Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 29.

The first few of the Saskatoon berries are ripe.



Due to the end of the Gullible Warming, they are a late,
but they taste exactly the same.

The raspberries are late too, but the first few were delicious!
You see some that are almost ripe.




The enthusiastic plant on the right is Lovage or Maggi, 
a very nice spice. The seeds of it have a quite different 
flavor from the dried leaves. It is time to cut them and
dry them. If you are not familiar witrh that spice, it is
the secret why Gramma's meatloaf tasted better.

The brown pipe holds the hay-wire, that keeps the plants
from leaning out too far.
The galvanized 6" pipe with mosquito netting on top is the 
exhaust from the fridge. In summer I don't want it to heat 
up the kitchen, so I exhaust it to the outside. 
The air intake is down behind the raspberries.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation 
of those whom we cannot resemble.
--- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

There are three ways to get something done: 
do it yourself, hire someone, 
or forbid your kids to do it.


Good Chance to Win a $100 Starbucks Giftcard or an Iphone 5. 
No cost or obligation.
A two-year-old daughter was with her mother while her older
sister was being examined by a dentist.  The two-year-old
kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until
she noticed that her mom was resting, with her eyes closed.

With about six other patients waiting, the child toddled up
to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her.
"Mommy," she yelled, "wake up!  This is not church!"

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
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Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
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If you want to do something special and really crazy, go
to the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championship!
This year it is on Aug 24, so you still have plenty of time
to get to Savonlinna, Finland.

You can sign up at Here
There is a registration fee to minimize frivolous sign-ups 
by people, who won't attend.

Last year a new world record wast thrown by Ere Karjalainen, 
Finland. New WR is amazing 101,46 m (331.4 feets)! 

Second was Jeremy Gallop from South Africa, 94,67 m (308.4 f).
2011 Champion Oskari Heinonen came third with 86,94 m (286.2f).

Winner in women's category came also from Finland, 
Jonna Mattero threw 42,47 m (137.8 feet).

Even if you don't quite win, just watching competitors from
all  over the world, should be a hoot!





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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Angelina Davis, 18, Oklahoma City, OK

Jailed for Strangling Own Father To Death 
Over Drug Money

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Angelina Davis, an 18-year-old Oklahoma dope addict
and prostitute, was jailed Thursday after she allegedly 
strangled her father to death when he failed to give 
her money for drugs.

According to police, an investigation was launched back 
in March after two neighbors found 77-year-old Jay Davis 
dead inside his tiny, dilapidated house in Oklahoma City.

Investigators say the man was found with a cord wrapped 
around his neck and may have been dead for several days 
before he was found by concerned neighbors.

Officers began a search for the man's daughter, Angelina 
Davis after obtaining evidence and witness statements 
that made her the likely suspect in the case.

According to the arrest report, Davis reportedly harassed 
her father for money on a regular basis, beat him, and 
told friends that she was going to kill her father if he 
didn't give her money for drugs.

Davis also reportedly told a friend the place inside the 
house where her father died, even though she was not at 
the scene when police found the body and information 
about the man's death had not been shared with her.

Davis, who is  a drug addict and worked as a prostitute, 
was booked into jail on a charge of murder.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Angie
Re: FTP

Dear Webby
I have always used browser FTP to up and download files,
but with my new web host I can't do that any more. I was
told to get a proper, grown-up FTP program. Snobs!
I looked around and there are hundreds of them availale.
Which one would you recommend, preferably one that is
not too expensive?
Angie

Dear Angie
Best is FileZilla
You can get it free.
Yes, totally free! Not even sleazy ads on the download page.

FileZilla is just as powerful as the $100 + programs,
but in my opinion more user friendly and considerably
faster.

If your web host insists on SFTP (SECURE FTP), that is
absolutely no problem with FileZilla.

Filezilla lets you change file permissions on the server,
even for whole directory branches at a time.

Another nice feature is the ability to transfer a dozen
files simultaneously. As you can probably imagine, that
really speeds up getting work done! You can even have
multiple instances of it open, if you are working on more 
than one domain. 

I use FileZilla every day, and like it!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Bathtub Cleaning Made Easy
 Use liquid toilet bowl cleaner in your bathtub or shower 
to remove hard water stains, minerals, mildew, and soap 
residue. It's stronger than bathtub cleaners and does the 
job in no time. 

The thicker formula makes it cling to the sides of the tub 
while it dissolves the offending grime. If you use a product 
with a color added (the one I use is blue) it can stain 
white grout, so be careful not to put it directly on the 
walls. Rinse thoroughly and do not mix with other cleaners.

Source: Heard it from a friend who restores old houses.

By Diane from Wonder Lake, IL 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two fellows
who had been rivals all their lives followed different career
paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the
other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop.

As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the Airport.
The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly,
"Oh Porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?"
The Admiral approached, bowed, and said
"Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A chief and an admiral were sitting in the barber shop. They
were both just getting finished with their shaves--the barbers
were reaching for some aftershave to slap on their faces.

The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me!
My wife will think I've been in a house of ill repute!"

The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and
put it on. MY wife doesn't know what the inside of a
house of ill repute smells like."




» City of Dragons




Today, July 29, in

1588 The English defeated the Spanish Armada in the Battle
 of Gravelines.
1754 The first international boxing match was held. The 
 25-minute match was won when Jack Slack of Britain knocked 
 out Jean Petit from France.
1874 Major Walter Copton Winfield of England received 
 U.S. patent for the lawn-tennis court.
1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was 
 inaugurated when two people held a conversation between 
 New York, NY and San Francisco, CA.
1940 John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO, completed a 292-mile 
 swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis to 
 Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes.
1957 The International Atomic Energy Agency was established.
1958 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) 
 was authorized by the U.S. Congress.
1968 Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's 
 stance against artificial methods of birth control.
1975 OAS (Organization of American States) members voted to 
 lift collective sanctions against Cuba. The U.S. government 
 welcomed the action and announced its intention to open serious
 discussions with Cuba on normalization.
1981 England's Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were married.
1985 General Motors announced that Spring Hill, TN, would be 
 the home of the Saturn automobile assembly plant.
1993 The Israeli Supreme Court acquitted retired Ohio 
 autoworker John Demjanjuk of being Nazi death camp guard 
 "Ivan the Terrible." His death sentence was thrown out 
 and he was set free. Then the US deported him to Germany.
1997 Minamata Bay in Japan was declared free of mercury 
 40 years after contaminated food fish were blamed for 
 deaths and birth defects.
1998 The United Auto Workers union ended a 54-day strike 
 against General Motors. The strike caused $2.8 billion 
 in lost revenues.
2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered 
 a new planet (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around 
 the sun.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, July 28.
Today in 1866 - The metric system was legalized by the 
U.S. Congress for the standardization of weights and 
measures throughout the United States.

That was 147 years ago. So far only the electricians,
electronics techs and SOME scientists have switched 
to the metric system. The US is unique in that. The
rest of the world has adopted the metric system long
ago.

Canada switched to the metric system shortly after I
got used to use the Imperial system, so I had to learn
it all over. Since the metric system is so much easier,
that was a breeze.

People got used to it quickly, but with some of the 
units there is still some confusion as to how to 
pronounce them. Is it KILOmeters, like the 
Europeans say it, 
or is it kilOMeters, like the Brits pronounce it, 
or kiloMETERS ?

So people give it nicknames like "klicks", "k-m's",
and some call them "miles", even though they mean
kilometers. In the long run, I think "klicks" will
win out.

However, NOBODY would want to go back to that silly
British Imperial system of inches and feet and yards
and furlongs and fathoms and miles. After all, WE are
no longer a British colony! 
AND, simply moving the decimal point is a lot easier.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







Eighty percent of success is showing up.
--- Woody Allen (1935 - )

As democracy is perfected, the office of the President 
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the 
people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks 
of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and 
the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and 
complete narcissistic moron.

H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920


Good Chance to Win a $100 Starbucks Giftcard or an Iphone 5. 
No cost or obligation.
Thanks to Phil for this report:
My boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so
he sent a memo saying that any paper left
on desks would be removed at night and
we would have to fill out a form to get it back.

So we left all our garbage paper on our desks
every night.

Next day, the boss had an office full of garbage,
and we never heard about the policy again.

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, 
Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
Fix Windows quickly and safely!


I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio   
help callers with their home problems. One woman called up   
hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement.   

"Leave a trail of breadcrumbs or cat food from your basement   
to your backyard," suggested the show's host. "That'll get   
rid of it."   

An hour later the woman called back, even more upset. "Now   
I have TWO skunks in my basement!"   



Click on the picture for the large version


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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jesse Lopez, 29, Great Falls, Montana

Began His Day By Finding Lost Wallet, 
Ends His Day At Hospital 
After Eating Pills From Anus

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Jesse Lopez a 29-year-old Montana man, was hospitalized 
and then charged after he allegedly pulled several pills 
from his buttocks and ate them.

According to Great Falls Police, Lopez was at the Great 
Falls Police station to retrieve a lost wallet that someone 
had turned in when officers realized that an outstanding 
warrant had been issued for his arrest.

While Lopez was being processed into jail, officers found 
two crack pipes in his pocket and several plastic spindles 
that are commonly used to distribute narcotics.

At some point during the booking process, another inmate 
told officers that Lopez was pulling pills out of his 
buttocks and consuming them.  A dogpile of officers were 
able to retrieve 4 Hydrocodone pills from Lopez' mouth 
as he attempted to swallow them.

The report did not indicate how many pills Lopez was 
successful in swallowing before officers were able to react.

Officers also recovered the broken fragments of several 
plastic bindles from Lopez mouth that may have contained 
additional narcotics.

Lopez was reportedly rushed to a local hospital and placed 
into intensive care following the incident.

He has been charged with possession with intent to distribute, 
tampering with evidence and three counts of criminal possession 
of drug paraphernalia.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Leesa
Re: PPS

Dear Webby
I thought I'd ask you about this one about PPS files.  
I love these pictures, and would like to use them as my 
desktop wall paper, one at a time, of course.  How can 
I save them individually into my wallpaper folder?  
Obviously, I can't right click 'cause the save option 
isn't there.

Appreciate your help, again.

Have a wonderful day.

Leesa

Dear Leesa
If you use Microsoft powerpoint viewer, you need to have a
graphics program open. Arrange your windows so thet you can
jump back and forth between that and the powerpoint viewer.
Click it ahead to a picture, that you want to harvest.
When you see it, hold down ALT and hit PrinTScreen.
That "prints" the picture into the clipboard.
Hold ALT and hit TAB
That jumps you to your graphics program, without closing 
the Powerpoint slide show.
In the graphics program hit CTRL V or EDIT, PASTE.
That opens a new picture and pastes what you had "printed" 
into the clipboard.
ALT Tab will jump you back to the slide show.
Advance to the next picture, that you want, and repeat 
the procedure.

If you use Open Office, it is a bit simpler.
There you see thumbnails of all the slides on the left
side. Select the one you want, right-click and select
COPY.
ALT TAB to your graphics program and paste it as a new
picture with CTRL V.
ALT Tab back to the slide show, select the next thumb nail
and so on.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cooking Sweet Corn
Now that sweet corn is in season, a frugal way to prepare 
it and save time and water is to make it in your microwave. 
Use a gallon size freezer bag and place the peeled and 
cleaned ears of corn inside. Six will fit easily. Add about 
a half cup of water. Seal the bag three fourths closed. 
Microwave on high 8-10 minutes.
It comes out perfect every time! You can wash out and reuse 
the bag also.

By Cindy S. 

Instead of laboriously cleaning the corn cold, I stick the
cobs with husks and all into the microwave, or at camp into
a pot of boiling water. 10 minutes either way.
Then I cut the cob at the stalk end EXACTLY at the widest 
spot. Don't try to cheat! It has to be at the widest spot,
just before it narrows down to the stalk.

After that, I grab the top of the cob and squeeze. The corn
slides out of the husk nice and clean, without any silk.
Use an oven mitt or glove for the squeeze.

It sure beats cold cleaning, and the corn is juicy enough 
to spray a bit, when you bite into the kernels.
Melt some butter on it, sprinkle a bit of salt and pepper,
and enjoy!
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

>Frm Peter, the Australian version

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030 
 
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions 
in the seventh largest country in the world "Little India" 
formerly known as Australia .

Tasmania, Australia's southern land state, executes last 
remaining Greenie.
 
White minorities still trying to have English recognised 
as Australia's third language.
 
Children from two-parent heterosexual families bullied in 
schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.
 
Gay Marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as 
preferred 'lifestyle' choice.
 
Melbourne schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa: 
Being a Christian is no excuse says school. Sharia 
law must be enforced. 
 
Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale 
meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research 
fleet are unemployed. Australian Government has told the 
Japanese that Cane Toads taste like whale meat.
 
Australia now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. 
Professor Goldman of the Australian National University says 
there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people 
saying what they think.
 
Australian Deficit 10 $Trillion dollars and rising. 
Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 
300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf 
claims increased growth through more immigration is the 
secret to success.
 
Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, 
Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED): 
Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch. 
 
Baby conceived naturally ! Scientists stumped. 
 
Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take 
at least a hundred more years before radioactivity decreases 
to safe levels.
 
France pleads for global help after being taken over by 
Islamic Countries. No other country volunteers to come 
forward to help the beleaguered nation ! Serves them right.
 
Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be 
imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned 
all smoking..
 
Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for election as 
US President in 2032.
 
Australia Post raises price of stamps to $18 and reduces 
mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
 
After a ten year $75.8 billion study, commissioned by the 
Labor Party: Scientists prove Diet and Exercise is the key 
to weight loss.
 
Average weight of an Australian drops to 115 kgs.
 
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third 
consecutive year in Victoria India and New South Iraq.
 
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast 
shutter speed they can now photograph an Australian woman 
with her mouth shut.
 
Senate still blocking drilling for oil in Canberra even 
though petrol is selling for 5,000 Rupees per litre and 
petrol stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
 
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their 
civil rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime. 
 
Average height of professional basketball players is now 
nine feet, seven inches.
 
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, 
fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by 
January 2035 as lethal weapons.
 
Australian Tax Office sets lowest tax rate in decades at 
75 percent.
 
Carlton won this years National Footy final beating the 
Hindu Hornets 20-11 to 13-18
 
Southern Asia (formerly Northern Territory ) voters still 
having trouble with voting machines.

From 
Peter
Australia




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read,   
"Big Lobster Tales, $5 each."   

Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the   
waitress, "Five dollars each for lobster tails -- is that   
correct?"   

"Yes," she said. "It's our special just for today."   

"Well," he said, "they must be little lobster tails."   

"No," she replied, "it's the really big lobster."   

"Big red lobster tails, $5 each?" he said, amazed. "They   
must be old lobster tails!"   

"No, they're definitely today's."   

"Today's big red lobster tails -- $5 each?" he repeated,   
astounded.   

"Yes," she insisted.   

"Well, here's my five dollars," he said. "I'll take one."   

She took the money and led him to a table where she invited   
him to sit down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand   
on his shoulder, leaned over close to him, and said, "Once   
upon a time there was a really big, red lobster..."   



» Animal Capshunz




Today, July 28, in
1821 - Peru declared its independence from Spain.
1866 - The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress 
 for the standardization of weights and measures throughout 
 the United States. 
1868 - The Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution 
 was declared in effect. The amendment guaranteed due 
 process of law.
1896 - The city of Miami, FL, was incorporated.
1914 - World War I officially began when Austria-Hungary 
 declared war on Serbia.
1932 - Federal troops forcibly dispersed the "Bonus Army" 
 of World War I veterans who had gathered in Washington, DC. 
 They were demanding money they were not scheduled to 
 receive until 1945.
1941 - Plans for the Pentagon were approved by the U.S. 
 House of Representatives.
1942 - L.A. Thatcher received a patent for a coin-operated 
 mailbox.The device stamped envelopes when money was inserted.
1945 - A U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of 
 New York City's Empire State Building. 14 people were killed 
 and 26 were injured.
1951 - The Walt Disney film "Alice in Wonderland" was released.
1965 - U.S. President Johnson announced he was increasing the 
 number of American troops in South Vietnam 
 from 75,000 to 125,000.
1982 - San Francisco, CA, became the first city in the U.S. 
 to ban handguns.
1998 - Bell Atlantic and GTE announced $52 billion deal that 
 created the second-largest phone company.
1998 - Monica Lewinsky received blanket immunity from 
 prosecution to testify before a grand jury about her 
 relationship with U.S. President Clinton.
2006 - Researchers announced that two ancient reptiles had 
 been found off Australia. The Umoonasaurus and Opallionectes 
 were the first of their kind to be found in the period soon 
 after the Jurassic era. (That is about 150 Million years ago,
 long before Noah's flood, which was from 5000 to 4500 years
 ago.)
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, July 27.

Thank you, Sig!
Thank you, Robert!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







The end of the human race will be that it will 
eventually die of civilization.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)


Good Chance to Win a $100 Starbucks Giftcard or an Iphone 5. 
No cost or obligation.
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from
work one day, "I have great news for you.  Pretty soon we're
going to be three in this house instead of two."

The husband started glowing with happiness.  He kissed
his wife and said, "Oh darling, this makes me the happiest
person in the world."

And she said, "I'm so happy you feel this way.
I was worried that you wouldn't like my mother 
moving in with us."

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, 
Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
Fix Windows quickly and safely!


A child was on his first visit to the country at his grandparents'
ranch and feeding the chickens fascinated him.  Early one morning
he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard.

He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was making
breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come and see!
One of the chickens is in bloom!"



Click on the picture for the large version
Ausangate mountain, Andes, Peru 

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Adam St. Valle, 29, New Port Richey, Floriduh

Jailed After Knocking Girlfriend's 
Teeth Out When She Caught Him Having 
Sex With Another Woman

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Adam St. Valle, a 29-year-old Floriduh bonehead, was jailed 
Friday after he knocked his girlfriend's teeth out because 
she walked in on him having sex with another woman.

According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, a woman 
was attacked by her boyfriend Friday when she walked in and 
found him having sex with a woman she could only identify 
by the name "Danielle."

Investigators say St. Valle retaliated by repeatedly punching 
his girlfriend in the face until several of her teeth were 
knocked out. St. Valle then allegedly held a knife to her 
throat before deputies arrived on the scene.

St. Valle told deputies that the woman injured his penis, 
however, deputies saw no signs of injury.

St. Valle was booked into the Pasco County Jail and charged 
with aggravated battery. 
He remains held in lieu of $5,000 bond.

St. Valle has a long arrest history in Pasco County which 
includes multiple arrests for domestic battery, burglary, 
evading law enforcement and driving on a revoked license.  

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Elisa
Re: Jittery Moon

Dear Webby
Thanks for the trick for getting rid of the nuisance 
Category Tabs in Gmail!

I tried to take a picture of the red moon in forest fire
smoke a while after dark. I used max Zoom, and wound
up with TWO overlapping crescents of the moon, as if
it was a double exposure. The sharp tips of the crescent
are definitely there twice. What causes that? I rested one
edge of the camera on the window sill to keep it steady.
How do I avoid that problem?
Elisa

Dear Elisa
You shot the picture in VERY dark conditions, not just
after dark, but through forest fire smoke. The camera kept
the shutter open long to gather enough light to show the moon,
maybe 2 - 3 seconds if you have a camera with a large lens,
much longer if it has a small lens. 
During that time you jittered a bit.

Next time you try that, nestle the camera into a bag of
sugar or sand. That holds the camera much steadier than
resting one edge of it on a hard surface. Once you have the
shot lined up, hit the self-timer, stand back and don't
breathe until it has taken the picture.

The less light you have, the more careful you have to be to
avoid jitters.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Masking Tape to Keep Rugs from Slipping
I can guarantee that this works. Rugs on hard floors 
stop slipping if you roll masking tape (the kind that 
vehicle painters use, which can be bought at any hardware 
store) at least 5 times around your hand and apply to 
each corner of the rug. The tape will not damage any 
tiles or even wooden flooring

By Lynne G. 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Johnnie's Teacher paid a visit to his house one day.  When
little Johnny opened the door, she asked
"Johnnie, are your father and mother in?"

"They was in, but they is out." he answered.

The teacher gasped, "Why, Johnnie, it is 'They
 were in, they are out' Where's your grammar?"

"Downtown, but mom and dad are bailing her out."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.
When Adam stayed out late for a few nights, Eve became
upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the
only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be
awakened by someone poking him in the chest.

It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam
demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.



» Rain Clusters




Today, July 27, in
1214 At the Battle of Bouvines in France, Philip Augustus of 
 France defeated John of England.
1245 Frederick II was deposed by a council at Lyons after they 
 found him guilty of sacrilege.
1663 The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act, 
 which required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in 
 British ships from British ports.
1689 Government forces defeated the Scottish Jacobites at the 
 Battle of Killiecrankie.
1777 The Marquis of Lafayette arrived in New England to help 
 the rebellious American colonists fight the British.
1778 The British and French fleets fought to a standoff in 
 the first Battle of Ushant.
1866 Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable. 
 It was an underwater telegraph from North America to Europe.
1909 Orville Wright set a record for the longest airplane flight. 
 He was testing the first Army airplane and kept it in the air 
 for 1 hour 12 minutes and 40 seconds.
1914 British troops invaded the streets of Dublin, Ireland, 
 and began to disarm Irish rebels.
1918 The Socony 200 was launched. It was the first concrete barge 
 and was used to carry oil.
1921 Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates 
 announced the discovery of the hormone insulin.
1940 Bugs Bunny made his official debut in the Warner Bros. 
 animated cartoon "A Wild Hare."
1944 U.S. troops completed the liberation of Guam.
1953 The armistice agreement that ended the Korean War was 
 signed at Panmunjon, Korea.
1955 The Allied occupation of Austria ended.
 I rememeber that! Meat rationing ended too, since we did 
 not have to feed the occupation troops any longer, and all
 school kids got a hotdog. Brass bands played and church bells
 rang, and speeches were made. I don't remember what they 
 were about, but I remember that hotdog!
1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent an additional 5,000 
 "advisers" to South Vietnam.
1965 In the U.S., the Federal Cigarette Labeling and 
 Advertising Act was signed into law. The law required health 
 warnings on all cigarette packages.
1967 U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner Commission to 
 assess the causes of the violence in the wake of urban rioting.
1974 The U.S. Congress asked for impeachment procedures against 
 President Richard Nixon.
1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, died in a 
 hospital near Cairo, Egypt.
1993 IBM's new chairman, Louis V. Gerstner, Jr., announced an 
 $8.9 billion plan to cut the company's costs.
1995 The Korean War Veterans Memorial was dedicated in 
 Washington, DC, by U.S. President Clinton and South 
 Korean President Kim Young-sam.
2001 The ribbon cutting ceremony was held for American Airlines 
 Center in Dallas, TX. The event set two new world records, 
 one for the 3 mile long ribbon and one for the 2,000 people 
 who cut it.
2003 It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.) 
 that there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation 
 used 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation 
 technology to trawl the loch. Reports of sightings of 
 the "Loch Ness Monster" began in the 6th century.
2006 Intel Corp introduced its Core 2 Duo microprocessors.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, July 26.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you, Dr Bill!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







I will never be an old man. 
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
--- Bernard M. Baruch (1870 - 1965)

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps
it from betting on people.
--- W. C. Fields


Good Chance to Win a $100 Starbucks Giftcard or an Iphone 5. 
No cost or obligation.
Three Pastors in the South were having lunch in a diner.
One said "You know, since summer started I've been having
trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church.
I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to
scare them away."

Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in 
my belfry and in the narthex attic.   I've even
had the place fumigated and they won't go away."

The third said, "I baptized all mine, made them members
of the church and asked for donations.
Haven't seen one back since!"

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, 
Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
Fix Windows quickly and safely!


A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in   
his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother   
the lens was no where to be found.   

Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned   
with the lens in her hand.   

"How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked.   

"We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You   
were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking   
for $150."   


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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Aaron Little, 37, Seattle, Washington 

Sex Offender Charged With Peeking Up 
Woman's Skirt, Groping Her During 
Church Service

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Aaron Little, a 37-year-old registered sex offender, was 
jailed after he allegedly sexually assaulted a woman during 
Sunday church service.

According to police, Little was sitting behind a woman 
during a 9:30 a.m. church service when he lifted up the 
back of her skirt and peeked at her underwear when the 
congregation stood up to sing a hymn.

Although the victim didn't realize that Little was getting 
a gander at her nether regions, several of the woman's 
relatives did.

The woman's relatives frog marched Little to the door and 
booted him out of service, however, Little ran through 
another church entrance and sat down next to the woman 
before her relatives returned to their seats.

That's when Little lifted up the woman's skirt a second 
time and groped her.

Several congregation members dog-piled Little and held 
him until police arrived on the scene.

Little was booked into the King County Jail and charged 
with suspicion of rape.
---------
The bonehead needs to have his head examined!
Even if she was wearing a poodle skirt, a peek at her
undies and a quick grope was most definitely not worth
getting tenderized by a herd of relatives and yhrn the
cops, and most likely spending 5 - 10 years in jail.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Alice
Re: Gmail Tabs and filters

Dear Webby,
I agree with you, those Gmail Tabbies are a bloody nuisance
for anybody, who gets a serious amount of email. 
Their totally useless edict from their 
"mail-noreply@google.com" frosted my buns too.

I sure appreciate it, that you showed me how to get rid of 
those dumb tabbies.

Now I got a Gmail related question, that is probably 
really easy for you: How do I make a filter, to keep 
something out of the SPAM?
Thanks
Alice

Dear Alice 
Click the little bicycle sprocket near the right top
and select Settings
In there you see a line menu at the top and another one just 
below the bicycle sprocket.
In that second line menu the fifth item from the left is 
Filters.
Click on that, and scroll down to the bottom,
There you see a tiny line that says Create a new filter.
It is not underlined, but is a link. 
No, I don't know why they are not competent enough to show 
links underlined. Maybe they want to confuse people.
Hit that not underlined link.

That gets you to a very crude filter form, well crude when
compard to MailWasher, where you just pull down the options,
and where you can use regular expressions like IF - BUT NOT, 
AND, etc. 

Enter the information, that you want the filter to use, into 
that little filter form.

Don't let that magnifying glass tempt you into testing 
your criteria. That has not worked right for years.
If you do, your carefully made filter gets trashed. 
Just tell it to contine.
Then you can tell it what to do with found mails.

Usually all you use Gmail filters for is to keep good mail
OUT of the Spam folder. Gmail is pretty good at recognizing
spam, but frequently a bit too eager.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Repair a Large Screw Hole With Rope
If you have a hole that is to large for a screw, just put 
a piece of natural rope into the hole. I like jute or cotton 
rope the best. I tried toothpicks and wooden matches at 
first, but I've since found that rope works far better 
because it wraps itself around the screw so it fits 
tightly into the threads!

By JLS

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the woman   
he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposal.   

He began what can only be called a "Campaign" and sent her a   
token of his affection every day for a month to her house.   

The plan was successful too -- the young lady fell in love   
with the UPS man.   




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

The census taker knocked on an old lady's door.  He asked her
several questions and she answered all of them except one.
She refused to tell him her age.

"But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said.

"Did Miss Maisy Hill and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?"
she asked stubbornly.

"Certainly," the census taker replied.

Then the lady snapped, "Well, I'm the same age as they are."

So, the census taker remarked: OK, I'll put down,
"As old as the Hills."



» Heraceleion Below Sea




Today, July 26, in
1775 A postal system was established by the 2nd Continental 
 Congress of the United States. The first Postmaster General 
 was Benjamin Franklin.
1881 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent 
 application for a facsimile telegraph
1893 Commercial production of the Addressograph started 
 in Chicago, IL.
1907 The Chester was launched. It was the first turbine-
 propelled ship.
1945 Winston Churchill resigned as Britain's prime minister.
1948 U.S. President Truman signed executive orders that 
 prohibited discrimination in the U.S. armed forces and 
 federal employment.
1952 King Farouk I of Egypt abdicated in the wake of a 
 coup led by Gamal Abdel Nasser.
1953 Fidel Castro began his revolt against Fulgencio Batista 
 with an unsuccessful attack on an army barracks in eastern 
 Cuba. Castro eventually ousted Batista six years later.
1956 Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized 
 the Suez Canal.
1971 Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL.
1998 AT&T and British Telecommunications PLC announced they 
 were forming a joint venture to combine international 
 operations and develop a new Internet system.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 25.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







Hold a book in your hand and you're a pilgrim 
at the gates of a new city.
--- Anne Michaels

Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student.
--- George Iles


Good Chance to Win a $100 Starbucks Giftcard or an Iphone 5. 
No cost or obligation.
On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a   
senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the under-   
ground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into   
them.   

"What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?"   
I joked.   

"It would go out," he replied very matter-of-factly.   

"Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a   
lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would   
extinguish it before the fumes ignited?"   

"No," my co-worker continued. "The force from the explosion   
would blow out the match." 

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Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
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The colonel had three Second Lieutenants eligible for
promotion. The problem was, he only had one First Lieutenant
Slot available.

The colonel called the first butter-bar into his office and said,
"This is a promotion test. If I was to tell you that I wanted a
flag pole erected in front of Post HQ by 1700, what would you
do?"

The Lt. thought about it for a second, and said, "Sir. I would
get a shovel, head for HQ and start digging . . . "

"You're not ready to be promoted," the Colonel interrupted.

The colonel asked the same question of the next candidate.

"Sir," said the next butter-bar, "I would fill out a CE work order,
making sure I made provisions for the appropriate
environmental study and  . . . "

"You are definitely not ready to be promoted," the Colonel
said.

The Colonel asked the question of the final candidate.

Without hesitation, the Lieutenant said, "Sir. I would call the
First Sergeant, and say, 'Top, I want a @#$#@ flag pole
set up in front of HQ by 16:30, standing perfectly straight!"

"You're ready to be promoted," the Colonel said.


Thanks to lillemor for this picture from her garden:

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jaaziah Herrera, 23, St Cloud, Floriduh

Cell Phone Salesman Charged With Dragging 
Woman Into Back Room, Demanding 
That She Date Him

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Jaaziah Herrera, a 23-year-old Florida bonehead employed 
at Metro PCS in St. Cloud, was jailed after he allegedly 
dragged a customer into a back room and demanded that she 
start dating him.

According to police, a customer was shopping at a Metro 
PCS store in St. Cloud when an employee, identified as 
Jaaziah Herrera, suggested that the two of them should date.

When the woman turned down Herrera's advances, he reportedly 
dragged her into a back room at the store and pinned her 
down so that she was unable to get away.

That's when he reportedly told her "Look me in the eyes and 
tell me you don't want me."

The victim reportedly told Herrera "No" several times, 
explaining that she had a boyfriend and that he would be 
looking for her.

Herrera eventually let the woman go, and she immediately 
called police.

When officers arrived at the store to question Herrera, they 
found a 5-foot nylon rope in his pocket.

Herrera told police that he carried the rope because he had 
been practicing his knot tying skills.

He was booked into the Osceola County Jail and charged with 
false imprisonment and battery.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Phyllis
Re: Confusion with Gmail

Dear  Webby,

    Gmail has me completely confused...although being a 
senior citizen may account for that ,too.  They have somehow 
changed their way of sending out email and when I go to 
their @Welcome to the new GMail" page, I find no instructions 
at all.  Now I get one or 2 new emails per day, none of which 
are ones I want.  I'm still getting your letter on my 
alternate email address, but that's not helping for my Gmail. 
   Any ideas?
Phyllis

Dear Phyllis
A lot of people wrote with similar questions or complaints 
about Gmail.

What really frosted a lot of people was that the totally 
unhelpful edict from the throne was sent by
, and they don't know where to 
complain about the dopey concept.

Your address is still in the list and your newsletter is 
getting sent to you every night.

Possibly you got backstabbed with the new wacky tabs, that 
disorganize your Gmail inbox. Best to take the checkmarks 
off those thilly tabbies and hope, that sorting by receive 
date and time will return.

They don't seem to have the talent necessary for sorting by 
column like the good email programs have had for over 20 years, 
so they are trying to sort emails by category, without really 
understanding how you take care of your emails. Instead of 
leaving it sorted by date and time, they shuffle it by 
category. 

For example, they put all Linkedin, FaceBook, Twitter, etc. 
related mails in one bunch at the top, and your electrical 
bill and mail from your Sweetie and your subscriptions in 
another bunch somewhere else. If somebody is just a social 
butterfly and only using Gmail for playing on social 
networks, that concept MIGHT make sense. For the rest of us, 
it is a bloody nuisance.

Naturally, now most people miss important emails and can't 
find expected mails and they are cussing about "Blonde Logic" 
and wondering, what they are smoking at Gmail.

Luckily, it is easy to undo the wanky thillyness.

Look for the little gear at the right side and pull it down.
In there select "Configure Inbox".
In there, take the checkmark of all categories except PRIMARY.
Save and return to the Inbox.
You get back the extra space, that they stole off the top, and 
the thilly category sorting is gone.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Garlic as Remedy for Toothache
Garlic is another remedy that works on toothache pain. I 
place a sliver of garlic between the infected area of the 
tooth and cheek for as long as I can stand it, because 
the garlic has a peppery taste. The garlic, like cabbage, 
will draw out the infection and relieve the pain and 
swelling. Cloves work to numb the infected area also.

By dee53

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure
in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.
However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed
with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his
signature and was about to walk away when the man
asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't
think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars
around me who were going just as fast, so why did
*I* get the ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"





Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support
a family?"

The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no.  I was just
planning to support your daughter.  The rest of you will have
to fend for yourselves."



» The Louisville Slugger




Today, July 25, in
0326 Emperor Constantine refused to carry out the traditional 
 pagan sacrifices.
1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general 
 expulsion of Jews from France.
1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.
1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in 
 Japan and ordered all Christians to leave.
1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism 
 to Roman Catholicism.
1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara 
 in Canada.
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at 
 Aboukir, Egypt.
1845 China granted Belgium equal trading rights with Britain, 
 France and the United States.
1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR.
1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt.
1866 Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army. He was 
 the first American officer to hold the rank.
1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper.
1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan.
1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English Channel 
 in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover in 37 minutes. 
 He was the first man to fly across the channel.
1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian 
 sovereignty.
1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians.
1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese assets.
1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was overthrown 
 in a coup.
1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in the 
Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device.
1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first 
 woman to walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space 
 station Salyut 7.
1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that 
had existed between them since 1948.
1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only the 
 second American to win the race.
2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal 
 reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan from 2004-2010. 
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, July 24.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







Tammy called up the airline ticket counter and asked,
"How long are your flights from Los Angeles to Phoenix?"

The counterman answered, "Just a minute."

Tammy replied: "Wow, that's pretty fast!",
thanked him and hung up.


Win a $100 Starbucks Giftcard or an Iphone 5. 
No cost or obligation.
>From Paul:
My wife and I are inseparable.

In fact, last week it took four Mounties and a police dog
to pull us apart.

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, 
Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
Fix Windows quickly and safely!


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Click on the picture for the large version

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jonathan Savas, 24, Deland, Floriduh

Charged With Sitting On Baby's Head 
When Baby Refused To Go To Sleep

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Jonathan Savas, a 24-year-old Florida bonehead, has been 
jailed after he allegedly sat on his baby's head because 
the child wouldn't fall asleep.

According to Deland Police, Savas showed up at a female 
friend's mobile home Thursday night with his 10-month-old 
child while looking for a place to stay.

The baby, according to the arrest report, didn't have any 
clothing on when Savas arrived.

Investigators say Savas then became angry when the baby 
refused to stop crying and fall asleep. In retaliation, 
Savas allegedly placed the baby on a couch and sat on his 
head while the child screamed out in pain.

The female friend tried to intervene, however, Savas told 
her "It's my baby, I can do what I want."

The female friend reportedly waited until Savas left her 
residence to report the abuse because she was afraid he 
would harm her.

When officers caught up with Savas a couple of days later, 
he reportedly admitted to placing the child faced down on 
the couch and then placing his leg on top of the baby to 
force him to go to sleep.

Officers also recovered a hypodermic needle, baggies and 
a pill container from Savas' backpack.

He was booked into jail and charged with child abuse. His 
bond has been set at $50,000.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: -
Re: -

No Question


No answer

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Natural Ant Deterrent
My parents lived in Africa and had an infestation of army 
ants. A local boy gave my mother some brilliant advice; 
put ash in a ring around the house. The ants will be tricked 
into thinking there is a forest fire. My mother did this in 
a great panick to stop the ants swarming over me as a new 
baby and, like magic, the ants disappeared! I have an 
infestation in my kitchen at the moment so plan to put ash 
across the threshold where they are coming in and post a 
note if it does the trick on English black ants.

By fiona.me.mcintyre 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

I just came across this old tech support story. Totally
obsolete, but too good to just let it die.
Keep in mind that this is from a very long time ago,
when Windows came on a stack of floppy disks and when
a Mac's standard way of dealing with a PC floppy was to
destroy all data on it and format it.

An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a
Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.

Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to
install them on my home computer."

Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police,"
so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"

Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't
initialized."

Tech Support: "Oh Oh! Do you remember the message exactly,
ma'am?"

Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a
Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"

Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"

Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks
appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work,
and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to
format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks
for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED   
they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with   
the responsibility.   

One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times   
do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked   
after it?"   

After a moment, her 5-year-old son replied quizzically,   
"Er.... Once?"   



» Rubic's Cube




Today, July 24, in
1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived 
in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah.

1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press.

1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries of 
 modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland.

1929 U.S. President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, 
 which renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy.

1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West 
 Berlin. The U.S.-British airlift began the following day.

1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the 
 Pacific Ocean.

1974 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President 
 Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings 
 to the Watergate special prosecutor.

1985 Walt Disney released their 25th full-length cartoon. 
 The work was "The Black Cauldron."

1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda 
 became the oldest person to climb Japan’s highest peak. 

2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 23.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







The future will be better tomorrow.
--- Dan Quayle (1947 - )

I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things 
people believe.
--- Leo Rosten (1908 - )


When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing
a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.  If it comes
out of the ground easily or breaks off, it was a valuable plant.


A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local
copy store and asks the clerk to put it on disk for him.
He does.

They are both looking at the monitor to see the results,
and the man asks if the picture can be turned.

"Sure" says the clerk.

The man replies, "Good, I need a shot of the back of my
house also."

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, 
Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
Fix Windows quickly and safely!



Click on the picture for the large version

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Sarah Maria Torres, 33, Sugar Land, TX

Charged With Having Sex With 
Daughter's 14-Year-Old Ex Boyfriend

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Sarah Maria Torres, a 33-year-old Texas woman, was jailed 
Tuesday after she allegedly had sex with her daughter's 
14-year-old ex boyfriend.

According to Sugar Land Police, an investigation was 
launched after the boy told a family member about the sexual 
relationship that he had with his ex-girlfriend's mother.

Investigators say the alleged sexual relationship took place 
on May 23 when the boy stayed home from school. Torres and 
the boy both live on the same street.

The boy's mother reportedly provided officers with evidence 
that corroborates her son's account of the relationship, 
according to the arrest affidavit.

Torres was booked into the Fort Bend County Jail and charged 
with sexual assault of a child. 
Her bond has been set at $150,000.

Somehow, I would not be surprised if it turns out that the
boy framed her because she terminated his relationship 
with her daughter.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Darlene
Re: Elongated pictures

Dear Webby
 Love your Humor letter especially the tech help.
You gave some advise on making things larger including
pictures, can't remember when you gave it, I followed the
instructions and things are larger. But my pictures are all
elongated and another thing happened at the same time.
When ever I hit my mouse it makes a loud click from my
desktop when I change pages. Also on my IM the sub-titles
across the top are like high lighted. What did I do wrong
and how do I go back to the way it was?

Thank you
Darlene

Dear Darlene
The reason your pictures appear elongated is probably that
you chose a setting intended for a wide aspect ratio monitor.
Right-click on the desktop,
Properties
Settings
and in there try different resolutions.
I use 1600 x 1200. That looks fine on my monitor, and 
when I design a 5" x 6" ad, it measures precisely 5" x 6" 
on the screen.

So, play with the resolution settings until you find one
that suits your monitor and your eyes.

If you got stuck with a sawed off  (wide) monitor, they
say that eventually your eyes get used to it, as long as
you are not working with spreadsheets.

Re the mouse click, you can set that in the Control Panel,
Mouse.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reuse Cookie and Cracker Package Trays
Don't throw out the plastic trays from cookie and cracker 
bags! They work great as holders for beads or paper pieces 
for your crafts, but you can also use them as mini-green 
houses and flower pots.

By Angela L. from Sault Ste Marie, ON 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

What happens when you have deja vu and amnesia at the
same time?

You have the feeling that you're forgetting the same thing
all over again.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter
Paradise , God appeared and said, "I want the men to make
two lines.
One line for the men who were true heads of their household,
and the other line for the men who were dominated by their
women.
I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.

The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was
100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads
of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves,
I created you to be the head of your household! You have
been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose!
Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the
only one in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."



» Poland's Underground Salt Cathedral




Today, July 23, in
1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for 
 construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.
1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston, MA.
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first 
 typewriter.
1877 The first municipal railroad passenger service began in 
 Cincinnati, Ohio.
1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches 
 during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO.
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following 
 the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. 
 The dispute led to World War I.
1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed in 
 service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad.
1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser 
 overthrew King Farouk I.
1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, 
 under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission 
 was to be the first vessel to cross the north pole by ship. 
 The Nautilus achieved the goal on August 3, 1958.
1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first live 
 TV broadcast to Europe.
1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour de 
 France bicycling competition.
1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first 
 Earth-resources satellite.
1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after 
 it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in 
 "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title.
1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at 
 Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996.
1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned out 
 more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique.
2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 21.

OK, for all those who asked for a picture of me at the 
waterfall, not just some silly little tree, here is one
from shortly before I did my canyon edge dance.


Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







The secret of all success is to know how to deny yourself. 
Prove that you can control yourself, and you are an educated 
man; and without this all other education is good for nothing.
--- R. D. Hitchcock

Walking is the best possible exercise. 
Habituate yourself to walk very far.
--- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

OK, OK, I AM walking every day for about an hour, 
and even taking Barb's family dog for a walk. 
(Barb lives a block away.)


>From Dave
I wasn't surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a 
Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," 
she begged. 

"I won't," I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?"

She replied, "Honesty."


>A real old Classic from Rex
Don't Try This At Home!

A formula for inner peace...please read completely:

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked 
for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By 
following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, 
I have finally found inner peace. On the show, Dr. Phil 
proclaimed:

"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the 
things you've started."

So I looked around my house to see all the things I started 
and hadn't finished and before leaving the house this morning, 
I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, 
a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kailua, a package of Oreos, 
the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the 
rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of 
chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
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Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
Fix Windows quickly and safely!


Thanks to Clyde for this picture:

Click on the picture for the large version
In a river in Slovakia

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Kimberly Womach, 34, New Port Richey, Floriduh

Jailed After Driving Drunk To 
McDonalds, Demanding Free Big Macs

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Kimberly Womach, a 34-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Sunday 
morning when she allegedly pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru 
drunk and demanded a free breakfast.

According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Womach pulled 
up to a McDonald's drive-thru at about 6 a.m. Sunday and 
demanded that they give her two free Big Macs because she 
was unsatisfied with a purchase she had received during a 
previous visit.

When the staff informed her that they didn't have any 
Big Macs available because they were serving breakfast, 
Womach demanded two free Egg McMuffins instead.

When employees informed Womach that she wouldn't be receiving 
a free breakfast and needed to leave, Womach parked her car 
in the drive-thru and refused to move.

After ten minutes of arguing with Womach, store employees 
called authorities who arrived on the scene a few minutes 
later.

Deputies noted a heavy smell of alcohol on Womach's breath 
as she informed them that her rights had been violated by 
the restaurant because they wouldn't meet her demands.

After failing a field sobriety test, Womach was booked into 
jail and charged with driving under the influence. She was 
released later the same day after posting bond.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Melody
Re: No newsletter on Gmail

Dear Webby
It has been over a week since I have received your 
newspaper. Did I miss something?

Dear Melody
Your newsletter has been sent to you every night.
Check your SPAM folder.

You will probably have to make a filter to tell 
Gmail to NOT put the Humor Letter into SPAM.

Just go into Settings, Filters.
Once you find the spot, it is quite  easy.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Face Paint with Oil
You can remove face paint or other make up with olive oil 
or coconut oil. Put some oil on a cotton ball and rub on 
the face paint. Use another cotton ball to wipe up the 
excess paint. Finish by washing your face with soap 
and water.

By Stella Bella

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Quebec Math
Thibodeau wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until
he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question,"
the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the
number 9."

"Witout numbers?" Thibodeau says, "Dat is easy."
And he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,"
says Thibodeau.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question.
Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

Thibodeau stares into space for a while, then picks up the
picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each
tree.  "Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you
get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree,
and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have
to hire this guy, so he says, "All right, last question.  Same
rules again, but represent the number 100."

Thibodeau stares into space some more, then he picks up
the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each
tree and says, "Ere you go. One hunnerd."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think
that represents a hundred!"

Thibodeau leans forward and points to the marks at the base
of each tree and says, "A little doggie came along and crap
by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree
and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hunnerd.
So, when I start?"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Summer Season


» Summer Season




Today, July 22, in
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats 
 out of town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke 
 Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under 
 mysterious circumstances.
1796 Cleveland was founded by Gen. Moses Cleaveland.
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea 
 for the first time since being launched on October 21/1797
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated 
 the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain.
1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New 
 York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying 
 at 250 feet.
1937 The U.S. Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal 
 to add more justices to the Supreme Court.
1943 American forces led by Gen. George S. Patton captured 
 Palermo, Sicily.
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. 
 citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress.
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti 
 tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from 
 possible attack by Iran.
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching 
 Israel or Saudi Arabia.
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that 
 they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter.
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai 
 were killed in a gunfight with U.S. forces.
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the 
 Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no 
 injuries were reported.
2004 The September 11 commission's final report was released. 
 The 575-page report concluded that hijackers exploited 
 "deep institutional failings within our government." 
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, 
 lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over 
 parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean. 
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, July 21.



By now, everyone's just about had it with the Westboro 
Baptist Church, a group whose members use national tragedies 
as opportunities to forward anti-gay hate speech. Ironically, 
their planned protests often bring communities together in 
opposition to their message. 

Some of you will remember the "Pervert Alerts", where I listed
the locations, where the perverts were planning to be a 
nuisance at a hero's funeral. Eventually some laws were
created, forcing the perverts to stay away from funerals.

After the ACLU forced the government to order the military 
to accept gay people. After that, the Westboro Perverts 
started their protest actions, making a racket at heros 
funerals and screamming that IEDs were God's revenge
and they were thanking God for killing soldiers.
They were also doing their insane protests at the funerals
of miners killed in mine accidents, claiming that the mine 
accidents were God's punishment for allowing gay people 
into the military. I really don't give a hoot about the 
gay issue, but I don't think it gives the perverts a right
to be a nuisance at a hero's funeral.

Now, an unlikely group has mounted an offensive against 
the perverts.
On Sunday, July 14, the Satanic Temple, a New York-based 
organization that seeks to foster "benevolence and empathy 
among all people" through Satan, performed a ritual called 
a "pink mass" at the Mississippi gravesite of Catherine 
Idalette Johnston, mother of WBC founder Fred Phelps Jr.

The aim? To "turn" the WBC founder's mom gay for all eternity.
"Upon completion of the pink mass ceremony, Catherine Johnston 
is now gay in the afterlife," notes the Satanic Temple website, 
which has the cheeky URL www.westboro-baptist.com. 
"Fred Phelps is obligated to believe that his mother is now gay ... 
[and] if beliefs are inviolable rights, nobody has the right to 
challenge our right to believe that Fred Phelps believes that 
his mother is now gay."

The latter assertion appears to be a play on the WBC's own 
stance that their beliefs are totally infallible.

The Pink Mass was performed twice -- once with two gay men, 
and once with two lesbians -- in an affirmation of the 
Satanist Temple's belief in "freedom and the pursuit of 
happiness for all people." The temple is now encouraging 
same-sex couples to visit the grave and perform their own 
pink masses.

According to the Satanist Temple website, temple spokesman 
Lucien Greaves officiated the ceremonies while wearing horned 
headgear, and then proceeded to put his penis on Johnston's 
grave

Even though I am neither gay nor a Satanist, I find it 
hilarious that the Satanists are mocking the perverts.
More details and pictures are at Pink Mass

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







There was a definite process by which one made people into 
friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to 
them for hours at a time.
--- Rebecca West (1892 - 1983)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who
mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
--- Dr. Seuss


Thanks to Martin for this story:
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the \
"seniors's special"     was two eggs, bacon, hash browns
and toast for $1.99.

"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents
because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned
her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" My wife
asked incredulously.
"YES!!"
"I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home.


After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quiet.
Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him
sobbing.

"What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father.

Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he
wanted us brought up in a good Christian home,
but, but, but I want to stay with you guys!"

Smart PC Fixer
Fix Windows Errors & Optimize Your System
No Blue Screen, No Lock up, No Errors, 
Less Garbage Files, no memory shortage!  
Faster and Smoother Running System. 
Fix Windows quickly and safely!



Click on the picture for the large version

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Ashley Taylor Wright, 23, Pensacola, Floriduh

Ashley Wright To Deputy: 
"You Will Have To Shoot 
Through My Baby To Get To Me"

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Ashley Taylor Wright, a 23-year-old Florida woman, was jailed 
Monday after she allegedly threw her baby at deputies when 
they tried to arrest her for shoplifting.

According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, Wright was 
at the Santa Rosa Mall in Mary Esther Monday evening when 
she allegedly used a baby stroller to smuggle $260 worth of 
clothing out of a Dillards department store.

When a deputy approached her out in the parking lot, she 
hopped into a car and told her husband (who was the get-away 
driver) to flee the scene.

When the deputy blocked the vehicle and ordered Wright to 
exit the vehicle, she held up her baby and told the deputy 
"You will have to shoot through the baby to get to me."

She then tossed the child, who was strapped into a baby 
carrier, at the deputy's head and tried to flee the scene 
on foot.

The deputy ducked and avoided getting hit by thw bay in the 
baby carrier and promptly tackled the bimbo to the pavement 
and placed her into custody.

Wright was booked into the Okaloosa County Jail and charged 
with child abuse, petty theft and resisting an officer.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Eliza
Re: How long to keep blacklist?

Dear Webby
You mentioned at one time how long to keep addresses in
the Mailwasher blacklist. I am quite happy with MailWasher,
but I noticed that the blacklist file is getting quite large, and
sooner or later that must be putting a load on my machine.
And how do you deal with spammers that keep changing
their forged sending addresses?
Eliza

Dear Eliza
MailWasher generally ignores the sender address, unless
it is in the blacklist, since most spammers forge their
sender address anyway. MailWasher checks the content
of spam.

Persistent spammers like the Bed & Bath crooks are best
dealt with a filter. It takes 20 seconds to make a filter, and
you never see mail from those crooks again.

To keep the blacklist short and fast, I age it off in two days.
By then the spammers usually change their address
anyway.

For those of you who haven't got MailWasher yet, click
on the MailWasher button in the left side menu and get
a free trial copy. If you are only getting the plain text
version, you can get the free trial at
http://webby.com/mailwasher
http://webby.com/mailwasher

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Conditioner For Shaving
Ever wonder what to use those 'conditioner' samples that 
come in the mail or brands you didn't care for? Well, 
wonder no more! I keep those little gems for when I 
need to shave. 

I find the packets difficult to open in the shower, so 
just pre-open them or squeeze them all into a bottle or 
jar. Much cheaper than shaving gel or foam, and much 
nicer on your skin. A breeze when travelling too!

By Laurie Young F. 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on
display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.

"Yeah, my mom has one," the other replied.

"What's it for?"

"It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered.
"Every time she stands on it she gets really mad and starts
cussing at me or dad."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Leroy was visiting a friend in the hospital.
He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on
an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A lady said to
him with a snarl, 'Sir, there's no smoking in here.'

"Leroy said, " Lady, I'm not smoking."

"But you have a cigar in your mouth!", the woman said.

"'Lady",  Leroy answered, "I'm wearing Jockey shorts,
too, but I don't ride horses indoors either."



»  Canada's Ghost Train




Today, July 21, in
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was proclaimed 
 King of the Belgians.

1861 The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. 
 It was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. 
 The Confederates won the battle.
1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes 
 was convicted of violating the state law for teaching 
 Darwin's theory of evolution. The conviction was later 
 overturned.
1930 The Veterans’ Administration of the United States 
 was established.
1931 CBS aired the first regularly scheduled program to be 
 simulcast on radio and television. The show featured singer 
 Kate Smith, composer George Gershwin and New York City Mayor 
 Jimmy Walker.
1931 The Reno Race Track inaugurated the daily double 
 in the U.S.
1940 Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the 
 Soviet Union.
1944 American forces landed on Guam during World War II.
1949 The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.
1954 The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into 
 North Vietnam and South Vietnam.
1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled that 
 "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book.
1961 Capt. Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second American to 
 rocket into a sub-orbital pattern around the Earth. He was flying 
 on the Liberty Bell 7.
1968 Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a million dollars 
 in career earnings after he tied for second place at the PGA 
 Championship.
1980 Draft registration began in the United States for 19 and 
 20-year-old men.
1987 Mary Hart, of "Entertainment Tonight", had her legs insured 
 by Lloyd’s of London for $2 million.
1997 The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the United States 
 during the War of 1812, set sail under its own power for the 
 first time in 116 years.
2004 White House officials were briefed on the September 11 
 commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded that 
 hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within our 
 government." The report was released to the public the next day.
2007 The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series, 
 "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released.
2011 Space Shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center 
 in Florida. It was the last flight of NASA's space shuttle 
 program. 
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, July 20.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who
mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
--- Dr. Seuss

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, 
the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
--- P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - )

Anyone who has gumption knows what it is, 
and anyone who hasn't can never know what it is. 
So there is no need of defining it.
--- L. M. Montgomery (1874 - 1942)


Thanks to Cookie for this one:
LADY'S MEDICAL
During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says 
"Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine.
Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds 
of trouble."
 
The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted 
by the doctor.
 
"No! No! Don't remove your panties.
Just stick out your tongue!"


The Secrets To Successful Candle Making
Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite 
Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working 
With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research 
Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner 
And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles
on eBay and at fairs. 
Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!


The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand-new business
much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge
sign which read BEST DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his
right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign,
reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea.
He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read:

MAIN ENTRANCE.



Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Miaya Ramirez, 31 and hubby Saint Ramirez, 23 
in Gering, Nebraska

Couple jailed For Post-Wedding Sex In Park

Reported by The Smoking Gun
JULY 18--A couple who this week celebrated their wedding by 
having sex in public view at a Nebraska park will be spending 
their honeymoon in separate jail cells after they pleaded 
guilty yesterday to indecent exposure.

Police arrested Saint Ramirez, 23, and his bride Miaya, 31, 
after being summoned to the Oregon Trail Park by a trio of 
teenagers who reported spotting the duo having sex near 
“a big pine tree” around 8 PM.

When a Gering Police Department officer drove his cruiser 
up to the tree, he saw “Miaya had her pants off and her 
buttocks exposed. Miaya was moving in an up and down motion 
on Saint,” according to a probable cause affidavit. 
“Saint had his pants pulled down to approximately his ankles,” 
added Officer Michael Modec.

While the patrolman loudly advised them to stop, Saint and 
Miaya continued to have sex. The pair eventually complied and 
got dressed, laughing as they put their pants back on. 
The pair was trysting near a playground and the park swimming 
pool, and “numerous children” were in the immediate area, 
Modec reported.

Asked by the cop what they were doing, “Saint stated they 
were having sex and had just gotten married.”

The newlyweds, pictured in the above mug shots, were in the 
park with friends and family, including Miaya’s five-year-old 
daughter (apparently as part of an al fresco wedding reception).

After pleading guilty yesterday to public indecency, a 
misdemeanor, 
Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez were each sentenced to 30 days in jail. 

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Kim
Re: Yahoo email problem

Dear Webby, 
i have not received a humor letter for a long time  now....
what happened?

Kim

Dear Kim
I can't do more than sending it out to you.
Yahoo usually drops it. There is nothing I can do about 
Yahoo's  problems.
Just get a respectable address on the side, like a Gmail 
address, or an address based on your ISP.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Conditioner For Shaving
Ever wonder what to use those 'conditioner' samples that 
come in the mail or brands you didn't care for? Well, 
wonder no more! I keep those little gems for when I 
need to shave. 

I find the packets difficult to open in the shower, so 
just pre-open them or squeeze them all into a bottle or 
jar. Much cheaper than shaving gel or foam, and much 
nicer on your skin. A breeze when travelling too!

By Laurie Young F. 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Keli was having trouble with her computer. So she called
Paul, the eight year old kid next door, over to her jouse.
Paul clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As 
he was walking away, Keli called after him, 
"So, what was wrong?"

And Paul replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."

A puzzled expression ran riot over Keli's face.
"An ID Ten T Error? What's that ... in case I need 
to fix it again??"

Paul gave her a grin...
"Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?"

"No," replied Keli.

"Write it down," Paul said, "and I think you'll figure 
it out."

She wrote: I D 1 0 T
Keli USED TO like the little jerk before that.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed,
hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel,
smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well
looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, in her mid
eighties.

The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders
a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says,
"Plese tell me, do I come here often?"



»  Tearless Onion Cutting:




Today, July 20, in
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of 
Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a 
horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas 
Jefferson at the White House.
1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain.
1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed 
 on all cigarette packs was passed.
1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian 
 province.
1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the 
 Battle  of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal 
 troops. (Montana)
1908 In the United States, the Sullivan Ordinance bars women 
 from  smoking in public facilities.
1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation.
1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps
 began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa.
1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate
 Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg 
 headquarters. Hitler was only wounded.
1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an 
 unprecedented fourth term of office at the Democratic 
 National Convention in Chicago.
1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. 
Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon.
1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus.
1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful 
 landing on Mars.
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of 
 comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely.
1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and 
 silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." 
 The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key West, FL.
1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet Revolution 
 against communism, stepped down as president of Czechoslovakia.
1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International 
 Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.
2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began wearing 
 reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night work
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, July 19.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







Love is the difficult realization that something 
other than oneself is real.
--- Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999) 

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief 
denied even to prayer.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)


An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn 
construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers 
and decided to spend  some time with them to correct their 
ways.  She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the 
workers and talk with them.

She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the 
spot where the men were eating.  She walked up to the group 
and with a big smile said, 
"Do you men know Jesus Christ?"
 
They looked at each other and shook their heads.  One of 
the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, 
"Anybody up there know Jesus  Christ?"

One of the steelworkers yelled down asking, "Why"?

The worker yelled back, "His wife's here with his lunch."


The Secrets To Successful Candle Making
Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite 
Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working 
With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research 
Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner 
And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles
on eBay and at fairs. 
Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!


Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old!" Well, you're gonna love this one...

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his diploma hanging on the wall. It bore his full name and I suddenly remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name. He had been in my high school class some 40-odd years before and I wondered, "Could he be the same guy I had a secret crush on way back then?"

When I got into the treatment room I quickly discarded any 
such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply 
lined face was much too old to have been my secret crush... 
or was he?
 
After he examined my teeth I asked if he had attended 
Morgan Park High School. 

"Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang!" He said, gleaming with pride. 

"When did you graduate?" I asked. 

"1969. Why do you ask?" he answered. 

"Well, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. 

To which the ugly, old, wrinkled jerk replied, 
"What did you teach?"



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

 Kristina Michelle Brown, 23, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

I Had Sex With My Cat And Everyone Knows," 
Oklahoma Woman Explained To Arresting Officer

Reported by Moe
Convinced that a neighbor spoke to others about her having 
sex with a cat, an Oklahoma woman allegedly threatened 
the man with a knife, saying, “Do you wanna die?”

Oklahoma City cops arrested Kristina Michelle Brown following 
her bizarre confrontation Monday afternoon with 72-year-old 
Elmer Morrison. The 23-year-old Brown was charged with 
assault and battery with a deadly weapon, a felony, and 
booked into jail, where she is being held in lieu of 
$5000 bail.

According to an Oklahoma City Police Department report, 
Morrison told a cop that Brown had been standing at 
the fence between their houses yelling, “Come outside 
I know you are in there.” With a small pocket knife 
in hand, Brown then repeatedly asked, “Do you wanna die?”

When police questioned Brown, she explained she was upset 
with Morrison “because of what he did to me.” 

When a cop asked what he did to her, she replied, 
“Because everyone knows.” 
She then said, “I had sex with my cat and everyone knows.”

A puzzled cop asked Brown (pictured above) what role 
Morrison had in the cat sex. She replied that her 
next-door neighbor had “no connection” to the act, 
saying that she was “just mad because everyone knows.”

Investigators reported that Brown said Morrison 
“does not know about what she did with the cat, she is 
just mad at him and wants him to die.”

In an interview, Morrison, a retired salesman, was 
incredulous when told of Brown’s statements to police. 
“This is news to me,” Morrison said, adding that he had 
little interaction with Brown, who has lived next to him 
(along with assorted family members, cats, and dogs) for 
several years.

Morrison said that Brown sometimes appeared “glassy-eyed,” 
and hung out with a crowd that assembled near a local 
head shop.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Pennie
Re: Resizing pictures in a Forward

Dear Webby, 
Thank you so much for the newsletters coming my way and 
all the wonderful information.   I am curious to know how 
your health is doing, the last time you told about your eyes, 
is there any improvement?   
I hope and pray that it is better.

Today I have a question that is bothering  --  is there any 
way that you can re-size pictures in a e-mail, 
(all different sizes)  all at once when you want to forward 
or do you have to do them one by one?    
Your answer will be greatly appreciated and I am sure 
helpful to many people.
Pennie

Dear Pennie
The eye specialist claims there is some improvement with 
my eyes. He is referring to the macular and the danger 
of going blind.
My ability to see has not improved. If you were close enough, 
I would probably supplement with my Braille readers '-)

Re resizing pictures, if you forward, then you can't change
anything.
If you want to change stuff, you basically have to recreate 
the email and resize saved pictures one at a time.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Frozen Juice as Mini Lunch Ice Packs
Save Naked or Odwalla juice bottles and fill with water 
and freeze. These are just the right size for a child's 
lunch box. When they thaw, you can have cold water to 
drink. These are also useful for placing in a larger 
cooler.

By Monica from Cortez, CO 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Thanks to David for this story:
Lisa, my co-worker at the travel agency, needed to send
a letter of apology to a customer whose trip was a complete
fiasco from start to finish. I reminded her of a similar
situation a year earlier and dug out the letter I'd written
then.

"All you have to do," I told her, "is to change the details,
the date, and the name."

She looked it over and smiled wryly.
"We won't even need to change the name."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and
says:
"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and
pains.  I know you're about my age.  How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really!?  Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep.  No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.



» Polarized Bruins




Today, July 18, in
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau 
 League to fight against the Reformation.
1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as 
 Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. 
 Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen.
1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market.
1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic 
 translations into Greek, was found in Egypt.
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, 
 NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention.
1870 France declared war on Prussia.
1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 
 B-24 bombers attacked Rome for the first time.
1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test.
1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after 
 being linked in orbit for two days.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 18

I took a friend up to Sheep River Falls yesterday evening.
The flood sure made a mess up there! Somehow I had not
expected any flood damage that high up in the mountains.
It took all the picknic benches near the parking area and 
messed up the road and parking area.

Down by the river there were uprooted trees and bushes
in chaotic piles twenty feet high along the shore. The trail
along the shore was of course gone or under that jumble.

The high trail was not too bad, just barely passable until
the spot, where there used to be a bridge over cut from a tiny
trickle creek. When my secretary Barb's son Malcolm got 
married to Cindy, I took a picture of them on that bridge. 
That bridge was gone. 

Well, I knew a way around that.
The big eye opener was on the rocks past the canyon.
There used to be a tree on a rocky point overlooking the 
canyon and looking very photogenic. It looked weird with
that tree gone, and part of that rocky [oint too.

Further past the canyon trees had snagged bushes and roots
and all kinds of flotsam. 



Those little trees were 120 feet above the normal water level!
And there were some huge junks of rock missing. Sure, the
side of the canyon and the rocks were cracked, but the pieces
that were knocked off and are missing must have weighed 
quite a few tons! The newly exposed rock loocked quite
different from the weathered old rock. 

Sharp edges too, I found out the hard way, when I slipped 
and stumbled and did a bit of dancing on my shins, so as
not to catch myself with my hand, that held the camera.

It must have looked hilarious me doing some weird dance 
at the edge of the canyon, camera held high, and flailing 
with my free hand. I did regain my balance without going 
down, but sure left some blood and skin off my shins on 
the rocks. No big deal, shins heal. The main thing is that
the camera was not damaged.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
--- Ambrose Bierce. 

"There are two things in the universe that are 
truly abundant: Hydrogen and Stupidity." 
--- Frank Zappa 


Thanks to NanaRina for this:
Why seniors still need newspapers
 
I was visiting my granddaughter last night when I asked if I 
could borrow a newspaper.
 
"This is the 21st century," she said.  We don't waste money 
on newspapers.  Here, use my iPad."
 
I can tell you this.  That fly never knew what hit him. 


The Secrets To Successful Candle Making
Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite 
Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working 
With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research 
Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner 
And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles
on eBay and at fairs. 
Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!


Dr Bill replied re the Texan tractor yesterday:
Old Zeke finally decided to give up using Mules, and buy one 
of them new-fangled tractors.
The salesman told him it would cut his work in half - 
so he bought two.



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Benton Mackenzie, 47, and his wife, Loretta, 41, 
in Long Grove, Iowa

They just don't get it

Reported by Sailor

Deputies were turning to leave the Mackenzies' Long Grove, 
Iowa, home, when Benton Mackenzie allegedly called them 
back in to show them a court document.

There on the coffee table in the basement, the deputies 
spotted a gram of marijuana and a pipe, Scott County 
Sheriff's Lt. Bryce Schmidt said.

Now Benton Mackenzie, 47, and his wife, Loretta, 41, 
are charged for the third time in three years with drug 
possession. The two were in the Scott County Jail on 
Monday on misdemeanor charges as well as felony charges 
because they violated probation. 

A Scott County judge had given each of them probation 
in 2011 after they pleaded guilty to Class D felony 
charges of drug possession/delivery. Now they each 
face five years in prison for violating terms of the 
probation, which included abstaining from marijuana use.

They allegedly violated those terms last month, when 
deputies searched their home at 27120 183rd Ave., and 
seized 50 to 75 marijuana plants. They were charged then 
with drug possession/delivery and spent a day in jail.

Their 21-year-old son, Cody Mackenzie, was charged with 
misdemeanor drug possession. Benton Mackenzie's 
74-year-old parents, Dorothy and Charles Mackenzie, 
were charged with hosting a drug house, an aggravated 
misdemeanor.

After the June 21 search and arrest of the couple, the 
Iowa Department of Corrections was notified of the new 
charges and sent Scott County Sheriff's deputies to 
their home last Thursday to serve probation violation 
warrants. Schmidt said that's when the deputies spotted 
the marijuana on the coffee table.

"They just don't get it," Schmidt said.
They even look happy on their mug shots, as if getting
free room and board away from each other for five years
was the goal, that they tried to accomplish.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Ann
Re: PPS

Dear Webby
...'sme again. I have sent a PPS file to my friend but he 
cannot open it. I think because he is still using XP. Do I 
have to convert it or do something to it, so that he can
open it?
Thanks for you help.
Hugs   Ann

Dear Ann
Windows XP has nothing to do with that.
All he needs is a normal pps PowerPoint viewer.
He can get one free from Microsoft.

The easiest way to get it is to go to
http://webby.com/pps
That forwards to the mile long link at Microsoft.

There are other free PPS viewers available, but that one
is quite OK for beginners.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Microwave Cloves Before Peeling
If you have multiple cloves of garlic to peel, zap them in 
the microwave for 5-10 seconds. Let them cool for a minute 
or two, since they get pretty hot. The skins will easily 
slip off.

By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Thanks to Glen for this one:
A man was just getting himself seated at the bar when another man arrived and as he seated himself said "I'll have a Waterlou". 

The first man thought that the drink sounded interesting and also told the bartender "I would like what he ordered, I too will have a waterlou". 

The bartender set before them both a tall glass with clear 
liquid and a lemon wedge. Taking a big swig, the first man 
almost sprayed it out through his mouth and had a fit of 
coughing. "That tastes just like water!" he choked out. 

The second man said, "That's what you ordered, right Lou?"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Our college just completed a new three-story building. While   
walking down a hall on the 2nd floor, I overheard two   
students say, "I really like the skylights on the 3rd floor."   

"Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they   
didn't just put some on the 2nd floor too."
---------   
Political Science students?



» Hyper Realistic Art




Today, July 18, in
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began.
1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England.
1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to 
 back the French Revolution.
1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing 
 for secret election ballots.
1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation 
 division called the Signal Corps.
1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the 
 St. Lawrence Seaway.
1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to 
 fight to the last man against the invading Italian army.
1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of 
 General Body Company’s factory in Chicago, IL.
1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco 
 led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa.
1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to 
 fly in combat, made its first flight.
1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the 
 battle of the hedgerows.
1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and 
 war minister due to setbacks suffered by his country
 in World War II.
1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull 
 their troops out of Vietnam.
2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore 
 train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days 
 and virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several 
 days. (Maryland) 
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 17

Thank you Bonita!
Thank you, Frank!




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
--- Dean Martin

People always call it luck when you've acted 
more sensibly than they have.
--- Anne Tyler (1941 - ),


Thanks to Lisa for this story:
I was on vacation, playing the slot machines.  It was my
first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines
operated.
"Excuse me." I said to a casino employee.
"How does this work?"

The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin
button, and operate the release handle.

"And where does the money come out?" I asked.

He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying,
"Usually at the ATM machine down there....."


The Secrets To Successful Candle Making
Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite 
Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working 
With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research 
Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner 
And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles
on eBay and at fairs. 
Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!


A Texan is bragging to his cousin in Montana. "On mah fahrm
in Taxas," he drawls, "I can git on mah tractor, ride all
daiy long, and still be on mah fahrm by nightfohl."

"Yeah", replies his cousin, "I know what you mean. I once
used to have a John Deere tractor like that too."



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Brittany Harris, 25, West Palm Beach, Floriduh

Jailed After Leaving Two Young Children 
Alone In Parking Lot To Watch Concert

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Brittany Harris, a 25-year-old Florida bonehead, was jailed 
Sunday after she left her two young children out in a 
crowded parking lot while she attended a Lil Wayne concert.

According to the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office, a deputy 
was working the Lil Wayne concert at the Cruzan Amphitheater 
Sunday night when a concert staff member brought him two 
children (ages 3 and 5) who had been abandoned out in the 
parking lot by their mother.

The staff member told the deputy that the two children were 
observed alone out in the parking lot for several hours 
before they were questioned about where their parent(s) 
might be.

Investigators say the children told the staff member and 
deputies that their mother, identified as Brittany Harris, 
left them in the parking lot to attend the concert.

About 45 minutes later, deputies made contact with Harris 
in the parking lot as she was leaving the concert.

Harris initially told deputies that her cousin brought 
the children to the concert. She then admitted to bringing 
the children and then leaving them in the car so she 
could watch the concert.

Harris was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail and 
charged with two counts of child neglect. Her bond has 
been set at $6,000.

The two children were placed into protective custody. 

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Tuck
Re: Get rid of Windows log-on prompt

Dear Webby
You have a great newsletter it is the first one I read 
every day. Keep up the good work.
How do I get rid of the log on prompt in Windoze 7?
I want to turn the computer on, go make coffee, and 
expect it to be up and ready for me, when I get back to it.
Thanks
Tuck

Dear Tuck
Click on START
and paste this into the Search field:
netplwiz
It will eventually find it and  show it highlighted in a 
search window. 

You will, after a few seconds, get a screen named 
USER ACCOUNTS
Among other information you see a checkmarked checkbox.
by a line about User must enter name and password
Take that checkmark off, hit Hit APPLY and OK.

That is all there is to it.
No problem at all, as long as you know that top secret 
wizzards spell:
netplwiz

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Store Puzzle Pieces in Ziploc Bags
My toddler grandson loves puzzles. We have many boxes of 
them - 35-55 pieces each. So the pieces don't get mixed 
up with other puzzles, I bag each puzzle in a zip locked 
baggy (sandwich size) and place it back into the puzzle 
box. No lost pieces or mixed up puzzles. 

By Shirley from Shepherdsville, KY 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Thaks to Mona for this story:
Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress,
he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching
post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me.
"I'll have him trained in no time."

I watched for several days as my husband patiently
"trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched,
my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.

The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he
wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know
what we mean by sins of omission?"

A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have
committed, but didn't?"



» Hyper Realistic Art




Today, July 17, in
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade.
1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, 
 which ended the 100 Years' War.
1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at 
 Rochefort, France.
1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S.
1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath 
 the Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709.
1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took 
 Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War.
1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name.
1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin 
 Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives 
 for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department 
 employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. 
 The building became known as the Pentagon.
1945 U.S. President Truman, Soviet leader Josef Stalin and 
 British Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill began meeting 
 at Potsdam in the final Allied summit of World War II. 
 During the meeting Stalin made the comment that 
 "Hitler had escaped."
1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist 
 army on the Yangtze River.
1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a 
 Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over 
 the Soviet Union.
1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North 
 Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes.
1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft 
 in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and 
 Soviet Union.
1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its 
 last 400 stores.
1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the 
 genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 16




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
--- Alan Perlis


Thanks to Connie for this:
My mother-in-law says that she can not understand how the 
lackluster, low mentality, loser that her daughter had the 
misfortune to marry could have produced such smart, 
intelligent, beautiful, and wonderful grandchildren.

She is inclined to believe that genetics skips every 
other generation.
Therefore she is not holding out much hope for her 
great-grandchildren.


The Secrets To Successful Candle Making
Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite 
Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working 
With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research 
Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner 
And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles
on eBay and at fairs. 
Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!


I was helping a friend of mine with his roadside farm stand   
when a man stopped by and asked how much the eggs were.   

"Sixty cents for the small, seventy cents for the medium,   
ninety cents for the large and thirty cents for the cracked   
ones," I answered.   

"All right," he said, "crack me a dozen of the large ones."   



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Edwin Charles Tobergta, 34, Hamilton, Ohio

 Edwin Tobergta - Jailed After Having Sex With 
Pool Raft….. Again!

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Edwin Charles Tobergta, a 34-year-old Ohio man, was 
jailed Wednesday after he was allegedly caught by a child 
having sex with a rubber raft.

And if this story seems a little too familiar, there's a 
reason for that. This isn't Edwin's first incident that 
involves having sex with inflatable objects.

In August, 2011 Tobergta was arrested when he stole a 
neighbor's pool raft and began having sex with it.

This time Tobergta was arrested after he allegedly stripped 
naked and began having sex with a pink inflatable pool raft 
in an ally behind his home.

The incident took place in front of several children, one 
of who was the owner of the raft. Tobergta picked up the 
raft and went back into his home after one of the children 
shouted at him to stop.

Besides the 2011 incident, Tobergta was also arrested in 
2002 when he was caught having sex with an inflatable 
pumpkin. Tobergta has been jailed at least 5 times in 
recent years for similar acts.

Tobergta, who has now been indicted by a grand jury, 
was booked into the Butler County Jail and charged 
with felony public indecency. He remains held in 
lieu of $25,000 bond.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Eliza
Re: How long to keep blacklist?

Dear Webby
You mentioned at one time how long to keep addresses in
the Mailwasher blacklist. I am quite happy with MailWasher,
but I noticed that the blacklist file is getting quite large, and
sooner or later that must be putting a load on my machine.
And how do you deal with spammers that keep changing
their forged sending addresses?
Eliza

Dear Eliza
MailWasher generally ignores the sender address, unless
it is in the blacklist, since most spammers forge their
sender address anyway. MailWasher checks the content
of spam.

Persistent spammers like the watch sellers are best
dealt with a filter. It takes 20 seconds to make a filter, and
you never see mail from those crooks again.

To keep the blacklist short and fast, I age it off in 
two days. By then the spammers usually change their address
anyway.

For those of you who haven't got MailWasher yet, click
the link and and get a free trial copy. You can get the 
free trial at http://webby.com/mailwasher
http://webby.com/mailwasher

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Mechanical Pencil as Stylus
I saw my daughter using one of her empty mechanical 
pencils as a stylus on her DSI. I am sure it could 
be used on any electronic which has a touch screen.

Editor's Note: Be sure your mechanical pencil does 
not have a metal tip as this might scratch the screen.

By Robyn

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed   
by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital   
fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all   
but ignored for the next half-hour.   

Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled,   
"Please help me!"   

"Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table."   




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with
breeding to make a perfect turkey.

His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner, but
there were never enough legs for everyone.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating
the results of his efforts to his friends at the general
store.

"Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has six legs!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know," said the farmer. "I can't catch him!"



» The Slinky




Today, July 16, in
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of 
 Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their six-year war.
1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne captured 
 Stony Point, NY.
1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, was set 
 as the permanent seat of the United States Government.
1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed 
 to ratify the constitution.
1875 The new French constitution was finalized.
1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo.
1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared in 
 "National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had been taken 
 near the Florida Keys.
1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. to make 
 use of parking meters.
1940 Adolf Hitler ordered the preparations to begin on the 
 invasion of England, known as Operation Sea Lion.
1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and held 
 them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part of an 
 agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. Germany had 
 agreed to not deport French Jews if France arrested 
 foreign Jews.
1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their 
 drive toward Germany.
1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb 
 in a test at Alamogordo, NM.
1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. 
 They watched Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup 
 soccer finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was 
 first published.
1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and 
 began the first manned mission to land on the moon.
1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing 
 Hasan al-Bakr to resign.
1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of 
 Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 15 




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
--- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.
--- Wayne Gretzky (1961 - )


There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. 
One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if 
he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This 
angered him and he took the farmer to court. 

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. 
The farmer replied, your Honor, I am primitive. I don't 
have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." 

The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" 

The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker 
started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound 
loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings 
the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same 
weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the 
baker."


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Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working 
With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research 
Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner 
And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles
on eBay and at fairs. 
Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!


"Oh Doctor, My husband thinks he is a chicken."

"Oh no - how long has this been going on?"

"About a year!"

"A year! Why did you wait so long to come see me?"

"Well, we need the eggs."



Click on the picture for the large version

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Wanda Lee Ann Podgurski, 60, in jail now

Fugitive Tweets 'Catch Me If You Can', 
Gets Caught

Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver
A fugitive Manhattan Beach woman, who disappeared after 
being convicted of disability and insurance fraud in 
January, tweeted, "Catch me if you can," on June 5. 
She was caught on July 4.

Wanda Lee Ann Podgurski, 60, was apprehended Thursday in 
Rosarita, Mexico, by the Fugitive Task Force. Her case 
was turned over to the U.S. Marshals and the Computer 
and Technology Crime High-Tech Response Team.

The tweet is thought to have been directed at San Diego 
District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis:

Podgurski's Twitter account has since been deleted, after 
having first tweeted out words of congratulations to the 
D.A.'s Office and U.S. Marshals.

The former Amtrak clerk had previously been sentenced in 
absentia to 20 years in prison after being convicted of 
collecting over $650,000 in disability and insurance payments 
from seven insurance companies and one government agency 
after faking fall injuries, reports the L.A. Times. She 
claimed she slipped and fell at her home in 2006, which 
caused her to be severely disabled. Podgurski was also 
ordered to pay more than $1 million in fines and 
restitution.

While she was "injured" and requiring "in-home care," 
Podgurski traveled to a number of destinations, including 
China, the Dominican Republic, New York, Seattle, 
Boston and Fort Lauderdale.

During the two-month trial, she was free on $500,000 bail. 
She fled after her conviction. Her last known address was 
in Manhattan Beach, though she had previously lived in 
various places throughout Southern California, including 
Encinitas, Fallbrook and Leucadia.

U.S. Marshals reportedly did not publicly announce how 
exactly they tracked down Podgurski, but Dumanis suggested 
the tweet played a pivotal role in her capture, perhaps 
thanks to an IP address.

Dumanis said of Podgurski, "The defendant in this case was 
brazen in both the large-scale fraud she committed and the 
way she mocked the criminal justice system." With a tweet 
like that, we'd say "mocked" is the perfect word.

Podgurski pleaded not guilty Monday to failure to appear 
while free on bail, according to Fox News. She now faces 
more than 30 years in prison for her ultimately 
unsuccessful disappearing act.
Her bail money is now due in full, and she will not get
bail again, ever.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Walter
Re: Typo in Preserve picture file creation date

Dear Webby,
That should have been CMD not CMS
Close, but not quite right.

By the way, if somebody thought robocopy or the Windows 
Resource kit was suspicious and dumped it at one time,
they can get it again from
http://www.petri.co.il/download_windows ... _tools.htm

Walter

Dear Walter
You are right, that should indeed be CMD
Still typing more by feel than sight.

If you have to put the Resource Kit into the path, add this
line to your bat:
path %path%;C:\Program Files\Windows Resource Kits\Tools

That should do the trick
Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Save Your Packing Material
Save all the packing elements from the gifts you got through 
the mail. The bubble wrap, plastic peanuts, pillows, etc. 
can easily be re-used. Not to mention padded bags, etc. 
It's frugal and green, too!

By Pamphyila from Los Angeles 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans 
and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.

"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 
'come fly the friendly skies'?"

Joe answered the correct airline.

"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, 
"Don't leave home without it?"

Brenda answered the correct credit card company with 
no difficulty.

"Now John, Tell me who uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?"

And John answered, "Mom."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A new senate page was reporting for duty on Capitol Hill 
in Washington. The department head who was giving him 
his instructions said, "And another thing. You must 
remember the telephone number here. IF you are ever 
calling in from an outside line you must dial 
Capitol 4-3121."

Then, noticing the puzzled look on the page's face, 
he said, "What's the matter? You look as though 
you don't understand."

"Oh, nohtin , Senor," the new page said. 
"I jus donnow how to dial ta capital four!"



» Ugly mix of duck, beaver & otter




Today, July 15, in
1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders.
1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights at 
 Tannenburg, Prussia.
1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live without 
 the authority of the government.
1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the Allies 
 in Prague to discuss peace terms.
1888 "Printers’ Ink" was first sold.
1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike.
1904 The first Buddhist temple in the U.S. was established 
 in Los Angeles, CA.
1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was incorporated 
 by William Boeing. The company was later renamed Boeing Co.
1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the 'Hump' 
 was carried to help China's war effort.
1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon, to 
 protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew 
 October 25, 1958.
1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-up 
 pictures of the planet Mars.
1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the 
 U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet, landed 
 at Kennedy International Airport in New York.
1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 14 

Back in the saddle again!





If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to payoff with your money.
--- G. Gordon Liddy

The Carbon Tax scheme is just a transfer of money 
from poor people in rich countries to rich people 
in poor countries.
--- D.W.

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody 
endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
--- Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics 
doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
--- Pericles (430 B.C.)

Marriage worked well in the 18th century
because people only lived to be 40.
--- Meade


Thanks to Sandie for sending this classic:

The computer swallowed grandma
Yes, honestly it's true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!

This is a tribute to all the Grandmas
who have been fearless
and learned to use the computer.
They are the greatest!!!

--------------
And some GreatGrammas too!


How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home 
for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos
It is easy enough to expand from hobby to
professional grower or teacher.
Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country.
For bathroom facilities, they had to use an outhouse.
The little boy hated it because it was hot in the
summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time.

The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and
the boy determined that one day he would push that
outhouse into the water.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so
the little boy decided today was the day to push the
outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and
pushed. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek
and floated away.

That evening his dad sternly told him to sit down.
Knowing he was in trouble, the little boy asked why.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the
creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"

The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and
said, "Dad, I read in school today that George
Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get
into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's
father wasn't in that cherry tree!"


Thanks to Lillemor for this picture:

Click on the picture for the large version
First white one of the year
Lillemor

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Anthony Thomas, 33, Ocala, Floriduh

Florida man robs gas station 
after applying for job

Reported by Helen
Police say 33-year-old Anthony Thomas was at an Ocala, 
Florida gas station applying for a job. When the clerk 
leaves the counter, security cameras show Thomas reaching 
over and grabbing a handful of cash — around $130 — out 
of the open register.

On Tuesday morning, shortly after filling out a job 
application with his actual name, Ocala police say Anthony D. T
homas, 33, who was standing by a door in the gas station, 
pilfered money from a drawer and left.

A surveillance video shows the theft, which occurred while a 
store employee wasn't looking.

Thomas was arrested and faces charges of burglary, petit theft 
and resisting arrest with violence, according to the Ocala 
Police Department.

OPD received a call from the Citgo, 1517 SW College Road in 
Ocala, at 9:48 a.m.

A member of the agency's Special Deployment Unit and other 
officers got a description of the suspect. Thomas was a frequent 
visitor at the store, where he would buy cigarettes.

The officer caught Thomas and held onto him briefly, but the 
suspect fought him off and squirmed away, according to OPD. The 
officer grabbed him again and, with help from officers Jeff Hall 
and Brett Casteel, was able to make the arrest.

They reported finding most of the cash on him. Police said $130 
was stolen.

The suspect had been wearing a shirt during the burglary. Thomas 
had on jean shorts but no shirt or shoes when arrested.

"I did not go into no cash register to get no money," Thomas told 
a reporter after his arrest. "I didn't rob no store."

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Nigle
Re: Preserve picture file creation date

Dear Webby,
When I try to copy pictures to my back-up drive,
Windows stomps over the file creation date with the
copy date, which is totally useless. Is there a way 
around that?
Thanks
Nigle

Dear Nigle
Not officially, but there IS a way.
You have to go into DOS, which is still underneath all
the glitter. Click on START
type CMS and hit ENTER.
The scary black DOS screen pops up.
In there, type
robocopy /?
That will give you all the command options for robocopy

I would agree, that is a lot more information than almost
all of you, except maybe Moe, are interested in or can digest.
All you need, thugh is
robocopy source destination

Let's say the source are the pictures on the camera chip g:\
and they are in g:\DCIM\303CANON
and the destination is the \pix\CANON\July folder on the E: drive.

So your command would be
robocopy g:\DCIM\303CANON e:\pix\CANON\July

Actually quite simple, if you don't complicate it.
Robocopy copies the entire folder by default.
You can narrow that down by using wildcards, but for your
purposes, the entire folder is probably best.

Robocopy preserves the creation dates by default,
which is usually of extreme importance to photographers.
We really don't give a hoot about when a picture was
copied from a chip to a drive, we want to know, when the
picture was taken. 

Spend a bit of time getting familiar with robocopy.

If typo-ing that whole command is too strenuous on your
typo finger, or if you want to delegate that chore to your
spouse, you can write a BAT to automate it

Use a plain text editor like NoteMaid, NoteTab, or even
Notepad or WordPad. With the last two, you have to watch 
the file saving, They like to change the extension and piss
.txt at the end. That kills a BAT. A BAT needs to have
.bat
as the extension.

Save the file as pixcopy.bat or something like that,
at a place, that you can find easily, for example right
at the top of the C: drive.

In the file write:

@echo off
robocopy g:\DCIM\303CANON e:\pix\CANON\July
echo ****** Copied *******
PAUSE
exit


Save it.
Then find that pixcopy.bat with the file explorer, 
and make a shortcut to it.
Drag the shortcut onto the desktop.
Change the icon to that shortcut to one, that makes
sense for that.

Now, when your spouse clicks on that shortcut icon,
Robocopy copies all the files from the g:\DCIM\303CANON
folder on the camera chip onto e:\pix\CANON\July
and then prompts him with white text on a black screen:

****** Copied *******
Hit any key

When he does, the black DOS screen disappears.

If you want to be devious, you can write in the BAT:

@echo off
robocopy g:\DCIM\303CANON e:\pix\CANON\July
echo ****** Copied *******
PAUSE
echo not THAT key!
PAUSE
exit


Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make Your Own Pads for Protecting Hardwood Floors
My dining room chairs were scratching my hardwood floors. 
Instead of spending money on the stick-on felt thingys 
that fall off, I cut furry fabric (I used a 2 liter 
bottle cap as a template for cutting) and hot glued them 
to the feet of all my chairs.

By Jenn from Lenox, MA 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes
(Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass
snakes, not rattlesnakes.

Here's why.

A couple in Morro Bay, California, had a lot of potted
plants. During a recent chilly spell, the wife was
bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a
possible freeze. 

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake
was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed
up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the
sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the
living room naked to see what the problem was. She
told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to
look for it. About that time the family dog came and
cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had
bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered
him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his
protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started
carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa
and the Emergency Medical! Technician saw it and
dropped his end of the stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still
in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the
house, so she called on a neighbor man.

He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself
with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the
couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman,
who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the
cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around.
She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under
the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out,
tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from
shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth
on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the
back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking
him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she
saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife
bending over him, so she assumed that he had been
bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the
man's throat.

By now the police had arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and
assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were
about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain
how it all happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the
neighbor and his sobbing wife.

The little snake again crawled out from under the
sofa.

One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.

He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table.
The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and
as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and
fell through the window into the yard on top of the
family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into
the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes, were seen by the
neighbors who called the fire department.

The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder
when they were halfway down the street.

The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put
out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in
a ten-square city block area (but they did get the
house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the
hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home,
the police acquired a new car, and all was right with
their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked
her husband if he thought they should bring in their
plants! for the night.

That's when he left her and moved to Alaska.
No snakes there.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Jack was driving home after a hard days work,
and he was not in a good mood.  Nothing at the
office had gone right, and so when he was about
to make the turn off and a car came wildly
careening around the corner in his lane, he was
furious! To make matters worse, the lady driving
the car, a former neighbor whom he knew well,
stuck her head out the window and yelled,
"PIG! PIG!"

Jack couldn't contain himself any longer.  He rolled
down his window, stuck his head out, and shouted,
"BATTLE AXE!"

Still fuming, he drove around the corner,
and ran into a big pig, 
standing in the middle of the road.



» Wedding Customs Around the World




Today, July 14, in
1223 - In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip 
 Augustus.
1430 - Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, 
 was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais.
1456 - Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of 
  Belgrade.
1536 - France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, 
  which aligned them against Spain.
1789 - French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the 
 Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside.
1798 - The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act 
 made it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false 
 or malicious statements about the U.S. government.
1868 - Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure.
1891 - The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was 
  upheld in the court decision Electric Light Company 
  vs. U.S. Electric Lighting Company.
1900 - European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the 
 rebelling Boxers.
1911 - Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of 
 the White House to accept an award from U.S. President Taft.
1914 - Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel.
1933 - All German political parties except the Nazi Party 
 were outlawed.
1940 - A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, 
 from bases in Crete.
1945 - American battleships and cruisers bombarded the 
 Japanese home islands for the first time.
1946 - Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of 
  Baby and Child Care" was first published.
1951 - The first sports event to be shown in color, 
 on CBS-TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ.
1958 - The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy.
1965 - The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, 
 and sent back photographs of the planet.
1998 - Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion 
 over the dangers of secondhand smoke.
2008 - The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications 
 downloaded.
2009 - The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications 
 downloaded. 
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 9

Today I have to go to Calgary for more 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no send-out
of any newsletters on Thursday, Friday, Saturday.




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.
--- Heda Bejar


"Make me one with everything," the Buddhist monk 
said to the hot-dog vendor who was hawking food 
near the temple.

The vendor made a frank with mustard, ketchup, 
relish, and onions. The monk took it and handed 
over a twenty-dollar bill.

The vendor stashed the cash in his apron and turned 
his attention to the next customer. "But where's my 
change?" the monk inquired.

"Change must come from within, my friend," said the vendor.


How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home 
for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos
It is easy enough to expand from hobby to
professional grower or teacher.
Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

A classic:
A man was sued by a woman for defamation
of character.  She charged that he had called
her a pig.  The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge, "This means
that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?"  The
judge said that was true.

"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs.
Johnson?" the man asked.  The judge replied
that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson
with no fear of legal action.

The man then proceeded to look directly at
Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon,
Mrs. Johnson."



Click on the picture for the large version

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Andre Bowman, 30, from Kansas City Missouri

19-Year-Old Slizzard Bloodies Grandpa’s Nose 
And Bites His Grandma After They Confront Him For 
Drinking Up Their Wine

Reported by Bossip
Interesting description they use for that Bonehead!
A Deltona slizzard confronted by his grandmother for drinking 
her two bottles of wine bit her on the shoulder, 
investigating Volusia deputies said.

Blake Hale, 19, also gave his 70-year-old grandpa a bloody 
nose, an arrest report shows.

Deputies were called to the Albury Avenue home in Deltona 
at 7:49 p.m. Tuesday where 59-year-old Sue Wilson reported 
her grandson had bitten her, investigators said.

Wilson said Hale was acting drunk when she came home and 
she noticed her two bottles of wine were empty, deputies said.
The woman reported Hale became defensive, angry and started 
yelling obscenities at her. The verbal argument escalated 
into a physical confrontation and Hale started to bite Wilson 
on the shoulder as she walked out the front door, the 
report said.

Wilson had a bite mark on her right shoulder, deputies said.
When deputies made contact with Wilson’s 70-year-old husband, 
he reported Hale had punched him and given him a bloody nose.

Deputies arrested Hale and charged him with battery on a 
person 65 years or older and battery, the arrest report states.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Mare
Re: FireFox reverted to bad #22

Dear Webby,
Webby, I am so frustrated.  I read the letter from the lady 
who was unhappy with the new Firefox (as I also am very 
unhappy with it) 
And took your advice.  All was good. I had my normal size 
print back and my Roboform was back.  However, the next 
day when I turned my computer on, I was right back to the 
new Firefox.  How do I change it and KEEP it?  Thanks for 
so much help in the past. 

I hope all goes well with your shots. Will you have to do 
this for the rest of your life? It sounds so painful and 
my heart goes out to you.  Take care and thanks.                                      Mare in Maryland

Dear Mare
Have not written to you in too long a time!
How are you?

In FireFox click on TOOLS
OPTIONS
ADVANCED
and set the buttons like this:



It will occasionally nag you about updating, but that nag
pop-up clicks away with one click.


Re the shots, I have to go again tomorrow.
No idea how many more times I have to go.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Laundry Washing And Drying Tips

I supplement regular detergent with borax, and wash in 
cold water always. When using the clothes dryer (if it's 
too cold and wet to dry outside or on a rack inside), 
I throw in a couple clean tennis balls. They move the 
clothes around more, preventing the inevitable lumping 
of wet laundry.

By Tarah B. from Moses Lake, WA 

A bit of liquid fabric softener added to the wash
makes line dried laundry nice and soft. The benefit
is that you are not ripping a year off clothes, 
like you do every time you put it into a dryer.
That handful of lint in the lint catcher is what
the dryer ripped off the fabric.

I have some shirts, that are over twenty years old,
and except for being in dire need of ironing, they are
still like new.

When I retire, I am going to learn how to iron shirts.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

"Make me one with everything," the Buddhist monk said to 
the hot-dog vendor who was hawking food near the temple.

The vendor made a frank with mustard, ketchup, relish, and 
onions. The monk took it and handed over a twenty-dollar bill.

The vendor stashed the cash in his apron and turned his 
attention to the next customer. 
"But where's my change?" the monk inquired.

"Change must come from within, my friend," said the vendor.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance:
leather jacket, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed
their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he
doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice,
why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"



» Pretty Froggies




Today, July 10, in
1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under 
 the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria.
1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal colony.
1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in 
 New York City.
1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared 
 war on England.
1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was 
 sold by Spain.
1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil.
1890 Wyoming became the 44th state to join the United States.
1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at an 
 altitude of one mile.
1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 
 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA.
1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion pictures.
1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world.
1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War II.
1949 The first practical rectangular television was presented. 
 The picture tube measured 16 by 12 and sold for $12.
1951 Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict began
1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time 
 in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown.
1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea 
 after heavy fighting.
1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. 
 The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between 
 Europe and the U.S.
1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after 
 three centuries of British colonial rule.
1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, 
 it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced 
 that they would continue to sell "New" Coke.
1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against 
 South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward 
 racial equality.
1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton 
 supported a theory that all humanity descended from an 
 "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago.
2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the Innocents" 
 sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 9

On Wednesday I have to go to Calgary for more 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no send-out
of any newsletters on Thursday, Friday, Saturday.





If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. 
It's not holding a charge.
--- Edward Chilton

All human beings should try to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
--- James Thurber


 There was a university in New England where the students operated
 a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were
 papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished
 student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for
 an A grade, B grade, and C grade.

 One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular
 pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he
 took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed
 the work in.

 In due course he received it back with the professor's comments.

 "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it was
 worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give it one!"


How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home 
for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos
It is easy enough to expand from hobby to
professional grower or teacher.
Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

It was the first camping experience for Jed. As soon as he 
had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. 
In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding 
and disheveled.
"What happened?" asked a fellow camper.

"I was chased by a black snake!" cried the frightened Jed.

The other campers laughed and retorted, "Those black snakes
aren't deadly."

"Listen," groaned Jed,  "If he can make you jump off a
hundred-fifty-foot cliff, he is!!!!"



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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Andre Bowman, 30, from Kansas City Missouri

Dopey accident victim attempts to kidnap baby of 
couple that stopped to help him 

Reported by Sailor
Andre Bowman, 30, from Kansas City Missouri was high on PCP 
when he fell out of a moving car. He then got run over by 
the vehicle behind him who did not realize that the man just 
fallen to the ground. 

Apparently the driver of the vehicle, that ran over Bowman,
was under the influence of something strong, and did not
notice he had driven over a body.

The accident happened around 2 p.m. on Saturday near I-70 & 
Blue Ridge Cutoff. Some other passing drivers stopped to 
help Bowman, since his intoxication made it appear as if 
he was seriously hurt. 

One couple, Sarah Morris and Matthew Nicotra, who stopped to 
Bowman help him, had their two babies in the backseat of 
their car.

All of a sudden the "injured" man jumped up and ran to the 
couple’s car and he tried to kidnap their 2-month-old-baby 
girl who was inside her car seat. “He was trying to grab 
her out of the back seat, I got out, grabbed him, told him 
to let go of my daughter and he wouldn’t let go,” said the 
baby’s father Matthew Nicotra. “The parents kept yelling 
at him and pulling the car seat so he couldn’t take the 
baby, that’s when other drivers stepped in to help.” 
said one onlooker.

Friends of Bowman however say that he is a victim himself. 
The man was left heartbroken after his 18-month-old daughter
Ada, was killed last month by her mother’s boyfriend. The 
boyfriend, 24-year -old Bryant L. Sykes Jr., admitted to 
throwing the girl up against the wall. The mother and her 
boyfriend are facing charges in the death of the young girl.

His friend believes that he was not trying to hurt the baby. 
She believes that the little white girl in the car reminded 
him of his daughter and he snapped. 

Bowman is trying to get custody of his other two children 
Angelicia, 2, and Amileo, 3, but this incident might end 
his chances of getting custody of his kids. Being so stoned, 
that he fell out of a car, is not a sign of a good father.

As of now, Bowman is in the hospital pending charges 
of attempted child abduction. 

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Erika
Re: Laptop and air travel

Dear Webby,
Considering the new restrictions, what do you recommend
re laptops, especially if they have to go into the checked
luggage?
Erika

Dear Erika
In most places they allow laptops onto the planes again.
However, if they don't, take out the hard drive and put 
it into your purse or wallet.
You can even get padded drive wallets made for USB drives.
Laptop drives are small enough that you can easily jam them
into even a very tight camera case.

All you need to take it out and put it back in is a small 
Phillips screwdriver. The type that looks like a short pencil 
and goes on a key ring is ideal, but a key, with the edges 
at the tip sharpened a bit, works fine too.

However, if it looks like a screwdriver, put it into the 
checked luggage. TSA agents seem to be fascinated by 
screwdrivers and anything, that looks essential, and will
confiscate it for sure.

The rest of the laptop is replaceable.

Don't get one of thoe fancy show-off Zero-Halliburton padded
metal cases! Their locks are not TSA approved and your laptop
may stay behind while you travel. A fancy case will just tempt
somebody to rip it off.

When you pack, keep in mind that when the baggage handlers
slam the luggage onto the conveyor, they do it with the top
down and wheels UP. Put the laptop somewhere in the middle,
cushioned by clothes,not near the top of the case.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Flat Sheets Over Comforter

With a king sized bed, washing bedding is a major task - 
and washing blankets and comforters sometimes necessitates 
a trip to a laundromat to use the high capacity machines.

Having two cats sleeping (and shedding) on the bed does 
not make this any easier. I have a duvet cover for my 
comforter, but even that takes up an entire load on its own, 
and in the summer we don't use the comforter at all.

I simplified my life, and reduced my laundry expenses, by 
buying a few flat sheets that coordinate with my bedding 
and decor. When I make the bed, I spread the flat sheet 
across the top of the bed (I usually turn it sideways so it 
hangs nicely - but each sheet varies a bit in dimensions). 
When I change my sheets, I just grab this sheet also - throw 
them all in the wash together - and then I have a hair free 
bed topper and less bulk in my laundry.

By Regina from Rochester, NY 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch.
When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says,
"If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody
else say he's the one who shot it. Otherwise, he'll
take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever
shoots it."

The guy goes to his own blind. Ten minutes later, he
hears his wife shooting from her blind nearby. He
rushes over and finds her pointing her rifle at a
cowboy who's hollering, "Awright, lady, awright
- you can have your freaking deer!  Just lemme get
my saddle off it!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says
to his  friend, "I'm a walking economy."

His friend replies, "How's that?"

"It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, my stomach
is a  victim of inflation, and the combination of these
factors is putting  me into a depression."



»  Know Dolls Houses, Past & Present:




Today, July 9, in
0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city.
0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became 
 Emperor of the West.
1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage 
 to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled.
1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II granted 
 Bohemia freedom of worship.
1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian fleet 
 at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea.
1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker.
1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain.
1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel.
1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas 
 Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone Company.
1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe.
1943 American and British forces made an amphibious landing on Sicily.
1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to 
 Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced.
1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end 
 the state of war between the United States and Germany.
1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility of the 
 Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units.
1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined 
 $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield.
2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a 
 large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 8




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







You may be disappointed if you fail, 
but you are doomed if you don't try.
--- Beverly Sills

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too
often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to
rely on it.
--- Patrick Young

"Everyone wants to save the earth. Nobody wants to help mom with
the dishes"
--- P.J. O'Rourke


The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water   
mister to keep the produce fresh.  Just before it goes on,   
you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of   
fresh rain.   

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and   
witness the scent of fresh hay.   

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and   
cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of   
bacon and eggs frying.   

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered   
corn.   

I avoid the toilet paper isle.  
  

How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home 
for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos
It is easy enough to expand from hobby to
professional grower or teacher.
Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine day. One remarked to the other,
"Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man, replied, "it's Thursday."

The third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."



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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Jennifer Alvarado, 25, El Paso, TX

Stabbed Mother 12 Times After Accusing 
Her Of Being Possessed By The Devil

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Jennifer Alvarado, a 25-year-old Texas woman, was jailed 
Thursday after she allegedly stabbed her mother a dozen 
times because she believed her mother was "possessed by 
the devil."

According to El Paso police, officers were dispatched Tuesday 
at 9:45 p.m. after neighbors called to report a stabbing.  
Police arrived on the scene to find Alvarado walking the 
neighborhood without any clothes on and covered with blood.

Responding officers discovered her mother, 56-year-old 
Barbara Herrera, laying on the ground outside their home. 
She was covered with blood from 12 stab wounds, according 
to the arrest affidavit.

Investigators say Alvarado used a kitchen knife to stab her 
mother in the face, breasts, abdomen, back and shoulder 
areas.

Herrera was taken to University Medical Center of El Paso 
where she is listed in serious but stable condition.

Neighbors told police they saw the two women struggling 
and heard Alvarado shouting that she was going to kill 
her mother because she was evil and possessed by the devil.

Alvarado was booked into the El Paso County Jail and 
charged with suspicion of attempted murder. Her bond 
has been set at $200,000.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Janet
Re: Line on the side of mail

Dear Webby,
Love this Newsletter!!  Thanks you for all your hard work.
So happy someone told me about it.
I have a computer question.
How do you get rid of the blue or black line that is on the
left of an e-mail when forwarded??
Janet

Dear Janet 
The line or > marks on the left side are there on purpose,
to show what had been sent to you and differentiate it from
what you had added.

That is standard with all email programs.

If you want to make it look like you had written the stuff that
somebody has sent to you, copy it into a new email instead
of forwarding, or copy and paste it above the received stuff
and then delete the received part.

With some email programs you CAN turn that line off.
Look in the Help for  "Prefix for Original Message when
Replying or Forwarding".

If you don't want a permanent setting like that, but just
strip the forwarding prefix marks >>>> from chain letters
and hoax mails, you can use StripMail. You can download
it free from my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools
Look for this icon: 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Designate an Area In Your Fridge for Leftovers

Leftovers usually need to be used first so create a space 
on the top shelf of your fridge just for leftovers. It will 
help you use them before they go bad and prevent moldy 
surprises when you clean out your fridge. Also, try to use 
clear tupperware or glass jars for leftovers so you can see 
what is in them at a glance. 


Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to
concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically
asked, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on
their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see
one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked,
"Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?"

The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?"



»  Know The Lies




Today, July 8, in
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around 
 Jerusalem.
1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established by 
 Samuel de Champlain.
1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to 
 Rhode Island.
1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized.
1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in 
 the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended.
1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as 
 their disputes in the New World intensified.
1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium.
1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of 
 Napoleon.
1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun.
1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from 
 San Francisco, CA.
1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured 
 chocolate syrup onto ice cream in a dish. To that time 
 chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream sodas.
1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last 
 championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds.
1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief of 
 United Nations forces in Korea.
1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He 
 was shot down in a U-2 spy plane.
1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen.
1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane 
 to cross the English Channel.
1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria 
 despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war crimes.
1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to 
 join the alliance in 1999.
2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight 
 by a solar powered plane.
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 7




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







Only the mediocre are always at their best.
--- Jean Giraudoux (1882 - 1944)

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.
--- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a 
revolutionary act.
--- George Orwell
 

A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf
that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner
of the calf and explained what had happened. He then
asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years
it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it
to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is a check for $900. It's postdated six
years from now."
  

How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home 
for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos
It is easy enough to expand from hobby to
professional grower or teacher.
Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel,
were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and
talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had
enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See
those two big men standing by the door?  They're hushers."



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Kevin Patrick Smith, Upper East Side, NY

Westie gang member busted by feds caught with 
to-do list with 'rob bank' written down

Reported by Karl
One New York bank robbery suspect was so well organized 
that cops found a to-do list with the words “rob bank” 
written on it in the crook’s Manhattan apartment after 
his arrest, sources said.

Fastidious felon Kevin Patrick Smith, a Westies gang 
associate who once did 10 years for bank robbery, was busted
yesterday outside his Upper East Side building as he headed 
out to rob a bank in New Paltz, the feds said.

The cash-strapped ex-con needed money to pay his legal bills 
and other debts, the FBI said.

Smith allegedly hired an unwitting livery cabby to drive him 
nearly 80 miles to the Ulster County town, where he planned 
to hit a Wells Fargo bank yesterday.

The conscientious con should have spent more time vetting 
his cronies than drawing up lists. Thanks to his accomplice 
— an FBI informant — Smith was arrested by an FBI SWAT 
team as he left his apartment at 8 a.m..

The unidentified livery driver, who was waiting nearby, was
questioned and released without charges.

Midtown-based GroundLink Car and Limo Service said the 
round trip to New Paltz would have cost $530, 
including tip.

According to court papers, Smith, 56, was planning to 
pick up the accomplice and a .44 Magnum handgun he had 
stashed in a Bronx storage facility before heading 
north to knock over the bank.

The accomplice secretly recorded Smith for the FBI as they 
plotted the heist, the Manhattan federal court complaint 
says.

Smith allegedly approached the unidentified snitch on 
Wednesday and recruited him for the holdup, saying he 
had a driver who would take them to the bank.

During a follow-up meeting the next day, Smith drew a 
map of the area and said he would bring the gun, as well 
as gloves, a ski mask and a bag for the loot, which 
the accomplice agreed to help him load in the trunk, 
according to the complaint.

“Smith explained that he needed cash to pay off debts, 
including money owed to his lawyer, credit cards and 
rent,” FBI Agent Michael Powers wrote in the complaint.

When Smith was nabbed, he was carrying a bag that was 
“partially hidden by a heavy winter coat,” and which 
contained a black T-shirt, three pairs of gloves and 
a key.

He was charged with one count of attempted bank robbery, 
which carries up to 25 years in prison.

The Westies were a feared Irish-American gang that ran 
violent extortion and loan-sharking rackets out of 
Manhattan’s Hell’s Kitchen before being broken up with the 
help of turncoat member Francis “Mickey” Featherstone 
in the late 1980s.

Last year, The Post revealed the gang was back in business 
under the leadership of John Bokun.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Chuck
Re: McAfee does not like XP-SP2 any more

Hi Webby,
I can't believe the notice I just received from McAfee. 
It said they no longer will support XP with service pack 2. 
Do you have any suggestion on how to keep my XP with a 
working anti virus?

Chuck

Dear Chuck
SP3 has been fixed and is quite OK now.
Just up your XP to SP3, and everything should be fine.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Clean Windows With Coffee Filters

Clean windows with coffee filters by saturating them with 
window cleaner, all purpose cleaner, or vinegar. They are 
durable and will not leave lint like a paper towels does. 
You can put in an airtight container and have ready to 
use wipes available at all times.

By lessisbest from Wilmington, MA 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as
they were on the way to church service, "And why is it
necessary to be quiet in church?"  

One bright little girl replied, 
"Because people are sleeping."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting
up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did
their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew,
but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked
the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on
his way out.  Just before reaching the safety of the
foyer, the little one called loudly to the
congregation, 
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"



» Critters Galore




Today, July 7, in
1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at 
 Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison.
1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the 
 Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri.
1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine.
1898 The United States annexed Hawaii.
1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for 
 the first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA.
1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, 
 on the Colorado River.
1937 Japanese forces invaded China.
1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid 
 for South Korea.
1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to 
 a measure that made the French language equal to 
 English throughout the national government.
2011 The world's first artificial organ transplant was achieved. 
 It was an artificial windpipe coated with stem cells. 
2013  smiled

Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 6.




If you can help with the  cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!







The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
--- Henry Stimson (1867 - 1950)

Wise men talk because they have something to say; 
fools, because they have to say something.
--- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
 

The following conversation took place one morning between a   
wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government   
cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.   

"Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it   
looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim   
down the military forces. They are going to retire six over-   
aged destroyers."   

To which the husband replies, "Oh...I'm sorry to hear your   
mother will be out of work."   
  

How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home 
for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos
It is easy enough to expand from hobby to
professional grower or teacher.
Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

At an international conference, an American, a British and a
Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses.

"I can't stand it some time. We treat people for cancer, and
then they die of AIDS."

"I know what you mean." said the British. "We treat them for
yellow fever, and it turns out they had malaria. Then, of
course, they die."

"That is not a problem in our country" said the Russian
doctor. "When we treat people for a disease, they die of
*that* disease."



Click on the picture for the large version

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Peggy Hill, 62, Bradenton, Floriduh

Jailed On Felony Battery Charge 
After Kissing Cop On The Nose

Reported by the Smoking Gun
A Florida woman is jailed on a felony battery on a law 
enforcement officer charge after she allegedly kissed a cop 
on the nose.

Peggy Hill, 62, was arrested late Saturday evening outside 
her Bradenton residence by Manatee County Sheriff’s Office 
deputies who had arrived at the home in response to a call 
about a dispute between Hill and a neighbor about a fence 
between their properties.

As Hill was conversing with Sergeant Randy Lamb, 
“she approached him and kissed him on his nose against 
his will.” 

Lamb, an 18-year veteran, stepped away from Hill and 
“wiped off the saliva from his nose,” according to an 
arrest report. With the help of another deputy, Lamb 
took Hill to the ground and handcuffed her.

In a post-arrest interview, Hill said that Lamb 
“was being aggressive towards her,” and that 
“the thought just popped in her head to kiss him on 
his nose, so she kissed him on his nose.” 
Hill told deputies that she had consumed “about 3 
glasses of wine” before deputies arrived at her home.

Pictured in the above mug shot, the retired Hill was 
booked into the county jail early Sunday for felony 
battery. She is being held in lieu of $5000 bond and 
is scheduled for a July 19 court appearance.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Ann
Re: Alternate Home Page

Dear Webby
on this google page I can get to my email which is Gmail, 
now does that change? how will I get to my email?
Ann.

Dear Ann
If it isn't, enable your FireFox Navigation Bar.
Go to https://mail.google.com/mail/
Drag the little icon from the left of the address bar 
onto your Navigation bar.


That's all there is to it.
I have all my most visited sites on that Navigation bar. 
You can shuffle them around to have the most important 
ones on the left, or on the right, or in the middle. 
Just drag them.

If you have Gmail in one corner of your Navigation bar, 
just hit that whenever you want Gmail.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Pickle Jar Incense Burner

I was on the patio and I wanted to burn some incense. 
I found this pickle jar and put the incense stick upside 
down in the pickle jar and fastened the wood part with a 
clothepin.

It made a lot of smoke and looked nice, in addition to 
keeping the bugs away from me. I thought that was 
interesting that incense would do that.

I would never leave it unattended, although this is a more 
pet safe way to burn incense than some of my incense holders 
I have in the house.

By Anna S. 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

One day a man went to an auction.  While there, he bid on 
a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up 
in the bidding.  He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, 
so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won 
the bid - the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, 
"I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid 
this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry," said the auctioneer, "He can talk.  Who do 
you think kept bidding against you?"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

An American traveling through Europe is riding a train in
Germany. At one point, the ticket inspector comes into the
compartment, punches the passengerís ticket, and then
chats cordially in German for a bit, making gestures like
a windmill. The man, who speaks no German, simply smiles
and nods from time to time to show that he is interested.

Finally, the ticket inspector bows and leaves the compartment.
At that point, a woman sitting across from the man leans
forward and says in English, "You don't speak any German,
do you?"

"No," the man says.

"Then that explains why you didn't bat an eye when he told
you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong
direction and that the next stop is an hour from now."



» Pompous Toons




Today, July 6, in
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned.
1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in 
 Boston, MA, and deported back to England.
1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during 
 the American Revolution.
1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine.
1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies vaccine. 
 The child used in the test later became the director of 
 the Pasteur Institute.
1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between 
 officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question 
 was John Walker.
1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence 
 captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks.
1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established.
1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half 
 years. About 600,000 people died.
1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed 
 after five years of house arrest by a federal court.
1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase 
 Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion.
1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that retirement plans 
 could not pay women smaller monthly payments solely 
 because of their gender.
1988 Several popular beaches were closed in 
 New York City due to medical waste and other debris 
 washing up on the seashores.
1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot 
 rover on the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on 
 the red planet on July 4th.
1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland 
 after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march 
 in Portadown.
2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million 
 for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book 
 Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled 
 with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 
2013  smiled