Link for ExtraKeys 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 30

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man,who was arrested and didn't remember driving SUV off showroom floor, through glass doors Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 30, in 1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles XII died on this day. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A waist is a terrible thing to mind. --- Jane Caminos Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. --- Gordon R. Dickson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two die-hard golfers saw some kids fishing at the lake. One said to the other, "Look at those idiots fishing in the rain!" ______________________________________________________ Just after the maid had been fired, she took some steaks from the fridge and threw them to Fido, the family dog with the words: "Thanks, Fido. I never forget a friend. This was for doing the dishes for me every day!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vantice Beshears, 46, Ocala, Florida
Arrested man didn't remember driving SUV off showroom floor, through glass doors A man arrested Thursday told police he did not remember going to Honda of Ocala and taking two large screen television sets and putting them in a SUV on the showroom floor, driving through double glass doors, driving into another vehicle or abandoning the vehicle at the entrance of a subdivision. Vantice L. Beshears, 46, faces six charges, including grand theft over $20,000 and commercial burglary. He remained at the Marion County Jail on Friday, with his bond totaling $23,500. Early Thursday, Ocala Police Department Officer Ashley Stinehour was told that a black 2014 Toyota 4-Runner had been involved in a hit-and-run crash in the 2800 block of Southeast 31st Street and had pulled into the Devonshire subdivision. Stinehour found the sport utility vehicle parked just outside the subdivision’s front gate. The lights of the vehicle were flashing as if someone was using a remote to lock the doors. The officer saw Beshears walking on the opposite side of the entrance and called out to him. At first, Beshears ignored Stinehour, bur then walked over to her. Beshears, who appeared intoxicated and had a bottle of Aleve in his hand, told the officer he was visiting a friend, but could not give a name or address, according to an OPD report. Stinehour, joined by other officers, discovered there were warrants from Marion and Lake counties for Beshears' arrest and he was taken into custody. He was first taken to a hospital for an evaluation but became aggressive and was taken instead to the jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: a few Re: Link to Extra characters not working Dear Webby, When I tried that link, I got the response, "that link is not valid." Is there a different link available? Dear Yes, there is. Try http://www.deeproot.co.uk/extrakeys.html Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Coffee Maker for Soft Boiled Eggs I use my coffee maker to cook egg. I put the egg at the bottom, water and turn on. Since water does not boils, eggs are kept softer. My coffee maker takes about 15 to 20 minutes. You just have to figure out how long it takes to get your eggs the way you like. By zelda [3] You will probably have to use an old-fashioned percolator type coffee maker with the coffee tower pulled out. If you use a camp fire or stove top percolator, use plenty of water, bring the water with the eggs in it to a rapid boil, and move it off the fire. The eggs will cook themselves in about 5 minutes. Rinse in the creek or lake, and peel immediately. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, officer?" "What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "I'm reading a magazine." Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" "She's knitting." "And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man. "I'm nineteen," he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen." ___________________________________________________
funny baptisms
____________________________________________________ Jake and Paul are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Paul opens the morning paper and turns to the Obits page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realizes that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their database, premature and erroneous.. It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Jake up. "Jake, are you up yet?" Jake sleepily answers, "Yeah, but I'm only now starting my coffee." "Jake. open the newspaper to page 31." The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues. Finally, Jake comes on the line quietly and fearfully, "So Paul, where are you calling me from right now?" ____________________________________________________ Where is THAT hospital ? I think I have a fever. While making her rounds, the Head Nurse noticed a young female patient missing. Pressing the intercom, she said "Lori, where's the patient in 340?" "Oh!" came the reply. "Well... she was complaining of severe chills, so I put her in bed with Mr. Johnson in 328 who was running a high fever." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to James: So this guy's blunder was in just waiting too long! When they were kids he and his brother fought constantly. Dad would come home and pictures were rearranged, coats were hung in weird places around the room - to cover up holes knocked into the walls. They'd just gotten boxing gloves and were battling it out. James knocked his brother into the closet, but he didn't come back out. After about five minutes, James got worried that maybe he'd really hurt his brother. He walked over to the closet and slowly parted the clothes and out came a fist - right into his mouth. And THAT's how he got that chipped tooth. True story James Noella ____________________________________________________
Whew! I'm so glad I don't have to drive any of these roads!

Today, November 30, in
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an 
 army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King 
 Charles XII died on this day. 
1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace 
 articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 
1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France. 
1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz Mexico 
 declared war on France. 
1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and 
 destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 
1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper 
 shaker with a screw-on cap. 
1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 
1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its 
 first commercial exhibition. 
1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. 
 The structure had been constructed for the International 
 Exhibition of 1851. 
1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet 
 troops invaded Finland. 
1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 
1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a 
 meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock 
 weighed 8˝-pounds. 
1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News" 
 three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was 
 the world's first broadcast via videotape. 
1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent. 
1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President 
 Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security 
 staffer Oliver North as a "national hero." 
1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco Inc. 
 with a bid of $24.53 billion. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The 
 bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases 
 and background checks of prospective buyers. 
1995 President Clinton became the first U.S. chief executive 
 to visit Northern Ireland. 
1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire Bankers 
 Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's largest 
 financial institution. 
2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up 
 with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R Us 
 provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 
2015  smiled.


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Extra characters 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 29

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Mexican delegate to dope laws reform conference charged with possession of bath salts after he was found naked in a flower bed Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 29, in 1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered, given up all their weapons and had been given orders to camp there. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. --- Dame Rose Macaulay (1881 - 1958) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "You should try some Tums and eat properly!" ______________________________________________________ One nun is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants? SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And?? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a man with his pants down! (...And, for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's...! ) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: Icy park ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hector Anaya Segura, 29, in jail in Arlington, Virginia
Mexican delegate to dope laws reform conference charged with possession of bath salts after he was found naked in a flower bed A man visiting the Washington, D.C. area for a conference on drug reforms was charged with possession of the drug bath salts after police found him completely naked in a flower bed, police sources told News4. Police took 29-year-old Hector Anaya Segura into custody after responding to a call for a naked man in a flower bed on Crystal Drive in the Crystal City neighborhood of Arlington, Virginia, just after midnight Sunday. Segura was sweating profusely, screaming profanities and began pounding on a police cruiser, sources said. Officers attempted to subdue him without violence, then used a Taser unsuccessfully, sources said. A Taser was used again after the first attempt seemed to have no effect. Segura, a Mexican citizen, was in town for the 2015 International Drug Policy Reform Conference at the Crystal Gateway Marriott. The event brings together people who think the war on drugs does more harm than good. Segura also is charged with disorderly conduct.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jessica Re: Extra characters Dear Webby, You mentioned a program once for all the odd keys and symbols like 3/4 and micro, etc. I didn't need it then, so I didn't download it. Can you please give me the link again? Thanks Jessica Dear Jessica ExtraKeys is at www.deeproot.co.uk/extrakeys.html It is free. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mexican Black Beans This simple yet scrumptious side dish, and will be you're new pal for when you're in pinch and need something easy : ) Approximate Time: 1 hour 10 minutes Yield: A lot! Ingredients: 2 cups dried black beans 4 cups water Queso Fresco cheese Ortega hot sauce 1 Tbsp salt (plus salt to taste) Steps: Bring water to a boil. Mexican Black Beans Then pour in beans, along with salt. Cook for one hour or until tender. When beans are done, strain out all of the water with a strainer. Then mash beans with whatever will do the job (Note: You do not have to mash them all the way). And that's all! Just top with the cheese and hot sauce, plus salt and you're all set! Enjoy : ) Mexican Black Beans By luciere100 [14] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush." ___________________________________________________
Tim Hawkins - Old Rock Stars
____________________________________________________ The FORCE The force is like Duct Tape - it has a dark side, it has a light side, and it binds the universe together! ____________________________________________________ If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH stands for O as in Dough If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbor If TTE stands for T as in Gazette If EAU stands for O as in Plateau Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I'd like for all you guys to think that I'm not a total klutz, but sometimes even I wonder. So I tried to lick an envelope the other day for a Christmas card, and it wouldn't seal. It was a brand new envelope too. It was about then that I noticed the strip to peel off. Noella ____________________________________________________
The fall leaves are absolutely breathtaking from this ancient Ginkgo tree in China.

Today, November 29, in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a 
 militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 
 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had 
 surrendered, given up all their weapons and had been 
 given orders to camp there. 
1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the 
 rotary dial instrument. 
1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made 
 by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 
1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland 
 prior to a Soviet attack, after which Finland asked germany 
 for military help. When WWII was almost over and it was
 quite obvious that the Allies would win, Finland switched 
 sides and told germany to leave.
1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic 
 proclaimed. 
1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called 
 for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. 
 with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice 
 before landing off Puerto Rico. 
1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew 
 members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after 
 takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed.
1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl 
 Warren to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy. 
1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced 
 that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become 
 president of the World Bank. 
1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army 
 became effective. 
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he 
 and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language 
 for the Altair. 
1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should 
 withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. At that time the CIA was
 training and arming the Taliban aganst the Russians and the Afghan
 government.
1986 Actor Cary Grant died at the age of 82. 
1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people. 
1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for
 more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal 
 defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to 
 preserve potentially vital evidence. 
1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the 
 party's 40-year monopoly on power. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action 
 if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all 
 foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 
1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust 
 storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5.
1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its airport 
 only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded the 
 breakaway republic end its civil war. 
1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen 
 Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of 
 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war crimes 
 sentence since World War II. 
1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and 
 other narcotics. 
2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 
2015  smiled.


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Why would Verizon switch to AOL 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 28

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NJ woman charged with filing false report Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 27, in 1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ [Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. --- Al Capp (1909 - 1979) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about who'd had the tougher career. "I did 30 years in the Corps," the Marine declared proudly, "and fought in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the bloodsoaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade. "As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border. "Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam and survived." "Ah," said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand, "just shore duty, huh?" And the fight was on. ______________________________________________________ This one is long, but several people have asked for it, so here it is again: REDNECK TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS 1. If you take beer to a job interview, bring some for the interviewer too.. 2. If they are not wearing a game warden's uniform, try to identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Don't use the dead fridges in your front yard for sighting in your guns. They are too close. Use your neighbor's fridges for that. DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the bouquet of the wine. 2) Except at the drive in it's considered fashionable to take the bottle out of the paper bag. 3. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME 1. For table centerpieces stuffed animals are a lot nicer than roadkill.. 2. Do not allow the dog to sit on the table...he should sit on a chair or milk crate like everybody else 3) The chair with the most legs is for visitors. PERSONAL HYGIENE 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of beer money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingers is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. DATING (Outside the Family) 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. THEATER ETIQUETTE 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended. 2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. 3) No matter how real a game warden looks on the screen, don't shoot in the movie. It gives the person in front of you a terrible ear ache. WEDDINGS 1. Livestock, is a poor choice for a wedding gift, unless it is yours. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. DRIVING ETIQUETTE 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using duct tape. Use pantyhose instead. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. 6. Do not shoot any game while traveling in a funeral procession. 7. It's OK to put the beer in the air-conditioned hearse, but it is tacky to strap the coprse on the roof to make more room for more beer. ______________________________________________________ Moon by Kenny Rogers, published on FaceBook ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hayley Oates 25, Wayne, NJ photo courtesy of Wayne police
NJ woman charged with filing false report A Morris County woman allegedly made a false 911 call in order to divert police away from the bar where she and a friend were drinking so they could leave and not be caught driving drunk. Police said that Hayley Oates, 25, posted on social media after she called 911: “lmao.. 2 mins later the cop peals out..silly piggies tricks r for u,” Oates was arrested Thursday and charged with filing false reports to law enforcement and creating a false public alarm, Martin said. She was released pending a court appearance. Martin called Oates’ alleged actions “inexcusable and reprehensible behavior,” and said police officers place themselves in harm’s way daily responding to real events. Officer Gregory Halligan and Sgt. Donald Davidson were dispatched to Mother's Ale House around 3:15 a.m. Monday morning after the department received a 911 call reporting “a female being attacked in the parking lot.” The caller told the dispatcher that the suspect was in a blue pickup truck before abruptly hanging up. The officers raced to the bar with their lights and sirens activated and found no evidence of an assault and no witnesses, Martin said. The surveillance cameras in the area did not pick up any assault. Detective Sgt. Robert Simpson and Detective Dave Collins determined that Oates allegedly made the fake call to draw officers to Mother’s Ale House while she and an unidentified man could leave the Grasshopper Too without being stopped for driving under the influence, Martin said. Martin noted that Paramus Police Officer Vincent Brock died in a 1993 car crash responding to a prank 911 call about a shooting.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hester Re: Why would Verizon switch to AOL Dear Webby, I know all of Verizon's users always bitch and complain about them, but somehow they still stay with Verizon. That is the total opposite of AOL. People bitch and complain about AOL users, but those are always defensive and 100% loyal to AOL, no matter how bad a name AOL has. Why would anybody want to mix those two? Hester Dear Hester Verizon wanted the AOL customer list, like Times-Warner did, before they spit them out again. Verizon has already backtracked about forcing their users to switch to AOL adresses. I guess some of them threatened dire consequences. Next might be an option to use Thunderbird instead of the AOL mail interface. Since Verizon makes more money from texting, AOL Instant Messenger will probably be phased out by summer. It will be more fun to watch from a safe distance, than to be a victim of either of those giants. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?" The mathematician said: "Never." The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time." The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts The reason why the word "best" is in the recipe is because this dish always converts the brussels sprouts naysayers by first bite. Deconstructing the sprout by serving it in loose leaf form helps those who compare the little vegetable to "mushy alien heads." Mushy alien heads? Yes! That's what I called them for 28 years! Now, cooked properly, I absolutely adore them. And guess what? This recipe has only three ingredients and takes 10 minutes to make. I have served this at Thanksgiving dinner numerous times and even the little ones loved it. Give it a shot! Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! By attosa [139] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A loaded mini van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some awesome display of teamwork ! What's your system ?" The father replied, "It's quite simple: No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up." ___________________________________________________
Every scene leaves you wanting to see more
____________________________________________________ The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run.' With this the platoon cheered, as Private Peters was a bit overweight and quite slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be my driver in my new jeep ." ____________________________________________________ (Read this one out loud) Miss Addy asked Johnnie why he was late. You see, at the ranch this here coyote it ate six hens and killed the goat. And last night when Pa heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and said, "That coyote's back again! Stay back, he told all us kids, I wouldn't want ya hurt! He was naked as a jaybird- no pants, no boots, no shirt! To the henhouse there he crawled, like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that double barrel, through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, Our ol' hound Zeke come asneakin'up behind. And cold-nosed Pa without no warnin'. We been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'! ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders One of the things that I liked to do when feeling a bit down was to get in my car and drive (gas was cheap back in the 70s). At the time I drove a small Opel Kadet and living in St. Louis, I could start out on I-70, and make connecting highways then drive the circle (about 70 miles) around the city. I’d take the circle once or twice and usually felt better. This particular night I decided to take I-40 west just to see where it went, I’d turn around and come back into the city when I tired. It was a little after midnight. Several miles out, I found a small road that I’d never seen before and I decided to explore it. I’d gone quite a few hundred yards down the road when it narrowed and I realized I was was a long driveway. At that point it was too far to back up, and there was no place to turn around, so I was forced to drive on and turn around when I got to the yard which was at the top of a hill. So late at night, I drove slowly up the hill, hoping to not disturb the people who lived there and was in the process of turning around to go back to the highway when out of the dark came at least five or six men. They rushed my car, pounded on the hood several times while at the same time hollering. I was terrified! Luckily my windows were rolled up and the doors locked. One got close to my window and must have seen my fear in my face, because he immediately stopped and told the others to cool it. It seems that they were expecting a friend to stop by and they thought I was he. That cured me of driving down lonely dark roads at midnight. Noella ____________________________________________________
Who would have thought this dead tree could be so beautiful.

Today, November 28, in
1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the 
 Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American 
 strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first 
 European to sail the Pacific from the east. 
1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 
1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first 
 public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, 
 "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 
1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 
1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the 
 Coconut Grove. 
1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic 
 within the French community. 
1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would 
 be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor. 
 The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of 
 residents. 
1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape Kennedy 
 on a course set for Mars. 
1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 
1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in 
 Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 
1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab 
 in its cargo bay. 
1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning 
 Northern Ireland. 
1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian Ocean. 
 All 159 people aboard were killed. 
1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 
1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen 
 attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 
1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to death 
 in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 
1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that 
 ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 
2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. 
 diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or 
 "confidential." 
2015  smiled.


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Verizon > AOL 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Tennessee teacher, who was arrested for having sex with a student half her age for about 5 months. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 27, in 1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an automobile through Central Park in New York City. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck. --- Adam Clayton Powell Jr. (1908 - 1972) "A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's." --- Richard Whately "When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality." --- Al Capone (1899-1947) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sue has the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All she has to do is mention it to her husband and he says, "Let's eat out!" ______________________________________________________ A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally, even though the rancher insisted that a prize bull was worth five times what an ordinary bull is worth, he agreed to be satisfied with just half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check and cashed it in at the store, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one single witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Serena Rae Milan 28, Knoxville, Tennessee
Tennessee teacher arrested on sex abuse charges A Knox County teacher was arrested on sexual abuse charges involving a 14 year old student. News outlets report 28-year-old Serena Rae Milan turned herself in to authorities Wednesday at the Roger D. Wilson Detention Facility. A presentment shows she faces multiple charges including statutory rape by an authority figure, solicitation of a minor, sexual exploitation of a minor and sexual activity involving a minor. She worked at Northwest Middle School and resigned in July. The presentment alleges Milan repeatedly engaged in various sexual acts with a 14-year-old student from February to July. In a statement, defense attorney Gregory Isaacs says Milan "intends to accept responsibility for her actions while a teacher in the Knox County Schools system."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter, the Stonecarver Re: Verizon > AOL Dear Webby, Tell the subscribers if they have a Verizon address, they will need to convert it to an AOL address by spring. Walter Dear Walter Considering the dumb stuff they are known for, it is not really a surprise. Your link to Verizon Email explains it all. There has been an update to that: You can continue to use your Verizon address, but you have to register with AOL and use their email system. Thanks to Walter for this alert! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One of my first evenings back from a business trip, my girl's understanding parents left us alone in the living room. Naturally, we did not talk all the time. In the midst of a kiss, I noticed her little sister in her nightgown watching us from the top of the stairway. I told her: "If you will be a good girl and go to bed, I will give you a quarter." Without taking the bribe or saying a word, she ran off but soon was back again. "Here is a dollar," she said. "I wanna watch." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts The reason why the word "best" is in the recipe is because this dish always converts the brussels sprouts naysayers by first bite. Deconstructing the sprout by serving it in loose leaf form helps those who compare the little vegetable to "mushy alien heads." Mushy alien heads? Yes! That's what I called them for 28 years! Now, cooked properly, I absolutely adore them. And guess what? This recipe has only three ingredients and takes 10 minutes to make. I have served this at Thanksgiving dinner numerous times and even the little ones loved it. Give it a shot! Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! By attosa [139] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There was this bank where the employees went on strike leaving the bank officers to do the teller's tasks. While the strike was on, Jane called the bank, and asked if they were open. They told her they had two windows open upstairs in the office area. Then Jane asked, . . . "I'm afraid of heights, couldn't you just let me in though the back door?" ___________________________________________________
power like you've never seen!
____________________________________________________ The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it." ____________________________________________________ Sam and Greg, two guys who both could play Santa without having to use a pillow to ensure their circumference is close to the same as their height, are in a pub. Sam indicating his empty glass, says to Greg, "Your round." Sam looks Greg in the eye and says, "So are you, Buddy !" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thank you to Bonnie in Candia for her blunder: Some years ago I was trying, to remove a label from a 3-liter bottle of cola. As I had done so many times before, I used a very sharp razor blade knife to carefully cut the label. Uh oh! Not careful enough. The bottle exploded. In my kitchen. All OVER my kitchen. Including an open silverware drawer. And the ceiling. The first thing I did was cry. Then I got busy. Real busy. It took me three hours to clean the entire mess, all the while thanking all the angels that it was DIET cola and not sticky. I probably don't need to say that I never, ever tried to do that again! Noella -------------------- The steam from a steam iron set to max and a plastic scraper work very well to get the labels off, even on ancient jam jars. DearWebby ____________________________________________________
An amazing Origami artist. Since I have chickens I especially like the rooster.

Today, November 27, in
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. 
1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive 
 an automobile through Central Park in New York City. 
1910 New York's Pennsylvania Station opened. 
1934 The U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was 
 killed by FBI agents near Barrington, IL. 
1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor 
 Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside 
 City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 
1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines 
 Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 
1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish 
 accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of 
 British-ruled Northern Ireland. 
1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian 
 jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's 
 international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug 
 traffickers. 
1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow 
 President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months. 
2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out of 
 service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched on 
 September 20, 1967. 
2015  smiled.


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Help with free trial versions 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 26

If you are in the US, happy Thanksgiving Day!

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NYC man who snorted heroin during police interview Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 26, in 1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. --- William Saroyan (1908 - 1981) The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two neighbors who had been rivals all their lives followed different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop. As fate would have it, they happened to meet at an Airport. The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly, "Oh porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?" The Admiral approached, bowed, and said "Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?" ______________________________________________________ A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not nice to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to pee just tell me that you have to 'whisper'." The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper." The father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vincent Arcona 27, Medford NY
NYC man who snorted heroin during police interview While in police custody for his alleged connection to a fatal shooting near the so-called "Zombie McDonald's" by Penn Station, "person of interest" Vincent Arcona pulled something interesting out of his person. According to a criminal complaint from the Manhattan DA, Arcona was in a police station interview room when he "reached into his buttocks area" and produced a small package containing heroin. Magic. NYPD Detective Adrian Calemmo says Arcona then placed the heroin on the table in front of him and snorted it. Mission accomplished, he then allegedly tossed the packaging on the floor, under the table, where the detective says he later recovered it. Asked about the packaging, Arcona allegedly admitted that it had previously contained heroin, back when it was up inside his butt. Arcona has not been charged with anything in connection to the fatal shooting yet, but on Saturday he was arraigned on charges of evidence tampering and criminal possession of a controlled substance. He's being held on $25,000 bail. The suspect in the shooting, Francisco Alsina, 23, was reportedly arrested in Rhode Island on Friday and is awaiting extradition back to NYC. Investigators believe he fatally shot Angel Quińones, 43, and wounded two others last Monday morning during a dispute over drug dealing turf.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Problem with free trial Dear Webby, Hi Webby - Wanted to tell you about the problem I have been having since I downloaded the free trial of McAfee. About 10 times a day I get a pop up from McAfee stating my firewall is off. I have to go to there and turn it on again. It just doesn't seem to stay on. Today I got a notice that my computer has not been protected for the last 15 days which is about when I downloaded the free trial version and I only has about 2 weeks left for my free version. Any help with this problem would be appreciated or an 800 number that I could call to speak to someone for help. Thanks again, Wendy Dear Wendy I have used the paid version since 1987, and don't really know anything about the free version. Re the FireWall: You probably have set Windows to use the Windows FireWall. That clashes with the McAfee Firewall. Tech Support with most companies usually just works for the paid version. I doubt that McAfee is an exception there. However, you can try sneaking in through this Back Door Have the email you used to sign up handy. Keep in mind, if you DO get any support for the free trial, it is probably very low wage Taliban, who are paid by the minute. They will waste endless time just identifying you and your version. When you are ready to get the full version, don't try to sneak around me. You'll wind up paying full price. Get it via http://webby.com/mac at half price. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A priest went into a Washington, D.C. barbershop and got his hair cut. He then asked how much he owed the barber. "No charge, Father," the barber said. "I consider it a service to the Lord." When the barber arrived at his shop the next morning, he found a dozen small prayer booklets on the stoop along with a thank you note from the priest. A few days later, a police officer came in. "How much do I owe you?" the cop asked after his haircut. "No charge, officer," the barber answered. "I consider it a service to my community." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts on the stoop along with a thank you note from the police officer. A few days after that, a Senator walked in for a haircut. "How much do I owe you?" he asked afterward. "No charge," the barber replied. "I consider it a service to my country." The next morning when he arrived at the shop, the barber found a dozen Senators waiting on the stoop. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Paper Towel as Coffee Filter Substitute While staying at my son's cottage in a remote area, I ran out of coffee filters this morning. It didn't take me long to try a basic (Bounty 1/2) sheet and it worked wonderfully in the coffeemaker. By Esther C. [2] Rinsing used coffee filters works fine too. I don't like throwing wet grounds into the garbage, because that promotes rotting and smelling, and because the myth that coffee grounds are good for plants is BS, I often just rinse used coffee filters and drape them over a plastic can to dry. They are surprisingly strong and durable. Plumbers claim that rinsing coffee grounds down the drain helps keeping it clean and from ever stopping up. I have to agree. The only stopped up kitchen sink I have ever seen was in cartoons. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While working as a volunteer at our local Boy Scout Council office, one of the professional staff -- who was wearing street clothes instead of her usual uniform -- was talking about the International Phonetic Alphabet. She said that she had learned it some years ago and proceeded to recite it. "Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta..." When she got to the letter "U," she stumbled and asked for help. I offered a hint: "What *aren't* you wearing today?" "Oh, Underwear !" she replied ___________________________________________________
Top Secret drum corp - Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2012
____________________________________________________ The following classified ad was in the Austin American Statesman newspaper, under the pets & livestock, exotic animal section, on Wednesday, 09/10/1997: PETS & LIVESTOCK - Exotic Animals Mixed breed female free to good home. Lazy and sloppy, shots current, more or less house broken, has license, owns transportation. Enjoys music, dancing & late hours, seldom is home. Beautiful markings, 22 yr old, sometimes answers to `Dorothy.' Call DP# 625-1448. Mother is fed up and wants to clean house. ____________________________________________________ One day came home from school and said: "Dad, today I learned that we are all descendants of the apes." "NOT TRUE!", his father thundered, but then conceded: "Well, YOU might be a descendant of an ape, but I am NOT!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to my sister Rita for her blunder My husband Milt wanted hard-boiled eggs so we got out half a dozen and put them in warm water to warm them up a bit before boiling. About a half hour later, I passed the pan and turned on the burner. I went to the computer to check Facebook for a bit and then to the couch to watch TV but since I was sleepy I closed my eyes. An hour later, I awoke to the smell of cooking and figured Milt was getting something to eat. After a few minutes, I heard popping and then I was looking forward to popcorn. There was a really LOUD pop. As I jumped up, Milt asked what on earth was going on. We rushed to the kitchen and found the pan had boiled dry with eggs still cooking and popping open and splattering all over the kitchen. We had managed to cook, crack, pop open and chop up the eggs all in one step. It may be a while before we get the smell of burnt eggs out of here. Rita Noella ____________________________________________________
An artist in pumpkin carving.

Today, November 26, in
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on display 
 in Boston, MA. 
1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe 
 the adoption of the Constitution of the United States. 
1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City. 
1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. 
1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed 
 in Montreal, Canada. 
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King 
 Tutankhamen. 
1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to live 
 within a walled ghetto. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill 
 establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving 
 Day. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide 
 gasoline rationing to begin December 1. 
1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere
1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a guided 
 missile. The German missile attack led to the death of 
 1,015 U.S. troops. 
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to 
 retreat. 
1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th NHL 
 career goal. 
1965 France became the third country to enter space when it 
 launched its first satellite the Diamant-A. 
1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal jury 
 in Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S. President Ford 
 on September 5. 
1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit China 
 after a 21-year absence. 
1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was 
 robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth 
 nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been 
 recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist. 
1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were acquired 
 by Random House for $3,000,000. 
1986 U.S. President Reagan appointed a commission headed by 
 former Sen. John Tower to investigate his National Security 
 Council staff after the Iran-Contra affair. 
1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser Arafat, 
 who was seeking permission to travel to New York to address 
 the U.N. General Assembly. 
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi Foreign 
 Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that Iraq withdraw 
 from Kuwait. 
1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire MCA Inc. 
 for $6.6 billion. 
1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II had 
 volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal income. She 
 also took her children off the public payroll. 
1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn 
 borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally burned. 
1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling 
 and would run for president in 2000. 
2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that censured Iran 
 for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it would be policed 
 to put to rest suspicions that the country had a weapons agenda. 
2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched from 
 Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars rover Curiosity 
 landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August 6, 2012. 
2015  smiled.


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Get rid of installed programs 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 25

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas man arrested for assaulting his girlfriend because she would not smell his armpits. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 25, in 1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian corn. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. --- Sam Levenson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The following was overheard at a recent party. "My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?" "I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood." ______________________________________________________ Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robinson Pinilla-Bolivar 24, Midland, Texas
Texas man arrested for assaulting his girlfriend because she would not smell his armpits. A man in Midland, Texas was arrested on charges of assault for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend for refusing to smell his armpit. According to News West 9, 24-year-old Robinson Pinilla-Bolivar asked his girlfriend to smell his armpit, and when she refused, an argument erupted. During the argument, police said Pinilla-Bolivar punched the woman in the back of the head and attempted to stab her with a knife. The victim fled to the office of the apartment complex the pair was in. Police said Pinilla-Bolivar then began dragging the woman from the office, but fled when he learned police had been notified and officers were en route. He was later arrested amid a traffic stop and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jean Re: Get rid of installed programs Dear Webby, My internet experience is severely limited in comparison to yours. I have only worked with two email systems. One a government mainframe, that was obsolete even before it went online, and Yahoo. Consequently, Yahoo is far superior in my opinion. I have used it for years and years. With the exception of a few mishaps, I am content to work with Yahoo's time frame/system. I do have annoyances with the viruses, & etcetera, I've managed to find but have been able to survive. I appreciate your concern about my inability and/or desire not to change. I am one of those, "if it works, don't fix it" types. Plus I hate change. Being on the internet, this is not a good quality, but it is me. I do have a gmail account but have not been able to access it. If I cannot access it, what good is it? Now to the problem: You are talking way above my head here. How does one find out what AVG calls the add-on? How does one find if McAfee has the add on? Or if it is an Add-on from Firefox? I like easiest first please. I apologize for my ignorance but all my training has been in different areas and hasn't melded together yet. Thank you for your patience. Did Facebook ever allow your DearWebby page back on line? From what little I have read on it, very little that is, they should have. I am not good there either. Sincerely, Janice Dear Janice I can understand your desire to not change. I have used Eudora for email since 1993, and don't plan to change in the forseeable future. With your Gmail account, come onto Skype and I will step you through setting that up correctly. I use a Gmail account on the side and know how it works. My Skype handle is dearwebby. Re the AVG add-on, first check FireFox Add-Ons. Click on the 3 horizontal bars for the menu. Click on the icon, that looks like a puzzle piece. That shows all your add-ons. If you see any in there, that you are not using any more, remove them. That should make it easier to search through them and spot anything related to AVG. When you find that, remove it. Weeding out the add-ons will speed up your browsing quite nicely. If you still get the AVG nuisance on the browser tabs or icons, then you have to get nasty. Click on START Paste into the run line: appwiz.cpl and hit ENTER. After a while "Programs and Features" from Control Panel, All Control Panel Items, Programs and Features, opens. It's just a shortcut. If you prefer, you can slowly mouse to there. Once that has opened, you can look at all the applications installed. Look for anything starting with AVG. Unless you are planning to get McAfee, don't remove the AVG virus scanner. Look for something like "AVG Web". Once you have removed that, your FireFox won't trundle all the way back to AVG's server to check if a web site has been approved by them. If somebody often goes to dangerous sites, then they should install Malwarebytes. It checks sites quite fast and unobtrusively. Re FaceBook: No, they still insist that I use my passport name, not the name everybody knows me by. Well, that saves me at least five minutes a day. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jenifer's big formal wedding was fast approaching and she was delighted to hear that her Mom, Sheilah, just after a nasty divorce, had finally found the perfect mother-of-the-bride dress. Two days later, she was shocked to learn that her father's new wife, Fawn, had purchased the same dress. She asked her Fawn to buy another dress since her Mom had already altered hers to fit better. Fawn refused. After two more weeks of frustrating shopping, Sheila found a dress that was not as nice as the first, but would serve. When asked by a friend what she would do with her original dress, she grinned and replied, "I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clothespin to Store Earbuds This is a great tip I found on Pinterest to keep earbuds from getting tangled in a drawer or your purse. Put the earbuds in the space where the clamp opens. Wind the wires around the prongs. Weave in the end so it doesn't unravel. Source: Pinterest By Judy [26] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Jean Michigan State Police announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles, along with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, two tons of heroin, $12 million in cash, and a ring of 14 prostitutes, all in a housing project behind the Detroit Public Library. Detroit folks were stunned. A community organizer said, "We is shocked" "We never knew we had a library." ___________________________________________________
blooming cacti
____________________________________________________ >From Elsie Two men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. Shortly after they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them that was not in the contract, but that I would gladly do it for $50. ____________________________________________________ One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?" In one voice they all replied, "You, daddy." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to Linda B for her blunder today: I was visiting some friends who live at the Grand Canyon. Missing my own dog, I took theirs for a short walk. It was getting dark, and let me just say, when it gets dark out there, it gets DARK! Not even starlight because of the cloud cover. Their street was basically a circle so what could go wrong? Besides I could use the flashlight on my cell phone. However, I discovered my cell phone battery was as close to dead as it could get. Next thing I knew I was lost - on a circle street! The only available light was from passing cars, which I was trying to flag down hoping to see if anyone could tell me my location. At one point a car looked liked it was headed straight for us, so we stepped off the road and fell smack into a ditch! My first inkling that I wouldn't be walking anywhere was after crawling out and trying to put my weight on my ankle - it just flopped over. I kept trying to flag down cars, and before long a Ranger stopped; then more appeared. At that point, everything stopped, traffic and all. One ranger took the dog home, another wrote the report and two more stopped traffic. I swear they multiplied right before my eyes! A little over an hour and three ambulances later I arrived at the hospital in Flagstaff. Both bones in my ankle were broken, and my heel had been pushed forward and so far to the left it might as well have been in Utah. Of course none of that mattered, because by then I was higher than a kite and everything was hysterically funny! They have good drugs in those ambulances, and even better ones in the hospital. My happy ending: After a couple of months in physical therapy, I'm walking without assistance and without a limp! Linda Noella ____________________________________________________
This Grave In Paris Is Packing A Secret.

Today, November 25, in
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to 
 be granted an English patent for cleaning and curing 
 Indian corn. 
1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured 
 Fort Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh. 
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated 
 New York. New York was their last military position in 
 the U.S. 
1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom. 
1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in 
 exchange for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public 
 debts and settle border disputes. 
1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite. 
1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk. 
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan 
 and Germany, was signed. 
1947 Movie studio executives meeting in New York agreed to 
 blacklist the "Hollywood 10," who were cited a day earlier 
 and jailed for contempt of Congress when they failed to 
 cooperate with the House Un-American Activities Committee. 
1955 In the U.S., the Interstate Commerce Commission banned 
 racial segregation on interstate trains and buses. 
1970 Japanese author Yukio Mishima committed ritual suicide 
 after giving a speech attacking Japan's post-war constitution. 
1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against 
 the Detroit Lions. 
1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a cease-fire
 in the PLO civil war in Lebanon. 
1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese 
 revealed that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had been 
 diverted to rebels in Nicaragua. National Security Advisor 
 John Poindexter resigned and Oliver North was fired. 
1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election. 
1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into separate 
 Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1, 1993. 
1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt 
 on his life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants 
 near his motorcade. 
1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean dictator 
 Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought by Spain, 
 could not claim immunity from prosecution for the crimes he 
 committed during his rule. 
1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first visit 
 to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II. 
1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5 
 billion bailout for Pakistan.
2015  smiled.


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AVG nuisance on FireFox 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 24

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a California high school teacher arrested for sex with a number of underage boys Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 24, in 1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were both 14 years old. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was a boy of about 8 who was having a horrible time with his grades in school - math was especially bad. His parents tried everything, but nothing worked, so his parents ended up sending him to a school in Canada. Well, when report card time rolled around, his parents took it, and, with much trepidation, opened it little by little...and saw an A, then another A, and another...however, the final grade was the dreaded one - the mathematics... Well, they opened the page, and saw an A! Incredible! They asked their son what had brought the turnaround, especially in that troubling subject. He said, "Well, when I walked into the classroom, and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they took their math pretty seriously." ______________________________________________________ Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Now, where's my bucket and my water?" Gramma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" cried Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michelle Yeh, 28, San Pedro, California
California high school teacher arrested for sex with a number of underage boys Former San Pedro High School substitute teacher Michelle Yeh appeared in Long Beach court Friday afternoon facing charges of sex-related allegations involving teenage boys. Yeh looked at the 15-year-old boy on the stand as he told the court about alleged sexual acts with his 28-year-old substitute biology teacher. One incident he testified happened in his bedroom. "We started having sex on the bed, but it was making a lot of noise, so we laid down on the carpet," he said. The boy, not being identified because he's a juvenile, alleged Yeh bought him an Xbox 360 and gave him money for things, including marijuana. Prosecutors allege there were more than 70 text messages between Yeh and that student. The boy is one of four alleged victims testifying in a Long Beach courtroom. Yeh plead not guilty in August to felony charges, including oral sex and unlawful sex with a minor under 16 involving two boys. She's also facing misdemeanor charges involving two other teenage boys. Yeh is in custody after allegedly violating a court order last month by texting one of the alleged victims. If convicted, Yeh could face up to nine years and eight months in prison.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: AVG nuisance on FireFox Dear Webby, Question: My Firefox icon managed to get an AVG shield attached to it. This makes a request every time I log into the internet to make changes. It is very annoying. How can I unattached the little debugger to keep it from slowing the internet process? Janice McAfee has had a WebShield for many years, and AVG decided to copy that. Unfortunately, their copy is rather slow, especially so when you are already handicapped by Yahoo. Try to find out what exactly AVG calls that add-on, and then dump it. You should be able to UNinstall it from the control panel, programs. Depending on how closely they copied McAfee, it will be a separate application, and UNinstalling it will not kill your regular AVG. It might even be an ADD-On in FireFox. Check that first, since that would be the easiest. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A woman from the southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries." Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Motion Detector Lights for Home Security Exterior motion detecting lights do not cost a great deal more than other types of outside lighting. Of course, they're sometimes activated by leaves blown about by the wind, but I particularly like them for the back of the house as well as the alley. Battery operated smaller versions are available for interior windows and don't require mounting or electronic know-how: simply put them on the window ledge. Anyone peering in hoping for a closer look at your possessions or wanting to break in will be under a spotlight and, if you're awake, the light going on will alert you to a potential intruder. Depending on your level of concern, consider investing in noise-making motion detectors (which can cost as little as $10 each) for your ground floor and/or basement windows. Make a note to check or replace the batteries on a regular basis. By Rose Anne Hutchence [7] You can even get motion detector (plastic) dogs, that produce a very credible bark. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face."Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" ___________________________________________________
The KFPS Royal Friesian Horse
The KFPS Royal Friesian Horse ____________________________________________________ A 93 year old man went to his doctor to get a physical. A week later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with an attractive young woman on his arm. At the man's next visit, the doctor said, "I saw you with a lady the other day. You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful." "Too late! I like my version a lot better." ____________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong," the second woman answered. "First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching a lot of fish, and HE didn't catch any!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to Karyn for today's blunder: I do love my hair, but it is really, really wild! It's so wild, in fact, that I have to watch and make sure it gets in the car after me so I don't close the door on my hair. One day, however, when I got back to work from lunch, I noticed people were looking at me funny and sniffing. Finally, someone asked me what I'd had to eat. It was then that I realized the sardines I'd had for lunch were all in my hair! Ugh!!!! Karyn Noella ____________________________________________________
Everyone loves a parade and the Fijian police parade looks like a lot of fun.

Today, November 24, in
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were 
 both 14 years old. 
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the 
 Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his 
 theory of evolution through the process of natural selection. 
1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain 
 began in Tennessee. 
1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated in the U.S. 
1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed 
 fencing material. 
1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric 
 self-starter for an automobile. 
1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Over 
 the next three years the population dropped from 350,000 to 
 70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to 
 concentration camps. 
1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese 
 capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 
1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress 
 for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist 
 influence in their industry. 
1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey 
 Oswald live on national television. 
1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing an 
 end to the second manned mission to the moon. 
1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted from 
 a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with 
 $200,000 in ransom. 
1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six Israeli 
 prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 Palestinians 
 and Lebanese held by the Israelis. 
1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian jetliner. 
 60 people died in the raid. 
1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- and 
 medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower treaty to 
 eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 
1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned 
 after more than a week of protests against its policies. 
1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141 people. 
1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the Brady 
 handgun control bill. 
1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) were 
 convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of Liverpool, 
 England. They were both sentenced to "indefinite detention" 
 but released after 5 years.
1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a constitutional 
 amendment legalizing divorce. 
1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event to be held in Japan. 
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase of 
 Netscape for $4.21 billion, which they promptly killed and used
 Internet Explorer instead.
2015  smiled.


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No question 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 23

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a drunk Florida woman arrested in a grease dumpster Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 23, in 1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at the Palais Royale Saloon. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ It's kind of fun to do the impossible. --- Walt Disney (1901 - 1966) Man is the only animal that goes to sleep when he's not sleepy and gets up when he is. --- Dave Gneiser ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there. "Here," she said, handing him the coats. "This time you put the children into their coats, and I'll go outside and honk the horn." ______________________________________________________ An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of three hundred miles." A sarcastic member of the group asked, "What on earth would one whale say to another, three hundred miles away?" "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww?'!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anna Marzita Shinkle, 54, Fort Myers, Florida
Drunk Florida woman falls asleep in grease dumpster Anna Marzita Shinkle is charged with drunken disorderly conduct and resisting an officer after falling asleep at the Lani Kai Island Resort's grease dumpster just before 2 a.m. Saturday, according to an Lee County Sheriff's Office report. "The female was unresponsive and covered in grease with a shirt on and her pants down at her ankles," the report states. The deputy woke her up, told her he was a deputy sheriff and that the fire department was also there to help her. She responded "by stating 'go **** yourself'...then continuously stuck her middle finger up at him." and he said it didn't end there adding "she was going to cut us and **** us up." "The fire department attempted to assist the woman, but she held onto the grease dumpster making it extremely difficult to remove her." According to the report, deputies and firefighters, "warned the female that if she did not comply she would be tased... as soon as the female threatened us again and took an aggressive fighting stance, I tased the female." She then complied with officers, was transported to Health Park hospital "to have the taser probes removed" and went to jail. Shinkle is out on bond and scheduled to appear in court next month.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Re: no Question Dear Webby, No Answer DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Later, it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easily Remove Grease from Ground Beef Whenever I browned hamburger meat for tacos, spaghetti, or whatever, I used to take the meat out of the pan, transfer it to a strainer to drain the grease and then return it to the pan to finish cooking. I have found an easier way to handle the excess grease without all the work. This is so much easier and less mess to clean up. Just brown the meat, tilt the frying pan so the grease drains to one side. Take a couple of paper towels and soak up the grease, the more grease there is the more paper towels need to be used. Remove the grease soaked paper towels and discard on a paper plate or some other type of container. Then toss the paper towels in the trash. I use this method all the time now and it's so much easier. By Ida Claire [5] Have FUN! DearWebby Instead of wasting paper towels and burning my fingers I use a plate to hold back the meat, and let the grease drain into a low, empty can, that I give to the birds. Especially in winter they love grease and crumbs. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?" And the minister said, "Lady, I'm in sales, not in tech support." ___________________________________________________
Cooper eats ice cream
Air New Zealand safety video ____________________________________________________ A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it." ____________________________________________________ As the bus pulled away, Cindy realized she had left her purse under the seat. She called the company and was relieved that the driver had found it. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded her. One man handed her her empty purse, four typewritten pages and a bushel box containing the contents of her purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to Shantell for her blunder submission: I usually fall asleep listening to the sound of thunderstorms and rain. It's an app on my Kindle. One night I got sooo caught up in the sound I got up and covered myself because I thought I was getting wet from the rain. (Bear in mind it was an app playing) Shantell Noella ____________________________________________________
Amazing never seen before creatures from the deep.

Today, November 23, in
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act. 
1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing machine. 
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at 
 the Palais Royale Saloon. 
1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands at 
 the age of 10 when her father William III died. 
1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of 
 Tarawa and Makin from the Japanese during the Central Pacific 
 offensive in the Gilbert Islands. 
1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended. 
1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens. 
1946 Mound Metalcraft changed its name to Tonka Toys Inc. 
1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital 
 from Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo. 
1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United 
 Nations Security Council. 
1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life 
 imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten. 
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were killed 
 in a series of earthquakes. 
1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West 
 Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International 
 Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva. 
1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested 
 and accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a year 
 after his conviction. 
1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from Athens 
 to Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta. 
1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League goal. 
1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she had 
 witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two other 
 people at the Jose Simeon Canas University in El Salvador, 
 was flown to the U.S. 
1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen Electra. 
 The two had been married on November 14, 1998. 
1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil settlement. 
 It was a $206-billion deal to resolve remaining state claims 
 for treating sick smokers. 
1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's effort to 
 block pornography on library computer calling the attempt 
 unconstitutional. 
2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. 
2015  smiled.


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Remove ads from recipes 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 22

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk NYC real estatebroker steals taxi. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 22, in 1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. --- Josh Billings Women only have two complaints. Nothing to wear, and not enough closet space for it." --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! "Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish." The wife quickly chimed in, "I want to travel around the world." The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and, POOF! He was 90. ______________________________________________________ While at a government office, a voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency. Whenever there is a telphone outage, the speaker system will automatically take over for all inter-office communication. When the phones are off and the speakers are on, please do not relay any confidential information." Then the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please phone the help desk." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kinga Tabares, 27, NYC NY
NYC real estate broker was so drunk she allegedly stole a NYC taxi cab and went for a wild ride. This NY real estate broker was so drunk and wild the cab driver drove straight to the closet NYPD station to have them help him deal with her. It's a NY city cab driver who did this. They see the best and the worst of NYC, so for this cab driver to drive straight to the police station just shows how much of a drunken mess this 27 year old woman must have been. When he went into the station to get the cops, she jumped in the drivers seat and ttook off in his taxi. When the cops find her she's in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan throwing up out of the drivers window. Drinking too much is not a good look, especially for a Douglas Elliman real estate broker, no matter how cute a hypnotist she is. Stealing a cab and drunk driving will hopefully get her some time to sober up and settle down.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Clean ads from recipes Dear Webby, About those recipes - I copy lots from Thrifty Fun too, and other sites with ads, and I have no clue what you just advised to avoid them. What I do is just copy everything & paste it somewhere, then just go through it & delete everything I don't want. Pictures go with one right click & delete, other stuff may have to be highlighted but it works for me. Bonnie in NH Dear Bonnie Great idea and a lot faster than I had been doing it. I will upgrade to doing it your way right now! Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A wealthy old man looked around the table at his two sons and five daughters and their spouses gathered for a family reunion. "Not a single grandchild," he said with a sigh. "Kids, when I was busy getting us securely established, were a nuisance, but grandchildren would be a pleasure, now that I would have time for them. I'll give a million dollars to the first kid who presents me with a little one to bounce on my knee. Now, let's say grace." ... When the old man lifted his eyes again, his wife was the only other person at the table. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Magic Lampshade This is a way to create an easy and fun, magic lampshade customized by you! Approximate Time: approximately 10 minutes Supplies: white lampshade black Sharpie pen Steps: Take a white lampshade and draw anything you want inside with a black Sharpie pen. You can look on the internet or books for ideas. Shadow puppet images are helpful. I chose Mary Poppins. I drew it free hand in case sketching would be visible. As a result I don't know if sketches will show. Turn the light on and, voila, surprise! There you are - Mary Poppins. Entertain your friends and family, or just sit back and enjoy your creation. :) By KIM HOGGAN [18] If you don't like drawing, you can cut out suitable pictures and glue them to the inside of the lamp shade. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. After surveying all the stuff he piled onto the check-out conveyor, the check-out clerk remarked: "If you ever want to experiment with spaghetti, you better get some professional help!" ___________________________________________________
Air New Zealand safety video
Air New Zealand safety video ____________________________________________________ Watching her mother as she put on her new fur coat, young Jackie said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize how much some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?" The woman shot her an angry look, "Jackie, how dare you talk about your father like that!" ____________________________________________________ The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?" "No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time. The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view. Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the brakes, pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady." "Is this Oriskany Falls?" "YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!" "Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my first blood pressure pill." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thank you to Bonnie for submitting her blunder: We haul our own trash to the dump (ok, recycle/transfer station). Last week while there I asked one of the employees to break down an especially tough box that I wanted to recycle. He was so nice to help and while he was breaking it down, I even asked him what to do with used lawnmower oil & the filter. It was then that he told me that he didn't work there but was glad to help out! How embarrassing! Bonnie Noella ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, November 22, in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland 
 for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 
1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed 
 during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British 
 soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was 
 shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 
1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated
1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin adopted 
 the SOS distress signal. 
1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed publicly. 
1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA, when 
 the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila. The craft 
 was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 
1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade 
 in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also seriously 
 wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was inaugurated as the 
 36th U.S. President. 
1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The resolution 
 called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had captured in 
 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's right to exist. 
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American travel 
 to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963. 
1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of 
 Gen. Francisco Franco. 
1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid 
 $4 million for the broadcast rights. 
1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between 
 New York and Europe. 
1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S. 
 nuclear missiles in West Germany. 
1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. 
 It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 
1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential 
 area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 
1986 Attorney Generel Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel 
 Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be 
 sent to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran. 
1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world heavyweight-
 boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 
1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba 
 and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from Angola. 
1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less 
 than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded 
 next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara
 shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 
1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American 
 Free Trade Agreement. 
1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a 
 gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the 
 gunman were killed in the gun battle. 
1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire 
 in response to a retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 
1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving 
 lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient. 
 Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for 
 second-degree murder. 
2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female chancellor. 
2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 
2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The dinosaur 
 skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern Utah. 
2015  smiled.


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Recipes without ads 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 21

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Utah man upset at missing his child's birth called in bomb threat. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 20, in 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. --- Robert Anton Wilson I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, "It's not all the devil's fault; she's not that easy to get along with either on some days." ______________________________________________________ Sad, but unfortunately aparently true: From the Florida News Network: Hugh Friday, a teacher at Forest Hill High School, ran a stop sign and was pulled over. After receiving a ticket, Friday who is supposed to be a role model to the teenagers in the school, pulled up to the stop sign, stood up in the front seat of his car, looked in an exaggerated and prolonged gaze in both directions for others cars, and immediately received another ticket for "obstructing a roadway." He was convicted on both charges. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Morlang, 26, in jail in Idaho
Utah man upset at missing his child's birth calls in bomb threat. A Utah man accused of calling in a hospital bomb threat because he was upset he couldn't attend his child's birth is now being charged in federal court. Michael Morlang was indicted Wednesday and faces up to 10 years if convicted, the U.S. Attorney's Office in Utah said in a news release. The threat led to an evacuation and lockdown on Sept. 17 at a hospital in the small central Utah city of Richfield. His wife and her father told investigators the day of the incident that Morlang made the bomb threat because he was angry about not being there for the birth, show court documents from state charges filed earlier this year. The woman's father also told investigators that Morlang was upset because he heard his wife was going to have a procedure to prevent having more pregnancies. A nurse told police she spoke with Morlang, and that he was "extremely upset that they were going forward with the birth" while he was still in Idaho. Morlang acted like he didn't know of a threat when reached by phone that day while on a bus back to Idaho, Richfield City police investigators said in court documents. They weren't able to connect with him after that. Morlang is custody in Idaho on unrelated crime. It's not clear if he has an attorney. The Utah state charge filed in September against Morlang, one count of threat of terrorism, are being dismissed now that the federal government is pursuing charges, said U.S. Attorney's Office spokeswoman Melodie Rydalch.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lesley Re: Recipes without ads Dear Webby, Whenever you show a recipe from Thriftyfun, you got just the recipe without the pesky ads they spit into the middle of theirs. When I try to copy one, I always get the silly ads, that don't work anyway after copying. What is your secret? Lesley Dear Lesley No secret, just effort. I use NoteTab for all text editing, including the Humor Letter. I copy the heading, for example the name of the recipe, paste it into the text and click on the B to bold it. Then I copy the recipe as far as the first ad, ALT TAB to the text, CTRL V to paste it, ALT TAB back to the recipe. Then I highlight the next portion down to the next ad, copy, ALT TAB, paste. And so on. No secret, just tedious effort. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Morris and Harry were both fanatics about deep sea fishing. Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught. So Morris comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells Harry, "You wouldn't believe, but in the Bahamas I caught a 500 pound herring." Harry says, "That's nothing, last time I fished in the Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken Spanish ship -- and da candle was still burning!" They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying. Finally, Harry said to Morris, "Look Morris, if you take 499 pounds off your herring . . . I'll blow out my candle!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Perfume Dirty Laundry with Orange Peels I am moving from a house to an apartment. All is chaos. I just discovered I confused the laundry basket with the trash - only once. I found that the dirty clothes smelled great thanks to the dried out orange peel. By Joan F. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The teenage beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired as to the reason for her worrying. She informed her friend that her mom was always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend said, " At her age, that's not good at all. Why is she staying up all night?" "She's waiting for me to come home." ___________________________________________________
how to trick your dog into taking a pill
how to trick your dog into taking a pill ____________________________________________________ Wendy was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, Wendy had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, her husband was six-feet-tall so she called him to help. "Hey, James!" Wendy yelled , who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Honey," James remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title 'Your Highness.'" ____________________________________________________ One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?" The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!" To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $1000 to the building fund...." To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I'm all out of blunders right now. I'm sorry. Maybe you could print my suggestion for others to send in theirs? Noella ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, November 21, in
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship discharged 
 the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26, 1620. 
1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon. 
 The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent, 
 Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5˝ miles over Paris. 
1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 
1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph. 
1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit. 
1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures 
 against Cuba. 
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred Buzhardt, 
 announced the presence of an 18˝-minute gap in one of the White 
 House tape recordings related to the Watergate case. 
1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by a 
 mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 
1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino in 
 Las Vegas, NV. 
1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale, 
 LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages. 
1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, issued an apology but refused 
 to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual 
 advances toward 10 women in past years. 
1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia that 
 was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian 
 "safe area" of Bihac. 
1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at a 
 test site in the South Pacific. 
1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned space 
 capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 
2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to keep 
 the presidential recounts going. 
2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers, 
 software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the poorest 
 schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of a deal to 
 settle most of the company's private antitrust lawsuits. 
2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania, 
 Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 
2015  smiled.


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Desk height for typing 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Non-American citizen arrested for voting in Texas — FIVE times Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 20, in 1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A teacher observed a boy entering the classroom with dirty hands. She stopped him and said, "Johnny, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?" With a smile the boy replied, "I think I'd be too polite to mention it." ______________________________________________________ "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my math homework for me?" Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "Why don't you at least try ? Mom can help you with it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosa Maria Ortega, 35, Somerset, Texas
Non-American citizen arrested for voting in Texas — FIVE times – faces up to 20 years A Texas woman, who is not a citizen of the United States, was arrested Friday for having illegally voted in Dallas County — five times. Rosa Maria Ortega, 35, is presently a resident of the Tarrant County Jail, where she is being held on a $10,000 bond, according to the Dallas-Fort Worth NBC affiliate Channel 5 News, which reported: Ortega is married to an American and is living legally in this country, but is not a citizen and therefore, not qualified to vote, said Harry White, who supervises public integrity and white collar crime investigations for the Tarrant County District Attorney. Ortega applied to vote in Tarrant County and acknowledged on the application form that she was not a citizen, White said. The county rejected her application and notified her she was not qualified to vote. Having learned her lesson that only American citizens may vote in Texas, she re-applied five months later, this time claiming to be a U.S. citizen. Although Ortega never voted in Tarrant country, records indicate that she did so five times in neighboring Dallas county — the earliest in a 2004 Republican primary, the latest in the 2014 Republican primary. Her charges — illegal voting — is a second degree felony, punishable by a two to 20 year prison sentence. A running battle between Republicans and Democrats is centered on voter ID laws. More than 30 states currently have some form of voter ID requirement. Republicans claim that such laws are necessary as a protection against voter fraud. Democrats claim stories of voter fraud are overblown and voter ID laws amount to voter suppression.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Desk height for typing Dear Webby, A kitchen table is between 29-30 inches high and a desk is about 27 inches high. For the keyboard it needs the pull-out tray that is at 25 inches from the floor. Noella Dear Noella For somebody as cute as you are, those numbers are probably qite OK. For the rest of us, the guidelines are: (For fastest typing speed without causing discomfort or carpal injury) Back straight, upper arms straight perpendicular, forearms level when the heel of the palm rests on the wrist rest of the keyboard. Luckily nowadays office chairs are cheaper than kitchen chairs and are adjustable in height. For Web-TVers and "Slouch-on-the-couch" FB activists those guidelines of course need to be adjusted a bit. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Joe was on the phone and told his wife what a lousy day it'd been. She asked, "Will you be joining me in the hot tub tonight?" "Wow, how sweet. What a lovely way to spend an evening," he thought. He was just about to tell her how considerate and wonderful she was being when she continued: "'Cuz, if you're not, I need to start adding more water to the tub." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rib-Eye and Roasted Garlic Vegetables This is a nice "put it in the oven and forget it" meal. The meat melts like butter in your mouth. It's so good. We found mixed mini potatoes on sale at the store instead of red potatoes and I forgot to put the onions in the bag, when I made the roast this time. It was still tasty and my kids did a better job eating it, so I might leave them out on purpose next time :) I really love the oven bags for easy meals. Rib-Eye Roast can be VERY expensive so keep an eye out for sales and you can always opt to use a cheaper cut of meat. Approximate Time: 2 1/4 hours Yield: 8 Ingredients: 1 large Reynolds Oven Bag 1 Tbsp flour 1 1/2 tsp oregano 3/4 tsp pepper 1/2 tsp salt 3-3 1/2 lb ribeye roast 1 1/2 lb small red potatoes, halved (I didn't half them) 1 pkg (16 oz) baby carrots 2 med. onions (I forgot them) 1 whole bulb garlic, unpeeled 1 Tbsp butter additional salt and pepper to taste Steps: Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Shake flour in oven bag. Place bag inside a large baking pan. Rub raw beef with oregano, pepper, and salt. Place beef in bag. Arrange veggies in an even layer around roast. Add extra salt and pepper if desired (I would recommend it). Cut 1 inch off the top of the garlic bulb and place in bag. I placed it top down on top of the meat. Close bag and cut 6 - 1/2 inch slits in the top of the bag. Cook for 1 1/2 - 1 3/4 hours or until meat thermometer reads 145 degrees (this took closer to 2 hours). Let meat rest for 10 minutes before slicing. Place vegetables and garlic in bowl and toss with 1 Tbsp. butter. Serve as a side with the sliced meat. I also served with green beans for some color and extra nutrition. Source: Reynolds By Stephanie [154] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. "Get lost, you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one to the other, "it's maybe bad luck to use the back of a Madonna poster, or maybe we should instead put it in not so religious terms and make a sign that just says 'Bridge Out' ?" ___________________________________________________
the story of Jonah - told in the cutest way
the story of Jonah - told in the cutest way ____________________________________________________ We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who was contacted by police to assist in a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect." ____________________________________________________ The spammers from bratan.org sent me some spam asking me to sign their petition that the death penalty for murderers and terrorists be abolished. I told them, quite the opposite, it should be kept, and that spammers should be burned at the stake. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders My bosses finally got new computers and were figuring out how to use them. A few days later, my boss called me into her office and asked if I could show her how to draw a line. Thinking she wanted something exotic, I searched for a way to draw a line for her. Turned out, all she wanted was to add a line after a prompt for filling in the name, like this: ____________________ On her typewriter you could only backspacen and then underline actualtext but not empty spaces. So I introduced her to that new key on the keyboard. Noella ____________________________________________________
Creepy vintage ads. What were they thinking?!?!

Today, November 20, in
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of Spain. 
1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and 
 Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. 
1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in Mexico. 
1929 The radio program "The Rise of the Goldbergs," later known 
 as "The Goldbergs," made its debut on the NBC Blue Network. 
1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on 
 Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 
1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes tribunal 
 in Nuremberg, Germany. 
1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten, 
 Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 
1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark and 
 Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed its 
 missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its blockade of 
 the island. 
1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in Washington, 
 DC, went past 200 million. 
1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential use 
 of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the substance. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader to 
 address Israel's parliament. 
1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur 
 pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The 
 freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The 
 Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous 
 freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. 
1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the controversial 
 ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie depicted the outbreak 
 of nuclear war. 
1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. 
 The title was The Poky Little Puppy. 
1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague, 
 Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 
1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into 
 the country of Kuwait. 
1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor 
 Castle in England. 
1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in 
 Zambia to end 19 years of war. 
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince Charles 
 in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television. 
1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden 
 safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating 
 two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist attacks 
 on New York City and the Pentagon. 
1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of 
 health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also 
 agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 
2015  smiled.


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Ergo keyboard 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 19

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania woman who got 2 DUIs same night, same car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 19, in 1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving? A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant. ______________________________________________________ A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dad for this picture: These bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michele Leonard, 47, Somerset, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania woman who got 2 DUIs same night, same car. Pennsylvania State police say they've arrested a woman for two different drunken driving crashes in the same day. Troopers from Somerset say Michele Leonard, of Somerset, crashed her car about 5 p.m. Saturday. She was arrested, charged with drunken driving and then released. Police say that's when Leonard offered a stranger $3 for a ride back to her crashed vehicle, which she entered and began driving again. Police say Leonard again lost control of the car, and sideswiped a parked car in Somerset Township about 6 p.m., then crashed into a garage, which she destroyed along with a pick-up parked in it and thousands of dollars worth of special tools.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna Re: Ergo Keyboard Dear Webby, For the lady with the keyboard problem with her laptop... as a former personal trainer regular keyboards and laptop keyboards especially being so small are terrible for your wrists, causing pinches nerves and are just carpal tunnel waiting to happen. Just look at the angle of your inner wrist as you try to type! My suggestion would be an ergonomic keyboard. Yes they take some getting used to (after two weeks about 10 years ago, I was ready to pitch mine out the window...learning that for 30 years I had been typing the letter N with the wrong finger!)...but I perservered. The light bulb went on after about two weeks, and not only did my wrists quit hurting but my typing speed improved. I agree with you that cost should not be an issue, my Microsoft Ergo Keyboards lasted over 10 years and are still functional. Donna Dear Donna Microsoft was afraid of getting hit with class action law suits and commissioned the research and development for their Ergonomical keyboard. Because of the ridiculous pricing those didn't really catch on, but they sure protected Microsoft from lawsuits. With a reasonable price and an adjustable curvature, they would have been successful, but even as they are, they are still available for people with carpal tunnel syndrome or other wrist injuries, and who get somebody else to pay for the insane $75 - $120 price for $1.49 worth of plastic. There are some split keyboards available at reasonable cost, that are very good if somebody has a wrist injury. Up until the 80's, when there were still typing pools and fast typists, they said that a keyboard should be as wide as the typist's shoulders. Well, all the 120 wpm typists have retired, and wide keyboards are getting very scarce. Personally, I just use a wide Kensington keyboard and a slick wrist rest as high as the keyboard. That works well for me. The wrist rest is very important. A 1"x 4" board sanded and varnished works just fine, especially when sprayed with Moly mold release or furniture spray to make it nice and slick on top, and sticky drawer liner mesh underneath. You would really be surprised how that makes typing effortless and painless even after an injury. And faster too. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jill heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, "Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting." "It was postponed." he replied. "The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate won't let him attend until he finishes doing the laundry." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bag Top as Instant Twist Ties How many times have you looked for a twist tie to keep a bag closed? Well look no more. Now all you do is cut the entire top of the product bag off and use that for the twist tie. An instant twist tie right at your fingertips. By Suzzy-cue B. [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One evening after dinner, Little Johnny noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?" Dad told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?" Little Johnny's father had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." Little Johnny burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," Little Johnny said. "I'm not THAT silly. Mom always says that Tupperware is the cheapest at Walmart! What are they really doing?" ___________________________________________________
five guys playing one piano
five guys playing one piano ____________________________________________________ A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to desend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. Then preacher heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?" ____________________________________________________ A young married couple lived in a cheap housing complex. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I readied my camera to be sent off for repairs, put it in the original box, wrapped and put the address label on it. However, I had to open the package up to put in the check I forgot, resealed the box and took it to the post office where I bought insurance (for a $2,000 camera) and postage and got it mailed off. Later that afternoon, one of the twins came home from school with really bad grades on a paper. I spent 30 minutes telling him how he needed to pay attention to what he was doing as most of his mistakes were from not paying attention to what he was doing or reading. After the lecture, I sent him out to play and sat down at my desk pondering how can I impress upon him the importance of paying attention to what he’s doing. As I was in the midst of my thinking, I started cleaning my desk and it was then that I noticed my camera sitting there on the desk. It was then I realized I mailed and insured an empty box. Well, that’s not quite right, there is paperwork and the $10 check in the box. Noella ____________________________________________________
History of the swastika symbol. It was used for centuries until Hitler made it a bad thing.

Today, November 19, in
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It 
 resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address 
 as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the 
 Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 
1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in 
 the Sunday New York World. 
1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell. 
1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a 
 vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority 
 was needed for ratification. 
1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the 
 first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 
1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter 
 offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on 
 the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 
1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of 
 the unpopular Edsel. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made 
 man's second landing on the moon. 
1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader 
 to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 
1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 
1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression. 
1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel 
 Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 
1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. 
 It was only the second known case where all seven were 
 born alive. 
1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 
1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" 
 sold at auction for more than $71 million. 
2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank 
 off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons 
 of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed 
 about 150 miles out to sea. 
2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.
2015  smiled.


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Keyboard slant 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 18

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Woman, who Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 17, in 1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. --- Dr. Joyce Brothers (1928 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter. As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?" "Are you trying to be funny?" she replied. "No, I really wish you had" he sighed. "I left the tickets on it." -------- No problem nowadays with e-tickets. Just print out a new one at one of those things that look half way between R2D2 and a fire hydrant. ______________________________________________________ The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart," she sobs, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again, "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We'll get a new cat in the morning." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Moe for this picture: Go look at it before ISIS blows it up! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wendy Luper, 45, Clermont, Florida
Florida Woman Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute Wendy Luper, 45, Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited). According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro--who were married for 12 years--drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton. While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.” But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper During a subsequent argument, Luper allegedly struck Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object. As Vaccaro sought to remove some of his belongings from the car’s rear seat, Luper allegedly accelerated the auto “with Vaccaro still half way inside the vehicle.” As Vaccaro “pulled out of the vehicle,” Luper drove over his right foot. When cops arrived at the scene, Vaccaro was bleeding from a head wound and his right foot appeared to be swelling. After being contacted by police, Luper returned to the vicinity of the storage facility. “She was unable to explain” Vaccaro’s injuries, noted police, who added that she “stated Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.” Seen above, Luper, who works as a housekeeper, was arrested for domestic battery. She was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody yesterday after posting $750 bond. Luper was busted in August for domestic battery after she allegedly punched Vaccaro in the face, neck, and arm after he ignored her request to do laundry. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor charge against Luper.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Keyboard slant for laptop Dear Webby, SUGGESTION FOR ANNIE WHOSE LAPTOP IS UNCOMFORTABLE. I ROLLED UP SOME RUBBERMAID SHELF LINER & TIED IT TO SECURE SHAPE WHEN I FOUND THE RIGHT HEIGHT TO PROP THE BACK END OF THE LAPTOP ONTO. GIVES IT A SLANT TO MAKE TYPING A WHOLE LOT EASIER. MAYBE SHE CAN TRY THIS TOO. BONNIE IN NH Dear Bonnie If the slant is the problem, then your suggestion is an excellent idea. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jane got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket and was pulled over for being slower than the flow of traffic." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mango "Ice Cream" I saw this recipe on Pinterest and had to try it. I actually had all the ingredients. It's super quick to make. It's a lot easier than homemade ice cream. My kids can't stop eating it! I love that there is no added sugar. It's delicious! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: about 4 servings Ingredients: 8 oz frozen mangos 1/2 cup cream or coconut milk a splash of milk a pinch of salt Steps: Add your mango to the food processor. Mango "Ice Cream" Pour in the cream or coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Start the food processor on the low setting. Stop the machine and scrape the sides. Mine was a little dry and needed more moisture. I poured in a splash of milk until it was ice cream consistency. Scoop out and eat right away or freeze. It's a little hard when it comes out of the freezer. We let ours sit for a few minutes to soften. Source: Coco's Well Link: cocoswell.com/mangosoftserve By Becky Miles [84] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Ethel is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." As Ethel finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water. "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too." Again Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" Ethel replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue." ___________________________________________________
- Big cats like boxes
Big cats like boxes ____________________________________________________ A local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday after that, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday he preached for an hour and a half. I asked him about this. He then told me "Well, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot. But the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures and I couldn't stop talking!" ____________________________________________________ In primitive society, when native tribes dressed up in mismatched colors that hurt the eyes, beat the ground with clubs in an embarrassing manner, and yelled and screamed in ways that hurt the ears, it was called witchcraft; today, it is called golf. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Note to Self: When making vocabulary, spelling, grammar and formatting corrections to a template letter at your new job, make sure the person you are passing the updates by is not its author. Noella ____________________________________________________
A very touching story in music and memories.

Today, November 18, in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the 
 Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed 
 in England. 
1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to 
 sight the continent of Antarctica. 
1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog 
 of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the 
 New York "Saturday Press." 
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones. 
1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S. 
 rights to build the Panama Canal. 
1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force 
 in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France. The 
 offensive began on July 1, 1916. 
1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon 
 premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie," 
 starring Mickey Mouse. 
1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of 
 Francisco Franco. 
1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in 
 New York City's Times Square. 
1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against 
 eating meat on Fridays. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and 
 Alan L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second 
 manned mission to the moon. 
1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established 
 a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 
1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium 
 for use in nuclear weapons. 
1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record division 
 to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided the 
 death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate in 
 approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion facilities, 
 staff and patients. 
1993 American Airlines flight attendants went on strike. They ended 
 their strike only 4 days later. 
2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in the 
 United States.
2015  smiled.


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Keyboard for laptop 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 17

Thank you, Nancy !!!

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who was arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 17, in 1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean and the Red seas. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." --- George Carlin This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Rina, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about her and her education, but then asked her, out of the blue, "What is three times seven?" "22," Rina replied. After she left, she double-checked it on her calculator (she *knew* she should have taken it to the interview!) and realized she wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, she got a letter that said she was hired for the job! She was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, she went in and asked why she got the job,even though she got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest." ______________________________________________________ When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, no pollution, no rush hour. The women did all the work, while the men sat around and smoked pipes, and went hunting or fishing whenever anybody mentioned cleaning up the yard or fixing the teepee. Ever since then, a bunch of do-gooders have been trying to "improve" the place. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Liann Gae Watson, 45, Clermont, Florida
Florida woman arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes A woman in Lake County, Florida, is facing charges after she allegedly called 911 for chicken wings. Liann Gae Watson, 45, is accused of calling 911 Wednesday afternoon and telling the operator she wanted chicken wings and cigarettes, ClickOrlando.com reports. The responding officers reported that, when they showed up at Watson's home in Clermont, she said she had been drinking and was unable to drive, so she called 911 for the items, according to SouthLakePress.com. The wing-craving woman also kept asking to bum a cigarette and tried to get the deputies to drive her to get some, reports the Orlando Sentinel. Watson kept switching between hysterical laughter and hysterical crying and yelling during her conversation with police, according to the arrest report. Watson was then taken into custody on charges of misusing the 911 system. On the way to the Lake County Jail, Watson kept smacking the partition in the squad car with her head and shoulders, kicked her legs into the air and cursed and screamed, according to a police report obtained by WESH.com. The suspect was given four warnings to stop and when she didn't, she was hog-tied to prevent her from hurting herself. Watson has been charged with one count of misusing the 911 system. She was later released after posting $1,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annie Re: Keyboard for laptop Dear Webby, My laptop is really hurting my wrists. You have mentioned a few times that you lug a regular size keyboard with you even into the desert. What kind of keyboard would I need for my Acer Aspire 8735 ? Thanks Annie Dear Annie Any keypoad, that is comfortable for your hands would work. Go to any computer store and demand to try out their keyboards, not just look at the box. Some of them look very nice, but have mushy keys, that will tire you out fast. Look for a light key action, but not too light. You don't want it to start typing when you just rest fingers on the keys. Ideally, you would want a bit of initial resistance or push against your fingers, and then snap home with a "tactile click". You should get a noticeable feel of the key slamming home. That is especially important if you are reading text or numbers and typing them in without watching the screen. Just play with them until you find one you like. Don't look at the price! Your wrists are worth a lot more than the difference between the cheapest and the most expensive keyboard, especially since the difference in price is less than what a wrist bandage costs. Regarding compatibility: They all work. Wireless is of course more expensive, but unless you want to slouch on the couch and use the big TV screen as your monitor, you can usually save money by using a regular, wired keyboard. Higher quality keyboards like a Kensignton will let you type faster and will last longer. Even though they are more expensive initially, because they last much longer than no-name bargain keybolards, they wind up saving you money. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mango "Ice Cream" I saw this recipe on Pinterest and had to try it. I actually had all the ingredients. It's super quick to make. It's a lot easier than homemade ice cream. My kids can't stop eating it! I love that there is no added sugar. It's delicious! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: about 4 servings Ingredients: 8 oz frozen mangos 1/2 cup cream or coconut milk a splash of milk a pinch of salt Steps: Add your mango to the food processor. Mango "Ice Cream" Pour in the cream or coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Start the food processor on the low setting. Stop the machine and scrape the sides. Mine was a little dry and needed more moisture. I poured in a splash of milk until it was ice cream consistency. Scoop out and eat right away or freeze. It's a little hard when it comes out of the freezer. We let ours sit for a few minutes to soften. Source: Coco's Well Link: cocoswell.com/mangosoftserve By Becky Miles [84] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ On the last day of class, the professor wished the students luck as he wrote a phone number on the blackboard. "If any of you have difficulty understanding the review material, call this number," he said as he dismissed the class. On Saturday afternoon, stumped by one of the review problems, Don reached for the phone and heard a recorded message, from Dial-A-Prayer. ___________________________________________________
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind?
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind? ____________________________________________________ Driving home from the store one day, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station. "How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts." The father countered with: "If all members of a band that plays Your style of music were playing the same song at the same time, what would they be singing about?" "They don't. If they did, it would just be boring country music!" ____________________________________________________ Daffinition: Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? The reason old firehalls have circular stairways is from the days when the fire engines were pulled by horses. They kept the horses from walking up the stairs and eating the firefighters lunches while they slept. You might be wondering why they called their vehicles "engines" if they were pulled by horses. The "engine" was the steam engine powered pump. Re horses walking up stairs, did you know that horses can walk DOWN stairs too, but cows won't ? If you decide that it might be a fun graduation prank to herd some cows upstairs to the admin or even the dean's level like we did, they have to be sedated and CARRIED down the stairs. After that, sometimes the staff usually needed to be sedated too. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders >From DW One time about twenty years ago I was in Nashville for a brief visit to a town near there. On the way back I decided to go visit the Outback Steak House. I thought I could find it after having seen it from the air. Well, no such luck. So I asked a friendly local. "Ohh, you jess drive down this here road to where the ol firehall was, the one thet berned down a few years ago, and hang a left right there ann go up to wehre they are plannin to build a McDonalds next year. From there you could jess about see it if that big ol school was not in the way." Great! Thank you Ma'am. I went back to the hotel and cranked up MapQuest. Noella ____________________________________________________
Our nurses today think they have it rough! These ladies were really dedicated to the nursing profession!

Today, November 17, in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death 
 of Queen Mary Tudor. 
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide 
 while in jail awaiting execution. 
1800 The U.S. Congress held its first session in Washington, DC, 
 in the partially completed Capitol building. 
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean 
 and the Red seas. 
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups 
 Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 
1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from 
 Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel 
 through the Panama Canal. 
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from 
 dancing the tango. 
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 
1962 Washington's Dulles International Airport was dedicated 
 by U.S. President Kennedy. 
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled 
 vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was 
 released by Luna 17. 
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female 
 and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy 
 in Tehran. 
1982 The Empire State Building was added to the National Register 
 of Historical Places. 
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic 
 country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in 
 Pakistan in 11 years. 
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River 
 Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World 
 War II prisoners of war. 
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the 
 Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were 
 killed by police. 
2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States. 
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first 
 time humans had trapped antimatter. 
2015  smiled.


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Problem with the video link 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 16

Thank you, Terri!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to New York robbers, who were arrested when cops followed their trail of spilled macaroni salad Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 16, in 1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American Revolution. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He who is good at making excuses, is seldom good for anything else. --- Socratex With love and patience, nothing is impossible. --- Daisaku Ikeda ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal, went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church. The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention . . ." ______________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23 Mt. Morris, New York,
3 Robbers arrested after cops follow a trail of macaroni salad Never trust the macaroni salad. It'll turn on you when you least expect it. This, after police in Mt. Morris, New York, apprehended three burglary suspects Sunday by following a trail of macaroni salad they left behind while making their getaway. In a release published Monday morning, the Livingston County Sheriff's Office reports thieves broke in and stole a cash register from Build-A-Burger Restaurant, along with the establishment's entire surveillance system and a large bowl of macaroni salad. Deputies were hot on the criminals' trail, literally, as they attempted to escape via the nearby Greenway Trail. "Found along the trail were cash register parts, surveillance system parts, rubber gloves, loose change and a steady trail of macaroni salad," the sheriff's office said. "It was later discovered that the suspects stole a large bowl of macaroni salad, which they took turns eating, along their escape route." Officers arrested Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, and Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23, by early Sunday afternoon. The three have been charged with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief and fourth-degree grand larceny. Walker faces additional charges for criminal possession of a controlled substance, say police. Per the Democrat & Chronicle, the three have been booked into the Livingston County Jail. Most of the stolen property has been recovered.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Not getting Noella's Videos Dear Webby, OK, I'M BACK TO NOT GETTING NOELLA'S VIDEOS. WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING IN MY SETTINGS TO FIX THIS, ANY IDEA? BONNIE Dear Bonnie The videos worg fine even from the letter you forwarded. I will add a plain text link for you. Let me know how that works out. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys may be hurting the dog, the clergyman approached the group of boys and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we have decided that, whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie, will get to keep the dog." Of course, the reverend was taken aback and exclaimed, "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" Then he launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning with, "Don't you boys know that it is a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, the Rev gets the dog. There is no way we can top that." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Squeeze Bottle for D.E. Application I found a cheap and easy way for spreading food grade diatomaceous earth. A squeeze bottle makes it easy to dust under leaves and hard to reach places to kill bugs. It works really well in the chicken coop for getting into the places any chicken lice could hide. It also works well for killing fleas in the carpet. Just buy a plastic condiments squeeze bottle, add some diatomaceous earth, and squeeze away. It has quite a range too! The one I bought was $0.80 at a local store. I like the squeeze bottles with a cap, so that it stays dry between uses. By Bella Blue [46] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a job applicant asked if the phone company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, "Oh, our employees don't need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, hiding the paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!" ___________________________________________________
Men's brains vs women's brains
Men's brains vs women's brain ____________________________________________________ "Mom, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?" She just said, "Thank goodness!" ____________________________________________________ A company in Annapolis, MD, offers tours through the historic district of the town, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Dave, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Dave in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?" ____________________________________________________ Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" he asked. "Nothing," she answered. "Well, it's not in there. Look under the bed." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Remember when we had to defrost our freezers? The way I did it was heat a pan of water, place it in the freezer and along with a hair dryer, start chipping at the ice with a hammer and thick knife or even a screwdriver. It went really fast. One day I was chipping away and was almost done. I loved getting that last big piece of ice out. But then I heard a funny sound – like a hiss! It kept hissing and hissing, then finally stopped. Needless to say, the next phone call was to the repair man. He probably loved people tried to do it the "easy" way. I am so, so thankful for frost-free freezers. Noella ____________________________________________________
These ski masks are wild!

Today, November 16, in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the 
 American Revolution. 
1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 
1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle 
 patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 
1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established 
 diplomatic relations for the first time. 
1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football 
 for Charlie Brown. 
1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial 
 of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954. 
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with 
 massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in 
 Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 
1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched 
 from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. 
 That pipeline is still working fine.
1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been 
 developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 
1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of 
 HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 
1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic 
 "sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 
1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident 
 from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for 
 almost 18 years. 
1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, 
 aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a 
 carefully selected group of teachers and students. 
1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal 
 for the North American rights to a book about her affair 
 with U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file 
 discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor 
 contracts require arbitration. 
1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was 
 shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her 
 wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 
 of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder. 
2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to 
 visit Communist Vietnam. 
2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly 
 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 
2015  smiled.


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Free malwarebytes did the trick 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 15

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Chicago woman, who was arrested for Denny's pancake rage Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 15, in 1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people. --- Arthur Schopenhauer Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. --- Orson Welles ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When Little Johnny's family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked him how he liked the new place. "It's great!" he said. "I have my own room, Billy has his own room, and Betty-Sue has her own room. WE can have fun! But poor dad is still stuck in with mom." ______________________________________________________ A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?" Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out." "OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, ' Take fifty cents worth of ground beef '..." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this one: This one bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Natasha West 27, Oak Lawn, Chicago, Illinois
Chicago woman, who was arrested for Denny's pancake rage Natasha West, 27, is facing assault and property damage charges after becoming unhinged when a Denny’s waitress explained that she was not allowed to share her $4 all-you-can-eat pancake special with her friends. West was dining Friday at a Denny’s in Oak Lawn, a Chicago suburb, when a server explained that the unlimited pancake offer was good for a single diner. This did not sit well with West, who claimed that she was apparently was under the impression that her $4 bought everyone at the table an unending pancake bounty. According to the Oak Lawn Police Department, West cursed at the waitress and threw several punches at the employee (though the blows did not land). West and her party then left Denny’s without paying their tab, but not before she repeatedly kicked a door on the way out. Pictured above, West was subsequently collared after Denny’s workers gave police a description of the car in which she and her pals fled. West was charged with assault and damage to property. One of West’s friends, Jerome Ivory, 31, was busted for providing police with false identification.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Finally got Malwarebytes Dear Webby, Finally got Maleware Bytes downloaded and ran it. Found lots and lots of PUP's and one bad thing, but it wasn't that browser.e thing I wrote you about. Got rid of everything. Had lots of 'sharing' going on. Hope this took care of it. I remember Maleware bytes being free and all the time. This is only for 14 days trial. When did it change? Thanks for recommending this as I couldn't be sure superanti to work correctly, but will try to run it again when I restart my machine and will definitely run Maleware again befor the trial period is over Wendy Dear Wendy There is more to live than being a fanatic about free stuff. You should have learned that by now. All the stuff Malwarebytes cleaned out, had been attached to supposedly free stuff. Save your couch coins and by month end you can afford to buy MalWareBytes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An out-of-towner in New York decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing Creamer Bottles with New Lids I go through the local recycling center at my mobile home park. I do this for two reasons. One is because people just don't read the numbers in the triangle and toss in those plastics we can't recycle in Douglas County anymore. The other is to save coffee and creamer containers, and all others that I can use for food storage. Once washed, they are perfect for keeping critters out. So today's tip is that sometimes, you can still use something even though the lid is missing. I find these creamer bottles without the tops and replace them with juice container lids. Still useful, clear and ready to fill with things like: rice beans soup mixes pasta candies staples like flour or pancake mixes and more I love the fact that they are clear and easy to see. I hope this helps! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [451] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "That's a really beautiful fur coat," a friend remarked, "but don't you pity the poor beast who suffered so that you might have it?" The women replied, "Why are you suddenly worried about my husband?" ___________________________________________________
big boy toys
____________________________________________________ Gene took his beat-up pickup truck to the insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection. The receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. Then she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Gene replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Gene. "Hmmm," she explained, "the computer won't accept Ford Fossil." ____________________________________________________ Overheard.... Women don't need conventional tools around the house, we'll use anything that's handy. But when pounding a nail, don't use a shoe - shoes cost $40 a pair. A package of frozen hamburgers costs $3 and you are a lot less likely to miss the nail and whack your hand. Use the hamburger. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Back in the '70s I had a part-time job working in ER for Barnes Hospital in St. Louis. After a few months they transferred me to McMillan ER where ENTs were handled (Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat). It wasn't as busy, so I was pretty much by myself when a patient came. My job was to take them upstairs to the doctor. There was no triage there at that time. Most of our cases were either a sore throat or something stuck in their eye. One night a sore throat came in, I filled out the paperwork and just as I got ready to take them upstairs, I guy came in holding his eye. I told him I would be back shortly, he nodded okay. A few minutes later, I returned and the man was gone. I soon found out why. He'd gotten up to get a drink of water and fainted. Someone found him and it turned out he actually had been shot in the eye. I just hoped my apology and flowers the next day helped. Noella ____________________________________________________ Stay away from these hybrids!

Today, November 15, in
1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of Confederation
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became known 
 as Pikes Peak. 
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their 
 "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 
1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 
1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 
1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 
1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under 
 peacetime conscription. 
1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. 
 On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned spacecraft to reach 
 the surface of another planet when it crashed on Venus. 
1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts 
 James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down safely 
 in the Atlantic Ocean. 
1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million Democrat protesters 
 staged a demonstration against the Vietnam War. 
1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an official 
 consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 
1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American Eugene 
 Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering arms to 
 Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison and was 
 pardoned a month later. 
1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on Wall 
 Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider stock trading. 
 It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the SEC. 
1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year career. 
1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six months 
 in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher was serving a 
 prison sentence for shooting and wounding Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 
1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a 
 race-discrimination lawsuit. 
1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed a major 
 trade agreement that involved China's membership in the World Trade 
 Organization (WTO). 
2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the Los Angeles 
 police department were convicted on several counts of conspiracy to 
 obstruct justice. One other officer was acquitted. The case was the 
 first major case against the anti-gang unit. 
2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao Zedong 
 sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange Marilyn" sold 
 for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold for $15.6 million.
2015  smiled.


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What to do with old computer with blank screen 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 14

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Notorious Subway Joy-Rider, who was arrested after he stole a NJ Bus Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats." --- Howard Aiken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Robbie for this one: My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone." ______________________________________________________ Lu, China ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darius McCollum, 49, New York, NY
Notorious Subway Joy-Rider was arrested after he stole a NJ Bus Police say a man with a long history of pretending to be a transit worker and commandeering New York City subway trains for joy rides has been arrested after stealing a commercial passenger bus from New Jersey. The New York Police Department says Darius McCollum was arrested Wednesday by officers who spotted the bus traveling down a street in Brooklyn. McCollum has 29 transit-related arrests, starting in 1981, when he drove the E train to the World Trade Center at the age of 15. Usually he just steals subway trains, but seems to have switched to buses now. In 2008, he was arrested for stealing a Trailways bus from Hoboken, New Jersey. McCollum is being held at a police station in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Yolanda Re: Blank screen on old computer Dear Webby, I hope you can help me. Last Saturday I tried to turn on my computer. The power button lit up and couple of other buttons did as well. The wifi button stayed off. There is no sound and has a blank screen. I have tried to unplug from power source and remove the battery and hold down the power button. I bought it used 2 years ago, so is it worth fixing or just scrap it? I'd appreciate your help and advice. Thank you very much. Yolanda Dear Yolanda That isn't enough information to recommend any way to fix the problem. However, without sound or a working screen, it would probably cost more to fix it than it is worth. Time to shop for a replacement. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a big decision! Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, we took a vote... and they're in favor of it, 15 to 2." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Foil and Waxed Paper Boxes I found this idea on Pinterest or here (not sure where, sorry!) It stated that if you get a wire mesh document holder from the Dollar stores, they work great for those boxes you have to roll things out of. I found one in blue for .25 at a thrift store and did just that. It's perfect for 4-5 boxes of foil, wax paper, baggies and more. N-JOY! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [450] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young woman, a military dependant, came into the dental clinic with a problem tooth. She had several children and appeared to be quite ready to give birth to another one at almost any moment. It was necessary to use X-rays to locate the source of her problem, so she was conducted to the dental unit with an X-ray machine, and her husband followed. The X-ray technician was lining up the cone of the machine preparatory to making the first exposure, when he noticed that the young woman's husband was standing beyond her, but in a position where he would receive some radiation after it passed through her teeth. Being well trained, the technician stopped and asked the fellow to move to a safer position. "Sir, please step over there. Too much of this radiation will make you sterile." A broad smile appeared on the young woman's face, her eyes grew wide with excitement, and she clapped her hands while saying, "Joe, come here, hold my hand!" ___________________________________________________
All about that bass (eye candy for the guys)
____________________________________________________ A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art and the best I could find." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty." ____________________________________________________ A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the army. "But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" The man shrugged, "So far, none of them complained." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Being a member of a small church with its own Bible school many people came and went. It was my duty to keep the church phone list updated. I was shy so this forced me to approach new people and get information from them. I was also single, and any new guys were prospects. A cute redheaded guy started coming and I thought, “I like this job, now I can get his phone number” - you know, for emergencies. I didn’t want to ask him directly because I was afraid he might not understand and think me too forward. I knew through the grapevine that he was staying with another family, and when I asked they told me his name and mentioned that he had just moved down the street. Since several of our members lived on that street, I queried several of them, none of whom knew his number. Finally I approached him and mentioned that I needed his phone number for our church directory and mentioned that I’d asked several others but no one seemed to know. His reply had me wondering myself, “Well, why didn’t you call ‘Information’?” Noella ____________________________________________________
Pedal faster girls!

Today, November 13, in
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York City, 
  NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30 people. 
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the 
 Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new 
 constitution was approved.
1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most 
 of the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe 
 bombers attacked. 
1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 
1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 
1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy, FL. 
1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur 
 Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the 
 first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 
1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 
1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the 
 United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the 
 taking of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise 
 missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid 
 protests. 
1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-down 
 in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 
1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, 
 closing national parks and museums while most government 
 offices operated with skeleton crews. 
2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app 
 for smartphones.
2015  smiled.


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Does Malwarebytes clash? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Friday, the 13th ! 
be careful! It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding after a car chase. now she's really in doghouse Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. --- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Robbie for this one: My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ At the grocery store I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children, and I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case and was showing off a rather scary balancing act. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Myranda Skinner, 28, FRANKFORT, KY
Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding -- now she's really in doghouse A Kentucky woman faces charges after authorities say they found her hiding in an empty doghouse after a dangerous pursuit. Frankfort police tell local media that 28-year-old Myranda Skinner and 36-year-old Bryan Wells led officers on a chase Monday morning after an officer noticed a license plate that had been reported stolen. Authorities say Skinner, the driver, tried to run over an officer when the suspects' vehicle was briefly stuck at a dead-end road. Police say the pursuit led to the car crashing through a gate at a golf course, with the suspects fleeing on foot. A K-9 unit found Wells inside the bed of a truck and Skinner, of Lexington, in the doghouse. The suspects were indicted Tuesday on numerous charges, including fleeing police.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Superantispyware clash? Dear Webby, I have superantispyware on my computer. is it ok to download and use maleware bytes ? Wendy Dear Wendy Yes, sure. won't clash with it. Just beware of copycat sites with fake versions. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The night before her wedding, Wendy talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know all about sex, mother," Wendy interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a decent lasagna!" ----------- Smart girl! They learn how to spread long before they learn how to cook a decent lasagna. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Too Much Cream Pushed out of Tube If you accidentally squeeze too much out of a tube, you can get it back in. Put the cap back on the tube. Squeeze the tube with the cap on. Remove the cap. The excess contents will be back in the tube! If you squeezed out a huge amount, you may have to repeat the process, but it will all go back in. By Judy [25] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Bob what the problem is. "Well," said Bob, "I ran afoul of one of those women's questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble." "What kind of question?, asked Tom. "My wife asked me in her longwinded and complicated and confusing way, if I would still love her if she was old and fat." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah", said Bob, "That's what I did, except I was confused by the longwinded question and mixed up the tenses and said 'Of course I do.'" ___________________________________________________
- the horse won't let him go
____________________________________________________ While on board a Navy carrier, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes." ____________________________________________________ That reminds me.... About ten years ago Julie, one of my clients, was doing web design on the side to help get her Micro-Fiber wholesale business off the ground. One of her design clients was some woman who claimed to be a psychic and fortune teller. To make a long story short, that woman's psychic abilities were so poor, she could not even fortell that Julie would insist on getting paid for her work, and that Julie has friends. I used a dialectizer program to translate the psychics web site into Elmer Fudd style. Then Julie uploaded that to the psychic's site and changed the password. After that, of course, it was written in the stars and quite predictable, that the psychic woman would pay up quickly. After she found out that her fuming and threatening just made Julie laugh even harder, she did pay up! Here are some examples of how a dialectizer works. I'll take a quote and translate it: "A little madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King." --- Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) ================================= "A widdle madness in the Spwing Is whowesome even fow de King." -- Emiwy Dickinson (1830-1886) Elmer Fudd is just one of the many dialects that can be selected. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Shortly after my first marriage, we had an elderly couple from our church over for home roasted barbecued chicken. While the chicken finished roasting, I tended to a few other things on top of the stove. I set the table and eventually dinner was ready; everyone sat down to eat as I set out the last of the food - the barbecued chicken. To my dismay, it wasn't just charred barbecue, it was burnt to a crisp. Apparently since the oven's knobs were about waist high on the front of the stove I must have leaned up against them and turned up the heat while doing something else. My elderly guest wryly remarked that he thought burnt offerings stopped when Jesus died on the cross. You do NOT want me in the kitchen! Noella ____________________________________________________

Today, November 13, in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. 
1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he said, 
 "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, 
 except death and taxes." 
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a recipe 
 and called it the "frankfurter." We now know it as the "Wiener".
1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access between 
 New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 
1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure lowering 
 the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial 
 segregation on public buses. 
1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to 
 orbit another planet, Mars. 
1977 The comic strip "Li'l Abner" by Al Capp appeared in newspapers 
 for the last time. 
1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 
1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense 
 Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the 
 U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He 
 denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that 
 they had been sent to improve relations. 
1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 
1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S. citizens. 
1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for the 
 North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S. 
 President Bill Clinton. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that 
 would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured 
 with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States 
 on September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II 
 that a president had taken such action. 
2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for 
 $1.65 million in Google stock. 
2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The 
 discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar 
 Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 
2015  smiled.


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No browsers working anymore on VISTA 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 12

Thanks Joseph!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NY man for leading cops on a 100 mph chase Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 12, in 1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of the garment that is named after him. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Books...are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves with 'em, then we grow out of 'em and leave 'em behind, as evidence of our earlier stages of development. --- Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" ______________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being...a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows..." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I think it would be a great idea! That would make a huge difference to your life and is just what you need. Sure, I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog for you." ______________________________________________________ Fast moon ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Indiana Z. Jones, 21, Rushville, N.Y.
NY Indiana Jones Leads Cops On 100 MPH Chase A man named Indiana Z. Jones is accused of leading deputies in Yates County, New York, on a chase that reached upwards of 100 mph, according to the Associated Press. Authorities said the wild ride began Sunday evening when Jones tried to evade a traffic stop in his hometown of Rushville, according to MyTwinTiers.com. The alleged "temple of zoom" lasted six minutes and reached 100 mph before deputies deployed stop sticks in Benton that punctured the tires of Jones' 2002 Audi A6, according to the Elmira Star Gazette. Jones was charged with unlawfully fleeing a police officer, reckless operation, speeding and having an unregistered, uninsured and uninspected vehicle, according to UPI.com. He was later released on $1.000 bond. No attempt was made to reach Harrison Ford for comment.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Browser not working on VISTA Dear Webby, I have an older HP computer running Vista, For the past two days, I have been unable to access the internet, I've run CrapCleaner and it shows that Firefox is running but nothing is showing on the monitor. I can "force close" it on CCleaner but when I go to turn it on, NOTHING ! Internet Explorer is on the machine but that doesn't work, either, so I am hesitant to uninstall FireFox and then try to reinstall it. I know it's an old computer and I am holding off buying a new one. Until now it has been satisfactory for my needs. Any suggestions???? I have a 3 Year old Toshiba laptop running Windows 7 which accesses FireFox and the internet so I am not without Facebook but I do miss a lot of my other programs. Many thanks for any advice tom Dear Tom Vista was never any good or very secure, but Microsoft still supports it. Considering how many Million XP computers are still working fine, the problem is not the choice of operating systems, no matter what the computer peddlers tell you. It seems your Vista computer is infected. Run Malwarebytes. http://webby.com/malwarebytes Once your infection has been fixed, FireFox should work again. You might have to update FireFox, but no need to uninstall it. You might have to download Malwarebytes on the Toshiba and copy it over to the HP via local network. To see if you have Internet access, or a modem / cable problem, click on START type cmd and hit ENTER in the DOS style screen that pops up,type tracert webby.com If you have a proper Internet connection, it will trace the route from you to Webby.com. You can, of course, also try any other domain, that you think should be up and running. If you don't get a trace route, check your cables. Have FUN! DearWebby DearWebby Ran Malwarebytes and it appears to have done the "trick'. FireFox is up and running as are all my other internet programs. Seems like there were problems in the registry which were corrected by Malwarebytes. Many thanks for your advice. Hope all is well with you physically, Obviously, mentally you are still functioning at the top of your game. tom :-) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Sharpie from Faux Leather I was able to remove Sharpie permanent marker from faux leather using WD-40. It came off super easy and didn't damage the finish. Good luck. By HARISN9000 [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!" ___________________________________________________
Graphics - making of a TV series
____________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her: "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Nine dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, nine dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." ____________________________________________________ While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders When I was new in the work force, I was told that because I had not yet worked a month, I would not get Veterans Day. OK, fine, no big deal. So I showed up at the usual time, and found that the entrance was locked up. I knew, however, that the back door by the dumpster was rather sloppy, and one of the girls, who had locked herself out accidentally when emptying her garbage, got back in by using her credit card. So I figured I would try that, but found the door was not really locked. So I went to my station, tunred on the lights and started working. About two hours later the big boss and four cops showed up and asked me what the heck I was doing. It was a lot funnier for them than for me, but I did not get in trouble. The boss explained things for me, and gave me a Twenty for my work, and then they escorted me out. Noella ____________________________________________________
What a fantasy land of photos.

Today, November 12, in
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor 
 shower from a ship off the Florida Keys. 
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard 
 at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of 
 the garment that is named after him. 
1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. 
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent republics. 
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet Union. 
 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading to 
 Stalin coming to power. 
1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was played. 
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began 
 between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major 
 victory. 
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was 
 sunk off the coast of Norway. 
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange 
 National Bank in Chicago, IL. 
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki 
 Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death. 
1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking out 
 home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor, 
 closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since 1892. 
1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH. 
1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first NFL 
 head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons. 
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from 
 Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of 
 Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Brezhnev
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared 
 the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage. 
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in 
 prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A. 
 Walker Jr. 
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement that 
 said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat someone solely 
 because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive. 
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum Throne. 
1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director. 
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock with 
 the Russian space station Mir. 
1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death in 
 Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees. 
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for 
 constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993 bombing 
 of the World Trade Center. 
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form 
 Daimler-Chrysler AG. 
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take 
 off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed into 
 the Rockaway Beach part of Queens. All 260 people aboard killed. 
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the Kabul, 
 Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance at this 
 point was reported to have control over most of the northern areas 
 of Afghanistan. 
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc. 
 that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of dollars 
 in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man." Lee was 
 the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and Daredevil. 
2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade Center 
 was the tallest building in the United States. The height was measured 
 at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth tallest building in 
 the world at the time. 
2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with the 
 U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that would create 
 the world's largest airline. 
2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian military 
 equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen entering Ukraine in 
 convoys over several days. 
2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its lander Philae 
 to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The comet was 
 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 
2015  smiled.


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How to back up OneTab 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 11
Remebrance Day
Veterans Day


Pittance of time at 11:00 am

Also see Barb's Bonus Link near the bottom.


Thanks Gene!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 11, in 1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) "A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's." --- Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you done a good job, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven." ______________________________________________________ A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!" ______________________________________________________ Anthem, Arizona today at 11:11 am ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Megan Smith, 27, Bradenton, Florida
Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper A woman clobbered her live-in boyfriend in the face with a “pooper scooper” during an early-morning confrontation in their apartment, according to Florida cops. Megan Smith, 27, was arrested for battery around 5 AM Monday when an argument about “living arrangements” with victim Alexander Buck allegedly “turned physical.” Police charge that Smith “picked up a pooper scooper and hit the victim in the face with it multiple times.” The pooper scooper strikes knocked Buck’s glasses off his face and left him with “multiple abrasions to his left eyebrow and forehead.” Buck, who fled the couple’s Bradenton home and called 911, subsequently declined treatment from an EMS team dispatched to the residence. During police questioning, Smith reportedly copped to striking Buck with the scooper, which is used to handle cat litter. “She stated she hit him because the victim would not stop arguing with her,” an investigator noted. Smith, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was released yesterday from the county jail after posting $500 bond. She is scheduled for an October 15 arraignment on the misdemeanor charge.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wanda Re: Back up OneTab Dear Webby, You recommended OneTab. I like it and have used it since you recommended it. Big question is, how do I back it up so that I can move it to my next computer? Thanks Wanda Dear Wanda Open OneTab. On the right top you have some menu items. The third one is Export / Import URLs Click on that. You see a list of all the URLS in text format. Click in the middle of that text stuff, hit CTRL A to highlight the text Jump to a new text document in NoteTab or WordPad or whater you use for plain text. Click into that and hit CTRL V That pastes it. Save it as Onetab11-11-2015, or whatever the date is on your planet. That's all there is to it. Eventually you have a log of diback-ups from different dates. Importing onto a different computer is just as easy. Select IMPORT instead of Export copy the list of URLs from the backup you want, and paste it. You can't browse to it, but you'll get the hang quickly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A trainee for the New York Police Department, was asked the following hypothetical question: "If your beat was a lonely path in Central Park, and a beautiful young girl rushed up to you and declared that a strange man had suddenly grabbed her, and hugged and kissed her, what would you do?" The police-officer-in-training replied without hesitation, "I would endeavor to reconstruct the crime." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Flatware Scuffs on Porcelain Dishes My husband is a heavy stirrer and our everyday porcelain dishes were showing flatware scuffing. I tried the Weiman's Stove Top Cleaner. Rubbing with a damp paper towel, this is the cleaning results from a moderate swiping motion. I did half of the bowl for comparison purposes. By Myrna [16] Weimans Stove Top Cleaner is like the Barman's Friend cleaner on Turbo. You just wipe it onto the stovetop or porcellain with a yello-green scouring pad, and rinse after a minute or two. Done. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon." The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as "our" not "your." Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your...(-and after a stern look from the priest-) I mean OUR hedge needs to be trimmed." The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn't, but assured him she would look for it. Another few days passed, and the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was in an uproar of cleaning, and decorating. On the day the bishop arrived, while the priest was greeting the bishop in front of the church, the same nun came running down the front stairs yelling, "Father, Father, I found your watch!!" The priest, annoyed at the interruption, gave her another one of his "stern looks". "Why yes, Father, Sorry. I found it under OUR bed." ___________________________________________________
Armistice Day 1918
____________________________________________________ The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ____________________________________________________ A cute young secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. And she enjoyed showing off. One afternoon her boss motioned her into his office and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you might want to tone down the advertising during working hours." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Did you ever get really angry on the phone, go off on a tirade and angrily slam the phone down only to have it ring again five seconds later? Thinking it's the same person, I started the yelling again - Ooops, now I've got to apologize to my friend. Noella ____________________________________________________
Antem memorial
They don't have a live camera. If you want to see that, you will have to go and visit. Anthem is just 25 miles north of the Phoenix airport. Just take the I-17, head north about 25 miles, and when you get there, hang a right at West Daisy Mountain, and a left at the first divided road: North Gavilan Peak Parkway. At north Venture drive hang a right and immediat left. There is parking there. Even if you can't make it there for November 11, it is still v ery impressive to see at any time of the year. DearWebby

Today, November 11, in
1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged 
 in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 
1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 
1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held by the 
 New York Athletic Club. 
1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at 
 the Melbourne jail at age 25. 
1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted 
 of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed 
 an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the 
 United States. 
1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 
1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster 
 Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording 
 process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 
1921 The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery 
 in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 
1940 The Jeep made its debut. 
1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 
1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and 
 Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 
1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. 
 The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 
1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled 
 the Earth 59 times before returning. 
1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South 
 Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the 
 Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 
1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 
1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story John Hancock 
 Center in Chicago in about six hours. 
1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in 
 Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 
1984 The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at age 84. 
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial 
 as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 
1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in 
 Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 
1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the 
 second largest computer company. 
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million 
 dollars in New York. 
1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on 
 the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the 
 deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life 
 in prison. 
1990 Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant recipient, 
 died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13. 
1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help 
 the nation arrange democratic elections. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that 
 Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were 
 "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country 
 voluntarily. 
1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 
1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor 
 the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 
1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli 
 military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 
1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." 
 The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would 
 tour communities throughout the United States. 
1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 
 10,000 employees. 
1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the 
 Palestinians. 
2015  smiled.


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What to do if Skype messed up your mug shot? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, November 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 10, in 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. --- Aesop Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen, let adversity teach him. --- Ethiopian Proverb ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower: Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1." Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!" There was a brief moment of silence. First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!" ______________________________________________________ Tim was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, Dear," he said. "Of course, Tim," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die, he said, "I want you to marry Lawrence." "But I thought you hated Lawrence," she said. With his last breath, Tim said, "I do!" ______________________________________________________ Tougher than hockey ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam Tanzer, 26, Palm Harbor, Florida
Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma A Florida man pushed his 82-year-old grandmother to the ground Saturday night after he was denied "her debit card, which he needed to buy cake,” police allege. Adam Tanzer, 26, was arrested for battering the elderly victim during a dispute inside her residence in Palm Harbor, a community about 25 miles west of Tampa. According to cops, Tanzer pushed Barbara Bliss to the ground “in an aggressive way,” causing her to fall on her hands and hip. Tanzer was allegedly angry that his grandmother “took away her debit card he needed to buy cake.” Bliss, cops noted, was yelling at Tanzer, so he “pushed her away from himself and caused Bliss to fall on her hip.” The report does not indicate what injuries were suffered by Bliss, who did require medical treatment. Tanzer, pictured above, was charged with battery on a person 65 or older, a felony. He was released from jail yesterday afternoon, and has been ordered to have no contact with his grandmother.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Adele Re: Skype picture messed up Dear Webby, All of a sudden my Skype picture got changed. Instead of a carefully selected picture it nhow shows me with curlers and green mudpack. Terrible! How do I get my picture back? Adele Dear Adele Your 1976 glamor shot is gone. You will not get that back. You have two options now: Use Skype and take a new picture, like your already famous rhino with green mud-pack picture, or browse for an acceptable one. A lot of people use a picture of their daughters or grand daughters. Some use a snapshot harvested at the mall. It is entirely up to you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Jean A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The doctor asks "what's the problem?" The woman says, "doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me." The doctor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh and reborn. The woman says, "doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?" The doctor says, "the water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Alternative to Wet Wipes Since the thick cloth Wet Wipes are expensive and not good for a septic system, I always keep a small spray bottle with some water in it within a spare toilet roll next to my toilet. You could even add one tiny drop off liquid soap and/or essential oil if desired. Just spritz the tissue you are going to use and wipe! It's great for an extra clean wipe up from the young to non so young! By Donna [294] Those cheap 8" x 8" Microfiber samples work even better. They don't tear, and can be washed and line dried. Their cleaning ability is a thousand times better. Ketchup from a white rug? No problem. Ball point pen from aunt Louises's blouse? No problem. Buy a box. Visitors are going to borrow them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis. It was the hardest spelling test he ever took. ___________________________________________________
GoPro falls into pit of rattlesnakes (the guys are going to love this one)
____________________________________________________ At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress there. All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in. They observed the connection between the waitress and the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive remarks trying to get the trucker to start something. But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill and walked out. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like your boyfriend ain't much of a man." The waitress just leaned on the cash register and looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over three bikes out there." ____________________________________________________ Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure me and my rolling pin would be waiting for you at the front door." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I used to love shopping downtown at the large department stores, you know the ones, where ladies' clothing is on one floor, men's on another, fine dining on another, etc. There's usually 9-10 floors of shopping. I miss those days. Anyway, one day while shopping, I was walking along, not paying any attention to where I was going and I ran into someone. I immediately started apologizing. I stepped back to get out of their way, and to my dismay, it wasn’t a person, it wasn’t even a manikin, it was a large round supporting post. Do you know how you feel when you're apologizing to the supporting post of a building? Noella ____________________________________________________
Well, this is different.

Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of 
 the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence 
 after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The 
 Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. 
 This day is observed as the birth date of the United States 
 Marine Corps. 
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling. 
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David 
 Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in 
 central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
 "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when 
 Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart 
 in Alameda, CA. 
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that 
 equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in 
 December of 1991. 
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of 
 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be 
 executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was 
 put to death the following January. 
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped 
 in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the 
 cab fare. 
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack 
 at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be 
 the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was 
 cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital 
 sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. 
 Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her 
 husband. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, 
 which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing 
 the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following 
 week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action 
 would end trade sanctions. 
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa 
 along with several other anti-government activists. 
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a 
 massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left 
 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was 
 the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two 
 CIA employees in 1993. 
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder 
 conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to 
 time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old 
 Matthew Eappen. 
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org) 
 was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall 
 through the Internet. 
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 
2015  smiled.


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Which browser is better? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 9

Members of the city council in Iowa City, Iowa voted Monday 
to remove a veterans memorial that included a cross from 
a local park, and in turn, members of the community voted 
on Tuesday to remove those council members from office.

”We warned them multiple times if they let our town down. 
they WILL be voted out,” Allison Schmitz of Stop the Insanity 
posted online this week. “They didn’t listen, and look, 
the people have SPOKEN!”

The Mudslims haven't got a chance there, any more than to get
the crosses be to removed from Arlington.

Kudos to the people of Iowa !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with pumpkin carving knife Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 9, in 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a U.S. president. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Watch out for the fellow who talks about putting things in order! Putting things in order always means getting other people under your control. --- Denis Diderot (1713 - 1784) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Redneck Dickschonairy: Myth: Lesbian Moth ______________________________________________________ A granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with Nancy, and she decided to teach her to sew. After she had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, the granddaughter stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief: "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: That is Ship Island outside Gulfport, Mississippi ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Buford Boone, Dallas, Texas
Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with pumpkin carving knife A Dallas-area father carving jack-o-lanterns with his 7-year-old daughter for Halloween stabbed a suspected car thief with a knife after the alleged criminal broke into their home, police said on Wednesday. The suspect stole a car from a nearby gas station on Tuesday evening, crashed it and then ran into a neighborhood to try to elude officers, said police in Arlington, west of Dallas. Brian Hackney told the local NBC TV affiliate he was carving pumpkins with his daughter when the suspect ran into his home and began rifling through his wife's purse. Hackney said he had a knife readily in hand, confronted the intruder and stabbed him in the back. A neighbor called the 911 emergency line while Hackney held down the intruder until police arrived. "I just went into protection mode," Hackney told the television station. "Ladies say 'mama bear,' but it was 'papa bear' here." The father and daughter were not injured in the incident. The suspect was taken to a local hospital for treatment, police said. The suspect, identified as Buford Boone, has been charged with car theft and robbery. No lawyer was listed on his arrest report. To avoid racial profiling there is no mug shot.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ingrid Re: Which browser is better? Dear Webby, I have frequent "Browser is not responding" errors. I won't use IE for security reasons, just FF and Chrome. Which one is better, or what shoul I do? Ingrid Dear ingrid Yes. Between FF and Chrome, it is like with political parties. Each one is worse than the other. Both of those browsers have frequent updates and they are quite dilligent in removing security hazards, and they are even more dilligent in copying whatever new gimmick the other one came up with. We are getting to the point where FF and Chrome are just as badly overloaded as IE, where we need a totally new browser. There is no point switching back and forth betweem them. Pick whicever one is most comfortable for you, and get used to it's peculiarities. Get ONE-TAB, an add on for the browser. It is similar to Bookmarks, but easier to find recently one-tabbed items. With it you can reduce the number of tabs quite efficiently and easily resurract them. Naturally, the fewer open tabs you have, the faster your browser will run Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ There were 2 Irishmen walking along looking for jobs, when they came across a sign saying: TREE FELLERS WANTED. "Ohhh, to be sure, too be sure!" said one. "What a shame there are only the too of us!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Scents from Your Home I am chemical sensitive to perfumes, cigarettes, gasoline, etc. Sometimes we have guests come over with high perfume scents and when they leave the scent does not. Other situations would be: purchasing used furniture that has old moldy scent or cigarette/cigar smoke odor. One thing that seems to work the best for me is to use coffee grounds. You can purchase the cheapest coffee for this so it's an inexpensive trick. You just put the grounds in a brown paper bag or staple them up in coffee filters or for a little more money/convenience you can purchase the pre-packed coffee filters. Then you just set them around where the odors are. It can take a day or so to remove the odor completely, but in most cases you can at least handle the area within a short period of time. I hope this trick help many of you out. By Bergster417 [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I ran into his wheelchair with the car." ___________________________________________________
trucks meet on hairpin curve
____________________________________________________ A Guy and his wife are riding two up on a bike along a twisty road with a 55MPH limit. A cop pulls them over. "Had you going about 70 in 55 back there," says the cop. "Not me," says the guy, "Could be your radar picked up someone else or something, but my speedometer was set right on 55." The wife pipes up, "You were to going 70. I've told you 20 miles back you were going to get stopped if you didn't slow down." "Quiet please!" mumbles the guy. "Can I see your proof of insurance?" asks the cop. "Sure, my card is right here in my wallet." The wife says, "That card's no good and you know it. You haven't paid the last premium and the company sent you a cancellation notice." "Damn," yells the guy. "Would you shut up for a minute?" "Ma'am," says the cop. "Does this guy always talk to you like this?" "Only when he's been drinking." ____________________________________________________ A father gave his teenage daughter an untrained pup for her birthday. An hour later, while wandering through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen floor. her comment was: "My pup runneth over." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders >From Ed So my wife and I stayed at the Crescent Hotel high on the hill in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We chose that venue because it's supposed to be haunted. Most evenings, the guests are either exploring the hotel for the dearly departed or are taking the weekend ghost tour again hoping to encounter a ghost. Truth be told, we booked lodging there for the same reason. With all this talk about ghosts in mind, we retired for the evening. Now I'm an older guy and relieving myself several times during the night had become much more commonplace than it was in my younger years. I was hoping that one good scare might have me evacuating my bladder enough to get me a modicum of uninterrupted sleep. I knew better but hope springs eternal. As expected, during the midnight hours I paid John a visit and turned to go back to bed. It was then that I actually saw a ghost! I screamed and stood there in fear not moving a muscle. A few minutes passed when I noticed that the ghost didn't move unless I did. It was at that point that I realized I was staring at myself in the door mirror. Noella ____________________________________________________
I had no idea most of these strange animals existed!

Today, November 9, in
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see 
 the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip 
 by a U.S. president. 
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent 
 on neon advertising signs. 
1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. 
 He then fled to the Netherlands. 
1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops 
 that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the 
 evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall 
full of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other 
 labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 
1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500 
 Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and 
 rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became 
 known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 
1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world 
 record speed of 4,093 mph. 
1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated 
 its "caucasians only" rule. 
1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust 
 explosion. 
1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 
1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states 
 and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures 
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 
1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft 
 blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 
1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions condemning 
 the apartheid government in South Africa. 
1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon 
 Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants, 
 mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 
1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid 
 Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also 
 involved in the operation. 
1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
 to India. It was the highest loan to date. 
1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came 
 out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing 
 commentator for NBC. 
1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick Hart, 
 was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in 
 Washington, DC. 
1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its citizens 
 to travel freely to West Germany. 
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-aggression 
 treaty with Germany. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed for 
 assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked British 
 businesses to invest. 
1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust 
 settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered 
 to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging 
 of Nasdaq stocks. 
2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania Avenue 
in front of the White House to pedestrians.
2015  smiled.


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Thesaurus 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 8



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Arkansas mother, who was arrested after she put bourbon in her baby's bottle Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 8, in 1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin. --- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities. --- Henry James (1843 - 1916) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened. ______________________________________________________ Patient: "Nurse, during my operation I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much." Nurse: "What word was that?" Patient: "Oops!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lori Sheppard, 28,Mt. Holly, Arkansas
Arrested after she put bourbon in her baby's bottle NOVEMBER 6--When her teething infant son would not stop crying, an Arkansas woman called her mother and was told to rub some alcohol on the child’s painful gums. Instead, cops charge, Lori Sheppard, 28, put bourbon in her 10-month-old son’s bottle, leading to the infant’s hospitalization and her arrest for child endangerment and aggravated assault. Sheppard’s son Ronald was rushed last week to a hospital emergency room after he was found “limp and unresponsive.” Sheppard initially told cops that the child “was fine before she placed him in his playpen” inside the family’s trailer home in Mt. Holly, a community about 125 miles south of Little Rock. Sheppard claimed that when she briefly left the trailer, her five-year-old stepbrother went inside. When she returned to the home, Sheppard said she found Ronald “unconscious and unresponsive.” During police questioning, Sheppard initially denied giving the baby alcohol (the child’s father told police that there was “a 5th of bourbon in the freezer at the trailer”). But, cops say, she eventually confessed to putting booze in Ronald’s bottle. Sheppard told investigators that when Tylenol and Motrin did not relieve the infant’s discomfort, she sought advice from her mother, who suggested rubbing alcohol on Ronald’s gums. The child, who was airlifted to Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock, had a blood alcohol content of .19, according to a Union County Sheriff’s Office report. After several days of treatment, the boy was discharged into the custody of child welfare workers. Pictured above in an unfortunate message t-shirt, Sheppard was booked into jail on the felony charges. A judge set her bond at $10,000
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Open Office Thesaurus Hi Dear Webby, Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar: I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office. I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable. Do you have a solution? As always my sincere thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7 and the Thesaurus comes up showing a bunch of alternate words. There are two possibilities. 1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language or 2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics, without the Thesaurus. If it is #2, just reinstall it, and this time let it go whole hog. It takes more space, but that is the price you pay for having the big dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, thank you again for having the right answer. I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the Thesaurus works perfectly. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Teacher: If your father earned $100.00 and gave half to your mother, what would she have? Little Johnny: A heart attack! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Coffee Without a Coffeemaker A week ago, I broke our carafe to our coffee maker. My husband and I had already gone shopping so we had a full can of coffee. We were out of instant coffee, which made this an emergency, at least for me! My husband to the rescue. He made his own instant pouch using a coffee filter, twist tie and boiling water. Here are the instructions. Take 2 teaspoon per (8 oz.)cup of coffee. Add this to a coffee filter. Tie filter with twist tie or string. Drop filter into a pot of boiling water (16 oz. of water) Let coffee and filter simmer in hot water to desired color. The darker the stronger your coffee will taste. It's like boiling a tea bag in a pot of water. Sorry about my pic of my coffee, I also spilled non-dairy coffee creamer. No matter, I just did not feel like getting up to take a better pic, but I did enjoy my cup of coffee. By Georgetta Ruth [73] When I was living in the bush in the Yukon I rigged a coil of 3/8" copper tubing into the s tove pipe of the "kitchen stove" just outside the tent. The inside airtight was not used in summer. The copper pipe came out of the stove pipe high enough to neatly drip into a Melitta (Cone filter) sitting on top of a one gallon blue enamel coffee pot. The water for the water heater came from the high tank hanging up high inside the 12' x 16' tent. That made beautiful coffee for years until I finished building the new house. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ News Item: An Oregon State University animal rights activist denounces vegetarianism because mice, moles and rabbits are often killed in the preparation of farmland to grow vegetables. You might want to stop eating until the dogooders sort this out. ___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________ Two cowboys were scouting near their fort and worrying that the Indians might be overrunning them. As they listened to the distant pounding war drums, one cowboy muttered to the other: "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, an apologetic voice came from behind a bush, "Our regular drummer slept in." >From Barb ____________________________________________________ *Last night I was driving home and listening to a sports call-in program, carried by WGN in Chicago on SIRIUS. People were calling in, very upset, about the goat's head that was sent to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts at Wrigley Field.* *Then some guy called in from Indiana and said, "Why are you people so upset 'cause someone sent a goat's head to Wrigley Field? Aren't you Chicagoans the same guys that sent a horse's ass to the White House?" * *I had to pull over!* ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Not my blunder but by someone I knew well. As a truck driver, I have to be careful to pace myself for bathroom stops. It happened one day that my body wasn't cooperating with my paced schedule. At the next drop-off, before going into the office and having the papers signed, I ran into their restroom. You can imagine my relief as I downloaded (it wasn't #1). Now you can imagine my horror when I look down at the floor and see the hole where the stool was SUPPOSED to sit. I felt so sorry for those plumbers. Noella ____________________________________________________
So very limber and graceful.

Today, November 8, in
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public. 
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The 
 expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. 
 The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of 
 exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. 
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity 
 discovered the scientific principle involved and took 
 the first X-ray pictures. 
1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 
1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power 
 in Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be 
 known as the "Beer-Hall Putsch." 
1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive 
 order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The 
 organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4 
 million unemployed people in the U.S. 
1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 
1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and 
 British forces landed in French North Africa. 
1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle 
 took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down 
 a North Korean MiG-15. 
1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company 
 decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's 
 only son. 
1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 
1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California 
 announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the 
 planet Saturn. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop deployments 
 in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to the multi-
 national force fighting against Iraq. 
1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions 
 on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war. 
1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist 
 violence. 
1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from 
 the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were 
 valued at $52 million. 
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for 
 the Three Gorges Dam. 
2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner 
 of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 
2009 The game Angry Birds Star Wars was released. 
2015  smiled.


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Thesaurus for Open Office 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 7

Thank you, William!


Happy 29th birthday, Noella!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 7, in 1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?" ______________________________________________________ It's time to do my bi-annual rant about auto-responders. Every now and then some smooth-talking moron manages to persuade otherwise quite reasonable people to use auto-responders to embarrass themselves. If YOU are one of those, stop and think for a bit, before you have lost all your friends. What does an auto-responder accomplish ? 1) Everybody puts your address into their spam filters, because they are not interested in the silly drivel of your auto-responder. 2) People forget that now all mail from you automatically goes into the garbage, and they don't believe you when you tell them that you answered their mail. NOTHING else EVER gets accomplished by a personal auto-responder. Commercial auto-responders that reply with up-to-the-minute fresh road reports, or the weather, or inventory of daily specials if you write to a certain address, those are useful, because they supply information that you requested. However, does anybody really need to know that Dingbat's computer admits that it has received the mail that you sent her (since you sent the mail to HER and not the Easter Bunny, you more or less expected that anyway), and that Dingbat is too lazy or too drunk to answer you right now, or that she never answers after 5PM? Well, you expected that too, so why repeat the never changing obvious facts ? If you have an auto-responder, do yourself and your friends a favor and get rid of it. Then get yourself a new address and get re-aquainted with your former friends who thought you had died when all your mail got filtered into the garbage without anybody ever seeing it. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bob for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justin Grimes, 30, Daytona Beach, Floriduh
Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. A would-be thief allegedly decided to drop in for dinner —literally—at a Florida eatery Tuesday evening, WESH reports. Police say diners at Hibachi Grill and Supreme Buffet in Daytona Beach heard noises coming from the ceiling shortly before 30-year-old Justin Grimes fell through it. Patrons sprung into action, holding Grimes down until officers arrived. According to WFTV, police believe Grimes got into the ceiling through the bathroom and was attempting to make his way to the restaurant's office to steal money when he fell through the ceiling. WESH reports the restaurant's manager found broken ceiling tiles and a pair of shoes in the office, but it's unclear how they got there. Grimes has been charged with burglary.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Open Office Thesaurus Hi Dear Webby, Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar: I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office. I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable. Do you have a solution? As always my sincere thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7 and the Thesaurus comes up showing a bunch of alternate words. There are two possibilities. 1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language or 2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics, without the Thesaurus. If it is #2, just reinstall it, and this time let it go whole hog. It takes more space, but that is the price you pay for having the big dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, thank you again for having the right answer. I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the Thesaurus works perfectly. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your train!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Spanish Rice My grandmother, who was Mexican taught me how to cook this Spanish rice. Now my son who is 24 and living on his own, makes his own. Approximate Time: 20-30 minutes Yield: 6 or more servings Ingredients: 1 cup long grain white rice 3-4 green onion stalks, cut small (more or less, depending on your taste) 1 small ripe tomato, diced 1 1/2 cup chicken stock, warmed 1 can (small) tomato sauce (I use the spicy tomato sauce, but it's a matter of taste) Adobo seasoning to taste pepper to taste 2 Tbsp oil, any kind of your choice 2 Tbsp butter (not margarine, or I can't Believe it's not Butter) Steps: Saute the green onion and rice until the rice is slightly browned and has a nutty smell to it. Add the tomatoes and stir in. Then add the warmed chicken stock and tomato sauce. Season with the Adobo, or salt and pepper to taste, then add the butter. Simmer 18-20 minutes, or until rice is done and all liquid is absorbed and rice is tender. Source: My grandmother By Cathi Cates [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Anthony and Kathy married. Anthony thought this would be a modern marriage which meant equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Anthony brought Kathy breakfast in bed. Kathy wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, Anthony brought her a scrambled egg. Kathy wasn't having any of it. "Why can't I have some variety? I wanted poached this morning!" Determined to please Kathy, the next morning he brought her two eggs - one scrambled and one poached. "Here, my love... enjoy!" Kathy was furious, "You Bozo, you scrambled the wrong egg!" ___________________________________________________

the slap
____________________________________________________ A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. As she turns there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day M'am, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, what is going to happen to your pants when you hear the price?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I love to take pictures and was excited when I found out that I was going to get to go to the ocean in Florida. I'd never seen the ocean. I got up early, went out to the beach and waited for the sun to come up so I could get a sunrise picture. The sky was full of clouds and though it was getting lighter, I never did get to see the sun rise so I gave up. I decided to go back to the hotel and as I got into the car, I turned around and there was the sun, bright and shining. It had come up behind one of the casinos. Totally missed it! Noella ____________________________________________________
I prefer the house in the mountains where there is peace and quiet.

Today, November 6, in
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in the 
 American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony for heresy. 
1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by 
 William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or (Tippecanoe). 
1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was 
 shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying 
 to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 
1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as 
 an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 
1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by 
 Albert H. Hook. 
1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to vote. 
1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first 
 transcontinental railway in the mountains of British Columbia. 
1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The provisional 
 government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown by forces led 
 by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 
1918 During World War I, a false report through the United 
 Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 
1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington 
 state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension bridge had 
 opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 
1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first person 
 to win a fourth term as president. 
1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television commercials. 
1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland, OH, 
 becoming the first black mayor of a major city. 
1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that college 
 students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would lose their 
 draft deferments. 
1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of the 
 War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to wage 
 war without congressional approval. 
1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of Justice. 
 The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including 11 Supreme 
 Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by leftist guerrillas 
 belonging to the April 19 Movement. 
1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He had 
 been president since the country's independence in 1956. 
1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia, 
 becoming the first elected African-American state governor 
 in U.S. history. 
1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's first 
 African-American mayor. 
1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested positive 
 for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was retiring 
 from basketball. 
1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on 
 the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 
1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no contest 
 to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been arrested in 
 Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater. 
1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men admitted 
 to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 
2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first president's 
 wife to win public office. The state of New York elected her to 
 the U.S. Senate. (New York) 
2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched. 
2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying.
2015  smiled.


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IN and OUT mailbox appearing empty 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Moe 
Thank you, Mary 
Thank you, Richard

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving off with voting equipment Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 6, in 1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth president of the United States. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart. --- Alice Walker (1944 - ) The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC) Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo. The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night!" ______________________________________________________ Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the garden market," said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man asked. "Well when I got to the market, I asked the produce clerk, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' "The produce clerk said 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.' " ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Adele for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darrin Farmer, 55, North Versailles, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving off with voting equipment Authorities in western Pennsylvania say a local judge of elections was arrested after allegedly failing to show up to the polls Tuesday and instead deciding to work as a jitney driver for the day. The Allegheny County sheriff's office says 55-year-old Darrin Farmer of North Versailles (Vehr-SAYLESS) never came to the North Versailles precinct with voting equipment, delaying poll opening by three hours. Authorities say his wife said he dropped her off at a store to buy refreshments for volunteers but then left. They allege he decided to spend the day giving rides for money. Farmer faces charges including tampering with public records and obstructing a government function; a listed number for him couldn't be found and it's unclear whether he has an attorney who could respond to the charges.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Reliable email program Dear Webby, Once again I'm coming to the 'mountain' for HELP. Last evening I updated Mailwasher to the latest config. 7.7 and then this morning when I logged on and my mail was transferred to Eudora 7.1.0.9 all of the mail that was both in my in and out boxes (Eudora) has disappeared. I would like to have it (mail) back since I've not replied to some of them. I did nothing else with my desktop other than update Mailwasher. Can and would you shed some light to make my day brighter. Peace Frank Dear Frank Mailwasher doesn't do anything to Eudora beyond transferring the focus to it, like clicking on it to making it active. That sounds like a routine Windoze malfunction. Did you try closing Eudora and re-opening it? Or closing it, and then rebooting? Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, Like normal, I did as you instructed below. The emails came back BUT now in Eudora the inbox first left column with the 'dot' header is now showing a ? for ALL messages prior to this morning. This mornings recent mail shows the blue dot. The outbox is showing a red dot with an x inside the dot, in that same column for all sent messages including my initial request to you this morning prior to closing and reboot. Can you explain and can it be corrected? I'm having 'FUN!' now. Frank Dear Frank Normally Eudora keeps the IN and OUT box in RAM during operation, and writes to disk later. If Windoze decides it needs more RAM, it steals it from any non-Windows program. Theoretically, whatever it steals, is supposed to be written to the virtual memory (your hard drive). Sometimes that works OK, sometimes it doesn't. Eudora has a way to guard against that, and tells you to re-index the database. Compacting the database usually fixes the question marks and dots. To avoid that problem, keep the IN and OUT mailboxes small. Send mails to suitable mailboxes like Prayers, Recipes, Boobs, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes. Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Floor Cleaner with No Residue Have you ever mopped with a cleaner just to discover you have a sticky floor from the residue? We bought some rubber planking floor that looks like wood and I wanted a good cleaner so I did some research. My research took me finally to Amazon where there is a product called Congoleum Bright 'N Easy No Rinse Cleaner. A 32 oz. bottle is $13.99 plus shipping, but I tell you, that bottle will last. You use 1/4 of a cup to a gallon of water. The floors looked beautiful with no residue. After reading reviews, I saw people were using it in the kitchen on the tile floors so I tried that and the floors looked better than anything I used in the past. So I can do the tiles and plank floors with this and never have a buildup. By linda [61] Since my dishes dry nice and clean without residue, I have used a squirt of dish soap per gallon of hot water on my high gloss soft vinyl and gloss hardwood wood floor for the last 15 years. No dull film or buildup at all. My floors are as clean and shiny as my dishes and glasses. Other dish soaps will probably work just as well. If your dish soap doesn't leave a film on your glasses, then it won't leave a film on the floor either. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Barny, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits." ___________________________________________________

the slap
____________________________________________________ While John and Jill were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short form-fitting dress strolled by... Johns eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item Jill was examining, Jill asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders One time I was at the Farmer's market and was already lugging a big, (in the late 60's) fashionable wicker basket full of all kinds of fruit and veggies, when I spotted large pumpkins with a sign "1 penny". That sounded too good to be true. Well, on closer inspection I saw the tiny writing "per pound". Too late. By that time I was hooked. Since I was already overloaded I asked the farmer if he delivered, and gave him my address. "yes, sure," he said, if you buy a gross." I had no clue how many were in a gross, but I was hooked. I wanted some of those big, shiny pumpkins. He told me that he would weigh them and put the bill into my mailbox. I had to go to church choir after the farmers market and we went for some wine and cheese at the preacher's house afterward. So I didn't get home until quite late. The front door was barricaded with a pyramid of pumpkins, and half the porch was pumpkins 3 layers deep. I had no key for the back door with me. So, after crying for a bit, I circled the house looking for a window that I could burgle in through. Then a cop car stopped and a suspicious cop stomped over to me and yelled at me, wanting to know if I was trying to break in to that house. That made me mad and I screamed back at him just as loud: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am!" He jumped back two feet, and looked things over. Then he started laughing. Really laughing and doubling over, slapping his thighs and laughing. After that he helped me move the pyramid from the front door to the east side of the porch and make a pyramid there. After that I could finally get inside, put away the veggies and fruit, and murder a pumpkin. I didn't go for the bill in the mailbox for a couple of days. Noella ____________________________________________________
Yikes! Too scary for me!

Today, November 6, in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman 
 Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth 
 president of the United States. 
1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the 
 Confederacy in the U.S. 
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the 
 United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The 
 document granted rights to the United States to build and 
 indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses. 
1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of 
 Indian miners in South Africa. 
1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of 
 Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 
1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver. 
1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of 
 FM broadcasting. 
1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll 
 in the Pacific Ocean. 
1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited 
 when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800 
 feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led 
 by Red Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.
1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that 
 condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The 
 resolution also called for all member states to terminate 
 military and economic relations with South Africa. 
1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow 
 250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 
1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter. 
1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a 
 mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march 
 into the nation of Western Sahara. 
1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending 
 a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible 
 College in Georgia. 
1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over 
 northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents 
 to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban 
 resisters to the U.S-led invasion. 
1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19 
 Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 
1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in 
 Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being 
 the head of a family spy ring. 
1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the 
 Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been 
 secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release 
 of seven American hostages. 
1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S. 
 announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets 
 that had been held since 1979. 
1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern 
 California was destroyed in an arson fire. 
1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires 
 ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 
1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 
1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb 
 killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 
1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's 
 queen as their head of state. 
2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people. 
 The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 
2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state 
 newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were 
 robbers and killers aged 20-23. 
2015  smiled.


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Reliable email program 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 5

Thank You Cynjer!
Thank you Doug!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 5, in 2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Muslim Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people and wounded 30 others. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. --- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC) To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium". Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons,giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert.However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.In fact, Administratium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This moron-promoting characteristic has lead some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed wherever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You'll know it when you see it. ______________________________________________________ Q: How can I avoid always being handed other peoples' drooling brats? A: Drop one or two. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Rater, 62, Buckeye, Arizona
AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger A man in Buckeye, Arizona, is facing child endangerment charges after authorities said he left his 5-year-old granddaughter in the desert by herself with a loaded gun. Paul Rater, 62, took the girl for a ride in his pickup truck Sunday afternoon in the desert. Family members reported the two missing four hours later. The girl was eventually found by a firefighter who was riding around the desert on an ATV. She was crying for help, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told ABC15.com. Arpaio told the station the girl was found with a loaded and cocked .45 caliber handgun. "He told her it was to shoot the bad guys. How does a 5-year-old know the difference between good guys and bad guys?" Arpaio told the station. Rater was found a short time later at a local store. Investigators said he admitted leaving the girl in the desert and went for a few drinks and a cheeseburger, instead, according to CBS News. Rater also told authorities the truck got stuck and he and his granddaughter had to walk for help because he forgot to bring his cellphone, according to KPHO TV. When the girl couldn't walk anymore, Rater said he left her under a tree with the loaded gun. Deputies said Rater came across several people while he was looking for help, but never thought to call 911. The suspect said he asked people to look for his granddaughter because he left her in the desert, according to AZCentral.com. Witnesses at the South Buckeye Equestrian Center said Rater showed up there around 5:30 p.m. complaining about having to walk 10 miles. He never mentioned his granddaughter. Rater's wife told deputies he called her for a pickup an hour or so later, after consuming a cheeseburger and four alcoholic beverages. Rater was booked into a Maricopa County jail on suspicion of endangerment and two counts of reckless child abuse. He remains in custody on $25,000 bond, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Terry Re: Reliable email program Dear Webby, I have tried Outlook and Windows Live, and am not happy with either one. Which email program do you recommend and use? Terry Dear Terry I still use Eudora, and have used it since 1993. Never a problem. Thunderbird is based on Eudora and pretty well the same, just prettier and has a lot more emoticons. Either one is fast asnd reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. That will be $100. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith: "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Onions Fresh for Months If you keep your onions completely dry, separated, and hanging, they will last you for months. Take a washed or new pair of pantyhose and stack your onions vertically, then store in a cool dark place. Additionally, if you tie a knot in the hose between each whole onion, they will touch each other even less, lasting a bit longer. By attosa [133] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________

male pole "dancer" - unreal
____________________________________________________ Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Does anybody read my blunder bit? Noella ____________________________________________________
Beautiful landscape photography.

Today, November 5, in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when 
 he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. 
 Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to 
 celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament 
 and King James I. 
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful 
 cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 
1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting 
 to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an 
 automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers Company. 
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third 
 term in office. 
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of 
 Representatives at the age of 29. 
1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally re-opened.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the 
 Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at 
 L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 
1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's 
 tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of 
 weapons to Iran. 
1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 
 24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced 
 to life for treason against the white minority government. 
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong 
 evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child 
 (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings.
1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was 
 shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, 
 Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was 
 sentenced to life in prison for his part in the World Trade 
 Center bombing. 
1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in Detroit 
 during a struggle with police. Two officers were later convicted 
 in his death and sentenced to prison. 
1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had Alzheimer's 
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight champion 
 when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA 
 fight in Las Vegas, NV. 
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to 
 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates 
 from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 
1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested and 
 charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 
1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that Microsoft Corp. 
 enjoyed "monopoly power". 
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus and 
 Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture specializing in 
 airline services. 
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people 
 and wounded 30 others. 
2015  smiled.


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Mail pretending to be from me 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 4

Thank you, Cindy !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Indiana man, who was arrested after he assaulted girlfriend because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 3, in 1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the anethestic qualities of chloroform. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. --- Ken Keyes Jr. "An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." --- Evan Esar "Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor." --- Edgar R. Fiedler ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun." "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." "Okay," the man said with a smile, "then bill my brother-in-law." ______________________________________________________ The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!" "Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender. The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Clyde for this picture: Strangest picture of Ireland: An Irishman without beer or whiskey in his hand! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bryan Alwine, 27, Muncie, Indiana
Indiana man arrested after he assaulted girlfriend because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper An Indiana man is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly throwing his girlfriend to the ground during an argument over toilet paper, cops say. According to a Muncie Police Department report, the victim told cops that Bryan Alwine, 27, pushed her so hard that she “flew” and landed in the street outside the home they share with their daughter. The duo had been arguing, the victim said, “over toilet paper.” Alwine was allegedly upset because the victim had not purchased his preferred brand of toilet paper. As first reported by The Star Press, the woman “further stated that Bryan is very specific on what he likes to use and that he began yelling at her while they were still inside the home.” Officers responding to a 911 call Sunday night noted that the woman, who appeared “very frightened and nervous,” had a bloody elbow and a scratched knee. A witness who called police said that she saw Alwine “put his hands on” the victim and throw her to the ground. Alwine, pictured above, was arrested for felony domestic battery. He was freed from jail Tuesday after posting $5000 bond. Alwine has previously been arrested for threatening to kill the victim, who told police that a “history of violence” between the couple has “gone on for several years.” Muncie police reported that the victim is not being cooperative with investigators.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Mail from me Dear Webby, I get all kinds of mail that looks as if I had sent it, but is definitely not from me. I do send mail to myself frequently to file and keep, but these mails are just spam or scams. What can I do to stop that nuisance aside from changing my Yahoo address? Ann Dear Ann Changing your Yahoo address would help for a while, but sooner or later that nuisance will start again. We all get those spam and scam mails. I use MailWasher With that I make filters to for example mail FROM humor@webby.com that DOES NOT CONTAIN "Humor: " in the subject line then delete it on the server, automatically, without even showing it in the list. That way, when somebody sends a mail pretending to be from humor@webby.com, but doesn't have "Humor: " in the subject line, it gets murdered in the dark and sent straight to hell. You can send mail to humor@webby.com, just don't pretend to BE humor@webby.com. You can have all kinds of code words that will legitimize an email, for example DOES NOT CONTAIN RegEx "Recip|Prayr|Shoplis|Gardn" then nuke it on the server. You can use all the "Regular Expressions" if you want, but usually you just use the pipe | to add a bunch of alternates instead of making separate filters for them. Then after that you put the appropriate keyword in the subject line, and that email will be safe. That trick also helps you to organize your emails and automatically send mails with "Recip" in the subject line into your Recipe mailbox. Most email programs let you do that. So you win twice! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A Navy Chief ('which Navy' will go unspecified) was being court-martialed for an incident where he was found to be chased by a young lady through the hallways of the hotel in which they were both staying. Neither of them were wearing anything. The charge was that of "being out of uniform." The Chief's lawyer argued that the officer was not out of uniform, as the regulations read: "A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired for the activity in which he is engaged." The charges were dismissed. --------- Was that you, Jim? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Stainless Steel Cleaner Mix 1/4 cup vinegar, 2 tbsp baking soda, and 1/8 cup hydrogen peroxide. Add 4-6 cups hot water. Use a clean cloth. Dip cloth in solution and wring out, leaving cloth a little sloppy. Wipe down stainless steel with cloth. Allow to sit a minute. Wipe down with a dry cloth. Then wipe with a microfiber cloth. Very shiny! This solution also works to mop linoleum and tile floors and to clean the bathroom! By kattt [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ It's a good thing we UNsubscribed Ms Burkenheimer. She would probably consider this joke dirty. Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide announcements, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a timid female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys and need assistance." ___________________________________________________

true facts about the octopus (Not to be put in, but I love this guy :-)
____________________________________________________ The first time I heard the following story, it was told to me about 20 years ago by Danny, a former carpet layer. Knowing what he smoked, I actually believed him. According to his story, Danny had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt. While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the room. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my gerbil." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders It’s a personal rule of mine to never litter. My husband chewed tobacco. While out driving a few years ago we had a cup with his nasty stuff in it and it turned over in the car. We cleaned it up as best we could - no napkins - and our first thought was get rid of this cup so it doesn’t happen again. We're in the convertible anyway - he can spit out the window. I’m thinking - we’re so deep in the countryside now, no one will know if I throw it. The trees were very close, and I decided to wait for an opening so the cup wouldn’t bounce back into our car. As soon as we came to one, I threw, right into the face of a farmer plowing his field! Noella ____________________________________________________
16 Amazing Stair Hack Ideas. I love the "reading room."

Today, November 4, in
1846 - A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin Palmer. 
1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
 the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
1880 - James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 
1922 - In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the 
 lost tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 
1939 - During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality 
 stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy 
 allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 
1939 - At the 40th National Automobile Show the first 
 air-conditioned car was put on display. 
1942 - During World War II, Axis forces retreated from 
 El Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for 
 the British. 
1952 - In the United States, the National Security A
 gency (NSA) was established. 
1956 - Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress 
 the uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 
1979 - Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran 
 and took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The 
 militants, mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send 
 the former shah back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages 
 were later released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months. 
1984 - Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 
1985 - Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was 
 returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had 
 been kidnapped by the CIA. 
1989 - About a million East Germans filled the streets of 
 East Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 
1990 - Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to 
 fight a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 
1991 - Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in 
 Simi Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by 
 President Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, 
 Gerald R. Ford and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st 
 gathering of 5 U.S. chief executives. 
1995 - Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, 
 was assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after 
 attending a peace rally. 
1999 - The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against 
 the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The 
 sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to 
 turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with 
 masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in 
 Kenya and Tanzania. 
2001 - Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and 
 thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture 
 of sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba 
 received the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. 
 in nearly 40 years. 
2015  smiled.


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Black Screen 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 3

Thank you Hermon !
Thank you Patricia !
Thank you Sig !
Thank you Heather !
Thank you Norma !



If you have trouble getting to sites, that you regularly
go to, like Arcamax or Gocomics, the problem is not at those
sites or at the servers they are on. The problem is that
a bunch of major fiber cable bundles have been cut.
One cut is nenar Kansas City, one is at or near Washington, DC,
and another one I know of is cutting off Newark and all
the data centers connected to the internet backbone there.
There is also a cut in the backbone about 108 km from 
Montreal.

How do I know? Did ISIS tell me? No.
I use Traceroute from one of the Webby servers. 
You can use the Windows tracert.

Click on START, type cmd and hit ENTER.
In the scary, black DOS style screen, type
tracert webby.com
or any domain you want to check,
for example
traceroute arcamax.com
If you see stars, those are breaks.
If you see 3 stars, that is a cut.

Asia looks even worse!
The Shanghai hub is not accessible.
Tokyo is cut.
Iran and Iraq are out.
India is down to 75%.

Africa is down to 0%,
so is Bulgaria, italy, Poland,Spain,
part of Sweden, and the Milton Keynes part of UK.

Australia is mostly at around 80%, as usual,
but new Zealand is 0%.

South America seems to have recovered except for Colombia.

I have no idea who made all those cuts or who coordinated
the cutting to all happen on the same day. 
There is nothing you or I can do about it.

Luckily our servers are not affected.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat and fake penis, who was arrested for drunk driving. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 3, in 1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Men who never get carried away should be. --- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank God," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to." ______________________________________________________ A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss." He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bonnie for this picture: Atlantic Ocean in Hampton Beach State Park, NH about 30 miles from my house. Nice day & we enjoyed the walk on the beach couple weeks ago. Like to share with y'all. Bonnie in Candia, NH ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ross McDonald, 39, Iowa City, Iowa
Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat and fake penis arrested for drunk driving. After being arrested for drunk driving, a Halloween reveler wearing only a trench coat and “a piece of cloth that looked like a penis” attempted to eat toilet paper in a bid to foil a Breathalyzer test, Iowa police report. Cops yesterday pulled over Ross McDonald, 39, after they spotted him driving the wrong way on an Iowa City street around 3 AM. According to a criminal complaint, McDonald was “extremely confused” and could not tell officers “what bar he was coming from.” McDonald, who claimed to have consumed two drinks, had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and unsteady balance, cops noted. He also appeared to be dressed in a “flasher” costume: “Def was only wearing a trench coat and a piece of cloth that looked like a penis.” Upon arrival at the police precinct, McDonald “attempted to eat toilet paper, thinking it would mess with” the Breathalyzer. McDonald had initially refused the breath test, but “changed his mind after attempting to eat the toilet paper.” Despite McDonald’s cunning plan, his blood alcohol content was measured at .165, twice the legal limit. Since McDonald has prior drunk driving convictions, he was hit with a felony charge carrying a maximum five-year prison sentence. Seen in the above mug shot, McDonald was released from jail yesterday afternoon after posting $5000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: Black Screen Dear Webby, Still getting black screen when I surf and also stuck cursor. I tried system restore and it wouldn't work. Should I install the disc to renew installation? hank If you have a restore disk, then that would definitely be an option. Some machines have a restore disk in a hidden partition. Call Support of the manufacturer and ask them to walk you through a restore. You have to do that, of course, back up all your data, spreadsheet files, documents you have written, addresses, tips and tricks and cheat-sheet files, and your awesome collection of pussycat pictures. Also the setup files of all programs and the license numbers of all the bought ones. A restore totally wipes out everything you got, and restores the machine to the same state, that it was when you bought it. A total back-up like that is of course highly recommended anyway, even if you are not going to restore just yet. Before getting quite that drastic, you could try installing Chrome and then Uninstalling IE and FF. I would also recommend that you use the DeCrapifier at https://www.pcdecrapifier.com/ and weed out any program, that you are not actually using. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A couple was going out for the evening. They were both ready to go, nice clothes, hair done, perfume, cologne, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat shot back into the house. Not wanting their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out. Well, the wife did not want anyone to know the house would be empty for the evening, so she explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and said, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid old ninny was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a wet mop to get her to come out." The cab driver almost hit a parked car. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Picasso Light Switch Plate Cover Turn a plain white light switch cover into a little Picasso like painting. Approximate Time: 25 min Supplies: 1 light switch cover with screws 1 flat screwdriver sponge to clean surface on switchplate cover newspaper permanent markers or acrylic paint paint brushes Steps: Turn light off. Remove light switch cover if you don't already have one. Place down newspaper. Wipe well with sponge and dry. Mark basic ouline with black permanent marker, including eye, nose, and mouth. Paint and color, use your own ideas and colors. Have fun creating abstract art known as cubism! Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer. When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the screws to match eye and lips and paint them. Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer. When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the screws to match eye and lips and paint them. All done! Enjoy your little Picasso like mini painting. :) Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn_-ckw4um8 By KIM HOGGAN [8] You can, of course, also just glue wallpaper or any picture onto switch and outlet covers. Spray-on contact cement works best. Spray the switch cover and the back of the picture, let it dry a bit, and position it on it. Trim the edges or fold them under it. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A kindergarten teacher is walking around her classroom observing her students while they draw. One little girl is working especially diligently, so the teacher asks what she is working on. "I'm drawing God," the child says. The teacher pauses, then says, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replies, "They will in a minute." ___________________________________________________

2015 World Synchro Champs SP Team Canada
____________________________________________________ There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after marriage. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders In the 1960s I was still very young and working at my very first job. To supplement my income I cleaned house on Saturdays for a friend. My friend was quite messy plus he had a large dog that shed pounds of hair, so it usually took several hours to clean his apartment. One day I was about ready to go home when he called to ask if I would place some chicken in the oven to broil as he'd be home soon. Where I grew up we fried chicken, so I knew nothing about broiling. I asked for instructions and he told me to pull out the rack, place the chicken on it and turn on the broiler. It sounded easy enough so I took him at his word and placed the chicken on the rack and turned on the oven to “broil.” About 15-20 minutes later he came home looking forward to broiled chicken. You're going to have to "picture" this. What he came home to was chicken laying on the oven rack, the skin hanging and dripping between the slats! I had no idea there was a difference in oven racks and broiler racks. I sure did after I cleaned up the mess! Noella ____________________________________________________
Watching these kinetic sculptures is mesmerizing!

Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa 
 Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself 
 to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
 England insisted on monopoly rights to sell Opium.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte, 
 IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Columbia. 
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet 
 and William C. Durant. 
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese 
 may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a 
 supermarket in Chester, NY. 
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade 
 satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into 
 space, a dog named Laika. There was not enough cooling and the dog 
 died from heatstroke.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29, 1974 it 
 became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to death 
 in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in Greensboro, NC. 
 Eight others were wounded. 
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke the 
 story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of seven 
 American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra affair. 
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to Iran. 
1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-ever 
 face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two 
 sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had 
 been abducted by a black carjacker. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington 
 National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am 
 Flight 103. 
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro 
 wrestler, as its governor. 
2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a 
 58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution 
 was unveiled. 
2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the 
 first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 
2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for 
 business. 
2015  smiled.


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Safe download for Open Office 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 2

Thank you Andy !!!
Thank you Carol !
Thank you Virginia !!.
Thank you James !
Thank you Richard !
Thank you Bonnie !
Thank You Gary !!.
Thank you William .
Thank You Svend !.
Thank You Ronald !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida twin women arrested after holding up convenience store Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 2, in 1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American Birth Control League. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Efficiency is intelligent laziness. --- David Dunham ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado." I wonder if that was inspired by the old 2 foot iron ball windometer by the bridge outside of Lethbridge, Alberta? One time driving by there a few decades ago I noticed the ball was missing and mentioned it to my hitch-hiker. She didn't think it was safe to drive on up to Calgary. I agreed with her and we soon found safe and quite cozy refuge in a really nice motel :-) ______________________________________________________ Church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and Florence agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, Florence replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gary for this picture: Hello Webby, Huckleberry Lake is a favorite fishing spot of mine. Located in the Absaroka-Beartooth wilderness of Montana. It was the last picture the old 35mm took before it died. Feel free to post it if you want. Gary Lorenzen ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter, The Stonecarver for reporting this one: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kirstie Bergeron, Kayla Bergeron 24, Daytona Beach, Florida
Florida twins arrested after holding up convenience store Twin sisters are locked up on robbery charges after they allegedly held up a Florida convenience store at gunpoint Tuesday evening. According to police, Kirstie Bergeron and her sibling Kayla walked into the Food Mart store in Daytona Beach and proceeded to a refrigerator, where Kayla selected a bottle of ginger ale. The 24-year-old twins then approached the front counter. “I have a gun, open the register!” announced Kayla, as detailed in a Circuit Court charging affidavit. “Are you kidding me?” replied clerk Sabbir Ahmed. Kayla then “removed her hand from her pocket and displayed what appeared to be a small handgun,” reported an investigator. As Kayla pointed the piece at Ahmed, the 37-year-old worker opened the cash register and Kirstie reached over the counter and snatched $230. The Bergerons fled the scene in a black Volkswagen Beetle that was parked next to the store. But as the twins departed, Ahmed copied down the car’s license plate number. The siblings were soon arrested after a traffic stop less than a mile from the Food Mart. Kirstie and Kayla are pictured in the above mug shots. While cops recovered the stolen cash and the ginger ale, no firearm was found. Police suspect the weapon “may have been discarded” following the robbery. Charged with robbery with a firearm or deadly weapon, the Bergerons are each locked up in the Volusia County jail on $25,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandra Re: Free Powerpoint Dear Webby, For some reason I have micros-soft office Word and Excel, but no Power Point program. Is it safe to download one of the free Powerpoint programs without worry about crap getting on my computer? Thanks, I know it sounds like a 'dumb' question, but I want no virus or tracking stuff on my otherwise safe zones; I use both Malwarbeytes and Avast. Again, I'm so glad your computer guru talents are available to people like me! SD Dear Sandra Yes, if you go to the vendors directly, it is perfectly safe. You can get Open Office at http://www.openoffice.org/download/ They celebrated their 100 MILLIONth download by last month. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One evening a few years ago my friend Bill ran out of gas on his way home from work. Being short on cash, as usual, he walked 6 Miles to get home, and left his pick-up truck where it sat, in front of the topless bar next door to the massage parlor. By then his wife had gone to Bingo and he couldn't get neither money for gas, nor a ride back to the truck, so he cooked supper, cleaned up the kitchen and then went to bed. At the next church elder meeting, Miss Myrna, the town gossip ranted on about his immoral conduct and about how she had PROOF, because she saw where he had parked ALL night ! Well, Bill told his co-workers about that, and one of them was a regular at that topless bar. That guy told the story there. From then on, whenever he or his friends planned to later take a cab home rather than drive drunk, they all parked their vehicles in front of Miss Myrna's lonely house, - and walked half a mile to the bar. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing a Stuck Lid from a Pan My boyfriend was making burgers and wanted to melt cheese on top of one with a bun covering it. To melt the cheese faster, he put a glass lid over the burger and the steam sucked it into the pan and then it was stuck. I did a Google search for help without much luck. I left the pan in the fridge for a few days, took it out today and decided to hit the side of the pan against the concrete. The lid came out instantly! Try this instead of other methods and you'll get your pan back in record time! By Stacy G. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you have to do" she told her class, is this: two steps forward, three steps back, then side-step, side-step, turn around" ___________________________________________________

Crazy dog chases it's own leg
____________________________________________________ Why did the Newfie businessman go fishing instead of attending a meeting? "Just for the halibut." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders The day was already going badly. I'm complaining to Bill that the milk had been left out all night, it was the last day to renew car tags, but we needed an inspection and everybody was closed, the shopping cart at Aldis won’t let me have my cart nor my quarter back. Then while unloading groceries I lock my purse and keys in the trunk. As I said, the day was not good. I remembered the back seat pulled down, so here I am with my back killing me, crawling around the back of a small Cavalier fighting groceries. Finally find my purse and keys, crawl out and drive home where I have to unload groceries (about 6 trips) up six steps and into the house. Then there's laundry and emptying the dishwasher and putting groceries away. BUT I have to go back to the store because I forgot we need stuff for the Halloween party for 40+ kids. I am really feeling sorry for myself and I'm complaining - crawling around did not help my back. I'm looking for sympathy, but Bill just questions, Why didn’t you use the trunk release beside the front seat? Noella ____________________________________________________
Best of the month of October, People Are Awesome.

Today, November 2, in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his 
 title to emperor. 
1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont, became 
 the first traitor of the American Revolution when he deserted. 
1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 
1883 Thomas Edison got a patent for an electrical indicator using 
 the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat. 307,031). 
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first American gasoline powered car contest
1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support for 
 a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 
1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with 
 Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American 
 Birth Control League. 
1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 
1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. 
 It was named DuPrene. 
1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden airplane, 
 for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's first and only 
 flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of the white-gray 
 color of the spruce used to build it, never went into production. 
1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in 
a military coup. 
1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for 
 permanent residence in the U.S. 
1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey 
 prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973 
 murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 
1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the U.S. 
 since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of her 
 boyfriend. 
1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being held in 
 Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 
1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of taxicab 
 service in Princeton, NJ. 
1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good because 
 of fear due to his HIV infection. 
1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood's 
 diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 
1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up $1.1 billion 
 in trading losses. 
2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The film recorded 
 the best debut ever for an animated film and the 6th best of all time. 
2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the church's 
 first openly gay bishop.
2015  smiled.


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Keystroke Macro recorder 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 31
End of Summer Time in most of North America.
Let your clocks fall back an hour tonight.
You get an extra hour of sleep.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award and a Darwin Award goes to a Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the Protestant Reformation in Germany. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly. --- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592) Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. --- Mark Twain As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!" ______________________________________________________ A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a wide grin, "For our .hic... clo-shing shong, let ush shing Hymn # 365: "We Shall Gather at the River." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Floyd Ray Cook, 62, Brookhaven, Georgia
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out A fugitive accused of shooting a Tennessee police officer and firing at a Kentucky trooper was killed in a shootout with authorities early Friday, ending a nearly weeklong manhunt. Floyd Ray Cook, 62, was pronounced dead at the scene near Burkesville, Ky., after being confronted by state troopers and a federal marshal who were searching an embankment, a Kentucky State Police rep says. Cook was armed with a handgun and exchanged gunfire with the officers, the rep adds. No officers were injured. Cook was accused of shooting and wounding an Algood, Tenn., police officer during a traffic stop last Saturday afternoon and fled in a black Ford truck. Just over an hour later, a Kentucky State Police trooper tried to stop him just beyond the Tennessee state line, authorities say. Cook tried to speed away but wrecked. He allegedly opened fire on the officer, missed, and ran into the woods. A swath of the border between Kentucky and Tennessee had since been gripped with fear of the man authorities described as "armed, dangerous, and desperate." Convicted of rape in the 1970s, Cook was wanted in Marion County, Ky., for failing to comply with the sex offender registry, a sheriff says. He also had previous convictions for robbery, burglary, assault, and riot, and he was wanted in Hardin County on an indictment charging him with trafficking methamphetamine and tampering with evidence.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: Keystroke recorder Dear Webby, I hope all is well. I wanted to know if you have hear of a program that will allow your computer to record the keystrokes and then "replay them" (to cut down on repetitive tasks)? Thanks, Dave Dear Dave There are lots of those. They are usually called macro recorders. An old one has been in Windows since 3.1, I think. The XP and up version is described with instructions at Macro Recorder Here is a review of the top ten macro recorders: Top 10 Just pick the one that suits you best. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A mother took her three year old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice "Happy Birthday to you!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ice for Getting Gum out of a Dryer When I found the gum, I didn't want to put a chemical in my dryer, nor did I want to scrape it with a knife and an ice cube. Here is how I got gum out of my dryer fast. I had saved a couple of those plastic fishnet bottle or candle covers (open at both ends) in my junk drawer. I took a rubber band and sealed off one end of the plastic cover. I filled it with ice and sealed off the other end with another rubber band. I scrubbed using the ice bag as a sponge and followed with a dry rag. It made quick work of getting the gum out of the dryer. By Mary Keenan W. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ During a rather heated argument a teenager said, "I didn't ask to be born." His father: replied, "Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have been 'NO!!!'." ___________________________________________________

Restroom Mirror prank
____________________________________________________ After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6 year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know." The boy thought about that, then said, "Well, listening ain't easy, either." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Saturday mornings in St. Louis I'd walk downtown, shop for a while, eat lunch, catch a movie, and then walk home. This particular day even though my hair was a mess and really needed washing, it was very important that I pick up whatever it was I needed, so I walked downtown. While looking through the electronics department, I noticed on their television that there was a lady whose hair was similar to mine and I thought to myself, well, her hair doesn’t look so bad. The longer I studied the screen I noticed that her clothes were similar to my own. I studied her a while, and I finally realized I was watching myself. This was the first time I’d ever seen a closed-circuit TV in use. I had to look around and make sure no one saw me “admiring” myself before I hurried out. Noella ____________________________________________________
AirShow Budapest Beautiful town and awesome aerobatics

Today, October 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the 
 Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the 
 Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers 
 (Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis 
 resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been 
 damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the 
 stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini 
 had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and 
 their ability to withstand hard blows. 
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain 
 prevented Germany from invading Britain. 
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work. 
 At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George Washington, 
 Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln 
 were finished. 
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a 
 German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered 
 World War II. More than 100 men were killed. 
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a 
 revolt against French rule. 
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land 
 an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first 
 person to set foot on the South Pole. 
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, 
 TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the 
 time he was in Moscow, Russia. 
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. 
 bombing of North Vietnam. 
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as 
 Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 
1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the 
 U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had 
 mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near 
 her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, 
 was sworn in as prime minister. 
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had 
 been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were 
 blamed for the murders. 
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged 
 into a northern Indiana farm. 
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in 
 prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death 
 of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her sentence 
 was reduced to manslaughter. 
1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N. arms 
 inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's weapons 
 of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990. 
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA, 
 killing all 217 people aboard. 
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church 
 signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. The 
 event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute over the nature of 
 faith and salvation. 
2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 
2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of 
 VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United States 
 supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 
2015  smiled.


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How do you know a caller is a scammer? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 30
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia man, who was arrested after he smashed Waffle House door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave uprising in American history. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged as he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks of ten years older because of your wisdom." ______________________________________________________ HOW FAITHS FIGHT FIRES Recently, just as an ecumenical gathering was commencing, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!" The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed. The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for blessings that fire brings. The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring that fire was evil. The Roman Catholics called Rome for instructions. The Jews blamed the Christians and demanded they should pay. The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself." The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God!" The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out. The Christian Scientists concluded that the toxic fumes from the burning carpets would kill them before the fire reached them. The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson, who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report. The Pentecostals danced and sang with joy, "The Pentecostal fire has come!" The Unity Students proclaimed the fire had no power over them. Some Atheists in attendance didn't believe there was a fire. The Muslims stated it was Ahlla's will. The Pastafarians grabbed the fire extinguisher, put out the fire and conrtinued eating their spaghetti. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, Brookhaven, Georgia
Man arrested after he smashed Waffle House door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, was arrested Sunday morning after police said he shattered the front door of a Waffle House in Brookhaven, Georgia. The reason for the breakfast breaking: He was allegedly angry the restaurant raised the price for a sausage biscuit from $1 to $1.50, WSBTV.com reports. A Waffle House waitress told police that when Feinberg saw the bill with the 50-cent price hike, he became belligerent because “someone had only charged him $1 [for a sausage biscuit] on previous dates,” according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Surveillance video reportedly shows the suspect get up from a corner booth, throw his bill on the floor and kick the front door on his way out. When the glass shattered, Feinberg fled the scene, only to be arrested outside a nearby apartment complex a short time later. Police said Feinberg told them he "barely kicked the door” when it shattered, and said he only kicked it because “he did not want to open the greasy door with his hand,” according to the police report. Feinberg was booked into the DeKalb County Jail on charges of disorderly conduct, criminal trespass and criminal damage to property. He remains in custody in lieu of $2,500 bond. The Brookhaven Police Dept. decided to use the incident as a teachable moment on Facebook.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Christine Re: How do you know a caller is a scammer? Dear Webby, How do I know a caller is a scammer? Couldn't it be somebody helpful? Christine Dear Christine Except for close friends, NOBODY legitimate calls you out of the blue about supposed problems in your computer. You can ignore those totally phony messages about Microsoft contacting you if they ever find out why a program locked up. That's from Windows 3, and they have never contacted anybody yet, as far as I know. If the caller claims to be from your ISP, then they are just as phony. Your ISP does not give a hoot about what goes on inside your computer, as long as YOU don't call them. The same goes for anybody calling and asking any information "to verify that it is really you." Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Who is known as the "godfather of America"? German geographer and mapmaker Martin Waldseemueller, whose book "Cosmographiae Introductio" was first published in 1507, named the New World "America" in the mistaken belief that it was Italian navigator and merchant Amerigo Vespucci who discovered the new continent. And the Indians are forever grateful that they were not discovered while somebody got lost on the way to Turkey. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sorting Socks into Pairs The one item I never put into a dryer is socks, because they always seem to shrink in there. So instead they get hung on the washing line on good days, or indoors on a foldaway airer on rainy days. Either way, this makes for a good opportunity to sort socks into pairs at an optimum time. It's a job I am sure that most of us hate, but if you do it as you hang them up it is an absolute breeze to sort out which matches what. Then very simply bunch the pairs together as you take them down once they are dry. Have a shoe box or something similar for odd socks and keep them in there for a few weeks in case their partners turn up on a subsequent washday. By ShirleyE [29] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no attempt to restrain her four-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." "Nah," said the doctor calmly, "That's just poisons in there. They take some time but are quite effective. He'll be quiet soon." ___________________________________________________

The drunk
____________________________________________________ On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!' The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat. Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!' Larry did this a few more times before the principal came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem. The principal told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of. The teacher suggested they try some biology questions. What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?' asked the teacher. 'Legs!' Larry immediately replied. What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn't?' asked the teacher. Pockets!' said Larry. The teacher looked at the principal, who said, Maybe he should be in third grade, I flunked those last two questions!' ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders For as long as I can remember I've been plagued with trying to remember names and faces. All the tried and true remedies failed. One day in the checkout lane at a new grocery store, a young man came up, pushed my cart away, and started bagging my groceries. I was wondering now how am I going to get them out to my car, they're way too heavy to carry. I was about to ask for the cart when he asked if I wanted help. Irritated, I said yes,ť thinking now that you pushed my cart away, you CAN take them out for me. However, he was very pleasant and chatted about what a nice day it was. I replied that yes it WAS a nice day, I just needed to find my car. (I also forget stuff like that.) He responded, "Oh that's okay, I see it."ť Surprised, I asked, How do YOU know where my car is?" His reply -- "I'm your next-door neighbor!"ť Noella ____________________________________________________
Let's arm chair travel around this big ol' beautiful world we live on. It will only take about a week.

Today, October 30, in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established 
 by Simon Bolivar. 
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton 
 County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave 
 uprising in American history. 
1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 
1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman 
 Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 
1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper. 
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio. 
 The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live 
 news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 
1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 
1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of 
 approximately 58 megatons. 
1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to increase 
 Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 
1972 45 people were killed when two trains collided in Chicago. 
1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator 
 Francisco Franco was near death. 
1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: 
 Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President 
 Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal 
 bailout of New York City. 
1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity 
 priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four 
 security officers. 
1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent 
 of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 
1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space, 
 performed the world's first animal dissections in space, 
 while aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 
1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian 
 President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military 
 still in control. 
1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a 
 referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 
1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the 
 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads raided 
 the plane. 
2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw out 
 the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between the New 
 York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks. 
2001 Michael Jordan returned to the NBA with the Washington Wizards 
 after a 3 1/2 year retirement. The Wizards lost 93-91 to the 
 New York Knicks.
2015  smiled.


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