Is MS Office ODF compliant? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, October 31.
Happy Halloween!

Thank you, Larry!

Today the second last of a box of those Chinese spiral bulbs
burned out and I had to insert the last one. The claim, that 
they would last longer than incandescent lightbulbs is 
obviously a lie.

They might save some electricity, but due to their much 
higher cost, don't seem to be worth it. Once their price
comes down to the same as regular lightbulbs, I will try
them again.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. --- John Updike If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. --- Sam Snead Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one. --- Bishop Sheen It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. --- Mark Twain
>From Alf I had worked late, and my Labrador was so overjoyed to see me arrive home that he jumped up just as I leaned down. Our heads collided, and I sported an impressive shiner for several weeks. I had to repeat frequently to co-workers and friends how I came by it, and one day on the elevator, a secretary whom I hadn't seen for some time looked at my black eye and ex- claimed, "My goodness, what happened to you?" "The dog did it," I wearily replied. A man standing next to us looked over at me and said knowingly, "Ahh, he must be a boxer."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A feisty 70 year old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor. "Labor charges!" she exclaimed. "It took you five minutes." The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call. "Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor," the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.
Click on the picture for the large version Russian tow-truck
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sergio Irey, 21, Sarasota, Floriduh Deadbet son got mother jailed after she gave him some well deserved slaps Reported by The Smoking Gun According to Sergio Irey’s mother, the 21-year-old Florida man is unemployed, lives at home rent-free, does not help out with household chores or bills, has allowed his college grades to plummet, and “spends all his time with a girl who is a bad influence on him.” Sergio’s loafing does not sit well with Rocio Irey, 45, who has explained to her son that he “needs to get his life on track, straighten up, get a job and start helping around the house,” police report. Police report this because last night Rocio and Sergio were arguing about his reported layabout ways in her Sarasota home. Rocio told a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputy that she became angered at her son “because he was not listening to her, he was back talking to her and he was being disrespectful by interrupting her and ignoring her.” So a frustrated Rocio slapped her son across the face twice, explaining, “I slapped him because he was being disrespectful to me, I’m his mother.” Sergio, who later acknowledged his churlish behavior, responded by calling the cops on his mother because he “became scared of her and didn’t know what else to do.” Sergio is more than a head taller than his mother. Though Sergio was uninjured by the slaps, Florida state law required that “the aggressor be arrested” for domestic battery. So Rocio was handcuffed and transported to the county jail, where she remains locked up. With his mom behind bars, it is unclear who will make Sergio’s bed or his lunch today. Hopefully his mother is smart enough to change the locks as soon as she gets out. Tech Support Pits From: Renata Re: Is Microsoft Office Open Document Standard compliant? Dear Webby, Is Microsoft Office Open Document Standard compliant, or are they being left behind? Renata Dear Renata Microsoft Office 2013 is Open Document Standard compliant. MS Office 2010 is partially compliant. Older versions are not. 2013 and 2010 versions are still too expensive and difficult to justify. Until they have come down in price on eBay and Amazon, just use Open Office or Office Libre or Corel Office. If you grew up with WordPerfect, you are going to love Corel Office. It is the same thing, just a new owner. And it still includes Quattro! I use it every day to do the graph with the votes for the top 4 and the page views. 9 fields daily, for a year, is no problem for Quattro and does not slow it down one bit. If your needs are not that critical, try Open Office. You won't be alone. 1,127,539 Downloads this Week, and it's only Wednesday. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Taking Good Pet Photos The best way for me to take photos of pets is next to a big window. It's always a good detraction, and you can control how much light comes through, with filters and shutter speed. By Paw Prints Pet Grooming from Sweethome, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of wheat on the road. The farmer that lived nearby came to investigate. "Hey, Willis," he called out, "forget your troubles for a while and come and have dinner with us. Then I'll use the tractor to help you turn the wagon upright." "That's very nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Dad would like me to." "Aw, come on, son!" the farmer insisted. "Well, OK," the boy finally agreed, "but Dad won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked the host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Dad's going to be real upset." "Don't be silly!" said the neighbor. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon," replied Willis.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said:"I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head spinning and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a theater to see Star Wars - more hot dogs, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant the dress size!"

» Street Art

Today, Oct 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of t
 he Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start 
 of the Protestant Reformation in Germany.
1864 Nevada became the 36th state to join the U.S.
1868 Postmaster General Alexander Williams Randall approved 
 a standard uniform for postal carriers.
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers 
 (Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria).
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy.
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis 
 resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been 
 damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in 
 the stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture 
 Houdini had commented on the strength of his stomach 
 muscles and their ability to withstand hard blows.
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain 
 prevented Germany from invading Britain.
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years 
 of work. At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents 
 George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt 
 and Abraham Lincoln were finished.
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed 
 by a German submarine near Iceland. More than 100 men 
 were killed.
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb.
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began 
 a revolt against French rule.
1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not 
 marry Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend.
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person 
 to land an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became 
 the first American to set foot on the South Pole.
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, 
 TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the 
 time he was in Moscow, Russia.
1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was 
 removed from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display.
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to 
 all U.S. bombing of North Vietnam.
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as 
 Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.
1981 Antiqua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain.
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during 
 the U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane 
 had mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital.
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated 
 near her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, 
 Rajiv, was sworn in as prime minister.
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns 
 had been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles 
 Taylor were blamed for the murders.
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72 
 plunged into a northern Indiana farm.
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to 
 life in prison after being convicted of second-degree 
 murder in the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She 
 was released after her sentence was reduced to manslaughter.
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, 
 MA, killing all 217 people aboard.
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran 
 Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of 
 Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal 
 dispute over the nature of faith and salvation.
2013  smiled


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Why Open Office? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, October 30.
Thank you Jim for your special postcard!

From Judi (re snap.do)
Thank you.  I just used the link for the download to get 
rid of it and it seemed to have worked.  When I opened 
Chrome again it was gone.
 
You saved the day again.
Judi 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve. Run around with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened. --- Stanley Walker
A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Did you find that unusual??" "Yes," she replied, "I found it very unusual ...because he hated the book!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

Thanks to Bob for this story: My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he were in fact "cheating" on her. I asked my wife if she would ever do that. She said, "Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you."
Click on the picture for the large version 2 ravens
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Courtney McPhillips, 26, Scranton, PA Jailed After Officers Find 35 Packets Of Heroin Stashed Inside Her Vagina Reported by The Weekly Vice Courtney McPhillips, a 26-year-old Pennsylvania woman, was jailed Thursday after she was allegedly caught with 35 packets of heroin stashed inside her vagina. According to Scranton Police, an investigation was launched after a police informant told detectives about a local drug ring, and identified McPhillips and a male friend for their involvement in the operation. The pair were under investigation when an officer stopped McPhillips' gold minivan after she failed to stop at a stop sign. Investigators say officers searched McPhillips' minivan and recovered 12 packets of heroin and several prescription pills from a plastic cigarette case located inside the vehicle. McPhillips and her passenger, 27-year-old James (Jimmy) Walsh, were found with fresh needle marks in their arms and slurred speech. As the search for drugs continued, McPhillips was found to have 35 glassine packets of heroin stuffed inside her vagina. During a police interview, McPhillips told detectives that Walsh handed her the drugs and told her to hide them when they noticed that a patrol car was behind them. Walsh admitted to owning the heroin that was found in the car, but stated that he never instructed McPhillips to take it or hide it. McPhillips was booked into jail and charged with possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia. Her bond was set at $25,000. Walsh was booked into jail and charged with delivery of a controlled substance and possession with intent to deliver. He was also taken into custody for violating his parole. He remains held in lieu of $50,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Marina Re: Why Open Office? Dear Webby, You mentioned Opne Office quite a bit, and I have seen it mentioned in many computer magazines, that are not too thick with Microsoft ads. What's the story about it? Marina Dear Marina If you had a company with 500 or 5000 employees, would you buy 500 or 5000 Microsoft Office licenses, or would you tell somebody to download Open Office, have them customize it for your company and let everybody copy that from the company site? The same applies to many Governments all over the world. Even though the very persuasive microsoft salespeople have fantastic incentives to offer, the current budget crunch makes it easy to resist them. Small town Governments usually fall for the incentives, that are for the buyer, who doesn't really give a hoot about the town budget, however larger towns tend to switch to Open Office or Office Libre. Office Libre (Free office) is similar, but gets updated more frequently. This is especially the case with countries, where the Government has switched to Linux. For reasons of reliability, 99.999% of web servers are using Linux, With Linux, instead of buying new machines with differenc copies of Windows to annoy the users, updates are just to the under-the-hood stuff, and the user interface never changes. That eliminates a lot of cussing and tech support demands. Open Office and Office Libre run just fine on Linux too, not just Windows. Since more and more of industry, commerce and governments have switched to Open Office, the workers of course get the same free programs for home too. Because a large part of Microsoft office is loaded during the Windows start-up, -that is why it takes so long-, opening a spreadsheet or document is fast, compared to using Open Office for that, but other than that small inconvenience, Open Office is a very popular alternative. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cherry-Banana Cake Ingredients 1 1/2 cups sugar 1/2 cup vegetable shortening 1 tsp. vanilla 2 eggs 3/4 cup mashed bananas 2 cups sifted flour 2 1/2 tsp. baking powder 1/4 tsp. salt 1/2 cup maraschino cherries, chopped and well drained 1/4 cup milk Directions Cream the sugar and shortening until fluffy. Beat in the vanilla, eggs and bananas. Sift the dry ingredients, combine with the cherries, and add alternately with the milk, beating well after each addition. Bake in a 9x13 inch pan for about 45 minutes in a 350 degrees F oven. By Robin from Washington, IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
"So," the woman asked the detective she had hired,"did you trail my husband?" "Yes ma'am. I did. I followed him to a bar, to an out-of-the-way restaurant and then to an apartment." A big smile crossed the womans face, "Aha!! Then I've got him!" she said, boasting. "Is there any doubt what he was doing?" "No ma'am." replied the sleuth, "It's pretty clear that he was following you, and taking pictures for his web site!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
From today in 2006 (some of the characters in this have since died) Thanks to Paul for the minutes of the Democratic National Convention 7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning. 7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N. 7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton. 8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging. 8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding -- Barney Frank Presiding. 8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan -- Susan Sarandon. 9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender--Jacques Chirac 9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund 9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay. Sean Penn 9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton 9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presents Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore 9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 10:00 P.M. How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers-- Howard Dean 10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad 11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet 11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War Criminals--John Kerry 11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton 12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast 12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

» Orca Pods

Today, Oct 30, in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established 
 by Simon Bolivar.
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton 
 County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave 
 uprising in American history.
1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS 
 radio. The belief that the realistic radio dramatization 
 was a live news event about a Martian invasion caused 
 panic among listeners.
1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe 
 rationing.
1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel 
 Peace Prize.
1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a 
 force of approximately 58 megatons.
1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation 
 to increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion.
1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as 
 dictator Francisco Franco was near death.
1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline 
 "Ford to City: Drop Dead." The headline came a day 
 after U.S. President Gerald R. Ford said he would veto 
 any proposed federal bailout of New York City.
1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped 
 pro-Solidarity priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death 
 was blamed on four security officers.
1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 %
 of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York.
1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space, 
 performed the world's first animal dissections in space, 
 while aboard the space shuttle Columbia.
1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian 
 President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's 
 military still in control.
1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in 
 a referendum concerning secession from the federation 
 of Canada.
1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane 
 and the 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist 
 squads raided the plane.
2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw 
 out the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between 
 the New York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks.
2013  smiled


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Fake Open Office 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 29.
I had to drive to High River to see my heart doctor today.
After having lived in the Yukon for 30 years, a bit of snow
on the road was no problem, but it sure seems to have been
for some people, especially in the area, where it was foggy.

In the afternoon it cleared up. The large hoar frost crystals
on the snow looked magnificent in the afternoon sun. Sure  was
cold, though, walking against the wind. It was about -16 and the 
wind was 30 - 40, and carrying frost crystals, that it tore off
trees and bushes. I sure was glad to get to a warm home at 
the end of my one hour walk.

While walking I wondered if there is a light bicycler or 
jogger version of a full-face motorcycle helmet. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) Conceit is God's gift to little men. --- Bruce Barton Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. --- Henry David Thoreau
Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?" "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?" Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So, are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

Overheard at a Computer Store: "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it's got to be simple enough so that his father can play it, too."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Damon Michael Miljour, 36, Fort Myers, Floriduh Traded His Harley For A Jail Cell And A Realistic New Halloween Mask Reported by The Weekly Vice Damon Michael Miljour, a 36-year-old Florida man, was jailed Thursday after he allegedly stole several items from a surf shop before polishing the pavement with his face while fleeing the scene. According to the Lee County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched to the area of Bonita Beach road Thursday after witnesses called to report a motorcycle crash. When deputies arrived on the scene, they found a black Harley Davidson motorcycle lying on the road with an obviously injured Miljour nearby. Investigators say Miljour was rushed to Lee Memorial Hospital where he was treated for his injuries. Deputies also noticed something suspicious while processing the scene. Several retail items which appeared brand new with the store's retail tag still intact. Among the items, deputies found sunglasses, wrist watches and high end shoes. Deputies checked out the store, Mango Bay, and discovered that a side window to the shop had been smashed out. Inside the store, several merchandise items were scattered as if someone had rummaged through the merchandise looking for items of value to steal. Deputies contacted a store manager who confirmed that the items belonged to his shop and had not been purchased. The total value of the stolen items was estimated at $10,000. Detectives then visited Miljour in the hospital, who claimed he didn't remember anything before waking up in the hospital. Miljour was booked into jail and charged with burglary, grand theft, and since he couldn't remember anything, he obviously was DUI. Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Fake Open Office Dear Webby, I noticed that the writer mentioned installing Open Office and then found their computer was infected. I went to a site that offered Open Office some months ago. It looked like an official site, but the download attempted to install a lot of unwanted stuff. (my antivirus program and superantispyware went crazy trying to stop the infections) I ended up having to do a system restore to a couple of days earlier to solve the issue. Only go to Apache Open Office at http://www.openoffice.org/ to get this program. Never install from a cd purchased from ebay as many of them as well as alternative sites are filled with malware. Neil Dear Neil I agree 100%. For Open Office go straight to http://www.openoffice.org/ and nowhere else, no wmatter whether some site promises to be a faster and nearer mirror. If you use Libre Office, the real home is at http://www.libreoffice.org/download/ For Spybot-Search&Destroy, their home is still at http://www.safer-networking.org/dl/ Re that Snap-do virus, do NOT go to SpyHunter or fixbrowsers.com, even though the bozos at Ask.com have it top listed. Obviously, they don't have a clucking fue. That SpyHunter is probably the worst piece of monkey-crap I have come across in a very long time. If you tried even a bit of it, you need to do a sytem-restore. Or try to. To get rid of Snap-do or Snap.do, the best answer is at Techsupportall.com Even though the Engrisch there is not ready for opera, the technical advice is excellent. By the way, where he mentions google.com for Home site, take that as a quick example. It you have your local TV station or the Humor Letter as your normal HOME site, put that URL in there. He used google.com just as a quick example, to avoid having to type this much. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freshening Sour Laundry When a load of wet laundry got left in the dryer for a week the smell was horrendous. I soaked the whole load in the washer overnight with a cup of vinegar in the water, then drained it and rewashed with laundry soap. As good as new! By Linda Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in SICK yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An American couple was driving in Canada and got lost. Finally, they drove into a city. They saw a gentleman on the sidewalk, so the husband pulled the car up to the curb. His wife rolled down her window and asked, "Excuse me, sir, we're lost. Can you please tell us where we are?" The gentleman on the street replied, "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan." The lady rolled up the window, turned to her husband and said, "We really are lost. They don't even speak English here."

» The Kungur Ice Caves:

Today, Oct 29, in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that 
 had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy 
 against King James I.
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be 
 an independent commonwealth.
1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was 
 the founder of Pennsylvania.
1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded.
1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, 
 was electrocuted.
1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution 
 of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, 
 later known as Kemal Ataturk.
1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the 
 Wall Street stock market.
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. in
 anticipation of WWII.
1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went 
 on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price 
 of $12.50 each.
1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez 
 Canal Crisis.
1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use 
 close-circuit television.
1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional 
 fight.
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to 
 all school segregation.
1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. 
 He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting 
 him over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season.
1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding 
 discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex 
 or marital status
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's 
 regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages 
 during its occupation of Kuwait.
1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit 
 an asteroid (Gaspra).
1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to 
 pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President 
 Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power.
1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the 
 Food and Drug Administration.
1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn 
 on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first 
 American to orbit the Earth.
1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for 
 $2 million at a New York auction.
2013  smiled


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How to get rid of Snap-Do infection 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 28.

It's still snowing, horizontally, and the bathroom window 
on the North is covered solidly. On the South side there are
adventurous looking snow drifts. No Gullible Warming in 
Alberta!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures. --- Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852) Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives. --- Cookie When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking... I Gave Up Reading --- Cookie
Their were three men in the hospital waiting room anxiously expecting news any minute about the births of their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says I have great news. Your wife has just given birth to twins. The man exclaimed. " Well, that all right. I work for Double Day." The nurse goes to the second man and says, "I have great news for you too. Your wife just gave birth to triplets." The man says, with great surprise,"Well that's all right. I work for Triple A." The nurse goes up to the third man. But before she could say anything, he shouted, "I work for Seven-Up! Worked! I am outa here and off to Mexico!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids who went into his watermelon patch everynight and ate their fill. After some thought he posted a sign that read "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH LAXATIVE!" The next night he smiled smugley as he watched the kids run off without eating any of his melons. A week later he was surveying his field and to his satisfaction,no melons were missing but a sign next to his read,"NOW THERE ARE TWO."
Click on the picture for the large version Sorrento, Italy
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jerrika Carey, 34, Louisville, KY Jailed longer After Officer Finds Pack Of Smokes And Lighter Hidden Inside Vagina Reported by The Weekly Vice Jerrika Carey, a 34-year-old Kentucky woman, has been jailed after she allegedly packed cigarettes and a lighter into her vagina and attempted to sneak them into jail. According to police, Carey was being processed into jail last week when the jail's body image scanner alerted to a foreign object hidden inside her genital area. When officers asked Carey about the object, she told them she had a lighter hidden inside her vagina and then reached into her pants to remove it. Carey was then whisked away to a strip search room where a female officer removed a crack pipe from her clothing. Officers then retrieved the lighter and a pack of cigarettes from her vagina. Carey was charged additionally with promoting contraband, possession of drug paraphernalia and tampering with physical evidence. Tech Support Pits From: Trish Re: Snap.do infection Dear Webby, I now have a brand new computer, very sadly it’s windows 8, starting to come to terms with it (well sort of) and downloaded a couple of ’things’. I got my new precious computer from a big name store in Australia, it’s a HP and as I said windows 8. Along with one of these downloaded ‘things’ came something nasty, squidoo’ and ‘snap do’. The only things I have downloaded are Belark Advisor, Open Office and ccleaner, there is no other way these programs or whatever they are called could have gotten on my computer, they appeared the day I downloaded Open Office. I’m still having a hard time working out this windows 8 {only had it less than a week} but I know I have to get rid of these nasties, I’ve had Belark Advisor and ccleaner (paid version) for ages on your advice (still don’t know how to get paid version back) so think it must have come with Open Office, I looked on internet and saw that there are lots of ‘get rid of snap do’ can you have a look and let me know which if any are safe and if I was to get rid of open office would the nasties go too (I don’t think so). Thanks in advance if you can help, Trish Dear Trish Squidoo is legitimate. http://www.squidoo.com/ It may not be necessary for you, if you don't want to put web sites together, but it doesn't cause any problems. If you don't need it, don't use it. It's as simple as that. Most likely it was pre-installed by HollowPeckers. If Squidoo put a toolbar on top of FireFox, just unclick it. Snap-Do is a malicious virus, that hijacks your browser. That one was probably put on by somebody at the computer dealer messing around with demo machines. I doubt that HolowPeckers put that one on. It is also distributed by email. If you don't have McAfee or some similar protction, it can slither into your computer quite easily. Snap-do or Snap.do is really nasty. It hijacks and redirects your browser, and sends your browsing log to marketers. Whoever put it onto your machine, gets paid a kickback for it. To remove it: Add/Remove Programs list in Control Panel (Start -> Control Panel -> Add/Remove Programs). In the list search for apps related to Snap.do and then choose ‘Uninstall’. Also remove Snap.do from your browsers: Internet Explorer: Tools -> Internet options -> General tab. Enter your desired website to make it the default homepage. Google Chrome: Settings -> Appearance. Enter your desired website to make it the default homepage. Mozilla Firefox: Options -> General tab -> Startup. Enter your desired website to make it the default homepage. Delete any folder related to “Snap.do” from the following folders: ProgramFiles AppData ProgramData LocalAppData Stay away from Fixbrowsers.com and SpyHunter. That is phony Bait & Switch stuff and might be even worse. SpyBotSearch&Destroy from my Toolbox at http://webby.com/tools will probably get rid of snap-do as well, but since my machine is not infected, there is no way to try that and be sure. It is a good guess, though. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Circle Template Being an avid crafter, I often make projects that require a circle cut from something. I would search through the house, finding an item that was the correct size circle, such as a can of soup. I finally took a few moments one day and armed with scraps of cardboard I had saved from empty cereal boxes and such, (one never knows when one needs a piece of cardboard!), I roamed through my rooms tracing different size circles onto the cardboard. I then measured each and wrote the size inside the circle. I cut them all out and keep them as templates. Now when I need a circle of any size, it's right there within reach. Works great! By maryeruth from Palm Coast, FL You can get a 12" machinist's divider at industrial supply stores and most of the better hardware stores. They are just large compasses with one end pointy and the other end a sharp little blade. You use the pointy end in the center, and the knife end for the outside of the circle. At one time the "firm joint" type was cheaper, but nowadays the spring loaded screw adjust types are cheaper. Either one works fine. You can, of course, tape a pen or sharpie or pencil to the outside end and draw the circumference, instead of "scribing" it. They are made for machinists to cribe (scratch) lines and circles for their lay-out, but work fine for any project. The flat scribing knife is hard enough to scribe a clean and easily visible line on most metals, plastic leather and wood. For fabric and foam tape a pencil or sharpie to the scribing end. A divider also comes in handy for dividing linear measurements and scratch off whatever lengths you set it. You will be surprised how handy it is, and how much fun real precision is. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one. "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' by my climbing spurs upside down from a telephone pole during a lightning storm."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A pastor was preaching an impassioned sermon on the evils of television. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife mumbled, "and it sure is cozy in there with the TV repairman!"

» Royal Tyrrell Museum

Today, Oct 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the 
 American Revolutionary War.
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin.
1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor 
 by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons 
 and is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty 
 Enlightening the World."
1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to 
 use fingerprinting.
1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known 
 as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed 
 in 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the 
 U.S. Constitution.
1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government 
 and introduced fascism to Italy.
1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece.
1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that 
 he had ordered dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba.
1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of 
 collective guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, 
 was completed.
1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President 
 Richard Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, 
 to begin serving his sentence for Watergate-related 
 convictions.
1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution 
 "deeply deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada.
1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, 
 pled guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union.
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces 
 the abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume 
 distribution of the drug after the government of France 
 demanded it do so.
1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called 
 for a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military 
 leaders.
1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that 
 all the troops there would be home by Christmas.
2013  smiled


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Is mailwasher any good? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 27.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. --- George Bernard Shaw The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us. -- Quentin Crisp
Two guys are walking down the street and one is telling the other how he hates Slobovians, but when they turn the corner there is a Slobovian organ grinder with a little monkey holding a tin cup. The guy who hates Slobovians puts some coins in the monkey's cup. When they walk away his friend says, "I thought you hated Slobovians yet you gave him money?" And he answers, "Yes, but they are so cute when they are little."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she explained. "Oh, and it took a while to fix it," said the passenger. "Not exactly." replied the stewardess, "It just took us a bit to find a deaf pilot."
Click on the picture for the large version Wouldn't you just love to work there?
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dawn Weiser, 44, Springdale, AR Jailed After repeatedly stabbing husband for snoring, wheile he slept Reported by The Weekly Vice Dawn Weiser, a 44-year-old Arkansas woman, has been jailed after she stabbed her husband repeatedly because he was snoring. According to police, officers were dispatched to the couple's home after 43-year-old Doug Weiser awoke around 3:30 a.m. to find his wife repeatedly stabbing him with a butcher's knife. Investigators say the victim wrestled the knife away from his wife before the couple's two teenage sons came to his aid. The victim told detectives that he and his wife had argued that evening about his snoring, prompting her to sleep in a bedroom with one of their sons while he slept alone in the couple's bedroom. Dawn Weiser told detectives that she awoke to a loud noise during the night and walked in to find her husband with stab wounds. She went on to insist that an intruder was responsible for the stabbing, despite the evidence against her. Investigators say Dawn later confessed to stabbing her husband and then hiding the knife. The issue of snoring had apparently annoyed Dawn to a point where she began mentioning it on various social media sites like Twitter. Dawn Weiser was booked into the Washington County Detention Center and charged with suspicion of attempted murder. She was released after posting $25,000 bond. The victim was taken to a local hospital where he was treated for a punctured spleen, a lacerated liver and three stab wounds. He filed for divorce a few days later, according to court records. Tech Support Pits From: Bobbie Re: Is the mailwasher any good? Dear Webby, Dear Webby, you have been advertising MailWasher for a few years now. Do you use it yourself, and is it any good? Bobbie Dear Bobbie Yes, of course I use it. I don't advertise it because I get about the price of a coffee every time somebody buys it after clicking on the link. I recommend it because it drastically reduces help requests related to junkmail. These days I get around 4800 pieces of mail per day. MailWasher reduces that to the 120, that I need to see and answer. I have been using the same addresses for almost 20 years and by now every spammer has them on their lists. Without MailWasher I would have to change addresses once a year, and use those wimpy Captchas, forcing you to punch in hard to read characters, just like companies, whose admins are not smart enough to get MailWasher. Mailwasher deletes the spam right on the server, unseen, in the dark. I just see the cleaned mails. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cover Garden At Night To Protect Against Early Frost When it's time for frost to hit and we still have veggies that are still producing, we drape sheets or blankets over the veggies before dark. Then when we get up in the morning before the sun is fully out, we take the sheets or blankets off, so as to not bruise the veggies or give them black spot, especially on the tomatoes. By Betsy from Hoagland, IN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jake bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. His friend Abe said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," Jake replied. "But where in the heck was I gonna find a fake Jeep?"

» It's Harvest Time

Today, Oct 27, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
 first Quakers to be executed in America.
1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of 
 San Lorenzo.
1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in 
 New York City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, 
 the other seven failed.
1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed
 of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George 
 "Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence 
 to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted.
1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was 
 the first rapid-transit subway system in America.
1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis.
1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in 
 New York.
1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 
 26' 2 1/4".
1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its 
 new synthetic yarn.
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They 
 had been married on January 14, 1954.
1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by 
 calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis in 
 Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect 
 of the agreement.
1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S. 
 prison population had exceeded one million for the first 
 time in American history.
2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of 
 Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected 
 leftist leader.
2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy 
 FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second 
 largest banking company in the U.S.
2013  smiled


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What happened to Playa Cofi ? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 26.
Looks like the snow is not going to wait until Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." --- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." --- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." --- A congressional candidate in Texas "Half this game is ninety percent mental." --- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --- Bill Clinton, US President "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --- Keppel Enderbery "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 19 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. --- William Feather
An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An electric company worker handed him a piece of paper stating that the electric company would like to run a power line through his cow pasture. The Amish man said, "No, no you can not." "Legally, that paper says we can." replied the gruff worker. As he turned and left returning to his co-workers in the field, the Amish man went to his barn and turned his bulls into the pasture. As the 1200 pound bulls rumbled toward the workers in the field, the Amish farmer hollered, "Show them your paper!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Merseyside, Liverpool. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Merseyside Regional Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on immigration issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in the community.
You may have seen that famous picture of a little bird riding on an eagle. This is probably the first time you see what that is all about. Thanks to Jon Winslow for the great pictures! Click on the picture for the large version Here you see a furious Kingbird chasing an eagle, who had picked up a dead fish, possibly one landed by the Kingbirds. Click on the picture for the large version Here the Kingbird has landed and started his woodpeckering on the eagle. Click on the picture for the large version Here the Kingbird is woodpeckering right on the skull of the eagle. Click on the picture for the large version Same as picture #3, just zoomed closer. The eagle gave up the fish half a mile from the Kingbird's nest.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Singletary,33,Spartanburg, SC Jailed After Assaulting Ex Reported by The Weekly Vice Jennifer Singletary, a 33-year-old South Carolina woman, was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly beat her ex-boyfriend in the face and then crushed his testicles because he wouldn't let her come inside his home. According to the Spartanburg County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched to the home of Sonny Dolquist in response to a reported domestic disturbance that was occurring at the residence. When officers arrived on the scene, they were met out in the front yard by Singletary who appeared "extremely intoxicated." Singletary reportedly told the officer that she had been "hit" but she couldn't identify where she had been hit. The officer also checked her for injuries, but couldn't find any. The officer then went inside the residence to find Dolquist bleeding from the mouth. Dolquist told the officer that he and Singletary had lived together for two years until she recently moved out. He added that Singletary agreed to meet him at the house to pick up the last of her things at about 4 p.m., but didn't show up until about 8 p.m.. Dolquist told the officer that he had placed Singletary's items on the front porch, however, she demanded to come inside the residence. When Dolquist refused Singletary's demand, she reportedly pushed her way inside and began throwing things. That's when Singletary allegedly punched the victim several times in the mouth before squeezing his testicles "until they bled." A third party witness inside the residence told the officer that he saw Singletary assault the victim. A male companion who had arrived at the home with Singletary told officers that he saw Dolquist pick Singletary up and attempt to throw her out onto the porch. Officers checked Singletary again and still found no sign of injury on her. Singletary was booked into jail and charged with domestic violence. Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: Why does the COFI jukebox no longer work? Dear Webby, Why does the COFI jukebox no longer work? Randall Dear Randall Just like me, they depend on donations to pay he server costs. Apparently they did not get enough to pay the cost. Most of their files are at http://www.tropicalglen.com/ The organization is different and may take a bit of getting used to, but the music is there, Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Have an Organized Priced Sale Make sure everything is organized and has a price tag on it. Before opening your sale, be sure everything is put out to be sold. As customers move through and buy, straighten things back up, and keep everything neat. Please, no boxes full of clothes that are hanging over the sides. Hang clothes on hangers and price. Be courteous, friendly, and helpful when questions are asked about a particular item. Have fun, and be ready to negotiate prices when appropriate. By redderbell from Bernice, LA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented: "Your pastor is sure a lot friendlier than mine!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap. " The next day the dog arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with 10 children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Wish it was that easy for me!"

» 15 Great Critters:

Today, Oct 26, in
1825 The Erie Canal was opened. The 363-mile canal connected
 Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of $7,602,000.
1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine.
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, 
 AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and 
 Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang.
1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden.
1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of 
 Santa Cruz during World War II.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. 
 The battle was won by American forces and brought the 
 end of the Pacific phase of World War II into sight.
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage 
 from 40 to 75 cents an hour.
1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner
 from New York City to Paris.
1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile 
 Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the 
 U.S. agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter 
 missiles in Turkey.
1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 
 26 years on the Peacock Throne.
1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared, 
 "Peace is at hand" in Vietnam.
1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to 
 death by Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central 
 Intelligence Agency.
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, 
 announced it was halting the worldwide distribution of 
 RU-486. The pill is used to induce abortions. The 
 French government made the company reverse itself 
 two days later.
1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American 
 icebreakers. The whales had been trapped for nearly 
 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack.
1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to 
 reach 2,000 points.
1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts 
 of defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S.
 Congress. Dean was a central figure in the HUD scandal.
1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime 
 Minister Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a 
 peace treaty.
1995 Alec Baldwin got into a fight with a paparazzi 
 in front of his home when he and his wife Kim Bassinger 
 were bringing their first baby home from the hospital.
1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi 
 missile warhead.
2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin 
 won a defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. 
 The contract, for the "joint strike fighter," was the 
 largest defense contract in history.
2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where 
 separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 
 116 hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the 
 gas or gunshot wounds.
2013  smiled


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Why use spreadsheets to create web pages? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 25.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


On tonight's walk Copper got very exited when we walked 
past the hospital. The Oilfields Hospital is in the middle 
of about 40 acres of lawns and the occasional bunch of 
trees. It looks nice, but you never see any patients out
there. When I looked closer at what Copper was straining 
so mightily to go chase, there were about a dozen deer,
including 3 or 4 very young ones, that were just barely 
walking, not yet bouncing like they do after a month.

They were white-tail deer, but of the dark greyish brown 
type. They look just as good as the light brown type, but
don't show well on photos. Copper sure wanted to go chase 
them or play with them, and run after them for 20 miles.
Not today. He was quite disappointed, that I was not 
interested in a quick 20 miles there and 20 miles back run.

No snow forecast until Sunday, but frost every night.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person? --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680)
With no warning and clear out of the blue, a husband said to his wife, "Honey, I have invited a friend home for supper tonight." His wife replied, "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't have time to go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!" The husband said, "Yes, same as usual. I know all that." "Then why in the world did you invite your friend for supper tonight?" asked the wife. The guy answered, "Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

GROAN ALERT! One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all, hawk, lion, and stinker.
Click on the picture for the large version Cheyava-Falls-upper-cascade-Grand-Canyon
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sasha Hunt, 22, Berne, Indiana Jailed After Taping Infant's Mouth Shut With Duct Tape, Leaving Gagged Child In Closet To Die Reported by The Weekly Vice Sasha Hunt, a 22-year-old Indiana woman, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly stuffed a sock into her infant son's mouth and left him alone in a closet to die. According to police, Hunt placed a sock into her 3-month-old son's mouth, wrapped his head with duct tape to keep the sock in place and then wrapped the child's arms so he couldn't remove the tape from his mouth. She then wrapped the infant in a blanket, placed him face-down on a pillow and then locked him in a closet to die. Investigators say Sasha Hunt's husband left the residence for about 15 minutes at about 12:45 a.m.. When the husband returned, he asked Sasha if she was ready for bed. She answered "yes." The husband, Nathan Hunt, went downstairs to shut off the television when he heard a muffled cry coming from upstairs. Fearing that his baby son had rolled over onto his face, Nathan ran upstairs to check on the baby. Sasha Hunt reportedly followed her husband into the child's room, begging him to stop. But when Nathan found that the baby's crib was empty, he began checking around the room until he found the gagged infant inside the closet. After removing the tape and gag, Nathan Hunt gave his wife a choice. Either she could turn herself in and check into a mental health facility, or he would call police and turn her in. Nathan Hunt told investigators that prior to the incident, Sasha had kicked holes in walls, attacked him physically and frequently handled their child in a rough manner. The child was also found with bruises recently, which Sasha blamed on the couple's 1-year-old daughter. On another occasion, Sasha reportedly told her husband that she wished the baby had never been born and hoped that he would die. Sasha Hunt was booked into jail and charged with attempted murder and neglect of a dependent. Tech Support Pits From: Anita Re: Why use a Spreadsheet for a web page Dear Webby, You have mentioned spreadsheets before, but I can't see how or why they would be useful on a web page. Please enlighten me there! Thanks Anita Dear Anita Whenever you have a table, for example a schedule of events, that has a column for dates, one for times, one for theme, and one for cost, it is extremely easy to do that in a spreadsheet. And fast! I use that method even to generate huge templates for albums like Dianne's Afghans and Cat Mats. Whenever you have anything, that is repetitious, like the rows in a table, then you can do it faster in a spreadsheet. You can even use formulas to fill fields with data from another layer of the spreadsheet. Then you are really cooking! Then save it as an HTML file, copy that and paste it into the destination file. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Steel Wool For Cleaning Coffee Pot To clean inside of stainless steel coffee pot, take a hand held kitchen wand. Place a steel wool pad of your choice over the scrubbing pad attached to the wand. This can be held in place by wrapping rubber bands around it. Use this to scrub around the inside of the pot. Rinse very well before then cleaning your complete coffee system with white vinegar and water. By Babwaray If you can't getyour steel wool padded wand into the thermos or pot, you can use my trick. Rinse it to makeit good and wet, pour a spoon full of Comet into it and shake well to distribute it evenly and cover every spot. Let it sit for a minute or two, then add a cup of water and shake again. Now you can use a regular skinny brush or foam wand or bottle brush, scrub it a bit, and rinse. Even an old and stubborn coffee patina will be gone, no matter whether the inside is glass or steel. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An African chieftain flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight. The chief made a series of weird noises: "screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-." and then added in perfect English, "Yes, I had a very nice flight." Another reporter asked, "Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while you're in the area?" The chief made the same noises: "screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z." and then said, "Yes, and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building." "Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?" asked the next reporter. The chief replied, "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z, from the short-wave radio."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." --- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign That reminds me, I quit smoking 2 1/2 years ago, and am glad I did.

» Stats

Today, Oct 25, in
1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt 
 over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 
 Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by 
 the English.
1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States 
 captured the British vessel Macedonian.
1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the 
 Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of 
 Balaclava when Lord James Cardigan received an order 
 to attack the Russians. He took his troops into a valley 
 and suffered 40 percent caualties. Later it was revealed 
 that the order was the result of confusion and was not 
 given intentionally.
1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was 
 the Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City.
1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin 
 seized power in Russia.
1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, 
 was found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to 
 a year in prison and fined $100,000.
1954 A U.S. cabinet meeting was televised for the first time.
1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced by 
 The Tappan Company.
1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had 
 been sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's 
 pro-Western government.
1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was 
 introduced.
1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic 
 evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos 
 were of Soviet missile bases in Cuba.
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and 
 admit mainland China.
1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations 
 invaded Grenada to restore order and provide protection 
 to U.S. citizens after a recent coup within Grenada's 
 Communist (pro-Cuban) government.
1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney 
 that the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops 
 to Saudi Arabia.
2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a 
 family of four separately traded companies (consumer, 
 business, broadband and wireless).
2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the 
 remains of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million 
 years ago. The animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew 
 as long as 40 feet and weighed as much as eight metric 
 tons. 
2013  smiled


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Spreadsheet to web page 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 24
Walking tonight was cold around the ears. East Wind from
across the prairies. The wind had the rich fragrance of
drying grain, and the moisture it had picked up from a few
thousand miles of grain fields. 65% Humidity! No wonder the
2 degrees below freezing felt cold!

Thursday afternoon it is supposed to warm up, briefly, 
and cool off by the time Copper and I go for our walk.
I will be wearing my hooded winter jacket.

No snow forecast until Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. --- Rita Rudner When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home. --- Sir Winston Churchill
An explorer was leading an entourage through the Amazon jungle when they heard the sounds of drums. At the next village, the leader stopped a native and asked him to explain their meaning. "Bad, real bad when drums stop!" he said before running off. The drum beating continued to pulsate. The safari leader asked another native about it. "Bad, real bad when drums stop!" he said. A few minutes later the drums did stop, and all the expedition members became panicked. The leader grabbed another villager and demanded to know the situation. "Bad, real bad that drums stop," he blurted. "Now comes violin solo!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ ea. or three for a dollar." All day long, customers came in exclaiming "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!" Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?" "What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
Click on the picture for the large version 100 Miles per Gallon? No Problem.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Katrina Kane, 28, Washington Hollow, NY Jailed After Driving Drunk Across State Police Front Lawn Reported by The Weekly Vice Katrina Kane, a 28-year-old New York woman, was jailed early Thursday morning after she allegedly drove drunk across the front lawn of a local State Police headquarters building. According to police, officers were dispatched after receiving a 911 call report of an erratic driver. State Troopers soon located the vehicle and followed it for observation. Investigators say the vehicle left the roadway and proceeded across the front lawn of Troop K headquarters located on Route 44 and Route 82. The vehicle allegedly became stuck or otherwise stopped in front of the building. Kane, the driver, was administered a field sobriety test and deemed intoxicated. She was booked into the Dutchess County Jail and charged with felony DUI. She was charged with a felony because of her previous DWI conviction. Her bail has been set at $15,000. Tech Support Pits From: Ormond Re: Spreadsheet to web page Dear Webby, Is there an easy way to transfer part of a spreadsheet to a web page? Thanks Ormond Dear Ormond Copy the parts, that you want to transfer, into a new spreadsheet, and save that one as an HTML web page. Open that file, and copy the entire table that is in it, and paste it into the page where you want it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Countertops with Plastic Lids I overheard my husband telling his sister about something I have been doing for a long time. I figured if it impressed him, I should share it. When I open a new can of coffee, I take the plastic top from the old can and put it on the bottom of the new can. The plastic will help to protect your countertops. By Marty Dick I also keep a coffee can lid beside the stove for times, when I don't want to use a water filled Pyrex 1 Liter measuring cup to put wooden spoons or ladles into. For just one wooden spoon or flipper it's not worth filling the measuring cup, so I lay the tool onto a coffee can lid. Those plastic can lids rinse easyly and quickly, and since there are always more, it's no big deal to discard a messy one. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The Master of the house is comfortably installed in an armchair in the library, reading a newspaper. Suddenly, James, his butler, rips the door open and shouts, "Sir, the Thames is flooding the streets!" The Master looks up calmly from the newspaper and says, "James, please. I have already told you. If you do have something important to tell me, first knock on the door, then enter and inform me of the issue, in a quiet and civilized manner. Now please, do so." James apologizes and closes the door behind him. Three seconds later, the Master hears a knock on the door. "Yes?" James partially enters the room, and with a wide gesture, makes an invitation as for somebody on the outside to enter, then says, "Sir, the Thames."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped clean the house and set the table when company was due for dinner. Everything was ready when the guests arrived, and they were seated at the table. Susan's mother noticed something was missing and said, "Susan, why didn't you put a knife and fork at Mr. Thompson's place." Little Susan explained frankly, "I thought he wouldn't need them, because Daddy says he always eats like a horse."

» Black Holes and More

Today, Oct 24, in
1537 Jane Seymour, the third wife of England's King Henry VIII, 
 died after giving birth to Prince Edward. Prince Edward 
 became King Edward VI.
1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the 
 Peace of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty 
 Years War.
1795 The country of Poland was divided up between Austria, 
 Prussia, and Russia.
1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous 
 friction safety match.
1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent 
 when Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a 
 telegram to U.S. President Lincoln.
1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor, 63, became the first person
 to go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel.
1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million 
 shares on the stock market. The day is known as 
 "Black Thursday."
1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened 
 for traffic between New York and New Jersey.
1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first 
 time in Wilmington, DE.
1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect 
 under the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938.
1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less 
 than a month after the end of World War II. 
1945 Pierre Laval of France and Vidkum Abraham Quisling 
 of Norway were executed. The two men were recognized as 
 the two most prominent collaborators of the Nazis.
1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It 
 was in a speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War 
 Investigating Committee.
1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was 
 nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and 
 foreign-owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6/1960.
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces 
 went on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation 
 for a possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S. 
 blockade of Cuba officially began on this day.
1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 
 69-carat Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. 
1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian 
 was convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the 
 trial led to the belief that Syria was involved in the 
 attack on the Israeli jetliner.
1989 Reverend Jim Bakker was sentenced to 45 years in prison 
 and fined $500,000 for his conviction on 24 counts of fraud. 
 In 1991, his sentence was reduced to eighteen years and he 
 was released on parole after a total five years in prison.
1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to
 win the World Series.
1997 In Arlington, VA, former NBC sportscaster Marv Albert 
 was spared a jail sentence after a courtroom apology to 
 the woman he'd bitten during a sexual encounter.
1999 An Israeli court sentenced American teen-ager Samuel 
 Sheinbein to 24 years in prison. The crime was killing an 
 acquaintance in Maryland in 1997.
2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation 
 that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap 
 all of a person's telephone conversation and track people's 
 use of the Internet.
2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered 
 orbit around Mars.
2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde 
 flight landed.
2013  smiled


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Sending SMS messages from a computer 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 23




Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. --- Dereke Bruce If you have weird vegetarian friends it is best not to invite them to a barbecue. --- Scott Adam
Two Swedes from Wisconsin are sittin' in a boat on Dead Lake , fishing and suckin' down beer, when all of a sudden Sven says, "I tink I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't talk to me in over six mont." Ole sips his beer and says, "Ve can trade. Mine has not shut up for six mont."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal."
This was yesterday's sunset. I didn't want to wait with Betty's morning picture any longer, so my pictures are here now. Click on the picture for the large version I noticed a pulsing blast. Interesting is that it is further back than the old microwave tower, but closer than the cell tower on the next ridge. Also notice the thin targeting beam versus the big fat blast. Click on the picture for the large version Click on the picture for the large version Is that a blast from or at a UFO? You tell me!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andre Laurens Crane, Lawrenceville, GA Sentenced To Life In Prison After Recording System Designed To Catch Wife Cheating Provides Evidence In Child Molestation Case Reported by The Weekly Vice Andre Laurens Crane, a Gwinnett County Georgia man, was sentenced to jail Thursday after he was caught molesting his step daughter by the very same audio recording system he intended to use to catch his wife cheating. According to police, Crane was arrested last October when an audio recording system he set up to catch his wife cheating proved to be his own undoing. Investigators say Crane barricaded himself inside his home and attempted to commit suicide after the audio system was discovered and listened to. The audio system reportedly contained evidence that Crane had been molesting his 15-year-old step daughter. The investigation later revealed that Crane had been molesting his step daughter since she was 11 years old. Crane was booked into jail and charged with six counts of child molestation/ aggravated sexual battery. During Crane's trial in Gwinnett County, jurors needed only an hour to find him guilty on all six counts. He was sentenced to life in prison plus 10 years. Crane now faces additional charges of child molestation and aggravated sexual battery in Hall County. Tech Support Pits From: Dan Re: emailing to phones Dear Webby, another question. i stumbled onto a program that allows a person to send an email from your desk top to a cell phone equipped with a screen.naturally i forgot where i found it, but i do know it works because i emailed my sister-in-law. would you happen to know the program name? thanks, dan Dear Dan The easiest way to do that is to use Skype. Add the recipient's cell phone number in the MOBILE slot. Then open a chat message to thet person. Look for the tiny switch in the left bottom corner and switch from Skype to SMS Mobile Now, when you type a message and hit Enter, it will show up as a text message on their mobile phone. If you don't have Skype, you can use TeleFlip You need the cell phone number of the recipient, for example 123 456 7890 Then enter 1234567890@teleflip.com into the TO line. Type up to 160 characters and hit SEND. If you have a big, beautiful signature box, disable that for sending SMS messages to cell phones. The message will usually get cut off at 160 characters anyway, but that can make it look silly. Instead of teleflip you can try the name of the carrier. TRY! Not all of them work that way all of the time. Bell, for example usually doesn't. Alltel: @message.alltel.com 1234567890@message.alltel.com Nextel: @messaging.nextel.com Sprint: @messaging.sprintpcs.com SunCom: @tms.suncom.com T-mobile: @tmomail.net VoiceStream: @voicestream.net Verizon: @vtext.com (text only) or @vzwpix.com (photos and video) You can get the address of a phone from the SMS gateway at http://www.freesmsgateway.info/ However, test it out, don't just put it into your address book. For example, for Barb, my neighbor, on Bell, the SMSgateway gives 4035541****@txt.bellmobility.ca Mails sent to that don't arrive at her phone. Flipping that little switch at the left bottom of the Skype message window does work just fine to send SMS messages to her. Keep in mind though, to turn that back to Skype or you will get yelled at for being a nuisance, if you are sending SMS messages, when you could send regular Skype messages, after the recipient is at her or his home machine again. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Laundry Detergent Making your own powdered detergent is a lot easier, less mess, and doesn't take up all the space. Here is the recipe I found online and now use. Ingredients: 1 bar Ivory soap (or 2/3 bar Fels Naptha) 1/2 cup borax 1/2 cup washing soda (found in the laundry aisle) Directions Grate 1 bar of Ivory soap (or other not strongly scented bar soap). Add 1/2 cup of borax. Add 1/2 cup washing soda. Mix together and store in air tight container. Use 1-2 tablespoons per load. This recipe is for a low-sudsing detergent and works especially well in high efficiency washing machines. Source: homemadelaundrysoap.net By Alice from Poteau, OK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The family had finally gotten their first dishwasher. The father liked to inspect every new thing that came into the house, so he stayed in the kitchen and watched the display count down all forty-four minutes of the dishwashing cycle. Suddenly he called out for his wife, shouting, "It's useless, the dishwasher is useless!" The wife was amazed that the newest appliance could be broken after only one use, but he insisted that because they had a water softener, the dishwasher was useless. She decided to look for herself, and there it was, on the inside door, next to the detergent dispenser: USE LESS WITH SOFT WATER
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels. "Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do." "It certainly wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the best towels we had... the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel on our honeymoon."

» Black Holes and More

Today, Oct 23, in
1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces defeated the 
 Confederate forces in Missouri
1910 Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make 
 a public solo airplane flight in the United States.
1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote 
 with a march in New York City, NY.
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 
 starting the stock-market crash that began the 
 Great Depression.
1942 During World War II, the British began a major 
 offensive against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began.
1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet 
 occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter 
 Hungary and eventually suppress the uprising.
1956 NBC broadcasted the first videotape recording. The 
 tape of Jonathan Winters was seen coast to coast in U.S.
1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded 
 the Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse 
 the honor due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won 
 the award for writing "Dr. Zhivago".
1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began
 overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon."
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and 
 seat Communist China.
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over 
 the subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair.
1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of 
 hostility when they exchanged treaty ratifications.
1980 The resignation of Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin 
 was announced.
1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 
 33 years of Soviet rule.
1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese 
 emperor to stand on Chinese soil.
1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II.
2000 Universal Studios Consumer Products Group (USCPG) 
 and Amblin Entertainment announced an unprecedented and 
 exclusive three-year worldwide merchandising program 
 with Toys "R" Us, Inc. The deal was for the rights to 
 exclusive "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial" merchandise 
 starting in fall 2001. The film was scheduled for 
 re-release in the spring of 2002. 
2013  smiled


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What to use when you expect long phone wait times 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 22.
No, I don't have a virus. The reason for the extra sendings 
were that some subscribers thought they did not receive their
newsletters and requested, that I try again.
No problem.
That ofcourse di dnot change their spam settings,and it went 
into their spam folder again. I hope they have made some 
filters by now!

I started in 1993 with keeping the Subject line consistent,
always starting it with "Humor: ", so that people with 
Eudora or Pegasus could automatically filter it into their
Humor folders. In those days spam was not a problem,
but sorting the mail automatically was kinda cool.

It actually still is!

Different topic:
According to Calgary TV a new Ransom Ware trojan is going
around. Apparently, if you click on a not quite legit notice
from a bank or financial institution, it encrypts your files,
and if you don't pay a ransom in 72 hours, your files will 
be destroyed. Apparently they found out the hard way, that 
it was not an empty threat.

Apparently McAfee will shield you from that, and no 
Humor Letter subscribers have been infected with that.
I guess they listened to me nagging at them for 25 years.

Common sense will also help. If you get an email pretending
to be from your bank or PayPal, and it looks not 100% legit,
dump it. Unless you can afford a $300 ransom, don't gamble!

When a full page about that virus is on top at the TV station 
site on election night, I would guess somebody at the TV 
station got hit and somebody did a bunch of yelling and 
screaming.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong. --- Abraham Lincoln
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!" 2013 A.D. - "Fill out these forms and make an appointment to see me next month."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his money out of his wallet, what would I be?" Little Jenny raises her hand, and with a confident smile, she blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Foggy Morning on the island
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Chiappetta, 26, Bellevue, PA Substitute Teacher Jailed After Officer Finds Him Passed Out On Heroin In Front Of Class Reported by The Weekly Vice Christopher Chiappetta, a 26-year-old substitute teacher at Northgate High School, was jailed Wednesday after he allegedly passed out in front of 11 students after drugging up on heroin. According to Bellevue Police, an investigation was launched Wednesday after a school resource officer found Chiappetta slumped over on his desk in front of his class. Investigators say the officer was patrolling the school hallways when he passed Chiappetta's classroom and noticed something wrong. "He was very disoriented," said resource officer Michael Hudson. "He appeared to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol." The officer and the school principal were questioning Chiappetta about his behavior when a stamp bag of heroin fell out of his pocket. Officers eventually recovered four baggies of heroin from Chiappetta's pockets and marijuana from his car. Chiappetta initially denied using any narcotics or alcohol, but later admitted to using heroin at around 6 a.m. that morning. He was booked into the Allegheny County Jail and charged with drug possession and child endangerment. He remains held in lieu of $10,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Tracy Re: Calling with long wait times Dear Webby, You mentioned some way to make calling places, where they make you wait a bit easier, but at the time, that did not seem important, so I ignored it. Now I need that info. Can you please tell us again? Thanks Tracy Dear Tracy I use Skype. Even though I COULD use a head-set (earphones plus boom microphone), I prefer to let the sound play in the external speakers. The headset hangs up beside the monitor and it's microphone picks up my voice quite nicely. Skype has a dial-pad for punching in numbers. The numeric keypad on the keyboard works fine and they can never belive how fast I can punch in numbers. The top numbers work too. Calling a land line is a penny (Euro) per minute. Since the dollar fell, that is almost 2 cents US$ now, but that is a lot less than using up your regular phone minutes. Voice quality is excellent, and you can really crank the volume if you need to go to the kitchen to make another pot of coffee. Don't worry about the microphone. Those boom microphones are not directional and pick up your voice from a long distance. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Cold-Eze To Shorten Cold As soon as you feel a cold coming on, try taking the product "Cold-Eze". They are drops that contain Zinc. They can alter the taste of your food for a while, but they really do help. By Darla from Grand Prairie, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Thanks to Mary-Beth for this story: Here in the Kentucky hills, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge and into the wind he goes! Meanwhile, Maw & Paw Abner were sittin' on the porch swing, talkin 'bout the good ol' days when maw spots the biggest bird she has ever seen! "Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims. Paw raises up, "Git mah gun, Maw." Maw runs into the house, brings out his pump action shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops. "I think ya missed him, Paw," she says. "Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of ol' Zeek!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Well, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."

» Giant Sea Creatures

Today, Oct 22, in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. 
It later became known as Princeton University.
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute 
 jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.
1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally 
 elected president of the Republic of Texas.
1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment 
 with a high-resistance carbon filament.
1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing 
 money from many New York banks.
1934 Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd, the notorious bank robber, 
 was shot and killed by Federal agents in East Liverpool, OH.
1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the 
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).
1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The 
 spacecraft had orbited the Earth 163 times.
1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was 
 allowed into the U.S. for medical treatment. He had been
 installed by the CIA, but abandoned, when the Ayatolla took 
 the Embassy and the University hostage.
1986 U.S. President Reagan signed the Tax Reform Act of 1986 into law.
1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade Association 
 agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by the year 1993.
1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to 
 Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed 
 in July.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications 
 downloaded.
2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) 
 for the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had 
 been continously inhabited since November 2, 2000. 
2013  smiled


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Emergency Shutdown 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 19.

Thanks Ray!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong. --- Abraham Lincoln "A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward." --- Jean Paul Richter
Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?" "Sixty cents," said the driver. As the bus pulled away the man raced alongside it until the next stop. When the doors opened again he gasped, "How much is the fare now?" "Ninety cents," said the driver. "You're running the wrong way."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

>From Kara Why trick-or-treat is better than sex 10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. 9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again. 8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. 7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy. 6. It's OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you ARE someone else. 5. 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy. 4. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door. 3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning. 2. Less guilt the next morning. And the Number 1 Reason Trick-Or-Treating is Better Than Sex: 1. You can "do" the whole neighborhood!!! -------------- Personally, I disagree with Kara. I'm a Diabetic, and can do without candy quite well.
Thanks to Nana Rina for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Wave Walker
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Luis Santana, 32, Waterbury, Connecticut Birdbrain: Man Arrested For Throwing Parrot Into The Face Of Pursuing Police Officer Reported by The Smoking Gun While being chased by a cop, a Connecticut man threw a parrot at his uniformed pursuer, who was bit on the hand when trying to shield himself from the feathered projectile. Luis Santana, 32, was arrested Tuesday night on several charges, including assaulting a police officer, disorderly conduct, and animal cruelty. A patrolman responding to a call about a fight encountered Santana on a Waterbury street around 10 PM. When Santana bolted, bird in hand, Officer Gary Kichar gave chase. While fleeing, Santana turned and threw the white parrot at Kichar’s head. When the cop raised his hand to protect himself, the bird bit his finger. Kichar was treated at the scene for the bird bite. The parrot was initially turned over to animal control officials. Santana was apprehended while hiding in a nearby building. Free on bond, he is scheduled for a November 18 court appearance. Following the bird tossing, investigators learned of a burglary Tuesday evening during which jewelry and a parrot were stolen. Santana is a suspect in that crime, according to Deputy Chief Chris Corbett of the Waterbury Police Department. Corbett added that the parrot was later reunited with its owner. Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Emergency Shutdown Dear Webby, I used to use the Task Manager to shut down whenever Windows got bunged up and stuck. CTRL ALT DELETE works sometimes, to get to the Task Manager, and CTRL SHIFT ESC works sometimes, but other times neither of them work. Is tehre some other way? Wendy Dear Wendy If you can't use it to shut down a stuck program and can't even use the keyboard any more, try this: Hit the Windows key and R It opens the command line and now the keyboard lets you type again, at least in that command line. Type: shutdown -r Now Windows will shut down one program at a time, but it will prompt you to save unsaved files. Save them. Once the program by program shutdown gets past the program that caused the trouble, you can cancel the shut-down, or you can let it complete. Best is to let it complete and do a reboot. Then run Crap Cleaner to clean up the mess left behind during the emergency shut-down. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Burnt Oil From a Frying Pan I forgot to remove my pan from the burner after frying taco shells, causing the oil to burn onto the pan. Approximate Time: 10 minutes Supplies: 1 Tbsp Dawn dish soap water Steps: Add Dawn dish soap to the pan. Fill the pan about halfway with water. Put the pan on the stove and boil for about 5 minutes. Be sure to set a timer. Using a metal spatula, carefully scrap away as much of the oil as possible. NOTE: Do not use a metal spatula on a non-stick pan. Empty the soap water into the sink. Then scrub with a sponge to remove any remaining oil. By lalala... A lot of old-timers will disagree with that. In the days of cast iron frying pans, you had to "season" the frying pan by burning an oil patina onto it. A properly seasoned frying pan is just as slick as a brand new Teflon "non-stick" pan. There used to be lots of jokes about a city girl visiting her boyfriend's Gramma and while doing the dishes, scrubbed the frying pan with Comet and steel wool to get down to bare metal. Naturally, when Gramma saw that, she gonged the city girl with the frying pan and kicked her out of the house. To season a frying pan, scrub it with Comet to remove any splotches of previous seasoning and make it look perfectly clean and even. Outside too. Put some peanut oil into the pan, and rub the outside with a rag dipped in the oil. You COULD use other oil, or even bacon rinds, but peanut oil can take more heat before it smokes. Turn on the burner and open all windows. It is going to get smokey! If dry spots appear in the pan before it smokes, pour more oil onto the dry spots. When it smokes, don't panic. It is supposed to. Keep the burner on. That opens the pores in the cast and allows oil into the pores. When the pan smokes evenly, THEN you can turn the burner off. Ideally, you still have some oil showing. That is good! Don't pour it out. Let the pan cool and the smoke waft out the windows. Once the pan is completely cold, THEN pour out the excess oil. You now have a frying pan that you can use to flip and even double trick flip pancakes and crepes. Naturally you don't let anybody use soap or Comet or steel wool on the inside of a seasoned frying pan. Just water and a sponge is all that is needed. The burned in oil patina is just as durable as today's fashionable Teflon, but whereas you have to throw away a Teflon pan after a year or so, a cast iron pan just needs scrubbing and a new seasoning. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The Lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones. do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women, one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt and personally throw away the key."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A cute young woman is giving a man in the barbershop a manicure. The man says, "How about a date later?" "I'm married," she answers. With a wink he says, "So, just tell him you're going out with your girlfriends." "Tell him yourself," she says. "He's shaving you."

» Crazy Gourds

Today, Oct 20, in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, 
 was launched in Boston's harbor.
1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. 
 The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet.
1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris.
1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. 
 It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out.
1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War 
 I near Nancy, France.
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
 per minute on a manual typewriter.
1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the 
 Electric Show in New York City, NY.
1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had 
 fined 29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations.
1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time.
1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet.
1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, 
 in opposition to the Vietnam War.
1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed 
 to Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there.
1986 Pro-Iranian kidnappers in Lebanon claimed that they 
 had abducted American writer Edward Tracy. He was not 
 released until August of 1991.
1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The 
 action was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five 
 American spies.
1988 Former Philippine President Ferdinand E. Marcos and 
 his wife, Imelda, were indicted in New York on fraud and 
 racketeering charges. Marcos died before his trial and 
 Imelda was acquitted in 1990.
1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was 
 released after nearly five years of being imprisoned.
1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring 
 North Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to 
 inspections.
1994 Rosario Ames, the wife of CIA agent Aldrich Ames, was 
 sentenced to five years in prison for her role in her 
 husband's espionage.
2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial 
 birth abortions.
2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's 
 offer of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for 
 the communist nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons 
 program.
2013  smiled


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Mystery typing 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 19.

Thanks Ray!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced. --- Vic Gold
On her way back from the concession stand, Trisha asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?" Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did." Trisha nodded. "Oh, good. Then this is my row."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink less."
Thanks to Nana Rina for this picture Click on the picture for the large version The Sudden Action button
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to SanJuanita Carbajal, 58, now in Maricopa County Jail Grandmother Charged With Giving 9-Year-Old Grandchild Drugs, In An Attempt To Have Girl's Father Charged With Drug Possession Reported by The Weekly Vice SanJuanita Carbajal, a 58-year-old Texas woman, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly gave her 9-year-old granddaughter several packets of cocaine in an attempt to frame the child's father for drug possession. According to Gilbert Police, officers were dispatched to Pioneer Elementary School Wednesday after school administrators discovered that the little girl was in possession of several small packets that they believed to be cocaine. Arriving officers performed a field test on the substance and confirmed that it was cocaine. When officers interviewed the child, she reportedly told them that she found the drug packets in her father's truck. After further questioning, the little girl admitted that Carbajal had given her the drugs with instructions to hide them inside her father's truck. When officers asked the girl who she would rather live with, the girl emphatically replied "Grandma Janey!" The girl's father told investigators that the girl had been at the center of a long, drawn-out custody fight between himself, the girl's mother and Carbajal. The situation apparently intensified after the father was awarded residential custody. At some point during the custody dispute, Carbajal attempted to gain custody of the child, but was unsuccessful. The girl's mother reportedly told investigators that her mother's sisters are drug dealers, and she believes that her mother attempted to set her and the child's father up using drugs acquired from her sisters. The girl's mother is not a suspect in the case. The girl's father told investigators that he doesn't use narcotics and asked officers to search his truck. Officers took him up on his offer Monday and found no trace of cocaine or other narcotics inside his vehicle. On Tuesday, however, the father called police and reported that a bag of cocaine mysteriously appeared inside his truck after dropping his daughter off at school. After multiple interviews with all parties involved, investigators determined that Carbajal gave her granddaughter the drugs, hoping a drug conviction would give her the edge she needed to launch a new custody fight. Carbajal, who was visiting Arizona from Texas, was booked into the Maricopa County Jail and charged with child abuse. Tech Support Pits From: MaryLou Re: Mystery typing Dear Webby, When I type an email, or whatever, my cursor jumps around and I have trouble finding it. Very disturbing to say the least. Any suggestions on how to solve this problem? Thanks, Webby, you are always so helpful, and I LOVE your newsletter. MaryLou Dear MaryLou The problem is the silly touch pad right where your thumb is. Take a piece of stiff cardboard and cut it to fit over the thumb pad. You can even use a big piece and cover the entire area between the keyboard and the lower edge. You can use double-sided tape or removable post-it-note type glue (in glue stick form) to attach it. Hotmelt glue works well too. The alternative is to cuss and swear every time your thumb touches or almost touches the silly thumb pad. You probably have a mouse. If you don't, get one before you cover the thumb pad! Mice are from $4.95 to $129 Personally I prefer mice with additional side buttons for copy and paste, but that is a preference, not a necessity. There is a software method to disable the thumb pad, but then you are held hostage. In case your mouse dies, or had been forgotten at home, you won't be able to re-enable the touch pad. Therefore it is safer to just cover the silly touch pad with cardboard. If necessary, you can always remove the cardboard. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Cut Flowers Last Longer To make cut flowers last for weeks instead of days, use 7-Up or Sprite instead of water. Cut the ends every other day or so and freshen the liquid. Roses last for weeks! By grandmadan Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I'm sick of her, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her," and then hangs up. The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news. She calls her father and yells, "You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a single thing, do you hear me?" The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says, "It worked! The kids are coming for a visit, and they're paying their own way!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Bob meets Bill at the bar after work and is looking down in the dumps. "Whats wrong now Bob," asked Bill. Bob replies, "They called in a management team and gave everyone in the office an aptitude test to see what they were best suited for." "Yeah, so whats the problem with that," asks Bill. Bob sighs, "Well, it seems I'm best suited for retirement."

» Fall Gems

Today, Oct 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary 
 and Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman 
 Emperor Charles VI. Maria Theresa bore 25 kids during her
 reign.
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of 
 America’s colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all 
 citizens of the colonies "discountenance and discourage 
 all horse racing and all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, 
 exhibitions of shows, plays and other expensive diversions 
 and entertainment."
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase.
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary 
 between the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel.
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek 
 War for Independence.
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that 
 took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist 
 Headquarters.
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines.
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American 
 Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist 
 influence within the motion picture industry.
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya.
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis.
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that 
 banned atomic blasts in the South Pacific.
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety 
 devices and survived. He was charged with illegally 
 performing a stunt.
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets. 
2013  smiled


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Computer keeps shutting down 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 19.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The more you seek security, the less of it you have. But the more you seek opportunity, the more likely it is that you will achieve the security that you desire." --- Brian Tracy Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from. --- Jodie Foster
>From Dave *The danger of having sports role models for kids* *1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." ** ** **2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: **"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first." ** ** **3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: **"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." ** ** **4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: **"He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings." ** ** **5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: **"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A geniu s is a guy like Norman Einstein." ** ** **6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : **"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." ** ** **7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: **"You guys line up alphabetically by height." ** ** **8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: **"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .." ** ** **9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: **"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." ** ** **10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: **"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is." ** ** **11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: **"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. ** ** **12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: **"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'' ** ** **13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: **"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject." ** ** **14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: **"I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious." ** ** **Ah, but they all ride to the bank in a Mercedes...*
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A kindergarten teacher was receiving birthday gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy-dog!"
Thanks to Nana Rina for this picture Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nicole Maxine Passmore, 25, Myrtle Beach, SC Hooker Attacked Patron Over Lap Dance Refusal Reported by The Smoking Gun A stripper is facing an assault rap after she allegedly beat on a male customer who turned down her repeated attempts to perform a lap dance inside a South Carolina club, cops report. Nicole Maxine Passmore, 25, was busted late last night for misdemeanor assault in connection with the confrontation at Masters Gentlemen’s Club in Myrtle Beach. According to a police report, patron Ernest Kadlick, 31, told officers that he was “having a good time in the club” with friends when Passmore (seen above) approached them and repeatedly tried to “dance on him” while attempting to take money that Kadlick had placed on his table. After turning down Passmore for a third and final time, Kadlick said that the dancer, who had launched into a lap dance and acted like she was entitled to the money on the table, told him that he had a “sweet receding hairline.” In response, Kadlick declared, “Yeah, and you’re a snaggle toothed bitch!” (witch ?) According to Kadlick and several witnesses interviewed by Myrtle Beach Police Department investigators, the 5’ 6” Passmore then “got up and started striking [Kadlick] in the face…approximately 5-6 times.” Kadlick and his friends then left the club and police were called. When an officer arrived at the strip joint, they found Kadlick holding a towel full of ice against his face. A cop reported observing “a welt coming from the area of left eyebrow.” Passmore claimed that she struck Kadlick in response to being pushed by him (though there were no witnesses to corroborate that assertion). Passmore was then arrested and transported to the Myrtle Beach jail, where she was subsequently charged and released on bond. Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Computer keeps shutting down Dear Webby, I "inherited" this super high preformance computer from my son. It keept shutting down on him right in the middle of games and he got disgusted with it. I tried it, just here on the table before putting it under my desk, and it seems to work OK for me. Is there anything I should do before I switch it out with my old clunker? Thanks Fran Dear Fran Open up the side panel and vacuum it out. If you see any heat sinks, clean them with q-tips and windex. If you can remove the shroud over the CPU fan, clean under that too. After putting it back together, don't put that machine into a desk hutch or confined space. Insted of putting it right on the floor, set it on a couple of bricks or wooden blocks. Give it lots of air. It will probably be fine for many years, as long as you clean it out once a year and give it plenty of air. And I bet your son's new computer, if he sticks it into the same airless cubbyhole, will keep shutting down on him just like the previous one did. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hiding Passwords Keep your passwords on the back of a picture in a frame that is somewhere you can easily access. That way, you will always have your passwords available, but someone else won't know they are there! All they see are pictures in frames. I have even used the magnetic frames so they are easy to move around. By grandmadan Try the free Roboform! Or you can do it the long way, and hope you won't get sidetracked by all the ads at http://roboform.com Roboform lets you store THOUSANDS of passwords for different sites and programs. It has a master password, so that you can access it even from totally different computers, when you go visiting. Roboform knows which password belongs to your savings account and which one to your Facebook account, and so on. As an added bonus, it has a password generator, that makes up safe passwords. Don't worry if they are awful looking tongue breakers, that nobody can memorize. RoboForm remembers them for you. You can even synchronize your passwords between desktop and laptop! I have used RoboForm for over a dozen years, and it has never disappointed me. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him. The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies that he knows little Johnny and his whole family very well and can vouch for them, if little Johnny said that he did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth. Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story. After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the damned wall."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!" The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." The second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"

» Automaton, 249 years ago

Today, Oct 19, in
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to 
 U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It was 
 the last major battle of the American Revolutionary War.
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their retreat 
 out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating 
 Russian army.
1914 In the U.S., government owned vehicles were first used 
 to pick up mail in Washington, DC.
1915 The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the 
president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts 
 of Mexico except where Carranza was in control.
1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by 
 the Berlin Organization Committee.
1943 The Moscow Conference of Foreign Ministers began in 
 Russia during World War II. Delegates from the U.S.S.R., 
 Great Britain, the U.S., and China met to discuss war aims 
 and cooperation between the nations.
1944 The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be allowed 
 into WAVES (Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service).
1950 The United Nations forces entered the North Korean capital 
 of Pyongyang.
1951 U.S. President Truman singed an act officially ending the 
 state of war with Germany.
1960 The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba 
 covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain 
 food products.
1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to 
 anti-Vietnam War protesters "an effete corps of 
 impudent snobs."
1977 The Concorde made its first landing in New York City.
1983 The U.S. Senate approved a bill establishing a national 
 holiday in honor of Martin Luther King Jr.
1989 The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional 
 amendment that barred the desecration of the American flag.
1998 Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing 
license back after he had lost it for biting Evander 
 Holyfield's ear during a fight.
2003 In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear 
 plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the 
 banks of the Thames River. He survived only on water for 
 44 days. Blaine had entered the box on September 5.
2013  smiled


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Needs a good alarm 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 18.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living." --- Doug Larson
First thing - every single morning - one of the secretaries in our office opened the newspaper and read everyone's horo- scope aloud. "Gwen," said our boss finally, "you seem to be a normal, levelheaded person. Do you really believe in astrology?" "Of course not," Gwen answered. "You know how skeptical we Capricorns are."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

>From Rick Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the diploma's, he requested, "Will all the 'cum laudes' please stand up?" My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"
Yesterday's cactus picture was from my dad. That Gymnocalytium Friederisii had bloomed day before yesterday. Today's picture was sent by Nana Rina. Click on the picture for the large version Some Cupids apparently request cooperation, and insist on it.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carlton Walker Jr, Middlesex County, Virginia Jailed After Calling 911 To Report She Was Too Drunk To Get Out Of Car Reported by The Weekly Vice Carol Frances Omeara, a 55-year-old Montana woman, was jailed Tuesday after she called 911 to complain that she was too drunk to get out of her vehicle. According to police, an officer was dispatched to Omeara's residence Tuesday at about 10 p.m. after she called 911 to complain that she was having trouble getting out of her vehicle. When the dispatcher asked Omeara if she was having a medical issue or mechanical issue, Omeara replied "No, I'm just too damn drunk." Officers arrived at the residence to find Omeara inside a vehicle parked outside of her residence. Omeara told officers that she had been at a local bar for about 5 hours before driving home. After arriving home, she spent the next four hours trying to get out of her car before calling 911. Officers administered a breath test which reported a blood alcohol content level of .311 or almost 4 times the legal limit. Omeara was booked into jail and charged with felony DUI. She remains held in lieu of $3,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Alma Re: Need a good alarm Dear Webby, I need an alarm that tells me it is time to check what is boiling in the kitchen. I am not playing games, just writing, but tend to get carried a way. What have you got in your bag of tricks? Alma Dear Alma I use Alarm It is free, easy to use, and 100% reliable. You can use the built in alarm sound, which is just as noisy as the Skype call to video, or you can use any music file, that you got. Yes, ANY. It is not intended as a bedside alarm to wake you in the morning, and it does not turn the computer on or bring it out of hibernation. It is strictly just for when the computer is running, but you are busy doing something other than watching the clock. I have used this Alarm for many years, and it has never let me down. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remembering the Order of the Planets This is a great way to remember the planets to teach to your kids! My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nachos My = Mercury Very = Venus Eager = Earth Mother = Mars Just = Jupiter Served = Saturn Us = Uranus Nachos = Neptune Hope this helps! By Jennapatrice Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment. “I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.” “But I could be dead by then!” “No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment and won't charge you for it.”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a thousandths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in Moishe Goldbaum's delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, that it is kosher."

» Cute Critter Pix

Today, Oct 18, in
1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The 
 marriage united all the dominions of Spain.
1685 King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, 
 which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant
 population.
1767 The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the boundary 
 between Maryland and Pennsylvania.
1842 Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable.
1860 British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of 
 the Second Opium War.
1867 The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. 
 The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars 
 (2 cents per acre).
1892 The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, 
 IL, and New York City, NY, was opened.
1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one 
 year after the Caribbean nation won its independence 
 from Spain.
1929 The Judicial Committee of England’s Privy Council 
 ruled that women were to be considered as persons in Canada.
1944 Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during 
 World War II.
1956 NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of 
 radio-equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks.
1958 The first computer-arranged marriage took place on 
 Art Linkletter's show.
1969 The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners 
 due to evidence that they caused cancer.
1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to 
 death after eight days of being held captive by the 
 Quebec Liberation Front (FLQ).
1983 General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities 
 for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal 
 Employment Opportunity Commission.
1989 The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission 
 that included the deployment of the Galileo space probe.
1997 A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and 
 present, was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery. 
2013  smiled


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Printing in landscape format 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises. --- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut (1930 - )
An old guy went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are walking down the street on a hot day and are quite thirsty. They pass a busy bar and want to go in and get a drink but have no money. But the priest comes up with an idea that he thinks might work, so he goes in alone, telling to others that if his idea works they can all get free drinks. He orders his drink, and when he's finished with it, the bartender gives him his tab. The priest says, "But son,... I already paid for the drink!" The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry father but it's really busy in here and I must have forgotten." The priest goes out and tells the pastor and the rabbi what happened, so the pastor goes in next. The pastor orders his drink and then informs the bartender that he already had paid when the bartender asks him for the money. Again the bartender apologizes. Finally the rabbi goes in and orders his drink. Again the bartender gives him the tab and the rabbi tells him, "Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink." "I'm terribly sorry rabbi," says the bartender, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but your the third man of the cloth that I've done this to." "I'm sorry son," says the rabbi, "but I'm in a terrible hurry,... Just give me my change for the $20 I gave you, and I'll be on my way!"
Thanks to NanaRina for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Gymnocalytium-Friederisii
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carlton Walker Jr, Middlesex County, Virginia Father Jailed After Firing Shotgun At Two Teens Who Returned His Daughter Home Late Reported by The Weekly Vice Carlton Walker Jr. of Middlesex County, Virginia was jailed earlier this month after he allegedly fired at two teenagers who attempted to bring his daughter home late. According to police, the concept of a father waiting at home with a shotgun became a reality for his daughter and two teenagers when the trio arrived home after midnight. Investigators say Walker became angry, grabbed a shotgun and confronted the two teens who were dropping his daughter off. When the two friends attempted to back out of the drive way, Walker allegedly blocked them in, pointed a shotgun at the vehicle and fired two rounds. Walker then instructed his wife to call police with the intention of having both teenagers charged with abduction. When officers arrived on the scene, they questioned the parties involved and took Walker into custody. He was charged with two counts of abduction, two counts of use of a firearm in the commission of a felony, and two counts of firing into an occupied vehicle. Tech Support Pits From: Trudy Re: Print in Landscape Dear Webby, I am sorry to bother you with this question: Besides your Humor Letter, my other favorite pasttime is knitting. I found some great patterns on the internet, but I am stomped. It says that I have to be in the landscape mode to make copies to fit on letter-size paper. I checked into the space, it is on landscape, but when I want to make copies, it still only prints about 3/4 of the pattern on each line. What gives?? Thank you for your help. I have a Microsoft XP. Thumbs up for your daily humor letter, it makes my day! Sincerely ---Trudy Dear Trudy I don't know the first thing about knitting and patterns. To print something like that, I would go into Page Setup File Page Setup From there on it differs, depending on what kid of printer you have. On mine, I can set up a bunch of "Named" defaults. Each of those can be totally different. For patterns, I would name that default "Patterns", change the orientation to "Landscape", set the color preferences, for example "Greyscale", so that light blue "anti-copy" sections come out as grey or black, set the dots per inch, for example 150, and save that. Then every time I print a pattern, I would select the "Patterns" default. My printer, a fairly old DELL 1320c, keeps defaults going, until a different default is selected. Some other printers revert to the built in "Standard" after turning it off and back on. Just play with it, and find out which type you have. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Avoiding the Flu and Winter Colds When I start to get sick, feeling feverish, any kind of sore throat, or just feeling like I am coming down with a cold or the flu, I immediately take 1000 milligrams of vitamin C and two echinacea with golden seal capsules (450 mg ea). I take this twice a day for two or three days and I have not had a cold or the flu in over 10 years. I don't know if it works for everyone, but it is definitely the right thing for me. By Sue from Norman, OK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Two neighbors appeared in court, each woman accusing the other of causing trouble in their building. "Let's get to the evidence," the judge said in an effort to end their bickering. "I'll hear the oldest woman first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Joe I asked my wife if she had seen this morning's paper. She said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it--just the classified section, though." I said, "But...but...I haven't seen it yet!" She replies, "Oh, you didn't miss much. Just some egg shells, coffee grounds and a few orange peels."

» Cute Critter Pix

Today, Oct 17, in
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, 
 NY. It was the turning point in the American 
 Revolutionary War.
1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" 
 was released at newsstands.
1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and 
 was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released 
 in 1939.
1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after 
 leaving Germany.
1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina 
 after staging a coup in Buenos Aires.
1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries 
 (OPEC) began an oil-embargo against several countries 
 including the U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed 
 from Western support of Israel when Egypt and Syria 
 attacked the nation on October 6, 1973. The embargo 
 lasted until March of 1974.
1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored 
 full U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President 
 Jefferson Davis.
1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel 
 Peace Prize.
1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale 
 hit the San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake 
 caused about 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages 
 up to $7 billion.
1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty.
1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace 
 treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war.
2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical 
 Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out 
 the assassination to avenge the killing of its leader 
 by Israel 2 months earlier.
2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 
 1,676-foot-tall-building called Taipei 101.
2013  smiled


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Links to Veterans March 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

When you're through changing, you're through. --- Bruce Barton Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
>From Roland A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer. "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. " Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O. K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes.' "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" "Not everybody pays."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand- lettered "For Sale" sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there" would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing. "Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, "HORSE for sale."
Thanks to NanaRina for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ohio court rules living man is legally dead Reported by Walter the Stonecarver A man who turned up alive nearly 20 years after he disappeared has been told he cannot have a driving licence because he is still legally dead. Donald Miller Jr vanished from a town in Ohio in 1986 after he lost his job and turned to alcohol. He was officially declared dead eight years later, only to resurface in 2005. "It kind of went further than I ever expected it to," Mr Miller said. "I just kind of took off and ended up in different places." The 61-year-old went to court to apply for a driving licence and to have his Social Security number reinstated, so that he can work legally and pay taxes. However, his request to reverse the 1994 death ruling was turned down by Judge Allan Davis, who informed him there was a three-year limit for death notices to be repealed. The judge admitted it was a "strange, strange situation". "We've got the obvious here - a man sitting in the courtroom who appears to be in good health," he said. He told Mr Miller: "I don't know where that leaves you, but you're still deceased as far as the law is concerned." Records show that Mr Miller avoided paying taxes and child support for his children. He owes more than $25,000 in arrears. If his death declaration had been reversed, his ex-wife would have been ordered to pay back the benefits she received for her daughters in almost two decades. His then wife remarried in the meantime, to another Mr Miller. Ms Miller said she wasn't being vindictive toward Mr Miller, but, as a nurse who cannot work because of a disability, she could not afford to repay the benefits. That is why her lawyer fought against Donald Miller Jr getting his "Alive" status and Social Security card back. Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Links to Veteran marches Dear Webby You sent links to see the bikes. Can you please send me links for truckers & veterans? Or put them in your newsletter. It is great that you let us know what our government is keeping from us. Thank you. Karen Dear Karen Vets: Facebook sites tend to get shut down, but the Obamites can't mess with Stars&Stripes: Stars & Stripes: Vets storm Memorials 1 Million Vets March Also really good is Honor Rides to the Memorials Have a hankie ready! Vets remove Barry-cades Truckers: Ride for the Constitution Million Truckers To DC The Biker's site is also good. You have to scroll down for videos of the truckers 2 Million Bikers To DC The bikers seem to be really humbled, because they did not quite get 2 Million, and have really toned down the rethoric. However I can sense that they are working under the surface and preparing for another big ride. Memorial Day maybe? Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Antacid Tablets as Calcium Supplement Many of us are calcium deficient. Calcium supplements are widely available, but very expensive. Here's an inexpensive tip: Antacid products. The chewable antacids are calcium rich. The labels indicate that the product may be used as a calcium supplement and give dosage instructions for that. Large bottles of tasty, fruit flavored antacids save more than 50% in cost over the "calcium supplements" being sold with the same value of calcium. By Arthur Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Thanks to Dianne for this story and picture: To my darling husband Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. Don't worry, it didn't touch your bike. I am really sorry but I know with your kind hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweet heart. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. Your loving wife. XXX PS.: Your secretary is pregnant.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Boss... "I saw you arguing with that customer. Don't you know that our policy is 'The customer is always right?'" Employee... "Yes, but he insisted that he was wrong! What was I supposed to do?"

» Cute Critter Pix

Today, Oct 16, in
1701 The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. 
 The school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name 
 to Yale College.
1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. 
 The Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day and 
 included four meals.
1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA 
 now located in West Virginia).
1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install 
 indoor plumbing.
1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute 
 the Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start 
 of the Disney Company.
1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric 
 light bulb.
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. 
 Romanians entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 
 150,000 Jews.
1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened
1955 Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using 
 the name Ann Landers.
1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the
 world's fifth nuclear power.
1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels.
1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of 
 the Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined 
 the award.
1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a 
 ballistic missile from a submarine.
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed the Gramm-Rudman 
 budget reduction law that ordered federal programs be cut 
 by $16.1 billion.
1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S. 
 warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure 
 on the controlling military leaders.
1997 Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that 
 they would give $1 million toward the construction of a 
 D-Day memorial to be placed in Virginia.
2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying 
 Texaco Inc. for $35 billion. 
2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that 
 it had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of an 
 1994 agreement with the U.S.
2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five 
 years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal 
 investigation of the energy company Enron.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television 
 episodes sold.
2013  smiled


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Hotkey to hide open programs 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 15

It was interesting this weekend, how some of the media
pretended, that there were no veterans getting mad about
being locked out of their War Memorials and that people 
were removing "Barry-Cades" (Steel barricades named after 
one of Obama's previous names "Barry Soeto"), and carrying 
them to the White House. I saw it on live camera and 
thought it was hilarious, all these people carrying the 
"Barry-Cades" like they were flags, and clattering them 
into a heap in front of the tall White House steel barriers.

Other media ignored the truckers protest. Sure, there were
not a million trucks. I never expected that many, and they
did not shut down the Beltway, but with their blaring truck 
horns and travelling in bunches of 5 to 20, they sure were 
noticeable. With more mature organization, they could well
have accomplished a lot more than they did, but they probably
realized, that they had neither the organization nor the 
numbers of the bikers. Some of the media showed them, others
ignored them.

Also mostly ignored was domestic terrorism like today's Bonehead.
He does not fit the preconceived model of a terroist. Just
a nutty hillbilly. 

Luckily I have friends all over, who send me links to what is
going on, even though the mainstream media does not report it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The higher the buildings, the lower the morals. --- Noel Coward (1899 - 1973) Beware of the man who won't be bothered with details. --- William Feather (1908 - 1976)
>From Roland An old man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?" The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And I know he won't ask for directions."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river and sees tables laden with food. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher. The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk, after eyeing the tables with the food, says, "Yess, Preacher..I sure am." The preacher then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked. "Nooo, I didn't!" said the drunk. The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?" "Noooo, I did not Reverrend." The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?" The ole drunk wipes his eyes and says to the preacher: "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Thanks to NanaRina for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Hope Ma Does Not See That!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Arkansas Hillbilly jailed for knocking down high voltage power Reported by Walter the Stonecarver Agents from the FBI and Joint Terrorism Task Force were called to Woodring's home Friday after neighbors reported hearing a loud explosion in his backyard. At the home, agents noticed a blue hose that matched one used in an August incident where power lines were cut down and dragged across train tracks. Federal agents say Woodring admitted responsibility for the August case and for two other incidents where parts of the power grid where sabotaged. That includes one on September 29th when an Entergy sub- station was set on fire, and the words "you should have expected us" were inscribed across a metal panel. Agents say Woodring also admitted to using a stolen tractor to pull down power lines near his home last weekend -- an incident that caused 9,000 people to lose power. Woodring is charged with destruction of an energy facility. He is expected to appear in front of a federal judge on Tuesday. Tech Support Pits From: Melanie Re: Hotkey to hide programs Dear Webby You mentioned a Hot key once for hiding all open windows, without hutting thm down, and just having a clean desktop. Due to my senility, I can't remember that far back, though. Can you please tell us again? Melanie Dear Melanie Hold the Windows key, and hit D (for Desktop) All your open windows will minimize to the task bar. When the coast is clear again, hit the Windows key and D again, and they all open up again. If you have lots of windows open, count on a second per window to minimize. Yesterday's trick for instant screensaver is faster, but Windows Key + D allows you to open other programs or search the desktop for a certain icon, that you know is there SOMEwhere. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Antacid Tablets as Calcium Supplement Many of us are calcium deficient. Calcium supplements are widely available, but very expensive. Here's an inexpensive tip: Antacid products. The chewable antacids are calcium rich. The labels indicate that the product may be used as a calcium supplement and give dosage instructions for that. Large bottles of tasty, fruit flavored antacids save more than 50% in cost over the "calcium supplements" being sold with the same value of calcium. By Arthur Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
23-year-old yuppy Johnny Slick parks his brand-new BMW M3 Coupe in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck comes along too close to the curb and completely tear's off the driver's side door. Johnny immediately grabs his mobile phone and dials 911. Five minutes later, a policeman pulls up. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, Johnny begins screaming and ranting hysterically. His car, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again. Johnny Slick finally winds down from his rant, the policeman shaking his head in disgust and disbelief: "I can't believe how materialistic you yuppies are," he says. "You're so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" Johnny asks arrogantly. The policeman replies, "Didn't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you!" "Oh, my GOD!!!!! " Johnny screams. "Where's my Rolex?!?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
John took Wendy to dinner at a really posh restaurant. They walked in, were ushered to a table by a formally dressed maitre d', and sat down at a table on which were displayed the finest china and crystal. Taking the damask napkin from the solid silver napkin ring, Wendy unfolded it, put it around her neck and proceeded to tie a knot in the back. Staring at her in utter disbelief, the maitre d' said, between gritted teeth, "Ma'am, if you want a haircut, the barbershop is on the other side of the street."

» Edmonton Corn Maze

Today, Oct 15, in
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island 
 of St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean.
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to 
 presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated 
 that Lincoln would look better if he would grow a beard.
1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in the 
 western Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres 
 were bought from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre.
1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was 
 executed for treason.
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that 
 U.S. intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet
 medium-range missle sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. 
 President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordred 
 the naval "quarantine" of Cuba.
1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev 
 had been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei
 N. Kosygin.
1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them 
 down in Beirut International Airport.
1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed.
1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings, 
 surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 
 career points.
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade 
 sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers.
1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the 
 land-speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than
 the speed of sound.
1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, it sent back pictures 
 of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing.
1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba 
 for the seventh year in a row.
2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of 
 Jupiter's moon Io.
2013  smiled


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Instant Start screen saver 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 14.
Thanksgiving Day in Canada.

Because Hagar the Horrible's great-grandfather discovered
Canada 550 years before Columbus discovered the Caribbean,
our Thanksgiving Day is earlier than the one in the USA.

It is celebrated the same way, though. Turkeys and pumpkins
are sacrificed, and leftovers are distributed to less 
fortunate neighbors, so that the kids don't whine about
five days of leftovers.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. --- Margaret Mead
A man and his wife are driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over. The man pulls over, the officer approaches the car and the following scene ensues: State cop: "License and registration please." Man: "I'm sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?" State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph." Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65." Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!" State cop: "I'm also citing you for having a tail light out." Man: "But officer, I wasn't aware it was out." Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it's been out for two months." State Cop: "I'm also fining you for not wearing your seat belt." Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were a pproaching my car." Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt." Man: "Will you just shut your mouth, Betty?!" State Cop: "Ma'am, does he always talk to you this way? Wife: "Only when he's drunk."
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

After years of his wife's pleading, this rich good ole' boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand. He said, "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Preacher replied, "Oh!! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house." The man said, "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself, it was such a damn good sermon!" The Reverend said, "Sir, PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!" The man said, "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that i thought it was so damn good, I put $5000 in that there collection plate." And the Reverend said, "No Shit? That was damn nice of you, Sir!"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture by KDB: Click on the picture for the large version Burning Bush
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Newlywed in Germany German groom forgets bride at gas station Reported by Mainichi BERLIN (AP) ^-- A German couple's marriage got off to a rocky start when the groom forgot his bride at a highway gas station on the way home from their honeymoon, only noticing she was missing after hours had passed. Police said Friday the couple was heading home to Berlin from France when the man pulled over near the central town of Bad Hersfeld late Thursday to fill up their van. The woman had been sleeping in the back but got up -- unbeknownst to the man -- to use the toilets and he drove off before she returned. Only after 2.5 hours on the road did he notice she was gone and called police, who said she was patiently waiting. Tech Support Pits From: Ricky Re: Instant Start Screensaver Dear Webby Wanted to ask you a questions. Is there a hotkey, or combination of keys I can hit real quick that will start my screensaver? I seem to remember being able to do that on the old mac that I used in elementary, now I am on Windows. Thanks, Ricky Dear Ricky Most of your screensavers are in directories, that are hidden by default. First you have to UN-hide them. In the File Explorer (Right-click START, click EXPLORE) click on TOOLS FOLDER OPTIONS VIEW In there tell it to SHOW hidden files, folders and drives, and take away the checkmark from HIDE EXTENSIONS from... That last one is totally insane, and nobody has ever figured out why that is still the default, after people have bitched about it for about 20 years. You NEED to know what kind of files you are dealing with! OK, once you have civilized things, do a Search for *.SCR files. That's the screensavers. Since they are not in the default search path, that might take a while. When the Search shows you a list of them, gently right-click one, and select "Open File Location" Usually that is a System directory like System32 In there, highlight one of the SCR files, right-click it, and make a shortcut to it. Drag that shortcut out onto the desktop. Now, whenever you click that shortcut, your screen saver will start instantly, and hides whatever you were doing. You can configure the screen saver so that it requires a password to go away. To do it that way, you need the longwinded procedure to set it up: Right-click your desktop, and then click Properties. In the Display Properties dialog box, click the Screen Saver tab. Click the Screen saver drop-down box, and then click a screen saver. Click the Preview button to see how the screen saver will appear on your monitor. Move your mouse or press a key to return to the Display Properties dialog box. Click the Settings button to change the standard behavior of the screen saver you selected. (Each screen saver has its own settings dialog box.) Then, click OK. In the Wait box, type the number of minutes the computer should wait to start the screen saver after you last touched the keyboard or mouse. If you are the only person who uses your computer and you are not concerned about security, clear the On resume, display Welcome Screen check box. Otherwise, leave this check box selected. Welcome Screen is the password prompt. if you don't want anybody to be able to snoop, while you are getting coffee, leave that checkbox checked. Click OK. That's it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Foam Pipe Insulation for Organizing Wires Foam pipe insulators are excellent for organizing loose wires. They come already slit, so the wires can be slipped right into them. They can be easily cut to any length and they come in either black or white. By Barb Careful there! Don't let any electrical or building or insurance inspector see that! They will pitch a temper tantrum! Electrical wires are rated for free air or conduit, and depend on radiating heat to keep from melting the insulation. Using short pieces of foam no longer than 2" is OK, but they have very little strength when they are that short. You can definitely use foam sleeves temporarily to sort out a mess, and then spiral colored electrical tape around the wires. You can get electrical tape in six prime colors, including writable white. Using one or two colors gives you 42 variations, which should be plenty for any home. (6 single colors plus 36 2 color combos) Use long, 1 turn per foot, or longer, spirals. The white electrical tape takes writing from Sharpies and even ball point pens. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. Then Chad said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Sherm, "how did you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Chad. "My last word is always 'Yes, Dear.' "
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a grant application or article by grant appicants pretending to be scientists: "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original reference. "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... These data are practically meaningless. "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other results didn't fit my theory. "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph. "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to this sometime, if funded. "IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once "IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice "IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice "IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... It sounds good. "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... My buddy thinks so, too. "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong. "ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumor has it. "A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"... A wild guess. "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over my beer. "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it either. "THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS" ... Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless topic selected by my committee. "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"... I quit.

» Rain Forests

Today, Oct 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman 
 forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of 
 England.
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands 
 for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile.
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached agreement 
 for the international marketing rights for the phonograph.
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in 
 Milwaukee, WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest not serious 
 and he continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk 
 was captured at the scene of the shooting.
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane 
 speed record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour.
1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made debut.
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from 
 the League of Nations.
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide 
rather than face execution after being accused of conspiring 
 against Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow.
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade 
 liberated the city of Athens.
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck 
 Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first 
 American to break the sound barrier.
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton
 Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 
 25,000 people.
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first 
 suggested the idea of a Peace Corps.
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began when U.S. reconnaissance 
 aircrafts photographed Soviet construction of intermediate-
 range missile sites in Cuba.
1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace 
 Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in 
 America. He was the youngest person to receive the award.
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. 
 spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7.
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the 
 death of President Nasser.
1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S. 
 wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the 
 arms race in space.
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned 
 well in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours.
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant 
 politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole 
 responsibility for running Northern Ireland.
2013  smiled


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SBCGLOBAL mail problem 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 13.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. --- Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)
"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching twelve fish, while he didn't catch any!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to get into smaller clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. No need to buy pills and snake-oils, just methods and three 15 minute easy exercises per week. Money Back Guaranteed Results.

From a church bulletin: A family-type film, suitable for both children and parents, will be shown at the Sunday evening service at 6:00 p.m. Free puppies will be given to all children not accompanied by a parent.
Thanks to NanaRina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to La Crystal King-Woolfork, 28, Vero Beach, Floriduh Jailed for Stabbing Boyfriend In Eye After He Refused To Have Threesome With Her Reported by The Weekly Vice La Crystal King-Woolfork, a 28-year-old Florida woman, has been jailed after she allegedly stabbed her boyfriend in the eye with a knife after he turned down her request for a threesome. According to the Indian River Sheriff's Office, a deputy was dispatched to Indian River Medical Center after a man with a stab wound to the eye arrived to the ER for treatment. The arriving deputy interviewed the victim, who stated that his girlfriend stabbed him in the eye after he refused to have sex with her. He went on to say that he was at home sleeping at around 4 a.m. that morning when his girlfriend, King-Woolfork, arrived home drunk and horny for sex. When he told King-Woolfork that he wasn't interested in having sex that night, she became angry and stabbed him in the eye with a knife. The victim reportedly wrestled the knife away from King-Woolfork, hid the knife so she couldn't find it, and then asked a neighbor to give him a ride to the hospital. Deputies also interviewed King-Woolfork who stated that she and a female friend were at the Shake Your Booty dance club that evening before returning home at around 4 a.m.. King-Woolfork went on to say that she and the female friend were having sex next to the victim when she asked him to join in. When the boyfriend refused to join, the female friend reportedly left the bed. That's when King-Woolfork reportedly picked up the knife and a struggle ensued between them. King-Woolfork denied stabbing the victim with the knife, but admitted to striking the victim several times in the face with a metal candle holder. Arguing the details about how the victim got stabbed in the eye didn't matter much to deputies who took King-Woolfork into custody and recovered the knife. King-Woolfork was booked into the Indian River County Jail and charged with attempted murder. Bail has not yet been established in the case. Tech Support Pits From: Marjorie Re: SBCGLOBAL mail problem Dear Webby Each morning I look forward to reading your paper, this morning it didn't arrive, I hope you can send me todays issue. Thanks, Marjorie on sbcglobal.net Dear Marjorie Just a routine Yahoo malfunction. Once your newsletters, both regular and large font, have entered the Yahoo server, there is nothing more that I can do about them. SBCGLOBAL is just a paid version of Yahoo, plus connection. Like the free version of Yahoo, you are subject to their routine malfunctions. Complaining to their support is usually a waste of time. I would recommend, that you get yourself a Gmail address on the side and gradually shift important stuff like phone and electricity invoices, and of course the newsletters, over to Gmail. With Gmail you can benefit from their excellent filtering and easy filter making, AND then forward the filtered mail to wherever you want, even your Yahoo/SBCGLOBAL mail. That way you can use whatever email program you currently use for sorting and filing, and still have Gmail as an archive to fall back on. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing a Nail That Has Lost Its Head When the nail head breaks off a nail, it can be tough to get the claw of the hammer to grip the nail. To remove the nail, slip the claw of the hammer over the remainder of the nail and then pull the nail out by moving the hammer sideways instead of straight out. By ThriftyFun A Stanley or Eastwing nail puller is usually around $10. The gripping ends are razor sharp and harder than a claw hammer. If the wood is fine furniture, make it wet around the nail. That softens it, and you can tap the colored end (Blue on a Stanley) so that it depresses the wood and grips the nail. It will plow a groove into even a hardened spiral nail. Once you have a grip, slide a steel putty knife under the curve, and with the awesome leverage of the nail puller, easily pull it out. Wetting the wood and using a putty knife is of course just for fine furniture, not for the chicken coop or the kid's tree house. Click through the pictrue for larger size. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Rhonda When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked. Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I'll take them." Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened." I told her: "I'll go talk to the manager", locked the till, took the opened package and dropped it back on the shelf on my way to a nap in the back of the warehouse.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Dave I work in a school department that is supported by educational grants. On his first day, my new boss delivered some bad news. He said, "Unfortunately, your last boss failed to apply for the grant that supports your work. You will be terminated at the end of this month. Did you know that?" Admittedly, I was unprepared for this, but I was not shocked. A week before the end of my tenure, the new boss came to me. He said, "Before you go, please submit the lesson plans you would have used for the next six months." I said, "Oh, I'm sorry -- those lesson plans would have been covered by the grant. Didn't you know that?"

» Maps of Europe, according to different prejudices

Today, Oct 13, in
54 The Roman emperor Claudius I died after being poisoned by 
 his wife, Agrippina.
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction 
 of a naval fleet.
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in 
 Washington, DC. The building was torched by the Cnucks in
 1812, was whitewashed in 1818 and became known as the 
 White House.
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of 
 Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended 
 any further U.S. invasion of Canada.
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by 
 Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY.
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution.
1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an 
 armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany.
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during WWII.
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units 
 landed at Piraeus.
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno.
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel 
 on an hour long special.
1977 Four Palestinians hijacked a Lufthansa airliner to Somalia. 
 They demanded the release of members of the Red Army Faction.
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as 
 the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated.
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow 
 of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega.
1990 Le Duc Tho died at the age of 79. He was a co-founder 
 of the Vietnamese Communist Party.
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France 
 supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours.
1995 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest.
1999 The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the 
 Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT).
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground 
 in the San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days 
 underground.
2013  smiled


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How to completely clean Norton off a machine: 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 12.

We got 4 inches of snow overnight. Not much, compared
to other areas, that got a couple of feet. Half of that 
melted by evening. We are most definitely out of the 
Warming ripple and into the Cooling ripple, even in 
some areas, where the peeple firmly believed 
Al Gore and his Gullible Warming con job.

Don't worry, he is already working on an Ice Age Scare
movie, and has hired a whole bunch of Jewish Mother-in-Laws
to advise him on how to make you feel guilty. That's big
business, ya know!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. --- John E. Southard
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it." So she drove the boat to shore and slammed it against the dock. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. Set the table, cook dinner and do the dishes."
Stink Bug Control! (This is NOT about the Government!) In Alaska, don't worry about stinkbugs, yet. So far they are only in the lower 48 states, and worst in the East. If the stinkbugs have started to show up in your area, get this book! The price WILL go up, so don't procrastinate! Get StinkBug Control now!

From Manure to S.H.I.T. Manure: In the 15th and 16th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. I didn't know the origins of this word, did you?? I had always thought it was a golf term.
Click on the picture for the large version By evening half of the snow had melted, but still looked pretty.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steve Orville Clemons, 69, Wildwood, Floriduh Pantless Driver Jailed After Masturbating In McDonald's Drive Thru Reported by The Weekly Vice Steve Orville Clemons, a 69-year-old Florida man, was jailed late last month after he allegedly masturbated in a McDonald's drive-thru while attempting to force the cashier to touch him. According to police, Clemons was picking up an order at a McDonalds drive-thru in Wildwood late last month when the drive-thru cashier who was assisting him saw that he had no pants on and was masturbating inside his car. Investigators say the cashier had turned to hand Clemons his change when he suddenly grabbed her hand and attempted to pull it into his vehicle. The employee immediately yanked her hand away, closed the window and called 911. Officers searched the area and located Clemons at a nearby gas station. When officers approached the vehicle, Clemens was still seated in his vehicle without any pants - although he did manage to find a t-shirt which was placed on his lap. Clemons was booked into the Sumpter County Jail and charged with battery. He was released a short time later after posting $500 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Jan Re: Getting rid of Norton Dear Webby Me again,if i just go to uninstall and let it uninstall what it does of Norton since you say it doesn't all get out and install McAfee will I and my computer be ok???????? Jan Dear Jan Go to http://webby.com/tools Hit CTRL F to find type Norton and the browser will highlight a program called Remove Norton Use that to completely remove Norton. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Bathroom Mirror for Morning Reminders I would occasionally leave the house in the mornings, forgetting to put my refrigerated lunch in my bag. To remember something for the next day (keys, documents, etc.), I use an old/stale lipstick to write a one-word reminder on my bathroom or vanity mirror. While putting on my makeup, it jogs my memory, and I see to it as soon as I'm done doing my makeup and hair. If you prepare a hot breakfast in the mornings, this tip can also remind you to make sure the stove is off before you leave the house. You can also tape a reminder note on your door knob, so that you will see it as you open your door to leave. Having the reminder on the door knob is especially good for keys. By Lily I read that most Dry-Erase markers also work well on mirrors and are easier to clean off than lipstick. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned "What if the place is still bugged?" The groom says, "I'll look for a bug." He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug "AHA!" Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?" The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?" The hotel manager says, "Well, the room under you complained about the chandelier falling on them!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded! "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman. "I doubt it," said the apparent drunk, "I am stone cold sober. I'm the Designated Decoy!"

» Floored

Today, Oct 12, in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted 
 Watling Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had 
 found Asia while attempting to find a Western ocean 
 route to India. The same day he claimed the land for 
 Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain.
1792 The first monument honoring Christopher Columbus 
 was dedicated in Baltimore, MD.
1810 Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese 
 of Saxony-Hildburghausen. The royalty invited the public 
 to attend the event which became an annual celebration 
 that later became known as Oktoberfest.
1860 Inventor Elmer Sperry was born on this day. He held 
 patents on more than 400 inventions. The most important 
 being the Sperry Automatic Pilot.
1892 In celebration of the 400th anniversary of the Columbus 
 landing the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance 
 was first recited in public schools.
1920 Construction of the Holland Tunnel began. It opened 
 on November 13, 1927. The tunnel links Jersey City, NJ 
 and New York City, NY.
1933 John Dillinger, bank robber, escaped from a jail 
 in Allen County, OH. The sheriff was killed by his gang 
 as they helped Dillinger escape.
1933 The U.S. Department of Justice acquired Alcatraz 
 Island from the U.S. Army.
1960 Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev pounded a shoe on 
 his desk during a dispute at a U.N. General Assembly.
1964 The Soviet Union launched Voskhod 1 into orbit around 
 the Earth. It was the first space flight to have a 
 multi-person crew and the first flight to be performed 
 without space suits.
1972 During the Vietnam War, a racial brawl broke out 
 aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. Nearly 50 
 sailors were injured.
1976 China announced that Hua Guo-feng was named to succeed 
 the late Mao Tse-tung as chairman of the Communist Party.
1984 An attempt on British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's 
 life was unsuccessful, but did take the lives of five 
 people. The bomb had been planted by the I.R.A.
1988 Federal prosecutors announced that the Sundstrand Corp. 
 would pay $115 million dollars to settle with the Pentagon 
 for overbilling airplane parts over a five-year period.
1989 The U.S. House of Representatives approved a statutory 
 federal ban on the destruction of the American flag.
1994 Haitian military leader Raoul Cedras was granted 
 political asylum by Panama.
1994 The Magellan space probe ended its four-year mission 
 to Venus for the purpose of mapping.
1997 The St. Francis Basilica and 15th-century bell tower 
 above Foligno city hall in Italy were damaged by 3 
 earthquakes.
1998 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Online 
 Copyright Bill.
1999 In Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf seized power in a 
 bloodless coup that toppled Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif. 
 The Supreme Court ruled that the coup was legal but 
 insisted that a civilian government be restored within 
 three years.
2000 In Aden, Yemen, the USS Cole, a U.S. Navy mine sweeper,
 experienced a large explosion while refueling. The explosion 
 was the result of a terrorist attack using a small boat. 17 
 crewmembers were killed and at least 39 were injured.
2000 In Denver, CO, the U.S. District Court denied Timothy 
 McVeigh's request for a new trial.
2001 A car bomb exploded in Madrid, Spain, that injured 
 17 people. Basque separatists claimed responsibility.
2002 In Bali, Indonesia, over 180 people were killed and 
 over 300 were injured when a bomb was detonated in a 
 nightclub district. 
2013  smiled


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Norton 360 vs McAfee Total Protection 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 11.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



The picture today is from yesterday, when it was clear and
cold. I saw those colors during my walk from a bit more than
a quarter mile away, up on the high prairie. (Black Diamond
is in a sheltered valley.) 
I saw the sun setting, with the shadow of the mountains
creeping up to those colorful bushes.

So I hotfooted it up there, pant, pant, and so was Copper,
the dog. I beat the shadow, just barely. You see my feet
already in the shadow. It sure heated me up, but I think
it was worth it.

Tonight it was still cold and windy, but with horizontal
rain that soaked my pants. And right now it is snowing.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. --- John E. Southard
>From Benster Life just gets better as you get older doesn't it. I was in a Starbucks Coffee recently when my stomach started rumbling and I realized that I desperately needed to f@rt. The place was packed but the music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my farts to the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel much better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me. I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my Ipod. This is what happens when old people start using technology.
Stink Bug Control! (This is NOT about the Government!) In Alaska, don't worry about stinkbugs, yet. So far they are only in the lower 48 states, and worst in the East. If the stinkbugs have started to show up in your area, get this book! The price WILL go up, so don't procrastinate! Get StinkBug Control now!

>From Roland General Baldwin had barely arrived in the forward area when a sniper's bullet removed a button from his shirt. He threw himself to the ground in terror. The men stood around with the greatest unconcern. The general yelled at a passing sergeant. "Hey, isn't somebody going to kill that darned sniper?" The sergeant looked down at the general and replied: "I guess not, general. We're scared that if we kill him, the enemy will replace him with somebody who knows how to shoot."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kendrick Ruth, 35, Long beach, California Jailed After Punching Female Cashier In Face Because He Didn't Have Enough Money for $1.41 Cigar Reported by The Weekly Vice Kendrick Ruth, a 35-year-old California man, was jailed Wednesday after he allegedly punched a female gas station cashier in the face because he didn't have enough change for a cigar. According to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Office, a man hunt for Ruth was initiated last month after he punched a female cashier in the face after he tried to purchase a $1.41 Swisher Sweet cigar with a single dollar bill that he had in his pocket. Investigators say Ruth punched 23-year-old Yadira Lara directly between the eyes with a closed fist. Ruth then fled the scene with the cigar and remained on the loose until he was identified and tracked down by deputies last Wednesday. The victim reportedly sustained serious injury to her left eye and has been told that the damage is permanent and may lead to blindness in that eye. Ruth was booked into jail and charged with robbery and assault. His bail has been set at $100,000, well above the cost of a cigar. Tech Support Pits From: Jan Re: Norton vs McAfee Dear Webby Ok, Thank you for your reply..........now what is the difference between Norton 360 and McAfee since you favor McAfee????? Jan Dear Jan Norton used to be very good until the Norton Ads in 1998 and 1999 claimed that it took Norton to make Windows complete. That irked somebody at Microsoft, and with all versions since then, Norton just does not work very well. Also, Norton habitually marks a spot on the hard drive as bad, and hides expiry date and all kinds of stuff there. Marking a perfectly good prime spot on the hard drive as bad, THAT IRKS ME! In addition to that, Norton has a reputation for having a lot of hidden files and being very difficult to remove, all in addition to not catching really nasty malware. Norton is definitely not at the top any more, like it was until about 1999. The top nowadays is McAfee and Kasperski. They are about equal. I use McAfee, because I have used it since the mid 80's, and see no urgent reason to switch. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pudding as Edible Finger Paint If you've got a toddler like mine who likes to put everything in his mouth, just mix some food coloring in vanilla pudding, and let your toddler play! If they put their fingers in their mouth, then there's no harm done. Enjoy! By Kenzie H Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster, the boss asked, "Is your daddy home?" "Yes," whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed, whispering voice, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated, the boss asked, "Why are they there?" Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle, "They're looking for me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Tammy is having a bad day at the roulette tables in 'Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to Tammy, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... why don't you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Thinking Maybe she'd won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. Tammy is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"

» Vaulted Ceilings

Today, Oct 11, in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle 
 on Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under 
 Gen. Benedict Arnold suffered heavy losses.
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was 
 put into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The 
 ferry went between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ.
1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. 
 The electric machine was used for counting votes for the 
 U.S. Congress, however the Congress did not buy it.
1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film 
 for cameras.
1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British 
 and the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State.
1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a 
 nationwide company with stores in all 48 states.
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter 
 from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. 
 atomic program rapidly.
1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned 
 Apollo mission was the first in which live television 
 broadcasts were received from orbit.
1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went 
 out of service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant 
 Pond, ME, were switched to direct-dial service.
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female 
 astronaut to space walk. She was aboard Challenger.
1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace.
1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border.
1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay 
 rights measure in the state was unconstitutional.
2013  smiled


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Free Anti-malware 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. --- Steven Weinberg (1933 - ),
The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply: "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
Stink Bug Control! (This is NOT about the Government!) In Alaska, don't worry about stinkbugs, yet. So far they are only in the lower 48 states, and worst in the East. If the stinkbugs have started to show up in your area, get this book! The price WILL go up, so don't procrastinate! Get StinkBug Control now!

A man was just falling off to sleep when his wife nudged him and said the telephone was ringing. "At this hour it's probably for you," she said, closing her eyes. The phone by their bed was not working, so the man rolled out of bed and trundled downstairs. When he returned, his wife was asleep. He woke her and said, "It wasn't for me, after all." He waited as she drug herself out of bed, pulled on her robe and headed for the stairs. Then he added, "It was a wrong number."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rogelio Andaverde, 34, Edinburg, Texas Faked His Own Kidnapping To Party, Because He Was Afraid Of His Wife Reported by Sailor Last week, Rogelio Andaverde let it be known that he'd rather be kidnapped at gunpoint than tell his wife he wanted to go out partying. The 34-year-old Edinburg, Texas man allegedly staged his own kidnapping last Tuesday. At about 10:30 p.m. he had his buddies -- wearing masks and toting guns -- break into his home while his wife was there and take him at gunpoint, police tell the San Antonio Express-News. The frantic woman called authorities, who fanned out across the neighborhood to look for Andaverde, Fox News reports. Police grew suspicious when they couldn't find any leads, and even more-so when Andaverde turned up. He reportedly told his wife that his kidnappers showed mercy and set him free. But later he allegedly confessed that he lied about the kidnapping so he could go out on the town with his buddies. He also reportedly said he was afraid of his wife. "We have people file false reports all the time, and we put them in jail for it," Hidalgo County Sheriff Guadalupe Treviño told The Monitor. "But I've never had someone do it just to get out of the house." Andaverde was charged with making a false report, and deputies are looking for his friends -- the bogus kidnappers -- for questioning. Fake or not, it was a kidnapping and involved guns. They go to jail too. Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Free Anti-Virus For the person who wanted good free virus protection: I've used Microsoft Security Essentials for several years with no problems. I also use CrapCleaner (run every day), Malwarebytes and Spybot Search and Destroy (run both at least once a week) along with it. So far, they have worked well for me. Noella Dear Noella Keep in mind, A) if Microsoft Security Essentials was good enough to sell, Microsoft surely wood, and B) Because a huge number of people use it, it is a favorite target for hackers. Running CrapCleaner, Malwarebytes and Spybot Search and Destroy daily is definitely a good idea if you rely on Microsoft Security Essentials, so is Defensive Computing, just like defensive riding is a good idea when riding a bike in hostile traffic. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com A Fix for Loose Dresser Knobs For loose dresser knobs that will not remain tightened, you might consider bow or ribbon ties. This will work best in children's rooms, bedrooms and bathrooms, since the look is rather feminine. I was so frustrated with my bedroom chest of drawers that I took out the hardware and threaded pretty ribbons through the holes. I made bows, and now, whenever I open a drawer, it tightens the bow. No more problem! Just a simple solution to a small frustration. By Janet If someone does not want ribbons but have easy to clean matching knobs or handles, I would recommend a drop of Loctite. Loctite is available in all the better hardware and electrical supply and bearing dealerships. It comes in tiny red bottles for industrial use and tubes for home use. Traditionally the contents are color coded: Green for alredy assembled fasteners. It wicks into the thread. Blue if you have to be able to remove it with tools. It won't rattle loose even on a Harley, but you CAN open it, if you have to. Red Loctite is permanent. You need a torch to soften it. Don't use that on a furnace fan pulley! However, for knobs, that should stay locked for a lifetime, put a drop onto the thread before you put the nut on, or put the nut on and tighten it, then apply a tiny drop of the Green. It will wick into the thread. I used Loctite not just at home but in industry on everything from motors, generators, welders, conveyor belts, crushers, ball and rod mills, pumps, etc. Since just a tiny drop is all you need, one of those tiny bottles will probably last you a lifetime. Next time you are at Home Depot or Ace, look for Loctite, or look for the nearest dealer at http://loctite.com They have all kinds of other industrial glues and sealers too, just look for Threadlockers. And yes, it works well on stove door handles, fridge handles, anything that should be tighter than it is. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the dollar, the said, "There you are, my dear, but tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," said the little girl. "She sells candy."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A minister announced to the congregation that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per person. "However, if you're over 65," he said, "the price will be only $5.50." From the back of the sanctuary, a woman's voice rang out, "Do you really think I'd give you that information for only fifty cents?"

» American Heraldry

Today, Oct 10, in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD.
1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt.
1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company.
1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries 
 under Sun Yat-sen.
1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of 
 the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the 
 Panama Canal.
1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale.
1938 Nazi Germany completed annexation of Czechoslovakia's 
 Sudetenland.
1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as president
1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of 
 the first global airline service.
1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people.
1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts" 
 comic strip.
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of 
 British rule.
1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. 
 He set the record at 54 days and 18 hours.
1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in 
 reaction to a military coup that forced President 
 Jean-Claude Aristide into exile.
1994 Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander-in-
 chief of the army and pledged to leave the country.
2003 Rush Limbaugh annouced that he was addicted to painkillers 
 and that he was going to check into a rehab center.
2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 
2013  smiled


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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 9

Thank you very much, Cookie!

My lawn is bright yellow. Completely covered with bright
yellow leaves. Around here that does not mean anybody would
go buy a rake and garbage bag, except maybe the newcomers
in the new subdivision.
Most people just look to the Western horizon and guess about
when the next Chinook will arrive.

The climatologists had predicted a Chinook for the weekend,
but with those bozos you got to be glad if they can correctly
predict that after Friday there is a good chance for a weekend.

They are still yapping about Gullible Warming. Yeah, right.
Down South, maybe. Here we had two degrees above freezing,
thin November rain and a gusty 20 - 40 mph North-West wind
while I took Copper, my neighbor's dog, for our regular 
evening walk. Tomorrow I will be wearing gloves!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
>From Dave Morris Schwartz is dying and is on his deathbed. He is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them: "Bennie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses.' Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza. Hymie, I want you to take the offices over in City Center. Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown" The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, “Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property." Sarah replies, "Property schmoperty...the schmuck had a newspaper route."
Stink Bug Control! (This is NOT about the Government!) In Alaska, don't worry about stinkbugs, yet. So far they are only in the lower 48 states, and worst in the East. If the stinkbugs have started to show up in your area, get this book! The price WILL go up, so don't procrastinate! Get StinkBug Control now!

>From Dave A Jewish couple won twenty-million pounds on the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable. Then they decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home. The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining room table for four, as they were inviting the Cohens to lunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping. When they returned, they found the table set for eight. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four. The butler replied, "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes and the Knishes!"
Sun in my neighbor's poplar tree Click on the picture for the large version and here with the sun behind a branch Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to April Chamberlain, 30, Oklahoma City, OK Teacher jailed for passing out drunk at school with whisky in purse Reported by The Weekly Vice April Chamberlain, a 30-year-old substitute teacher at Milwood High School, was jailed Wednesday after she was allegedly found passed-out drunk with a bottle of whiskey in her purse. According to the Oklahoma County Sheriff's Office, Chamberlain was substitute teaching a biology class while she appeared disoriented and persisted in using profanity with students. When students found Chamberlain passed out in the office, they contacted a coach who alerted the school principal. Investigators say Chamberlain was slow to wake up after she had been tapped on the shoulder and shouted at to "wake up." A deputy at the scene found an opened bottle of Canadian Whiskey in Chamberlain's purse and noted that she smelled strongly of alcohol. Chamberlain also reportedly slurred her words and appeared to be unsteady on her feet. She was booked into the Oklahoma County Jail and charged with public drunkenness. Following the arrest, Millwood Public Schools Superintendent, Cecilia Robinson, announced that Chamberlain was "only a substitute teacher". Tech Support Pits From: Jan Re: Free Anti-Virus Webby I was wanting to know IF you knew of any Free Anti Virus that was really good and did the job of protecting, I at times can not afford the ones like you use etc..and all. May sound strange but that's the way it is for me .. I want some thing that Can do the job and be trust worthy and thought you would be the one to know. Thank you so much and I hope you are doing ok with your eyes .... Jan Dear Jan If the free ones were good enough, then nobody would spend $30 a year for a better one. Depending on what one has to protect, an empty KFC bucket might be good enough for a motorcycle helmet. Personally, I prefer a BELL helmet. Full face. That is why I use McAfee McAfee Total Protection has all kinds of other goodies included. For example, if somebody sends me a link, and there is some kind of danger there, It pops a big, goofy warning screen with 2" high letters yelling: "WHOA! Don't go there! Back up!" and it blocks that site from sending anything, even cookies. Like that, it has all kinds of protectors built in, not just virus and malware protection. You just have to decide, whether your stuff is worth $30 - $40 a year, or whether it is no big deal if you lose it all and it is easy enough to start all over. If you decide to gamble, upload the important stuff to some cloud based archive. There are some free ones available, though I have not checked those out. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Give Halloween Pencils Instead of Candy For Halloween I give out Halloween pencils. You can get them at the Dollar Store, there is usually 10 in a package. They always get too much candy, and it can be used after the holiday. The kids love it, so do the parents! I have been doing this for years now. By Lynda (crabby) from Kearny NJ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband, "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, 20; your hair, 18; your eyes, 16, and your figure, 25." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying: "WHOA, hold on there sweety! I haven't added them up yet!" Andy may eventually be able to walk again, if he is careful.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Johnny was in church when the wine and wafers were passed out. His mother leaned over and told him that he was not old enough to partake in the Communion. When the basket was passed around she leaned over once again to tell him to drop his money in, but Little Johhny held his dollar firmly in his hand, stating: "If I can't eat, I won't pay!"

» Captivating Black And White Photography

Today, Oct 9, in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished 
 from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against 
 punishments for religious offenses and giving away land 
 that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded 
 Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek 
 religious freedom.
1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered in 
 New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale.
1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is 
 now San Francisco, CA.
1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary 
 War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led 
 by George Washington, defeated the British troops under 
 Lord Cornwallis.
1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two 
 British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia.
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor.
1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope.
1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, 
 and St. Louis, MO, began.
1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with 
 the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm 
 later became Montgomery Wards.
1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their 
 longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of 2 miles.
1888 The public was admitted to the Washington Monument for 
 the first time. Currently the pbulic is blocked from it.
1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Be.
1936 The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting 
 electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was 
 later changed to Hoover Dam.
1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. 
 The dome was unharmed in the bombing.
1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY.
1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA.
1963 Over 2,000 people were killed in northeast Italy when 
 the Vaiont Dam was overrun by water. The incident was 
 caused by landslide that occurred behind the dam.
1967 Che Guevara was executed by Bolivian soldiers for 
 attempting to incite a revolution in Bolivia.
1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 
 The Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the 
 hydrogen bomb."
1983 Helen Moss joined the Brownies at the age of 83. 
 She became the oldest person to become a member.
1985 The hijackers of the Achille Lauro cruise liner 
 surrendered after the ship arrived in Port Said, Egypt.
1986 U.S. District Judge Harry E. Claiborne became the fifth 
 federal official to be removed from office through 
 impeachment. The U.S. Senate convicted Claiborne of 
 "high crimes and misdemeanors."
1986 The musical "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd 
 Webber opened in London.
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an 
 unidentified flying object. The report included a trio of 
 tall aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh.
1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf 
 in response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops 
 and hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border.
1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in 
 Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring 
 a hundred.
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing 
 Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that 
 water had been discovered in the planned impact plume on 
 the moon. 
2013  smiled


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Internet Radio 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 8
Thank you Allene!

OOOPS! I forgot the picture. Here it is:
The leaves on my Saskatoon bushes are turning colorful. 
Here is a picture of me in front of them today.


Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts. --- John Dewey (1859 - 1952)
An Irish Priest Transferred Recently to Texas Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?" "And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?" Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."
Best Data Recovery Software Find lost data on Hard Drives PC & Laptops Removable Drives Flash Drives Cameras Mobile Phones Memory Cards Easy to use and effective! Get Wise Recovery now!

This little guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders his drink. After a while, this big guy comes along and "WHAP" little guy's on the floor. The big guy says "That was a karate chop from Japan" So, the little guy gets up and sits down again. Soon, the big guy's back again, and "WHOOSH" little guy's on the floor again. The big guy says "that was a sumo chop from China" Little guy gets up and leaves. The big guy sits down where the little guy was. Thirty minutes later, the little guy comes back, and "BANG" big guy's on the floor, passed out. The little guy tells the bartender "When he wakes up, tell him that was a pipe wrench, from Sears."
Thanks to Sue in Saskatchewan for this picture of a prairie sunset Sunday evening. Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles Marqull Williams, 20 Man who forgot to flush arrested for buglary Reported by NewsOK A man accused of stealing some items from a home was charged with burglary based on what he left behind. Charles Marqull Williams, 20, was charged Wednesday with first-degree burglary in Oklahoma County District Court. A burglary was reported at 1509 SE 47 Place. The burglar apparently relieved himself in a toilet, leaving behind unflushed feces and a used piece of toilet paper on the floor, according to the probable cause affidavit. A DNA test on the toilet paper matched Williams, the affidavit states. Williams was convicted previously of second-degree burglary, concealing stolen property and possession of a controlled dangerous substance, records show. Tech Support Pits From: Allie Re: Internet radio Dear Webby, You once mentioned an Internet radio, that you use, but at the time I did not need it, so I neglected to bookmark it. Can you please tell me again? Allie Dear Allie I use Accu Radio They have a classic and a new user interface. Either one lets you choose from countless categories, ban artists, whom you don't like, and customize it to just what you want. For example, I just noticed a channel: "80's: No Metal" Turns out to be nice and perky, just fine for background. Another category mentiones: " .... No Rap" Some day, I will definitely check that out. Accu Country Internet Radio plays nicely in the background, no matter what you do with the browser. However, if you open a video chat on Skype, it immediately mutes automatically to just a very faint hint of music, that does not interfere. As soon as you end the chat, the radio comes back to the normal volume. The same goes for rebooting. Accu Radio comes back automatically. There are visual ads, but since you normally run it in the background anyway, they are no problem. You can run AccuRadio on any old computer. VISTA, Windows98, Windows2000, XP, etc are just fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Alcohol To Remove Permanent Marker If you get permanent marker on appliances/counter tops (like store receipt blue!), you can remove it with rubbing alcohol on a paper towel. Source: My Mom By JodiT from Aurora, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture. So, she holds up a hand and says: "ACTS 2:38!!!" The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: "How did you do this?" The woman replied:" I quoted scripture." The cop turned the burglar: "What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?" The burglar replied: "Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an axe and two 38's."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well-behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, a little girl said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead!!"

» Octoberfest Munich

Today, Oct 8, in
1895 The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in
 Philadelphia, PA.
1915 During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded.
1919 The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began.
1945 U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and 
 Canada would be given the secret to the atomic bomb.
1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea.
1952 "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for 
 the first time.
1966 The U.S. Government declared that LSD was dangerous 
 and an illegal substance.
1970 Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel 
 Prize for literature.
1982 In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity,
 were banned.
1993 The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI 
 of any wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on 
 the Branch Davidian compound. The fire that ended the 
 siege killed as many as 85 people.
1998 Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran 
 said that three border posts were destroyed before the 
 Taliban forces were forced to retreat. The Taliban of 
 Afghanistan denied the event occurred.
1998 Canada and Netherlands were voted into the U.N. 
 Security Council.
2001 Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to 
 be conducted outside of the international space station 
 without a shuttle present.
2002 A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's 
 request to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day 
 labor lockout. The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an 
 estimated $1 billion to $2 billion a day.
2003 China announced that it would have a human crew orbit 
 the Earth briefly on October 15.
2003 Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative 
 agreement that would allow the first commercial flights 
 between the two countries since the end of the Vietnam 
 War.
2004 The first-ever direct presidential elections were 
 held in Afghanistan. 
2013  smiled


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Automatic Search Suggestions 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 7

Enough others are writing about the US Govt blocking the
Veterans from the war memorials and kicking seniors out
of their houses, if they are on leased land. So I will
completely avoid those topics.

The leaves on my Saskatoon bushes are turning colorful. 
Here is a picture of me in front of them today.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
While on my desk assignment in the Army, I noticed that my co-worker never answered his phone. One day I asked him why, and he said, "If you had to pick up the telephone and say, 'Statistical section, Specialist Stan Strastewskivich speaking,' would you want to answer the phone?"
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> From Bill C My wife doesn't complain often, but once she was having a old-fashioned "heart-to-heart" with me and said, "Hon, you never listen to me. Every time I try to talk to you, you get this far-away look in your eyes after only a few seconds. Please promise me you'll try to work on that." The last thing I remember was replying, "I'm sorry, what was that you were saying?"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frank Harrison, 46, Tewksbury, MA Jailed After Rape Attempt Fails, Woman Cracks His Skull With Cooking Pot Reported by The Weekly Vice Frank Harrison, a 46-year-old Massachusetts man, was jailed Sunday after he allegedly tried to rape a woman - but ended up with several well-earned lumps on his head instead. According to Tewksbury police, officers were dispatched to an Extended Stay motel early Sunday morning after receiving reports about a man who appeared to be suffering from serious head trauma. Arriving officers eventually learned that Harrison received several lumps and cuts to his head after he allegedly entered a woman's motel room with a knife and attempted to rape her. When Harrison refused to let the woman leave the room, she reportedly grabbed a cooking pot and cracked him in the skull several times before fleeing the scene. Harrison was booked into jail and charged with kidnapping, assault to rape while armed, and indecent assault/battery. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Search Suggestions Dear Webby, Hope you are OK from the injections and you are back with your newsletter soon. Surely do miss you in the mornings. Another question---trying to help a fellow with a computer set-up and we are missing the Automatic suggestions under search box while typing. I have this on mine and he on his old one, but the "newer" machine won't do this. This is the same even in his "Frontier Yahoo" email. Is there a setting somewhere that I haven't found yet that will do this? I am hoping that you know what I am talking about. I was searching for "Kelly Blue Book" the other day and as I typed Kel I got lots of suggestions. Really would like this feature. Thanks again for all. Jim Dear Jim Most likely just a routine Yahoo malfunction. Yahoo and yahoos do weird stuff. If one axes that thilly Yahoo tool bar, and uses FireFox and selects Google as the default search engine, then auto-complete and Search Suggestions work automatically, by default. If it is NOT set, right-click on the search window on the right top, and put a checkmark onto "Show Suggestions" The Search Window might be elsewhere, since you CAN drag it around. It is usually a small window like you see in the picture, and it has the icon of one of the many search engines in the spot, where you see the Google symbol in mine. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Covering Heat Registers To stop cold air leaks from coming in your unused heat register vents just cut up one of those large magnetic calendars for your fridge. I got 3 covers from a Dollar Tree calendar. You can paint them if you choose. By Melanie That is not a good idea at all. If a heat register is not blowing hot air, when the furnace is on, then most likely a pipe has come loose and is now blowing hot air into the basement. Covering that register just helps you to ignore the cause. When you get your furnace and ductwork cleaned, the pro will reconnect the fallen duct, and you will get hot air from that register again. That is routine for them. There is also another consideration. If you have cold basement air coming in from that register, it means you have a vacuum in the house due to warm air escaping somewhere. Use a candle flame to check window and door frames, light fixtures, fireplaces, etc. and reduce the escape of "paid for", heated air. You don't have to eliminate it completely, just reduce it to a trickle. Blocking the register will just shift the cold replacement of the escaped, "paid for", heat to another location. Remember, you can NOT eliminate a vacuum by blocking an intake. You have to block the outgoing escape locations, that create the vacuum. Another thing to remember, if you want to use warm attic air as make-up air to replace the escaped heated air, it will NOT go down into the basement wilingly. Warm air wants to go UP. You need a small duct-fan to force it down there. They are cheap and very quiet. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week". He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh... Pacific."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $10,000. The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, "This situation is right here in the fire schedule rating table. The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?"

» Poor Puppies




Today, Oct 7, in
1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates 
 to New York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates 
 adopted the "Declaration of Rights and Grievances."
1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle 
 of Saratoga began.
1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park 
 automobile factory was run on a continuously moving 
 assembly line when the chassis was added to the process.
1949 The German Democratic Republic (EastGermany) was formed
1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel 
 and entered North Korea. China in November proved their 
 threat to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand 
 troops over the border into North Korea.
1951 The Western Hills Hotel in Fort Worth, TX, became the 
 first hotel to feature all foam-rubber mattresses and 
 pillows.
1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban 
 treaty with Britain and the Soviet Union.
1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of 
 Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next 
 president of Egypt.
1985 The United States announced that it would no longer 
 automatically comply with World Court decisions.
1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism 
 in favor of democratic socialism.
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, 
 and naval firepower to Somalia.
1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier 
 to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving 
 toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert.
1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that 
 alleged Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by 
 preventing banks from offering other cards.
1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up 
 to $4.83 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen 
 diet drug caused dangerous problems with heart valves.
2001 The U.S. and Great Britain began airstrikes in 
 Afghanistan in response to that state's support of 
 terrorism and Osama bin Laden. The act was the first 
 military action taken in response to the terrorist 
 attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001.
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected 
 governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 
2013  smiled


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Hot Laptop 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, October3

Today I am due for more injections into
my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday, Saturday 
and Sunday.

535 members of the US Congress, both Senators and 
Representatives, Democrats, Republicans and ‘Independents’   
alike can vocalize political rhetoric, while they draw 
their full pay, allowances and benefits, and are exempted 
from the same “ObamaCare” law they passed. 

Just how bad is "Obamacare", that anybody in the White House,
including Michelle's 500 paid fans, ahem "staffers", anybody
in the Senate and the House and THEIR staffers, and all the 
Millions of illegal immigrants have to be exempted and shielded
from it?

Shouldn't the military and the vets be excempted and shielded 
too?

Blocking the WWII Memorial and the Vietnam War Memorial as if
they were the property of the Democratic Party is NOT a smart
move. Remember, at least 100,000 of the bikers from the 9/11
run to DC were vets. They can be ignited again!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get. --- Frederick Douglass (1817 - 1895)
Thanks to Annette for this excellent re-write of an old classic: Woman Shot in her own Driveway Linda Burnett, 26, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered. Linda is a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence. The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.
Best Data Recovery Software Find lost data on Hard Drives PC & Laptops Removable Drives Flash Drives Cameras Mobile Phones Memory Cards Easy to use and effective! Get Wise Recovery now!

>From Elizabeth I overheard my father telling a family friend about my newly- assigned mission in the U.S. Coast Guard. I work on a cutter that escorts cruise ships and international vessels under the bridges in California's Bay Area. But what my father told his friend was, "She's involved in some sort of escort service."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Matthew Freethy-Swimm and Melissa Jones in Athens, Georgia Jailed for raping 10 year old autistic boy Reported by The Weekly Vice Georgia couple Matthew Freethy-Swimm and Melissa Jones have been jailed after they allegedly raped a 10-year-old autistic boy at knife-point. According to police, a 10-year-old autistic boy was raped at knife-point after the boy's mother asked the couple to watch her son while she took her younger child to the emergency room following an accident. The victim's mother is reportedly the couple's landlord and both of her sons (ages 10 and 9) are autistic. Investigators say Freethy-Swimm and Jones wasted no time in sexually assaulting the boy after his mother pulled out of the driveway. The victim told detectives that Freethy-Swimm held a knife to his throat while Jones sexually assaulted him. The victim also stated that after the assault, Jones bragged about "taking the virginity of a minor," according to the arrest affidavit. After the incident, the boy reportedly began having behavioral issues that persisted for several weeks. Three weeks after the incident the boy ran out of his house and confronted Freethy-Swimm and Jones over the alleged abuse and "being forced to have sex with Jones." Bi-standers reportedly had to pull the alleged victim away. That's when the boy gave a detailed description of what happened to him to his mother, a therapist and police. Later, the boy was given a forensic examination at The Cottage Sexual Assault Center, where he was interviewed by an expert who specializes in communicating with autistic children. Following the interview, a warrant was obtained for Freethy-Swimm and Jones' arrest. They were booked into jail and charged with felony statutory rape and child molestation. Freethy-Swimm was additionally charged with aggravated assault. He is also wanted in Massachusetts on a charge of assault with a deadly weapon. Jones was additionally charged with sexual battery. Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Hot laptop Dear Webby. My laptop gets hot and after an hour shuts down. What can I do to fix that? Fran Dear Fran Get a small Philips (star) screwdriver, a vacuum cleaner, some Q-tips and a cleaning spray like Simple Green or Windex. Turn the laptop off and turn it upside down. Open the clamshell after removing the 4 = 6 screws that hold it. Don't worry, nothing is going to go sproing and jump out. Vacuum the inside and look for fans and heat sinks. Heat Sinks are finned radiators, usually bare aluminum, and sometimes hiding under a fan shroud. The fan shrouds usually pop off with a bit of help from a screwdriver. Clean them and the fan blades with the Q-tips and cleaning spray. Make sure you don't miss a fan blade, or it will be noisy. When done, vacuum again to get the dirt, that your work knocked loose. Close the clam shell and put the screws back in. That's all there is to it. If you are scared of doing that yourself, the kid next door would probably gladly do it for a pumpkin pie or $5. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Alcohol in a Spray Bottle To Clean Eyeglasses We were told when we purchased our eyeglasses to just use alcohol in a small spray bottle. We both have special non-glare finishes. The lenses had been damaged on past glasses by other cleaning methods, but this one works beautifully! By Elgie Simple Green, diluted about 1 part SG to 6 - 8 parts water, misted onto the glasses with a trigger sprayer or a compact pump sprayer like the one you get with the glasses, then rinsed under hot water, and dried with micro-fiber cloth or clean former t-shirt rag, works just fine. The same works fine for monitors too. And it is not toxic or alcoholic, and a lot cheaper than alcohol. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Thanks to Vern for this story: Preparing for a tag sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good. Shortly after the tag sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. "This is a great deal," he said excitedly." It still has the plastic on it." Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"What's the usual tip?" a man growled when the college boy who delivered his pizza. "Well," the student replied, "this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I'd be doing great." "That so?" grunted the man. "In that case, here's five dollars." "Thanks," the student said, "I'll put it in my college fund." "By the way, what are you studying?" "Applied psychology."

» Silk Flowers and Feathers




Today, Oct 3, in
1863 U.S. President Lincoln declared that the last Thursday 
 of November would be recognized as Thanksgiving Day.
1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by Thurman.
1901 The Victor Talking Machine Company was incorporated. 
 After a merger with Radio Corporation of America the company 
 became RCA-Victor.
1906 W.T. Grant opened a 25-cent department store.
1929 The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially 
 changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia.
1932 Iraq was admitted into the League of Nations leading 
 Britain to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain 
 had ruled Iraq since taking it from Turkey during World War I.
1935 Italian forces invaded Abyssinia (now Ethiopia).
1941 Adolf Hitler stated in a speech that Russia was "broken" 
 and they "would never rise again." With the help of the USA 
 they did.
1942 The Office of Economic Stabilization was established by 
 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. He also authorized 
 controls on rents, wages, salaries and farm prices.
1944 During World War II, U.S. troops broke through the 
 Siegfried Line.
1951 CBS-TV aired the first coast-to-coast telecast of a 
 prizefight. Dave Sands defeated Carl Olson at Soldier 
 Field in Chicago.
1952 Britain became the third nuclear power in the world 
 when they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb. 
 The U.S. and Russia were the only other nuclear powers.
1981 Irish Nationalist in Maze Prison in Belfast, Northern 
 Ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had 
 lasted 7 months and ten people had died.
1989 East Germany suspended unrestricted travel to 
 Czechoslovakia in an effort to slow the flow of refugees 
 to the West.
1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after 
 the borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. 
 The unification of Germany ended 45 years of division.
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein made a visit to Kuwait 
 since his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation.
1994 The headquarters of the Haitian pro-army militia was 
 raided by U.S. soldiers.
2003 Ray Horn, of the duo "Siegfried & Roy," was attacked 
by a tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack 
 after being dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old 
 male named Montecore, was debuting in his first show.
2006 North Korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear 
 test as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs that 
 it viewed as a deterrent against a U.S. attack. 
2013  smiled


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Comcast cable problem 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, October2

WWII War Memorial Gestapo is no match for WWII veterans!

Just to be ornery, the WWII War Memorial was closed by the
Government and heavily armed park Gestapo was trying to keep
visitors out.  

The four bus loads of veterans — visiting from Mississippi 
as part of a once-in-a-lifetime Honor Flight tour — ignored 
National Park Gestapo instructions not to enter the site as 
lawmakers and tourists cheered them on.

“We didn’t come this far not to get in,” one veteran 
proclaimed.

The veterans figured the WWII War Memorial belonged to them, 
not to the potbellied goons with guns and batons and tasers.
And just like they won WWII, they won the fight for the 
memorial.

As Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, distracted the Park Police, other 
lawmakers and their staff helped topple the metal fences. A 
bagpiper on hand for the event led the veterans past the 
crowd and into the heart of the memorial, attracting a lot
of applause from the large crowd.

“This just means so much to me,” said Alex “Lou” Pitalo, an 
Army vet who served in the Pacific during WWII. “I waited 
70 years to get a welcome like this. And to get to see this 
and to have all those people clapping … I’m just so happy. 
This was amazing.”


To be ornery and spiteful the Government has closed other 
memorial sites too, as if they were property of the 
Democrats.

I have a hunch, we will hear more about this!

Just in:
House Republicans were not able to push through 3 measures 
that would have reopened the national parks, and funded 
veterans programs while the federal government is shut down.
The Democrats in the Senate, just to be an ornery and spiteful
nuisance, vetoed that. Obama also announced, that he would
veto it, if it passed.

We know he doesn't like the military, and apparently he does
not like veterans either.


On Thursday, october 3, I am due for more injections into
my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday, Saturday 
and Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995),
Thanks to Allen for this story: Before our daughter went off to college, our family took a vacation in Colorado. So we flew to Denver and rented a car. We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, I noticed it swaying in the wind. Then a car went past us, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath my feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," I finally said. "What are you worried about?" our daughter replied. "It's a rental."
Best Data Recovery Software Find lost data on Hard Drives PC & Laptops Removable Drives Flash Drives Cameras Mobile Phones Memory Cards Easy to use and effective! Get Wise Recovery now!

A guy came home to his wife and said to her: "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 am start, 2 pm finish, no over- time, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," his wife said. "Yeah, I thought so too," he agreed. "You start Monday."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jayne Rand, 48, of Swindon, England Jailed for shoplifting 905 handbags Reported by Sun Metro Tech Support Pits From: Judy Re: Comcast Hi Webby. I hope you can help me with internet connection problem. I'm connect to cabel,but there are time when I have low power and I cannot connect to the internet. It will be off for several hour and sometime longer.This has happen many times. They have changed the cabel modem box and a connection outside. When The repair man test my computer every thing is o.k.. Comcast has decided the problem is with the outside cabel. Hope you can help or tell me where I can go for help. Judy Dear Judy There is nothing you can do on your end about poor cable quality somewhere between your house and the station. Comcast probably does not even own the cable, but just piggybacks on a local cable company's cable. Theoretically they could raise a fuss with the local cable company, but usually they can't be bothered. Switching to a different provider piggybacking on the same cable probably would not make any difference. Switching to DSL, if it is available in your area, would generally give you more reliability, but a bit less speed. In the meantime, all you can do is yell at Comcast and hope they will get the local cable company to fix the problem. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Careful With Goo Gone on Leather I bought a pair of Lilly Pulitzer sandals that had sticker residue on the leather insoles. I used Goo Gone and it removed the gold lettering also and also left a blotched area. I have used Goo Gone in the past with great success, but I would not recommend using it on leather. By eggoodwin Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
One day our little niece Rita, went up to her mother and asked, "Mom, where did I come from?" My sister in law stammered a bit, but finally got her composure. She thought it was time her daughter knew the facts of life. So, she told Little Rita how the expression of love resulted in the beginning of life, how life developed in the womb and finally how a child was born. As my sister in law gave the whole story, Rita's eyes got wider and wider. When She was finished, Little Rita said "Wow, that's really neat. That's sure better than what Uncle Rusty told me. He said that he came from Toronto."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Here is a good old classic: This Irish guy shows up in a pub one day and orders three pints of Guinness. He takes sips from each glass until they are empty and calls the bartender for three more. The bartender says, "Hey, pal, I don't mind bringing one at a time, then they'll be fresh and cold." "Nah... ahm preferrin' that ya bring 'em three at a time. You see, me and me two brothers would meet at a pub and drink and have good times. Now one is in Australia, the other in Canada and I'm here. We agreed before we split up that we'd drink this way to each other's honor." "Well," says the bartender, "that's a damn good sentimental thing to do. I'll bring the pints as you ask." Well, time goes on and the Irishman's peculiar habit is known and accepted by all the pub regulars. One day, the Irishman comes in and orders only two pints. A hush falls over the pub. Naturally, everyone figures something happened to one of the brothers. A bunch of the regulars corner the bartender and finally persuade him to find out what happened. With a heavy heart, the bartender brings the two pints and says, "Here's your pints... and let me offer my sincerest condolences. What happened?" The Irishman looks extremely puzzled for a moment. When the light comes on in his head, he starts laughing. "No, no! 'Tis nothing like that. You see, I've gotten married and promised to give up drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers, though."

» Our Story in 2 minutes




Today, Oct 2, in
1492 King Henry VII of England invaded France.
1780 British army major John Andre was hanged as a spy. 
 He was carrying information about the actions of 
 Benedict Arnold.
1835 The first battle of the Texas Revolution took place 
 near the Guadalupe River when American settlers defeated 
 a Mexican cavalry unit.
1836 Charles Darwin returned to England after 5 years 
 of acquiring knowledge around the world about fauna, flora, 
 wildlife and geology. He used the information to develop 
 his "theory of evolution" which he unveiled in his 1859 
 book entitled The Origin of Species by Means of Natural 
 Selection.
1870 Rome was made the capital of Italy.
1925 Scottish inventor John Logie Baird completed the first 
 transmission of moving images.
1937 Warner Bros. released "Love Is on the Air." Ronald 
 Reagan made his acting debut in the motion picture. He 
 was 26 years old.
1941 Operation Typhoon was launched by Nazi Germany. The 
 plan was an all-out offensive against Moscow.
1944 The Nazis crushed the Warsaw Uprising.
1958 Guinea, the French colony in West Africa, proclaimed 
 its independence.
1962 U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their 
 ships to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a 
 socialist country were prohibited from docking in the 
 United States during that voyage, and the transport of 
 U.S. goods was banned on ships owned by companies that 
 traded with Cuba.
Ironically, today the USA is almost as socialist as Cuba.
1989 In Leipzig, East Germany a protest took place demanding 
 the legalization of opposition groups and the adoption of 
 democratic reforms.
1990 The Allies ceded their rights to areas they occupied 
 in Germany, and started paying rent for their bases.
1993 Opponents of Russian President Boris Yeltsin fought 
 police and set up burning barricades.
1998 Hawaii sued petroleum companies, claiming state 
 drivers were overcharged by about $73 million a year 
 in price-fixing.
1998 About 10,000 Turkish soldiers crossed into northern 
 Iraq and attacked Kurdish rebels.
2001 NATO, for the first time, invoked a treaty clause that 
 stated that an attack on one member is an attack on all 
 members. The act was in response to the September 11, 2001 
 terrorist attacks in the United States.
2013  smiled


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Separate keyboard for laptop 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, October1

On Thursday, october 3 I am due for more injections into
my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday, Saturday 
and Sunday. 

After FaceBook was ordered to shut down the truckers site 
for mentioning "God bless America", because it apparently
irked a certain Kenyan hypnotist, a slew of new sites came 
up, all competing with each other like a bunch of kids in a 
sandbox.

The site, that seems to have risen above the fray is
https://www.facebook.com/ridefortheconstitution

Worst of all is the site put up by the owners of the one,
that was shut down. They have some wanna-be radio talk show 
yapper chasing away visitors. You can shut up the yapper
at the left top corner, but best to mute the sound before 
going there. There is some useful information on that site,
but most is unfortunately in little videos, that are not
easy to understand.
That site is http://ridefortheconstitution.org
And now they want to organize a drive to the FaceBook offices!

Even though all the other sites each contribute a little bit,
they just fragment the movement.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get to the office." --- Robert Frost A mission statement is defined as "a long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly. Most companies have one. --- Socratex
>From Maria I was waiting tables at a country club when an elegantly dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin. Having plenty of experience with getting out food stains, I asked, "Can I bring you some club soda?" "Young lady," she barked, "I'll be the judge of when I've had enough to drink. Bring me another martini!"
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A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours." The banker said, "Yes, he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."
Thanks to Cookie for sending this: Click on the picture for the large version I know nothing about this painting or the artist but I sure do like it a LOT!! Cookie
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cynthia Lynn Herr, 35, Spring Hill, Floriduh Jailed After Bragging About Having Sex With Student Four Times In Same Day Reported by The Weekly Vice Cynthia Lynn Herr, a 35-year-old teacher at John D. Floyd Grade School of Environmental Science, was jailed Monday after she allegedly had a day-long sex marathon with a student. According to the Citrus County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched after Herr allegedly told another teacher that she was having sex with a 16-year-old student. Investigators say Herr picked up a 16-year-old student, drove him to a motel and proceeded to have sex with him repeatedly throughout the day. The victim confirmed that he and Herr had been involved in a consensual sexual relationship, according to the Sheriff's Office. When detectives interviewed Herr, she admitted to picking up the teen and then driving him to a motel where the two had sex four times throughout the day. Herr was booked into jail and charged with four counts of unlawful sexual activity with certain minors. Her bail was set at $20,000. Tech Support Pits From: Elaine Re: Separate keyboard Dear Webby, How difficult is it to attach and install a real keyboard to a laptop? This silly thing just makes my hands and wrists cramp up in less than half an hour. Help! Elaine Dear Elaine That is exactly why I have been using an external keyboard for the last twenty or so years. The most difficult part about that is taking it out of the box. Just plug it into any free USB port, Windows will recognize it and you can start typing. No need to shut down or reboot. Just plug it in. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fixing a Broken Laundry Basket When a laundry basket breaks, don't toss it. Drill holes in the rim on either side of the break and sew it together again! By Elaine O. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A grandson, who arrived late, came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the grandson. "They won't let me fart."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead . Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead . Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive. So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration? Maxine, who was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink booze, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

» Gliders

Today, September 30, in
1569 The Duke of Norfolk was imprisoned by Britain's 
 Queen Elizabeth for trying to marry Mary the Queen of Scots.
1800 Spain ceded the territory of Louisiana back to France. 
 Later the property would be purchased by the U.S. effectively 
 doubling its size.
1880 Thomas Edison began the commercial production of 
 electric lamps at Edison Lamp Works in Menlo Park.
1908 The Model T automobile was introduced by Henry Ford. 
 The purchase price of the car was $850.
1918 Damascus was captured from the Turks during WWI by a 
 force made up of British and Arab forces.
1936 General Francisco Franco was proclaimed the head of 
 the Spanish state.
1938 German forces waltzed into Czechoslovakia and seized 
 control of the Sudetenland.
1940 The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened as the first toll 
 superhighway in the United States.
1943 Naples was captured by the Allied forces during WWII.
1946 The International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg 
 sentenced 12 Nazi officials to death. Seven others were 
 sentenced to prison terms and 3 were acquitted.
1949 Mao Tse-tung raised the first flag of the People's 
 Republic of China when the communist forces had defeated 
 the Nationalists. The Nationalist forces fled to Taiwan.
1964 The Free Speech Movement was started at the University 
 of California at Berkeley.
1972 The Chinese government approved friendly relations 
 with the United States.
1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone 
 over to Panama.
1984 U.S. Labor Secretary Raymond Donovan announced that 
 he was taking a leave of absence following his indictment 
 on charges of larceny and fraud. He was later acquitted.
1985 The PLO's headquarters in Tunisia was raided by 
 Israeli jet fighters.
1988 Mikhail Gorbachev assumed the Soviet presidency.
1989 7,000 East Germans were welcomed into West Germany 
 after they were allowed to leave by the communist government.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush addressed the U.N. 
 General Assembly and once again condemned Iraq's takeover 
 of Kuwait.
1990 In Croatia, minority Serbs proclaimed autonomy.
1991 U.S. President Bush condemned the military coup in 
 Haiti that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide 
 from power. U.S. economic and military aid was suspended.
1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent.
1992 The Strategic Arm Reduction Treaty was approved by 
 the U.S. Senate.
1994 The U.S. and Japan avoided a trade war by reaching 
 a series of trade agreements.
1995 Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman and nine other defendants 
 were convicted in New York of conspiring to attack the 
 U.S. through bombings, kidnappings and assassinations.
1998 The U.S. government posted a $2.2 million reward 
 for the capture of Augustin Vasquez Mendoza. He is 
 accused of killing an undercover U.S. agent during 
 a drug purchase in 1994.
2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted 
 unanimously to ban Internet filters designed to keep 
 pornography away from children at city libraries. 
 The board left the decision up to the Library Commission 
 to decide whether to install filtering software in 
 children's areas. A federal law in the U.S. mandated 
 the use of the filters. 
2013  smiled


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Invisible counters 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, September 30

Last night's storm sure ripped a lot of branches off the
trees. It seems, the leaves still believe in Gullible Warming
and are reluctant to fall. Well, half of them have fallen,
but most of the rest came down still attached to branches.

Today the wind slowed down a bit, but not at altitude. 
When I was out for my walk I heard and eventually saw a 
plane towing a glider. Going against the wind, they looked 
like they were standing still and even going backwards, but 
steadily motoring higher. When they turned and were briefly 
sideways to the wind, they moved sideways at what looked like
about 150 and had to disconnect. The glider took off like fired
from a sling shot, and the tow plane headed straight for the
little rural airport. Probably to change underwear.

The glider pilot disappeared southward to the area, where 
they keep breaking world records for high altitude.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)
>From Sue I'm a LIFE-AND-CAREER coach, and one morning a prospective client called for an appointment. I asked him what he wanted to get out of our sessions. "Clarity," he said very firmly. "And on what issues are you looking for clarity?" I probed. "Well," he said in a less confident tone, "I don't know."
Best Data Recovery Software Find lost data on Hard Drives PC & Laptops Removable Drives Flash Drives Cameras Mobile Phones Memory Cards Easy to use and effective! Get Wise Recovery now!

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification." He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary." "How come?" asked the woman. "Crooks don't buy peat moss," answered the clerk.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Zara Crank, 22, Redding, CA Jailed After Accusing Boyfriend Of Molesting Son, Later Determined To Be Diaper Rash Due To Her Own Neglect Reported by The Weekly Vice Zara Crank, a 22-year-old California woman, has been jailed after she allegedly accused her boyfriend of sexually assaulting her son over a diaper rash that was caused by her own neglect. According to police, officers were dispatched to Shasta regional Medical Center just before 5 a.m. Sunday after Crank called 911 and reported that her 4-year-old son had been molested by her boyfriend. While Crank was making her case, officers noticed a container of methamphetamine coming out of her shirt. Crank also appeared to be high on meth as she spoke to officers. When officers asked about the substance inside the container, Crank admitted that it was meth and stated that she had used it the night before. She went on to say that she had been up for four days straight and hadn't been taking care of her son. When officers turned their attention to the alleged molestation, Crank pointed out redness around the child's genital area that was later determined to be a diaper rash due to Cranks lack of care for her son, according to Cpl. Jon Poletski. Officers were ultimately unable to determine if anyone was watching the child during the 4 days Crank was high on meth. She was booked into jail and charged with suspicion of meth possession (pending lab results) and child endangerment. Tech Support Pits From: Leslie Re: Invisible counter Dear Webby, I want a counter on my page, but because it is still new, the count is embarassingly low. Is there a way to hide it? Leslie Dear Leslie Yes, sure there is. Just use a before it, and a after it. It will blend into your white page and not be visible, UNLESS you wipe the mouse over that exact spot. It is usually easy enough to select a spot where visitors are not likely to wipe their mouse over it. For pages that have a different color background, use that color as the font color of the counter. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Skunk Odor Recipe Works for Pet Stains A recipe for cutting through skunk odor is great for cutting through pet stains as well. It's a mixture of peroxide, baking soda, and dish detergent. I mix a small bottle of peroxide, half a cup of baking soda, and a couple squirts of Dawn. I saw a guy on PBS show how it chemically breaks down the skunk odor by breaking apart the molecules, so I decided to try it on cat and dog stains and it worked! I use it whenever our pets have decided to forget everything they have been taught. :) Source: PBS By dorinmoz from Sugar Land, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A troop of Brownie Scouts is touring a cathedral, and the children seem especially fascinated by the votive candles in front of a side altar. The leader asks if they'd each like to light one. She explains that it is customary to say a prayer asking for something or giving thanks. "Do you have any questions?" she asks. "No," says one little girl. "But if there's a pony outside, it's mine."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple of boys are fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the local game warden jumps out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys throws down his rod and starts running through the woods. The game warden is hot on his heels. After about a half mile, the young man stops to catch his breath, so the game warden finally catches up to him. "All right," the official gasps. "Let's see yer fishin' license, boy!" The boy pulls out his wallet and gives the game warden a valid fishing license. "Well, son," the warden pants, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!" "Yes, sir," replies the young guy, "but that other guy who was back there, whom I don't know, he might not have had a license."

» Gypsy Vanner

Today, September 30, in
1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV.
1777 The Congress of the United States moved to York, PA, 
 due to advancing British forces.
1787 The Columbia left Boston and began the trip that would 
 make it the first American vessel to sail around the world.
1846 Dr. William Morton performed a painless tooth extraction 
 after administering ether to a patient.
1868 Spain's Queen Isabella was deposed and fled to France.
1882 In Appleton, WI, the world's first hydroelectric power 
 plant began operating.
1935 "Porgy and Bess" premiered in Boston.
1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease 
 Adolf Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's 
 (German speaking) Sudetenland to be annexed by the Nazis.
1946 An international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, 
 found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes.
1949 The Berlin Airlift came to an end. The airlift had taken 
 2.3 million tons of food into the western sector despite the 
 Soviet blockade.
1954 The U.S. Navy commissioned the Nautilus submarine at 
 Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered vessel. The 
 submarine had been launched on January 21, 1954.
1963 The Soviet Union publicly declared itself on the side of 
 India in their dispute with Pakistan over Kashmir.
1966 Albert Speer and Baldur von Schirach were released at 
 midnight from Spandau prison after completing their 20-year 
 sentences. Speer was the Nazi minister of armaments and von 
 Schirach was the founder of Hitler Youth.
1971 The Soviet Union and the United States signed pacts that 
 were aimed at avoiding an accidental nuclear war.
1971 A committee of nine people was organized to investigate 
 the prison riot at Attica, NY. 10 hostages and 32 prisoners 
 were killed when National Guardsmen stormed the prison on 
 September 13, 1971.
1976 California enacted the Natural Death Act of California. 
 The law was the first example of right-to-die legislation 
 in the U.S.
1980 Israel issued its new currency, the shekel, to replace 
 the pound.
1983 The first AH-64 Apache attack helicopter was rolled out 
 by McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Company.
1982 "Cheers" began an 11-year run on NBC-TV.

1984 Mike Witt became only the 11th pitcher to throw a perfect game in major league baseball.

1984 "Doonesbury" by Garry Trudeau returned. The comic strip had not been printed in nearly 20 months.

1986 The U.S. released accused Soviet spy Gennadiy Zakharov, 
 one day after Nicholas Daniloff had been released by the Soviets.
1987 Mikhail S. Gorbachev retired President Andrei A. Gromyko 
 from the Politburo and fired other old-guard leaders in a 
 shake-up at the Kremlin.
1989 Thousands of East Germans began emigrating under an accord 
 between the NATO nations and the Soviet Union.
1989 Non-Communist Cambodian guerrillas claimed that they had 
 captured 3 towns and 10 other positions from the residing 
 government forces.
1990 The Soviet Union and South Korea opened diplomatic 
 relations.
1991 Haiti's first freely elected president, Jean-Bertrand 
 Aristide, was overthrown by Brigadier General Raoul Cedras. 
 Aristide was later returned to power.
1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed 
 at turning millions of Russians into capitalists.
1993 U.S. chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin 
 Powell retired.
1994 The space shuttle Endeavor took off on an 11-day mission. 
 Part of the mission was to use a radar instrument to map remote 
 areas of the Earth.
1997 France's Roman Catholic Church apologized for its 
 silence during the persecution and deportation of Jews by 
 the pro-Nazi Vichy regime.
1999 In Tokaimura, Japan, radiation escaped a nuclear facility 
 after workers accidentally set off an uncontrolled nuclear 
 chain reaction. 
2013  smiled


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Why is FaceBook blocking SnipUrl ? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, September 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful --- Frederick Locker-Lampson Unfortunately sometimes one can't do what one thinks is right without making someone else unhappy. --- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965),
A man answered his doorbell and greeted a friend who walked in followed by a very large dog. The dog immediately jumped up on the sofa with his muddy feet and proceeded to knock over a lamp and chew on the cushions. The outraged householder began to scold his friend, "Don't you think you should train your dog a little better?" "My dog?" exclaimed the friend, "I thought it was your dog!"
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Bob has been playing golf for years, and he has the finest equipment, but his technique has never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. "Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked. Bob replied: "Where do you buy old balls?"
Click on the picture for the large version Econo Bridge
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gabrell Marie Melton, 38, and Eugene Brimzy III, 21 Booze Dumpers Reported by Walter: Connecticut highway cleanup crews had nothing to celebrate Wednesday when a tractor trailer crashed, spilling a mountain of pricey champagne. Around 2:15pm, the truck tipped over after smashing into a Department of Transportation vehicle and dumping hundreds of cases of Veuve Clicquot across I-395. The bright yellow cases, valued at $500 each, held up travelers in Griswold well into the evening as crews scrambled to clean up the bubbly mess. Rear-Ending a DOT truck with flashing lights, in a construction zone, and destroying a semi and the load, could be considered a CLM (Carreer Limiting Move) Meanwhile in Canada, reported by Garry: Beer truck spills load on Manitoba highway There was trouble brewing on a Manitoba highway on Wednesday when a beer truck spilled its load. It happened just after 9 a.m. on Highway 10 near Flin Flon. The driver of the semi, who was the sole occupant of the vehicle, was taken to hospital but released shortly afterwards. Highway 10 was closed while crews cleaned up the sudsy mess but has now open again. Tech Support Pits From: Carolyn Re: SnipURL on FB Dear Webby Why can't I use SnipURL to shorten some long URLs on FaceBook? Some idiots at some papers put the entire first paragraph of a story into the URL, hoping that Google will stop ignoring them, but FaceBook has a problem with that, and when I use SnipURL to shorten the URL, then FaceBook claims that is a bad site. What is going on? Carolyn Dear Carolyn Just a routine FB Admin malfunction. Once upon a time, long, long ago, somebody apparently used SnipURL to disguise a porno site or somthing like that, and when somebody at FB found out about that, they blocked ALL Urls shortened by SnipURL henceforth and foreverafter. That's all. No big mystery or technical issue. Just email me the long URL, and the short nickname you want, and I'll make you a short one. For example, I can shorten: "http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2425496/Incredible-moment-18-wheeler-dumps-hundreds-cases-CHAMPAGNE-worth-500-highway-halts-traffic-hours.html" to http://jos.org/dumper FaceBook won't object to that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Corn Cob Holders on Dry Sponge I read about a neat way to keep up with corn on the cob holders that I thought I'd pass along the tip. After they are washed, stick them into a clean dry sponge until the next use. By notwrong Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A cop walking his usual beat sees an old man pulling a box on a leash, down a busy street. "Poor man," the cop thinks to himself. "I'd better go humor him." "That' a nice dog you got there," says the cop to the old man. "It isn't a dog, it's a box," replies the old man. "Oh, I'm sorry," says the policeman, "I thought you were a bit touched." The old man walks past the cop, then turns to his box, and says, "We sure fooled him that time, didn't we, Rover?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles." "What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group. "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like: "Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!'"

» Gypsy Vanner

Today, September 29, in
1789 A regular army was established by the U.S. War Department 
 with several hundred men.
1829 The first public appearance by London's re-organized 
 police force was met with jeers from political opponents. 
 The force became known as Scotland Yard.
1943 U.S. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower and Italian Marchal 
 Pietro Badoglio signed an armistice aboard the British 
 ship Nelson.
1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi 
 National guard in response to city officials defying federal 
 court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith 
 at the University of Mississippi.
1967 The International Monetary Fund reformed monetary systems 
 around the world.
1977 Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a 
 heavyweight title boxing match. About 70 million people 
 watched Muhammad Ali defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV.
1982 In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules 
 of Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 
 264,000 bottles were recalled.
1983 The War Powers Act was used for the first time by the 
 U.S. Congress when they authorized President Reagan to 
 keep U.S. Marines in Lebanon for 18 more months.
1984 Irish officials announced that they had intercepted 
 the Marita Anne carrying seven tons of U.S.-purchased 
 weapons. The weapons were intended for the Irish 
 Republican Army.
1984 Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most 
 beautiful woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at 
 the time in the Betty Ford Clinic overcoming a weight 
 problem.
1990 "Millie's Book" by First Lady Barbara Bush was the 
 best-selling non-fiction book in the U.S.
1992 Brazilian lawmakers overwhelmingly voted to impeach 
 President Fernando Collor de Mello.
1993 Bosnia's parliament voted overwhelmingly to reject an
 international peace plan unless Bosnian Serbs returned 
 land that had been taken by force.
1998 Hasbro announced plans to introduce an action figure 
 of retired U.S. General Colin Powell.
2010 In China, Canton Tower became operational.
2013  smiled


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Function of F keys 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, September 27.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth… Tame the dragon and the gift is yours. --- Noela Evans Choose your pleasures for yourself, and do not let them be imposed upon you. --- Lord Chesterfield (1694 - 1773)
A young man finally got a job at the Post Office. He was full of energy and eager to please. The supervisor agreed to work with the new employee, even though he had been warned that he was still immature and knew nothing of the job. The first job the supervisor gives the young man is in sorting, and much to everyone's surprise, the new employee separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. The supervisor was very pleased and asked the young man to come into his office at the end of the day. He said, "I just want you to know that we are all very proud of you. You're one of the fastest workers we have ever had." The humble young man said, "Thank you, sir. And tomorrow, I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do better?" The young man smiled proudly and said, "Tomorrow, I am going to read the addresses."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, children, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the class said together. Then he asked, "Then why is it that while I am standing upright, in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty!"
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Little Johnny loved surfing the Web, and kept track of his passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. His mother noticed his Disney password was, "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. And little Johnny said, "Because, they said it has to have at least four characters."
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Kilimancharo
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jordan Caraway,25, DeLand, Floriduh Left Toddler In Truck While He Drank At Strip Club Reported by Huff Post If three's a trend, then Floridians really really like to leave their children alone while they party at the strip club. Meet 25-year-old Jordan Caraway, our most recent pole addict. The DeLand man is accused of leaving a 3-year-old child alone in his pickup truck at 1 a.m. Sunday, while he boozed inside Dixie's Gentlemen's Club. Witnesses say he was inside for 30 minutes before an employee spotted the child and called sheriff's deputies. Caraway claimed he left another guy to watch the child, but the babysitter also apparently got wooed by Dixie's dancers, according to the Orlando Sentinel. He was reportedly inside the strip club, too. Caraway was arrested and taken to Volusia County Branch Jail, but he's just a drop in the alleged bad dad bucket: There's Kenneth Rowe, 26, who was reportedly wasted when he walked into a Daytona Beach liquor store and asked the clerk to watch his baby boy. Then he allegedly went next door to the Shark Lounge for a lap dance or two. Elliut Gonzalez, a 38-year-old from Orlando, is accused of leaving his sleeping 7-year-old daughter inside a car while he visited the Diamond Club, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Former NFLer Monty Ray Grow allegedly left his 3-year old daughter in the car, unattended, while he partied at Diamond Dolls in Clearwater. He was arrested on a child abuse charge. The child was uninjured. Strippers do it too! Brittany Roman, 21, allegedly left her little boy to walk around their hotel lobby while she danced at the Diamond Club in Orlando. Edith Aguilar-Cardona and Israel Rangel-Ortiz, both 25, left their kid in the car for about an hour while they opened Pandora's Box -- the strip joint -- in Palmetto, WTSP reports. Brandi Roman (no known relation to Brittany Roman) allegedly left two children under the age of 6 in her truck, as well as a can of malt liquor, while she watched strippers in Tampa. Edward Condry Jr., of Fort Myers, is accused of leaving his toddler alone in the car while hanging out at a strip club in Tampa. At about 2 a.m., a manager at the club heard crying coming from Condry's car. It was Condry's 1-year-old. Maybe it's time for late-night daycare centers at strip clubs in Florida? Tech Support Pits From: RonP Re: Functions of F keys Hi Webby still love your Humor Letter and the tech tips. One question, what are the functions of the "F" keys I know only the F8 key what do the rest of them do. Thanks RonP Dear Ron F8 is to get the BIOS menu during start-up andon some machines, to start in Safe mode. Once it is started, F1 is for Help F2 is for Editing F5 is for refresh/download up-to-date info F6 is for the main action of that program. For example, in MailWasher F6 washes the mail, dumps the spam and calls your email program. In your email program, if it is reasonably standard, F5 will refresh/download. All other keys are depending on whatever program you are in. What they do is not consistent at all. Even with the F5 and F6, some programs do other stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting Wood When Removing a Nail Put an old plastic spatula under the head of the hammer when trying to remove a nail. It protects the wood and is easy to find in your toolbox. By ThriftyFun Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend, "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun." Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?" The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of his car. So the trooper decides to pull him over and perform a community service by giving the driver his chicken. So he pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver looks at the trooper and says, "No thanks, I just bought some." "OK, if you say so!"

» Nano Paintings

Today, September 27, in
1779 John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British 
 over the American Revolutionary War peace terms.
1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that 
 hauled a passenger train.
1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the 
 Nationalist Chinese Government.
1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as 
 aggressors in China.
1939 After 19 days of resistance, Warsaw, Poland, 
 surrendered to the Germans after being invaded by the 
 Nazis and the Soviet Union during World War II.
1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military 
 and economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy 
 and Japan.
1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel.
1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was 
 barred by France.
1973 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew said he would not 
 resign after he pled "no contest" to a charge of tax 
 evasion. He did resign on October 10th.
1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and 
 Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by 
 the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of 
 Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen.
1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buyout Sony 
 Corporation for $3.4 billion.
1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls 
 in a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were 
 the first to ever survive the Horshoe Falls.
1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General 
 Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" 
 that Iraq had inflicted upon his country.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all 
 land-based tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range 
 nuclear arms from ships and submarines around the world. 
 Bush then called on the Soviet Union to do the same.
2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced 
 that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent 
 nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that 
 the weapons were to serve as a deterrent against 
 increasing U.S. nuclear threats and to prevent nuclear 
 war in northeast Asia. The U.S. State Department noted 
 that the U.S. has repeatedly said that the U.S. has no 
 plans to attack North Korea. 
2013  smiled


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