Detail View 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, July 31

The world is not really watching with bated breath what will
happen next in the debt ceiling soap opera. It is more like
a comedy, and they are bound to come up with something
really dumb.

Obama wants a blank check to buy the next election,
the Democrats want to get re-elected to a warm place to crap,
and figure election goodies will do the trick,
the Republicans are worried about long term damage due to 
overspending at the wrong time, and needing such drastic
measures, when they get their turn, that they will be kicked
out after one term.

There is no point trying to second-guess what they will do.
I am sure they are quite capable of coming up with something 
a lot dumber than you or I can envision.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music." --- TV "Silk Stalkings" "If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire." --- George E. Woodberry
Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him. "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked. "Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night." "Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbors?" "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly, "Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other like this. Your husband's bound to get suspicious." "No way, sweetie, he's dumb as a post," she assured him. "Besides, we've been messing around for six months now and he doesn't suspect a thing." "True," agreed the dentist, "but you're down to one tooth!"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Condor
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Julia Lynn Vanhouten, 19, of Bonita Springs, and Kerstan Trinere Harman, 18, of Fort Myers, Jerky theft led to drug arrest FORT MYERS, Fla., July 28 (UPI) -- Authorities in Florida said a young woman accused of stealing beef jerky from a gas station was arrested on drug charges. The Lee County Sheriff's Office said Julia Lynn Vanhouten, 19, of Bonita Springs, and Kerstan Trinere Harman, 18, of Fort Myers, fled the Circle K store on South U.S. 41 in Fort Myers when employees spotted Harman shoving beef jerky into her pants Monday, the Naples Daily News reported Thursday. Deputies caught up to the pair, who were fleeing in Vanhouten's Dodge Charger, and discovered an oxycodone pill where Harman had been sitting. They said Harman left three syringes and white lace behind in their patrol car and she was found to be carrying several needle caps and a straw. Harman was charged with drug possession and paraphernalia, smuggling of contraband into a detention facility, criminal mischief, resisting a law enforcement officer and petit theft. Vanhouten was charged with fleeing and eluding law enforcement officers.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dave Re: Detail View Dear Webby, Sometime ago, before I was the victim of a virus attack, I remember a tip to maintain a 'Details' view in a folder. Is there a global setting which will always keep a 'details' view in any folder? I really look forward to these tips! Thanks for all - jokes, pictures and especially the tip. Dave Dear Dave In the File Explorer, hit ALT V D That will do the trick. However, keep in mind that after about 30-40 viewings, Windows goes senile and fergets. Then you just hit that key combination again. There is a longwinded way to do the same in the registry, but it's not worth the hassle. It is not any mre permanent. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Approaching eighty-five years of age, Mrs. Harris finally decided it was time to give up her apartment in New York and move to Miami. She was given the name of a Florida realtor, who enthusiastically drove her all over Miami, extolling the virtues of every apartment they looked at. "And this one, what a steal," he rhapsodized, "the investment of a lifetime. Why, in ten years it's gonna be worth three times..." "Sonny," interrupted Mrs. Harris, "at my age I don't even buy green bananas."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Print On The Back Side Of Paper Instead of throwing away copy paper that has been run through the printer or copier, I have started to save them. Place the used paper in a file folder or appropriate sized box to keep the corners flat and paper unwrinkled. I then use the back of these sheets to print proof reading copies or other things where it doesn't matter if the back has already been used. It can really save money and resources. I do this at home and at work and feel good about getting all the use I can out of every sheet of paper. By Bebe52 from Lambert, MS http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Use an empty sewing thread spool, wood or styrofoam, as a stamp, and a regular stamp pad for inking, and stamp the used side. That will save a LOT of confusion! When somebody shows up with a kid, they love stamping the used sides and usually would gladly do a lot more, than you have ready for them. In many offices that trick halves the paper expense. What cuts expenses even more is a good and reliable ink and toner supplier like Atlantic Inkjet. We have used their ink and toner for over 10 years and have been very happy with their prices and fast service. They even take back unused ink cartridges, when you upgrade printers! Highly recommended! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The court case concerned a will and Kelly was a witness. "Was the deceased," asked the attorney, "In the habit of talking to himself when he was alone?" "I don't know," said the Irishman. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "I never happened to be with him when he was alone. "
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place. They put up a big bold sign which read: "WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!" Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: "WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS

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Restore icon placement 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, July 30

Thank you Betty!


Ringedingding
DW: "Hi! This is DearWebby at Webby"
Telebimbo: "IS THIS WEBBY INCORPORATED?"
DW: "No. This is DearWebby at Webby"
Telebimbo: "CAN I TALK TO SOMEBODY IN MARKETING?"
DW: "No."
Telebimbo: "I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY IN MARKETING 
       WHO IS IN CHARGE OF PURCHASING ADVERTISING!"
DW: "So?"
Telebimbo: "I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY IN MARKETING."
DW: "Have you tried taking Ex-Lax?"
Telebimbo: "SIR, I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY IN MARKETING."
DW: "Well that's tough. Nobody in marketing talks to telebimbos. Try email."
Telebimbo: "WE DON'T HAVE EMAIL. I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO 
        SOMEBODY IN MARKETING." 
DW: "You can use VideoChat, if you don't have email. Just
      put a paper bag over your head."
Telebimbo: "SIR, I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY IN MARKETING."
DW: "Well that's tough. Nobody in marketing talks to telebimbos. Try email."
Telebimbo: "SIR, WE DO NOT HAVE EMAIL!"
DW: "Well, if you don't have email, and don't have a paper sack
    to cover your head, then why are you phoning me?"      
Telebimbo: "SIR, I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEBODY IN MARKETING."
DW: "You really should invest in a paper sack. You probably don't look
    too bad with a paper sack over your head. 
    Well, the computer finished booting up. I got to go.
    Don't call us, we'll call you, maybe." Click.

It' amazing how some people figure they can get any business
in today's world while they use last century's methods.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"To escape criticism--do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." --- Elbert Hubbard "Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship." --- Zeuxis (~400 B.C.)
A friend of mine was telling me her flight from Boston to New York was delayed, which meant she missed her connection home to Seattle. She joined a group of other passengers, all in the same boat, each hoping to book seats on the next flight out. All of the passengers waited patiently except for one man who treated the ticket agent very rudely. "I had an aisle seat reserved and I BETTER get an aisle seat when we get on another plane," he ranted and raved. A few minutes later the ticket agent announced that there would be room for everyone. "And, sir," she said, addressing the rude fella, "I'm happy to tell you that I was able to get you an aisle seat, sir. It is at the very back, but it is an isle seat." The man, still muttering, picked up his carry on, grabbed his boarding pass, and headed through the door. The agent continued, "And I'm also pleased to announce the rest of you will be seated in First Class."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Nike has recalled more than 400 thousand defective shoes after reports that the poor workmanship may have injured 6 people. A Nike company spokesperson was upset, griping, "You just can't get good help for 75 cents a day anymore".
Click through the picture to the large version. Pink-necked Green-Pigeon
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Justin Lee Clark, 22, of Canton; Jonathan Lee Earwood, 22, of Canton; and Ashley Caudle, 28, of Marietta, GA Police ID Suspects Accused Of Firing At Cops COBB COUNTY, Ga. -- Police have identified three suspects accused of shooting at Cobb County police during a chase. Justin Lee Clark, 22, of Canton; Jonathan Lee Earwood, 22, of Canton; and Ashley Caudle, 28, of Marietta, were all charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, among a whole lot of other charges. Friday's chase ended with a crash on busy Chastain Road, police said. Investigators said the chase started when a white Honda Civic, driven by Clark, tried to provoke a motorcycle officer by running into his lane. "The motor officer yelled at the car, ‘Hey, what are you doing?’ The suspect, again, encroached on the officer’s lane, the officer initiated a traffic stop and the suspect then fled,” said Cobb County police Officer Michael Bowman. Police said the driver ran a red light, went the wrong way down part of Barrett Parkway, and then raised the stakes. "Sometime between Barrett Parkway and Town Center Mall, there are shots fired at the officer. The motor officer is the only one there; there are no car units there. Per policy, the motor officer is told to disengage the chase,” Bowman said. That's when police said the driver blew by a marked car, which gave chase again and ended when the Honda crashed into another car at Chastain Road. The driver dashed off, but police quickly caught all three suspects. Two guns were found in the car, police said. Contrary to earlier reports that shots were fired at the motorcycle police officer, authorities now say a weapon accidentally discharged inside Clark's car as a passenger was getting a firearm out of his pants.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nolan Re: Restore icon placement Dear Webby, My dad plays some weird games on the computer, and he keeps messing with the resolution. The worst is some old flight simulator. After that, all the icons are shuffled all over the place and some can't even be found until I move others. Is there a way to nail the icons down permanently ? Nolan Dear Nolan No, you can't nail them down. When Windows changes the monitor resolution, instead of recalculating icon sizes and placement, it simply trashes that and re-arranges your icons. A System Restore will usually bring them back to where they belong, but that is pretty hot medicine! There is a little freeware program that just saves the desktop settings and lets you restore those. It is called "Save My Desktop", and I have had it on my Tool Box for ages. Just scoot down until you get to a dark green button Save My Desktop on it. Don't worry, it is free. Some of you should be able to download it from here. Once you have it installed, arrange all your icons and desktop features the way you like them, then hit the icon for "Save My Desktop", and select "SAVE". When you need to restore them, hit that icon and select "RESTORE". That's all there is to it. Yes, there are probably a dozen copycat programs, that do the same, and no, I have not tested any of those. "Save My Desktop" has worked fine for me since Windows95. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Judy hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," Judy replied. "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?" "No, Silly!" Judy said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $3,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make A Thrifty Recycled Drink Container I am a person who cannot keep up with her belongings. Let me hasten to remind you that it is not age. I have always been a scatterbrain and I have watches, umbrellas, and car cups scattered all over. I can't make a watch or an umbrella, but I have come up with a freebie car cup. Older people in Houston need a ready supply of water during at least 10 months out of the year. I took a large plastic mayonnaise jar and a bendy soda straw and voila! a car cup. DH drilled the holes in the plastic jar lid since he doesn't like me playing with his power toys. He drilled one hole for the straw and one for water displacement. If I lose it I have a ready supply of jars and straws on the shelf. By MartyD from Houston, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all weekend.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Doug meets Bill at the bar after work and is once again looking down in the dumps. "Whats wrong now Doug," asked Bill. Doug replies, "They called in a management team and gave everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were best suited for." "Yeah, so whats the problem with that?" Doug sighs, "Well it seems that I am best suited for retirement."

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How to extract Music from PPS files 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, July 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The Saskatoon berries are going to be a week or two late 
this year. They are just barely a reddish green, but there
sure will be lots of them!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"English is a language where double negatives are a no-no." --- Alfred E. Neuman (Except in 'Bama. In 'Bama that ain't not wrong nohow!) "Be anchored to some ideal, philosophy or cause that keeps you too excited to sleep." --- Brian Koslow
A rich Texan was showing a visitor his backyard. The guest asked, "But why three swimming pools?" "It's simple," the Texam explained. "One is a hot water pool and the second a cold water one." And the third one is empty," exclaimed the visitor. "Why sure," said the Texan. "That one is for friends who can't swim!"
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

"Armstrong," the boss bellowed, "I happen to know that the reason you didn't come to work yesterday was that you were out playing golf! What do you have to say for yourself?" "That's a rotten lie!" Armstrong protested. "And I have the fish to prove it!"
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to VictorBurgos.jpg Man put fake bomb on own car NEW YORK (AP) - A fugitive from upstate New York who taunted police on his Facebook page to 'catch me if you can. I'm in Brooklyn' has been arrested. The Daily News says U.S. marshals and NYPD detectives tracked Victor Burgos down to an apartment in Brooklyn's Bedford-Stuyvesant neighborhood Monday night, sitting at his computer with his Facebook page open. The 29-year-old suspect was wanted by Utica police on multiple arrest warrants for domestic violence and harassment of his former girlfriend. He allegedly issued the Facebook challenge after his mug shot appeared on the Utica Police Department's 10 most wanted list. Utica Sgt. Steve Hauck tells the News: "He told us via Facebook to come and get him and we did."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: Extract music from PPS Dear Webby My rebuilt computer is missing a lot. What was is, that you once gave me to extract music from PPS files? Dianne Dear Dianne I still use the Power Point Extractor. Ignore the name of the program, and just select what you want to extract, and in what format. It is free. You can also get it via my tool box. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principle walks by and sees him sitting outside laughing. He says, "Little Johnny what are you doing sitting here laughing?" Little Johnny says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out." The principal says, "Well then, why are you laughing?" Little Johnny says, "Because he is sitting in the classroom, smelling my fart while I am outside in this beautiful, clean air."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create Stick Sculptures to Attract Birds This tip is "for the birds" in your garden. I don't throw away large sticks that fall during storms, instead I keep them and use them to make stick sculptures for the birds. They add whimsy to my garden and the birds LOVE to land on them because after all they are sticks from real trees. I started with a plain garden hook and just attached the sticks as I found them and it's an ever changing sculpture. You can add birdhouses or anything you want to, but I guarantee you that the birds will land on it and land on it often! By Jeanasina from Richfield, MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"Doctor, My husband thinks he is a chicken." "Oh no - how long has this been going on?" "About a year!" "A year! Why did you wait so long to come see me?" "Well, we needed the eggs."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Vern for this story: I had given our daughter, who was 14 at the time, a driver's manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to get her drivers permit. "Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book." "You do?" I returned. "Yep", she said, very smugly. I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one." So I asked her, "How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?" "One," she replied. "What?" I asked. "One?!" She repeated her answer and then because of the con- fused look on my face, she added, "You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one."

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Does Google want your personal info? 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 28

I had to drive into Calgary for a heart stress test. 
Sounds scary, but it was just sitting in a chair, shirt off
with a dozen EKG leads stuck onto freshly shaved and sanded
spots on my chest, and waiting for 40 minutes, 
then walking and jogging on a treadmill, that got faster AND
steeper every three minutes.

Well, I have to admit, that big, ugly GE treadmill beat me. 
After nine minutes the nurse was holding on to my belt at
my back, in case I keeled over. I don't think she could 
have stopped me from falling down, if I did, but it probably 
would have been fun, if she had tried.

After 9 minutes I was getting quite short of air and told her, 
that was enough. I am definitely not in the same shape any 
more, that I used to be at age 20. 
However, the heart handled the stress test just fine. Not a
single malfunction during the entire test.

I realized, though, that I need to shift my exercising from
casual to challenging. 
9 minutes is not long enough '-)

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking. --- John Maynard Keynes What looks like wrestling to some, might be dancing to others. --- Andy Griffith
There was an old lady wandering around the supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisssssssco!" Soon a store clerk approached. "Madam, the Crisco is in aisle D." The old lady replied, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff, I'm calling my husband." "Your husband's name is Crisco?" The old lady answered, "Oh, no, no, no. I only call him that when we're out in public." "Well, what do you call him when you're at home?" "Lardass"
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Three men go on a trip to the desert. One is smart, one is average, and the third is Bambo. The smart guy says, "I brought water, so we won't go thirsty." The average guy says, "I brought food, so we won't go hungry." Then, they ask Bambo what he brought, and Tim says, "I brought this car window, so we can roll it down, if we get hot." But wait, there's more! As it turns out, the window Bambo brought came from a stolen car. The three men are arrested, taken to jail, and put in separate cells. Somehow, the smart guy manages to get hold of the keys, and unlocks each of their cells. They then proceed to escaping through a window. The smart guy goes first, and sees a wall blocking his escape route. He also sees a tall tree next to the wall, which he starts climbing, figuring this was the only way to get past the wall. As the smart guy reaches the top of the wall, a guard on the other side hears him. "Who's there?" asked the guard. The smart guy replies with a convincing "Meow. Meow." "Oh," says the guard, "it's only a cat in a tree." So the smart guy gets away. The average guy goes next. He climbs the same tree, and the same guard hears him. "Who's there?" "Tweet, tweet. Tweet, tweet." "It's only a bird in a tree," the guard mutters. And, last but not least, it is now Bambo's turn to escape. Now Bambo has been watching the others make their escapes, and he likes their approach. So, he climbs the same tree, to get over the same wall, and meets the same guard. Meanwhile, Tim has been concentrating - what's wrong with that picture? -: Ok, animal noises. Think animal noises. Of course, the guard hears him, and asks, "Who's there?" "Moooo. Moooo." Naturally, that gets all three of them caught. All three men are recaptured, and taken, as targets, to the firing range as punishment for their jailbreak. The smart guy, as usual, goes first. They bring him out, and the man in charge yells, "Ready...Aim..-" But before he got a chance to continue, the smart guy yells, "Earthquake!!" Everyone ducks and covers, and the smart guy gets away. Next, the average guy is brought out. Again, the man in charge yells, "Ready...Aim..-" "Tornado!!" They all scatter, and the average guy gets away. Finally, they bring Bambo out. Once again, Bambo has been watching the other two, and, once again has been concentrating - twice in the same day?! -: Natural disasters. Natural disasters. Remember, natural disasters are the key to escape. Once again, the man in charge yells, "Ready...Aim..-" "Fire!!!" yells Bambo.
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeffrey Boreman, 37 in Largo Florida Man put fake bomb on own car LARGO, Fla., July 23 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said they arrested a man accused of strapping a fake bomb to his car before taking it in for an oil change. Largo police said they were called to the Jiffy Lube on Walsingham Road July 16 by a mechanic who discovered the device while working on the 2004 Nissan Maxima brought in by Jeffrey Boreman, 37, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Friday. Lt. Edward Sohoski said police determined the device was a fake after it was removed and detonated by a team consisting of the bomb squad and agents from the FBI and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Sohoski said security camera footage from a Target store depicted Boreman purchasing several of the items used to create the hoax bomb. "There's evidence he's distraught over a pending divorce," Sohoski said. Police said nearby business were evacuated and traffic was backed up for hours as a result of the incident. Boreman was charged with planting a hoax bomb and was released Thursday on $10,000 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharron Re: Google wants info Dear Webby re your International Bonehead : - Shanda Kidd I would absolutely love it if they handed out these kind of stiff penalties to the villians over in my country. The judges here in Australia are either scared of the criminals or they're in their pay - maybe a bit of both. And I hate "plea bargaining" thats what got the honeymoon murderer only 18 months. BTW - I know it isn't your problem but I too have problems receiving your newsletter - I do get it spasmodically but usually I check it out at the site. The strange things is - I never have problems getting ThriftyFun. I was going to set up an email account with Google but they wanted too much info Still I do enjoy your newsletter Kind Regards Sharron Dear Sharron I agree 100% with your view about treating criminals! Don't worry about Google wanting info. You can make up every bit of it, as long as you mark it down somewhere. All that info is just to help you retrieve your password, in case you forget it. You can call yourself "My Grandma", born January 12, 1798, whatever! Just take a screen shot and save that, so that you can check it, if you ever need to. Nobody at Google gives a hoot about how close to reality that info is, as long as you have a record and can use it for password retrieval. I'll send you a Gmail invitation. Be as silly and ridiculous on it, as you want. Once you got it set up, subscribe with that address, and make a filter in Gmail, so that it never puts mail from humor@webby.com into the spam, no matter what naughty words I might mention. There is no rush with it, but sooner or later you'll have to do it anyway. Preferably before y7mail censors their own invoices. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Ellie for this story: One day I took my 6-year-old son with me to visit a friend at work. Everyone there knew me, and I was offered a cup of coffee. That day, as one of the employees went to make more coffee, my son followed her and asked, "What are you doing?" "I'm making your mom's favorite drink," she answered. Imagine my shock when I heard my son say, "Wow! You know how to make beer?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Craft Patterns I love to sew, but one thing I don't like is trying to get the pattern pieces back into those little envelopes that have the pattern in it originally. I knew I had to do something. I went to an office supply store and bought some cheap file folders. I sew them along the sides then cut the pattern envelope to the size of the file folder and tape or glue it on the outside. It is so much easier to fold the pattern pieces to fit the file folder. I bought a file cabinet at an auction for $1.00 and I was set. No more frustration. By Carole from Klamath, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
In the subway train the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of preserving health. One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the subject. "Look at me!" he said. "Never a day's sickness in my life, and all due to simple food. Why, gentlemen," he continued, "from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely simple regular life --- no effeminate delicacies, no late hours, no extravagances. Every day, in fact, summer and winter, I was in bed regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning. I worked from eight to one, then had dinner --a plain dinner, mark my words! After that, an hour's exercise; then.." "Excuse me, sir," interrupted the facetious stranger in the corner, "but what were you in prison for that long ???"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An airline captain was breaking in a very new stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

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Email notice about Microsoft update 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, July 27

I am amazed at the boneheadedness of Obamanov's advisors.
Obviously they don't realize, that the lenders are getting rather
concerned. Their reluctance to reduce taxes to encourage
economic recovery just makes them look like idiots, who don't
understand the economy or the influence of taxes on it.
The juvenile delusion that taxing the job creators will get
the bills paid is insane. That didn't work for Stalin or 
anybody else, who tried that.

Hopefully somebody will clue them in before month-end!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself." ---A.H. Weiler Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Plato had slaves...George Washington had slaves... So, do I feel intrinsically better than these two men? Of course I do! They're dead! --- Todd Andrew Reid
A golfer is playing a round of golf with his buddies. On the sixth hole, a hole over water, he proceeds to flub nine balls into the water. Frustrated over his poor golfing ability, and about ready to hit somebody, he heaves his golf clubs into the water, and begins to walk off the course. Then all of a sudden he turns around and jumps back in the lake, his buddies apparently thinking he is going to retrieve his clubs. When he comes out of the water he doesn't have his clubs and begins to walk off the course. Then one of his buddies asks, "Why did you jump into the lake?" He replied, "I left my car keys in the bag."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Thanks to Andy for this story: As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Daturas
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jack Van Sickle, 28, Des Moines, Iowa Driver accused of ramming Des Moines police cruiser A Des Moines man is in custody for ramming a Des Moines police squad car repeatedly Thursday night and early today during a chase. Jack Daniel Van Sickle, 28, is charged with felony eluding, assault on a police officer and driving while his license was suspended. He is held in the Polk County Jail on $10,500 bond. Officer Paul Parizek followed Van Sickle’s vehicle at about 11:55 p.m. Thursday because Van Sickle allegedly made an improper lane change. “Concerned that the driver may be impaired I followed after the car to further monitor it’s operation,” the officer wrote in a report When Van Sickle signaled a left turn and then turned right shortly thereafter, Parizek activated emergency lights and tried to pull him over. After slowing to a stop on East Grand Avenue near East 19th Street, Van Sickle reportedly sped away, followed by the officer. Speeds reached 70 mph on Capitol Avenue, according to the report. After the suspect’s vehicle appeared to slide under a parked semi trailer in a parking lot, Parizek prepared to get out of his police cruiser. “I could see Van Sickle looking at me,” the officer wrote. “Van Sickle then suddenly backed up with his car, striking mine in the front push dumper area. I thought this may have been unintentional at first, but when I didn’t move, Van Sickle, while looking directly at me, did it a second time.” The suspect managed to get away again and raced off down Capitol Avenue. Parizek attempted to disable the fleeing vehicle by sending it into a spin with a bumper tap. Van Sickle accelerated. The bumper of the officer’s car became wedged under the passenger door of Van Sickle’s car, the officer wrote in his report. “I could feel Van Sickle accelerating and bumping his car into mine,” the officer said. Another officer rammed his squad car into the fleeing Chevrolet Impala. Parizek applied his brakes and was able to bring the chase to a halt. The officer was trapped in his squad car so he crawled out a window. Other officers arrived and helped remove the suspect from the car. Officers are checking to see if Van Sickle was impaired at the time. Van Sickle’s car was impounded. Officer Parizek’s car was disabled and towed from the scene.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Email notice about Microsoft update Dear Webby can you please let me have the directions for the update for the Microsoft Windows Security Update. I recieved 2 notifications about it in my mail but both were infected with a worm virus. I am not sure if this was sent from Microsoft and the worm attached itself along the way, or if it was sent by a nasty type!! I have been away for a while and heard about the update from friends. Is it necessary to download this? Thanks Ann Dear Ann First, change the date on your computer. Because your date is incorrect, your mail gets lost way back in amongst long taken care of mail. I found yours accidentally, because I had to go back there for some other mail. DON'T install or use those phony update notices! Just carefully find and delete the attachments, then delete those mails. Microsoft does NOT EVER send out update notices, especially not from AOL or Yahoo addresses. They have a lot more class than that. Windows has an option built in for automatically getting updates directly from Microsoft. Just click on the desktop, hit F1, and seachr for "updating" to see how that is handled by the version of Windows that you are using. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. "Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner. "Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog. That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" "I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. "Heel!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Honey Bottle in a Mason Jar I buy the plastic squeeze bottles of honey at the grocery store and they always drip and leave a "honey ring" in my cabinet. So here's a great tip. Put the honey bottle right inside a mason jar or other jar that it will fit into. No more honey drips! The drips stay in the jar and with a lid on it, the bugs and ants aren't attracted to it! By tltrani from Boulder Creek, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ A well cleaned out shampoo pumper works fine for honey. At worst, you get one precise drop of honey oozing out of the long spout after usage, but it is easy enough to catch that with one finger. The container stayes clean and dry. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Bob for this story: During my freshman year at East Texas State University in Commerce, I worked nights as a waiter. The following year, wanting my evenings free, I applied for a dormitory maintenance job and was asked, "How are you on punctuality?" "Oh, I'm good at that," I blurted out without thinking. "I'm an English major."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Irishmen are walking along. One says to the other, "What a beautiful night Mick, just look at dat moon." Mick stops and looks at his friend. "You're wrong Paddy, dat's not the moon, dat's the sun." They began to argue when they come upon another Irishmen. "Excuse us sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what's dat ting up in the sky shining. Is it the moon or the sun?" "Sorry fellas, I don't live around here."

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How to fix the black menu bar bug in IE 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 26

A few readers pointed out that, if you have W7 Premium or 
Home Premium, then there are more email programs to select
as default, however, only few of the full featured legacy programs
popular in industry and commerce. It is no problem, though,
since they all start fine when called from a desktop icon, and
it is not that big a hardship, not being able to mail from
the file explorer. Most people can get used to that with just 
minor griping and cussing.

Last night I did major griping and cussing, when the DSL
failed three hours before sending out the newsletters.
With Telus, the night shift support is just some Taliban, 
who try to blame problems on you and waste time until you 
hang up on them.

I did manage to send everything out via slow dial-up, but
as you can probably imagine, I was not happy about that.
When I called them again in the morning, they realised
that almost 300 DSL clients were cut off and admitted, 
that it was not my fault after all. Early afternoon the DSL 
was restored, and I could work at normal speed again.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!

We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us. --- George Eliot The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews. --- William Faulkner
Working for a pediatrician calls for stifling a chuckle from time to time. When a frantic mother phoned to tell us her baby had a high temperature of 102, we had to know whether she was taking the reading under the arm, in the mouth or elsewhere. So we asked, "How are you taking it?" Her reply: "Oh, I'm holding up pretty well!"
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

A small boy stunned his parents when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters. Finally his mother said, "Where did you get all that money?" "At Sunday School," the boy replied nonchalantly. "They have big bowls of it."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shanda Kidd, 22, in Chicago, Ill. Woman’s bullets fell out of gun just before she tried to shoot cop Shandra Kidd didn’t realize her gun was empty when she tried to shoot a Chicago Police officer. All the bullets fell out when she was running from the officer. Unfortunately for her, the officer’s gun was loaded. And the officer shot her in the buttocks. On Thursday, Kidd was sentenced to 55 years in prison for attempted murder and unlawful possession of a weapon by a felon. In May 2007, officers were investigating a report of shots fired near 78th and Burnham when they stopped a car Kidd was riding in. She ran and when an officer caught her, she stuck a gun in the officer’s chest and pulled the trigger. But the gun didn’t go off. The officer and Kidd struggled and they fell down. When they got up, she stuck the gun in the officer’s chest again and again pulled the trigger. Again, it didn’t go off. That’s when the officer shot Kidd, 22, of the 7700 block of South Phillips. Police later found that the cylinder of Kidd’s gun had opened during the chase and all the bullets had fallen out. Judge Neil Linehan sentenced Kidd on Thursday. “This is a fitting and a just sentence for anyone who would be so bold as to fire a gun at a police officer,” Cook County State’s Attorney Anita Alvarez said. “We are grateful that this officer was uninjured in this incident and we will continue to prosecute violent crimes against police officers to the fullest extent of the law.” In most other states she would not have survived THAT much boneheadedness.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Black menu bar in IE8 Hi, Webby, Any idea how my menu bar in Internet Explorer could have gotten blacked out? The headings are still there under the black, and they are lightly visible when you click on the help menu, but it goes back to black when you exit the help pop-up. A couple of other bars are black, also. This is IE8. THANKS!! Helen Dear Helen I switched from IE6 to FireFox and spared myself all those headaches. Microsoft is confused about that black bar bug too, not just you. Microsoft This guy seems to have found a way around that problem: Fix black menu bug Just get into High Contrast mode and out of that again, as fast as possible, and it will be fine. Don't stay in High Contrast mode, because a lot of stuff simply does not work in that mode. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Q: How can you tell if a Redneck is Working in your Office? A: The monitor is up on blocks. ---------- Put the computer up on blocks! It will suck a lot fewer dust bunnies into it's innards and run a lot cooler.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flavoring Water Without Adding Calories I can't consume artificial sweetener of any kind without getting really sick, so I freeze chunks of fresh fruit and put in the freezer to use as a flavoring and cooling agent. Pineapple, lemons, limes, apples, pears, watermelon, and honeydew are all good choices. I also like the Lipton tea bags with herb and orange. A few dips of a tea bag in a glass of water with ice will get me 3 glasses of slightly flavored beverage that changes up just plain water. By T and T Grandma from Benson, MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A proud mother telephoned a Sunday newspaper to announce she had given birth to triplets. The line was bad, and the operator didn't hear the message. "Would you repeat that?", the operator asked. "Not if I can help it, " said the mother.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A woman was waiting at an airport one night, With several long hours before her flight. She hunted for a book in the airport shops, Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop. She was engrossed in her book but happened to see, That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be. Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between, Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene. So she munched the cookies and watched the clock, As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock. She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye." With each cookie she took, he took one too, When only one was left, she wondered what he would do. With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, He took the last cookie and broke it in half. He offered her half, as he ate the other, She snatched it from him and thought...oooh, brother. This guy has some nerve and he's also rude, Why he didn't even show any gratitude! She had never known when she had been so galled, And sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate, Refusing to look back at that thieving ingrate. She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat, Then sought her book, which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise, There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes. If mine are here, she moaned with despair, The others were his, and he tried to share. Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

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Changing the default email program in W7 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 25

A friend changed her email address, again. 
I asked her why she keeps doing that and being a nuisance?
She claims, it is the only way to escape the spam.

Considering, that I have used humor@webby.com for about
15 years, unchanged, I had to laugh about that wacky notion.

Expecting everybody else to update your address every time
you think you are getting mor spam, than you can cope with,
just makes you look incompetent. Are you sure, you should be
allowed onto a computer without competent supervision?

I use MailWasher, and have since the last century. 
Wow, that makes me sound old! Actually, it was just a dozen 
or so years ago, that I first got it.

The main advantages of MailWasher are:
1) It, and you, sort the mail on the server, prior to 
downloading it. You only download the mails, that you are
actually going to read / answer / file. You don't waste time
on spam.

2) It is childishly easy to make filters, that will make sure 
mail from specific addresses always gets through, no matter 
what they write about. Yes, Mom MIGHT be joking about a topic,
that you normally consider spam, so you need a reliable way
to get her mail through.

3) MailWasher lets you easily click together very sophsticated
filters using your own rules and regulations and exceptions.

4) It is surprisingly cheap, and it is really easy to transfer
from an old to a new machine. I highly recommend
MailWasher.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!

"Whoever could make two ears of corn ... grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind .. than the whole race of politicians put together." --- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
The sermon had been going on too long, and the minister should have been able to see the congregation getting more than a little restless; he droned on none-the-less for yet another 15 minutes. Finally he paused and said, "What else can I say, Brothers and Sisters?" "How about 'Amen,' preacher?" said a hungry soul from the rear of the church.
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

A van carrying a dozen movie stunt men on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the ravel road, crashed through a guardrail, rolled down a 190-foot embankment, came to stop on it's roof, and burst into flames. There were no injuries.
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Leroy Shaffer, 72, in St Francis, Minn Councilman mails fake grenade to himself ST. FRANCIS, Minn. (AP) - Police say a city council member in Minnesota mailed himself a fake grenade to gain sympathy from his constituents. Leroy Schaffer was cited for filing a false police report after calling St. Francis officers last week to report a suspicious package he received in the mail. Schaffer showed the officer a package postmarked from Chicago in his mailbox. Police say the councilman told the officer he thought it was a bomb because "he was in politics and has a lot of enemies.'' Schaffer insisted the officer open the package. And, when the officer declined, Schaffer ripped it open to reveal what looked like a real hand grenade. A note in the box said "The next one will be real.'' When Schaffer was interviewed by detectives, he admitted driving to Chicago and mailing himself the package in order to gain sympathy from the public. The mayor and town council don't get along with Shaffer and don't have any kind words about him, and two local women have restraining orders against him, however, he traditionally gets a lot more votes than any other town councilors. After being charged in the fake bomb incident, he now has resigned from town council.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Peggy Re: Changing the default email program in W7 I have a friend that uses Window 7, and hates the mail program because she can't use her stationery---what would be the best email program for her to change to, so she can use her pretty stationery? Thank you for your help. Peggy Dear Peggy She will have to contact Microsoft Support. Due to very snotty programming, Windows 7 does not allow you to set other email programs as default email programs, well not without some very serious messing around in the Registry. She can use other email programs by starting them from an icon or from MailWasher, but highlighting a picture or music and hitting "SEND" in the explorer defaults to Windows Live Mail. Yes, the Europeans are planning to sue them about it, like they did about them making IE the default. Eudora still works fine in W7, and has handled stationery just fine for about 20 years. Except for W7 not allowing it as a default SEND program, it works just fine on W7. Thunderbird and many other email programs also work fine on W7, as long as you start them from an icon or call them from MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Rosa for this story: Years ago while attending a dinner party hosted by some friends of mine the hostess served a meal with this delicious mushroom sauce. After the meal there was a small amount left over and the hostess decided to allow her pregnant cat to enjoy the treat as well as the guests. The guests all felt it was a great gesture and showed the cat was a member of the family. The sauce was the highlight of the evenings topic of conversation, everyone commented on how delicious it was, and the hostess beamed at all the compliments. One of the guest commented that toadstools were much like mushrooms except for being toxic, and how funny it would be is such a culinary treat were made from that instead. As if on cue, the pet cat started crying and squirming on the floor, clutching its belly. The hostess exclaimed, "Oh my God, it's the mushroom sauce!" We all went to the emergency room in a mad rush, and had our stomachs pumped after telling them we had eaten poisonous mushrooms. This was an extremely unpleasant experience. We we got back, the cat was lying on the floor peacefully looking up at us, and had given birth to kittens.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Window Fan To Cool Home To keep your house comfy and save money on electricity during summertime, buy an exhaust fan that you can easily mount/dismount in one of your windows. Use two cheap thermometers, or just use your senses, to check whether outside temps are lower than inside. When the outside temp is lower than inside, turn on the exhaust fan. It will expel warm air and cool air must then enter to replace it. You must have at least one other window or door open. Stand in front of it and enjoy. By tomatohanger from Canton, OH http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Buy a louvred barn exhaust fan with sturdy aluminum louvres to maintain good security. Those barn fans also usually have strong metal mosquito screens keeping bugs and birds out, plus, when the fan is not running, the metal louvres fall shut. They are fairly cheap, but don't go too big or powerful! half Horsepower should be the absolute maximum, but a quarter HP is usually plenty. If you need fast cooling, for example when you et home from work, hang a blanket onto the opposite window, where you pull in fresh air from the shady side, and connect an aquarium pump to a mister spray, that will spray a very fine mist of water onto the outside of the blanket. Ideally, the blanket should not drip, and all the mist should be evaporated. The system will take all the necessary evaporation heat, 625 calories per gram of water, from the air, that gets pulled through the blanket or curtain. This trick works very well in reasonably dry climates, but not so well in damp, muggy areas. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "they're for my girlfriend". The little 5 year old said, again with a loud, piercing voice: "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a LOT of them, too! Man, you really must have f****d up!" Her mother turned as red as the roses, but all the other passengers bust a gut laughing.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!"

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Letter of the year...... 

Dear Mother-in-Law

Please don't try to tell me how to raise my kids -
I'm married to one of yours and believe me there's room for improvement!

Yours sincerely Your Daughter-in-Law



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Un-install programs on W7 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, July 24

The most asked about buzz word this month is "cloud computing".
Am I ready for cloud computing?
Well, I have been doing it since about 1994. 
What's the big deal?
Well, it seems to be a big deal when Microsoft or Google are 
involved. I agree, Google Docs and Google spreadsheets are
going to be quite neat, some day. You can already have a
very basic spreadsheet on the cloud, and have a few people
on different locations mess with it. 

"Ya mean just like PowWow Draw 20 years ago, where people
in different locations could work on the same presentation?"
Yes, Gramma, just like that, only now owned and promoted 
by big name corporations.

Wikipedia is another example of cloud computing. People from
different locations can add to documents or edit and correct them.

Cloud computing is more or less just shifting an office LAN into
a WAN (Wide Area Network).

The Internet Postcards, that we have been providing since 1994,
are "on the cloud". People visit the card sites, select pictures,
music, poetry, compose a message and send the card off to 
somebody, without ever downloading any file or data into the
computer, that they are using. The recipient then gets a pick-up
notice and goes to view the postcard on the net.
That is true cloud computing, just withhout confusing buzz words.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own" --- Robert A. Heinlein "The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week." --- Robert Frost
One of my first assignments on a summer job at an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other nitpicking little problems. He demanded an explanation and that it be re-done. "The repairs were to the other side," I noted. "You smashed in the passenger side, not the driver side. This side I only hosed off some of the dirt."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

*Dumb Sports Quotes* “Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.” --- Charles Shackleford “Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.” --– Doug Collins *"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." --- Greg Norman *"There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." --- Alan Minter *"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round." --- Tony Crozier “The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch, and one on the throttle.” --– Bob Varsha “You can sum up this sport [boxing] in two words: ‘You never know.’” --- Lou Duva “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.” --– Lou Deva… again. “The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.” –-- Randy Cross After being asked if he preferred grass or Astroturf, he responded with this gem. “I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” --– Tug Mcgraw “Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.” --– Yogi Berra “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” --- Yogi Berra
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Onak, 49, in Houston, Texas Perp kept Driving After Hitting, Killing Pedestrian (Who Crashed Through Windshield Into His Front Seat) The Houston man, 49, was charged in connection with a collision early this morning that resulted in the death of a 32-year-old man, who had exited his Ford Explorer after it broke down on a freeway. The victim was struck by Onak’s Mazda around 12:30 AM as he sought to cross the roadway. Onak, police reported, did not stop driving, despite the fact that the victim “went through the front windshield and came to a rest in the front passenger seat of the Mazda.” Onak, pictured in the above mug shot, was later stopped by a cop who noticed that the vehicle “had extensive front-end damage.” And that there was a dead guy riding shotgun. “The driver advised the deputy that he had hit something on the freeway but was not aware the victim was lying in the passenger seat,” according to a Houston Police Department press release. “Onak was believed to be under the influence and a mandatory blood draw was taken.” Onak was charged with felony accident involving injury, though the investigation is continuing and additional charges could be forthcoming.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fanny Re: Uninstall programs on W7 Dear Webby Windows 7 would not be so bad, if the dummies had not hid everything in different places. Is there ANY reason at all for moving the gas pedal into the ashtray and the brake behind the rear view mirror? Is there ANY reason for doing that, aside from proving they are user-hostile arsehoes and know the sheeple let them get away with it? And where the heck did they hide Control Panel, Add/Remove Programs ? Fanny Dear Fanny I feel the same way about Windows 7. That is why Vista was such a failure. They moved stuff around without any reason whatsoever, and annoyed everybody. To dump a program go to Control Panel All Control Panel Items Programs and Features Expect having to reboot after un-installing programs. W7 is a bit too flakey to cope with that without rebooting, so save and close everything else, before uninstalling any program. By the way, was that a typo, or is that a new description of the makers of W7 ? Have FUN! DearWebby
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Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. *********************************** Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section" A: The Caesarean Section is the red light district in Rome.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Salt Pour Spout With Canning Jars When finished with an empty cardboard salt container, cut the whole round top piece off and measure to fit a canning jar ring. Trace and cut with the flat part with scissors to fit a pint canning jar. Fill the jar with sugar, then cut a second one from a second empty salt container for non-dairy coffee creamer. The pour spouts make for easy access to your sugar and creamer. *If desired, half pint jars can be used instead of pint jars. Source: my grandmother By Monica from Cortez, CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ No new tip today, so I'll add my contribution to this one. You can get "Sugar In The Raw" in a tubular salt container style cardboard dispenser, with a rotating top suitable for sprinkling, fast dispensing and refilling. When you turn it far enough, you can insert a finger size funnel and refill it easily from a bag. If you paint the cardboard with an acrylic or enamel paint or varnish, that makes it washable and it will last you a lifetime. I don't remember how much I paid for that sugar container twenty or so years ago, but I am sure it was a lot less than a glass and chrome sugar dispenser. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I'm a counsellor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many participants have a condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish facial features. I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing myself. Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford." Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Thanks to Earl for this one: I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?" Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."

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Windows 7 - Hotmail clash 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, July 23

I sure was shocked and saddened to read about the events
in Oslo. Let's hope there won't be any copy-cat incidents!

I was not impressed when some of the media immediately started
pointing fingers at Gadafi, just because Norway enthusiastically
tests their F-16s, whenever somebody reports a short runt
with cool shades, driving a Jeep and accompanied by two tall 
women. Gadafi got blamed for Lockerbie, and punished as if
he had been involved, and is not likely to get involved with
anything like that, especially since Norway has announced
last week, that they expect to run out of bombs by August 1.
Actually, Gadafi condemned the attack

When blond, blue-eyed Norwegian farmer Anders Behring Breivik
was arrested, the media ignored their finger pointing and 
instread reported the arrested terrorist's social media status. 

Apparently he studied at the Oslo Commerce School, and is 
described as considering himself a Christian, conservative, 
nationalist and a one-time Freemason.
His social-media accounts identify him as an admirer of 
Winston Churchill as well as social liberal philosopher John 
Stuart Mill, whom he quoted on his Twitter account before 
the incident.

His profile definitely did not raise any alarms, and made him
look like an ordinary, average Norwegian.

DearWebby


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Why can't life's problems hit us when we're seventeen and know everything? --- A.C. Jolly
Charlott stormed into the eye surgeon's office and went up to the desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday, and left me theirs, " she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think," explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Annie has been sending resumes to just about any company in the area, whether they were looking for people or not. She went the e-mail route for awhile. Sending electronic cover letters and attaching her resume to each one. But after three months the poor girl was dismayed and confused that she had not received even ONE request for an interview. She finally broke down and called one of the prospective employers she'd sent a resume to. He explained the problem. "Annie, the problem was that your resume wasn't attached as indicated. I do want to thank you, though, for the great lasagna recipe." ----------------------- That's actually a failry old joke. However, sending resumes as an attachment is a dumb move. It's too risky to open an attachment, especially if it is a WORD doc and may be full of macros. That goes straight into the trash, unread, right from MailWasher. Depending on my mood, I might even bounce it back at the sender. The only resumes I look at are those that come in a very short email with a brief summary and a link to a detailed resume on a web page. While there is a dire shortage of people to work on construction or in the trades, there is a huge surplus of people who want to work on the web. If you don't make it easy to get hired, you won't be hired.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alexandria Marie Penatzer, 18, Levi Wells, 18 and two other crooks in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina Man Beaten With Bible During South Carolina Motel Room Assault During a motel room beating administered by three attackers, a South Carolina man was struck in the head by a Bible and told by one of his assailants that he needed to read the Good Book. The bizarre incident Sunday resulted in the arrest of the trio as well as the 19-year-old victim’s "girlfriend", who had traveled with the victim to the Myrtle Beach motel, where the couple “had sex a few times.” For some reason, after the victim fell asleep, Alexandria Marie Penatzer, 18, allegedly allowed three men into the room, where they beat and robbed the victim. According to a Myrtle Beach Police Department report, one of the attackers, Levi Wells, hit the victim on the head with a thrown Bible “and told him that he needed to read it.” The 18-year-old Wells and two other men were charged with burglary, armed robbery, and kidnapping. Penatzer was charged with assault and battery, and acting as an accessory both before and after the commission of a felony. The incident at the Myrtle Beach Holiday South Motel does not appear to be an isolated incident, according to recent reviews on Trip Advisor.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Penny Re: Windows 7 - Hotmail clash Hello,Webby, I have a computer problem and I am hoping you can help me! You seem to be able to help everyone who writes you! My problem deals with getting this message: "default mail client is not properly installed." This stops me from sending answers to people! I have a relatively new computer and never got this message on my old computer. What must I do to correct this problem? I have no idea and I am not a whiz at computers! Do you have any idea what this is about and what must I do to correct it? Thanks for any help, I love your newsletter! Penny Dear Penny That sounds like a clash between Windows 7 and Hotmail. You will have to contact Microsoft about that. Windows 7 has problems recognizing a lot of popular email programs, even their own Hotmail. However, even though it whines and snivels, if you don't use Windows Live mail, the other email programs still work. It is quite safe to ignore the thilly sniveling. Have FUN! DearWebby
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After living in the remote wilderness of Texas all his life, Sam decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How 'bout that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered that Betty-Sue, his wife, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. Betty-Sue began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after Sam left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, Betty-Sue fumed, "So that's the ugly hussy he's runnin' around with! Just wait till he gets back from the fields!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Salt Pour Spout With Canning Jars When finished with an empty cardboard salt container, cut the whole round top piece off and measure to fit a canning jar ring. Trace and cut with the flat part with scissors to fit a pint canning jar. Fill the jar with sugar, then cut a second one from a second empty salt container for non-dairy coffee creamer. The pour spouts make for easy access to your sugar and creamer. *If desired, half pint jars can be used instead of pint jars. Source: my grandmother By Monica from Cortez, CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Today I overheard a young woman who was talking with an older woman, apparently her mother. "I haven't slept in three days," she complained. "The baby is teething and he's up all night crying." "Why don't you just wet a finger with some brandy or a sweet liqeur and rub it on his gums. That will numb them up and put him right to sleep." answered mom. "I can't give the baby alcohol! Lord knows what that will do to him." "Well, it never hurt you any." The look on her face was priceless.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
It took many hours, but they removed ALL of Tammy Faye Baker's make up,... and do you know what they found? Jimmy Hoffa!

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Registry Booster 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, July 22
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you, Richard!

Some asked me how Microsoft got away with paying just 7% tax.
Easy, by running most of their business trhough off-shore
tax havens like Puerto Rico, Singapore, Ireland, etc.

In addition to that, Windows 7 sales turned out to be as dismal 
as Vista, or worse. Actually, most of those "sales" are not
really honest sales to end users. Most of the time computer
manufacturers just have some sweet deal with Microsoft and
the end user only gets a non-transferable usage license tied
to a specific computer. Unlike previous versions, where 
you could for example buy XP and put it onto whatever machine
you wanted to, with Windows 7 you just paid for the limited
rights to use it on a specific machine, that you bought from 
DELL or Acer or HP.

In their advetising, though, Microsoft counts it as a sale.

In spite of all those tricky manipulations, most of Microsoft's
income this quarter came from Xbox and office software.
Will they learn and start to listen what people want?

No, of course not. Don't be silly!

They are frantically working on Windows 8 and they expect 
you to get ready to switch to tablet PCs next year. They say
change is good for you. 

Personally, I am glad that XP still works fine on large 
monitors, and I am in absolutely no hurry to change to small
tablets.

Have FUN!
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At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. --- Socratex The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers
The End Of The World When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it? USA Today: WE'RE DEAD The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS National Enquirer: SHEEP MISSING ALL OVER WORLD Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER Wired: THE LAST NEW THING Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR Readers Digest: BYE Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS? TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR! Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS. BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET! America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 100 YEARS Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE Microsoft's Web Site: IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE. IBM: ARMAGEDDON TOLERANT SOFTWARE NOW AVAILABLE! The New York Times: Proof that Bush policies caused global warming Boston Globe: STRONG N.E. WINDS PREDICTED Cuba Libre: AMERICA BLOWS UP WORLD Arizona Republic: Temperatures expected to hit 1016 F today.
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Q: How many believable, competent, "just-right-for-the-job" governor candidates does it take to change a light bulb? A: It's going to be a dark for a while, isn't it?
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carl Thomas, 63, Oklahoma City Wrong way to date OKLAHOMA CITY -- Oklahoma City police said a woman fought off a home intruder with a box fan and the intruder left behind a crucial piece of evidence -- his wallet. Police said a mother was asleep in her room early Tuesday morning along with her six children when she woke up to 63-year-old Carl Thomas climbing in the window above her bed. The homeowner told police she saw two arms reaching into her room and that's when she grabbed the fan next to her bed and hit Thomas in the back. When Oklahoma City Police arrived they found the intruder's clothing scattered on the ground next to the window where the break-in occurred. Police found a leather wallet inside the pocket of the shorts, and inside they found a man's identification card. While police were still investigating, they overheard the neighbor's dog barking and, with their flashlight, caught a glimpse of Thomas in white boxers and socks trying to jump a fence in the 400 block of NW 79th Street. Although Thomas tried to run, K-9 officer's tracked him down, according to the police report. Police said Thomas was bitten by the K-9 in the process and transported to the Hospital. The victim was able to identify him as the man who she had seen in her window. The woman told police Thomas had made several attempts to date her, but she refused each time. Thomas was booked into Jail and now faces burglary charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Linda Re: Registry Booster Dear Webby HELP this is the best part of your letter. I love it.and of course I have a problem, I hope you can help me. Somehow I have acquired a malware (uniblue registry booster)that my virus proctor missed. every time I open my computer it shows up on my desktop and I can not get rid of it.what can I do without calling a tech person who charge you to help. I'm on disability and a fixed income so it's hard to come up with extra money. there not cheap either. thank you for any help you can give me. Linda Dear Linda UniBlue Registry Booster is not malware, not at all! It is a tool, that cleans up your Registry, and that you or somebody in your family paid good money for. It is not a free tool. I would not advise to un-install it, even though that would be easy enough to do. Just keep in mind, that it performs a very valuable task, and let it do it's job. The new version of Registry Booster lets you specify, when it should do it's job, so that it does not interfere when you start up and are impatient to get to your email. In the meantime, just relax and let it clean up the mess Windows or users have made in the Registry. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A man entered a barbershop and said: "I am tired of looking like everyone else! I want a change! Part my hair from ear to ear!" "Are you sure?" "Yes! said the man. The barber did as he was told, and a satisfied customer left the shop. Three hours passed and the man reentered the shop. "Put it back the way it was," he said. "What's the matter?" said the barber. "Are you tired of being a nonconformist already?" "No," he replied, "I'm tired of people whispering to my nose!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Banana Peels And Tea Bags for Roses Give your rose bushes your used tea bags and banana peels. They will love you for it. Also hydrangeas will love the water from when you boil potatoes. You can also use the potato peels at the bottom of your plants. By tennis4two from Madison, IN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
There are more important things in life than money - but they won't go out with you if you're broke.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?" "You will never get through basic training," scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just staring at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed, EVERY morning?"

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Restore the "Show Desktop" icon 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 21

Remember 8 years ago, when the Hanoi Janes did everything 
they could to mess things up for the troops, just to put 
pressure on Bush? They even tried to divide and defeat the
"Wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!" effort,
by telling the sheeple to wear Democrat Blue on Fridays.

Looks like they are trying that again and forwarding the same
old emails all over. 
The answer is still the same: NO

As long as the poppies in Flanders' Fields are red,
it will be a spot of RED we use to show our support and 
respect for the troops, worldwide, no matter which government 
sent them in harm's way. A spot of red on Friday shows respect 
and support for all troops, fallen and surviving.

You can ask most vets, anywhere in the world, 
for a RED poppy or a bit of red for Friday.



If you need something blue, the Hanoi Jane Urinal Screens
are still qute popular.


Have FUN!
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Just think, if there was no such thing as marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no fault at all! --- Socratex A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. --- Socratex
Thanks to Rosa for this one: When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant,it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?" The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, "How much of a wait?" The woman looked up and said, "About ten minutes." A short time later, we heard an announcement over the loud- speaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Thanks to Deana for this one: When I went with my stepdaughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that the professors were the best in the world, and she recommended my stepdaughter apply early to improve her chances for admission. "We get so many applicants," she boasted, "because of the stature of the school." After the tour I asked our guide, "So, why did you choose this school?" "Oh," she replied matter-of-factly, "my boyfriend used to go here, and now he works at the McDonalds across the street. I can get a free ride to this University, but wold have to take the bus to the one on the other side of town."
Thanks to Larry for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan Letchford, 21, and Jeffrey Olsen, 22, Two drunks locked themselves inside police van RADNOR, Pa. (UPI) -- Police in Pennsylvania said they arrested two men who broke into a police van to take gag pictures and accidentally locked themselves inside the vehicle. Radnor police said Marlton, N.J., residents Ryan Letchford, 21, and Jeffrey Olsen, 22, left a party early Saturday and entered Constable Mike Connor's van, which had been in the parking lot of the condominium where the party was located, the Philadelphia Daily News reported Monday. Investigators said Letchford and Olsen, who are believed to have entered the van to take gag pictures of themselves being arrested, got locked in. Police said a friend found them in the van after they failed to return to the party and called 911 because he was unable to free them. Police contacted Connor, who said he must have left a door unlocked because there was no sign of forced entry. "I came down and unlocked the doors, and 'Dumb and Dumber' pranced out of the van," Connor said. "They looked a little embarrassed." Connor said the men had been smoking cigarettes and spitting while inside the vehicle. Cigarette butts and "a large amount of saliva" were in the van, police said. Letchford and Olsen were arrested and charged with attempted theft of a motor vehicle, public drunkenness and criminal mischief.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Laura Re: Restore the "Show Desktop" icon Dear Webby My mom had some misadventure with her computer and lost a bunch of stuff and files. Most of them she has since restored, although many files were not recovered (no backup!). Somehow she had also deleted her quick launch bar. I restored that the other day, but the button for "Show Desktop" is not there. How do I get that back for her? She has Windows 7. Thanks, Laura Dear Laura The easiest way to show the desktop is to hit the Windows key and D The alternative is a very cumbersome rigamarole that you can find if you click on the desktop, hit F1 and search for "How to Re-create the Show Desktop Icon on Quick Launch Toolbar" Much easier to just take a fine line indelible felt pen and write + D onto the Windows key to remind her how to show the desktop. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Wayne, a friend of mine, owns an auto-repair business. One day a woman called to inquire when he could work on her car. "I'm not busy now," he replied. "bring it right in." A short time later, the woman pulled into the service bay, stopping her small car perfectly over the wide, deep grease pit. "Wow!" Remarked Wayne. "That's great driving. Your wheels only have a couple of inches to spare on each side of the pit." She looked blankly at him and asked, "What pit?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Straws for Flower Arrangements Short-stemmed flowers or curvy stems are hard to put in a floral arrangement. What I do is cut the stem under cold water and at an angle with sharp scissors. Next, put the stem into a plastic drinking straw and put into your own custom arrangement. VOILA! I save straws. Silly, I know, but I use the skinny ones for thin stemmed flowers and the thicker straws for fatter stemmed flowers and it works. By rythumrat from St. Louis, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age) sent out an invitation to an officer (who was supposed to be the prospective suitor of her daughter's hand). "Mr. and Mrs. Dabney request the pleasure of Captain Black's company at dinner on the 26th of July." She was somewhat dismayed to receive this enthusiastic reply: "With the exception of four men on leave, and two sick, Captain Black's company accept with much pleasure your invitation to dinner on the 26th of July. There are 64 of us, that will show up. "
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: "If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down. We need a fancy $10 name."

» Great Balls of Fire Nyiragongo Crater






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Help! 

My clothes are too tight!

There are two possible explanations:

Number 1: I'm eating too much.

Number 2: Beings from the planet Zartron are shooting me with rays that shrink fabrics.

The right explanation will be decided by a vote.




Polling Closed

The answer is in:

Number 2 by a landslide!






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ZZZZZT! 

Ramona said, "My, but you look different today,"
to Marianne, a coworker at the hospital.
"Your hair is extra curly, and you have this wide-eyed look.
What did you use - special curlers and some dramatic eye makeup?"

"No," replied Marianne.
"My vibrator shorted out this morning."




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Skype File transfer destination 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, July 20

What is the best email address?
Obviously, the best would be boss@.com,
and nobody, except you, deciding what gets censored or trashed.

The opposite of that, the absolute worst addresses, would 
be a yahoo or juno.com or carter.net or hotmail.com address, 
with everybody else deciding, what the sheep should be allowed
to see, and what should be dumped, before they see it.

Naturally, boss@.com is not totally free. It costs 
you only about 1/10th of what a custom license plate costs, but 
that is not free. In addition to that, some smartie might have
registered .com already, and you are as out of luck
as Nissan Motors is. A computer store in NorthCarolina registered 
Nissan.com long before Datsun changed to Nissan. With domain
names it is strictly first come, first serve, and keep.

That is no reason to despair. I can usually find a suitable, 
often even better name.

The free alternative is Gmail. Gmail has no customer service.
Forget about asking for help. You have to read the instructions
yourself or ask somebody, who has read them. Since Gmail
works very well, very reliable, and very predictable, that is
not really a problem.

A major PLUS point of Gmail is that you can easily make 
filters, that will keep mail safely out of the spam folder, no
matter what is discussed in that email.

If you are a victim of Yahoo, Juno, Carter or Hotmail, I would
recommend that you get a Gmail address as soon as possible.

With Gmail user names it's the same story as with domain 
names. If somebody else  was faster than you and grabbed 
 already, you'll have to think of something else.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
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"My vision is to make the most diverse state on earth, and we have people from every planet on the earth in this state." --- G. Davis, Governor of Mexifornia Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. --- Evan Esar If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. --- Marcus Bridgstocke
I know these numbers are way out of date, and hopefuly one of you can update them for me. In the meantime, this classic is still funny: WHY I AM SO TIRED I'm tired. For a couple of years I've been blaming it on my iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins and dieting, and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason I'm tired is because I'm overworked. The population of the USA is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work. Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work. Take from that total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city governments and that leaves 200,000 to do the work. There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work. Now, there are 11,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting there reading jokes!
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry...we still have one engine left." Nancy turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here forever!!"
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Barn Swallows
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brandon Jelks. 20, in Indianapolis, Indiana Perv at Walmart n Indiana man was arrested yesterday after he was caught masturbating in a stall inside the women’s room of a Walmart in Indianapolis. The suspect, Brandon Jelks, was first spotted by female shoppers who heard moans “and sounds of someone” masturbating emanating from the stall. One witness went into the adjoining stall to look under the divider, and reported seeing “a pair of blue patterned boxers around the ankles of what appeared to be a man’s shoes." An off-duty cop working security at the store was then summoned. When the cop confronted a startled Jelks, 20, as he exited the stall (“with his pants unzipped”), he claimed to have accidentally gone into the wrong bathroom. Jelks was handcuffed and brought to the loss prevention office where a search turned up two boxes of condoms that had been shoplifted from the store, according to an Indianapolis Police Department report. Jelks explained that he had used two of the condoms while pleasuring himself in the women’s bathroom. While being detained, he also reportedly told a Walmart official that he “had a sex problem” and went into the bathroom “to look at the women” while masturbating. While he was doing this, Jelks noted, he was looking at pornography on his cell phone. The multitasking pervert--who explained that he “needed” to spy on the bathroom occupants to “arouse” himself--was charged with i ndecent exposure and criminal trespass. Jelks was booked into the Marion County jail, where he remains in custody.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Allison Re: File transfer destination in Skype Dear Webby Did you know that on the forums at Skype nobody knew how to change the font size? I have been searching for an answer to that for quite some time, but all those snooty advisors don't seem to have a clue. I should have asked you right away. At one time I was able to set the file transfer destination and I set it to my remote USB drive. That has worked ine for many years, but now I want to set it to my second USB drive, but can't find that option. Is that gone, or did they just klutz it so deep down into some sub menu, that one needs a map and a GPS to find it? Allison Dear Allison That option is still there, but somebody does not like users, and hid it 15 levels down in the menu dungeon. There are actually two ways to get to it: ALT T, O then hit the DOWN Arrow 14 times while ignoring the mess you see on the way, and you will have that option on the bottom. The other way is with the mouse: Tools Options Advanced IM & SMS IM Settings Save Files To Change Folder Have FUN! DearWebby
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The Accident Report Here follows a tale of an accident report form filed by a bricklayer: "I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You ask for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I was working alone on the roof of a six-story building. When I completed my work I found I had some bricks left over which later were found to weigh 240lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135lbs.

Needless to say i proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor I met the barrel which was proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep in to the pulley. Fortunately I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly on to the rope. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel . Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when i fell onto the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay in pain on the pile of bricks I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope, and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its rapid descent back down towards me."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Straws for Flower Arrangements Short-stemmed flowers or curvy stems are hard to put in a floral arrangement. What I do is cut the stem under cold water and at an angle with sharp scissors. Next, put the stem into a plastic drinking straw and put into your own custom arrangement. VOILA! I save straws. Silly, I know, but I use the skinny ones for thin stemmed flowers and the thicker straws for fatter stemmed flowers and it works. By rythumrat from St. Louis, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
In a recent survey, 60 percent of respondents said the cities where they live are noisier now than they were five years ago. The other 40 percent didn't hear the question.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
THE SECRETS OF WOMENS LANGUAGE Keywords and their meanings. 1. FINE This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up for now. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. 2. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football/hockey or whatever game is going to last before you take out the trash, so she feels that it's an even trade. 3. NOTHING This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards, prior to setting you on fire. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". 4. GO AHEAD (with Raised Eyebrows) This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and eventually cause an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". 5. GO AHEAD (without raised eyebrows) This means "I give up. Do what you want because I don't care." You will, however, get a Raised Eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing", and a "Five Minute" argument ending with "Fine". 6. LOUD SIGH Not actually a word of course, but often a verbal cue misunderstood by men. The "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there having a "Five Minute" argument with you over "Nothing". 7. SOFT SIGH One of the few sounds that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe. Just stay clear.

» Chromium






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Another Use For Duct Tape 


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How to change font and size in Skype? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 19

Thanks Richard!
Thanks Millie!
I sure do appreciate your donations!

Lately there has been a lot of complaining about Skype. 
The rash of forced updates since mycrsoft bought it for an
estimated 32 years worth of income from it, just to keep it
out of the hands of Cisco and Google, did not impress 
anybody. It worked, so why mess with it, especially when the
messing does not produce any visible improvement?

Skype IS handy, and it already does about 80% of what 
PowWow used to do 15 years ago on 486 machines with 
20 MB of RAM, but like most people, I wish they stopped
the updates without noticable changes or explanation, and
left it alone until they figured out how to run it on as little
memory or processing power as Google Chat.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. --- Rita Mae Brown Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions. --- G. K. Chesterton If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. --- Peter Ustinov
A famed explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast."
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

This is a story about four people named: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it! It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done!
BAR CODE- The fightin' rules down at the local tavern. CACHE- What you need when you run out of food stamps. CHIPS- Pasture muffins you try NOT to step in. DISKETTE- Female disco dancer. HACKER- Uncle LeRoy after 32 years of smokin'. HARDCOPY- Picture looked at when pickin' out a tattoo. INTERNET- Where cafeteria workers put their hair. KEYBOARD- Where you hang the keys to the John Deere. MEGAHERTZ- How your head feels after too many beers. MODEM- What you did when the weeds got too tall. NETWORK- Scoopin' up a big fish before it breaks the line. ONLINE- Where to stay when takin' a sobriety test. ROM- Where the Pope lives. SERIAL PORT- A red wine you drink for breakfast. SUPERCONDUCTOR- AmTrak's employee of the year. VIRUS - what gives you the sniffles ANTI-VIRUS PROGRAM - a jug of moonshine every day
Click through the picture to the large version. Alsace
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Yukari Mihamae, 61, from Longmont, Colorado Woman Groped TSA Agent's Breast PHOENIX - We hear a lot of complaints about security screeners groping airline passengers. But now, a Colorado woman is accused of putting her hands on a TSA agent at Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix. Court records show 61-year-old Yukari Mihamae grabbed the left breast of the female agent Thursday at the Terminal 4 checkpoint. Police say she squeezed and twisted the agent's breast with both hands. Officers say Mihamae admitted to the crime. There's no word why she touched the agent. Mihamae now faces a felony count of sexual abuse. She was released from jail on Friday morning. According to court records, she lives in Longmont, Colorado and is self-employed.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: Change font and size in Skype Dear Webby How do you change the font and size in Skype? Since Microslop bought it and forced a bunch of unwanted updates, the fonts have shrunk and can't be fixed. Considering that it is just a re-warmed partial copy of PowWow, that we used in the early and mid 90's, that is kinda pathetic. Hopefully you can figger it out! Thanks Dianne Dear Dianne I agree, PowWow was great, and was way more advanced 15 years ago than Skype is now. It is too bad that, when ICQ came out of Israel with far superior marketing, PowWow lost out. By the way, ICQ was bought by AOL in the late 90's and sold to the Russian Mail.RU group last April. But I digress. You can NOT change font colors and backgrounds in Skype like you did with PowWow, no matter what you do. Forget high energy or easy reading color combos. Forget romantic color combos too! The Skype software was written by three guys in Estonia. Apparently they don't do that sorta thing in Estonia. However, you CAN change the font face and font size, if you follow this rignarole: Tools Options IM & Sms IM Appearance Change font Have FUN! DearWebby
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Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther and farther away from the truck."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Spray Inside of Tin Foil When Baking Before you cover your baking items with foil, spray the side of the foil that touches the food with non-stick cooking spray. No more sticking to the foil and no more ruining your pretty dish. By cschatz from Springville, AL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Did you ever look at the price of that cooking spray, and figure out how much you pay per gram or ounce? Totally ridiculous! I use an ancient spray bottle, I think it originally was an Amway mix and spray bottle in the 80's, and put regular olive oil into it. As long as it is kept reasonably warm on a top shelf, that old sprayer produces a nice and even mist, that works just as well as any of that expensive non-stick spray. Whenever an oil bottle is almost empty, I dump it into my sprayer. Just experiment with cleaned out pistol-grip sprayers, until you find a keeper, that does well with oil, and label or paint it, so that nobody uses it for cleaning purposes. Olive oil makes vinyl floors awfully slippery! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Gale for this one: During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did. When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. That night, Tom slept well and in fact beat, the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's fine" said the boss, "But where were you Friday and Monday?"

» Chromium






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Eye Contact…… 

Sometimes it's difficult to look someone in the eye when you're talking to them



I think in her case it's because she's squinting

Yupp! I'm sure it's the squinting!



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What is a Chip Reader ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 18

Thanks Cathi!
Thanks Neil!

Quite a few people asked me about Casey Jones. They had 
heard the name, but never been told the legend or the 
significance. So, before putting my foot further into my mouth,
I decided to read up a bit.

It turns out I was wrong. Even though most of the roughly 
hundred different versions of the Casey Jones Ballad had been
sung by black blues singers, Casey Jones was actually not black.

Casey Jones was a hot rodder and had a reputation for arriving
on time, even when he was forced to leave late. In 1900 he was
the engineer on the fast Chicago to New Orleans Night Mail
Cannonball Express, and had to make up a lot of time. He pushed
that train to near 100 miles per hour, which was quite something, 
considering the crooked track and just a single steam engine
pulling the train.

He had almost made up all the late departure times when he got to
Vaughan, Mississippi, where four cars of a freight train were
stuck on his line, and inadequate signalling did not give him 
enough time to stop his train. He dumped the air and locked 
the brakes, and told his fireman to jump, but he himself stayed
on, holding on to the whistle. That long, uninterrupted whistle
saved all the passengers. None were killed or seriously hurt,
but Casey Jones did not survive the crash, when his big 
locomotive was thrown off the track.

Here is a record from 1910:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6N7rkNS ... re=related

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. --- Paul Valery
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Dentist: "Would you help me out? Can you to give me a few of your loudest screams." Patient: "Why, Doc? It isn't all that bad this time." Dentist: "Well, there are about 20 people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the five o'clock game on Channel 4."
The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. (This joke is from the days, when aeroplanes had steps! ) The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats. The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane taxied toward the runway. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," a voice intoned. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerized airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back and relax. Nothing can go wrong ... Nothing can go wrong... nothing can go wrong...."
Click through the picture to the large version. Paris
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Billy Rutherford,23 in Decatur, Ill Groom arrested for not staying away from bride DECATUR, Ill. -- Something came between a central Illinois couple as they waited to marry -- a court order forbidding the groom from contact with the bride. The (Decatur) Herald & Review reports that 23-year-old Billy Rutherford was arrested Wednesday for allegedly violating the terms of his bail as he and his fiancée waited outside a Macon County courtroom to get married. Rutherford was free on bond after being charged in March with aggravated domestic battery. His fiancée, who cannot be named, had claimed that Rutherford 'had been beating on her all day' at her home on March 5. She told police that the assault included striking her all over her face, head and body, shoving her head into a kitchen cabinet and throwing her through a coffee table. Rutherford was ordered to stay away from her and was arrested later in March for allegedly violating the order, when she moved in with him again. The couple, who it seems had reconciled, were due to get married at Macon County courtroom on Wednesday. They had planned to be married by Circuit Judge Thomas Griffith, who had represented both the bride and the groom in separate cases in the past, when he was an attorney, and knew about the restraining order. For the arrest, the white gowned bride was called outside, and without her to protect him, Rutherford was then arrested without any problem. Bail was denied, when she tried to bail him out.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellie Re: What is a Chip Reader Dear Webby What is that SD Card / Chip Reader, that you mentioned yesterday? Thanks Ellie Dear Ellie The memory chips, that most cameras use nowadays, are either stamp size SD or a quarter of a stamp size Micro SD chips. They are thin, flat pastic chips with mysterious indentations and grooves, so that they can't be inserted incorrectly. There are two, actually three, types of readers / writers for them: 1) Corded, 2) Built into a USB Plug, and 3) Built into a computer. Ignore #2 and #3. They are a nuisance, and only good for people, who like crawling around under their desk. #1, the corded type, is a cute little box with a long USB cord, so that you can mount the box wherever is most convenient, and plug the cord into the computer just once and forget it after that. The corded type costs around $7. You can glue the reader to the side of the monitor or keyboard or hutch top or just about anything except your coffee cup. To read a chip, you stick it into the slot on the tiny little box, and the chip shows up as an additional drive. Usually you get a little pop-up window asking you what you want to do with ot. Then you can drag files to and from it, run programs from it, do whatever you can do with a built in hard drive. Chips are available in sizes from 256 MB to 64GB. Currently. By Christmas, they will have 128 GB chips. Don't expect 64 GB chips to work in old readers or older cameras. The 2 GB chips are the pick-up trucks of the computer world. They work in any reader and in any camera and probably any device, that can use chips. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Distressed Jeans Ripped denim short shorts and distressed, artistically ripped denim jeans are all the fashion. This is the perfect chance to either get you or a teenager you know into DIY! Just look for the pictures on the net, then reproduce at home for a lot less. By pamphyila from CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ My jeans do that on their own. I'll trade you mine for new ones. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say 'babies'. She was disappointed when Little Johnny cried out, "Happy!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a different flight..... During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in one of the air sickness bags. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" Without thinking, I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for later."

» Chromium






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GW Fallout 

National Post · Jul. 16, 2011

Ethanol's wasteful appetite for grain

Re: Camps Overflow as Somalis Flee Famine, Peter Goodspeed, July 12.

As the number of people starving gets into the hundreds of thousands, Canadians should be reminded that 6.5% of the world's grain has been removed from the global food supply as feedstock for ethanol production for carbon credits in accordance with the dictates of the Kyoto Accord.

Of the 85 billion litres of ethanol produced globally for fuel, Canada's two billion litre annual ethanol production alone removes enough wheat and corn from the global food supply to feed over 30 million people -enough food to end the current starvation in Africa 10 times over.

The next time you fill up at a pump stating: "may contain up to 10% ethanol," know full well that your tank of gas has taken away the daily bread of over 20 starving poor because the self-righteous environmentalist lobby has convinced governments that this is a necessary consequence of saving the world from "global warming."

Norm Kalmanovitch, Calgary.



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USB Hub 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, July 17

Thanks Aletta!!!!
Thanks, Gordon!
I sure do appreciate your help!
You sure turned a terrible and hopeless day around!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

"In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current." --- Thomas Jefferson
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son!" Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried, "Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours before he did!"
Sign: "Bored Room" Boss to painter: "I don't care what my staff told you, it's spelled board."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to dopes all over the net. Victim, not bonehead Dopes lash out at wrong Casey Anthonys Casey Anthony has been bombarded with hate e-mails and threats over the past week. Animosity may be expected for the 25-year-old white mother found not guilty last week of killing her 2-year-old daughter, but this is another Casey Anthony, who wasn’t expecting all of this attention. This is Casey Anthony, a 43-year-old Black male in Darby, Pennsylvania. He says that he has been bombarded on Facebook with over 300 friend requests, messages and posts. People have commented about the verdict and have sent threatening posts, that he says that he’s had to clarify. “Im sitting back like excuse me, I'm not the Casey Anthony you think," he tells the radio station. Anthony has spent hours deleting the posts because he does not want his children to see the negative and hateful comments. Unfortunately, Anthony’s misery is not exclusive. Two of his sons also share the name Casey Anthony, named after Casey Jones, the heroic black railroad engineer from Jackson, Tennessee. You probably remember the chorus of the Legend of Casey Jones: Casey Jones, he died at the throttle, Casey Jones, with the whistle in his hand. Casey Jones, he died at the throttle, But we'll all see Casey in the promised land. Remember, the legend of Casey Jones will live on long after everybody has forgotten the bimbo in Florida, who got off easier than most people figured she should, and who probably changed her name the moment she got out of jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: USB Hub Dear Webby I love the Air Force joke today as well as the others. I really like the leopards too. Just wish it was brighter more day like pic so I could save it as my desktop pic. I have question having to do w/ flash drives. I want to do some price comparisons for getting a usb extension cable my port is on the bottom of the pc & it sits down on the bottom of my pc desk which had a hutch attached to it & it's hard to reach it). I can get down to it but getting back up is hard as I have a bad ankle. I keep my camera usb cable attached so I can just transfer pics & not have to get up & down. I did see a 4 hub cable on my Cloudeight newsletter that I am subscribed to for $20.00. Do you have any suggestions as to where else I can price shop? I also want to price the flash drives. What I am comparing is the cost of replacing my cdrw drive {which is not working right & looks like it needs to be replaced} or going w/ flash. If I go to flash- how hard will it be to transfer pics from my pc to them? I was shown quickly how do it but don't have one to practice on. Right now I have my pcs on disk . I have a folder titled gospel sing (eg) . Then inside that folder I have a sub folders dated for the year such as 2010, 2011 etc. Then inside that folder are folders sorted by month. It makes it easier for me to find them later if need be. Can this be done w/ flash drives? I really need to be cost conscientious say this time so I could use any places to shop & compare other than Ebay. I really do appreciate your time & for sharing & your time to help. You've helped a lot of us. Good luck w/ your car. I'll be keeping that situation in prayer. Sharon Dear Sharon A 4 port USB hub with cable is under $7 "Flash Drives" are obsolete. Nowadays you just use a cheap Memory Card reader for $9 or a memory card reader - USB hub combo for $12, and 2Gb or 4 GB SD camera memory chips for $12 - $14 Sometimes you can get really insane deals on SD camera memory cards, like a Sony 16 GB for $32, and sometimes stores sell them for $5, as long as you come into the store on Tuesday, just like grocery stores sell coffee or toilet paper for a great bargain on that day, when they crank up the prices on everything else. Personally, I stick with 2 GB cards. They work on anything without any hassle. Cards above 2 GB sometimes require special drivers or readers. SD camera memory chips are really easy to use. When you stick a chip into the reader, it shows up as if it was an additional hard drive, and you can drag stuff to and from it. You can make folders to your heart's content. The most technical part about them is putting a sticker on it to identify it, or use a fine point Nissen Metal Marker to write onto it. You can get those at Nissen The SD cards are about the size of a stamp, and usually dark plastic. A bright yellow or white fine line paint marker works best. Those also work very well for marking worn out letters on your keyboard. If your sources won't come down in price and insist on $20 for a $7 USB Hub, let me know, and I'll look up a better dealer and parts numbers for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
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An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?" "Yes," said Sam , "I plainly saw him take the goods." The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?" "Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it." Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?" Sam says, "Maybe you can't, but I can see the moon, how far is that?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Seafood Odors from Your Hands After eating blue crabs, our hands always smell bad even after several washings. We use cider vinegar on the claw meat, so when we are finished eating, we pour what is left from the little bowl over our hands and rub it like we are washing up. I'm sure vinegar would also help remove other odors due to handling. By Jayme from Harrisonburg, VA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nineteen single ladies, twelve widows, three widowers, and two single men stepped to the front.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
What's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong," the second woman answered. "First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but to make matters worse, I ended up catching three times more fish than he did!"

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WTF? 

Sexiest Beach Babe Ever

Be warned. The following image you are about to see can be devastating to your eyes.

If you can explain this phenomenon... we will all bow down to praise your bravery for blinding yourself and your intelligence for cracking something THIS hard to understand.



If you can explain this... then it really says something about you.



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Best way to clean a laptop screen 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, July 16

Got the call from the mechanic today: $850
OUCH! Guess I will be walking for the foreseeable future.
That is definitely not in the budget.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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No good deed goes unpunished. --- Clare Booth Luce NOW you tell me! Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. --- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love This is like deja vu all over again. --- Yogi Berra
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

A man from Edinburgh wrote to an English editor, "If you don't stop printing those derogatory Scottish jokes, most of which imply we're cheap, I'm going to quit stealing your stupid newspaper."
Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse. Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shireen Nalley Thanks to Helen for sending the info. Dopey Oklahoman tries to kill store worker, that she believes is Casey Anthony CHOUTEAU, Oklahoma -- An Oklahoma woman believes outrage over the Florida murder case almost cost her her life. The 26-year-old says a crazed woman tried to kill her because the woman thought she was Casey Anthony. It happened in Chouteau last Friday night, July 8, 2011, just days after the Casey Anthony verdict, while Casey Anthony was still in jail. "You look like Casey Anthony!" Shireen Nalley proclaimed. Blackwell works at a convenience store in Chouteau and said Shireen Nalley came in that night around 10 p.m. and looked strange, very suspicious, then left after buying gas. She got off work at 10:30 that night and walked out to her truck, which was parked on the other side of the building, and got inside. "Began to back out and looked and I could tell Shireen Nalley was staring directly at me; I could almost see the whites of her eyes," she recalled. "I proceeded to pull out of the parking lot, and she was right behind me," Sammay said. Blackwell drove a few miles and says Nalley suddenly rammed her van into the back of Blackwell's truck. "I said, 'Oh my God, help me,'" Blackwell told News On 6. She then pulled into a parking lot to get away. "She hit me again, causing my truck to flip two and a half times, landing on the driver's side, and I just laid there playing dead," she said. Blackwell's mother says she'll never forget her daughter's reaction. "I got to her, she was crying, she was shaking, she says, 'Mama, this lady thinks I'm Casey Anthony and she tried to kill me," her mother said. Police chased Shireen Nalley for a while and finally arrested her for assault and battery with a deadly weapon. Shireen Nalley told police she was "trying to save the children." "She said that I was trying to hurt babies, I was killing babies and she was going to stop it before it happened again," Blackwell recalled. "She could have taken me away from my family, my daughter." Blackwell's daughter is also named Caylee -- the only thing Sammay said she has in common with Casey Anthony. "I don't look like her, so what about people who actually do look like her and live closer to Florida, instead of Oklahoma, what's going to happen to those people?" she said. Shireen Nalley is now in the Mayes County Jail on complaints of assault and battery with a deadly weapon, leaving the scene of a vehicle collision, resisting arrest and reckless driving. She is being held on a $25,000 bond. Police say Nalley seemed to be on drugs when they arrested her, however, there is no DUI listed. Sammay Blackwell wants to get a restraining order against Nalley. Blackwell also says she's struggling with Nalley's car insurance right now and claims the company won't cover the damage if Nalley hit her on purpose.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Gretta Re: How to clean laptop screen? Dear Webby When I got my laptop, it came with some dry cleaning cloths and instructions to always use those special dry cleaning cloths for the screen. I would never do that with my glasses or camera lenses, so I hesitate to try that on a screen. What do you sugest? Gretta Dear Gretta I would toss those dry cleaning sheets into the garbage. They just dull and damage the screeen, and force you to buy a new one sooner. Just use regular Windex or equivalent, and a rag from a well washed, old t-shirt or recently washed microfiber cloth. Mist the screen with the Windex, gently wipe it clean. Mist it again, turn the rag and wipe it clean again. That's all there is to it. Just like with your glasses or camera lenses, NEVER wipe it when there is dry and gritty dust on it. Windex will get between the grit and the screen and make it stick to the rag. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited. As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them. The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself. He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?" The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!" The general turns to his aide and says, "Sign him up -- all the paper work done, everything, do it today!" The aide hustles the young man off. The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills can you bring to the Air Force?" The young man says, "I chop wood!" "Son," the general replies, "we don't need woodchoppers in the Air Force. What else do you know how to do?" "I chop wood!" "Young man," huffs the general, "you are not listening to me. We don't need woodchoppers; this is the 21st century!" "Well," the young man says, "you hired my brother!" "Of course we did," says the general, "But he's a pilot!" The young man rolls his eyes and says, "I HAVE to chop it before he can pile it!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses for Newspaper Plastic Bags If you get a daily newspaper delivered to you in long, narrow plastic bags, you can recycle them in a number of ways. They are great for holding shoes when traveling, so that the clothing in your suitcase doesn't get dirty. Each bag can hold one shoe or a pair of smaller footwear, such as flip flops. I also store several of these bags in a large used plastic cup with a lid (think recycled fast food soda cup that you have washed) and that sits in my car in the cup holder. They are great to use as small trash bags. I also store my kitty litter scoop in one, so that anything stuck to the scoop ends up in the bag and not in the bottom of my cabinet. By ginnywest from Murrells Inlet, SC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
How to clean the toilet: 1. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and put both lids up. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid.) The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. (Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.) 4. Flush the toilet three or four times. (This provides a " power-wash" and "rinse".) 5. Have someone open the door to the outside (Be sure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.) 6. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. 7. The now clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself off. The toilet will be sparkling clean! Sincerely, The Dog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Bill for this story: When I picked up Amy from school the other day, she was walking with a friend. I didn't catch their entire conversation, but she was in the process of pointing out me to her friend and explaining who I was. She said, "That's my dad. He wants me to have things that he never had as a boy. Like, all 'A's' on a report card."

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DOS icon for Windows 7 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, July 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you Leonard!

Re the advice from so many, that I should get car parts 
from a junkyard: There was no luck there. My car, a 1991 
Chrysler LeBaron was never really that popular, probably
because people didn't know how to pronounce the name properly.
The ones, that were produced, are mostly still on the road,
because they were well made and quite sturdy, and because
people, who prefer sharp lines over "fashionable" dough-boy 
design, hang on to them. 

I got it years ago when my previous car blew the engine and I
was looking for a rental, to tide me over until I could find 
something affordable. The rental place was closed, but the
used car lot next door had this LeBaron, priced for a very
quick sale. Here is a picture from 3 - 4 years ago:


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"I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you're single you're as happy as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the apartment." ---Tom Hertz "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government." --- Edward Abbey
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of Bud and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia the other is in Dublin, and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church in Sweetwater and I had to quit drinking.. . . Hasn't affected my brothers though."
Thanks to mary for this story: I began thinking about my own mortality after I became a widow. One day my daughter called home from college, and I announced to her, "I think it's time for us to talk about where I would like to be buried." "It's way too soon to even think of anything like that," she snapped indignantly. Then there was a brief silence. "Wait a minute, did you say married or buried?" When I repeated buried, she said, "Oh, okay, sure."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Heather Query, 21, in Indianapolis, Indiana Mom Left Kids In Hot Car, Beat Good Samaritan INDIANAPOLIS -- An Indianapolis mother has been arrested, accused of leaving her children in a hot car and then beating a woman who stepped in to help, police said. Heather Elliott told officers she saw two boys, ages 4 and 1, unattended inside a vehicle with the windows rolled up in the parking lot of the Kroger store at 1330 W. Southport Road on Monday evening. Elliott said the 4-year-old boy was crying hysterically. "He was pushing up against the window, just screaming bloody murder, just screaming, his face all red," Elliott said. When she approached the children's mother, Heather Query, 21, as she exited the store, Elliott said Query began yelling at her, telling her it was none of her business, and then punched her in the face. "She just slammed me right in the face, and I was just trying to push her away, and she just kept going and going," Elliott said. Police were called, and Query was arrested on preliminary charges of neglect of a dependent and battery. Police said it was 88 degrees outside with a heat index of 97 degrees at the time, and well over 100 in vehicles. As Query was arrested, Elliott said the mother had some parting words for her. "She said, 'I hope you're happy with yourself and you can live with yourself, because I'm going to lose my job and my kids,'" Elliott said. "I said, 'Good. I can live with myself because I just saved your kids.'" Query's children were released to their father.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Britta Re: No more DOS in W7 ? Dear Webby I held on to Windows 98 as long as I could, but finally had to switch to Windows 7 with this laptop. Where is the DOS icon ? Are those rumors that XP doesn't have DOS any more true? I'll be lost without my bats!!! Britta Dear Britta Relax! DOS is alive and well in the basement of Windows 7. Windows 7 has a totally different philosophy behind it. Part of it is based on French tanks (15 speeds in reverse and one forward, just in case the enemy attacks from the rear) The rest of it is based on that joke of the gynecologist who became a car mechanic and fixed an engine by doing all the work by reaching into it through the muffler. If you can grasp those two concepts simultaneously, then you truly understand Windows 7. That is why you can't set the explorer to go straight to the C: drive but have to slither towards that by devious routes. To get a DOS icon, use a plain text editor and make a bat with these three lines in it: @echo off cmd /T:9e including an empty line below the cmd. Save it as dos7.bat and make a desktop shortcut to it. When you click that shortcut, you get a DOS window with the prompt in your bats directory. It's in a bland grey on black, but you can change that right from the bat: @echo off cmd /T:9e gets you a high energy combo of yellow text on bright blue. If you right-click on the top bar, you can set your defaults. Right-clicking on the top bar also lets you get to Edit Mark Copy / Edit Paste. From the DOS command line, you can do many of those things, that Windows 7 won't allow you to do. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. "It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly . . ." "This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my sister will appreciate it." "Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Onion Bags as Bird Feeder I save my mesh bags from onions and other vegetables all summer. Then in winter I use them to put out suet or meat scraps for the birds. They work very well. By Wilma from Rose City, MI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back to the top of the gangplank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine. After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed. "Thirty dollars, Ma'am," he answered. "Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with you Maine people, you're always trying to overcharge summer visitors. Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not here to be gypped out of our hard earned money?" "In Winter we raise porcupines, Ma'am."

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Where do you get the "OpenTabs" add-on ? 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 14

Thanks to dedicated scrimping and saving I thought I was
going to be able to pay the phone bill on time, for a change.

My car must have been listening.

The cooling system had been a bit erratic for some time,
but I thought I could baby it through the summer, and in winter
it won't overheat if I drive gently and keep the heater
running. Well, that dream was not to be.

With a dead waterpump and a stuck thermostat and a bad 
belt idler and slipping belt, it split the radiator.
$800 total cost. 

I used to fix the brass and copper radiators, but aluminum 
and plastic radiators are made to be not repairable. 
And the mechanic, who replaces the parts, gets $80 per
hour. 

I am going to have to ask him to take me on as a helper,
at least until the car bill is paid.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. --- Oscar Levant
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Two-year-old Paige was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"
A minister, a priest and a rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Those of my faith," said the minister, "believe that life starts when the heart begins to beat." "We take a different view," said the priest. "We believe life starts at the moment of conception." "Well," said the rabbi, "it is our belief that life starts when the kids move out."
I believe the flower in the photo yesterdya was a member of the Kalanchoe family. Thanks for all the good clean Humor you provide each day. I look forward to your humor and advice each morning. Wishing you continued good health. Libby Thanks to Verna from Beechy in Saskatchewan for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Mecklenborg, 59, State Rep, Ohio Anti-abortion legislator's embarrassing night out Rabid Anti-abortion campaigner Robert Mecklenborg, 59, in Ohio, known for ranting about how women should not have the right to endanger the unborn, endangered a 26 year old woman,who was not his wife or relative, when he was driving drunk, with her at his side. In a way, this isn't exactly breaking news. The events in question happened more than two months ago. However, blogs and news outlets -- and reportedly the House Republican leadership -- found out only now. On Saturday, April 23 -- in the wee hours of the morning after Good Friday -- an Indiana state trooper pulled over Mecklenborg, who was driving in Dearborn County, with temporary Kentucky license plates. The officer stated in his report that he stopped Mecklenborg for a burned-out headlight, but then suspected he was intoxicated after he smelled alcohol and noticed the state rep's "glossy, bloodshot eyes." Mecklenborg refused a chemical test, and then failed three field sobriety tests. After a blood test, he was charged with drunken driving. The 59-year-old married father of three also tested positive for Viagra. Mecklenborg was not alone that evening. His passenger was a 26-year-old woman, an escort from "Concepts" in Indiana, who is neither his wife nor one of his 3 children. In his incident report, the police officer noted that Mecklenborg's inebriated state "endangered a person."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jorge Re: Where do you get "Opentabs" Dear Webby, since I received such great advice last time, I will ask another one....I heard that even reformatiing your hard drive will still leave stuff on your puter, so what free program have you heard about that will erase everything? Does this even apply, or will reformatting work just fine? Thanks in advance! Cass Dear Jorge Looks like now it is called "Save My Tabs" but it still saves them opentabs-Machine-date-time.txt files, like opentabs-WEBBY2-20110713-2133.txt That file has the open tabs from machine WEBBY2 on July 13 / 2011 at 21:33 You can specify the destination and the auto-save frequency. It is quite civilized! You can download and install it from http://snipurl.com/savemytabs or from my tool box at http://webby.com/tools Have FUN! DearWebby
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A woman was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 yr. old son, Little Johnny. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of car's flying down the road she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?" Little Johnny piped up from the back seat, "I do! Because you couldn't catch the fast cars!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Quilt From Old Sweatshirts Sweatshirts can be recycled to make good quilts. They are warm enough that just a backing rather than adding batting may be sufficiently warm if a lightweight quilt is desired. I often alternate sweatshirt materials with jean material. At a thrift store look for 2X and 3X sizes as they have a lot of material in them. You might want to cut around lettering and pictures on the shirts. I prefer buying plain shirts if I can find them. By halstein from Valley City, ND http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
As a passenger ship passed a small island, a bearded man could be seen shouting and furiously waving his arms. "Who is that?" a passenger asked the captain. "I have no idea," the captain replied, "But every year when we pass he goes nuts."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"Good afternoon, Landlord, a pint of Less if you please," said the old man. "Less? Never heard of it," replied the barman. "Oh, come now surely you have," he persisted. "No sorry, we certainly don't stock it. What is it anyway? Some kind of foreign beer?" "Well I'm not sure," admitted the man. "It was the doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink Less."

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Thoughts 


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Just Rewards 

Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River looking across at the Promised Land.

Saint Peter was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River."

As he saw their perplexed looks, he assured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally, according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water."

The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.

George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking of all his sins that were coming back to haunt him. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he began to emerge on the river's bank.

As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see who was next. A shock of surprise registered on his face as he saw Al Gore almost in the middle of the river, and the water was only up to his knees.

He turned to Saint Peter and exclaimed, "I know Al Gore, and that doesn't seem right!"

Before Saint Peter could reply, Al Gore, by now chest deep in the water, was shouting: "Clinton is sinking! Clinton is sinking!"

Clinton was nowhere in sight, so Bush yelled back to Gore, who was by now waist deep in the water: "How would you know?" "I'm standing on Clinton's shoulders!"




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Does formatting really clean everything? 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, July 13

Lots of quotes today. Some days I have problems finding even
one good one, other days I run across good ones, that I don't
want to pass over, in case I don't find them again. 

Last night we had a total power failure. The whole town was 
dark, except for Charlie and Charlene's house next door.
Solar. Even their yard lights worked. Made me wish I had
brought my solar stuff with me from the Yukon, but at the
time I thought grid electricity was cheap and reliable.

Oh, well. After half an hour the power came back, and thanks
to Auto-Save and OpenTabs it didn't take too long to restore 
everything.

If you don't have the OpenTabs add-in in FireFox, grab it!
It is free, and if you have a crash or catastrophic shut-down,
it may come in very handy.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

"Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it." --- Mark Twain "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." --- Edmund Burke "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." --- Albert Einstein
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage. A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."
Pastor Dave Charlton says, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. "About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' "It worked."
Thanks to Verna from Beechy in Saskatchewan for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. This photo was taken by Sandra...the flowering plant is growing on native Saskatchewan pasture, among the buckbrush. Wonder if you, or any of your readers, can identify it. Verna
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Raymond Rhodes, 19, Centralia, Washington Burglar left his dog behind CENTRALIA, Wash. -- Rule number one when becoming a burglar: Don't leave anything at the scene that would easily identify you. Especially if it's your dog, because, yeah, that probably would be noticed. A Centralia burglar learned that rule the hard way and is now sitting in the Lewis County Jail as a result. Centralia Police say there were several reported burglaries around the city on Sunday, but at one scene investigators were surprised to find a dog had been left behind. One of the officers recognized the pit bull as belonging to 19-year-old Raymond Rhodes. Detectives went to Rhodes' home and found some of the stolen items. After getting a search warrant, investigators found even more stolen items at the home. Rhodes was arrested and booked into the Lewis County Jail for investigation of residential burglary.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cass Re: Does formatting really clean everything? Dear Webby, since I received such great advice last time, I will ask another one....I heard that even reformatiing your hard drive will still leave stuff on your puter, so what free program have you heard about that will erase everything? Does this even apply, or will reformatting work just fine? Thanks in advance! Cass Dear Cass Spybot-Search&Destroy has a shredder in it's TOOLS section. Crap Cleaner has a drive wiper. Just use one of them to get rid of your nefarious Bingo schemes or whatever it is that you worry that it might get you thrown in jail or kicked out of the bridge club. When you do a format, do a deep format, not a quick format. Yes, I know, it will take and awfully long time, but that is the only way to completely get rid of sleazy stuff like Norton and certain malware. Norton marks parts of the hard drive as "bad sectors". For all other programs, those "bad sectors" are off-limit. They just treat them like a hole in the disk surface and simply ignore them and go around them. Whatever is hidden in there, can not be checked by anti-virus programs. Officially, Norton just hides the serial number and expiry date and some info they need for remote access in those fake "bad sectors". Actually,.... that's anybody's guess. That is why many techs get into a bad mood, when you mention Norton. When you do a Deep Format, the formatting process ignores what has been marked as bad, and checks the entire drive. If you wind up getting an extra 20 MB, then you know that Norton or some malware had previously fenced off 20 MB. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River looking across at the Promised Land. Saint Peter was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River." As he saw their perplexed looks, he assured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally, according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water." The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River. George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking of all his sins that were coming back to haunt him. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he began to emerge on the river's bank. As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see who was next. A shock of surprise registered on his face as he saw Al Gore almost in the middle of the river, and the water was only up to his knees. He turned to Saint Peter and exclaimed, "I know Al Gore, and that doesn't seem right!" Before Saint Peter could reply, Al Gore, by now chest deep in the water, was shouting: "Clinton is sinking! Clinton is sinking!" Clinton was nowhere in sight, so Bush yelled back to Gore, who was by now waist deep in the water: "How would you know?" "I'm standing on Clinton's shoulders!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Rubber Bands Save the little plastic hanger that comes with a new pair of socks. Load all your stray rubber bands onto the hanger. Use one rubber band to make the hinge. Loop it inside itself around the end and then hook the other end. Toss it in a drawer or hang. By Anne from Memphis, TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ With today's rubber bands they will be too dry and brittle to use, if you store them like that. They last a lot longer, if you keep them in a water filled jar or plastic container. If you need strong and lasting rubber bands, cut them from an old bicycle innertube, but not one, that has a longitudinal split. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Gloria for this one: I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue. "Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title, 'Your Highness'."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles." "What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group. "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you heeeeear meee?'."

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Gmail sabotaged by decorators 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 12

We had some very noisy hail this evening, that seemed to be 
stuck over this area. Usually hail doesn't last more than 
five minutes, this one lasted more than haf an hour. Luckily
the hail itself was just slightly bigger than marbles and did 
not do any damage. Sure refreshed the air!

Just got this from Denise: 
Dear Webby, 
Please warn your readers about the dangerous "Cyberdefender".
I have spent all evening trying to get rid of the "free trial" and 
have problems with my computer now.
Thanks for your great newsletters.
Denise

There is indeed a lot of bad publicity about that program 
on the net. I use McAfee since it came on 360 KB floppies,
but if I didn't, I would avoid any program that has as many people
complaining about it as Cyberdefender has.
Good Luck, Denise!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!

Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. --- Robert Frost
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

Uncle Leroy got a job down at the Broom Factory. On his first day the straw boss (Floor supervisor)calls ol' Leroy into his little office and says, "You the new man huh? What is yer name?" Leroy replied "Leroy" The straw boss says "I don't call anyone by first names. It breeds familiarity and that leads to breakdown in my Authority. I refer to all employees by last names; Now what is Your Last Name!" Leroy sort of smiles and says, "Its Darling - Leroy Darling! The Straw Boss said "Now Leroy the next thing........"
HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining. The day is young. We've got our whole lives ahead of us. And you're inside worrying about a stupid, burned-out light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Not only that, but I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp! German Shepard: No. You told me to sit. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: You can bring a new lightbulb in, but you are NOT going to take any lightbulbs or any of my other toys out of this room. Ever. Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. What are servants for? Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there... Greyhound: It isn't moving. I don't see it. Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Awesome riding at the Saskatchewan Landing. Who says Saskatchewan is flat?? I am lucky enough to ride where few people have been and I see some sights and hear sounds that fill me with awe of good old mother nature. Sue
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ken Bronstein, New York Atheists to file suit over 'Heaven' street sign NEW YORK (WPIX/CNN) - Some New York atheists are upset with the use of the "H" word. They're upset at a street named "Seven in Heaven Way" and plan to sue. "It's a very religious word, it has a lot of connotations," said Ken Bronstein, president of the New York City Atheists. "It's a whole conspiracy trying prove we are a Christian nation and imprinting our culture and our vocabulary," whined Bronstein. The street was named in honor of seven firefighters who died during the Sept. 11 attacks.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Arlo Re: How do you get to OLDEST in Gmail? Dear Webby, You talked me into using Gmail a few years ago, and I do appreciate the reliability. However, I wish they would leave it alone and stop messing with it. It IS pretty enough! Actually, since I handle my mail with Outlook and only use Gmail as my address, the only time I actually look at it with a browser is when I am away froom my own machine, or when I need to trim my archive down. It used to be easy, hit OLDEST, get the 100 oldest mails, Highlight all, delete, and just do that until I have enough space for a season. Now, while they were redecorating, they hid the link for showing the OLDEST mails in the INBOX. If they expect me to step back 7 GB of mail, one page at a time, fahgeddaboudit! I'll change my address and get a brand new and empty gmail account! Arlo Dear Arlo I agree, they should keep the widdle girls wif wibbons in their hair away from code and stop them from silly redecorating just for the sake of change. However, you CAN still jump to the oldest mail. The widdle girl wif wibbons in her hair didn't totally kill the link to the OLDEST page, she just painted it the same color as the background. In the area, where you used to see the links for OLDEST and NEWEST, you see the numbers, for example 1-100 of 46789 Hit that large number, and the links for OLDEST and NEWEST will become visible. Yes, I agree, it is dumb to hide an important link like that, without telling anybody. I have my Gmail set to show 100 mails per page, and I assigned the exclamation mark ! for "Select ALL on this page" and the tilde ~ for "Delete all selected ones" Once I am on the oldest page, I keep hitting !~ !~ !~ !~ until I got 50% space free. Remember to also dump the trash and the spam. That will make a huge difference! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Oscar for this one: Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler, but not being sure of the hotel rules I stopped at the door and asked the maid, "Can we drink beer on the beach?" "Sure, Senor" the maid replied, "but I finish clean the rooms first."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Empty tape roll for cord storage When you empty a roll of scotch tape or packaging tape take that hard cardboard or plastic ring and slip it over the plug end to your iron, sewing machine or other electric appliance that the cord is permanently attached. If the ring is too small to get over the end, slice through the ring and slip the cord through the slice. When not in use, you can simply fold the extra cord through the ring for storage. The ring will stay on the cord when you are using the appliance, and be there for you to use over and over. By latrtatr from Loup City, NE http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history. After he finished all 17 pages, he looked at me and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally Lisa gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Lisa said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and be a nuisance on your horn for you."

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Looks 


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Why full featured email? 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 11

Dimitris from Atlantic Inkjet just told me that even Al Qaeda have 
arguments over toner cartridges. According to an article by 
The Voice of America, the US military’s Harmony database 
showed the terrorist organisation’s members argue over 
cartridge use.

The US database apparently also offered an insight into many 
other details of the group’s "business" side, including "financial 
record storage and the hiring process for terrorists" and they 
even take into account "prior experience and references".

Some of the arguments recorded were about how to use toner 
cartridges for bombs, believe it or not.  Makes you wonder what
THEY are smoking!

Toner Cartridges, if one recalls, were used in a failed bomb 
attack last October, when some idiots in Yemen sent HP
printers with tampered toner cartridges, addressed to a 
lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender Synagogue in Chicago.
Somebody talked, and the tampered cartridges were removed
in Saudi Arabia and England. They did not blow up.

While the FAA and British air patrol authorities have some 
restrictions on passengers taking toner cartridges with them 
as carry-on on a flight, toner cartridges are sold every day 
by thousands of retailers and wholesalers like Atlantic
Inkjet .com
to Millions of end users who use them for what they are intended.

I just got toner cartridges for my DELL 1320c from 
Atlantic Inkjet.com, a lot faster than expected. 
Well, unlike ink, toner cartridges don't dry out or go bad. 
They just contain a dry powder anyway. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." --- Confucius "It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." --- John Wooden
Do you want to reverse your electrical meter and power bill? You CAN! Legally! Not a sneaky gimmick, not turning things off or down, just simple know-how. The Power 4 Home system shows and explains every step. If you are still paying for electricity, then this is for YOU!

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
After trying a new shampoo for the first time a guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer. Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper items. "Well, what do you think" his wife asked smiling. "Next time," he replied. "I'm writing to Chrysler!"
A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend. "You see," he explained, "my wife's expecting." "Oh," said the Officer, "I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck." The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation, "My wife's expecting." The Officer looked surprised. "Still expecting?" he said, "Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the weekend off." When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. "Don't tell me your wife is still expecting!" he bellowed. "Yes, sir!" said the soldier resolutely, "She's still expecting." "What in heaven is she expecting?" yelled the Officer. "Me." said the soldier simply.
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dylan Muscio, 19, in Waterton, Conn Teen posts his vandalism on Facebook Watertown, Conn. - A 19-year-old Watertown bonehead was arrested after posting a two-minute video on Facebook that shows him ramming his car into trash cans set out along a quiet street. Watertown police say Dylan Muscio slammed the Subaru station wagon he was driving into two trash cans on Kimberly Lane before posting the video online. Detectives said Muscio and an unidentified passenger intentionally rammed into garbage cans with the car. "It's a little scary. It looks like the video was during the day, and we have kids here playing all the time, " Rinaldi said. Video
From the Tech Support Pits: From: William Re: Why Eudora Dear Webby, When I use Google mail from my google home page, there is a choice between clicking on inbox and getting the less useful version or clicking on mail just above which gives the full google mail including folders etc , spell check and everything I find on any other mail program. that, of course, is not web browsing, since the mail is downloaded. Google also tells me I am using 536 MP of my 7602 MB of storage. Most of the seems to be folders and mail. I can't understand how Eudora might be better, but I was contented with Pine for sometime. Dear William Eudora and all the "full featured" email programs allow you to file mail in different "mailboxes", for example one box for your electrical bills, one for mail from your lover, one for each of your banks, etc. Plus LOTS of other features that neither Pine nor Gmail have. If Eudora is to intimidating with all it's features, you can try Alpine. That is the full featured version of Pine. Or Outlook Express. I don't personally recommend that one, but it is already on your computer, and Gmail has a nice picture tutorial on how to set it up for handling your Gmail. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Looking for something different for my sister's birthday, I decided on a pair of pajamas made up of bright scenic prints of the natural wonders of the world. I wrapped them up and sent them off. Now I just received this e-mail from her... "You Bozo," she wrote. "I don't mind having '12,948 feet high' indicated on my chest, but I thoroughly resent "greatest natural span" across my bottom!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Empty tape roll for cord storage When you empty a roll of scotch tape or packaging tape take that hard cardboard or plastic ring and slip it over the plug end to your iron, sewing machine or other electric appliance that the cord is permanently attached. If the ring is too small to get over the end, slice through the ring and slip the cord through the slice. When not in use, you can simply fold the extra cord through the ring for storage. The ring will stay on the cord when you are using the appliance, and be there for you to use over and over. By latrtatr from Loup City, NE http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was going to the dentist to get some teeth pulled. The dentist was about to give the man some local anesthesia to numb the pain. "Don't give me any drugs doc, having a tooth pulled is relatively easy, and it's quick.", the man said. The doctor pulled the first tooth out and the man just grunted. Then the doctor attempted to pull the second tooth, only this one snapped in half and the dentist knocked another tooth out with his pliers. But again the man just grunted. "Wow, that sure is a lot of pain just to grunt at, have you ever felt pain like that before?" asked the amazed dentist. "Well, twice actually." said the man, "The first time was when I was out in the woods and had to take use a washrom really bad. The sit-down type. I pulled down my pants and jumped over this log. Just then a bear trap closed on my balls and I started running...." "Damn that must have hurt." the dentist interrupted. "What was the second time?" "Oh, that would have been when the bear trap came to the end of it's chain."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"A new poll shows that 94% of women said they would rather have a perfect body than a genius IQ. With a genius IQ, they can do whatever they want. With a perfect body, they can get somebody else to do whatever they want them to do."

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