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Double extensions on file names 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, May 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Good Luck!
DearWebby

Mac pictures on a PC 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, June 18

Nice full moon out. 
Took my hat out for a romantic walk. My hat does
not expect to be wined and dined, just vacuumed off 
after mowing the lawn.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Utah parents charged in connection with 1-year-old daughter's heroin overdose death Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 18, in 1429 French forces defeated the English at battle of Patay. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." --- Dennis P. Kimbro There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When a coworker received a phone call from her daughter, we heard her exclaim joyfully, "Seven and a half pounds! I'm so proud of you!" After she had hung up, I asked, "Boy or girl?" "Neither," my colleague replied... "Diet."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got." John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in." ______________________________________________________ Betty-Sue walked into the Emergency Room of a hospital in a small town. She walked up to a nurse and said, "Ah wants to see a Uptern." The nurse looked at her kinda funny and said, "Don't y'all mean Intern?" The girl replied, "Okay, if'n y'all say so, but ah wants a contamination." The nurse is a little confused and says, "Don't y'all mean examination?" The girl replied, "Uptern, intern, contamination, examination, ah don caire, ah ain't demonstrated for 6 months and an ah thinks ah'm stagnant. ______________________________________________________ From dad ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Utah parents charged in connection with 1-year-old daughter's heroin overdose death Cassandra Leydsman, Casey Cormani, Provo, Utah A Utah couple has been arrested months after their 1-year- old girl, Penny, died of a heroin overdose inside their friend's home in Provo, Utah. Casey Cormani, 31, and Cassandra Leydsman, 32, were cuffed and charged Tuesday with child endangerment that led to the drug-related death of their daughter in December, 2015. The pair was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, a local Fox affiliate reported. The Provo police department “conducted interviews of witnesses, interrogations of suspects, and gathered physical evidence, and toxicology reports sufficient to establish probable cause that the parents were responsible for the death of the child,” according to a release on their Facebook page. Cormani and Leydsman found Penny unresponsive and with blue lips in her crib on Dec. 2, 2015 after she was fed and put down for a nap, according to police. Leydsman attempted CPR and called paramedics, but they could not save the little girl. An autopsy later found a lethal amount of heroin and codeine in Penny’s body. The couple had been staying at the home of their friends, David and Sina Belgard, in Provo, Utah, who consented to a search of their house after Penny died. When cops searched the home, they found burnt foil, straws with burnt ends and residue both “inside of the room that Cassandra and Casey stayed in both on the ground and among Cassandra’s personal belongings,” according to a warrant. David Belgard later told cops that he had seen Leydsman and Cormani using the straws to inhale the opiates, Fox 4 reported. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richard RE: Mac pictures on PC Dear Webby, I have a technical problem. I use an iMac and occasionally send single jpeg files as attachments (see attached). There are some people with PC's who try to open the attachment, but must save it to disc, open the proper application, and then open the file from within that application. Is this a problem with their browser? Richard Brooklyn, NY Dear Richard Your attached picture opened just fine and looks great. Those people do not have a problem with their browser. I would consider it a user malfunction or somebody pretending to be dumber than they are. JPG, GIF, PNG, TIF have always been compatible between all systems. There is a very slight color shift between the Mac and PC systems, about as much as between Kodak and Fuji films on old fashioned film type cameras. However, unless you have both systems side by side on the same desk, I doubt that you would notice the difference. It is possible that those people are just teasing you because your machine costs way more than theirs and so they think you might be more gullible. Just tell them that you built in an IQ filter, and if they can't see the picture, that would indicate that they would have to increase the brightness on the mouse operator. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Four retired guys are walking down a street in Milwaukee. Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says "Old Timer's Bar " "ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS !". They look at each other, then go in. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you, what'll it be, Gentlemen?" There seems to be a fully stocked bar, so the men all ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis -- and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please." They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please." They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar. Finally one of the men couldn't stand it any longer and asks the bartender "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?" "Here's my story. I'm a retired tailor from Brooklyn, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same." "Wow. That's quite a story" says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there. One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?" The bartender says, "They're from Florida, they're waiting for happy hour." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cooking Shirt Don't throw men's shirts into the rag bin when they become a little stained or frayed. Use it as a "paint shirt" when cooking. The sleeves protect your clothing better than aprons and kids love to wear them while helping out in the kitchen. I have short sleeve for summer cooking and long sleeved that I roll to my elbows for winter days in the kitchen. By Lisa ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, "Johnnie! What is your problem?!" Johnnie says, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister's in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!" The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnnie to the principal's office and explained Johnnie's request. While Johnnie waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told Johnnie's teacher that he would give the boy a test and if Johnnie failed to answer any of the special questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnnie was brought into the room. The principal told Johnnie his terms and Johnnie agreed. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Johnnie: "9" Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnnie: "36" Principal: "What is 9 x 9?" Johnnie: "81" And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. Johnnie appeared to have a strong case. The principal looked at the teacher and told her, "I think Johnnie can go on to the third grade." The teacher, knowing Little Johnnie's tendency toward sexually orineted wisecracks, said to the principal, "Let *me* ask him some questions before we make that decision?" The principal and Johnnie both agreed, Johnnie with a sly look on his face. The teacher began by asking, "What does a cow have 4 of that I have only 2 of?" Johnnie: "Legs." Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have in mine?" The principal's eyes open wide! Before he could stop Johnnie 's expected answer, Johnnie said, "Pockets." The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "I think we should put Johnnie in the fifth grade. I missed the last two questions myself!!!" ___________________________________________________
close your eyes and imagine the rain
____________________________________________________ A man sat at a bar, drinking slowly. On his face was the saddest hangdog expression. The bartender asked, "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?" The man said, "No. It's the mother in law. As you know, she lives with us. We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month." The bartender said, "That should make you happy." The man said, "The month is up today!" ____________________________________________________ "I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat." ____________________________________________________
PEOPLE ARE AWESOME!

Today on June 18
1155 Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome.
1429 French forces defeated the English at battle of Patay.
1667 The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London.
1778 Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. 
 Revolutionary War.
1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against
 Great Britain. The conflict began over trade
restrictions.
1815 At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an
 international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon 
 abdicated on June 22.
1928 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across 
 the Atlantic Ocean as she completed a flight from 
 Newfoundland to Wales.
1951 General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign 
 against the French in Indochina.
1953 Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General 
 Neguib as its first president.
1961 "Gunsmoke" was broadcast for the last time on CBS
radio.
1998 The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web 
 search engine company Infoseek Corp.
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS 
 probes to the Moon. It was the first American lunar
mission since Lunar Prospector in 1998.
2009 Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, 
 judicial affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom 
 of Denmark. Greenlandic became the official language. 
2016  smiled.


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Where do you report scams? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, June 17
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: 3 Ohio women arrested after assaulting mcDonalds worker Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 17, in 0362 Emperor Julian issued an edict banning Christians from teaching in Syria. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. --- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) Men who never get carried away should be. --- Malcolm Forbes The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. --- Robert Frost Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him. --- Romain Gary (1914-1980) French Writer _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Jessica for this one: A teacher asked a student. “Do you really think people can predict the future with cards?” He quickly replied, “My mother can. She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.”
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "OOOPS!" ______________________________________________________ Doris was trying to figure out the best way to break up with her boyfriend. She seemed awfully concerned that he not be angry. "Are you afraid he'll spread lies about you?" I asked. "I don't mind lies, but if he ever tells the truth, I'll break his neck," she answered. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 3 Ohio women arrested after assaulting mcDonalds worker Ashley England, Mary Jordan, Sammie Whaley, Sandusky, Ohio. Three women are under arrest after they assaulted a McDonald's employee because she was working too slowly in serving them. In their booking photos, two of the women appear to be smiling after their arrests. The assault happened on June 8 at the McDonald's in Bellevue, Ohio. According to police, the female employee was assaulted in the restaurant parking lot after the women, who are from Sandusky, thought she wasn't serving them - and their children - quickly enough. The women are identified by police as Ashley England, Mary Jordan and Sammie Whaley. They were arrested the next day after security video was used to identify them. England was charged with assault, theft and child endangerment. Jordan was charged with assault and child endangerment. The child endangerment charges are due to the fact England and Jordan had their children present with them and the children also participated in the incident. Whaley was also charged with assault. Playing dopey during their arrest will not reduce their jail time. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Christine RE: Where to report scams Dear Webby, I always enjoy your site. Just one question. I have received in my e-mail a letter from some foreigner wanting me to deposit some money or some such in my bank. Ta-da. I'm wondering where I can report this person and his spam? Thanks, Christine Dear Christine Just dump that mail in the garbage. It's only a Nigerian Scam letter. You can't report it to anybody. Imagine yourself walking into the police station and announcing: "I was trying to do some illegal money laundering, nothing big, just a few Million bucks, but then these Nigerian guys cleaned out my bank account and changed the password on me. My paycheck goes in there automatically, but now I can't even pay my phone bill !" The cops would first laugh themselves a hernia, and then charge YOU with attempted money laundering. Not a good idea. The Nigerian scams have been around for a long time and have grown to be the third largest line item in the Nigerian Gross National Product. Just dump it and beware that over the years you will probably get more similar scam letters. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Leroy said to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happened last night." His buddy answered, "Well then, tell me what happened." Leroy relpied: "Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch." She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?" So I said, "Of course, you can stay out there," and shut the door." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Finding Leaks in an Air Mattress By Deanj [914 Comments] In the old days when tires had tubes and one had to find a small pin whole in the tube the mechanic would wet the tube with a mixture of soap and water. The soap made the pin hole easier to see as the soap would bubble up where the hole was. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man dies and goes to Heaven. He was surprised to see God Himself at the Pearly Gates, but God explained that this was St. Peter's day off, and that He, God would check him in and show him around. Well, Heaven turned out to be everything the man had always been told: angles flying around, playing harps, reading, and just enjoying the things they had on earth. There were also pets there, and they were right by their earthly masters. Presently, God and the man arrive at a long section of cubicles, and in each of these cubicles, there was just one person. "What's this section Lord?" the man asks. "Oh this is the section for those people who think they're the only ones up here!" the Lord answers. ___________________________________________________
Robin Hood and Little John Runnin' Thru the Forest
____________________________________________________ An couple is sitting on a park bench, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a little present on the woman's head. "Yech!" yells the woman. "Get me some toilet paper!" "What for? She must be half-a-mile away by now." ____________________________________________________ The 3 fastest means of communication: Tell-a-Belle Tellaphone Tellavision ____________________________________________________
Leng Jun's paintings are so realistic!

Today on June 17
0362 Emperor Julian issued an edict banning Christians from
 teaching in Syria.
1579 Sir Francis Drake claimed San Francisco Bay for
England.
1775 The British took Bunker Hill outside of Boston.
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte incorporated Italy into his empire.
1837 Charles Goodyear received his first patent. The
patent  was for a process that made rubber easier to work
with.
1854 The Red Turban revolt broke out in Guangdong, China.
1876 General George Crook’s command was attacked and
defeated on the Rosebud River by 1,500 Sioux and Cheyenne
under the leadership of Crazy Horse.
1885 The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard 
 the French ship Isere.
1912 The German Zeppelin SZ 111 burned in its hanger in 
 Friedrichshafen.
1913 U.S. Marines set sail from San Diego to protect
American  interests in Mexico.
1917 The Russian Duma met in a secret session in Petrograd 
 and voted for an immediate Russian offensive against the 
 German Army. (World War I)
1924 The Fascist militia marched into Rome.
1926 Spain threatened to quit the League of Nations if 
 Germany was allowed to join.
1928 Amelia Earhart began the flight that made her the
first woman to successfully fly across the Atlantic Ocean.
1930 The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Bill became law. It placed a 
 prohibitive tariff on imports to the U.S.
1931 British authorities in China arrested Indochinese 
 Communist leader Ho Chi Minh.
1932 The U.S. Senate defeated the bonus bill as 10,000 
 veterans massed around the Capitol.
1940 The Soviet Union occupied Lithuania, Latvia, and
Estonia.
1940 France asked Germany for terms of surrender in World
War II.
1944 The republic of Iceland was established.
1950 Dr. Richard H. Lawler performed the first kidney 
 transplant in a 45-minute operation in Chicago, IL.
1953 Soviet tanks fought thousands of Berlin workers that 
 were rioting against the East German government.
1963 The U.S. Supreme Court banned the required reading of 
 the Lord's prayer and Bible in public schools.
1965 Twenty-seven B-52’s hit Viet Cong outposts but lost 
two planes in South Vietnam.
1991 The Parliament of South Africa repealed the Population
 Registration Act. The act had required that all South
Africans  be classified by race at birth. 
2016  smiled.


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Free virus scanner 





Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, June 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: NM man set fire to his apartment to escape neighbors’ sex noises Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 16, in 0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. That gave the Vandals a bad name. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. --- Jay Leno Only in America...could the rich people - who pay 90% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all. --- Moe _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the Church, An elderly gentleman said to him: "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to, it was terrible". While the Minister remained speechless, the gentleman's wife wanting to be helpful said, "Reverend, please don't listen to him, he slept through most of it and is only repeating what he hears other people saying."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Here is another good message for telemarketers who try to be a nuisance at the most inconvenient time: "This is the microwave. The answering machine just eloped with the DVD player, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. If you want your brain cooked some more while you leave your message, just hold your phone near your head." Get your tex-to-speech program to read that, record it with audacity and save it as a wav onto the desktop, so that you can play by doubleclicking it. With almost all text-to-speech programs you can select a voice, that sounds like a robot. For maximum effect add the beeping alarm you get from slowly strangling a large rubber duckie squeaky toy. Have FUN! ______________________________________________________ A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies. The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than the boxes usually do." "Why is that?" the mother asked. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied. ______________________________________________________ While sorting through spring pictures I came across this one. Judging by the vegetation and the mountain, that would place that rock in southwestern New Mexico. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by NM man set fire to his apartment to escape neighbors’ sex noises Reuben Cook, 36, Albuquerque, New Mexico A man seeking to escape the sounds of his neighbors having sex took drastic action Sunday night when he set fire to his apartment, according to court documents. Reuben Cook, 36, told police he “tried to burn anything he could think of” in his apartment in order to spend the night in “prison” away from his neighbors, according to a criminal complaint filed in Metropolitan Court. When police arrived at the multi-story, multi-family complex at 5904 Osuna NE a little before 10 p.m. they found minor fire damage, with four separate areas of origin, in one of the apartments. When the officer asked Cook, the apartment’s tenant, to tell him about his day, Cook said “I started the fires in my apartment,” according to the complaint. “He stated that he heard people having sex upstairs and making a lot of noise,” the officer wrote in the complaint. “Mr. Cook stated that by starting the fires he could go to ‘prison’ and get away from the noise.” So the officers took him to the county jail, charging him with arson. Cook’s father, David Cook, said his son suffered from a stroke seven years ago that left him mentally impaired. “They had to remove part of his brain,” David Cook said. “He’s not in control of the things he thinks. It was not something that he planned.” Nataura Powdrell-Moore, a jail spokeswoman, said Reuben Cook was released on his own recognizance Tuesday, so that he can start more fires. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helga RE: Free virus scanner Dear Webby, I need a virus scanner that is free to install on a bunch of machines that we are donating to an old folks home. What would you recommend? Helga Dear Helga Try "HouseCall" from TrendMicro. It is rated better than Norton and almost as good as McAfee. You can download it from http://housecall.trendmicro.com/ Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Thanks To Janet For This One: We Had Made Some Changes In Our Diet. My Husband Lost 50 Pounds And I Lost 15. I Felt Good And Active Again And After Eight Years Of Being A Housewife, I Took A Job In A Restaurant. When I Returned Home After My First Day At Work, I Gave My Husband A Big Hug. He Seemed To Cling To Me Longer Than Usual. "Did You Really Miss Me That Much Today, Dear?" I Asked. "No," Came The Reply. "But You Smell So Much Like Decent Food, That I Hate To Let Go." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Repairing a Hole in a Bathtub By kathleen williams [76 Posts, 1,658 Comments] Difficulty: Easy Things You'll Need: Putty knife Automotive body filler Sandpaper Paint Step 1: Determine how large your hole is. If the hole is larger than 3 inches by 3 inches, it will be difficult to patch, and you should consider replacing the tub. However, if your hole is still manageable, you can begin by applying the body filler over the entire hole. Step 2: Leave the body filler to cure for anywhere from six to twelve hours, depending on the size of the hole. Step 3: Go back and file over the hole with sand paper to make it feel like a natural part of your bathtub. After sanding and removing all excess automotive body filler, paint the entire patch with a color that matches your bathtub. Use a tub and tile refinishing paint or use a fiberglass paint. Your bathtub should look as good as new in as little as seven hours of your spare time. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A woman goes over to her married son's house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a chair, entirely nude. The mother-in-law said, "What the heck are you doing?" "I'm wearing my love dress," responds the daughter-in- law, "We haven't made love in a while, so I wore it." So the mother-in-law says, "Hm, maybe I should try that." She goes home and her husband wasn't home yet, so she undressed. Two hours went by and finally she heard her husband's car. He walks in the front door and says, "What the heeck are you doing?" "I'm wearing my love dress," says the wife. "Well," responds the husband, with a grin, "it does look like it needs to be pressed here and there!" ___________________________________________________
Robin Hood and Little John Runnin' Thru the Forest
____________________________________________________ A Bonehead Award goes to the men in the UK. According to a survey conducted by UK's FQ men's magazine, nearly 80 percent of men don't want to have seex with their pregnant partners fearing that it will bring on early labor and the new kid will start raising a ruckus right when there is soccer on the telly, or fearing that the child might remember. These are myths as the baby is fully protected, and children never pay attention to their parents anyway. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Betty B for this: This was written by a black guy in Texas.....so funny.....what a great sense of humor and creativity!!! When I born, I black, when I grow up, I black, when I go in sun, I black, when I cold, I black, when I scared, I black, when I sick, I black, and when I die, I still black. You white folks....when you born, you pink, when you grow up, you white, when you go in sun, you red, when you cold, you blue, when you scared, you yellow, when you sick, you green, when you bruised, you purple, and when you die, you gray So who you are callin' colored folk's ??? ____________________________________________________
The vine that ate the South.

Today on June 16
0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. That gave the
Vandals a bad name.
1487 The War of the Roses ended with the Battle of Stoke.
1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven 
 Castle in Scotland.
1815 Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of
Ligny, Netherlands.
1884 At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller 
 coaster in America opened.
1903 Ford Motor Company was incorporated.
1907 The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St.
Petersburg.
1922 Henry Berliner accomplished the first helicopter 
 flight in the US at College Park, MD.
1925 France accepted a German proposal for a security
pact.
1955 Argentine naval officers launched an attack on 
 President Juan Peron's headquarters. The revolt was 
 suppressed by the army.
1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit 
 aboard the Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was 
 the first female space traveler.
1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted 
 against the South African government's plan to enforce 
 Afrikaans as the language for instruction in black
schools.
2008 California began issuing marriage licenses to same-
sex couples.
2016  smiled.


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Printing just a selection 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, June 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Drunk Tennessee driver found wearing a tutu and a chastity belt on his penis. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 15, in 1381 The English peasant revolt was crushed in London. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The big thieves hang the little ones. --- Czech Proverb We cannot control the evil tongues of others; but a good life enables us to disregard them. --- Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC) The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers. --- Arthur Koestler Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. --- H. Mumford Jones _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Jean for this one: At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace. The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly. Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation. The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?" The woman replied, "We can't hear you in the back there."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Letter from a redneck aunt Dear Billy Joe Bob, I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the trailer numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. We still have the same phone number though, because I brought our old phone along. When you get out of jail, just call us and we will come pick you up. This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and eventually drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days and then the crematorium blew up. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. I was going to put twenty bucks for you into this letter, but I had already sealed it. I'll send them next time. Your Favorite Aunt Edna-Sue ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Barb for this classic: Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat in her rocking chair watching the world go by with her cat Alan. One afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared her Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said: "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy Godmother replied, "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns? Cinderella was overjoyed. "I wish I was extremely wealthy", she said. Instantly, her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Alan, her cat, jumped off her lap and ran to the edge of the porch quivering with fear. "Oh thank you Fairy Godmother," said Cinderella. "Is there anything else you might wish for", asked the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I was young and full of the beauty I once had." At once, her wish was granted. Cinderella felt a feeling inside her that she had not felt for years. The Fairy Godmother said, "you have one wish remaining, what shall you have?" Cinderella looked at her frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish you turn Alan, my old cat, into a handsome young man." Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a change and then before them stood a young man with the looks and body that no other man could match. The Fairy Godmother again spoke "Congratulations Cinderella. Enjoy your new life," and with that she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Cinderella and Alan looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat breathless, gazing at the most stunning perfect man she had ever seen. Then Alan walked over to Cinderella and held her close in his muscular arms. He leant in close to her ear and whispered in a warm breath, "I bet that now you regret having me neutered at the vet, don't you?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Drunk Tennessee driver found wearing a tutu and a chastity belt on his penis. Curtis Scott Eidam 35, Oak Ridge, Tennessee There was more going on than met the eye during this bizarre DUI stop, and the eye was met by plenty. When Curtis Scott Eidam, 35, of Oak Ridge was stopped on suspicion of drunken driving at a sobriety checkpoint last month, his wardrobe immediately grabbed attention, an official said. He was wearing "some kind of red mesh see-through hose" with a ribbon tied in his goatee, said Investigator Bobby Joe Higgs of the Anderson County District Attorney General's office. Capping Eidam's outfit: "He had on some kind of little skirt," Higgs said. Others familiar with the May 14 stop called the garment a tutu. Eidam made a disclosure once in custody, according to the arrest warrant filed by Tennessee Highway Patrol Sgt. Dennis Smith — he needed a key. Eidam told officers he was wearing what he called a locked chastity belt, and it was "attached to his penis," the warrant states. One key was on his key chain, the suspect said, and the other on a necklace around his passenger's neck. That 44- year-old woman, described as "highly intoxicated" in the trooper's warrant, wasn't charged. One of the two keys was retrieved by another officer and given to Anderson County jail personnel, according to court records. Eidam is charged with DUI and possession of a handgun while under the influence. He is scheduled to appear in Anderson County General Sessions Court on July 12. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Renee RE: Print Selection Dear Webby, I like to print the tech advice. How can I do that without coping the whole letter. I highlight the paragraphs and try to cut copy etc. and it prints the whole letter. Renee Dear Renee With SOME printers you can select to print SELECTION You may have to search a bit to find where you select that. With others, after highlighting a section, hit CTRL C then jump to a text editor or word processor, or even your email. Put your cursor where you want the copied stuff, then hit CTRL V to paste. If you have a 5 button mouse, then of couse just use the copy and paste buttons on the mouse. Once you have pasted your selection, you can print that. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ >Thanks to JoAnn for this one: There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most." He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left." "Would you care to do it again?" He asks her. "Shall we?" She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions."!!!!! "This time, I'll hold the pigeon down, and YOU crap on its head." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Knee Pads for Scrubbing the Floor by Hand By Litter Gitter [168 Posts, 595 Comments] We live in a small house which makes cleaning more often a must. I have found that it's easy to get on my hands and knees and scrub the floor with a rag, plus I can wipe the baseboards off as I go. We live in a small house which makes cleaning more often a must. I have found that it's easy to get on my hands and knees and scrub the floor with a rag, plus I can wipe the baseboards off as I go. It's rough on the knees though, especially during the summer months when you are in shorts. I found a pair of soft knee pads in the garden center at Walmart and they make scrubbing much more comfortable. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A graduate in economics who completed his degree in the 1960's returned to his old university for a visit. He was amazed to see that the examination questions were identical to the ones asked in his day. When he pointed this out to a member of staff, the reply was, "That's true, but since the science of economics is explaining today why the perdictions we made last year were wrong, the answers obviously are different every year." ___________________________________________________
wait for it! dogs and a squeaky toy
____________________________________________________ A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class. Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said, "Did you write this poem all by yourself?" The student said, "Every word of it." "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Poe. However,.... since it would be rather tedious to re-write all the books that claim that you have died already," the professor said, as he pulled one of the swords from the coat of arms up on the wall, "....I will have to make a quick correction in your state of livelyness." ____________________________________________________ His wife had been killed in an accident the day before and the police were questioning Finnegan. "Did she say anything before she died?" asked the sergeant. Finnegan nodded. "What did she say ?" "Well, she spoke without interruption for about forty years," Finnegan said, "but I ddidn't put a battery into my hearing aid until just this morning." ____________________________________________________
A cave full of magical glow worms.

Today on June 15
1215 King John of England put his seal on the Magna Carta.
1381 The English peasant revolt was crushed in London.
1389 Ottoman Turks crushed Serbia in the Battle of Kosovo.
1607 Colonists in North America completed James Fort in 
 Jamestown, VA.
1667 Jean-Baptiste Denys administered the first fully
 documented human blood transfusion. He successfully 
 transfused the blood of a sheep to a 15-year old boy.
1752 Benjamin Franklin experimented by flying a kite 
 during a thunderstorm. The result was a little spark 
 that showed the relationship between lightning and 
 electricity.
1775 George Washington was appointed head of the 
 Continental Army by the Second Continental Congress.
1844 Charles Goodyear was granted a patent for 
 the process that strengthens rubber.
1866 Prussia attacked Austria.
1898 The U.S. House of representatives approved the 
 annexation of Hawaii.
1909 Benjamin Shibe patented the cork center baseball.
1917 Great Britain pledged the release of all the 
 Irish captured during the Easter Rebellion of 1916.
1940 The French fortress of Verdun was captured by
Germans.
1947 The All-Indian Congress accepted a British plan 
 for the partition of India.
1958 Greece severed military ties to Turkey because 
 of the Cypress issue.
1964 The last French troops got chased out of Algeria.
1978 King Hussein of Jordan married 26-year-old American 
 Lisa Halaby, who became Queen Noor.
1992 It was ruled by the U.S. Supreme Court that the 
 government could kidnap criminal suspects from foreign 
 countries for prosecution.
1999 South Korean naval forces sank a North Korean 
 torpedo boat during an exchange in the disputed Yellow
Sea. 
2016  smiled.


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How to stop Russian Spam 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, June 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Resort Guest Doused Boy, 7, With Vodka, kicked cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 14, in 1789 Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in Timor in a small boat. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ "Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." --- Robert A. Heinlein Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. --- James M. Barrie _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. "Gladly," responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A child was on his first visit to the country at his grandparents'ranch and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard. He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was making breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come and see! One of the chickens is in bloom!" ______________________________________________________ The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work one day, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness. He kissed his wife and said, "Oh darling, this makes me the happiest person in the world." And she said, "I'm so happy you feel this way. I was worried that you wouldn't like my mother." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wichita man caught recording sex with 290 unconscious women Jordan L. Stanton, 28, Wichita, Kansas A Wichita physical therapist assistant has surrendered his license to practice after pleading guilty to charges that he sexually battered an unconscious woman in a peacock costume and secretly recorded it on video, the state Board of Healing Arts announced Monday. Jordan L. Stanton, 28, admitted in March to two counts of felony aggravated sexual battery and three counts of breach of privacy, said Lyon County prosecutor Amy Aranda. Stanton committed his crimes in 2010, before he was licensed as a physical therapist assistant by the Board of Healing Arts in 2012, the case history indicates. The charges stemmed from a police investigation finding that Stanton had used hidden cameras to record himself having sex about 290 times with a variety of women in Wichita, Derby, Emporia and Abilene, court records show. The victim in the criminal case, identified in records as “Female 1,” was unconscious and incapable of consenting to sexual activity due to the use of alcohol or drugs, Aranda said. The incidents occurred at a home in Emporia where Stanton had hidden video equipment to secretly record sexual liaisons with women, records said. In one of the two criminal incidents, the woman had been drinking at home and at a Halloween party before meeting Stanton at a bar, where she had more drinks, according to a police affidavit. They returned to his apartment, where they had consensual sex. Later, he initiated more sexual activity after the woman had passed out, leading to one of the two sexual battery charges. Stanton recorded both the consensual and nonconsensual acts using a hidden camera. The woman said she was unaware she was being recorded and did not consent to that, leading to breach of privacy charges. Another incident, with the same woman, had occurred about two weeks earlier, court records show. On Monday, the Board of Healing Arts announced that Stanton had signed a consent order surrendering his license to perform physical therapist assistant services. Neither the criminal file nor the board documents alleged that any patients were harmed by Stanton. Board officials could not immediately say where he had worked. Stanton’s crimes came to light in 2014 when he let a girlfriend use his computer to do her homework and she found a cache of videos of him having sex with several different women, the police affidavit said. Despite Stanton’s pleading with her and an offer to delete all the videos if she kept quiet, the woman turned copies she’d made on a flash drive over to police, the affidavit said. An investigator obtained a search warrant and found about 290 homemade sex videos on Stanton’s computer. The investigator was able to locate some of the women, who identified Stanton and the camouflage-patterned sheets he used in his videos. “The videos appear to have been made without the female’s knowledge or permission and the identified women have since confirmed the videos were made without their permission,” according to the affidavit by Emporia Police Detective Kelly Davis. Stanton’s admission of guilt on five charges was part of a plea bargain to settle a 22-count criminal complaint, according to court records. The plea agreement recommends a sentence of 64 months – 32 months for each of the two sexual battery charges – but leaves open the possibility of a sentence not involving prison time, records show. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ella RE: Russian Spam Dear Webby, I am getting a lot of spam that seems to originate in Russia or link to domains ending ins .ru How can I block those? I am 82 years old and really am not interested in funny blue pills. Ella Dear Ella I had a look at the Pie chart in MailWasher! Yes, apparently I too get a lot of those spams. So, what is my oh so sophisticated and complicated RU filter? If the BODY (pull down selector) CONTAINS (pull down selector) .ru/ (type this in) then dump that mail. (pull down selector) It sure is easy to click together a filter, if you have MailWasher. You can make filters with Gmail too. Not quite as simple, but you can do it! You can get MailWasher at http://webby.com/mailwasher Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ >From Sue One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years: "When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com PINEAPPLE CHEESECAKE INGREDIENTS 250g of cream cheese 2 cups of heavy cream (35%) 1 can of diced pineapple 1 cup sugar 1 box of Graham crackers METHOD 1. Drain pineapple and reserve liquid. 2. Beat cream cheese with sugar. 3. Beat cream into whipping cream. Add to cream cheese mixture. 4. Add pineapple and mix well without beating it too much. 5. Wet crackers in pineapple liquid and put at the bottom and on the sides of cake mould. 6. Pour in cheese and cream mixture. 7. Refrigerate overnight. 8. Unmold before serving. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place. "Yes?" "Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?" The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15". The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger. "Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?" "8:25!" The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!" Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window. "Sir, sir? It's 8:30!" ___________________________________________________
A New Day
____________________________________________________ One day a professor was giving a big test to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. That student got back his test and $51 change. ____________________________________________________ Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with customers. Many like to chat while waiting for their computers to reboot. One man told me he'd been a long-haul truck driver. I'd love to drive a big rig," I said, "but I'd worry about falling asleep at the wheel." "Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in your left hand and hold it out the window." ____________________________________________________
Sand sculpture of an elephant playing chess with a mouse. I think the mouse is winning.

Today on June 14
1789 Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in 
 Timor in a small boat.

1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his 
 reaping machine.

1834 Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper.

1841 The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston.

1846 A group of U.S. settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the 
 Republic of California.

1900 Hawaii became a U.S. territory.

1907 Women in Norway won the right to vote.

1917 General John Pershing arrived in Paris during World
War I.

1919 The first non-stop trans-Atlantic flight began. 
 Captain John Alcot and Lt. Arthur Brown flew from 
 Newfoundland to Ireland.

1927 Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with

 the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country.

1940 The Nazis opened their concentration camp at
Auschwitz in German-occupied Poland.

1940 German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied

 loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew 
 being imposed for 8 p.m.

1943 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren
could  not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so
conflicted with their religious beliefs.

1944 Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortress' attacked an iron and 
 steel works factory on Honshu Island. It was the first 
 major U.S. raid against Japan.

1945 Burma was liberated by Britain.

1949 The state of Vietnam was formed.

1951 "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed 
 for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's 
 first commercial computer.

1952 The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear 
 powered submarine.

1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order 
 adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance.

1965 A military triumvirate took control in Saigon.

1967 Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The
space  probe's flight took it past Venus.

1982 Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the

 Falkland Islands.

1989 Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary 
 knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II.

1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that

 are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication.

2016  smiled.


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Where is the PAUSE key? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, June 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Resort Guest Doused Boy, 7, With Vodka, kicked cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 13, in 1920 The U.S. Post Office Department ruled that children may not be sent by parcel post. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ There is no fix for stupidity, but there are some work-arounds. --- Chuck Snyder "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." --- Socrates _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The young man told his father, "I want to marry a good woman, a beautiful woman, a smart woman, one who'll be a good mother to our kids, a woman who will make me happy." His father told him he'll have to make up his mind.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it on online? Sincerely, Virginia. ______________________________________________________ A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "macho," so he went out walking with one of the hired hands. As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation: "Say, look at that big bunch of cows." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd.'" "Heard what?" "Herd of cows." "Sure, I've heard of cows. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Utah mom found passed out in gutter, children home with unconscious teens Amber Renee Bradley, 29, Layton, Utah A woman found passed out in a gutter was arrested after police found her children were at home where teenagers allegedly threw a party of their own with alcohol supplied by the mom, according to police. Amber Renee Bradley, 29, of Layton, was arrested Saturday for investigation of seven counts of child endangerment, intoxication and possession of a controlled substance. According to a Davis County Jail booking report, Bradley was found passed out in a gutter just after 4 a.m. Her speech "was extremely slurred," she was disoriented and needed assistance walking, the report states. Bradley mentioned something about her children, ages 8, 5, and 4, to police, stating a 15-year-old was watching them at her house around the corner, according to the jail report. But when officers went there to check on them, they found four teens, ages 14 to 16, "unconscious lying next to beer, marijuana, drug paraphernalia and Xanax" on the floor and a table next to them, according to the jail report. Bradley's children were found asleep on the floor in a separate bedroom. The teens told detectives that they had earlier been drinking with Bradley, who supplied the beer, the report states. One teen admitted to traveling to Ogden with Bradley to purchase Xanax, according to the report. She told officers she did not have a prescription for Xanax. According to court records, an eviction notice was issued against Bradley on May 24 for owing more than $1,200 in rent. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Daniel RE: Pause key Dear Webby, what keyboard has a " pause " feature ? daniel Hi Daniel ALL of them do near the right top since the 101 key keyboards in the mid 80's. Before that, Telegraph and Teleprinter keyboards used to have it on the right edge. It is usually in or near the upper right corner and labelled Pause Break On Laptops it is sometimes moved a bit inward from the right edge, but still on the top row. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ "New York's Taxi and Limousine commission is looking to increase the fare from JFK airport into Manhattan from $50 to $65. However, the scenic route for tourists who don't speak English, the fare will remain at $300, even if the cab driver can't speak English either." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com PINEAPPLE CHEESECAKE INGREDIENTS 250g of cream cheese 2 cups of heavy cream (35%) 1 can of diced pineapple 1 cup sugar 1 box of Graham crackers METHOD 1. Drain pineapple and reserve liquid. 2. Beat cream cheese with sugar. 3. Beat cream into whipping cream. Add to cream cheese mixture. 4. Add pineapple and mix well without beating it too much. 5. Wet crackers in pineapple liquid and put at the bottom and on the sides of cake mould. 6. Pour in cheese and cream mixture. 7. Refrigerate overnight. 8. Unmold before serving. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One day a man drove his secretary to her mother's place after her mother had slipped and fallen down the stairs. Although nothing was broken, the mother was hurting and in shock and needed some help and assistance. Although this was a totally proper and formal trip, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily. Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly, he looked down and spotted a high heel shoe half hidden between the seats. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the window. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. "Honey," she asked, "have you seen my other shoe?" ___________________________________________________
when you're stranded at the airport!
____________________________________________________ Male Vs. Female Logic Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: About 20 years, I suppose Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400.correct? Man: Correct Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct? Man: Correct Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? Man: Do you drink beer? Woman: No Man: Where's your Ferrari? ____________________________________________________ The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school and the principal said, "Hello, this is Dunn Elementary." The caller said, "Hi. I'm calling to let you know that Little Johnny Johnson won't be able to come to school all next week." "What seems to be the problem with him?" asked the principal. The caller said, "We are all going on a family vacation. I sure hope there is not a problem with that." "I guess that would be fine," said the principal. "May I ask who is calling?" The caller said, "Sure. This is my father." ____________________________________________________
Architects have vivid imaginations and some of these buildings are truly breathtaking.

Today on June 13
1415 Henry the Navigator, the prince of Portugal, embarked

 on an expedition to Africa.
1777 The Marquis de Lafayette arrived in the American
colonies  to help with their rebellion against the
British.
1789 Ice cream was served to General George Washington 
 by Mrs. Alexander Hamilton.
1825 Walter Hunt patented the safety pin. Hunt then
 sold the rights for $400.
1898 The Canadian Yukon Territory was organized.
1900 China's Boxer Rebellion against foreigners and
Chinese  Christians erupted into violence.
1912 Captain Albert Berry made the first successful
parachute  jump from an airplane in Jefferson,
Mississippi.
1920 The U.S. Post Office Department ruled that children
may not be sent by parcel post.
1922 Charlie Osborne started the longest attack of
hiccups.  He hiccuped over 435 million times before
stopping. He died  in 1991, 11 months after his hiccups
ended.
1923 The French set a trade barrier between the occupied
Ruhr and the rest of Germany. Germans did not like that.
1940 Paris was evacuated before the German advance on the
city.
1943 German spies landed on Long Island, New York. 
 They were soon captured.
1944 Germany launched 10 of its new V1 rockets against
Britain from a position near the Channel coast. Of the 10
rockets only 5 landed in Britain and only one managed to
kill (6 people in London).
1944 Marvin Camras patented the wire recorder.
1949 Bao Dai entered Saigon to rule Vietnam. He had been 
 installed by the French.
1951 U.N. troops seized Pyongyang, North Korea.
1966 The landmark "Miranda vs. Arizona" decision was
issued  by the U.S. Supreme Court. The decision ruled that
criminal  suspects had to be informed of their
constitutional rights before being questioned by police.
1978 Israelis withdrew the last of their invading forces 
 from Lebanon.
1979 Sioux Indians were awarded $105 million in
compensation for the U.S. seizure in 1877 of their Black
Hills in South Dakota.
1983 The unmanned U.S. space probe Pioneer 10 became the 
 first spacecraft to leave the solar system. It was
launched in March 1972. The first up-close images of the
planet Jupiter were provided by Pioneer 10.
1994 A jury in Anchorage, Alaska, found Exxon Corp. and 
 Captain Joseph Hazelwood to be reckless in the 
 Exxon Valdez oil spill.
1995 France announced that they would conduct eight more 
 nuclear tests in the South Pacific.
2000 In Pyongyang, North Korea's leader Kim Jong Il 
 welcomed South Korea's President Kim Dae for a three-day 
 summit. It was the first such meeting between the
leaders of North and South Korea. 
2016  smiled.


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Kasperski 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, June 12
Thank you, Gordon!!!


From 2012
Today is Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I had to laugh when Lillemor sent me an article about the 
Dept Of Justice getting frantic and trying to forbid
Florida dumping names of dead people off their voting
rolls. Apparently those tens of thousands of ghost voters
are absolutely necessary for Obama to win, and ghost
voters have worked fine in Illinois. 
Obama apparently is entitled to them!

There is one way to correct that. Leave them on the voters
rolls, but redline them.  Whenever a live person shows up
to vote for a ghost, arrest them and throw them into the
slammer for voting fraud.

Florida could easily enough make an Arpaio style tent jail
in the Everglades, guarded by alligators. And keep them
there until they come up with $100,000 bail money or a
$10,000 summary conviction fine. 

If they use the same trick with all the illegals, who were
put onto the election rolls, the fines would get the
state out of debt!

Or would that make too much sense?



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Resort Guest Doused Boy, 7, With Vodka, kicked cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 10, in 1099 - Crusade leaders visited the Mount of Olives where they met a hermit who urged them to assault Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them. --- E. V. Lucas Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. --- George Burns _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bubba & Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush. About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how's that toilet brush?" "Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Groan! This man walked into a Fifth Avenue bank and said to the guard, "Pardon me. I'd like to talk with the fella who arranges loans. The guard replied, "I'm sorry but the loan arranger is out to lunch." "In that case," the man said, "I'd like to talk to Tonto!" ______________________________________________________ A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27. She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. "Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Resort Guest Doused Boy, 7, With Vodka, kicked cops Roseanna Marie Kiser, 33, North Carolina A hotel guest swigging from a liquor bottle while at the pool of a waterfront Florida resort allegedly poured vodka “directly into the eyes and face” of a seven-year-old boy who splashed water near her, according to police. As detailed in arrest affidavits, Roseanna Marie Kiser, a 33-year-old North Carolina resident, was at the Sheraton Sand Key Resort in Clearwater Monday evening when she tangled with the underage victim. Kiser, police allege, was intoxicated and “drinking from a vodka bottle” while several young children “were also swimming and playing” in the pool (seen below). Kiser reportedly became angry at the seven-year-old boy “because he was splashing water near her.” So, cops charge, she “opened her bottle of vodka and poured some of its liquid contents directly into the eyes and face” of the child. Kiser then allegedly grabbed the boy by the chest and pushed him “further away from her into the water in the pool.” Responding to a 911 call, Clearwater Police Department officers confronted Kiser (pictured above) in her hotel room. After being told multiple times that she was being ejected from the premises by hotel management, Kiser fought with cops, elbowing and kicking officers in the head, neck, and chest,” according to a felony complaint accusing her of resisting an officer with violence. During the struggle with Kiser, one patrolman was repeatedly kicked in the groin by the suspect. As a result, she was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, a felony. Kiser is also facing a felony child abuse charge. Kiser was freed from jail yesterday morning after posting a $12,750 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leslie RE: Kasperski Dear Webby, I’ve come to the point of needing virus protection, Sad but true Do you use Kasperski, if not what do you use I run Windows 8 (I think) Hope your eyes are doing good Peace to you my friend… Dear Leslie I use McAfee. I used Kasperski briefly, just to try it out, but went back to McAfee in less than a month. Kasperski was not suitable for me. Just go to http://webby.com/mac and get about 50% off regular price. To see which version of Windows you got, hold down the Windows key, and hit the PAUSE key. After a while the Systems Info page opens and tells you near the top which version of Windows you got installed. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, "Convert to Catholicism and get $100." One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?" "Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it." Abe says, "What are you, crazy?" Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it." With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with a big grin on his face. "So," asks Abe, "did you get your hundred dollars?" Murray looks up at him and says, "Is money all that you Jews ever think of? I bet you want to borrow it now!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Three Ingredient Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes By Eileen M. [56 Posts, 240 Comments] This is the easiest cupcake recipe I've ever used and the cupcakes are SO moist! Ingredients: 1 box spice cake mix 1 can (15 oz.) pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling) 1/4 cup water cupcake pan cupcake papers non-stick spray Directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Prepare cupcake pan with papers. Spray each paper with non-stick spray inside the papers. Mix by hand spice cake mix, pumpkin, and water. Stir until well mixed. Mixture is much heavier than "normal" cupcakes. Spoon or scoop batter into prepared cupcake pans. Bake for 20 minutes; let cool in pan for 5 minutes, then finish cooling on wire rack. Frost with cream cheese frosting, regular vanilla frosting, or sprinkle powdered sugar on them. Store in covered container. These are supposed to freeze well, but we've never had any last that long! Servings:30 regular size cupcakes Prep Time:5 to 10 Minutes Cooking Time:20 Minutes Source: My math tutor By Eileen from Elk Grove, CA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Shirley M for this one: One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at the door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her and put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. She had no name so we named her Pussycat. The vet decided to keep her for a day or so and said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband, [the complainer] said: "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks." My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. He calls my husband El-cheap-O. My husband calls him El-Take-O. They love to hate each other. Next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, which was located next door to the vet. The doctor's office was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and in leaned the vet; he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband, "Your wife's pussy is finally clean and shaved. She now smells like a rose. And by the way, I t hink she's pregnant. God knows WHO the father is!" And he closed the door. ___________________________________________________
when you're stranded at the airport!
____________________________________________________ A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out his savings before all the relatives showed up?" ____________________________________________________ Mr. Allen, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter, get my broker!" The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's snickering voice saying, "Yes, sir, stock or pawn?" ____________________________________________________
Animals do have a sense a sense of humor.

Today on June 12
1099 - Crusade leaders visited the Mount of Olives where
they met a hermit who urged them to assault Jerusalem. 

1442 - Alfonso V of Aragon was crowned King of Naples. 

1665 - England installed a municipal government in New
York. It was the former Dutch settlement of New Amsterdam.


1812 - Napoleon's invasion of Russia began. 

1839 - Abner Doubleday created the game of baseball,
according to the legend. 

1849 - Lewis Haslett patented a gas mask. (Patent US6529
A) 

1897 - Carl Elsener patented his penknife. The object
later became known as the Swiss army knife. 

1898 - Philippine nationalists declared their independence
from Spain. 

1900 - The Reichstag approved a second law that would
allow the expansion of the German navy. 

1901 - Cuba agreed to become an American protectorate by
accepting the Platt Amendment. 

1912 - Lillian Russel retired from the stage and was
married for the fourth time. 

1918 - The first airplane bombing raid by an American unit
occurred on World War I's Western Front in France. 

1921 - U.S. President Warren Harding urged every young man
to attend military training camp. 

1923 - Harry Houdini, while suspended upside down 40 feet
above the ground, escaped from a strait jacket. 

1926 - Brazil quit the League of Nations in protest over
plans to admit Germany. 

1935 - U.S. Senator Huey Long of Louisiana made the
longest speech on Senate record. The speech took 15 1/2
hours and was filled by 150,000 words. 

1935 - The Chaco War was ended with a truce. Bolivia and
Paraguay had been fighting since 1932. 

1937 - The Soviet Union executed eight army leaders under
Joseph Stalin. 

1941 - In London, the Inter-Allied Declaration was signed.
It was the first step towards the establishment of the
United Nations. 

1944 - Chinese Communist leader Mao Tse-tung announced
that he would support Nationalist leader Chiang Kai-shek
in the war against Japan. 

1963 - "Cleopatra" starring Elizabeth Taylor, Rex
Harrison, and Richard Burton premiered at the Rivoli
Theatre in New York City. 

1963 - Civil rights leader Medgar Evers was fatally shot
in front of his home in Jackson, MS. 

1967 - State laws which prohibited interracial marriages
were ruled unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1975 - Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was found
guilty of corrupt election practices in 1971. 

1979 - Bryan Allen flew the Gossamer Albatross, man
powered, across the English Channel. 

1981 - "Raiders of the Lost Ark" opened in the U.S. 

1982 - 75,000 people rallied against nuclear weapons in
New York City's Central Park. Jackson Browne, James
Taylor, Bruce Springsteen, and Linda Ronstadt were in
attendance. 

1985 - Wayne "The Great One" Gretsky was named winner of
the NHL's Hart Trophy. The award is given to the the
league Most Valuable Player. 

1985 - The U.S. House of Representatives approved $27
million in aid to the Nicaraguan contras. 

1986 - South Africa declared a national state of
emergency. Virtually unlimited power was given to security
forces and restrictions were put on news coverage of the
unrest. 

1987 - U.S. President Reagan publicly challenged Mikhail
Gorbachev to tear down the Berlin Wall. 

1990 - The parliament of the Russian Federation formally
declared its sovereignty. 

1992 - In a letter to the U.S. Senate, Russian Boris
Yeltsin stated that in the early 1950's the Soviet Union
had shot down nine U.S. planes and held 12 American
survivors. 

1996 - In Philadelphia a panel of federal judges blocked a
law against indecency on the internet. The panel said that
the 1996 Communications Decency Act would infringe upon
the free speech rights of adults. 

1998 - Compaq Computer paid $9 billion for Digital
Equipment Corp. in largest high-tech acquisition. 

1999 - NATO peacekeeping forces entered the province of
Kosovo in Yugoslavia. 

2003 - In Arkansas, Terry Wallis spoke for the first time
in nearly 19 years. Wallis had been in a coma since July
13, 1984, after being injured in a car accident. 

2009 - In the U.S., The switch from analog TV trasmission
to digital was completed.
2016  smiled.


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Is McAfee enough? 




Good Morning, ,


Today is Saturday, June 11

Re Gordon's IE printing problem:
Thanks for your help Webby. I tied Chrome but didn’t
care for the layout of it (too used to IE I guess!).
Then tried Firefox and quite like it.
Both Chrome and Firefox fixed the printing problem I was
having.
Thanks again for your help.
Gordon


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Google reports St. Louis man's email account for storing child pornography Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 10, in 1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef off of Australia when he ran aground. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people. --- Garrison Keillor _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Resume Blunders How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples: "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable." "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet." "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." "I am a rabid typist." "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side." "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far." "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one." "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers." "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant." "I am loyal to my employer at all costs...Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail." "Qualifications: No education or experience." "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!" Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
The other day I observed a rather funny scene at the golf course across the river. A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new looking set of golf clubs into the river. A few minutes later he came back, waded into the river, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs back into the water. ______________________________________________________ By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant -- an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Navy man assured him, "I'll take it." The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Phyllis for sending this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Google reports St. Louis man's email account for storing child pornography Julien C. Pender, 25, St Louis, Missouri A St. Louis man was caught with thousands of child pornography images and multimedia files when Google alerted the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, police say. Julien C. Pender, 25, of the 4300 block of Neosho Street, had more than 2,700 files showing children performing sex acts, according to charges filed Tuesday in St. Louis Circuit Court. Pender was caught when Google reported Pender's Gmail account and IP address, police say. Authorities connected the IP address to Pender's address and raided his home with a search warrant on June 12, 2014. In the raid, police said they seized 2,690 graphic files and 46 sexually explicit multimedia files including video of children. Pender was not in custody Wednesday. Reached by phone, he denied intentionally downloading child pornography but said he used to routinely download games, movies and TV shows. "Sometimes files get in there," Pender said. "Sometimes you get viruses. That's a risk you have. And unfortunately I downloaded things I wasn't trying to download." He also said he was "locked out" of the Gmail address Google reported to police as the one being used to store child pornography. Pender said he was unaware of the charges being filed Tuesday. "I thought all that was dropped," he said. "I thought all that was over with." Google's terms of service says the company uses automated systems to analyze content on its servers including emails to identify child pornography that passes through its systems. Google also says it reports illegal content such as child sex abuse imagery to law enforcement. Pender was charged Tuesday with two counts of felony child porn possession. Bail was set at $50,000 cash, each. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richi RE: Is mcAfee enough? Dear Webby, im always leary of spyware and i just got Mcafee total Protection, do you think that is enough ? or do i need more spyware pograms? tyvm. for your help.. love the letter Richi Dear Richi Combined with common sense, McAfee is normally enough. If you do get hit with something extraordinary, you can still add Malwarebytes. If you suspect nuisance spyware, get Spybot- Search&Destroy. http://www.safer-networking.org/spybot2-own-mirror-1/ It is free. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ In a Nairobi restaurant: CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER. Scribbled underneath: He's even worse! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How do you fix a scratched glass top stove? I scratched it by shaking the pop corn pan (duh)! Barbara from St Cloud, FL I joined this site just to give you this gem! I did the same on our week old stove that my hubby was craving. Try baking soda on a damp cloth. Once you buff all of the soda off it is as close to new as you are gonna get! I was impressed! Good luck! By katie Rinda [1 Comment] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A lady was driving from her husband's office to the kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when she blew past a red light, and a police car. Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic safety, and finished by saying, "Lady, don't you know when to stop?" Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said, "Hey! Only six of those kids are mine!" ___________________________________________________
Johanna channels Aretha Franklin
____________________________________________________ On an Athi River highway: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE. DUH ! Aside from not seeing a submerged sign, what would be your second clue ? ____________________________________________________ The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the LAWN MOWER!!!!" ____________________________________________________
Creepy archaeology.

Today on June 11
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman
Emperor in Germany. 

1509 King Henry VIII married his first of six wives,
Catherine of Aragon. 

1770 Captain James Cook discovered the Great Barrier Reef
off of Australia when he ran aground. 

1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took the island of Malta. 

1895 Charles E. Duryea received the first U.S. patent
granted to an American inventor for a gasoline-driven
automobile. 

1912 Silas Christoferson became the first pilot to take
off from the roof of a hotel. 

1915 British troops took Cameroon in Africa. 

1927 Charles A. Lindberg was presented the first
Distinguished Flying Cross. 

1930 William Beebe dove to a record-setting depth of 1,426
feet off the coast of Bermuda. He used a diving chamber
called a bathysphere. 

1934 The Disarmament Conference in Geneva ended in
failure. 

1936 The Presbyterian Church of America was formed in
Philadelphia, PA. 

1937 Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a purge of Red Army
generals. 

1940 The Italian Air Force bombed the British fortress at
Malta in the Mediterranean. 

1942 The U.S. and the Soviet Union signed a lend lease
agreement to provide arms and ammo to the Soviets and jobs
to the US arms industry. All those freighter convoys,
that hauled arms and ammo to Russia were funded by the
lend-lease program. When the Soviet Union collapsed, the
debt was forgiven.

1943 During World War II, the Italian island of
Pantelleria surrendered after a heavy air bombardment. 

1947 The U.S. government announced an end to sugar
rationing. 

1950 Ben Hogan returned to tournament play after a near
fatal car accident. He won the U.S. Open. 

1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was arrested in Florida
for trying to integrate restaurants. 

1963 Alabama Gov. George Wallace allowed two black
students to enroll at the University of Alabama. 

1967 Israel and Syria accepted a U.N. cease-fire. 

1972 Hank Aaron tied the National League record for 14
grand-slam home runs in a career. 

1973 After a ruling by the Justice Department of the State
of Pennsylvania, women were licensed to box or wrestle. 

1977 In the Netherlands, a 19-day hostage situation came
to an end when Dutch marines stormed a train and a school
being held by South Moluccan extremist. Two hostages and
the six terrorists were killed. 

1981 The first major league baseball player's strike
began. It would last for two months. 

1982 Steven Spielberg's movie "E.T." opened. 

1987 Margaret Thatcher became the first British prime
minister in 160 years to win a third consecutive term of
office. 

1990 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a law that would
prohibit the desecration of the American Flag. 

1991 Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines erupted. The
eruption of ash and gas could be seen for more than 60
miles. 

1993 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that people who commit
"hate crimes" could be sentenced to extra punishment. The
court also ruled in favor of religious groups saying that
they indeed had a constitutional right to sacrifice
animals during worship services. 

1993 Steven Spielberg's movie "Jurassic Park" opened. 

1998 Mitsubishi of America agreed to pay $34 million to
end the largest sexual harassment case filed by the U.S.
government. The federal lawsuit claimed that hundreds of
women at a plant in Normal, IL, had endured groping and
crude jokes from male workers. 

1998 Pakistan announced moratorium on nuclear testing and
offered to talk with India over disputed Kashmir. 

2010 The FIFA World Cup opened in South Africa. It was the
first time it was held in Africa. 

2016 World Cup opened in France.
2016  smiled.


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Problem printing from IE 




Good Morning, ,


Today is Friday, June 10
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: NC Mother prostitutes her 2 mentally handicapped teenage daughters for $5 to $20 Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 10, in 1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on the U.S. The dispute was over merchant vessels being able to travel safely through the Mediterranean. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution. --- Hannah Arendt (1906 - 1975) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. --- Robert Benchley I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some. --- Herbert Rappaport _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ SIXTEEN STEPS TO BUILD A CAMPFIRE 1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make pyramid structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand) 6. Light Match 7. Light Match 8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled 'kerosene'. 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Re-label can to read 'gasoline'. 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps. --------------------- Modern alternative: 1. Point to the sign that forbids camp fires. 2. Click the propane BBQ ON.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
All Time Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park Tourists Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff!) 1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing"signs? 2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose? 3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' " Tourist: "Oh". 4. Are the bears with collars tame? 5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose? 6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent? 7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos? 8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was? 9. Are there birds in Canada? 10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? 11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin? 12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper? 13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan? 14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario? 15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields? 16. How far is Banff from Canada? 17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day? 18. Do they search you at the B.C. border? 19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds? 20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they? 21. Are there phones in Banff? 22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles? 23. We're not on the decibel system ya know. 24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY lost?? 25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car? 26. Don't you Canadians know anything? 27. Where do you put the animals at night? 28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist: " Oh 29. And the most common question, also referred to as the mating call of the blue haired Winnebagan: "An haw much ees dat in reel mohney?" 30. The mating call of the males is:"We're the Fog Owie?" ______________________________________________________ A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that now the customer is always wrong." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by NC Mother prostitutes her 2 mentally handicapped teenage daughters for $5 to $20 Teresa Vanover 52, Eden, North Carolina A mother who pleaded guilty to prostituting her two mentally disabled teenage daughters for $20 or less has been sentenced to a minimum of 20 years in prison. Teresa Vanover admitted she allowed local men to perform sexual acts on her daughters in their Eden, North Carolina neighborhood for $5, $10 or $20 bills. The money was used to pay for her husband's medical bills, as well as her crack cocaine habit. Vanover, 52, was charged 24 counts of child abuse by prostitution and 24 counts of promoting prostitution with a minor with a disability. She received the minimum 20 year sentence on three of her charges and a six-and-a-half year concurrent sentence for her other 45 charges. Vanover confessed that she would take her 15-year-old daughter to a neighborhood barber shop, a nearby boat ramp and even one of the men's mother's house. She would then allow the men to perform sexual acts on her daughter, or would make her daughter watch while she had sex with them, according to Greensboro News & Record. When the 15-year-old began to refuse, Vanover used her 13-year-old daughter instead. The 15-year-old told police months after her father died, when she realized there couldn't be any more medical bills her mother needed to pay. 'We don't have to do it anymore because daddy is dead,' the girl told police, according to transcripts read in court. Vanover was arrested in September 2015 and immediately confessed to the crimes. She also led police to four men who would be charged in the prostitution ring: Thomas 'Tommy' Woodall, Everett Ferris Jr, Donnie Carter, and Mickey Snow. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Gordon RE: Problem printing from IE Dear Webby, It looks like I need your help again. You always seem to have the answer for the unique things!! I really appreciate any suggestion you may have to fix this problem for me. Thanks Gordon I’m running Windows 7 on my computer. For the last few weeks, when trying to print from pages in Internet Explorer, all I get is a blank page with the following error message (or something similar to it) across the bottom of the page. File:///Users/GORDON~1/AppData/Local/Temp/Low/KIHDDsY2 .htm The rest of the page is blank. If I reboot my computer, it then prints okay for a short while but then, before long, it’s back to the same thing. The problem started suddenly but I can’t seem to get it to go away!! Gordon Dear Gordon Try using a modern browser like Chrome. I ditched IE 4 or 5 years ago. It is not needed. That problem will go away when you uninstall IE. Install Chrome or FireFox first and transfer your bookmarks. Using CrapCleaner might help a bit, just like rebooting does. However, that is not a fix or repair either. Trying to browse to that link will probably not reveal anything useful. Just import all your bookmarks to a better browser, then uninstall IE. Some Microsoft shills tried to scare me that I would need IE for updates. Not true at all. Windows updates just fine with Chrome. Even Microsoft dumped IE. On W10 they use a totally new browser, that doesn't have the problems of IE. For W7 I highly recommend Chrome. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The case concerned a will and Kelly was a witness. The attorney asked:"Was the deceased in the habit of talking to herself when she was alone?" "I don't know," said Kelly. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "This might be a bit too logical for somebody like you, but in truth, whenever Georgina was alone, she was alone because I was not with her." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How do you fix a scratched glass top stove? I scratched it by shaking the pop corn pan (duh)! Barbara from St Cloud, FL I joined this site just to give you this gem! I did the same on our week old stove that my hubby was craving. Try baking soda on a damp cloth. Once you buff all of the soda off it is as close to new as you are gonna get! I was impressed! Good luck! By katie Rinda [1 Comment] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Old Andrzej was a minister in a small Polish town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions Andrzej would like to ask. Old Andrzej did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?" God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time." Andrzej thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one day?" Again God had to disappoint Old Andrzej: "Not in your life-time, I'm afraid." Andrzej was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having though for a while, he asked the last question: "Will there ever be another Polish pope?" God answered quickly and with a firm voice, "Not in My life time." ___________________________________________________
A better link: A beautiful trip
____________________________________________________ Some People Live Each Day As If It's The First Day Of The Rest Of April. A Bonehead Award went to a bunch of April Fools in St. Georges, Utah in 2003 Cedar City, Utah, mayor Gerald R. Sherratt, to advertise the upcoming April 1st Himmeslk festival in the city, made up a story for a newspaper advertisement, all in the April 1st spirit, explaining that the city recently discovered ancient Viking artifacts in a nearby cave. And that the artifacts ended up in the city owing to the area having once been part of a South Pacific island that became unhinged by earthquakes and tsunamis and eventually floated all the way over to Cedar City, Utah. And the story finally ends by saying that had the U.S. government not only erased all evidence of the area's history, the U.S. government would owe descendents of King Blodosk, the then Viking king, $88.7 billion. Obviously far-fetched, you say? So, what do you think happened next? Cedar City began getting calls and letters from some people in St.Georges, Utah, claiming to be descendents of King Blodosk, and laying claim to the imaginary treasures in the imaginary cave in the imaginary land. Mayor Sherratt's exasperated explanation that he made the whole thing up to promote the festival has only been met with counter claims that the he and other officials are doing a cover-up. No doubt the lawsuits will be real, but unbelievable. Does anybody have an update on that? ____________________________________________________ "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews: (P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage (P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed (P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level (P) IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) inoperative (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode (P) IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) still inoperative (S) No Foes around here during hunting season. (P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search (P) Target Radar hums (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics ____________________________________________________
Riveting images of the most natural wonders on the planet.

Today on June 10
1776 The Continental Congress appointed a committee to
write a Declaration of Independence.
1793 The Jardin des Plantes zoo opened in Paris. It was
the  first public zoo.
1801 The North African State of Tripoli declared war on
the U.S.  The dispute was over merchant vessels being
able to travel  safely through the Mediterranean.
1898 U.S. Marines landed in Cuba during Spanish-American
War.
1902 The "outlook" or "see-through" envelope was
patented  by Americus F. Callahan.
1909 The SOS distress signal was used for the first
time.  The Cunard liner SS Slavonia used the signal when
it wrecked off the Azores.
1916 Mecca, under control of the Turks, fell to the
Arabs during the Great Arab Revolt.
1920 The Republican convention in Chicago endorsed woman
 suffrage.
1925 The state of Tennessee adopted a new biology text
book that denied the theory of evolution.
1935 Alcoholic Anonymous was founded by William G.
Wilson  and Dr. Robert Smith.
1940 Italy declared war on France and Britain. In
addition, Canada declared war on Italy.
1943 Laszlo Biro patented his ballpoint pen. Biro was a 
 Hungarian journalist.
1943 The Allies began bombing Germany around the clock.
1946 Italy established a republic replacing its
monarchy.
1948 Chuck Yeager, first American to exceeded the speed
of sound in the Bell XS-1.
1954 General Motors announced the gas turbine bus had 
 been produced successfully.
1967 Israel and Syria agreed to a cease-fire that ended 
 the Six-Day War.
1971 The U.S. ended a 21-year trade embargo of China.
1984 The U.S. Army successfully tested an antiballistic
missile.
1984 The United States and the Vatican established full 
 diplomatic relations for the first time in 117 years.
1985 The Israeli army pulled out of Lebanon after 1,099
days.
1993 It was announced by scientists that genetic
material was extracted from an insect that lived when
dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
1994 U.S. President Clinton intensified sanctions
against Haiti's military leaders. U.S. commercial air
travel was suspended along with most financial
transactions between Haiti and the U.S.
1996 Britain and Ireland opened Northern Ireland peace
talks. The IRA's political arm Sinn Fein was excluded.
1998 The Wisconsin Supreme Court ruled that poor
children in Milwaukee could attend religious schools at
taxpayer expense.
2016  smiled.


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When you can't use email 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, June 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Irish jockey gets drunk, steals car and crashes into the woman he's going to meet for their first date, at 87 mph. Gets 21 months in jail. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 9, in 1534 Jacques Cartier became the first to sail into the river he named Saint Lawrence. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. --- Marquis de la Grange The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous. --- Shana Alexander _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Jean is a very nervous flyer. During a trip with AA lately it didn't help that her connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after they were aloft, Jean noticed the lights began flickering. She mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," the elderly stewardess said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she'd solved the problem by turning off the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been listening leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
As a professional clown, John entertains groups at parties and company picnics. Once, an inebriated guest began heckling him in the middle of a performance, disrupting his act. Trying to ignore him wasn't working, so he used a different tactic. Slipping his arm around his shoulder, John looked him in the eye and said, "Mister, I get paid to dress up and make a fool of myself - what's your excuse?" ______________________________________________________ A housewife with four young daughters was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, "Hi, Daddy!" and began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her next older sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the wife's turn to talk she took the receiver and said, "Hi, hon." "Thank goodness, lady," the voice on the other end replied. "I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is here, but those girls think the phone goes one way only!" ______________________________________________________ Gender neutral Bathroom, West Virginia ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Irish jockey gets drunk, steals car and crashes into the woman he's going to meet for their first date at 87 mph. Gets 21 months in jail. Trevor Woodside, 33, Castleview, Killyleagh, Ireland Trevor Woodside (33), was told by a judge at Downpatrick Crown Court, sitting in Newtownards, that it was an "appalling piece of driving'' which had left his victim with "significant long term injuries" both physically and psychologically sick when she discovered who the driver of the other vehicle was. Following the head-on collision, the court heard, the Volkswagen Golf of the victim spun around on the road before careering down a bank and into trees. Such was the force of the impact that the engine of VW Golf car was dislodged onto the road. The driver of the stolen black mercedes was Trevor Woodside and the female driver of the Volkswagen had been on her way to meet him. He was conscious and was complaining of a back injury. He had been drinking and he had no licence,'' said Mr Magee. The court also heard that when the car was examined, the speedometer of the Mercedes car was "frozen''at a speed of between 75-80 mph. The driver of the Volkswagen Golf was knocked unconscious. She was freed from the vehicle and taken to hospital. She underwent open surgery to address her right foot and had a plate inserted. She also sustained an injury to her chest and had a drain inserted into her chest. She had skin grafts to her foot and further surgery will be required to her foot. She spent two weeks in hospital. More at Belfast telegraph ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mina RE: When you can't use email Dear Webby, I hope you don't mind too much if I write you even though I know my computer is infected. I know you are properly protected. My computer came with what I thought was good anti virus utilities, but even though it is only a few months old and has updated the virus stuff regularly, it got infected anyway. I need to write to my dad to come and clean it up for me and install better virus protection, but I don't dare writing him from an infected computer. I can't call him at work, and at home he's always on-line and I can't call him there either. What else can I do ? Mina Dear Mina Dear Mina Just send him a nice Internet post card ! Go to http://angelwinks.net, pick out a nice Father's Day card or any of the thousands of free postcards, and send it to him. You can tell him about the virus problem on that card, or tell him another card will follow and write about it in that one. Internet Postcards are perfectly safe. They can not transfer anything more malicious than bad spelling. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The elementary school teacher was trying impress upon the seventh-grade history class how Native Americans must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," said she, "if someone showed up on your doorstep, who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore weird and unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one boy answered, "I'd figure it was my sister's date. They are all weird." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Mango Lime Bars By attosa [210 Posts, 494 Comments] It's mango season! I keep bumping into mango sales so I thought it's time to come up with something new. These mango lime bars are a lot like lemon bars, but less gooey, more pillowy, and of course, more mango-y! The base is a butter shortbread that will melt in your mouth, but still hold up the custardy topping. You will love these. If you prefer super tart, go with two limes instead of one; the consistency will still hold up. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 16 barsMango Lime Bars Ingredients: Crust 1 1/4 cup all purpose flour 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 cup sugar 1/3 cup cold butter, cut into little squares Filling 3/4 cup sugar 3 Tbsp all purpose flour 2 large eggs 2 large mangoes 1 medium lime (2 if you like tart) 2 Tbsp powdered sugar (optional, for top) Steps: Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly grease a 9x9" baking dish. (I've been successful with other sizes and pan types making bars). In a bowl, combine flour, salt, and sugar. Mix well. Cut the cold little squares of butter into the flour mixture. I just quickly squeeze them by hand until the consistency is like coarse sand. You could also use a food processor or two knives. Mango Lime BarsMango Lime Bars Dump into prepared baking dish and press firmly into an even layer. Bake for about 15 minutes at 350 F, until set at the edges. While the crust is baking, prepare the mango lime top. Peel and pit the mangoes and puree in a blender or food processor. In a bowl, whisk together sugar and flour. Beat in the eggs. Zest your lime(s) into the egg mixture, then squeeze in its juice. Mango Lime BarsMango Lime Bars Add mango puree. Mix well. Pour the mango lime filling over the hot crust when it's done baking. Spread evenly. Return baking dish to the 350 F oven and bake for 20-25 minutes, until the filling is set. Cool complete. Dust with powdered sugar, if desired. Cut into bars. Store bars in refrigerator. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification." He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary." "How come?" asked the woman. "Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk. ___________________________________________________
A beautiful trip
____________________________________________________ Slash, a well-known murderer, had been on death row for nearly 20 years. During that time, he had befriended the Warden. Now, the Warden still had a job to do, but that didn't stop him from treatin' Slash special from time to time. A week before Slash was to go to the electric chair, the Warden asked Slash if there was anything special he would like. Slash thought for a bit and said he would like the Warden to contact his wife and have her make meatloaf for him the rest of his life (which by this time, was short). Of course, the Warden complied and each day, Slash sat down and had a big feed of his wife's meatloaf. The night before the big day, another prisoner was allowed to visit Slash and asked him. "Aren't you afraid of dying tomorrow?" Slash answered' "I ain't gonna die tomorrow." The other prisoner then said, "but tomorrow is Friday and we all know, that's the day they're sendin' you to the electric chair." "Don't matter," said Slash, "if this meatloaf can't kill me, nothin' can." ____________________________________________________ During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm going to drop this dime into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?" "No sir," one student called out.

"No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver won't dissolve in this particular acid." "Because if it would, you would have asked for MY dime before you dropped it in." ____________________________________________________
Playing with bubbles.world.

Today on June 9
1064 Coimbra, Portugal fell to Ferdinand, the King of
Castile.
1534 Jacques Cartier became the first to sail into the
river he named Saint Lawrence.
1790 Civil war broke out in Martinique.
1923 Bulgaria’s government was overthrown by the
military.
1934 Donald Duck made his debut in the Silly Symphonies 
 cartoon "The Wise Little Hen."
1940 Norway surrendered to the Nazis during World War
II.
1945 Japanese Premier Kantaro Suzuki declared that Japan
 would fight to the last rather than accept
unconditional surrender.
1959 The first ballistic missile carrying submarine, the
 USS George Washington, was launched.
1978 Leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
 Saints struck down a 148-year-old policy of excluding 
 black men from the Mormon priesthood.
1985 Thomas Sutherland, an American educator, was
kidnapped in Lebanon. He was not released until November
1991.
1986 The Rogers Commission released a report on the
Challenger disaster. The report explained that the
spacecraft blew up as a result of a failure in a solid
rocket booster joint. Few engineers beieved that BS.
1999 NATO and Yugoslavia signed a peace agreement over
Kosovo. 
2000 Canada and the United States signed a border
security agreement. The agreement called for the
establishment of a joint border-enforcement team.
2016  smiled.


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Spyware vs Virus 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, June 8

>From Bonnie
That IS funny!
I have not heard from Rachael yet, or if I did, maybe I
told her that I don't have a phone, and she believed it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: West Virginia couple arrested for trying to sell her baby Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 8, in 0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Remember that what you believe will depend very much on what you are. --- Noah Porter (1811 - 1892) They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm. --- Dorothy Parker, 'Fair Weather,' Sunset Gun, 1928 Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. --- Carl Jung _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren. Last night I had an affair and made love to an 18-year- old girl. The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?" "Never Father, I'm Jewish." "Then why are you telling me?" "I'm telling everybody...."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening. First and last time I take her out!" Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit', 'Stop', and 'Don't!....'" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Judy for this one: Had to send you this true story: My niece has 4 kids and was breast feeding the baby when #3 child, Jack wanted to climb up into her lap. During the process he was using his elbows to push his way up and hit her other breast so she said: 'watch the elbows Jack'. When Grandmother came over later, Jack climbed up into her lap, patted her rather ample bosom and said 'I like your elbows, Grandma'. Needless to say, they will always be elbows to us from now on! Thanks for all the fun you send, Judy ______________________________________________________ Stanton Mountain, Montana ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by West Virginia couple arrested for trying to sell her baby Ashley Harmon Jonathan Flint Layland, West Virginia Ashley Harmon and Jonathan Flint are charged with child neglect after trying to sell Harmon's 3-month-old baby for $500 to $1000. Deputies said the couple showed up at a neighbor's door and tried to get Carolyn Redden to buy the child. She refused, but took the child in to care for her. Redden did not want to show her face on camera, but she spoke to Eyewitness News about her efforts. "Why have a child if you're not going to care for it?" Redden said. "Just because it is hard doesn't mean you give up on a child." The mother ran away leaving the sick baby at Redden's home. The couple left one soiled diaper and a bottle of spoiled milk. "I ran out and got diapers and more bottles for her," Redden said. "She was shaking, clinching her fists, crying and screaming." The baby had diaper rash so badly and was so sick, Redden called 9-1-1. Her call to law enforcement may have saved the child's life. She gave names and descriptions to Fayette County detectives, and they were able to track down the couple and arrest them. Fayette County deputies said Ashley Harmon has two other children she has left in another part of the state. They also said the baby's biological father had nothing to do with this. He did not know where the mother had taken the child. The baby is currently with Child Protective Services. They will decide if the biological father will get stuck with custody. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Billie RE: Viruses and spyware Dear Webby, All this talk about spyware has gotten me worried. I have that Anti-virus program that came with my computer, isn't that enough protection? What is the diff between viruses and spys anyway? All I use the computer for is for email during work and in the evening I browse a bit and download music and the odd game. Should I be concerned ? Billie Dear Billie Yes, Billie, you should be VERY concerned. OK, first the difference between viruses and spies. Viruses spread from one user to many others. Most viruses nowadays don't harm or slow down your system, they just line it up and get it ready for remote control by a spammer or hacker. Spyware does not normally spread horizontally. It comes down to you directly from music, porno and game servers and also from spam. Spyware spies on you, extracts information that can be simply where you shop and what you buy, but it can also include sensitive information like credit card and bank info. Naturally all that snooping around and reporting slows your system down, and the more spyware you have on your machine, the more it slows down. Most of the spies just quietly snoop and don't show any easily detectable signs other than slowing you down. However, some spyware also adds "hotbars" similar to your regular task bar. Others change your modem settings so that every now and then you dial up through a 1-900 pay line. Some hijack your browser's Home Page choice and substitute theirs, others hijack your browser completely and only let you go to sites affiliated with the spies. Almost all spyware takes your addresses and the ones in your address books and sells them to spammers. There is NO spyware that is beneficial to YOU. The most immediately visible result of cleaning all spyware out of your computer is that it speeds up quite remarkably and runs just as fast as it did when it was new. You can get rid of a lot of spyware with Spybot-Search&Destroy. To get rid of viruses I recommend McAfee Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Two paramedics were dispatched to check on an elderly man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked out the ambulance window. "Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 40, maybe 45." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Two Ingredient Biscuits By Robyn [382 Posts, 763 Comments] These biscuits are made with whipping cream and self rising flour. These are the only two ingredients. Ingredients: 2 cups self-rising flour 1 cup whipping cream Steps: Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Combine flour and cream in a mixing bowl, stirring just until blended. The dough will be a little stiff. Transfer dough to a lightly floured surface and knead 10 times. Roll to 1/2-inch thickness and cut with a 3-inch cutter. Place biscuits close together on a lightly greased baking sheet. Bake 10 minutes. Makes 12 biscuits. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Gayle for these classics: In 1983, a Mrs. Carson of Lake Kushaqua, N.Y., was laid out in her coffin, presumed dead of heart disease. As mourners watched, she suddenly sat up. Her daughter dropped dead of fright. A man hit by a car in New York in 1977 got up uninjured, but lay back down in front of the car when a bystander told him to pretend he was hurt so he could collect insurance money. The car got bumped, rolled forward and crushed him to death. ___________________________________________________
Danish ad
____________________________________________________ The husband didn't want to play in the "Couples Alternate Shot Tournament" at the club, but he reluctantly agreed just for the sake of martial harmony. He got the first shot. He teed off, a par four, and fired a drive 300 yard down the middle of the fairway. When they reached the ball, he said to his wife (a novice golfer), "Just hit it towards the green, hon, anywhere around there will be fine." She proceeded to knock the ball deep into the woods. Undaunted, he said, "That's ok, dear, we'll play it." He spent five full minutes looking for the ball. He played it for the shot of his life and actually put the ball just two feet from the hole on the green. Arriving on the green he said, "Now, dear, all you have to do is knock it gently into the hole." She whacked it a good one, right off the green and into a sand trap. The husband, still retaining his composure, marched into the sand trap, summoned all of his skill, and amazingly holed the shot from there. Retrieving the ball from the hole he put his arm around his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey -- one over par -- but that's ok. I think we can do better on the next hole." She snapped back at him, "Don't bitch at ME. Only *2* of those *FIVE* shots were mine!" ____________________________________________________ A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher. The note read: "Bill Jones, having gone to sea, his wife requests the prayers of the congregation for his safety." Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing: "Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." ____________________________________________________
In the right light and right angle we live in a fantastic fantasy world.

Today on June 8
0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun.
0793 The Vikings raided the Northumbrian coast of
England. 
1786 In New York City, commercial ice cream was
manufactured for the first time.
1861 Tennessee voted to secede from the Union and joined
the Confederacy.
1866 Prussia annexed the region of Holstein.
1869 Ives W. McGaffey received a U.S. patent for the
suction vacuum cleaner.
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangiers, Morocco, to protect
 U.S. citizens.
1953 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed segregated
restaurants in Washington, DC.
1965 U.S. troops in South Vietnam were given orders to
begin fighting offensively.
1967 Israeli airplanes attacked the USS Liberty in the 
 Mediterranean during the 6-Day War between Israel and
its Arab neighbors. 34 U.S. Navy crewmen were killed.
Israel later called the incident a tragic mistake due to
the mis-identification of the ship. The U.S. has never
publicly investigated the incident.
1978 A jury in Clark County, Nevada, ruled that the
"Mormon will," was a forgery. The work was supposedly
written by Howard Hughes.
1987 Fawn Hill began testifying in the Iran-Contra
hearings. She said that she had helped to shred some
documents.
1991 A victory parade was held in Washington, DC, to
honor veterans of the Persian Gulf War.
1995 U.S. Air Force pilot Captain Scott O'Grady was
rescued by U.S. Marines after surviving alone in Bosnia
after his F-16 fighter was shot down on June 2.
1996 China set off an underground nuclear test blast.
1998 Honda agreed to pay $17.1 million for disconnecting
anti-pollution devices in 1.6 million cars.
1998 The space shuttle Discovery pulled away from Mir,
ending America's three-year partnership with Russia.
2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones began the first known
continuous hike of the 1,800-mile trail down the U.S.
Pacific Coast. They completed the trek at the U.S.-Mexico
border on September 28.
2016  smiled.


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Strange long distance numbers 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, June 7

Happy 93rd Birthday Navy Chief Jim!

>From Chubs
Voted each day for you and Ophelia using the last e-mail before you 
shot in the eye. It looks like a few others voted too. As I figure
it you gained 57 votes and she received 17 in that time span. Hope
the shots help a longer period.
Have a great day.
Chubs

Dear Chubs
Thanks for voting!
The next set of shots are scheduled for Thursday, July 21.
My left eye is still hurting from last week's shots, 
but the right one is OK.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Peeping Tom Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 7, in 1775 The United Colonies changed their name to the United States. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. --- William Feather Searching for lost relatives? . . . Annonce you have won the Lottery! They'll show up. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
An American tourist in London decided to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wandered around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness. After awhile, he found himself in a very high class neighborhood..... big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. He really, really had to go, after all those pints of Guinnesss. He found a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decided to use the wall to solve his problem. As he was unzipping, he was tapped on the shoulder by a London bobbie, who said, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know." "I'm very sorry, officer," replied the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom." "Ah, yes," said the Bobbie..."Just follow me". He led him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate which he opened. "In there," pointed the Bobbie. "Whiz away,... anywhere you want." The fellow entered and found himself in the most beautiful garden he had ever seen -- manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom. Since he had the cop's blessing, he zipped down and unburdened himself and was greatly relieved. As he went back through the gate, he said to the bobbie, "That was really decent of you .... is that "British Hospitality?". "No" replied the Bobbie, with a satisfied smile on his face, "that is the French Embassy ______________________________________________________ Old Ms Molly tripped on the stairs and broke her leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that she wasn't to use the stairs until the cast came off. Four months later he removed the cast and pronounced her well on the way to recovery. "Oh good," she responded. "Is it all right for me to walk the stairs now?" "Yes," said the doctor, "if you will promise to be careful." "I can't tell you what a relief it will be," she sighed. "It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying up and down that drainpipe all the time!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Father leaves 10 year old son alone with 2 loaded guns while he goes peeping in the window of his neighbors 18 year old daughter. Chad Michael Rodrigues, 42, Brooksville, Florida A Brooksville father is accused of peering into the bedroom window of a teenage girl Tuesday night while leaving his 10- year-old son home alone with access to two loaded weapons. The incident happened in a neighborhood off of Trillum Boulevard, just east of the Suncoast Parkway. Deputies say Chad Michael Rodrigues, 42, was seen peering into the bedroom window of an 18-year-old girl by a patrol deputy. When Rodrigues was first approached, he apparently concocted a story about searching for a dog he had lost six weeks prior. When deputies didn’t buy that, he admitted he had been looking at the teenage girl, and that it wasn’t the first time. He also admitted, on one occasion, to masturbating as he looked. Following his arrest, deputies discovered Rodrigues had left his 10-year-old son home alone with access to a loaded 12- gauge shotgun and a loaded 9mm pistol. The child told deputies his father takes walks in the middle of the night all the time, and that he often wakes up to find that no one else is home. Rodrigues was charged with five counts of voyeurism and one count of child neglect. He has since posted his $10,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Al H RE: Strange long distance numbers Dear Webby The following message came in, warning against dialing phone numbers with certain prefixes -- that those who do so, risk having horrendous charges to their phong bill. Is this truly a danger? Or is it another email hoax? Does anyone know? I'm even leery of calling the AT&T number listed at the end this message. Al H Dear Al That warning is true. Don't call strange Caribbean numbers ! If you have to communicate to there, use email. Every hotel and every hospital there have email, and because even regular calls without scams are extremely expensive there, they all use email. When you get asked to call numbers in spam, remember: Spammers Lie ! So why should you call a lying spammer long distance ? The same with phone messages. Why would you call some telemarkerter long distance ? Just ignore them like you do (or should) ignore the spam. By the way, most phone books have maps in the front with the area codes on them, and you can always dial 0 for the operator and ask her where a certain area code is. Personally, when some stranger calls me and tells me to call some number, I hang up long before they can even say their number. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ On the outskirts of town, there was huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence. Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery." He cycled down the road fast as he could and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls." The man said, "Shooo, you brat, can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is." But after several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..." The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth. Let's see if we can see the devil himself." Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, yet they were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done." They say the old guy made it back to town five minutes before the boy with the bicycle. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Scratches from a Toilet This tip is for anyone who has scratches in their toilet (like from a snake, etc.). This is so easy and so inexpensive! Use Comet cleanser, Bar Keeper's Friend, or similar brand and sprinkle into water. I usually sprinkle maybe 1/8 cup. Let sit for several hours. You do not have to scrub or touch it in any way. The scratches will magically disappear. I don't know how, but they do with no effort on your part. I do not know if this works with Soft Scrub or similar products. I have only tried Comet and Bar Keeper's Friend. By Kathy What you think are scratches, are actually just "writings" from metal. Porcellain is harder than any metal you are likely to have around the house. The metal just "writes" on the hard porcellain. Bar Keepers Friend or Weimans or Hydrochloric Acid dissolves the writing and leaves smooth porcellain. By the way, those cleaners are safe for a septic tank. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A mother was preparing pancakes for her 2 sons, the older 5 and the younger 4 years old. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here," she said, "he would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, I'll be pious, I'll let you be Jesus!" ___________________________________________________
Matilda's dance
____________________________________________________ Mike was explaining to Judy about when he'd been a kid he fell through the ice on the pond. He went all the way under. Several panicked minuted passed when Mike couldn't find the hole get out and he was running out of air quickly. Judi put her hand to her mouth and said, "Oh my God, did you get out??" ____________________________________________________ A young doctor had just opened office and felt really excited. His secretary told him a man was here to see him. The young doctor told her to send him in. Pretending to be a busy doctor, he picked up the phone just as the man came in. "Yes, that's right. The fee is $200. Yes, I'll expect you ten past two. Alright. No later. I'm a very busy man." He hung up and turned to the man waiting. "May I help you?" "No," said the man, "I just came in to connect the phone." ____________________________________________________
In the right light and right angle we live in a fantastic fantasy world.

Today on June 7
1494 Spain and Portugal divided the new lands they had 
 discovered between themselves.
1498 Christopher Columbus left on his third voyage of 
 exploration.
1654 Louis XIV was crowned king of France.
1712 The Pennsylvania Assembly banned the importation of 
 slaves.
1775 The United Colonies changed their name to the United States.
1776 Richard Henry Lee of Virginia proposed to the Continental 
Congress a resolution calling for a Declaration 
of Independence.
1863 Mexico City was captured by French troops.
1892 J.F. Palmer patented the cord bicycle tire.
1900 Boxer rebels cut the rail links between Peking and 
 Tientsin in China.
1903 Professor Pierre Curie revealed the discovery of Polonium.
1929 The sovereign state of Vatican City came into existence 
 as copies of the Lateran Treaty were exchanged in Rome.
1932 Over 7,000 war veterans marched on Washington, DC, 
 demanding their bonuses.
1939 King George VI and his wife, Queen Elizabeth, arrived 
 in the U.S. It was the first visit to the U.S. by a 
 reigning British monarch.
1942 The Battle of Midway ended. The sea and air battle lasted 
 4 days. Japan lost four carriers, a cruiser, and 292 aircraft, 
 and suffered 2,500 casualties. The U.S. lost the Yorktown, 
 the destroyer USS Hammann, 145 aircraft, and suffered 307 
 casualties.
1942 Japan landed troops on the islands of Attu and Kiska in 
 the Aleutians. The U.S. invaded and recaptured the Alutians 
 one year later.
1944 Off of the coast of Normandy, France, the Susan B. Anthony 
 sank. All 2,689 people aboard survived.
1948 The Communists completed their takeover of Czechoslovakia.
1966 Sony Corporation unveiled its brand new consumer home 
videotape recorder. The black and white only unit sold for $995.
1965 In the U.S., the Gemini 4 mission was completed. The mission 
 featured the first spacewalk by an American.
1968 In Operation Swift Saber, U.S. Marines swept an area 10 miles 
 northwest of Danang in South Vietnam.
1981 Israeli F-16 fighter-bombers destroyed Iraq’s only 
 nuclear reactor.
1983 The U.S. ordered Nicaragua to close all six of its consulates 
 and informed 21 Nicaraguan consular officials that they could 
 no longer remain in the U.S.
2000 U.S. Federal Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ordered the 
 breakup of Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft appealed.
2016  smiled.


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AudioGrabber 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, June 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a woman in Santa Ana who changed her appearance after a deadly hit and run. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 6, in Today, in 1944 The D-Day invasion of Europe took place on the beaches of Normandy, France. 400,000 Allied Canadian, American and British troops were involved. Thanks to those brave troops we have a Free Enterprise system, instead of what Hitler wanted. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. --- Josh Billings (1818 - 1885) In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. --- Paul Dirac (1902 - 1984) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Daffinitions: SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look fat in mink. CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed. EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone. EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver. OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings for half an hour. BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself." BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers. TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods. PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority have no idea what happened. SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut. TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
As a distinguished matron approached the church entrance, a little boy stepped aside and held the door for her. "What a polite little doorman," she said as she walked through. "Is there a tip involved?" "Oh, no," answered the young man. "My mother taught me never to be good for money, but always to be good for nothing." ______________________________________________________ Paul and his wife Lorna had moved to Arizona and were experienceing their first real heat wave. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Paul as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "They'd probably think that I married you for your money." ______________________________________________________ Mother's Dream! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Police detain woman in Santa Ana hit and run, say she changed her appearance Tracy Clapp, 36, Santa Ana, California A woman who police say hit a 26-year-old man with her car and fled after seeing him injured was taken into custody, authorities announced Sunday. Police said Tracy Clapp, 36, of Santa Ana was detained on Saturday night after a chase in a stolen car and an altercation with officers. She looked much different when she was detained than when she was spotted at the crime scene, police said at a news conference. She apparently tried to conceal her identity by wearing blue contact lenses, dyeing her hair bright pink and getting a face tattoo, said Santa Ana Cpl. Matt Wharton. Clapp was in the hospital recovering from the tussle with officers and a police dog bite, and was expected to be booked on Sunday night on suspicion of several crimes stemming from both the hit and run and the struggle with authorities, including vehicular manslaughter, felony hit and run and assault on a police officer. The announcement comes after authorities and family members appealed to the public for help finding the woman who ran a red light before hitting and severely injuring Christopher Chavez of Santa Ana. Chavez was walking in a crosswalk at Bristol Street and Central Ave. with the right of way to eat at a nearby Denny’s restaurant when he was struck on April 20 at around 2:15 a.m. Police said a woman -- in a black, BMW sedan with paper license plates -- stopped at the scene and walked up to the victim, but then drove off. Chavez was taken to Orange County Global Medical Center with serious injuries and was later declared brain-dead. A witness took a photo of her before she left. With the help of police, they offered a $20,000 reward for anyone who would help them identify the woman who fled the scene. After the family and police appealed to the public, tips came pouring in to investigators. Chavez, a drum line instructor at Saddleback High School in Santa Ana, was studying to become an emergency medical technician at Orange Coast Community College. His family was notified Saturday shortly after the 7 p.m. arrest. They met with news reporters Sunday morning outside police department headquarters. Wharton said the woman has an extensive criminal history. It was “apparent” that she knew police were looking for her, he said. On Saturday night she was traced to an area of southeast Santa Ana, where police saw her exit a house and get into a stolen car. They tried to pull her over, Wharton said, but she kept going. She fled on foot but officers confronted her and took her into custody after a scuffle and a police canine bit her arm. The dog didn't like her either. As for the $20,000 reward offered in exchange for finding the woman, Wharton said no one has been interested in the money. “There is no one interested in the reward at this time. They were just interested in leading us to her.” Chavez’s family had told the public they would be donating his organs to help others. On Sunday, they confirmed that is what happened. “It’s what he would have wanted to do,” his sister Rachel Chavez said. “Christopher will live on in other people.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: Audiograbber Dear Webby It won't help with burning the audio cd but to ensure a good audio rip I found Audiograbber to be very good. I even paid for it before it went free (as it now is). You can find it at http://www.audiograbber.org/ Hope your eyes are better. Cheers Frank Thanks Frank! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more coffee, and I didn't feel like making another pot this close to the end of my shift." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Paper Towel Tube for Tong Storage By Harlean [142 Posts, 432 Comments] I never used my tongs because they took up too much storage space and were always tangled into everything else in my cabinet drawer. Then I discovered that they fit perfectly in a paper towel roller. Just hold them together and slide them inside the cardboard roller, and they lie neatly in the drawer. By Harlean from Arkansas from Hot Springs, AR ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ City Boy: Say, Dad, how many types of milk are there? Father: Well, there's evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted milk, and ..... --but why do you ask? City Boy: Oh, I'm drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to know how many "spigots" to put on it. ___________________________________________________
abandoned places
____________________________________________________ At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged when he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks or ten years older because of your wisdom." ____________________________________________________ A story about the pilot ground school (not good enough for here) got me thinking about my first skydiving instructor. During class he would take time to anwser any of our stupid First Timer Questions. One guy asked: "If our chute doesn't open.....and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have til we hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan anwsered: "Lots of time. The whole rest of your life." ____________________________________________________
Let's go back to 2014 and the top 25 pictures of the day.

Today on June 6
1674 Sivaji crowned himself King of India.
1813 The U.S. invasion of Canada was halted at 
 Stony Creek, Ontario.
1882 The first electric iron was patented by H.W. Seely.
1924 The German Reichtag accepted the Dawes Plan. It was 
 an American plan to help Germany pay off its war debts.
1925 Chrysler Corporation was founded by Walter Percy Chrysler.
1932 In the U.S., the first federal tax on gasoline went into 
 effect. It was a penny per gallon.
1933 In Camden, NJ, the first drive-in movie theater opened.
1936 The first helicopter was tested in a building in Berlin, Germany.
1941 The U.S. government authorized the seizure of foreign 
ships in U.S. ports.
1942 The first nylon parachute jump was made by Adeline Gray 
 in Hartford, CT.
1944 The D-Day invasion of Europe took place on the beaches 
 of Normandy, France. 400,000 Allied American, British and 
 Canadian troops were involved.
1968 U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy died at 1:44am in Los 
 Angeles after being shot by Sirhan Sirhan. Kennedy was was 
 shot the evening before while campaigning for the Democratic 
 presidential nomination.
1982 Israel invaded southern Lebanon in an effort to drive 
 PLO guerrillas out of Beirut.
1985 The U.S. Senate authorized nonmilitary aid to the Contras. 
 The vote authorized $38 million over two years.
1993 Mongolia held its first direct presidential elections.
2005 The United States Supreme Court ruled that federal 
 authorities could prosecute sick people who smoke marijuana 
 on doctor's orders. The ruling concluded that state medical 
 marijuana laws did not protect users from the federal ban.
2016  smiled.


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CD ripping on XP 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, June 2

Today I have to go to  Calgary for injections into 
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Maryland arsonist gets 55 years Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 2, in 1774 The Quartering Act, which required American colonists to allow British soldiers into their houses, was reenacted. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Eunice went to the dentist the other day. It was discovered that she had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, Eunice," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like?" Without hesitation Eunice replied, "Chocolate, please."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
When my sister's husband died, she went to the bank to put his affairs in order. The young clerk looked up their joint account and then asked, "Which of you is deceased?" "I am", she told the clerk, "but my husband was in such deep shock about it, that they buried him instead of me." "Well, if you are deceased," the teller muttered, "you can't have a bank account and it goes to him. But if he is buried, he can't sign the checks!" "That's OK", my sister told her, "they take VISA anywhere. I'll be responsible for the checks, and you can send the VISA bills to him." ______________________________________________________ Kim was telling her friend how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog." ______________________________________________________ Mount Saint Michel, Normandy, France ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Maryland arsonist gets 55 years A 26-year-old Pasadena man, dubbed the "fire selfie" arsonist, was sentenced Friday to 55 years in jail for intentionally setting fire in 2015 to a home with three people inside of it. Justin Michael Clum was sentenced a little less than four months after he pleaded guilty to 25 counts associated with the crime, including attempted first-degree murder, first- degree arson and first-degree assault. "Mr. Clum's intentional and reckless actions in his attempt to kill one intended victim, almost killed another man, woman and child as they slept," said Wes Adams, Anne Arundel County state's attorney, said in a statement. "His actions also put 23 of our first responders in harm's way as they battled this blaze in the middle of the night." Prosecutors said that early in the morning of July 17, 2015, Clum and his girlfriend were drinking vodka on a community pier when Clum learned of a past sexual relationship between his girlfriend and another man. Clum then went and got some gasoline and drove to the man's home with his girlfriend. He poured gasoline on the front porch and set the home on fire, intending to kill the man. However the intended victim, who rented a room in the house on Wendover Road in Glen Burnie, was not home at the time of the fire. Prosecutors said three people were inside at the fire of the fire: homeowners Sandra and Brian Deal and their teen-aged daughter. All three were able to escape after the home's smoke alarms gave them warning. Fire officials said it took 23 firefighters about an hour to control the fire. The house was destroyed. Prosecutors said Clum fled the scene but returned the same day to take pictures of the burned property. "Through his willful actions, the defendant put the lives of the occupants of the home, responding firefighters and the public at risk," Anne Arundel County Fire Chief Allan Graves said in a statement. "This sentence reflects the seriousness of his actions and reflects the continued high level of cooperation between the fire department arson investigators and the state's attorney's office." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Noella, David RE: Copying CDs on XP Dear Webby [5:33:56 AM] Noellas: Windows Media player will rip a cd - already on XP - very easy to do [5:34:05 AM] Noella: I use it all the time [5:34:35 AM] Dear Webby: OK, will tell her if she writes back [5:35:25 AM] Noella: there's a tab - JUST for ripping, she can choose which tracks to rip. If there is only one track, she'll have to rip the whole thing and then use Audacity. --------- For Penne on the tracks of her CD being in improper order, the program is organizing under another protocol...likely alphabetical...and is best (IMHO) solved by renaming each track with numbers (01, 02, etc) in front of the track name. I use this method and it works well. (Cautioning of course on the illegality of copying discs with a copyright.) David Thanks Noella! Thanks David! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Berry Slab Pie By lalala... [747 Posts, 100 Comments] Yield: 24 pieces Ingredients: 1 box refrigerated pie crusts, room temperature 2 (8 oz.) packages cream cheese, softened 2/3 cup sugar 1 Tbsp milk 6-7 cups assorted fresh berries (sliced strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, raspberries) 1 - 1 1/2 cup strawberry glaze Steps: Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Remove softened pie crust from packaging. Unroll the crusts onto a lightly floured surface, stacking the crusts on top of each other. Use a rolling pin to roll them out into a 17 x 12 inch rectangle. Lay the curst onto an ungreased 15 x 10 x 1 inch pan. Press the crust into the corners of the pan and fold over any extra, even with the edge of the pan. Crimp edges and prick the crust with a fork. Berry Slab PieBerry Slab Pie Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from oven and cool completely. Berry Slab PieBerry Slab Pie In a medium bowl, combine cream cheese, sugar, and milk. Mix until smooth. Spread cream cheese mixture onto crust and chill for 1 hour in refrigerator. Rinse and slice berries. Then gently dry them. Berry Slab PieBerry Slab PieBerry Slab PieBerry Slab PieBerry Slab Pie Place berries into a large bowl, add strawberry glaze, and gently stir to coat berries. Spoon berry mixure onto cream cheese topping. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Note: I suggest serving it fairly quickly, as the crust gets soggy after a while. Source: Pillsbury ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "I have to tell the truth," a young man said to his new girlfriend. "While we've been dating, I've been secretly seeing a psychiatrist." "Don't worry about it," the girl told her boyfriend. "I've been secretly seeing a lawyer and a car salesman." ___________________________________________________
It's not about the nail
____________________________________________________ The new teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. "Johnny, I will not continue 'til you put your hand over your heart." Johnny replied, "It IS over my heart." After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?" "Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and MY Grandma wouldn't lie." ____________________________________________________ Here is a real classic from the Humor letter in the days of Windows NT Here is a real classic: After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance... Technician: Hello. How can I help you today? Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer. Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply. Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files. Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it. Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command. For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded: Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented command that should fix the problem. Customer: I knew it! Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.COM' at the end of the autoexec.nt file and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes. About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer. Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking. Technician: Well, what version of Windows are you using? Customer: Windows NT Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of Windows doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out. When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again. Customer: I need a new power supply. Technician: How did you come to that conclusion? Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power supply. Technician: What did he tell you? Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE. ____________________________________________________
Native American trail markers.

Today on June 2
1537 Pope Paul III banned the enslavement of Indians.
1774 The Quartering Act, which required American colonists 
to allow British soldiers into their houses, was reenacted.
1793 Maximillian Robespierre initiated the "Reign of Terror". 
 It was an effort to purge those suspected of treason 
 against the French Republic.
1851 Maine became the first U.S. state to enact a law 
 prohibiting alcohol.
1883 The first baseball game under electric lights was 
 played in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
1896 Guglieimo Marconi's radio was patented in the U.S.
1897 Mark Twain, at age 61, was quoted by the New York 
 Journal as saying "the report of my death was an 
 exaggeration." He was responding to the rumors that 
 he had died.
1924 All American Indians were granted U.S. citizenship 
 by the U.S. Congress.
1928 Nationalist Chiang Kai-shek captured Peking, China.
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt accepted the 
first swimming pool to be built inside the White House.
1946 Italians voted by referendum to form a republic 
 instead of a monarchy.
1953 Elizabeth was crowned queen of England at 
 Westminster Abbey.
1954 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that there 
 were communists working in the CIA and atomic weapons plants.
1966 Surveyor 1, the U.S. space probe, landed on the moon and 
 started sending photographs back to Earth of the Moon's 
 surface. It was the first soft landing on the Moon.
1969 Australian aircraft carrier Melbourne sliced the 
 destroyer USS Frank E. Evans in half off the shore of 
 South Vietnam.
1979 Pope John Paul II arrived in his native Poland on 
 the first visit by a pope to a Communist country.
1995 Captain Scott F. O'Grady's U.S. Air Force F-16C 
 was shot down by Bosnian Serbs. He was rescued six days later.
1998 Royal Caribbean Cruises agreed to pay $9 million to settle 
 charges of dumping waste at sea.
1998 Voters in California passed Proposition 227. The act 
 abolished the state's 30-year-old bilingual education 
program by requiring that all children be taught in English.
2003 In Seville, Spain, a chest containing the supposed
remains of Christopher Columbus were exhumed for DNA tests to
determine  whether the bones were really those of the
explorer. The tests were aimed at determining if Colombus was
currently buried in Spain's Seville Cathedral or in Santo
Domingo in the Dominican Republic.
2016  smiled.


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Playing flash on XP 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, June 1

Tomorrow I have to go to  Calgary for injections into 
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 3 stooges, who robbed a bank while on vacation, made their getaway in a taxi Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 1, in 1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric voting machine. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining? --- George Wallace By definition, a government has no conscience, sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more. --- Albert Camus (1913-1960) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than normal. Later, at the door, shaking hands with parishioners as they moved out, one man said, "Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful - so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing." The minister of course, broke out in a big smile, only to hear the man say, "I felt like a new man when I woke up!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
I was the last to leave the office one Friday evening and managed to lock myself out without my jacket and wallet. Kneeling in a deserted hallway to try picking an electronic lock with a paper clip, I heard the seam of my suit trousers rip apart. About then I realized I needed a screwdriver to remove the lock plate, and said so, aloud. Seconds later the elevator doors next to my office opened, revealing a screwdriver in the middle of the floor. There was a crackle from the wall speaker next to the elevator. "This is security," said a sexy female voice. "There's your screwdriver. Sorry, but I don't have a needle or thread for your pants!" ----------------- Bet you that screwdriver did not help him with neither the lock nor the pants. The screws on the outside are dummies that are only intended to keep a wannabe intruder busy long enough, so that building security can call the cops or find a big stick. ______________________________________________________ The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way: The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING! ______________________________________________________ Reginali ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 3 stooges rob a bank while on vacation, make their getaway in a taxi A daring bank robbery ended in the arrests of three Illinois vacationers. It happened Saturday morning at Fifth Third Bank in Fort Myers off Summerlin Road. Lee County Sheriff's deputies said the three suspects stole money from the bank then took off in a vehicle that stood out like a sore thumb - a taxi cab. Those suspects were identified as Bret Strusiner, 43; Paul Paynter, 52; and Karen Bajoras, 43. All three were caught not long after the crime and charged with second-degree felony robbery. At their first court appearance on Sunday, Bajoras was given $250,000 bond, while Strusiner and Paynter were given $500,000 bond. If any of them bond out, they'll have to wear a GPS ankle bracelet and have no contact with the co- defendants. Eyewitnesses who were dining next door at Ruby Tuesday when the robbery happened said the taxi was actually parked at the restaurant during the crime. Deputies said the suspects forced their way into the bank and stole an undisclosed amount of money from the bank before racing back to the taxi for a getaway. The theft set off a dye pack attached to the cash, some of which was left scattered on the road. "It's pretty obvious that it's stolen money, so they'd have a very difficult time spending it," said Cameron McLean, a former Fort Myers Police officer. The brazen attempt to make a quick escape is shocking many people in the community. "It's not the usual profile for someone who's looking to rob a bank in the middle of the day, which is a very risky thing to do," said McClean. McLean's wife, Kelly, agrees. "People always think that they're not gonna get caught and obviously these people did very quickly." All of the suspects in this case will make a second court appearance on June 27th. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Penne RE: Copying CDs Dear Webby Hello Webby, Have been receiving your newsletter for such a long time and found so many interesting tips -- for which I wish to THANK you so much. Today I have two questions and are sure you will be able to help me. 1. When I want to play certain videos my clever computer tells me I do not have the correct or up to date Flash Player, but it is updating all the time. What do you suggest I do? 2. Wanting to Rip a factory made CD, the cuts do not appear on the burned CD as on the bought one, the songs are not in the same order. Do I need some new program? Using a windows XP computer. Hope to hear from you soon. Pennie Dear Penne 1) Your Adobe Flash player might be up to date, but some videos and music CDs and DVDs require a license or code. Check with that web site. 2) My CD player died five years ago, so I am not really up to date with that, and actually have never tried ripping a bought CD. On my XP I had a program by NERO, that was theoretically able to make identical copies of CDs. I found this info on the net: How to duplicate CDs on an XP You need a program made for that. Perhaps you have it already. Common are versions Nero and Roxio. These will have a CD duplication utility. Nero has a free version. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A customer at Morris' Gourmet Delicatessen marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Morris replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Morris. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough, " says Morris. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Morris," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Candles from Old Wax By helen [70 Posts, 81 Comments] I am making candles from left over candle wax. Does anyone know an alternative way to get rich colour in them apart from buying candle dyes? Many thanks. Helen By h.arnott from U.K Koolaid usually works as a good dye too Liz Just pop a wax crayon into the candlewax when melting - you will be surprised at the rich colour that results! I put some essential oil into the wax too, so that I get a lovely smell when they burn. By merry woods [1 Post, 48 Comments] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One day, Paul Smith decided to go to a new golf course where no one knew him, just to get away and see if he could do better elsewhere. He hired a caddy to guide him around the course. After another day of slices, duff shots, misread putts and bad temper, he was obviously upset. He turned to the caddy and said, "You know I must be the worst golfer in the world." The caddy replied, "nah, I don't think so. I have heard there is a guy named Paul Smith from across town who apparently has already been named the world's worst player!" ___________________________________________________
she sat and smiled at strangers - moving
____________________________________________________ A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said to the judge: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up." ____________________________________________________ The construction foreman ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered the worker. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. "Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" ____________________________________________________
Native American trail markers.

Today on June 1
1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII’s new queen, was crowned.
1774 The British government ordered the Port of Boston closed.
1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric 
 voting machine.
1877 U.S. troops were authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico
1915 Germany conducted the first zeppelin air raid over England.
1916 The National Defense Act increased the strength of the 
 U.S. National Guard by 450,000 men.
1921 A race riot erupted in Tulsa, OKlahoma. 85 people were 
 killed.
1935 The Ingersoll-Waterbury Company reported that it had 
 produced 2.5 million Mickey Mouse watches during its 
 2-year association with Disney.
1938 Baseball helmets were worn for the first time.
1939 The Douglas DC-4 made its first passenger flight from 
 Chicago to New York.
1941 The German Army completed the capture of Crete 
 as the Allied evacuation ended.
1942 The U.S. began sending Lend-Lease materials to the 
 Soviet Union.
1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico.
1958 Charles de Gaulle became the premier of France.
1963 Governor George Wallace vowed to defy an injunction 
 that ordered the integration of the University of Alabama.
1970 Zimbabwe came into existence. It was formerly known 
 as Rhodesia.
1998 A $124 million suit was brought against Goodyear Tire 
 & Rubber that alleged discrimination towards black workers.
2008 The Phoenix Mars Lander became the first NASA spacecraft 
 to scoop Martian soil.
2009 General Motors filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. 
2016  smiled.


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Crap Cleaner 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, May 3

June 2nd I have to go to  Calgary for injections into 
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Indiana man arrested after drinking rubbing alcohol, threatening nephews, waving sword at deputies Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 31, in 1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. --- Anais Nin (1903 - 1977) An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Rita When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A farmer & his hired man were eating breakfast at the local diner. Thinking of all the work they had to get done that day, the farmer told the hired man he might as well go ahead & eat his dinner too. The hired man didn't say a word, but filled his plate a second time & proceeded to eat. After awhile the farmer said, "We've got so much work to do today, you might as well eat your supper now too." Again, the hired man didn't respond but refilled his plate a third time & continued to eat. Finally, after eating his third plate of food, the hired man pushed back his chair & began to take off his shoes. "What are you doing?" the farmer asked. The hired man replied, "I don't work after supper." ______________________________________________________ "Louisa, could you help me with my math homework?" asked her younger brother. Certainly not," replied Louisa indignantly. "It wouldn't be right." "Probably not," said her brother, "but you could at least try and show me how you faked it !" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Natalike for this picture: Natalie's Epiphylum ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Indiana man arrested after drinking rubbing alcohol, threatening nephews, waving sword at deputies Harley Pasley, 23, Taylorsville, Indiana Deputies arrested a man who allegedly waved a sword at them after drinking rubbing alcohol. On Monday just after 7:30 p.m., Bartholomew County sheriff’s deputies responded to a 911 call about domestic battery. The caller told police her brother, 23-year-old Harley Pasley of Taylorsville, was intoxicated and causing a disturbance. She said Pasley had cut her hand with glass and was threatening to hurt his nephews, ages 2 and 8. A deputy was told on the scene that Pasley had been drinking rubbing alcohol and had gone to a storage building outside. The deputy went out and said Pasley leaned out holding a cutlass sword. He allegedly began swinging it and yelling at deputies. Pasley came outside the the deputies had him at gunpoint. He refused to drop the sword at first, but eventually complied. Police say when Pasley dropped to his knees again, he reached for the sword. A deputy used his Taser at that time but it was not effective. They eventually got the sword away from Pasley and took him into custody. He was transported to Columbus Regional Hospital to be evaluated for consuming rubbing alcohol. He was then taken to the Batholomew County Jail on charges of battery and interfering with a 911 call. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ross RE: CrapCleaner Dear Webby Is CrapCleaner still around? Ross Dear Ross Yes, sure! It is still at http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner And of course also still on my toolbox page at http://webby.com/tools Just scroll down. Over the years, CrapCleaner has gotten even better, and is still the first tool to use when your machine slows down. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly from sca-ace, endange-ad animahs, instead of fahm gwown choptick wood. In old time ony litch sumbitch bigshot use ivoly choptick to make shua wood was not poisoned." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Question: Rotary Tool (Dremel) Crafts By Kathleen Champlain [1 Post] Are there any Dremel tool projects on line? Can someone help by recommending a site? By Kathleen from Broomfield, CO By Lisa [2 Posts, 656 Comments] Flag December 21, 2010 Have you checked the Dremel website? I looked there a few months ago, and I feel like I saw quite a few projects. Also, there might be videos on youtube if you do a search. I've been using ours with the flex shaft attachment to polish some of the jewelry I make. Probably not as good as the dedicated flex shafts available to jewelry makers, but since we already had the equipment, it works for me! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Dear Webby,The joke about the kid wanting money reminded me of my little brother who was always "borrowing" money and never remembered to pay it back. Soon everyone learned to say they didn't have any if he asked to borrow money , then one night he asked me if I had change for a twenty dollar bill, so, like a fool I said yes . He said "Can I borrow it." I just had to thump him, for his own good. ___________________________________________________
she sat and smiled at strangers - moving
____________________________________________________ A doctor in Oklahoma recently made a seriously incorrect diagnosis. He treated a patient for a cold before learning the guy could afford a virus and a flu. ____________________________________________________ While on their honeymoon Judy told her new husband: "Dear, don't expect the first few meals to be great. It takes time to find the right restaurant.” ____________________________________________________
May- Best of the Month.....PEOPLE ARE AWESOME!

Today on May 31
1433 Sigismund was crowned emperor of Rome.
1859 In London, Big Ben went into operation.
1870 E.J. DeSemdt patented asphalt.
1884 Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented "flaked cereal."
1889 In Johnstown, PA, more than 2,200 people died after 
 the South Fork Dam collapsed.
1900 U.S. troops arrived in Peking to help put down the 
 Boxer Rebellion.
1902 The Boer War ended between the Boers of South Africa 
 and Great Britain with the Treaty of Vereeniging.
1907 The first taxis arrived in New York City. They were 
 the first taxis in the United States.
1910 The Union of South Africa was founded.
1913 The 17th Amendment went into effect. It provided for 
 popular election of U.S. senators.
1915 A German zeppelin made an air raid on London.
1927 Ford Motor Company produced the last "Tin Lizzie" 
 in order to begin production of the Model A.
1947 Communists seized control of Hungary.
1961 South Africa became an independent republic.
1962 Adolf Eichmann was hanged in Israel. Eichmann was a 
 Gestapo official.
1970 An earthquake in Peru killed tens of thousands of people.
1974 Israel and Syria signed an agreement on the Golan Heights.
1977 The trans-Alaska oil pipeline was finished after 3 
 years of construction.
1979 Zimbabwe proclaimed its independence.
1994 The U.S. announced it was no longer aiming long-range 
 nuclear missiles at targets in the former Soviet Union.
1995 Bob Dole singled out Time Warner for "the marketing 
 of evil" in movies and music. Dole later admitted that he 
 had not seen or heard much of what he had been criticizing.
2003 In North Carolina, Eric Robert Rudolph was captured. 
 He had been on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list for five years 
 for several bombings including the 1996 Olympic bombing.
2016  smiled.


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List of shortcuts 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, May 30

Grateful Memorial Day!


June 2nd I have to go to  Calgary for injections into 
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Auburn,Washington man, who hit his wife with the getaway car as she was being chased by loss prevention officers. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 30, in 1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Ann My kids never understood my logic. They totally failed to see why they had to go to bed when I was tired.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to pretend to listen to all of them!" ______________________________________________________ A woman approached the minister after the sermon, and thanked him for his discourse. "I found it so helpful," she said. The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful as the last sermon you heard me preach." "Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman. "Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three years." ______________________________________________________ Meteora in Kalabaka, Greece ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Auburn man hits wife with getaway car as she is being chased by loss prevention officers. Ernest Price, 49, Cynthia Cornethan, 49, Auburn, Washington. A husband hit his wife with his pickup in a department-store parking lot in Redmond, thwarting the couple’s attempt to make off with stolen merchandise, according to King County prosecutors. A shoplifting excursion to the Kohl’s store in Redmond didn’t go as planned for a trio of thieves, even though two women managed to carry out more than $750 worth of merchandise in foil-lined shopping bags, according to King County prosecutors. One member of the alleged shoplifting team dropped the bags containing perfume, clothing, shoes and other items, along with her purse and ID, when her husband hit her with their pickup as the getaway went awry, charging papers say. The husband had intended to run down the store’s pursuing loss-prevention officer, who jumped out of the way, and the truck plowed into the driver’s wife instead, according to the documents. The wife and a second woman got in the truck, and the three sped off, according to the charges filed for the Nov. 11 incident. The suspected driver, 49-year-old Ernest Price, of Auburn, was arrested on a warrant and booked into the Maleng Regional Justice Center in Kent on Thursday, jail and court records show. Charged with second-degree assault and second- degree theft, Price is being held in lieu of $50,000 bail. His wife, Cynthia Cornethan, also 49, is wanted on a warrant for second-degree theft. She is also wanted on a bench warrant for a 2015 felony drug case, court records show. The couple’s female accomplice has not been identified, charging papers say. Price, Cornethan and the other woman walked into the Kohl’s store on Union Hill Road, but Price left while the two women stuffed items in the shopping bags, which were “lined with foil to defeat the security system.” The women ran through an emergency exit and were chased by the loss-prevention officer. He tried to stop them in the parking lot when Price accelerated his truck toward the officer. The officer jumped out of the way and was struck in the leg, but apparently was not seriously injured. Price “very easily could have killed someone or caused more serious injury,” Deputy Prosecutor Jessica Manca wrote in charging documents. “His actions demonstrate he is willing to use violence to further his criminal activities.” Price has an “extensive” criminal history in Washington, including felony convictions for drug possession, taking a motor vehicle, forgery and assault, as well as seven felony convictions in Minnesota, charging papers say. Since 1995, warrants have been issued for his arrest 39 times in King County, the papers say. As of 2007, Cornethan had 91 warrants issued for her arrest since 1984, say the charges. She has been convicted on 25 theft charges in the past 27 years, most of them gross misdemeanors, though she also has felony convictions for forgery, identity theft and drug possession, court records show. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ray RE: Shortcuts Dear Webby I hope you do well with your injections. Sounds painful. I wish I had been keeping track of all the shortcuts you have suggested over the years like the most recent one to get to Disk cleanup. Is there somewhere on your site where I can get these "shortcuts"? Always appreciate your mails. Ray Dear Ray Since Windows 3.1 there have been way too many shortcuts, and not all of them still work in newer versions of Windows. Just write and ask about what trick to use for whatever you want to do. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A math teacher is instructing her class in multiplication and gives the students a problem to solve. "Now class," she says. "We know there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. So who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?" All the kids look baffled by the question except one little fellow sitting in the back row. He raises his hand and waves it excitedly, and the teacher points to him. "All right, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asks. "Twelve, ma'am," the little fellow says brightly. "January second, February second, March second ..." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Angel Biscuits By Roxanne [6 Posts, 1 Comment] These have a wonderful, fresh yeast taste; very light and folks think you took a long time to make them Ingredients: 1 package dry yeast or 1 1/2 Tbsp. dry yeast 3 tsp. warm water 5 cups flour 1 tsp. salt 1/4 cup sugar 1 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup shortening 2 cups buttermilk, make sour milk by adding 2 Tbsp. vinegar or lemon juice to regular milk Directions: Dissolve yeast in warm water and set aside. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Combine all dry ingredients. Cut in shortening until resembles coarse corn meal. Add yeast mixture and buttermilk. Turn dough onto a well floured surface. Knead dough 1 minute. Roll or pat dough out 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick and cut into 3 inch sized biscuits. Bake for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Note: This dough can be stored in the refrigerator up to 1 week so you can have fresh biscuits when you want them. Time: 20 Minutes Preparation Time 15 Minutes Cooking Time Source: My mom made these when she didn't have time to make the regular yeast rolls. By Roxanne from Terre Haute, IN ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There was this gracious lady mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady. ___________________________________________________
And some gave all. I am so thankful
____________________________________________________ Thanks to the folks from Erie for this one: Well, it seems these two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided they should go to college so they could get ahead. Bubba went in first, and the professor advises him to take Math, History, and Logic. "Whass Logic?" Bubba asked. "Well, let me give you an example," said the professor. "Do you own a weed-eater?" "Sure do," the redneck responded. "Okay. Then I assume, using logic, that you have a yard," the professor went on. "That's real good," said the redneck, in awe. "Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you also have a house. Is that right?" "GAWL-LEE!" the redneck shouted. "And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife. Right?" "Betty Mae! This is incredible!" Bubba is catching on now. "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume you are heterosexual rather than homosexual. Is that right?" "You are absolutely darn right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thang I ever heerd of. I can't wait to take this here logic class!" Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin"? Cooter asks. "Math, History, and Logic," replied Bubba. "What in tarnation is logic?" asks Cooter. "Let me give you an example," Bubba says. "Do you own a weed- eater?" "No," says Cooter, "but my wife has two." "You're Queer, aintcha?" ____________________________________________________ >From Erin On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me." ____________________________________________________
Let's all remember our Military Veterans past, present and future, today.

Today on May 30
1416 Jerome of Prague was burned as a heretic by the Church. 
1431 Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in Rouen, France, at the age of 19. 
1527 The University of Marburg was founded in Germany. 
1539 Hernando de Soto, the Spanish explorer, landed in Florida with 600 soldiers to search for gold. 
1814 The First Treaty of Paris was declared, which returned
 France to its 1792 borders. 
1848 W.G. Young patented the ice cream freezer. 
1854 The U.S. territories of Nebraska and Kansas were 
 established. 
1868 Memorial Day was observed widely for the first time in 
 the U.S. 
1879 William Vanderbilt renamed New York City's Gilmore’s
 Garden to Madison Square Garden. 
1883 Twelve people were trampled to death in New York City 
 in a stampede when a rumor that the Brooklyn Bridge was in 
 danger of collapsing occurred. 
1896 The first automobile accident occurred in New York
 City. 
1903 In Riverdale, NY, the first American motorcycle hill climb was held. 
1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis 500. At the 
time, it was known as International 500-Mile Sweepstakes 
Race. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles per hour. 
1912 The U.S. Marines were sent to Nicaragua to protect 
American interests. 
1913 The First Balkan War ended. 
1921 The U.S. Navy transferred the Teapot Dome oil reserves 
to the Department of the Interior. 
1922 The Lincoln Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 
1933 Sally Rand introduced her exotic and erotic fan dance
 to audiences at Chicago’s Century of Progress Exposition. 
1943 American forces secured the Aleutian island of Attu 
 from the Japanese during World War II. 
1958 Unidentified soldiers killed in World War II and the  
Korean conflicts were buried at Arlington National Cemetery. 
1967 Daredevil Evel Knievel jumped 16 automobiles in a row 
in a motorcycle stunt at Ascot Speedway in Gardena, CA. 
1967 The state of Biafra seceded from Nigeria and Civil war 
erupted. 
1971 Mariner 9, the American deep space probe blasted off on 
a journey to Mars. 
1981 In Chittagong, Bangladesh, President Ziaur Rahman was 
assassinated. 
1982 Spain became the 16th NATO member. Spain was the first 
country to enter the Western alliance since West Germany in 
1955. 
1983 Peru's President Fernando Belaunde Terry declared a 
state of emergency and suspended civil rights after bombings 
by leftist rebels. 
1989 The "Goddess of Democracy" statue (33 feet height) was 
erected in Tiananmen Square by student demonstrators. 
1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson were granted 
an uncontested decree ending their 10-year marriage. 
1997 Jesse K. Timmendequas was convicted in Trenton, NJ, of 
raping and strangling a 7-year-old neighbor, Megan Kanka. 
The 1994 murder inspired "Megan's Law," requiring that 
communities be notified when sex offenders move in. 
1998 A powerful earthquake hit northern Afghanistan killing 
up to 5,000. 
2002 In New York, a ceremony was held to officially mark the 
end of the clean up from the World Trade Center terrorist 
attacks on September 11, 2001. 
2012 New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced the 
Portion Cap Rule. The proposed amendment to the city health 
code would have required that food service establishments 
limit the size of sugary beverages to 16 ounces. On June 26, 
2014, the New York Court of Appeals ruled that the New York 
City Board of Health had exceeded the scope of its 
regulatory authority.
2016  smiled.


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Temporary Internet Files 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, May 29

June 2nd I have to go to  Calgary for injections into 
my eyeballs. There won't be any newsletters sent out on
June 3, 4 and 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NY Woman, who crashed car, went to nearby home for help. When police arrived, she ran off into the woods and fell off a cliff down 60 feet. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 29, in 1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, ending the Byzantine (Eastern half of Roman) Empire. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Traditions are a cozy way to ensure that the smart people don't have to learn everything the hard way. --- Socratex In a new interview, Uma Thurman says that when she wants to lose weight, she keeps her food intake down by eating in the nude. Actually, I tried that once, but I was kicked out of Denny's. ---Conan O'Brien _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
>From Alex One night at about 3am my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side. The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bath- room. ______________________________________________________ >From Susan During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying---until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking if the old fart was awake. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by NY Woman, who crashed car, went to nearby home for help. When police arrived, she ran off into the woods and fell off a cliff down 60 feet. Erika A. Barkman, 38, Voorheesville, New York The Albany County Sheriff’s Office coordinated a rope rescue at a 60-foot cliff in John Boyd Thacher State Park on Tuesday night, after a woman crashed her car against a guardrail, sought help from a nearby residence, then ran away and fell off a cliff. Erika A. Barkman, 38, of Voorheesville, was rescued while conscious and taken to Albany Medical Center. According to a hospital representative, no information about Barkman was available on Wednesday. The rescue took two hours, and began after police found the woman’s car just before 9 p.m. The bumper was missing from the front of the vehicle. An 8:49 p.m. report of an accident led sheriff’s deputies to find a green 1996 Volvo crashed into a guardrail on Thacher Park Road, its front end damaged, said a release from the sheriff's office. A witness at the scene said the driver had been tailgating and driving erratically before the crash and that she had asked the witness for help in finding her cell phone, the release said. “The witness stated the operator did not appear to be injured but was stumbling around and then climbed over the guide rail and fled into the woods,” the release said. The sheriff’s communication center then got a call from a Thacher Park Road resident saying a woman came to his door, asking for help and smelling like alcohol, the release says; she told the resident she was being “chased by cops.” When sheriff’s deputies arrived at the home, Barkman “fled into the woods,” the release says; a police dog began tracking her from the home through the woods to the edge of a cliff. “Sheriff’s deputies began yelling Erika’s name and they could hear her calling for help from the bottom of the cliff, but they were unable to see her,” the release says. The sheriff’s search and rescue unit was then called to lift her from the bottom of the cliff, the release says; once she was found, she was loaded into a rescue basket and hauled back up the cliff. Barkman was taken to Albany Medical Center by the Onesquethaw Ambulance Squad for non-life-threatening injuries sustained in the fall. “A lot of lives got put to risk tonight,” said Sheriff Craig Apple at a press conference Tuesday. He said that the police will “find out if alcohol was involved — what exactly was going on — and take it from there.” The car crash is still being investigated and officials believe alcohol may have been a contributing factor. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon S RE: Cleaning temporary Internet files Dear Webby in today's tech dept question re music that fades in & out occasionally, you mentioned cleaning out temporary internet file. Is that the same as deleting cookies? If so can you please tell me again how to do it. How often should it be done? Is rebooting the same as restart after doing this? Sharon S Dear Sharon Cookies are just some of the temporary Internet files. They are the smallest ones. To clear all temporary Internet files open the File Explorer: Windows Key E Highlight and right-click the C: drive Properties TAB, ENTER (or click on Disk Cleanup) Hit OK. Rebooting and restarting, yes, on Windows those two mean the same. How often? That depends on the machine and the type of work you do with it. Just do it whenever things slow down. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Teacher: Lucille, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a sentence. Lucille: De horse run across de field, and defeat went over defence before detail. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Banana Peels and Tea Bags for Roses By MELISSA [2 Posts, 2 Comments] Give your rose bushes your used tea bags and banana peels. They will love you for it. Also hydrangeas will love your water from when you boil potatoes. You can also use the potato peels at the bottom of your plants. By tennis4two from Madison, IN ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The showers in Jane's daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time they flushed the toilets. During one of her daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. Jane was explaining how her daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly they heard the daughter call out from the bathroom, "Flushing!" "Good grief," said Jane's friend, "How much more do you want to know?" ___________________________________________________
kid recites NT books with surprise
____________________________________________________ A young minister, in his first days at his first parish, is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home, he stands before the open casket and tries to think of words to console the widow. Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is only the husk, the shell. The nut has gone to heaven." ____________________________________________________ An extremely shy fellow brought his date a bouquet of flowers. She was so overcome she threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard. After the kiss, red-faced, he turned and bolted for the door. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't," he replied. "I'm just running down to the cemetery for more flowers." ____________________________________________________
A different sort of sand art.

Today on May 29
1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, 
 ending the Byzantine (Eastern half of Roman) Empire.
1660 Charles II was restored to the English throne 
 after the Puritan Commonwealth.
1765 Patrick Henry denounced the Stamp Act before 
 Virginia's House of Burgesses.
1849 A patent for lifting vessels was granted to Abe  Lincoln.
1910 An airplane raced a train from Albany, NY, to New York City.
 The airplane pilot Glenn Curtiss won the $10,000 prize.
1911 The first running of the Indianapolis 500 took place.
1912 Fifteen women were dismissed from their jobs at the 
 Curtis Publishing Company in Philadelphia, PA, for 
 dancing the Turkey Trot while on the job.
1916 U.S. forces invaded Dominican Republic and remained 
 until 1924.
1922 Ecuador became independent.
1932 World War I veterans began arriving in Washington, DC. 
 to demand cash bonuses they were not scheduled to receive 
 for another 13 years.
1951 C.F. Blair became the first man to fly over the 
 North Pole in single engine plane.
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became 
 first men to reach the top of Mount Everest and live.
1985 Thirty-nine people were killed and 400 were injured 
 in a riot at a European Cup soccer match in Brussels, Belgium.
1986 Colonel Oliver North told National Security Advisor 
 William McFarlane that profits from weapons sold to 
 Iran were being diverted to the Contras.
1988 U.S. President Reagan began his first visit to the 
 Soviet Union in Moscow.
1999 Space shuttle Discovery completed the first 
 docking with the International Space Station.
2000 Fiji's military took control of the nation and 
 declared martial law following a coup attempt by 
 indigenous Fijians in mid-May.
2001 In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden 
 were convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans. 
 The crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S. 
 embassies in Africa that killed 224 people.
2001 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer 
 Casey Martin could use a cart to ride in tournaments.
2016  smiled.


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Intermittent sound probloems 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, May 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh Woman, who records herself on video buying cocaine and then shows it to the police. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 26, in 1647 Achsah Young, a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed for being a "witch." 1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for being Baptists. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I am not young enough to know everything. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Ella On a curvy mountain highway late one night, my dad was com- plaining about the car behind us. "That guy must be drunk!" he said. "Every time I move over to let him pass, he slows down. When I get back on the road, he gets closer and stays on my tail." A few minutes later, the car turned on a set of flashing blue lights. Coming up to our window, the officer said, "Sir, I'd like you to take an alcohol test. You've been swerving on and off the road for the last fifteen minutes!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
> from Roland Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside onto the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you." ______________________________________________________ How do you get 10 sweet little 80-year-old ladies to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!" ______________________________________________________ Hanging Glacier Queulat National Park Chile ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Floriduh Woman records herself on video buying cocaine and then shows it to the police. Kathleen Laroche, 27, Fort Pierce, Florida, If you just bought cocaine and recorded the drug deal on your own dashcam video, it might not be a good idea to show the footage to the sheriff’s deputy who pulled you over for erratic driving without a license. But that’s just what Kathleen Laroche, 27, did May 12 in Fort Pierce, according to arrest affidavits. The case began as St. Lucie County sheriff’s investigators traveled south on South 25th Street at Edwards Road and a Ford Focus sped past them. They stopped the vehicle, which Laroche was driving. Laroche apologized for weaving and speeding, and said she didn’t have a license because it was suspended. Laroche was arrested on a driving on a suspended license charge. One of the investigators noticed a dashcam type camera that was recording, and asked about the video quality. He asked if he could see the video, and Laroche said he could. “(The detective) saw that the video captured Laroche purchasing cocaine just prior to the traffic stop,” an affidavit states. Noting the accused drug seller, the detective went back to the spot and spoke to the seller, identified as 43-year-old William Hills. The investigator told Hills he’d just seen him sell Laroche cocaine on video. Hills fessed up to selling $30 worth of the drug. Laroche told investigators the cocaine was in her brassiere. A spoon with blood and drug residue on it was in her purse. Laroche, of Port St. Lucie, also was arrested on charges of cocaine possession, cocaine purchasing and possession of drug equipment. Hills, of Fort Pierce, was arrested on a cocaine selling charge. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Drew RE: Intermittent sound problems Dear Webby On occasion, when running a program, I lose the sound for a while and sometimes it comes back on. What can cause this and what can I do to prevent it from happening again? This occurs when I am playing games or running a child's program for my Granddaughter. Drew Dear Drew One possibility is a bad speaker cord or plug. That is the most common. Another is that you need to clean out your tmporary Internet files and spybots and reboot. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ At a nursing home a group of seniors were sitting around a coffee shop in Miami, talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my coffee." "I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third. "What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!" "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several nodded weakly in agreement. "My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another. "I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another. "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement. "Well, count your blessings," said one woman cheerfully "and thank God we can all still drive". ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Caring for Cast Iron Cookware If the rust is a bit deep get some sandpaper and try to remove it. After removal of the rust, clean it well with soap and water, then dry it. Brush some vegetable oil on it and heat in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes. Remove and let cool. Then reapply more oil and heat for another 30 minutes. If the rust is only topical then you can rub it out using equal parts vegetable oil and salt. Then follow the instructions for the seasoning and heating from above. Good luck! By Tahloolabelle [36 Posts, 90 Comments] I knew an old Swiss Chef, who would have gotten VERY violent if somebody did that to his frying pans. He always used warm water and if necessary some salt to scour cast iron pans. After that he always immediately dried and heated them, and re-seasoned them with whatever was handy, a bacon rind, butter, or oil, and heated them until they started to smoke. His pans were slick enough to flip pancakes, omlettes, crepes, quiche, even fish. He came over from Switzerland every summer to fish, and even built a cabin near my place in the Yukon. He grew a very nice garden and fished every day until he died, while fishing. Sandpaper is silly. It just cleans the high spots. Rust is usually in the pits and pores of neglected pans. Salt or fine sand scrubs it out nicely, or even a brass suede brush. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son." "OK: He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery." "How can you say all that without even meeting him?" "I thought you said he's 13?" ___________________________________________________
dog rats out sister
____________________________________________________ When Bill and Sue were getting married, they wanted to add a touch of Sue's home state, Kansas, to the wedding. Bill explained this to a friend and said that they were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony. His friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho." ____________________________________________________ After shopping at a busy store, Mary and another woman happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding their cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then Mary's car horn beeped, and she was able to locate her vehicle easily. Wow," the other woman said. "I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find my car." "Actually," I replied, "that was my husband who honked the horn when he saw me walking off in the wrong direction." ____________________________________________________
The 20 best photos of the month that you just can't take your eyes off of.

Today on May 27
1647 Achsah Young, a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed 
 for being a "witch."
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for 
 being Baptists.
1896 255 people were killed in St. Louis, MO, by a tornado.
1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco.
1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first transatlantic 
 flight.
1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the 
 stratosphere, by balloon.
1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to 
 pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco 
 and Marin County.
1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an 
 "unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions.
1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British 
 naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed.
1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive 
 in Libya with his Afrika Korps.
1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey.
1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center 
 in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10.
1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96 
 industrial goods.
1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds 
 from the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century.
1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire 
 to the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader 
 of the rebels.
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment 
 suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President 
 Clinton was in office.
1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for 
 not warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City 
 federal building.
1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted 
 Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo. 
2016  smiled.


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Deceptive W10 Pop-Up explained 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, May 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia mom arrested for sitting on toddler’s head for one hour. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 26, in 1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. --- Jascha Heifetz (1901 - 1987) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. "I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." "I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life." His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?" "Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, you'd gone fishing."
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An attractive young girl, chaperoned by a rather scary looking older woman, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination" said the young girl. "All right," smiled the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me" said the girl. "It's my aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue and say AHH." ______________________________________________________ An man remarks, "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?" "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible," replies his wife, "I look at your picture and the problem becomes relatively insignificant." "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?" says the man. "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'Just how bad is this problem, ...... compared to him?'" ______________________________________________________ Fox pups at the end of my street ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Georgia mom arrested for sitting on toddler’s head for one hour Susan Elizabeth Kelley, Kennesaw, Georgia A Kennesaw woman was arrested after police said she sat on her 2-year-old son’s head for an hour. Susan Elizabeth Kelley placed her son’s head on the seat portion of a wooden dining room chair with a towel placed under the child’s head, according to a warrant obtained Monday by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “The accused sat on the child’s head, with full body weight, for approximately 1 hour in an attempt to gain ‘submission’ from the child,” according to the warrant. The child, who had redness on his head, chest and back, became unresponsive and was taken to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta at Egleston. He is expected to make a full recovery, according to the warrant. Kelley was arrested on a charge of first degree cruelty to children. She was released from the Cobb County Adult Detention Center on $55,220 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Michael RE: Microsoft has admitted that they are mugging Dear Webby Microsoft has admitted that the W10 Pop-Ups are deceptive and "X"ing out of them is treated as approving the installation of W10. Michael Dear Michael Yes, the Department of Sleaze has indeed been getting scared of Archie Bunker, Jr. and very desperate. They want everybody enslaved by W10 before the election gets serious. Their newest sleazy trick is that infamous W10 Pop-Up. Ever since Windows 1 the X in the right hand top corner has meant: "Stop! Don't do anything! Just get me outa here!" Now, when everybody has been trained to that, and the term "X-ing out of there" has become part of the language, With the W10 Mugging Pop-Up it signals "Yes, Install W10" Do NOT hit the X unless you DO want W10 ! Click on the "here", that I circled in red. In the PopUp it is a yuppie style NOT underlined link, unlike the underlined compatibility report link further down. It is purposly almost hidden and hard to spot. Hit that "here" and set the W10 installation date to Feb 29, 2099 Please note: The "x out of here" perversion does not apply to anything else. All software and the rest of Windows use the "X" in the traditional way, like it has been used since Windows 1. Yes, I know that is extremely sleazy, but the Department of Sleaze is in a panic and freaking out about the thought, that you might escape. What is funny is that, as Cindy has found out, their legal department overrules the Department Of Sleaze. If you let it install W10, but at the end refuse to accept their terms and refuse to give all rights on everything including to not yet ordered pizza to Microsoft, then they un-install, take their marbles and waddle away in a pout. They may or may not try again, but setting the installation date to 2099 seems to work well. I did that years ago, and they have not bothered me since. Even funnier is that W10 is not really that bad. It is about as good as XP was before the Service Packs and works well enough. W10 is just klutzy and awkward because they use an awkward user interface designed by somebody's dopey niece. If you get the very popular third party Classic Shell, it is just as good as W7. So far over 15 Million people use Classic Shell. You can get it free at http://filehippo.com/download_classic_shell/ There are other shells available too, but Classic Shell is the best known and has a good forum. Hopefully Microsoft will use it in W11 or W12. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Ham With Pineapple By Vi Johnson [287 Posts, 800 Comments] Ingredients: 1 lb. sliced ham 1/2 cup pineapple juice 4 slices pineapple 12 marshmallows Directions: Bake ham for 30 minutes. Drain off fat. Cover ham with pineapple and juice. Bake in slow oven (325 degrees F) until ham is tender. Baste frequently. Turn pineapple and allow both sides to brown. Cover with marshmallows. Place in slow oven until marshmallows are puffed and slightly brown. Serve at once. Source: 1935 Household Searchlight Cook Book This recipe by Mrs. B.W. Alward, Erie, PA. By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jason was having a tough day and had stretched himself out on the couch to do a bit of what he thought to be well- deserved complaining and self-pitying. He moaned to his wife, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" His wife, busily occupied with other things, hardly looked up at and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Jason. Can't be everybody. Some people don't know you." ___________________________________________________
English Country Garden
____________________________________________________ Daughter: Mom, Can I have some money for a new dress? Mother: Go ask your father, dear. You are getting married in a month and you need the practise. ____________________________________________________ The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the story of George Washington chopping down his father's cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the truth. The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and the shocked child protested that George Washington had not been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!" --------------- That story inspired the Outhouse Races on Lakeelse Lake in northern BC in the 60's and early 70s. It seems the people living there now are not as adventurous as we used to be. Instead of paddling a 4 foot x 4 foot ( 1.2 m x 1.2 m ) raft with a 6 foot high outhouse on it across the lake, they now have a wine tasting party and raffle off a boat. ____________________________________________________
Eight beautiful cities that are starting to go car-free.

Today on May 26
0017 Germanicus of Rome celebrated his victory over the Germans.
1328 William of Ockham was forced to flee from Avignon
1521 Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms because 
 of his religious beliefs and writings.
1647 A new law banned Catholic priests from the colony of 
 Massachusetts. The penalty was banishment or death for 
 a second offense.
1660 King Charles II of England landed at Dover after being 
 exiled for nine years.
1670 A treaty was signed in secret in Dover, England, between 
 Charles II and Louis XIV ending the hostilities between them.
1736 The British and Chickasaw Indians defeated the French 
 at the Battle of Ackia.
1791 The French Assembly forced King Louis XVI to hand over 
 the crown and state assets.
1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan
1831 Russians defeated the Poles at battle of Ostrolenska.
1896 The last czar of Russia, Nicholas II, was crowned.
1908 In Persia, the first oil strike was made in the Middle East.
1913 Actors’ Equity Association was organized in New York City.
1940 The evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, began
1946 A patent was filed in the United States for an H-bomb.
1946 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill signed a military 
 pact with Russian leader Joseph Stalin.
1956 The first trailer bank opened for business in Locust Grove, 
 Long Island, NY. The 46-foot-long trailer took in $100,000 
 in deposits its first day.
1959 The word "Frisbee" became a registered trademark of Wham-O.
1961 A U.S. Air Force bomber flew across the Atlantic in a 
 record time of just over three hours.
1969 The Apollo 10 astronauts returned to Earth after a successful 
 eight-day dress rehearsal for the first manned moon landing.
1975 American stuntman Evel Knievel suffered severe spinal 
 injuries in Britain when he crashed while attempting to jump 
 13 buses in his car.
1977 George H. Willig was arrested after he scaled the 
 South Tower of New York's World Trade Center. It took him 
 3 1/2 hours.
1991 A Lauda Air Boeing 767 crashed in Thailand, killing all 
 223 people aboard.
1994 U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China, 
 and announced that his administration would no longer link 
 China's trade status with its human rights record. Since then our computers and components have been built in China.


2016  smiled.


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Best trick to revert after getting mugged by W10 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, May 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Mugger who got caught after his car did not start at the Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, Florida Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 25, in 585 BC The first known prediction of a solar eclipse was made in Greece. 1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him. --- Paul Eldridge I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't. --- Victor Borge _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, "Professor you're 44.." The Professor said, "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said, "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he is half crazy."
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My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me that he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." And my neighbor said, "Well, it's not really my ladder. It's actually my dad's." ______________________________________________________ SUE: "Karen, do you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?" KAREN: Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair. SUE: But your husband is still alive. KAREN: I know, but his hair is gone. ______________________________________________________ Pekin Robin ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 0 Mugger gets caught after his car won't start at the Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, Florida Edenson Major, 26, Belle Glade, Floriduh A Belle Glade man accused of a mugging at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino was arrested after his getaway car failed to start and he had to catch a ride from a passer-by, Seminole authorities said. Edenson Major, 26, was arrested in connection with a robbery that took place about noon Monday on the third floor of the Winner's Way parking garage at the casino near Hollywood, said spokesman Gary Bitner. Major allegedly walked up behind the 73-year-old, reached into the man's pocket and stole $1,895 in cash. The man fell and Major walked away, Bitner said. Surveillance video showed Major leaving the garage and walking toward a vehicle, which would not start. A passer-by offered to jump-start the vehicle, but then gave Major a ride to the intersection of Stirling Road and U.S. 441, leaving the disabled car behind, investigators said. Seminole police found the car in the parking lot and called its owner, who said he had loaned the car to Major, his cousin. Police arrested Major just before 3 p.m. Wednesday and charged him with robbery by sudden snatching, theft from a person 65 or older, and battery on a person 65 or older, records show. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cindy RE: Easiest way to deal with W10 mugging Dear Webby Hi, read your tip today about Windows 10 being installed without requesting it. Same happened to me today. I woke up to a screen telling me Windows 10 was now installed! After attempting to make it go away, including turning off my computer and restarting it, I finally clicked B>next which led to the legal talk wanting me to agree to their terms. I said “no” and it then re-installed my previous version automatically. Might help some others when it happens to them! As always, thanks for the fabulous computer wisdom you share with us. Cindy Dear Cindy Thank you very much for that tip! It is certainly the easiest method to get out from under the mugging. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. Liz replied: "Yeah, I can understand that. I feel that way too when I eat my hubby's cooking!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Opening Jars with Arthritic Hands I have arthritis in my hands and it is hard to open some jar lids. So I cut a square of rubber shelf lining to use on the lid . If it is stubborn, I put the jar under hot running water for just a few seconds, dry the lid and it works for me. By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three guys were standing around talking about dying when one asked, "What would you like people to say about you as they come to pay their last respects?" The second man said, "I hope they say I was a respected doctor in my field, a good family man, and had lots of friends." The third man said, "I hope they say I was a well spoken attorney, helped my fellow man, good citizen, and played a mean round of golf." The first man said, "That's probably what will be said of the two of you. My hope is that when they look down in my coffin they say, "Look...he's moving"! ___________________________________________________
Wall Street explained in 3 minutes
____________________________________________________ The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding doctor: "After the first, I'm tired, Doc. After the second, my chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-hour for my heart and respiration to return to normal." "Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor. "How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient. "I live on the third floor!" ____________________________________________________ Robert, age eight, was the son of strict Presbyterian parents. He was very, very good, worked hard at school, did his chores, and was generally helpful and obedient. But one morning, for some reason, he came down to breakfast in a very nasty mood. When his mother served him prunes, he snarled, "I don't want prunes," and he refused to eat them. His parents were aghast, and his father said, "Robert, you know that Lord commanded children to honor and obey their parents, and He will punish those who do not." But Robert still refused and was angrily sent back to bed, and the prunes were put in the refrigerator. A few minutes later, a terrible thunderstorm came up with great roars of thunder and flashes of lightning. "Ah, wonderful," said Robert's mother, "this will teach him a lesson." To their great surprise though, Robert came to the top of the stairs and called down: "Sounds like God doesn't want you to make such a fuss about some silly prunes!" ____________________________________________________
Take me to Australia! From some of the comments there is some misinformation in the picture identities, but the photos are gorgeous.

Today on May 25
585 BC The first known prediction of a solar eclipse was 
 made in Greece.
1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems.
1810 Argentina declared independence from Napoleonic Spain.
1844 The gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry.
1895 Oscar Wilde, a playwright, poet and novelist, was 
 convicted of a morals charge and sentenced to prison in London.
1927 Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would 
 replace the Model T.
1953 In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired.
1961 America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work 
 toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade.
1970 Boeing Computer Services was founded.
1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs appeared 
 in "The Washington Post." The article called for a national 
 memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation of what it has done 
 to its sons" that had served in the Vietnam War.
1979 An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at 
 Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people were killed.
1981 Daredevil Daniel Goodwin scaled Chicago's Sears Tower, 
 while wearing a "Spiderman" costume, in 7 1/2 hours.
1985 Bangladesh was hit with a hurricane and tidal wave that 
 killed more than 11,000 people.
1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces 
 of communism.
2001 Erik Weihenmeyer, 32, of Golder, CO, became the first blind 
 climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
2008 NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic plains 
 of Mars.
2009 North Korea announced that it had conducted a second 
 successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong.
2016  smiled.


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What to do after you got mugged by W10 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, May 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Two Tennessee ministers nabbed in child-prostitution sting Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 24, in 1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered solar system. That did not go over well. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. --- Susan Ertz The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty. --- Eugene McCarthy _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats aroond here?"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad engineer. "How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a schedule?" replied the engineer. ______________________________________________________ From the Olden Days when we had floppy drives: Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly, and the secretary has gone home already." Tech Support: "What does it say?" Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk." Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?" Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." Tech Support: "hmmmm, Have a look at the front of the computer. Does it have an ATM slot like at a bank machine? If there is a button sticking out there, then you are behind in your ID ten T tax. Are you familiar with that?" Customer: "Yes, of course. I know all about that. We have a 10 T network here." Tech Support: "Excellent. Normally you would pay the ID-10-T tax on-line, but since you can't get on-line, I'll have to take your VISA over the phone. We'll just charge it $10 for now, and tomorrow your secretary can bring it up to date. What is your VISA number?" .....VISA info... OK, Sir, now look for that ATM button again, and push it in really hard." Customer: "Something black popped out!" Tech Support: "Excellent ! You are doing great, Sir! Now go back to the keyboard and hold down these 3 keys together: CTRL ALT DEL, just for a second or so." Customer: "Its's starting properly now! " Tech Support: "Excellent! Leave a note for the secretary to re-imburse you for the ID-10-T tax payment you made." Customer: "Thanks, I'll do that." ----------- If somebody leaves you a note to reimburse him or her for the IDIOT TAX that they paid, now you know what that is all about. ______________________________________________________ Johnston Canyon, Banff ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Two Tennessee ministers nabbed in child-prostitution sting Jason Kennedy, 46, Knoxville Tennessee Zubin Parakh, 32 Clinton, Tennessee Two Knoxville-area ministers face felony charges for seeking sex with underage girls as part of an undercover sting operation targeting human trafficking and prostitution this week. Jason Kennedy, 46, of Knoxville was charged Thursday with felony human trafficking and patronizing prostitution and trafficking after he and Zubin Parakh answered online advertisements specifically offering sex with an underage girl, said Mark Gwyn, director of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. Kennedy was a children's minister at Grace Baptist Church in the Knoxville suburb of Karns, Tenn., until his arrest; his name had been scrubbed as of Friday from the church's website, Twitter and Facebook feeds. Also charged with felony trafficking is Parakh, 32, of Clinton, who served as creative pastor with LifeHouse Church in Oak Ridge, according to a cached version of the church's website. By Friday afternoon, references to Parakh also had been taken off his church's site. Kennedy has been fired from his job at Grace Baptist, according to a statement the church released Friday afternoon. "The actions of the children's pastor for which he has been arrested were part of his life outside the church, and we have received no questions or concerns related to his conduct within the church or its ministries," church officials said. A background check, done before Kennedy was hired 2˝ years ago, and the minister himself indicated no problems. Kennedy was one of two charged with felony trafficking because he specifically sought out an underage girl, authorities said. The trafficking charge is normally a Class B felony, which could mean eight to 30 years in prison and a fine of up to $25,000; however, authorities said they will enhance it to a Class A felony, which could mean 15 to 60 years in prison and a fine of up to $50,000, because their sting operation took place within 1,000 feet of a church. Another church is next door to the Best Western motel where Knoxville police officers conducted the three-day sting, the fifth operation of its kind in Tennessee to serve as a crackdown on human trafficking. Kennedy remained in Knox County jail Friday in lieu of $50,500 bond. He is accused of responding via text message to an online ad posted on backpage.com offering sex with two females including one that undercover agents said was "15, going on 16," according to arrest warrants. After arriving at the motel, Kennedy stated that "he wanted to have sex with both the underage juvenile and the other female in the room," placed $100 on the counter, removed his pants and was taken into custody. Kennedy, a married father of three, was responsible for ministry for the church's children from birth through fifth grade, according to a cached page of the church's website from Feb. 13, 2015. Parakh initially was one of 26 men cited for patronizing prostitutes and released, according to spokeswoman Susan Niland of the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation. But authorities since secured a warrant for his arrest on a felony trafficking charge although he had not yet been re- arrested Friday afternoon. “We wanted to make sure there is no safe place to hide for criminals who would victimize the most vulnerable among us,” Gwyn said. The Southern Baptist Convention lists Grace Baptist Church, celebrating its 100th year this year, as having more than 4,000 members with an average attendance of almost 2,500 people. The affiliation of Baptist churches has resources online to help a church's staff check the backgrounds of potential hires, but any background check will fall short if a person has no previous arrests. Parakh, a Chattanooga native, is a longtime friend of LifeHouse Church's lead pastor, who arrived at the Oak Ridge church in 2010, according to a cache of that church's website. The agents who posted advertisements on backpage.com received more than 300 inquiries, including more than two dozen contacts for the ad involving an underage girl, officials said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Franklin RE: Got mugged by W10 Dear Webby Last Saturday, after many months of no problems, Microsoft decided to take over her laptop and install win 10. I stopped the install, but now she gets a "warning" her win 7 is bogus and we cannot get a desktop background to stay. when she leaves the desktop to do something she comes back to a blank background and insinuations her copy was not purchased from Microsoft. What can be done as I cannot find our install disk? Thanks for your humor. Dear Franklin It is better to let it finish the mugging and then do an UNinstall. Just make sure you don't do the "Cleanup to save disk space", that it recommends. That dumps the W7 files. I wrote about it on May 19. A date easy to remember, the day before my birthday. I wrote: ================== Dear Esme DON'T clean up to free space after they sleaze in W10! Just do these steps. Open up Settings via the Start menu or the taskbar icon. Click Update & Security and then move to the Recovery section. Under the Go back to Windows 7 or Go back to Windows 8.1 heading, click Get started and you'll be guided through the rest of the process. That's pretty well all you have to do. If you want to read more about it, go to Details are at http://betanews.com/2015/08/17/how-to-u ... indows-10- and-go-back-to-windows-7-or-8-1/ ============ If she did the "Cleanup" and cremated Lazarus, then you can save all important files onto a removable drive or camera chips, and restore to factory default. You may have to call the computer maker's tech support and let them step you through restoring the factory default. That totally formats the machine, including the BIOS, and will make it like the day it was sold to you. That is why you have to copy any and all importart files onto other media. For programs, back up the downloaded setup files. You will have to re-install them after the format. Calling the Taliban at Microsoft is usually a total waste of time. Just follow the instructions above, and if that does not help, restore to factory default. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A small boy was standing near an escalator in a department store watching the moving handrail. "Is there anything wrong?" asked a saleslady. "Nope," he said, I'm just waiting for my gum to come around again. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Spiked Persimmon Cake By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments] This is one of my favourite cakes to make around the holidays, or any time it's cold. The flavours are so comforting and the added alcohol gives a kick of warmth. Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 10 servings Ingredients: 5 super ripe persimmons 1 1/2 cup flour 1 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg 1 tsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp orange zest 1 cup milk 1 cup sugar 2 eggs 2 Tbsp melted butter 1/4 cup rum or brandy whipped cream, ice cream, nuts for topping (optional) Steps: Preheat oven to 350°F. Pull out the stems of the persimmons. Using a spoon, scoop out the persimmon pulp and add to a bowl (throw out the skins). Mash the pulp with a fork Mix the flour, baking powder, salt, baking soda, nutmeg, cinnamon, and orange zest in a large bowl. Add the persimmon, milk, sugar, and eggs in another bowl and mix until blended. Add the melted butter and alcohol. Stir the flour mixture into the wet mixture little by little, making sure it's very well combined. Pour this mixture into a greased baking dish. Bake for 40-45 minutes. Use a toothpick to poke it, it's ready when it comes out clean. You'll also know its ready when the edges of the cake pull away from the baking dish and your home smells amazing! Expect it to be crispy at the edges, and extremely moist in the middle. Serve with whipped cream or ice cream and sprinkle of nuts. Source: A spin off a cross between my mother's persimmon bread and a recipe for brandy banana bread. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who contacted police working on a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect." ___________________________________________________
frog tries to catch fly on smart phone
____________________________________________________ There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mineshaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mineshaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be MY goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie." ____________________________________________________ One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it." "You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off. I forgot where I am supposed to be going today!" ____________________________________________________
How in the world does he mold stone like this?

Today on May 24
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered 
 solar system.
1607 Captain Christopher Newport and 105 followers found 
 the colony of Jamestown at the mouth of the James River 
 on the coast of Virginia.
1624 After years of unprofitable operation Virginia’s 
 charter was revoked and it became a royal colony.
1689 The English Parliament passed Act of Toleration, 
 protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics were specifically 
 excluded from exemption.
1764 Bostonian lawyer James Otis denounced "taxation without
 representation" and called for the colonies to unite in 
 demonstrating their opposition to Britain’s new tax measures.
1798 Believing that a French invasion of Ireland was 
 imminent, Irish nationalists rose up against the British 
 occupation.
1830 The first passenger railroad service in the U.S. 
 began service.
1844 Samuel F.B. Morse formally opened America's first 
 telegraph line. The first message was sent from 
 Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD. The message was 
 "What hath God wrought?"
1878 The first American bicycle race was held in Boston.
1883 After 14 years of construction the Brooklyn Bridge 
 was opened to traffic.
1930 Amy Johnson became the first woman to fly from 
 England to Australia.
1941 The HMS Hood was sunk by the German battleship Bismarck 
 in the North Atlantic. Only three people survived.
1954 The first moving sidewalk in a railroad station was 
 opened in Jersey City, NJ.
1976 Britain and France opened trans-Atlantic Concorde 
 service to Washington.
1994 The four men convicted of bombing the New York's 
 World Trade Center were each sentenced to 240 years 
 in prison.
1999 39 miners were killed in an underground gas 
 explosion in the Ukraine.
2000 Five people were killed and two others wounded 
 when two gunmen entered a Wendy's restaurant in Flushing, 
 Queens, New York. The gunmen tied up the victims in the 
 basement and then shot them.
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives approved permanent 
 normal trade relations with China.
2000 A Democratic Party event for Al Gore in Washington 
 brought in $26.5 million. The amount set a new record.
2001 Temba Tsheri, 15, became the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 
2016  smiled.


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Does OCR really work? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, May 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a WV man in Florida arrested after he shot the door of his hotel room, after he locked himself out. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 23, in 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. She was then sold to the English. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. -- Michael Pritchard _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Detroit, Michigan. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Detroit Metro Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Detroit public is advised to stay calm as absolutely NO ONE fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, is anywhere near the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community. The police have just surrounded a department store in the center of Detroit. They've heard Bed Linen is on the second floor!
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Jon. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts, "Let Jon graduate, let Jon graduate!" The principal agrees to give Jon one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Jon, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Jon thought long and hard and then said, "Ten." At that the entire senior class and their teachers stood up and shouted, "Give Jon another chance. Give Jon another chance!" ______________________________________________________ Marge was royally peeved! She was arguing with the druggist because her favourite cure-all could no longer be bought without a prescription. "Look, lady. You can't have this without a prescription because it's been declared a habit-forming drug." "IT IS NOT!!!!" Screamed Margaret! "I ought to know: I've been taking it regularly for thirtyseven years!" ______________________________________________________ Fitz Roy, Patagonia ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by WV man in Florida arrested for shooting the door of his hotel room, after he locked himself out. Charles Richardson, 35, St. Pete Beach, Florida. Deputies say a St. Pete Beach hotel guest used a handgun to shoot the lock on his room door because he had locked himself out. Deputies: Man shoots hotel door because he got locked out Incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel on St. Pete Beach The incident occurred at the Beachcomber Hotel, located at 6200 Gulf Boulevard in St. Pete Beach, at approximately 7:58 a.m. on Thursday. According to deputies, when they arrived at the hotel they located the suspect, 35-year-old Charles Richardson, of Dunbar, West Virginia, sitting in the lobby unarmed. Deputies determined that Richardson, who was a guest at the hotel, used a handgun to shoot the lock on his hotel room door because he had locked himself out of his room. Deputies said Richardson then proceeded to shoot a glass window at the hotel for no apparent reason. No one was injured at the hotel as a result of the shooting. Deputies recovered the handgun near Richardson's hotel room. Richardson was arrested and transported to the Pinellas County Jail without incident. He was charged with two felony counts of shooting a deadly missile into/at/within an occupied building. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: William RE: Does OCR really work? Dear Webby I have about 150 pages of typewritten material I would like to put in a word processor and on a disk. Does this OCR software I see advertised really work? Thanks for the great jokes, and all of your tech pit help. William Dear William OCR programs have probably improved more than any other programs. Try a few of the free ones and see if they work well with the fonts used on that project. Some OCR programs take typewritten fonts quite nicely, others only work well with modern computer generated fonts. There are also a bunch of professional OCR programs that do cost some money, but are of higher quality and usually have spell checks built in. With the spell-checks you have to be careful and not let them automatically correct. They tend to work like the auto-correct on many programs, that substitute similar sounding but totally wrong words. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Jill's economic philosophy is middle of the road. She spends money left and right and center. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments] Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled around, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I . . . didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did." ___________________________________________________
Bird of paradise
____________________________________________________ Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the Spring break. When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. Mark was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked. "Well, since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk." ____________________________________________________ Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" she said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'" ____________________________________________________
Stormtrooper Boogie .

Today on May 23
1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians. 
 She was then sold to the English.
1533 Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon was 
 declared null and void.
1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of 
 the Reformation were thrown through a window.
1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after 
 being convicted of murder and piracy.
1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had 
 invented bifocals.
1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was 
 established. The organization's name was changed to 
 Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920.
1915 During World War I, Italy changed sides to join
 the Allies as they declared war on Austria-Hungary.
1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde 
 Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers. 
 The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe.
1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head 
 of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while 
 imprisoned by the Allied forces.
1949 The Republic of West Germany was established.
1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann 
 in Argentina.
1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the 
 Central Bank and took 200 hostages.
1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison 
 for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union.
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City 
 was demolished.
1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern 
 Ireland approved a peace accord.
1999 In Kansas City, MO, Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) died when 
he fell 90 feet while being lowered into a WWF wrestling ring. 
1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale 
 El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record 
 that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old. 
2016  smiled.


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How to make file name extensions visible 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, May 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman caught being too lazy to pay for shoplifted items Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 22, in 1570 Abraham Ortelius in Belgium published the first modern atlas. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living. --- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Ida For years my husband denied he was an aggressive driver. That changed one day when we were out for a ride with our three-year-old, Matthew. Seeing a teaching opportunity, I began quizzing Matthew about traffic lights. "What does a red light mean?" I asked. "Stop." "How about green?" "Go." "And yellow?" In his best impression of Daddy, Matthew bellowed, "Haaaanng on!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again, even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have messed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt! ______________________________________________________ Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me." ------------- That reminds me: A womans definition of a secret: Gossip which is spread only one person at a time. ______________________________________________________ Cool Duck! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Woman stole sex toys from Wal-Mart, said she was too lazy to pay. Therasa Prine, 25, St. Petersburg, Florida. A 25-year-old woman identified as Therasa Prine was arrested in St. Petersburg, Florida after police caught her stealing items from a local Walmart. Those items included a vibrating penis ring, arousal gel and other sex toys. When asked by the officer about why she didn't pay, Therasa's response was both funny and pathetic: She said she was "too lazy" to pay. We've heard a lot of shoplifting excuses but admitting to being lazy usually isn't part of a criminal's defense. Things quickly got less amusing for Ms. Prine when cops searched her purse and found pills and weed. Now she faces drug charges on top of the shoplifting charge. Therasa Prine has been arrested multiple times for everything from domestic violence to grand theft to resisting arrest. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leon RE: How do I make file name extensions visible? Dear Webby My computer doesn't show any "Extensions" behind the file name. Is that a hardware problem or something that can be fixed b upgrading Windows? Leon Dear Leon Just open the File Explorer click on TOOLS click on FOLDER OPTIONS click on VIEW move the radio button to "SHOW hidden files and folders" take the checkmark off "Hide extensions" click APPLY click OK Now your Windows will show file extensions all of the time. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A lady had just finished taking a CPR course, and was on the lookout for a chance to try it out. As she left the shopping center, she saw a man lying on the road with a lot of people around him. Screaming, "I know CPR!", she ran to the person, threw her bag down, loosened all tight clothing and got ready to turn him around and start mouth-to-mouth. At this stage, a huge policeman tapped her on the shoulder and said: "Ma'am, I'm sure Ole appreciates your attention, but I am paying him by the quarter hour to try and fish my keys out of the storm sewer." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts By attosa [203 Posts, 485 Comments] Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the audience. "Jones, never do that again!" the drill instructor whispered. But a few minutes later, the soldier waved a second time. Back in the barracks after the parade, the DI stormed in and barked for Jones to come front and center. "Son, you knew I was going to see you," he screamed. "You knew it was wrong. Aren't you afraid of me?" "Yes, SIR!" replied Jones. "But you don't know my mother! You better hide quickly. I can hear her truck approaching, SIR!" ___________________________________________________
Historical everyday pictures
____________________________________________________ During a lull between the speeches at the recent White House Correspondent's dinner, Michelle Obama leans over to chat with Joe Biden. "Ya know, I bought Barack a parrot for his birthday. The bird is so smart, Barack has already taught him to pronounce over two hundred words!" "Wow, that's pretty impressive," says Joe, "but, you do realize that he just speaks the words -- he doesn't really understand what they mean." "Oh, I know," Michelle replies, "Neither does the parrot." ____________________________________________________ A man and his wife hadn't been out to dinner in a long time and they decided to try a restaurant they had never been to before. They were seated and, as they looked over the menu, they noticed some movement at a nearby table, but there were no people there. As they took a closer look, they saw that there were mice on the table, eating the un-cleared leftovers from the group that had been sitting there. The man was shocked and called the manager over. He pointed at the table and said, "Look! There are mice on that table!" The manager scratched his head and calmly said, "Now, that's odd. They usually stay in the kitchen." ____________________________________________________
Beautiful Spring in different parts of the world.

Today on May 22
1246 Henry Raspe was elected anti-king by the Rhenish 
 prelates in France.
1455 King Henry VI was taken prisoner by the Yorkists at the 
 Battle of St. Albans, during the War of the Roses.
1570 Abraham Ortelius in Belgium published the first modern
atlas.
1819 The steamship Savannah became the first to cross the 
 Atlantic Ocean.
1841 Henry Kennedy received a patent for the first reclining chair.
1849 Abraham Lincoln received a patent for the floating dry dock.
1868 Near Marshfield, IN, The "Great Train Robbery" took place. 
 The robbery was worth $96,000 in cash, gold and bonds to the 
 seven members of the Reno gang.
1872 The Amnesty Act restored civil rights to Southerners.
1882 The U.S. formally recognized Korea.
1891 The first public motion picture was given in Thomas Edison's lab.
1892 Dr. Sheffield, a British dentist, invented the toothpaste tube.
1908 The Wright brothers registered their flying machine for a U.S. patent.
1939 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini signed a military alliance 
 between Germany and Italy known as the "Pact of Steel."
1955 A scheduled dance to be headlined by Fats Domino was canceled by 
 police in Bridgeport, Connecticut because "rock and roll dances might be featured."
1969 A lunar module of Apollo 10 flew within nine miles of the moon's surface. 
 The event was a rehearsal for the first lunar landing.
1972 The island Ceylon adopted a new constitution and became the 
 republic of Sri Lanka.
1990 Microsoft released Windows 3.0.
2002 Chandra Levy's remains were found in Washington, DC's Rock Creek Park. 
 She was last seen on April 30, 2001. 
2016  smiled.


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What are double extensions on file names? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, May 21

Thanks to all who sent Birthday wishes! There was no way
I could reply to each, ho here is a Thank You to all of you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado woman, who robbed a bank while babysitting kids Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 21, in 0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. --- Jack London (1876 - 1916) "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." --- Harry Golden Promise? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
My doctor's receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file. Before I could tell her that all the infor- mation she had was still correct, she asked, "Has your birth date changed?" Here they ask you for the date of birth as a kind of password. If you don't know it, they tell you to get lost. ______________________________________________________ >From Dennis There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with. The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if left alone long enough, will develop into something you can't afford either. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Colorado woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids Rachel Einspahr, 28, Weld County, Colorado A Colorado woman is facing charges of robbery and child abuse after allegedly attempting to rob a bank while babysitting two kids. Rachel Einspahr, 28, was arrested Friday afternoon after police said she robbed the drive-through window of the Colorado East Bank & Trust in Severance. According to the release from the Weld County Sheriff’s Office, Einspahr passed a note to the teller through a vacuum tube stating that there was a man in her car who was threatening to harm her children if he didn’t get money. The note read, “Do not sound alarm, the man in the very back wants $100s and $50s … no dye packs or trackers … he has gun on my kids,” according to CBS Denver. Fearing lives were in danger, the teller gave the suspect $500, who drove off in a white Nissan SUV. After the robbery was reported, deputies secured the bank and canvased the area. A vehicle matching the teller’s description was discovered a short distance from the bank, according to the Coloradoan. Investigators interviewed Einspahr and her employer, and discovered she had been hired to babysit the two kids who had been in the back of the SUV used in the robbery, according to Coloradoan.com. The kids were unharmed during the robbery. Einspahr told police, “I can’t go back to jail,” according to the Denver Channel. At first, Einspahr maintained that an unknown man forced her to go to the bank and get money, but police said she eventually admitting planning the robbery. Her motive, according to police, was to use the money to pay $15,000 as part of a restitution/plea deal for previous offenses, according to the arrest affidavit. Einspahr has an open case in Evans for over 30 counts of forgery, ID theft and felony theft and a second open case in Larimer County on two counts of ID theft, according to the paperwork. Einspahr was charged with one count of robbery and two counts of child abuse. She remains behind bars at the Weld County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marge RE: What are Double Extensions Dear Webby I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain. Thank you. Marge Dear Marge Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached. It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, ot it could be some malware like a virus or a worm. Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that tells the computer what to do with it. If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif" When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file with a picture viewer or picture editor. If the extension is ".xls" or ".wb4" then Windows knows it is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program. Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it. If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs a backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably also sends itself to everybody in your Outlook or Outlook Express address book. Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Snickerdoodle Wraps By attosa [202 Posts, 485 Comments] You would never guess these crispy wraps were made of flour tortillas. They are like thin cookies crossed with crepes with a creamy filling. You can use a variety of fillings like cream cheese, ricotta, or sour cream. I went with yogurt. I can assure you when you take your first bite, you'll be absolutely addicted. These are great for any time of the day, and even make a fantastic dessert. Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: 2 wraps Ingredients: 2 medium flour tortillas 2 Tbsp yogurt (or cream cheese, ricotta, sour cream) 1 Tbsp jam 1/4 cup sugar 2 tsp cinnamon oil for frying Steps: Spread tortilla with yogurt. Add a thin layer of jam. Tightly wrap, removing any filling that oozes out the sides. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Repeat. You can use a toothpick to secure the wrap. I like to dab a bit of yogurt on the end flap to seal. Works great. Mix together your cinnamon and sugar thoroughly. This will be for dipping after the frying process. Add a couple tablespoons of oil to a pan on high heat. Fry the wraps until golden brown, about 1 minute on each side. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Drain on paper towels for 10 seconds. Roll the wraps in the cinnamon sugar. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Check out these amazing layers! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sign posted in the Army recruiting office: "Marry a veteran, Girls! He can cook, make beds, sew, and is already used to taking orders." ___________________________________________________
the nature of God
____________________________________________________ Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage. ---- No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party. ---- The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover. ---- Women are only fertile a few days each month... unless they're single. ____________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they - some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!" "This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me in advance." "Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA." After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist: "OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled events?" The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted: "Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?" ____________________________________________________
I could be so happy living in Devonshire, England, Monsanto, Portugal, Hobbiton, New Zealand...

Today on May 21
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London. 
 Edward IV took the throne.
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, CH
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain 
 Bartholomew Gosnold.
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City. 
 They were originally known as "swift walkers."
1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first 
 national convention.
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony.
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable 
 tire-carrying rim.
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop 
 airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to 
 fingerprint all of its citizens.
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the 
 Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll.
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men 
 aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later 
 found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores.
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at 
 Ohio State University.
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began.
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR, 
 killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic 
 rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his 
 parents before the rampage.
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a 
 butyric acid-attacker. 
2016  smiled.


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What are double extensions on file names? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, May 21

Thanks to all who sent Birthday wishes! There was no way
I could reply to each, ho here is a Thank You to all of you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado woman, who robbed a bank while babysitting kids Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 21, in 0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. --- Jack London (1876 - 1916) "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." --- Harry Golden Promise? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
My doctor's receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file. Before I could tell her that all the infor- mation she had was still correct, she asked, "Has your birth date changed?" Here they ask you for the date of birth as a kind of password. If you don't know it, they tell you to get lost. ______________________________________________________ >From Dennis There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with. The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if left alone long enough, will develop into something you can't afford either. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Colorado woman Robbed Bank While Babysitting Kids Rachel Einspahr, 28, Weld County, Colorado A Colorado woman is facing charges of robbery and child abuse after allegedly attempting to rob a bank while babysitting two kids. Rachel Einspahr, 28, was arrested Friday afternoon after police said she robbed the drive-through window of the Colorado East Bank & Trust in Severance. According to the release from the Weld County Sheriff’s Office, Einspahr passed a note to the teller through a vacuum tube stating that there was a man in her car who was threatening to harm her children if he didn’t get money. The note read, “Do not sound alarm, the man in the very back wants $100s and $50s … no dye packs or trackers … he has gun on my kids,” according to CBS Denver. Fearing lives were in danger, the teller gave the suspect $500, who drove off in a white Nissan SUV. After the robbery was reported, deputies secured the bank and canvased the area. A vehicle matching the teller’s description was discovered a short distance from the bank, according to the Coloradoan. Investigators interviewed Einspahr and her employer, and discovered she had been hired to babysit the two kids who had been in the back of the SUV used in the robbery, according to Coloradoan.com. The kids were unharmed during the robbery. Einspahr told police, “I can’t go back to jail,” according to the Denver Channel. At first, Einspahr maintained that an unknown man forced her to go to the bank and get money, but police said she eventually admitting planning the robbery. Her motive, according to police, was to use the money to pay $15,000 as part of a restitution/plea deal for previous offenses, according to the arrest affidavit. Einspahr has an open case in Evans for over 30 counts of forgery, ID theft and felony theft and a second open case in Larimer County on two counts of ID theft, according to the paperwork. Einspahr was charged with one count of robbery and two counts of child abuse. She remains behind bars at the Weld County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marge RE: What are Double Extensions Dear Webby I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain. Thank you. Marge Dear Marge Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached. It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, ot it could be some malware like a virus or a worm. Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that tells the computer what to do with it. If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif" When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file with a picture viewer or picture editor. If the extension is ".xls" or ".wb4" then Windows knows it is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program. Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it. If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs a backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably also sends itself to everybody in your Outlook or Outlook Express address book. Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Snickerdoodle Wraps By attosa [202 Posts, 485 Comments] You would never guess these crispy wraps were made of flour tortillas. They are like thin cookies crossed with crepes with a creamy filling. You can use a variety of fillings like cream cheese, ricotta, or sour cream. I went with yogurt. I can assure you when you take your first bite, you'll be absolutely addicted. These are great for any time of the day, and even make a fantastic dessert. Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: 2 wraps Ingredients: 2 medium flour tortillas 2 Tbsp yogurt (or cream cheese, ricotta, sour cream) 1 Tbsp jam 1/4 cup sugar 2 tsp cinnamon oil for frying Steps: Spread tortilla with yogurt. Add a thin layer of jam. Tightly wrap, removing any filling that oozes out the sides. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Repeat. You can use a toothpick to secure the wrap. I like to dab a bit of yogurt on the end flap to seal. Works great. Mix together your cinnamon and sugar thoroughly. This will be for dipping after the frying process. Add a couple tablespoons of oil to a pan on high heat. Fry the wraps until golden brown, about 1 minute on each side. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Drain on paper towels for 10 seconds. Roll the wraps in the cinnamon sugar. Snickerdoodle WrapsSnickerdoodle Wraps Check out these amazing layers! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sign posted in the Army recruiting office: "Marry a veteran, Girls! He can cook, make beds, sew, and is already used to taking orders." ___________________________________________________
the nature of God
____________________________________________________ Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage. ---- No one ever falls in love with another person's mind at a cocktail party. ---- The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover. ---- Women are only fertile a few days each month... unless they're single. ____________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they - some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!" "This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me in advance." "Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA." After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist: "OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled events?" The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted: "Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?" ____________________________________________________
I could be so happy living in Devonshire, England, Monsanto, Portugal, Hobbiton, New Zealand...

Today on May 21
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London. 
 Edward IV took the throne.
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, CH
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain 
 Bartholomew Gosnold.
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City. 
 They were originally known as "swift walkers."
1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first 
 national convention.
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony.
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable 
 tire-carrying rim.
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop 
 airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to 
 fingerprint all of its citizens.
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the 
 Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll.
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men 
 aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later 
 found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores.
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at 
 Ohio State University.
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began.
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR, 
 killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic 
 rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his 
 parents before the rampage.
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a 
 butyric acid-attacker. 
2016  smiled.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Female drug dealer indicted for her sex with pit bull stored on her phone. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 20, in 1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." The trip took 33 1/2 hours. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ WOMAN SUES HOSPITAL A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted into Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Bob, a trendy dresser, fancied himself quite a romeo, and was delighted to find a note pinned inside a new shirt. It contained a girl's name and address, and asked the recipient to send a photograph. How romantic, he thought to himself, very taken with the idea of this mystery woman so eager to meet him, and promptly mailed off a note and a photo. Heart aflutter, he opened her response. It read, "Thanks for writing. I was just curious to see what kind of guy would buy such a goofy shirt." ______________________________________________________ A priest had the weight of the world on him and was showing the effects. The church sent him to a psychiatrist, who ordered him to take a week off. The priest went to the largest city in the area. After about a dozen belts of neat whiskey, he found himself in one of the city's clip joints. A very well built waitress in a flimsy, low-cut uniform came over and asked, "What'll it be, Father?" The priest felt to see if he was still wearing his collar by mistake, but he had none on. "How did you know I'm a priest? he asked. The waitress laughed: "I'm Sister Mary Margaret. I go to the same psychiatrist!" ______________________________________________________ Italian Valleys From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Female drug-dealing suspect accused of having sex with PITBULL and filming it on her mobile phone Jenna Louise Driscoll, 25, Enoggera, Australia Jenna Louise Driscoll was being investigated by police on suspicion of drug trafficking when officers claim they found shocking bestiality footage A woman will stand trial for bestiality after police claim to have found a video of her having sex with a dog . Jenna Louise Driscoll will was being investigated by cops on suspicion of drug trafficking. When they examined her phone as part of the case they found footage of a woman - said to be Driscoll - having sexual intercourse with the dog. She has now officially been indicted on bestiality and drug trafficking charges, reports the Brisbane Courier Mail . Lawyers for 25-year-old Driscoll, from Enoggera, were in Australia's Supreme Court this morning. Prosecutors officially indicted Driscoll on two indictments, each containing three charges. The suspect did not appear in court as she was legally represented. The drug charges related to trafficking in cannabis. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lynn RE: Double Extensions Dear Webby I know you said to always trash any attachments that have two extensions, because they never have anythin worthwhile but usually something harmful. My brother sent me a letter that had an attachment with two extensions, so I deleted it and told him to clean up his act. He told me they are not bad, and that it can happen when one picks up a page saved from the net and opens it with a spreadsheet program. He told me not to worry about double extensions. Lynn Dear Lynn Yes, it can happen, if somebody is too absentminded to save a file properly, just like it can happen that somebody like him watches people on the other side of the street,- and walks into a lightpole. Only somebody who has walked into too many light poles would tell anybody to not worry about double extensions. There may be the odd harmless ooops, but with double extensions the hostile and dangerous files outnumber the ooopses by a huge margin. With viruses and worms it is much smarter to err on the safe side. You did the smart thing. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?" "I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily. "Good," said the officer. "Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?" The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Drying a Toilet Brush By Litter Gitter [166 Posts, 591 Comments] After you finish, just stick the brush under the seat to hold it in place while the water drips off and the brush dries. Solves the problem of water and gunk collecting in your brush holder. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Here is an old classic, returned by Collette: During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ___________________________________________________
Scott Joplin's Peachrine Rag
____________________________________________________ Instead of a wise king, we have whoever is left over when each half of the country votes against one of the competing manure spreaders. ____________________________________________________ One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over to the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties... He's the one with the beard, mustache and glasses, - and no horns." ____________________________________________________
Fascinating Wire Mesh Sculptures

Today on May 200325 - The Ecumenical council was inaugurated by Emperor 
 Constantine in Nicea, Asia Minor.
1303 A peace treaty was signed between England and France 
 over the town of Gascony.
1506 In Spain, Christopher Columbus died in poverty.
1520 Hernando Cortez defeated Spanish troops that had been 
 sent to punish him in Mexico.
1690 England passed the Act of Grace, forgiving followers 
 of James II.
1674 John Sobieski became Poland’s first King.
1774 Britain's Parliament passed the Coercive Acts to 
 punish the American colonists for their increasingly 
 anti-British behavior
1775 North Carolina became the first colony to declare 
 its independence. This is the date that is on the George 
 state flag even though the date of this event has been 
 questioned.
1784 The Peace of Versailles ended a war between France, 
 England, and Holland.
1830 The fountain pen was patented by H.D. Hyde.
1861 North Carolina became the eleventh state to secede from the Union.
1861 During the American Civil War, the capital of the 
 Confederacy was moved from Montgomery, AL, to Richmond, VA.
1874 Levi Strauss began marketing blue jeans with copper rivets.
1899 Jacob German of New York City became the first driver to 
 be arrested for speeding. The posted speed limit was 12 miles 
 per hour.
1902 The U.S. military occupation of Cuba ended.
1902 Cuba gained its independence from Spain.
1926 The U.S. Congress passed the Air Commerce Act. The act 
 gave the Department of Commerce the right to license pilots 
 and planes.
1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the 
 Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis." 
 The trip took 33 1/2 hours.
1930 The first airplane was catapulted from a dirigible.
1932 Amelia Earhart took off to fly solo across the  Atlantic 
 Ocean. She became the first woman to achieve the feat.
1941 Germany invaded Crete by air.
1942 Japan completed the conquest of Burma.
1949 DearWebby was born in Rankweil, Austria
1961 A white mob attacked the Freedom Riders in Montgomery, AL. 
 The event prompted the federal government to send U.S. marshals.
1969 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces captured Apbia Mountain, 
 which was referred to as Hamburger Hill.
1970 100,000 people marched in New York supporting U.S. policies 
 in Vietnam.
1978 Mavis Hutchinson, at age 53, became the first woman to run 
 across America. It took Hutchinson 69 days to run the 3,000 miles.
1990 The Hubble Space Telescope sent back its first photographs.
1993 The final episode of "Cheers" was aired on NBC-TV.
1996 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Colorado measure 
 banning laws that would protect homosexuals from discrimination.
2010 Scientists announced that they had created a funtional 
 synthetic genome.
2010 Five paintings worth 100 million Euro were stolen from the Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris. 

2016  smiled.


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What to do when you get mugged by W10 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, May 19

Good Luck!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear. He got 25 years for child porn on forgoten thumbdrive. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 19, in 1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King Henry VIII, was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery. 1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the Queen of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned by Queen Elizabeth. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ May, 1961 "We will put men on the moon." John F. Kennedy May, 2016 "We will put men in women's restrooms." Barack Obama _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said "Chopsticks were provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chop- sticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks." "True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Jill was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her grew quickly. The man in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously, as Jill continued trying to get the car to started again. Finally, Jill got out of her car and approached the man in the car behind her. She smiled and said to him, "I can't seem to get my car started. Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you." ______________________________________________________ Returning from a trip to visit his grandmother in Canada, Bill was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, Bill gave him a small bag of his grandmother's delicious chocolate chip cookies and proceeded on his way. Later, he was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done now?" he asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate chip cookies." ______________________________________________________ From Noella ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mother caught drunk and drinking beer with her 2 year old strapped in the back seat. This at the drive thru at Arby's in Chenango, New York. Rebecca Shoemaker, 30, Birmingham, New York Police have arrested a Binghamton mother after they say she was caught drinking a beer while going through an Arby's drive-thru. New York State Police say the arrest occurred after troopers responded to reports that Rebecca Shoemaker, 30, of Binghamton, was drinking a beer while in the drive-thru at Arby's on Upper Front Street in the Town of Chenango. Police say Shoemaker was driving while intoxicated while she had her 2-year-old child in the back seat. Police say she refused to take a breath test to determine her BAC. She's been charged with the felony of aggravated DWI because a child under the age of 16 was allegedly in her vehicle. She was issued tickets returnable to Town of Chenango Court. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Esme RE: What to do if I get mugged by W10? Dear Webby I turned off the automatic updates as advised ­ but I was viewing facebook when the pc stopped and started installing Windows 10! I don't think I pressed a wrongť button but who knows? Is this the latest way to get you converted. regards Esme Dear Esme DON'T clean up to free space after they sleaze in W10! Just do these steps. Open up Settings via the Start menu or the taskbar icon. Click Update & Security and then move to the Recovery section. Under the Go back to Windows 7 or Go back to Windows 8.1 heading, click Get started and you'll be guided through the rest of the process. That's pretty well all you have to do. If you want to read more about it, go to Details are at http://betanews.com/2015/08/17/how-to-u ... indows-10- and-go-back-to-windows-7-or-8-1/ Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering." "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $2500 down, and payments of $550 for 24 months, plus payments for extras." "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!" "Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Drying a Toilet Brush By Litter Gitter [166 Posts, 591 Comments] After you finish, just stick the brush under the seat to hold it in place while the water drips off and the brush dries. Solves the problem of water and gunk collecting in your brush holder. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Four expectant fathers were in Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, "Congratulations sir, You're the father of twins." "What a coincidence," the man said with some obvious pride. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team." The nurse returned in a little while and turned to the second man, "You sir, are the father of triplets." "Wow, That's really an incredible coincidence," he answered. "I work for the 3M Corporation." My buddies at work will never let me live this one down. An hour later, while the other two men were passing cigars around, the nurse came back, this time she turn to the 3rd man - who had been quiet in the corner. She announced that his wife had just given birth to quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply. "Don't tell me! Another coincidence?" asked the nurse. After finally regaining his composure, he said "I don't believe it, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel." After hearing this, everybody's attention turned to the 4th guy, who had just fainted, flat out on the floor. The nurse rushed to his side and after some time, he slowly gained back his consciousness. When he was finally able to speak, you could hear him whispering repeatedly the same phrase over and over again. "I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven... "I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven... "I should have never taken that job at 7-Eleven..." ___________________________________________________
Johnny Carson/Dom DeLuise - the eggs
____________________________________________________ A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this, then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. Looking stunned, he said, "What?" ____________________________________________________ The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent. Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer." "Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver a pizza." ____________________________________________________
28 Dog And Cat Species That You Had No Idea Existed

Today on May 19
1535 French explorer Jacques Cartier set sail for 
 North America.
1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King 
 Henry VIII, was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery.
1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the 
 Queen of Scots, fled to England where she was imprisoned 
 by Queen Elizabeth.
1588 The Spanish Armada set sail from Lisbon to England.
1608 The Protestant states formed the Evangelical Union 
 of Lutherans and Calvinists.
1643 French army defeated a Spanish army at Rocroi, France.
1796 The first U.S. game law was approved. The measure called 
 for penalties for hunting or destroying game within 
 Indian territory.
1847 The first English-style railroad coach was placed in 
 service on the Fall River Line in Massachusetts.
1857 The electric fire alarm system was patented by William 
 F. Channing and Moses G. Farmer.
1858 A pro-slavery band led by Charles Hameton executed 
 unarmed Free State men near Marais des Cygnes on the 
 Kansas-Missouri border.
1864 The Union and Confederate armies launched their last 
 attacks against each other at Spotsylvania in Virginia.
1911 The first American criminal conviction that was 
 based on fingerprint evidence occurred in New York City.
1921 The U.S. Congress passed the Emergency Quota Act, 
 which established national quotas for immigrants.
1926 Thomas Edison spoke on the radio for the first time.
1926 Benito Mussolini announced that democracy was deceased. 
 Rome became a fascist state.
1926 In Damascus, Syria, French shells killed 600 people.
1935 T.E. Lawrence "Lawrence of Arabia" died from injuries 
 in a motorcycle crash in England.
1943 Winston Churchill told the U.S. Congress that his country 
 was pledging their full support in the war against Japan.
1958 Canada and the U.S. formally established the 
 North American Air Defense Command.
1962 Marilyn Monroe performed a sultry rendition of 
 "Happy Birthday" for U.S. President John F. Kennedy. The 
 event was a fund-raiser at New York's Madison Square Garden.
1964 The U.S. State Department reported that diplomats had 
 found about 40 microphones planted in the U.S. Embassy 
 in Moscow.
1967 The Soviet Union ratified a treaty with the US and 
 Britain that banned nuclear weapons from outer space.
1967 U.S. planes bombed Hanoi for the first time.
1988 In Jacksonville, FL, Carlos Lehder Rivas was convicted 
 of smuggling more than three tons of cocaine into the US. 
 Rivas was the co-founder of Colombia's Medellin drug cartel.
1992 In Massapequa, NY, Mary Jo Buttafuoco was shot and 
 seriously wounded by Amy Fisher. Fisher was her husband 
 Joey's teen-age lover.
1998 In Russia, strikes broke out over unpaid wages.
1998 Bandits stole three of Rome's most important paintings 
 from the National Gallery of Modern Art.
1999 "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" was released 
 in the U.S. It set a new record for opening day sales at 
 28.5 million.
2000 The bones of the most complete and best-preserved 
 Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton went on display in Chicago.
2000 Disney released the movie "Dinosaur." 
2003 It was announced that Worldcom Inc. would pay investors 
 $500 million to settle civil fraud charges over its $11 
 billion accounting scandal.
2003 Hundreds of Albert Einstein's scientific papers, personal 
 letters and humanist essays were made available on the Internet. 
 Einstein had given the papers to the Hebrew Universtiy of 
 Jerusalem in his will.
2005 "Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith" brought in 
 50.0 million in its opening day.


2016  smiled.


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How do I turn automatic updates off? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, May 18

Good Luck!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear. He got 25 years for child porn on forgoten thumbdrive. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 18, in 1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people were killed and 3 billion in damage was done. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary words. "Mom," she asked, "what's a quarter horse?" As I thought of a simple explanation, my five-year-old son piped up, "I know! It's the one they have in front of the grocery store."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ______________________________________________________ Bill loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arkansas petsitter reported found in women's underwear gets 25 years for child porn Haschel Capps, 34, England An Arkansas petsitter arrested earlier this year after an investigation into explicit photos of young girls found on a thumb drive has pleaded guilty to child pornography charges. Pulaski County sheriff’s office spokesman Capt. Carl Minden said in a statement Friday that Haschel Capps, 34, of England was sentenced to 25 years in prison as part of a plea deal. Capps’ arrest in January came after a man reported finding Capps — who had been hired to watch over the man’s pets during an out-of-town trip — wearing women’s underwear and using a laptop in his home in August 2014, according to a report. The homeowner told the sheriff's office that the two then got into an argument and he kicked Capps out of the residence. The man reported in October of that year to the sheriff’s office that he had found a thumb drive in his couch that contained photos of “small girls nude and in a pornographic nature.” That drive also contained photos of Capps wearing women’s underwear, apparently taken by someone else, he told authorities. Capps remained at the Pulaski County jail as of Friday evening, according to an inmate roster. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom RE: How do I turn automatic updates off? Dear Webby Good Morning, -- at least it was -- I have a Toshiba laptop, about 4 years old, with Windoze 7. Question, How do I find out if it has an ASUS motherboard and, if I do, how do I turn off auto update? This was my wife's machine and has a few sticcky keys which got that way from spilled wine (don't ask) As usual, I enjoy your site and this notice about Windows 7 has me buffaloed. My desktop is running Windows 8.1 and my little netbook is using XP which works for me. I also have a tablet running on Android so I assume that is safe, at least for now. tom DearTom! Writer to Toshiba support and ask them. re Updates: Open Windows Update by clicking the Start button In the search box, type Update, and then, in the list of results, clickWindows Update. In the left pane, click Change settings. Choose the option that you want. Personally, I let McAfee take care of that. It checks for updates and then lets me choose which ones I want, and which ones I don't want. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ my friend Roland, a long time subscriber and frequent contributor wrote me today: Dear Webby Lost my job today. Came into work on time... I did exactly what the boss told me to do! I followed all the rules, and never once disrespected anybody. Then, the first time I ever had a chance to drive one of them forklifts, I made one little mistake, and everyone starts running around in circles screaming and shouting. You'd think I blew the place up or something, the way people were looking at me afterwards! I don't understand it... I didn't mean to do it... It was just a little accident, nobody got hurt and the forklift didn't even get scratched. Everyone messes up some time, it could've happened to anyone! I have no idea why they got so uptight and fired me. Do you think it might be discrimination? Why Roland got laid off ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Brownie Bowls By Judy Pariser S. [99 Posts, 102 Comments] When you put your pudding, ice cream, or fruit in a homemade brownie bowl, you can eat the dish! Approximate Time: 25 min prep, 30 to bake Yield: 12 bowls Ingredients: Brownie mix or recipe* for an 8-inch square pan of brownies 4 muffin tins *Here is the link to my brownie recipe: Best Brownies Steps: Grease and flour the cups of one muffin tin. Fill the first muffin tins no more than 2/3 full of batter. Grease and flour the underside of the second muffin tin. Press the second tin on top of the first. Repeat with the third and fourth muffin tin. Bake at 350 degrees F for 25-30 minutes. Let cool completely before you separate the tins. Fill with ice cream, pudding, or fruit. You may top with whipped cream, if you wish. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the dollar. "There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy." ___________________________________________________
inside Blue Angels
____________________________________________________ A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a teacher. She called the number shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the student babbled on about how she thought she had found her life's calling and could she send her some information. The lady who answered the phone asked the student what number she was calling. The student told her and there was a pause. Then she said, "You misspelled TEACH." ____________________________________________________ A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody, nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!" ____________________________________________________
"The Old New World" Photo-based animation project.

Today on May 18
1302 The weaver Peter de Coningk led a massacre of the 
 Flemish oligarchs.
1642 Montreal, Canada, was founded.
1643 Queen Anne, the widow of Louis XIII, was granted sole 
 and absolute power as regent by the Paris parliament, 
 overriding the late king's will.
1652 In Rhode Island, a law was passed that made slavery 
 illegal in North America. It was the first law of its kind.
1792 Russian troops invaded Poland.
1802 Great Britain declared war on Napoleon's France.
1804 Napoleon Bonaparte was proclaimed emperor by the 
 French Senate.
1828 Battle of Las Piedras ended the conflict between 
 Uruguay and Brazil.
1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Selective Service act, 
 which called up soldiers to fight in World War I.
1926 Evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson vanished while 
 visiting a beach in Venice, CA. She reappeared a month 
 later with the claim that she had been kidnapped.
1931 Japanese pilot Seiji Yoshihara crashed his plane in the 
 Pacific Ocean while trying to be the first to cross the ocean 
 nonstop. He was picked up seven hours later by a passing ship.
1933 The Tennessee Valley Authority was created.
1934 The U.S. Congress approved an act, known as the "Lindberg Act," 
 that called for the death penalty in interstate kidnapping cases.
1944 Monte Cassino, Europe's oldest Monastic house, was 
 finally captured by the Allies in Italy.
1953 The first woman to fly faster than the speed of sound, 
 Jacqueline Cochran, piloted an F-86 Sabrejet over California 
 at an average speed of 652.337 miles-per-hour.
1974 India became the sixth nation to explode an atomic bomb.
1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people 
 were killed and 3 billion in damage was done.
1983 The U.S. Senate revised immigration laws and gave millions 
 of illegal aliens legal status under an amnesty program.
1994 Israel's three decades of occupation in the Gaza Strip 
 ended as Israeli troops completed their withdrawal and 
 Palestinian authorities took over.
1998 The U.S. federal government and 20 states filed a 
 sweeping antitrust case against Microsoft Corp., saying the 
 computer software company had a "choke hold" on competitors 
 which denied consumer choices by controlling 90% of the 
 software market.
1998 U.S. federal officials arrested more than 130 people 
 and seized $35 million. This was the end to an investigation 
 of money laundering being done by a dozen Mexican banks and 
 two drug-smuggling cartels. 
2016  smiled.


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Where do spammers get the addresses from? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, May 17

If you use Windows 7 and have an ASUS motherboard, turn
auto-update off NOW!

Make 100% sure you don't do the W7 Murder update #
KB3133977

Microsoft did update the support document for KB3133977
with a warning which states: “After you install
update 3133977 on a Windows 7 x64-based system that
includes an Asus-based main board, the system does not
start”.
 
They warned you about their cold blooded murder.
If you DID let KB3133977 sleaze in, DO NOT try to
restart! It will not start up again, ever.

Carefully back up everything you will need on your next
machine onto an external drive or camera chips or onto
the net.

Then order your next machine.

Details are at
Microsoft kills W7 on machines
with ASUS motherboards

Microsoft knew about this in advance, but it has no
plans to do anything about it. You can always buy a W10
machine.

The only not quite so bad news is that you can take the
hard drive from the murdered W7 machine, put it into an
USB drive enclosure, and plug it into a W7 machine, that
has not been murdered yet, and transfer the  data to
that machine. IF you have such a machine sitting around.

Other than that, you can buy a W10 machine and plug the
USB drive into that. 

Keep an eye out for a KB3133977 blocker, but be aware
that Microsoft is out to kill W7. They are not going to
let it live forever like XP.

ASUS has a way toget around Microsoft's bomb, IF you
have another machine to read the isntructions at
go to the following Asus support website to learn how to
disable Secure Boot for Windows 7 or print them out
beforehand.
http://www.asus.com/support/FAQ/1016356/

Good Luck!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Man who smashed ‘Molotov cocktail’ into cop car ‘wanted to go to jail.’ Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 17, in 1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former Miami police officers of fatally beating black insurance executive Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in the rioting. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. --- Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951) "To get rich, never risk your health. For it is the truth that health is the wealth of wealth." --— Richard Baker _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A small company that had frequent break-ins installed a new security system with alarms, codes and key pads. Late one night the alarm went off and the police raced to the scene. Outside the building, wandering around the grounds, they spotted and apprehended a suspect. The police called the Security Director for the company and said, "We caught the culprit, an old guy with a cane, well dressed, but kinda slow. He tried to pass as an employee, but he knows nothing about your business." The Security Director said, "Oh, that's the president of the company. He can never remember his exit code."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked. He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!" ______________________________________________________ The Father knocked on the bathroom door where his teenage daughter had been taking a bath for over an hour. "Cindy! Just how long will you be in that bathtub?" From the other side of the door came an exasperated reply: "Oh Daddy! Water affects your weight, not your height. I'm still 5'4"!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Man who smashed ‘Molotov cocktail’ into cop car ‘wanted to go to jail.’ Jose Rodriguez 28 Gloucester City, New Jersey A Gloucester City who man was arrested for allegedly lighting a “Molotov cocktail” and smashing it into a marked police car Saturday said he did it because he wanted to go to jail, authorities said. Gloucester City police say 28-year-old Jose E. Rodriguez walked into the parking lot of the police department around 8:17 p.m. carrying a Molotov cocktail. Authorities say he set it ablaze and then smashed the device against the side of a marked 2015 Ford Explorer. When police went to the parking lot to extinguish the flames, they found Rodriguez standing in the lot and asked if he saw the person who started the fire. “When the officers asked the male if he saw who started the fire, he told them he did because he wanted to go to jail,” police said in a statement on their Facebook page. Following an investigation, Rodriguez was charged with aggravated arson, possession of a weapon, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose and criminal mischief. He is being held in Camden County Jail on $100,000 bail. Authorities say the patrol vehicle only sustained minor damage. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jean RE: Spam from known addresses Dear Webby Some of the spam I get is from addresses that I KNOW are not spammers. How can one tell where the spam is really coming from? And WHERE do they get the return addresses from that they forge onto their spam? Jean Dear Jean If you have ever forwarded a sappy chain letter, that was a thinly disguised harvesting of addresses, or if you have a Yahoo or AOL a ddress, or if you work for the hacked US Government or any of the hacked companies, then your address is in the hands of the spammers. If you have MailWasher, it will reveal the actual FROM address, that they disguise with your or a friend's address. There is no point writing back to spammers. They usually just use disposable addresses, that they never check anyway. Just dump the spam. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Paper Tea Light Shades By ShirleyE [76 Posts, 56 Comments] These beautiful light shades will give a beautiful fairy grotto feel to a springtime buffet. Use electric tea lights rather than real candles so there is no danger of the paper catching on fire. Supplies: A5 coloured paper pencil thumb tack/drawing pin a chopping board, corrugated card, or polystyrene tile double sided sticky tape electric tea light Steps: Draw a simple design onto your paper. If you don't have any A5 paper, just cut a sheet of A4 in half. Place your design onto your chopping board, corrugated card, or polystyrene tile to protect your work surface. Use the thumb tack or other sharp tool to make holes along the lines of your design. If your design includes words, don't forget to write the letters backwards. Apply double sided sticky tape to one short edge. Curl the paper into a cylinder and secure with the tape. Turn on your light, place inside the tube and enjoy the display. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Lately at a restaurant I overheard the couple at the next table discuss their bill. "Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm worth at least $ 137,000." ___________________________________________________
inside Blue Angels
____________________________________________________ A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning; he felt that in this suit he could really do business. As he was preening in front of the mirror, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets. To his surprise, he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?" The young man answered, "Yes, I did." The tailor then said, "Whoever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?" ____________________________________________________ A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home. ____________________________________________________
Serenity for your soul. I wonder what it's like to live in these charming villages from around the world.

Today on May 17
1540 Afghan chief Sher Khan defeated Mongul Emperor 
 Humayun at Kanauj.
1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi saw the belts on 
 Jupiter's surface.
1681 Louis XIV sent an expedition to aid James II in 
 Ireland. As a result, England declares war on France.
1756 Britain declared war on France again, beginning 
 the French and Indian War.
1792 The New York Stock Exchange was founded at 70 Wall 
 Street by 24 brokers.
1814 Denmark ceded Norway to Sweden. Norway's constitution, 
 which provided a limited monarchy, was signed.
1875 The first Kentucky Derby was run at Louisville, KY.
1877 The first telephone switchboard burglar alarm was 
 installed by Edwin T. Holmes.
1932 The U.S. Congress changed the name "Porto Rico" 
 to "Puerto Rico."
1940 Germany occupied Brussels, Belgium and began the 
 invasion of France.
1946 U.S. President Truman seized control of the nation's 
 railroads, delaying a threatened strike by engineers 
 and trainmen.
1948 The Soviet Union recognized the new state of Israel.
1954 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled for school 
 integration in Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka. 
 The ruling declared that racially segregated schools were 
 inherently unequal.
1956 The first synthetic mica (synthamica) was offered for 
 sale in Caldwell Township, NJ.
1973 The U.S. Senate Watergate Committee began its hearings.
1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood 
 after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former Miami 
 police officers of fatally beating black insurance executive 
 Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in the rioting.
1985 Bobby Ewing died on the season finale of "Dallas" 
 on CBS-TV. He returned the following season.
1987 An Iraqi warplane attacked the U.S. Navy frigate Stark 
 in the Persian Gulf, killing 37 American sailors. Iraq 
 and the United States called the attack a mistake.
1996 U.S. President Clinton signed a measure requiring 
 neighborhood notification when sex offenders move in. 
 Megan's Law was named for 7-year-old Megan Kanka, who 
 was raped and killed in 1994.
1997 Rebel leader Kabila declared himself president of the 
 Democratic Republic of the Congo, formerly Zaire.
2000 Thomas E. Blanton Jr. and David Luker surrendered to police 
 in Birmingham, AL. The two former Ku Klux Klan members were 
 arrested on charges from the bombing of a church in 1963 that 
 killed four young black girls.
2000 Austria, the U.S. and six other countries agreed on the 
 broad outline of a plan that would compensate Nazi-Era 
 forced labor.
2001 The U.S. Postal Service issued a stamp based on 
 Charles M. Schulz's "Peanuts" comic strip.
2006 The U.S. aircraft carrier Oriskany was sunk about 
 24 miles off Pensacola Beach. It was the first vessel 
 sunk under a Navy program to dispose of old warships 
 by turning them into diving attractions. It was the 
 largest man-made reef at the time of the sinking.
2007 Trains crossed the border dividing North and South Korea 
 for the first time since 1953.


2016  smiled.


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Icon text background transparent 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, May 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Las Vegas teacher arrested after she kept a journal of her sexual relationship with under-age ex-student Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, May 16, in 1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set up the Afghan state. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ "A common mistake that people make when trying to make something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." --- Douglas Adams Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. --- Pat Paulsen Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. --- Will Rogers _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Joe At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his 104th. "I certainly do," he replied. "Statistics show that very few people die between the ages of 103 and 104."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail." ______________________________________________________ Ma and Pa made their annual visit to church for the Easter service. As they were leaving, the minster said, "Pa, it sure would be nice to see you and ma here more than once a year!" "I know," replied Pa, "but at least we keep the Ten Commandments." "That's great," the minister said. "I'm glad to hear that you keep the Commandments.""Yup," Pa said proudly, "Ma keeps six of 'em and I keep the other four." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: Due to lack of Gullible Warming the Easter Cacti are a bit late this year. These bloomed today. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Las Vegas teacher arrested after she kept journal of her sexual relationship with ex-student Nicole Wilfinger, 37, Las Vegas, Nevada Molasky Junior High School math teacher Nicole Wilfinger kept a journal on her cellphone of her relationship history with a former student, according to her arrest report. The journal had entries listing first-time occurrences, according to the report. For instance, it lists May 22 as “first time talking and friendship changes forever” and July 11 as “first time we had sex.” Wilfinger was a family friend to the former student, who told police she was his soccer coach for two years, the report said. She had been to his family’s home and attended some outings with his family. According to the report, she babysat the family’s 7-year-old daughter, and the family sometimes babysat her 7-year-old daughter. The report indicates that more than 1,970 phone calls were exchanged between Wilfinger and the student. Police said they recovered 156 text messages and 325 images that had been deleted from Wilfinger’s phone. According to the arrest report, the sexual relationship started when the former student was 14. Wilfinger and the teenager both told police they had sex three times. Wilfinger, 37, was arrested April 28. She faces three counts of statutory sexual seduction by a person older than 21, one count of engaging in sexual conduct with a student between the ages of 14 and 15, one count of engaging in sexual conduct with a student between the ages of 16 and 17, and three counts of lewdness with a child older than 14. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Nathan RE: Get rid of icon text background Dear Webby On my desktop the icons and the words under them used to have an invisble background and it looked Good...But I made my own background and now the words have colors behind them. Is there a way to get the invisibilty back again? Thank you for your time!! Nathan Dear Nathan Open System Properties in Control Panel, choose the Advanced tab, click Settings in the Performance section. Turn on the Use drop shadows for icon labels on the desktop option, and click Ok. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ After receiving his medication from the pharmacist, the customer asks, "Are these time release pills?" The pharmacist replies, "Yes. They begin to work after your check clears." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Double Crust Taco Pie By Paige P. [2 Posts] This recipe came from a cookbook in my vintage book collection. I made it once and was an instant family favorite. Children love it! Approximate Time: 30 Minutes Yield: 6 to 8 servingsDouble Crust Taco Pie Ingredients: 2 cans crescent rolls 1 lb lean ground beef 1 pkg taco seasoning 1/2 cup salsa 4 cups shredded cheese Steps: On sprayed cookie sheet, spread out one can of crescent rolls in a flat sheet. Pinch perforations closed. Brown ground beef in skillet with taco seasoning, drain if desired. Add salsa. Layer beef mixture and shredded cheese until all used, starting with a beef layer, ending with a cheese layer on crescent dough. Unroll second can of crescent rolls onto beef mixture and cheese layering. Roll and pinch edges together, leaving the natural perforations open to serve as steam vents. Bake at 400 degrees F for 15 minutes. Serve with sour cream and salsa as desired. Source: Cooking to Beat the Band! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After trying a new shampoo for the first time. A guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer. Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste and paper items. "Well, what do you think" his wife asked smiling. "Next time," he replied. "I'm writing to General Motors! ___________________________________________________
dad dressing twins
____________________________________________________ Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody listens to you anyway. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to the Folks from Erie for these ancient Burma Shave poems. Once upon a time, before the big billboards became popular, these were on simple boards along the highways all across the country. DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT Burma Shave DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING Burma Shave BROTHER SPEEDER, LET'S REHEARSE; ALL TOGETHER, GOOD MORNING NURSE Burma Shave CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND LOTS MORE STEER Burma Shave SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN X MARKES THE SPOT Burma Shave THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED HIM TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE Burma Shave AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT A BEAUTIFUL NEW CAR WASN'T IT Burma Shave NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU Burma Shave A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN' Burma Shave AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY Burma Shave BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE Burma Shave THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING Burma Shave CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. Burma Shave PASSING SCHOOL ZONE TAKE IT SLOW LET OUR LITTLE SHAVERS GROW Burma Shave ____________________________________________________
20 gorgeous real life villages which come straight out of fairytales.

Today on May 16
1770 Marie Antoinette, at age 14, married the future King 
 Louis XVI of France, who was 15.
1866 The U.S. Congress authorized the first 5-cent piece
1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson was acquitted during 
 the Senate impeachment, by one vote.
1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set 
 up the Afghan state.
1881 In Germany, the first electric tram for the public 
 started service.
1888 The first demonstration of recording on a flat disc 
 was demonstrated by Emile Berliner.
1888 The capitol of Texas was dedicated in Austin.
1920 Joan of Arc was canonized in Rome.
1946 "Annie Get Your Gun" opened on Broadway.
1946 Jack Mullin showed the world the first magnetic 
 tape recorder.
1960 Theodore Maiman, at Hughes Research Laboratory 
 in California, demonstrated the first working laser.
1963 After 22 Earth orbits Gordon Cooper returned to 
 Earth, ending Project Mercury.
1969 Venus 5, a Russian spacecraft, landed on the 
 planet Venus.
1975 Japanese climber Junko Tabei became the first woman 
 to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
1987 The Bobro 400 set sail from New York Harbor with 
 3,200 tons of garbage. The barge travelled 6,000 miles 
 in search of a place to dump its load. It returned to 
 New York Harbor after 8 weeks with the same load.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police do not have 
 to have a search warrant to search discarded garbage.
1991 Queen Elizabeth II became the first British monarch 
 to address the U.S. Congress.
1997 In Zaire, President Mobutu Sese Seko gave control of 
 the country to rebel forces ending 32 years of autocratic 
 rule.
2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was nominated 
 to run for U.S. Senator in New York. She was the first U.S. 
 first lady to run for public office.
2005 Sony Corp. unveiled three styles of its new 
 PlayStation 3 video game machine.
2016  smiled.


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