Internet Radio 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, November 3

If you are planning to donate to organizations to help
hurricane victims, keep in mind that the Red Cross does
not accept canned goods, clothing, blankets or tents.
Just cash. They have a lot of high-end executives, who
clamor to get paid.

Check out this comparison chart:
Where do your donations go?

Have FUN!
Dear Webby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn." --- Benjamin Franklin "A market is never saturated with a good product, but it is very quickly saturated with a bad one." --- Henry Ford
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees." Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service." RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs." RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?" G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?" G: "What?" RS: "An toes. July Sahn toes?" G: "I don't think so." RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means." RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bodder?" G: "No...just put the bodder on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Excuse me?" RS: "Copy...tea...meel?" G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say." RS: "Tendjewberrymuds." G: "You're very welcome."
A chubby young woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seat in economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in economy. Chubby replies "I'm young and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York." Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in economy. Again she replies "I'm young and beautiful and I'm going to sit here all the way to New York." The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the problem with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a girlfriend like that and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something in her ear. She immediately gets up, says "thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot and rushes back to her seat in the economy section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he said to the woman. He replies "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to New York."
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Yes, I know, YOU never fart, but is there somebody you know, who would benefit from this eBook? Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Joshua Stuart, 24 and Gregory Lampert, 26 in Bartok, Florida Verizon Employee Stole Woman's Naked Photos Reported by The Smoking Gun Bartow cops say Joshua Stuart, 24, who works at a cellphone store took personal nude pics from a customer's phone while transferring her data to a new device. Stuart then shared the pics with a co-worker, Gregory Lampert, 26. The duo then showed the racy photos to a customer who recognized the woman even without any clothes on, and then contacted her. The woman went to the police, who confiscated their cell phones and a computer, and arrested one and put out an arrest warrant for the other. Some judge is going to throw the book at them.
Tech Support Pits From: Regina Re: Internet radio Dear Webby You have occasionally mentioned using Internet radio. I have tried a few of them, but am not impressed. Some of them have as many comercials as the local radio stations, and are quite limited in their music selections. Which one do you use, and how much does it cost? Regina Dear Regina I use Accu Radio from http://accuradio.com They have a huge selection of channels, andyou can "ban" artists. For example, I dion't like screechers for background music while I am working, so I ban those. There are plenty of other artists. Accuradio has visual ads, but they are no problem if you got their screen running in the back, covered up by the spreadsheet or word processor, where you work. You can even browse with other browser windows open, or minimize the one with Accuradio to an icon on the task bar. It has it's own volume control, that does not affect the overall volume control. For example, I have Accuradio set as fairly quiet background music, but have the little pop-up Alarm set for maximum. Accuradio gets along fine with Skype. When a voice or video call comes in, it fades to a barely noticeable whisper, and gives full volume to Skype. There is no cost. Accuradio has always been free. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Brillo Pad Last Longer To prevent a Brillo pad from getting rusty, rinse after use then shake out all of the excess water. Make sure no more water comes out when you shake it. I even hit the pad against the sink wall a few times. The pad will last so much longer! By FI1969 from Catonsville, MD Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping mall. I noticed another man driving very slowly in the same direction, and, since he was closer, I gave him the "Are you going to park there?" look. His responding gestures were very cofusing. First he shook his head. Next he pointed at me, then at the parking space and then at himself, his watch and the mall. Finishing off, he frowned, raised his palms upward and shrugged. Once I parked, I walked over to the driver to make sure he didn't want the space. "You must be single," he replied. "If you were married, you would've known that was the universal sign for 'Go ahead and take the spot. I'm waiting for my wife.'"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm ! wearing it," she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A few days later, they went! shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding! And I'll be there early."
» Dallas Arboretum


Today in 
1394 Jews are expelled from France by Charles VI 
1679 Great panic occurs in Europe over the close approach of a comet 
1762 Spain acquires Louisiana 
1839 1st opium war-2 British frigates engage several Chinese junks 
1885 Tacoma vigilantes drive out Chinese, burn their homes
1918 Austro-Hungarian Empire dissolves
1918 Poland proclaims independence from Russia after WW I  
1927 Tropical storm flooding kills 84 in Winooski River Valley (Vt) 
1930 1st vehicular tunnel to a foreign country (Detroit-Windsor)
1931 1st commercially produced synthetic rubber manufactured 
1948 Truman beats Dewey, confounding pollsters & newspapers
1955 1st virus crystallized (announced) 
1957 USSR launches Sputnik 2 with a dog (Laika)
1973 Mariner 10 launched-1st Venus pics, 1st mission to Mercury 
1979 63 Americans taken hostage at US Embassy (Teheran, Iran) 
1984 3,000 die in 3 day anti-Sikh riot in India 
1986 Lebanese magazine Ash Shirra reveals secret US arms 
    sales to Iran 
1988 Reagan signs credit-card disclosure-bill
1988 Soviet Union agrees to allow teaching of Hebrew 
2012  smiled


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Link not working in MSN Mail 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, November 2
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



We had some nice hoar frost that lasted till mid afternoon.
No sun to light it up. Maybe tomorrow?

Have FUN!
Dear Webby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry." --- Winston Churchill Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. --- Robert Frost
Jason went to a psychiatrist "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor yelled: "Next!" You got to be nuts to go see a shrink!
A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife and her mother are up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man, you'll never hit her from here!"
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Yes, I know, YOU never fart, but is there somebody you know, who would benefit from this eBook? Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Lisa Wagnon, 48, in Salado, Texas Jailed for Having Sex With 15-Year-Old Student Lisa Wagnon Facebook Reported by The Weekly Vice Lisa Wagnon, a 48-year-old teacher at Salado Intermediate School was jailed Thursday after she allegedly had sex with a 15-year-old student. According to the Bell County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched last Monday after a student told school administrators that Wagnon was having a sexual relationship with a student. School administrators questioned the alleged beneficiary, who reportedly confirmed the relationship. Investigators say Wagnon picked up the student from school, drove him to her home and had sexual intercourse with him. Detectives also obtained information from the beneficiary's Facebook profile that further substantiate the allegations. Wagnon, who worked as an elementary school reading teacher, has since resigned her position with the district. Wagnon is reportedly married with two teenage children. Wagnon turned herself in to the Travis County Jail after an arrest warrant had been published and was charged with improper relationship between educator and student. Her bond has been set at $10,000. Picking a gossipy kid and yapping on Facebook finished her career.
Tech Support Pits From: Cleta Re: MSN does not show the song video Dear Webby On my MSN mail the video would not play for me. It said i had to go to you tube to listen to it. But I do love that song. Cleta Dear Cleta That is why I added the Youtube link below it. You can also look at the Humor Letter Online. Now that day's page, of course is in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog There the Taliban at MSN can't censor your stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse a Bird Bath Base: Recycle that base from your broken bird bath! Many times I have rescued the bottom portions of those broken concrete bird baths that are out for the trash. Just turn them over and sink the narrow top end into the ground by using a narrow bladed shovel or a post hole digger until it is sitting stable in the dirt. The solid concrete bases can be used as a plant display stand or you can put a large clay pot saucer on the top for a bird bath. By MaryCrane from Orange Park, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

I was recently talking with a friend who bemoaned her family's lack of holiday rituals. "My family doesn't have any traditions," she complained. "We just do the same thing year after year after year."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?
» Dallas Arboretum


Today in 
1648 12,000 Jews massacred by Chmielnicki in Narol
1915 1st US election by proportional representation, Ashtabula, Ohio
1917 Balfour Declaration proclaims support for a Jewish state in Palestine
1947 Howard Hughes' "Spruce Goose" flies for 1st (& last) time
1948 Truman beats Dewey, confounding pollsters & newspapers
1956 Hungary appeals for UN assistance against Soviet invasion
1956 Israel captures Gaza and Sheham 
1991 Jermaine Jackson releases "Word to the Badd!!" anti Michael song
2012  smiled


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Adjust and pre-set window sizes 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, November 1

One of the fringe benefits of AccuRadio Internet radio is
seeing the info of what is playing. Right now they played
 	God Bless the U.S.A.
Artist: 	Lee Greenwood
Album: 	God Bless the U.S.A
Composer: P. Alger, G. Brooks

As I nudged the volume up, it occurred to me that
anybody singing or listeing to that, might get deprogrammed.

It is from the 80's, so if you want to refresh your memory,
here is a rendition of it on YouTube:


If that does not work in your email program, try this link:
God bless the USA

Have FUN!
Dear Webby


I moved the history column to the end.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money." --- Gary Larson
A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang "Happy Birthday" to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number. "Don't let it bother you," said a strange but amused voice. "You folks need all the practice you can get."
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he left the bar some time later, he realized that his horse had been stolen. The cowboy rushed back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking, and then fired a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse!" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I did back in Texas. And let me tell you, I don't wanna have to do what I did back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy had another beer, then walked outside to find his horse was back. So, he saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and said, "Say partner, what happened in Texas anyway?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

It is fun to fart some of the time, but there definitely are times, when it is better not to. Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Briana Motley, 19, in Dallas, Texas Jailed After Dropping Infant On Head While Fleeing Store Security Reported by The Weekly Vice Briana Motley, a 19-year-old Texas woman was jailed after she dropped her baby daughter on her head while fleeing store security personnel who was attempting to stop her for shoplifting. According to police, security officers at a Macy's department store stopped Motley in the parking lot after she shoplifted several items and then left the store without paying the merchandise. Investigators say security officers watched Motley as she pushed a baby stroller around the store with a baby inside. Motley was also observed stuffing jeans, shirts, sweaters, leggings and other merchandise into the stroller before exiting the store. When security officers made contact with Motley, she responded by grabbing the baby and attempting to flee the scene. The escape attempt was short lived when Motley reportedly dropped the infant on her head. Paramedics called to the scene treated the baby for a lump on the forehead. Motley was booked into the Dallas County Jail and charged with theft and injury to a child.
Tech Support Pits From: Ginger Re: Resize Windows Dear Webby I think you covered this before but I cannot remember what the trick was to make sure all the windows I open are maximized. For some reason, about 2 weeks ago, all the new windows I want to open come up minimized and I have to click to enlarge them.... Thanks for your help – I always enjoy your computer tips. Ginger Dear Ginger Which browser are you using? Which Operating System are you using? XP or W7? Normally that problem occurs only when you use Internet Explorer. All the others have solved that problem. By the way, "Minimized" means all you have is an icon on the task bar, "Maximized" is when a program fills the entire screen so that no other program peeks through on the side or above or below it. "Just Right" is when a program is open big enough to comfortably use it, but leaves a margin open on the side or top or bottom, where you see other icons or other programs, or when you use two or more programs side by side, for example a browser and an email program. "Just Right" is achieved with the bigger square at the top right corner of a window, or by double-clicking the top bar. Normally programs open again to the same "Just Right" size and location the next time you open them. "Just right" is the safest method. That way you can usually see it, when a site opens something behind the top window. Have FUN! DearWebby sorry – I am using Windows 7 Home Premium, 64 bit with Internet Explorer. What I mean by "minimized"¯ is that the screens that open are about 3x3"¯ – too small to do anything with until I maximize them. I would like them to open maximized.... thanks, Ginger Dear Ginger 3 x 3 is not minimized. Minimized is OFF the screen and just an icon on the task bar. Simply grab the edges of a 3 x 3 window and drag it to the size you want, for example almost full screen with just some icons peeking around it's edge. Then it is "Just Right" ( NOT Maximized!) Don't use the square at the right top for that, or double- clicking on the top bar. Do it by dragging the edges of the window. THEN close that program, and re-open it. It will open in the same size and position it was in, when you closed it. That method does not work with Windows Media Player. Microsoft programs are often not compatible with Windows. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Disposable Tablecloths to Wrap Large Items When wrapping larger Christmas gifts, instead of using a lot of wrapping paper and tape, buy a holiday tablecloth (Dollar Store or equivalent), and tie it at the top with ribbon. It works wonderfully! This can be done with any holiday or birthday present and is such a time saver. By Dreamwvr from Spokane, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

The recreational director of a mental hospital wanted to take a well-behaved group of inmates to a baseball game. The General Manager of the club was a little leery of this. When the Recreational Director said: "If I prove to you how well behaved they are, will you let them in?" The General Director agreed. The group of inmates came in and sat down. The Recreational Director shouted: "Stand up, nuts!" Everyone stood up. "Sit down, nuts!" Everyone sat down. "Look behind you, nuts!" Everyone turned around. Pleased with that, the General Manager let them in. About the third inning or so, he heard a tremendous commotion. People were running helter skelter. He asked what happened and was told that someone had called out: "PEA NUTS!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Work Phrases Explained Activate: Spellcheck and add more names to the memo. Advanced Design: Beyond the comprehension of the ad agency's copywriters. All New: Parts not interchangeable with existing models. Approved: Needs revising Automatic: Not repairable by user Channels: The trails left by interoffice memos. Clarify: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground. Conference: A place where conversation is substituted for the loneliness of thought and the dreariness of labor. Confidential Memo: No time to photocopy for the whole office. Consultant: Someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is and then walks away with the watch. Forwarded For Your Consideration: You hold the bag for a while. FYI: Found yesterday, interested? In Conference: Nobody can find him/her. Let's Get Together On This: I'm assuming you're as confused as I. Note & Initial: I'm not taking the fall for this myself. Policy: We can hide behind this. Please See Me: Come down to my office. I'm lonely/bored. Top Priority: It is rather stupid, but the boss wants it. We Are Taking A Survey: We need more time to think of an answer/excuse or we can't find anyone willing to be responsible for this. Will Advise In Due Course: If we figure it out, we'll let you know.
» Rush Hour Nightmares


Today in 
79 Pompei buried by Mt Vesuvius 
1210 King John of England begins imprisoning Jews 
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on ceiling of Sistine Chapel
1755 Lisbon earthquake kills more than 50,000
1894 Vaccine for diphtheria announced by Dr Roux of Paris
1922 Ottoman Empire abolished 
1928 Graf Zeppelin sets airship distance record of 6384 km 
1932 Wernher von Braun named head of German 
   liquid-fuel rocket program
1939 1st jet plane, Heinkel He 178
1951 1st atomic explosion witnessed by troops, NM 
1952 1st H-Bomb exploded at Eniwetok Atoll
1956 Nagy government of Hungary withdraws from Warsaw Pact 
1962 Greece enters the European Common Market 
1963 Revolt against the Diem regime in South Vietnam
1979 Federal government made $1.5 billion loan to Chrysler
1979 Tanker Burmah Agate off Galveston Bay, Texas, spills 10.7 M
  gallons of oil, in US's worst oil spill disaster 
1990 Sandra Miller awarded $100 for Mike Tyson fondling her
   breasts
2012  smiled


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Boss key 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 31
Happy Halloween!

Have FUN!
Dear Webby

Today in 
1517 Luther posts 95 theses on Wittenberg church-
   Protestant Reformation 
1815 Sir Humphrey Davy of London patents miner's safety lamp 
1952 1st thermonuclear bomb (H-Bomb) detonated-Marshall Islands 
1954 Algerian Revolution against French begins 
1956 Britain & France begin to bomb Egypt to reopen the Suez Canal
1968 President Johnson orders a halt to all bombing of North Vietnam 
1984 Puerto Rican tanker, San Francisco explodes spilling 2 million 
   gallons of oil as the ship caught fire
1987 A pair in Coventry, England ties the world record for the longest 
   singles tennis match at 80 hrs 21 minutes 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Life is just one damned thing after another. --- Elbert Hubbard Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others. --- Ambrose Bierce
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
>From Rosie Dear Webby, a few years ago you had a hilarious diary of a snow shoveler. Have you still got it, and could please you print it again ? Rosie Sure, Rosie! Here it is: Diary of a Snow Shoveler: December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life! December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor. December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway And sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so. December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all. December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my rear end on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like you can't believe. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel. December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room. December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. That dumb snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. December 21: Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying. December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crud fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to use the bathroom. By the time I got undressed, went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I'm sure he is lying. December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying. December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a gun who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his ears. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that snowplow. December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the miserable slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to scream! December 26: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves. December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze. December 28: Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE B***CH is driving me crazy!!!!! December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am? December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches of snow predicted. December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling. January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Peacock Decor Jaipur India
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

It is fun to fart some of the time, but there definitely are times, when it is better not to. Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jayme Sanders, 33, in Williamston, S.C. PTO President jailed for screwing daughter's boyfriend for 5 months Reported by The Weekly Vice Jayme Sanders, a 33-year-old Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) president, has been jailed after she allegedly had sex repeatedly with a 14-year-old student. According to Williamston Police, an investigation began last month when the boy's mother reported the alleged relationship. Investigators say Sanders met the boy when he became friends with her teenage daughter. Some time in April of this year, Sanders reportedly began having sex with the boy. The alleged sexual relationship continued for 5 months. Police believe the sexual encounters took place at Sanders home and inside a portable classroom at Palmetto Middle School where Sanders is the PTO president. Sanders is also a former substitute teacher at West Pelzer Elementary School. Sanders was booked into jail and charged with criminal sexual conduct with a minor.
Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Boss Key Dear Webby I have a really incompetent department boss, who is paranoid that everybody might be goofing around instead of working as much as she probably is. For my work I DO have to look things up, but if she walks by and sees something, that does not look boring, she stops and asks all kinds of dumb questions and just wastes my time. At one time you mentioned a key combo, that quickly hides what you are doing, but I forgot what it is and how to set it up. Can you please tell me again? Thanks Bonnie Dear Bonnie First open your most tedious looking spreadsheet to full screen size. Hit the Print Screen button to print it to memory, then jump to a graphics program and paste it as a new image. CTRL V works for that in standard programs. Save that to a place, that you can find easily. Browse to it with the FILE Explorer. Right-click it, and select: Set as background. OK, now your computer is primed and ready. When Ms Snoop waddles into sight, hold down the Windows key and hit D. All program screens instantly close, showing your desktop, which is a picture of a spreadsheet. Stare at the picture of the spreadsheet with furrowed brow, as if YOU are about to ask stupid questions. When the coast is clear, hit the Windows key and D again, and everything is miraculously restored. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycle Plastic Lemons as a Vase I emptied this little lemon juice container and thought of using it for my kitchen counter with a few fresh flowers from the yard. I usually have something blooming year round, so a bloom or two brightens my day. Source: On a quest to recycle. By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

"Periodic Elements" Valuable scientific data. Two proposed new additions to the periodic table (from Chemistry class)elements: Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there) Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen. Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands. Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (180+/-50) Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child)for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sit for a few months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder. "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Good Grief!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me NINE months to find a priest up here! It would take me damn near as long to find a lawyer!"
» Droplets of paint


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How to make a Hibernate shortcut? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 30

>From Nan
Bob will be doing "The Alex Jones Show" tomorrow, 
Oct 30 at 12 noon Pacific time. He will be speaking about 
Weather Control. Bob testified before the US Senate in 1995 
regarding Weather Control (and other things) ..and they 
mocked him...A few years ago the Congress  initiated a bill
 to control weather manipulation as a weapon 
Who was right??? If you cannot listen at that time ..it will be 
on again on the Alex's website and it usually hits you-tube also!        
http://www.infowars.com/

Nan and Bob have been subscribers for many years.
If you are interested or concerned about weather control
and chem-trails, listen to Bob!

Have FUN!
Dear Webby

Today in 
1270 8th & last crusade is launched
1864 Helena, Montana's capital, founded 
1888 1st ballpoint pen patented 
1905 "October Manifesto" Russian Tsar Nicholas II grants civil liberties
1930 Turkey & Greece sign a treaty of friendship
1938 Orson Welles panics a nation with broadcast of "War of the Worlds" 
1948 20 die & 6,000 made ill by smog in Donora Pennsylvania
1961 Soviet Union tests a 58 megaton hydrogen bomb
1967 USSR Kosmos 186 & 188 make 1st automatic docking
1980 Honduras & El Salvador settle their boundary dispute
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Life is just one damned thing after another. -=- Elbert Hubbard The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question. --- Stephen Jay Gould
A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him. Yet the feeling persisted. When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried: "Daddy, where's Mommy?"
That evening a group of parishioners came to visit. The preacher and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were amazed. Finally, one man asked, "Can he do normal dog tricks too?" "Let's see" said the preacher. Pointing his finger at the dog, he commanded "Heel!" The dog immediately jumped up on a chair, placed one paw on the preacher's forehead and began to howl. The preacher turned to his wife and exclaimed "Good grief, we've bought a Pentecostal dog!"
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Thanks to Sexy Sass C for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Vermont Fall
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

It is fun to fart some of the time, but there definitely are times, when it is better not to. Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Rose Woolbright, 30, Bowling Green, Kentucky Rose Woolbright - Mother Jailed After Pimping Out Underage Daughter For Cash Reported by The Weekly Vice Rose Marie Woolbright, a 30-year-old Kentucky woman was jailed Thursday after she allegedly pimped out her 13-year-old daughter to two men in exchange for money. According to Warren County Prosecutors, Woolbright allegedly allowed two men to engage in sex acts with a 13-year-old girl in exchange for cash. Investigators say the two men, on one occasion, had a threesome with the girl and videotaped the encounter. The case marks the first time an arrest like this has been made in Warren County and is only the 13th such incident in the state of Kentucky. Woolbright was booked into jail and charged with human trafficking, unlawful transaction with a minor and second- degree sodomy. The two men involved in the alleged incidents were also arrested and charged. Chad Simmons, 37, was charged with two counts of sodomy and two counts of first-degree unlawful transaction with a minor. Pedro Diaz, 28, was charged with second-degree rape. The case will now be presented to a grand jury for indictment.
Tech Support Pits From: Jorge Re: How do I make that Hibernate shortcut Dear Webby Thank you for the info about hibernating your computer: "If you want, you can even make a shortcut icon for Hibernation: Target: C:\Windows\System32\rundll32.exe powrprof.dll,SetSuspendState 0,1,0 Start In: C:\Windows\System32 " So how do I apply that? What are the mechanics? Do I put the code in a text file? Then what? How does one activate a shortcut? Sorry to be so dense on the subject, but I just have never gotten into that before! Thanks! Best personal regards, Jorge Dear Jorge Sorry, I should have been a bit more specific. Right-click on the Desktop NEW Shortcut then into: "Location of the item" paste: C:\Windows\System32\rundll32.exe powrprof.dll,SetSuspendState 0,1,0 Next Type Hiber or something like that for the icon title Finish If you want, change the icon. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycle Plastic Lemons as a Vase I emptied this little lemon juice container and thought of using it for my kitchen counter with a few fresh flowers from the yard. I usually have something blooming year round, so a bloom or two brightens my day. Source: On a quest to recycle. By Great Granny Vi from Moorpark, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

From Sheila in Oz "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Here is a delightful Classic: The Heberts were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Hebert kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning madam. I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. Come in," Mrs. Hebert cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! My specialty is babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" Photographer - "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too. You can really spread out!" Wife - "Bathtub, couch, bed, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for my husband and me." Photographer - "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But! if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." Wife - "My, my, that's a lot of...." Photographer - "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." (Wife muttering)- "Don't I know it." The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus." Wife - "Oh my goodness!" Photographer - "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." Wife - "She was difficult?" Photographer - "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." Wife - "Four and five deep?" (eyes wide in amazement). Photographer - "Yes, and for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Wife (leaning forward) - "You mean they actually chewed on your.....equipment?" Photographer - "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." Wife - "Tripod?" photographer - "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!"
» Equine A-plenty


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Sleep or turn off? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 29

Have FUN!
Dear Webby

Today in 
539 -BC- Babylon falls to Cyrus the Great of Persia
1682 William Penn lands in what will become Pennsylvania
1727 Severe earthquake in New England 
1811 1st Ohio River steamboat leaves Pittsburgh for New Orleans
1929 "Black Tuesday," Stock Market crashes triggers "Great Depression" 
1942 16,000 Jews killed in Pinsk Russia 
1942 Alaska highway completed
1945 1st ball point pen goes on sale, 57 years after it was patented
1988 China announces a herbal male contraceptive 
Today is Labor Day in New Zealand
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born. --- Ronald Reagan
In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger." "Then I don't want it," retorted the customer. "I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!"
>From Britta My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat." "No, you're not," she scolded. "My hair is awful," I said. "It's lovely," she encouraged. "I've never looked worse," I whined. And she said, "Oh, yes, you have!"
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

It is fun to fart some of the time, but there definitely are times, when it is better not to. Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Darien Caruso and James Hardy, 19, in Bradenton, Florida Idiots Get Lost While Fleeing Burglary, End Up Back At Crime Scene Reported by The Weekly Vice Darien Caruso and James Hardy, two 19-year-old Bradenton boneheads were jailed Sunday after they allegedly burglared a residence, got lost while fleeing, and unintentionally ended up back at the crime scene. According to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, a witness called police after two men were seen burglaring a home and then fleeing the residence with several items. While officers were investigating the scene, the suspects arrived back at the crime scene in the vehicle they used to flee the scene with. When officers stopped the car and searched it, they found several items that belonged to the victims laying in plain view. When police questioned them, they admitted that they had burglared the residence, but had become lost while trying to find a way out of the neighborhood. Caruso and Hardy were booked into the Manatee County Jail and charged with armed burglary.
Tech Support Pits From: Donna Re: Sleep or turn off Hi Webby... maybe you can help me... Usually I just put my computer into sleep mode overnight and for the few hours I'm at work. I recently read something that said because there is still power to the memory and other parts of the computer, putting it to sleep is actually harder on the computer than turning it off and back on because of heat retention. What do YOU think? Thanks for your newsletter, I read it daily and love it! Donna Dear Donna The computer has fans, that take care of the heat, while it is running. If it is completely turned off and unplugged, then of course the fans can't do any cooling. Don't worry about night time heating from the computer. Hibernate is probably the best, unless you expect it to do virus scans and defrags at night. Just plan what you want done on which nights. On those nights leave it running normally, and on nights, when there are no chores, set it to hibernate. It comes out of hibernation faster than from a cold start, and all your programs are the same as they were when you told it to Hibernate. If you want, you can even make a shortcut icon for Hibernation: Target: C:\Windows\System32\rundll32.exe powrprof.dll,SetSuspendState 0,1,0 Start In: C:\Windows\System32 When you hit that shortcut icon, it goes into hibernation instantly, without asking any silly questions about whether you really, really mean it, deep down inside. It just does as told, and when you hit the power on button the next day, it starts up with each program as it was. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dust Cakes With Powdered Sugar Instead of Frosting When my mother used to have friends over in the evening she wanted to serve a snack (cake and coffee) but most of them were elderly and would turn down the cake because of the frosting. The problem was solved by using a round single layer cake. Buy 8-inch doilies, place a doily on top of the cake, and sprinkled it lightly with confectioner's sugar. Remove the doily and you have a lacy design on the cake without all of the icing. By Clynnaltemus from Inglis, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how for Christmas this year he'd love to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies and play a round. His buddies all chimed in and said, "Let's do it! We'll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early, Christmas morning." Months later, that special morning arrives, and there they are on the golf course. The first guy says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my wife such a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes off it." Number 2 guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures." Number 3 guy says "Well my wife is at home admiring her new car, reading the manual." They all turned to the last guy in the group and he is staring at them like they have lost their minds. "I can't believe you all went to such expense for this golf game. I slapped my wife on the behind and said, 'Well babe, is it sex or golf?' and she said, "Take a sweater."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A woman went to see her lawyer, taking with her a baby and four children under the age of five. "I want a divorce," she said. "On what grounds?" he asked. "Desertion, sir," she said. "Desertion?" he asked, looking at the five young children. "Well," she confided, "he does come home every Mothers Day to apologize."
» The life of flowers


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Safe Cookies 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 28

Last night's 7.7 earth quake in BC luckily did not seem to
cause any injury or damage. Some of you probably wondered 
where that "Haida Gwaii", that the news mentioned, is. 
That is the new (since 2010) and politically correct name 
now for the Queen Charlotte islands. Eventually the maps
will be showing the new name.

Have FUN!
Dear Webby

Today in 
1492 Christopher Columbus discovers Cuba 
1636 Harvard University (Boston) established 
1793 Eli Whitney applies for a patent on the cotton gin 
1886 Statue of Liberty dedicated by Pres Grover Cleveland, 
   it is celebrated by the 1st confetti (ticker tape) parade in NYC
1891 Quake strikes Mino-Owari, Japan kills 7,300
1904 St Louis police try a new investigation method-fingerprints
1922 1st coast-to-coast radio broadcast of a football game
1922 Benito Mussolini takes control of Italy's government 
1940 Greece successfully resists Italy's attack 
1962 Khrushchev orders withdrawal of missiles from Cuba, ending crisis 
1946 German rocket engineers, that have not been hauled to the US in 1945, 
   begin work in USSR
1988 Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen gives $10 million to U Wash library
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever. --- Anatole France A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation. --- Bertrand Russell
Lory, was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important doctors appointment and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, she said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up margaritas." Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Lory looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."
Not long after his marriage, Joe Jr and his father Joe Sr, met for lunch. "Well, son," asked Joe Sr, "how is married life treating you?" "Not very well, I'm afraid," sighed junior. "It seems I married a nun." "A nun?" his father questioned. "That's right," moaned Joe Jr. "None in the morning, none at night, and none at all unless I beg!" Joe Sr nodded knowingly and slapped his boy on the back a couple of times. "Why don't we all get together for dinner tonight and have a nice talk?" Young Joe smiled, "Say, Dad, that's a great idea!" "Fine," replied Joe Sr, "I'll call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates."
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

It is fun to fart some of the time, but there definitely are times, when it is better not to. Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Amanda Barker, 32, Mannington, W. Va. Cheerleading Coach - Charged With Having Sex With 16-Year-Old Student Reported by The Weekly Vice Amanda Barker, a 32-year-old cheerleading coach at North Marion High School has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with a 16-year-old student. According to police, an investigation was launched after a student reported the alleged sexual assault to the school's assistant principal. Investigators say school administrators questioned the boy about the allegations which the boy denied initially. The student then admitted to having sex with Barker on three occasions at her home in Mannington. He went on to say that he spent a lot of time with Barker at her home because she was a friend of the family and her husband, Josh Barker, had coached him in soccer. The boy went on to say that Barker performed oral sex on him during each encounter on the couch in her living room. Barker's husband was reportedly asleep in a bedroom when the alleged sex occurred. When investigators questioned Barker, she initially denied the charges but later admitted to them, according to an arrest affidavit. Barker was booked into jail and charged with three counts of child sexual abuse by a person in a position of trust. She was released after posting a $15,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Which cookies are safe? Dear Webby, I have been fanatically getting rid of cookies for many years, but more and more people, especially the banks, tell me to leave them alone and not f***, ahem mess with them. What's the real story? Thanks Chris Dear Chris I agree with the banks. Don't mess with the cookies. In the 90's some sites stored more than necessary information in cookies, which led to abuse. However, by the late 90's everybody had smartened up and cookies became safe. For example, the banks don't store account info or anything confidential in cookies, but IF you have successfully entered your user name and password, then they look for a stashed cookie, that tells them that it is indeed you, and not just somebody, who read the user name and password from where you had written them onto a post-it-note. Without that cookie, they dump your password and make you jump through all kinds of hoops, just to verify it is really you. The same with many other sites, that require you to enter the same old stuff again and again. Leave the cookies alone and the net becomes a much friendlier place. It's not the cookies, it's the places you go to, that should be of concern. Malicious and fraudulent sites don't bother with cookies, they sneak a virus or trojan onto you, or a flakey tool bar, that is difficult to get rid of. When you notice something like that, get outa there fast and don't go back. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wooden Spoon When Cooking Fudge When making fudge, use a wooden spoon not metal. Heat from the fudge will go to the spoon and it takes longer for the fudge to come to the right stage. By Janette from Parkersburg, WV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean.When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job. He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an application as an "Experienced logger." It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree. "See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains." The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a Sitka Spruce and contains 383 board feet of lumber." The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window. He asks the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class. "It's a Douglas Fir, it has 690 board feet." says the Newfie. Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and got the answers right without even using a calculator! One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his driver side window. "And what about that one?" Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A Yellow cedar, 242 board feet." The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a little annoyrf because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he is. As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck, and asks the Newfie to step outside. He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of that tree. "The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does he know which is the front of the tree? " When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He comes back to the foreman and hands him the chalk. "That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states. The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the heck do you know that's the front of the tree?" The Newfie looks down at his feet, while moving the toe of his left boot clockwise in the gravel, replies, "Cuz someone used the back side for an outhouse." He got the job!!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule: Don't hit the ducks. The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks "The ducks?" "Yes", St. Peter replies, "There are millions of ducks walking around the course and if one gets hit, he squawks then the one next to him squawks and soon they're all squawking to beat the band and it really breaks the tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you'll be punished, otherwise everything is yours to enjoy." Upon entering the course, the men noted that there were indeed large numbers of ducks everywhere. Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys hit one of them. The duck squawked, the one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening roar of duck quacks. St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asked "Who hit the duck?" The guy who had done it admitted "I did." St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand. "I told you not to hit the ducks," he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity." The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman. St.Peter determined which one had hit the duck by the fear in his face and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand. I told you not to hit the ducks," he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity." The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this he still hadn't hit a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three months and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the man and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off. The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said "What have I done to deserve this?" The woman responded "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."
» Memorabilia


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Which cookies are safe? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 27

Have FUN!
Dear Webby

Today in 
1492 Cuba "discovered": Discovery Day
1775 US Navy established 
1810 US annexes West Florida from Spain 
1925 Water skis patented by Fred Waller 
1938 DuPont announces its new synthetic fiber "nylon" 
1959 Rare Pacific hurricane kills 2,000 in Western Mexico 
1969 Ralph Nader sets up a consumer organization
1980 Dave Gryllis sets world bicycle speed record of 94.37 kph
1982 China announces its population at 1 billion people
1988 "ET" released to home video (14 million presold) 
1988 Larry Flynt paid hitman $1M to kill Hefner, Guccione & Sinatra 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. --- Dave Barry
I went to the store the other day to pick out a new tie for an upcoming wedding. I found one that matched my suit but it didn't have a price tag on it. So I asked the clerk, "Hey, buddy, how much is this tie?" He said, "Sixty-five dollars." I said, "What! I can buy a pair of shoes with that kind of money." He said, "Maybe, but with your neck, shoes would look silly." I'll get one from the Salvation Army for a dollar.
While picking up some stuff for a neighbor at the dry-cleaning shop, I overheard a young airman describe in great detail how he wanted his uniform cleaned and pressed. When he finished, the counter clerk asked, "Are you getting an award, or do you have an important military function to attend?" "Nothing like that," the airman said. "I'm on leave and my l ittle brother is taking me to his second-grade class for 'Show-n-Tell.' "
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

It is fun to fart some of the time, but there definitely are times, when it is better not to. If that link to that cute little movie does not work, try this: One Last Kiss Cure Flatulence
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Heather Atkins, 26, in Columbia, SC Charged With Crying Rape After Woman Catches Her Naked In Shower With Her Boyfriend Reported by The Weekly Vice Heather Atkins, a 26-year-old Columbia woman was jailed after she falsely claimed that she had been raped, when actually she was caught in the shower with another woman's boyfriend. According to the Columbia Police Department, Atkins told detectives she received a black eye during a sexual assault on Friday. Investigators say Atkins told them that she was punched in the face and then dragged to a secluded area by two black men who proceeded to rape and then rob her. "After three days of investigating this case, investigators discovered that this whole story was a lie," according to Columbia Police Chief, Randy Scott. "She lied to the Columbia Police Department, she lied to her family, she lied to the public and she broke the trust of the people around her." Investigators say Atkins had actually gone to the home of a male co-worker and received her black eye when the man's girlfriend caught the two naked in the shower and punched her in the face. Atkins was booked into jail and charged with filing a false police report. She was released after posting a $20,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Which cookies are safe? Dear Webby, I have been fanatically getting rid of cookies for many years, but more and more people, especially the banks, tell me to leave them alone and not f***, ahem mess with them. What's the real story? Thanks Chris Dear Chris I agree with the banks. Don't mess with the cookies. In the 90's some sites stored more than necessary information in cookies, which led to abuse. However, by the late 90's everybody had smartened up and cookies became safe. For example, the banks don't store account info or anything confidential in cookies, but IF you have successfully entered your user name and password, then they look for a stashed cookie, that tells them that it is indeed you, and not just somebody, who read the user name and password from where you had written them onto a post-it-note. Without that cookie, they dump your password and make you jump through all kinds of hoops, just to verify it is really you. The same with many other sites, that require you to enter the same old stuff again and again. Leave the cookies alone and the net becomes a much friendlier place. It's not the cookies, it's the places you go to, that should be of concern. Malicious and fraudulent sites don't bother with cookies, they sneak a virus or trojan onto you, or a flakey tool bar, that is difficult to get rid of. When you notice something like that, get outa there fast and don't go back. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cardboard Fabric Liners For Storage Use the inner cardboard liners from bolts of fabrics to store your fabric. Stores will give them to you if you ask. Cut them in half and use them to wrap individual yardages around and store, upright, in those legal-sized cardboard boxes you get from office supply stores. You have only to glance at the top of the box to see what fabric you have in storage and each piece of fabric is the same size and standing straight up in the box. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Oh no," he objected. "Any idiot can open an oyster."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In England apparently they still have a Milkman: "Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one." "Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk." "Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it" "Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk." "Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks." "Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round." "When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress." My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle." "Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me." "Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it." "From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk." My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight." "Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday or is it today?" "When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk." "No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."
» Scotland, only one click away


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Card picked-up notices 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



I sure can emphasize with those of you, who use Dial-Up.
Had totally forgotten how slow that is. Not surprisingly,
the slowest site of all was the one of Telus, my ISP.

Have FUN!
Dear Webby

Today in 
1825 Erie Canal between Hudson River & Lake Erie opened 
1863 Worldwide Red Cross organized in Geneva 
1881 Shootout at the OK corral, in Tombstone, Az
1905 Union of Sweden & Norway ends
1916 Margaret Sanger arrested for obscenity 
   (advocating birth control) 
1949 Pres Truman increases minimum wage from 40 cents to 
   75 cents
1956 UN's International Atomic Energy Agency statute approved
1956 Vietnam promulgates its constitution 
1967 Shah of Iran crowns himself after 26 years on Peacock Throne 
1988 Donald Trump bills Mike Tyson $2,000,000 for 
   4 month advisory service
1988 US-Soviet effort free 2 grey whales from frozen Arctic, Barrow, AK
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it. --- Jules Renard The love of truth lies at the root of much humor. --- Robertson Davies Ability will never catch up with the demand for it. --- Malcolm Forbes
Truck Stop and Diner code, from the days, when the people who worked there were English speaking locals: Paint it red Put ketchup on an item Java, Joe or a cup of mud Coffee A blonde with sand Coffee with cream and sugar Shake one in the hay Strawberry milkshake Cackle fruit Eggs Wreck 'em Scrambled eggs Adam & Eve on a raft Two poached eggs on toast On the hoof Any kind of meat cooked rare Bloodhound in the Hay Hot dog and Sauerkraut Whistleberries Baked beans Frog sticks French fries Paint a bow-wow red Gimme a hot dog with ketchup Irish turkey Corned beef and cabbage Zeppelins in a fog Sausages and mashed potatoes Burn one Put a hamburger on the grill Pin a rose on it Add onion to an order Burn one; drag it through Hamburger with lettuce, tomato the garden and pin a rose and onion on it.
A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business! The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make $300 a week. Why?" The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?" From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's, waiting for the foreman to bring him today's list."
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time using healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Reanna Douglas, 21, Lake Orion, Mich. Coach - Charged With Having Sex With 15-Year-Old Girl Reported by The Weekly Vice Reanna Douglas a 21-year-old girl's lacrosse coach at Lake Orion High School has been jailed after she allegedly had a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old female student. According to the Douglas County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched in August after the parents of a 15-year-old girl contacted authorities about an alleged sexual relationship that developed between Douglas and their daughter. Investigators say Douglas and the girl had an inappropriate relationship that began after Douglas was contracted by the school district to coach their girl's lacrosse team. The school district terminated Douglas's contract shortly after the allegations surfaced. Douglas was booked into jail and charged with third-degree criminal sexual conduct. Bond in her case has been set at $15,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Gretchen Re: Card picked up notice Dear Webby, Hi, I have a general question that I hope you will answer. I have sent 3 cards from Action Cat this month. However, I only received a notice today that the card I had sent this morning had been picked up later in the day. Is this a new feature that was activated on the site to automatically notify the sender when the card was picked up between the 15th (when I had sent the previous card) and today, the 25th? Or does it have anything to do with how the card is opened? It has been so long since I have received one of the cards from this site that I have forgotten if there is something that asks if the recipient wants to notify the sender that the card has been received. I would be very appreciative if you could let me know, as I was very anxious to be sure one of those cards had been received. I couldn't call the recipient as she has one of those phones that have the budgeted minutes and at the time I sent the card, she was out of minutes. But as she was sick, I was very concerned about her, so it would have greatly relieved me to get the same message then as I did today. Any information would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time and effort, Sincerely Gretchen Dear Gretchen We have had the "Picked Up Notification" since the days, when you were still jail bait. You CAN turn that feature off, but on most card sites, the default is to send you a "Picked Up Notification". The SENDER is the one, who decides whether or not she gets that "Picked Up Notification". If the recipient has a full mailbox or does not check her email during the KEEP time, then the card falls off and you don't get a "Picked Up Notification". The KEEP time varies. Some sites have their KEEP time set to 7 days, others as long as 30, but there is a definite end somewhere. Even if a site's KEEP time is set for a whole month, if the recipient does not go and open the card in that time, then you won't get a "Picked Up Notification". On the better card sites you can also send an Archive copy to yourself, so that you can look up what you sent last time. With frantic lovers, that feature is quite important too. Just send a card to yourself to get familiar with the system again. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Drawers Closed With Cellophane During a Move When moving, be careful not to use tape on your furniture to hold dresser or night stand drawers closed. The tape can easily damage the finish, especially in hot weather. Use a self clinging cellophane wrap. It can be purchased on different size rolls at hardware stores, UPS, and office supplies. It can be wrapped around lamps or fragile items also. By Linda from Arlington, TX Cellophane is the noisy clear wrapping, that does not stretch. I think she means a cling or shrink wrap like Saran Wrap. Grocery stores have it in widths from 8" to 16". Industrial and commercial suppliers have it in 24"to 60" widths in mile long rolls at considerably lower prices. If you use the big, fat commercial rolls, then when done, give the left over roll to the next person, who moves, so that your kids are not tempted to shrinkwrap your car, or the principal's car. For kids, that stuff is hard to resist! They even use it across cat doors, just to make a youTube movie of the surprised look on the cat's face, when it runs into the invisible barrier. And of course toilets and bath tubs are favorite targets too. If you can't hide it, give it away! Surprisingly, they don't play with the short and thin roll in the kitchen drawer. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure she'd have no trouble finding a new position, because of the nursing shortage in her area. She e-mailed cover letters to dozens of potential employers and attached her resume to each one. Two weeks later, Catherine was dismayed and bewildered that she had not received even one request for an interview. Finally she received a message from a prospective employer that explained the reason she hadn't heard from anyone else. It read: "Your resume was not attached as stated. I do, however, want to thank you for the lasagna recipe."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you
» Waterfalls of the World


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Do-Not-Call Registry 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 25

Thanks, Miriam!

Sorry about the late delivery. Telus, the ISP, had a major
malfunction. With the phone on speaker, I listened for 
hours to their crappy elevator music and: 
"Pwease continue to houd foa the nepst avaiwable tservif
repwesentative."

Considering the length of time on hold, their problem must
be awefully wide spread. 
Finally got through to "the nepst avaiwable tservif
repwesentative". They do have a major station f***-up
and it may take a few days to get stuff replaced. 
Crawling onto the server with Dial-Up now.


>From Papa Hank
My Dear Webby,
Do you have to remind us in Syracuse, NY about the white 
stuff that's coming!! Fortunately Your humor is great enough 
to overcome the trama of future falling snow.
I especially liked the comment on James K. Lowery, The 
peeping tom.I'd great to hear that he was "tenderized"
Keep the humor coming.
Papa Hank

Dear Papa Hank
You don't have to worry about that.
Remember, YOU got Gullible Warming, 
plus all the hot air from Washington.
If you get any snow at all, complain to Al Gore.

By the way, if you DO happen to have a bit of CO2 to spare,
send it up to us, please! Our farms and forests desperately 
need it. We call it vegetation fuel. 

That is why I drive a 1991 Chrysler LeBaron muscle car.

I got out of my driveway OK today. I pulled ahead in the 
garage as far as I could, fanned the gas to get the turbo
up to speed, then slammed it into reverse and stomped the 
gas. As I was laying rubber from squealing tires, I hit the 
garage door remote and kept the foot down on the gas.

I hit the snow  drift going about 40 in reverse and plowed
right through it. Once through it, I hit the brake, turned 
the steering wheel and skidded onto the hard-packed snow
on the road. I wound up against the sidewalk on the other 
side, but not on it. From there on everything was easy.
Have FUN!
Dear Webby


Donald Trump's laughable $5 million offer today to charity, 
IF President Barak Hussein Obama can produce a 
believable birth certificate and college record, can't change 
the fact that the purported billionaire is one incredibly 
cheap bastard:
Details at The Smoking Gun
Obviously Obama can't produce those records, so Trump
can keep the money and does not have to donate it to charity.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1415 Battle of Agincourt, Welsh longbow defeats the armored knight 
1854 The Light Brigade charges (Battle of Balaklava, Crimean War) 
1918 Canadian steamship "Princess Sophia" hit a reef off 
  Alaska, 398 die
1944 Japanese navy defeated at battle of Leyte Gulf
1945 Japanese surrender Taiwan to Gen Chiang Kai-shek
1960 1st electronic wrist watch placed on sale, NYC
1975 USSR's Venera 10 makes day-side Venus landing 
1983 US invades Grenada, a country 1/2,000 its population (US Wins!) 
1985 Kosmos 1700 communications satellite placed in geostationary orbit
1986 International Red Cross ousted from South Africa
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. --- Dorothy Parker
A woman calls the town psychiatrist and cries, "Doctor, you've got to come as soon as possible. My husband is in really bad shape!" The shrink rushes over. The worried wife says, "Thank God you are here, doctor. Just go down the hall. He's in the last room on the right." The shrink goes in the room and sees the woman's husband sitting on the edge of the bathtub, dangling a fishline in the toilet. He goes back to the wife and says, "Yes, this is very serious. But why didn't you call me sooner?" "Who has time?" the wife asks. "I've been cleaning fish all week."
The judged looked at the docket and said, "Good God, man! You're charged with marrying six women. How could you do such a thing?" "Hey, judge, gimme a break," the man replied. "I was only trying to find one good one."
Eating For Energy - The Ultimate Energy Diet If you want to jump out of bed and soar through your days with boundless energy, avoid that dreaded afternoon lull, create a slim body that is resistant to disease, and have a much easier time incorporating healthy and delicious foods into your diet, then this will be the most important message you ever read. Start Eating for Energy!

Thanks to Mike in Indiana for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to David Lee, 44, Jacksonville, Florida Jailed After Stealing Plastic Flowers From Grave Site, That He Planned To Give To His Girlfriend Reported by The Weekly Vice David Lee, a 44-year-old Jacksonville man was jailed Sunday after he allegedly stole flowers from a grave site that he planned to give to his girlfriend. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, a deputy stopped Lee shortly after 6:00 p.m. as he was walking out of the Evergreen Cemetery. He was carrying three plastic flower bouquets, with fresh soil falling from the bottom of them. He also appeared to be intoxicated. Investigators say when the officer asked Lee where he got the fake flowers, he admitted that they were planted next to a tombstone, but he dug them up. He told the officer that he was planning on giving the flowers to his alleged girlfriend, and that he did not know the deceased person from which he stole the flowers. Lee was booked into the Duval County Jail and charged with a felony count of injuring or removing plants from a gravestone, monument, or tomb.
Tech Support Pits From: Honor Re: Do Not Call registry Dear Webby, Do you happen to have among your famous facts, the information I need to get on the 'don't call, don't email' list? I've moved fairly recently and haven't gotten signed up for that on my new numbers and addresses. I hope it isn't too late to do this! I always read your tips...don't always understand them... but some I just print off for future reference, like after I'm smarter! Thanks for all you do for your subscribers! Honor Dear Honor The DO-NOT-CALL registry is at https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx There is no Do-NOT-EMAIL registry. Just use MailWasher from the side of the Humor Letter, and nuke the mail from the bastids, like most of us do. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Nail Brushes for Cleaning Small Spaces I rarely use a nail brush to clean under my nails, as I use the end of a nail file, so I have a small collection of nail brushes I've saved from gift sets (frugal people save anything they think they will eventually find a use for). I keep a couple of them by the sink in the laundry room and have found they are great for scrubbing small spaces - a little larger than an old toothbrush and smaller than a traditional scrub brush. They have come in handy time and time again. By Marie from West Dundee, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants -- one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself -- that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim -- "Yale." "That's very good ... excellent. You're hired!" "Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care... Yim... or Mr. Yonson."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ ea.--three for a dollar." All day long, customers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!" Meekly the grocer capitulated and packaged four eggplants. The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?" "What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one eggplant."
» Chupacabra, Myth, Mystery or Misery


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Digital Post-It-Notes 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 24

Wednesday is my bread run day. I hope the snow drifts between
the garage and the road don't get any higher. I think I can just punch
through them.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
3963 -BC- Origin of Hevelius' Mundane Era
1648 Peace of Westphalia ends 30 year war and Holy Roman Empire
1795 3rd partition of Poland, between Austria, Prussia & Russia
1836 The match is patented 
1861 1st transcontinental telegram sent ending the Pony Express
1871 Mob in LA hangs 18 Chinese 
1935 Italy invades Ethiopia
1939 Nylon stockings go on sale for 1st time
1940 Japan eliminates US terms (strike, play ball) from baseball 
1952 Arab Liberation Movement becomes the only party of Syria
1984 11 members of the Colombo crime family arrested 
1989 Rev Jim Bakker is sentenced to 50 years for fraud 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"I may not be a lion, but I am a lion's cub, and I have a lion's heart" --- Elizabeth I "The government issued a safety recall today on 800,000 Bowflex exercise machines. The good news: No one was hurt, because no one ever actually used a Bowflex." --- Jay Leno If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going. --- Professor Irwin Corey
>From David My mother once gave me two sweaters for Christmas. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"
An elephant ran away from a zoo one day and ended up in a little old lady's back garden. The old lady had never seen an elephant before so she called the police. "There's a strange looking animal in my back garden picking up cabbages with its tail" she said to the policeman. "What's it doing with them"? "If I told you" said the old lady, "you'd never believe me!"
Back by popular demand!
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Click on the picture for the large version
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Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to James K. Lowery, 60, Jacksonville, Florida Receives Street Justice From Girl's Father After he Is Caught Peeping On Girl Reported by The Weekly Vice James K. Lowery, a 60-year-old Jacksonville man was jailed Sunday after he allegedly peeped through his neighbor's window and stared at their 15-year-old daughter. The father confronted Lowery and tenderized him until police arrived at the scene. According to the Duval County Sheriff's Office, the 15-year old girl called 911 to report that her father was restraining a man that was caught peeping at her through their living room window. The victims told police that someone had been on their property peeping around their windows on several occasions recently. The father found evidence that someone had tampered with the home's window trim and screens. When detectives asked Lowery what he was doing at the residence, he had no explanation, but admitted going there on his own will, even after consuming an entire bottle of wine. Property records show Lowery lives near the victims. He is employed as the chief engineer for channel 4 in Jacksonville. Lowery was booked into the Duval County Jail and charged with trespassing with intent to commit an offense, public intoxication, and resisting an officer without violence.
Tech Support Pits From: Angie Re: Post-It Notes Dear Webby, I had to laugh about your comments about the W8 mouse. You suggested probably once a year to glue some cardboard over that silly touch pad, and this is the third laptop, where I have done that before turning it on the first time. I sure don't want to have to glue some cardboard on top of the mouse!!! Today's question: Is there some program like the 3M Posti-It Notes for the computer? Angie Dear Angie Yes, 3M does have a computer version of their post-it notes. http://www.3m.com/us/office/postit/digi ... notes.html I have used them for many years and find them even handier than the paper version. You can paste text and pictures into them, even links that work by double clicking them, you can drag them into spreadsheets and word processors, and you can set alarms so that they hide until the set date and time comes around. It costs $10, but eventually you will probably get fed up with the free clones and get that one. To avoid the confusion at 3M, here is a link right into their shopping cart: http://snipurl.com/3mpostit There is a Lite version at http://post-it-notes-lite.en.softonic.com/download that seems to be a cracked older version. It is free, but they try to foist weird search engines and tool bars on you. You CAN decline that stuff, but you have to be very alert during the installation. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Coke Tab to Hang a Picture If you get a photo frame and there is no hook on the back, using a screw attach the Coke tab to the back of your frame. Then hang your picture! By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario ---------- If the back is just cardboard or very thin sawdust board, glue the pull tab on with Goop or any all- purpose household glue. Measure and mark where you want the RING to be, not the tab, and then outline the ring and tab with a felt marker, before applying the glue. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

During his freshman year, Steve couldn't get home for Christmas. So he sent his father a set of inexpensive cuff links and a note reading: "Dear Dad, This is not much, but it's all you could afford."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Scotsman is visiting a zoo in Edinburgh for the first time. At one cage, he's entranced by what he sees. "An whut animal would that be?" he asks the keeper. "That's a moose from Canada," the zookeeper replies. "A moose?!?" exclaims the Scotsman. "Hoot, mon. They must have rats like elephants over there."
» Awsome Pumpkins


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Windows 8 mouse 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 23

Yes, I know, Ezinefinder is down again.
I have written to them. That is all I can do.
They are Mac Users and do not respond to problem reports,
because they consider those to be attacks on their cult.

Like Harley riders or Muslims, they do plenty of bitching
about their system amongst themselves, but if an outsider
mentions something, that is not complimentary, they get 
into a big snit in a hurry. 

If you write to them, be extra polite and as brief as possible.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1790 Slaves revolt in Haiti (later suppressed) 
1805 Sailing ship "Aeneus" sinks off Newfoundland killing 340 
1915 25,000 women march in NYC, demanding right to vote 
1942 During WW II, Britain launches major offensive 
   at El Alamein, Egypt
1944 Soviet army invades Hungary 
1954 Canada, England, France & USSR agree to end occupation 
  of Germany 
1956 1st video recording on magnetic tape televised coast-to-coast
1956 Hungarian Revolution began 
1958 USSR lends money to UAR to build Aswan High Dam 
1970 Gary Gabelich sets auto speed record 622.4 mph (1,002 kph) 
1983 Suicide terrorist truck bomb kills 243 US personnel in Beirut 
1990 Iraq announces release of 330 French hostages
1991 Dr Jack Kevorkian's suicide machine kills 2 women 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. --- Ambrose Bierce I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. --- Wilson Mizner The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. --- Art Spander
>From Richi Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That's funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'The three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading "Ali baba and the Forty Thieves"!
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
Back by popular demand!
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Click on the picture for the large version
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Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Sheila Eubank, 48, in San Antonio, Texas Woman Admits To Making Up Kidnapping Story To Get A Day Off Work Reported by The Weekly Vice Sheila Eubank, a 48-year-old San Antonio woman was jailed Wednesday after she pretended to have been kidnapped to get a day off from work and a little attention. According to San Antonio police, on October 10th, an officer reportedly found Eubanks laying motionless in her vehicle, bound with a rope. Eubanks allegedly told the officer that she had been kidnapped by an anonymous knife-wielding man, who jumped into her car and forced her to drive to an ATM machine to withdraw her money. The man then forced her to drive him around for 12 hours while he conducted alleged drug deals. Investigators say detectives found inconsistencies with Eubank's story, especially when they found a lottery ticket in her purse that had been purchased at around the same time she was being held by a kidnapper, according to her story. Detectives checked surveillance video from the store that sold the lottery ticket and saw Eubanks purchasing a lottery ticket by herself. She was seen in the video being polite and calm. She did not appear to be distressed or anxious, according to police. Confronted with the evidence police had, Eubanks admitted to making up the entire kidnapping story. She stated that she made up the story in order to get a day off work and a little attention. Eubank was booked into the Bexar County Jail and charged with aggravated perjury. Her bond was set at $10,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Alex Re: Windows8 Mouse Dear Webby, I read that there is a new Windows 7-8 mouse, that has a touch pad built into it's top. Is it worth it's rather steep cost? Alex Dear Alex That W8 mouse just adds even more frustration, and you would probably heave it into the trash in the first hour. Just like the touch pad below the keyboard, it is a half-baked idea, nice in theory, but rather useless for fast work. You are much better off with a standard 5 or 7 button Laser or LED mouse. As long as you got Left and Right click, Copy, Paste, Enter, you canget work done. For spreadsheets #6 and #7 (left and right scroll) are handy, but you can live quite happily without those two. I would recommend saving your money and not get any W8 gadgets just yet. Let them work out the bugs in W8 first. They are still fixing serious bugs in W7. No point in rushing into an unfinished W8. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Coke Tab to Hang a Picture If you get a photo frame and there is no hook on the back, using a screw attach the Coke tab to the back of your frame. Then hang your picture! By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario ---------- If the back is just cardboard or very thin sawdust board, glue the pull tab on with Goop or any all- purpose household glue. Measure and mark where you want the RING to be, not the tab, and then outline the ring and tab with a felt marker, before applying the glue. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them." Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled. Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged. The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again." The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. Finally, totally exhausted she stopped and sighed: "I'll need more power for this!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Cookie: Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.
» Pop Culture Quiz


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Jumbled typing 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 22

>From Dr Bill
regarding cleaning the tub - or any ceramic bathroom fixture - 
fill with water, drop in several alka-seltzer tablets - 
let sit overnight - (just one for the toilet) - learned this 
from summer camp maintenance man when our camp was 
the third in line - by August the facilities really needed it - 
so during the week ahead of the arrival of the kids, I was 
up there getting the swimming area and canoes ready when I 
caught the guy cleaning the facilities - works like a charm -
Bill


WASHINGTON (UPI) -- The U.S. government has offered a $50,000 
reward to whoever comes up with an effective means of blocking 
telephone "robocall" sales pitches. 

The Federal Trade Commission has been losing ground in the battle 
against automated phone calls and is looking for fresh ideas with its 
FTC Robocall Challenge. 

The winner will receive $50,000 plus a trip to Washington. 
The Robocall Challenge is open to U.S. citizens. Groups of as many 
as 10 will be eligible for the reward and the trip to the capital. 

Bunch of doughheads!
Nothing easier. As I have mentioned a number of times before,
listenjust long enough to note their1-800 number, if it is not
forged into the Call Display.

Take a few extra large pictures of you or a friend writing
a message about robo-calls into snow, with a yellow medium.
Then WinFax them to that 1-800 number, on auto-repeat.

Since all robo-calls, except those by the fire department, 
the gas company and the electrical company to notify you of 
planned outages, and emergency services, are illegal, the
dumb crooks can't complain to anybody.

Just don't use that trick on the fire department! They might 
hose you down at 4am!

Feel free to use that trick to compete for the $50,000.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1797 AndreJacques Garnerin makes 1st parachute jump from 
  balloon (Paris) 
1906 3000 blacks demonstrate & riot in Philadelphia
1936 1st commercial flight from mainland to Hawaii
1938 1st Xerox copy made 
1949 200 killed in train derailment near Nowy Dwor Poland 
1953 Laos gains full independence from France 
1954 West Germany joins North Atlantic Treaty Organization
1962 JFK imposes naval blockade on Cuba, beginning missile crisis 
1975 Soviet spacecraft Venera 9 soft-lands on Venus
1981 US national debt tops $1 trillion 
1991 General Motors announces 9 month loss of $2.2 billion 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. --- Kurt Vonnegut People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future. --- Socratex I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. --- Will Rogers "No matter how much money you make, you always need an extra $40 a week. I'm sure it was Einstein who first stated: Exp- ense equals salary plus forty bucks." --- Jeffrey Jena
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his whole series of injections, asked for a glass of water. "What's the matter, Mate?" asked the sick bay attendant. "Do you feel light-headed?" "No, just checking to see if I'm still watertight."
Back by popular demand!
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Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Katie Hightower, 26, Pawnee County, OK Charged With Having Sex With Student After Football Scrimmage Reported by The Weekly Vice Katie Hightower, a 26-year-old teacher at Prue High School was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a student. According to the Pawnee County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched after Hightower allegedly purchased beer for a group of students - then disappeared into a bedroom to have sexual intercourse with one of the students. Investigators say the incident began on August 16 when Hightower accompanied a group of high school students to and from a football scrimmage - sitting next to a 16-year-old male student during the trip. After the scrimmage, Hightower and three students went to Keystone Lake for about an hour. During the lake visit, two of the students saw Hightower lay her head in the student's lap and refer to him as "babe." Hightower then allegedly purchased beer for the students and then invited them to her home in Terlton. The students told deputies that they drank the beer at Hightower's house, but decided to leave when Hightower and the boy disappeared into a bedroom. The students then left when it became obvious that Hightower and the boy were having sexual intercourse. Although Hightower allegedly coached the two students not to talk about the incident, the students reported what they heard and saw to school officials. Investigators searched Hightower's phone and discovered hundreds of text messages that she exchanged with the student during a four week period. Hightower denied knowing that the student was at the lake or her house. The student denied being at Hightower's house. Both Hightower and the student denied having sexual intercourse. Hightower was booked into jail and charged with second-degree rape and furnishing alcohol to a person under 21.
Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Jumbled typing Dear Webby, I just got a Toshiba Laptop with Windows 7 and cannot do word processing without text being jumbled like crazy. It is frustrating. Help! Jerry Dear Jerry Since you are probably using a mouse anyway, cover that silly touch-pad with a piece of thin cardboard. That way your thumbs won't accidentally touch it and move stuff around. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Peanut Butter: It's easy to save money on peanut butter. Buy bulk, unsalted peanuts and grind in a blender. Add salt as needed. We get our peanuts for $1.25 lb. I like $2.50 for a big jar of peanut butter, rather than $7 a jar, don't you? By Davidicdancer from Spokane, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo, your country house caretaker." "Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?" "That's the one." "Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat." "Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?" "Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses." "Dead horse? What dead horse, Mr. Arnaldo?" "Why those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire." "What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for???" "For the funeral." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!" "Your mother-in-law's! She showed up one night, out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your Tiger Woods Nike Driver." SILENCE.................... "Arnaldo, if you broke that driver, you are fired!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Village Dry Cleaners has relocated to High Street, right next door to St. Joseph's Church. After November 1, Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness.'
» National Geo Best Aminal Photos


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Can't open the attachment 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 21

Winter Wonder Land!
Big snowflakes and just enough fog, so that everything has
an orange glow from the streetlights. Just like Christmas,
but thankfully without the ads on the radio.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
2137 -BC- 1st recorded total eclipse of the sun China
1520 Magellan entered the strait which bears his name
1553 Volumes of the Talmud are burned 
1805 Battle of Trafalgar, Adm Nelson defeats French & Spanish fleet & dies 
1915 1st transatlantic radiotelephone message, Arlington, Va to Paris 
1918 Margaret Owen sets world typing speed record of 170 wpm for 1 min 
1945 Women in France allowed to vote for 1st time
1950 Chinese forces occupy Tibet 
1967 Thousands opposing Vietnam War try to storm the Pentagon 
1988 Ferdinand & Imelda Marcos indicted on racketeering charges 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. --- Benjamin Franklin By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --- Socrates
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered. "How could you think I would forget?" Whereupon he left for the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolate and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful 'Hedge Hog Day' in all my life!"
Back by popular demand!
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Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Dawn Peel, 50, in St. Paul, MN Kissed Her Boyfriend On The Forehead, Then Tried To Saw His Head Off St. Paul, MN (The Weekly Vice) - Dawn Peel, a Reported by The Weekly Vice Dawn Peel, a 50-year-old Minnesota bonehead was jailed Monday after she allegedly gave her boyfriend a kiss, asked him if he loved her, then attempted to saw through his neck with a knife. According to police, officers were dispatched at 1:45 a.m. after the victim called 911 to report that he had been attacked by his girlfriend. The man had fled from his residence after his girlfriend used a knife to "cut at his neck like she was slaughtering a goat or a cow," according to the arrest report. The man told investigators that he was asleep on the couch when he awoke to find Peel kneeling over him. She then allegedly asked him if he loved her. When he answered "yes" she then kissed him on the forehead and said "this is the last time you'll see my eyes." That's when Peel allegedly put a knife to the victim's neck and began sawing back and forth in a vigorous manner. Investigators say the man was able to escape the slaughter, however he was bleeding heavily from the neck when police arrived on the scene. The man was taken to a local hospital where he received 23 staples in his neck to stop the bleeding. When officers arrived at the his house to question Peel, she answered the door completely naked. When officers asked how much alcohol she had been drinking, Peel answered "not enough." She was booked into the Ramsey County Jail and charged with attempted murder. Her bail has been set at $75,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Mail attachments won't open Dear Webby! Sometime I try to open a piece of mail. A window comes down saying to large for word pad to open. And asks if I want note pad to open it,if i say yes it opens in computer language. which I cant read. What can I do about this. I am 73 yrs old and am a novice at the computer Thank you Lee Dear Lee If you get weird stuff like that, trash it. Trash it without even trying to open it. It's just not worth the hassle. If it does not open normally, it is probably some virus or worm and could really make life difficult. So, when in doubt, trash it. There is plenty of normal mail that opens without hassle. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clean Bathtub with Powdered Dish Detergent: When your bathtub really gets grimy looking and the bathroom cleaners don't seem to be working, try a scrubby sponge and a bit of powder dish washer soap. It doesn't scratch, but it will get things super clean. By Lynn from WV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "Try Alka-Seltzer!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his father, "Dad, I hate to ask, but I need to borrow 200 dollars." At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line." The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!" "Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father. The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, But I can hear him perfectly clearly." The father says, "Good. YOU send him the money!"
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When you can't delete files 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 20



Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1600 Battle of Sekigahara sets Tokugawa clan as Japan's 
  rulers (shoguns) 
1803 US Senate ratifies the Louisiana Purchase
1813 German Kingdom of Westphalia abolished
1817 1st Mississippi showboat leaves Nashville on maiden voyage
1818 49th parallel established as the border between US & Canada
1818 US & Britain agree to joint control of Oregon country 
1905 Great General Strike in Russia begins; lasts 11 days
1906 Dr Lee DeForest demonstrates his radio tube
1930 British White Paper restricts Jews from buying Arab land 
1944 30 blocks of Cleveland OH burn after a liquid gas factory explodes
1956 58ų F (15ų C), Esperanza Station, Antarctica (Antarctic record high) 
1968 Jacqueline Kennedy marries Aristotle Onassis
1973 OPEC oil embargo begins 
1983 IBM-PC DOS Version 2.1 released 
1990 3 members of 2 Live Crew acquitted on obscenity charges in Florida 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. --- Bill Cosby Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves. --- J. B. Priestley Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. --- Doug Larson
These days, with all the emphasis on one's physical fitness, a new organization has sprung up called "Athletics Anonymous." When you get the urge to play golf, tennis, go power-walking or bicycle riding (or anything else involving a type of physical activity), they send someone over to watch TV with you until the urge passes.
How to Place New Employees in a Proper Department Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing. If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering. If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance. If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to Consulting. If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them. If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer Information Systems is their niche. If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for the Help Desk. If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into Purchasing. If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests, Public Relations would suit them well. If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical Documents team. If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security. If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing. If they are sleeping, they are Management material.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kendall Remsing, 35, in New Llano, La. Charged With Incest After He Was Shot In Face By 15-Year-Old Stepdaughter Reported by The Weekly Vice Kendall Remsing, a 35-year-old Louisiana bonehead was jailed Wednesday on incest charges after he was shot in the face by his 15-year-old-step daughter. According to the Vernon Parish Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched in late May after police received a 911 call stating that a 15-year-old girl had shot her stepfather in the face. Deputies who arrived on the scene took the girl into custody and charged her with attempted second-degree murder. Remsing was transported to Byrd Regional Hospital where he was stabilized and then flown to Rapides Regional Medical Center where he remains in stable, but critical condition. (Mug shot is from a previous arrest) During the investigation, however, Remsing was now been accused of molesting a juvenile family member. Additional evidence was gathered that corroborated the allegation, according to detectives. Remsing has been charged with aggravated incest and molestation of a juvenile. His bond has been set at $100,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Fred Re: Can't get rid of RealPlayer files AS Always---HELP!!! I downloaded some not bad, but stupid stuff to my Real PLayer--- Now I want to get rid of it. But when I send it to the trash I get this--- Cannot delete---Make sure Disk is not full or write protected or not in use???? I have completely removed Real Player from My PC, but the files are still on my desk top---I am attaching one--- Thanks. Fred Dear Fred Are you referring to Real Player program files, or to music and movies ? To get rid of realPlayer, you have to do it through the Program Manager or with the Secure Uninstaller, which gets rid of stuff that the Program Manager can't. In case you still have not got the Secure Uninstaller, it is still at http://webby.com/uninst Nowadays you pretty well need that, because so much stuff is too sneaky for the Program Manager. However, if you mean just music and movies, log on as Administrator and then dump them. If you were too lazy to save the files into a folder made for that purpose, and just littered them onto the desktop, then quite possibly they are "OWNED" by the Administrator, and can't be deleted by a mere User. If you have trouble logging on as administrator, save all openfiles, close all open programs, Hit SMD (Save My Desktop) and then rudely pull the plug. After plugging in again, Windows will ask you, if you want to start up in Safe Mode. In Safe Mode you are automatically the Administrator. As Administrator you can delete anything you want. Keep in mind that Safe Mode quite likely messes up your icon arrangement. That is why it is important to hit SMD before you do that. In some cases, uninstalling a program like RealPlayer with the Program Manager or Secure Uninstaller does not unlock the data files until you reboot. Real reboot, not just restart. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use an Empty Can as a Utensil Holder When Cooking: Here is what I use to prevent spilled mess on my counter when I am cooking. I usually use more than one utensil when I am cooking but never know where to place them during the cooking time as I am still using them. Well, since I usually use some type of canned goods with all my meals, I came up with the following idea. I rinse the can that I used, then I use it as a utensil holder while I am cooking. Once I am done cooking, I place the utensils in the sink, rinse the can again and recycle it. So it's kinda like recycling it twice. The bonus is that it saves a mess to clean off my counter or a plate. By tomnsaby from Albuquerque, NM Cans are too light and get knocked over too easily, plus they don't have space for ladles and flippers. I use a heavy Pyrex 1 liter measuring cup half full of water. Even with an assortment of wooden spoons and ladles it never gets knocked over. The water adds weight and keeps food from hardening on the utensils. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

The fourth-grade class was studying the development of the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased production costs. At the end of the unit, she gave a test including the question: "What did Henry Ford invent that made buying a car more affordable?" One of the brightest students in the class wrote: "0% financing."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a recent radio station appearance, "Uncle" Larry Reeb was asked, "Are you a college man?" He replied, "Nope. I stayed HOME and got drunk at home. I couldn't afford that $20,000 cover charge."
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Login Profile Error 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



During the evening, in the middle of work, suddenly the lights
went out. No warning blink, no brown blink, just click, gone.
All the street lights, as far as I could see, were out too.

The only lights still working were the solar lights on a bower
at my northern neighbor, and the solar Christmas lights from 
last year still on a tree in my southern neighbor's yard.

Fine, I figured, I'll sneak off for a nap! 
So as not to get too carried away, I flicked the switch for 
the big ceiling light in the bedroom.

I don't have time to sleep a lot, so when I do go horizontal,
I am sound asleep usually just about the time I pull a cover
over my shoulder. 

Fifteen minutes later I got woken up by the light and various
clicking and popping sounds as the power came back on, but
kept tripping the auto-reset town breakers. That is really 
hard on hard drives, but after four clicks the breakers held
and the power stayed on. So much for my nap.
Well, lots of work to do so I went bat to it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
125 -BC- Start of Era of Tyre 
1812 Napoleon begins his retreat from Moscow
1872 World's largest gold nugget (215 kg) found in New South Wales
1912 Tripoli (Libya) passes from Turkish to Italian control 
1933 Berlin Olympic Committee vote to introduce basketball in 1936 
1944 US forces land in Philipines
1950 UN forces entered Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea
1951 Pres Truman formally ends state of war with Germany
1960 The US imposes an embargo on exports to Cuba 
1967 Mariner 5 makes fly-by of Venus
1977 Supersonic Concorde jet's 1st landing in NYC
1987 US warships destroy 2 Iranian oil platforms in Persian Gulf 
1988 Senate passes bill curbing ads during children`s TV shows 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." --- Franklin P. Jones
>From Simon When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?" "We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him. "Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted. "Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped. "Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom."
>From Kim: In my job with a credit union, I often run across accounts that are protected by password. The credit-union member, when withdrawing funds, must produce identification and then give the password to the teller. Recently, when I asked a woman for her password, she sighed, rolled her eyes and replied, "SaveDagnabit." I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband used that password so I that I have to say it every time I make a withdrawal."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jennifer Wilcox, 36, Middletown, CT Charged With DUI After Drinking lots of Hand Sanitizer Reported by The Weekly Vice Jennifer Wilcox, a 36-year-old Connecticut woman was jailed for drunk driving Monday after she allegedly drank half a bottle of hand sanitizer. According to police, an officer had just pulled over another vehicle for a traffic infraction when a vehicle that was driven by Wilcox drove past the officer at a high rate of speed and ultimately lost control of her vehicle. The officer approached Wilcox and detected a strong odor of alcohol coming from her person. After failing a field sobriety test, Wilcox reportedly admitted to consuming half of a large bottle of hand sanitizer prior to getting behind the wheel. A typical bottle of hand sanitizer contains about 60% ethyl alcohol (or 120 proof). Drinking half of a large bottle of hand sanitizer would be equivalent to drinking 16 shots of vodka, according to experts. Poison control centers across the country are reporting a spike in the number of cases that involve teens who drink sanitizer as a means to achieve a stolen buzz. Mouthwash was abused in a similar manner until companies that manufactured the product lowered the alcohol content to discourage the practice. A blood alcohol test later revealed that Wilcox was intoxicated at more than twice the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle. Wilcox was booked into jail and charged with DUI. She was released after posting a $500 bond.
Tech Support Pits :From: Lynne Re: Logon Profile Error I cannot access my laptop computer under myself. Only thru the guest port. The error message is "The user profile service service has failed the login. User profile cannot be loaded. What I did just before this happened this morning was to go onto my desktop to remove some old icons. Each time the message came up saying that removal of this icon will not remove it from the computer. Can you direct me to a source that can help me? I am typing this from the "guest" port. Not sure you will get this. I am away from home for 6 more weeks, so I don't have my desktop to help. Lynne Dear Lynne I found this info at Microsoft: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/947215 I hope that helps! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Laundry Detergent Caps For Bathroom Organizing The house I live in does laundry a lot. And, they didn't recycle till I showed them the error of their ways. So, instead of tossing these in the bin, I put them to good use. Here is an example of the things you can do with these wonderful lids! Can you think of about a bazillion more? By Poor But Proud from Sweet Home, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Newly wed Angus McKenzie comes in to the room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity, replies, "Does that mean that you are taking me with you, darling?" Angus replies, "No. I'm turning the off the heat." -------------- I would not be surprised if she comes over here to borrow a bible or warm up a bit.
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Humor: Diskette Error 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 18

>From Dr Bill
Re the Ass in the Well - similar tale I used when teaching 
History at Syracuse U. An apocryphal story:  
"Thales, the father of philosophy, postulating all matter 
as consisting of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water,  was getting 
along in years and his vision had gone bad.  One foggy 
night on Miletus, his donkey escaped.  

Grumbling, Thales threw on his grey philosopher's coat 
and went out into the mist calling for his donkey.  
A grey shape loomed before him and he dove at it - 
plunging himself accidentally into his well.  

Cold and Wet, he shouted until his Thracian maid found him 
and got him out - he returned shivering to his home,
blaspheming the Gods - 

This is a noteworthy event in History, in that it is the first 
recorded instance, though by no means the last, 
when a Philosopher didn't know 
his Ass from a hole in the ground."

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1016 Danes defeat Saxons at Battle of Assandun (Ashingdon)
1648 1st US labor organization forms (Boston Shoemakers)
1685 Louis XIV revokes Edict of Nantes, outlaws Protestantism 
1767 Boundary between Md & Pa, the Mason Dixon line, agreed upon 
1867 US takes formal possession of Alaska from Russia ($7.2 million) 
1890 John Owen is 1st to run 100 yd dash in under 10 seconds
1898 American flag raised in Puerto Rico
1908 Belgium annexes Congo Free State 
1944 Soviet troops invade Czechoslovakia during WW II
1962 US launches Ranger 5 for lunar impact; misses Moon
1967 Soviet Venera 4 1st probe to send data back from Venus
1968 Police find 219 grams of cannabis resin in John & Yoko's apt
1979 "Beatlemania" opens in London
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Language is the source of misunderstandings. --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. --- Dandemis A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. --- Fats Domino
To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay. "Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?" The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years ago!"
At a posh dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about his home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children." As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable." Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: "What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable." As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, "That is, my wife, she is impregnable!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brenda Crosdale, 49, Vero Beach, Florida Woman Locked Out Of Car Called 911, Claimed Infant Was Trapped Inside To Get Quicker Response Reported by The Smoking Gun Locked out of her car earlier this month, Brenda Crosdale, 49, called 911 and claimed that an infant was trapped in the vehicle. But when a sheriff’s deputy responded to a “priority one lockout” at Crosdale’s Florida home at around 9 AM on October 6, he “saw no child” inside vehicles parked in the driveway. When Deputy Michael Cavanaugh asked a male on scene about the whereabouts of the infant, the man replied, “Brenda only said that to get you guys here quicker. The deputy then questioned Crosdale inside her Vero Beach home, and “she stated she only said a child was inside her vehicle to get the vehicle open quicker,” according to an Indian River County Sheriff's Office report. Crosdale, a nurse, was then arrested for misuse of the 911 system. Pictured in the above mug shot, Crosdale was briefly booked into jail, where she was released after posting $500 bond on the misdemeanor count. The report did not say whether the deputy busted open the childless car, or made her call a locksmith.
Tech Support Pits :From: Diana Re: Diskette error Dear Webby All of a sudden when I turn on my computer in the morning, a message pops up saying diskette drive failure When I press F1 it starts up ok. I do not have a floppy disk. What is the message and how do I correct it? I know if anybody can answer me, you can. Thanks loads for your newsletter, Diana Dear Diana Sounds like your machine got infected with a really ancient virus. Run a GOOD virus scan, like McAfee, and after that reboot and look VERY carefully for a very brief message during boot-up, before you get color. It will tell you something like F12 for Bios Whatever it is, hit that immediately, before you get color. You may have to shut down and try again. Once you are in the BIOS, you can disable the Floppy drive, and set the boot-up priorities to D: (CD) USB C:\ That way, you can boot up, if necessary, with the Set-Up CD or a rescue set-up on a thumb drive. You can even have a Penguin (Linux fanatic) put "Baby Linux" onto a camera chip and boot up into Linux to salvage data, if Windows gets totally trashed by some virus. It will look for those first, and if those are not there, then it will go for the C: drive. If you try to save 2 seconds of boot-up time and put C: first, the rescue drives are not in the queue. If you have trouble reading that grey on black message, get some kid to watch it. A lot of adults have trouble reading it. Once you got it and know which key to hit to get into the bios, you can put a dot of nail polish onto that F key. A lot of machines even have a setting in the Bios, where you can tell it how long to display that message. Smart-ass kids often shorten that time to 1 or zero, and brag about having tuned the machine to start up 3 seconds faster. If you have a crimson dot on F12 or whatever it is for your machine, that is no problem. In summary: Take A: and B: out of the start-up drive list, and if USB is in the list, make sure something is plugged into the USB port. A camera chip reader works fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Your Leaves As Winter Mulch Have you mulched your leaves yet? After spending years raking up those fall leaves, I got pretty tired of having a second set of leaves fall from the Oak trees. I decided to make short work of the job by using my mulch mower and ran the mower over the leaves, which mulched them all and enriched my lawn happily at the same time. The lawn may not be as neat and tidy, but it sure will be happy having all that extra fertilizer on it, and it will be even happier next spring, and so too will you! Go mulch those leaves! Source: Gardeners around the globe By Kghornsten from Davis, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>From Ed Our church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and my wife, Florence, agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, my wife replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats."
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How can I fix Error 646 (bug in the bug fix) 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1492 Columbus sights isle of San Salvador (Watling Island, Bahamas) 
1829 Delaware River & Chesapeake Bay Canal formally opened
1855 Bessemer steelmaking process patented
1918 Yugoslavia proclaims itself a republic 
1931 Al Capone convicted of tax evasion, sentenced to 11 years in prison
1933 Albert Einstein arrives in the US, a refugee from Nazi Germany
1956 England's 1st large scale nuclear power station opens 
1961 NY Museum of Modern Art hung Henri Matisse's "Le Bateau" 
upside-down, It wasn't corrected until December 3rd 
1973 5-mo oil embargo by Arab states against US & Netherlands begins 
1977 Canada begins regular live TV coverage of Parliament 
1977 West German commandos storm hijacked Lufthansa in Mogadishu, 
Somalia freeing all 86 hostages & killing 3 of the 4 hijackers 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. --- Abba Eban "If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability." --- Henry Ford
Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they cost ?" he asked the salesperson. "That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000." "Let's see the $2.00 model," said Morris the miser. The salesperson put the device around Morris' neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed. "How does it work?" , asked Morris. "For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"
Two salesmen were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two salesmen at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut. But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut. Convinced one of these rude salesmen was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson. Just then, one of the salesmen said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."
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Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Ashley Stewart, 24, Streetsboro, OH Charged With DUI After Speeding Down Wrong Side Of Highway Reported by The Weekly Vice Ashley Stewart, a 24-year-old Ohio woman was charged with drunk driving Saturday after she was caught speeding the wrong direction down a freeway at 3:17 in the morning. According to Streetsboro police, officers were dispatched after receiving a report that a vehicle was traveling eastbound on the westbound side of I-480. Investigators say officers activated lights and sirens after catching up to Stewart's vehicle as it continued down the wrong side of the highway. Stewart allegedly ignored officers' attempts to stop her as the chase reached speeds of up to 80 miles per hour. The chase was finally brought to an end on State Route 41 near Shady Lake Drive when an officer pulled in front of Stewart's vehicle and forced her to stop. Stewart then refused to submit to a breathalyzer test at the scene. She was booked into jail and charged with failure to comply with the signal of a police officer and operating a vehicle while intoxicated.
Tech Support Pits :From: Rndall Re: Windows bugfix error 646 Dear Webby, For the last week or so i have been getting a update warning to update my laptop.So I click on the update button and it goes out to the update screen but then i get code 646 warning. the update didn't take effect. some kind of security update. And the update warning is still showing. I looked into the help and support queries but that is no help...I know you have the answer i am looking for ...love your news and jokes..keep up the great work...have a good week. Radall Dear Randall Do you have an HP (or Compaq or eMachines) laptop? 646 is a bug in the bugfix. A fix for buggy bugfix is at http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2258121 Microsoft says that might possibly work. If it doesn't, they say you can try re-installing Microsoft Office and wait for the next update in November. They will get organized really soon, they hope. Personally, if you have McAfee running, then there is no need to panic. It will catch anybody trying to get in through the holes in Office. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Eggs: Until a good friend shared this tip with me, I did not know that fresh eggs can be whisked together and frozen for up to six months. I have been doing this for over a year now. I buy large eggs when they are on sale in the 18 pack cartons. I keep out about six for use in the fridge and then whisk together whites and yolks of the remaining 12 eggs until just combined. I then measure them into my ice ice-cube trays, using 3 Tbsp. of the mixture per segment (3 Tbsp. is equivalent to 1 large egg). Freeze until solid, then transfer cubes to a freezer bag for up to 6 months. Don't forget to date the freezer bag. When ready to use take out one or more and thaw in the refrigerator. By Bobbie G from Rockwall, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The animal cried pitifully for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided that the donkey was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the animal. He invited all his neighbors to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well and was astonished; with every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up! Enough of that! The donkey later came back and kicked the last three meals out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. Moral: When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to get you.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Jewish men are on a train across Poland, each on his way to meet a prospective bride on the other side of the country. Halfway there, the first turns to the second and says, "Forget about this whole marriage thing. I just don't like the idea." So he gets off at the next stop and makes his way back home. Meanwhile, the second man continues on and is met at the final destination by the mothers of the two prospective brides. When the mothers realize what has happened, they instantly begin to fight over whose daughter should wed this precious man. "He's mine!" cries one. "Not on your life," cries the other, "He will marry my daughter!" After bickering for a while, the man and the two mothers decide to go the local rabbi and ask him to resolve the situation. In the grand tradition of the ancients, the rabbi replies, "Well, there is only one solution to this problem. Cut the boy in half, and you each take half home with you." At this, the first mother looks shocked, while the second mother grins and cries emphatically, "Yah! Cut him in half!!" The rabbi points to the second mother and says, "THAT is the real mother-in-law. Case closed."
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Internet Explorer stuck on 404 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 16

I was trying to find a name and mug shot of a Bus driver in
New Berlin, Wisconsin, but their local media plastered 
pictures and name and address of her victim all over, but
frantically protected the evil driver,
who is now sorry, that she lost her job.

I did find out the first name of the bus driver: Carol
She did not like the fact, tht a 12 year old kid was not
an Obama fan like her, and told him that his mother
should have chosen abortion for him.

To say that to a 12 year old kid is deep down evil, 
and the school bus company fired her. However,
to issue a Bonehead Award I need a picture and
full name.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1775 Portland, Maine burned by British
1781 Washington takes Yorktown 
1876 Race riot at Cainhoy SC (5 whites & 1 black killed) 
1923 Disney Co founded 
1925 Texas School Board prohibits teaching of evolution
1926 Troop ship sinks in Yangtze River, killing 1,200 
1941 Germany advances within 60 miles (96 K) of Moscow
1946 10 Nazi leaders hanged as war criminals after Nuremberg trials
1962 Cuban missile crisis began as JFK becomes aware of missiles in Cuba 
1964 Brezhnev & Kosygin replace Krushchev as head of Russia
1964 China becomes world's 5th nuclear power 
1978 Polish Cardinal Karol Wojtyla elected pope-John Paul II 
1985 Intel introduces 32-bit 80386 microcomputer chip 
1990 US forces reach 200,000 in the Persian Gulf 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. --- Errol Flynn Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise. --- Bertrand Russell There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey. --- John Ruskin
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?" "You're dumber then buffalo pies. Someone stole tent."
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Nicole Boover, 19, New Orleans, Louisiana Nathan Yuhas, 18, New Orleans, Louisiana She Wanted Her $500,000 Inheritance Now Attempts To Shoot Mother Dead Reported by The Weekly Vice Louisiana State University students Nicole Boover, 19, and Nathan Yuhas, 18, were jailed Monday after Boover allegedly agreed to pay Yuhas $50,000 to assist her in murdering her own mother. Boover, police say, was after a $500,000 inheritance which she planned to receive from her mother's death. According to New Orleans police, Boover planned to shoot her mother and then profit from her mother's death. She offered to give Yuhas a $50,000 cut of her inheritance if he would help with the murder plot. Boover and Yuhas purchased gloves, duct tape, and a "Scream" styled Halloween mask in preparation for the shooting. Investigators say Boover knocked on her mother's apartment door at around 4:30 a.m. and smiled innocently through the door's peep hole. When Boover's mother opened the door, she saw Boover pointing a gun at her. Mrs. Boover slammed the door shut as Boover fired three shots into the door. Boover fled the scene with Yuhas and drove back to the LSU campus. Boover's step-father called police and reported the incident. Officers found Boover's car on the LSU campus, with Yuhas sitting inside of it. Boover was found in her dorm room. Both suspects were apprehended. Boover was booked into the New Orleans Parish Prison and charged with attempted first-degree murder. She is currently being held in lieu of a $500,000 bond. She was unable to afford a lawyer, and was assigned a public defender. Yuhas was booked into the New Orleans Parish Prison and charged with being a principal to attempted first-degree murder. He was released after posting $100,000 bond.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits :From: Mary Lou Re: Internet Explorer stuck on 404 Dear Webby, I am having trouble gettig my "Internet Explorer" to perform it's duty. How can I get it back on track? When I try to open it, i tells me it canot display the web site/page. Did I ask you this once befor? Please excuse me if I am repeating a request, but you are so brilliant, I thought I'd ask in case I failed to conact your expertise. ML Dear Mary Lou Somehow your start / home page got changed to some weird address, that is no longer available. When it gives you that error message, type into the address bar: http://webby.com/humor After that it should be OK again. You might also have to edit the start / home page, and put an address in there, that will be guaranteed working, like the address of the Humor Letter. Quite likely you installed some flakey program, that put their own site as your start / home page into Internet Explorer, but because they are so flakey, they got shut down, and since then you get a 404 (page not found). Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Smash Nuts for Baking: Do you ever need finely crushed nuts in your recipe, but only have whole walnuts in your cupboard? No problem! An easy way I discovered to crush the nuts is to place them on a large sheet of wax paper, fold the wax paper over the top of the nuts and use a rolling pin to crush the nuts, pushing down and rolling. No mess, no fuss, and easy! By Linn from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Two fathers-to-be met in the maternity waiting room. "Can you believe this? The first day of our vacation, and she goes into labor!" The second one looks at the first and says, "What do you have to complain about? This is our honeymoon!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH can stand for O as in Dough If PHTH can stand for T as in Phthisis If EIGH can stand for A as in Neighbor If TTE can stand for T as in Gazette If EAU can stand for O as in Plateau Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: "GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU"
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How to make an icon for a favorite web site? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 14

Usually the weather warms up nicely in the second half of
October. This year that has started right after the snow 
earlier this week. 

On my walk I checked the fruit and veggie stands. Sometimes 
they lower their prices on Saturday evening, so that they 
don't have to pack up or toss stuff, that has been out for 
a while.

Fruit was out of my budget, but I managed to get three
cobs of corn for a dollar! It was tempting to head straight
home after that, but I did complete a 3 mile round. Not
as good as the 4-mile route, but good enough.
The first of those cobs sure tasted great!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1066 Battle of Hastings, in which William the Conqueror wins England 
1586 Mary Queen of Scots goes on trial for conspiracy against Elizabeth 
1834 1st black to obtain a US patent, Henry Blair, for a corn planter 
1884 George Eastman patents paper-strip photographic film 
1922 1st automated telephones-Pennsylvania exchange in NYC 
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel commits suicide rather 
   than face trial for his part in an attempt to overthrow Hitler  
1947 Chuck Yeager in Bell XS-1 makes 1st American supersonic 
   flight (Mach 1.015) 
1949 14 US Communist Party leaders convicted of sedition
1950 Rev Sun Young Moon liberated from Hung Nam prison 
1953 Ike promises to fire as Red any federal worker taking 5th amendment 
1969 Race riots in Springfield Mass
1971 2 killed in Memphis racial disturbances 
1982 6,000 Unification church couples wed in Korea
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All speaking is public speaking whether it's to one person or a thousand. --- Roger Love It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err. --- Mahatma Gandhi Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. --- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)
A new forestry graduate receives his first 5-year posting way out in the middle of a huge forest with no people around for miles. Much to his surprise, included in the survival gear that they give him, is a recipe for matzo balls. When he asks why he's receiving a matzo ball recipe, he is told, "Sometime, a few years down the road when the solitude *really* starts to get to you, you'll pull out this matzo ball recipe and start to mix it together. "Within five minutes you'll have a half a dozen Jewish women hovering over you telling you what you are doing wrong!" -------------- Hmmm, maybe I should try that. There must be lots of matzo ball recipes on the web. But first I am going to have to shoot some matzos!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Betsian Penaloza, 34, in San Juan, Puerto Rico Fatty The Maneater - Charged With Pimping Out Teen Daughter For $500 Reported in The Weekly Vice Betsian Penaloza, a 34-year-old Puerto Rico woman has been jailed after she allegedly pimped out her 14-year-old daughter for $500. According to federal authorities, Penaloza offered to sell her own 14-year-old daughter and two other underage girls to an undercover federal agent during a human trafficking investigation in Puerto Rico. Investigators say Penaloza brought her daughter and two other girls to the Sheraton Hotel at the San Juan Convention Center for the planned sexual encounter. Penaloza allegedly demanded $500 for sex with her daughter and $250 for each of the other two girls. Penaloza, who goes by the nickname "Fatty the Maneater," is also accused of prostituting other young girls and may face additional charges as the investigation continues. A list of charges was not immediately available. Penaloza remains in jail pending her initial hearing.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Lynn Re: MSIE Link Dear Webby, How can I put a link to a website that I use a *lot* in the Int. Explorer toolbar? I tried dragging the URL into a blank spot in the toolbar, but it didn't work (That's the way I do it in Firefox which I use most of the time; but this one particular website will only work correctly in Internet Explorer.) Thanks for any help you can give; love your humor letter! --Lynn Dear Lynn With IE the easiest way is to drag the icon from the address bar onto a blank spot on the desktop or drop it onto a desktop folder. You CAN enable links in the top bar, and drag it to there, but space there is limited, and if you narrow the window, those links are often hidden. Personally, I prefer the first method and have a few shortcuts to thematic folders along the left margin of the desktop. For example, a music folder, a graphics folder, etc. The reason for using shortcuts to folders, instead of desktop folders, is that you can change the icons for shortcuts, but all desktop folders look the same. In W7 that bug got fixed and you can change the icons for desktop folders. You can, of course just drag it onto the desktop, and leave it visible there for anybody who walks by. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Cake Mix Bag For Decorating: When I make cupcakes from a cake mix, I always save the bag. I rinse the bag out, dry it, clip a corner and insert a decorating tip inside. It makes a perfect disposable frosting bag and these bags are super strong. By norulesart from Sunny Florida Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

In Jerusalem, a CNN journalist heard about a very old man who had been to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, each day, for a long, long time, and so she decided to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a stupid wall."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution! These people Vote
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Windows can't open file 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 12



Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1483 Rabbi Issac Abarbanel starts his exegesis on the Bible
1860 1st aerial photo taken in US (from a balloon), Boston 
1919 Race riot at Elaine Arkansas 
1943 Italy declares war on former ally Germany
1953 Burglar alarm-ultrasonic or radio waves-patented-Samuel Bagno 
1964 Voskhod 1 crew returns
1987 1st military use of trained dolphins (US Navy in Persian Gulf) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward." --- George Carlin "If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing." --- Benjamin Franklin
The following is a quote from a director of sports infor- mation in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals: "We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."
"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Erica Hess, 24, in Daytona Beach, Florida Jailed After Toddler Daughter Found Walking On Roof Of Two Story Home Daytona Beach, Fla. Reported in The Weekly Vice Erica Hess, a 24-year-old Florida woman was jailed Tuesday after her toddler daughter was found walking on the roof of her two-story home. According to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched at around 10 a.m. after a witness called to report that a toddler was walking on the roof of a neighbor's home. Deputies arrived to find a dog on the roof and Hess's 2-year-old daughter standing on an adjacent deck dressed only in underwear. The deputy reportedly watched as the toddler tried to crawl back onto the roof through a barrier that surrounded the deck. The deputy made several verbal attempts to alert the homeowner of the impending danger while staying within sight of the child. Erica Hess reportedly came out onto the deck about 15 minutes later to remove the child. Hess told the deputy that she was unaware that her daughter had climbed onto the roof. She claimed to have had an unobstructed view of the child at all times, but later admitted to losing track of the child while using the bathroom. Hess was booked into the Volusia County Jail and charged with one count of child neglect. She has one previous arrest in Volusia County for driving on a suspended or cancelled license.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: RJR Re: eml Dear Webby, When I try to open certain emails that have the extension .eml I am getting the error box that says "this file does not have a program associated with it...etc." and to create one under settings, folder options. When I check there I do see EML already listed. Does this have something to do with AOL sent emails? I recently removed Earthlink, which is when I began seeing this error. Thanks for any ideas. Have a happy Thanksgiving. R. J. Dear RJ That's just a virus masquerading as an Outlook Depressed message. That is why some of us have called Outlook Depressed a "Virus Magnet" for many years. It opens that stuff! Turn on the settings for showing all extensions, even known ones, and for showing all hidden files. Probably that file was actually something like "password.eml.pif" but the second extension was hidden. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Water Plants With Leftover Tea Don't throw out your leftover tea. I nstead feed it to you indoor or outdoor plants for an extra boost. Use brewed unsweetened tea only. By Ivy from Rancho Palos Verdes Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?" "Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it." "I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?" "If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family." Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off. When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Bonnie I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue. "Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title, 'Your Highness'."
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Bolt to hold camera 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Woke up to a white wonderland. It had snowed overnight, 
and cooled off considerably. No chance of it melting before
I had to walk to the other end of town to see an optometrist.
My freezing ears remionded me that summer is definitely over,
and that there is no Gullible Warming in Alberta.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1285 180 Jews refuse baptism in Munich Germany, they are set on fire 
1492 Columbus arrives in the Bahamas; the real Columbus Day
1823 Charles Macintosh of Scotland begins selling raincoats (Macs)
1860 British & French troops capture Peking
1918 1st use of iron lung (Boston's Children Hospital) 
1933 John Dillinger escapes from the Allen County, OH, jail
1941 Russian govt moves from Moscow to Volga as Nazis close in on Moscow
1942 US navy defeats Japanese in WW II Battle of Cape Esperance 
1960 Nikita Khrushchev pounds his shoe at UN General Assembly session 
1977 Psychic Romark attempts to drive blindfolded, smashed into cop van 
1984 IRA bombs hotel where Margaret Thatcher is staying 
1988 Israel & China sign trade deal, plan diplomatic relations
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. --- Thomas Szasz
A rabbi was called to a Miami Beach Nursing Home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The rabbi sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "I guess." "Is she a good Jewish woman?" "I don't know for sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the rabbi. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the rabbi asked. "She can drive at night," the old man said
When the aged president of the company was out of town, half a dozen of his senior executives got together to plan some way to ease the old coot out of the driver's seat. To their horror, the executive VP's secretary buzzed him halfway through the meeting to inform him that the president had come back early and was on his way to see him. "If he catches us all here he'll know exactly what we're up to," cried the VP. "Quick, you five jump out the window!" "But we're on the thirteenth floor," protested the treasurer. "Jump!" yelled the VP. "This is no time for superstition!"
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Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Raymond Garcia, 45, Roswell, New Mexico Jailed After Getting Into Brawl With Stop Sign, Fighting Officers Reported in The Weekly Vice Raymond Garcia, a 45-year-old Roswell man was jailed Friday after he allegedly got into a fight with a stop sign, then attacked police officers who had been dispatched to break up the altercation. According to Roswell Police, officers dispatched to Main Street and West Deming at around 2:30 a.m. after a witness called 911 to report that a man was engaged in a fight with a stop sign, When officers arrived on the scene, Garcia became argumentative and attempted to flee. Two officers shot Garcia with Taser darts, however Garcia kicked and fought officers as they attempted to apprehend him. Officers attempted to use a Taser on Garcia a second time, however, he pulled the darts out and continued to resist. One officer attempted to use a baton to subdue him, however, Garcia reportedly grabbed the baton and swung it at officers. When officers tried to use pepper spray on Garcia, he wiped his face and ran away - throwing the baton at officers as he fled. Eventually, Garcia was tackled and subdued by three officers. Investigators believe that Garcia had used drugs prior to the incident, however, none were found on his person. The stop sign was not seriously injured in the attack. He was booked into the Chaves County Detention Center and charged with aggravated assault against a peace officer, disarming, and resisting arrest.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Maria Re: Camera bolt Dear Webby, I can't find that 1/4 inch by 20 bolt, that you specify for holding my camera. Is there a metric equivalent, that could be used? Thanks Maria Dear Maria If you force a similar metric bolt into that soft mounting hole, no tripod bolt will ever fit again. Not a good idea! You can probably find a cheap table-top tripod at a Dollar Store or at a camera store for under $10. Then just glue that onto your telescoping pole. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Water Plants With Leftover Tea Don't throw out your leftover tea. I nstead feed it to you indoor or outdoor plants for an extra boost. Use brewed unsweetened tea only. By Ivy from Rancho Palos Verdes Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Charlie made an appointment with a urologist, famous for his work in the field of impotence. The doctor examined him and said, "You're in remarkably good condition for a man of 85. Why are you here?" Charlie replied, "My friend Max says he has sex twice a week. I can't do that." The doctor shrugged. "Yes you can. You can certainly SAY you have sex as many times a week as you like."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative." "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right."
» Snow goes the Goose


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Tall Tripod 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 11

Thank you, Ray!

>From Dr Bill
I enjoy reading the tips you give because people are 
apparently doing things with their computer that I know 
nothing about - however, I found a free word processor 
some years ago which I have found to be the easiest, 
most reliable program I ever used, and I write and save a 
lot of stuff - it is called "Jarte" - you might like to share it
 with folks who aren't into the highly complex stuff that 
many appear to be addicted to.
Bill

I have not used Jarte, but it looks quite impressive!
It is available free at http://jarte.com
Jarte might be ideal for people, who just want a simple word
processor or have limited space. You CAN put Jarte onto a
camera chip or key-fob drive, and use it on different machines,
for example home and work, or when visiting relatives. You
don't have to install it on those alternate machines, and as
far as I can tell, it won't leave any traces on those machines..

Thanks Dr Bill!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1737 Earthquake kills 300,000 & destroys 3/4 of Calcutta, India 
1797 British naval forces defeat Dutch off Camperdown, Holland
1811 The Juliana, the 1st steam-powered ferryboat
1923 German mark falls to 10 billion per Pound, 4 billion per $
1945 Chinese civil war begins, Chiang Kai-Shek vs Mao Tse-Tung 
1968 Panama revolts
1991 Anita Hill testifies Clarence Thomas sexually harrassed her 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them." --- George Eliot
>From Dave: Best Out Of The Office messages: 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 3. I will be unable to delete all the silly emails you send me until I return from vacation on October 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message. 5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over). 6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 7. I've run away to join a different circus.
>From Senna One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, green mudpack on the face, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him worse. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"
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Apparently the link to the movie of the Solar Sneeze did not work for some email programs. Try this link: Solar Sneeze High Def Movie Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Keegan Curry, 25, in St. Petersburg, Florida Struck By Car While Fleeing From Loss-Prevention Officer Reported in The Weekly Vice Keegan Curry, a 25-year-old St. Petersburg man was hospitalized after he allegedly shoplifted from a local J.C. Penny retail store before he was struck by a car while fleeing the scene. According to St. Petersburg police, Curry was stopped by a loss-prevention officer after he attempted to leave a J.C. Penny retail store without paying for items he had concealed inside his pants. Curry pushed past the officer and stated "I'm not going back to prison" as he attempted to flee the scene. Investigators say the officer and a bystander chased Curry as he ran onto the northbound lane of a busy road and was struck by a 2005 Chrysler minivan. As rescue crews attempted to treat Curry's injuries, they removed two shirts from his pants that he had stolen from the store. Curry was taken to Bayfront Medical Center where he received treatment for severe injuries. The driver and front passenger inside the minivan were not seriously injured. Curry will be hauled to jail when he is discharged from the hospital.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Amy Re: Tall tripod Dear Webby, I need a really tall tripod or something, to take pictures above the heads of a crowd. My camera does have a swivel monitor, so that I don't have to be up there myself. What is the solution, and where can I get it? Amy Dear Amy Tripods and crowds do NOT mix. Everybody will either trip over it's legs or kick them. You need a "stick". Get a telescoping shower curtain rod, a 1 inch long 1/4" by 20 bolt and a 1/4" wingnut, plus some two component epoxy. Roughen one end of the curtain rod with sand paper and clean it with rubbing alcohol, then epoxy the bolt onto it, with the head of it on the end of the rod. Use more than the absolute minimum of epoxy and make it look nice and smooth. When the epoxy is hard, thread the wingnut onto the bolt, with the wings pointing towards the rod. Now you can thread the camera onto the bolt, until it just barely bottoms out. Then turn the wingnut up towards the camera and lock it. With the wingnut you can use a bit of force, but not with the bolt intio the camera. The telescoping rods can usually be locked by twisting them, and you can fix it for whatever height you need that day. If yours does not lock, you can force it to a few popular height levels and drill small holes through it. A small screw through both the outer and inner pipe will lock it. A lengthwise paint stripe on both pipes will really help for lining up the little holes. You don't have to thread the holes, the spring in the pipe has more than enough tension to hold the screw securely. Some people glue a cross or an "L" bracket onto the pipe for really smooth panning. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pringles Cans for Storage Besides making the solar hot dog cooker that I've seen on several sites, I use Pringles containers for storing the plastic bags we get from stores. Then, I have a portable dispenser for plastic bags to store in car, hunting and fishing gear, and for gardening (for holding produce while harvesting and for gifting excess produce to others). By Clydecito from Western Kansas Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Doctor Bloom who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her walker. When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and, amazingly, emerged within half an hour walking completely erect with her head held high. A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?" She answered, "Miracle, shmiracle . . he adjusted my walker."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jackhas died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Willand Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus,the Jaguar and my business. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my collection of vitamines."
» The last straw


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How to unlock PPS files? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 10

>From Frank
Hi Webby
Re: Winzip eats drive space
Or just use 7zip (www.7zip.com) which is free!!
Cheers
Frank

I have used 7zip. 
It does work, but it definitely requires changing habits
and reading instructions. Probably to avoid copyright suits,
they use a different user interface. 
If you are willing to read the instructions, the 7zip will
work well for you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1780 Great Hurricane of 1780 kills 25,000 in Caribbean 
1846 Neptune's moon Triton discovered by William Lassell 
1868 Cuba revolts for independence against Spain
1874 Fiji becomes a British possession 
1911 Sun Yat-sen's revolutionaries overthrow Manchus 
   (Taiwan Nat'l Day) 
1913 Gamboa Dam in Panama blown up; Atlantic & Pacific waters mix 
1914 German forces route Belgians in Antwerp Belgium (WW I) 
1933 1st synthetic detergent for home use marketed 
1938 Germany completed annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland 
1963 Treaty banning atmospheric nuclear tests signed by US, UK, USSR
1970 Fiji gains independence from Britain (National Day) 
1975 Liz Taylor's 6th marriage (re-marries Richard Burton) 
1979 Panama assumes sovereignty over Canal Area (ie Canal Zone) 
1987 Bruce Springsteen releases his 9th album "Tunnel of Love" 
1991 Ex-postal worker Joseph Harris kills 4 postal workers
1991 Greyhound Bus ends bankruptcy 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. --- Dave Barry The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern. --- Lord Acton, 1881 An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. --- Friedrich Engels "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." --- Robert Frost
A man was burglaring a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dummy named you Moses?" "The same dummy who called his Rottweiler Jesus."
A man was sued by the mayor for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After sentencing he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Allmond a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Allmond?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Allmond with no fear of legal action. The man looked directly at Mrs. Allmond and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Allmond."
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Click on the picture for the large version Solar Sneeze. Note the size of the earth! Earth is not really at that location, just shown for size comparison. The mass of the sneeze is tens of thousands of times the mass of earth. Movie of the sneeze You may have to visit the on-line version of the Humor Letter to see it.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Cesar Alcivar, 40, in Clearwater, FL Jailed for Impregnating 12-Year-Old Girl after Sexually Molesting Her For More Than A year Reported in The Weekly Vice Cesar Alcivar, a 40-year-old Florida man has been jailed after he allegedly impregnated a 12-year-old girl after repeatedly molesting her for more than a year. According to Clearwater police, an investigation was launched after a 12-year-old girl was brought to the emergency room complaining of stomach pain, but was found to be pregnant instead. Investigators say the girl's mother brought he girl to a Clearwater area hospital after she complained of chronic stomach pain. Doctors performed tests, however, that revealed she was pregnant. The investigation that followed revealed that the girl had endured more than a year of sexual abuse beginning when she was just 11 years old. The victim identified the suspect as 39-year-old Cesar Alcivar. Alcivar was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and charged with capital sexual battery. Bond has not yet been set in the case.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Nora Re: PPS files that won't open Dear Webby, People send me PPS files all the time, often with really beautiful pictures. Sometimes, however, I get an error about Open Office not loading password encrypted Microslop Powerpoint presentations. I guess somebody is trying to rub it in, that they had the money to buy the full Microslop Office. I don't have that kind of money and use Open Office. Usually, it seems, people password stuff after they slobber religious or dogooder quotes onto good pictures. Is there a way around that childish passwording of PPS files? Nora Dear Nora You can go to my tool box at http://webby.com/tools and grab the Microsft Powerpoint READER. That one is free. Depending on the type of passwording, you can only view the PPS, but can't take the slobbery comments off. To make it editable, you have to send it to somebody, who has the full version of Microsoft Office. They can save it in editable mode. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pringles Cans for Storage Besides making the solar hot dog cooker that I've seen on several sites, I use Pringles containers for storing the plastic bags we get from stores. Then, I have a portable dispenser for plastic bags to store in car, hunting and fishing gear, and for gardening (for holding produce while harvesting and for gifting excess produce to others). By Clydecito from Western Kansas Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day when she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $50 bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent. She couldn't get him off her mind and thinking that he might be in financial difficulties. She took the $50 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair, Sister Eulalia." She threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and went off down the street. The next day she was in her room saying her prayers when she was told that a man was at her door who insisted on seeing her. She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills. When she asked what the bills were for he replied, "That's the four-hundred bucks you have coming. Don't Despair paid 7-1."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the gift list on a table and declared, "I think she's too young to get married." "Why do you say that?" I asked. "Because," she said, "they registered for Nintendo games."
» Top of the world


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Nuisance temp files after using Winzip 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 9

If one of you is good at teaching people how to bake,
and wants to do it online, with eBooks, grab
bakingtutor.com
Eloise, the owner of it, is too busy with her glutenfree
baking and stuff, and is willing to sell the domain name.
If you are interested, send me an email, or write to her 
and make her an offer. 

>From Candace
DEAR WEBBY,
THIS Morning you said Happy THANKSDGIVING. 
well I think you are a little off.

because this is OCTOBER not NOVEMBER. 
THANKSGIVING is next month. there
is still HALLOWEEN to have yet. 
did you make an ERROW or something?
CANDACE

Dear Candace
Keep in mind that the Viking Eric the Red, 
grandfather of Hagar the Horrible, 
discovered Canada a thousand years before 
Columbus mistook the Carribean islands for India 
and called the natives Indians. 
And today, 1012 years ago, Hagar's Great-grand son Leif Ericson
crashed in Vinland, today's Newfoundland.

That is why Canada Day is 4 days before your July 4th 
holiday, and why Canada's Thanksgiving is a month 
before yours.

Don't worry, we generally celebrate both anyway.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1000 Leif Ericson discovers "Vinland" (Newfoundland) 
1547 Miguel de Cervantes was born, novelist (Don Quixote) 
1855 Joshua Stoddard of Worcester, Mass patents calliope
1876 1st 2-way telephone conversation, 1st over outdoor wires
1903 11" rainfall in 24 hrs (NYC) 
1936 Hoover Dam begins transmitting electricity to LA 
1946 1st electric blanket manufactured; sold for $39.50
1947 1st telephone conversation between a moving car & a plane
1968 Government seizes oil fields in Peru
1975 Emperor Hirohito of Japan visits SF 
1980 1st consumer use of home banking by computer (Knoxville Tn) 
1989 Penthouse Magazine's hebrew edition hits the newstands 
1990 Saddam threatens to hit Israel with a new missile 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. --- Abba Eban
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours he hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had 2 Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "And you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to get them to let him pass."
Morris goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" Morris replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "I'm sure you're wrong." The man pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what, let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I called your wife. She talked to me on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously says, "Yes, please." "Take the poison!"
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Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Sophia E. Davidson, 21, in Massilon, Ohio Jailed for hijacking Repo tow truck Thanks to Penny for reporting this bimbo malfunction: MASSILLON, Ohio A 21-year-old city woman hijacked a tow truck with her repossessed SUV hooked to the back and led Massillon police on a 7.5-mile chase, which some veteran officers say was the wildest and most dangerous of their careers. The crash ended when the woman, Sophia E. Davidson, of 503 Tremont Ave. SE, lost control of the tow truck in the 10,000 block of Orrville Street NW and slammed into a vacant home. No one was injured. “I’ve seen a lot of chases in 25 years,” Sgt. J.J. DiLoreto said. “But nothing like that.” “I’ve never chased anybody driving a tow truck with a car on the back of it,” Lt. Michael Mareno added. Ed Meadows, a tow truck driver for Skipco, said he was attempting to repossess Davidson’s 2004 Mercury Mountaineer that was parked outside of Huntington Bank, 153 Lincoln Way E, at about 11 a.m. Friday. As he was connecting the tow gear, Davidson approached him and attempted to stop him by pulling at his side. Meadows ignored her and continued to attach the tow equipment. The next thing Meadows knew, his driver’s side door swung shut. “As I was repo’ing it, she jumped in and took off,” a befuddled Meadows said, throwing his hands in the air. “...I’m kind of dumbfounded right now. I’ve never had that happen before and I’ve been doing this a long time.” With her Mountaineer hooked to the back of a Skipco-owned Ford F250, Davidson fled downtown Massillon by way of Second Street and headed north onto state Route 21. As the vehicles fish-tailed over both northbound lanes, the tires of the Mountaineer began to disintegrate, engraving the payment with black skid marks for nearly two miles. The tires eventually blew off the Mountaineer, but Davidson continued driving. Speeds exceeded 65 mph. Davidson, with Massillon and Lawrence Township police trailing her, was slowed by the driver of a semi tractor trailer rig who intentionally tried to block her path. Then she turned west onto Butterbridge Road. Vehicles pulled over to the side of the road as more than five police cruisers pursued Davidson. Shortly after turning onto Orrville Street, Davidson lost control of the truck, which spun and crashed into the front of a single-story vacant home. The tow truck knocked out the entire front wall. Police swarmed the truck, drawing their firearms and ordering Davidson from the vehicle, in-dash camera footage of the accident showed. One officer used an asp to shatter the truck’s window and drag Davidson out the hard way and take her into custody.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: Winzip eats drive space Dear Webby, Whenever I use Winzip to unzip any file, the free space on the hard drive shrinks by two to three times the size of the unzipped file. I don't have a lot of space to spare and this sure does not help. What can be done about that? Alice Dear Alice Always run CrapCleaner after using Winzip. Winzip likes to litter your drive with temp files and is too sloppy to clean up after itself. Even the newest PRO version still won't let you specify where to put temp files, for example onto an empty USB drive. It insists on putting the temp files onto the C: drive. You can get CrapCleaner free at http://webby.com/tools http://webby.com/tools The first time you run CrapCleaner, uncheck Cookies, so that it doesn't automatically delete the cookies that you need for your on-line banking and shopping. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comRefurbishing Candles
If you have warped candles, dunk them in a pan of warm water to make them pliable enough to bend back straight. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>From Maxi I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. Hell, if I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he goes weak in the knees and he begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why? Because she smells like a new truck.
» Underground Waterways


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Paint for cameras 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 8
Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Thank you Marian!
Thank you Carl!

>From Margee
Hey Webby,
 Wow!  Who knew Australia is leading the
USA in causing Global Warning:
 "1924 160 consecutive days of 100ŗ at Marble Bar, Australia begins"
 LOL :)
 Regards, 
Margee :)

Hi Margee
Was that due to your gramma's new swim suit?
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
451 Council of Chalcedon (4th ecumenical council) opens
1604 The supernova called "Kepler's nova" is 1st sighted 
1871 Great Fire kills 200, destroys over 4żmiles (10 kmż) of 
   Chicago buildings
1906 Karl Nessler demonstrates 1st 'permanent wave' for hair
1912 1st Balkan War begins 
1939 Germany annexes Western Poland 
1957 Turkish & Syrian border guards exchange fire   
      (they still do that)
1962 N Korea reports 100% election turnout, 
   100% vote for Workers' Party
1978 Kenneth Warby sets world speed record on water (514 kph) 
1988 Fire in Seattle's Space Needle causes evacuation, $2,000 damage
1990 Israeli police kill 17 Palestinian rioters 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them." --- Richard Strauss Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. --- Dave Barry The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern. --- Lord Acton
>From Greta My violin teacher was instructing a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s in Vienna." Someone in the audience raised their hand and asked, "So you got it used?"
A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will. At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."
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Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'." "You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" "That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!" Click on the picture for the large version Yesterday's sunset from here.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Abbie Arms, a 24, Newark, Delaware Jailed After Abandoning Baby On Sidewalk To "Answer Phone Call" Abbie Arms, a 24-year-old Delaware woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly left her infant son unattended on a sidewalk for more than 45 minutes while she had more pressing matters to attend to. According to police, officers were dispatched to the Glasgow Court Trailer Park Wednesday after a resident called to report that a woman set her infant child on a sidewalk, walked away, and never returned. Investigators arrived on the scene a short time later and found an 11-month-old child, that had been buckled into a car seat and then left unattended on the sidewalk. The witness told police that she saw a woman dressed in shorts and a t-shirt leave the child on the sidewalk before walking away. Additional officers were dispatched to the scene to assist in locating the child's mother. Officers searched the area for more than 45 minutes before eventually locating the mother at her residence in another part of the trailer park. The mother, identified as Abbie Arms, told officers that she had to attend a call when she left her son behind. Arms was booked into jail and charged with endangering the welfare of a child. She was released after posting $250 bail.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Paint for digital camera Dear Webby, A few days ago you mentioned paining a digital camera. What kind of paint would be safe? Ann Dear Ann Provided that you use some masking tape over the lens area, the screen and the seams of anything, that opens, you can use any paint you want. Considering the resale value, a metallic paint looks the best, or a candy-pple gloss. If you are not worried about resale value, but fewer drops, use a thick latex paint. They are not as smooth and not as slippery. If dropping is a real problem, get Loctite Color Guard That is a light blue or fire engine red rubber paint made for dipping valve handles or tool handles for work in explosive environments or up on high towers. It is not cheap, a can costs between $9 and $19, depending on the dealer, but I have never dropped a tool, that I had dipped into it, no matter how high up a mast I was. With a camera, of course, you just paint it on. It produces a thick, soft, rubbery finish, that is almost sticky. If somebody has arthritis, that thick, soft rubber will make holding the camera relatively painless. And yes, after breaking some fingers, dipping your pens into that Loctite Color Guard rubber paint will make holding them a lot less painful. Industrial tool suppliers stock it or can order it, the Snap-On tool pusher usually carries a can or two, and you can also order it over the Internet. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comShaving Tips:
Shaving Tips: When shaving, first I use an electric shaver. Before I finish up with a straight razor, I use some moisturizer on my face. It eliminates razor burns and and cuts. It really works quite well. By Garyblue from Knoxville, TN. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Driving my friend Steve and his girlfriend to the airport, I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad well built beauty holding a can of beer. Steve's girlfriend glanced up at it and announced, "I suppose, if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I'd look like her." "No," Steve corrected. "If I drank a six-pack, then you'd look like her." He lived.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two men stood on the lonely lighthouse. Through the fog they could see a small boat making its way toward them, with a lonely occupant. Suddenly a squall lifted the craft and tossed the man into the water. The two men sprang into action. Hurriedly they launched their own craft and fought their way through perilous and treacherous waters to reach the man. At last they got him aboard their boat. "It's a good thing you rescued me," the dripping man said gratefully. "I was coming out to see you about your income tax......" "OOOPS, looks like he fell overboard!"
» Lures


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What to do when the computer clock is slow? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 7

Thank you Marian!
Thank you Carl!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
3761 -BC- Origin of Jewish Mundane Era
1571 Turkish fleet defeated by Spanish & Italians in Battle of Lepanto
1737 40 foot waves sink 20,000 small craft & kill 300,000 (Bengal, India) 
1816 1st double decked steamboat arrived in New Orleans 
1886 Spain abolishes slavery in Cuba 
1908 Crete revolts against Turkey & aligns with Greece
1924 160 consecutive days of 100ŗ at Marble Bar, Australia begins
1931 1st infra-red photograph, Rochester, NY 
1950 US forces invade North Korea by crossing the 38th parallel 
1963 Hurricane Flora hits Haiti & Dominican Republic, kills 7,190
1990 Israel begins handing out gas masks to its citizens
1991 Child star Adam Rich arrested for stealing hypodermics
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. --- Gail Godwin Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. --- Napoleon Bonaparte
Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big, high-class casino. At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your belly button to a doorknob.
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."
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Thanks to Dad for these pictures. That is what he did yesterday. Half an hour train ride, half an hour bus ride, then with the cable car up to the Luener See, an artificial hydro dam lake. Click on the picture for the large version Click on the picture for the large version A coffee and a bite to eat at the top station Click on the picture for the large version Hiking along the lake on the now beautifuly groomed path Click on the picture for the large version That building, the Totalp, is the turn-around place. In summer there is cattle there, and the cow-pokes live in that building. You CAN continue from there to hike the back side of the lake or hike up to a peak, but like most of the people on the trail yesterday, he turned around there and hiked back to the dam. Click on the picture for the large version Looks different coming back! Click on the picture for the large version Getting close to the dam Click on the picture for the large version Some apple-strudel and a coffee in the sunshine before taking the cable car back down into the valley. I wish I could be hikihng with him, but sizing an sharing the pictures with you is second best.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Heather Lacey, 25, DeWitt, NY Jailed After Forcing 3 yr old Son To Live In Feces Covered Bedroom Heather Lacey, a 25-year-old New York woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly locked her toddler son in a small bedroom for up to 22 hours a day without supervision or access to a bathroom. According to DeWitt Police, an investigation was launched on Monday after detectives received a tip that alleged a woman was keeping her son locked inside a small bedroom unattended for long periods of time. Police arrived at Lacey's residence and discovered a 3-year- old boy locked inside a bedroom that was covered with urine and fecal matter. Investigators say the child's bed, floor and walls were all covered with human waste. Police discovered through the course of the investigation that the boy was locked inside the room for up to 22 hours per day without supervision. Lacey was booked into jail and charged with unlawful imprisonment and endangering the welfare of a child. Bail in her cause has been set at $5,000.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Sheila Re: Computer clock is late Dear Webby, My clock in my task bar has just recently started being wrong. I have almost been late on several occasions because the clock was several minutes slow. What could be causing this? Sheila Dear Sheila If you have your clock set to synchronize with the rest of the world at midnight, but turn your computer off at 11:55 PM, then your computer's clock will go a bit more out of sync every day. Just like wall clocks and wrist watches need to be set occasionally, the same applies to the computer's clock. That does not mean your computer's clock is not accurate, it's that the year is not 365 days, but 365 1/4 days, minus a few hours. Some atomic clocks are set for that, and some eggheads fudge and correct even that occasionally. The Synchronize function calls that atomic clock, or actually a server, that is updated daily, and uses that to update your computer clock. Just double-click the clock and change the time for the synchronizing to a time, during which your normally are online. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Egg Cartons For Craft Organization: I save egg cartons of both kinds cardboard and Styrofoam. I use the bottom of all sizes in the Styrofoam to use when I do watercolor painting. They can be used for any painting medium and also for crafting. I use them and then toss them out after my day of painting for mixing colors. You can also either the Styrofoam or cardboard cartons for all sorts of crafting or sewing, for storing beads for Jewelry making, for any kind of small items to keep you organized. By handbaglady from Manahawkin, NJ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up. He then asked, "Did anyone drop a half dollar?" "I did," answered three women at once. "Well," said the elderly gent with a smile, "here's a dime of it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Nana I took my five-year-old grandson to a relative's wedding. As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the church, he turned to me and asked, "Is this where the groom decides which one he should have married?"
» Earth


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Running programs from other drives 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 6

The injections worked OK this time, and by Friday I could 
read again. The only part that was painful was getting the
bill for $150 handed to me. Medicare does not cover that.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1683 13 German families arrive in present day Philadelphia
1781 Americans & French begin siege of Cornwallis at Yorktown; 
   last battle of the Revolutionary War
1866 1st train robbery in US 
1889 Thomas Edison shows his 1st motion picture 
1890 Mormon Church outlaws polygamy
1908 Austria annexes Bosnia & Herzegovina 
1923 USSR adopts experimental calendar 
1928 Chiang Kai-Shek becomes president of China 
1959 Soviet Luna 3, 1st successful photographic spacecraft, 
   impacts Moon 
1972 22-car train carrying 2,000 pilgrims derails, kills 208 in Mexico
1973 Yom Kippur War begins as Syria & Egypt attack Israel 
1991 Elizabeth Taylor weds for the 8th time (Larry Fortensky) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. --- Robert Louis Stevenson Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked. --- Peter de Vries "You can learn from anyone even your enemy." --- Publius Ovidius Naso Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --- Aldous Huxley ----- somebody should tell Al Gore!
There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back. Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a base- ball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!
"One of our co-workers went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired!"
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Click on the picture for the large version Fall in Shanxi, China
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Coutney Speer, 31, Bryant, Ark Teacher - Charged With Having Sex With Student In School Parking Lot Bryant, Ark. (The Report by The Weekly Vice Courtney Speer, a 31-year-old English teacher at Bryant High School was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a student in the school parking lot and other locations. According to Bryant Police, an investigation was launched Monday when a 17-year-old student told school resource officers that he was involved in a sexual relationship with teacher at the same school. It was not reported, whether Speer had just picked a habitual gossip, or whether any event, or lack of any event, prompted the confessions. Investigators say Speer and the student had sexual intercourse for the first time in her car which was parked in the school parking lot. The pair reportedly had sex three more times with at least two instances taking place at her residence. The alleged sexual relationship began in June of this year. Courtney reportedly resigned from her job the same day the investigation was launched and turned herself in to police on Wednesday morning. Speer was booked into jail and charged with five counts of sexual assault. Two of those counts were filed in Benton County where she reportedly resides. She was released after posting a $20,000 bond. Speer is married and has two children. Hubby might get miffed, when he reads this.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: Programs on different drives Dear Webby, a question for when your eyes get better again and I hope all goes well. I have an external hard drive labeled F drive. Can I install programs on that drive instead of C drive and will they work the same? I want to free up some space on C drive. Or can programs be moved from C to F or do I have to uninstall and reinstall them? Thanks as always for your help. Also how can I find and remove old drivers. I know you have given tips on old drivers but I do not know how to do it. Thanks. Ron Dear Ron Yes, sure you can install them there! I have reserved the C: drive for JUST the OS since Windows 3.1, and have always put programs onto E:, and produced data onto F: However, also save the setup file. The Setup file doesn't just unzip all the included files, it also puts notices into the registry, telling Windows where to find that program and it's components. You need that,when you attach that external drive to a different machine. Instead of smart PIFs (Program Information Files) like in Windows 3 and 3.1, starting with Windoze 95 all that information was put into the central registry, a huge, unwieldy and very user-hostile dump. Since then, no matter whether you moved a program to a different drive or a different machine, you have to uninstall and re-install at the new location, unless you want to hand-edit the registry. (NOT Recommended!) Re the old drivers, CrapCleaner lets you find those, but unless you are nitpicking for a few extra Kilobytes of space, I would not bother with them. Most, except those for HP stuff, are quite small and not really worth the hassle. If you need space, go after movies and music. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Canning Jars to Start Cuttings Instead of buying a plant for a birthday or housewarming gift, grow one. I have a few old canning jars in my kitchen window, and I grow new plants in water from clippings of older plants. When it has new roots I plant it in dirt and give a homemade gift that will last a long time. By Georgjeana from Tallmadge, OH Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
While interviewing job applicats I was talking to an attractive young woman. Looking over the application form, I noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work. "What about your bus line?" I asked her. "I don't believe I mentioned it," came the pleased reply, "but it's a 38D." Hmmm. That number is probably related to typing speed.
» Sound Of Earth


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Moisture Migration 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 4

Thank you, Francis!

Wednesday morning I woke up to a white world.
Ashes from the Gullible Warming that Obama and Al Gore keep 
talking about? 
By the time I got my glasses on, it was clear, that all the
white stuff was just snow. So I gruffily conceded, that 
summer is over and put on the long jeans. 
Just for the morning! 
Sure enough, by early afternoon it was warm enough to wear
shorts for washing the car windows and getting it ready 
for the trip to Calgary on Thursday morning.

Looks like it is the season to be envious of you Floridians
and Texans.

As you read this, I am getting injections into my eyes.
That means there probably won't be any newsletters sent out 
on October 5, and possibly 6. I sure hope it won't be a disaster 
like last month. My eyes still have not completely recovered 
from that. However, I will write and send them again 
as soon as I can.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1582 Last day of the Julian calendar in Italy, many Catholic countries 
1648 Peter Stuyvesant establishes Americas 1st volunteer firemen
1824 Mexico becomes a republic
1883 Orient Express' 1st run, linking Turkey to Europe by rail 
1910 Portugal becomes a republic, King Manuel II flees to England 
1912 Nicaraguan Gen Zeledon, opponent of US occupation, is executed 
1955 Rev Sun Young Moon leaves prison in Seoul 
1957 USSR launches Sputnik I, the 1st artificial Earth satellite
1958 5th French republic established 
1959 USSR Luna 3 sent back 1st photos of Moon's far side 
1984 US govt closes down due to budget problems
1985 Shite Muslims claim to have killed hostage William Buckley
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --- Aldous Huxley Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. --- Dame Edna Everage "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." --- Sam Ewing
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive. So the Minister asked the congregation - "What can you learn from this demonstration?" Little was sitting in the back and quickly stood up and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Tabitha, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear!"
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Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Ashley Bellamy, 22, Upper Darby, PA Jailed After Police Find 36 Glass Vials Of Crack Cocaine Inside Her Vagina Ashley Bellamy, a 22-year-old Pennsylvania woman was jailed Saturday after she allegedly hid 36 glass vials of crack cocaine in her vagina in an attempt to avoid arrest. According to police, a 40-year-old man was attempting to buy crack cocaine from Bellamy and her boyfriend in a Wawa Grocery Store parking lot when the couple pulled a gun on the man and demanded that he get more money. Instead, the man ran into the store and called 911. Investigators say police arrived on the scene and ordered Bellamy and her boyfriend to get out of the vehicle. When Bellamy exited the vehicle, police noted that she was walking in a strange manner. "I've got crack in my vagina," Bellamy reportedly told officers when she realized police were onto her. A female officer who had been summoned to the scene found 36 glass vials containing crack cocaine inside the woman's vagina. Bellamy told investigators that her boyfriend, 22-year-old Marcus Gibson, ordered her to hide the cocaine when he noticed police had arrived at the scene. Officers also recovered $646 from Bellamy's handbag. Bellamy and Gibson were booked into jail and charged with violation of the health and safety act for drug possession and drug dealing. Bail has been set at $75,000 each. Gun and ttempted robbery charges may be added later.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Tom Re: Moisture Migration Dear Webby, You have been such a help with computer questions, and seem to have a great deal of knowledge on everyday items also. I would appreciate it if you could find an answer for this question. I take my lunch to work in a plastic cooler about 12 X 16 inches and 18 deep. I put a few cans of soda in the bottom, cover them with ice and then put my sandwich in on top. Some time the sandwich is wrapped in Saran Wrap and sometimes in wax paper and then put in a plastic sealable sandwich bag. By lunch time sometimes, and only sometimes the bread on one side of the sandwich is soggy and the other slice is hard, dried out. I leave my cooler in the car and this seems to happen all year round. (Chicago area) Why does this happen and how do I stop it? Tom Dear Tom Moisture in the sandwich will condense in the cold side, which will reduce the humidity in the sandwich bag, causing more liquid to evaporate on the warm side, and condense on the cold side. Just cover te ice with some folded up bubble-wrap or piece of styrofoam. The sandwich will still be cool, but not soggy on one side. A small styrofoam box, that a modem or hard drive came in also works fine as a thermal "boat". You just have to prevent the sandwich bag from touching the ice. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Touchup Paint in Film Canisters Save film canisters and use them to store small amounts of leftover paint for touch-ups. Label each one and store in a handy place. Instead of a label, you can also just paint a part of the film canister lid with the paint for quick reference. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO For those of you, who have never seen a film canister: Once upon a time, long, long ago, before Digital Cameras, cameras used to use film, that came in cute, little pill bottle size plastic or aluminum cans. Nowadays, you can use pill bottles to store small amounts of paint. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Four retired guys are walking down a street in Mesa, Ariz. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar . . . . ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!" They look at each other, then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gentlemen?" There seems to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis -- shaken, not stirred, and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please." The four men stare at the bartender for a moment, then look at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please." They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They have each had two martinis, and so far they've spent less than a dollar. Finally one of the men says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?" "Here's my story," the bartender said. "I'm a retired sailor, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same." "Wow. That's quite a story," says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there. One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?" The bartender says, "Oh, they're from Scotland. They're waiting for happy hour at 5 o'clock when drinks are half price."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic device, capable of making bazillions of decisions in split nanoseconds, is designed to solve all military problems with the greatest of ease. To test its capabilities, the brass poses a tactical problem to it and then asks for a decision, "Attack or Retreat?" The computer hums a bit, blinks a myriad of lights and answers, "Yes." The brass, somewhat confused by this answer, replies, "Yes what?" The computer instantly replies, "Yes, sir!"
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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 3

Tomorrow I have to go for more injections into my eyes.
That means there probably won't be any newsletters sent out 
on October 5, and possibly 6. I sure hope it won't be a disaster 
like last month. My eyes still have not completely recovered 
from that. However, I will write and send them again 
as soon as I can.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
2333 -BC- Tangun establishes kingdom of Chosun (Korea)
1430 Jews are expelled from Eger Bohemia 
1863 Lincoln designates last Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day 
1913 Federal Income Tax signed into law (at 1%) 
1922 1st facsimile photo send over city telephone lines, Washington, DC 
1929 Kingdom of Serbs, Croats & Slovenes changes name to Yugoslavia 
1942 Launch of the 1st A-4/V-2 rocket to altitude of 53 miles (85 km) 
1947 1st telescope lens 200" (508 cm) in diameter completed 
1967 William Knight sets X-15 speed rec of 7,297 KPH/4,534 MPH/Mach 6.72 
1987 Michael Pruffer of France skis 135.26 MPH at Portillo, Chile
1990 East Germany & West Germany merge to become Germany 
1990 Florida record store owner Charles Freeman is found guilty of obscenity, 
      for selling 2 Live Crew rap records 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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>From Sandie: The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately: 1. High fever 2. Congestion 3. Nausea 4. Fatigue 5. Aching in the joints 6. An irresistible urge to sh.. on someone's windshield
Kids! How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8 What Do You Think Your Mom And Dad Have In Common? Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8 What Do Most People Do On A Date? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8 When Is It OK To Kiss Someone? When they're rich. - Pam, age 7 Is It Better To Be Single Or Married? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8
I was peacefully working away when the phone disturbed me. "Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I don't like people who call wrong numbers. I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end... a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean... who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't Jennifer. Good guess though... "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and that she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... are you the one, who got pregnant?" Judging by her howl, she either thought I was hitting a bit too close, or she was getting quite uppset. "That asshole better call me the MINUTE he gets home!" "Okay, I will tell him, but Becky isn't going to like that." *Click*
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Click on the picture for the large version Konjic, Bosnia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Donald Munoz Oregon man drunk on Mike’s Hard Lemonade crashes his bicycle into cop car Donald Munoz might want to consider real lemonade next time. Cops said he drank three bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and then hopped on his bike. He was busted when he crashed it into a police cruiser in Gresham, Ore., KGW-TV reported. Munoz, 32, blew through a red light at around 1:30 a.m. Thursday, according to the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office. Dash cam video from the cop car shows the patrol car colliding with the rear wheel of his bike, as he is blowing a red light and crossing in front of the approaching patrol car. The police cruiser barely nudged him and no one was injured. Munoz admitted to being drunk on Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and the officer, whose car he hit, found an open container of the sugary booze on his bike. He was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of intoxicants.
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Tech Support Pits: From: iMickey Re: Internet Radio Dear Webby, that Mystique screensaver you told us about yesterday is wonderful! To think that it has been hiding just a few clicks away all these years, annoys me! You probably did mention it occasionally, but I didn't pay attention. Another thing I forgot is the Internet radio program, that you mentioned a few times. Can you please mention it again? Thanks iMickey Dear iMickey The one I use is http://accuradio.com Yo can narrow it down to exactly what you like and even ban particular screechers in that narrow band. And when a Skype call or video chat comes through, AccuRadio mutes automatically. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Touchup Paint in Film Canisters Save film canisters and use them to store small amounts of leftover paint for touch-ups. Label each one and store in a handy place. Instead of a label, you can also just paint a part of the film canister lid with the paint for quick reference. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO For those of you, who have never seen a film canister: Once upon a time, long, long ago, before Digital Cameras, cameras used to use film, that came in cute, little pill bottle size plastic or aluminum cans. Nowadays, you can use pill bottles to store small amounts of paint. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux went out in the Gulf of Mexico fishing. They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they noticed a Taco Bell had been built while they were away. Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says "Look at dat, we not gone no time and dem Mexicans done come over here & built their own teliphone company!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An older woman recently returned from her hometown in North Carolina and told a friend they'd spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now." "All together?" her friend asked, puzzled. "Well," the first replied, "years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered." The friend was still puzzled. "You mean they exhumed all those people and reburied them?" "Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones. Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer."
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