How many copies of Open Office before you have to pay? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 30.

Thanks to Noella for the info about the Dallas photographer:

Here's the photographer & his web site
"Looking Up" by Mike Mezeul II
https://mikemezphotography.smugmug.com/Night-Sky/i-KpRzTb5/A
September 27 at 10:59 p.m.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man arrested for tossing 'deadly urine' at cop Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 30, in 1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers. -- Arthur Koestler ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure He's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and He is always ready to help you when you need Him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?" ______________________________________________________ A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" he asked. The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Nancy doesn't go to church much anymore. She's a Seventh Day Absentist. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alfonsa Loftin, of West Palm Beach, 40, West Palm Beach, Floriduh
Florida man arrested for tossing 'deadly urine' at cop A Florida man is behind bars after being accused of tossing a liter of "deadly urine" at a police officer. Alfonsa Loftin, of West Palm Beach, was arrested Tuesday morning after a Palm Beach County deputy responded to a call at his house. When the officer knocked on the 40-year-old man's door, the suspect allegedly greeted him with a big splash of urine from a liter bottle, according to the Palm Beach Post. It is unclear who — or what — supplied the urine. Police are describing the pee as a "deadly weapon" because urine can cause respiratory infections or permanent bodily harm, according to the report. Loftin then barricaded himself in his house for several hours. Police tried unsuccessfully for several hours to get Loftin to surrender before they kicked a hole in his door and shot him with a stun gun. Police attempted to arrest Loftin, but the 6-foot, 3-inch, 300-pound suspect allegedly resisted by kicking, flailing and tossing more urine, according to WPBF.com. Police said Loftin threw the open one-liter bottle at deputies before grabbing a K-9 officer by the head. That is probably when they tenderized him. They don't like it at all when somebody touches their K-9. Loftin was arrested on two counts of aggravated battery on a police officer and two counts of resisting an officer with violence. He remains in the Palm Beach County Jail on $36,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elsinore Re: How many copies of Open Office are legal? Dear Webby How many copies of Open Office can a company have, before they have to strart paying? Elsinore Dear Elsinore One Gazillion, I think. There is no limit. Open Office uses the Open Standard and is totally free and unlimited. You can have as many copies on as many computers as you want, all networked together and/or separate. Open Office is free. Period. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ His wife phoned Abe in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." "Good" replied Abe, "make sure she's well BBQd". ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Salt Clay This clay is really cool. It is way cheaper than the stuff at the hobby shops! If you add alum, it will eventually harden on its own. If not, you can bake it and you are ready to paint your project and display it. Have fun! Approximate Time: a few minutes Yield: 1 large ball Supplies: 1 1/2 cup salt 4 cups white flour 1 1/2 cup warm water, more if needed 1 tsp alum, for self hardening, optional Steps: Put your salt and flour in a large bowl. Mix well. Add your water, mix well. Turn out onto the table and this is what you should have. I added about 6 tablespoons more water. Whatever you do, add it gradually. Too much water will ruin your clay. Knead till smooth, smiley face optional. If you have added alum, simply leave your project out in the open air and it will eventually harden. If not, bake small shapes in a 300 degree F oven for 30-40 minutes, or until hard. Store unused clay in an airtight container. Source: Little Hands art book By melissa [191] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While my son was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submaweenes." ___________________________________________________

ferry docking in Greece
____________________________________________________ In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? In Canada they say: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you kow where the beer is?" In England they say: "Its 11 o'clock. Do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?" In Afghanistan they say:" Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?" ____________________________________________________
These pilots are pretty awesome.

Today, Sept 30, in
1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. 
1777 The Congress of the United States moved to York, PA, due 
 to advancing British forces. 
1787 The Columbia left Boston and began the trip that would 
 make it the first American vessel to sail around the world. 
1846 Dr. William Morton performed a painless tooth extraction 
 after administering ether to a patient. 
1868 Spain's Queen Isabella was deposed and fled to France. 
1882 In Appleton, WI, the world's first hydroelectric power 
 plant began operating. 
1935 "The Adventures of Dick Tracey" debuted on Mutual Radio Network. 
1935 "Porgy and Bess" premiered in Boston. 
1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease Adolf Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's German speaking 
 Sudetenland to be annexed by the Nazis and returned to Germany. 
1946 An international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, 
 found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes. 
1949 The Berlin Airlift came to an end. The airlift had taken 
 2.3 million tons of food into the western sector despite the 
 Soviet blockade. 
1951 "The Red Skelton Show" debuted on NBC-TV. 
1954 The U.S. Navy commissioned the Nautilus submarine at 
 Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered vessel. The 
 submarine had been launched on January 21, 1954. 
1963 The Soviet Union publicly declared itself on the side 
 of India in their dispute with Pakistan over Kashmir. 
1966 Albert Speer and Baldur von Schirach were released at 
 midnight from Spandau prison after completing their 
 20-year sentences. Speer was the Nazi minister of armaments 
 and von Schirach was the founder of Hitler Youth. 
1971 A committee of nine people was organized to investigate 
 the prison riot at Attica, NY. 10 hostages and 32 prisoners 
 were killed when National Guardsmen stormed the prison on 
 September 13, 1971. 
1976 California enacted the Natural Death Act of California. 
 The law was the first example of right-to-die legislation 
 in the U.S. 
1980 Israel issued its new currency, the shekel, to replace 
 the pound. 
1983 The first AH-64 Apache attack helicopter was rolled 
 out by McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Company. 
1982 "Cheers" began an 11-year run on NBC-TV. 
1989 Thousands of East Germans began emigrating under an 
 accord between the NATO nations and the Soviet Union. 
1989 Non-Communist Cambodian guerrillas claimed that they 
 had captured 3 towns and 10 other positions from the r
 esiding government forces. 
1990 The Soviet Union and South Korea opened diplomatic relations. 
1991 Haiti's first freely elected president, Jean-Bertrand 
 Aristide, was overthrown by Brigadier General Raoul Cedras. 
 Aristide was later returned to power. 
1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed at 
 turning millions of Russians into capitalists. 
1993 U.S. chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell 
 retired. 
1994 The space shuttle Endeavor took off on an 11-day mission. 
 Part of the mission was to use a radar instrument to map remote 
 areas of the Earth. 
1997 France's Roman Catholic Church apologized for its silence 
 during the persecution and deportation of Jews the pro-Nazi 
 Vichy regime. 
1999 In Tokaimura, Japan, radiation escaped a nuclear facility 
 after workers accidentally set off an uncontrolled nuclear 
 chain reaction. 
2014 Amazon filed for a patent for a UAV (unmanned aerial 
 vehicle) configured to autonomously deliver items to customers. 
 The patent was related to Amazon's plan for their Prime Air 
 service. 
2015  smiled.


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How to revert Skype from 7 to a better version 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, September 29.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania girl, 16, who doused school guards with gasoline, then tried to set them on fire Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 29, in 1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi National guard in response to city officials defying federal court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith at the University of Mississippi. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. --- Mo Udall ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up. He then asked, "Did anyone drop a half dollar?" "I did," answered three men at once. "Well," said the elderly gent with a smile, "here's a dime of it." ______________________________________________________ >From Lillemor For those of my older generation (like me) who do not really comprehend the need for Facebook: Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then, I give them pictures of my family, my dog, me gardening, and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations, and I tell them I love them. And, it works. I already have three persons following me ... two police officers and a psychiatrist ______________________________________________________ Tim Durkan Photography From Tim: It's been a long but exciting night that I'm just getting home from! Lugging 40lbs of gear around town, months of planning and a TON of good luck weather wise finally paid off! For those interested - the photo I shared is one shot (non layered) taken on a Nikon D750 body with 200-400mm telephoto lens. I had 4 cameras, 4 lenses, 4 tripods and a VERY good assistant tonight THANK YOU Brother Paul Stevenson! Nikon And here is Dallas, sent in by SexySassySatin No name of the photographer yet. Dallas After spending 5 hours on a rooftop with an incredible view of Dallas, the photographer was able to create this composite image showing the moons transition from full moon, to full lunar eclipse, and back. Each moon image was shot approximately 10 minutes apart to capture the entire transition. Shot on a Nikon D810 #Nikon ______________________________________________________ Charlie followed the Priest before the next race. Again, the Priest went to the stables and blessed another horse. Charlie quickly put two dollars on that horse and won close to fifty bucks! The Priest kept blessing horses and Charlie kept betting on them and they won! The last race of the day was the biggest and Charlie saw the Priest with that horse, also! He quickly went to his bank and withdrew his life's savings of $20,000, went back to the racetrack and put it all on that horse! He watched the race in certain anticipation of leaving a millionaire! The horse was last to cross the line and Charlie was dead broke! He couldn't believe what happened so he went looking for the Priest. He found the man and asked, "What happened to that last horse you blessed? Because your blessing didn't work, I've lost all of my money!" The Priest said, "That's the trouble with you Protestants. You can't tell the difference between a blessing and the Last Rites!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Imani Knight-Brantley, 16, Wilkinsburg, Pennsylvania
Girl, 16, doused school guards with gasoline, then tried to set them on fire A Pennsylvania girl doused school security guards with gasoline and then attempted to light the victims on fire, according to investigators who have charged the teen with numerous felonies. In retaliation for a run-in last week with a guard, Imani Knight-Brantley, 16, returned Monday to her Pittsburgh-area high school carrying a two-liter Sprite bottle containing gasoline. According to police, Knight-Brantley was booted from Wilkinsburg High School Friday after being caught using a cell phone in class. She later returned to get food at an after-school program, but was again escorted from the building by guard Brandon Murray. As she was being removed the second time, Knight-Brantley threw a milk carton at Murray. As detailed in a criminal complaint, Knight-Brantley confronted Murray upon returning to the school Monday. Police allege that she splashed gasoline on Murray and a second security official. As the guards grappled with Knight-Brantley, she tried to ignite the gasoline with an outdoor grill lighter. After police arrived to arrest Knight-Brantley, students were evacuated due to the smell of gasoline throughout the school. According to court records, Knight-Brantley faces four counts of aggravated assault and causing or risking catastrophe, both felonies. She is also charged with misdemeanor weapons possession and reckless endangerment counts. Knight-Brantley, who has been charged as an adult, is being held in the Allegheny County jail in lieu of $100,000 bond. As seen in the above booking photo, the teen has the word “Love” tattooed on her neck. Pennsylvania law bars anyone under the age of 18 from being tattooed, unless the minor’s parent or guardian has consented to the inking and is present for the tattooing.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annamarie Re: Skype Dear Webby I was really careful to always refuse to Update Skype to Version 7.0 after I had seen it on my daughter's computer. 7.0 stinks! But today they somehow snuck it in. I had too many tabs open on Chrome, and McAfee was doing a scan, and I had too many programs open. The machine almost crashed, and while I was frantically tryiing to close stuff, they sleazed in their update in the background. Bastids! As you may have noticed, once a Skype update has started, the bastids won't let you cancel or stop it. So I wound up with the ugly and slow 7.0 Yuck! I tried running the carefully saved 6.20 setup, but it bombed with the message that I had a newer version installed. @#$%&!!! Now what? Annamarie Dear Annamarie I found that uninstalling Skype does not mess up the history or the contact list, but it is best to save it anyway. Hit the Windows key and R to get the RUN field above the START. Type or paste: %appdata% You see a huge mess of folders and files about all kinds of programs, including Skype CTRL-drag the Skype folder onto a camera chip or removable drive, where Microsoft can't touch it. You can CTRL-drag it onto the desktop, and from there onto a save place. Once your data is safe, do the Windows key and R trick again and this type paste appwiz.cpl That gets you to Programs, Uninstall in the Control panel without mousing around. Highlight Skype, right-click and select Uninstall. It will whine a bit but eventually 7.0 will go away. Don't worry if the desktop icons will all go blank during that. They will come back. Once everything has settled down, you can run the 6.20 installation and normally all your contacts and history will come back. If they don't, copy the back-up back to where you got them from. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Amazing! Even Hillary doesn't need that many gunslingers protecting her! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Concrete Patio Look Like Brick I painted the entire patio with a grey porch/patio paint and was not happy with the look. So I next used narrow masking tape to tape off the brick pattern. I then used a red brick color and an old paintbrush to paint the bricks (I mixed a little black acrylic paint with the red to make it look more authentic). It has worn fairly well and only needed a few touch ups each summer. I love the way my patio looks now and it sure beats the cost of installing brick pavers! By Marianne from Trenton, Ohio You can mix old-fashioned Poly-Filler into the Porch/Patio paint. It makes it less slippery when wet, and MUCH more durable. Don't use any of the soft drywall repair compunds. You need REAL Poly-Filler or Poly-Filla. You can apply it with a large puddle moover squeegee. The small ridges you might wind up with make it look even better. If some of the squeegee ridges are too high, you can sand them with a belt sander. That is when you find out that the porch-patio paint / Poly-Filler combo gets as hard as concrete. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for quite some time now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any more." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, I personally placed an order for them just a couple of days ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked if we had any?" "Rapes in the parking lot." ___________________________________________________

ferry docking in Greece
____________________________________________________ During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When Bubba asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "No way," Bubba said, "Ol' Blue don't need none. He's getting too shortsighted fer doin' the drivin'." ____________________________________________________
Some of these weird history facts I didn't know.

Today, Sept 29, in
1789 A regular army was established by the U.S. War Department 
 with several hundred men. 
1829 The first public appearance by London's re-organized police 
 force was met with jeers from political opponents. The force 
 became known as Scotland Yard. 
1930 Lowell Thomas made his debut on CBS Radio. He was in the 
 radio business for the next 46 years. 
1943 U.S. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower and Italian Marchal Pietro 
 Badoglio signed an armistice aboard the British ship Nelson. 
1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" debuted on CBS Radio. 
1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi 
 National guard in response to city officials defying federal 
 court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith 
 at the University of Mississippi. 
1963 "My Favorite Martian" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1967 The International Monetary Fund reformed monetary systems 
 around the world. 
1977 Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a heavyweight 
 title boxing match. About 70 million people watched Muhammad Ali 
 defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV. 
1982 In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules of 
 Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 
 264,000 bottles were recalled. 
1983 The War Powers Act was used for the first time by the U.S. 
 Congress when they authorized President Reagan to keep U.S. 
 Marines in Lebanon for 18 more months. 
1984 Irish officials announced that they had intercepted the 
 Marita Anne carrying seven tons of U.S.-purchased weapons. 
 The weapons were intended for the Irish Republican Army. 
1984 Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most 
 beautiful woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at the 
 time in the Betty Ford Clinic overcoming a weight problem. 
1988 The space shuttle Discovery took off from Cape Canaveral 
 in Florida. It was the first manned space flight since the 
 Challenger disaster. 
1990 "Millie's Book" by First Lady Barbara Bush was the 
 best-selling non-fiction book in the U.S. 
1992 Brazilian lawmakers overwhelmingly voted to impeach 
 President Fernando Collor de Mello. 
1993 Bosnia's parliament voted overwhelmingly to reject an 
 international peace plan unless Bosnian Serbs returned land 
 that had been taken by force. 
1994 The U.S. House voted to end the practice of lobbyists 
 buying meals and entertainment for members of Congress. 
2008 The Dow Industrial Average lost 777 points. It was the 
 largest one-day decline to date. The drop came after the U.S. 
 House of Representatives had voted down a $700 billion bank 
 bailout plan. 
2010 In China, Canton Tower became operational. 
2015  smiled.


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IP-TV 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, September 28.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man arrested for bigamy announced in church, while wife #1 was present. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 26, in 1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The best way out is always through. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both. --- Al Franken, ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, " What did you ask me?" She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?" Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce." ______________________________________________________ The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he continued on for another twenty minutes, repeating his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one older gentleman in the rear. "Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," replied Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty six," was the reply. "Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to eighty six and not have an enemy in the world." The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around. "It's easy. I outlived all them rotten no-good sumbeeches!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Celicourt 49, Pine Hills, Floriduh
Florida man arrested for bigamy announced in church, while wife #1 was present. She was at church when she found out. The pastor, standing at the altar in front of everyone, announced her husband, Patrick Celicourt, had married another woman. With the congregation laughing, Mitha Plaisimond ran from the church and started researching. The 57-year-old showed up at the Orange County Sheriff's Office a few days later with copies of the old, and new marriage licenses in hand. Celicourt, 49, is now facing charges of bigamy and making false official statements, records show. He was arrested Wednesday on a warrant and booked into the Orange County Jail. He has since been released on bail. Celicourt and the other woman applied for a marriage license in March, records show. Plaisimond found out in April when the pastor announced the new marriage at the End Time Sabbath Worship Center near Pine Hills where she regularly attended. "When it became time for the announcements on the altar, they announced that my father 'Patrick Celicourt' was newly married to another woman while still being married," the couple's daughter wrote in a Sheriff's Office report. Records show the couple, originally from Haiti, had been married for more than 21 years, have children together and own a home in northwest Orange County. Plaisimond told deputies Celicourt tried to sell the house without her knowing. She had documents to prove that, too. Celicourt filed for a divorce in June, records show. Plaisimond and two of the couple's children filed domestic violence injunctions against Celicourt following the marriage announcement, but each was denied. It is unclear if the pastor knew Celicourt and Plaisimond were still married when the announcement was made.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: IP-TVbox Dear Webby Hi Mr. Webby; Well I went out and bought a "Roku media box" only to see that it was just a bunch of apps that wants you to rent from them - and the so call free movies - were something back from the 50's that no one wants to see - i mean this was soooo bogus - i disconnected this and took it back the next day! Ok, so now I bought a "IP - Tv" box and hooked it up yesterday and got into it - it has a "Ubuntu OS" base system with apps - along with an android system. I like this better than that roku box - now I have a question for you - do you know how to tell what you bought (like a windows computer) - I mean in windows you can right click the monitor icon and it will tell you what the specs are - and or is there a bios in this media box? - I am new to this - so I just want to know if I got what it said! Here is the link on what I bought - IP-TV Box Eddie Dear Eddie I don't think that is computer related, and I don't have a clue about it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes." "I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie. "Marge," whispered Mildred. "What?" said Marge. "I think the guy next to me is a pervert." "What makes you think so?" asked Marge. "He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred. "Well, don't worry about it," said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all." "Yes," said Mildred, "But this one's eating my popcorn!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Ramen Noodle Flavor Packets I empty the packets into clean salt shakers, using each flavour separately. That way, you can use a little to add a bit of spice to many dishes. I pick up shakers at yard sales, so no extra cost! By Faye Dutkiewicz [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Fall camping tips: To win the race for fastest set-up on multi-family camping trips, tell your kids that NOBODY gets to go to the outhouse until all your tents are set up and the stuff moved into them. When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. When using a public campground, a violin or viola placed on your picnic table will mysteriously dissappear, and some nearby camp fire will burn extra hot. Wires as used for "strings" on many stringed instruments such as violas make excellent snare wire for catching rabbits, squirrels and night-time raiders of your beer cache. When smoking a fish, don't inhale. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. Hot enchiladas or pizzas do NOT work. After they permanently melt into your sleeping bag, you will have a permanent cold spot in that location. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. If you set up a tent to be sheltered from the wind while ice-fishing, do NOT sleep in that tent. Somebody will get up at night and step into the hole. Extracting a foot with a sprained ankle firmly wedged into the hole in the ice tends to cause foul language that scares the fish away. If a family member has borrowed your ice auger to drill a fence post hole, it is a good idea to mark and identify that auger with a hack-saw by cutting it into little bitty pieces. That is best done cool and calm, before you carry it up to that mountain lake. Salmon eggs in little pouches made from old pantyhose work better for ice fishing than any other bait or lure, and if you don't get permission to use some bits of pantyhose, remember that salmon eggs are just deluxe caviar at one tenth the cost, and are great with devilled eggs. Building a fire in the dry spot under a tree with overhanging branches is a dumb idea, either the snow will slide off and put your fire out, or the tree will catch on fire. Putting your tent under a tree is also a bad idea, especially in the rain. A tent will shed rain, but the slow, fat drops coming from a tree will spray through and slowly dampen your sleeping bag. Also, a tree will continue to drip long after the rain has stopped. You can compress the diameter of a rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car. Tempting as it may be to "just-do-it", it IS considered good manners to tell your mother-in-law to get out of her sleeping bag before that procedure. ___________________________________________________

best of talking animals
____________________________________________________ A burglar went to the bank and pointed a gun on the cashier and said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." The burglar answered, "Dangit, don't change the *subject*!" ____________________________________________________
Be careful, don't fall! 3D street art that looks so real.

Today, Sept 28, in
1066 England was invaded by William the Conqueror who claimed 
 the English throne. 
1542 San Diego, CA, was discovered by Portuguese navigator 
 Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo. 
1687 The Turks surrendered Athens to the Venetians. 
1781 During the Revolutionary War, American forces began the 
 siege on Yorktown, VA. 
1850 The U.S. Navy abolished flogging as a form of punishment. 
1850 U.S. President Millard Fillmore named Brigham Young the 
 first governor of the Utah territory. In 1857, U.S. President 
 James Buchanan removed Young from the position. 
1892 The first nighttime football game in the U.S. took place 
 under electric lights. The game was between the Mansfield State 
 Normal School and the Wyoming Seminary. 
1915 The British defeated the Turks in Mesopotamia at 
 Kut-el-Amara. 
1924 The first around-the-world flight was completed by two 
 U.S. Army planes when they landed in Seattle, WA. The trip 
 took 175 days. 
1939 During World War II, Germany and the Soviet Union agreed 
 upon a plan on the division of Poland. 
1955 The World Series was televised in color for the first time. 
 The game was between the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers. 
1967 The first black mayor of Washington, DC, Walter Washington, 
 took office. 
1972 Communist China and Japan agreed to re-establish diplomatic 
 relations. 
1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian 
 peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. 
1978 Don Sherman, editor of Car & Driver, set a new Class E 
 record in Utah. Driving the Mazda RX7 he reached a speed of 
 183.904 mph. 
1990 The Game Boy handheld video game device was released 
 in Europe. 
1991 In response to U.S. President Bush's reduction of U.S. 
 nuclear arms Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev promised 
 to reciprocate. 
1995 Yasser Arafat of the PLO and Israeli Prime Minister 
 Yitzhak Rabin signed an accord that transferred control 
 of the West Bank. 
1997 The 103rd convention of the Audio Engineering Society 
 (AES) was held in New York City, NY. The official debut of 
 the DVD format was featured. 
2000 The U.S. Federal Drug Administration approved the use 
 of RU-486 in the United States. The pill is used to induce 
 an abortion. 
2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones arrived at the U.S.-Mexico 
 border to complete the first known continuous hike of the 
 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They started 
 the trek on June 8. 
2015  smiled.


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Is W10 a security risk ? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, September 27.

The wind changed to NorthWest and the skies cleared. Now
the moon is super bright and sharp as a steet light. It is
now too bright to see the craters and mountains, just a
very bright button, and appearing smaller than yesterday's
big, slightly fuzzy harvest moon. 
Still pretty out, but a definite fall chill in the air.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who was arrested for assaulting girlfriend when she read ex-boyfriend's obituary Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 26, in 1825 George Stephenson operated the first steam locomotive that hauled a passenger train. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) "If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if YOU can use either one, it's a miracle." --- Jack Adams ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce. ______________________________________________________ In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. One of the old farmers stood up and said, "What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she even knows how many toes a pig has?" Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots Jake, and count them yourself!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son. If you don't ask questions,... you'll never learn anything!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Tackett, 38, Bradenton, Floriduh
Florida man arrested for assaulting girlfriend when she read ex-boyfriend's obituary A Florida man was arrested after he assaulted and strangled his live-in girlfriend. He is evidently the most jealous and insecure boyfriend who ever lived. Police say 38-year-old Jason Tackett went crazy because his girlfriend was reading her ex-boyfriend's obituary on her phone. Apparently feeling a little jealous and upset about possibly losing her to a dead ex, Tackett flew into a rage and "began tearing the house apart.” He then threw the woman to the floor and held his hands over her mouth and nose, leaving her unable to breathe. Neighbors called police. Tackett was arrested for domestic battery by strangulation. He was released on $10,000 bail and ordered to stay away from the woman.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Faye Re: Is W10 a security problem? Dear Webby Is it true that W10 is a huge security and privacy problem? Faye Dear Faye From what I have read, security is not too bad. Considering how China has obtained and sold the bank and tax info and the fingerprints of 50 Million federal employees, by comparison W10 is actually not bad. The word from above is that when you install W10 your should not accept ANY defaults, and select "Customize" whenever you get a chance. The defaults apparently are an open barn door. The same applies to Privacy. Sure, Microsoft collects any and all data from your weight to your bra size and/or inserts, and of course your spending habits. Relax, they don't personally look at your data and discuss them during company committee meetings or coffee breaks. With Billions of victims, that would be totally impossible. They just collect the data and make pretty graphs. The graphs show that female W10 victims average bra size is 32 B and spending habits are 104% of her income. Of course they also list shoe buying preferences. Yeah, so what? Sure they sell that info to anybody and everybody in marketing anywhere in the world. They do not indentify you. While some people get annoyed about browser ads gluing to previous searches, for example if you search for Flax seeds, then all of a sudden the ads are related to flax seeds, even if you already found a distributor and bought a big bag full. That is just your search engine trying to be helpful. Again, there is nobody recording what YOU searched for, as long as you stay off certain topics, that the Feds require notification about. Currently those topics are: Explosives, ISIS, terrorism and Child Porn. However, even with those topics, they just record your enails and browsing. As long as you don't actually DO anything bad, nobody looks at it. Remember the Boston Marathon bombers? The CIA and the FBI DID have all their data, and it helped them to catch their associates, but it took the feds a month to actually read and analyze the recorded data. And those were supposedly high profile evildoers! As long as you don't get caught with anything really evil, nobody will look at your data. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Baseball in the Bible? It all started "In the Big Inning." Eve stole first. Adam stole second. Abraham made a sacrifice. Jacob struck out. The prodigal son made a home run. Everybody played baseball until the fall of the Roam Umpire. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rubbing Alcohol for Cleaning Hard Water Spots I was having trouble getting water spots off my windows until my neighbor suggested using alcohol. I used 91% rubbing alcohol from the drugstore that I already had in the house and paper towels. I didn't even have to scrub. The spots came off like magic. By Karen B. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, "but the store is full of mothers." ___________________________________________________

alien song - an oldie
____________________________________________________ Trishia is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-nine, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trishia," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet." ____________________________________________________
Pilots do know how to party!

Today, Sept 26, in
1779 John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British over 
 the American Revolutionary War peace terms. 
1825 George Stephenson operated the first steam locomotive that 
 hauled a passenger train. 
1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist 
 Chinese Government. 
1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors 
 in China. 
1939 After 19 days of resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered 
 to the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the 
 Soviet Union during World War II. 
1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and 
 economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and 
 Japan. 
1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 
1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was 
 barred by France. 
1970 "The Original Amateur Hour" aired for the last time 
 on CBS. It had been on television for 22 years. 
1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and 
 Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by 
 the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of 
 Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. 
1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buyout Sony 
 Corporation for $3.4 billion. 
1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in 
 a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the 
 first duo to ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 
1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General 
 Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" 
 that Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land-
 based tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range 
 nuclear arms from ships and submarines around the world. 
 Bush then called on the Soviet Union to do the same. 
1995 The U.S. government unveiled the redesigned $100 bill. 
 The bill featured a larger, off-center portrait of 
 Benjamin Franklin. 
2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced 
 that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent 
 nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that 
 the weapons were to serve as a deterrent against increasing 
 U.S. nuclear threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast 
 Asia. The U.S. State Department noted that the U.S. has 
 repeatedly said that the U.S. has no plans to attack 
 North Korea. 
2015  smiled.


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Does Defraggler erase programs? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 26.

Check out the moon!
It is gorgeous. Probably best of the year.
It is not the sharpest, but the grain dust in the air
mellows it just a bit, and makes it look even bigger.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kansas drunk, who stole a combine and went traveling. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 26, in 1962 "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS-TV. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. --- Dale Carnegie "I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them." --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When I found this recipe, I thought it would be perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try. BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN 6-7 lb. chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn salt/pepper to taste small plastic bag and duck tape Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing. Put the popcorn into a small heavy duty plastic bag and seal thoroughly with duck tape. Tape up the chest opening of the chicken with duck tape. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the front (door) of the oven. Listen for popping sounds. When the chicken blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the kitchen, it is done. And, you thought I couldn't cook. ______________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma is really looking forward to pay the bill," she smiled. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A 6 year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees". When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kenneth M. Lamb Jr., 37, Ellinwood, Kansas
Kansas drunk stole a combine and went traveling. ELLINWOOD, Kansas – Around 9:46 p.m. Tuesday evening, officers were called to the area of Northeast 10 Road and Northeast 120 Ave near Ellinwood. When they arrived on scene, they found an abandoned vehicle in the roadway. It was located and impounded by deputies. Shortly after, calls came in saying someone was driving a combine just East of Ellinwood in a reckless manner. The combine was reported weaving from ditch to ditch on U.S. 56 highway. It struck a guy wire and caused damage to power poles near the intersection of Southeast 10 Road and U.S. 56 Highway. It then continued West and entered the city of Ellinwood around 10:47 p.m. The driver drove through a residential neighborhood, striking several power poles and a 2005 Cheverolet pickup truck parked on the road. The pickup truck sustained extensive damage and the 8-row combine header was torn from the combine. An Ellinwood police officer attempted to contact the driver around 10:52 p.m. While doing so, the driver put the machine in reverse and rammed the Ellinwood police car. The combine driver fled the scene and a chase ensued. The combine then proceeded down several more side streets and drove South out of town on the county blacktop. The combine was all over the road, traveling with no lights. A sheriff’s deputy was able to get in front of the suspect and set a roadblock just South of the Arkansas River bridge. The suspect rammed the deputy’s patrol car, dragging it a considerable distance, causing extensive damage and disabling the unit. The deputy and Ellinwood officer fired approximately 18 rounds at the combine in an effort to disable it. The driver was taken from the implement and arrested. The driver was identified as Kenneth M. Lamb Jr., 37 of Ellinwood. The combine was stolen near the area where Lamb’s vehicle was found abandoned in the roadway. Lamb was arrested and booked for aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, felony theft, felony criminal damage to property, and reckless driving. The case is still under investigation. More charges will probably be added, for example DUI.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: Does Defraggler erase programs? Dear Webby, does the defraggler erase all your programs? DJ Dear DJ No, it doesn't. It offers to dump the recycle bin to make some elbow room, but it doesn't delete programs or anything else, that is not already in the Recycle Bin. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time, and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired." So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays," Neville then said, "Na, maite, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya blimey idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, aiy!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easiest Dishwasher Magnet This is the easiest dishwasher magnet to make and will last for years. Take a clean plastic lid (I used an icing lid) and cut the edge off. Write "clean" on one side and "dirty" on the other with a Sharpie marker. Use stick-on magnets with a really strong adhesive. Stick one on one side and one on the other. That's it, you're done. By Abigail A. [12] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!" ___________________________________________________

The Page Turner
____________________________________________________ They were burying Irish Pat today and the priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of us MUST get up and say something nice about the man.It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His sister was worse!". ____________________________________________________
The beautiful and talented Ana Rucner performs Storm by Vivaldi in the beautiful Plitvice Lakes National Park in Croatia.

Today, Sept 26, in
1777 Philadelphia was occupied by British troops during 
 the American Revolutionary War. 
1908 Ed Eulbach of the Chicago Cubs became the first 
 baseball player to pitch both games of a doubleheader and 
 win both with shutouts. 
1908 In "The Saturday Evening Post" an ad for the Edison 
 Phonograph appeared. 
1918 During World War I, the Meuse-Argonne offensive against 
 the Germans began. It was the final Allied offensive on the 
 western front. 
1950 U.N. troops recaptured the South Korean capital of Seoul 
 from the North Koreans during the Korean Conflict. 
1955 The New York Stock Exchange suffered its worst decline 
 since 1929 when the word was released concerning U.S. President 
 Eisenhower's heart attack. 
1960 The first televised debate between presidential candidates 
 Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy took place in Chicago, IL. 
1962 "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1964 "Gilligan's Island" premiered on CBS-TV. The show aired 
 for the last time on September 4, 1967. 
1969 "The Brady Bunch" series premiered on ABC-TV. 
1980 The Cuban government abruptly closed Mariel Harbor to end 
 the freedom flotilla of Cuban refugees that began the previous 
 April. 
1981 The Boeing 767 made its maiden flight in Everett, WA. 
1985 Shamu was born at Sea World in Orlando, FL. Shamu was the 
 first killer whale to survive being born in captivity. 
1986 The episode of "Dallas" that had Bobby Ewing returning 
 from the dead was aired. 
1991 Four men and four women began their two-year stay inside 
 the "Biosphere II." The project was intended to develop 
 technology for future space colonies. The project was 
 cancelled in 1993 when they got caught ordering pizzas.
1996 Shannon Lucid returned to Earth after being in space 
 for 188 days. she set a time record for a U.S. astronaut 
 in space and in the world for time spent by a woman in 
 space. 
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Born-Alive 
 Infants Protection Act. The act states that an infant would 
 be considered to have been born alive if he or she is 
 completely extracted or expelled from the mother and breathes 
 and has a beating heart and definite movement of the 
 voluntary muscles. 
2001 In Kabul, Afghanistan, the abandoned U.S. Embassy was 
 stormed by protesters. It was the largest anti-Amercian 
 protest since the terror attacks on New York City and 
 Washington, DC, on September 11. 
2001 Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Foreign 
 Minister Shimon Peres announced plans to formalize a 
 cease-fire and end a year of fighting in the region. 
2006 Facebook was openened to everyone at least 13 years 
 or older with a valid email address. 
2015  smiled.


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How does Defraggler compare to Diskeeper? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, September 25
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
>From Cora: Hi Webby, The answer you gave the lady about getting that message not to get her computer fixed....It is a scam. On our local news just last night they gave a report that a man called them about that very same thing. The man fell for it gave his credit card.................... You got it, they used his card and charged a large amount on it. Cora Dear Cora I got similar reports too, that TurboYourPC fakes problems with your computer, then wants money to fix the fake problems, and even if you uninstall, you will find that it changed stuff like browser search engine preferences from Google to Yahoo, Windows Phone settings all messed up, and so on. It is best to save your money and just do the common sense procedures, that I recommended. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today, September 25, in 1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Chocolate Factory Worker Arrested for Making Bomb Threat So He will Be Fired Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 25, in 1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. --- William J. H. Boetcker "You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." --- Tom Wilson "But he that dares not grasp the thorn, Should never crave the rose." --- Anne Bronte (1820-1849) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!" ______________________________________________________ Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you please thank her for two pies?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?", he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' " ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kristofer Pregent 22, St. Albans, Vermont
Chocolate Factory Worker Arrested for Making Bomb Threat So He will Be Fired Police say a Vermont chocolate factory worker hated his job and wanted to get fired, so he did the first thing that came to mind: He called in a bomb threat. Police say 22-year-old Kristofer Pregent stole a co-worker's cellphone and made the false threat under a different worker's name Monday night at the Barry Callebaut chocolate factory in St. Albans. Police say Pregent then threw the cellphone in a toilet tank. He first told police he received a bomb threat, then later said that didn't happen. He told officers he was unhappy with his job and wanted out. Pregent was charged with false public alarm, petit larceny and unlawful mischief. Apparently they expect the owner of the drowned phone to deal with him personally, when he gets out of jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Steve Re: How does Defraggler compare to Diskeeper? Dear Webby, How does Defraggler compare to Diskeeper? As always Thank You for a entertaining & informational newsletter. Steve J Dear Steve Diskeeper is $69 When it had problems with high resolution and wide monitors I stopped promoting Diskeeper. That was a few years ago. Defraggler is free, even the PRO version is quite affordable. It doesn't run just when a screen saver is active, it runs when you tell it to, but you can get fragmentation down to 1% or less. That makes the choice quite obvious. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A pastor told his congregation that he was going to do a 4 point message series over the next few weeks. Whatever word I end on", he told them, "I want you to sing a song that goes with that word". The 1st week the word was Rock. So the congregation sang "Rock of Ages". The 2nd week the word was Assurance. So they sang "Blessed Assurance". The 3rd week the word was Cross. They sang "At the Cross". The 4th week the word was sex. The congregation was baffled at what to sing. Finally an 85 yr old woman stood up from the back of the church and started singing "Precious Memories". Try singing that song next time without laughing. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Amazing Unpoppable Bubbles My little niece loves when we blow bubbles together, but there's always a little frown on her face when she's chasing them and they pop. I was buying her these little tubes of unbreakable bubble solution that worked okay, but not great. Here's a recipe to make your own that are very durable. Approximate Time: 3 minutes Yield: One jar of bubble solution Supplies: 1 cup distilled water 1 Tbsp dish soap 1 tsp glycerin 1 jar 1 straw Steps: Mix all ingredients in jar, shake well, and let sit for a day. If you have a very clean glove or sock, you can put it on your hand and even catch the bubbles! By attosa [122] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic." ___________________________________________________

what a sound engineer does
____________________________________________________ Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds! ____________________________________________________
Rest in peace Yogi.

Today, Sept 24, in
1492 The crew of the Pinta, one of Christopher Columbus' 
 ships, mistakenly thought that they had spotted land. 
1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his 
 second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 
1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer 
 Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of 
 Panama. He named the body of water the South Sea. He was 
 truly just the first European to see the Pacific Ocean. 
1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the 
 American Revolutionary War,leading the attack on Montreal. 
1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by 
 General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico. 
1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. 
 National Park in Central California. 
1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto 
 in which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 
1933 Tom Mix was heard on NBC Radio for the first time. 
 His show ran until June of 1950. 
1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began 
 operation between Newfoundland and Scotland. 
1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black 
 students were escorted to class at Central High School 
 in Little Rock, AR. The children had been forced to 
 withdraw 2 days earlier because of unruly white mobs. 
1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific 
 Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 
1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed 
 a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major 
 League Baseball could not bar female writers from the locker 
 room after the game. 
1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a 
 potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm 
 after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning 
 system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off 
 when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted 
 sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy 
 missiles. 
1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off 
 Cape Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around 
 $400 million. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air 
 embargo against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 
1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide 
 arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring 
 factions. 
1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old 
 Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his 
 biological parents. 
1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost 
 $980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it 
 reached Mars in August of 1993. 
2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue 
 foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between 
 government troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted 
 to take over the government on September 19. 
2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.
2015  smiled.


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Is TurboYourPC Scamware? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 24

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman who assaulted her estranged husband, while he was carrying a GoPro camera recording her assault Details at Boneheads Today, September 24, in 1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Dance like it hurts, Love like you need money, Work when people are watching. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Joe: I see you've lost weight since you started your new job. Did your boss put you on a diet?" Amy: No, she put me on commission. ______________________________________________________ The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: Dancing trees ______________________________________________________ A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Corinne Novak, 37, Dunedin, Pinellas County Floriduh
Abusive wife was arrested after GoPro on US Army Ranger records her attack. A woman in Florida allegedly attacked her estranged US Army Ranger husband and then threatened to report to police that he was the aggressor — but fortunately for him, it was caught on a GoPro video, and now she’s behind bars. The low blow was caught on a GoPro that the man, Michael Novak, had started carrying with him due to numerous instances, where he said he’s had to use a camera to either prove her guilt or prove his own innocence, according to a WTSP report. The woman, 37-year-old Corinne Novak, was taken to jail by Pinellas County deputies. The two are involved in an ugly divorce and custody battle over their twin 2-year-old children. Michael attaches the GoPro to his belt with a parachute cord to make sure every single encounter he has with his wife is fully documented. Fortunately for him, the GoPro had a fairly wide angle scope on it that catches much of the action, even from very close up. The footage in question comes from a custody exchange last week, when Michael went to reach into the back of the car to unbuckle one of the sons. Suddenly, he screams and jerks backward, and a frame-by-frame review of the footage appears to show her hand as she grabs his genitals. Michael said he was hopeful the footage would be helpful in a future court appearance to disprove his wife’s claims and prove his own, as men are often not believed in domestic disputes. Michael Novak had reportedly been frustrated by previous attacks and decided he needed video evidence that Corinne Novak was out of control and abusing him — both in an attempt to prove his own claims, and to protect himself from her claims. The couple has been at odds for a while, so Michael Novak began taking steps to protect himself from what he says are false accusations, and to prove to the court his wife’s behavior. The full video shows Novak reaching into a vehicle to unbuckle one of his sons, when Corinne Novak sneaks up behind him and appears to strike him in the testicles. The incident apparently happened on the morning of Sept. 17 in the town of Dunedin. Michael says in the video, “What the **** is your problem?” while Corinne responds, “Why are you assaulting me?” immediately after the alleged testicle-grabbing. “Call the police, I’m going to tell them you just assaulted me,” she can be heard saying on the video shortly after this altercation. Michael Novak said he believes that she came at him from behind because she knows he wears the camera. Corinne Novak is being held on domestic violence charges. They have been married for 11 months, according to a News Channel 8 report. Michael Novak said he has lots more video of her actions, including one video where she tased him while his arms were loaded with groceries. In the latest video, the mother was waiting to pick up the boys for visitation. She was arrested after a Pinellas County deputy reviewed the GoPro video.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jaye Re: TurboYourPC scamware? Dear Webby, Webby, is this for real??? "1 Reason Not To Buy A New Computer Do you have a slow Computer? Do Not buy a new PC or call a PC repair company. One simple tip is saving people Across the globe Thousands Of dollars... Jaye Dear Jaye With that much hype I would bet it is a scam. The truth is that an old XP machine is indeed just fine for WORKING. Look at the Millions of machines at the store checkouts, all running either XP or Linux. Look at all the old XP machines in accounting offices, working just fine. Look at the old XP machines used for word processing in Millions of offices, WORKING just fine. I have seen even Windows 98 machines running WordPerfect and cranking out letters as fast as the ladies did in the 80's on PCs with IBM DisplayWrite, when they were paid according to how many letters they did from tape or steno. As long as you don't need to run modern games or social media, and just WORK, the old machines are fine. Even if you use the machine for occasional playing and browsing and goofing around on the Internet, XP machines are still fine. There are lots of people who have refused to change to W2000, ME, VISTA, W7, W8, W10. They all say that as long as the old clunker still works and works faster than their neighbor's W10 machine, they are in no hurry to switch. Just follow the instructions I gave you a week or so ago. UNinstall all unnecessary programs. Defrag your hard drive. Use PC-Mechanic to optimize the registry safely And occasionally use Crap Cleaner to get rid of unnecessary crap. Then your old machine will run almost as fast as when you bought it. That was pretty fast, right? There is a free program called "Should I Remove It" at http://www.shouldiremoveit.com/ that will help you find long forgotten programs that you once tried and never used again. That too requires YOUR actions. It only recommends what you can safely remove. It probably also reminds you of a program or two that you thought you lost, because Windows moved it's icon off the edge. Well worth running that! And it is free! The truth is that no program can do those 4 steps all alone. YOU have to decide which unnecessary programs to dump, when and how to defrag, etc. If a program claims it can do all that for a mere fist full of money, tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine. By the way, if you want to throw money at that "TurboYourPC", first get the Revo-Uninstaller, so that you can get rid of every part of it, when you see that it is just BS. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ On a cruise to Alaska, I saw my very first glacier in the magnificent Inside Passage. Excitedly, I asked the ship's officer what it was called. "It's some dumb glacier," he replied. Disappointed by his attitude, I bought a map to figure it out myself. I spotted our location and found the name of the ice mass. It was called, just as he'd said, "Sumdum Glacier." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Meatball Clouds A super simple, low cost appetizer or main dish for Sunday football parties! Approximate Time: 40 minutes, including prep Yield: 10 clouds Ingredients: 2 packages buttermilk biscuits (the small kind that come 10 in a box) 10 medium sized meatballs (any kind, I used leftover turkey meatballs) 5 pieces string cheese 2 Tbsp minced garlic 1 cup tomato sauce, divided (I used Prego, any kind works) Steps: Preheat oven to 375 F. On a baking sheet, press out one container of biscuits until dough is flat, about one inch apart. Sprinkle garlic on the dough, add a meatball. Dice string cheese into 4 even pieces, add 2 pieces, one to each side of meatball. On the counter top, open the second package of dough, flatten out, then top each meatball creation with the second pocket of dough, pinching the edges. Repeat with 9 additional dough rounds. Bake for 30 minutes, broil for 2 to get nice browned look. Serve with 1/2 cup each of tomato sauce for dipping. Link: www.triingforbalance.blogspot.com By Rae G. [17] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ WHY WOMEN GET OUT OF BED . . . A recent survey was conducted to discover why women get out of bed in the middle of the night. 5% said it was to get a glass of water 12% said it was to go the bathroom and check the email 83% said it was to go home. ___________________________________________________

Felix Baumgartner - Red Bull Stratos - Complete Space Jump - GoPro
____________________________________________________ The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job," he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." The painter thanked him and agreed to do that. Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope," replied the painter. "I'm a man of my word. I'm here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked." ____________________________________________________
Interactive street art in Malaysia is brilliant.

Today, Sept 24, in
1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a 
panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to 
 corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. 
1929 The first all-instrument flight took place in New York 
 when Lt. James H. Doolittle guided a Consolidated NY2 
 Biplane over Mitchell Field. 
1933 "Roses and Drums" was heard on WABC in New York City. 
 It was the first dramatic presentation for radio. 
1955 U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower suffered a heart attack 
 while on vacation in Denver, CO. 
1957 U.S. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to Little 
 Rock, AR, to enforce school integration. 
1960 The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. 
 The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. 
1963 The U.S. Senate ratified a treaty that limited nuclear 
 testing. The treaty was between the U.S., Britain, and the 
 Soviet Union. They all ignored it.
1968 "60 Minutes" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1995 Three decades of Israeli occupation of West Bank cities 
 ended with the signing of a pact by Israel and the PLO. 
1996 The United States, represented by President Clinton, and 
 the world's other major nuclear powers signed a Comprehensive 
 Test Ban Treaty to end all testing and development of nuclear 
 weapons. They all promptly ignored it.
1998 The U.S. Federal Reserve released into circulation $2 billion 
 in new harder-to-counterfeit $20 bills. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush froze the assets of 27 suspected 
 terrorists and terrorist groups. 
2015  smiled.


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Why does Defraggler get defragmentation only down to 11% 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 23

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida felon, who got busted for a driving stolen car to meet probation officer, and carrying a loaded gun. Details at Boneheads Today, September 23, in 1642 The first commencement at Harvard College, in Cambridge, MA, was held. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) "Talent develops in quiet places, character in the full current of human life." --- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man entered a barbershop and said, "I am tired of looking like everyone else. I want a change. Part my hair from ear to ear!" The barber nodded and said, "Are you sure?" His customer said, "yes," so the barber did as he was told, and the satisfied gentleman left the shop a happy man. Three hours passed and the man reentered the barber shop. "Put it back the way it was," hesaid. "What's the matter?" said the barber. "Are you tired of being a non-conformist already?" "No," the customer replied, "I'm tired of people with bad breath whispering at my nose." ______________________________________________________ A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He was trying every excuse in the world, trying to get out of it but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the Grey suit with those shifty eyes and that dishonest face and I said, "He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty." So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!" With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box. That's his lawyer." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man was being proselytized by group of friends: "Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind's relationship to God." "I'm married; I learned long ago that my opinions don't matter." "But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?" "Wherever my wife tells me to." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher John Smith, 38, Flagler, Floriduh
Florida felon got busted for driving stolen car to meet probation officer and carrying a loaded gun. Bringing a loaded gun to a visit with a probation officer is strange, but going to the meeting in a stolen car is bizarre even for Florida. Deputies in Flagler County arrested Christopher John Smith, 38, Monday on a probation violation charge. Smith was sentenced to three years probation last July on charges of resisting an officer and felony battery. Authorities said he showed up for the meeting with his parole officer with a silver Raven Arms .25 caliber pistol stuffed in a bag, according to the Daytona Beach News Journal. Police said there was no round in the chamber but there were five rounds in the magazine. Officials detected the weapon when he walked into the probation office, according to NewsDaytonaBeach.com. No other weapons were found in the Ford Focus that brought Smith to the meeting, but investigators discovered the car had been stolen from a St. Johns County Dollar Rent a Car on Sept. 1. Smith told deputies he did not know whether he'd rented the car or if he'd made payments, saying his "business partners" handled those details, according to FlaglerLive.com. Police said Smith couldn't provide the names of people or companies he's working with who were responsible for paying for the vehicle. When Smith asked his parole officer why he was asking so many questions, the officer said he was just trying to figure out why Smith was in possession of a stolen Ford. At that point, Smith invoked his right to remain silent, according to the Daytona Beach News Journal. Smith remains in the Flagler County Jail without bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Glennis Re: Defraggler only gets 11% Dear Webby, I tried the defraggler, but it only gets fragmentation from 44% down to 11%. What am I doing wrong? Glennis Dear Glennis That is just the default setting. It does not bother with small, low priority stuff like little pictures and such. Just go intoi the settings and play with them. Set the minimum size of files to defragment to 0, and so on. Then in the lower window below the drive map, click on File List. In there, sort it by Fragments, so that you have the files with the highest number of fragments on top. Select as many as you want, or all. Then click on Defragment selected files. Naturally, with a huge hard drive that will take a lot of time, that is why you can select just the worst ones and get a very drastic reduction in overall fragmentation. You can do just the worst ones one night, and then do the next batch some other time. As you probably noticed, you can do other work wile it is defragging, but disk intensive work is slowed down while Defraggler works. You can pause or stop defragging any time, but if you have to shut down or reboot, stop Defraggler first. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Cold Tea For Itchy Eyes My eyes get very itchy during allergy season, despite eye drops. I find cold tea helps when all else fails. I usually put on cold tea compresses or use cotton balls but, during the day, it seems to help to use cold tea applied with an eye dropper. It really eases those inflamed tender tissues around the eyes. Note: you have to make a fresh batch daily, this will not keep. By Pamphyila from Los Angeles Used tea bags from regular, old-fashioned tea laid on the closed eyes for a minute work very well to relieve itching, burning or sandy feeling. Green tea or other fashion teas don't seem to help with that. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman ! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" The witness replied meekly, "MY mother did." ___________________________________________________

Contagious Subway Laughter
____________________________________________________ Teacher: Max, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a sentence. Max: The rabbit ran across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail. ____________________________________________________
Great driving skill in this Russian ice skating car ad. The ice skaters aren't bad either.

Today, Sept 23, in
1642 The first commencement at Harvard College, in Cambridge, 
 MA, was held. 
1779 John Paul Jones, commander of the American warship Bon 
 Homme, was quoted as saying "I have not yet begun to fight!" 
1780 John Andre, a British spy, was captured with papers 
 revealing that Benedict Arnold was going to surrender West Point, 
 NY, to the British. 
1806 The Corps of Discovery, the Lewis and Clark expedition, 
 reached St. Louis, MO, and ended the trip to the Pacific 
 Northwest. 
1845 The Knickerbocker Base Ball Club of New York was formed 
 by Alexander Joy Cartwright. It was the first baseball team 
 in America. 
1846 Astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovered the planet 
 Neptune. 
1912 "Keystone Comedy" by Mack Sennett was released. 
1930 Flashbulbs were patented by Johannes Ostermeier. 
1952 The first Pay Television sporting event took place. 
 The Marciano-Walcott fight was seen in 49 theaters 
 in 31 cities. 
1957 Nine black students withdrew from Little Rock Central 
 High School in Arkansas due to the white mob outside. 
1973 Overthrown Argentine president Juan Peron was returned 
 to power. He had been overthrown in 1955. His wife, 
 Eva Duarte, was the subject of the musical "Evita." 
1986 Japanese newspapers quoted Prime Minister Yasuhiro 
 Nakasone as saying that minorities lowered the 
 "intelligence level" of America. 
1990 Iraq publicly threatened to destroy Middle East oil 
 fields and to attack Israel if any nation tried to force 
 it from Kuwait. 
1991 U.N. weapons inspectors find documents detailing Iraq's 
 secret nuclear weapons program. The find in Baghdad triggered 
 a standoff with authorities in Iraq. 
1993 The Israeli parliament ratified the Israel-PLO accord. 
1993 Blacks were allowed a role in the South African government 
 after a parliamentary vote. 
1999 A 17-month-old girl fell 230 feet from the Capilano 
 Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver, British Columbia. The girl 
 had bruises but no broken limbs from the fall onto a rocky ledge. 
2015  smiled.


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Filter email but exclude mail from friends 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, September 21

>From Efa re thumb drives for Linux
If your going to suggest USB thumb drives. I would have them 
make it with persistence that way they can save wifi or 
other settings.

I would also make a caveat about sound cards and other 
auxiliary that can sometimes be a little more challenging. 
It's a lot better than I remember from before.

Fedora 22 is a 1.3 gb image using there windows tool you 
can make up to 4gb persistent part.
Mint I think the last I checked was 1.3 to 1.6 gb for 17.

If someone needs a penguin type in the Boston area I might 
be able to assist.

It was a welcome surprise to find 8.1 had a image burner 
baked in. 
Efa

Hi Efa
All the flavors of Linux I tried coped with standard sound 
cards quite well. Only with home-made high performance
game machines would one have to expect a bit of a hassle
finding drivers for new, not yet popular sound cards.
Personally I have not seen any problem with sound cards.

Connecting to the Internet seems to have been practically 
built in as the basic foundation, but setting up local 
networks often requires a bit of help from a friendly 
penguin the first time around.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvanian heroin addict who stabbed himself while trying to steal a phone. Details at Boneheads Today, September 21, in 1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. --- Elvis Presley (1935 - 1977) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Moe Abbot, Costello and Unemployment COSTELLO : I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America. ABBOTT : Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 5.6%. COSTELLO : That many people are out of work? ABBOTT : No, that's 23%. COSTELLO : You just said 5.6%. ABBOTT : 5.6% Unemployed. COSTELLO : Right 5.6% out of work. ABBOTT : No, that's 23%. COSTELLO : Okay, so it's 23% unemployed. ABBOTT : No, that's 5.6%. COSTELLO : WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%? ABBOTT : 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work. COSTELLO : If you are out of work you are unemployed. ABBOTT : No, Congress said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed. COSTELLO : BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! ABBOTT : No, you miss his point. COSTELLO : What point? ABBOTT : Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair. COSTELLO : To whom? ABBOTT : The unemployed. COSTELLO : But ALL of them are out of work. ABBOTT : No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed. COSTELLO : So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment? ABBOTT : Unemployment would go down. Absolutely! COSTELLO : The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work? ABBOTT : Absolutely it goes down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%. COSTELLO : Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number? ABBOTT : Two ways is correct. COSTELLO : Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? ABBOTT : Correct. COSTELLO : And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job? ABBOTT : Bingo. COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work. ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an Economist. COSTELLO: I don't even know what I just said! ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Liberal. ______________________________________________________ I noticed the neighbor down the street was home and sitting on his porch every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened. Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Mark, went into a convenience store to prepay for gasoline and returned with two plastic bottles of soda. As he filled the tank, his wife opened a bottle. To her dismay it fizzed and foamed all over her lap. Several miles down the road, Mark asked for his soda. Handing it to him, She warned, "Be careful. These are really over-carbonated." But when Mark opened his bottle, it barely hissed. Eyes on the road, he nonchalantly said, "You must have gotten the one I dropped." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Lee, 46, South Union Township, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvanian heroin addict stabbed himself while trying to steal phone A Pennsylvania man is recovering after he accidentally stabbed himself while allegedly trying to steal a cellphone, according to CBS Pittsburgh Police in South Union Township said David Lee, 46, was in a Walmart Monday evening when he used a knife to remove a Straight Talk Wireless phone from the shelf. A few minutes later, they said Lee was in the automotive aisle when he used the knife to try and open the packaging. Instead, he allegedly stabbed himself in the arm, the website reports. Store employees happened to notice Lee bleeding excessively and approached him, according to HeraldStandard.com. Police said Lee tried to walk through the store while staff followed him. A trail of blood was dripping on the floor. Lee grabbed a towel off the shelf and wrapped it around his arm as he was trying to leave. Lee ran from the store and drove himself to a local hospital. However, the wound was so severe that he had to be flown to a Pittsburgh hospital, according to PennLive.com. A hazmat crew was called to the store to clean up the blood, according to WPXI.com. Police met up with Lee at the hospital and charged him with retail theft and disorderly conduct, according to the station. Lee is expected to survive his self-inflicted stabbing, his mother told local media, and blamed his use of heroin on the incident. Patty Lee told CBS Pittsburgh she "didn’t think he’d ever try that big of a stunt,” but said he's addicted to heroin and “I don’t know where he’s going to end up at.” Some lawyer will probably get him to sue Walmart for packaging phones too well for heroin addicts.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Woodie Re: Filter email by keyword? Dear Webby, You mentioned that it is not agood idea to bounce mail back to a fake sender address, which I can absolutely understand. However, can you flag it for deleting if a keyword is there, but the sender is not in the white-list? I don't want to lose emails from friends, if they joke about things, that are typically mentioned in spam. Woodie Dear Woodie Yes, sure. With MailWasher you can definitely do that. When you compose a filter, you can click an exclusion for the Friends list. That way, if the sender is in the Friends list, the filter won't be applied. You can also use regular expressions to exclude just a handful of "authorized" addresses. Yes, you can use all the regular expressions like AND, AND / OR, BUT NOT IF, AND IF, etc. If you can compose a rule in plain English, then you can click together a filter to do just that. Making filters is easy and it becomes a game to outsmart the spammers. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Six-year-old Jay's father was a rector in a small church. One day, his father told Jay that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Jay became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet the bishop. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Jay bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Jay was very excited about the opportunity to do this. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop's room and then say to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Jay was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally, morning came and Jay rehearsed his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though, that his lines got mixed up and Jay said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fizzy Cherry Popsicles I have been making a lot of popsicles lately and wanted to try something different. I thought that a Shirley Temple popsicle would be delicious. I used a naturally flavored carbonated water. There was no calories or artificial sweeteners. The kids loved it. They keep asking when I am going to make more! Approximate Time: a few minutes, plus freezing time Yield: as many as you would like Ingredients: Maraschino cherries & syrup carbonated water The one (I used cherry flavored) Steps: Pour some maraschino cherry syrup into your popsicle molds. I filled mine about 1/4 of the way. Plop in a cherry or two. Fill the rest of the mold with your carbonated water. Don't fill all the way, to make room for the mixture to expand while freezing. Add your popsicle tops. Freeze for a few hours until completely frozen. By Becky Miles [72] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Painting, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients painted their statures. The only present alliance between the two arts is that the modern painter often chisels his patrons. --- Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary." ___________________________________________________

kitten forgets there are two lizards
____________________________________________________ A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home." ____________________________________________________
Blackboard chalk art that I didn't know could be done. The drawings are amazing!

Today, Sept 21, in
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy. 
1784 "The Pennsylvania Packet and Daily Advertiser" was published 
 for the first time in Philadelphia. It was the first daily paper 
 in America. 
1893 Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first 
 gasoline-powered automobile for a test drive. The "horseless 
 carriage" was designed by Frank and Charles Duryea. 
1897 The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" 
 editorial. It was in response to a letter from 8-year-old Virginia 
 O'Hanlon. 
1931 Britain went off the gold standard. 
1931 Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast territory 
 of Manchuria. 
1937 J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published. 
1948 Milton Berle debuted as the host of "The Texaco Star Theater" 
 on NBC-TV. The show later became "The Milton Berle Show." Berle 
 was the regular host until 1967. 
1948 "Life With Luigi" debuted on CBS Radio. 
1949 Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic of China. 
1957 "Perry Mason", the television series, made its debut on CBS-TV. 
 The show was on for 9 years. 
1961 Antonio Abertondo swam the English Channel (in both directions) 
 in 24 hours and 25 minutes. 
1964 Malta gained independence from Britain. 
1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The spacecraft 
 completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to the moon. 
1973 Henry Kissinger was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become 
 56th Secretary of State. He was the first naturalized citizen to 
 hold the office of Secretary of State. 
1981 Belize gained full independence from Great Britain. 
1982 National Football League (NFL) players began a 57-day strike. 
 It was their first regular-season walkout. 
1982 Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was the 
 brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect when he 
 was assassinated. 
1984 General Motors and the United Auto Workers union reached an 
 agreement that would end the previous six days of spot strikes. 
1985 North and South Korea opened their borders for their family 
 reunion program. 
1993 Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he was 
 ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action was 
 effectively seizing all state power. 
1996 The board of all-male Virginia Military Institute voted to 
 admit women. 
2015  smiled.


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Can email be bounced back? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, September 20

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon man who was arrested for urinating on passengers onJet Blue flight Details at Boneheads Today, September 20, in 1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan was killed during the trip, but one of his ships eventually made the journey. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy. --- Spike Milligan ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. Success is a relative term. It brings too many relatives. ______________________________________________________ The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.The lad asked, "What is this, father?" The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.The father looked at his son and said, "Go get your mother." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to carl for this picture: Tangier Island ______________________________________________________ A southern Belle arrived a the church rather late, just as the congregation was rushing to their cars. "Is - M - ass out?" she panted to one of the dowagers. "No, chile, but your skirt IS a little short," she replied. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeff Rubin, 27, Portland, Oregon
Oregon man was arrested for urinating on passengers onJet Blue flight An Oregon man is facing charges after authorities say he urinated on passengers on a flight from Anchorage to Portland, Oregon. 27-year-old Jeff Rubin was arrested early Friday after JetBlue Flight 47 arrived at Portland International Airport. A police report says passengers and airline employees told officers Rubin had been sleeping for most of the flight. About 30 minutes before landing, he stood up and began urinating through the crack between the seats in front of him — onto the passengers sitting there. The report says he lost his balance and fell backward, spraying urine on passengers, seats and luggage. Rubin spent about five hours in jail. He faces charges of criminal mischief and offensive littering.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Erin Re: Can you bounce email back? Dear Webby, is there a program to bounce email back to the sender? Erin Dear Erin MailWasher can do that, but normally that is not a good idea. Most spammers don't use their own address for sending spam, and many of them even fake YOUR address into the FROM slot. I made filters in MailWasher to dump, without any listing or warning any mail, that has forged my address into the FROM line. I never even see a listing of it. MailWasher sends those spams straight to hell. The only time to use bouncing is for a few very specific email addresses, for example the address of your MIL or your EX, or anybody, whose mail you consider obnoxious. Bouncing by topic or key word is usually not a good idea. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ That reminds me... A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. "Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me." "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will be costly. I charge $200 per weekly session and it may take a couple of years to solve your problem." "Two hundred dollars per session!" the man gasped. "Never mind getting rid of the monsters, Doctor. I think I will give that bed to my mother-in-law. That will fix their wagon!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mould and Mildew Spray to Clean Toilet Cleaning around your toilet seat hinge can be fiddly and time consuming. A cloth won't get into all the cracks and crevices. Antibacterial spray is good for getting in there and killing the germs but won't banish the stains. I find that a mould and mildew spray, which mostly consists of bleach, is brilliant for getting rid of unsightly yellowing and it kills bacteria too By ShirleyE [17] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The chef at a family run restaurant had broken her leg and came into her insurance office to file a disability claim. As the agent scanned the claim form, heI did a double take. Under "Reason unable to work," she had written: "Can't stand to cook." ___________________________________________________

1768 feet up, just to get to work
____________________________________________________ Bubba and Jed took parachuting lessons, and were arguing about who was best at folding a parachute. Unable to resolve their dispute on the ground, they decided to go up in a plane and judge by the midair performance of their parachutes. Bubba jumped first, pulled his cord, and started floating down towards the earth. Then Jed jumped, pulled his cord and nothing happened; he pulled his safety cord- nothing. In a matter of seconds he whizzed past Bubba, plummeting like a stone. "Oh," shouted the Bubba, yanking off his harness, "so ya wanna race, do ya?!" ____________________________________________________
A short video of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites of Guilin and Yangshuo in China filmed by a drone.

Today, Sept 20, in
1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain 
 to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan 
 was killed during the trip, but one of his ships eventually 
 made the journey. 
1870 The Papal States came under the control of Italian troops, 
 leading to the unification of Italy. 
1884 The Equal Rights Party was formed in San Francisco, CA. 
1921 KDKA in Pittsburgh, PA, started a daily radio newscast. 
 It was one of the first in the U.S. 
1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy proposed a joint U.S.-Soviet 
 expedition to the moon in a speech to the U.N. General Assembly. 
1967 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was launched. It 
 went out of service on November 27, 2008. 
1977 The first of the "boat people" arrived in San Francisco 
 from Southeast Asia under a new U.S. resettlement program. 
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan announced that the U.S., 
 France, and Italy were going to send peacekeeping troops 
 back to Beirut. 
1989 F.W. de Klerk was sworn in as president of South Africa. 
1991 U.N. weapons inspectors left for Iraq in a renewed 
 search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. 
1995 AT&T announced that it would be splitting into three 
 companies. The three companies were AT&T, Lucent Technologies, 
 and NCR Corp. 
1995 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the 
 national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their 
 own speed limits. 
2015  smiled.


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McAfee's WHOA page 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 19

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Idaho man arrested for carrying stolen goods past cop and fleeing when cop tried to arrest him. Details at Boneheads Today, September 19, in 1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Political advertising ought to be stopped. It's the only really dishonest kind of advertising that's left. --- David M. Ogilvy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The police recently busted a man selling tablets that he claimed stopped aging. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928. ______________________________________________________ Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for her Fall picture Fall ______________________________________________________ Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mozes Joseph Jimenez, 25, Twin Falls, Idaho
Idaho man arrested for carrying stolen goods past cop and fleeing when cop tried to arrest him. A man caught shoplifting at Target walked past a Twin Falls Police Officer with an armful of clothing he was planning to steal, police said. He then pretended to look for a receipt for the stolen goods in his car and fled, nearly hitting the officer, police said. Mozes Joseph Jimenez, 25, was arraigned Tuesday in Twin Falls Magistrate Court on a charge of felony burglary. Officer Matthew Ferronato was at Target, 1611 Blue Lakes Blvd., on May 30 speaking with a manager when a customer approached and said a man carried several clothing items out of the store without paying for them, court documents said. Ferronato went outside to find Jimenez walking toward a car carrying clothes without a bag that were still on hangers and had tags attached to them, police said. Ferronato reported that when asked if he had a receipt for the clothes Jimenez appeared to become nervous and slowly reached into his pocket. He then pulled his hand out with nothing in it. Jimenez opened his car door and said the receipt must be in the car, court documents said. Jimenez then proceed to look behind his seat underneath a windshield cover. Jimenez sat down into the driver seat and started to reach under the front passenger seat, police said. Ferronato asked him to step out of the car, but Jimenez turned it on and threw it in reverse. He backed up so quickly Ferronato had to run out of the way to avoid being sideswiped, court documents said. Ferronato got into his car and began pursuit, but after Jimenez turned onto Fillmore Street and then North College Road Ferronato was ordered to stop the chase, police said. An asset protection employee for Target said the merchandise taken from the store was worth about $80. Jimenez was arrested Monday. His bond was set at $25,000 and a preliminary hearing is scheduled for Sept. 11.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Pam Re: McAfee WHOA page Dear Webby, I went to a site after searching for it on Google, and McAfee hit me with the scary "WHOA, get back!" page. I phoned the company, -their phone number was in the Google results-, but they told me that since Google listed their page, obviously the problem was on my side, and that I should use AVG or Norton, and would not get that "false warning". Sounds to me the guy was an incompetent or clueless bozo. I wasily found an alternative place, that did not have a warning from McAfee. Is that sort of thing common? Pam Dear Pam Yes, unfortunately that is quite common. The same thing happened to me again a few days ago. I had heard that the owner of that site was rather clueless, so I didn't waste my time phoning, and simply went to another site, that sold the same stuff. That happens about every second month to me. The problem is not the server. The webhost normally doesn't do any malware check. The problem is the webmaster. If her or his computer is infected, then the work they produce is often also infected. The infection is not necessarily a virus, but often just some sneaky ads or links, that lead to malicious or unsafe sites. McAfee follows all the links and tests them. If one leads to an unsafe site, then you get the big, red "WHOA!" page. Just because AVG or Norton don't follow up the links on a site, or even bother checking where you are browsing to, that does not mean the sites they fail to warn you about, are safe. That is why I have always recommended to get McAfee. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Anise Extract for Acid Reflux This does not work for everyone, but it worked for my son-in-law and I. We both had acid reflux. I had read something in a book about licorice oil being an aid. I went to the store and tried to find licorice oil with no luck. (I found later you can order it through a drug store.) Since I couldn't find it, I got to thinking that licorice tastes and is substituted with anise. I went looking for anise oil but couldn't find any. I finally went to the grocery store in the seasonings aisle. I found anise extract. It was fairly inexpensive so I bought a bottle. I took it home and followed the other instructions I remembered. "Taking it carefully, start with a small amount (up to two TEASPOONS, not tablespoons). I took up to two teaspoons the first time and had relief. I had to repeat a couple months later but haven't had any backup since. My son-in-law tried it and one dose fixed his problem. My daughter tried it but got the instructions mixed up and took two tablespoons. She has not had much relief. Proving once again that too much of a good thing isn't good. I shared this with my counselor, who tried it. She shared with her clients. They were cured too. I didn't hear of any failures from her. Source: I think the book was a Pioneer Cookbook I had purchased somewhere in my lifetime. By Grandmama [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that during the sermon an elderly man passed out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The usher could find no pulse and there was no noticeable breathing." "What was so unusual and demanding about this particular call?" the interviewer asked. "Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out seven guys before we found the one who was dead." ___________________________________________________

1768 feet up, just to get to work
____________________________________________________ PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience. --- Ambrose Bierce ____________________________________________________
This is just mesmerizing to watch.

Today, Sept 19, in
1356 The Battle of Poitiers was fought between England and France. 
 Edward "the Black Prince" captured France's King John. 
1777 The Battle of Saratoga was won by American soldiers during 
 the Revolutionary War. 
1819 John Keats wrote "Ode to Autumn." 
1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. 
1891 "The Merchant of Venice" was performed for the first 
 time at Manchester. 
1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was consented to giving 
 all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 
1955 Argentina President Juan Peron was ousted after a revolt by 
 the army and navy. 
1957 The U.S. conducted its first underground nuclear test. 
 The test took place in the Nevada desert. 
1959 Nikita Khruschev was not allowed to visit Disneyland due to 
 security reasons. Khrushchev reacted angrily. 
1960 Cuban leader Fidel Castro, in New York to visit the United 
 Nations, checked out of the Shelburne Hotel angrily after a 
 dispute with the management. 
1982 Scott Fahlman became the first person to use :-) in an online 
 message. 
1983 Lebanese army units defending Souk el-Gharb were supported 
 in their effort by two U.S. Navy ships off Beirut. 
1986 U.S. health officials announced that AZT, though an 
 experimental drug, would be made available to AIDS patients. 
1988 Israel successfully launched the Horizon-I test satellite. 
1990 Iraq began confiscating foreign assets of countries that 
 were imposing sanctions against the Iraqi government. 
1992 The U.N. Security Council recommended suspending Yugoslavia 
 due to its role in the Bosnian civil war. 
1994 U.S. troops entered Haiti peacefully to enforce the return 
 of exiled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. 
1995 The commander of American forces in Japan and the U.S. 
 ambassador apologized for the rape of a schoolgirl committed by 
 three U.S. servicemen. 
1996 The government of Guatemala and leftist rebels signed a peace 
 treaty to end their long war. 
2002 In Ivory Coast, around 750 rebel soldiers attempted to 
 overthrow the government. U.S. troops landed on September 25th to 
 help move foreigners, including Americans, to safer areas. 
2003 It was reported that AOL Time Warner was going to drop "AOL" 
 from its name and be known as Time Warner Inc. The company 
 had announced its merger and name change on January 10, 2000. 
2015  smiled.


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Euro Sign for laptops 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, September 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an S.C. Woman arrested for groping strangers, breaking into a home to play cards Details at Boneheads Today, September 18, in 1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A motion to adjourn is always in order. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!" ______________________________________________________ It's been determined that it's a bad idea to give chocolate to a woman with PMS. It can worsen the condition. However, it's an even WORSE idea to try to take AWAY chocolate from a woman with PMS. ______________________________________________________ Water Walker ______________________________________________________ Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. "This I've got to see," I thought. They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Annetta Brewton, 46, Spartanburg, South Carolina
S.C. Woman arrested for groping strangers, breaking into a home to play cards A woman in Spartanburg, South Carolina, is being accused of an alleged crime spree that included fondling strangers in a local store and breaking into a home to play cards with the victim. Annetta Brewton, 46, was arrested Tuesday for a variety of charges, including kidnapping, burglary, trespassing, shoplifting and indecent exposure, FoxCarolina.com reports. Police said Brewton walked into a Sav-A-Lot and attempted to shoplift several steaks by sticking them up her shirt, according to the website. The store employee who called police said several customers identified Brewton by name. Brewton then walked into a different store in the same strip mall, where witnesses said she started groping customers and asking them for money. Brewton was asked to leave, but refused, according to WSPA.com. Instead, she pulled down her pants and showed off her genitals while cursing. Police said Brewton then ran out of the store down the street and broke into the home of an elderly woman, with whom she asked to play cards. She then locked the door and said they weren't going anywhere because the police were outside. When the police did arrive, Brewton refused to leave, claiming she was using the victim's toilet and wouldn't pull up her pants, according to FoxCarolina.com. Officers finally took Brewton into custody and out of the victim's home. On the way to the police station, police said she kicked out the back window of a patrol car, according to WLTX.com. Brewton remains in custody at the Spartanburg County Detention Center in lieu of $25,470 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandra Re: Euro sign on laptop Dear Webby, I googled for hours trying to find a way to make the Euro symbol with my laptop. There are lots of seemingly helpful suggestions, but none of them work. I got W7. What do you suggest? Sandra Dear Sandra I agree, most of those suggestions don't work on laptops unless you have a numeric keypad on the side of the keyboard. Some laptops like the Acer Aspire have one, but few others. Yuppies apparently hate wide laptops that take up too much space on the tiny tables at Starbucks. There are two ways that work on all Windows laptops. START, type charmap.exe and search for the Euro sign, copy it, jump back to where you need it, and paste it. Yeah, I agree, that is very klutzy, because the Euro sign is not easy to find in there. That is why I wrote http://webby.com/char many years ago, when you were still jail bait. The Euro symbol is both in the text on top, and the last item in the first table. Highlight the € Euro symbol, CTRL C to Copy ALT TAB to jump back to where you need it, CTRL V to paste it. Yes, I know that is still a bit klutzy, but until Microsoft gets over being in a snit about the Europeans suing them for making their Internet Explorer the default brwoser on involuntary Windows installations, there won't be a usable keyboard shortcut, that works on all laptops. Windows Key and E has been hijacked by Microsoft for a shortcut to "My Computer", which doesn't make sense, but seems to be just a frantic and thoughtless hijacking before anybody could assign that for the Euro sign. Windows key and o is not assigned yet and COULD be used, but it will take a third party add-on to accomplish that. Until then, if you don't have a numeric keypad or regular keyboard, you are stuck with one of the two methods, that I listed. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 1600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I have." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Turn Cheap Steak Into Amazing Steak I love a really good fillet mignon from time to time, but my purse never does! Here is a super easy way to make even the cheapest cuts of steak into a velvety delight, using just salt and sugar. Salt draws out the liquids in the meat, then as it sits, it goes back in. Sugar is a natural tenderizer and also helps to offset the salt. I don't really measure it, I just sprinkle a half and half mixture of salt and sugar to coat the meat. The thicker the cut, the more to pour on. Flip over and coat the other side with salt and sugar. Let it sit out at room temperature for an hour. Rinse off the salt and sugar really well. Pat dry. Season with pepper (if you like) and cook it in a hot oiled pan on both sides. Believe me, this works for even the chewiest cuts. Sometimes my husband will challenge me by buying a horrible steak, I always win! PS: Please don't overcook your meats. It's not right! ;) By attosa [120] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Darling," said the young man to his new bride. "Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?" "Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But what will you live on?" ___________________________________________________

buzzed by F-18s Can you imagine being there?
____________________________________________________ One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into her car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of her car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of her car. So the trooper decided to pull her over and perform a community service by giving the driver her chicken. He pulled her over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks, I just bought some." ____________________________________________________
25 What a marvelous world we live in.

Today, Sept 18, in
1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. 
1763 It was reported, by the Boston Gazette, that the first 
 piano had been built in the United States. The instrument 
 was named the spinet and was made by John Harris. 
1789 Alexander Hamilton negotiated and secured the first 
 loan for the United States. The Temporary Loan of 1789 
 was repaid on June 8, 1790 at the sum of $191,608.81. 
1810 Chile declared its independence from Spain. 
1830 The "Tom Thumb", the first locomotive built in America, 
 raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when 
 the locomotive had some mechanical difficulties. 
1837 Tiffany & Co. was founeded in New York City. 
1850 The Fugitive Slave Act was declared by the U.S. Congress. 
 The act allowed slave owners to claim slaves that had escaped 
 into other states. 
1851 The first issue of "The New York Times" was published. 
1891 Harriet Maxwell Converse became the first white woman to 
 ever be named chief of an Indian tribe. The tribe was the 
 Six Nations Tribe at Towanda Reservation in New York. 
1895 Daniel David Palmer gave the first chiropractic adjustment. 
1947 The United States Air Force was established as a separate 
 military branch by the National Security Act. 
1965 The first episode of "I Dream of Jeannie" was shown on 
 NBC-TV. The last show was televised on September 1, 1970. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush said that he would send 
 warplanes to escort U.N. helicopters that were searching for 
 hidden Iraqi weapons if it became necessary. 
1994 Haiti's military leaders agreed to depart on October 15th. 
 This action averted a U.S.-led invasion to force them out 
 of power. 
1997 Ted Turner, U.S. Media magnate, announced that over the 
 next ten years he would give $1 billion to the United Nations. 
1998 The FDA approved a once-a-day easier-to-swallow medication 
 for AIDS patients. 
2015  smiled.


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How big a thumbdrive is needed to run Linux from it? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 17

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Idaho Burglar, who was busted when he returned for lost keys and phone. Details at Boneheads Today, September 17, in 1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that expelled all Jews from France. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them. [info][add][mail][note]Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ He's teaching her arithmetic, He said it was his mission, He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." And as he added smack by smack In silent satisfaction, She sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, Without an explanation, And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then Dad appeared upon the scene and Made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away And said, "That's long division!" ______________________________________________________ After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Daddy!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Växjö in Southern Sweden ______________________________________________________ The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Caleb Shay Funke, 22, Twin Falls, Idaho
Idaho Burglar, who was busted when he returned for lost keys and phone. September 15, 2015 A Twin Falls burglary suspect returned to the scene of the crime Saturday looking for keys and a cellphone he dropped during the heist, police say. Caleb Shay Funke, 22, was arraigned Monday in Twin Falls County Magistrate Court on two charges of burglaries and one charge of grand-theft. A woman called police about 2:30 p.m. saying she’d arrived home on the 200 block of Sixth Avenue North to find her back door open and her house ransacked, police said. Cupboards were open, books and paper were scattered, a file-cabinet was pried open and an unfamiliar cellphone was left on the bed. A silver 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt was parked behind the house, where police said they could see cash and jewelry on the passenger seat. While officers were still at the house investigating, a woman drove up behind the car and dropped Funke off, police said. Funke told officers he let a friend borrow the car and the keys ended up locked inside, court documents said. He said he had arranged for a locksmith to come unlock the car. As Funke spoke with police, a resident of the burglarized house came out with some keys, saying they didn’t belong to anyone in the house, court documents said. An officer unlocked and started the car with the keys. Funke said he wasn’t the burglar but knew who was. His story didn’t add up, so police arrested him. When officers patted him down they found a piece of jewelry in his pocket belonging to the homeowner. Her cellphone was in his car, police said. Police say Funke is also a suspect in two other Saturday burglaries. A house on the 500 block of Washington Street North had a window broken out and was left in disarray, court documents said. Footprints found near both the garage and the backdoor matched the slippers Funke was wearing when he was arrested, police said. Another house was burglarized in the 1000 block of Wirsching Avenue West, police said. The homeowner’s daughter said she noticed bags of change missing and police found checks and a credit card from the home inside the Cobalt, court documents said. In an interview with police, Funke admitted to being involved with all three burglaries, court documents said. He said he burglarized the house on Wirsching Avenue and was a lookout for a friend for the Sixth Avenue burglary. Funke said he accidentally broke the window on Washington Street and was only there because he thought his friends lived there, police said. After climbing into the house he figured his friends must have moved and left without taking anything, court documents said. Funke’s bond was set at $5,000 and a preliminary hearing is scheduled for Sept. 25.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ellen Re: How big a thumb drive for Linux Dear Webby, You mentioned that Linux can be booted from a thumb drive. How big a thumb drive would I need? Ellen Dear Ellen A 2 GB thumb drive or camera chip is enough. 2 GB are getting almost impossible to find and should be left for people on XP machines, who can't use anything bigger without a lot of hassle. The cheapest and still commonly available camera chips are 4 GB. That gives you over 2 GB of left over space for storing files. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Bumper sticker on an RV with a Florida license plate: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bar Soap as Emergency Deodorant I remember 'umpteen' years ago my fifth grade assistant teacher told us girls, "If you're ever out of deodorant and need an emergency fix, wet a bar of soap and rub it under your arms." I have used this tip several times over the years and it really does work to help curb the odor - when in a pinch!:) This is also a good way to avoid using the aluminums found in antiperspirants. Source: Thanks to Ms Brown.:) By Geee [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service." ___________________________________________________

man "hits on" wife after surgery
____________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good home, but I want to stay with you guys!" ____________________________________________________
25 This is just weird!

Today, Sept 17, in
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that expelled 
 all Jews from France. 
1778 The United States signed its first treaty with a Native 
 American tribe, the Delaware Nation. 
1787 The Constitution of the United States of America was 
 signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention. 
1862 The Battle of Antietam took place during the American 
 Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or 
 missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses 
 to both armies. 
1872 Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler 
 system. 
1911 The first transcontinental airplane flight started. It 
 took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to 
 Pasadena, CA. 
1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, 
 began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. 
1932 Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached 
 276.27 mph over a half mile. 
1937 At Mount Rushmore, Abraham Lincoln's face was dedicated. 
1939 The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded 
 Poland on September 1. 
1944 Operation "Market Garden" was launched by Allied 
 paratroopers during World War II. The landing point was 
 behind German lines in the Netherlands. 
1962 U.S. space officials announced the selection of 
 Neil A. Armstrong and eight others as new astronauts. 
1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1976 NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale, CA. 
1983 Vanessa Williams, as Miss New York, became the first 
 black woman to be crowned Miss America. 
1984 9,706 immigrants became naturalized citizens when they 
 were sworn in by U.S. Vice-President George Bush in Miami, FL. 
 It was the largest group to become U.S. citizens. 
1984 Gordon P. Getty was named the richest person in the U.S. 
 His fortune was $4.1 billion. 
1988 Lt. Gen. Prosper Avril declared himself president of 
 Haiti after President Henri Hamphy was ousted. 
1992 Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran-Contra
 scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years. 
1995 Hong Kong held its last legislative election before being 
 taken over by China in 1997. 
1998 The U.S. announced a plan that would compensate victims in 
 the Kenya and Tanzania U.S. Embassy bombings on August 7, 1998. 
2015  smiled.


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Audio on top of email 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 16

Thank you, Betty

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an English man jailed for having stun gun disguised as mobile phone after police accidently set it off Details at Boneheads Today, September 15, in 1916 During the Battle of the Somme, in France, tanks were first used in warfare when the British rolled them onto the battlefields. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ >From Jim, received yesterday, 9/15/2015 On this day in 1950 I, with thousands of others, made the invasion of Korea at Inchon. I was a Combat Corpsman with the First Marine Division. Needless to say, it was a long and uncomfortable day but I can see now that it was used to toughen us up to worse days which were to come. They came, and they were worse. Please pray for our veterans. We all need your prayers, support and understanding. God Bless! Jim Crismon HMCM USN RET. Jim is one of the "Frozen Chosen", who survived the 50/51 winter battles at the Chosen Reservoir, where they were surrounded by ten divisions of Chinese soldiers, but managed to break out and fight their way to Ham Hung and rejoined the main part of the US forces. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Easterner was riding with a rancher over a blistering and almost barren stretch of West Texas, when a strange bird scurried in front of them. Asked by the Easterner what the bird was, the rancher replied, "That's a bird of paradise." The stranger from the East rode on in silence for a moment, then said, "Long way from home, isn't it??" The Easterner had to walk the rest of the way. ______________________________________________________ Petra had forgotten to get her estrogen patch prescription refilled, and soon the symptoms of menopause--hot flashes, forgetfulness, irritability, short temper, bossiness, aches and pains, etc., etc. returned. Eventually she wound up at the drugstore and was telling the pharmacist all about her problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One Sunday during the morning church service our pastor was preaching away and his sermon came to a high point and he asked the question: "What is your problem?" Just as he asked the question a little boy was in the isle, he had started toward the bathroom. Thinking that the preacher was talking to him, the little guy just stopped, looked up at him, and said, "I gotta pee." To say the least the laughter took over and the sermon was never the same after that! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Neaverson, 61, Rainham England
English bank robber told teller to put the money into his bank account. Paul Neaverson walked in to a branch of NatWest in Rainham and held a knife to the cashier's neck. Neaverson then asked the cashier to transfer the money into his own account. He gave the cashier his own bank details, apparently because he needed money to book a flight to Corfu for a job interview as a golf coach. Somehow the cashier managed stifle her laughter long enough to hit the panic button. Neaverson fled – but only went as far as a branch of HSBC just 400ft away. He tried to hold up that bank too. Danny Moore, defending, told the court that his client has never been in trouble before and described his attempt to rob the banks as "ridiculous". He said: "It was ridiculous. It only had one ending – and here it is. He has led a law-abiding life and now finds himself staring down the barrel of a very long sentence indeed." Neaverson pleaded guilty to two attempted robberies and possession of a blade. He has been jailed for two years.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dan Re: Audio on top of mail Dear Webby, I would like to place walter winchel's opening [good evening mr.and misses america and all ships at sea] as an opening on email with sound.is this possible? he can be found on you tube dan Dear Dan You can certainly paste that on top of your email, but I would not advise auto-noise like some of the most obnoxious of spammers use. You would get yourself permanently blocked by almost everybody. Almost nobody likes sudden noise blaring out, just when the boss is walking by. Forget that idea! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Trina is very attentive when she goes out on a date. Lately, at a movie she was overheard to say: Trina: "Can you see, dear ? Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is your seat comfortable ?" Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is there a draft on you ?" Date: "No" Trina: "Good ! Let's change seats." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bar Soap as Emergency Deodorant I remember 'umpteen' years ago my fifth grade assistant teacher told us girls, "If you're ever out of deodorant and need an emergency fix, wet a bar of soap and rub it under your arms." I have used this tip several times over the years and it really does work to help curb the odor - when in a pinch!:) This is also a good way to avoid using the aluminums found in antiperspirants. Source: Thanks to Ms Brown.:) By Geee [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two priests were talking. The older one said to the younger, "When you came to our church I wondered how your new ideas were going to work. "When you replaced the front pews with bucket seats, I had my doubts. But now at every mass, the front seats are filled with young people. "When you 'jazzed up' the choir by singing new and peppy songs, I was afraid it might offend the older folks, but we have more people in church now than ever. "When you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But more people are coming to confession than ever. "However, the neon sign out front that reads: 'Toot 'n tell or go to Hell' has to go! ___________________________________________________

Don't go to the shark's house!
____________________________________________________ "I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power outage caused the lights to flicker overhead. 'That,' he sighed, 'must be her checking out now.' " ____________________________________________________
25 Natural wonders that will inspire you to travel.

Today, Sept 16, in
1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after rebelling 
 against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born Prince of Wales. 
1620 The Mayflower departed from Plymouth, England. The ship 
 arrived at Provincetown, MA, on November 21st and then at Plymouth, 
 MA, on December 26th. There were 102 passengers onboard. 
1630 The village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston. 
1782 The Great Seal of the United States was impressed on document 
 to negotiate a prisoner of war agreement with the British. It was 
 the first official use of the impression. 
1810 The Mexicans began a revolt against Spanish rule. Miguel Hidalgo 
 y Costilla, a Catholic priest of Spanish descent, declared Mexico's 
 independence from Spain in the small town of Dolores. 
1893 The "Cherokee Strip" in Oklahoma was swarmed by hundreds of 
 thousands of settlers. 
1908 General Motors was founded by William Crapo "Billy" Durant. 
 The company was formed by merging the Buick and Olds car companies.
1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training 
 and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft 
 in U.S. history. 
1974 U.S. President Ford announced a conditional amnesty program 
 for draft-evaders and deserters during the Vietnam War. 
1976 The Episcopal Church formally approved women to be ordained 
 as priests and bishops. 
1982 In west Beirut, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian men, 
 women and children began in refugee camps of the Lebanese  
 Christian militiamen. 
1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed by 24 countries in an effort 
 to save the Earth's ozone layer by reducing emissions of harmful 
 chemicals by the year 2000. 
1994 Exxon Corporation was ordered by federal jury to pay $5 billion 
 in punitive damages to the people harmed by the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill. 
1994 Two astronauts from the space shuttle Discovery went on the first 
 untethered spacewalk in 10 years. 
1998 Universal paid $9 million for the rights to the Dr. Seuss classics 
 "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Oh, the Places You'll Go." 
2015  smiled.


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Windows search alternative 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, September 14

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a British Mom arrested for keeping 12 Bags Of Cocaine for Daughter's Birthday Blowout Details at Boneheads Today, September 13, in 1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. --- Bill Hoest I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then says well, then, let it read "Fred Brown died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read: 'Fred Brown died: golf clubs for sale.'" ______________________________________________________ Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Hillsboro Beach, Florida ______________________________________________________ An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the day when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. It's me. I've quit drinking." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicola Austen, 37, Maidstone, England
Mom arrested for keeping 12 Bags Of Cocaine for Daughter's Birthday Blowout When Nicola Austen's daughter turned 18 in February, the 37-year-old decided they should celebrate in high style. So, Austen (pictured above) purchased 12 bags of cocaine weighing a total of 8.65 grams, according to prosecutors at Maidstone Crown Court in England. Austen was sentenced earlier this week to a nine-month suspended sentence and 250 hours of unpaid work, South West News Service reports. Prosecutor Craig Evans said Austen and her daughter planned to celebrate the girl's 18th birthday in London. “They were going to London in a limousine and she wanted to make sure they had a good time,” Evans told the court. But mother and daughter missed out on the London high life. On Jan. 31, police stopped by to talk with Austen, who had six previous convictions, one for possessing amphetamine in 2010. After a police dog at the house sniffed out the cocaine, Austen admitted to officers that she got it for her daughter's birthday celebration, according to the Telegraph. Despite the previous convictions, the judge decided not to send Austen to jail because she has a young son who would suffer if she were incarcerated.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Irene Re: Windows search Dear Webby, The built in Windows search is a piece of you know what. The simple mode is asa fragile as a screensaver and quits if a fly lands on the mouse, and the "See More Results" hogs so much memory, that I have to reboot afterwards. It's pathetic! I can't imagine you using it. What do you use instead? Irene Dear Irene I agree with you wholeheartedly. I use SEARCH EVERYTHING. You get it free at http://www.voidtools.com/ Use the x86 version unless you have a 2 TB hard drive full of files. The x86 version uses less RAM. SEARCH EVERYTHING is so good, I would bet that Microsoft will include it in Windows 12. It takes a bit of getting used to. For example, you should specify what type of file you are looking for. If you are looking for a program, select "Executable". If you look for a picture, select "Picture". That REALLY speeds up the search, especially if you have huge hard drives. You can leave it set to "everything". It is still a twenty times faster than the Windows search, but noticeably slower than when you narrow it down to a category. Above all, it is free! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed Little Johnny in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When Little Johnny's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said Little Johnny. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, kid, we're gonna get a free haircut!'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Ice Cream Shell Coating Just 2 ingredients from your kitchen and in 15 seconds you can make an ice cream shell coating. It's healthier and inexpensive! Approximate Time: 15 seconds Ingredients: 1 tsp Nutella or other hazelnut spread 1/2 tsp coconut oil your favorite brand of ice cream Steps: Just mix the Nutella hazelnut spread into the coconut oil at a 2 to 1 ratio. I use 1 teaspoon hazelnut to 1/2 teaspoon coconut oil for one serving. Spoon on top of a bowl of ice cream. I like to spread it out thinly all over the top of the ice cream. That's it! It will start freezing up to form a delicious shell coating within a minute or two. So yummy and the coconut oil makes it a healthier alternative. By Donna [279] If you have read the ingreadients of that hazelnut flavored sugar and margarine spread, or if you are a diabetic and don't want all that much sugar and oil, an alternative is to take half a square of Baker's Semi Sweet chocolate and half a tsp butter, hazelnut-butter, or margarine in a round bottomed cup, microwave it for 50 seconds and immediately stir it with a plastic spoon, and then pour it over two to four ice cream helpings. Done. If you have coated too many helpings, they can be put into the freezer for next treat time. You can, of course, also use peanut butter or almond butter instead of margarine. This coating also works great as a topping for cake. The only thing to keep in mind is to work fast. Everything has to be ready. Reheating a chocolate topping is not a good idea, it can turn coarse and rough looking. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ and a friend were invited to a pot- luck party. Everybody brought a dish. When it came time to serve dessert, the person who prepared it, said the recipe was called "Better Than Sex Cake." After 's friend tasted it, she blurted out, "I sure feel sorry for the person who named this cake!" ___________________________________________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtDX1Vl-Jxk"> src="http://webby.com/humor/Noella-back-gold.jpg" align=left>
Victor Borge
____________________________________________________ "Electricity originates inside clouds. There, it forms into lightning, which is attracted to the Earth by golfers. After entering the ground, the electricity hardens into coal, which, when dug up by power companies and burned in big ovens called 'generators,' turns back into electricity. The power company sells it to consumers who use TV sets to transform it into commercials for beer, which passes through the consumers and back into the ground, thus completing what is known as a 'circuit.'" ____________________________________________________
I love these 3D sidewalk chalk paintings, they look almost real.

Today, Sept 13, in
1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon 
 Bonaparte's troops invaded. 
1814 Francis Scott Key wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner," a 
 poem originally known as "Defense of Fort McHenry," 
 after witnessing the British bombardment of Fort McHenry, 
 MD, during the War of 1812. The song became the official 
 U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931. 
1847 U.S. forces took control of Mexico City under the 
 leadership of General Winfield Scott. 
1866 George K. Anderson patented the typewriter ribbon. 
1899 In New York City, Henry Bliss became the first automobile 
 fatality. 
1901 U.S. President William McKinley died of gunshot wounds 
 inflicted by an assassin. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt, 
 at age 42, succeeded him. 
1915 Carl G. Muench received a patent for Insulit, the first 
 sound-absorbing material to be used in buildings. 
1938 The VS-300 made its first flight. The craft was based 
 on the helicopter technology patented by Igor Sikorsky. 
1940 The Selective Service Act was passed by the U.S. 
 Congress providing the first peacetime draft in the USA. 
1959 Luna II, a Soviet space probe, became the first man-made 
 object on the moon when it crashed on the surface. 
1960 The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries 
 (OPEC) was founded. The core members were Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, 
 Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela. 
1963 Mary Ann Fischer gave birth to America's first surviving 
 quintuplets. 
1972 "The Waltons" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1975 Pope Paul VI declared Mother Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton 
 the first U.S.-born saint. 
1978 "Mork & Mindy" premiered on ABC-TV. 
1983 The U.S. House of Representatives voted 416-0 in a 
 resolution condemning the Soviet Union for the shooting down 
 of a Korean jet on September 1. 
1984 Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon 
 solo across the Atlantic Ocean. 
1987 Tony Magnuson cleared 9.5 feet above the top of the U-ramp 
 and set a new skateboard high jump record. 
1998 Israel announced that they had successfully tested its 
 Arrow-2 missile defense system. The system successfully 
 destroyed a simulated target. 
2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console 
 in Japan. 
2001 The FBI released the names of the 19 hijackers that had 
 taken part in the September 11 terror attacks on the U.S. 
2009 Greyhound UK began operations as an hourly service between 
 London and Portsmouth or Southampton.
2015  smiled.


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Is Spyhunter4 legit? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, September 13

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida burglar caught by webcam watched in Canada Details at Boneheads Today, September 13, in 2001 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell named Osama bin Laden as the prime suspect in the terror attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Limited commercial flights resumed in the U.S. and Canada for the first time in two days. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE: Don't bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right, have it your way.... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ______________________________________________________ When the car engine developed a slight knock, Joe asked his wife if she had bought high octane or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the roughness of the engine." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always," Nancy replied. "I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for her Sea Isle City beach picture: ______________________________________________________ Michael was talking to Roy one day, and said, "My wife suggested that I take up a new sport this summer." Roy said, "Wow, that's nice. It shows that she has your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?" Michael replied, "As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, do you know how to play this Russian Roulette"? ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Thomas Hinton, 45, Fort Myers Floriduh
Florida burglar caught by webcam watched in Canada A Canadian couple watched via web cam as a man broke into their Florida vacation home on Fort Myers Beach before turning the video over to authorities. The surveillance tape helped Lee County sheriff's deputies arrest 45-year-old Thomas Hinton on Sunday, the day after the burglary. He's charged with burglary and grand theft and was jailed on $160,000 bond. The News-Press of Fort Myers (http://newspr.es/1OykK9O ) reports the couple reported the crime from their home in Ontario, Canada, on Saturday night after seeing the man on a web cam. Deputies later learned the man might also be connected to other area burglaries. A deputy spotted the suspect Sunday and arrested him. A hearing is scheduled for Oct. 5.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa Re: Spyhunter4 Dear Webby, Some page recommended Spyhunter4, so I tried it. It looked quite slick, a bit too slick if you ask me, and it seemed to find all kinds of stuff that I knew I didn't have. Then to remove the stuff it claimed it found they wanted big money. No free trial. Is that Spyhunter4 legit? Alexa Dear Alexa Just for you, I tried it myself. Yes, it did indeed claim it found all kinds of stuff that I knew I don't have. If Malwarebytes and McAfee say the machine is clean, then it IS clean. Spyhunter4 claimed there were 298 infections. Well, I knew that was totally phony. Just for fun I clickd on FIX, and like you wrote, they wanted money to delete the items in their phony list. Naturally, I did not give them any money, but used the REVO uninstaller, in advanced mode, to get rid of every trace of Spyhunter4. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus." "We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin." "You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins when the children have graduated and moved out of the house." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Epsom Salts for Inexpensive Fertilizer Instead of purchasing multiple, or artificial/chemical, fertilizers we use Epsom salt for everything! A lot cheaper and simpler than the individual fertilizers for vegetables, flowers, and roses in particular. It is used in a ratio of 1 tablespoon of Epsom salt to one gallon of water. By Donna Epsom salt is just Magnesium Sulfate. Plants need Nitrogen, Phosphorus, Potassium and quite a few other elements, including some metals. Have a look at the ingredients in, for example, Miracle Grow. That is what the plants need. Just Epsom Salts is like trying to live on donuts and nothing else. You can get composted sheep manure for $2-$5 per bag. Soak that in a barrel of water and then use that for fertilizing to supply organically what is missing when you use just the NOT organic Epsom Salt. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two voices, male and female, on an overnight "red eye" plane flight: "I think everyone's asleep, let's go" Sound of steps. "This one's empty. No one is looking. You go in first" "It's a bit cramped, let me sit down" "Have you got the condom? Quick, put it on" Sniff sniff "Ah perfume! You think of everything." "This is great..." (long sigh) Static on the loud speaker then a new voice. "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing, and it is expressly forbidden by the Government that YOU elected. Now, put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!" --------------- Actually, the easily visible smoke detector is just a decoy and doesn't work. There is usually another one up in the light fixture. If you are on a long flight and need a smoke, do it like the flight crew: Crouch or kneel in front of the toilet. You will hear wind noise from air escaping down the toilet. That air goes straight outside, and does not go past any smoke detectors or past the noses of anybody who might object to your smoking. The flight crew usually prefers that you do that, rather than get grouchy at them. ___________________________________________________

Grinding the Crack
____________________________________________________ A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Twenty," said Buffy. So the girl bought the twenty rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 12 rolls left over. "Buffy," she said. "I bought twenty rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 12 left over!" "Amazing!" said Buffy. "So did I." ____________________________________________________
Watch a slideshow of beautiful destinations.

Today, Sept 13, in
1759 The French were defeated by the British on the Plains 
 of Abraham in the final French and Indian War. 
1789 The United States Government took out its first loan. 
1847 U.S. forces took the hill Chapultepec during the 
 Mexican-American War. 
1862 During the American Civil War General Lee's Order No. 191 
 was found by federal soldiers in Maryland. 
1898 Hannibal Williston Goodwin patented celluloid 
 photographic film, which is used to make movies. 
1922 In El Azizia, Libya, the highest shade temperature was 
 recorded at 136.4 degrees Fahrenheit. 
1935 Aviator Howard Hughes, Jr., of Houston, set a new 
 airspeed record of 352 mph with his H-1 airplane 
 (Winged Bullet). 
1943 Chiang Kai-shek became the president of China. 
1959 The Soviet Union's Luna 2 became the first space probe 
 to reach the moon. It was launched the day before. 
1960 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission banned payola. 
1971 In New York, National Guardsmen stormed the Attica Correctional 
 Facility and put an end to the four-day revolt. A total of 43 
 people were killed in the final assault. A committee was 
 organized to investigate the riot on September 30, 1971. 
1977 The first diesel automobiles were introduced by GM. 
1981 U.S. Secretary of State Alexander M. Haig said the U.S. had 
 physical evidence that Russia and its allies used poisonous 
 biological weapons in Laos, Cambodia and Afghanistan. 
1988 Forecasters reported that Hurricane Gilbert's barometric 
 pressure measured 26.13. It was the strongest hurricane ever 
 recorded in the Western Hemisphere. 
1993 Israel and Palestine signed their first major agreement. 
 Palestine was granted limited self-government in the Gaza 
 Strip and in Jericho. 
1994 U.S. President Bill Clinton signed a $30 billion crime 
 bill into law. 
1998 The New York Times closed its Web site after hackers 
 added offensive material. 
2001 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell named Osama bin Laden 
 as the prime suspect in the terror attacks on the United States 
 on September 11, 2001. Limited commercial flights resumed in 
 the U.S. and Canada for the first time in two days. 
2015  smiled.


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Uninstaller 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 12

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Connecticut man caught driving 112 Mph en route to court to answer prior speeding ticket Details at Boneheads Today, September 12, in 1873 The first practical typewriter was sold to customers. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it. --- Emerson Pugh Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. --- Nick Diamos "Now there's an updated version of the three R's: Readin', 'Remote control handling', and Replacin' the batteries in the remote control." --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "Noooo,...she explained, "he tried to move the wet laundry from the washer into the dryer all by himself." ______________________________________________________ Son: "Here's my report card, Dad, along with one of your old ones I found in the attic." Dad: "Well, Son, you're right. Your report card isn't any better than mine was. I guess the only fair thing to do is give you exactly the same as what my father gave me when I brought that one home. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for her 9/11 picture: Cape May, NJ lighthouse, with flags at half mast for 9/11 ______________________________________________________ A very dirty, grubby little boy came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I?" Ready to play the game, she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the boy. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I am so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Noella An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Seth Tichenor, 33, Vermont, Connecticut
Connecticut man caught driving 112 Mph en route to court to answer prior speeding ticket A Connecticut man on his way to court to “take care of a speeding ticket” was arrested yesterday after cops clocked his car going 112 miles an hour, according to police. Seth Tichenor, 33, was arrested Wednesday afternoon by Vermont State Police officers who stopped his car on Interstate 89. Tichenor, seen in the mug shot, was pulled over after other drivers called 911 to report a “vehicle traveling in excess of 100 mph and weaving in and out of traffic.” Cops subsequently clocked Tichenor’s car going nearly 50 miles above the road's posted 65 mph limit. Tichenor, who “was headed to traffic court to take care of a speeding ticket,” was busted for negligent driving and speeding, police reported. He is scheduled for an October 27 court appearance. ----------------- I used to drive like that, but outgrew it.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Revo Uninstaller Dear Webby, Think you right about uninstalling software. But Revo has 3 or 4 levels. I use the one above Safe mode. Get more registry entries to delete. Then can compact the Registry. Revo will usually use the target System's own uninstall as first step. Funny when the deleted system warns user it will no longer work. But one important step in Revo is to ignore the old system's Reboot Now display. Must decline and completete the Revo Uninstall process that rids PC of the rest of the bits. And pieces. And run CrapCleaner to check for more Registry junk. Plus usually defrag the disk afterwards. But prior to re-installations. Moe Thanks Moe! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning 'til night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and un- bothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied:"Sorry, I can't hear a thing. The battery in my hearing aid went dead a few years ago." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com DIY Workout Foam Roller Foam rollers are all the rage now for after workout muscle pain relief, therapy, and injury prevention. I bought mine online for around $30 and cannot be without it. However, I'm not willing to pay that price over and over again every time I travel and don't want to carry it around with me. Here's how to make your own for under $5. Approximate Time: 3 minutes Yield: 1 foam roller Supplies: 1 6 inch x 2 foot PVC pipe 1 towel or yoga mat 2 large rubberbands Steps: Take your towel or yoga mat and carefully roll it around the PVC pipe on the floor. Make sure there are no wrinkles. Secure the towel or mat on to the pipe with your two large rubber bands. The thicker the towel or mat, the more gentle it will be on your muscles. If you want a gentle massage, keep adding layers of fabric. Get on and roll away! By attosa [119] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United." Joe answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" John answered, "Mom." ___________________________________________________

Slinningsbålet 2010 Bonfire World record!
____________________________________________________ Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night? "He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?" ____________________________________________________
What a beautiful library in Austria!

Today, Sept 12, in
1609 English explorer Henry Hudson sailed down what is now 
 known as the Hudson River. 
1814 During the War of 1812, the Battle of North Point was 
 fought in Maryland. 
1873 The first practical typewriter was sold to customers. 
1878 Patent litigation involving the Bell Telephone Company 
 against Western Union Telegraph Company and Elisha Gray 
 began. The issues were over various telephone patents. 
1914 The first battle of Marne ended when the allied forces 
 stopped the German offensive in France. 
1916 Adelina and August Van Buren finished the first successful 
 transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. 
 They started in New York City on July 5, 1916. 
1918 During World War I, At the Battle of St. Mihiel, U.S. Army 
 personnel operate tanks for the first time. The tanks were 
 French-built. 
1922 The Episcopal Church removed the word "Obey" from the 
 bride's section of wedding vows. 
1938 In a speech, Adolf Hitler demanded self-determination for 
 the Sudeten Germans in Czechoslovakia. 
1940 The Lascaux paintings were discovered in France. The cave 
 paintings were 17,000 years old and were some of the best 
 examples of art from the Paleolithic period. 
1943 During World War II, Benito Mussolini was taken by German 
 paratroopers from the Italian government that was holding him. 
1944 U.S. Army troops entered Germany, near Trier, for the 
 first time during World War II. 
1953 U.S. Senator John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline Lee Bouvier. 
1953 Nikita Krushchev was elected as the first secretary of the 
 Communist Party of the Soviet Union. 
1954 "Lassie" made its television debut on CBS. The last show aired 
 on September 12, 1971. 
1963 The last episode of "Leave it to Beaver" was aired. The show 
 had debuted on October 4, 1957. 
1974 Violence occurred on the opening day of classes in Boston, MA, 
 due opposition to court-ordered school "busing." 
1974 Emperor Haile Selassie was taken out of power by Ethiopia's 
 military after ruling for 58 years. 
1977 South African anti-apartheid activist Stephen Biko died at the 
 age of 30. The student leader died while in police custody which 
 triggered an international outcry. 
1983 Arnold Schwarzenegger became a U.S. citizen. He had emigrated 
 from Austria 14 years earlier. 
1984 Michael Jordan signed a seven-year contract to play basketball 
 with the Chicago Bulls. 
1991 The space shuttle Discovery took off on a mission to deploy an 
 observatory that was to study the Earth's ozone layer. 
1992 Police in Peru captured Shining Path founder Abimael Guzman. 
2009 Steve Jobs announced that Apple's iTunes had 88% of the legal 
 U.S. music download market.
2015  smiled.


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Programs to speed up a PC 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, September 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon man arrested for torching an apartment full of people Details at Boneheads Today, September 11, in 2001 In the U.S., four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally crashed by Muslim extremists. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. About 3,000 innocent people were killed. Now various US universities are teaching that the 9/11 attacks were the fault of the US and that the al Qaeda terrorists are the real victims. See NY Post 2015/09/06/ 2012 Terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya. The American ambassador and four former marines, who had been working nearby and rushed to defend the US ambassador, but were denied airborne support, were brutally murdered and ten others were injured. Airborne support was there and ready, but ordered to hold off. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton fell on her head a few weeks later and could not remember that order. The Marines will always remember. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Anything too stupid to be said is sung. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. --- Jim Horning ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package." ______________________________________________________ was waiting on a London street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist. 's comment was: "A bit airy...." Hearing this, the girl replied indignantly, " 'ell yes! What did you expect ..... feathers?!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint. "I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one. "CTC? Who are they?" "You know, like," she responded, "Call Them Collect." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Noella An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Aaron Bigsby, 28, Portland, Oregon
Oregon man arrested for torching an apartment full of people An arson suspect is shown on surveillance video carrying a gasoline can moments before witnesses saw him use a lighter to start an apartment fire, according to prosecutors. Joshua Aaron Bigsby, was invited to the apartment after meeting the tenants late Friday and into early Saturday morning at the Fortune Star Lounge in southeast Portland, according to court documents filed by Multnomah County Deputy District Attorney Annie Shoen. A fight broke out between some of the tenants and Bigsby, who was asked to leave. Bigsby and “his companions” left, but he returned a short time later and forced his way into the apartment with “an old style lighter in one hand and a gas can in the other,” according to Shoen’s affidavit. One of the witnesses inside the apartment told investigators she watched the resident try to hold the door closed while Bigsby kicked in the door and poured gasoline on him, according to court documents. The witness said she saw Bigsby light the victim on fire. The woman retreated and jumped out a second-story window. At least four adults and two sleeping children, ages 3 and 6, were inside the apartment when the fire was set, according to court records. The video that investigators were able to get allegedly showed Bigsby carrying a gas can, go out of view of the camera, and then run back into view. Bigsby lost a shoe that appeared to be on fire. Investigators learned of Bigsby after some of the people who had met him at the lounge said he introduced himself as “Josh Bigsby,” according to court documents. Portland Fire & Rescue investigator Rich McGraw was able to compare Bigsby’s Facebook page and the surveillance and confirmed they appeared to be the same person, court documents state. By Sunday, officers learned of Bigsby’s address and took him into custody. Bigsby appeared in court Tuesday and a not guilty plea was entered on his behalf. He has been charged with 7 counts of first-degree arson and one count each of second-degree assault, first-degree burglary, first-degree criminal mischief, and recklessly endangering another person. He is scheduled to be back in court on September 16.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richi Re: Speeding up a computer Dear Webby, I am wondering if there are any programs that really speed up the computer?I have glary utilities but it doesn't seem to do the job,do those actually work and speed up the computer? Have a gr8 day.love your letter... tyvm Richi Dear Richi The Glary utilities may have some parts, that might be useful to you, but they are not known for speeding up anything. About the only one that does more than waste time and put on a cute song and dance is PC-Mechanic. See the blue banner on the Humor Letter. It actually did speed up my machine. No program will add more processor speed, RAM or hard drive space. There are some tricks you CAN use, though. UNinstall ALL programs, that you are not using. Most people have programs, that they once tried, or downloaded and were going to try some day. Get rid of them by using their UNinstaller, or uninstall them from the control panel. You can also use the free Revo Uninstaller They use space on the hard drive, and clutter up the registry, and almost every program also comes with a bunch of fonts. They are usually quite useless, but use RAM whenever that program is loaded. If it is a program that loads automatically, even though you haven't used it for many years, that is a total waste of RAM. Get rid of it! Then run a program like PC-Mechanic to get rid of their registry fragments. Once you have gotten rid of all the not used programs, defrag the hard drive. Defragler from the same people who gave us CrapCleaner, does a pretty good job, better than the built in Windows defrag. Keep in mind, during defrag everything slows down. It's AFTER the defrag that you will notice the improvement. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day, a foreign family arrived in New York City. This was the first time out of their native village, and it didn't take long before the wife got lost. The husband asked a passerby for help and was told to go to the police and report it. When he got there, a police officer asked him for the wife's description. "What's that?" asked the man. "Well, you see a description is telling what something looks like. For example, my wife is 25-years-old, 5'11", 140 lbs, 38-25-36 measurements. Now, what can you tell me about your wife?" "Maria can wait, lets go look for yours!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Spice Tins I was at my friend Erin's house for dinner over the weekend and I noticed she had her spice tins displayed in this super creative way. She bought rare earth style magnets at Fred Meyer and stuck all her spice tins to the side of her fridge using 2 magnets per tin. Magnetic spice tins are really popular right now, but require buying a whole new set. Erin said she really liked the idea and had been thinking of purchasing them until she realized all her spices were all ready in tins. Another great tip she shared with me is that she turns the tins around when they are empty so she knows to buy more of that spice to fill the tin back up. This is a great way to organize your spice tins up and out of the way. I also love the way they look displayed on the side of the fridge. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Joe's daughter's eighth grade history class planned a visit to the US capital. Unfortunately, she was not greatly enthusiastic about a trip that she considered too "educational" to be fun. However, on their return, Joe was pleased to hear how she and her classmates had been filled with awe and emotion as they gazed at the Washington Monument. "To think, dad," she marveled. "We were standing right where Forrest Gump stood." ___________________________________________________

Carolyn & Rookie (dancing dog)
____________________________________________________ A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! By the way, who are you?" ____________________________________________________
A triple nave stave Church in Norway built between 1180 and 1250 AD. I wonder what kind of wood it was built of to last so many centuries.

Today, Sept 11, in
1297 Scotsman William Wallace defeated the English forces of 
 Sir Hugh de Cressingham at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. 
1499 French forces took over Milan, Italy. 
1609 Explorer Henry Hudson sailed into New York harbor and 
 discovered Manhattan Island and the Hudson River. 
1695 Imperial troops under Eugene of Savoy defeated the 
 Turks at the Battle of Zenta. 
1709 An Anglo-Dutch-Austrian force defeated the French 
 in the Battle of Malplaquet. 
1714 Spanish and French troops broke into Barcelona 
 and ended Catalonia's sovereignty after 13 months of seige. 
1777 American forces, under General George Washington, were 
 forced to retreat at the Battle of Brandywine Creek by 
 British forces under William Howe. The Stars and Stripes 
 (American flag) were carried for the first time in the battle. 
1814 The U.S. fleet defeated a squadron of British ships in 
 the Battle of Lake Champlain, VT. 
1842 1,400 Mexican troops captured San Antonio, TX. The Mexicans 
 retreated with prisoners. 
1855 The siege of Sevastopol ended when French, British and 
 Piedmontese troops captured the main naval base of the Russian 
 Black fleet in the Crimean War. 
1875 "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the 
 New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to 
 appear in a newspaper. 
1877 The first comic-character timepiece was patented by the 
 Waterbury Clock Company. 
1883 The mail chute was patented by James Cutler. The new 
 device was first used in the Elwood Building in Rochester, NY. 
1897 A ten-week strike of coal workers in Pennsylvania, WV, and 
 Ohio came to an end. The workers won an eight-hour workday, 
 semi-monthly pay, and company stores were abolished. 
1904 The U.S. battleship Connecticut was launched in New York. 
1910 In Hollywood, the first commercially successful electric 
 bus line opened. 
1926 In Honolulu Harbor, HI, the Aloha Tower was dedicated. 
1936 Boulder Dam in Nevada was dedicated by U.S. President 
 Franklin D. Roosevelt by turning on the dam's first 
 hydroelectric generator. The dam is now called Hoover Dam. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt gave orders to 
 attack any German or Italian vessels found in U.S. defensive 
 waters. The U.S. had not officially entered World War II at this time. 
1941 Charles A. Lindbergh brought on charges of anti-Semitism 
 with a speech in which he blamed "the British, the Jewish and 
 the Roosevelt administration" for trying to draw the United 
 States into World War II. 
1941 In Arlington, VA, the groundbreaking ceremony for the Pentagon 
 took place. 
1952 Dr. Charles Hufnagel successfully replaced a diseased aorta 
 valve with an artificial valve made of plastic. 
1959 The U.S. Congress passed a bill authorizing the creation of 
 food stamps. 
1965 The 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile) arrived in South Vietnam 
 and was stationed at An Khe. 
1974 "Little House On The Prairie" made its television debut. 
1977 The Atari 2600 was released. It was originally sold as the 
 Atari VCS. The system was discontinued on January 1, 1992. 
1985 A U.S. satellite passed through the tail of the 
 Giacobini-Zinner comet. It was the first on-the-spot sampling 
 of a comet. 
1990 U.S. President Bush vowed "Saddam Hussein will fail" while 
 addressing Congress on the Persian Gulf crisis. In the speech 
 Bush spoke of an objective of a new world order "freer from 
 the threat of terror, stronger in the pursuit of justice, and 
 more secure in the quest for peace". 
1991 Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev announced that thousands 
of troops would be drawn out of Cuba. 
1997 Scotland voted to create its own Parliament after 290 years 
 of union with England. 
1998 Independent counsel Kenneth Starr sent a report to the U.S. 
 Congress accusing President Clinton of 11 possible impeachable 
 offenses. 
1999 The Wall Street Journal reported that Bayer Corp. had quit 
 putting a wad of cotton in their bottles of aspirin. Bayer had 
 actually stopped the practice earlier in the year. 
2001 In the U.S., four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally 
 crashed. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center, which collapsed 
 shortly after, in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon 
 in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in 
 Pennsylvania. About 3,000 people were killed. 
2012 Terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya. 
 The American ambassador and four former marines, who had been 
 working nearby and came to help but were denied airborne support,
 were brutally murdered and ten others were injured. Airborne 
 support was there and ready, but ordered to hold off.
2015  smiled.


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Too many fonts slowing down Windows 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 10.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alaskan man who raped 2-year-old, killed elderly couple gets 359 years in prison Details at Boneheads Today, September 10, 1813 The first defeat of British naval squadron occurred in the Battle of Lake Erie during the War of 1812. The leader of the U.S. fleet sent the famous message "We have met the enemy, and they are ours" to U.S. General William Henry Harrison. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not." --- Isaac Asimov (1920-1992) "When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong." --- Richard Buckminster Fuller ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise." ______________________________________________________ Doctor: "Have you ever been troubled by appendicitis?" Patient: "Only when I've tried to spell it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day Father Boudreaux and Father Thibodeaux wus fishin on da side of da road. So as not a make it obvius that they were fishing, they hung a big religious poster over a highway sign. Actually it was da back offa Madonna poster and dey had hand lettered on it: "The End is Near! Turn yurself 'Round now afore it's too late!" Well, dis one car dat passed didn't appreciate the sign an da driver wus shouting at dem and hollerin "Go to hell, you religious nuts!" Den all of a sudden dey heard a big splash, an dey looked at each other, an Fr. Boudreaux said ..... "Ya tink it's maybbie bad luck ta hang your nekkid Madonna poster onn da 'Bridge Out' sign?" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jerry Active, 27, Togiak, Alaska
Alaskan man who raped 2-year-old, killed elderly couple gets 359 years in prison An Alaska man convicted of raping a 2-year-old girl and killing her great-grandparents was sentenced Friday to 359 years in prison for the repulsive crimes. Jerry Active was unremorseful as a judge handed down the punishment for the horrific 2013 attack on the Mountain View family, the Alaska Dispatch News reported. "I'll stand by my innocence until the end," Active said in the Anchorage courtroom, blaming his guilty verdict on a white jury, according to KTUU 2. The monster was found guilty in April of beating to death 71-year-old Touch Chea and his 73-year-old wife Sorn Sreap after raping Sreap and her 2-year-old great-granddaughter, police said. He also sexually assaulted a 90-year-old woman, who died in June. The sickening attack had shaken investigators for its brutality. Seasoned detectives had called the crimes the "worst thing they had ever seen in their lives," police department spokeswoman Anita Shell said at the time. The Togiak, Alaska, man entered the doomed family's home at random in May 2013. He was found guilty on 10 felony counts, including first-degree murder, multiple counts of sexual assault, sexually abusing a minor and robbery. Active, who was 24 at the time of the killing, had been released early from prison just hours before the attacks, according to state officials. He was set free on probation after serving part of a seven-year sentence for pleading guilty to breaking into an Alaska home in 2009 and sexually assaulting a child and other residents. "Mr. Active's actions will remain a scar on the community," Anchorage Superior Court Judge Philip Volland said, according to the Alaska Dispatch News. "These murders were senseless, brutal, bloody and bloodthirsty."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elise Re: How many Fonts are too many for Windows 7? Dear Webby, My Windows is gertting really slow whenever I do any word processing. Is it a case of too many fonts? Elise Dear too many fonts can slow down your computer when you use applications such as word processors and spreadsheets that use the fonts managed by Windows 7. These performance slowdowns can take the form of applications taking a long time to load, making the font drop down menu of an application almost impossible to use, and too much memory being used up by your computer to manage all of those fonts. There are no hard and fast rules that determine how many fonts is too many; it depends on how many fonts you have installed in Windows 7, how much memory you have in your PC, and the type of processor you have. Dealing with too many fonts means deleting those that you don’t need. When you do, you will also notice that it is easier to find the font you want because you won’t have to wade through hundreds of fonts. One of the problems is that many programs install a bunch of their own favorite fonts. That would not be a problem, if you didn't already have a hundred, or a few hundred fonts, that you have collected over the years. Unless you have 64 GB of RAM, dump all the ones, that you are not really using. It's not a kids bragging world about who has more fonts, but who has a more responsive machine. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra hundred dollar bill. Bye." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pantyhose to Catch Washing Machine Lint A washing machine repairman told me to put a pantyhose leg on the pipe that drains into our slop sink. I was surprised to see how much lint it caught. All that lint would eventually clog our drain, and plumbers are expensive! I also have a mesh filter in the drain itself. I use the good leg from a ripped pair of pantyhose. I also go to garage sales and buy pantyhose for a good price, so I always have some on hand. Source: Washing machine repairman By Judy Pariser S. [28] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "OOOPS!." ___________________________________________________

Swan Lake - Great Chinese State Circus amazing ending
____________________________________________________ A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening." ____________________________________________________
So gymnastic cycling is a thing and it’s amazing to see.

Today, Sept 10, in
1608 John Smith was elected president of the Jamestown, 
 VA colony council. 
1813 The first defeat of British naval squadron occurred in 
 the Battle of Lake Erie during the War of 1812. The leader 
 of the U.S. fleet sent the famous message "We have met 
 the enemy, and they are ours" to U.S. General William 
 Henry Harrison. 
1845 King Willem II opened Amsterdam Stock exchange. 
1846 Elias Howe received a patent for his sewing machine. 
1847 The first theater opened in Hawaii. 
1862 Rabbi Jacob Frankel became the first Jewish Army 
 chaplain. 
1897 British police arrested George Smith for drunken 
 driving. It was the first DWI. 
1899 A second quake in seven days hit Yakutat Bay, AK. 
 It measured 8.6. 
1913 The Lincoln Highway opened. It was the first paved 
 coast-to-coast highway in the U.S. 
1919 New York City welcomed home 25,000 soldiers and 
 General John J. Pershing who had served in the First 
 Division during World War I. 
1919 Austria and the Allies signed the Treaty of 
 St.-Germain-en-Laye. Austria recognized the independence 
 of Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia. 
1921 The Ayus Autobahn in Germany opened near Berlin. 
 The road is known for its nonexistent speed limit. 
1923 The Irish Free state joined the League of Nations. 
1926 Germany joined the League of Nations. 
1935 "Popeye" was heard on NBC radio for the first time. 
1939 Canada declared war on Germany. 
1940 In Britain, Buckingham Palace was hit by German bomb. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt mandated gasoline 
 rationing as part of the U.S. wartime effort. 
1943 German forces began their occupation of Rome during 
 World War II. 
1948 Mildred "Axis Sally" Gillars was indicted for treason 
 in Washington, DC. Gillars was a Nazi radio propagandist 
 during World War II. She was convicted and spent 12 years 
 in prison. 
1951 Britain began an economic boycott of Iran. 
1953 Swanson began selling its first "TV dinner." 
1955 "Gunsmoke" premiered on CBS. 
1956 Great Britain performed a nuclear test at Maralinga, 
 Australia. 
1963 Twenty black students entered public schools in Alabama 
 at the end of a standoff between federal authorities and 
 Alabama governor George C. Wallace. 
1977 "Mickey Finn" appeared in the comic pages for the last time. 
1979 U.S. President Carter granted clemency to four Puerto 
 Rican nationalists who had been imprisoned for an attack on the 
 U.S. House of Representatives in 1954 and an attempted 
 assassination of U.S. President Truman in 1950. 
1989 Hungary gave permission to thousands of East German 
 refugees and visitors to immigrate to West Germany. 
1990 Iran agreed to resume full diplomatic ties with past 
 enemy Iraq. 
1990 Iraq's Saddam Hussein offered free oil to developing nations 
 in an attempt to win their support during the Gulf War Crisis. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton met with members of his Cabinet to 
 apologize, ask forgiveness and promise to improve as a person 
 in the wake of the scandal involving Monica Lewinsky. 
1999 A bronze sculpture of a war horse just over 24 feet high was 
 dedicated in Milan, Italy. 
2002 Florida tested its new elections system. The test resulted 
 in polling stations opening late and problems occurred with the 
 touch screen voting machines. 
2002 The "September 11: Bearing Witness to History" exhibit opened 
 at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History. 
2002 Switzerland became the 190th member of the United Nations.
2015  smiled.


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How accurate is MailWasher? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 9.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alaska couple arrested for stealing trooper's car Details at Boneheads Today, September 9, 1994 The U.S. agreed to accept about 20,000 Cuban immigrants a year. This was in return for Cuba's promise to halt the flight of refugees. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capital letters. For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement: "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse." Is everybody clear on that? ______________________________________________________ Three old ladies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked by, and one of the old ladies said, "We bet we can tell how old you are." The old man said "there ain't no way you can guess it". One of the old ladies said: "Sure we can. Drop your pants!" He did. The old ladies stared at him for a while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!" The old man was stunned. "Amazing. How did you guess that?" The old ladies, laughing and slapping their knees, "You told us yesterday". ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Aw, come now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "What happened to my trailer and my boat and the twelve cases of beer in it? ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 38-year-old Joshua Watford 28-year-old Amber Watford Wasilla, Alaska
Alaska couple arrested for stealing trooper's car A man and woman from Big Lake are wanted by Alaska State Trooper for stealing a Trooper vehicle Wednesday afternoon, the agency says. Troopers say 38-year-old Joshua Watford was being arrested on a warrant at North Shore Pawn, near the intersection of Big Lake Road and North Shore Drive around 2:26 p.m. While Watford was cuffed and secured in the back of the Trooper vehicle, a passing motorist stopped and began talking to the Trooper about an unrelated issue. At that time, 28-year-old Amber Watford got into the driver's seat of the Trooper vehicle and drove away with Joshua Watford in the backseat. The Trooper vehicle was located about an hour later on W. Fireweed Drive, just about a mile away, unoccupied and undamaged. The empty handcuffs were on the back seat. An Anchorage Police Department K-9 unit was called to assist in the search, which also included a trooper helicopter and Wildlife Troopers. The search lasted until about 6:30 p.m. They were arrested by Alaska State Troopers for stealing a Trooper vehicle, around 7:30 pm Thursday. Troopers say in a dispatch, 38-year-old Joshua Watford and 28-year-old Amber Watford were found and arrested in a Wasilla home located on Alvin's Alley. Troopers also found a stolen 2000 Dodge pickup truck at the Wasilla home. It was recovered and returned back to the owner. The Watfords have a reputation in the valley for stealing vehicles and dealing dope.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bernard Re: Mailwasher Dear Webby, You and quite a few others have favorably mentioned Mailwasher for getting rid of spam. How accurate is it? Bernard Dear Bernard As is, just a fresh installation without any tuning, it is already quite excellent. However, when new, you watch it's RecycleBin, restore mails that it should not have clipped, and either add the senders to the friends list, or make filters. You also make filters for stuff, that it SHOULD have clipped, but didn't. The filters are incredibly versatile. You can use AND, OR, AND-BUT NOT IF, and just about any regular expression, that you can think of. You can also make the filters to EXCUSE mail from friends. So even if a friend mentiones a certain medication, his or her mail does not get dumped. For the action you can specify that it considers the mail legit, adds it to the Friends list, deletes it and adds it to the black list, deletes it automatically on the server, without even showing it's subject line in the preview. Even though MailWasher is great as is, it becomes really effective when you tune it to your own requirements. Making filters is easy. It becomes a war game between you and the spammers. As soon as you detect a pattern, more than one or two spammers using the same schtick, you make a filter, and watch the recycle bin for a few days, to see if it is too trigger-happy and mmurders innocent mails. You can even bounce email. I don't recommend that, since spammers use fake adresses anyway. However, you can use the bounce for your Mother-In-Law, exes, etc. My Mailwasher cheers me every time I see "45 mails, 43 deleted" and only two show up in the preview list. You can get MailWasher at http://webby.com/mailwasher. It is good for 3 machines, and has a 90 day money back guarantee. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Bob On a recent flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in the air-sickness bag that they so kindly provide, though in the last 30 years I have never seen anybody use them for anything other than saving un-eaten food for later, usually to eat while hiding in a quiet corner of the airport and having a smoke or two during the wait for the next plane. When I exited the plane a stewardess asked me: "Sir, would you like me to dispose of that for you?" As usual, I grinned and told her: "Oh, No! I'm saving it for my wife!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pantyhose to Catch Washing Machine Lint A washing machine repairman told me to put a pantyhose leg on the pipe that drains into our slop sink. I was surprised to see how much lint it caught. All that lint would eventually clog our drain, and plumbers are expensive! I also have a mesh filter in the drain itself. I use the good leg from a ripped pair of pantyhose. I also go to garage sales and buy pantyhose for a good price, so I always have some on hand. Source: Washing machine repairman By Judy Pariser S. [28] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of her next-door neighbor. arrived in time to prepare breakfast and laid a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child. "Mother always serves hot biscuits for breakfast," said the eight-year-old. So, , very eager to oblige, hurried into the kitchen and quickly prepared a plate of hot biscuits and laid them in front of the girl. "No, thank you," she said. "But I thought you said your mother always prepares hot biscuits for breakfast!" said in surprise. "She does," said the child. "But I don't eat them." ___________________________________________________

Spock was an Indian before he was a Vulcan
____________________________________________________ One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, his father said, "Oh, about a quarter of them." ____________________________________________________
James Doran Webb's book of some of his driftwood sculptures.

Today, Sept 9, in
490 B.C. The Battle of Marathon took place between the 
 invading Persian army and the Athenian Army.
1776 The second Continental Congress officially made the 
 term "United States", replacing the previous term 
 "United Colonies." 
1836 Abraham Lincoln received his license to practice law. 
1850 California became the 31st state to join the union. 
1904 Mounted police were used for the first time in the 
 City of New York. 
1911 Italy declared war on the Ottoman Turks and annexed 
 Libya, Tripolitania, and Cyrenaica in North Africa. 
1919 The majority of Boston's police force went on strike. 
 The force was made up of 1,500 men. 
1919 Alexander Graham Bell and Casey Baldwin's HD-4, a 
 hydrofoil craft, set a world marine speed record. 
1942 Japan dropped incendiaries in an attempt to set fire 
 to the forests in Oregon and Washington. The forest did 
 not ignite. 
1943 During World War II Allied forces landed at Taranto 
 and Salerno. 
1948 North Korea became the People's Democratic Republic 
 of Korea. 
1965 French President Charles de Gaulle announced that 
 France was withdrawing from NATO to protest the domination 
 of the U.S. in the organization. 
1971 Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings retired from the 
 National Hockey League (NHL). 
1981 Nicaragua declared a state of economic emergency and 
 banned strikes. 
1983 The Soviet Union announced that the Korean jetliner 
 that was shot down on September 1, 1983 was not an accident 
 or an error. 
1986 Frank Reed was taken hostage in Lebanon by pro-Iranian 
 kidnappers. The director of a private school in Lebanon 
 was released 44 months later. 
1986 Gennadiy Zakharov was indicted by a New York jury on 
 espionage charges. Zakharov was a Soviet United Nations employee. 
1993 Israeli and PLO leaders agreed to recognize each other. 
1994 The U.S. agreed to accept about 20,000 Cuban immigrants 
 a year. This was in return for Cuba's promise to halt the 
 flight of refugees. 
1994 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off on an 11-day 
 mission. 
1997 Sinn Fein, the IRA's political ally, formally renounced 
 violence as it took its place in talks on Northern 
 Ireland's future. 
1998 Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr delivered to the U.S. 
 Congress 36 boxes of material concerning his investigation 
 of U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 Four tourists who had paid $32,500 each were taken in 
 a submarine to view the wreckage of the Titanic. The ship 
 is 2 miles below the Atlantic off Newfoundland. 
1999 The Sega Dreamcast game system went on sale. By 1:00pm 
 all Toys R Us locations in the U.S. had sold out. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 100 million applications 
 downloaded. 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.8 billion applications 
 downloaded. 
2014 Apple unveiled the iPhone 6, iPhone 6 Plus, Apple Watch, 
 Apple Watch Sport and Apple Watch Edition. 
2015  smiled.


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What is Linux on a stick? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, September 8.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida gang member had an invalid excuse for fleeing a police officer Details at Boneheads Today, September 8, 1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent European settlement in North America at present-day St. Augustine, FL. 1930 The cartoon "Blondie" made its first appearance in the comic strips. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie. "We love because it's the only true adventure." --- Nikki Giovanni The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution. --- Hannah Arendt (1906 - 1975) With the exception of politicians, liberals will become conservatives as soon as they get a steady job and a house. --- Socratex In order to succeed beyond your wildest expectations, first you need some wild expectations. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ 's teacher was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes west longitude?" After a few seconds silence, said: "I guess you'd be eating alone, I can't swim that far." (That is way out in the Atlantic, 45 degrees West of Greenwich, England) ______________________________________________________ I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Dad, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Carole for this picture of her Corn Spider: This was my beautiful corn spider. Her black was like velvet and the yellow was so bright. I fed her grasshoppers and she really got big. Then she left. Carole ______________________________________________________ In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Taurus Jabriel Brown 19, Clearwater, Floriduh
Invalid excuse ever for fleeing a police officer A wonderfully quotable Florida gang member who tried to run from a cop after being found with marijuana explained that, “I don’t like white people touching me, white people do weird stuff.” Officer Joseph May was at a Clearwater gas station early Tuesday morning when he was approached by Taurus Jabriel Brown, whom the cop recognized as “a gang member from the community I work in,” according to a police report. Brown, 19, told May that he “would like to be a police officer one day.” The teen then shook hands with the cop, who noticed a marijuana blunt tucked behind Brown’s ear. “Is this weed?” May asked. “How stupid are you?” After being asked to place his hands behind his back, Brown reportedly “tensed, pulled away, and attempted to run out of the front door.” He did not get far, thanks to a takedown move executed by the Clearwater Police Department patrolman. “Damn, man, all this for weed. Wow, bro, you must want to make an arrest,” said Brown, who added, “I’ll plead guilty, I’ll go to court and plead guilty, please don’t take me to jail. Can you tell the judge I plead guilty?” When Officer May asked Brown why he tried to flee, the teen replied, “I don’t like white people touching me, white people do weird stuff.” Asked by May to further expound on his thoughts, Brown said, “Nah, I’m playing. I let you catch me.” But he then added, “White people are weird as fuck, doe.” Brown, pictured above, was charged with pot possession and obstruction, both misdemeanors. He remains locked up in the county jail on $300 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Gwenda Re: Linux on a stick Dear Webby, I have heard about Linux on a stick. Is that something real or just a phrase? Where can I get one? Gwenda Dear Gwenda Anybody who has a linux system can make a "Live CD" for you, to try out their flavor of Linux. Nowadays they can even use a thumb-drive or camera chip for that. A "Live CD", whether it is on a CD, DVD, Thumb-Drive or camera chip lets you boot up into Linux and run Linux without uninstalling Windows. It just temporarioly nudges it over a bit. Naturally, with the Operating System on a thumb drive or camera chip, things are a bit slower, than if Linux was installed on the hard drive. However, it does give you a nearly complete look and feel of that particular flavor of Linux. Then you get a stick from some other friend or neighbor with a different flavor of Linux. Try not to get those people together. They tend to get right religious about the advantages of their chosen flavor. Once you have chosen one flavor, that you like, for example Ubuntu, which is very popular for home and small to medium offices, you can tell it to do a full installation onto the hard drive. It will nudge Windows over a bit, make a new partition and put the Linux operating system on that. Don't worry, it is not going to ask you any weird questions. It is all done for you. After that you still get the dual-boot choice on start-up, selecting whether to run in Windows or in Linux. Some people also use Linux sticks when they go traveling. They stick that into a motel courtesy computer, reboot, and are in their familiar Linux desktop, without any of the restrictions the motel put onto the motel's Windows. A standard 4 GB camera chip is plenty for Linux plus a lot of space left over for pictures. Linux typically takes a bit less than 2 GB. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Nail File to Prevent Repetitive Stress Injuries Repetitive stress injuries, such as carpal tunnel or flexor tendonitis, can disable workers. As a RN, 12 hours of opening individually packaged pills caused my flexor tendonitis. I finally figured out that a steel nail file could open that packaging without twisting or prying. That file is pointed but not sharp. It easily tears into the packs without being a sharps hazard. It's as washable as my hands. It is even faster than the old way. It should be equally useful in other jobs requiring opening mail, cardboard boxes, etc. You can also take it places you can't take a pocket knife. If I had been a little brighter, I could have figured this out before I got flexor tendonitis injuries. Protect your livelihood. Your ability to work is your most valuable asset. If your job requires frequent and repetitive motions, think it through! By george burnett [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Only in Oklahoma can you hear.... "You wanna Coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper." "Sorry, we only got Pepsi" ___________________________________________________

how to age gracefully (not just about females)
____________________________________________________ A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter. ____________________________________________________
How would you like to sleep on the side of a mountain? The view is magnificent!

Today, Sept 8, in
1565 A Spanish expedition established the first permanent 
 European settlement in North America at present-day 
 St. Augustine, FL. 
1664 The Dutch surrendered New Amsterdam to the British, 
 who then renamed it New York. 
1866 The first recorded birth of sextuplets took place in 
 Chicago, IL. The parents were James and Jennie Bushnell. 
1892 An early version of "The Pledge of Allegiance" 
 appeared in "The Youth's Companion." 
1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was passed by 
 the Legislative Council. It was consented by the governor 
 on September 19 giving women in New Zealand the right to vote. 
1935 U.S. Senator Huey P. Long, "The Kingfish" of Louisiana 
 politics, was shot and mortally wounded. He died two days later. 
1945 In Washington, DC, a bus equipped with a two-way radio 
 was put into service for the first time. 
1951 A peace treaty with Japan was signed by 48 other nations 
 in San Francisco, CA. 
1952 The Ernest Hemingway novel "The Old Man and the Sea" was 
 published. 
1960 NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville, AL, 
 was dedicated by U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower. The 
 facility had been activated in July earlier that year. 
1966 NBC-TV aired the first episode of "Star Trek" entitled 
 "The Man Trap". The show was canceled on September 2, 1969. 
1973 Hank Aaron hit his 709th home run. 
1974 U.S. President Ford granted an unconditional pardon to 
 former U.S. President Nixon. 
1975 In Boston, MA, public schools began their court-ordered 
 citywide busing program amid scattered incidents of violence. 
1997 America Online acquired CompuServe. 
1999 Russia's Mission Control switched off the Mir space 
 station's central computer and other systems to save energy 
 during a planned six months of unmanned flights. 
2015  smiled.


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What is Ubuntu? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, September 7.

Thank you, James!!



Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a SC teen caught stealing bondage gear Details at Boneheads Today, September 7, 1812 Napoleon defeated the Russian army of Alexander I at the battle of Borodino. 1930 The cartoon "Blondie" made its first appearance in the comic strips. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. --- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ John's barn burned down and his wife, Sandy, called the insurance company. Sandy spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that barn insured for twohundred and fifty thousand, and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth." There was a long pause, and then Sandy replied, "If that's how it works, cancel the life insurance policy on my husband RIGHT NOW!!" ______________________________________________________ At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. He was served a piece of meat, and as he picked it up with his fork, he held it up and smirked: "Is this pig?" Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: "Which end of the fork are you referring to?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Showing its beauty in Pismo Beach CA today. ~~ Lillemor ______________________________________________________ Yesterday was Bill's graduation. And as he walked across the stage, the Dean handed his diploma to him, nicely rolled up and tied with a ribbon. Once she handed it to him, he could finally tell that [censored] what he REALLY thought about her. So he leaned across her podium and looked her straight in the eye. "Hey [censored]" he said. "You're so darn ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on!" And then he walked off the stage, and went home. Bill felt just as good as he had imagined it would for the last four years. Today, he unwrapped his diploma, framed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly exclaims to the world: "In order to receive your diploma, please present this certificate to the Dean of your college after final grades have been posted!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Tayler Aughtman, 19, Chesnee, SC
SC Teen Allegedly Steals Bondage Gear A teen in Spartenburg, S.C, might be tied up in court after being accused of stealing bondage gear. A Spencer's Gift Store employee saw Tayler Aughtman, 19, of Chesnee “approach the bondage section and put something in her purse” on Tuesday, according to The Smoking Gun. The purloined item was a Fantasy Bed Stretcher, a $39,99 restraint device that turns any bed into a rack suitable for a dungeon. The employee detained Aughtman and called police. The report doesn't mention whether the employee used any of the restraint devices sold in the bondage section to keep the suspect from fleeing. According to the police report, Aughtman told police she'd also stolen $84 of panties from a nearby Victoria's Secret. Because she'd been a naughty, naughty girl, the officer took Aughtman to the lingerie store to return the stolen underwear. She was taken to the Spartanburg County Jail and booked on two counts of shoplifting for less than $2,000 and released early Wednesday morning, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Nancy Re: What is Ubuntu? Dear Webby, I have heard the name Ubuntu before, but never any explanation of what it is. Is that some African version of Windows? Nancy Dear Nancy Ubuntu is a popular flavor of Linux. Linux is a version of the UNIX server language but made for PC. Linux is about half way between UNIX and Windows. Unlike Windows, with Linux you have a choice of many "flavors". If you don't like one flavor, or if a friend recommends a different one, you can switch without any hassle. Some Linux users get right religious about their chosen version and can argue at great length why that version is better. Most, though, just pick a version and use it for getting their work done. Industry and commerce usually use Linux. Pretty well all the Point-Of-Sale machines in stores are on Linux or on XP. Ubuntu is ideal for home and small office use. On my servers, where there are at times over a thousand visitors (users) at the same time, I use CentOS. In between there are probably hundreds of different flavors of Linux. If you want to switch to Linux, first find a nearby penguin, as Linux users are usually referred to, and ask for recommendations. Also ask if she or he would be willing to coach you a bit. Many penguins are almost as eager to coach you as Jehova Witnesses are to teach you. Usually they will give you a CD or Thumb Drive or camera chip with the Linux Operating System on it. Those are called "Live CD". You can stick that into your machine, and boot up with it. Then you are running Linux. No need to get rid of Windows. That way you can try different flavors of Linux before you settle on any one of them. Once you have decided, then you can install it on your hard drive. Many people leave their machine as a Dual-Boot, where they can choose at boot-up whether they are going to run Linux or Windows. Once they are comfortable with Linux and have transferred all worthwhile files to the Linux partition, or with their next machine, then they make that a single boot Linux machine. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two cowboys were waiting in their fort for the Indians to attack. They listened to the distant pounding war drums. One cowboy muttered to the other, "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, a distant voice came over the hill, "It's not our usual drummer!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cat Litter to Deodorize Stinky Sneakers Pour some cat litter, scented or unscented, into a pair of heavy socks or sock slippers and close it with a rubber band. Drop the litter filled socks into the pair of shoes or sneakers. Litter was created to reduce and remove some heavy duty odors, so it's perfect for this! My daughter also had a new pair of shoes that were a little tight fitting, so we just stuffed the litter filled socks tightly into those shoes (I did spritz the inside of the shoe first, ever so slightly) and it did loosen them up to fit her better too! Just in time for school. By Donna [276] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ That reminds me... An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. "What are those drums?" asked the anthropologist, knowing he was in cannibal country. The guide turned to him and said "No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop." They both went ghostly pale when the drums suddenly stopped. The guide crouched in the belly of the canoe and covered his ears. "Do as I do! Very important!" hissed the guide with great urgency. "Why? What does this mean?" asked the panicked anthropologist. In a terrified whisper the native replied: "Drums stop! Next come violin solo!" ___________________________________________________

how to age gracefully (not just about females)
____________________________________________________ Grampa was telling his youngest grandson about his terrifying experience with cannibals. "There I was, lost in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by twenty hungry cannibals....." His grandson said, "But last time you told me, there were only ten hungry cannibals." And Grampa said, "Ah, but you were too young then, to know the whole horrible truth!" ____________________________________________________
This street artist is awesome!

Today, Sept 7, in
1812 Napoleon defeated the Russian army of Alexander I at 
 the battle of Borodino. 
1813 The nickname "Uncle Sam" was first used as a symbolic 
 reference to the United States. The reference appeared in 
 an editorial in the New York's Troy Post. 
1822 Brazil declared its independence from Portugal. 
1880 George Ligowsky was granted a patent for his device 
 that threw clay pigeons for trapshooters. 
1888 Edith Eleanor McLean became the first baby to be 
 placed in an incubator. 
1896 A.H. Whiting won the first automobile race held on a 
 racetrack. The race was held in Cranston, RI. 
1901 The Boxer Rebellion began in China ending the Peace 
 of Beijing. 
1915 Johnny Gruelle received a patent for his Raggedy Ann 
 doll. (U.S. Patent D47789) 
1927 Philo T. Farnsworth succeeded in transmitting an image 
 through purely electronic means by using an image dissector. 
1930 The cartoon "Blondie" made its first appearance in the 
 comic strips. 
1940 London received its initial rain of bombs from Nazi 
 Germany during World War II. 
1942 During World War II, the Russian army counter attacked 
 the German troops outside the city of Stalingrad. 
1971 "The Beverly Hillbillies" was seen for the final time 
 on CBS-TV. 
1977 The Panama Canal treaties were signed by U.S. President 
 Carter and General Omar Torrijos Herrera. The treaties 
 called for the U.S. to turn over control of the canal's 
 waterway to Panama in the year 2000. 
1983 In Ireland, voters approved a constitutional ammendment 
 that banned abortion. 
1986 President Augusto Pinochet survived an assassination 
 attempt made by guerrillas. 
1986 Desmond Tutu was the first black to be installed to 
 lead the Anglican Church in southern Africa. 
1987 Erich Honecker became the first East German head of 
 state to visit West Germany. 
1989 Legislation was approved by the U.S. Senate that 
 prohibited discrimination against the handicapped in 
 employment, public accommodations, transportation and 
 communications. 
1999 Viacom Inc. announced that it had plans to buy CBS Corp. 
2015  smiled.


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Ubuntu instead of Windows 10 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, September 6.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Brazillian robber, who picked on female cage fighter, who put him into a choke hold between her legs and tenderized his face until cops showed up 20 minutes later. Details at Boneheads Today, September 6, 1620 The Pilgrims left on the Mayflower from Plymouth, England to settle in the New World. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again. --- Mike Myers Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. --- Carl Sandburg ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sue gave her hubby a state-of-the-art metal detector. He excitedly took his new toy to the back yard to try it out. When he scattered some change on the ground, it seemed to work fine. Then, even when he wasn't near the coins, the thing kept going off. Over and over, he adjusted and re-adjusted with no luck. After watching him for a while, Sue said, "I think I know what's wrong." "I know what I'm doing!" he snapped back. After 20 minutes, he finally turned to her. "Okay, what's wrong?" Sue said, "You're standing over the buried oil tank." ______________________________________________________ In the good old days: Back in the 1970s we didn't have the satellites buzzing around within rifle range of the mountains to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy old moon. In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an axe, you just had to hope your axe was better than his. In my day you couldn't take basket weaving or acting instead of math. And that was before they invented calculators! If you couldn't calculate the trajectory of an intercontinental missile, well, then you just repeated Grade 6 until you could. In my day, we didn't have school buses. We had to hitch a ride on a dinosaur or walk to school fifteen Miles, and it was all uphill. Both ways! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Maureen for this picture: ______________________________________________________ When John returned to the house one evening, his wife Mary announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Yeah," said John very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "You're darn right it wasn't," Mary said. "They were the two best towels we had... the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel next door to the Motel 6 where we stayed in Hawaii." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wesley Sousa de Araujo, 18, Acailandia, Brazil
Robber picks on the wrong woman Looks like she also tenderized his face. Should be quite colorful by now.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: Ubuntu instead of Windows 10 Dear Webby, Ok, now I am not liking what I am reading about "Windows 10" and the spying crap! Ok, so now what do you think about "Ubuntu 15.04"? I may just get out of windows altogether! Eddie Dear Eddie Ubuntu and most other flavors of Linux are better than W8, 8.1 and 10. That is why all the store tills run Linux or XP. First step is to find a Linux user in your area, so that you have a local helping hand. Then select the same flavor of Linux she or he uses. The rest is easy. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Unfortunate typos: - Minonk church, in their church bulletin asked worshippers to sing the hymn "Friendly Breasts," instead of, we hope, "Friendly Beasts." - Police report from Normal, Minnesota reported: "Officer licked repeatedly by female subject." - And a list of Chatsworth churches in Minnesota ironically listed the "Chatsworth Untied Methodist Church." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com ang Over the Door Hooks Upside Down I love the over the door hooks you get at the dollar stores. But sometimes, they can be used in the laundry room for catching the clothes before they wrinkle. I realized when finding a second hook that if your door is thinner, you can get more hanger room by flipping them upside down. The square garners you more hanger space, and the curved part hugs the thinner doors better. One hook holds 4 hangers and the other holds 6. This door is to the hot water heater, but some have cupboards over the washer and dryer, too. Hope that helps. PBP By Sandi/Poor But Proud [446] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Recently, in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next!" ___________________________________________________

How to skin a watermelon
____________________________________________________ I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer. I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?" She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" ____________________________________________________
Strange looking mammatus clouds.

Today, Sept 6, in
1620 The Pilgrims left on the Mayflower from Plymouth, England 
 to settle in the New World. 
1819 Thomas Blanchard patented a machine called the lathe. It 
 had been around for centuries, but never patented.
1876 The Southern Pacific rail line from Los Angeles to 
 San Francisco was completed. 
1899 Carnation processed its first can of evaporated milk. 
1901 U.S. President William McKinley was shot and mortally 
 wounded (he died eight days later) by Leon Czolgosz. 
1909 Robert Peary, American explorer, sent word that he 
 had reached the North Pole. He had reached his goal five 
 months earlier. 
1939 South Africa declared war on Germany. 
1941 Jews in German-occupied areas were ordered to wear the 
 Star of David with the word "Jew" inscribed. The order only 
 applied to Jews over the age of 6. 
1944 During World War II, the British government relaxed 
 blackout restrictions and suspended compulsory training for 
 the Home Guard. 
1948 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands was crowned. 
1952 In Montreal, Canadian television began broadcasting. 
1972 Rick DeMont lost the gold medal he received in a 
 400-meter swimming event because a banned drug was found 
 in his system during routine drug testing. 
1990 Iraq warned that anyone trying to flee the country 
 without permission would be put in prison for life. 
1991 The name St. Petersburg was restored to Russia's second 
 largest city. The city was founded in 1703 by Peter the 
 Great. The name has been changed to Petrograd (1914) and 
 to Leningrad (1924). 
1992 A 35-year old man died ten weeks after receiving a 
 transplanted baboon liver. 
1995 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood was expelled by the Senate 
 Ethics Committee. 
2001 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was seeking 
 a lesser antitrust penalty and would not attempt to break 
 up Microsoft. 
2001 Ebay Inc. was found not liable for copyright infringement 
 because bootleg copies of a Charles Manson documentary had 
 been sold on the site. 
2015  smiled.


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Moving Eudora address books to new machine 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 5.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Man huffs canned air after crash as cop watches Details at Boneheads Today, September 4, 1774 The first session of the U.S. Continental Congress convened in Philadelphia. The delegates drafted a declaration of rights and grievances, organized the Continental Association, and elected Peyton Randolph as the first president of the Continental Congress. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true. --- Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. --- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr. (1900 - 1965) Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. --- Maurice Chevalier, singer ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building. A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of Expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!" Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce!" About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over, raises her skirt and trumpets a fart like the finale of an opera. Just before the elevator doors close behind her, she turns and whispers into the eyewatering fumes: "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound." ______________________________________________________ The young lady walked over to the room where she knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door. "We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?" "Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm his mother!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: My knock-out roses ______________________________________________________ A man driving in Southern Indiana, heading for Kentucky, saw a sign that read: "LAST CHANCE FOR $1.25 GAS!!!" He still had more than half of a tank left, but figured he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill up. As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "How much is gas in Kentucky?" The man replied, "$1.19." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Yates, 44, Topsham, Maine
Man huffs canned air after crash as cop watches Police say a Maine man crashed his SUV into a guardrail on an interstate and then inhaled canned air in front of the officer who pulled him over. Topsham Sgt. Robert Ramsay tells the Portland Press Herald (http://bit.ly/1JxG2kp) that 44-year-old John Yates was arrested Monday night on Interstate 295 in Topsham. Ramsay says police saw Yates pull into a breakdown lane, then pull out suddenly, almost hitting a tractor-trailer. Police say a slow pursuit ensued until Yates hit a guardrail and crashed into a ditch. Police say Yates then grabbed a canister of keyboard cleaner and began huffing it. Yates faces charges including driving under the influence of drugs. He was being held Wednesday on $1,000 bail. Most likely the canned air gambit was to mask some real dope, but apparently they did not test for that.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Move Eudora Dear Webby, Greeting to you and thanks for all of you help, and the good jokes. I have just set up Eudora on my Laptop. What is the best way to get my Eudora address book from my PC to the laptop? I hope there is a simple solution to do this? Thanks in advance. Jim Dear Jim Yes, very simple. Once you have set up Eudora, all you do is copy over the entire contents of the Eudora directory. All the mailboxes and everything. Attachment and Embedded folders, all the folders. The setup just sets up the directory structure and puts Eudora into the registry. I have done that with every machine migration since the early 90's. If you don't want the mailboxes and JUST the address books: Address Book Files nndbase.txt: Your nicknames are saved in the nndbase.txt file. Note that this file contains the nicknames only, while the files in the Nickname folder contain the full data for each Address Book entry which includes the nickname and more. nndbase.toc: This file is the table of contents for your nicknames. The same characteristics apply as with the TOC files for the mailboxes. Nickname folder: Address Book entries are saved in the Nickname folder, in the default Eudora Nicknames file. If you have created additional Address Book files, they are kept under their own name in the Nickname directory. Personally, I just drag the entire contents of the Eudora folder over to the new machine, and continue working. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea, It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rarely ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect in it's weigh My chequer tolled me sew. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com ang Over the Door Hooks Upside Down I love the over the door hooks you get at the dollar stores. But sometimes, they can be used in the laundry room for catching the clothes before they wrinkle. I realized when finding a second hook that if your door is thinner, you can get more hanger room by flipping them upside down. The square garners you more hanger space, and the curved part hugs the thinner doors better. One hook holds 4 hangers and the other holds 6. This door is to the hot water heater, but some have cupboards over the washer and dryer, too. Hope that helps. PBP By Sandi/Poor But Proud [446] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and keep away from the children. ___________________________________________________

Creating world's most complicated watch
____________________________________________________ "Dog's emails to God": Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle cross the street! Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? ____________________________________________________
Brothers Grimms Wanderings. Beautiful photos inspired by the Brothers Grimm fairy tales.

Today, Sept 5, in
1698 Russia's Peter the Great imposed a tax on beards. 
1774 The first session of the U.S. Continental Congress 
 convened in Philadelphia. The delegates drafted a declaration 
 of rights and grievances, organized the Continental Association, 
 and elected Peyton Randolph as the first president of the 
 Continental Congress. 
1793 In France, the "Reign of Terror" began. The National 
 Convention enacted measures to repress the French Revolutionary 
 activities. 
1836 Sam Houston was elected as the first president of the 
 Republic of Texas. 
1877 Sioux chief Crazy Horse was killed by the bayonet of a 
 U.S. soldier. The chief allegedly resisted confinement to a 
 jail cell. 
1881 The American Red Cross provided relief for disaster for 
 the first time. The disaster was the Great Fire of 1881 in Michigan. 
1882 The first U.S. Labor Day parade was held in New York City. 
1885 Jake Gumper bought the first gasoline pump to be manufactured 
 in the U.S. 
1900 France proclaimed a protectorate over Chad. 
1905 The Treaty of Portsmouth was signed by Russia and Japan to end 
 the Russo-Japanese War. The settlement was mediated by U.S. President 
 Theodore Roosevelt in New Hampshire. 
1914 The Battle of the Marne began. The Germans, British and French 
 fought for six days killing half a million people. 
1917 Federal raids were carried out in 24 cities on International 
 Workers of the World (IWW) headquarters. The raids were prompted by 
 suspected anti-war activities within the labor organization. 
1930 Charles Creighton and James Hagris completed the drive from 
 New York City to Los Angeles and back to New York City all in 
 reverse gear. The trip took 42 days in their 1929 Ford Model A. 
1939 The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality in World War II. 
1945 Iva Toguri D'Aquino was arrested. D'Aquino was suspected of 
 being the wartime radio propagandist "Tokyo Rose". She served 
 six years and was later pardoned by U.S. President Ford. 
1953 The first privately operated atomic reactor opened in 
 Raleigh, NC. 
1958 Boris Pasternak's "Doctor Zhivago" was published for the 
 first time in the U.S. 
1960 Cassius Clay of Louisville, KY, won the gold medal in light 
 heavyweight boxing at the Olympic Games in Rome, Italy. Clay 
 later changed his name to Muhammad Ali. 
1961 The U.S. government made airline hijacking a federal offense. 
1977 The U.S. launched Voyager . 
1980 The St. Gothard Tunnel opened in Switzerland. It is the world's 
 longest highway tunnel at 10.14 miles long. 
1982 Eddie Hill set a propeller-driven boat water speed record 
 when he reached 229 mph. 
1983 U.S. President Reagan denounced the Soviet Union for shooting 
 down a Korean Air Lines. Reagan demanded that the Soviet Union 
 pay reparations for the act that killed 269 people. 
1983 "Sports Illustrated" became the first national weekly magazine 
 to use four-color process illustrations on every page. 
1984 The space shuttle Discovery landed after its maiden voyage. 
1984 Mortimer Zuckerman purchased the newsmagazine, "U.S. News & 
 World Report" for $163 million. 
1985 Rioting in South Africa spilled into white neighborhoods 
 for the first time. 
1986 NASA launched DOD-1. 
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein urged for a Holy War against 
 the West and former allies. 
1991 Soviet lawmakers created an interim government to usher 
 in the confederation after dissolving the U.S.S.R. The new 
 name the Union of Sovereign States was taken. 
1992 A General Motors Corporation strike ended with a new 
 agreement being approved. Nearly 43,000 workers were on strike. 
1995 France set off an underground nuclear blast in the 
 South Pacific. 
2003 In London, magician David Blaine entered a clear plastic 
 box and then was suspended by a crane over the banks of the 
Thames River. He remained there until October 19 surviving 
 only on water. 
2015  smiled.


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Where can you get Eudora? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, September 4.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Houston teen, who killed himself while taking a selfie with a gun. Details at Boneheads Today, September 4, 1882 Thomas Edison's Pearl Street electric power station began operations in New York City. It was the first display of a practical electrical lighting system. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so. --- John Stuart Mill (1806 - 1873) The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to make a sailor blush. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Max dies and leaves Sadie with a total of $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend says, "How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left just after Max died. How could you be broke?" The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me $5,000. And of course, I made a donation to the temple, so that was another $5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone." The friend says, "$10,000 for the memorial stone? OyVayismere! How big is it?" "Three carats." ______________________________________________________ Gina was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where her husband was stationed in the military. As she checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked her some standard security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack yourself?" he asked. Gina told him that her mother-in-law had given her a parcel to take to her son. He looked at Gina very carefully and very slowly and deliberately asked: "Does she like you?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture by her son Mikel: from Hillsboro Beach this morning ______________________________________________________ TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity. Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, some wonder what the heck happened. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Walter, The Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Deleon Alonso Smith, 19, Houston, Texas
Houston teen kills himself while taking a selfie with a gun. A 19-year-old Houston man, a day before starting community college, accidentally killed himself Tuesday while taking selfies with a gun, police said. The gun blast hit Deleon Alonso Smith in the throat, CNN affiliate KPRC reported. Family members were shocked. Investigator's told KPRC that Smith's cousin was in another room at the time the gun went off. The cousin told police they found the gun earlier in the day.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Samar Re: Where do you get Eudora? Dear Webby, You and a few other tech people have recommended Eudora, and since you have used it since '93, I figure it must be very stable, unlike the ones I have tried. The big question is where do I get it? Eudora.com seems to have been hijacked by Thunderbird. Thanks Samar Dear Samar Thunderbird is based on the code of Eudora. Deep down inside, the core is still Eudora. You just have to install some of the features as add-ons to make it as full-featured as the oldfashioned Eudora. If you want the much faster traditional Eudora, you can get that at Traditional Eudora You can get the Eudora manual there too. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Boudreaux left the bayou and moved to Arkansas and bought a donkey for $100 from an old farmer. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "I'm sorry, but I have some bad news... the donkey died last night." "Sacri-Bleu" said Boudreaux, "den gimme my money back." "I can't do that Sir, I went and spent it already." "OK, den. Jus' unload dat donkey." "What are you gonna do with him?" "Hi ham gon-to raffle him off." "You can't raffle a dead donkey, you dumb Cajun!" "Well dats where you wrong.! You wait you an' you learn how smart we Cajuns are!" A month later the farmer ran into the Cajun and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" "Hi raffled dat donkey off. Hi sold 1000 tickets at two dollar apiece and made too towsend buck. Dat was enough for a old JonDeere with a bucket, an hi use dat to bury your dead donkey." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Jus dat guy who won. So Hi give him his two dollar back. You got any more donkey?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning an Old Easel Board I check out some of the other email postings. I recently received an easel board from another family member - they had a lot of writing with grease markers on it, and they don't know how long it was on there. So we, my other half and I, tried rubbing alcohol, then nail polish remover, and then hand sanitizer gel. None of them worked. Then we tried Permatex Fast Orange - hand cleaner. This works great with a little extra scrubbing. By wifee [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Teacher: Well, there's one good thing I can say about your son. Father: What's that? Teacher: With grades like these, he definitely couldn't be cheating. ___________________________________________________

cheap flights
____________________________________________________ >From Sue After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, "'Do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'' ''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, they're all mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?'' ''Sir,'' she calmly answered, ''if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now.'' ____________________________________________________
What strength, agility and trust it took for a performance like this! I held my breath through most of it!

Today, Sept 4, in
0476 Romulus Augustulus, the last emperor of the western 
 Roman Empire, was deposed when Odoacer proclaimed himself 
 King of Italy. 
1609 English navigator Henry Hudson began exploring the 
 island of Manhattan. 
1781 Los Angeles, CA, was founded by Spanish settlers. 
 The original name was "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora La Reina 
 de Los Angeles de Porciuncula," which translates as 
 "The Town of the Queen of Angels." 
1825 New York Governor Clinton ceremoniously emptied a barrel 
 of Lake Erie water in the Atlantic Ocean to consummate the 
 "Marriage of the Waters" of the Great Lakes and the Atlantic. 
1882 Thomas Edison's Pearl Street electric power station 
 began operations in New York City. It was the first display 
 of a practical electrical lighting system. 
1885 The Exchange Buffet opened in New York City. It was the 
 first self-service cafeteria in the U.S. 
1886 Geronimo, and the Apache Indians he led, surrendered 
 in Skeleton Canyon in Arizona to Gen. Nelson Miles. 
1888 George Eastman registered the name "Kodak" and patented 
 his roll-film camera. The camera took 100 exposures per roll. 
1894 A strike in New York City by 12,000 tailors took place 
 to protest sweatshops. 
1899 An 8.3 earthquake hit Yakutat Bar, AK. 
1917 The American expeditionary force in France suffered its 
 first fatalities in World War I. 
1921 The first police broadcast was made by radio station 
 WIL in St. Louis, MO. 
1923 The first American dirigible, the "Shenandoah," began 
 its maiden voyage in Lakehurst, NJ. 
1944 During World War II, British troops entered the city of 
 Antwerp, Belgium. 
1948 The Dutch Queen Wilhelmina left her throne for health 
 reasons. 
1957 The Arkansas National Guard was ordered by Governor 
 Orval Faubus to keep nine black students from going into 
 Little Rock's Central High School. 
1957 The Ford Motor Company began selling the Edsel. The 
 car was so unpopular that it was taken off the market after
 only two years. 
1967 "Gilligan's Island" aired for the last time on CBS-TV. 
 It ran for 98 shows. 
1967 Michigan Gov. George Romney said during a TV interview 
 that he had undergone "brainwashing" by U.S. officials while 
 visiting Vietnam in 1965. 
1972 Swimmer Mark Spitz captured his seventh Olympic gold medal 
 in the 400-meter medley relay event at Munich, Germany. 
 Spitz was the first Olympian to win seven gold medals. 
1981 The Soviet Union began war games with about 100,000 troops 
 on the Polish border. 
1983 U.S. officials announced that there had been an American 
 plane, used for reconnaissance, in the vicinity of the Korean 
 Air Lines flight that was shot down. 
1986 South African security forces halted a mass funeral for the 
 victims of the riot in Soweto. 
1989 A reconnaissance satellite was released by the Air Force's 
 Titan Three rocket. The Titan Three set over 200 satellites 
 into space between 1964 and 1989. 
1995 The Fourth World Conference on Women was opened in Beijing. 
 There were over 4,750 delegates from 181 countries in attendance. 
1998 In Mexico, bankers stopped approving personal loans and mortgages. 
1998 The International Monetary Fund approved a $257 million loan 
 for the Ukraine. 
1998 Google was incorporated as a privately held company. 
1998 While in Ireland, U.S. President Clinton said the words 
 "I'm sorry" for the first time about his affair with Monica 
 Lewinsky and described his behavior as indefensible. 
1999 The United Nations announced that the residents of East 
 Timor had overwhelmingly voted for independence from Indonesia 
 in a referendum held on August 30. In Dili, pro-Indonesian 
 militias attacked independence supporters, burned buildings, 
 blew up bridges and destroyed telecommunication facilities. 
2003 Keegan Reilly, 22, became the first parapalegic climber 
 to reach the peak of Japan's Mount Fuji. 
2015  smiled.


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Eudora stalls 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 3

Dad told me on Skype today that the migrant problem in 
Austria is getting worse. He lives in the westernmost 
province, where they allocate 2 homes to migrants per
1000 people of population. In the East apparently they
are whining about being expected to provide 1.5/1000.

On their eastern border, where traffic is coming in from 
Hungaria, they are now stopping all trucks and checking 
them. Today they stopped one, that was welded shut. 
The Romanian drivers of course were instantly arrested 
when the welds were spotted, and will face very dire 
consequences. 

When they got a mechanic to grind open the welds, they 
found over twenty half dead Pakistanis in the truck. 

In Budapest, Hungaria, there are apparently about 4000
migrants waiting for a seat on a train through Austria 
to Germany. With no washrooms or toilets for the 4000
people, it is getting rather smelly there. Hungaria
allows only people with passports or some reasonably
legit ID to board the trains. Apparently that is the law.
No border crossing for NON-EU people without ID,
and each country is obligated to protect the next one 
from terrorists and NON-EU migrants without ID.

Once the migrants get to Austria, they get fed and have
washroom facilities before re-boarding the trains to 
continue on to Germany. That slow-down gives Germany a 
chance to haul the migrants away from Munich and to 
different towns.

The goals of most of the migrants apparently are to get
a residency permit in Germany, and with that hop a  train
to England, where they are told Welfare is the most generous. 

Surprisingly, most of the "economic refugees" have large 
amounts of money with them, but are very reluctant to show 
any ID.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman busted for DUI, carrying dope, and trying to bribe 3 cops with sex offers. Details at Boneheads Today, September 3, in 1967 Swedish motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road and began driving on the right side. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. --- Edith Sitwell (1887 - 1964) Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. --- Lily Tomlin (1939 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Today, September 3, in 1967 Swedish motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road and began driving on the right side. The same as every year, some British TV station interviewed Ole in Minnesota for advice on how to handle the eventual switch. Ole advised them to do it gradually. During the first week they should switch the trucks to drive on the right side, the second week they should switch buses, third week SUVs and in the fourth week they should switch the cars and bikes. They thought that was a pretty good idea and perfectly suited to the British way of driving. Ole had to end the interview rather suddenly. Something about needing a hernia transplant. ______________________________________________________ The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: A Hermit crab walking across Mikels patio. In Hillsboro Beach FL. ______________________________________________________ While shopping for vacation clothes, a husband and wife passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since she had even considered buying a bathing suit, so she sought her husband's advice. "What do you think?" she asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." _________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arielle Engert, 24, Clearwater, Florida
Florida woman busted for DUI, carrying dope, and trying to bribe 3 cops with sex offers. In a bid to dodge DUI and drug charges, a 24-year-old Floridian allegedly offered to perform sex acts upon three separate cops, solicitations that were rejected and resulted in bribery charges being filed against the woman. According to cops, Arielle Engert was pulled over at 2:48 AM yesterday when her car was spotted weaving on a Clearwater street. Engert was subsequently arrested after failing a series of field sobriety tests and registering a blood alcohol content at twice the legal limit. Engert, seen above, was also charged with marijuana possession after a small amount of pot was found in her purse. After being transported to the county jail, Engert allegedly told Deputy Brian Sudbrink that she would perform fellatio and “other sex acts” if he would not charge her for the two misdemeanors. As Engert was being processed into jail, a small bag of cocaine was located inside her bra. As a result, she was charged with narcotics possession and introduction of contraband into a detention facility, both felonies. The discovery of the cocaine allegedly prompted Engert to offer deputies Obed Munoz and Eric Biddle the identical sexual services that were proffered to Sudbrink. The illicit offers to the law enforcement personnel led to the filing of three separate bribery counts against Engert. Engert, whose rap sheet includes prior collars for drunk driving and possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, was freed from custody early today after posting $5150 bond. According to Engert’s Facebook page, she is studying philosophy at the University of Florida.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Eudora stalls Dear Webby, Now I have a problem that started today. When I attempt to retrieve mail in Eudora, I get to the point where the "envelope" appears in the lower right corner of the screen. Then the program hangs. It won't respond to anything, even pressing the red shut down button. My only recourse is to close Eudora using "Task Manager" or rebooting the computer. I have done nothing today that could cause a problem. Thanks again for your help, you always come through for me. All the best. Bill Dear Bill Clean out your Eudora Trash, trim down the INbox and the OUTbox to the bare minimum. Do a bit of house-cleaning in there. Check which of your filters are as obsolete as previous mistresses, and dump them. The problem is that you IN, OUT and TRASH are using more memory than you got free. Running CrapCleaner might help, but is not really a solution. The solution is to weed out the three prime mailboxes. Have FUN! DearWebby So far so good. I followed your instructions and Eudora is behaving like the young lady that I have become used to. Thanks once again for your help. Bill _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver. She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street,but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. "Driver!" the passenger screamed,"Are you trying to get us both killed?" "Relax,lady," he said, "just do what I do. Close your eyes." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Beach Bag as a Shopping Bag This week, at a garage sale, I paid $1 for a large, sturdy beach bag, which I took home, laundered, and dried, in the sun. Now, it holds all my other re-usable shopping bags, and it, itself, is the largest, sturdiest shopping bag of all. Next time I'm at my local thrift store, I'll look for more bags that can be used as shopping carry-alls. By VBartlett [14] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, and skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she whispered. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $49.95." ___________________________________________________

power of concentration
____________________________________________________ A new convert to Catholicism decided to go to confession to deal with his transgression. In the confessional, he told the priest that he had sinned. "What was your sin, my son?" asked the priest. "I stole some lumber, Father," replied the man. "How much lumber did you steal?" asked the priest. "Father, I built my German Shepherd dog a nice new doghouse." The priest replied, "Well, that's not so bad." The man continued, "Father, I also built myself a 4- car garage." "Well, now, that's a little more serious." "Father, there's more. In addition to the doghouse, the 4-car garage, I also built a 5 bedroom, 4 bath house!" With a pause, the priest finally spoke. "That is a little more serious. I'm afraid you'll have to make a novena." "Father, I'm not sure what a novena is, but if you've got the blueprints, I've got the lumber!" --------- (Novena is a huge set of 9 sequences of prayers) ____________________________________________________
Jane Long colorizes old black and white photos and adds a surreal twist to them. You can see the full photos by clicking on them and use the arrows to view as a slide show.

Today, Sept 2, in
1189 England's King Richard I was crowned in Westminster. 
1783 The Revolutionary War between the U.S. and Great Britain 
 ended with the Treaty of Paris. 
1833 The first successful penny newspaper in the U.S., "The New York Sun,"
 was launched by Benjamin H. Day. 
1935 Sir Malcolm Campbell became the first person to drive an automobile 
 over 300 miles an hour. He reached 304.331 MPH on the Bonneville Salt 
 Flats in Utah. 
1939 British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, in a radio broadcast, 
 announced that Britain and France had declared war on Germany. Germany 
 had walked into Poland on September 1. 
1943 Italy was invaded by the Allied forces during World War II. 
1954 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the final time after 
 2,956 episodes over a period of 21 years. 
1966 The television series "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" ended 
 after 14 years. 
1967 Nguyen Van Thieu was elected president of South Vietnam under a 
 new constitution. 
1967 In Sweden, motorists stopped driving on the left side of the road 
 and began driving on the right side. 
1976 The U.S. spacecraft Viking 2 landed on Mars. The unmanned spacecraft 
 took the first close-up, color photos of the planet's surface. 
1981 David Brinkley left NBC News after 38 years to join with ABC. 
1981 Egypt arrested more than 1,500 opponents of the government. 
1986 Peat Marwick International and Klynveld Main Goerdeler of the 
 Netherlands agreed to merge and form the world’s largest accounting firm. 
1989 The U.S. began shipping military aircraft and weapons, worth 
 $65 million, to Columbia in its fight against drug lords. 
1994 Russia and China announced that they would no longer be targeting 
 nuclear missiles or using force against each other. 
1999 Mario Lemieux's ownership group officially took over the National 
 Hockey League's Pittsburgh Penguins. Lemieux became the first player 
 in the modern era of sports to buy the team he had once played for. 
2013 Hunters in Mississippi caught a 727-pound alligator. 
2015  smiled.


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Extra Keys 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 2


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who broke into school so he can call grandma. Details at Boneheads Today in 31 B.C. The Roman leader Octavian defeated the alliance of Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Octavian, as Augustus Caesar, became the first Roman emperor. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. --- Thomas Szasz Go, and never darken my towels again. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" he says. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it," she replies. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explains. She looks satisfied and apologizes. Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan knocking him out cold. When he comes to, he says, "What the heck was that for?" "Your horse phoned." ______________________________________________________ Once I was sick and I had to go to an ear, nose, and throat doctor to get well. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors, gynecologists, proctologists, any place you got a hole, there's a guy who specializes in your hole. They make an entire career out of that hole. And if the ear doctor, nose doctor, throat doctor, gynecologist, or proctologist can't help you, he sends you to a surgeon. Why?... So he can make a new hole! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janice for this picture: The dragonfly was perched in my friend's yard. It was on a green plant support stake. Myrtle Beach, SC ______________________________________________________ Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Pete says to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it." The salesman says, "You just make a small down payment... then you don't make another payment for six months." Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and demands: "Who told you about us?" _________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aaron D. Richardson, 19, St. Lucie County Jail, Florida
Florida man broke into school so he can call grandma A Florida man broke into a high school in hopes of finding a phone to call his grandma, according to police in Port St. Lucie. Aaron D. Richardson, 19, was charged Monday night after officials at Treasure Coast High School reported that he had broken into a concession stand and busted a computer, WPTV reports. Officers noticed a damaged fence near the school perimeter as well as the computer, which looked as it had been smashed with a fist or foot. School surveillance videos also showed him climbing the fence and driving a school-owned golf cart around campus, according to WPBF.com. School officials identified the intruder as Richardson, a former student at the school. The suspect was easy to find: He was already at the Port St. Lucie Jail serving time on an unrelated arrest the same night, according to CBS12.com. Police said Richardson told them he entered the school searching for a phone to call his grandmother. When that didn't work, he said he tried to contact her via Facebook on the concession stand computer. That failed, too, so he punched the computer in anger, according to WPTV. Richardson has been charged with trespassing on school property, criminal mischief for damaging the fence, which was valued at approximately $1,254, petit theft for stealing $6 worth of snacks from the concession stand and burglary of the school. Richardson remains in the St. Lucie County Jail on $21,875 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Edith Re: Copyright and other signs Dear Webby, Once upon a time, when I was young and still jail bait, you mentioned a program for generating the Copyright and 1/4 degree symbol, and others like that. Is that still available? Thanks Edith Dear Edith Yes, sure: http://webby.com/char Just drag the tiny icon at the left of the address bar onto your desktop, and you will have an instant link to that page. If you want a program, that installs on your computer and will supply the extra keys without having to type in numbers on the numeric keypad, you can get EXTRA-KEYS at ExtraKeys Hit MORE in the bottom right corner for more symbols. If you have a narrow laptop without a numeric keypad, that program will be your only practical solution, other than highlighting and copying a symbol on my http://webby.com/char page. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Mary was married to Charlie, a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. "That," he declared, "is woman's work!" One evening, Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charlie had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. Mary said, "Charlie even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charlie was too tired." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bar Keepers Friend Soft Cleanser for Stoves I love all of the tips posted here, but my solution to this and other kitchen challenges is now Bar Keepers Friend Soft Cleanser. It is a liquid version of the scouring powder made by Bar Keepers. This cream cleans better than the expensive stove top cleaners and does dual duty for stainless steel, other kitchen metals (pots and pans), and hard surfaces. A small sponge, a little bit of this high tech cleanser, a tiny bit of elbow grease, a mini rinse with a moist rag, then a dry buff with a clean kitchen towel makes every surface look like new! By Lisa P. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks, was shock proof to 60 G, could be driven over and even dropped from a plane. Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard." ___________________________________________________

how rednecks warsh their kids
____________________________________________________ Arnie came into school looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. "Our chickens have been disappearing." He said. "And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o'clock, Pa got me and Ol' Blue, our dog, and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on." He went on. "Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol' Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn't expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we've been up a-cleanin' and a-pluckin' more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school." ____________________________________________________
Everyone was born for a reason, a purpose, this good man has found his purpose. It's amazing what a difference one person can make in this old world.

Today, Sept 2, in
31 B.C. The Roman leader Octavian defeated the alliance of 
 Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Octavian, as Augustus Caesar, 
 became the first Roman emperor. 
1666 The Great Fire of London broke out. The fire burned for 
 three days destroying 10,000 buildings including St. Paul's 
 Cathedral. Only 6 people were killed. 
1775 Hannah, the first American war vessel was commissioned 
 by General George Washington. 
1864 During the U.S. Civil War Union forces led by Gen. 
 William T. Sherman occupied Atlanta following the retreat 
 of the Confederates. 
1901 Theodore Roosevelt, then Vice President, said 
 "Speak softly and carry a big stick" in a speech at the 
 Minnesota State Fair. 
1930 The "Question Mark" made the first non-stop flight from 
 Europe to the U.S. The plane was flown by Captain Dieudonne 
 Coste and Maurice Bellonte. 
1938 The first railroad car to be equipped with fluorescent 
 lighting was put into operation on the New York Central railroad. 
1945 Japan surrendered to the U.S. aboard the USS Missouri, ending 
 World War II. The war ended six years and one day after it began. 
1945 Ho Chi Minh declared the independence the Democratic Republic 
 of Vietnam. 
1961 The U.S.S.R. resumed nuclear weapons testing.
1969 NBC-TV canceled "Star Trek." The show had debuted on 9/8/66. 
1985 It was announced that the Titanic had been found on September 
 1 by a U.S. and French expedition 560 miles off Newfoundland. 
 The luxury liner had been missing for 73 years. 
1991 The U.S. formally recognized the independence of Lithuania, 
 Lativa and Estonia. 
1992 The U.S. and Russia agreed to a joint venture to build a 
 space station. 
1996 Muslim rebels and the Philippine government signed a pact 
 formally ending 26-years of insurgency that had killed more 
 than 120,000 people. 
2015  smiled.


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Copyright and other symbols 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, September 1


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Woman Guilty Of Robbing 3 Banks In Half Hour For Daughter's Party Details at Boneheads Today in 1905 Saskatchewan and Alberta became the ninth and tenth provinces of Canada. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. --- Robertson Davies I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. --- Bruce Lee ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry- cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are fifteen dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it five more times and we can pay the phone bill!" ______________________________________________________ An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days." The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture by her son mikel: Erika in Florida ______________________________________________________ An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. The man said, "Well, my wife ain't home. She's gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got." The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn't interested. Then the man spotted a mirror and said, "What's that?" Before the peddler could tell him it was a mirror, the old man picked it up and said, "My God, how'd you get a picture of my Pappy?" The old man was so happy, he traded his wife's best pitcher for it. The peddler left before the wife came back and spoiled his sale. The old man was worried that his wife would be mad at him for trading her best pitcher, so he hid the mirror in the barn behind some boxes of junk. He would go out to the barn 2 or 3 times a day to look at the "picture" and eventually the wife got suspicious. One day she got fed up and after he retired for the night, she went out to the barn. She saw the mirror behind the boxes, picked it up and said, "So, this is the hussy he's been foolin' around with!" _________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cindy Sanchez Carabeo, 50, Brandon, Florida
Woman Guilty Of Robbing 3 Banks In Half Hour For Daughter's Party An accused thief told a court she held up three banks in May to raise money for her daughter's graduation party. Cindy Sanchez Carabeo, 50, of Brandon, Florida, pleaded guity in federal court on Thursday to one count of interfering with interstate commerce by robbery, according to the Tampa Bay Times. Carabeo told a judge she robbed the banks to pay for a graduation party for her daughter and to cover her rent. She faces up to 20 years in prison. Police arrested Carabeo in May after she stole $6,000 from a BB&T Bank, a Wells Fargo and Florida Central Credit Union in Brandon in less than the time it takes to deliver a pizza. However, investigators nabbed her even faster, according to Larry McKinnon of the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office. "By the time she made it home after that third robbery, within 15 minutes we had her in custody and all three bank managers were able to positively identify her," McKinnon told WPTV. Authorities said McKinnon threatened to kill one teller but wrote "Happy Mother's Day" on the hold-up note, according to Sun-Sentinal.com.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Edith Re: Copyright and other signs Dear Webby, Once upon a time, when I was young and still jail bait, you mentioned a program for generating the Copyright and 1/4 degree symbol, and others like that. Is that still available? Thanks Edith Dear Edith Yes, sure: http://webby.com/char Just drag the tiny icon at the left of the address bar onto your desktop, and you will have an instant link to that page. If you want a program, that installs on your computer and will supply the extra keys without having to type in numbers on the numeric keypad, you can get EXTRA-KEYS at ExtraKeys Hit MORE in the bottom right corner for more symbols. If you have a narrow laptop without a numeric keypad, that program will be your only practical solution, other than highlighting and copying a symbol on my http://webby.com/char page. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A fifth grader looked down, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem, ? I hope it's not homework again." "Well, uh, yes it is," replied . "I made my homework paper into a paper airplane." ", that wasn't a very bright thing to do," said the teacher, "but this once, I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in." "Oh, but that won't work," said , looking even sadder. "You see, Johnny hijacked the plane, and handed it in as HIS homework!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Leftover Hamburger Pasta Soup All you need to do to use some leftovers and make a different meal. Add a quart size carton of chicken broth to last night's leftovers and make a fabulous soup. Last night we had a hamburger, tomato & pasta dish, but you can use any casserole dish. Top it with shredded cheese and bread on the side and you have another great meal. Can't be any easier than this! By Jackie H. [114] Instead of an expensive carton of broth you can just heat a pot of wter, stir in a heaping tsp Minestrone Soup mix, stir, and pour the Minestrone soup over the leftovers. Simmer for a bit and it's done. Same results, at 1/20th the cost. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two campers are walking through the forest when they suddenly encounter a grizzly bear! The bear rears up on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar. They're both frozen in their tracks. The first camper whispers, "I'm sure glad I wore my running shoes today." "It doesn't matter what kind of shoes you're wearing, you're not gonna outrun that bear," replies the second. "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU," he answers, as he takes off. ___________________________________________________

what rough and tumbling fun chasing cheese!
____________________________________________________ >From Ida Two sure ways to spot a REALLY sexy man (or woman) The first is, he (or she) has a bad memory. ...... I forgot the second. ____________________________________________________
No wonder I go through 10 lbs. of sugar a week feeding hummingbirds! It takes a lot of energy for mamas to feed their brood even if only one!

Today, Sept 1, in
1799 The Bank of Manhattan Company opened in New York City, NY. 
1810 The first plow with interchangeable parts was 
 patented by John J. Wood. 
1859 The Pullman sleeping car was placed into service. 
1878 Emma M. Nutt became the first female telephone operator 
 in the U.S. The company was the Telephone Dispatch Company 
 of Boston. 
1887 Emile Berliner filed for a patent for his invention of 
 the lateral-cut, flat-disk gramophone. It is a device that 
 is better known as a record player. Thomas Edison made the 
 idea work. 
1897 The first section of Boston's subway system was opened. 
1905 Saskatchewan and Alberta became the ninth and tenth 
 provinces of Canada. 
1939 World War II began when Germany invaded Poland. 
1942 A federal judge in Sacramento, CA, upheld the wartime 
 detention of Japanese-Americans as well as Japanese nationals. 
1951 The ANZUS Treaty, a mutual defense pact, was signed by 
 the U.S., Australia and New Zealand. 
1969 Col. Moammar Gadhafi came into power in Libya after the 
 government was overthrown. 
1972 America’s Bobby Fischer beat Russia’s Boris Spassky to 
 become world chess champion. The chess match took place in 
 Reykjavik, Iceland. 
1979 The U.S. Pioneer 11 became the first spacecraft to visit 
 Saturn. 
1982 Mexican President Jose Lopez Portillo closed all the 
 country's private banks. 
1985 The Titanic was found by Dr. Robert Ballard and Jean 
 Louis Michel in a joint U.S. and French expedition. The wreck 
 site is located 963 miles northeast of New York and 453 miles 
 southeast of the Newfoundland coast. 
1997 In France, the prosecutor's office announced that the 
 driver of the car, in which Britain's Princess Diana was killed, 
 was over the legal alcohol limit. 
1998 The movie "Titanic" went on sale across North America. 
1998 Vietnam released 5,000 prisoners, including political 
 dissidents, on National Day. 
2015  smiled.


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Can't open received pictures 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, August 31

Thanks Joseph!


The fires in Washington seem to have gone past the poplar
and other leafy forests and are back in spruce and pine.
The smoke smell is much nicer, more like camp fire smoke.
It's also not as thick. Visibility has improved to five 
miles, sometimes even more. 

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia man busted after his dog tests positive for meth. Details at Boneheads Today in 1920 John Lloyd Wright was issued a patent for "Toy-Cabin Construction," which are known as Lincoln Logs. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember. --- Eugene McCarthy (1916 - 2005) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A boss in California, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let at least one of you go and I need a usable solution immediately." Female Employee: "I'm a woman." Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority." Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin." ...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay." So, without discriminating against any politically protected group, he fired all four of them for "failure to perform assigned duties, like coming up with a usable solution". ______________________________________________________ A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? You must do it at night." "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cynthia for this picture: ______________________________________________________ It was little Harry's first visit to the country, and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Late one evening he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard, feathers spread beautifully in all its glory. Rushing indoors excitedly, Harry called out for his grandma: "Gramma, Gramma, come see! Come see!" he exclaimed. "One of your chickens is in bloom!" _________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Marty Allen Rogers, 47, Talmo, Georgia
Man Busted After His Dog Tests Positive For Meth A Georgia man is facing several criminal charges after his dog tested positive for methamphetamine, police report. According to cops, Marty Allen Rogers, 47, last week brought his terrier mix to an animal hospital for treatment. The dog, named “Little Guy,” was “extremely nervous and constantly paces and panting and restless,” veterinarian Kevin Chapman told investigators. Chapman told police that “Little Guy” subsequently “tested positive for Methamphetamine.” Investigators believe that the dog--which was turned over to an animal control officer-- ingested the drug at Rogers’s residence in Talmo, a town about 30 miles from Athens. Rogers, pictured above, was initially charged with cruelty to animals. But when cops went to his home to serve an arrest warrant, they discovered meth and a stolen motorcycle at the residence. As a result, he was hit with narcotics possession and theft by receiving stolen property counts. “Little Guy,” who has recovered from the meth exposure, is in an animal shelter and will soon be placed up for adoption. Rogers, who is not in jail, was arrested last year after he was pulled over for reckless driving. A search of the vehicle turned up meth and a handgun. Rogers was charged with possession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute, possession of a firearm during a crime, and reckless driving.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Verna Re: Can't open received pictures Dear Webby, I can open pictures sent to me by some people, but never from some others. I CAN open them by using the thumbnail browser in my graphics program, just not by clicking on them in the email. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to that. Can you please help? Verna Dear Verna Most likely the pictures, that you can't open by clicking on them, have a space in the file name. Many graphics programs refuse to open those. Just rename the pictures from the file explorer, so that they don't have holes in the file name. You could also tell the people, who name pictures with holes in the file name, to smarten up and name them properly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Measuring Cups Sensibly I have a set of black, heavy plastic measuring cups. I'd like another set, but there's no name on them and I can't remember where I got them. I guess the next best thing is a set of red, heavy plastic measuring cups. My sister gave me a set. They're Betty Crocker and sold at Dollar tree for a dollar. Most anyone can have all the measuring cups they'd ever need. By likekinds [103] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Eric said his company sometimes abbreviates the shipping address of their customers to make them fit on the printed labels. However, the Assembly Of God Church aparently was not amused when the label on their box displayed, "Ass Of God Church". ___________________________________________________

Mark Kroos Plays Dueling Banjos From Deliverance by Himself
____________________________________________________ A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats aroond here?" ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, Aug 31, in
1823 Ferdinand VII was restored to the throne of Spain when 
 invited French forces entered Cadiz. The event is known as 
 the Battle of Trocadero. 
1852 The first pre-stamped envelopes were created with 
 legislation of the U.S. Congress. 
1887 The kinetoscope was patented by Thomas Edison. The 
 device was used to produce moving pictures. 
1920 The first news program to be broadcast on radio was 
 aired. The station was 8MK in Detroit, MI. 
1920 John Lloyd Wright was issued a patent for 
 "Toy-Cabin Construction," which are known as Lincoln Logs.
1935 The act of exporting U.S. arms to belligerents was 
 prohibited by an act signed by U.S. President Roosevelt. 
1962 The Caribbean nations Tobago and Trinidad became 
 independent within the British Commonwealth. 
1964 California officially became the most populated 
 state in America. 
1980 Poland's Solidarity labor movement was born with an 
 agreement signed in Gdansk that ended a 17-day strike. 
1989 Great Britain's Princess Anne and Mark Phillips 
 announced that they were separating. The marriage was 
 16 years old. 
1990 East and West Germany signed a treaty that meant the 
 harmonizing of political and legal systems. 
1991 Uzbekistan and Kirghiziz declared their independence 
 from the Soviet Union. They were the 9th and 10th republics 
 to announce their plans to secede. 
1991 In a "Solidarity Day" protest hundreds of thousands of 
 union members marched in Washington, DC. 
1993 Russia withdrew its last soldiers from Lithuania. 
1994 A cease-fire was declared by the Irish Republican Army 
 after 25 years of bloodshed in Northern Ireland. 
1994 Russia officially ended its military presence in the former 
 East Germany and the Baltics after a half-century. 
1998 A ballistic missile was fired over Japan by North Korea. 
 The missile landed in stages in the waters around Japan. There 
 was no known target. 
2015  smiled.


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Windows slowing down after searching 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, August 30


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a prisoner in Arizona, who refused to leave Joe Arpaio's Maricopa resort. Details at Boneheads Today in 1645 American Indians and the Dutch made a peace treaty at New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam later became known as New York. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. --- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942) Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. --- Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661) Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. We need more statesmen. --- Bob Edwards ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Navy Captain looked the crew over and said, "Men, before anything more is said, I would like to clear up one thing. This isn't MY ship, this is YOUR ship." From deep in the ranks came a voice: "Hey buddy, wanna buy my share of a nice, big ship?" ______________________________________________________ A rich man walks into the president's office at a small but prestigious college and announces he'd like to donate several million dollars to the institution. "Why, that's very generous of you," says the president. "But there is one condition," replies the rich man. "I'd like an honorary degree bestowed." "That's no problem," says the president, "no problem at all." "I haven't finished," cautions the rich man. "I want an honorary degree for my horse." The president gulps and says, "Your horse??" "Yup, you bet," says the rich man. "She carried me for many a year and I owe her a lot. I'd like her to receive a Tr. D. -- a Doctor of Transportation degree." "But, but, but," protests the president, "we can't give a degree to a horse, what will people think?" "I thought you might say that. Well, I'll just take my donation to another educational institution." Seeing the millions slip through his fingers, the president says, "Wait, wait. Let me consult with the school trustees." A hurried trustee meeting was called and the president relays the details of the deal. All of the board except the oldest member reacted with shock and dismay. The oldest trustee almost appeared to sleep through the meeting. After all the arguments were made, this one old man says, "take the money and give the horse the degree." The president says, "What? Don't you think that would disgrace the college?" "Of course not," the old trustee counters. "Doing this would be an honor and a feather in our cap. It would be the first time we ever gave an honorary degree to the ENTIRE horse." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roy for this picture: ______________________________________________________ A high school teacher arrived late for class to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of herself on the blackboard. Fuming, she asked the class, "Who is responsible for this atrocity?!" The class clown won tremendous prestige among his peers by answering, "I don't know for sure, but it's probably something hereditary." _________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Spurlock, 29 Maricopa County jail Artizona
Arizona inmate gets arrested again after refusing to leave jail An Arizona man arrested on alleged possession of meth apparently liked the jail in Maricopa County so much that he didn't want to leave. David Spurlock, 29, was released on Wednesday for the drug charges, but caused trouble when he refused to vacate the premises, ABC15.com reports. Sheriff Joe Arpaio told the station that officers forcibly escorted Spurlock away from the lock-up. Police said when Spurlock was finally out of the jail, he ran to a marked semi-truck belonging to the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office and unsuccessfully attempted to start it up, according to the Associated Press. "Maybe he liked the food so much, he thought he would take a truck load of my vegetarian meals with him," Arpaio joked. Officials said Spurlock told them he planned to sell the truck. Spurlock is back in jail on a burglary charge and is being held without bond. He won't run away anyway.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elizabeth Re: Computer slow when browser running Dear Webby, Whenever I have my browser going, Windows slows to a crawl, and trying to find a file using Windows Search is pretty well impossible. After using Search I have to reboot, or just let it stall. The hardware is still perfectly good, and it runs fine, as long as I don't use a browser or the search. What's the problem? What can I do? Elizabeth Dear Elizabeth There is nothing you can do about Windows Search. That is a dud and not really capable of coping with todays large hard drives. Careful organization of your drives and then searching just one directory at a time helps. With the browser, get the ONE TAB extension and stash all but one or two extensions in ONE TAB. You can recall them instantly, but in the meantime they don't hog memory. That makes a very noticeable improvement in performance. Anything else runs up against all the updates and bug fixes, that slow Windows down. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tie Back Box Flaps to Return Soda Cans This might be one of those times when this only bugs me. But if not you are one of those who hates when box flaps get in the way. I labeled 1000's of pickled veggies for a friend who had a business. When I tried to put the jar in the sectioned off boxes, the flaps would always catch on my wrists or hands. The same happens for the soda boxes I fill to take them in for a refund. So today I thought of a way to keep them open. I didn't have a rubber band big enough so I used a head band. Elastic works, large scrunchies, even yarn or string. Just keep them open and down while you put the cans in. This is not a tip that will change the world but if it keeps some stress out of your life, then everything helps. N-JOY!! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [444] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: Sure, buddy. Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar? Soldier: No, SIR! ___________________________________________________

Wing man meets his maker
____________________________________________________ A business executive who had retired last year was discussing the joys of his new leisure time. He remarked that he had been compelled to give up skiing, a sport he had enjoyed for many years. "Afraid of injuries?" I asked. "Well, now I am," he responded. "Before I could drag a cast into work and still do my job, but now I'd be messing up my golf game." ____________________________________________________
Some of these optical illusions just blow my mind!

Today, Aug 29, in
1146 European leaders outlawed the crossbow. 
1645 American Indians and the Dutch made a peace treaty 
 at New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam later became known as New York. 
1682 William Penn sailed from England and later established the 
 colony of Pennsylvania in America. 
1780 General Benedict Arnold secretly promised to surrender the 
 West Point fort to the British army. 
1809 Charles Doolittle Walcott first discovered fossils near 
 Burgess Pass. He named the site Burgess Shale after nearby 
 Mt. Burgess. 
1862 The Confederates defeated Union forces at the second 
 Battle of Bull Run in Manassas, VA. 
1941 During World War II, the Nazis severed the last railroad 
 link between Leningrad and the rest of the Soviet Union. 
1951 The Philippines and the United States signed a defense pact. 
1956 In Louisianna, the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway opened. 
1960 A partial blockade was imposed on West Berlin by 
 East Germany. 
1984 The space shuttle Discovery lifted off for the first time. 
 On the voyage three communications satellites were deployed. 
1991 The Soviet republic of Azerbaijan declared its independence. 
1994 Rosa Parks was robbed and beaten by Joseph Skipper. Parks 
 was known for her refusal to give up her seat on a bus in 1955, 
 which sparked the civil rights movement. 
1994 The largest U.S. defense contractor was created when the 
 Lockheed and Martin Marietta corporations agreed to a merger. 
1996 An expedition to raise part of the Titanic failed when 
 the nylon lines being used to raise part of the hull snapped. 
1999 The residents of East Timor overwhelmingly voted for 
 independence from Indonesia. 
2002 Conoco Inc. and Phillips Petroleum merged to create 
Conoco-Phillips. The new company was the third largest 
 integrated energy company and the second largest refining 
 company in the U.S. 
2015  smiled.


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Ezinefinder malfunction 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, August 29


There were quite a few subscriber responses to the question 
about red on Friday. They are still coming in.
One of them was from James


Yes, I wear RED Fridays. I have made the guiding philosophy 
of my life support for the Veterans.  Thank you for your 
support and recognition of Veterans.  I participate in 
Veteran Support events whenever possible. 
James L. Crismon, HMCM USN RET.


So far about 1.5% of the subscribers wrote, that they do
wear a bit of red on Fridays. That is a low percentage,
but of a huge number. Considering the importance of the
troops and vets, I started that in 2001, I think,  
and will keep it up. 

And as long as I do, Ophelia will keeo doing it too.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Naked Female Driver, 23, Who Caused Power Outage Charged With Driving While Stoned Details at Boneheads Today in 1886 In New York City, Chinese Ambassador Li Hung-chang's chef invented chop suey. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. --- Thomas H. Huxley (1825 - 1895) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple was sitting together watching television. During a commercial, the husband asked his wife, "Whatever happened to our sexual relations?" After a long thoughtful silence and during the next commercial, the wife replied, "You know, I don't know. I don't even think we got a Christmas card from them this year." ______________________________________________________ Judi visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. The engine, though rather loud, was roaring smoothly, music was blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong? At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the hood and concluded after a few minutes that she didn't have a clue what was wrong. Luckily she had her mobile phone with her and a quick phone call to the AutoClub and a short wait saw a bright shiny yellow van pull up behind her. "That's a lovely car," said the mechanic. "What seems to be the matter? Judi replied, "Well, it just conked out I'm afraid." "Let me have look." He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was purring like a kitten again. "Thank goodness," she said. "What was the matter?" "Simple really, just crap in the carburetor," he replied. Looking shocked she asked, "Oh. How many times a week do I have to do that?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for this picture: ______________________________________________________ came home from school one day and said, "Mom, the teacher asked me today if I had any brothers or sisters." "And what did she say when you told her you were an only child?" his mom asked. And said, "Well, she just let out a deep breath and said, 'Thank goodness'." _________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Crystal Daniels, 23, Tacoma, Washington
Naked Female Driver, 23, Who Caused Power Outage Charged With Driving While Stoned A naked driver who knocked out power to a Seattle suburb when she crashed her Volkswagen into a utility pole was under the influence of marijuana at the time of the accident, according to police. Crystal Daniels, 23, was charged this month with driving under the influence of an intoxicating drug after tests showed that the THC concentration in her blood was above the legal limit in Washington, where recreational use of marijuana is legal, but driving while stoned isn't. Daniels, is scheduled for a September 10 pretrial hearing in King County District Court on the misdemeanor count. According to police reports, Daniels, a Tacoma resident, drove her vehicle into a utility pole around 1:40 AM on June 17. The crash caused power lines to fall to the ground and resulted in “about a hundred yards of flames.” The resulting electricity outage affected about 4000 residents in Shoreline, a city about 10 miles from Seattle. Daniels, the car’s sole occupant, had to be removed though the crumpled vehicle’s rear window. "She wasn't wearing any clothing," a deputy noted. King County Sheriff’s Office reports offer no insight as to why Daniels was naked. When investigators sought to speak with her after the crash, she was conscious “but babbling and not responding to questions.”
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Many Re: Ezinefinder malfunction Dear Webby, This is what I get instead of confirmation of my vote. I E-Mailed them asking why but got no answer. Has anyone else said anything. Confused, Frieda. Dear Frieda Your email is typical of many I received. Keep in mind that Ezinefinder is in Washington, state, where recreational use of marijuana is legal. Also keep in mind that Ezinefinder has some kind of wacky malfunction every August, when Lewis goes on vacation. When the cat is away, then apparently the mice will play, and not answer email. If you register, and put the Humor letter into the favorites there, then you can bypass the clowns and the vote confirmation email. You don't need a fancy password when you register there. Nobody is going to vote on your behalf, and that is all the registration is for. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Young Aaron Fikelstein came home in great excitement, saying, "Father! Father! On returning from school , I ran home behind the bus all the way and saved the fifty-cent bus fare." The father replied by slapping the son on the cheek as he shouted, "Spendthrift! Why didn't you run behind a cab and save $5.00?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Baked Rice Dish I make this rice dish often for my family because it's so easy and they love it! Just throw everything in the dish and bake, dinner is done! This makes a great side dish for the main course. You can also use broth instead of the consommé, but the flavor is not as robust. You can experiment with different spices and seasonings. Ingredients: 1 cup white rice, uncooked (I use Jasmine) 2 cans (10.5oz) Campbell's soup beef consommé 1 small onion, chopped 3/4 stick butter or margarine salt and pepper to taste Steps: Preheat oven to 350 F. Gather your ingredients. In 8x8 baking dish add the rice, the beef consommé, chopped onions and butter. Salt and pepper as desired. Place in the oven at 350 F. Bake for 40-45 mins. Enjoy! By Ida Claire [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The budding young Yuppette had been dating a successful stockbroker for several months. Just before Christmas she asked her Mother, "Whatever can you give a man who has everything for Christmas?" Her Mother smiled knowingly and replied, "Encouragement dear, encouragement." ___________________________________________________

Kiss Cam
____________________________________________________ At the supermarket parking lot I saw a lady who seemed rather upset. When I asked her what was wrong she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked around for organic vegetables for my mother-in-law, but I couldn't find any. So I asked him where the organic vegetables were. "He didn't know what I was talking about so I said, 'These vegetables are for my mother-in-law. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' And he said, 'No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself !'" ____________________________________________________
His artistry and penmanship is stunning!

Today, Aug 29, in
1828 A patent was issued to Robert Turner for the self-regulating 
 wagon brake. 
1833 The "Factory Act" was passed in England to settle 
 child labor laws. 
1842 The Treaty of Nanking was signed by the British and the 
 Chinese. The treaty ended the first Opium War and gave the 
 island of Hong Kong to Britain. 
1885 The first prizefight under the Marquis of Queensberry 
 Rules was held in Cincinnati, OH. John L. Sullivan defeated 
 Dominick McCaffery in six rounds. 
1886 In New York City, Chinese Ambassador Li Hung-chang's 
 chef invented chop suey. 
1944 During the continuing celebration of the liberation of 
 France from the Nazis, 15,000 American troops marched down 
 the Champs Elysees in Paris. 
1945 U.S. General Douglas MacArthur left for Japan to 
 officially accept the surrender of the Japanese. 
1949 At the University of Illinois, a nuclear device was 
 used for the first time to treat cancer patients. 
1957 Senator Strom Thurmond of South Carolina set a 
 filibuster record in the U.S. when he spoke for 24 hours 
 and 18 minutes. 
1962 The lower level of the George Washington Bridge opened. 
1965 Gemini 5, carrying astronauts Gordon Cooper and Charles 
 ("Pete") Conrad, splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean after 
 eight days in space. 
1983 Two U.S. marines were killed in Lebanon by the militia 
 group Amal when they fired mortar shells at the Beirut airport. 
1983 The anchor of the USS Monitor, from the U.S. Civil War, 
 was retrieved by divers. 
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, in a television interview, 
 declared that America could not defeat Iraq. 
1991 The Communist Party in the Soviet Union had its bank 
 accounts frozen and activities were suspended because of 
 the Party's role in the failed coup attempt against 
 Mikhail Gorbachev. 
1991 The republics of Russia and Ukraine signed an agreement 
 to stay in the Soviet Union. 
1992 The U.N. Security Council agreed to send troops to 
 Somalia to guard the shipments of food. 
1998 Northwest Airlines pilots went on strike after their 
 union rejected a last-minute company offer. 
2004 India test-launched a nuclear-capable missle able to 
 carry a one-ton warhead. The weapon had a range of 1,560 miles.
2015  smiled.


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