Which spreadsheet is best? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, October 21, 2010
The US Dollar is really taking a beating. I deposited some checks
from US clients at the bak, and got just 91 cents Canadian per 
US Dollar. Ouch! 
Let's hope the November 2 election will restore some hope and 
confidence in the US economy! If this slide continues, it is 
going to be an expensive winter for many of you. Better
stock up, if you can!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know. --- Ambrose Bierce "Ignorance once dispelled is difficult to reestablish." --- Laurence J. Peter Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying. --- Ronald Reagan "Vegetarians don't live longer, they just look older." --- Socratex
Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure she'd have no trouble finding a new position, because of the nursing shortage in her area. She e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers and attached her resume to each one. Two weeks later, Catherine was dismayed and bewildered that she had not received even one request for an interview. Finally she received a message from a prospective employer that explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else. It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, how- ever, want to thank you for the sausage lasagna recipe."
Ray had just reached his 175th birthday last week. Surrounded by reporters, he was asked, "Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to live to be 175?" Ray answered, "It was easy. I just never argue with anyone." A reporter shot back, "That's crazy. It had to be something else -- diet, meditation, or *something*. Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 175 years!" The old fella stared hard at the reporter for several seconds. Then he shrugged. "Hmmm. Maybe you're right."
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Thanks to Beetle for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Dear Webby, A friend was asked to take care of the Sattley Cash Store and Post Office for a week. He invited me to assist. When standing at the counter in the store, one would turn around and help the post office customer. Sattley,Ca is northwest of Truckee,Ca. Take Care Beetle
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joel Roth, 65, of Ponte Vedra, Florida Driver ran amok JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- A Ponte Vedra Beach man is accused of ramming several cars Saturday night at the Beaches with witnesses saying the driver's vehicle topped speeds of 90 miles per hour. Joel Roth, 65, is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Roth told investigators following his arrest, "I thought I was God and could do anything in the world. When asked why he rammed all of the vehicles, Roth responded, "I thought I was the smartest guy in the world." Altogether five vehicles were rammed in separate incidents in Jacksonville Beach, Neptune Beach and Jacksonville. Staley Street, who was one of the victims, told police she believed the suspect was trying to kill her. "He came up from nowhere. I looked in my rear view for a split second I saw headlights like they were almost in my trunk. And then we went flying and then we continued to get smashed into over and over again," said Street who was on J. Turner Butler along with a roommate Saturday night. Police reports said at least one person sustained injuries. Roth was arrested in Atlantic Beach after police say he hit three cars on 3rd Street after exiting the expressway.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Millie Re: Which Spreadsheet is best? Dear Webby, There are lots of different spreadsheets available.Which one is best, and still affordable? Millie Dear Millie The best one is the one you are used to. VisiCalc was the first one, and ever since then, companies that copied the concept, have sued each other for copyright infringement. First there was the war between Lotus 123 and Quattro, then Microsoft entered the fray with Excel, and so on. The result was that each company did their own cosmetic changes to look a bit different. In Quattro, for example, to pull in the data from cell B10, you use +B10 In Excel you use =B10 Yeah, little girls tying the ribbon in their hair differently. Excel is in Microsoft Office and about as popular as Outlook Express, because it comes pre-loaded as a trial sample with every Windows machine. Microsoft Office is $279 Quattro is in Corel Office (formerly WordPerfect Office). The newest version of Corel Office is $259 You can usually pick up a previous version of Corel Office on eBay for $15 - $50. The changes between versions are not really worth mentioning. Calc in Open Office is free, and it can pick up files from Excel and from Quattro, and also write them in those formats. Even if a teacher gets a kickback from the local Microsoft vendor and insists on Excel, students can use the free Open Office Calc, and save their homework in Excel format. You can guess what a lot of students are using nowadays! $279 buys an awful lot of beer, ahem I mean school books. The same goes for industry and commerce. They don't switch suddenly, but whenever they need to replace machines, they put Open Office onto the new machines. Europe is leading in that, possibly because they replace machines more frequently, but the same trend is becoming noticeable here too. Then there are the on-line spreadsheets like Google Spreadsheets. They are still a bit basic and slow, but in five years will be quite competitive. For right now, especially since cost seems to be a consideration factor, I would recommend the free Open Office Calc for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Once upon a time,.... Margaret Thatcher and her Cabinet were meeting over lunch to discuss an important bit of impending legislation. "And what will you have, Madam?" asked the waiter, coming over with his notepad. "I'll have the Beef Wellington," replied the Prime Minister promptly, eager to get on with the business at hand. "And, for the vegetables?" continued the waiter politely. Thatcher replied briskly, "They'll have the same."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing Mylar Balloons I have a few ideas for the shiny metallic-looking Mylar balloons that would otherwise go to a landfill: more.... (long article) http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love-making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. Then he said, "Look. Let's both get on top and try." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said, "Zoo or no zoo, both on top, THAT I gotta see!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man walks into a bar with a duck and a big bisquit tin. He sets the duck on top of the biscuit box on the bar and the duck begins dancing. The barman finds this rather interesting, as do the rest of the patrons in the bar. They all gather around the duck and watch it for a long time. While everyone is watching the duck dance, they buy more drinks from the bar. By the end of the night, the bar is full of people watching this amazing duck, still dancing and letting out an odd quack now and again. The barman realizes that he hasn't had business this good in a long time. Business is so good, in fact, that he offers to buy the duck from the man. The man tells the bartender that he can have the duck for 500 pounds. The barman thinks it is a bit expensive, but agrees to buy the duck anyway. After selling the duck, the man goes home, leaving a crowded pub watching his dancing duck. Later that night, the man gets a telephone call from the barman, who exclaims that the duck is a great success and that he has earned his money back in the amount of drinks he has sold. Then the barman says, "There is one thing, though. How do you get the duck to stop dancing?" And the man says, "Oh, it's simple. Just take the lid of the biscuit box and blow out the candle."

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British Newspapers 

True Reports from British life ........!!!

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, 'We agree it was rather high for the time of year.
It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.

(The Daily Telegraph)

Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear.
When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.

(The Manchester Evening News)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description.
It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like.

(The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster.
A coast guard spokesman commented, 'This sort of thing is all too common'.

(The Times)

At the height of the gale, the harbour master radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed.
He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

(Aberdeen Evening Express)

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue , Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden.
He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled - 'He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.''

(Bournemouth Evening Echo)



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What are spreadsheets? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, October 20, 2010

We had another beautiful fall day, and the wind picked up
quite nicely. For a while I watched the leaves from the hills
to the West of us go by, on their way East towards Ontario.
Most will probably get shredded on the way, and fertilize 
some field somewhere on the prairies. The wind will keep
going, and Ontario can expect an "Alberta Clipper" in about
five days.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


The difference between truth and fiction: fiction has to make sense. ---Mark Twain Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. --- Mark Twain Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. --- Fletcher Knebel
An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other in hell one day. "My lord," the Irishman exclaimed, "What are you doing here?" The landowner sighed. "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine. But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?" "For fathering that playboy son of yours," the Irishman replied.
Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?" "No, she sure didn't," sobbed Jeff. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out." "Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father. "More or less, but maybe I got it mixed up a bit," Jeff groaned. "I said, 'My Dear, you have a face that would stop a clock'!"
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Rare Poinciana tree
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Noemi Duchene, 44 and Luis Del Castillo, 45 in El Paso, Texas Trash bag clad robber tries to hold up jewelry store while getaway wheelchair waits outside Two people are in police custody following an unbelievable attempted jewelry store heist in El Paso, Texas. Security camera footage shows 44-year-old Noemi Duchene and 45-year-old Luis Del Castillo arrive outside of Estate & New Jewelry late Tuesday morning with Del Castillo pushing Duchene in her wheelchair. Duchene then gets out of her chair, covers her head and upper body with a large black trash bag and enters the jewelry store while Del Castillo waits with the chair. Once inside Duchene pulls a kitchen knife and demands "everything". Store owner Linda Bradely decided not to comply and drew a stun gun in response. "We're chasing each other around like keystone cops," Bradely recalls. "I knew I could outrun her because she was obviously not very quick." A store customer eventually tackled Duchene and held her until police arrived. Del Castillo was still waiting outside with the wheelchair and was also arrested. Investigators say the pair live in an apartment across the street from the jewelry store.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Olga Re: Spreadsheet Mystery Dear Webby, What you wrote about spreadsheet tricks is awesome. But at the moment, I don't even know what a spreadsheet is. Can you please start at the beginning, explain what it is and how to use it? Just put five years of college into a couple of paragraphs, like you usually do. Thanks Olga Dear Olga I should have stayed in the paid education system. I'd be eating meat instead of oat meal. Spreadsheets are like graph paper. The horizontal rows are nubered from the top down, the vertical columns have letters from left to right. Each rectangle in the graph paper is called a cell and has an "Address". The top left corner cell is A1. The cell to the right of it is B1. At the right, after Z comes AA, AB, AC and so on. After AZ comes BA, BB, BC, and so on. The cell below A1 is A2, the one below that is A3, and so on. The row numbers and column letters are shown in the margin. You can write text, numbers or formulas into any cell. Lets say you write into A1: Name, into B1: Hours into C1: Wage Then into A2 to A10 write a bunch of names, one per cell. Into C2 to C10 you write the hourly wages of those people. Now comes the fun part! Into D1 write Gross, and into D2 write =+B2*C2 Hit ENTER and then copy C2 and paste it all the way down to C10. The hard part is done. Now simply enter numbers into the B (Hours) column. When you do, their gross wage, before deductions, appears in Column D. Naturally, if you were doing payroll, you would have additional columns for the deductions. This is just to illustrate the concept. Now, below D10 write into D11: ======= and into D12: =SUM(D2:D10) Hit ENTER, and it shows the total sum of all the wages in that column. Now go to the right of that, into E12 amd write: =D12 That shows the same number as in D12 Now imagine you copied that whole effort from A1 to E12, and pasted it 52 times down th sheet for 52 weeks. At the bottom of all that, below the last item in the E column, do a sum of the E column, and it shows you the annual total. If you left a blank row between each week, that sum would be in E574. Go up to the top, and into cell F1 write: =E574 Now, whenever you enter hours anywhere, in any week, the annual total shown in F1 changes. Whenever you do anything in a spreadsheet, it recalculates everything and updates all results. I kept it simple to just show the concept. There is almost no limit to what you can do with a spreadsheet. You could for example use an IF formula. IF the wage is below a certain number, use this tax rate, else use that. Or you could calculate overtime. IF the weekly hours are over 40, then take the hours over 40 and multiply the by 1.5 and add those to 40. Speadsheets are also used to play with text. Here is an actual example from my invoicing spreadsheet: =CONCATENATE("Dear ",K92,"! Thank you for your payment of $",S92," on "&TEXT(R92, "mmmm dd, yyyy")," for Invoice #",O92,". Your account has been updated and your invoice at http://clients.webby.com/inv/",I92," has been marked paid. Thank you for being a valued client!") Instead of K92, the spreadsheet of course shows whatever name is typed in that cell. The same goes for all the other cell references. Spreadsheets are pretty neat magic and are ideal for automating any number or text manipulation. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A big executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. Don't care what I say, no matter what silly excuse I will have to try and sleep more, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy whom I kicked off the train in Buffalo!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Seasonal Flag Care and Tips I like to display one of the larger decorative banners on the flagpole on my porch for all the seasons, holidays and occasions. They're nylon, nearly indestructible, and can be washed in the washer when they get dusty. But after a season or two (especially the summer ones), they become faded and the vibrant colours aren't as nice. Here are a few idea for dealing with your seasonal banners: http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Virginia was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right?" Brent asked. "They talk funny." "Everybody talks in different ways," she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An old fellow came into the hospital almost dying due to an infected gallbladder. After what seemed aeons of tests and preparations, the gall bladder surgeon removed the gall bladder without any fuss or problem and had the patient sent up to the post-op ward. The charge nurse there insisted that all patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered, even though the head nurse had to raise her mighty voice, once, and keep her stern gaze on him the first three days as two student nurses half carried, half dragged him up and down the hallway. On the fifth day they were able to walk him hangin on to only one nurse, and on the tenth day the nurse noticed that the reason he was hanging on now had not much to do with balance and support any more, especially when walking the trails on the roof garden with Linda After two weeks the patient was ready to go home. His family came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father, telling him he was a miracle worker. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and that they had been lucky to get him into the hospital time. "Oh no,doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Our father hasn't walked in over ten years!"

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Different scales in a spreadsheet graph 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, October 19, 2010
We had a beautiful, warm fall day today. There is still some
snow in the shady spots, but it was warm enough for short 
sleeves in the sun. Even now, at 2 am it is only around Zero
(32 F)

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"You can often measure a person by the size of his dream." --- Robert H. Schuller "A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." --- John Barrymore I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. --- Galileo Galilei
During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the Shema prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up... The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn't know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a house-bound 98 year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was, so he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation. The one whose followers stood during Shema said to the old man, "Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?" The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." The one whose followers sat asked, "Is the tradition to sit during Shema?" The old man answered, "No, that is not the tradition." Then the rabbi said to the old man, "The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand..." The old man interrupted, exclaiming, "THAT is the tradition!"
At one point in my life I had considered joining the Baptist Church. For those of you who don't know, the Baptists practice total body immersion to baptize a person. Luckily I even knew a minister in that faith, having once dated his daughter, and I asked him if he would consider performing the service. He paused a minute or two, gave me a long thoughtful look and said, "Yes,....I could do it, if you're serious about this. However, just a quick dipping won't do it for you. We'll have to find a deep place to anchor you overnight."
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
Click through the picture to the large version. Can't do a thing with it until it dries!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Albert Y.M. Huang, 35, San Gabriel, CA Mayor Charged with Assault, Robbery, for Purse-Snatching SAN GABRIEL, Calif. (CBS/AP) A prominent resident of San Gabriel, Calif. in suburban Los Angeles was early arrested Friday after he allegedly snatched a woman's purse and took her for a wild ride, clinging to his sport utility vehicle. That prominent resident is the mayor. San Gabriel police say Mayor Albert Y.M. Huang was booked in jail for investigation of felony assault, felony robbery and misdemeanor battery. Police say the 35-year-old Huang was in a parking lot arguing with the woman about money, when he grabbed her purse and got into his SUV. Investigators say the woman was standing on the running board and reaching through the passenger window when Mayor Huang sped away, reaching speeds of 45 mph for more than a quarter-mile.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellen Re: Different scales on spreadsheet graphs Dear Webby, I need to combine temperature, barometric pressure and humidity in one graph, but because the numbers are so totally different, it makes a huge graph with the lines way too far apart. How do I get them all reasonably in the center? Is there a way to adjust the scale of each series with Excel? Thanks Ellen Dear Ellen On a few spreadsheets, not Excel, you can adjust the scale, but it is quite a hassle. Here is a better way to accomplish that. Lets say you got the page set for a fixed header. Pick three cells in that some way over to te right of the labeled columns, for example T1,U1,V1. If you want to shift the temperature up by 35, put 35 into T1 and if you want to make the barometric pressure number 15 times smaller, put 15 into V1. Put some resaonably average dummy numbers into the first row (2). Now add a new column after the temperature column, let's say temperature is in column C, and in the top cell below the dummy row (D3), put: =if(C3<>"",C3+$T$1, C2+$T$1) That formula looks to see if you have a temperature listed in C3. If you do, it adds whatever you got in T1. $T$1 ensures, that the formula ALWAYS looks it up at that fixed location, not a location relative to the formula. If there is no temperature in C3, it takes the previous reading from C2. That produces a neat flat line from the last reading to the right end of the graph, instead of nothing. Let's say humidity is in column E, and Pressure in column G Put this formula into H3: =if(G3<>"",G3/$V$1, G2/$V$1) Here the formula takes the pressure reading and divides it by whatever is in V1 Copy and paste the formulas down their respective columns a few hundred rows. Now set the graph to take the generated temperature numbers from column D instead of the raw numer from column C and for the humidity, use the column H. If the lines in the graph are still too far apart, play with the "fudge" numbers in T1, and V1. For a finishing touch, narrow the generated columns D and H and make them black on black, so that you don't accidentally punch readings into them. You COULD drag them way over to the right, out of sight, but usuall narrowing them to one character and making them black on black protects them well enough and makes it easier to understand the process a few years later. Once you get the hang of fudging numbers like that, you can call yourself a climate scientist. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The town founder had passed away and the whole town turned out, as did his family who arrived from all over the globe. This threw the mortuary into an uproar. They had some employees doing two or three jobs and others switching jobs to get everything done. After the chapel services, all the members of the funeral party piled into the different cars for the drive to the cemetery. The procession was very long, and one group of family members, not knowing their way, wondered how much further it would be and if it was worth lighting up a smoke. The patriarch tapped the driver on the shoulder, and asked "Pardon me....." The driver let out a scream and turned with a grimace of horror to see who had tapped him. In doing so, he drove the car into the ditch and through a small greenhouse, almost overturning it. After calming everyone down, the driver somberly explained, "I'm so sorry for what happened, but you see, I usually drive the hearse."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Lettuce Fresh I buy romaine lettuce when it is on sale, and have found a way to keep it fresh and crisp for up to 4 weeks. Wash your romaine and core it when you get home from the supermarket. Put it in a colander to drain, then take a large plastic container and line it with enough paper towel to keep the lettuce dry. Layer lettuce and paper towel, and put a sheet of paper towel on top. Close the lid tight and this will keep like new for 4 weeks. Open and close as often as you wish. As long as you put the top on tight, you will always have fresh romaine! I discovered this by accident while doing an ahead of time family meal. When my family found out how long it lasted they were very eager to use the tip as well. This works equally as well for any type of grapes. Much less waste and more savings to be had! Source: My own discovery. By Deborah from East Margaree http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Don't get too carried away with the drying! With lettuce, chard, kale, cabbage, even celery, it is the moisture, that keeps them firm and tasty. I do NOT like limp celery or salad, so I sprinkle some water onto the paper towel, toss the wet greens onto it, fold the damp paper towel ove it, stuff it into a zip-lock bag, and zip it after squishing most of the air out. I don't know if it keeps significantly longer than with dry paper towel, but I DO know it stays firm and tasty longer. Have FUN! DearWebby If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, asked fearfully, "That's interesting. How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

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Pictures need to be turned on 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, October 18, 2010
We had thick hoar frost yesterday morning, and if it had been 
sunny, I would have run around as fast as the local politicians
on their last day of campaigning, to snap pictures. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie "The Way We Were" twice... voluntarily. --- Rita Rudner Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better. --- John Updike
The happy couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. The society reporter asked, "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?" "Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," the husband replied. "Murder sometimes," the wife offered, "but never divorce."
Have you heard about the new alcoholic beverage that's on the market now? It's called Bourbon Renewal. After a few drinks your old neighborhood starts to look a lot better.
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Burglars in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin Wis. woman finds stolen dress, solves burglariest CHIPPEWA FALLS, Wis. (AP) - Wisconsin police say a 25-year-old woman's search for her stolen wedding dress helped solve several other burglaries as well. After a storage unit owner called Alena Gadke of Chippewa Falls on Oct. 8 to tell her of some break-ins, Gadke went there and noticed her wedding dress was gone. Police assured her they would find the thieves, but Gadke was impatient. That night she went to Craigslist and found her dress. She says she traded 40 texts and voice messages with the seller, who kept changing the time and location to meet. Gadke alerted police and the next day she met the seller in a Chippewa Falls parking lot, where police arrested the 16-year-old girl. That led police to a 17-year-old boy and a 23-year-old man, who confessed to multiple thefts.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: Pictures need individual clicks Dear Webby, Thank you so much for all your expert advice on the computer and also the beautiful pictures and lets not forget the jokes. An over all great letter Now for my question , is there any way to bring the pictures in when I open your newsletter without having to go up to the bar and click on view then click on blocked imagines? You are very knowledged in the computer area. Shirley Dear Shirley That sounds like you are using an email program, that has the default set to hide pictures. You might be able to find that setting in that email program's preferences, if not, ask Uniontel support about how to show the pictures by default. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A Preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead donkey in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the Preacher to the health department. They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor. Now the Preacher knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the Preacher called him anyway. The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant & rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me any way? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?" The preacher paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his response. He was led to say, "Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always notify the next of kin first, since they get to decide what kind of burial they will pay for!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stop Children From Arguing I have a tip for children bickering. I have passed this tip along and had reports back at how amazing the results. I used this until my children were grown and now my grandkids get a dose. Have the 2 kids that are bickering, either sit on the couch facing each other or stand facing each other with the tip of their noses touching for a set amount of time (not as long as time out). Who gets the front seat? No problem but they have to sit with their noses touching. My daughter and son both agree that they would refrain from arguing because they did not want to have to stand or sit that way. Most of the time giggling would happen before the time was up and they were friends again. By Notwrong from FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, where as women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for awhile and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He replied, "What?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years." "That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."

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Site change warning 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, October 17, 2010
Most of the snow has melted, but it is definitely time to winterize
everything. I even lit the pilot light on the natural gas furnace
today. By the way, did you know that the best lighter for hard 
to reach places is a strand of spaghetti or spaghettini?
Works every time on the first try.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood. --- General George S. Patton
A man and wife were both in an Internet Business, but it was the husband who truly lived, ate and breathed computers. His wife finally realized how bad it gotten when one day she was scratching his back, and hesaid "No, not there. Scroll down a little."
A drill sergeant escorted new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!" Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Sir!"
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jimmy Honeycutt, 26 and Stephanie McDole, 27 in Pawtucket, RI Robber had checklist of targets in pocket PAWTUCKET, R.I. (AP) - Police in Rhode Island trying to stop a string of robberies got a big break when they found a key piece of evidence - an alleged robber's checklist of targets. Jimmy Honeycutt and his girlfriend Stephanie McDole were arrested Wednesday after Pawtucket police found torn pages from a phone book in Honeycutt's pocket. Asterisks were marked next to some of the businesses that were robbed this month. Detectives pulled over the pair because their car matched the description of a vehicle wanted in connection with a robbery at an Attleboro Getty gas station. Twenty-six-year-old Honeycutt is charged with five counts of first-degree robbery. Twenty-seven-year-old McDole is charged with two counts of first-degree robbery.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bev Re: Site change warning Dear Webby, I don't have a big problem, just an irritating one. I keep getting pop ups that say, Security Warning. The current web page is trying to open a site............ Can you, please help me get rid of them. I have McAfee-Spybot, and am on a sat. dish. Thanks Bev Dear Bev There is a good reason for that warning. Well, sometimes. If you are on a legitimate site, like at a bank or PayPal or store, or even on my site, then the warning is just showing you that the browser is paying attention and looking out for you. At other times, though, that warning can stop you just in time before getting trapped on a malicious site. I agree, that alert can be a nuisance, but nowadays browsing is not safe enough without it. Just like child seats in cars or hardhats on a construction site are a nuisance most of the time, but every now and then, they save somebody. There ARE ways to disable that warning, but I don't recommend that. Nowadays it is better to just get used to the nuisance, and be safe. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Several months after a young man is hired, he is called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asks. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years of experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held." "Well," the young man replies, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination, and since it was your accounting department who found out, and not my supervisor, I would say that was good enough."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stop Children From Arguing I have a tip for children bickering. I have passed this tip along and had reports back at how amazing the results. I used this until my children were grown and now my grandkids get a dose. Have the 2 kids that are bickering, either sit on the couch facing each other or stand facing each other with the tip of their noses touching for a set amount of time (not as long as time out). Who gets the front seat? No problem but they have to sit with their noses touching. My daughter and son both agree that they would refrain from arguing because they did not want to have to stand or sit that way. Most of the time giggling would happen before the time was up and they were friends again. By Notwrong from FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled. It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions." "To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Bob for this story: A client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to a veterinary clinic for inoculations. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized."

» Spicy Seasonings





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FaceBook friend request problems 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, October 16, 2010

We had a snow storm early in the afternoon and got three inches
of snow. It cleared up later and some of it melted. We are definitely 
back to 70's style climate.

Now that the Gullible Warming hoax is going out of fashion, 
Stiglitz, Oxfam and their ilk want to con everybody into agreeing
to a financial transaction tax to take money from organised 
countries and donate it to underdeveloped countries.

They tried that at the Group Of 20 sumit in Toronto, that time
still using man made CO2 as an excuse for a financial 
transaction tax, but Flaherty, our finance minister, told them
in no uncertain terms where to stuff that.

Looks like he will have to re-use that speech at the Seoul
summit next month, and memorize it, because after that France,
a supporter of a transaction tax, takes over the presidency
of the G20. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking." --- Voltaire "Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." --- John F. Kennedy
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mom, what's sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced a soccer enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square that has only room for one letter ?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Roshanda Stewart, Pepper M. Arnold, and JoAnna Rivers Everybody gets locked up WASHINGTON PARK -- There was plenty of drama surrounding a 9-month-old baby girl who was dropped off Wednesday night at the Washington Park Police Department. To begin with, the child was dropped off by a woman who was wanted by police. The woman was identified as Pepper M. Arnold, of East St. Louis. "She turned the child over to the police, telling us that the mother refused to come and get her child," said Washington Park Police Chief Dave Clark. "She said she was leaving the baby with us." Clark said Arnold told police she had the child for a couple of weeks. When Arnold gave police her identity, they determined she had a federal warrant out for her arrest for fraud charges. She was arrested, and federal agents picked her up Thursday. The child's mother was determined to be Roshanda Stewart, of the 4700 block of North Park Drive. Police located her Wednesday night and were able to convince her to pick up the child. When she finally arrived, social workers from the state Department of Children and Family Services were also at the station, Clark said. Call logs made by police officials show a call was placed to DCFS at 7:30 p.m., and no one from the agency showed up until 1:30 a.m., Clark confirmed. At one point, the child's grandmother, JoAnna Rivers, who lives in St. Louis, came to the police station after she was told the baby couldn't be brought to Missouri. Once there, police ran a computer check to make sure the child was not being released to a sex offender. "We found she had two warrants out for her arrest,"Clark said. The warrants were from St.Clair County for failure to appear in court. Rivers was arrested. When DCFS workers came and talked to the mother and grandmother, it was determined that the child should be taken from the family and placed into protective custody, Clark said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Michelle Re: Facebook friend requests Dear Webby, Why does FaceBook show faces at the right top and suggest adding them as a friend, and while most accept an offer of friendship, every now and then I get slapped with a suspension? There doesn't seem to be any logic or reason. What's going on? Michelle Dear Michelle Don't expect logic or reason at FaceBook, especially not from strangers. For example, if you offer your friendship to somebody, who is frantically trying to have more "friends" than you got, because nobody likes her, then she has the option to not just politely decline your offer, but also to exercise her perma-PMS and mark your offer as spam. That gets you suspended for two days, and she can add to the number of "friends", while you can't. Yes, it's childish, and just a wee widdle goilies pithing contest, much like office politcs. Just keep track of whom you have offered friendship, and you will know soon, who the hostile bimbo is. Men don't do that. They will cheerfully accept any offer of friendship from any female, except maybe their ex. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Two young men are speculating on how long they might live, and one says he thinks he has a long life ahead of him. "After all," he says, "my grandfather lived to be 96." "Ninety-six? What finally got him?" the other man asks. "Liquor and women." "Well, that just goes to show you," snickers the friend, "both will get you in the end." "Well actually, no, it's not what you think," says the first man. "Toward the end, Grandpa couldn't get either one, so he just laid down and died."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Get To Know Your Neighbors For so much of my life I didn't bother pursuing friendships with neighbors because I thought I probably would have nothing in common with them. Well, maybe I just got lucky this time and over the past two years I've become good buddy's with a few of the neighbors in our apartment complex and wow what a Blessing for all of us! We keep an eye on one another and if anyone is going out of town or has an emergency there is always someone available basically right next door to help with whatever might need to be done! We borrow items from each other like tools, DVDs, cooking utensils, etc.. We also do a food exchange and all of these things saves us all bunches of money! By Deeli from Richland, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two highway patrolmen stop a driver for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they are writing up the ticket, one trooper turns to the other and asks, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replies, "I don't know." "What are we going to do?" the first one asks. "If we spell it wrong, the judge will dismiss the charge." "Well," says his partner, "why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Waco?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man with a heart condition inherits a million dollars. His family, concerned that the shock might trigger a heart attack, asks his minister to tell him about the windfall. The minister goes to the man's house and, after pleasantries, asks him, "What would you do if you inherited a million dollars?" "Well, pastor," the man says, "I think I would give half of it to your church." At that, the pastor keels over dead.

» Chickenwire Sculpture





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IF and AND in the same Excel formula 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, October 15, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Sometimes lately I feel like a salesman for Skype. Even at the 
grocery store today. While waiting in line this lady I knew, 
complained to another one, that she will have to cut down 
calling her mother and use just email, because the phone 
bill was $400. I couldn't help but barge into the conversation
and suggest that she use Skype, and talk all she wants for 
free, and even video chat for free.

She thought the camera and stuff was too expensive, and the
set-up too complicated for her mother.

So I suggested that she get her mother a Skype Buddy-Pack,
which is a camera and a head set, total $40, with free shipping.
You plug it in and start yacking.

The camera even comes built into a little puppet, that you stand
on top of your monitor, or between the keyboard and the monitor,
so that you won't have the camera upside down. The most 
technical part is opening the shipping box.

"Hmmm, $40, video chat, and no more phone phone bills...."
She wandered off with a big smile, but I don't think she was 
contemplating video chats to her mother at that moment.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd. --- Allan Goldfein It is bad luck to be superstitious. --- Socratex If everything seems to be under control, you are not going fast enough. --- Mario Andretti
A meat counter clerk, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer. "That really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?" Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the freezer, paused a moment, then took the same one out again. "This one," he said faintly, " will be $6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision. "I know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"
The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret. The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional. She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit." The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious, Sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Eljuan Heath, Tulsa, Oklahoma Drug Suspect Ate Crack Pipe In an apparent bid to destroy evidence, the Oklahoma man allegedly ate a glass crack pipe after cops Sunday responded to a report that the suspect was selling marijuana outside a convenience store. Heath, pictured in the mug shot, was busted by Tulsa police inside a QuikTrip mart. Police sought to arrest Heath, 41, after he was spotted putting a beer in his pocket without paying for it, according to a Tulsa Police Department report. But as the suspect struggled with officers, a cop reported spotting the suspect removing a crack pipe from his pocket and, “putting the crack pipe in his mouth and chewing it up in an attempt to destroy the evidence (crack pipe).” The police report does not detail the size of the pipe or how much of the item Heath actually ingested. Heath, whose lenghty rap sheet includes multiple narcotics arrests, was collared for larceny, destroying evidence, and resisting arrest. He is being held without bond and is scheduled for an October 18 court hearing. Oklahoma Department of Corrections records show that Heath was freed from prison in March after serving nearly two years in custody for a cocaine distribution conviction. As part of his release, Heath was ordered to wear an ankle monitoring bracelet. The GPS-equipped device, which was due to be removed later this month, was in place when he was busted Sunday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tiffany Re: IF and AND in the same Excel formula Dear Webby, Can you use an IF and AND in the same Excel formula? I simply can't get that to work. Mom said it CAN be done, and that you once showed her how to do it, but she forgot. What I need is a formula that checks if an invoice is NOT marked paid with a "p" in column A, AND the invoice date in colum O is older than today, then, and only if BOTH those conditions apply, then figure out the number of days since the invoice date and put that into column B, but if none or only one of those conditions apply, then put nothing into column B. Sounds complicated, but is actually straight forward, I'm just not good at explaining it, but mom said you can speak or at least understand Blonde, and that you will figure it out. Tiffany Dear Tifany Your description is clear enough, and something used quite often in spreadsheets. What makes it tricky is the way Excel handles "AND" in an odd way, you don't put it between the criteria, but in front of them. AND(condition1, condition2) will result in a TRUE or FALSE, that you can use in a formula, for example if something is true, then the result will be 5, if not, then 10 =IF(TRUE, 5, 10) To get the TRUE or FALSE in your case, we would use: =AND(TODAY()>O3, A3<>"p") So we package that into an IF: if BOTH conditions are true, then show the number of days between the invoice date and today, otherwise show nothing: Paste into column B the next line: =IF(AND(TODAY()>O3, A3<>"p"), TODAY()-O3, "") You might want to save that formula in your cheat-sheet. You will need it again and again, and it is easier to edit and adapt, than to figure it out all over again. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed. She asked for a little warm milk to sip so a nun went to the kitchen to warm some milk. Remembering a bottle of brandy received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more, then before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother, Mother" the nuns cried, "Give us some wisdom before you die!" She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face, and pointing out the window she said, "Don't EVER sell that cow!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Get To Know Your Neighbors For so much of my life I didn't bother pursuing friendships with neighbors because I thought I probably would have nothing in common with them. Well, maybe I just got lucky this time and over the past two years I've become good buddy's with a few of the neighbors in our apartment complex and wow what a Blessing for all of us! We keep an eye on one another and if anyone is going out of town or has an emergency there is always someone available basically right next door to help with whatever might need to be done! We borrow items from each other like tools, DVDs, cooking utensils, etc.. We also do a food exchange and all of these things saves us all bunches of money! By Deeli from Richland, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by a very old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination," said the young girl. "All right," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone. "I went to get a haircut," was the reply. "But," said the pastor, "why didn't you do that before the service?" "Because," the gentleman said, "I didn't need one then."

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How frequently should you run Registry Booster? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, October 14, 2010

Getting colder here, and time to drain and put away the 
garden hoses and winterize the outside water faucet.
Also time to switch the fridge from heating the outdoors
to heating the kitchen instead.

During the warm seasons I cool the hot condenser grid
under the fridge with ouside air, that then goes back outside 
and up a stove pipe for good draft. It seems rather silly
to me to pay for electricity to pump calories out of the fridge
and freezer, and into an already warm summer kitchen,
and the pay for AC to pump that unwanted extra heat outside.

In winter, though, that extra heat saves on heating, so I
block both the outside intake and exhaust, and instead open
the skirt at the bottom of the fridge. It probably saves me
about $100 a year, and I would feel silly if I had to waste
that money just to save me 5 minutes of work every spring 
and fall.

I got the idea for that in the house I built in the Yukon in
the 70's. I insulated it with the same brown spray-on
foam, that you see on the space shuttle external tank.
Even though the pantry was in the North-West corner,
due to the excellent insulation, the fridge heated it up
like a sauna. That made it quite obvious. Didn't take me
long to duct outside air in and out, and I have used
that method ever since.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted." --- Mary O'Connor
Selma and Irving receive an invitation in the mail. Since it had been many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. Everything looked fine, until they read the last line on the invitation. Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this 'RSVP' mean?" Selma was at a loss and simply could not remember. Finally, she cries out: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"
David told me he overheard a couple of guys talking about scary things. Guy #1: "You'll never believe this. If you play an AOL 7.0 CD *backwards* you can hear all kinds of evil and Satanic messages!" Guy #2: "That's nothing. If you play it forwards, it installs AOL !"
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Derek Brown, 45, in London, England Big power rip-off A former electrical engineer for utility EDF has been prosecuted for illegally supplying power to some 1,500 homes in north London. Derek Brown, 45, was arrested in 2008 after being seen tampering with the electric grid in a manhole. He specialized in connecting separate supplies to houses that were split into apartments. One landlord involved, Haresh Parmar, was jailed for 9 months for stealing £30,000 worth of electricity for 22 of his apartments. Brown's assets will be seized and he has been sentenced to 8 months suspended, and 150 hours community service.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Steven Re: How frequently should you run Rgistry Booster Dear Webby, At your recommendatioin, I purchased the full Regestry Booster package (the speed tweakere and Driver Updater) several years ago to add to Diskeeper which I have had forever. This brings up two questions, How often should the Registry Booster package be run and in what order? Also, how necessary is it to keep updating Diskkeeper? It seems that htey are advtising an upgrade every month or so. Thank You, Steven Dear Steven I run Registry Booster when I do the weekly reboot. With DisKeeper, I update when I get a new computer, and ignore their ads in the meantime. Have FUN! DearWebby
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !
A couple came to the police department, wanting to dispose of some ammunition. They handed the desk officer a wooden box and explained that it contained two bullets an uncle had given them as souvenirs from World War II. "We didn't know what to do with them," the woman explained. "So all these years, we've kept the bullets in the locked drawer of the china cabinet, away from our children." The officer assured the couple he'd dispose of the bullets safely. But when he took one out of the box, the top of the bullet popped off, revealing a strange blackish substance. His suspicions aroused, the officer removed the top of the other bullet and found a hard white substance. There was no doubt about it. The bullets were souvenir salt-and-pepper shakers.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Preserve Leaves With Hair Spray You can preserve colorful autumn leaves easily by spraying them on both sides with heavy duty hair spray! I did that, put them on twigs with wire - added nuts and other pods. I put them in a nice vase found in a thrift shop and made a lovely Thanksgiving centerpiece/guest gift to bring to my family's house. Outlay? $2-3 for the vase! By Pamphyila from L.A., CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"Say, Ralph, you want to hit the golf course this afternoon?" "Sorry, I can't." "Why not?" "The doctor told me I can't play." "Oh, he's seen your game?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

» Canon DSLR Photo Challenge





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Are exe files safe? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Got an email today from John B, who claimed that the story 
about health care exemptions was trash circulated by Obama haters.

Yes, it sure is naughty of them to point to 
HR3962 page 300 Affordable Health Care Act and page 107
That is supposed to be secret, and even Senators don't snoop
in there!

He also mentioned, that he had tried last week to send a donation,
but that PayPal refused.
So I quickly tried myself, hit the DONATE button near the bottom 
of the Humor Letter, and sent the minimum amount that PayPal
allows, $1 from my right pocket to my left one. 
It worked just fine, as long as one stays above one dollar.

However, I noticed a rather scary sight there:
The exchange rate for this purchase is 1 USD = 0.980392CAD

The US $ had fallen below the Canadian $
At the begin of the heating season, that is not good at all!

In case that turns into a trend, you might want to top off your 
heating fuel before the price goes up!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Never confuse movement with action. --- Ernest Hemingway Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. --- Robert Heinlein
My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car. "I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer. "What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?" "Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?" "There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards." "Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
Thanks to Robert for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joshua Getchell, 24, in Sabbatus, Maine drug charges start with seat-belt infraction SABATTUS — What started as a possible seat-belt violation turned into a chase and ended with drug charges Monday for a local man. Joshua Getchell, 24, of 143 Dube Drive was traveling on Crowley Road near Settlement restaurant at roughly 1:30 a.m. when Sabattus patrol officer Andrew Levesque noticed Getchell wasn't strapped in and pulled over his vehicle, police said. After checking Getchell's driver's license, Levesque learned it had been suspended. Levesque cited Getchell for the two violations, then started to take an inventory of Getchell's vehicle because it had to be towed and impounded. That's when Getchell grabbed the handle of a 5-gallon bucket sitting in the passenger area and fled the scene, police said. Getchell was running for the woods and had gotten about 50 yards from his vehicle when Levesque caught up with him at the edge of the woods. When Getchell was nabbed, he resisted arrest, said patrol officer Gary Baillargeon, who took custody of the crime scene evidence later Monday. Police confiscated about 3.6 pounds of marijuana stashed in the gray bucket and in a brown paper bag found in a burlap sack in the passenger area of Getchell's vehicle. Police also found five Suboxone pills, a prescription narcotic medication for treatment of opioid dependence, according to the company's website. Baillargeon said Getchell was charged with: * Unlawful trafficking of schedule Z drug. * Possession of schedule W drug. * Operating after suspension. * Refusing to submit to arrest or detention. He also was cited for a seat-belt violation. He was released Monday on $1,000 cash bail from Androscoggin County Jail, a jail worker said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Eileen Re: Are exe files safe? Hi Webby, I was going to download registry booster as you approved it, but it comes up on my computer as "Can potionally harm computer". Is it really safe to download it? I have a HP, windows XP. If you say it's OK to download it on my computer, I will do it. Many Thanks, Eileen Dear Eileen Yes, Registry Booster is perfectly safe. Before downloading, your computer just sees the .exe file extension. From an unidentified or unrecognized source, an exe type file CAN indeed be dangerous. However, from a well known and reputable source, it is perfectly OK. Even setup.exe, that installs Windows, is an exe type file. You just have to make sure the source, where the file comes from, is legit. Have FUN! DearWebby
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !
During a readiness exercise, Bob and Jim were guarding the entrance to a bunker-like structure where aircrafts were kept. When a pilot about to do a preflight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it. "I don't see why I have to show you my ID," the pilot snapped. "After all, it is my plane." "Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane," replied Jim, "but it's sitting in my garage, and if you don't change your attitude right now, you will never see it again!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Preserve Leaves With Hair Spray You can preserve colorful autumn leaves easily by spraying them on both sides with heavy duty hair spray! I did that, put them on twigs with wire - added nuts and other pods. I put them in a nice vase found in a thrift shop and made a lovely Thanksgiving centerpiece/guest gift to bring to my family's house. Outlay? $2-3 for the vase! By Pamphyila from L.A., CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A hunter in Africa ran across a pigmy standing next to a huge dead elephant. The hunter then asked, "How does a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?" Said the pigmy, "My club did it." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied, "There are about 60 of us."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually. Liz: I'm the examiner!

» Touch of Classic





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Happy Fall 


You've Been Mooned!



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Twitter 


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Pinhead Of The Day 

Robert Edward Tyrrell, 29, of Villa Rica Ga. is our pinhead of the day. He held his mother hostage for six hours when she refused to iron his clothes in June.

He wanted her to do some ironing, and she said no. They got into an argument when he told her "ironing is woman's work." That's when he got his rifle out and held her at gunpoint.

Tyrrell has been indicted on charges of aggravated assault and false imprisonment.

I wonder if mom will post his bail?


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How frequently should I reboot? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Read something interesting today about Obamacare. It will be
mandatory to pay for it, except for his Muslim friends, Senators 
and Congress members. And illegal immigrants get lumped in 
somewhere between Muslims and Senators.
The infidels will be forced to pay for the medical expenses of
the privileged class.

Once that law is in place, Muslims won't need vehicle insurance
any more either, unless they want to drive into Canada or Mexico.

I wonder if it would affect the November election, if these facts
were leaked to the unprivileged infidels. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense. --- Gertrude Stein "We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give." --- Winston Churchill
Andy Rooney On Cripes: "My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?"
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see, my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong, would go outside and take a walk. By the time Jenny died thirtyfive years ago, my walks had become a habit and it was no big deal to keep them up."
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
Thanks to Robert for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Troy Kaczor, 40, Wausau, Wisconsin Man arrested after jumping into river chasing one-legged goose A Wausau man was rescued from the Wisconsin River on Thursday after he plunged into its frigid water while drunk and chasing a hobbled goose, police said. Troy Kaczor, 40, told police he shed his shirt and shoes at Big Bull Falls Park in downtown Wausau before he dived into the river, intending to catch the one-legged bird and then roast it, Wausau Police Lt. Bill Kolb said. Kaczor was too drunk to catch the goose and too drunk to get out of the river on his own, and had to be rescued. Kaczor was unable to secure his goose dinner, but he did get a meal out of the mishap. Police arrested Kaczor, 529 McClellan St., on a warrant for bail jumping and took him to the Marathon County Jail, Kolb said. As far as the police know, the goose still is on the loose.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mandy Re: How frequently should I reboot? Dear Webby, like you, I use my computer also as a fax machine, so it has to be on pretty well all the time. However, it gets awfully slow. After rebooting, it is a bit better, but it seems every month it's a bit slower. How often should I reboot, or what should I do to get reasonable speed? Mandy Dear Mandy I reboot once a week, unless a Windows update requires it in between. A reboot doesn't really do much more speeding up than you can accomplish by running Crap Cleaner. For speed I use Registry Booster to clean and optimize the registry, and Diskeeper to continuously defrag the hard drive. Yes, I know, there are hundreds of free programs that PROMISE to do the same. You probably even have a bunch of them installed. With those, the speed of your computer tells you that you get exactly what you pay for. I bought DisKeeper about ten years ago, after I lost one hard drive too many. Have not crashed one since, and the improvement in speed compared to free defragmenters is quite noticeable. The same goes for Registry Booster. I have tried lots of free registry cleaners, and found they made no noticeable difference. It costs under $30, and they throw in SystemTweaker 2010 as a bonus. I like it, and highly recommend it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !
Anni's car was unreliable and she called Sam for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sam got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out," Anni said. "Can you come to get me?" "Where are you?" Sam asked. "I'm in the drugstore," Anni responded. "And where's the car?" Sam asked. Anni replied, "It's in here with me."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Dry Goods in Refrigerator or Freezer Store your legumes, flour, oatmeal and nuts in the fridge or freezer. They won't get weevils or insects, and will last longer. By Dorty from SA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Once you reach mid-level management, promotions are hard to come by at the state highway. I congratulated one woman on her recent upgrade and asked if she would mind telling me how she pulled it off. She smiled and said, "Well, sure. But I doubt very much if it'll do you any good."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

» Hasenpfeffer





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PPS music and picture extractor 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Moday, October 11, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving Day to Canadians!
Happy Columbus Day to Americans,
where today all the Natives celebrate, 
that Columbus did not
get lost on the way to Turkey.


My friend Warner Carter, the author 
of the famous Guest Blogging for Profit 
book, gave me a very valuable warnng
today. FaceBook reveals your phone 
numbers!

I went and checked, and sure enough, it DOES show your phone
numbers, if one looks in the right place! A real tele-marketer's 
dream harvest!

30 seconds later I had changed my number to show my fax number.
WinFax is quite efficient in dealing with tele-marketers.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


"Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value." --- Albert Einstein "Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance." --- Oscar Wilde
A businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The medical man examined him and backed away, saying: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal." "Could you give me a pen and paper?" said the businessman. "Do you want to write your will?" "No, I want to make a list of all the people with overdue invoices, and then I am going out for a few bites."
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of holiday shopping. It was found by an honest little kid and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a purse, the owner didn't have any change for a reward."
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Early Christmas Cactus
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Edward Tyrrell, 29, of Villa Rica, GA Man bites police dog VILLA RICA, Ga. (UPI) -- A Georgia man who allegedly held his mom hostage for refusing to iron his clothes has been indicted on aggravated assault and false imprisonment charges. Robert Edward Tyrrell, 29, of Villa Rica was indicted by a Carroll County grand jury for allegedly using a rifle to hold his mother hostage for 6 hours when she refused to iron his clothes in June, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported. "He wanted her to do some ironing, and when she said 'no,' they got into an argument," Sgt. Marc Griffith with the Carroll County Sheriff's Office said of the start of the incident. "He told her 'ironing is woman's work.'" Seems ironic, if you can excuse the pun, but that is how she raised him. Though at age 29, even a Mama's boy should know better.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: PPS music and picture extractor Dear Webby, That link that you once had for extracting music and pictures from PPS files doesn't work any more. What's going on? Thanks, Dianne Dear Dianne It appears that download demands for PowerPointImageExtractor got too much for the private site, that hosted it as a favor. So the download file got moved to big mirror servers and is availabe there now. One is Software.informer.com, and the link is http://powerpointimageextractor.software.informer.com/ Have FUN! DearWebby
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !
There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really weird people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.' 'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that.' 'Oh,' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside my apartment all day and night, playing me bagpipes.'
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Packing Kids For Multi Day Trips When my son (early teens) went away on a church mission trip, I was worried that he would wear mismatched clothes or wear the same pair of socks for several days. You know how young boys are. I purchased gallon sized plastic zipper bags (the kind you use for food storage) and used them to pack his clothing. Each bag was labeled with a day of the week. Each bag contained a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, a pair of socks, and a pair of underwear. I placed a few dollars in the pocket of each pair of shorts so that he would have some cash for a snack/soda each day. By readingiggits from TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Imelda reported for her University PHD final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am rechecking my answers, and half of them are wrong !"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I". Little Johnny: I is... Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am." Little Johnny: All right, have it your way. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

» Apples





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Grow Your Own Food Easily 

The Problem with Traditional Vegetable Gardening?

By Jonathan White, environmental scientist.

Traditional vegetable gardens require an enormous amount of hard work and attention - weeding, feeding and strict planting schedules. There is also the problem of seasonality, allowing beds to rest during the cooler months producing nothing at all. Then we are told to plant green manure crops, add inorganic fertilizers and chemicals to adjust imbalanced soils. It takes a lot of time, dedication and a year-round commitment to grow your own food the traditional way. But does it really need to be that difficult? Let me ask you this question. Does a forest need to think how to grow? Does its soil need to be turned every season? Does someone come along every so often and plant seeds or take pH tests? Does it get weeded or sprayed with toxic chemicals? Of course not!

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Traditional vegetable gardening techniques are focused on problems. Have you noticed that gardening books are full of ways to fix problems? I was a traditional gardener for many years and I found that the solution to most problems simply caused a new set of problems. In other words, the problem with problems is that problems create more problems.

Let’s take a look at a common traditional gardening practice and I will show you how a single problem can escalate into a whole host of problems.

Imagine a traditional vegetable garden, planted with rows of various vegetables. There are fairly large bare patches between the vegetables. To a traditional gardener, a bare patch is just a bare patch. But to an ecologist, a bare patch is an empty niche space. An empty niche space is simply an invitation for new life forms to take up residency. Nature does not tolerate empty niche spaces and the most successful niche space fillers are weeds. That’s what a weed is in ecological terms - a niche space filler. Weeds are very good colonizing plants. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be called weeds.

Now back to our story. Weeds will grow in the empty niche spaces. Quite often there are too many weeds to pick out individually, so the traditional gardener uses a hoe to turn them into the soil. I have read in many gardening books, even organic gardening books, that your hoe is your best friend. So the message we are getting is that using a hoe is the solution to a problem.

However, I would like to show you how using a hoe actually creates a new set of problems. Firstly, turning soil excites weed seeds, creating a new explosion of weeds. And secondly, turning soil upsets the soil ecology. The top layer of soil is generally dry and structureless. By turning it, you are placing deeper structured soil on the surface and putting the structureless soil underneath. Over time, the band of structureless soil widens. Structureless soil has far less moisture holding capacity, so the garden now needs more water to keep the plants alive.

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In addition to this problem, structureless soil cannot pass its nutrients onto the plants as effectively. The garden now also needs the addition of fertilisers. Many fertilisers kill the soil biology which is very important in building soil structure and plant nutrient availability. The soil will eventually turn into a dead substance that doesn’t have the correct balance of nutrients to grow fully developed foods. The foods will actually lack vitamins and minerals. This problem has already occurred in modern-day agriculture. Dr Tim Lobstein, Director of the Food Commission said. "… today's agriculture does not allow the soil to enrich itself, but depends on chemical fertilisers that don't replace the wide variety of nutrients plants and humans need." Over the past 60 years commercially grown foods have experienced a significant reduction in nutrient and mineral content.

Can you see how we started with the problem of weeds, but ended up with the new problems of lower water-holding capacity and infertile soils. And eventually, we have the potentially serious problem of growing food with low nutrient content. Traditional gardening techniques only ever strive to fix the symptom and not the cause.

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However, there is a solution! We must use a technique that combines pest ecology, plant ecology, soil ecology and crop management into a method that addresses the causes of these problems. This technique must be efficient enough to be economically viable. It also needs to be able to produce enough food, per given area, to compete against traditional techniques.

I have been testing an ecologically-based method of growing food for several years. This method uses zero tillage, zero chemicals, has minimal weeds and requires a fraction of the physical attention (when compared to traditional vegetable gardening). It also produces several times more, per given area, and provides food every single day of the year.

My ecologically-based garden mimics nature in such a way that the garden looks and acts like a natural ecosystem. Succession layering of plants (just as we see in natural ecosystems) offers natural pest management. It also naturally eliminates the need for crop rotation, resting beds or green manure crops. Soil management is addressed in a natural way, and the result is that the soil’s structure and fertility get richer and richer, year after year. Another benefit of this method is automatic regeneration through self-seeding. This occurs naturally as dormant seeds germinate; filling empty niche spaces with desirable plants, and not weeds.

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Unfortunately, the biggest challenge this method faces is convincing traditional gardeners of its benefits. Like many industries, the gardening industry gets stuck in doing things a certain way. The ecologically-based method requires such little human intervention that, in my opinion, many people will get frustrated with the lack of needing to control what’s happening. Naturally people love to take control of their lives, but with this method you are allowing nature to take the reins. It’s a test of faith in very simple natural laws. However, in my experience these natural laws are 100% reliable.

Another reason that traditional gardeners may not like this method is that it takes away all the mysticism of being an expert. You see, this method is so simple that any person, anywhere in the world, under any conditions, can do it. And for a veteran gardener it can actually be quite threatening when an embarrassingly simple solution comes along.

I have no doubt that this is the way we will be growing food in the future. It’s just commonsense. Why wouldn’t we use a method that produces many times more food with a fraction of the effort? I know it will take a little while to convince people that growing food is actually very instinctual and straightforward, but with persistence and proper explanation, people will embrace this method.

Why? Because sanity always prevails…

…eventually!

Jonathan White is an Environmental Scientist and the founder of the Food4Wealth Method.

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Free zip/unzip program 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, October 10, 2010

Somebody on ThriftyFun asked for a gift suggestion for her mother's birthday, and mentioned she had $412 saved up. Here is what I suggested: By now your mother probably has more "stuff" than places to put it. You can buy her a cheap $300 - $400 laptop online, and set up Skype for her. Nowadays almost all laptops have web cams built in, and with Skype she can video chat with family and friends for free. Skype is free. The ability to do that will mean a LOT more to her than ANY material goods. Setting it up is easy, and you can rig it so that it automatically starts, and all she has to do is select the person she wants to chat with. This year you can set her up with a $10 head set, next year give her a desk microphone and a set of speakers (or connect a speaker cable to her home stereo), so that she can continue chatting while working in the kitchen. When I see how my father lights up, when I skype him at his breakfast table 8 time zones away from here, I KNOW that there is no better gift than giving the ability to communicate. Have FUN! DearWebby
Most of the important things in the world have been achieved by people who have kept on trying, when there seemed to be no hope at all. --- Dale Carnegie
Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the barn just before it burned, and provide you with a new one of comparable worth, up to a maximum of fifty thousand dollars." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "In THAT case, cancel the policy on my husband RIGHT NOW!."
During the cold war we had a series of radar sites known as the "Distant Early Warning" system or "DEW" line, a string of big huge radar stations in Northern Canada, powerful enough to microwave a goose at 5 Miles, advanced enough to look over the North Pole into Russia, accurate enough to tell the difference between a thrown rolling pin and a missile. Gradually the satellites took over the surveillance job and the DEW line got abandoned and just sat there rusting away quietly. Only recently some contractors were sent up there to dismantle the sites and bury or cart away the remains. One mechanic stationed there asked his buddy at home to arrange a date for him when he got leave. The buddy did so, but told the girl that she'd better be careful, as the guy had been working on the DEW line for 6 months. She replied, "No problem. I've been working on my 'DON'T line' for six years."
Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Sunset over the Pacific from Pismo Beach CA
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Roderick Lewis, 23, in Westhaven, Conn Man bites police dog It's often said if a dog bites a man it's not news, but if a man bites a dog, you've got a story. Well, here is that story. West Haven, Conn., Officer Scott Bloom was on patrol with his K-9, Onyx, near the Rite Aid on Elm Street early Thursday morning, when he noticed Roderick Lewis walking toward him. Lewis yelled out, "I need a bag of dust," referring to angel dust, or PCP, according to police. Lewis, 23, walked toward the officer and reached into his waistband, police said, and the officer grabbed Lewis's arms and told him to stop. That's when Lewis punched officer Bloom in the face, according to police. Onyx, the police dog, jumped from Bloom's cruiser and attacked the suspect, latching onto his leg, according to police. But then Lewis did his own chomping, biting into the dog's side, police said. Lewis didn't let go until the officer was able to pull him off the dog, police said. Lewis was charged with assault on a police officer, disorderly conduct and cruelty to animals. Officer Bloom and Onyx were treated for their injuries.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Duane Re: Unzip program Hi Webby, Do you know of a free program that will unzip files? I can't afford to pay for one if there is a free one. Thanks, Duane Dear Duane 7-Zip works fine and is free. Some say it works better than WinZip, some say it doesn't. I say, whichever one of those two you are used to, will appear to be better. The differences seem to me to be mostly religious and based on the fact that the fanatics of one have not read the instructions of the other. The only REAL difference I see is that 7-Zip is free and will never nag you about paying all over again and again, whenever you change machines or they have some cosmetic upgrades. The actual compression ratio is slightly better with 7-Zip. Don't do it when you are in a frantic hurry. First un-install any other zippers that you may have accumulated in the last 20 years, or what remnants of them are still lurking in the depths of your hard drive. While you are doing that, put a dollar or some spare change into a jar set aside for the Secure UnInstaller. It's cheap anyway, but if you put a buck into it's jar every time you wish you had it, it won't be a budget item when you do get it, and you can just jump for it. It's a good idea to clean up first before any new program, but when you get a program like 7-Zip, that you will be using for the rest of your life, then it is well worth it to make a clean foundation for it. Once you got it installed, grab a coffee and browse the manual and help just enough to know where to look, if you come up with any questions. It's all quite simple, but just like the Catholics do things different from the Protestants, 7-Zip has some controls and buttons labeled differently from other similar programs. Each one has a different user interface. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Arthur goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $49.00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go." The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $49.00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1,399.00." "Oh, no you don't," says the Arthur, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says `$49.00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want." "Okay," says the agent, who takes his money then grabs a baseball bat from under the desk and hits him on the head. Arthur wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean! He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another guy on the raft. "What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us." -- "I don't think so," responds his new-found travelling companion, "they didn't the last two years."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Chili Sauce as a Copper Cleanser My mother is in her late 70's and has a lot of copper pots, which have tarnished over the years. She had been using copper polish but feels it is becoming too expensive. Last week, she spilled some " Taste of Asia " chili sauce on one of her pots. When she wiped it it off, she found that it had cleaned the pot as well as the copper polish. She was so pleased that she did all of her pots with the chili sauce. At less than a $1.00 (Canadian), she was ecstatic. By Solarbaby http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The teacher asked: What do you think your mom and dad have in common? replied: "Both don't want no more kids."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
How can you tell if people are married ? "You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."

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Idiots Slow You Down And Stop You 


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Paypal Alternative 

Paypal Woes?

Paypal's rules are driving people away.
They decided out of the blue not to allow my debit card anymore.
Never mind that I have never forfeited or disputed a payment I made.
It does not matter that every payment I made was on time and hassle free.

They just chose to disallow my method of payment.

I have found a new pay processor that will offer me flexibility and and are not a bunch of jerks.

Paybox

Sign up for free and for a limited time you can get a $50 credit.

Paybox: Move away from Paypal. Click here Now!


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Questions 

PONDERISMS

1· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

3· Life is sexually transmitted.

4· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

11· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?

13· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

14· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

15· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

19· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

20· Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

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Does Your Dog Own You? 

You believe every dog is a lap dog.

If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.

You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids.

You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog.

You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.

You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog.

No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dog(s).

You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself.

You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when you know where his lips have been.

You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog in the neighborhood. You know their names.

You let the neighbor dog sleep over.

You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog.

Your vet and grooming bills exceed your mortgage.

When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice.

You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first.

You talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers


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Muslim Pussy 

What were you thinking?


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Getting rid of duplicates with Excel 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, October 8, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

A couple of days ago subscriber Ann asked me: "Lately there has been a very bright star raising in the east and going overhead to the west. I live on southern Vancouver Island and my deck faces south which is where I am viewing this star from. This star is very large (no it's not the moon) and on the rise is in about the 11 oclock position. Any guesses as to what star this is? Ann I gave her the address of the astronomy department of the University of Bristish Columbia, since they can just look out their window and see what she sees. They replied to her: "It is Jupiter. Jupiter passes through its closest approach to Earth (or more accurately, we passed through our closest approach to it) a few weeks ago. It's been prominent in the southeastern skies this past summer and through the autumn. Just to clarify to the person making the enquiry, the "star" (really a planet that looks like a star to the eye, except that planets don't twinkle) isn't "large" to the eye, it's bright. That can be mis- interpreted by the human brain, and in photographs, as being bigger than the other stars in view, but they are all unresolved pinpoints of light to the eye. Clear skies, Jaymie Dr. Jaymie Matthews Professor Ann forwarded me their reply, in case other readers take a smoke break and look up at the sky, and wonder what that bright thing up there is. Have FUN! DearWebby
The important thing is not to stop questioning. --- Albert Einstein Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone. --- Hodding Carter Humankind cannot stand very much reality. --- T. S. Eliot
Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. "I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." "I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life." His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two beautiful women, and you didn't call me?" "Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing."
Hmmmm a. The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000. b. Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year is 120,000. c. Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171. (Source: U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services) Then think about this: a. The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000. b. The number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) is 1,500. c. The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .0000188. Statistically, US doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
OK, so nobody except me is interested in saving home energy. If you do some day decide that cutting utility bills down to half or less with some neat tricks might be fun after all, I still got the link. Learn PHP in 17 hours Learn in 17 hours what took me over 250 hours to hunt down and figure out. Write scripts, install them and use them. Modify and adapt free scripts for your own purposes. Learn PHP in 17 hours
Thanks to Sandie for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Burrowing Owls next door
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jean-Paul Escudie, 65, in Cairns, Australia Drunk driver gets off easy A SERIAL drink-driver has avoided jail for crashing his motorised wheelchair into a police car while almost five times over the legal limit. Jean-Paul Escudie, 65, faced Cairns Magistrate Court today after pleading guilty to his seventh drink-driving charge since 2005. The court was told Escudie crashed his motorised wheelchair into an unmarked police car in the Cairns CBD on August 5 after a pub session followed by dinner and drinks with friends. No-one was injured and the incident caused minimal damage, but he was charged with drink-driving after recording a blood alcohol reading of 0.232 per cent. French-born Escudie was given a six-month suspended prison sentence after passing out in a turning lane on the Captain Cook Highway in his wheelchair while more than six times over the limit in 2008. Magistrate Jane Bentley said Mr Escudie's latest offence meant that sentence needed to be enacted but imposed a cumulative sentence of nine months for both offences. However, she ordered he be granted parole immediately because his offences were not as serious as if he'd been in charge of a car. "You were a risk to yourself rather than a risk to others," she said. Defence lawyer John Magoffin said that although Escudie did not require a driver's licence to operate the wheelchair, it was classified as a vehicle because it could reach speeds of up to 15km/h. The court heard Escudie had stopped driving a car after being caught drink-driving five times between 2005 and 2007. He then switched to a motorised wheelchair because health problems meant he was not able to walk long distances, Mr Magoffin said. (Not sober enough to walk) News.com.au did not report whether the magistrate was sober enough to walk.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellen Re: get rid of duplicates in Excel Dear Webby, Ok, so you are an Open Office wizard, but do you still remember some Excel tricks? We still use that at work. I need to weed out a huge list and make sure each address is in there just once. If there is duplication in the other columns, that is fine, but I need each email address just once, and I need the names and postal addresses in the other columns to stay in sync with the de-duplicated column. I'm not sure Excel can actually do that, but if anybody can figure it out, it will be you. Thanks Ellen Dear Ellen Yes, Excel can do that too. It may be a bit scary the first few times, but it works quite well. To be on the safe side, save the spreadsheet under a new name, then select all columns by holding down SHIFT and clicking on all the column letters on the top. Then Click on DATA, FILTER, ADVANCED Copy to another location and specify a free top cell Checkmark Unique records only and hit OK The deduplicated block will appear at the location that you set as "Other Location". You can zip to the end of it and see how much shorter it is than the original. With XP that happens pretty well instantly, even with a huge list. If the column with the critical data is not the first, then you have to move it to the left side and make sure it is the left-most column. All the rest are treated as baggage and just kept in sync with the data in the critical column. Have FUN! DearWebby
Secure Uninstaller With this Secure Uninstaller on your computer, you can try anything you want, without any fear about remants left behind. Get Secure Uninstaller !
There are these two guys driving a car. The guy driving blows right through the red light. "Man, you just ran that red light!", the passenger said. "Don't worry, my mother does it all the time," said the driver. Well, they continue to drive when the guy went flying through another stop light. "You ran ANOTHER stop light. You are going to get us killed!!!" exclaimed the passenger. "Don't worry, my mother does it all the time, the driver said. After a while they came to a green light and the guy stopped. "Why are you stopping?" the driver turned around and said, "Because my mother lives in this neighborhood!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Painting Clay Pots I like to dress up terra cotta pots with acrylic paints. One technique is to use three colors or more and a sponge. You only need a small squirt of each color, making it great for using those leftovers. Make sure your pot is dry. First, spray inside and out with a good coat of polyurethane or lacquer and let dry. You'll want to use three or more colors of paint. It just takes a small amount of each. I squirt my darkest shade onto a paper plate. Start with a slightly damp sponge, dip it into the paint, then blot onto a newspaper a few times. Lightly press the sponge to the pot to apply paint. You don't need to totally cover it. Each coat needs to dry completely. Next, repeat with the next lighter shade. Be sure to let some dark show through. Keep repeating dark to lightest. I usually paint the rim and inside just past the dirt line. It's finished when it's to your liking. After the last color is dried, use a coat or two of clear lacquer or polyurethane inside and out to seal paint from moisture or your pretty paint will bubble and peel. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A government employee is badly hurt falling down the stairs of the Capital Building in Washington, DC. He is taken to hospital where he remains in a coma for several days. Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him: "My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all, you'll never be able to work again..." "Oh!" muttered the injured bureaucrat. "What's the bad news?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A large crowd gathered at an accident on Main street. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim." The crowd parted and made way for him. Lying in front of the car, was a donkey.

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Fixed headers in Open Office Calc spreadsheets 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, October 7, 2010

The local elections are heating up, and the election signs are providing more color than the leaves, which have mostly departed for provinces further East. If the voting was on-line, the two candidates, who came to me for hosting, design and SEO (Search Engine Optimizing), are still on top of page 1 of Google, when doing a generic search for just "Black Diamond Election", without including their names. Their closest competitors seem to be somewhere past page 300,000. Sharlene from down the street got a better domain name, but Barb edged past her by simply chatting a bit on her blog. It will be interesting to see whether the majority of the voters react to the web or to people stomping house to house and boring them with election promises. Have FUN! DearWebby
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms. --- Alan Corenk An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support. -- John Buchan
Gina was trying to get her eigth-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," she asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke in a strange way that you don't understand, and wore weird and unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one girl answered, "That pretty well describes Bozo, my sister's boyfriend, and I've beaten him up before."
On her way back from the concession stand, Sally asked a man at the end of the row of seats, "Pardon me, but did I step on your foot before?" Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did." Sally nodded, "Oh good. Then this is my row."
#1 Home Energy Savings Manual Save On Home Energy! Cut Energy Waste to the Bone. Lower Your Utility Bills by up to 50%. Learn how to apply Advanced Conservation Methods and Products to Your Existing Home. Makes solar, wind, and other renewable energy systems cost half as much! Get the #1 Home Energy Savings Manual
Thanks to Robert for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Hidden Pool Colorado Plateau, Utah
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alexis Carter, 21, lake County, Florida Charged with intimidating and ripping off elderly LAKE COUNTY, Fla. -- Police have a warning about the car in your rear-view mirror. A Lake County woman was arrested Tuesday for following elderly victims home from grocery stores and demanding cash. She claimed her victims had hit her car, but they hadn't. A perfectly timed phone call led to her arrest. One of the victims was filling out a report at Leesburg police headquarters when the woman called her cell phone. That's how police got the woman's phone number and they tracked her down. "They just target the elderly, and especially a woman alone," said Captain Rob Hicks of the Leesburg Police Department. The elderly woman, who did not want to be identified, told WFTV she's afraid of 21-year-old Alexis Carter. "It frightened me. It upset me," she said. Leesburg police said Carter, driving a red Ford, cruised the parking lots of the local Aldi and Publix supermarkets, and the Veteran's Clinic. They say she targeted elderly women who were backing their cars out of parking spaces. "All three victims said they saw the red car. They described it as if they thought the car was waiting for that parking space," Hicks said. But Hicks said Carter then followed the women to their homes and confronted them, claiming they had hit her car. "Said that she already spoken with her mechanic, and that the mechanic told her it was going to be $85 or some amount to make the repair," Hicks said. Detectives said two of the victims refused to pay, but they said Carter coerced an 82-year-old into going to the bank and withdrawing $187. However, one woman did not fall for it. But both she and police are worried Carter may have ripped off many more victims. Carter is charged with organized fraud and is in the Lake County jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fran Re: Fixed headers in Open Office Calc Dear Webby, Can you make fixed headers in Open Office Calc spreadsheets, so that the descriptive column headers stay in place when you scroll the page? If you can do it, how is it done? Fran Dear Fran Yes, sure you can! You can even make the leftmost columns fied, sothat they stay visible when you scroll the page sideways. Just put the highlight into the cell closest to the row and column that you want to remain fixed. For example, if you want both Column A and Row 1 to remain fixed, highlight Cell B2 and hit ALT W F and it is done. Or click on Window Freeze You will see lines dividing the fixed and the scrollable areas. Have FUN! DearWebby
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On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple's 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it. "It all felt like five minutes..." the gentleman said slowly. The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head: "..underwater."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Painting Clay Pots I like to dress up terra cotta pots with acrylic paints. One technique is to use three colors or more and a sponge. You only need a small squirt of each color, making it great for using those leftovers. Make sure your pot is dry. First, spray inside and out with a good coat of polyurethane or lacquer and let dry. You'll want to use three or more colors of paint. It just takes a small amount of each. I squirt my darkest shade onto a paper plate. Start with a slightly damp sponge, dip it into the paint, then blot onto a newspaper a few times. Lightly press the sponge to the pot to apply paint. You don't need to totally cover it. Each coat needs to dry completely. Next, repeat with the next lighter shade. Be sure to let some dark show through. Keep repeating dark to lightest. I usually paint the rim and inside just past the dirt line. It's finished when it's to your liking. After the last color is dried, use a coat or two of clear lacquer or polyurethane inside and out to seal paint from moisture or your pretty paint will bubble and peel. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Sam made an appointment with a urologist, famous for his work in the field of impotence. The doctor examined him and said, "You're in remarkably good condition for a man of 85. Why are you here?" Sam replied, "My friend Max says he has sex twice a week. I can't do that." The doctor shrugged. "Yes you can. You can certainly SAY you have sex as many times a week as you like."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor. "No, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor. An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'." "Thank you nurse," said one of the doctors, "but we prefer to settle this argument ourselves. Besides, we don't think you are in a position to describe the sound of an rhino passing wind under water."

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McAfee online help via chat 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, October 6, 2010

This evening I had a very pleasant chat with Sajeer, a tech at McAfee. It seems that there have been great improvements made there. Details in the blue Tech Support Pits section. Have FUN! DearWebby
"The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention." --- Socratex "Greater things are believed of those who are absent." --- Publius Cornelius Tacitus Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. --- Andre Gide
Bambi, the pert young yuppie, filled her gas tank at a self service station. After she had paid and driven away, she realized she'd left the gas cap on top of her car. "Ooopsie," she said as she stopped and looked. Sure enough, it was lost. Mustering all her mental abilities she thought for a few minutes. "Surely I'm not the only young, beautiful, blonde woman to have done this," She muttered to herself. "Others must have done the same thing. Maybe if I drive back the way I came, I'll find a gas cap that will fit, or maybe even the one I lost." Bambi drove back down the street and sure enough, she found a gas cap laying by the side of the road. She tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying "click." "WOW, this is SO COOL", Bambi said to no one in particular. "I lost my gas cap, but found one that fits. It's even better than my old one because this one automatically LOCKS!"
A woman, whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds - and girth -was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman's pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, "Now what would it take to get you into one of these?" Looking at the Jeep's high front seat, the woman replied, "Probably a forklift."
#1 Home Energy Savings Manual Save On Home Energy! Cut Energy Waste to the Bone. Lower Your Utility Bills by up to 50%. Learn how to apply Advanced Conservation Methods and Products to Your Existing Home. Makes solar, wind, and other renewable energy systems cost half as much! Get the #1 Home Energy Savings Manua
Thanks to dad for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. On the Mainau island on Lake Constance Dad went back to that island for some more fall pictures. I uploaded two pages worth to his site at http://dawna.com
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Paul Ewing, 35, in Bradenton, Florida Doper kills neighbor's plants BRADENTON, Fla., Oct. 4 (UPI) -- A Florida man used water guns and water balloons to spray weed killer on his neighbor's plants because he was owed money for drugs, police said. Bradenton police said Paul Ewing, 35, was pulled over Thursday for driving with a suspended license and admitted he had been spraying his neighbor's flowers and bushes with Roundup weed killer because he was upset about money the neighbor owed him for drugs, the Bradenton (Fla.) Herald reported Monday. Ewing, who estimated the landscaping damage at $250, said he used water guns to spray plants in the front yard and threw water balloons into the back yard. Police said the incidents took place from May 1 to July 1. Ewing was charged with criminal mischief with property damage and released from Manatee County jail after posting $500 bail. He has not yet been charged for selling the drugs, for which he claimed he was owed payment.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Me Re: McAfee not working McAfee Did not work on an old machine, that I needed to use again. So I downloaded it again, but the fresh install didn't work either. Rather than waste a lot of hours guessing, I went to http://mcafee.com, support, on-line chat. After a very brief one minute wait I was greeted by Sajeer, a very polite and very competent tech. Sajeer checked my machine and in seconds figured out the problem. The old expired installation was preventing a clean install. Sajeer asked for authorization to fix it, which I naturally gave. Then Sajeer cleaned and fixed everything via the Internet, in surprisingly short time. A fresh download, install and reboot, and everything worked just fine. That machine then scanned itself and is now scanning the remote USB back-up hard drive. Years ago it used to be difficult to get competent help at McAfee, but they sure have improved drastically! If you have any problems related to McAfee, select the on-line tech chat. They have good and competent people there now! Have FUN! DearWebby
Worlds Best Compost Make the worlds ultimate natural fertilizer, colloidal humus, without bins, turning or odor. No toxic chemicals! Get Worlds Best Compost !
Jeff's mother-in-law uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. She came into the Family Room as he was watching TV. It seems hestared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." While we remember the ruckus that followed, the last thing he remembers is saying: "Oh, really? At what time is it set go off?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shelf Liner for Securing Throw Rugs My husband scored several new oriental style rugs. The problem was that the smaller area rugs slipped on our linoleum flooring. I solved that problem by buying an inexpensive roll of brown foam shelving liner and cutting it up into rectangles to put two under each rug at each end to anchor them. One cheap roll ($1.50) was enough for four area rugs. Pamela M. from Hollywood, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The Los Alamitos, California, police log reports that a caller called police to report hearing a man screaming, "I am going to kill you!" which turned out to be a man "addressing his computer." No charges were filed, of course, as the actions were deemed to likely be appropriate.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?" "Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."

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Where Pumpkin Pie Comes From... 


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Spreadsheet alarm tricks 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Today's picture is of a 3 foot diameter "Mother-In-Law's-Chair". Whoever named it hundreds of years ago, apparently did not like his or her mother-in-law. When they are younger, those vicious little spikes look a lot more prominent, but apparently, just like eyes in people, they don't grow much, if at all, while the rest of it grows in size. They just get sharper. Have FUN! DearWebby
"Chance only favors a prepared mind" --- Louis Pasteur "An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?" --- Michel De Saint-Pierre He who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. --- Thomas Jefferson
Sid and Al were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in Mexico?" I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Mexican Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere." When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Mexican Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews!"
Little Harold was practing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake. can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!"
#1 Home Energy Savings Manual Save On Home Energy! Cut Energy Waste to the Bone. Lower Your Utility Bills by up to 50%. Learn how to apply Advanced Conservation Methods and Products to Your Existing Home. Makes solar, wind, and other renewable energy systems cost half as much! Get the #1 Home Energy Savings Manua
Thanks to dad for sending this picture: What is this? Click through the picture to the large version. Don't sit on it! Click through the picture to the large version. Click through the picture to the large version. Mother In Law's Chair The Latin name for it is Echinocactus Grusonii
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Elsie Wright O'Conner, 65, in Ocala, Florida Granny tries grilled cheese sandwich bribe to get out of DUI arrest OCALA, Fla., Oct. 2 (UPI) -- A police officer in Florida says a grandmother tried to avoid a drunken driving arrest by offering to make him a grilled cheese sandwich. Elsie Wright O'Conner's ploy, it did not work. She was arrested Thursday night and charged with driving under the influence, the Ocala Star-Banner reports. In his report, Marion County Deputy Calvin Batts said he responded to a call about an erratic driver and pulled O'Conner over. He said he smelled alcohol on her breath and found two Skyy vodka bottles in her Cadillac sport utility vehicle, one empty and one half-full. O'Conner failed a field sobriety test, Batts said. At the county jail, her blood-alcohol level tested at more than three times the legal limit of 0.08. "Come on now, I'm a grandma, can't you do something for me since I'm not that bad," Batts said O'Conner told him. "I could have brought you back to my house and made you a grilled cheese sandwich."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tess Re: Automatic color blocks in spreadsheets Dear Webby Is there a way to make a spreadsheet change the color of a cell, depending on whether someting is true or false, or bigger than a comparison number? I don't mean a number turning red, when it is negative, but more something like a cell turning orange when the date gets close or red when it is past the date, or green when the date for writing a new invoiceis is far enough in the future. It would even be OK if each color block is in a separate column. Oh, and a partridge in a pear tree, while you are at it. Thanks Tess Dear Tess The colors of cells are assigned prior to a formula being calculated, but we can put those "alarm lights" into different columns. Make 3 columns and set the font colors in them to red, orange and green, respectively. Let's say the trigger date is in column R, and the top row is a locked header. So, if you want an alarm light in cell A2, if the date in column R is today's date, then write into A2: =IF(TODAY()=(R2),"T","") That puts a red T into the A2 cell, when the date in R2 is today's date, or nothing at any other time. If you want a 7 day or smaller alarm in the next column, use: =IF(TODAY()>(R2-7),"7","") That puts a 7 into the orange column You can, of course, play with those formulas any way you want. Now, to dress it up a bit, instead of the "T", hold down the ALT key, and type on the numeric keypad 219. That puts a big, solid block of color in there, when the formula condition is true. Then replace the 7 in the next column with ALT 219, to get an orange block when the condition of THAT formula is true. ALT 178, 177 an 176 are successively lighter shades of text color. ALT 222 is a full color half width block. Once you got the alarm lights working and looking right, copy them and paste them as far down their columns as the spreadsheet goes. The cells will look empty, until the current date catches up with the date that row has in column R. Then the appropriate alarm light will light up. Have FUN! DearWebby
Worlds Best Compost Make the worlds ultimate natural fertilizer, colloidal humus, without bins, turning or odor. No toxic chemicals! Get Worlds Best Compost !
Way down the Mississippi River, two tugboat captains from Luisiana, who had been friends for years, would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A new crewman asked his captain, "Hey, Pierre, why you do dat?" The captain looked surprised and replied, "Sacri Bleu, you dumb Cajun, your mother not read ta bible to you? You never hear of 'an aye for an aye an a toot for a toot' ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pull Your Coupons Off Products Before Checkout Don't expect the cashiers at the checkout to pull coupons off of products for you. Some do but some do not. I have been disappointed several times about this. The coupon can most often be used on the next trip to the store but you lost a chance to use it right away. By Melody_yesterday from Otterville, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After the lecture, the speaker invited questions from the floor. "I'll hear first from the blonde lady in the front row," he announced but there was no response. Finally realizing all eyes were on her, the blonde lady spoke up. "I didn't know you meant me. I've only been a blonde since yesterday."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . . . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

» Faces in Places





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Is online bill paying safe? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, October 3, 2010

Greater things are believed of those who are absent. --- Publius Cornelius Tacitus Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. --- Laurence J. Peter Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right. --- Arthur Schopenhauer Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. --- Dandemis
In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?" The mathematician said: "Never." The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time." The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes."
A loaded mini van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some awesome display of teamwork ! What's your system ?" The father replied, "It's quite simple: No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
#1 Home Energy Savings Manual Save On Home Energy! Cut Energy Waste to the Bone. Lower Your Utility Bills by up to 50%. Learn how to apply Advanced Conservation Methods and Products to Your Existing Home. Makes solar, wind, and other renewable energy systems cost half as much! Get the #1 Home Energy Savings Manua
Thanks to Cheryle for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. North Shore Hawaii
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Said Oruczadeh, 23, of Middletown, Conn. Man Says Cocaine In His Butt Isn't His A search of a 25-year-old man following a traffic stop Wednesday morning revealed one bag of marijuana and one bag of cocaine in the driver's buttocks, according to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office. The driver said only the marijuana belonged to him. Raymond Stanley Roberts was pulled over at 8:40 a.m. in the 500 block of 63rd Avenue East. Approaching the Hyundai, deputies said they could smell a strong odor of marijuana coming from the vehicle, according to the report. After writing a speeding ticket, one of the deputies asked Roberts if he smoked marijuana and when had he done it last. According to the arrest report, Roberts replied that he smoked the night before and there was nothing in the car. He then told the two deputies to search the car. While searching Roberts’ person, deputies felt a soft object in his buttocks. The report said Roberts then said, “Let me get it,” and pulled out a clear plastic bag of marijuana weighing 4.5 grams. He was then asked if he was holding anything else, and Roberts said no. Deputies then felt another soft object in the same area and pulled it out through the exterior of Roberts’ shorts. The object was a bag with 27 pieces of rock cocaine weighing 3.5 grams, the report stated. When the bag fell to the ground, Roberts immediately said, according to the report, “The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is.” He then stated that his friend had borrowed the vehicle before and he saw the cocaine on the passenger seat when he was pulled over. Roberts has been charged with possession of rock cocaine and marijuana. He was released Wednesday from Manatee County jail after posting a $1,120 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mark Re: How secure is bill paying over the net? Dear Webby, how safe and secure is bill paying over the net? Can one truly rely on it and not worry about it? I am talking about utility bills. Mark Dear Mark The bill paying part is quite OK. There is absolutely no worry about that. That has been figured out and automated many years ago, and works fine. The only problem you have to worry about is getting the bills in your email. Just like some ISPs censor the Humor Letter, some also censor utility bills. Set yourself a reminder, to go check online, if you did not receive the usual bills in email by a certain date. I learned that the hard way. The same, of course, also applies to paper invoices. Alberta Energy Corp, for example, finds it more convenient to send invoices to a collection agency, and trashing people's credit rating, rather than correcting an address mistake in their data base or have anybody stop by a residence. I learned that the hard way too! Just set a reminder to pay the invoices on-line at a certain date, no matter whether you actually received their invoice in your email. Have FUN! DearWebby
Worlds Best Compost Make the worlds ultimate natural fertilizer, colloidal humus, without bins, turning or odor. No toxic chemicals! Get Worlds Best Compost !
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run.' With this the platoon cheered, as Private Peters was a bit overweight and quite slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be my driver in my new jeep."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Used Dryer Sheets to Wipe Down Dog I keep my used dryer sheets in a tissue box, and when my dogs come in from being outside (especially from the rain) I wipe them down with a dryer sheet. It still has some fragrance and removes loose hair. They smell better and it helps with shedding. It also helps dry them off if it has been raining. Just another way to reuse and recycle! By cdc343 from Cleveland, TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
(Read this one out loud) Miss Addy asked , why was late. You see, at the ranch this here coyote it ate six hens and killed the goat. And last night when Pa heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and said, "That coyote's back again! Stay back, he told all us kids, I wouldn't want ya hurt! He was naked as a jaybird- no pants, no boots, no shirt! To the henhouse there he crawled, like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that double barrel, through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, Our ol' hound Zeke come asneakin'up behind. And cold-nosed Pa without no warnin'. We been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
MOODS OF A WOMAN An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, A woman is a bundle of contradiction, She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose, She'll win you in rags, enchant you in silk, She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk; At times she'll be vengeful, merry, and sad, She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad. MOODS OF A MAN Hungry, Horny, Sleepy (Not necessarily in that order)

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How to replace a laptop keyboard 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, October 2, 2010

"A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's." --- Richard Whately "When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality." --- Al Capone
Sue has the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All she has to do is mention it to her husband and he says, "Let's go for Pizza!"
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not nice to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to pee just tell me that you have to 'whisper'." The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper." The father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."
#1 Home Energy Savings Manual Save On Home Energy! Cut Energy Waste to the Bone. Lower Your Utility Bills by up to 50%. Learn how to apply Advanced Conservation Methods and Products to Your Existing Home. Makes solar, wind, and other renewable energy systems cost half as much! Get the #1 Home Energy Savings Manua
Thanks to Robert for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Looks like near Bryce Canyon, Utah
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Said Oruczadeh, 23, of Middletown, Conn. Toilet flush gives away burglars MIDDLETOWN, Conn. (UPI) -- Two burglars in Middletown, Conn., were nabbed after one of them was betrayed by an act of nature that led, naturally, to flushing a toilet, police say. A homeowner was pulling her car into the driveway of her house Wednesday around noon when she heard the sound of a toilet flushing, the Hartford Courant reported. She pulled out of the driveway to a spot nearby and called police. The woman then followed an intruder in her car, relaying information to police after he emerged from the house and took off on foot, the newspaper said. Police apprehended Said Oruczadeh, 23, of Middletown carrying $9,905 worth of jewelry and later arrested Derek Mandeville, 21, also of Middletown whom police claim is an accomplice. Both were being held on burglary-related charges, the Courant said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Donna Re: Replace laptop keyboard Dear Webby, The keyboard on my DELL laptop is shot. I got two key-caps that won't stay on, some have the letters worn off, and some getting unpredictable. I don't see any screws or any way to take the keyboard off, and don't have a clue, where to get a new one anyway. Help Donna Dear Donna Look on eBay for a keyboard for your model. Don't go with the first one you find, but cross-check with Amazon and PriceGrabber, and also DELL. Dell, won't necessarily be the most epensive, but usually is the slowest in shipping. Including shipping, expect to pay $15 - $30. Once you have the replacement keyboard, you need an old- fashioned thin razor blade, the paper thin type, not the thick type, and a small Philips screwdriver. Turn the laptop off before working on it. Use the razor blade to pry up the bezel around the keyboard. Then you see two or four screws. Remove those and lift the keyboard. you will see one or two flat cables plugged into it. While you got it open, you might as well vacuum the cavity. Wiggle those cables off the old keyboard and plug them the same way onto the new keyboard. Insert and tighten the screws, push the bezel back on, and you are done. As long as you don't drop the screws and have to go chase them, the whole procedue just takes a couple of minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby
Worlds Best Compost Make the worlds ultimate natural fertilizer, colloidal humus, without bins, turning or odor. No toxic chemicals! Get Worlds Best Compost !
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally, even though the rancher insisted that a prize bull was worth five times what an ordinary bull is worth, he agreed to be satisfied with just half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check and cashed it in at the store, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one single witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Halloween Riddles Halloween fun for kids of all ages! Several years ago I collected about 25 simple, "easy-to-understand" Halloween riddles (available in joke books, online, etc.). I read 5 of them to my kiddos after dinner each Saturday during October. The first one to get the answer correct, got 5 "pumpkin" bucks. (Orange cardstock punched in pumpkin shapes with a "5" printed on each.) I added riddles to my list each year, and now have about 60 of them! Right before Halloween, I get some really cool items and hold an "auction". The kids use their pumpkin bucks to make bids! I've kept the sheets from the previous years to show which child got which riddles correct - it's so funny to see the progress of each, and it's really funny to see their excitement, especially when they think they KNOW the answers for sure, but come up with totally off-beat responses! By Caseye from Plano, TX http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
There was this bank where the employees went on strike leaving the bank officers to do the teller's tasks. While the strike was on, Jane called the bank, and asked if they were open. They told her they had two windows open upstairs in the office area. Then Jane asked, . . . "I'm afraid of heights, couldn't you just let me in though the back door?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it."

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Can JPG compession be reversed? 



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Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, October 1, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Was month-end bad timing? Or is really not even ONE out of 
ten thousand readers interested in an easy and rock solid 
entrance to an online income?

I wonder if more of you would show an interest, if I write 
about Incredimail signatures and Bingo?

What ARE you interested in?

Have FUN!
DearWebby

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. --- Sam Levenson A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men. --- Roald Dahl
Jenifer's big formal wedding was fast approaching and she was delighted to hear that her Mom, Sheilah, just after a nasty divorce, had finally found the perfect mother-of-the-bride dress. Two days later, she was shocked to learn that her father's new wife, Fawn, had purchased the same dress. She asked her Fawn to buy another dress since her Mom had already altered hers to fit better. Fawn refused. After two more weeks of frustrating shopping, Sheila found a dress that was not as nice as the first, but would serve. When asked by a friend what she would do with her original dress, she grinned and replied, "I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!"
Here is an old favorite about a kindly old gramma coming all the way from Florida to visit her kids and her experience with downtown traffic: "The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my two grandkids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well over all the honking, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," and "Move your grass." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must really love the Lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to yellow, and stepped on the gas. And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good luck sign as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Street-racing Ferrari and BMW impounded VANCOUVER — North Vancouver police have impounded a pair of hot wheels — a BMW and a $400,000 Ferrari — last weekend when officers pulled over two drivers clocked at about 200 km/h. The Vancouver men, 21 and 22, were stopped by North Vancouver RCMP Saturday when officers spotted them racing on a road popular among hikers, outdoor enthusiasts and families. Several motorists called in a dangerous driving complaints at 10:45 a.m. Moments later, the officer was stunned to see a sky blue Ferrari Scuderia streak past him, pursued closely by a BMW. Naturally, the RCMP caught them quickly. "They were penalized under the street-racing laws," said Cpl. Peter DeVries, spokesman for the detachment. "I think we probably saved their lives, if nothing else." Both men were handed close to $1,000 in fines and automatically lost their licences and vehicles for seven days. The man driving the Ferrari had been behind the wheel of the supercar - valued at $400,000 - for only a day before watching it loaded onto the back of the impound truck. Towing and impound fees are separate and in addition to the fines.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chris Re: Revrse JPG compression Dear Webby, I noticed that a lot of sites compress their files, probably to make them load faster. That really reduces the qality. Is there any way at all to reverse the JPG file compression and restore the riginal quality? Chris Dear Chris No, there isn't. JPG uses a "lossy compression". It throws away pixels or dots, averages the rest, and makes the dots bigger. It does not keep any record of what color, saturation, or brightness those pixels had. They are simply throws away. JPG compression is a one way street. You can not reverse it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Two men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. Shortly after they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them that was not in the contract, but that I would gladly do it for $50.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Produce Containers For Mini Hothouses Use empty produce containers (like the ones that hold strawberries) for miniature hothouses. It's very useful for a small hothouse, or to start seeds in a small area. When the plants are big enough, just keep the lid open. I did it for my bean plants, and now they're thriving on my small balcony! By Davidicdancer from Spokane, WA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ If you want to have sucess with small back yard or balcony farming with a minimal investment of time or money, check out Food Wealth. Avoid mistakes and focus on what works! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?" In one voice they all replied, "You, daddy."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two neighbors, who had been rivals all their lives followed different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop. As fate would have it, they happened to meet at an Airport. The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly, "Oh porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?" The Admiral approached and said "Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?"

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