Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 28

The fox at the end of the street has 2 young ones this year,
and they were outside the first time today, bouncing around,
chasing bugs and butterflies as if they had not made up their
mind whether they are going to be pups or kittens. I'll take
my camera along on my walk tomorrow evening.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
PA woman, who was arrested after she was found with
counterfeit credit cards, fake IDs and erratically 
driving a $125,000 BMW, that was not hers.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 28, in
1789:A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a 
rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island. 
The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've
noticed 
those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.
--- Bethania McKenstry 

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that
never were; and I say, 'Why not?
--- George Bernard Shaw 
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

==From Jennie
Dear Webby, at one time you had some funny description
of men and women as if they were chemical elements. Do
you still have those and could you run them again?
Please and Thank You
Jenni===


Here they are:


                      "Periodic Elements"
Valuable scientific data. Two proposed new additions to the
periodic table (from Chemistry class)elements:


Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at
nothing
and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly.
Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses
strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious
stones.
Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of
exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a 
shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for
dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income
reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.


Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets
bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any
chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with
itself.
Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child)
for prolonged   period of time.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: Good methane source. Some specimens are able
to produce large quantities especially at inappropriate
times.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly
decomposes and begins to smell.




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A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.
He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish,
but only one - none of that three wishes jazz, OK?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I have always
wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because
I'm afraid of flying, and ships make me claustrophobic and
ill.
So, I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie was taken aback a bit, but after some thought said,
"No, I don't think I can do that; think about the pilings
needed
 to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be
 to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement
 and steal and concrete that would be needed. I'm sorry, you
 will have to choose another wish."

The man thought for a minute and then told the genie,
"There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would
like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh
and cry, why do they get upset at us so easily, what are
their true desires and needs? What do they mean when they say
"Nothing!". Basically what makes them tick?!"

The genie stared at him and blinked a couple times.
"So, do you want two lanes or four?"

______________________________________________________

An older couple regularly attended church. The pastor was
much impressed by how harmonious and how in love they
seemed. They always held hands all through the service.

One day after church, the pastor couldn't resist going up to
them to express his admiration. He said, "I find it so
inspirational to see how deeply in love you are, even, after
all these years, holding hands like that."

The wife looked up sharply and said, "It's not love, Pastor,
I'm just keeping him from cracking his knuckles."

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________

Reported by Bausell Sailor

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Markia Cherise Williams,
19
Willington,
Pennsylvania
PA woman arrested after she was found with
counterfeit credit cards, fake IDs and erratically 
driving a $125,000 BMW, that was not hers.

Connecticut State Police arrested a Pennsylvania woman on
identity theft charges after they stopped a 2016 BMW they
said may have been purchased fraudulently.

Officers arrested Markia Cherise Williams, 19, after police
observed her driving erratically on I-84 in Willington
Sunday, April 24, 2016 around 4 p.m.

When they stopped the BMW X6 M-series, valued at $125,000,
they found counterfeit credit cards and numerous fake IDs
from Connecticut, Rhode Island and Florida, according to
police. Her passenger had no identification.

On paper, the car was purchased in New Jersey a week earlier
by someone who lived in Virginia – but police believe that
person’s identity may have been stolen to finance the luxury
car.

Police reported finding a slew of credit cards, bills and
drivers licenses from several states in her possession. 
Neither the driver nor the passenger could explain how they
ended up in the vehicle or where the registered owner was.

Williams was charged with traveling at an unreasonable
speed, credit card theft (five counts), credit card
counterfeiting (five counts), identity theft (six counts),
and forgery (six counts). The male passenger was not charged
at the time, but police said they were still investigating.

She is held on $15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Donna
RE: Adding a wireless laptop to a wired network
Dear Webby
..here's one for you. 

While I'm pretty well versed with computers in general, as
far as networks and sharing goes, I'm a complete moron.

My MAIN computer is the desktop here, hardwired into the
cable modem.  It has all the files on it I need to maintain.

My new laptop is wireless and in the living room.

Is it possible to set up some"thing" where the laptop can
access the files that are on the desktop and update them
THERE?  Or am I just wishing on a star?

Love,   Donna 


UPDATE ============
As luck would have it, all the research I did, all the help
and instructions you gave me, (the stonecarvers was going to
be my last shot because the button on the modem also controls
my TV wireless and a wifi extender)...the answer turned out
to be RIDICULOUSLY SIMPLE.

While on the phone with Time Warner yesterday with a cable TV
related issue, he asked if he could help with anything else,
and I jokingly mentioned the networking issue (figuring of
course the TV tech support knew nothing of computer issues.) 


He gave me a password from Time Warner, and told me to start
with the LAPTOP, since it was the "alien being" to the modem
instead of starting with the desktop, when creating the Home
Network.

Well, sure enough, I created the Home Network on the Laptop
(which gave me a different password) (and yes, the wi fi
extender and the wi fi have passwords as well), then I came
in HERE to the main computer, the desktop and added IT to the
homegroup created by the "alien" laptop, entered the password
and VOILA!  I even went back to the laptop and successfully
accessed files in HERE which was my main objective.

So that might be something you want to note for Windoze 10
(which I know you just LOVE)....start with the NEW computer,
create the Network, then add the ORIGINAL computer.

Thanks for all your help...I LOVE the stonecarvers work.  

(and as always..hehehe)  

Love,
Donna   

Dear Donna
Thanks for that very valuable information!

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


Associated Press,
New Orleans, LA

Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists have
been operating, or planning to,  in New Orleans. Louisiana
Police advised  earlier today that 3 of the 4 had been
detained.

The Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin
Sleepin,
Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested issues.

The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting
the
description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the
area.

However, police are confident that anyone who looks like
he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cranberry Salsa
By attosa [197 Posts, 474 Comments]

I admit I used to only serve cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving
and Christmas dinner because of the bright colour to add a
little umph to the plate. Now that I make cranberry salsa,
it's all about the amazing sweet, salty, spicy flavour! I get
asked for this recipe ALL the time. I hope you enjoy it, too!
Approximate Time: 25 minutes

Ingredients:
1 pkg (12 oz) fresh or frozen cranberries
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 apple
2 limes
2 Tbsp water
3 green onions
1 jalapeno pepper
1/4 cup chopped cilantro
salt and sugar to taste

Steps:
Empty your cranberries into a saucepan. 
Transfer 1/2 a cup of them to a bowl.
Peel off a couple strips of zest from one of the limes, drop
in with cranberries. Add the sugar and water to the pan and
cook over low heat. Stir occasionally, cooking for about 10
minutes until the sugar melts and the cranberries are soft.
Increase the heat to medium and let the cranberries burst.
This takes about 5 minutes.

While that's cooking down, peel and chop the 1/2 apple and
coarsely chop reserved cranberries. Reduce heat to low and
add to the pot. Stir for 2 minutes.

Turn off heat and add lime juice. Chop your jalapeno and
green onions, add to pot. Season with salt and sugar to
taste. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
Before serving, add chopped cilantro and mix well. Enjoy!


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Stress Test:
If you see two dolphins in this picture, 
then your stress level is OK.

If you see anything else, your stress level is too high and
you need some chocolate.



___________________________________________________

The Raven - James Earl Jones

____________________________________________________

Q: What is a wedding tragedy?
A: To marry a man for love, and then find out he has no money


Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.


Q: How can you tell the married men at a wedding reception?
A: They're the ones dancing with everyone.

__________________________________________________

Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister.
At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them
automatically said, "Hello, Father."

The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's not a  father,
you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and
got three kids!"

____________________________________________________



Beautiful waterfalls around the planet.





Today on April 28
0357:Constantius II visited Rome for the first time.
1282:Villagers in Palermo led a revolt against French rule 
 in Sicily.
1635:Virginia Governor John Harvey was accused of treason 
 and removed from office.
1686:The first volume of Isaac Newton's "Principia
Mathamatic" was published.
1789:A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a 
rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island. 
The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.
1818:U.S. President James Monroe proclaimed naval
disarmament on the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain.
1896:The Addressograph was patented by J.S. Duncan.
1902:A revolution broke out in the Dominican Republic.
1910:First night air flight was performed by Claude 
 Grahame-White in England.
1914:W.H. Carrier patented the design of his air
conditioner.
1916:The British declared martial law throughout Ireland.
1919:The League of Nations was founded.
1920:Azerbaijan joined the USSR.
1932:The yellow fever vaccine for humans was announced.
1937:The first animated-cartoon electric sign was displayed
 on a building on Broadway in New York City. It was created
 by Douglas Leight.
1945:Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci were 
 executed by Italian partisans as they attempted to flee 
 the country.
1946:The Allies indicted Tojo with 55 counts of war crimes.
1947:Norwegian anthropologist Thor Heyerdahl and five
 others set out in a balsa wood raft known as Kon Tiki to 
 prove that Peruvian Indians could have settled in Polynesia.
 The trip began in Peru and took 101 days to complete the 
 crossing of the Pacific Ocean.
1952:The U.S. occupation of Japan officially ended when a 
 treaty with the U.S. and 47 other countries went into
 effect.
1953:French troops evacuated northern Laos.
1965:The U.S. Army and Marines invaded the Dominican 
 Republic to evacuate Americans.
1967:Muhammad Ali refused induction into the U.S. Army and 
 was stripped of boxing title. He cited religious grounds 
 for his refusal.
1969:Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France.
1974:The last Americans were evacuated from Saigon.
1988:In Maui, HI, one flight attendant was killed when the 
 fuselage of a Boeing 737 ripped open in mid-flight.
1989:Mobil announced that they were divesting from South 
 Africa because congressional restrictions were too costly.
1994:Former CIA official Aldrich Ames, who had given U.S. 
 secrets to the Soviet Union and then Russia, pled guilty to 
 espionage and tax evasion. He was sentenced to life in
prison without parole.
1996:U.S. President Clinton gave a 4 1/2 hour videotaped 
 testimony as a defense witness in the criminal trial of his 
 former Whitewater business partners.
1997:A worldwide treaty to ban chemical weapons took
 effect. Russia and other countries such as Iraq and North 
 Korea did not sign.
2001:A Russian rocket launched from Central Asia with the 
 first space tourist aboard. The crew consisted of California
 businessman Dennis Tito and two cosmonauts. The destination
 was the international space station. 
2016  smiled.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2016, 07:18 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 27


Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
2 arrested after child found in hot car 
outside Nashville strip club
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 26, in
1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at Battle of 
Dunbar.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Generosity is giving more than you can,
and pride is taking less than you need.
--- Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

Given a choice between two theories,
take the one which is funnier.
--- Blore's Razor

Since a politician never believes what he says,
he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.
--- Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several
times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it
hasn't changed since Adam. Theoretically you should have
gotten the hang of it by now.
We have to study continuously to keep up to date with new
models coming every month from 27 different makers!"




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>From Roland
This morning my neighbor came over and we shot a few
lines of bull, and settled the world problems.

When I asked him why he never brought his wife with him,
his response was: "The last time she got ready to go out
with me on the same day, was when the Fire Alarm Went Off."

______________________________________________________

A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a
piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store
and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take
up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.

"That's a lot of chicks," commented the proprietor. "I mean
business," the city slicker replied.

A week later the yuppie was back again. "I need another 100
chicks," he said. "Boy, you are serious about this chicken
farming," the man told him.

"Yeah," the yuppie replied. "If I can iron out a few
problems." 

"Problems?" asked the proprietor. 

"Yeah," replied the yuppie, "I think I planted that last
batch too close together."

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Kelsey McMurtry, 24, left, 
Summer Taylor, 19
Nashville,
Tennessee
2 arrested after child found in hot car 
outside Nashville strip club

A mother and her friend are facing charges after her child
was found in a hot car outside a Nashville strip club.
Police said they found the 9-month-old inside a PT Cruiser
outside Deja Vu on Demonbreun Street at 4 p.m. Thursday.

The responding officer talked to the mother's friend, Summer
Taylor, who said she was helping to keep an eye on the child
while her mother was on the stage stripping for an audition.

Taylor said she had been coming outside to check on the
child, but witnesses said Taylor never left the strip club.

Two witnesses told police both women had been inside the
strip club for at least 30 minutes before officers
responded.

According to the affidavit, all the windows in the car were
rolled up. Police said the child was wearing a medium to
heavy coat and was "drenched in sweat."

At the time, temperatures outside were 70 degrees. In the
affidavit, police estimated it may have been up to 101
degrees inside the vehicle.

The girl was rushed to the hospital and is now in the care
of the Tennessee Department of Children's Services.

Police said the child's mother, Kelsey McMurtry, lied to
them about her name. She reportedly had an outstanding
warrant.

Both McMurtry and Taylor have been charged with child
neglect. McMurtry was also charged with criminal
impersonation.

Purnima Unni is the Pediatric Trauma Injury Prevention
manager at Vanderbilt. She said most of the time parents
don’t mean to hurt their children. It is usually an
accident.

“There is no time that is an acceptable time for a child to
be left alone in a car. It’s as simple as that,” Unni said.

With warmer temperatures on the way, medical professionals
wanted to remind parents to be aware.

Last year, 24 children were killed after being left in 
hot cars. Two have already died this year.

“The child’s body temperature rises three to five times
faster and higher than an adult,” Unni said. “So 104
degrees, you find the internal organs of the child begin to
shut down. And when it’s 107 degrees, we can see near
death.”
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Neil
RE: Re Carols Automatic email
Dear Webby
She could make an icon using a selfie or her picture by
going to this free converter site. 
http://www.rw-designer.com/image-to-icon

Neil

Thanks Neil!

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


On a recent evening my family sat in a darkened theater
waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up
with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, we
noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence
continued for several moments.

Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd
demanded, "Okay, who's sitting on the remote?"

______________________________________________________
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please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Corn Dog Recipes
By Cindy [111 Comments]

This is the recipe my family has been using since the late
1950's.
Corny Dogs
1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup cornmeal
1 egg, well beaten
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk
Insert skewers into 8 frankerfurters. Dip franks into
cornmeal mixture. Drop into deep fat and fry until golden
brown.


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Frieda had just finished her fish dinner. She was,
however, not at all happy with it, so she called over
the waiter and said: "I've sure tasted fresher fish!"

"Not in here," replied the waiter.

___________________________________________________

birth to 12 years with a LOT of words

____________________________________________________

Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who
dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his
friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully 
in order to impress on him the possibilities of the
brokerage business.

"Look at that yacht," he said as they drove slowly
past a marina. "That 96' beauty belongs to the senior
partner at Merrill Lynch. That one over there 104'
is owned by the head of Goldman, Sachs.  And look
at that huge 210' yacht out there. That's the pride
and joy of the top seller at Prudential-Bache."

His friend Morris was silent. Goodman turned to look
at him and saw a pained look on his face.

"What's the matter?" Goodman asked.

"That economy rowboat rental down there beside the marina,
" Morris said,. "is that for the people they have sold to?"

__________________________________________________

The congregation of a small stone church decided that the
stone which formed the step up to the front door had become
too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced.
Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the
replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that
the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply
turning the block of stone over.

They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten
them to it and had already done that once.

____________________________________________________



Fawzia Fuad, Queen of Iran and Princess of Egypt, 1939 was extraordinarily beautiful!  





Today on April 26
1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at Battle of Dunbar.
1509 Pope Julius II excommunicated the Italian state of Venice.
1521 Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was killed by 
 natives in the Philippines.
1565 The first Spanish settlement in Philippines was 
 established in Cebu City.
1805 A force led by U.S. Marines captured the city of Derna, 
 on the shores of Tripoli.
1813 Americans under Gen. Pike capture York (present day 
 Toronto) the seat of government in Ontario.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln suspended the writ of habeas 
 corpus.
1861 West Virginia seceded from Virginia after Virginia 
 seceded from the Union during the American Civil War.
1865 In the U.S. the Sultana exploded while carrying 
 2,300 Union POWs. Between 1,400 2,000 were killed.
1880 Francis Clarke and M.G. Foster patented the 
 electrical hearing aid.
1909 The sultan of Turkey, Abdul Hamid II, was overthrown.
1937 German bombers devastated Guernica, Spain.
1938 Geraldine Apponyi married King Zog of Albania. 
 She was the first American woman to become a queen.
1945 The Second Republic was founded in Austria.
1946 The SS African Star was placed in service. 
 It was the first commercial ship to be equipped 
 with radar.
1950 South Africa passed the Group Areas Act, which 
 formally segregated races.
1953 The U.S. offered $50,000 and political asylum 
 to any Communist pilot that delivered a MIG jet.
1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan.
1975 Saigon was encircled by North Vietnamese troops.
1978 Pro-Soviet Marxists seized control of Afghanistan.
1984 In London, Libyan gunmen left the Libyan Embassy 11 
 days after killing a policewoman and wounding 10 others.
1989 Student protestors took over Tiananmen Square in 
 Beijing.
1987 The U.S. Justice Department barred Austrian President 
 Kurt Waldheim from entering the U.S. He was accused of 
 aiding in the deportation and execution of thousands of 
 Jews and others as a German Army officer during WWII, 
 even though he was too young for that.
2005 The A380, the world's largest jetliner, completed 
 its maiden flight. The passenger capability was 840.
2006 In New York, NY, construction began on the 
 1,776-foot Freedom Tower on the site of former 
 World Trade Center. 
2016  smiled.

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Tuesday, April 26, 2016, 06:29 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 26


Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman with .708 Blood Alcohol
in stolen truck arrested in South Dakota
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 26, in
1514 - Copernicus made his first observations of Saturn.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Nobody can be exactly like me.
Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
--- Tallulah Bankhead
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on
a cliff several hundred feet in the air.

The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a
basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who
pulled and tugged with all their strength.

Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was
terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about
half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was
suspended was old and frayed.

With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding
with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The
monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever
it breaks."




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There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

 A burglar needing money to pay his income taxes decided to
 burgle the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very
 pleased to find a note reading, "Please don't use dynamite.
 The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob." He did so.

 Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises
 were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.

 As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard
 moaning, "Can't trust nobody anymore!"

______________________________________________________

At mighty USC
pay your fee
and get a "B"
but at fancy UCLA
for that you get an "A"


______________________________________________________

Thanks to Lillemor for an update on her sneaky roses:



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Marguerite Engle,
45,
Rapid City,
South Dakota
Woman with .708 Blood Alcohol
in stolen truck arrested in South Dakota

The South Dakota woman recorded a mind-boggling .708 blood
alcohol content after being arrested earlier this month when
a state trooper found her passed out behind the wheel of a
stolen truck.

Engle's whopping BAC was measured by a Rapid City Police
Department chemist who tested a blood sample drawn from
Engle.
  
Engle is pictured above in a mug shot taken earlier this
year after she was arrested for assaulting a government
employee and being intoxicated and disruptive. Engle was
named in a two-count South Dakota Magistrate Court
indictment charging her with driving under the influence and
driving with a BAC beyond the .08 limit.

A traffic ticket issued to Engle notes that she "bonded out-
hospitalized" after being collared in Sturgis just before
noon on December 1. Engle is also facing charges in
connection with her possession of the stolen vehicle. 
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Carol
RE: Email Automatic
Dear Webby
My mother's health is not good and I want her to have the
absolute simplest way to page me. She forgets to get off-
line and figures the line is busy when she tries to call me
and so doesn't even try using her cell phone.
Is there a way to make a desktop icon that will start a mail
to my pager, with the subject line already filled in?
Thanks
Carol

Dear Carol
Yes, there is a way. On her machine go into her browser, 
click on bookmarks or favorites and find some old and 
obsolete bookmark. Right-click it and select Properties.

Change the name of the bookmark to "ET CALL HOME"
or something like that. Then in the URL slot, replace what
is there with
mailto:cell-email-address@domain.com?subject="CALL MOM"

Of course, instead of "cell-email-address@domain.com" you
use your actual pager or cellphone email address.
Hit OK.
Then go into her bookmarks again, find the "ET CALL HOME"
bookmark, right-click it, choose SEND TO, and send it to the
desktop.

That will make a desktop shortcut icon.
Find the icon and change the icon picture to one that is
different from all the others and easily recognizable, 
then drag the icon to the top left or right corner where it 
is easy to find.

Clicking that icon will open the mail program, start a new
mail, fill in your cellphone or pager email address, fill in

the subject line, and all she has to do is click on SEND and
your phone will start beeping and show her address and the
subject line.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


Mary was married to a male chauvinist.  They both worked
full time,  but he never did anything around the house and
certainly not any  housework.  That, he declared, was
woman's work.

But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the
children  bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine
and  another in the  dryer, dinner on the stove and a
beautifully  set table, complete with  flowers.

She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to
know what  was going on. It turned out that Charley, her
husband, had  read a magazine article that suggested
working wives would  be more romantically  inclined if
they weren't so tired from  having to do all the housework
in addition to holding down a full-time job.

The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends in the
office.

"How did it work out?" they asked.

"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said.  "Charley even
cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the 
laundry and put everything away."

"But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.

"It didn't work out," Mary said.  "Charley was too tired."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Corn Dog Recipes
By Cindy [111 Comments]

This is the recipe my family has been using since the late
1950's.
Corny Dogs
1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup cornmeal
1 egg, well beaten
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk
Insert skewers into 8 frankerfurters. Dip franks into
cornmeal mixture. Drop into deep fat and fry until golden
brown.


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

The following is a quote from a director of sports
information in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots
from the Naval Academy by Army rivals:

"We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut
through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away
there was an unlocked gate."

___________________________________________________

Glen Campbell - WilliamTell Overture - Hi Ho Silver! 

____________________________________________________

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, generally 35 children are enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes school.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to
     feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids have moved out.

__________________________________________________

The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued
a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of
her baby-doll nightgown.
Even though she was not injured, he carried her in his arms
down three flights of stairs.

As they arrived safely outside the building, she looked at
him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful.
It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me
the way you did."

"Yes it did," the fireman admitted.  "I had to fight off
three other firemen who were trying to get to you."

____________________________________________________



People are awesome!  
For the month of April 2016.





Today on April 26
1478 - Pazzi conspirators attacked Lorenzo and killed 
 Giuliano de'Medici.
1514 - Copernicus made his first observations of Saturn.
1607 - The British established an American colony at Cape Henry, 
 Virginia. It was the first permanent English establishment in 
 the Western Hemisphere.
1865 - John Wilkes Booth was killed by the U.S. Federal Cavalry.
1929 - First non-stop flight from England to India was completed.
1964 - The African nations of Tanganyika and Zanzibar merged 
 to form Tanzania.
1968 - Students seized the administration building at Ohio 
 State University.
1985 - In Argentina, a fire at a mental hospital killed 79 
 people and injured 247.
1986 - The world’s worst nuclear disaster to date occurred 
 at Chernobyl, Ukraine. Thirty-one people died in the incident 
 and thousands more were exposed to radioactive material.
1998 - Auxiliary Bishop Juan Gerardi Conedera was bludgeoned 
 to death two days after a report he'd compiled on atrocities 
 during Guatemala's 36-year civil war was made public.
2000 - Charles Wang and Sanjay Kumar purchased the NHL's 
 New York Islanders.
2002 - In Erfurt, Germany, an expelled student killed 17 
 people at his former school. The student then killed himself. 
2016  smiled.

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---

Multiple outlet bars 

Monday, April 25, 2016, 05:48 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, April 25

We got the first real rain of the year.
All the brown lawns turned green in a matter of hours,
bushes and trees started showing buds and little leaflets,
and my raspberries made it quite clear which shoots are
live and which ones need to be cut.

I am going to have to invent pruning shears with long
handles at a right angle for operating without bending 
down or crawling on the ground. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Arkansas Pastor turned in by his wife after finding child
pornography on their computer. Anthony Waller also raped two
girls at the First Ass. Church of God in Jonesboro,Arkansas.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 24, in
1684 A patent was granted for the thimble.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, 
but a comedy to those who think.
--- Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
When the spread of the now protected seals and the fishing 
by foreign fleets made fishing less and less profitable in 
Newfoundland, Angus and Farley approached the Governemnt 
with a bid to dig a tunnel to the mainland. They asked for 
$100,000 each.

"Considering equipment and labor costs", the Transport Dept
asked them, "how do you propose to do the job for such a
pittance?"

"It's simple," the Angus replied. "My partner grabs a 
shovel, goes to the mainland and starts digging. I take 
another shovel and start digging from here.
We dig until we meet -- and you've got a tunnel!"

"But what if you never meet?"

"Then you've got TWO tunnels for the price of one!"




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

During basic training for the Army Nurse Corps, we were
required to spend one week in the field roughing it. It
rained the entire week. We arose daily in our swampy tent,
took a cold-water beauty bath from our helmets, donned our
pistol belts and ponchos, and trudged through the mud to set
up field hospitals. Obviously, our personal appearance
frequently left much to be desired.

The final blow to our feminine pride occurred while we
waited in the mess line in the mud and rain. A young private
came by with a camera and asked to take our picture. "It
will prove to my girl," he said, "that she has NO reason to
be jealous!"

He lived, barely.

______________________________________________________

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She
told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he
doesn't even believe there's a Hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two
of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Anthony Waller,
39,
Jonesboro, 
Arkansas
Wife turns in Pastor after finding child
pornography on their computer. Anthony Waller also raped two
girls at the First Ass. Church of God in Jonesboro,
Arkansas.

Arkansas pastor whose wife discovered his horrendous child
porn collection will serve two life sentences over the rape
of girls at his church
Anthony Waller, 39, raped two girls at the First Assembly
Church of God in Jonesboro, Arkansas

His wife found pornographic images on his computer and told
police

He was then found to have raped two girls in the bathroom at
the church and also in other locations

Waller is also facing charges of video voyeurism and child
pornography 

A disgraced Arkansas pastor who was charged with the rape of
two girls after his wife discovered his shocking collection
of child pornography on their laptop, will serve two life
sentences in prison.

Anthony Waller, 39, was given no chance of parole after
pleading guilty to two counts of rape on Tuesday, according
to the Jonesboro Sun. 

The former children's pastor committed the offences while an
employee at the First Assembly of God Church in Jonesboro,
Arkansas, about 70 miles north-west of Memphis, Tennessee.

The court heard Waller raped the girls in the bathroom of
the church and at other locations. 

In addition to the rape charges, Waller still faces 50
counts of video voyeurism and one count of child
pornography. 

Waller began working at the church in 1999, but his crimes
were only discovered when his wife Angela found disturbing
images of young girls on a computer they shared.

After confronting her husband over what she had found, Mrs
Waller handed the images over to police.

Police praised the decision of Mrs Waller in what they
described as one of the biggest child pornography cases
they'd seen. 

A police detective testified to finding 400,000 images of
child pornography and videos of young females inside the
church bathroom on an external hard drive of Waller's. 
The detective says he found holes in the ceiling of the
church bathroom and a place for a hidden camera nearby. 
In 2015, Waller told officers 'he had been addicted to child
pornography for over 20 years'.   
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Ramona
RE: Multiple outlet bars
Dear Webby
I needed more electrical outlets for all the gadgets that
connect to the laptop, so I got a second plug strip and
plugged that into the first one. Everything worked fine, but
when a friend of mine saw that, he freaked out and told me I
would burn the house down by doing that.

Both plug strips have surge protectors and little overload
breakers, and the wall socket is also protected with a
breaker at the panel. His explanation didn't make sense to
me but he was dead serious. Is there anything I don't know
about and that I should worry about ?
Ramona

Dear Ramona
Except for your choice of friends, what you are doing is
perfectly OK and absolutely nothing to worry about. The
power used by all those gadgets doesn't amount to much. Most
likely all of them  together plus your laptop use less than
a quarter of what a hair dryer would use.

As long as you don't plug in kitchen appliances, hair dryers
and vacuum cleaners like that, you have absolutely nothing
to worry about. If you do, you will pop a breaker. However,
in a normally wired building, nothing will overheat.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but
especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart
and back together again.

The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?"

The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like
this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an
old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and
pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a
small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched small circles of lights above the walls light up.
They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse
direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old
woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, "Go get Mother !"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Corn Dog Recipes
By Cindy [111 Comments]

This is the recipe my family has been using since the late
1950's.
Corny Dogs
1 cup flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 cup cornmeal
1 egg, well beaten
3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk
Insert skewers into 8 frankerfurters. Dip franks into
cornmeal mixture. Drop into deep fat and fry until golden
brown.


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Here is a joke that keeps coming back to me:
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front
of her, a man gets up from his seat.

She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up
the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor,
defenseless woman his seat," so she pushes him back onto the
seat.

A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is
still insulted so she refuses to let him up again.

Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get
up. I'm twelve blocks past my stop already."

___________________________________________________

Desert Air. Switch to HD. It is in High Definition

____________________________________________________

That remids me..
At a a crowded and busy bus stop, a woman wearing a tight
leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and
it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt
was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of
the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus
driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little,
thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her
leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still
couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for
the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to
her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to
unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her
picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on
the top step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and
screamed, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know
who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would
agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times,
I kinda figured we was friends."

__________________________________________________

And that reminds me of ANOTHER bus joke:
Reverend George had minor surgery after a bad accident and
gets on the bus to get back to the rectory. He looks quite
bedraggled and more like he had been in a bar fight than
being hit by a cab, and is still a bit groggy from the
anesthetic.

He staggers up the aisle, and sits down next to an elderly
woman. She looks Reverend George up and down and
screeches at him:
"I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"

The Reverend George jumps up out of his seat and shouts:
"Hold it, driver!
I'm on the wrong bus! I don't wanna go where SHE goes!"

____________________________________________________



One of a kind motorcycle.





Today on April 25
1590 The Sultan of Morocco launched his successful attack  
 to capture Timbuktu.
1644 The Ming Chongzhen emperor committed suicide by 
 hanging himself.
1684 A patent was granted for the thimble.
1707 At the Battle of Almansa, Franco-Spanish forces 
 defeated the Anglo-Portugese.
1792 The guillotine was first used to execute highwayman 
 Nicolas J. Pelletier.
1846 The Mexican-American War ignited as a result of disputes 
 over claims to Texas boundaries. The outcome of the war 
 fixed Texas' southern boundary at the Rio Grande River.
1859 Work began on the Suez Canal in Egypt.
1860 The first Japanese diplomats to visit a foreign power 
 reached Washington, DC. They remained in the U.S. capital 
 for several weeks while discussing expansion of trade 
 with the United States.
1862 Union Admiral Farragut occupied New Orleans, LA.
1864 After facing defeat in the Red River Campaign, 
 Union General Nathaniel Bank returned to Alexandria, LA.
1867 Tokyo was opened for foreign trade.
1882 French commander Henri Riviere seized the citadel of 
 Hanoi in Indochina.
1898 The U.S. declared war on Spain. Spain had declared war 
 on the U.S. the day before.
1901 New York became the first state to require license 
 plates for cars. The fee was $1.
1925 General Paul von Hindenburg took office as 
 president of Germany.
1926 In Iran, Reza Kahn was crowned Shah and choose 
 the name "Pehlevi."
1928 A seeing eye dog was used for the first time.
1945 U.S. and Soviet forces met at Torgau, Germany 
 on Elbe River.
1952 After a three-day fight against Chinese Communist 
 Forces, the Gloucestershire Regiment was annihilated 
 on "Gloucester Hill," in Korea.
1957 Operations began at the first experimental sodium 
 nuclear reactor.
1959 St. Lawrence Seaway opened to shipping. The water 
 way connects the Great Lakes and the Atlantic Ocean.
1961 Robert Noyce was granted a patent for the 
 integrated circuit.
1962 The U.S. spacecraft, Ranger, crashed on the Moon.
1971 The country of Bangladesh was established.
1974 Portuguese dictator Antonio Salazar was overthrown 
 in a military coup.
1976 Portugal ratified a constitution. It was first 
 revised on October 30, 1982.
1980 In Iran, a commando mission to rescue hostages was 
 aborted after mechanical problems disabled three of the 
 eight helicopters involved. During the evacuation, a 
 helicopter and a transport plane collided and exploded. 
 Eight U.S. servicemen were killed. The mission was aimed 
 at freeing American hostages that had been taken at the 
 U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979. The event 
 took place April 24th Washington, DC, time.
1982 In accordance with Camp David agreements, Israel 
 completed its Sinai withdrawal.
1983 The Pioneer 10 spacecraft crossed Pluto's orbit, 
 speeding on its endless voyage through the Milky Way.
1984 In France, over one million people demonstrated 
 to show they favored the decentralization of education.
1984 David Anthony Kennedy, the son of Robert F. Kennedy, 
 was found dead of a drug overdose in a hotel room.
1987 In Washington, DC, 100,000 people protested the U.S. 
 policy in Central America.
1988 In Israel, John "Ivan the Terrible" Demjanuk was 
 sentenced to death as a Nazi war criminal.
1990 Sandinista rule ended in Nicaragua.
1990 The U.S. Hubble Space Telescope was placed into 
 Earth's orbit. It was released by the space shuttle 
 Discovery.
1992 Islamic forces in Afghanistan took control of most of 
 the capital of Kabul following the collapse of the 
 Communist government.
1996 The main assembly of the Palestine Liberation Organization 
 voted to revoke clauses in its charter that called for an 
 armed struggle to destroy Israel.
1998 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton on was questioned 
 by Whitewater prosecutors on videotape about her work as a 
 private lawyer for the failed savings and loan at the center 
 of the investigation.
2003 Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, the anti-apartheid leader and 
 ex-wife of former President Nelson Mandela, was sentenced 
 to four years in prison for her conviction on fraud and theft 
 charges. She was convicted of 43 counts of fraud and 25 of 
 theft of money from a women's political league. 


2016  smiled.

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---

Cleaning a dirty keyboard 

Sunday, April 24, 2016, 09:35 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas Youth Pastor Beaten by Witnesses Who 
Caught Him Sexually Assaulting Kindergartner
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 24, in
1967 The newest Greek regime banned miniskirts.
Greeks have never forgiven their government.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Reality is the leading cause of stress
amongst those in touch with it.
--- Jane Wagner

If marriage were outlawed,
then only outlaws would have inlaws.
--- Socratex
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

I met a man who had been married for 66 years.
"Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to
such a long, happy marriage?"

"Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all
the big decisions ... and the woman just makes the
little decisions."

"Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?"
"Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not
one big decision!"




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working
so hard.  He picked out a strong young man to become his
apprentice.

The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot
of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you
to do."

One day the old blacksmith took a nicely glowing piece of
iron out  of the forge and with his long metal tongs held it
it over the horn of the anvil. "Get the hammer over there,"
he said.
"When I nod my head, hit  it real good and hard."

Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith....

______________________________________________________

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat
word for word what you shouldn't have said.

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Lillemor for this picture


The roses are actually behind the hedge, but growing up
through the hedge.
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Willie Lee Bell Jr., 
29
Cedar Hill,
Texas
Texas Youth Pastor Beaten by Witnesses Who 
Caught Him Sexually Assaulting Kindergartner

Police arrested Willie Lee Bell Jr., 29, a children’s
minister at First United Church of Cedar Hill, after he was
reportedly caught molesting a 6-year-old.

Witnesses beat a Texas youth pastor whom they allegedly
caught sexually assaulting a 6-year-old he had lured behind 
an apartment building. The report did not state how 
thoroughly the pastor was beat up, but he was not able to 
limp away when the police finally showed up.

Police arrested Willie Lee Bell Jr., 29, a children's
minister at First United Methodist Church in Cedar Hill, on
Thursday, Fox 4 News reports. According to the news station,
Bell's recent arrest was not the first time the youth pastor
has been charged with sexual assault. He's currently facing
two charges of sexually assaulting little boys at a Dallas
apartment in February. The two boys reportedly told police
that they were abused behind an apartment complex. The boys
said that the man was wearing "church shoes."

Despite those charges, Fox 4 reports that Bell continued
working around children at the church until his most recent
arrest.

"It's painful. It's devastating. It's a nightmare," the mom
of the most recent alleged victim, who did not want to be
iden                                                        
tified, told the news station. She said that she doesn't
know Bell and nor does her family, adding that her son was
outside playing when Bell lured him behind an apartment
building. Bystanders noticed Bell and the child behind the
building and attacked him. Police were called and arrested
Bell.

"If it wasn't for them, he probably would have done more to
my child," the mom said.

United Methodist Church of North Texas issued a statement to
Fox 4 noting that it had "no knowledge of any criminal acts
happening at the church, and that it is cooperating with
police."
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Ellen
RE: Cleaning a keyboard
Dear Webby
What is the best way to clean a keyboard?
My husband's keyboard is starting to look utterly
disgusting with everything from pizza to cake permanently
attached to it.
Thanks
Ellen

Dear Ellen
Whack it upside down on a newspaper covered table or 
sidewalk to shake crumbs and paperclips and French Fries 
out.

Then take a soft bath sponge and hot soapy water and while
somebody holds the keyboard upside down, scrub it thoroughly
with the sponge.

After that, just let it drip dry in the sun.

If you scrubbed hard enough, it will be like new.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


A voice on the government building loudspeaker announced: 
"We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will
work properly in case of emergency."

My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the
voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement,
please contact Security."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Custard Layer Cake
By April [9 Posts, 74 Comments]

A unique cake with a custard center. Easier than it looks.
It starts out as basic cake batter and turns into a custard
layer cake. Be sure to try the chocolate version too!
http://www.thriftyfun.com/Chocolate-Custard-Cake.html
Approximate Time: 20 minutes to prep, 1 hour to bake
Yield: 9-12 pieces

Ingredients:
4 eggs (room temperature)
3/4 cup sugar
8 Tbsp butter, melted
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup all purpose flour
2 cups lukewarm milk
powdered sugar for dusting top

Steps:
Line 8 x 8" baking dish with parchment paper.
Separate eggs. Beat whites until stiff, set aside.
Beat the yolks and sugar until light and fluffy.
Add butter and vanilla. Beat 2 mins.
Add the cocoa and flour, and mix thoroughly.
Slowly add the milk and beat until everything is well
blended.
Gently fold in the egg whites using a spatula, a third at a
time. Repeat until all the whipped egg whites are folded in.
You will no longer have large white clumps.
Pour batter into baking dish and bake approx. 60 min. until
top is lightly golden.
Cool to room temperature, and then chill.
Dust top with powdered sugar.



______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, "You know,   
honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this   
article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves   
a stumbling block to the son."   

"Well, thank heaven," said the wife, "at least our James has   
nothing standing in his way."  

___________________________________________________

Desert Air. Switch to HD. It is in High Definition

____________________________________________________

Father teaching his daughter to drive:
"Stop on red, go on green, and
slow down when I turn purple."

__________________________________________________

Some people must have been put on this world just to amuse!
I got this spam today with the subject line:

Subject: Get a Diploma from a pretigous University

Their hilarious spelling of prestigious makes me wonder in
which California trailer court that University is located.
The area code is 310, and they don't require any tests,
classes books or interviews. Just your credit card info.

Judging by the spelling, the teachers of that con artist
probably got their diplomas the same way.

____________________________________________________



One of a kind motorcycle.





Today on April 24
1519 Envoys of Montezuma II attended the first Easter mass 
 in Central America.
1547 Charles V's troops defeated the Protestant League of 
 Schmalkalden at the battle of Muhlburg.
1558 Mary, Queen of Scotland, married the French dauphin, 
 Francis.
1805 The U.S. Marines attacked and captured the town of 
 Derna in Tripoli.
1833 A patent was granted for first soda fountain.
1877 Russia declared war on the Ottoman Empire.
1877 In the U.S., federal troops were ordered out of 
 New Orleans. This was the end to the North's post-Civil War 
 rule in the South.
1884 Otto von Bismarck cabled Cape Town that South Africa 
 was now a German colony.
1889 The Edison General Electric Company was organized.
1898 Spain declared war on the U.S., rejecting America's 
 ultimatum for Spain to withdraw from Cuba.
1915 During World War I, the Ottoman Turkish Empire began 
 the mass deportation of Armenians.
1916 Irish nationalists launched the Easter Rebellion against 
cBritish occupation forces. They were overtaken several 
 days later.
1944 The first B-29 arrived in China, over the Hump of the 
 Himalayas.
1961 U.S. President Kennedy accepted "sole responsibility" 
 following Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba.
1962 MIT sent a TV signal by satellite for the first time.
1967 Soviet astronaut Vladimir Komarov died when his craft 
 crashed with a tangled parachute.
1967 The newest Greek regime banned miniskirts.
1970 The People's Republic of China launched its first satellite.
1973 Albert Sabin reported that herpesviruses were factors in 
 nine kinds of cancer.
1989 Thousands of students began striking in Beijing.
1990 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL. It was carrying the $1.5 billion Hubble 
 Space Telescope.
2016  smiled.

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---

Showing file name extensions 

Friday, April 22, 2016, 08:34 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 22
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Pennsylvania father arrested after 'recklessly' 
waving gun and killing 4 year old daughter
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 22, in
1500 Portuguese navigator Pedro Alvares Cabral discovered 
Brazil. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, 
may be happy.
--- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) 

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't
at stake at the moment.
--- Willis Player
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few
minutes. When she returned, she found the children in
perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet.

She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen
anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell
me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved
and quiet?"

Finally, after much urging, little Sally spoke up and said,
"Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and
found us quiet, you would drop dead."




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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

Doctor:  "I see you're over a month late for your
appointment.
Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and
regular attention?  What's your excuse?"

Patient:  "I was just following your orders, Doc."

Doctor:  "Following my orders?  What are you talking about?
I gave you no such order."

Patient:  "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."

______________________________________________________

Maxine reported for her final examination which consisted
of Yes / No answers.

She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the
question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a
quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and
marking the answer sheet "Yes" for heads and "N" for tails.

Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the
class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes
of the exam period, Maxine frantically started flipping the
coin again.

The moderator, concerned about what she was doing,
stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago--but,"
explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I'm going back thru
and checking my answers!"

______________________________________________________



From FB
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Maurice Phillips,
30,
Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania father arrested after 'recklessly' 
waving gun and killing 4 year old daughter

Authorities allege that a Philadelphia father was "carelessly
and recklessly" waving a gun around a bedroom with seven
children present when it went off, killing his 4-year-old
daughter.

Thirty-year-old Maurice Phillips is charged with third-degree
murder, involuntary manslaughter, child endangerment and
reckless endangerment in Saturday's death of 4-year-old
Tahirah Phillips.

Homicide division Capt. James Clark said Monday the girl and
her six siblings were watching television when Phillips came
in and started waving the weapon around. It discharged and
hit the girl in the back of the head.

Police allege that Phillips then struck his 5-year-old
daughter and wiped blood onto her shirt in an apparent effort
to shift blame. Police previously believed the girl's 5-year-
old sibling was the shooter. Phillips fled but later turned
himself in and ultimately confessed.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Barb
RE: File name extensions
Dear Webby
My machine at work shows the extensions of files and I can
see for example if a picture is a GIF or a JPG. How do I
trick my home machine to do that too?
Barb

Dear Barb
Go into the File Explorer and click on
Tools
Folder Options
View
Turn ON  the radio button that says:
"Show hidden files and folders"

Take the ckeckmark OFF
"Hide Extensions for known file types"

Click OK, and it's done.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


A doctor sees an old man merrily walking down the street with
a gorgeous young lady on his arm and recognizes him as one
of his clients whom he had not seen in quite a few years.

Half a year later he sees the old man and his young companion
at the bank in line ahead of him.
The doctor says, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

"Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a hot mamma and
be cheerful."

"I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart murmur, be
careful..."

"Too late!", the woman replied, "we like the other version
better and got married 3 years ago!"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Jar Snow Globe
By audrey5682.844 [11 Posts]

Here is a cute personalized snow globe you can make with
anything you have gotten from other places. This project has
simple steps and uses limited supplies. It is a fun way to
spice up your desk or dresser.
 
Approximate Time: 15minJar Snow Globe

Supplies:
glass jar, a canning style works well
glue
objects of interest
glitter

Steps:
Unscrew the lid from the jar and collect your object.
Glue your object onto the lid of the jar.
Let object sit until dry.
Fill the jar with water.
Add colored glitter in the amount wanted.
Put the lid on and tip it upside down and your done!


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an
attractive girl.  Immediately she began flirting at him and
and flattering him outrageously. Naturally he liked the young
ladys attention, but he was taken a bit aback by her fast
and
ardent pitch. He was utterly amazed when after 30 minutes
she seriously proposed marriage.

"Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can
you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."

"You're wrong," the young lady declared. "For the past 5
years your paycheck has been automatically deposited to the
bank where I work. Just because you prefer to use the ATM
machine outside, that doesn't mean I don't know all about
you!"

___________________________________________________

Aurora from space

____________________________________________________

An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door
due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the
gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking
in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood
clots forming in the leg veins.

Once an hour the nurses walked the patient in the hall, a
nurses aide on each side with his arms over their sholders.
Behind them the floor nurse stomped along, gesticulating with
all kinds of fearsome devices and explaining just what kind
of enema he would need if he stopped walking.

After a week, the patient was ready to go home. His family
came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely
for what he had done for their father. The surgeon was
pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was
really a simple operation but that  they had been lucky to
get
him to the hospital in time.

"But doctor, you don't understand,"  his daughter said,
"Dad hasn't walked in over five years!"

__________________________________________________

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New
York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in
hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses.

"Tsk Tsk!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight.
That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see
if I can help."

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,
"What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink
with me?"

The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind
stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka
and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old
man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you
catch today ?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful
smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"

____________________________________________________



Model Swims With Sharks On Fashion Shoot





Today on April 22
1500 Portuguese navigator Pedro Alvares Cabral discovered Brazil. 
1509 Henry VIII ascended to the throne of England
1529 Spain and Portugal divided the eastern hemisphere in the 
 Treaty of Saragosa. 
1792 U.S. President George Washington proclaimed American 
 neutrality in the war in Europe. 
1861 Robert E. Lee was named commander of Virginia forces. 
1864 The U.S. Congress passed legislation that allowed the 
 inscription "In God We Trust" to be included on one-cent 
 and two-cent coins. 
1889 At noon, the Oklahoma land rush officially started as 
 thousands of Americans raced for new, unclaimed land. 
1898 The first shot of the Spanish-American war occurred 
 when the USS Nashville captured a Spanish merchant ship. 
1915 At the Second Battle Ypres the Germans became the 
 first country to use poison gas. 
1918 British naval forces attempted to sink block-ships 
 in the German U-boat bases at the Battle of Zeeburgge. 
1930 The U.S., Britain and Japan signed the London Naval 
 Treaty, which regulated submarine warfare and limited 
 shipbuilding. 
1931 James G. Ray landed an autogyro on the lawn of the 
 White House. 
1944 During World War II, the Allies launched a major 
 attack against the Japanese in Hollandia, New Guinea. 
1952 An atomic test conducted in Nevada was the first 
 nuclear explosion shown on live network television. 
1954 The U.S. Senate Army-McCarthy televised hearings began. 
1993 The U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum was dedicated in 
 Washington, DC. 
1997 In Lima, Peru government commandos storm and capture 
 the residence of the Japanese ambassador ending a 126-day 
 hostage crisis. In the rescue 71 hostages were saved. 
 Those killed: one hostage (of a heart attack), two soldiers, 
 and all 14 rebels. 
2002 Filippino President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo ordered a 
 state of emergency in the city of General Santos in 
 response to a series of bombing attacks the day before. 
 The attacks were blamed on Muslim extremists. 
2010 The Boeing X-37 began its first orbital mission. It 
 successfully returned to Earth on December 3, 2010.
2016  smiled.

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---

Virtual Drive 

Thursday, April 21, 2016, 08:54 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Wisconsin man reports car stolen, 
is arrested for drunk driving for the 4th time. 
Brian Primm was pulled over for speeding in his own car.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 21, in
753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, 
is in the eye of the beholder.
--- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)

The secret of happiness is to make others believe
they are the cause of it.
--- Al Batt

"U.S. educators are reeling from the low math and
science test scores of American students. We bombed
in history too. Over 90 percent of American students
think BC means Before Cable."
--- Argus Hamilton
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Hair Cuts

Women's version:

Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me
        the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too
        fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my
        hair cut like that, but I think my face is too
        wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I
        think.
Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable,
        and you could easily get one of those layer
        cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was
        actually going to do that except that I was
        afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your
        neck! Anything to take attention away from this
        two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love
        to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so
        well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how
        short they are? If I had your shoulders I could
        get clothes to fit me so much easier.........

Men's version:

Man1: Got your ears lowered?
Man2: Yeah.
Man1: Beer tonight?
Man2: Yeah, sure.




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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

A russian wife shouts at her husband: " Drunkard!
I can`t stand it any longer! Why are you constantly
drinking vodka?"

He replied: "I drink it becausche itsch liquid.
If it wasch scholid, I`d chew it."

______________________________________________________

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on
display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.

"Yeah, my mom have one," the other replied.

"What's it for?"

"It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered.
"Every time mom stands on hers she gets really mad."

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Brian Primm
39,
Madison,
Wisconsin
Wisconsin man reports car stolen, 
is arrested for drunk driving for the 4th time. 
Brian Primm was pulled over for speeding in his own car.

A Madison man who reported his car stolen was later
arrested for his fourth operating while intoxicated
offense early Thursday morning.

According to a release from the Madison Police
Department, an officer spent over six minutes on the
phone talking to 39-year-old Brian M. Primm after he had
called 911 around 1:00 a.m. to report his car stolen.
Primm told the officer that he last saw his car parked
in the 100 block of W. Dayton Street.

Police said UW-Madison Police officers executed a high-
risk traffic stop around 1:40 a.m. near N. Breese
Terrace after they spotted Primm's car because they
believed the person behind the wheel was a thief. It
turned out to be the car's owner, Primm.

Primm failed to call police back and let them know he
had found his car. When Primm was asked why he had not
called back to let authorities know he had found his
car, he shrugged his shoulders. Apparently he was too
embarassed to admit that it was where he had parked it.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Adamo
RE: Virtual drive
Dear Webby
I read once that there is a way to declare a deep down
and difficult to get to folder in Explore as a virtual
drive. How is that done in W7 ?


Dear Adamo
In the days of DOS that would have taken 2 seconds to 
do. In Windows 7 it's way more work and hassle than it's
worth. There is a workaround though.

Put your mouse on a free spot on the deskto, 
right-click, NEW, Shortcut, 
navigate to that "deep down and difficult to get to" folder,
click OK, then give it a short nickname,
click OK, and you have a shortcut right from your desktop
into an Explorer window pre-set to that location.

If you put an e xclamation mark at the front of the name of
that shortcut, for example !-in-from-Skype, then it will
sort alphabetically on top in Explorer.

If you have a number of those and use them for example
for sorting ind weeding out music or pictures, you could
make a desktop folder and call that "Weeding", and drag
all of them into that "Weeding"  task folder.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


Kids' Science Answers:

"The wind is like the air, only pushier."

"Rain is called a soft water,
the opposite is hard water. I call it hail."

"Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people 
forget to put the lid on."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Spray Nozzle for Dish Soap Container
By KIM HOGGAN [35 Posts, 61 Comments]

Here is a way to control how much soap comes out of your
dish soap container. Get a sturdy spray nozzle from an old
bottle and just screw it on. Make the adjustment as to how
stong or soft you want the spray to be. You will save soap,
plus it will spray out more evenly over dishes.


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Bigamy is against the law,
you can't have your Kate and Edith , too!

___________________________________________________

Aurora from space

____________________________________________________

Before our daughter went off to college, our family took
a vacation in Colorado. So we flew to Denver and rented
a car. We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more
than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River.

Walking out onto the bridge, I noticed it swaying in the
wind. Then a car went past us, and the wood-plank
roadway moved beneath my feet. "I don't think I want to
drive the car across this bridge," I finally said.

"What are you worried about?" our daughter replied.
"It's a rental car."

__________________________________________________

Fisherman: "Hey, pal! You've been standing there
watching me fish for three hours! Why don't you get a
rod and reel and do some fishing yourself?"

Onlooker: "No, thanks. I don't have the patience for
it."

____________________________________________________



Holy cow!





Today on April 21
753 BC Today is the traditional date of the foundation of Rome. 
43 BC Marcus Antonius was defeated by Octavian near Modena, Italy. 
1526 Mongol Emperor Babur annihilated the Indian Army of 
 Ibrahim Lodi. 
1689 William III and Mary II were crowned joint king and queen 
 of England, Scotland and Ireland. 
1836 General Sam Houston defeated Santa Anna at the Battle of 
 San Jacinto. This battle decided the independence of Texas. 
1856 The Mississippi River was crossed by a rail train for the 
 first time (between Davenport, IA, and Rock Island, IL). 
1892 The first Buffalo was born in Golden Gate Park. 
1898 The Spanish-American War began. 
1914 U.S. Marines occupied Vera Cruz, Mexico. The troops 
 stayed for six months. 
1916 Bill Carlisle, the infamous ‘last train robber,’ 
 robbed a train in Hanna, WY. 
1918 German fighter ace Manfred von Richthofen, "The Red Baron," 
 was shot down and killed during World War I. 
1959 Alf Dean caught a 16-foot, 10-inch white shark that weighed 
 2,664 pounds. At the time it was the largest catch with a rod and reel. 
1960 Brasilia became the capital of Brazil. 
1961 The French army revolted in Algeria. 
1967 In Athens, Army colonels took over the government and 
 installed Constantine Kollias as premier. 
1972 Apollo 16 astronauts John Young and Charles Duke explored 
 the surface of the moon. 
1975 South Vietnam president, Nguyen Van Thieu, resigned, 
 condemning the United States. 
1984 In France, it was announced that doctors had found 
 virus believed to cause AIDS. 
1985 Manuel Ortega proposed a cease-fire for Nicaragua. 
1994 Jackie Parker became the first woman to qualify to fly 
 an F-16 combat plane. 
1998 Astronomers announced in Washington that they had 
 discovered possible signs of a new family of planets 
 orbiting a star 220 light-years away. 
2000 In Sinking Spring, PA, a man chased his estranged 
 girlfriend through town and then forced her car into the 
 path of an oncoming train. The woman and her 3 passengers 
 were killed. 
2000 North Carolina researchers announced that the heart of 
 a 66 million-year-old dinosaur was more like a mammal or 
 bird than that of a reptile. 
2002 In the city of General Santos, 14 people were killed 
 and 69 were injured in a bomb attack on a department store. 
 The attack was blamed on Muslim extremists. 



2016  smiled.

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---

What happened to Internet Explorer on W10 ? 

Wednesday, April 20, 2016, 08:38 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 20

Beautiful full moon out! 
It is still warm out too,  but not as hot as it was in the 
afternoon. My Saskatoon bushes are about to burst into
bloom any day now, and the raspberries are showing tiny 
green leaflets, reminding me to cut the old shoots and 
restring the hay wire to bring in the new shoots, that
decided to shoot up outside the  wire. As soon as I find
my garden snips, or when the UFOs that borrowed them, 
bring them back, I'll do that. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Ohio woman charged with livestreaming rape of teen friend
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 20, in
1879 First Winnebago (horse drawn) was used in a journey 
 from London to Cyprus. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________

You do ill if you praise,
but worse if you censure,
what you do not understand.
--- Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Keep in mind that in Australia this is the hot season.
The weather was very hot, so this preacher wanted
desperately to take a dive in the nearby lake. He didn't
bring his swimming outfit, but who cared? He was all alone.

So, he undressed and got into the water. After some
delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies
walked onto the shore in his direction.

He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket,
which lay on the sandy beach. He held the bucket in front of
his private parts and sighed with relief.

The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and
wanted to move.

Then one of the ladies said, "You know, I have a special
gift, I can read minds."

"Impossible," said the embarrassed preacher,
"You really know what I'm thinking?"

"Yes," the lady replied, "I know that you think that the
bucket you're holding in front of you has a bottom in it."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

"Flight 1234," the control tower advised,
"turn right 45 degrees for noise abatement, RIGHT NOW!."

"Roger," the pilot responded, "but we're at 35,000 feet.
How much noise can we make up here?"

"Sir," the radar man replied, "have you ever heard the
noise you get when a 727 gooses a 747?"

______________________________________________________

A couple went out for a romantic dinner for Valentines Day.
Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and
leave it waiting.

When they got home, they saw that the dining room table
was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and
there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the
refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead
and do something we wouldn't do!"

"Something that THEY would not do.....", the husband mused,
"I suppose, we could clean the house."

______________________________________________________

My neighbor's Mt Rainier Cherries bloomed today. The bees 
were having a feast. There are no flowers yet, not even
dandylions. 



______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Marina Lonina,
18,
Franklin County,
Ohio
Ohio woman charged with livestreaming rape of teen friend

A 17-year-old was raped by a man with whom she had been
drinking and her 18-year-old female friend livestreamed the
attack on the social media app Periscope, a prosecutor
said Wednesday in announcing a rape and kidnapping
indictment.

Authorities learned of the assault when an out-of-state
friend of the accused woman saw the images, Franklin County
Prosecutor Ron O'Brien said.

Marina Lonina and Raymond Gates, 29, were charged with
rape, kidnapping, sexual battery and pandering sexual
matter involving a minor. The rape charge involved
intercourse by force and was not related to the 17-year-
old's age, O'Brien said. Lonina was also charged with
illegal use of a minor in a nudity-oriented material or
performance.

Lonina and the victim were socializing with Gates at a home
in Columbus on Feb. 27 when Gates raped the 17-year-old,
O'Brien said.

Lonina had also livestreamed pictures of the girl in the
nude the night before at Lonina's house, he said.

Lonina "categorically denies these charges," said her
attorney Josh Bedtelyon.

Gates is scheduled for arraignment Friday. Court records
don't list an attorney for him who could comment on the
charges.

They each face up to 40 years in prison, if convicted.

O'Brien said the motive for the livestreaming was unclear,
but he said alcohol was a factor. Gates, Lonina and the
victim had all been drinking, he said.

"People need to know and understand that the use of a
smartphone to video events can constitute serious felony
crimes," O'Brien said. "They should think twice before they
use their smartphones to either photograph or video
anything that's of a sexual nature."
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Ginger
RE: What happened to Internet Explorer on W10?
Dear Webby
What happened to my Internet Explorer?
While I was busy using Chrome, it seems to have been 
replaced by Microsoft Edge.
Is it okay to download another copy of Internet Explorer or 
would that mess things up with this Windows 10 ?? 
 Help!
 Ginger

Dear Ginger
Stick with Chrome.
It is much more secure than Internet Explorer, and can do
everything it can do.

Even Microsoft agreed that Internet Explorer is to be
retired and forgotten, so they came up with Edge.

You CAN use Internet Explorer on W10, but keep in mind, it
is not very secure and might attract bad stuff. Just use
Chrome and  Edge.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


They gave a hoot.
"Each evening birdlover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting
like an owl -  and one night, an owl called back to him.

For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back
and forth.  He even kept a log of the "conversation."

Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough
in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her
next door neighbor.

"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she
said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied.  "So does my husband."

Then it dawned on them.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ajax for Water Spots

By ajbblondie1210 [1 Post]
My brother parks his car on the street and every night
the sprinklers go on. When he wakes up in the morning, he
has water spots on the right side of his car. He tried
washing his car but the spots would not come off. He also
tried Windex, white vinegar, brake cleaner, anything you
could think of!
Then my mom said, "Hey, try this Ajax!" With a little bit
of water, the spots came right off! So the trick is AJAX!
Hope this helps.


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both
of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.
"I'll admit I'm wrong," the wife told her husband in a con-
ciliatory attempt, "if you'll admit I'm right."

He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.

"I'm wrong," she said.

The last thing he remembers is saying: "You're right!"

___________________________________________________

Piano Juggler

____________________________________________________

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one
morning  I was taking my shower  when I heard my wife call
out to me from the  kitchen. "The garbage disposal is dead. 
Come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the
shower "You can reset it yourself!"

"I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and
sucks me in?"  (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a
statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without
consequence.

I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the
button. That is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, without respect to my
circumstances.

Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing
metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the
dangling objects she spied between my legs. She had been
poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait
under the sink.

At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt
at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her
needle-like kitten claws.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight"
syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight"
option. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the
impact knocked me out cold.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out
of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk.
"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

If they had only known.
__________________________________________________

Mike's parents have four children.
Their names are Penny, Dime and Quarter.
What is the fourth child's name?

____________________________________________________



Nope, nope, nope, nope!  Driving on these roads can be hazardous to your health!





Today on April 20
1139 The Second Lateran Council opened in Rome. 
1534 Jacques Cartier, a French explorer, set sail from 
 St. Malo to explore the North American coastline. 
1653 In England, Oliver Cromwell expelled the Long Parliament 
 for trying to pass the Perpetuation Bill that would have 
 kept Parliament in the hands of only a few members. 
1769 Ottawa Chief Pontiac was murdered by an Illinois 
 Indian in Cahokia. 
1775 American troops began the siege of British-held Boston. 
1792 France declared war on Austria, Prussia, and Sardinia. 
 It was the start of the French Revolutionary wars. 
1809 Napoleon defeated Austria at Battle of Abensberg, 
 Bavaria. 
1832 Hot Springs National Park was established by an act 
 of the U.S. Congress.
1841 In Philadelphia, PA, Edgar Allen Poe's first detective 
 story, "The Murders in the Rue Morgue," was published
1861 Robert E. Lee resigned from U.S. Army. 
1865 Safety matches were first advertised. 
1879 First mobile home (horse drawn) was used in a journey 
 from London to Cyprus. 
1902 Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the 
 radioactive element radium. 
1916 Sir Roger Casement landed in Ireland to incite rebellion 
 against the British. Casement, a British diplomat, was 
 captured within hours and was hanged for high treason 
 on August 3. 
1919 The Polish Army captured Vilno, Lithuania from the Soviets. 
1940 The First electron microscope was demonstrated by RCA. 
1942 Pierre Laval, the premier of Vichy France, in a radio 
 broadcast, establishes a policy of "true reconciliation 
 with Germany." 
1945 Soviet troops began their attack on Berlin. 
1945 During World War II, Allied forces took control of the 
 German cities of Nuremberg and Stuttgart. 
1951 General MacArthur addressed the joint session of Congress 
 after being relieved by U.S. President Truman. 
1953 Operation Little Switch began in Korea. It was the 
 exchange of sick and wounded prisoners of war. Thirty 
 Americans were freed. 
1953 The Boston marathon was won by Keizo Yamada with a record 
 time of 2:18:51. 
1961 FM stereo broadcasting was approved by the FCC. 
1962 The New Orleans Citizens' Council offered a free one-way 
 ride for blacks to move to northern states. 
1967 U.S. planes bombed Haiphong for first time during the 
 Vietnam War. 
1972 The manned lunar module from Apollo 16 landed on the moon. 
1981 A spokesman for the U.S. Navy announced that the U.S. was 
 accepting full responsibility for the sinking of the Nissho 
 Maru on April 9. 
1984 Britain announced that its administration of Hong Kong 
 would cease in 1997. 
1987 In Argentina, President Raul Alfonsin quelled a military revolt. 
1988 The U.S. Air Forces' Stealth (B-2) bomber was officially unveiled. 
1989 Scientist announced the successful testing of high-definition TV. 
1992 The worlds largest fair, Expo '92, opened in Seville, Spain. 
1998 Kenyan runner Moses Tanui, 32, won the Boston Marathon for the 
second time. He also registered the third fastest time with 2 hours 
7 minutes and 34 seconds. 


2016  smiled.

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---

How to copy and print pictures from the newsletters 

Tuesday, April 19, 2016, 07:35 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Georgia man charged with assaulting pregnant
 wife, cruelty to children
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 19, in
1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor 
 and sank the Spanish fleet. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you have trouble getting your children's attention,
just sit down and look comfortable.
--- Socratex
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben
slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his
8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine
in search of his ball.

Ben searches diligently throughout the thick underbrush
and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer,
he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in
the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Ben excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: "Hey
Thomas, come here, I got big trouble down here."

Thomas comes running over to the edge of the ravine and
calls out: "What's the matter Ben?"

Ben shouts back in a nervous voice: "Throw me my 7-iron!
Looks like you can't get out of here with an 8-iron."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so
naughty during the week, that her mother decided to give
her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she
couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.

When the day came, her mother felt she had been too
harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little
girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was
one of gloom and unhappiness.

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to
the picnic." her mother said.

"It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already
prayed for rain!"

______________________________________________________

A physician presented his bill to the attorney
representing a deceased person's estate.  Each of them
knew the other, having tangled quite a few times in
court, where the doctor was often called as an "expert
witness."

The Doctor asked the lawyer if he wanted the bill sworn
to.

"No," replied the lawyer, "the death of my client is suf-
ficient evidence that you attended him professionally."

"Be that as it may," replied the doctor, "the fact that
you handled his affairs is probably why he couldn't
afford to pay this bill on time in the first place."

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Ryan Paquette,
35,
Appling, 
Georgia.
Georgia man charged with assaulting pregnant
 wife, cruelty to children

A Columbia County man turned himself into the Columbia
County Sheriff’s Office Sunday afternoon for allegedly
abusing his wife.

Ryan Paquette, 35, of Appling, allegedly abused his wife
for more than a decade, with the latest incident
happening on Saturday.

Four of the couple’s children were home at the time and
the alleged victim is also pregnant.

According to an incident report, Ryan Paquette’s wife
claims he beat her after he complained she purchased the
wrong kind of bread on a sub sandwich she picked up at
the grocery store.

Paquette is charged with Battery and Cruelty to Children
in the Third Degree.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Ron
RE: Copy pictures from Humor Letter
Dear Webby
I would like to copy some of the cool pictures you
put in your Humor Letter but can't figure out how to 
print just the pic. without the rest of the letter. 
When I right click I get a box with "copy" in it 
but it don't work. Can you help? 
tx.
Ron

Dear Ron
The COPY IMAGE command just copies the picture into the
clipboard memory.

Open a graphics program. ANY graphics program, even
Windows PAINT will do. When you have it open, Hold CTRL 
and hit V. That pastes it into the Graphics program.
Then you can print the picture with CTRL P.

You can also crop the picture to use only a part of it,
or edit it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


A group of women were talking together.  One woman
said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40
on a Sunday." 

Another said,  "That's nothing.  Sometimes our
congregation is down to six or seven."

A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "It's so
bad in our church now on Sundays that when the minister
says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Ajax for Water Spots

By ajbblondie1210 [1 Post]
My brother parks his car on the street and every night
the sprinklers go on. When he wakes up in the morning, he
has water spots on the right side of his car. He tried
washing his car but the spots would not come off. He also
tried Windex, white vinegar, brake cleaner, anything you
could think of!
Then my mom said, "Hey, try this Ajax!" With a little bit
of water, the spots came right off! So the trick is AJAX!
Hope this helps.


______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car; both
ladies could barely see over the dashboard.

As they were cruising along they came to an intersection.
The stoplight was red but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself,
"I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went
through a red light."

After a few more minutes they came to another
intersection and the light was again red, and again they
went right through.

This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure
that the light had been red but was really concerned
that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and
decided to pay very close attention at the next
intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was
definitely red and they went right through. At this point
she turned to her friend and said, "Mildred!  Do you know
we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could
get killed us!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Holy Moly!  Am I
driving?"
___________________________________________________

world class skier

____________________________________________________

>From Linda
Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic,
but one of them is paranoid
and the other one is out to get her.

__________________________________________________

Woman cleaning fish at sink to angler husband: 
"Why can't you be like the rest of the men? 
They never catch anything."

"I can't afford that much beer."

____________________________________________________



Blue is my favorite color!





Today on April 19
1012 Aelfheah was murdered by Danes who had been ravaging 
 the south of England. Aelfhear became the 29th Archbishop 
 of Canterbury in 1005. 
1539 Emperor Charles V reached a truce with German 
 Protestants at Frankfurt, Germany. 
1587 English admiral Sir Francis Drake entered Cadiz harbor 
 and sank the Spanish fleet. 
1689 Residents of Boston ousted their governor, Edmond Andros. 
1713 Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI issued the Pragmatic Sanction, 
 which gave women the rights of succession to Hapsburg possessions. 
1764 The English Parliament banned the American colonies from 
 printing paper money. 
1770 Captain James Cook discovered New South Wales, Australia. 
 Cook originally named the land Point Hicks. 
1775 The American Revolution began as fighting broke out at 
 Lexington, MA. 
1782 The Netherlands recognized the new United States. 
1794 Tadeusz Kosciuszko forced the Russians out of Warsaw. 
1802 The Spanish reopened the New Orleans port to American 
 merchants. 
1861 Thaddeus S. C. Lowe sailed 900 miles in nine hours in 
 a hot air balloon from Cincinnati, OH, to Unionville, SC. 
1861 The Baltimore riots resulted in four Union soldiers and 
 nine civilians killed. 
1861 U.S. President Lincoln ordered a blockade of 
 Confederate ports. 
1892 The Duryea gasoline buggy was introduced in the U.S. 
 by Charles and Frank Duryea. 
1897 The first annual Boston Marathon was held. It was the 
 first of its type in the U.S. 
1927 In China, Hankow communists declared war on 
 Chaing Kai-shek. 
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt issued a proclamation 
 that removed the U.S. from the gold standard. 
1938 General Francisco Franco declared victory in the Spanish 
 Civil War. 
1943 The Warsaw Ghetto uprising against Nazi rule began. The 
 Jews were able to fight off the Germans for 28 days. 
1951 General Douglas MacArthur gave his "Old Soldiers" speech 
 before the U.S. Congress. In the address General MacArthur 
 said that "Old soldiers never die, they just fade away." 
1951 Shigeki Tanaka won the Boston Marathon. Tanaka had 
 survived the atomic blast at Hiroshima, Japan during WWII. 
1956 Actress Grace Kelly became Princess Grace of Monaco 
 when she married Prince Rainier III of Monaco. The civil 
 ceremony took place on April 18. 
1967 Surveyor 3 landed on the moon and began sending photos 
 back to the U.S. 
1971 Russia launched the Salyut into orbit around Earth. 
 It was the first space station. 
1975 India launched its first satellite with aid from the USSR. 
1981 In Davao, Philippines, thirteen people were killed when 
 members of the New People's Army threw hand grenades into 
 the Roman Catholic cathedral during Easter services. 
1982 The U.S. announced a ban on U.S. tourist and business 
 traval to Cuba. The U.S. charged the Cuban government with 
 subversion in Central America. 
1987 In Phoenix, AZ, skydiver Gregory Robertson went into a 
 200-mph free-fall to save an unconscious colleague 3,500 
 feet from the ground. 
1987 The last California condor known to be in the wild was 
 captured and placed in a breeding program at the San Diego 
 Wild Animal Park.
1989 A gun turret exploded aboard the USS Iowa. 47 sailors 
 were killed. 
1989 A giant asteroid passed within 500,000 miles of Earth. 
1993 The Branch-Davidian’s compound in Waco, TX, burned to 
 the ground. It was the end of a 51-day standoff between 
 the cult and U.S. federal agents. 86 people were killed 
 including 17 children. Nine of the Branch Davidians escaped 
 the fire. 
1994 A Los Angeles jury awarded $3.8 million to Rodney King 
 for violation of his civil rights. 
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, OK, 
 was destroyed by a bomb. It was the worst bombing on U.S. 
 territory. 168 people were killed including 19 children, 
 and 500 were injured. Timothy McVeigh was found guilty of 
 the bombing on June 2, 1997. 
1998 Wang Dan, a leader of 1989 Tienanmen Square pro 
 democracy protests, was freed by the Chinese government. 
2000 In the Philippines, Air Philippines GAP 541 crashed 
 while preparing to land. 131 people were killed. 
2002 The USS Cole was relaunched. In Yemen, 17 sailors were 
 killed when the ship was attacked by terrorists on October 
 12, 2000. The attack was blamed on Osama bin Laden's 
 Al-Qaida network. 
2016  smiled.

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---

How to stop saving pictures in PNG format 

Monday, April 18, 2016, 10:35 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, April 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Mesa man arrested for bestiality and for 
exploiting minors
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 18, in
1521 Martin Luther confronted the emperor Charles V in the 
 Diet of Worms and refused to retract his views that led to 
 his excommunication. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.
--- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892) 

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
--- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.
-- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)

(or to belong to a sympathetic wife)

Where humor is concerned there are no standards -
no one can say what is good or bad,
although you can be sure that everyone will.
--John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced
amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to
start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the
local newspaper.

After reading through all the listings, I circled three that
seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off
calling them.

Two days later, there was a message on my answering
machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to
borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled
in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column.
That's my ad. and don't call the one in the fourth column.
That is my mother's ad."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

A golfer's drive lands on an anthill. Rather than move the ball,
he decides to hit it where it lies. He gives a mighty swing.
A cloud of dirt and sand and ants explodes from the end
of his club, but the golf ball remains in the same spot.

So he lines up and tries another shot. A cloud of dirt and
sand and ants goes flying again. The golf ball doesn't even
wiggle.

Two ants survive. One dazed ant says to the other,
"Whoa. What are we going to do?"

Says the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going
to get on the ball.

______________________________________________________

Sherry and Barbie got together on a regular basis, and they
usually discussed families or local gossip. One day they
decided to change things a bit, and discuss important
political issues; the Middle East, Afghanistan, North Korea, etc.

Barbie said, "But what about Red China?"

Sherry responded, "Fantastic... it looks especially good
on a white tablecloth!"

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Aaron Thomas Usery,
21,
Mesa,
Arizona
Mesa man arrested for bestiality, 
exploiting minors

Mesa police arrested a 21-year-old man Tuesday after
investigators said he was involved in a sexual relationship
with a pair of 12-year-old Kansas girls and had engaged in
sexual activity with a dog, according to court records.

Police said Aaron Thomas Usery was arrested on suspicion of
sexual exploitation of a minor and bestiality after police
found messages and videos on his computer and phone.

Police said Usery met the girls on an art-sharing website
and went by the name "Zel the Wolf," documents reported.

The relationship started in September 2014 and ended in
February 2015, according to court records.

Mesa police said investigators from Overland Park, Kansas,
reported the relationship after the mother of one of the
girls told police about the relationship.

Investigators found nude pictures and videos on both Usery's
and the girls' phones, including a video of Usery engaging
in bestiality with the family dog, according to court
records.

According to reports, the relationship started friendly then
gradually turned sexual as Usery and the girls used Skype
and Google Hangouts to keep in touch.

In the messages, police said Usery admitted that he knew the
relationship was wrong but that he continued doing it.

Usery was being held on a $25,000 bond and is scheduled to
appear at Maricopa County Superior Court on April 20.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Kay
RE: Computer saves pictures in PNG format
Dear Webby
I would like to thank you for all of your previous help. 
I have a question about saving pictures that are sent to
me in my email.
Always before when I would save a picture it would save it
as a jpg, now when I save a picture it saves it as a PNG
(*.png)Â even though it shows the picture as a jpg.
Thank you for such a great newsletter and all the help and
advice on computer questions.
Kay

Dear Kay
Most graphics programs let you save in a great variety of
formats, including PNG.
PNG is actually a much better format than JPG, because it
does not degrade the picture every time you save it.

Usually, whatever format you save something in, is the
default format from then on. 
If you prefer to save pictures in JPG, select that.
Usually you can select that in the second line, below the
file name line.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


A young lady died and went to heaven.  St. Peter met her
at the gate.

He told her, "In order to enter here you must tell me the
name of the Lord."

The young lady wrinkled her brow and said, "Oh, I do know
it, just a minute, let me think. Um -- um -- oh yes, it's
Andy!!"

St. Peter said, "Andy?  ANDY?  Where did you ever get
THAT name?"

"Well, you know, it's in that song -- we sang it all the
time in church!" she said defensively.  Then she proceeded
to sing the song, 
"Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me ..."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Spice Jar Labels

By Amanda Cope [3 Posts, 19 Comments]
I have accumulated about 40 spice jars and want to have
them displayed on my counter on one of those 3 tier
expandable shelves. I want to label them, but my Dymo
labels don't stick very well. They do fine on everything
else. Any suggestions?
Acope


You can wash your spice jars in hot dish water. They all
have tight fitting caps. If they haven't been washed for
twenty years, they will need a bit more effort, but they
will come just as clean as your wine glasses. Then
anything will stick properly. However, Dymo labels look
rather tacky in the kitchen and heat will make them curl
up.

2" x 3/4" Avery return address labels look the best, but
they have tons of different sizes. To make them washable,
spray them with spray varnish after you stick them onto
the jars. 

Since you will need just one sheet of labels, you can give
sheets to friends and relatives, and for some even print
the labels for them for Christmas.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

 A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult
 while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

___________________________________________________

moose fighting in the neighborhood

____________________________________________________

Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup,
and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should
know about.

That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he
found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just
sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went
to get ready for a wedding recently.

The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there.
You probably just put on a few pounds."

"That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single
pound since the last time I wore it."

"Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of
Furniture Disease."

"What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked.

"Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in
life when your chest starts slidin' down into your
drawers."

__________________________________________________

>From Donna
Every year or so somebody asks you to bring again that
one about some guy trying to spell the name of an 
insurance company to a phone operator. This year, it's me.
Can you please bring it again?
Thanks
Donna

Here it is:
"Information? I need the number of the
Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as
in eye.  W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."

____________________________________________________



The oldest hotel in the world that was built in 705 AD.  It has been owned and operated by the same family for 52 generations, 1,311 years!


Power of puppies




Today on April 18
1521 Martin Luther confronted the emperor Charles V in the 
 Diet of Worms and refused to retract his views that led to 
 his excommunication. 
1676 Sudbury, Massachusetts, was attacked by Indians. 
1818 A regiment of Indians and blacks were defeated at the 
 Battle of Suwann, in Florida, ending the first Seminole War. 
1846 The telegraph ticker was patented by R.E. House 
1847 U.S. troops defeated almost 17,000 Mexican soldiers 
 commanded by Santa Anna at Cerro Gordo. (Mexican-American War) 
1853 The first train in Asia began running from Bombay to Tanna. 
1877 Charles Cros wrote a paper that described the process of 
 recording and reproducing sound. In France, Cros is regarded 
 as the inventor of the phonograph. In the U.S., Thomas Edison 
 gets the credit. 
1895 New York State passed an act that established free 
 public baths. 
1906 San Francisco, CA, was hit with an earthquake. The 
 original death toll was cited at about 700. Later information 
 indicated that the death toll may have been 3 to 4 times 
 the original estimate. 
1910 Walter R. Brookins made the first airplane flight at night. 
1934 The first Laundromat opened in Fort Worth, TX. 
1937 Leon Trotsky called for the overthrow of Soviet leader 
 Josef Stalin. 
1942 James H. Doolittle and his squadron, from the USS Hornet, 
 raided Tokyo and other Japanese cities. 
1942 The Vichy government capitulated to Adolf Hitler and 
 invited Pierre Laval to form a new government in France. 
1943 Traveling in a bomber, Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, 
 was shot down by American P-38 fighters. 
1949 The Republic of Ireland was established. 
1950 The first transatlantic jet passenger trip was completed. 
1954 Colonel Gamal Abdel Nasser seized power in Egypt. 
1956 Actress Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier of Monaco were married. 
 The religious ceremony took place April 19. 
1960 The Mutual Broadcasting System was sold to the 3M Company of 
 Minnesota for $1.25 million. 
1978 The U.S. Senate approved the transfer of the Panama Canal to 
 Panama on December 31, 1999. 
1983 The U.S. Embassy in Beirut was blown up by a suicide car-bomber. 
 63 people were killed including 17 Americans. 
1984 Daredevils Mike MacCarthy and Amanda Tucker made a sky dive 
 from the Eiffel Tower. The jump ended safely. 
1985 Ted Turner filed for a hostile takeover of CBS. 
1989 Thousands of Chinese students demanding democracy tried to 
 storm Communist Party headquarters in Beijing. 
1999 Wayne Gretzky (New York Rangers) played his final game 
 in the NHL. He retired as the NHL's all-time leading scorer 
 and holder of 61 individual records. 
2002 Actor Robert Blake and his bodyguard were arrested in 
 connection with the shooting death of Blake's wife about 
 a year before. 
2002 The Amtrack Auto Train derailed in a remote area of 
 north Florida. Four people were killed and 133 were injured. 
2002 The city legislature of Berlin decided to make Marlene 
 Dietrich an honorary citizen. Dietrich had gone to the United 
 States in 1930. She refused to return to Germany after 
 Adolf Hitler came to power. 
2016  smiled.

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---

Cheap computer desk 

Sunday, April 17, 2016, 07:09 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, April 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Wisconsin English Teacher Charged With 
Sexual Assault of a Student
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 17, in
1421 Dikes at Dort Holland break, 100,000 drown
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as 
when they do it from a religious conviction.
--- Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

God is a comedian
playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
--- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when
he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The
date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven
years old.

They both laughed and tried to remember which of them
might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a
decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold
asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said.

"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He
went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the
store.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind
the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said,
"Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."

He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"
The man came back to the counter, empty-handed.
"They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed
of working since a young boy.  He was trying to impress
the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Sub School.

The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen,
'sir', it's real simple: If the hatch or a door drips,
don't open it."

______________________________________________________

Bill's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it.
When they were over for a weekend visit, she came into
the front room where my office is.  I guess I stared at
her funny because she said, "I just set my hair."

The last thing I remember saying was,
"Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Sara Domres,
29,
New Berlin,
Wisconsin
Wisconsin English Teacher Charged With 
Sexual Assault of a Student

A Wisconsin high school teacher is facing charges of
sexual assault following an alleged sexual relationship
with a student, including on the night of her husband's
bachelor's party.

Sara Domres, a 29-year-old former teacher at the New
Berlin West High School, was charged last week for sexual
assault of a student by school staff following an alleged
relationship with a 16-year-old lasting approximately ten
months.

According to the criminal complaint, the sophomore was in
Domres' English class, where they became fast friends, and
texted each other frequently, the police report stated.

During their relationship, lasting between April 2015 and
January 2016, they reportedly exchanged over 1,100
messages. One of the many text messages said, "I love
being your baby boo. (heart emoji) run away with me!!! I
want you forever," according to the criminal complaint.

According to the police statement, the boy was allegedly
"a virgin prior to having sexual intercourse" with the
teacher.

One of the counts she is being charged with was for an
encounter in Domres' car in a park-and-ride lot in July,
according to the criminal complaint. The boy was 16 at the
time.

The other count she is being charged with responded to
their encounter in a Motel 6, where she had paid for a
single bed with cash, and it was discovered that the boy's
phone was connected to the WiFi on the same day,
authorities said.

According to police, a message was sent the night before:
"You're extremely attractive to me!!! I can't wait for our
night we are doing it no matter what!!!"

However, the boy as well as witnesses reportedly told the
police that the couple had sex more frequently than the
two instances. According to WISN, they even had sex on the
night of Domres' now-husband's bachelor party.

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported that Domres was
married in August, in the midst of her relationship with
the student.

The police report also said that the couple had passed
handwritten notes "of a sexual nature" to each other. One
of them allegedly read: "I want to do you (smiley face)
NOW!!"

According to a police report, three juveniles reported the
relationship on January 16.

Police later uncovered multiple Internet searches from the
student's phone from the previous day, the police report
stated. One was a Yahoo search for, "how to delete a sent
snapchat?" Another was a google search for "what evidence
does a judge need to charge a teacher with sexual
assault."

The school had reportedly discovered the relationship
sometime in January and she was immediately let go.

Read: Man Raped 17-Year-Old Girl While Her Friend Recorded
Attack on Periscope: Prosecutors

Domres was released on $1,000 bail following the arrest,
on the condition that she has "no contact with
victim/witness/and family members, New Berlin West High
School, students or staff listed in the Criminal
Complaint," the Wisconsin Circuit Court noted on their
website.

She has pleaded not guilty to the charges, and her next
hearing is on May 4.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Maria
RE: Cheap computer desk
Dear Webby
I need a computer desk but they all cost way more than
my budget allows. Do you have any ideas that might help
me?
Thanks
Maria

Get some bedside nightstands at a second hand store,
preferably the type that has a bunch of drawers.
Then get an interior door and cut it to fit into the space
you have. They are usually hollow and easy to cut.
Put that door over your nightstands and your desk is
finished.

Use it like that for a week or more until you have
adjusted and shuffled everything just right before you
glue anything down. However, normally the weight of the
monitor will hold everything quite nicely and gluing won't
be necessary. 

Use the door with the hole for the lock towards the wall
or away from you. It is perfect to bing up power and phone
cords.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


Heard on a  United Express flight during the exit announcement:
"Please remove all personal items from the aircraft. Any 
items left on board can be found at my yard sale next 
Sunday."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Quick Vetkoek

By Benetta [226 Posts, 121 Comments]

Vetkoek (fried dough bread) is another well-loved part of
our South African food heritage. Whenever we have church
bazaars, you can bet your bottom dollar that vetkoek will
be sold at one of the food stalls. It can be served with
savory mince, or cheese and honey, or cheese and jam.

When I was forced to go gluten-free (due to health
concerns), it was one of the first recipes that I played
around with until I managed to come up with a good gluten-
free version. Here goes...
Approximate Time: 20 minutes
Yield: 6-7 vetkoek, depending on the size
Ingredients:
1 cup Health Connection gluten free self-raising cake
flour
1/2 cup soda water (carbonated water)
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg
cooking oil
Steps:
Sift together the flour and salt.
Add the egg and soda water. Mix all the ingredients
together to get a smooth batter.

Add enough oil to a pan so that the oil will measure 1cm
up the side of the pan. Place over medium-high heat and
heat the oil.
Drop spoonfuls of batter in the warm oil and fry until
golden brown on both sides.

Allow to cool down a bit, before serving with mince, or
with butter, cheese and honey.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

How often have we heard that television watching can be
detrimental?
A pastor carried that message one Sunday morning in an
impassioned sermon on the evils of TV.
"It steals away precious time that could be better spent
on other, more worthwhile things," he said.

He advised the congregation to do what he and his family
had done. "We put our TV away in the closet."

"That's right," his wife muttered to the woman next to
her, "and it gets awfully crowded in there!"

___________________________________________________

the double date

____________________________________________________

If garbage workers in your community ever go out on
strike, you might like to know how a wise New Yorker
disposed of his refuse for several days when sanitation
workers were on strike.

Each day he wrapped his garbage in gift paper. Then
he put it in a shopping bag. When he parked his car,
he left the bag on the front seat with the window open.
When he got back to the car, the garbage had always
been collected.

__________________________________________________

Martin was known among his friends for the punctuality
with which he sent his ex-wife her alimony payment each
month. When asked the reason for his haste, he shivered
and explained:

"I'm afraid that if I should ever fall behind in my
payments, she might decide to repossess me."

____________________________________________________



What amazing strength and ability.


Power of puppies




Today on April 17
1421 Dikes at Dort Holland break, 100,000 drown
1492 Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to 
 find a passage to Asia and the Indies.
1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated.
1524 New York Harbor was discovered by Giovanni Verrazano.
1629 Horses were first imported into the colonies by the 
 American Massachusetts Bay Colony.
1808 Bayonne Decree by Napoleon I of France ordered 
 the seizure of U.S. ships.
1810 Pineapple cheese was patented by Lewis M. Norton.
1824 Russia abandoned all North American claims south of 54' 40'.
1860 New Yorkers learned of a new law that required fire 
 escapes to be provided for tenement houses.
1895 China and Japan signed the Treaty of Shimonoseki. 
 It was the end of the first Sino-Japanese War. In the 
 treaty China ceded Taiwan to Japan.
1941 Igor Sikorsky accomplished the first successful 
 helicopter lift-off from water near Stratford, CT.
1946 The last French troops left Syria.
1961 About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba 
 at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. 
 It was an unsuccessful attack.
1964 Jerrie Mock became first woman to fly an airplane 
 solo around the world.
1964 The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model.
1975 Khmer Rouge forces capture the capital of Cambodia, 
 Phnom Penh. It was the end of the five-year war.
1983 In Warsaw, police routed 1,000 Solidarity supporters.
1985 In Lebanon, the cabinet resigned as Shiites took W. Beirut.
1987 In Sri Lanka, Tamil guerrillas killed 122 people 
 in a road ambush.
1989 In Poland, courts gave Solidarity legal status.
1993 A federal jury in Los Angeles convicted two former police
 officers of violating the civil rights of beaten motorist 
 Rodney King. Two other officers were acquitted.
1996 Erik and Lyle Menendez were sentenced to life in prison 
 without parole for killing their parents.
2016  smiled.

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---

Obnoxious program on new laptop 

Saturday, April 16, 2016, 08:16 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, April 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Ohio "Fun Mom" Charged With Her 16-Year-Old Son's 
Heroin Overdose Death. His grandmother has been charged 
as well. 
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 16, in
1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution 
in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with 
Britain. Canada was already metric since 1970 and not 
using the British Imperial units of measurement anymore.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
"Women and cats will do as they please, 
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
---  Robert Heinlein

If computers get too powerful,
we can organize them into a committee --
that will do them in.
--- Bradley's Bromide
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
3 Cajuns and 3 Texans are taking a train to attend a
conference. At the station, each Texan buys a ticket,
but they notice that only one Cajun buys a ticket.

"Don't you-all need tickets?" they ask.

"Mais Non," reply the Cajuns, "one is more dan enough,
boo."

Once they board the train, the Texans take their seats
and notice that all 3 Cajuns cram themselves into a
toilet.
As the conductor passes through the car, he knocks on the
toilet door and says, "Ticket, please."

The door cracks ever so slightly, a hand passes out a
ticket,
and then the door quickly closes.

"Ahhh... very clever" think the Texans.

After the conference, the 3 Cajuns and the 3 Texans are
again
at the train station for the return trip. Since the Texans
are now so 'money-wise', they smirk as they only purchase
one ticket...
but then they notice that the Cajuns don't buy a ticket at
all.

"How will you-all get back without even a single ticket?"
they ask.

"Mais, we don need dat, us on de back trip!" say the
Cajuns.

Once they board the train, the 3 Texans cram themselves
into
the largest toilet (naturally), and the 3 Cajuns ease into
another toilet. As the train begins to move away from the
station, one of the Cajuns leaves the toilet and knocks on
the door of the Texans' toilet and yells, "Ticket Please."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

A college student with a young child was pleased when her
daughter became eligible to attend the day care center at
the University. The director of the day care gave the
mother a tour of the facilities. To assure herself of the
center's high standards, the young mother asked about the
curriculum.

"Well," said the director, eyes twinkling, "today we are
studying the children's favorite philosopher: Play-Doh."

______________________________________________________

A doctor told Mrs. McMurphy to give her husband one
pill a day and one drink of whiskey to improve his
stamina.  A month later, when Mrs. McMurphy came in
for another visit, the doctor asked,
"How are we doing with the pill and the whiskey?"

Mrs. McMurphy answered, "Well, he's a little behind
with the pills,
but he's about six years ahead with the whiskey."

______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Heather Frye, 31, 
Brenda Frye, 52
Green,
Ohio
"Fun Mom" Charged With Her 16-Year-Old Son's 
Heroin Overdose Death. His grandmother has been charged too.

Heather Frye, 31, and her mother Brenda, 52, are charged
with the involuntary manslaughter of Heather's biological
son Andrew's death as well as corrupting another with
drugs, child endangering, and tampering with evidence, the
Akron Beacon Journal reports. The 16-year-old was found
facedown dead in a Green, Ohio, Super 8 motel room after
partying with the two women.

According to the Washington Post, Heather and Brenda were
also high on heroin and fentanyl when Andrew died, and it
appears they "had a hand in obtaining and disseminating
heroin among themselves" at the motel party, Summit County
Sheriff Steve Barry said. Two of the women's friends were
also partying with them. Andrew was pronounced dead on the
scene, and investigators found drug paraphernalia and
syringes in the motel room.

After she was arrested, Heather told police she wanted to
be Andrew's "fun weekend mom," the Cleveland Plain Dealer
reports. Heather had not had custody of Andrew since he was
6 months old when she gave him up for adoption to his
great-aunt Tammy Smith. When Smith's fiancé died in 2010,
Andrew had a hard time coping, Tammy said. He then began
seeking out his biological mother's company.

Heather, who was in prison three times between 2007 and
2014 for drug-related charges, would visit a few times a
year, but "never in a million years did we think she would
get him into heroin," Tammy's daughter Julie Andrea said.
"We think the only reason he did it was to get her
approval." She reportedly told Andrew to shoot up in the
bathroom of the motel room because she didn't like watching
him use drugs.

Should they be convicted, Heather and Brenda face up to 11
years in prison.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Donna
RE: Obnoxious program on new laptop
Dear Webby
OK,so I bit the bullet and bought a new laptop, which of
course came with Windoze 10.  I'm managing fine with
Windoze 10 Pro on my desktop, but the laptop came with
Windoze 10 home (no big difference) so of course upon it's
arrival I powered it up and started unstalling the JUNK I
didn't want on it. 

There's one program I cannot seem to get rid of, every time
I try and uninstall it is says it cannot uninstall it
because it's running. 

If I alt/ctl/delete and bring up Task Manager, it does NOT
show.  It's called KNCTR and is some dumb phone program and
says "click here to activate your free phone.

I'm thinking of booting the laptop up in safe mode and
trying to delete it that way.  Any thoughts oh wise one?

Love,  Donna  :)

PS.  It is absolutely AMAZING what MalwareBytes finds on an
 clean, out of the box laptop. 

======================

I swear, just writing to you is magical. It was in the 
"load in startup" commands.  You are a true magician!   
Donna   

Dear Donna
I am glad that worked.

Your tip about checking the start-up commands will 
hopefully help others too!

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


An old man was a witness in a burglary case.
The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit
this burglary?"

"Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods."

The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are 
you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"

"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."

Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old 
and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see 
at night?"

Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that"?

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Storing Tomato Paste

By Sweezykay [7 Posts, 10 Comments]
What is the best way to store tomato paste for future use?

Frozen is best but not in the can. Fill ice cube trays with
left over tomato paste and freeze. Once frozen, remove from
the trays and store in a freezer bag for 2-3 months.

This trick works for pasta sauce too. Often just a cube 
works wonders for a stew that needs "something" to be
perfect.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young
father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step.  Are
you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied.  "My wife has made appetizers
and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and
cakes for all of our guests."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded.  "I mean, are you
prepared spiritually?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply.  "I've got a keg of beer and a
case of whiskey."

___________________________________________________

How did he DO this?

____________________________________________________

A father noticed that his son was spending way too much
time playing computer games.

In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more
attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son,
"When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by
the light of the fireplace."

The son replied, "Hmmm, if you had done that too, I would be
the son of the president and would have a much faster
computer!"

__________________________________________________

Insanity is hereditary.
You get it from your kids.

____________________________________________________



The Breathtaking Melissani Cave in Greece


Power of puppies




Today on April 16
0069 Otho committed suicide after being defeated by 
 Vitellius' troops at Bedriacum.
1065 The Norman Robert Guiscard took Bari. Five centuries 
 of Byzantine rule in southern Italy ended.
1705 Queen Anne of England knighted Isaac Newton.
1746 The Duke of Cumberland defeated Bonnie Prince Charlie 
 (and his Jacobites) at the battle of Culloden.
1818 The U.S. Senate ratified Rush-Bagot amendment to form 
 an unarmed U.S.-Canada border.
1854 San Salvador was destroyed by an earthquake.
1905 Andrew Carnegie donated $10,000,000 of personal money 
 to set up the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement 
 of Teaching.
1912 Harriet Quimby became the first woman to fly across 
 the English Channel.
1917 Vladimir Ilyich Lenin returned to Russia to start 
 Bolshevik Revolution after years of exile.
1922 Annie Oakley shot 100 clay targets in a row, to set 
 a women's record.
1942 The Island of Malta was awarded the George Cross in 
 recognition for heroism under constant German air attack.
1943 In Basel, Switzerland, chemist Albert Hoffman 
 accidently discovered the the hallucinogenic effects of 
 LSD-25 while working on the medicinal value of 
 lysergic acid.
1944 The destroyer USS Laffey survived immense damage from 
 attacks by 22 Japanese aircraft off Okinawa.
1947 The Zoomar lens, invented by Dr. Frank Back, was 
 demonstrated in New York City. It was the first lens 
 to exhibit zooming effects.
1947 In Texas City, TX, the French ship Grandcamp, carrying 
 ammonium nitrate fertilizer, caught fire and blew up. The 
 explosions and resulting fires killed 576 people.
1951 75 people were killed when the British submarine Affray 
 sank in the English Channel.
1968 The Pentagon announced that troops would begin coming 
 home from Vietnam. The Vietnam war became a defeat from home.
1972 Apollo 16 blasted off on a voyage to the moon. It was 
 the fifth manned moon landing.
1975 The Khmer Rouge Rebels won control of Cambodia after 
 five years of civil war. They renamed the country Kampuchea 
 and began a reign of terror.
1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution 
 in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain.
1983 China shelled the Vietnam border in retaliation for raids.
1983 Brazil detained four Libyan planes en route to Nicaragua 
 after finding weapons, explosives and ammunition on planes.
1987 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) sternly 
 warned U.S. radio stations to watch the use of indecent 
 language on the airwaves.
1987 The U.S. Patent Office began allowing the patenting of 
 new animals created by genetic engineering.
1992 The House ethics committee listed 303 current and former 
 lawmakers who had overdrawn their House bank accounts.
1995 The European Union and Canada agreed to protect 
 threatened fish stocks in the north Atlantic.
1996 An Italian court found former Prime Minister Bettino 
 Craxi guilty on charges of corruption. He was sentenced to 
 eight years and three months in prison.
1999 Wayne Gretzky announced his retirement from the 
 National Hockey League (NHL).
2002 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned major parts of a 1996 
 child pornography law based on rights to free speech.
2007 In Blacksburg, VA, a student killed 33 people at Virginia 
 Tech before killing himself. 

2016  smiled.

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---

Moving Eudora with all filters and settings to W8 

Friday, April 15, 2016, 09:45 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
NJ Woman, who set apartment on fire after 
learning her boyfriend is now gay. 
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 15, in
1989 In Sheffield, England, 96 people were killed and hundreds 
 were injured at a soccer game at Hillsborough Stadium when 
 a crowd surged into an overcrowded standing area. 
 Ninety-four  died on the day of the incident and two 
 more later died  from their injuries.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A good listener is not only popular everywhere,
but after a while he gets to know something.
--- Wilson Mizner

"A couple of months in the laboratory can save
a couple of hours in the library."
--- Westheimer's Discovery
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

My neighbor is engaged in a major custody battle.
His wife doesn't want him...
and his mother won't take him back.




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

"Why do the Irish always fight amongst themselves?"

"Everybody else is relatively sober by comparison"

______________________________________________________

Cindy said:  "I come from a wealthy divorced family.
My mom's wealthy, my dad's divorced."
______________________________________________________




______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Lakishette Williams, 
25,
Trenton, 
New Jersey
Woman sets apartment on fire after 
learning her boyfriend is now gay. 

A woman accused of starting fires in her apartment was
burning love letters from her boyfriend after she
discovered he was gay and cheating on her, the woman's
defense attorney said Friday.

Lakishette Williams, 25, appeared for a bail
reconsideration hearing Friday - four months after she was
charged with aggravated arson for the incident.

Police said at the time that they pulled Williams from her
apartment on North Gouverneur Avenue and found that she had
started fires in two rooms. 

Prosecutors said Friday that police found evidence of the
first fire on a stovetop in the kitchen where they
discovered remnants of charred paper on a burner.

After investigating the rest of the apartment, they found
broken glass and evidence of more burned papers in the
living room and an aerosol can nearby, prosecutors said.

They added that the building held other apartments,
including one that was occupied when Williams lit the
fires. Prosecutors believe Williams intended to damage the
building.

Caroline Turner, an attorney representing Williams, said
that the 25-year-old wasn't trying to light the apartment
on fire – she was just burning love letters from her
boyfriend.

Williams had recently discovered online that her boyfriend
was gay and in relationships with other men, Turner said.

Distraught over her failed relationship, the 25-year-old
mother of two decided to get rid of the love letters,
Turner said.

"She was devastated." 

______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: David
RE: Transfer Eudora to W8
Dear Webby
Thanks for the advice on the classic shell for windows 8.  
Now the next problem.  On my old machine in Eudora I have 
saved a number of emails and set up a number of filters.  
Is there any way to transfer this info to my new machine 
short of having to recreate each one individually?
Thanks again.
David L

Dear David
Yes, that part is easy. I have done that since Windows 3.1
If your machines are networked, copy the Eudora setup file
to the new machine and set it up. 
That puts it into the  registry.

Next drag the entire Eudora directory over to the new
machine.
Make a shortcut for Eudora.exe and drag it to the task bar
or the desktop.
That's all there is to it.

After that Eudora on the new machine will be identical to
how it was on the old one, including filters and 
preferences.

If you don't have the Eudora Setup file, come onto Skype.
My handle is, of course, dearwebby
Then I can slide you version 6.2.5.6 (paid mode)
That is the last good version, before they went to 7.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


On vacation a nine-year-old boy and his father were at the
pool, where two very attractive women wearing skimpy
bikinis were sunning themselves.

The father noticed that his son kept staring at the girls
and would occasionally glance back at him.  He was bracing
himself for questions his son might have when they got up
to leave. His son watched the girls very closely as they
left, then he turned to his father and said,
"Dad, can I take that candy bar those girls left behind?"


----------
Times sure have changed !  I would have waited till they
were out of sight of my father, then sprinted after them
with their candy bar, and I would have gotten a hug, maybe
even a kiss.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Easy Asian Soup
By Donna [321 Posts, 336 Comments]

A quick and delicious soup using left over chicken, pork, 
or beef. Much healthier, cheaper and better than any 
canned soup you can buy.

Approximate Time: 20 minutes
Yield: 4 servings
Ingredients:
1/2 onion, chopped
1 rib celery, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
small piece of fresh ginger, minced or sprinkle of 
dried ginger
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cup water
1 cup leftover chicken, pork or beef
1 Tbsp soy sauce
2 Tbsp lime juice

Steps:
Chop onion, celery and carrot. I use a Black and Decker 
mini chopper that I found in a free box at a garage sale 
and love it! Saves a lot of time and energy.
Cook vegetables in a heavy pot in olive oil until tender; 
about 3 minutes.

Add minced garlic and ginger to taste.

Add chicken broth and water. Bring to simmer.

Add cooked meat to mix and simmer for 10 minutes.
Stir in soy sauce and lime juice.
Optional: Add noodles or rice if desired. 
Enjoy!

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

At the company water cooler,  bragged about the 
children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, 
another was working in southern Italy, and the daughter was 
completing a year-long research project in India.

One co-worker's quip, however, stopped  short. 
"What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids
 want to get so far away from you?"

___________________________________________________

the piano player

____________________________________________________

The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so 
the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly 
at the richest may in town.  At the end of the message, the 
rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute 
$1,000." 

Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the 
rich man on the shoulder.

He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will 
increase my donation to $5,000." 

Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again 
and he screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."

He sat down and an even larger chunk of plaster fell, this 
time hitting him on the head.

He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give 
$20,000!"

This prompted a deacon to shout,
"Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"

__________________________________________________

British bus drivers always like stopping in the biggest 
puddle on the block, but this one seems to have gotten a 
bit carried away.


____________________________________________________



We celebrate the heroes of history, why do we not celebrate the heroines of which there are many? 


Power of puppies




Today on April 15
1784 The first balloon was flown in Ireland.
1813 U.S. troops under James Wilkinson attacked the Spanish
 held city of Mobile that would be in the future state of 
 Alabama.
1850 The city of San Francisco was incorporated.
1858 At the Battle of Azimghur, the Mexicans defeated 
 Spanish loyalists.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln mobilized the Federal army.
1871 "Wild Bill" Hickok became the marshal of Abilene, Kansas.
1892 The General Electric Company was organized.
1899 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Portland Cement Co
1912 The ocean liner Titanic sank in the North Atlantic 
 after hitting an iceberg the evening before. 1,517 people 
 died and more than 700 people survived.
1917 The British defeated the Germans at the battle of Arras.
1919 British troops killed 400 Indians at Amritsar, India.
1923 Insulin became generally available for people suffering 
 with diabetes.
1940 French and British troops landed at Narvik, Norway.
1948 The Arabs were defeated in the first Jewish-Arab battle.
1952 The first B-52 prototype was tested in the air.
1953 Charlie Chaplin surrendered his U.S. re-entry permit 
 rather than face proceedings by the U.S. Justice Department. 
 Chaplin was accused of sympathizing with Communist groups.
1959 Cuban leader Fidel Castro began a U.S. goodwill tour.
1983 Tokyo Disneyland opened.
1986 U.S. F-111 warplanes attacked Libya in response to the 
 bombing of a discotheque in Berlin on April 5, 1986.
1989 Students in Beijing launched a series of pro democracy 
 protests upon the death of former Communist Party leader 
 Hu Yaobang.
1989 In Sheffield, England, 96 people were killed and hundreds 
 were injured at a soccer game at Hillsborough Stadium when 
 a crowd surged into an overcrowded standing area. Ninety-four 
 died on the day of the incident and two more later died 
 from their injuries.
1994 The World Trade Organization was established.
1998 Pol Pot died at the age of 73. The leader of the Khmer 
 Rouge regime thereby evaded prosecution for the deaths of 
 2 million Cambodians.
1999 In Rawalpindi, Pakistan, a panel of two Lahore High Court 
 judges convicted former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto and 
 her husband, Asif Ali Zardari, of corruption.
2000 600 anti-IMF (International Monetary Fund) protesters 
 were arrested in Washington, DC, for demonstrating without 
 a permit. 
2016  smiled.

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---

BASH on Windows 

Thursday, April 14, 2016, 09:32 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 14

Daniel wrote that he uses the ridiculously expensive
aerosol cans, that cause brain damage and kill people,
in his work restroring old padlocks.

Tiny air compressors that produce up to 300 pounds 
per square inch compressed air for inflating tires
and come with all kinds of fittings, incuding a needle
tip for inflating balls, are $15 - $20. 
Just google for "small air compressors" and take your pick.
Find one sold locally, so that you don't have to pay 
shipping. For $15 - $20 once, you will never have to buy
dangerous cans again.

By the way, the easiest method to get cookie crumbs and dirt
out of keyboards is to lay some newspaper onto the floor, 
and slam the keyboard upside down onto the newspaper.
Do it a few times and teach it a lesson about all those 
typos!

After that just use a sponge moistened with  dish water or
window cleaner, and rub the still upside down keyboard.
Then slam it, still upside down, onto a towel on the floor.

After that is is like new and didn't cost you anything.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Drunk Pennsylvania guy, who made a fake DUI checkpoint, 
gets charged with DUI
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 14, in
1988 In New York, real estate tycoons Harry and Leona 
 Helmsley were indicted for income tax evasion.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
--- Will Rogers
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but
didn't quite make it.

She gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the
father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $1500."

He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born
on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived:

"Greens Fee:  $500."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the
pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of
Woods.

The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used
them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come
in and demand his money back.

But the next time he came in, he was all smiles.

"They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact,
I've discovered I can throw them at least 10 yards farther
than I could my last ones."

______________________________________________________



Dubai Gardens

______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Logan Shaulis,
20, 
Somerset,
Pennsylvania
Drunk guy makes fake DUI checkpoint, 
gets charged with DUI

A Pennsylvania man set up a fake drunken-driving checkpoint
only to be charged with drunken driving himself when real
troopers arrived to investigate.

The (Somerset) Daily American says 20-year-old Logan Shaulis
will be sentenced June 27. He pleaded guilty Thursday to
drunken driving, possessing instruments of crime, and
impersonating a public servant.

Police say Shaulis used a flashing blue light bar, parked
diagonally across state Route 601 and set up road flares
about 4 a.m. on May 30.

A motorist who stopped says Shaulis claimed he was a trooper
with the “drug and alcohol division” and demanded to see her
identification.

When police arrived, Shaulis tried to hand a BB pistol to the
car’s passenger, saying he couldn’t get caught with it.

Shaulis’ attorney says Shaulis has since completed substance
abuse treatment.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Ria
RE: Linux BASH on Windows?
Dear Webby
I heard that W10 Now has access to thge Linux Bash shell
or will really soon. Is that true?
Is it a real Linux/UNIX bash shell, or just a relabled
DOS shell? 

How easy is it to get it, and how reliable is it, compared 
to real Linux?
Ria

Dear Ria
First, it is not easy to get. You have to sign up for all
kinds of stuff and agree, that there won't be any guarantees
whatsoever. Microsoft says it COULD work.
After that, and joining some insider developers gang, you can 
download and install it.

I would highly recommend that you first save a mirror image
of your hard drive onto a spare drive.

Eventually most bash commands, that you use on Linux, should
work, just like DOS commands work when you go to the command
line in Windows with START, cmd. 

That does not mean you can run Linux programs or Linux 
versions of programs. For that you need real Linux.

If you have a bunch of BASH programs (Linux/UNIX equivalent
of DOS bat files), then you can now use those for sorting
and weeding out files on Windows 10, just like you do on your
Linux machines. 

By the time they force us to "upgrade" to Windows 15 or 16, 
Windows will have a version that is just another flavor of 
Linux, like Linux Ubuntu is a flavor.

That has been announced a long time ago. Windows is getting
too big and slow because of trying to cope with old versions
of software, so they are going to make a clean break some day
and possibly split off a professional version, that runs 
Linux Microsoft.

The big problem is that Linux is free, and Microsoft is 
allergic to that concept. It will be interesting! 
But not yet. For now you are better off converting your bash
files to DOS bat files. DOS is alive and  well deep down 
inside of Windows.

I use a bat file that uses xcopy with a bunch of neat 
switches to do my backup to an external drive.
That backup bat file is from Windows 3.1, just has a lot 
more lines added to it. 

Xcopy is the DOS equivalent of UNIX rsync, but without the
silly authentication rigmarole, and with more switches than
rsync has. Yes, sometimes I wish there was a DOS shell for
Linux. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.

When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."

"And why not, darling?"  

"You know that it always gives you a headache the next 
morning."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Salt Spout Mason Jar
By lalala...

Don't throw that empty salt container away. You can remove
the top with the spout and cut it down to fit inside a mason
jar ring! Now you can put all kind of things in the jar and
easily pour out the amount you want.


For best results dip the cardboard 
cut-out from the salt box in spar varnish or any good, 
waterproof varnish. Even spray on varnish works. You will 
have to wiggle the spout a bit while the varnish is setting 
up, so that it does not lock. When I was living in the bush
in the Yukon I even used pasta sauce jars with screw top
caps, marked and poked a hole into the lid and then glued one
of my varnished cardboard toppers onto the screw-on cap.
No need to buy expensive mason jars for that. 
Have FUN!
DearWebby

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could deliver
their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor
came out to talk to him.

The doctor said, "I have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad
news is that it is a cesarean."

Ole started crying, and said, "Vel, I'm glad it is a
healthy baby, but being from Minnasohta, I vas kinda hoping
it vould be Norvegian.

___________________________________________________

fight for your life - Fed Ex Flight 705 - Intense

____________________________________________________

Thanks to Father Time for this one:
At Heathrow Airport, a 300-foot long red carpet stretches out
to Air Force One and Mr.  Bush strides to a warm but dignified h
and shake from Queen Elizabeth II.

They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of
central London where they then board an open 17th century
coach pulled by six magnificent white matching horses. They
ride toward Buckingham Palace, each looking sideways and
waving to the thousands of cheering Britons.
 So far everything is going well.


Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most 
horrendous, earth-rending, eye-smarting blast of flatulence
ever heard in the British Empire and so powerful,that it
shakes the coach.

Uncomfortable, but under control, the two Dignitaries of 
State do their best to ignore the incident.

But, embarrassed, the Queen decides it's impossible to ignore 
it.
"Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you
understand that there are some things not even a Queen can
control."

Ever the Texas gentleman, the President replies, "Your 
Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You 
know, if you hadn't said something, I would have thought it 
was one of the horses." 

__________________________________________________

Short on funds, Lisa decided with some apprehension to let
her roommate, a professional dog groomer, give her a haircut.
To her relief, she did a terrific job. "It's great!" she said.
"But how can I be sure to get the same style the next time
I go to the beauty shop?"

"Simple," she answered. "Just say you want the top cut like
a poodle, the sides like a schnauzer, and the back like a
Lhasa apso."

____________________________________________________



Where's my back pack!


Power of puppies




Today on April 14
1775 The first abolitionist society in U.S. was organized 
 in Philadelphia with Ben Franklin as president.
1793 A royalist rebellion in Santo Domingo was crushed by 
 French republican troops.
1860 The first Pony Express rider arrived in San Francisco 
 with mail originating in St. Joseph, MO.
1865 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in 
 Ford's Theater by John Wilkes Booth. He actually died 
 early the next morning.
1894 First public showing of Thomas Edison's kinetoscope 
 took place.
1902 James Cash (J.C.) Penney opened his first retail store 
in Kemmerer, WY. It was called the Golden Rule Store.
1912 The Atlantic passenger liner Titanic, on its maiden 
 voyage hit an iceberg and began to sink. 1,517 people lost 
 their lives and more than 700 survived.
1931 King Alfonso XIII of Spain went into exile and the 
 Spanish Republic was proclaimed.
1946 The civil war between Communists and nationalist 
 resumed in China.
1953 Viet Minh invaded Laos with 40,00 troops.
1956 Ampex Corporation of Redwood City, CA, demonstrated 
 the first commercial magnetic tape recorder for sound 
 and picture.
1981 America's first space shuttle, Columbia, returned 
to Earth after a three-day test flight. The shuttle 
orbited the Earth 36 times during the mission.
1984 The Texas Board of Education began requiring that 
 the state's public school textbooks describe the evolution 
 of human beings as "theory rather than fact".
1986 U.S. President Reagan announced the U.S. air raid on 
 military and terrorist related targets in Libya.
1987 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev proposed banning all 
 missiles from Europe.
1988 Representatives from the U.S.S.R., Pakistan, Afghanistan 
 and the U.S. signed an agreement that called for the 
 withdrawal of Soviet forces from Afghanistan starting on 
 May 15. The last Soviet troop left Afghanistan on 
 February 15, 1989.
1988 In New York, real estate tycoons Harry and Leona 
 Helmsley were indicted for income tax evasion.
1998 The state of Virginia ignored the requests from the 
 World Court and executed a Paraguayan for the murder of 
 a U.S. woman.
1999 Pakistan test-fired a ballistic missile that was capable 
 of carrying a nuclear warhead and reaching its rival neighbor 
 India.
2002 Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez returned to office two 
 days after being arrested by his country's military.
2008 Delta Air Lines and Northwest Airlines announced they were 
 combining. 
2016  smiled.

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---

Killed by aerosol duster, that was recommended by morons 

Wednesday, April 13, 2016, 10:36 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, April 13

Voting is finally working again!
Do you remember how?
Please try to vote!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Naked Fresno man watering his lawn arrested after
confronting deputies with 8-inch knife
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 13, in
1598 King Henry IV of France signed the Edict of Nantes which 
 granted political rights to French Protestant Huguenots. 
1829 The English Parliament granted freedom of religion to Catholics. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side 
in a quarrel.
--- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) 
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. 
Someone asked her what the bracelet was for.  
She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and raw eggs."

The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?"

The girl said, "I don't know.... I don't eat raw cats."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was
dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make
her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink,
but she refused it.

Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.
Remembering a bottle of rum they had received as a gift the
previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous
amount into the warm milk.

When she walked back to Mother Superior's bed, she held
the glass to her lips.

Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it,
she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us
some wisdom before you die."

She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her
face and said…”Don't sell that cow.”

______________________________________________________



MtRainier-Hood-Adams
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Robert Lopez,
37, 
Fresno,
California
Naked man watering his lawn arrested after 
confronting deputies with 8-inch knife

Neighbors called police after seeing a naked man watering
his lawn Wednesday evening.

When deputies got there they say he was sitting in his yard
drinking a beer - yes - still naked.

According to a press release, 37-year-old Robert Lopez
refused to put on clothes when asked, throwing the glass
beer bottle at them.

The bottle missed, but Lopez continued threatening the
deputy, saying "that he would get a gun and shoot him."

With the situation escalating, the deputy called for
backup, and got his rifle from the car for protection.

Lopez eventually put on a pair of shorts and went inside,
coming back out with a knife with an 8-inch blade that he
threw at the deputy.

Once backup arrived, they used a bean bag round from a
shotgun, which hit Lopez, and allowed authorities to place
him into custody.

Lopez faces felony charges of assault with a deadly weapon
on a peace officer, resisting arrest, and a misdemeanor for
indecent exposure.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Irene
RE: Compressed air cans for cleaning
Dear Webby
I remember that you always get right irate and obnoxious
when some idiot recommends using canned air for cleaning
keyboards or computers, or even having it in the house.
I was reminded of your tirades when I read that a 36 year
old woman in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, died from huffing
aerosol keyboard cleaner in the washroom at the local Staples.
Dead from huffing aerosol keyboard cleaner

There are none of those cans in my house, -I am not stupid-,
but maybe it is time to remind the rest of the subscribers 
to check the garage and basement and toss any cans that 
might still be lurking. What is actually deadly in it?
Irene

Dear Irene
It definitely is no secret that those aerosol cans designed
to blow dirt to harder to reach places are deadly. It never 
ceases to amaze me that otherwise almost sane people still
recommend them. 

Aside from the fact, that they kill people, they just move 
dirt to harder to reach places. DUH! Real moron malfunction.

Any vacuum cleaner, even a rechargeable car vacuum like you
used to get for subscribing to Popular Mechanics or similar 
magazines, will get rid of dirt and dust and cookie crumbs.
Not move it, but get rid of the dirt!

The dangerous stuff in the cans is a Tetrafluoroethan gas.
It doesn't always kill. Sometimes it just causes brain 
damage. 

Major brand car vacuum cleaners like Dirt Devil or ArmorAll
or Dust Buster are about $25 - $30. They all work and get
rid of dirt and crumbs and dust bunnies. 
And of course your regular vacuum cleaner with the crevice
attachment works even better.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


Carole was planning her upcoming wedding and asked to wear
her mother's wedding gown. When she tried it on, it was a
perfect fit on her petite frame.

Suddenly, her mother's eyes filled with tears. Putting an
arm around her, Carole lovingly said, "Don't cry, Mom.
Remember, you aren't losing a daughter, you're gaining a
son."

"Oh, forget about that sillinyess!" her mother sobbed. "You know
and I know that he is an idiot, but has a steady job and is just
barely smart enough not to argue with you or me. That doesn't
bother me."

"Then what is it, Mom?", Carole pleaded.

"Waaaaaaaa! Sob, Sniff!  I, I, I  used to fit into that gown!",
her mother wailed.

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Lipstick From Inside a Dryer

By nanaskids0611 [1 Post]
Lipstick in your dryer is easily removed by using Comet
with bleach. I tried so many things and nothing worked, so
I took my Comet with beach and started cleaning my dryer
and wow it took it all out. It was so easy.

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Seen on a tee-shirt:

     That's enough of that!!!
      I'm Calling Grandma!

___________________________________________________

German engineering - backhoe climbing a tower

____________________________________________________

Seen in the paper...

"Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and
lectured on 'Destructive Pests.' A large number were
present."

__________________________________________________

The principal was ready to teach little Johnny a lesson. 
He told Johnny to take a seat, he wanted to tell him a story.

He said, "Johnny, the other day I decided to go duck hunting,
but I only had two shots. So, I fired my first shot and killed
two ducks. They were falling out of the sky and fell into a tree,
where they hit four squirrels, and killed them.

So, the two ducks and four squirrels came falling to the
ground where they hit two rabbits and killed them.

Just as I was going to gather up my animals, a bear came
out and started to get them.

Then the weirdest thing  happened. A little dog showed up
out of nowhere and attacked the bear, so I was able to get all
the animals I had killed. Now, little Johnny, you believe that
story don't you?"

Little Johnny said, "Sure I do, That's my dog and that's
the third bear she's got this year!"

____________________________________________________



Where's my back pack!


Power of puppies




Today on April 13
1598 King Henry IV of France signed the Edict of Nantes which 
 granted political rights to French Protestant Huguenots. 
1759 The French defeated the European allies in Battle of Bergen. 
1829 The English Parliament granted freedom of religion to Catholics. 
1849 The Hungarian Republic was proclaimed. 
1860 The first mail was delivered via Pony Express when a westbound 
 rider arrived in Sacremento, CA from St. Joseph, MO. 
1861 After 34 hours of bombardment, the Union-held Fort Sumter 
 surrenders to Confederates. 
1916 The first hybrid seed corn was purchased for 15-cents a 
 bushel by Samuel Ramsay. 
1919 British forces killed hundreds of Indian nationalists in 
 the Amritsar Massacre. 
1933 The first flight over Mount Everest was completed by 
 Lord Clydesdale. 
1941 German troops captured Belgrade, Yugoslavia. 
1945 Vienna fell to Soviet troops. 
1949 Philip S. Hench and associates announced that cortizone 
 was an effective treatment for rheumatoid arthritis. 
1960 The first navigational satellite was launched into Earth's orbit. 
1961 The U.N. General Assembly condemned South Africa due to apartheid. 
1962 In the U.S., major steel companies rescinded announced price 
 increases. The John F. Kennedy administration had been applying 
 pressure against the price increases. 
1970 An oxygen tank exploded on Apollo 13, preventing a planned 
 moon landing. 
1976 The U.S. Federal Reserve introduced $2 bicentennial notes. 
1979 The world's longest doubles ping-pong match ended after 101 hours. 
1984 U.S. President Reagan sent emergency military aid to El Salvador 
 without congressional approval. 
1990 The Soviet Union accepted responsibility for the World War II 
 murders of thousands of imprisoned Polish officers in the Katyn Forest. 
 The Soviets had previously blamed the massacre on the Nazis. 
1998 Dolly, the world's first cloned sheep, gave natural birth to a 
 healthy baby lamb. 
1999 Jack Kervorkian was sentenced in Pontiac, MI, to 10 to 25 
 years in prison for the second-degree murder of Thomas Youk. 
 Youk's assisted suicide was videotaped and shown on "60 Minutes"
2002 Twenty-five Hindus were killed and about 30 were wounded when 
 grenades were thrown by suspected Islamic guerrillas near Jammu-Kashir. 
2002 Venezuela's interim president, Pedro Carmona, resigned a day 
 after taking office. Thousands of protesters had protested 
 over the ousting of president Hugo Chavez. 
2016  smiled.

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---

Move icon to the task bar 

Tuesday, April 12, 2016, 07:11 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, April 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Virginia auto repair shop robber
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 12, in
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople.
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously 
called an old man for the first time.
--- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Mother: "How's your history paper coming?"

Son:  "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the
Internet for research and it's been very helpful.

Mother:  "Really?"

Son:  "Yes, I checked Effectivepapers.com and 
they have everything I need to pass."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital.
"This is the most hazardous section in the hospital for you.
The men on this floor are almost well."

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Dad for this picture:


Amarilis
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Thomas Earl Lewis Jr.
28, 
Newport news,
Virginia
Virginia auto repair shop robber

The suspect involved in a robbery of auto repair shop
workers is behind bars.

Police say that on Tuesday, Thomas Earl Lewis Jr. left
his vehicle at the shop located in the 11000 block of
Jefferson Avenue for repairs. Lewis came back to the shop
and asked for his vehicle, which was still being worked
on. When told his vehicle was not ready, Lewis reportedly
became angry and pulled out a handgun.

Lewis then robbed two shop workers of their cell phones,
car keys and other items. Lewis then left the scene in a
silver colored vehicle. The shop workers then called 911.

Police located Lewis after noticing the vehicle in the
victim’s description at a traffic light.

Lewis was arrested and charged with two counts of robbery
and two counts of use of a firearm in the commission of a
felony.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Sharon
RE: Move icon to the task bar
Dear Webby
I am trying out how to put a desktop icon on the taskbar also.
On my desktop I have a shortcut icon for "Outlook Express"
& would like to also have the icon on the taskbar.I want it 
on the taskbar and on the desktop too.
Thanks, Sharon

Dear Sharon
Just drag the icon onto the taskbar next to the START button.
If you hold down SHIFT while you do that, it will MOVE it,
if you hold down CTRL, it will leave the old one and put a
copy onto the taskbar.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


An amateur photographer was invited to dinner with friends
and took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She
looked at the photos and commented
"These are very good! You must have a good camera."

He didn't make any comment, but, as he was leaving to
go home he said:  "That was a really delicious meal! You
must have a very good stove."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Soda Can Lantern as Outdoor Decor
By KIM HOGGAN [34 Posts, 60 Comments]

Approximate Time: 5 minutes

Supplies:
soda can
a little knife
battery tea light
a hook such as a paper clip

Steps:
Gather your supplies.

Get any soda can and begin to cut about an inch 
below top of rim.
Carefully and slowly cut 9 lines of equal width.


Use a pencil, spatula handle, or anything else to seperate 
the rows. Bend the center of each row.

Make one opening a bit bigger to insert the tea light. 
Once done, using both hands the can should easily bend 
and spring up and down.

Pull the cap up and hang a paper clip or hook.

Finally hang wherever you'd like. My spiral wind spinner 
already had a hole at the end and so I hung it there. 
Enjoy! :)

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed
several students on their hands and knees assessing
the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

"What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen
ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving
this courtyard."

When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend
asked our guide: "So what's the answer?"

The guide replied: "One."

___________________________________________________

Dixie with Ella and Elvis

____________________________________________________

A man told his friend, "I haven't been feeling very well,
so I visited the doctor yesterday."

His friend was concerned and asked,
"Did he find out what you had?"

"Almost," answered the man.

"What do you mean by 'almost'?" asked his friend.

"Well," the man continued, "I had $76.50
and he charged me $75.00."

____________________________________________________

A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives
alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,
loses control and crashes into the ditch. 

The farmer comes out and finding the politicians, 
buries them.

The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the
man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police
officer. "Were they all dead?"

The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know
how politicians lie." 

____________________________________________________



TWhere's my back pack!


Power of puppies




Today on April 12
1096 Peter the Hermit gathered his army in Cologne. 
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople. 
1606 England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag. 
1782 The British navy won its only naval engagement against 
 the colonists in the American Revolution at the Battle 
 of Saints, off Dominica. 
1799 Phineas Pratt patented the comb cutting machine. 
1811 The first colonists arrived at Cape Disappointment, 
 Washington. 
1833 Charles Gaylor patented the fireproof safe. 
1861 Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting 
 America's Civil War. 
1864 Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest captured Fort 
 Pillow, in Tennessee and slaughtered the black Union 
 troops there. 
1892 Voters in Lockport, New York, became the first in the 
 U.S. to use voting machines. 
1911 Pierre Prier completed the first non-stop London-Paris 
 flight in three hours and 56 minutes. 
1916 American cavalrymen and Mexican bandit troops clashed 
 at Parrel, Mexico. 
1927 The British Cabinet came out in favor of women 
 voting rights. 
1938 The first U.S. law requiring a medical test for a 
 marriage license was enacted in New York. 
1944 The U.S. Twentieth Air Force was activated to begin 
 the strategic bombing of Japan. 
1945 In New York, the organization of the first eye bank, 
 the Eye Bank for Sight Restoration, was announced. 
1955 The University of Michigan Polio Vaccine Evaluation 
 Center announced that the polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk 
 was "safe, effective and potent." 
1961 Soviet Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became first man to 
 orbit the Earth. 
1963 Police used dogs and cattle prods on peaceful civil 
 rights demonstrators in Birmingham, AL. 
1981 The space shuttle Columbia blasted off from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL, on its first test flight. 
1982 The British Navy began enforcing a blockade around 
 the Falkland Islands. 
1984 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Challenger made 
 the first satellite repair in orbit by returning the 
 Solar Max satellite to space. 
1984 Israeli troops stormed a bus that had been hijacked 
 the previous evening by four Arab terrorists. All the 
 passengers were rescued and 2 of the hijackers were killed. 
1985 U.S. Senator Jake Garn of Utah became the first senator 
 to fly in space.
1985 In Spain, an explosion in a restaurant near a U.S. base 
 killed 17 people. 
1985 Federal inspectors declared that four animals of the 
 Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus were not 
 unicorns. They were goats with horns that had been surgically 
 implanted. 
1987 Texaco filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy after it failed to 
 settle a legal dispute with Pennzoil Co. 
1988 Harvard University won a patent for a genetically altered 
 mouse. It was the first patent for a life form. 
1989 In the U.S.S.R, ration cards were issued for the first 
 time since World War II. The ration was prompted by a sugar 
 shortage. 
1993 NATO began enforcing a no-fly zone over Bosnia and 
 Herzegovina. 
2000 More than 1,500 anti-drug agents raided four cities 
 in Colombia and arrested 46 members of the "most 
 powerful" heroin ring. 
2000 Israel's High Court ordered the release of eight 
 Lebanese detainees that had been held for years without 
 a trial. 
2002 It was announced that the South African version of 
 "Sesame Street" would be introducing a character that 
 was HIV-positive. 


2016  smiled.

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---

Scam phone calls 

Friday, April 8, 2016, 09:48 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, April 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


There won't be any newsletters on Saturday, Sunday or Monday.
I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs 
today.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh man, who was arrested after he left his own wallet
with ID at the scene of an armed robbery.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 8, in
1525 Albert von Brandenburg, the leader of the Teutonic Order, 
 assumes the title "Duke of Prussia" and passed the first laws 
 of the Protestant church, making Prussia a Protestant state. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: 
the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, 
and electromechanical gadgets.
--- Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she
didn't care about looks, income or background. All she
wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was
seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together instantly. They both
had identical scores on the BS meter.




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

A third grade class is doing some spelling drills. The
teacher asks Tommy if he can spell "before."
He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."

The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell
before?"

Another little boy stands up and says, "Before,
B-E-F-O-O-R."

Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher
asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?"

Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."

"Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?"

Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."

______________________________________________________



From FB
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Devonte Levoris Pace, 
28, 
Panama City,
Floriduh
Floriduh man, who was arrested after he left his own wallet
with ID at the scene of an armed robbery.

A man accused of robbing two men of their wallets allegedly 
dropped his own wallet while fleeing the scene, according to 
arrest records.

Devonte Levoris Pace, 28, was arrested Tuesday as a principal 
to armed robbery and grand theft following the incident.

Panama City Police reports allege Pace was one of three men 
involved in an armed robbery Jan. 16 outside the Watershed, 
1118 Bayview Ave. PCPD reported that the trio walked up on 
two men sitting in a car and pulled a gun on the victims, 
demanding their money and wallets. The men stole about $600 
in cash and then fled on foot, PCPD reported.

However, during the getaway, Pace allegedly dropped his own 
wallet, which contained his Florida ID. He was also allegedly 
captured on surveillance video, police reported.
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Vi
Re: Scam calls
Dear Webby
I got this forward from a cousin and looked to see if it 
was on the Hoax list. I didn't see it but thought you 
might know about it.

> I received a telephone call last evening from an individual identifying
> himself as an AT&T Service technician who was conducting a test on
> telephone lines. He stated that to complete the test I should touch
> nine(9), zero(0),
> the pound sign (#), and then hang up. ....

Vi

Dear Vi
That trick with forwarding the phone works in some areas, 
but not exactly the same way all across the country.

However, REAL phone techs NEVER ask you to do silly stuff 
like that. They have much easier ways to check your line, 
without bothering you..

Depending on your mood at the time, there are various ways 
to respond if somebody asks you to punch ANY numbers on 
the phone.

You could for example tell him that he must have the 
wrong number because you don't have a phone. Feel free
to practise any insults that you remember from your teen 
years. What the scammers are trying to do is get you to  
forward the call, on YOUR billing, to some Caribbean or
Asian country and then call all day on your bill.

By the way, all phone companies recommend that if something 
like that happens, that you DO NOT punch in any number and
immediately afterward dial zero for the operator and tell 
them all about it. They can trace the last call, and they 
will send some really big phone techs over there to tune 
the crook in to phone company policy. 

They get right miffed when some two-bit crook is trying to 
give them a bad name.

Calling the operator may or may not work with your phone 
company. You might have to look up their operator's number
in the  GET A HUMAN link on the right side-menu here.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


A deputy stopped a man for speeding in a residential
neighborhood. The man begged the deputy not to give him
a ticket, saying that he was handling an emergency. The
deputy asked if the emergency was life threatening.
The man said, "When my wife finds out I got another
ticket, it will be."

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Soda Can Lantern as Outdoor Decor
By KIM HOGGAN [34 Posts, 60 Comments]

Approximate Time: 5 minutes

Supplies:
soda can
a little knife
battery tea light
a hook such as a paper clip

Steps:
Gather your supplies.

Get any soda can and begin to cut about an inch 
below top of rim.
Carefully and slowly cut 9 lines of equal width.


Use a pencil, spatula handle, or anything else to seperate 
the rows. Bend the center of each row.

Make one opening a bit bigger to insert the tea light. 
Once done, using both hands the can should easily bend 
and spring up and down.

Pull the cap up and hang a paper clip or hook.

Finally hang wherever you'd like. My spiral wind spinner 
already had a hole at the end and so I hung it there. 
Enjoy! :)

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

John brought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner. As
they arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms
around John and kissed him passionately.
"My goodness", said Peter, "and how long have you been
married?"

"22 years", replied John.

"You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like
that after all those years."

"Don't be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous."

___________________________________________________

poor little boy got his head stuck

____________________________________________________

Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to
me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when
my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on
the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse.

Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour
and 45 minutes!"

----------
I usually just have a nap and embarrass them into calling 
me sooner than they do others, who are not napping.

____________________________________________________

>From Glenda
After booking my 96 year old aunt on a flight from Florida
to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The
representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair
and an attendant for my aunt because of her arthritis and
impaired vision and absentmindedness..

My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured
me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her
profusely.

"Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up
when she cheerfully asked,
"And will your aunt need a rental car?"

____________________________________________________



The Entire Alphabet Carved Into Mechanical Pencil Lead 


Power of puppies




Today on April 8
1513 Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain.
1525 Albert von Brandenburg, the leader of the Teutonic Order, 
 assumes the title "Duke of Prussia" and passed the first laws 
 of the Protestant church, making Prussia a Protestant state. 
1832 About 300 American troops of the 6th Infantry left 
 Jefferson Barracks, St. Louis, to confront the Sauk Indians 
 in the Black Hawk War. 
1873 Alfred Paraf patented the first successful oleomargarine. 
1939 Italy invaded Albania. 
1942 The Soviets opened a rail link to the besieged city of Leningrad. 
1952 U.S. President Truman seized steel mills to prevent a nationwide strike. 
1953 The bones of Sitting Bull were moved from North Dakota to South Dakota. 
1962 Bay of Pigs invaders got thirty years imprisonment in Cuba. 
1985 India filed suit against Union Carbide for the Bhopal disaster. 
1985 Phyllis Diller underwent a surgical procedure for permanent eyeliner 
 to eliminate the need for eyelid makeup. 
1986 Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, CA. 
1990 In Nepal, King Birendra lifted the 30-year ban on political parties. 
1992 In Britain, the last issue of "Punch Magazine" was published. 
1994 Smoking was banned in the Pentagon and all U.S. military bases. 
2002 Ed McMahon filed a $20 million lawsuit against his insurance company, 
 two insurance adjusters, and several environmental cleanup contractors. 
 The suit alleged breach of contract, negligence and intentional infliction 
 of emotional distress concerning a toxic mold that had spread through 
 McMahon's Beverly Hills home. 
2016  smiled.

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---

Formatting DVDs 

Thursday, April 7, 2016, 10:06 AM
Posted by Administrator

Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, April 7

The Ezinefinder is working again!
Got 29 votes. Looks like a lot of steady voters have
retired.
Let's show them that we did not forget how to vote!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oklahoma 
Salad bar slob arrested for assaulting off-duty cop
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, April 7, in
1712 A slave revolt broke out in New York City. 
More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; 
and he who dares not is a slave.
--- Sir William Drummond

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income
tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--- Arthur C. Clarke
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A young mother paying a visit to a friend and her husband, who
was the village doctor. She made no attempt to restrain her
five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But
finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say,
"I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny being in there."

"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet soon. Those are
just different snake poisons."




With THIS LINK you get 50% off!


Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

Linda is from New Jersey, a state where pumping your
own gas is prohibited.  So when she moved to Florida, she
had to get used to to self-serve stations. Linda was
embarrassed when she stopped for gas in Orlando and
couldn't figure out how to use the pump.

Finally she went into the station and confessed to the women
behind the counter that she needed help.

One said, "Honey, are you a widow, 
or are you from New Jersey?"

______________________________________________________



Snoqualmie Falls Washington 
______________________________________________________

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 

Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Lindsay Williams,
29, 
Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma
Salad bar slob arrested for assaulting off-duty cop

An Oklahoma woman who kept using her bare hands to scoop 
lettuce from a salad bar bowl allegedly punched an 
off-duty cop in the face after being told to cease her 
unsanitary behavior.

According to investigators, a female sheriff’s deputy was 
having lunch Friday afternoon with her two children at 
Mazzio’s Pizza when she was assaulted by Lindsay Williams, 29.

As detailed in an Oklahoma City Police Department report, 
Deputy Adebola Atoka was “at the salad bar selecting food 
for her plate” when she spotted Williams using “her bare 
hands to grab salad out of the salad bowl.”

Atoka, cops noted, alerted restaurant staffers, “who 
changed out the salad.”

After the lettuce had been replaced, Williams returned to 
the salad bar and again dug in with her hands, prompting 
Atoka to tell her that, “she should not do that.”

Williams, police allege, responded by punching Atoka in 
the face, a blow that knocked the deputy’s glasses off.

Seen above, Williams was subsequently arrested for 
assault and battery. 
______________________________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Lee
Re: Formatting DVDs
Dear Webby
I've recently reformated some DVD-r's which I had personal 
data on.

In reformating the computer says all will be lost. Is that 
absolutely true?  I don't want a reuser to gain anything 
from them.

Thanks,
Lee

Dear Lee
Yes, formatting erases everything.

For absolute military grade security, put them into the 
Microwave for 45 seconds and watch the miniature lightning 
storm. They look quite cute after that and can never be 
re-used. NOTHING can recover anything after that.

They make really cute coasters. When AOL was still sending 
their CDs around, I exorcised them that way. Those coasters
last for many years.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________


A Sunday-school teacher was trying to explain about saying grace
before meals.  One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of
that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, "Jerry,
what does you father say when the family sits down to dinner?"

Jerry answered, "He says 'Go easy on the butter, kids -- it's
four bucks a pound!'"

______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!




______________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Honey Lemon Cake
By attosa [191 Posts, 467 Comments]

Approximate Time: 50 minutes
Yield: 10 servingsHoney Lemon Cake

Ingredients:
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup honey
1 Tbsp butter or oil
1 Tbsp lemon zest
1/4 cup lemon juice
Glaze
3/4 cup powdered sugar
3 tsp lemon juice and some lemon zest

Steps:
Preheat oven to 350 F and grease a 9 x 9 inch baking pan. 
Combine egg, applesauce, honey, butter or oil, zest and lemon 
juice. Whisk thoroughly.

Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. 
Whisk thoroughly.

Fold dry ingredients into wet, eliminating all lumps.
Pour batter into pan.
Bake in 25 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. 
Remove and cool.

To make the glaze, combine the powdered sugar, lemon juice 
and zest. Mix with a clean whisk until it is smooth.
Pour over the cooled cake.

In this example, I cut my 9 inch cake and half, put a bit 
of glaze on layer one, then most on the very top.

______________________________________________________



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, 
look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
_____________________________________________________

Father O'Malley answers the phone: "Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"
"It is"
"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"
"I can"
"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"
"I do"
"Is he a member of your congregation?"
"He is"
"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"
"He will".

___________________________________________________

Discussing who gets the car tonight :D 

____________________________________________________

Thanks to Roland for this one:
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm
getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up."

"That's not senility," replied the doctor.
"Senility is when you forget to zip down."

____________________________________________________

A young man walked into the insurance office to purchase
coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused
him. "Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?"

It has a kickstand," he replied. "Is that the same thing?"

____________________________________________________



An amazing aerial hoop performance on 
“The World’s Greatest Cabaret” French television show. 
 

Power of puppies




Today on April 7
1712 A slave revolt broke out in New York City. 
1864 The first camel race in America was held in Sacramento, 
 California. 
1922 U.S. Secretary of Interior leased Teapot Dome naval oil 
 reserves in Wyoming. 
1930 The first steel columns were set for the Empire State Building. 
1933 Prohibition ended in the United States. 
1943 British and American armies linked up between Wadi Akarit 
 and El Guettar in North Africa to form a solid line against 
 the German army. 
1945 The Japanese battleship Yamato, the world’s largest 
 battleship, was sunk during the battle for Okinawa. The fleet 
 was headed for a suicide mission. 
1953 IBM unveiled the IBM 701 Electronic Data Processing 
 Machine. It was IBM's first commercially available scientific 
 computer. 
1963 Yugoslavia proclaimed itself a Socialist republic. 
1963 Josip Broz Tito was proclaimed to be the leader of 
 Yugoslavia for life. 
1966 The U.S. recovered a hydrogen bomb it had lost off 
 the coast of Spain. 
1967 Israel reported that they had shot down six Syrian MIGs. 
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously struck down laws 
 prohibiting private possession of obscene material. 
1970 John Wayne won his first and only Oscar for his role 
 in "True Grit." He had been in over 200 films. 
1971 U.S. President Nixon pledged to withdraw 100,000 more 
 men from Vietnam by December. 
1980 The U.S. broke diplomatic relations with Iran and imposed 
 economic sanctions in response to the taking of hostages 
 on November 4, 1979. 
1983 Specialist Story Musgrave and Don Peterson made the first 
 Space Shuttle spacewalk. 
1983 The Chinese government canceled all remaining sports and 
 cultural exchanges with the U.S. for 1983. 
1985 The Soviet Union announced a unilateral freeze on 
 medium-range nuclear missiles. 
1988 Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev agreed to final terms of 
 a Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan. Soviet troops began 
 leaving on May 16, 1988. 
1988 In Fort Smith, AR, 13 white supremacists were acquitted 
 on charges for plotting to overthrow the U.S. federal government. 
1989 A Soviet submarine carrying nuclear weapons sank in the 
 Norwegian Sea. 
1990 In the U.S., John Poindexter was found guilty of five counts 
 at his Iran-Contra trial. The convictions were later reversed 
 on appeal. 
1998 Mary Bono, the widow of Sonny Bono, won a special election 
 to serve out the remainder of her husband's congressional term. 
1999 Yugoslav authorities sealed off Kosovo's main border crossings 
 to prevent ethnic Albanians from leaving. 
2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the Senior Citizens Freedom 
 to Work Act of 2000. The bill reversed a Depression-era law 
 and allows senior citizens to earn money without losing 
 Social Security retirement benefits. 
2006 The Boeing X-37 conducted its first flight as a test drop 
 at Edwards Air Force Base, CA. 
2009 Former Peruvian President Alberto Fujimori was sentenced 
 to 25 years in prison for ordering killings and kidnappings 
 by security forces. 
2016  smiled.

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