Stop automatic Windows shutdowns 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  October 31, 2009
Happy Halloween!

Painting, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients painted their statures. The only present alliance between the two arts is that the modern painter often chisels his patrons. --Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary."
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
A grandmother came by to show off her brand-new Pontiac Grand Am. The eight-year-old granddaughter took one look at the car and indignantly proclaimed, "They spelled grandma wrong!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan Neal,19, Keanthony Strickland,19, and Gabriel Williams,18. in Dayton, Ohio Boobheads DAYTON, Ohio (UPI) -- Police in Ohio said a man suspected of armed robbery with three others wore a black bra to disguise his face during the crime. Dayton Police said an officer heard a gunshot while patrolling late Sunday and followed the sound to a man who said a group of men robbed him of $10 at gunpoint, WHIO-TV, Dayton, reported. Investigators tracked down the getaway car used in the crime and four men fled the vehicle on foot. Officers said they apprehended Ryan Neal,19, Keanthony Strickland,19, and Gabriel Williams,18. The fourth suspect evaded capture. Police said all four were wearing black masks and officers discovered a mask worn by one of the arrested suspects, who were held in connection with the robbery, was a bra wrapped around his head.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brendt Re: Unwanted reboots Dear Webby How can I stop Windows from rebooting behind my back, just because it installed yet another bug fix and because it detected that I have some unsaved files open? Brendt Dear Brendt It's not just Windows. Adobe and many others are even worse. With Windows you can go into the Control Panel, select Automatic Updates, and select "Notify me but don't automatically download or install them". Occasionally, it will still do it anyway, but not nearly as often. Other programs, that keep popping reboot reminders and show a countdown timer bar, are often worse. With those you might as well throw in the towel, save everything and let it reboot. Otherwise they just keep annoying you until you do. Keep in mind that many programs have automatic saves that you can adjust. Just look in the Help for "auto-save", and set it for 2 minutes. With FireFox you can set it so that it saves all your open tabs and restarts with those tabs open. If you had a bunch of windopws open with movies or music, that produces some awful caterwauling, when all of them start playing simultaneously. Just mute the sound and hunt them down and stop each one. Have FUN! DearWebby
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, gave her a very suspicious look and then said, "Okay". Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Halloween Costume: Ghoulteacher For Halloween one year, I bought the ugliest dress I could find at the thrift store. It was a black sheath dress with yellow, white and gold shear collar and it was sleeveless. I wore black pantyhose and glued spiders and ants on the hose and dress. I had a fake rat that I pinned to my shoulder and my face was greened along with my arms and hands. I brushed out my hair with my head upside down and sprayed with the freeze type hairspray. I colored it with streaks of green. Maggie from Oak Lawn, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The finance committee of our church refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier, because none of the members knows how to play one.
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A third grade teacher asked her class: "I'd like you to be very quiet today. I've got a dreadful headache." "Excuse me," said , "why don't you do what my mom does when she has a hangover?" "What's that?" asked the teacher. "She sends us outside to play."

» Voyager
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What is OEM software? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  October 30, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!"

Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions. --- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." --- Aristotle "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.... Unless there are three other people with me." --- Orson Welles
The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.The lad asked, "What is this, father?" The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.The father looked at his son and said, "Go get your mother."
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. "Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me." "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will be costly. I charge $200 per weekly session and it may take a couple of years to solve your problem." "Two hundred dollars per session!" the man gasped. "Never mind getting rid of the monsters, Doctor. I think I will give that bed to my mother-in-law. That will fix their wagon!"
Moonlit
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeffrey S. Barber from Hamburg, NY Drunk Cow Costumed driver drives into river TOWN OF TONAWANDA — A man dressed in a cow suit was charged with driving while intoxicated Sunday after driving his car into the Niagara River. Town of Tonawanda police were called to the water treatment plant at 218 Aqua Lane for a call of a person in a cow suit showing up, asking for help and then running away just after 3 a.m. When officers arrived, they found Jeffrey S. Barber walking along the south fence of the plant and asked him to come over to the car. His cow suit was noticeably soaked with water from the chest down. When asked what happened, Barber said, “I just drove my car into the water,” according to reports. Barber went on to say he had been driving back to his home in Hamburg from a party in the town when his GPS device told him to take a right to get onto the 190. He took a hard right at that time, leading him down Aqua Lane, off the small boat docks and into the Niagara River. The car’s engine and electrical system stopped working, so Barber said he “smashed the window with his left palm like he saw how to do on TV.” He then climbed out, cutting his left hand and getting shards of glass into the left front pocket of his coat. After making his way to the water buildings — which he mistook for the University at Buffalo campus — Barber asked for help through the building’s public speaker. Once officers made sure Barber was safe, they went to locate his car to make sure there were no passengers. Barber said he was riding alone, but when officers smelled the odor of alcohol on his breath, they wanted to make sure. To their surprise, the car was nowhere to be found. The Sheridan Park fire company responded with a ladder truck to hoist a light and search for the vehicle through the water, but had no luck either. A worker at the water plant tried to review the tape from a surveillance camera to see what happened to the car, but accidentally erased the tape in the process. Police were also unable to get the address for the party from Barber since it was in the GPS system still located in the car. Barber’s cell phone containing all his phone numbers was also soaked and ruined during his escape. Town police then called the City of Tonawanda police department, which has its own dive team. The team already had a practice scheduled for 8 a.m. Sunday, so they conducted their dive at Aqua Lane Park. The divers located the car 50 feet from the shore and hauled it back to land, locating four whiskey bottles, three beer bottles and the head of the cow costume in the vehicle. Barber allegedly failed multiple field sobriety tests and a chemical breath test reportedly revealed a 0.20 percent blood alcohol content, leading to an aggravated DWI charge.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tash Re:What is OEM Software Dear Webby When searching for good deals for software, I often see that it is "OEM". What does that mean, and is it the full version or just a trial teaser, that stops working after a while? Tash Dear Tash OEM stands for Original Equipment Manufacturer. It means that the software is intended for pre-loading it onto new machines. It is a full version and comes with the registration numbers. While it is not quite legal to sell OEM versions without pre-installing them onto new machines prior to selling the machine, nobody makes a big fuss about it. The software makers are glad to get you on board, and count on you buying the next version legitimately. You don't get a fancy cardboard box with an OEM CD, just the CD in a plain sleeve, and no printed manual. However, there is a manual and help system on the CD, just like you had bought it pre-installed on a new computer. Have FUN! DearWebby
The chef at a family run restaurant had broken her leg and came into her insurance office to file a disability claim. As the agent scanned the claim form, heI did a double take. Under "Reason unable to work," she had written: "Can't stand to cook."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Craft Box For Kids I took a fishing tackle box (discarded by dad) and turned it into a craft box for my boys. I put in crayons, colored pencils, tape, glue, regular pencils. and some glitter, etc. Now when the boys want to be creative they can go get the craft box and have fun. By Reta Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

I noticed the neighbor down the street was home and sitting on his porch every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened . . . Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Mark, went into a convenience store to prepay for gasoline and returned with two plastic bottles of soda. As he filled the tank, his wife opened a bottle. To her dismay it fizzed and foamed all over her lap. Several miles down the road, Mark asked for his soda. Handing it to him, She warned, "Be careful. These are really over-carbonated." But when Mark opened his bottle, it barely hissed. Eyes on the road, he nonchalantly said, "You must have gotten the one I dropped."

» San Francisco Fog
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Printing labels 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 29, 2009

"What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him." --- Louis L. Mann "Nothing in life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it." --- Ellen Glasgow
The police recently busted a man selling tablets that he claimed stopped aging.. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928.
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."
Pre flight theory is so boring!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20 from Carroll, Iowa. Flakey disguise Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20 were arrested last Friday night after they tried to break into an apartment in Carroll, Iowa. A witness called police to alert them to the attempted break in, and said that the suspects then drove off in a white car. Police tracked the car down a few blocks away, and - having been told that the suspects appeared to be wearing holsters - arrested them at gun point, the Daily Times Herald newspaper reported. As it turned out, the duo didn't have either guns or holsters on them. They did, however, have permanent marker scribbled all over their faces, which made them rather easy to identify. The pair have been charged with second-degree attempted burglary, and McNelly has also been charged with driving while intoxicated.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Teri Re:Printing labels Dear Webby I have been told to dress up our shipping labels for envelopes and parcels, but WORD is a bit to limited for that. What do you use? Teri Dear Teri Word Perfct has handled labels perfectly since the days when dot matrix printers sounded like machine guns, long before there was a Microsoft Word. While I use Open Office Write for most writing, their label writing module still needs a bit of growing up. If you want to include graphics, you have to save it as HTML, and print that. Then Open Office works fine with all Avery labels. Once you get used to that, it's OK, and free. Word Perfect is not free, but you can usually find it on http://pricegrabber.com for $10 - $15 for the whole WordPerfect Office Suite. That also includes Quattro, an Enterprise grade spreadsheet program. WordPerfect's label module works perfectly with all Avery and many other labels, and is smooth and slick enough for continuous and every day use. However, if you print more than 200 labels a day, you will be better off getting a dedicated label printer from Brother. They have their own software included, and use rolls of labels instead of the expensive sheets with labels on them. Have FUN! DearWebby
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rotate Your Kids Toys Keep the toy box fresh and "new" for your kids, and have fewer toys to clean up. You can do this by putting away half of their toys. When they tire of the toys they have out, begin to rotate the toys by putting a few "new" ones out and tucking away some of the toys they have been using for another time. By Marie from West Dundee, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that during the sermon an elderly man passed out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The usher could find no pulse and there was no noticeable breathing." "What was so unusual and demanding about this particular call?" the interviewer asked. "Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out four guys before we found the one who was dead."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. Success is a relative term. It brings too many relatives. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop

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Irregular Subscriptions 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 28, 2009

"When you build bridges you can keep crossing them." ---Rick Pitino
Did you hear about the 79 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?
Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. "This I've got to see," I thought. They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off.
Thanks to Kim for this picture: Beavers are at it again
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Conway, 34, in Salem, Massachusets Not Ex-wife's sex toys SALEM, Mass. (UPI) -- Police in Massachusetts said a man stopped on the street with a bag full of stolen goods initially told officers the bag was full of his ex-wife's sex toys. Investigators said patrolling officers saw Michael Conway, 34, walking around Salem Tuesday morning with an empty bag, and he was stopped a few hours later when the same officers saw that his bag had become full, the Salem (Mass.) News reported. Salem police Lt. Conrad Prosniewski said the officers asked Conway about the bag's contents, and he told them it was full of his ex-wife's sex toys. However, the officers peered into the bag and discovered another man's wallet, a couple's checkbook, lottery tickets, a Garmin GPS device, compact discs, an American Express receipt, a couple of Lynn parking tickets, two cell phone chargers, a pink iPod, a camera, a Nissan key, gold charms and a watch. Police said they determined many of the items were from three cars that had been broken into nearby and they were working to identify the owners of the remaining items. Conway was charged with burglarizing the vehicles and two counts each of receiving stolen property and felony larceny. Police said more charges are expected as the investigation progresses.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marge Re: Irregular newsletter Marge d wrote: i really enjoy your dear webby letter,just wish i could get it everyday Marge Dear Marge I can't do more than sending it out every day. NEB Rural Route even blocks regular mail from me to you, so I will also send this from gmail. They can still block that, but it might slip by them. You may need to get a Gmail on the side, for when the sniveling ninnies mess with your email. Gmail takes a bit of getting used to, but at leat it is reliable, Have FUN! DearWebby
A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 1600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I have."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clothing Exchange Parties Here is a great way to help each other out with clothing, works for adult clothes too. Get your neighborhood, church or whatever together for a clothing exchange. Instead of tossing clothes out or donating to an organization, donate to each other. To make it fair, we cut up different colors of construction paper to represent money values, everyone gets the same amount to spend. This way no one person can scoop it all up. You can also trade items of equal value. It gets to be really fun! Then whats left over can be picked up by goodwill. It really saves on the clothing budget and it feels good to help each other out. We have lots of girls in my neighbor so it works out well and they have fun wearing each others clothes too! By Traceyvarela from Santa Rosa Beach, Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A 48-year-old Slovenian man who was refused an appointment with a psychiatrist at a hospital in Izola drove his car through the hospital's glass doors and down the corridor, stopping at the reception desk to demand that he see a psychiatrist. When questioned by police as to why he did this, he rather expectedly replied, "I don't know - that's why I'm here."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into her car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of her car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of her car. So the trooper decided to pull her over and perform a community service by giving the driver her chicken. He pulled her over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks, I just bought some."

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How do I record screen action? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  October 27, 2009

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." --- Fred Maslack There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. --- Ben Williams Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. --- Plato (427-347 B.C.)
Leah and Shifrah are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Shifrah is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me," Shifrah cries. "I'm so sorry for you. As I get older my husband says that I get more beautiful every day," replies Leah. And Leah says, "Yes, but your husband is an antique dealer."
"I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power outage caused the lights to flicker overhead. 'That,' he sighed, 'must be her checking out now.' "
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Water Hyacinth
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an Italian driver in Switzerland Cometary Driving Driver gets 15 citations in 11 minutes ST. GALLEN, Switzerland (UPI) -- Swiss police said an Italian man set a record for traffic violations in their country by racking up 15 moving violations in the space of 11 minutes. Police in St. Gallen said the 47-year-old's spree of road violations began when he drove past police while speeding 100 mph in a 60 mph zone during the weekend, the Daily Mail reported. Officers said the ensuing offenses include driving too close to other cars, driving too close to the curb, weaving across the white dividing line, failing to stop for police sirens, barreling through red lights, speeding through a construction zone and driving on a hard shoulder of a roadway. The driver was finally stopped at a roadblock and issued additional violations including driving under the influence of drugs, failing to drive with due care and attention and using a mobile telephone at the wheel. "This character will be getting his driving license back around the time Haley's Comet makes its next appearance," a St. Gallen police spokesman said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elvira Re: How do I record screen action? Dear Webby I need to make a little movie that shows my dear friends at the Lodge how to make spam filters in MailWasher. Yeah, I know its easier than falling into bed, but some of them expect it to be a lot more complicated, and they get confused. And some of them are a bit forgetful. What have you got, that will escort me through that chore? Thanks Elvira Dear Elvira Screencast-O-Matic will do that ncely. You can find a link to it in my tool box, if you lose this link. It is about a quarter of the way down the tool box page, just above Open Office. You don't have to download and install a program, it's all done "in the cloud". You just save what you produce, or send the movie to uTube. Have FUN! DearWebby
He's teaching her arithmetic, He said it was his mission, He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." And as he added smack by smack In silent satisfaction, She sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, Without an explanation, And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then Dad appeared upon the scene and Made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away And said, "That's long division!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Teaching My Grandson About Money I am trying to teach my grandson about money and how to be savvy with it. For Thanksgiving, I gave him 3 one dollar bills. His father took him to the dollar store and let him buy a gift for his mother for Christmas. He decided to get her a tool that cuts fruit like apples into sections. He also bought himself some little soldiers. By Carol from PABy Carol from PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!"
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Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and beaten", he pleaded. The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to his colleague: "You know the person that did this *really* needs help. We'll have to do a study in spring when it's not so cold, and file a report."

» Curved Spiral Adobes
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Free slideshow maker 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  October 26, 2009

One ship sails east, another west, By the self same winds that blow. It isn't the gales, it's the set of the sails, That determines the way we go. --- Ella Wheeler Wilcox Sometimes I wonder whether the country is being run by smart people, who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. --- Mark Twain
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out by their contract. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. "Wow!" he said. "Just think of the score he could have had if he wasn't sick!"
The children were lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of the school. At the head of the table sat a large bowl of apples, to which the teacher had attached the following note: "Take only one, God is watching." At the other end of the table was a large platter of chocolate chip cookies to which one clever young boy had attached this note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Viaduc de Millau, France
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Aleh Kot, 32, of West Springfield, Mass Man arrested after 1,000 mile test drive JANESVILLE, Wis. (UPI) -- A man who took a car on a test drive from a Massachusetts dealer traveled more than 1,000 miles to Wisconsin before he was pulled over, police said. Investigators said Aleh Kot, 32, of West Springfield, Mass., drove onto the Massachusetts Turnpike at about 1 p.m. in the 2010 Honda Accord with a salesman from Balise Honda in the passenger seat, The Republican, Springfield, Mass., reported Tuesday. Kot drove at speeds of up to 125 mph on the road, but the car salesman was able to escape the car in heavy traffic near a tollbooth in West Stockbridge, Mass. A Wisconsin State Patrol trooper pulled Kot over for speeding at about 4:20 a.m. Oct. 16 near Janesville, Wis. Kot was arrested for speeding, reckless driving and driving a vehicle without the owner's permission. He also faces charges of kidnapping, car theft, larceny and assault and battery in Massachusetts.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bill Re: Slide Show maker HI WEBBY LONG TIME FAN OF YOUR HUMOR LETTER AND THINKING. I HAVE A TASK AT HAND, THAT I CANNOT MASTER. I NEED TO MAKE A SLIDESHOW OF LOTS OF PICTURES AND THEN MOVE THEM TO A DVD. CAN YOU TELL ME HOW OR POINT ME TO A PROGRAM THAT IS USER FRIENDLY . IN THE PAST YOU HAVE ANSWERED SEVERAL QUESTIONS AND ALL HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD. THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO. YOUR HUMOR AND YOUR SUPPORT FOR YOUR READERS HAS BEEN APPRECIATED THANKS A LOT BILL Dear Bill Try Photostage Slideshow Software It is free and does all that, plus a lot more. It even does fades and fancy transitions from picture to picture. Photostage lets you set your photos to a soundtrack, record your own narrations and overlay text captions. You can burn the slide show onto CD or DVD, attach it to email or upload it onto the web. Hopefully you can send me a sample of what you create! Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Jess for this one: Dear Webby: I thought I might send you a cute story that happened in our church when our children were small. One Sunday during the morning church service our pastor was preaching away and his sermon came to a high point and he asked the question: "What is your problem?" Just as he asked the question a little boy was in the isle, he had started toward the bathroom. Thinking that the preacher was talking to him, the little guy just stopped, looked up at him, and said, "I gotta pee." To say the least the laughter took over and the sermon was never the same after that!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bake a Few Potatoes Ahead Whether you purchase potatoes in bulk and they're coming close to their expiration date or you simply like short cuts for daily meal preparation, try this: Bake up a few taters ahead. After baking you can peel them (or not) and then cube, slice, quarter, mash or simply place them whole in to individual baggies. Store what you think you'll want for the coming week in the fridge and the rest in the freezer. By Deeli from Richland, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Trina is very attentive when she goes out on a date. Lately, at a movie she was overheard to say: Trina: "Can you see, dear ? Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is your seat comfortable ?" Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is there a draft on you ?" Date: "No" Trina: "Good ! Let's change seats."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two priests were talking. The older one said to the younger, "When you came to our church I wondered how your new ideas were going to work. "When you replaced the front pews with bucket seats, I had my doubts. But now at every mass, the front seats are filled with young people. "When you 'jazzed up' the choir by singing new and peppy songs, I was afraid it might offend the older folks, but we have more people in church now than ever. "When you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But more people are coming to confession than ever. "However, the neon sign out front that reads: 'Toot 'n tell or go to Hell' has to go!

» Natural Phenomena
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Will Open Office work without effecting Microsoft works? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  October 25, 2009

"We judge of man's wisdom by his hope." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Wise men put their trust in ideas and not in circumstances." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson An artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. --- Emile Zola "You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions." --- Naguib, Mahfouz
In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e".
Jill was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?" "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!" "Oh, that's okay," said Jill from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question." "I object!" the defense said again. "No, really," Jill said. "I'll answer." The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object." So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?" Jill replied brightly, "I don't remember."
1000+ year old beer billboard in Barrier Canyon near Moab, UT Corona seems to be the only brand still in use today.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Robinson, 32, of Florence, Ohio Driver downs drink as cops arrest him James Robinson had one more for the road, police said. After all, they don’t serve hard liquor in jail. When police caught the 32-year-old Florence man early Monday driving with an open bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, Robinson finished off the final sips as he was being arrested, police said. That last drink resulted in an additional charge of tampering with evidence. Robinson is facing charges of operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated and having an open container of alcohol. Springdale police were called to Ventura Court after getting a call that Robinson was trying to break into his former wife’s home. Robinson had fled in a white Toyota by the time officers arrived, setting in motion a search, police said. Officers pulled Robinson over down the road, quickly noticing “a strong odor of alcohol on his person and bloodshot, glassy eyes,” according to the arrest report. Robinson failed a field sobriety test, police said. That’s when he guzzled down the remaining vodka, police said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dani Re: Will Open Office interfere with MS Works? Good Morning Webby, I hope you are having a good day. Will Open Office work without effecting Microsoft works? Thank you for your expert advise always. Dani Dear Dani yes, sure. It is a totally independent program, and you can easily pick up old Works and Office files with it without any problem. You can even export what you write as PDF, not just in any of dozens of word processor and spreadsheet formats. Have FUN! DearWebby
Petra had forgotten to get her estrogen patch prescription refilled, and soon the symptoms of menopause--hot flashes, forgetfulness, irritability, short temper, bossiness, aches and pains, etc., etc. returned. Eventually she wound up at the drugstore and was telling the pharmacist all about her problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Cake Mix to Flour a Pan My mom gave me this tip a few years ago. When a cake mix calls for greasing and flouring the pans, she uses butter to grease and some of the dry cake mix to flour the pan. The cake doesn't end up with white on the outside and it doesn't taste bad like flour would. By Lori from Indiana And then there is the method lazy bachelors like me use: Line the cake pan with wax paper. After baking, tilt the pan a bit, give the paper a little tug and the cake slides out onto the cooling rack. The pan is clean and ready for the next cake. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer. She wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head her husband parted his hair on. "I forgot," she said. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Thanks to Sandie for this story: A train hit a bus filled with Catholic School kids and they all perish The go to heaven and try to enter the pearly gates Saint Peter asks the first, a girl named Kelly, if she ever had contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger". Saint Peter says, "OK dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gates." He asks the next girl the same question she said "Well I once fondled and stroked one." He says, "Ok dip your whole hand into the holy water and pass through the gates." All of a sudden their was a tremendous commotion in the line. One girl pushed her way to the front of the line. When she got to the front of the line he asked her, "Mariah what seems to be the rush?" She answerd, "! if I am going to have to gargle that holy water I want to do it before before Todd sticks his fat butt in it!"

» Pumpkin Wizard
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Verdict on Windows 7 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  October 24, 2009

"All you need for happiness is a good gun, a good horse, and a good wife." --- Daniel Boone "Happiness is a way station between to little and too much." --- Channing Pollock "Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length." --- Robert Frost "A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents." --- G. C. Lichtenberg
A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact,I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther than I could my last ones."
Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could deliver their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to talk to him. The doctor said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad news is that it is a cesarean." Ole started crying, and said, "Vel, I'm glad it is a healthy baby, but I vas kinda hoping it vould be Norwegian!"
See today's Bonehead Award
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dennis Anderson, 62, in Proctor, Minnesota Drunk Lazy Boy Driver A Minnesota man arrested last year for drunkenly driving a motorized La-Z-Boy lounge chair pleaded guilty this week to a DWI charge. Dennis Anderson, 62, was nabbed after driving his chair into a parked car, according to a Proctor Police Department report. A subsequent blood draw showed Anderson's blood alcohol content was .29, more than three times the legal limit. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson's jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term. His La-Z-Boy, which Proctor cops seized shortly after Anderson's arrest, will soon be auctioned along with items forfeited by other perps.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Final Verdict on Windows 7? Dear Webby, Have you got a final decision on Windows 7 yet? Safe to switch from XP or should I wait a while yet? Thanks for all your great help and advise. Ann Dear Ann No, it is definitely not safe. And there is absolutely no reason for paying to be a guinea pig. XP works fine and you are used to it. Remember all the hype about Vista, that was all just BS? Well, now you get the new and improved hype about Windows 7. Since there is nothing out there, that requires Windows 7, it's best to wait until Windows 7 SP2. By then they will have most of the bugs worked out. Hopefully. Until then, just sit back and chuckle about all the sob stories of what happens to people who switched too early. Have FUN! DearWebby
An Easterner was riding with a rancher over a blistering and almost barren stretch of West Texas, when a strange bird scurried in front of them. Asked by the Easterner what the bird was, the rancher replied, "That's a bird of paradise." The stranger from the East rode on in silence for a moment, then said, "Long way from home, isn't it??" ...and the fight was on....
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refill Bottled Drinks With Juice and Water I used to buy Snapple and other bottled drinks when I was at work or school, but it got expensive and I was worried about all the bottles I was wasting. Now I save the bottles, wash them out, fill them a third with juice and pop them in the freezer. The next day I fill them to the top with water. I then have flavored water which stays cold. By Heather from Los Angeles, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

teacher during an arithmetic lesson. "If you had five pounds," said the teacher, "and I asked you for the loan of three pounds, how many would you have left?" "Five," said young MacTavish firmly. "Five?" the teacher said "How do you make it five?" "Well," replied young MacTavish "You can ask for a loan of three pounds, but after what you said at the last Parent-Teacher meeting, just asking for a loan doesn't mean you will get it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous." "My William used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?" "I hid his teeth." "Serves him right for hiding YOUR teeth so that you couldn't go to the mall."

» Art of Taxidermy
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Ericcson Laptop 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  October 23, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. --- Walter Bagehot
Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?"
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the day when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. It's me. me wife made me join that Baptist Church an I've had to quit drinking. Didn't affect me brother's, though."
Puu Oo Vent on Mount Kilauea, Hawaii Pretty, but don't tell the Algorian Sheep about it. They would want to cap and tax it!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to two NorthWest Airlines pilots Northwest Flight Misses MSP Airport Published : Thursday, 22 Oct 2009, 2:28 PM CDT MINNEAPOLIS - The NTSB is investigating a case of distracted pilots at the controls after a Northwest Airlines flight overshot the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport by about 150 miles. According to the National Transportation Safety Board, Northwest Flight 188 from San Diego to Minneapolis lost radio contact with air-traffic controllers around 6:56 p.m. CDT on Wednesday. The Airbus A320, cruising at 37,000 feet, was carrying 144 passengers and five crew, said Delta. At 7:58 p.m. CDT, the plane flew over MSP Airport and continued northeast for approximately 150 miles. The MSP air traffic controller reestablished communications with the crew at 8:14 p.m. and said that the crew had become distracted and had overflown MSP, and requested to return to Minneapolis According to the FAA, the crew was interviewed by the FBI and Minneapolis airport police. The crew said they were in a heated discussion over airline policy and they lost "situational awareness." Military fighter jets in two locations were on alert after communication was lost with the NWA plane. Pilots were in the jets on the tarmacs, fueled up and waiting for orders. The NTSB is scheduling an interview with the flight crew. Flight data and voice records have been secured and sent to the NTSB in Washington. Delta has taken all involved pilots off of active flight duty until the investigation is complete.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lillemor Re: Ericsson laptop Dear Webby, from a friend.... thought you might try this also. I actually checked this on Snopes at 11:11 AM this morning and it’s currently legitimate so I’m going for the R320. Thanks, M- I DID check Snopes - it IS legit ... They're trying to match a recent deal by Nokia! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ericsson T18 & R320 laptop promotion I DID check Snopes - it IS legit ... They're trying to match a recent deal by Nokia! ---------- blah, blah, blah --------- Dear Lillemor That is a very Dumb Hoax Remember, Snopes lost all credibility during the 2008 election campaign. Ericson is a phone company and does not make laptops. DUH! No wonder Obama got elected. Gene pool needs more Chlorine, or your Gullibility Epidemic is going to get outa hand! Have FUN! DearWebby
"Electricity originates inside clouds. There, it forms into lightning, which is attracted to the Earth by golfers. After entering the ground, the electricity hardens into coal, which, when dug up by power companies and burned in big ovens called 'generators,' turns back into electricity. The power company sells it to consumers who use TV sets to transform it into commercials for beer, which passes through the consumers and back into the ground, thus completing what is known as a 'circuit.' "
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Jimmmie came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what happened and Jimmie said, "Well, dad, it's like this. I challenged Larry to a duel and you know how that goes . . . I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh huh," said the father. "That seems fair." "I know . . . but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school teacher. "He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny. "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher. "He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny. "Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."

» Old Tire Art
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Windows Police Pro 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 22, 2009

Choice, not chance, determines destiny." --- Socratex The road to a friend's house is never long. --- Danish proverb
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus." "We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin." "You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins when the children have graduated and moved out of the house."
While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?" The guide replied: "One."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a store robber in Lippe, Germany Robbery suspect robs another shop while on way to police station A 41-year-old robbery suspect in Germany made efficient use of his time - while on his way to the police station to be questioned over one robbery, he stopped to rob another shop. 'It was a case of "just nipping out to do a bit of thieving before being interrogated for shoplifting",' police in the western region of Lippe said on Tuesday. The man's cunning plan was only uncovered when police checking that morning's supermarket robbery in the town of Blomberg - for which they had detailed descriptions of two thieves and their getaway car - were surprised to find a man closely matching the description waiting in the reception of their police station. The man was there to be interrogated over a previous shoplifting incident. Outside, police said said they found his accomplice sitting with the stolen goods in a car with the matching number plate. The man now faces a second set of charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kathy Re: Windows Police Pro Dear Webby, Please help! My computer crashed on me two days ago.When it happened,I was on IE when a full screen came up telling me that Windows Police Pro had found virus's on my computer.One of them was called Half Lemon.I know that this could not be from Windows,mainly because of the poor spelling. The large screen is so large that I can not read anything on my desktop.There are two more screens popping up with warnings also.I have anti virus and a firewall. I am not able to remove this,nor am I able to get online at all.I can get to my folders,but I am afraid to open them.Thank you so much for all the help that you give us. Sincerely, Kathy Dear Kathy Sounds like you need a LOT better virus control, than you have on that machine. Windows Police Pro is a well known trojan and most of the decent anti-virus programs block it. If you can't get online with that machine, your options are very limited. The info about Windows Police Pro is here: http://www.2-spyware.com/remove-windows-police-pro.html It CAN be removed manually with the instructions on that page, and they have links there for some programs, that will remove it. Check with the vendors of those programs, whether you can save their program onto a CD and take it to the infected machine. If you decide to try to remove it manually, print out the instructions on that page, including the help files they got for each step. It is not really that difficult, just a bit tedious. Please be aware that Windows Police Pro cripples your anti-virus program. After you get rid of it, you will need to un-install your anti-virus program and re-install it fresh. You may also have to repair some Windows files, and in extreme cases even re-install Windows. However, at least you will be able to copy your important data to CD or DVD before doing a re-install. Have FUN! DearWebby
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child'scheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Trick or Treating Bag A white pillow case (or any old one will do) works really well for trick or treating. It holds lots of candy, won't tear and can be seen by motorists when most costumes are dark. They can be decorated to look more festive. For shorter children, they could be cut down shorter or folded inward to half the size. By Candy from Hector, MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained, "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Twenty," said Buffy. So the girl bought the twenty rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 12 rolls left over. "Buffy," she said. "I bought twenty rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 12 left over!" "Amazing!" said Buffy. "So did I."

» Ultimate Light Show
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HTTP ERROR 12152 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 21, 2009

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. --- Muhammad Ali
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "OK, I'll buy the chocolate. Then YOU can give the money to charity."
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE: Don't bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right, have it your way.... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Lahr, Germany
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stacy Kolinski, 22, of Lafayette, NY NY woman arrives drunk to pick up DUI friend LAFAYETTE, N.Y. (AP) - Troopers have charged a 22-year-old upstate New York woman with aggravated driving while intoxicated after she showed up drunk at the state police barracks to give a ride to a friend who had been arrested earlier for DWI. Troopers said Stacy Kolinski had a blood alcohol level of .20 percent - more than double the legal limit - when she arrived at the Lafayette barracks 10 miles south of Syracuse around 2:30 a.m. Sunday. Kolinski came to the barracks to give a ride to 34-year-old George Reddick who was stopped for speeding earlier Sunday morning and charged with DWI and misdemeanor criminal possession of cocaine. Reddick and Kolinski were both issued tickets to appear in town court at a later date, preferably sober.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette Re: HTTP ERROR 12152 Dear Webby, Good morning, this is my enjoy time of the day, early morning and reading your news. Hope you are having a gooday and week. Can you tell me what a HTTP ERROR 12152 is? I would like to know so I can try and fix a problem I keep getting, thanks Annette. Dear Annette usually that error indicates a connection problem. Test your connectivity with the Internet Frog: http://internetfrog.com/mypc/speedtest/ Sometimes you can clear a bad connection by getting to a DOS command prompt and typing ipconfig /flushdns and hit Enter. Then try the frog again. You can use your numbers as ammo when you call your ISP. Have FUN! DearWebby
When the car engine developed a slight knock, Joe asked his wife if she had bought high octane or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the roughness of the engine." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always," Nancy replied. "I told the man to put in ten dollars worth, as usual."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refurbish Old Plastic Pumpkins With Paint Recycle your old faded plastic pumpkins with a new coat of paint and a little glitter. Acrylic paint works best for indoor and outdoor use. By Laura from Newberry, FL Unless you have old pumpkin paint sitting around, it will be a lot cheaper to buy a fresh pumpkin. Paint is getting more expensive, but pumpkins are getting cheaper. Pumpkin seeds are amongst the world's 10 healthiest foods. If you wash them, sprinkle them with steak spice or onion salt, and lightly roast them for 10 minutes, you can use them for an interesting TV snack, or toss them into a salad. Or sprinkle them with sugar and cinnamon instead, before roasting. They will turn the most boring porridge into a royal breakfast. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk that when she was a kid the Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes three. "I'd like to know why," she scoffed. The clerk thought a moment and then suggested, "Hmmm, maybe that pony is gettin too old for that route?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Michael was talking to Roy one day, and said, "My wife suggested that I take up a new sport this summer." Roy said, "Wow, that's nice. It shows that she has your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?" Michael replied, "As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, do you know how to play this Russian Roulette" ?

» Pathways
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Seeing double 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  October 20, 2009

Now there's an updated version of the three R's: Readin', 'Remote control handling' .. and Replacin' the batteries in the remote control. --- Socratex Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. --- George Bernard Shaw Tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. Tell a woman something, it goes past both of her ears. Whisper something near a woman, it goes in in both her ears and comes out of the mouth of every woman in town. --- Mark Twain
A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United." Joe answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" John answered, "Mom."
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for repairing our new church roof. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Thanks to Cookie for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 22-year-old Brittney L. Diaz of Springdale, Arkansas Child left by mom after hit and run RoPolice in Springdale charged a mother for allegedly leaving her 4-year-old child behind when she fled a traffic crash. Police were called early Saturday morning to a traffic accident at an intersection. When they arrived, 22-year-old Brittney L. Diaz of Springdale was gone from the scene. Her child was being helped by the other driver. Both were taken to a hospital. Police responded at 1:49 a.m. to a two-vehicle accident in which Diaz was driving a beige Mitsubishi Diamante that collided with a silver Jaguar XK8 at Thompson Street and Twin City Avenue, when he failed to yiel the right of way. . The child was ejected from Diaz's car before she fled, according to the arrest report. Witnesses told police the child was lying face down in the roadway after the accident. The driver of the Jaguar, Jason Walsh, 39, got out of his car and picked the child up from the road, the report states. Police say Diaz was caught a short distance from the accident scene. She was arrested after being treated at a hospital. She is charged with leaving the scene of an accident and first-degree endangering the welfare of a minor, both felonies. Diaz was also issued citations for no child safety restraint and failure to yield in addition to the felony charges. She was released Saturday from the Washington County Detention Center on a $2,500 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Christine Re: Seeing Double Dear Webby, I really enjoy your column & all your good advice. Could you please tell me why I receive everything in doubles from you? It takes twice as long to delete the doubles. Thank you & God Bless Christine L. Dear Christine You had subscribed to both the regular and to the large font version, most likely on a day when Yahoo failed to deliver your preferred version. I have now UN-subscribed you from the Large Font version. Have FUN! DearWebby
Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night? "He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Planning for Retirement Be prepared. Make sure you haven't any bills to pay out, like a car or house payments. Do you have your second insurance to cover you and your spouse when you see a doctor, or be rushed to the hospital? Medicare will take out $96.50 per month from your S.S. check. Even without car or house payments, you still have to pay for water, gas, and/or an electric bill. Also, you have to maintain your car. You will need to buy a health coverage for your medications. Take stock for what you have to pay out each month and how much you can put back for travel or trips that may come up that weren't planned. You will get a retirement check, but if you owe money you can get hurt. You will live on what you get for one month before another check arrives. Spend wisely. Grow some of your food, even if it's grown in big flowers pots. Take this from someone who has lived on retirement for three years. Be sure in save some money before you have that last day at work. By Shonda from Grand Rivers, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember to whom."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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Two voices, male and female, on an overnight "red eye" plane flight: "I think everyone's asleep, let's go" Sound of steps. "This one's empty. No one is looking. You go in first" "It's a bit cramped, let me sit down" "Have you got the condom? Quick, put it on" Sniff sniff "Ah perfume! You think of everything." "This is great..." (long sigh) Static on the loud speaker then a new voice. "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing, and it is expressly forbidden by the Government that YOU elected. Now, put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector...!"

» Darling Suds
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Can anybody make money on the net? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  October 19, 2009

Real Humility is not a degree of ego, but a quality of compassion --- Calon Lan I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. --- Samuel Goldwyn
Joe's daughter's eighth grade history class planned a visit to the US capital. Unfortunately, she was not greatly enthusiastic about a trip that she considered too "educational" to be fun. However, on their return, Joe was pleased to hear how she and her classmates had been filled with awe and emotion as they gazed at the Washington Monument. "To think, dad," she marveled. "We were standing right where Forrest Gump stood."
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! By the way, who are you?"
Me, getting of my ass? Nah.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 23 year old robber in Little Rock, Ark Robber loses wallet, then asks victim to return it LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - Police said a would-be robber was in jail after losing his wallet during the attempted robbery then phoning the victim and demanding him to bring it to him. Little Rock police said the 23-year-old man was arrested on robbery charges Tuesday. Police said the robber tried to rob a man at gunpoint at his home but fled and dropped his wallet, then later called and told the victim to return the wallet at a service station in North Little Rock. Little Rock police were interviewing the victim when the call came and notified North Little Rock police who found the suspect outside the service station and arrested him after a short foot chase.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Evelyn Re: Can anybody make money on the net? Dear Webby, Can anybody make money on the net from home? Or does that take some special education or a pile of money to get into it in the first place? Evelyn Dear Evelyn No, not just anybody can make money on the net. If somebody is worried that earning an extra five or ten thousand a month would knock them off their subsidy or support, then they won't make a penny. The net is exactly the same as any other type of self employment. If you make your net business your priority, you will make good money. If you don't, then you won't. And no, you don't need any special education. Most of the people, who make insane amounts of money every month, didn't even finish high school. The specialized education and skills are available dirt cheap, for example that 120 video ecyclopedia of web business skills for $7 for the whole bundle. Anybody can afford that, and look up whatever they need next. There is no need to go to University for that. For any other specialized knowledge and skills there are plenty of cheap eBooks available. Just get a mentor or coach to tell you what you need versus what is a waste of time. The important prerequisites are all inside you. It's just a matter of lining up ALL of your priorities like a team of sled dogs. If they all face in the same direction, then you can go fast. For example, if you are not willing to dump your cutesy AOL address, then you are just wasting time. YOU might be one of the few honest AOLers, but there are 5 Million parasites and rip-offs giving YOU a bad name. It is too steep an uphill battle, and you won't make money that way. That is just one example. Another example is believing that, because you are so cute, you can get away with free or almost free web space. It may be a lot of fun goofing around on Yahoo and Facebook, but if you try to use those places for more than sending people to your REAL business site, then you are taking valuable time away from your business. The same goes for most of the "social" sites. They are not in business for YOUR benefit. Commercial grade web space is cheap enough, ($2 and up) and money is absolutely no excuse for playing instead of working. I could go on and on, but you see that it is mostly just a matter of lining up your priorities, latching on to a mentor or coach, and focusing on your web business. The most surprising fact is that it is easier to start a new web business and becoming very profitable, than it is to keep an old business profitable. Have FUN! DearWebby
The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "Noooo,...she explained, "he tried to move the wet laundry from the washer into the dryer all by himself."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pumpkins as an Outdoor Vase When it's pumpkin time and you have flowers in your yard, why not use your pumpkin to display a bouquet of flowers on your porch or doorstep? I had a lot of marigolds which were still blooming so I arranged them in the hollowed out pumpkin. You can place a jar of water into the pumpkin so your arrangement will last a lot longer. By Sewingmamma from Pittsburgh PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Son: "Here's my report card, Dad, along with one of your old ones I found in the attic." Dad: "Well, Son, you're right. Your report card isn't any better than mine was. I guess the only fair thing to do is give you exactly the same kinda beating as what my father gave me, when I brought that one home.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning 'til night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and un- bothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied:"Sorry, I can't hear a thing. The battery in my hearing aid went dead a few years ago."

» Moon Plume
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Real or fake BING 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  October 18, 2009

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. --- Benjamin Franklin How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. --- Marcus Aurelius Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of becoming. --- Goethe
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.
Thanks to Jai for this picture: Here are a couple pics from our most recent trip up to Lake Wabakimi, Canada Enjoy Jay
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nicole Altendorf, 37, in Grnd Forks, ND Woman shows porno near school GRAND FORKS, N.D. (AP) - A woman is accused of showing a pornographic video out the window of her Grand Forks home near an elementary school. Police said 37-year-old Nicole Altendorf bit an officer's arm and kicked him several times in the groin as he tried arrest her Friday. In the squad car, she allegedly spit in the officer's face. Altendorf faces felony charges of simple assault, contact by bodily fluids and preventing arrest, along with misdemeanor charges of possessing drug paraphernalia and disorderly conduct, and of course the porno near schools charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: bing Dear Webby, I sure hope you don't retire anytime soon!! You are the only one I trust with answers. I received a message the other day saying I needed to update (either Java or flash player, I can't remember which) and I started to do it but it said it would make Bing my toolbar. I don't know what Bing is so I got off and did not update the message. Is it safe to do use Bing? Thanks again for the great newletter and all your help. Carolyn Dear Carolyn My machines work just fine without Bing, Bong or similar Crapola. No legitimate or respectable program requires you to accept crap that you wouldn't choose voluntarily. The real Bing MIGHT be OK, but anything that is installed against your wishes, and doesn't allow you to decline, is probably seriously bad stuff. It's one thing to OFFER you the Google or Yahoo tool bar, which can be cleanly un-installed with one click, as a voluntary CHOICE, without any coercion, and something totally different to foist crap on you, without giving you the choice to decline. Neither Java nor Flash push crap on you, so most likely you got suckered into a fake or spoof.. Run a good virus and malware scan! Have FUN! DearWebby
was waiting on a London street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist. 's comment was: "A bit airy...." Hearing this, the girl replied indignantly, " 'ell yes! What did you expect ..... feathers?!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Plan Meals in Advance to Save Grocery Money The number one way I save money on my groceries is menu planning. I write out what we will have for dinner the whole week, make up the grocery list, and add to it any necessity items such as toilet paper, detergent, etc. Sticking to the list has helped me a lot in saving money buying items I don't really need that week or giving in to temptation buying things that look good, but most likely won't get used. I have cut my grocery bill by almost 40 to even 50 dollars a week by doing this. Give it a try! By Debbie from Fisher, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint. "I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one. "CTC? Who are they?" "You know," he responded, "Call Them Collect."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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One day, a foreign family arrived in New York City. This was the first time out of their native village, and it didn't take long before the wife got lost. The husband asked a passerby for help and was told to go to the police and report it. When he got there, a police officer asked him for the wife's description. "What's that?" asked the man. "Well, you see a description is telling what something looks like. For example, my wife is 25-years-old, 5'11", 140 lbs, 38-25-36 measurements. Now, what can you tell me about your wife?" "Maria can wait, lets go look for yours!"

» GoodWill Shopping
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Microsoft Office replacement 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  October 17, 2009

Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not. --- Isaac Asimov When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. --- Richard Buckminster Fuller
A teacher was upset that one little boy was swearing in class. "Todd," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear those words?" "My daddy says that," Todd replied. "Well, that doesn't matter," the teacher explained. "I don't want to hear that language in here again." Turning away, the teacher muttered "At least he doesn't know what it means." "I do, too!" the little boy replied. "It means the car won't start!
A Scotsman was dying. On his deathbed, he looked up and said: "Is my wife here?" His wife replies: "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you." The Scot goes: "Are my children here?" "Yes, daddy, we are all here." say the children. The Scot: "Are my other relatives also here?" And they say: "Yes, we are all here..." The Scot gets up and says: "If nobody is sneaking into my whiskey, then why the heck is the light on in the kitchen?"
Mike O'Callaghan and Pat Tillman bridge over the Colorado River at the Hoover Dam. Arch is completed! If you want the picture in larger size, tell me what size you want all the way up to 2400x1800.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 54 year old dopey woman in Brant township, Saginaw Michigan Woman calls cops over stolen marijuana plants Example of how some people haven't quite grasped what it is the police do, a woman called the cops to report the fact that her marijuana plants had been stolen. According to police the 54-year-old woman from Brant Township in Michigan called authorities after two men broke into her home, and demanded her crop of marijuana. According to Detective Sgt. Randy F. Pfau, the woman claimed the two men fled after taking the plants. Officers responding to her call promptly arrested her on charges of manufacturing and delivering marijuana. She claimed the crop was for personal use, but did not have a medical marijuana card required under Michigan's recently-passed laws on personal use of the drug.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bev Re: Microsoft Office replacement Dear Webby, Here I am, back again for your expert advise. I have a friend who has an eye condition and doesn't have a computer. I have been writting to her in bold large letters using Microsoft office word. Now they want me to buy it for $229.95 Is there another free program that I could use? Your humor letter and my cup of coffee starts my day off right. Thank you, Bev Dear Bev You have seen me mention Open Office! Just go to my tool box and download it. It is free, and better than Microsoft Office. You can even write PDF eBooks with it! I have used it for years and it is just fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
Doctor: "Have you ever been troubled by appendicitis?" Patient: "Only when I've tried to spell it."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Swap Sports Supplies with Other Parents My son has played football for 8 years and is currently playing JV football in high school. My husband is a coach for the youth football league so I have faced the cost of spikes, etc many times. Talk to other parents, they may have used gear they can't use anymore. Also talk to coaches of the sport your child is in, they accumulate extra stuff all the time. I have several sets of spikes my son can't use anymore so I go to my husband's practice and see if anyone else can use them. By Kim from Franklin Park Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

One day Father Boudreaux and Father Thibodeaux wus fishin on da side of da road. So as not a make it obvius that they were fishing, they hung a big religious poster over a highway sign. Actually it was da back offa Madonna poster and dey had hand lettered on it: "The End is Near! Turn yurself 'Round now afore it's too late!" Well, dis one car dat passed didn't appreciate the sign an da driver wus shouting at dem and hollerin "Git Lost, you religious nuts!" Den all of a sudden dey heard a big splash, an dey looked at each other, an Fr. Boudreaux said ..... "ya think it's maybbie bad luck ta hang a Madonna poster onn da 'Bridge Out' sign?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye."

» Nat Geo Photos
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IP address behind a router 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  October 16, 2009
Wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

"Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work. " --- Edison "A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce." --- Don Quinn
offered to care for the eight-year-old daughter of her next-door neighbor. arrived in time to prepare breakfast and laid a generous helping of bacon and eggs in front of the child. "Mother always serves hot biscuits for breakfast," said the eight-year-old. So, , very eager to oblige, hurried into the kitchen and quickly prepared a plate of hot biscuits and laid them in front of the girl. "No, thank you," she said. "But I thought you said your mother always prepares hot biscuits for breakfast!" said in surprise. "She does," said the child. "But I don't eat them."
Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck. He tried a little scolding. It didn't work. A little pleading, to no avail. Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye. He said "Look young man, if you can be stubborn, so can I. You're not going anywhere till you eat something. You can have whatever you want, but only after you have eaten will you leave." Josh just sat and glared for some time, then said "Ok. I'll eat but I have some conditions. First, I'll have exactly what I want and exactly how I want it and second you'll share with me." Dr Gill was ok with this. He asked the child what he'd like. "Worms!" said Josh. Dr Gill was horrified but didn't want to back out and seem like a loser. So, he ordered a plate of worms to be brought in. "Not that many, just one " yelled Josh as he saw the plate. So, everything other than one worm was removed. Josh then demanded that the single worm be cut into two and then Dr Gill eat half. Dr Gill went through the worst ordeal of his life, and after finishing barely managing to keep his cool said ... "Ok, now eat!" Josh refused - "No way! You ate my half!"
Thanks to Ethel for this gorgeous picture: This was taken yesterday in Uxbridge, MA. Ethel
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cesar Lopez, 29, of Lebanon, Pennsylvania Dopey Fashionr October 15, 2009, 10:55AM Cesar Lopez, a 29-year-old Lebanon, Pa., man, was busted Saturday when he walked up to a police officer with a small bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead, according to Lebanon police. Police said the officer went into a Turkey Hill convenience store on Lehman Street at 3:25 a.m. Saturday and saw Lopez holding a baseball cap and peering inside it. When Lopez approached the officer, he looked up, and the officer said he saw a small plastic bag stuck to Lopez's forehead. The bag appeared to contain marijuana, police said. The officer retrieved the bag from Lopez’s forehead and said, “Is this what you are looking for?,” according to the police report. Lopez was charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kevin Re: IP adress while behind a router Dear Webby, The "ipconfig" route will NOT work if you are behind a NAT router (which includes every home router since the very first Linksys BEFSR41 almost 10 years ago). "ipconfig" will report your local internal IP address, which will likely be 192.168.???.???. In this case, there are only two ways to get your IP: whatismyip.com (as you mentioned), or to look at the web server built into the router (which requires knowing the admin password for the router). I love your newsletter. Keep up the great work! Kevin Dear Kevin yes, you are 100% right. Thanks for reminding me! Have FUN! DearWebby
One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, his father said, "Oh, about half of them."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Milk Carton Candles Recycle used chunky candles by making your own. Melt down your leftovers double boiler style (never leave during this process), then dip the end of a new taper candle into this melted wax. Immediately place it into a clean wax-type half gallon milk carton and let it harden, making sure to keep it centered. Take other used tapers and break them into pieces, then place into the carton around the taper. Pour your melted wax in next and let it harden, then cut a slit in the top of the carton and tear it off. The result is a beautiful new candle that cost very little. By Patricia from Imperial, NE Don't do that inside, just in case your fire insurance does not cover candle making experiments. There is not a lot of leeweay between the temperature at which wax melts and at which it starts to burn, suddenly, especially if you use mixed and unknown waxes. If you use mixed and unknown waxes, do it outide, on a hotplate. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The psychiatrists were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the speaker, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?" "Elation." "And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?" Bubba replied, "I believe that would be giddy-up."
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"May I take your order?" the waiter asked. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special sir," he said. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

» Movie Map
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How do I find my IP number? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 15, 2009

Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future. --- Nils Bohr Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. --- Carl Bard You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller
A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to see her license. After looking it over, he said to her, "Lady, it stipulates here on your license that you should be wearing glasses." "Well, I have contacts," the woman replied. "Look lady, I don't care who you know," snapped the officer. "You're getting a ticket."
Thanks to Sandie for this story: To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay. "Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?" The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years ago!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 22-year-old journalism student in Germany Train drags mooner A German man mooning at railway staff in a departing train got his trousers caught in a carriage door and ended up being dragged half naked along the platform, out of the station and onto the tracks. The 22-year-old journalism student shoved his backside against the window of a low-slung double-decker train when staff forced him off in Lauenbrueck for travelling without a ticket, a spokesman for police in the northern city of Bremen said. "It's a miracle he wasn't badly hurt," the spokesman said on Monday. "This sort of thing can end up killing you." Instead, dangling by his trousers, the man got pulled along for about 200 metres, all the while managing to keep his legs away from the wheels of the train. The ordeal ended when a passenger pulled the emergency brake. Rescue services were called in, causing rail services between Bremen and Hamburg to be suspended for over an hour, delaying 23 trains. The man -- unharmed except for cuts and bruises -- now faces charges of dangerous interference in rail transport, insulting the train staff, and may face sizeable a compensation claim for the delays he caused, police said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marian Re: IP adress Dear Webby, I am visiting my sister and her idiot ISP won't let me use my own, domain based email address as the sender address. So I have to Skype my web host and tell them the IP number of the hour, so they can authenticate me. They are good guys, not the usual Taliban, but they seem to think I know how to get my IP number. I don't want to appear stupid to them and pester them to explain how to get my IP number. Besides, I know that YOU can 'splain it in terms that I can understand. Thanks Marian Dear Marian That is quite normal. Walter, The Stonecarver, even skypes me from planes to set his current IP number as a legit source of his email, not just coffee shops where he meets his clients. There are two popular ways to get your IP number. One is to browse to http://whatismyip.com The other way is to click on START, RUN type cmd and in the scary black screen that you then get, type ipconfig and hit ENTER. The third line from the bottom shows IP ADDRESS ......: 209.89.159.191 (the number will be yours, not the example I used) Right-click, select MARK smear that number with the mouse and hit ENTER. Now that number is in the clipboard, and you can paste it into Skype or wherever you want. After you have done it once or twice, the ipconfig method will be a lot faster. It is instant, and you don't have to wait for any site to respond. Have FUN! DearWebby
"How long have you been driving without a tail light, buddy?" demanded the policeman. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a low moan. His distress was so great that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Aw, come now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "What happened to my boat and trailer?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Bright Clothing or Background in Outdoor Photos When picture taking outside, I noticed the pics looked really dull. So I always get the kids to dress up in bright colored clothes or use bright back grounds. I also like using the sky as a background by letting the kids climb a tree, monkey bars or swing set take the picture looking up at them. The pics come out bright and beautiful. My photo books are filled with bright pics of the kids. They make great gifts for great grandpa too. By Stephanie from Porter, Texas Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Mary Sue passed away in the middle of the night, so her husband, Bubba, called 911. The operator answering the call said they would be sending someone over right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba answered, "At the end of Eucalyptus Lane." Then the operator asked, "Could you spell that for me?" There was a long pause, until Bubba finally said, "How about if I drag her over to Oak Street and you can pick her up there?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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On a recent flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in the air-sickness bag that they so kindly provide, though in the last 30 years I have never seen anybody use them for anything other than saving un-eaten food for later, usually to eat while hiding in a quiet corner of the airport and having a smoke or two during the wait for the next plane. When I exited the plane a stewardess asked me: "Sir, would you like me to dispose of that for you?" As usual, I grinned and told her: "Oh, No ! I'm saving it. I got plans for that."

» Butterfly Migration
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Deleted Firefox Bookmarks 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 14, 2009

We love because it's the only true adventure. --- Nikki Giovanni In order to succeed beyond your wildest expectations, first you need some wild expectations. --- Socratex
In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman............ Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
John's barn burned down and his wife, Sandy, called the insurance company. Sandy spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth." There was a long pause, and then Sandy replied, "If that's how it works, cancel the life insurance policy on my husband!"
Thanks to Jerry for sending this picture taken by his wife Allyn Here's several fall photos taken by my wife last fall in Letchworth State park located about 40 miles south of Rochester, NY. Letchworth is nicknamed the Grand Canyon of the East. The river is the Genesee and is one of only a few major rivers in the world that flow north.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Julia E Laack of Sheboygan, Wisconsin Burglar left hos phone behind A woman's attempt to avoid arrest over shoplifting some beef jerky proved ineffective, as it turned out that stripping in front of policemen won't stop them from arresting you. Kicking them in the groin also doesn't help you cause, apparently. The woman, identified as Julia E Laack of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, was arrested at her home after she allegedly stole the beef jerky and a lighter from a convenience store. When officers arrived at her house, she began by swearing at her children, then stripped to her underwear. She told officers: 'You can't arrest me as I am going to be naked now.' Laack then kicked one of the officers in the groin and spat at another as they attempted to prove that they could, in fact, arrest her. She then decided to round off her evening by mooning from the back window of the squad car as she was taken to the police station. Preliminary tests showed that she had a blood alcohol level of 0.112 percent, significantly above Wisconsin's 0.08 percent drunk-drive limit.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ron P Re: Deleted Firefox Bookmarks Dear Webby, Love your tips and jokes been with you since the 90's and have built up a pile of your tips and links thanks. I am using Firefox and I had some problems logging on so I reinstalled Firefox and did some other cleanups and now I have lost all of my bookmarks. Is there any way to get them back I had a lot of them. I also use Avast,Adwear,and Super anti-spywear. as always thanks for your help. RON P Dear Ron Here is all the info about finding your lost Firefox bookmarks, no matter how you lost them: http://kb.mozillazine.org/Lost_bookmarks Have FUN! DearWebby
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Trade Costumes With Friends If you have friends with children the same size or about the same as yours, trade Halloween costumes. This way, each costume will be "new" to each child. You won't be out any money, unless you choose to 'dress up' the costume a little more. By Terri H. from NV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An English professor announced to the class; "There are two words I don't allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool." From the back of the room a voice called out, "So, what word is groos and which one is cool ?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Only in Oklahoma can you hear.... "You wanna Coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper." "Sorry, we only got Pepsi"

» Cafe Curiosity
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Firefox redirect warning 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  October 13, 2009

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs. --- P. J. O'Rourke If the public are bound to yield obedience to laws to which they cannot give their approbation, they are slaves to those who make such laws and enforce them. --- Candidus in the Boston Gazette, 1772 Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. --- William James
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the Big pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the little pink pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
Recently, in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..."
Thanks to Cookie for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Derrick Albert Robinson, 41, Gainesvile, Florida Burglar left hos phone behind GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI) -- Police in Florida said they arrested a car burglary suspect who apparently left his cell phone at the scene of the crime. Gainesville, Fla., police said a man turned in the cell phone Sunday saying he discovered the item in his unlocked car after someone had rifled through the inside of the vehicle, the Gainesville Sun reported. The officer called a number on the phone and Derrick Albert Robinson, 41, was identified as the phone's owner by a friend. Police told the friend Robinson could pick up the phone at the police department's downtown substation. Robinson arrived at the substation and was arrested shortly after 4:30 a.m. Monday. He identified the phone as his but said he did not know how it ended up in the burglarized car. Investigators said Robinson was carrying an iPod that was reported stolen in a separate burglary. Robinson, who previously served prison sentences for drug possession, burglary, trafficking in stolen property, theft and obstructing a criminal investigation, was charged with burglary and trespassing.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jo Re: Firefox warning about page redirections Dear Webby, I wrote before and think I was not real clear with the problem. I get this message when i try to click on a link in my gmail emails "firefox prevented this page from automatically redirecting to another page" then I have to click on "allow" sometimes twice. Jo Dear Jo You can turn that warning off in the Options, but I would not advise that. There is a very good reason for that warning.. Quite often malicious domains are hiding behind harmless looking ones, and FireFox warns you if you are being forwarded somewhere, where you might not really want to go to. Not ALL forwards are dangerous. Some are quite beneficial, for example if you are forwarded into a secure area to finalize your shopping. However, FireFox, and probably other browsers too, warn you that there IS forwarding going on, and to be careful. Have FUN! DearWebby
During our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not such a big boob." The minister rose to close the session and remarked, "That's quite okay. We all like big boobs."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Paper Towel Tube for Vacuuming While vacuuming, I misplaced the tube with the flat end. I noticed an empty paper towel tube and flattened the end of it. It worked perfectly! By April from NW Missouri Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've aleady blessed all this stuff before."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the caller kept trying to convince me to change my mind and volunteer. I interrupted and said, "I'm incapacitated. Do you know what that means?" She hesitated. "It means your head was cut off?" "No", I tod her. "But YOU can loose 15 pounds of ugly fat! Try our handy, dandy Do-It-Yourself Guillotine!"

» Fall Foliage
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Is McAfee and Spybot compatible? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  October 12, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving Day to Canadians!

My DSL modem died Saturday night. I wasted over an hour on the phone explaining to their Taliban, that when you move the computer's cable from the router directoy to the modem, which has all lights out except the power light, and your computer complains that you have a network cable unplugged, then that is a sure indication that the modem has died. The result was a promise that a tech would come by on Thursday to check the cables and see if I needed a new modem. Sometimes it is a good thing that phones don't allow me to use my fist to install or activate brain cells! Until I get a new modem from Telus, I am on slow dial-up with Earthlink. I am paying for 46 kb/sec, but actual file download speed is currently between 3.6 and 4 kb/sec. Please don't send me any 8 or 10 MB movies, even if they came around only three, four times before. I just dump them right on the server anyway. I am sure glad I got MailWasher to sort my mail right on the server. At this speed, otherwise my mail would never finish downloading. Have FUN! DearWebby
Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. --- Carl Sandburg
It's forty below zero one winter night in Alaska. Pat is drinking at his local saloon and the bartender says to him, "You owe me quite a bit on your tab." "Sorry," says Pat, "I'm flat broke this week." "That's okay," says the bartender. "I'll just write your name and the amount you owe me right here on the wall." And Pat pleads, "I don't want any of my friends to see that." "They won't," says the bartender. "I'll just hang your parka over it until it's paid."
Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street! Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
City folks' substitute for leaves
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mark Emanuel Freeman, 27, of Pensacola, Florida Wrong place to rob Patrons at a local bar decided to fight for their right to party Wednesday night, when a man with gun tried to rob the business. A customer of Richey’s Ninth Avenue Billiards hit the suspect in the head with a pool stick and other patrons tackled the gunman and detained him until Escambia deputies arrived, a Sheriff’s Office news release said. The suspect was taken to the Escambia County Jail with scrapes and bruises, the release said. There were about 20 people at Richey’s when the suspect, later identified as Mark Emanuel Freeman, 27, entered about 8:15 p.m. Bartender Diana Spink had just finished her shift and was sitting at the end of the bar when Freeman entered wearing a black hooded jacket and a white scarf covering his face. “He said, ‘This is a holdup,’ and we all turned and looked and thought it was a joke,” she said. That’s when the suspect fired a shot into the ceiling, Spink said, which got everyone’s attention. What Freeman didn’t notice was the man standing behind him chalking a pool stick. “When (Freeman) turned, Curtis, a bar patron, broke his own pool stick over the guy’s head,” Spink said. “Then about eight people jumped on Freeman.” Deputies recovered a BB gun that Freeman used during the incident, the Sheriff’s Office release said. Freeman was charged with robbery with a firearm and battery for fighting with the bar patrons while trying to escape. He was taken to the Escambia County Jail and is being held on $51,000 bond, the release said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ormond Re: McAfee plus Spybot Dear Webby, Again many thanx for your effort in the newsletter. I find it really does improve my day. It is refreshing knowing that there are still people not afraid to "offfend" & speak out for what they believe in. We need more like you. Todays question is: Is Spybot compatible w\ McAfee? Thank You Again, Steve J. Dear Steve Yes, they work quite fine together. I have used McAfee since it came on 360 KB 5 1/24" floppies, and Spybot-Search&Destroy for about 10 years. McAfee claims, that you don't need Spybot beside their protection, but a bit extra security doesn't hurt. In addition to that, some of the utilities in Spybot occasionally come in quite handy. Have FUN! DearWebby
One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30. "Good morning," a young man said sheepishly. "This is your wake-up call." Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed to call me at 6 AM!.... I complained. "What if I had a million- dollar deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss out on it?" "Well, sar, Goodness gwacious me," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you haf million-dollar deal, you prollaby not be staying at a Ramada Motel!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Creative Bartering We have a pal who is having trouble with her car. She knows a fellow who makes cabinets and will also work on her car. He will possibly buy it from her, in exchange for making her new kitchen cabinets. She says by bartering like this, it's going to save her from having to search for a reputable garage, all the parts and details of the car repair. All she's got to do is pick out her choice of nice cabinets for her home. By Terri from NV Barters like that often turn into a reminder, that you should have insisted on a written and very detailed contract. It's one thing to staple together Sears cabinets, that fell apart during shipping, and nailing them up, and something totally different to create nice custom cabinets according to the client's specifications. If it is the second, that she expects, the car better be a fairly new Mercedes! Trying to do that wiothout a detailed contract just leads to unreasonable expectations and destroyed friendhips. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Sue gave her hubby a state-of-the-art metal detector. He excitedly took his new toy to the back yard to try it out. When he scattered some change on the ground, it seemed to work fine. Then, even when he wasn't near the coins, the thing kept going off. Over and over, he adjusted and re-adjusted with no luck. After watching him for a while, Sue said, "I think I know what's wrong." "I know what I'm doing!" he snapped back. After 20 minutes, he finally turned to her. "Okay, what's wrong?" Sue said, "You're standing over the buried oil tank."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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In the good old days.... Back in the 1960s we didn't have the space shuttle buzzing around within rifle range of the mountains to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy old moon. In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an axe, you just had to hope your axe was better than his. In my day you couldn't take basket weaving or acting instead of math. And that was before they invented calculators! If you couldn't calculate the trajectory of an intercontinental missile with a pencil, well, then you just repeated Grade 6 until you could. In my day, we didn't have school buses. We had to hitch a ride on a dinosaur or walk to school 5 Miles, with barb wire wrapped around the bare feet for traction on the glacier, and it was all uphill. Both ways!

» Virtual Age
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Firefox history in tree view 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  October 11, 2009


The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. --- John Russell Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. --- Maurice Chevalier
Thanks to Ann for this: I just had a call from a local charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to get lost !! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving.
Thanks to Ginny for this story: After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, "'Do all these children and this luggage belong to you?'' ''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, they're all mine.'' The customs agent began his interrogation: ''Ma'am, do you have any weapons, explosives, contraband or drugs in your possession?'' ''Sir,'' she calmly answered, ''if I'd had any of those things, I would have used them by now.''
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Forehand, of Lititz, PA Man Asked His Own Daughter for Sex on Facebook Pennsylvania state officials arrest five men, including a man who allegedly used Facebook to ask his own daughter for sex. Attorney General Tom Corbett said on Friday that John Forehand, of Lititz, PA., allegedly used Facebook to find and sexually proposition his own biological daughter, calling himself "Bad Daddy." According to the criminal complaint, Forehand proposed meeting the girl for sex and explained in graphic detail the sex acts, telling her "not many other fathers and daughters are this brave, so not many of them are so lucky to experience all these pleasures." Corbett said the girl alerted her mother, who contacted the Ephrata Borough Police Department. The state Child Predator Unit and Ephrata Police arrested Forehand when he arrived at a predetermined meeting location on October 7. Agents seized a camera, tripod and an unopened box of condoms from Forehand's vehicle, along with a digital camera, camcorder, computers and data-storage devices from his home. Forehand faces numerous charges and is being held on $400,000 bail. Corbett said the other men in the sting were from Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Schuylkill County. Corbett identified the defendants as Timothy A. Gehres, 22, of 205 East Center St., Donaldson, Schuykill County. Frank W. Bonacci, 27, 105 Legrande Drive, Pittsburgh. Michael Edward Quartucci, 27, 2544 West Girard Ave., Philadelphia and Timothy D. Anderson, 42, 141 Conestoga Blvd., Lancaster. Quartucci, an emergency medical technician from Philadelphia, is accused of sending nude photos and pornography to what he believed were 13-year old girls from Norristown and Pittsburgh, but were actually cops playing on Facebook. http://snipurl.com/sfsyd
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ormond Re: FireFox history in tree form Dear Webby, I saw a fancy form of the FireFox history in tree form while passing the desk of an employee, but didn't want to act ignorant and ask in front of all the smart-asses standing around. What is the name of it, and where can I get that tree view of the FireFox history? Thanks Ormond Dear Ormond It is called History Tree and you can download it free from History Tree After you install it, you will see History Tree in Tools. It rudely opens in full screen mode, but you can resize it to a more usable size. The current version doesn't zoom yet, but if the programmer gets enough feedback about that, I am sure he will add that shortly. Have FUN! DearWebby
The young lady walked over to the room where she knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door. "We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?" "Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm his mother!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Small Savings Add Up I just talked to a friend who was complaining that she has to come up with $1000 every October and she has nothing saved up. I asked her if she could save $19.25 on a weekly basis. She said she could, if she cut out her morning coffee and took her own to work, and if she also skipped eating lunch out one day a week. I told her if she did that each week for a year, she would have her $1000. So, tomorrow she is going to schedule $19.25 to come directly out of each paycheck and go to her Credit Union Account. This would be a great way to save for Christmas, property tax, propane bills, vacation or other recurring yearly expenses. By April from NW Missouri Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man driving in Southern Indiana, heading for Kentucky, saw a sign that read: "LAST CHANCE FOR $1.25 GAS!!!" He still had more than half of a tank left, but figured he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill up. As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "How much is gas in Kentucky?" The man replied, "$1.19."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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"We live in a great country," the kindergarten teacher said. "One of the reasons we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said . . . "I'm not free. I'm four!"

» Steamboat Whistles
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Turn off Verizon filtering 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  October 10, 2009


Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. --- Henry Kissinger
Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN."
Norvegian Logic: Lena once had two chickens. One of them got terribly sick. So she killed the other one to make chicken soup to get the first one well again. ----- hmmm that sounds like the current US economic policy. Maybe the Nobel Prize Committee recognized one of their own?
Thanks to Lynn for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Nobel Prize committee Nobel prize for persuasive teleprompter reading What are they going to award, if he actually DOES something positive?
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rita Re: Verizon censoring Dera Webby, Can you tell me how to stop my incoming emails from being blocked? It is not my junk mail or spam fillter doing it..I believe it is Verizon.. are there any settings I can change to stop this? Thank you for your knowledge..You are so helpful to people like me. Rita Dear Rita From what I heard, Verizon has a spot in your account set-up where you can turn off their rather flakey email filtering. You may have to contact Verizon support to find out where in your account manager that setting is. Verizon isn't the only one doing that. They are just trying to be helpful in their klutzy old ways. Filtering for Millions of people is very difficult even for Google and is always too lenient for some and too strict for some others. If you want intellignet spam control, use MailWasher and set your own priorities. Have FUN! DearWebby
Ole and Sven were taking a vacation in Sven's new camper. As usual, they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Sven was just starting down a grade to go under a bridge when he slams on the brakes. Ole: Vat da heck you do dat for, Sven? Sven: Dat sign dere says "Low Bridge. No Vehicles Over Twelve Feet High." Dis here camper is t'irteen feet! Ole: Cripes almighty Sven, dere ain't no cops around. Yust hit da gas pedal and go for it!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Decorate Your Pumpkin With a Mask This year at the end of the season, buy up the Halloween masks when they are in the clearance piles. I purchased masks for pennies each and saved them until the next year. I place them on appropriately sized pumpkins and used them to decorate my front yard. I live across the street from an elementary school and they got lots of views! By Linda from Lebanon, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Ole and Lena got married. On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee. Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, ve are married now. You can go a little farther now if ya vant to"... so Ole drove to Duluth.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."

» Know your drugs
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Yahoo picture problems 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  October 8, 2009
Wear a bit of red to show your support of the troops!

"The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it. --- Laurence The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to make a sailor blush. --- Socratex
Gina was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where her husband was stationed in the military. As she checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked her some standard security questions. "Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack yourself?" he asked. Gina told him that her mother-in-law had given her a parcel to take to her son. He looked at Gina very carefully and very slowly and deliberately asked: "Does your mother in law like you?"
Two is equal to two, except when referring to time. Two minutes of a child's temper tantrum at the supermarket last 20 times as long as the two hours of her nap time.
Thanks to Jerry for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Benjamin Kuzelka, 23, of Loma Linda, California Calif. man blows hand off while mixing explosives at Marijuana farm / daycare center LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Explosives and a marijuana farm were discovered at a Southern California home doubling as a state-licensed child day care center after a man blew off four of his fingers while mixing homemade explosives, authorities said Thursday. Benjamin Kuzelka, 23, remained hospitalized at Loma Linda Medical Center and will be arrested when he his discharged, said sheriff's Sgt. Dennis Gutierrez. His mother, Rebecca Kuzelka, 55, and brother, Greg Kuzelka, 21, were booked Thursday on suspicion of manufacturing illegal explosives, illegal growing of marijuana and child endangerment, he said. Authorities went to Kuzelka Family Day Care after a local hospital reported late Wednesday that Kuzelka walked in and said he had shot himself in the hand. Doctors, however, became suspicious because the wound was inconsistent with a gun shot injury and they called authorities, Gutierrez said. Investigators found explosives, a sophisticated marijuana- growing facility and evidence that the home had been used as a state-licensed child care facility as recently as the day before, Gutierrez said. The home is on a cul-de-sac in a remote area of Riverside County about 70 miles southeast of Los Angeles. "We do believe that when all this illegal activity was going on, that children were present," he said. However, no children were home at the time of the explosion, authorities said. The explosives were hidden outside and detectives believe Grey Kuzelka moved them from the garage to the backyard while his brother was seeking medical treatment, said sheriff's Sgt. Pat Chavez. A hazardous device team responded to the scene and defused explosives Thursday in several controlled blasts throughout the day. They left the scene by the late afternoon, Gutierrez said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jerry Re: No pictures on Yahoo Dear Webby: No photo today... How about this one for tomorrow: Jerry Wolf Dear Jerry Great picture! Thanks Jerry! Todays picture shows up fine in your reply. Since it is on the server and the mail just calls it from there, it's obviously just a routine yahoo malfunction. Depending on the version of Yahoo that you have, if you hit Forward or Reply, as if you were going to show somebody how messed up Yahoo is today, that will cause the pictures to miraculously appear. You don't have to actually forward the mail, just act as if you were going to. Have FUN! DearWebby
While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wash and Freeze Your Apple Harvest With apples so good and plentiful now, why not freeze them so that you may enjoy sauces and apple desserts all year. Fill empty spots in your freezer with apples that have been washed only. Don't pare, core or peel. Just put in plastic bags before storing in freezer. When you are ready to use them, just peel and slice as with fresh apples. Let apples stand out of freezer for 1 hour before peeling. This makes them easier to handle. Be sure to use them at once before they turn and become soft. By Jane from Piqua, OH Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Boudreaux left the bayou and moved to Arkansas and bought a donkey for $100 from an old farmer. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "I'm sorry, but I have some bad news... the donkey died last night." "Sacri-Bleu" said Boudreaux, "den gimme my money back." "I can't do that Sir, I went and spent it already." "OK, den. Jus' unload dat donkey." "What are you gonna do with him?" "I ham gon-to raffle him off." "You can't raffle a dead donkey, you dumb Cajun!" "Well dats where you wrong.! You wait an' you learn how smart we Cajuns are!" A month later the farmer ran into the Cajun and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" "Hi raffled dat donkey off. Hi sold 1000 tickets at two dollar apiece and made too towsend buck. Dat was enough for a old JonDeere with a bucket, an hi use dat to bury your dead donkey." "Didn't anyone complain?" "Jus dat guy who won. So Hi give him his two dollar back. You got any more donkey?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Teacher: Well, there's one good thing I can say about your son. Father: What's that? Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.

» New York Panorama (and 60 other cities )
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Multiple browsers 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 8, 2009


One man with courage makes a majority. --- Andrew Jackson (1767-1845) "What a new face courage puts on everything!" --- Ralph Waldo Emerson Courage is the triumph of integrity over fear --- Socratex
Some letters from subscribers: From Donna I personally do not know if the votes matter to you, but since you are so kind to furnish all kinds of solutions to our varying problems and with a very prompt response, I would like to encourage everyone who receives the newsletter to take just a few seconds and cast a vote each day. I don't know the number of subscribers, but expect we could easily break the 50,000 mark. It could be our way of saying a very big thank you. Donna ----------------------------------- Dear Webby, I'd like to compliment Dianne on her excellent choices of websites to browse. Most of the time I can spend at least 15 mins or more checking it out cuz there's so much to see. Please let her know how much I look forward to her selections almost as much as I look forward to your letter, lol. Trish ----------------------------------- From Ann D A big Thank you to Dianne for the trip down memory lane of my trip to China. I really appreciate her links. Thanks Dianne! Ann ----------------------------------- From Arthur I finally got around to getting that 120 Video bundle that you recommended. I told Liz, my wife about it. Instead of looking at the videos with my log-in, the silly ninnie bought her own! A minute later she sold them to four of her co-workers, and by lunch time, an hour later, she had made over $200! Now we got some friendly competition going on, but I have a hunch she will stay ahead. Hopefully you will find us more stuff like that! BTW., neither my wife nor me have looked at the videos yet. PS. What percentage of the subscribers were smart enough to take advantage of all that free money? Arthur ----------- Dear Arthur It's not really free money. You DO have to mention the deal to friends. But it is indeed a very good return for very little effort, if you have smart friends. And yes, there will be more deals like that. I am testing one now, that pays you every month, not just once. So far it looks good, just as reliable, and too good not to share it. I have not done an exact count of the people who took advantage of the 120 Video bundle yet, but so far it looks like only about 2% of the readers were not worried about extra income bursting their wallet. Have FUN! DearWebby --------------------------------------- From Glenda Dear Webby I love the pictures you select! No other newsletter has such high quality pictures as consistently as you do, except maybe Ophelia. But you are coaching her, and probably slipping her some pictures now and then. OOPS, I better stop before I slip my foot into my mouth. Can you plese send me a large size picture of that beautiful hay Castle picture? That needs to be printed large and hung up on the wall! Thanks Glenda ------------- Dear Glenda I put the full size picture up at http://webby.com/humor/i/whatthehay1024.jpg Have Fun! DearWebby
A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you said ...."

At the company water cooler, the office braggart was boring his fellow workers as usual. His topic of the day was about his children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another working in southern Italy. Then he told everyone that his daughter was working on a year's research project in India. "What is it about you," a co-worker finally asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away from you ?"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Douglas martin, 24 of Orlando, Florida Homesick for jail ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) - A 24-year-old Florida man is back in jail, just days after he became a free man following a two-year sentence. Douglas Martin told investigators he was broke and homeless after getting out of jail. Police said he started robbing banks after seeing a news report of a serial bank robber who made it look easy. Martin's previous sentence was for burglary. Police believe Martin robbed two banks between Tuesday, when he was released from prison, and Friday, when he was arrested just outside a Bank of America. It would've been his third heist, but Martin got spooked and walked out after passing the robbery note.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lisa Re: Multiple browsers Dear Webby: If downloading Firefox along with IE8 how do you switch back and forth? Thanks, Lisa Dear Lisa Each of them will have an icon on your desktop. You can run either one of them, or both of them at the same time. Once you have tried them both for a while, you can make one of them the default. Whichever one is set as the default, will open up when you click on a link in an email. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man approached his family physician and said, "Doc, I'm afraid you'll have to remove my wife's tonsils one of these days." The doctor pulled out the family's medical file and exclaimed, "Why, I removed them six years ago! Did you ever hear of a woman having two sets of tonsils?" "No," the husband retorted, "but I'm sure you've heard of a widower marrying again, haven't you?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Adding Length to Curtains Here is a tip to add a little pretty length to curtains so you don't have to spend to replace them if you move and they no longer fit. Add ribbon or trim or how many ever rows of yo yo's needed to make them the right length. You could even add width to them the same way. By melody_yesterday from Sedalia, MO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A new convert to Catholicism decided to go to confession to deal with his transgression. In the confessional, he told the priest that he had sinned. "What was your sin, my son?" asked the priest. "I stole some lumber, Father," replied the man. "How much lumber did you steal?" asked the priest. "Father, I built my German Shepherd dog a nice new doghouse." The priest replied, "Well, that's not so bad." The man continued, "Father, I also built myself a 4- car garage." "Well, now, that's a little more serious." "Father, there's more. In addition to the doghouse, the 4-car garage, I also built a 5 bedroom, 4 bath house!" With a pause, the priest finally spoke. "That is a little more serious. I'm afraid you'll have to make a novena." "Father, I'm not sure what a novena is, but if you've got the blueprints, I've got the lumber!" ---- (A Novena is a long and tedious set of prayers)
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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Max dies and leaves Sadie with a total of $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend says, "How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left just after Max died. How could you be broke?" The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me $5,000. And of course, I made a donation to the temple, so that was another $5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone." The friend says, "$10,000 for the memorial stone? Vayismere! How big is it?" "Three carats."
» EUro Rails
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AT&T and Netgear 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 7, 2009


Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. --- Franklin P. Adams
The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets, weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver. She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street,but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. "Driver!" the passenger screamed,"Are you trying to get us both killed?" "Relax,lady," he said, "just do what I do. Close your eyes."
A young boy walked up to his father and asked, "Dad? Does a lawyer ever tell the truth?" The Father thought for a moment. "Yes Son," he replied, "Sometimes a lawyer will try anything to win a case."
Yesterday's picture was from Cookie, not my dad. Sorry about that! Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath. On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard. "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time. On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Fr.Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!" He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. "HOOVER!" By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer and asked the priest, "Why do you say 'Hoover'?" And Father Murphy said, "It's the biggest dam I know."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 38 year old Albertville, Alabama woman Sent in by Walter Trailercourt Convertible ALBERTVILLE, Ala. – An Alabama woman has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child after police say she let her 13 year old daughter ride in a cardboard box on top of their van. Albertville Police spokesman Sgt. Jamie Smith said the 37-year-old woman was arrested Sunday after police received a call about a minivan on a state highway with a child riding on top. Smith said the woman told police the box was too big to go inside the van, and that her daughter was inside the box to hold it down. Smith said the mother told officers it was safe because she had the box secured to the van with a clothes hanger. The 13-year-old daughter wasn't harmed and was turned over to a relative. A jail worker said the mother was out on bond Monday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Don Re: Netgear Dear Webby I read the Net Gear note this morning with interest as I also have a Net Gear router. I had a problem with getting it to even connect, called Net Gear for support ( somewhere in India I suppose). They had me on the line for 2 hours and were of no help. I finally called support at AT&T and about a minute into the conversation, she asked if I had gone into the setup and connected the "bridge". This I had not done, I followed her advice, did the setup as she explained it and viola, it worked fine and has since. Not sure if this is helpful, but I would definitely advise calling AT&T for support first. Don From Bug Let Hellen know that I had an AT&T problem a while back, it turned out not being the modem or the router, it was the power plug in box that you can only buy from AT&T because it's 2 wire, and no store carries it. ($10.00, I think + shipping ) Bug Dear Don and Bug Thanks for your hekpful tips! Yes, that would make a big difference. Some routers or ISPs need that bridge turned on, some don't. That used to be quite a hassle when traveling in the 90's. Have FUN! DearWebby
One night a wife found her husband standing over their newborn baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, and skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she whispered. "It's truly amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $49.95."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Small Amount of Toothpaste To save money on toothpaste for your family, follow the directions on the tube and not the advertising. You are supposed to only use a pea size amount of toothpaste, and not the overloaded brush that they show you in the ads. By Irene from Boston, MA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

At one game, a lady kept up a steady flow of threats at the umpire. No matter what was happening on the field, she kept yelling, "Kill the umpire!" This went on for an hour. Another patron said, "Lady, the umpire hasn't done anything wrong." The woman said, "He`s my husband and he came home last night with lipstick on his collar. KILL the umpire!!"
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By chance, John Smith witnessed a mugging in New York. About an hour later the cops arrived, and the officer in charge asked the witness his name. "John Smith," said Smith. "Cut the funny business," the cop barked sharply. "What's your real name?" "All right," said Smith, "put me down as Albert Einstein." "That's more like it," said the man in blue. "You can't fool ME with that John Smith stuff."
» China - Culture & Tradition
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Is Netgear and AT&T incompatible? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  October 6, 2009


If you look at life one way, there is always cause for alarm. --- Elizabeth Bowen Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours. --- Mark Twain
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks, was shock proof to 60 G, could be driven over and even dropped from a plane. Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard."
Arnie was sent to the principal's office for being over an hour late. He came into the office looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. "Our chickens have been disappearing." He said. "And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o'clock, Pa got me and Ol' Blue, our dog, and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on." He went on. "Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol' Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn't expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we've been up a-cleanin' and a-pluckin' more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school."
Thanks to dad for this picture: Did I hear a can opener ?
A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready -- all dressed up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat shoots back into the house. Not wanting their often-rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and said, "Sorry I took so long. Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with the mop to get her to come out!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel Bozarth, 33, of Tuckahoe Road, Williamstown, NJ showed up at court in a stolen car Going to court in someone else's car turned out to be a one-way ticket to jail for a Gloucester, N.J., man who appeared in Bucks County Court. Daniel Bozarth, 33, of Tuckahoe Road, Williamstown, was arrested Monday in Doylestown after he arrived for a court hearing in a vehicle without permission from the owner, police said. According to Doylestown police, Bozarth had been using the vehicle for about a month despite requests from the owner to return it. Bozarth was being held in Bucks County Prison under $40,000 bail on charges of theft by unlawful taking, receiving stolen property and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Is IE8 necessary? Dear Webby I'm wondering if you can answer a router question for me. I had a 2WIRE router that came with my DSL account through AT&T. It just died on me a couple weeks ago. AT&T wanted me to buy a new one through their AT&T store, but I couldn't go that long w/o access. So I went to my local Best Buy store and got a new Netgear router. Hooked it up ok, but now my wireless is painfully slow. It says I've got the same connection speed as the older one, but it's not translating when trying to work. Any thoughts? A friend said I may need to go in and change channels. Does that make sense? Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks, Jerry Dear Jerry I would contact Netgear Support and get them to figure it out. If it was the modem, then you would probably need an AT&T modem, but normally the router can be any brand. Have FUN! DearWebby
Jay and Nancy live in Chicago. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Nancy goes out and moves their car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Nancy goes out and moves their car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...", then the electric power goes out. Nancy says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Jay says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping the Space Over Cupboards Clean Cleaning the space over the cupboards where dust and grime accumulate can be some job to do. If you line the area with wax paper or paper towels, it makes the cleaning easier. I have done this for the last ten years and I have very little washing to do when I do my spring and fall cleaning. Try it, it's worth the trouble. By Raymonde from North Bay, Ontario Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery center often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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While shopping for vacation clothes, a husband and wife passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since she had even considered buying a bathing suit, so she sought her husband's advice. "What do you think?" she asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."
» The Night Sky Guy
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Is IE8 necessary? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  October 5, 2009


A computer will not make a good manager out of a bad manager. It makes a good manager better faster and a bad manager worse faster. --- Edward M Esber Manners are like the zero in arithmetic; they may not be much in themselves, but they are capable of adding a great deal to the value of everything else. --- Freya Stark
Two campers are walking through the forest when they suddenly encounter a grizzly bear! The bear rears up on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar. They're both frozen in their tracks. The first camper whispers, "I'm sure glad I wore my running shoes today." "It doesn't matter what kind of shoes you're wearing, you're not gonna outrun that bear," replies the second. "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun YOU," he answers, as he takes off.
A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster. The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering. The interviewer said, "Although you have a lot of the qualities we're looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you." "Oh, that's no problem," said the man. "If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour." "Show me," said the interviewer. So the man reached into his pocket. Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety - ribbed, flavoured, coloured and everything before he found the packet of aspirin. He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking. The interviewer said, "That's amazing, but I don't think we could employ someone who'd be womanizing all over the country." "Excuse me!" exclaimed the man, "I'm a happily married man, not a womanizer!" "Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?" asked the interviewer. The man replied, "Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin...?"
Thanks to dad for this picture: That is actually a 16 hive bee house.
David filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, yes, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," David thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. And this one's even better, because it locks."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dennis Charles Crisp Jr., 19, of Abilane, Texas Bringing dope to court Forgetting what was in his pockets, an Abilene man was just following normal procedure when he emptied the contents of his pockets into a small blue bowl to be scanned at the Taylor County Courthouse. Dennis Charles Crisp Jr., 19, and the deputy at the courthouse’s metal detector noticed at the same time as a small baggy of marijuana dropped in the bowl. “We both looked and realized he had dropped a small bag of marijuana,” said Deputy Mike Pippins with the Taylor County Sheriff’s Office. “He reached. I reached and actually grabbed his hand; he knew he was caught.” Pippins said he never let go of Crisp’s hand as he brought him around the X-ray machine and handcuffed him. He was taken to the Taylor County Jail where he was later released on a $750 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: Is IE8 necessary? Dear Webby I read the instructions you gave for blocking IE8, but my husband says I need to install it to keep up on the latest security that Microsoft has to offer. What's your opinion? Thanks for your daily uplift! Helen Dear Helen IE6 works just fine, and gets all the security updates too. Add to that, more than 50% of the people have already switched to FireFox. The curve is getting steeper, and it looks like it will be 60% by Halloween. You can run FireFox and let John run IE8. After a day of FireFox on your machine, you won't give a hoot what version of IE is on it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Bob's mother is a cleaning fanatic. One Saturday she told him and his brother to go down to the playroom and straighten it up. They had had a party there the previous evening, and she was none too happy about the mess. As she watched them work, it was clear that she was completely dissatisfied with their cleaning efforts and she let them know it. Finally Bob's brother, exasperated with having to do it all over, reached for a broom and asked his mom, "Can I use this, or were you planning to go somewhere?" -------- If he had said that to MY mother, he would have had to eat that broom, after it had gotten busted into little bitty pieces around his head.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thrifty Tip: Employ Ingenuity Thinking about it, it seems to me that the greatest thrifty tip is employing ingenuity! If you have a household problem, look at the conventional way of tackling it (which probably costs lots of money), and then try to turn it around to a more frugal option. Usually it involves being crafty and doing things yourself, but it is also usual that the outcome is much more satisfactory! By Pam from Los Angeles Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Mary was married to Charlie, a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. "That," he declared, "is woman's work!" One evening, Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charlie had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office. "How did it work out?" they asked. Mary said, "Charlie even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed my evening." "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know. "It didn't work out," Mary said. "Charlie was too tired."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Not a joke, but so good I just have to share it again: A grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, "I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one." The grandson asked him, "Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?" The grandfather answered, "The one I feed."
» Out of this world
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Acai Berry Scam 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  October 4, 2009


"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla." ---Jim Bishop
An old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes, I can't see very well these days." The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, but I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. The man said, "Well, my wife ain't home. She's gone down to the creek to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got." The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn't interested. Then the man spotted a mirror and said, "What's that?" Before the peddler could tell him it was a mirror, the old man picked it up and said, "My God, how'd you get a picture of my Pappy?" The old man was so happy, he traded his wife's best pitcher for it. The peddler left before the wife came back and spoiled his sale. The old man was worried that his wife would be mad at him for trading her best pitcher, so he hid the mirror in the barn behind some boxes of junk. He would go out to the barn 2 or 3 times a day to look at the "picture" and eventually the wife got suspicious. One day she got fed up and after he retired for the night, she went out to the barn. She saw the mirror behind the boxes, picked it up and said, "So, this is the hussy he's been foolin' around with! Wonder why he picked one that ugly?"
Thanks to Dave for this picture: They should invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes!
The census taker knocked on Donna's door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked. "Certainly," he replied "Well, I'm the same age as they are," she snapped. "As old as the Hills," he wrote on his form.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Jones, 31, of Rochester, Wisconsin Man Fakes Accident To Avoid Ticket ROCHESTER - The assistant fire chief is downright angry. He says instead of pulling out his license and registration- a man pulled out his cell phone to call in a fake crash "There's a lady laying in a ditch holding her head," Christopher Jones is heard saying on 911 tapes. "Did you stop?" asks the dispatcher. "No I kept going. There was a car behind me" Rochester Assistant Fire Chief Jack Bierman says, "When a call goes out we think the worst right away and respond accordingly." Bierman and 14 EMTs rushed to the scene but nothing was there. "We thought maybe the caller got his directions wrong," Bierman said. Deputies say that Jones made it all up. The 31-year-old had been pulled over for speeding. Investigators think he called 911 hoping it would distract the deputy. "I was a little angry that 14 of my members were needlessly put in harm's way," says Bierman. Jones was also carrying a fake sheriff's department ID card and badge. He ended up with the ticket and five other charges. He's due in court next month when they plan to throw the book at him.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Johnny Re: Berry scam Dear Webby The weight loss berry and colon cleanser, does the same thing, but they hit you for over a hundred dollars for the free trail. I know this, because I got took. Johnny Dear Johnny All the stuff that you see both in spam AND on web sites, is a scam. Legitimate companies don't spam. My advice is to stay as far as possible away from anything that is also mentioned in spam.. Have FUN! DearWebby
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000. We are going to decide this case solely on its merits, and then both of you will go to jail."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mismatched Sock Solutions Do you ever wonder what happens to the socks that go in a pair and come out a single? Well, instead of doing the sock puppet route, I use them for other things. Fill with Barley and tie the tube area in a knot. Freeze or microwave for sore muscles. When the weather outside is cold, I wear them under my matching socks for extra warmth. No one knows and they work great! By Sandra from Salem, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A fifth grader looked down, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem, Carol? I hope it's not homework again." "Well, uh, yes it is," replied Carol. "I made my homework paper into a paper airplane." "Carol, that wasn't a very bright thing to do," said the teacher, "but this once, I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in." "Oh, but that won't work," said Carol, looking even sadder. "You see, Bobby hijacked the plane, and handed it in as HIS homework!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A beautiful woman boarded a jet and took a seat in the first class section. The flight attendant checked her ticket and said "You're in the wrong section. This ticket is for coach. You'll have to move." The woman replied, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going home to Miami." The attendant called for the co-pilot who checked her ticket and also told her she had to move. Again she replied,"I'm blond, I'm beautiful and I'm going home to Miami." So they told the captain. He just laughed and said she sounded like his wife and that it was no problem. He went to her seat and whispered something into her ear. She instantly got up and moved back to coach. "Captain, what did you say to get her to move?" asked the flight attendant. The captain replied, "I told her that the first class section doesn't land in Miami."
» Out of this world
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Dear Webby: White Teeth Scam 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  October 3, 2009


Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment." --- Barry LePatner Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand. --- Leo Durocher I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed. --- Bruce Lee
The 120 instructional videos for $7 total for the bundle are still available at http://webby.com/120 but not much longer!
After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?"
At a family get together, a young boy of about 6 years of age asks his father, "What does fornication mean?" The dad is freaked out by the question and demands to know, "Where did you hear a word like that?" "From Uncle Charlie," responds the son. Dad charges off to confront his brother. Charlie doesn't have a clue what the problem is and explains that all he said was, "For-an-occasion like this I don't mind driving all the way up the valley."

For three solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grand-children. She had even produced a plastic, foldout photo album of all nine of them. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation and said, "Oh, I've done all the talking. I am so sorry. I know you certainly must have something to say. Please, forgive me. You go ahead now. Tell me . . . what do you think of my grandchildren?" His answer was: "Solly, no speeka da Anglees."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Terrance McCoy, 24 in Pontiac, Michigan 2 years for swiping the date's car PONTIAC, Mich. (AP) - A Detroit man has been sentenced to at least two years in prison for stealing a woman's car after skipping out on the check during their first date. Twenty-four-year-old Terrance McCoy was sentenced Friday in Oakland County Circuit Court to two to 10 years in prison. McCoy pleaded no contest Sept. 18 to unlawfully driving away a vehicle. A no-contest plea is not an admission of guilt but is treated as a conviction at sentencing. Police say McCoy dined with the 27-year-old Southfield woman on April 24 at a restaurant in Ferndale. The woman told investigators McCoy said he forgot his wallet in her car and asked for the keys. Police say McCoy then took off in the car.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wanda Re: White Teeth scam Dear Webby I am sure you have seen those white teeth ads on the net, and now even in the spam. The ads claim a mother in a town near you invented a free or under $10 method for getting white teeth. This "mother" is always in a town near where you are, no matter how far and fast you travel. Obviously the name of the town is fake and just a browser gimmic, like the ones that look up your time. Personally, I don't go any further, once I know they have deliberately lied to me, but some of my friends believe their claims are real. What is your take on that? Wanda Dear Wanda It is just a scam. Spammers get commissions for every sheep they send to the scammers. The scammers offer a free sample, then once they have brainwashed you into trusting them, they tell you that you have to pay $2.95 shipping. With your credit card, of course. So you authorize $2.95 and give them your numbers and security code. Then on next page, the one that shows the receipt, the amount has grown to $12.90 or something like that. There is, of course, no phone number or email address to complain to, but some people found a chat link and were able to cancel everything by threatening dire consequences. Others apparently got stuck with automatically recurring $80+ charges every month. My advice is to stay as far as possible away from that scam. By the way, white teeth only look good on pictures. In real life they look phoney and vain. You get a lot more positive attention, if you open an extra button on your blouse or shirt. Have FUN! DearWebby
A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats aroond here?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A student essay stated: "The girl tumbled down the stairs and lay prostitute at the bottom." "In the margin of the paper, the professor commented: "My dear sir, you must learn to distinguish between a fallen woman and one who has merely slipped.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry- cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are fifteen dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it five more times and we can pay the phone bill!"
» Out of this world
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Dear Webby: Email with no FROM address 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  October 2, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. --- Mark Twain
Shirley had 2 two red ears and went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a blouse and the phone rang -- but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?" "The guy called back and asked what the screaming and cussing was all about."
Sherlock Holmes : "Ah Watson, I see you are wearing your winter underwear." Watson : "Marvelous, Holmes, marvelous! How did you ever deduce that!" Sherlock Holmes : "That's elementary, my dear Watson, you've forgotten to put on your trousers."

My ex-father-in-law walked in the other day... and said, "Hey, if you keep doing that, it will make you go blind!" So I replied, "Hey Joe........ you are talking to the mop, I'm over here at the computer."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a dopey bankrobber in Hillsborough, Oregon Writing too messy for holdup HILLSBORO, Ore. -- Police say a bank robbery attempt in Hillsboro failed after a teller told the woman, who handed her a threatening note, that she couldn't read the handwriting. According to police, a 30-year-old woman walked into a Wells Fargo bank branch Wednesday and handed a teller a note that said, "Need $300 or I'll kill you. I'm serious." The teller told the woman she couldn't read the writing. While the woman stepped away to rewrite her note on a bank slip, the teller hit a silent alarm and the bank manager intervened, asking the woman how he could help her. Police and FBI agents soon arrived and arrested the woman; police say she was under the influence of drugs.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ulli Re: No visible FROM address on email Dear Webby I frequently get emails that have nothing in the FROM field. So far I haven't opened them. Are they safe or what's the story with them? Thanks Ulli Dear Ulli Just dump them. If somebody is so ashamed of themselves, that they hide their name and address, then they are up to no good. if you have MailWasher, then you can make a filter to dump that type of email without even showing it in the list of mails to download.: If the From field does not contain"@" or not "." then hide the message from the messages list, and automatically (without warning or notification) delete the message. Looks complicated, but is actually quite easy. You pull down "FROM", pull down "does not contain" type in @ pull down "FROM" type in a period, just in case some bozo writes "at" instead of @ and then put checkmarks on all that you want to happen to that email. I use that combination of actions, which is the equivalent of "murder it in the dark, unseen by anybody" for any kind of obvious garbage. If I am not going to open or read it anyway, there is no point in downloading it or cluttering up the list of mails. It can be a lot of fun crafting filters like that. After a while you build a nice arsenal and your mail gets cleaner and leaner every time you add a filter. Have FUN! DearWebby
Little Johnny came home from school one day and said, "Mom, the teacher asked me today if I had any brothers or sisters." "And what did she say when you told her you were an only child?" his mom asked. And Little Johnny said, "Well, she just let out a deep breath and said, 'Thank goodness'."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Up Ripe Bananas I buy bananas that the store is trying to get rid of for cheap, because they are spotted and turning brown. They are fine on the inside, maybe just not as firm as most people like. I freeze these, or bananas I've let get too ripe in my own kitchen. When I have lots of them, I slice into circles and freeze on several cookie sheets, which I've lined with saran wrap or waxed paper. They make the best smoothies or 'ice cream'. By Cyndi from Angwin, CA Over-ripe bananas actually have a much better and stronger flavor. You can peel and freeze them, and some day add them to a cake or muffins for extra flavor and moisture. Preferably freeze them in rigid containers, not ziplock baggies, that interlock and require you to burgle your freezer with a crowbar. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder. "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Good Grief!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it's going to take me to find a lawyer?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Young Aaron Finkelstein came home in great excitement, saying, "Father! Father! On the way back from school, I ran home behind the bus all the way and saved the fifty-cent bus fare." The father replied by slapping the son on the cheek as he shouted, "Spendthrift! Why didn't you run behind a cab and save $5.00?"
» Road Trip
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Dear Webby: : Confirmed Opt-In problem for Earthlink users 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 1, 2009

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. --- Douglas Adams
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' station saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too...."
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck, and her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing. The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes. The next day, the church secretary, Mary, called Little Johnny's mother and said, "Jane, your beans were delicious as usual, but what did you put in them this time?" Jane replied, "Nothing new, why do you ask?" "Well," said Mary, "this morning I bent over to feed the cat and shot the canary."
Above high water
"Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key." "Welcome to hell, here's your harp." Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A: Lawnmowers can be tuned.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Billy Ray Hale, 21 of Jonesborough, Tennessee Police Bonanza JONESBOROUGH, Tenn. — Washington County authorities say a motorcyclist riding down the road without a helmet led to a series of discoveries and three arrests. The Johnson City Press reports that when officers stopped 21-year-old Billy Ray Hale outside his home on Tuesday, they found he wasn't alone. Hale also had an 18-month-old baby on board, also without a helmet. As they wrote him up for reckless endangerment, evading arrest and driving on a suspended license, officers learned another man at the home was a fugitive from North Carolina. They arrested him as well. But before the officers could leave, they spotted a third man breaking into a nearby barn. So they arrested him, too.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Earthlink Re: Challenge-response I have had an Earthlink account since the days when Earthlink's current "support" staff was still in diapers, mostly just for traveling and as a back-up for when my DSL is down. It is rather sad. Earthlink used to be such a good company. I don't have a problem with my own Earthlink account, but a lot of Earthlink users have problems wth receiving postcards or subscribing to newsletters. They use an optional Challenge-Response system, that is not adequately explained to them, and don't get their mail. For example, let's say Betty-Sue wants to subscribe to her curch newsletter, a prim and proper newsletter that obbeys the law according to the CANSPAM act and sends an email to her to verify that she actually wants the curch newsletter, and was not secretly subscribed by a pastor, who wants to increase the size of his list. Well, poor ol Betty-Sue never gets that request to authorize, because the Earthlink Challenge-Response system sends an email to the newsletter program, expecting it to fill out a page full of stupid questions. Naturally, the newsletter program, which was expecting a response from Betty-Sue, not from whitedove3@earthlink.net, considers that a moron malfunction, and dumps it. It . The request to authorize is sent by an auto-responder, and any response to an auto-responder by another auto-responder would lead to a loop, that could escalate to bring the Internet down, if it was not dumped. That is pretty basic and well understood by all programmers, except those at Earthlink. So I wrote to Earthlink support about it. Naturally, nobody there knows how to read email, and an auto-responder told me to try their support chat. After wasting time getting into a chat written for Netscape and telling me to use Netscape or IE, - yeah, I do still remember the good old days of Netscape -, I finally got connected to one of their pet Taliban. I asked him if he knew what Double-Opt-In or Confirmed Opt in meant and was all about. He had aboslutely no clue. He didn't even know if that was a cave or edible. So I patiently explained it to him, using small words and short sentences, but I doubt that he understood. He didn't know which canned response to paste. He simply could not understand that it was not me, who had a problem, but that Earthlink had to tell their users to FIRST whitelist, then subscribe, NOT first subscribe and then complain, that they don't get what they wanted to subscribe to. So, if you have friends on Earthlink, please explain the Confirmed Opt-In system to them. Have FUN! DearWebby
A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up with a puzzled look and said, "Mom, thefe are MY feet!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Capping a Caulk Tube When cutting the top off a tube of caulking, save the end piece. When you are finished using the caulking, turn the piece around and insert into the tube hole. You have a perfect cap and no more dried out caulking. By Connie from Evansville, IN A large lag screw doesn't get spit out when the flexible caulk expands and contracts with temperature changes and keeps the caulk usable much longer. DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse, put the green mud-pack on her face, the teeth-whitening cartridge in her mouth and proceeded to wash her hair and stick curlers into it. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel over her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that monfter ?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Jimmie and Johnnie were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "I know, but Gramma is!"
» Another Road Trip
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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