Too small fonts on FaceBook 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, August 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Bonehead arrested for trading dope for pictures and sex with 14 year old girl. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 9, in 1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own" --- Robert A. Heinlein "Whoever could make two ears of corn ... grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind .. than the whole race of politicians put together." --- Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ross for these: Science Exam Answers *********************************** Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and ketchup. *********************************** Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, deep sheep and canoeists. *********************************** Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. *********************************** Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. *********************************** Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. *********************************** Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. *********************************** Q: What is artificial insemination? A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. *********************************** Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen). A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U. *********************************** Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie. *********************************** Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. *********************************** Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section" A: The Caesarean Section is the red light district in Rome. *********************************** Q: What does the word "benign" mean? A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my racket." ______________________________________________________ Elizabeth was nervous as she took the wheel for her first driving lesson. As she was pulling out of the parking lot, the instructor said, "Turn left here, and don't forget to let the people behind you know what you're doing." Elizabeth turned to the students sitting in the backseat and announced, "I'm going left." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Ryan Williams, 26, Gainesville, Florida Florida Bonehead arrested for trading dope for pictures and sex with 14 year old girl. Since April, a 26-year-old Gainesville man has been swapping marijuana for nude pictures and videos of a teenage girl in Florahome, according to an arrest report. Joshua Ryan Williams, of 4143 NW Seventh St., began texting and calling the girl, then 14, asking her to send him images of her nude, the Gainesville Police report said. In exchange, he would drive to her Putnam County home and give her marijuana. On several occasions when Williams went to see the girl, the report said, he had her perform a sex act on him. He told police that he knew the girl was a teenager. Williams was arrested Thursday on five felony charges involving child pornography, cruelty toward a child and drugs. He was being held Friday in the Alachua County jail on $425,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fred RE: Small fonts on FB Dear Webby, I don't know how it has happen on my face book but every thing is in such tiny letter's Can you help me get it back to normal size. Thank you very much. Fred Dear Fred Hold down the CTRL key and roll the mouse scroll wheel away from you. That increases the zoom, text and pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Subject: Socrates Keep this in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumor! In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was well known for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who said excitedly: "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?" Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test. "Triple filter?" "That's right," Socrates continued "Before you talk to me about my student, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?" No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and ..." "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?" "No, on the contrary ..." . "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?" "No, not really." "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?" This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem. It also explains why he never found out that Plato was messing with his wife. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon Lush Recipe This layered lemon flavored dessert is so delicious you will be looking for special occasions at which to serve it. This is a guide about lemon lush recipes. By Linda [5 Posts, 32 Comments] 5 found this helpful This dessert is a crowd pleaser. Ingredients: 1 cup plain flour 1 stick margarine, melted 2 Tbsp. sugar 1 cup nuts, chopped 1 (8 oz.) cream cheese 1 cup powdered sugar 1 large carton of Cool Whip 2 boxes Jello instant lemon pudding 2 cups milk dried shredded coconut or grated sweet chocolate Directions: Mix flour, butter, sugar, and nuts. Press into a 9x13 inch Pyrex dish or 9x15 inch pan. Bake at 350 degrees F until brown. Cool. This is your first layer. Beat together cream cheese and powdered sugar. Fold in half of a large carton of Cool Whip. Spread on crust. This is your second layer. Mix the two boxes of Jello instant lemon pudding with 2 cups of milk. Spread over 2nd layer. Refrigerate until pudding sets. Spread remainder of Cool Whip on top. Sprinkle with coconut or grated sweet chocolate. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!" ___________________________________________________
tough truckers
____________________________________________________ Morris goes to visit his cardiologist in follow up after his life threatening heart attack. The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to resume his active sex life as soon as he could climb three flights of stairs without becoming winded. Morris listens attentively and then says,"I haven't been able to walk 3 flights of stairs without getting winded since high school. Guess I'll have to stick to women who live on the ground floor." ____________________________________________________ A man was showing his friend a new set of matching golf clubs he had just bought. "Doctor's orders," the man told his friend. "My wife and I have been gaining too much weight and we went to see the doctor about it. He said we needed more exercise, so I joined the country club and bought myself this set of golf clubs." "What did you buy your wife?" the friend asked. The man said, "A new matching bicycle and lawn mower." ____________________________________________________
The earliest known versions of everyday items.
____________________________________________________

Today on August 9
1790 The Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three-
year voyage. It was the first ship to carry the American
flag around the world. 

1831 The first American steam locomotive began its first
trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY. 

1842 The U.S. and Canada signed the Webster-Ashburton
Treaty, which solved a border dispute. 

1848 Martin Van Buren was nominated for president by the
Free-Soil Party in Buffalo, NY. 

1854 "Walden" was published by Henry David Thoreau. 

1859 The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames. 

1892 Thomas Edison received a patent for a two-way
telegraph. 

1910 A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric washing
machine. 

1930 Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created
by Max Fleischer. 

1936 Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin
Olympics. He was the first American to win four medals in
one Olympics. 

1942 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested Britain. He was not
released until 1944. 

1944 The Forest Service and Wartime Advertising Council
created "Smokey the Bear." 

1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The
bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima.
About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August
14. 

1945 The first network television broadcast occurred in
Washington, DC. The program announced the bombing of
Nagasaki, Japan. 

1965 Singapore proclaimed its independence from the
Malaysian Federation. 

1973 The U.S. Senate committee investigating the Watergate
affair filed suit against President Richard Nixon. 

1974 U.S. President Richard Nixon formally resigned. Gerald
R. Ford took his place, and became the 38th president of the
U.S. 

1975 The New Orleans Superdome as officially opened when the
Saints played the Houston Oilers in exhibition football. The
new Superdome cost $163 million to build. 

1985 Arthur J. Walker, a retired Navy officer, was found
guilty of seven counts of spying for the Soviet Union. 

1988 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) was traded. The trade
was at Gretzky's request. He was sent to the Los Angeles
Kings. 

1996 Boris Yeltsin was sworn in as president of Russia for
the second time. 

1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired Prime Minister
Sergei Stepashin and his entire cabinet for the fourth time
in 17 months. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush announced he would
support federal funding for limited medical research on
embryonic stem cells. 

2004 Donald Duck received the 2,257th star on the Hollywood
Walk of Fame. 

2016  smiled.


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F5 key 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, August 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Bonehead, 30, arrested after he head-butted mother in face because she brought home chick-fil-a for dinner. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 8, in 1899 - The refrigerator was patented by A.T. Marshall. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally. Her friend asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Charlott stormed into the eye surgeon's office and went up to the desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think," explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success." ______________________________________________________ Annie has been sending resumes to just about any company in the area, whether they were looking for people or not. She went the e-mail route for awhile. Sending electronic cover letters and attaching her resume to each one. But after three months the poor girl was dismayed and confused that she had not received even ONE request for an interview. She finally broke down and called one of the prospective employers she'd sent a resume to. He explained the problem. "Annie, the problem was that your resume wasn't attached as indicated. I do want to thank you, though, for the great lasagna recipe." -------------------- That's actually a failry old joke. However, sending resumes as an attachment is a dumb move. It's too risky to open an attachment, especially if it is a WORD doc and may be full of macros. That goes straight into the trash, unread, right from MailWasher. Depending on my mood, I might even bounce it back at the sender. The only resumes I look at are those that come in a very short email with a brief summary and a link to a detailed resume on a web page. While there is a dire shortage of people to work on construction or in the trades, there is a huge surplus of people who want to work on the web or in an office. If you don't make it easy to get hired, you won't be hired. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Derek Foreman 30, Largo, Florida. Florida Bonehead, 30, arrested after he head-butted mother in face because she brought home chick-fil-a for dinner. Foreman, 30, is nursing a boo-boo he got late Thursday after allegedly head-butting his mother in the face during a confrontation in their residence at the Oak Crest Manufactured Home Community in Largo, Florida. The reason for Foreman’s battering of his 55-year-old parent? “Def. and Victim had a verbal disagreement because the victim brought home Chick-fil-A and the Def. did not want to eat Chick-fil-A,” a criminal complaint notes. Faced with the fast food grub, Foreman “became upset” and head-butted his mother, causing her bottom lip to split, investigators allege. Foreman was arrested for domestic battery, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail. After a court hearing Friday, Foreman was released from custody and directed to have no contact with his mother. A judge also ordered Foreman to be outfitted with a device that monitors his alcohol intake. The report did not state whether Foreman got his nose broken from head-butting his mother's rolling pin or a cop's baton. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ginger RE: F5 Key Dear Webby, Couldn't believe you forgot to mention F5 - refresh - I use it all the time. Ginger Dear Ginger You are right! F5 is for Refresh and F2 is to Edit Here again are the ones from yesterday: F1 is HELP CTRL and F4 together closes a window ALT and F4 together closes a program CTRL and A together selects everything in the open window CTRL and C together copies what you have selected CTRL and V together pastes what you have copied CTRL and INSERT together copies what you have selected SHIFT and INSERT together pastes what you have slected SHIFT and DELETE together copies AND cuts what you have selected CTRL and Z reverses the last action if it was a write or delete, that is the UNdo key CTRL S saves the file you are working on CTRL and ALT and DELETE brings up the System Manager. You use that for changing your password. ALT and the SPACE BAR together open the menu of the program you are in, or Launchy, if you are using it. CTRL and F together is the search for a word in the open window. Some programs use some of the other F keys as well, but not in a world wide consistent manner. The ones I listed are the only ones you need to remember nowadays. There are also some Windows specific keys that use a combination of the Windows key and a letter. The "Windows Key" is the one on the bottom row, that has the Microsoft flag on it. To save space here I'll use *W* for the Windows key *W* Opens the start menu *W* and D minimizes open programs *W* and E opens Explorer at the top, not at some silly location *W* and F opens the file search (computer, not word search in the document you are in) *W* and L careful with this one, it has to do with logging OFF or locking your computer *W* and M "Boss-Alert" key. Closes open windows, but hitting *W* M again does not pop them open again like *W* D does. *W* and R opens the RUN box. *W* R calc opens the calculator *W* and U opens the Utility manager for stuff like the narrator, magnifier, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ After living in the remote wilderness of Texas all his life, Sam decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not knowing what it was, he remarked, "How 'bout that! Here's a picture of my daddy." He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered that Betty-Sue, his wife, didn't like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it. Betty-Sue began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after Sam left, she searched the barn and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, Betty-Sue fumed, "So that's the ugly hussy he's runnin' around with! Just wait till he gets back from the fields!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon Lush Recipe This layered lemon flavored dessert is so delicious you will be looking for special occasions at which to serve it. This is a guide about lemon lush recipes. By Linda [5 Posts, 32 Comments] 5 found this helpful This dessert is a crowd pleaser. Ingredients: 1 cup plain flour 1 stick margarine, melted 2 Tbsp. sugar 1 cup nuts, chopped 1 (8 oz.) cream cheese 1 cup powdered sugar 1 large carton of Cool Whip 2 boxes Jello instant lemon pudding 2 cups milk dried shredded coconut or grated sweet chocolate Directions: Mix flour, butter, sugar, and nuts. Press into a 9x13 inch Pyrex dish or 9x15 inch pan. Bake at 350 degrees F until brown. Cool. This is your first layer. Beat together cream cheese and powdered sugar. Fold in half of a large carton of Cool Whip. Spread on crust. This is your second layer. Mix the two boxes of Jello instant lemon pudding with 2 cups of milk. Spread over 2nd layer. Refrigerate until pudding sets. Spread remainder of Cool Whip on top. Sprinkle with coconut or grated sweet chocolate. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ At the next table at the restaurant today I overheard a young woman who was talking with an older woman, apparently her mother. "I haven't slept in three days," she complained. "The baby is teething and he's up all night crying." "Why don't you just wet a finger with some brandy or a sweet liqeur and rub it on his gums. That will numb them up and put him right to sleep." answered mom. "I can't give the baby alcohol! Lord knows what that will do to him." "Well, it never hurt you any." The look on her face was priceless. ___________________________________________________
In the park
____________________________________________________ It took many hours, but they removed ALL of Tammy Faye Baker's make up,... and do you know what they found? Jimmy Hoffa! ____________________________________________________ One of my first assignments on a summer job at an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs. I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased. "What's wrong?" I asked. Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other nitpicking little problems. He demanded an explanation and that it be re-done. "The repairs were to the other side," I noted. "You smashed in the passenger side, not the driver side. This side I only washed." ____________________________________________________
15 rare historical images that show humor is timeless.
____________________________________________________

Today on August 8
1356 - Edward "the Black Prince" began a raid north from
Aquitaine. 

1815 - Napoleon Bonaparte set sail for St. Helena, in the
South Atlantic. The remainder of his life was spent there in
exile. 

1844 - After the killing of Joseph Smith on June 27,
Bringham Young was chosen to lead the Mormons. 

1876 - Thomas Edison received a patent for the mimeograph.
The mimeograph was a "method of preparing autographic
stencils for printing." 

1899 - The refrigerator was patented by A.T. Marshall. 

1900 - In Boston, the first Davis Cup series began. The U.S.
team defeated Great Britain three matches to zero. 

1940 - The German Luftwaffe began a series of daylight air
raids on Great Britain. 

1945 - The United Nations Charter was signed by U.S.
President Truman. 

1945 - During World War II, the Soviet Union declared war on
Japan. It seemed safe after Hiroshima was nuked.

1950 - Whataburger opened its restaurant in Corpus Christi,
TX. 

1953 - The U.S. and South Korea initiated a mutual security
pact. 

1956 - Japan launched an oil tanker that was 780 feet long
and weighed 84,730 tons. It was the largest oil tanker in
the world. 

1966 - Michael DeBakey became the first surgeon to install
an artificial heart pump in a patient. 

1974 - U.S. President Nixon announced that he would resign
the following day. 

1978 - The U.S. launched Pioneer Venus II, which carried
scientific probes to study the atmosphere of Venus. 

1988 - It was announced that a cease-fire between Iraq and
Iran had begun. 

1989 - The space shuttle Columbia took off from Cape
Canaveral, FL. The trip was said to be a secret five-day
military mission. 

1990 - American forces began positioning in Saudia Arabia. 

1991 - John McCarthy, a British TV producer, was released by
his Lebanese kidnappers. He had been held captive for more
than five years. A rival group abducted Jerome Leyraud in
retaliation and threatened to kill him if any more hostages
were released. 

1991 - The U.N. Security Council approved North and South
Korea for membership. 

1994 - The first road link between Israel and Jordan opened.

1994 - Representatives from China and Taiwan signed a
cooperation agreement. 

1995 - Saddam Hussein's two eldest daughters, their
husbands, and several senior army officers defected. 

2000 - The submarine H.L. Hunley was raised from ocean
bottom after 136 years. The sub had been lost during an
attack on the U.S.S. Housatonic in 1864. The Hunley was the
first submarine in history to sink a warship.

2016  smiled.


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F-Keys and other Hot-keys 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, August 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Mom charged with killing baby with teaspoon of salt to ‘get her husband back’ Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 7, in 1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." --- Robert McCloskey At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. --- Socratex The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The average man's life consists of; twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going; forty years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wondering, too!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Morris, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Morris for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Morris had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who wanted Morris' job. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered. At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there a chance that I could take Morris' place?" "Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished!!!" ______________________________________________________ Jane's mother-in-law asked Bob to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. He went and looked around and couldn't find any. So he grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my mother-in-law. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at him and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself." ______________________________________________________ Green Headed Tanager ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kimberly Nicole Martines, 23, Spartanburg, SC Mom charged with killing baby with teaspoon of salt to ‘get her husband back’ A 17-month-old girl was brought to a Spartanburg, SC, hospital Sunday suffering from seizures; she died Wednesday—and authorities say the baby’s mother killed her by feeding her a teaspoon of salt. Kimberly Nicole Martines, 23, has been charged with homicide by child abuse in the death of her daughter, Peyton Martines, WHNS reports. Kimberly Martines has admitted feeding Peyton the salt, allegedly telling authorities she did so in an effort to “get her husband,” from whom she is separated, “back into her life.” Martines says she was woken up Sunday by Peyton screaming, CBS News reports; she saw the child was having seizures and called 911, the State reports. Peyton was diagnosed with an acute case of salt poisoning—as WYFF explains, if too much is ingested, the sodium in salt and soy sauce can cause seizures, coma, or death. But Martines’ sister insists “there’s a lot more that went on than people understand” and that Martines is “a great mother” who would never hurt her children. Peyton’s twin sister and another sibling were taken into protective custody. “Peyton was the most beautiful, happiest, loving baby ever. She never cried and was a silly baby making everyone laugh,” her family says in a statement. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: JP RE: F-Keys andother hot keys Dear Webby, I am new to computers and was wondering if you could tell me what the F1 through F12 keys are for that are located at the top of my keyboard? What are the Ctrl and Alt keys used for? Thanks for the help! JP Dear JP The F Keys (Function Keys) have gone more and more out of style ever since some dingbats decided to put them on top, instead of on the left side where God intended them to be for maximum productivity, just so that they can make cubicles narrower. The only common ones that are still surviving are these: F1 is HELP CTRL and F4 together closes a window ALT and F4 together closes a program CTRL and A together selects everything in the open window CTRL and C together copies what you have selected CTRL and V together pastes what you have copied CTRL and INSERT together copies what you have selected SHIFT and INSERT together pastes what you have slected SHIFT and DELETE together copies AND cuts what you have selected CTRL and Z reverses the last action if it was a write or delete, that is the UNdo key CTRL S saves the file you are working on CTRL and ALT and DELETE brings up the System Manager. You use that for changing your password. ALT and the SPACE BAR together open the menu of the program you are in, or Launchy, if you are using it. CTRL and F together is the search for a word in the open window. Some programs use some of the other F keys as well, but not in a world wide consistent manner. The ones I listed are the only ones you need to remember nowadays. There are also some Windows specific keys that use a combination of the Windows key and a letter. The "Windows Key" is the one on the bottom row, that has the Microsoft flag on it. To save space here I'll use *W* for the Windows key *W* Opens the start menu *W* and D minimizes open programs *W* and E opens Explorer at the top, not at some silly location *W* and F opens the file search (computer, not word search in the document you are in) *W* and L careful with this one, it has to do with logging OFF or locking your computer *W* and M "Boss-Alert" key. Closes open windows, but hitting *W* M again does not pop them open again like *W* D does. *W* and R opens the RUN box. *W* R calc opens the calculator *W* and U opens the Utility manager for stuff like the narrator, magnifier, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $40 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Small Amounts of Homemade Bisquick By Judy Pariser S. [133 Posts, 132 Comments] I like to make my own Bisquick because it is more economical, and I can't always use an entire box before the expiration date. A lot of the recipes to make it at home make very large quantities. I was really happy to find this recipe. It makes 1 and 1/2 cups. Total Time: 5 minutes Yield: 1 1/2 cups Making Small Amounts of Homemade Bisquick By Judy Pariser S. [133 Posts, 132 Comments] I like to make my own Bisquick because it is more economical, and I can't always use an entire box before the expiration date. A lot of the recipes to make it at home make very large quantities. I was really happy to find this recipe. It makes 1 and 1/2 cups. Total Time: 5 minutes Yield: 1 1/2 cups Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup flour (I used half whole wheat, half all-purpose) 2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 cup oil or shortening Steps: Mix all ingredients together. Any leftovers can be stored in the refrigerator or freezer. Source: The Tightwad Gazette ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enough of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married. As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've bought enough birth control pills to last 10 years, energy pills for years, and Lord knows how many condoms. And you don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce?" She smiled slyly and replied, "The pharmacist, silly." ___________________________________________________
In the park
____________________________________________________ A man entered a barbershop and said: "I am tired of looking like everyone else! I want a change! Part my hair from ear to ear!" "Are you sure?" "Yes! said the man. The barber did as he was told, and a satisfied customer left the shop. Three hours passed and the man reentered the shop. "Put it back the way it was," he said. "What's the matter?" said the barber. "Are you tired of being a nonconformist already?" "No," he replied, "I'm tired of people whispering to my nose!" ____________________________________________________ As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?" "You would never get through basic training," scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just staring at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed, EVERY morning?" ____________________________________________________
Amazing clairvoyants! I don't know how they do it but they are fascinating.
____________________________________________________

Today on August 7
1789 The U.S. War Department was established by the U.S.
Congress. 

1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple
Heart. 

1888 Theophilus Van Kannel received a patent for the
revolving door. 

1914 Germany invaded France. 

1934 The U.S. Court of Appeals upheld a lower court ruling
striking down the government's attempt to ban the
controversial James Joyce novel "Ulysses." 

1942 U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start of
the first major allied offensive in the Pacific during World
War II. 

1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six-
man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into
a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. 

1959 The U.S. launched Explorer 6, which sent back a picture
of the Earth. 

1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of
communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious TV
and radio broadcasts. 

1964 The U.S. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution,
which gave President Johnson broad powers in dealing with
reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. forces, which were
shelling North Vietnam. 

1974 French stuntman Philippe Petit walked a tightrope
strung between the twin towers of New York's World Trade
Center. 

1976 Scientists in Pasadena, CA, announced that the Viking 1
spacecraft had found strong indications of possible life on
Mars. 

1987 The presidents of five Central American nations, met in
Guatemala City, and signed an 11-point agreement designed to
bring peace to their region. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops and
warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard against a possible
invasion by Iraq. 

2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he
would run for the office of governor. 

2003 Stephen Geppi bought a 1963 G.I. Joe prototype for
$200,000.

2016  smiled.


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Missing "Show Desktop" icon 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, August 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Universal Studios guests with fake credit cards arrested Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 5, in 1945 The American B-29 bomber, known as the Enola Gay, dropped the first atomic bomb on an inhabited area. The bomb named "Little Boy" was dropped over the center of Hiroshima, Japan. An estimated 140,000 people were killed. (8:16am Japanese time) More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. --- Hermann Hesse "Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post what he feels about dogs." --- Christopher Hampton ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Herb for this one: My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter. That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said, "Families are Forever." And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
From Ellen After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Angel from http://Angelwinks.net for this one: Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move. "It's no use." Robbie said, "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Yuniel Garrido Llopiz, 32, Eidrys Reyes Robelt, 30, Miami, Florida Universal Studios guests with fake credit cards arrested Cops say two South Florida men attempted to live it up at Universal Studios last week. The trouble was Yuniel Garrido Llopiz and Eidrys Reyes Robelt tried to pay with phony credit cards, according to Orlando police. Llopiz, 32, of Hialeah and Robelt, 30, of Miami were each charged with possessing personal identification of other people and misrepresenting themselves. Robelt was additionally charged with trafficking in counterfeit credit cards. In all, they had 17 counterfeit cards on July 5, according to Orlando police. They tried to use fake cards to purchase food, clothing, express passes and gift cards at the theme park, police say. Robelt waived his right to remain silent during an interview with police and the U.S. Secret Service. "Robelt stated he had been given the counterfeit credit cards in South Florida and knew they were 'not good,'" he said, according to a report. "Robelt stated he could not tell us who or how he received the cards because he feared for his safety and did not want to be a 'snitch.'" Llopiz doesn't speak English and no Spanish-speaking detectives were immediately available, the report said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Laura RE: Missing Show Desktop icon Dear Webby, My mom had some misadventure with her computer and lost a bunch of stuff and files. Most of them she has since restored, although many files were not recovered (no backup!). Somehow she had also deleted her quick launch bar. I restored that the other day, but the button for "Show Desktop" is not there. How do I get that back for her? Thanks, Laura The easiest way to show the desktop is to hit the Windows key and D The alternative is a very cumbersome rigamarole that you can find if you click on the desktop, hit F1 and search for "How to Re-create the Show Desktop Icon on Quick Launch Toolbar" Much easier to just take a fine line indelible felt pen and write + D onto the Windows key to remind her how to show the desktop. Windows key and D also restores all open windows, that w ere hidden when she hits that the first time to find an icon. It is actually a very handy shortcut. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America . ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 5.6%. COSTELLO: That many people are out of work? ABBOTT: No, that's 23%. COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%. ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed. COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work. ABBOTT: No, that's 23%. COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 23% unemployed. ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%. COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%? ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work. COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed. ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed. COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! ABBOTT: No, you miss his point. COSTELLO: What point? ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair. COSTELLO: To whom? ABBOTT: The unemployed. COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work. ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed. COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment? ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely! COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work? ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%. COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number? ABBOTT: Two ways is correct. COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? ABBOTT: Correct. COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job? ABBOTT: Bingo. COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work. ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Democrat. COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said! ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Hillary. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Washing Bib Overalls By mom-from-missouri [198 Posts, 460 Comments] This is actually a tip I learned from my husband years ago when we married. He wears bib overalls almost daily, and the straps tend to tangle. But, if you unbutton the front pockets, take the strap buckles and place them between the button and pocket and then rebutton it (or snap on some pairs) they will stay that way during the wash cycle. (if you simply buckle them as you do when you wear them, they come loose in the wash and tangle up) Another trick I use is saving the buckles when he wears out a pair. Every so often the buckles break, and I have a spare buckle I can then use. The rest of the worn out bibs make great potholders, or skirts for little girls or tote bags. There are lots of ideas on them if you google. ___________________________________________________
Dead Dog
____________________________________________________ Two little boys were looking for a way to cool off on a hot summer day. Their dad wouldn't let them play in the sprinkler because he was mowing the lawn, so the boys set out to find a way to get wet and cool without getting into trouble. They sat on the curb brainstorming the solution, when suddenly one of them jumped up and declared, "I know! Lets get baptized!" Well, both boys had seen enough to know that you can get wet at at baptism, so they trotted on down to the church on the corner and told the pastor they wanted to get baptized. The irritated pastor finally relented after about 10 minutes of begging, and he finally dragged the boys to the men's room and dunked them both head first into the toilet, then sent them on their way. The boys sat on the curb, slightly disappointed with the whole adventure, when one of them asked the other, "Hey, what religion are we now?" "I don't know," replied the other. "If we were Baptists, he would have filled up the big tub and dunked our whole body like he did for Uncle Jim, and if we were Catholic, he would have poured it on our heads from a pitcher..." They sat and thought about it for a while longer when the first one said in a small voice, "Since he stuck our head in the toilet, I think that it means that we're 'pisscopalian." ____________________________________________________ Wayne, a friend of mine, owns an auto-repair business. One day a woman called to inquire when he could work on her car. "I'm not busy now," he replied. "bring it right in." A short time later, the woman pulled into the service bay, stopping her small car perfectly over the wide, deep grease pit. "Wow!" Remarked Wayne. "That's great driving. Your wheels only have a couple of inches to spare on each side of the pit." She looked blankly at him and asked, "What pit?" ____________________________________________________
Let's go cliff diving in Maui. These young people look like they're having a lot of fun.
____________________________________________________

Today on August 6
1787 At the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia debate
began on the first draft of the U.S. Constitution. 

1806 The Holy Roman Empire went out of existence as Emperor
Francis II abdicated. 

1825 Bolivia declared independence from Peru. 

1914 Austria-Hungary declared war against Russia. Serbia
declared war against Germany. 

1926 Warner Brothers premiered its Vitaphone system in New
York. The movie was "Don Juan," starring John Barrymore. 

1945 The American B-29 bomber, known as the Enola Gay,
dropped the first atomic bomb on an inhabited area. The bomb
named "Little Boy" was dropped over the center of
Hiroshima, Japan. An estimated 140,000 people were killed.
(8:16am Japanese time) 

1960 Nationalization of U.S. and foreign-owned property in
Cuba began. 

1962 Jamaica became an independent dominion within the
British Commonwealth. 

1969 The first fair ball to be hit completely out of Dodger
Stadium occurred. Willie "Pops" Stargell, of the Pittsburgh
Pirates, hit the ball 506 feet from home plate. 

1981 Fire fighters in Indianapolis, IN, answered a false
alarm. When they returned to their station it was ablaze due
to a grease fire. 

1985 The 40th anniversary of the Hiroshima atomic bombing
brought tens of thousands of Japanese and foreigners to
Hiroshima. 

1986 William J. Schroeder died. He lived 620 days with the
Jarvik-7 manmade heart. He was the world's longest surviving
recipient of a permanent artificial heart. 

1989 Jaime Paz Zamora was inaugurated as the president of
Bolivia. 

1990 The U.N. Security Council ordered a worldwide trade
embargo with Iraq. The embargo was to punish Iraq for
invading Kuwait. 

1993 Morihiro Hosokawa was elected prime minister of Japan. 

1995 Thousands of glowing lanterns were set afloat in rivers
in Hiroshima, Japan, on the 50th anniversary of the first
atomic bombing. 

1996 NASA announced the discovery of evidence of primitive
life on Mars. The evidence came in the form of a meteorite
that was found in Antarctica. The meteorite was believed to
have come from Mars and contained a fossil. 

1997 Apple Computer and Microsoft agreed to share technology
in a deal giving Microsoft a stake in Apple's survival. 

1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky spent 8 1/2
hours testifying before a grand jury about her relationship
with U.S. President Clinton. 

2012 The Mars rover Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale
Crater. The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft
launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL, on
November 26, 2011.

2016  smiled.


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Music too big for CD 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, August 5
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 5, in 1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population was approximately 250. Murders were two per year. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Just think, if there was no such thing as marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no fault at all! --- Socratex A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Barb There were four churches and a synagogue in a small town: a Presbyterian church, a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Catholic church and a Jewish synagogue. Each church and the synagogue had a problem with rats. The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their rats. After much prayer and Consideration, they determined the rats were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. At the Baptist church the rats had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the rats drown themselves. The rats liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many rats showed up the following week. The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they Humanely trapped their rats and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the rats were back when the Baptists took down the water slide. But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptised all the rats and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter. Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They caught one rat and circumcised him. They haven't seen one since.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
WHY I AM SO TIRED I'm tired. For a couple of years I've been blaming it on my iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins and dieting, and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason I'm tired is because I'm overworked. The population of the USA is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work. Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work. Take from that total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city governments and that leaves 200,000 to do the work. There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work. Now, there are 11,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And you're sitting there reading jokes! ______________________________________________________ Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry...we still have one engine left." Nancy turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here forever!!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bonifacio Oseguera-Gonzalez, 29, Portland, Oregon Mexican held in Oregon farm murders had been deported 6 times previously. A Mexican national charged with aggravated murder in the shooting deaths of three people at a rural Oregon blueberry farm had been deported six times, most recently in 2013, according to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Bonifacio Oseguera-Gonzalez, 29, has no significant prior criminal convictions, but ICE asked Oregon authorities to turn him over to them if he's released from custody in the current case, the agency said in a statement to The Associated Press on Friday. Oseguera-Gonzalez pleaded not guilty to three counts of aggravated murder and one count of attempted murder Tuesday in Marion County Superior Court. Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump tweeted about the case Friday, saying the suspect "should have never been here." Two men who lived at the blueberry farm in the Willamette Valley town of Woodburn, in northwest Oregon, died at the scene of Monday's shooting. The third victim, the girlfriend of another resident who was not home at the time, was pronounced dead at a hospital. A third man was seriously wounded but survived and is able to speak with investigators. The Oregon State Police arrested Oseguera-Gonzalez a few hours later on Interstate 84 in the Columbia River Gorge, about 100 miles northeast of Woodburn. He acknowledged to authorities in an interview that he shot four people, according to a probable cause statement. The victims were identified as Ruben Rigoberto-Reyes, 60; Edmundo Amaro-Bajonero, 26; and Katie Gildersleeve, 30, of Logsden. Authorities have released few details about the case, including the relationship between Oseguera-Gonzalez and the victims, and have declined to specify a motive. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mellie RE: Music too big for CD Dear Webby, I've gotten alot of good tips from you, and for that I thank you. Here's a problem I'm hoping that someone can help me solve. I have several audio files on my hard drive that's too large for the standard 80 minute CD. Is there any way to split those files so that I can put these onto disks? I do have them zipped and backed up, but I'd rather put it on a disk so I can play them in a CD player. Any suggestions?? I'm running xp on my system. Thanks mellie Dear Mellie If those files don't fit onto a CD, then they came from a DVD. There are quite a few programs that will let you put a DVD or parts of one onto regular CD's. Don't buy any of the crap advertised by spammers. There are plenty of those programs available for free, and most likely the spammers are just trying to con you into paying for one of the many free ones. The general term for those programs is "Audio Ripper", even though they work for movies too. Originally they were used to "rip off" the music from Music DVD's and make bootleg copies. The name stuck. Just google for "Audio Ripper" and pick one you like. There is a huge selection. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: New hubby: "I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card- playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments? "His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Egg Shells for Planting Tomatoes By Litter Gitter [175 Posts, 600 Comments] To prevent blossom rot, I put a handful of egg shells in the hole with the tomato plant when setting them. This gives the tomatoes calcium and it works. To prevent blossom rot, I put a handful of egg shells in the hole with the tomato plant when setting them. This gives the tomatoes calcium and it works. For 2 dozen tomato plants, I use 2 gallons of crushed egg shells. It takes me a year to save up that many. Whenever I use eggs, I rinse the sticky stuff out of the shells and set them on a paper towel to drain. After they dry, they are ready to crush and add to the bag. I usually let them build up in the bag and then put them in a bowl and crush with my hands and fingers. (This also buffs my rough skin and makes it smooth.) I store the bag in the pantry until spring planting time. If you want to try this, you need to start saving your egg shells. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant,it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?" The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, "How much of a wait?" The woman looked up and said, "About ten minutes." A short time later, we heard an announcement over the loud- speaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is ready." ___________________________________________________
Pinwheel puppies
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Deana for this one: When I went with my stepdaughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told us that the professors were the best in the world, and she recommended my stepdaughter apply early to improve her chances for admission. "We get so many applicants," she boasted, "because of the stature of the school." After the tour I asked our guide, "So, why did you choose this school?" "Oh," she replied matter-of-factly, "my boyfriend used to go here, and now he works at the McDonalds across the street. I can get a free ride to this University, but wold have to take the bus to the one on the other side of town." ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Cindy for this one: About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four-year-old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?" "Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?" ____________________________________________________
The winners of the National Geographic Travel Photographer awards of 2016.
>From Barb ____________________________________________________

Today on August 5

1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population
was approximately 250. Murders were two per year.

1861 The U.S. federal government levied its first income
tax. The tax was 3% of all incomes over $800. The wartime
measure was rescinded in 1872. 

1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Adm.
David G. Farragut were led into Mobile Bay, Alabama. 

1914 The first electric traffic signal lights were installed
in Cleveland, Ohio. 

1921 The first play-by-play broadcast of a baseball game was
done by Harold Arlin. KDKA Radio in Pittsburgh, PA described
the action between the Pirates and Philadelphia. 

1921 The cartoon "On the Road to Moscow", by Rollin Kirby,
was published in the "New York World". It was the first
cartoon to win a Pulitzer Prize. 

1923 Henry Sullivan became the first American to swim across
the English Channel. 

1944 Polish insurgents liberated a German labor camp in
Warsaw. 348 Jewish prisoners were freed. 

1953 During the Korean conflict prisoners were exchanged at
Panmunjom. The exchange was labeled Operation Big Switch. 

1963 The Limited Test Ban Treaty was signed by the United
States, Britain, and the Soviet Union. The treaty banned
nuclear tests in space, underwater, and in the atmosphere. 

1964 U.S. aircraft bombed North Vietnam after North
Vietnamese boats attacked U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of
Tonkin. The nerve of them! Objecting to shelling from ships!

1966 In New York, groundbreaking for the construction of the
original World Trade Center began. 

1969 The Mariner 7, a U.S. space probe, passed by Mars.
Photographs and scientific data were sent back to Earth. 

1974 U.S. President Nixon said that he expected to be
impeached. Nixon had ordered the investigation into the
Watergate break-in to halt. 

1981 The U.S. federal government started firing striking air
traffic controllers. 

1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly
created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The
works of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year
period. 

1989 In Honduras, five Central American presidents began
meeting to discuss the timetable for the dismantling of the
Nicaraguan Contra bases. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush angrily denounced the
Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. 

1991 An investigation was formally launched by Democratic
congressional leaders to find out if the release of American
hostages was delayed until after the Reagan-Bush
presidential election. 

1991 Iraq admitted to misleading U.N. inspectors about
secret biological weapons. 

1992 Federal civil rights charges were filed against four
Los Angeles police officers. The officers had been acquitted
on California State charges. Two of the officers were
convicted and jailed on violation of civil rights charges. 

1998 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein began not cooperating
with U.N. weapons inspectors. 

2002 The U.S. closed its consulate in Karachi, Pakistan. The
consulate was closed after local authorities removed large
concrete blocks and reopened the road in front of the
building to normal traffic. 

2009 Google purchased its first public company. The company
was the video software maker On2 Technologies. 

2011 NASA announced that its Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter had
captured photographic evidence of possible liquid water on
Mars during warm seasons. 

2011 Juno was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station
on a mission to Jupiter. It was the first solar-powered
spacecraft to go to Jupiter. 

2011 Standard & Poor's Financial Services lowered the United
States' AAA credit rating by one notch to AA-plus. 

2016  smiled.


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How to prepare for a hurricane 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, August 4

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Drunk Florida woman blames her dog for the alprazolam and diazepam pills in her car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 4, in 1914 Britain declared war on Germany and turned traditional European border shuffling into a World War. The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. --- Ken Hakuta If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. --- Peter Ustinov "My vision is to make the most diverse state on earth, and we have people from every planet on the earth in this state." --- G. Davis, Governor of Mexifornia ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Hillbilly translates computer terms... x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x* BAR CODE- The fightin' rules down at the local tavern. CACHE- What you need when you run out of food stamps. CHIPS- Pasture muffins you try NOT to step in. DISKETTE- Female disco dancer. HACKER- Uncle LeRoy after 32 years of smokin'. HARDCOPY- Picture looked at when pickin' out a tattoo. INTERNET- Where cafeteria workers put their hair. KEYBOARD- Where you hang the keys to the John Deere. MEGAHERTZ- How your head feels after too many beers. MODEM- What you did when the weeds got too tall. NETWORK- Scoopin' up a big fish before it breaks the line. ONLINE- Where to stay when takin' a sobriety test. ROM- Where the Pope lives. SERIAL PORT- A red wine you drink for breakfast. SUPERCONDUCTOR- AmTrak's employee of the year. VIRUS - what gives you the sniffles ANTI-VIRUS PROGRAM - a jug of moonshine every day
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther and farther away from the truck." ______________________________________________________ Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot." Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game.That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work." Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from Sweden ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anita Wymer, 56, Fort Pierce, Florida Florida woman blames her dog for the alprazolam and diazepam pills in her car. You’ve heard the explanation that the dog ate my homework? Anita Wymer, 56, blamed something else on her pooch. Wymer on July 10 told St. Lucie County Sheriff’s investigators that alprazolam and diazepam pills – used in treating anxiety disorders — in her vehicle were prescribed to her dog, according to an arrest affidavit. Sheriff’s investigators evidently thought Wymer was barking up the wrong tree, and threw her not in the dog house but in the big house. A deputy stopped Wymer about 3 a.m. after investigators say she was traveling more than 90 mph in the area of Interstate 95 and St. Lucie West Boulevard. Wymer smelled of booze, and said she had “a few drinks.” Wymer took field sobriety exercises and was arrested on a DUI charge. Breath tests measured her blood alcohol content at 0.116 and 0.119, greater than the legal limit of 0.08. In her vehicle, investigators found 13 alprazolam and two diazepam pills. She couldn’t provide proof that she had a prescription. “Wymer then later stated that the pills were prescribed to her dog and she only took one,” an affidavit states. Instead of being thrown a bone, Wymer, of Fort Pierce, also was arrested on charges related to having prescription pills without a prescription. Her dog could not be reached for comment. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Chris RE: How do I prepare for the next huricane? Dear Webby, There has been all kinds of weird and wacky advice on how to prepare for the hurricane that will hit here shortly. What do YOU suggest? Chris Dear Chris 1) If you don't have one, get an external USB hard drive and put all your important stuff on it, including the compressed downloads for your software and a file with your logons and serial numbers. 2) Put all your software CD's and other important CD's into an unsinkable fishing tackle box or small cooler with a latchng lid. Also put a flashlight in there. 3) Rent or borrow a laptop for a few days, or lease one from Dell. 4) Get a car or truck battery and an automotive battery charger and a cheap automotive 12 Volt to 110 Volt AC c onverter. NOTE: The most popular is the StatPower 650. It is cheap in automotive accessory stores, more expensive in electronics stores, even more expensive in computer stores, and totally outrageous in aircraft accessories stores. 5) Get a waterproof LED or fluorescent 12 volt mechanics light. They float, use very little battery power, and provide surprisingly decent light. Put the battery, charger and converter, and light into a lockable or at lest latchable 10 or 15 gallon camping cooler. Put some dry clothes into plastic bags and stuff them in there to keep the pieces from shifting. Also put a flashlight in there. You may have to go to the washroom. The reason for using such a large cooler is that a truck battery or car batteries is heavy. A larger cooler will float a lot higher in spite of the weight. A fully charged pick-up truck battery will power a laptop for more than a week. Preparations like that are not just in case the water level rises to your desktop. The same set-up will also work fine if you decide to put pontoons under your desk and raft down the Mississippi next spring. Don't forget your satellite modem! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, my aunt decided the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. "You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day!" My uncle looked at her and replied, "Twice." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Smell from Shoes By sherry [33 Posts, 14 Comments] To get the smell out of shoes, I put a mixture of baking soda, baking powder, and cornstarch in a pair of cotton socks and stick in the shoes overnight. It works like a charm. By Sherry from Onset, MA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob made a suggestion to his wife, "Honey, what do you say that tonight we change positions?" Jane responded with, "Yes, I would really like that. Tonight, you stand by the ironing board and I'll lay on the couch, watch TV and fart." ___________________________________________________
Happy birthday!
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Gale for this one: During a visit to a military medical clinic, I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. The technician there was friendly and mentioned that his mood improved every day because he was due to leave the service in two months. As he applied the tourniquet on my arm, he told me that taking the blood wouldn't hurt much. Then, noticing my Air Force T-shirt he asked me what my husband did. When I replied that he was a recruiter, the technician smiled slyly and said, "This might hurt a little more than I thought." ____________________________________________________ Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. That night, Tom slept well and in fact beat, the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's fine" said the boss, "But where were you Friday?" ____________________________________________________
This is not graffiti it's awesome art!

Today on August 4

1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal
of John Peter Zenger. The writer of the New York Weekly
Journal had been charged with seditious libel by the royal
governor of New York. The jury said that "the truth is not
libelous." 

1753 George Washington became a Master Mason. 

1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. naval
task force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard. 

1914 Britain declared war on Germany and turned traditional
European border shuffling into a World War.
 The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality. 

1922 The death of Alexander Graham Bell, two days earlier,
was recognized by AT&T and the Bell Systems by shutting down
all of its switchboards and switching stations. The shutdown
affected 13 million phones. 

1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested
eight people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one of
the people arrested. Her diary would be published after her
death. 

1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada. 

1956 William Herz became the first person to race a
motorcycle over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210
mph. 

1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the
English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes. 

1957 Juan Fangio won his final auto race and captured the
world auto driving championship. It was his the fifth
consecutive year to win. 

1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand
Forks, ND. 

1958 Billboard Magazine introduced its "Hot 100" chart,
which was part popularity and a barometer of the movement of
potential hits. The first number one song was Ricky Nelson's
"Poor Little Fool." 

1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George
Wallace, the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to 63
years in prison. 

1983 New York Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield threw a
baseball during warm-ups and accidentally killed a seagull.
After the game, Toronto police arrested him for "causing
unnecessary suffering to an animal." 

1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to
Burkina Faso. 

1987 The Fairness Doctrine was rescinded by the Federal
Communications Commission. The doctrine had required that
radio and TV stations present controversial issues in a
balanced fashion. 

1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from
Iraq and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi invasion
of the oil-rich Kuwait. 

1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South
Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179
crewmembers survived. 

1994 Yugoslavia withdrew its support for Bosnian Serbs. The
border between Yugoslavia and Serb-held Bosnia was sealed. 

1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United
Parcel Service). The strikers eventually won an increase in
full-time positions and defeated a proposed reorganization
of the company's pension plan. 

2007 NASA's Phoenix spacecraft was launched on a space
exploration mission of Mars. The Phoenix lander descended on
Mars on May 25, 2008. 

2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American
journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for
illegal entry earlier in the year. 

2016  smiled.


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Does my vote count? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, August 3

My raspberries are ripening faster than I can pick them.
I picked a few pounds today and will probably put them on
cookie sheets and freeze them.

I made an intersting observation. Near the East end of the
first row I have a Maggie plant. Maggie is a strong herb
used sparingly in traditional stews and soups. It grows like
a tall weed and is about as unkillable as rhubarb.
To the left and right of the Maggie bush the raspberry
shoots are 8 feet tall, the rest of the row is about 5 feet
tall. Seems to be a living fertilizer producer.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Parents arrested after crying, barefoot toddler found in 96-degree heat, while parents played Pokemon Go Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 3, in 1933 The Mickey Mouse Watch was introduced for the price of $2.75. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current." --- Thomas Jefferson The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. --- Paul Valery ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nineteen single ladies, twelve widows, three widowers, and two single men stepped to the front.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
What's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong," the second woman answered. "First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but to make matters worse, I ended up catching three times more fish than he did!" ______________________________________________________ "What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say 'babies'. She was disappointed when Little Johnny cried out, "Happy!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brent Daley, 27; Brianne Daley, 25, Pinal County, Arizona Parents arrested after crying, barefoot toddler found in 96-degree heat, while parents played Pokemon Go An Arizona couple face multiple charges after police say they abandoned their 2-year-old boy at home to play Pokemon Go. The toddler, wearing just a diaper and T-shirt, managed to wander out of the house and into the 96-degree heat, according to a Pinal County Sheriff’s Office report. A neighbor called 911 and deputies found the child wailing outside the San Tan Valley home, trying to get in, according to KFVS. The boy was “red faced, sweaty and dirty” by the time deputies arrived, according to the report. Deputies walked into the home – which was unlocked – to find three dogs but no sign of the parents, 27-year-old Brent Daley and 25-year-old Brianne Daley, according to officials. After locating Brent Daley’s phone number, deputies called him to say they had found the boy abandoned outside the house, to which Daley allegedly replied, “Whatever,” before hanging up. It took the Daleys close to an hour to return home after the call, deputies said. The couple had allegedly left the boy sleeping so they could get gas, but later admitted they were driving to various parks and other areas while playing Pokemon Go, according to Sheriff Paul Babeu. Both parents face charges of child endangerment and child neglect and were booked into the Pinal County Sheriff’s Office jail. The child is now being cared for by the Department of Child Services. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Carole RE: Is my vote getting counted? Dear Webby, Dear Webby Is my vote being counted when I get a page like this? I vote for you everyday and I have noticed you number only goes up a little bit. What has happened to those people at ezinefinder? Carole Dear Carole No, it isn't. Dear Carole No, it isn't counted. I know I sound like a broken record repeating for the umpteenth time that their email confirmation does NOT work. Due to a MUM (Mac User Malfunction) they plumb fergot to include the link to confirm. Just register there at http://www.ezinefinder.com/40697-vote.html Then put the Humor Letter into the Favorites there. You see the Favorites button after you log in. Then you can add all newsletters, that you want to vote for, into the favorites. Next day, log in, hit Favorites, and they are ready to click on. NO thilly and not working email confirmation required. You can let RoboForm or your browser remember your logIn. You might also notice that the frequent and total malfunctions have chased away a lot of voters. Nowadays instead of 200 - 300 votes, I get 18 to 22. That means, if you register a newsletter there, send it to your fans and ask them to vote, AFTER REGISTERING and not wasting their time with the email confirmation version, you can get into the Top 10 in a week or two. It makes no difference what you write about, as long as you can get your fans to register and log in and click to vote there. Have FUN! DearWebby
_____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Theo Once I had an employment offer from a large company and they paid to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in one of the air sickness bags. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" Without thinking, I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for the kids." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Smell from Shoes By sherry [33 Posts, 14 Comments] To get the smell out of shoes, I put a mixture of baking soda, baking powder, and cornstarch in a pair of cotton socks and stick in the shoes overnight. It works like a charm. By Sherry from Onset, MA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A famed explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast." ___________________________________________________
cat on treadmill trying to eat
____________________________________________________ That reminds me of a typical phone conversation between a hotel guest in Vancouver and Room Service: Hotel: Morny, ruin sorbees. Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service. Hotel: Rye! Ruin sorbees ... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen?? Guest: Uh ... yes ... I'd like some bacon and eggs. Hotel: Ow July den? Guest: What?? Hotel: Ow July den ... pry, boy, pooch? Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please. Hotel: Ow July dee baychem ... crease? Guest: Crisp will be fine. Hotel: Hokay. An San toes? Guest: What? Hotel: San toes. July San toes? Guest: I don't think so. Hotel: No? Judo one toes? Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo onetoes' means. Hotel: Toes! Toes! ... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother? Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine. Hotel: We bother? Guest: No, just put the bother on the side. Hotel: Wad? Guest: I mean butter ... just put it on the side. Hotel: Copy? Guest: Sorry? Hotel: Copy ... tea ... mill? Guest: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all. Hotel: One Minnie. Ass strangle ache, creasebaychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye? Guest: Whatever you say. Hotel: Ten jew berry mud. Guest: You're welcome. ____________________________________________________ During our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not such a big boob." The bishop rose to close the session and remarked sympathetically, "That's okay. We like big boobs." ____________________________________________________
Amazing underwater discoveries. I've never heard of the Lake Michigan Stonehenge.

Today on August 3

1492 Christopher Columbus left Palos, Spain with three
ships. The voyage led him to what is now known as the
Americas. He reached the Bahamas on October 12. 

1750 Christopher Dock completed the first book of teaching
methods. It was titled "A Simple and Thoroughly Prepared
School Management." 

1777 During the Siege of Fort Stanwix the first U.S. flag
was officially flown during battle. 

1900 Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. was founded. 

1914 Germany declared war on France. The next day World War
I began when Britain declared war on Germany. 

1933 The Mickey Mouse Watch was introduced for the price of
$2.75. 

1936 The U.S. State Department advised Americans to leave
Spain due to the Spanish Civil War. 

1936 Jesse Owens won the first of his four Olympic gold
medals. 

1943 Gen. George S. Patton verbally abused and slapped a
private. Later, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower ordered him to
apologize for the incident. 

1956 Bedloe's Island had its name changed to Liberty Island.


1958 The Nautilus became the first vessel to cross the North
Pole underwater. The mission was known as "Operation
Sunshine." 

1979 "More American Graffiti" was released. 

1981 U.S. traffic controllers with PATCO, the Professional
Air Traffic Controllers Organization, went on strike. They
were fired just as U.S. President Reagan had warned. 

1985 Mail service returned to a nudist colony in Paradise
Lake, FL. Residents promised that they'd wear clothes or
stay out of sight when the mailperson came to deliver. 

1988 The Iran-Contra hearings ended. No ties were made
between U.S. President Reagan and the Nicaraguan Rebels. 

1988 The Soviet Union released Mathias Rust. He had been
taken into custody on May 28, 1987 for landing a plane in
Moscow's Red Square. 

1989 Hashemi Rafsanjani was sworn in as the president of
Iran. 

1990 Thousands of Iraqi troops pushed within a few miles of
the border of Saudi Arabia. This heightened world concerns
that the invasion of Kuwait could spread. 

1992 The U.S. Senate voted to restrict and eventually end
the testing of nuclear weapons. 

1992 Russia and Ukraine agreed to put the Black Sea Fleet
under joint command. The agreement was to last for three
years. 

1995 Eyad Ismoil was flown from Jordan to the U.S. to face
charges that he had driven the van that blew up in New
York's World Trade Center. 

2004 In New York, the Statue of Liberty re-opened to the
public. The site had been closed since the terrorist attacks
on the U.S. on September 11, 2001. 

2004 NASA launched the spacecraft Messenger. The 6 1/2 year
journey was planned to arrive at the planet Mercury in March
2011. On April 30, 2015, Messenger crashed into the surface
of Mercury after sending back more than 270,000 pictures. 

2009 Bolivia became the first South American country to
declare the right of indigenous people to govern themselves.


2016  smiled.


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Mail not getting out 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, August 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Todays Bonehead Award: Jilted Palm Coast man goes gunning for ex-'swinger' partners Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 2, in 1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire making cattle farming in the Wild West economically feasible. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry. --- Calvin Trillin (1935 - ) An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. --- Friedrich Engels (1820 - 1895) "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government." --- Edward Abbey (1927-1989) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father said, Stay here and be very QUIET. Ill be across the field. Half an hour later, the father heard a blood curdling scream and ran back to his son. What's wrong? the father asked. I told you to be quiet. The son answered, Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet. I was quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and said, 'Should we eat them here or take them with us?' I guess I just panicked.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The cruise ship docked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below. The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back to the top of the gangplank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Missy for this one: Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine. After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed. "Ninety dollars, Ma'am," he answered. "Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with you Maine people, you're always trying to overcharge summer visitors. Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not here to be gypped out of our hard earned money?" "In Winter we raise porcupines, Ma'am." ______________________________________________________ Grand Canyon storm From FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Scott Hurley, 45, Brewster Lane, Palm Coast Florida Jilted Palm Coast man goes gunning for ex-'swinger' partners A jilted sex "swinger" was arrested after he fired multiple shots at one member of a Bunnell couple with whom he and his wife had been sex partners, according to the Flagler County Sheriff's Office. Scott Hurley, 45, of Brewster Lane, Palm Coast, was charged with two counts aggravated assault with a deadly weapon in connection with the Tuesday night incident. He was released on $3,000 bail, records show. According to an arrest report, the victim told officers that Hurley fired about five gunshots at him and a friend as they were standing in front of his Papaya Street home just before 11:30 p.m. Tuesday. He said Hurley then sped off in his Honda Civic and circled the block, passing the home a second time with a friend in the passenger seat. The Bunnell man told deputies Hurley has been harassing him and his family since he and his wife decided to discontinue their “swinger” relationship. Reports show deputies also responded to the Papaya Street home Monday night after Hurley followed the couple home from the Palm Coast Wal- Mart. Officers reported finding several cardboard boxes riddled with bullet holes set up in the road in front of the couple’s home. Hurley denied firing any shots, but told deputies he went to the home to try to lure the Bunnell man into driving his car, saying he knew his driver’s license was suspended. Hurley said he was upset because of a previous argument and the plan was part of a ruse to get the man arrested. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Amy RE: Mail not getting out Dear Webby, Dear Webby Almost all of my friends and all my clients claim that they are not getting my mail. When I send a test mail to myself, it works OK. What am doing wrong? Amy Dear Amy You are using a yahoo.com email. Because Yahoo refuses to do anything effective to slow down the spam coming from there, all the big blacklists have them blacklisted. Most of the anti-spam programs USE those blacklists to pre-clean people's mails. Your mail gets trashed, unread. I only saw your mail because I was checking mail on the server. As soon as you get a legitimate address, your mail will get through again. If you don't have a computer at home and just use the one at school or work, you can use any decent web mail. Many ISP's offer it to their clients at no extra charge, and for $1 - $5 to people who are not dial-up or hosting clients. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven!" Suzy cried out. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher. "Good and Dead!" yelled Little Johnny. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Rinse and Reuse Coffee Filters By tootic [2 Posts, 19 Comments] I use the natural brown unbleached coffee filters for my electric coffee pot and the non-electric one cup cone coffee maker over and over again. These can be carefully rinsed and air-dried to reuse and still work like new. The inexpensive white ones will fall apart, but the better quality ones should work also. The one cup filter is rinsed out while still in the plastic holder because these are more delicate due of the seam at the bottom. Then hang upside down on a wooden spoon standing up in dish strainer. The coffee basket ones can be hung over the dish strainer edge to dry and then gently placed back in basket pressing sides to fit snug enough to function like new. Keeps paper out of landfill plus stretches your budget. You'll be surprised how many times you can reuse before discarding. By tootic from Plainville, CT ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man from Edinburgh wrote to an English editor, "If you don't stop printing those derogatory Scottish jokes, most of which imply we're cheap, I'm going to quit stealing your stupid magazine." ___________________________________________________
The Mirror
____________________________________________________ Whenever my aunt went to the doctor, she would complain to me about the long delay she always endured. One day, when my aunt's name was finally called, she was asked to step on the scale. "I need to get your weight today," said the nurse. Without a moment's hesitation, my aunt replied, "One hour and 45 minutes!" ------------------- Due to double-booking it used to be just as bad at the clinic, where my doctor is. So I simply slouched down and had a nap. Other people did teh same. Management got the hint when a whole bunch of us were snoring in concert. They are keeping the wait time down to about 15 minutes now. ____________________________________________________ A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations, you have a son!" Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried, "Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours before he did!" ____________________________________________________
The last frontier, our incredible oceans.

Today on August 2

1776 Members of the Continental Congress began adding their
signatures to the Declaration of Independence. 

1791 Samuel Briggs and his son Samuel Briggs, Jr. received a
joint patent for their nail-making machine. They were the
first father-son pair to receive a patent. 

1858 In Boston and New York City the first mailboxes were
installed along streets. 

1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire making cattle farming
in the Wild West economically feasible. 

1892 Charles A. Wheeler patented the first escalator. 

1926 John Barrymore and Mary Astor starred in the first
showing of the Vitaphone System. The system was the
combining of picture and sound for movies. 

1938 Bright yellow baseballs were used in a major league
baseball game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the St. Louis
Cardinals. It was hoped that the balls would be easier to
see. 

1939 Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt
urging the U.S. to have an atomic weapons research program. 

1939 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the Hatch Act. The act
prohibited civil service employees from taking an active
part in political campaigns. 

1943 The U.S. Navy patrol torpedo boat, PT-109, sank after
being attacked by a Japanese destroyer. The boat was under
the command of Lt. John F. Kennedy. 

1945 The Allied conference at Potsdam was concluded. 

1964 The Pentagon reported the first of two North Vietnamese
attacks on U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin as if they
owned the place. 

1987 "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" was re-released. The
film was 50 years old at the time of its re-release. 

1990 Iraq invaded the oil-rich country of Kuwait. Iraq
claimed that Kuwait had driven down oil prices by exceeding
production quotas set by OPEC. 

1995 China ordered the expulsion of two U.S. Air Force
officers. The two were said to have been caught spying on
military sites. 

2016  smiled.


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Protect address book hoax 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, August 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get $60 off!
McAfee Total Protection $29.99 ($60.00 Off)
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Start: 7/29/2016 12:00 AM Pacific
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Todays Bonehead Award: Indiana woman stabs hubby because he did not bring home donuts Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, August 1, in 1774 - Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by chemist Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Television has raised writing to a new low. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) "I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you're single you're as happy as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the apartment." ---Tom Hertz ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River looking across at the Promised Land. Saint Peter was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River." As he saw their perplexed looks, he assured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally, according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water." The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River. George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking of all his sins that were coming back to haunt him. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he began to emerge on the river's other bank. As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see who was next. A shock of surprise registered on his face as he saw Hillary Clinton almost in the middle of the river, and the water was only up to her ankles. He turned to Saint Peter and exclaimed, "I know about Hillary Clinton, and she has sinned much, much more than that!" Before Saint Peter could reply, Hillary Clinton, by now knee deep in the water, was shouting: "Bill is sinking! Bill is sinking!" Bill Clinton was nowhere in sight, so Bush yelled back to Hillary Clinton, who was by now waist deep in the water: "How would you know?" "I'm standing on Bill's shoulders!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks. "Oh, 'bout One-sixty-five." he says. The nurse puts him on the scale. It turns out that his weight is 187. The nurse asks, "Your height?" "Oh, 'bout six feet," he says. The nurse checks and sees that he's only 5 feet 8 3/4 inches. She then takes his blood pressure, and it's very high. "High!" The man explains, "Of course it's high. When I came in here, I was tall and lanky. Now, durnit, I'm short and overweight!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gloria for this one: I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue. "Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title, 'Your Highness'." ______________________________________________________ Alberta from FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michelle Nelson, 37, New Albany, Indiana Indiana woman stabs hubby because he did not bring home donuts A woman is in jail after police found her husband bleeding from a stab wound in his chest in New Albany on Friday. When police responded to the 200 block of Graybrook Lane around 11:30 a.m., they found the man sitting against a tree holding a T-shirt against his chest, according to the police report. The T-shirt was soaked in blood. The man told police he had gone to pick up doughnuts for his wife, 37-year-old Michelle Nelson, New Albany, but the store didn't have the type of doughnut she normally gets. When he returned home without doughnuts, Nelson reportedly "got upset at him for not know[ing] what else she liked after being together for several years." The man told police the argument escalated and he tried to leave the home. Nelson allegedly blocked the door and the man pushed her out of the way. That's when Nelson reportedly lunged at her husband while holding a grill fork. The fork punctured the man's chest. The man told police he pulled the fork out of his chest and left the home. Nelson allegedly followed him out the door and continued yelling at him. A neighbor later told police they hear arguing and saw Nelson chasing her husband down the street. The neighbor said blood was running down the man's chest. The neighbor also noted that the couple had been fighting about every day recently. The man was taken to Floyd Memorial Hospital and treated for non-life threatening injuries, according to the report. Police told the man that he may face a battery charge and that the couple's child was taken into custody by the Indiana Department of Child Services. Nelson is preliminarily charged with aggravated battery. She was booked into the Floyd County jail on a $75,000 cash- surety bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Betty RE: Protect Address Book Dear Webby, You seem to know more about computors than anyone that I know and I don't like sending chain letters but will this really work? ------------------------------------------- Here is a copy of an email message I received from a friend. It might help you protect your Address Book. HOW TO PROTECT YOUR ADDRESS BOOK! I learned a computer trick today that's really ingenious in its simplicity. As you may know, when/if a worm virus gets into your computer it heads straight for your email address book blah, blah, blah... In the window where you would type your friend's first name, type in "A". For the screen name or email address, type "AAAAAAA@AAA.AAA". Blah, blah, blah.... If everybody you know does this then you need not ever worry about opening mail from friends. Pass this on to all your friends. Do you Yahoo!? ---------------------------------- Betty B Dear Betty Silly stuff like that is a complete waste of time. How would the mail program know that ".AAA" is not one of those wacky new hillbilly domains that the spammers are advertising, like ".new", ".inf", ".kid", ".prn", ".boz", etc.? There is NO substitute for a proper anti-virus program. Whenever you read "Pass this on to all your friends.", then you KNOW it is just some prankster testing your gullibility, and harvesting addresses. After all, if you fall for THAT hoax, then there is no limit to what kind of silly stuff can be sold to you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles." "What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group. "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear meeeeee?'." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clean Stainless Steel with Magic Eraser By Judy Pariser S. [131 Posts, 126 Comments] I got this terrific stainless steel whistling tea kettle at the church thrift shop yesterday for $2 (half price sale.) It was full of grease and dirt. The black handle had some white residue on it. I figured for $2 I could take a chance and see how the steel part cleaned up with a soap-filled pad. I assumed the handle would always be stained, but I could live with it. The lady working there told me to use a Magic Eraser instead of steel wool to clean it. I use the knock-offs from the dollar store. Within 2 minutes the entire kettle, including the bottom and handle, looked like new, and I only used half of one pad. I wish I had taken before pictures, but you can see the beautiful after results. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A minister, a priest and a rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Those of my faith," said the minister, "believe that life starts when the heart begins to beat." "We take a different view," said the priest. "We believe life starts at the moment of conception." "Well," said the rabbi, "it is our belief that life starts when the kids move out." ___________________________________________________
A genius says good bye
____________________________________________________ A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself: "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers: "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless but also that perhaps this is a good omen and will put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt and says, "OK." He sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself: "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle. Down to the final hole. The golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfer says, "Certainly." He makes the eagle. As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life." "Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley, and my balls are buried in Vietnam." ____________________________________________________ Bob bought a dog the other day, a really smart one! However, Bob's not really that bright. He named him "Stay". At first he had fun to calling him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" Now the dog just ignores me and keeps typing. ____________________________________________________
Unlikely animal friendships.

Today on August 1
1498 - Christopher Columbus landed on "Isla Santa"
(Venezuela). 

1774 - Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by chemist
Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly. 

1834 - Slavery was outlawed in the British empire with an
emancipation bill. 

1873 - Andrew S. Hallidie successfully tested a cable rail
car. The design was done for San Francisco, CA. 

1893 - Shredded wheat was patented by Henry Perky and
William Ford. 

1894 - The first Sino-Japanese War erupted. The dispute was
over control of Korea. 

1907 - The U.S. Army established an aeronautical division
that later became the U.S. Air Force. 

1914 - Germany declared war on Russia at the beginning of
World War I. 

1936 - Adolf Hitler presided over the Olympic games as they
opened in Berlin. 

1943 - In the Solomon Islands, the U.S. Navy patrol torpedo
boat PT-109 sank after being hit by the Japanese destroyer
Amagiri. The boat was under the command of Lt. John F.
Kennedy. Eleven of the thirteen crew survived. 

1944 - In Warsaw, Poland, an uprising against Nazi
occupation began. The revolt continued until October 2 when
insurgent forces surrendered. 

1946 - In the U.S., the Atomic Energy Commission was
established. 

1953 - The first aluminum-faced building was completed. It
was the first of this type in America. 

1957 - The North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) was
created by the United States and Canada. 

1973 - The movie "American Graffiti" opened. 

1975 - The Helsinki accords pledged the signatory nations to
respect human rights. 

1995 - Westinghouse Electric Corporation announced a deal to
buy CBS for $5.4 billion. 

2006 - Cuban leader Fidel Castro turned over absolute power
when he gave his brother Raul authority while he underwent
an intestinal surgery.

2016  smiled.


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Surveillance by Government 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, July 31

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get $60 off!
McAfee Total Protection $29.99 ($60.00 Off)
This weekend only!

Start: 7/29/2016 12:00 AM Pacific
End: 8/1/2016 11:59 PM Pacific

For USA McAfee Total Protection $29.99

For Canada McAfee Total Protection $29.99

This weekend only!
If you snooze, you loose $60
Todays Bonehead Award: Drunk Iowa mom took toddler to bar, punched child and officer Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 31, in 1498 Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the Western Hemisphere, arrived at the island of Trinidad. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none. --- Jules Renard (1864 - 1910) "The great question that has never been answered and which I have not been able to answer....is, What does a women want?" --- Sigmund Freud "A man is given the choice between loving women and understanding them." --- Ninon de Lenclos (1620-1705) "To be great is to be misunderstood." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson and misquoted. --- Socratex Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. -- Anon ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Nan I sat there waiting for my new doctor to make his way through the file that contained my very extensive medical history. After he finished all 17 pages, he looked at me and said, "You look better in person than you do on paper."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Doug was describing a 30 pound bass he'd caught recently after fighting it for three hours. Bill interrupted the story saying, "I saw the picture you took of that fish. You're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds." Doug replied, "Well . . . a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting." ______________________________________________________ Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally Lisa gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Lisa said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and be a stupid nuisance on your horn for you." ______________________________________________________ Millau Viaduct, France ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mary Jane Carpenter, 25, Des Moines Iowa Drunk Iowa mom took toddler to bar, punched child and officer An Iowa mother is in custody after police say she was already drunk when she took her two-year-old daughter to a bar, according to WHO-TV. Police say they responded to Miss V’s Honky Tonk Island Bar on Hubbell Avenue just before 3:30 p.m. Wednesday after a 911 call from a bartender. Officials say 25-year-old Mary Jane Carpenter was intoxicated when she arrived at the bar with her child. While she drank at the bar, the toddler was running around and rolling on the floor. Police say Carpenter brought the beverage she was drinking in with her, and was not served by the bartender. A bartender was upset because Carpenter was not supervising her child. When the bartender confronted her, she slammed down her drink and began yelling obscenities, police told WHO-TV. Carpenter left the bar with the child and a witness followed her, concerned for the child’s safety. The bartender then called police. The witness told police Carpenter ran west on Hubbell and was acting erratically when she abandoned her child in a stroller. The witness stayed with the child and Carpenter eventually returned before police arrived. Officers say Carpenter was clearly under the influence of alcohol and perhaps another substance. She was taken into custody at that point without incident. A breath test administered on scene yielded a blood alcohol content of .183. A partially full water bottle containing vodka was also found in the child’s stroller. Carpenter was allowed to comfort her child in the back of a police car while they waited for a family member to arrive to take care of the child. While in the back of the police car, Carpenter was able to remove her handcuffs. When officers noticed, they removed the child from the back seat and Carpenter became very upset. While trying to get the toddler back, she punched the child and the officer in the face. Carpenter was taken to the ground and handcuffed again. Police say she is facing charges of child endangerment, assault on a police officer, and public intoxication. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Claudia RE: Surveillance Dear Webby, I read that the Government is installing "Black Boxes" at ISP's to record where everybody surfs to and what we all email and what we download. Is there any truth to that? Some company was advertising software that would protect our privacy, but if that is stored in a little black box at the ISP, how can software on my computer stop that? Claudia Dear Claudia You have been reading too much spam. Remember, spammers lie ! A project to record what everybody does on the net would cost too many Billions of dollars, and there is no "little black box" that could hold all the data that goes through an ISP. They may record what certain terrorists do, or politicians, but that is no different from phone surveillance. There simply is way too much data to record. Unless you are a terrorist or serious criminal, don't worry about it. And you are right with your hunch. Software on your PC can only eliminate data that is on your PC. If you are really worried, try Martin's solution. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage. A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well. "What was her answer?" the instructor asked. "I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't answered my e-mailed yet." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pumpkin Mousse Pie By paula [19 Posts, 81 Comments] This recipe is a reminder of pumpkin pie, yet lighter and fluffier. Ingredients: 1 single pie crust (I used Pillsbury roll out dough) 2 boxes of pumpkin Jello pudding 2 cups of cold milk 6 Tbsp. of brown sugar 2 cups of whipped cream (made from scratch) or Cool Whip plus 1 1/2 cups for garnish 4 Tbsp. of butter 1/2 cup of pecan halves or large pieces Directions: Roll out the pie crust on a lightly floured surface until 12 inches in diameter. Place in a 9 inch pie plate, do not tuck the edges under as you would with a regular pie. You only want them to drape upward in ruffles. Use a fork to prick the bottom and sides of crust. Bake pie crust in a 450 degree F. oven for 10-14 minutes or until edges are lightly browned. Remove from oven and let cool-about 15 minutes. Mix both boxes of pudding with with the 2 cups of milk. Beat by hand with a whisk for 2 minutes making sure all the pudding is dissolved Fold in the whipped cream until thoroughly mixed. Spoon into cooled pie crust, smoothing out the top. Melt butter in a saute skillet, when melted add pecans and brown sugar. Cook until butter and brown sugar are blended well remove from heat and let cool 5-8 minutes. While pecans cool pipe whipped cream around the edge of the pie or you can dollop on what will be individual pieces. After the pecans have cooled a bit spoon over the mousse and garnish whipped cream as well. If you have more pecans then you care to use store in a Ziploc bag and use on Ice cream. Refrigerate until serving. Servings: 6 Time: 10 Minutes Preparation Time 15 Minutes Cooking Time ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Here is a classic from the days before the Internet: A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girl friend's birthday and as they had only started dating, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: personal, but not too personal. Accompanied by the girl friend's older sister, he went to Herrod's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, however, the clerk got the items mixed up and the sister got the gloves and the girl friend got the panties. The guy sent the package to the girl friend with the following note: I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the sales clerk that helped me showed me the ones that she has been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow into them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night. All my love. PS: The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing. ___________________________________________________
Best Ad
____________________________________________________ A young couple had just returned from their honeymoon and were settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met the man in the hallway. She said, "I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your bride would like to have them?" "I'll ask her," the young man responded. He opened his door and called out, "Honey, would you like to see 'Oliver Twist' tonight?" "Hey, Pal," she retorted. "If you show me one more trick with that thing, I'm going home to mother." ____________________________________________________ Pastor Dave Charlton says, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. "About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' "It worked." ____________________________________________________
There has to be a trick to this but I can't for the life of me figure it out!

Today on July 31
1498 Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the
Western Hemisphere, arrived at the island of Trinidad. 

1790 The first U.S. patent was issued to Samuel Hopkins for
his process for making potash and pearl ashes. The substance
was used in fertilizer. 

1919 Germany's Weimar Constitution was adopted. 

1928 MGM’s Leo the lion roared for the first time. He
introduced MGM’s first talking picture, "White Shadows on
the South Seas." 

1932 Enzo Ferrari retired from racing. In 1950 he launched a
series of cars under his name. 

1945 Pierre Laval of France surrendered to Americans in
Austria. 

1959 The Euskadi Ta Askatasuna (ETA) was founded. The group
is known for being an armed Basque nationalist and
separatist organization. 

1964 The American space probe Ranger 7 transmitted pictures
of the moon's surface. 

1971 Men rode in a vehicle on the moon for the first time in
a lunar rover vehicle (LRV). 

1982 Yugoslavia imposed a six-month freeze on prices. 

1989 A pro-Iranian group in Lebanon released a videotape
reportedly showing the hanged body of American hostage
William R. Higgins. 

1989 The Game Boy handheld video game device was released in
the U.S. 

1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Soviet President
Mikhail Gorbachev signed the Strategic Arms Reduction
Treaty. 

1999 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect crashed into the moon. It
was a mission to detect frozen water on the moon's surface.
The craft had been launched on January 6, 1998. 

2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 million feature length
films sold. 

2016  smiled.


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How much surveillance is there? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, July 30

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get $60 off!
McAfee Total Protection $29.99 ($60.00 Off)
This weekend only!

Start: 7/29/2016 12:00 AM Pacific
End: 8/1/2016 11:59 PM Pacific

For USA McAfee Total Protection $29.99

For Canada McAfee Total Protection $29.99

This weekend only!
If you snooze, you loose $60
Todays Bonehead Award: St Louis mother asked relatives to kill witnesses in son’s murder trial. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 29, in 1945 - The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." --- Edmund Burke "The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." --- Albert Einstein You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. --- Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) Ideas are much like children - your own are wonderful. --- Socratex Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none. --- Jules Renard (1864 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gayle for this one: An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When my son first start dating he said, "I want to marry a beautiful woman, a good woman, a smart woman, one who'll be a good mother to our kids, a woman who will make me happy." I told him he'd better make up his mind. ______________________________________________________ It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, "It's not all the devil's fault either; she's pretty hard to get along with." ______________________________________________________ Detians, China. From FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Latasha Mopkins St Louis, MO St Louis mother asked relatives to kill witnesses in son’s murder trial. The St. Louis Circuit Attorney’s Office has filed charges against five people in connection with a conspiracy to kill key witnesses for a woman’s son on trial for murder, according to KTVI. A St. Louis teen is accused of murder, and his mother is accused having two witnesses killed, to keep her son out of jail. This started with the murder of a 16-year-old almost three years ago. Police arrested a suspect, but prosecutors dropped the charges last year. "We had a mom who wanted to make sure her son did not go to jail, wasn't found guilty of his murder charges. So, she started this plan. That's what set it off. She used relatives and other people that she knew to make sure that they were quieted." said Assistant Circuit Attorney Beth Orwick. In September 2013, 16-year old Chauncey Brown was gunned down near Club 187 in north St. Louis. Homicide detectives with the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department believed Brown, a student at Sumner High School, was killed over a long-standing feud. The rest of the story of all the related murders is at WQAD8 Who said BLM stands for "Black Lies & Murder" ? ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Claudia RE: Surveillance Dear Webby, I read that the Government is installing "Black Boxes" at ISP's to record where everybody surfs to and what we all email and what we download. Is there any truth to that? Some company was advertising software that would protect our privacy, but if that is stored in a little black box at the ISP, how can software on my computer stop that? Claudia Dear Claudia You have been reading too much spam. Remember, spammers lie ! A project to record what everybody does on the net would cost too many Billions of dollars, and there is no "little black box" that could hold all the data that goes through an ISP. They may record what certain terrorists do, or politicians, but that is no different from phone surveillance. There simply is way too much data to record. Unless you are a terrorist or serious criminal, don't worry about it. And you are right with your hunch. Software on your PC can only eliminate data that is on your PC. If you are really worried, try Martin's solution. http://webby.com/humor/Martins-hot-PC.jpg Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert: It was very windy, and this particular little girl was only six years old and small for her age. When her mother asked her to clean off the front sidewalk, the wind nearly blew her away. She picked up the broom countless times, but each time, the wind got the best of her and knocked her over. Her mother came out a few minutes later to see how she was doing and found her stuffing rocks in her pocket. "I thought you were cleaning off the sidewalk," her mother said. "What in the world are you doing?" The little girl replied: "Now? I weigh me down to sweep." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Chocolate Oat Loaf By Judy Pariser S. [130 Posts, 120 Comments] Approximate Time: 35-40 minutes to bake, 10 minutes to prepare Yield: 12 slices Ingredients: 2 cups old-fashioned oats 1 Tbsp pumpkin pie spice 1 Tbsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp baking soda 1 cup pumpkin puree (I used 1/2 can of pumpkin) 1 cup almond milk (I'm sure regular milk or another liquid could be substituted) 1 Tbsp pure vanilla extract 2 eggs 3/4 cup chocolate chips Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a loaf pan. In a bowl, combine the dry ingredients. In a smaller bowl, combine the wet ingredients. Stir the wet ingredients into the bowl with the dry ingredients. Fold in the chocolate chips. Put into the prepared loaf pan. Bake 35-45 minutes or until the center is firm. Cool 10 minutes, then remove from the pan and finish cooling. Wrap and place in the refrigerator. It will slice better when refrigerated. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Looking for something different for my sister's birthday, I decided on a pair of pajamas made up of bright scenic prints of the natural wonders of the world. I wrapped them up and sent them off. Now I just received this e-mail from her... "You Bozo," she wrote. "I don't mind having '12,948 feet high' indicated on my chest, but I thoroughly resent "greatest natural span" across my bottom!" ___________________________________________________
Choirboys singing
____________________________________________________ A man was going to the dentist to get some teeth pulled. The dentist was about to give the man some local anesthesia to numb the pain. "Don't give me any drugs doc, having a tooth pulled is relatively easy, and it's quick.", the man said. The doctor pulled the first tooth out and the man just grunted. Then the doctor attempted to pull the second tooth, only this one snapped in half and the dentist knocked another tooth out with his pliers. But again the man just grunted. "Wow, that sure is a lot of pain just to grunt at, have you ever felt pain like that before?" asked the amazed dentist. "Well, twice actually." said the man, "The first time was when I was out in the woods and had to take use a washrom really bad. The sit-down type. I pulled down my pants and jumped over this log. Just then a bear trap closed on my balls and I started running...." "Damn that must have hurt." the dentist interrupted. "What was the second time?" "Oh, that would have been when the bear trap came to the end of it's chain." ____________________________________________________ HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining. The day is young. We've got our whole lives ahead of us. And you're inside worrying about a stupid, burned-out light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Not only that, but I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp! German Shepard: No. You told me to sit. Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: You can bring a new lightbulb in, but you are NOT going to take any lightbulbs or any of my other toys out of this room. Ever. Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. What are servants for? Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb.Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there... Greyhound: It isn't moving. I don't see it. Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? ____________________________________________________
What unusual rings!

Today on July 30

1502 - Christopher Columbus landed at Guanaja in the Bay
Islands off the coast of Honduras during his fourth voyage. 

1898 - "Scientific America" carried the first magazine
automobile ad. The ad was for the Winton Motor Car Company
of Cleveland, OH. 

1942 - The WAVES were created by legislation signed by U.S.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The members of the Women's
Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service were a part of the
U.S. Navy. 

1945 - The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese
submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of the
Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only
316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. 

1956 - The phrase "In God We Trust" was adopted as the U.S.
national motto. 

1965 - U.S. President Johnson signed into law Social
Security Act that established Medicare and Medicaid. It went
into effect the following year. 

1974 - The U.S. House of Representatives Judiciary Committee
voted to impeach President Nixon for blocking the Watergate
investigation and for abuse of power. 

1987 - Indian troops arrived in Jaffna, Sri Lanka, to disarm
the Tamil Tigers and enforce a peace pact. 

1990 - In Spring Hill, TN, the first Saturn automobile
rolled off the assembly line. 

1991 - In China, construction began on the Oriental Pearl
Radio & TV Tower. 

1998 - A group of Ohio machine-shop workers (who call
themselves the Lucky 13) won the $295.7 million Powerball
jackpot. It was the largest-ever American lottery. 

2001 - Lance Armstrong became the first American to win
three consecutive Tours de France. 

2003 - In Mexico, the last 'old style' Volkswagon Beetle
rolled off an assembly line. 

2016  smiled.


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Mysterious dial-up 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, July 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get $60 off!
McAfee Total Protection $29.99 ($60.00 Off)
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If you snooze, you loose $60
Todays Bonehead Award: Georgia man won $3 million in lottery, used money to build failed crystal meth empire Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 29, in 1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was inaugurated when two people held a conversation between New York, NY and San Francisco, CA. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. --- Art Spander A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is someone who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. --- Lisa Kirk ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was a woman who spent some months serving God in Kenya. On her final visit to a remote township she attended a medical clinic. As the Maasai women there began to sing together, she found herself deeply moved by their hauntingly beautiful harmonies. She wanted to always remember this moment and try to share it with friends when she arrived home. With tears flowing down her cheeks, she turned to her friend and asked, "Can you please tell me the translation of the words to this song?" Her friend looked at her and solemnly replied, "If you boil the water, you won't get the shits."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING (and ruin a beautiful resume): --Education: College, August 1880-May 1984. --Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse. --Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget. --I'm a rabid typist. --Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation. ______________________________________________________ On a curvy mountain highway late one night, Bob was complaining about the car behind us. "That guy must be drunk!" he said. "Every time I move over to let him pass, he slows down. When I get back on the road, he gets closer and stays on my tail." Thirty minutes later, the car turned on a set of flashing blue lights. Coming up to his window, the officer said, "Sir, I'd like you to take an alcohol test. You've been swerving on and off the road for half an hour." -------------------- That happened to me too once. However, I knew the road and decided to outrun the "drunk". His buddies were waiting for me in the next town in the morning, when I stopped for coffee. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture bfrom Sweden Sweden ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Reported by Annette An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ronnie Music Jr., 45, Brunswick, Georgia Georgia man won $3 million in lottery, used money to build failed crystal meth empire It didn’t work out for Ronnie Music Jr., 45, who won $3 million in a scratch-off lottery game last year and decided to invest that money in a crystal meth trafficking ring, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution. According to federal prosecutors, Music pleaded guilty last week on federal drug trafficking and firearms charges. His co-conspirators were caught trying to sell 11 pounds of crystal meth worth about $500,000 in September 2015. Music was then identified as the supplier, prosecutors said. He allegedly used money from his lottery win to buy the meth so he could resell it. During the investigation, agents seized more than $1 million in meth along with guns, ammunition, vehicles and $600,000 in cash. “Music decided to test his luck by sinking millions of dollars of lottery winnings into the purchase and sale of crystal meth,” said U.S. Attorney Ed Tarver. Tarver said the “unsound investment strategy” could result in a life sentence. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Kay RE: Mysterious dial-up Dear Webby, My internet dial up screen keeps poping up...not so much when I'm on the internet, but when I'm working off line...is there any thing I can do to correct this? Thanks again for all the laughs and good information that you send every day. Kay Dear Kay Usually that is a sign of some spy-ware trying to report on you, or of some mal-ware trying to dial you up via a Caribbean connection. I would most urgently advise to run MalwareBytes, McAfee, and Spybot-Search&Destroy, in that order, immediately! In very rare occasions that mystery dialling can be cause by a wrong setting in your mail program AND your dial-up set- up. If the mystery dialling stops if all Internet related programs like the mail program are shut down, then that would indicate that the mail program is trying to check the mail every so many minutes even when you are off-line. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I saw two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cocoa Brownie Recipe By Robin [5,891 Posts, 29 Comments] Ingredients 3/4 cup flour 1 cup sugar 1/4 tsp. salt 1/4 cup cocoa 1/2 cup soft butter 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla 1/2 cup chopped nuts Directions Greased 8x8 inch pan. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Sift dry ingredients together into large mixing bowl. Add butter, eggs, and vanilla. Beat for 2 minutes on medium speed. Clean off beater and remove. Stir in nuts with a wooden spoon until just distributed. Turn into prepared pan and spread out to even thickness. Bake 20-22 minutes or until barely done. Mark, cool in pan on cake rack, then cut and store like brownies. Makes 16 (2 inch) brownies. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Summer Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break. "We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell 'Punxsutawney'?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Ohio." ___________________________________________________
When The Roses Bloom Again: Billy Bragg and Wilco
____________________________________________________ A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes. ____________________________________________________ > From Phil I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up her machine, I told her I have dextrocardia. "What's that?" she asked. "It means my heart is on the right side of my chest rather than on the left," I answered. "You should set up your machine to that side or the signals will be too weak and confusing." As she attached the wires, she asked casually, "Tell me, have you had that for long?" ____________________________________________________
PEOPLE ARE AWESOME! Best of the week July, 2016

Today on July 29

1588 The English defeated the Spanish Armada in the Battle
of Gravelines. 

1754 The first international boxing match was held. The 25-
minute match was won when Jack Slack of Britain knocked out
Jean Petit from France. 

1874 Major Walter Copton Winfield of England received U.S.
patent for the lawn-tennis court. 

1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was
inaugurated when two people held a conversation between New
York, NY and San Francisco, CA. 

1940 John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO, completed a 292-mile
swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis to
Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes. 

1957 The International Atomic Energy Agency was established.


1958 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration
(NASA) was authorized by the U.S. Congress. 

1968 Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's
stance against artificial methods of birth control. 

1975 OAS (Organization of American States) members voted to
lift collective sanctions against Cuba. The U.S. government
welcomed the action and announced its intention to open
serious discussions with Cuba on normalization. 

1981 England's Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were
married. 

1985 General Motors announced that Spring Hill, TN, would be
the home of the Saturn automobile assembly plant. 

1993 The Israeli Supreme Court acquitted retired Ohio
autoworker John Demjanjuk of being Nazi death camp guard
"Ivan the Terrible." His death sentence was thrown out and
he was set free. 

1997 Minamata Bay in Japan was declared free of mercury 40
years after contaminated food fish were blamed for deaths
and birth defects. 

1998 The United Auto Workers union ended a 54-day strike
against General Motors. The strike caused $2.8 billion in
lost revenues. 

2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered a new
planet (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.

2016  smiled.


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Too many Pop-Ups 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, July 28

Thank you, Joseph!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Illinois Minister caught breaking into another church and trying to pry open the safe to steal money. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 28, in 1866 The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress for the standardization of weights and measures throughout the United States. 150 years ago. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. --- Robert Orben A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is someone who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. --- Lisa Kirk ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Robert Florida woman stops alligator attack using a small Beretta pistol This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.... Here is her story in her own words: "While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 24-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!" "Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.... The 'gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible." "His insurance was the big bonus. I'm comfortable now."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bob : "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too." Bill : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?" Bob : "The judge told him." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gayle for bringng back this classic: When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people, like me, and bachelors who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN 6-7 lb. chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.) 1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) salt/pepper to taste ______________________________ Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's butt blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, its done!!! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jim for this picture: Lake Erie ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Utt, 39, Canmton, Illinois Illinois Minister caught breaking into another church and trying to pry open the safe to steal money. The minister of a Canton church was arrested Monday and charged with burglarizing another church, according to Canton police. David R. Utt, 39, of Canton was charged with burglary to a church, criminal damage to property over $300, and possession of burglary tools, police said in a news release. He remained in the Fulton County Jail in Lewistown on $60,000 bond Tuesday. Utt is minister of the New Hope Community Church in downtown Canton, police said in the news release. About 1:10 a.m. Monday, Canton officers on patrol saw a minivan in the back parking lot of the First Church of the Nazarene, 2051 E. Chestnut St. The van was partially in the grass with the windows down and the key in the ignition. The van was still warm, but no one was around the vehicle. Officers located an open door in the church and began a search. After hearing a noise, they found Utt using tools to try to break into the office safe, according to the news release. And though Utt played poor mouth to police, he was released from jail a day later, on $6,000 cash bail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: David RE: Pop-Ups Dear Webby, HELP. The kids computer is basically useless. They can do nothing put close down pop-ups. They don't stop. I wonder if this is related. My wife noted a pop-up, looking like an "official" Microsoft warning implying she needed to do a download. Reading it carefully, she noted that by clicking ok, she was giving permission for some company to hit her up with a pop-up at least once a minute. Obviously, she deleted it. Suspect the kids may have come across the same thing and not read it so carefully. Any suggestions? David I would run Spybot-Search&Destroy. You can get it free at https://www.safer-networking.org/dl/ If that doesn't help, format and re-install Windows. Also check your phone bill carefully. Some of those things wait for the screen saver to come on, then take the machine off-line and quietly dial back up via some Caribbean ISP, at $25 or more per minute. Call your phone company and get them to restrict the line, to which the kid's computer is connected, to local calls only. Ask for confirmation of that IN WRITING, and also write down the date, time, and the name or number of the operator who accepted your order for the local-only setting. At $25 per minute even one hour can make a huge difference in your phone bill. Until you have placed that order, and have some proof that you did, you don't have a leg to stand on for disputing calls that HAVE been made from your house to those places. DSL is a bit safer, and cable is currently quite safe in that regard. But to get rid of the nuisance pop-ups you still need to run Spybot-Search&Destroy. There are simple pop-up stoppers available, but those often cause more trouble than they are worth. Best to just clean the system and get rid of the spyware. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one who is broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics in the shipping department." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Personal Apple Pies By Cory [15 Posts, 93 Comments] This was a quick solution when I had family at the last minute for dinner. My in-laws favorite dessert is apple pie, so I made these muffin tin personal pies. This took me about 1 1/4 hours from prep to finish. I made the crust and filling from scratch. You could use pre-made crust and filling to cut the time by more than half. Approximate Time: 1 1/4 hours Yield: 12 individual piesPersonal Apple Pies Ingredients: Filling 4-6 large apples 1/2 tsp cinnimon 1/4 cup sugar 1 Tbsp flour Crust 2 cups flour 1 tsp salt 2/3 cup shortening 5-7 Tbsp ice cold water Steps: To make filling: wash, peel and dice apples. Personal Apple PiesPersonal Apple Pies Add cinnamon, flour, and sugar. Mix together and set aside. To make the crust: sift flour and salt together in a bowl. Place flour and salt mixture in a food processor. Add shortening. Blend until pea sized pieces form. Through food processor spout add ice cold water slowly one tablespoon at a time. Add water until all flour mixture in moistened and pull away from edges of food processor to form a ball. Do not add more than 7 Tbsp. of water. Divide dough in half. Personal Apple PiesPersonal Apple Pies Roll dough out slightly thicker than when putting in a pie plate. Cut dough into approximately 4 inch squares and line muffin tins with them. Personal Apple PiesPersonal Apple Pies Place filling in each individual tin, and fold over dough. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 30 minutes or until golden brown. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A woman devised her own system for labeling homemade meals she stored in the freezer. Instead of calling them Chicken Parmigiana or Meatloaf, she labeled them Whatever, Anything, I Don't Know and, her favorite, Food. That way when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, she was certain to have it on hand. ___________________________________________________
When The Roses Bloom Again: Billy Bragg and Wilco
____________________________________________________ One day a four-year-old son and his mother were watching TV. As they sat on the couch, she stated rubbing his head and noticed his hair was getting long. She told him he needed another haircut, then asked him, "Why does your hair grow so fast?" He replied, "Because you water it too much!" ____________________________________________________ You have all seen those little hand-painted signs hung in so many kitchens. Many are heartwarming and homey, but many are simply hilarious. Here is a collection of the funnier ones: *A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious. *No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. *A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. *A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. *Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. *Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. *A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. *Help keep the kitchen clean - take me out for supper. *Housework done properly, can kill you. *Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead fairly normal lives. ____________________________________________________
What young people looked like 100 years ago.

Today on July 28
1821 Peru declared its independence from Spain. 

1866 The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress
for the standardization of weights and measures throughout
the United States. 150 years ago.

1914 World War I officially began when Austria-Hungary
declared war on Serbia. 

1932 Federal troops forcibly dispersed the "Bonus Army" of
World War I veterans who had gathered in Washington, DC.
They were demanding money they were not scheduled to receive
until 1945. 

1941 Plans for the Pentagon were approved by the U.S. House
of Representatives. 

1942 L.A. Thatcher received a patent for a coin-operated
mailbox. The device stamped envelopes when money was
inserted. 

1945 A U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of New
York City's Empire State Building. 14 people were killed and
26 were injured. 

1965 U.S. President Johnson announced he was increasing the
number of American troops in South Vietnam from 75,000 to
125,000. 

1982 San Francisco, CA, became the first city in the U.S. to
ban handguns. 

1998 Bell Atlantic and GTE announced $52 billion deal that
created the second-largest phone company. 

1998 Serbian military forces seized the Kosovo town of
Malisevo. 

1998 Monica Lewinsky received blanket immunity from
prosecution to testify before a grand jury about her
relationship with U.S. President Clinton. 

2006 Researchers announced that two ancient reptiles had
been found off Australia. The Umoonasaurus and Opallionectes
were the first of their kind to be found in the period soon
after the Jurassic era.

2016  smiled.


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Adjust font and icon sizes in Windows 10 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, July 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Boneheads arrested after they left 3 children in desert without water or shoes Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 27, in 1967 U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner Commission to assess the causes of the violence in the wake of urban rioting. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The saying "Getting there is half the fun" became obsolete with the advent of commercial airlines. --- Henry J. Tillman To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all. --- Peter McWilliams ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Annette Which side of the fence? If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test! If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. If a Democrat is down-and-out he wonders who is going to take care of him. If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. A Democrat demands that those they don't like be shut down. If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. If a Democrat decides he needs health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his. If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Dear Diary: MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY: This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. Lance ______________________________________________________ Recently a young woman came into my father's insurance office with her newborn twins. Dad asked her if she ever had any trouble telling them apart. She gave him a funny look before responding, "No, I haven't had any problem. This is Benjamin, and that is Elizabeth." ______________________________________________________ Venice, from FB ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mary Bell, 34, Gary Cassle, 29, 29-Plams, California Boneheads arrested after they left 3 children in desert without water or shoes A mother and her boyfriend were arrested after they punished her three young children by leaving them in the desert in Twentynine Palms in temperatures just shy of 100 degrees on Wednesday, sheriff's officials said. The children -- a 7-year-old girl, 6-year-old boy and a 5- year-old boy -- were discovered about 11:20 a.m. near the 74-000 block of Samarkand Drive, according to the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department. Their parents were "down the road from the children," sheriff's spokeswoman Cynthia Bachman said. Officials haven't determined why the children were being punished, but they did not need medical treatment after they were found. They had been in the desert for about 45 minutes without any shoes or water before a local resident alerted authorities. At the time, temperatures were about 95-100 degrees, according to the National Weather Service. "The temperature was going up over the course of that hour," said Todd Lericos, a meteorologist. Temperatures topped off at 104 degrees and there was no wind to help cool the area, he said. Parents punish 3 kids by leaving them in the desert near Twentynine Palms, California, left them without shoes or water in temperatures of 95-100 degrees. Mary Bell, and Gary Cassle A mother and her boyfriend were arrested after they punished her three young children by leaving them in the desert in Twentynine Palms in temperatures just shy of 100 degrees on Wednesday, sheriff's officials said. The children -- a 7-year-old girl, 6-year-old boy and a 5- year-old boy -- were discovered about 11:20 a.m. near the 74-000 block of Samarkand Drive, according to the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department. Their parents were "down the road from the children," sheriff's spokeswoman Cynthia Bachman said. Officials haven't determined why the children were being punished, but they did not need medical treatment after they were found. They had been in the desert for about 45 minutes without any shoes or water before a local resident alerted authorities. At the time, temperatures were about 95-100 degrees, according to the National Weather Service. "The temperature was going up over the course of that hour," said Todd Lericos, a meteorologist. Temperatures topped off at 104 degrees and there was no wind to help cool the area, he said. A mother and her boyfriend were arrested after they punished her three young children by leaving them in the desert in Twentynine Palms in temperatures just shy of 100 degrees on Wednesday, sheriff's officials said. The children -- a 7-year-old girl, 6-year-old boy and a 5- year-old boy -- were discovered about 11:20 a.m. near the 74-000 block of Samarkand Drive, according to the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department. Their parents were "down the road from the children," sheriff's spokeswoman Cynthia Bachman said. Officials haven't determined why the children were being punished, but they did not need medical treatment after they were found. They had been in the desert for about 45 minutes without any shoes or water before a local resident alerted authorities. At the time, temperatures were about 95-100 degrees, according to the National Weather Service. "The temperature was going up over the course of that hour," said Todd Lericos, a meteorologist. Temperatures topped off at 104 degrees and there was no wind to help cool the area, he said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Barb RE: Getting used to W10 Dear Webby, Thanks! I just ordered a new computer since a few other things is wrong with this one and it’s time for a new on. I hate the fact that I’ll have to get use to Windoz 10 but I know I can do it. It didn’t take me long to learn Windows 7, or XP, nor 98 or 95, can’t remember the old ones now. LOL! I like learning new things, keeps the mind sharp. I just punch buttons and click on things until I’ve learned the system and look up on line any questions I have. I’ll ask you if I can’t find it online. I don’t think Skype comes with my new one since I didn’t order Windows Office. Doesn’t it come bundled with Windows Office? I have Windows Office and Skype on this one. I plan to download Apache OpenOffice since it’s free and does the same as Windows Office. I think I can download Skype from the internet too. I only use it when my granddaughter wants to Skype with me. Barb Dear Barb! You don't have to get used to W10. Remember the link I posted a number of times to Classic Shell ? Classic Shell With that you can make W10 look and feel like W7, or even XP, if you want. Skype is totally independent, even though Microsoft paid 8.2 BILLION bucks for it to make sure Google didn't get it. You simply go to http://skype.com, download it and install it, and it works. Skype has been around a long time and is quite refined. I agree re open Office, even though I still use Excel 2000 for a few spreadsheets, mostly because I am too lazy to transfer them. Other than that, Open Office is the default on Webby machines. To change the font and icon sizes, try this: Settings > System > Display > Change the size of text, apps and other items You can adjust the sizes there. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Cora for this one: What are the three fastest means of communication? 1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Tellawoman! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Persian Lamb Kabobs By attosa [224 Posts, 509 Comments] This is a very simple yet extremely delicious recipe for authentic Persian lamb kabobs. If you don't have a barbecue grill, use your broiler. Approximate Time: 20 minutes (3+ hours to marinate) Yield: 4Persian Lamb Kabobs Ingredients: 1 lb boneless lamb filet or boneless lamb chops, cut into 1 inch cubes 1 medium onion 2 lemons 1 Tbsp plain yogurt 2 tsp salt 2 Tbsp olive oil Steps: Grate onions. In a bowl, combine lamb, onions, juice of 2 lemons, yogurt, salt and olive oil. Let marinate in the fridge for at least 3 hours. Remove from fridge 20 minutes before you plan on cooking, to bring it to room temperature. Thread lamb chunks onto metal skewers. If you don't have any, you can soak bamboo skewers in water for 30 minutes and use them. For wider meat, use two skewers per row. Add any other types of vegetables desired onto other skewers. I used tomato halves and mini peppers. On a barbecue, grill for about 5 to 8 minutes per side. If you're using your broiler, this may take about 5 minutes per side, depending on how close to the heat the rack is. You want to get a slight char on all the meat and veggies. Serve with buttered basmati rice and sumac. Perfection! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob's daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy. One morning at breakfast she announced, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon." That's when her little brother piped up, saying, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom?" ___________________________________________________
When The Roses Bloom Again: Billy Bragg and Wilco
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Mona for this classic: An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The salesman says, "Why do you ask?" She says, "They turned off the electricity yesterday because we are too far behind with paying the bill. ____________________________________________________ A girl says to a salesman, "I'm not sure if I should buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker." He says, "Well, that depends. Are you gonna sweat, or are you gonna break wind?" ____________________________________________________
10 Bizarre archaeological discoveries.

Today on July 27

1214 At the Battle of Bouvines in France, Philip Augustus of
France defeated John of England. 

1245 Frederick II was deposed by a council at Lyons after
they found him guilty of sacrilege. 

1663 The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act,
which required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in
British ships from British ports. It did not go over well.

1689 Government forces defeated the Scottish Jacobites at
the Battle of Killiecrankie. 

1694 The Bank of England received a royal charter as a
commercial institution. 

1777 The marquis of Lafayette arrived in New England to help
the rebellious American colonists fight the British. 

1866 Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable.
It was an underwater telegraph from North America to Europe.


1909 Orville Wright set a record for the longest airplane
flight. He was testing the first Army airplane and kept it
in the air for 1 hour 12 minutes and 40 seconds. 

1914 British troops invaded the streets of Dublin, Ireland,
and began to disarm Irish rebels. 

1918 The Socony 200 was launched. It was the first concrete
barge and was used to carry oil. 

1921 Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates
announced the discovery of the hormone insulin. 

1940 Bugs Bunny made his official debut in the Warner Bros.
animated cartoon "A Wild Hare." 

1944 U.S. troops took over Guam. 

1947 The World Water Ski Organization was founded in Geneva,
Switzerland. 

1953 The armistice agreement that ended the Korean War was
signed at Panmunjon, Korea. 

1955 The Allied occupation and looting of Austria ended. 

1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent an additional 5,000
"advisers" to South Vietnam. 

1965 In the U.S., the Federal Cigarette Labeling and
Advertising Act was signed into law. The law required health
warnings on all cigarette packages. 

1967 U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner Commission
to assess the causes of the violence in the wake of urban
rioting. 

1974 The U.S. Congress asked for impeachment procedures
against President Richard Nixon. 

1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, died
in a hospital near Cairo, Egypt. 

1993 IBM's new chairman, Louis V. Gerstner, Jr., announced
an $8.9 billion plan to cut the company's costs. 

1999 The U.S. space shuttle Discovery completed a five-day
mission commanded by Air Force Col. Eileen Collins. It was
the first shuttle mission to be commanded by a woman. 

2003 It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.)
that there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation
used 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation
technology to trawl the loch. Reports of sightings of the
"Loch Ness Monster" began in the 6th century. 

2006 Intel Corp introduced its Core 2 Duo microprocessors.

2016  smiled.


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Is Ad-Aware good enough? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, July 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Drunk Florida bonehead hits 3 cars and a scooter and keeps on driving with the scooter driver's body sprawled across the hood of his car. He was also driving north in the southbound lane. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 26, in More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. --- Andrew S. Tanenbaum Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. --- Andre Gide ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Norm During a lull between the speeches at a recent Parliament Hill Correspondent's dinner, Sophie Grégoire-Trudeau leans over to chat with Harjit Sajjan, Minister of Defence. "Ya know, I bought Justin a parrot for his birthday. The bird is so smart, Justin has already taught him to pronounce over two hundred words!" "Wow, that's pretty impressive," says Harjit, "but, you do realize that he just speaks the words... he doesn't really understand what they mean." "Oh, I know," Sophie replies, "Neither does the parrot."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My husband and I had just finished tucking our five young ones into bed one evening when we heard sobbing coming from three- year-old Billy's room. Rushing to his side, we found him crying hysterically. He had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind. Desperate to calm him, my husband palmed a penny that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy's ear. Billy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my husband's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully, "Do it again, Daddy!" ______________________________________________________ A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar -- effectively filling the empty spaces in the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. "Take care of the rocks first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a beer with a friend." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Marc Thomas Boysen, New Port Richey, Florida. Drunk Florida bonehead hits 3 cars and a scooter and keeps on driving with the scooter driver's body sprawled across the hood of his car. He was also driving north in the southbound lane. Police in New Port Richey have arrested a man they say hit and killed a man on a scooter before leaving the scene with the victim still on the hood of his car. It happened just after midnight Saturday in the area of U.S. Hwy. 19 and Main Street. Officers say 43-year-old Marc Thomas Boysen was driving westbound on Main Street when he crashed into the back of a car stopped at that intersection. Then, Boysen reportedly left the scene of that crash and drove northbound on U.S. 19 in the southbound lanes, where he crashed head-on into a scooter, killing the male driver instantly. Boysen then sideswiped another sedan, while still traveling north in the southbound lanes. Police say Boysen entered the parking lot of the Winghouse, with the man still on the hood of his car, then crashed into an unoccupied parked car which threw the male off the hood of the car. Witnesses say bystanders from the Winghouse rushed towards Boysen's car, pulled him out and held him there until police arrived. So far, the name of the victim on the scooter has not been released. Boysen is facing multiple charges, including Leaving the Scene of a Crash Involving a Death, Leaving the Scene of a Crash with Property Damage, DUI Property Damage and Felony D.U.I. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jessie RE: Is Ad-Aware good enough? Dear Webby, If I have Ad-aware, do I need Spybot Search & Destroy? Do I need to run both? Thanks for all the help I gotten from your tips. And the laughs! Jessie Dear Jessie Some computer magazine found that Ad-Aware kills about 50% of the spyware. In my own tests, maybe because I had it tuned better, it found about 70% of the stuff that Spybot- Search&Destroy found. 70% is not good enough for me when it comes to spyware and malware. I want ALL of it dumped. Vindictive old goat ? You bet :-) Since both are free, use them both. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The wife appeared at the breakfast table in curlers and a worn bathrobe. The husband looked up from his newspaper and said, "Why can't you dress for breakfast like you did before we got married?" "I'm married now!" she snapped back. "And I'm not pregnant any more!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Whites Aren't White After Washing Try laundry bluing. That is what people used in previous times. It should be in the laundry section of your store, and this is what it is for, to whiten your whites. 4H kids use in on the white hair on their show calves. If it works on those stains, it should work on laundry! By OliveOyl [601 Comments] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back." ___________________________________________________
Boeing produces over forty 737 airplanes a month. The train arrives with the main body in the morning. This 3½ minute video is fascinating.
____________________________________________________ MOM TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside, I just finished cleaning!" MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of that carpet!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into next week!" MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC "Because I said so, that's why!" MOM TAUGHT ME FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER "It looks like a tornado went through your room!" MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT ENVY "There are millions of less fortunate kids in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" And most of all..... MOM TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!" ____________________________________________________ One morning a local highway department crew reached their job site and realized they have forgotten all their shovels. The crew's foreman calls the office and tells his supervisor the situation. The supervisor replies, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels. Tell them to just lean on each other until the shovels arrive." ____________________________________________________
PEOPLE ARE AWESOME! Best of the week July 2016

Today on July 26

1775 A postal system was established by the 2nd Continental
Congress of the United States. The first Postmaster General
was Benjamin Franklin. 

1881 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent
application for a facsimile telegraph (U.S. Pat. 479,184). 

1893 Commercial production of the Addressograph started in
Chicago, IL. 

1907 The Chester was launched. It was the first turbine-
propelled ship. 

1945 Winston Churchill resigned as Britain's prime minister.


1952 King Farouk I of Egypt abdicated in the wake of a coup
led by Gamal Abdel Nasser. 

1953 Fidel Castro began his revolt against Fulgencio Batista
with an unsuccessful attack on an army barracks in eastern
Cuba. Castro eventually ousted Batista six years later. 

1956 Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized the
Suez Canal. 

1971 Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. 

1998 AT&T and British Telecommunications PLC announced they
were forming a joint venture to combine international
operations and develop a new Internet system. 

1999 1,500 pieces of Marilyn Monroe's personal items went on
display at Christie's in New York, NY. The items went on
sale later in 1999. 

2016  smiled.


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Bounces from mail, that I did not send 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, July 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man robs pizza delivery man, craps himself when he sees police Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 25, in More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if you foul up, there's no law against whacking it around a little. --- Joe Martin In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is. --- Chuck Reid ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A nice old lady went to an auction sale. There she was attracted to a parrot in a gilded cage. The parrot was large, very healthy looking and exquisitely colored. The old lady was so attracted by the parrot's appearance that she couldn't help but bid on it. She bid, determined to have the parrot, but another bidder competed and drove the price very high. The old lady eventually bought the parrot. She was at the cashier's desk and told the cashier that she was so excited about the beautiful appearance of the parrot that she had neglected to ask if it could talk. The parrot spoke up, "Who do you think was bidding against you?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A funny story circulated recently about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes. Doyle evidently told of a time when he climbed into a taxi cab in Paris. Before he could utter a word, the driver turned to him and asked, "Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?" Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver if he had ever seen him before. "No, sir," the driver responded, "I have never seen you before." Then he explained, "This morning's paper had a story about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi stand where people who return from Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The ink spot on your right index finger suggests to me that you are a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle." "This is truly amazing!" the writer exclaimed. "You are a real-life counterpart to my fictional creation, Sherlock Holmes!" "There is one more thing," the driver said. "What is that?" asked Mr. Doyle. "Your name is on the front of your suitcase." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Leroy for this one: At my church one day, a woman who had often snubbed me, went out of her way to give me a big hug before the service. I was surprised by her gesture and wondered what had initiated her change of heart. I got my answer at the end of the service. "Your assignment for next week," the minister instructed, "is the same as last week. I want you to go out there and hug somebody you just can't stand." ______________________________________________________ SandFire Timelapse ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brent Van Besien, 30, Eustis Florida Florida man robs pizza delivery man, craps himself when he sees police On June 27 around 8:40 p.m., an employee of the Mount Dora Domino’s Pizza on Highway 441 was heading out for a delivery when 30-year-old Brent Van Besien allegedly approached him with gun, demanding money. The pizza delivery man asked if it was a joke – and Van Besien, of Eustis, told him "no, and he would kill” him. Fearing for his life, the pizza man gave him all that he had – a whopping ten dollars – and Van Besien ran away. Van Besien then made his wife drive him home from Domino’s, according to a Lake County Sheriff's Office report. There, they changed clothes before going to a gas station. When the couple tried returning again to their apartment, Van Besien saw deputies at their home. That's when he soiled himself – and made his wife take him to his mom’s house. There, Van Besien told his mother “he did something stupid, the cops were looking for him and he could get ten years for it,” according to a report. Van Besien then asked to come inside because he had “crapped his pants” and wanted to tell her goodbye, his mother told deputies. Van Besien’s mother ultimately let him inside for a short time before sending him back home, according to a report. That’s where deputies met him and searched his apartment. Deputies didn’t immediately find any evidence. They did, however, find a roll of toilet paper in his wife’s purse that she said her mother-in-law gave to her. When deputies questioned his wife, she told them about her husband’s crime and that she was a victim of domestic violence, who was forced to drive him around. The gun was later determined to be a BB gun. Deputies eventually arrested Van Besien Tuesday and booked him into Lake County jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maureen RE: Bounces from mail I did not send Dear Webby, I am getting mail claiming I had sent letters infected with the @MM virus to addresses that I have never seen before! McAfee says I don't have a virus. How do I fix that? Maureen Dear Maureen That virus was kick-started with a spammer's CD full of addresses, that were probbaly harvested from AOL and Yahoo, and from Internet petitions, and they are forged into the FROM field. Just make a MailWasher filter that looks for a FROM address of "MAILER-DAEMON", and for the action choose delete the message and do not show it in the list. Don't bounce that one. A bounce would just clutter up the Internet. To avoid loops, the mailer-daemon does not accept bounces back to it anyway and trashes them unread. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ "Look at ME!!" boasted the fit old man, pounding a very flat and firm stomach, having just finished 100 sit-ups before a group of young people. "Fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why?? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my *95th* birthday!!!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the onlookers, "How? With a bran muffin?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Start a Fire with Water By Donna Here is a fun Campers or Survival project. Collect some kindling and leaves, dried tiny branches and fire starting materials. Take a round empty bottle like Pom Drinks, you can use it as a magnifying glass to pinpoint a ray of sunlight onto your collected leaves and other fire starting materials to start a flame. Donna Keep in mind that many parks don't allow open fires anymore! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ > From Penny "A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East. Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured. Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments ask for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace. Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance Latin American countries are sending clothing. New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep. The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure. Canada is sending medical teams and supplies. President Donald Trump, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Muslims. God Bless Trump." ___________________________________________________
Funny Animals
____________________________________________________ >From Linda Man on phone: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We’re leaving from office & I’ll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!” The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said. The following weekend he came home a little tired but looking good… The wife welcomed him & asked if he caught many fish? He said “Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few Swordfish. But why didn’t u pack my blue silk pajamas?” You’ll love the answer..!! She says, “I did…..They’re in your tackle box” Game over. ____________________________________________________ Six year old Angie and her four year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church," she hissed at Joel. "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel shot back. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two big men in FBI suits standing by the door?" Joel nodded. "They're hushers." ____________________________________________________
How would you like to drive this bridge every day?

Today on July 25
0326 Emperor Constantine refused to carry out the
traditional pagan sacrifices. 

1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general
expulsion of Jews from France. 

1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.


1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in
Japan and ordered all Christians to leave. 

1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism to
Roman Catholicism. 

1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara
in Canada. 

1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at Aboukir,
Egypt. 

1805 Aaron Burr visited New Orleans with plans to establish
a new country, with New Orleans as the capital city. 

1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR. 

1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt. 

1861 The Crittenden Resolution, which called for the
American Civil War to be fought to preserve the Union and
not for slavery, was passed by the U.S. Congress. 

1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper. 

1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan. 

1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English
Channel in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover in
37 minutes. He was the first man to fly across the channel. 

1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian
sovereignty. 

1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians. 

1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese
assets. 

1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was
overthrown in a coup. 

1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in
the Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device.


1952 Puerto Rico became a self-governing commonwealth of the
U.S. 

1978 Louise Joy Brown, the first test-tube baby, was born in
Oldham, England. She had been conceived through in-vitro
fertilization. 

1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first
woman to walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space
station Salyut 7. 

1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that
had existed between them since 1948. 

1998 The USS Harry S. Truman was commissioned and put into
service by the U.S. Navy. 

1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only the
second American to win the race. 

2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000
internal reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan
from 2004-2010. 

2016  smiled.


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Spybot 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, July 21
Today I have to go to Calgary for injections
into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday,
Saturday or Sunday. Monday I'll be back.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Texas Waffle House Robber Armed with AK-47 is shot by customer armed witrh legal hand gun Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 21, in 1861 - The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The Confederates won the battle. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice. --- George Jackson (1941 - 1971) "There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it." --- Mary Wilson Little ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At the exclusive restaurant where I work, a party of diners was exhausting the waiter with relentless demands. Through it all, he remained professional. Finally, after leavin a very shabby tip, one of the patrons asked the waiter to take the group's picture, and ranted at reunion they can have because some of them are getting too old to leace their nursing homes. He did take 3 pictures, from their necks on down.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor, and he had been afraid she might step back and trip over the dog. ______________________________________________________ My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum. "I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was working, I found two copies of the same darn book. I had bought them a few years ago." ______________________________________________________ Delonix ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antoine Devon Cooper, 26, Dallas, Texas Texas Waffle House Robber Armed with AK-47 is shot by customer armed witrh legal hand gun A man armed with an AK-47 is alleged to have entered a Waffle House in DeSoto, Texas, in the early morning hours last Thursday. The robbery suspect was not counting on the presence of a Texan with a Handgun License to Carry. The alleged robber, described as a black man in his mid- twenties, entered the DeSoto Waffle House at about 2:30 a.m. on July 7, while armed with an AK-47 rifle, information obtained by Breitbart Texas from the DeSoto Police Department revealed. After robbing several of the customers, the man walked out of the diner. One of the customers followed the man out of the restaurant and attempted to stop him. The customer knew that his wife was on her way to the Waffle House and feared she might be in danger in the parking lot. He was afraid the armed man might harm her or others in the parking lot, officials said. After following the man out of the Waffle House, the customer called out to the robber who turned and pointed the rifle at him. The customer fired several shots from his handgun and stopped the robber. Police officers arrived on the scene a short time later and found the robber lying in the parking lot. He was transported to a local hospital where he remains in critical condition. Originally, the suspect had not yet been identified and police were asking for the public’s assistance in figuring out who the man is. Overnight, the police learned the man is 26-year-old Antoine Devon Cooper of Dallas, Sergeant Nic Bristow told Breitbart Texas Thursday morning. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lis RE: Spybot Dear Webby, You have mentioned Spybot a number of times. Where do I get it? Lis Dear Lis It is at https://www.safer-networking.org/dl/ or you can go to my tool box at http://webby.com/tools and scroll down to the big blue button marked Spypot Search & Destroy. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. Thursday is YOUR day to drive, you Bozo!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frosted Banana Bread Squares By Jackie H. Ingredients: 1-1/2 cup sugar 1 cup sour cream 3/4 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks), softened 2 jumbo eggs (I use only jumbo) 4-5 mashed ripened bananas 2 tsp vanilla 1 pkg (8oz) cream cheese, softened 2-1/2 cup all purpose flour 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp nutmeg 3/4 tsp salt 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (opt) Brown Butter Cream Cheese Frosting 1/2 cup butter 1 pkg (8oz) cream cheese, softened 4 cups powdered sugar 1-1/2 tsp vanilla 3 Tbsp milk (I use vanilla dairy creamer) Steps: Preheat oven 375 degrees F. Grease and flour a 15x10 inch jelly roll pan. In a large bowl, beat together sugar, sour cream, butter, and eggs until creamy. Add softened cream cheese & vanilla. Then fold in the bananas. In another bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, powder, salt & nutmeg and stir. Add the flour mix to the cream mixture. Add walnuts if you choose. Blend for 1 minute. Spread batter evenly into pan. Bake for 20 - 25 minutes or until golden brown. Meanwhile, for frosting, heat butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until boiling. Let the butter turn a delicate brown and remove from the heat. Add powdered sugar, vanilla, softened butter, softened cream cheese & creamer or milk. Whisk together until all is very smooth. Frosting will be thicker than a glaze but thinner than a frosting. Using a spatula, frost the bars while still slightly warm. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Re Govt bigshots parking in student parking lots: Don't they realize that: (I'm talking about middle school or college students here) It takes 8 students 4 seconds to grunt a car onto it's roof. 16 students can lift a car and jog with it. (stick half inch iron water pipe through under the car and use the protruding ends as comfortable carry-handles) It takes 6 students, a bit of grunting, 4 cement blocks, 4 speed-wrenches and 20 seconds to remove 4 wheels and two license plates. Two students with a tube of Crazy Glue can "ice" both door locks while they walk past them, without slowing down. Girls like smearing a big gobs of ketchup with rubber tarantulas in it under the door handles. Macho guys prefer to use fibre-gum, a slow drying and VERY sticky roofing gunk. Splat's of white acrylic paint mixed with Poly-Filla make very authentic looking pigeon droppings that are very difficult to remove. It takes one student 4 seconds to pry the top of a car door open wide enough for the muzzle of a water gun, and completely soak the driver's seat with skunk-oil. It takes a skinny student about a minute to connect a wire from the brake pedal sensor to the horn relay. A roof rack with a pile of empty boxes, a few paint rollers and water soluble paint, and a fake fox tail on the antenna, is all you need to make a car, that has been carried over 4 spots, totally unrecognizable to it's owner. 4 students can lift a corner of a car enough to kick a skate board under the wheel. Makes it easy to inconspicuously move a car. Be careful on sloped parking lots! A mangled old shopping cart wedged solidly under a car, which has been partially lifted by a few students, will generally get the driver into the bad books of any cop led to the scene. Old baby strollers from the dump work even better. And then there's always the old skunk in the trunk trick. Oh, the good old days! ___________________________________________________
Never trust a monkey/chimp - whatever
____________________________________________________ There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?" To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canarries and a 10 ton limit, so i have to keep half of them flying at all times." ____________________________________________________ A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office. ____________________________________________________
A fun and somehow soothing video to watch.

Today on July 21
1831 - Belgium became independent as Leopold I was
proclaimed King of the Belgians. 

1861 - The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began.
It was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The
Confederates won the battle. 

1925 - The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T.
Scopes was convicted and fined $100 for violating the state
prohibition on teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. The
conviction was later overturned on a legal technicality
because the judge had set the fine instead of the jury. 

1930 - The Veterans Administration of the United States was
established. 

1940 - Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the
Soviet Union. 

1944 - American forces landed on Guam during World War II. 

1949 - The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty. 

1954 - The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into North
Vietnam and South Vietnam. 

1959 - A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled
that "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book. 

1961 - Captain Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second
American to rocket into a sub-orbital pattern around the
Earth. He was flying on the Liberty Bell 7. 

1968 - Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a
million dollars in career earnings after he tied for second
place at the PGA Championship. 

1980 - Draft registration began in the United States for 19
and 20-year-old men. 

1997 - The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the United
States during the War of 1812, set sail under its own power
for the first time in 116 years. 

2000 - NBC announced that they had found nearly all of
Milton Berle's kinescopes. The filmed recordings of Berle's
early TV shows had been the subject of a $30 million lawsuit
filed by Berle the previous May. 

2002 - WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy
protection. At the time it was the largest bankruptcy in
U.S. history. 

2004 - White House officials were briefed on the September
11 commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded
that hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within
our government." The report was released to the public the
next day. 

2007 - The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series,
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released. 

2011 - Space Shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center
in Florida. It was the last flight of NASA's space shuttle
program. 

2016  smiled.


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How to carry data from home to office and back 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, July 20
Tomorrow I have to go to Calgary for injections
into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday,
Saturday or Sunday. Monday I'll be back.

Beautiful full moon out!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: 27 year old grandson beats his 78 year old grandfather with his own cane. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 20, in 1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas Jefferson at the White House. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essense of inhumanity. --- George Bernard Shaw ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests but one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way !" answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it! You go on home. I'll clean his table."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Tired of having to balance Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent some time trying to wrestle it into shape. The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!" Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?" "Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!" ______________________________________________________ Millie's kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told Moe that the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. Millie frantically swept through their daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with their daughter. That afternoon, the daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said, "Families are Forever." And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Charles J. Trione, 27, Caseyville, Illinois 27 year old grandson beats his 78 year old grandfather with his own cane. Police say a 78-year-old Caseyville man was beaten with his own cane, by his grandson, during an argument over who ate the last of the leftover pizza. St. Clair County prosecutors on Friday charged Charles J. Trione, 27, with aggravted battery and domestic battery. Caseyville Police Sgt. Gerard Spratt gave the following account: Police were called to the 300 block of Bethel Mine Road on the night of June 30 for a report of a domestic disturbance. “The disturbance was over who ate the last of the pizza in the refrigerator at the house,” Spratt said. He said Trione pushed his grandfather to the floor in the kitchen and then beat him with the grandfather’s cane. When police arrived, the suspect was gone. The 78-year-old had head injuries which were not life-threatening. Caseyville Police and St. Clair County sheriff’s deputies located Trione on Wednesday in Caseyville. The case was turned over to the state’s attorney’s office. Bail for Trione was set at $75,000, and he remained in custody as of Saturday at the St. Clair County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fanny RE: Carry data Dear Webby, I'm a teacher and will be at a different school this fall. At this school I get to ride the school bus, as long as I carry a big wooden spoon and keep the riots on the bus under control. I'm sure it won't be that bad, but they definitely advised that I don't carry my laptop along. I used the laptop mostly to carry the data between the school computer and my home machine. What would you recommend for carrying my preparations and homework between home and school ? Fanny Dear Fanny The most civilized way would be to get yourself a little web site, upload the day's data to there before you leave home, and download it into the school machine when you get there. All you "carry" is your password. Second best is to get an SD card and a reader. The reader just plugs into a USB port and makes the flash card another drive. Flash cards come from 2 to 128 GB They are small enough that you can sew a little pocket for one onto the inside of a regular belt. If you have a belt with little pockets for parking meter change, that will do just fine. The readers are between $9 and $20, depending on options. The $9 kind that I use works just fine. You can leave those attached to the computers and only take the little flash card along. With 2 GB you can easily fit a year's data onto it, and run your applications using the data right on the flash card. No need to copy it to the computer first. Of course, the first time you forget to take the memory card along you will wish you had gone with the option I mentioned first. Depending on how good YOUR memory is, you might find it easier to pay $2.50 a month for commercial grade web space. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert Teacher: "Have you ever hunted bear?" Little Johnny: "No, but I've gone fishing in my shorts." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Deodorant to Remove Underarm Stains By Jackie H. I bought a beautiful white sweater at a yard sale. The challenge though was the sweater had large yellow armpit stains. I got all sorts of advice, use OXI, use vinegar, use lemon juice, use baking soda; they all failed. Then someone said use what "caused the stain". Hmmmmm, deodorant. I used a stick of solid white deodorant and rubbed it thickly into both sides inside and out. Let it sit in cold water overnight. Washed as normal the next morning and Wha- La! Beautiful white sweater that looks like new! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sam came home to Anni and said "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," Anni said. "Yeah, I thought so too," Sam agreed. "You start Monday." ___________________________________________________
"What a Wonderful World" sung by Meryl Streep, Bette Midler, Olivia Newton John
____________________________________________________ While strutting through a parking lot in his fancy executive elevator shoes, Mr Benson's right foot slipped on an oily patch and after expertly tripping himself, he fell flat on his face. As he was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?" "No, I'm fine," he said, as he was trying to regain his composure and plan a way to exit without beeing seen by too many people. "Oh, good," she continued. "Will you be vacating your parking space any time soon?" ____________________________________________________ After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, Bob fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the morning. "It's twenty to seven," she called. "In who's favor?" ____________________________________________________
Follow the yellow brick road.

Today on July 20
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of
Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a
horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas
Jefferson at the White House. 

1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain. 

1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed
on all cigarette packs was passed. 

1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian
province. 

1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the
Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal
troops. (Montana) 

1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation. 

1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary
Corps, (WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa.

1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to
assassinate Adolf Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at
Hitler's Rastenburg headquarters. Hitler was only wounded. 

1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an
unprecedented fourth term of office at the Democratic
National Convention in Chicago. 

1961 "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" opened in London. 

1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E.
Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon. 

1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus. 

1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful
landing on Mars. 

1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of
comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely. 

1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins
and silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de
Atocha." The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key
West, FL. 

1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet
Revolution against communism, stepped down as president of
Czechoslovakia. 

1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International
Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.

2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began
wearing reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night
work.

2016  smiled.


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Which font is best? 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, July 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: PA Female teacher sleeps with five pupils Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 19, in 1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Communism is like one big phone company. --- Lenny Bruce (1923 - 1966) The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward. --- John Maynard Keynes (1883 - 1946) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phoney $18 bills would be in some small hick Southern town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. Ya'll want 2 nines, or 3 sixes?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish­washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my Bull Dog; he won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business. The Parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" ______________________________________________________ A friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancee called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told him, "Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!" ______________________________________________________ And some will be playing pokemon-go. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michelle Mellinger, 49, Keesport, Pennsylvania PA Female teacher sleeps with five pupils A 49-year-old special education teacher who told the children she abused, “I prefer younger people" has been jailed. Michelle Mellinger, who worked as a teaching assistant at McKeesport Area High School, Pennsylvania, pleaded guilty to five counts of having intercourse or sexual contact with students and one count of sexual assault. She has been sentenced to between 11-and-a-half and 23 months, after a court heard she texted one of her victims: “Wow, you look amazing. I just became a paedophile.” Mellinger also told one boy he was on her “bucket list” before she slept with him. She would send her pupils texts, before driving them to her home and having sex with them, the court heard. Mellinger abused five boys aged between 15 and 17, but was caught in October after colleagues at her school overheard students talking about having sex with her. Mellinger tried to have sex with a sixth boy, but the court heard he “took off running” when she started to undress. Judge Donna Jo McDaniel said Mellinger had been sustained in her pursuit of underage boys. According to press in Pennsylvania, the incidents occurred between June 2013 until February 2015. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bianca RE: Which font is best Dear Webby, We got this big argument going at work about which font is the best. What is your opinion? Bianca Dear Bianca Best for what ? For a casual announcement Dauphin is good. It is relaxed but very readable. For something romantic you can sacrifice readability to slow down the reader and make him or her spend more time on each word. Try Vivace BT, For business, use Trebuchet if you want to appear as a modern innovator, Zurich Ex BT if you want to appear as a trusted banker, Tunga or Tahoma for reliable business Arial for clarity and precision, Lucida Console is for a techy look and also for maximum readability on poor monitors or bad printers or faxes. For web sites I recommend Arial. It is the most readable and sharpest font that is available on the most machines. Tunga might be nicer, but you can't count on everybody having it on their computer. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a low grade on that test?" "Because of an absence," Johnny answered. "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" he questioned. Little Johnny replied, "No, but the kid who usually sits next to me was." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Deodorant to Remove Underarm Stains By Jackie H. I bought a beautiful white sweater at a yard sale. The challenge though was the sweater had large yellow armpit stains. I got all sorts of advice, use OXI, use vinegar, use lemon juice, use baking soda; they all failed. Then someone said use what "caused the stain". Hmmmmm, deodorant. I used a stick of solid white deodorant and rubbed it thickly into both sides inside and out. Let it sit in cold water overnight. Washed as normal the next morning and Wha- La! Beautiful white sweater that looks like new! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jim let his dog out to do his business late one night. He watched some TV and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead! "Bad dog! BAD DOG!" said the panicked man. He took the cat away and looked at it. He couldn't bring himself to tell his neighbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbor's porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt. It took him forever. He had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed its beautiful white fur as he blow-dried it and put its collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor's yard and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door. The next day, he saw his neighbor. "Hi," the neighbor said. "Hi," replied Jim, nervously. His neighbor said, "Something weird happened last night." "Oh yeah? What's that?" asked Jim, sweating now. "Well, my cat died yesterday, got run over by a truck. What a mess! We buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!" ___________________________________________________
Drunk Squirrel
____________________________________________________ Groan Alert: Ben Kenobi and Luke Flyswatter are having a Chinese supper. Ben picks up the chopsticks and starts eating. Luke is having problems, there is food over his face, his clothes, and the table, but not much in his mouth. "What should I do?" he asks Ben. "Use the forks, Luke!" ____________________________________________________ The preacher said: "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up." Nobody stood up. "Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up." One demure little man stood up. "Did you ever know an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat disbelieving. "I didn't know him personally," replied the little man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband." ____________________________________________________
Best of the week of PEOPLE ARE AWESOME!

Today on July 19
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau
League to fight against the Reformation. 

1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of
England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the
daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. 

1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market. 

1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic
translations into Greek, was found in Egypt. 

1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca
Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 

1870 France declared war on Prussia. 

1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use
fiberglass sutures. 

1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the
U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American anti-submarine
countermeasures. 

1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24
bombers attacked Rome for the first time. 

1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test. 

1971 In New York, the topping out ceremony for Two World
Trade Center (South Tower) took place. The ceremony for One
World Trade Center had taken place on December 23, 1970. 

1974 The House Judiciary Committee recommended that U.S.
President Richard Nixon should stand trial in the Senate for
any of the five impeachment charges against him. 

1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being
linked in orbit for two days. 

1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was
overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation Front
(Frente Sandinista de Liberación Nacional or FSLN). 

1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the
population had an income below the official poverty level in
1981. 

1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be the
first schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. She
died with six others when the Challenger exploded the
following year. 

2016  smiled.


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How to make symbols, that are not on the keyboard? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, July 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Tennessee woman steals the wallet of dead car crash victim. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 18, in 0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties. --- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
MALE OR FEMALE? SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs. TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-in- flated. SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out. PHOTOCOPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up again -- and only when the right buttons are pushed. HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. ______________________________________________________ While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brittney McCoy, 26, Greenbrier, Tennessee Woman steals the wallet of dead car crash victim. A Greenbrier woman is facing multiple charges after police said she stole a wallet from the body of a man who died in a wreck near her home last week and used his credit card to buy beer, cigarettes and other items at a nearby convenience store. Brittney McCoy, 26, is charged with theft, burglary, tampering with evidence and the fraudulent use of a credit card, according to a news release issued by Greenbrier Police on Friday. She was arrested Thursday, July 7 and booked into Robertson County Jail on $37,000 bond. McCoy was the first person to reach Ronald Lewis Clinard, 67, of Greenbrier, after he crashed his red Chevrolet pickup near Greenridge Apartments late last week, police said. She gave Clinard’s identification to responding officers when they arrived at the scene of the crash, Greenbrier Police Chief K.D. Smith said Friday. “She claimed she found it lying by a tree,” the chief said. “To my knowledge, she didn’t try to help the victim. Another gentleman, the second person on the scene, was the one who called for help. He tried to care for the gentleman in the car, hold his head up and help all he could until the paramedics got there.” Investigators believe McCoy took Clinard’s wallet before the other person arrived on the scene, while Clinard was incapacitated, police said. They also think others may have been involved and are continuing their investigation into that possibility, the Friday release noted. A pistol is also missing from the crash scene, and investigators are looking into that as well, Smith said. He added that he's never seen anything like what happened last week during his 30-year career in law enforcement. “She (McCoy) actually left the scene, purchased a soft drink with the victim’s card, brought [that drink] back to the scene and gave it to the victim’s daughter, who was on the scene,” the chief said. “I’ve never seen anything this devastating. She had a total disregard for the deceased individual and his family.” Greenbrier Police were tipped off to McCoy’s actions by members of Clinard’s family, Smith said. When the wallet was not found at the scene, the family called Clinard’s bank and they were informed about McCoy’s purchases, the chief said. Once investigators were notified, they obtained surveillance video of McCoy making the purchases, Smith said. “We spoke to her, interviewed her, and she showed no sign of any kind of remorse,” the chief said. Clinard was driving north on Highway 41 near Greenridge Apartments at about 3 p.m. on July 1 when his truck crossed two lanes of traffic, struck a grass embankment and went airborne before it came to rest in a section of trees along the road, police said in a prior interview. He was declared dead at the scene. Authorities are not sure what caused the wreck, and the investigation into the circumstances surrounding it are continuing. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brigit RE: Copyright Symbol Dear Webby, How do you make the copyright symbol that you put on some of your pictures? I am trying to write a neat little copyright notice like that onto a bunch of pictures, but pasting it does not look good. Thanks Brigit Dear Brigit Go into your graphics program, even Windows PAINT, and If you have a regular keyboard, not just a phone or a laptop, then simply hold down the ALT key and type 0169 on the numeric keypad. © Open a picture, select the text tool, select the text color, make the Copyright symbol, type your name and the date, adjust the text size, if necessary, hit Enter to paste that text, move it to the precise spot where you want it, right- click to nail it and it is done. If you don't have a regular keyboard, get ExtraKeys It gives you a small on-screen keyboard with all the extra keys. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Peanut Butter Roll Candy By Charlene S. My grandmother always did the recipe with 1 medium potato, 1 stick of butter (room temp.), pinch of salt, 1 tsp. vanilla & add powder sugar till forms dough. Roll out on powdered sugar sprinkled board covered with wax paper. Spread with peanut butter (add coconut & chopped nuts if you want) & roll tightly. Makes 2-3 rolls. Refrigerate & slice into pieces. Nothing new to add for the recipe.. just a FYI Use cotton string to cut logs into slices. This prevents breakage or misshapen pieces. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A PSYCHOLOGIST is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A PROFESSOR is one who talks in someone else's sleep. ___________________________________________________
Power in unity
____________________________________________________ Her husband had passed on and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. "Is there anything he needs ?" the distraught woman asked, between tears. The spiritualist went into a transient state, then replied, "He says he'd love a carton or two of cigarettes." "I'll send some cartons immediately." the woman said joyfully. "But did he say where I should send them ?" "No." replied the Seer somberly, and added with an evil grin: "But he didn't ask for matches." "Oh GREAT!" exclaimed the woman."Then he is either with Zeus and the eternal olympic flame, or with Thor, the god of thunder and lighning!" ____________________________________________________ A big-game photographer went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. He picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the husband. "Those old lions are pretty tough. He'll be OK." ____________________________________________________
Building sized murals by the ETAM Cru.

Today on July 18
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. 

1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England.


1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to
back the French Revolution. 

1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace
with Russia and Sweden. 

1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution. 

1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing
for secret election ballots. 

1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation
division called the Signal Corps. 

1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St.
Lawrence Seaway. 

1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to
fight to the last man against the invading Italian army. 

1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of
General Body Company’s factory in Chicago, IL. 

1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco
led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North
Africa. 

1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to
fly in combat, made its first flight. 

1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the
battle of the hedgerows. 

1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war
minister due to setbacks suffered by his country in World
War II. 

1947 U.S. President Truman signed the Presidential
Succession Act, which placed the Speaker of the House and
the Senate President Pro Tempore next in the line of
succession after the vice president. 

1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull
their troops out of Vietnam. 

2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore
train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days and
virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several days.

2016  smiled.


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Copyright and other symbols 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, July 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Man arrested after vomiting in restaurant's drive-thru Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 17, in 1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ >From Barb Getting older, as we do, and doing things as we get older. I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. As I passed through the kitchen, I happened to look out through the rear windows. I noticed a diaper-headed Muslim with a knife, sneaking through my next door neighbor's yard. Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it. Astonished, I got back into bed. My wife said, "You're upset, what is it?" "You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said. "That son of a bitch next door still has my shovel." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is a very delightful classic: A synagogue had just opened for business while at the same time a Catholic church opened across the street. After some time the Rabbi noticed that a convent had been added to the church, More time later a Catholic school was built, then a gymnasium. Concerned the Rabbi called together his staff and expressed his concern, "We've been here the same amount of time as our neighbors and look, they've grown while we still have our same small temple - what are we doing wrong?" And so it was decided, they'd send Morris to attend a service on Sunday and check out what was going on over there. Sunday comes and all the men from the congregation are peeking thru the windows as Morris enters the church. Not 15 minutes later and Morris comes flying across the street, yelling and waving his arms. "So what happened?" says the Rabbi "Oy, you wouldn't believe it" says Morris "I go into the church, I sit down, then from the left a guy in a dress comes out unto the stage and he's chanting "I can play dominoes better than you can - I can play dominoes better than you can", then from the right of the stage some young boys swinging incense followed by another guy in a dress starts chanting "I bet you don't - I bet you don't" then back and forth they go "I can play dominoes better than you can - -I bet you don't", then from outta' the back four men in black suits come down the aisles and pick up the bets !!!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bob moved into an apartment and went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater." ______________________________________________________ On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Oh wow!" thought the doctor, "My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the instrument, "Wowcome to McDonald's. Do you want fwies wif that?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Anthony Frieko, 32, Clermont, Florida Man arrested after vomiting in restaurant's drive-thru A man reportedly threw up at a fast food restaurant late Wednesday night — but not because of the food. David Anthony Frieko, 32, of Clermont, was charged with DUI and resisting arrest after an employee at a Burger King in Clermont called police to report a driver in the drive-thru line had vomited in a vehicle, according to an arrest affidavit. The man also paid $35 for an $8 order. Police said when they responded to the State Road 50 restaurant at about 11:40 p.m., they found Frieko in the driver seat with his head down, his eyes bloodshot and glassy and his vehicle running. Officers say they smelled alcohol. They had to pull Frieko out of the vehicle after he refused to exit, and he was unsteady on his feet. Frieko reportedly refused sobriety tests and was arrested. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brigit RE: Copyright Symbol Dear Webby, How do you make the copyright symbol that you put on some of your pictures? I am trying to write a neat little copyright notice like that onto a bunch of pictures, but pasting it does not look good. Thanks Brigit Dear Brigit Go into your graphics program, even Windows PAINT, and If you have a regular keyboard, not just a phone or a laptop, then simply hold down the ALT key and type 0169 on the numeric keypad. © Open a picture, select the text tool, select the text color, make the Copyright symbol, type your name and the date, adjust the text size, if necessary, hit Enter to paste that text, move it to the precise spot where you want it, right- click to nail it and it is done. If you don't have a regular keyboard, get ExtraKeys It gives you a small on-screen keyboard with all the extra keys. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they went to their tent and soon went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "Okay, what does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a moment. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tension Rods for Drying Laundry By sharon6345 My mom taught me this awesome tip. I bought two tension rods and put them in the shower. I wash my clothes and just hang them in the shower. It's easy and if you're hand washing it's time saving. You could skip pulling out the hanging rack. You don't even need to iron when they dry. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Nine year old Little Johnny, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission, to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge so that the cops could not follow them, and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked, scornfully. "Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it." ___________________________________________________
Power in unity
____________________________________________________ I saw in the paper the other day that in effect, by paying taxes, the average American works over six months a year for the Government. Most Government employees though don't seem to work six months a year for the government. ____________________________________________________ A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him. Yet the feeling persisted. When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried, "Daddy, where's Mommy?" ____________________________________________________
People are strange, seems like they always have been.

Today on July 17
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. 

1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which
ended the 100 Years' War. 

1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain. 

1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at
Rochefort, France. 

1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 

1862 National cemeteries were authorized by the U.S.
government. 

1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the
Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709. 

1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took
Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 

1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name. 

1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin
Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives
for an office building that could house 40,000 War
Department employees on his desk by the following Monday
morning. The building became known as the Pentagon. 

1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the
Nationalist army on the Yangtze River. 

1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a
Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over the
Soviet Union. 

1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North
Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes. 

1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft in
orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and Soviet
Union. 

1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and fled
to Miami in exile. (Florida) 

1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took
place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection from
more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts in excess of
$4 billion. 

1987 Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North and rear Admiral John
Poindexter begin testifying to Congress at the "Iran-Contra"
hearings. 

1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last
400 stores. 

1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the genome
(genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium. 

2008 In China, construction of the Shanghai World Financial
Center was completed. 

2016  smiled.


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Windows Explorer format 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, July 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Uber driver bitten and attacked by knife-wielding passenger in St. Petersburg Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 15, in 2009 In Chicago, Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower. Sears left after Arabs theatened to destroy it like the World Trade center because they claim Sears to be owned by Jews. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. --- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. --- Colette (1873 - 1954) A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately for them, they don't have a J.O.B. --- "Fats" Domino ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?". One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury". But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm". God himself obviously favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast". Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills". Joshua also rode a Triumph but seems to have had a bad muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land". And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord".
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under ... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Shakey. Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Nobody under there now!" ______________________________________________________ Two guys were out walking their dogs, when one dog wanders off to pee against the wall. Like dogs do, it raised it's leg and started to do his thing. The second dog then goes up and starts to go exactly where the other dog did. But instead of raising his leg, he stood up on his hind legs, put both paws on the wall and relieved himself. One guy says to the other, "Wow, how did you teach him that?" The second man replies, "I didn't teach him. He's done it ever since a fence, that he was trying to dig under, fell on him when he tried to mark it as HIS !" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from Sweden: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Maya Madry, 22, St Petersburg, Florida Uber driver bitten and attacked by knife-wielding passenger in St. Petersburg While picking up a passenger, an Uber driver was bitten and his car was damaged - all without leaving the pick-up location. Maya Madry was arrested this week by the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office for a June incident involving an Uber driver. Apparently they waited for rabies reports. The driver was dispatched to her St. Petersburg home on June 24 at 10:42 a.m. Madry and the driver ended up in a "verbal dispute," according to an arrest affidavit. The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office says the Uber driver was called to the residence to pick up Madry. When he got there, Madry was not ready to go, so he left. Shortly after she called him and asked him to come back, he did. He told her to not request an Uber unless she is ready. That's when she got angry with him and there was an argument. The driver asked Madry to leave his vehicle, but before she stepped out, she grabbed, scratched, and bit his arm. She exited the vehicle and hit the driver's window with a 10-inch long kitchen knife and stabbed a tire. She flattened that tire and attempted to flatten the other three but was unsuccessful. The victim's injuries were treated. Madry left the scene after the incident. Police arrested her on Sunday, July 10. She was charged with aggravated assault, simple battery and criminal mischief. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen RE: Windows Explorer list Dear Webby, can you tell me how to stop lists in Windows Explorer from coming up with large icons? Every time I go to Explorer I have to tell it to view the directory in a "List". Would LOVE to put a stop to that! Thanks for you help again! Helen Dear Helen here is what I do: First I customize a view to my liking, (I set it to show details) then I click on TOOLS FolderOptions Classic in it's own window Double-click VIEW check and uncheck things to my liking check Remember each folder's view settings Thenclick on the big button that says: APPLY TO ALL FOLDERS then hit OK. Close Explorer, and open it again. However, some bug in Windows still makes it occasionally forget that and you have to set it like that again. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A young man was serving for the first time as usher at a large and fashionable church and his self-consciousness amounted to a bad case of stage fright. As a result of his nervousness some mistakes were made. Among others, a wealthy old lady marched down the aisle unaccompanied and seated herself inadvertently one row in front of her usual position. The perspiring young usher tiptoed up to her and whispered hoarsely, "Mardon me, padam, you are occupewing the wrong pie. May I sew you to another sheet?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Aloe Vera Juice Hey, I just got this from another website. Thought you'd like it! · Cut off 8-10cm from a leaf, then slice the cutting lengthwise. · Scoop out the gel found in the centre, taking great care not to pick up any of the yellowish layer next to the outer skin which is bitter and has powerful laxative effects. · Whisk one to 2 teaspoons of the fresh gel into 1 cup of fresh cold water or vegetable juice and take daily or several times a week for intestinal health. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will probably be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present, But you may now kiss the bride. ___________________________________________________
evil April Fools Day pranks
____________________________________________________ An office reports that they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words. Early one Monday when the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages, she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, "My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N." ____________________________________________________ 1st man: "I woke up this morning and felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking a thousand aspirin." 2nd man: "Oh really, what happened?" 1st man: "After the first two, I felt better." ____________________________________________________
Come travel to some beautiful islands with me.

Today on July 16
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of
Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their six-year war. 

1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne captured
Stony Point, NY. 

1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, was
established as the permanent seat of the United States
Government. 

1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed to
ratify the constitution. 

1875 The new French constitution was finalized. 

1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo. 

1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared in
"National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had been taken
near the Florida Keys. 

1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. to
install parking meters. 

1940 Adolf Hitler ordered the preparations to begin on the
invasion of England, known as Operation Sea Lion. 

1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and held
them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part of an
agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. Germany had
agreed to not deport French Jews if France arrested foreign
Jews. 

1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their drive
toward Germany. 

1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb in a
test at Alamogordo, NM. 

1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. They
watched the Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup soccer
finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 

1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was
first published. 

1957 Marine Major John Glenn set a transcontinental speed
record when he flew a jet from California to New York in 3
hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds. 

1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began
the first manned mission to land on the moon. 

1973 Alexander P. Butterfield informed the Senate committee
investigating the Watergate affair of the existence of
recorded tapes. 

1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing
Hasan al-Bakr to resign. 

1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of
Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan. 

2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood
Prince" was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter
series. The book sold 6.9 million copies on its first day of
release. 

2009 In Chicago, Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower. Sears
left after Arabs theatened to destroy it like the World
Trade center because they claim Sears to be owned by Jews.

2016  smiled.


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Incorrect fonts in Gmail 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, July 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support 
for the troops!


Thank you, Elizabeth!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: MA Bonehead tried to rob bank, left empty handed and hit a police car while trying to get away. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 15, in 1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. --- Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields. --- Peter Borden ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Leonardo's Pizza in Akron, Ohio narrowly escaped being robbed because the gunman slipped on a patch of grease from a pizza that had been dropped on the floor earlier. He hit the floor and knocked himself unconscious. The armed robber is planning to sue Leonardo's Pizza.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One caller to an answering service gave me his name, number and message and then said, "You know my name. What's yours?" "We're not allowed to give our names," the rep replied, "but my operator number is 4136" Sounding disappointed, the caller said, "May I call you by your first digit, or would that be too personal?" -------------------------------- Personally, when they act like that I ask them for the name of their competitor. ______________________________________________________ This is the absolute funniest spam I have received in a long time: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Important notice We have just charged your credit card for money laundry service in amount of $234.65 (because you are either child pronography webmaster or deal with dirty money, which require us to layndry them and then send to your checking account). If you feel this transaction was made by our mistake, please press "No". If you confirm this transaction, please press "Yes" and fill in the form below. Enter your name here: Enter your credit card number here: Enter your credit card expiration date: Enter the number from the back: Yes No Contacts: Phone: +5982 902 5627 Fax: +5982 902 3114 E-mail: support@fethard.biz ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I do NOT recommend calling those numbers. They are in zone 5, South/Latin America and most likely similar to our 1 9xx numbers, but at $25 and up per minute. The whole thing is so silly that it probably falls half way between "Moron-Tax" and making fun of the scammers who ask you to send them your Paypal and credit card info. ______________________________________________________ Johnston Canyon ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sean P. Smith 43, Idaho Falls, Idaho Transgender woman arrested for videotaping 18-year-old in Target fitting room A transgender woman accused of videotaping an 18-year-old in a Target fitting room admitted to detectives that she had made videos in the past of women undressing, according to court documents obtained by EastIdahoNews.com. Shauna Smith, a transgender woman, is being charged as Sean Smith with one felony count of video voyeurism after the alleged incident Monday. An affidavit of probable cause states the 18-year-old woman was trying on swimwear at the Target on 25th East when someone in an adjacent fitting room held an iPhone over the top of the barrier and began taking photos or video recording. “The victim’s mother confronted the suspect, who immediately fled on foot. Both the victim and victim’s mother described the suspect as a white male who was wearing a dress and a blonde wig. A witness observed the suspect get into a vehicle and leave the area,” court documents state. Bonneville County detectives learned the vehicle was registered to Smith. When an investigator arrived at Smith’s home, documents state “the defendant’s roommate told (the investigator) her roommate is a transgender male who identifies as a female, Shauna Smith.” The detective showed the roommate surveillance still photos of the suspect from Target and the roommate identified the suspect’s clothing as that of Smith’s, according to documents. Deputies interviewed Smith and “the defendant eventually admitted to me that she had made videos in the past of women undressing. The defendant told (the detective) that she makes these videos for the ‘same reason men go online to look at pornography,'” documents state. According to the affidavit, Smith told the detective “she finds the video sexually gratifying” and when the deputy looked at the camera roll on Smith’s iPhone, he “observed a video of a young adult female undressing in a changing room at what appear to be Target. The defendant admitted to me that this video was recorded at Target.” Smith is scheduled to be arraigned this afternoon in Bonneville County and was booked as a male into the Bonneville County Jail on a $30,000 bond. The Target boycott petition, launched by the American Family Association, currently has over 1.3 million signatures. The AFA petition puts Target's policies in stark terms, noting that they allow a man to "simply say he 'feels like a woman today' and enter the women's restroom...even if young girls or women are already in there." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cay RE: Wacky font in Gmail Dear Webby, I hate to be a pest, but for several weeks, the print in the newsletter I receive has reverted to "typewriter" font instead of the usual. this seems to happen two or three times a year. Can it be fixed? Be safe and healthy, Cay, Dear Cay That seems to be a setting in your Gmail. I subscribed with a gmail address so that I can check how it looks on Gmail. It COULD be that your computer is low on available RAM. Run CrapCleaner and see if that helps. If it doesn't, mess around with the settings in your Gmail. You can always browse top http://webby.com and see what I sent out to you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A couple were in line at a theme park when they noticed two teenagers in front of them, passionately hugging and kissing. They didn't even come up for air when the line moved. As they waited, their displays of affection became more and more embarrassing. Finally a park employee approached them and said, "Hey, you two! This is a place to BRING your families, not CAUSE them." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organic Coconut Oil Chocolates Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 24 or more Ingredients: 1 cup organic virgin coconut oil 1/2 cup organic cacao powder 1/4 cup pure maple syrup Steps: Place all ingredients in a stand mixer and blend until smooth (stopping a couple times to scrape down the sides). Using a tablespoon, measure chocolate mixture and drop on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Freeze for 1-2 hours. Remove and enjoy. Keep these chocolates in an air-tight container in your freezer. Option: add a couple drops of mint extract to give these chocolates a minty flavor. It is really important that the ingredients of the maple syrup are JUST maple syrup, and no Corn Syrup or modified corn syrup, unless you need to fatten up. You can soak a small handful of raisins in a bit of brandy or rum, and add them after drip-drying them a minute. They not only enhance the flavor but add an occasional surprising texture treat. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two little girls are looking at a book of fairy tales. "Who's that on the cover?" asks the younger of the two. "That's Cinderella." replied her friend. "It's a nice story with a happy ending." "But why is she crying?" the first asked. "She doesn't look so happy to me." "Because her wicked step-Mother won't let her go to the mall." answered the second. ___________________________________________________
baby trains "Rocky" style
____________________________________________________ Gillian Shephard, a Member of Parliament, paid a visit to Norwich jail to inspect the place and after her tour of the prison, she was shown to her chauffeur driven car by the Governor, whereupon it was discovered that the chauffeur had inadvertently left the keys in the car and he was unable to open the doors. There was much embarrassment until the Governor of Norwich jail came up with a splendid idea. "We have plenty inside here who are doing time for car burglary; shall I get one?" Gillian nodded her assent. Enter Justin, doing a few years for such crimes, and he was invited to display his skills to the advantage of Mrs. Shephard in order to save her any further embarrassment. With that, Justin picked up a large stone and hurled it at the window of the limousine, shattering it in a million pieces. Surrounding press and camera men had to hide behind trees and other cover to conceal their mirth. By way of explanation he later said that all he was ever after was the property inside the vehicles. ____________________________________________________ One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the to the class of five-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was." An Irish boy raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sean, that's not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either." Finally, a Jewish boy, Aaron, raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Aaron. Come up here, and I'll give you your $2." As the teacher was giving Aaron his money, she said, "You know, Aaron, you being Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." "I know, Miss," Aaron replied, "in my heart I know it was Moses, but business is business." ____________________________________________________
I love babies and dogs!

Today on July 15
1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders. 

1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights
at Tannenburg, Prussia. 

1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live
without the authority of the government. 

1806 Lieutenant Zebulon Pike began his western expedition
from Fort Belle Fountaine, near St. Louis, MO. 

1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the
Allies in Prague to discuss peace terms. 

1885 In New York, the Niagara Reservation State Park
opened. 

1888 "Printers’ Ink" was first sold. 

1895 Ex-prime minister of Bulgaria, Stephen Stambulov, was
murdered by Macedonian rebels. 

1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike. 

1904 The first Buddhist temple in the U.S. was established
in Los Angeles, CA. 

1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was
incorporated by William Boeing. The company was later
renamed Boeing Co. 

1918 The Second Battle of the Marne began during World War
I. 

1922 The duck-billed platypus arrived in America, direct
from Australia. It was exhibited at the Bronx Zoo in New
York City. 

1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the
'Hump' was carried to help China's war effort. 

1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon,
to protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew
October 25, 1958. 

1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-
up pictures of the planet Mars. 

1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the
U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet,
landed at Kennedy International Airport in New York. 

1971 U.S. President Nixon announced he would visit the
People's Republic of China to seek a "normalization of
relations." 

1972 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft became the first to
enter the asteroid belt. 

1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law. 

2006 The social networking service Twitter was launched. 

2009 "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" was released
in theaters in the U.S. It was the sixth movie in the
series. 

2011 "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" was
released in theaters in the U.S. and U.K. It was the final
film in the Harry Potter series. 

2016  smiled.


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Scroll Lock key 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, July 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: MA Bonehead tried to rob bank, left empty handed and hit a police car while trying to get away. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 14, in 1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Some people die at 25 but aren't buried until they are 70. -- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Anita came running up to her husband in the driveway just jumping for joy. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" He said, "Great, tell me what you're so happy about!" "I'm pregnant!" He was ecstatic! They had been trying for a while; he grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!" Then she said, "Oh, honey, there's more!" "What do you mean, 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!!!!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and bought the twin pack home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A golfer went to see his doctor. He was suffering from major stress syndrome. The doctor asked him if he played golf, to which the golfer replied "I play at it, it's a very frustrating game, but I love it." The doctor told him that the next time he played, he should use an imaginary ball. The golfer was a little embarrassed, but he decided to give it a try. So he went out on a week day so his normal golfing buddies wouldn't see him, and proceeded to tee up an imaginary ball. Lo and behold, he birdied the first hole! He was playing the best game he had ever played, with birdie or eagle on every hole, as he approached the 9th green. Another single gentleman had been playing ahead of him and watching this game with much curiosity. The second golfer waited before he teed off on the 10th hole and asked the first golfer if he would like to join him. They did, and as they played the 10th hole, the second golfer asked him what he was doing. The first golfer explained that his doctor had told him to play a round of golf with an imaginary ball to relieve his stress, and it was working. Well, of course, the second golfer said he had stress and asked if it would be all right to play with an imaginary ball, also. The first golfer said "Sure!" They now approach the 18th hole, short par 4, and both men are tied to this point in their round. The second golfer teed his imaginary ball, took a stroke, and started jumping up and down shouting, "Ace! I win!" The first golfer only turned to him, smiled, and said "No, I won. That was my ball you aced." ______________________________________________________ A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact, I've discovered I can throw them at least 20 yards farther than I could my last ones." ______________________________________________________ Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by MA Bonehead tried to rob bank, left empty handed and hit a police car while trying to get away. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Prince Conteh, 26, Lowell, Massachusetts Police say he had a shotgun, but fled empty-handed A would-be robber fled a Long Island bank empty-handed Saturday morning and was captured after crashing his getaway car into a police vehicle, authorities said. Prince Conteh, 26, of Lowell, Massachusetts, entered a Bank of America in Hempstead at about 11:50 a.m. and demanded cash from a woman employee, Nassau County detectives said. He was armed with a shotgun, they said. The employee refused to allow Conteh to enter the teller area, so he left the bank empty-handed, police said. While making his getaway, Conteh crashed his car into a Hempstead patrol car. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Conteh hopped out of car, dropped his shotgun and ran, but officers caught him with help from people in the vicinity. The officer whose patrol car was struck was taken to a local hospital and treated for neck and back pain, police said. Conteh was charged with first-degree attempted robbery, second-degree assault and criminal use of a firearm. Hit & Run might be added later. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dean RE: Scroll Lock key Dear Webby, What is the Scroll Lock key for ? The IT tech here said it was an obsolete legacy key from the old days of DOS. Somehow I think it would have been dumped to save money if it was really obsolete. What is the real truth about it? Dean Dear Dean The Scroll Lock key is far from obsolete, however only people who work on spreadsheets, word processing documents, databases and graphics use it. If you are in a spreadsheet and want to scroll the sheet instead of the highlight of a cell, hit ScrollLock and use the arrow keys. The same trick works in word processors and databases and some graphics programs. Sure, you could do the same by taking a hand away from the keyboard and mousing around for a while. However, most professionals want to get work done as fast as possible and try to keep their hands on the keyboard. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart By attosa [218 Posts, 509 Comments] This is one of my favourite savoury tarts to make. It's much like a quiche. You can add whatever vegetables you have on hand. The cheese is also optional. My father hates cheese so his cheese-free version is pictured here, too. You can also use a use store bought pie crust. Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 6-8 servings Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup flour 1 stick butter, cold 2 Tbsp milk 10 oz mushrooms, sliced 1 medium onion, sliced 1/2 head broccoli 4 slices red pepper 2 eggs 1/4 cup milk 6 oz cheese 1 Tbsp flour salt and pepper to taste Steps: Chop your cold stick of butter into small pieces and mix with flour. Use utensils or your fingers to crumble into a sand-like texture. Slowly drizzle in the two tablespoons of milk. Press this mixture into a ball shape, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside in your refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. Fry your onions, mushroom and broccoli in a pan on medium until lightly browned. Remove pan from heat. Sprinkle flour all over this mixture. Immediately add your milk and mix well. Let cool. Beat eggs and mix into veggie mixture. Preheat oven to 375 F. Remove dough ball from refrigerator and roll with a rolling pin. Press into an 8 or 9 inch pie dish. Prick the bottom of the pie crust with a fork several times. Bake for 10-12 minutes, until lightly golden on edges. Pour the veggie/flour/milk/egg mixture into your half baked crust. Top with cheese and pepper slices. Bake in oven at 375 F for 22-25 minutes. Let cool. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Someday I guess I'm just gonna get arrested, but I can't resist off-the-wall humor when people least expect it. I went into the department store and was greeted by a pretty salesgirl with a slightly foreign accent, who said, "Good ahvternoon sir, vat is it you desire?" Naturally I grinned and winked with an eyebrow. She defintiely was not slow and instantly blushed. So I told her that she was even more beautiful when she blushed. That didn't go over too well and she threw the phone at me, or would have if it hadn't had a line on it. Probably the one she was standing on. That line tore the phone out of her hand in mid swing, and bounced it against the front of her strapless tube-top. The tightly stretched tube top gave way and various top secret foam wedges and shims flew out and all over the counter top. That made her fly into a total rage, and instead of re- loading her tube top, she started throwing anything within her reach at me, including those foam items. It was quite a show! Eventually she realized that she was rather exposed and tried to pull up her tube top. That is when she found out the hard way that a size D tube does not stay put on a size B girl unless there is some help from foam wedges and shims, but that those had bounced off my head and were mixing it up with the rubber duckies in the fountain behind me. So she shrieked and ran away, holding up her now rather lose tube-top with both hands. Luckily for me another store employee close by had watched the whole episode and came over. ___________________________________________________
25,000 dominoes
____________________________________________________ One day, when I was still living way out of town, the engine on my truck decided to die and I had to hitch-hike into town to get some parts. There was not much traffic in those days, but as luck would have it, a cute blonde lady came along and stopped for me. It turned out that she was a bush-bunny and just as bushed as I was. After a few miles and smiles we sat pretty close and it became increasingly difficult to tell who was actually driving the truck. Above the town the "Old Highway" splits off. The "Old Highway" wasn't used much for driving any more, mostly for "parking". She pulled in there and parked. The cab of the truck was definitely too crowded, and the loading bed of the truck was not very inviting in the starting rain. However, there is lots of room under a 4x4 pick-up truck. Some time later somebody rudely kicked my leg and asked: "Just what in heck do you think you are doing here?" My vision was quite obscured because I was on the bottom, but I recognize a police boot. So I told him: "I'm just working on her clutch." The cop chuckled and told me: "Might as well work on her parking brake too.... Her truck is inside the church at the bottom of the hill." ____________________________________________________ When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents' private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were waiting in a doctors office a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits!" ____________________________________________________
I've always wanted to visit England and even more so now after these gorgeous photos!

Today on July 14
1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip
Augustus. 

1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May,
was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 

1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of
Belgrade. 

1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons,
which aligned them against Spain. 

1789 French Revolution began with Parisians stormed the
Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 

1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made
it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or
malicious statements about the U.S. government. 

1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 

1891 The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld
in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S.
Electric Lighting Company. 

1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the
rebelling Boxers. 

1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the
White House to accept an award from U.S. President William
Taft. 

1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 

1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party were
outlawed. 

1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt,
from bases in Crete. 

1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in
Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French Foreign
Legion. 

1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the
Japanese home islands for the first time. 

1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of Baby and
Child Care" was first published. 

1951 The first sports event to be shown in color, on CBS-TV,
was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ. 

1951 The George Washington Carver National Monument in
Joplin, MO, became the first national park to honor an
African American. 

1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 

1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and
sent back photographs of the planet. 

1967 Eddie Mathews (Houston Astros) hit his 500th career
home run. 

1968 Hank Aaron (Atlanta Braves) hit his 500th career home
run. 

1981 The All-Star Game was postponed because of a 33-day-old
baseball players strike. The game was held on August 9. 

1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion
over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 

2001 Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics. It was the first
time that the China had been awarded the games. 

2003 Jerry Springer officially filed papers to run for the
U.S. Senate from Ohio. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications
downloaded. 

2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree
tower. 

2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications
downloaded. 

2015 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft became the first space
mission to explore Pluto. 

2016  smiled.


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Downloading W10 without installing 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, July 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Nevada Road rage Hit and Run flasher caught on cellphone video and arrested Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 13, in 1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims in Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." --- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them. --- Paul Valery ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because hiscellmate looked like a real thug. "Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too." "Well, that's a relief," sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading." "Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests and a shrink."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $4,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." ______________________________________________________ Groan Alert One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all: hawk, lion, and stinker. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Early Volvo ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Road rage Hit and Run flasher caught on cellphone video and arrested Gina DeMarco, 34, Las Vegas, Nevada The woman caught flashing another motorist and his family on cellphone video following a car accident is now behind bars. On Wednesday, the Nevada Highway Patrol (NHP) arrested 34-year-old Gina DeMarco. The woman's face is one the entire community has become familiar with. On the News 3 Facebook page, her irate moment has been viewed more than 30,000 times. DeMarco surrendered to police Wednesday afternoon and News 3 cameras were there as she was taken away. The arrest comes six days after the bizarre road rage incident was caught on camera by Adrian Rodriguez. "She was going crazy," said Rodriguez. Two minutes later, she was gone, caught speeding away on camera. "Clearly, this is outrageous behavior and it has no place on our roadways," said Trooper Jason Buratczuk with the Nevada Highway Patrol. Buratczuk said the DeMarco could be facing hit-and-run and indecent exposure charges. And that's not all. As it turns out, she could be in even more legal trouble. "We found out that there may be something going on, beyond just a regular hit-and-run crash. It looks like maybe some fraud or identity theft may be involved. Investigators are still looking into that," said Buratczuk. For now, the woman behind this now-viral video is behind bars and getting ready to face a judge. "If she would've just stayed on scene, and waited for NHP to get there, she would've had an unsafe lane change ticket and been on her way, and now because of her actions, here we are today," said Buratczuk. Gina DeMarco was booked into the Clark County Detention Center and faces five charges. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donny RE: Download W10 without installing it Dear Webby, Thanks for your newsletter - don't miss a day! Do you know if there is a way to 'download' the free Windows 10 to a disc without actually installing it ? Thanks for all your previous "tips"" - have used a lot of them! Thanks again, Donny Dear Donny Why would you want to download W10 to a disk? The installation requires you to be online anyway. Don't worry about the "free" gimmick. It's not YOU who needs W10. Microsoft and their Chinese computer factories need you to install W10 to increase their profits. Simply hang tough until you buy a new computer. It will be strong enough to handle W10, and it will have W10 factory installed BEFORE it leaves China. There is a major update to W10 scheduled for August, similar to XP-SP1. Don't do anything until that update has been out for half a year and the bugs in it fixed. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Connie Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you'll find a hairstylist you like. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart By attosa [218 Posts, 509 Comments] This is one of my favourite savoury tarts to make. It's much like a quiche. You can add whatever vegetables you have on hand. The cheese is also optional. My father hates cheese so his cheese-free version is pictured here, too. You can also use a use store bought pie crust. Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 6-8 servings Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup flour 1 stick butter, cold 2 Tbsp milk 10 oz mushrooms, sliced 1 medium onion, sliced 1/2 head broccoli 4 slices red pepper 2 eggs 1/4 cup milk 6 oz cheese 1 Tbsp flour salt and pepper to taste Steps: Chop your cold stick of butter into small pieces and mix with flour. Use utensils or your fingers to crumble into a sand-like texture. Slowly drizzle in the two tablespoons of milk. Press this mixture into a ball shape, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside in your refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. Fry your onions, mushroom and broccoli in a pan on medium until lightly browned. Remove pan from heat. Sprinkle flour all over this mixture. Immediately add your milk and mix well. Let cool. Beat eggs and mix into veggie mixture. Preheat oven to 375 F. Remove dough ball from refrigerator and roll with a rolling pin. Press into an 8 or 9 inch pie dish. Prick the bottom of the pie crust with a fork several times. Bake for 10-12 minutes, until lightly golden on edges. Pour the veggie/flour/milk/egg mixture into your half baked crust. Top with cheese and pepper slices. Bake in oven at 375 F for 22-25 minutes. Let cool. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Gramma Liz went to her first show at an art gallery and was looking at the paintings. One was a huge canvas that was black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting was a murky gray color with drips of purple paint streaked across it. Gramma Liz walked over to the artist and said, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," the artist explained. Gramma Liz looked at the paintings again, then just before stalking off said to him: "If you can't learn to cook, at least eat your pizza before it turns green!" ___________________________________________________
Bach in the woods
____________________________________________________ Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.The speeder looks at the owner sheepishly and says, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to put that 18 year old mangy mutt out of his misery." ____________________________________________________ A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "Very little peer pressure." ____________________________________________________
People who are awesome at doing sports tricks.

Today on July 13
1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims
in Jerusalem. 

1534 The Ottoman armies captured Tabriz in northwestern
Persia. 

1558 Led by the court of Egmont, the Spanish army defeated
the French at Gravelines, France. 

1585 A group of 108 English colonists, led by Sir Richard
Grenville, reached Roanoke Island, NC. 

1643 In England, the Roundheads, led by Sir William Waller,
were defeated by royalist troops under Lord Wilmot in the
Battle of Roundway Down. 

1754 At the beginning of the French and Indian War, George
Washington surrendered the small, circular Fort Necessity in
southwestern Pennsylvania to the French. 

1787 The U.S. Congress, under the Articles of Confederation,
enacted the Northwest Ordinance, which established the rules
for governing the Northwest Territory, for admitting new
states to the Union and limiting the expansion of slavery. 

1812 The first pawnbroking ordinance was passed in New York
City. 

1832 Henry Schoolcraft discovered the source of the
Mississippi River in Minnesota. 

1836 John Ruggles received patent #1 from the U.S. Patent
Office for a traction wheel used in locomotive steam
engines. All 9,957 previous patents were not numbered. 

1863 Opponents of the Civil War draft began three days of
rioting in New York City, which resulted in more than 1,000
casualties. 

1875 David Brown patented the first cash-carrier system. 

1878 The Congress of Berlin divided the Balkans among
European powers. 

1931 A major German financial institution, Danabank, failed.
This led to the closing of all banks in Germany until August
5. 

1941 Britain and the Soviet Union signed a mutual aid pact,
that provided the means for Britain to send war material to
the Soviet Union. 

1954 In Geneva, the United States, Great Britain and France
reached an accord on Indochina which divided Vietnam into
two countries, North and South, along the 17th parallel. 

1972 Carroll Rosenbloom (owner of the Baltimore Colts) and
Robert Irsay (owner of the Los Angeles Rams) traded teams. 

1978 Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Co. by
chairman Henry Ford II. 

1984 In Arkansas, Terry Wallis was injured in a car accident
and was left comatose. He came out of the coma in June of
2003. 

1998 "Image of an Assassination" went on sale. The video
documentary is of Abraham Zapruder's home video of U.S.
President Kennedy's assassination in Dallas. 

1998 RealNetworks Inc. rolled out a test version of
RealSystem G2. G2 is a streaming video and audio delivery
system. 

2000 The United States and Vietnam signed a major trade
agreement. The pact still needed to be approved by the U.S.
Congress. 

2000 Sprint Corp. and WorldCom canceled their planned merger
due to opposition by regulators in the United States and
Europe.

2016  smiled.


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Transferring Eudora Attachments and Embedded folders to new machine 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, July 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: N.J. man repeatedly paid PA woman for sex with 2 juvenile girls. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 12, in N.J. man paid PA woman for sex with 2 juvenile girls. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. --- Daniel J. Boorstin (1914 - ) "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both." --- Barr It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. --- Harry S Truman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ For their 20th anniversary Sue and her husband vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water, everyone got back on the boat, except for Sue and one handsome young man. As she continued her underwater exploring, she noticed that everywhere she swam, he swam. She snorkeled for another 40 minutes. So did he. Sue felt very flattered and, as she took off her fins, she asked him coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long. "I'm the lifeguard," he replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A little boy went to dinner with his parents at the home of an elderly gentleman. After watching the old man bow his head and speak in a soft voice, the boy asked his mother, "Why did he mumble and cuss to his plate?" ______________________________________________________ When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by N.J. man repeatedly paid PA woman for sex with 2 juvenile girls. Esperanza Mani-Cortez, 44, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Alfredo Rosales, 51, Englewood, New Jersy A Bergen County man has been charged with paying a Philadelphia woman to arrange sexual encounters with two juvenile girls on multiple occasions since 2010, authorities said Monday. Alfredo Rosales, 51, of Englewood, and Esperanza Mani- Cortez, 44, of Philadelphia, face multiple sexual assault and child endangerment charges, acting Bergen County Prosecutor Gurbir S. Grewal said. Rosales was engaging in sexual activity with a 14-year-old girl and had been sexually assaulting another girl, 12, since 2010, authorities said. Englewood police received information Friday that Rosales was with the 14-year-old girl, authorities said. Officials said the juveniles were made available to Rosales through Mani-Cortez, who "received financial compensation" in exchange. Rosales and Mani-Cortez were arrested Saturday and each charged with three counts of aggravated sexual assault, two counts of sexual assault by sexual contact, one count of aggravated criminal sexual contact and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child, the prosecutor's office said. Judge Gregg Padovano set Rosales's bail at $500,000 and Mani-Cortez's at $300,000. Both were ordered to have no contact with the victims and must surrender their passports as conditions of bail, the prosecutor's office said. The two remain at the Bergen County Jail and are scheduled to make their first appearances in court Tuesday. Rosales and Mani-Cortez were arrested following an investigation by the prosecutor's office Special Victims Unit and Englewood police. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jim RE: Embedded and Attachments folders in Eudora Dear Webby, Another question I have, forgot on the first email. With my PC, the attachments and embedded images are all saved in a folder. Does the same thing hold true on my laptop? I haven't found any yet. Again, Many thanks. j Dear Jim Yes, inside the Eudora folder there is a folder called Attachments and one called Embedded. You might have specified different ones. You can do that with Eudora. Hopefully you made folders for those inside the Eudora folder, and specified those in the Eudora setup. If not, look in the setup on the old machine what you had specified, hopefully not deep down some wacky Windoze tree branch, copy them to the new machine INTO the Eudora folder, and specify those in TOOLS, OPTIONS on the new machine. It's a good system that has served me well for a long time. You CAN, if you want, make an Attachments folder where your graphics program is, and then set that as the default receiver for attachments. Your choice. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ SUNDAY SCHOOL IN NEBRASKA There was a Sunday school in Nebraska with thriteen children between the ages 4 to 5 yrs old. When the Sunday school teacher asked everyone to raise their hand if they wanted to go to heaven. Twelve of the chidren raised their hand, all except for four year old Johnny. When the Sunday school teacher asked: "Johnny, don't you want to go to Heaven?" Johnny looked around at everyone and replied: Not if this bunch is going." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg-Free Cookie Cake Flag By attosa [217 Posts, 506 Comments] This cookie cake is not only extremely delicious but also pretty nutritious and super easy to make! It's so good, it's hard to believe there are no eggs or oils involved. If you swap out the yogurt for soy yogurt, it becomes completely vegan. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 12 Ingredients: 1 cup vanilla yogurt (use soy for vegan cookie cake) 1/2 cup peanut butter (I prefer chunky for texture) 1 cup brown sugar 1 tsp baking soda 2 cups flour 8 oz chocolate chips Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a bowl, combine yogurt, peanut butter and brown sugar. Mix until well combined. Add the baking soda and flour. Mix until combined. Batter will be thick. Fold in the chocolate chips. Pat the mixture into a pie dish. Bake for 25-30 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ My sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise. The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream. As they continued home, my sister blurted out, "Isn't it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this much money?" Just then, she went to toss the last of her ice cream cone out the window. However, they were just passing a big truck and a gust of turbulence blew it back in and stuck it to her nose. Her husband looked at her and calmly replied, "Yes, it IS amazing!" ___________________________________________________
Bach in the woods
____________________________________________________ A cashier In the grocery store held up a small dairy carton and yelled to an older co-worker, "How much is half-and- half?" Without a moment's hesitation and in a very patient voice, the other cashier replied, "One." ____________________________________________________ A Bonehead Award goes to all those people who made it necessary for the manufacturer of a baby stroller to include the following warning with their product: "Remove child before folding." ____________________________________________________
I hope these untouched places stay untouched by mankind.

Today on July 12
1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia,
Bulgaria. There they met their Byzantine escort, which
brought them safely the rest of the way to Constantinople.
by August 1. 

1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last
wife, Catherine Parr. 

1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated
the Roman Catholic army of James II. 

1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French
armies at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 

1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution
providing for the election of priests and bishops. 

1806 The Confederation of the Rhine was established in
Germany. 

1862 The U.S. Congress authorized the Medal of Honor. 

1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle
where Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the
outskirts of Washington, DC. 

1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was
patented by William W. Lyman. 

1912 The first foreign-made film to premiere in America,
"Queen Elizabeth", was shown. 

1933 A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established in
the U.S. 

1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the
first time. 

1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" was heard on ABC radio
for the first time. 

1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower proposed a
highway modernization program, with costs to be shared by
federal and state governments. 

1957 The U.S. surgeon general, Leroy E. Burney, reported
that there was a direct link between smoking and lung
cancer. 

1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch®. 

1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office
records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales
in the first 31 days of its opening. 

1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs
rolled off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 

1984 Democratic presidential candidate Walter F. Mondale
named U.S. Rep. Geraldine A. Ferraro of New York to be his
running mate. Ferraro was the first woman to run for vice
president on a major party ticket. 

1990 Russian republic president Boris N. Yeltsin announced
his resignation from the the Soviet Communist Party. 

1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals
between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 

1999 Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of
its Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com. 

2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays.
The module was built to be the living quarters for the
International Space Station (ISS.) 

2000 The movie "X-Men" premiered in New York.

2016  smiled.


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How reliable is rental car booking over the web? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, July 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Florida mom arrested for leaving child at Bridge of Lions seawall Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 10, in 1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." --- Benjamin Franklin "Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams." --- Mary Kelly ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Malaysian monkey that had been trained to gather coconuts from trees demonstrated a pressing need for a refresher course when it leapt onto the shoulders of a passer-by in Kuala Lumpur and tried to twist his head off. The man was treated at a local hospital for a sprained neck. [He should consider himself lucky that the monkey wasn't trained to retrieve walnuts!]
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny said: "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!" ______________________________________________________ An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mom arrested for leaving child at Bridge of Lions Jennifer Belk, 26, Keystone Heights, Florida A mother is accused of abandoning her child in historic St. Augustine on the Fourth of July. The St. Augustine Police Department said they received complaints Monday about Jennifer Belk, 26, of Keystone Heights. Deputies found her walking along the Bridge of Lions, where she admitted to leaving her child near the seawall. When asked why, Belk told deputies, "It's legal for me to kill him when he is inside me, but not when he is out?" The child was found by officers, and wasn't injured, authorities said. The Florida Department of Children and Families was notified and took custody of the child. Belk was arrested and charged with child neglect. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa RE: How reliable is rental car booking over the web? Dear Webby, how reliable is it to reserve a rental car over the web ? You probably travel a lot. Which chain would you recommend? And what tips have you got? Alexa Dear Alexa I have not travelled in the last few years. Reserving a car over the net is probably THE most reliable way to do it. You get all the papers in email and can print them out long before you ever pack your stuff. I have tried all the big chains at one time or another, but the company that I am the happy with is National. At large locations like Las Vegas book something small and cheap. Booking over the web gives you an automatic free upgrade to the next class. Then, when you go pick it out, they tell you to pick whatever you want, that is freshly washed and cleaned. Keep in mind, though, bigger vehicles are more comfortable, but use more fuel. Don't jump too many classes up! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Three guys, a Newfie, a Quebecker and a New Yorker had shore leave from their jobs on a tanker. They were walking along the dunes a mile from the beach. As it happens so often in this type of joke, they came across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," said the Genie. The New Yorker said: "I want to have the biggest @#$% tanker in the world and I want it right @#$%& here!" With a blink of the Genie's eye and an ear shattering boom, a half mile long tanker landed stuck in the sand dunes in front of him. Seems the Genie was not impressed by the profanity. Next the Quebecker spoke up: "I love my home, La Belle Provence Quebec, but it is being ruined by tourists who don't even speak French. I want a wall all around it that is impenetrable to tourists." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Quebec, so tall that they can see it from where they are on the shores of Newfoundland. The Newfie then asked: "I'm very curious. Please tell me about this wall !" The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 100 feet thick and completely surrounds the Quebec; no person can get in or out---virtually impenetrable." "Hmm, well, in that case, fill up the space within them thar walls with Screech, and have a tap for Newfies right here." (Screech is Newfie Moonshine, a VERY alcoholic liquid that tastes like a combination of bitter rum barrel drippings and JP4.) ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Tree Sap From Hair Believe it or not, peanut butter will do the job! I used to use it on my kids' hands when they got pitch on them - it is non-toxic and it really does work. (12/27/2006) By Chris My little girl had sap in her hair yesterday. I was able to remove it by rubbing olive oil (less than a teaspoon) on the sapped area until it dissolved the sap (a quite interesting smell; like a tree salad), and then shampoo her hair at bath time. (06/08/2007) By Jose When I was logging or cutting firewood I used to carry some OFF in the warm season or WD40 the rest of the year. They soften the sap in half a minute, so that it can be wiped onto the pocket rag or the jeans. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms.Walters approached one of the women and said, "This is marvelous. Can you tell the world just what enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" The Kuwaiti woman frowned and replied: "Land mines." ___________________________________________________
we could learn something here!
____________________________________________________ Groan Alert: A lot of money is tainted. It aint yours and it aint mine. ____________________________________________________ A boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, the father replied, "Oh, probably less than half of them." ____________________________________________________
32 people having a worse day than you.

Today on July 11
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman
Emperor in Germany. 

1533 Henry VIII, who divorced his wife and became head of
the church of England, was excommunicated from the Catholic
Church by Pope Clement VII. 

1708 The French were defeated at Oudenarde, Malplaquet, in
the Netherlands by the Duke of Marlborough and Eugene of
Savoy. 

1742 A papal decree was issued condemning the disciplining
actions of the Jesuits in China. 

1786 Morocco agreed to stop attacking American ships in the
Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000. They got the
money,
but continued attacking merchant ships.

1798 The U.S. Marine Corps was formally re-established by
"An Act for Establishing a Marine Corps" passed by the U.S.
Congress. The act also created the U.S. Marine Band. The
Marines were first commissioned by the Continental Congress
on November 10, 1775. 

1804 The United States' first secretary of the treasury,
Alexander Hamilton, was killed by Vice President Aaron Burr
in a duel. 

1864 In the U.S., Confederate forces led by Gen. Jubal
Early began an invasion of Washington, DC. They turned back
the next day. 

1934 U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the
first American chief executive to travel through the Panama
Canal while in office. 

1955 The U.S. Air Force Academy was dedicated in Colorado
at Lowry Air Base. 

1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent
through the Telstar I satellite. 

1972 U.S. forces broke the 95-day siege at An Loc in
Vietnam. 

1979 The abandoned U.S. space station Skylab returned to
Earth. It burned up in the atmosphere and showered debris
over the Indian Ocean and Australia. 

1985 Dr. H. Harlan Stone announced that he had used zippers
for stitches on 28 patients. The zippers were used when he
thought he may have to re-operate. 

1995 Full diplomatic relations were established between the
United States and Vietnam. 

1999 A U.S. Air Force jet flew over the Antarctic and
dropped off emergency medical supplies for Dr. Jerri Nelson
after she had discovered a lump in her breast. Nelso was
at
the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Research Center . 

2000 The video "Jaws," the Anniversary Collector's Edition,
was released. 

2000 Liam Neeson broke his pelvis after hitting a deer with
his Harley Davidson motorcycle. 

2008 Apple released the iPhone 3G.

2016  smiled.


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Spam pretending to be from me 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, July 10

Thank you, Claude!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Attempted Murder-By-Hanging In Parleys Canyon interrupted by firefighters Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 10, in 1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was sold by Spain. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose. --- Heda Bejar A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to payoff with your money. --- G. Gordon Liddy The Carbon Tax scheme is just a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --- D.W. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A fine funeral was ordered for a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of the cat and dog with her explosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor's benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder. "Well," commented her husband, "sounds like she got told where to go."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A classic: A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action. The man then proceeded to look directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson." ______________________________________________________ TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence. MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail. TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT: One dollar. TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic. VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? Max: VERY big hands! ______________________________________________________ NM rocks From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Attempted Murder-By-Hanging In Parleys Canyon interrupted by firefighters Juan Echeveste Alba, 22, Salt Lake City, Utah A weekend dispatch call that sent firefighters up Parleys Canyon in search of a phantom fire may have saved a woman from murder by hanging. Four Unified Fire Authority firefighters could not find the reported smoke on Friday, so picked a random exit off Interstate 80 to turn their vehicle around. They exited at milepost 131, and noticed a car “awkwardly positioned,” and blocking the road, according to Utah Highway Patrol Sgt. Randy Riches. The firefighters reported that they noticed a man and woman nearby, and saw the man was pulling on a rope around the woman’s neck, as if to hang her. The other end of the rope was strung up and over a metal pipe, and the woman was crying and pulling at the rope as it constricted her neck. The man reportedly saw the firefighters, and forced the woman into his car. The firefighters rushed the vehicle and restrained the man until Utah Highway Patrol troopers arrived and made an arrest. Juan Echeveste Alba, 22, of Salt Lake City, was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder and aggravated kidnapping. The woman told officer that Echeveste-Alba has tried to hurt her in the past, and once tried to strangle her, cutting off her air supply to the point that she said she saw white dots. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mike RE: Spam pretending to be from me Dear Webby, Does this mean someone has got my passwords?? Or is it a new type of spam? It appears to be from me to me? Mike Dear Mike yes, just spam. They paste your address into the FROM slot just as easy as they paste it into the TO slot. Since most of your Senators act like they have been bought by spammers, don't expect things to get better until vigilantes take the law into their own hands and burn a few dozen spammers at the stake. Luckily for you, that particular flavor of spam can be filtered easily. Just make a filter in your MailWasher to delete and hide mail from you to you. DON'T bounce it back though! That would create a loop and plug up your mail box for good. Just set it to delete it automatically, unseen. If you are in the habit of sending memos to yourself, start putting some wacky symbols at the start of your subject line, when you do that, for example ~~ Then you can use that in the filter IF the FROM contains mike@home.com IF the SUBJECT Does-Not-Contain ~~~ THEN delete, Automatically without showing in the list Once you have made that filter in MailWasher MailWasher you will never see that type of spam again. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The computer swallowed grandma Yes, honestly it's true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online.' So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the computer. They are the greatest!!! -------------- And some GreatGrammas too! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Drink Tap Water Instead of Bottled Water By Caseye [34 Posts, 209 Comments] Conserving water is critical to all of us. While it may seem as if we have an endless supply of water, we don't. Check out the important, and very interesting, information on the Internet about how much water is consumed, where, and how much is wasted. One of best tips is to buy a stainless steel jug and fill it with ice and tap water and refill the jug whenever you want. This is very economical, too. For every 1 gallon of bottled water you drink, it costs $10.00 (way more than a gallon of gas!) But, for every 1 gallon of tap water you drink, it only costs 1 cent! Drinking tap water not only saves you money, it also helps to save the environment from plastic bottles that should be recycled but aren't. Most end up in landfills or waterways. By caseye from Plano, TX You can usually get your tap or well water tested free at any hospital. Check your local requirements. Some places require two bottles, some have a nominal charge. By the way, store bought ice is often not safe for consumption. Just take used water bottles, fill them with tap or well water, and toss them into a camp cooler filled with ice. Have FUN! DearaWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The police recently busted a man selling ' secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for commiting this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983. ___________________________________________________
Baby does CPR
____________________________________________________ "Make me one with everything," the Buddhist monk said to the hot-dog vendor who was hawking food near the temple. The vendor made a frank with mustard, ketchup, relish, and onions. The monk took it and handed over a twenty-dollar bill. The vendor stashed the cash in his apron and turned his attention to the next customer. "But where's my change?" the monk inquired. "Change must come from within, my friend," said the vendor. ____________________________________________________ This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote Scripture. So she holds up a hand and says: "ACTS 2:38!!!" The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: "How did you do this?" The woman replied, "I quoted Scripture." The cop turned to the burglar: "What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?" The burglar replied: "Scripture! What scripture? She said she had an axe and two 38's." ____________________________________________________
Tree house living in a rain forest.

Today on July 10
1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under 
 the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria.

1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal
colony.

1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in 
 New York City.

1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI
declared war on England.

1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory
was sold by Spain.

1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil.

1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at
an altitude of one mile.

1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 
 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA.

1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion
pictures.

1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the
world.

1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War
II.

1949 The first practical rectangular television was
presented. The picture tube measured 16 by 12 and sold for
$12.

1951 Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict
began 

1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second
time in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight
crown.

1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea 
 after heavy fighting.

1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. 
 The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between 
 Europe and the U.S.

1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after 
 three centuries of British colonial rule.

1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, 
 it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced 
 that they would continue to sell "New" Coke.

1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against 
 South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward
 racial equality.

1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal
skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended
from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago.

2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the
Innocents" sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's.

2016  smiled.


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New domain accessibility 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, July 9

Thank you, Claude!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Ohio day dare employee admits she raped four children while working at the center on orders of her convicted sex offender fiance. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 9, in 1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. --- James Thurber ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale. "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date." "So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor. "Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving a test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?" ______________________________________________________ A young boy was kneeling by his bed and saying his prayers and asked God to make him a good boy. The boy's father, passing by the bedroom, overheard his son praying, "And make me a good boy, if You can. And if You can't, don't worry about it, 'cause I'm having a lot of fun being a brat anyway." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from Sweden: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ohio day dare employee admits she raped four children while working at the center on orders of her convicted sex offender fiance. Heather Koon, 27, Eyria, Ohio James Osborne, 37 in jail A former day care employee has admitted to raping four children while at work to obey the orders of her fiance, a convicted sex offender. Heather Koon, 27, pleaded guilty to four counts of rape Thursday in Elyria, Ohio, according to the Chronicle- Telegram. Her fiance James Osborne, 37, who is currently serving an eight-year prison sentence on previous child pornography charges, also pleaded guilty in this case. Koon raped four children while working at the ABC Kidz Child Care center in Elyria in March and April 2013. Police arrested Koon in September 2013 at her home in Elyria, where Osborne lived while on probation on an earlier child pornography case. He pleaded guilty in 2010 to having sexually explicit photos of children on a computer he took to a repair shop in 2007, the Chronicle-Telegram reported. Officers seized a phone and a laptop at Koon's home in 2013 and on the phone found footage and pictures of her abusing children at the day care center. Osborne told her what he wanted her to do to the children using his own phone, prosecutors have said. Koon worked at ABC Kidz Child Care in Elyria for seven months until March 2013 and later took a position at Country Day School in Amherst. She is accused of raping four children at ABC Kidz Child Care and taking explicit photos of children in both locations, the Chronicle-Telegram wrote. Koon pleaded guilty Thursday to four counts of rape, kidnapping and pandering obscenity involving a minor. She also admitted to three counts of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material, one count of tampering with evidence and one count of engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity. Meanwhile Osborne, who is serving an eight-year prison sentence in the earlier child pornography case, pleaded guilty to four counts of complicity to rape, complicity to kidnapping and pandering obscenity involving a minor. He also admitted to engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity, failure to register as a sex offender and three counts of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material. Koon abused six children in the case, according to prosecutors. Her attorney said Thursday Koon felt 'compelled' to abuse the children but had 'a lot of remorse' for what she did. The mother of a girl who was three years old when Koon took explicit pictures of her said: 'She doesn't trust adults at all.' A father, whose daughter was two when Koon abused her, told the Chronicle-Telegram: 'Hopefully they get nothing less than life. 'I never realized creatures like this exist.' Koon and Osborne face 15 years to life in prison, and could be sentenced to life without parole if a judge finds them to be sexually violent predators, which in Ohio means people who have committed a sexually violent offense and are deemed likely to commit more offenses in the future. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna RE: New domain accessibility Dear Webby, From work I could get to the new domain that I ordered from you in less than two hours after I ordered it last week. From home I still can't get to it. At work we have DSL, at home I only have dial-up. Does it really take that much longer to resolve on dial-up ? Donna Dear Donna Dial-up has nothing to do with that. If you had DSL from the same ISP that you use for dial-up, you would not get to your new domain either. The difference is the different ISPs. Obviously your company selected a good one for the office, and apparently you selected a different one for your home connection. Some ISP's update their DNS, the Internet road map, three or four times per hour, some do it once a day, some do it once a week, and some, like Apathico, do it whenever they see a customer with a rolling pin or baseball bat. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert ! A man went to see his eye doctor, who told him he had a case of myopera and would have to wear contract lenses. That's a lot better than his friend, who had had a cadillac removed. Still, when he worked at his computer, he would have to watch out for harbor tunnel syndrome. He worried that his authoritis of the joints might be a signal of Old Timer's disease and fretted that a genital heart defect was causing trouble with his duodemon. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedies for a Stuffy Nose You need either a neti pot or saline drops, both will help. You can get both at Walmart. By anna My mother taught me this when I was little and had a very stuffy nose: Just take a cloth and wet it with hot or warm water. The hotter the better! Then just hold it up to your nose and breathe in deeply. You should start to feel you nose "un-stuffing". This will not work all day. You may have to repeat this 2-6 times per day. (05/22/2007) By Megan ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Fifty-one years ago Herman James, a West Virginia Mountain man was drafted by the Army. On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On his third day the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army still has him listed as AWOL (Absent Without Official Leave-permission). ___________________________________________________
singing baby
____________________________________________________ Trisha came running into the house after summer school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science." ____________________________________________________ A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied. The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the muffler. ____________________________________________________
This hand face art is so weird.

Today on July 9
0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the
city.

0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became 
 Emperor of the West.

1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage
 to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled.

1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II
granted Bohemia freedom of worship.

1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian
fleet at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea.

1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel
Parker.

1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain.

1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel.

1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas

 Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone
Company.

1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe.

1943 American and British forces made an amphibious landing
on Sicily.

1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to 
 Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced.

1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end 
 the state of war between the United States and Germany.

1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility
of the Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units.

1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined 
 $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander
Holyfield.

2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a 
 large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China.

2016  smiled.


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Trotux browser hijacker 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, July 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Mother in Daytona Beach attack swung baby 'like a bat'. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 8, in 1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) --- Broom Hilda The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it. --- Patrick Young "Everyone wants to save the earth. Nobody wants to help mom with the dishes" --- P.J. O'Rourke ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. (Whack) "What did you do that for?" the man asks. "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?" The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does! By the way, I don't think you should try that with her. She's the county wrestling champion." ______________________________________________________ A man buys a parrot from a pet shop. The parrot is highly intelligent but all he ever does is swear. Day and night the parrot shouts out obscene words and phrases until one day the man decides to teach him a lesson. He is standing in the kitchen with the parrot, constantly swearing, seated on his shoulder. The man tells the parrot that if he doesn`t stop swearing he is going to open the door of his freezer and throw him in. The parrot laughs and tells him that he wouldn`t dare. The parrot ignores the threat and sure enough, the man opens his freezer, grabs the bird by its neck, throws him inside and slams it shut. The bird bangs constantly on the door asking to be let out and promises never to swear again. After about 5 minutes the man agrees to give the bird 1 more chance and places him back on his shoulder. After a few minutes the parrot has warmed up again and asks the man, "What did the chicken do?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mother in Daytona Beach attack swung baby 'like a bat'. Tatyana Allen, 18, Orlando, Florida An Orlando woman accused of swinging her 6-month-old boy like a bat to strike her boyfriend had been arguing with him because he refused to walk with her to the bathroom, Volusia County Beach Safety Ocean Rescue officials said. Daytona Beach police were earlier called to the disturbance on the boardwalk west of the 300 block of Atlantic Avenue before the beach incident, beach officials said. Tatyana Allen, 18, was charged with battery and infliction of physical/mental injury on a child. She was being held Tuesday on $30,000 bail at the Volusia County Branch Jail, records show. According to a report from Beach Safety Ocean Rescue, a large crowd had gathered by the ambulance where the small boy was being treated. Witnesses told beach investigators that they saw Allen walk up to her boyfriend, the baby's father, and punch him several times in the face. Allen then grabbed her baby as a weapon and swung him "like a bat" at her boyfriend, the report states. Allen dropped the baby facedown in the sand and the boyfriend picked up the baby, the report states. "She just beat her like 3-month-old baby, if that, against her boyfriend and threw him in the sand facedown," a caller told a 9-1-1 dispatcher. "The baby was screaming. It was facedown in the sand, it can't hold its head up." The caller said Allen smacked the baby, which was covered in sand. "She is going freaking insane," the caller said on the 9-1- 1 call. Witnesses said "Allen was extremely rough with the baby," investigating officers wrote in their report. As Allen walked up the steps to the boardwalk, the baby's head also struck a railing, the report states. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa RE: Trotux Dear Webby, Thanks Webby....I might try that for her at the weekend when i visit her..if no luck she will be getting her win 7 back! She said she upgraded because she wanted to get it while it was still free, until the end of the month I think Now I have a problem myself..I have somehow managed to get Trotux on my computer and have no luck in removing it so far..can you help? Please :-) Thank you Alexa Dear Alexa I am not going to take credit for how to remove the Trotux hijacker. It is already posted at http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/virus-removal/remove- trotux.com-browser-hijacker Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to the Folks from Erie for this one: WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely And so does my lawn. I think I might never Put my glasses back on. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedies for a Stuffy Nose You need either a neti pot or saline drops, both will help. You can get both at Walmart. By anna My mother taught me this when I was little and had a very stuffy nose: Just take a cloth and wet it with hot or warm water. The hotter the better! Then just hold it up to your nose and breathe in deeply. You should start to feel you nose "un-stuffing". This will not work all day. You may have to repeat this 2-6 times per day. (05/22/2007) By Megan ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Parents work hard to give their children a better life than they had . . . then complain about how easy the kids have it. ___________________________________________________
thinking outside the box
____________________________________________________ A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ____________________________________________________ Joe was hospitalized for a few days, and his wife reported that his dog really missed him. "She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an example of true love," he replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," his wife answered, as she grabbed the rolling pin, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door." ____________________________________________________
Magnificent doors from around the world.

Today on July 8

1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around 
 Jerusalem.

1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established
by Samuel de Champlain.

1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to 
 Rhode Island.

1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized.

1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in 
 the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended.

1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as 
 their disputes in the New World intensified.

1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium.

1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of 
 Napoleon.

1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun.

1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from 
 San Francisco, CA.

1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured 
 chocolate syrup onto ice cream in a dish. To that time 
 chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream
sodas.

1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last 
 championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75
rounds.

1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief
of United Nations forces in Korea.

1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage.
He was shot down in a U-2 spy plane.

1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were
frozen. 

1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered
airplane to cross the English Channel.

1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria 
 despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war
crimes.

1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic
to join the alliance in 1999.

2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight 
 by a solar powered plane.

2016  smiled.


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Computer body fix 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, July 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Bartender claims she was kidnapped in order to hide her affair from her husband. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 7, in 1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) --- Broom Hilda ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Harry sent a quick email to his supervisor. "Boss," he wrote, "My mother-in-law is doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow, and wants me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Harry," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off." After Harry printed his reply, he wrote back to him: "Thanks, boss, I knew I could count on you!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Ed told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just a lazy old fart." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the latin term so I can tell my wife." ______________________________________________________ A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So, what did you do with the money?" ______________________________________________________ European Roller ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bartender claims she was kidnapped in order to hide her affair from her husband. Karla Vasquez, 32, Miami, Florida "Miami STRIP CLUB THOT Is Arrested For FAKING HER KIDNAPPING So Her Husband Wouldn’t Catch Her CHEATING!" A Miami strip club "bartender" was arrested yesterday. Officials say that she faked her own kidnapping so her husband wouldn’t know she was out with another man. The 32 year old Karla Vasquez allegedly tricked her husband, Daniel Pacheco, into thinking she was kidnapped. Officials say that Karla called Daniel, and told him that she was kidnapped in her car. Daniel panicked and immediately called the cops. But police say that Karla was just a LYING THOT. Cops used the GPS systems in Vasquez’s car and phone to track her down. Vasquez was spotted around 3 p.m. driving the car she claimed she was kidnapped in. Vasquez told police that she actually never went home after work, and instead went to a bar where she met the other man and “decided to spend the night with him,” according to the report. When officers found out Vasquez’s story was a lie, they arrested her for falsely reporting an alleged crime. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jannie RE: Computer body fix Dear Webby, I bought a program that fixes 'the brain' but not the 'body' of my computer. I had a warning of a crash a couple hours ago. What program is best AND lowest price to deal with this? Thanks. Jannie Dear Jannie Write to support of that secret mystery program that supposedly fixes the brain but then takes it's ass out of gear. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That wasn't supposed to happen until you unloaded them at home!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flowering Plants May be Weeds By Judy Pariser S. [108 Posts, 108 Comments] This plant with pretty purple flowers popped up in my garden this year, and I never planted it. When I went to the garden center, I found out it is called purple loosestrife, and is very invasive. The person I spoke to said to be very wary when things you didn't plant pop up in your garden! By likekinds [153 Posts, 762 Comments] I just read that, indeed, this plant is highly invasive. The plant spreads to new areas by means of seed dispersal. One plant can produce as many as 2 million seeds per year. You might want to Keep all blooms picked before they set seed. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An older couple had a son, who was still living at home. They were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table, then they hid in the nearby closet, pretending they were not at home. The father told his wife, "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard." So, the couple waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. He saw the note they had left. Then, he took the ten dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flipped through it, to see if any stashed money fell out, and tucked it under his arm. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative sip to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said, "It's even worse than I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!" ___________________________________________________
concrete machine goes crazy
____________________________________________________ A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf. The other night, as they slept, the golfer yelled, "Fore!" His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter !" ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Ed for this one: Thanks again for this Humor Letter. This is a true account. My wife works an evening shift and has a ten mile drive each way. She felt more secure having a male mannequin in the front seat for the ten mile drive at night. She stopped for gas one evening on the way to work. A gentleman saw the mannequin in the front seat and said, "I have a problem getting dates myself too sometimes". She is not usually at loss for words but that stopped her cold! ____________________________________________________
People are awesome, Best of the Month, June.

Today on July 7

1754 Kings College opened in New York City. It was renamed
Columbia College 30 years later. 

1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at
Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. 

1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the
Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri. 

1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading
machine. 

1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for the
first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA. 

1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam,
on the Colorado River. 

1937 Japanese forces invaded China. 

1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini was canonized as the
first American saint. 

1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid for
South Korea. 

1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to a
measure that made the French language equal to English
throughout the national government. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan announced he was nominating
Arizona Judge Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first
female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine,
left for a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal
invitation of Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov. 

1987 Public testimony at the Iran-Contra hearing began. 

1994 Amazon.com, Inc. was founded in Seattle, Washington
under the name "Cadabra." 

1998 A jury in Santa Monica, CA, convicted Mikail Markhasev
of murdering Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son, during a
roadside robbery. 

1999 In Sierra Leone, President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah and
rebel leader Foday Sankoh signed a pact to end the nation's
civil war. 

2000 Cisco Systems Inc. announced that it would buy
Netiverse Inc. for $210 million in stock. It was the 13th
time Cisco had purchased a company in 2000. 

2000 Amazon.com announced that they had sold almost 400,000
copies of "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire," making it
the biggest selling book in e-tailing history. 

2003 In Liberia, a team of U.S. military experts arrived at
the U.S. embassy compound to assess whether to deploy
troops as part of a peacekeeping force in the country.

2016  smiled.


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