How is HTML the same for PC and Mac? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, June 23

I find the current hysteria about the Confederate flag 
rather silly. Except for the odd weirdo and the leftist
media, most people identify the Confederate flag with the
"Dukes of Hazard", high speed police chases, tailgate parties,
big BBQs, and Southern Belles.

Every time I asked somebody, who had a Confederate flag
flying from their Harley or pick-up, whether it was about
the Civil War, they told me: "Nah, just mild rebellion 
against the feds. All young and adventurous people are a
bit rebellious. Nobody remembers the Civil War. I think we
almost won it, but no red-blooded American will admit to
having paid attention during history classes."

The term "race" or color was never mentioned. 
The "Dukes of Hazard" and "Easy Rider" had the Confederate 
flag, and Gone with the wind. Anything back further than 
that is probably Latin or Greek anyway.
So what's the big deal all of a sudden?

The Dukes of Hazard fans are not going to take kindly to that!


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who assaulted girlfriend after she walked in on him pleasuring another woman and started screaming at him. Details at Boneheads Today in 1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better. --- Emile Coue (1857 - 1926) We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. --- Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale. "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date." "So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor. "Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work, I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him." ______________________________________________________ A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, ", can you spell 'before'?" stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent , now can you use it in a sentence?" says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore." ______________________________________________________ From dad Click through to the big picture Some of the "winterhard" cacti, that do OK being left out and snowed on. The trick was to sow them there and let them get used to the climate. They need weeding again. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Chancey, 50, Sebastian, Floriduh
Florida man, who assaulted girlfriend after she walked in on him pleasuring another woman and started screaming at him. A woman was assaulted by her “on and off boyfriend” after walking in on him performing oral sex on another woman in a bedroom in the couple’s Florida home, police report. Richard Chancey, 50, was arrested around 4 AM yesterday and booked into jail on a misdemeanor domestic violence charge. He remains locked up in lieu of $1000 bond, according to jail records. Responding to a 911 call, a Sebastian Police Department officer interviewed Sharon Lisovich, who said that she “began yelling at Richard and arguing with him” after discovering her beau “performing oral sex” on another woman, who is only identified as Angelika in the police report. As they argued, Lisovich recalled, Chancey struck her in the face with “an open fist.” Angelika confirmed Lisovich’s account of being hit by Chancey, but she “refused to advise on anything further.” When questioned by a cop, Chancey said that he was “in the spare bedroom with Angelika performing oral sex on her when Sharon walked in and began yelling and screaming at him.” Chancey claimed that Lisovich struck him in the back, but that he did not return the blow.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Manny Re: How is HTML the same for PC and Mac? Hi DearWebby, I grew up believing that no PC could ever read a Mac disk and no Mac could ever read a PC disk. How can both read the same HTML web page? Do I have to learn HTML now? Manny Dear Manny At night all cats are black, and on the web everything is readable, thanks to the browsers. Well, almost everything. I remember in the 80's when the web was still mostly UNIX and mostly text, that I resented that anything beyond text required a browser to read. Well, I got used to it. Lynx and then Netscape brought a whole new world of color. It has always been easy to snoop the underlying code of most web pages, as long as they were not written with Microsoft WORD. Other than that, though, the underlying code, HTML, was straightforward and easy. <. font color=red>This is red.<./font> Quite simple and straightforward. Hundreds, maybe thousands, of kids w rote tutorials and even page generators for fancier stuff. Some are still around, like the HTML course, that I have linked to since the earliest days of the Internet. Re your last question: No, you don't have to learn HTML. Nowadays probably 3/4 of the web pages out there are made just with page generators or WordPress, where you just upload text and pictures. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Teacher: "What is used as a conductor of electricity?" Johnny: "Why...er?" Teacher: "Wire is right. Very good. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?" Johnny: "The what?" Teacher: "That's absolutely correct, the Watt. Now class, I want you all to study just as diligently as Johnny did!" ______________________________________________________ Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir. ------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Furniture Polish for Removing Labels I was looking for a easy way to remove the labels from glass jars. I started reading all the different solutions people had come up with, but I still wanted something easier. I was looking around my room and I saw my furniture polish sitting on top of my stereo. I grabbed it sprayed it on one of the jars and grabbed a flat screwdriver. It worked really good. Then I realized that if I just spray a coat of polish on the jar and let it sit for 10 minutes or maybe even five, the label and all the sticky glue comes right off with the wipe of a towel. What's even better is that I bought my furniture polish at the 99 cent store. By Gellen [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail." _____________________________________________________ A teenager was sitting in church, and when the collection plate was passed around, he quickly pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in. Just then, the person behind him tapped him on his shoulder and handed him a $20 bill. The boy smiled, placed the $20 in the plate and passed it on, admiring that the man was being generous. Then the boy felt another tap from behind and heard a whisper: "Son," the man said, "that was your $20 bill that had fallen out of your pocket." ____________________________________________________
A beautiful baby and child who grew into a beautiful Queen.

Today in 
1683 William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni 
 Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania. 
1700 Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a 
 truce with the Ottoman Empire. 
1758 British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French 
 at Krefeld in Germany. 
1760 The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, 
 Germany. 
1757 Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and 
 won control of Bengal. 
1848 A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 
1865 Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a 
 Cherokee chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate 
 army at Fort Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 
1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an 
 invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 
1884 A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina. 
1902 Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the 
 Triple Alliance for a 12 year duration. 
1904 The first American motorboat race got underway on the 
 Hudson River in New York. 
1926 The first lip reading tournament in America was held 
 in Philadelphia, PA. 
1931 Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on 
 the first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane. 
1934 Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after 
 defeating the country. 
1951 Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire 
 discussions in the Korean War. 
1952 The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, 
 Korea. 
1956 Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 
1966 Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed 
 by tear gas. 
2013 In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter 
 mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. 
2015 NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit around 
 Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23, 2001. 
2015  smiled.


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Is the HTML course OK for Mac? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, June 22

Thank you, Roy
                                                   
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Guy in Florida, who Tried to Burn House With Bowling Ball Bomb Details at Boneheads Today in 1807 British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a provocation leading to the War of 1812. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. --- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945) Nothing has an uglier look to us than reason, when it is not on our side. --- Halifax ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. "Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "They're not getting divorced if I have anything to do about it," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for our anniversary and even paying their own fares...Now what do we tell them for Thanksgiving ?" ______________________________________________________ The reception had ended and the newlyweds had just snuck off to the honeymoon resort. After supper and champagne, the groom retired to the bedroom. But Ashley pulled a chair up to the balcony doors and sat there, gazing at the stars. "Dear," asked the somewhat impatient husband. "Aren't you coming to bed?" "No," Ashley announced. "My mother told me this was going to be the most beautiful night of my life, and I don't want to miss a single minute of it." ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture Calbucco time lapse movie of the volcano ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tyler Butler, 21, Loxahatchee, Floriduh
Guy Tried to Burn House With Bowling Ball Bomb As the Sun-Sentinel puts it, "it's hard to stand out when it comes to crime in South Florida," but that's exactly what one 21-year-old Loxahatchee resident has allegedly done. Per the AP, Tyler Butler was arrested on charges of arson and using an explosive device after cops say he tried to prevent the bank from selling his foreclosed home in a way that suggests he's watched too many Looney Tunes cartoons: blowing up the place with a bowling ball bomb, complete with what Butler told deputies was a gunpowder-filled center and a rope for a fuse, the Sun-Sentinel reports. People in Butler's neighborhood called 911 to report a house fire around 10pm Sunday, and someone told police on the scene that Butler was still inside. Deputies detained the man as he left the burning building, and as firefighters put out the blaze, they noticed a bowling ball with what looked like a wick sticking out. Witnesses said Butler had mentioned before the fire that "he wasn't gonna leave the house he [used] to live in, that he would burn it down," per a Palm Beach County sheriff's arrest report.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Patricia Re: HTML for Mac Hi DearWebby, Is the free HTML course you have advertised on your website ok to use if you have a Mac? I have a Maverick OSX. I’ve belonged to Dear Webby since 1994….can’t believe that’s 21 years ago now! (My subscription still comes through an old yahoo URL I keep). Thanks for your web page, it’s great! Sincerely, Patricia Dear Patricia Yes, sure! HTML was developed in the 80s to work the same for everybody, UNIX, Linux, PC and Mac. It is the language used on the Internet, regardless of computer type or spoken language. Even though that site is unchanged except for ads added, every word they say about HTML is still 100% correct. A few minor things have been added to HTML since then, but it is unlikely that you will need those. If you do, just skype (dearwebby) or write me. Incidentally, that is how I got the name DearWebby: giving HTML and web help via PowWow, a program like Skype, that was popular in the early and mid 90's. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The doctor noted with astonishment a tattoo of a bluebird on the shoulder of his 70 year old patient, who was in his office for her annual check up. She told him that she had wanted one her whole life, so she and her 16 year old grandson decided that they would get birthday tattoos together. The doctor inquired why she had not got one sooner. "Until now," she replied, "I was afraid of what my mother would say." ______________________________________________________ If you have a lot of tension and you get headaches, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirins and keep away from children." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Furniture Polish for Removing Labels I was looking for a easy way to remove the labels from glass jars. I started reading all the different solutions people had come up with, but I still wanted something easier. I was looking around my room and I saw my furniture polish sitting on top of my stereo. I grabbed it sprayed it on one of the jars and grabbed a flat screwdriver. It worked really good. Then I realized that if I just spray a coat of polish on the jar and let it sit for 10 minutes or maybe even five, the label and all the sticky glue comes right off with the wipe of a towel. What's even better is that I bought my furniture polish at the 99 cent store. By Gellen [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ During a sermon a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. "About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' "It worked." _____________________________________________________ "I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club. "Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive." "Not really," said the little old man. "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke." ____________________________________________________
Beautiful masks made from leather, feathers and stone.

Today in 
1558 The French took the French town of Thioville from 
 the English. 
1611 English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several 
 other people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay 
 by mutineers. 
1772 Slavery was outlawed in England. 
1807 British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a provocation 
 leading to the War of 1812. 
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated a second time. 
1832 J.I. Howe patented the pin machine. 
1874 Dr. Andrew Taylor Still began the first known practice 
 of osteopathy. 
1909 The first transcontinental auto race ended in Seattle, WA. 
1911 King George V of England was crowned. 
1915 Austro-German forces occupied Lemberg on the Eastern 
 Front as the Russians retreat. 
1925 France and Spain agreed to join forces against Abd el Krim 
 in Morocco. 
1933 Germany became a one political party country when Hitler 
 banned parties other than the Nazis. 
1939 The first U.S. water-ski tournament was held at 
 Jones Beach, on Long Island, New York. 
1940 France and Germany signed an armistice at Compiegne, 
 on terms dictated by the Nazis. 
1941 Under the codename Barbarossa, Germany invaded the 
 Soviet Union. 
1942 A Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens at the 
 mouth of the Columbia River. 
1944 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the 
 "GI Bill of Rights" to provide broad benefits for 
 veterans of the war. 
1945 During World War II, the battle for Okinawa 
 officially ended after 81 days. 
1946 Jet airplanes were used to transport mail for 
 the first time. 
1956 The battle for Algiers began as three buildings in 
 Casbah were blown up. 
1964 The U.S. Supreme Court voted that Henry Miller's book, 
 "Tropic of Cancer", could not be banned. 
1970 U.S. President Richard Nixon signed an extension of the 
 Voting Rights Act of 1965. It required that the voting age 
 in the United States to be 18. 
1973 Skylab astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific 
 after a record 28 days in space. 
1978 James W. Christy and Robert S. Harrington discovered 
 the only known moon of Pluto. The moon is named Charon. 
1980 The Soviet Union announced a partial withdrawal of its 
 forces from Afghanistan. 
1989 The government of Angola and the anti-Communist rebels 
 of the UNITA movement agreed to a formal truce in their 
 14-year-old civil war. 
1990 Checkpoint Charlie was dismantled in Berlin. 
1992 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that hate-crime 
 laws that ban cross-burning and similar expressions of 
 racial bias violated free-speech rights. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that evidence illegally 
 obtained by authorities could be used at revocation 
 hearings for a convicted criminal's parole. 
1998 The 75th National Marbles Tournament began in Wildwood, NJ. 
1999 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that persons with remediable 
 handicaps cannot claim discrimination in employment under 
 the Americans with Disability Act. 
2009 Eastman Kodak Company announced that it would discontinue 
sales of the Kodachrome Color Film.
2015  smiled.


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Windows does zip without external programs 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, June 21

Thank you, Steve
Thank you Bonnie!


Happy Fathers Day!
                                                   
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Wanted Man Was Wearing A "You Can Run, But You Can't Hide" T-Shirt When Apprehended Details at Boneheads Today in 2004 SpaceShip One, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. --- Wendell Johnson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well- preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have walked 5 miles in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk, for 5 miles." ______________________________________________________ The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all." The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home." ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture From BigGeekDaddy ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tieren Watson, 26, Little Rock, Arkansas
Wanted Man Was Wearing A "You Can Run, But You Can't Hide" T-Shirt When Apprehended A suspect in an Arkansas shooting was wearing a t-shirt reading “You can run, but you can’t hide” when he was tracked down late Tuesday evening after several days on the run. Tieren Watson, 26, was apprehended at a Little Rock motel by a task force of local police and federal marshals. Pictured at right in handcuffs, Watson was arrested in connection with a June 13 shooting in Benton that left a female victim hospitalized in serious condition. Watson, a convicted felon, is facing an array of charges, including battery, aggravated assault, and weapons possession by a felon. He is being held in the Saline County Detention Facility.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Michael Re: Windows does zip Hi DearWebby, > For zipping up files, though, you still need a program > like Winzip or 7zip. That hasn’t been true for a long time. I think that even Windows XP was able to create zip files with only what was installed in the basic operating system, though I don’t have a running copy to test it at the moment. I’m sure that was true of Windows 7, and have tested it in Windows 8.1. Right now I only have Windows 8.1 to test with, so the menu choices may be slightly different in earlier versions. To create a zip file, open Windows Explorer (hold down Windows key, then press E), navigate to where the files are that you want to zip up, select one or more files, right click, choose Send to, then Compressed (zipped) folder. It’s much easier to do than it is to describe it, especially if you’ve done it once or twice. You can accept the file name that Windows provides, or type a new one. Windows itself will create the zip file and put the files in it. You can even put a whole folder and all of its sub-folders in a zip file using this technique. Aloha, -mkr Dear Michael Thanks for the correction! Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A pastor was speaking to a group of second-graders about the resurrection of Jesus when one student asked, "What did Jesus say right after He came out of the grave?" The pastor explained that the Gospels do not tell us what He said. The hand of one little girl shot up. "I know what He said: He said, 'Tah-dah!'" ______________________________________________________ King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon was astonished that the hungry lions had not eaten Daniel. He summoned Daniel and promised him that if he would reveal his secret, the king would give him his freedom. "It was easy, your excellency," Daniel said. "I went around and whispered in each lion's ear - 'After dinner, there will be speeches.'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add Fruit to Ice Cubes I drink a lot of plain water but instead of adding ice, I freeze cubed watermelon or other fruits; like blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, even sliced fruit like oranges, lemons, etc. Add to drinks for a festive, flavorful and colorful drink! Great way to help kids drink healthier too! By Donna [249] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a young minister was still single, he preached a sermon he entitled, "Rules for Raising Children." After he got married and had children of his own, he changed the title of the sermon to "Suggestions for Raising Children." When his children got to be teenagers, he stopped preaching on that subject altogether. _____________________________________________________ Church Bloopers "The church had a going-away party for Pastor Brown. The congregation was anxious to give him a little momentum." "We will have a Special Holiday Bingo & Dinner on Monday evening. You will be given two bingo packs, which cover all games played, and your choice of children or roast beef for dinner." ____________________________________________________
An amazing find in an abandoned house.

Today in 
1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at Machynlleth 
 and was crowned Prince of Wales. 
1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical mechanical 
 reaper for farming. His invention allowed farmers to more than 
 double their crop size. 
1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. 
1913 Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump from 
 an airplane. 
1937 In Paris, Leon Blum's Popular Front Cabinet resigned. 
1938 In Washington, U.S. President Roosevelt signed the 
 $3.75 billion Emergency Relief Appropriation Act. 
1941 German troops entered Russia on a front from the 
 Arctic to Black Sea. 
1945 Pan Am announced an 88-hour round-the-world flight 
 at a cost of $700. 
1958 In Arkansas, a federal judge let Little Rock delay 
 school integration. 
1963 France announced that they were withdrawing from the 
 North Atlantic NATO fleet. 
1973 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states may ban 
 materials found to be obscene according to local standards. 
1974 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that pregnant teachers 
 could no longer be forced to take long leaves of absence. 
1985 Scientists announced that skeletal remains exhumed in 
 Brazil were those of Nazi war criminal Josef Mengele. 
1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American 
 flag as a form of political protest was protected by the 
 First Amendment. 
2001 Former Haitian Army colonel Carl Dorelien taken into 
 custody in Port St. Lucie. Dorelien had been in exile since 
 1994 when he was sentenced to life in prison for his role 
 in a 1994 massacre. 
2003 The fifth Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Order 
 of the Phoenix," was published by J.K. Rowling. Amazon.com 
 shipped out more than one million copies on this day making 
 the day the largest distribution day of a single item in 
 e-commerce history. The book set sales records around the 
 world with an estimated 5 million copies were sold on the 
 first day. 
2004 SpaceShip One, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by 
 Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 
 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the 
 distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space.
2015  smiled.


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Why zip? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, June 20
Longest day, shortest night. Watch where the sun rises
and sets, and mark it on a window or door frame.
                                                   
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk, who drove himself to Kentucky police station, asked for DUI arrest Details at Boneheads Today in 0451 Roman and Barbarian warriors brought Attila's army to a halt at the Catalaunian Plains in eastern France. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. --- Socratex Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity. --- Horace Mann (1796 - 1859) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man is celebrating his 100th birthday, so the editor of the local newspaper sends a reporter over to do a feature story on the old timer. The reporter begins by asking the old tried and true question, "To what do you attribute your longevity?" "Well, young lady," the gentleman says, "I never smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day, never got drunk and didn't over-eat. I didn't get up too early every morning, but I sure stay up and active past midnight." "But, I had an uncle who did exactly the same," the reporter says, "and he only lived to be 80. How do you account for that?" "He didn't keep it up long enough," says the centenarian. ______________________________________________________ A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I reckon so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, shoot!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my little ducks!" ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher L. Stewart, 26, Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Man drove himself to Kentucky police station, asked for DUI arrest Authorities say a man drove under the influence of alcohol to a small-town Kentucky police station, where he requested that officers arrest him. The Kentucky New Era (http://bit.ly/1MNoFOI) reports that 26-year-old Christopher L. Stewart drove Tuesday night to the station in Hopkinsville, near the Tennessee border, and slammed on his brakes, nearly hitting a police cruiser. The newspaper reports that Stewart approached officers and said he was ready to go to jail for DUI. The paper says he told police he drank a pint before driving to the station. Police say Stewart also attempted to drink a closed bottle of fuel injector cleaning fluid, but officers stopped him. He was charged with driving under the influence.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mini Re: Why zip? Dear Webby, I have heard about zip files since I was a kid, but never understood the need for them. Well, I was a bit spoiled and always had good connections, but sometimes chafed at the length it took to download something, but never enough to worry about zipped stuff. What is it all about? Mini Dear Mini Having a much smaller file is only one part of it. Remember the Converter, that I recommended earlier in the week? It is a zip file of only 160 KB. The size of a small, mug-shot size picture. However, that zip contains more than one file. The program and a readme text. That is the real beauty of zip files. You can bundle a whole bunch of stuff into one zip file, so that the user does not have to download many different files. When the zip file is extracted, then you get all the individual files again. Some zip programs allow you to zip entire folders or even files from different folders into a self-extracting exe file, that does not require a zip program to extract the files. Quite often zip programs allow you to make zip files, that require a zip program to extract the files, and only their paid-for Pro version allows you to make self-extracting exe files. Usually you don't need that unless you are writing programs or do accounting and need to send a bundle of spreadsheets. In that case, though, the small fee for the Pro version is justified. The exception might be sending 758 pictures in 14 folders from your vacation to gramma, and not wanting to trouble her with getting a zip program to unzip the bundle. For just plain unzipping of single folders you don't need any program. Windows does that quite nicely. Browse to the zipped folder using Windows Explorer. Right click on the zipped folder. Click on "Open with". Choose Windows Explorer. A window will open showing the contents of the folder. You can then drag and drop or copy and paste the file(s) to a location of your choice. OR Right click on the zipped folder. Click "Extract all files". A destination window will open allowing you to browse to where you want your files extracted. Once you've chosen your destination click the "Extract" button. It's not as complicated as it seems. Once you have done it a few times, it becomes really easy. For zipping up files, though, you still need a program like Winzip or 7zip. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ From a church bulletin: "A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by Bert, one of our loyal members, in honor of his wife." ______________________________________________________ A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday ...and not too many weeks thereafter, just as services are starting, they show up. Attendance was good in the small Methodist church, and there wasn't a pew available; several church members were already seated on folding chairs. When the minister, just starting the service, saw the three Baptist deacons enter, he leaned down from the pulpit and stage-whispered to the nearest usher, "Please get three chairs for my Baptist friends in the back." The usher, hard of hearing, leaned closer and said, "I beg your pardon?" "Get three chairs for my Baptist friends," repeated the minister, but the usher strained closer with a puzzled look still on his face. Once more the minister tried, speaking slowly and distinctly. "Three chairs. For the Baptists," he enunciated. The usher's face lit up in comprehension, and he turned to face the congregation. "All right, everybody," he called out to the assembled worshippers. "Three cheers for the Baptists!" _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make a Seed Sprouter for Salads Sprouting jars are about $20 in your local healthfood store. Instead, pick up either a sheet or a pre-cut plastic needlepoint canvas from your local dollar or craft store and cut them to fit the top your Mason jar and screw on with the canning ring! Ta-Da! Now you can sprout your seeds for salads or to start seeds for your garden in it! By Donna [249] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ In the faculty lounge of an elementary school, some teachers were talking about reincarnation. One teacher remarked "If there's anything to the idea of reincarnation, I know what I'd like to come back as." "OK, tell us what," said a couple of colleagues. "I'd like to come back," said the teacher, "as a really nasty childhood disease." _____________________________________________________ Joe and his wife get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting up with her pestering, he finally decided he'd had enough and advised her that he would no longer drive with her in the car. Later that day, on his way home from doing some shopping at the mall, he heard his cell phone ring as he was merging onto a freeway. It was his wife calling. By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind him. "Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights; it's starting to rain." His foot slipped accidentally from the gas to the brake pedal. Crunch! ____________________________________________________
The beautiful Butchart Gardens of Victoria BC. I could so easily get lost in all that beauty.

Today in 
0451 Roman and Barbarian warriors brought Attila's army to 
 a halt at the Catalaunian Plains in eastern France. 
1397 The Union of Kalmar united Denmark, Sweden, and 
 Norway under one monarch. 
1756 In India, 150 British soldiers were imprisoned in a 
 cell that became known as the "Black Hole of Calcutta." 
1782 The U.S. Congress approved the Great Seal of the US. 
1791 King Louis XVI of France was captured while attempting 
 to flee the country in the so-called Flight to Varennes. 
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a cotton gin patent. He 
 received the patent on March 14. The cotton gin initiated 
 the American mass-production concept. 
1837 Queen Victoria ascended the British throne following 
 the death of her uncle, King William IV. 
1898 The U.S. Navy seized the island of Guam enroute to 
 the Phillipines to fight the Spanish. 
1923 France announced it would seize the Rhineland to 
 assist Germany in paying its war debts. That did not 
 go over well.
1943 Race-related rioting erupted in Detroit. Federal troops 
 were sent in two days later to end the violence that left 
 more than 30 dead. 
1967 Muhammad Ali was convicted in Houston of violating S
 elective Service laws by refusing to be drafted. The U.S. 
 Supreme Court later overturned the conviction. 
1977 The Trans-Alaska Pipeline began operation. 
1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers must treat 
 male and female workers equally in providing health benefits 
 for their spouses. 
2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the execution of 
 mentally retarded murderers was unconstitutionally cruel. 
 The vote was 6 in favor and 3 against. 
2015  smiled.


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Free zip program 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, June 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



>From Michael
Hi DearWebby,
Very cool. I’ve never even heard of beard-seconds!
Another very useful tip if you travel much: To find out 
up-to-the-second flight departure/arrival times, 
terminal/gate, delays, etc., just type the airline 
abbreviation and flight number (no spaces) into Google. 
For example, for American Airlines flight 234 use AA234. 
If you’re not sure of the airline abbreviation, just use 
the airline name, like Delta234. Much handier than trying 
to use each airline’s site, especially from my smartphone 
as I’m waiting for someone at the airport.
Aloha,
-mkr

Thanks, Michael!

                                                   
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania man, who robbed bank using sex toy disguised as bomb Details at Boneheads Today in 0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the Earth using two sticks. He got very close! More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Let's have some new cliches. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) --- If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. -- Dick Cavett ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sherlock Holmes : "Ah Watson, I see you have on your winter underwear." Watson : "Marvelous, Holmes, marvelous! How did you ever deduce that!" Sherlock Holmes : "Well, you've forgotten to put on your trousers." ______________________________________________________ A lunatic is sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another patient, who has been watching, suddenly cries, "Wait a minute! I just caught you cheating yourself." The first man puts his finger to his lips. "Shhh," he whispers. "Don't tell anybody, but I've been cheating myself at solitaire for years." "You don't say," says his surprised pal. "Don't you ever catch yourself cheating?" The first man shakes his head. "Naw," he says proudly. "I'm much too clever." ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aaron Stein, 35, Crafton, Pennsylvania
Man Robs Bank Using Sex Toy Disguised As Bomb A Pennsylvania man accused of using a bomb to rob a bank Monday afternoon says his weapon of choice was actually just a vibrator wrapped in duct tape. Aaron Stein, 35, allegedly robbed a PNC Bank in Crafton by telling employees he was carrying an explosive device. “He stated he had a bomb, showed the teller wires hanging out from his shirt and demanded cash,” Crafton Police Chief Mark Sumpter told WPXI.com. Police said the teller gave Stein an undisclosed amount of cash, but called 911 after he fled. Stein was arrested after Robinson Township Officer Mike Gastgeb spotted his white Toyota sedan along the road. “I noticed a white Toyota Corolla with a male in it, sitting in this parking lot over here,” Gastgeb told CBS Pittsburgh. “I went over to confront him, he drove away, I stopped him.” Another officer on the scene found money in a garbage bag inside Stein's car. Beneath the front passenger seat, officers found the "bomb" Stein is accused of using. Sumpter said it was made out of "a box, black tape, vibrator and cellphone," according to NBC News. Police say Stein confessed to the robbery and claimed he never had a real bomb. Nevertheless, a bomb squad was called to the scene and robots removed items from the car. A briefcase was found in the trunk but no explosives were found, according to CBS News. Stein also told officers “that he lost all of his money in the stock market last week and that he was desperate,” TribLive.com reports. Stein was charged on nine felony counts including aggravated assault, robbery, threatening to use a weapon of mass destruction. Because he allegedly pretended a sex toy was a bomb, he is also being charged with possessing a facsimile weapon of mass destruction. A preliminary hearing will be held June 25 in Allegheny County Magisterial District Court
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Steve Re: Free Zip program Dear Webby, is there a free program to open zip files? i will not be held hostage into buying win-zip. thank you for a fine newsletter & all the information. steve j Dear Steve 7zip seems to work quite well. They claim it compresses files better than WinZip. http://www.7-zip.org/ Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Practice Safe Food -- Use Condiments" ______________________________________________________ In his Sunday sermon the preacher used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a much too long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. With thoughts of awaiting Sunday dinners all responded except one old woman in the rear. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any." "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty-six" "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell this congregation how a woman can live to eighty-six and not have an enemy in the world." The old woman teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around and said "It's easy. I just outlived the sons of bees." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mix Beef, Pork and Veal for Best Meatloaf Everyone has their own old fashioned meatloaf recipe, usually handed down in the family. I know my mom taught me how to make my first meatloaf. I read somewhere that you can ask the butcher at your local supermarket to make up a 2 pound package of: 1/3 ground beef, 1/3 ground pork and 1/3 ground veal. He mixes this together and gives it to you for the price of the ground beef. Add your own spices, egg, bread crumbs (I use Panko crumbs) and whatever else you like: onions, green pepper etc. This comes out to be the most unbelievable meatloaf I have ever eaten. I topped mine with a 1/4 can of diced tomatoes. I made a gravy from the drippings (no grease), made a roux with flour and water and 1 envelope of onion soup mix and water and the remaining can of diced tomatoes. Cook about 60-75 minutes on 325 degrees. Serve this with hot whipped potatoes! Yummy! Source: Read an article in a magazine By Jackie H. [74] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a husband finally gave in and began to clean out his bureau, he discovered a bunch of socks that didn't match. As his wife looked at them, she noted that most of them had holes in them. "Land's sakes, man !" she exclaimed. "How long have you had these things?" "Since before we were married," he admitted. "I guess you could say that I had a lot of premarital socks!" _____________________________________________________ "What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to Busch Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times!" ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today in 
0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the Earth 
 using two sticks. He got very close!
1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the Battle of Dragasani. 
1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of Cherbourg, 
 France. 
1903 The young school teacher, Benito Mussolini, was placed 
 under investigation by police in Bern, Switzerland. 
1910 The first Father's Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington. 
1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship board 
 was established. 
1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day. 
1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British royal 
 family to dispense with German titles and surnames. 
1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum. 
1937 The town of Bilbao, Spain, fell to the Nationalist forces. 
1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that disallowed 
 pinball machines in the city. 
1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 21-year-old 
 neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They were divorced in 
 June of 1946. 
1942 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in 
 Washington, DC, to discuss the invasion of North Africa with 
 U.S. President Roosevelt. 
1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized United States citizen. 
1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea against the 
 Imperial Japanese fleet. 
1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain. 
1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's youngest 
 premier at age 34. 
1973 The Case-Church Amendment prevented further U.S. involvement 
 in Southeast Asia. 
1973 Gordie Howe left the NHL to join his sons Mark and 
 Marty in the WHA (World Hockey League). 
1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit 
 from Kourou, French Guiana. 
1983 Lixian-nian was chosen to be China's first president 
 since 1969. 
1987 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Louisiana law that 
 required that schools teach creationism. 
1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally 
 shipping personal computers to 16 countries subject to U.S. 
 export controls. 
1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million 
 to settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust 
 victims during World War II. Jewish leaders called the offer 
 insultingly low. 
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by 
 students at public-school football games violated the 
 1st Amendment's principle that called for the separation 
 of church and state. 
2015  smiled.


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Google's Converter 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, June 18

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Teacher Busted Selling Acid, Pills To Undercover Cops Details at Boneheads Today in 1863 J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative. --- H. G. Wells (1866 - 1946) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On still another diet, Sue had lost a few pounds and a lot of her usual sunny disposition. After making a snappish remark to her husband, she apologized and reminded him that he was supposed to stick by her through thick and thin. "I know," he said, dryly, "but thick was a lot easier." ______________________________________________________ The Father, passing thru the son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whaddya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch and we'll hose him down in the morning." ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture Dolomites in South-Tirol, Northern Italy I remember climbing those peaks. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cheryl Heineman, 45, Kissimmee, Floriduh
Florida Teacher Busted Selling Acid, Pills To Undercover Cops A third grade teacher in Florida was arrested on Wednesday after she allegedly sold Xanax and acid to an undercover police officer. Cheryl Heineman, 45, is charged with multiple counts of sale and delivery of Schedule IV narcotics, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Her alleged partner, 20-year-old Jack Lindsey, was also arrested in the case. Police say they tracked the Central Avenue Elementary School teacher as part of a lengthy narcotics investigation, buying drugs from her on at least three earlier occasions before the arrest this week in Kissimmee. Police recorded each of the drug deals, which typically took place in the parking lot of a shopping center, WKMG reports. School officials said that Heineman, who has worked in the school district for 25 years, has been re-assigned to responsibilities without student contact, pending the investigation, according to WFTV.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: MKR Re: Google Converter Dear Webby, When at my computer or smart phone, I use Google for unit conversion. For example, enter: 100 miles in km at google.com or in the URL in Firefox or Chrome (assuming Google is your default search provider). Google will reply: 100 Mile = 160.934 Kilometer in a nice form, with several drop-down choices for the “from” and “to” units, as well as for the category of conversion. It’s amazing how many different units they offer, and how many different categories. Aloha, -mkr Dear Michael Wow! I didn't know that. It even works from the address bar! And it even does the smart-ass question typical in the days of DOS, when every hobby programmer wrote a converter: "Does yours do pi lightyears into furlongs?" It does. Even furlongs to beard-seconds works! Thanks! DearWebby Beard Second is the distance a Juvenile's beard grows in one second: 5 nano-meters. It used to be 10nm, but Google halved that to 5 nm. Beard-second is used in the design of chips. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run." With this the platoon was overjoyed and cheered loudly, as Private Peters was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be the driver for my jeep." ______________________________________________________ A man and his wife are walking down the street when he suddenly said, "That lovely girl just looked at me and smiled." "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest," his wife replied. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Don't Substitute for Butter I don't mean to start a war here, but I am 77 and I have eaten butter all my life. I don't do the half measure and I don't add water. If a recipe calls for butter I use it because it is dairy. Who knows what is really in margerine. I remember during WWII when butter was not available and we had to use margarine. Even as a little kid I hated it. I have lived for a long time on butter, in my mashed potatoes and in my pastas while they are cooking. At my house if the instructions say butter I use butter. We scramble our eggs with it. And DH and I are healthy as a pair of horses. By Marty Dick [154] Amen! I use butter even if the recipe calls for some wimpy substitute. And I eat real meat and not some GM weed derived tofu. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them. Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic stuff?" He hadn't and said so. Then she said "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing." Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. "Well,? Is she selling drugs?" she asked, excitement pouring out with her voice. "No, she's not." he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well,? What is it, then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesman." "A battery salesman?" cried the wife. "Yes," he replied, "She sells 'C' cells by the sea shore!" _____________________________________________________ An 18th century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished, comes on a roadside inn emblazoned with a sign carrying the name "St. George and the Dragon." He knocks on the door, and the innkeeper's wife sticks her head out of a window above the sign. "Could ye spare some victuals?" the man asks. The woman glances at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No," she shouts. "Could I have a pint of ale then?" he asks. "No, I said." "Could I at least use your privy?" "No," she shouts again. "Well, might I please....?" "What now?" the woman screeches, not allowing him to finish. "D'ye suppose that I might have a word with George?" ____________________________________________________
Amazing champion sand sculptures! What talented people this old world has.

Today in 
1155 Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome. 
1429 French forces defeated the English at the battle of 
 Patay. The English had been retreating after the siege 
 of Orleans. 
1667 The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London. 
1778 Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. 
 Revolutionary War. 
1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against 
 Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. 
1815 At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an 
 international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon 
 abdicated on June 22. 
1817 London's Waterloo Bridge opened. The bridge, designed 
 by John Rennie, was built over the River Thames. 
1863 J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench. 
1873 Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote 
 for a U.S. President. 
1898 Atlantic City, NJ, opened its Steel Pier. 
1928 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the 
 Atlantic Ocean as she completed a flight from Newfoundland 
 to Wales. 
1951 General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign 
 against the French in Indochina. 
1953 Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General 
 Neguib as its first president. 
1959 A Federal Court annulled the Arkansas law allowing 
 school closings to prevent integration. 
1959 The first telecast received from England was broadcast 
 in the U.S. over NBC-TV. 
1979 In Vienna, U.S. President Jimmy Carter and Leonid 
 Brezhnev signed the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty 2. 
1983 Dr. Sally Ride became the first American woman in space 
 aboard the space shuttle Challenger. 
1998 The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web 
 search engine company Infoseek Corp. 
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS 
 probes to the Moon. It was the first American lunar mission 
 since Lunar Prospector in 1998. 
2009 Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, 
 judicial affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom 
 of Denmark. Greenlandic became the official language. 
2015  smiled.


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Metric Converter 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, June 17

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alabama man, who molested wife's Shih Tzu because she gave it more attention and it didn't have a headache. Details at Boneheads Today in 1876 General George Crook’s command was attacked and defeated on the Rosebud River by 1,500 Sioux and Cheyenne under the leadership of Crazy Horse. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" ______________________________________________________ A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, six widows and two single men stepped to the front. ______________________________________________________ These bloomed today. Dad sent a bunch, and I could not decide which of these two were the best. Click through to the big picture Click through to the big picture The rest of the June bloomers are at http://dawna.com/ 24 so far. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jonathan Edward Medley, 39, Geneva, Alabama
Alabama Man, who molested Wife's Shih Tzu because she gave it more attention and it didn't have a headache. An Alabama man is facing animal cruelty charges after police said he had sex with his wife's shih tzu. Jonathan Edward Medley, 39, of Geneva, was arrested Friday night, one day after his wife reported the alleged assault to authorities, according to WTVY.com. Medley's wife originally suspected her husband was cheating on her with another woman so she hid a recording device in the house hoping to get proof of his infidelities, the Dothan Eagle reports. Instead, she allegedly discovered Medley was molesting Buster, a two-year-old Shih Tzu that weighed less than 10 pounds. Even more sickening than the assault was the explanation police said Medley gave for his behavior. “He was mad at his wife because she paid more attention to the dog than him so he had sex with the dog,” Geneva Police Capt. Ricky Morgan said, according to Al.com. The dog apparently didn't have a headache. Medley was charged with a misdemeanor count of animal cruelty. His bond was set at $535. Medley was only charged with a misdemeanor because there is no longer a bestiality law in Alabama, according to the Dothan Eagle. WTVY reports that Buster was examined by a veterinarian and is doing well.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jan Re: Converter Dear Webby, I agree with you that we should convert to metric, like the rest of the world. Our system is totally ridiculous, when you think about it. I am getting used to using it when communicating with friends all over the world. It is totally simple and easy, once you are in it. Just move the decimal point! My problem is converting from the British Imperial system to the Metric system. Do you have an easy to use converter, that has most of the different units, and that is not too expensive? Thanks Jan Dear Jan I feel the same way. I had to learn the British Imperial system when I immigrated to Canada in 1970, and as soon as I was used to that, Canada upgraded to Metric. Nowadays, even though I had written a converter program in the late 80's, if I have to convert something, I use Josh Madison's converter. You can download it free at https://joshmadison.com/convert-for-windows/ or if you have trouble there, you can get it from my Tools at http://webby.com/tools near the bottom of the top menu or directly from http://webby.com/tool/convert.zip Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Bob My relatives were gathered for the reading of my Last Will And Testament after my long awaited death. The lawyer opened the envelope, and read solemnly: "Being of sound mind and body, I spent every last cent before I died." ______________________________________________________ Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!" _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Washing Soda for Cleaning Sponges Washing soda is best for cleaning sponges and cleaning cloths. It will remove soap, dirt, or anything else remaining within. Things caught in the sponge will cause odors as well as give germs a place to fester. I even clean my micro cloths this way. It is safe enough to clean Enjo mops and cloths. By katesnanna [12] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Once, while driving around in my pickup with my pet donkey in the back, I discovered I had a flat tire. I got out and had the donkey stick its head under the bumper and lift the truck.A passing farmer asked, "Hey, that's a pretty clever trick. How did you teach your donkey to lift the truck?" I replied, "Its a simple matter of the breed; this is a jack ass!" _____________________________________________________ The company psychiatrist was interviewing Nancy. As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company. Things were not not going well for Nancy. The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give Nancy one last chance. He asked, "if you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" Nancy quickly responded, "the living one." ____________________________________________________
The Rube Goldberg machine of marbles! Fun to watch and listen to.

Today in 
0362 Emperor Julian issued an edict banning Christians 
 from teaching in Syria. 
1579 Sir Francis Drake claimed San Francisco Bay for England.
1775 The British took Bunker Hill outside of Boston. 
1789 The Third Estate in France declared itself a national 
 assembly, and began to frame a constitution. 
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte incorporated Italy into his empire. 
1848 Austrian General Alfred Windischgratz crushed a 
 Czech uprising in Prague. 
1854 The Red Turban revolt broke out in Guangdong, China. 
1861 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed Dr. Thaddeus 
 Lowe demonstrate the use of a hydrogen balloon. 
1876 General George Crook’s command was attacked and 
 defeated on the Rosebud River by 1,500 Sioux and Cheyenne 
 under the leadership of Crazy Horse. 
1879 Thomas Edison received an honorary degree of Doctor 
 of Philosophy from the trustees of Rutgers College in 
 New Brunswick, NJ. 
1885 The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard 
 the French ship Isere. 
1912 The German Zeppelin SZ 111 burned in its hangar in 
 Friedrichshafen. 
1913 U.S. Marines set sail from San Diego to protect American 
 interests in Mexico. 
1917 The Russian Duma met in a secret session in Petrograd 
 and voted for an immediate Russian offensive against the 
 German Army. (World War I) 
1924 The Fascist militia marched into Rome. 
1926 Spain threatened to quit the League of Nations if Germany 
 was allowed to join. 
1928 Amelia Earhart began the flight that made her the first 
 woman to successfully fly across the Atlantic Ocean. 
1930 The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Bill became law. It placed the 
 highest tariff on imports to the U.S. 
1931 British authorities in China arrested Indochinese Communist 
 leader Ho Chi Minh. 
1932 The U.S. Senate defeated the bonus bill as 10,000 veterans 
 massed around the Capitol. 
1940 The Soviet Union occupied Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. 
1940 France asked Germany for terms of surrender in World War II. 
1941 WNBT-TV in New York City, NY, was granted the first 
 construction permit to operate a commercial TV station 
 in the U.S. 
1942 Yank, a weekly magazine for the U.S. armed services, 
 began publication. The term "G.I. Joe" was first used in a 
 comic strip by Dave Breger. 
1944 French troops landed on the island of Elba in the Mediterranean. 
1944 The republic of Iceland was established. 
1950 Dr. Richard H. Lawler performed the first kidney transplant in 
 a 45-minute operation in Chicago, IL. 
1953 Soviet tanks fought thousands of Berlin workers that were 
 rioting against the East German government. 
1963 The U.S. Supreme Court banned the required reading of the 
 Lord's prayer and Bible in public schools. 
1965 Twenty-seven B-52’s hit Viet Cong outposts but lost two 
 planes in South Vietnam. 
1970 North Vietnamese troops cut the last operating rail line 
 in Cambodia. 
1991 The Parliament of South Africa repealed the Population 
 Registration Act. The act had required that all South 
 Africans register classified by race at birth. 
2015  smiled.


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Does Norton 360 interfere? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, June 16

Thank you Betty
Thank you, James !!
Thank you John!!!!!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Virginia man caught taking upskirt photos at Walmart Details at Boneheads Today in 0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If there were no God, there would be no Atheists. --- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sydney J. Harris Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sydney J. Harris ______________________________________________________ A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was." ______________________________________________________ Q. What is the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A. A hunter lies in wait and a fisherman waits and lies. ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture 50th Anniversary ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Wiggins, 55, Henrico County, Virginia
Virginia man caught taking upskirt photos at Walmart It's not a pretty picture for a teacher's aide in Henrico County, Virginia, who is accused of taking upskirt photos at a Walmart. John Wiggins, 55, was arrested May 31 after police said he used a smartphone to snap pictures under the skirts of two women shopping in the store, WTKR TV reports. Police said Wiggins pretended to drop a box of pasta and took photos while crouching near women to pick it up. One woman suspected that Wiggins tried photographing her and passed on her hunch to her husband. He followed Wiggins and took a photo of him pulling the dirty trick on a different shopper, and shared the evidence with police, the station reported. The woman in the photo told the station the intrusion forced her to change her shopping routine. “I definitely haven’t worn a dress out shopping -- and I don’t know when I’ll do that again,” she said. Wiggins was a teacher's aide at Clover Hill High School and once coached wrestling at the school. School officials told WMMT TV that he was fired after the allegations were reported. Police said when Wiggins was arrested, he made statements that suggested he might be a danger to himself. The suspect was provided with mental health services before being booked on two counts of unlawful filming, a misdemeanor. He is behind bars and is due in court July 23, Henrico County Sheriff's officials told HuffPost.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Goldie Re: Norton 360 Dear Webby, I use Norton 360 on my computers. will malaware work ok with it and also crap cleaner? Goldie Dear Goldie Yes, both CrapCleaner and Malwarebytes will work fine. They won't get rid of Norton, they just ignore it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white? Were you THAT bad ?" ______________________________________________________ Woman's Wine Quote: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which we'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter Wine Quote: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you nothing but a headache." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cake Drops This recipe was "developed by" Cynthia Ann Starr in Louisiana. It started out as cake mix cookies but I had forgotten the exact recipe and "thought" it was 3 eggs. So I put everything together. These taste like cake and are soft like cake but you can pick them up like cookies. They do not crumble like cake does when picked up to eat. Freezes wonderfully. I freeze unfrosted and frost after the drops are completely thawed (about 20 minutes). Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: varies on size of drops used Ingredients: 1 box cake mix - any brand/flavor 1/4 cup water 1/4 cup oil 3 eggs Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Mix water, oil and eggs together. Add cake mix and beat at medium speed until blended. Drop onto foil lined cookie sheet (saves clean up between batches - just remove entire sheet of foil and replace with a fresh sheet drop for next batch & bake). Bake cake drops 8-10 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool to room temperature (about 20 minutes). Remove from foil. Frost with favorite frosting. Let frosting set 1/2 hour (approx). Eat and enjoy. By 4O.C. [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bert's wife decided to use curlers in her hair after she washed it. She came into the Family Room as Bert was watching TV. He said he only stared at her for a moment when she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? At what time is it set to go off?" _____________________________________________________ A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, make a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. "Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said. "Aw, Dad, it's okay" the son said. " The police car right behind us did the same thing." ____________________________________________________
A tropical rain forest inside an old German airship hanger. I want to vacation there!

Today in 
0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. 
1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven 
 Castle in Scotland. 
1815 Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of 
 Ligny, Netherlands. 
1884 At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller 
 coaster in America opened. 
1903 Ford Motor Company was incorporated. 
1907 The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St. Petersburg. 
1909 Glenn Hammond Curtiss sold his first airplane, the 
 "Gold Bug" to the New York Aeronautical Society for $5,000. 
1922 Henry Berliner accomplished the first American helicopter 
 flight at College Park, MD. 
1925 France accepted a German proposal for a security pact. 
1932 The ban on Nazi storm troopers was lifted by the von 
 Papen government in Germany. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the closure 
 of all German consulates in the United States. The deadline 
 was set as July 10. 
1955 Pope Pius XII excommunicated Argentine President Juan 
 Peron. The ban was lifted eight years later. 
1955 Argentine naval officers launched an attack on President 
 Juan Peron's headquarters. The revolt was suppressed by 
 the army. 
1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit aboard 
 the Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was the first 
 female space traveler. 
1972 Ulrike Meinhof was captured by West German police in 
 Hanover. She was co-founder of the Baader-Meinhof terrorist 
 group and the Red Army Faction (Rote Armee Fraktion). 
1975 The Simonstown agreement on naval cooperation between 
 Britain and South Africa ended. The agreement was formally 
 ended by mutual agreement after 169 years. 
1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted against 
 the South African government's plan to enforce Afrikaans as 
 the language for instruction in black schools. 
1978 U.S. President Carter and Panamanian leader Omar Torrijos 
 ratified the Panama Canal treaties. 
1978 The film adaptation of "Grease" premiered in New York City. 
1980 The movie "The Blues Brothers" opened in Chicago, IL. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush welcomed Russian President 
 Boris Yeltsin to a meeting in Washington, DC. The two agreed in 
 principle to reduce strategic weapon arsenals by about 
 two-thirds by the year 2003. 
1999 The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said that a 1992 federal 
 music piracy law does not prohibit a palm-sized device that 
 can download high-quality digital music files from the 
 Internet and play them at home. 
2000 U.S. federal regulators approved the merger of Bell 
 Atlantic and GTE Corp. The merger created the nation's 
 largest local phone company. 
2000 U.S. Secretary of Energy Bill Richardson reported that 
 an employee at the Los Alamos National Laboratory in 
 New Mexico had discovered that two computer hard drives 
 were missing. 
2008 California began issuing marriage licenses to 
 same-sex couples.
2015  smiled.


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How to get rid of browser hijacker 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, June 14

Thank you, George
Thank you Evelyn!
Thank you Carl!!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Creepy man in Minn. with ax, who frightened woman, led cops on high-speed chase Details at Boneheads Today in 1215 King John of England put his seal on the Magna Carta. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The future will be better tomorrow. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) There ought to be one day -- just one-- when there is open season on senators. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ A large two-engine train was crossing the country. After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you're not in an airplane." ______________________________________________________ ====From mary B Dear Webby! Your joke about the extinct dinosaurs reminded me of an old chestnut. Mommy skunk sent her little baby skunks, named In and Out, out to play. While In and Out were out in the woods, the two baby skunks became separated, and Out returned home alone. Well of course the whole skunk family panicked and all the family members went out to comb the woods. A short while later, Out came home with In in tow. When asked how he had located his brother, Out replied, "In stinked!" Keep up the great work. Mary B==== ______________________________________________________ Click through to the big picture My rhubarb in the far SE corner responded quite energetically to the rain we had. Sure tastes nice with a bit of honey and cinnamon, boiled for 3 minutes and poured over my pancake. If you don't have rhubarb, and are too far away to visit, have a look in your area. 99% of the people, who have rhubarb, can't keep up with it, and will gladly let you pick some. ONE stalk is enough for one person per meal. If the owners get all carried away and load you up with an armload, just cut it into cubes, put it into small containers or sandwich baggies and freeze them. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wayne Snyder, 63, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Creepy man in Minn. with ax, who frightened woman, led cops on high-speed chase Minneapolis, Minn. — Joan Learned was going through her morning routine when she looked out her second-story window and witnessed a strange sight. She saw a cargo van parked in her driveway. She watched as a man, identified by police as Wayne Snyder, sat in the van for several minutes. “All of a sudden he got out of his car, went to the back of the cargo, opened it up [and] took out an axe,” she continued. Joan watched the man walk across her front yard and drop the axe in her back yard. She called 911 and turned on the lights in her kitchen. “As I was talking to 911 he started backing out slowly,” she told WCCO. Snyder took off, leading arriving cops on a high-speed chase that ended when he rammed a woman’s vehicle and two police cars. Police Chief Mike Risvold told Valley News Live that Snyder drove his vehicle in what appears to be an intentional act of driving into one of the squad cars. “At the end [he] drove his vehicle in what appears to be an intentional act of driving into the driver’s door of one of our squad cars,” Wayzata Police Chief Mike Risvold said. When cops searched near Learned’s house, they found a machete and axe. Snyder won’t use them anytime soon. He is being held without bail on assault charges. Stanek says Snyder's last known address was in Washington state. Right now, their focus is figuring out why he's in Minnesota and for how long.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hester Re: Get rid of browser hijackker Dear Webby, Can you tell me how to get rid of a browser hijacker? Thanks Hester S Dear Hester There are many different browser Hijackers, and many of them use different methods. Try Crap Cleaner first. It's in my Tool Box at http://webby.com/tools If that doesn't do it, use MalwareBytes at http://webby.com/malwarebytes Just get the free version for now. It is very powerful and will get rid of all kinds of "Agreed-to" stuff, that the regular anti-virus programs don't stop. Browser Hijackers are not a virus, because they don't infect other machines, just the ones, where the user has clicked on an ACCEPT button without reading the small print, where she agreed to, on page 27, to sell her soul and virginity and rights to where her browser goes to, and to be flogged with stupid ads, and to donate all her data and nekkid pictures and so on. Yes, no kidding! All your nekkid pictures are in that huge picture bunch, that the hijacker people uploaded. You look like you lost weight! Malwarebytes will probably get rid of whichever version of Hijacker you got. If not, tell me more about it. I need detailed information to find the right remedy. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Friday, we had a tornado drill. We're underneath a parking garage and there's a PA announcement: "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows." Somebody yelled out: "Quick, get to a DOS prompt!" (For those, who grew up after DOS was hidden, to get the DOS prompt, click on START, type cmd and hit Enter. To return to Windows, type exit and hit ENTER ) ______________________________________________________ "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cake Drops This recipe was "developed by" Cynthia Ann Starr in Louisiana. It started out as cake mix cookies but I had forgotten the exact recipe and "thought" it was 3 eggs. So I put everything together. These taste like cake and are soft like cake but you can pick them up like cookies. They do not crumble like cake does when picked up to eat. Freezes wonderfully. I freeze unfrosted and frost after the drops are completely thawed (about 20 minutes). Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: varies on size of drops used Ingredients: 1 box cake mix - any brand/flavor 1/4 cup water 1/4 cup oil 3 eggs Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Mix water, oil and eggs together. Add cake mix and beat at medium speed until blended. Drop onto foil lined cookie sheet (saves clean up between batches - just remove entire sheet of foil and replace with a fresh sheet drop for next batch & bake). Bake cake drops 8-10 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool to room temperature (about 20 minutes). Remove from foil. Frost with favorite frosting. Let frosting set 1/2 hour (approx). Eat and enjoy. By 4O.C. [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ went to the emergency room for medical treatment on two badly burned ears . "What happened" asked the doctor. "Well, I was ironing while I was also watching a soap on TV, when the phone rang. I answered the iron." The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?" "Well, no sooner had I hung up," said , "when the neighbor called again asking what all the screaming was about." _____________________________________________________ A young man wanted to get his beautiful wife Tricia something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day Tricia goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do you like your new phone?" She replies "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal- Mart?" ____________________________________________________
Amazing tire art! Who knew you could do something like this with old tires!

Today in 
1215 King John of England put his seal on the Magna Carta. 
1381 The English peasant revolt was crushed in London. 
1389 Ottoman Turks crushed Serbia in the Battle of Kosovo. 
1607 Colonists in North America completed James Fort in 
 Jamestown, VA. 
1667 Jean-Baptiste Denys administered the first fully-
 documented human blood transfusion. He successfully 
 transfused the blood of a sheep to a 15-year old boy. 
1752 Benjamin Franklin experimented by flying a kite 
 during a thunderstorm. The result was a little spark 
 that showed the relationship between lightning and 
 electricity. 
1844 Charles Goodyear was granted a patent for the 
 process that strengthens rubber. 
1846 The United States and Britain settled a boundary 
 dispute concerning the boundary between the U.S. and Canada
1866 Prussia attacked Austria. 
1898 The U.S. House of representatives approved the 
 annexation of Hawaii. 
1909 Benjamin Shibe patented the cork center baseball. 
1911 The Computing-Tabulating-Recording Co. was incorporated 
 in the state of New York. The company was later renamed 
 International Business Machines (IBM) Corp. 
1917 Great Britain pledged the release of all the Irish 
 captured during the Easter Rebellion of 1916. 
1919 Captain John Alcock and Lt. Arthur W. Brown won $50,000 
 for successfully completing the first, non-stop trans-Atlantic 
 plane flight.
1940 The French fortress of Verdun was captured by Germans. 
1944 American forces began their successful invasion of 
 Saipan during World War II. 
1947 The All-Indian Congress accepted a British plan for the 
 partition of India. 
1948 Soviet authorities announced that the Autobahn from 
 West Germany to Berlin  would be closed indefinitely.
1958 Greece severed military ties to Turkey because of 
 the Cypress issue. 
1978 King Hussein of Jordan married 26-year-old American 
 Lisa Halaby, who became Queen Noor. 
1981 The U.S. agreed to provide Pakistan with $3 billion 
 in military and economic aid from October 1982 to 1987. 
1982 In the capital city of Stanley, the Falklands war 
 ended as Argentine troops surrendered to the British. 
1983 The U.S. Supreme Court reinforced its position on 
 abortion by striking down state and local restriction 
 on abortions. 
1992 It was ruled by the U.S. Supreme Court that the 
 government could kidnap criminal suspects from foreign 
 countries for prosecution. 
1994 Israel and the Vatican established full diplomatic 
 relations. 
1999 South Korean naval forces sank a North Korean 
 torpedo boat during an exchange in the disputed Yellow Sea. 
2015  smiled.


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Third trip to Mount Sinai 
..

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In Excel graph, extend last value to the end of the year 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, June 14

Thank you Johnny!
Thank you Neil!
Thank you Francis!
Thank you, Terri!!
Thank you Richard!!
Thank you Svend!!
Thank you Ronald!!
Thank you, Sig!!
Thank you, Nancy!!
Thank you Andrew!!
Thank you, Bruce!!
Thank you, Hermon!!!
Thank you Freda!!
Thank you, Paul!!
Thank you, Donnie!!!
Thank you David!!!
Thank you Elizabeth!!!!
Thank you Paul!!
Thank You, Cay!!!!

>From Hermon:
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, 
but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.  
Believe in what you write
It's forgotten tonight, benefits for a week.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NM Man, who printed photos of naked children at Walmart Details at Boneheads Today in 1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his reaping machine. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand. --- Sir Edward Appleton (1892 - 1965) Food is an important part of a balanced diet. --- Fran Lebowitz (1950 - ) ______________________________________________________ >From Janice A picture of Grein in Austria with the Donau river at normal levels. You can paste it onto the rainy weather picture: The Donau (Danube) is about as long as the Mississippi, and if a large area upstream has a lot of rain, all towns downstream have to expect high water. It is all quite well controlled with dams and locks. ______________________________________________________ The crumbling, old church building needed re- modeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." As he sat back down, somebody a few rows behind him lightly tossed a bit of plaster that had fallen there, onto him. The rich guy virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." As he sat down, somebody tossed an even larger chunk of plaster onto him. He jumped up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon, who had not seen the pranksters, to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again! We'll get a new church yet!" ______________________________________________________ A fifth grader looks sad, so her teacher asks, "What's the problem? I hope it's not homework again." "Well, uh, yes it is," the little girl says. "I accidentally made my homework paper into a paper airplane." "That wasn't a very bright thing to do," says the teacher, "but just this once, I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in." "Oh, but that won't work," the girl says, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked, and already handed it in." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Walter, The Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Leitch, 45, Vero Beach, Floriduh
Man printed photos of naked children at NM Walmart ALAMOGORDO, NM — A 45-year-old man is accused of printing photos of naked underage girls at a self-serve kiosk at Walmart. Anthony Leitch, 45, was arrested after a Walmart employee caught him processing the pornographic images, according to the Alamogordo News. The employee says Leitch entered his name as Tony Smith at the kiosk before inserting an SD card into the machine. He processed seven photos, which accidentally printed at the store’s photo counter. The police report states that four of the seven photos included naked girls between the ages of 8 and 12. The photos were believed to have been taken in the local area. Video surveillance footage helped police track down Leitch, who fled the store after the images printed at the counter. He was arrested at a traffic stop. Leitch admitted only to taking the photos that featured a girl who was clothed. Investigators conducted a search of Leitch’s home and recovered property that will be forensically examined. Leitch is being held at the Otero County Detention Center on a $20,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Samantha Re: Excel Graph extend last entry to rest of the year Dear Webby I think you answered this once before, when I was too young to be able to take the whole truth. I have agraph with entries for each day. I want to extend the level of the current day to the end of the year instead of the lione dropping to zero, when there is no value there yet. I know you can do it, and I want to do it too. Thanks Samantha Dear Samantha Use the handy dandy IF formula. Lets say the value to be displayed is in the F column, which shows the difference in the E column between the current day and the previous day. Put this formula into the topmost empty cell in E, let's say E175 =IF(E175<>"",E175-E174,E174) Reading it out loud, that would be: IF E175 is not empty, then show E175-E174, ELSE, if it is empty, show E174 Copy/Paste that down the F column to the end of the year. Now you get a line at the hight of the last entry extending to the end of the year, always changing to the level of the last entry. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If marriage was outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. ______________________________________________________ Joe, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Joe's job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered. At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Joe's place?" "Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Beer to Attract Slugs Slugs in the garden may be a problem for you. If they are just fill a plastic cup with beer and put it in the ground so that the top of the cup is ground level. The slugs will be attracted and in the morning you will have a cup'o slugs. By Katie M. [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Australia, where they have the cold season now: It was so cold last night the police stopped 3 youths pushing a mobile home down the street! When questioned by police they claimed to be trying to jump start the furnace! _____________________________________________________ >From Darlene Dear Webby, sorry to bother you with another repeat request. But could you please repeat that Hillbilly Medical Dictionary that you had two or three years ago ? Thanks Darlene Sure, Darlene. here it is: "REDNECK GUIDE TO MEDICAL TERMS " BENIGN--------What you be after you be eight ARTERY--------The study of paintings BACTERIA--------Back door to the cafeteria BARIUM--------What doctors do when patients die CESAREAN SECTION--A neighborhood in Rome CAT-SCAN-------- Searching for kitty CAUTERIZE--------Made eye contact with her COLIC--------A sheep dog COMA--------Punctuation mark D&C--------Where Washington is DILATE--------To live long ENEMA--------Not a friend FESTER--------Quicker than someone else FIBULA--------A small lie GENITAL--------Non-Jewish person G.I. SERIES--------World Series of military baseball HANGNAIL----------What you hang your coat on IMPOTENT--------Distinguished or well-known LABOR PAIN--------Getting hurt at work MEDICAL STAFF--------Doctors' cane MORBID--------A higher offer than I bid NITRATES--------Cheaper than day rates NODE--------I knew it OUTPATIENT--------A person who has fainted PAP SMEAR--------A fatherhood test PELVIS--------Second cousin to Elvis POST OPERATIVE--------A letter carrier RECOVERY ROOM--------Place to do upholstery RECTUM---------Damn near killed him SECRETION--------Hiding something SEIZURE----------Roman emperor TABLET--------A small table TERMINAL ILLNESS--------Getting sick at the airport TUMOR--------More than one URINE--------Opposite of you're out VARICOSE----------Near or close by ____________________________________________________
Amazing tire art! Who knew you could do something like this with old tires!

Today in 
1789 Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in 
 Timor in a small boat. 
1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his 
 reaping machine. 
1834 Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper. 
1841 The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston. 
1846 A group of U.S. settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the 
 Republic of California. 
1900 Hawaii became a U.S. territory. 
1907 Women in Norway won the right to vote. 
1917 General John Pershing arrived in Paris during World War I. 
1927 Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with 
 the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country. 
1940 The Nazis opened their concentration camp at Auschwitz 
 in German-occupied Poland. 
1940 German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied 
 loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew being 
 imposed for 8 p.m.
1943 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could 
 not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted 
 with their religious beliefs. 
1944 Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortresses attacked an iron and steel 
 works factory on Honshu Island. 
1945 Burma was liberated by Britain. 
1949 The state of Vietnam was formed. 
1951 "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed for the 
 U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's first 
 commercial computer. 
1952 The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear 
 powered submarine. 
1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order 
 adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance. 
1954 Americans took part in the first nation-wide civil 
 defense test against atomic attack. 
1965 A military triumvirate took control in Saigon. 
1967 Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space 
 probe's flight took it past Venus. 
1982 Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the 
 Falkland Islands. 
1989 Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary 
 knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II. 
1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that 
 are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication. 
1994 The New York Rangers won the Stanley Cup by defeating 
 the Vancouver Canucks. It was the first time the Rangers 
 had won the cup in 54 years. Many Hundreds of professional 
 demonstrators and rioters who had travelled to Vancouver
 to riot no matter who won the cup, were arrested and 
 jailed.
2015  smiled.


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Excel ready cells showing error or formula 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, June 13
It has been a long time since there was any donation 
towards the cost of the Humor Letter.
I don't think everybody lost interest. I doubt that 
you all are even more broke than I am. 
I asked a friend what the problem might be. She told
me that I didn not ask for help right out front.
So I did. She promptly dumped her coins into my hand.

Luckily here in Canada we have gotten rid of $1 and $2
bills and replaced them with $1 and $2 coins quite some
time ago, and nowadays an average wallet's load of coins 
is about seven dollars. I sure gave her a grateful hug!

If you can spare some coins, please send them to me!
Or use PayPal.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who abducted neighbor for being loud in their own laundry room. Details at Boneheads Today in 1789 Ice cream was served to General George Washington by Mrs. Alexander Hamilton. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. --- Chinese Proverb Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. --- John F. Kennedy ______________________________________________________ Several months after a young man is hired, he is called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asks. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years of experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well," the young man replies, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination, and since it was your accounting department who found out, and not my foreman, I would say that was good enough." ______________________________________________________ Two highway patrolmen stop a driver for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they are writing up the ticket, one trooper turns to the other and asks, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replies, "I don't know." "What are we going to do?" the first one asks. "If we spell it wrong, the judge will dismiss the charge." "Well," says his partner, "why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Waco?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Grein, Austria gets lots of rain now and then.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Leon Thurston, 61, Vero Beach, Floriduh
Florida man abducted neighbor for being loud in laundry room You're supposed to love thy neighbor, not kidnap them -- no matter how loud they are in the laundry room. Leon Thurston, 61, of Vero Beach, Florida, faces kidnapping charges after police say he abducted a neighbor at gunpoint early Sunday morning because he felt she was making too much noise while washing her clothes, according to WESH TV. Jessica and David Scoville were washing clothes in their laundry room at about 5:30 a.m. when Thurston, their next-door neighbor, appeared in the doorway and said they were being too loud. Thurston was carrying a handgun and a baton. He allegedly hit David Scoville with the baton twice before grabbing Jessica Scoville by the wrist and taking her from her home, according to WPBF TV. Police were called to the scene and used a K-9 unit to track Thurston and his alleged victim. Investigators were not able to find the pair, but Jessica Scoville later escaped after telling Thurston she needed to use a bathroom. She fled and flagged down police officers. The victim told police that Thurston took her to a nearby park and made her walk around a dirt track for a few hours while they spoke, WPTV reports. Officers arrested Thurston and found a .22-caliber Derringer in his front pants pocket. Police said Thurston copped to the crime. “He stated that he walked around with her and spoke to her to ‘blow off some steam,’" according a police report obtained by TCPalm.com. "He advised he was not going to hurt her,” but wouldn't let her leave because he wasn't done talking to her. Thurston also told officers, “He wished he hadn’t done what he did.” The suspect was charged with armed burglary, aggravated battery and assault, kidnapping, false imprisonment and carrying a concealed firearm. In addition, he is suspected of stealing a bathing suit left on a clothesline on Saturday, according to WPTV.com. He is currently in the Indian River County Jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ed Re: Excel ready cells showing error or formula Dear Webby When I set up a spreadsheet where I will enter numbers later, the formulas, that will calculate those numbers either show or have an ugly error until I enter the numbers used by those formulas. I have seen screen shots of your spreadsheets in the 90's, and they never have those ugly #Value! errors. How do you fix that? Ed Dear Ed I use a simple IF formula to test, if someting is in the input cell. Let's say cell E3 has to multiply whatever you are going to put into B3 with what is in H3 =IF(B3<>"",B3*H3,"") If we read that out loud, it would be IF B3 IS NOT nothing, then multiply what is in B3 with what is in H3, ELSE, if nothing is in B3, show nothing in E3 <> is the sign for IS NOT "" is the sign for NOTHING The way the IF formula works is IF (cell questioned, if answer is TRUE then do this, ELSE if answer is not true, then do that.) That <>"" trick is a handy part of many formulas to get clean and neat spreadsheets. They don't tell you that in college, because I guess the professor wants to see the formulas. In real life we prefer to just see the results, if there are any. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ====From Lorna Hi Webby, a few years ago you had a phantastic piece about a Hawaian Good Luck sign and a bumper sticker. Could you please run that one again ? Thanks, Lorna==== Sure, Lorna. It's a bit long, but well worth it. Got a letter from Grandma the other day--this is what it said: The other day I went into a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. Well, I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice and a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my car. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It's a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. Then I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, leaned out his window and hollered, "For the love of God! Go! Go! Jesus Christ! Go!" What an exuberant cheerleader for the Lord he was! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him say something about a "sunny beach." I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air, so I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing--even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple people were so caught up in the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask me what church I attended, but I noticed that the light had changed. So I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through before the light changed again and felt kind of sad to leave all those people behind after the love we'd shared, so I slowed down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. ______________________________________________________ "Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his anxious patient. "You only have six months to live." The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time." "Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shoe Brush to Paint Cinder Blocks Painting a cinder block breeze brick wall is a long laborious task; with aching back, arms and hands. Trying to get the paint worked into into the rough blocks, I kept thinking there has to be an easier way. There is! I used a shoe shine brush. It was so easy and quick. Lather on the paint with a regular paint brush, a roller is too messy. Paint about two foot square at a time. Use the shoe brush to work the paint into the wall, the short bristles go into the holes in the blocks, saving the effort of going over and over the wall with a paint brush to fill up the gaps. I hope this works as well for everyone else as it did for me. Source: my own By Mary H. [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A woman was in the habit of having long telephone conversations that sometimes lasted over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes. "What is the matter?" asked her husband. "You were on the phone talking for less than half an hour." "I got a wrong number," the woman replied. _____________________________________________________ Brenda's 6 year old was explaining to the other kids what "extinct" meant: "Well," she said in all seriousness, "it means that the dinosaurs are all dead and have been dead so long they don't stink anymore, that's why they call them exstinkt." ____________________________________________________
How awesome is this to find under the earth in your field and not know who built it, when it was built and what it was used for!

Today in 
Today in 
1415 Henry the Navigator, the prince of Portugal, embarked 
 on an expedition to Africa. 
1777 The Marquis de Lafayette arrived in the American colonies 
 to help with their rebellion against the British. 
1789 Ice cream was served to General George Washington 
 by Mrs. Alexander Hamilton. 
1825 Walter Hunt patented the safety pin. Hunt then then sold 
 the rights for $400. 
1898 The Canadian Yukon Territory was organized. 
1900 China's Boxer Rebellion against foreigners and Chinese 
 Christians erupted into violence. 
1912 Captain Albert Berry made the first successful parachute 
 jump from an airplane in Jefferson, Mississippi. 
1920 The U.S. Post Office Department ruled that children may 
 not be sent by parcel post. 
1923 The French set a trade barrier between the occupied Ruhr 
 and the rest of Germany. 
1940 Paris was evacuated before the German advance on the city. 
1943 German spies landed on Long Island, New York. They were 
 soon captured. 
1944 Germany launched 10 of its new V1 rockets against Britain 
 from a position near the Channel coast. Of the 10 rockets 
 only 5 landed in Britain and only one managed to kill 
 (6 people in London). 
1944 Marvin Camras patented the wire recorder. 
1949 Bao Dai entered Saigon to rule Vietnam. He had been 
 installed by the French. 
1951 U.N. troops seized Pyongyang, North Korea. 
1966 The landmark "Miranda v. Arizona" decision was issued 
 by the U.S. Supreme Court. The decision ruled that criminal 
 suspects had to be informed of their constitutional rights 
 before being questioned by police. 
1971 The New York Times began publishing the "Pentagon Papers". 
 The articles were a secret study of America's involvement 
 in Vietnam. 
1978 Israelis withdrew the last of their invading forces 
 from Lebanon. 
1979 Sioux Indians were awarded $105 million in compensation 
 for the U.S. seizure in 1877 of their Black Hills in 
 South Dakota. 
1983 The unmanned U.S. space probe Pioneer 10 became the 
 first spacecraft to leave the solar system. It was launched 
 in March 1972. The first up-close images of the planet Jupiter 
 were provided by Pioneer 10. 
1988 The Liggett Group, a cigarette manufacturer, was found 
 liable for a lung-cancer death. They were, however, found 
 innocent by the federal jury of misrepresenting the risks 
 of smoking. 
1994 A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Exxon Corp. and 
 Captain Joseph Hazelwood to be reckless in the Exxon Valdez 
 oil spill. 
1995 France announced that they would conduct eight more 
 nuclear tests in the South Pacific. 
2000 In Pyongyang, North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il welcomed 
 South Korea's President Kim Dae for a three-day summit. It 
 was the first such meeting between the leaders of North and 
 South Korea. 
2015  smiled.


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Is IE a security risk ? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, June 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman, who beaned her lover with a hamburger

Details at Boneheads

Today in
1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef 
 off of Australia when he ran aground. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The great god Ra whose shrine once covered acres Is filler now for crossword-puzzle makers. --- Keith Preston ______________________________________________________ Despite warnings from his Alpine guide, an American skier is separated from his group and falls into a deep crevasse. Several hours later, a rescue party finds the skier. The leader of the rescue team shouts down to him, "We're from the Red Cross!" "Sorry," the American yells back, "I already gave at the office." ______________________________________________________ An airport ticketing agent was working at the counter and began asking a passenger the required security questions. "Have you received any objects from an unknown person to carry aboard the airplane today?" "No," said the woman. "Did you pack your own suitcase?" she inquired, pointing to the traveler's rolling carry- on bag. "Yes," she answered. "Has your bag been under your control since you've been in the airport?" "Well, no, not exactly," the passenger said with a sigh. "The silly thing keeps either trying to go every which way, or else it's trying to trip me. I feel like I am under IT's control." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rykihia Moore, 27, Clearwater, Floriduh
Florida woman beaned her lover with a hamburger During an argument over her infidelity, a Florida woman threw a hamburger at her boyfriend, striking him in the eye and landing her in jail. According to cops, Rykihia Moore and Mario Thornton were bickering Saturday evening over Moore reportedly “being unfaithful.” In the midst of the verbal beef inside a Clearwater home, the 27-year-old Moore “took a hamburger” and threw it at Thornton, her beau of 12 months. The burger, a criminal complaint alleges, struck Thornton in the eye. When Moore was questioned by a sheriff’s deputy, she reportedly copped to winging the burger at Thornton, adding that “it may have hit him.” Well, it did. Pictured above, Moore, who works at a Ruby Tuesday restaurant, was arrested for simple battery dating violence, a misdemeanor. She spent a night in jail before being released Sunday afternoon on her own recognizance. The report did not indicate whether she or he had made the hard hamburger, or whether it had come from Ruby Tuesday.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandy Re: IE Security problem? Dear Webby I keep reading that IE is a security problem. If that is so, why doesn't microsoft fix it? Sandy Dear Sandy Have you ever seen a Hillbilly shack with extensions built onto it on all sides, and extensions to the extensions? That gives you an idea of the construction of IE. In addition to that, because the Microsoft controlled computer companies pre-install IE (except in Europe) it is the default browser for many people. So the hackers, who prefer inexperienced users, focus on IE and most of the hacks are built to penetrate IE. Those two facts combine to make IE a big security risk and not the preferred choice of experienced users. Plus, it is slower than Chrome or FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." and hand written underneath: "Sandals can eat any place they want." ______________________________________________________ We spend the first six years teaching our children to walk and talk, and the next fifteen years telling them to sit down and be quiet. _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Glue to Remove Splinters To get out the splinter, put a drop of glue where the splinter sticks out. Let the glue dry, then peel the glue. The splinter will stick to the glue and go with the glue, right to the garbage can. By Katie M. [4] A short strip of Duck tape will work even better. That works even on the invisible hair like spines of somce cacti. Just put the duck tape on and leave it on overnight. The tiny spines or splinters migrate out of the skin and stick to the tape. Hospital Tape works too. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bernie's mom admitted to being a less than fastidious housekeeper. One evening dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and said, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel." Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Well, darling, that's a pretty good start! I'm sure with some patient practising you could even learn to dust it!" _____________________________________________________ During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?" "No, sir," a student called out. "No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin won't dissolve." "Well, Professor Mc Scottish, if it would, you would have asked for MY coin for the experiment !" ____________________________________________________
What an imagination! Winged insects made from electronic parts.

Today in 
Today in 
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor 
 in Germany. 
1509 King Henry VIII married his first of six wives, 
 Catherine of Aragon. 
1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef 
 off of Australia when he ran aground. 
1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took the island of Malta. 
1895 Charles E. Duryea received the first U.S. patent 
 granted to an American inventor for a gasoline-driven 
 automobile. 
1912 Silas Christoferson became the first pilot to take 
 off from the roof of a hotel. 
1915 British troops took Cameroon in Africa. 
1927 Charles A. Lindberg was presented the first 
 Distinguished Flying Cross. 
1930 William Beebe dove to a record-setting depth of 1,426 
 feet off the coast of Bermuda. He used a diving chamber 
 called a bathysphere. 
1934 The Disarmament Conference in Geneva ended in failure. 
1937 Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a purge of 
 Red Army generals. 
1940 The Italian Air Force bombed the British fortress at 
 Malta in the Mediterranean. 
1942 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a lend lease 
 agreement to aid the Soviets in their effort in WWWII. 
1943 During World War II, the Italian island of 
 Pantelleria surrendered after a heavy air bombardment. 
1947 The U.S. government announced an end to sugar 
 rationing. 
1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was arrested in Florida 
 for trying to integrate restaurants. 
1963 Alabama Gov. George Wallace allowed two black 
 students to enroll at the University of Alabama. 
1967 Israel and Syria accepted a U.N. cease-fire. 
1973 After a ruling by the Justice Department of the 
 State of Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or 
 wrestle. 
1977 In the Netherlands, a 19-day hostage situation came 
 to an end when Dutch marines stormed a train and a 
 school being held by South Moluccan extremists. Two 
 hostages and the six terrorists were killed. 
1990 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a law that would 
 prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. 
1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The eruption 
 of ash and gas could be seen for more than 60 miles. 
1993 Steven Spielberg's movie "Jurassic Park" opened. 
1998 Mitsubishi of America agreed to pay $34 million to 
 end the largest sexual harassment case filed by the U.S. 
 government. The federal lawsuit claimed that hundreds of 
 women at a plant in Normal, IL, had endured groping and 
 crude jokes from male workers. 
1998 Pakistan announced moratorium on nuclear testing and 
 offered to talk with India over disputed Kashmir. 
2010 The FIFA World Cup opened in South Africa. It was the 
 first time it was held in Africa. 
2015  smiled.


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Do you need IE for Malwarebytes? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, June 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
German teenager who made a wrong turn expecting
tank to stop. It stopped on her car's hood.
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1979 Bryan Allen flew the Gossamer Albatross, man powered, 
 across the English Channel. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
What others think of us would be of little moment did it not, when known, so deeply tinge what we think of ourselves. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. --- Robert Frost It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought. --- John Kenneth Galbraith ______________________________________________________ After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them." Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled. Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged. The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again." The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. "I'll need more power for this!" she exclaimed. ______________________________________________________ Resume Blunders "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable." "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet." "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." "I am a rabid typist." "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side." "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far." "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one." "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers." "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant." "I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail." "Qualifications: No education or experience." "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!" Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!" ______________________________________________________ Thetiger Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by German girl 18, Lippe, near Berlin, Germany
She fought a tank, and the tank won German teenager who made a wrong turn expecting a tank to stop. It stopped on her car's hood. A teenage driver took a wrong turn and got run over by a British tank which crushed the front of her car in Berlin, Germany on Monday. The 18-year-old German, who luckily survived the incident, found herself in the path of a convoy of English tanks that were driving along the aptly-named Panzerringstrasse, or "Tank Ring Street," local police in Lippe said in a statement. They always drive the same route for practise. The 24-year-old British driver of the tank did not manage to stop his vehicle and ended up running over the Toyota and flattening the hood. The teenager was able to get out of the vehicle without any injuries -- except to the wallet of whoever paid for the car. The total damage is expected to cost around 12,000 Euros ($13,359). Since the colliasion was her fault, the British Army won't pay for the damage. The tank did not sustain any serious damage and not much fell off.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jorge Re: Malwarebytes asking for IE6 Dear Webby Dear Webby Good morning!! Guten morgan! Buenos díos! Hope all is going well with you and yours... Every day for the last couple of weeks Windows is telling me that there are new updates available. When I download what they've got, it's the same thing. Looks like Windows can find some malware and destroy it, but it's got a copy hidden somewhere... Time to bring in heavier artillery... So I was checking out your MalwareBytes offer. All looks O.K. except this... Software Requirements: Windows Vista/Windows7/Windows 8/Windows 8.1 (32 bit or 64 bit) Windows XP (Service Pack 2 or later, 32-bit only) Internet Explorer 6 or newer Hm-m... I've got Explorer 8 or so I believe, but I never use it (don't trust it!). What I use is the latest version of FireFox. Is that/would that be a problem/an issue? Kindest personal regards, Jorge Dear Jorge It's not YOUR computer calling for that, it's Microsoft PUSHING that, whether you need or want it or not. Like that X10 icon they push onto some people. It's not you needing it. Re Malwarebytes: Like XT, IE6 is the very lowest scraping of the barrel. Of course you can use a better browser! It works just fine on my Chrome, always has, and probably works just as well on FF. Just if you use IE, don't use a version below IE6. Not a big deal. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was reading from a Hans Christian Anderson book. "Miss Figpot?" Little Johnny asked, "is m-i-r-a-g-e pronounced marriage?" "No Johnny," sighed the teacher. "But it should be." ______________________________________________________ Two women are discussing marriage, and one says, "We've been married 10 years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food." "That's awful," the other woman says. "That must really bother you." "No, not in the slightest," says the first one. "You must be a saint," her friend says. "Why should I object?" the first one says. "A lot of people don't like their own cooking." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Sneakers Snug I can't believe that I never knew this until the salesperson at my shoestore told me when buying sneakers! I did always wonder why some sneakers had very long laces. Those top holes on many pairs of sneakers are to make a 'lace lock' hoop with the laces. You need to make a loop at the top two holes, criss cross the laces then thread them into the loop and pull downward to tighten. Really holds the sneakers on so they don't shift around while walking/running, or for little kids so they don't lose their sneakers in the grocery store! :D Source: My local sneaker store By Donna [245] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Kate My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, "Just wait." _____________________________________________________ One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over to the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties. He's the one without horns." ____________________________________________________
Pets can be so funny!

Today in 
1099 Crusade leaders visited the Mount of Olives where they 
 met a hermit who urged them to assault Jerusalem. 
1442 Alfonso V of Aragon was crowned King of Naples. 
1665 England installed a municipal government in New York. 
 It was the former Dutch settlement of New Amsterdam. 
1812 Napoleon's invasion of Russia began. 
1897 Carl Elsener patented his penknife. The object later 
 became known as the Swiss army knife. 
1898 Philippine nationalists declared their independence 
 from Spain. 
1900 The Reichstag approved a second law that would allow 
 the expansion of the German navy. 
1901 Cuba agreed to become an American protectorate by 
 accepting the Platt Amendment. 
1918 The first airplane bombing raid by an American unit 
 occurred on World War I's Western Front in France. 
1923 Harry Houdini, while suspended upside down 40 feet 
 above the ground, escaped from a strait jacket. 
1926 Brazil quit the League of Nations in protest over 
 plans to admit Germany. 
1937 The Soviet Union executed eight army leaders under 
 Joseph Stalin. 
1944 Chinese Communist leader Mao Tse-tung announced that 
 he would support Nationalist leader Chiang Kai-shek in 
 the war against Japan. 
1963 "Cleopatra" starring Elizabeth Taylor, Rex Harrison, 
 and Richard Burton premiered at the Rivoli Theatre in 
 New York City. 
1967 State laws which prohibited interracial marriages 
 were ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 
1975 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was found guilty 
 of corrupt election practices in 1971. 
1979 Bryan Allen flew the Gossamer Albatross, man powered, 
 across the English Channel. 
1985 Wayne "The Great One" Gretsky was named winner of the 
 NHL's Hart Trophy. The award is given to the the league 
 Most Valuable Player. 
1986 South Africa declared a national state of emergency. 
 Virtually unlimited power was given to security forces 
 and restrictions were put on news coverage of the unrest. 
1987 U.S. President Reagan publicly challenged Mikhail 
 Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. 
1992 In a letter to the U.S. Senate, Russian Boris Yeltsin 
 stated that in the early 1950's the Soviet Union had shot 
 down nine U.S. planes and held 12 American survivors. 
1996 In Philadelphia a panel of federal judges blocked a 
 law against indecency on the internet. The panel said that 
 the 1996 Communications Decency Act would infringe upon 
 the free speech rights of adults. 
1998 Compaq Computer paid $9 billion for Digital Equipment 
 Corp. in largest high-tech acquisition. 
2009 In the U.S., The switch from analog TV trasmission to 
 digital was completed.
2015  smiled.


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Is a 4 TB drive a good idea? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, June 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Baton Rouge pastor arrested for
raping 11-year-old girl
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on the 
 U.S. The dispute was over merchant vessels being able to 
 travel safely through the Mediterranean. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885) Times have not become more violent. They have just become more televised. --- Marilyn Manson (1969 - ) ______________________________________________________ Bill's wife's psychiatrist just called him and said, "Did you know she was going to poison you?" Bill said, "No! What you suggest?" He said, "After listeneing to her for three hours, my suggestion to you is to either take the poison, or else move to Argentina, without her." ______________________________________________________ >From Mary Returning from a trip to visit her grandmother in Canada, a woman was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, she gave him a small bag of her grandmother's delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on her way. A short time later, she was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate- chip cookies." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darrell Ranel, 56, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Baton Rouge pastor arrested for raping 11-year-old girl A 56-year-old Baton Rouge man was arrested Friday, accused of raping an 11-year-old girl. Darrell Ranel, a resident of the 2100 block of Cunard Avenue in Baton Rouge, was arrested by Baton Rouge police after a girl, now 12, told an employee at a hospital in New Orleans that she had been sexually assaulted, according to an affidavit of probable cause. Ranel had been in a relationship with the girl's mother, and the girl told police that "Mr. Darrell" had raped her twice when she was 11, police said. Ranel is listed as director of The Black Creek African Methodist Episcopal Church of Darlington, which is near the Mississippi border, according to The Advocate.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Olaf Re: 4 TB hard drive for $179 a good idea? Dear Webby Dear Webby Is that price at NewEgg too good to be true? And if it is truye, is that a good deal? Olaf Dear Olaf The price is true indeed. However, it is not a good deal except for back-up purposes for pictures and music. You complained a year ago about the virus scan slowing you down for hours. That was with a 1/2 TB drive. Imagine how long a scan of a 4 TB drive would slow you down! Sure, you can partition the 4 TB drive into 8 virtual drives of 1/2 TB each, but if that 8 TB drive malfunctions, all those partitions are lost. For speed and reliability it would be better to have a few cheap 1/2 TB drives in USB removable drive cases, and just use whichever one you need, and have the other ones turned off and in the safe. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old daughter was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was a hundred and eighty." Her daughter looked puzzled and asked, "How old are you now?" ______________________________________________________ Three weeks after her wedding day, Maureen called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Maureen, "but what am I going to do with the BODY?" _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chocolate is Good for You For a long time, I have heard and read that eating a little chocolate every day is good for you. I have chocolate chips left over from Christmas, that were going to waste if not used, so for the past couple of weeks I have been eating some of them daily. So far I have not gained weight. I have actually lost a couple of pounds, which I am trying to do. Chocolate covered nuts are my favorite candy. Chewing up a nut and a few chips at the same time taste just like eating a chocolate covered nut. Benefits of chocolate, in the AOL news today. Immediate mental stimulant. It widens blood vessels and can help reduce blood pressure. It can lower body fat. Healthy bacteria in your stomach thrives on chemical makeup of chocolate, which while breaking down releases compounds that lesson cardiovascular tissue inflammation, reducing the risk of strokes. It can improve your memory. I need all of this so I just may be stocking up on chocolate chips to keep on hand all the time. One tablespoon, a serving size of Nestle Chocolate Chips, contains 70 calories. By Litter Gitter [122] Keep in mind that she talks about REAL chocolate, like Baker's Semi Sweet, not candy bars or "chocolates" in gift packages, that are 90% sugar with a thin coating of fake chocolate. A teaspoon of chips with a yoghurt is apparently quite healthy. Something I should try to do again. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two guys were doing construction on a house. The guy who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, and then either toss it over his shoulder or nail it into the siding. The other guy saw him tossing all the nails over his shoulder and asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" The first guy said, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed towards me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house, then I nail it into the siding." The second guy was outraged. He yelled, "You idiot! The nails pointed towards you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" _____________________________________________________ Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy, "I promise I'll use 'em every day." "I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment on your part," the father pointed out. "Please, Dad?" the boy continued. "They're not cheap either," the father came back. "I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see." Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door. From the corner of the store he heard his son yelp, "Wait! You mean I have to carry them to the car?" ____________________________________________________
Here are 40 outstanding highlights from the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s released collection of 400,000 high-resolution digital images.

Today in 
1793 The Jardin des Plantes zoo opened in Paris. 
 It was the first public zoo. 
1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on the 
 U.S. The dispute was over merchant vessels being able to 
 travel safely through the Mediterranean. 
1898 U.S. Marines landed in Cuba during the 
 Spanish-American War. 
1902 The "outlook" or "see-through" envelope was patented 
 by Americus F. Callahan. 
1903 Binney & Smith Company began developing Crayola. 
1909 The SOS distress signal was used for the first time. 
 The Cunard liner SS Slavonia used the signal when it 
 wrecked off the Azores. 
1916 Mecca, under control of the Turks, fell to the Arabs 
 during the Great Arab Revolt. 
1920 The Republican convention in Chicago endorsed 
 woman suffrage. 
1925 The state of Tennessee adopted a new biology text book 
 that denied the theory of evolution. 
1933 Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were in a car accident 
 on a rural road in north Texas. The third-degree burns 
 suffered by Parker resulted in a pronounced limp for the 
 rest of her life. 
1935 Alcoholic Anonymous was founded by William G. Wilson 
 and Dr. Robert Smith. 
1940 Italy declared war on France and Britain. In addition, 
 Canada declared war on Italy. 
1943 Laszlo Biro patented his ballpoint pen. Biro was a 
 Hungarian journalist. 
1943 The Allies began bombing Germany around the clock. 
1946 Italy established a republic replacing its monarchy. 
1948 Chuck Yeager exceeded the speed of sound in the Bell XS-1. 
1954 General Motors announced the gas turbine bus had been 
 produced successfully. 
1967 Israel and Syria agreed to a cease-fire that ended 
 the Six-Day War. 
1971 The U.S. ended a 21-year trade embargo of China. 
1984 The U.S. Army successfully tested an antiballistic 
 missile. 
1984 The United States and the Vatican established full 
 diplomatic relations for the first time in 117 years. 
1985 Frank Sinatra was portrayed as a friend of organized 
 crime in a "Doonesbury" comic strip. Over 800 newspapers 
 carried the panel. 
1985 The Israeli army pulled out of Lebanon after 1,099 
 days of occupation. 
1993 It was announced by scientists that genetic material 
 was extracted from an insect that lived when dinosaurs 
 roamed the Earth. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton intensified sanctions against 
 Haiti's military leaders. U.S. commercial air travel was 
 suspended along with most financial transactions between 
 Haiti and the U.S. 
1996 Britain and Ireland opened Northern Ireland peace talks. 
 The IRA's political arm Sinn Fein was excluded. 
1998 The Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled that poor children 
 in Milwaukee could attend religious schools at taxpayer 
 expense. 
1999 NATO suspended air strikes in Yugoslavia after Slobodan 
 Milosevic agreed to withdraw his forces from Kosovo.
2015  smiled.


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Letter from Microsoft 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, June 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Baton Rouge daycare workers arrested because 
Toddler they left in hot vehicle died;
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1534 Jacques Cartier became the first to sail into the river 
 he named Saint Lawrence. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat And Overcoat." Ira sure did. He kept turning every minute, almost choking over his food. His pal, Abraham, kept on eating, without thought of his own coat on the hook. Finally Abraham said, "Ira, you Schmuck...stop watching our overcoats." "I'm only watching mine," replied Ira. "Yours has been gone for over half an hour." ______________________________________________________ Bob was riding a Harley on the highway and is pulled up by a police officer, also on a bike. The officer says, "Pull over", and the driver pulls over to the side of the road. Bob says, "I'm sorry, officer, was I speeding?". The police officer says, "No, mate, but your wife fell off a couple of miles back". Bob replies, "Oh, that explains it. I thought I was going deaf." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shelia Newman, 47, April Wright, 26, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Toddler left in hot vehicle died; Baton Rouge daycare workers arrested Two Baton Rouge daycare workers were arrested on suspicion of negligent homicide Friday after a 22-month-old girl was left in a hot vehicle for about two hours and died, Baton Rouge Police said. The child was identified as Angel Green, of the 6500 block of Hanks Drive. The two women who were arrested were 47-year-old Shelia Newman, of the 6300 block of Prescott Road, and 26-year- old April Wright, of the 2500 block of Badley Road. Newman owns the unlicensed daycare at 6345 Prescott Road, and Wright is an employee, police said. According to affidavits of probable cause, Wright and Newman used a daycare van to take 16 children, including Angel, to get lunch at Jehovah Ministry in Baton Rouge. When they got back, the women thought they had all of the children out of the vehicle but never checked it, police said. Then, Newman went to pick up two more children, and took them out of the van, apparently missing Angel a second time. When the children woke up from their naps, Wright realized Angel was missing, and found her unresponsive in the vehicle. Police said Angel may have been in the car for about two hours, and while the coroner's office will determine the cause of death, it's likely she overheated. Staff at the hospital where Angel was taken told police her body temperature was 108 degrees. Newman also told Wright to lie to police about where Angel was found, police said. According to the affidavit, Newman told her to say Angel was found in the backyard, and to pour water on the back steps to make it look like she had cleaned up vomit. Newman was booked on suspicion of obstruction of justice as well as negligent homicide, police said. Newman had recently had her daycare license revoked for having too few attendants for the number of children at the daycare, according to the affidavit.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Penny Re: Letter from Microsoft Dear Webby Just looked in my e-mail to find a message fro Microsoft, "Updates to our terms of use and privacy statement." I haven't opened it yet. Anymore you never REALLY know if it's legit or not. What's your opinion??? Hope you're enjoying your summer so far. Mon. June 1st I flew home from Washington D.C. and it was 96 at 1:30 p.m ! Sure was glad to get away from that. Only to arrive home in Ohio to a cloudy 55. It was just a 46 minute flight so it was quite a shock to the system. lol Thanks Penny Dear Penny I have not received a letter like that, or if I did, then MailWasher recognized it as a scam and murdered it in the dark, unseen by any human. As far as Microsoft is concerned, you have no rights and no recourse anyway. What is the point reading about it? There is nothing you can do if you disagree with the edict from the throne. Here it was nice and hot today. 22 degrees in the shade on the North side of the house, 32 degrees on the West side in the sun. OOOPS, forgot you aren't independent of the British Imperial Empire yet. Those numbers are in post-Napoleonic metric. In your quaint British Imperial units, that would be 72 degrees on the North side, 90 degrees on the West side. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed George by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." The Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and your Anniversary?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service." ______________________________________________________ A lady dropped her handbag in the bustle of weekend shopping. An honest, little boy noticed her drop the handbag, so he picked it up and returned it to her. The lady looked into her handbag and commented, "Hmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a purse, the owner didn't have any change for a reward." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Broom to Clean Popcorn Ceiling I dust my popcorn ceiling by using a broom. Yes, it does cause some particles to fall but not if you dust/broom it lightly. By herrington_mary [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The teacher advised the class to start the day with the Pledge of Allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When his eyes fell on Little Johnny, he noticed his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. "Little Johnny, I will not continue till you put your hand over your heart." Little Johnny replied, "It is over my heart." After several attempts to get Little Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?" "Because, every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie." _____________________________________________________ Bobby was stark naked in front of his open window, doing his morning aerobics. His wife entered the room and shouted, "Bobby, you fool, draw those curtains! I don't want the neighbors to think that I married you for your money!" ____________________________________________________
Interesting wildlife photos from around the world.

Today in 
1064 Coimbra, Portugal fell to Ferdinand, the King of Castile.
1534 Jacques Cartier became the first to sail into the river 
 he named Saint Lawrence. 
1790 John Barry copyrighted "Philadelphia Spelling Book." It 
 was the first American book to be copyrighted. 
1790 Civil war broke out in Martinique. 
1860 The Ms. Ann Stevens book "Malaeska, the Indian Wife of 
 the White Hunter" was offered for sale for a dime. It was 
 the first published "dime novel." 
1923 Bulgaria's government was overthrown by the military. 
1931 Robert H. Goddard patented a rocket-fueled aircraft 
 design. 
1934 Donald Duck made his debut in the Silly Symphonies cartoon 
 "The Wise Little Hen." 
1940 Norway surrendered to the Nazis during World War II. 
1943 The withholding tax on payrolls was authorized by the 
 U.S. Congress. 
1945 Japanese Premier Kantaro Suzuki declared that Japan 
 would fight to the last rather than accept unconditional 
 surrender. 
1959 The first ballistic missile carrying submarine, the 
 USS George Washington, was launched. 
1978 Leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day 
 Saints struck down a 148-year-old policy of excluding black 
 men from the Mormon priesthood. 
1980 Richard Pryor was severely burned by a "free-base" 
 mixture that exploded. He was hospitalized more than two 
 months. 
1985 Thomas Sutherland, an American educator, was kidnapped 
 in Lebanon. He was not released until November 1991. 
1986 The Rogers Commission released a report on the Challenger 
 disaster. The report explained that the spacecraft blew up 
 as a result of a failure in a solid rocket booster joint, 
 mainly because they wanted to change booster suppliers. 
1999 NATO and Yugoslavia signed a peace agreement over Kosovo. 
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to repeal gift and 
 estate taxes. The bill called for the taxes to be phased out 
 over 10 years. 
2011 The world's first artificial organ transplant was performed. 
 It was an artificial windpipe coated with stem cells. 
2015  smiled.


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Wait for W10.1 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, June 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Ex-girlfriend's mom hired hit-man to 
have man killed and fed to alligators 
Details at Boneheads

Today in
0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
All science is either physics or stamp collecting. --- Ernest Rutherford (1871 - 1937) "Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example." --- Duc de La Rochefoucald No one appreciates the value of constructive criticism more thoroughly than the one who's giving it. --- Hal Chadwick "There are well-dressed foolish ideas just as there are well- dressed fools." --- Nicolas Chamfort ______________________________________________________ Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers." ______________________________________________________ Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house. Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No," replied Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some just as good, and she gave me two more pieces without me having to ask." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for send ing this thicture: Click through for the big picture From Mikels patio. Hillsboro Beach,FL -- Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Melisa Rae Schonfield, 57, Brownville, New York
Ex-girlfriend's mom hired hit-man to have him killed and fed to alligators A man whose ex-girlfriend's mom is accused of hiring a hit man to kill him and feed his body to alligators said he can't understand why he was targeted. "It's just f--ked up," Ernesto Negrillo, 36, of Florida, told The Huffington Post in an exclusive interview Monday. "I don't know why she would want to kill me. I haven't spoken to her in a long time." Melisa Rae Schonfield, a 57-year-old social worker from Brownville, New York, was arrested Friday and charged with second-degree conspiracy and second-degree criminal solicitation after police said she made a down payment to an undercover investigator she thought was a hired killer. Schonfield is the mother of Negrillo's ex-girlfriend, Alexis Schonfield, with whom Negrillo has a child. Negrillo said his relationship with Alexis Schonfield ended in November 2012, when their son was 4 months old. He said he remained in Florida and Alexis Schonfield went with their son to live with her parents in New York. Negrillo said he's had no recent issues with anyone in the family. "I wasn’t fighting" for custody, he said. "It was already settled." As for the murder plot, he said, "I have no idea why. I can't believe she went this far." Alexis Schonfield, 31, told HuffPost she was stunned by her mom's arrest. "The only thing I can say, because I am a mother, is she was trying to protect my son and she got tired of watching me cry," Schonfield said. "I've been an emotional basket case the past two years." She said she learned of her mother's arrest on Facebook. "I had no idea what was going on," Schonfield said. "I thought she was going to go visit her friends in Rochester over the weekend. When I found out, I was in shock." Schonfield said her "on and off again"relationship with Negrillo was volatile. "I think emotional and verbal domestic abuse is a big joke to people ... [but] it's just as bad as physical violence," she said. "It's just that the scars are not visible." Negrillo denied the relationship was abusive. "I think all they wanted was a grandson," Negrillo said of the Schonfields. "They got one from me and then they left." A tipster alerted authorities last week that Melisa Schonfield was looking for a hit man, according to the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department. "We got a tip from a concerned citizen," Detective Dave Pustizzi told HuffPost. Pustizzi said an undercover detective posing as a hit man met with Melisa Schonfield Friday morning. Court documents say the meeting occurred at a Walmart parking lot in Watertown. During the meeting, Schonfield agreed to pay the undercover detective $11,000 for the killing, according to police. She suggested the best way to dispose of the body would be to "throw it to the alligators," police said. She told the supposed contract killer that her husband, a Watertown dentist, was aware of what she was doing and "even made a smart remark about her getting caught," according to the court documents. Melisa Schonfield was taken into custody after giving the undercover officer a $5,500 down payment, police said. She was arraigned in Watertown City Court and was jailed for the weekend. She was freed from Jefferson County Jail Monday afternoon after someone posted $500,000 bond, according to Fox station WNYF. Authorities haven't revealed a motive. Contacted by HuffPost Monday, Robert Schonfield said in an email that he had "no comment" on the circumstances surrounding the arrest of his wife. Neither he nor Alexis Schonfield have been implicated in the alleged murder plot. Negrillo said he's grateful to police. "God really looked out for me," he said. "He really did." As for Melisa Schonfield, Negrillo said he feels sorry for her. "It didn't have to go this way -- she didn't have to do what she did," he said. "She ruined her reputation and now there's no grandma in the picture for my son. I feel bad."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leann Re: W10 now? I just wondered what you think about Windows 10. I have 2 computers with Windows 7 and one with Windows 8.1. I'm not sure I want to change any of them. Your thoughts please. Thanks Webby, Leann Dear Leann WHY change? There is absolutely no reason to hurry with changing. Wait a year for 10.1, and let them fix the worst of the bugs. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?" Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?" Son: "Who threw the tomato at the teacher?" ______________________________________________________ A redneck boy came home from class and his redneck father asked, "What did you learn in algebra class today, son?" "Well, I learned Pi R Square," replied the boy. "Now, hold on there son," he quickly replied, "you may think I am stupid, but everybody knows that pie are round." _________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lazy Cake It was super late, when the kiddos and I had a sweet tooth. I was tired and feeling lazy, thus the name. I wanted something super easy and quick, but we were out of everything. I had a cake mix, chocolate chips and pumpkin. Not even any eggs! I have to say this turned out even better than if I had made it the usual way. You actually don't really taste the pumpkin, but it made the cake extremely moist without any oil. We poured some milk over the top and voila! Our lazy cake was awesome. Hope you try it. I think you'll like it.:) Approximate Time: A few minutes prep Yield: 13" by 9" pan Ingredients: 1 box (16.5 oz) devil's food cake mix 1 bag (12 oz) semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 can (15 oz) pumpkin puree 1 cup water Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Add your cake mix, pumpkin and water to a large bowl. Mix well. Fold in your chocolate chips. Spread into a greased 13" by 9" baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 30 minutes. Pour milk over a piece and enjoy! Source: Self By melissa [143] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two men were talking. "My son asked me what I did during the Sexual Revolution," said one. "I told him I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes. _____________________________________________________ >From Clarence The other day I needed to call home from downtown, but the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side to politely wait until it was free, thinking it would only be a couple of minutes. Five minutes went by, and still the man was on the phone. He was just standing there, not saying a word. Two minutes later, he was still not talking. Finally, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could use the phone. I really wouldn't be long, but needed to make an important call. "Hold your horses," he responded, covering the receiver. "I'm talking to my wife." ____________________________________________________
All I can say is......WOW!

Today in 
0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun. 
0793 The Vikings raided the Northumbrian coast of England. 
1786 In New York City, commercially manufactured ice cream 
 was advertised for the first time. 
1790 The first loan for the U.S. was repaid. The Temporary 
 Loan of 1789 was negotiated and secured on September 18, 
 1789 by Alexander Hamilton. 
1866 Prussia annexed the region of Holstein. 
1869 Ives W. McGaffey received a U.S. patent for the 
 suction vacuum cleaner. 
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangiers, Morocco, to protect 
 U.S. citizens. 
1915 U.S. Secretary of State William Jennings Bryan resigned 
 in a disagreement over U.S. handling of the sinking of the 
 Lusitania. 
1953 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed segregated restaurants 
 in Washington, DC. 
1965 U.S. troops in South Vietnam were given orders to begin 
 fighting offensively. 
1967 Israeli airplanes attacked the USS Liberty in the 
 Mediterranean during the 6-Day War between Israel and its 
 Arab neighbors. 34 U.S. Navy crewmen were killed. Israel 
 later called the incident a tragic mistake due to the 
 mis-identification of the ship. The U.S. has never publicly 
 investigated the incident. 
1969 U.S. President Richard Nixon met with President Thieu 
 of South Vietnam to tell him 25,000 U.S. troops would pull 
 out by August. 
1978 A jury in Clark County, Nevada, ruled that the 
 "Mormon will" was a forgery. The work was supposedly written 
 by Howard Hughes. 
1987 Fawn Hill began testifying in the Iran-Contra hearings. 
 She said that she had helped to shred some documents. 
1991 A victory parade was held in Washington, DC, to honor 
 veterans of the Persian Gulf War. 
1996 China set off an underground nuclear test blast. 
1998 Honda agreed to pay $17.1 million for disconnecting 
 anti-pollution devices in 1.6 million cars. 
1998 The space shuttle Discovery pulled away from Mir, ending 
 America's three-year partnership with Russia. 
2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones began the first known continuous hike 
 of the 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They completed 
 the trek at the U.S.-Mexico border on September 28.
2015  smiled.


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Why W10 now? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, June 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
3 Teenage MS-13 Gang Members Charged 
With 'Brutally' Raping 16-Year-Old 
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1494 Spain and Portugal divided the new lands they had 
 discovered between themselves. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We are none of us infallible--not even the youngest of us. --- W. H. Thompson History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte History is the version of past events that the winners have decided to agree upon. --- Dwight D Eisenhower ______________________________________________________ A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets, so she stuffed them both in her bra. Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was looking at her. "What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues. She replied, "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived". ______________________________________________________ With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet." A little later they ask again to see the baby. Again the mother says "not yet." Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother says, "When the baby cries." They all ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?" The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bryan Larios (left), Joel Escobar and Jose Cornejo Bryan Larios, 18, Joel Escobar, 17, Jose Cornejo, 17, Brentwood, NY
3 Teenage MS-13 Gang Members Charged With 'Brutally' Raping 16-Year-Old Girl In New York Three teenage reputed members of the MS-13 street gang were ordered held without bail Friday on charges they forced a 16-year-old into a wooded area of a Long Island golf course, where two of them took turns raping her while the third stood as a lookout. "This is one of the most brutal, heinous crimes that I have seen in a long, long time," Suffolk County District Attorney Thomas Spota said at a news conference following the suspects' arraignments. "This poor young woman is so lucky that, quite frankly, that she is alive. These are vicious young men, vicious young men and what they did to her was absolutely terrible." The suspects were identified as 17-year-old Jose Cornejo, 18-year-old Bryan Larios and 17-year-old Joel Escobar, all of Brentwood. All three are from El Salvador and are members of the MS-13 street gang, Spota said. Their attorneys entered not guilty pleas to a grand jury indictment charging them with rape, assault, sexual abuse, robbery and other crimes. An attorney for Larios denied his client was involved. Cornejo's attorney said he is just beginning to investigate the charges and Escobar's attorney had no comment. Prosecutors said the three were arrested on May 29, hours after the attack occurred. The three are accused of approaching the girl and a male friend at a Brentwood middle school at about 6 p.m. They allegedly robbed and beat the friend, who then fled the scene. The trio then allegedly told the girl they had a weapon and forced her to walk about a half-mile to a secluded area of the Brentwood Country Club golf course. It was there, prosecutors said, that Cornejo and Escobar raped the girl while Larios acted as a lookout. She was later found walking out of the woods nearly naked by golfers, who called police. Attorneys for the suspects said their clients were high school students, but Assistant District Attorney Lawrence Opisso disputed that, saying he did not believe any of the three attended school. Spota said police identified Cornejo as one of the suspects because the victim gave investigators a detailed description of a tattoo he has on his chin. The prosecutor described the tattoo as skull adorned with flames. Escobar and a fourth man — also a suspected MS-13 gang member — were charged with robbing and beating a man on April 28 at the same middle school. Escobar was also charged with threatening the victim with violence if he reported the incident to police. His attorney also pleaded not guilty on his behalf to those charges. So far they have not been granted bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leann Re: W10 now? I just wondered what you think about Windows 10. I have 2 computers with Windows 7 and one with Windows 8.1. I'm not sure I want to change any of them. Your thoughts please. Thanks Webby, Leann Dear Leann WHY change? There is absolutely no reason to hurry with changing. Wait a year for 10.1, and let them fix the worst of the bugs. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Father McCarr, is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a parishioner asked his minister. "Definitely not," was the answer. "Are you absolutely certain?" "Yes, Angus McInnis, absolutely." "Ok. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?" ______________________________________________________ LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION "Places I'd Rather Not Live In..." Paradox, New York Crapo, Maryland Boogertown, North Carolina Spasticville, Kansas Hellhole, Idaho Purgatory, Maine What would Freud say about... Climax, Michigan Spread Eagle, Wisconsin Needmore, Arkansas (Clinton's Home Town?) Hardup, Utah Big Bogue Homo, Mississippi Intercourse, Pennsylvania Hornytown, North Carolina Conception Junction, Missouri It doesn't surprise me that there is a... Rudeville, New Jersey Boring, Oregon Hell, Michigan Hooker, California Virgin, Utah Dulls Corner, Maryland Bowlegs, Oklahoma Volcano, Hawaii Beersville, Pennsylvania Fleatown, Ohio Burnt Corn, Alabama Two Guns, Arizona Toad Suck, Arkansas _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Oops Paint is the Best I buy the "Oops" paint at Lowes to use when I redo various pieces of furniture. I bought an old baby changing table for $5.00. I mixed a couple of the small paint containers and got a lovely light lilac. I painted the table, added a tension rod and a curtain then put it in my bathroom. I have made great colors from the paint and I have also painted chairs and outdoor furniture. By Cynthia [8] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ George had invited the pastor and his wife for dinner, and it was little Joey's job to set the table. But when it came time to eat, Joey's mother said with surprise, "Why didn't you give Mrs. Brown a knife and fork dear?". "I didn't think I needed to," Joey explained, "I heard Daddy say she always eats like a horse." _____________________________________________________ An acquaintance of mine who is a veterinarian told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to pick her up from kindergarten, she had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Oh, wow, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. Do you want fwies with that?" ____________________________________________________
Vintage Movie Theatre Etiquette Posters

Today in 
1494 Spain and Portugal divided the new lands they had 
 discovered between themselves. 
1498 Christopher Columbus left on his third voyage. 
1654 Louis XIV was crowned king of France. 
1712 The Pennsylvania Assembly banned importation of slaves. 
1775 The United Colonies changed name to the United States. 
1863 Mexico City was captured by French troops. 
1892 J.F. Palmer patented the cord bicycle tire. 
1900 Boxer rebels cut the rail links between Peking and 
 Tientsin in China. 
1903 Professor Pierre Curie revealed discovery of Polonium. 
1929 The sovereign state of Vatican City came into existence 
 as copies of the Lateran Treaty were exchanged in Rome. 
1932 Over 7,000 war veterans marched on Washington, DC, 
 demanding their bonuses. 
1939 King George VI and his wife, Queen Elizabeth, arrived 
 in the U.S. It was the first visit to the U.S. by a reigning 
 British monarch. 
1942 The Battle of Midway ended. The sea and air battle lasted 
 4 days. Japan lost four carriers, a cruiser, and 292 aircraft, 
 and suffered 2,500 casualties. The U.S. lost the Yorktown, 
 the destroyer USS Hammann, 145 aircraft, and suffered 307 
 casualties. 
1942 Japan landed troops on the islands of Attu and Kiska 
 in the Aleutians. The U.S. invaded and recaptured the 
 Alutians one year later. 
1944 Off of the coast of Normandy, France, the Susan B. Anthony 
 sank. All 2,689 people aboard survived. 
1948 The Communists completed their takeover of Czechoslovakia. 
1966 Sony Corporation unveiled its brand new consumer home 
 videotape recorder. The black and white only unit sold 
 for $995. 
1965 In the U.S., the Gemini 4 mission was completed. The 
 mission featured the first spacewalk by an American. 
1968 In Operation Swift Saber, U.S. Marines swept an area 
 10 miles northwest of Danang in South Vietnam. 
1981 Israeli F-16 fighter-bombers destroyed Iraq’s only 
 nuclear reactor. 
1994 The United States District Court for the Eastern District 
 of Virginia declared the RMS Titanic, Inc. (RMST) 
 salvor-in-possession of the wreck and the wreck site of the 
 RMS Titanic. 
2000 U.S. Federal Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ordered the 
 breakup of Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft appealed.
2015  smiled.


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How to manage the icons on your task bar 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, June 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Chicago drug dealer, who chewed off cop car 
seat belt to attend son's Birthday Party
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1882 The first electric iron was patented by H.W. Seely. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. "Mary... Mary.... " "Is that you Fred?" "Yes, I have come back like we agreed." "What is it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, then I have sex, I have lunch, then sex pretty much all afternoon, supper, then sex till late at night, sleep then start all over again." "Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven." "Well no, I'm a rabbit in a pen Kansas." ______________________________________________________ A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded "When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Japanese MapleTree
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lashon Stuckey, 33, Chicago, Illinois
Drug dealer chews off cop car seat belt trying to attend son's birthday party It must have been some party. A Chicago man arrested on drug charges allegedly chewed off the seat belt in a cop car because he didn't want to miss his son's birthday party, according to NBC Chicago. He didn't make it. Lashon Stuckey, 33, was arrested Monday afternoon after police say they saw him selling $30 worth of heroin on a street on the city's Near West side, DNAInfo.com reports. Police found several other bags of heroin in his possession. Stuckey was placed in a squad car and taken to a nearby station. During the brief drive, the suspect managed to chew through his seat belt, causing several hundred dollars worth of damage, according to DNAInfo.com. Officers said Stuckey told them he didn't want to miss his son's birthday party, according to Illinois Patch. As heartwarming as the excuse might sound, it didn't fly. Stuckey was charged with two counts of possession of a controlled substance and one count of criminal damage to property. Stuckey remains stuck in jail in lieu of $75,000.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Taskbar management don't leave us hanging,how do you get into taskbar managment? daniel Hi Daniel You can right-click an empty spot in the task bar, and select Properties In there hit the CUSTOMIZE button. In that you can customize all task bar icons and their behavior. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ 74 year old Harold tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off. A month later he removed the cast and pronounced him well on the way to recovery. "Oh good," he responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?" "Yes," said the doctor, "if you will promise to be careful." "I can't tell you what a relief it will be," Harold sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe every time I had to go to the bathroom!" ______________________________________________________ Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, soon after he finishes college. Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A. No, 35 children is enough. Q: The more pregnant I get the more often strangers smile at me. Why? A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are. _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Deterring Pests Around Hummingbird Feeders I have had a lot of problems with yellow jackets, ants, and paper wasps around my hummingbird feeder. To solve this problem I took a strip of cotton and sprayed it with Raid Hornet and Wasp spray. You only want to dampen the cotton. Then I enclosed it in an onion bag, those mesh or net bags onions come in. I tied both ends shut. Then I tied it onto the hanger and twirled in around so it came down the one side short of the feeder holes. This has worked like a charm and the hummers do not have any problems feeding. *Be sure the cotton is damp and NOT drippy! By JunieB [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher. "Billy," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "I don't want to hear that language in here again." After a moment, she whispered aloud, "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too," Billy corrected. "It means the car won't start." _____________________________________________________ One day God and Adam were walking the garden. God told Adam that it was time to populate the Earth. "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." "Lord, what is a kiss?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and kissed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord! That was great! What's next?" "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." "Lord, what is caress?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush and caressed her. A little while later, Adam returned with a big smile and said, "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What's next?" "Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to make love to Eve." "Lord, what is make love?" asked Adam. God explained, and then Adam took Eve behind the bush. A few seconds later, Adam returned and asked, "Lord, what is a headache?" ____________________________________________________
Vintage Movie Theatre Etiquette Posters

Today in 
1674 Sivaji crowned himself King of India. 
1813 The U.S. invasion of Canada was halted at Stony Creek, 
 Ontario. 
1882 The first electric iron was patented by H.W. Seely. 
1924 The German Reichtag accepted the Dawes Plan. It was an 
 American plan to help Germany pay off its war debts. 
1925 Chrysler Corporation was founded by Walter P. Chrysler. 
1932 In the U.S., the first federal tax on gasoline went 
 into effect. It was a penny per gallon. 
1933 In Camden, NJ, the first drive-in movie theater opened. 
1936 The first helicopter was tested in a building in Berlin, 
 Germany. 
1941 The U.S. government authorized the seizure of foreign 
 ships in U.S. ports. 
1942 The first nylon parachute jump was made by Adeline Gray 
 in Hartford, CT. 
1942 Japanese forces retreated in the World War II Battle of 
 Midway. The battle had begun on June 4. 
1944 The D-Day invasion of Europe took place on the beaches 
 of Normandy, France. 400,000 Allied American, British and 
 Canadian troops were involved. 
1968 U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy died at 1:44am in Los 
 Angeles after being shot by Sirhan Sirhan. Kennedy was was 
 shot the evening before while campaigning for the Democratic 
 presidential nomination. 
1982 Israel invaded southern Lebanon in an effort to drive PLO 
 guerrillas out of Beirut. 
1985 The body of Nazi war criminal Dr. Josef Mengele was 
 located and exhumed near Sao Paolo, Brazil. Mengele was known 
 as the "Angel of Death." 
1985 The U.S. Senate authorized nonmilitary aid to the Contras. 
 The vote authorized $38 million over two years. 
1993 Mongolia held its first direct presidential elections. 
2005 The United States Supreme Court ruled that federal 
 authorities could prosecute sick people who smoke marijuana 
 on doctor's orders. The ruling concluded that state medical 
 marijuana laws did not protect uses from the federal ban 
 on the drug.
2015  smiled.


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How to get rid of the W10 icon? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, June 5
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman, who beat beau over kiss, cuddle rejection
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1998 A strike began at a General Motors Corp. parts factory 
 near Detroit, MI, that closed five assembly plants and 
 idled workers across the U.S. for seven weeks. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause. --- George Lucas (1944 - ) Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. --- Samuel Goldwyn Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. --- Socratex Yeah, I noticed that too. ______________________________________________________ A minister, after listening to an impromptu campaign speech on main street, "Before I vote for you for sheriff, I'd like to know if you partake of intoxicating beverages?" Candidate for sheriff, "Before I answer, tell me if this is an inquiry or an invitation." ______________________________________________________ A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!" Then silence. Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Danielle Houle, 39, Vero Beach, Florida
Woman Beat Beau Over Kiss, Cuddle Rejection A Florida woman is facing a domestic violence charge for allegedly biting, scratching, and hitting her boyfriend, when he declined to kiss and cuddle with her, police report. Danielle Houle, 39, was arrested last week for the 2:30 AM attack inside the Vero Beach home of Jacob Burns, whom Houle has dated for about a year. According to police reports, Houle “wanted to be affectionate and attempted to kiss” her 42-year-old beau, who declined the buss bid. Burns’s sister told a sheriff’s deputy that Houle tried to get “cuddly” with Burns. In response to her amorous advances being rebuffed, Houle allegedly attacked Burns. A deputy reported observing dried blood on Burns’s shirt, scratches on his head and neck, and a “large bite mark on the back of his upper left arm which was red, yellow and bruised.” Houle subsequently told an investigator that she "had been drinking and could not recall what had occurred” on May 25. Pictured above, Houle was charged with misdemeanor domestic battery (she spent a day in jail before being released on $1000 bond). Houle is also facing a probation violation charge since she is currently serving a five-year probation term stemming from a felony conviction for a drunk driving accident causing serious injury. Houle spent five years in prison on that prior case. If she was so drunk, that she could not remember anything, it's no surprise that she got rejected.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Taskbar management don't leave us hanging,how do you get into taskbar managment? daniel Hi Daniel You can right-click an empty spot in the task bar, and select Properties In there hit the CUSTOMIZE button. In that you can customize all task bar icons and their behavior. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ City Boy: Say, Dad, how many types of milk are there? Father: Well, there's evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted milk, and --but why do you ask? City Boy: Oh, I'm drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to know how many "spigots" to put on her. ______________________________________________________ A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date. but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more coffee, and I don't want to make another pot this close to closing time." _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Container Gardening Tomatoes Tips For Containers I have used container pots for many years for tomatoes and peppers, even lima beans and string beans. They are so easy and there are less bugs, less weeding and can be moved if you want more sun. I learned a couple of things about tomatoes which may help. First, there are plants called patio tomatoes, which are smaller sized plants (but give nice sized tomatoes) designed for container gardening. Also, I had noticed black spots on the bottoms of a few tomatoes. This is called blossom end rot, not to worry, just add lime to the soil and work it in and it clears it right up. I have planted cherry tomatos, plum and beefsteaks and have had excellent results. By LI Roe Merced, Roma, Heatwave, and Southern Star I plant varieties such as Merced, Roma, Heatwave, and Southern Star (bhn 444) in 18 gallon (2.5 cu ft) containers with holes drilled for drainage I fill it with Miracle Grow potting mix, 1 cup of Osmocote slow release 13-13-13, 1/4 cup of lime, fed every 12 days with a high phosphorous fertilizer. They do awesome, just watch the high winds as taller plants may blow over if not supported. By Atascosa, TX ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged when he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks or ten years older because of your wisdom." _____________________________________________________ As we drove along a Los Angeles thoroughfare lined with spectacular election advertising signs, six-year-old Billy exclaimed: "Look at all the bullboards!" ____________________________________________________
Let's take a trip to Australia.

Today in 
1595 Henry IV's army defeated the Spanish at the Battle 
 of Fontaine-Francaise. 
1752 Benjamin Franklin flew a kite for the first time to 
 demonstrate that lightning was a form of electricity. 
1794 The U.S. Congress prohibited citizens from serving 
 in any foreign armed forces. 
1827 Athens fell to the Ottomans. 
1865 The first safe deposit vault was opened in New York. 
 The charge was $1.50 a year for every $1,000 that was stored. 
1917 American men began registering for the World War I draft. 
1924 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson transmitted the first facsimile 
 message across the Atlantic Ocean. 
1933 President Roosevelt signed the bill that took the U.S. 
 off of the gold standard. 
1940 During World War II, the Battle of France began when 
 Germany began an offensive in Southern France. 
1944 The first B-29 bombing raid hit the Japanese rail line 
 in Bangkok, Thailand. 
1947 U.S. Secretary of State George C. Marshall gave a speech 
 at Harvard University in which he outlined the Marshall Plan. 
1956 Premier Nikita Khrushchev denounced Josef Stalin to the 
 Soviet Communist Party Congress. 
1967 The Six Day War between Israel and Egypt, Syria and 
 Jordan began. 
1975 Egypt reopened the Suez Canal to international shipping, 
 eight years after it was closed because of the 1967 war 
 with Israel. 
1981 In the U.S., the Center for Disease Control and Prevention 
 reported that five men in Los Angeles were suffering from 
 a rare pneumonia found in patients with weakened immune 
 systems. They were the first recognized cases of what came 
 to be known as AIDS. 
1986 A federal jury in Baltimore convicted Ronald W. Pelton 
 of selling secrets to the Soviet Union. Pelton was sentenced 
 to three life prison terms plus 10 years. 
1998 A strike began at a General Motors Corp. parts factory 
 near Detroit, MI, that closed five assembly plants and 
 idled workers across the U.S. for seven weeks. 
1998 Volkswagen AG won approval to buy Rolls-Royce Motor 
 Cars for $700 million, outbidding BMW's $554 million offer. 
2001 Amazon.com announced that it would begin selling 
 personal computers later in the year. 
2004 The U.S.S. Jimmy Carter was christened in the U.S. Navy 
 in Groton, CT.
2015  smiled.


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Windows 10 icon on task bar 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, June 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Oregon woman who bashes her online lover's head
with a metal bat on their first meeting.
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1783 A hot-air balloon was demonstrated by Joseph and 
 Jacques Montgolfier. It reached a height of 1,500 feet.
 They used a coal fired BBQ for the heater.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane. --- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943) "Did you ever see the customers in health- food stores? They are pale skinny people who look half-dead. In a steak house you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific." --- Bill Cosby Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. --- Elbert Hubbard ______________________________________________________ The census taker rang the doorbell and was quite surprised when the door was opened by a nude woman. "Don't be alarmed," she said, "I'm a nudist." Although somewhat embarrassed, the man proceeded to ask the routine questions. "How many children do you have?" he asked. "Eighteen." The lady replied. "Lady," he gasped, "you're not a nudist--you just don't have time to get dressed!" ______________________________________________________ The minister had just finished an excellent chicken dinner at the home of a member of his congregation when he saw a rooster come strutting through the yard. "That's certainly a proud-looking rooster you have there," the minister commented. "Yes, sir," replied the farmer. "He has reason to be proud -- one of his daughters has just entered the ministry!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Haley Fox, 24, Turner, Oregon
Oregon woman who bashes her online lover's head with a metal bat on their first meeting. An Alabama man who'd been dating an Oregon woman online for two years was left with a fractured skull after she beat him with a metal baseball bat in their first face-to-face meet, police said. Samuel Campbell, 26, traveled across the country to live with who he thought was the love-of-his-life Haley Fox at her Turner home on Wednesday, April 8, reports The Oregonian. But when he arrived, she allegedly led him to an outside table and told him to close his eyes. The 24-year-old then brutally smashed him over the head with the bat, it's alleged. Campbell, of Adger, Alabama, was rushed to Salem Hospital. Doctors discovered that his skull had been fractured and that several of his cuts required staples. Fox was arrested and charged with first-degree assault, reports AL.com. During questioning, she reportedly told detectives that she carried out the vicious attack because she didn't want to be Campbell's girlfriend. She posted bail and was released on condition that she did not contact Campbell, and is scheduled to be arraigned next week, reports the Sun-Herald. Campbell was treated and released from hospital. He is expected to make a full recovery.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Amy Re: Get Windows 10 icon on taskbar Dear Webby This is *not* a virus. It is a marketing ploy by Microsoft to get Windows 7 and 8 users to upgrade for free to Windows 10. If you want to ignore the stupid icon for now, just click on the little arrow at the left end of the taskbar. In the list that pops up, click on "hide icons and notifications." You can do this for any taskbar item you want to disappear. Amy Dear Amy You are right! It's an edict from the throne. Your owner has decided to put an ad, the "Get Windows 10" icon, onto your taskbar, to remind you about who owns your soul, or your windows anyway. So far that owner's icon has not appeared on my machine, and I don't have that arrow, that you mentioned, but I know how to get into taskbar management. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A college senior takes his his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girfriend snuggled closer and said to the surprised young man, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. But regardless of how you said it, I accept!" ______________________________________________________ The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now SquirrelBait," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little." _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Table Risers My roommate is in a battery powered scooter. While she tries to keep active, often her scooter has a mind of it's own. During a recent "Turkey and all the Fixins' Dinner", her power hand lever got caught under the lip of her work table. The scooter nearly dragged and spun the table and food to ruin. It took two of us lifting the table and turning off her chair to stop a disaster. So, I came up with this idea. I put a smaller can of mushrooms inside a can of veggies. You just have to have the correct sizes to fit inside, raising the table so she can still work on it and still clear whatever the obstacle is. I used veggie cans and little mushroom cans, but you can use vegetable juice cans and large fruit cans upside down inside for utility tables. Each are temporary or permanent, depending on your needs. The "temp" ones are great for picnics or food processing outside. Now, she can pull in without worrying about spilling a pan of hot food or a big salad on her. Win! Win! Source: Nope. Just mommy and the invention! Best are the round bottom veggie cans, that don't have a lip for the can opener. Glue a felt disk or piece from an old t-shirt onto the bottom for smooth sliding. When done, and the legs nicely centered in the cans, pour some plaster of Paris into the cans to fill them. That prevents anything fom falling or crawling into them, and you will never have to clean them out. It also stops them from clattering when you are moving the table. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son strolled around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but absolutely mezmerised by the two shiney, silver walls that moved apart, then slide back together again. The boy asked,"Pa, what's 'at?" The father, also never having seen an elevator responded,"Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in all my life. I just ain't got no idea what it could be." While the boy and his father watched in amazement, an older fat lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pushed a button. The walls opened up, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers light up sequentially. They watched until it reached the last number, and a few seconds later the numbers lit up one by one in reverse sequence until the number 1 lit up, the walls opened up again, and this voluptuous 24 year old blonde stepped out and strolled away. The father, not being able to take his eyes of the woman leaned over and quietly said to his son,"Boy, go get your Momma!!!!!! _____________________________________________________ >From Donna The trouble with hitting the jackpot on a slot machine is that it takes so long to put the money back into the slot. ____________________________________________________
The heating and cooling bills should be cheap but parking is a tad bit hard.

Today in 
1615 The fortress of Osaka, Japan, fell to shogun Ieyasu 
 after a six month siege. 
1647 The British army seized King Charles I and held him 
 as a hostage. 
1674 Horse racing was prohibited in Massachusetts. 
1783 A hot-air balloon was demonstrated by Joseph and 
 Jacques Montgolfier. It reached a height of 1,500 feet.
 They used a coal fired BBQ for the heater.
1784 Marie Thible became the first woman to fly in a 
 hot-air balloon. The flight was 45 minutes long and 
 reached a height of 8,500 feet. 
1792 Captain George Vancouver claimed Puget Sound for 
 Britain. 
1794 British troops captured Port-au-Prince, Haiti. 
1805 Tripoli was forced to conclude peace with U.S. 
 after the US Marines soundly defeated them.
1816 The Washington was launched at Wheeling, WV. It was 
 the first stately, double-decker steamboat. 
1878 Turkey turned Cyprus over to Britain. 
1896 Henry Ford made a successful test drive of his new 
 car in Detroit, MI. He called the vehicle a "Quadricycle." 
1911 Gold was discovered in Alaska's Indian Creek. 
1918 French and American troops halted Germany's offensive 
 at Chateau-Thierry, France. 
1919 The U.S. Senate passed the Women's Suffrage bill. 
1931 The first rocket-glider flight was made by William 
 Swan in Atlantic City, NJ. 
1935 "Invisible" glass was patented by Gerald Brown and 
 Edward Pollard. 
1939 The first shopping cart was introduced by Sylvan 
 Goldman in Oklahoma City, OK. It was actually a folding 
 chair that had been mounted on wheels. 
1940 The British completed the evacuation of 300,000 
 troops at Dunkirk, France. 
1942 The Battle of Midway began. It was the first major 
 victory for America over Japan during World War II. The 
 battle ended on June 6 and ended Japanese expansion in 
 the Pacific. 
1944 The U-505 became the first enemy submarine captured 
 by the U.S. Navy. 
1944 During World War II, the U.S. Fifth Army entered Rome, 
 which began the liberation of the Italian capital. 
1947 The House of Representatives approved the Taft-Hartley 
 Act.  The legislation allowed the President of the 
 United States to intervene in labor disputes. 
1954 French Premier Joseph Laniel and Vietnamese Premier 
 Buu Loc initialed treaties in Paris giving "complete 
 independence" to Vietnam. 
1960 The Taiwan island of Quemoy was hit by 500 artillery 
 shells fired from the coast of Communist China. 
1974 The Cleveland Indians had "Ten Cent Beer Night". 
 Due to the drunken and unruly fans the Indians forfeited 
 to the Texas Rangers. 
1985 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a lower court ruling 
 striking down an Alabama law that provided for a daily 
 minute of silence in public schools. 
1986 The California Supreme Court approved a law that 
 limited the liability of manufacturers and other wealthy 
 defendants. It was known as the "deep pockets law." 
1989 In Beijing, Chinese army troops stormed Tiananmen 
 Square to crush the pro-democracy movement. It is 
 believed that hundreds, possibly thousands, of demonstrators
 were killed. 
2003 The U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill 
 that would ban "partial birth" abortions with 282-139 vote.
2003 Amazon.com announced that it had received more than 
 1 million orders for the book "Harry Potter and the Order 
 of the Phoenix." 
 The released date was planned for June 21. 
2008 The United Kingdom and Canada became the first 
 countries to be able to buy and rent films at the 
 iTunes Store.
2015  smiled.


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Phony Get Windows 10 icon on taskbar 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, June 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Arizona woman, who told police ‘shit happens’ 
after car crash that killed child

Details at Boneheads

Today in
1805 A peace treaty between the U.S. and Tripoli was 
 completed in the captain's cabin on board the USS Constitution. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves. --- J. B. Priestley (1894 - 1984) One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. --- Rita Mae Brown ______________________________________________________ Granny was visiting town for the first time. She checks in at the hotel, and the bellboy takes her bags. She follows the boy, and as the door closes, she looks around and shakes her fist at him. "Young man, I may be old, and straight from the hills, but that don't mean I'm stupid! I paid good money, and this room won't do at all! It's too small, and without a proper window! There's not even a bed! And it shakes!" The bellhop looks at her and says, "Ma'am, this isn't your room, it's the elevator." ______________________________________________________ My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, he responded, "Well, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aaronessa Keaton, 24, Glendale, Arizona
Arizona woman tells police ‘shit happens’ after car crash that killed child Aaronessa Keaton, 24, was arrested Monday for the crash that killed a child, police said. An Arizona woman being arrested for a car crash that killed a 5-year-old child had two words to say when informed that the boy had died: "shit happens." Those callous words were recorded by Glendale police officers while booking 24-year-old Aaronessa Keaton behind bars Monday for charges including manslaughter for last year's collision, KPHO reported. Court documents show that the Phoenix woman, who gave birth to a premature baby girl via C-section shortly after the Feb. 28, 2014 crash, was found with marijuana and sedatives in her system. Those drugs were also found in her newborn's system. What was a joyful ending for Keaton, however, was a nightmare for the other family that wasn't as lucky. Authorities say Keaton first side-swiped an oncoming sedan before plowing almost head-on into an oncoming pickup truck. Inside that vehicle, a 5-year-old boy was killed while a second child was injured. In January charges were filed against Aaronessa Keaton for manslaughter, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and five counts of endangerment. A warrant was issued in late February, leading to her arrest by Glendale police yesterday.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cleta Re: Phony Get Windows 10 icon on taskbar Dear Webby On my task bar there is a new one and it is called Get Windows 10. I have Windows 7 right now. Thanks Cleta Dear Cleta That is a virus or Trojan. Run Malwarebytes! You can get a free version at http://webby.com/malwarebytes Let me know if that doesn't take care of it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An avid golfer was late coming home from his weekly game. As he dragged himself wearily through the door, his worried wife met him. "Honey," she said, "How was your game? Why are you so late?" "Well," he replied, "this had to be the worst, hardest game of my life. Jack died out there on the golf course. Just had a heart attack and then died." "Oh, no!" she cried. "How awful for you! He was your best friend! No wonder you are late!" "Yes, the ordeal really wore me out," he said, "the whole rest of the game it was hit the ball, drag Jack, hit the ball, drag Jack." ______________________________________________________ The gigantic computer took up a whole wall, dwarfing the programmer and the mathematician standing before it. After much flashing and humming a sliver of paper emerged from the vitals of the machine. The mathematician, after studying it gravely, turned to the programmer and said with awe, "Do you realize that it would take four hundred ordinary mathematicians a hundred years of calculations..... to make a mistake this big!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Five Minute Chocolate Mug Cake When you need a quick delicious dessert for one or two. Mix these ingredients in a mug, microwave 3 minutes and it's done! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: one or two per mug Ingredients: 1 coffee mug 4 Tbsp plain flour 4 Tbsp sugar 2 Tbsp baking cocoa 1 egg 3 Tbsp milk 3 Tbsp oil splash of vanilla 3 Tbsp chocolate chips (optional) Five Minute Chocolate Mug Cake Steps: Add dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa) into cup and mix together. Add egg and mix. Add milk, oil and vanilla and mix. If adding chocolate chips, add them at this time. Place mug in microwave and cook for 3 minutes. The cake will rise over the mug but mine never spilled over. Just watch it and don't be alarmed when it rises high. Allow the mug to cool. I ran a knife around the inside of the cup and the cake came right out or you may eat it right from the mug. The chips will be soft, hot and wet, sort of like a molten cake mix. At this point you may sprinkle powdered sugar, add a dollop of ice cream or just eat it as is. It's moist enough. Now you can have chocolate cake any time of the day in only 5 minutes. You're welcome! : ) By Donna [244] If you can't take sugar, don't worry! I use finely slivered dates, from the hard blocks of dried pitted dates, not the expensive, soft, trail-mix type. It takes half a minute with a sharp knife to sliver a heaping TBSP, which does about the same amount of sweetening as 4 TBSP sugar, but doesn't spike your glucose levels. It adds an interesting hint of a wild flavor, and I usually skip the vanilla. I rarely skip a teaspoon of semi-sweet chips, though! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Johnny, burst into the house, crying his eyes out. His Mama asked him what the problem was. "Pop and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, when he was reeling it in, the line busted, ....and the fish got away." "Now come on, Johnny,"" his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have laughed." "That's what I did, Mama." _____________________________________________________ There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.When asked to define "great", he said: "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages. ____________________________________________________
I didn't know anyone could bend like that!

Today in 
1098 Christian Crusaders of the First Crusade seized 
 Antioch, Turkey. 
1539 Hernando De Soto claimed Florida for Spain. 
1621 The Dutch West India Company received a charter for 
 New Netherlands (now known as New York). 
1805 A peace treaty between the U.S. and Tripoli was 
 completed in the captain's cabin on board the USS Constitution. 
1851 The New York Knickerbockers became the first baseball team 
 to wear uniforms. 
1856 Cullen Whipple patented the screw machine. 
1918 The Finnish Parliament ratified its treaty with Germany. 
1923 In Italy, Benito Mussolini granted women the right to vote. 
1937 The Duke of Windsor, who had abdicated the British throne, 
 married Wallis Warfield Simpson. 
1938 The German Reich voted to confiscate so-called 
 "degenerate art." 
1952 A rebellion by North Korean prisoners in the Koje prison 
 camp in South Korea was put down by American troops. 
1965 Edward White became the first American astronaut to do a 
 "space walk" when he left the Gemini 4 capsule. 
1970 Har Gobind Khorana and colleagues announced the first 
 synthesis of a gene from chemical components. 
1989 Chinese army troops positioned themselves to began a 
 sweep of Beijing to crush student-led pro-democracy 
 demonstrations in Tiananmen Square. 
1999 Slobodan Milosevic's government accepted an international 
 peace plan concerning Kosovo. NATO announced that airstrikes 
 would continue until 40,000 Serb forces were withdrawn from 
 Kosovo. 
2015  smiled.


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How to get pictures from PDF to FaceBook 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, June 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Mother Arrested For Potato Sack Attack On Son
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1953 Elizabeth was crowned queen of England. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. --- Larry Hardiman As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible ______________________________________________________ The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time they flushed the toilets. During one of my daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. I was explaining how my daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell me all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly we heard my daughter call out from the bathroom, "Flushing!" "Good grief," said my friend, "How much more do you want to know?" ______________________________________________________ A sad-faced Todd walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Todd's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Todd asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. "And what day will that be?" the clerk asked. Glumly he replied, "Yesterday." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rachel Salters, 46, Orange City, Florida
Mother Arrested For Potato Sack Attack On Son A mother whacked her 12-year-old son in the head with a sack of potatoes and then pelted the boy with the vegetable as he cowered behind a toilet in the family’s Florida home, police allege. According to investigators, the victim last night asked Rachel Salters, 46, to “make him some dinner,” a request that “started a verbal argument which led to Salters picking up a full bag of potatoes.” As Salters, seen above, allegedly began striking the child in the head with the potatoes, he “fled into the bathroom where he locked the door.” Salters, “in a sense of enragement,” then kicked the door until it broke open, according to a Volusia County Sheriff’s Office report. Once inside the bathroom, Salters, who is nicknamed “Rae Rae,” resumed hitting the child in the head with the sack of potatoes. “When the bag broke open, Salters picked up several potatoes off of the bathroom floor and began pitching them” at the boy, who was in the fetal position between the toilet and the shower. The child was not injured during the confrontation at the Orange City home. When a deputy questioned Salters about the bathroom door’s broken frame, she replied, “I don’t know.” She offered a similar response when asked about a potato that cops found on the bathroom floor. Following her arrest, Salters reportedly shouted, “I didn’t hit him with the potato, I only threw it at him!” After being placed in a patrol car, an “extremely hostile and aggressive” Salters claimed that it was not a crime to hit the boy, and reiterated that she “only threw potatoes at him.” Salters was charged with felony child abuse and tampering with evidence (for removing a potato from the home’s bathroom after being told by cops not to touch anything in the room). She is being held in lieu of $11,500 bond, according to jail records. The victim was temporarily placed in the custody of a state child welfare investigator who planned on releasing the boy to Salters’s husband (who himself was arrested last month for battery).
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: Picture from PDF to Facebook Dear Webby Greetings from the lower 48. Thanks for you daily letter. I have a small problem. How do I download a PDF photo to Facebook. It is on Acrobat. I Have Open Office and MS Word. I can download the file to Pictures or Documents but cannot download to Facebook. I get the message " not in JPG or file is too large." There has to be a simple way to do this but I can't get the solution myself. Many thanks for your help, Hank Dear Hank I use Nitro reader instead of Acrobat, so that I can fill out PDF forms. With Nitro, you right-click a picture, select COPY, then ALT TAB to the previously opened graphics program, PSP in my case, but any of them will work, and in there hit CTRL V to paste the picture. Then I can crop and resize the picture, put a caption onto it, increase contrast, change brightness, etc., and then save it as a JPG. Most likely you can do the same with Acrobat. Once you have saved it as JPG or PNG, you can upload it to Facebook. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "If you have amnesia and experience deja-vue at the same time, does that mean you feel like you've forgotten this stuff before?" ______________________________________________________ Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home because he was performing an appendectomy. "My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?" "Sure do! Fifteen-hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dye Your Own Hair It takes my breath away thinking about how much money we can spend at beauty salons. I stopped going to get my hair dyed years ago. Now I simply buy my own at my local grocery store. I spend a fraction of the amount I used to. Not only that, I don't have to worry about not being able to get a convenient appointment time. :) Try it, you will not be disappointed. You will also have more money in your piggy bank! Source: Self By melissa [136] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum. "I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking." "No problem," the patient said patiently. "I'm sure by tomorrow some doctor will sober up. I'm still a bit tired from that operation anyway." _____________________________________________________ Here is a real classic: A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your helpmate, your health, and your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else. The small Stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your helpmate out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." "Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." But then... A student then took the jar, which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to slowly pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer soaked into the sand and the remaining air spaces, within the jar making the jar truly full. The moral of the Story: No matter how full your life is, no matter how important you think you or your job are or how much little crap you have to do, there is always room for a BEER. ____________________________________________________
What an engineering feat!

Today in 
1537 Pope Paul III banned the enslavement of Indians. 
1774 The Quartering Act, which required American colonists 
 to allow British soldiers into their houses, was reenacted. 
1793 Maximillian Robespierre initiated the "Reign of Terror". 
 It was an effort to purge those suspected of treason 
 against the French Republic. 
1818 The British army defeated the Maratha alliance in 
 Bombay, India. 
1851 Maine became the first U.S. state to enact a law 
 prohibiting alcohol. 
1896 Guglieimo Marconi's radio telegraphy device was 
 patented in Great Britain. 
1897 Mark Twain, at age 61, was quoted by the New York 
 Journal as saying "the report of my death was an 
 exaggeration." He was responding to the rumors that 
 he had died. 
1924 All American Indians were granted U.S. citizenship by 
 the U.S. Congress. 
1928 Nationalist Chiang Kai-shek captured Peking, China. 
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt accepted the 
 first swimming pool to be built inside the White House. 
1946 Italians voted by referendum to form a republic 
 instead of a monarchy. 
1953 Elizabeth was crowned queen of England. 
1954 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that there were 
 communists working in the CIA and atomic weapons plants. 
1966 Surveyor 1, the U.S. space probe, landed on the moon 
 and started sending photographs back to Earth of the Moon's 
 surface. It was the first soft landing on the Moon. 
1969 Australian aircraft carrier Melbourne sliced the 
 destroyer USS Frank E. Evans in half off the shore of 
 South Vietnam. 
1979 Pope John Paul II arrived in his native Poland on the 
 first visit by a pope to a Communist country. 
1998 Royal Caribbean Cruises agreed to pay $9 million to 
 settle charges of dumping waste at sea. 
1998 Voters in California passed Proposition 227. The act 
 abolished the state's 30-year-old bilingual education program 
 by requiring that all children be taught in English. 
1999 In South Africa, the African National Congress (ANC) won 
 a major victory. ANC leader Thabo Mbeki was to succeed 
 Nelson Mandela as the nation's president. 
2003 In Seville, Spain, a chest containing the supposed remains 
 of Christopher Columbus were exhumed for DNA tests to determine 
 whether the bones were really those of the explorer. The tests 
 were aimed at determining if Colombus was currently buried in 
 Spain's Seville Cathedral or in Santo Domingo in the 
 Dominican Republic. 
2003 William Baily was reunited with two paintings he had left on 
 a subway platform. One of the works was an original Picasso 
 rendering of two male figures and a recreation of Picasso's 
 "Guernica" by Sophie Matisse.
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, June 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Indiana Woman stabbed hostess
in bbq argument over last rib
Details at Boneheads

Today in

More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws." ______________________________________________________ When Jerry's daughter, Dani, was about 5 years old, she was thoroughly impressing her grandparents with her knowledge of insects while they were out for a walk. She readily identified ants, grasshoppers, crickets, ladybugs and such. When they happened upon a small beetle she did not immediately recognize, she looked at it thoughtfully, raised her foot and stomped it into oblivion on the sidewalk. 'That one', she said, 'is a Squashed Bug.' ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Aescher Hotel, Appenzell, Switzerland Yes, you can sit on the deck to cool off. It's quite a hike to get up there.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Walter, the THE Stonecarver for reporting this Bonehead An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sabrina A. Davis, 45, MUNCIE, Indiana
Indiana Woman stabbed hostess in bbq argument over last rib A beef over barbecue ribs led to a one woman stabbing another woman in the eye with a fork. Sabrina A. Davis, 45, was arrested Sunday night after allegedly stabbing another woman, who complained that Davis had taken the last rib, the Muncie StarPress reports. Witnesses told police that the victim was the daughter of the woman throwing the party. The victim allegedly confronted Davis about taking so much food from the house. Davis allegedly responded by plunging a serving fork into the woman's eye, which caused at least two small lacerations on the left eye, according to the Indianapolis Star. The victim's eyes were “swollen and bloodshot.” The suspect told police she acted in self-defense because the hostess was waving a knife in her face, according to the Metro. Davis has been charged with criminal recklessness. She remains in the Delaware County jail on $5,000 bond. She has previously been convicted of theft and conversion, according to the Muncie StarPress.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: WORD stopped loading Dear Webby I am running Windows7 & lately my Word program has stopped loading. Can you help? Bill M Dear Bill Find the Setup file, and copy it to a safe place, preferably onto a CD. Then run the Setup again and overwrite the current installation. Sometimes that works. If it doesn't, UNinstall it from the Control panel, copy the secretly saved copy of the setup file back onto the C: drive, and run setup from there. If that doesn't help, then you have to download a fresh copy from Microsoft. Hopefully that won't be necessary. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A person with "lightly colored hair" had an older Porsche 911 with the engine in the rear. While driving down the road one day the car stalled and died. The person got out, went to the front of the car, lifted the hood and discovered the engine missing. Pretty soon a "similar person" who also happened to have a Porsche stopped to see if they could help. They asked, "What's the problem?" The first one replied, "I don't know. But somewhere along the road I lost my engine. It must have just fallen out." "Oh well," said the second, "You can borrow one from me, I have a spare in the back trunk." ______________________________________________________ A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" he answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish." Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chocolate Avocado Pudding Yes, you read it right, chocolate avocado pudding! Before you say strange, you just have to try this. It is honestly the best pudding I have ever had. I am a die hard chocolate lover and this passed my test. Best of all, it is super good for you! Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 servings Ingredients: 1 ripe avocado, peeled and pit removed 3/4 cup vanilla almond milk 4 Tbsp cocoa 10 pitted dates 1/2 tsp almond extract Steps: Add all of your ingredients to a food processor or heavy duty blender. Mix well. Prepare to say yum with no guilt involved. :) Source: Modified from a recipe in one of my cookbooks. By melissa [135] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." _____________________________________________________ The Nurse was taking Joe's blood pressure. She caused him some concern by rechecking it twice, then saying, "Hmmmm. That's odd -- it's normal." He replied that he had taken his high blood pressure medicine less than an hour ago. She said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was losing it. Normally when I take the men's BP readings they're always on the high side." ____________________________________________________
Exquisite artworks carved from Jade

Today in 
1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII’s new queen, was crowned.
1774 The British government ordered the Port of Boston closed. 
1861 The first skirmish of the U.S. Civil War took place at 
 the Fairfax Court House, Virginia. 
1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric 
 voting machine. 
1877 U.S. troops were authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico. 
1921 A race riot erupted in Tulsa, OKlahoma. 85 people 
 were killed. 
1935 The Ingersoll-Waterbury Company reported that it had 
 produced 2.5 million Mickey Mouse watches during its 2-year 
 association with Disney. 
1938 Baseball helmets were worn for the first time. 
1939 The Douglas DC-4 made its first passenger flight from 
 Chicago to New York. 
1941 The German Army completed the capture of Crete as the 
 Allied evacuation ended. 
1942 The U.S. began sending Lend-Lease materials to the 
 Soviet Union. 
1943 During World War II, Germans shot down a civilian 
 flight from Lisbon to London. 
1944 The French resistance was warned by a coded message 
 from the British that the D-Day invasion was imminent. 
1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico. 
1954 In the Peanuts comic strip, Linus' security blanket 
 made its debut. 
1958 Charles de Gaulle became the premier of France. 

1961 Radio listeners in New York, California, and Illinois 
 were introduced to FM multiplex stereo broadcasting. A 
 year later the FCC made this a standard. 
1963 Governor George Wallace vowed to defy an injunction 
 that ordered the integration of the University of Alabama. 
1970 Rhodesia became Zimbabwe. 
1977 The Soviet Union formally charged Jewish human rights 
 activist Anatoly Shcharansky with treason. He was imprisoned 
 until 1986. 
1978 The U.S. reported the finding of wiretaps in the American 
 embassy in Moscow. 
1980 Cable News Network (CNN) made its debut as the first 
 all-news station. 
1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved a urine-only test for the 
 AIDS virus. 
1998 A $124 million suit was brought against Goodyear Tire 
 & Rubber that alleged discrimination towards black workers. 
2008 The Phoenix Mars Lander became the first NASA spacecraft 
 to scoop Martian soil. 
2009 General Motors filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. The filing 
 made GM the largest U.S. industrial company to enter 
 bankruptcy protection.
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, May 31

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman arrested for biting off a
pit bull’s testicles
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1870 E.J. DeSemdt patented asphalt. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled. --- Michael Crichton (1942 - 2008) ______________________________________________________ Canada Day, July 1, and July 4th are approaching rapidly, and it's time to start getting your fireworks together. You got one month! Btw., did you know that in order to encourage interstate travelling in the US every second state forbids fireworks and you have to go to the next state to get them. You can always tell that you are getting close to a state border when you see those firworks sales huts on the side of the freeway. In Canada fireworks are usually regulated locally but rarely enforced unless somebody does something really stupid. However, in this one town, which shall remain nameless, the local dogooders decided to push for a bylaw banning fireworks, even though the only reported accident was when a city council member had forgotten that her hubby had stashed the fireworks in the barbeque to keep them out of the rain and out of the reach of the kids. And she pushed the button to light it and heat it up. The lid apparently is still in orbit. An opponent to the proposed fireworks bylaw erected a sign that read: "ALL dogooders should be blown up" The next morning somebody had spraypainted underneath: "That would do them good" ______________________________________________________ The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children's ward. "Are you medical or surgical?" asked the first, who had been in the ward for a week. "I don't know what you mean," replied the second. "It's simple," replied the first. "Were you sick when you came in here? Or did they make you sick when you got here?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Nowadays I choose warmer camp sites.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Walter, the THE Stonecarver for reporting this Bonehead An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Audrey Ranch, 62, MADISON, West Virginia
Woman arrested for biting off a pit bull’s testicles Witnesses told police this week that they pleaded with Boone county resident, Audrey Ranch, 62, to stop hurting her son’s pit bull, but she refused. “Eventually she bit Pedro’s acorns clean off right there in the front yard,” a witness said. “Pedro hightailed it screeching like a wild Indian and when I tried to subdue Audrey, she knocked me out with an old tricycle.” Realizing the police had been called and knowing she had time to hide (it is a 45 minute drive to her house), Mrs. Ranch cut off a length of garden hose, dug a hole and had her son help bury her. She used the garden hose as a breathing apparatus. Officers from the Boone County Sheriff’s Office arrived, unburied Ranch and arrested her without incident. Ranch explained her actions to police: “My son ate all the meat and I had warned him if he ate all the meat, I’d eat his dog.” The dog underwent emergency surgery and is expected to make a recovery. Ranch is facing charges of aggravated animal cruelty. There might be additional charges for knocking out a bystander.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richard Re: Windows update takes forever Dear Webby I triad that Windows DiskClean that you said should be safe enough. All seemed to be fine, but this morning, after MalwareBytes found an Artemis Trojan and wanted to reboot after deletiing it, Windows did an unauthorized update. The update took over half an hour and had me rather concerned. OK, I'll admit it, it had me quite scared. After a quarter hour I disconnected the external drive and disconnected the modem. Eventually it did finish, and gave me an extremely slow start-up. Is that normal, or some kind of malfunction? Richard Dear Richard You are not the only one, who got hit with that. It seems Microsoft was slowing W7 down to the speed of W8, or some other mysterious and unexplained schenanigans. There is no publicly available excuse for the unusually long update, but even though it is scary, Windows still works afterwards and no data seems to be missing. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My grand-daddy worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a young fella, and he used to tell me, when I was a little nipper, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the hard work of blacksmithing. One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulder muscles. As he told it, he would stand outside behind the wood shed, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand, extend his arms straight out from his sides and hold them there as long as he could. After awhile he tried 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato sacks and finally he got to where he could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each hand and hold his arms straight out for more than two full minutes. Then, he started putting potatoes in the sacks. ______________________________________________________ Dog looks at human and thinks: "My hero, my friend, my buddy." Cat looks at human and thinks: "My can-opener." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Creative Sink Storage Ideas I have a tip for those of us that still like to do dishes by hand. I was tired of looking at the bottle of dish soap on my sink, so I decides to get a cute pickle dish with 3 sections at the dollar store and place my sink items I use every day in it. I also got a lemon squirt bottle for my dish soap. That way you don't waste as much and no big bottle at your sink. You can use ketchup/mustard any refillable smaller bottle. I know I could put it under my sink, but, with everyone using the sink, it's easier for us. I hope some one can use this idea! By diva53d from Foymount, Ontario I realized some time ago that my Dawn bottle seems to cover itself with a film of soap. Now I fill it into an old shampoo/conditioner bottle with a good pump action squirter. Depending on how hard I hit that pump, I can precision squirt the soap to any part of the sink. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice: "Uhhh... all by myself? Well, I suppose somebody is going to have to start doing that." _____________________________________________________ Tammy and Ann were sitting in church during a rather lengthy sermon. Finally, Tammy turned to Ann and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!" Ann turned to her and said, "I know! I heard it snoring!" ____________________________________________________
Exquisite artworks carved from Jade

Today in 
1433 Sigismund was crowned emperor of Rome. 
1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation. 
1870 E.J. DeSemdt patented asphalt. 
1884 Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented "flaked cereal." 
1889 In Johnstown, PA, more than 2,200 people died after 
 the South Fork Dam collapsed. 
1900 U.S. troops arrived in Peking to help put down the 
 Boxer Rebellion. 
1902 The Boer War ended between the Boers of South Africa 
 and Great Britain with the Treaty of Vereeniging. 
1907 The first taxis arrived in New York City. They were 
 the first in the United States. 
1909 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored 
 People (NAACP) held its first conference. 
1910 The Union of South Africa was founded. 
1915 A German zeppelin made an air raid on London. 
1927 Ford Motor Company produced the last "Tin Lizzie" in 
 order to begin production of the Model A. 
1929 In Beverly, MA, the first U.S. born reindeer were born. 
1943 "Archie" was aired on the Mutual Broadcasting System for 
 the first time. 
1947 Communists seized control of Hungary. 
1955 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered that all states must end 
 racial segregation "with all deliberate speed." 
1961 South Africa became an independent republic. 
1962 Adolf Eichmann was hanged in Israel. Eichmann was a 
 Gestapo official and was executed for his actions in the 
 Nazi Holocaust.
1970 An earthquake in Peru killed tens of thousands of people. 
1974 Israel and Syria signed an agreement on the Golan Heights. 
1977 The trans-Alaska oil pipeline was finished after 3 years 
 of construction. Still works quite well.
1979 Zimbabwe proclaimed its independence. 

1994 The U.S. announced it was no longer aiming long-range nuclear 
 missiles at targets in the former Soviet Union. 
1995 Bob Dole singled out Time Warner for "the marketing of evil" 
 in movies and music. Dole later admitted that he had not seen or 
 heard much of what he had been criticizing. 
2003 In North Carolina, Eric Robert Rudolph was captured. He had been 
 on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list for five years for several bombings 
 including the 1996 Olympic bombing.He got four consecutive 
 life sentences on a plea bargain to avoid trial and the death 
 sentence.
2015  smiled.


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How to start DiskClean 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, May 30

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida Shoplifter, who stuffed an
AK-47 down his pants at pawn shop
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1431 Joan of Arc, 19, was burned at the stake in Rouen, France.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming. --- Wernher von Braun (1912 - 1977) ______________________________________________________ The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than normal. Later, at the door, shaking hands with parishioners as they moved out, one man said, "Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful - so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing." The minister of course, broke out in a big smile, only to hear the man say, "I felt like a new man when I woke up!" ______________________________________________________ Little Jimmy was laying about on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God. "God? Are you really there?" Jimmy said out loud. To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. "Yes, Jimmy? What can I do for you?" Seizing the opportunity, Jimmy asked, "God? What is a million years like to you?" Knowing that Jimmy could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Jimmy could relate, "A million years to me, Jimmy, is like a minute." "Oh," said Jimmy. "Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?" "A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny." "Wow!" remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. "You're so generous...can I have one of your pennies?" God replied, "Sure thing, Jimmy! Just a minute." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Iguazu Falls, Argentina
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Yesterday's bonehead was reported by Sailor. Thanks Sailor! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Marlon Paul Alvarez, 19, Fort Lauderdale Florida
Shoplifter stuffed AK-47 down pants at pawn shop Marlon Paul Alvarez, of Fort Lauderdale, made his first appearance in court Wednesday where Broward Judge John Hurley expressed concern about Alvarez's behavior. "You allegedly went into that pawn shop and removed an AK-47 rifle on display and stuck it down your pants," the judge read from the arrest report. "After a while, [you] pulled it out, put it back, then grabbed another assault rifle off another display [and] put that down your pants." The owner of Public Pawn and Gun at 6798 Stirling Rd. noticed Alvarez limping out of the store with the assault rifle down his pant leg about 11:30 a.m. Tuesday, police said. Owner Kevin Hughes confronted Alvarez outside and recovered the brand new $830 weapon before Alvarez ran off, the arrest report stated. Alvarez was seen on security video and the business owner was able to identify him when the suspect was arrested a short time later, police said. Alvarez said in court he had moved to Florida from New York about one year ago and the judge noted there was a New York injunction ordering Alvarez to stay away from guns. Assistant state attorney Eric Linder asked the judge to set a high bond. "It's one thing to try to steal a firearm, it's another thing trying to steal an AK47 and potentially trying to put a stolen firearm out on the street," Linder said. Hurley set bond at $25,000 for grand theft and the violation of a domestic violence injunction. He revoked bond for a May 15 arrest on theft and drug possession charges in Pembroke Pines, Florida Department of Law Enforcement records showed. "The court was just very concerned about your alleged behavior without even knowing your criminal background," Hurley said. According to the arrest report, Alvarez confessed to stealing the rifle. The report does not say whether it was the pawn shop owner or the police who gave him the facial decoration.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Anuk Re: Disk Clean Dear Webby There used to be a disk Clean in Windows. How do I find and use it? Anuk Dear Anuk Click on START, and into trhe RUN field type cleanmgr Then you get to choose the drive, that you want to clean up, and hit OK. It's not fast at all, and probably won't find much to clean, if you have run CrapCleaner on a regular basis. However, it should not hurt your system or speed. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use, on the average, only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat or explain everything they say. He replied, "What do you mean?" ______________________________________________________ A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff already." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Old Encyclopedias for Gag Gift Cards Since old encyclopedia sets are hard to sell and no one has the space for them anymore, individual volumes make great "birthday" or event cards. Give the volume that is the initial of the person and say something pithy on the inside. As a joke I gave the S volume to a friend we dubbed the snake oil salesman - tabbing the Snake article of course! By Lynette C. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing." - Tom Dreesen _____________________________________________________ Fortune cookie inserts: "Man who run in front of car get tired" "Man who run behind car get exhausted" "Two wrongs not make a right - Three lefts do" "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money." "War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left." "Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!" "Man who sit on tack get point!" "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!" "Man who lives in glass house should change in basement" "If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient." The all-time favorite I ever got was this one, in the Shangri-La, a restaurant in Whitehorse in the 1970's. "Heed this advice" ____________________________________________________
Aging gracefully from infancy to old age. This is absolutely stunning and so beautifully done.

Today in 
1416 Jerome of Prague was burned as a heretic by the Church. 
1431 Joan of Arc, 19, was burned at the stake in Rouen, France.
1527 The University of Marburg was founded in Germany. 
1539 Hernando de Soto, the Spanish explorer, landed in Florida 
 with 600 soldiers to search for gold. 
1814 The First Treaty of Paris was declared, which returned 
 France to its 1792 borders. 
1848 W.G. Young patented the ice cream freezer. 
1883 Twelve people were trampled to death in New York City 
 in a stampede after a rumor spread, that the Brooklyn Bridge 
 was in danger of collapsing.
1896 The first automobile accident occurred in New York City. 
1903 In Riverdale, NY, the first American motorcycle hill 
 climb was held. 
1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the 
 time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes 
 Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour. 
1913 The First Balkan War ended. 
1921 The U.S. Navy transferred the Teapot Dome oil reserves 
 to the Department of the Interior. 
1943 American forces secured the Aleutian island of Attu 
 from the Japanese during World War II. 
1958 Unidentified soldiers killed in World War II and the 
 Korean conflicts were buried at Arlington National Cemetery. 
1967 Daredevil Evel Knievel jumped 16 automobiles in a row 
 in a motorcycle stunt at Ascot Speedway in Gardena, CA. 
1967 The state of Biafra seceded from Nigeria and Civil 
 war erupted. 
1971 Mariner 9, the American deep space probe blasted off 
 on a journey to Mars. 
1982 Spain became the 16th NATO member. Spain was the first 
 country to enter the Western alliance since West Germany in 1955. 
1983 Peru's President Fernando Belaunde Terry declared a state 
 of emergency and suspended civil rights after bombings by 
 leftist rebels. 
1989 The "Goddess of Democracy" statue (33 feet height) was 
 erected in Tiananmen Square by student demonstrators. 
1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson were granted 
 an uncontested decree ending their 10-year marriage. 
1997 Jesse K. Timmendequas was convicted in Trenton, NJ, of 
 raping and strangling a 7-year-old neighbor, Megan Kanka. 
 The 1994 murder inspired "Megan's Law," requiring that 
 communities be notified when sex offenders move in. 
1998 A powerful earthquake hit northern Afghanistan killing 
 up to 5,000. 
2015  smiled.


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Gmail filters the easy way 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, May 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Jean!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman accused of pouring bleach on her wife
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became first 
 men to reach the top of Mount Everest.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A musicologist is a man who can read music but can't hear it. --- Sir Thomas Beecham (1879 - 1961) Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. A friend left me alone in a restaurant with her 16-month-old kid. I asked, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite vegetable and I will not be asked to babysit again. --------------- Another trick I found working well is to keep my hands in my pockets, when somebody thrusts (throws) a leaking or screeching baby at me. They are usually totally off-balance, when I don't take the baby, and I get to grab the mother to keep her from falling over. It's a lot funnier for me than for her. ______________________________________________________ There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for this picture: Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Susan Leslie, 51, Des Moines, Iowa
Woman accused of pouring bleach on wife Police on Tuesday arrested a Des Moines woman on suspicion of pouring bleach over her wife earlier that day. Police were dispatched to the couple's home at about 3 p.m. T uesday to address a domestic dispute, according to the police report. The victim called police after the couple got into an argument over the victim cleaning a bedroom with Febreze, an air freshener. Police took Susan Leslie, 51, into custody that afternoon, according to the report. Leslie was upset because the Febreze was making her "very sick," police said. Leslie's wife locked herself in a bedroom to escape from Leslie and called 911 with her cellphone. The call kept dropping, according to the report, so the victim called a friend, who notified Des Moines police. Leslie is accused of using a pair of scissors to pry open the door to get to the victim. Leslie was holding a can of bleach, and police said she poured it on the victim's head and arms. The victim ran away. When police arrived, Leslie told police she was in pain because her wife had physically assaulted her. Leslie told police the victim hit her with the bleach bottle, but police saw no visible injury on Leslie. When police found the victim, she smelled of bleach and had bleached areas on her sweatshirt and pants. The victim filed for a no-contact order because, police said, she was scared of further physical fights with Leslie. Police arrested Leslie, 51, on charges of domestic assault with intent to cause injury or display of weapon. Leslie was taken to Polk County Jail. Bond was set at $2,000.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: Gmail Filters Dear Webby My email addresses were 'attacked' and a message was sent out to the addresses. What a mess - Did you get an email from me also. . . . . Now my GMAIL messages go directly to Trash. The directions are to go to Tools, etc and make changes to the filter. I cannot locate this. Can you please help? Thanks Denise Dear Denise If a spam mail or malicious mail was sent to me, MailWasher murdered it, in the dark, unseen by any human. And sent it to hell! Filters in Gmail? Would be a lot easier if you were on Skype, so that I could step you through the process. 1) Open Gmail 2) In the search on top type a phrase, that is only in the spam or malicious email, let's say "Beneficiary". 3) At the right side of the search field, just before the blue field with the magnifying glass, is a tiny downward facing triangle. Pull that down. 4) That gives you "Show Search Options", and depending on your version, might open the Search Options, with "Beneficiary" already filled in. 5) At the bottom right corner in that Search Option screen there is a link to "Create filter with this search » ". Hit that. 6) In the next screen you have all kinds of options for doing things to mails with "Beneficiary" in it. Put a checkmark on "Delete it". 7) At the bottom, beside CREATE FILTER is another checkbox, "Also apply filter to 7.. matching conversations". Checkmark that. 8) Hit Create Filter You might want to highlight the blue part, and hit CTRL P to print , but choose "Print Selection". Then you can follow the 8 steps almost as easily as if you were flirting at me on Skype (text). After making that filter by using my much easier method, you can stick that printed sheet into the ziplock bag with the cheat sheets, that you got attached to the back of the monitor. To edit or delete old filters get out of any particular mail, so that you see the goofy little sprocket in the right upper area. Hit that, select Settings, and then Settings again. Eventually the Settings page appears. In the links at the top of the white part, the fifth from the left is FILTERS Hit that. That brings up all your filters, and you can edit or delete any of them. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ No wonder kids are confused today. Half the adults tell them to find themselves; the other half tell them to get lost. ______________________________________________________ There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Take Photo of Appliance Model/Serial Numbers Take a picture of your appliance and model /serial numbers and use it as your profile picture for the customer service number in your contact list on your cell phone. Now when I need to call for service or troubleshooting all the information is right at my fingertips! Saved me so much time and so less frustrating. By Michele R. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Picture this: A Santa Clara County Department of Correction bus is heading for Civic Center after transporting inmates to Elmwood Correctional Facility. All of a sudden, the driver notices he's being followed. Odd, he thinks. It's even more odd when he drives the bus down the intake ramp into the main jail and two vehicles -- a pickup truck and a minivan -- continue to follow right behind. The gates slam shut, officers question the occupants of the two vehicles and the reason for the follow-the-leader routine finally becomes clear. There's been a bit of drinking going on, and the guys think the bus is a greyhound and figure it will lead them to its depot and the restrooms they so desperately need. They get a rest, all right. The pickup driver is arrested for drunken driving. The minivan driver is cited for driving with a suspended license. Their vehicles are impounded. And correction officers are bemused. ``We at DOC have heard of self- surrender, but this is ridiculous,'' says department spokesman Mark Cursi. ``We're now wondering if folks can take the next step: self-booking.'' _____________________________________________________ In the middle of World War II, a draftee goes in for his physical wearing a truss, and with a little convincing acting, gets his papers marked M.E. for Medically Exempt. Not long after, a friend gets his orders to report for a physical, and he borrows the other fellow's truss. At the end of the examination, the doctor stamped M.E. on his papers. "Does that mean I'm medically exempt?" he asked. "No," the examining doctor says. "M.E. stands for Middle East. Anyone who can wear a truss upside-down can certainly ride a camel." ____________________________________________________
This guy created an incredible metal 'wood grain' ring.

Today in 
1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, 
 ending the Byzantine Empire. 
1660 Charles II was restored to the English throne after 
 the Puritan Commonwealth. 
1765 Patrick Henry denounced the Stamp Act before 
 Virginia's House of Burgesses. 
1849 A patent for lifting vessels was granted to 
 Abraham Lincoln. 
1910 An airplane raced a train from Albany, NY, to 
 New York City. The airplane pilot Glenn Curtiss won 
 the $10,000 prize. 
1912 Fifteen women were dismissed from their jobs at the 
 Curtis Publishing Company in Philadelphia, PA, for 
 dancing the Turkey Trot while on the job. 
1916 U.S. forces invaded Dominican Republic and remained 
 until 1924. 
1922 Ecuador became independent. 
1932 World War I veterans began arriving in Washington, DC. 
 to demand cash bonuses they were not scheduled to receive 
 for another 13 years. 
1951 C.F. Blair became the first man to fly over the North 
 Pole in single engine plane. 
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became first 
 men to reach the top of Mount Everest. 
1974 U.S. President Nixon agreed to turn over 1,200 pages 
 of edited Watergate transcripts. 
1985 Thirty-nine people were killed and 400 were injured 
 in a riot at a European Cup soccer match in Brussels, Belgium. 
1986 Colonel Oliver North told National Security Advisor 
 William McFarlane that profits from weapons sold to Iran 
 were being diverted to the Contras. 
1990 Boris Yeltsin was elected president of the Russian 
republic by the Russian parliament. 
1999 Space shuttle Discovery completed the first docking with 
 the International Space Station. 
2000 Fiji's military took control of the nation and declared 
 martial law following a coup attempt by indigenous Fijians 
 in mid-May. 
2001 In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden were 
 convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans. The 
 crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies 
 in Africa that killed 224 people. 
2001 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey 
 Martin could use a cart to ride in tournaments.
2015  smiled.


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Open Office for DELL Inspiron 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, May 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Indiana man, who choked fiancee for 
trash-talking NASCAR
Details at Boneheads

Today in
585 BC Thales Miletus predicted a solar eclipse. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The best of us must sometimes eat our words. --- J. K. Rowling ______________________________________________________ >From Donnie The thrifty hint in today's newsletter reminded me of another use for Hydrogen Peroxide and Dawn De-Skunking solution: Having to de-skunk our dogs is never a joyful occasion, but at least there is a good and affordable mixture. Wash the victim with Dawn (apply with a heavy hand), rinse, then apply the peroxide, rubbing the hide vigorously. Rinse thoroughly. You may have to repeat more than once, depending upon the marksmanship of the skunk. Much better and more affordable than many of the other common home remedies! That reminded me of the story of the bird hunters whose dog got sprayed early in a week-long out-of-state hunt. One of them had recently read a list of helpful home remedies and they decided to give one a try, since just washing the dog yielded poor results. According to them, the new idea worked great, but the checker at the local mega-mart surely gave the two hunters, dressed in brush pants and field jackets, a most peculiar stare as they checked out with five gallons of "feminine hygiene" product and a leash in their cart. ______________________________________________________ You know you're old, ... if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were good for you. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Wilson, 57, Franklin, Indiana
Indiana man chokes fiancee for trash-talking NASCAR An argument over NASCAR and IndyCar has led to domestic battery charges for a man in Franklin, Indiana. David Wilson, 57, was arrested Sunday after he allegedly choked his fiancée during an Indianapolis 500 viewing party, TheIndyChannel.com reports. The victim told officers she and the suspect had been drinking all day. Wilson told police he was making dinner in the kitchen when he heard his fiancée and another person "talking trash about NASCAR" in the living room. Wilson allegedly came into the room and “started rambling on about NASCAR being better than IndyCar,” according to the incident report. Then he choked her, according to the Indianapolis Star. When the victim tried to call 911, Wilson allegedly shouted, “Who are you calling?” and took the phone from her. He told the dispatcher, “Everything is fine here,” and hung up, according to the police report. Wilson was arrested and charged with domestic battery and strangulation, according to WAVE.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Office for DELL inspiron Dear Webby, Good Morning Webby, Once again I must come to you for advise. Just got a new Dell Inspiron 20 Desk Top that does not have "Word or Works" programs. Wanted to download the free version of "Open Office" but McAfee gave me a warning in Big Red letters that it was not safe to download this program. I was able to locate another free program "Libreoffice" but did not try to download as I wanted your advise on which program I should use. You have mentioned "Open Office" in the past and am wondering whether this warning is false. Thank you. Daily Voter, Bob Dear Bob Open Office and Office Libre are pretty well the same. Some European Governments are specifying that each product they buy has to have a second source, in case the seller of one gets caught bribing. Inofficially, they are miffed at the bribers from Microsoft, and are trying to rebel against the Microsoft monopoly. So the good people at Open Office split into two teams, Open Office and Libre Office, and they are actually quite honestly competing against each other! Competition just like in the old days when Word Perfect and Word Star and Word competed, and every time you opened a computer magazine, one of the three had come up with some new trick, which the other two of course copied right away. For the real Open Office, not for Trojan loaded copies at shady download sites, go directly to http://www.openoffice.org/download/index.html McAfee has no problem at all with that site. You can even download a pile of templates there for most of your correspondence. By the way, I just downloaded the update from 4.1.0 to 4.1.1, and McAfee had absolutely no problem with it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ As Morris and his wife Sherry were planning a vacation. They ended up in an argument, "It's 'Hawaii', I'm telling you!" Sherry said. "I never KNEW someone so stubborn! 'Havaii' is how it's pronounced!" he replied. And so it went all the way to the vacation. As they got off the airplane, they passed a man. Morris abruptly stopped his wife and turned to the man to ask, "Now that we're on the island, you can settle an argument between my wife and me. Is this 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii?'" "This is Havaii," the man replied. "Ha!" the husband gloated to his wife. "See, didn't I tell you never to argue with me?" As they began to walk away, Morris turned back and gave the man a hearty "Thank you!" "You're Ferry Velcome!" the Hawaiian called back. ______________________________________________________ After much urging by his wife, Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket. An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other. "Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on the stool!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Can Tabs for Instant Room in Your Closet Instead of buying those multi-hanger type hangers, use the tabs from tab opening cans, such as soda, cat food, ravioli, etc., to hook one or more clothes hangers together to create more room in your closet! Just slip the tab onto the hanger hook and connect the hangers! By Donna [233] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At Sunday school, the teacher asked Johnny, "Johnny, could you tell me what are we supposed to do to deserve the salvation?" "Yeah, of course" Little Johnny replied. "We're supposed to sin a lot first so that we got something to be forgiven for!" _____________________________________________________ Linda had gotten a new job as a reporter at her local newspaper and she was brought in to meet the crusty old editor on her first day on the job. "Names, names," the old editor insisted to the new reporter. "No story is complete without the names of everyone involved." Linda assured him she would make him proud of her reporting abilities, and her first assignment was to write an article on a local disaster. She came back a few hours later and filed this report: Three farms in our area were affected by severe lightning storms that struck Thursday night. Mr. and Mrs. Horace Greene reported a fire in their barn. Michael Arlington said several trees were knocked down by the violence of the storm. And Fred Morse reported that three of his cows were struck by lightning. Their names were Bessie, Elsie and Bertha. ____________________________________________________
Amazing finds on Google Earth

Today in 
585 BC Thales Miletus predicted a solar eclipse. 
585BC The Persian-Lydian battle ended. 
1533 England's Archbishop declared the marriage of 
 King Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn valid. 
1805 Napoleon was crowned in Milan, Italy. 
1863 The first black regiment left Boston to fight in 
 the U.S. Civil War. 
1900 Britain annexed the Orange Free State. 
1918 Azerbaijan declared independence. 
1928 Chrysler Corporation merged with Dodge Brothers, Inc. 
1934 The Dionne quintuplets were born near Callender, Ontario, 
to Olivia and Elzire Dionne. The babies were the first 
 quintuplets to survive infancy. 
1937 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt pushed a button in 
 Washington, DC, signaling that vehicular traffic could 
 cross the newly opened Golden Gate Bridge in California. 
1940 During World War II, Belgium surrendered to Germany. 
1976 The Peaceful Nuclear Explosion Treaty was signed, 
 limiting any nuclear explosion regardless of its purpose 
 to a yield of 150 kilotons. 
1977 Fire raced through the Beverly Hills Supper Club in 
 Southgate, KY. 165 people were killed. 
1985 David Jacobsen, director of the American University 
 Hospital in Beirut, Lebanon, was abducted by pro-Iranian 
 kidnappers. He was freed 17 months later. 
1987 Mathias Rust, a 19-year-old West German pilot, landed 
 a private plane in Moscow's Red Square after evading Soviet 
 air defenses. He was released August 3, 1988. 
1995 An earthquake in the Russian town Neftegorsk killed at 
 least 2000 people. It had a magnitude of 7.5. 
1996 U.S. President Clinton's former business partners in the 
 Whitewater land deal were convicted of fraud. 
1998 Pakistan matched India with five nuclear test blasts. 
 The U.S., Japan and other nations imposed economic sanctions. 
 Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif said "Today, we have 
 settled the score with India." 
1998 Dr. Susan Terebey discovered a planet outside of our 
 solar system with the use of photos taken by the Hubble 
 Space Telescope. 
1999 In Milan, Italy, Leonardo de Vinci's "The Last Supper" 
 was put back on display after more than 20 years of 
 restoration work. 
2002 Russia became a limited partner in NATO with the 
 creation of the NATO-Russia Council. 
2015  smiled.


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Microsoft defragger 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, May 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman Faces Bribery Charge 
For Lick Offer
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1647 Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident 
 of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was 
 the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for 
 being Baptists. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ >From Norm Beany's Drive Thru - Long Beach , California - 1952-53. Really cool. Fats singing, 20 cents for a burger, old cars and the girls skirts were all the way down to the knees, almost. ______________________________________________________ Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements would be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so normal ones ?" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Garden of the Gods located in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Elaine Robinson, 52, Monroe Louisiana
Woman Faces Bribery Charge For Lick Offer A Louisiana woman is facing a public bribery charge after allegedly making an indecent proposal to the cop who arrested her for pummeling her live-in boyfriend, according to court records. Diane Thomas, 52, was busted earlier this month for punching her beau in the face “multiple times” and scratching him with her fingernails during a confrontation in the couple’s Monroe home. When Thomas was read her Miranda rights by a Monroe Police Department officer, she stated that her boyfriend was a “bitch,” adding that he “got in her face so she beat his ass,” according to a May 16 probable cause affidavit. After Thomas was handcuffed, she told Corporal Chris Ballard that she could not go to jail since she “has a good job.” At that point, Thomas allegedly made Ballard an offer he would refuse. "If you won't take me to jail I will get on my knees right now," she reportedly declared. "Officer I will even lick your butt hole." Already facing a misdemeanor domestic abuse charge, Thomas was then hit with a felony public bribery count for allegedly offering to lick Corporal Ballard. Pictured above, Thomas was subsequently freed on $5000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jax Re: Microsoft defrag Dear Webby, I run win 7 and my defrag is: 1) open start 2) open Programs 3) open accessories 4) open System tools 5) enter on the disk defrag icon 5 down from top Webby been a long time subscriber, please keep up the good work, YOU have helped a lot of people including me! Jaxs Dear Jax Yes, I know. The problem is that the built in defrag does not produce noticeable results for me. It seems to be a total waste of time. Defragler, on the other hand, produces quite noticeable results, and even lets you see which files are fragmented the worst. Those are usually Windows system files, that you don't want to mess with, but others are often obsolete files. Deleting those before a defrag speeds up the defrag. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ______________________________________________________ If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Stain Remover Mix 1 part hydrogen peroxide and 1 part original blue Dawn dishwashing liquid. Brush on stain. Wash as usual. Note: I let it sit half an hour. This works wonders on stains, even if you have put the item in the dryer. By Judy [18] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sammy has stolen the rabbi's gold watch. He didn't feel too good about it, so he decided, after a sleepless night, to go to the rabbi. 'Rabbi, I stole a gold watch.' 'But Sammy! That's forbidden! You should return it immediately!' 'What shall I do?' 'Give it back to the owner.' 'Do you want it?' 'No, I said return it to its owner.' 'But he doesn't want it.' 'In that case, you can keep it. _____________________________________________________ Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir." ____________________________________________________
Incredible animation and music from Animusic.

Today in 
1647 Alse Young (Achsah Young or Alice Young), a resident 
 of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." It was 
 the first recorded American execution of a "witch." 
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for 
 being Baptists. 
1813 Americans captured Fort George, Canada. 
1901 The Edison Storage Battery Company was organized. 
1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco. 
1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first 
 transatlantic flight. 
1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the 
 stratosphere, by balloon. 
1935 The U.S. Supreme Court declared that President Franklin 
 Roosevelt's National Industrial Recovery Act was 
 unconstitutional. 
1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to 
 pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco 
 and Marin County. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an 
 "unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions. 
1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British naval 
 and air forces. 2,300 people were killed. 
1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive in 
 Libya with his Afrika Korps. 
1944 U.S. General MacArthur landed on Biak Island in New Guinea. 
1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey. 
1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center 
 in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10. 
1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96 
 industrial goods. 
1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds from 
 the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century. 
1994 Nobel Prize-winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn returned 
 to Russia. He had been in exile for two decades. 
1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire to 
 the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader 
 of the rebels. 
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment 
 suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President 
 Clinton was in office. 
1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for not 
 warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City 
 federal building. 
1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted 
 Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo. 
 It was the first time that a sitting head of state had been 
 charged with such a crime. 
2015  smiled.


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Windows Defrag 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 25

Thank you, Richard!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida ex-con who assaulted her 70 year old father with 
Lysterine
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1994 U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for 
 China, and announced that his administration would no longer 
 link China's trade status with its human rights record. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You cannot slander human nature; it is worse than words can paint it. --- Charles Haddon Spurgeon (1834 - 1892) ______________________________________________________ Most women have these two complaints: nothing to wear and not enough closet space! ______________________________________________________ An off-duty bylaw officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have messed up the settings way too much," the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt! ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Shiprock, New Mexico, located on the Navajo Reservation.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Elaine Robinson, 47, Pinellas County, Florida
Florida ex-con assaulted her 70 year old father with Lysterine A career criminal is locked up on a domestic battery rap for allegedly dousing her 70-year-old father with a bottle of Cool Mint Listerine during an argument at the Florida home they share. According to police, Elaine Robinson, 47, became “agitated” as she quarrelled Wednesday afternoon with her father Marvin. At one point, Robinson retrieved a “1 Liter bottle of Listerine Cool Mint and splashed” the mouthwash all over her father’s face. The incident, cops noted, was observed by an independent witness. The elder Robinson was not injured in the mouthwash attack. Robinson was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery and booked into the Pinellas County jail, where she is locked up in lieu of $5000 bond. While a police report notes that Robinson, pictured above, does not have any prior battery convictions, her lengthy rap sheep includes a voluntary manslaughter conviction for which she served seven years in prison. Robinson, who has been in and out of state prison over the past 25 years, has also been convicted of grand theft, cocaine sales, possession of stolen property, and disorderly intoxication.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Roland Re: Defrag Dear Webby, May sound like an Idiot but can not find how to defrag my Computer Roland and Ruth Ann Dear Roland Windows does have a defragger built in, but I have not gotten any improvement with that one. The same company, that makes the Crap Cleaner, that you probably have, also makes Defraggler. http://www.piriform.com/defraggler Just use the QuickDefrag in it. It works well enough and won't take forever to finish. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Make love, not war. Or, if you want to do both, get married! ______________________________________________________ Linda and Marion were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. "I started a new practice last year," Linda said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months." "Why in the world would you do that?" Marion asked. "It's the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without," Linda said. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rid Your Bag of Popcorn Seeds After you're done popping your popcorn in the microwave, and before you open the bag, put it over the garbage can and shake the bag really hard. Make sure the opening of the bag is down. All your unpopped seeds will go into the garbage, no more seeds. By coville123 [326] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Morris bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday.. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where was I gonna find a fake Jeep?" _____________________________________________________ Johnny came home from school and told his dad: "Hey, Dad, I lerned that we decended from apes! Neat, huh ?" That didn't go over well at all, so Johnny was told in no uncertaint terms: "YOU might have apes for ancestors, but I sure don't!" ____________________________________________________
There is so much about history we have forgotten.

Today in 
0017 Germanicus of Rome celebrated his victory over the Germans. 
1328 William of Ockham was forced to flee from Avignon by 
 Pope John XXII. 
1521 Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms because 
 of his religious beliefs and writings. 
1647 A new law banned Catholic priests from the colony of 
 Massachusetts. The penalty was banishment or death for 
 a second offense. 
1736 The British and Chickasaw Indians defeated the French 
 at the Battle of Ackia. 
1791 The French Assembly forced King Louis XVI to hand over 
 the crown and state assets. 
1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in 
 Milan Cathedral. 
1831 Russians defeated the Poles at battle of Ostrolenska. 
1835 A resolution was passed in the U.S. Congress stating that 
 Congress has no authority over state slavery laws. 
1896 The last czar of Russia, Nicholas II, was crowned. 
1908 In Persia, the first oil strike was made in the Middle East. 
1913 Actors’ Equity Association was organized in New York City. 
1926 In Morocco, rebel leader Abd el Krim surrendered. 
1940 The evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, 
 began during World War II. 
1946 A patent was filed in the United States for an H-bomb. 
1946 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill signed a military 
 pact with Russian leader Joseph Stalin. Stalin promised a 
 "close collaboration after the war." 
1956 The first trailer bank opened for business in Locust Grove, 
 Long Island, NY. The 46-foot-long trailer took in $100,000 in 
 deposits its first day. 
1959 The word "Frisbee" became a registered trademark of Wham-O. 
1961 A U.S. Air Force bomber flew across the Atlantic in a 
 record time of just over three hours. 
1969 The Apollo 10 astronauts returned to Earth after a 
 successful eight-day dress rehearsal for the first manned 
 moon landing. 
1975 American stuntman Evel Knievel suffered severe spinal 
 injuries in Britain when he crashed while attempting to 
 jump 13 buses in his car. 
1977 George H. Willig was arrested after he scaled the 
 South Tower of New York's World Trade Center. It took him 
 3 1/2 hours. 
1978 The first legal casino in the Eastern U.S. opened 
 in Atlantic City, NJ. 
1987 Sri Lanka launched Operation Liberation. It was an 
 offensive against the Tamil rebellion in Jaffra. 
1988 The Edmonton Oilers won their fourth NHL Stanley Cup 
 in five seasons. They swept the series 4 games to 0 against 
 the Boston Bruins. 
1991 A Lauda Air Boeing 767 crashed in Thailand, killing 
 all 223 people aboard. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for 
 China, and announced that his administration would no longer 
 link China's trade status with its human rights record. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Ellis Island was mainly 
 in New Jersey, not New York. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police officers in 
 high-speed chases are liable for bystander injuries only 
 if their "actions shock the conscience." 
1998 The Grand Princess cruise ship made its inaugural cruise. 
 The ship measured 109,000 tons and cost approximately $450 
 million, making it the largest and most expensive cruise ship 
 ever built to that date. 
2015  smiled.


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How to get rid of KNCTR, itybity 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, May 25

Thank you, Donald!
Thank you, James.

In the USA, today is Memorial Day.

Remember the soldiers!

DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
Ohio man, who evaded police, 
until he went looking for missing hat
Details at Boneheads

Today in
1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs 
 appeared in "The Washington Post." The article called 
 for a national memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation 
 of what it has done to its sons" that had served in 
 the Vietnam War. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don't reach them till they're in their 40s. ______________________________________________________ There was a Captain of a ship, and everyday at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this every day, but he told nobody what was inside that box. Then one day he died and in his testament he wrote: "Now you can open the black box." So they opened the black box. And what they found was a piece of paper, on it was written "Starboard is right, port is left." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Galaxy ofer THAT-away==> Picture from Hubble Observatory
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Otha Montgomery, 18, EASTLAKE, Ohio
Ohio Man Evades Police, Until He Goes Looking For Missing Hat EASTLAKE, Ohio (AP) — An 18-year-old had successfully eluded officers in northeast Ohio, but a search for his missing hat led him back into the hands of police. Northeast Ohio Media Group reports officers in Eastlake tried to stop Otha Montgomery for running a red light Tuesday morning. Authorities say Montgomery sped up when an officer pursued him, then pulled into a driveway and ran away on foot. Police say Montgomery was stopped later and told officers he was walking to a friend's house. They didn't arrest him. Montgomery later returned to the scene where the pursuit ended to retrieve his lost hat. After giving officers there a detailed description of the missing hat, police found it in a flowerbed and arrested him. Court records don't list an attorney for Montgomery.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Claudia Re: Is KNCTR safe? Dear Webby, I had this weird screen telling me that Chrome insisted, that I update Windows Media Player. I hit OK, and immediately Malwarebytes flashed an alarm, but gave me the option to make a one time exception. Dumb ass mee, I clicked on one time exception. Nothing much happened, and after a while the Windows Media Player update bombed out. I thought that was the end of it. Next time I rebooted, there was this screen from KNCTR, claiming to be some phone deal with free calls in North America, etc. What's the story with that? Claudia Dear Claudia That KNCTR is bad news. It is a trojan, that wants you to click ACCEPT and give them permission to not only mine all of your data, but to share it with anybody they want. Since you are not involved with terrorism outside of your bedroom, and not interested in child porno, you got nothing to worry about. However, if you resent that they can sell your incredible collection of love letters, then it's time to get hopping mad. First open the TaskManager with CTRL SHIFT ESCAPE Look for anything with KNCTR in it, or with itibity End those. Then run MalwareBytes and let it search the entire machine, including remote drives and connected cards in card readers and cameras. It will get rid of the crap. It would not hurt to let Windows search for itybity and dump any files with that in the name, just to make sure nothing calls it in again some day. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Abe's son arrived home from school puffing and panting, sweat rolling down his face. "Dad, you'll be so proud of me," he said, "I saved a dollar by running behind the bus all the way home!" "Oy Vey!" said Abe, "You could have run behind a taxi and saved $20.00!" ______________________________________________________ Two die-hard golfers saw some kids fishing at the lake. One said to the other, "Look at those idiots fishing in the rain!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rid Your Bag of Popcorn Seeds After you're done popping your popcorn in the microwave, and before you open the bag, put it over the garbage can and shake the bag really hard. Make sure the opening of the bag is down. All your unpopped seeds will go into the garbage, no more seeds. By coville123 [326] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ If a man is standing in the middle of the forest, and only whispering, and there is no woman around to interrupt him, is he still wrong? _____________________________________________________ Linda invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old daughter and said,"Would you like to say the blessing?" "I don't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," her mother told her. The daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these ungrateful nuts to dinner?" ____________________________________________________
The Anthem Veterans Memorial, located in ACC Community Park in Anthem, AZ is a monument dedicated to honor the service and sacrifice of our country’s armed forces. God Bless all Veterans past, present and future.

Today in 
585 BC The first recorded prediction of a solar eclipse 
 was made in Greece. 
1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems. 
1810 Argentina declared independence from Napoleonic Spain. 
1844 The gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry. 
1911 President of Mexico, Porfolio Diaz, resigned his office. 
1925 John Scopes was indicted for teaching the Darwinian 
 theory in school. 
1927 Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would 
 replace the Model T. 
1946 Jordan gained independence from Britain. 
1953 In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired. 
1961 America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work 
 toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the 
 decade. 
1968 The Gateway Arch, part of the Jefferson National 
 Expansion Memorial in St. Louis, MO, was dedicated. 
1970 Boeing Computer Services was founded. 
1977 "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" opened and 
 became the largest grossing film to date. 
1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs 
 appeared in "The Washington Post." The article called 
 for a national memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation 
 of what it has done to its sons" that had served in 
 the Vietnam War. 
1979 An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at 
 Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people killed. 
1981 Daredevil Daniel Goodwin scaled Chicago's Sears Tower, 
 while wearing a "Spiderman" costume, in 7 1/2 hours. 
1983 "The Return of the Jedi" opened nationwide. It set a 
 new record in opening day box office sales. The gross was 
 $6,219,629. 
1985 Bangladesh was hit with a hurricane and tidal wave that 
 killed more than 11,000 people. 
1986 Approximately 7 million Americans participated in 
 "Hands Across America." 
1989 The Calgary Flames won their first NHL Stanley Cup by 
 defeating the Montreal Canadiens. 
1996 In Nimes, France, Christina Sanchez became the first 
 woman to achieve the rank of matadore in Europe. 
1997 In Sierra Leone a military coup overthrew the popularly 
 elected President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah. He was replaced with 
 Major Johnny Paul Koromah. 
1997 U.S. Senator Strom Thurmond became the longest-serving 
 senator in U.S. history (41 years and 10 months). 
1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces 
 of communism. 
2000 The Walt Disney Co. and Time Warner Inc. signed a 
 long-term deal that ended a dispute over the airing policies 
 of Time Warner. Time Warner had blacked out Disney programs 
 for a 39 hour period the previous month due to the lack of 
 an agreement. 
2001 Erik Weihenmayer, 32, of Golder, CO, became the first 
 blind climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 
2001 Sherman Bull, 64, of New Canaan, CT, became the oldest 
 climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 
2006 In Houston, former Enron Corp. chiefs Kenneth Lay and 
 Jeffrey Skillinng were convicted of conspiracy and fraud 
 for the downfall of Enron. 
2008 NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic 
 plains of Mars. 
2009 North Korea announced that it had conducted a second 
 successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong. 
 The United Nations Security Council condemned the 
 reported test.
2015  smiled.


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