Dear Webby: Source for 4:3 monitors 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  July 31, 2009
Wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. --- Robert Byrne I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on. --- Beryl Pfizer
Two women are paired together as partners in a club tournament and meet on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asks, "What's your handicap?" "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replies. "Really," says the first woman, suitably impressed and thinking they might have a shot at the championship. "Yes," says her partner, "I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones.
Angus McInnes is dying. On his deathbed, he looks up and says: "Is my wife here?" "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you," his wife replies. "Are my children here?" he asks. "Yes, daddy, we are all here?" "And my other relatives? Are they also here?" "Yes, we are all here," says one. "Then why is the light on in the kitchen?"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kendra Smith, 37, and John Bradley Crenshaw, 40 of Inverness, Illinois Sent in by Walter, the Stonecarver Own ID plus stolen credit card An Inverness couple who left a block party early in order to burglarize their neighbors' home have been arrested following a domestic dispute in Rock Island, where they traveled to pawn the stolen goods, police said. Kendra Smith, 37, and John Bradley Crenshaw, 40, of the 700 block of Stone Canyon Circle, are charged with residential burglary and unlawful use of a credit card. Sorting through the quirky story involved a cooperative investigation by Inverness and Palatine police, as well as the Rock Island County sheriff's department. On July 18, according to authorities, Crenshaw and Smith, who are dating, attended the same Barrington block party as their victims. They left early knowing their neighbors on the 700 block of Stone Canyon Circle wouldn't be home and used a baseball bat to break a window and unlock the front door, Inverness police officer Michael Kirby said. The victims returned around 9 p.m. and found jewelry, a coin collection and identification missing. Over the next few days, authorities said, Crenshaw and Smith used the credit card they stole from their neighbors at a Blockbuster store in Palatine, which police were able to view on a surveillance video. Smith used her own store membership card during the purchase, Cook County state's attorney's office spokesman Andy Conklin said. Warrants were obtained, and the couple became persons of interest in the burglary. Meanwhile, Crenshaw and Smith drove to western Illinois to pawn the stolen items, Kirby said. During their stay at a hotel, the couple got into a domestic dispute that prompted a visit from the Rock Island County sheriff's police. Smith and Crenshaw were arrested and, on Monday, Inverness police traveled to Rock Island to follow up on the burglary investigation. Smith and Crenshaw appeared in Rolling Meadows court twice this week on different charges. In total, a Cook County judge set bond at $85,000 for Crenshaw and $65,000 for Smith. Kirby said police have recovered a large percentage of the stolen goods and proceeds from their sale, but well over $10,000 is still missing.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roy Re: 4:3 Monitor Source Dear Webby, Here is the link to where we buy our 4:3 monitors: http://snipurl.com/oba7q [www_bhphotovideo_com] Roy Dear Roy Thanks for the link! Have FUN! DearWebby
A couple are asleep in their beds late one night, when the wife thinks she hears a noise downstairs. She nudges her husband and whispers, "Wake up, wake up." "What's the matter?" he asks. "There are burglars in the kitchen. I think they're eating the pot roast I made tonight." "That'll teach them!" says the husband.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dehydrate Extra Summer Squash Summer squash taking over? I chop mine into about 1/4 to 1/2 inch pieces and dehydrate them. Because of the water content of summer squash, they really dehydrate to a tiny size, so you may need a smaller grate. Then I mix them in almost everything - meatloaf (instead of bread, crackers, oatmeal, etc), soups, sauces, quick breads. You get the idea. If your dehydrated squash pieces are too large, just whiz them in a food processor or blender until you get the size you need. Even picky eaters (like my grand kids) will eat it all, and not realize there are extra veggies on their plate. By Barb from Sacramento, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

What's the difference between education and experience? If you read the instructions, you have education. If you don't read the instructions, you WILL get experience.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replies indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom and I'll show you how."
» Toygers
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com




[ view entry ] ( 302 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 1514 )
Dear Webby: Monitor recommendation 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  July 30, 2009

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. --- Socratex If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. --- Catherine Aird
Thanks to Dianne for this story: Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his home town and then left for Manhattan, where he quickly rose to the top of his field. Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference, coincidentally held in his home town. He walked on stage and placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor. As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted. The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the room and reverberated it down the hall! He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his home town again. Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Levy and arrived under cover of darkness. The desk clerk asked him, "Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Levy?" Dr. Epstein replied, "Well, young man, no, it isn't. I grew up here and received my education here, but then I moved away." Why haven't you visited?" asked the desk clerk. Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I've been too ashamed to return." The clerk consoled him. "Sir, while I don't have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn't even remembered by others. I bet that's true of your incident too." Dr. Epstein replied, "Son, I doubt that's the case with my incident." "Was it a long time ago?" "Yes, many years." The clerk asked, "Was it before or after the Epstein Fart?"
A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business, much like his own, opened up next door and erected a huge sign, which read, "BEST DEALS." He was horrified when another competitor opened up on the other side, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading, "LOWEST PRICES." The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put a sign of all over his own shop. It read . . . "MAIN ENTRANCE."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shane Walker, 25, Charleston, West Virginia She asked the cops to find her dope Shane Walker. a Charleston, West Virginia woman contacted cops to say that her boyfriend had stolen her marijuana stash. Normally, that's not something you share with the cops. But Walker apparently really wanted those 3.5 ounces back. The cops eventually found the dope and as a result Walker spent her 25th birthday in the local lockup and is facing a felony possession charge.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cyndy Re: Monitor Recommendation Hi Webby, I was looking to replace my computer in the new year and seen a lot about 16:9 and 4:3 ratios for monitors. Right now I have a crappy ole CRT model that does 800x600 at best. I was really looking forward to getting one of those flat screens/monitors. Fraction wise, those numbers mean the same thing; but I am getting screen monitor wise there are apples & broccoli. The monitor I have at work is a flat screen. Company policy says were are to use the 800x600 resolution; but find it enlarges everything rather unpleasantly. I have my work monitor at 1240x1024; but have had monitors at previous placements with better resolution. Any recommendations on what to ask/look for? Cyndy Dear Cyndy I agree, 800 x 600 is barbaric, when most people run their monitors at 1600 x 1200, or higher. 800 x 600 is known to cause eye strain and a policy like that will get them sued, sooner or later. 1240 x 1024 or 1240 x 960 are fine and easy on the eyes. 1600 x 1200 is even better. That is clear as a photo, and makes even small fonts easy to read. Wide monitors don't give you extra space on the side. They simply saw off a third on the bottom. You can easily try that by putting a couple of strips of masking tape across the bottom of the screen and hide the bottom third. Go ahead and try that for a shift! It will cause some profanity, but I am willing to bet that you will tear that masking tape off long before the end of the shift. You CAN get normal 4:3 ratio monitors. Just go in through the business entrance, not the garage sale entrance. Excpt for Dell, most computer vendors sell proper 4:3 monitors, though not necessarily in flat LCD version. Here at Webby we run all machines at 1600 x 1200 on CRT monitors. When I see the 1024 x 576 flat screen yuppie monitors, I just laugh. They saved $50 on the monitor, and get to spend $250 on new glasses. DUH! Cruise the garage sales! There are always some gullible idiots selling perfectly good CRT monitors to switch to "fashionable" flat screens. Also, sometimes people move to smaller apartments, and don't have room for a half fridge size monitor, that requires two people to lift. I cheerfully take it off their yard for $50, and laugh for months! Have FUN! DearWebby
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them!"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Foods Right in the Can If you accidentally bought pineapple rings and needed chunks, you will no doubt have to cut them. Why drain them, put them on a counter cutting board or plate and create a mess? Cut them when they are still in the can. Just insert your knife in the center hole, and cut toward the can edge 16 times and you will have the same pieces you would if you bought them chunked. By Poor But Proud from Salem OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A principal is making his rounds in the school when he hears a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushes in and spots one boy, taller than the others, who seems to be making the most noise. He seizes the lad, drags him to the hall, and tells him to wait there until he is excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restores order and lectures the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he says, "are there any questions?" One girl stands up timidly. "Please sir," she asks, "may we have our teacher back?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Amazon Basin
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 227 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1274 )
Dear Webby, computer disconnects automatically 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  July 29, 2009

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. --- Nancy Astor "The only unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable." --- John F. Kennedy
At the company barbecue a lady stood up and said that it was time to get ready for the celebrations. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every man to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The poor bartender was almost crushed to death.
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The two women just won't leave the poor man alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay to the right!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "Who's driving this car, anyway, you or your mother?"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Malaisian Sunset The same picture in 1600 x 1200
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Keith Cullen, 33 and Paul Wiggins, 45, in Swnsea, Wales Burglars pick wrong place to sleep it off SWANSEA, Wales, July 27 (UPI) -- After stealing about $1,154 in liquor, two burglars decided to celebrate and got so drunk they fell asleep instead of escaping, police in Swansea, Wales, said. Burglars Keith Cullen and Paul Wiggins stacked up the stolen booze outside the store and then went in to have a drink. Police found them asleep in the store the next morning, The Sun newspaper reported. A Swansea prosecutor said closed circuit television recorded the entire theft of the Kuehne Nagle Drinks Logistics depot. Police said Cullen turned up for his hearing at Swansea magistrates' court so drunk he was prohibited from entering the building. Wiggins disappeared from the court. Neither returned so both were tried in absentia. Cullen, 33, and Wiggins, 45, were convicted of burglary and theft and will be sentenced later this week.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: MooMom Re: Automatic disconnect Webby, Hi....can you tell me why when I get connected and get on line or check my e-mail this dumb thing will disconnect after a few minutes or so and I have to reconnect again and so on. It started doing this about a week or so ago. Thanks so much. Moo Mom Dear Moo Mom It seems you have your email configured to disconnect after checking for mail. Have a look at http://support.hubris.net/knowledge_base/016.html and see how to turn that setting off with your particular email program. They have instructions for different email programs Have FUN! DearWebby
Kids never understand parent's logic. They always fail to see why they have to go to bed when the parents are tired.


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A young minister, in his first days at his first parish, is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home, he stands before the open casket and tries to think of words to console the widow. Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is only the husk, the shell. The nut has gone to heaven."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

An octogenarian who is an avid golfer moves to a new town and joins the local country club. The first time he goes to the club to play, however, he-s told there isn-t anybody he can play with because all the members are already out on the course. The old fellow repeats several times that he really wants to play. Finally the assistant pro agrees to go out with him. The pro also says he-ll give the man a 12 stroke handicap. "I really don't need a handicap," he says. "I have been playing quite well. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps." And he does play well, though on the 18th hole, after a long drive, his ball lands in a sand trap. Still, when he shoots from the trap, he hits a very high ball that bounces onto the green and rolls into the hole. The pro walks over to the sand trap where his opponent is still standing. "Nice shot," he says, "but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps?" Replies the octogenarian, "I do. Please give me a hand and help me up out of this blasted sandpit."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Gorgeous Nature
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 193 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1354 )
Dear Webby: Hate wide screen monitors 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  July 28, 2009

Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings. --- George F. Will Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. --- Frank Leahy
Thanks to Dianne for this story: I had forgotten to buy a bottle of wine to take to a dinner party. I called my neighbor to see if he could let me have one of his, which I'd replace. He wasn't home, but since we have each other's house keys, I let myself in and chose an attractive bottle from his wine rack. The host and guests praised my choice of wine, and I managed to remove the label from the bottle before we left the party. My local liquor store didn't have that particular wine, but they referred me to another, more exclusive, store, which was delighted to sell me the replacement bottle... for $98! When I presented the bottle to my neighbor, I thanked him and praised his fine taste in wine. He proudly told me the bottle I had replaced contained homemade wine. He had got the bottle from a recycling bin.
According to statistics, last year over 17 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were college students.
Thanks to Nita for this picture: Dear Webby, Picture is a male Evening Grosbeck feeding the little one while the female watches. Nita
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a drunk driver in Adelaide, South Australia Drunk stops at police station for directions An Adelaide man will face separate drink driving charges after going to a police station to ask for directions. The 27-year-old was breath-tested at the police station, charged with drink driving and had his licence cancelled on the spot. Police say the man went to the Aldinga station, south of Adelaide, on Friday to ask for directions to a local school so he could pick up his grandchildren. After being charged, the man left the Aldinga police station - and drove away. Patrols later found him driving again, with his grandchildren in the car. The man is due to face court next month. He will probably have a few more drunk driving charges by then.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chuck Re: Hate wide screens Hi Webby, I have a techy question fer ya. I have one of those stoopid, new computer screens that's too wide. It stretches everything to fit the screen. It's all squished and unnatural looking. I want normal on the weird screen. Is there a way to tell my pc to make everything normal. I don't care if I have black on the edges or lose the top and bottom of the picture, just as long as everything is normal looking. Some day my old monitor is going to bite the dust and then all my pictures will be distorted on this crappy, new screen. Hallllp! Thanks for all the fine info you impart daily. It's much appreciated. Chuck Dear Chuck You can still get standard monitors. You just have to go in through the business entrance, not the garage sale entrance. With a bit of looking, you can even find portrait monitors or pivoting monitors like the Samsung SyncMaster 910t Samsung makes great monitors, but has an unchallenged reputation for the world's worst customer service. However, unless you use it for advanced gaming with ultra- fancy video cards, you won't need their support. Another monitor with a good reputation in the business world is the HP GS918A8 1280 x 1024 for $229 in Canada, probably about the same in the US. Again, go in through the business entrance, otherwise all you see is overpriced wide screens. Have FUN! DearWebby
Little Johnny loved surfing the Web, and kept track of his passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. His mother noticed his Disney password was, "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. And little Johnny said, "Because, they said it has to have at least four characters."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An angry motorist goes back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier. "Listen," the motorist grumbles to the owner of the garage, "when I bought that battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!" "Sorry," apologizes the garage owner. "I didn't think your car would last that long."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A young man from the city goes to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle shows him the usual things, the livestock, the crops. After three days, however, it is obvious that the nephew is getting bored, and the uncle is running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle has an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?" This seems to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he goes. After a few hours, the nephew returns. "How did you enjoy that?" his uncle asks. "It was great," the nephew says. "I kinda like those dogs, so I took the cats instead. Got any more cats?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Frigid and Fragile
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 155 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1260 )
Dear Webby: Computer is changing time on it's own 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  July 27, 2009

Dear Webby About the picture with the double rainbow: Most people don’t realize that the colors in the second rainbow are reversed from those in the first rainbow. It has to do with the number of times the light beam bounces around in the raindrop before it gets to your eyeball. You might want to mention that, since most people I have mentioned it to have thought it was fascinating. Thanks for the laughs, the tech support, and the thought-provoking items. Aloha, Michael Rodby Thanks, Michael! I had never realized that before either, but I will sure keep my eye out for it from now on! Have FUN! DearWebby
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.' -- Ronnie Shakes

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Antonio Fernandez Martinez, 21, of Oakland, California Fake cop tries to stop real officer OAKLAND, California (AP) — Oakland police say a man impersonating a police officer tried to pull over a real undercover officer and was arrested. Police say 21-year-old Antonio Fernandez Martinez of Oakland was arrested Wednesday in the Fruitvale district after trying to pull over an unmarked police vehicle. Martinez was driving a Ford Crown Victoria outfitted with flashing lights, a microphone and loudspeakers. Martinez, a convicted car thief, will have his felony probation revoked and could face a prison term. The officer, Jim Beere, says Martinez probably thought he'd be an easy mark to rob.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: Computer changes to wrong time at night. Good Afternoon Webby, I hope you're having a blissful Sunday. I have a situation and I don't know how to fix it. My computer continues to give me the wrong time. I have gone into the change the time, changed it back to daylight savings, clicked the applied button and clicked "OK". The time then appears to be correct in my lower right corner of the monitor. Sometime during the night, the clock time changes back an hour again. Have any clues? Many thanks for this answer and the several you have helped with in the past. Carol Dear Carol There is no known hardware reason for the time to change by exactly one time zone. Have you got it set to adjust to Summer time automatically? Have FUN! DearWebby
Sara, it is OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving on Electricity in the Summer We live in Central Mississippi and the weather is hot everyday, between 95 and 100. We are trying to keep our air conditioning costs down for the summer and save money, so the ceiling fans and box fans are getting used a lot. We have also just installed a clothesline in our yard and are hanging the clothes out to dry. If they are too stiff after coming in, then they are run through the dryer for 10 minutes at night. So far our electric bill is over $100 less than it was last year at this time. By Donna from Mississippi Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and is apt to bite. The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks up at the wary assistant. "Don't worry," the parrot squawks, "this won't hurt a bit, ...... and you wanted a vasectomy anyway."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say the blessing when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that I have asked for a blessing on all this stuff before."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Ducks Hunting
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 275 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1288 )
Dear Webby: cards from actioncat.com 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  July 26, 2009

There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say. --- Cyril Connolly He who hesitates is a damned fool. --- Mae West It is bad luck to be superstitious. --- Andrew W. Mathis When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. --- Bernard Bailey The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers
Tammy goes to the hospital desk and says she needs to see an upturn. The nurse says, "You mean 'intern'." "Whatever. I need to get a contamination." The nurse corrected her, "You mean an 'examination'." "Whatever. I think I need to go to the fraternity ward." Again, the nurse said, "You mean the 'maternity' ward." "Upturn / Intern, contamination / examination, fraternity / maternity, WHATEVER ! All I know is that I haven't demonstrated in two months, and I think I'm stagnant !"
Tony and John met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you?" Tony asked. "Not too good," John replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust." "Oh dear, that sounds terrible." Tony said. "What business were you in?" "I sell lucky charms," said John.
An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a 'clunk.' He then made a left turn and again heard a 'clunk.' Back at the shop he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with the notation, "Removed bowling ball from trunk". See the second rainbow?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Maurice Mason, 32, of Lake Worth, Florida Clerk gives robber a knuckle sandwich and a zap GREENACRES - While police watched video of Michael Maurice Mason stealing lottery tickets a day earlier, they heard a dispatch of a robbery and caught him running down the street with a cash register, authorities said. Mason, 32, of suburban Lake Worth, is charged with petit larceny and five counts of lottery violations as well as drug possession. On Thursday, Judge Ted S. Booras ordered Mason held in lieu of $21,000 bail. According to a Greenacres Public Safety report, about 2:30 p.m. Wednesday, Mason came into the Isla del Sol Coqui restaurant, 3092 Jog Road at 10th Avenue North. The cashier said Mason asked for change for $10, and when the cashier asked to see the bill, he began screaming, "I want change!" When the cashier turned to call 911, Mason grabbed $40 from a tip box, then yanked the cash register, containing about $292, off the counter and ran out. He was captured after a brief chase.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: no name AOLer Re: Actioncat.com postcards The last several cards I've received thru Action Cat postcards, the links in the email have not worked. They are linked to actioncat.com instead of http://www.actioncat.com. Thought you might like to know. It's very irritating to have to go to the site and the pick up window. Dear Noname AOLer For properly set up domains like Actioncat.com, it makes no difference whether you use www or not. I have no idea why AOL is blocking you from receiving your cards. Just visit a friend, who is not handicapped with "Alzheimers Outta Luck", and retrieve the card there. People on the real Internet have no problem receiving and retrieving Actioncat.com postcards. By the way, has anybody ever told you, that on the real Internet it is considered rude, if somebody just blurts like a sandbox terrorist, without salutation and valediction? I realize that is unfortunately the norm on AOL, but it is easy enough to outgrow. Have FUN! DearWebby
A loaded minivan pulls into the only remaining campsite. Four children leap from the vehicle and begin feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rush to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marvels to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork." "I have a system," says the father. "No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive Solar Drapes For an inexpensive alternative to solar drapes, go to a camping store and buy emergency solar blankets. Tacky glue can be used to make a pocket for a tension rod to slip through. Fold the solar blankets to the length needed and then make the pockets for the tension rod. The new solar curtain can be put up behind the existing blinds or drapes. It makes a world of difference in keeping your home cooler. The solar blankets are available at some tool outlets or camping stores and are very reasonable in price. They are sturdier and larger than the thin solar curtains on the market. By Meari If at all possible, put the solar blankets outside the glass, or at least as snug and close to the glass as possible. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Porridge: Budget conscious parent will tell you that it is a traditional, nutritious, lovingly prepared hot cereal breakfast dish. Kids will tell you that the name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in his paintings that are on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replies. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Good Day - Bad Day
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 206 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1254 )
Dear Webby: How to tell the version of Windows? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  July 25, 2009

Prosperity belongs to those who learn new things the fastest." --- Paul Zane Pilzer When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. --- Thomas Szasz
"Look at ME!" boasted a man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit- ups and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 65th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How, with a bran muffin ? "
Just before our first long deployment, two Navy buddies and I were talking about the stress of leaving our families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard our conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!"
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end an argument is to make love." "Well," said the other, "that would certainly revolutionize the arguing after every football game about who should have won, !"
After sunset from my office window See the sliver of moon above the horizon?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tracy Armstead, 29, of Houston, Texas Clerk gives robber a knuckle sandwich and a zap Jul 24, 3:30 PM (ET) HOUSTON (AP) - A robbery attempt in Houston turned into a knuckle sandwich for the suspect. Sandwich store clerk Yava Matthews punched the man in the mouth as he tried to get away with some money. Matthews said the man Monday night lunged over the counter and grabbed her cash drawer. Matthews said her "initial response was to hit him. So I hit him." Matthews said the two were then "tussling, tussling and tussling," so she asked customers and others witnessing the struggle if anyone had something to restrain the man. A lot of people were standing around and I told them to give me something. Somebody brought me some handcuffs, so I got him and I handcuffed him,” Matthews said. Then someone handed her a Taser. “I got the Taser in my hand and I am Tasing him and he says, ‘I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.’ I said, ‘If you can talk to me, you can breathe. So be quiet before I Taser you again,’” Matthews said. She says that Armstead, who is 5 feet 11 inches tall and weighs 235 pounds, began to cry. Seconds later, the police arrived. “There were about 15 police cars and I was so excited to see them. When they came, they told me that I could get up now, and I said, ‘Are you sure? Are you positive about that?’” said Matthews. Police are calling her a hero, but her customers are calling her Rambo.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bob Re: Which version of Vista Dear Webby; how do I check to se which version of windows I am running. on this computer......windows vista home premium. bob Dear Bob Try the Windows key plus PAUSE. Have FUN! DearWebby
"That new girl in the typing pool is driving me crazy!" bemoaned Rich to Ernie. "That girl is a real mirage." "Aren't you using the wrong word?" asked Ernie. "A mirage is something you can see but that isn't quite all there." "Yeah," came the reply "That describes her exactly!"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Weather Planning for Vacation When planning a vacation, be aware of your destinations weather and temperatures. Some folks who come to Las Vegas, NV, think just because they're coming to "the desert", that it's going to be warm. Not if you come in the winter months, we, too, have cold weather. You might be be getting an inexpensive plane fare and hotel rates, but you could have to spend your savings at a local clothing store buying warmer clothes than what you brought with you. I've heard of lots of people who have to buy long sleeves shirts and jackets, after arriving to what they thought was going to be a warmer climate. By Terri from NV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner: 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

The first week they were married Mick gave his wife almost all his wages for that week, except for fifty pence, which he kept for himself. The next pay-day his wife said to him "Mick, it must have been hard to manage on fifty pence for the week, I don't know how you did it." "You will" he said grimly, "It's your turn to have fifty pence this week...."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Style Your Garage
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 167 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 40 )
dear Webby, is IE8 really necessary? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Fridday,  July 24, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

I improve on misquotation. --- Cary Grant Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice. --- George Jackson There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Gotta love them Southern boys.... We visit Raleigh, NC, where a state cop stopped a drunken driver. While he was ticketing the man, there was a multi-car accident on the other side of the divided highway. The highway patrolman told the drunk to wait. The patrolman went across the highway to sort out the accident. After awhile the drunk figured he'd waited long enough and he drove on home and told his wife that if anybody asked she should say he had been in bed with the flu all day. Within the hour, two state patrolmen appeared at the home of the drunken driver and asked to see him. He came from the bedroom wrapped in a robe and coughing and wheezing. The patrolman asked if he'd been drinking that evening, and he said he'd been sick in bed. They apologized for bothering him and asked if they could take a look at his car. The drunk escorted them to the garage and inside was - a highway patrol car, the blue lights still flashing.
A lady is speeding, and an officer pulls her to the side of the road. As she pulls off onto the shoulder, she realizes she isn't wearing a seat belt. She puts the car in park and quickly slips on the belt as the officer approaches. After talking to her about speeding, the officer says, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she smiles and replies. "Well," asks the officer, "do you always wear it looped through your steering wheel?"
A mother and father are talking about how to improve the behavior of their seemingly incorrigible son. "Maybe we should buy him a bike for his birthday," the mother suggests. "Do you really believe that will help improve his behavior?" her husband asks. "Well, no," she admits. "But it will spread it over a wider area."
Thanks to Randal for these pictures: That's it! A beer bellied Alberta cowboy at 40 miles per hour is more than I can handle. I'm going back to Pamplona and mess with anorexic Spaniards. ---- You can send these, and pictures like them, from Randal's site as free postcards.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Todd Joseph Olin, 40, of Comstock Park, Michigan Drunken driver parks on Mich. police post's lawn Jul 23, 8:56 PM (ET) PAW PAW, Mich. (AP) - Authorities said a lost and confused drunken driver picked the wrong place to stop and rest - the front lawn of the Michigan State Police post in Paw Paw. Police said the man drove onto the lawn of the post early Thursday after overshooting the station's parking lot. He was visibly intoxicated and had vomited on himself. The driver told officers he couldn't remember where he was coming from but said he was going to his Grand Rapids-area home. Michigan State Police said in a statement the man simply happened to choose the post as a resting spot. The man's blood-alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit. Police said he was arrested six times previously for drunken driving and his license has been revoked a long time ago. Olin was arraigned Thursday in Van Buren County District Court on charges of felony operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated and drving with a suspended/revoked license, a misdemeanor, police said. A judge ordered Olin to be held on $25,000 bond. "He's probably cursing luck thinking he's the unluckiest person for ending up where he did," Carlson said. "But he's probably the luckiest guy in the world for ending up where he did considering he could have easily driven the wrong way down the freeway ... or he could have kept going down (60th Avenue) which ends at a lake."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Is IE8 necessry? Dear Webby; I read the instructions you gave for blocking IE8, but my husband says I need to install it to keep up on the latest security that Microsoft has to offer. What's your opinion? Thanks for your daily uplift! Helen Dear Helen IE8 is not evil, just klutzy. If he wants a klutzy browser, let him cuss at it. You can always use FireFox. It is much better, and then you don't have to worry about which IE he is currently cussing at. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two young women -- best friends -- try to do everything together. One day, one announces that she is going to start a diet to lose the pounds she has recently gained. "Good," the other exclaims. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," the first woman replies. "I'll ride with you. Let's go to Burger King."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pay Off Your House I have been re-reading Possum Living by Dolly Freed. Her number one thrifty tip is to have your house paid for. She says: "Have you read John Steinbeck's 'The Grapes of Wrath' When we read it, it completely amazed us. All that starvation, squalor and general misery the Okies were forced to endure stemmed from only two roots: 1. The fact that they didn't own their homes outright. 2. Their mule-headed determination to rely on the money economy. They would have had problems, but not all the grief they had, if they had owned their homesteads in Oklahoma. The geek who stayed behind living on wild rabbits probably wound up living better than anyone else in the story." Dolly might be a little rough, but basically she is right. She's talking about the Great Depression, of course, and some people feel we are headed into that again. So many of us are living from paycheck to paycheck, paying interest on everything we "buy" and buying stuff we don't need. A paid-for house, at least in our current government, is pretty good insurance against starving. But don't make the mistake of using it for collateral on a loan, or you can still lose it. There have been so many newspaper articles in the past three months on people who were well off, at least on paper, who are now homeless. Whatever you have to do, pay off that mortgage. By Coreen from Rupert, ID Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

One day, Little Johnny visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage Little Johnny's arm. "I think you'd better bandage the other arm" , said Little Johnny. "But, why? I'm supposed to bandage the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it." "Doc, you really don't have a clue about how my friends behave!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Birds of a Feather
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 301 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.7 / 49 )
Dear Webby: AOL Trick 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  July 23, 2009

"The punishment of wise men who refuse to take part in the government is to live under the government of worse men." --- Plato What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive? --- Irv Kupcinet
The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog, and the dog will be there to keep the man from touching the computers.
The teacher wrote "Like I ain't had no fun in months" on the board and then she said, "Johnnie , how should I correct that?" Johnnie replied, "Get a new boyfriend?"
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Thanks to Ann for these pictures: Hi Webby, Well, Hotmail finally stopped your Humor letter from coming to my mailbox. I wrote to them and it took about a week, but they are letting you in again. Glad I don't have to keep going to the website to read you. I thought you might like to see these pics. This little Hummingbird flew into our garage and couldn't figure out how to get out. It kept flying up near the ceiling and there are lots of "dust bunnies" up there and they tangled around its beak. Finally exhausted it went into my husband's hand. If you look at the pic closely you can see its beak covered with the webbing. I cleaned it off and we took it to the bird bath and it perked right up. It still sat in his hand for another few minutes before flying off to a tree. Hope you are having a great week, Ann
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joshua Wayne Peters, 17, and Keith Rapheal Boudreaux, 30, in Panama City Beach, Florida TV looked awfully familiar It seemed like more than a lucky coincidence when two men called a Panama City Beach man offering to sell him a 32-inch, flat-screen TV for only $150. It was a 32-inch, flat-screen TV just like the one he had lost in a burglary, and they seemed to know that he needed one. Actually, investigators determined it was the same 32-inch, flat-screen TV, newsherald.com reports. Joshua Wayne Peters, 17, and Keith Rapheal Boudreaux, 30, now are in the Bay County Jail, charged with burglary of a dwelling and dealing in stolen property.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helene Re: AOL trick Dear Webby; Your letter's a pleasure to read. The stories are both educational and entertaining. I'm curious as I know AOL has caused problems for your recipients, especially if they want to vote or follow a link -- if I hold and press the cursor for about 10 seconds, it will eventually take me to the link I'm trying to get. Why does it matter about holding & pressing the link down? Although I can't understand that, it DOES work. Any theories? Thanks a lot for your thoughts. Helene Dear Helene That seems to be an exclusive AOL "feature", that we don't have up here on the real Internet. However, I am glad for you, that you found a trick to bypass their censorship! Have FUN! DearWebby
David's wife was mad at him, because he forgot her birthday. Quick-witted, David said, "But how do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Plant Shade Trees to Conserve Energy I have a large shade tree on the south side of my property that keeps the summer sun off of my mobile home. This shade tree makes such a big difference that I rarely need air conditioning. It's a large cedar, but any fast growing tree will work. If you plant a tree that loses it's leaves in the fall, then you'll still get the benefit of winter sunshine to help heat your home! By Cyinda from Near Seattle Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat. And then there are those of us who consider a recipe as an approximate starting point for wild experiments and wacky changes, and who get impatient when other people can't get the same results, when they follow a simple recipe.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say Hi ! to them, but he does not want to take his beer mug with him. So he keeps it on a table, along with a note "I spit in this beer" thinking that no one will have it then. Upon return, he sees another note saying "Me too!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: BBQ Sauce Recipes
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 197 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 31 )
Dear Webby: Fake postcard notices 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  July 22, 2009

There are two types of people-- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.' --- Frederick L Collins You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm. --- Vince Lombardi
It is the end of the day, and a police officer parks his van in front of the station. A police dog is in the back, and when the officer turns off the motor, the dog begins to bark. The noise gets the attention of a little boy standing on the curb, and the boy asks, "Is that a dog you got back there?" "It sure is," the officer replies. Puzzled, the boy looks at him, then looks in at the dog. Finally he says to the cop, "What'd he get busted for ?"
Thanks to Gloria for this story: A very gentle Texas lady was driving across the Pecos High Bridge in Texas one day. As she neared the middle of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to (means 'getting ready to' in Texas ) jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump." She said, "Well, think of your wife and children." He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids." She said, "Well, Remember the Alamo." He replied, ''What's the Alamo?'' She replied, ''Well, bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee.''
I've noticed the oddest behavior with yuppettes. The only time they won't look in a mirror is when they're pulling out of a parking space. Two Yuppies were discussing their current relationships: "At first she seemed dull and uninteresting, but when you finally get to know her, she's downright boring."
Turbo Mouse
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to AT&T in San Jose, California Fridge clean requires office evacuation A Californian call centre had to be evacuated and a seven people taken to hospital - after a bid to clear the office fridge. The stench of rotting food was so bad that firefighters had to clear the AT&T building in downtown San Jose, reports San Jose Mercury. Seven workers were taken to hospital and another 28 taken ill after a worker decided it was time to clean out the mini-fridge. The mixture of old food and two different cleaning chemicals caused people to need treatment for vomiting and nausea. But authorities said the worker who cleaned the refrigerator didn't need any treatment - as she can't smell because of allergies. Capt Barry Stallard, of the San Jose fire department, said he was unsure what had been left in the fridge but said the smell was like rotting meat.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elke Re: Fake postcards? Dear Webby; I keep getting all these fake postcards, supposedly sent from my address to my address, from some site that I have never heard of. Unlike real postcards, the pick-up notice has no security number, does not mention the name of the sender or my name. And they are sent with Microsoft Windows Mail, not by a SUN or Linux server. They are obviously as fake as a three dollar bill, and I can't imagine anybody being silly enough to fall for it. They keep trying, though, and are getting to be a nuisance. How do I clip them? Thanks Elke Dear Elke Look at the FROM line: From: "greetingcard.org" On your own mail or on a legitimate postcard, you would see "Elke *******" If you have MailWasher, it's easy to make a filter: If the FROM CONTAINS etanner@*****.com and the FROM DOES NOT CONTAIN Elke, then delete the email automatically, without showing it. That also eliminates any other crap that has your address forged in as the sender address. Have FUN! DearWebby
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too cold, then he asked it be turned down because he was too hot, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Low Cost Teeth Cleaning Check with your local college or business school to see if they have a dental hygienist program. They usually offer low cost teeth cleaning and other services. It is done by students, but everything is checked by an instructor. So you get a good cleaning, although it may take a little longer. By Ginger from Duluth, MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

While the US stock market is at an all time low, the ups and downs frighten a lot of small investors like me. Bob went to his financial advisor at the bank and ask if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby. Bob was amazed and asked, "Really ??? Even with all the fluctuations?" He said, "Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say Hi ! to them, but he does not want to take his beer mug with him. So he keeps it on a table, along with a note "I spit in this beer" thinking that no one will have it then. Upon return, he sees another note saying "Me too!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Museum of glass
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 186 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1281 )
Dear Webby: How do I start automatic updates? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  July 20, 2009

It is only an auctioneer who can equally and impartially admire all schools of art. --- Oscar Wilde Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. --- Aldous Huxley People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. --- Socratex Man who sink into womans arms soon have arms in womans sink. --- Confucius
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. A passenger asks the captain, "Who is that man, and why is he so upset?" "I've no idea," the captain says, "but every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."
It was cold and rainy at the Atlantic Ocean resort where Sue was spending her vacation, but she finally bundled up and went down to the beach. There she saw a man in a bathing suit, lying on a large beach blanket. She walked up to him and asked why he was punishing himself that way. "I've been waiting all year for this vacation so I could get some color," he said. "And I'm going to get color - even if it's blue."
A couple of Redneck hunters in the rural south are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what do I do next?"
Thanks to dad for this picture: This is the same Notalsofia in better lighting.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jason Nesbitt of Vero beach, Florida No espect for beer VERO BEACH, FL -- Vero Beach police say Jason Nesbitt was pointed out by a police officer responding to a domestic battery call on Monday. When Cpl. Oscar Dominquez arrived, he noticed that Nesbitt fit the description of an armed robber wanted in a Kwik Stop robbery from the week before. The girlfriend of the apparent armed robber was shown the surveillance video from Kwik Stop and she positively Identified the suspect as her boyfriend, Jason Nesbitt. Police say the Kwik Stop store at 1401 16th street was robbed on July 2nd at 10:30pm. A white male entered the store, grabbed a can of beer from a cooler then approached the cashier. The man appeared to be holding an object that looked like a firearm, according to police. The male then instructed the cashier to give him all of the money. The suspect was handed the cash and exited the store, riding away on a bicycle, leaving behind his beer can at the counter. Jason Nesbitt's fingerprints matched with the fingerprints lifted from the can of beer left at the scene by the suspect. On Tuesday, Det. Charles Moran charged Jason Nesbitt with robbery of the Kwik Stop store. Jason Nesbitt is currently being held in the Indian River County Jail on assault, battery, and robbery charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: How do I do automatic updating Dear Webby; Thanks for the beautiful cactus pic today. Your dad some has some pretty ones. I loved the jokes today too. Especailly the one about the pastor & mayor & dead mule. Our church is in a rual area & one of our members is the mayor of the small town our church is in so of course I dahd to forward it on to him. As to your tech dept today- how to I get to miocrosoft updating? I tried before but got confused & didn't want to take the chance of getting things I don't want. Like IE7 or 8 & the sp 2 & 3 pks. I have Windows xp- sp pk1. Thanks so much for all the fun & wonderful pc tips. Have a purrfect day, Sharon Dear Sharon XP-SP2 is OK SP3 will probably ruin your machine. To turn on Automatic Updates in Windows XP (SP2) Click Start, and then click Control Panel. Click Automatic Updates. Choose Automatic (recommended). Then in there, select Notify me but don't automatically download or install files. That gives you a chance to veto stuff that you don't want. Have FUN! DearWebby
At a session with a marriage counselor, the wife snapped at her husband: "That's not true ! I do so enjoy sex !" Then, turning to the counselor, she explained: "But this blimey bloke expects it four or five times a year !"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bring an Empty Water Bottle Through Airport Security Since we are not allowed to bring liquids on the plane, when I travel I carry an empty water bottle. After passing through security I fill the bottle with water from the fountain. Then I have water to drink on the plane. By Walter from Chapel Hill, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A farmer named O'Rourke lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on... After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so O'Rourke went to the parish priest: "Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the poor creature?" Father Michael replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." O'Rourke said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Michael: "Now, now... why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic!"
Brother Smith called his bishop and said: "I know today is General Conference but, the 49'ers are in the playoffs. Bishop I am a long- time fan. I've got to watch the 49'ers game on TV." The bishop responds: Brother, that's what VCR's are for." Brother Smith is surprised. "You mean I can tape General Conference?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair. There were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked the man. "Ummm, yeah... so," the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch ALL the fish?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Snowed under
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 236 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1299 )
Dear Webby: Two updates in July? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  July 19, 2009

Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one. --- A. J. Liebling If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. --- Joe Martin, Mister Boffo
While making her rounds, the Head Nurse noticed a young female patient missing. Pressing the intercom, she said "Lori, where's the patient in 340?" "Oh!" came the reply. "Well... she was complaining of severe chills, so I put her in bed with Mr. Johnson in 328 who was running that high fever."
In Canada the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are? In England they say "Its 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock do you know where your husband is?" In Washington they say Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"
At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. A guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife has sent you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love you very much." The speaker replied, "You don't know my wife. The letters stand for "Keep it short, Stupid."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Notalsofia bloomed today
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Evan Zuleger, 18, of Bexar County, Texas Busted 'parking,' naked man hits deputy with car Evan Zuleger, 18, is facing charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Bexar County Sheriff's deputies say the young man and his girlfriend were parked in a Lexus on the side of the road near Babcock and Scenic Loop Road. A passing patrol officer took notice. Deputy Ino Badillo said the patrol officer shined a spotlight on the car and started flashing his red and blue lights. Badillo says that's when Zuleger jumped from the back seat to the front, leaving his clothes still on the floor. Deputies say Zuleger started driving the car straight toward the officer. He allegedly struck the officer in the hip and leg area. The arrest warrant says the officer fell to the ground and later had to go to the hospital. Badillo says shortly after hitting the officer, Zuleger lost control of his car and smashed into a telephone pole. Not giving up, he jumped out of the car and took off running. Deputies say he still didn't have a stitch of clothing on. However, besides his clothes, he also left his naked girlfriend behind in the crashed car to deal with the patrol officer. Badillo said she had no problem giving up Zuleger's name and address. However, when deputies knocked on the door of his Shavano Park home, Zuleger's maid answered and said Zuleger wasn't home. Deputies say Zuleger ended up turning himself in Wednesday afternoon. In addition to the aggravated assault charges, deputies say he also could face charges of evading arrest and possession of marijuana.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ollie Re: two Microsoft patches in July? Dear Webby I have been told that Microsoft sends out their bug fixes on the second Tuesday of the month, and that patches at other dates are likely bogus. What's the story with the second round of patches this month? Ollie Dear Ollie It seems legit and from Microsoft. Probably the bug fixes had bugs that needed to be fixed right away and could not wait until next month. They didn't slow Windows down much more. As long as the bug fixes come in through the regular Microsoft update, don't worry about them. Make sure you do the updting in CUSTOM mode, not Express. That way you can stop undesirable items like IE8 or SP3. Have FUN! DearWebby
A cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 90s appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it down to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped onto solid ground, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Bandannas as Cloth Napkins For a cute, country touch to your dinner table, use colorful bandannas for napkins. We used to use a roll of paper towels, instead of paper napkins, but then I discovered how inexpensive bandannas are, when purchased through online websites. Buy the heavy-use ones by the dozen, they're less than 50 cents apiece that way! By LS from Boise, ID Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Two elderly ladies met at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead."
A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department.They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now the preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me anyway? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?" The preacher paused for a brief moment and then replied;"Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin first!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Jimmy is almost 29 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Jimmy just dates and dates. Finally a friend asks him, 'What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you that particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?' 'No,' Jimmy replies. 'I meet many nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my Mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!' 'Listen,' his friend suggests, 'Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?' Many weeks go by and again Jimmy and his friend get together. 'So, Jimmy, did you find the perfect girl yet? One that's just like your Mother?' Jimmy shrugs his shoulders, 'Yes I found one just like Mom. My Mother loved her, they quickly became friends.' 'Are you and this girl engaged, yet?' 'I'm afraid not, my Father can't stand her!'
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Accidental inventions
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 318 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1267 )
Dear Webby:4:3 ratio monitors 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  July 17, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. --- Cyril Connolly Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. --- Evan Esar
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when a rooster strayed ran out onto the road. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." "Better get busy." the farmer replied, "There are 100 hens waiting at the back of the barn."
How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: A crew. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done-they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process. LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out. VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth. LIBRA: ER, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you? SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order. SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes. AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so.... PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb?
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. "You were perfectly right. "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
http://englishrussia.com/?p=3043#more-3043 Russian style Hillbilly House Addition
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Max Kirsch, 29, in Bochum, Germany Man drove car down train tunnel A German motorist mistook an underground train tunnel for a road and drove 200 metres along the tracks before he realised. Max Kirsch, 29, faces drunk driving charges after getting his Vauxhall Corsa stuck in the train tunnel in Bochum. Police and fire trucks had to be scrambled in the middle of the night to stop trains and help remove the car from the tunnel. Kirsch, 29, had veered left into the tunnel after heading down a service road and had not realised what he had done. He told police he was simply trying to get to downtown Bochum after seeing the latest Harry Potter movie. And despite the bumpy ride he claimed he had not noticed anything was wrong until the car ground to a halt when the suspension collapsed. Police spokesman Frank Plewka said: "It seems he didn't notice something was wrong until he got out of the car. When he did realise where he was, he had to call the fire department to help get his car out.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Robert Re: Hate wide screens Dear Webby I hate the sawed off wide screen monitors! Where can you get regular 4:3 work monitors? While I would gladly switch to power saving LCD monitors whenever a monitor needs to be replaced, I refuse those sawed off play screens for myself, and I won't make my staff use them either. Why doesn't anybody listen to industry and commerce? Robert Dear Robert Amen! I feel exactly the same and simply refuse to buy anything that isn't the standard 4:3 ratio, no matter whether it is a desktop monitor or a laptop. Here are some links for standard 4:3 monitors: 4:3 monitors More 4:3 monitors Have FUN! DearWebby
Passing by the primate area one day, a zoo attendant happens to notice a chimpanzee sitting on a rock with an open book in either hand, looking first at one and then at the other. Upon closer examination, he identifies the books: the Bible, and Darwin's "Origin of Species". Curious, he asks the chimp, "What's with the books?" The chimp replies, "I'm trying to decide whether I'm my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shrinking Package Sizes In this economy, food companies are shrinking package sizes as we have all found out. Pay very close attention when shopping, even at dollar stores. Check ounces on cereal boxes to get the best price for the most product. Aluminum foil has been selling 20 square feet for a dollar but if you check, you can find 25 square feet for a dollar. My grocery store has a dollar section for a lot of products and I go there first to see what I can find. Be vigilant and save money. By Kim from Franklin Park, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Husband: "Why were you driving so fast?" Wife: "Because the brakes don't work on my car, and I wanted to get home before I had an accident."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Husband's note on refrigerator to his wife: Someone from the Guyna College called. They said Pabst beer is normal.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Pet Digs
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 250 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1277 )
Dear Webby: Mailwasher to dump spam with forged sender address 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  July 16, 2009

It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --- Al Gore Yeah, you tell 'em, Al. Volcanoes should be outlawed or at least taxed!
I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, "I do."
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied, "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Nile Lily
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kayti Dryer, 23, Lewes, East Sussex, England What's a Golf handicap? You would expect someone who takes a set of golf clubs on holiday to have a reasonable understanding of the game. But when suspicious Customs officials asked Kayti Dryer what her handicap was, she apparently thought they were questioning her about a disability. When she was unable to answer, they seized the clubs and found £83,000 worth of cocaine hidden inside the shafts. Yesterday the 23-year-old was starting a four-year prison sentence after admitting smuggling the drugs.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Friz Re: Mailwasher Dear Webby I have a unique problem, I think. I get a lot of spam that has my address forged in as the sender. I guess my address is on a few spammer's lists. Now, because I do have the bad habit of sending email to myself as a way of saving important notes, I can't just go and blacklist myself. A friend told me that MailWasher can handle that and to ask you how to do that. Thanks for any help Friz Dear Friz First download MailWasher Pro from http://webby.com/mailwasher and install it. It will help if you write down your mail info, like user name and password and POP Server Name, because you will need them during the installation. MailWsher checks your mail right on the server, and if it is spam, it won't bother downloading it. It nukes it right on the server. That is why it needs the same access as your mail program. Then let it run. A lot of spam will be recognized and dumped before you even start making filters. Next make a filter that checks the FROM field to ee if it CONTAINS (your address), and then checks again the FROM field to see if it DOES NOT CONTAIN (the name you use in the FROM) then tell that, if those conditions apply, to hide the mail, and delete it automatically. Since the spammers just forge your address, but use a legitimately looking name, like Microsoft.com, that filter traps and murders those spams. Unseen, in the dark. Have FUN! DearWebby
More Daffinitions: Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. . . Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. Burglesque: A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate) Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer. Glibido: All talk and no action. Obamize: Say one thing, do the opposite.


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Marvin's trailer house, Marvin asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Marvin. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." "What are you studying?" asked Marvin. The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Old Persia
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 203 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1281 )
Dear Webby: MSN mail malfunction 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  July 15, 2009

There's no reward in life without risk. --- Barry J. Farber Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. --- Putt's Law Confusion is always the most honest response. --- Marty Indik
The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods." The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?" "Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it." Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?" Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"
There were three men at a bar. One man got drunk and started a fight with the other two men. The police came and took the drunk guy to jail.The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked the man, "Where do you work?" The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." The judge then said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?" The judge said to the man, "Sooner or later..."
I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead. "Ah," he sighed, "that must be her checking out now."
Thanks for all your help & ideas. Picture is of a deer that wandered into our yard today down by Foley Creek. Nita
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Barry Kenny, 28, Hartlepool, England Man freed thanks to penis lizard tattoo July 10, 2009 11:11 AM A man who appeared in court accused of flashing his penis at a female train guard has walked free, thanks to a tattoo on his manhood. Hartlepool magistrates court had been told how 28-year-old Barry Kenny had drunkenly displayed his willy during a train journey from Newcastle to Hartlepool. But the woman had not mentioned any "distinguising marks" on the penis and Barry has a two inch long lizard tattoo running along his penis. As a result his solicitor was able to get the charges dropped, but only after Barry offered to show his willy to magistrates. Before being reminded he was under oath Barry had wanted to claim the tattoo was seven inches long.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: MSN Mail Malfunction Dear Webby called msn. and they suggest that you should email postmaster.live.com and fill out item that you are not spam......... love your site and disgusted with them choosing who to block....... thank you Sharon Dear Sharon They lied to you. Webby IS registered with Microsoft and has a Listed Sender ID, as has been shown in the header for about a dozen years. Just in case they trashed their Listed Sender ID database again, I submitted the domain again. However, I am not going to waste time arguing with their auto-responders. Just get a respectable address. If they are not competent enough to deliver the Humor Letter, they will mess up with other important mail too. Have FUN! DearWebby
Marvin has gotten to the age where he needs his false teeth and hearing aid before he can ask where he left his glasses.


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Tallahassee." The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again." ------------ Reminds me of my student days. It was common knowledge there that nobody EVER got arrested while on Gymnasium Street.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Abdicate - v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk. Willy-nilly - adj., impotent. Flabbergasted - adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained. Negligent - adj., describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightie. Lymph - v. To walk with a lisp. Gargoyle-n., an olive-flavored mouthwash. Bustard - n., a very rude Metrobus driver. Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline. Semantics - n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers. Rectitude - n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. Marionettes - n., residents of Washington D.C. who have been jerked around by the mayor. Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. Circumvent - n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Strollin Cats
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 287 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 365 )
Dear Webby: How to close email accounts 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  July 14, 2009

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. --- Robert Orben
A driver who was bringing a meticulously prepared and pre-dented bus to a location in New York City for an on-location movie shoot, was too early and drove to a nearby restaurant to wait there. Just to be funny, he carefully lined up the artificial dent at the front with a light pole. When he came back out of the restaurant, there were eight passengers in the bus, moaning and groaning about whiplash and talking to their lawyers on their cellphones.
A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains of Alberta spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 1200-foot embankment, landed on it's roof, and burst into flames. There were no injuries.
Thanks to Dora for this story: One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40+, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us. "Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I thought. Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade."
German Pick Up
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alexa Longueira, 15, New York Walking without due care and attention Teen Girl Falls In Open Manhole While Texting A teenage girl, Alexa Longueira, fell into an open manhole while sending a text message as she walked down the street in New York. City officials are now investigating why the pavement manhole was left uncovered with no warning signs, with the girl's family planning legal action. "It was four or five feet, it was very painful. I kind of crawled out and the DEP guys came running and helped me. They were just, like, 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!'" The girl's mother Kim Longueira said that the workers had a responsibility to keep the "putrid" hole covered, even though her daughter had not been paying attention. "She's all scraped up on her back, under her arms and her shoulders," she told The New York Daily Times. "We regret that this happened and wish the young woman a speedy recovery," said Mercedes Padill, a DEP spokeswoman. Street sewers carry rain and street run-off towards the deeper main sewers.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bren Re: Closing email accounts Dear Sir, How do I go about closing an e-mail account with yahoo.com and usa.com so I can switch to my g-mail acct? Sincerely, Bren Dear Bren 1) set up your Gmail account. 2) tell everybody in your address book to change your address to the Gmail address. 3) change all your subscriptions over to the Gmail address 4) forward your yahoo and usa,com mails to your Gmail address to catch stragglers, who procrastinate with updating their address books. Eventually the old accounts will fizzle out Have FUN! DearWebby
The teenaged girl discovered she was pregnant. She moaned to a friend, "I knew we should have just gone to the movies." The friend asked, "Well... why didn't you?" "We couldn't." she replied. "The only good ones playing were all R-rated, and wouldn't allow us in."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Check Clearance Racks Year Round I always search the clearance racks all year round. It's great when you can buy sweaters (for fall) in May and June. Never pay full price for kids school clothes. Always search online sites as well. Try different stores online and go directly to their clearance page. By Lisa from WNY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my wife. I'll never forget that game of cards...."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Leroy goes to the doctor for a vasectomy. Unlike the usual patients, he shows up in a limo, and he's sitting in the doctor's office in a rented tuxedo with black tie. The doctor says "I've done a lot of these, but I've never seen a limo and tuxedo before. What's the story?" To which Leroy responds "If I'm gonna BE m-potent, I'm gonna LOOK im-potent!"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Seriously Twisted Trees
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 281 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1397 )
Dear Webby: Import OE addresses and data into Gmail 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  July 13, 2009

"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people." --- Lucille S. Harper The measure of a persons perceived intelligence is proportional to the amount of time she or he keeps his mouth shut. --- Socratex
When does a doctor suggest emergency surgery? When he's ready for a new sports car.
When Vickie's co-worker received a phone call from her daughter, she heard her exclaim joyfully, "Seven and a half pounds! I'm so proud!" After she had hung up, she asked, "Boy or girl?" "Neither," her colleague replied... "Diet."
A spiritualist who'd recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she'd just received a message from her dead husband - asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. "The only thing is," she mused, "that I don't know where to send them." "Why not?" asked her friend. "Well, he didn't actually say that he was in Heaven - but I can't imagine he'd be in Hell." "Hm," responded the friend. "Well, maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but. . . did he mention anything about including matches in the package?"
Thanks to Nita for this picture of a Baby Barn Swallow:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to PETA in Seattle, Washington Dumber than fish July 11 Seattle, WA PETA members dressed as fish tried to draw a crowd when they lay on the ground outside the American Veterinary Medical Association conference in Seattle. The fish-tossing and veterinarian-vilifying PETA saga culminated Saturday outside Seattle's Washington State Convention & Trade Center with a rather dull protest, that was mostly ignored except by a few bored reporters. PETA has been arguing for weeks that veterinarians charged with animal care should not allow fish tossing at their conference. Fish are sensitive and intelligent [compared to PETA members], and their bodies should not be thrown around, said PETA campaign coordinator Ashley Byrne. The traditional fish tossing by Pike Place Fish Market fishmongers is one of Seattles prime tourist attraction. It doesn't involve live fish, just fish that have been netted and cleaned days before and that have been stored in ice during transport to a fish market and while on display there. When you buy a fish, you point to it and an attendant then tosses it over to another one at the cutting tables, who prepares it according to the customer's request.. The fish, which may have been dead for a week by then, have never shown any emotion about that, but because there isn't much else going on in Seattle, tourists like watching the action at the fishmongers, and giggle when one of the attendants almost drops a fish. Because that is Seattle's prime traditional tourist attraction, a brief performance had been scheduled for the conference attendees. The AVMA declined to change its plans, and fishmongers from the Pike Place Market threw three dead fish during a Saturday morning performance.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Transferring addresses from Outlook to Gmail Dear Webby Thanks as always for all your advise. I am (finally) considering giving up Outlook Express and switching to gmail...good idea? How do I transfer all my outlook data to Gmail? Addresses, saved emails etc., Also I just dowloaded Firefox 3.5 and wow is it ever fast...Love it. Thanks for your recommendations. Take care. Ann Dear Ann Gmail will import your OE data when you set it up. There is an option in there for importing stuff. Import to Gmail Have FUN! DearWebby
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A teenager was sitting in church, and when the collection plate was passed around, he quickly pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in. Just then, the person behind him tapped him on his shoulder and handed him a $20 bill. The boy smiled, placed the $20 in the plate and passed it on, admiring that the man was being generous. Then the boy felt another tap from behind and heard a whisper: "Son," the man said, "that was your $20 bill that had fallen out of your pocket."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Sisters Outdoor Quilt Show
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 344 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1432 )
Dear Webby, is FireFox 3.5 safe? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  July 12, 2009

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, or a Hell of Heaven. --- Socratex
Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale. "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date." "So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor. "Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."
Teacher: "What is used as a conductor of electricity?" Johnny: "Why...er?" Teacher: "Wire is right. Very good. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?" Johnny: "The what? " Teacher: "That's absolutely correct, the Watt. Now class, I want you all to study just as diligently as Johnny did!"
Thanks to Frank for forwarding this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to26-year-old Timothy Overly and 25-year-old Candace Prewitt in San Antonio, Maryland The car was a-rockin', and the law went a-knockin'. SAN ANTONIO (AP) — 5:53 AM EDT, July 11, 2009 Bexar (BAYR) County sheriff's deputies drawn by the actions of an amorous couple in a parked car allegedly found more than l'amour. Deputy Ino Badillo (bah-DEE'-yoh) tells the San Antonio Express-News they also found enough equipment and chemicals in the car Thursday night to start a methamphetamine lab. Badillo says deputies checked out the car after neighbors reported it parked in an unusual spot, just northeast of San Antonio. He says 26-year-old Timothy Overly and 25-year-old Candace Prewitt have been charged with public lewdness and manufacture of a controlled substance. Badillo says both were booked into the Bexar County Jail with bonds set at nearly $31,000 each.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Olga Re: FireFox 3.5 Dear Webby I got stuck with IE8. My hubby installed the patches earlier this week and did it on automatic instead of custom, and it promptly snuck in. To make a long story short, I don't like IE8 and can't get rid of it. Some friends suggested that I get the new FireFox 3.5, and that I would never look back onto IE except for getting Microsoft's monthly bug fixes. Is the FireFox 3.5 upgrade as bad as IE8? I do have an old version that I could use. Thanks Olga Dear Olga FireFox 3.5 is rock solid. They did their homework and it is running fast and reliable. Do the install or upgrade yourself, though. It asks a few questions, for example if you want the popular extensions installed. The default is NO. I guess they rather err in being too polite than not polite enough. Change that to YES, and your RoboForm and any other toolbars you got, should work just fine in the new browser. Don't be shy about getting some of the free add-ons like AnyColor, Tab Sidebar, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?" Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?" Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?" The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A teenager was sitting in church, and when the collection plate was passed around, he quickly pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in. Just then, the person behind him tapped him on his shoulder and handed him a $20 bill. The boy smiled, placed the $20 in the plate and passed it on, admiring that the man was being generous. Then the boy felt another tap from behind and heard a whisper: "Son," the man said, "that was your $20 bill that had fallen out of your pocket."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Funniest construction errors
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com



<font face="Arial">

[ view entry ] ( 321 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 1364 )
Dear Webby: Google Chrome OS 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  July 11, 2009


Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. --- Wendell Johnson A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --- Wilson Mizner
King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon was astonished that the hungry lions had not eaten Daniel. He summoned Daniel and promised him that if he would reveal his secret, the king would give him his freedom. "It was easy, your excellency," Daniel said. "I went around and whispered in each lion's ear - 'After dinner, there will be speeches.'"
When a young minister was still single, he preached a sermon he entitled, "Rules for Raising Children." After he got married and had children of his own, he changed the title of the sermon to "Suggestions for Raising Children." When his children got to be teenagers, he stopped preaching on that subject altogether.
Victoria-Falls-Zambia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dustin Sabo, 20, ind Dade City, Florida Car burglar takes booze but leaves cell phone behind DADE CITY — A burglar broke into a car July 2 and stole bottles of rum and vodka, but left something more valuable behind: his cell phone, with his picture on the screen, according to the Dade City Police Department. Dustin Sabo, 20, apparently left his blue phone in the car during the burglary in the parking lot of Premier Health Care, the police report said. When the car owner found the phone and turned it on, the screen showed a photo of Sabo. Sabo, of 37937 Hillside Lane, was arrested Wednesday and is charged with auto burglary and theft, as well as possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia and violating his felony probation. He is being held without bail at the county jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rick Re: Google Chrome OS Dear Webby What is your take on the Google Chrome OS? Will that be a usable alternative to the slow stuff from Microsoft? Will it be available soon? Rick Dear Rick It's just another flavor of Linux, but with Google style quality and reliability. Almost all flavors of Linux were tinkered together by a bunch of amateurs programming around a bit in their spare time. With the organization and professional methods that Google can devote to it, we can expect a very good system. It won't be an all-purpose OS like Windows, doing a bit of everything, slowly. Instead it will be a single purpose machine, and very, very good at that. Except for DELL, which is firmly under Microsoft's thumb and trying to get enough brownie points for an early customized Dell version of Windows 7, all major laptop and netbook makers are cooperating with Google. Most likely the first Chrome OS netbooks will be available for Christmas. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you have a lot of tension and you get headaches, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirins and keep away from children."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Generic and Save Money Some time ago, we needed some cable to connect a computer to the router and it seemed quite expensive in the store. I checked online and finally bought some for about half what the stores wanted for name brand cable. I have found the same thing with other things lately. I found a Varilux floor lamp in Goodwill on 50% off day, which didn't have a bulb. I knew there was a possibility that it didn't work but, my daughter pointed out, we have an electrician in the family (her fiancee). Now the Varilux lamp generally costs over $100 and the bulbs are at least $20 but since I paid $4 for the lamp, it would be worth buying the bulb. As luck would have it, I checked in Walmart and found a 'brand x' bulb for around $6, making the whole thing cost just slightly over $10 and it works! So, when things seem outrageously priced, look for generic brands, you may be surprised. Pat in Phoenix Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

During a sermon a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. "About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, the Pastor is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' "It worked."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

"I play golf in the low 80's," the little old man was telling one of the young boys at the club. "Wow," said the young man, "that's pretty impressive." "Not really," said the little old man. "Any hotter and I'd probably have a stroke."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Dog Wigs
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 289 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 43 )
Dear Webby, how do I make Gmail the default email program? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  July 10, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. --- Sir Winston Churchill We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld and to blame it on a computer is even more so. --- Robert Orben
Thanks to Cookie for this: I called my stockbroker today and asked him, "What are you buying" ? His answer: “Canned goods and ammunition.”
Joe and his wife get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting up with her pestering, he finally decided he'd had enough and advised her that he would no longer drive with her in the car. Later that day, on his way home from doing some shopping at the mall, he heard his cell phone ring as he was merging onto a freeway. It was his wife calling. By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind him. "Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights; it's starting to rain."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lisa Beth Solanik, 43, of Sandy Springs, Georgia Fleeing woman captured while trying to light crack pipe An Alpharetta woman who led Sandy Springs police on a high-speed chase Wednesday night was allegedly trying to light a crack pipe even as officers broke out a window of the vehicle to arrest her. The chase began in the 7800 block of Roswell Road after a tag check on a 2005 Hyundai Santa Fe revealed that the registered driver’s license had been suspended for driving under the influence, Sandy Springs police Lt. Steve Rose said. When the officer attempted to stop the Santa Fe, Lisa Beth Solanik, 43, made a U-turn and sped northbound on Roswell Road. Rose said officers deployed “stop sticks” at Dunwoody Place and Roswell Road, deflating two of the suspect’s tires. “The car then drove onto Verdun Drive off Roberts Drive, where it struck one of the police vehicles,” Rose said. “The suspect’s car was then cornered and pinned to a stop by two Sandy Springs police vehicles.” Rose said that as officers were breaking the side window of the Santa Fe to take Solanik into custody, she was “in the process of trying to light what appeared to be a crack pipe. Solanik was charged with obstruction of a police officer, fleeing and/or attempting to elude a police officer, disorderly conduct, driving under the influence of drugs and eight traffic charges. She is in the Fulton County Jail, awaiting an initial court appearance on Friday. Rose said one Sandy Springs police officer was treated and released for a minor injury sustained during the chase.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shelley Re: make Gmail the default mail program Hey Webby! I love your letter and look forward to it every day! Thank you for the laughter! I had a quick question for my favorite guru. How do you configure your computer to allow you to use gmail when you click a mail:to link in a webpage, instead of always trying to send it with outlook? I am running vista (Ugh, I know!!) on a laptop for school. Thank you for everything! Shelley Dear Shelley Download and install the free Gmail Notifier http://toolbar.google.com/gmail-helper/notifier_windows.html In the drop-down menu in it, select Gmail. Hit OK, and that's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
From a church bulletin: "A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by Bert, one of our loyal members, in honor of his wife."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grow Your Own Avocado Houseplant Here's a fun summer activity for the kids to enjoy and a rewarding way to recycle the left-over avocado seeds. 1. Wash the seed and suspend it (broad end down) over a water-filled glass using 3 toothpicks. The water should cover about an inch of the seed. 2. Place the glass in a warm location, out of direct sunlight. A mature seed will crack as roots and stem sprout in about 2 to 6 weeks. 3. When a stem grows to six or seven inches, cut it back to about three inches. 4. When the roots are thick and the stem has leafed out again, plant it in a rich humus soil, leaving the seed half exposed. Use a terra cotta pot with a 10-1/2 diameter. 5. Water the avocado plant generously, but let it dry out somewhat between watering. By Connie from Oden, Arkansas Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man is having a really bad day on the golf course. By the 14th hole, he's missed one putt too many, and he lets loose with a string of profanities, grabs his putter, and storms off toward the lake by the 15th tee. "Uh-oh," says his playing partner to the caddie, "There goes that club." "You think so?" asks the caddie. "I've got five bucks saying he'll miss the water."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all." The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Amercian Film Institute Top 10
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 403 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1515 )
Dear Webby: IE8 Blocker 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  July 9, 2009

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau
"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to the Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times!"
A man is celebrating his 100th birthday, so the editor of the local newspaper sends a reporter over to do a feature story on the old timer. The reporter begins by asking the old tried and true question, "To what do you attribute your longevity?" "Well, young lady," the gentleman says, "I never smoked more than a pack of cigarettes a day, never got drunk and didn't over-eat. I didn't get up too early every morning, but I sure stay up and active past midnight ." "But, I had an uncle who did exactly the same," the reporter says, "and he only lived to be 80. How do you account for that?" "He didn't keep it up long enough," says the centenarian.
Thanks to Doug for sending this picture taken by his friend: Stalking Dinner
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chelsea Steele, 17 of Marietta, Georgia Cheerleader robbed wheelchair bound charity volunteer JULY 8--A teenage cheerleader stole $187 from a wheelchair-bound boy, who had earned the money for a charity by selling t-shirts as a volunteer for them, police charge. Chelsea Steele, 17, was arrested last Friday, a few hours after she robbed Joseph Green at a Marietta, Georgia community pool house where Green was "selling t-shirts and hats...for charity," according to a criminal warrant. Steele, who attends Sprayberry High School, is listed as a member of the school's varsity cheerleading squad. Steele, pictured below in a Cobb County Sheriff's Office mug shot, is facing a felony robbery count (she was also hit with an underage alcohol possession rap). Police are investigating whether Steele had accomplices, since she was spotted fleeing the pool house in the company of a friend, with whom she departed the area in a Ford Taurus.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ruth Re: Netbook keyboard Dear Webby, I look forward to your humor letter everyday, thank you for the laughs, tips and information you give so freely, I appreciate it. I have a tech question. How can I stop Microsoft trying to get me to download Version 8? Version 8 came with my husband's computer and I don't like it. Everyday I turn my desk top or my lap top on a bubble comes up and says "updates are ready for your computer, click here to install these updates." The security updates automatically install. I did install version 8 on my desk top and then went in and uninstalled it, thinking that would get rid of the little yellow icon and the bubble, it did until I uninstalled it. I've got the version 7 blocker but have not found a way to block version 8. Or do you think version 8 is ok? Thanks Barbara Dear Barbara It seems that Microsoft has been yelled at about that often enough, that they created an IE8 blocker. It is at IE8 Blocker What I found funny is that you have to agree to their EULA (End User Legal Agreement) before they let you use that patch. When it asks you where to expand it to, choose C:\WINDOWS Then click on Start, RUN and type cmd and hit Enter In the scary black screen that you get, type cd c:\windows hit Enter IE80Blocker.cmd /B hit Enter That should do the trick. After it finishes, you can type EXIT hit Enter to close the scary black screen. FireFox users will laugh even more. Microsoft is in a snit about you using FireFox and won't let you download the IE8 blocker, unless you start up whatever version of IE you got. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. "Think it's safe to cross?" the man asked. "I reckon so," replied the farmer. The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface. As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, "I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!" "Well, shoot!" said the farmer, scratching his head. "It only come up chest-high on my little ducks!"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save on Electric Bills In Florida, electric bills run high, particularly in the summer. I save on my electric bill in two ways: First, I hang my clothes to dry, only using my dryer to de-wrinkle the clothes. In this way, the dryer is on for only 20 minutes vs. over an hour. Second, I unplug everything that is not being used: the microwave, the toasters, the hair dryer, the cell phone chargers, the computers, the washer and dryer. Although it is minimal, these items still use electricity even when dormant. We probably save around $20 or more a month just by unplugging everything. By combining these two methods, along with having cooler weather and being able to turn off our A/C, last month we had our lowest electric bill since moving into our house (which has vaulted ceilings) from an apartment. Contact your local electric company for more ideas on how to use less and save more--they are glad to help. By Lynne from Orlando, FL Unplugging is probably too much of a hassle for most people, however, using a power bar with an on/off switch makes it convenient enough that it can become a good habit. For MAJOR savings stick the fridge and freezer "through the wall". They pump heat from the inside to the outside and get rid of it at the grid in the back or below it. That heats up your house and you need the AC to cool it down. You don't have to actually make the whole fridge or freezer stick out. Depending on your set-up, you can either make an air inlet and outlet, so that the fridge uses only outside air, or get a fridge mechanic to drill two small holes in the wall and mount the radiator outside. In Florida, if turning off unused items saves you $20 a month, you will probably save around $50 a month by letting the fridge heat the outdoors instead of your kitchen. This is not just theory. I have been using that trick for over thirty years, and it was one of the first alterations I made, when I bought my current house. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

In the faculty lounge of an excellent elementary school, some teachers were talking about reincarnation. One teacher remarked "If there's anything to the idea of reincarnation, I know what I'd like to come back as." "Oh, tell us what," said a couple of colleagues. "I'd like to come back," said the teacher, "as a childhood disease."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Defendant: Your Honor, I want you to appoint me another lawyer. Judge: And why is that? Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case. Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion? Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Northern Lights
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 351 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 28 )
Dear Webby: Netbook keyboards 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  July 8, 2009

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --- Henny Youngman Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret. --- Laurence J. Peter
The Father, passing thru the son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whaddya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Dump him on the front porch and we'll drag him in in the morning."
A man and his wife are walking down the street when he suddenly said, "That lovely girl just looked at me and smiled." "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest," his wife replied. "The first time I saw you I laughed out loud."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gregory McCalium, 23 in Botley, England Don't mess with Grampas! BOTLEY, England -- A word of warning for a 23-year-old burglar who tried to rob a 72-year-old man at knife point- next time, pick on somebody your own age! Frank Corti is a grandfather, and unfortunately for the burglar, a former army boxer. Gregory McCalium was reportedly still drunk from an all-night party when he went into the Cortis house at 8am on August 19 last year. Prosecutors say he threatened Mr Corti with a knife but the former featherweight boxer dodged it, punching McCalium twice in the face before pinning him to a wall. The burglar was left with a black eye, split lip and severe swelling. McCalium was jailed for four and a half years on Monday after a jury at Oxford Crown Court found him guilty of aggravated burglary following a trial in March.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ruth Re: Netbook keyboard Dear Webby My hubby got me one of those Netbooks, but I find that tiny keyboard even worse than it's small screen. I can't get any reasonable amount of work done on it. Can I plug a regular keyboard into it? What do you recommend? Ruth Dear Ruth Those netbooks are intended for yuppies who don't have the strength and endurance to carry a laptop, but feel the need to carry a status symbol. They are not really intended for getting serious work done. Give it to your hubby and buy yourself a full size laptop, if you need to be mobile, or else a desktop. In the meantime, you CAN plug a regular keyboard into a USB port on the netbook. Have FUN! DearWebby
A lunatic is sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another patient, who has been watching, suddenly cries, "Wait a minute! I just caught you cheating yourself." The first man puts his finger to his lips. "Shhh," he whispers. "Don't tell anybody, but I've been cheating myself at solitaire for years." "You don't say," says his surprised pal. "Don't you ever catch yourself cheating?" The first man shakes his head. "Naw," he says proudly. "I'm much too clever."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Candles at Thrift Stores Thrift stores can be a good source for candles! I am burning up my stock over the holidays and snagged some decorative ones in my thrift shop wanderings, good ones, too. The tapers may be slightly damaged, used or, in my case, a bit melted out of shape at the top - but those are problems easily fixed with trimming. By Pamela Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

When a husband finally gave in and began to clean out his bureau, he discovered a bunch of socks that didn't match. As his wife looked at them, she noted that most of them had holes in them. "Land's sakes, man !" she exclaimed. "How long have you had these things?" "Since before we were married," he admitted. "I guess you could say that I had a lot of premarital socks!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

"Heck Is Where People Go Who Don't Believe in Gosh"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Free Budget Tracker
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 152 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 396 )
Dear Webby: Roboform and Firefox 3.5 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  July 7, 2009

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. --- Peter De Vries Things are more like they are now than they have ever been. --- Gerald R. Ford
Thanks to Dianne for sending this story: I was enjoying the second week of a two-week vacation the same way I had enjoyed the first week: by doing as little as possible. I ignored my wife's not-so-subtle hints about completing certain jobs around the house, but I didn't realize how much this bothered her until the clothes dryer refused to work, the iron shorted and the sewing machine motor burned out in the middle of a seam. The final straw came when she plugged in the vacuum cleaner and nothing happened. She looked so stricken that I had to offer some consolation. "That's okay, honey," I said. "You still have me." She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "Yes," she wailed, "but you don't work either!"
My relatives were gathered for the reading of my Last Will And Testament after my long awaited death. The lawyer opened the envelope, and read solemnly: "Being of sound mind and body, I spent every last cent before I died."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Harvey Warren, 50, of Largo, Florida No Baloney LARGO — When police arrested Richard Harvey Warren on Thursday night on an accusation of stealing bologna from a local convenience store, it wasn't the Largo man's first brush with the law. Or even his second, third or fourth. Nope, according to records, Warren, 50, of 1201 Seminole Blvd., has been arrested an astounding 120 times in Florida since 1987. Through the years, he has been charged with everything from shoplifting and disorderly intoxication to indecent exposure. The majority of charges brought against Warren have been misdemeanors, but there have been a handful of felony charges, including ones for grand larceny and battery on an officer. Warren's latest arrest netted him charges of retail theft, a felony, and misdemeanor trespassing. He remained in the Pinellas County Jail on Friday in lieu of $2,625 bail. According to Largo police, Warren entered the Sunshine Food Mart at 1595 Seminole Blvd. on Thursday night and concealed a $2.99 pack of bologna in his pants. When a merchant attempted to stop Warren from leaving, he grabbed the person's shirt and hands and attempted to walk away. Before Thursday, Warren had not been arrested in 15 months. Yesterday's Bonehead detail link again: Chicago Details
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: Roboform and Firefox 3.5 Dear Webby PANIC! I upgraded Firefox to 3.5. I like it, except the RoboForm tool bar is gone! I got the user names and passwords of over 500 employees in it, because they tell their browser to remember tem for them, and then every full moon clean out their cookies and passwords. By then, of course they forgot not just their password, but many of them even their user name. If the FireFox upgrade nuked all of that, I am heading for the border! What do I do to get them back? Alice DearAlice No panic. You probably elbowed the upgrade in without really paying attention. There is a question about the Roboform extension, that most people miss. Just go to http://www.roboform.com/dist/roboform-firefox-3.0-frozen.xpi for the extension. It just takes a few seconds, then restart FireFox, and your RoboForm bar is back where God intended it to be, Have FUN! DearWebby
The company psychiatrist was interviewing Nancy. As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company. Things were not not going well for Nancy. The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give Nancy one last chance. He asked, "if you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?" Nancy quickly responded, "the living one."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A woman who lives in Mississippi, was talking with her four year old son. He asked her why all their relatives in Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right? They talk funny!" he stated. "Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

"I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?" Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Liquid Crystal
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 1705 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 397 )
Dear Webby: PDF versus HTML 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  Juy 6, 2009

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. --- Foster's Law I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes, you ought to go away and write a book about it. --- Lord Brabazon
Thanks to Dianne for this story: A village pastor, known for his weakness for trout, preached against fishing on Sunday. The next day one of his members presented him with a fine string of fish and said, hesitatingly, "I guess I ought to tell you, parson, that those trout were caught on Sunday." The minister hesitated, gazed appreciatively at the speckled trout, and then said piously as he reached for his gift, "The fish aren’t to blame for that."
Johnny's Mother looked out the window and noticed him "playing church" with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water. She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!" Johnny looked up at her and said, "He should have thought about that before he joined my church."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chicago Four dead, 22 wounded in six hours CHICAGO (STNG) -- Four people were killed and at least 22 others, including an 8-year-old boy, were wounded in shootings and stabbings during a bloody six hours late Saturday into early Sunday. Details If Afghanistan deteriorated to that level, they would probably start using artillery and carpet bombing!
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Robert Re: HTML or PDF invoices Dear Webby Our instructor told us to always convert invoices to PDF, so that they can't be changed. I notice that yours are still HTML. Are you going to switch to PDF, or do you disagree with her? Robert Dear Robert PDF invoices are probably a good thing for people who are not web literate, write invoices with a word processor and attach editable docs to email. We write invoices with an invoicing program that produces HTML web pages. I upload them and the client can only view and print them, or click on the PayPal button that has the correct amount encoded into it. Nobody can mess with it. For those, who are web literate, HTML is a lot better. Some companies send out contracts as PDF documents and expect you to print out their 27 page contract, sign it, and fax it back to them. I take their PDF apart, paste a small picture of my signature on it, convert it back to PDF, and email that back to them, without wasting a single page of MY paper. If they require the contract back via fax, then I use Winfax to fax them their thilly PDF. I can mess with PDF just as easy as with a DOC. Nobody can mess with an HTML invoice that is up on the web. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reduced Produce Bargains I regularly peruse the reduced produce shelf in my local grocery store. The other day I got a mixed bag of red, green, orange, yellow peppers for $1 and took three to an elderly neighbor and used three myself. Yesterday, I got a bag of five avocados for $1, pureed and froze 3 and gave two to my next door neighbor! It's great fun to see what's available and to find creative uses for these products. I can still hear my Bohemian grandmother's voice praising the day old bread, the slightly bruised apple: "It's still good!" By Amy from Chardon, OH Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, six widows and two single men stepped to the front.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn't talk about his Mother's cooking, and Eve couldn't mention all the men she could/should have married.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Statue of Liberty Crown
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 114 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 386 )
Dear Webby: Email faux-pas 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  Juy 5, 2009

Votes are back to normal again. Thanks!
The most successful people are those who are good at Plan B.
--- James Yorke


One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white? Were you THAT bad ?"
Woman's Wine Quote: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which we'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter Wine Quote: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you nothing but a headache."
Thanks to Diane for this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a teacher Elk Grove, California NorCal students get X-rated version of class DVD ELK GROVE, Calif. — A Northern California elementary school teacher sent her students home for the summer with a video of class memories, only the DVD included six seconds of her having sex on a couch. Officials at the Elk Grove Unified School District asked families of the teacher's 24 students to get rid of the DVD after the unintended clip was found spliced in a scene where children were sharing stories in class. "Just destroy them," said spokeswoman Torrey Johnson. Johnson said the teacher, whose name isn't being released, sent the DVD home with her students from Isabelle Jackson Elementary on the last day of class Friday. She learned of the mistake after a parent called her. She then called all the parents to ask them to destroy the DVD. The school district, located just south of Sacramento, initially sent a letter home to parents asking them to return the DVDs, but then asked parents to simply destroy them.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Amanda Re: Email faux-pas Dear Webby I found out that my well meaning, but not too bright hubby had put an, now how do I word it without getting blocked by you too, otomatick risbonse, that should work, you know what I mean, onto our business address. Nobody expects an instant reply if they write late in the evening, but every one of them, it seems, get annoyed by dumb and useless messages about getting a real reply during business hours. I know I do, and even have a filter that automatically blacklists anybody who sends one of those. I guess what goes around, comes around, and most of our clients did the same. Is there a way to get around their blacklists to tell them that George is in the doghouse and won't ever annoy them with stuff like that again? Thanks Amanda Dear Amanda The only way around is getting a new and different email address. Since you own your own domain, that is as easy as asking your web host for a new address. You can even funnel it to the old address, so that you don't have to change your user name and password. Just remember to change the FROM and REPLY-TO addresses in your email program. Most people just blacklist the exact address, not ANY address from that domain, and you should be able to get through to them. As long as you are as careful with the dangerous trigger words as you were when youwrote to me, they will forgive and forget. Have FUN! DearWebby
Bert's wife decided to use curlers in her hair after she washed it. She came into the Family Room as Bert was watching TV. He said he only stared at her for a moment when she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? At what time is it set to go off?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090701@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fireworks Safety Tips Fireworks and celebrations go together, especially during the Fourth of July. But fireworks can be dangerous, causing serious burn and eye injuries. If fireworks are legal where you live and you decide to set them off on your own, be sure to follow these important safety tips: * Never allow children to play with or ignite fireworks * Read and follow all warnings and instructions * Be sure other people are out of range before lighting fireworks. * Only light fireworks on a smooth, flat surface away from the house, dry leaves, and flammable materials. * Never try to relight fireworks that have not fully functioned. * Keep a bucket of water in case of a malfunction or fire. Store fireworks in your gun vault, not in your BBQ! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A Texan was visiting a Maine farmer ("fahmah"). The Texas rancher was boasting to his host about the size of his spread: "I can get into my pickup truck and drive all day and still not reach the boundary of my ranch", he bragged. The Mainer shook his head knowingly, and replyed, "Aayuhh, I had a truck like that once"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he said, "I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day." "Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: People of Influence
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 137 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1211 )
Dear Webby: AOL and Hotmail problems 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  Juy 4, 2009
Happy Independence Day!

Thanks to all of you who wrote! Now is the time for all good men to come to. --- Walt Kelly, A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. --- Bert Leston Taylor Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sydney J. Harris
Ricky, Jimmy, and Stewy were on the bus home from elementary school, when a fire engine zoomed past their bus with blaring sirens. The three kids noticed a Dalmatian dog on the front seat of the fire engine. Ricky said, "They use that dog to keep crowds back." "No," said Jimmy, "he's just for good luck." But Stewy knew better, "No, the dog's job is to find the nearest fire hydrant."
A young man wanted to get his beautiful wife Tricia something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day Tricia goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do you like your new phone?" She replies "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Wal- Mart?"
Thanks to Walter for this picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an underage burglar in Suffolk, Virginia Mug shot practise SUFFOLK, Va. — Suffolk police say they now have a suspect to go with an image of a person who snapped a photo of himself with a cell phone belonging to the owner of the home he burgled. Police say a 17-year-old Suffolk resident faces charges of burglary and larceny. They're not identifying him because he's underage and identifying him might interfere with his criminal career. The burglary happened in early June. Detectives think the person unsuccessfully tried to make a phone call using the phone, then used the camera function to photograph himself. People who saw the photo in news stories helped detectives identify the suspect. He will probably get a few months in the Virginia rapper school and tattoo parlor.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Felix Re: AOL error 50x Dear Webby http://webby.com/humor/i/pilot-seat.jpg I'll try to help re the drop in votes. AOL must be doing something to block Dear Webby, when I try to go to one of your links, such as http://webby.com/humor/i/pilot-seat.jpg (which I used to have no trouble accessing, here is what happens after 30 seconds or so: The web address you entered is not available You were trying to go to webby.com " A 50x server error was received attempting to serve your request, I have absolutely no idea what this means, but I wonder if some AOLers believe they cannot access any of your links once they see that notice and now simply ignore your emails. (Wouldn't surprise me, either.) However, the vote page is accessible from your link. But if the AOLers don't realize this they may not even try the vote link. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have also found that trying to send your pages to my gmail address seems to be blocked. That definitely is NOT Google doing it. The emails are never getting to them. I will be renewing my subscription from the gmail addy and dropping this AOL one. Felix Dear Felix It means that AOL deliberately and maliciously refuses to let you see pictures, that everybody on the real Internet can see without any problem whatsoever. I don't know, if they block pictures ALL AOLers from seeing those pictures, or just those who only use free services. You will have to ask them yourself. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ In the same vein... _____________________________________________________ Hi Webby, Just wondering WHY I haven't gotten any e-mail from you lately???? I even checked the junk mail to make sure it hadn't gone there... But you're nowhere to be found ! Are you ok??? I sure miss your e-mails. Thanks Penny Dear Penny I send your subscription out to you every night. Once it has entered the Hotmail server, there is nothing more, that I can do about it. Obviously Hotmail figures that you are too sexy to use a crappy mail service like theirs, and messes with your mail. Since Hotmail support never tells you the truth, they will probably give you some other excuse and try to blame you for their incompetence. Isn't it about time you graduated to a standard email? If you can't get one from your ISP, I'll gladly make you one. penny@dawna.com and penny@fire-cat.com are still available, and as a subscriber it won't cost you anything. Have FUN! DearWebby
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "You had told him exactly where it was."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090701@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Extra Flavor for the Grill To add extra flavor while grilling, save the loose skin on onions and garlic to toss into the fire just before grilling meats or vegetables. Throw dry fennel tops on the fire when grilling fish. By Brenda Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A monastery in the English countryside has fallen on hard times, and the monks decide to open a fish- and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, "I suppose you're the 'fish friar?'" "No," answered the brother, straight-faced. "I'm the 'chip monk.'"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Q. What is the difference between a hunter and a fisherman? A. A hunter lies in wait whereas a fisherman waits and lies.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: 4th of July
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 123 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 373 )
Dear Webby, is file sharing illegal? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  Juy 3, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Yesterday's votes were below 100 for the first time, ever. What happened? I noticed a steady drop since I added an extra joke a month ago. Apparently that was a bad move. So, off with that slot. While it is impossible to please everybody all of the time, it would be helpful if you could send me a quick email if you have a suggestion for improving! Have FUN! DearWebby
From Australia, where they have the cold season now: It was so cold last night the police stopped 3 youths pushing a mobile home down the street! When questioned by police they claimed to be trying to jump start the furnace!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to William K. Bradley, 25, of Kalamazoo, Michigan stole a computer from the Kalamazoo County jail. KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Western Michigan University student William K. Bradley has been sentenced for larceny in a building. He stole a computer. From the Kalamazoo County jail. Where he already was serving a sentence in a different case. Kalamazoo County Circuit Judge Gary Giguere Jr. sentenced Bradley on Monday, telling the Kalamazoo resident his jailhouse theft was "the dumbest crime I've heard today" and "may be in the top half-dozen in my career." Bradley, who has racked up six felonies and four misdemeanors by the age of 25, agreed with the judge, saying, "I'm not the best criminal." Bradley asked for home arrest, but Giguere instead ordered him back to jail for six months. Western spokeswoman Cheryl Roland tells the Kalamazoo Gazette, that Bradley is a sophomore at the university.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alex Re: Is file sharing illegal? Dear Webby My daughter is on some sort of file sharing deal, where the members put their CDs onto their computer, and let all other members download them. I found out when she said we needed a bigger hard drive and had a look. After deleting 220 GB, we now have plenty of room on that drive. Isn't that kind of file sharing illegal? Alex Dear Alex That depends on the location, however, the record companies can easily bankrupt you with an endless court case and lawyer bills. It also might depend on whether or not a family member of the judge is a starving artist, trying to pay back the loan she or he needed to make the CD. It is normally considered acceptable to download a sample song to help deciding whether or not to buy a CD, but downloading an entire CD is the same as shoplifting it. Making entire CDs available for shoplifting in exchange for similarly stolen goods is also covered by the criminal code. A lawyer can probably explain it all with a lot more detail, and what to expect in your location. It certainly is immoral, and you might be able to explain it to her by asking how she would feel about it, if she was a young and starting artist, and had borrowed $50,000 to create a sellable CD. In addition to that, it is a serious security risk to open your computer to strangers, and invite them in to do some shoplifting. Have FUN! DearWebby
====From Darlene Dear Webby, sorry to bother you with another repeat request. But could you please repeat that Hillbilly Medical Dictionary that you had two or three years ago ? Thanks Darlene Sure, Darlene. here it is: "REDNECK GUIDE TO MEDICAL TERMS " BENIGN--------What you be after you be eight ARTERY--------The study of paintings BACTERIA--------Back door to the cafeteria BARIUM--------What doctors do when patients die CESAREAN SECTION--A neighborhood in Rome CAT-SCAN-------- Searching for kitty CAUTERIZE--------Made eye contact with her COLIC--------A sheep dog COMA--------Punctuation mark D&C--------Where Washington is DILATE--------To live long ENEMA--------Not a friend FESTER--------Quicker than someone else FIBULA--------A small lie GENITAL--------Non-Jewish person G.I. SERIES--------World Series of military baseball HANGNAIL----------What you hang your coat on IMPOTENT--------Distinguished or well-known LABOR PAIN--------Getting hurt at work MEDICAL STAFF--------Doctors' cane MORBID--------A higher offer than I bid NITRATES--------Cheaper than day rates NODE--------I knew it OUTPATIENT--------A person who has fainted PAP SMEAR--------A fatherhood test PELVIS--------Second cousin to Elvis POST OPERATIVE--------A letter carrier RECOVERY ROOM--------Place to do upholstery RECTUM---------Damn near killed him SECRETION--------Hiding something SEIZURE----------Roman emperor TABLET--------A small table TERMINAL ILLNESS--------Getting sick at the airport TUMOR--------More than one URINE--------Opposite of you're out VARICOSE----------Near or close by

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090701@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Clothes Pins for Chip Clips This tip is so easy, maybe everyone already does it. Don't worry about buying chip and bag clips, use clothes pins! I use clothes pins to seal any bag I need to, from pasta and rice to chips and such. Much cheaper, they don't take up much room, and so handy to use! By Kim from Crawford, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Nancy went to the emergency room for medical treatment on two badly burned ears . "What happened" asked the doctor. "Well, I was ironing while I was also watching a soap on TV, when the phone rang. I answered the iron." The doctor nodded, "But what happened to the other ear?" "Well, no sooner had I hung up," said Nancy, "when the same guy called again, asking what all the screaming was about."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Eggs
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 131 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 1277 )
Deare Webby: Free PDF Writer 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  Juy 2, 2009

If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day. --- John A. Wheeler Good taste is the worst vice ever invented. --- Edith Sitwell
Brenda's 6 year old was explaining to the other kids what "extinct" meant: "Well," she said in all seriousness, "it means that the dinosaurs are all dead and have been dead so long they don't stink anymore, that's why they call them exstinkt."
The crumbling, old church building needed re- modeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." As he sat back down, somebody a few rows behind him lightly tossed a bit of plaster that had fallen there, onto him. The rich guy virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." As he sat down, somebody tossed an even larger chunk of plaster onto him. He jumped up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon, who had not seen the pranksters, to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again! We'll get a new church yet!"
Sexy Cop!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lonnie Meckwood of Carbondale and 50-year-old Phillip Weeks of Tunkannock, Pennsylvania Robbers hit gas station, forget to fuel up KIRKWOOD, N.Y. — State police say two Pennsylvania men robbed an upstate New York gas station and might have gotten away if they'd remembered to do one thing — fuel up. Troopers caught 29-year-old Lonnie Meckwood of Carbondale and 50-year-old Phillip Weeks of Tunkannock after their getaway car ran out of gas while the were trying to escape late Monday night. They're accused of using a knife to rob a clerk at the Quickway Convenience Store in Kirkwood, 80 miles south of Syracuse near the New York-Pennsylvania border. The clerk wasn't hurt. Police found the pair about a mile away. Their car was on the side of the road. They're being held in the Broome County Jail without bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Steve Re: What program for writing PDFs Dear Webby What program would you suggest for converting documents to PDF's? Steve Dear Steve I use Open Office. With it, that is built in and you can save anything, not just documents, in PDF format. If Open Office is too advanced for you, there is a page full of PDF converters at http://www.google.ca/search?q=free+PDF Have FUN! DearWebby
A fifth grader looks sad, so her teacher asks, "What's the problem? I hope it's not homework again." "Well, uh, yes it is," the little girl says. "I accidentally made my homework paper into a paper airplane." "That wasn't a very bright thing to do," says the teacher, "but just this once, I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in." "Oh, but that won't work," the girl says, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked, and Little Johnny already handed it in as his."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090701@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freebies at Fairs Each and every year we go to the Minnesota State Fair on opening day. This is already a thrifty move, as there are so many deals that day (otherwise known as Thrifty Thursday). We always make sure to visit the Education Building, where we gather no less than 200 free pencils, pens, rulers, and other school supplies. I have not needed to purchase pencils for back to school in 6 years now. Plus, the kids and I have a blast seeing who can gather the most. They look forward to doing this from the minute we get home from the last fair until the next one. They always hand out free fabric bags too, which work great for shopping bags for when you have to buy the rest of your supplies, or for carrying books and such as well. I don't think I have ever come home with less than 20 of them in a single year, so it is always well worth it to us. By Freemommy from Shakopee, MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Joe, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Joe's job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered. At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Joe's place?" "Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Farmer's Almanac
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 106 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.6 / 8 )
Dear Webby: Grain and film speed setting on digital cameras 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  Juy 1, 2009
Happy Canada Day!

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. --- Arthur Schopenhauer Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. --- Alfred Lord Tennyson Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau
Two highway patrolmen stop a driver for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they are writing up the ticket, one trooper turns to the other and asks, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replies, "I don't know." "What are we going to do?" the first one asks. "If we spell it wrong, the judge will dismiss the charge." "Well," says his partner, "why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Waco?"
====From Lorna Hi Webby, a few years ago you had a phantastic piece about a Hawaian Good Luck sign and a bumper sticker. Could you please run that one again ? Thanks, Lorna==== Sure, Lorna. It's a bit long, but well worth it. Got a letter from Grandma the other day--this is what it said: The other day I went into a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. Well, I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice and a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my car. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It's a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. Then I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, leaned out his window and hollered, "For the love of God! Go! Go! Jesus Christ! Go!" What an exuberant cheerleader for the Lord he was! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him say something about a "sunny beach." I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air, so I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing--even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple people were so caught up in the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask me what church I attended, but I noticed that the light had changed. So I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through before the light changed again and felt kind of sad to leave all those people behind after the love we'd shared, so I slowed down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cesar Velez-Velez, 51, in Lawrenceville, Georgia Fugitive On Run For 29 Years Caught Running Red Light Fugitive On Run For 29 Years Caught Running Red Light Updated: 3:55 pm EDT June 30, 2009 LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga -- Gwinnett County police have arrested a fugitive who was on the run for 29 years on a drug charge after stopping him for running a red light. Police say 51-year-old Cesar Velez-Velez was one of more than 400 people stopped for a warning during a "public education campaign" about newly installed red right-turn arrows at a busy intersection. Although right turns on red are legal in Georgia, it is illegal to turn on a red arrow. The officer who stopped Velez-Velez June 23 became suspicious when he acknowleged living in Georgia for 12 years but only had a North Carolina driver's license. The officer ran a records check and discovered Velez-Velez was wanted by the U.S. Marshal's Service on a 1980 charge of conspiracy to distribute cocaine.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Vanessa Re: DIN and ISO numbers on camera Dear Webby A friend told me to mess with the DIN/ASA/ISO settings on my camera to reach further into the dark. Unfortunately, he was using all kinds of weird technical terms, probably because he didn't really understand it himself. So I figured I would ask you. You can 'splain things so that mere mortals and even Blondes can understand it. Thanks Vanessa Dear Vanessa In the old days those numbers used to refer to the size of the crystals or grains in the film. The bigger the grains, the more sensitive to light, but also the pictures were coarser, "grainier". For fine portraits in good light you used a film with a low number, and exposed it a bit longer. For fast action shots like races, where you didn't have time for long exposures, or for low light conditions, you used a film with a high number. Coarse, but fast. Digital cameras fake it with the smooth analog amplifier between the detector and the digitizing computer. That doesn't make the picture coarse, but the picture comes out as if there was more light than there actually was. That trick works beautifully in low light conditions, for example people lit up by the light of a camp fire or candle, IF you make sure that the camp fire or the candle is NOT in the picture. If it is, it's brightness too will be exaggerated. And make sure that you return the setting to normal before morning, otherwise every daylight picture will be too light. Have FUN! DearWebby
"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his anxious patient. "You only have six months to live." The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time." "Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090701@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze an Envelope to Remove a Stamp To remove a stamp from an envelope, put the envelope in the freezer for a few hours. When you remove it, the stamp will pop right off. The adhesive is still good and the stamp can then be placed wherever you want to use it. By Sandy from Elon, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, why would anyone want to wear a windbreaker?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A woman was in the habit of having long telephone conversations that sometimes lasted over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes. "What is the matter?" asked her husband. "You were on the phone talking for less than half an hour." "I got a wrong number," the woman replied.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Canada Day
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 158 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 316 )
Dear Webby: Free Zip programs 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  June 30, 2009

I am no more humble than my talents require. --- Oscar Levant My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. --- Benjamin Disraeli "Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." --- John F. Kennedy
Bernie's mom admitted to being a less than fastidious housekeeper. One evening dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and said, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel." Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Well, darling, that's a pretty good start! I'm sure with some patient practising you could even learn to dust it!"
During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I'm dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?" "No, sir," a student called out. "No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the silver coin won't dissolve." "Well, Professor Mc Scottish, if it would, you would have asked for MY coin for the experiment !"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Terrol Alan Casborn, 32, of Concord, CA Bank robber ID'd by tattoo A serial bank-robbery suspect was identified with the help of the mother of his children after she recognized his distinctive tattoo - a dark blotch that covered her name at the request of another woman, authorities said. Terrol Alan Casborn, 32, was indicted by a federal grand jury in Oakland on Wednesday on charges that he robbed the Mechanics Bank on Concord Avenue in Concord of $19,242 on Aug. 8 and ECC Bank on Sun Valley Boulevard in Concord of $4,508 on Jan. 22. Casborn pleaded not guilty in U.S. District Court in Oakland on Thursday. The Mechanics Bank surveillance video showed that the robber had a large, irregularly-shaped "blotch or spot close to the wrist, with what appears to be cursive writing below the blotch, closer to the knuckles," FBI Special Agent Todd Dorman wrote in an affidavit. A ski mask was found near the scene of both bank robberies, authorities said. The mask found after the January robbery was analyzed by the San Mateo County sheriff's office crime lab, where criminalists matched the DNA to Casborn, who has previous convictions for resisting arrest, car theft, forgery and passing fictitious checks, authorities said. On April 14, the FBI interviewed Jolene Allen, the mother of Casborn's four children, Dorman wrote. At one point, Casborn had the name, "Jolene," tattooed on the back of his left hand and the name of their daughter tattooed immediately below it, Allen told investigators. "Allen knows that Casborn subsequently had the name 'Jolene' covered by a dark tattoo at the request of another woman," Dorman wrote. Allen recognized Casborn on the two surveillance videos, the FBI said. Authorities said he is also suspected of robbing two banks in Fairfield and one in Benicia from June to August 2008. In all five hold-ups, the robber wore a ski mask and was armed with a gun, the FBI said. Casborn was arrested June 17 .He is being held without bail at Santa Rita Jail in Dublin.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jaye Re: Free Zip Dear Webby, First let me ask you to please send me your Humor letter again. I have changed Computers and no longer am getting you. I still have my same e-mail address, ***@msn.com Also want to know if you have a free Winzip for me to download. I have had to re-install a lot of programs i lost and that was one of them. Thanks so much for all your good advice over the years. Your Humor friend, Jaye Dear Jaye E-mail address '***@msn.com' is already in the list database! That means either you or MSN is blocking your subscription. WinZip is $29.95 at http://www.winzip.com/index.htm There are lots of free zippers available. Just google for free zip and you get pages and pages of free zippers. Take your pick! Have FUN! DearWebby
Bert's wife enrolled Molly, her lovable but dumb cocker spaniel, in a ten-week obedience class. At the end of the term Molly had made little progress. She re-enrolled her, but at the end of the second course Molly was still noticeably behind her canine classmates. The instructor, perhaps determined to succeed with that dog, offered to let her repeat the course for the third time at no charge. That evening Bert heard his wife on the phone with her mother. "Guess what?" she said. "Molly was the only dog in her class to get a free scholarship!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090601@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Avoid Flashed Out Photos This is a tip for those pictures where you need a flash but then you take the picture and it totally whites out your picture. Try putting your finger in the middle of your flash. It still lets the flash do it's job but at the same time, limits the light. Try it. It works! By Karen from Arnold, MO Before you say that is bad advice, consider the choice of cameras. If she uses those under $10 disposable party cameras, that is good advice in twilight or smoky conditions. Those disposable cameras have everything fixed. Nothing is adjustable or measured and calculated. The only "adjustment" you got is your finger in front of the flash. For best results use a bit of cardboard to direct the flash to the side, and let it bounce from a wall onto whatever you are taking the picture of. That gives you very nice contrast and 3D depth, instead of the flat faces you get with a dead on flash. With cameras that measure conditions and calculate the settings, if it "totally whites out your picture", replace the camera. It obviously doesn't mesaure, calculate, or adjust any more. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Our parish priest was making a visit to my nephew's home. He knocked on the door, and the little 4-year-old boy went to the door and saw the priest. He called to his dad, "Hey, Dad! That guy that works for God is here!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A man with a heart condition inherits a million dollars. His family, concerned that the shock might trigger a heart attack, asks his minister to tell him about the windfall. The minister goes to the man's house and, after pleasantries, asks him, "What would you do if you inherited a million dollars?" "Well, pastor," the man says, "I think I would give half of it to your church." At that, the pastor keels over dead.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: White tiger raised by chimp
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 249 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 374 )
Dear Webby: Firefox colors 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  June 29, 2009

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. --- Charlie McCarthy When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi, Mom! --- Laurie Anderson "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." --- Ben Williams
Good jokes always come back. Here is an Oldie Goldie that came back to me today: What would Bible characters drive? One theory is that God would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua also drove a Triumph, but with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Thus following their Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda ...."The Apostles were in one Accord."
Despite warnings from his Alpine guide, an American skier is separated from his group and falls into a deep crevasse. Several hours later, a rescue party finds the skier. The leader of the rescue team shouts down to him, "We're from the Red Cross!" "Sorry," the American yells back, "I already gave at the office."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jake Ormerod, 18, in Torquay, England Burglar called victim's cab company TORQUAY, England (UPI) -- British police said a burglar who stole a cab driver's phone from his house made the mistake of using the pilfered phone to call the cabbie's company. Police in Torquay, England, said the phone operator for the cab company recognized the incoming call as coming from the phone of a cabbie named Don Smith, whose house had been burgled the night before, and sent cops instead of a cab to pick the man up, The Sun reported Tuesday. Jake Ormerod, 18, pleaded guilty to burglary as well as theft and shoplifting charges from unrelated incidents, the report said. Prosecutors said they are seeking a jail sentence of at least 18 months.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Adriane Re: FireFox colors Dear Webby, I have seen people at work use different color Firefox browsers. I am new here and don't want to appear stupid and ask where to get those versions of Firefox. Can you help me out? Adriane Dear Adriane Those are just colors they chose after getting the AnyColor Add-on. Click on Tools, Add-ons, Get Add-ons, See More Recommended Ad-Ons In there, about a page down, you will see ANY-COLOR. Just add that to your Firefox. Then you can choose from a bunch of pre-defined color schemes and even fine tune those for your own personal taste. There are tons of other free Add-ons there too, and you will feel like a kid in a candy store. Do yourself a favor and NOT add more than one per week. That gives you a chance to get comfortable and familiar with each, instead of overwhelmed and not remember what is controlled by which add-on. Have FUN! DearWebby
An airport ticketing agent was working at the counter and began asking a passenger the required security questions. "Have you received any objects from an unknown person to carry aboard the airplane today?" "No," said the woman. "Did you pack your own suitcase?" she inquired, pointing to the traveler's rolling carry-on bag. "Yes," she answered. "Has your bag been under your control since you've been in the airport?" "Well, no, not exactly," the passenger said with a sigh. "The silly thing keeps either trying to go every which way, or else it's trying to trip me. I feel like I am under IT's control."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090601@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ask For Discounts On Clearance Items I save money on things at big name stores by looking through the clearance items and mark downs and then approaching an assistant manager or floor manager about a further discount. You would be amazed at how often they just want to get rid of something. I have purchased a beautiful TV stand for $10.00 that was originally $79.00. A child's desk that was $115.00 for $15.00. A basketball backboard with the tall stand that was regular $150.00+ for $40.00. Of course you have to be really nice about it but 7 times out of 10, they have discounted it for me. It also take a little extra time but I going during the week in the AM when the stores are less busy to look for bargains for Christmas, birthdays, weddings, etc. By Evey from ManvelL, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." and hand written underneath: "Sandals can eat any place they want."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

HIM: "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today" HER: "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear" HIM: "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news" HER: "Well, the air bag works"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Famous Caricatures
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 182 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 356 )

<<First <Back | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | 105 | 106 | Next> Last>>