Unkilled Hamburger 

Note To All Hunters:

This is from a San Francisco newspaper

Folks, just remember as you read this, this person probably drives & votes

AND, may have already reproduced.......

God help us all.......


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Easiest forms 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 30, 2010

I realize that most of you are independently wealthy, or on huge,
fixed incomes, and don't have terrifying staff payrolls to cover,
but there are probably a few of you, who could use some extra
income. If you like writing, check out Guest Blogging.

It's no hype or BS. Actually, it's more like an apprenticeship.
What you do is build yourself a reputation by posting your
wit and wisdom in places, where it is appreciated.

"Yeah," you ask, "Where ARE those places? Nobody around 
here appreciates what I got to say."

Read Warner Carter's famous "Guest Blogging For Profit".
If you can write a grocery list, he will take you from there
and tell you the rest, including places where to start. 
His book is under $10, an excellent value, that is not going 
to dent your budget.

On top of that, once you have read the book, you can 
become an affiliate, and promote that book. Hs deal is
not the 6 cents per thousand exposures that I get for 
banners, but he will send you the full sales price of every
second sale, that comes from your link. If both of your
grammas or two neighbors spend $9.97 on that book,
$9.97 winds up in your PayPal account instantly. 

Hmmm, how about them neighbors on the other side 
of the street? And all those relatives, who think they are
such hot writers every year before Christmas?

Yeah, there IS real money in that, but don't forget the 
book itself! DO apply what is in there, and DO post on
blogs and make yourself a good name. 

Why? Once you have a good and recognized name 
on the web, then what you say, has a lot more clout! 
Guest Blogging makes the difference between a silly
smart-ass and an authority. Warner Carter shows you
how to pick a niche, where you can quickly rise to 
become an authority.

Try that Guest Bloggng.
You can do it with very little investment of time.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris
The following was overheard at a recent party... "My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?" "I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood."
A Scout Master was teaching about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one in the back raised a hand. "Yes , what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master. replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards." "Why's that ?" "Well," answered , "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..." "And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently. "Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"
#1 Home Energy Savings Manual Save On Home Energy! Cut Energy Waste to the Bone. Lower Your Utility Bills by up to 50%. Learn how to apply Advanced Conservation Methods and Products to Your Existing Home. Makes solar, wind, and other renewable energy systems cost half as much! Get the #1 Home Energy Savings Manua
Thanks to Robert for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Utah Waterfall
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Antonio Trujillo, 44,in Montgomery, Ill Man Charged With DUI, etc In Police Parking Lot Sep 29, 2010 (MONTGOMERY) A Montgomery man has been charged with drunken driving and other offenses after pulling into a police station parking lot and telling officers there was a man hiding in the back of his truck with a knife, Kane County prosecutors said Tuesday. Prosecutors said Antonio Trujillo, 44, was under the influence of alcohol when he arrived at the Montgomery Police Department at 6:30 a.m. Saturday with claims that his family was at home and in danger, and that an armed man was in the back of his pickup truck. Police said they did not find anyone in Trujillo’s vehicle, or anyone in danger at his home. But at Trujillo’s home, officers said they found drugs and a weapon. Trujillo was charged with drunken driving, felony possession of a controlled substance and felony possession of a firearm by a felon.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mara Re: Form on my site Dear Webby, I just have a small, low cost $5.50 sub-domain web site, and I need some simple forms, that don't need an Einstein to set up. Is there a low cost way of doing that? Mara Dear Mara First, I can let you have a sub-domain for $2.50, like for example http://mouse.webby.com , where you can do whatever you want. Form and auto-responder services like A-webber are probably way too expensive and probably too difficult to set up. However, just ike Mouse, you can use postcards! Set up a few postcards for fun and to send to clients and friends, (you don't have to make thousands like Mouse), and set up a card pre-wired to go to YOU! With an archive copy to go to the sender. That is your simple and easy form! Due to the poor economy, I can't donate the postcard service any more, but you can get a PRO for just $8 a month, a third of what those form servies charge. We also have a forms manager for $75 one time cost, but that may be a bit in the future for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
Worlds Best Compost Make the worlds ultimate natural fertilizer, colloidal humus, without bins, turning or odor. No toxic chemicals! Get Worlds Best Compost !
Two mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my son is a saint too. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he gets out of jail next month, I'm going to throw him a big party."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Produce Containers For Mini Hothouses Use empty produce containers (like the ones that hold strawberries) for miniature hothouses. It's very useful for a small hothouse, or to start seeds in a small area. When the plants are big enough, just keep the lid open. I did it for my bean plants, and now they're thriving on my small balcony! By Davidicdancer from Spokane, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Mr. Smith was in his hospital bed and had been getting many tests done. After several days of hospitalization, a nurse finally came into his room and stated, "Mr. Smith, I have some bad news and some good news. Which do you want to hear first?" Mr. Smith solemnly replied, "Well, tell me the bad news first." The nurse said, "The bad news is that your HMO refuses to pay for you to have an enema. But, the good news is that your doctor authorized me, to spank the s**t out of you."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The Monday Afternoon Club, an organization of wealthy city women, met and decided that this month's outing was to be at a dairy farm. Most of them had lived in the city all their lives, and had never seen such a thing. The day came, and the ladies filed into the rented bus which whisked them off to their destination. On the way, they watched out the windows as the city squalor turned into lovely, unpolluted countryside. After they arrived, they were greeted by the farmer who invited them to look him up should they have any questions. Myrtle, after looking about, and being amazed by what she saw, stepped into a building and viewed something she thought was quite remarkable. She saw the farmer walk by and hailed him - he sauntered in. "Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?" The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone: "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. There are also some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a pig."

» R & R Oldies





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Vancouver Antiques 

A man walked into a Vancouver antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: 'How much is this bronze rat?'

The owner replied: 'It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story.'

The man gave the owner his $12 and said: 'I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story.'

As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the sewers and begun following him.

This was a little disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all squealing and screeching in a very menacing way.

He increased his speed & ran on towards the beach, and as he ran, he looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they were running faster & faster. By now very concerned, he ran down to the pier and threw the bronze Rat far out into the water.

Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into the water after it and were all drowned.

The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said: 'Ah, you've come back for the story then?'

'No,' he said, 'I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim Fundamentalist Cleric, a couple of illegal immigrants, a Liberal Supporter, and anything French!'

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No background in Intenet Explorer 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Ars Technica reported how the US government's drive for security 
back doors has enabled the Iranian government to spy on its citizens. 
"For instance, TKTK was lambasted last year for selling telecom 
equipment to Iran that included the ability to wiretap mobile 
phones at will. Lost in that uproar was the fact that sophisticated 
wiretapping capabilities became standard issue for technology 
thanks to the US government's CALEA rules that require all
phone systems, and now broadband systems, to include these 
capabilities."

Awww, now the poor Iranians have to put up with the same 
Big Brother surveillance as Americans. Don't you feel sorry
for them?

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." --- C. G. Jung "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most do." --- Dale Carnegie "The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have." --- Norman Vincent Peale
There was a boy of about 8 who was having a horrible time with his grades in school - math was especially bad. His parents tried everything, but nothing worked, so his parents ended up sending him to a school in Canada. Well, when report card time rolled around, his parents took it, and, with much trepidation, opened it little by little...and saw an A, then another A, and another...however, the final grade was the dreaded one - the mathematics... Well, they opened the page, and saw an A! Incredible! They asked their son what had brought the turnaround, especially in that troubling subject. He said, "Well, when I walked into the classroom, and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they took their math pretty seriously."
A very beautiful, but not so bright lady schedules a three-hour session with her therapist, and all she wants to talk about is how the constant pressure of being a beautiful, desirable blonde is causing her migraine headaches. For two hours straight, she whines, and cries, and moans about how hard it is to be so sexy, while everyone in the world is jealous of her, and says mean things about her, and calls her dumb, and self-centered, and shallow . . . At the two-and-a-half-hour mark, the blonde suddenly stops in mid sentence and shouts, "Doctor! You're a miracle worker! I'm cured! My headache is gone!" The shrink sighs and replies, "No, it isn't gone . . . I have it now."
#1 Home Energy Savings Manual Save On Home Energy! Cut Energy Waste to the Bone. Lower Your Utility Bills by up to 50%. Learn how to apply Advanced Conservation Methods and Products to Your Existing Home. Makes solar, wind, and other renewable energy systems cost half as much! Get the #1 Home Energy Savings Manua
Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Now, where's my bucket and my water?" Gramma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" cried Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
Click through the picture to the large version. A couple of blocks from here
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to two teenagers in Colorado Springs, CO Car thieves caught because they can't drive stick A couple of teenagers learned just how difficult it can be to operate a stick-shift transmission Saturday morning. Police quickly found a stolen purple Ford Explorer early Saturday when police noticed a similar-looking SUV lurching back and forth near Academy Boulevard and Platte Avenue. When police tried pulling over the SUV, two teens inside the vehicle tried running away. They were quickly caught. Police later learned the teens did not know how to operate a stickshift. The teens' names have not been released.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alex Re: No page backgrounds in IE Dear Webby, I bought a used computer. It works quite well, but in Internet Explorer the pages don't show page backgrounds, and the colors occasionally are way off, compared to what I am used to. With my graphcs program everything shows normal, so it isn't the video card or the monitor. I searched all over the net, but could not find a solution to that. How do I fix that? Thanks Alex Dear Alex, Go to CONTROL PANEL, ACCESSIBITY OPTIONS, then select the DISPLAY tab. Uncheck the USE HIGH CONTRAST checkbox. All background colors and font stability should return immediately. If not, reboot. That should take care of that. Have FUN! DearWebby
Last day for this offer! "The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face."Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Attach Recipes to Homemade Mixes I make homemade food mixes and store them in half gallon or gallon jars. Using a rubber band, I keep the recipe attached to the jar. The next time I have to make another batch, the recipe is readily available. Also, on the cards I have the cooking/baking instructions and any special notes. Keeping the recipes readily available makes it easier and faster for me to make the mixes. I also do this for homemade cleaning mixes that I use in my home. By mkymlp from NE PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A 93 year old man went to his doctor to get a physical. A week later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with an attractive young woman on his arm. At the man's next visit, the doctor said, "I saw you with a lady the other day. You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful." "Too late! I'm fine now!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"So, what's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong," the second woman answered. "First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching a lot of fish, and HE didn't!"

» Favorite Apples





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Simple and secure network 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Is this British Logic?
ACS:Law in England spied on Sky Broadband users, 
who downloaded and or shared pirated porno,
and extorted money from them under threat of telling the cops,
and now complains about breach of privacy, because their
extortion racket was exposed, with plenty of proof, 
by a privacy advocacy group, who blew the privacy
of Thousands of porno thieves and extortion victims, 
just to expose the extortionist.

Details in today;s Bonehead Award

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Man is the only animal that goes to sleep when he's not sleepy and gets up when he is. ---Dave Gneiser A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. --- Doug Larson
Little Johnny was talking to a couple of boys in the school yard. Each was bragging about how great their fathers are. The first one said: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!" The second one said: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!" Little Johnny listened to the other two boys and shook his head. He then said: "Sorry, dudes... but MY DAD is the fastest. He's a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30, ... and he's home by 3:45!"
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?" And the minister said, "Lady, I'm in sales, not in tech support."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."
Yesterday's picture was actually of the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone. Click through the picture to the large version. High res 10" x 7.5" for printing
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to British porn thieves and extortionists and privacy activists Porn thieves exposed by privacy group From the e-edition of the London Metro news. http://e-edition.metro.co.uk/2010/09/28/
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Heather Re: Secure network Dear Webby, I live in between a few college dorms and it is a constant battle to keep freeloaders off my two machine network. especially since I am rather clueless about networks. Is there a secure and simple way to link two machines for occasional file transfer? Priority is on the SIMPLE. Thanks Heather Dear Heather, there sure is! You can get a cross-over ethernet cable and connect the two machines together, after making sure both use the same workgroup name. They probably do, but in case it doesn't work, that is the item to check. The other method is using Laplink and a USB cable. That software gives you complete control over the second machine, and you can even remotely run programs over there. It is really simple and easy, but the price of that luxury is not cheap. Laplink Gold is around $90. Laplink has been around for 25 years. Originally it was used to network computers via their printer ports. Now you can do it via USB ports, just like your keyboard. With either method, make sure you use a wired modem, not a wireless router modem. With a wired modem and a cross-over or laplink connection, nobody except you can get into your network. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
As the bus pulled away, Cindy realized she had left her purse under the seat. She called the company and was relieved that the driver had found it. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded her. One man handed her her empty purse, four typewritten pages and a bushel box containing the contents of her purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Attach Recipes to Homemade Mixes I make homemade food mixes and store them in half gallon or gallon jars. Using a rubber band, I keep the recipe attached to the jar. The next time I have to make another batch, the recipe is readily available. Also, on the cards I have the cooking/baking instructions and any special notes. Keeping the recipes readily available makes it easier and faster for me to make the mixes. I also do this for homemade cleaning mixes that I use in my home. By mkymlp from NE PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing?" He says, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll jump down and make a run for it." The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear." The first guy says, "I don"'t have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well...", replied the pirate, "While my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant and the punishment for theft in the middle east is the loss of the hand that steals" "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch?" "A sea gull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously. "Well...", said the pirate, "...it was my first day with the hook."

» Gombe Stream Ntl Park





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Technology Advances 


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Funny 


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Pinhead of the DAy 

Man Removes His Own Testicles With a Broken Bottle

Let’s say your business deal goes bad. Do you: A. Drink yourself into an oblivion, B. Skip town, C. Start turning tricks, D. Remove your testicles via a broken bottle. If you’re a troubled African engine oil salesman, you chose D. The salesman had collected money from customers towards the purchase of engine oil and then turned the money over to a friend. His friend neglected to provide the oil, but kept the funds. Unable to handle the stress of the soured deal, the man became traumatized.

First he took a big stone, threw it up in the air and allowed it to fall on his head, which led to serious head injuries. Then he jumped into a well. Finally, he cut his testicles out of the scrotal sacs with a broken bottle and flung them out of site. Rushed to a local medical center, the man underwent a four hour surgical procedure to repair the damaged sperm ducts. Medical professionals treating the man stated that he would have have bled to death internally if he hadn’t received medical attention immediately. His scrotum was still swollen, having used an unsterile object to cut out the testes.

On the bright side, the man will still be able to have sex, but obviously won’t be able to procreate. Luckily he’s married with three children. It’s believed that he’ll now be facing charges for attempted suicide. (Good idea, Africa. That will cure him of depression for sure.) When questioned about his behavior, the man stated, “I just got fed up with life. I had no money again and I became frustrated. That led to my actions.” Naturally the first solution one would think up in this situation is removing your testicles and throwing them out of sight…


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Converting GIF to JPG 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, September 27, 2010

Why are people so scared of making filters for their email?
Whenever I mention filters, their eyes tend to glaze over, 
and they come up with some flakey excuse, that it would be
too technical or too difficult or too time consuming, or 
something. Most people never even try!

Yet, it is so easy!
If, for example, Gmail put your phone bills into the SPAM folder,
you can make a simple filter using the address of the phone
company as the key, and tell it to return all those that it finds
to the INbox. 

Nothing to it!

With MaiWasher you can get more elaborate and use multiple
criteria for each filter. You don't have to, but you CAN.
The way things are gong with spam, sooner or later you will
have to get comfortable with making filters, or change your 
address twice a year.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. --- Thomas A. Edison If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done. --- Peter Ustinov
When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. After surveying all the stuff he piled onto the check-out conveyor, the check-out clerk remarked: "If you ever want to experiment with spaghetti, you better get some professional help!"
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it" The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have and she has helped me make a decision." And what is your decision?" asks the doctor. "We're getting granite counter-tops."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
"Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave." "Not me, Sarge!" the private replied. "Once I get out of the Army, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
Thanks to Roberet for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Golden Valley, UT
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Randolph Westbrook Jr., 43 in Ypsilanti, MI Parolee on GPS tether robs pizza joint An Ypsilanti Township man who spent 23 years in prison for rape was charged today with robbing a local pizzeria while wearing an electronic tether. Randolph Westbrook Jr., 43, was released from prison in January after serving more than two decades of an 18- to 50 year prison sentence, state records show. Washtenaw County Sheriff's Sgt. David Archer said a man entered the Mr. Pizza in the 800 block of Ecorse Road at 11:05 p.m. His face was partially concealed, and he ordered the clerk to empty the cash register at gunpoint, Archer said. Deputy John Cratsenburg was several blocks from Mr. Pizza when the call came in. He noticed a man riding a bicycle matching the description of the robber, a sheriff's summary said. When the man saw Cratsenburg, he got off the bike and ran. Sgt. Dave Egeler spotted the man in the area and gave chase into the wooded area, where he and other officers were able to take the man into custody, reports said. Police recovered the handgun and the cash taken in the robbery, Archer said. The 43-year-old Washtenaw County resident is scheduled to be arraigned Friday on charges of armed robbery and using a firearm to commit a felony. Police said he is currently on parole and was wearing an electronic tether, but the details of his past conviction were not immediately available.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tina Re: Can GIFs be changed to JPG? Dear Webby, My mother changed a whole bunch of pictures to GIF format and deleted the originals, apparently to gain free space. Now she finally got a second and much bigger drive, and wants to convert them back to JPG, but when she does it, the results are somewhere between crappy and atrocious. Is there a bulk converter, that converts pictures one directory at a time and produces decent results? Thanks Tina Dear Tina No, there isn't. GIF has only 256 colors. JPG has 16 Million. GIF is rather coarse and uses single pixels by averaging groups of pixels. You can't un-average a single pixel into the many different shades that were averaged. About allyou can do is enlarge a GIF picture, soften it, then increase contrast, enlarge it some more, and keep repeating that. At each step you have to decide how much to soften it, how much to increase contrast, whether to increase saturation, and so on. Eventually you will wind up with an acceptable picture, but nowhere near as good as the original. The bulk converters just do it all in one step and the results are less than satisfactory. I use bulk converters occasionally in the opposite direction, making GIF thumbnails from JPG originals. For that they work great. From GIF to JPG it is a tedious and tme consuming manual effort. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?" "No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time. The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view. Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the brakes, pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady." "Is this Oriskany Falls?" "YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!" "Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my first blood pressure pill."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Word of the Day - Expand Child's Vocabulary To help my kids expand their vocabularies, I've chose a "word of the day" for several years now. They get it printed on a piece of paper at breakfast, along with the part of speech (noun, verb, etc.), then at dinner, they each try to use the word during our family discussion. I keep track of how many times the word is used and by whom, and list the results on a poster. We're all amazed at how much their vocabularies have grown (and can see the number of new words they learned each month). It's exciting to be able to explain yourself so precisely because of all the words we have in the English language! Once you use a word 5-10 times, it pretty much stays in your mind. Source: My own idea when I heard kids using words that didn't describe what they really meant! By Casey from Plano, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of three hundred miles." A sarcastic member of the group asked, "What on earth would one whale say to another, three hundred miles away?" "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww?'!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there. "Here," she said, handing him the coats. "This time you put the children into their coats, and I'll go outside and honk the horn."

» Field to Fridge





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Wet keyboard 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, September 26, 2010

Ontario is almost finished cleaning up after the last 
Alberta Clipper, and guess what? It feels like a Chinook 
again here.

16º (60F) at 2 am is a pretty sure sign. So is the total absence
of leaves on my lawn. They have all departed, eastward bound.
The farmers, of course, are smiling now. The Chinook will ripen
and dry the grain, and blow the machienry destroying dust off
it. Together with my leaves, that should arrive in Ontario 
in about a week.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece. --- G. K. Chesterton Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting. --- Alan Dean Foster As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. --- Josh Billings Women only have two complaints. Nothing to wear, and not enough closet space for it. --- Socratex
Morris and Harry were both fanatics about deep sea fishing. Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught. So Morris comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells Harry, "You wouldn't believe, but in the Bahamas I caught a 500 pound herring." Harry says, "That's nothing, last time I fished in the Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken Spanish ship -- and da candle was still burning!" They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying. Finally, Harry said to Morris, "Look Morris, if you take 499 pounds off your herring . . . I'll blow out my candle!"
The teenage beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired as to the reason for her worrying. She informed her friend that her mom was always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend said, " At her age, that's not good at all. Why is she staying up all night?" "She's waiting for me to come home."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Wendy was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, Wendy had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, her husband was six-feet-tall so she called him to help. "Hey, James!" Wendy yelled , who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Honey," James remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title 'Your Highness.'"
Ahhh, thank you, Webby, for sharing Robert's photo today! With special mega thanks to Robert (what a 'dream job, indeed!) for giving such great information (especially the hostel info!)... sure wish all the folks who send in pics to you would at least give location if not more info. Hate to be left wondering! Have a Super Great Day! 4K Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Elizabeth Ellett, 25, in Sherwood, Oregon Flashand flip to jail ALOHA, Ore. -- A woman's run from police came to end Wednesday when she was placed in handcuffs and loaded into a patrol car bound for the Washington County Jail. Elizabeth Ellett, 25, is accused of flipping off a police officer, flashing him and then driving off, forcing the officer to jump out of the way to avoid being hit, police said. Sherwood Police Captain Jim Reed said the incident began when an officer was helping a driver whose car broke down along Highway 99. The officer noticed Ellett honking and trying to get around traffic. The officer flagged Ellett to pull over, but when he attempted to talk with her, Reed said, she made the obscene gesture, flashed him with her DD's and then took off, nearly hitting him. That prompted a slow-speed chase through Washington County with Ellett driving at near posted speeds, police said. Officers laid down a spike strip in an attempt to stop the woman, but even after puncturing her front tire she continued driving to her parents home near Southwest 184th Avenue and Rigert Road in Aloha. Police said Ellett holed up inside the house and refused to come out. Neighbor Charles Vranizan said officers were using a loud speaker to try and convince the woman to give herself up. "They repeated this about every five minutes for a good 45 minutes or so," Vranizan said. "They said, 'I want to talk to you, please come out we want to make sure you're OK,' because she wasn't responding." Officers set up a perimeter, sent in a police dog and eventually arrested Ellett. She suffered minor injuries from a dog bite to her calf, but refused treatment, police said. Ellett is now in the Washington County Jail on a $85,000 bond, facing attempted assault, eluding and reckless endangering charges. Neighbors said the whole situation is strange. "You know, the world is full of interesting people; to each their own." Vranizan said, "You shouldn't be running around flashing the police." Ellet made her first court appearance Thursday and pleaded not guilty to attempted assault, eluding and unauthorized use of a weapon. Her next court appearance is set for Sept. 30.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rosa Re: Wet keyboard Dear Webby, We had a broken pipe and water poured over the keyboard in the den in the basement all night. The computer was not turned on at the time. Is that keyboard dead and going to kill the computer, or can it be saved? Thanks Rosa Dear Rosa Exposure to water is not necessarily that bad for a keyboard, as long as it is not turned on at the time. Just remove the back cover, and let it dry out thoroughly. Spraying it inside and out with WD40 will lift any remaining moisture. WD40 is actually a fish oil and heavier than water. It sneaks in under the water and water then floats on top of it and can then evaporate. Let it dry another day after spraying it, then dab it with an old t-shirt and put it back together. When all the screws are in, clean the outside with a window cleaner. That procedure usually works even after some well meaning but not too bright soul puts a keyboard into the dishwasher. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?" The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!" To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $100,000 to the building fund...." To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pack Clutter Into Trash Bags And Organize Later Do you feel overwhelmed that your home is a big mess? Just looking at it, you do not know where to begin? Try this: Take a big green trash bag and go in each room, Put everything that is laying around into the bag: clothes, toys, shoes, just what ever is on the floor and such. You will have a clean home in 10 minutes. Then while you are sitting down watching a movie, go through this bag and put everything in place. It gives such peace of mind By halaluyah77 from MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
While at a government office, a voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency. Whenever there is a telphone outage, the speaker system will automatically take over for all inter-office communication. When the phones are off and the speakers are on, please do not relay any confidential information." Then the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please phone the help desk."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A wealthy old man looked around the table at his two sons and five daughters and their spouses gathered for a family reunion. "Not a single grandchild," he said with a sigh. "Kids, when I was busy getting us securely established, were a nuisance, but grandchildren would be a pleasure, now that I would have time for them. I'll give a million dollars to the first kid who presents me with a little one to bounce on my knee. Now, let's say grace." When the old man lifted his eyes again, his wife was the only other person at the table.

» Moon Cakes





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Laplink, Mover versus Image Copy 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, September 25, 2010

Because Gullible Warming has been snowed out, and Gullible
Change given a bad name by Obamanov, the Climate Fashists 
have come up with a new phrase: "Climate Disruption".
They now claim that, if they don't get enough Government Grants, 
then the traditional cyclic changes may get disrupted and not
change as usual.

The Climate Fashists and prophets of doom tried to play up 
Hurricane Earl as a killer storm sure to wreak destruction
much worse than Katrina, but they forgot to use common
sense or to check with Mother Nature, who had other plans.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging. ---Joe Martin, Mister Boffo Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. ---Jane Wagner I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. ---Jerome K. Jerome
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers. The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn't serve quackers. Sure enough, the very next day, the duck again walks into the bar and asks for some quackers. The bartender screams at the duck, "If you come in here one more time, I'm going to nail your beak into the wall with a hammer and some nails! " A few days pass, and then the duck walks into the bar again.The bartender notices the duck and says, "I'm warning you!" The duck replies, "Do you have a hammer?" The bartender replies, "No!" The duck asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender replies, "No!" The duck grins and asks, "Do you have any quackers?"
It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, "Poor devil!"
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
One of Trina's wedding presents was a toaster oven. After the honeymoon, she and Bernie, her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. "Get the owner's manual!" Bernie shouted. "I can't find it anywhere!" cried Trina a short time later. "Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen. "Well, the toast is fine, but the owner's manual's burned to a crisp."
Thanks to Robert for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Pigeon Point Lighthose, approx. 24 miles north of Santa Cruz, California. I use to live 500 yards north of the lighthouse. I was caretaking 1,500 acres with a half mile of private beach with six ponds. What beautiful days those were. The closest town is Pescadero which is 6 miles north and inland. Pigeon Point Lighthouse is also used as a Hostel. Robert
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jared Overway, 17, in Port Chrlotte, Florida Port Charlotte teen stole car, left license inside PORT CHARLOTTE: Detectives say a Port Charlotte teenager stole a car from a local lot and then left his driver's license inside the vehicle when he returned it last week. Miles Jared Overway, 17, was charged with Grand Theft Auto. According to a sheriff's report, on Sept. 15 Overway and another man visited the Car Care Center at 19500 Peachland Blvd. in Port Charlotte and inquired about buying a 1999 Ford Crown Victoria. Detectives say the duo took the car for a test drive and brought it back, but did not return the keys. The car was reported stolen that night. The next morning, the business owner reported the car was returned and parked in the lot. During the investigation, a deputy opened the driver's door and saw Overway's Florida driver's license between the door and seat. Deputies say the car was returned with various electronic items inside missing. On Wednesday, Overway was arrested, taken to the Charlotte County Jail and then released to his parents' custody. Deputies are still looking for his accomplice, according to the Sheriff's Office.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wayne Re: Which Laplink Dear Webby, laplink for $30? Where? I looked thru the site briefly and couldn't find anything close to that price. Unless you were referring to the upgrade assistant they offer. It's a confusing site. A "special" program to move a regular pc to a netbook? Why is that a difference? Why not just do their version of Image Copy? Wayne Dear Wayne Image Copy is intended for a new hard drive on the same machine, or the same machine and same OS after a format. If there is a different drive, sound card, video card, OS, different anything, don't use Image Copy! Image Copy from a 40 GB drive to a 1000 GB drive, will cheerfully turn hat 1000 GB drive into a 40. Image copy is perfect to use before letting a family member use the machine while you are away on vacation. When you get back, you totally disregard what kind of mess they made and how many viruses they put on it, and simply stomp your image copy over it. Like a time machine, it will turn everything back to exactly the way it was at the moment you made that image copy. If there is a change of anything, use the $29.95 PC Mover, or "Upgrade Assistant", as Microsoft wants them to call it, in order to be politically correct enough to get the "Microsoft Gold Certified" sticker. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
A student comes to a young professor after regular office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do... **anything**!!!" He returns her gaze. "Anything???" "Yes,... Anything!!!" His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... ahhh,..... study???"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pack Clutter Into Trash Bags And Organize Later Do you feel overwhelmed that your home is a big mess? Just looking at it, you do not know where to begin? Try this: Take a big green trash bag and go in each room, Put everything that is laying around into the bag: clothes, toys, shoes, just what ever is on the floor and such. You will have a clean home in 10 minutes. Then while you are sitting down watching a movie, go through this bag and put everything in place. It gives such peace of mind By halaluyah77 from MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One moment, please." Pause. "I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild." "No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild." "I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild." "Not *Theodore*! *Theater*! The word is *theater*. T-H-E-A-T-E-R!" "That, *sir*, is NOT the way you spell Theodore."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Tommy was able to get rid of one of those telephone marketers not long ago. The marketer called and was in the middle of giving her spiel about saving money on long-distance. Tommy interrupted her, "Ma'am, I don't need your long distance service because I don't have a telephone." Must have caught her off guard because she said, "Oh, I'm sorry to have bothered you."

» The 60's





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Moving programs to a new computer 



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Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, September 24, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

I got asked today, if one can use stationery with a Gmail address.
Yes, of course, it's just an address.
However, it made me realize that most people believe, that the 
browser view of Gmail is all that there is to it. Well, it is NOT.
The browser view is convenient for checking the mail while
away from your own machine. That's all. It's just ONE way
of looking at your mail.

Once you have your own computer, it's time to turn on the
POP in your Gmail, and use a full featured email program
like Eudora, pegasus, Outlook, Outlook Express, or any of the
hundreds of POP email programs available.

The browser view of Gmail is just for quick peeking, like the
Squirrel Mail, that has been around since the beginning of 
networking. Like the Squirrel, it is not intended to be full featured, 
but is intended to be fast even on slow connections.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. --- Oscar Wilde "I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom." --- General George S. Patton "The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself." --- Mark Caine
A young married couple lived in a cheap housing complex. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!"
"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my math homework for me?" Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "Why don't you at least try ? Mom can help you with it."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
A teacher observed a kid entering the classroom with dirty hands. She stopped and said, ", please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?" With a smile replied, "I think I'd be too polite to mention it."
Thanks to Cheryle for this picture: Cheryle does not know where the picture was taken, but it is too beautiful, not to share it.

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Janice Albert, 18 of Monroe, Washington Smelly feet crack led to stabbing MONROE, Wash. (UPI) -- Prosecutors in Washington state said a woman stabbed a man in the back with a steak knife after he teasingly told her she had smelly feet. Snohomish County deputy prosecutor Janice Albert said a 19-year-old man was teasing Dallas Amber Smith, 18, of Monroe, after she failed to complete a back flip off a deck at a Sept. 7 party, The Daily Herald, Everett, Wash., reported. Albert wrote in court papers filed Wednesday that Smith playfully wrestled with the man and attempted to rub her socks in his face until he pushed her off after a few seconds. The papers said Smith soon prepared to leave the party and stabbed the man in the back with a steak knife on her way out. The man, who suffered a punctured lung, is expected to recover, authorities said. Smith was arrested at her parents' home and charged with second-degree assault with a deadly weapon. She was released after posting $50,000 bail. A $250,000 warrant was issued for Smith's arrest Wednesday after she told a detective she was planning to visit Australia for several months, but the warrant was rescinded when she surrendered her passport to police.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: Moving programs Dear Webby, I just bought a new HP computer equipped with Windows 7, and I want to transfer most of my computer programs, Emails, Email addresses, and pictures from my old computer which is also an HP but running Windows Vista. I know I could purchase Laplink PC Mover to make the transfer easy, but is there a cheap and dirty way to do the same thing? Thanks, Ron Dear Ron There are lots of dirty and time consuming ways of doing that. All of them, except for Laplink, require re-installing each program, IF you cn still find the original license keys. Laplink has been around for about 25 years, and I remember carrying the blue and the yellow laplink cables in my tool case in the 80's, when I was a mobile trouble-shooter, much like the Geek Squad is these days. The Laplink software doesn't fit on a floppy any more, but it does a lot more than it did in those days, and nowadays you can even use it with a USB cable. If you don't want to manually re-install each and every program, and tediously re-create all your settings and preferences, then Laplink is your best bet and probably only choice.. And it is cheap. $30 for home use. There is one major point to keep in mind: Virus protection! Laplink is NOT an anti virus program. It is just a mover. Make sure you got at least a trial version of the best anti-virus program you can get on the recipient machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Joe was on the phone and told his wife what a lousy day it'd been. She asked, "Will you be joining me in the hot tub tonight?" "Wow, how sweet. What a lovely way to spend an evening," he thought. He was just about to tell her how considerate and wonderful she was being when she continued: "'Cuz, if you're not, I need to start adding more water to the tub."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Label Child's Belongings for School With school back in full swing, for your younger children who might have trouble remembering their coats, jackets, or other items, at school or on the school buses, please put their names on the clothing tags inside, so they can be returned your family. Any items without names or identification left on the buses gets tossed in the trash. Source: My husband works for a school bus yard. By Terri from NV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
One day Father Boudreaux and Father Thibodeaux wus fishin on da side of da road. So as not a make it obvius that they were fishing, they hung a big religious poster over a highway sign. Actually it was da back offa Madonna poster and dey had hand lettered on it: "The End is Near! Turn yurself 'Round now afore it's too late!" Well, dis one car dat passed didn't appreciate the sign an da driver wus shouting at dem and hollerin "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" Den all of a sudden dey heard a big splash, an dey looked at each other, an Fr. Boudreaux said ..... "ya think it's maybbie bad luck ta hang a Madonna poster onn da 'Bridge Out' sign?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who was contacted by police to assist in a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect."

» Northern Lights





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Tricycling 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 23, 2010

"Two new dinosaur species discovered; still extinct."
DUH, really?
Well, that is the headline at http://snipurl.com/extinct

Don't worry, I think they will remain extinkt for a while yet.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." --- Mark Twain "One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball." ---Don Carter, pro bowler
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house."
Jill heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, "Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting." "It was postponed." he replied. "The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate won't let him attend until he finishes doing the laundry."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
One evening after dinner, Little Johnny noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?" Dad told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?" Little Johnny's father had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." Little Johnny burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," Little Johnny said. "I'm not THAT silly. Mom always says that Tupperware is the cheapest at Walmart! What are they really doing?"
Thanks to Donnie for this picture: Double Rainbow

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James M. Brienzo, 20 in Acron, Ohio From the frying pan into the fire The clues were there when police responded to a theft call at Wal-Mart around 6 a.m. Wednesday. A man was seen running into the darkness after leaving the rear door with a shopping cart full of merchandise. Just before the man left the store, investigators found an unoccupied vehicle behind the building at 2700 W. State St. The engine was running. But the suspect was nowhere to be found. Police might have gotten answer later when they got a call about a man trapped inside a refuse truck. The man had to be freed from the BFI trash-hauling truck after it was taken to the Alliance Recycling in the 15900 block of River Street NE, just north of Alliance in Lexington Township. The man, identified by police as James M. Brienzo, was taken to MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland where he was in critical condition Wednesday afternoon. HOW IT HAPPENED Within an hour of finding the car, police got a call from Akron placed by a man identifying himself as Brienzo’s friend. The caller told police that Brienzo called him and said he was inside a refuse bin that had just been emptied into a trash hauling truck. Police and Stark County dispatchers contacted Brienzo on his cell phone. He was located in the truck on N. Walnut Avenue through a global positioning system. Police worked to free the man but couldn’t, so the truck was taken to the recycling center where it was emptied. “When they pick up a new trash bin, they mechanically push the contents to the rear to make room for the next dumpster. He was pretty well compacted to the rear of the truck,” Police Chief Scott Griffith said. “That is why we had to actually dump the contents of the truck to get him out.” NO CHARGES FILED “He was conscious when he came out,” said John Sypolt, manager of the recycling center. “He actually asked for a bottle of water, then he passed out. He looked pretty bad off. He was all scraped up on the side.” While police are investigating the Wal-Mart theft incident, Griffith declined to confirm if Brienzo is a suspect or if he will be charged. Police, as of Wednesday afternoon, did not have much personal information on Brienzo. They said he is from Akron, possibly in his 20s.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dolores Re: Tricycling Dear Webby, Your comment about weight not being a problem on a bike is so true! Both my hubby and I weigh at least twice as much, each, as my know-it-all son does. Hubby sails us smoothly around any corner, even if I am sorting through my purse or making sandwiches, and my 275 pounds high up on my raised Queen seat are no probem at all, but Mr Know-it-all has to slow down for any bend and white-knuckles and zigzags around it and has overcooked quite a few curves. Luckily he has never hit any oncoming traffic in a curve, but has fallen down a few times already. Can you 'splain in simple terms, like you do with web stuff, what the difference is, what he does wrong? Dolores Dear Dolores Your son tricycles, your hubby "counter-steers". To turn right, your son turns the handlebars to the right, like he would on a trycicle. At low speed, that is OK, but at speed, the gyroscopic forces in the front wheel, will lean the bike to the left, the outside of the curve. That makes it very awkward to turn to the right, and that is why he zig-zags and barely makes it around a corner. Your hubby takes advantage of the gyro forces, turns the handlebars slightly to the left and lets the force lean the bike to the right. That puts the front wheel road contact to the right of the bike's center line, as if it was an articulated loader. At the same time, the generous lean of the bike keeps your weight pointing straight through the seat and the rear wheel, to where it contacts the road. That is why you can make sandwiches, while your son is always in danger of getting pulled off the bike towards the outside of a curve. If your son doesn't get the hang of counter steering, he should get a trike or a car. Otherwise sooner or later he will kill himself in a corner. Not all bikers grow old. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Two new additions to the periodic table of elements: Element Name: WOMANIUM Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (Don't even go there) Physical Properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left waiting. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!!!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing a Kettle Barbecue Some years ago, my husband and I decided to replace our barbecue kettle with a gas grill; but the kettle was still perfectly good. It seemed a shame to get rid of it. We considered drilling holes in the bottom, and turning it into a planter. Instead, we painted it bright red and set potted plants and flowers in it. Because it had wheels, it could be moved to the shade. It could be moved where it was raining (or where it wasn't), etc. It was so cute, we decided to do the same thing with our old chest freezer to complete the whimsy. We drilled holes into the bottom, planted geraniums, and set it next to the BBQ-planter. People always commented on how fun it was when they were on our patio. By Lady Eleanour from The Rocket City http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Element Name: MANIUM Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50) Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as younger samples. Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Spontaneously inflates with hot air when grouped with other like specimens. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to desend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. Then the preacher heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?"

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Thought this news item was funny:
"Google has revealed that aerial fiber links to its data center 
in Oregon were 'regularly' shot down by hunters, forcing the
company to put its cables underground. Hunters were reportedly 
trying to hit insulators on electricity distribution poles, which 
also hosted aerially-deployed fiber connected to Google's 
$600 million data center in The Dalles. 
'I have yet to see them actually hit the insulator, but they
regularly shoot down the fiber,' Google's network engineering 
manager Vijay Gill told a conference in Australia. 
'Every November when hunting season starts invariably we 
know that the fiber will be shot down, so much so that we 
are now building an underground path for it.'"

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"Consultants have credibility because they aren't dumb enough to work at your company." ---Scott Adams "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ---Emo Philips
Daffinition: Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? The reason old firehalls have circular stairways is from the days when the fire engines were pulled by horses. They kept the horses from walking up the stairs and eating the firefighters lunches while they slept. You might be wondering why they called their vehicles "engines" if they were pulled by horses. The "engine" was the steam engine powered pump. Re horses walking up stairs, did you know that horses can walk DOWN stairs too, but cows won't ? If you decide that it might be a fun graduation prank to herd some cows upstairs to the admin or even the dean's level, they have to be sedated and CARRIED down the stairs. After that sometimes the admin staff too needs to be sedated. A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
Jane got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Ethel is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." As Ethel finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water. "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too." Again Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" Ethel replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Last roses of fall
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to two bank robbers in Bulgaria A bungling bank robber in Bulgaria was arrested after his loot turned out to be so heavy that he fell off his motorcycle. The hapless thief was caught when he attempted to make his geaway from a bank robbery with a bag stuffed full of cash - £120,000 ($188,250) worth in total. Unfortunately for the bank robber, the bag full of money was so heavy that it destabilised the motorcycle, causing him to lose his balance and fall off the vehicle. Assuming the cash was in the local currency, it would have totalled around 280,000 Bulgarian leva - a currency in which the largest denomination is 100 leva note. The wobbly villain was quickly detained by the Bulgarian authorities. Things went from bad to worse for the criminal gang, when shortly afterwards the robber's accomplice was also arrested - when his bike ran out of gas right in front of a police station in the town of Petrich, in southwest Bulgaria near the Macedonian-Greek border. -------- Weight is no problem on a bike, if the rider has decent riding skills. However, when a novice rider steers a bike, like it was a tricycle, then extra weight WILL knock him over quickly.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dan Re: Understanding cookies Dear Webby, What is all this hysteria about cookies and getting rid of them? I get a lot of junkmail telling me about program that will get rid of all cookies and imply that they are as bad as viruses, and that I need to protect myself from them. What's the scoop? Dan Dear Dan If they are BSing you like that, they probably just want to stampede you into download their virus. Unless you turn into a terrorist and/or pervert, you don't have to worry about cookies at all. They are your trail of bread crumbs to find stuff again, without long searches. Banks use them to steer you quickly to the right department. The cookie does not store your private information or any transactions, just that you went through their maze and eventually found the place to pay bills. Other sites set a cookie telling the browser, that you HAVE subscribed or paid and are therefore allowed into the area reserved for members. If you kill that cookie, then you have to dig out your sign-up receipt and log in the hard way, until it sets a membership cookie again. Naturally, perverts and/or terrorists would not want to leave a trail like that, if they expect their machine to be confiscated and analyzed by experts. Normal people have absolutely nothing to worry about with cookies. Today's c are your helpers. Cookies also save you money. Most businesses have different price lists, depending on how you enter. To make it worthwhile for affiliates to promote their product, they sell it cheaper, when you arrive with a cookie from an affiliate, than if you just barge in. When you show up with that cookie, they see that you have already been told the basics about their product, and mainly just want to buy. So YOU get the low price list, and the affiliate, who shepherded you in out of the rain, will get a coffee, and maybe even a donut. So, unless you want to always pay full retail, don't mess with your cookies! Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
A local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday after that, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday he preached for an hour and a half. I asked him about this. He then told me "Well, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot. But the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures and I couldn't stop talking!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Memo Board for Unusual Grocery Items I keep a small memo board on the side of my fridge to write down those things you run out of that are not normally on your grocery list. Kraut, capers, special spices, brown sugar, molasses, cranberry sauce, the sort of thing that if I run out, I may forget to replace because I don't use it too often. Then when I need it, I find out, I forgot to replace it. For instance, you may only use kraut for Rubens but it is nice to know you do have the kraut when you crave one. About once a month I check the list and put the items on my normal grocery list. By Eveh from Gulf Coast http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

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Sorting files into different folders 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, September 21, 2010

This one is going to arrive late. It's 3am now, that I finally 
get started on it. Barb, who has been my assistant, secretary,
book keeper and friend and neighbor for a decade, is running 
for town council. So she needed a site in a hurry: http://barbfroud.com
Sharlene, another neighbor, is running for mayor again. 
She too needed a site in a hurry: http://black-diamond-election.com
Go have a look! Black Diamond might be a small town, but we
have a better looking mayor than your town has!

The sites will grow, of course, but I made them a good 
head-start this evening. 
. 
Have FUN!
DearWebby

The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level. --- Norman Mailer It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember. --- Eugene McCarthy This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. ---Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) "I don't have a lot of respect for talent. Talent is genetic. It's what you do with it that counts." --- Martin Ritt
A company in Annapolis, MD, offers tours through the historic district of the town, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Dave, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Dave in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"
Rina, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about her and her education, but then asked her, out of the blue, "What is three times seven?" "22," Rina replied. After she left, she double-checked it on her calculator (she *knew* she should have taken it to the interview!) and realized she wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, she got a letter that said she was hired for the job! She was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, she went in and asked why she got the job,even though she got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, and no pollution, no rush hour. The women did all the work, while the sat around and smoked pipes, and went hunting or fishing whenever anybody mentioned cleaning up the yard or fixing the teepee. Ever since then, a bunch of do-gooders have been trying to "improve" the place.
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dominic Hinton,20 and Roman Nazarko, 19, in Garden City, Idaho 2 men attempted to rob sheriff in Craiglist sale GARDEN CITY, Idaho - Authorities say two men attempted to rob a local buyer interested in purchasing a laptop computer off Craigslist. The buyer was Ada County Sheriff Gary Raney. Garden City Police report Raney was looking to purchase a laptop computer and had agreed to meet the potential seller at 6650 Glenwood St. in Garden City. When Raney arrived, however, he saw the "seller" in a pullover hooded sweatshirt and other dark clothing sitting on a rock. Raney said he quickly became suspicious. "The (dark clothing) is what we call a clue," Raney said. Police say they believe the dark-clothed man planned to rob Raney once he got there. However, Raney called police and - when they arrived - the "seller" took off on foot. He was apprehended almost immediately. A second suspect also was later arrested. After an investigation, Garden City Police say two suspects, 20-year-old Dominic Hinton and 19-year-old Roman Nazarko, intended to commit an armed robbery. "The only thing better than laughing at arresting criminals," Raney said, "is laughing at arresting dumb criminals." This is not the first time these suspects attempted a similar crime, officials say. Earlier this month, police say the suspects attempted to rob a Nampa man during a bogus iPad purchase. "We had tremendous response in our call to the community for tips and information following the robbery last week," said Boise Police Sgt. Mark Bennett. "Citizens in the community were anxious for us to find the suspects, and today we can thank all involved who helped make that happen."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ruth Re: Sorting out picture files Dear Webby, I have to sort out my picture collection. It is getting too big and cumbersome for having them all in one folder. The only method I know of is to have six explorer windows open, and drag the pictures to the appropriate one. Needless to say, with six explorer windows open, this computer slows to a crawl and acts like it is just about crashing. Bert, my hubby, laughed when he saw that, bit didn't have any solution other than telling me: "Ask Dear Webby!" So I am asking you, how do YOU do that? Ruth Dear Ruth Set your explorer to Classic mode, File/Folder type, not task type. Rename the destination folders with one or two exclamation marks in the front, like !!summer, !!fall, etc. That makes them show at the top in alphabetical sorting in the folder view on the left. You may have to Click on Folders to make that left side panel open up. No change the View mode to Thumbnails. It may take a while to generate thumbnails for all the pictures. Once you see the thumbnails, you can drag each one to one of the six destination folders near the top in the folder view panel on the left. When you have it set up like that, sorting and weeding goes fast. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Memo Board for Unusual Grocery Items I keep a small memo board on the side of my fridge to write down those things you run out of that are not normally on your grocery list. Kraut, capers, special spices, brown sugar, molasses, cranberry sauce, the sort of thing that if I run out, I may forget to replace because I don't use it too often. Then when I need it, I find out, I forgot to replace it. For instance, you may only use kraut for Rubens but it is nice to know you do have the kraut when you crave one. About once a month I check the list and put the items on my normal grocery list. By Eveh from Gulf Coast http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
On the last day before the exam, the professor wished the students luck as he wrote a phone number on the blackboard. "If any of you have difficulty understanding the review material, call this number," he said as he dismissed the class. On Saturday afternoon, stumped by one of the review problems, Don reached for the phone and heard a recorded message, from Dial-A-Prayer.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Driving home from the store one day, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station. "How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts." The father countered with: "If all members of a band that plays Your style of music were playing the same song at the same time, what would they be singing about?" "They don't. If they did, it would just be boring country music!"

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, September 20, 2010

And we have another tempest in a teapot in the South China Sea.
The last time there was a fuss about them, I asked a Japanese
friend, why they don't put a jail or drug rehab center, or at least
an unmanned solar powered lighthouse on those uninhabited islands.
"Nah, they are not THAT important. Just important enough to 
keep the politicians and the lawyers busy and in the news."

They obviously have not learned from the Australian Iron Ore
salesman's incarceration and conviction. Actual facts are 
totally irrelevant, when the Chinese Government gets involved.
They fabricate their own. Might get intresting for a bit, and take
the heat off the Gullible Warming flop.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. --- Sir Winston Churchill It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people. --- Logan Pearsall Smith ---------- Methinks, I could get used to that type of wretchedness quite easily.
Thanks to Roland for this story: Leaving Montreal, Quebec, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. As I go in the washroom, the first stall is taken so I go in the second stall. As I sit down, I hear a voice from the next stall..."Hi there, how is it going?" I'm not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to do so finally I say: "Not bad..." The voice says, "So, what are you doing?" Talk about your dumb questions. I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm just going to the bathroom, then I'm going back east..." Then I hear the person say all flustered: "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question the idiot in the next stall answers."
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys may be hurting the dog, the clergyman approached the group of boys and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we have decided that, whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie, will get to keep the dog." Of course, the reverend was taken aback and exclaimed, "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" Then he launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning with, "Don't you boys know that it is a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, the Rev gets the dog. There is no way we can top that."
Thanks to Rita for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Picture I took in Maui of the Flash of Green in the sunset on Kamaole Beach III. Rita
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Giovanni Lyles-Dawson, 29, in Forest Park, Ill He smoked the evidence FOREST PARK, Ill. (UPI) -- Police in Illinois said a man admitted smoking the last of his marijuana in his car during a traffic stop so officers wouldn't be able to find any drugs. River Forest police said Giovanni Lyles-Dawson was pulled over at 6:09 p.m. Sept. 9 for allegedly driving with expired plates, and officers detected a strong odor of marijuana when they approached the vehicle, the Forest Park (Ill.) Forest Leaves reported. Police said they asked Lyles-Dawson to exit the car, but he instead locked his door and rolled up his window. The man's mother, Jayne Dawson, 47, who was in the passenger seat, also locked her door and refused to exit when ordered by police. Lyles-Dawson was eventually coaxed out of the vehicle and he told police: "I smoke weed. There's no weed in the car because I smoked it all." Lyles-Dawson was ticketed for expired plates and arrested on charges of obstructing a police officer, possession of drug paraphernalia and a previous warrant for non-payment of child support. Jayne Dawson as also charged with obstructing police.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lisa Re: Registry Booster Dear Webby, Thank you so much for recommending RegistryBooster, it has helped my computer run faster. It helped my mother's more. Earlier this summer she paid $200 to have her laptop fixed. When she got it back, it worked but took an hour to check her bank balance. She took it to another place last week for another $200. This time it only took forty minutes to check the balance. I downloaded RegistryBooster. . . guess what? Thank You. Now it runs like new. Oh- and thanks for the awesome newsletters, they are greatly appreciated. Lisa Dear Lisa You are most welcome! Like you, all who bought the Registry Booster are happy with it, especially those, who rebooted after it cleaned the registry. That prevents semi-legit entries from re-establishing themseves. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" he asked. "Nothing," she answered. "Well, it's not in there. Look under the bed."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baby Oil for Gum in Hair To get bubble gum out of hair, just dab a little baby oil on your finger tips (depending on the size of the wad) and rub on the gum. It should just slide right off the hair with minimal mess! By Beth B. from Lee, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When a job applicant asked if the phone company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, "Oh, our employees don't need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, hiding the paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"Mom, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?" She just said, "Thank goodness!"

» Gourds Galore





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The Difference 

- On being told that someone has purchased a new car, women ask what color it is. Men ask what the make and model are.

- Men have no opinions whatsoever on curtains.

- Ask for directions from a woman out and about, and she will give you landmarks by shopping stores. Men will give you landmarks by restaurants and pubs.

- Men appreciate the importance of a 42-inch plasma screen.

- Women can use sex to get what they want. Men can't because, well, what they want is sex.

- Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs.

- At weddings, women cry and then drink too much. Men drink too much, and then cry.

- Men can balance an infinite amount of trash in the garbage can without ever noticing it's full.

- Women know when all you want to do is get it off your shoulders and whine. Men always offer a solution.

- Women enjoy planning a wedding. Men enjoy just getting it over with.

- Women know what to do when someone starts to cry. Men just shuffle out of the room, mumbling something about the grouting.

- Men can watch an entire movie without having to ask "who is that, and what did he do?"

- A man can choose and purchase - in 90 seconds - a pair of shoes.

- Women can remember every outfit they wore for the past decade. Men cannot remember what they wore yesterday without looking at the floor next to the bed.



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Using CrapCleaner to clean the registry 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, September 19, 2010

If you receive a postcard from a "s ecret admire r", trash it.
That virus is on the lose again. It infects unprotected machines,
and then on command they all go to a postcard site and start
sending cards like crazy robots on speed, telling the recipient to
subcribe at some dating site to see pictures of him or her.

Naturally, I stop that right suddenly, whenever I notice it,
and dump all those phony cards, and any further ones, that might
try to go through, amd I am working on a script to detect that
kind of activity even faster.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't." --- Mark Twain "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery He who is good at making excuses, is seldom good for anything else. --- Socratex
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?" Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out." "OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, ' Take fifty cents worth of ground beef '... "
An out-of-towner in New York decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ------------ He obviously needs to take lessons from a truck-stop waitress!
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
"That's real a beautiful fur coat," a friend remarked, "but don't you pity the poor beast who suffered so that you could have it?" The women replied, "Why are you suddenly worried about my husband?"
Thanks to Rita for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Picture I took in Maui of the Flash of Green in the sunset on Kamaole Beach III. Rita
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Victor Alfaro-Marquez, 35, of Selden, NY Impersonator pulls over a real detective SELDEN, N.Y. (AP) — A Long Island man faces impersonation charges after police said a driver he pulled over for a traffic stop turned out to be a legitimate detective. Suffolk County Police said 35-year-old Victor Alfaro-Marquez of Selden was arrested Monday night, hours after the attempted traffic stop. Detective William Zambito was driving home from work at about 4:30 a.m. when an unmarked car with flashing lights and sirens stopped him. When Zambito told Alfaro-Marquez he was an off-duty officer, police said Alfaro-Marquez fled the scene. Alfaro-Marquez was arrested at his home. Police recovered two badges, handcuffs, a pellet pistol in a holster and a Drug Enforcement Agency baseball hat and shirt. He was released on bail on a charge of criminal impersonation.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: Crap Cleaner to clean the Registry Good Evening Webby..... I found your explanation of the Registry the best I've read... good for you, not an easy task!!! I use the Registry cleaner in CrapCleaner...what are your thoughts about that product? Thanks for all you do.... Carol Dear Carol It is definitely better than nothing at all, and should keep things from getting out of control. However, you can't expect a little add-on, tacked onto a Freebie, to give your machine a performance boost, like you get with a big program, such as Registry Booster, that was written for just that purpose. Considering what you pay for CrapCleaner, it does very well, probably better than any other Freebie. If all you are concerned with is crash prevention, it is good enough. If you want a performance boost, then you need bigger ammo. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they finally stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the cute employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are . . . very slowly?" The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stretch Liquid Fabric Softener My favorite is Snuggle Jojoba Creme, but now without a coupon, it is getting harder to justify paying full price for it. I don't care much for the scent or softening of cheaper brands, and end up using more, so am not getting a good deal anyway. So I saved my last empty softener bottle, bought a new one, then poured half in the old bottle, and filled both up with tap water. The scent is just as good, and the softening is actually better---the towels don't feel as 'sticky' as they were before. I am sure that everyone else has thought of this already, but it just occurred to me, before I threw the last empty bottle away! (We have very little recycling abilities where I live). Source: Lightbulb went off in head! By fatboyslimsmom from Many, LA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Gene took his beat-up pickup truck to the insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection. The receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. Then she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Gene replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Gene. "Hmmm," she explained, "the computer won't accept Ford Fossil."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
This one is a re-run from a few years ago: Today I visited the Canadian Tire store (a chain store like Walmart, but with a football field size automotive section added to it) to get a bicycle pump. I was amazed and amused at the variety they had. Gone were the cheap little $1.95 telescoping pipe pumps that just clipped to the frame. Instead they had dozens of big bulky contraptions that looked like they needed a corner reserved for them in the garage. It totally escaped me why anybody would want a bicycle tire pump in bright designer colors matching the new fashionable bikes, but so big and awkward that there was no way you could take it along on normal a bike trip. Depending on the colors and the must-have logos on them, they cost between 3 and 15 times as much as a small electric air compressor in the automotive section. I decided that if it had to sit in the garage anyway, I might as well get a compressor that was useful for all kinds of other projects too. About then I noticed one of the store clerks, an elderly woman, and a priest discussing one of the bikes up on the second tier on the other side of the isle, and how to get it down. I was about to volunteer when she pulled out her phone, switched it to Public Address and announced in her sexiest and most mischievious voice: "I need somebody younger to help Father McCauley in the ADULT section, .........(long pause with heavy breathing)........ of the bicycles."

» Copycat Recipes





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JPG blemishes 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, September 18, 2010

Looks like Sarah Palin is having fun worrying the people who
backstabbed her or treated her as "not an insider", and she
seems to be making back the money she lost.

The Democrats are also getting quite concerned about her.
Personally, I doubt, that she will run for president or vice
president and read teleprompters written by others, when
she can say what she believes in and be a real nuisance
as a freelancer. And instead of being put into debt, now
she gets paid! Good for her!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going." --- Socratex We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people. --- Arthur Schopenhauer
So," Jane asked the detective she had hired, "did you trail my husband?" "Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile crossed Jane's face,"Aha!! Then I've got him!" she said, gloating. " Is there any doubt what he was doing?" "No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear, that he was following you and taking pictures for his web site."
A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their soup, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the wine had been enjoyed more than anticipated and a lot earlier than planned. So she jumped in the car and raced to the liquor store to get more and was in such a hurry on the way back that when she drove over the edge of the curb at the entrance or something near it, that she didn't even take the time to check what it was. Just before the maid was supposed to serve the main course, the maid again called the hostess to the kitchen. This time she told her that some time in the afternoon the cat had must have climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's midsection. The hostess decided to fill the eaten portion with some canned salmon and other camouflage. As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into the kitchen again, and announced while wringing her hands, "Madam, the cat is dead." The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs pumped. Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat. "It is still out on the driveway, where you ran over it on the way back from the liquor store."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Jeff went to the eye doctor. The receptionist asked him why he is there. Jeff complained, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Gille, 29 from St. Clair Shores, Michigan Intoxicated naked woman steals Covington cab According to a Covington Police spokesman, a cab driver picked up 29-year-old Jennifer Gille from a local motel, after she asked to be taken to an address off Harrison Avenue. Covington Police Capt. Jack West said that upon arrival at the address, the woman refused to exit the cab. Further complicating matters, the cab driver said the woman "began acting crazy," taking off her clothing and demanding the cab driver take her to Michigan. Instead of driving her to The Wolverine State, investigators say the cabbie drove her to the Covington Police department to try to get help removing her from the vehicle. When the driver went inside to get the assistance of police, cops say the naked woman jumped into the front seat of the cab and sped off. Police say she didn't get far; cops located the parked cab in a parking lot about a block from the police station, where the woman was again in the back seat, naked. Officers say after they forcibly removed the naked woman from the cab, they "pulled her dress on so she would be properly dressed," according to the police report. The woman was reportedly uncooperative during the booking process. Police say the cab driver was reunited with his cab and the naked woman was placed in St. Tammany Parish Jail. Officials say the woman is a resident of St. Clair Shores, Michigan. She faces charges of unauthorized use of a movable, and obscenity, for allegedly exposing herself to the cab driver in a sexual manner. The cab driver was apparently not charged for abandoning his cab with the key in it, and a nutcase in the back. He could have called 911, when he was in front of the police station.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Trevor Re: JPG blemishes Dear Webby I notice with most JPG pictures, that there are blemishes like seen through a wet window, especially along horizons, or other high contrast areas.I also noticed, that with the pictures, that you feature, there are very rarely any blemishes. How do you get rid of them? Trevor Dear Trevor When somebody increases JPG compression to get more pictures onto a camera chip, or to transfer them faster on a slow connection, all kinds of shortcuts are taken and quality is reduced.If the picture is then worked on, for example for resizing or cropping, and saved again, areas that had been identified as the same color during the initial compression, appear to have a faint guard halo or lasso around them, to prevent nearby colors from bleeding into those areas.It is those guard halos that produce the wet window effect near horizons or text. The solution is to use the least amount of compression, change to a non-destructive format like PSP, PSD, or PNG for working on the picture, and make converting it back to JPG the very last step before uploading or sending. If a picture has already been trashed down, after converting it to a safe format, select a bad area like for example the sky, and soften or blur it until those guard halos have disappeared. Then sharpen that still selected area to about original contrast. That won't make the halos re-appear. They have been averaged into nearby pixel groups. With a bit of practise, the whole operation goes quite fast. Fr example, today's featured picture, it took me about two minutes to get it to the condition it is in now. Without that, it would not have been good enough. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 10 nautical miles per hour: Knot-furlong 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton 1000 grams of wet pants: 1 literhosen 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche 10 rations: 1 decoration 100 rations: 1 C-ration 2 monograms: 1 diagram 100 Senators: 1 doze.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stretch Liquid Fabric Softener My favorite is Snuggle Jojoba Creme, but now without a coupon, it is getting harder to justify paying full price for it. I don't care much for the scent or softening of cheaper brands, and end up using more, so am not getting a good deal anyway. So I saved my last empty softener bottle, bought a new one, then poured half in the old bottle, and filled both up with tap water. The scent is just as good, and the softening is actually better---the towels don't feel as 'sticky' as they were before. I am sure that everyone else has thought of this already, but it just occurred to me, before I threw the last empty bottle away! (We have very little recycling abilities where I live). Source: Lightbulb went off in head! By fatboyslimsmom from Many, LA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When Little Johnny's family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked him how he liked the new place. "It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Billy has his own room, and Betty-Sue has her own room. WE can have fun! Only dad is still stuck with sharing a room with mom."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five."

» Vietnam





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How do I fix the registry? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, September 17, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

From Roberta
"I Know that you would give us Photo locations if they were given to you.
Thanks for all of them
I think this one is  Monastery of Agia Triada Meteora.

I pasted that into Google, and found the Sacred Destinations
They have that view and a few more of that monastery there.
Very interesting indeed!
Thanks Roberta!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. --- Elbert Hubbard A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. --- William James The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. --- Benjamin Disraeli
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Sandy was sitting in the doctor's office when the doctor came in and said, "Sandy, this isn't a urine sample you brought in. It's apple juice." "Oh my god" sandra said, "I've got to get to a phone." "Why?" asked the doctor. "I may have packed the other bottle in Michael's lunch box."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
Thanks to Robert for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version In the Canadian Rockies
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Sellers, 61,in Las Vegas, Nevada Man Steals Car With Owner Riding On Hood ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. -- An Orlando man is facing charges Monday morning after police said he sped off in a stolen car while the owner was still on the hood. Mazzard McMillian is charged with grand theft and attempted murder. Police said the car's owner saw McMillian stealing the car and jumped on the hood. McMillian took off and ended up hitting another vehicle at Orange Blossom Trail and West Central Boulevard, throwing the owner from the car. The victim was taken to the hospital and is expected to recover
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tracey Re: Registry fixer Dear Webby A good part of the junkmail I get is about programs to do something or other with the registry. I know that some of those are ransom ware and other malware, and I heard that most of them are just a waste of money. What IS the registry, why is it important, and why does it need to be fixed? Is there any one Registry program that you can recommend? Thanks Tracey Dear Tracey And I suppose you want me to answer that in less than thousand pages, right? At one time each program had a PIF, a Program Information File, where all the settings for that program were stored in simple text. As long as each program was in a reasonably well organized location, that worked very well and it was easy to change the settings for any program, if that was necessary. Apparently, that worked too well, so Microsoft changed things and put all tose PIFs into a central database, the Registry, that is no longer plain text and easy to maintain by the user. Instead it is hidden in a database, that can be accessed easily from far away by a Systems Administrator, hacker or accident. System administrators and hackers of course love it, but for the average user, the Registry is a pain in the nuisance. To run faster, Windows pulls program parts and data into RAM, so it changes the Registry settings accordingly. It marks down where those things can now be found. When the RAM gets full, or when a program gets minimized to the task bar or covered up, it parks that stuff in virtual RAM on the hard drive. It doesn't put it back where it got that stuff, but somewhere else, and marks in the Registry where it can now be found. In theory, that Chinese fire drill is supposed to be cleaned up, when that program is closed. When a program stalls or crashes, those messy entries stay in the registry. Even when a program just hesitates too long, for example if IE is waiting for a response from a site and locks up, then a few minutes later miraculously continues, there is abandoned data in the Registry. Naturally, that mess slows everything down, and there is a real need for a program to clean it up. A few programs like the Registry Booster do a good job of it, but there are lot of scammers out there who try to take advantage of that need. Some of the other registry programs infect your computer with hard to get rid of ransom-ware, and some simply don't do much useful work. If you have the time, use a machine, that you don't mind formatting, if it gets infected too badly, and repeat my testing and comparing. Or you can go with my recommendtion and use Registry Booster. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Salad Bar Garden Bed My husband is in the construction business. One day he brought this old salad display home. It is the large kind you see at buffets. It has a sneeze guard on the top. I put it on my back porch and planted herbs in it. There is more than ample room for the soil and it even has a drain hole if the herbs get too much rain. Underneath are cabinets to store my gardening tools and seeds. You can pick these up from restaurants that are being remodeled. They will give them to you. I love mine. By Eveh from Gulf Coast http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art and the best I could find." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the army. "But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" The man shrugged, "So far, none of them complained."

» Amazon River





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From where is that pictrue? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 16, 2010

Today a client asked me a PayPal question, that I could not 
answer. I searched their site. All the obvious and common sense
stuff is explained in great gory detail, but nothing about his
question, which was about a third account or a diferently
configured sub-account.

So I tried emailing their support. That did not work. Their
email module is mis-configured.

Next I tried calling them. In case you need the well hidden 
top secret support number, it is:  +18882211161

Naturally, you get some insane voice menu asking totally
irrelevant questions, so I gave it totally irrelevant answers.
Instead of giving it the last four digits of my Social Security
Number, which we Canadians don't have, I made remarks
about the ancestry of the idiot who designed that voice menu.
That almost broke me out of it. 

Then I remembered that somebody told me the best way to 
break out of a voice menu is to "THUNDER 
'O P E R A T O R!!!'. "
So I took a deep breath and I THUNDERED.

Lights next door came on, and the lights in the gym across
the soccer field went off.
And the voice menu went off, to be replaced with the muffled
voice of a timid, softspoken girl with a very strong Taliban 
accent.

I told her that their email rigmarole does not work. She tried
to guide me step by step through it. I told her to try it,
politely at first, a few times. Eventually I resorted to 
THUNDERING: 
"T R Y I T !!!"

Lights in the house next door went off, and the lights in the gym 
came back on.

Three minute pause. Then she came back even more muffled
and more softspoken, as if she had added another veil to protect
her from this infidel, and said that she will report it.
I asked her how? Email them?

That obviouly did not make her day. Eventually she meekly 
replied that "she knows somebody, who whisper whisper whisper."

So finally we got to my client's question about a sub-account
that uses the same bank information, but has different settings.
Well, that was way over her head and explaining it seven times 
did not help. How about a third account?
(I know that officially you are not supposed to have more than 
two accounts.)

Oh yes, she said, he can have a third account. Just use 
different email address and different bank. And that she was
going to send me the information by email.

Yeah right. I think I want fries with that.
That never arrived. The fries didn't either.

In summary, PayPal works great, their support doesn't.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"A champion owes everybody something. He can never pay back for all the help he got, for making him an idol." --- Jack Dempsey (1895-1983) US boxer
Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
The night before her wedding, Wendy talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know all about sex, mother," Wendy interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a decent lasagna."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Richard Sellers, 61,in Las Vegas, Nevada Man claimed defibrillator was bomb LAS VEGAS (UPI) -- Las Vegas authorities said they arrested a man who walked into a casino with a defibrillator strapped to his person, claiming it was a bomb. Police said Richard Sellers, 61, had the defibrillator vest strapped to his chest when he entered Arizona Charlie's at 9:49 a.m. Saturday and told a security supervisor the item was a bomb, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported. "Someone put this on me and said if he didn't win $1,000 in five minutes he was going to blow up the casino," police quoted Sellers as telling the security supervisor. Sellers eventually admitted the vest was not dangerous after a 2-hour standoff with a SWAT unit, police said. He told officers he worked alone. The suspect was booked at the Clark County Detention Center on suspicion of felony making a terroristic threat in addition to extortion and burglary charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: many Re: Where was that picture taken? Dear Webby Where was that picture taken? Dear When I know that information, I include it. But I won't hold back a good picture, just because I don't know the location. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
At the grocery store I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children, and I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case and was showing off a rather scary balancing act. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Blueprint Storage Box For Fabric Rolls Most of the fabric I purchase is on bolts that are 54 inches long and difficult to store. I found a cardboard blueprint storage box at Staples and now all my bolts are stored on end. They stay neat, don't fall all over the place and I can easily view the fabrics. By Gon2oahu from Victoria, B.C. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her: "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Four dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, four dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."

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Newsletter mising frm Gmail 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Thank you for all your responses about the side menu.
The overwhelming majority wants to keep the links I got there now.
At the same time, it appears that Google has fixed their problem,
so I will leave the side menu as it is.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." ---Sam Levenson "Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen, let adversity teach him." --- Ethiopian Proverb
A granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with Nancy, and she decided to teach her to sew. After she had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, the granddaughter stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief: "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?"
A Guy and his wife are riding two up on a bike along a twisty road with a 55MPH limit. A cop pulls them over. "Had you going about 70 in 55 back there," says the cop. "Not me," says the guy, "Could be your radar picked up someone else or something, but my speedometer was set right on 55." The wife pipes up, "You were to going 70. I've told you 20 miles back you were going to get stopped if you didn't slow down." "Quiet please!" mumbles the guy. "Can I see your proof of insurance?" asks the cop. "Sure, my card is right here in my wallet." The wife says, "That card's no good and you know it. You haven't paid the last premium and the company sent you a cancellation notice." "Damn," yells the guy. "Would you shut up for a minute?" "Ma'am," says the cop. "Does this guy always talk to you like this?" "Only when he's been drinking."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I ran into his wheelchair with the car."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Adam Segura, 32, in Greeley, Colorado Suspect attempts escape -- in police car GREELEY, Colo. (UPI) -- Police in Colorado say a man arrested and handcuffed after being stopped for drunken driving tried to escape in the police car of the officer who stopped him. Adam Segura, 32, was recaptured after a chase lasting about a mile, The Greeley (Colo.) Tribune reported Sunday. Segura had been pulled over near Greeley for speeding, and the police officer allegedly noticed alcohol on his breath and slurred speech. Segura was cuffed with his hands behind his back and placed in the back seat of the unmarked patrol car. As the officer, along with a backup patrolman, questioned a woman passenger in Segura's car, Segura allegedly managed to get the handcuffs in front of him, climbed into the patrol car's front seat and drove away, the newspaper said. As the officers pursued in the backup car, Segura stopped after about a mile near the entrance to the Greeley Mall and surrendered. He faces multiple charges, including aggravated vehicle theft, escape, resisting arrest -- and two counts of DUI, one in his own car, and one in the police car, that he had stolen.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joanne Re: What is the Webby Letter ? Dear Webby Where is my Webby letter every day? I miss it! Joanne Dear Joanne Most likely in your spam folder. Just make a filter in Gmail, so that mail FROM humor@webby.com is never put into SPAM. Have FUN! DearWebby
Last chance. Tomorrow this deal comes down. Earn commissions with Zero Cost!! (once you know how). This know-how course is not free, but with what you learn in it, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get "Zero Cost" now!!
Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis. It was the hardest spelling test he ever took.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Blueprint Storage Box For Fabric Rolls Most of the fabric I purchase is on bolts that are 54 inches long and difficult to store. I found a cardboard blueprint storage box at Staples and now all my bolts are stored on end. They stay neat, don't fall all over the place and I can easily view the fabrics. By Gon2oahu from Victoria, B.C. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress there. All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in. They observed the connection between the waitress and the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive remarks trying to get the trucker to start something. But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill and walked out. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like your boyfriend ain't much of a man." The waitress just leaned on the cash register and looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over three bikes out there."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

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What is a "spa product" ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Some Gmail or browser add-ons seem to be causing formatting 
problems for some people. I didn't notice any problems in the
Humor Letter that I send to my gmail test address, but most likely
I am not using certain fashionable add-ons. At any rate, I am
simplifying the lay-out and we'll see if that helps.

I also plan to weed out the ads on the side. Yeah, I know, 
a buch of you are going to scream and yell and demand that
I leave the "Find A Human", Currency Exchange, Babelfish,
Breast Cancer Help Site, and this and that in there.

OK, tell me what you definitely want to keep!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. --- John Stuart Mill Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. --- Floyd Dell
Patient: "Nurse, during my operation I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much." Nurse: "What word was that?" Patient: "Oops!"
4 year old Zachary came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mom that he had dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So she fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to moms bathroom and came out with her toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet last week."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Teacher: If your father earned $100.00 and gave half to your mother, what would she have? Little Johnny: A heart attack!
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Larry Shawn Taylor, 18, ins Seattle, WA Suspect had 'GET MONEY' shaved in hair and tattoed on hands SEATTLE (UPI) -- Police in Seattle said they arrested a robbery suspect who was easily identified by the words "GET MONEY" shaved into the side of his head. Investigators said Larry Shawn Taylor, 18, robbed two women of $310 at gunpoint Aug. 23 while they were stopped at a traffic light, Seattlepi.com reported. The women described the robber to police as a black man with deformed or folded-down ears, the words "GET MONEY" shaved into one side of his head and tattoos with the word "GET" on one hand and "MONEY" on the other. Police said Taylor was recognized by an officer who pulled over a Toyota Camry for reckless driving. The officer had previously stopped Taylor several times and said another officer had written him a ticket. Investigators said a gun was found in the vehicle and the victims identified Taylor as the robber. Taylor was charged with robbery and jailed in lieu of $100,000 bond. He is due in court Sept. 13.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: many Re: What is a "Spa Product" ? Dear I was surprised at how many people asked that question. Spa products are basically anything (except your sweetie), that can be used to make a bath more enjoyable. Fragrances, oils, salts, herbs, dried fowers, colorants, and so on. Some combinations work very well, some others cause embarrasing results. Knowing what works well and what doesn't seems to be more an art than a science, but is definitely learnable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Last chance. Tomorrow this deal comes down. Earn commissions with Zero Cost!! (once you know how). This know-how course is not free, but with what you learn in it, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get "Zero Cost" now!!
News Item: An Oregon State University animal rights activist denounces vegetarianism because mice, moles and rabbits are often killed in the preparation of farmland to grow vegetables.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Restaurant Supply Stores A restaurant supply store is different than a warehouse-type store like Costco. The one I shop at is called Cash and Carry. These allow anyone to purchase without a card. The difference with restaurant supply is that they cater to restaurant owners, which means they will have bulk of vegetables, dairy, baking supplies, cleaning/serving supplies, and some other things. Most of their prices usually beat any other store (like 50 lbs of potatoes for $8). We dry most of our own food, so buying bulk vegetables (like 2.5 lbs of spinach) is wonderful. I highly recommend searching for one in your area. Buying bulk on what you can store will save you a lot. By Davidicdancer from Spokane, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Recently on a West Coast commuter flight a flight attendant announced, "As per federal regulations every 500th landing has to be a manual landing, not on auto-pilot. Our new co-pilot will be performing his first manual landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop." Well, the plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard a few times times before smoothing out. Still, the passengers applauded. Then the attendant's voice came over the intercom, "Thanks for flying with us. And don't forget to let our co-pilot know which of his three landings you liked best."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two cowboys were scouting near their fort and worrying that the Indians might be overrunning them. As they listened to the distant pounding war drums, one cowboy muttered to the other: "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, an apologetic voice came from behind a bush, "Our regular drummer slept in!"

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Are e-course claims too good to be true? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, September 13, 2010

Quite a few readers asked about that Chinook Arch in yesterday's
picture. That arch reaches from the Trans Canada Highway all
along the eastern side of the Rockies down into Montana. When 
people see the arch,  they know it's time to gather up any loose
stuff, because it is going to get windy shortly. 
Chinook is on the way!

The Chinook starts out in the South Sea Islands, loads up with 
water, goes over Hawaii and heats up, picks up more water on
the way to the mainland. There it dumps it onto the rain forests
in Washington and BC, and winds up quite dry when it goes
ove the top of the Rockies. Also quite warm from absorbing
all the condensation calories. 

Because air flows like to follow contours, part of it then dives 
down to the foothills. There it picks up moisture, dries the 
grain and the hay, and bounces back up high, hitting cool air 
and forms the arch. The part of the Chinook, that did not dive,
blows the clouds eastward across the prairies, but because 
there is always fresh air bouncing up from the foothills, the
arch appears to be a stationary fixture, where the clouds are 
created and dispatched eastward.

On the ground, the Chinook is a warm, dry wind that picks up 
the leaves in the fall and hauls them eastward. In some areas,
like Pincher Creek, where the big windmill farms are, it often
reaches hurricane speeds and knocks over semis and RVs.
Car ports are not a good idea in this area.

Glider pilots love the Chinook and they ride the elevators,
where it bounces up from the foothills, then surf the crest.
They soar at altitudes where they need oxygen for hours
and only dive down when their oxygen bottles run empty.

After the chinook travels across a few thousand miles of
prairie it has loaded up with moisture again, and people in
the East call it "The Albertan". When it mixes with cold air
from the Atlantic and the Great Lakes, it dumps onto Toronto
and Chicago. If you see the arch here, don't go to those 
places!

From there occasionally it travels south and brings cool air
down to Florida.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. --- Arthur Koestler
A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits."
While John and Jill were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short form-fitting dress strolled by... Johns eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item Jill was examining, Jill asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?"
Make Spa Products for fun and profit This is not a frantic 20 hour a day Millionaire maker! It is an e-course for a no-stress hobby, that will generate a steady income and does not require a lot of time. You don't need a lab, your kitchen table will do just fine. Yes, you CAN Make Spa Products for fun and profit

The District Attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict. Bitterly he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?" The foreman answered, "Insanity." The D.A. said, "All twelve of you?"
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Liquid money! When this water drives a turbine after dropping 6000 feet down through a strong steel pipeline, it makes more than it's weight in paper money.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Jose Parada, 23 in Pico Rivera, California Burglar found after fall through ceiling PICO RIVERA, Calif. (AP) - A man fell through the ceiling of a Pico Rivera shop on Saturday, landing in the arms of sheriff's deputies who were searching for the suspected burglar of three businesses. The Whittier Daily News reports that 23-year-old Jose Parada has been booked on suspicion of burglary after Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies responded to a burglar alarm at William's Boots at 7 a.m. County sheriff Sgt. Debbie Gallego says a responding deputy saw someone inside nearby De La Cruz Jewelry, and called in a K-9 unit for a search. Deputies sprayed pepper spray in the attic of the store shortly before Parada fell through the ceiling. A nearby antique store was also burglarized. Parada is being held in lieu of $20,5000 bail. His arraignment is scheduled for Tuesday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: DJ Re: E-Course too good to be true? Dear Webby, have you checked out "get zero cost "? is it legit. it has that to good to be true ring to it Dear DJ He tells you off the bat, that YOU probably won't make that much a month, not initially, for sure, and quite possibly not ever. It is the same as when, for example, somebody buys a golf book by Arnold Palmer. It would not be realistic to expect them to win a bunch of international tournaments in a year, but quite likely, with what they learn, they will beat their boss and their neighbor in the very near future. The more of the lessons from that book, that you implement and actually use, the closer you will get to what he makes. It is not a magic pill, that does it all for you, without your participation. You have to actually DO what you learn. If you only make $500 every month with what you actually do, it may be pathetic compared to what that guy makes now, but it is $500 more than you would make without reading his lessons and implementing at least some little bit of what you learn. Even if you don't get serious and just read it for entertainment, some information will stick, and if nothing else, will help you avoid some mistakes. That alone will be worth a lot more than the cost of the book. Have FUN! DearWebby
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Old Scrubbies to Clean the Tub Save those worn out scrubbies used with liquid bath soap, and use them to clean your tub and surround. They are great to scrub off soap scum and hold enough water to rinse the walls of the tub surround effectively. By TxTiket2Ride2 from Fort Worth, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your silly train!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.

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Invisible page counters 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Russian Government, unlike the governments of the Euro Block,
uses Microsoft software. Dissident groups in Russia generally use
pirated software. On the black market, you can buy any software
for US$ 5 per CD. (The black market is still strictly US dollars only.)

Many of those dissident groups could afford legitimate software
or use free Linux and Open Source software, but it is tradition
there, and it has a revolutionary flair to use pirated software.

Now Microsoft is siding with their big customer, the Russian
Government, and helping them to go after the dissidents.
According to the Moscow Helsinki Group, a Human Rights
watchdog organization, Microsoft is too cozy with the Russian
Government and too slow with admitting that any software
is legitimate. 

To me, that sems to be a very shortsighted move. Any dissident
group, that has their computers confiscated in surprise raids,
and loses not only all their data, but has members jailed,
will naturally move away from Microsoft, and use Linux and
strong encryption. It does not in the least encourage them
to buy Microsoft products, since Microsoft won't lift a finger
to defend them anyway.

Sure, Microsoft is not making any money, when young people
use pirated software. But when those people get older and
more affluent, they usually buy the software, that they are 
used to. A cracked Microsoft Office to them is like trial ware.
They know, that some day they will have to buy a legitimate
version.

That does not apply to the young people, who are forced to
switch to Linux and Open Source software. They will all be
used to that, and never tempted to buy Microsoft products.

IBM was instrumental in breaking up the Soviet Union, when
they donated Millions of unsellable PS2-286 computers to
the Soviet Union, wrote them off as a tax deduction, and
listed them in their sales figures. In the Soviet Union, those
PS2-286 pizza boxes allowed the people to get around the
brutally strict printed paper transport bans and just print 
pamphlets and brochures locally off easily transported floppies.

IBM created a lot of good will and a lot of future business
with that smart move. Microoft is doing the opposite.

Expect a lot of good Linux software to come out of Russia
in the next ten years!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway. --- Clyde B. Aster There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it. --- Denis Diderot "An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." --- Evan Esar
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?" "I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide announcements, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a timid female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys and need assistance."
Make Spa Products for fun and profit This is not a frantic 20 hour a day Millionaire maker! It is an e-course for a no-stress hobby, that will generate a steady income and does not require a lot of time. You don't need a lab, your kitchen table will do just fine. Yes, you CAN Make Spa Products for fun and profit

The first time I heard the following joke, it was told to me about 15 years ago by Danny, a carpet layer. Knowing what he smoked, I actually believed him. According to his story, Danny had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt. While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the room. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my gerbil."
Click on the picture for the Large Version Chinook Arch from my window 7:30 yesterday morning.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to a couple in Tacoma, Washington Couple ws burned while siphoning gas A woman was burned Wednesday night while trying to siphon gas from a Salvation Army van, Tacoma police said. Paramedics took the 20-year-old woman to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle for treatment, police spokesman Mark Fulghum said. A witness called police shortly after 10:30 p.m. Wednesday after seeing a man and a woman trying to siphon gas from a Salvation Army van parked in a church parking lot at 1110 Puget Sound Ave. The witness walked over to get a better view and startled the two, Fulghum said. “Moments later, fire erupted,” Fulghum said. The van, a nearby vehicle and the two would-be gas thieves caught fire. The woman ran toward the witness, who told her to drop and roll. The woman didn’t comply, and the witness used a garden hose to douse the flames, Fulghum said. The man was able to extinguish his flames. He and stayed for a short time and talked to witnesses, but fled before police arrived, Fulghum said. Tacoma firefighters put out the remaining flames, which damaged the van and nearby vehicle. Paramedics took the woman to Harborview. A Tacoma police officer went to the hospital but was unable to talk to the woman, Fulghum said. Her injuries were not considered life-threatening. The woman could face charges related to the gas theft and fire when released from the hospital, Fulghum said. What caused the fire is under investigation, he said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rolly Re: Page Counters Dear Webby, I want to put a plain text visitor counter on my page, like the one on Ophelia's site, but until it reaches respectable numbers, I don't want it visible to the public, just to me, if necessary with a hot key or something. How is that done? Rolly Dear Rolly If you use a plain text counter, then you can set the font color. Simply set the font color the same as the page background. When you hit CTRL A or wipe the mouse over that spot, the numbers become visible. You have to hold down the left mouse key for wiping. By the way, don't worry too much about the numbers showing. Most sites reset their counters back to zero, whenever the numbers get too big for comfort. The total number of visits since the stone age is not really important. What counts is showing at a glance how many people visited that day. Have FUN! DearWebby
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. That will be $100. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith: "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Old Scrubbies to Clean the Tub Save those worn out scrubbies used with liquid bath soap, and use them to clean your tub and surround. They are great to scrub off soap scum and hold enough water to rinse the walls of the tub surround effectively. By TxTiket2Ride2 from Fort Worth, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes. Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'"

» Whale Tails





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Distorted perspective 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, September 11, 2010

Nine years ago today, the world changed.
Don't worry, I am not going to get maudling and philosophical on
you. Instead, I will observe a moment of silence.






Have FUN!
DearWebby

"You don't get ulcers from what you eat. You get them from what's eating you." --- Vicki Baum Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. --- Ken Hakuta
Thanks to Roland for this story: Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who live in our community. In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age, people are asked questions that give a snapshot of their personalities. Recently one woman was asked, "What's the strangest thing you ever bought?" She answered, "Dog toothpaste." Next question: "What is the most common thing people say to you?" Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?"
Church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and Florence agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, Florence replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm."
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife."
Click on the picture for the Large Version Before 911
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Darius McCollum, NY, NY Bus thief arrested for 27th time NEW YORK (UPI) -- A New York man with a history of impersonating transit workers and joyriding in subway trains allegedly stole a bus in New Jersey, police said. Investigators said Darius McCollum, who has been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and has extensive knowledge of Metropolitan Transportation Authority procedures, entered an unsecured bus depot in Hoboken early Tuesday and stole a Trailways coach that had been parked with the keys still inside, the New York Post reported. Police tracked the bus using its satellite global-positioning system and pulled it over at 9 a.m. EDT in New York. A police report said the suspect acted "like a gentleman" toward officers. McCollum was charged with grand larceny and possession of stolen property. He has previously been arrested 27 times during the past three decades, often for stealing subway trains, the report said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kathy Re: Distorted perspective in pictures Dear Webby, I noticed that with my new, and much lighter, camera, I often get pictures of buildings that appear to lean. My old camera may have done it too, but I never noticed it as much as I do now. Is there a way to correct that distorted perspective, or is that actually important? My pictures are just for fun and memories. Kathy Dear Kathy You are just getting too critical of yourself. For fun memory pictures the distortion is not only quite acceptable, but can be an extra source of enjoyment. The distortion actually emphasizes the emotions of the location. For example, if you take a picture of a building at the end of a long, narrow street, the buildings on the side appear to be looming or leaning in, quite like what YOU felt at the time. A painter, who paints the scene with perfectly perpendicular houses, would not be able to convey the emotions of the time and place, like you do with your pictures. For fun and memories pictures, consider it a bonus feature! If you were to take the pictures for an architectural project, where everything is supposed to look perfectly perpendicular, then you would have to stand way back and use big expensive telescope lenses, the opposite of wide-angle lenses. You CAN cheat a bit by standing farther back, rest the camera on something, and take the shot with maximum zoom at the highest resolution the camera can handle. Then, if the picture is for example 4000 x 3000 pixels, crop it down to 800 x 600. In that center portion there will be very little distortion, and if the camera was perfectly steady during the shot, the picture will be sharp enough to safely enlarge it to 1024 x 768, without getting fuzzy. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Wouldn't it be nice to tell the principal of your college or highschool what you REALLY think about him/her? Well,... if you like YOUR principal as much as Jim liked HIS principal, then you'd better keep your mouth shut. Jim knew he'd get kicked out of the college if he expressed his true feelings, so he remained silent for the last four years. But yesterday was his graduation. And as he walked across the stage, the principal handed his diploma scroll to him (nicely rolled up and tied with a ribbon). Once she handed it to Jim, he thought he could finally tell that @#$& what he REALLY thought about her. So he leaned across her podium and looked her straight in the eye. "You dumb twit," he said. "You're so darn ugly,... you could practice birth control by just leaving the lights on!" And then he walked off the stage, and went home. Today, he finally unwrapped his diploma scroll, framed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly proclaims to the world: "In order to receive your diploma, please present this certificate to the principal of your college after final grades have been posted!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Donate School Clothes to the Schools With school starting I wondered if there were children in need of clothing, especially middle and high school age. A lot of kids this age would be too proud to ask for help, and embarrassed not to have new clothes. Guidance counselors at schools usually would know of those in need. Call ahead to check to donate good clean clothing. If the school doesn't mind helping distribute to those in need, the kids can pick out their sizes and keep their dignity. By Peggy from Cortland, OH http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Why did the Newfie businessman go fishing instead of attending a meeting? "Just for the halibut."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you have to do" she told her class, is this: two steps forward, three steps back, then side-step, side-step, turn around"

» 1000 Skies





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HP computer from eBay 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, September 10, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

A few days ago I noticed, that most web pages showed some 
symbols covered with the question mark on a blue diamond.
For example, the copyright symbol, some French characters, 
and even the little Chevron that I traditionally put in front of
Dianne's bonus link. At first I figured that I probably had too
many tabs going or not rebooted for too many weeks, but then
oher people reported the same thing. When Céline, the very
competent and skilled webmaster from MonCoinDeJardin
complained about it, and that she had to fix a work-around,
I filed a bug report with FireFox. Hopefully they will have
that corrected in the next update.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. --- Mark Twain As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible
A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause, the doctor confessed, "Well, yes, but never with a carnation."
During a rather heated argument a teenager said, "I didn't ask to be born." His father: replied, "Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have been 'NO!!!'."
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6 year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know." The boy thought about that, then said, "Well, listening ain't easy, either."
Thanks to Moe for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Sherin Brown, 23, Brooklyn, NY Injury faker caught on tape, arrested NEW YORK (UPI) -- A New York City woman has been arrested for allegedly faking an injury after a light pole knocked down by a truck missed her, police said. Sherin Brown, 23, was walking on a Brooklyn borough street Friday when an out-of-control truck hit the pole, which fell but did not hit Brown, the New York Post reported Sunday. As police responded to the accident scene, a surveillance camera allegedly caught Brown, unharmed, lying down on the ground near the felled light fixture and telling responding officers she was injured, the newspaper said. Taken to a hospital for examination, she was arrested after police viewed the surveillance tape. Brown faces a Class A misdemeanor charge for falsely reporting an emergency, the Post said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jan Re: HP computer from eBay Dear Webby, ,enjoy reading your letters ,you are the first one I open. I am thinking about getting a new computer and I saw this one on ebay. HP DC7900 E8400 3GHz 160 GB DVDRW has Vista/Business /XP PRO Aw412VS, 3 year on site warrenty for $748. free shipping.What is your opinion. Thanks Jan Dear Jan If the 3 year ON SITE warranty is transferable to you, and you can get it with XP installed, it would be a good deal. Check out the warranty situation with HP, and how much actual warranty is left on that machine. That will give you a good idea about whether you want to depend on them. Have FUN! DearWebby Fixed the link. It works now.
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

At the candy store Judi had about 20 bags of candy. A smart-alek behind her in line told her: "You should push the air out of them. The candies might cost less if they don't have the weight of the air in them." So for a few minutes she let the air out of the bags. After she did that he told her it didn't really matter. It would have weighed the same. Judi was more confused than ever and said, "If having air in the bag doesn't weigh any more, then why does it make the bags look so fat?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create a Colorful Garden Remove old worn out evergreen shrubs from your garden beds. Plant a few variegated shrubs, hostas, a few zebra grasses and add a few interesting rocks to create a brand new colorful garden bed. By Grayce from Toronto, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted to heaven. St. Peter asks the first man his name, where he is from, and what he did in life. The man answers that he is John Smith and that he was a taxi driver in New York City. St. Peter looks through his book, then gives the man a luxurious silken robe and a golden staff, and bids him welcome into heaven for his eternal reward. St. Peter then asks the second man the same questions. He replies that his name is Thomas O'Malley, and that he was a priest in Chicago. St. Peter looks in his book, then gives him a used t-shirt and a wooden stick, and bids him to enter into heaven for his eternal reward. Father O'Malley says, Wait a minute! Why did that taxi driver get a silken robe and golden staff while I, a priest and a man of God, got a lousy t-shirt that won't even cover my butt, and a wooden stick? St. Peter told him that the rewards in heaven are based on results, and while Father O'Malley preached, people slept, but while John Smith drove, people prayed!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
It was young Anthony's first ride in a railway train, and the succession of wonders reduced him to a state of hysterical astonishment. The train rounded a slight bend and, with a shriek of its whistle, plunged into a tunnel. There were gasps of surprise from the corner where Anthony was kneeling on his seat. Suddenly the train rushed into broad daylight again, and a small voice lifted in wonder. "Wow! It's tomorrow!" exclaimed the small boy.

» Airline Food





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XP onto a new W7 E-Machine 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 9, 2010
Neil,  long time subscriber, told me about some excellent PDF 
form filling software: Tracker. PDF Xchange. I have to admit, 
after testing so many of those programs, I was a very skeptical.
So I downloaded the free version and used it to fill out some forms, 
that had been sent to me in PDF format.

Between the first and the second form Neil told me via Skype
how to set the default font, and saved me from having to read 
the instructions. 

All the rest was quite straightforward and common sense. 
I finished those three forms, including pasting my signature 
onto them, almost as fast as I could have done it with a pen. 

When I was done, I realized that I had used maybe 2% of 
the tools available in the free version. 
Scary to contemplate what all is lurking in the paid version!
For right now, though, I am quite happy with the free version.
Thank you,Neil!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled." --- Sir Barnett Cocks "Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work." --- Laurence J. Peter "You'll find no park or city with a monument to a committee." --- Victoria Pasternak
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported."
We stopped for a quick meal and the waiter brought us each a bowl of soup. As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen, Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!" "Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?" "The soup. Taste it," replied Pa. "I beg your pardon, Sir?" "Taste it." "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent." "Taste it," Pa persisted. "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients." "Taste it!" The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, Sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?" To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... "
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged as he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks of ten years older because of your wisdom."
Thanks to my dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version He was on the Mainau island on lake Constance at some flower and garden show, and did not realize how reflective that glass was.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Janice Shields, 58, in Charlotte, NC Naked woman breaks into school after beating up husband CHARLOTTE, NC (WBTV) - A nude woman who was found inside a school in Charlotte early Monday morning is now facing charges after police say she assaulted her husband. Police found out about the incident after responding to a breaking and entering call around 4 a.m. at Jay M. Robinson Middle School, which is located at 5925 Ballantyne Commons Parkway. According to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department, Janice Shields, 58, told cops she went to a party with her husband and later found herself waking up naked in the school. Police said Shields "has a bad case of selective memory" and was not forthcoming with the details which resulted in her being found naked at the school. Cops later interviewed Shields' husband and learned that he was injured by her. He said they pulled over in front of the school early Monday morning and got into a verbal disagreement. The woman allegedly punched her husband in the face breaking his nose and causing injury to his eye. Police said she then jumped out of the truck and walked away naked. They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms. When police arrived at the school, they called paramedics. Shields was taken to Carolinas Medical Center-Pineville where she was treated for minor abrasions on her hand. She was then taken to the Mecklenburg County Jail. She has been charged with domestic assault, and breaking and entering.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hank Re: XP onto new E-Machine Dear Webby, I have changed my ISP. My new address is: .......... Also I have a question. My old PC died. I bought a new fast E-Machine with windows 7. It has lots of RAM and hard drive space. I have an installation disc from my old machine which is Windows XP. Can I install it in my new PC without doing harm and get back into XP? Thanks, Hank Dear Hank If you have the complete XP Set-Up CD, not just a restoration CD, it should work fine. You may have to download a few XP drivers for sound cards and other components, that were not available yet at the time that CD was made, but since they do sell that machine also with Windows 7 PRO or Ultimate, which you can get with XP Pre-Installed, the company DOES have those XP drivers. Have FUN! DearWebby Fixed the link. It works now.
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

A Doctor was explaining to a friend how nature sometimes compensates for a persons deficiencies. "For example," he told him, "If a man is deaf, he may have keener sight, and if a man is blind, he may have a keen sense of smell." "I think I see what you mean," said Paddy, "I've often noticed that if a man has one short leg, then the other one is always longer."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create a Colorful Garden Remove old worn out evergreen shrubs from your garden beds. Plant a few variegated shrubs, hostas, a few zebra grasses and add a few interesting rocks to create a brand new colorful garden bed. By Grayce from Toronto, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Jon, Brian, and Bernie were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Jon won the first prize: a whole year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Brian won the second prize: six month's supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. Bernie won the sixth prize: a toilet brush. When they met in the pub a week later, Bernie asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes. "Great," said Jon. "I love spaghetti." "So do I," said Brian. "And how's the toilet brush, Bernie?" "Not so good," Bernie confided. "I'm going to have to go back to paper."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no attempt to restrain her four-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." "Nah," said the doctor calmly, "That's just poisons in there. They take some time but are quite effective. He'll be quiet soon."

» Tour of Chocolate





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How safe is Skype? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 8, 2010

We got the RAID (automatic simultaneous instant back-up) system 
disconnected on one more server today, and converted to 
intelligent back-up. With today's drives the reason for back-ups
is not bearing failure or any other mechanical failure. What we
worry about is attacks or user errors. A RAID system just copies
those problems instantly to the back-up drive, faster than anybody
can stop it. I consider that rather dumb.

So, even though that is standard, we are converting to intelligent
back-up, where we check first if everything is OK, and THEN
back up to the next hard drive. We are planning to use multiple
sets for odd and even days, so that people can revert to an
earlier version, if they got too carried away with their editing.

Learned something new today. You can't just issue a command
to stop the simultaneous back-up to the RAID drive. 
The RAID drive has to be physically disconnected, then the
prime drive has to be formatted and a NO-RAID Operating system
installed and set up, and then, finally, the former RAID drive is 
reconnected, and you can start transferring the files back onto
the prime drive.
 
That caused a lot more downtime than I had expected, and a
lot of unhappy phone calls. Sure is not boring around here!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"The best time to plant a tree, was twenty years ago. The second best time, is today." --- Socratex
One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and found out the cost was $200 one-way. Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100. Well during the flight, he was talking with the passenger seated next to him. And, in the course of their little chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear that part of the conversation and remembered from the passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him. Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive in Boston.. Why you ask?" Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this used parachute." Jean-Claude, "What for?" Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over 18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave now."
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ------- Yeah, I remember that train. It had little porches at each end of the wagons and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train is in motion is not permitted." Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the flower pickers passed the train
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The other night, Joe and his wife were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush, lipstick, and then turned to me and a dozen other mysterious concoctions, and then asked: "Does this look natural?"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Michael Wiles, 29, in Melbourne, Australia Grill-wearing motorcyclist fined $800 MELBOURNE (UPI) -- An Australian man photographed riding his motorcycle with a barbecue strapped to his body was fined $800 for careless driving. Michael Wiles, 29, who pleaded guilty Wednesday in Melbourne Magistrates Court, said he was carrying the barbecue while riding on the freeway in January 2008 because he had found it at the side of the road and wanted to take it home, the Melbourne Herald-Sun reported. Authorities said Wiles's vision was partially obscured by the steel grate of the barbecue. Besides the fine, Wiles had his license revoked for one month.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Amanda Re: How safe is Skype? Dear Webby, My daughter wants me to install Skype. How safe is that? Amanda Dear Amanda Skype is quite safe, if it is used with common sense. Don't set it to acept messages or calls from strangers, set it so that you have to approve them first. That way you can limit your contact list to just the people you know and trust. Once you have it installed, your daughter can send you a request for approval, and you can add it to your contact list. After you do that, the two of you can chat with text, and also with voice and even video, if you have a camera set up. I have used Skype to call my dad at his breakfast time, my midnight, every day for many years, and I also use Skype to provide tech support to our clients. I can highly recommend it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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On the way to preschool, a friend of mine had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Wowcome to McDonals. Do you want fwies wif that?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Scan Bulky Items for Your Scrapbook If you don't want to put bulky items in your scrapbook, scan them and cut them out. My daughter did this with some game coins, and some Mexican coins, from our cruise earlier this month. Debbie http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

On their 40th wedding anniversary, during the banquet, the husband was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. One in the crowd said, "Tell us, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" The husband said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness . . . and a lot of other disciplines that I wouldn't have needed if I had stayed single."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

» Goofy Pictures





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Comcast mail problems 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dad told me about the sheep in Europe getting hysterical about
our tar sands projects "destroying the last little bit of natural
tundra, just to make profit for the Royal Bank of Scottland".

He knows, that all they are doing in Ft McMurray is steam-cleaning
the sand and putting it back where it came from, then planting
the same stuff back on top of it as there was before. It is
like a slowly moving construction site. And obviously, they 
haven't got the faintest clue about the size of Canada.
So he was quite amused.

They were discussing a protest march from Calgary to Ft McMurray
and asked him how to get there.
"Dat is easy. Ven you come out of the airport, go left, left, denn right.
It's at the end of dat road. You can't miss it."

He probably laughed himself a hernia picturing the sheep marching
North on the #2. For 500 miles. The few who make it, are going
to be mighty thirsty when they get to Ft McMurray!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. ---Erma Bombeck Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do so. ---Bob Phillips
Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'." "You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" "That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!"
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God!
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Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between the door and the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Joanna Read, 26,and Nadir Khan, 26, in Dorchester, MA Growing pot in apartment building back yard Boston police arrested two people in Dorchester on Thursday night for allegedly growing a five-foot marijuana plant in their back yard. Police said in a statement that officers responded to 37 Ellington St. shortly before 10 p.m. for a drug call and were told that the plant belonged to residents on the first floor of the building. First-floor resident Joanna Read, 26, allegedly told officers that "she does smoke weed" and later said that the plant was hers, according to the statement. Another resident, Nadir Khan, 26, later told officers that the plant belonged to him, police said. Khan and Read were both charged with cultivation of a Class D substance.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Millie Re: Comcast problems Dear Webby, i haven't got the letter from you from millie Dear Millie Looks like Comcast was bouncing your subscription and made it look like you had died or moved on to a better ISP. When subscriptions bounce, they get cut off the list. I currently don't send newsletters to the hereafter. The gang up there reads it online at http://webby.com/humor. I sent you a fresh confirmation request. If you don't get your confirmation request, you will have to get a gmail or some other reliable address on the side. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The teacher said, "An abstract noun is something you can see, but can't touch. Can anyone give me an example of an abstract noun." A teen-aged boy's hand shot up and he said, "My father's new car."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Two Meals at Once I always save time and gas in the summer by cooking two meals at once. Instead of separating my meats, I cook the whole package. That way one night we have pasta. The next night we have tacos, sloppys, whatever. All I have to do is heat up in microwave. If I am not going to use the meat within a few days, I freeze it after it is cooked. Usually in August, at night when it is cooler, I cook a few night's meals and keep them in the fridge. It is too hot to be cooking, all we do is heat it up. By Moonseekerjade from Onset, MA http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. So he simply asked: "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows, tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal wedding gown stepped to the front.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The basketball coach stormed into the university President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."

» Grand Canyon





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PDF form filling software 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day

In the good old days I used to look forward to Labor Day. 
It always meant extra money, either working regular at double
pay, or on standby for somebody, who needed the day off.
That was even more money! 

The best job I ever had was working in a copper mine. If
the union had not gotten too greedy and forced the mine to
shut down, I would probably still be working there. Happily,
and quite profitably. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. --- George Bernard Shaw hmmmm
The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being, well, a little strange. While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school. So they went to the nearest church. But only the janitor was there. One said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?" "Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "Now go out and play." When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked, "What religion do you think we are?" The oldest one said, "We're not Katlick, because they pour the water on you. We're not Bablist because they dunk all of you in it. We're not Methdiss because they just sprinkle you." The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?" "Yes. What do you think that means?" "That means we're Pisscopalians."
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."
From Carolyn: Dear Webby, thank you once again for making the larger version of the pictures on your website. I use different ones for my wallpaper and love them all. The one today of Gananoque ON is so pretty. Thanks to all the people who send in the pictures and to you for sharing. Carolyn from IN Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to a pair of burglars in Elma, Washington Burglars tape sex session, leave camera behind ELMA, Wash. – A sex video identified the suspects in a break-in at a rural home at Elma. The Grays Harbor County sheriff's office says a neighbor who had come to collect the mail while the owner was away Monday surprised a man and woman were having sex on the floor. Chief Deputy Dave Pimentel says the naked couple fled, leaving behind the camera, which had been stolen elsewhere. Pimentel said Tuesday that deputies who checked the video recognized the couple from previous contacts. The 39-year-old woman was arrested in Montesano for investigation of burglary. An arrest warrant was issued for the 31-year-old Elma man.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alexa Re: Affordable PDF form filler Dear Webby, Is there an affordable PDF form filler out there? I searched high and low and wasted most of the weekend trying out different ones, but could not find one, that is good enough. What do YOU use? Alexa Dear Alexa I agree, there isn't one out there, that is worth downloading. They either work on just the 2-3%, that are designed to be interactive, or they make a mess. Si I just zoom the form down so that a page fits onto the monitor. With my monitor, that is 75%. Then I hit ALT PrintScreen, jump into graphics program, and paste the clipboard as a new image. When necessary, I crop the borders nice and neat. Every graphics program has a text tool. I use that to fill out the form. Unlike those half baked form filling programs, that does not obliterate the form prompts. I even have a small GIF with my signature on transparent background, that I can paste intothe signature area. When done, I save the image, copy it, and paste it into an Open Office file, and export that one as PDF. You can attach that to an email and send it back to whoever does not have a proper on-line form and wants to manually record your response. Have FUN! DearWebby
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

The closest to perfection anyone ever comes, is when he or she fills out a job application form.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pump Bottles in the Bath I keep my shampoo, conditioner and body wash in pump bottles. This way I don't spill any, and the product lasts longer. By Yarnlady from Pennsylvania http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A volcano is erupting in the Philippines. It's changed travel agency promotions for the country. The islands are now designated as either smoking or non-smoking.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A grandmother overheard her five-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be turned around and used against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride today."

» Hoodoos





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