three suspects, a white male, a white female and a
black male, were arrested at the casino by Catoosa Police.
Tulsa Police were called in to work the scene where the
kidnapping took place in Tulsa.
19-year-old Anastasia Pitts, 24-year-old Bobby Willhite
and 33-year-old Chang Saulsberry were all arrested Sunday,
March 27 on robbery, kidnapping and stolen vehicle charges.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Nancy
Re: How to get rid of B SOB
Dear Webby
My prob is one that only a genius like you can solve.
A very LOUD page opens with dire warnings and never shuts
off. It reads BSOB D11 register server fail. And a
Microsoft phone number that will ask for money to fix it.
Restarting does not help, it is always there.
How can I get rid of it for good?
Thank you sir.
Nancy M.
Dear Nancy
"Bad SOB" is Ransom Ware and really bad shit.
You need to download and install MalwareBytes
and
Adwarecleaner
Be careful to download those ONLY from those safe links,
and not from Cnet or other dubious sources, that may trick
you into getting crappy "payloads" added.
Then, after you have downloaded and installed those,
here are the instructions:
Remove BSOD
They are too long to print here, but very nicely presented
step by step on that page.
Print them out, so that you can follow them even when you
have your browser closed.
Your machine got infected when you downloaded something
without carefully watching and also downloaded the B SOB.
It's not really difficult to remove the "Bad SOB",
just tedious.
Don't do it when you are in a hurry. Depending on the speed
of your computer and your connection, it may take you half
an hour to an hour to clean up.
Good Luck!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
When my aunt's son was 3, he wanted a cuss word that he
could use without getting yelled at. To appease the kid she
told him that he could say, "Dag nabbit."
Well, the problem was that next time his toy crane fell over
it sounded like: "Damn Wabbit !!"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Best Ever Split Pea Soup
By Abigail A. [17 Posts, 1,124 Comments]
Best Ever Split Pea Soup
By Abigail A. [17 Posts, 1,124 Comments]
This is the best and most frugal split pea soup recipe I
know how to make. You can use yellow or green split peas.
Approximate Time: overnight
Ingredients:
6 cups water
2 cups dry split peas, green or yellow
1 smoked ham hock
2 Tbsp fat
2 Tbsp flour
4 cups milk
salt and pepper
Steps:
Put water, split peas and ham hock in a crock pot. Cook on
low until peas are very mushy, and the ham falls off the
bone.
Remove ham hock. Cut up ham meat and discard bone.
Place fat and flour in a pot on the stove. Heat until foamy.
Add milk and scald. Add ham meat and cooked peas. Mix well.
Season with salt and black pepper.
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Little Sally went to the store with her grandmother.
On the way home, she looked through her bags to see
what gramma had purchased.
In one package, Little Sally found some panty hose
and she began to sound out the words "Queen Size."
She then turned to her grandmother and exclaimed,
"Wow Gramma, you're as big as Mom's bed!"
___________________________________________________
| Amish move house by hand |
____________________________________________________
A young and arrogant pilot wanted to "show off" on the
aviation frequencies as he was approaching an airfield
during the night. So, he disregarded policy and, instead
of making an official request to the tower, he said,
"Guess who?"
The air traffic controller switched the field lights off
and replied, "Guess where?"
____________________________________________________
Sue: "I like cats, do you?"
Bob: "Yes, I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes."
____________________________________________________
| 10 Astonishing Wood Sculptures
|
Today on April 1
0527 Justinianus became the emperor of Byzantium.
1572 The Sea Beggars under Guillaume de la Marck landed
in Holland and captured the small town of Briel.
1578 William Harvey of England discovered blood circulation.
1621 The Plymouth, MA, colonists created the first treaty
with Native Americans.
1748 The ruins of Pompeii were found.
1778 Oliver Pollock, a New Orleans businessman, created
the "$" symbol.
1793 In Japan, the volcano Unsen erupted killing about 53,000.
1853 Cincinnati became the first U.S. city to pay fire fighters
a regular salary.
1873 The British White Star steamship Atlantic sank off
Nova Scotia killing 547.
1881 Anti-Jewish riots took place in Jerusalem.
1889 The first dishwashing machine was marketed (in Chicago).
1905 The British East African Protectorate became the
colony of Kenya.
1924 Adolf Hitler was sentenced to five years in prison
for high treason in relation to the "Beer Hall Putsch."
1927 The first automatic record changer was introduced by
His Master's Voice.
1928 China's Chiang Kai-shek began attacking communists.
1929 Louie Marx introduced the Yo-Yo.
1931 An Earthquake devastated Managua Nicaragua killing 2,000.
1933 Nazi Germany began the persecution of Jews by boycotting
Jewish businesses.
1937 Aden became a British colony.
1938 The first commercially successful fluorescent lamps
were introduced.
1939 The U.S. recognized the Franco government in Spain at
end of Spanish civil war.
1945 U.S. forces invaded Okinawa during World War II. It was
the last campaign of World War II.
1948 The Berlin Airlift began.
1950 Italian Somalia became a United Nations trust territory
under Italian administration.
1952 The Big Bang theory was proposed in "Physical Review"
by Alpher, Bethe & Gamow.
1960 France exploded 2 atom bombs in the Sahara Desert.
1960 The U.S. launched TIROS-1, the first weather satellite.
1971 The United Kingdom lifted all restrictions on gold ownership.
1972 North Vietnamese and Viet Cong troops renewed their
offensive in South Vietnam.
1973 Japan allowed its citizens to own gold.
1976 Apple Computer began operations.
1979 Iran was proclaimed to be an Islamic Republic by
Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini after the fall of the Shah.
1982 The U.S. transferred the Canal Zone to Panama.
1985 World oil prices dropped below $10 a barrel.
1986 The U.S. submarine Nathaniel Green ran aground
in the Irish Sea.
1987 Steve Newman became the first man to walk around the
world. The walk was 22,000 miles and took 4 years.
1991 The Warsaw Pact was officially dissolved.
1998 A federal judge dismissed the Paula Jones' sexual
harassment lawsuit against U.S. President Clinton saying
that the claims fell "far short" of being worthy of a trial.
1999 In Zhytomyr, Ukraine, Anatoliy Onoprienko was sentenced
to death for the deaths of 52 men, women and children.
43 of the killings occurred in a 6-month period.
1999 The Canadian territory of Nunavut was created. It was
carved from the eastern part of the Northwest Territories
and covered about 772,000 square miles.
2001 China began holding 24 crewmembers of a U.S. surveillance
plane. The EP-3E U.S. Navy crew had made an emergency landing
after an in-flight collision with a Chinese fighter jet. The
Chinese pilot was missing and presumed dead. The U.S. crew
was released on April 11, 2001.
2001 Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic was arrested
on corruption charges after a 26-hour standoff with the police
at his Belgrade villa.
2003 North Korea test-fired an anti-ship missile off its west coast.
2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the Unborn Victims of
Violence Act. The bill made it a crime to harm a fetus during
an assault on a pregnant woman.
2009 Albania and Croatia joined NATO.
2010 The U.S. Congress cut Medicare reimbursements to
physicians by 21%, so half of them moved to Mexico.
2016 smiled.
|
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| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 692 )
Recover spreadsheet files Thursday, March 31, 2016, 08:34 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, March 31
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to
Bumbling Miami bank robbers locked out
after firing warning shots
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 31, in
1492 King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain issued the
Alhambra edict expelling Jews who were unwilling to
convert to Christianity.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A TV can insult your intelligence,
but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
--- Anon
Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible,
and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
--- Saint Francis of Assisi
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Sandie
After attending a community meeting that adjourned at 10 p.m.,
my mother realized she had locked her keys in the car. The
only place open was a bar and grill down the street. When
Mom walked in, the bartender asked her what she'd like.
"I need a coathanger," she replied.
"Lady," he said, "I've made a lot of drinks in my time, but
I've never heard of that one."
______________________________________________________
Confusion is one woman plus one multiple choice left turn;
Excitement is two women plus one secret;
Bedlam is three women plus one bargain;
Chaos is four women plus one lunch check and one coupon.
______________________________________________________
From Jean
Waterfall Island at Iguazu Falls
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Franklin Yamill Cuevas,
32,
Miami,
Floriduh
Bumbling Miami bank robbers locked out
after warning shots
It took a few days, but police finally caught up with a
pair of bumbling would-be bank robbers whose warning shots
outside a Miami bank backfired — giving an employee inside
enough warning to lock the front door.
Unable to get inside, the defeated duo took off, without
any money.
“That’s an astute employee,” Miami Police Detective Kenia
Fallat said. “He took a chance and ran to the door. He did
the right thing.”
A day after last Friday’s attempted heist, one of the men —
who told police he was concerned after seeing bank
surveillance video of himself on television — turned himself
in. On Tuesday, his buddy did the same.
Franklin Yamill Cuevas, 32, was charged with armed robbery
with a deadly weapon and discharging a firearm in public.
His buddy Kevin Alberto Reyes, 25, was charged as an
accessory after the fact. Cuevas remained in jail Wednesday
without bond.
Police say it was just before 6 p.m. March 18 when Reyes
parked his red, four-door Nissan Altima in front of Region’s
Bank at 2800 NW Seventh St. Then, police said, Reyes got out
of the car, walked through its glassed-encased ATM foyer
and opened the bank’s front door to make sure it wasn’t locked.
At the same time, the affidavit says, Cuevas walked outside
the ATM entrance and “pulled out a semi-automatic pistol,
inserted a magazine, cocked the gun, and shot three times
in the air while standing by the door of the bank.”
While firing his weapon, police said, Cuevas screamed,
“This is a robbery, mother...”
It scared the employees and customers enough to dive for
cover, police said. But one worker leaped into quick
action, locking the bank’s front door while Cuevas was
going gangster outside.
Stunned the door wouldn’t open, police said Cuevas
backpedaled and jumped into the Altima while Reyes gunned
the engine and took off.
Reyes would later explain to police that he was out
drinking with Cuevas before they headed to the bank. It
was only after Cuevas got out of the car, Reyes said, that
he heard the gunshots.
Police said Reyes told them he was unaware Cuevas had a
weapon. “But he did drive off with him after,” an officer
wrote in Reyes’ arrest affidavit.
Reyes also didn’t attempt to contact police until he saw
his picture on television.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Donna
Re: Spreadsheet recovery
Dear Webby
I love Open Office....it crashed with a spread sheet open
the other day...and although it can recover it, it has to
"recover" it every time I try and open it.
It's always the same, regardless of what spreadsheet I try
and open -- the first time the recovery fails, the second
time it is successful. I even upgraded to the newest version
of Open Office this morning thinking maybe Open Office was
corrupt, but the problem persists. A friend opening the same
spreadsheet (shared in a group) doesn't get the message.
Any ideas, oh great computer guru friend of mine?
Donna
Dear Donna
Save it under a new name.
Excel does the same.
Just save it under a new name, and then later save it back
with the old name. That usually fixes that common
spreadsheet bug.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
The most common form of marriage proposal:
"YOU'RE WHAT!?"
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep a Medication List
By Carol Swanson [37 Posts, 242 Comments]
At the suggestion of my allergist, I keep an updated list of
my medications in my handbag. She tells me that if you are
taken to the hospital, it is very difficult to reconstruct
a list of medicines for the patient. One never knows if they
will be in an auto accident or suffer a stroke or other
episode and not be able to speak for themselves.
I keep my list on my computer so it is easy to update and to
print out, but handwritten is good too. I also list non
prescription items my doctors want me to have.
Men can make a list to keep in their wallet. That way every
time you leave your house you will have it with you.
Source: My physician
Don't forget your home!
EMTs are trained to expect to see that list on your fridge.
That way they instantly know about heart or diabetes or
allergy conditions, instead of having to guess why you are
on the floor making weird gestures.
It doesn't have to be a big print, a post-it note size is
enough. That can save your life.
A month after my heart failure a few years ago friend once
called the EMTs on me, when I didn't respond to her Skype
messages because I was busy mopping the floors. They came
storming in like a SWAT team, and ran to the fridge to look
for my medication list. Luckily I do have one pinned up with
a fridge magnet.
Once they saw me mopping the floor they relaxed, but they
pointed to the list and said they wished everybody had one
pinned up on the fridge.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Delivering his speech at the opening banquet of a national
convention, the visiting minister told several anecdotes he
expected to repeat at meetings the next day.
Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested
that the reporters omit them from any accounts they might
turn in to their newspapers.
A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece
with the following:
"The minister told a number of stories that cannot be printed
here."
___________________________________________________
| baby elephant tries to figure out his trunk |
____________________________________________________
>From Karla
I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative
phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising
effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated."
Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change
my mind and volunteer.
I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what
that means?"
She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?"
--------------
Reminds me of the time I told a telemarketer that the reason
I was not interested in her long distance scam was because
I didn't have a phone.
She apologized for calling.
____________________________________________________
Q: What is the most dangerous part of a car?
A: The nut that holds the steering wheel.
____________________________________________________
| Beautiful Britain.
|
Today on March 31
1492 King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella of Spain issued the
Alhambra edict expelling Jews who were unwilling to
convert to Christianity.
1776 Abigail Adams wrote to her husband John that women
were "determined to foment a rebellion" if the new
Declaration of Independence failed to guarantee their rights.
1779 Russia and Turkey signed a treaty concerning military
action in Crimea.
1854 The U.S. government signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with
Japan. The act opened the ports of Shimoda and Hakotade to
American trade.
1880 Wabash, IN, became the first town to be completely
illuminated with electric light.
1889 In Paris, the Eiffel Tower officially opened.
1900 In France, the National Assembly passed a law reducing the
workday for women and children to 11 hours.
1904 In India, hundreds of Tibetans were slaughtered by the British.
1905 Kaiser Wilhelm arrived in Tangier proclaiming to support for
an independent state of Morocco.
1908 250,000 coal miners in Indianapolis, IN, went on strike to
await a wage adjustment.
1909 Serbia accepted Austrian control over Bosnia-Herzegovina.
1917 The U.S. purchased and took possession of the Virgin Islands
from Denmark for $25 million.
1921 Great Britain declared a state of emergency because of the
thousands of coal miners on strike.
1932 The Ford Motor Co. debuted its V-8 engine.
1933 The U.S. Congress authorized the Civilian Conservation Corps
to relieve rampant unemployment.
1939 Britain and France agreed to support Poland if Germany
threatened invasion.
1941 Germany began a counter offensive in North Africa.
1946 Monarchists won the elections in Greece.
1948 The Soviets in Germany began controlling the Western
trains headed toward Berlin.
1949 Winston Churchill declared that the A-bomb was the only
thing that kept the U.S.S.R. from taking over Europe.
1949 Newfoundland entered the Canadian confederation as its
10th province.
1966 An estimated 200,000 anti-war demonstrators march in
New York City. (New York)
1966 The Soviet Union launched Luna 10, which became the first
spacecraft to enter a lunar orbit.
1980 U.S. President Carter deregulated the banking industry.
1986 167 people died when a Mexicana Airlines Boeing 727 crashed
in Los Angeles.
1989 Canada and France signed a fishing rights pact.
1991 Iraqi forces recaptured the northern city of Kirkuk from
Kurdish guerillas.
2004 Air America Radio launched five stations around the U.S.
2004 Google Inc. announced that it would be introducing a
free e-mail service called Gmail.
2016 smiled.
|
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Wednesday, March 30, 2016, 10:36 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, March 30
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas woman arested after she brings her drugs to police
to get them tested for Ebola
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 30, in
1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched
into Paris. They did not like his ideas of democracy.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome;
if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent;
if you believe the military, nothing is safe.
--- Lord Salisbury
Never exaggerate your faults.
Your friends will attend to that.
--- Sir Francis Bacon
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Jean
The Irish are a wonderful bunch of people, always willing to
help in a pinch .....
Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Air Atlantic
flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant
nervously made the following painful announcement in her
lovely Irish brogue:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that
there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service.
I don't know how this has happened, but we have 120 passen-
gers on board and unfortunately, we received only 100 dinner
meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.
When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she
continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal
so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited
drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight "
Her next announcement came about 3-1/2 hours later:
"If anyone is hungry, we still have 100 dinners available".
______________________________________________________
There were 3 sisters on a train and they had been talking for
some time when they decided to pass the time by telling
each other what their greatest sins where.
The first sister got up and said, "My greatest sin is sex.
Every year I go out for a week and become a prostitute.
Of course I put all the money I earn in the poor box, but that
is my greatest sin."
The second sister got up and said, "My greatest sin is
drinking. Every year take the money out of the poor box
and drink for one week straight."
The third sister was sitting there being very quite. The
others told her: "come on now, we told you our worst sins,
what is yours?"
The third sister got up and said, "Well, I don't really have
any great sins, but I do gossip a bit now and then."
______________________________________________________
Smog Hills, Sausalito
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Miranda Johns,
21,
Naples,
Floriduh
Texas woman arested after she brings her drugs to
police to get them tested for Ebola
A Texas police department posted a fake news alert on
Facebook warning of drugs contaminated with Ebola, and,
incredibly, one woman actually showed up for the
“screening” and was promptly arrested.
“This morning, we had our first concerned citizen notify
the Granite Shoals Police Department that they believed
their methamphetamine may be tainted. Our officers
gladly took the item for further testing,” the
department posted on its official Facebook page with the
hashtag #notkidding.
Police also posted the booking photo of a smiling
Chasity Eugina Hopson, who now faces drug-related
charges.
Hopson was the first to respond to this “breaking news”
alert.
I looked all over to see if this was a hoax, but all the
news services reported it as a true story.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Caralee
Re: Sort and weed out files
Dear Webby
... Now for my question, is there a Pro tip for sorting out
files, that is less cumbersome than dragging them to different
drives and directories?
Thanks
Caralee
Dear Caralee
First get "Search Everything" from my toolbox at
http://webby.com/tools
forget the Windows search, it is too slow and might crash
your machine.
Make desktop shortcuts to MID, MP3, MP4, etc., not too far
from the Recycle bin.
Then with Search Everything search for *.mid
and set the Search for Audio
The first time you use it, it will be slow, because it
catalogs all your drives. After that it will be lightning
fast.
Then go through the found list. Don't worry, unlike the
Windows search, it won't disappear when you click in it.
SHIFT Drag the keepers into the MID shortcut, and the rest
into the recycle bin.
Then do the same with MP4, and of course pictures and
videos.
There is no program, that will know which ones are keepers,
and which ones are not. Sorting the found bunch by size does
help. Most of the really small stuff is just nuisance anyway.
Just take your time and and wade through them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's
try it again.
Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: NO, SIR!
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Emergency Laundry Detergent Substitutions
If you run out of laundry detergent towards the end of
the month and don't want to spend your last $'s, regular
dish liquid will work great. I use 3 big squirts for a
normal size load to get clean clothes with no foaming.
By Margaret
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
Here is an oldie-goldie that came back via the Folks from Erie:
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York
City building.
A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of
Expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says
arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator,
and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying,
"Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination
and is about to get off the elevator.
Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye,
then bends over and trumpets a fart like the finale of an opera.
Just before the elevator doors close behind her, she turns and
whispers into the eyewatering fumes:
"Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
___________________________________________________
| daddy-daughter song The fireworks show had just ended, but she thought she kept hearing them outside. So we sang to keep her mind preoccupied. In the end, nothing competes with fireworks. |
____________________________________________________
Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something
'practical' for her birthday.
"Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested.
Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account, Cathy," mother said as they arrived at the bank,
"so you fill out the application."
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for
'Name of your former bank.' After a slight hesitation, she put down
'Piggy.'
____________________________________________________
I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university.
Our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library
and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that
the professors were the best in the country, and she re-
commended my daughter apply early to improve her chances
for admission. "We get so many applicants," she boasted,
"because of the stature of the school."
After the tour I asked our guide, "So, why did you choose
this school?"
"Oh," she replied matter-of-factly, "my boyfriend graduated
here and works at the McDonalds across the street, and he
has a car."
____________________________________________________
| People are AWESOME, best of the month for March 2016.
|
Today on March 30
1533 Henry VIII divorced his first wife, Catherine of Aragon.
1814 The allied European nations against Napoleon marched
into Paris. They did not like his ideas of democracy.
1822 Florida became a U.S. territory.
1842 Dr. Crawford W. Long performed the first operation
while his patient was anesthetized by ether.
1855 About 5,000 "Border Ruffians" from western Missouri
invaded the territory of Kansas and forced the election of
a pro-slavery legislature. It was the first election in Kansas.
1858 Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia patented the pencil.
1867 The U.S. purchased Alaska from Russia for $7.2 million.
1909 The Queensboro bridge in New York opened linking Manhattan
and Queens. It was the first double decker bridge.
1909 In Oklahoma, Seminole Indians revolted against meager pay
for government jobs.
1916 Pancho Villa killed 172 at the Guerrero garrison in Mexico.
1936 Britain announced a naval construction program of 38 warships.
1940 The Japanese set up a puppet government called Manchuko in
Nanking, China.
1941 The German Afrika Korps under General Erwin Rommel began its
first offensive against British forces in Libya.
1944 The U.S. fleet attacked Palau, near the Philippines.
1945 The U.S.S.R. invaded Austria after World War II.
1946 The Allies seized 1,000 Nazis attempting to revive
the Nazi party in Frankfurt.
1950 The invention of the phototransistor was announced.
1950 U.S. President Truman denounced Senator Joe McCarthy as
a saboteur of U.S. foreign policy.
1964 John Glenn withdrew from the Ohio race for U.S. Senate
because of injuries suffered in a fall.
1972 The British government assumed direct rule over
Northern Ireland.
1972 The Eastertide Offensive began when North Vietnamese
troops crossed into the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) in the
northern portion of South Vietnam.
1975 As the North Vietnamese forces moved toward Saigon South
Vietnamese soldiers mob rescue jets in desperation.
1981 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded in
Washington, DC, by John W. Hinckley Jr. Two police officers
and Press Secretary James Brady were also wounded.
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Sunflowers" was bought for $39.85 million.
1993 In Sarajevo, two Serb militiamen were sentenced to death for
war crimes committed in Bosnia.
1993 In the Peanuts comic strip, Charlie Brown hit his first
home run.
1994 Serbs and Croats signed a cease-fire to end their war in
Croatia while Bosnian Muslims and Serbs continued to fight each other.
1998 Rolls-Royce was purchased by BMW in a $570 million deal.
2002 An unmanned U.S. spy plane crashed at sea in the Southern
Philippines.
2002 Islamic militants set off several grenades at a temple in
Indian-controlled Kashmir. Four civilians, four policemen and
two attackers were killed and 20 people were injured.
2016 smiled.
|
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Tuesday, March 29, 2016, 10:57 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, March 29
Have FUN!
DearWebby
With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets! |
SPECIAL EASTER EGG from McAfee
McAefee Total Protection $29.99
March 25 - 28
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
| |
| |
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman charged after she recorded herself
having sex with two dogs
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, March 29, in
1974 Mariner 10, the U.S. space probe became the first
spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. It had been launched
on November 3, 1973.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
"According to a new study, children that snore get
lower grades...especially if they're snoring in class."
--- Jay Leno
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
--- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne opened
a letter from home and found a $10 bill inside.
As she read the letter, she caught sight of a shabbily
dressed stranger leaning against a lamppost below.
Quickly she wrote, "Don't despair, Sister Anne" on a piece
of paper, wrapped the $10 in it and dropped it out the window.
The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled expression
and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day
Sister Anne was told that a man was at the door,
insisting on seeing her.
She went down and found the stranger waiting.
Without a word, he handed her a roll of bills.
"What's this?" she asked. "That's the 60 bucks you
have coming.
'Don't Despair' paid five to one."
______________________________________________________
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had
died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to
get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife
to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into
our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use
it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to
her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it
needed to be pushed at least 30mph for it to start.
She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.
I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.
A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror
coming at me at about 50 mph, I realized that I should have
been a bit clearer with my directions.
______________________________________________________
Rainbow Clouds in Scotland
______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes! 
Miranda Johns,
21,
Naples,
Floriduh
Florida woman charged after she recorded herself
having sex with two dogs
A Florida woman was charged Monday with engaging in sexual
conduct with animals.
Collier County Sheriff’s Office deputies say Miranda Johns,
21, of Naples, recorded herself while she had sex with her two
dogs, NBC affiliate WBBH-TV reports.
Johns allegedly sent the videos to her boyfriend, according to
WBBH-TV. The boyfriend later told officials about the footage
during a domestic complaint call.
Investigators allegedly found videos of the sexual encounters
involving Johns’ two dogs and arrested her on three counts of
engaging in sexual conduct with animals,
and plastered her picture and name onto all the Florida news.
______________________________________________________
Tech Support Pits
From: Jeanne
Re: Simple Calendar
Dear Webby
I need a simple calendar program, not to enter stuff into it,
just for looking up what kind of weekday certain dates are.
Thanks
Jeanne
Dear Jeanne
get Windows to show the date in the right hand bottom corner,
if it doesn't already. Just doubleclick the date,
and a calendar pops up.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
Arthur called in a repairman to fix his electric clock.
He examined it and told him, "There's nothing wrong with
the clock. You didn't have it plugged in."
Arthur replied, "I don't want to waste electricity, so I only
plug it in when I want to know what time it is."
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recipe: Banana Bars
By Robin [5,892 Posts, 29 Comments]
Ingredients
1/2 cup margarine
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup mashed bananas
2 eggs
3/4 cup sour cream
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. soda
Frosting:
1 pkg. cream cheese (8oz.)
1/2 cup margarine
1 box powdered sugar (1lb.)
1 tsp. almond extract
Directions
Mix together above ingredients. Bake at 350 degrees F
for 30 minutes or until golden brown.
Frost, when cooled, with cream cheese frosting
For frosting, mix together all ingredients until smooth.
By Robin from Washington, IA
______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe,
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
_____________________________________________________
While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside
restaurant for lunch. The old woman unfortunately left her
glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were
back on the highway.
By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could
find a place to turn around. The old man fussed and
complained all the way back to the restaurant.
When they finally arrived, as the old woman got out of the
car to retrieve her glasses, the old man said,
"While you're in there, you may as well get my hat, too."
___________________________________________________
| the Voca People
|
____________________________________________________
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service,
his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly.
"How did you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up,
like the preacher said:
'Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer.' "
____________________________________________________
The young Ensign approached the crusty old Chief and asked
him about the origin of the commissioned office insignias.
"Well, Ensign, it's history and tradition. First, we give
you a gold bar representing that you're valuable BUT
malleable. The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade
represents value, but less malleable. When you make
Lieutenant, you're twice as valuable so we give you two
silver bars. As a Captain, you soar over military masses,
hence the eagle. As an Admiral, you're obviously a star.
That answer your question?"
"Yes Sir, but what about Commanders and Lieutenant
Commanders?"
"Now that goes waaaaaay back in history. Back to the
Garden of Eden even. You see, we've always covered our
***** with leaves. "
____________________________________________________
| A man turns a single tree stump into a beautiful work of art.
|
Today on March 29
1461 Edward IV secured his claim to the English throne by
defeating Henry VI’s Lancastrians at the battle of Towdon.
1638 First permanent European settlement in Delaware.
1847 U.S. troops under General Winfield Scott took possession
of the Mexican stronghold at Vera Cruz.
1848 Niagara Falls stopped flowing for one day due to an ice jam.
1867 The British Parliament passed the North America Act to
create the Dominion of Canada.
1903 A regular news service began between New York and London
on Marconi's wireless.
1906 In the U.S., 500,000 coal miners walked off the job
seeking higher wages.
1936 Italy firebombed the Ethiopian city of Harar.
1941 The British sank five Italian warships off the
Peloponnesus coast in the Mediterranean.
1943 In the U.S. rationing of meat, butter and cheese
began during World War II.
1951 The Chinese reject MacArthur's offer for a truce in Korea.
1951 In the United States, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were
convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage. They were
executed in June 19, 1953.
1962 Cuba opened the trial of the Bay of Pigs invaders.
1967 France launched its first nuclear submarine.
1971 Lt. William Calley Jr., of the U.S. Army, was found
guilty of the premeditated murder of at least 22 Vietnamese
civilians. He was sentenced to life imprisonment. The trial
was the result of the My Lai massacre in Vietnam in 1968.
1971 A jury in Los Angeles recommended the death penalty for
Charles Manson and three female followers for the 1969
Tate-La Bianca murders. The death sentences were later
commuted to life in prison.
1973 The last U.S. troops left South Vietnam.
1974 Mariner 10, the U.S. space probe became the first
spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. It had been launched
on November 3, 1973.
1974 Eight Ohio National Guardsmen were indicted on charges
stemming from the shooting deaths of four students at Kent
State University on May 4, 1970. All the guardsmen were
later acquitted.
1975 Egyptian president Anwar Sadat declared that he would
reopen the Suez Canal on June 5, 1975.
1979 The Committee on Assassinations Report issued by U.S.
House of Representatives stated the assassination of President
John F. Kennedy was the result of a conspiracy.
1987 Hulk Hogan took 11 minutes, 43 seconds to pin Andre the
Giant in front of 93,136 at Wrestlemania III fans at the
Silverdome in Pontiac, MI.
1992 Democratic presidential front-runner Bill Clinton said
"I didn't inhale and I didn't try it again" in reference to
when he had experimented with marijuana.
1993 The South Korean government agreed to pay financial support
to women who had been forced to have sex with Japanese troops
during World War II.
2004 Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia and
Slovenia became members of NATO.
2016 smiled.
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This one bloomed today.
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Taber
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The roses are actually behind the hedge, but growing up
through the hedge.
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Dubai Gardens
______________________________________________________
MtRainier-Hood-Adams
______________________________________________________
Amarilis
______________________________________________________
From FB
______________________________________________________
Snoqualmie Falls Washington
______________________________________________________
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