No subscriptions at Sbcglobal 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, June 30

In May people claimed that the reason there were no donations 
was my Pro Free Enterprise political comments. So I stayed 
away from politics in June. Donations dropped even further.
Looks like the economy is in much bigger need for correction,
than I had figured!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1294 Jews are expelled from Berne Switzerland 
1834 Congress creates Indian Territory (now Oklahoma) 
1859 Charles Blondin is 1st to cross Niagara Falls on a tightrope 
1894 Korea declares independence from China, 
      asks for Japanese aid
1900 4 German ocean liners burn at Hobokon Docks NJ, 326 die 
1908 Giant fireball impacts in Central Siberia (Tunguska Event)
1913 2nd Balkan War begins
1914 Mahatma Gandhi's 1st arrest, in S Africa
1923 New Zealand claims Ross Dependency in Antarctica 
1934 "Night of the Long Knives," Hitler stages bloody 
      purge of Nazi party 
1936 40 hour work week law approved (federal) 
1939 Heinkel HE176 rocket plane flies for 1st time, at Peenemunde 
1948 Transistor as a substitute for Radio tubes 
   announced (Bell Labs) 
1950 Pres Truman orders US troops into Korea
1981 China's Communist Party condemns the late 
   Mao Tse-tung's policy 
1989 Congressman Lukins found guilty of having sex 
   with a 16 year old girl
1989 NASA closes down tracking stations in Santiago, Chile & Guam 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel. --- King Solomon
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news. So not to be captured, he ran through fields and traveled through back roads until he reached his wife's house. When he reached the house, he rang the bell, his wife opened the door and screamed, "You lousy bum! Where have you been? You escaped more than six hours ago!"
Smart PC Fixer Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage! Faster and Smoother Running System. Fix Windows quickly and safely!

A worried Mrs. Melnik sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call Morty at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "Morty?" said the housewife. "Who's Morty?" "Why, Morty! Your husband! ....Is this 555-1374? "No, this is 555-1375." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"
Thanks to Dianne for this pictrue: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Destiny Witte, 32, in Lakeland, Florida Sex With 14-Year-Old Two Weeks Before Wedding Destiny Witte, a 32-year-old Florida woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old boy two weeks before her wedding day. According to police, Witte and the 14-year-old victim met in person several times and exchanged text messages before deciding to meet at Lake Bonny Park in Lakeland. Once at the park, investigators say Witte led the boy to a men's restroom where the two had sexual intercourse. An investigation was launched after family members of the victim noticed that Witte was spending a lot of time around the boy. Family members also noticed that the boy was acting unusual recently. Investigators believe Witte and the child had at least one "make-out" a week before meeting for sex. The sexual encounter allegedly took place on June 24. Witte, a mother to three school aged children, was reportedly set to be married in about two weeks. Wedding plans have apparently been cancelled. Witte was booked into the Polk County Jail and charged with lewd battery on a child under 16 and 2 counts of lewd conduct with a child under 16. She is reported to be on suicide watch while awaiting her first court appearance.
Tech Support Pits: From: Erl Re: No subscription at sbcglobal Dear Webby This will be my second day not to receive the Humor subscription. I'm not for sure if you are having more eye surgery or just general medical problems. when you were ill the first time, that was the time I did not receive the Humor subscription. Hope you might help me to solve this current problem. Thank you. Erl H erl********@sbcglobal.net Dear Erl I sent out the Humor Letter all week, including to erlharman@sbcglobal.net|Erl|humor Keep in mind that sbcglobal is just a phony attempt to make a Yahoo address appear almost respectable. Deep down inside, it is Yahoo. Yahoo has other priorities than delivering subscriptions to all the silly yahoos, who pay them. You are not the only one with this problem. Just do what most yahoos do: Get a gmail address on the side for anything, that is important. You don't have to give up your sbcglobal or yahoo address, and can still do your cybersex , but you will have one address, that is reliable and respectable. Until you get around to getting a free Gmail address and your subscriptions (and utility bills) switched over, just browse to http://webby.com/humor and see what Yahoo censored. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says . . . "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you' re about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born baby." "Really!? Like a new-born baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Eggs Until a good friend shared this tip with me, I did not know that fresh eggs can be whisked together and frozen for up to six months. I have been doing this for over a year now. I buy large eggs when they are on sale in the 18 pack cartons. I keep out about six for use in the fridge and then whisk together whites and yolks of the remaining 12 eggs until just combined. I then measure them into my ice ice-cube trays, using 3 Tbsp. of the mixture per segment (3 Tbsp. is equivalent to 1 large egg). Freeze until solid, then transfer cubes to a freezer bag for up to 6 months. Don't forget to date the freezer bag. When ready to use take out one or more and thaw in the refrigerator. By Bobbie G from Rockwall, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly." The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose?" "Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.
»Vine Wiesteria


[ view entry ] ( 343 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 48 )
Semestrial Account scam 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, June 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Some of the jokes today are longer than what I prefer.
However, make sure you read the blue Tech Support Pits
section. It just might save you a LOT of hassle!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1613 Shakespeare's Globe Theater burns down 
1767 British passes Townshend Revenue Act (Taxes on America)
1854 Gadsden Purchase (parts of Az, NM) from Mexico for $10 million
1891 100º F San Fransisco, CA (Not gullible Warming, 
just a hot summer)
1899 Brazo River in Texas floods 12 miles wide causing $10 mil damage
1913 Beginning of the 2nd Balkan War 
1916 Boeing aircraft flies for 1st time 
1927 1st flight from West Coast arrives in Hawaii 
1929 1st high-speed jet wind tunnel completed Langley Field Ca
1931 109º F (43º C), Monticello, Florida
1939 Dixie Clipper completes 1st commercial plane flight to Europe
1940 US passes Alien Registration Act requiring Aliens to register 
1946 British arrest 2,700 Jews in Palestine as alleged terrorists 
1949 South Africa begins implementing apartheid; no mixed marriages
1949 US troops withdraw from Korea after WW II 
1966 US bombs fuel storage facilities near N Vietnamese cities 
1967 Israel removes barricades, re-unifying Jerusalem
1970 US ends 2 month military offensive into Cambodia
1976 Seychelles gains independence from Britain 
1977 Supreme Court ruled out death penalty for rapists of adults
1990 Marla Maples father sues the National Enquirer for $12M 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. --- Eugene McCarthy "A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself, to keep his friends in countenance." --- Benjamin Franklin "Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water. Be still and allow the mud to settle." --- Michelangelo
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

Todd's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asked, "Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Todd replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Todd interrupted, pausing at the door, ready to sprint fro his life. "I haven't added them up yet."
Smart PC Fixer Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage! Faster and Smoother Running System. Fix Windows quickly and safely!

The Importance of Proofing ~ It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day. ~ There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting. ~ There are two important corrections to the information in the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental. ~ Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce. ~ In a recent edition, we referred to the past chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error. ~ Apology: I originally wrote, "Woodrow Wilson's wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House." I'm sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word "sheep." ~ The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Former NBA star--and current Golden State Warriors head coach--Mark Jackson and pastor of True Love Worship Center in Los Angeles was blackmailed about an extramarital affair, during which he emailed pictures of his genitals and himself without clothes to a "dancer". Sordid details are at The Smoking Gun. An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jacole Prince, 29, Kansas City, MO Jailed After Nearly Starving Child To Death, Forcing Girl To Live In Urine Soaked Utility Closet Jacole Prince, a 29-year-old Missouri woman was jailed Friday after she allegedly starved her daughter nearly to death - forcing her to live in a urine and feces soaked closet. According to police, officers were dispatched to Prince's apartment complex after receiving a report that a little girl was being forced to live in a closet. When officers arrived at the residence, two neighbors informed them that Prince left her apartment a short time earlier with her "two daughters." The two neighbors did not realize that Prince had three daughters, because they had never seen her eldest 10-year-old daughter. After performing a forced entry into the apartment, officers followed a strong odor of urine and feces to a small utility closet that was barely large enough to hold the hot water heater inside. The closet door had been tied shut, and a portable baby crib had been pushed against the door to keep it closed. When officers asked if anyone was inside the closet, the little girl locked inside answered "yes." Investigators say police discovered a 10-year-old girl inside who was standing in a puddle of her own feces and urine. The girl was severely malnourished, weighting just 32 pounds. The victim told detectives that she had never played in the outside world and was forced to urinate inside the closet because she was rarely let out to use the restroom. She told investigators that she was rarely allowed to eat meals, and that she was routinely beaten by her mother if she urinated in her pants. Detectives are not sure how long the victim had been confined to the closet, but neighbors did not know about the girl during the five-year period they had been acquainted with Prince. Neighbors told detectives that they interacted with Prince on a regular basis, however they were never allowed into her apartment. Prince has two additional daughters that are 3 and 8 years old. She admitted to detectives that she locked her daughter in the closet because she was embarrassed over how the child looked and was afraid that child protective services would be called. The victim was taken to Children's Mercy Hospital for treatment in what will be a very long recovery process, according to experts. Hospital records revealed that the little girl weighed 26 pounds when she visited the hospital in January, 2006. She had gained just 6 pounds during the past 6 years of her life, according to an arrest affidavit. School officials say the child was enrolled in kindergarten between 2006 and 2007 - but that they have no record of the child since then. Prince was booked into the Jackson County Jail and charged with felony counts of assault, child abuse and endangering the welfare of a child. Prince's bond has been set at $200,000.
Tech Support Pits: From: Bonnie Re: PayPal Semestrial Dear Webby I got this email claiming to be from PayPal about some "Semestrial Account Maintenance". MailWasher flagged it but I was curious. Could that be legit? It has an attachment. Bonnie Dear Bonnie It is NOT legit. Dump the attachment, and dump that email, preferably right on the server, without downloading it. PayPal NEVER sends anything with attachments, never has, never will. If there is an attachment, then the mail is NOT from PayPal. PayPal does not even send liks in email. If there is a link in the email, then the mail is NOT from PayPal. At times it may seem inconvenient, when PayPal does not have any easy links in email. There is a good reason for that. They want you to get used to the fact, that THEY never put links into emails. Links are fine for newsletters, but NEVER, when PayPal, banks or utilitis are involved. If a gullible family member did click on that and open the attached form, log onto PayPal, search for the link to contact them, and tell them all about it. They will block whatever is going on, and will assist you in changing your password. Naturally, you will need the old password and all security question information, and may even have to fax them some picture ID. You may have to inform your credit card companies and banks about it too. I have no idea what the attachment does to your computer, but most likely it installs a back-door and somebody has by now copied all your important data and all browser-stored passwords. Before changing all of those, devise some password strategy, for example, pick some ridiculous word like "Br0ccolator" and add two letters for whatever the password is for. For example, the PayPal password could be Br0ccolatorPP, for FaceBook, it could be "Br0ccolatorFB", and so on. That makes it so easy to remember, that you don't have to write it down or put it into any file or have the browser store it for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Ann for this one: FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues. The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital. Agent: Hello. I'd like to order 19 large pizzas and 3 cases of soda. Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered? Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital. Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital? Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent. Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent? Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is. Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital? Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You'll have to go around to the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas. Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents? Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here? Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent? Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving. Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this? Agent: We’ve collected a pool of cash. Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents? Agent: Yes. Pizza Man: With guns? Agent: That's right. Now, can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked. Pizza Man: No way. *Click*
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Saw from Sticking in Sappy Wood A little kerosene and used crankcase oil dripped onto its blade will keep a saw from sticking and binding as you cut hedges and other sappy wood. Source: Grandpa By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
CALIFORNIA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION Name: ___________________ Stage Name: __________________ Agent: ___________________ Attorney: ____________________ Therapist's Name: _________________ Sex: [ ] Male [ ] Female*[ ] Formerly Male [ ] Formerly Female [ ] Both *If female, indicate breast implant size: _______ Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? [ ] Yes [ ] No Please list brands of cell phones: ________. If you don't own a cell phone, please explain why you don't: ______________________________________________ (Use extra pages, if necessary) Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead [ ] Other ___________ Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply) [ ] Eating [ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Shaving (male or female) [X] Talking on the phone (already checked for your convenience) [ ] Lifting weights [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [ ] Snorting cocaine [ ] Smoking dope [ ] Shooting up [ ] Watching TV [ ] Reading Variety [ ] Having sex [ ] Surfing the net via laptop [ ] Discharging firearms / reloading Please indicate how many times, while driving, you expect to: [ ] a) Shoot at other drivers ___ [ ] b) Be shot at ___ If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately: [ ] a) Call the police to report the crime. [ ] b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high- speed chase. [ ] c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for your 911 call not going through. [ ] d) Call your therapist. In the event of an earthquake, you should: [ ] a) Stop your car. [ ] b) Keep driving and hope for the best. [ ] c) Immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones. [ ] d) Pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9. In the instance of rain, you should: [ ] a) Never drive over 5 MPH. [ ] b) Drive twice as fast as usual. [ ] c) You're not sure what "rain" is. Please indicate your current number of therapy sessions per week: ________ Are you presently taking any of the following medications? [ ] a) Prozac [ ] b) Zovirax [ ] c) Lithium [ ] d) Zanax [ ] e) Valium [ ] f) Medical pot [ ] g) Zoloft [ ] h) Oxycodin [ ] i) Crack [ ] j) Bath Salts [ ] k) GHC [ ] l) Good Stuff [ ] m) All of the above [ ] n) None of the above* *If none, please explain: __________________. Length of daily commute: [ ] a) Less than 1 hour* [ ] b) 1 hour [ ] c) 2 hours [ ] d) 3 hours [ ] e) 4 hours or more *If less than 1 hour, please explain: ____________________. When stopped by police, you should: [ ] a) Pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready. [ ] b) Try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the freeway. [ ] c) Have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit profit. When you see a woman driver with her arm extended out the window, it means: [ ] a) Her turn-signals are broken. [ ] b) She is giving an indication she intends to change lanes. [ ] c) She is drying her nails. Which part of your car will wear out first? [ ] a) The wiper blades [ ] b) The seat belts [ ] c) The horn Automatic door locks are good for: [ ] a) Security [ ] b) Convenience [ ] c) Messing with the heads of people trying to get in. The "bright" setting on your headlights is for: [ ] a) Dark, poorly lit roads [ ] b) Flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way [ ] c) Revenge Do you read English or Spanish? [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Don't know Do you recognize and understand any road signs other than McDonalds and Denny's? [ ] Yes [ ] No Has pot been legalized in California? [ ] Yes [ ] No [ ] Don't know [ ] Don't care Do you prefer cars with the turn signal factory pre-set for [ ] left [ ] right [ ] off When having sex while driving you should [ ] slow down [ ] speed up [ ] turn the turn signal on Are your mirrors adjusted for [ ] checking make-up [ ] checking the kids in the back seat [ ] your bald rear tires [ ] missing When you snort cocaine you should [ ] stomp on the gas [ ] stomp on the brake [ ] change lanes When rolling a joint while texting you should not [ ] change lanes [ ] have sex [ ] honk your horn [ ] not more than two of the above If you see an old sneaker on the freeway, do you [ ] slam on the brakes and hope you can sue the turkeys who rear-end you [ ] swerve to nail it with your tire and flip it onto somebody's winshield [ ] both If you are over the age of 75 or an illegal alien, you do not have to complete this test, you are entitled to drive.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ben Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to get, because the bed was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home. "Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him. "I don't have a tape measure." "You can use a dollar bill," I suggested, "each one is six inches long." "Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet, "I only have a ten."
»Amazing Specturms


[ view entry ] ( 275 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1471 )
Internet Explorwer Lock-Up 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 28

No rain all day, and often quite sunny. We'll get summer yet!
Rivers are rising, indicating rain plus snow melt. Nothing
serious, though, just some back yards and "illegals" in flood
zone have been flooded so far.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1820 Tomato is proven nonpoisonous 
1838 Britain's Queen Victoria crowned in Westminster Abbey
1905 Russian sailors mutiny aboard the battleship "Potemkin
1914 Assassination of the heir to the throne of Austria, Archduke 
Franz Ferdinand and his wife, Sophia, in Sarajevo by a Serbian. 
This incident was used by England as an excuse to start WWI
   (on the side of Serbia)
1918 1st flight between Hawaiian Islands 
1919 Treaty of Versailles ending WW I signed 
1928 Friedrich Schmiedl tried rocket mail in Austria (not profitable)
1950 North Korean forces capture Seoul, South Korea
1956 1st atomic reactor built for private research operates Chicago Ill 
1965 1st US ground combat forces in Vietnam authorized by 
     Pres Johnson
1983 NASA launches Galaxy-A 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Never eat more than you can lift. --- Miss Piggy Never confuse movement with action. --- Ernest Hemingway
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight years of being a housewife, I had taken a job in a restaurant. When I returned home after my first day at work, I gave my husband a big hug. He seemed to cling to me longer than usual. "Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" I asked. "No," came the reply. "But you smell so much like decent food, I hate to let you go."
Smart PC Fixer Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage! Faster and Smoother Running System. Fix Windows quickly and safely!

A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well then, let it read "Fred Brown died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven-word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, "Fred Brown died: Golf clubs for sale."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kellie Park, 20, West Haven, CT Jailed After Tormenting Baby Daughter, Sending Abuse Videos To Child's Father Kellie Park, a 20-year-old Connecticut woman was jailed after she sent her ex-boyfriend a series of videos that showed her abusing his 10-month-old daughter. According to police, an investigation was launched after the child's father reported that Park had abused their child and then sent videos showing the abuse. "Eat stuff off the floor," Park yelled at the baby in one video. "this is what your dad wants to make me do." In another video, the baby is seated in a high chair while Park asks if she's hungry. Park is then seen throwing food at the child. Park then places the baby into a portable crib and shakes it until the baby falls over the railing and onto the floor. Park is heard on the video singing "shake it up" as the baby tumbles out of the crib. Park also allegedly sent the father dozens of text messages threatening to harm the child. "I love abusing this kid," says Park. "I'll beat her fucking face in." Officers had been dispatched to Park's residence earlier that day after she threatened to harm herself. Investigators weren't aware at that time that she had recorded the videos because the father hadn't yet contacted police. Investigators tried to question Park at an area hospital, however she was sedated at the time. Park fled from the hospital a few hours later, however, she was tracked down at a New Haven residence and taken into custody. The father told police that he and Park had lived together for two years until a few months ago. That's when a judge issued a protective order barring contact between the parties. Park's mother stated that her daughter has been suffering from postpartum depression since the birth of her first child and hasn't taken her medication for several years. Park was booked into jail and charged with third-degree assault, cruelty to persons, risk of injury and threatening.
Tech Support Pits: From: Aaron Re: Internet Explorer locking up Dear Webby My Internet Explorer keeps locking up three or more times per day. I don't go to any risque sites, just normal stuff and banking. I am using W7. Yes, I know, I should have listened, but it is too late now. What can I do? Aaron Dear Aaron Most people have switched to FireFox and some went to Google Chrome. Chrome locks up the fewest times, but it is rather basic and takes some getting used to. FireFox is quite solid and as long as you have fewer than twenty tabs open, it won't lock up more than once a week. When FireFox stops responding, you can still use all other programs, including Crap Cleaner. Crap Cleaner cleans up all the useless crap that W7 wastes resources on. Usually when you run CrapCleaner FireFox starts responding again and is fine for another week. CrapCleaner is free in my Tool Box. If you have to axe FireFox, give it a minute or two to sort itself out, then re-open it. It will give you two windows, one of them white wit black text. That one allows you to take checkmarks off from the tabs, that you had open. You can take checkmarks off from the site(s), that most likely caused the problem. Keep in mind that you will probably have lost the log-in at banks or similar sites when you restarted. So knock those off first. You have to log in again anyway, and most likely it was a too slow response from a bank or similar place, that drove FireFox into lock-up. Knock off anything, that could have caused problems, or that you can easily get to anyway. Then, when you hit Restore, FireFox will work nice and fast again. Keep in mind, though, if you had Internet Radio and a few videos in tabs, they will all RE-start in active mode! Get ready to turn the volume down. All that stuff starting at the same time can make quite a racket, until you can open each tab and silence the videos. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Cajun says, "Dat is easy." and proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Cajun. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Cajun stares into space for awhile, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do y ou get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Cajun, so he says, "all right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Cajun stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred..... So, when I start?!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Power Strips to Eliminate Energy Waste If you seldom use your computer's peripherals, save money by plugging those devices into a separate plug-strip that you can switch 'on and off'. Even if you have your devices turned off, those little transformers are still drawing watts if plugged in. A separate plug strip (for those peripherals) turned 'off' will save you some money, not a tremendous amount, but still savings. Just switch it on when you need to use one of the items. By cajun62234 from Collinsville Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Each evening birdlover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation." Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor. "My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said. "That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An old farmer wins the ten million dollar lottery and is being interviewed. The reporter asked what he is going to do with all the money. "Oh, I reckon the first thing I'll do is go and pay a few bills." "And what about the rest?" the reporter continued. The farmer shrugs. "Well, I guess they'll just have to wait."
»Garlic Scapes


[ view entry ] ( 191 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1395 )
Not getting subscriptions 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, June 27

Wednesday morning the rain is scheduled to stop, and by
afternoon, we are supposed to get sunshine, and no rain
until Friday. The raspberries seem to like all this  rainy
weather, and there should be a nice crop some day.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1743 English defeat French at Dettingen 
1847 NY & Boston linked by telegraph wires
1915 100º F (38º C), Fort Yukon, Alaska
1929 1st color TV demo (NYC) 
1940 USSR returns to the Gregorian calendar
1950 Pres Truman orders Air Force & Navy into Korean conflict 
1950 US sends 35 military advisers to South Vietnam
1954 1st atomic power station opens (Obninsk, Russia) 
1954 CIA-sponsored rebels overthrow elected government of Guatemala 
1955 1st automobile seat belt legislation enacted (Illinois) 
1986 In referendum, Irish uphold ban on divorce 
1986 US informs New Zealand it will not defend it against attack 
1990 Salman Rushdie, condemned to death by Iran, contributes 
    $8600 to help their earthquake victims 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. --- Isaac Asimov Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --- Ambrose Bierce
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

Lina spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a remote township Lina attended a medical clinic. As the Maasai women there began to sing together, Lina was deeply moved by their hauntingly beautiful harmonies and wanted to always remember this moment and recorded it to share it with friends after getting home. With tears flowing down the cheeks, Lina turned to a local and asked, "Can you please tell me the translation of the words to this song?" The local looked at Lina and solemnly replied, "If you boil the water, you won't get the shits."
Smart PC Fixer Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage! Faster and Smoother Running System. Fix Windows quickly and safely!

A college dean was berating a veteran economics professor for having used the same tests for the past 35 years. "Don't you realize, professor, that the students have been sharing these tests for decades and that all of your students know EXACTLY what's on the test before they sit for it?" "Doesn't matter," replied the professor. "You must realize that the subject is economics. The answers are different each year!" -------------------- Yeah, I remember that. Economics is the science of explaining today why the predictions that you made yesterday won't come true tomorrow. With extra points for using big or Latin words.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to James Tindell, 27, in Portland, Oregon Convicted Robber Who Fled The State And Taunted Judge, Tracked Down Via His Facebook Account James Tindell, a 27-year-old Portland resident was jailed after he allegedly violated his probation, fled the state, then taunted the county judge on Facebook. That is until he was caught. According to police, Tindell was convicted of robbery in 2010, but was offered probation in lieu of a 70-month jail sentence if he complied with the rules of his probation. Instead of cooperating with his probation, Tindell allegedly stopped attending his drug treatment classes and checking in with his probation officer. Tindell then fled the state while using Facebook to complain about the judge and mock his probation officer. Investigators say Tindell began posting demeaning messages on Facebook about the Multnomah County Judge who sentenced him. He also taunted his probation officer by posting messages like "catch me if you can" and "the 1 who got away." Tindell's last little jab came in in May when he posted "poolside is where you can find me." Officers monitored Tindell's Facebook page, and discovered that he had fled to Alabama. They were able to narrow down Tindell's location after his girlfriend posted a sonogram photo that had the hospital's name printed on it. Tindell's probation officer asked prosecutors for a nationwide arrest warrant, which was granted and signed by Oregon Governor, John Kitzhaber. With the new warrant in place, Tindell was arrested after he was pulled over in Daphne, Alabama after an officer stopped him for speeding. Officials extradited Tindell back to Oregon where he stood before the judge he had previously taunted. Tindell began to weep in court and pleaded with the judge for leniency. Judge Eric. J. Block was so impressed by the crocodile tears, that he reduced his 70 month sentence to 30 months. Tindell was also ordered to reimburse the state $2,600 for transporting him back to Oregon.
Tech Support Pits: From: Joanie Re: Not getting my Humor Letter Dear Webby Hey there - First: I'm not getting the Humor Letter daily - this might be due to the fact my e-mail was hacked. I've gotten one copy so far this week. Joanie ******@yahoo.com Dear Joanie One copy per week is actually pretty good for yahoos. Most yahoos get it about once a month. Most of them have a Gmail account on the side, to get all of their subscriptions reliably. The Humor Letter is free, but imagine how people feel when a paid newsletter is trashed by Yahoo! Some people, for example Dianne, the lady who sends me the Bonus Links, has an ISP based email address, but also a yahoo address on the side. Just for amusement, she writes me whenever the Humor Letter shows up at her Yahoo address, which is not very often. So, just tell me your ISP based address, or a Gmail address, and I will add that. By the way, if you have a Gmail address on the side for subscriptions, you can still continue to use Yahoo for Yahoo groups or whatever the yahoos do. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Jenny was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work! But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. "Well, it was a great dinner, Jenny said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away." "I really enjoyed my evening." she went on to say. "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. It didn't work out," Jenny said. "Charley was too tired."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dog Tag for Medical Information I purchased a dog tag from PetSmart and on one side I have my name and phone number, on the other side I list O-POS / DIABETIC. It's attached to my key chain just in case of an emergency and can easily be seen. By CaroleeRose from Madison, AL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her three year old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope, you don't mind Johnny being in there." "No," said the doctor calmly, "From the sounds of it, he got into the poisons. He'll be quiet soon."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In the line ahead of me in the line at the airport customs station in Sydney, Australia, an Englishman was handed one of these immigration / visitation cards to fill out. I usueally fill them out on the plane, but he hadn't and was holding up the line. After the standard questions, like name, nationality, passport number, etc., he got to a question that asked, "Have you ever been imprisoned?" He pondered it for a minute, then wrote down, "I didn't realize this was still a requirement."
»Garlic Scapes


[ view entry ] ( 227 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 51 )
Warped Humour 

I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion,
I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning!

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did ....
she's 21 and her name's Lucy.

Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night.
Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me,
just because my girlfriend is 21and I'm 50.
It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job.
I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year!
You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

Just been to the gym.
They've got a new machine in.
Could only use it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick.
It's great though.
It provides me with everything I need -
KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.."

Question - Are there too many immigrants in America?
17% said yes; 11% said No;
72% said "I am not understanding the question please."

The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me
because she can't afford batteries.

A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead".
The operator says, "How do you know?"
He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated
but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."

My wife has been missing a week now.
The police said to prepare for the worst.
So, I had to go down to the charity shop to get all of her clothes back.

I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod
after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a good product name.

There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping center,
but they threw me out after I asked if I could look at some of the bomber jackets.

The Red Cross just knocked on my door
and asked if we could contribute towards the floods in Pakistan.
I said we'd love to,
but our garden hose only reaches to the driveway.





[ view entry ] ( 253 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 68 )
Can not see more than one folder 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, June 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1483 Richard III usurps English throne
1497 John Cabot recorded discovering Newfoundland
1797 Charles Newbold patents 1st cast-iron plow. He can't sell it to
           farmers, though, they fear effects of iron on soil! 
1940 End of USSR experimental calendar; Gregorian readopted 6/27
1941 Finland enters WW II against Russia 
1959 St Lawrence Seaway opened
1960 Madagascar gains independence from France
1974 Liz Taylor's 5th divorce (Richard Burton) 
1978 First dedicated oceanographic satellite, SEASAT 1, launched 
1990 122º F in Phoenix Arizona
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. --- Alfred Lord Tennyson
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies, "Yeah, it was the least I could do. We were married 35 years."
Smart PC Fixer Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage! Faster and Smoother Running System. Fix Windows quickly and safely!

Anni and her family took a tour of England. They joined a group of tourists on a bus to visit Runnymede, England. They gather around the guide who says, "This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta." Anni pushing her way to the front of the crowd asks, "When did that happen?" "1215," answers the guide. Anni looked at her watch and said, "Shoot! Just missed it by a half hour!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brittany Hill, 26, Dallas, Texas Jailed After Attempting To Sell Baby Using Classified Ad Brittany Hill, a 26-year-old Texas woman was jailed after she allegedly tried to sell her 4-month-old son using a classified ad. According to police, a woman contacted Dallas police after she drove from out of state to purchase the child, but got cold feet and called detectives instead. Investigators say the would-be purchaser, who has not been identified, drove to Dallas after Hill posted a classified ad offering to sell the child for $4,000. As police were launching an investigation, managers at Hill's apartment complex entered her apartment to collect rent and found the child alone in a crib. Hill was taken into custody when she returned to the apartment several hours later. Hill was booked into the Dallas County Jail and charged with child abandonment with intent to return. The child was placed into the custody of child services.
Tech Support Pits: From: John Re: Can not see more than one folder Dear Webby Somehow I don't get your answer. All I see is one folder, and no way to drag stuff to another one. Do I need a second monitor for that? John Dear John A second monitor will help, especially if you use Windows 7, but it is not at all necessary. Open a Windows File Explorer Right-click START and select Explore Somehow you seem to have set it to show full screen. There are two ways to fix that. One is to double-click on the top frame bar. You will see the explorer window shrink a tiny little bit (or more) from the edges of the screen. Now you can grab an edge with the mouse, and drag the edge to where you want it to be. The other method is to look at the top right hand corner. You will see three little boxes there, The middle one of those will let you reduce the size of that window to the size it was the last time, when you reduced the size. Play around with those tricks for a bit. Then resize an Explorer window to occupy a quarter of the screen. Now open an additional Explorer window. Reduce that one to also occupy just a quarter of the screen. Eventually Windows will learn your preferences and open new Explorer windows in your preferred size. You can have as many Explorer windows open as you want, and drag files from one to another. SHIFT + Drag moves files (deletes them from where they were) CTRL + Drag copies them (does not delete them from the source) Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Quotes By A Deputy Sheriff In Wisconsin ** ** "So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" ** "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." ** "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." ** "In God we trust, all others are suspects." ** "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." ** "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Tissues In Baby Wipe Container If you like to carry a box of tissue in your car as I do, the box seems to always get messed up. I have found that if you use a large empty baby wipe container, you can put the tissues in the container and push the first tissue through the top. If they are the pop up tissues, then the next one will be ready for your use next time. Put a label on it saying tissues. Then you never have to worry about a tissue box falling apart and sending tissues everywhere. By Lana from Show Low, AZ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When Little Johnny's family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked him how he liked the new place. "It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Billy has his own room, and Jenny has her own room. But poor Dad is still stuck with Mom."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Texas rancher, visiting a South Dakota farmer friend, asked him to show him his farm. After seeing the 1,000 acre spread, the Texan bragged that down home he could get into his car, drive all day, and by evening would not have gotten to the distant point of his ranch. The South Dakotan simply replied, "You know, I had a car like that once."
»Motorcycle Hall of Fame


[ view entry ] ( 178 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 19 )
Rules for Cat 







[ view entry ] ( 187 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 63 )


American Presidents In Uniform 







[ view entry ] ( 237 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 14 )


Open multiple windows 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, June 25

Sunday evening we had a break in the rain, and everybody
in the area rushed out to do some overdue mowing.
Yes, me too. The whole area was buzzing with the noise 
of lawn mowers, and some planes were towing gliders up
high enough, so that they could use the updraft to climb 
above the cumulo-nimbus clouds.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1178 5 Canterbury monks report something exploding on Moon 
1630 Fork introduced to American dining by Gov Winthrop
1798 US passes Alien Act allowing president to deport 
   dangerous aliens 
1876 Custer & 7th Cavalry wiped out by Sioux & 
   Cheyenne at Little Big Horn
1919 1st advanced monoplane airliner flight (Junkers F13) 
1929 Pres Hoover authorizes building of Boulder Dam (Hoover Dam) 
1942 British RAF staged a 1,000 bomb raid on Bremen Germany
1950 Korean conflict begins; N Korea invades S Korea 
1961 Iraq announces that Kuwait is a part of Iraq (Kuwait disagrees)
1962 Supreme Court rules NY school prayer unconstitutional 
1990 120º F in Phoenix Arizona  
1991 Slovenia & Croatia declare independence from Yugoslavia 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. --- Alfred Lord Tennyson One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget. --- Franklin P. Jones
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

Mark, took his beat-up pickup truck to the insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection, the teen-age receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. When she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Mark replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Mark. "Mr. Evans, I've been in insurance a while," she explained, "but I've never heard of a Ford Fossil."
Smart PC Fixer Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage! Faster and Smoother Running System. Fix Windows quickly and safely!

"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son." "OK: He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery." "How can you say all that without even meeting him?" "I thought you said he's 13?"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Whitney Hill, 24, in Statesville, North Carolina Health Care Worker Jailed After Abandoned Mental Patient Was Found Eating Trash, Dirty Diaper Whitney Hill, a 24-year-old professional caretaker was jailed Monday after she allegedly left a mentally disabled woman alone for hours, who was found eating trash and a dirty diaper. According to The Statesville Police Department, Hill, who was employed with M & M of the Carolinas, was hired to care for a 21-year-old mentally disabled woman. During the hours Hill was paid to care for the woman, she allegedly left the victim alone outside of her residence for hours while she was at a friend's house. A neighbor at the apartment complex where Hill resided called police after she noticed that the woman was left alone for almost 7 hours. When officers arrived on the scene, they found the victim sitting in a pile of trash. She had been eating trash and a dirty diaper, according to witnesses at the scene. Investigators say the woman was physically ill and was taken to Iredell County Hospital where she was treated and released into the custody of her mother. Officers found Hill at her residence with her boyfriend later the same day. Officials say Hill was not authorized to bring patients to her residence. Hill was booked into jail and charged with neglect of a disabled person with injury.
Tech Support Pits: From: John Re: Open multiple folders Dear Webby Is it possible in Windows home to view the contents of multiple folders in one window? I am converting the format of music files which are organized into folders and it would be helpful to view all of the music files at once. Thanks, John Dear John Just open multiple file Explorer windows. For example one to show the Music folder on the C: drive, one to show the MP3 folder on the E: drive, one to show the MiscMusic folder on the CD and one to show the Music folder on the USB hard drive. Then you can drag stuff back and forth or into a staging folder for assembling a DVD. If you want to view ALL files of a type, for example MP3, on all drives, do a SEARCH and look for *.mp3 , all drives. On XP that works fairly fast, but with W7 plan on going to do the dishes in the meantime, especially if you havelots of music files. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Walter at http://stonecarver.com The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The raising of the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Gravel From Your Lawn Edge Getting the stones and gravel out of the edge of your lawn which were dumped by highway trucks for ice and snow is a tedious job. I found that using a shop vac is much easier and faster and does a very nice job. By Frances from Bath, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and come back and see me in a week." Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing!!!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ann The company I work for sometimes puts on what they call "Lunch and Learn" seminars during the employees' lunchtime, dealing with a variety of physical and mental health issues. If the seminar lasts beyond the normal lunch hours, we're supposed to get managerial approval to attend. So, last week, this flier came around: LUNCH AND LEARN SEMINAR: WHO'S CONTROLLING YOUR LIFE? (Get your manager's permission before attending)
»West Texas


[ view entry ] ( 195 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.6 / 11 )
Mary Ann Peeling 

Dawn Wells Peeling a Potato







[ view entry ] ( 227 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1079 )


How easy is it to use two monitors? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, June 24

Interesting that nobody was interested in Guilt-Free Deserts.
All of you must be at or below your ideal weight. 
Congratulations!
If you change your mind, let me know, and I will email you 
the link.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
451 10th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
1314 Battle of Bannockburn; Scotland regains independence 
    from England
1322 Jews are expelled from France 
1509 Henry VIII crowned King of England 
1540 Henry VIII divorces his 4th wife, Anne of Cleves
1793 1st republican constitution in France adopted 
1898 American troops, drive Spanish forces from  
    La Guasimas Cuba 
1930 1st radar detection of planes, Anacostia DC
1947 Flying saucers sighted over Mount Rainier by 
    pilot Ken Arnold
1948 Soviet Union begins Berlin Blockade, 
    so Berlin Airlift begins
1966 Bombay-NY Air India flight crashes into Mont Blanc, 117 die 
1975 Eastern 727 crashes at JFK Airport NY, kills 113
Today is Scotland's Bannockburn Day, since 1314
Todoay in 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. --- Franklin P. Jones The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. --- George Bernard Shaw Sanity is a madness put to good use. --- George Santayana
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

A priest and pastor from the local churches are standing by the side of the road pounding a sign into the ground that reads: "The End Is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" "Get lost, you religious nuts!" yelled a driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. The pastor turns to the priest and asks, "Do you think the sign should maybe just say 'Bridge Out'?"
Smart PC Fixer Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage! Faster and Smoother Running System. Fix Windows quickly and safely!

> From Frank My job is in the Aerospace Industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, "Defense Contractor." The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me and asked, "So, what kind of fences do you put up mostly? Chain-link or slat?"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Starr Burgess, 32, Pontiac, Michigan Tried To Burn The Tattoo Artist's House Down Starr Burgess, a 32-year-old Michigan woman was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly tried to burn down a tattoo artist's home over a bad tattoo. According to Oakland County police, Burgess and several friends were drinking heavily Tuesday morning when a tattoo artist agreed to provide Burgess with a tattoo. At some point during the process, the tattoo artist passed out or fell asleep on the job, which ruined the tattoo. Burgess and her friends left the tattoo artist's residence, but returned later and demanded a refund. When the confrontation turned into an argument, Burgess left the residence stating that she was "going to blow up the house and burn this bitch down." Burgess allegedly walked to a nearby gas station, bought fuel and used it to set the tattoo artist's house on fire. Seven people, including two children, awoke to discover that the house had been set on fire. Witnesses heard Burgess state "I told you I was going to burn the bitch down" as she fled from the scene. Burgess was booked into jail and charged with arson. Her bond has been set at $25,000.
Tech Support Pits: From: Barb Re: Can you use two monitors? Dear Webby I picked my laptop by weight, because I got to lug it around all over the place. Naturally, the screen is terribly small, and to make things worse, it is "wide screen", orlike you call them, "sawed off". It is to get any real work done on it. How easy is it to run a real monitor on the side of it, when I am home or aat the office? Thanks, Barb Dear Barb Not difficult at all. Just plug any monitor in on the laptop. Windows will recognize it and let you choose, which one is the primary, and which way you want to orient them. You can also plug in a real keyboard, that is easier on your wrist tha the cramped laptop keyboard. Then you can turn the laptop on it's ear and tell windows to rotate the display. That gives you a tall, but narrow display on the side of the big monitor. You will be surprised how handy that side-screen is! It won't have the same resolution as your big monitor, but plenty good enough for a notepad or scratch-pad for calculating stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A doctor said to his patient: "You have a slight heart condition, but I wouldn't worry about it." "Really, Doc?" the patient replied. "Well, if you had a slight heart condition I wouldn't worry about it either."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Track Of Website Information I got tired of losing scraps of notes I made on popular websites. I bought a very small spiral tablet, labeled it Websites to Visit, and put it near my TV and radio. Now I note all the interesting stuff in one place. I can browse the sites when I have time. By Barbara from Park Ridge, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their infants. As I was demon- strating how to wrap a newborn, a young Asian couple turned to me and said, "You mean we should wrap the baby like an egg roll?" "Yes," I replied, "that's a good analogy." "I don't know how to make egg rolls," another mother said anxiously. "Can I wrap my baby like a burrito?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Johnny was rough housing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Johnny, I know you love Wilbur, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone really huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?" Little Johnny thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Agnes was here!"
» 100 Years Ago


[ view entry ] ( 165 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.2 / 17 )
Selecting a monitor 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, June 22
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



By the time you read this, I will be on my way to Calgary.
I have to go for injections into my eyes again. That means no 
Saturday newsletter tomorrow.
By Sunday I'll see the keyboard again.

Got some sad news today. Long time friend and subscriber and
frequent contributor Martin died today. Apparently he went 
for some overdue surgery to have a cyst removed, and it 
seems there was one medical blooper after another, 
which resulted in kidney failure, and ultimately, his death. 
I will miss him.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1497 Antitax insurrection in Cornwall suppressed at Blackheath 
1611 Henry Hudson & son set adrift in Hudson Bay by mutineers 
1772 Slavery outlawed in England 
1807 British board USS Chesapeake, a provocation leading to War of 1812 
1808 Zebulon Pike reaches his peak
1815 2nd abdication of Napoleon (after Waterloo)
1847 Doughnut created 
1848 Barnburners (anti-slavery) party nominates Martin Van Buren for Pres 
1851 Fire destroys part of SF 
1873 Prince Edward Island joins Canada 
1910 1st airship with passengers Zeppelin Deutscheland
1911 King George V of England crowned 
1936 Harry Froboess dives 110 m from airship into Bodensee
1940 France falls to Nazi Germany; armistice signed, France disarmed 
1941 Finland invades Karelia 
1941 Germany, Italy & Romania declare war on Soviet Union
1983 1st and only time a satellite is retrieved from orbit by Space Shuttle 
1990 Florida passes a law prohibits wearing a thong bathing suit 
1991 Underwater volcano, Mount Didicas, erupts in Phillipines 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded. --- Yogi Berra A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. --- Saki The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less. --- Brendan Francis.
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills, If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time, If you can overlook people taking things out on you when, if through no fault of yours, something goes wrong, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can face the world without lies and deceit, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax at any given moment, If you can always sleep without the aid of drugs, Then,........ You are probably a dog.
Guilt Free Deserts! These desserts had to be truly healthy! Guilt-Free Desserts: Your Guide to Better Baking Featuring 50 All-Natural, Fail-Proof, Gluten Free & Low-Glycemic Desserts from "The healing Gourmet". Not only will you have 50 new dessert recipes, you will also have all the information you need to makeover your favorite family desserts, with just a few simple substitutions to make them healthy and/or lower cost. You deserve Guilt Free Deserts!

A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter. As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?" "Are you trying to be funny?" she replied. "No, I really wish you had" he sighed. "I left the tickets on it."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to David Groover, 43, Osceola, Florida David Groover - School Principal - Charged With Grooving, ahem Selling Drugs Out Of His Home David Groover, a 43-year-old elementary school principal was jailed after he was caught selling drugs out of his home. According to the Osceola County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched after police received a complaint about drug activity at Groover's residence. During an the investigation, Groover reportedly sold drugs to several undercover officers at his home. Grover was apprehended, and a search of his home recovered methamphetamine, marijuana, GHB, and drug paraphernalia. Investigators say Groover had been an employee for the Osceola Public School District since 1992. He has held several positions with the district including teacher, dean, assistant principal, and most recently a principal of Partin Settlement Elementary School. The district stated that he is being reassigned to a position that does not involve students, and that they will launch their own investigation pending results of the law enforcement investigation. According to court records, in 2009, Groover was arrested for driving while intoxicated, but he was acquitted by a jury three months after his arrest. Groover was booked into jail and charged with delivery of methamphetamine, delivery of GHB-controlled substance, possession of methamphetamine, possession of GHB-controlled substance, possession of controlled substance - stanozolol, possession of cannabis under 20 grams and possession of drug paraphernalia. His career is now finished.
Tech Support Pits: From: Bob Re: What kind of monitor? Dear Webby I seem to have misplaced the note I made for the screen resolution you suggested for a monitor. I have an old Dell 17" and want to get a larger flat screen. Thanks, Bob ps: Thanks for the Birthday Wish. At least made it to 79! Bob Dear Bob Get the biggest 4:3 monitor, that you can afford. It may take a bit of searching, and being undiplomatic with sales staff, who want to push wide aspect ratio monitors. When they tell you, that 4:3 monitors are no longer available, tell them they are incompetent liars and where to stuff the wide aspect ratio crap. Often you can find 4:3 ratio monitors on http://pricegrabber.com. I got mine, a 22" Lenovo 4:3 with 1600 x 1200 resolution there for under $200 a couple of years ago. It was a "refurb". From the looks of it, somebody did not read the instructions and returned it. I read the instructions, and it works just fine. You may have to check there frequently, because 4:3 monitors are always in demand and bargains don't last. If you see one, 21" or larger with 4:3 aspect ratio, grab it fast. You can also go in through the Business entrance at DELL. Just pretend you are a big corporation. In there they have not only 4:3 but even 3:4 portrait monitors for word processing. Don't settle for a 16:9 ratio wide screen, unless the height is at least 1200 pixels, and you can rotate it to portrait format. Windows has no problem at all with displaying in portrait format. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create Stick Sculptures to Attract Birds This tip is "for the birds" in your garden. I don't throw away large sticks that fall during storms, instead I keep them and use them to make stick sculptures for the birds. They add whimsy to my garden and the birds LOVE to land on them because after all they are sticks from real trees. I started with a plain garden hook and just attached the sticks as I found them and it's an ever changing sculpture. You can add birdhouses or anything you want to, but I guarantee you that the birds will land on it and land on it often! By Jeanasina from Richfield, MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argu- ment. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one. "There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor. They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order. "Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us." The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?" "That's right," he called back, "two pints."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A rather elderly gentleman (mid-nineties) walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is very well-dressed, smelling slightly of a good after-shave, hair well-groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel. He presents a suave, well-looked-after image. Seated at the bar is an elderly fine-looking lady (mid-eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits along-side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, good- looking, do I come here often?"
» CloudScapes


[ view entry ] ( 273 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1313 )
Avoid office Clipboard 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 21

Tommorrow morning I have to go for injections into my
eyes again. That means no Saturday newsletter.
By Sunday I'll see the keyboard again.


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1498 Jews are expelled from Nurenberg Bavaria
1633 Galileo Galilei is forced by Inquisition to "abjure, curse, &
           detest" his Copernican heliocentric views 
1919 Germans scuttle their own fleet 
1948 1st stored computer program run, on Manchester Mark I 
1989 Supreme Court rules ok to burn US flag as a political expression
1990 25,000 die in Iranian Earthquake 
1990 US House of Reps vote 254-177 to stop 
    US flag burning, doesn't pass 
Hong Kong, Taiwan : Dragon Boat Festival 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small things they show themselves as they are. --- Nicholas Chamfort You can fool too many of the people too much of the time. --- James Thurber I think politics is based on that concept.
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

A little boy was afraid of dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure . He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him." she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called "Jesus? If you're REALLY out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
Guilt Free Deserts! These desserts had to be truly healthy! Guilt-Free Desserts: Your Guide to Better Baking Featuring 50 All-Natural, Fail-Proof, Gluten Free & Low-Glycemic Desserts from "The healing Gourmet". Not only will you have 50 new dessert recipes, you will also have all the information you need to makeover your favorite family desserts, with just a few simple substitutions to make them healthy and/or lower cost. You deserve Guilt Free Deserts!

"Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One moment, please." Pause. "I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guilt." "No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild." "I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guilt." "Not *Theodore*! *Theater*! The word is *theater*. T-H-E-A-T-E-R!" "That, *sir*, is NOT the way we spell Theodore."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jacqueline Toro-Williams, 37, in Akron, Ohio Pimped Out 11-Year-Old Daughter Jacqueline Toro-Williams, a 37-year-old Ohio woman has been jailed after she allegedly pimped out her daughter, beginning when the girl was just 11 years old. According to police, Toro-Williams pimped her daughter out "several times a day" to "middle aged" men, beginning when she was 11 and 12 years old The victim, who is now 16 years old and pregnant with her third child, stated that her mother drove her around to different apartment complexes and forced her to engage in sex with various men in exchange for money or drugs. The girl also stated that she was usually sold for $40 - less if cocaine was negotiated into the deal. Investigators say the victim fled to Mexico with a man she thought would take her away from the lifestyle. But once she arrived in Mexico, she was again forced into prostitution. The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children received a tip in October, 2011 that the girl was in Mexico. The center worked through the US Embassy to have the girl returned to Akron last February. She now resides with a foster family. Toro-Williams was booked into the Summit County Jail and charged with compelling prostitution and promoting prostitution. She remains held in lieu of $100,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits: From: Carrie Re: How to get rid of the Office Clipboard? Dear Webby I find the Office Clipboard a royal nuisance. If I have a spreadsheet or two open, but work in a graphics program, where I need to do a lot of copying and pasting, a lot of that winds up littered into the spreadsheets. How do I stop that? Carrie Dear Carrie In Excel click on VIEW TOOLBARS take the checkmark off CLIPBOARD With most versions of Office that should do the trick. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Euro-Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian, and every detail is coordinated by the Swiss. Euro-Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, the police German, and it's organized by the Italians.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Laundry Detergent Caps For Bathroom Cups The house I live in does laundry a lot. And they didn't recycle until I showed them the error of their ways. So, instead of tossing the laundry detergent caps in the bin, I put them to good use. Here is an example of the things you can do with these wonderful lids! By Poor But Proud from Sweet Home, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember the faithful dead... As the church grew quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned to his father and said excitedly, "Dad, you have some of their CDs!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Baking Cookies With Your Cat 1. Look in cookbook for cookie recipe. 2. Get cup of coffee. 3. Get cat off of cookbook. 4. Find that special recipe. 5. Get cat's nose out of coffee mug. 6. Go to fridge and get eggs. 7. Get dry ingredients from cupboard. 8. Break eggs in small bowl. 9. Sift dry ingredients in large bowl. 10. Answer the phone. 11. Cat ate eggs; get more from fridge. 12. Get cat out of flour bowl and dust cat off. 13. Get Band-Aids for scratches on hands. 14. Throw flour out and get more. 15. Preheat oven for cookies. 16. Glare at cat with desire to bake cat now. 17. Watch cat run for cover into bathroom. 18. Flour the counter to roll out cookie dough. 19. Run to bathroom to investigate loud crashing sound. 20. Cat has toilet paper all over floor and your personal bathroom things knocked over on top of the counter. 21. Yell at cat. Cat falls in toilet bowl. 22. Take cat out of toilet to dry cat off. 23. Get bandages to cover more scratches on arms and legs. 24. Clean up bathroom. 25. Run to kitchen to see what cat is doing now. 26. Get wet cat off floured counter in kitchen. 27. Try to pick cat hairs out of flour. 28. Step on cat's tail and get bitten. 29. Get coat, car keys, and go to store to buy cookies. 30. Casually fling cat onto the roof of a passing Winnebago 31. Act surprised when you find that the cat has made it home before you.
» Native Art


[ view entry ] ( 240 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 1232 )
How to view and clear Office clipboard 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, June 20

If you want the results and schedules for the Euro 2012
soccer games, try WolrdTimeBuddy

From Dr Bill re bagpipes:
I found over the years quite to my surprise that bagpipes 
stir a martial spirit within me - combination no doubt of 
Scottish and Irish ancestry, and if the neural memory theory 
is correct it could account for my sudden desire at the 
sound of the pipes to kill an Englishman
Bill

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1402 Battle of Angora (Ankara)-Tatars defeat Turkish Army
1567 Jews are expelled from Brazil by order of regent Don Henrique 
1791 King Louis XVI caught trying to escape French Revolution
1793 Eli Whitney applies for a cotton gin patent 
1819 Savannah becomes 1st steamship to cross any ocean (Atlantic) 
1837 Queen Victoria at 18 ascends British throne following death of
           uncle King William IV Ruled for 63 years ending in 1901 
1867 Pres Andrew Johnson announces purchase of Alaska
1871 Ku Klux Klan trials began in federal court in Oxford Miss 
1963 US & USSR agree to set up "Hot Line" 
1977 Oil enters Trans-Alaska pipeline exits 38 days later at Valdez 
        still doing that just nicely today
1990 40,000-50,000 die in a (7.6) earthquake in Iran 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent. --- Aldous Huxley Baking a wedding cake causes fewer headaches than cutting it. --- Socratex Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. --- Albert Camus When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. --- Marquis de la Grange Most people don't want advice. They want agreement with their preconceived notions. --- Socratex
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Great," Sue exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Wonderful," Mary replied. "I'll go with you."
Guilt Free Deserts! These desserts had to be truly healthy! Guilt-Free Desserts: Your Guide to Better Baking Featuring 50 All-Natural, Fail-Proof, Gluten Free & Low-Glycemic Desserts from "The healing Gourmet". Not only will you have 50 new dessert recipes, you will also have all the information you need to makeover your favorite family desserts, with just a few simple substitutions to make them healthy and/or lower cost. You deserve Guilt Free Deserts!

My aunt's neighbor in New York had a beautiful black cat, named Felix, who spent his days outside and came indoors at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared. The neighbor searched for him in vain for several days. The following spring,, however, Felix reappeared, looking healthy and clean. She figured he's been out sowing his wild oats. Everything was back to normal until that autumn, when Felix disappeared again. The next spring, he returned. Perplexed, my aunt's friend began asking neighbors for clues. Finally, she rang the bell of an older couple who lived down the street. "A black cat?" the woman said. "Oh, yes! My husband and I hated to see him out in the cold, so we bought a cat carrier. We take him to Florida with us every winter."
Click on the picture for the large version Head for shore!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Frank Rega, 56, of Monroe, Connecticut Man drove off with woman on fender Police in Connecticut said a man struck a woman with his van and drove off with her stuck on the driver's side fender. Investigators said a 23-year-old Bridgeport woman was standing outside a disabled car on Stratford Avenue when she was struck by the van driven by Frank Rega, 56, of Monroe and became stuck on the driver's side fender. Police said Rega continued to drive away with the woman hanging over the front of the vehicle. They said he ignored her cries for him to stop, even when she was able to reach into his window and hit him in the face. Police said the woman eventually fell off the vehicle and was treated at St. Vincent's Medical Center. Rega was arrested at his home hours after the March 15 incident and told officers he was acting in self-defense. Rega has been charged with first-degree reckless endangerment, reckless driving, evading responsibility and driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, police said. He was released on $500 bond. You can figure out yourself why the extremely low bail bond and no mug-shot anywhere on the net.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: How to view Excel Clipboard contents Hi Webby how do I open and clear the clip board. I have used at times when scanning and such but have never been able to see what it is. Thanks for all your help over the years one of my favorite things in your letter are the pictures I have been collecting them since 1998 (not all but selected ones) and have a lot of them. Since we cannot afford to travel much pictures help me to see this beautiful earth. I sure like it when they say where they are from. Thanks and good health to you. Ron. P. Dear Ron In Excel click on VIEW TOOLBARS CLIPBOARD When you hover over the icons in the clipboard, they usually tell you the content, if the content is data. The right-most of the tiny icons on the clipboard is for clearing all entries. It takes a bit of playing with the clipboard to make it useful to you. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters of the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent, having had an exceedingly profitable season, seeing the dejected couple looking in the window was inspired to a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I bet that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer!" He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and to book a room in a five star hotel. They, as expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" the travel agent asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me." "What would that be?" asked the travel agent. "Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Can Opener To clean and disinfect the wheel of a can opener, just use white vinegar and an old tooth brush. Dip the toothbrush in the vinegar and scrub clean. Swish in hot soapy water and rinse. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled s treets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. PS. Sure is hot down here.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Cindy The students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "Both ears with one shot? How far away did they stand?"
» Most Imposing Wooden Structure


[ view entry ] ( 171 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 391 )
The Ultimate Ethnic Joke 

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans all walk into a very fine restaurant –

"I'm sorry," says the maÃtre d', after scrutinizing the group........."You can't come in here without a Thai. "





[ view entry ] ( 181 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 54 )


Get rid of Excel Clipboard tally nuisance 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, June 19

If you want the results and schedules for the Euro 2012
soccer games, try WolrdTimeBuddy

Nobody was interested enough in the Linux course to actually
try it out, 
and nobody figured their pictures or data on memory
cards were worth saving. It sure is not easy trying to find
something, that you need or want!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
240 -BC- Eratosthenes estimates circumference of Earth
1862 Slavery outlawed in US territories 
1864 CSS "Alabama" sunk by USS "Kearsarge" off Cherbourg, France
1865 All slaves in Texas freed 
1917 After WW I King George V ordered members of British royal family to
           dispense with German titles & surnames, they take the name Windsor 
1961 Kuwait regains complete independence from Britain
1967 Muhammad Ali is convicted for refusing induction in US Army 
1976 US Viking 1 goes into Martian orbit after 10-month flight from Earth 
1981 European Space Agency's Ariane carries 2 satellites into orbit 
1981 India's APPLE satellite, 1st to be stabilized on 3 axes, launched 
1988 In Santa Barbara, CA, a team of 32 divers finish cycling underwater
           on a standard tricycle, to complete 116.66 mi in 75 hrs 20 mins 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. --- John Stuart Mill Look wise, say nothing, and grunt. Speech was given to conceal thought. --- Sir William Osler
Fix PC Errors with Ease. Easily Scan, Repair and Speed up PC. Registry Easy™ is the award-winning Windows Registry Cleaner that helps you scan your PC. Safely clean the errors and invalid entries, which cause system slowdown, freezing and crashing! Repair registry problems easily! Improve your PC performance! Get Registry Easy™now!

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks errode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. "However there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and announced: "Wedding cake!"
Guilt Free Deserts! These desserts had to be truly healthy! Guilt-Free Desserts: Your Guide to Better Baking Featuring 50 All-Natural, Fail-Proof, Gluten Free & Low-Glycemic Desserts from "The healing Gourmet". Not only will you have 50 new dessert recipes, you will also have all the information you need to makeover your favorite family desserts, with just a few simple substitutions to make them healthy and/or lower cost. You deserve Guilt Free Deserts!

"I had the strangest dream last night," Morris was telling his psychiatrist. "I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing. In fact I woke up immediately, and couldn't get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream." The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: "A Coke? You call that a breakfast?"
Click on the picture for the large version More fun than a barrow full of monkeys!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brandi Baumgardner, 38 in Beaver Springs, Pa. Injected Teen Daughter 200 Times With Heroin Over Two-Year Period Brandi Baumgardner, a 38-year-old Pennsylvania woman has been jailed after she allegedly got her daughter heavily addicted to heroin and other drugs, beginning when child was just 12-years-old. According to police, an investigation was launched in August when the victim checked herself into a drug rehab center claiming that she was too strung out to inject herself with heroin any longer. Investigators say the victim's mother, Brandi Baumgardner, began smoking marijuana with her daughter when the child was just 12-years-old. Baumgardner then introduced the child to heroin at age 14, and is accused of injecting her daughter with the substance when the girl was too weak to inject herself. The girl admitted to detectives that she used a wide variety of drugs with her mother, including marijuana, crack cocaine, heroin and various prescription medications. She also testified that she would become so "dope-sick" her mother would inject her, and ultimately injected her with heroin approximately 200 times over a two-year period. Robert Thomas Hannick, a 22-year-old Beaver Springs resident has also been arrested on charges that he had sex with the underage girl in exchange for drugs. The victim told detectives that Hannick would assist her mother in injecting her with heroin. Hennick allegedly had sex with the girl three times and engaged in sexual acts on a fourth occasion. The victim also told detectives that her mother would take her to a hospital and then complain about a fake illness in order to obtain prescription medications. At one point, mother and daughter allegedly shared Fentanyl patches. Fentanyl is a highly addictive and powerful pain medication that is considered to be more potent than heroin. Detectives interviewed Baumgardner, who confessed to supplying her daughter with drugs "when she was sick." Baumgardner also admitted that she and her daughter had "drug problems." Baumgardner was booked into jail and charged with endangering the welfare of a child and corruption of minors. Her next court appearance has been scheduled for June 21. Hannick was charged with statutory sexual assault, aggravated indecent assault and corruption of minors. The victim is receiving ongoing treatment and counseling at the drug rehabilitation center she checked into.
Tech Support Pits: From: Garry Re: Excel Clipboard nuisance Dear Webby, How do I stop Excel from showing that nuisance history of stuff I have copied before? When copying a whole bunch of cells to new places, that's really a nuisance. Garry Dear Garry Open the Options in the clipboard and uncheck every item in there, then hit the X in the top right hand corner to close it. No more silly clipboard history taking up valuable screen space exactly on top of what you need to see. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We can get a new cat tomorrow."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sponge Eyeshadow Applicator for Cleaning Keyboard I have found the best item for cleaning around keys on the computer. A clean, sponge eyeshadow applicator. I always have extras of these (I use brushes instead). I like them because they hold up much better than Q tips, and they can get into the little crevices. I dampen mine a tad and boy it really gets the crud up! When you are done, you can almost roll the fuzzies off of the applicator and it can be reused. By Joynchocolate Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Our co-worker kept trying to get her mother to fly out for a visit. "No way am I getting on an airplane," was the in- evitable answer. "Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air." "I know," said her mother. "I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
How is playing the bagpipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don't have to be good to get everyone's attention. ---------------- Personally, I quite like the sound of bagpipes, from about five miles away.
» Strangle or Choke


[ view entry ] ( 219 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1350 )
Best VOIP solution 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, June 18

If you want the results and schedules for the Euro 2012
soccer games, try WolrdTimeBuddy

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1667 The Dutch fleet sails up the Thames River and threatens London.
1778 British Redcoats evacuate Phila
1812 War of 1812 begins as US declares war against Britain
1815 Battle of Waterloo; Napoleon defeated by Wellington & Blucher 
1903 1st transcontinental auto trip begins in SF; arrives NY 3-mo later
1953 Egypt proclaimed a republic, General Neguib becomes president 
1956 Last of foreign troops leaves Egypt 
1977 Space Shuttle test model "Enterprise" carries a crew aloft
           for 1st time, It was fixed to a modified Boeing 747 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at. --- Carlos A. Urbizo Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. --- Fran Lebowitz A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. --- Edgar Watson Howe
Linux For The Rest Of Us! - Hi-def Video Training Series Now you don't have to be a Genius or Brainiac! This is for YOU and me! Learn Linux From One Of The Most Sought After Instructors. Get ready for when Windows 7 annoys you once too often or when the salespeople tell you, you should switch to Windows 8. Get ready and upgrade to Linux when it suits YOU! Full Video Training Series, Instantly Accessible, And In Full Hd! Linux For The Rest Of Us!

It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests but one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way!" answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it!"
Professional memory card recovery software Professional Memory Card Recovery Software Recover Lost or Deleted Photos and files in 3 Steps 1) Connect Your Device 2) Scan 3) Preview and Select Works on ALL memory cards and thumb drives!

>From Fran: After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said, "do all these children and this luggage belong to you?" "Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all mine." The customs agent began his interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?" "Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now."
Thanks to Paul for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Haniyyah Barnes, 25, in Newark, NJ Throws Neighbor's Dog Into Oncoming Traffic Over Parking Spot argument Haniyyah Barnes, a 25-year-old New Jersey woman was jailed after she allegedly threw her neighbor's dog into traffic - killing the dog - during an argument over a parking spot. According to police, Barnes had kicked in her neighbor's door and began yelling about a parking spot when the neighbor's 2-year-old Shih Tzu came running to the rescue. Investigators say the dog, named Honey Bey, began barking as Barnes threatened and assaulted the neighbor. In retaliation, Barns picked the dog up by the neck, ran outside and threw the animal into oncoming traffic. The dog was struck by a vehicle and killed. A Newark police officer on routine patrol saw the incident and arrested Barns at the scene. Barns has been indicted on charges of third-degree animal cruelty, criminal mischief and second-degree burglary.
Tech Support Pits: From: Don Re: VOIP Solution Dear Webby, Just a quick note on VOIP. I have had Ooma for a year now and have nothing but good things to say about it. There are no hidden charges, no charge for caller ID, voice mail that works really well. Voice mail has several options for retrieving the messages. Voice quality is better than landline. If you subscribe to their premium service for $10/month, the calls to Canada are also free and you have a great blacklisting feature so that you never hear from anyone on the list once you place them on it, also you have 2 ines with 2 separate numbers. The support service is in the U.S. and they give wonderful, prompt and courteous support. You can read about them at http://www.ooma.com The only difficult thing is getting the phone company to drop your landline and give you a separate number for internet, but that is not so bad but takes about a month especially if you wish to have your old number ported over to you. I neglected to mention one item about Ooma in the previous note. Since you addressed 911 in your letter, I just want to say that setting up 911 is very easy and simple with Ooma. There is one charge every month which is for tax, in my case it is $3.47/month. Don Dear Don Thank you very much for that extremely helpful info! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said "Let's play doctor." "Good idea." said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sponge Eyeshadow Applicator for Cleaning Keyboard I have found the best item for cleaning around keys on the computer. A clean, sponge eyeshadow applicator. I always have extras of these (I use brushes instead). I like them because they hold up much better than Q tips, and they can get into the little crevices. I dampen mine a tad and boy it really gets the crud up! When you are done, you can almost roll the fuzzies off of the applicator and it can be reused. By Joynchocolate Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
There was this city-girl who was out driving and found her- self out in the country. She drove by a farmer standing next to a large impressive-looking animal and stopped the car to ask the farmer a question. "Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?" The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone. "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Gary "This is a true story. The other night Nancy and I were sitting in bed, smoking, drinking, whatever, I don't know. No, that's not true, we don't smoke in bed. Anyway, I turned to her and said, 'What did you say?' "She said, "I didn't say anything.' "You didn't say anything? "No, I didn't. But I was thinking something." "That's amazing! You didn't say anything -- you thought something and I heard it! "'Well, what did I say?' "I don't know. I wasn't listening."
» Mussels


[ view entry ] ( 216 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 367 )
Tweet Of The Week 

Tomorrow I'm going to open a time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got...





[ view entry ] ( 144 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 48 )


Selecting a VOIP service 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, June 17
Happy Fathers Day!

Thank you, Richard!

If you want the results and schedules for the Euro 2012
soccer games, try WolrdTimeBuddy

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1579 Sir Francis Drake lands on the coast of California
1745 American colonials capture Louisburg, Cape Breton I from French 
1837 Charles Goodyear obtains his 1st rubber patent 
1885 Statue of Liberty arrived in NYC aboard French ship `Isere' 
1919 "Barney Google" cartoon strip, by Billy De Beck, premiers 
1940 France asks Germany for terms of surrender in WW II 
1950 1st kidney transplant (Chicago) 
1953 Riots in East Germany for reunification
1967 China becomes world's 4th thermonuclear (H-bomb) power 
1988 Microsoft releases MS DOS 4.0 (as unpopular as VISTA)
1994 O. J. Simpson's slow-speed chase by the police, watched by 
   millions on TV, ended in his arrest.
2002 Australian scientists announced that they had "teleported" a 
  laser beam—breaking it up and reconstructing it in another location.
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider. --- Robert Frost You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. --- Scott Adams When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. --- Hunter S. Thompson
Linux For The Rest Of Us! - Hi-def Video Training Series Now you don't have to be a Genius or Brainiac! Learn Linux From One Of The Most Sought After Instructors. Get ready for when Windows 7 annoys you once too often or when the salespeople tell you, you should switch to Windows 8. Get ready and upgrade to Linux when it suits YOU! Full Video Training Series, Instantly Accessible, And In Full Hd! Linux For The Rest Of Us!

The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you done a good job, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven."
Professional memory card recovery software Professional Memory Card Recovery Software Recover Lost or Deleted Photos and files in 3 Steps 1) Connect Your Device 2) Scan 3) Preview and Select Works on ALL memory cards and thumb drives!

>From Pam This new diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful--we never even felt hungry! But when we realized we were gaining weight, not losing it, I checked the recipes again. There, in fine print, was: "Serves 6."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version This one bloomed today. It is one of the winter-hard ones, that stay outside all year.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Cynthia Ann Creed, 51, Houston, Texas Sent Fellow Juror Text Message Stating Bomb Was In Courthouse Cynthia Ann Creed, a 51-year-old Texas juror was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly joked to another juror that there was a bomb in the courthouse. According to Houston police, Creed reportedly sent a fellow juror a text message at 11:43 a.m. that read "Call the courthouse. Tell them there is a bomb...please." Creed sent the message after she had already been cleared from jury duty at the Harris County courthouse at 10:30 a.m. Authorities took the message seriously and cleared the courthouse completely. Creed then sent the juror a second message 15 minutes later that read "just kidding." Investigators say bomb-sniffing dogs were already searching the building before Creed sent the second message Police apprehended Creed, who stated that she was sorry for the prank, but could not give an explanation on her behavior. Creed was booked into jail and charged with giving a false police report. She is currently being held in lieu of $5,000 bail.
Tech Support Pits: Re Yesterday's question about phone Batteries: Tell betty to try Amazon. I paid about 7 bucks for 2 of the same kind. FRED. From: Ginny Re: VOIP Dear Webby, I am finally going to switch my phone to VOIP. What do I need to watch out for? Ginny Dear Ginny VOIP calls to cellphones are expensive, especially to foreign countries. Don't do that except to quickly tell somebody to check their email or to come onto chat. 911 may or may not work on VOIP in your area. You'll have to test to see if it does. Just as with land line phones and cell phones, there ARE a lot of hidden or add-on charges that are not always obvious. You are just going to have to call all the different services and compare. For example, Call Display, showing the number of the caller, can be anywhere from $.1.95 to $14.95 per month, Also, check out the coverage. Some, like Verizon, have good coverage within theUS, but are rather pathetic anywhere else. Be extremely careful about long term contracts. Common practise is to give you a phantastic 3 month deal, if you agree to a really crappy 3 year deal. My secretary's son is an expert on surfing trial deals and breaking out of them before they convert to the long term contract, but I have a hunch, that required an awful lot of small print studying. Best is to make a spreadsheet and list the things, that are important to you as column headings across the top, and the names of the different VOIP providers down in the first column. Then call the 1-800 of each one, and fill out each cell on their row. They will try to stampede you into signing up, because some special deal is about to end. They are lying, of course. When one service mentions something, that seems important, call the other ones back and question them on that topic too. Don't worry about wasting their time, they are paid by the hour. If you have to talk to Mijibar Bin Dumdum or his brother Marblemouth, keep in mind, their support will be even further away and even less cooperative. Once you have al the different services in your spreadsheet, including points for understandable and cooperative agents, THEN you can make an intelligent decision. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
This one is a classic. A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done. Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't do this! I'll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!" Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words, "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Oatmeal Bags for Itchy Skin When your kids have itchy insect bites, give them little bags made from pieces of pantyhose stuffed with handfuls of dry oatmeal. These soothing "scratchy bags" relieve the itch without the risk of broken skin or infection. They are great for adults too. My son has severe psoriasis and I give these to him to help stop the scratching. Source: Canadian Living Magazine, August 2002 By Cinnamon from Williams Lake, B.C. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Donna sends, I asked my two-year-old to take his dirty clothes and put them into the hamper. He looked puzzled, and I explained, "You know; it's the place where we put our dirty clothes before they're washed." My son picked up his things, ran into my bedroom, and threw his clothes on the floor -- on his dad's side of the bed.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
These two girlfriends are very close, allowing them to be totally honest with each other. As one fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a date, she remarked, "I'm fat." "No, you're not," the other scolded. "My hair is awful." "It's lovely." "I've never looked worse," she whined. "Oh, yes, you have!" her friend replied.
» Pet Therapy


[ view entry ] ( 172 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1133 )
Phone Batteries 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, June 16

If you want the results and schedules for the Euro 2012
soccer games, try WolrdTimeBuddy

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1567 Mary Queen of Scots thrown into Lochleven Castle prison
1654 Queen Christina, a convert to Roman Catholicism, abdicated her 
   Swedish throne to devote the remainder of her life to religion and art. 
1671 Cossack rebel leader Stenka Razin tortured, executed in Moscow
1896 Temperture hits 127ºF at Fort Mojave, Calif 
1903 Ford Motors incorporates
1947 Pravda denounces Marshall Plan 
1949 Gas turbine-electric locomotive demonstrated, Erie Pa 
1963 Valentina Tereshkova becomes 1st woman in space
1989 "Ghostbusters II" premiers 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both. --- John Andrew Holmes
Linux For The Rest Of Us! - Hi-def Video Training Series Now you don't have to be a Genius or Brainiac! Learn Linux From One Of The Most Sought After Instructors. Get ready for when Windows 7 annoys you once too often or when the salespeople tell you, you should switch to Windows 8. Get ready and switch when YOU want to switch! Full Video Training Series, Instantly Accessible, And In Full Hd! Linux For The Rest Of Us!

One night at McChord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence where an alarm had gone off. The fence was at the end of the base runway. When I got to the scene, I found a raccoon was the culprit, so I ran around and flapped my arms to scare the animal away. Suddenly an air-traffic controller came over the public-address system and announced loudly, "Attention to the airman at the end of the runway. You are now cleared for takeoff."
Professional memory card recovery software Professional Memory Card Recovery Software Recover Lost or Deleted Photos and files in 3 Steps 1) Connect Your Device 2) Scan 3) Preview and Select All memory cards and thumb drives!

The happy couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. The society reporter asked, "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?" "Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," the husband replied. "Murder frequently," the wife offered "but never divorce."
Click on the picture for the large version We need more scientists! For lunch!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Irene Khan, 32, West Melbourne, FL Teacher Had Sex With 14-Year-Old Student For Most Of School Year Irene Khan, a 32-year-old science teacher at Imagine School in West Melbourne was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old student on multiple occasions. According to police, Khan was arrested at the conclusion of a two-month long investigation into allegations that she engaged in a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old student. Investigators say Khan and the boy had sex several times in her car, her apartment and at several area hotels. During the investigation, detectives were able to corroborate most of the boy's story. The victim told police that Khan provided a cell phone to him after his mother had taken his cell phone away. Detectives recovered text messages between Khan and the boy which allegedly show Khan expressing her love and affection for him. The relationship reportedly continued through most of the 2011-2012 school year. Khan reportedly resigned her position at the school in January, a short time before the investigation began. Khan was booked into jail and charged with enticing a minor to engage in sexual activity, sexual battery by an authority figure, lewd and lascivious battery by engaging in sexual activity and lewd or lascivious molestation.
Tech Support Pits: From: Betty Re: Phone batteries Hi Webby, I wonder if you know if I can use regular rechargeable batteries in my phones. I have the Panasonic set of 4 handsets, one base/recorder, etc. I just went to buy the new batteries for it, as they have their own Panasonic ones, but in Staples, they are $25 for 2 batteries! I’d need 4 packs = over $100. They have the whole 4 set of Panasonic phones on for $89. Crazy! My hubby says just to use regular rechargeable batteries, but the clerks in the store say they will ruin your phone because they aren’t the same powers, etc. Am I being fed a pack of bull? or is it true? We run on some old corded phones as well as this cordless set. Any other brand I tried, we could not use them together like on a conference call, only Panasonic was compatible. I know it’s a silly question, but with your wisdom, I hope to get some straight answers, or if you’ve come across this same situation. Love your news, glad you are feeling better. Take care & thanks, Betty Dear Betty Why do you need FOUR cordless phones for an in-house conference call? Your mother would have said: "If you need to talk to me, I will be in the kitchen." You are probably only 2 - 3 bags of Smarties short of attaining her wisdom. I agree with your hubby. Just find generic rechargeable ones that have the same voltage. You didn't tell me what voltage you need, but you can usually find the same or equivalent battery for a LOT less with some online shopping around. Most likely your batteries are under $10 at BatteryMart http://www.batterymart.com/c-panasonic-cordless-phone-batteries.html And yes, those store clerks are definitely lying to you. The phone really does not give a hoot about the brand of battery. If the voltage is in the right neighborhood, then the phone is happy. If a phone is always at the same location, for example an upstairs bathroom, then you can even use a "Battery Eliminator", one of those power cubes that plug into a wall socket, and has a little switch to select the voltage. You'll have a power cord from the "Battery Eliminator" to the phone, but you will never ever have to change batteries in that phone again, and nobody will ever leave that phone off the charger, since it is hardwired anyway. The actual voltage is not critical at all. If for example, the battery is labelled "4.8V", and one of the settings on a "Battery Eliminator" is "4.5V", that is close enough. A store-bought battery will quickly drop way below that anyway, and the phone will still work fine when the battery is at 3 Volts. Take the BS of the store clerks with a LOT of salt. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests but one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way!" answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Silverware Tray to Organize Makeup Drawer I used to hate my makeup drawer. Now I use the silverware trays from the dollar store to organize my cosmetics. Its works great and when it gets dirty I can just toss it in the dishwasher. I even stack one on top of the other. I put less used makeups in the bottom one. By ivorylov from Ocala, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS: Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children. and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. "She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it." Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God replied, "An arm and a leg." Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Uncle Charlie and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. But, when the bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, he finally called his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the other brother, "You said to do something nice for Uncle Charlie. So I rented him a tuxedo."
» Looney Tunes


[ view entry ] ( 229 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 345 )
20% Discount coupon for printer ink 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, June 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



If you want just the results and schedules for the Euro 2012
soccer games, try WolrdTimeBuddy

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
763 -BC- Assyrians record total solar eclipse event on clay tablet 
  (That is like an iPad but with longer memory)
1215 King John signs Magna Carta at Runnymede, England 
1389 Battle of Kossovo; Turks defeat Serbs, Bosnians 
1520 Pope threatens to toss Luther out of Catholic Church
1567 Jews are expelled from Genoa Italy 
1590 Pope Leo X threatens to ex-communicate Martin Luther 
1775 George Washington appointed commander-in-chief of 
   American Army 
1844 Goodyear patents vulcanization of rubber 
1866 Prussia attacks Austria
1869 Celluloid patented by John Wesley Hyatt, Albany, NY
1904 Side-wheeler "General Slocum" burns in NY's 
   East River (1,031 die) 
1919 1st nonstop Atlantic flight (Alcock & Brown) lands in Ireland 
1924 Ford Motor Company manufactures its 10 millionth automobile 
1924 Native Americans are proclaimed US citizens
1940 French fortress of Verdun captured by Germans 
1986 Pravda announces high-level Chernobyl staff fired for stupidity 
1989 Ronald Reagan is knighted by Queen Elizabeth 
1991 Philippines volcano Mount Pinatubo errupts 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. --- Elbert Hubbard There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. --- Will Rogers All the people like us are We, and everyone else is They. --- Rudyard Kipling We are a charming species. I think that is why God will save us. He needs the laughs. --- Rick Steele
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a social science degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

It was one of those cloudy, hot days in Texas. The poor little commuter plane was being bounced around all over the sky. The pilot came on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are encountering some pretty bad turbulence, but don't worry. Should anything go wrong, you'll know immediately. Our co-pilot will become hysterical."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Gretchen Whitt, 30, Grainger County, Tennessee Jailed After Instructing 12-Year-Year Old Daughter To Throw Drugs Into Jail Gretchen Whitt, a 30-year-old Tennessee woman was jailed after she allegedly instructed her 12-year-old daughter to toss drugs over a fence and into the county jail courtyard. According to the Grainger County Sheriff's Office, Whitt reportedly drove behind the Grainger County Justice Center and then told her daughter to throw a white plastic bag over the fence, and into an area filled with inmates. Investigators say officers saw the child trying to throw the bag over the fence, so they confiscated it. Initially, they thought that it only contained tobacco, but upon further inspection discovered a controlled substance wrapped in aluminum foil, The exact contents were not reported. Whitt was booked into jail and charged with criminal trespass and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. She was released after posting bond.
Tech Support Pits: From: Thomas Re: "Webby" coupon discount on printer ink Dear Webby My son needed a ink refill kit for his printer. I remembered you have mentioned AtlanticInkJet several times and thought I would try them. When checking out in the box that was asking for a code I put “Webby” and got a 20% discount. I didn't think that the discount code still applied, I just wanted you to get credit for the order. I guess reading your letter does pay. Thanks again Thomas Dear Thomas There is no commisssion per order or anything like that. Subscribers simply get 20% off on refills, 15% off on compatible cartridges, and 10% off on remanufactured cartridges. No kickback or commission, you get it all. The only time I know about one of you getting ink or toner, is when you write to me about it. If there was a commission deal, you would get 5%, administering the commission would swallow12% and I would get 3%. Instead of doing it that way, you get it all as a bonus for being a loyal subscriber. Simply go to AtlanticInkJet and on the check-out, put WEBBY into the slot for Coupon code. Yes, I know, I should mention that more often, that subscribers get that discount, and I will try to fit it in every second month or so. AtlanticInkJet also has some other great stuff, like Avery style labels 75% cheaper, and even edible ink and edible frosting sheets to print anything you want for a cake. The edible ink system is not cheaper than paper type systems. Including the printer, ink, refills and frosting sheets it is about $189, but if you charge $10 for each printed frosting sheet, the first 19 people in the line-up will pay for it. And you can bet, that there will be a line-up as soon as word gets around, that you can produce edible photos to put on cakes! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Cindy was walking by the travel agent and saw a sign that said Cruise for $39. She walked in and plunked her money on the table. The travel agent grabbed her, tied her to a wooden plank and threw her into the river out back. Terri walked in a few minutes later, plunked down her money and she too was grabbed, tied to a wooden plank and thrown into the river out back. The current was swift, so she caught up with Cindy and they both floated together for a while. Terri asked, "Do they serve drinks on this cruise?" Cindy said,. . . "They didn't last time."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make a Pillow Out of a Favorite T-Shirt Do you have a t-shirt you just can't seem to give up but it has some stains or tears? Well, make it into a pillow. First cut the design or pattern from the front of the shirt into a square, then sew material that coordinates with the shirt around the center. When you have the size you like, take the back of the t-shirt if it's in good condition and make the back of the pillow, sew together and stuff. Now you have a new favorite pillow. By Beesplace from Indiana PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After a frantic caller told the Battle Creek, Michigan, Humane Society about two ducks trapped by the ice on a pond, the shelter manager, Mike Pearson, rushed right over. Mike inched his way out over nearly 100 feet of ice. As onlookers stood by, he carefully made his way to the ducks, and, thankfully, back to safety on the shore. Both of the wooden decoys are expected to survive.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Steve: PRINCIPLES OF JEWISH BUDDHISM 1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such round shoulders. 2. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. 3. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story. 4. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking? 5. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? 6. If there is no Self, whose arthritis is this? 7. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this, and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. 8. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish. 9. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third sip, Danish. 10. Be patient and achieve all things. Haggle and get them cheaper. 11. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are 10,000 flowers. Each flower blossoms 10,000 times. Each blossom has 10,000 petals. You might want to see a specialist. 12. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? 13. Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes!
» Cool Couches


[ view entry ] ( 240 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 40 )
How to Revive a Used Laser Printer 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 14

Are you following the Euro2012 games?
I find it interesting how much the coverage differs.
Most NorthAmerican media seem to fous on the hooligans,
that try to crank up a bit of rioting before the games,
and barely mention the games or the scores.

European and British media tend to ignore the violence and
stick to reporting about the games. If you are interested in
the soccer games and the competition, try Skysports.com

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1775 US Army founded 
1834 Sandpaper patented by Isaac Fischer Jr, Springfield, Vermont 
1847 Bunson invents a gas burner
1940 German forces occupied Paris during WW II 
1941 Ground broken for Boeing Plant II (ex-AFLC Plant 13) Wichita KS
1944 1st B-29 raid against mainland Japan
1949 State of Vietnam formed
1951 1st commercial computer, UNIVAC 1, 
   enters service at Census Bureau 
1952 Keel laid for 1st nuclear powered sub the Nautilus 
1954 Pres Eisenhower signs order adding words "under God" to the Pledge 
The last phrase now reads: '
...one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.' 
1982 Argentina surrenders to Britain on Falkland Is, ends 74-day conflict 
1987 4th full-duration test firing of redesigned SRB motor 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." --- Socratex Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. --- Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



A man is walking his dog, and passes a little restaurant; the cooking smells are so tempting, he decides he would like to stop for lunch, but the sign says no animals are permited. After a couple of moment's thought, he decided to brazen it out: he puts on a pair of sunglasses, walks into the rest- aurant, with his dog on a leash and asks to be seated. The waiter says "I am sorry sir, but we do not permit animals in the restaurant." The man says, "But I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog." The waiter responds skeptically: "Your seeing eye dog? Sir, that dog is a Dachshund, a Wiener Dog!" The man responds: "A Dachshund! They gave me a Dachshund?"
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand-lettered "For Sale" sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there" would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing. "Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, "HORSE for sale. But I s'pose someone who don't read so good, prolly can't afford a horse ?"
Click on the picture for the large version Lake Superior
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Cadedra Cook, 18, in Cedartown Georgia Cadedra Cook - Orders Pizza, Then Stabs Delivery Driver 50 Times Cadedra Cook, an 18-year-old Cedartown woman, and an unnamed 15-year-old boy, were jailed Friday after they allegedly ordered a pizza and then stabbed the delivery driver more than 50 times. According to Cedartown Police, Cook and the juvenile reportedly beat and stabbed 27-year-old Elizabeth Hutchenson, a mother of one, while she was making a pizza delivery at their residence on Thursday around 9:00 p.m. Cook and the juvenile then fled on foot, leaving the victim bleeding to death in their doorway. Officers found Hutchenson while on a routine traffic stop. She was rushed to a Polk Medical Center, where she was pronounced dead. Medical officials stated that she received over 50 stab wounds to her head, chest, and torso. Officers apprehended the suspects the next day in a nearby field. "We had been one step behind them most of the night," said Cedertown Police Chief Jamie Newsome. "We were finally able to catch up to them in daylight. Investigators say detectives do not have a motive behind the attack. A small amount of money was taken from the victim, but not enough to initiate a murder. Officers are working to determine if it was premeditated. A Domino's spokesperson stated that drivers are not encouraged to carry more than $20 on them while delivering. They stated that they were horrified by the incident, and their prayers go out to the family of the victim, which includes a 4-year-old girl and a boyfriend. Cook was booked into the Polk County Jail on charges of murder. The juvenile, who was also jailed on murder charges, may be charged as an adult.
Tech Support Pits: From: Mark Re: Used laser printer Dear Webby I bought a used Dell Laser printer from a company, that went out of business. They said it was working OK the last time they used it a year ago. I downloaded the driver for it, but it won't print. It has all kinds of lights lit up, but nothing is happening. What do you recommend? Mark Dear Mark Most likely one of the departing emloyees took the toner cartridges home as a last souvenir. Just go to Atlantic inkjet .com and order toner for it. Shortly after you put toner cartridges in and slam the side door, those lights will all go out and you can start printing. If there is more than just the power light on, toner is empty or cartridges are missing. By the way, laser toner cartridges from Atlantic inkjet .com can sit around for years. They don't go bad. With old printers, it is a good idea to open them up, chase the mice and/or spiders out with a vacuum cleaner, and wipe all the rubber rollers with a Q-tip dipped in gas-line-antifreeze or key-lock-de-icer or Methyl Hydrate, It is all the same stuff, but a one ounce bottle of lock de-icer will usually cost you more than a gallon of Methyl Hydrate from the paint department at Home Depot. That cleans and rejuvenates the rubber rollers, so that they become sticky and grabby like dragster tires. Then the printer does not have to spin the wheels to eventually pick up some paper, it will move as soon as a wheel begins to turn. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The teacher was asking the kids where they were going to go for their summer vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked him. "We're going to visit my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, since I am probably going to flunk this class, most likely I'll be going to Balconia, or maybe the wood shed."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Small Grocery Bags For Dog Waste Save those tiny plastic grocery bags that are too small to use for anything else. I keep my other plastic bags to use for trash containers. You can use the really little bags to pick up doggie messes in the park when walking your dog and no waste bags are available. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
>From Rollie: While my wife and I were shopping at a mall kiosk, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. Naturally my eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Mary F My son from California who was visiting this weekend tells me that there were a couple of terrorists who had made it into the US and were having coffee in San Francisco when one of them started conversing in Arabic. The other cautioned him and then reminded him, "We are in the United States now. Speak Spanish."
» Paper Sculptures


[ view entry ]   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1184 )
How to share a newsletter 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, June 13

One reader figured that the Florida ghost voters voted for
Bush and would vote for Romney. 
Not a chance. 
If there was a single ghost voter, who was NOT controlled by 
Acorn or the Democrats, then the Dept of Justice would not 
fight the correction of the voting rolls quite so fanatically. 
They control the ghosts and the illegal voters, and figure
they are entitled to them.

it will be intersting to see what Florida does about that.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1525 German Reformer Martin Luther, 42, married former nun 
  Katherine von Bora, 26. They had six kids.
1611 John Fabricius dedicates earliest sunspot publication 
1886 Fire destroys nearly 1,000 buildings in Vancouver, BC 
1898 Yukon Territory of Canada organized, Dawson chosen as capital 
1933 1st sodium vapor street lamps installed (Schenectady NY) 
1940 Paris evacuated before the German advance
1942 1st V-2 rocket launch, Peenemnde, Germany; reached 1.3 km
 (that technology eventually became the base of the NASA rockets)
1955 Mercedes racing car kills 77 at Le Mans France  
1983 Pioneer 10 becomes 1st man-made object to leave Solar System
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did you ever see a man wearing a shirt that buttons down the back?" Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. --- Barbara Tober Traditions are standardized ways of dealing with situations that have been experienced by others before. --- Socratex
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied female obesity to a virus. One evening my sister came home exhausted from a long day at work. "Did you read the paper?" she asked. "I'm not going in to work tomorrow. I'm calling in fat."
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

Thanks to Georgiagirl for this joke: Mujibar was trying to get into America legally through Immigration. The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except there is one more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter America." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The officer said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green." Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Officer, I am ready." The Officer said, "Go ahead." Mujibar said, "The telephone, she goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and I say, 'Yellow, this is Mr Mujibar.'" Mujibar now lives in a neighbourhood near you, and works at AOL on the Help Desk.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Steven Mercado, 32 in Vineland, NJ Bank Robber ran out of gas The robbery occurred at the Susquehanna Bank on North Delsea Drive this afternoon at 1:23 p.m. Steven Mercado, 32, of North East Boulevard in Vineland, entered the bank and handed the teller a note demanding money, according to Vineland police. Though he had no disguise or weapon, the note reportedly indicated that he was carrying a weapon. The teller handed an undisclosed amount of money to the suspect, who then fled the bank. Bank employees reported they last saw the suspect heading north across Garden Road onto North Delsea Drive. That's when they notified police. According to police, Mercado parked his vehicle at Performance Auto on Delsea Drive, but his vehicle ran out of gas as he attempted to make his getaway. He then reportedly contacted a local taxi company to pick him up, but was apprehended by Vineland police. According to the nearby Dondero Diamonds and Fine Jewelry store, a police vehicle struck their sign. The jewelry store praised the Vineland police for their response to apprehending the robber. Mercado was charged with armed robbery with his vehicle impounded and bail set at $400,000.
Tech Support Pits: From: Melody Re: Sharing the newsletter Dear Webby I look forward to reading your Dear Webby Humor Letter and sometimes I read something that I would like to share with friends who don't get the humor letter, but I wasn't sure if I could do that with out crossing over some line out there and getting in trouble for sharing that wasn't mine. Melody Dear Melody Just forward the entire Humor Letter or tell them to go to http://webby.com/humor That way it is considered "Sharing", not plagiarism or stealing. Sharing is appreciated, because it might lead to a new subscriber. They still know that YOU sent it to them, and credit YOU for being resourceful and well connected. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Myrna On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great- grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free pro- fessional advice. Instead she sat back and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Paper Scraps For Crafts I do a lot of card making. Stock paper isn't really cheap, so if I have left over sentiments or papers from cutting out projects. I put them all in a basket next to my computer desk. Then if I need something, it is usually right there in the basket. I save a ton of paper, ink, and time by having the "scraps" right there for use on other projects. Some people may think I am a bit of a tightwad, but it actually saves me a lot of money having these scraps right where I can get to them. So, if you are an avid crafter those small pieces could come in very handy. By maphisx7 from Gordonsville, VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale." "I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied. "Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My town takes jury selection very seriously. So much so that when it sends questionnaires to perspective jurors, every question is expected to be answered in full--plain and simple, no ifs, ands or buts. This was evidenced by the juror's questionnaire I was sent. It asked, Do you speak, read and understand English? If no, explain."
» Time


[ view entry ] ( 182 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1110 )
Video Conferencing 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, June 12

I had to laugh when Lillemor sent me an article about the 
Dept Of Justice getting frantic and trying to forbid Florida
dumping names of dead people off their voting rolls.
Apparently those tens of thousands of ghost voters are
absolutely necessary for Obama to win, and ghost voters
have worked fine in Illinois. 
Obama apparently is entitled to them!

There is one way to correct that. Leave them on the voters
rolls, but redline them.  Whenever a live person shows up to
vote for a ghost, arrest them and throw them into the slammer
for voting fraud.

Florida could easily enough make an Arpaio style tent jail
in the Everglades, guarded by alligators. And keep them there 
until they come up with $100,000 bail money or a $10,000
summary conviction fine. 

If they use the same trick with all the illegals, who were
put onto the election rolls, the fines would get the state 
out of debt!

Or would that make too much sense?

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1665 English rename New Amsterdam, New York, after Dutch pull out 
1792 George Vancouver discovers site of Vancouver, BC 
1812 Napoleon's invasion of Russia begins
1867 Austro-Hungarian Empire forms 
1918 1st airplane bombing raid by an American unit, France 
1962 USAF Maj Robert M White takes X-15 to 56,270 m 
1967 Israel wins 6 day war (Did they REALLY rent the tanks from Hertz?)
1973 Yanks trade wife swapper Mike Kekich for Lowell Palmer 
1980 Reagan said he would submit to periodic medical tests,
  -if he remembers.
1982 750,000 anti-nuclear demonstrators, rally in Central Park NYC
   200 Million did not demonstrate.. 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter "I could now afford all the things I never had as a kid, if I didn`t have kids." --- Robert Orben
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



A college freshman, returning home for the summer, was discussing the problems of living at college. He was commenting on the cost of food, power, insurance and the other costs of living that we must all endure. Mom commented back to her son that she knew just how he felt. He got a puzzled look and said “how would you know mom? You still live at home”.
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago. So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists have found traces of silica, indicating 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians." One week later, the Canadian newspapers reported the following: "After digging as deep as 500 metres, Canadian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology. ------------------ Yep. That's right. Smoke signals are definitely wireless. To this day half the Government is accusing it the other half, that their posturing is just smoke and mirrors, while those in turn are trying to tax smoking out of Canadian life. However, if we all stopped smoking, they couldn't afford medicare! Well, I am one of the selfish meanies who stopped smoking. I have not smoked since February 2011, and don't even stand downwind of smokers.
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version This one bloomed today, a Neoporteria.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Krystle Marie Reyes, 25, in Salem, Oregon Scams Oregon Out Of 2 Million Dollars, then calls police when she loses credit card Krystle Marie Reyes, a 25-year-old Salem woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly filed a fraudulent state tax return, and received over 2 million dollars. According to the Marion County Sheriff's Office, Reyes reportedly used Turbo Tax, a tax preparation computer program, to file her 2011 tax income return. She claimed that she earned over $3,000,000, then used the tax calculator program to claim a refund of $2,000,000. The Internal Revenue examined because of the large amount, but sent her the refund as calculated on her return. Investigators say Reyes spent more than $150,000 on numerous items, including a new vehicle, before she ended up losing her Visa card with the remainder of her fraudulent tax return revenue. Investigators say Reyes reported her card missing, which alerted authorities to her fraudulent activities. Officers described the scam as one of the biggest the state of Oregon has ever seen. Officials are shocked on how easily she was able to defraud the state. The revenue department processes approximately 7 billion dollars a year in tax returns on computer systems designed in the 1980s. In January, the state decided against a one million dollar computer upgrade,that would have eventually paid for itself by finding tax cheaters. Reyes was booked into the Marion County Jail and charged with aggravated theft and computer crime. She was released and is scheduled to appear in court on July 5th. Sales of Turbo Tax in Oregon have skyrocketed.
Tech Support Pits: From: AJ Re: Online Conferencing Dear Webby I got some ads about on-line conferencing. Compared to on-location meetings, $2879 sounds like quite a big saving. How reliable are those on-line conferences? A.J. Dear AJ Ask your kids to show you how to use Skype. One on one video conferencing, with additional text chat for typing or pasting complicated details, is free, Since Microsoft bought Skype, video conferencing involving more people costs a bit, but is still uite reasonable. Most people just use video to the chairman or moderator, and plain text chat to everybody else in the conference. One of the great benefits of that is the history. Everybody has a printable history that can be looked up even years later. If you use just text chat and one on one video, it is free. Reliability is still as good as before microsoft bought it. There is no change in that. We have used Skype for tech support for a dozen years, and would find it awkward, if we had to switch to a different solution. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Dianne for this: My forgetter's getting better, But my rememberer is broke To you that may seem funny But, to me, that is no joke For when I'm "here" I'm wondering If I really should be "there" And, when I try to think it through, I haven't got a prayer! Oft times I walk into a room, Say "what am I here for?" I wrack my brain, but all in vain! A zero, is my score. At times I put something away Where it is safe, but, Gee! The person it is safest from Is, generally, me! When shopping I may see someone, Say! "Hi" and have a chat, Then, when the person walks away I ask myself, "who the hell was that?" Yes, my forgetter's getting better While my rememberer is broke, And it's driving me plumb crazy And that isn't any joke.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Cardboard From Tissue Box Open up the glued end of an empty large tissue box so it is now flat. Trim off the logo area. You can use the plain white area if you wish. Trim off ends and save them. You can get three tiny gift tags from the ends. You can make 4 cards, 1 bookmark, and 24 tiny tags from a single box or 7 cards and 21 tags from one box! For gift tags, punch a small hole in the top and add a ribbon to tie on to the gift. Attach a ribbon to the top of your bookmark the same way. Not all boxes measure the same, so don't worry if you don't come up with the same cuts or think you made a mistake. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
>From Walter the Stonecarver Whenever I come home from playing golf, my son always asks me excitedly, "Did you win, Dad?" I have explained to him time and time again that you're really just playing against yourself. This time the family was on vacation and I had gone out to play a round. When I returned, the kids were swimming in the hotel pool, which was full of young kids and surrounded by dozens of parents. From across the pool, at the top of his lungs, my son yelled, "Hey Dad! Were you just playing with yourself? We checked out that night.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Did you know that in order to encourage interstate commerce in the US every second state forbids fireworks and you have to go to the next state to get them. You can always tell that you are getting close to a state border when you see those firworks sales huts on the side of the freeway. In Canada fireworks are usually regulated locally but rarely enforced unless somebody does something really stupid. However, in this one town, which shall remain nameless, the local dogooders decided to push for a bylaw banning fireworks, even though the only reported accident was when a city council member had forgotten that her hubby had stashed the fireworks in the barbeque to keep them out of the rain and out of the reach of the kids. An opponent to the proposed fireworks bylaw erected a sign that read: "ALL dogooders should be blown up" The next morning somebody had spray-painted underneath: "That would do them good"
» Rainbows


[ view entry ] ( 174 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 361 )
Are free Anti-Virus programs worth what they cost? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, June 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1569 1st recorded lottery in England is drawn at St Paul's Cathedral 
1571 Emperor Maximilian II grants Austrian nobles freedom of religion 
1693 Mt Etna erupts, Sicily
1813 1st pineapples planted in Hawaii 
1913 1st sedan-type car (Hudson) goes on display at 13th Auto Show
 (New York City NY)
1913 Bread & Roses Strike begins
1922 Insulin 1st used to treat diabetes (Leonard Thompson, 14, of Canada) 
1923 French & Belgian troops occupy Ruhr to collect reparations 
1942 Japan conquers Kuala Lumpur, Malaya
1954 20 ton locomotive swept into ravine by avalanche - 10 die (Austria) 
1962 Volcano Huascaran in Peru, erupts; 4,000 die
1963 1st discotheque opens, The Whiskey-a-go-go in Los Angeles CA 
1964 Panamá ends diplomatic relations with US 
1991 Congress empowers Bush to order attack on Iraq 
1991 Soviets storm buildings in Vilnius to block Lithuania independence 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. --- Dick Cavett
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



One evening, impressed by a meat entree his wife had prepared, the husband asked, "What did you marinate this in?" The wife dropped her fork and went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn't be the same without him. She must have seen the confused look on her husbands face, because she inquired, "What did you ask me?" When he told her what he'd asked, the wife laughed and said, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" Later, as she was cleaning up the kitchen, the husband called out, "Hey, hon, WOULD you marry me again?" Without hesitation she replied, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce."
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

> From Rosie Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., Prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco."
Click on the picture for the large version Lupens (Lupinias) in the Yukon. After clearing forest or after a forest fire the first year or two there is just fireweed. Then the Lupens come out.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Lowpel Davis, 38, New Haven, CT Entitlement Fanatic Steals Wig, Chomps Off portion of shop owner's arm Lowpel Davis, a 38-year-old Connecticut woman was jailed after she allegedly tried to steal a wig from a beauty shop, then bit a chunk of flesh from the business owner's arm. According to New Haven Police, Davis and a juvenile female entered the Sassy Beauty Supply store in New Haven Tuesday afternoon, and stole a wig and a handful of other beauty related merchandise. When the store owner noticed that a wig was missing from one of his merchandise mannequins, he inspected the store's surveillance camera footage which showed Davis stealing the merchandise and then placing then it into a bag. The store owner told his staff to keep Davis and the juvenile in the shop until police arrived, however, the pair broke past employees and fled the store. The store's owner and his 70-year-old father gave chase, but Davis reportedly fought them, biting a chunk of flesh from the store owner's bicep. Davis then punched both men and spit in the shop owner's face. Police arrived a short time later to find Davis trying to beat the crap out of four federal protective service officers in front of the Giaimo Federal Building. When New Haven police officers handcuffed Davis and placed her in the back seat of a patrol car, she attempted to kick out the vehicle's rear window. She was eventually moved to paddy-wagon style transportation van for her own protection. Officers involved in the altercation were taken to a local hospital where they were treated for bite wounds, cuts and abrasions. Davis was booked into jail and charged with two counts of assaulting a police officer, second-degree assault, first-degree criminal mischief, second-degree breach of the peace and sixth-degree larceny. Her bond has been set at $150,000.
Tech Support Pits: From: Many Re: Is free Virus Protection worth what it costs? A lot of people wrote to tell me the names of free virus protection programs. I have tried them on secondary machines. Don't you think that, if those programs were worth two cents, that the companies, who provide them, would charge two cents? Sure, they are probably better than nothing at all, but they are not good enough to charge money for them. Most of them don't even do their own research, they simply copy the virus definition list from McAfee. With McAfee often updating 3-4 times a day, thefreebies are of course hopelessly behind, sometimes a few months! If all your data is backed up, and you got all the program registrations handy and in an easy to find location, sure, then you can gamble. However, it is your gamble, and not my recommendation. To me it seems rather silly to spend Thousand Dollars or more on an easily replaced computer. but then whine about a $30 program to protect IRREPLACEABLE files, and your financial information. Isn't that like using a milk crate as a child safety seat in a Mercedes, or a KFC bucket as a helmet for riding a $5000 motorcycle? My ONLY recommendation is to get With McAfee. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor to prove that he wasn't so miraculous. He goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor leaves and after five minutes brings a jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. That will be $100. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little. Then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Gift Tags from Wallpaper We bought a house that needed to be decorated, so we bought a ton of wallpaper. When we were finished we had 20 rolls left. My daughter and I decided to make gift cards out of the leftovers for every holiday and birthdays. We used the following materials: a paper cutter, a one hole punch, and stamps with sayings on them. What beautiful cards they turned out to be and we are making some extra cash on the side. This has turned out to be a full time business as well. Who would have thought? Now we have the whole family buying wallpaper for us and crafting as well, so many ideas to use the leftovers from our house. By Lori from Middlefield, OH Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog! TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PUPIL: A teacher. TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLIE: Me!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Bob told me that he'd just granted his daughter "family car" privileges. "One night she got home from a party kind of late. I went out to get the paper and came back in a little frustrated. "Our daughter was sitting at the breakfast table and I asked her, 'What time did you get in last night?' "'Not too late, dad.' "'Well, then I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car.'"
» Rainbows


[ view entry ] ( 165 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1038 )
Good enough virus protection 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, June 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1752 Ben Franklin's kite is struck by lightning-what a shock! 
1772 Burning of the Gaspe, British revenue cutter, by Rhode Islanders 
1801 Tripoli declares war on US for refusing tribute 
1809 1st US steamboat to a make an ocean voyage leaves NY for Philadelphia
1869 Agnes arrives in New Orleans with 1st ever shipment of frozen beef 
1898 US Marines land in Cuba, during Spanish-American War 
1916 Great Arab Revolt begin 
1935 Alcoholics Anonymous was founded by "Bill W."
1940 Italy declares war on France & Britain during WW II 
1967 Israel, Syria, Jordan, Iraq & Egypt end "6-Day War"
1975 Rockefeller panel reports on 300,000 illegal CIA files on Americans 
1990 Burger King begins using Newman's Own Salad Dressing
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. --- Dick Cavett Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. --- Ogden Nash
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



My neighbor's mother-in-law is on AOL. I asked her "Why?" She said that all of her friends are there. So I asked her how much time she spends there. "Oh, about 8 hours a day." "What do you do there for all that time?", I asked. "Mostly just bitch and bellyache about AOL."
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

Sam and Greg were out deer hunting. Sam was pretty new to this whole deer hunting thing, so Greg had told him all about a clean kill, and field dressing, etc. Well, after an afternoon up in the stand, Sam heard some noise in the woods, he got buck fever and fired. He went over to where he thought his deer should be, and realized he had shot his good friend Greg. Sam rushed him to the hospital. After what seemed like a very long time, the doctor came out shaking his head. He told Sam, "The gunshot wound wasn't too bad, and we could have saved him if you had not gutted and cleaned him."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Patti for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Tornia Ann Gutierrez in Del Valle, Texas Mom jailed for putting PCP in daughter’s lunch Sheriff's deputies have arrested Tornia Ann Gutierrez after they say she gave her daughter a sandwich with PCP inside it. According to an arrest affidavit, on May 4 school officials at Propham Elementary School in Del Valle noticed a six-year-old first grader was showing signs of being under the influence of drugs. The girl told the counselor that she could hear "banging in her head" and was talking to people who were not there according to court documents. The counselor called the girl's mother, Gutierrez, who asked the counselor not to call EMS or Child Protective Services. Gutierrez told the counselor that she was on her way. She arrived at the school and picked up her daughter without talking to staff school officials said. Once at home, investigators said Gutierrez called EMS, and they transported the girl to Dell Children's Medical Center. Court documents show that toxicology tests indicated the girl tested positive for having PCP in her system. The girl was removed from the home by CPS and placed with a family member. Gutierrez also allegedly tested positive for PCP two times herself after the incident. Investigators interviewed the girl who said she ate a sandwich that her mother had made for her on the day of the incident. She told investigators that afterwards she got "crazy dizzy" and that her lunch meat tasted like "fireworks." She also allegedly told investigators that her mother told her angel dust was a drug and it must have gotten on her lunch meat. According to deputies, Gutierrez admitted that she allowed 33-year-old Robert Jackson to bring PCP into her home. She told investigators he was a drug dealer and a drug user. Gutierrez has been charged with abandoning or endangering a child, a state jail felony.
Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Good Virus Protection Dear Webby, Hi! I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY LOVE YA LOTS HELEN Dear Webby I just got a new comp and I need a good free virius protection can you give some advise on one Helen Dear Helen I use and recommend McAfee. You can get it at a 40% or bigger discount at http://webby.com/mac There is no free anti-virus program, that I could recommend and not worry about your computer getting infected. Sure, some of the free ones are better than nothing at all, but I will not be responsible for the consequences, if you use those. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Father Murphy roared from the pulpit to his parishioners: "The drink has killed millions-- it rots their stomachs and they die in agony. Smoking has killed millions--it coats your lungs and you die in agony. Overeating and consorting with loose women have also killed millions." "Scuse me, Father," hollered O'Reilly from the back, "but what is it that kills the people who live right?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Eggs Until a good friend shared this tip with me, I did not know that fresh eggs can be whisked together and frozen for up to six months. I have been doing this for over a year now. I buy large eggs when they are on sale in the 18 pack cartons. I keep out about six for use in the fridge and then whisk together whites and yolks of the remaining 12 eggs until just combined. I then measure them into my ice ice-cube trays, using 3 Tbsp. of the mixture per segment (3 Tbsp. is equivalent to 1 large egg). Freeze them until solid, then transfer the cubes to a freezer bag for up to 6 months. Don't forget to date the freezer bag. When ready to use take out one or more and thaw in the refrigerator. By Bobbie G from Rockwall, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
>From Ella Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home to tell me he would be late - again. He went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon's quarters and they had to discipline the whole squad. I launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had dirty pictures hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon should not be penalized for something trivial. My husband calmly listened to my gripes and then explained, "Honey, dirty magazines: the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Annie: Living in Washington State, my husband and I often take car trips to Canada to visit his family. One holiday season we stopped at the border, where the customs officer asked my husband the value of any goods we would be leaving in Canada. My husband paused to think of the value of the gifts we had with us. "Never mind," the officer said, "What's the most expensive thing in your car?" Without hesitation, my husband replied, "My wife."
» Awwwwe


[ view entry ] ( 267 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1165 )
How to change background and font color on Outlook Express? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, June 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1822 Charles Graham receives 1st patent for false teeth 
1883 1st commercial electric railway line begins operation
1898 China leases Hong Kong's new territories to Britain for 99 years
1940 Norway surrenders to Germany during WW II 
1959 1st ballistic missile sub launched
1982 Israel wipes out Syrian SAM missiles in Bekaa Valley 
1997 British lease on New Territories in Hong Kong expires
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. --- Rita Mae Brown If you look good and dress well, you don't need a purpose in life. --- Robert Pante
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



>From Rosa Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELD Close, but not close enough. The next week I drove through the same parking lot and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD. About two months later they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word SPOT.
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

After preaching, we were invited out for lunch. I casually mentioned to the lady that I was allergic to cats. "That's okay Pastor," the woman said. "I can cook something else."
Thanks to Lillemore for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Wait! Something is moving over there!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Tracy Mabb, 35, in Pompano Beach, Florida Jailed for Stripping Naked On Busy Highway Tracy Mabb, a 35-year-old Florida woman was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly stripped down at a busy intersection and exposed her genitals to passing motorists. According to the Broward County Sheriff's Office, Mabb was standing near the 800 block of Dixie Highway in Pompano Beach Tuesday when she began removing her clothes - including her bra and panties. Investigators say Mabb stood naked on the street, exposing her breasts, genitals, and buttocks to passing motorists and pedestrians. When officers responded to the scene and asked Mabb to put her clothes, she refused, and said "I don't give a fuck". Mabb was booked into jail and charged with exposing sex organs. She looks like a bit indignant about having to wear jail clothes. Mabb is currently being held in lieu of a $600 bond.
Tech Support Pits: From: Rosalie Re: How do I change background and font colors in Outlook Express?? Dear Webby, Thanks for your daily Humor Letters; what a wonderful way to start off my day. Question: How do I change the background color and the font color in my outgoing emails with Outlook Express? Thank you as always; couldn't do it without your help. Rosalie Dear Rosalie I have never used Outlook Express, but this is what I found on the web: Add a background color, gradient, texture, pattern, or picture On the Message Options tab, in the Themes group, click Page Color. Click a color on the Theme Colors or Standard Colors palette. To remove the color, click No Color. If you want to add a gradient, texture, pattern, or picture, click Fill Effects. Select the fill options that you want. Change the font You can change the font in your message in several ways: On the Message tab, in the Basic Text group, you can select the font, font size, font style (bold, italic, and underline), font color, and text highlighting. On the Format tab, in the Font group, you can select the font and font size; increase or decrease the size by one increment; change the font style (bold, italic, underline, strikethrough, subscript, superscript); change the case, the font color, and the text highlighting; and remove all font formatting. On the Mini toolbar that appears when you select text, you can select the font, increase or decrease the size by one increment, select a theme, use the Format Painter, select the font style (bold, italic, and underline), and highlight text. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Little went with his mom and dad to his grandmother's house for dinner. When little received his plate he started eating right away. ", wait until we say our prayer," said his mother. "I don't have to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house." "That's our house," explained. "But this is Grandma's house. She KNOWS how to cook!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make A Draining And Drying Frame I needed a way to drain green beans and butter beans after picking and washing them. My husband made a frame and covered it with Hardware Cloth. After washing the beans, I pour them on the wire and spread them out to drain. I have found that the frame has other uses too. This morning, I washed pillows and the frame is perfect for drying them in the hot sun. The top side has no edging which makes it easy to rake the beans off into a bucket after they are dry. By hate litter from NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Anni was puzzled by the odd messages left on her answering machine. Day after day, friends and family would talk and then say, "Beep." She discovered the reason for the joke when she decided to listen to her greeting. "Hi," it said. "I'm not in right now, so please leave a beep after the message."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!" Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine June day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
» Tasters


[ view entry ] ( 340 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1263 )
How does a pre-written mail work? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, June 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
452 Italy invaded by Attila the Hun 
570 Relgion of Islam (submission) founded in Mecca 
632 Muhammad died. 
1783 Laki Volcano in southern Iceland begins 8-month eruption
1786 1st commercially-made ice cream sold (NY) 
1824 Washing machine patented by Noah Cushing of Quebec 
1940 Discovery of element 93, neptunium, announced 
1965 US troops ordered to fight offensively in Vietnam 
1967 Israel attacks USS Liberty in Mediterranean, killing 34 US crewmen
1979 The Source, 1st computer public information service, goes online 
2001 Tony Blair and his Labour Party won a second term
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't. -- Unknown For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. -- Gloria Borger Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. -- George Bernard Shaw We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act, but a habit. --- Aristotle Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying" --- Fran Lebowitz
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



> From Anna I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: "When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance."
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

Goldie, a middle aged Jewish woman goes to see a fortune-teller. " Two men are madly in love with me !" Goldie says. " Who will be the lucky one ? " The swami answers...." Morris will marry you, and Irving will be the lucky one. "
Thanks to Lillemore for sending in yesterday;s picture taken by her son Mikel Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Sandra Ramirez ina Aurora, Colorado Gas can in child seat, toddler lose A Facebook photo recently posted to the Colorado Department of Transportation's Facebook page shows a toddler and gas can sharing a vehicle's back seat. The gas can is securely strapped into a child's safety seat. The toddler, seated opposite the gas can, looks free to roam about the cabin. The female driver, the mother of the child, was cited for no proof of insurance and three counts of seat belt violations
Tech Support Pits: From: Rolly Re: How does a pre-written mail work? Dear Webby, I think you went a mile or two above my head with that pre-written email stuff. How does that work? Rolly Dear Rolly Windows has your default email program set in the Registry. Now you can call it from the DOS command line or with a shortcut. The standard call for doing that has always, even before Windows, been: mailto:name@domain.com It used to be just UNIX and Linux, but now it works the same on Windows. By adding a question mark, you can add parameters, just like you do with web pages. If you add ?subject=Email Shortcut Test so that it will be mailto:name@domain.com?subject=Email Shortcut Test and hit the shortcut icon, it will open a new email, address it to name@domain.com and fill in the subject line with Email Shortcut Test If you add to that command &CC=me@here.com then it will fill that into the CC line. The BCC works the same. And so does the BODY. That trick works great, when you have to send a lot of similar emails to certain people, and have to just add a word or not even that. An example would be telling somebody, that their kids are waiting at the bus stop. The whole email can in that case be pre-written. You simply hit that icon, then hit SEND. Done. Even faster, if you use a hot-key for that, and you already got one for SEND. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two tourists are driving through the countryside in Wales. At the quaint town of Llanhyfryddawelllehynafolybaarcudprindanf- ygythiadtrienusyrhafnauole, they stop for lunch and one tourist asks the waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" The waitress leans over and says, "Burrr-gurrr-Keeennng."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make A Draining And Drying Frame I needed a way to drain green beans and butter beans after picking and washing them. My husband made a frame and covered it with Hardware Cloth. After washing the beans, I pour them on the wire and spread them out to drain. I have found that the frame has other uses too. This morning, I washed pillows and the frame is perfect for drying them in the hot sun. The top side has no edging which makes it easy to rake the beans off into a bucket after they are dry. By hate litter from NC In case you don't know what "hardware cloth" is, it is old- fashioned metallic mosquito netting. Nowadays you can get it in plastic as well. It is just as strong but better suited for food items. You can get it pre-framed to fit screen doors and standard size windows. A small screen to just fit over a double sink is usually under $5. Have FUN! DeaarWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: "The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why, does the parrot cost so much?" asks the man. The owner says, "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer". The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the first parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX and Linux operating systems. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the owner replies, "To be honest I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A high school science class was asked the question, "When water becomes ice, which of its physical properties increases?" Everyone answered, "Its volume increases." Except for one wise guy who was obviously thinking outside the box, and no doubt in reality, closer to the truth, "When water becomes ice, its price increases."
» Wind Chimes


[ view entry ] ( 240 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 48 )
I Want This T Shirt 






[ view entry ] ( 342 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 43 )
Shortcut for pre-written email 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1775 United Colonies change name to United States
1863 Mexico City captured by French troops 
1912 US army tests 1st machine gun mounted on a plane 
1929 Vatican City becomes a soverign state 
1938 Boeing 314 Clipper flying boat 1st flown
1967 Israel captures Wailing Wall in East Jerusalem 
1971 Soviet Soyuz 11 crew completes 1st transfer to orbiting Salyut 
1981 Israel destroys alleged Iraqi plutonium production facility 
1989 Wayne Gretzky won his 9th NHL Hart (MVP) Trophy in 10 years 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. --- Will Durant
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes, I thought I had a good reason. "My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the C.O. Much to my surprise he said, "Permission granted." Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O. asked why he should grant him permission, my friend re- sponded, "My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her during that occasion."
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

>From Mina When my son was in the ninth grade, we reluctantly agreed to let him move into the basement. Then I realized how convenient it was to get him to the breakfast table. Before, I used to stand at the bottom of the staircase and scream his name. Now all I had to do was flick the basement light off and on, and he was here. One morning I flicked the switch, and nothing happened. I did it several more times. "I'm on my way," my son called up. "You didn't have to yell."
Thanks to Likkemore for sending this picture taken by her son Mikel Click on the picture for the large version Boca Raton Sunrise
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Andrea Amanatides, 38, Albany, NY Loose woman drops the dope Andrea Amanatides, a 38-year-old Albany County woman, was charged a second time when she showed up to serve a six-month jail sentence, with a vagina filled with heroin and 256 prescription medication pills. According to the Albany County Sheriff's Office, Amanatides arrived at the Albany County Jail on Tuesday to begin a six-month sentence for a probation violation when her vagina failed keep a little secret she was hiding. Investigators say Amanatides filled a condom with 256 prescription pills and four bags of heroin. She then placed the condom inside her vagina prior to arriving at the jail. As she waited inside a holding cell, one of the pills dropped to the floor and rolled into open view. When Amanatides adjusted herself, the remaining drugs dropped to the floor as a security camera filmed the embarrassing windfall. Deputies recovered the drugs, which included 90 Lyrica pills, 37 Adderall pills, 50 Valium pills, 43 Trazadone pills, 10 Ambien pills, 26 Oxycontin pills and four bags of heroin. Amanatides was charged with five misdemeanor counts of criminal possession of a controlled substance and a felony charge of promoting prison contraband.
Tech Support Pits: From: Glenis Re: Start a partly pre-written mail with a shortcut Dear Webby, I saw one of the IT guys click on an icon and an already addressed email opened up. He just put some quick comments into the body of the email and fired it off. I didn't want to ask him and appear stupid, especially since those guys can't explain anything anyway. I take information by phone and then fire quotes by email to one of the four salespeople. I know YOU can explain how to do that. Thanks Glenis Dear Glenis Right-click on a free spot on the desktop's edge, New Shortcut and into the location field type (Everything on one line between the stars, even though I line-wrap it here for easier readability) ************* mailto:johnnie@company.com?subject=Quote # 123456&body=Hi Johnnie%0AThis is Line Two%0AThis is Line Three%0A%0AGlenis ************ %0A is the top secret command for a line feed. By the way, do NOT use quotes around the subject line or body parts like Microsoft suggests. That does not work. Windows would show the quotes and mess things up. With the Quote number in the subject line, just use the first few numbers, that don't change, and add the last three digits manually. With the body of the mail, I only added Line Two and Three to show you the way to add line feeds. You would of course use your own text there, whatever is the same in each email. In the Shortcut Settings you can go to Web Document and make a HotKey or Shortcut key, for example CTRL + ALT + J After that, whenever you hit CTRL + ALT + J the half written mail to Johnnie opens, Be careful that you don't assign a nearby letter to a mail to your lover! An accidental "Let's have a quickie at lunch" might get misinterpreted, if it gets to the wrong person. It is best to NOT use company mail for personal mails. If you have any doubts about that, check out how Nancy Sebring, the Superintendent of Public Schools in Des Moines, Iowa lost a $275,000 job, and most likely also her marriage. Steamy Emails from Superintendent Use Skype or Gmail for private stuff, not company mail! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, "Do you have a hammer?" A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, he came out and asked, "Do you have a chisel?" Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, "What are you doing to my wife?" "Not a thing," replied old Doc Carver. "I can't get my instrument bag open."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Christmas Decorations in Santa Sacks Each year I store away all my decorations in Santa sacks that have a drawstring top. When Christmas rolls around again I get the bags down from the storage rack in the garage. There is no dust and everything is just where I left it. By Melinda from Melbourne, Australia Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared a batch of bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members. "How are you feeling?" the visitor asked. "Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!" "What are you worried about, dear?" her friend asked. "You look like you're in good health. They are taking care of you, aren't they?" "Yes, they are taking very good care of me." "Are you in any pain?" she asked. "No, I have never had a pain in my life." "Well, what are you worried about?" her friend asked again. The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry. "Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where I went."
» Hum-along-Tunes


[ view entry ] ( 311 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1208 )
Mail with ZIP files attached 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, June 6

Congratulations to Wisconsin!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1813 US invasion of Canada halted at Stoney Creek (Ont) 
1882 Cyclone in Arabian Sea (Bombay India) drowns 100,000 
1882 Electric iron patented by Henry W. Seely, NYC
1914 1st air flight out of the sight of land (Scotland to Norway) 
1932 US Federal gas tax enacted
1933 1st drive-in theatre opens (Camden NJ) 
1942 1st nylon parachute jump
1942 1st nylon parachute jump
1944 D-Day: 150,000 Allied Expeditionary Force lands in Normandy, France 
1967 6 day war between Israel & Arab neighbors begins 
1982 Israel invades southern Lebanon, site of Palestinian guerrillas
1988 George Bush makes campaign promise to support reparations for WW II
           Japanese-American internees (promise broken by Clinton)
2012 Transit of Venus (between Earth & Sun) occurs
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge. --- Edward Chilton Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. --- Kurt Herbert Alder
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!



The butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on the door. "Please let me in," says the man. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one. We have some guests coming over." "OK" says the butcher. "Let me see what's left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. "That one's too skinny. What else have you got?" the man asks. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes, then brings the same turkey back out to the man. "Oh no," says the man, "that one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them."
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !

Tony went to the doctor and told him that he couldn't hear himself fart. So the doctor gave Tony some pills. Tony asked him, "Will these make me hear better?" Doc replied, "No, but they will make you fart louder."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Erin Sayar Teacher jailed for Having Sex with 16-Year-Old Student at "Horndog High" Erin Sayar, a 36-year-old English teacher at James Madison High School has been jailed after she allegedly had an affair with a 16-year-old student. According to police, an investigation was launched when the girlfriend of a 16-year-old student hacked into his Facebook page and found intimate messages between him and Sayar. Investigators say Sayar was tutoring the student when the relationship turned sexual. Sayar and the student reportedly engaged in sexual intercourse 8 to 12 times before the alleged relationship was uncovered. Some of the alleged sex acts reportedly took place in Sayar's SUV. In other instances the student skipped his 6th hour weight training class to visit her. The door to her classroom was reportedly locked during the pair's closed-door sessions. The couple also reportedly exchanged almost 4,000 messages over a 17-day period, according to an arrest affidavit. During questioning, the student was able to identify several tattoos, including a large mermaid tattoo, in intimate areas of Sayar's body. Sayar, who is a married with a child, was booked into jail and charged with rape, criminal sex act and sexual abuse of a minor. Her bond has been set at $10,000. James Madison High School has been dubbed "Horndog High" after at least three other teachers have been fired from the school after getting caught with sex-related offenses.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ocra Re: mail with zip files Dear Webby, lately I have received quite a few emails that had zip files attached, for example one today, claiming to be from DHL. I don't know anybody, who would send anything to me via DHL. All the kids and grandkids ever send is requests for money. So I have not opened it. Are all mails with attached zip files phony? Thanks Ocra Dear Ocra Yes. Sometimes programs, that require a certain directory structure, are in zip format. However, those are not sent via email, but are available as a download. If an email has a ZIP file attached, delete the attachment and then delete the email. Ignore the authentic looking logo, that the scammers copied. Any idiot can do that. Just dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!" "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?" The clerk replies, "Canned or frozen?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wash Shower Curtain with Clips Attached I used to hate washing my shower curtain. Undoing all those clips at the top, what a bore! One day, I took the entire curtain, clips and all, and threw it in the washing machine on delicate. What a time saver! No damage was done to the curtain and I saved so much time and aggravation. By junk02915 from Riverside, RI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man who was told by his doctor that he was suffering from acute alcoholism. The man said, "Doc, I can't tell my wife I am suffering from alcoholism. Isn't there one of those big medical terms that I can give her?" The doctor said, "As far as I'm concerned, there is no other term for it but alcoholism." As the man left the doctor's office he passed a music store and in the window his eye caught the word "syncopation". That word seemed to strike a responsive chord somewhere. When he got home he told his wife the doctor had said he was suffering from acute syncopation. That was all right until she looked up the word in the dictionary and read: "Syncopation - an irregular and erratic movement from bar to bar".
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there. "Here," she said, handing him the coats. "This time you put the kids into their coats, and I'll go honk the horn."
» Winged Multipedes


[ view entry ] ( 2 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 337 )

<<First <Back | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | Next> Last>>