Tricycling 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 23, 2010

"Two new dinosaur species discovered; still extinct."
DUH, really?
Well, that is the headline at http://snipurl.com/extinct

Don't worry, I think they will remain extinkt for a while yet.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." --- Mark Twain "One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball." ---Don Carter, pro bowler
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house."
Jill heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, "Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting." "It was postponed." he replied. "The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate won't let him attend until he finishes doing the laundry."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
One evening after dinner, Little Johnny noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?" Dad told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?" Little Johnny's father had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." Little Johnny burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," Little Johnny said. "I'm not THAT silly. Mom always says that Tupperware is the cheapest at Walmart! What are they really doing?"
Thanks to Donnie for this picture: Double Rainbow

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James M. Brienzo, 20 in Acron, Ohio From the frying pan into the fire The clues were there when police responded to a theft call at Wal-Mart around 6 a.m. Wednesday. A man was seen running into the darkness after leaving the rear door with a shopping cart full of merchandise. Just before the man left the store, investigators found an unoccupied vehicle behind the building at 2700 W. State St. The engine was running. But the suspect was nowhere to be found. Police might have gotten answer later when they got a call about a man trapped inside a refuse truck. The man had to be freed from the BFI trash-hauling truck after it was taken to the Alliance Recycling in the 15900 block of River Street NE, just north of Alliance in Lexington Township. The man, identified by police as James M. Brienzo, was taken to MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland where he was in critical condition Wednesday afternoon. HOW IT HAPPENED Within an hour of finding the car, police got a call from Akron placed by a man identifying himself as Brienzo’s friend. The caller told police that Brienzo called him and said he was inside a refuse bin that had just been emptied into a trash hauling truck. Police and Stark County dispatchers contacted Brienzo on his cell phone. He was located in the truck on N. Walnut Avenue through a global positioning system. Police worked to free the man but couldn’t, so the truck was taken to the recycling center where it was emptied. “When they pick up a new trash bin, they mechanically push the contents to the rear to make room for the next dumpster. He was pretty well compacted to the rear of the truck,” Police Chief Scott Griffith said. “That is why we had to actually dump the contents of the truck to get him out.” NO CHARGES FILED “He was conscious when he came out,” said John Sypolt, manager of the recycling center. “He actually asked for a bottle of water, then he passed out. He looked pretty bad off. He was all scraped up on the side.” While police are investigating the Wal-Mart theft incident, Griffith declined to confirm if Brienzo is a suspect or if he will be charged. Police, as of Wednesday afternoon, did not have much personal information on Brienzo. They said he is from Akron, possibly in his 20s.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dolores Re: Tricycling Dear Webby, Your comment about weight not being a problem on a bike is so true! Both my hubby and I weigh at least twice as much, each, as my know-it-all son does. Hubby sails us smoothly around any corner, even if I am sorting through my purse or making sandwiches, and my 275 pounds high up on my raised Queen seat are no probem at all, but Mr Know-it-all has to slow down for any bend and white-knuckles and zigzags around it and has overcooked quite a few curves. Luckily he has never hit any oncoming traffic in a curve, but has fallen down a few times already. Can you 'splain in simple terms, like you do with web stuff, what the difference is, what he does wrong? Dolores Dear Dolores Your son tricycles, your hubby "counter-steers". To turn right, your son turns the handlebars to the right, like he would on a trycicle. At low speed, that is OK, but at speed, the gyroscopic forces in the front wheel, will lean the bike to the left, the outside of the curve. That makes it very awkward to turn to the right, and that is why he zig-zags and barely makes it around a corner. Your hubby takes advantage of the gyro forces, turns the handlebars slightly to the left and lets the force lean the bike to the right. That puts the front wheel road contact to the right of the bike's center line, as if it was an articulated loader. At the same time, the generous lean of the bike keeps your weight pointing straight through the seat and the rear wheel, to where it contacts the road. That is why you can make sandwiches, while your son is always in danger of getting pulled off the bike towards the outside of a curve. If your son doesn't get the hang of counter steering, he should get a trike or a car. Otherwise sooner or later he will kill himself in a corner. Not all bikers grow old. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Two new additions to the periodic table of elements: Element Name: WOMANIUM Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (Don't even go there) Physical Properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left waiting. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!!!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing a Kettle Barbecue Some years ago, my husband and I decided to replace our barbecue kettle with a gas grill; but the kettle was still perfectly good. It seemed a shame to get rid of it. We considered drilling holes in the bottom, and turning it into a planter. Instead, we painted it bright red and set potted plants and flowers in it. Because it had wheels, it could be moved to the shade. It could be moved where it was raining (or where it wasn't), etc. It was so cute, we decided to do the same thing with our old chest freezer to complete the whimsy. We drilled holes into the bottom, planted geraniums, and set it next to the BBQ-planter. People always commented on how fun it was when they were on our patio. By Lady Eleanour from The Rocket City http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Element Name: MANIUM Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50) Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as younger samples. Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Spontaneously inflates with hot air when grouped with other like specimens. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to desend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. Then the preacher heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?"

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Thought this news item was funny:
"Google has revealed that aerial fiber links to its data center 
in Oregon were 'regularly' shot down by hunters, forcing the
company to put its cables underground. Hunters were reportedly 
trying to hit insulators on electricity distribution poles, which 
also hosted aerially-deployed fiber connected to Google's 
$600 million data center in The Dalles. 
'I have yet to see them actually hit the insulator, but they
regularly shoot down the fiber,' Google's network engineering 
manager Vijay Gill told a conference in Australia. 
'Every November when hunting season starts invariably we 
know that the fiber will be shot down, so much so that we 
are now building an underground path for it.'"

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"Consultants have credibility because they aren't dumb enough to work at your company." ---Scott Adams "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ---Emo Philips
Daffinition: Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? The reason old firehalls have circular stairways is from the days when the fire engines were pulled by horses. They kept the horses from walking up the stairs and eating the firefighters lunches while they slept. You might be wondering why they called their vehicles "engines" if they were pulled by horses. The "engine" was the steam engine powered pump. Re horses walking up stairs, did you know that horses can walk DOWN stairs too, but cows won't ? If you decide that it might be a fun graduation prank to herd some cows upstairs to the admin or even the dean's level, they have to be sedated and CARRIED down the stairs. After that sometimes the admin staff too needs to be sedated. A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
Jane got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Ethel is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." As Ethel finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water. "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too." Again Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" Ethel replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Last roses of fall
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to two bank robbers in Bulgaria A bungling bank robber in Bulgaria was arrested after his loot turned out to be so heavy that he fell off his motorcycle. The hapless thief was caught when he attempted to make his geaway from a bank robbery with a bag stuffed full of cash - Ł120,000 ($188,250) worth in total. Unfortunately for the bank robber, the bag full of money was so heavy that it destabilised the motorcycle, causing him to lose his balance and fall off the vehicle. Assuming the cash was in the local currency, it would have totalled around 280,000 Bulgarian leva - a currency in which the largest denomination is 100 leva note. The wobbly villain was quickly detained by the Bulgarian authorities. Things went from bad to worse for the criminal gang, when shortly afterwards the robber's accomplice was also arrested - when his bike ran out of gas right in front of a police station in the town of Petrich, in southwest Bulgaria near the Macedonian-Greek border. -------- Weight is no problem on a bike, if the rider has decent riding skills. However, when a novice rider steers a bike, like it was a tricycle, then extra weight WILL knock him over quickly.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dan Re: Understanding cookies Dear Webby, What is all this hysteria about cookies and getting rid of them? I get a lot of junkmail telling me about program that will get rid of all cookies and imply that they are as bad as viruses, and that I need to protect myself from them. What's the scoop? Dan Dear Dan If they are BSing you like that, they probably just want to stampede you into download their virus. Unless you turn into a terrorist and/or pervert, you don't have to worry about cookies at all. They are your trail of bread crumbs to find stuff again, without long searches. Banks use them to steer you quickly to the right department. The cookie does not store your private information or any transactions, just that you went through their maze and eventually found the place to pay bills. Other sites set a cookie telling the browser, that you HAVE subscribed or paid and are therefore allowed into the area reserved for members. If you kill that cookie, then you have to dig out your sign-up receipt and log in the hard way, until it sets a membership cookie again. Naturally, perverts and/or terrorists would not want to leave a trail like that, if they expect their machine to be confiscated and analyzed by experts. Normal people have absolutely nothing to worry about with cookies. Today's c are your helpers. Cookies also save you money. Most businesses have different price lists, depending on how you enter. To make it worthwhile for affiliates to promote their product, they sell it cheaper, when you arrive with a cookie from an affiliate, than if you just barge in. When you show up with that cookie, they see that you have already been told the basics about their product, and mainly just want to buy. So YOU get the low price list, and the affiliate, who shepherded you in out of the rain, will get a coffee, and maybe even a donut. So, unless you want to always pay full retail, don't mess with your cookies! Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
A local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday after that, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday he preached for an hour and a half. I asked him about this. He then told me "Well, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot. But the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures and I couldn't stop talking!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Memo Board for Unusual Grocery Items I keep a small memo board on the side of my fridge to write down those things you run out of that are not normally on your grocery list. Kraut, capers, special spices, brown sugar, molasses, cranberry sauce, the sort of thing that if I run out, I may forget to replace because I don't use it too often. Then when I need it, I find out, I forgot to replace it. For instance, you may only use kraut for Rubens but it is nice to know you do have the kraut when you crave one. About once a month I check the list and put the items on my normal grocery list. By Eveh from Gulf Coast http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" The woman responded, "They help me sleep better." The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

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Sorting files into different folders 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, September 21, 2010

This one is going to arrive late. It's 3am now, that I finally 
get started on it. Barb, who has been my assistant, secretary,
book keeper and friend and neighbor for a decade, is running 
for town council. So she needed a site in a hurry: http://barbfroud.com
Sharlene, another neighbor, is running for mayor again. 
She too needed a site in a hurry: http://black-diamond-election.com
Go have a look! Black Diamond might be a small town, but we
have a better looking mayor than your town has!

The sites will grow, of course, but I made them a good 
head-start this evening. 
. 
Have FUN!
DearWebby

The function of socialism is to raise suffering to a higher level. --- Norman Mailer It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember. --- Eugene McCarthy This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. ---Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) "I don't have a lot of respect for talent. Talent is genetic. It's what you do with it that counts." --- Martin Ritt
A company in Annapolis, MD, offers tours through the historic district of the town, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Dave, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Dave in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"
Rina, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about her and her education, but then asked her, out of the blue, "What is three times seven?" "22," Rina replied. After she left, she double-checked it on her calculator (she *knew* she should have taken it to the interview!) and realized she wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, she got a letter that said she was hired for the job! She was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, she went in and asked why she got the job,even though she got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, and no pollution, no rush hour. The women did all the work, while the sat around and smoked pipes, and went hunting or fishing whenever anybody mentioned cleaning up the yard or fixing the teepee. Ever since then, a bunch of do-gooders have been trying to "improve" the place.
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dominic Hinton,20 and Roman Nazarko, 19, in Garden City, Idaho 2 men attempted to rob sheriff in Craiglist sale GARDEN CITY, Idaho - Authorities say two men attempted to rob a local buyer interested in purchasing a laptop computer off Craigslist. The buyer was Ada County Sheriff Gary Raney. Garden City Police report Raney was looking to purchase a laptop computer and had agreed to meet the potential seller at 6650 Glenwood St. in Garden City. When Raney arrived, however, he saw the "seller" in a pullover hooded sweatshirt and other dark clothing sitting on a rock. Raney said he quickly became suspicious. "The (dark clothing) is what we call a clue," Raney said. Police say they believe the dark-clothed man planned to rob Raney once he got there. However, Raney called police and - when they arrived - the "seller" took off on foot. He was apprehended almost immediately. A second suspect also was later arrested. After an investigation, Garden City Police say two suspects, 20-year-old Dominic Hinton and 19-year-old Roman Nazarko, intended to commit an armed robbery. "The only thing better than laughing at arresting criminals," Raney said, "is laughing at arresting dumb criminals." This is not the first time these suspects attempted a similar crime, officials say. Earlier this month, police say the suspects attempted to rob a Nampa man during a bogus iPad purchase. "We had tremendous response in our call to the community for tips and information following the robbery last week," said Boise Police Sgt. Mark Bennett. "Citizens in the community were anxious for us to find the suspects, and today we can thank all involved who helped make that happen."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ruth Re: Sorting out picture files Dear Webby, I have to sort out my picture collection. It is getting too big and cumbersome for having them all in one folder. The only method I know of is to have six explorer windows open, and drag the pictures to the appropriate one. Needless to say, with six explorer windows open, this computer slows to a crawl and acts like it is just about crashing. Bert, my hubby, laughed when he saw that, bit didn't have any solution other than telling me: "Ask Dear Webby!" So I am asking you, how do YOU do that? Ruth Dear Ruth Set your explorer to Classic mode, File/Folder type, not task type. Rename the destination folders with one or two exclamation marks in the front, like !!summer, !!fall, etc. That makes them show at the top in alphabetical sorting in the folder view on the left. You may have to Click on Folders to make that left side panel open up. No change the View mode to Thumbnails. It may take a while to generate thumbnails for all the pictures. Once you see the thumbnails, you can drag each one to one of the six destination folders near the top in the folder view panel on the left. When you have it set up like that, sorting and weeding goes fast. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Memo Board for Unusual Grocery Items I keep a small memo board on the side of my fridge to write down those things you run out of that are not normally on your grocery list. Kraut, capers, special spices, brown sugar, molasses, cranberry sauce, the sort of thing that if I run out, I may forget to replace because I don't use it too often. Then when I need it, I find out, I forgot to replace it. For instance, you may only use kraut for Rubens but it is nice to know you do have the kraut when you crave one. About once a month I check the list and put the items on my normal grocery list. By Eveh from Gulf Coast http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
On the last day before the exam, the professor wished the students luck as he wrote a phone number on the blackboard. "If any of you have difficulty understanding the review material, call this number," he said as he dismissed the class. On Saturday afternoon, stumped by one of the review problems, Don reached for the phone and heard a recorded message, from Dial-A-Prayer.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Driving home from the store one day, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station. "How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts." The father countered with: "If all members of a band that plays Your style of music were playing the same song at the same time, what would they be singing about?" "They don't. If they did, it would just be boring country music!"

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, September 20, 2010

And we have another tempest in a teapot in the South China Sea.
The last time there was a fuss about them, I asked a Japanese
friend, why they don't put a jail or drug rehab center, or at least
an unmanned solar powered lighthouse on those uninhabited islands.
"Nah, they are not THAT important. Just important enough to 
keep the politicians and the lawyers busy and in the news."

They obviously have not learned from the Australian Iron Ore
salesman's incarceration and conviction. Actual facts are 
totally irrelevant, when the Chinese Government gets involved.
They fabricate their own. Might get intresting for a bit, and take
the heat off the Gullible Warming flop.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. --- Sir Winston Churchill It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people. --- Logan Pearsall Smith ---------- Methinks, I could get used to that type of wretchedness quite easily.
Thanks to Roland for this story: Leaving Montreal, Quebec, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. As I go in the washroom, the first stall is taken so I go in the second stall. As I sit down, I hear a voice from the next stall..."Hi there, how is it going?" I'm not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to do so finally I say: "Not bad..." The voice says, "So, what are you doing?" Talk about your dumb questions. I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm just going to the bathroom, then I'm going back east..." Then I hear the person say all flustered: "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question the idiot in the next stall answers."
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys may be hurting the dog, the clergyman approached the group of boys and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we have decided that, whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie, will get to keep the dog." Of course, the reverend was taken aback and exclaimed, "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" Then he launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning with, "Don't you boys know that it is a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, the Rev gets the dog. There is no way we can top that."
Thanks to Rita for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Picture I took in Maui of the Flash of Green in the sunset on Kamaole Beach III. Rita
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Giovanni Lyles-Dawson, 29, in Forest Park, Ill He smoked the evidence FOREST PARK, Ill. (UPI) -- Police in Illinois said a man admitted smoking the last of his marijuana in his car during a traffic stop so officers wouldn't be able to find any drugs. River Forest police said Giovanni Lyles-Dawson was pulled over at 6:09 p.m. Sept. 9 for allegedly driving with expired plates, and officers detected a strong odor of marijuana when they approached the vehicle, the Forest Park (Ill.) Forest Leaves reported. Police said they asked Lyles-Dawson to exit the car, but he instead locked his door and rolled up his window. The man's mother, Jayne Dawson, 47, who was in the passenger seat, also locked her door and refused to exit when ordered by police. Lyles-Dawson was eventually coaxed out of the vehicle and he told police: "I smoke weed. There's no weed in the car because I smoked it all." Lyles-Dawson was ticketed for expired plates and arrested on charges of obstructing a police officer, possession of drug paraphernalia and a previous warrant for non-payment of child support. Jayne Dawson as also charged with obstructing police.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lisa Re: Registry Booster Dear Webby, Thank you so much for recommending RegistryBooster, it has helped my computer run faster. It helped my mother's more. Earlier this summer she paid $200 to have her laptop fixed. When she got it back, it worked but took an hour to check her bank balance. She took it to another place last week for another $200. This time it only took forty minutes to check the balance. I downloaded RegistryBooster. . . guess what? Thank You. Now it runs like new. Oh- and thanks for the awesome newsletters, they are greatly appreciated. Lisa Dear Lisa You are most welcome! Like you, all who bought the Registry Booster are happy with it, especially those, who rebooted after it cleaned the registry. That prevents semi-legit entries from re-establishing themseves. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" he asked. "Nothing," she answered. "Well, it's not in there. Look under the bed."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baby Oil for Gum in Hair To get bubble gum out of hair, just dab a little baby oil on your finger tips (depending on the size of the wad) and rub on the gum. It should just slide right off the hair with minimal mess! By Beth B. from Lee, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When a job applicant asked if the phone company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, "Oh, our employees don't need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, hiding the paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"Mom, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?" She just said, "Thank goodness!"

» Gourds Galore





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The Difference 

- On being told that someone has purchased a new car, women ask what color it is. Men ask what the make and model are.

- Men have no opinions whatsoever on curtains.

- Ask for directions from a woman out and about, and she will give you landmarks by shopping stores. Men will give you landmarks by restaurants and pubs.

- Men appreciate the importance of a 42-inch plasma screen.

- Women can use sex to get what they want. Men can't because, well, what they want is sex.

- Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs.

- At weddings, women cry and then drink too much. Men drink too much, and then cry.

- Men can balance an infinite amount of trash in the garbage can without ever noticing it's full.

- Women know when all you want to do is get it off your shoulders and whine. Men always offer a solution.

- Women enjoy planning a wedding. Men enjoy just getting it over with.

- Women know what to do when someone starts to cry. Men just shuffle out of the room, mumbling something about the grouting.

- Men can watch an entire movie without having to ask "who is that, and what did he do?"

- A man can choose and purchase - in 90 seconds - a pair of shoes.

- Women can remember every outfit they wore for the past decade. Men cannot remember what they wore yesterday without looking at the floor next to the bed.



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Using CrapCleaner to clean the registry 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, September 19, 2010

If you receive a postcard from a "s ecret admire r", trash it.
That virus is on the lose again. It infects unprotected machines,
and then on command they all go to a postcard site and start
sending cards like crazy robots on speed, telling the recipient to
subcribe at some dating site to see pictures of him or her.

Naturally, I stop that right suddenly, whenever I notice it,
and dump all those phony cards, and any further ones, that might
try to go through, amd I am working on a script to detect that
kind of activity even faster.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't." --- Mark Twain "Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery He who is good at making excuses, is seldom good for anything else. --- Socratex
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?" Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out." "OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, ' Take fifty cents worth of ground beef '... "
An out-of-towner in New York decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ------------ He obviously needs to take lessons from a truck-stop waitress!
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
"That's real a beautiful fur coat," a friend remarked, "but don't you pity the poor beast who suffered so that you could have it?" The women replied, "Why are you suddenly worried about my husband?"
Thanks to Rita for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Picture I took in Maui of the Flash of Green in the sunset on Kamaole Beach III. Rita
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Victor Alfaro-Marquez, 35, of Selden, NY Impersonator pulls over a real detective SELDEN, N.Y. (AP) — A Long Island man faces impersonation charges after police said a driver he pulled over for a traffic stop turned out to be a legitimate detective. Suffolk County Police said 35-year-old Victor Alfaro-Marquez of Selden was arrested Monday night, hours after the attempted traffic stop. Detective William Zambito was driving home from work at about 4:30 a.m. when an unmarked car with flashing lights and sirens stopped him. When Zambito told Alfaro-Marquez he was an off-duty officer, police said Alfaro-Marquez fled the scene. Alfaro-Marquez was arrested at his home. Police recovered two badges, handcuffs, a pellet pistol in a holster and a Drug Enforcement Agency baseball hat and shirt. He was released on bail on a charge of criminal impersonation.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: Crap Cleaner to clean the Registry Good Evening Webby..... I found your explanation of the Registry the best I've read... good for you, not an easy task!!! I use the Registry cleaner in CrapCleaner...what are your thoughts about that product? Thanks for all you do.... Carol Dear Carol It is definitely better than nothing at all, and should keep things from getting out of control. However, you can't expect a little add-on, tacked onto a Freebie, to give your machine a performance boost, like you get with a big program, such as Registry Booster, that was written for just that purpose. Considering what you pay for CrapCleaner, it does very well, probably better than any other Freebie. If all you are concerned with is crash prevention, it is good enough. If you want a performance boost, then you need bigger ammo. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they finally stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the cute employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are . . . very slowly?" The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stretch Liquid Fabric Softener My favorite is Snuggle Jojoba Creme, but now without a coupon, it is getting harder to justify paying full price for it. I don't care much for the scent or softening of cheaper brands, and end up using more, so am not getting a good deal anyway. So I saved my last empty softener bottle, bought a new one, then poured half in the old bottle, and filled both up with tap water. The scent is just as good, and the softening is actually better---the towels don't feel as 'sticky' as they were before. I am sure that everyone else has thought of this already, but it just occurred to me, before I threw the last empty bottle away! (We have very little recycling abilities where I live). Source: Lightbulb went off in head! By fatboyslimsmom from Many, LA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Gene took his beat-up pickup truck to the insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection. The receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. Then she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Gene replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Gene. "Hmmm," she explained, "the computer won't accept Ford Fossil."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
This one is a re-run from a few years ago: Today I visited the Canadian Tire store (a chain store like Walmart, but with a football field size automotive section added to it) to get a bicycle pump. I was amazed and amused at the variety they had. Gone were the cheap little $1.95 telescoping pipe pumps that just clipped to the frame. Instead they had dozens of big bulky contraptions that looked like they needed a corner reserved for them in the garage. It totally escaped me why anybody would want a bicycle tire pump in bright designer colors matching the new fashionable bikes, but so big and awkward that there was no way you could take it along on normal a bike trip. Depending on the colors and the must-have logos on them, they cost between 3 and 15 times as much as a small electric air compressor in the automotive section. I decided that if it had to sit in the garage anyway, I might as well get a compressor that was useful for all kinds of other projects too. About then I noticed one of the store clerks, an elderly woman, and a priest discussing one of the bikes up on the second tier on the other side of the isle, and how to get it down. I was about to volunteer when she pulled out her phone, switched it to Public Address and announced in her sexiest and most mischievious voice: "I need somebody younger to help Father McCauley in the ADULT section, .........(long pause with heavy breathing)........ of the bicycles."

» Copycat Recipes





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JPG blemishes 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, September 18, 2010

Looks like Sarah Palin is having fun worrying the people who
backstabbed her or treated her as "not an insider", and she
seems to be making back the money she lost.

The Democrats are also getting quite concerned about her.
Personally, I doubt, that she will run for president or vice
president and read teleprompters written by others, when
she can say what she believes in and be a real nuisance
as a freelancer. And instead of being put into debt, now
she gets paid! Good for her!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"You know your children have grown up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going." --- Socratex We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people. --- Arthur Schopenhauer
So," Jane asked the detective she had hired, "did you trail my husband?" "Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile crossed Jane's face,"Aha!! Then I've got him!" she said, gloating. " Is there any doubt what he was doing?" "No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear, that he was following you and taking pictures for his web site."
A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their soup, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the wine had been enjoyed more than anticipated and a lot earlier than planned. So she jumped in the car and raced to the liquor store to get more and was in such a hurry on the way back that when she drove over the edge of the curb at the entrance or something near it, that she didn't even take the time to check what it was. Just before the maid was supposed to serve the main course, the maid again called the hostess to the kitchen. This time she told her that some time in the afternoon the cat had must have climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's midsection. The hostess decided to fill the eaten portion with some canned salmon and other camouflage. As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into the kitchen again, and announced while wringing her hands, "Madam, the cat is dead." The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs pumped. Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat. "It is still out on the driveway, where you ran over it on the way back from the liquor store."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Jeff went to the eye doctor. The receptionist asked him why he is there. Jeff complained, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" and the man replies, "No, just spots."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Gille, 29 from St. Clair Shores, Michigan Intoxicated naked woman steals Covington cab According to a Covington Police spokesman, a cab driver picked up 29-year-old Jennifer Gille from a local motel, after she asked to be taken to an address off Harrison Avenue. Covington Police Capt. Jack West said that upon arrival at the address, the woman refused to exit the cab. Further complicating matters, the cab driver said the woman "began acting crazy," taking off her clothing and demanding the cab driver take her to Michigan. Instead of driving her to The Wolverine State, investigators say the cabbie drove her to the Covington Police department to try to get help removing her from the vehicle. When the driver went inside to get the assistance of police, cops say the naked woman jumped into the front seat of the cab and sped off. Police say she didn't get far; cops located the parked cab in a parking lot about a block from the police station, where the woman was again in the back seat, naked. Officers say after they forcibly removed the naked woman from the cab, they "pulled her dress on so she would be properly dressed," according to the police report. The woman was reportedly uncooperative during the booking process. Police say the cab driver was reunited with his cab and the naked woman was placed in St. Tammany Parish Jail. Officials say the woman is a resident of St. Clair Shores, Michigan. She faces charges of unauthorized use of a movable, and obscenity, for allegedly exposing herself to the cab driver in a sexual manner. The cab driver was apparently not charged for abandoning his cab with the key in it, and a nutcase in the back. He could have called 911, when he was in front of the police station.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Trevor Re: JPG blemishes Dear Webby I notice with most JPG pictures, that there are blemishes like seen through a wet window, especially along horizons, or other high contrast areas.I also noticed, that with the pictures, that you feature, there are very rarely any blemishes. How do you get rid of them? Trevor Dear Trevor When somebody increases JPG compression to get more pictures onto a camera chip, or to transfer them faster on a slow connection, all kinds of shortcuts are taken and quality is reduced.If the picture is then worked on, for example for resizing or cropping, and saved again, areas that had been identified as the same color during the initial compression, appear to have a faint guard halo or lasso around them, to prevent nearby colors from bleeding into those areas.It is those guard halos that produce the wet window effect near horizons or text. The solution is to use the least amount of compression, change to a non-destructive format like PSP, PSD, or PNG for working on the picture, and make converting it back to JPG the very last step before uploading or sending. If a picture has already been trashed down, after converting it to a safe format, select a bad area like for example the sky, and soften or blur it until those guard halos have disappeared. Then sharpen that still selected area to about original contrast. That won't make the halos re-appear. They have been averaged into nearby pixel groups. With a bit of practise, the whole operation goes quite fast. Fr example, today's featured picture, it took me about two minutes to get it to the condition it is in now. Without that, it would not have been good enough. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 10 nautical miles per hour: Knot-furlong 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton 1000 grams of wet pants: 1 literhosen 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche 10 rations: 1 decoration 100 rations: 1 C-ration 2 monograms: 1 diagram 100 Senators: 1 doze.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stretch Liquid Fabric Softener My favorite is Snuggle Jojoba Creme, but now without a coupon, it is getting harder to justify paying full price for it. I don't care much for the scent or softening of cheaper brands, and end up using more, so am not getting a good deal anyway. So I saved my last empty softener bottle, bought a new one, then poured half in the old bottle, and filled both up with tap water. The scent is just as good, and the softening is actually better---the towels don't feel as 'sticky' as they were before. I am sure that everyone else has thought of this already, but it just occurred to me, before I threw the last empty bottle away! (We have very little recycling abilities where I live). Source: Lightbulb went off in head! By fatboyslimsmom from Many, LA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When Little Johnny's family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked him how he liked the new place. "It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Billy has his own room, and Betty-Sue has her own room. WE can have fun! Only dad is still stuck with sharing a room with mom."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five."

» Vietnam





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How do I fix the registry? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, September 17, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

From Roberta
"I Know that you would give us Photo locations if they were given to you.
Thanks for all of them
I think this one is  Monastery of Agia Triada Meteora.

I pasted that into Google, and found the Sacred Destinations
They have that view and a few more of that monastery there.
Very interesting indeed!
Thanks Roberta!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. --- Elbert Hubbard A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices. --- William James The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. --- Benjamin Disraeli
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Sandy was sitting in the doctor's office when the doctor came in and said, "Sandy, this isn't a urine sample you brought in. It's apple juice." "Oh my god" sandra said, "I've got to get to a phone." "Why?" asked the doctor. "I may have packed the other bottle in Michael's lunch box."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
Thanks to Robert for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version In the Canadian Rockies
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Sellers, 61,in Las Vegas, Nevada Man Steals Car With Owner Riding On Hood ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. -- An Orlando man is facing charges Monday morning after police said he sped off in a stolen car while the owner was still on the hood. Mazzard McMillian is charged with grand theft and attempted murder. Police said the car's owner saw McMillian stealing the car and jumped on the hood. McMillian took off and ended up hitting another vehicle at Orange Blossom Trail and West Central Boulevard, throwing the owner from the car. The victim was taken to the hospital and is expected to recover
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tracey Re: Registry fixer Dear Webby A good part of the junkmail I get is about programs to do something or other with the registry. I know that some of those are ransom ware and other malware, and I heard that most of them are just a waste of money. What IS the registry, why is it important, and why does it need to be fixed? Is there any one Registry program that you can recommend? Thanks Tracey Dear Tracey And I suppose you want me to answer that in less than thousand pages, right? At one time each program had a PIF, a Program Information File, where all the settings for that program were stored in simple text. As long as each program was in a reasonably well organized location, that worked very well and it was easy to change the settings for any program, if that was necessary. Apparently, that worked too well, so Microsoft changed things and put all tose PIFs into a central database, the Registry, that is no longer plain text and easy to maintain by the user. Instead it is hidden in a database, that can be accessed easily from far away by a Systems Administrator, hacker or accident. System administrators and hackers of course love it, but for the average user, the Registry is a pain in the nuisance. To run faster, Windows pulls program parts and data into RAM, so it changes the Registry settings accordingly. It marks down where those things can now be found. When the RAM gets full, or when a program gets minimized to the task bar or covered up, it parks that stuff in virtual RAM on the hard drive. It doesn't put it back where it got that stuff, but somewhere else, and marks in the Registry where it can now be found. In theory, that Chinese fire drill is supposed to be cleaned up, when that program is closed. When a program stalls or crashes, those messy entries stay in the registry. Even when a program just hesitates too long, for example if IE is waiting for a response from a site and locks up, then a few minutes later miraculously continues, there is abandoned data in the Registry. Naturally, that mess slows everything down, and there is a real need for a program to clean it up. A few programs like the Registry Booster do a good job of it, but there are lot of scammers out there who try to take advantage of that need. Some of the other registry programs infect your computer with hard to get rid of ransom-ware, and some simply don't do much useful work. If you have the time, use a machine, that you don't mind formatting, if it gets infected too badly, and repeat my testing and comparing. Or you can go with my recommendtion and use Registry Booster. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Salad Bar Garden Bed My husband is in the construction business. One day he brought this old salad display home. It is the large kind you see at buffets. It has a sneeze guard on the top. I put it on my back porch and planted herbs in it. There is more than ample room for the soil and it even has a drain hole if the herbs get too much rain. Underneath are cabinets to store my gardening tools and seeds. You can pick these up from restaurants that are being remodeled. They will give them to you. I love mine. By Eveh from Gulf Coast http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art and the best I could find." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the army. "But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" The man shrugged, "So far, none of them complained."

» Amazon River





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From where is that pictrue? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 16, 2010

Today a client asked me a PayPal question, that I could not 
answer. I searched their site. All the obvious and common sense
stuff is explained in great gory detail, but nothing about his
question, which was about a third account or a diferently
configured sub-account.

So I tried emailing their support. That did not work. Their
email module is mis-configured.

Next I tried calling them. In case you need the well hidden 
top secret support number, it is:  +18882211161

Naturally, you get some insane voice menu asking totally
irrelevant questions, so I gave it totally irrelevant answers.
Instead of giving it the last four digits of my Social Security
Number, which we Canadians don't have, I made remarks
about the ancestry of the idiot who designed that voice menu.
That almost broke me out of it. 

Then I remembered that somebody told me the best way to 
break out of a voice menu is to "THUNDER 
'O P E R A T O R!!!'. "
So I took a deep breath and I THUNDERED.

Lights next door came on, and the lights in the gym across
the soccer field went off.
And the voice menu went off, to be replaced with the muffled
voice of a timid, softspoken girl with a very strong Taliban 
accent.

I told her that their email rigmarole does not work. She tried
to guide me step by step through it. I told her to try it,
politely at first, a few times. Eventually I resorted to 
THUNDERING: 
"T R Y I T !!!"

Lights in the house next door went off, and the lights in the gym 
came back on.

Three minute pause. Then she came back even more muffled
and more softspoken, as if she had added another veil to protect
her from this infidel, and said that she will report it.
I asked her how? Email them?

That obviouly did not make her day. Eventually she meekly 
replied that "she knows somebody, who whisper whisper whisper."

So finally we got to my client's question about a sub-account
that uses the same bank information, but has different settings.
Well, that was way over her head and explaining it seven times 
did not help. How about a third account?
(I know that officially you are not supposed to have more than 
two accounts.)

Oh yes, she said, he can have a third account. Just use 
different email address and different bank. And that she was
going to send me the information by email.

Yeah right. I think I want fries with that.
That never arrived. The fries didn't either.

In summary, PayPal works great, their support doesn't.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"A champion owes everybody something. He can never pay back for all the help he got, for making him an idol." --- Jack Dempsey (1895-1983) US boxer
Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
The night before her wedding, Wendy talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know all about sex, mother," Wendy interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a decent lasagna."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Richard Sellers, 61,in Las Vegas, Nevada Man claimed defibrillator was bomb LAS VEGAS (UPI) -- Las Vegas authorities said they arrested a man who walked into a casino with a defibrillator strapped to his person, claiming it was a bomb. Police said Richard Sellers, 61, had the defibrillator vest strapped to his chest when he entered Arizona Charlie's at 9:49 a.m. Saturday and told a security supervisor the item was a bomb, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reported. "Someone put this on me and said if he didn't win $1,000 in five minutes he was going to blow up the casino," police quoted Sellers as telling the security supervisor. Sellers eventually admitted the vest was not dangerous after a 2-hour standoff with a SWAT unit, police said. He told officers he worked alone. The suspect was booked at the Clark County Detention Center on suspicion of felony making a terroristic threat in addition to extortion and burglary charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: many Re: Where was that picture taken? Dear Webby Where was that picture taken? Dear When I know that information, I include it. But I won't hold back a good picture, just because I don't know the location. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The Cash Printer" will make some people a lot of legitimate cash. If you have a bit of time and need some real income, go for it! Get "The Cash Printer" !
At the grocery store I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children, and I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case and was showing off a rather scary balancing act. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Blueprint Storage Box For Fabric Rolls Most of the fabric I purchase is on bolts that are 54 inches long and difficult to store. I found a cardboard blueprint storage box at Staples and now all my bolts are stored on end. They stay neat, don't fall all over the place and I can easily view the fabrics. By Gon2oahu from Victoria, B.C. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her: "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Four dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, four dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."

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Newsletter mising frm Gmail 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Thank you for all your responses about the side menu.
The overwhelming majority wants to keep the links I got there now.
At the same time, it appears that Google has fixed their problem,
so I will leave the side menu as it is.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." ---Sam Levenson "Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen, let adversity teach him." --- Ethiopian Proverb
A granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with Nancy, and she decided to teach her to sew. After she had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, the granddaughter stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief: "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?"
A Guy and his wife are riding two up on a bike along a twisty road with a 55MPH limit. A cop pulls them over. "Had you going about 70 in 55 back there," says the cop. "Not me," says the guy, "Could be your radar picked up someone else or something, but my speedometer was set right on 55." The wife pipes up, "You were to going 70. I've told you 20 miles back you were going to get stopped if you didn't slow down." "Quiet please!" mumbles the guy. "Can I see your proof of insurance?" asks the cop. "Sure, my card is right here in my wallet." The wife says, "That card's no good and you know it. You haven't paid the last premium and the company sent you a cancellation notice." "Damn," yells the guy. "Would you shut up for a minute?" "Ma'am," says the cop. "Does this guy always talk to you like this?" "Only when he's been drinking."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I ran into his wheelchair with the car."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Adam Segura, 32, in Greeley, Colorado Suspect attempts escape -- in police car GREELEY, Colo. (UPI) -- Police in Colorado say a man arrested and handcuffed after being stopped for drunken driving tried to escape in the police car of the officer who stopped him. Adam Segura, 32, was recaptured after a chase lasting about a mile, The Greeley (Colo.) Tribune reported Sunday. Segura had been pulled over near Greeley for speeding, and the police officer allegedly noticed alcohol on his breath and slurred speech. Segura was cuffed with his hands behind his back and placed in the back seat of the unmarked patrol car. As the officer, along with a backup patrolman, questioned a woman passenger in Segura's car, Segura allegedly managed to get the handcuffs in front of him, climbed into the patrol car's front seat and drove away, the newspaper said. As the officers pursued in the backup car, Segura stopped after about a mile near the entrance to the Greeley Mall and surrendered. He faces multiple charges, including aggravated vehicle theft, escape, resisting arrest -- and two counts of DUI, one in his own car, and one in the police car, that he had stolen.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joanne Re: What is the Webby Letter ? Dear Webby Where is my Webby letter every day? I miss it! Joanne Dear Joanne Most likely in your spam folder. Just make a filter in Gmail, so that mail FROM humor@webby.com is never put into SPAM. Have FUN! DearWebby
Last chance. Tomorrow this deal comes down. Earn commissions with Zero Cost!! (once you know how). This know-how course is not free, but with what you learn in it, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get "Zero Cost" now!!
Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis. It was the hardest spelling test he ever took.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Blueprint Storage Box For Fabric Rolls Most of the fabric I purchase is on bolts that are 54 inches long and difficult to store. I found a cardboard blueprint storage box at Staples and now all my bolts are stored on end. They stay neat, don't fall all over the place and I can easily view the fabrics. By Gon2oahu from Victoria, B.C. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress there. All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in. They observed the connection between the waitress and the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive remarks trying to get the trucker to start something. But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill and walked out. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like your boyfriend ain't much of a man." The waitress just leaned on the cash register and looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over three bikes out there."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"

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What is a "spa product" ? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Some Gmail or browser add-ons seem to be causing formatting 
problems for some people. I didn't notice any problems in the
Humor Letter that I send to my gmail test address, but most likely
I am not using certain fashionable add-ons. At any rate, I am
simplifying the lay-out and we'll see if that helps.

I also plan to weed out the ads on the side. Yeah, I know, 
a buch of you are going to scream and yell and demand that
I leave the "Find A Human", Currency Exchange, Babelfish,
Breast Cancer Help Site, and this and that in there.

OK, tell me what you definitely want to keep!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. --- John Stuart Mill Idleness is not doing nothing. Idleness is being free to do anything. --- Floyd Dell
Patient: "Nurse, during my operation I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much." Nurse: "What word was that?" Patient: "Oops!"
4 year old Zachary came screaming out of the bathroom to tell his mom that he had dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So she fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to moms bathroom and came out with her toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet last week."
Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun! With an e-course for a hobby without stress, that will earn you some income no less, does not take much of your time. don't need a lab, your table is fine. You CAN Make Spa Stuff for profit and fun!
Teacher: If your father earned $100.00 and gave half to your mother, what would she have? Little Johnny: A heart attack!
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Larry Shawn Taylor, 18, ins Seattle, WA Suspect had 'GET MONEY' shaved in hair and tattoed on hands SEATTLE (UPI) -- Police in Seattle said they arrested a robbery suspect who was easily identified by the words "GET MONEY" shaved into the side of his head. Investigators said Larry Shawn Taylor, 18, robbed two women of $310 at gunpoint Aug. 23 while they were stopped at a traffic light, Seattlepi.com reported. The women described the robber to police as a black man with deformed or folded-down ears, the words "GET MONEY" shaved into one side of his head and tattoos with the word "GET" on one hand and "MONEY" on the other. Police said Taylor was recognized by an officer who pulled over a Toyota Camry for reckless driving. The officer had previously stopped Taylor several times and said another officer had written him a ticket. Investigators said a gun was found in the vehicle and the victims identified Taylor as the robber. Taylor was charged with robbery and jailed in lieu of $100,000 bond. He is due in court Sept. 13.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: many Re: What is a "Spa Product" ? Dear I was surprised at how many people asked that question. Spa products are basically anything (except your sweetie), that can be used to make a bath more enjoyable. Fragrances, oils, salts, herbs, dried fowers, colorants, and so on. Some combinations work very well, some others cause embarrasing results. Knowing what works well and what doesn't seems to be more an art than a science, but is definitely learnable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Last chance. Tomorrow this deal comes down. Earn commissions with Zero Cost!! (once you know how). This know-how course is not free, but with what you learn in it, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get "Zero Cost" now!!
News Item: An Oregon State University animal rights activist denounces vegetarianism because mice, moles and rabbits are often killed in the preparation of farmland to grow vegetables.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Restaurant Supply Stores A restaurant supply store is different than a warehouse-type store like Costco. The one I shop at is called Cash and Carry. These allow anyone to purchase without a card. The difference with restaurant supply is that they cater to restaurant owners, which means they will have bulk of vegetables, dairy, baking supplies, cleaning/serving supplies, and some other things. Most of their prices usually beat any other store (like 50 lbs of potatoes for $8). We dry most of our own food, so buying bulk vegetables (like 2.5 lbs of spinach) is wonderful. I highly recommend searching for one in your area. Buying bulk on what you can store will save you a lot. By Davidicdancer from Spokane, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Recently on a West Coast commuter flight a flight attendant announced, "As per federal regulations every 500th landing has to be a manual landing, not on auto-pilot. Our new co-pilot will be performing his first manual landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop." Well, the plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard a few times times before smoothing out. Still, the passengers applauded. Then the attendant's voice came over the intercom, "Thanks for flying with us. And don't forget to let our co-pilot know which of his three landings you liked best."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two cowboys were scouting near their fort and worrying that the Indians might be overrunning them. As they listened to the distant pounding war drums, one cowboy muttered to the other: "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, an apologetic voice came from behind a bush, "Our regular drummer slept in!"

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Are e-course claims too good to be true? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, September 13, 2010

Quite a few readers asked about that Chinook Arch in yesterday's
picture. That arch reaches from the Trans Canada Highway all
along the eastern side of the Rockies down into Montana. When 
people see the arch,  they know it's time to gather up any loose
stuff, because it is going to get windy shortly. 
Chinook is on the way!

The Chinook starts out in the South Sea Islands, loads up with 
water, goes over Hawaii and heats up, picks up more water on
the way to the mainland. There it dumps it onto the rain forests
in Washington and BC, and winds up quite dry when it goes
ove the top of the Rockies. Also quite warm from absorbing
all the condensation calories. 

Because air flows like to follow contours, part of it then dives 
down to the foothills. There it picks up moisture, dries the 
grain and the hay, and bounces back up high, hitting cool air 
and forms the arch. The part of the Chinook, that did not dive,
blows the clouds eastward across the prairies, but because 
there is always fresh air bouncing up from the foothills, the
arch appears to be a stationary fixture, where the clouds are 
created and dispatched eastward.

On the ground, the Chinook is a warm, dry wind that picks up 
the leaves in the fall and hauls them eastward. In some areas,
like Pincher Creek, where the big windmill farms are, it often
reaches hurricane speeds and knocks over semis and RVs.
Car ports are not a good idea in this area.

Glider pilots love the Chinook and they ride the elevators,
where it bounces up from the foothills, then surf the crest.
They soar at altitudes where they need oxygen for hours
and only dive down when their oxygen bottles run empty.

After the chinook travels across a few thousand miles of
prairie it has loaded up with moisture again, and people in
the East call it "The Albertan". When it mixes with cold air
from the Atlantic and the Great Lakes, it dumps onto Toronto
and Chicago. If you see the arch here, don't go to those 
places!

From there occasionally it travels south and brings cool air
down to Florida.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. --- Arthur Koestler
A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits."
While John and Jill were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short form-fitting dress strolled by... Johns eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item Jill was examining, Jill asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?"
Make Spa Products for fun and profit This is not a frantic 20 hour a day Millionaire maker! It is an e-course for a no-stress hobby, that will generate a steady income and does not require a lot of time. You don't need a lab, your kitchen table will do just fine. Yes, you CAN Make Spa Products for fun and profit

The District Attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict. Bitterly he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?" The foreman answered, "Insanity." The D.A. said, "All twelve of you?"
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version Liquid money! When this water drives a turbine after dropping 6000 feet down through a strong steel pipeline, it makes more than it's weight in paper money.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Jose Parada, 23 in Pico Rivera, California Burglar found after fall through ceiling PICO RIVERA, Calif. (AP) - A man fell through the ceiling of a Pico Rivera shop on Saturday, landing in the arms of sheriff's deputies who were searching for the suspected burglar of three businesses. The Whittier Daily News reports that 23-year-old Jose Parada has been booked on suspicion of burglary after Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies responded to a burglar alarm at William's Boots at 7 a.m. County sheriff Sgt. Debbie Gallego says a responding deputy saw someone inside nearby De La Cruz Jewelry, and called in a K-9 unit for a search. Deputies sprayed pepper spray in the attic of the store shortly before Parada fell through the ceiling. A nearby antique store was also burglarized. Parada is being held in lieu of $20,5000 bail. His arraignment is scheduled for Tuesday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: DJ Re: E-Course too good to be true? Dear Webby, have you checked out "get zero cost "? is it legit. it has that to good to be true ring to it Dear DJ He tells you off the bat, that YOU probably won't make that much a month, not initially, for sure, and quite possibly not ever. It is the same as when, for example, somebody buys a golf book by Arnold Palmer. It would not be realistic to expect them to win a bunch of international tournaments in a year, but quite likely, with what they learn, they will beat their boss and their neighbor in the very near future. The more of the lessons from that book, that you implement and actually use, the closer you will get to what he makes. It is not a magic pill, that does it all for you, without your participation. You have to actually DO what you learn. If you only make $500 every month with what you actually do, it may be pathetic compared to what that guy makes now, but it is $500 more than you would make without reading his lessons and implementing at least some little bit of what you learn. Even if you don't get serious and just read it for entertainment, some information will stick, and if nothing else, will help you avoid some mistakes. That alone will be worth a lot more than the cost of the book. Have FUN! DearWebby
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Old Scrubbies to Clean the Tub Save those worn out scrubbies used with liquid bath soap, and use them to clean your tub and surround. They are great to scrub off soap scum and hold enough water to rinse the walls of the tub surround effectively. By TxTiket2Ride2 from Fort Worth, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your silly train!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.

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Invisible page counters 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Russian Government, unlike the governments of the Euro Block,
uses Microsoft software. Dissident groups in Russia generally use
pirated software. On the black market, you can buy any software
for US$ 5 per CD. (The black market is still strictly US dollars only.)

Many of those dissident groups could afford legitimate software
or use free Linux and Open Source software, but it is tradition
there, and it has a revolutionary flair to use pirated software.

Now Microsoft is siding with their big customer, the Russian
Government, and helping them to go after the dissidents.
According to the Moscow Helsinki Group, a Human Rights
watchdog organization, Microsoft is too cozy with the Russian
Government and too slow with admitting that any software
is legitimate. 

To me, that sems to be a very shortsighted move. Any dissident
group, that has their computers confiscated in surprise raids,
and loses not only all their data, but has members jailed,
will naturally move away from Microsoft, and use Linux and
strong encryption. It does not in the least encourage them
to buy Microsoft products, since Microsoft won't lift a finger
to defend them anyway.

Sure, Microsoft is not making any money, when young people
use pirated software. But when those people get older and
more affluent, they usually buy the software, that they are 
used to. A cracked Microsoft Office to them is like trial ware.
They know, that some day they will have to buy a legitimate
version.

That does not apply to the young people, who are forced to
switch to Linux and Open Source software. They will all be
used to that, and never tempted to buy Microsoft products.

IBM was instrumental in breaking up the Soviet Union, when
they donated Millions of unsellable PS2-286 computers to
the Soviet Union, wrote them off as a tax deduction, and
listed them in their sales figures. In the Soviet Union, those
PS2-286 pizza boxes allowed the people to get around the
brutally strict printed paper transport bans and just print 
pamphlets and brochures locally off easily transported floppies.

IBM created a lot of good will and a lot of future business
with that smart move. Microoft is doing the opposite.

Expect a lot of good Linux software to come out of Russia
in the next ten years!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway. --- Clyde B. Aster There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it. --- Denis Diderot "An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." --- Evan Esar
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?" "I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide announcements, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a timid female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys and need assistance."
Make Spa Products for fun and profit This is not a frantic 20 hour a day Millionaire maker! It is an e-course for a no-stress hobby, that will generate a steady income and does not require a lot of time. You don't need a lab, your kitchen table will do just fine. Yes, you CAN Make Spa Products for fun and profit

The first time I heard the following joke, it was told to me about 15 years ago by Danny, a carpet layer. Knowing what he smoked, I actually believed him. According to his story, Danny had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt. While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the room. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my gerbil."
Click on the picture for the Large Version Chinook Arch from my window 7:30 yesterday morning.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to a couple in Tacoma, Washington Couple ws burned while siphoning gas A woman was burned Wednesday night while trying to siphon gas from a Salvation Army van, Tacoma police said. Paramedics took the 20-year-old woman to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle for treatment, police spokesman Mark Fulghum said. A witness called police shortly after 10:30 p.m. Wednesday after seeing a man and a woman trying to siphon gas from a Salvation Army van parked in a church parking lot at 1110 Puget Sound Ave. The witness walked over to get a better view and startled the two, Fulghum said. “Moments later, fire erupted,” Fulghum said. The van, a nearby vehicle and the two would-be gas thieves caught fire. The woman ran toward the witness, who told her to drop and roll. The woman didn’t comply, and the witness used a garden hose to douse the flames, Fulghum said. The man was able to extinguish his flames. He and stayed for a short time and talked to witnesses, but fled before police arrived, Fulghum said. Tacoma firefighters put out the remaining flames, which damaged the van and nearby vehicle. Paramedics took the woman to Harborview. A Tacoma police officer went to the hospital but was unable to talk to the woman, Fulghum said. Her injuries were not considered life-threatening. The woman could face charges related to the gas theft and fire when released from the hospital, Fulghum said. What caused the fire is under investigation, he said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rolly Re: Page Counters Dear Webby, I want to put a plain text visitor counter on my page, like the one on Ophelia's site, but until it reaches respectable numbers, I don't want it visible to the public, just to me, if necessary with a hot key or something. How is that done? Rolly Dear Rolly If you use a plain text counter, then you can set the font color. Simply set the font color the same as the page background. When you hit CTRL A or wipe the mouse over that spot, the numbers become visible. You have to hold down the left mouse key for wiping. By the way, don't worry too much about the numbers showing. Most sites reset their counters back to zero, whenever the numbers get too big for comfort. The total number of visits since the stone age is not really important. What counts is showing at a glance how many people visited that day. Have FUN! DearWebby
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. That will be $100. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith: "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Old Scrubbies to Clean the Tub Save those worn out scrubbies used with liquid bath soap, and use them to clean your tub and surround. They are great to scrub off soap scum and hold enough water to rinse the walls of the tub surround effectively. By TxTiket2Ride2 from Fort Worth, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes. Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'"

» Whale Tails





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Distorted perspective 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, September 11, 2010

Nine years ago today, the world changed.
Don't worry, I am not going to get maudling and philosophical on
you. Instead, I will observe a moment of silence.






Have FUN!
DearWebby

"You don't get ulcers from what you eat. You get them from what's eating you." --- Vicki Baum Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. --- Ken Hakuta
Thanks to Roland for this story: Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who live in our community. In addition to the usual inquiries about occupation and age, people are asked questions that give a snapshot of their personalities. Recently one woman was asked, "What's the strangest thing you ever bought?" She answered, "Dog toothpaste." Next question: "What is the most common thing people say to you?" Her answer: "Where did you get such white teeth?"
Church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and Florence agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, Florence replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm."
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife."
Click on the picture for the Large Version Before 911
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Darius McCollum, NY, NY Bus thief arrested for 27th time NEW YORK (UPI) -- A New York man with a history of impersonating transit workers and joyriding in subway trains allegedly stole a bus in New Jersey, police said. Investigators said Darius McCollum, who has been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and has extensive knowledge of Metropolitan Transportation Authority procedures, entered an unsecured bus depot in Hoboken early Tuesday and stole a Trailways coach that had been parked with the keys still inside, the New York Post reported. Police tracked the bus using its satellite global-positioning system and pulled it over at 9 a.m. EDT in New York. A police report said the suspect acted "like a gentleman" toward officers. McCollum was charged with grand larceny and possession of stolen property. He has previously been arrested 27 times during the past three decades, often for stealing subway trains, the report said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kathy Re: Distorted perspective in pictures Dear Webby, I noticed that with my new, and much lighter, camera, I often get pictures of buildings that appear to lean. My old camera may have done it too, but I never noticed it as much as I do now. Is there a way to correct that distorted perspective, or is that actually important? My pictures are just for fun and memories. Kathy Dear Kathy You are just getting too critical of yourself. For fun memory pictures the distortion is not only quite acceptable, but can be an extra source of enjoyment. The distortion actually emphasizes the emotions of the location. For example, if you take a picture of a building at the end of a long, narrow street, the buildings on the side appear to be looming or leaning in, quite like what YOU felt at the time. A painter, who paints the scene with perfectly perpendicular houses, would not be able to convey the emotions of the time and place, like you do with your pictures. For fun and memories pictures, consider it a bonus feature! If you were to take the pictures for an architectural project, where everything is supposed to look perfectly perpendicular, then you would have to stand way back and use big expensive telescope lenses, the opposite of wide-angle lenses. You CAN cheat a bit by standing farther back, rest the camera on something, and take the shot with maximum zoom at the highest resolution the camera can handle. Then, if the picture is for example 4000 x 3000 pixels, crop it down to 800 x 600. In that center portion there will be very little distortion, and if the camera was perfectly steady during the shot, the picture will be sharp enough to safely enlarge it to 1024 x 768, without getting fuzzy. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Wouldn't it be nice to tell the principal of your college or highschool what you REALLY think about him/her? Well,... if you like YOUR principal as much as Jim liked HIS principal, then you'd better keep your mouth shut. Jim knew he'd get kicked out of the college if he expressed his true feelings, so he remained silent for the last four years. But yesterday was his graduation. And as he walked across the stage, the principal handed his diploma scroll to him (nicely rolled up and tied with a ribbon). Once she handed it to Jim, he thought he could finally tell that @#$& what he REALLY thought about her. So he leaned across her podium and looked her straight in the eye. "You dumb twit," he said. "You're so darn ugly,... you could practice birth control by just leaving the lights on!" And then he walked off the stage, and went home. Today, he finally unwrapped his diploma scroll, framed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly proclaims to the world: "In order to receive your diploma, please present this certificate to the principal of your college after final grades have been posted!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Donate School Clothes to the Schools With school starting I wondered if there were children in need of clothing, especially middle and high school age. A lot of kids this age would be too proud to ask for help, and embarrassed not to have new clothes. Guidance counselors at schools usually would know of those in need. Call ahead to check to donate good clean clothing. If the school doesn't mind helping distribute to those in need, the kids can pick out their sizes and keep their dignity. By Peggy from Cortland, OH http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Why did the Newfie businessman go fishing instead of attending a meeting? "Just for the halibut."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you have to do" she told her class, is this: two steps forward, three steps back, then side-step, side-step, turn around"

» 1000 Skies





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HP computer from eBay 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, September 10, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

A few days ago I noticed, that most web pages showed some 
symbols covered with the question mark on a blue diamond.
For example, the copyright symbol, some French characters, 
and even the little Chevron that I traditionally put in front of
Dianne's bonus link. At first I figured that I probably had too
many tabs going or not rebooted for too many weeks, but then
oher people reported the same thing. When Céline, the very
competent and skilled webmaster from MonCoinDeJardin
complained about it, and that she had to fix a work-around,
I filed a bug report with FireFox. Hopefully they will have
that corrected in the next update.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. --- Mark Twain As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible
A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause, the doctor confessed, "Well, yes, but never with a carnation."
During a rather heated argument a teenager said, "I didn't ask to be born." His father: replied, "Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have been 'NO!!!'."
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6 year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know." The boy thought about that, then said, "Well, listening ain't easy, either."
Thanks to Moe for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Sherin Brown, 23, Brooklyn, NY Injury faker caught on tape, arrested NEW YORK (UPI) -- A New York City woman has been arrested for allegedly faking an injury after a light pole knocked down by a truck missed her, police said. Sherin Brown, 23, was walking on a Brooklyn borough street Friday when an out-of-control truck hit the pole, which fell but did not hit Brown, the New York Post reported Sunday. As police responded to the accident scene, a surveillance camera allegedly caught Brown, unharmed, lying down on the ground near the felled light fixture and telling responding officers she was injured, the newspaper said. Taken to a hospital for examination, she was arrested after police viewed the surveillance tape. Brown faces a Class A misdemeanor charge for falsely reporting an emergency, the Post said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jan Re: HP computer from eBay Dear Webby, ,enjoy reading your letters ,you are the first one I open. I am thinking about getting a new computer and I saw this one on ebay. HP DC7900 E8400 3GHz 160 GB DVDRW has Vista/Business /XP PRO Aw412VS, 3 year on site warrenty for $748. free shipping.What is your opinion. Thanks Jan Dear Jan If the 3 year ON SITE warranty is transferable to you, and you can get it with XP installed, it would be a good deal. Check out the warranty situation with HP, and how much actual warranty is left on that machine. That will give you a good idea about whether you want to depend on them. Have FUN! DearWebby Fixed the link. It works now.
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

At the candy store Judi had about 20 bags of candy. A smart-alek behind her in line told her: "You should push the air out of them. The candies might cost less if they don't have the weight of the air in them." So for a few minutes she let the air out of the bags. After she did that he told her it didn't really matter. It would have weighed the same. Judi was more confused than ever and said, "If having air in the bag doesn't weigh any more, then why does it make the bags look so fat?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create a Colorful Garden Remove old worn out evergreen shrubs from your garden beds. Plant a few variegated shrubs, hostas, a few zebra grasses and add a few interesting rocks to create a brand new colorful garden bed. By Grayce from Toronto, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Two men arrive at the Pearly Gates at about the same time, both wanting to know if they will be admitted to heaven. St. Peter asks the first man his name, where he is from, and what he did in life. The man answers that he is John Smith and that he was a taxi driver in New York City. St. Peter looks through his book, then gives the man a luxurious silken robe and a golden staff, and bids him welcome into heaven for his eternal reward. St. Peter then asks the second man the same questions. He replies that his name is Thomas O'Malley, and that he was a priest in Chicago. St. Peter looks in his book, then gives him a used t-shirt and a wooden stick, and bids him to enter into heaven for his eternal reward. Father O'Malley says, Wait a minute! Why did that taxi driver get a silken robe and golden staff while I, a priest and a man of God, got a lousy t-shirt that won't even cover my butt, and a wooden stick? St. Peter told him that the rewards in heaven are based on results, and while Father O'Malley preached, people slept, but while John Smith drove, people prayed!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
It was young Anthony's first ride in a railway train, and the succession of wonders reduced him to a state of hysterical astonishment. The train rounded a slight bend and, with a shriek of its whistle, plunged into a tunnel. There were gasps of surprise from the corner where Anthony was kneeling on his seat. Suddenly the train rushed into broad daylight again, and a small voice lifted in wonder. "Wow! It's tomorrow!" exclaimed the small boy.

» Airline Food





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XP onto a new W7 E-Machine 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 9, 2010
Neil,  long time subscriber, told me about some excellent PDF 
form filling software: Tracker. PDF Xchange. I have to admit, 
after testing so many of those programs, I was a very skeptical.
So I downloaded the free version and used it to fill out some forms, 
that had been sent to me in PDF format.

Between the first and the second form Neil told me via Skype
how to set the default font, and saved me from having to read 
the instructions. 

All the rest was quite straightforward and common sense. 
I finished those three forms, including pasting my signature 
onto them, almost as fast as I could have done it with a pen. 

When I was done, I realized that I had used maybe 2% of 
the tools available in the free version. 
Scary to contemplate what all is lurking in the paid version!
For right now, though, I am quite happy with the free version.
Thank you,Neil!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled." --- Sir Barnett Cocks "Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work." --- Laurence J. Peter "You'll find no park or city with a monument to a committee." --- Victoria Pasternak
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported."
We stopped for a quick meal and the waiter brought us each a bowl of soup. As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen, Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!" "Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?" "The soup. Taste it," replied Pa. "I beg your pardon, Sir?" "Taste it." "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent." "Taste it," Pa persisted. "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients." "Taste it!" The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, Sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?" To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... "
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged as he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks of ten years older because of your wisdom."
Thanks to my dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version He was on the Mainau island on lake Constance at some flower and garden show, and did not realize how reflective that glass was.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Janice Shields, 58, in Charlotte, NC Naked woman breaks into school after beating up husband CHARLOTTE, NC (WBTV) - A nude woman who was found inside a school in Charlotte early Monday morning is now facing charges after police say she assaulted her husband. Police found out about the incident after responding to a breaking and entering call around 4 a.m. at Jay M. Robinson Middle School, which is located at 5925 Ballantyne Commons Parkway. According to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department, Janice Shields, 58, told cops she went to a party with her husband and later found herself waking up naked in the school. Police said Shields "has a bad case of selective memory" and was not forthcoming with the details which resulted in her being found naked at the school. Cops later interviewed Shields' husband and learned that he was injured by her. He said they pulled over in front of the school early Monday morning and got into a verbal disagreement. The woman allegedly punched her husband in the face breaking his nose and causing injury to his eye. Police said she then jumped out of the truck and walked away naked. They say she later broke into the school which set off all kinds of alarms. When police arrived at the school, they called paramedics. Shields was taken to Carolinas Medical Center-Pineville where she was treated for minor abrasions on her hand. She was then taken to the Mecklenburg County Jail. She has been charged with domestic assault, and breaking and entering.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hank Re: XP onto new E-Machine Dear Webby, I have changed my ISP. My new address is: .......... Also I have a question. My old PC died. I bought a new fast E-Machine with windows 7. It has lots of RAM and hard drive space. I have an installation disc from my old machine which is Windows XP. Can I install it in my new PC without doing harm and get back into XP? Thanks, Hank Dear Hank If you have the complete XP Set-Up CD, not just a restoration CD, it should work fine. You may have to download a few XP drivers for sound cards and other components, that were not available yet at the time that CD was made, but since they do sell that machine also with Windows 7 PRO or Ultimate, which you can get with XP Pre-Installed, the company DOES have those XP drivers. Have FUN! DearWebby Fixed the link. It works now.
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

A Doctor was explaining to a friend how nature sometimes compensates for a persons deficiencies. "For example," he told him, "If a man is deaf, he may have keener sight, and if a man is blind, he may have a keen sense of smell." "I think I see what you mean," said Paddy, "I've often noticed that if a man has one short leg, then the other one is always longer."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create a Colorful Garden Remove old worn out evergreen shrubs from your garden beds. Plant a few variegated shrubs, hostas, a few zebra grasses and add a few interesting rocks to create a brand new colorful garden bed. By Grayce from Toronto, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Jon, Brian, and Bernie were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Jon won the first prize: a whole year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Brian won the second prize: six month's supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. Bernie won the sixth prize: a toilet brush. When they met in the pub a week later, Bernie asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes. "Great," said Jon. "I love spaghetti." "So do I," said Brian. "And how's the toilet brush, Bernie?" "Not so good," Bernie confided. "I'm going to have to go back to paper."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no attempt to restrain her four-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." "Nah," said the doctor calmly, "That's just poisons in there. They take some time but are quite effective. He'll be quiet soon."

» Tour of Chocolate





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How safe is Skype? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 8, 2010

We got the RAID (automatic simultaneous instant back-up) system 
disconnected on one more server today, and converted to 
intelligent back-up. With today's drives the reason for back-ups
is not bearing failure or any other mechanical failure. What we
worry about is attacks or user errors. A RAID system just copies
those problems instantly to the back-up drive, faster than anybody
can stop it. I consider that rather dumb.

So, even though that is standard, we are converting to intelligent
back-up, where we check first if everything is OK, and THEN
back up to the next hard drive. We are planning to use multiple
sets for odd and even days, so that people can revert to an
earlier version, if they got too carried away with their editing.

Learned something new today. You can't just issue a command
to stop the simultaneous back-up to the RAID drive. 
The RAID drive has to be physically disconnected, then the
prime drive has to be formatted and a NO-RAID Operating system
installed and set up, and then, finally, the former RAID drive is 
reconnected, and you can start transferring the files back onto
the prime drive.
 
That caused a lot more downtime than I had expected, and a
lot of unhappy phone calls. Sure is not boring around here!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"The best time to plant a tree, was twenty years ago. The second best time, is today." --- Socratex
One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and found out the cost was $200 one-way. Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100. Well during the flight, he was talking with the passenger seated next to him. And, in the course of their little chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear that part of the conversation and remembered from the passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him. Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive in Boston.. Why you ask?" Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this used parachute." Jean-Claude, "What for?" Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over 18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave now."
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ------- Yeah, I remember that train. It had little porches at each end of the wagons and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train is in motion is not permitted." Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the flower pickers passed the train
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The other night, Joe and his wife were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush, lipstick, and then turned to me and a dozen other mysterious concoctions, and then asked: "Does this look natural?"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Michael Wiles, 29, in Melbourne, Australia Grill-wearing motorcyclist fined $800 MELBOURNE (UPI) -- An Australian man photographed riding his motorcycle with a barbecue strapped to his body was fined $800 for careless driving. Michael Wiles, 29, who pleaded guilty Wednesday in Melbourne Magistrates Court, said he was carrying the barbecue while riding on the freeway in January 2008 because he had found it at the side of the road and wanted to take it home, the Melbourne Herald-Sun reported. Authorities said Wiles's vision was partially obscured by the steel grate of the barbecue. Besides the fine, Wiles had his license revoked for one month.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Amanda Re: How safe is Skype? Dear Webby, My daughter wants me to install Skype. How safe is that? Amanda Dear Amanda Skype is quite safe, if it is used with common sense. Don't set it to acept messages or calls from strangers, set it so that you have to approve them first. That way you can limit your contact list to just the people you know and trust. Once you have it installed, your daughter can send you a request for approval, and you can add it to your contact list. After you do that, the two of you can chat with text, and also with voice and even video, if you have a camera set up. I have used Skype to call my dad at his breakfast time, my midnight, every day for many years, and I also use Skype to provide tech support to our clients. I can highly recommend it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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On the way to preschool, a friend of mine had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Wowcome to McDonals. Do you want fwies wif that?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Scan Bulky Items for Your Scrapbook If you don't want to put bulky items in your scrapbook, scan them and cut them out. My daughter did this with some game coins, and some Mexican coins, from our cruise earlier this month. Debbie http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

On their 40th wedding anniversary, during the banquet, the husband was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. One in the crowd said, "Tell us, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" The husband said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness . . . and a lot of other disciplines that I wouldn't have needed if I had stayed single."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

» Goofy Pictures





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Comcast mail problems 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Dad told me about the sheep in Europe getting hysterical about
our tar sands projects "destroying the last little bit of natural
tundra, just to make profit for the Royal Bank of Scottland".

He knows, that all they are doing in Ft McMurray is steam-cleaning
the sand and putting it back where it came from, then planting
the same stuff back on top of it as there was before. It is
like a slowly moving construction site. And obviously, they 
haven't got the faintest clue about the size of Canada.
So he was quite amused.

They were discussing a protest march from Calgary to Ft McMurray
and asked him how to get there.
"Dat is easy. Ven you come out of the airport, go left, left, denn right.
It's at the end of dat road. You can't miss it."

He probably laughed himself a hernia picturing the sheep marching
North on the #2. For 500 miles. The few who make it, are going
to be mighty thirsty when they get to Ft McMurray!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. ---Erma Bombeck Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do so. ---Bob Phillips
Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'." "You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" "That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!"
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God!
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between the door and the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Joanna Read, 26,and Nadir Khan, 26, in Dorchester, MA Growing pot in apartment building back yard Boston police arrested two people in Dorchester on Thursday night for allegedly growing a five-foot marijuana plant in their back yard. Police said in a statement that officers responded to 37 Ellington St. shortly before 10 p.m. for a drug call and were told that the plant belonged to residents on the first floor of the building. First-floor resident Joanna Read, 26, allegedly told officers that "she does smoke weed" and later said that the plant was hers, according to the statement. Another resident, Nadir Khan, 26, later told officers that the plant belonged to him, police said. Khan and Read were both charged with cultivation of a Class D substance.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Millie Re: Comcast problems Dear Webby, i haven't got the letter from you from millie Dear Millie Looks like Comcast was bouncing your subscription and made it look like you had died or moved on to a better ISP. When subscriptions bounce, they get cut off the list. I currently don't send newsletters to the hereafter. The gang up there reads it online at http://webby.com/humor. I sent you a fresh confirmation request. If you don't get your confirmation request, you will have to get a gmail or some other reliable address on the side. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The teacher said, "An abstract noun is something you can see, but can't touch. Can anyone give me an example of an abstract noun." A teen-aged boy's hand shot up and he said, "My father's new car."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Two Meals at Once I always save time and gas in the summer by cooking two meals at once. Instead of separating my meats, I cook the whole package. That way one night we have pasta. The next night we have tacos, sloppys, whatever. All I have to do is heat up in microwave. If I am not going to use the meat within a few days, I freeze it after it is cooked. Usually in August, at night when it is cooler, I cook a few night's meals and keep them in the fridge. It is too hot to be cooking, all we do is heat it up. By Moonseekerjade from Onset, MA http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. So he simply asked: "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows, tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal wedding gown stepped to the front.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The basketball coach stormed into the university President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."

» Grand Canyon





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PDF form filling software 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, September 6, 2010
Labor Day

In the good old days I used to look forward to Labor Day. 
It always meant extra money, either working regular at double
pay, or on standby for somebody, who needed the day off.
That was even more money! 

The best job I ever had was working in a copper mine. If
the union had not gotten too greedy and forced the mine to
shut down, I would probably still be working there. Happily,
and quite profitably. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. --- George Bernard Shaw hmmmm
The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being, well, a little strange. While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school. So they went to the nearest church. But only the janitor was there. One said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?" "Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "Now go out and play." When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked, "What religion do you think we are?" The oldest one said, "We're not Katlick, because they pour the water on you. We're not Bablist because they dunk all of you in it. We're not Methdiss because they just sprinkle you." The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?" "Yes. What do you think that means?" "That means we're Pisscopalians."
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."
From Carolyn: Dear Webby, thank you once again for making the larger version of the pictures on your website. I use different ones for my wallpaper and love them all. The one today of Gananoque ON is so pretty. Thanks to all the people who send in the pictures and to you for sharing. Carolyn from IN Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to a pair of burglars in Elma, Washington Burglars tape sex session, leave camera behind ELMA, Wash. – A sex video identified the suspects in a break-in at a rural home at Elma. The Grays Harbor County sheriff's office says a neighbor who had come to collect the mail while the owner was away Monday surprised a man and woman were having sex on the floor. Chief Deputy Dave Pimentel says the naked couple fled, leaving behind the camera, which had been stolen elsewhere. Pimentel said Tuesday that deputies who checked the video recognized the couple from previous contacts. The 39-year-old woman was arrested in Montesano for investigation of burglary. An arrest warrant was issued for the 31-year-old Elma man.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alexa Re: Affordable PDF form filler Dear Webby, Is there an affordable PDF form filler out there? I searched high and low and wasted most of the weekend trying out different ones, but could not find one, that is good enough. What do YOU use? Alexa Dear Alexa I agree, there isn't one out there, that is worth downloading. They either work on just the 2-3%, that are designed to be interactive, or they make a mess. Si I just zoom the form down so that a page fits onto the monitor. With my monitor, that is 75%. Then I hit ALT PrintScreen, jump into graphics program, and paste the clipboard as a new image. When necessary, I crop the borders nice and neat. Every graphics program has a text tool. I use that to fill out the form. Unlike those half baked form filling programs, that does not obliterate the form prompts. I even have a small GIF with my signature on transparent background, that I can paste intothe signature area. When done, I save the image, copy it, and paste it into an Open Office file, and export that one as PDF. You can attach that to an email and send it back to whoever does not have a proper on-line form and wants to manually record your response. Have FUN! DearWebby
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

The closest to perfection anyone ever comes, is when he or she fills out a job application form.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pump Bottles in the Bath I keep my shampoo, conditioner and body wash in pump bottles. This way I don't spill any, and the product lasts longer. By Yarnlady from Pennsylvania http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A volcano is erupting in the Philippines. It's changed travel agency promotions for the country. The islands are now designated as either smoking or non-smoking.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A grandmother overheard her five-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be turned around and used against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride today."

» Hoodoos





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How does Clickbank work? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, September 5, 2010

Summer is over. As I type this, the outside thermometer shows
two degrees below freezing. That is the longest lasting digital 
device I got. It is actually a panel meter, made to be put
into an industrial console. I bought that in the early 80's and it 
is still as accurate as it was then.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?" -- Frank Scully "There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win." -- Elie Wiesel
From Charlie Dear Webby, do you remember that "Bridge to Hawaii" tale? Can you please bring it again? Sure I do! Here it is: A man is walking along a California beach when he stumbles across an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a genie! The genie says, "OK, OK! You released me from the lamp, blah, blah,blah. This is the fourth time this month and I am getting sick and tired of granting all these wishes, so you can forget about three. You only get ONE wish!" The man sits down on the sand and thinks about it for a while. Finally he says, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared of flying and I get very sea sick. Can you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there?" "That's impossible!" shrieks the genie. "Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?! Think of how much concrete that would take, how much steel! No! No way! Think of another wish!" He thinks for a long time and says I've been married and divorced four times and all of my wives has said that I don't care and that I am insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they are crying...know what they really want when they say "nothing"...know how to truly make them happy.... The genie says, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"
A man was going up to bed, when his wife told him he'd left the light on in the garden shed - she could see it from the bedroom window. But he said that he hadn't been in the shed that day. He looked himself, and there were people in the shed, stealing things. He rang the police, but they told him that no one was in his area, so no one was available to catch the thieves. He said OK, hung up, counted to 30 and rang the police again. "Hello. I just rang you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed? Well, you don't have to worry about them now, I've just shot them." And hung up. Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policeman said to this man: "I thought you said you'd shot them!" "Gee, I must have missed!"
Warning: This program is HUGE! It is actually simulators for many different aircraft. If you don't have a fast connection AND time to download it, or if you don't have plenty of space on your hard drive, then this is NOT for you!
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what the kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "What is it for?" one asked. "I don't know," the other replied. "I think it tells you when somebody messed up. When mom when stands on it, she gets more upset than when my sister brings her report card home."
Thanks to Jackie for this picture: I was on the 1000 Island Parkway between Gananoque ON and the bridge to Hill Island and the U.S. Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Kendall Langford in Miami, Florida Dolphin loses ear ring MIAMI (UPI) -- Miami Dolphin Kendall Langford said he lost a 2.5 karat diamond earring during practice, setting off a search of the field by teammates and grounds crew. Langford said he forgot he had the earrings in during Tuesday's practice until he realized one was missing, the Miami Herald reported Wednesday. The defensive end and his teammates combed the field with their eyes while grounds crews used rakes to see if it was hidden in the turf. However, the earring remains missing, Langford said. It's probally in hith purse.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mark Re: How does ClickBank work? Dear Webby, I read so much about people making huge amounts of money through ClickBank, but can't seem to grasp the concept. Can you please 'splain it the way you 'splain everything? Thanks Mark Dear Mark You sign up with ClickBank as an affiliate. That does not cost you anything at all. Then figure out what you and your friends are interested in, let's say for example fishing. Then you look through the ads at Clickbank for something that would interest people who like fishing, and tell your friends about it. Give them an encoded link to go to that ad. When one of them buys that fancy Purple Stinker lure, you get a commission, because they went there through your link. Naturally, on a $2.49 lure, your commission won't be a lot per lure. It adds up, though! On a book or course, like the one below here, you can make a bit more. But if they buy the $295 fish finder you tell them about, you might make 30% of that. If twenty of them buy it, then you will really be smiling. If you get yourself a $2.50 a month web site like http://mark.webby.com, and start telling fish stories on it, and show pictures of funny fishing and boating incidents, you will have a steadily growing audience, and you can show your ads to all of them! That's it in a nutshell. If you are really interested, and want to get all the gory details and links you need, an instructions on how to do it right, get that course below here. One trick I can tell you here. Whenever possible use your ads to illustrate what you are talkng about, as an example. And keep in mind, I will earn a loaf of bread, if you get that book, and it will cost you no more than if you buy it elsewhere! Have FUN! DearWebby
Earn commissions with Get Zero Cost!! (once you know how). The know-how course costs a little bit, but after that, you can make good money with no further cost to you. Highly acclaimed Clickbank course. Get Zero Cost!

Customer: "I'd like an under the mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety, $1.95 each." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?" Salesperson: "Hmmm, have you got one of those new Windows machines ?" Customer: "Yes, it's a 19" !" Salesperson: "Then you better get one of these $29.95 mousepads" Customer: "But, is it Windows 7 approved ?" Salesperson: "Well,...to be on the safe side, maybe you should better get one of these bue ones for $49.95."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Place a Wet Washcloth on Neck To Stay Cool I worked for years in a very hot environment. I found the best way to stay cool, is to buy new dish towels or hand towels. The reason I say buy some is the dish towels you already have might have a grease smell to them. I would take a supply of them to work with me. Wet one and put it around your neck (I would wet mine out of the water fountain where it would be cold. Or get a glass of cold water and pour over it). When it dried out I would just rewet it. If it got dirty I would get a clean one. Sometimes I would loan out one of my clean towels to someone who would forget to bring a towel with them.This also works great if your doing yard work or even having a yard sale. All you have to after using it is throw it in the dirty clothes and wash, to use another time. By Sharon from Vian, OK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the cop said. "When you collect three of them, you get to buy yourself a bicycle."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A number of children from the neighborhood were invited to Mrs. Johnson's for dinner. She decided to do something different while serving the meal. "Where are you originally from?" she asked one child. "California," said the boy. "Well then, I will give you the left wing." She turned to another boy and asked, "Where are YOU from?" "Alberta," he answered. And she said, "You get the right wing." She turned to the third boy and asked, "Where are you from?" He said, "I'm from New Orleans and I ain't hungry!"

» Life Savers





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Wrong default email program 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, September 4, 2010

Today I harvested the last of the rhubarb, and filled the spaces
between the cut up chunks with the last of the Saskatoon 
berries. Tangy, but sweet enough for jam or pancake topping,
without having to add sugar. Last November I found out I had
Diabetes. Because I don't get enough time for healthy outdoor 
activities, to beat that, I really have to watch what I eat and 
totally avoid refined sugar. That's no problem at all and I
don't even miss sugar any more.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot." --- Charlie Chaplin "You can't build a reputation on what you intend to do." --- Liz Smith "Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation. It is better be alone than in bad company." --- George Washington
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and shovel for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering whack with the shovel. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two fourty five in the morning!"
He loved working on Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safely on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what te kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

had been misbehaving and was sent to bed. After a while emerged and informed mother that had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you about your misbehaving, He will help you." "Oh, I don't need help with misbehavin' ", said . "I asked Him to help me not to get caught quite so much."
Thanks to Guinn for these pictures: That is a headlight on a 1918 Oldsmobile Click on the picture for the Large Version And here we see Guinn driving it. Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Dominos at Valley Station, KY, Domino's Worker Uses Customer's Debit Card For Phone Sex While Still Making Pizzas You might not think that when you call up your local Domino's to order a pizza with your credit/debit card, that the employee you just gave your sensitive information to is going to brazenly turn around and rack up $296 in phone sex charges only minutes later. Or that they'd be so stupid to use the restaurant's phone to make the call. Alas, that's exactly what a woman in Kentucky claims happened to her. A couple days after ordering her pizza from the Domino's in Valley Station, KY, a woman was stunned to find the $296 charge on her account for a company she'd never heard of. Calling the number on her card statement, she discovered the icky truth: "It ended up being charged to a sex line." The costly call was placed a mere 15 minutes after she'd placed her order at Domino's. And after talking to a disbelieving manager and being brushed off by a Domino's VP, she got some help from the phone sex company. They confirmed that the number the call had been placed from belonged to the pizza place in question. "So while this was going on, the sex line phone call, they are making food for people," she said after making this discovery. "Very gross." We're happy to say that the phone sex company has agreed to refund the women's money and say they are willing to turn over all records and recordings of the call to authorities. It was at this point that the Domino's executive changed his tune from doubtful to downright sorry:
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kay Re: Wrong default email Dear Webby, You might want to add the comment to the Flight Pro Sim that the download is huge and not for all computers. I went through the whole process, only to find out that it was so large, download only and would have to pay an additional $55 for the disks. I am unable to handle the download and am trying to get my money back. (Have not downloaded it, only having ordered it within the last half hour: it's now 10:59 a.m.) The ad states money back, so I am contacting them. They work through Outlook Express--and I don't--so you can imagine my "joy" when I get the notice that my message did not go through. I'm still trying. Any thoughts? Cay from FL Dear Cay Well, for that price you have to expect a huge download! If it wasn't, it would be a rip-off. They are a big company and just want to give you your money's worth. You might want to visit a friend with high speed cable Internet, or a CyberCafe, and download it there and burn it onto a few DVDs. By the way, they don't "work through Outlook Express". That is your browser. You have not set Gmail as the default email program, and still got Outlook Express set as the default in IE. Once you correct that, clicking on an email link will open Gmail for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
An old farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and asked for the price of their toilet paper. The company wrote back telling him to look on page #346 of their catalog. He wrote another letter to the company that said: "If you had not stopped sending me catalogs, I would not need any toilet paper."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stock up at Back To School Time I used to work in a daycare, and at back to school sale time, I stocked up on items I would need for the daycare for the year (scissors, colored pencils, markers, etc.). By Marie from Idaho Falls, Idaho ... more at http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward, "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
It's official: Rap music does cause crime. Research shows that in over half the shootings that occur on the street, the gunman is aiming at the boombox!

» France, Not just Paris





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What is the best way to back up your data? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, September 3, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

So far nobody has shown any interest in taking over 
"Celebrate The Date". While some people would be like to have 
that many fans, apparently, having to write something every day, 
is too much like work. It actually is not really that much work,
if one writes only one newsletter.

I am not too worried. Next week I will widen the circle for
spreading the news, and sooner or later, somebody will jump
at the chance.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get him. --- Obamanov "Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea." --- John Ciardi
Thanks to Sandie for this story: My niece's class assignment was to interview a senior citizen about his or her life, so she asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?" "I'd have to say the moonwalk," I replied. She looked disappointed, "Was that dance that important to you?"
Austin was flying home and listening to the flight attendant do the "safety speech" thing. Since it was a red-eye, she said the cabin lights would be dimmed. "If you need additional light, note that pressing the button with the light will turn on your perDaughteral overhead light." Then, very serious, "Please also be aware that pushing the stewardess button will NOT turn the stewardess on."
Flight Pro Simulator Professional grade flight simulator for military and civilian aircraft, all at no more, than what te kids pay for an amateur simulator or a silly game. This is a serious PRO simulator, that you won't outgrow! Fly from your rocker!

Mother: "How's your history paper coming?" Daughter: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful." Mother: "Really?" Daughter: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell history papers on that topic!"
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Stanley Lostumbo, 37 in Syracuse, NY Hour-long chase in dump truck SYRACUSE, N.Y. (AP) - Police said a 37-year-old man driving a dump truck led them on an hour-long chase over roads, rails and yards in the Syracuse area that ended with the suspect being shot. The Onondaga County Sheriff said Stanley Lostumbo jumped into a dump truck Tuesday night after being accused of stealing from vending machines at a mall. Police pursued the truck on a highway, through backyards and school grounds and down railroad tracks at speeds up to 65 mph before stopping it at a barricade in East Syracuse. Police said Lostumbo reversed the truck and hit a sheriff's vehicle and officers fired, apparently striking Lostumbo in the shoulder. He was briefly hospitalized for minor injuries.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Orville Re: What is the best back-up? Dear Webby, OK, so RAID back-up is not for today. What IS the best way to back up the data for a home business? Thanks Orville Dear Orville By far the best method is to back up to a far away bank of servers. That way, no matter what happens to your computer or your building, the data is safe. Take for example the Mozy back-up. You get 2 GB of space absolutely free. Your business data and your business software will probably take about half a GigaByte, or less. That gives you one and a half Gigabytes for archiving data by the month, and a generous collection of whatever pictures you collect. If family members also want to use your Mozy Home back-up, you can get unlimited space for under $5 a month. The back-up process is fully automated, and you don't even have to be in or near your building for it. The value you get is not just the safety of your data, but a well thought out concept and hands free automation. Have FUN! DearWebby
A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Your Garden Pots Moist With a Diaper Help your pots and hanging baskets keep some moisture by adding a baby diaper in the pot. If you decide to take away the plastic, be sure to water soak the diaper first before emptying the contents into the soil. The dust from the dry contents is not healthy if inhaled. I soak the diapers before putting them in my pots. They hold a lot of water. By kwinters from JackDaughter, MS http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A salesman from New York traveling in Kansas left his snazzy rental car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over he checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents. He went to the local garage and inquired how he could fix the problem himself. The mechanic told him to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would pop out again. He took the car to the motel where he was staying, parked it and proceeded to blow on the tailpipe. A local came by and inquired what he was doing. He explained that he was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents. The local responded, "That's not gonna to work, not unless you roll up the windows real tight first, and seal them with duck tape."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat, leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?" The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it protects me then, too." "Why do you wear that leather vest?" "It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches." "Well, why do you wear leather chaps?" "They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through rough bushes." "Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked, "Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?" "That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver."

» Visual Art Body Human





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Is there a benefit to RAID back-up? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, September 2, 2010
September first was the end of the "Celebrate The Date" newsletter,
a daily newsletter dedicated to trivia and history. 

I simply don't have the time any more. If anybody is interested
in buying that list, let me know. There are about 3000 subscribers,
and it is ranked third from the top at the Ezinefinder. 

If somebody is interested in that topic and has time, there is
good potential for income there. However, if you can not spare
an hour per day, don't bother. Once you get the hang of it, 
it will take less time, of course, but initially you should budget
at least an hour per day.

Newsletters or "Lists" like that usually sell for $1 to $3 per 
subscriber. So, if you can double your number of subscribers,
then you double your investment.


Thanks to Robert for sending a picture to use as an icon for the
link to the Archive. Are you the wizard holding up the scroll?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can'tbe done and why. Then do it." --- Robert Heinlein "Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -- Harriet Braiker "Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on." -- Ed Howe
Also known as 'women's intuition,' this sixth sense thing is no myth. Women usually seem to know what's going on in their man's lives almost better than they do themselves. Why is this? They empty his pockets before throwing his laundry into the washing machine.
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and gimme the bill." So the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times, then throws him out into the street. The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and gimme the bill." The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice. So he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street. The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the houshe a drink, gimme the bill." In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?" The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get way too violent when you drink."
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing. The boy replied: "Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Thanks to my dad for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Kyle Dubois and his parents in Dover, N.H. Thanks to Cathi for sending this info! Brain damaged idiot tries electrocution and sues teacher DOVER, N.H. — A New Hampshire high school student shocked so severely in shop class that his heart stopped beating is suing his teacher, the school district and the city of Dover. Kyle Dubois and his parents claim teacher Thomas Kelley did not warn Dubois and other students of the dangers of the electrical demonstration cords in their electrical trades class. On March 11, Dubois attached an electrical clamp to one nipple while another student attached another clamp to the other. A third student plugged in the cord. Dubois claims he was apparently injured. The New Hampshire Union Leader says Dubois' suit contends his brain damage is due to that brain dead activity. Kelley resigned from his teaching position about a month after the incident.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cindy Re: What is RAID back-up? Dear Webby, I hear a lot about RAID back-up being the best type, but with my limited knowledge and experience, I either don't fully understand it, or have real doubts about it's reliability. Wouldn't simultaneously writing the same stuff onto two drives just duplicate any problems? Cindy Dear Cindy You and me are in the same camp. In the old days, when hard drives physically wore out in a couple of years, some people thought it was a good idea, to have a new drive writing the same stuff as the old drive. That concept apparently sold more drives than simply replacing the before they wore out. Nowadays, when drives last a long time, and the threat of data loss is mostly due to hackers or software malfunction or user mistakes, the RAID concept does not make sense any more. Intelligent back-ups once a day protect your data much better, even though some techs will grumble about having to write a script that does that automatically. Have FUN! DearWebby
The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but definitely not the same ones."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Your Garden Pots Moist With a Diaper Help your pots and hanging baskets keep some moisture by adding a baby diaper in the pot. If you decide to take away the plastic, be sure to water soak the diaper first before emptying the contents into the soil. The dust from the dry contents is not healthy if inhaled. I soak the diapers before putting them in my pots. They hold a lot of water. By kwinters from Jackson, MS http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. "Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa Claus at age 5, no Easter Bunny at 6, and no Tooth Fairy at 7. And if you're going to tell me now that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh, No! I can't." the first replied, "I need to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."

» Hubble in 3D





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Where is the Archive? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Snow on the mountains in front of my window.
Sure looks pretty in the morning, when the sun hits them. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true." -- Polish Proverb
The cowboy who was preparing the horses for the tourists asked a lady she wanted a Western or an English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic out here."
Arthur came home after a late-night poker game and was greeted by Sandra, his nagging, sourpussed wife. "And just where have you been all night?," sandra screeched at him. "Playing cards," says Arthur, "but that's not important. What matters is that I lost you to Bubba Smith." "Lost me!!" Sandra screamed, "How did you manage that?" "It was a heartbreaker," Michael admitted. "I had to fold with a royal flush."
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys were hiding under their tarps and blankets to keep from being eaten alive. (Yes, Mosquitoes do prefer city slickers with soft skin) Then while they were huddled under a tarp, one of them saw some lightning bugs, and said to his friend: "Oh, NO!!! They're coming after us with flashlights!"
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Kevin Michael Harley, 23, in North Charleston, SC Burglar gets stuck in grease vent NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) -- A would-be burglar who tried to break into a South Carolina restaurant found himself in a tight and a greasy situation. The Post and Courier of Charleston reported a man tried to break into a North Charleston restaurant by climbing down a grease vent. He got stuck and had to wait almost seven hours until he could be freed. North Charleston Police said the man was discovered shortly before 5 a.m. Monday when an employee heard someone calling for help. Police arrived to find a foot dangling in a vent above a stove. Kevin Michael Harley of North Charleston was charged with second-degree burglary.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Margee Re: Where is the archive? Dear Webby, I didn't receive the last few days of your newsletter (last one received was on 8/28). I went to the website and tried to resubscribe and it tells me my address is not real (not sure what that's about). I found I could view today's newsletter online and I have no problem with that, but I would like to go back and view the ones I missed. Do you have an archive of your previous newsletters? Thanks, Margee :) Dear Margee Sounds like you have to screech a temper tantrum at Earthlink and get them to stop censoring your subscription! If they have any lame excuses, send them to http://webby.com/humor/no-sub.html The archive is at http://webby.com/humor/blog There is a link to it near the bottom of the Humor Letter. If you have a suggestion for a cool icon or picture for it, to make it more noticeable, please let me know! Have FUN! DearWebby
Aaron bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for their anniversary. His friend Benny remarked: "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive cars." "She did," Aaron replied. "But where in the world was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create a "Clean Up" CD Create a "cleanup CD". Have the family help get all the cleaning done while the CD is playing. Then when the music is done, you'll have a clean house. By fdreese1 from Richfield, MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Michael strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you've been giving to a Mrs. Rogers." "Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor's orders?" Michael says, "Since he found out that the birth control pills that you prescribed for me did nothing about my hemorrhoids, and the salve you prescribed for Mrs Rogers did not stop her from getting pregnant."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Norrissa was nervous the night her new boyfriend invited her and her three young sons to an upscale restaurant for the first time. He ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the server brought it, the children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. When the waitress poured a small amount for Norissa to taste and handed her the glass, her six-year-old piped up, "Mom usually drinks a LOT more than that!"

» Law of leftovers:





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Is that cook book legit? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Be sure to click through the picture Robert sent. It's a 
real treat! it is probably the most beautiful ocean beach 
picture I have ever seen.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


It is hard to say whether the doctors of laws or the doctors of divinity have made the greater advances in the lucrative business of mystery. --- Samuel Goldwyn
was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." TextTester looked inside and was quite amused to see an electric can opener.
"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done? My aim is a LOT better than yours!"
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded yes. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."
Thanks to Robert for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Colondra Hamilton, 36 in Elmwood Place, Ohio Woman charged for driving with sex toy while watching porn video The woman was initially stopped by the police in Elmwood Place, close to Cincinnati in Ohio, because her car had illegally tinted windows. But when the woman, identified as 36-year-old Colondra Hamilton, pulled over, the police officer discovered exactly why she might not want people to see into her car. Hamilton was discovered with her trousers unzipped, with a vibrator in her lap, while watching a porn video on a laptop, that was helpfully being held a by a friend in the passenger seat. Police Officer Ross Gilbert gave Hamilton a traffic ticket charging her with 'driving with inappropriate alertness', as well as having illegally tinted windows. She is due to appear in court next Tuesday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kay Re: Is the cookbook legit? Dear Webby Thank you for all of your advice and funny stories, would not miss a day. Just wanted to check and make sure that the cookbook you have on your site is ligitamate, and safe to down load. I'm thinking of getting it for my granddaughter. Cannot be to careful these days. Thank you Kay Dear Kay Yes, that Frugal Mom's Cookbook is quite legit. I am quite careful about what links I add, and always check them out. The same goes for all the links in the side menu. There is a lot of very good and solid information there. Have FUN! DearWebby
A vacationer e-mailed an English seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw away from the beach," he was told. "But how will I recognize it?" asked the man. Back came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Extra Veggies for Later When you have leftover fresh carrots, celery and other veggies and need to use them before they spoil, try this. Chop them up, give them a quick dip in boiling water and vacuum seal them for a quick soup, casserole or stir fry ingredient later. The package I'm making has carrots, celery and onions. Remember if there's too much water in the veggies to vacuum seal, just pop the package in the freezer for an hour or so then vacuum seal it, the liquid won't run that way. By Melmarr from Michigan http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Little Johnny's class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence with a direct object. Little Johnny stood and thought, then said, "Teacher, I think you have lost weight." "Why thank you, Little Johnny," the teacher said, blushing. "But what is the direct object?" "A good report card next month," he replied.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own TV, phone, computer and DVD player. "So what do you do?" asked his friend. "I send him to MY room!"

» Smiley Power:





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FileZilla 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, August 30, 2010

Yes, still slaving away on rebuilding the servers and uploading 
from back-ups, and re-installing users and software.
I think it rained, but I know I was working non stop and had no
time to stick my nose outside.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex
I knew a girl at work once who was truly concerned about her husband's smoking. She told me that she had finally gotten him to agree to limit his smoking at home to only those times, when they had finished making love. She had gotten the idea from a classic movie they had both seen on TV. After about a week, I asked her how it was going. "Just great ! Now how do I get him to smoke more ?"
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!" So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart, with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome.. The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!" "Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!"
Click on the picture for the Large Version Grand Tetons
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Juan Rodriguez, 30, in Holyoke, Mass. Coke hidden in sausage A Massachusetts man has been arrested after a kilogram of cocaine hidden inside a hollowed out chunk of bologna was delivered to his home. Holyoke police say they were tipped off by postal inspectors in Puerto Rico who had been investigating similar shipments. A dog confirmed the presence of drugs and the bologna was cut open. The meat was then repackaged and an undercover postal inspector delivered it to a Holyoke address at about 4:45 p.m. on Thursday where a woman sitting on the front steps signed for it. Police then executed a search warrant and arrested 30-year-old Juan Rodriguez on a cocaine trafficking charge. He is scheduled to be arraigned Friday. Police say the cocaine had a street value of $100,000. The investigation is ongoing.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Michael Re: reliable FTP program Dear Webby, I need a reliable but affordable FTP program, that is easy enough to use, so that I can get the night clerks at the front counter to use it. They are computer literate enough to play on FaceBook, but don't know anything about web pages. Thanks Michael Dear Michael I used to list more than half a dozen FTP programs in my Tool Box, but nowadays I just have FileZilla in there. It is fast, reliable, easy to use, and free. Once you set it up for them, any little kid can use it, and many do, to upload pictures from camp. Have FUN! DearWebby
The Italians have followed the ages old tradition of naming their boats with a three-letter prefix. For example: USA uses USS which means "United States Ship." The British uses HMS which means "Her Majesty's Ship." and now...Italy is using AMB which apparently means "At's-a My Boat!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Extra Veggies for Later When you have leftover fresh carrots, celery and other veggies and need to use them before they spoil, try this. Chop them up, give them a quick dip in boiling water and vacuum seal them for a quick soup, casserole or stir fry ingredient later. The package I'm making has carrots, celery and onions. Remember if there's too much water in the veggies to vacuum seal, just pop the package in the freezer for an hour or so then vacuum seal it, the liquid won't run that way. By Melmarr from Michigan http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A mother looked out a window and saw Johnny playing church with their three kittens. He had them lined up and was preaching to them. The mother turned around to do some work. A while later she heard meowing and scratching on the door. She went to the window and saw Johnny baptizing the kittens. She opened the window and said, "Johnny, stop that! You'll drown those kittens." Johnny looked at her and said with much conviction in his voice: "They should had thought of that before they joined my church."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Mrs. Trent, seated in her living room, heard the back door slam. Thinking it was her young son, she called, "I'm in here, darling. I've been waiting for you." There was no answer for a moment and then a strange voice faltered, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I ain't your regular milkman."

» SW & W Pix:





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Good and reliable FTP program 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, August 29, 2010

Still slaving away on rebuilding the servers and uploading 
from back-ups. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help." --- Judith Martin In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it. ---George Bernard Shaw Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability. ---George Bernard Shaw When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs. ---Oscar Wilde
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "The nurse told me that I will be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor. "Hmmm, then I better start learning to read sheet music!"
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


Paddy's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!"
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Paul Schlosser,25, of Standish, Maine purse snatcher thwarted by his own photobomb We know that a picture is worth a thousand words, but is a picture worth a stolen purse? That's certainly the experience of the Myers family, who recently visited Madison, Wisconsin, to attend a wedding. The family shared a pretty remarkable tale with Gizmodo. The Myers clan posed for a picture outside of the Wisconsin State Capitol building at the same moment that someone decided to walk off with one of the family's bags. When the Myerses took a closer look at the photo their camera had snapped, they noticed that they had caught the robber in the act — a felonious photobomb, if you will. In an email to the tech website, they describe what happened next: When I saw the guy with his hand in my bag, I ran back inside and found the Capitol Police. They were amazing. They immediately sent out a description of the thief using the photo I took. In a few minutes, one officer had found him still in the area. The thief had dumped some things from the bag in a nearby trash can — the flash for my camera, a small backpack of kids toys, a bag of cables, extra SD cards, my mini tripod — but still in my bag were my wallet with cash, credit cards, hotel keys, rental car keys, and my iPad. The Police recovered everything and hauled the guy off to jail. The thief denied everything and claimed to be innocent, but may have problems convincing a judge of that.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Michael Re: reliable FTP program Dear Webby, I need a reliable but affordable FTP program, that is easy enough to use, so that I can get the night clerks at the front counter to use it. They are computer literate enough to play on FaceBook, but don't know anything about web pages. Thanks Michael Dear Michael I used to list more than half a dozen FTP programs in my Tool Box, but nowadays I just have FileZilla in there. It is fast, reliable, easy to use, and free. Once you set it up for them, any little kid can use it, and many do, to upload pictures from camp. Have FUN! DearWebby
Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?' said the do-gooder. 'It's too late,' replied Murphy. 'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one. 'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing Old Sheets Just wanted to share an idea with you. I was at our local thrift shop to buy a sheet to re-cover the pads in our dogs cages and I bought a beautiful sheet for a $1.50 and find it's too nice to use in dog beds. Don't know what I will use it for now but got to thinking about all the decorating possibilities sheets have. I know some people are on very tight budgets. This might be an idea that could help. By Joan http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A 16-year old comes home and says "Dad, I just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car." Father replies, "O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, keep the yard trimmed, and cut your hair. Come back when you've done all of that." Well, a month passes and the son approaches his dad, report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?" Father replies, "But, son, you didn't cut your hair." Son says, "But, Dad, Jesus had long hair." Father replies, "Yes, son, you're right. He never got to drive either."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In South Carolina it's the season of the big mosquitos. The other evening, a man walked out into his yard and two mosquitos picked him up. As they lifted him, one says to the other, "Let's take him down by the lake and have a picnic." The other one said, "No way ! If we carry him down there, the big mosquitos will take him away from us."

» Colestr Platforms





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How nuch is reasonable for a personal web site? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, August 28, 2010

Web servers crash. Not frequently, because they are top grade 
computers, but ever since the first abacus crashed 4700 years
ago, that has been something to be feared by those involved
with them. Luckily it does not happen often, but when it does,
it is very traumatic, because nowadays it involves the work and 
livelyhood of a lot of people. 

We had a server crash on Thursday. Our servers are in the hub
of the Internet in Virginia, near the Pentagon, and we work on 
them over the Internet. There are helpful techs on site to 
replace hard drives when needed, and occasionally even assist
with troubleshooting. Sometimes, when a machine is over a year
or two old, they even route the connection to a new machine.

When that has to be done, the routing to the involved sites 
changes. That leads to more problems and can trash the 
set-up and fystem on the new machine. That happened on 
yesterday, shortly after we had finished moving the domains 
from the machine, that had crashed on Thursday onto it.

The thought of jumping off some scenic high spot becomes
quite attractive at times like that. So does regret for not
having chosen a career as Walmart greeter or hamburger
technician. I certainly would not be as broke if I had been
smart enough to choose such a career path, and I most 
definitely would have had a lot more leisure time.

Next life, maybe. Or did I already learn that in the last one, 
and now need to learn to cope with maximum stress?

I will definitely sleep well, when all the sites are up and 
running again!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a question and you're a fool for the rest of your life." --- Chinese Proverb "Questions are proof of intelligence." --- DearWebby
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you being the only one standing for the answer to THAT question."
Two Venusians are walking down the street. One Venusian finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again. Puzzled, she says to the other one, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says the other Venusian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly! It's me!!"
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, TextTester spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Paul Schlosser,25, of Standish, Maine Maine Crime Spree Doused By Hot Coffee Portland police say a man's craving for drugs sparked a one morning crime spree that included an attempt to steal an ambulance, three armed robberies and attempted theft of a cash register. Twenty-five-year-old Paul Schlosser of Standish was arrested after he was doused with hot coffee by a worker at a McDonald's restaurant as he allegedly tried to steal a cash register. The Portland Press Herald says Schlosser tried to escape by jumping into a car stopped at an ATM, but the driver refused to go and police took him into custody. Portland police Chief James Craig says police are looking into whether Schlosser was responsible for a series of unsolved crimes in the city's West End on Thursday morning. Craig says no one was hurt in the crime spree.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: personal web site Dear Webby, How much would it cost per year for a small personal web site with just more or less a family album of pictures and stories about family members? I know I can do something like that on Facebook, but that is a lot of rigmarole and I get pestered by all kinds of people, that I prefer to forget about. I am by no means a computer expert, but I know how to use email and word processing, and I can mess with pictures and resize them. Alice Dear Alice A complete package, including registering a domain for you, setting up the site for really easy updating, and coaching you to get comfortable with updating your site, is $375. Renewing for any year after that, once you had a year's worth of personal coaching, is only $100 per year, or $10.50 a month. You still get full support and coaching when required, but after a year people require a lot less staff time. That is why we can lower the price so drastically. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them automatically said, "Hello, Father." The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no father, you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and got three kids!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Recycled Plastic Bag as a "Glove" This idea may sound kind of silly, but I always reuse ziplock plastic bags after turning them inside out and squirting a little dish washing liquid in them and scrubbing them good inside and out. Here's the silly part, I always seem to have one lying by my kitchen sink so twice now I have placed one over my hand and used it for a scrubbing assistant. It is a good way to protect my hands when I need to scrub something out of the kitchen sink that is a little bit yucky. I also used one once over my hand to scrub off meat drippings on a bread board before I intensified the scrub on the bread board even more. I don't always like using my kitchen sponge/scrubber for certain things so the 'used' plastic bag as a hand glove and scrubbing helper worked like a charm. I could then throw my 'instant' cleaning glove in the garbage knowing I had used it already multiple times, once for storing and then again for quick scrubbing. Sounds silly but it works for me! By Kghornsten from Davis, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"I'm so worried," the nervous patient said as the nurse plumped up his pillows. "Last week, I read about a man who was in the hospital because of heart trouble and he died of malaria." "Relax, Boris" the nurse said, smiling. "This is a first-rate Russian hospital. When we treat someone for heart trouble, he dies of heart trouble."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The most remarkable thing about Ernie's mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

» Lab Pixies





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Setting Gmail up for POP 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, August 27, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Getting cold at night and reminding me that the warming 
ripple is over, and we are back to 70's style weather again.

The Saskatoon berries sure are getting sweet and juicy, 
almost over ripe. I hope to squeeze out some time today to
go pick a few punds.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. --- Bob Hope When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. --- Hermann Hesse
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago to Bison, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there ! Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?" Customer: "What's the difference? Same animal!" The agent replied: "That may be so, but flights to Buffalo are a lot cheaper. Do you want to fly to Buffalo, NY ? You can take a cab from there to Bison." Customer: "Yes, sure, whatever."
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check. The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I take a check from you ? I don't even know you !"
Thanks to Robert for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Shane Alexander, 20, Jason Vantress, 30 in Portlan, Oregon Cops Stop Shoplifting Suspects At Shop-With-A-Cop Event PORTLAND, Ore. -- A store full of police officers didn't deter two men from stealing items from a southeast Portland Fred Meyer, officers said. Portland police said 20-year-old Shane Alexander and 30-year-old Jason Vantress took shoes, clothes, tools and blenders from the Johnson Creek Fred Meyer Store on Southeast 82nd Avenue on Wednesday morning during the seventh annual Shop with a Cop event. Dozens of police cars and mounted patrol units were in the parking lot the morning of the incident. Portland police said they helped arrest the men, who were caught stealing on surveillance video, and turned them over to store security officers. The suspects were then taken to Clackamas County Jail. Sixty uniformed police officers participated in the charity event, which allowed 150 children from the Boys and Girls Club of Portland and Rose Community Center to shop for back-to-school clothes. Donations from Fred Meyer and the bureau's Sunshine Division gave the kids $30,000 to spend on supplies and other necessities.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rusty Shoulders Re: How to set Gmail to POP Dear Webby, please tell me again how to make gmail, pop3 and will i still be able to check it from any computer anywhere -- Believe and you will be rewarded Rusty shoulders Dear Rusty here is the link with illustrated answer: http://mail.google.com/support/bin/answ ... swer=13273 Usually you can still check your gmail with a browser, even when it is set to POP, since you still use the browser interface for changing the settings. Have FUN! DearWebby
was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said. turned the machine on, gestured for the CEO to insert the paper, and press the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Citrus Peels to Keep Cats Out of Plants My sweet kitty just loves when I dig up the dirt to plant my flowerbeds and thinks that she's discovered a new litter box! After trying other methods: sprinkling in hot pepper (nope), cayenne pepper (nope), even adding clam shells into the soil (nope), I tried this. I heard that animals don't like citrus and so after making orange-lemonade (3 oranges, 3 lemons and sugar to a gallon, YUM). I slivered up the peels and sprinkled them around in my flower bed, under petals so they didn't show. You may also even add soil to empty citrus fruit peel halves and plant some small flower seeds and use them as pots! It worked! No more kitty visits! I ended up doing the same around my vegetable garden fencing since a groundhog started making his rounds there soon after! Hope this helps all my creative friends out there! :D By AHA! from Sterling, PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!" "Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine." "What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question." "I'm sorry, your Honor," the startled witness said, "With that fancy wording, I thought he was talking to you."

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Nigerian mail from Illinois 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, August 25, 2010
Gorgeous summer day again. I could get used to this!
Have not had to put the top up on the car for quite some
time now. My car is a bright red 91 Chrysler LeBaron ragtop, 
that I bought for $1000 a few years ago, when my previous
car broke a connecting rod and threw a piston through the 
wall. It is noisy inside and has an expesive sounding squeak
in the water pump area, but runs quite OK. 

On beautiful days like this it makes even a boring mail and 
bank run a pleasure. If I could afford a newer car, I don't
think I would be in any hurry to replace the old LeBaron.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


A person who trusts no one can't be trusted. --- Jerome Blattner The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. --- John Russell
A frantic mother told the pediatrician, "My baby has a high temperature!" "How high is it?" "102." "How are you taking it?" "Oh, I'm holding up pretty well!"
Captain - "How did you attain such proficiency in bayonet thrusting?" Private - "Reaching for steak at our boarding house."
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking
This is not just another cookbook!
Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes.
You will have more free time every day!
Save money with once a month cooking
and frugal recipes.
The digital version of this $70 cook book
is only $12.95 and includes an extra
eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!


Junior was one of those holy terrors and dad was quite surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday. "Do you really believe that'll help improve his behavior ?" he asked. "Well, yes," she said, "it will be a lot more peaceful INSIDE the house."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture by her friend TJ Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to Stacy L. Erickson, 27, in Sheboygan, Wisconsin Passed out in the drive-through A 27-year-old Sheboygan woman passed out drunk in her car while trying to place an order in a McDonald’s drive-thru, according to court documents filed this week. Police officers summoned by employees found Stacy L. Erickson slumped over and snoring inside her 1991 Ford Escort, according to a criminal complaint. The incident occurred about 3:40 a.m. July 30 at the McDonald’s at 2425 S. Business Drive. Officers’ initial attempts to rouse Erickson were unsuccessful, but she woke up after they turned off the car and tried again. Erickson had to grab the car to steady herself as she got out, and she failed field sobriety tests. Erickson is charged with misdemeanor THIRD-offense drunken driving and faces up to a year in jail, if convicted. She is scheduled to make an initial court appearance Aug. 30.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ray Re: Nigerian mail Dear Webby, I've been getting a load of e-mails from all the creeps in Nigeria wanting to give me millions of dollars. Somehow my address got placed on the creep list. Is there some way to block these by blocking the IP number they are coming from. For instance, they are all coming from 67.195.15.nn (the last two number are always different). I can't block them by the from address as it is always different. The last time I had this problem I resorted to changing my e-mail address. I'm using webmail on AT&T (Yahoo) and sometimes Outlook (Depressed). Appreciate your help and appreciate your daily letter, always read it first. Ray Dear Ray I just use Mailwasher to send them to hell, murdered in the dark right on the server, unseen by any human. However, I don't use IP numbers for filtering mail. The block of IP numbers, that you are concerned about, is allocated to ISPs in Illinois. The spam you got, was sent by infected computers somewhere in Illinois. You can look up who owns those IP numbers, and get after that ISP to inform their clients. I simply look for what is common to those letters, and make a filter using those common words or phrases. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches. While they thought they were getting away with it, the 6 foot six 300 pound owner wrote on the "Specials" blackboard by the cash register: "Today's Special: Tuna sandwich, $11.95". When it came time to pay, he charged them for the tuna sandwiches. They protested, but since they had eaten a tuna sandwich that was not their own, they had the choice of paying or washing dishes for the rest of the day. They paid.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Egg Cartons For Craft Organization I save egg cartons of both kinds cardboard and Styrofoam. I use the bottom of all sizes in the Styrofoam to use when I do watercolor painting. They can be used for any painting medium and also for crafting. I use them and then toss them out after my day of painting for mixing colors. You can also either the Styrofoam or cardboard cartons for all sorts of crafting or sewing, for storing beads for Jewelry making, for any kind of small items to keep you organized. By handbaglady from Manahawkin, NJ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Q. The truth of the matter is that you are not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas? A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The drunk was brought into night court, having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried. "I was going to a lecture." "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, schure," said the drunk. "Schometimes my wife schtarts 'em even later than that."

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How to learn about laptops without a manual 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The bottom most leaves on the raspberry bushes took a hit 
of frost last night. But the plants are healthy and look like
they will have a good crop of berries next year. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts. --- Harold Nicholson When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, 'The handle is one of us!' --- Turkish proverb
A travelling salesman finds himself stranded in the tiniest town in Australia. He knocks on the door of a little hotel. "Sorry, we don't have a spare room," says the manager, "but you're welcome to share with a little red-headed schoolteacher, if that's okay." "Oh, that'll be great," says the bloke, grinning from ear to ear."And don't worry, I'll be a real gentleman." "Just as well," says the manager. "So will the little red-headed schoolteacher."
Psychology was tried on a difficult hiccough case. All simple remedies had failed and the physician, knowing that his patient was an old tightwad, resorted to a stratagem. He administered a new, cheap medicine. This drew from the patient an inquiry as to its contents. "Chiefly musk," said the doctor. "But isn't that the expensive stuff they use in perfumes?" "Yes," said the doctor. "Each dose of this costs thirty dollars." The hiccoughs immediately stopped.
Frugal Mom's Guide to Once a Month Cooking This is not just another cookbook! This unique Oamc guide Step-by-step instruction, over 70 delicious recipes. You will have more free time every day! Save money with once a month cooking and frugal recipes. The digital version of this $70 cook book is only $12.95 and includes an extra eBook as a bonus. That's a DEAL!

There was an elderly southern widow who lived in a large mansion. She was feeling generous when it came towards the holiday, so she called up the local military base, and asked to speak with the lieutenant. "Please send up four nice young men to eat dinner here on the holiday, but please, don't send any Jews. Please, no Jews." The lieutenant replied, "No problem ma'am, and I am sure I speak for the army when I say we all appreciate your kindness." Well, the holiday rolled around, and the widow went to answer the door when it rang. She was surprised to see four of the blackest boys that anyone had ever seen, especially in the South. "But... But... There must be some mistake," she stammered. One of them replied, "No ma'am, lieutenant Morris Goldstein doesn't make mistakes."
Click on the picture for the Large Version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and goes to two parents in Hopewell Junction, NY Mother, father and daughter stopped at checkpoint; parents arrested A husband and wife were arrested Sunday and charged with driving while intoxicated after the vehicle their child in was stopped at a checkpoint, East Fishkill Police said. Officers at a checkpoint operated between midnight and 5 a.m. Sunday stopped a vehicle after observing marijuana paraphenalia inside, police said. The vehicle was occupied by two 18-year-old boys and two 15-year-old girls, all of whom live in Hopewell Junction Parents of all four teens were called to pick up their children, but the 46-year-old mother of one of them was observed to be intoxicated upon her arrival, police said. The 46-year-old was arrested and the teen-ager was released to another adult at the scene, police said. Two hours later, the same child’s father, a 45-year-old Hopewell Junction resident, drove through the checkpoint and was observed to be intoxicated, police said. He was arrested and both parents were charged with driving while intoxicated, a misdemeanor, police said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hank Re: Learn about laptops Dear Webby, I purchased a used Toshiba Laptop. There was no owners manual. Is there a website where I can Learn to operate this new toy? I have never had a laptop so I know nothing about one. Thanks for your help, hank Dear Hank It's just a computer, that is portable and that will run for a while on a battery. There are a few extra settings in the Power Options in the control panel. Other than that, everything acts the same as on a desktop computer. The battery will gradually deteriorate and hold shorter and shorter periods and usually needs top be replaced every 2-3 years. You usually get a few extra months out of a battery, if you let it drain down to nothing once in a while. Make absolutely sure that you never forget the battery charger and cord anywhere! If you try a generic charger, you will fry the on-board power supply, and will need a new motherboard. That would cost you twice as much as a new laptop. There is something on Toshibas that suicides, if it detects a generic charger. You CAN get third party Toshiba chargers for Toshiba laptops. Those are cheap, and won't fry the motherboard. But it has to be one specifically made for that model Toshiba. It's a good idea to have one of those sitting at home, so that it can be FedExed to you, if you forget yours in a hotel. They disappear instantly and hopes of getting them back even an hour after you check out, are zero. That's about it. Whatever works on your desktop, will also work on the laptop. Have FUN! DearWebby
A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and how he should repent at once, he asked if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the heart attack. The patient responded, "Don't be ridiculous, the attack had only lasted 6 hours."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fill Detergent Cup at End of Dishwasher Cycle Immediately upon emptying my dishwasher I put the detergent in the cup. That way if the cup is closed, the dishes are dirty. I use the little packets and they don't dry out. Saves a lot of "are the dishes clean or dirty". By Halfwhit from Ashdown, AR http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A well worn dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty arrived at the bureau of Engraving and Printing to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to the shredder they struck up a conversation. The twenty reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life." the twenty proclaimed. "I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise from Miami." "Wow!" said the single, "you really have gotten around." "So tell me", says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian Church, the Lutheran Church, the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church, Assembly of God Church, the Brethren Church, the United Church of Christ, ...." And the twenty says, "What's a church?"

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