What to do if Skype messed up your mug shot? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, November 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 10, in 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. --- Aesop Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen, let adversity teach him. --- Ethiopian Proverb ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower: Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1." Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!" There was a brief moment of silence. First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!" ______________________________________________________ Tim was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, Dear," he said. "Of course, Tim," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die, he said, "I want you to marry Lawrence." "But I thought you hated Lawrence," she said. With his last breath, Tim said, "I do!" ______________________________________________________ Tougher than hockey ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam Tanzer, 26, Palm Harbor, Florida
Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma A Florida man pushed his 82-year-old grandmother to the ground Saturday night after he was denied "her debit card, which he needed to buy cake,” police allege. Adam Tanzer, 26, was arrested for battering the elderly victim during a dispute inside her residence in Palm Harbor, a community about 25 miles west of Tampa. According to cops, Tanzer pushed Barbara Bliss to the ground “in an aggressive way,” causing her to fall on her hands and hip. Tanzer was allegedly angry that his grandmother “took away her debit card he needed to buy cake.” Bliss, cops noted, was yelling at Tanzer, so he “pushed her away from himself and caused Bliss to fall on her hip.” The report does not indicate what injuries were suffered by Bliss, who did require medical treatment. Tanzer, pictured above, was charged with battery on a person 65 or older, a felony. He was released from jail yesterday afternoon, and has been ordered to have no contact with his grandmother.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Adele Re: Skype picture messed up Dear Webby, All of a sudden my Skype picture got changed. Instead of a carefully selected picture it nhow shows me with curlers and green mudpack. Terrible! How do I get my picture back? Adele Dear Adele Your 1976 glamor shot is gone. You will not get that back. You have two options now: Use Skype and take a new picture, like your already famous rhino with green mud-pack picture, or browse for an acceptable one. A lot of people use a picture of their daughters or grand daughters. Some use a snapshot harvested at the mall. It is entirely up to you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Jean A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The doctor asks "what's the problem?" The woman says, "doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me." The doctor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh and reborn. The woman says, "doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?" The doctor says, "the water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Alternative to Wet Wipes Since the thick cloth Wet Wipes are expensive and not good for a septic system, I always keep a small spray bottle with some water in it within a spare toilet roll next to my toilet. You could even add one tiny drop off liquid soap and/or essential oil if desired. Just spritz the tissue you are going to use and wipe! It's great for an extra clean wipe up from the young to non so young! By Donna [294] Those cheap 8" x 8" Microfiber samples work even better. They don't tear, and can be washed and line dried. Their cleaning ability is a thousand times better. Ketchup from a white rug? No problem. Ball point pen from aunt Louises's blouse? No problem. Buy a box. Visitors are going to borrow them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis. It was the hardest spelling test he ever took. ___________________________________________________
GoPro falls into pit of rattlesnakes (the guys are going to love this one)
____________________________________________________ At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress there. All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in. They observed the connection between the waitress and the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive remarks trying to get the trucker to start something. But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill and walked out. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like your boyfriend ain't much of a man." The waitress just leaned on the cash register and looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over three bikes out there." ____________________________________________________ Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure me and my rolling pin would be waiting for you at the front door." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I used to love shopping downtown at the large department stores, you know the ones, where ladies' clothing is on one floor, men's on another, fine dining on another, etc. There's usually 9-10 floors of shopping. I miss those days. Anyway, one day while shopping, I was walking along, not paying any attention to where I was going and I ran into someone. I immediately started apologizing. I stepped back to get out of their way, and to my dismay, it wasn’t a person, it wasn’t even a manikin, it was a large round supporting post. Do you know how you feel when you're apologizing to the supporting post of a building? Noella ____________________________________________________
Well, this is different.

Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of 
 the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence 
 after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The 
 Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. 
 This day is observed as the birth date of the United States 
 Marine Corps. 
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling. 
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David 
 Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in 
 central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
 "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when 
 Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart 
 in Alameda, CA. 
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that 
 equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in 
 December of 1991. 
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of 
 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be 
 executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was 
 put to death the following January. 
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped 
 in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the 
 cab fare. 
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack 
 at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be 
 the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was 
 cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital 
 sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. 
 Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her 
 husband. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, 
 which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing 
 the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following 
 week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action 
 would end trade sanctions. 
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa 
 along with several other anti-government activists. 
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a 
 massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left 
 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was 
 the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two 
 CIA employees in 1993. 
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder 
 conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to 
 time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old 
 Matthew Eappen. 
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org) 
 was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall 
 through the Internet. 
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 
2015  smiled.


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Which browser is better? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 9

Members of the city council in Iowa City, Iowa voted Monday 
to remove a veterans memorial that included a cross from 
a local park, and in turn, members of the community voted 
on Tuesday to remove those council members from office.

”We warned them multiple times if they let our town down. 
they WILL be voted out,” Allison Schmitz of Stop the Insanity 
posted online this week. “They didn’t listen, and look, 
the people have SPOKEN!”

The Mudslims haven't got a chance there, any more than to get
the crosses be to removed from Arlington.

Kudos to the people of Iowa !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with pumpkin carving knife Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 9, in 1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a U.S. president. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Watch out for the fellow who talks about putting things in order! Putting things in order always means getting other people under your control. --- Denis Diderot (1713 - 1784) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Redneck Dickschonairy: Myth: Lesbian Moth ______________________________________________________ A granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with Nancy, and she decided to teach her to sew. After she had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, the granddaughter stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief: "You mean you can do all that, but you can't operate my Game Boy?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: That is Ship Island outside Gulfport, Mississippi ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Buford Boone, Dallas, Texas
Texas robber arrested after getting stabbed with pumpkin carving knife A Dallas-area father carving jack-o-lanterns with his 7-year-old daughter for Halloween stabbed a suspected car thief with a knife after the alleged criminal broke into their home, police said on Wednesday. The suspect stole a car from a nearby gas station on Tuesday evening, crashed it and then ran into a neighborhood to try to elude officers, said police in Arlington, west of Dallas. Brian Hackney told the local NBC TV affiliate he was carving pumpkins with his daughter when the suspect ran into his home and began rifling through his wife's purse. Hackney said he had a knife readily in hand, confronted the intruder and stabbed him in the back. A neighbor called the 911 emergency line while Hackney held down the intruder until police arrived. "I just went into protection mode," Hackney told the television station. "Ladies say 'mama bear,' but it was 'papa bear' here." The father and daughter were not injured in the incident. The suspect was taken to a local hospital for treatment, police said. The suspect, identified as Buford Boone, has been charged with car theft and robbery. No lawyer was listed on his arrest report. To avoid racial profiling there is no mug shot.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ingrid Re: Which browser is better? Dear Webby, I have frequent "Browser is not responding" errors. I won't use IE for security reasons, just FF and Chrome. Which one is better, or what shoul I do? Ingrid Dear ingrid Yes. Between FF and Chrome, it is like with political parties. Each one is worse than the other. Both of those browsers have frequent updates and they are quite dilligent in removing security hazards, and they are even more dilligent in copying whatever new gimmick the other one came up with. We are getting to the point where FF and Chrome are just as badly overloaded as IE, where we need a totally new browser. There is no point switching back and forth betweem them. Pick whicever one is most comfortable for you, and get used to it's peculiarities. Get ONE-TAB, an add on for the browser. It is similar to Bookmarks, but easier to find recently one-tabbed items. With it you can reduce the number of tabs quite efficiently and easily resurract them. Naturally, the fewer open tabs you have, the faster your browser will run Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ There were 2 Irishmen walking along looking for jobs, when they came across a sign saying: TREE FELLERS WANTED. "Ohhh, to be sure, too be sure!" said one. "What a shame there are only the too of us!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Scents from Your Home I am chemical sensitive to perfumes, cigarettes, gasoline, etc. Sometimes we have guests come over with high perfume scents and when they leave the scent does not. Other situations would be: purchasing used furniture that has old moldy scent or cigarette/cigar smoke odor. One thing that seems to work the best for me is to use coffee grounds. You can purchase the cheapest coffee for this so it's an inexpensive trick. You just put the grounds in a brown paper bag or staple them up in coffee filters or for a little more money/convenience you can purchase the pre-packed coffee filters. Then you just set them around where the odors are. It can take a day or so to remove the odor completely, but in most cases you can at least handle the area within a short period of time. I hope this trick help many of you out. By Bergster417 [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I ran into his wheelchair with the car." ___________________________________________________
trucks meet on hairpin curve
____________________________________________________ A Guy and his wife are riding two up on a bike along a twisty road with a 55MPH limit. A cop pulls them over. "Had you going about 70 in 55 back there," says the cop. "Not me," says the guy, "Could be your radar picked up someone else or something, but my speedometer was set right on 55." The wife pipes up, "You were to going 70. I've told you 20 miles back you were going to get stopped if you didn't slow down." "Quiet please!" mumbles the guy. "Can I see your proof of insurance?" asks the cop. "Sure, my card is right here in my wallet." The wife says, "That card's no good and you know it. You haven't paid the last premium and the company sent you a cancellation notice." "Damn," yells the guy. "Would you shut up for a minute?" "Ma'am," says the cop. "Does this guy always talk to you like this?" "Only when he's been drinking." ____________________________________________________ A father gave his teenage daughter an untrained pup for her birthday. An hour later, while wandering through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen floor. her comment was: "My pup runneth over." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders >From Ed So my wife and I stayed at the Crescent Hotel high on the hill in Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We chose that venue because it's supposed to be haunted. Most evenings, the guests are either exploring the hotel for the dearly departed or are taking the weekend ghost tour again hoping to encounter a ghost. Truth be told, we booked lodging there for the same reason. With all this talk about ghosts in mind, we retired for the evening. Now I'm an older guy and relieving myself several times during the night had become much more commonplace than it was in my younger years. I was hoping that one good scare might have me evacuating my bladder enough to get me a modicum of uninterrupted sleep. I knew better but hope springs eternal. As expected, during the midnight hours I paid John a visit and turned to go back to bed. It was then that I actually saw a ghost! I screamed and stood there in fear not moving a muscle. A few minutes passed when I noticed that the ghost didn't move unless I did. It was at that point that I realized I was staring at myself in the door mirror. Noella ____________________________________________________
I had no idea most of these strange animals existed!

Today, November 9, in
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see 
 the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip 
 by a U.S. president. 
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent 
 on neon advertising signs. 
1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. 
 He then fled to the Netherlands. 
1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops 
 that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the 
 evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall 
full of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other 
 labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 
1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500 
 Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and 
 rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became 
 known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 
1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world 
 record speed of 4,093 mph. 
1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated 
 its "caucasians only" rule. 
1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust 
 explosion. 
1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 
1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states 
 and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures 
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 
1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft 
 blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 
1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions condemning 
 the apartheid government in South Africa. 
1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon 
 Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants, 
 mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 
1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid 
 Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also 
 involved in the operation. 
1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
 to India. It was the highest loan to date. 
1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came 
 out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing 
 commentator for NBC. 
1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick Hart, 
 was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in 
 Washington, DC. 
1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its citizens 
 to travel freely to West Germany. 
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-aggression 
 treaty with Germany. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed for 
 assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked British 
 businesses to invest. 
1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust 
 settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered 
 to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging 
 of Nasdaq stocks. 
2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania Avenue 
in front of the White House to pedestrians.
2015  smiled.


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Thesaurus 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 8



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Arkansas mother, who was arrested after she put bourbon in her baby's bottle Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 8, in 1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin. --- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) She had an unequalled gift... of squeezing big mistakes into small opportunities. --- Henry James (1843 - 1916) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened. ______________________________________________________ Patient: "Nurse, during my operation I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word that upset me very much." Nurse: "What word was that?" Patient: "Oops!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lori Sheppard, 28,Mt. Holly, Arkansas
Arrested after she put bourbon in her baby's bottle NOVEMBER 6--When her teething infant son would not stop crying, an Arkansas woman called her mother and was told to rub some alcohol on the child’s painful gums. Instead, cops charge, Lori Sheppard, 28, put bourbon in her 10-month-old son’s bottle, leading to the infant’s hospitalization and her arrest for child endangerment and aggravated assault. Sheppard’s son Ronald was rushed last week to a hospital emergency room after he was found “limp and unresponsive.” Sheppard initially told cops that the child “was fine before she placed him in his playpen” inside the family’s trailer home in Mt. Holly, a community about 125 miles south of Little Rock. Sheppard claimed that when she briefly left the trailer, her five-year-old stepbrother went inside. When she returned to the home, Sheppard said she found Ronald “unconscious and unresponsive.” During police questioning, Sheppard initially denied giving the baby alcohol (the child’s father told police that there was “a 5th of bourbon in the freezer at the trailer”). But, cops say, she eventually confessed to putting booze in Ronald’s bottle. Sheppard told investigators that when Tylenol and Motrin did not relieve the infant’s discomfort, she sought advice from her mother, who suggested rubbing alcohol on Ronald’s gums. The child, who was airlifted to Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock, had a blood alcohol content of .19, according to a Union County Sheriff’s Office report. After several days of treatment, the boy was discharged into the custody of child welfare workers. Pictured above in an unfortunate message t-shirt, Sheppard was booked into jail on the felony charges. A judge set her bond at $10,000
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Open Office Thesaurus Hi Dear Webby, Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar: I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office. I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable. Do you have a solution? As always my sincere thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7 and the Thesaurus comes up showing a bunch of alternate words. There are two possibilities. 1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language or 2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics, without the Thesaurus. If it is #2, just reinstall it, and this time let it go whole hog. It takes more space, but that is the price you pay for having the big dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, thank you again for having the right answer. I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the Thesaurus works perfectly. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Teacher: If your father earned $100.00 and gave half to your mother, what would she have? Little Johnny: A heart attack! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Coffee Without a Coffeemaker A week ago, I broke our carafe to our coffee maker. My husband and I had already gone shopping so we had a full can of coffee. We were out of instant coffee, which made this an emergency, at least for me! My husband to the rescue. He made his own instant pouch using a coffee filter, twist tie and boiling water. Here are the instructions. Take 2 teaspoon per (8 oz.)cup of coffee. Add this to a coffee filter. Tie filter with twist tie or string. Drop filter into a pot of boiling water (16 oz. of water) Let coffee and filter simmer in hot water to desired color. The darker the stronger your coffee will taste. It's like boiling a tea bag in a pot of water. Sorry about my pic of my coffee, I also spilled non-dairy coffee creamer. No matter, I just did not feel like getting up to take a better pic, but I did enjoy my cup of coffee. By Georgetta Ruth [73] When I was living in the bush in the Yukon I rigged a coil of 3/8" copper tubing into the s tove pipe of the "kitchen stove" just outside the tent. The inside airtight was not used in summer. The copper pipe came out of the stove pipe high enough to neatly drip into a Melitta (Cone filter) sitting on top of a one gallon blue enamel coffee pot. The water for the water heater came from the high tank hanging up high inside the 12' x 16' tent. That made beautiful coffee for years until I finished building the new house. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ News Item: An Oregon State University animal rights activist denounces vegetarianism because mice, moles and rabbits are often killed in the preparation of farmland to grow vegetables. You might want to stop eating until the dogooders sort this out. ___________________________________________________
____________________________________________________ Two cowboys were scouting near their fort and worrying that the Indians might be overrunning them. As they listened to the distant pounding war drums, one cowboy muttered to the other: "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, an apologetic voice came from behind a bush, "Our regular drummer slept in." >From Barb ____________________________________________________ *Last night I was driving home and listening to a sports call-in program, carried by WGN in Chicago on SIRIUS. People were calling in, very upset, about the goat's head that was sent to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts at Wrigley Field.* *Then some guy called in from Indiana and said, "Why are you people so upset 'cause someone sent a goat's head to Wrigley Field? Aren't you Chicagoans the same guys that sent a horse's ass to the White House?" * *I had to pull over!* ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Not my blunder but by someone I knew well. As a truck driver, I have to be careful to pace myself for bathroom stops. It happened one day that my body wasn't cooperating with my paced schedule. At the next drop-off, before going into the office and having the papers signed, I ran into their restroom. You can imagine my relief as I downloaded (it wasn't #1). Now you can imagine my horror when I look down at the floor and see the hole where the stool was SUPPOSED to sit. I felt so sorry for those plumbers. Noella ____________________________________________________
So very limber and graceful.

Today, November 8, in
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public. 
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The 
 expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. 
 The journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of 
 exploring the Louisiana Purchase territory. 
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity 
 discovered the scientific principle involved and took 
 the first X-ray pictures. 
1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 
1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power 
 in Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be 
 known as the "Beer-Hall Putsch." 
1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive 
 order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The 
 organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4 
 million unemployed people in the U.S. 
1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 
1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and 
 British forces landed in French North Africa. 
1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle 
 took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down 
 a North Korean MiG-15. 
1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company 
 decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's 
 only son. 
1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 
1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California 
 announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the 
 planet Saturn. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop deployments 
 in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to the multi-
 national force fighting against Iraq. 
1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions 
 on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war. 
1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist 
 violence. 
1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from 
 the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were 
 valued at $52 million. 
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for 
 the Three Gorges Dam. 
2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner 
 of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 
2009 The game Angry Birds Star Wars was released. 
2015  smiled.


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Thesaurus for Open Office 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 7

Thank you, William!


Happy 29th birthday, Noella!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 7, in 1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?" ______________________________________________________ It's time to do my bi-annual rant about auto-responders. Every now and then some smooth-talking moron manages to persuade otherwise quite reasonable people to use auto-responders to embarrass themselves. If YOU are one of those, stop and think for a bit, before you have lost all your friends. What does an auto-responder accomplish ? 1) Everybody puts your address into their spam filters, because they are not interested in the silly drivel of your auto-responder. 2) People forget that now all mail from you automatically goes into the garbage, and they don't believe you when you tell them that you answered their mail. NOTHING else EVER gets accomplished by a personal auto-responder. Commercial auto-responders that reply with up-to-the-minute fresh road reports, or the weather, or inventory of daily specials if you write to a certain address, those are useful, because they supply information that you requested. However, does anybody really need to know that Dingbat's computer admits that it has received the mail that you sent her (since you sent the mail to HER and not the Easter Bunny, you more or less expected that anyway), and that Dingbat is too lazy or too drunk to answer you right now, or that she never answers after 5PM? Well, you expected that too, so why repeat the never changing obvious facts ? If you have an auto-responder, do yourself and your friends a favor and get rid of it. Then get yourself a new address and get re-aquainted with your former friends who thought you had died when all your mail got filtered into the garbage without anybody ever seeing it. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bob for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justin Grimes, 30, Daytona Beach, Floriduh
Florida burglar arrested after dropping out of the ceiling. A would-be thief allegedly decided to drop in for dinner —literally—at a Florida eatery Tuesday evening, WESH reports. Police say diners at Hibachi Grill and Supreme Buffet in Daytona Beach heard noises coming from the ceiling shortly before 30-year-old Justin Grimes fell through it. Patrons sprung into action, holding Grimes down until officers arrived. According to WFTV, police believe Grimes got into the ceiling through the bathroom and was attempting to make his way to the restaurant's office to steal money when he fell through the ceiling. WESH reports the restaurant's manager found broken ceiling tiles and a pair of shoes in the office, but it's unclear how they got there. Grimes has been charged with burglary.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Open Office Thesaurus Hi Dear Webby, Again a question for the cyber world's main avatar: I can't get the Thesaurus to open in my Open Office. I have their latest version 4.1.1 but even following their help instructions about activating the Thesaurus doesn't work and still leaves it greyed out and unusable. Do you have a solution? As always my sincere thanks. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter On my OO, I highlight a word, and hit CTRL F7 and the Thesaurus comes up showing a bunch of alternate words. There are two possibilities. 1) You haven't selected a language in Tools, Language or 2) When you installed it, you installed just the basics, without the Thesaurus. If it is #2, just reinstall it, and this time let it go whole hog. It takes more space, but that is the price you pay for having the big dictionary and the Thesaurus on the shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, thank you again for having the right answer. I downloaded Open Office 4.1.2. and now the Thesaurus works perfectly. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your train!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Spanish Rice My grandmother, who was Mexican taught me how to cook this Spanish rice. Now my son who is 24 and living on his own, makes his own. Approximate Time: 20-30 minutes Yield: 6 or more servings Ingredients: 1 cup long grain white rice 3-4 green onion stalks, cut small (more or less, depending on your taste) 1 small ripe tomato, diced 1 1/2 cup chicken stock, warmed 1 can (small) tomato sauce (I use the spicy tomato sauce, but it's a matter of taste) Adobo seasoning to taste pepper to taste 2 Tbsp oil, any kind of your choice 2 Tbsp butter (not margarine, or I can't Believe it's not Butter) Steps: Saute the green onion and rice until the rice is slightly browned and has a nutty smell to it. Add the tomatoes and stir in. Then add the warmed chicken stock and tomato sauce. Season with the Adobo, or salt and pepper to taste, then add the butter. Simmer 18-20 minutes, or until rice is done and all liquid is absorbed and rice is tender. Source: My grandmother By Cathi Cates [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Anthony and Kathy married. Anthony thought this would be a modern marriage which meant equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, Anthony brought Kathy breakfast in bed. Kathy wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "A poached egg? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, Anthony brought her a scrambled egg. Kathy wasn't having any of it. "Why can't I have some variety? I wanted poached this morning!" Determined to please Kathy, the next morning he brought her two eggs - one scrambled and one poached. "Here, my love... enjoy!" Kathy was furious, "You Bozo, you scrambled the wrong egg!" ___________________________________________________

the slap
____________________________________________________ A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. As she turns there standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day M'am, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, what is going to happen to your pants when you hear the price?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I love to take pictures and was excited when I found out that I was going to get to go to the ocean in Florida. I'd never seen the ocean. I got up early, went out to the beach and waited for the sun to come up so I could get a sunrise picture. The sky was full of clouds and though it was getting lighter, I never did get to see the sun rise so I gave up. I decided to go back to the hotel and as I got into the car, I turned around and there was the sun, bright and shining. It had come up behind one of the casinos. Totally missed it! Noella ____________________________________________________
I prefer the house in the mountains where there is peace and quiet.

Today, November 6, in
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in the 
 American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony for heresy. 
1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by 
 William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or (Tippecanoe). 
1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was 
 shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying 
 to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 
1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as 
 an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 
1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by 
 Albert H. Hook. 
1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to vote. 
1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first 
 transcontinental railway in the mountains of British Columbia. 
1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The provisional 
 government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown by forces led 
 by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 
1918 During World War I, a false report through the United 
 Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 
1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington 
 state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension bridge had 
 opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 
1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first person 
 to win a fourth term as president. 
1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television commercials. 
1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland, OH, 
 becoming the first black mayor of a major city. 
1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that college 
 students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would lose their 
 draft deferments. 
1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of the 
 War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to wage 
 war without congressional approval. 
1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of Justice. 
 The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including 11 Supreme 
 Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by leftist guerrillas 
 belonging to the April 19 Movement. 
1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He had 
 been president since the country's independence in 1956. 
1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia, 
 becoming the first elected African-American state governor 
 in U.S. history. 
1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's first 
 African-American mayor. 
1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested positive 
 for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was retiring 
 from basketball. 
1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on 
 the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 
1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no contest 
 to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been arrested in 
 Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater. 
1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men admitted 
 to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 
2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first president's 
 wife to win public office. The state of New York elected her to 
 the U.S. Senate. (New York) 
2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched. 
2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying.
2015  smiled.


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IN and OUT mailbox appearing empty 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Moe 
Thank you, Mary 
Thank you, Richard

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving off with voting equipment Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 6, in 1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth president of the United States. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart. --- Alice Walker (1944 - ) The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. --- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC) Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo. The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night!" ______________________________________________________ Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the garden market," said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man asked. "Well when I got to the market, I asked the produce clerk, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' "The produce clerk said 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.' " ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Adele for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darrin Farmer, 55, North Versailles, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania elections judge arrested for driving off with voting equipment Authorities in western Pennsylvania say a local judge of elections was arrested after allegedly failing to show up to the polls Tuesday and instead deciding to work as a jitney driver for the day. The Allegheny County sheriff's office says 55-year-old Darrin Farmer of North Versailles (Vehr-SAYLESS) never came to the North Versailles precinct with voting equipment, delaying poll opening by three hours. Authorities say his wife said he dropped her off at a store to buy refreshments for volunteers but then left. They allege he decided to spend the day giving rides for money. Farmer faces charges including tampering with public records and obstructing a government function; a listed number for him couldn't be found and it's unclear whether he has an attorney who could respond to the charges.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Reliable email program Dear Webby, Once again I'm coming to the 'mountain' for HELP. Last evening I updated Mailwasher to the latest config. 7.7 and then this morning when I logged on and my mail was transferred to Eudora 7.1.0.9 all of the mail that was both in my in and out boxes (Eudora) has disappeared. I would like to have it (mail) back since I've not replied to some of them. I did nothing else with my desktop other than update Mailwasher. Can and would you shed some light to make my day brighter. Peace Frank Dear Frank Mailwasher doesn't do anything to Eudora beyond transferring the focus to it, like clicking on it to making it active. That sounds like a routine Windoze malfunction. Did you try closing Eudora and re-opening it? Or closing it, and then rebooting? Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, Like normal, I did as you instructed below. The emails came back BUT now in Eudora the inbox first left column with the 'dot' header is now showing a ? for ALL messages prior to this morning. This mornings recent mail shows the blue dot. The outbox is showing a red dot with an x inside the dot, in that same column for all sent messages including my initial request to you this morning prior to closing and reboot. Can you explain and can it be corrected? I'm having 'FUN!' now. Frank Dear Frank Normally Eudora keeps the IN and OUT box in RAM during operation, and writes to disk later. If Windoze decides it needs more RAM, it steals it from any non-Windows program. Theoretically, whatever it steals, is supposed to be written to the virtual memory (your hard drive). Sometimes that works OK, sometimes it doesn't. Eudora has a way to guard against that, and tells you to re-index the database. Compacting the database usually fixes the question marks and dots. To avoid that problem, keep the IN and OUT mailboxes small. Send mails to suitable mailboxes like Prayers, Recipes, Boobs, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes. Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Floor Cleaner with No Residue Have you ever mopped with a cleaner just to discover you have a sticky floor from the residue? We bought some rubber planking floor that looks like wood and I wanted a good cleaner so I did some research. My research took me finally to Amazon where there is a product called Congoleum Bright 'N Easy No Rinse Cleaner. A 32 oz. bottle is $13.99 plus shipping, but I tell you, that bottle will last. You use 1/4 of a cup to a gallon of water. The floors looked beautiful with no residue. After reading reviews, I saw people were using it in the kitchen on the tile floors so I tried that and the floors looked better than anything I used in the past. So I can do the tiles and plank floors with this and never have a buildup. By linda [61] Since my dishes dry nice and clean without residue, I have used a squirt of dish soap per gallon of hot water on my high gloss soft vinyl and gloss hardwood wood floor for the last 15 years. No dull film or buildup at all. My floors are as clean and shiny as my dishes and glasses. Other dish soaps will probably work just as well. If your dish soap doesn't leave a film on your glasses, then it won't leave a film on the floor either. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Barny, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits." ___________________________________________________

the slap
____________________________________________________ While John and Jill were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short form-fitting dress strolled by... Johns eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item Jill was examining, Jill asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in now?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders One time I was at the Farmer's market and was already lugging a big, (in the late 60's) fashionable wicker basket full of all kinds of fruit and veggies, when I spotted large pumpkins with a sign "1 penny". That sounded too good to be true. Well, on closer inspection I saw the tiny writing "per pound". Too late. By that time I was hooked. Since I was already overloaded I asked the farmer if he delivered, and gave him my address. "yes, sure," he said, if you buy a gross." I had no clue how many were in a gross, but I was hooked. I wanted some of those big, shiny pumpkins. He told me that he would weigh them and put the bill into my mailbox. I had to go to church choir after the farmers market and we went for some wine and cheese at the preacher's house afterward. So I didn't get home until quite late. The front door was barricaded with a pyramid of pumpkins, and half the porch was pumpkins 3 layers deep. I had no key for the back door with me. So, after crying for a bit, I circled the house looking for a window that I could burgle in through. Then a cop car stopped and a suspicious cop stomped over to me and yelled at me, wanting to know if I was trying to break in to that house. That made me mad and I screamed back at him just as loud: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am!" He jumped back two feet, and looked things over. Then he started laughing. Really laughing and doubling over, slapping his thighs and laughing. After that he helped me move the pyramid from the front door to the east side of the porch and make a pyramid there. After that I could finally get inside, put away the veggies and fruit, and murder a pumpkin. I didn't go for the bill in the mailbox for a couple of days. Noella ____________________________________________________
Yikes! Too scary for me!

Today, November 6, in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman 
 Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 
1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth 
 president of the United States. 
1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the 
 Confederacy in the U.S. 
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the 
 United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The 
 document granted rights to the United States to build and 
 indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses. 
1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of 
 Indian miners in South Africa. 
1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of 
 Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 
1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver. 
1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of 
 FM broadcasting. 
1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll 
 in the Pacific Ocean. 
1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited 
 when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800 
 feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led 
 by Red Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.
1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that 
 condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The 
 resolution also called for all member states to terminate 
 military and economic relations with South Africa. 
1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow 
 250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 
1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter. 
1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a 
 mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march 
 into the nation of Western Sahara. 
1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending 
 a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible 
 College in Georgia. 
1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over 
 northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents 
 to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban 
 resisters to the U.S-led invasion. 
1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19 
 Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 
1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in 
 Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being 
 the head of a family spy ring. 
1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the 
 Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been 
 secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release 
 of seven American hostages. 
1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S. 
 announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets 
 that had been held since 1979. 
1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern 
 California was destroyed in an arson fire. 
1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires 
 ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 
1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 
1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb 
 killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 
1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's 
 queen as their head of state. 
2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people. 
 The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 
2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state 
 newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were 
 robbers and killers aged 20-23. 
2015  smiled.


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Reliable email program 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 5

Thank You Cynjer!
Thank you Doug!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 5, in 2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Muslim Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people and wounded 30 others. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. --- Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC) To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Administratium". Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons,giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert.However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places.In fact, Administratium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This moron-promoting characteristic has lead some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed wherever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." You'll know it when you see it. ______________________________________________________ Q: How can I avoid always being handed other peoples' drooling brats? A: Drop one or two. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Rater, 62, Buckeye, Arizona
AZ grandpa arrested after leaving girl in desert with gun to get beer and cheeseburger A man in Buckeye, Arizona, is facing child endangerment charges after authorities said he left his 5-year-old granddaughter in the desert by herself with a loaded gun. Paul Rater, 62, took the girl for a ride in his pickup truck Sunday afternoon in the desert. Family members reported the two missing four hours later. The girl was eventually found by a firefighter who was riding around the desert on an ATV. She was crying for help, Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told ABC15.com. Arpaio told the station the girl was found with a loaded and cocked .45 caliber handgun. "He told her it was to shoot the bad guys. How does a 5-year-old know the difference between good guys and bad guys?" Arpaio told the station. Rater was found a short time later at a local store. Investigators said he admitted leaving the girl in the desert and went for a few drinks and a cheeseburger, instead, according to CBS News. Rater also told authorities the truck got stuck and he and his granddaughter had to walk for help because he forgot to bring his cellphone, according to KPHO TV. When the girl couldn't walk anymore, Rater said he left her under a tree with the loaded gun. Deputies said Rater came across several people while he was looking for help, but never thought to call 911. The suspect said he asked people to look for his granddaughter because he left her in the desert, according to AZCentral.com. Witnesses at the South Buckeye Equestrian Center said Rater showed up there around 5:30 p.m. complaining about having to walk 10 miles. He never mentioned his granddaughter. Rater's wife told deputies he called her for a pickup an hour or so later, after consuming a cheeseburger and four alcoholic beverages. Rater was booked into a Maricopa County jail on suspicion of endangerment and two counts of reckless child abuse. He remains in custody on $25,000 bond, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Terry Re: Reliable email program Dear Webby, I have tried Outlook and Windows Live, and am not happy with either one. Which email program do you recommend and use? Terry Dear Terry I still use Eudora, and have used it since 1993. Never a problem. Thunderbird is based on Eudora and pretty well the same, just prettier and has a lot more emoticons. Either one is fast asnd reliable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. That will be $100. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith: "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Onions Fresh for Months If you keep your onions completely dry, separated, and hanging, they will last you for months. Take a washed or new pair of pantyhose and stack your onions vertically, then store in a cool dark place. Additionally, if you tie a knot in the hose between each whole onion, they will touch each other even less, lasting a bit longer. By attosa [133] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________

male pole "dancer" - unreal
____________________________________________________ Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Does anybody read my blunder bit? Noella ____________________________________________________
Beautiful landscape photography.

Today, November 5, in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when 
 he was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. 
 Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to 
 celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament 
 and King James I. 
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful 
 cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 
1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting 
 to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an 
 automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers Company. 
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third 
 term in office. 
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of 
 Representatives at the age of 29. 
1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally re-opened.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the 
 Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at 
 L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 
1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's 
 tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of 
 weapons to Iran. 
1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 
 24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced 
 to life for treason against the white minority government. 
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong 
 evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child 
 (Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings.
1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was 
 shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, 
 Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was 
 sentenced to life in prison for his part in the World Trade 
 Center bombing. 
1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in Detroit 
 during a struggle with police. Two officers were later convicted 
 in his death and sentenced to prison. 
1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had Alzheimer's 
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight champion 
 when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of their WBA 
 fight in Las Vegas, NV. 
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to 
 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates 
 from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 
1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested and 
 charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 
1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that Microsoft Corp. 
 enjoyed "monopoly power". 
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus and 
 Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture specializing in 
 airline services. 
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 people 
 and wounded 30 others. 
2015  smiled.


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Mail pretending to be from me 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 4

Thank you, Cindy !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Indiana man, who was arrested after he assaulted girlfriend because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 3, in 1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the anethestic qualities of chloroform. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. --- Ken Keyes Jr. "An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." --- Evan Esar "Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor." --- Edgar R. Fiedler ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun." "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." "Okay," the man said with a smile, "then bill my brother-in-law." ______________________________________________________ The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!" "Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender. The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Clyde for this picture: Strangest picture of Ireland: An Irishman without beer or whiskey in his hand! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bryan Alwine, 27, Muncie, Indiana
Indiana man arrested after he assaulted girlfriend because she bought the wrong kind of toilet paper An Indiana man is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly throwing his girlfriend to the ground during an argument over toilet paper, cops say. According to a Muncie Police Department report, the victim told cops that Bryan Alwine, 27, pushed her so hard that she “flew” and landed in the street outside the home they share with their daughter. The duo had been arguing, the victim said, “over toilet paper.” Alwine was allegedly upset because the victim had not purchased his preferred brand of toilet paper. As first reported by The Star Press, the woman “further stated that Bryan is very specific on what he likes to use and that he began yelling at her while they were still inside the home.” Officers responding to a 911 call Sunday night noted that the woman, who appeared “very frightened and nervous,” had a bloody elbow and a scratched knee. A witness who called police said that she saw Alwine “put his hands on” the victim and throw her to the ground. Alwine, pictured above, was arrested for felony domestic battery. He was freed from jail Tuesday after posting $5000 bond. Alwine has previously been arrested for threatening to kill the victim, who told police that a “history of violence” between the couple has “gone on for several years.” Muncie police reported that the victim is not being cooperative with investigators.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Mail from me Dear Webby, I get all kinds of mail that looks as if I had sent it, but is definitely not from me. I do send mail to myself frequently to file and keep, but these mails are just spam or scams. What can I do to stop that nuisance aside from changing my Yahoo address? Ann Dear Ann Changing your Yahoo address would help for a while, but sooner or later that nuisance will start again. We all get those spam and scam mails. I use MailWasher With that I make filters to for example mail FROM humor@webby.com that DOES NOT CONTAIN "Humor: " in the subject line then delete it on the server, automatically, without even showing it in the list. That way, when somebody sends a mail pretending to be from humor@webby.com, but doesn't have "Humor: " in the subject line, it gets murdered in the dark and sent straight to hell. You can send mail to humor@webby.com, just don't pretend to BE humor@webby.com. You can have all kinds of code words that will legitimize an email, for example DOES NOT CONTAIN RegEx "Recip|Prayr|Shoplis|Gardn" then nuke it on the server. You can use all the "Regular Expressions" if you want, but usually you just use the pipe | to add a bunch of alternates instead of making separate filters for them. Then after that you put the appropriate keyword in the subject line, and that email will be safe. That trick also helps you to organize your emails and automatically send mails with "Recip" in the subject line into your Recipe mailbox. Most email programs let you do that. So you win twice! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A Navy Chief ('which Navy' will go unspecified) was being court-martialed for an incident where he was found to be chased by a young lady through the hallways of the hotel in which they were both staying. Neither of them were wearing anything. The charge was that of "being out of uniform." The Chief's lawyer argued that the officer was not out of uniform, as the regulations read: "A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired for the activity in which he is engaged." The charges were dismissed. --------- Was that you, Jim? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Stainless Steel Cleaner Mix 1/4 cup vinegar, 2 tbsp baking soda, and 1/8 cup hydrogen peroxide. Add 4-6 cups hot water. Use a clean cloth. Dip cloth in solution and wring out, leaving cloth a little sloppy. Wipe down stainless steel with cloth. Allow to sit a minute. Wipe down with a dry cloth. Then wipe with a microfiber cloth. Very shiny! This solution also works to mop linoleum and tile floors and to clean the bathroom! By kattt [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ It's a good thing we UNsubscribed Ms Burkenheimer. She would probably consider this joke dirty. Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide announcements, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a timid female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys and need assistance." ___________________________________________________

true facts about the octopus (Not to be put in, but I love this guy :-)
____________________________________________________ The first time I heard the following story, it was told to me about 20 years ago by Danny, a former carpet layer. Knowing what he smoked, I actually believed him. According to his story, Danny had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt. While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the room. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my gerbil." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders It’s a personal rule of mine to never litter. My husband chewed tobacco. While out driving a few years ago we had a cup with his nasty stuff in it and it turned over in the car. We cleaned it up as best we could - no napkins - and our first thought was get rid of this cup so it doesn’t happen again. We're in the convertible anyway - he can spit out the window. I’m thinking - we’re so deep in the countryside now, no one will know if I throw it. The trees were very close, and I decided to wait for an opening so the cup wouldn’t bounce back into our car. As soon as we came to one, I threw, right into the face of a farmer plowing his field! Noella ____________________________________________________
16 Amazing Stair Hack Ideas. I love the "reading room."

Today, November 4, in
1846 - A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin Palmer. 
1847 - Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
 the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
1880 - James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 
1922 - In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the 
 lost tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 
1939 - During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality 
 stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy 
 allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 
1939 - At the 40th National Automobile Show the first 
 air-conditioned car was put on display. 
1942 - During World War II, Axis forces retreated from 
 El Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for 
 the British. 
1952 - In the United States, the National Security A
 gency (NSA) was established. 
1956 - Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress 
 the uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 
1979 - Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran 
 and took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The 
 militants, mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send 
 the former shah back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages 
 were later released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months. 
1984 - Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 
1985 - Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was 
 returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had 
 been kidnapped by the CIA. 
1989 - About a million East Germans filled the streets of 
 East Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 
1990 - Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to 
 fight a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 
1991 - Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in 
 Simi Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by 
 President Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, 
 Gerald R. Ford and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st 
 gathering of 5 U.S. chief executives. 
1995 - Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, 
 was assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after 
 attending a peace rally. 
1999 - The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against 
 the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The 
 sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to 
 turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with 
 masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in 
 Kenya and Tanzania. 
2001 - Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and 
 thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture 
 of sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba 
 received the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. 
 in nearly 40 years. 
2015  smiled.


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Black Screen 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 3

Thank you Hermon !
Thank you Patricia !
Thank you Sig !
Thank you Heather !
Thank you Norma !



If you have trouble getting to sites, that you regularly
go to, like Arcamax or Gocomics, the problem is not at those
sites or at the servers they are on. The problem is that
a bunch of major fiber cable bundles have been cut.
One cut is nenar Kansas City, one is at or near Washington, DC,
and another one I know of is cutting off Newark and all
the data centers connected to the internet backbone there.
There is also a cut in the backbone about 108 km from 
Montreal.

How do I know? Did ISIS tell me? No.
I use Traceroute from one of the Webby servers. 
You can use the Windows tracert.

Click on START, type cmd and hit ENTER.
In the scary, black DOS style screen, type
tracert webby.com
or any domain you want to check,
for example
traceroute arcamax.com
If you see stars, those are breaks.
If you see 3 stars, that is a cut.

Asia looks even worse!
The Shanghai hub is not accessible.
Tokyo is cut.
Iran and Iraq are out.
India is down to 75%.

Africa is down to 0%,
so is Bulgaria, italy, Poland,Spain,
part of Sweden, and the Milton Keynes part of UK.

Australia is mostly at around 80%, as usual,
but new Zealand is 0%.

South America seems to have recovered except for Colombia.

I have no idea who made all those cuts or who coordinated
the cutting to all happen on the same day. 
There is nothing you or I can do about it.

Luckily our servers are not affected.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat and fake penis, who was arrested for drunk driving. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 3, in 1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Men who never get carried away should be. --- Malcolm Forbes (1919 - 1990) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died." "Thank God," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to." ______________________________________________________ A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss." He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bonnie for this picture: Atlantic Ocean in Hampton Beach State Park, NH about 30 miles from my house. Nice day & we enjoyed the walk on the beach couple weeks ago. Like to share with y'all. Bonnie in Candia, NH ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ross McDonald, 39, Iowa City, Iowa
Iowa flasher wearing only trench coat and fake penis arrested for drunk driving. After being arrested for drunk driving, a Halloween reveler wearing only a trench coat and “a piece of cloth that looked like a penis” attempted to eat toilet paper in a bid to foil a Breathalyzer test, Iowa police report. Cops yesterday pulled over Ross McDonald, 39, after they spotted him driving the wrong way on an Iowa City street around 3 AM. According to a criminal complaint, McDonald was “extremely confused” and could not tell officers “what bar he was coming from.” McDonald, who claimed to have consumed two drinks, had bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, and unsteady balance, cops noted. He also appeared to be dressed in a “flasher” costume: “Def was only wearing a trench coat and a piece of cloth that looked like a penis.” Upon arrival at the police precinct, McDonald “attempted to eat toilet paper, thinking it would mess with” the Breathalyzer. McDonald had initially refused the breath test, but “changed his mind after attempting to eat the toilet paper.” Despite McDonald’s cunning plan, his blood alcohol content was measured at .165, twice the legal limit. Since McDonald has prior drunk driving convictions, he was hit with a felony charge carrying a maximum five-year prison sentence. Seen in the above mug shot, McDonald was released from jail yesterday afternoon after posting $5000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: Black Screen Dear Webby, Still getting black screen when I surf and also stuck cursor. I tried system restore and it wouldn't work. Should I install the disc to renew installation? hank If you have a restore disk, then that would definitely be an option. Some machines have a restore disk in a hidden partition. Call Support of the manufacturer and ask them to walk you through a restore. You have to do that, of course, back up all your data, spreadsheet files, documents you have written, addresses, tips and tricks and cheat-sheet files, and your awesome collection of pussycat pictures. Also the setup files of all programs and the license numbers of all the bought ones. A restore totally wipes out everything you got, and restores the machine to the same state, that it was when you bought it. A total back-up like that is of course highly recommended anyway, even if you are not going to restore just yet. Before getting quite that drastic, you could try installing Chrome and then Uninstalling IE and FF. I would also recommend that you use the DeCrapifier at https://www.pcdecrapifier.com/ and weed out any program, that you are not actually using. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A couple was going out for the evening. They were both ready to go, nice clothes, hair done, perfume, cologne, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat shot back into the house. Not wanting their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out. Well, the wife did not want anyone to know the house would be empty for the evening, so she explained to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and said, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid old ninny was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a wet mop to get her to come out." The cab driver almost hit a parked car. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Picasso Light Switch Plate Cover Turn a plain white light switch cover into a little Picasso like painting. Approximate Time: 25 min Supplies: 1 light switch cover with screws 1 flat screwdriver sponge to clean surface on switchplate cover newspaper permanent markers or acrylic paint paint brushes Steps: Turn light off. Remove light switch cover if you don't already have one. Place down newspaper. Wipe well with sponge and dry. Mark basic ouline with black permanent marker, including eye, nose, and mouth. Paint and color, use your own ideas and colors. Have fun creating abstract art known as cubism! Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer. When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the screws to match eye and lips and paint them. Let it dry or speed up drying with a hair dryer. When completely dry, screw in switchplate. Position the screws to match eye and lips and paint them. All done! Enjoy your little Picasso like mini painting. :) Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn_-ckw4um8 By KIM HOGGAN [8] You can, of course, also just glue wallpaper or any picture onto switch and outlet covers. Spray-on contact cement works best. Spray the switch cover and the back of the picture, let it dry a bit, and position it on it. Trim the edges or fold them under it. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A kindergarten teacher is walking around her classroom observing her students while they draw. One little girl is working especially diligently, so the teacher asks what she is working on. "I'm drawing God," the child says. The teacher pauses, then says, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replies, "They will in a minute." ___________________________________________________

2015 World Synchro Champs SP Team Canada
____________________________________________________ There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage and after marriage. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders In the 1960s I was still very young and working at my very first job. To supplement my income I cleaned house on Saturdays for a friend. My friend was quite messy plus he had a large dog that shed pounds of hair, so it usually took several hours to clean his apartment. One day I was about ready to go home when he called to ask if I would place some chicken in the oven to broil as he'd be home soon. Where I grew up we fried chicken, so I knew nothing about broiling. I asked for instructions and he told me to pull out the rack, place the chicken on it and turn on the broiler. It sounded easy enough so I took him at his word and placed the chicken on the rack and turned on the oven to “broil.” About 15-20 minutes later he came home looking forward to broiled chicken. You're going to have to "picture" this. What he came home to was chicken laying on the oven rack, the skin hanging and dripping between the slats! I had no idea there was a difference in oven racks and broiler racks. I sure did after I cleaned up the mess! Noella ____________________________________________________
Watching these kinetic sculptures is mesmerizing!

Today, November 3, in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa 
 Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 
1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay 
 Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself 
 to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 
1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted.
 England insisted on monopoly rights to sell Opium.
1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte, 
 IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 
1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Columbia. 
1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet 
 and William C. Durant. 
1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese 
 may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 
1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a 
 supermarket in Chester, NY. 
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the second manmade 
 satellite to be put into orbit and was the first to put an animal into 
 space, a dog named Laika. There was not enough cooling and the dog 
 died from heatstroke.
1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29, 1974 it 
 became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 
1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to death 
 in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in Greensboro, NC. 
 Eight others were wounded. 
1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke the 
 story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of seven 
 American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra affair. 
1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to Iran. 
1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-ever 
 face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 
1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two 
 sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had 
 been abducted by a black carjacker. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington 
 National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am 
 Flight 103. 
1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro 
 wrestler, as its governor. 
2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a 
 58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 
2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution 
 was unveiled. 
2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the 
 first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 
2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for 
 business. 
2015  smiled.


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Safe download for Open Office 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 2

Thank you Andy !!!
Thank you Carol !
Thank you Virginia !!.
Thank you James !
Thank you Richard !
Thank you Bonnie !
Thank You Gary !!.
Thank you William .
Thank You Svend !.
Thank You Ronald !

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Florida twin women arrested after holding up convenience store Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 2, in 1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American Birth Control League. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Efficiency is intelligent laziness. --- David Dunham ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado." I wonder if that was inspired by the old 2 foot iron ball windometer by the bridge outside of Lethbridge, Alberta? One time driving by there a few decades ago I noticed the ball was missing and mentioned it to my hitch-hiker. She didn't think it was safe to drive on up to Calgary. I agreed with her and we soon found safe and quite cozy refuge in a really nice motel :-) ______________________________________________________ Church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and Florence agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, Florence replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Gary for this picture: Hello Webby, Huckleberry Lake is a favorite fishing spot of mine. Located in the Absaroka-Beartooth wilderness of Montana. It was the last picture the old 35mm took before it died. Feel free to post it if you want. Gary Lorenzen ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter, The Stonecarver for reporting this one: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kirstie Bergeron, Kayla Bergeron 24, Daytona Beach, Florida
Florida twins arrested after holding up convenience store Twin sisters are locked up on robbery charges after they allegedly held up a Florida convenience store at gunpoint Tuesday evening. According to police, Kirstie Bergeron and her sibling Kayla walked into the Food Mart store in Daytona Beach and proceeded to a refrigerator, where Kayla selected a bottle of ginger ale. The 24-year-old twins then approached the front counter. “I have a gun, open the register!” announced Kayla, as detailed in a Circuit Court charging affidavit. “Are you kidding me?” replied clerk Sabbir Ahmed. Kayla then “removed her hand from her pocket and displayed what appeared to be a small handgun,” reported an investigator. As Kayla pointed the piece at Ahmed, the 37-year-old worker opened the cash register and Kirstie reached over the counter and snatched $230. The Bergerons fled the scene in a black Volkswagen Beetle that was parked next to the store. But as the twins departed, Ahmed copied down the car’s license plate number. The siblings were soon arrested after a traffic stop less than a mile from the Food Mart. Kirstie and Kayla are pictured in the above mug shots. While cops recovered the stolen cash and the ginger ale, no firearm was found. Police suspect the weapon “may have been discarded” following the robbery. Charged with robbery with a firearm or deadly weapon, the Bergerons are each locked up in the Volusia County jail on $25,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandra Re: Free Powerpoint Dear Webby, For some reason I have micros-soft office Word and Excel, but no Power Point program. Is it safe to download one of the free Powerpoint programs without worry about crap getting on my computer? Thanks, I know it sounds like a 'dumb' question, but I want no virus or tracking stuff on my otherwise safe zones; I use both Malwarbeytes and Avast. Again, I'm so glad your computer guru talents are available to people like me! SD Dear Sandra Yes, if you go to the vendors directly, it is perfectly safe. You can get Open Office at http://www.openoffice.org/download/ They celebrated their 100 MILLIONth download by last month. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One evening a few years ago my friend Bill ran out of gas on his way home from work. Being short on cash, as usual, he walked 6 Miles to get home, and left his pick-up truck where it sat, in front of the topless bar next door to the massage parlor. By then his wife had gone to Bingo and he couldn't get neither money for gas, nor a ride back to the truck, so he cooked supper, cleaned up the kitchen and then went to bed. At the next church elder meeting, Miss Myrna, the town gossip ranted on about his immoral conduct and about how she had PROOF, because she saw where he had parked ALL night ! Well, Bill told his co-workers about that, and one of them was a regular at that topless bar. That guy told the story there. From then on, whenever he or his friends planned to later take a cab home rather than drive drunk, they all parked their vehicles in front of Miss Myrna's lonely house, - and walked half a mile to the bar. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing a Stuck Lid from a Pan My boyfriend was making burgers and wanted to melt cheese on top of one with a bun covering it. To melt the cheese faster, he put a glass lid over the burger and the steam sucked it into the pan and then it was stuck. I did a Google search for help without much luck. I left the pan in the fridge for a few days, took it out today and decided to hit the side of the pan against the concrete. The lid came out instantly! Try this instead of other methods and you'll get your pan back in record time! By Stacy G. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you have to do" she told her class, is this: two steps forward, three steps back, then side-step, side-step, turn around" ___________________________________________________

Crazy dog chases it's own leg
____________________________________________________ Why did the Newfie businessman go fishing instead of attending a meeting? "Just for the halibut." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders The day was already going badly. I'm complaining to Bill that the milk had been left out all night, it was the last day to renew car tags, but we needed an inspection and everybody was closed, the shopping cart at Aldis won’t let me have my cart nor my quarter back. Then while unloading groceries I lock my purse and keys in the trunk. As I said, the day was not good. I remembered the back seat pulled down, so here I am with my back killing me, crawling around the back of a small Cavalier fighting groceries. Finally find my purse and keys, crawl out and drive home where I have to unload groceries (about 6 trips) up six steps and into the house. Then there's laundry and emptying the dishwasher and putting groceries away. BUT I have to go back to the store because I forgot we need stuff for the Halloween party for 40+ kids. I am really feeling sorry for myself and I'm complaining - crawling around did not help my back. I'm looking for sympathy, but Bill just questions, Why didn’t you use the trunk release beside the front seat? Noella ____________________________________________________
Best of the month of October, People Are Awesome.

Today, November 2, in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his 
 title to emperor. 
1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont, became 
 the first traitor of the American Revolution when he deserted. 
1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 
1883 Thomas Edison got a patent for an electrical indicator using 
 the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat. 307,031). 
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first American gasoline powered car contest
1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support for 
 a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 
1921 Margaret Sander's National Birth Control League combined with 
 Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the American 
 Birth Control League. 
1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 
1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. 
 It was named DuPrene. 
1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden airplane, 
 for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's first and only 
 flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of the white-gray 
 color of the spruce used to build it, never went into production. 
1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in 
a military coup. 
1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for 
 permanent residence in the U.S. 
1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey 
 prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973 
 murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 
1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the U.S. 
 since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of her 
 boyfriend. 
1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being held in 
 Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 
1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of taxicab 
 service in Princeton, NJ. 
1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good because 
 of fear due to his HIV infection. 
1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob Packwood's 
 diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 
1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up $1.1 billion 
 in trading losses. 
2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The film recorded 
 the best debut ever for an animated film and the 6th best of all time. 
2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the church's 
 first openly gay bishop.
2015  smiled.


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Keystroke Macro recorder 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 31
End of Summer Time in most of North America.
Let your clocks fall back an hour tonight.
You get an extra hour of sleep.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award and a Darwin Award goes to a Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the Protestant Reformation in Germany. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly. --- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592) Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. --- Mark Twain As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!" ______________________________________________________ A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a wide grin, "For our .hic... clo-shing shong, let ush shing Hymn # 365: "We Shall Gather at the River." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Floyd Ray Cook, 62, Brookhaven, Georgia
Tennessee fugitive killed in police shoot-out A fugitive accused of shooting a Tennessee police officer and firing at a Kentucky trooper was killed in a shootout with authorities early Friday, ending a nearly weeklong manhunt. Floyd Ray Cook, 62, was pronounced dead at the scene near Burkesville, Ky., after being confronted by state troopers and a federal marshal who were searching an embankment, a Kentucky State Police rep says. Cook was armed with a handgun and exchanged gunfire with the officers, the rep adds. No officers were injured. Cook was accused of shooting and wounding an Algood, Tenn., police officer during a traffic stop last Saturday afternoon and fled in a black Ford truck. Just over an hour later, a Kentucky State Police trooper tried to stop him just beyond the Tennessee state line, authorities say. Cook tried to speed away but wrecked. He allegedly opened fire on the officer, missed, and ran into the woods. A swath of the border between Kentucky and Tennessee had since been gripped with fear of the man authorities described as "armed, dangerous, and desperate." Convicted of rape in the 1970s, Cook was wanted in Marion County, Ky., for failing to comply with the sex offender registry, a sheriff says. He also had previous convictions for robbery, burglary, assault, and riot, and he was wanted in Hardin County on an indictment charging him with trafficking methamphetamine and tampering with evidence.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: Keystroke recorder Dear Webby, I hope all is well. I wanted to know if you have hear of a program that will allow your computer to record the keystrokes and then "replay them" (to cut down on repetitive tasks)? Thanks, Dave Dear Dave There are lots of those. They are usually called macro recorders. An old one has been in Windows since 3.1, I think. The XP and up version is described with instructions at Macro Recorder Here is a review of the top ten macro recorders: Top 10 Just pick the one that suits you best. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A mother took her three year old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice "Happy Birthday to you!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ice for Getting Gum out of a Dryer When I found the gum, I didn't want to put a chemical in my dryer, nor did I want to scrape it with a knife and an ice cube. Here is how I got gum out of my dryer fast. I had saved a couple of those plastic fishnet bottle or candle covers (open at both ends) in my junk drawer. I took a rubber band and sealed off one end of the plastic cover. I filled it with ice and sealed off the other end with another rubber band. I scrubbed using the ice bag as a sponge and followed with a dry rag. It made quick work of getting the gum out of the dryer. By Mary Keenan W. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ During a rather heated argument a teenager said, "I didn't ask to be born." His father: replied, "Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have been 'NO!!!'." ___________________________________________________

Restroom Mirror prank
____________________________________________________ After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6 year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know." The boy thought about that, then said, "Well, listening ain't easy, either." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Saturday mornings in St. Louis I'd walk downtown, shop for a while, eat lunch, catch a movie, and then walk home. This particular day even though my hair was a mess and really needed washing, it was very important that I pick up whatever it was I needed, so I walked downtown. While looking through the electronics department, I noticed on their television that there was a lady whose hair was similar to mine and I thought to myself, well, her hair doesn’t look so bad. The longer I studied the screen I noticed that her clothes were similar to my own. I studied her a while, and I finally realized I was watching myself. This was the first time I’d ever seen a closed-circuit TV in use. I had to look around and make sure no one saw me “admiring” myself before I hurried out. Noella ____________________________________________________
AirShow Budapest Beautiful town and awesome aerobatics

Today, October 31, in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the 
 Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the 
 Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers 
 (Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 
1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 
1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis 
 resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been 
 damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the 
 stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini 
 had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and 
 their ability to withstand hard blows. 
1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain 
 prevented Germany from invading Britain. 
1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work. 
 At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George Washington, 
 Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln 
 were finished. 
1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a 
 German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered 
 World War II. More than 100 men were killed. 
1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 
1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a 
 revolt against French rule. 
1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land 
 an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first 
 person to set foot on the South Pole. 
1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, 
 TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the 
 time he was in Moscow, Russia. 
1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S. 
 bombing of North Vietnam. 
1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as 
 Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. 
1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 
1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the 
 U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had 
 mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 
1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near 
 her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, 
 was sworn in as prime minister. 
1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had 
 been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were 
 blamed for the murders. 
1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged 
 into a northern Indiana farm. 
1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in 
 prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death 
 of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her sentence 
 was reduced to manslaughter. 
1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N. arms 
 inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's weapons 
 of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of Kuwait in 1990. 
1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA, 
 killing all 217 people aboard. 
1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran Church 
 signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of Justification. The 
 event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute over the nature of 
 faith and salvation. 
2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 
2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of 
 VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United States 
 supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 
2015  smiled.


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How do you know a caller is a scammer? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 30
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia man, who was arrested after he smashed Waffle House door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave uprising in American history. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a widow to guess her age. "You must have some idea," she urged as he hesitated. "I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile, "the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten years younger because of your looks of ten years older because of your wisdom." ______________________________________________________ HOW FAITHS FIGHT FIRES Recently, just as an ecumenical gathering was commencing, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!" The Methodists gathered in a corner and prayed. The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for blessings that fire brings. The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring that fire was evil. The Roman Catholics called Rome for instructions. The Jews blamed the Christians and demanded they should pay. The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself." The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God!" The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out. The Christian Scientists concluded that the toxic fumes from the burning carpets would kill them before the fire reached them. The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson, who was to appoint a committee to look into the matter and submit a written report. The Pentecostals danced and sang with joy, "The Pentecostal fire has come!" The Unity Students proclaimed the fire had no power over them. Some Atheists in attendance didn't believe there was a fire. The Muslims stated it was Ahlla's will. The Pastafarians grabbed the fire extinguisher, put out the fire and conrtinued eating their spaghetti. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, Brookhaven, Georgia
Man arrested after he smashed Waffle House door to protest 50-cent biscuit hike Mitchell Harris Feinberg, 39, was arrested Sunday morning after police said he shattered the front door of a Waffle House in Brookhaven, Georgia. The reason for the breakfast breaking: He was allegedly angry the restaurant raised the price for a sausage biscuit from $1 to $1.50, WSBTV.com reports. A Waffle House waitress told police that when Feinberg saw the bill with the 50-cent price hike, he became belligerent because “someone had only charged him $1 [for a sausage biscuit] on previous dates,” according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Surveillance video reportedly shows the suspect get up from a corner booth, throw his bill on the floor and kick the front door on his way out. When the glass shattered, Feinberg fled the scene, only to be arrested outside a nearby apartment complex a short time later. Police said Feinberg told them he "barely kicked the door” when it shattered, and said he only kicked it because “he did not want to open the greasy door with his hand,” according to the police report. Feinberg was booked into the DeKalb County Jail on charges of disorderly conduct, criminal trespass and criminal damage to property. He remains in custody in lieu of $2,500 bond. The Brookhaven Police Dept. decided to use the incident as a teachable moment on Facebook.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Christine Re: How do you know a caller is a scammer? Dear Webby, How do I know a caller is a scammer? Couldn't it be somebody helpful? Christine Dear Christine Except for close friends, NOBODY legitimate calls you out of the blue about supposed problems in your computer. You can ignore those totally phony messages about Microsoft contacting you if they ever find out why a program locked up. That's from Windows 3, and they have never contacted anybody yet, as far as I know. If the caller claims to be from your ISP, then they are just as phony. Your ISP does not give a hoot about what goes on inside your computer, as long as YOU don't call them. The same goes for anybody calling and asking any information "to verify that it is really you." Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Who is known as the "godfather of America"? German geographer and mapmaker Martin Waldseemueller, whose book "Cosmographiae Introductio" was first published in 1507, named the New World "America" in the mistaken belief that it was Italian navigator and merchant Amerigo Vespucci who discovered the new continent. And the Indians are forever grateful that they were not discovered while somebody got lost on the way to Turkey. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sorting Socks into Pairs The one item I never put into a dryer is socks, because they always seem to shrink in there. So instead they get hung on the washing line on good days, or indoors on a foldaway airer on rainy days. Either way, this makes for a good opportunity to sort socks into pairs at an optimum time. It's a job I am sure that most of us hate, but if you do it as you hang them up it is an absolute breeze to sort out which matches what. Then very simply bunch the pairs together as you take them down once they are dry. Have a shoe box or something similar for odd socks and keep them in there for a few weeks in case their partners turn up on a subsequent washday. By ShirleyE [29] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young mother was visiting a doctor friend and made no attempt to restrain her four-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." "Nah," said the doctor calmly, "That's just poisons in there. They take some time but are quite effective. He'll be quiet soon." ___________________________________________________

The drunk
____________________________________________________ On little Larry's first day of first grade, he raised his hand as soon as the teacher came into the room and said, I don't belong here, I should be in third grade!' The teacher looked at little Larry's records and told him to please take his seat. Not five minutes passed when little Larry stood up again and said, I don't belong here, I should be in the third grade!' Larry did this a few more times before the principal came along and the teacher explained Larry's problem. The principal told little Larry that if he could answer some questions that they could decide in which grade he belonged. Well, they soon discovered that Larry knew all the state capitals and country capitals that the principal could think of. The teacher suggested they try some biology questions. What does a cow have 4 of but a woman has only 2?' asked the teacher. 'Legs!' Larry immediately replied. What does a man have in his pants that a woman doesn't?' asked the teacher. Pockets!' said Larry. The teacher looked at the principal, who said, Maybe he should be in third grade, I flunked those last two questions!' ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders For as long as I can remember I've been plagued with trying to remember names and faces. All the tried and true remedies failed. One day in the checkout lane at a new grocery store, a young man came up, pushed my cart away, and started bagging my groceries. I was wondering now how am I going to get them out to my car, they're way too heavy to carry. I was about to ask for the cart when he asked if I wanted help. Irritated, I said yes,ť thinking now that you pushed my cart away, you CAN take them out for me. However, he was very pleasant and chatted about what a nice day it was. I replied that yes it WAS a nice day, I just needed to find my car. (I also forget stuff like that.) He responded, "Oh that's okay, I see it."ť Surprised, I asked, How do YOU know where my car is?" His reply -- "I'm your next-door neighbor!"ť Noella ____________________________________________________
Let's arm chair travel around this big ol' beautiful world we live on. It will only take about a week.

Today, October 30, in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established 
 by Simon Bolivar. 
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton 
 County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave 
 uprising in American history. 
1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 
1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman 
 Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 
1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper. 
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio. 
 The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live 
 news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 
1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 
1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of 
 approximately 58 megatons. 
1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to increase 
 Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 
1972 45 people were killed when two trains collided in Chicago. 
1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator 
 Francisco Franco was near death. 
1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: 
 Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President 
 Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal 
 bailout of New York City. 
1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity 
 priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four 
 security officers. 
1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent 
 of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 
1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space, 
 performed the world's first animal dissections in space, 
 while aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 
1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian 
 President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military 
 still in control. 
1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a 
 referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 
1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the 
 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads raided 
 the plane. 
2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw out 
 the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between the New 
 York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks. 
2001 Michael Jordan returned to the NBA with the Washington Wizards 
 after a 3 1/2 year retirement. The Wizards lost 93-91 to the 
 New York Knicks.
2015  smiled.


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Phone call about computer problems 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 29

Thank you, Pat!!
Thank you Clyde!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award and a Darwin Award goes to a Dopey UCSB Student, who died from blood loss after punching through window Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 29, in 1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an independent commonwealth. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. --- David M. Ogilvy "Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work." --- Laurence J. Peter ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ More than anything, a young man from the city wanted to be a cowboy. Eventually he found a rancher who took pity on him and gave the lad a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said the man, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?" "City Slickers. Cows love chasing and scaring them." ______________________________________________________ The other night, Joe and his wife were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush, lipstick, and then turned to me and a dozen other mysterious concoctions, and then asked: "Does this look natural?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Andres Esteban Sanchez, 20, Poway, California
Dopey UCSB Student Dies from Blood Loss After Punching Through Window UCSB student Andres “Andy” Sanchez died in surgery Sunday morning at Cottage Hospital two hours after he punched through a window in his Isla Vista apartment and severely lacerated his arm. According to the Nexus report, which relied on information provided by Senior Deputy James McKarrell with the Isla Vista Foot Patrol, Sheriff’s deputies responded at approx 4:40 a.m. to the 6700 block of Abrego Road after receiving calls of a male subject running down the street screaming for help. When deputies came upon a panicked Sanchez in a nearby apartment complex, three people were holding him down and attempting to calm him. A blanket had been wrapped around his arm, and when the deputies removed it, they observed a “cut approximately three-quarter inches in diameter around his arm.” Witnesses said blood was “literally flying” from the wound. Sanchez, a second-year pre-biology major from Poway, California, was transported to Cottage Hospital but died from blood loss just before 7 a.m. One of Sanchez’s roommates told authorities he had rushed into their apartment earlier in the evening “talking gibberish, and obviously under the influence of drugs” the Nexus reported. At some point he punched through a window and cut his arm on the broken glass.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Francine Re: Phone call about computer problems Dear Webby, You sure saved me some trouble today. I am sure glad I was able to contact you via Skype while I was on the phone with the scammer. You were hilarious! Please tell all the subscribers about our little adventure! You got a much better way with words than I do. Francine Dear Francine OK, will do. Francine got a call from somebody with an Indian or Pakistani accent, telling her that she has problems in her computer, that are affecting her ISP and the Internet. Francine is a pretty smart lady and thought that was not right. So she correctly guessed that my Skype handle is dearwebby, and contacted me, while stalling the scammer. As they usually do, he told her to click on START, type Eventvwr and hit Enter. Eventvwr is some ancient viewer from troubleshooting Windows during developing Windows95, and the "events" shown are totally harmless and of interest only to programmers. A print job, for example, can generate a dozen or more Warnings and Errors, before Windows and the Printer agree on a proper handshake. No big deal. That's how Windows works. The scammer tried to scare Francine about the Warnings and Errors, and I fed Francine smart-ass remarks and dumb questions to sidetrack the scammer. Needless to say, she did not download anything and did not agree to anything. The scammer wanted her to download a program, so that he could reach into her computer and "assist" her in fixing the problems. Yeah, right. Much fun was had by us giving the scammer the runaround. After we tired of that nonsense, Francine told the scammer what to do with a Billy-Goat. If you get a call from anybody telling you that you have problems in your computer, don't download anything, don't go visit any pages, don't agree to anything, and don't give them any information, no correct information anyway. Play stupid, difficult, paranoid, aggressive, whatever. Just don't cooperate. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ On their 40th wedding anniversary, during the banquet, the husband was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. One in the crowd said, "Tell us, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" The husband said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness . . and a lot of other disciplines that you wouldn't have needed if you had stayed single." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses for Mint Tins I hate to throw away those cute mint tins so I've come up with a few idea's to use them in the car or purse. I put in some almonds/cashews (or your favorite) nuts to keep in the car for when I get a snack urge. Then I don't buy junk food......as often~ I also keep a few of my husband's meds in a tin, then if we are out visiting and stay over, he always has them! I bring along my vitamin supplements that I take. I also bring along chewable vitamins like calcium chews or gummies for adults that we never seem to want to take at home and have them on the road. Then our gummy snack is actually a healthy one! It's a great mini first aid kit and can hold quite a number of band aids, ibuprofen, alcohol wipes, etc. I always keep a $20 bill and a number of quarters in the car as well. You could lose a wallet, run out of gas without your credit card, need toll money. You never know! If you like to take spontaneous hikes or nature walks, a tin with a few additional items like: a whistle, matches (and the relighting birthday candles!) plus a pocket knife, mirror (for signaling if lost) are great to carry along! These are ideas for just the car/purse, in the house the options are endless! So don't throw out those tins! By Donna [291] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ We stopped for a quick meal and the waiter brought us each a bowl of soup. As the waiter turned away to return to the kitchen, Pa stopped him, calling: "Waiter!" "Yes ,sir, is there something wrong?" "The soup. Taste it," replied Pa. "I beg your pardon, Sir?" "Taste it." "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent." "Taste it," Pa persisted. "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients." "Taste it!" The exasperated waiter finally relented. "All right, Sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?" To which Pa replied triumphantly, "Ah ha ... " ___________________________________________________

I GOT this dance!
____________________________________________________ The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef. "Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there." "Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders The year was 1974, I didn't have a crock pot or any other modern kitchen doodads. I had just moved into a new apartment and equipping a kitchen was the least of my concerns. As long as the oven made heat and the fridge made cold, I was satisfied. Anyway, a friend was coming over for dinner so I had to draw from my scant culinary skills. PBJ sandwiches came to mind but I was able to fend off the thought. I'd heard that you could put a roast in the oven, turn it on to 200 F (93.3 C), and let it cook all day. Sounded okay to me so in the oven went the roast and I left for work. Eight hours later, I drove up to my apartment (an old house that was divided into units) and as I'm getting out of the car, I'm wondering what IS that odor? The closer I got to my door, the stronger it became. I followed the plume to a white oven that was now several endearing shades of brown. As if the experience hadn’t done enough damage to my ego, I proceeded to open the oven door. I didn't see how any more smoke could be in there, but my judgment was about to take the same beating my ego had suffered. There was a big enough cloud in there to darken all the adjacent apartments and then some! After gaining some modicum of composure, I grabbed a pair of pot holders and blindly reached around for the pan that held my roast. I found it just as I was ready to collapse from smoke inhalation and carried it out to the front porch. I tried to take the lid off but It wouldn't budge. After several minutes of praying and prying with a screwdriver, I was finally able to pop the lid. Once the smoke from inside the pan had cleared, I saw what had happened to my beautiful roast. I poked it with the screwdriver and found that it went all the way through to the air beneath the crust. Ninety five percent of my beautiful roast was billowing out of my apartment windows - the other five percent was in my lungs. It had not been a good day. I later discovered that my oven had one tiny eccentricity. No matter what I set it for, it cooked at 550 F (288 C). If I had gone to my mail box, it would have been done by the time I got back. Those PBJ sandwiches were sounding better by the minute. ____________________________________________________
18 reasons you should never travel to Chiapas.

Today, October 29, in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that 
 had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy 
 against King James I. 
1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an 
 independent commonwealth. 
1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was 
 the founder of Pennsylvania. 
1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 
1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, 
 was electrocuted. 
1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution 
 of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, 
 later known as Kemal Ataturk. 
1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the 
 Wall Street stock market. 
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 
1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went 
 on sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price 
 of $12.50 each. 
1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez 
 Canal Crisis. 
1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use 
 close-circuit television. 
1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional fight. 
1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 
1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all 
 school segregation. 
1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. 
 He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him 
 over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 
1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding 
 discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or 
 marital status 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's 
 regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during 
 its occupation of Kuwait. 
1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an 
 asteroid (Gaspra). 
1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to 
 pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President 
 Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power. 
1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the 
 Food and Drug Administration. 
1995 Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers became the NFL's 
 career leader in receiving yards with 14,040 yards. 
1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission 
 condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the 
 African National Congress. 
1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn 
 on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the 
 first American to orbit the Earth. 
1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for 
 $2 million at a New York auction. 
2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV 
 network telecast. 
2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released. 
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who was arrested for attacking a Karaoke DJ over mic volume Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 28, in 1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us. --- Jerry Garcia, (of the Grateful Dead) "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' --- Ronald Reagan ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The basketball coach stormed into the university President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first." ______________________________________________________ Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?" He replied, "It cuts off my circulation." She answered back, "It's supposed to!" ______________________________________________________ Kansas My friend shared this tree with me. I thought you might enjoy it too. Be safe and careful. You are a valued person. Janice ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Fort, 26, DeBary, Florida,
Florida man was arrested for attacking Karaoke DJ over mic sound The only record this karaoke singer will have is a criminal one. A man in DeBary, Florida, was arrested Thursday morning after police said he assaulted a karaoke DJ at Blackie's Bar. Joshua Fort, 26, was performing the Jay Z and Justin Timberlake jam "Holy Grail' with another man, when he sounded a discordant note at the job being done by DJ Omar Isaac, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. Police said when Isaac didn't pump up the volume on Fort's microphone, the suspect responded in a way that speaks volumes. First, Fort grabbed the DJ’s laptop computer and slammed it shut. Then witnesses said the suspect threw a glass at Isaac that hit the DJ on the side of his head. Fort is also accused of pulling the DJ to the dance floor and throwing him on the ground there, according to WNDB.com. Fort fled the scene, but later turned himself into the Volusia County Jail, where he was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. He was released on $5,000 bond. The suspect told police he ran from the karaoke bar because because he “knew he was going to be in trouble” and that “everyone would point fingers at him,” according to a police report obtained by WNDB.com. Before his arrest, he was treated at a local hospital for injury to his left hand. Because the alleged crime centered around karaoke, the Florida Sun-Sentinel suggested the suspect be shipped off to Sing Sing.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Tracker PDF editor Dear Webby, PDF Exchange does have a free version that is likely to be close to the same as Nitro. On their main page, in the upper left corner just below the banner is a graphic that says Get Free PDF Viewer now. If you click on that graphic it will download the free viewer. I liked their product so much that I purchased it, but I have many pdf docs that I must edit and annotate. http://www.tracker-software.com/ Neil Dear Neil Thank you for that info! Marlene also reported on that: "this is a program I have used for several years. this version is free" Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. So he simply asked: "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows, tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal wedding gown stepped to the front. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Molasses Sugar Cookies This is a crisp spice cookie. I make them every Christmas and give some away for gifts. They were my late mother's favorite and it reminds me of her when I make them. Approximate Time: About 15 minutes plus 1 hour chilling and 8-10 min.baking time Yield: Approximately 3 doz. Ingredients: 3/4 cup shortening 1 cup sugar 1/4 cup molasses 1 egg 2 tsp baking soda 2 cups flour 1/2 tsp cloves 1/2 tsp ginger 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt Steps: Melt the shortening in a 3 or 4 quart saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat and let cool. Then add sugar, molasses and egg and beat well using an electric hand mixer. In a separate bowl combine the flour with the rest of the dry ingredients. Mix the wet and dry ingredients together. Chill for 1 hour. Form into 1 inch balls and roll in granulated sugar. Place on a greased cookie sheet, a silicon mat or parchment paper. Space about 2 inches apart. Bake at 375şF for 8-10 minutes. Source: A recipe on the bottle of Brer Rabbit Molasses By Diana W. [12] You can drastically cut down on the sugar and increase molasses to get traditional soft gingerbread cookies. You have to add more flour until you can roll the dough into balls. They will melt into flat cookies in the oven. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and found out the cost was $200 one-way. Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100. Well during the flight, he talking with the passenger seated next to him. And, in the course of their little chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear that part of the conversation and remembered from the passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him. Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive in Boston.. Why you ask?" Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this used parachute." Jean-Claude, "What for?" Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over 18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave now." ___________________________________________________

the internet cloud is not where you think
____________________________________________________ A passenger train in California is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ---------------- Yeah, I remember a train like that in Austria. It had little porches at each end of the wagons and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train is in motion is not permitted." Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the flower pickers passed the train. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Out of Cascade? Wanna know what happens when you use about a quarter-cup full of Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher? Well, I did one day! I'm in my bedroom curling my hair to go somewhere, and I hear one of the twins in the kitchen. "Uh, Noella? I think you need to come in here." "Why? You guys need to get ready." "Uh, Noella? There's suds all over the floor, Lots of suds, they're covering the whole floor!" I groan, walk into the kitchen, and sure enough, there ARE suds all over the floor. They're headed for the computer sitting on the floor just a few feet away. The boys bring lots of towels from the bathroom and I call my husband, who is laughing his head off. His solution - get out my Rainbow (dust and dirt is sucked into a container of water) and start vacuuming the water out. You know what happens when you vacuum suds with a Rainbow? The motor starts sounding funny. So, I shut it off and open it, to find that it took the water out of the dishwasher okay but now suds are way up in the motor. I did remember the salesman told us that if that ever happened, disconnect from the water housing and run dry. Now not only is the floor still covered with suds, there's more water plus oil on the floor. And we've got to be somewhere in just a few minutes! Moral of the story is - unless you want to use LOTS of towels to sop up water, never, ever use Dawn dish soap in your dishwasher! ____________________________________________________
Someone had a lot of time on their hands centuries ago!

Today, October 28, in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts.
1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the 
 American Revolutionary War. 
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 
1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor 
 by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and 
 is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty 
 Enlightening the World." 
1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use 
 fingerprinting. 
1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known 
 as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 
 1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. 
 Constitution. 
1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government 
 and introduced fascism to Italy. 
1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 
1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that 
 he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 
1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective 
 guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 
1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, 
 was completed. 
1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard 
 Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin 
 serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 
1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply 
 deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 
1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled 
 guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the abortion 
 pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of the drug 
 after the government of France demanded it do so. 
1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 
1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for a 
 complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all the 
 troops there would be home by Christmas. 
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 27

Thank you Jim H.!!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Iowa man, who was arrested after stealing a taxi Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first Quakers to be executed in America. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A grandmother overheard her five-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be turned around and used against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride today." ______________________________________________________ Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'." "You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" "That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jim Hetrick for sending this picture, taken by Don Hole, one of his former students, who works the midnight shift at the Outer Banks Fishing Pier.: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Luis Orellana-Rivera, 26, Des Moines, Iowa
Iowa man was arrested after stealing a taxi An Iowa resident arrested for stealing a taxi moments after his release from a Des Moines hospital told cops that he boosted the ride because he did not want to walk the six blocks to his residence. According to police, Luis Orellana-Rivera, 26, hopped into a running cab parked outside Mercy Medical Center. The taxi driver told cops that he pulled up to the hospital’s front doors and left the car running as he made a delivery to the blood bank. Pictured in the above mug shot, Orellana-Rivera allegedly swiped the car around 6:15 AM Friday, immediately after his discharge. Shortly after the taxi’s owner reported the vehicle stolen, Des Moines Police Department cops used GPS data to locate the Ford Crown Victoria, which was parked less than a mile from the hospital. Orellana-Rivera was arrested as he exited the vehicle, which was in a lot behind his former residence. A “friend/former roommate” told police that Orellana-Rivera “has been having mental issues lately due to drug usage,” and has been “delusional and paranoid.” Orellana-Rivera, who had the cab’s keys in his pants pocket, told police that he opted to steal the car instead of walking home from the hospital. Orellana-Rivera, who spent about six hours at the medical center, was wearing a hospital bracelet and had a pulse oxygen device still attached to his finger when apprehended. Orellana-Rivera was arrested for felony theft and jailed in the Polk County lockup (where he is being held in lieu of $5000 bond).
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Edith Re: PDF form fillers Dear Webby, You mentioned Nitro PDF program a couple of weeks ago. My sister told me to get PDF-Exchange from Tracker-software. What is the difference? Edith Dear Edith If you just want to fill an occasional form, then the Nitro will be cheaper. They have a free Reader, that has limited "typing" abilities. For buying stuff or filling out your taxes, that's good enough. PDF-Exchange has no free version that i can see, but they have much better typing and editing abilities. If you are writing e-books and want to do fancy formatting, then you might want to check out the PDF-Exchange. You would still write the e-books with Open Office or WORD, and save them as PDF. However, since neither of those two are that good for picking up a PDF file and edit it, an editor like Nitro or PDF-Exchange are handy for quickly fixing a typo instead of opening the word processor doc, fixing the typo, and saving it as PDF again. And of course, filling forms is much easier with a dedicated PDF program like those two. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Splatter Screen For Popcorn Here is a tip to release the aroma of popcorn but protect it from anything entering. Simply use a splatter screen cover. Great for home, picnics, or parties! By KIM HOGGAN [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between the door and the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter." ___________________________________________________

GoPro: Backflip Over 72ft Canyon
____________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma, you're 87 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo and a nose ring!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders It's not a cooking story, but here's one: I have several friends who consider themselves to be very spiritual.ť They advised that I should watch the sunrise every morning — that it would be a very spiritual experience for me. It sounded good, so the next morning I got up early enough to catch it. I was still lying in my bed when I looked out the window and saw the most beautiful yellow light ever. I gazed on that sun as it was rising in the sky and felt an awesome sense of peace. Then it slowly dawned on me that the sun wasn't rising. I went to the window to check it out and found myself staring at the light pole across the street! I had a really spiritual epihany when I saw the light. It was time to clean the windows. ____________________________________________________
Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage

Today, October 27, in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
 first Quakers to be executed in America. 
1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York 
 City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other 
 seven failed. 
1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed 
 of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George 
 "Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence 
 to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted. 
1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was 
 the first rapid-transit subway system in America. 
1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 
1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in 
 New York. 
1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 
 26' 2 1/4". 
1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its 
 new synthetic yarn. 
1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring 
 Grouch Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on 
 NBC television. 
1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. 
 They had been married on January 14, 1954. 
1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis 
 by calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis 
 in Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new 
 aspect of the agreement. 
1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime 
 Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the 
 Nobel Peace Prize for their progress toward achieving 
 a Middle East accord. 
1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the 
 U.S. prison population had exceeded one million for 
 the first time in American history. 
2002 Emmitt Smith (Dallas Cowboys) became the all-time 
 leading rusher in the NFL when he extended his career 
 yardage to 16,743. He achieved the record in his 193rd 
 game. He also scored his 150th career touchdown. 
2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of 
 Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected 
 leftist leader. 
2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy 
 FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second 
 largest banking company in the U.S.
2015  smiled.


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How to clear the cache in Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 26

Thank you Shalla

Back in the saddle again.
Next injections are on January 8.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk collegian, who called 911, claimed she is "Olivia Pope" and then warned cop of car bomb heading for White House Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. --- Voltaire (1764) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An EMT in southern Georgia was part of the unit that responded to a call from Coffee County late one night. They arrived on the scene and found a severely injured man lying at the edge of a field. His stomach had been completely torn open, and he was covered with lacerations and bruises. He also had a prominent tire tread across his chest. The injured man's companion showed up in a racing model ATV vehicle, clearly intoxicated, and gave the following account. Imagine this tale being recited in a deep Georgian accent. He and his injured friend had been drinkin' and ridin' around the field on the three-wheeled ATV, when they sighted a stand of deer in their headlights. The friend, riding the back as a passenger,was struck with a great idea. "Hey man," he said, "If you quarter off one a those deer, betcha I can bulldog 'im." The driver thought this was an entertaining idea, so he proceeded to isolate a buck and race him down. His intoxicated passenger proceeded to leap from the ATV, grab the buck by the antlers, and perform an excellent example of this rodeo sport. He pinned the animal's head to the ground, but that's when things went wrong. The buck, less docile than a steer, simply got up, threw his head back, and tore his assailant's belly open. The deer then proceeded to stomp, kick, and butt him for good measure. The EMTs noticed that this information accounted all of the injuries except one. When they asked the driver about the tire track across his injured friend's chest, he responded: "Well how else was I s'posed to git the deer off 'im?" ______________________________________________________ The closest to perfection anyone ever comes is when he or she fills out a job application form. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jim Hetrick for this picture: A picture of the "fall leaves in Ohio." Enjoy and again thanks for all. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kelsey Cousins, 20, Iowa
Drunk collegian calls 911, says she is "Olivia Pope" and then warns cop of car bomb heading for White House An Iowa collegian who is apparently a big fan of booze and TV’s “Scandal” called 911 early this morning claiming to be “Olivia Pope,” and reported a sighting of “Cyrus Beene” outside an Iowa City bar, police say. Cops responding to the 2:45 AM emergency call were flagged down by Kelsey Cousins, a 20-year-old University of Iowa student who is a member of the school’s rowing team. Officer Brad Reinhard reported that Cousins, seen above, “kept talking about ‘Olivia Pope’ and about a car with a bomb in it that was heading to the White House.” The cop added that, “‘Olivia Pope’ is a television show character and everything that defendant stated was nonsensical and rambling.” Actress Kerry Washington stars in “Scandal” as Pope, a Beltway fixer and presidential mistress. The “Cyrus Beene” character, played by Jeff Perry, is a scheming manipulator who was fired from his post as White House chief of staff. The underage Cousins, according to a police report, smelled of alcohol, suffered from impaired speech and balance, and had bloodshot, watery eyes. She reportedly copped to drinking and possessing a fake ID. Following her arrest for public intoxication, Cousins, seen above, took a Breathalyzer test that registered her blood alcohol content at .206, more than twice the legal limit. She is also facing a second misdemeanor charge for misuse of the 911 system.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Samantha Re: Clear Cache Dear Webby, Every time I have a problem getting to certain sites, that are up and working, because friends tell me they have no problem getting to them, the ISP's tech support tells me to clear the browser cache. When I was still using IE, I used to know how to do that, not that it ever made any difference, but I knew how to do that. Now, with Chrome I have no clue about how to clear the cache. Second question: Is there a way I can tell whether they are just full of BS and are just giving me the run-around while they go ask mom how to fix the fluck-up at the station? Samantha Dear Samantha On Chrome,click the three horizontal bars at the right top. That opens the menu. In there click HISTORY. In History, click CLEAR BROWSING DATA In the next panel click EMPTY CACHE You could set the time interval to Beginning of time, but that is silly, since if tehre had been a cache problem, it would be with a recently cached site. Re 2: yes, they are usually full of BS if they tell you to clear the cache. The easiest way to prove that is to bypass the browser and use tracert. Click on Start type cmd and hit enter. Let's assume you are trying to get to webby.com/humor On the scary black screen that opens, type tracert webby.com and hit Enter. Don't type any part after the actual domain name. After a few seconds you will see the route information appearing one line after another. Just getting to your ISP is usually the slowest. Eventually, the trace will wind up at the target domain. If you get there without any potholes (stars), then the route is clear. However, if there are potholes, or roadblocks (3 stars), then the route is obstructed, and the problem is NOT in your browser's cache, since you didn't even use your browser. To copy the trace route is a bit tricky, since it is in DOS format, unchanged from the 80's. Right-click on the top frame bar, select EDIT, and in there select MARK Then use the mouse to highlight the trace route, and hit ENTER Then you can go to your email and with CTRL V paste the trace route. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had knew how to write herself!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Paperclip as Collar Stay My son has to wear dress shirts to work and I launder them myself. He loses those little plastic collar stays all the time. He discovered a paperclip works like a charm! It's not quite as long but just as effective and easier to remove before washing. If this tip wins, I promise to give him the prize. He's saving for grad school. Source: My son's brilliant mind and necessity By Beth Pierpont H. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." ___________________________________________________

when neighbors complained about noise, this is what they found
____________________________________________________ Billy Bob and Bubba fly to Alaska for a fishing trip. They hire a bush pilot and rent a boat, rods, and tackle. After two weeks they have caught only one salmon. ''MAN Bubba," Billy Bob says, "Do you realize this lousy fish cost us about $15000 apiece." 'Wow," Bubba replies, 'At that rate it's a good thing we only caught one of them!" ____________________________________________________
Russian Dance Group Float across the Stage

Today, October 22, in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile 
 canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of 
 $7,602,000. 
1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 
1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, 
 AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and 
 Doc Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 
1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 
1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz 
 during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The 
 battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the 
 Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 
1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 
 40 to 75 cents an hour. 
1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great Britain. 
1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner 
 from New York City to Paris. 
1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile Crisis 
 by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S. agreed to 
 not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in Turkey. 
1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26 
 years on the Peacock Throne. 
1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared, 
 "Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 
1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to officially 
 visit to the United States. 
1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully landed 
 at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 
1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by 
 Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 
1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli head 
 of state to visit Egypt. 
1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being born 
 with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the 
 animal heart. 
1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and Soviet 
 embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end their 
 arms race. 
1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it 
 was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is 
 used to induce abortions. The French government made the company 
 reverse itself two days later. 
1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers. The 
 whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice pack. 
1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000 points. 
1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal 
 correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a 
 six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 
1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after the 
 company recorded its highest losses in history. 
1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which was 
 designed to unify the country. 
1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of defrauding 
 the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress. Dean was a central 
 figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 
1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister Abdel 
 Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 
1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York Islanders in his 
 605th game. He became the second-fastest player to attain the plateau. 
 Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his 575th NHL game. 
1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile warhead. 
2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a defense 
 contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract, for the 
 "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract in history. 
2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where separatist 
 rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116 hostages and all 
 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or gunshot wounds.
2015  smiled.


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W8 script error on start-up 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my 
eyeballs. That means no Saturday, Sunday and Monday
newsletters will be sent out. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a SC teen arrested after his rape victim bit off his tongue. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote with a march in New York City, NY. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. --- Bruce Grocott (1940 - ) "The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." --- George Bernard Shaw ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Customer: "I'd like an under the mouse mat, please." Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety, $1.95 each." Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?" Salesperson: "Hmmm, have you got one of those new Intels ?" Customer: "Yes, it says Intel inside, it's a 17"." Salesperson: "Then you better get one of these $29.95 mousepads" Customer: "But, is it Y2K approved ?" Salesperson: "Well,...to be on the safe side, maybe you should better get one of these bue ones for $49.95." ______________________________________________________ Bulletin Board Bloopers: The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. --------------------------- The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. --------------------------- The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. --------------------------- Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice. --------------------------- The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antoine Tremane Miller, 16 North Charleston, South Carolina
SC teen arrested after his rape victim bit off his tongue -As she fought off a sexual assault from an intruder, a South Carolina woman bit off her 16-year-old attacker’s tongue, according to a police report detailing the harrowing home invasion. The 33-year-old victim told South Charleston cops that the knife-wielding teen forced his way into her residence early Friday morning. While grappling with the attacker, the victim was knocked to the floor and punched several times. She told investigators that the assailant declared, “Stop fighting and I won't hurt you.” The intruder then carried the woman to a bedroom and attempted to remove her shorts, police say. But the victim fought back and kicked the teen in the groin, which incensed him. "Now you have to die!" the assailant said, according to the report. As the attacker forcibly “shoved his tongue down in her mouth,” the woman “bit...as hard as she could until she heard it snap,” cops noted. The screaming assailant then fled the bedroom, recalled the victim, who told police that when she got off the bed, “the suspect’s tongue was still in her mouth and she threw it on the kitchen floor.” Upon arriving at the woman’s residence, police discovered blood in the bedroom, as well as the severed tongue (which was placed into a bag of ice). Cops also found a knife in the home’s yard. The victim, investigators noted, had a bruise around her right eye with swelling and scratches on her knee and foot. Shortly after the attack, the teenager was located at a nearby Waffle House. Cops were dispatched to the restaurant after the suspect’s mother called 911 to report her son “not having a tongue and needing medical assistance.” Police have identified the attacker as Antoine Tremane Miller, a North Charleston resident. The teenager, who has been charged as an adult, is jailed without bond on felony counts of criminal sexual conduct, assault, burglary, and weapons possession. Miller, seen in the above mug shot, was treated at a North Charleston hospital, but a police spokesperson declined to say whether the teen’s tongue--which police transported to the hospital--was reattached.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Unresponsive Script on W8 Hi Dear Webby, I appreciate your looking into whether you can find a cure for the bothersome "Unresponsive Script" window popping up continually on my 8.1 laptop. I gave the computer to the Geek Squad for a possible solution, If they find one I'll let you know. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter I found this: A file called IEFrame.dll has registration problems. Every DLL file is registered in the system registry. The problem arises when IEFrame.dll file registration entries gets corrupted. In this case there is a manual way to resolve this issue. Unregister and reregister the file again as shown here: 1. Click the Start button. 2. Point to All Programs | Accessories. 3. Right click Command Prompt. 4. Select "Run as administrator". 5. Execute below commands- regsvr32 actxprxy.dll regsvr32 oleaut32.dll regsvr32 ole32.dll Regsvr32. Ieframe.dll 6. When you're done, type EXIT and press ENTER. If this does not fix your problem, the best way would be to use Quick-Fix Patch. It scans the whole system for problems related to DLL registration, missing file, and so on. It would take a minute or two to repair it automatically. UNinstalling IE would probably also take care of the problem. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Joan in Minnesota. The Canadian Geese are back, a big event there. Next come the Winnebagos. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stuffed Peppers An easy fall dish that's healthy and delicious! Approximate Time: 90 minutes Yield: 2-3 servings, 6 pepper halves Ingredients: 3 bell peppers 1/2 cup brown rice 1 small onion, diced 1 cup crushed tomatoes 12 oz extra lean ground beef (I used 95%) 1 Tbsp minced garlic 1 Tbsp garlic salt 1 Tbsp olive oil 1/2 cup mozzarella cheese Steps: Slice the peppers in half length wise and scoop out seeds and pith. Rinse and set in a baking dish, cut side up. Saute' garlic and onion in olive oil for 5 minutes or until softened. Add in ground beef and cook until brown. Cook rice as directed. Add in tomatoes, garlic salt, and ground beef mixture in last 5 minutes of cooking. Bake peppers alone for 15 minutes at 350 F. Then spoon stuffing mixture evenly over peppers, returning to oven to bake for 30 minutes at 400 F. Add mozzarella cheese evenly over peppers. Broil for 5 minutes or until browned. Serve up with tomato sauce if desired. Link: www.triingforbalance.blogspot.com By Rae [1] That takes less skill but quite a bit more work than regular, old-fashioned stuffed peppers. For those, hollow out the peppers, and for the beef use regular ground beef. It is cheaper and has much more flavor. Murdering onions by just softening them would get you yelled at in my kitchen. Sautee them properly until they are hazelnut brown! Gently stir them while you do that, so that they don't get black edges. NO email-checking during the sauteeing! For the rice, DO NOT cook it as directed! That produces a silly mush after baking. If you nuke the rice, deduct a minute, and don't let it steep covered like you would if you use it as a side dish! Mix the rice and the rest of the ingredients except cheese and stuff it into the hollowed out peppers. That is why they are called stuffed peppers. when full, add the cheese and cap it with the original top after carving off the seed pith. Add a cup of slightly watered down pasta sauce, about 3/4 to 1 inch high in the casserole or crock pot. I drain the "spiced, crushed tomatoes" a bit and use that liquid to thin down the pasta sauce. Bake in the oven in a casserole at 350 for 25 minutes or in a crock pot for a few hours. THEN you get proper, old-fashioned STUFFED Peppers, that taste just like your gramma's stuffed peppers did. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A number of children from the neighborhood were invited to Mrs. Johnson's for dinner. She decided to do something different while serving the meal. "Where are you originally from?" she asked one child. "California," said the boy. "Well then, I will give you the left wing." She turned to another boy and asked, "Where are YOU from?" "New York," he answered. And she said, "You get the right wing." She turned to the third boy and asked, "Where are you from?" He said, "I'm from New Orleans and I ain't hungry!" ___________________________________________________

when neighbors complained about noise, this is what they found
____________________________________________________ Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me." ____________________________________________________
There’s an annual Straw Art Festival in Japan and it looks awesome!

Today, October 22, in
1910 - Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a 
 public solo airplane flight in the United States. 
1915 - Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to 
 vote with a march in New York City, NY. 
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 
 starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression. 
1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive 
 against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 
1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet 
 occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary 
 and eventually suppress the uprising. 
1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the 
 Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor 
 due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for 
 writing "Dr. Zhivago". 
1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine" 
 of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of 
 American States (OAS). 
1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began 
 overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 
1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat 
 Communist China. 
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the 
 subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 
1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility 
 when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 
1980 The resignation of Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin 
 was announced. 
1984 "NBC Nightly News" aired footage of the severe drought 
 in Ethiopia. 
1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of 
 Soviet rule. 
1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor 
 to stand on Chinese soil. 
1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill 
 Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn Bosnia. 
1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian 
 Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace 
 West Bank accord. 
1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 
2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010, 
 it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. 
2015  smiled.


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W8 Script Error Failure 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida couple arrested after they left name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to. --- H. Mumford Jones (1892 - 1980) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Jean Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?" The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today." The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five." The third old guy said, "I had seven riders, the same as last time." The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today." After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I've been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?" The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it." ______________________________________________________ Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Megan Ohara, 24 David Ziskowski, 19 Palm Beach, Florida
Florida couple arrested after they left name and phone number in gallery guestbook before robbery Authorities say a man and woman left the woman's name and telephone number in the guestbook of a South Florida art gallery before stealing about $6,000 worth of jewelry. Palm Beach police say 24-year-old Megan Ohara and 19-year-old David Ziskowski took a bracelet and a ring Sunday from the Attila JK exhibition at the ICFA Gallery. They were spotted a short time later at a nearby grocery, and police reported finding the jewelry in the woman's purse. Officers found multiple fake email addresses and at least one obscene drawing in the gallery's guestbook. The South Florida Sun Sentinel (http://goo.gl/UEPiqq ) reports that two of the fake emails included the name "Meg" and one included Ohara's phone number. Ohara and Ziskowski were arrested and charged with grand theft.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Unresponsive Script on W8 Hi Dear Webby, I once again seek the help of the western hemisphere's preeminent cyber guru. Quite frequently on my 8.1 Windows laptop, Firefox browser, a window comes up, saying "Warning: Unresponsive Script." The screen then freezes and to correct this problem I have to reboot. Have you an answer on how to prevent this from happening? Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter "Just a routine Windows 8 F...up". Hit CTRL SHIFT ESC to open the Taskmanager sort by Memory locate and highlight FireFox Hit END PROCESS in the right bottom corner. It will close FireFox and unlock W8. Chrome seems to be able to deal with that problem more intelligently and lets you stop and restart unresponsive scripts. Unfortunately, that only gets you over a symptom of the problem, and does not cure it. I will look for a possible cure. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An old farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and asked for the price of their toilet paper. The company wrote back telling him to look on page #346 of their catalog. He wrote another letter to the company that said: "If you had not stopped sending me catalogs, I would not need any toilet paper." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Your Pumpkin from Spoiling It is Jack-o-Lantern time! I always wait until the last minute to carve my pumpkin because it seems like it starts to rot the next day. I saw a special on TV where they immerse the cut pumpkin in a solution of water and bleach. You keep it in for a while and make sure it gets submerged and every cut surface is treated. Let it drain for a while. Just make sure you wear old clothes and use plastic gloves. I think Rubbermaid would be the best. I don't know the percentage of bleach to water, or how long to keep in the liquid. Before I have tried using salt and water or vinegar but the pumps didn't last any longer. Source: TV special Extreme Hallowe'en I think it was By Nightsong [37] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward, "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short." ___________________________________________________

July 31, 2015 moonrise over Cape Byron Lighthouse, on Belongil Beach, Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia. The head land and lighthouse at Byron Bay is the most easterly point of the Australian Mainland and therefor is the first place in Australia to watch the full moon rise. This video is made up of 1038 frames and slowed down to as close to real time as possible.
____________________________________________________ When I consider how sweaters tend to make me sweat, I'm a lot less inclined to wear my windbreaker. ____________________________________________________
Body paint for Halloween

Today, October 22, in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It 
 later became known as Princeton University. 
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute 
 jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 
1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally 
 elected president of the Republic of Texas. 
1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" 
 among those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to 
 come to an end according to the followers of William Miller. 
1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment 
 with a high-resistance carbon filament. 
1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing 
 money from many New York banks. 
1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the 
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to 
 inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces 
 to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the 
 discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island. 
1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft 
 had orbited the Earth 163 times. 
1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was discharged 
 after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His tombstone reads 
 "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the military they gave 
 me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one." 
1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was allowed 
 into the U.S. for medical treatment. 
1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was 
 decertified by the federal government for its strike the previous August. 
1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade Association 
 agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by the year 1993. 
1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which it 
 defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 
1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to 
Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in July. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications downloaded. 
2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for the 
 longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been continously 
 inhabited since November 2, 2000. 
2015  smiled.


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Restore desktop 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police her name is 'Hell On Wheels' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 21, in 1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per minute on a manual typewriter. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. --- Steven Wright (1955 - ) "Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot." --- Charlie Chaplin Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them. --- Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A salesman from New York traveling in Kansas left his snazzy rental car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over he checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents. He went to the local garage and inquired how he could fix the problem himself. The mechanic told him to blow on the tailpipe and the dents would pop out again. He took the car to the motel where he was staying, parked it and proceeded to blow on the tailpipe. A local came by and inquired what he was doing. He explained that he was blowing on the tailpipe to remove the dents. The local responded, "That's not gonna to work, not unless you roll up the windows real tight first." ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out. "If I gave you $200," the teacher began, "and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?" "Well, it sure would be no orgy!" Johnny answered, "Helen, my girlfriend, would bust my skull for that!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Dolores Alleman 38, CLARKSBURG, Wesrt Virginia
Women arrested for DUI, who told tells police her name is 'Hell On Wheels' Police say a woman accused of drunken driving and hitting six vehicles initially identified herself to an officer as "Hell on Wheels." The Exponent Telegram (http://bit.ly/1KdL6cI ) reports 38-year-old Amanda Dolores Alleman of Clarksburg was arrested Friday on numerous charges. Among them are aggravated driving while under the influence, striking an unattended vehicle and having no insurance. Police say Alleman had a blood-alcohol content of 0.20 percent when she struck six parked vehicles on two different streets. Alleman was being held at the North Central Regional Jail on $14,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Desktop restore Dear Webby For that poor lady whose desktop icons all got scrambled - we only have a couple dozen so what I did was do a "print screen" of the desktop & saved it in an e-mail draft. Now when they go haywire I just use that to reassemble them. Sounds a lot easier, hope you will print my idea. Bonnie in Candia Dear Bonnie You are an exception! Most people have a LOT of icons on their desktop. If somebody finds the half minute installation of Desktop OK too much hassle, there ARE ways to reduce the number of icons. Make some desktop folders, for example Tools, Music, Recipes and so on. Then drag all related icons into those folders. That will reduce the number of loose icons very quickly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and shovel for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock", the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering whack with the shovel. Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall: "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two fourty five in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hydrogen Peroxide and Baking Soda Deodorant I have been keeping a bowl and mixing hydrogen peroxide and baking soda and using it as deodorant. I have never been fresher. Mix a small amount into a paste. I buy the value size on both at Sam's Club. I am at seven months and might get a year out if it. I used to use a deodorant costing 5.99 every two weeks. By Stevebasso [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card." Son: "Bobby just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ___________________________________________________

What does Google look like
____________________________________________________ had been misbehaving and was sent to bed. After a while emerged and informed mother that had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you about your misbehaving, He will help you." "Oh, I don't need help with misbehavin' ", said . "I asked Him to help me not to get caught quite so much." ____________________________________________________
A massive bridge building machine. Those are some brave men that work around that machine.

Today, October 21, in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, 
 was launched in Boston's harbor. 
1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. 
 The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 
1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 
1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. 
 It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 
1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during WWI 
 near Nancy, France. 
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
 per minute on a manual typewriter. 
1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the 
 Electric Show in New York City, NY. 
1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined 
 29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 
1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was 
 captured by U.S. troops. 
1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 
1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 
1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York. 
 The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 
1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in 
 opposition to the Vietnam War. 
1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to 
 Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 
1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action 
 was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American diplomats. 
1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released 
 after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 
1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North 
 Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 
2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial 
 birth abortions. 
2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer 
 of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist 
 nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.
2015  smiled.


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Desktop is messed up again 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 20


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida couple, who prolonged police standoff to have sex 'one last time'. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 20, in 1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. --- Sacha Guitry (1885 - 1957) Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get her. --- Hillary "Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea." --- John Ciardi "Modern Art" ? Isn't that an oxymoron like "Dry Water", which, according to people in the military is like "Military Intelligence" ? "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mother: "How's your history paper coming?" Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful." Mother: "Really?" Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell history papers on that topic!" ______________________________________________________ A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, Leanne Hunn, 30, , Jacksonville, Florida
Couple Prolongs Police Standoff To Have Sex 'One Last Time' Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, allegedly refused to surrender to police until they could have sex together one last time. A standoff began Wednesday night when Jacksonville Sheriffs responded to a call about Michael Forte, 34, who was wanted on several warrants including armed burglary, FirstCoastNews.com reports. A Jacksonville Sheriffs Office spokeswoman said deputies were also looking for Bautista, who also had several warrants, including armed burglary. Bautista and Hunn reacted to the police visit by barricading themselves inside a mobile home and refusing to leave for more than six hours, according to News4Jax.com. Three other adults were inside the home at the time police arrived, but one woman was allowed to leave a short time later. Police said Hunn and Bautista detained another woman by dragging her to a back bedroom where she was held down, according to the website. That woman was eventually allowed to leave, but Hunn and Bautista refused to exit the mobile home. Hostage negotiators were called to the scene and attempted to communicate with the couple via phone and bullhorns, according to Jacksonville.com. At some point during the standoff, Hunn told police she would give herself up but not until she had sex with Bautista “one last time,” according to the website. Hunn never did come out on her own. Eventually, officers broke into the mobile home and arrested the couple. Bautista and Hunn were arrested and charged with resisting police and false imprisonment, according to CBS News. They are currently in the Duval County Jail. The couple apparently had an audience for their "last time" lovemaking session. Turns out Forte, the subject of the original phone tip, was also in the mobile home. Forte was arrested and charged with possession of a weapon by a convicted felon, armed robbery, and murder, according to Inside Edition. Forte is currently being held in the Duval County jail on charges of murder, armed robbery with a firearm or other deadly weapon and possession of a weapon by a felon, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annalisa Re: Desktop messed up Dear Webby Windoze has done it AGAIN. Totally screwed up my perfectly organized desktop and just moved all icons in one disorganized pile on the left side, while I was not even near the computer. When I saw that, this prim and proper lady used some VERY foul language! What have you got to keep me from cussing like that? Annalisa Dear Annalisa I got an add-on that installed itself into the right-click menu for saving or restoring the desktop. Unfortunately, I got that probably half a dozen years ago and have long forgotten where I got it from. Try right-clicking the desktop and see if you have that add-on. In case you don't have that, I searched for an alternative. I tested it, and it is clean and works well. Go to Desktop OK and Download the program at Desktop OK Program You have to unzip it and then run it. Don't get flustered by the many options in it! Just look at the Auto-Save, tell it to save 32 back-ups, and to save when Windows shuts down. Saving every 15 minutes is available, but in my opinion not a good idea. That could possibly save right after Windows messes up your desktop. If you have time and inclination, you can play with the ton of options in there, but it works fine as is. If it looks like it disappeared, click the double upwards arrows in the right bottom, beside the W10 nagger. That shows you programs, that are running in the background. One of them is a white mini desktop with some colored dots in it. That's Desktop OK. If you want to restore the desktop, you can select which saved version you want. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A preacher wanted to mail a letter home when he arrived in this small town where he was to to preach a sermon. He asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, he thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven." "Huh! the boy huffed, "You don't even know your way to the post office." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Shower Curtain Rings as Hangers Each time you buy a new shower curtain it comes with a new set of curtain rings which are not always needed. You can use these in your wardrobe to save space by hooking them onto a clothes hanger. You can then hang vests, ties belts and scarves from the rings By ShirleyE [26] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat, leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?" The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it protects me then, too." "Why do you wear that leather vest?" "It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches." "Well, why do you wear leather chaps?" "They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through rough bushes." "Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked, "Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?" "That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver." ___________________________________________________

refueling in air
____________________________________________________ This one is a classic, but good enough to see again: The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No". Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman". Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman"? "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper in the sandbox!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"? Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They're looking for me." ____________________________________________________
Large-scale land art by Stan Herd, known as the "Father of Crop Art."

Today, October 20, in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and 
 Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor 
 Charles VI. 
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of America’s 
 colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all citizens of the 
 colonies "discountenance and discourage all horse racing and 
 all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, exhibitions of shows, plays 
 and other expensive diversions and entertainment." 
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between 
 the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for 
 Independence. 
1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman Phineus 
 T. (P.T.) Barnum. 
1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning a 
' dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District of 
 Alaska. 
1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series 
 game for the first time. 
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that 
 took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist 
 Headquarters. 
1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve 
 in Germany. 
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 
1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and 
 Dubrovnik were liberated. 
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American 
 Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist 
 influence within the motion picture industry. 
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in Kenya. 
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 
1979 The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated. 
1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to limit 
 the violence in their programs. 
1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched. 
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that banned 
 atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety 
 devices and survived. He was charged with illegally performing 
 a stunt. 
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.
2015  smiled.


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Chrome Bookmarks 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Knife-wielding punk, who burst into library to kill kids. A 75-year-old army vet took him down. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 19, in 1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It was to be the last major battle of the American Revolutionary War. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. --- Ann Landers (1918 - 2002) Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. --- Ovid (43 BC - 17 AD) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing. The boy replied: "Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us." ______________________________________________________ A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Ross for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Dustin Brown, 19, Morton, Illinois
Knife-wielding punk bursts into library to kill kids. A 75-year-old army vet took him down. James Vernon, a 75-year-old veteran, took matters into his own hands when he found himself face-to-face with a man who was determined to shed some blood. Vernon and 16 parents and children were in a conference room at the Morton Public Library Tuesday when Dustin Brown, 19, entered and declared he was going to kill some people, according to the Pekin (Illinois) Daily Times. Brown had more than one knife and Vernon knew he had to do something fast to prevent a tragedy from happening. The elderly vet stepped in between Brown and the others, giving them a cue to leave the room. Vernon then relied on his knife training from 50 years ago to help him handle Brown. “He actually ran into the room yelling, ‘I’m going to kill some people!’ Vernon said. Vernon said the knives Brown had looked like hunting knives with fixed blades about five inches long. “I tried to talk to him. I tried to settle him down,” Vernon said. “I asked him if he was from Morton, did he go to high school. I asked what his problem was. He said his life sucks. That’s a quote.” While talking to Brown, Vernon noticed he was right-handed and expected he would strike with that hand first. Vernon knew to block with his left hand. Vernon was successful in stopping Brown from killing anyone but he didn’t walk away without an injury. Brown slashed two arteries and a tendon on Vernon’s left hand as he blocked Brown’s knife. Despite the injury, Vernon took down and subdued Brown until the police arrived. Brown was held on $800,000 bond on charges of attempted murder, armed violence, aggravated battery to a person over 60 and burglary. Brown had been free on bond facing child pornography charges.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leona Re: How do I organize Chrome bookmarks? Dear Webby I want to organize my Chrome Bookmarks, and save them to a camera chip. How do I do that? Leona Dear Leona In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the Chrome menu (The three horizontal bars). Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager. Browse to the folder where you want to alphabetize your bookmarks. Above your bookmarks, click Organize. Click Reorder by Title. Now when you open the Chrome menu and click Bookmarks, you’ll see your bookmarks listed in alphabetical order. To create a bookmark folder In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the Chrome menu. Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager. On the left side of the page, click the Folders drop-down arrow. Click Add Folder, then name your folder. Drag any bookmarks into your folder. Shift-click to pick more than one item. To Export bookmarks, open the Bookmarks manager as above. Select a folder on the left Clik on Organize on top At the bottom of that you see: Export bookmarks. That exports the selected folder, for example your Prayers folder, but not your hubby's warm-up bookmarks folder. Just export the folders you want, and ignore the rest. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more it stinkts." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Bacon in One Piece I don't know how many times I've tried different ways to get one piece of bacon out of the package and into the pan flat, not ripped not torn but flat. Work a fork under one side or the other of the bottom piece of bacon in the package, you then begin to roll the fork into the direction of the other end of the piece of bacon. Effectively, you are rolling up a piece of bacon onto the fork. When you put it in the pan, you place edge side down. Unroll it into the pan off the fork. By Deborah S. [12] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do over again. "Sure," she replied, "but definitely not the same ones." ___________________________________________________

KFC Star Trek
____________________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh, No! I can't." the first replied, "I need to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ____________________________________________________
What a marvelous idea. A preschool housed inside a retirement home.

Today, October 19, in
1765 In the U.S., The Stamp Act Congress met and drew up a 
 declaration of rights and liberties. 
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered to 
 U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. It 
 was to be the last major battle of the American 
 Revolutionary War. 
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their return 
 out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating 
 Russian army. 
1914 In the U.S., government owned vehicles were first used 
 to pick up mail in Washington, DC. 
1915 The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the 
 president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts 
 of Mexico except where Carranza was in control. 
1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by 
 the Berlin Organization Committee. 
1944 The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be allowed 
 into Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service (WAVES). 
1950 The United Nations forces entered the North Korean capital 
 of Pyongyang. 
1951 U.S. President Truman signed an act officially ending the 
 state of war with Germany. 
1960 The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba 
 covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain 
 food products. 
1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam 
 War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." 
1977 The Concorde made its first landing in New York City. 
1989 The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional amendment 
 that barred the desecration of the American flag. 
1993 Benazir Bhutto was returned to the premiership of Pakistan. 
1998 Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing license 
 back after he had lost it for biting Evander Holyfield's ear 
 during a fight. 
2003 In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear 
 plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the banks of 
 the Thames River. He survived only on water for 44 days. Blaine 
 had entered the box on September 5. 
2009 The international version of Amazon's Kindle 2 was released. 
2015  smiled.


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Organize bookmarks on Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Armed robber in Charleston Waffle House, who was shot and killed by a customer. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 18, in 1469 - Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The great god Ra whose shrine once covered acres Is filler now for crossword-puzzle makers. --- Keith Preston All generalizations are dangerous, even this one. --- Alexandre Dumas (1802 - 1870) "Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can'tbe done and why. Then do it." --- Robert Heinlein (1907-1988) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday? STUDENT: Seven. TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? STUDENT: Nine. TEACHER: That's impossible. STUDENT: No, it ain't, Teacher. I'm eight today. ______________________________________________________ TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Joshua Jermaine Davis, 19 Charleston, S.C.
Armed robber in Charleston Waffle House was shot and killed. A customer at a Waffle House in Charleston, S.C. opened fire on a would-be robber and killed him early Saturday morning —and will not be charged for the shooting, police said. “No one was hurt, which is the best part,” Waffle House division manager Brandon Rogers told the Post and Courier. “No one was injured — besides the robber.” A Waffle House employee told the paper: “He saved us.” The robber, 19-year-old Joshua Jermaine Davis, entered the restaurant shortly after 5 a.m., police said. By the time officers arrived, he had been shot. He died later in hospital, WCSC reported. Davis' Facebook page has several pictures of him posing with a handgun. Four days before the shooting, he posted a picture of what appears to be a police car and wrote, "We see Ya n----." The unidentified man who shot Davis had a permit to carry his pistol, police said. As the Waffle House manager noted, no one was injured in the shooting except Davis. The restaurant manager said Davis did not get away with anything, and the restaurant saw only minor damage from broken glass. The store was open as usual on Sunday, with an employee telling the Daily News the staff is moving on “as best we can.”
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leona Re: How do I organize Chrome bookmarks? Dear Webby I want to organize my Chrome Bookmarks, and save them to a camera chip. How do I do that? Leona Dear Leona In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the Chrome menu (The three horizontal bars). Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager. Browse to the folder where you want to alphabetize your bookmarks. Above your bookmarks, click Organize. Click Reorder by Title. Now when you open the Chrome menu and click Bookmarks, you’ll see your bookmarks listed in alphabetical order. To create a bookmark folder In the upper right corner of the browser toolbar, click the Chrome menu. Click Bookmarks > Bookmark Manager. On the left side of the page, click the Folders drop-down arrow. Click Add Folder, then name your folder. Drag any bookmarks into your folder. Shift-click to pick more than one item. To Export bookmarks, open the Bookmarks manager as above. Select a folder on the left Clik on Organize on top At the bottom of that you see: Export bookmarks. That exports the selected folder, for example your Prayers folder, but not your hubby's warm-up bookmarks folder. Just export the folders you want, and ignore the rest. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing your Web Page Favorites I recently lost my laptop to a virus (be careful clicking on those cute videos) and it was more costly to recover than to purchase a new one. Fortunately, they were able to save my data. I had a bad habit of saving to "favorites" without catergorizing. Then when I wanted an article, I had to search the whole list to find it. When I set up my new computer, I made folders in "favorites". When I save items I want to review later, I put them immediately in their proper folder such as; crafts, crochet projects, recipes, menus, etc. No need to search the whole list now, just go to the particular folder you want. It is so much easier to use, faster and keeps things where you can find them. By HerkDia [32] I hope she learned her lesson and got McAfee and MalwareeBytes for the new machine. They would have been able to prevent the infection, and save the cost of a new machine. I am amzed at how many people rely on the Easter Bunny or good luck to shield them from malware. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and gimme the bill." So the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times, then throws him out into the street. The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the houshe a drink, pour yourschelf one, and gimme the bill." The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice. So he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street. The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says (with a drunken slur), "Tarbender, buy everyone in the houshe a drink, gimme the bill." In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?" The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent when you drink." ___________________________________________________

Young girl on Vietnamese stringed instrument
____________________________________________________ A little dwarf lady goes into her doctor's office complaining of an irritated crotch. After an examination the doctor sighs, "I don't seem to see any problem. Does it get better or worse at any time?" "Yeah, it's really bad whenever it rains," she replies. "Well, then," says the Doc, "Next time it rains, get in here at once, and we'll take another look at it." Two weeks later its raining really hard, and the little lady shows up at the doctor's office. "Doctor, it's really bad today. Please, you have to help me!!" "Well, let's have a look," he says as he lifts her up onto the table. "Oh, yes, I think I see the problem. Nurse bring me a surgical kit. Don't worry ma'am this won't hurt a bit." The dwarf lady closes her eyes in painful anticipation. The doctor begins snipping away and finishes a few minutes later. "There you go, ma'am, try that." She walks back and forth around the office and exclaims, "That's great, Doc, what did you do?!" To which the doctor replied, "I just took a couple of inches off the top of your rain boots." ____________________________________________________
Great dinner entertainment.

Today, October 17, in

1469 - Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. 
 The marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 
1685 - King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, 
 which had established the legal toleration of the Protestant 
 population. 
1767 - The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the 
 boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. 
1842 - Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph cable. 
1860 - British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of 
 the Second Opium War. 
1867 - The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. 
 The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars 
 (2 cents per acre). 
1892 - The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, 
 IL, and New York City, NY, was opened. 
1898 - The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one 
 year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from Spain. 
1929 - The Judicial Committee of England’s Privy Council ruled 
 that women were to be considered as persons in Canada. 
1944 - Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during WWII. 
1956 - NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of 
 radio-equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks. 
1958 - The first computer-arranged marriage took place on 
 Art Linkletter's show. 
1961 - Henri Matiss' "Le Bateau" went on display at New York's 
 Museum of Modern Art. It was discovered 46 days later that the 
 painting had been hanging upside down. 
1969 - The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to 
 evidence that they caused cancer. 
1970 - Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death 
 after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec Liberation 
 Front (FLQ). 
1983 - General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities 
 for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal Employment 
 Opportunity Commission. 
1989 - The space shuttle Atlantis was launched on a mission that 
 included the deployment of the Galileo space probe. 
1990 - Iraq made an offer to the world that it would sell oil for 
 $21 a barrel. The price level was the same as it had been before 
 the invasion of Kuwait. 
2013 - Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat on 
 the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the seat Dec 6.
2015  smiled.


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How to partition a drive 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman arrested for shoplifting dresses Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 17, in 1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There are two kinds of light--the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. --- Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD) The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world is to be in reality what we would appear to be. --- Socrates ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Aaron bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Valentine's Day. His friend Benny remarked: "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive cars." "She did," Aaron replied. "But where in the world I was a fake Jeep going to find!" ______________________________________________________ Also known as 'women's intuition,' this sixth sense thing is no myth. Women usually seem to know what's going on in their man's lives almost better than they do themselves. Why is this? They empty his pockets before throwing his laundry into the washing machine. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aree Riveros, 58, Tampa, Florida.
Florida woman arrested for shoplifting dresses A woman caught stealing a pair of Calvin Klein dresses and a Michael Kors jacket told cops that she swiped the fancy threads because she “needed something to wear to her son’s High School Football Banquet,” according to a police report. Despite that explanation, Aree Riveros, 58, was still arrested on a felony theft charge for allegedly boosting the garments Saturday from a Macy’s in Clearwater, Florida. The clothing, valued at $428, was found in Riveros’s purse after she was confronted by security upon exiting the store. Riveros, pictured above, is free on $2000 bond. An arrest affidavit does not explain why the Tampa resident needed two dresses for her son’s gridiron banquet
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elaine Re: How do I make partitions? Dear Webby I agree that partitions would be really helpful in sorting out the mess. The braindead mess on C: is a real nuisance. So, how do I do it? Elaine Dear Elaine I use Partition Wizard. There are other partitioning softwares, but I have used PartitionWizard for decades and never had a problem. They have a free version that does probably way more than what you plan to to. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A young woman doctor tells the story about her 4 year old daughter. On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Be still, my heart," thought the doctor, "My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then, with all the earnestness of a Social Sciences major the child spoke into the instrument, "Wowcome to McDonald's. Do ya want fwies wif that?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg Carton Gardening Egg cartons are a great biodegradable way to do seed-start gardening. Simply cut off the sides and lid from your carton. Place the cut lid under the carton base to catch leaking water. Fill the holes three-quarters full with potting soil. Place your seeds in the soil then cover them with a thin layer of the potting soil. Mist as needed to germinate. If you're using a different type of egg container, such as plastic, which doesn't drain, just punch a tiny hole in the bottom of each egg bed. By attosa [128] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Money It can buy a House...............But not a Home It can buy a Bed.................But not Sleep It can buy a Clock...............But not Time It can buy you a Book............But not knowledge It can buy you a Position........But not Respect It can buy you Medicine..........But not Health It can buy you Blood.............But not Life It can buy you Sex...............But not Love So you see money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering. So send me all your money, and I will suffer for you. PayPal or check only, please. Thought this was gonna be one of those "inspirational" ones, didn't you ? However, if you do feel inspired, I sure would appreciate it if you hit the PayPal button! ___________________________________________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irDxNnzM868"> src="http://webby.com/humor/Noella-back-gold.jpg" align=left>
Ponsse Scorpion King On Board
____________________________________________________ On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, it's afternoon coffee time. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday. If it is Coast Guard, it's two before supper. If it is a Cessna, it's 3 hours to happy hour." The reply was: "It's a Piper. Where the heck am I?" ____________________________________________________
Artist adds surreal twist to photos on Instagram

Today, October 17, in
1739	Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II 
 so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and 
 deserted young children" in Londond, England. 
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. 
It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 
1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was 
 released at newsstands. 
1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was 
 sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 
1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after 
 leaving Germany. 
1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina 
 after staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 
1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) 
 began an oil-embargo against several countries including the 
 U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western 
 support of Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on 
 October 6, 1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 
1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full 
 U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 
1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the 
 San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 
 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 
1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 
1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty 
 that ended their 19 years of civil war. 
1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid 
 to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in Bolivia. 
2000 Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) achieved his 448th victory 
 as a goalie in the NHL. Roy passed Terry Sawchuck to become the 
 record holder for career victories. 
2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian 
 faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to avenge 
 the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 
2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of troop 
 movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir. India said 
 that the movements were part of a normal troop rotation. 
2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by the 
 terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8, 2002. 
2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a drug, 
 known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's symptoms. 
2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676-foot-tall-
 building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open for 
 business in 2004. 
2015  smiled.


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Partitions 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 16
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Gloria !!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Man arrested and wheeled to jail for wheelchair DUI Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 16, in 1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using the name Ann Landers. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Go, and never darken my towels again. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. --- Lynda Barry ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The lawyer emailed his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Do you want us to order burial or cremation ?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both, but not in that order." ______________________________________________________ The cowboy who was preparing the horses for the tourists asked a lady she wanted a Western or an English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and the other one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic out here." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ronny Scott Hicks, 54, Palm bay Florida
Florida Man arrested and wheeled to jail for wheelchair DUI Ronny Scott Hicks has two prior DUI convictions, but his arrest on Monday night was slightly more memorable. The 54-year-old Florida man was arrested Monday night after police in Palm Bay got reports of a man in a motorized wheelchair blocking traffic, according to ClickOrlando.com. Hicks has two previous DUI convictions, neither while driving a wheelchair, according to officials. When officers arrived on the scene, they allegedly saw Hicks sitting in his wheelchair blocking traffic. Officers said he smelled of alcohol and was slurring his words, according to WBRZ.com. Hicks allegedly refused to take a breathalyzer test, according to WTSP.com. He was taken into custody, refused treatment for an open wound, and remains behind bars at the Brevard County Jail on $5,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: CyberGrannie Re: Partitions Dear Webby I have a HP laptop with w7 and it has 4 "partitions" or rather that is what it looks like. This is what it looks like: 8 GB ram Hard disk drives 4: C: 275GB D: 298GB F (recovery) 21.9Gb G: (HP tools) 99.3MB It seems these are not partitions so I cannot combine Disk 1 (C drive) and disk 2 (D drive) This seems so ridiculous. Do you know of any way that I can combine these 2 "disks"? This laptop was just restored to original state (with 2 original disks). Dear CyberGrannie That looks OK. Why combine them? By the way, D: might be a removable "drive" like DVD. Just use them as they are. You would not gain anything by combining them anyway. For example, I have always used my E: drive for tools and programs, and my F: drive for data, that I have produced. Having extra drives or partitions allows you to have short destination, like for example E:\Alpha\Eudora instead of having my email program buried deep down in the wacky chaos on C: Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Arthur came home after a late-night poker game and was greeted by Sandra, his nagging, sourpussed wife. "And just where have you been all night?," sandra screeched at him. "Playing cards," says Arthur, "but that's not important. What matters is that I lost you to Bubba Smith." "Lost me!!" Sandra screamed, "How did you manage that?" "It was a heartbreaker," Michael admitted. "I had to fold with a royal flush." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dieter's Chocolate Mousse This is very simple. No cooking and you can make it the strength or quantity you desire. Just take natural Greek style yoghurt, or any other non flavored yoghurt. Add cooking style cocoa powder. This has no added sugars at all. You can also add vanilla. Simply mix it up in whatever strength you want. You do have to mix thoroughly because the cocoa powder seems to sit on the surface. You can make it a strong or weak chocolaty taste, getting your "chocolate fix" without the guilt. If it is a bit strong, you can always add a few drops of pure vanilla essence. That's it, simple! Approximate Time: INSTANTLY Yield: WHATEVER YOU MIX UP. Source: NO. MY OWN CONCOCTION. I HAVE NO IMAGE BECAUSE THE IMAGE IS WHAT IT IS. By Trixie Pettman-South [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Norrissa was nervous the night her new boyfriend invited her and her three young sons to an upscale restaurant for the first time. He ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the server brought it, the children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking. When the waitress poured a small amount for Norissa to taste and handed her the glass, her six-year-old piped up, "Mom usually drinks a LOT more than that!" ___________________________________________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tNwrzxaYs8"> src="http://webby.com/humor/Noella-back-gold.jpg" align=left>
courtesy flush
____________________________________________________ Noella's brother has just returned from a visit to Israel and reported to her this about elevators in Israel: Apparently Shabat is the Sabbath and in some cities, it is observed faithfully. On that day, the elevators are set to stop at every floor so no one has to "work" and press a button. Usually there is one elevator that is still and does not run except for opening and closing doors. The doors stay closed for 7 minutes and then open - while the elevator doesn't move. One never knows which elevator is the Shabat elevator. So people will get on it accidentally, the doors close and 7 minutes go by. The door opens, everyone gets off and the elevator fills up with new people. Meanwhile the people who just got off are trying to tell the new ones - don't get on, it won't go anywhere. But of course no one listens, so the process starts all over and continues all day long! ____________________________________________________
I never knew there was a real little girl behind Alice in Wonderland that had to do all the motions as well as the voice.

Today, October 16, in
1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette 
 was beheaded after being convicted of treason. 
1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. 
 The Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day 
 and included four meals. 
1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA 
 (now located in West Virginia). 
1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install 
 indoor plumbing. 
1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in 
 New York City, NY. 
1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute 
 the Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of 
 the Disney Company. 
1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric 
 light bulb. 
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians 
 entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 
1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened
1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers 
 using the name Ann Landers. 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile 
 bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 
1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's 
 fifth nuclear power. 
1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 
1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed 
 Gamal Abdel Nassar. 
1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the 
 Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 
1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic 
 missile from a submarine. 
1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well 
 that she had fallen into in Midland, TX. The was trapped for 58 hours. 
1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S. 
 warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure 
 on the controlling military leaders. 
2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco Inc. 
 for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron Texaco 
 Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world. 
2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it 
 had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of a 1994 
 agreement with the U.S. 
2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five 
 years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal 
 investigation of the energy company Enron. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television 
 episodes sold.
2015  smiled.


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Ready for W10, or not? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a S.C. man who battered wife after she posted his bail. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 15, in 1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would look better if he would grow a beard. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. --- Nancy Reagan (1921 - ) Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. --- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Italians have followed the ages old tradition of naming their boats with a three-letter prefix. For example: USA uses USS which means "United States Ship." The British uses HMS which means "Her Majesty's Ship." and now...Italy is using AMB which apparently means "At's-a My Boat!" ______________________________________________________ was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Christian Chandler, 30, Myrtle Beach South Carolina
Bonehead battered wife after she posted his bail Moments after his wife bailed him out of jail today, a South Carolina man punched the woman in the face as the pair walked out the police department’s front door, according to an arrest report. Robert Christian Chandler, 30, was freed from the Myrtle Beach jail around midnight after his spouse posted $262 bond. But Chandler, who had been locked up on a disorderly conduct charge, did not appear grateful for his release. “What are you doing here, ho?” Chandler asked his wife multiple times, cops reported. A surveillance camera in the police department’s lobby recorded Chandler “grabbing the victim aggressively” as they walked toward the front door. Upon exiting police headquarters, Chandler punched his wife in the face, according to a police dispatch supervisor who witnessed the attack. Video shows the woman “hitting the wall outside the doors,” while the supervisor can be heard saying, “He just hit her.” The 30-year-old victim had cuts on her right arm and her nose was swollen, police noted. While acknowledging that Chandler “grabbed and shoved her,” she said that she did not want him “in any more trouble as she just bailed him out of jail.” Chandler, seen above, was arrested at the police station and returned to jail, this time for misdemeanor domestic violence. However, the unemployed Chandler only spent about ten hours in custody before he was released from the lockup on a $2130 personal recognizance bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cora Re: Windows 10 nagger Dear Webby Good Morning Webby, Have been getting pop ups to get Windows 10 installed. What are your thoughts about it now? What bothers me is.....if I get it installed and don’t like it then what? Really undecided on this. Any help you can give please. Cora Dear Cora Neither your machine nor you are ready for Windows 10. It is just a scam to get you to buy a new computer. There IS a secret way to go back, theoretically, but it is apparently neither easy nor totally complete. IF and when your current machine dies of old age and you HAVE to replace it, by then the new machines will probably have Windows 11 or 12 on them. It is not a good idea to volunteer to become a guinea pig on a x.0 version. At the very least, wait until 10.1 or 10.2 Also keep in mind, would you buy a detergent or soap if you were pestered with rude naggers like they do with Windows 10, or would you tell them where to stuff their soap ? Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done? You can't hit a garbage can from two feet away! My aim is much better than yours!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Muffin in a Minute (Microwave) This is a recipe that can be varied to your taste. It is healthy, fast and will never get boring. Approximate Time: Less than 5 minutes Yield: 1 muffin Ingredients: 1/4 cup flaxseed meal (can grind the flaxseeds yourself, if you prefer) 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp cinnamon 1 Tbsp Splenda (optional) 1 egg Steps: Get the cup and put the flaxseed meal in. Add the baking powder. Add the cinnamon. Add the Splenda, if using. Add the egg. Mix everything together. Cook for a minute in the microwave. Turn it out on a plate. If it looks too wet, let it sit for a minute or two. Mine was fine. You can add blueberries or other fruit. You can also put in a tablespoon of cream cheese before cooking. Store the flaxseed meal in the freezer to keep longer. Nutritional Value for Plain Muffin: Calories: 195, Fat: 9 grams, Protein: 12 grams, Carbs: 9 grams (net carbs 1 gram), Fiber: 8 grams, Sugars: 0 grams Source: Pantry Challenge Yahoo Group By Judy Pariser S. [35] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Johnny's class was having an English lesson, and the teacher called on Little Johnny to recite a sentence with a direct object. Little Johnny stood and thought, then said, "Teacher, I think you have lost weight." "Why thank you, Little Johnny," the teacher said, blushing. "But what is the direct object?" "A good report card next month," he replied. ___________________________________________________

Older Ladies
____________________________________________________ "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own TV, phone, computer and DVD player. "So what do you do?" asked his friend. "I send him to MY room!" ____________________________________________________
Leaky concrete. Hire the right people if you want a complicated job done. I can't imagine that helicopter pilot having that level of control.

Today, October 15, in
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of 
 St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential 
 candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would 
 look better if he would grow a beard. 
1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in western 
 Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought 
 from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 
1937 "To Have and Have Not" by Ernest Hemingway was published 
 for the first time. 
1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was executed 
 for treason. 
1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the 
 Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled 
 execution. 
1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had 
 been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin. 
1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down 
 in Beirut International Airport. 
1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 
1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings, 
 surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career 
 points. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade 
 sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 
1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the 
 land-speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than 
 the speed of sound. 
1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back 
 pictures of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 
1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba 
 for the seventh year in a row. 
2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of 
 Jupiter's moon Io. 
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast her wild ride on Periscope. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 14, in 1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. --- Lester B. Pearson (1897 - 1972) Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, they don't recognize you. ______________________________________________________ While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a guy with his name had been in my high school class almost 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "Graduated in 1955." "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Whitney Beall, 23, Lakeland, Florida
DUI suspect arrested after she broadcast her wild ride on Periscope Drinking and driving don't mix, but it's an especially dangerous cocktail when you're live streaming your wild ride on Periscope. Police in Lakeland, Florida, arrested 23-year-old Whitney Beall Friday night after receiving 911 calls from Periscope viewers reporting that a drunken driver was using the app to broadcast herself, according to WFTV.com. Periscope is an app owned by Twitter that lets people livestream events over social media. Police said Beall told viewers she was "drunk," F---ing drunk," and didn't know where she was. At one point, she said had a flat tire, according to Fox13.com. Thanks to numerous 911 calls, officers were able to track down her Toyota Corolla. Although Lakeland Police officers are not authorized to use Periscope, one of the officers added the app to his own phone in order to track the suspect, according to WTSP.com. When the officers initiated a traffic stop, Beall hit a curb, according to WFTV.com "I really hope I don't get a DUI," she allegedly said seconds before hitting a sign in the median, a moment captured on video. When Beall was finally apprehended, officers said she smelled of booze, spoke slowly and had bloodshot, glossy eyes, according to TBO.com. Police said Beall failed a sobriety test and refused a breath test to determine her blood-alcohol level. The suspect was booked into the Polk County Jail on DUI charges. She was released Saturday on a $500 bond, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: PDF reader Dear Webby I hope all is well by you. I have heard some good things about Nitro PDF reader. I wanted to know if you heard anything about it. Dave Hi Dave Yes, I have written favorably about it, and have used Nitro for many years. It is quite OK. Using it to fill forms takes a bit of experimenting. You almost have to read the instructions! Once you get used to it, though, it works quite well. Scan your signature and save it as a jpg or pnp file. Then you can even insert your signature onto a form, and then fax it, without ever using up any of YOUR paper. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!" So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart, with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome.. The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!" "Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick Bread from Dumpling Mix I ran out of bread today, so I tried making up two packets of dumpling mix into a loaf. It came out light and aerated. The texture looked a little rubbery, so I sliced and toasted it. The crust was a bit brittle and tended to flake off when slicing. It tasted really nice toasted. I am thinking of experimenting with rolls next time. The mix that I used required only water to be added, so possibly a good option for an emergency food kit. By Verity Pink [38] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Mrs. Trent, seated in her living room, heard the back door slam. Thinking it was her young son, she called, "I'm in here, darling. I've been waiting for you." There was no answer for a moment and then a strange voice faltered, "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I ain't your regular milkman." ___________________________________________________

Explosions
____________________________________________________ Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles. The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing? Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful liquid in the world." The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on your forehead every day, bad thoughts will pass away." Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is TURPENTINE! If you put this on a cat's butt, he'll pass a Harley Davidson, maybe even a Kawasaki!" ____________________________________________________
Leaky concrete. This is amazing!

Today, October 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman 
 forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of England. 
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands 
 for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement 
 for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 
1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film 
 "Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion picture. 
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee, WI. 
 Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he continued 
 with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured at the scene 
 of the shooting. 
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed 
 record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 
1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the 
 League of Nations. 
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather 
 than face execution after being accused of conspiring against 
 Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade 
 liberated the city of Athens. 
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck 
 Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first American 
 to break the sound barrier. 
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, 
 began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people. 
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested 
 the idea of a Peace Corps. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S. 
 intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet 
 medium-range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. 
 President John F. Kennedy announced that he had ordered the 
 naval "quarantine" of Cuba. 
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. spacecraft 
 was transmitted from Apollo 7. 
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death 
 of President Nasser. 
1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of Kirkuk. 
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well in 
 Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant politicians 
 of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole responsibility for running 
 Northern Ireland. 
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 13

A couple of days ago I noticed that my new neighbors in the 
East had a huge pile of oversize garbage bags filled with 
leaves, and their lawns were already getting covered with 
leaves again and looking just like mine.

I looked at the sky and noticed the beginnings of an arch.
That is a sign of an impending Chinook. (Stormy wind from
the West, 40 gusting to 65, sometimes higher).

On today's walk I noticed that my lawn was clean. No leaves.
My neighbor's lawn had the truckload of bagged leaves gone,
and their lawns were covered with leaves again.

It helps to have obstructions, like my row of Saskatoon 
berries, in line with the wind.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a SC man, who was arrested after he called 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 11, in 1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became known as the White House in 1818. After that the Americans walked up to Canada and burned down York (Toronto). More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. --- Lucille S. Harper There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At Finnegan's wake, Katy Ryan remarked about the corpse: 'Doesn't he look happy?' 'Yes,' said the widow Finnegan. 'He died in his sleep and he doesn't know he's dead yet! In fact,' she went on, 'if he wakes up in the morning the shock will kill him!' ______________________________________________________ The following ad appeared in a newspaper. Single Black Female Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. Good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck.Hunting, Camping, Fishing trips. Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy. (The phone number was the Dog Pound and Daisy was an eight week old Black Labrador Retriever.) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for sending this picture: Back Of Crescent ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Doggett, 53, Spartanburg, South Carolina
SC man arrested after he called 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him A South Carolina man called 911 early this morning to complain that his girlfriend would not have sex with him, according to an arrest report. When a cop responded to his Spartanburg residence, Patrick Doggett, 53, “stated he called 911 because his girlfriend, Ms. Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ass.” Woodruff told police that Doggett had been drinking all day and “didn’t know where he was at.” She added that Doggett got into bed and wanted to have sex, but “she had her grandchild with her.” So, Woodruff noted, Doggett "got up and then dialed 911." Doggett, who was outside the residence drinking an alcoholic beverage when police arrived, was arrested for public intoxication and booked into the county jail (where he remains locked up this afternoon). Pictured above, Doggett has not been cited for misusing the 911 system, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Many Re: Font Color From all the replies I gather that the problem is monitor brightness. I send the font color "Navy". So does Ophelia. Most people find that more readable and more relaxing than black. Now, get this: Some people like the fonts "Black, as they are now." Some people like the fonts "Blue, as they are now." And the majority likes the fonts "Navy, as they are now." That indicates to me that 1) Some people have their monitor set too dark, and they see the Navy colored fonts as black. 2) Some people have their monitor set too bright, and they see the Navy color as Blue. 3) That the majority have set the brightness optimally for their eyes, and they see all the colors as intended. I shudder to think how beautiful flowers or sunsets get trashed, if the colors are shifted. Turn the monitor brightness a tad, up or down, until my fonts look "Navy". Easier on the eyes, and colors are more natural. Just use the font color to calibrate the overall brightness. You can do that with the buttons at the bottom of the monitor, and with some monitors even from Windows. Neil sent this link: Calibrate" target="_blank" >http://windows.microsoft.com/is-IS/wind ... ;Calibrate colors from Windows Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and talons and wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and is apt to bite. The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks at the wary assistant. "Don't worry," the parrot squawks. "I won't hurt you." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg Cloud Recipes I love this recipe because it only has two ingredients and turns into something deliciously elegant. With the high prices on eggs these days, this is nice way to stretch your money. Approximate Time: 10 Yield: 3 clouds Ingredients: 3 eggs 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese Steps: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking pan with parchment paper. Separate your egg yolks from the whites. Whip the egg whites at high speed for a few minutes until stiff peaks form. Fold in the Parmesan cheese. Divide the fluffy whites into 3 cloud shapes on the baking sheet. Using a spoon, hollow out a well on each cloud where you will be dropping your egg yolk. [Later] Bake egg white cloud for a few minutes. Remove from oven, and drop an egg yolk into each cloud. Bake another 3 minutes. Enjoy your beautiful creation! By attosa [125] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ How to build a camp fire 1. Split dead tree limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make pyramid of slivers (include those embedded in hand) 6. Light Match 7. Find a dry match and light it 8. Borrow a lighter and use it to light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene." 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Relabel can to read "gasoline." 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. Apologize for burning down all the tents and the outhouse 17. When thunder storm has passed, gather more firewood and try again, applying lessons learned in steps 1-15. ___________________________________________________

school lunch
____________________________________________________ It may still be summer where you are, but in South Carolina it's the season of the big fall mosquitos. The other evening, a man walked out into his yard and two mosquitos picked him up. As they lifted him, one says to the other, "Let's take him down by the lake and have a picnic." The other one said, "No way ! If we carry him down there, the big mosquitos will take him away from us." ____________________________________________________
What people in 1900 thought the year 2000 would look like.

Today, October 13, in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction 
 of a naval fleet. 
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in 
 Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that
 the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became 
 known as the White House in 1818. 
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown 
 Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S. 
 invasion of Canada. 
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry 
 Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 
1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an 
 armistice with the Allies and declared war on their ally, Germany. 
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed 
 at Piraeus. 
1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for 
 the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on 
 an hour long special. 
1962 "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the 
 new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of 
 the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France 
 supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and 
 one minute. No passengers, just lots of fuel.
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in 
 San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 11



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado burglar arrested in jail after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 11, in 1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. --- Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804) Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything. --- Charles Kuralt ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Clyde An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife." ______________________________________________________ A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "The nurse told me that I will be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor. "Hmmm, then I better start learning to read sheet music!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, Denver, Colorado
Colorado burglar arrested in jail after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later It was the doo doo that did him in. Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, is accused of burglarizing a Denver pre-school and church in August 2014 and was caught due to a DNA test of a pair of poopy shorts left in a bathroom at the crime scene. A pre-school employee noticed the crap-stained clothes and put them in a plastic bag before the police arrived, according to the arrest affidavit. The responding officer took the contaminated shorts into evidence, but it took 13.5 months for them to worm their way through the forensic labs, according to Lynn Kimbrough, a spokesperson for the Denver District Attorney. "In Colorado, a DNA sample is taken of anyone who is arrested for a felony," Kimbrough told HuffPost. "So when they ran the unknown sample, his DNA was already in the system." Kimbrough didn't want to venture a guess as to what the poopy shorts smelled like after more than a year. Hendrix is accused of stealing two guitars from the church and numerous electronic items from the school, with a combined total value of $4,072. He was charged earlier this week of two counts of burglary, two counts of theft, and one count of identity theft, according to the arrest affidavit. The suspect was already in custody in the Colorado Department of Corrections on unrelated theft and drug cases when the s*** hit the fan, according to the Denver Post. Hendrix is is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court on Oct. 16 to be formally advised of the charges, according to CBS Denver.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karl Re: Multiple browsers Hi Webby, Another great thing about running two different browsers side by side is you can have two accounts with the same company open at the same time. For example, I sometimes have my work gmail account open while having my personal gmail account open. If I only used one browser, I'd have to sign out of one or the other. Right now I have 3 browsers open. Firefox, SeaMonkey, and Lynx. I've had as many as four. People still use Lynx? I'm limited to five gigs a month. I read a lot of news articles on Lynx because it doesn't download all the crap on web pages. The average Lynx page download seems to be about 37K. Versus the 2-3 megs per page using a regular browser with javaScript enabled. Is it HTML 5 that brought us the bottomless webpage? God, I hate that. All those self loading videos and ads. It burns a lot of bandwidth plus it slows the system down. If you have anybody in the Denver area that's interested in making the switch to Linux, you can put them in touch with me. Karl Dear Karl Good point! Sometimes, when I am in the middle of a form on a borwser and don't want to leave that page, I open a different tab, but when I already have a lot of tabs open, then it is definitely better to open a different browser. I agree, for just reading text nothing gets even close to good ol Lynx on Linux. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Ed I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "they're for my girlfriend". The little 5 year old said, again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a LOT of them, too! Man, you really must have f****d up!" Her mother turned as red as the roses, but all the other passengers bust a gut laughing. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Cat Litter Box After seeing a nifty cat box with a high price tag, I decided to make my own. It is a tote with a hole cut in the top of the lid. I had empty totes already so that didn't cost me anything. The litter does not get kicked out at all. Occasionally some is tracked, but it is way better than it being kicked out. My cats love it too. Additionally, I did buy a cat pan set that has two pans and a sifter for like $18 at one of the big box stores. The solid pan fits perfectly in my tote. I still have to disinfect the big tote, but not as often as I do the inside pans. Overall, it is less cumbersome. By mreynolds [1]] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!" ___________________________________________________

360 frying pan dance
____________________________________________________ The Burgess Hill Town Council in the UK, in response to a worker's complaint that sunlight coming through the window caused a glare on her computer screen, has already had three meetings, six months of discussion, contact with several contractors, produced a six page report, worked up five potential alternatives, their favorite being the spending of up to $10,000 to put computer controlled screens on the outside of the window or coat the window with reflective film, but whose Town Clerk has decided to solve the problem by moving the desk away from the window. ____________________________________________________
Tales and pictures of feral children.....so sad.

Today, October 11, in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle 
 of Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict 
 Arnold suffered heavy losses. 
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put 
 into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went 
 between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 
1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. 
 The electric machine was used for counting votes for the 
 U.S. Congress, however the Congress did not buy it. 
 because there was no way to rig it for cheating. 
1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film 
 for cameras. 
1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British 
 and the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 
1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a 
 nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter 
 from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. 
 atomic program rapidly. 
1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S. 
 The probe did not reach its destination and fell back to 
 Earth and burned up in the atmosphere. 
1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned 
 Apollo mission was the first in which live television 
 broadcasts were received from orbit. Wally Schirra, 
 Don Fulton Eisele and R. Walter Cunningham were the 
 astronauts aboard. 
1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went 
 out of service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant 
 Pond, ME, were switched to direct-dial service. 
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female 
 astronaut to space walk. She was aboard Challenger. 
1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 
1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 
1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay 
 rights measure in the state was unconstitutional. 
2015  smiled.


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FireFox and/or Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 10

Thank you, Elizabeth!!


After yesterday's uncomplimentary remarks about IE,
by sheer coincidence, of course,
FaceBook blocked me. They claimed that DearWebby was not
my real name. 
DearWebby has been my name a lot longer than FaceBook
has been theirs!

It's just a minor nuisance. Considering the source, it really
is not a big deal. I rarely spend more than 5 minutes per
day on FB, and the number of FB friends are only about 1/6
of the Humor Letter readers, if that. 

You can still get to my FB page with old links, so it really
is not a big deal.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida car thief arrested for driving stolen car to police station Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 9, in More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. --- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two Venusians are walking down the street. One Venusian finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again. Puzzled, she says to the other one, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says the other Venusian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly! It's me!!" ______________________________________________________ The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: No, she did not go out onto the porch to take that picture! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carnell Eugene Butler 18, St. Petersburg, Florida
Florida car thief arrested for driving stolen car to police station Authorities say an 18-year-old man drove a stolen car to police headquarters to pick up court papers about a previous auto theft he was involved in — documents that were found in yet another stolen car. Carnell Eugene Butler now faces charges in three stolen car cases. St. Petersburg police say officers found a stolen Infiniti on Sunday. Inside, they found Butler's documents related to a June auto theft arrest. Detectives contacted Butler, who arranged to pick them up. When he arrived at police headquarters, a detective arrested Butler and found keys to a Hyundai Sonata in his pocket. The car was located a block away. It, too, had been reported stolen. Butler is held without bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Firefox and/or Chrome Good Morning Webby, I see in today's Webby tips that you suggest using Chrome, or at least FireFox. I am using FireFox. Do you think Chrome is better than FireFox? If I install Chrome, should I remove FireFox or keep it as a back up? Thanks for all you do to help us. Dani Dear Dani You can have both FireFox AND Chrome running side by side. Personally, I prefer Chrome, but sometimes I use both Chrome and Firefox side by side to compare how a new design appears on different browsers. Usually they are quite consistent these days. There is no need to get rid of one. Unlike IE, those two are both quite secure. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them automatically said, "Hello, Father." The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no father, you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and got three kids!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Duck Tape in Baggies I use duct tape for many of my crafts and with cats, I constantly am picking off hair from the edge of the tape roll. I also find that when I put it away in my storage box it sticks to everything. To solve both of these issues I have started storing the rolls in plastic baggies. I use both sandwich (holds 1 roll) and gallon (holds 4 rolls) sized bags. By lalala... [696] By the way, it's DUCK tape, not duct tape. The name comes from DUCK Weave, a square weave strip as used for the Egyptian mummies and countless applications since then. Hospital tape is one of the better known ones, and so is Duck Tape. A Duck weave tape always tears straight across, never lengthwise like Fiber Tape. Duck tape of course is also used for taping ducts, where the workers appreciate that it tears straight across and never lengthwise. There have been lots of arguments and even lawsuits about duck versus duct. The fact is, though, it has been called duck tape for a lot longer than there have been ducts. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The most remarkable thing about Ernie's wife is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ___________________________________________________

360 cockpit video Swiss airforce goofing around
____________________________________________________ Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer. ____________________________________________________
What an interesting world we live in. September's National Geographic photo highlights.

Today, October 10, in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD.
1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 
1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 
1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries 
 under Sun Yat-sen. 
1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of 
 the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal. 
1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 
1938 Nazi Germany completed its return of Czechoslovakia's 
 Sudetenland. 
1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president 
 of China. 
1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla 
 Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the 
 official had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 
1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the 
 first global airline service. 
1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 
1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts" 
 comic strip. 
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of 
 British rule. 
1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. 
 He set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 
1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in 
 reaction to a military coup that forced President 
 Jean-Claude Aristide into exile. 
1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the 
 Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 
1997 The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, opened to the 
 public. 
2003 Rush Limbaugh annouced that he was addicted to painkillers 
 and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 
2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 
2015  smiled.


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IE malfunction 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Michael!!!!!
Thanks, Neil!
Thanks, Ron!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Missouri intruder arrested for sleeping in an unused bedroom Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 9, in 1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago to Bison, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there! Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?" The customer replied: "That's close enough." ______________________________________________________ New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check. The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I take a check from you ? I don't even know you !" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gregory Trent Cole 53, WENTZVILLE, Mo.
Partially-clothed intruder found sleeping in child's unused bedroom A 53-year-old man has been charged with burglary and harassment after he was found asleep in an empty bedroom of someone else's Missouri home. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports Gregory Trent Cole was charged Monday. Authorities say Cole entered a home in the St. Louis suburb of Wentzville and went into a bedroom early Sunday while the people who lived in the home were in another room. They say he removed some of his clothes and went to sleep. Police say the man was discovered around 8 a.m., wearing only underwear and a shirt. Cole was taken to the St. Charles County Jail, where he is jailed on $15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ginger Re: IE malfunction Dear Webby Ctrl/Alt/up arrow worked to get the screen right side up. Now I'm getting a message when I try to sign in with Internet Explorer: "There is a problem with this website's security certificate" no matter what site I try to sign in to.... any idea what's going on? Thank you, Ginger Dear Ginger Internet Exploder is obsolete, and not secure enough. Dump it. Use Chrome, or at least FireFox. I have not used Internet Exploder for many years and have no idea how to fix it's problems. Good Luck! DearWebby Thanks Webby - I DID switch to Chrome and it's working fine. Glad we have you for a resource person! Ginger _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said. turned the shredder on, and with a flourish bowed out of the way. As the CEO inserted the paper, the motor inside whirred to live and pulled the paper in. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Treating Dry Cracked Heels A major cause of dry cracked heels in women comes after menopause. Hormonal changes are a major culprit. All of our glands are changing. The oil glands slow down oil production. There isn't much you can do except for diligent care. There are a few excellent exfoliate files made especially for feet. Pumice stones work for the younger crowd, but not for us. Cheap Dollar Store foot scrapers don't work. Go to a beauty supply and get a good brand foot exfoliater and foot cream. Diligence is the major key to keeping your heels soft like they were in your teens. It is possible. Make it a nightly regime; file (exfoliate) and cream every night! By hopeful [27] The same happens with men too, especially if they are getting close to heart or diabetes problems. I found best for getting rid of dry calloused skin on the feet and elbows, yes, it affects them too, is the flexible sanding mesh sold for gyprock (sheet rock, drywall) work. It is a flexible mesh, that does not clog up or build up. Just shake it when done, and it is clean again, ready for next time. You can get it at Home Depot and similar places for $3 - $5 for a pack of 5. Keep one, give away the rest. After sanding I use a little dab of baby oil. Not as fancy on the outside of the bottle, but does the job quite nicely. Just once a week is enough for me now. No more cracked and painfully infected heels, but soft and flexible skin. If you got thick and hard callouses, that have started to crack and the cracks "swallow" sock lint and infect, you should go to a pedicurist to clean out the cracks and glue them. Believe it or not, when the cracks are cleaned out and disinfected, they can be glued shut with crazy glue. That allows them to heal in record time. However, a weekly sanding and oiling should become a habit, once that excessive skin growth on heels and soles, and elbows, has started. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!" "Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine." "What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing." ___________________________________________________

Asi se crea un mosaico pieza a pieza Personally, I think this is so cool! All the handwork involved.
____________________________________________________ "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then , why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing all by yourself." ____________________________________________________ 1... Avoid alliteration. Always. 2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) 4... Employ the vernacular. 5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 8... Contractions aren't necessary 9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 10.. One should never generalize. 11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14.. Profanity sucks. 15.. Be more or less specific. 16.. Understatement is always best. 17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20.. The passive voice is to be avoided. 21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 23.. Who needs rhetorical questions? ____________________________________________________
Sculptures by Lorenzo Quinn, son of Actor Anthony Quinn.

Today, October 9, in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished 
 from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against 
 punishments for religious offenses and giving away land 
 that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded 
 Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek 
 religious freedom. 
1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered 
 in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 
1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is 
 now San Francisco, CA. 
1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary 
 War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led 
 by George Washington, defeated the British troops under 
 Lord Cornwallis. 
1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two 
 British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 
1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 
1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, 
 and St. Louis, MO, began. 
1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with 
 the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later 
 became Montgomery Wards. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their 
 longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 
1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 
1919 The Cincinnati Reds won the World Series. The win would be 
 later tainted when 8 Chicago White Sox were charged with 
 throwing the game. The incident became known as the 
 "Black Sox" scandal. 
1935 "Cavalcade of America" was first broadcast on CBS radio. 
1936 The first generator at Hoover Dam began transmitting 
 electricity to Los Angeles, CA. 
1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. 
 The dome was unharmed in the bombing. 
1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 
1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 
1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The 
 Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an UFO. 
 The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited 
 the city of Voronzh. 
1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in 
 response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and 
 hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 
1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in 
 Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring 
 a hundred. 
2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his 
 father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing 
 him to number 9. 
2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made 
 Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing 
 Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water 
 had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 
2015  smiled.


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Scamware infection 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 8

>From Neil
Here is an online file converter that will handle many 
types of files, not just video
http://www.fileminx.com/
Neil

Thanks, Neil!


I had scrimped to save towards winter tires and had enough
for half of one tire in the jar. But such was not to be.
Got nailed by the cops.
Some woman was texting or doing something, that caused her 
to swerve and change speeds, so I decided to pass her at 
the earliest opportunity, and let her have her accident 
somewhere behind me.

No problem, I thought. When there was a break in the traffic
in the other lane, I stomped on the gas, passed her and was 
back in my lane long before there was traffic on the other 
lane.

Unfortunately, a cop was the second car in that lane, and
he saw his opportunity to be nasty to a good guy.
Apparently, at the moment I passed the SUV, I was briefly
going 30 over the speed limit.

It used to be that just for a second for passing it was 
OK to go over the speed limit. Apparently not, when I am 
the victim. That sure put a big damper on my mood.
No winter tires, and no Christmas this year.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a California 'Maxi Pad Bandit' Arrested Despite Fiendishly Clever Disguise Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 7, in 1918 U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 in the Argonne Forest in France. York had originally tried to avoid being drafted as a conscientious objector. After this event his was promoted to sergeant and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else. --- Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962) There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 - 406 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q. The truth of the matter is that you are not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas? A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. ______________________________________________________ A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Leroy!", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for years! How could you get lost?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, he whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gary Victor 51, Victorville, California
'Maxi Pad Bandit' Arrested Despite Fiendishly Clever Disguise Who was that "maxied" man? A man accused of robbing an auto parts store in Apple Valley, California, has been arrested despite disguising his face by strategically putting a maxi pad over his eyes. Surveillance video, taken around 6:40 p.m. on Sept. 28, shows a man with a feminine hygiene taped on his head, using a piece of wood to break the glass front door of a Battery Mart and slip inside the store, according to Victor Valley News. The suspect stole several battery chargers and flashlights before fleeing the scene in a white 1992 Dodge Dynasty. When Battery Mart owner Mark Wedell saw the video, he immediately noticed something about the burglar. “Right away everybody started saying we should call this guy the maxi pad bandit,” Wedell told NBC Los Angeles. “We had a pretty good picture of his face 'cause he came to the store the first time and looked in the window without his maxi pad on.” “But when he came back and he had the maxi pad over his eyes, I guess he thought it was going to take care of everything." Investigators for the San Bernardino Sheriff's Dept. had no problem seeing through the fiendishly clever disguise and quickly arrested their sanitary suspect, 51-year-old Gary Victor. "It wasn't surprising, but yes, that is, in fact, that's what he was trying to conceal his identity with, and he didn't do a very good job," police spokeswoman Trish Hill said, according to UPI. Victor was arrested and taken into custody on suspicion of burglary and possessing stolen property. The stolen items were returned to Battery Mart, according to the Victorville Daily Press. The maxi pad was recovered and taken into evidence, Hill told HuffPost. Victor is a convicted felon with an extensive history of run-ins with the law, according to the Victor Valley News.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ed Re: Scamware Dear Webby Hi. Your letter has helped me out of so many binds. Thank you. I just got a virus on my computer that I can't handle. I think I heard about this type on your letter not too long ago. It has shut down everything that I want to use. Pretty much my whole operating system, and put a bunch of programs on my computer. Then it tells me my computer has been rendered useless for safety and I should call an 877 number for assistance. I have run virus scans in safe mode, but the virus cannot be found. And I can not get rid of it. Any help or advice would be much appreciated. I am fearful I will have to take the computer in to a shop to get rid of it as it is the worst virus I have ever seen. Thanks Ed Dear Ed I guess you don't have McAfee. You MIGHT be able to install it, but many of those viruses block it. Try getting it via http://webby.com/mac You might be able to sneak it onto the machine via that route. If it doesn't get rid of the scamware, chat their support. They can get onto your machine and do miracles there. Don't worry about your porn collection. Those guys have seen bigger ones, and are not interested in anything except fixing as many machines per day as possible. You have to have a current account with McAfee, though. Without that, they can't help you. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!" "Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy No-Peel Applesauce How to make an easy, cheap, quick applesauce for Fall! Approximate Time: 4 Hours Yield: 10-12 servings Ingredients: 20 assorted apples 1/2 cup brown sugar 2 Tbsp cinnamon 1 cup water Steps: Choose 20 assorted apples. Break off stems. Core and cut all apples. Add apples, water, cinnamon and sugar to crock pot. Simmer on low heat for four hours. Mash apples in crock pot after four hours. Puree' applesauce in food processor. Enjoy! By GRAPE [8] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" ___________________________________________________

safety truck
____________________________________________________ The drunk was brought into night court, having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried. "I was going to a lecture." "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, schure," said the drunk. "Schometimes my wife schtarts 'em even later than that." ____________________________________________________
What a magnificent horse!

Today, October 8, in
1895 The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in 
 Philadelphia, PA. 
1915 During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded. 
1918 U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly 
 killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 in the 
 Argonne Forest in France. York had originally tried 
 to avoid being drafted as a conscientious objector. After 
 this event his was promoted to sergeant and was awarded 
 the Congressional Medal of Honor. 
1919 The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began. 
1945 U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and 
 Canada would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. 
1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 
1952 "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for the 
 first time. 
1966 The U.S. Government declared that LSD was a dangerous 
 and an illegal substance. 
1970 Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel Prize 
 for literature. 
1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted former Presidents Carter, 
 Ford and Nixon to the White House. The group was preparing to 
 leave for Egypt to attend the funeral of Anwar Sadat. 
1982 In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity, 
 were banned. 
1991 A slave burial site was found by construction workers in 
 lower Manhattan. The "Negro Burial Ground" had been closed in 
 1790. Over a dozen skeletons were found. 
1993 The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI of 
 any wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on the Branch 
 Davidian compound. The fire that ended the siege killed as 
 many as 85 people. 
1998 Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran said 
 that three border posts were destroyed before the Taliban 
 forces were forced to retreat. The Taliban of Afghanistan 
 denied the event occurred. 
1998 Canada and Netherlands were voted into the U.N. 
 Security Council. 
2001 Tom Ridge, former Governor of Pennsylvania, was sworn in 
 as director of the new U.S. department of Homeland Security. 
2001 Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to be conducted 
 outside of the international space station without a shuttle present. 
2002 A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's request 
 to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day labor lockout. 
 The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an estimated $1 billion to 
 $2 billion a day. 
2003 China announced that it would have a human crew orbit the Earth 
 briefly on October 15. 
2003 Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative agreement that 
 would allow the first commercial flights between the two countries 
 since the end of the Vietnam War. 
2003 It was announced that Vivendi Universal and General Electric Co. 
 had reached an agreement to merge. The name for the combined company 
 was NBC Universal. 
2003 Siegfried Fischbacher and his manager announced that the 
 "Siegfried and Roy" show at the Mirage was canceled permanently. It 
 was also said that if Roy Horn survived, after a tiger attack on 
 October 3, the duo would continue to work together. 
2004 The first-ever direct presidential elections were held in Afghanistan. 
2015  smiled.


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Another video converter 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who stole boyfriend's false teeth, prescription drugs Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 7, in 1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder. --- M. C. Escher (1898 - 1972) "Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow." --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, Gina decided the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. "You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." Leroy looked at her and replied, "Twice a day." ______________________________________________________ An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Felicity Leigh Palma 44, Port St. Lucie, Florida
Florida woman stole boyfriend's false teeth, prescription drugs A woman in Port St. Lucie was arrested Thursday after allegedly stealing her boyfriend's prescription drugs and filing a false police report because he had upset her, police said. According to authorities, Felicity Leigh Palma, 44, called police to report a burglary in progress in the 4000 block of SE Bonney Street Thursday evening. She told the officers she saw "two dudes" running from her home, and that her jewelry and money had been stolen, an arrest report said. Palma's boyfriend told police that two of his prescription drugs and a pink case containing false teeth were missing. As police were investigating, her boyfriend brought over a bag to police that he had found inside Palma's car and dumped the contents onto a table, the report said. Out spilled the pink case containing his false teeth. Palma became defense and stated that he was trying to frame her, the report said. Police then noticed the missing prescription drug bottles belonging to her boyfriend inside a purse Palma was carrying. Palma told police that she fabricated the entire incident because she was mad at her boyfriend and wanted to show him how easy it would be for someone to steal from him, the report said. She was booked into the the St. Lucie County Jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tony Re: Another Video converter Dear Webby LOVE your newsletter and look forward to reading it regularly! You've helped me with several problems I've had and also make sure I didn't create a few more. LOL (I think this is only my 2nd time replying to a reader's question) Darcy was asking about a good video converter program. I've been using Format Factory (http://www.pcfreetime.com) for MANY years. Not only is it a great video converter it's also a great converter for audio files, photos and just about everything anyone would need to convert the format on... (and it's also my favorite price: FREE!) Tony Thanks Tony! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Underneath in hand writing: Socks can eat any place they want. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Line Dry Jeans Inside Out I love hanging our clothes outside to dry, but don't like stiff jeans. My late mother-in-law taught me to turn them inside out when I hung them on the clothes line. They end up soft and wrinkle free. It also helps to slow down the fading of the jeans. By Mary [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Captain - "How did you attain such proficiency in bayonet thrusting?" Private - "Reaching for steak at our boarding house." ___________________________________________________

flutes
____________________________________________________ Junior was one of those holy terrors and dad was quite surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday. "Do you really believe that'll help improve his behavior ?" he asked. "Well, yes," she said, "it will be a lot more peaceful INSIDE the house." ____________________________________________________
It takes a lot of talent to paint on feathers. I especially like the owls and the bluebirds.

Today, October 7, in
1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to 
 New York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates 
 adopted the "Declaration of Rights and Grievances." 
1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of 
 Saratoga began. 
1868 Cornell University was inaugurated in Ithaca, NY. 
1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park 
 automobile factory was run on a continuously moving 
 assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. 
1918 The Georgia Tech football team defeated Cumberland 
 College 222-0. Georgia Tech carried the ball 978 yards 
 and never threw a pass. 
1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 
1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and 
 entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat 
 to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops 
 over the border into North Korea. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty 
 with Britain and the Soviet Union. 
1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of 
 Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next 
 president of Egypt. 
1985 The United States announced that it would no longer 
 automatically comply with World Court decisions. 
1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism 
 in favor of democratic socialism. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, 
 and naval firepower to Somalia. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier 
 to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving 
 toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 
1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that 
 alleged Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by 
 preventing banks from offering other cards. 
1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to 
 $4.83 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet 
 drug caused dangerous problems with heart valves. 
2001 The U.S. and Great Britain began airstrikes in 
 Afghanistan in response to that state's support of 
 terrorism and Osama bin Laden. The act was the first 
 military action taken in response to the terrorist 
 attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001. 
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected 
 governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 
2015  smiled.


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