Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 21

Winter Wonder Land!
Big snowflakes and just enough fog, so that everything has
an orange glow from the streetlights. Just like Christmas,
but thankfully without the ads on the radio.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
2137 -BC- 1st recorded total eclipse of the sun China
1520 Magellan entered the strait which bears his name
1553 Volumes of the Talmud are burned 
1805 Battle of Trafalgar, Adm Nelson defeats French & Spanish fleet & dies 
1915 1st transatlantic radiotelephone message, Arlington, Va to Paris 
1918 Margaret Owen sets world typing speed record of 170 wpm for 1 min 
1945 Women in France allowed to vote for 1st time
1950 Chinese forces occupy Tibet 
1967 Thousands opposing Vietnam War try to storm the Pentagon 
1988 Ferdinand & Imelda Marcos indicted on racketeering charges 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.
--- Benjamin Franklin

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. 
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
--- Socrates



A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given   
an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to   
give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The   
husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so   
bad."   

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to   
pick it up.   

"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the   
way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.   

"Exactly," replied the instructor.   

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife   
and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."



Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband,
"I bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he indignantly answered. "How could you
think I would forget?" Whereupon he left for the office.

At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened
the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long
stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound
box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique
delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for
her husband to come home.

"First the flowers, then the chocolate and then the dress!"
she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful
'Hedge Hog Day' in all my life!"


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!


Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People.
151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. 
Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is 
A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare 
Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And 
Weight Loss. Sure To Please!  Get the Revolution Cookbook now!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Dawn Peel, 50, in St. Paul, MN

Kissed Her Boyfriend On The Forehead, 
Then Tried To Saw His Head Off
St. Paul, MN (The Weekly Vice) - Dawn Peel, a 
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Dawn Peel, a 50-year-old Minnesota bonehead was jailed 
Monday after she allegedly gave her boyfriend a kiss, asked 
him if he loved her, then attempted to saw through his neck 
with a knife.

According to police, officers were dispatched at 1:45 a.m. 
after the victim called 911 to report that he had been 
attacked by his girlfriend.

The man had fled from his residence after his girlfriend 
used a knife to "cut at his neck like she was slaughtering a 
goat or a cow," according to the arrest report.

The man told investigators that he was asleep on the couch 
when he awoke to find Peel kneeling over him.  She then 
allegedly asked him if he loved her.  When he answered "yes" 
she then kissed him on the forehead and said "this is the 
last time you'll see my eyes."

That's when Peel allegedly put a knife to the victim's neck 
and began sawing back and forth in a vigorous manner.

Investigators say the man was able to escape the slaughter, 
however he was bleeding heavily from the neck when police 
arrived on the scene.

The man was taken to a local hospital where he received 
23 staples in his neck to stop the bleeding.

When officers arrived at the his house to question Peel, she 
answered the door completely naked.  When officers asked 
how much alcohol she had been drinking,  Peel answered 
"not enough."

She was booked into the Ramsey County Jail and charged 
with attempted murder. Her bail has been set at $75,000.



Tech Support Pits
From: Lee
Re: Mail attachments won't open

Dear Webby!
Sometime I try to open a piece of mail. A window comes
down saying to large for word pad to open. And asks if I
want note pad to open it,if i say yes it opens in computer
language. which I cant read. What can I do about this. I am
73 yrs old and am a novice at the computer
Thank you Lee

Dear Lee
If you get weird stuff like that, trash it.
Trash it without even trying to open it.
It's just not worth the hassle.

If it does not open normally, it is probably
some virus or worm and could really
make life difficult.
So, when in doubt, trash it.
There is plenty of normal mail that opens
without hassle.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Clean Bathtub with Powdered Dish Detergent: 

When your bathtub really gets grimy looking and the 
bathroom cleaners don't seem to be working, try a 
scrubby sponge and a bit of powder dish washer soap. 
It doesn't scratch, but it will get things super clean.

By Lynn from WV 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
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vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking 
at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with 
yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting 
is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked 
across it. 

Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand 
your paintings." 

"I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. 

"Try Alka-Seltzer!" 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200   
to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out   
of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the   
operator, and reverses the charge and says to his father,   
"Dad, I hate to ask, but I need to borrow 200 dollars."   

At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you,   
son, I think there may be a bad line."   

The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!"   

"Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father.   

The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, But I can hear him   
perfectly clearly."   

The father says, "Good. YOU send him the money!"  

» Stary Critters



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 20



Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1600 Battle of Sekigahara sets Tokugawa clan as Japan's 
  rulers (shoguns) 
1803 US Senate ratifies the Louisiana Purchase
1813 German Kingdom of Westphalia abolished
1817 1st Mississippi showboat leaves Nashville on maiden voyage
1818 49th parallel established as the border between US & Canada
1818 US & Britain agree to joint control of Oregon country 
1905 Great General Strike in Russia begins; lasts 11 days
1906 Dr Lee DeForest demonstrates his radio tube
1930 British White Paper restricts Jews from buying Arab land 
1944 30 blocks of Cleveland OH burn after a liquid gas factory explodes
1956 58ø F (15ø C), Esperanza Station, Antarctica (Antarctic record high) 
1968 Jacqueline Kennedy marries Aristotle Onassis
1973 OPEC oil embargo begins 
1983 IBM-PC DOS Version 2.1 released 
1990 3 members of 2 Live Crew acquitted on obscenity charges in Florida 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Human beings are the only creatures that allow
their children to come back home.
--- Bill Cosby

Like its politicians and its wars, society has the
teenagers it deserves.
--- J. B. Priestley

Home computers are being called upon to perform
many new functions, including the consumption of
homework formerly eaten by the dog.
--- Doug Larson



These days, with all the emphasis on one's physical fitness, 
a new organization has sprung up called 
"Athletics Anonymous." 

When you get the urge to play golf, tennis, go power-walking 
or bicycle riding (or anything else involving a type of physical 
activity), they send someone over to watch TV with you 
until the urge passes. 



How to Place New Employees in a Proper Department
Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and
put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave
them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the
end of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them
to Finance.

If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send
them to Consulting.

If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot
for them.

If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer
Information Systems is their niche.

If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for
the Help Desk.

If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put
them into Purchasing.


If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests,
Public Relations would suit them well.

If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical
Documents team.

If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign
them to Security.

If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send
them to Marketing.

If they are sleeping, they are Management material.


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!


Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People.
151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. 
Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is 
A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare 
Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And 
Weight Loss. Sure To Please!  Get the Revolution Cookbook now!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Kendall Remsing, 35, in New Llano, La.

Charged With Incest After He Was Shot 
In Face By 15-Year-Old Stepdaughter

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Kendall Remsing, a 35-year-old Louisiana bonehead was jailed 
Wednesday on incest charges after he was shot in the face by 
his 15-year-old-step daughter.

According to the Vernon Parish Sheriff's Office, an 
investigation was launched in late May after police received 
a 911 call stating that a 15-year-old girl had shot her 
stepfather in the face.

Deputies who arrived on the scene took the girl into custody 
and charged her with attempted second-degree murder.

Remsing was transported to Byrd Regional Hospital where 
he was stabilized and then flown to Rapides Regional Medical 
Center where he remains in stable, but critical condition.
(Mug shot is from a previous arrest)

During the investigation, however, Remsing was now been 
accused of molesting a juvenile family member. Additional 
evidence was gathered that corroborated the allegation, 
according to detectives.

Remsing has been charged with aggravated incest and 
molestation of a juvenile. His bond has been set at $100,000.



Tech Support Pits
From: Fred
Re: Can't get rid of RealPlayer files

AS Always---HELP!!!

I downloaded some not bad, but stupid stuff to my Real PLayer---
Now I want to get rid of it.
But when I send it to the trash I get this---

Cannot delete---Make sure Disk is not full or write protected 
or not in use????

I have completely removed Real Player from My PC, but the 
files are still on my desk top---I am attaching one--- 

Thanks.
Fred

Dear Fred
Are you referring to Real Player program files, 
or to music and movies ?

To get rid of realPlayer, you have to do it through the 
Program Manager or with the Secure Uninstaller, which gets 
rid of stuff that the Program Manager can't. In case you still 
have not got the Secure Uninstaller, it is still at
http://webby.com/uninst

Nowadays you pretty well need that, because so much stuff 
is too sneaky for the Program Manager.

However, if you mean just music and movies, log on as 
Administrator and then dump them. If you were too lazy to
save the files into a folder made for that purpose, and just 
littered them onto the desktop, then quite possibly they are
"OWNED" by the Administrator, and can't be deleted by a
mere User. 

If you have trouble logging on as administrator, save all openfiles,
close all open programs, Hit SMD (Save My Desktop) and then 
rudely pull the plug.

After plugging in again, Windows will ask you, if you want to
start up in Safe Mode. In Safe Mode you are automatically the 
Administrator. As Administrator you can delete anything you want.

Keep in mind that Safe Mode quite likely messes up your icon
arrangement. That is why it is important to hit SMD before you 
do that.

In some cases, uninstalling a program like RealPlayer with the
Program Manager or Secure Uninstaller
does not unlock the data files until you reboot. 
Real reboot, not just restart.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use an Empty Can as a Utensil Holder When Cooking: 

Here is what I use to prevent spilled mess on my counter when 
I am cooking. I usually use more than one utensil when I am 
cooking but never know where to place them during the cooking 
time as I am still using them. Well, since I usually use some type 
of canned goods with all my meals, I came up with the 
following idea.

I rinse the can that I used, then I use it as a utensil holder while 
I am cooking. Once I am done cooking, I place the utensils in 
the sink, rinse the can again and recycle it. So it's kinda like 
recycling it twice. The bonus is that it saves a mess to clean 
off my counter or a plate.

By tomnsaby from Albuquerque, NM 

Cans are too light and get knocked over too easily, plus they 
don't have space for ladles and flippers. I use a heavy Pyrex
1 liter measuring cup half full of water.  Even with an 
assortment of wooden spoons and ladles it never gets knocked
over.

The water adds weight and keeps food from hardening on the
utensils.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



The fourth-grade class was studying the development of
the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role
played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased
production costs. At the end of the unit, she gave a
test including the question: "What did Henry Ford invent
that made buying a car more affordable?"

One of the brightest students in the class wrote:
"0% financing."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


On a recent radio station appearance, "Uncle" Larry Reeb
was asked, "Are you a college man?"

He replied, "Nope.  I stayed HOME and got drunk at home.  
I couldn't afford that $20,000 cover charge."

» Stary Critters



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



During the evening, in the middle of work, suddenly the lights
went out. No warning blink, no brown blink, just click, gone.
All the street lights, as far as I could see, were out too.

The only lights still working were the solar lights on a bower
at my northern neighbor, and the solar Christmas lights from 
last year still on a tree in my southern neighbor's yard.

Fine, I figured, I'll sneak off for a nap! 
So as not to get too carried away, I flicked the switch for 
the big ceiling light in the bedroom.

I don't have time to sleep a lot, so when I do go horizontal,
I am sound asleep usually just about the time I pull a cover
over my shoulder. 

Fifteen minutes later I got woken up by the light and various
clicking and popping sounds as the power came back on, but
kept tripping the auto-reset town breakers. That is really 
hard on hard drives, but after four clicks the breakers held
and the power stayed on. So much for my nap.
Well, lots of work to do so I went bat to it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
125 -BC- Start of Era of Tyre 
1812 Napoleon begins his retreat from Moscow
1872 World's largest gold nugget (215 kg) found in New South Wales
1912 Tripoli (Libya) passes from Turkish to Italian control 
1933 Berlin Olympic Committee vote to introduce basketball in 1936 
1944 US forces land in Philipines
1950 UN forces entered Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea
1951 Pres Truman formally ends state of war with Germany
1960 The US imposes an embargo on exports to Cuba 
1967 Mariner 5 makes fly-by of Venus
1977 Supersonic Concorde jet's 1st landing in NYC
1987 US warships destroy 2 Iranian oil platforms in Persian Gulf 
1988 Senate passes bill curbing ads during children`s TV shows 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there
to appreciate it."
--- Franklin P. Jones



>From Simon
When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive   
both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly   
asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"   

"We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other,"   
I reassured him.   

"Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted.   

"Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I   
quipped.   

"Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom."



>From Kim:
In my job with a credit union, I often run across accounts
that are protected by password.

The credit-union member, when withdrawing funds, must 
produce identification and then give the password to the 
teller.

Recently, when I asked a woman for her password, she sighed,
rolled her eyes and replied, "SaveDagnabit."

I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband used that 
password so I that I have to say it every time I make a 
withdrawal."


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!


Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People.
151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. 
Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is 
A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare 
Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And 
Weight Loss. Sure To Please!  Get the Revolution Cookbook now!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Jennifer Wilcox, 36, Middletown, CT

Charged With DUI After Drinking 
lots of Hand Sanitizer

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Jennifer Wilcox, a 36-year-old Connecticut woman was jailed 
for drunk driving Monday after she allegedly drank half a bottle 
of hand sanitizer.

According to police, an officer had just pulled over another 
vehicle for a traffic infraction when a vehicle that was driven 
by Wilcox drove past the officer at a high rate of speed and 
ultimately lost control of her vehicle.

The officer approached Wilcox and detected a strong odor of 
alcohol coming from her person.

After failing a field sobriety test, Wilcox reportedly admitted
to consuming half of a large bottle of hand sanitizer prior 
to getting behind the wheel.

A typical bottle of hand sanitizer contains about 60% ethyl 
alcohol (or 120 proof). Drinking half of a large bottle of
 hand sanitizer would be equivalent to drinking 16 shots 
of vodka, according to experts.

Poison control centers across the country are reporting a 
spike in the number of cases that involve teens who drink 
sanitizer as a means to achieve a stolen buzz.

Mouthwash was abused in a similar manner until companies 
that manufactured the product lowered the alcohol content 
to discourage the practice.

A blood alcohol test later revealed that Wilcox was intoxicated 
at more than twice the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle.

Wilcox was booked into jail and charged with DUI. She was 
released after posting a $500 bond.



Tech Support Pits
:From: Lynne
Re: Logon Profile Error

I cannot access my laptop computer under myself. Only thru 
the guest port. The error message is "The user profile 
service service has failed the login. User profile cannot 
be loaded.

What I did just before this happened this morning was to go 
onto my desktop to remove some old icons. Each time the 
message came up saying that removal of this icon will not 
remove it from the computer.

Can you direct me to a source that can help me?

I am typing this from the "guest" port. Not sure you will 
get this.

I am away from home for 6 more weeks, so I don't have my 
desktop to help.
Lynne

Dear Lynne
I found this info at Microsoft:
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/947215

I hope that helps!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Laundry Detergent Caps For Bathroom Organizing

The house I live in does laundry a lot. And, they didn't 
recycle till I showed them the error of their ways.

So, instead of tossing these in the bin, I put them to good 
use. Here is an example of the things you can do with 
these wonderful lids!

Can you think of about a bazillion more?

By Poor But Proud from Sweet Home, OR 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a
policeman.

Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new
role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad,
but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Newly wed Angus McKenzie comes in to the room and says
to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on."

The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity,
replies, "Does that mean that you are taking me with you,
darling?"

Angus replies, "No.  I'm turning the off the heat."
--------------
I would not be surprised if she comes over here to borrow
a bible or warm up a bit.

» Stary Critters



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 18

>From Dr Bill
Re the Ass in the Well - similar tale I used when teaching 
History at Syracuse U. An apocryphal story:  
"Thales, the father of philosophy, postulating all matter 
as consisting of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water,  was getting 
along in years and his vision had gone bad.  One foggy 
night on Miletus, his donkey escaped.  

Grumbling, Thales threw on his grey philosopher's coat 
and went out into the mist calling for his donkey.  
A grey shape loomed before him and he dove at it - 
plunging himself accidentally into his well.  

Cold and Wet, he shouted until his Thracian maid found him 
and got him out - he returned shivering to his home,
blaspheming the Gods - 

This is a noteworthy event in History, in that it is the first 
recorded instance, though by no means the last, 
when a Philosopher didn't know 
his Ass from a hole in the ground."

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1016 Danes defeat Saxons at Battle of Assandun (Ashingdon)
1648 1st US labor organization forms (Boston Shoemakers)
1685 Louis XIV revokes Edict of Nantes, outlaws Protestantism 
1767 Boundary between Md & Pa, the Mason Dixon line, agreed upon 
1867 US takes formal possession of Alaska from Russia ($7.2 million) 
1890 John Owen is 1st to run 100 yd dash in under 10 seconds
1898 American flag raised in Puerto Rico
1908 Belgium annexes Congo Free State 
1944 Soviet troops invade Czechoslovakia during WW II
1962 US launches Ranger 5 for lunar impact; misses Moon
1967 Soviet Venera 4 1st probe to send data back from Venus
1968 Police find 219 grams of cannabis resin in John & Yoko's apt
1979 "Beatlemania" opens in London
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Language is the source of misunderstandings.
--- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.
--- Dandemis

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
--- Fats Domino



To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should
switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she
said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested
that she keep their regular container and refill it with
skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter 
asked one morning whether the milk was okay.

"Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been 
found out. "Why do you ask?"

The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration 
date, this milk expired two years ago!"



At a posh dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling
 the guests about his home country and himself.   
As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and   
understanding wife but, alas, no children."   

As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue,   
he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable."   

Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter:   
"What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable."   

As his companions seemed amused, he floundered 
deeper into the intricacies of the English language, 
explaining triumphantly, "That is, my wife, 
she is impregnable!" 


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!


Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People.
151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. 
Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is 
A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare 
Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And 
Weight Loss. Sure To Please!  Get the Revolution Cookbook now!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Brenda Crosdale, 49, Vero Beach, Florida

Woman Locked Out Of Car Called 911, 
Claimed Infant Was Trapped Inside 
To Get Quicker Response 

Reported by The Smoking Gun
Locked out of her car earlier this month, Brenda Crosdale, 
49, called 911 and claimed that an infant was trapped in 
the vehicle.

But when a sheriff’s deputy responded to a “priority one 
lockout” at Crosdale’s Florida home at around 9 AM on 
October 6, he “saw no child” inside vehicles parked in 
the driveway.

When Deputy Michael Cavanaugh asked a male on scene about 
the whereabouts of the infant, the man replied, “Brenda only said 
that to get you guys here quicker.

The deputy then questioned Crosdale inside her Vero Beach 
home, and “she stated she only said a child was inside her 
vehicle to get the vehicle open quicker,” according to an 
Indian River County Sheriff's Office report.

Crosdale, a nurse, was then arrested for misuse of the 
911 system.

Pictured in the above mug shot, Crosdale was briefly 
booked into jail, where she was released after posting 
$500 bond on the misdemeanor count. 

The report did not say whether the deputy busted open the 
childless car, or made her call a locksmith.



Tech Support Pits
:From: Diana
Re: Diskette error

Dear Webby
All of a sudden when I turn on my computer in the morning, 
a message pops up saying diskette drive failure  
When I press F1 it starts up ok.  I do not have a floppy disk.  
What is the message and how do I correct it?  I know if anybody 
can answer me, you can. 
Thanks loads for your newsletter, 
Diana 

Dear Diana
Sounds like your machine got infected with a really 
ancient virus.
Run a GOOD virus scan, like McAfee, and after that
reboot and look VERY carefully for a very brief message 
during boot-up,  before you get color. It will tell you something like
F12 for Bios

Whatever it is, hit that immediately, before you get color.
You may have to shut down and try again.
Once you are in the BIOS, you can disable the Floppy drive,
and set the boot-up priorities to
D: (CD)
USB
C:\

That way, you can boot up, if necessary, with the Set-Up CD 
or a rescue set-up on a thumb drive. You can even have a Penguin 
(Linux fanatic) put "Baby Linux" onto a camera chip and boot up
into Linux to salvage data, if Windows gets totally trashed by 
some virus. 

It will look for those first, and if those are not there, 
then it will go for the C: drive. If you try to save 2 seconds
of boot-up time and put C: first, the rescue drives are not
in the queue.

If you have trouble reading that grey on black message, get
some kid to watch it. A lot of  adults have trouble reading it.
Once you got it and know which key to hit to get into the bios,
you can put a dot of nail polish onto that F key.

A lot of machines even have a setting in the Bios, where
you can tell it how long to display that message. Smart-ass
kids often shorten that time to 1 or zero, and brag about
having tuned the machine to start up 3 seconds faster.
If you have a crimson dot on F12 or whatever it is for your
machine, that is no problem.

In summary: Take A: and B: out of the start-up drive list,
and if USB is in the list, make sure something is plugged 
into the USB port. A camera chip reader works fine.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Your Leaves As Winter Mulch

Have you mulched your leaves yet? After spending years raking 
up those fall leaves, I got pretty tired of having a second set of 
leaves fall from the Oak trees. I decided to make short work of 
the job by using my mulch mower and ran the mower over the 
leaves, which mulched them all and enriched my lawn happily 
at the same time. The lawn may not be as neat and tidy, but it 
sure will be happy having all that extra fertilizer on it, and it will 
be even happier next spring, and so too will you! Go mulch 
those leaves!

Source: Gardeners around the globe

By Kghornsten from Davis, CA 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



>From Ed
Our church was planning a chili supper for the homeless,
 and my wife, Florence, agreed to prepare four gallons of 
her rather mild variation. 
The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence 
how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. 

After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili
donations, my wife replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. 
Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, 
"I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." 

The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" 

The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats." 

» Amphibian Lament



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1492 Columbus sights isle of San Salvador (Watling Island, Bahamas) 
1829 Delaware River & Chesapeake Bay Canal formally opened
1855 Bessemer steelmaking process patented
1918 Yugoslavia proclaims itself a republic 
1931 Al Capone convicted of tax evasion, sentenced to 11 years in prison
1933 Albert Einstein arrives in the US, a refugee from Nazi Germany
1956 England's 1st large scale nuclear power station opens 
1961 NY Museum of Modern Art hung Henri Matisse's "Le Bateau" 
upside-down, It wasn't corrected until December 3rd 
1973 5-mo oil embargo by Arab states against US & Netherlands begins 
1977 Canada begins regular live TV coverage of Parliament 
1977 West German commandos storm hijacked Lufthansa in Mogadishu, 
Somalia freeing all 86 hostages & killing 3 of the 4 hijackers 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely 
once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
--- Abba Eban

"If money is your hope for independence,
 you will never have it. The only real security that a
man will have in this world is a reserve
of knowledge, experience, and ability."
--- Henry Ford



Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he
felt unwilling to spend much money.

"How much do they cost ?" he asked the salesperson.

"That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," said Morris the miser.

The salesperson put the device around Morris' neck. "You
just stick this button in your ear and run this little
string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" , asked Morris.

"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied.
"But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"



Two salesmen were going door to door. They knocked on the 
door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. 
She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear 
their message and then slammed the door in their faces. 

To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced 
back open. Seeing the two salesmen at the door frustrated 
her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut. 

But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door 
with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. 
But again, the door wouldn't shut. 

Convinced one of these rude salesmen was sticking a foot
 in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that 
would really teach them a lesson. 

Just then, one of the salesmen said, "Ma'am, before you do 
that again, you might want to move your cat." 


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!


Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People.
151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. 
Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is 
A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare 
Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And 
Weight Loss. Sure To Please!  Get the Revolution Cookbook now!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Ashley Stewart, 24, Streetsboro, OH

Charged With DUI After Speeding Down 
Wrong Side Of Highway

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Ashley Stewart, a 24-year-old Ohio woman was charged with 
drunk driving Saturday after she was caught speeding the 
wrong direction down a freeway at 3:17 in the morning.

According to Streetsboro police, officers were dispatched 
after receiving a report that a vehicle was traveling eastbound 
on the westbound side of I-480.

Investigators say officers activated lights and sirens after 
catching up to Stewart's vehicle as it continued down the 
wrong side of the highway.

Stewart allegedly ignored officers' attempts to stop her as 
the chase reached speeds of up to 80 miles per hour. The 
chase was finally brought to an end on State Route 41 near 
Shady Lake Drive when an officer pulled in front of Stewart's 
vehicle and forced her to stop.

Stewart then refused to submit to a breathalyzer test at 
the scene.

She was booked into jail and charged with failure to comply 
with the signal of a police officer and operating a vehicle 
while intoxicated.



Tech Support Pits
:From: Rndall
Re: Windows bugfix error 646

Dear Webby,
 For the last week or so i have been getting a update warning 
to update my laptop.So I click on the update button and it 
goes out to the update screen but then i get code 646  warning. 
the update didn't take effect. some kind of security update. 
And the update warning is still showing. I looked into the help 
and support queries but that is no help...I know you have the 
answer i am looking for ...love your news and jokes..keep 
up the great work...have a good week.
Radall

Dear Randall
Do you have an HP (or Compaq or eMachines) laptop?

646 is a bug in the bugfix.
A fix for buggy bugfix is at 
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2258121

Microsoft says that might possibly work.
If it doesn't, they say you can try re-installing Microsoft 
Office and wait for the  next update in November. 
They will get organized really soon, they hope.

Personally, if you have McAfee running, then there is no 
need to panic. It will catch anybody trying to get in through 
the holes in Office.
Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Freezing Eggs:

Until a good friend shared this tip with me, I did not know 
that fresh eggs can be whisked together and frozen for up 
to six months. I have been doing this for over a year now.

I buy large eggs when they are on sale in the 18 pack cartons. 
I keep out about six for use in the fridge and then whisk together 
whites and yolks of the remaining 12 eggs until just combined.

I then measure them into my ice ice-cube trays, using 3 Tbsp. 
of the mixture per segment (3 Tbsp. is equivalent to 1 large egg).

Freeze until solid, then transfer cubes to a freezer bag 
for up to 6 months. Don't forget to date the freezer bag. 
When ready to use take out one or more and thaw in the 
refrigerator.

By Bobbie G from Rockwall, TX 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The animal
cried pitifully for hours as the farmer tried to figure
out what to do. Finally, he decided that the donkey was
old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it
just wasn't worth it to retrieve the animal.

He invited all his neighbors to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey cried horribly. Then, to everyone's
amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the
farmer looked down the well and was astonished; with every
shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it
off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued
to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off
and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the
donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The
trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a
step up.  Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get
out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!
Shake it off and take a step up!

Enough of that!  The donkey later came back and kicked the
last three meals out of the farmer who had tried to bury him.

Moral: When you try to cover your ass,
it always comes back to get you.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Two Jewish men are on a train across Poland, each on his
way to meet a prospective bride on the other side of the country.
Halfway there, the first turns to the second and says,
"Forget about this whole marriage thing. I just don't like the idea."

So he gets off at the next stop and makes his way back home.
Meanwhile, the second man continues on and is met at the final
destination by the mothers of the two prospective brides.

When the mothers realize what has happened, they instantly
begin to fight over whose daughter should wed this precious man.
"He's mine!" cries one.

"Not on your life," cries the other, "He will marry my daughter!"

After bickering for a while, the man and the two mothers
decide to go the local rabbi and ask him to resolve the situation.
In the grand tradition of the ancients, the rabbi replies,
"Well, there is only one solution to this problem. Cut the boy in half,
and you each take half home with you."

At this, the first mother looks shocked, while the second mother
grins and cries emphatically, "Yah! Cut him in half!!"

The rabbi points to the second mother and says,
"THAT is the real mother-in-law.
Case closed."

» Hit Tunes of Lily Pad Hoppers



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 16

I was trying to find a name and mug shot of a Bus driver in
New Berlin, Wisconsin, but their local media plastered 
pictures and name and address of her victim all over, but
frantically protected the evil driver,
who is now sorry, that she lost her job.

I did find out the first name of the bus driver: Carol
She did not like the fact, tht a 12 year old kid was not
an Obama fan like her, and told him that his mother
should have chosen abortion for him.

To say that to a 12 year old kid is deep down evil, 
and the school bus company fired her. However,
to issue a Bonehead Award I need a picture and
full name.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1775 Portland, Maine burned by British
1781 Washington takes Yorktown 
1876 Race riot at Cainhoy SC (5 whites & 1 black killed) 
1923 Disney Co founded 
1925 Texas School Board prohibits teaching of evolution
1926 Troop ship sinks in Yangtze River, killing 1,200 
1941 Germany advances within 60 miles (96 K) of Moscow
1946 10 Nazi leaders hanged as war criminals after Nuremberg trials
1962 Cuban missile crisis began as JFK becomes aware of missiles in Cuba 
1964 Brezhnev & Kosygin replace Krushchev as head of Russia
1964 China becomes world's 5th nuclear power 
1978 Polish Cardinal Karol Wojtyla elected pope-John Paul II 
1985 Intel introduces 32-bit 80386 microcomputer chip 
1990 US forces reach 200,000 in the Persian Gulf 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits
with my net income.
--- Errol Flynn

Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you 
have tried to make it precise.
--- Bertrand Russell

There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot 
make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person 
who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey.
--- John Ruskin



The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
"Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions
of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise,
it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are
small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"You're dumber then buffalo pies. 
Someone stole tent."



Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. 
In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti 
sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried 
about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. 
She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her 
concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again. 

That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest 
volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the
 guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. 
They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out." 


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Nicole Boover, 19, New Orleans, Louisiana
Nathan Yuhas, 18, New Orleans, Louisiana

She Wanted Her $500,000 Inheritance Now 
Attempts To Shoot Mother Dead

Reported by The Weekly Vice
Louisiana State University students Nicole Boover, 19, and 
Nathan Yuhas, 18, were jailed Monday after Boover allegedly 
agreed to pay Yuhas $50,000 to assist her in murdering her 
own mother.

Boover, police say, was after a $500,000 inheritance which
 she planned to receive from her mother's death.

According to New Orleans police, Boover planned to shoot her 
mother and then profit from her mother's death. She offered to 
give Yuhas a $50,000 cut of her inheritance if he would help 
with the murder plot.

Boover and Yuhas purchased gloves, duct tape, and a "Scream" 
styled Halloween mask in preparation for the shooting.

Investigators say Boover knocked on her mother's apartment 
door at around 4:30 a.m. and smiled innocently through the 
door's peep hole. When Boover's mother opened the door, 
she saw Boover pointing a gun at her.  Mrs. Boover slammed 
the door shut as Boover fired three shots into the door.

Boover fled the scene with Yuhas and drove back to the LSU 
campus. Boover's step-father called police and reported the 
incident. Officers found Boover's car on the LSU campus, with 
Yuhas sitting inside of it. Boover was found in her dorm room. 
Both suspects were apprehended.

Boover was booked into the New Orleans Parish Prison and 
charged with attempted first-degree murder. She is currently 
being held in lieu of a $500,000 bond. She was unable to 
afford a lawyer, and was assigned a public defender.

Yuhas was booked into the New Orleans Parish Prison and 
charged with being a principal to attempted first-degree murder. 
He was released after posting $100,000 bond.


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and affordable video converting software.
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Tech Support Pits
:From: Mary Lou
Re: Internet Explorer stuck on 404

Dear Webby,
I am having trouble gettig my "Internet Explorer" to perform 
it's duty.  How can I get it back on track? 
When I try to open it, i tells me it canot display the web site/page. 
Did I ask you this once befor? Please excuse me if I am 
repeating a request, but you are so brilliant, I thought I'd 
ask in case I failed to conact your expertise.
   ML

Dear Mary Lou
Somehow your start / home page got changed to some weird 
address, that is no longer available.

When it gives you that error message, type into the address bar:
http://webby.com/humor

After that it should be OK again.

You might also have to edit the start / home page, and put an 
address in there, that will be guaranteed working, like the 
address of the Humor Letter.

Quite likely you installed some flakey program, that put their
own site as your start / home page into Internet Explorer,
but because they are so flakey, they got shut down, and since
then you get a 404 (page not found). 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Smash Nuts for Baking:

Do you ever need finely crushed nuts in your recipe, but 
only have whole walnuts in your cupboard? No problem! 
An easy way I discovered to crush the nuts is to place 
them on a large sheet of wax paper, fold the wax paper over 
the top of the nuts and use a rolling pin to crush the nuts, 
pushing down and rolling. No mess, no fuss, and easy!

By Linn from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



Two fathers-to-be met in the maternity waiting room.
"Can you believe this? The first day of our vacation,
and she goes into labor!"

The second one looks at the first and says, "What do
you have to complain about? This is our honeymoon!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


If  GH    can stand for    P    as in    Hiccough

If  OUGH  can stand for    O    as in    Dough

If  PHTH  can stand for    T    as in    Phthisis

If  EIGH  can stand for    A    as in    Neighbor

If  TTE   can stand for    T    as in    Gazette

If  EAU   can stand for    O    as in    Plateau

Then the right way to spell POTATO should be:
"GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU"

» Worth 1000 Collection



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 14

Usually the weather warms up nicely in the second half of
October. This year that has started right after the snow 
earlier this week. 

On my walk I checked the fruit and veggie stands. Sometimes 
they lower their prices on Saturday evening, so that they 
don't have to pack up or toss stuff, that has been out for 
a while.

Fruit was out of my budget, but I managed to get three
cobs of corn for a dollar! It was tempting to head straight
home after that, but I did complete a 3 mile round. Not
as good as the 4-mile route, but good enough.
The first of those cobs sure tasted great!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1066 Battle of Hastings, in which William the Conqueror wins England 
1586 Mary Queen of Scots goes on trial for conspiracy against Elizabeth 
1834 1st black to obtain a US patent, Henry Blair, for a corn planter 
1884 George Eastman patents paper-strip photographic film 
1922 1st automated telephones-Pennsylvania exchange in NYC 
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel commits suicide rather 
   than face trial for his part in an attempt to overthrow Hitler  
1947 Chuck Yeager in Bell XS-1 makes 1st American supersonic 
   flight (Mach 1.015) 
1949 14 US Communist Party leaders convicted of sedition
1950 Rev Sun Young Moon liberated from Hung Nam prison 
1953 Ike promises to fire as Red any federal worker taking 5th amendment 
1969 Race riots in Springfield Mass
1971 2 killed in Memphis racial disturbances 
1982 6,000 Unification church couples wed in Korea
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



All speaking is public speaking 
whether it's to one person or a thousand.
--- Roger Love

It is healthy to be reminded that
the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.
--- Mahatma Gandhi

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody
endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
--- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)


 
A new forestry graduate receives his first 5-year posting 
way out in the middle of a huge forest with no people 
around for miles.  Much to his surprise, included in
the survival gear that they give him, is a recipe for 
matzo balls.

When he asks why he's receiving a matzo ball recipe, he is told,
"Sometime, a few years down the road when the solitude *really*
starts to get to you, you'll pull out this matzo ball recipe and
start to mix it together.  "Within five minutes you'll have a half
a dozen Jewish women hovering over you telling you what 
you are doing wrong!"
--------------
Hmmm, maybe I should try that. There must be lots of matzo
ball recipes on the web. But first I am going to have to
shoot some matzos!


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 


 Betsian Penaloza, 34, in San Juan, Puerto Rico

 Fatty The Maneater - Charged With Pimping 
Out Teen Daughter For $500

Reported in The Weekly Vice
Betsian Penaloza, a 34-year-old Puerto Rico woman has been 
jailed after she allegedly pimped out her 14-year-old 
daughter for $500.

According to federal authorities, Penaloza offered to sell 
her own 14-year-old daughter and two other underage 
girls to an undercover federal agent during a human 
trafficking investigation in Puerto Rico.

Investigators say Penaloza brought her daughter and two other 
girls to the Sheraton Hotel at the San Juan Convention Center 
for the planned sexual encounter.  Penaloza allegedly demanded 
$500 for sex with her daughter and $250 for each of the other 
two girls.

Penaloza, who goes by the nickname "Fatty the Maneater," is 
also accused of prostituting other young girls and may face 
additional charges as the investigation continues.

A list of charges was not immediately available. Penaloza 
remains in jail pending her initial hearing.


VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly
and affordable video converting software.
It allows you to convert video files to
various key video formats,
and lots of audio file formats as well.
Under $10 for a lifetime license!



Tech Support Pits:
From: Lynn
Re: MSIE Link

Dear Webby,
How can I put a link to a website that I use a *lot* in the
Int. Explorer toolbar?  I tried dragging the URL into a
blank spot in the toolbar, but it didn't work  (That's the
way I do it in Firefox which I use most of the time; but
this one particular website will only work correctly in
Internet Explorer.)

Thanks for any help you can give; love your humor letter!
--Lynn

Dear Lynn
With IE the easiest way is to drag the icon from the
address bar onto a blank spot on the desktop or drop
it onto a desktop folder.

You CAN enable links in the top bar, and drag it to there,
but space there is limited, and if you narrow the window,
those links are often hidden.

Personally, I prefer the first method and have a few
shortcuts to thematic folders along the left margin of
the desktop. For example, a music folder, a graphics
folder, etc. The reason for using shortcuts to folders,
instead of desktop folders, is that you can change the
icons for shortcuts, but all desktop folders look the same.

In W7 that bug got fixed and you can change the icons
for desktop folders.

You can, of course just drag it onto the desktop, and leave
it visible there for anybody who walks by.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reuse Cake Mix Bag For Decorating:

When I make cupcakes from a cake mix, I always save the bag. 
I rinse the bag out, dry it, clip a corner and insert a decorating tip 
inside. It makes a perfect disposable frosting bag and these 
bags are super strong.

By norulesart from Sunny Florida 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

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Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



In Jerusalem, a CNN journalist heard about a very old man
who had been to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day,
each day, for a long, long time, and so she decided to
check it out.  She went to the Western Wall and there he
was!  She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes,
when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN.  Sir, how long have you
been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years!  That's amazing!  What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and Muslims.
I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children
 to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a stupid wall."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.  To get rid of his old 
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free 
to good home.  You want it, you take it".  

For three days the fridge sat  there without even one person 
looking twice at it.  He eventually decided that people were 
too un-trusting of this deal.  It looked to good to be true, 
so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50".  

The next day someone stole it.  
Caution!  These people Vote

» Snow  Quilts



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 12



Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1483 Rabbi Issac Abarbanel starts his exegesis on the Bible
1860 1st aerial photo taken in US (from a balloon), Boston 
1919 Race riot at Elaine Arkansas 
1943 Italy declares war on former ally Germany
1953 Burglar alarm-ultrasonic or radio waves-patented-Samuel Bagno 
1964 Voskhod 1 crew returns
1987 1st military use of trained dolphins (US Navy in Persian Gulf) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



"Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 a piece 
on those little bottles of Evian water? 
Try spelling Evian backward." 
--- George Carlin 

"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and   
rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things   
worth writing." 
--- Benjamin Franklin


The following is a quote from a director of sports infor-   
mation in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots   
from the Naval Academy by Army rivals:   

"We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through   
two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was   
an unlocked gate." 


 
"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea.
E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."


Back by popular demand!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Erica Hess,  24, in Daytona Beach, Florida

Jailed After Toddler Daughter Found 
Walking On Roof Of Two Story Home
Daytona Beach, Fla. 

Reported in The Weekly Vice
Erica Hess, a 24-year-old Florida woman was jailed Tuesday 
after her toddler daughter was found walking on the roof of 
her two-story home.

According to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office, deputies 
were dispatched at around 10 a.m. after a witness called to 
report that a toddler was walking on the roof of a neighbor's 
home.

Deputies arrived to find a dog on the roof and Hess's 
2-year-old daughter standing on an adjacent deck dressed 
only in underwear.

The deputy reportedly watched as the toddler tried to crawl 
back onto the roof through a barrier that surrounded the 
deck.

The deputy made several verbal attempts to alert the 
homeowner of the impending danger while staying within 
sight of the child. Erica Hess reportedly came out onto 
the deck about 15 minutes later to remove the child.

Hess told the deputy that she was unaware that her daughter 
had climbed onto the roof. She claimed to have had an 
unobstructed view of the child at all times, but later 
admitted to losing track of the child while using the 
bathroom.

Hess was booked into the Volusia County Jail and charged 
with one count of child neglect. She has one previous arrest 
in Volusia County for driving on a suspended or 
cancelled license.


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and affordable video converting software.
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and lots of audio file formats as well.
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Tech Support Pits:
From: RJR
Re: eml

Dear Webby,
When I try to open certain emails that have the extension
.eml I am getting the error box that says "this file does not
have a program associated with it...etc." and to create
one under settings, folder options.  When I check there I
do see EML already listed.  Does this have something to
do with AOL sent emails?  I recently removed Earthlink, 
which is when I began seeing this error.

Thanks for any ideas.  Have a happy Thanksgiving.
R. J.

Dear RJ
That's just a virus masquerading as an Outlook Depressed
message. That is why some of us have called Outlook
Depressed a "Virus Magnet" for many years. It opens that
stuff!

Turn on the settings for showing all extensions, even known
ones, and for showing all hidden files. Probably that file
was actually something like "password.eml.pif" but the
second extension was hidden.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Water Plants With Leftover Tea

Don't throw out your leftover tea. I
nstead feed it to you indoor or outdoor plants for an 
extra boost. Use brewed unsweetened tea only.

By Ivy from Rancho Palos Verdes 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian   
said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this   
turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my   
guilt?"   

"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must   
return it to the one from whom you stole it."   

"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what   
should I do?"   

"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to   
keep it for your family."   

Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.   

When confession was over, the Priest returned to his   
residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that   
someone had stolen his turkey.   




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


>From Bonnie
I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking
powder on the top shelf of a cabinet.  Being only five feet
tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box.
Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom
I often call to come to my rescue.

"Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the
living room.
"Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?"

"Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen.
"But next time, I'd prefer the title, 'Your Highness'."

» Snow goes the Goose



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Woke up to a white wonderland. It had snowed overnight, 
and cooled off considerably. No chance of it melting before
I had to walk to the other end of town to see an optometrist.
My freezing ears remionded me that summer is definitely over,
and that there is no Gullible Warming in Alberta.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1285 180 Jews refuse baptism in Munich Germany, they are set on fire 
1492 Columbus arrives in the Bahamas; the real Columbus Day
1823 Charles Macintosh of Scotland begins selling raincoats (Macs)
1860 British & French troops capture Peking
1918 1st use of iron lung (Boston's Children Hospital) 
1933 John Dillinger escapes from the Allen County, OH, jail
1941 Russian govt moves from Moscow to Volga as Nazis close in on Moscow
1942 US navy defeats Japanese in WW II Battle of Cape Esperance 
1960 Nikita Khrushchev pounds his shoe at UN General Assembly session 
1977 Psychic Romark attempts to drive blindfolded, smashed into cop van 
1984 IRA bombs hotel where Margaret Thatcher is staying 
1988 Israel & China sign trade deal, plan diplomatic relations
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Only the shallow know themselves.
--- Oscar Wilde

When a person can no longer laugh at himself,
it is time for others to laugh at him.
--- Thomas Szasz



A rabbi was called to a Miami Beach Nursing Home to perform a 
wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The rabbi sat 
down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. 
"Do you love her?"

 The old man replied, "I guess." 

"Is she a good Jewish woman?" 

"I don't know for sure," the old man answered. 

"Does she have lots of money?" asked the rabbi. 

"I doubt it." 
"Then why are you marrying her?" the rabbi asked.

"She can drive at night," the old man said 


 
When the aged president of the company was out of town,
half a dozen of his senior executives got together to plan
some way to ease the old coot out of the driver's seat.
To their horror, the executive VP's secretary buzzed him
halfway through the meeting to inform him that the
president had come back early and was on his way to
see him.

"If he catches us all here he'll know exactly what we're
up to," cried the VP. "Quick, you five jump out the
window!"

"But we're on the thirteenth floor," protested the treasurer.

"Jump!" yelled the VP. "This is no time for superstition!"


Back by popular demand!
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or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Raymond Garcia, 45, Roswell, New Mexico

Jailed After Getting Into Brawl With 
Stop Sign, Fighting Officers

Reported in The Weekly Vice
Raymond Garcia, a 45-year-old Roswell man was jailed Friday 
after he allegedly got into a fight with a stop sign, then attacked 
police officers who had been dispatched to break up the 
altercation.

According to Roswell Police, officers dispatched to Main 
Street and West Deming at around 2:30 a.m. after a witness 
called 911 to report that a man was engaged in a fight with 
a stop sign,

When officers arrived on the scene, Garcia became 
argumentative and attempted to flee. Two officers shot 
Garcia with Taser darts, however Garcia kicked and 
fought officers as they attempted to apprehend him.

Officers attempted to use a Taser on Garcia a second 
time, however, he pulled the darts out and continued to 
resist.  One officer attempted to use a baton to subdue him, 
however, Garcia reportedly grabbed the baton and swung 
it at officers.

When officers tried to use pepper spray on Garcia, he wiped
 his face and ran away - throwing the baton at officers as he 
fled.

Eventually, Garcia was tackled and subdued by three officers.

Investigators believe that Garcia had used drugs prior to the 
incident, however, none were found on his person. 
The stop sign was not seriously injured in the attack.

He was booked into the Chaves County Detention Center 
and charged with aggravated assault against a peace 
officer, disarming, and resisting arrest.


VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly
and affordable video converting software.
It allows you to convert video files to
various key video formats,
and lots of audio file formats as well.
Under $10 for a lifetime license!



Tech Support Pits:
From: Maria
Re: Camera bolt

Dear Webby,
I can't find that 1/4 inch by 20 bolt, that you specify for
holding my camera. Is there a metric equivalent, 
that could be used?
Thanks
Maria

Dear Maria
If you force a similar metric bolt into that soft mounting
hole, no tripod bolt will ever fit again. Not a good idea!

You can probably find a cheap table-top tripod at a
Dollar Store or at a camera store for under $10.
Then just glue that onto your telescoping pole.
Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Water Plants With Leftover Tea

Don't throw out your leftover tea. I
nstead feed it to you indoor or outdoor plants for an 
extra boost. Use brewed unsweetened tea only.

By Ivy from Rancho Palos Verdes 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



Charlie  made an appointment with a urologist, famous for
his work in the field of impotence. The doctor examined him
and said, "You're in remarkably good condition for a man of
85. Why are you here?"

Charlie replied, "My friend Max says he has sex twice a week.
I can't do that."

The doctor shrugged. "Yes you can. You can certainly SAY
you have sex as many times a week as you like."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.

"In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a
positive.  In some languages, such as Russian, a double
negative is still a negative."

"However," the professor continued, "there is no language
wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up.  "Yeah, right."

» Snow goes the Goose



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 11

Thank you, Ray!

>From Dr Bill
I enjoy reading the tips you give because people are 
apparently doing things with their computer that I know 
nothing about - however, I found a free word processor 
some years ago which I have found to be the easiest, 
most reliable program I ever used, and I write and save a 
lot of stuff - it is called "Jarte" - you might like to share it
 with folks who aren't into the highly complex stuff that 
many appear to be addicted to.
Bill

I have not used Jarte, but it looks quite impressive!
It is available free at http://jarte.com
Jarte might be ideal for people, who just want a simple word
processor or have limited space. You CAN put Jarte onto a
camera chip or key-fob drive, and use it on different machines,
for example home and work, or when visiting relatives. You
don't have to install it on those alternate machines, and as
far as I can tell, it won't leave any traces on those machines..

Thanks Dr Bill!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1737 Earthquake kills 300,000 & destroys 3/4 of Calcutta, India 
1797 British naval forces defeat Dutch off Camperdown, Holland
1811 The Juliana, the 1st steam-powered ferryboat
1923 German mark falls to 10 billion per Pound, 4 billion per $
1945 Chinese civil war begins, Chiang Kai-Shek vs Mao Tse-Tung 
1968 Panama revolts
1991 Anita Hill testifies Clarence Thomas sexually harrassed her 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



"Our dead are never dead to us,
until we have forgotten them."
--- George Eliot



>From Dave:
Best Out Of The Office messages:

1.  I am currently out at a job interview and will reply 
to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my 
mood.

2.  You are receiving this automatic notification because 
I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't 
have received anything at all.

3.  I will be unable to delete all the silly emails you send
me until I return from vacation on October 30th. 
Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order 
it was received.

4.  Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been 
charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each 
additional word in your message.

5.  The e-mail server is unable to verify your server 
connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please 
restart your computer and try sending again.  
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see
how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6.  Thank you for your message, which has been added 
to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, 
and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7.  I've run away to join a different circus.


 
>From Senna
One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school 
nurse's office. 

When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, 
curlers in her hair, green mudpack on the face, wearing 
pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. 

"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything 
to embarrass me, I would embarrass him worse. 
He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend 
the day with him!" 


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!


Apparently the link to the movie of the Solar Sneeze did
not work for some email programs.
Try this link: 

Solar Sneeze High Def Movie



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Keegan Curry, 25, in St. Petersburg, Florida

Struck By Car While Fleeing 
From Loss-Prevention Officer

Reported in The Weekly Vice
Keegan Curry, a 25-year-old St. Petersburg man was hospitalized 
after he allegedly shoplifted from a local J.C. Penny retail store 
before he was struck by a car while fleeing the scene.

According to St. Petersburg police, Curry was stopped by a 
loss-prevention officer after he attempted to leave a J.C. Penny
 retail store without paying for items he had concealed inside 
his pants.

Curry pushed past the officer and stated "I'm not going back 
to prison" as he attempted to flee the scene.

Investigators say the officer and a bystander chased Curry 
as he ran onto the northbound lane of a busy road and was 
struck by a 2005 Chrysler minivan.

As rescue crews attempted to treat Curry's injuries, they 
removed two shirts from his pants that he had stolen from 
the store.

Curry was taken to Bayfront Medical Center where he 
received treatment for severe injuries. The driver and 
front passenger inside the minivan were not seriously 
injured.

Curry will be hauled to jail when he is discharged from 
the hospital.


VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly
and affordable video converting software.
It allows you to convert video files to
various key video formats,
and lots of audio file formats as well.
Under $10 for a lifetime license!



Tech Support Pits:
From: Amy
Re: Tall tripod

Dear Webby,
I need a really tall tripod or something, to take pictures
above the heads of a crowd. My camera does have a swivel
monitor, so that I don't have to be up there myself.
What is the solution, and where can I get it?
Amy

Dear Amy
Tripods and crowds do NOT mix. Everybody will either
trip over it's legs or kick them.
You need a "stick".
Get a telescoping shower curtain rod,
a 1 inch long 1/4" by 20 bolt and a 1/4" wingnut,
plus some two component epoxy.

Roughen one end of the curtain rod with sand paper and
clean it with rubbing alcohol, then epoxy the bolt onto it,
with the head of it on the end of the rod. Use more than the 
absolute minimum of epoxy and make it look nice and smooth.

When the epoxy is hard, thread the wingnut onto the bolt, with 
the wings pointing towards the rod. Now you can thread the 
camera onto the bolt, until it just barely bottoms out.
Then turn the wingnut up towards the camera and lock it.
With the wingnut you can use a bit of force, but not with the
bolt intio the camera.

The telescoping rods can usually be locked by twisting them,
and you can fix it for whatever height you need that day.
If yours does not lock, you can force it to a few popular height
levels and drill small holes through it. A small screw through
both the outer and inner pipe will lock it. 

A lengthwise paint stripe on both pipes will really help for
lining up the little holes. You don't have to thread the holes,
the spring in the pipe has more than enough tension to 
hold the screw securely.

Some people glue a cross or an "L" bracket onto the pipe
for really smooth panning.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Pringles Cans for Storage

Besides making the solar hot dog cooker that I've seen on 
several sites, I use Pringles containers for storing the plastic 
bags we get from stores. Then, I have a portable dispenser 
for plastic bags to store in car, hunting and fishing gear, and 
for gardening (for holding produce while harvesting and for 
gifting excess produce to others).

By Clydecito from Western Kansas 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes! 
Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently 
vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in
one place, without having to go there separately for each..


5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



Doctor Bloom who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis had a
waiting room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over
in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her walker. When her turn came,
she went into the doctor's office, and, amazingly, emerged within half
an hour walking completely erect with her head held high. 

A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the
little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half
and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?" 

She answered, "Miracle, shmiracle . . he adjusted my walker." 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Jackhas died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out
Jack's Last Willand Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the
house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave
my Big Lexus,the Jaguar and my business. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my
yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted
that health is better than wealth, I leave my collection of vitamines." 

» The last straw



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 10

>From Frank
Hi Webby
Re: Winzip eats drive space
Or just use 7zip (www.7zip.com) which is free!!
Cheers
Frank

I have used 7zip. 
It does work, but it definitely requires changing habits
and reading instructions. Probably to avoid copyright suits,
they use a different user interface. 
If you are willing to read the instructions, the 7zip will
work well for you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1780 Great Hurricane of 1780 kills 25,000 in Caribbean 
1846 Neptune's moon Triton discovered by William Lassell 
1868 Cuba revolts for independence against Spain
1874 Fiji becomes a British possession 
1911 Sun Yat-sen's revolutionaries overthrow Manchus 
   (Taiwan Nat'l Day) 
1913 Gamboa Dam in Panama blown up; Atlantic & Pacific waters mix 
1914 German forces route Belgians in Antwerp Belgium (WW I) 
1933 1st synthetic detergent for home use marketed 
1938 Germany completed annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland 
1963 Treaty banning atmospheric nuclear tests signed by US, UK, USSR
1970 Fiji gains independence from Britain (National Day) 
1975 Liz Taylor's 6th marriage (re-marries Richard Burton) 
1979 Panama assumes sovereignty over Canal Area (ie Canal Zone) 
1987 Bruce Springsteen releases his 9th album "Tunnel of Love" 
1991 Ex-postal worker Joseph Harris kills 4 postal workers
1991 Greyhound Bus ends bankruptcy 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
--- Dave Barry

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. 
Every class is unfit to govern.
--- Lord Acton, 1881

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
--- Friedrich Engels

"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday 
but never remembers her age." 
--- Robert Frost 



A man was burglaring a house in the middle of the night. 
All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out.
"Jesus is gonna get you." 

The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot 
cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." 
The robber started to get a little worried.
"What's your name, birdie?"

"Moses."

"What dummy named you Moses?"

"The same dummy who called his Rottweiler Jesus."


 
A man was sued by the mayor for defamation of character.
She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was
found guilty and fined.

After sentencing he asked the judge, "This means that I
cannot call Mrs. Allmond a pig?"

The judge said that was true.

"Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Allmond?" the man
asked.

The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig
Mrs. Allmond with no fear of legal action.

The man looked directly at Mrs. Allmond and said,
"Good afternoon, Mrs. Allmond."


Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes?
Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and
quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise.
Huge discount if you act now!




Click on the picture for the large version
Solar Sneeze. Note the size of the earth!
Earth is not really at that location, just shown for size 
comparison. The mass of the sneeze is tens of thousands 
of times the mass of earth.


Movie of the sneeze
You may have to visit the on-line version of the 
Humor Letter to see it.

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Cesar Alcivar, 40, in Clearwater, FL

Jailed for Impregnating 12-Year-Old Girl after 
Sexually Molesting Her For More Than A year

Reported in The Weekly Vice
Cesar Alcivar, a 40-year-old Florida man has been jailed 
after he allegedly impregnated a 12-year-old girl after 
repeatedly molesting her for more than a year.

According to Clearwater police, an investigation was launched 
after a 12-year-old girl was brought to the emergency room 
complaining of stomach pain, but was found to be pregnant 
instead.

Investigators say the girl's mother brought he girl to a 
Clearwater area hospital after she complained of chronic 
stomach pain. Doctors performed tests, however, that 
revealed she was pregnant.

The investigation that followed revealed that the girl had 
endured more than a year of sexual abuse beginning when 
she was just 11 years old.  The victim identified the suspect 
as 39-year-old Cesar Alcivar.

Alcivar was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and charged 
with capital sexual battery. Bond has not yet been set in 
the case.


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Tech Support Pits:
From: Nora
Re: PPS files that won't open

Dear Webby,
People send me PPS files all the time, often with really
beautiful pictures. Sometimes, however, I get an error about
Open Office not loading password encrypted Microslop
Powerpoint presentations. I guess somebody is trying
to rub it in, that they had the money to buy the full Microslop
Office. 

I don't have that kind of money and use Open Office.
Usually, it seems, people password stuff after they slobber 
religious or dogooder quotes onto good pictures. 
Is there a way around that childish passwording of PPS
files?
Nora

Dear Nora
You can go to my tool box at http://webby.com/tools
and grab the Microsft Powerpoint READER. That one is free.
Depending on the type of passwording, you can only view
the PPS, but can't take the slobbery comments off. 

To make it editable, you have to send it to somebody, who
has the full version of Microsoft Office. They can save it in
editable mode.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Pringles Cans for Storage

Besides making the solar hot dog cooker that I've seen on 
several sites, I use Pringles containers for storing the plastic 
bags we get from stores. Then, I have a portable dispenser 
for plastic bags to store in car, hunting and fishing gear, and 
for gardening (for holding produce while harvesting and for 
gifting excess produce to others).

By Clydecito from Western Kansas 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

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5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger
This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff,
that you won't keep up anyway."
These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey 
MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, 
reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body.
Give "Old School - New Body" a try!



A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day when
she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $50
bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift
from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention
was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed
stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent.

She couldn't get him off her mind and thinking that he might
be in financial difficulties. She took the $50 bill and
wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written,
"Don't despair, Sister Eulalia."

She threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up, read it,
looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and
went off down the street.

The next day she was in her room saying her prayers when
she was told that a man was at her door who insisted on
seeing her.

She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger
waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll
of bills.

When she asked what the bills were for he replied,
"That's the four-hundred bucks you have coming.
Don't Despair paid 7-1."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


My sister, went to the department store to check out the   
bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up   
soon.  When my sister returned from the store, she tossed   
the gift list on a table and declared, "I think she's too   
young to get married."   

"Why do you say that?" I asked.   

"Because," she said, "they registered for Nintendo games." 

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